Fanfiction Reruns

[4EverGreen]

This is probably one of the sillier episodes I've written, but I still think it's good and fun. Here's another re-run of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" Enjoy! / Sniz is in the camera monitor room, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, it was kart racing day challenge for the remaining contestants. Specifically, a 'Mario Kart' racing challenge! But before they could race, they had to actually BUILD the karts! Some, like Private and Kowalski, built their karts well. Others, like Tigress and Po; not so much! During the race, Po found a Pendant of Life, and Bubble Bass, using his knowledge of the 'Mario Kart' video games, managed to utilize his skills to his advantage, and secure immunity for himself! Who knew Bubble Bass had such talent?! The contestants decided, to pit three potential victims against each other. Po shocked EVERYBODY, by playing the Pendant of Life on HIMSELF, while Kowalski, shocked EVERYBODY, by managing to beat TIGRESS, in a tie-breaker challenge. So, after a long, hard game, everybody had to say good-bye to Tigress; knowing that the battle had been won, but the war was FAR from over yet! Now, we are on the verge of embarking on one of our MOST ambitious challenges YET! What kind of challenge is it? I'll give you ONE hint, it's going to be COSMIC! Find out how it will ALL go down, on today's episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Get ready for blast-off!" / Instead of the usual show open, the remaining contestants are shown dancing in front of a changing screen, showing a lot of intergalactic photos of galaxies and stars taken by satellites, space probes, and the Hubble Telescope, all to the tune of the rocking B-52's hit song, "Cosmic Thing!" /

Fred Schneider sings: "Gyrate it till you had your fill, just like a pneumatic drill. Don't let it go down the drain, ya better hop on the cosmic wagon train! WOW!!!! Cosmic! Cosmic! I was havin' this out-of-body experience, saw these cosmic beings. Everywhere I went up there, they were shakin' their cosmic things! Like someone gave ya a wild goose, or a freight train with a loose caboose! You better shake your...honey buns! Shake your honey buns! Shake it till the butter melts, shake it till the butter melts. Shake that cosmic thing, shake that thing, shake it, ohhhh yeah! Shake that thing all night long, shake it man, you can't go wrong. Don't let it rest on the President's desk, rock the house! Cosmic! Wooooo! Cosmic! I don't need no earthquake, don't need no tidal wave! Till night falls and day breaks, gonna shake, shake, shake, shake. shake, shake, shake, shake! Shake! Shake! Shake! Cosmic thang! Cosmic! Cosmic! Cosmic thang! Cosmic thang! Cosmic! Shake that thang Shake that thang! Wooo! Yeah! (Instrumental solo) Like someone gave ya a wild goose, or a freight train with a loose caboose, ya better shake your... honey buns! Shake those honey buns! Shake that thing all night long, shake it man, ya can't go wrong! Rock the house! Rock the house! While cruising through the Ionosphere, I saw these alien beings. Everywhere I went up there, they were shakin' their alien things! I'll give you a genuine faux pearl ring if ya git on up and shake your...honey buns! Shake your honey buns! Shake! Shake! Don't let it rest on the President's desk, rock the house! Oh yeah! Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Cosmic! Wooo! Cosmic! Wooo! Cosmic! Cosmic thing! Rock the house! Cosmic! Wooo! Turn it loose! Cosmic! Shake it down! Cosmic! Rock the house! Cosmic! Shake it down! Cosmic! Oh, yeah! Shake that thing! Cosmic!" / And the epic song ends! / "Cosmic Thing!" / The episode opens up on Bubble Bass, having another weird dream in his luxury suite hotel room. And thanks to the magic of Anti-Cosmo, we get to see what it is! Bubble Bass is dreaming that his mother, who looks younger, is holding him as a baby, and is taking him to see a fortune teller; the very SAME one who would end up selling Spongebob Squarepants the Nudibranch! Bonnie goes into see the fortune teller, and she says: "Madame, I have come in to see you." The Fortune Teller says: "Of COURSE you have come to see me! I KNEW that you would be coming into see me!" Bonnie says: "Right, because of your...psychic...things...however THAT works! Listen, I want to KNOW about how my little...Bubble Bass is going to turn out. He's a sweet little thing now, but I want to know what I should do, to make sure he grows up...right!" The Fortune Teller says: "Hmmm! Your little fish is very HARD to figure out indeed, even for someone of MY clairvoyance! I shall have to consult my crystal ball!"

The Fortune Teller channels her energies into the Crystal Ball. The room suddenly DARKENS, and a mini-storm begins BREWING in the room! The Fortune Teller says: "Your Bubble Bass will face some conflict in his life, plagued by insecurities, he will sometimes lash out at fishes who might otherwise be his friends,  in a jerk-face facade, to cover up his own feelings of shame and guilt!" Bonnie asks: "Shame and guilt brought on by WHAT?!" The Fortune Teller says: "That, I cannot see. It is his OWN actions, that determines how he acts, and REACTS, to events around him! But, Bubble Bass WANTS to be a GOOD fish; and he WILL be a good fish! BUT; ONLY when he stops feeling the unnecessary, misplaced burden of shame and guilt on himself, will he FINALLY achieve his FULL potential, and be the fish he WANTS to be!" Bonnie says: "Really?! Tell me how THAT happens!" The Fortune Teller STOPS her psychic energies, and the storm calms down! The Fortune Teller says: "I'm afraid I cannot do that. If I tell you how THAT future is supposed to play out, it might NOT happen! After all, it is often that we face what we TRY to avoid, by trying to TAKE a path that we THINK will avoid it! Bubble Bass will have to discover his own path on his own. But when he does, he will be all the more BETTER for it!" / The dream ends, and Bubble Bass wakes up! Bubble Bass says: "What a STRANGE dream! It felt...too REAL to just be a dream! Was that a subconscious memory? I NEED to call mom to find out!" Bubble Bass picks up his cell phone, and calls his mom. His mom appears on a split screen. Bonnie says: "Bubble Bass, what are you doing calling me so early?!" Bubble Bass says: "Mom, I had a weird dream." Bonnie asks: "Does this dream involve GRAVY again?!" Bubble Bass rolls his eyes, and says: "No, mom, this dream does not involve GRAVY again!" Bonnie says: "All right, why don't you TELL me what it involved?" Bubble Bass says: "Well, I had a weird dream that when I was a baby, you took me to see a fortune teller, in order to tell me about my future. Now, she said that I have feelings of unnecessary, misplaced burdens of shame and guilt on myself, and only when I stop feeling them, will I finally be able to achieve my FULL potential, and be the fish I want to be! Now, what does THAT mean?!" Bonnie sighs, and says: "Well, that dream was TRUE! That DID happen, and I DID take you to see a Fortune Teller, and THAT is what she said! Now, I don't know HOW you could remember this, even SUBCONSCIOUSLY; but then, stranger things have happened. I personally don't know what it means. But...as a baby, you always LOVED taking bubble baths, but for some reason, you never wanted to STAY in the bubble bath, and you would take off, running around NAKED in the bubbles, and that's why Bobby gave you the nickname of Bubble Bass." Bubble Bass says: "It's starting to come BACK to me now!" Bonnie says: "I guess...maybe I tried to shelter you and slightly over-protected you MORE than I should have. But I want you to know, I only did it out of LOVE!"

Bubble Bass says: "I know that. But I don't think that's the only thing that's bothering me. Those jerky things I did to Spongebob and Patrick. If I go back there as a good guy, are they going to accept me, and want me as a friend?" Bonnie says: "Well, I don't KNOW whether or not they will accept you, but if there's one thing that I DO know, is that you can't expect ANYONE to accept you, until you LEARN how to accept yourself! Yes, you've MADE some mistakes, and you've PAID for them! But last time I checked, nobody is perfect! If you really want to, you should EMBRACE who you are, even your mistakes, and USE them to remember where you've came from! Just look at your progress this season! You went all the way from being 'Brilliant, but lazy', to actively winning challenges all on your own! Your the last member of your alliance left STANDING! You've really WORKED hard to get to where you are; harder than ANY other contestant has worked to overcome your previous short-comings!" Bubble Bass says: "I know I've come so far; I just...feel so unsure about myself." Bonnie says: "Than stop DOUBTING yourself, and live up to who you WANT to be! You CAN become the fish you want to be! You're the ONLY one who can! And no matter what you decide to do, you should ALWAYS know, that I will LOVE you, no matter WHAT you decide!" Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "Mom, you're RIGHT! I DO need to become the fish I want to be! It won't be easy, but I'm going to DO it! And when I do, I'll be a fish that EVERYONE can be proud of; even Spongebob and Patrick!" Bonnie says: "That's the GOOD fish I raised! I KNOW you will DO what's right!" Bubble Bass says: "I'll do what I can, and make it work the best I can! You can count on me!" Bonnie says: "All right, then! Take care, I love you; good-bye!" Bubble Bass says: "I love you, good-bye!" And he hangs up! / (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "It's become clear to me, why I'm still having strange dreams. I've been concealing my TRUE identity of who I want to be, from everybody else! It's not enough to just WANT to be a good guy in this competition, I need to be a GOOD guy in REAL life! And unless I do something to change the image that I USED to cultivate for myself, the one everyone USED to remember me by, that's not going to happen. Not the way it should. It won't be easy, but once this game show is over, I need to SHED my old status! I'm going to DISCARD the clothes that have defined my image as the OLD Bubble Bass, before I can define my image as the NEW Bubble Bass!" (End Confessional) Bubble Bass goes to Po's room, and knocks on his door! Po opens up the door, but he's COMPLETELY naked! Po says: "What do you want?" Bubble Bass asks: "Po, why are you naked?" Po asks: "What are you talking about? I'm NOT naked!" Bubble Bass asks: "Than where are your shorts?" Po says: "I'm wearing them of course! Right..." Than Po realizes that Bubble Bass IS right, and quickly ducks behind the door! Po says: "I don't know how this happened! Nobody HAS ever managed to take away my shorts before...while I was sleeping!"

Bubble Bass says: "Than put on some other shorts!" Po rummages through his drawers, but is SHOCKED to find all his drawers EMPTY! Po says: "This can't be HAPPENING! Who could take away ALL my clothes?!" Bubble Bass' mood sours, and he says: "Anti-Cosmo! Now that Tigress is GONE, he's trying to turn YOU into a villain, by taking away the VERY thing that defines YOU as a hero!" Po says: "Good luck with THAT, he is going to have to do a LOT better than THAT! Still, I am going to need SOMETHING, until I can find my shorts again!" Po looks around, and spots a yellow apron with a red rose, on an ironing board. Po takes it, wraps it around himself, and he says: "I guess THAT'S going to have to do for now. Still, I am wondering why YOU want to see me!" Bubble Bass says: "Po, I've decided! I'm not just going to BE a good guy in the competition, I want to be a good guy in real life! And to start that off, I want to, apologize for trying to vote you off last night. I REALLY, had no idea those penguins were trying to USE us, the way they were using us!" Po says: "Tigress suspected that SOMEONE might try that play, she just didn't know who." Bubble Bass says: "Listen, I know you're probably a little sore about the other night, and you have every right to be! But we NEED to put our differences aside! Those penguins can't get AWAY with playing us! We have GOT to take our dignity back! So, I suggest that for the time being, we put our differences aside, and work together to get at least ONE of the penguins out of the competition!" Po thinks about it, and he says: "Agreed. But who should we target?" Bubble Bass says: "Well, since the Pendant of Life is no longer an issue, if one of them happens to win immunity, we'll simply vote for whoever DOESN'T have it, and try to eliminate the other one later. But if neither of them wins it, I suggest we vote off Kowalski. He's CLEARLY the bigger intellectual threat between the two!" Po says: "But what about Private?" Bubble Bass says: "I'm not discounting Private! I know it's not just dumb luck that he got THIS far! But for us, it's better to KEEP the threat that we can keep better control of, than one we can't! That's why Kowalski has GOT to go, if we can manage it! And you can get Jenny on board with the idea!" Po asks: "Why would Jenny EVER want to vote with us?" Bubble Bass says: "You can tell her, that she would be doing you a FAVOR! In exchange for you NOT getting mad at her for her role in helping to eliminate Tigress, you WON'T vote her off, even if she DOESN'T win immunity tonight, as long as she agrees to vote for whichever penguin, or Kowalski, if he doesn't win immunity tonight!" Po says: "Well, I can't argue with that plan! That actually sounds like a REALLY good plan!" Bubble Bass excitedly says: "You REALLY think that's a good plan?!" Po says: "Of course! I wasn't sure at first, but now I know, that you ARE a good guy at heart! And just like me, you want to do the right thing, no matter WHAT that involves!"

(Confessional) Bubble Bass actually cries tears of joy, and he says: "Po says that he KNOWS I'm a good guy! And if Po says that I'm a good guy, than I have FINALLY found the validation that I'm looking for! All that's left is to use that validation, and get as far as I possibly can in this competition! And no matter what happens, I'll be able to leave the game, knowing that I played it as honorably as I could have! I know that Po won't make it easy for me to win! But if I've made it past Tigress, than I've GOT to see if I've got what it takes to get past Po! And may the better man win, no matter WHO it is!" / Po says: "Bubble Bass really HAS come a long way since he first got here. When he first got here, I thought there was almost no CHANCE he would make it past the team merge, ESPECIALLY with his EARLY demeanor! But he has surprised me! He REALLY straightened up! He got his act together, and he has gone above and BEYOND the call of duty, in doing the right thing, even WITH different factors trying to make it difficult for him! And if he can be THIS good in the competition, imagine what he can do BACK in Bikini Bottom! I don't know if they will SHOW it on the ACTUAL 'Spongebob Squarepants' show, but at least WE'LL know, what Bubble Bass is ACTUALLY like!" (End Confessional) A theremin plays over the loud-speakers, and Sniz says: "Attention Earthlings! The time for the next challenge is at hand! Please report to outside the cafeteria for further instructions, on how today's challenge will go down! That is all!" Kowalski says: "How exciting! It sounds like we're going to have an outer space challenge!" Private says: "An outer space challenge? How are they going to pull THAT off?!" Jenny says: "Well, obviously, Anti-Cosmo has his magic tricks, and we KNOW of SOME aliens who can provide a challenge! This ought to be MOST interesting!" (Confessional) Jenny says: "I've battled my share of intergalactic evil-doers, mostly from The Cluster. And no matter WHAT has been thrown my way, with the exception of Armageddroid, it's never really FELT like a challenge to my abilities! Hopefully, today will be different! After all, if I don't face difficult challenges, how will I ever get BETTER, as a heroic protector of Earth?!" / Kowalski says: "Let's face the facts; Skipper had a tough time LAST season, facing against intergalactic aliens without MY charts and analysis. But now that I'm HERE, I am feeling SUPREMELY confident, that I can face ANYTHING that is thrown my way!" / Private shudders, and he says: "I'm feeling SO nervous right now! Kowalski is hanging by a thread! He's already narrowly AVOIDED being eliminated TWICE! I don't know if he can survive a THIRD time! And now that the Pendant of Life is no longer in play, it's either got to be Immunity, or NOTHING! It's just...I feel so unsure about what I SHOULD do! I mean, I want to win to, but I certainly don't think the other contestants are going to let the BOTH of us, enter the Final Four! I just hope that I don't make too poor a showing, and that the other contestants will keep me on for their OWN reasons!" (End Confessional)

The contestants make it to outside the cafeteria, and Sniz asks: "Po, why are you wearing an apron?" Po says: "Ask Anti-Cosmo!" Sniz shouts: "Anti-Cosmo! Have you been MESSING with the contestants AGAIN?!" Anti-Cosmo appears, and he says: "Sorry! It's not ME this time! It must be Anti-Poof! A chip off the old block! He must be having fun, practicing his evil spells!" Jenny asks: "What did Anti-Poof do?!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Why don't I save you the trouble and SHOW you?!" And Anti-Cosmo poofs up a small, movie screen, and an image of Anti-Poof appears in the image! Anti-Poof says: "Mwa, ha, ha! Oh, poor Po! I know how much you LIKE your clothes! The very THING that defines your IMAGE as a hero! BUT, how can you MAINTAIN your image, without your CLOTHES?!!!" And Anti-Poof shows ALL of Po's pants, lying in a heap on a concrete ground! Anti-Poof says: "Since I know how COMPETENT you guys can be trying to perform a heroic task, I'm not even going to give you the chance, and NIP your chances in the BUD! So...!" Anti-Poof gives himself a FLAMETHROWER, and a welding mask to shield his face, and Anti-Poof says: "GOOD-BYE, CLOTHES!!!! GOOD-BYE, IMAGE!!!!" And Anti-Poof BURNS all of Po's clothes into ashes! / And the clip ends! Po angrily says: "When I get my hands on Anti-Poof, I'm going to give him SUCH a spanking!" Anti-Cosmo says: "You'd have to FIND him first, and good luck with THAT! You will get no help from ME in that department!" General Barracuda says: "Oh, is THAT so?!" Anti-Cosmo says: "That's so! Don't bother raising your fist, I'll see MYSELF out!" And Anti-Cosmo poofs himself away! Fondue says: "He'll be back. He's GOT to come back to pick up his paycheck SOMETIME!" Marlene says: "Don't worry about it Po, we'll figure out your situation later." Po says: "I'm not worried, I've endured WORSE things than this...can't think of any right NOW, though." Sniz says: "In any case, contestants, today, you have OFFICIALLY become the Final Five! But by the end of today, you will become the Final Four! To determine who that will be, you will be performing an outer space challenge today, and here's how that is going to work! First off, we have developed a realistic space shuttle ride on this island. While it won't GO into outer space, it WILL simulate the zero G-'s that you will experience, GOING into outer space and IN it, in order to get you acclimated to the real thing! The next part is, we have asked Zim, Kaput, Keswick, and Wally, former contestants AND, all aliens or in Wally's case, with EXTENSIVE space travel credentials, for their help in taking you into outer space, and piloting your faster than light speed flying saucer, through the asteroid belt and back, making sure to pass between EIGHT sets of red colored asteroid rocks, in order to magically turn them green, to VERIFY that you've passed through them! The first contestant to get back HERE after passing through the necessary asteroids, will win immunity for the challenge!"

Kowalski says: "Uh, one problem. Jenny is a ROBOT! She can't FEEL Zero G's, even if she WANTED to!" Sniz says: "Not to worry! The turbulence she experiences, will be MORE than enough to make up for her lack of a biological equilibrium!" Private says: "A biological equilibrium? BOY, does this show use FANCY words!" Sniz says: "We got to meet our educational quota SOMEHOW! Marlene, get our contestants suited up and prepped up as best as you can for this challenge!" Marlene says: "Yes, sir! Contestants, pardon the expression, but you're about to get a...'Crash course', on how to be an astronaut. First off, in space, no one can hear you scream; not even is you're Sigourney Weaver or John Hurt! Second, it normally takes at least months, or preferably years, to become a trained astronaut. But due to the short amount of time, you will have to settle for an hour of physical exams! Once you're done, you will be suited up, and put into the space shuttle! Once you're all trained, you will be beamed aboard the aliens' flying saucers, for the final part of the challenge! And don't worry, the flying saucers will be a CINCH to pilot! I wish you the best of luck, and may the best contestant win!" Private says: "Thank you, Marlene! That means so MUCH to me!" (Confessional) Private says: "I know that Marlene was talking to EVERYONE, but it's kind of nice for me, to pretend that she was addressing ME personally!" (End Confessional) Marlene says: "Contestants, to our makeshift, Astronaut, training room!" And all the contestants follow Marlene. Sniz says: "All right! Our challenge has just gotten started! Our contestants will be put through their paces, as they train to see if they have, 'The Right Stuff', which I can mention by name, since I'm not planning to make any money off of it! They will see whether they are men, or if they are mice; metaphorically speaking, of course! Find out who is up to the challenge, once we come back from some necessary messages, on 'Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back'! It will be an event that will ROCK the Solar System!" / (Commercial Break) / The commercials end, and it opens up on Marlene, standing in front of a Zero G simulator, with Zim, Keswick, Kaput, and Wally! Marlene says: "Welcome back to the action currently in progress! While our contestants are currently spending their time, getting their bodies adjusted for outer space flight, I just thought I'd take some time, to talk with 3 extra terrestrials, and one outer space traveler! Guys, how does it feel to be back here on this show?" Zim says: "Silence, mortal! I do not ANSWER any questions to someone who has an intellect VASTLY lower than my own!" Marlene says: "Than you must not answer very many questions at ALL!" Kaput says: "BURN!!!! And I'm not like Zim, I'll answer your question! I'm mainly here in order to raise my chances of getting picked to come back on Total Cartoon Legends. If ZIM can get a chance to have a comeback, than so can I!"

Keswick says: "And the reason why I'm here, is to explain why exactly it was that T.U.F.F., needed that Death Ray...Thingy we got from the contestants during that spy challenge. You see, I wanted to reverse engineer it, to see if it would be capable of generating great thrust, instead of great destruction! As it turns out, it can! And now that I've hooked up the energy source to the flying saucers, all four spacecraft can make a journey to the asteroid belt and back to Earth in just one hour, instead of a couple of years!" Wally says: "And I, Admiral Wally, his smartness, want to see the effects of this speed on various objects, including a live creature. So, whoever gets to fly with me, will get to experience the most this new found speed has to offer." Marlene says: "Fascinating. And it looks like our contestants are finished with their space training now! Here they come!" /

Triumphant music, reminiscent of "The Right Stuff", plays while the five contestants walk towards the camera in slow motion. Kaput says: "Wow! Now THAT, is AWESOME!" Marlene asks: "Are all of you contestants ready to get on with this challenge?" Po says: "As ready as we'll ever be, given the circumstances". Marlene says: "Than get ready to board the spaceships." Private says: "Um, one problem. There's only FOUR spaceships, and five of us!" Sniz says: "I think you're forgetting, Jenny is a ROBOT! She's already BUILT to fly into outer space, and she can do so WITHOUT the need to breathe air, and will be protected from a hot Earth re-entry!" Jenny says: "Yeah! I'm surprised you guys FORGOT that!" Private blushes, and says: "Sorry!" Sniz says: "In any case, we're going to decide this randomly! So, Po gets to go with Kaput, Private gets to go with Keswick, Kowalski gets to go with Zim, and Bubble Bass gets to go with Wally!" Wally says: "Yeah! I got the fan favorite for this season!" Private says: "I thought that I was the fan favorite!" Sniz says: "Maybe for ONE person! But we've lost contact with him, and we don't know where he is anymore!" Private sadly says: "Just my luck!" Kowalski says: "Don't worry, I KNOW you're skills! You'll do just fine with or without that fan!" Po asks: "Kaput, is your spaceship going to go fast?" Kaput says: "It SHOULD! It's got more energy in it than the entire California electrical supply grid!" Bubble Bass says: "So, Wally, how is it that I'm a fan favorite?" Wally says: "Simple. You've shown that despite some mistakes, you've learned how to become kind, nice, generous, and above all, not afraid of who you TRULY are! I know that when this season is over, you'll be able to show everyone at Bikini Bottom that." Bubble Bass confidently says: "You're right! I can, and I WILL! It's CLEAR to me about what I need to do, I just hope everyone will be cool with me, doing it!" Kowalski says: "All right Zim, listen up! I don't really like you, and you don't really like me! But, I'm willing to put my distaste for you away for the moment, in order to win this challenge!" Zim scoffs, and says: "You HONESTLY think that YOU can beat these guys?!" Kowalski says: "I should! I've got the charts and the analysis on my side!" Zim says: "Listen! You might know how to win this game on PAPER, but this is REAL life! Wisdom isn't enough to win this game! I ought to know, I TRIED that strategy the last two seasons I competed! Didn't work, either time! You want to win this challenge? You better have the SKILLS, to back up your wisdom!" And Kowalski gulps nervously! (Confessional) Kowalski says: "I hate to admit it, but jerk wad has a POINT! Out of all the contestants, every single one of them has more ACTUAL skills than I do, even Private! And all I have are my charts! Would good will my charts do without any actual skills?! I better hope that some actual skills manage to manifest really soon, or else I'LL be kaput, and I don't mean the ACTUAL alien named Kaput!" / Kaput sarcastically says: "Never heard of THAT comment before!" /

Zim says: "I just want to state, for the record, that if I knew the competition was going to be THIS easy this season, I would've actually competed!" / Wally says: "I hope that I get chosen to come back for Total Cartoon Legends! I TOTALLY want to play with Bubble Bass! He would be a GREAT ally!" / Bubble Bass says: "Wally thinks that I would be a great ALLY! Wow! I'm really lucky I get to be with HIM, then!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, then! Contestants, board your spaceship! Jenny, get ready to blast off!" Po boards Kaput's spaceship, Private boards Keswick's spaceship, Kowalski boards Zim's spaceship, Bubble Bass boards Wally's spaceship, and Jenny switches to interstellar mode! On board Wally's spaceship, Bubble Bass is AMAZED to see a big bucket of GRAVY! Bubble Bass says: "WOAH! Wally, you carry around THAT much gravy?!" Wally says: "Ordinarily, no. But, it is rare, space gravy from the planet KO-35. It has been untested as of yet, which is why I have been asked to transport it back to MY home planet, so that Yay-Ok can analyze it!" Bubble Bass says: "Cool! What happens if I touch it?" Wally says: "I don't KNOW, I SAID it was UNTESTED!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh." Marlene appears on the screen monitors, inside the spaceships! Marlene asks: "Are all the contestants buckled up, and ready for blast-off?" Private says: "All buckled up, and accounted for, Marlene!" Sniz says: "Than get ready for launch! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and LIFT OFF!!!!" And as the spaceships blast off from the ground, into the outer stratosphere, and into outer space, the chorus of Elton John's "Rocket Man" begins playing in the back ground! / Elton John sings: "And I think it's gonna be a long, long time, 'til touchdown brings me 'round again to find, I'm not the man they think I am at home. Oh, no, no, no. I'm a rocket man, rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone. And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time, 'til touchdown brings me 'round again to find, I'm not the man they think I am at home. Oh, no, no, no. I'm a rocket man, rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone." / And the spaceships reach outer space! On the monitors in the spaceships, Sniz appears! Sniz says: "Congratulations, contestants! You are now OFFICIALLY in outer space! You may now proceed to head towards the asteroid belt! Just watch out for random space junk that may be flying around!" And all the contestants simultaneously say: "Space junk?!" And the contestants have to avoid, and some fail to, avoid getting their spaceships hit by things that even LOGICALLY shouldn't BE in outer space, like a barbell, a grandfather clock, a piano, an umbrella, a bird cage, a couch, a lawn chair, and an HDTV! Kowalski says: "Ugh! We've been hit by EVERYTHING except a Kitchen Sink!" And then Kowalski gets hit by PRECISELY that! Bubble Bass says: "Ooh, I'd hate to be Kowalski right about now!" Po gasps, as he sees something headed TOWARDS Bubble Bass' spaceship! Po says: "Bubble Bass, look out for that soccer ball!" Bubble Bass says: "WHAT?!" Po says: "MOVE!!!!" And Po QUICKLY slams his spaceship into Bubble Bass' spaceship!

However, Po, ends up slamming SO hard, it knocks Bubble BASS off his feet, and causes both Bubble Bass AND Wally to have their clothes RIPPED off as they SNAG on the sharp edges within the spaceship, and the space gravy ends up getting poured ONTO them! Bubble Bass begins coughing up BUBBLES, and he says, with BUBBLES coming out of him: "Gee, what WEIRD tasting gravy! Wait! Are those bubbles, coming out of me?" Bubble Bass stops talking, and no bubbles come out. Bubble Bass quickly moves around, and produces more bubbles! Bubble Bass says: "Wally, do YOU feel any different?" Wally says: "I don't know, I need some brain food." And to Wally's surprise, the refrigerator in his spaceship opens, and a banana comes floating RIGHT into one of Wally's hands! Bubble Bass says: "WOAH! How did you do that?!" Wally says: "I just thought about wanting a banana, and it CAME to me!" Bubble Bass says: "You know, I think that space gravy gave us some kind of SUPERPOWERS!" Wally says: "Do you really think so?!" Bubble Bass says: "Watch!" And Bubble Bass concentrates, and starts to form bubbles of various shapes and sizes, including some COMPLEX shapes that Spongebob has created in the past! Wally says: "I think you're right! You've gained the ability to create and form bubbles into ANY shape you want!" Bubble Bass says: "Try thinking about food again!" Wally says: "Okay!" And Wally thinks, and sure enough, an apple comes floating to him! Bubble Bass says: "It seems that you've gained the ability to have telekinesis over food! But why?" Wally says: "It can have it's uses!" Bubble Bass says: "But why did WE gain these powers?" Wally says: "Obviously it must be the space gravy. It must give you a power, based on a subconscious thought or memory buried DEEP within your psyche! For me, whenever I'm not on a mission, I tend to think about food. But, there must be SOMETHING in your life that has allowed you to create bubbles!" Bubble Bass gasps, and he says: "Those incidents my MOM told me about; about running around in BUBBLES! That must have been on my mind! But you know what?" Wally says: "What?" Bubble Bass gasps, and he happily says: "This actually feels...liberating. I...I don't feel ASHAMED of myself anymore! I don't need to hide who I truly am anymore! I AM Bubble Bass, and what you see, is what you get!" Wally says: "Awesome! Me to!" Bubble Bass says: "Stand back, I'm going to try something! Do you have a weapons system in place?" Wally says: "Yes, I do!" Bubble Bass says: "Than let's see what some BUBBLE power can do!" And Bubble Bass puts his fins up to the weapons bay, concentrates, and through the laser bay, fires out BUBBLES, shaped like bombs, and they even EXPLODE like bombs, and REMOVE all of the space junk floating around the contestants! Jenny says: "WOAH! Bubble Bass cleared all the space junk with, BUBBLES?! Totally wasn't expecting that!" Bubble Bass says: "This is ACTUALLY awesome! Now that we've got THAT handled! We've got a challenge to win!"

And Bubble Bass jets off, and gains the lead! Private says: "Hey! He's taking off!" Po says: "Than we better go after him! Come on, Kowalski!" Kowalski groggily says: "Don't mind me, I just need to walk off this minor concussion, first." Jenny scoffs and says: "Lightweight!" Fondue looks at the action through their monitors, and he says: "They sure are GOING fast! So fast, we can't even really MONITOR their actions in real time!" Marlene says: "Than it looks like we have to go for a montage song! Personally, I prefer Pat Benatar's version of "You Better Run!" Sniz says: "Than make it so, Anti-Cosmo!" / Pat Benatar's "You Better Run", plays; and while it does, a montage of the contestants trying to fly through the asteroid field, and avoiding the rogue asteroids, as well as Bubble Bass' bubble creations, Bubble Bass begins building and maintaining a lead throughout the ENTIRE race! / Pat Benatar sings: "Whatcha tryin' a do to my heart? Whatcha tryin' a do to my heart? You go around tellin' lies, and now you want to compromise; whatcha tryin' a do to my heart? And you better run, you better hide; you better leave from my sight, yeah! Whatcha tryin' a do to my soul? Whatcha tryin' to do to my soul? Well, everything I had was yours, and now I'm closin' all the doors. Whatcha tryin' a do to my soul? And you better run, you better hide, you better leave from my sight, yeah! I love you oh, I love you so! Can't you see it? Don't you know? I can't stand your alibis, Yyour tellin' lies, you drive me wild, yeah! (Instrumental Solo) I said, what are ya tryin' a do to my head? Whatcha tryin' to do to my head? Well, now I've gotta draw the line, 'cause you ain't gonna take my mind. What are ya tryin' a do to my head? You better run, you better hide! You better leave from my sight! You better run, you better hide! You better leave from my sight! Let me go, yeah! I said go away, and leave me alone! I can't stand you no more!" (Instrumental finish, until Bubble Bass' spaceship touches down first, and wins, ending the epic song!) Sniz says: "And it's all over! It's all over, and in RECORD time, to! That new energy source is efficient, but a little TOO much for our challenge purposes. Oh well, live and learn!" And the other contestants arrive, and land as well! Sniz says: "It looks like ALL our contestants are here! Come on out, the challenge is over!" Everyone comes out, but everyone is SURPRISED to see Bubble Bass and Wally WILLFULLY naked! Private says: "Bubble Bass, what HAPPENED to you two?!" Bubble Bass says: "Long story. To simplify it, I have bubble based super powers now, Wally has telekinesis over food, and we are no longer ashamed of who we are!" Kowalski says: "That's GREAT! But do you have to be so BLATANT about it?!" Wally says: "You're not ONE to TALK! You and Private regularly NEVER WEAR CLOTHES AT ALL!!!!" Private says: "Ooh, he's got us THERE, Kowalski!" Po says: "And I agree. It's their choice, I won't argue with it!"

Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "Whew! I don't have to HIDE who I truly AM anymore! What a RELIEF! (DOING!!!!) Uh, THAT, came out wrong!" General Barracuda says: "Son, is this REALLY who you truly are?" Bubble Bass says: "Dad, I've never been sure of anything more in my life. However, if it makes you FEEL any better, I'll compromise a little." And Bubble Bass concentrates, and creates a layer of BUBBLES, around his body. General Barracuda sighs, and he says: "I suppose it will do." Bubble Bass says: "Awesome! And Flats The Flounder said I would NEVER make ANYTHING of myself! Well, just look where I am now!" Sniz says: "I agree. You definitely showed HIM up! You have immunity, and cannot be eliminated tonight! Everyone else, is fair game!" Kowalski says: "Come, Private! We have a VERY tough choice to make!" Private says: "Agreed!" As soon as they leave, Bubble Bass says: "Po, Jenny, come here!" Po asks: "What do YOU want?!" Bubble Bass says: "Po, you wanna avenge the loss of Tigress?" Po says: "More than anything!" Bubble Bass says: "Good! Than I suggest you vote off Kowalski! He clearly LOST this challenge, but we can't TAKE the chance that he might win the NEXT one if he stays! Besides, he's an intellectual threat! He might be as smart as YOU, Jenny!" Jenny says: "I highly doubt that! But, since we can't vote for you, EVEN if we wanted to, I suppose we'll play ball with you THIS time! After all, you DID get rid of all the space junk, so we ARE a little bit in your favor!" Wally says: "And Sniz?" Sniz says: "What is it, Wally?" Wally says: "I choose to stay as an intern! I want to be around Bubble Bass, and get to know him better!" Sniz says: "Sure! We could USE a new intern, now that Brittany is no longer around!" Wally says: "Awesome! I have a job, and I get to hang with MARLENE again!" Marlene says: "Well, that's one way to look at it!" Sniz says: "All right, you two! Get the campfire ready! We've got an elimination ceremony to prepare for!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Personally, I never thought that this would be the way of proving myself. But, I do feel bad about turning down Spongebob and Patrick earlier this season. This is my way of making it up to them. I'm here to show them, that I'm as willing to be as honest, and as kind as they are. And if THIS is the way that I have to do, all the better for me! It may just be the immunity talking, but I've never FELT as invincible, as I do right now! It's oddly satisfying, to be honest!" / Po says: "Bubble Bass sure has gotten bold, and COMPETENT! He went from being as competent as Theodore Seville, to now being almost as competent as me! If he didn't HAVE immunity right now, I'd eliminate him, right here and now! But, seeing as how I can't, I'll settle for eliminating Kowalski!" / Jenny says: "Bubble Bass' competence has increased FAR greater than I EVER expected to, especially under THESE new circumstances! But I'm not worried! I've STILL got a few tricks up my robotic sleeves! But for now, I'm voting off Kowalski! For him, it's all over BUT the shouting!" (End Confessional)

It's night-time, and the five contestants are sitting around the campfire, waiting for the action to go down! Sniz says: "In all honesty, I'm surprised by how the Final Five has turned out. The way I saw it, only TWO of the FIVE of you would've gotten to THIS point; the other three wouldn't have come anywhere NEAR here! With that being said, I won't reveal exactly whom I'm talking about; you'll have to figure that one out for yourself! You all know the drill; Bubble Bass has managed to win immunity, and cannot be eliminated. Everyone else, is fair game." (Confessional) Kowalski crosses off Po's card! Kowalski says: "I've got to do it! You're the biggest threat BESIDES Bubble Bass LEFT in the competition!" / Private crosses off Po's card! Private says: "Sorry, Po! It's either you or me!" / Bubble Bass crosses off Kowalski's card! Bubble Bass says: "You eliminated MY alliance partner friend FIRST! Eliminating you is laser guided karma!" / Po crosses off Kowalski's card! Po says: "THAT'S for causing Tigress to be eliminated!" / Jenny crosses off Kowalski's card! Jenny says: "Statistically speaking, this is the best move I can make!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Voting over, and if you are safe, you'll receive a safe marshmallow. If not, avoid the Anti-Fairy Marshmallow, pack your bags, and head for the Slingshot of Shame. Here's who will get the SAFE marshmallows! Bubble Bass, Private! Jenny!" Kowalski and Po look at each other nervously!

Sniz says: "A penguin, and the panda! Which one of you will be safe tonight! The votes have been cast, and now, you'll find out the results! The final safe marshmallow goes to...PO!!!! WHAT?! No Anti-Fairy Marshmallow?" Anti-Cosmo says: "General Barracuda confiscated them, and WON'T tell me where they are, unless I tell him where Anti-Poof is, which is NEVER going to happen! That fish is ALWAYS spoiling MY fun!" Private says: "NO!!!! This can't be HAPPENING!!!!" Kowalski sighs, and says: "Sorry, Private! I gave it my best shot, but I guess the TWO of us making the Final Three, simply wasn't meant to be!" Private says: "Oh, Kowalski, what will I do without you?!" Kowalski says: "Private, look at me; I KNOW you can do this! You're charming, witty, skilled, intuitive, and wiser than even YOU realize! You HAVE to win, for the BOTH of us!" Private sheds a tear, and than wipes it off. Private says: "You're right, Kowalski, I will!" And Private gives Kowalski a hug! / Kowalski is all packed up, and fitted for safety for the Slingshot of Shame! Sniz asks: "Are you ready for this?" Kowalski sighs and says: "As ready as I'll ever be. Fire away!" Sniz says: "On it!" Sniz launches the Slingshot, and Kowalski shouts: "See you at the finale, Private!" Sniz says: "And just like that, Kowalski has FINALLY been eliminated! There are only four contestants left! Bubble Bass, Private, Po, and Jenny! These four have made it past TEN contestants, and are now staring down at the Final Four! What kind of challenge will wait for them there? All I know is, it's literally anybody's game at this point! Stay tuned to see how it all goes down on the next exciting episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! No jacket required!" / Epilogue: A music video of Bubble Bass and Wally playing together is shown, all to the tune of a familiar hit song by The Beatles, called "Everybody's Got Something to Hide, Except Me And My Monkey!" / John Lennon sings: "Come on, come on, come on, come on! Come on, it's such a joy! Come on, it's such a joy! Come on, let's take it easy! Come on, let's take it easy! Take it easy, take it easy! Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey! (Ooh) The deeper you go, the higher you fly! The higher you fly, the deeper you go! So come on, come on, come on; come on, it's such a joy! Come on, it's such a joy! Come on, let's make it easy! Come on, let's take it easy! Oh, take it easy! Yeah, yeah, yeah, take it easy! Hoo! Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey, yeah! Oh! Your inside is out, when your outside is in. Your outside is in, when your inside is out. So come on, ho, come on! Ho, come on, it's such a joy. Come on, it's such a joy! Come on, let's make it easy. Come on, let's make it easy. Make it easy! Hoo! Make it easy! Hoo! Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey! Hey! Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! Come on, come on, come on! Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! Come on, come on, come on!" / And the epic song ends! /

Episode Notes: Bubble Bass and Wally inexplicably gain superpowers (the ability to create and control bubbles; and telekinesis over food respectively), and Bubble Bass wins solo immunity for the THIRD time in a row this season! Wally joins this show as an Intern! Featured songs include "Cosmic Thing; Rocket Man; You Better Run;" and "Everybody's Got Something To Hide, Except Me And My Monkey". First time that Anti-Cosmo WASN'T responsible for a problem this season! Kowalski is eliminated this episode, making Private the sole representative from "The Penguins of Madagascar", remaining. Eliminated Contestants: 14. Bessie Higgenbottom ("The Mighty B!"); 13. Rico ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"); 12. Katarra ("Avatar: The Last Airbender"); 11. Theodore Seville ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"); 10. Danny Fenton ("Danny Phantom"); 9. Fee ("Harvey Beaks"); 8. Brittany Miller ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"); 7. Johnny Krill ("Spongebob Squarepants"); 6. Tigress ("Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness"); 5. Kowalski ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"). Remaining Contestants: Bubble Bass, Jenny Wakeman, Po, and Private. /

Personal Notes: Initially, I had no real plans for this episode, other than that I needed a reason that Kowalski to be eliminated, and for Bubble Bass to wind up winning immunity, in order for Bubble Bass to NOT be eliminated yet! I had no REAL smart way to do that, so I figured; why not do something out of LEFT field, that's COMPLETELY unexpected, and come up with a STUPID reason for Bubble Bass to do that?! Giving Bubble Bass, and Wally, superpowers, through Space Gravy, was a weird way to do it; but then again, it's certainly not the WEIRDEST thing to have ever happened on Nickelodeon Nicktoons! It's just par for the course for them! Kowalski's goal this season, was to coach Private, and help him out for as long as he could. Kowalski actually lasted LONGER than I meant for him, to! He was actually supposed to be the first ONE eliminated after the team merge! But, since Johnny Krill got eliminated again, it ended up shuffling the original elimination order, and Kowalski's elimination was placed here instead. While I regret eliminating Kowalski, his elimination was necessary, in order for Private to grow and develop as a character. / I hope you enjoyed reading this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

[Jjs Goodman]

It really has been 10 years. Reposting the first two episodes of Storm Racers to celebrate the occasion...even if this may be awkward to still read ten years later.

1. The Force Assembles (Part 1)

Ah, the ocean..a truly magnificent place. We cut to the Krusty Krab, and see five teenage fish at a table.

"My name's Nathan Deeler," the protagonist, Nathan said to himself. "We're a tight gang. The brainiac over there is Zelleo, I don't know where his name came from. The goofy one is Laneld, a fish of royal descent. Over there is the tough one, Dash. Finally, we have Nora, the female of the gang. She has a kind heart, but can be rough. We've been together as long as I can remember. For some reason though, I feel there's more to us than meets the eye..."

"I still cannot get over your name, Zelleo," said Dash, laughing.

"Exactly, who names someone Zelleo?" Laneld said.

"Buzz off.." Zelleo replied. "At least appreciate my intelligence!"

"Guys, stop." Nora said. "You're acting like brats."

"She's right guys," said Nathan. "Not that you don't every single day."

"Enough of that lollygagging, now eat yer meals!" Mr. Krabs said.

"Oh yeah, that's the weird crustacean owner of the Krusty Krab," Nathan continued narrating to himself. "Bikini Bottom is a pretty weird landmark. We're all talking fish...it's pretty awkward at first, but you'll get the hang of it."

As they all continued eating their meals, a strange light began coming toward the ocean. It hit the sea floor, and smashed in a nearby desert.

"What in Neptune's name?!" yelled Mr. Krabs.

"I knew it, aliens do exist!" Patrick yelled.

"ALIENS ARE GOING TO RULE THE WORLD!" SpongeBob yelled, and customers began panicking.

"They better take you two first," Squidward laughed.

The five rushed outside the Krusty Krab as soon as possible. It landed in the Bikini Bottom desert, near an old military base.

"We should investigate that, who knows what intelligent lifeforms could be there!" Zelleo said.

"That is, if you know, aliens do exist. They're just superstition," Dash said.

"Still, it's worth a look," Zelleo said. "I could find something interesting."

"Bah, fine, but as long as whatever is there doesn't try to eat us," Laneld said.

"I never believed in the supernatural myself...but after what we saw, it would change the world forever," Nathan said to himself again, and they came to a sandy pit with a strange blue glowing spaceship.

"What is that?" asked Zelleo as he looked toward it.

"It looks like a...UFO?!" Laneld panicked.

"I don't know, but I suggest we just back away..." Nathan said.

Out of the blue glow came a creature...but it was no ordinary creature. It was an alien! She was a blue sentient of some sort.

"Don't probe me!" Laneld yelled, running away.

They all began to run for it, until the mysterious creature stopped them with a psychic wave of water.

"Stop...do not fear me, people," the mysterious person said.

"I'm scared..." Laneld said.

"Get lost alien scum!" Dash yelled, as he jumped up and tried to hit her, but she threw him aside.

"Stop! Just let me...ugh, explain myself!" The Blue Sentient said, as she collapsed to the ground.

"Who are you?" asked Nathan.

"My name is Darsun. I came from an ancient civilization known as Blue Sentients. We were an ancient race of aliens that lived on a planet named Senato. But...our entire civilization was wiped out.."

"If this is real...interesting," Zelleo said.

"So...are you done with with this bunch of nonsense, because I have better things to do!" said Laneld.

"I can assure you this is all real," she said.

"Okay, this is just odd. A ship crashes to the ocean and you come out and say all of this nonsense," said Dash.

"Guys, hold on...remember that psychic wave she launched at us?" Nathan said. "Maybe she could be alien."

"I am from this ancient civilization...I don't care if you don't believe me. My civilization was well wiped out...but..." She hesitated.

"What is it?" asked Nora.

"I can't say...but let's say since you five found me...I have a special surprise for you. I'd rather let you get used to me first."

"This is a great tradition we Sentients give to nobel people like you," she said. "You have five have a great bond between each other, I can sense it in your auras.." She explained.

"Yes, we've been friends for years," Nathan said.

"What is it? More nonsense?" asked Laneld.

Just then, the area flashed white. They appeared inside of the old military base...but it was no longer old! It was now all new, with tons of odd technology, some not known to man.

"What the?" asked Nora.

"Look at your suits," she said.

"Sweet Neptune...these are awesome!" said Dash as he gripped his yellow suit.

They were all given unique ranger like outfits, with spacial equipment. Nathan had a red suit, Zelleo had blue, Dash had yellow, Nora had green, and Laneld had purple.

"I am still confused," said Nathan. "What did you do to the old military base?"

"Well, I simply used some of my magic to rev this place up!" Darsun said. "We need a base."

"I heard this base belonged to an oceanic government agency, but it hasn't been used in so long, so I doubt we'll be noticed," Nora said.

"Well, whatever is going on, I like it," Dash said.

"Okay, I believe that you are from an ancient civilization," said Laneld as he gripped his suit.

"Well, you'll see," Darsun said.

Laneld fainted as Dash and Zelleo grabbed him.

"You see....you are now a part of a group of five who protects their land. This tradition originated from my civilization. We were trained to fight enemies and stop evil doers from the galaxy the planet Senato was in, and our Blue Sentients were based off of water," she said. "What would you like to name yourselves?"

"How about the Undersea Force?" Laneld suggested.

"That has a nice rhyme to it," Nora said.

"Awesome, except there isn't much crime in Bikini Bottom," said Nathan.

"Think again," she said. "The crime you may face is..far-out at best."

"What crime is there?" asked Nathan.

"Well....let's say some people might be after me, but it is best if you not know who just yet, I don't want to cram everything down your throats," Darsun replied. "I come from a powerful planet..or once powerful planet anyways, filled with dangers that are after me."

"Hold on, I am still writing notes of all of this," said Nora.

She showed them to their rooms. They all went in them, touring around the base.

"Wow, this happened all so quickly. But why choose us?" asked Zelleo.

"It's a gift she said," Nora said. "We're special."

Darsun said," Be prepared, tomorrow we start our first drill."

They went into their rooms, chatting about how exciting it was to be on this team.

Darsun then knew she had to restore peace and find answers. How could she train these five? Would they be fit for this? She had to restore her civilization, but would these five be the key?

To Be Continued...

Notes/Trivia/Goofs

Area Debuts: Undersea Force Base, Bikini Bottom Desert

Character Debuts: Darsun, Nathan, Zelleo, Dash, Nora and Laneld

2. The Force Assembles (Part 2)

The episode opens to the Chum Bucket, with Plankton working on something.

"Finally! My new robots are complete!" Plankton said. He turned the switch on. Unlike my old ones, these will be better and badder than ever!"

Plankton had tons of weird robots lined up everywhere, and we see one particular robot, its name was Cymtrax. Crymtrax had blue eyes and blue energy around him, a steel head and was more unique than any other robot there.

"I also have henchmen for you too, lovely robot!" said Plankton as he revealed he had constructed an army of thousands of robots.

"And why was I never told about any of this, Plankton?" asked Karen, annoyed when she saw the robots.

"I had been secretly working on these for a few days, I found them in the Bikini Bottom dump, scattered everywhere. They will not only invade the Krusty Krab, but the whole ocean!" said Plankton.

"You found them in a dump? Gross," Karen said.

"I dunno how they got there, they aren't like any robots I've ever seen before, but whatever can help me rule the world can do!" Plankton laughed.

The robots had different designs such as...

There was Cymtrax, the head leader of the "Rark" as we would call the robot gang.

Then there was Krumb, a dumb-witted assistant of Cymtrax who was big and had a drill like hand.

There were normal Blue Rark, such as ones with wings, lasers on their shoulders. They didn't have Admiral like base plates on them unlike Cymtrax and Krumb, which is how you can tell the difference.

All the robots began to turn on, and they began to tear up the Chum Bucket.

"FINALLY RESTORED!" Cymtrax yelled. "But where are we? This seems like a holding cell..."

"Free at least!" Krumb yelled.

The robots began to wreck havoc throughout the Chum Bucket.

"HEY...OBEY ME!" Plankton yelled, but the Rark stepped on him.

"Fool, this is my army!" Cymtrax laughed at him. "You will not keep us captive anymore. Now I can get revenge on Darsun for doing this to us, and preventing my goals!"

"Note to self: Never trust robots you picked out of the garbage," said Plankton before he was stepped on again by a Rark grunt.

"PLANNKTON!" Karen yelled, as she was smashed to the ground.

"Alright my army, we can finally do whatever we want!" said Cymtrax. The robots cheered. "It's time to revive our empire and Senato. But first, let's explore this setting.."

The Blue Rarks escaped the Chum Bucket off into their vehicles that they made appear by pressing their chest plates, Krumb had a drill vehicle of some sort and Cymtrax had a larger limo version of the grunt vehicles. They began to flee into Bikini Bottom, but Cymtax blasted a laser at the Chum Bucket as they drove off, and left it in ruins.

We then cut to the Undersea Force Base.

"So miss Darsun, why did you pick us?" asked Nathan. "It can't be just because we were the first people you saw."

"That is true. You see...you five are the chosen ones," she said.

Laneld fainted again.

"I knew I was special, but I didn't think I'd be that special," Dash said.

"Care to elaborate?" Zelleo asked, completely confused.

"An ancient prophecy on my planet before the civilization stated that one day, 5 Sentients would become a part of the Blue Sentient 5. A member of passion (Nora), a noble leader (Nathan), a stubborn but cooperative member (Laneld), a member with strength (Dash) and one with strength and intelligence (Zelleo). Together, the five formed the Blue Sentient 5. They were took down once my civilization collapsed though.."

"Holy smokes, this is interesting. So, we are all chosen ones?" said Nathan.

"I guess so. You five resembled them in an image in my mind," she said. "I just feel you are the ones that can save me."

"So, a question for you: Why aren't you freaked out by us being fish?" Dash asked.

"I guess I've seen so many strange things in my galaxy, that talking fish are not a surprise, haha," Darsun said. "A better question for you all is: Why aren't you scared of me?"

"Well...that's a good question. I guess you just speak to us," Nathan said.

"How can you breath underwater?" Zelleo asked.

"Well, Blue Sentients represent water, so I can inhabit the settings of this ocean to fit in," Darsun said. "It's more complicated that it looks. It requires lots of magic."

"What was the planet you came from again? Senate or something?" asked Nora.

"The planet is a barren wasteland now, but it was called Sentato. This planet is far beyond your galaxy. It was peaceful until two powerful groups took over, one of which is destroyed now," Darsun explained.

"Who were they?" Dash asked.

Just then, the radar went off.

"We'll discuss later," Darsun said.

"ATTENTION UNDERSEA FORCE: STRANGE GROUP OF UNIDENTIFIED ROBOTS FOUND AT BIKINI BOTTOM DOWNTOWN ALLEY WRECKING HAVOC," it said.

"This is your first mission! Good luck!" she said. They all got into their boats raised on stages. There were five pathways. They each got into their own and went off.

They came out of the bunker and were driving off throughout the desert into Bikini Bottom.

"Woo hoo hoo!" said Dash as he performed stunts on his fast bike. He then turned it into a spinning blade.

"Awesome! This is so cool! I don't even have my boating license yet!" he said.

"Don't get too overconfident," Nora said.

They raced into the streets, and fish gazed at them.

Laneld looked at his radio scanner and said, "We're here."

Each boat drove through the huge alley way one at a time. They came to a dead end.

"Okay, this has to be a glitch..." Laneld said.

"Maybe it's busted?" asked Zelleo.

"No, Darsun would have said something!" he said.

"Strange fish creatures detected..." said a voice.

"What the?" asked Nora.

Just then, a Rark hopped down and transformed into his robot car.

"Organic specimens, halt in the name of the Rark," the robot said.

"Robots that can talk and transform into cars? Now I've seen everything!" said Nathan. "Move in!"

Laneld fired a purple sound blast from sides of the front of his boat.

"Awesome!" he said as it destroyed the robot into a thousand pieces.

"RE-REBOOTI-ING..."

Nathan got out and smashed its head.

"Wait...didn't it say there was more?" he said.

Just then, more Rarks came down.

"SURRENDER ORGANIC FISH WARRIORS!" said the bots. Nathan then kicked on in the stomach and punched the other one. Dash came by and sliced them in half.

"KEEP IT DOWN YOU FELLOWS!" said an old fish from the top of the apartment.

A couple of more robots came down from the roof and attacked with laser guns and swords.

Zelleo then began to run them over with his boat. Nathan revealed his engine was a chainsaw and it sliced through some of the Blue Rarks.

"Excellent work guys!" said Nathan. "Is that all you guys got?" asked Nathan.

"RETREAT!" yelled Krumb. Remaining robots on the roof transformed into their robot cars and raced off of it and into the streets and away.

"Well, that takes care of that," said Dash. "Who were they anyways?"

"I think that one we first saw said to "halt in the name of the Rark"," said Nora.

"We should report this back to Darsun," said Nathan. They raced back to the base one by one.

"So...there was a robot gang named the Rark?" asked Darsun, with a small surprise on her face.

"It seems so. They had this big commander guy with drill like hands," said Nathan.

"Hmm...I will do a full investigation. I have been sensing mysterious things going around the ocean lately. Get some good night sleep, because I will introduce something out of this world, as I would say, tomorrow..." she said. "Also, great work."

"Can't wait!" said Dash.

They all went to bed, and we see Darsun uploading files to a computer of Sentient data.

"I can't believe it, they're back..." Darsun said to herself. "But for now, I need to rest, I've been through too much."

Meanwhile, we see Cymtrax with Krumb and two other robots behind the destroyed Chum Bucket.

"The organics were too powerful..." said Krumb. "They seemed to be using Sentient technology...what if Darsun is back, sir?"

"It can't be...no matter. This is just the beginning," Cymtrax said.

"What is our next objective?" asked a Rark grunt.

"It is too soon to attack...let's retreat back to Senato for now," Cymtrax said. "There we will plot our next move...I will not let more people get in the way of our goals. Senato will rise again."

"Yes sir!" The Blue Rark grunts all said, as they headed out through Bikini Bottom, and entered a strange portal.

Notes/Trivia/Goofs

Character Debuts: Blue Rark, Cymtrax and Krumb.

[JCM]

Here is the first part of the Silly Adventures finale to get you up to speed before I post the second part this week:

(We begin in Patchy's house in Encino, California.)

Patchy: Hi, kids! It's me, Patchy the Pirate, president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club! I can't wait to show you all of the Mermaid Man figurines I've collected today!

(Patchy looks both ways.)

Patchy: Potty! What did you do with my Mermaid Man figurines!

(Potty flies onscreen.)

Potty: Squawk! I don't know what happened to your toys!

Patchy: They're not toys! They're action figures! And I told you to look over them!

Potty: You never do anything for me!

Patchy: Potty, I don't have time for this!

Potty: Squawk! I want to break up!

(Potty flies into Patchy's room then flies back out with a treasure chest.)

Potty: This is my half!

Patchy: Get your filthy talons off my booty! (to audience) Hey, that reminds me of the time SpongeBob and the gang stopped Thanos from wiping out half of all life in the universe! Want to hear the story?

Kids: No!

Patchy: Well, you're going to hear it, anyway! (muttering) Ungrateful brats.

(We are now in King Neptune's castle. Neptune is sitting on his throne with his squire standing beside him.)

King Neptune: Squire, I haven't had a prisoner presented to me all day. Don't tell me we're getting soft on crime.

Squire: I apologize, King Neptune. I'll have someone arrested right away.

(As the squire leaves the castle, he sees a spaceship land in front of him.)

Squire: Oh, Neptune. I've got to tell Neptune!

(The squire runs back to Neptune's throne.)

Neptune: Why haven't you brought me a prisoner?

Squire: A strange ship has landed in front of the castle!

Neptune: Did you see who was in it?

Squire: Well, no. I...

Neptune: (scoffs) What do I even not pay you for?

(Suddenly, the sounds of fish screaming fill the palace.)

Squire: That...that sounds like the guards!

(Neptune grabs his trident.)

Neptune: Whoever has breached my castle won't be coming out alive!

(Thanos walks into the room with an infinity gauntlet covering one hand and blood covering the other.)

Thanos: Won't I?

(Neptune blasts Thanos with his trident. Thanos easily avoids the blast and uses the power stone in his infinity gauntlet to weaken Neptune.)

Neptune: What...what have you done?

(Neptune drops the trident, no longer strong enough to hold it.)

Squire: You...you're not going to kill me, right?

Thanos: No, I've already killed half of the people here.

Squire: I'll take it!

(The squire leaves the palace.)

Neptune: Traitor!

(Thanos approaches Neptune.)

Neptune: What do you want?

Thanos: Your trident.

(Thanos picks up the trident Neptune dropped and snaps it in two, retrieving the space stone from it.)

Neptune: No!

(As Thanos adds the space stone to his gauntlet, a familiar face enters the room.)

Neptune: Mindy?

(Mindy, no longer wearing glasses or a bow and now wearing a black catsuit that starts at her neck and covers her tail, swims beside Thanos.)

Thanos: Oh, have you met my right-hand woman?

Mindy: I go by The Black Widow now, father.

Neptune: Why would you associate yourself with this...monster? Is this your idea of a teenage rebellion?

Mindy:  You may think this is suffering, father, but no. It is salvation. Because of the sacrifice your guards have made, the universal scales tip toward balance.

Neptune: My guards? Those were our guards. You...you've known them since childhood.

Thanos: As touching as this reunion is, we must get going.

Neptune: First you kill my guards, then you destroy my trident, and now I find out you've corrupted my daughter. You have no idea who you're dealing with!

(Neptune overcomes the power stone's weakening and runs towards Thanos from behind.)

Neptune: I am a GOD!

(Thanos turns around and punches Neptune, sending him across the room. Neptune lands so hard on his throne that he destroys the throne, injuring himself in the process.)

Thanos: Puny god.

(A week later, fish in black suits and sunglasses walk into Shady Shoals Rest Home.)

Receptionist: Who are you?

(One of the fish reveal a badge.)

Fish: We work for the Pacific Government. We're here to bring Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy back into our custody.

(Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy get into a black van with the fish.)

Barnacle Boy: Who are you two?

Fish: We work for a secret government agency that has been tracking your exploits for decades: S.H.E.L.L.

Mermaid Man: Shell? Like the gas station?

Fish: S.H.E.L.L. is short for the Strategic Headquarters for the Extermination of Lawless Lemons. We were created in the early 1940s as a response to all of the super-powered humans showing up underwater, some with noble goals like you two but others with more...nefarious goals.

Barnacle Boy: So, what do you want with us now?

Fish: Neptune, king of the Seven Seas, was attacked by an extraterrestrial being last week. He told us that this being, Thanos, is more powerful than any he had ever encountered before. He'll need a super squad to take him down, and that's why we're re-assembling the greatest super squad this world has ever known.

Barnacle Boy: The International Justice League of Super Acquaintances? No, we're much too old for that.

Fish: Don't worry. S.H.E.L.L. has a fix.

(Hours later, Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy, and the S.H.E.L.L. agents walk into a government facility, where older versions of The Quickster, Elastic Waistband, Captain Magma, and Miss Appear are already waiting in the lobby.)

Captain Magma: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! Late at usual!

Barnacle Boy: Captain Magma. Hotheaded as usual.

Mermaid Man: (nervous) Hi, Miss Appear.

Miss Appear: (chuckles) After everything we've been through, you can move past the formalities, Ernie.

Mermaid Man: We're still riding that invisible boatmobile you got us. Still runs great.

Miss Appear: (nods) That's good to hear.

(The superheroes hear the elevator ding, and a gold-colored man wearing a hairnet over his head walks out.)

Barnacle Boy: (gasps) Pi-Right?

The Quickster: I thought you died!

Pi-Right Ponderer: Officially, I am dead. Unofficially, I've been working for S.H.E.L.L. this whole time.

Elastic Waistband: You haven't aged a bit.

Pi-Right Ponderer: Oh, I have aged! But I was able to bring myself back to my physical prime using an invention I completed just last month, and based on recent events, the timing couldn't have been better!

(The superheroes join Pi-Right Ponderer on an elevator.)

Pi-Right Ponderer: Brace yourselves. This will be a bumpy ride.

(The elevator quickly drops to the bottom floor, disturbing the older people on the elevator.)

Captain Magma: What are you trying to do, kill us?

The Quickster: I haven't gone that fast in over 30 years!

Pi-Right Ponderer: Sorry about that, but it will all be worth it soon.

(Pi-Right Ponderer leads the heroes to a large machine.)

Pi-Right Ponderer: Here it is, my De-Aging Booth! You just walk inside it, and after I enter a few commands, it will restore your body to its peak condition!

Barnacle Boy: So, I get to be a hunk again? Out of the way!

(Barnacle Boy runs into the machine, and after Pi-Right Ponderer pushes some button on it, steam comes out, and the door opens up to reveal a younger-looking Barnacle Boy inside of it.)

Barnacle Boy: My back...my knees...they aren't sore anymore! (flexes) I feel like a million bucks!

(The rest of the superheroes go into the machine, and all of them come out looking younger.)

Elastic Waistband: Alright, where's this Thanos fellow? I can't wait to kick his butt!

Pi-Right Ponderer: Unfortunately, the seven of us might not be enough. With the power stone, Thanos was already the most powerful creature on the planet. With the space stone...we'll need more heroes.

Miss Appear: Where are we supposed to find more heroes on such short notice?

Pi-Right Ponderer: Your adventures have inspired many over the last several decades. I believe I've found a way to get in touch with them.

(The next morning, SpongeBob bangs on Patrick's rock. The rock opens with Patrick stuck to it, and he yawns.)

Patrick: What's going on?

SpongeBob: Did you read the latest Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy newsletter?

Patrick: You know I can't read!

SpongeBob: Sorry, I forgot. Anyway, the IJLSA just sent out a call for heroes! Apparently, something big is threatening Earth, and they'll need all the help they can get to stop it!

Patrick: What does that have to do with me?

SpongeBob: I think it's time to bring Patrick-Man out of retirement!

Patrick: Who's Patrick-Man?

SpongeBob: You know, your superhero identity!

(SpongeBob reveals an empty ice cream cone.)

SpongeBob: He had this as a hat!

Patrick: Oh...Patrick-Man! I still don't remember. Was that season 9a or 9b?

SpongeBob: (sighs) Maybe Sandy can help.

(SpongeBob and Patrick walk into Sandy's treedome.)

Sandy: Howdy!

SpongeBob: Hi, Sandy. 

Sandy: What brings y'all here?

SpongeBob: I wanted to see if you had something that could help Patrick jog his memory about Patrick-Man.

Sandy: Patrick-Man?

SpongeBob: That's what Patrick called himself when he turned into a superhero.

(SpongeBob gives Sandy the ice cream cone.)

SpongeBob: He wore this on his head.

Sandy: Sounds like Patrick.

SpongeBob: We need Patrick-Man back, because there's something really evil out there, and Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy can't defeat it alone!

Sandy: Y'all don't worry yourselves none! I'll be back in a jiff!

(SpongeBob and Patrick are now asleep in the middle of the treedome. Sandy comes out of her tree with a metal cone.)

Sandy: It's done!

(SpongeBob and Patrick wake up, startled.)

Sandy: Just put this on your buddy's head, and you'll have your superhero!

(Sandy gives SpongeBob the metal cone, and he puts it on Patrick's head.)

SpongeBob: Do you remember now?

Patrick: Yes. I remember...everything. And that's not all I can do!

(Suddenly, the cone expands to cover Patrick's entire body with metal.)

SpongeBob: Wow, you're like an iron man!

(Suddenly, a pair of Disney lawyers appear.)

Patrick: I'll stick with Patrick-Man.

(The Disney lawyers disappear.)

Patrick: Look at what else I can do!

(The bottom of Patrick's feet turn into rockets, and he flies around the treedome.)

SpongeBob: How is he doing this?

Sandy: The helmet I made for Patrick takes advantage of the parts of his brain he isn't using. There's even more of it than I thought!

(Patrick lands beside SpongeBob, and his suit contracts back into a helmet.)

Patrick: I'm ready to save the word!

(SpongeBob and Patrick leave the treedome.)

SpongeBob: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy said to meet them at the Bikini Bottom Convention Hall. That's where all the heroes will be.

Patrick: You coming with?

SpongeBob: I wish, but I've got to go to work.

Patrick: I'll tell you how it goes!

(After SpongeBob and Patrick go their separate ways, Patrick sees a building on fire. Fish hurry out of the building, but one woman stops.)

Woman: Oh, no! I left Harry in there!

(A worm sticks its head out of a window and pants.)

Woman: Somebody help!

Patrick: She could really use a superhero. (pauses) Wait! I'm a superhero!

(Just as Patrick is about to spring into action, he notices a giant urchin crawling into the room the woman is in. A few seconds later, the urchin, which is actually a boy dressed as an urchin, jumps out of the building with the worm.)

Woman: Thank you so much!

Boy: No problem!

(The boy gives the woman her worm, and she pets it.)

Woman: Say...aren't you a little too young to be rescuing animals from burning buildings?

 Boy: Yes. Yes I am.

Woman: What do I call you?

Boy: Call me...Urchin Man!

Patrick: Urchin Man?

(As Urchin Man walks off, Patrick follows him.)

Patrick: Hey, are you a superhero?

Urchin Man: I guess you could call me that.

Patrick: That's great! Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy just sent out a call for superheroes! We're all meeting at the Bikini Bottom Convention Hall!

Urchin Man: (checks watch) I have class in five minutes...but I guess I can skip if it's really important.

Patrick: It is! We're fighting something horrible! Like, a wedgie you can't get rid of no matter how hard you pull it down horrible!

Urchin Man: (laughs) Hey, what's your superpower?

Patrick: I can show you!

(Patrick's helmet expands to cover his body in metal again.)

Patrick: Hop on!

Urchin Man: Hop on what?

Patrick: On me, silly!

(Urchin Man climbs onto Patrick's back, and Patrick generates rockets under his feet again, shooting himself and Urchin Man into the sky.)

Urchin Man: Wow!

Patrick: To the Convention Hall!

(Patrick flies to the Bikini Bottom Convention Hall with Urchin Man on his back. When they walk inside, they find dozens of other fish dressed like superheroes around them.)

Urchin Man: I didn't know there were this many of us.

Patrick: Look! It's the IJLSA!

(Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy, The Quickster, Elastic Waistband, Captain Magma, Miss Appear, and Pi-Right Ponderer walk onto the stage.)

Urchin Man: They look just like they do in the show. How is that possible? The show is over 50 years old now.

Patrick: They must use really good skin cream.

Pi-Right Ponderer: Thanks to all of you for coming here today! I'm sure you have many questions, but for now, I would like to focus on what we're going up against.

(A poster of Thanos unravels behind the heroes on the stage.)

Pi-Right Ponderer: Thanos, known by many as the Mad Titan, is a genocidal warlord from another planet who is currently on a quest to collect ancient artifacts known as Infinity Stones. It is said that when all six Infinity Stones that exist are collected, you will have the power to do anything you want throughout all of time and space.

(Another poster showing the Infinity Stones unravels behind the heroes.)

Pi-Right Ponderer: I believe that once he has all of the Infinity Stones, he will use their power to destroy half of all life in the universe!

(Everybody in the crowd gasps.)

Pi-Right Ponderer: The reality stone and soul stone are on different planets, but the time stone is in my possession, and the mind stone has been entrusted to a close ally. Thanos will be back, and we'll all need to be prepared to fight him. Many of you won't survive...

Fish 1: Wait, what was that?

Fish 2: Nobody said anything about dying!

Fish 3: I just wanted Mermaid Man's autograph.

Pi-Right Ponderer: Just wait a minute!

(The fish in the crowd start loudly complaining.)

Pi-Right Ponderer: If you aren't ready to lose your life for this mission, you can get out right now!

(All of the costumed fish except Urchin Man and Patrick leave the building.)

Pi-Right Ponderer: Well...that didn't go as I expected.

Mermaid Man: Who are you two?

Urchin Man: I...I'm Urchin Man.

Patrick: And I'm Patrick-Man!

Mermaid Man: Welcome to the IJLSA, Urchin Man and Patrick-Man!

(On the planet of Vormir, Thanos and Mindy walk of out of their spaceship.)

Thanos: The soul stone is here. I feel it.

Mindy: Did you have to kill all of those creatures to get the reality stone from Knowhere? They weren't putting up a lot of resistance, and that talking racoon was actually pretty cute.

Thanos: Remember what we're here for.

(Thanos takes a knife out and balances it on his finger.)

Thanos: Perfectly balanced. As all things should be.

Mindy: That magic trick was a lot more impressive when you didn't have a reality-altering stone on your knuckles.

Thanos: (laughs) This will all be over soon. And we will rule the universe as its saviors.

(Thanos and Mindy approach Man Ray at the top of a mountain.)

Man Ray: (to the audience) Yeah, I'm dead. Get over it.

Thanos: Who are you?

Man Ray: My name is Man Ray. In one final, desperate attempt to take over the seas, I tried to ambush King Neptune's castle, just like you did. However, I wasn't successful. Neptune killed me with his trident, and instead of sending me to the Great Beyond, the space stone sent me here to be the guardian of what I believe you're looking for: the soul stone.

Thanos: How do I get it?

Man Ray: The soul stone isn't something you just "get". It requires a soul. The soul of the person you love most. Once that person is sacrificed, you shall have the stone.

(Thanos thinks about what Man Ray said for a long time. He then turns to Mindy.)

Mindy: Well, it looks like we'll have to find some other way to balance the universe! Bye, creep with the weird mask!

(Mindy starts to walk away, but Thanos grabs her.)

Thanos: I'm sorry, Mindy, but I've come too far to abandon my quest now.

Mindy: But...you said we were going to rule the universe together.

Thanos: And I believed we would, but it seems...that can no longer happen.

(Thanos picks Mindy up.)

Mindy: No! Please don't do this! There must be another way!

Thanos: (crying) There isn't.

(Thanos throws Mindy off the mountain, and a few seconds later, the soul stone appears in his hand.)

Man Ray: I am...free.

(Man Ray floats into the Great Beyond as Thanos adds the space stone to his gauntlet.)

Thanos: Only two more to go, and I know exactly where they are.

(Back in Bikini Bottom, SpongeBob is cooking patties in the Krusty Krab when he feels the ground shake.)

SpongeBob: What's happening?

(SpongeBob runs out of the Krusty Krab to find Squidward and Mr. Krabs looking up with their mouths agape. SpongeBob sees Plankton, now so massive that his antennae touch the sky, looking down at them.)

Plankton: This is your last chance, Krabs! Give me the Krabby Patty secret formula or I'll crush you under my feet!

Mr. Krabs: Never!

Plankton: Okay! Don't say I didn't warn you!

SpongeBob: Plankton, don't!

(As Plankton raises a leg, he sees a spaceship crash in the distance.)

Plankton: No...it can't be happening so soon.

Mr. Krabs: What's happening?

(Thanos appears in front of the Chum Bucket.)

Squidward: Where did he come from?

Plankton: Stop, Thanos! I know what you're here for!

Thanos: Ah, Plankton. You're...bigger than I remember.

Plankton: That's thanks to my newest invention! And if you do put a hand on my computer wife, I'll crush you like I'm about to crush my enemy!

Thanos: I'll risk it.

(Plankton runs towards Thanos, and Thanos raises a hand, causing Plankton to stop, slip, and fall backwards. Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and SpongeBob get out of the way as Plankton lands, leaving a large dent in the middle of the street.)

Plankton: I have to call Pi-Right.

(Plankton returns to his smaller form and takes out his cell phone.)

SpongeBob: Wait, Pi-Right? You know Pi-Right Ponderer?

Plankton: Yeah, he was a professor at the college I went to. We did some research together. As thanks, he gave me this thing called a mind stone, and I used it to create Karen.

(Plankton runs to the Chum Bucket with the cell phone to his ear.)

Plankton: Pi-RIght! Thanos is about to get the stone from Karen! No, it's too late to send help. Just make sure you protect yours no matter what!

(Plankton enters the Chum Bucket to find Thanos holding Karen by her stand.)

Thanos: Oh, hi! You're just in time to see the fireworks!

Plankton: Don't!

Karen: Plankton, I love y-

(Thanos smashes Karen's monitor and pulls out the mind stone before throwing her to the side.)

Plankton: You're not going to win.

(Thanos adds the mind stone to his gauntlet.)

Thanos: I know what it's like to lose somebody you love. Soon, many more people will know that feeling.

(Thanos disappears.)

Plankton: He isn't going to win.

(Plankton stares at what remains of Karen.)

Plankton: He can't.

(In front of the Bikini Bottom Convention Hall, Patrick and Urchin-Man are eating nachos as the rest of the IJLSA are by their boatmobiles talking.)

Captain Magma: What do we do? If Thanos already has five infinity stones, there's no way we stop him!

Elastic Waistband: We may need...him.

Captain Magma: No! There's no way! It's out of the question!

The Quickster: Let's face it, Cap. A guy who shoots lava out of his head won't be enough. Not for this coming battle.

Captain Magma: I...I can't control him.

Miss Appear: What do you think, Pi-Right?

Pi-Right Ponderer: (sighs) We'll see. But for now, we have one more reinforcement coming.

(King Neptune pulls up in his chariot.)

King Neptune: What is this? Where's my army?

Mermaid Man: We have two more over there.

(Mermaid Man points to Patrick and Urchin-Man, who wave with cheese-covered hands.)

Neptune: We're going to die.

(Thanos appears beside Patrick.)

Patrick: How's it going, magic purple man? Want a nacho?

Urchin Man: Mr. Star, I think that's the evil dude trying to kill everyone!

Patrick: Really? (to Thanos) No nacho for you!

(Neptune jumps out of his chariot.)

Neptune: Where is my daughter, Thanos?

Thanos: She died. I had to sacrifice her for the soul stone.

(Neptune covers his face and grabs his chariot to keep his balance as he sobs at the news.)

Thanos: If it matters to you at all, I did love her.

(Pi-Right Ponderer turns to Captain Magma.)

Pi-Right Ponderer: Okay. Do it. Bring him out.

Captain Magma: You sure?

Pi-Right Ponderer: I'll find some way to explain it to S.H.E.L.L.

(Captain Magma closes his eyes, and then he transforms into a huge, fiery monster.)

Urchin Man: What is that thing?

Patrick: I've never seen that in the show before!

Barnacle Boy: It's...Krakatoa.

(Krakatoa runs to Thanos, roaring and shooting magma everywhere. Thanos raises a hand, which causes Krakatoa to stop for a moment and shake his head before charging at Thanos again.)

Thanos: What?

(Krakatoa punches Thanos with all his might. Patrick and Urchin-Man get out of the way as Thanos flies into the convention hall.)

Pi-Right Ponderer: Now! Focus on nothing else but retrieving the infinity gauntlet!

(The Quickster speeds into the hole Thanos left in the convention hall, finding Thanos on the ground unconscious.)

The Quickster: Bingo.

(The Quickster tries to pull the infinity gauntlet off Thanos' hand.)

The Quickster: It's on pretty tight! I'll need help!

(Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy swim into the convention hall, while Elastic Waistband stretches himself inside. They help The Quickster pull at the infinity gauntlet, and it finally starts to move.)

Elastic Waistband: We're making headway!

(Thanos wakes up, and he immediately tightens the infinity gauntlet to his hand again and sends Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy, The Quickster, and Elastic Waistband flying out of the convention hall.)

Thanos: I tried to do this diplomatically...

(Thanos climbs out of the convention hall, and he grabs Patrick by his neck.)

Urchin Man: No! Leave Mr. Star alone!

(Urchin Man jumps onto Thanos' face, and Thanos pulls him off and throws him into a pole. Urchin Man uses his sticky fingers to latch into the pole.)

Urchin Man: Please! Stop! You'll kill him.

Thanos: That's the plan. Unless Pi-Right Ponderer removes that mental cloud he's formed over the time stone, his newest friend will die, and I'll kill everybody else in the IJLSA until I get what I want.

Pi-Right Ponderer: (sighs) Stop.

(Pi-Right Ponderer opens a hand to reveal the time stone inside of it.)

Pi-Right Ponderer: Here it is. The final piece to your puzzle. Now let the starfish go.

(Thanos drops Patrick and takes the time stone from Pi-Right Ponderer.)

Mermaid Man: What have you done?

(Pi-Right Ponderer walks to Patrick and helps him up.)

Pi-Right Ponderer: We're in the Endgame now.

(Krakatoa runs to Thanos again, but Thanos easily avoids him as he adds the time stone to his gauntlet. The Quickster runs at him now, and Thanos uses the time stone to slow him down.)

The Quickster: How...fast...do...you...think...this...will...go?

Thanos: (snaps fingers) Just like that.

(The Quickster's speed returns to normal, and he turns to dust before he reaches Thanos.)

Miss Appear: The Quickster!

(Miss Appear disappears. Urchin Man is with Patrick again, and he drops to his knees.)

Urchin Man: Mr. Star? I don't feel so good...

Patrick: It's probably those convention hall nachos. They wreak havoc on your insides.

(Urchin Man vomits.)

Patrick: Better?

Urchin Man: Better.

(Urchin Man fades to dust.)

Patrick: I don't remember nachos doing that!

(People disappear all around Bikini Bottom. In the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs comes out of the office just as half his customers turn to dust.)

Mr. Krabs: Me money!

(Squidward turns to dust.)

Mr. Krabs: Me cashier!

(Thanos is now inside of the Soul Stone. Mindy, who now looks like Mindy in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie again, swims up to him.)

Mindy: Did you do it?

Thanos: Yes.

Mindy: What did it cost?

Thanos: Hundreds of thousands of dollars of royalties.

(The Disney lawyers are back now and laughing as they hold fistfuls of cash.)

Thanos: Vultures.

(To Be Concluded)

[Jjs Goodman]

In honor of Skodwarde's 10th birthday yesterday, here's a rerun of the first episode:

Episode 1. Help Wanted/Reef Blower/Tea at the Treedome

Spongebob wakes up early to get himself a job at the Krusty Krab. Skodwarde finds and summons anchovies to ruin his job interview. After Spongebob foils his plan to the tunes of Tiny Tim, Skodwarde flings Krabby Patties at Patrick with his god powers before finishing his shift and listens to Tiny Tim records at home.

Skodwarde woke up one day to find a shell causing a blemish on once flawless lawn, so he used his god powers to fling it onto Spongebob's perfect lawn. Spongebob takes notice of it and whips out his trusty reef blower to get rid of it. After some nautical nonsense involving god powers and reef blowers, Skodwarde uses his god powers to suck out the water dry. He puts it back after finding out he needs water then goes back inside to listen to more Tiny Tim records.

Skodwarde is lurking around Bikini Bottom one day when he finds a strange creature he has never seen before. Looking to cleanse Bikini Bottom, Skodwarde summons a giant clam to dispose of her. His plans are foiled when Spongebob intervenes. Sandy invites Spongebob over to her treehouse. Skodwarde arrives to stir shit up but is thwarted yet again. He heads back to his tiki to play some Rock Band.

[4EverGreen]

To stall for time--I mean, satisfy your appetites until I can finish writing the "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back" episode I'm working on, here is a re-run of my most recently completed episode! Enjoy! /

Sniz is standing in front of a forest, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, it was space challenge day for our contestants. First, they had to get ready for space training, before they could fly flying saucers with their selected pilots. One of them, Admiral Wally, his Smartness, was for some reason, transporting some Space Gravy, which ended up giving both Bubble Bass and Wally, superpowers! Bubble Bass used his new superpower, to create bubbles, to blow away some space junk, AND, blow away the competition, managing to snag ANOTHER win, and he did it all, while ONLY wearing bubbles! If that's not amazing, I don't know WHAT is! At the elimination ceremony, Kowalski got the boot, while Wally, decided to stay on as an intern, in order to be with Bubble Bass. Now there are only four contestants left. We're down to the Final Four! It's neck and neck between Po, Jenny, Bubble Bass, and inexplicably, Private! Which one of these contestants has what it takes to win the upcoming challenge, and who will be the next one voted off?! It's anyone's game as we're heading on down to the wire, on the latest episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! It's going to be WILD!" / Instead of the normal show open, a montage of scenes, showing ALL the animal contestants from the past four seasons, is being played, at their best moments, while The Rolling Stones 1978 hit song, "Beast of Burden," is played over the montage. / Mick Jagger sings: "I'll never be your beast of burden. My back is broad, but it's a hurting, All I want is for you to make love to me. I'll never be your beast of burden. I've walked for miles, my feet are hurting. All I want is for you to make love to me. Am I hard enough? Am I rough enough? Am I rich enough? I'm not too blind to see. I'll never be your beast of burden. So let's go home and draw the curtains. Music on the radio; come on baby, make sweet love to me. Am I hard enough? Am I rough enough? Am I rich enough? I'm not too blind to see! Oh, little sister! (Instrumental Solo) Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, girl. You're a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty girl. Pretty, pretty; such a pretty, pretty, pretty girl. Come on baby please, please, please! I'll tell ya; you can put me out, on the street! Put me out with no shoes on my feet! But, put me out, put me out, put me out of misery! Yeah, all your sickness, I can suck it up! Throw it all at me, I can shrug it off! There's one thing baby, that I don't understand; you keep on telling me I ain't your kind of man. Ain't I rough enough? Ooh, baby, ain't I tough enough? Ain't I rich enough, in love enough? Ooh! Ooh! Please! I'll never be your beast of burden. I'll never be your beast of burden. Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be. I'll never be your beast of burden. I've walked for miles, and my feet are hurting. All I want is you to make love to me. I don't need no beast of burden. I need no fussing, I need no nursing. Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be!" / And the epic song ends! /

"Beasts Of Burden" / The show opens up proper on the hotel suite room, in which Bubble Bass is staying. It is early morning, and Bubble Bass is still dreaming. Thanks to the Anti-Fairy magic of Anti-Cosmo, we get to see WHAT Bubble Bass is dreaming. In it, Bubble Bass is staring in awe at the sky, as the jewels he has collected from the beginning of the season, rain down around him, and he makes an angel shape, out of the jewels that has surrounded him. Suddenly, a familiar voice, and woman, namely Blonda, enters his dream! Blonda says: "Bubble Bass, are we enjoying our dream?" Bubble Bass says: "I sure am! (Beat) Wait, what do you mean, OUR dream?!" Blonda says: "I STILL have the ability to use magic, you know! Lest you forget that important fact. I may STILL be in 'Shape-Shift Lock Mode' for the next seven months, until our baby boy is born, but I am otherwise still able to use magic. Tell me, how in the world did you manage to become so...AWESOME?!" Bubble Bass says: "To be honest, I don't really know. It started gradually at first, but ever since I became good, during that challenge where I was forced to be on guard duty for Sniz and Fondue, things have really started to happen for me! I mean, I have actual SUPERPOWERS now! I never thought THAT would actually happen!" Blonda says: "And look at how much you have accomplished, and where you are now! I mean, even if you DON'T win the game, you've managed to accomplish SO much, that I would be so PROUD to marry you, as you are!" Bubble Bass gets up, and Blonda can see Bubble Bass COMPLETELY! Bubble Bass says: "You really MEAN it? You love ME, as I am?" Blonda says: "ESPECIALLY as you are now! You're practically not afraid of ANYTHING anymore! No matter WHAT Anti-Cosmo has dished out at you, you've kept on persisting! And look where it has gotten you! You know, once our baby is born, I think I can get you a job with a rock band. I heard you singing on that music video that General Barracuda made. 'Addicted To Love'? Pretty great song! And I think there are plenty of MORE songs that would sound good with YOUR voice! And just THINK, how much PUBLICITY you could get! Your tickets would practically SELL themselves!" Bubble Bass says: "Do you REALLY think I could be a singer?" Blonda says: "Sure! Ask anybody! Ask Mick Jagger! Any band mates that you have, would be LUCKY to have you as a singer!" Bubble Bass says: "You know what Blonda? I'll do it! Once this season is over, I'll be in a band! Making music that will change the world, and making money off of royalties and album sales? It's a life-long dream of mine, other than the one I'm having right now, of course!" Blonda says: "It's amazing how you've gone from socially distant, to being so openly sociable! It's amazing how this season has changed you!" Bubble Bass says: "And all for the better, to! In fact, there's just one thing I'd like to do, before trying to win this season." Blonda asks: "Oh, and what would that be?"

Bubble Bass says: "Well, it's actually been on my mind for a while, but, I would like to ask Spongebob and Patrick, if they would like to become actual FRIENDS with me? Not because of my accomplishments, or the jewels I've found, or the potential fame I might get as a singer, but being friends with me, for who I am. I mean, I'd be a far more SOCIABLE friend, and far more tolerant to their actions, than Squidward would. Not to mention, if they hang out with me, they're NOT trying to hang out with Squidward, which I think Squidward would GREATLY appreciate!" Blonda says: "I think that would be a GREAT idea! Who knows? Spongebob and Patrick could even BE your band mates!" Bubble Bass says: "It's certainly worth a shot! The next time I see them, I'll DEFINITELY ask them!" Blonda says: "Of course! And once this season is over, promise me that we'll get married...in a private ceremony. I'm still a little sensitive about my current, NON-dream form!" Bubble Bass says: "Sorry about that. I was still...insecure about myself when I asked you to do that." Blonda says: "Understandable." Bubble Bass says: "I promise you, I'll NEVER ask you to do something like THAT ever again!" Blonda says: "That's genuinely the nicest thing anyone has EVER promised me! Thank you, Bubble Bass." Bubble Bass says: "You're welcome, Blonda!" / And Bubble Bass' dream ends, as he wakes up, and wakes up Wally, who is sharing a room with him! Bubble Bass says: "Good morning, new best friend, Wally!" Wally wakes up, and he says: "Good morning, new best friend, Bubble Bass! You're in a good mood, today!" Bubble Bass says: "It's hard not to be! I've gotten to the Final Four, and things are going GREAT! (Beat) Which means...the next three challenges are BOUND to be the hardest I've faced this season." Wally asks: "Why do you say that?" Bubble Bass says: "It's simple mathematics! I can't think of any SOLO contestant, who has managed to win FOUR solo immunity challenges in a row! And I've already won THREE! Statistically speaking, I COULD be looking at a loss!" Wally asks: "So, what are you going to DO about it?" Bubble Bass says: "Well, I don't really like him, for being partially RESPONSIBLE for helping to eliminate Tigress. But, I think I'll have to make an alliance with Private." Wally asks: "Why do you want to do THAT?! Po and Jenny are FAR more competent as challengers than HE is!" Bubble Bass says: "Exactly! Their skills are TOO good! If I face off against either one of them, my chances of winning will be reduced down to almost NOTHING! As much as I hate to admit it, facing off against Private is my only decent chance of actually GETTING a win this season!" Wally asks: "The question is, do you think Private will GO for it?" Bubble Bass says: "I don't see how he wouldn't. I mean, it's between me, and Po and/or Jenny. And to be honest, I don't see EITHER of them wanting to take Private to the Final Two in ANY scenario! I'm willing to MAKE that offer! I don't think either of them will!" Wally asks: "So, that's what your plan boils down to? Asking Private to align yourself with you?"

Bubble Bass says: "I know it's not an ideal situation for me; but at this point, I'm fresh out of other good options to choose from, seeing as how my original plan to take Johnny Krill and Tigress to the Final Three have fallen through, with Johnny Krill going CRAZY, and Tigress SACRIFICING herself to save Po! Private is the best metaphorical hand that I can play! And if that's what the metaphorical deck has dealt me, than so be it! I'll make my case to Private soon. And if that falls through...well, I'll guess I'll cross THAT bridge if I have to come to it, and not before!" Wally says: "That's a REALLY insightful statement, Bubble Bass!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Only two challenges remain until the Final Two. To be honest, I thought that I would have almost no CHANCE of getting here, even WITH my original alliance plan! But so far, luck has been on MY side! But luck can only get me so far! From here on out, I've got to rely on actual SKILLS if I want to GET to the Finals! It's certainly lucky that I've recently acquired super-powers, and that they're not SO super-powerful, as to be a game-breaker. Po and Jenny are clearly going to be more concerned with trying to beat each other, before they set their sights on me! Therefore, if one of them wins THIS challenge, I'll simply get Private to help vote off the other one, and deal with whoever is left in the final three! I'll make the next phase of my plan, ONCE I've carried out this one! Foresight, that's a really important thing to have in a game of this nature!" / Wally says: "Bubble Bass has given me a lot to think about, if I indeed get chosen to come back for Total Cartoon Legends! I want to pick my alliance partners very carefully. I would need contestants who are skilled and smart, who won't pose too much of a danger, should I get close to the Final Three. And, I would prefer to be able to keep my friendships with them, intact. It's not easy, but it's the way that I want to play. Staying true to myself, is the most important thing in the world to me!" Wally uses his telekinesis powers, and summons a pear, into his hands! Wally begins eating it, and says: "Mmm, peary!" (End Confessional) Meanwhile, in Po's hotel room, all the other contestants have gathered together. Private says: "I'm sorry, Po. My penguin espionage spying skills have turned up nothing, in regards as to where Anti-Poof might be." Jenny says: "And my X-ray scanners have turned up nothing! I don't think Anti-Poof is anywhere ON this island!" Po says: "And that means I'm still STUCK wearing a stupid apron!" Private says: "You could be like Bubble Bass. He's embraced who HE truly is!" Jenny gives Private a look, and she asks: "Really? THAT'S the train of logic that you're going with?" Po seriously says: "You're insane!" Private says: "Not true! Skipper had me tested! Only RICO is insane! Three guesses why, and the first two don't count!"

Po says: "Well, in any case, if we can't find Anti-Poof, we'll find Anti-Cosmo! We find him, Anti-Poof will soon follow!" Jenny says: "Wait a minute! Why do we NEED to help YOU find Anti-Cosmo?!" Po says: "Simple! It's OBVIOUS that I'm going to WIN this game! I'm the STRONGEST contestant left! Bubble Bass has been lucky SO far, but I'M going to end his run of good luck, right here and now!" Jenny says: "As if! If anyone is going to WIN this game, it's going to be ME! Do you have ANY idea of the amount of circuitry and nano-chips that have been installed in me? I'm the latest word in technology! I can't afford to NOT win this game!" Private says: "You're overlooking my espionage skills! If anyone is going to win this game, it's going to be ME! Nobody can resist MY charms!" Po and Jenny both look at him, and they BOTH simultaneously go: "HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!" Private asks: "What? What's so FUNNY?" Jenny scoffs, and she says: "As IF!!!! You're a total NON-issue when it comes to our game-plans! The only reason you're even HERE, is to exist as a GOAT for one of us to compete in the Final Two! When it comes down to a physical challenge between the two of us, we'll kick YOUR butt no contest! That's the only reason why we've even LET you BE here this long!" Private sadly asks: "Po, is that TRUE?" Po says: "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but its true. We could've voted YOU out ANYTIME we wanted! The only reason why we haven't, is LITERALLY because, everyone else, including SURPRISINGLY Bubble Bass, has posed more of a threat than you! And, since you have no WAY of winning the game on your own, your only choice, is to help us vote off Bubble Bass tonight, and than vote off whichever one of loses in the Final Three challenge, so you can lose in the Final Two. You should consider yourself lucky, even Skipper and Marlene only ever got THIRD place, and they were FAR more competent than YOU!" Private angrily says: "Well, I say, NUTS to THAT plan!!!!" And Po and Jenny gasp in audible shock! Private angrily says: "Yeah, I said, 'Nuts to THAT plan!' You both think you're such HOT stuff! What, with your Kung Fu skills, and your robotic technology, you think that YOU can push me around, like I'm sort of plush toy? Well, now I'm PUSHING back! You want to mess with the penguin? You're going to get the beak, and the talons! Mark my words, you two! This means WAR!!!!" And Private angrily storms off! Po looks worried about this new development, and he says: "I hate to say this, but, I think we just woke up a MONSTER! You know...it just occurred to me that there IS a possibility, that BOTH of us could LOSE this thing!" Jenny gasps, and says: "WHAT?! That's not possible!" Po says: "Tigress thought the same thing, and look what happened to HER! If Private REALLY intends to bring his 'A' Game, we better not take him lightly! If he TRULY intends for the best contestant to win; well, that's EXACTLY what he is going to get!" Jenny says: "I hear that, Po! I certainly do!" (Confessional)

Po says: "What I don't understand is, how could the two of us, Jenny and I, blow it SO badly with Private?! We had this game in our hands! Unless...Anti-Cosmo!" / Anti-Cosmo laughs: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! My truth telling ray STRIKES again! I told you there were no promises that I wouldn't USE it again!" / Jenny says: "That TEARS it! Anti-Cosmo can MESS with Bubble Bass all he wants, but when he messes with ME, there will be a piper to pay! It's time to fight metaphorical fire, with FIRE!!!!" And Jenny paints herself with her red-HOT biker look, complete with red hot flame decals, and Jenny seriously says: "I'm coming after YOU!!!!" / Private angrily says: "Po and Jenny have no right to disrespect me! I've been NOTHING but sociable and nice with them, and they're just going to brush me OFF?! Well, if that's how they want to play it, than I'm going to offer my services to someone who might just appreciate it! I am GOING to make an alliance with Bubble Bass! We'll see who has the last laugh now! Won't we?!" (End Confessional) Private knocks on Bubble Bass' door, and Private shouts: "Open up!" Bubble Bass says: "It's Private!" Wally asks: "He's here?!" Bubble Bass says: "I wasn't expecting this!" Wally asks: "Should you answer it?" Bubble Bass says: "He sounds SERIOUS!" Wally says: "Than you should answer it!" Bubble Bass opens the door, and he asks: "What do YOU want?!" Private seriously says: "I want YOU, to make an ALLIANCE with me!" Bubble Bass is taken aback, and he says: "Wait a minute! YOU, want to make an alliance, WITH me?" Private seriously says: "Yes! Jenny and Po BOTH think that I'm not important enough to be a factor against beating them in the Final Two! They think I'm nothing but cannon fodder that they can push to the side, in a Final Two challenge! Well, they're going to see that I'm NOT! Join my alliance, and we'll CRUSH them like the BUGS that they ARE! No offense to actual bugs!" Wally says: "None taken, even though I don't know of any bugs PERSONALLY!" Bubble Bass seriously says: "You know, you've got a LOT of nerve asking me to be in an alliance with you, the way you used me in a way to get Tigress eliminated!" Private says: "I just want to state, for the record, that I had no way of knowing, that Tigress was willing to put herself on the line for elimination, and that she wanted Po to save himself! But we're BOTH out of options! I don't want to be treated as either Po's, or Jenny's play-thing, and YOU don't want to be eliminated! So, our only choice is to unite together! It's our only chance against them, and I don't think you want to be eliminated, any more than I do. So, what do you say? Do we have a deal?" Bubble Bass says: "You know, the funny thing is, I was actually THINKING the exact same thing! I just didn't expect for YOU to come to me FIRST! But, it looks like my expectations have been exceeded. Very well, we have a deal. But don't think that this really changes anything. If we BOTH get to the Final Two, you're going to get my 'A' Game, no questions asked. And I don't expect for YOU, to go easy on me, either!"

Private seriously says: "I won't! I promise you that!" Bubble Bass says: "Good! It's settled! We'll both vote out either Po, or Jenny. Whichever one doesn't win immunity this time. And if one of us wins, we'll vote off the bigger threat in Po, and deal with Jenny in the Final Three." Private says: "I can't argue with THAT! I wouldn't know HOW to!" Bubble Bass says: "It's settled than. And no matter what happens in the Final Two, may the better contestant win. No exceptions." Private says: "Deal!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Every time I think I have this game figured out, another curve ball gets thrown at me! I certainly wasn't expecting Private to come to me first, but it certainly makes things a lot more convenient! So, my game plan has been realized! That's the easy part! The tricky part, will be to follow through! It won't be easy! But nothing REALLY fun in life, ever rarely IS easy!" / Private says: "I did it! Bubble Bass has aligned with me! And he doesn't just see me as some object to brush to the side! He actually thinks of me as a real challenge! So, even if, on the off-chance, I lose to him, that would be a loss I can live with. Better to lose to someone who respects you, than to someone who doesn't. That's the way I see it, at least." (End Confessional) Sniz's voice comes over through the loud-speakers, and says: "Attention, contestants; congratulations on making it to the Final Four! Your next challenge awaits you at the forest on this island! That is all!" Jenny says: "Well, our moment of destiny is here!" Po says: "No kidding! It's us, or THEM!" / The four contestants, and Wally, arrive at the forest. Sniz says: "Contestants, you know why you're here. You're here because through either luck, skill, stamina, strength, or any combination of the above, you have managed to persevere past ten other contestants, in order to make it to the Final Four! You should be proud of yourselves! However, the last two elimination challenges, will be among the toughest, this season has to offer! Your challenge this time, is no exception! Your challenge will be, to team up with an animal buddy, to make it past all the natural hazards on this island, in order to be the first to complete a full lap around this island, and make it back here first, and win immunity." And everyone looks at Sniz STRANGELY! (Confessional) Sniz looks through a portable computer, and he says: "YOU try coming up with 124 different challenge ideas! It was either, 'Animal Buddy' challenge or, 'Guy in a coma' challenge. And 'Coma' challenges, do NOT make for very exciting television!" (End Confessional) Private says: "An animal buddy challenge?! Isn't that a little redundant?!" Sniz says: "Not for Jenny, it isn't!" Jenny says: "And I'm raring to go for THIS challenge! Let me at Anti-Cosmo! I've had ENOUGH of his meddling!" And from a distance, Anti-Cosmo gulps nervously!

(Confessional) Anti-Cosmo breathes into a paper bag, and he nervously says: "I went too far! I went too FAR!!!! Why did I have to get Jenny, of ALL the contestants, mad at ME?! If she finds me, she'll KILL me! I'll have to move to a new city! Start a NEW crime spree under a NEW name!" Than Anti-Cosmo seriously says: "NO! NOT AGAIN!!!! If Jenny thinks she can get to ME, she's got another thing COMING! I'm throwing the GAUNTLET at HER!!!!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "In any case, we have picked four random animals, for you contestants to get paired up with. May luck be on your side! General Barracuda, spin the Wheel of Randomness!" And General Barracuda spins the wheel, and Po gets a TIGER!!!! Po says: "WOAH!!!! You mean...?!" Sniz says: "That's RIGHT! For your animal, you get TIGRESS!!!!" And Tigress pounces BACK on the scene! Tigress says: "HA!!!! I told you, I'd be back!" Bubble Bass says: "Uh, you NEVER said that!" Tigress thinks about it, and says: "Okay, no, I didn't! But I was definitely thinking it! Don't make any mistake about that!" And Private gulps nervously! (Confessional) Private says: "Oh, boy! It was going to be hard enough, trying to deal with Po on his own! With Tigress, it's going to be next to impossible! Bubble Bass, I hope you have some sort of plan you can concoct, because I sure don't!" / Bubble Bass says: "The thing of it is, I know that Tigress LIKES winning, but she would also like to keep me as her friend, a LOT! I didn't want to have to do this, but it looks like I'll have to give her some of my jewels after all!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda spins the wheel, and Private gets a CHAMELEON! Sniz says: "Private, you get our former contestant named, CHAMELEON!!!!" And Chameleon turns OFF his invisibility, and says: "Surprise!" And Private is taken aback! Chameleon laughs, and he says: "Just kidding! I just always wanted to do that! And don't worry! I'll do whatever I can do, to help you against Tigress!" (Confessional) Private says: "All right! Now I have a fighting chance! With Chameleon on my side, he's SURE to give Tigress a run for her money! After all, Chameleon can change into anything!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda spins the wheel, and it lands RIGHT between a SPONGE and a SEA STAR! Sniz says: "Bubble Bass, are YOU lucky! You get TWO for the price of one! Former contestants, Spongebob and Patrick!" Spongebob shouts: "I'm READY!" Patrick shouts: "Me to!" And they arrive, on the scene! Spongebob says: "Bubble Bass, you're here! And...covered in bubbles." Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "I know. You probably think of me as a hypocrite, chiding you BOTH for being naked, than choosing to walk around in nothing but bubbles. Go ahead, take your best shot; I deserve it." Patrick says: "Actually, we just want to say thank you, for taking Johnny Krill down a notch." Bubble Bass says: "Me? Really? Why?"

Spongebob says: "Simple. At the Salty Spitoon, all tough guys in town we're talking about 'Johnny Krill this,' and 'Johnny Krill that'. They thought there was no chance that ANYBODY could outlast him, let alone, you! Seeing you get this far, has made them rethink their whole stance on what constitutes as a tough guy, or girl!" Bubble Bass says: "Wow! That's interesting to know!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "At this point, I'm chalking it up to synchronicity. I wanted to talk to Spongebob and Patrick, and now, they're here! And...I don't know why, but I think that they might actually help me WIN this challenge! At this point, I wouldn't doubt that practically ANYTHING would be possible!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda spins the wheel, and lands on a WARTHOG!!!! Sniz says: "Jenny, you get former contestant, TAOTIE!!!!" And Taotie busts onto the scene! Taotie says: "Ha, ha, ha! It's good to be back, LOSERS! And this time, there will BE no tricks! Just pure, raw, unfiltered skill, between the THREE of us! Does that sound like FUN, Tigress and Po?!" Tigress' tail and whiskers twitch, and she angrily says: "Ooh, it's on like DONKEY KONG!" (Confessional) Taotie says: "I knew that would get under her skin!" / Tigress says: "I've been waiting a LONG time to get back at Taotie! And now, my window of opportunity has just opened! I'm going in!" / Po says: "Wherever Tigress goes, I go to! We're going to deal with Taotie, and take him to prison, where he belongs!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Everyone has an animal partner, and we've got to take a break! But when we come back, we're going to get to the real meat of this challenge, and determine a winner, on our current episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" Marlene says: "It's going to be awesome!" Private laughs, and he says: "I was wondering when YOU were going to show up!" / (Commercial Break) /

The commercials finally end, and Sniz says: "Okay, everybody! It's time to discuss what you all need to know!" Tigress snarkily says: "Why it ALWAYS feels like it takes so LONG to get BACK to the action whenever you NEED to take a commercial break?!" Fondue rolls his eyes and says: "BESIDES that!" Sniz says: "I told you that letting the Anti-Fairies handle our airing schedule would be a bad idea, AND as usual, you NEVER listen to the smart guy!" Taotie says: "Maybe he WOULD if you EVER said anything smart to BEGIN with!" General Barracuda snaps: "Now YOU shut your SNOUT! You're lucky that YOU'RE even here in the first place! We originally wanted Oonski to come back, and YOU only got to come back because he said, 'No'!" Taotie asks: "I wasn't the FIRST choice?!" Marlene scoffs, and says: "PLEASE! You were BARELY your wife's SECOND choice!" And Taotie fumes at that statement! (Confessional) Taotie says: "Honestly, I'm tired of everyone always demeaning me! It's getting on my nerves! Luckily for me, I've got a plan cooked up with Anti-Cosmo, that will MAKE them respect me, ONCE and for all!" / General Barracuda says: "My superior or not, NOBODY disrespects Sniz when I'm around, especially NOT some snot-nosed, third rate Big Bad Wannabe! If Taotie wants to try to prove that he's eviler than thou, he's going to be in for a WORLD of hurt!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Ignoring that LAST tangent, here is how the challenge is going to work."

Private says: "Finally, we can devise a plan of action!" Sniz says: "Each contestant and partner set, will be taking a different route across the island, to the other side of the island at the finish line. And to make sure you DON'T take any shortcuts, each contestant must pick up ten small orbs along the way. They will be colored white for Po, blue for Jenny, green for Bubble Bass, and black for Private. They will have the faces of the contestants you've outlasted in this competition. Bring all your orbs to the finish line, in order to ensure your immunity at the elimination ceremony tonight. The other contestants will have to face off against each other, as they try to vote someone else off. After tonight, three of you will be one step closer to winning $1.4 million in cold, hard cash!" Anti-Cosmo chuckles evilly, and telepathically communicates: "That doesn't SOUND challenging enough to me!" Patrick asks: "Does this guy EVER get tired of trying to bug you, Bubble Bass?" Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "Not from MY personal experience he hasn't!" Anti-Cosmo appears in a swirl of black and purple lights, and turns the sky all dark and gloomy! Anti-Cosmo says: "Impressed by my impressive entrance?" Jenny says: "Anti-Cosmo! I didn't think YOU would be bold enough to appear in front of us again! Well, THAT mistake will BE your LAST! I'm armed and ready to take you DOWN!" Anti-Cosmo dryly says: "Oh, I'm very WELL aware of what you WANT to do to me! However, I predict that you won't lay a robotic finger on me." Chameleon asks: "Oh, and why is that?" Anti-Cosmo answers: "A little something I like to call, 'Protection Insurance'!" And Anti-Cosmo raises his wand, and a COLOSSAL giant machine appears around Taotie, Snaptrap appears, and is armored in 1987 "Robocop" armor, Spongebob's Abrasive side appears, on top of a giant version of Doodlebob, and Professor Blowhole appears, in a completely tricked out airship with all the modern AND futuristic weapons one can think of! Anti-Cosmo says: "Behold! Your four most PERSONAL enemies are BACK for revenge against you! Come on! You MUST admit that you're impressed!" Tigress says: "PLEASE!!!! I'm NOT impressed! You're SO predictable!" Anti-Cosmo sputters, and he says: "Predictable? PREDICTABLE?! You call THAT predictable?!" Tigress says: "Taotie in a machine? I was thinking about it just this morning."

Anti-Cosmo asks: "And Professor Blowhole?!" Tigress says: "Seen it!" Anti-Cosmo asks: "Snaptrap?!" Tigress says: "Tacky!" Anti-Cosmo asks: "Abrasive Side and Doodlebob?!" Tigress says: "Garish!" Tigress than pauses, and says: "The spider's new, though." Anti-Cosmo asks: "The spider?!" And he inexplicably sees a black spider dangling in front of Tigress! Anti-Cosmo maliciously says: "Oh, YES! The SPEE-IDER!!!! Even just ONE bite from Arachnicus Deathicus will result in instant--!" And Tigress blows the spider into Anti-Cosmo's face, and he screams: "AHHH!!!! GET IT OFF!!!! GET IT OFF!!!! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT--!" And Snaptrap PUNCHES Anti-Cosmo's face to kill the spider, and Tigress enunciates: "Pre-dict-a-ble!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Regardless, YOU are going to fight them, and YOU will not survive!" Tigress scoffs, and says: "PLEASE! I'm going to thrash ALL of them in thirty minutes, and kick butt like I ALWAYS do!" Po nervously says: "Tigress! Remember that LITTLE talk we had about NOT tempting fate and underestimating your opponents?!" Tigress says: "Maybe I WOULD remember IF there were any ACTUAL opponents to worry about! But since there's just Taotie, I'll start with HIM!" General Barracuda says: "And I'll handle the REST! Anti-Cosmo! You can HUMILIATE my son! You can make LIFE miserable for him!" Bubble Bass asks: "And this helps me HOW?!" General Barracuda says: "Well, he already HAS at least ATTEMPTED to do so, there's no denying that! But Anti-Cosmo, when you mess with ALL the contestant's you MESS with me! It's time to fight, fisticuffs! Unless you KNOW that you can't hack it! In which case, surrender NOW, and I'll go EASY on you!" Anti-Cosmo maliciously chuckles, and says: "You STILL don't GET what my entire POINT has been this season, have you?!" Spongebob says: "Well, I THOUGHT we did, right up until YOU chuckled like that; and now, I'm starting to get a little worried!" Bubble Bass says: "And you KNOW things are bad when HE worries, because he almost NEVER worries!" Anti-Cosmo says: "You see, for the longest time, we Anti-Fairies were the ones who ENSURED that Master Coelaceanth STAYED in his evil power! We supplied him with electrical powers! We provided him with the ability to breathe air and live forever. And just HOW do you repay such MAGNIFICENT training in EVIL, General Barracuda? You FAILED him on a daily basis, you outright betrayed him and humiliated Master Coelaceanth's hired help, but on TOP of all that, you THREW Master Coelaceanth down a mountain, where he got BEHEADED by Oonski The Great!"

Bubble Bass asks: "And THAT'S WHY you WANTED ME to become a villain?! Just to get BACK at my dad?!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Honestly, no. The fact that you turned OUT to be Horatio Barracuda II, was just a happy little coincidence for me. No, the reason I've been doing ALL of this, was to generate enough dark Anti-Fairy power, to TRULY bring Master Coelaceanth BACK to life!" General Barracuda says: "Spoiler alert, he already TRIED that stunt LAST season, and he was defeated by Keswick!" Anti-Cosmo says: "I know. I've been in touch with Master Coelaceanth. He's been stuck in the netherworld with all the ghosts that Danny Phantom has trapped throughout the years. Spoiler alert, it is LITERALLY Hell! I arranged for Danny Fenton's powers to malfunction, and put a dark spell on this island, to speed up the process of gathering the energy NEEDED for the SUCCESSFUL revival of Master Coelaceanth! I had HOPED to be able to stop ALL of you myself, but SINCE you insist on being SO resilient and unwilling to see things MY way, I'll have to bring out my ACE in the hole!" General Barracuda says: "You're crazy! You can't trust Master Coelaceanth! If he gets what he wants, once YOU'RE no longer of any use to him, he'll dispose of you!" Anti-Cosmo creepily says: "Oh, I'm FAR beyond caring about my OWN safety! I could care LESS what happens to me, and more what happens to you! I want to get rid of you SO much, I'm WILLING to let my OWN HEALTH and SAFETY be HURT, JUST to HURT YOU in the WORST WAY possible! So, get a trick of THIS, my GREATEST TRICK OF ALL!!!!" And Anti-Cosmo raises his wand, and a bolt of purple lightning shoots out of it, than all of Anti-Cosmo's magic suddenly disappears! Anti-Cosmo says: "What?! Out of power?! I can't be out of power! I STILL have a magical power of over 9,000 left! What gives?!" Wanda poofs in, and says: "I pulled the plug to your little operation!" Anti-Cosmo says: "YOU can't do THAT!" Sniz chuckles, and he says: "Oh, YES, she can! Thanks to the authorization clause I INCLUDED in your contract with us! It says, and I quote: 'The party of the undersigned, signed below, clearly dictates in the event that they knowingly, and willingly endanger the lives of the contestants on a repeated basis, and violate these terms three times, will have their authority to use magic, immediately revoked, and replaced by the most immediate available second party, referred within. Signed, Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof'. Unquote."

Anti-Cosmo screams: "CURSE YOU FINE PRINT!!!! Ruining MY life yet AGAIN! Just like being FORCED to have COSMO as my GOOD fairy counterpart!" Wanda sighs and says: "I honestly feel you; but, rules are rules!" Marlene comes in, and she is holding Anti-Poof. She says: "I found the other one! He was hiding in the UNUSED Bathroom Confessional from season one that we don't USE anymore!" Patrick says: "I KNEW IT!" Tigress says: "No, you didn't!" Patrick says: "Okay, fine! I just don't GET the opportunity to SAY that often, all right?!" Tigress shrugs her shoulders, and says: "Fair enough." Anti-Poof says: "I HAD to hide in that stinky place! Who in their right mind would USE it if they didn't have to?!" Po says: "You jerk! I lost all my CLOTHES because of you!" Anti-Poof says: "If I STILL had my magic..." Sniz says: "Well, the fact is, you DON'T! So, Jenny, blast them away!" Jenny says: "Where to?" Sniz says: "Oh, I'd say aim your trajectory for the city of The Casagrandes. A little time around THERE ought to chill them out!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Not a spin-off! NOT a spin-off! ANYTHING but a spin-off!" Fondue says: "Be thankful he's NOT making it The Patrick Star Show!" Anti-Poof says: "I'd rather us wind up THERE than where WE'RE going to--." (BOOM!!!!) Anti-Poof screams: "LAND!!!!" And Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof zoom out of sight! Jenny says: "My, GOSH! That felt good!" Sniz says: "So, with THAT out of the way we can get back to the challenge, and--." Marlene says: "The challenge is already won!" Fondue asks: "What?! How?!" Wanda says: "Finish line monitor, sir!" She waves her wand, and a T.V. screen appears, showing Private, riding Chameleon who is currently transformed into an electric car. Private is waving all ten orbs, indicating that he has won the challenge! Tigress is genuinely stunned, and she says: "I don't believe it." Bubble Bass says: "That is WHY you lost!" Sniz says: "No rule against Chameleon changing into a fast vehicle, so Private can finish the challenge faster. Advantage, Private!" Taotie screams: "Have you FORGOTTEN about us?! Or do we need to pound you?!" Tigress says: "You're totally a non-issue! Bubble Bass, Doodlebob!" Bubble Bass says: "On it!" And Bubble Bass uses his bubble powers to wash away Doodlebob, scrubbing him away into nothingness, and trapping Spongebob's Abrasive Side into a bubble, and kicking him far away! Bubble Bass says: "And THIS time, DON'T come back!" Spongebob's Abrasive Side futilely screams: "REVENGE!!!! As he sails out of sight!

Patrick asks: "Is he gone for GOOD this time?" Marlene says: "It all depends!" Spongebob says: "On his will to survive?" Sniz says: "No! Toy sales! If his toys sell well, he'll come back from parts unknown in season five!" General Barracuda says: "At least we're HONEST about it!" Tigress says: "Jenny, electric shock!" Jenny says: "Pleasure!" And she zaps Snaptrap, electrifying him out of the 1987 "Robocop" armor! Tigress grabs the "Robocop" armor, and she says: "And now YOU, Taotie!" Taotie screams: "CURSE YOU TIGRESS!!!!" And she fires ALL of the "Robocop" weaponry at Taotie's machine, not stopping until it is completely destroyed and explodes!!!! After the smoke clears, Po shouts: "WHOO!!!! Best fight EVER!!!!" Tigress chuckles and she says: "Make that, BEST sight ever! I think you lost your apron!" Fondue asks: "Sniz, is THAT going to be a problem?" Sniz says: "If Patrick's Dad in The Patrick Star Show can appear naked, so can Po." Marlene asks: "Was THAT the bar we were WAITING for?!" Wally says: "Hey, at least WE have a bar!" Po says: "And I got to admit it feels so good! Nothing like feeling the breeze!" Patrick says: "I know how THAT feels!" Sniz says: "So, not the episode I envisioned, but Private HAS won the challenge and has immunity! You three contestants, are on the chopping block! Make your decisions, and I will see you at the Elimination Ceremony, tonight!" General Barracuda says: "I don't say this enough, but I'm proud of the way you've handled yourself this season, son. You've done so much, and mostly WITHOUT my help! It makes me glad you're carrying on the name of Barracuda!" Bubble Bass says: "Thanks, dad. And Wanda?" Wanda asks: "What is it?" Bubble Bass says: "About Master Coelaceanth. Now, did you manage to turn OFF the magic from the Anti-Fairy world, BEFORE Anti-Cosmo's wish COULD resurrect Master Coelaceanth's body?!" Wanda gets an Anime sweat drop, and she worriedly says: "I'm afraid I currently have no way of knowing." / The scene cuts to the foot of Mount Snizmore, and a purple lightning bolt shoots down and hits the ground where a make-shift grave has been made, with a tombstone reading, "Here Lies Master Coelaceanth". And the tune of "In The Hall of The Mountain King" plays while this is going on! When the lightning bolt hits the ground at the tombstone, it appears that ALL of Master Coelaceanth is RISING out of the ground! And Master Coelaceanth sticks his SLIGHTLY un-dead head out of the ground and he yells: "I'M ALIVE AGAIN!!!! MWA, HA, HA...!" Than he notices SOMETHING is off, because his HEAD isn't moving, and the REST of his zombie body is wandering around!

Master Coelaceanth says: "CRUD!!!! Forgot about Oonski's AX!!!! HEY! THE REST OF ME!!!! I'm OVER HERE!!!!" But of course, since the rest of Master Coelaceanth's body doesn't HAVE ears to hear, or eyes to see, it isn't FINDING him, and doesn't even HAVE a mouth to respond! Master Coelaceanth says: "Why couldn't I have lost something inconsequential?! Like my LEFT arm fin?! Come ON, body! I don't have all--OOF!!!!" As Master Coelaceanth's body accidentally steps on his own face, and Master Coelaceanth finishes: "Day!" Master Coelaceanth's body picks up a giant boulder and starts carrying it over to Master Coelaceanth's face, and Master Coelaceanth asks: "What are you doing with that rock?! Wait! No, no, NO!!!!" And Master Coelaceanth's body throws down the rock on Master Coelaceanth's face, and he woozily says: "It's a good thing I'm un-dead; otherwise, I would be in SUCH pain right now!" Thankfully, Master Coelaceanth's body seems to have FINALLY gotten the clue, as it picks up Master Coelaceanth's head, and twists it BACK onto his body, making Master Coelaceanth complete again! Master Coelaceanth says: "Curse my muscle memory! Wanting to KILL Spongebob SO badly! Though, it IS nice to know my body has STILL got it, despite being DEAD so long! And thanks to Anti-Cosmo's magic, I KNOW where all the current contestants currently are. It looks like his spell wasn't strong enough to WISH me alive there! But no matter! I'll make my OWN way there, somehow!" And he starts walking eastward, toward the still far-away Lake Michigan and to the tune of "In The Hall Of The Mountain King", Master Coelaceanth sings: "Going to kill freaking Spongebob; going to kill that freaking Spongebob!" / The scene cuts back to the campground. It is now night-time, and the contestants are all at the camp-fire. Only Tigress is still hanging around. Marlene asks: "Excuse me, why are YOU still here?!" Tigress says: "Why should I bother to leave with all the OTHER losers?! It's obvious I don't NEED to go anywhere! Po has totally GOT this!" General Barracuda says: "If your HEAD were any bigger, you WOULDN'T even be able to FIT through Master Shifu's Temple!" Tigress sarcastically says: "Ho ho, very funny. Ha ha, it IS to laugh!" Sniz says: "You have all cast your votes, and there are only three safe marshmallows left! When I call your name, you will receive a safe marshmallow!"

Tigress says: "And we ALL know who's going to win the FIRST one! Don't tell me! I'm TOO modest!" Private says: "If that's HER definition of 'Modest', imagine what the ANTITHESIS looks like!" Sniz says: "The contestant that does NOT receive a safe marshmallow, must immediately pack their bags, head for the Slingshot of Shame, and be flung out of here! That means you are out of the contest, and you cannot come back, for the remainder of THIS contest!" Tigress says: "STOP teasing the audience, SNIZ! Say Po's name!" Sniz says: "Now, with the formalities out of the way, it's time to reveal the safe contestants! Private! Jenny!" Tigress screams: "WHAT?! This isn't an Elimination Ceremony! It's a FIX! FIX, FIX, FIX!!!!" Bubble Bass asks: "And you're NOT the least CONCERNED about MY safety?!" Tigress screams: "I AM TIGRESS!!!! Po and I DESERVE TO WIN THIS!!!!" Sniz says: "Well, do you know what I say to THAT, Little Miss 'Deserves'?!" Tigress asks: "What?!" Sniz says: "Po lost!" Tigress screams: "WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The sound echoing and managing to make it ALL the WAY to the hotel where Johnny Krill and all the other eliminated contestants are currently staying! Johnny Krill groans and says: "SHEESH! That girl is a SORE loser!" Tigress says: "That is IMPOSSIBLE! BUBBLE BASS, we HAD a DEAL!" Bubble Bass says: "Sorry, couldn't do it. The deal ONLY applied to YOU as a contestant, NOT to your boyfriend! Besides, Private and I made a deal to each other, and that required cutting Po out of the contest, for Po disrespecting Private. In other words, making the same STUPID mistake YOU just made!" Po says: "For the record, that was Anti-Cosmo's FAULT! I never would've said such things out LOUD if it wasn't for Anti-Cosmo's doing!" Private says: "Well, that doesn't change the fact that you DID say it, and since it WAS how you honestly felt, I'm afraid I had to act with an appropriate response to that!" Tigress scoffs says: "Well, at LEAST I STILL have Po, regardless! I guess it's back to the Slingshot Of Shame, again!"

Sniz says: "Only for you!" Tigress asks: "WHAT?! WHY?!" Sniz says: "For two reasons! First, you WERE mean and surly just now!" Wanda says: "And second, Po might be mostly muscle! But there's STILL 776 POUNDS of it! And the most the Slingshot of Shame can handle is 444! Po will be taking the Limo of Shame home!" Sniz says: "And since you OFFERED, you will take the Slingshot of Shame instead!" And General Barracuda grabs Tigress, and gets her fitted with safety gear, and Tigress says: "NO! I want to go with--!" (FLING!!!!) Tigress screams: "PO!!!!" Po asks: "Is she going to be all right?" Sniz says: "Don't worry about it! Cats ALWAYS land on their feet!" And off in the distance, Tigress screams: "OW!!!! My feet!!!!" Sniz chuckles, and says: "That NEVER gets old!" Po says: "Well, I'm satisfied! Good luck, you three! I'll see you at the finale!" And Po gets in the Limo of Shame, and it drives off! Sniz says: "And then there were three. We've come down to Bubble Bass, Jenny X-J9 and Private! Three contestants who have outlasted eleven others! One more contestant will face elimination in the semi-finals round, next time on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" / The scene cuts to far-away again, and Master Coelaceanth has finally made it to a highway. Master Coelaceanth says: "My undead body seems to have lost a little bit of speed, thanks to...being dead! If ONLY I had something FAST to travel in!" And who BUT Tigress should zoom in, land on her feet and screams: "OW!!!! My feet!!!!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Master Tigress!" Tigress says: "You! You're Master Coelaceanth!" Master Coelaceanth bitterly says: "Have you come as an assassin? Here to do General Barracuda's dirty work?" Tigress says: "I could care LESS about General Barracuda! I WANT REVENGE!!!! I give Bubble Bass the training and tips he needed to thrive as a contestant, and he THANKS me by letting PO get ELIMINATED?!!! Has he FORGOTTEN who I AM?!!! I break BRICKS for a living! He is going to PAY for this humiliation!" Master Coelaceanth says: "So, you want to get revenge, as well. It would seem that our goals have a common interest!" Tigress says: "Don't get me wrong! I could care LESS about whether or NOT, YOU get revenge on Spognebob, just so long as I GET to TEACH Bubble Bass his OWN lesson in HUMILIATION!!!! However, bringing YOU along would install a healthy sense of FEAR in him! I'll get you to where the season is taking place!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "And just HOW are you going to do that?!" Tigress chuckles, and says: "Watch, and learn!"

Tigress sticks an unexposed leg out, to lure in a truck, and sure enough, a truck being driven by Gordon Quid, pulls over. Gordon gets out, and he says: "Hey there, charming lass! Is there something I can help you with?" Tigress grabs Gordon by the neck, pulls out a picture of the campsite on the island in Lake Michigan, and she says: "Take me and Master Coelaceanth here!" Gordon defiantly says: "No way!" Master Coelaceanth opens his mouth, revealing the worms and bugs that have made his undead body their home, and Master Coelaceanth screams: "TAKE US!!!!" And he SLAMS his foot on the gas pedal, and they drive off, with Master Coelaceanth singing to the tune of "In The Hall Of The Mountain King": "Going to kill freaking Spongebob; going to kill that freaking Spongebob!" / And the episode ends on an eerie note! / Episode Notes: Po is eliminated in this episode, meaning all the returning contestants from season three (which were only Po and Tigress), have now been eliminated at least twice! Also, all the representatives from "Kung Fu Panda: Legends Of Awesomeness", have now been eliminated. Featured song in this episode: "Beast Of Burden". Anti-Cosmo's reason for his evil is revealed in this episode; he had been working to gather enough energy to revive Master Coelaceanth, a plan that he finally enacted in this episode! While Anti-Cosmo was stopped BEFORE he could transport Master Coelaceanth to the island in Lake Michigan, Master Coelaceanth is now undead, and has now teamed up with Tigress, who BOTH want revenge! First time Private has won a challenge. Eliminated Contestants: 14. Bessie Higgenbottom ("The Mighty B!"); 13. Rico ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"); 12. Katarra ("Avatar: The Last Airbender"); 11. Theodore Seville ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"); 10. Danny Fenton ("Danny Phantom"); 9. Fee ("Harvey Beaks"); 8. Brittany Miller ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"); 7. Johnny Krill ("Spongebob Squarepants"); 6. Tigress ("Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness"); 5. Kowalski ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"). 4. Po ("Kung Fu Panda: Legends Of Awesomeness"). Remaining Contestants: Bubble Bass, Jenny Wakeman, and Private. /

Personal Notes: I guess the reason why it took me as long as I did to write this episode, is that I didn't want to write it, until I could make it as epic as I possibly could. Of course, good episodes take time, and I wanted to be sure I had enough time, to write down the rest of this episode in a single shot! Fortunately, there are only two episodes left in season 4A, so hopefully, they won't take as long to write down. Of course, now that the DREADED Master Coelaceanth has been revived, there's no telling WHAT might happen! / That's it for this episode! Hope to see you again, soon! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

Here's a little something to get your mind off of Thanksgiving leftovers, a nice quality "Power Rangers Multiverse Force" episode about...food!...wait, WHAT?!!! /

4EverGreen's Disclaimer: Due to my personal strong convictions, I wish to state that the following episode, is in no way, shape, or form, an indictment on the eating habits of Americans, or any one person and/or being in particular. This is meant to be a farce, first and foremost, and is meant to entertain (and possibly educate) readers and/or viewers if such time ever comes to pass. Hope you enjoy the episode (unexpectedly) started by Renegade the Unicorn, and finished by myself!
 

The Obligatory Food Pyramid Episode

The episode begins with the Rangers, Multiverse Force and Thunder, at the Juice Bar. Each of them had various drinks and foods; the only one missing was Lettuce. The small penguin arrived at their corner of the bar a bit later, carrying a tray with what looked like a standard twelve-inch pizza wrapped like what Blackhawk might have described as a "burrito from hell", globs of cheddar and mozzarella cheese oozing and bubbling outward from the edges. All the Rangers stared at him, mouths agape. No one said anything; that was, until Firehawk exclaimed (appropriately and profanely) "DAMN, LETTUCE!" Her tone was more out of awe and astonishment more than anything. Patsy's, on the other hand, was a far more befitting expression of horror.
 "What. Is. That!?" the mongoose girl whispered, her tone slowly rising into a shrill shriek as she pointed at Lettuce's monstrous meal.
 "Oh, this? It's just a Cheesy Blaster." the penguin replied, picking up the ' Cheesy Blaster' and admiring it in the same way one might admire the works of, say, Andy Warhol. "You take a hot dog, stuff it with some jack cheese, fold it in a pizza! You've got Cheesy Blasters!" As if to top off his reciting of this commercial jingle, Lettuce did an air guitar solo.
 "Uhhhh, I'm not one to talk, Lettuce, but that doesn't exactly look healthy." Pinkie said worriedly. "You might wanna be a liiiitle more careful with what you're eating."
 Blackhawk and Naruto looked at each other and visibly cringed. "I swear I'm getting a heart attack from just looking at that thing." Naruto whispered through clenched teeth.
 "Me too." Blackhawk replied as he watched Lettuce devour the Cheesy Blaster in two, maybe three bites.
 "Lettuce is gonna have a heart attack if he keeps this up." Usagi said. "Don't you care about your own health?" she asked the penguin.
 "Ah, don't worry about it, Usagi!" Lettuce reassured her. "We penguins are kept warm by our fat, so I can pretty much eat whatever I want and not have any problems whatsoever!"
 "...Yeah, he's gonna screw himself over." Kras'hir, in her human disguise of ' Krystal' replied, before biting into a Renaissance faire-style turkey leg.
Sure enough, over the next several weeks, we see Lettuce's diet grow progressively unhealthier, all the while a famous parody by "Weird Al" Yankovic plays:
"Your butt is wide, well mine is too. Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you. The word is out, better treat me right. 'Cause I'm the king of cellulite. Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right. My zippers bust, my buckles break. I'm too much man for you to take.
The pavement cracks when I fall down. I've got more chins than Chinatown. Well, I've never used a phone booth. And I've never seen my toes. When I'm goin' to the movies, I take up seven rows because I'm fat, I'm fat, come on.
(Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it. (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come on you know. (Fat, fat, really really fat) Don'tcha call me pudgy, portly or stout. Just now tell me once again who's fat. When I walk out to get my mail, It measures on the Richter scale.
Down at the beach I'm a lucky man, I'm the only one who gets a tan. If I have one more pie a la mode, I'm gonna need my own zip code. When you're only having seconds, I'm having twenty-thirds. When I go to get my shoes shined, I gotta take their word. Because I'm fat, I'm fat, sha mone.
(Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it. (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know. (Fat, fat, really really fat) And my shadow weighs forty-two pounds. Lemme tell you once again who's fat. If you see me comin' your way, better give me plenty space.
If I tell you that I'm hungry, then won't you feed my face? Because I'm fat, I'm fat, come on. (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it. (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know. (Fat, fat, really really fat) Woo woo woo, when I sit around the house, I really sit around the house.
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come on. (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know it. (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know, you know, you know, come on. (Fat, fat, really really fat) And you know all by myself I'm a crowd, Lemme tell you once again. You know I'm huge, I'm fat, you know it.
(Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, you know, ho. (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know. (Fat, fat, really really fat) And the whole world knows I'm fat and I'm proud; Just tell me once again who's fat?"
And the song ends as we cut back to the Juice Bar, where Lettuce is now unhealthily obese, as he waddles slowly and unsteadily with heavy, Darth Vader style breath to the usual table. But the mere exertion from walking causes him to pass out. The Rangers, now having to take action after Lettuce ignored their warnings, teleported to the Command Center.
Omnus and Hedrian were currently working on improvements to the Thunder Zords, to better suit their new masters' abilities. When Omnus saw Lettuce, he immediately rushed over to the unconscious penguin with concern on his face. "Alpha, run diagnostics. We need to make sure Lettuce is not in critical condition."
 "On it." the little robot replied, pressing some buttons on a few machines. Omnus turned to Usagi.
 "What happened? How did Lettuce's weight get so out of control?" he asked. Usagi explained what had happened, and the Eltarian man let out a sigh of disappointment.
 "So Lettuce's own hubris got a hold of him. Not to worry, however. I may just have a solution to this problem." With that, Omnus left to another part of the Command Center.
Meanwhile, in Queen Beryl's fortress, said evil queen was busy watching the events unfold. Ahzek Ahriman, her lover and second in command, was busy muttering ancient chaos magic incantations, and mixing up a potion for...something. So it was up to Kunzite to assist his queen in her plans, which he was all too happy to do. Upon seeing Lettuce in his current condition, a smirk of a genius idea spread across his face. "My queen, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
 Queen Beryl stared at him, a brow raised. "Are you suggesting we steal energy from health-conscious humans? Do you not remember that was one of Jadeite's schemes from our first conflicts with Sailor Moon?"
Ahzek says: "That was not what I was suggesting at all. That plan of Jadeite's failed for good reason if you recall. No, what I was thinking...well, this might sound rather ridiculous to you."
 "No plan is ridiculous if well-thought out enough." Beryl reassured him. For all her aloofness and cold-heartedness, Queen Beryl still cared about those beneath her and even against her. Kunzite could see, for a moment, a smile.
 Ahzek says: "Yes. Well, I was thinking: what if, instead of stealing energy from humans, we stole energy from food?"
 "Energy from food?" Beryl replied. "Surely you jest. Queen Metalia desires human energy, not food energy."
 "I do not." Kunzite said. "And I will tell you why, for my logic is sound. Sure, it may not have the same emotional connection as human energy, which is what Metalia feeds on. But if we stole energy from food, then it would be bland, tasteless and nutritionless. Humans would be susceptible to mass energy harvesting when they're weak enough from hunger. And harvesting energy from food? Surely the Rangers would think it was too ridiculous to even investigate!"
 Beryl pondered it over. "So, harvesting energy from food is just a front? Why did you not say that in the first place?"
 "Because as every good pitchman knows, you must first sell a ridiculous idea before selling a practical one." Ahzek interrupted.
 "Yes, exactly!" Kunzite said.
Zolsite says: "I don't remember Ahzek asking for YOUR opinion!"
Kunzite says: "No one ever seems to, unless Queen Beryl needs me to create another Youma, which inevitably gets destroyed! Need I remind you, it was MY idea to create the Love Bug, which is the ONLY reason why Lettuce is acting the way he is in the first place!"
Ahzek says: "That's the one thing I don't understand. The Love Bug was designed to make people/beings, fall madly in love with other people and/or beings, not food. What gives?"
Kunzite says: "Something I couldn't have anticipated. Apparently, Lettuce's 'Real' love for Pinkie Pie, over-rode any feelings for anyone else that the Love Bug could make him feel. So, she settled on making him fall in love with eating food. However, that oversight may work to our advantage in this case!"
Zolsite groans in detest, and says: "I hate it that YOU'RE the lucky one!"
Queen Beryl says: "Instead of complaining, why don't YOU make a Youma, to keep the Rangers from being distracted from stopping this evil plot of ours?!"
Ahzek asks: "With Zolsite's WEAK skills, you're JOKING, right?!"
Zolsite angrily asks: "What's THAT supposed to mean?!"
Ahzek says: "Even when Kunzite and Zolsite worked together to create a Youma, Fruit Freak, the Thunder Rangers STILL managed to take it down, and it was ONLY their first mission! With two teams of Rangers working about, the result would be FAR worse for us! And while I don't doubt your Youma making capabilities, we CAN'T just keep making Youma forever! After all, Radiguet will eventually make his way back to Core Earth! And I can only PROTECT Queen Beryl, I can't fight a war against Radiguet and his forces for you!"
Kunzite says: "So what do YOU suggest?"
Ahzek says: "I, myself, will attack the Rangers and carry out this plot! Besides, with my access to powers from the Chaos Realm, I'm the ONLY one who can successfully accomplish this plot!"
Zolsite says: "You DO know how dangerous it is for anyone, even YOU, to access powers to the Chaos Realm? The Chaos Realm doesn't CARE who you are, or what powers you have; they'll corrupt you all the same, and you'll lose sanity and composure, the longer you use them! You could become NOTHING but a host for a Chaos Realm demon, if you use those powers for too long!"
Ahzek says: "I only need to use these powers, long enough to generate power to revive Queen Metalia! We're currently at 30% capacity for the energy needed to revive her. If I set my sights for bringing that total to just 60%, that should speed up our plans enough to revive Queen Metalia, without putting any long-term ill effects on my overall sanity and composure."
Kunzite asks: "But what if BOTH teams of Power Rangers attack you?!"
Ahzek, with absolute DEAD seriousness, says: "Than may SLA'NEESH have mercy on my soul, if such a thing exists! Farewell!"
And Ahzek disappears in a puff of smoke! Zolsite says: "Is it just me, or are we losing hired help by the Galactic Standard Month?!"
Kunzite says: "Rest assured, you'll never see ME performing NO suicide mission against the Power Rangers; Thunder OR otherwise!" /
The action shifts back to the Command Center. Coop looks over the very fat Lettuce, and he says: "This is WORSE than the time Yin and Yang ate nothing but SWEETS for a month, and nearly got themselves cooked and eaten by a witch for their naivety! Or so I've heard!"
Lettuce cries in anguish, and bellows: "I'm so hideous! Pinkie, how can you love a man who such a humongous FREAK?!"
Pinkie says: "I've seen much worse! YOU never had to deal with Tirac, he nearly DESTROYED Equestria, and he WOULD'VE, if Discord didn't betray HIM!"
Usagi says: "This is PRECISELY what happens, when you don't take care of your health!"
Samson says: "He's going to have to exercise the fat off, and eat nothing but low-calorie, healthy foods, that's all there is to it. That's how I gained MY muscles!"
StarHawk says: "That only fixes PART of the problem! The question is, how do we make it so Lettuce doesn't go BACK to eating unhealthy foods?"
Lettuce says: "I haven't felt the desire to eat healthy foods since Love Bug tried to zap me with her love ray!"
D.O.G.'s eyes light up, and he says: "Say that again!"
Lettuce asks: "The part about being a humongous freak?"
BlackHawk says: "No, the part where Love Bug zapped you! Queen Hedrian, how are your magic skills?! Can you diagnose Lettuce?"
Queen Hedrian says: "I'm a former evil galactic conqueror! Not a dietician! But yes, I can and WILL diagnose him!"
Queen Hedrian waves her wand over Lettuce's stomach, and visualizes the content of Lettuce's stomach, and everyone is SHOCKED at the image! Naruto says: "No WAY!!!!"
And everyone sees a BUNCH of Love Bug viruses attacking the hormones and other cells of Lettuce's stomach, causing Lettuce to growl in hunger! Queen Hedrian rolls her eyes, and says: "Boy, if I had a dollar for EVERY TIME some brain dead idiot had the 'Bright' idea, to try to attack somebody with an eating disorder from the INSIDE of their body, I'd have at LEAST five dollars!"
Pinkie says: "It's just like the time Mirror brainwashed me to crave NOTHING but sweets! A few of you remember the ordeal you had to go through in order to stop me! So, the cure should be just as simple!"
Omnus says: "If only that were the case. That was a mere spell you were under, Pinkie. This is monster viruses inside of Lettuce's body. The thing of it is, HE'S hungry, but with Love Bug viruses inside of him, aggravating his body, THEY are getting ALL of the nutrients, while Lettuce gets NOTHING but the unhealthy filler!"
Lettuce asks: "So, it's not my fault I'm like this?"
Krash'ir says: "Oh, no! You're not getting off the hook THAT easily! You DID let your own hubris get to this point! And now, it's going to be your own possible blood, sweat, and/or tears that's going to help you get out of this, not necessarily in that order!"
Lettuce asks: "Can you ask Captain Retro to train me, like he did some of you guys?"
Scrappy-Doo says: "I already TRIED calling him, but apparently, he's on vacation in Albuquerque, New Mexico!"
Coop is puzzled, and asks: "Albuquerque?! What's he doing in Albuquerque?!"
Scrappy-Doo says: "Dang it if I know what his reason is!"
Patsy says: "You mean you DIDN'T get an answer from him?!"
Scrappy-Doo says: "Not exactly, but I did get SOME kind of message from him!"
He holds up a vintage 2021 smart phone, and Scrappy-Doo says: "Do you want to hear the message I got?! I'll tell you the message I got!"
He plays the message, and inexplicably, a snippet of Weird Al Yankovic's hit song "Albuquerque" plays! Weird Al sings: "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator. If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator in Albuquerque. Albuquerque."
Scrappy-Doo turns off the cell phone, and he says: "And THAT'S just the part of the message that was actually RELEVANT! The whole thing LASTED for like, eleven minutes or something!"
Alpha 8 asks: "So, no other news from Captain Retro?"
Scrappy-Doo says: "Well, he DID text me to say that he was otherwise indisposed, but he would be sending a surrogate helper to aid in helping out Lettuce."
Omnus asks: "A surrogate helper? Who would THAT be?"
Scrappy-Doo says: "Now that, I'm not sure. But he...she...whatever! Goes by the initials 'M. M.' as their stage name."
Lettuce says: "Well THAT'S maddeningly unhelpful!"
Omnus says: "In any case, someone will have to make SURE Lettuce exercises and eats right! And by 'Someone', I mean Scrappy-Doo!"
Scrappy-Doo asks: "Wait! Why me?!"
Alpha 8 says: "Well, we do have to send ONE team of Rangers inside of Lettuce's body, in order to fight the Love Bug viruses, and completely eliminate them! Otherwise, Lettuce will inevitably go back to eating junk food, no matter HOW strong his will power is! No offense, Lettuce!"
Lettuce says: "None taken, I think!"
Firehawk asks: "And what about US?! May I dare ask?!"
(WHIR! WHIR!) And as if RIGHT on cue, the alarms in the Command Center go off! Alpha 8 says: "Aye-yai-yai-yai-yai! Ahzek is zapping all the food around the world with some kind of energy, but our sensors are unable to detect and lock down on it!"
BlackHawk's eyes widen in horror, and he says: "I can feel that energy. That's NOT mortal energy, that's energy from the Chaos Realm!"
Naruto says: "He WOULDN'T! Would he?"
Patsy says: "I'm a little new here, but what's the Chaos Realm?"
BlackHawk says: "It's a HORRIBLE place! The Night Master once sent me there when I was six! I only lasted the equivalent of six Core Earth minutes there, but ever since then, my body's had an energy connection to that place! Anytime someone uses energy utilizing Chaos Realm abilities, I can sense it! It's also part of the reason why I was able to seal General Krush back to the Chaos Realm in the first place! Since I had been there, I could seal IT back!"
Coop says: "But the Chaos Realm can't be THAT horrible; can it?"
Krash'ir says: "Well, the rest of you haven't even BEEN there! I COME from the Chaos Realm, don't tell ME what the Chaos Realm is like! You go through what Usagi and I had to go through, THEN you can tell us whether or not the Chaos Realm is THAT bad or not!"
D.O.G. asks: "What DID you have to go through?"
Usagi sourly says: "You do NOT want to know! Take MY word for it!"
Queen Hedrian asks: "What could Ahzek POSSIBLY be thinking?!"
Usagi says: "There's only ONE possible explanation; some kind of plot to speed up Queen Metalia's resurrection!"
Pinkie says: "They're still ON that whole thing?!"
StarHawk says: "Well, what else could it be? Their forces are formidable, but even if Queen Beryl utilized ALL her Youma forces against Radiguet, the chances that SHE could win would STILL be very slim, and that's ONLY if Radiguet HASN'T been level grinding, WHICH I highly doubt!"
Patsy says: "Than Lettuce can wait until later! We'll fight Ahzek, to!"
BlackHawk says: "This time is different! Ahzek is NOTHING like Love Bug or Fruit Freak! If Ahzek is willing to utilize Chaos Realm powers at the cost of his own sanity, he MUST be desperate to get Queen Metalia revived in a hurry! After all, Queen Metalia may be the ONLY being that COULD actually stand a chance against Radiguet's full power! If Ahzek gets backed into a corner, he'll get desperate. And the DESPERATE villains are ALWAYS the most dangerous villains to watch out for!"
Samson asks: "So, what should we do?"
Omnus says: "Thunder Rangers, you'll proceed into Lettuce's body as planned! If my guess is correct, Ahzek must be zapping the food items of Core Earth, in order to induce something similar that Lettuce is going through right now!"
Coop asks: "Wait! If Lettuce is eating because he's technically NOT getting the calories, than Ahzek MUST be zapping the food items, in order to DRAIN the calories from them! Without the proper nourishment, many will panic, and that would just about DOUBLE the current energy capacity needed for Queen Metalia's revival!"
Queen Hedrian looks dumbstruck, and she says: "That's...actually pretty spot-on, Coop."
Coop says: "I had a VERY tough Fifth Grade course! There's no WAY I wasn't going to learn SOMETHING from it!"
Krash'ir says: "Anyways, how are we supposed to fight the Love Bug viruses, anyways?"
Alpha 8 pulls back a curtain, and reveals a ship that wouldn't look out of place on "Fantastic Voyage"! D.O.G. says: "WOAH! And I thought my younger brother was retro, in terms of references!"
Coop says: "Billy and I modified this thing ourselves! It may look simple, but where it counts, it's REALLY got a lot! But, we're in bit of a rush; so, I suggest we get on with it!"
Omnus says: "Right! Everyone except Lettuce, intercept Ahzek and stop him! Removing his ties to his Chaos Realm powers will reverse his effects! Thunder Rangers, morph, and head into the Interbody Ship! But be careful; just because the Love Bug viruses will be tiny, that doesn't make them any less dangerous! And you'll be tiny, as well!"
Samson says: "Just out of curiosity, how LONG will we be shrunk? And I don't mean medically, either!"
Coop says: "The Shrink Ray can keep the Interbody Ship and anyone inside of it, shrunk for one Core Earth hour! BUT...to be on the safe side, let's try and finish this in fifty-five minutes, so we're NOT pushing it! Because, if the ship were to grow back to regular size in Lettuce's body, it would break apart, EXPLODING!"
Lettuce winces, and he says: "I could've LIVED, WITHOUT that unnecessary image in my head!"
Krash'ir says: "I'm NOT going to let it come to that! You better believe it!"
Omnus says: "Scrappy-Doo, you take Lettuce so he can get fit again!"
BlackHawk says: "You might as well use Adam's gym, he gives a 10% discount to Power Rangers, as long as you have the proper identification."
Scrappy-Doo says: "Well, it will cut into MY training, but I'll do it!"
Omnus says: "Right! Rangers, you know what to do!"
BlackHawk says: "Right! It's Morphing Time!" /
A five screen-split shot of Naruto, Usagi, Pinkie, StarHawk, and FireHawk morphing is seen, followed by a solo shot of BlackHawk morphing and saying: "Power of the Sun! Gold!" /
And the normal Power Rangers, minus Lettuce warp to intercept Ahzek! Queen Hedrian says: "Thunder Rangers, its your turn!"
Patsy says: "Right! It's morphing time!" /
Krash'ir says: “Blue Kirin Thunderzord power!”
Samson says: “Red Dragon Thunderzord power!”
Patsy says: “Pink Phoenix Thunderzord power!”
Coop grows to FULL adult height, and he says: “Green Lion Thunderzord power!”
D.O.G. says: "Yellow Korin Thunderzord power!” /
They finish morphing, and Alpha 8 says: "Right! Into the Interbody Ship! Rangers, and keep your wits about you! The molecular world can be an outright nuclear nightmare if you're not careful!"
Krash'ir says: "I've personally been through FAR worse, but I'll take your word for it."
They enter the Interbody Ship, buckle up, and close the entrance hatch! Omnus says: "They're ready, Alpha. Shrink them now!"
Scrappy says: "I sure hope the Interbody Ship's warranty will cover this!"
Alpha 8 turns on a shrinking ray, and zaps the Interbody Ship until it's the size of a medicine pill capsule! Alpha 8 picks up the Ship, holds it over Lettuce's beak, and Alpha says: "Open up, Lettuce! It's time for the pill!"
Lettuce says: "Barnacles, I hate the pill!"
But Lettuce opens up, Alpha 8 drops the Ship into Lettuce's mouth, and the tiny ship is quickly sent through the esophagus, straight into Lettuce's stomach! Samson says: "Wow! That was a lot faster than I thought it would be!"
Coop says: "It's Lettuce's hunger! He's not getting any nutrients, so his stomache is desperate to have something fill the void in his body!"
A bunch of Love Bug Viruses surround the ship, and they all talk in unison, like a Hive Mind, saying: "Hello, Thunder Rangers! Remember us?!"
Patsy says: "I'm not likely to forget YOU anytime soon!"
The Love Bug Viruses say: "You may have destroyed our creator, but our presence is alive and well inside Lettuce! You couldn't even take on ONE of her, the last time! How will you fare against an army of us?!"
D.O.G. says: "It will take a LOT more than a CHEAP shot to fight against us THIS time! We've received training from MY brother! Krash'ir, fire up this Interbody Ship and see what it can do!"
Krash'ir says: "All right! But we need to be careful! Remember, we're STILL in Lettuce's body for...how long before we NEED to get out of here?"
Coop says: "53 minutes."
Krash'ir says: "Just until then! Let's ROCK their world!"
And the Interbody Ship unveils their medicinal weaponry, in energy torpedoes and rockets, and begins zapping the Love Bug Viruses! /
Outside of Lettuce's body, Lettuce says: "I'm already feeling SOMETHING happening! They must be returning my body's appetite back to normal!"
Queen Hedrian says: "Good! Scrappy-Doo, can you ROLL Lettuce down to Adam's gym at once, please?"
Scrappy-Doo says: "Why do I have to ROLL him?! Can't you just warp us there?!"
Omnus says: "It WILL burn off some of his calories!"
Lettuce and Scrappy-Doo simultaneously say: "Fine! HEY! How did YOU know I was going to say that?! And THAT?! This is weird! Antidisestablishmentarianism! Seriously?!"
Queen Hedrian can't help but chuckle! Queen Hedrian says: "Sorry! That's actually pretty funny!"
Omnus sighs, and says: "It's a fair cop."
And Scrappy-Doo carefully rolls Lettuce down to Adam's gym. Once they get there, while Lettuce goes through a montage of diet and exercise, the Thunder Rangers go through a montage of destroying all the Love Bug viruses inside of Lettuce's body, all to the tune of Olivia Newton John's, "Physical"! /
Olivia sings: "I'm saying all the things that I know you'll like, making good conversation. I gotta handle you just right; you know what I mean! I took you to an intimate restaurant, then to a suggestive movie. There's nothing left to talk about unless it's horizontally. Let's get physical, physical, I wanna get physical, Let's get into physical. Let me hear your body talk, your body talk, let me hear your body talk. Let's get physical, physical, I wanna get physical, Let's get into physical. Let me hear your body talk, your body talk, let me hear your body talk. I've been patient, I've been good, tried to keep my hands on the table. It's gettin' hard this holdin' back, if you know what I mean. I'm sure you'll understand my point of view, we know each other mentally. You gotta know that you're bringin' out the animal in me. Let's get physical, physical, I wanna get physical, let's get into physical. Let me hear your body talk, your body talk, let me hear your body talk. Let's get physical, physical, I wanna get physical, let's get into physical. Let me hear your body talk, your body talk, Let me hear your body talk. (Guitar solo) Oh, let's get physical, physical, I wanna get physical, let's get into physical! Let me hear your body talk, your body talk, let me hear your body talk. Oh, let's get animal, animal, I wanna get animal, let's get into animal! Let me hear your body talk, your body talk, let me hear your body talk! Let me your body talk, your body talk, let me hear your body talk!" /
And by the time the Thunder Rangers have reduced the Love Bug Viruses to a mere five of them, Lettuce has reduced his fat, not completely BACK to his normal weight, but STILL far lighter and less wide than at his heaviest! Samson says: "All right, Love Bug Viruses, you've got one last chance to make this easy on yourself! Are you going to do this easy, or hard?"
The five Love Bug Viruses simultaneously say: "The Love Bugs choose to do this...HARD!!!! I guess we'll have to get serious!"
They interlock their arms together, and they say: "Group formation, HO!!!!"
And the five Love Bug Viruses merge together, and grow from a 1/16th inch group of five monsters, into a (much bigger seeming to the pill sized Interbody Ship), singular six inch Love Bug parasite! The bigger sized Love Bug says: "How do you like THESE apples, Thunder Rangers? You may have been able to destroy tiny viruses of us, but you'll NEVER destroy THIS gigantic parasite!"
Patsy says: "If I had a dollar for everytime a monster said, 'NEVER', before they got destroyed...well, I'm not sure HOW many dollars I'd have, but I'm SURE it would be a lot!"
D.O.G. activates his communicator, and asks: "Omnus, what should we do?"
Omnus says: "Put the Thunder Cannon into the weapons bay of the Interbody Ship. The Interbody Ship! The energy pulsars will supercharge the weapon, and destroy that virus once and for all!"
Coop says: "On it!"
The Thunder Rangers put their Energy orbs into the Thunder Cannon, and lock it into the weapons bay! The Love Bug Virus Parasite says: "What are you waiting for?! Hit me with your BEST shot!"
Krash'ir says: "Be careful what you wish for! FIRE AWAY!!!!"
And they fire at the Love Bug Virus Parasite, and the blast is FATAL! The Love Bug Virus Parasite says: "Looks like I bit off, more than I could chew!"
And it falls over, exploding! Samson says: "That should take care of Lettuce's hunger problems!"
Coop looks at the time remaining clock, and he says: "And LITERALLY not a minute to spare! Our fifty-five minutes our almost up!"
So the Interbody ship zooms out of Lettuce's body, out of his beak as quick as it can, and zooms outside of Adam's gym, until it's parked into a wide enough space for the Interbody Ship to safely grow back into it's normal size! Patsy says: "That was a wild ride!...Not that I'd WANT to do it again anytime soon! But Coop, why did you want to get out of Lettuce's body in fifty-five minutes? We HAD a whole hour!"
Coop says: "Simple! Because trying to cut it TOO close...!"
And at that moment, the Interbody Ship (and everyone in it,) grows BACK to normal size, and onlookers are understandably surprised (though not shocked, since they've all seen FAR stranger by this point), and Coop finishes saying: "...Is for chumps!"
Lettuce waddles out of the gym, and he says: "Thank you Thunder Rangers, for taking care of my problem! But, why am I still a little chunky?! I've been exercising!"
D.O.G. says: "Hey! A 50 minute montage can only take CARE of so much! It will still require a little bit of work to get back to your normal weight!"
Lettuce sighs, and says: "Understandable."
Lettuce activates his communicator, and he says: "Talk to me Omnus, what's the situation?"
Omnus says: "Lettuce, the other Power Rangers are holding their own against Ahzek, but they need your help to take them down. Thunder Rangers and Scrappy-Doo, stay on standby in case we need the extra muscle for this task!"
Scrappy says: "On it!"
And Lettuce says: "It's morphing time!" /
Lettuce says: "Power of Jupiter! Lightning!" /
And Lettuce warps, and manages to kick Ahzek RIGHT before he's about to punch Naruto! Naruto says: "You really know how to make an entrance, Lettuce! We've been having a TERRIBLE time dealing with Ahzek's Chaos Realm dark light creations!"
Lettuce whips out his hammer, and he says: "Well, it's time to cut the knot!"
Ahzek says: "You think THAT archaic weapon SCARES me?!"
Lettuce says: "It should! Eat THIS!"
And Lettuce swings down as HARD as he can! Ahzek tries to BLOCK the blow with his hands; but apparently, this is what LETTUCE was hoping for, because Lettuce confidantly says: "All right, let's see you fight now!"
Ahzek says: "You've GOT it!"
And Ahzek tries to zap the Rangers, but NOTHING comes out of his hands! Ahzek says: "What did you DO to me?!"
Lettuce says: "The simplest thing in the world! You conduct your energy only through your hands! Physically disable them, and YOU can't use your powers anymore, meaning YOU can't keep your energy connection to the Chaos Realm, anymore!" /
And sure enough, Kunzite and Zolsite watch in horror, as the gauge for Queen Metalia's revival, currently at 60% capacity, drops all the way back down to 35%! Kunzite says: "That stinking little Lettuce! And only 5% more energy obtained after ALL Ahzek's posturing?! This day couldn't get ANY worse!!!!"
Than a loud thunderclap is heard, that they, Ahzek, and the Power Rangers all simultaneously hear! Zolsite, worringly, says: "It COULD get worse, and I think that it's about to!"
Ahzek worringly says: "No! It CAN'T be! My calculations should've been correct! There's no WAY that a Chaos Demon could--AHHH! AHHH! AHHHH!!!!!!!"
Pinkie asks: "What's happening to him?!"
BlackHawk seriously says: "It's just what I was afraid of! Ahzek tapped too MUCH into the Chaos Realm! He's opened a portal, allowing a Chaos Realm to infect and take over his body!"
StarHawk says: "But who would THAT be?!"
Than, to EVERYONE'S surprise, Ahzek's body BREAKS apart, and reveals a familiar creature that Lettuce, Pinkie, Naruto, Usagi, and BlackHawk haven't seen for one FULL season! The reptilian-like creature, General Krush, licks his reptilian lips, and says: "Hey, BlackHawk! Remember me? Because I sure remember you!"
Usagi says: "I can't BELIEVE we have to deal with YOU again! Well, BlackHawk sealed you back into the Chaos Realm once! He can do it again!"
General Krush chuckles maliciously, and he says: "I'm afraid that's not going to work this time. You see, I've taken that factor into account! You see, there's a reason WHY I infected Ahzek. You see, I needed to absorb his mortal body and energy. By doing so, I have shed all traces of my connection to the Chaos Realm, weaknesses included, so you CAN'T send me back to the Chaos Realm!"
Naruto says: "Than we can just simply beat you up! It would be EASY!"
General Krush says: "I have no doubt you'd try! However, you are in LUCK today! I am in no mood to fight you, having just gotten here. And even if I were, I probably wouldn't be able to make full use of my powers as they are! So, I'll bide my time! And as for YOU, BlackHawk, I can't WAIT to pay you back for sealing me BACK to the Chaos Realm, so just watch yourself! We will meet again, HA!!!!"
And General Krush vanishes in a black ray of light! FireHawk sarcastically says: "Anyone care to wager on WHERE General Krush has vanished to?" /
The scene shifts to the Diabolic, General Krush appears, and he says: "If anyone guessed THIS place, they win! I don't know WHAT they win, but they WIN!"
Kraky is startled, and says: "You! What are YOU doing here?!"
Vipera says: "You are NOT welcome back here, and you know it!"
Baphomet says: "You humiliated me and made a fool out of me!"
Drako says: "And forced ME to work with the Power Rangers! Why do you THINK we would let you stay here?!"
General Krush says: "You must forgive me. You see, it was my connection to the Chaos Realm that FORCED me to act that way! I have SHED my connection to the Chaos Realm! I have a mortal body now! True, that means I won't be able to heal as quickly or as effortlessly as I used to be able to, but NOT having to constantly kill for the Blood God on HIS whims anymore; I'd say that advantage FAR outweighs the drawbacks!"
Vipera says: "But WHY would you come back here?"
General Krush says: "Simple. I know that I wouldn't be welcome at Queen Beryl's. You see, I DID have to kind of absorb and kill Ahzek's mortal body, so that my body would in exchange become mortal. But I just want you to know, that I bare no ill will towards any of you for what you did against me. And to prove it, I would like to join your ranks, as a loyal general!"
Kraky says: "We COULD use another soldier! With Circe gone, we could stand to have all the help that we can get!"
Drako thinks about it, and he says: "All right, you're in. But you BETTER behave yourself this time! We will NOT tolerate any funny business!"
General Krush smiles, and he says: "Don't worry. You'll be BEGGING to keep ME!" /
At Queen Beryl's place, she is crying uncontrollably! Kunzite rolls his eyes, and says: "MAN!!!! And I thought Jaedite was bad whenever HE had a bad hair day!"
Queen Beryl says: "Ahzek was my lover! My confidant! My go-to! My muse! How could I ever go on without him?!"
And without missing a beat, who should warp in except Abaddon?! Abaddon says: "Hi, honey! I'm home!"
Zolsite says: "Oh, right! Abaddon! The guy who for some reason, we conveniently forgot about until just now! Where have YOU been?!"
Abaddon says: "Investigating the Chaos Realm, and I just discovered something SHOCKING!"
Queen Beryl says: "That Ahzek's mortal life force has been stolen, and is now being used by General Krush, who has COME from the Chaos Realm?!"
Abaddon is surprised, and says: "Actually, I missed that part! But, I do believe that I may have found the reason why General Krush might have done that!"
Kunzite asks: "Really?! Why?"
Abaddon says: "Simple. General Krush was activating on a prophecy, laid down by Aslan himself! It says; 'The year that is twenty years before the beginning of the 23rd century, will be the END of the Chaos Realm!' Next year IS the year that is supposed to happen! I mean, how else COULD Radiguet possibly be able to take out T'zeene'tch like he was NOTHING?! I'm guessing that's why General Krush chose to get out of the Chaos Realm and leave it behind! He wanted to leave, while he STILL had a chance to do so!"
Queen Beryl says: "So, THAT'S why Radiguet is doing what he's doing! He believes that HE is the one, who will bring an end to the Chaos Realm!"
Abaddon says: "Yes. The trouble is, I'm not sure if that will end up being a GOOD thing, or not! After all, for as long as evil has attacked the forces of good, we've always relied on the powers of the Chaos Realm, directly or otherwise! Without them, how are we supposed to fight against the Power Rangers and their ilk?!"
Queen Beryl says: "Well, Radiguet obviously found a way, if he was able to successfully defeat T'zeene'tch. We'll just have to find a way of our own! And I believe reviving Queen Metalia will be our way, of severing our reliance to the Chaos Realm!"
Zolsite asks: "Do you really believe we can do it?"
Queen Beryl says: "I believe if we put our minds to it, we can do ANYTHING! Now, give MAMA some sugar, my love!"
And Queen Beryl and Abaddon make a GHASTLY display of carnal love, and Kunzite asks: "But what about Ahzek?!"
Queen Beryl increduously asks: "Ahzek WHO?!"
And continues to her love-making as if it were just another Tuesday to her! Zolsite groans, and says: "Oh, boy! This is SIX years of therapy right here! I'm just going to look over THERE and--oh, look! It's a SPONGE Cake! THAT'S what I was looking for!"
Kunzite says: "I SWEAR to Sla'neesh, I will LITERALLY kill myself if they EVER have kids!" /
Lettuce, the Power Rangers, the Thunder Rangers, and Scrappy-Doo, all arrive at an outdoor ampitheater, where Kira Ford has often played in the past. Lettuce says: "So, thank you for, not treating me like a social pariah when I went crazy. I...promise to do my best to NOT get infected by any monster's spell or virus infection anymore in the future. That's the best that I can honestly promise."
FireHawk says: "Well, I'm glad YOU had fun!"
Pinkie says: "And what's THAT supposed to mean?!"
FireHawk says: "I BARELY got to do anything important in this episode...of my life! Even the Thunder Rangers saw more action than ME, and they're just the Auxiliary Rangers!"
Samson says: "You know we're right HERE and can HEAR every single word you're saying!"
FireHawk says: "Than I don't have to repeat myself!"
Lettuce says: "What I really want to know is, why did you bring me to this ampitheater?"
Scrappy-Doo says: "Because Captain Retro says this is where you'll meet M.M., remember?"
Lettuce says: "Well, yes. But I still don't know..."
But before Lettuce can finish his thought, the lights turn on and colored spotlights focus on the center of the stage. A hole opens up, and who should rise out of it, except inexplicably, MARILYN MANSON?!!! Lettuce says: "Is that...Marilyn FREAKING Manson?!!! AHHH!!!!"
And he falls on the ground in utter amazement! Patsy says: "Okay, Scrappy-Doo. Who did you HAVE to bribe to get Marilyn Manson to appear here?"
Scrappy-Doo incredulously asks: "SERIOUSLY?! Why am I always the first to get blamed for everything that even LOOKS suspicious?!"
Lettuce asks: "Oh, Marilyn Manson, how does a growing boy like me eat a healthy, balanced diet?"
Marilyn says: "Well, Lettuce, I'll tell you; the only way I know how."
And Marilyn begins singing "The Food Pyramid Song" from his appearance in the original run of "Clone High".
Marilyn sings: "The ancient Pharoahs were not too bright, they say. But they made one contribution that I live by to this day; it's the food pyramid, and it's approved by the U.S.D.A. Oh, grains are the foundation, so please take my advice. Have five to eleven servings, of bread, cereal, or rice. Three to five of vegetables, and four fruits is best. Their antioxidants and fiber, help you to digest. Three servings of, yougurt, milk, and cheese, will help your bones and subsidize the cattle industries. A body needs to grow, and grow, it takes routines. That's why meat can be a tasty treat like fish or human being."
Coop interjects: "Only if you're a member of the Donner Party from late 1846 to early 1847; but otherwise, it's not recommended in civilized society, or MOST societies, for THAT matter!"
Marilyn sings: "When you eat your sweets, make sure you try, to limit your servings, or you'll DIE!!!! Everybody!"
And everybody else inexplicably joins in singing: "My body is a pyramid, it's made of healthy food, so do what we say, eat right every day. I love you. Buy American."
And everyone claps as the episode fades to black. /
Episode Stinger:
Scrappy-Doo meets up with Captain Retro at the Albuquerque Holiday Inn, in Albuquerque New Mexico. Apparently, Captain Retro is engrossed in playing "Dragonball Xenoverse 2" for the Nintendo Switch. Scrappy-Doo says: "Captain Retro, Lettuce is back to normal weight now! The Magi-Mother wants you to come back to Coastal Falls, now!"
Captain Retro pauses the game, and he says: "It's over? That took LONGER than it ever should have! I've just finished celebrating National 'No Interfering With Power Rangers Plots' Day!"
Scrappy-Doo weirdly asks: "National 'No Interfering With Power Rangers Plots' Day?"
Captain Retro says: "Yeah! It's a whole day dedicated to avoiding any WERID stuff that the Power Rangers have to go through!"
Scrappy-Doo screams: "A DAY?!!!! But you've been away for WEEKS!!!!"
Captain Retro blushes, and says: "Yeah, well, I kind of milked it, a LITTLE!"
Scrappy-Doo shouts: "A LITTLE?!"
Captain Retro, exasperated, says: "Okay! I milked it a LOT! The thing of it is, it was my BIRTHDAY!"
Scrappy-Doo says: "But your birthday's on August 27th!"
Captain Retro says: "I don't experience time flow the same way you guys do! I'm on MY time wave length, and everybody else is on their present/future time length! And besides, weird things, tend to happen on my birthday, and I just didn't feel like dealing with the whole thing, which is why I got Marilyn Manson to do it!"
Scrappy-Doo says: "So, you went on a sabbatical to Albuquerque, New Mexico, to play video games and who knows what else for WEEKS, JUST because you didn't want to deal with whatever Lettuce was going through?!"
Captain Retro groans, and says: "FINE! That's what I did! I never SAID I was PERFECT, you know! But the difference is, at least I ADMIT that I'm not perfect! Also, we are NEVER to speak of this moment to Omnus, or anyone else again!"
Scrappy-Doo says: "No promises!" /
And the episode truly ends! /

Episode Notes: The beginning of the episode, and the end of the episode prior to the stinger was written/suggested by Renegade, the middle and the stinger were written by 4EverGreen. Included songs include "Fat", a snippet of "Albuquerque", "Physical", and "The Food Pyramid Song". Ahzek is killed by an unexpectedly returning General Krush, who absors Ahzek's mortal life force in order to sever his ties to the Chaos Realm, and NOT be able to be sent back there ever again! General Krush goes to work for Vipera, due to the very reasonable assumption that he would not be welcomed in by Queen Beryl. Part of this story was inspired by "Fantastic Voyage", and the ending of the second episode of season one of the original "Clone High". No personal notes this time, because the episode has gone on as long enough as it is. Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

I've decided to go full-steam ahead and publish as many re-runs as I can, just so that I can get my mind off of them! I hope you enjoy this one! / Sniz is in a dance studio, and he says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, (Clips of the previous episode play throughout), we were down to the Final Four; Po, Jenny, Bubble Bass and Private. Po and Jenny made the BIG mistake of insulting Private's seeming lack of challenge potential right in FRONT of him, unleashing a primal beast that neither of them saw coming! Private made an alliance with Bubble Bass to vote off either Po or Jenny, determined by which contestant won the challenge; but the challenge got interrupted, by none other than Anti-Cosmo! But when Anti-Cosmo threatened to bring the evil Master Coelaceanth back to life, that's when I decided that enough was enough, and I had Wanda, pull the plug on the magic being supplied to the Anti-Fairies. Afterwards, I had Jenny, fling both Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof, out of the game! During the confusion, Private managed to actually WIN the contest in record speed, winning immunity for himself, and ensuring elimination for Po, much to the absolute hatred of Tigress! Unfortunately, Anti-Cosmo's spell managed to hit Master Coelaceanth, and bring him back as an un-dead fish, and who should land close to him, ALSO seeking revenge, except Tigress?! That's right, Tigress was FURIOUS that Po had lost, and took it upon herself to bring Master Coelaceanth to us, by any means necessary! (The Clips End) Wanda, have you been able to pin-point their location yet?" Wanda shakes her head, and says: "Unfortunately, no! I had Jaundissimo look into it, but we haven't been able to lock down where Master Coelaceanth IS, yet! All we know is that, he's still on his way here!" Sniz says: "Well, keep looking! I mean, I'm SURE we'll be able to handle him, but hopefully, we won't have to! Still, better get this place prepared, just in case!" Wanda says: "On it, Sniz!" And Wanda flies away! Sniz says: "While Wanda gets this place secure, we'll move right into our next challenge! There are only three contestants left; Jenny, Private, and Bubble Bass! One more contestant will face elimination, before we move to the last challenge, featuring the Final Two! Who will make it to the end? Find out in a sizzling episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! It's hot!" /

Instead of the normal show open, a collage of all the best dance moves from the previous four seasons play, all to the tune of Whitney Houston's hit song: "I Wanna Dance With Somebody Who Loves Me!" / Whitney sings: "Huh, yeah, woo! Hey yeah, huh! Ooh yeah, uh huh, yeah! I wanna dance! Clock strikes upon the hour, and the sun begins to fade. Still enough time to figure out how to chase my blues away. I've done alright up 'til now. It's the light of day that shows me how! And when the night falls, Loneliness calls. Oh, I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat with somebody! Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody; with somebody who loves me! Oh, I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat with somebody! Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody; with somebody who loves me! I've been in love and lost my senses, spinning through the town. Sooner or later, the fever ends, and I wind up feeling down. I need a man who'll take a chance on a love that burns hot enough to last! So when the night falls, my lonely heart calls. Oh, I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat with somebody! Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody; with somebody who loves me! Oh, I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat! Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody; with somebody who loves me! Somebody who, somebody who; somebody who loves me! Somebody who, somebody who; to hold me in his arms, oh! I need a man who'll take a chance on a love that burns hot enough to last! So when the night falls, my lonely heart calls! Oh, I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat with somebody! Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody; with somebody who loves me! Oh, I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat with somebody! Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody; with somebody who loves me! Oooh, Dance! You know, baby! Dance! Woo, yeah! Dance! Now get with this! Woah! Don't you wanna dance (dance) with me, baby? Don't you wanna dance (dance) with me, boy? Hey, don't you wanna dance (dance) with me, baby?! With somebody who loves me! Don't you wanna dance? Say you wanna dance? Don't you wanna dance? Dance! Don't you wanna dance? Say you wanna dance? Don't you wanna dance? Dance! Don't you wanna dance? Say you wanna dance, uh-huh! Dance! With somebody who loves me! Oooh! Dance! Oooh! Dance! Oooh! Dance!" / And the opening sequence ends! / "Dancing Machine!" /

The show opens up proper, in Bubble Bass' hotel room, where Bubble Bass is taking a shower, and talking to Blonda on speaker phone. Blonda says: "So, what most people DON'T realize is not only DID I ghostwrite Whitney Houston's hit song of "I Wanna Dance With Somebody Who Loves Me", I taught her ALL of the dance moves she used in the music video for that song. Of course, if I had KNOWN the kind of life she was going to have afterwards, I would've advised her against doing some things!" Bubble Bass asks: "What things?" Blonda says: "That, I can't answer; lest I potentially fall victim to slander, which is the LAST thing either of us want!" Bubble Bass says: "Fair enough!" Bubble Bass turns off the shower and dries himself, and Blonda says: "So, how IS your situation working out for you?" Bubble Bass says: "Pretty good! It's AMAZING what you can do, when all you need is bubbles!" And he demonstrates by surrounding himself with bubbles! Blonda says: "I'll admit it's impressive, but you better be prepared for the upcoming challenge!" Bubble Bass says: "Do you know what it's going to be about?" Blonda says: "Even if I did, I wouldn't be allowed to tell you! But in any case, it's the second to last challenge of the season, so it will probably be harder than anything you've faced before! And you're not exactly at an advantage, right now!" Bubble Bass asks: "Why is that?" Blonda says: "You lost the LAST challenge! The only reason YOU'RE still around, is that Private kept HIS end of the deal! There's no telling if he'll do so a SECOND time!" Bubble Bass says: "Private is as worried about Jenny as I am. I trust him enough to keep his word. I've kept mine so far!" Blonda says: "There's something else you need to know." Bubble Bass says: "About how you're doing?" Blonda says: "No, I'm still doing fine. I'm talking about Master Coelaceanth, Anti-Cosmo's spell HIT Master Coelaceanth's body before his magic powers were shut off; he's been brought back as an un-dead fish, and he's heading your way! He wants REVENGE on Spongebob!" Bubble Bass asks: "Why Spongebob?! My DAD was the one who threw him off a cliff, and Oonski the Great was the one who beheaded him!" Blonda says: "Both statements are true, but Master Coelaceanth wants revenge for Dennis! Master Coelaceanth had groomed him, to follow him as successor to his empire, and Spongebob, indirectly or otherwise, was responsible for Dennis' unfortunate demise! Master Coelaceanth wants revenge for THAT! And WORSE; Tigress is HELPING him, to get REVENGE against YOU!"

Bubble Bass sputters, and he asks: "What didn't she GET about OUR partnership?! I made it SPECIFICALLY CLEAR that I was only going to help her as LONG as she was a contestant! I certainly did NOT promise her that I was going to throw my OWN game away, just so Po could win, and satisfy her enormous ego! She might have HELPED me become a better contestant, but that's ALL that's she done! I'm certainly NOT willing to simply ALLOW her to walk all over ME, and anyone ELSE that she wants to! I'm standing up for myself!" Blonda says: "Bubble Bass, lest you forget, Katarra already TRIED that, and Tigress BEAT Katarra without even laying a finger on her! By those standards, you can't win!" Bubble Bass looks at his stash of jewels, and Bubble Bass says: "Maybe I CAN'T win in a physical fight, but there ARE alternatives to fighting! Don't worry about a thing, I've got a plan!" Blonda says: "Good! Take care of yourself!" Bubble Bass says: "You know I will!" And Bubble Bass hangs up! Bubble Bass says: "Wally!" Wally zooms in, and he says: "Admiral Wally, his smartness, reporting for duty, Bubble Bass!" Bubble Bass says: "No need to be so formal! How much weight can a bubble hold?" Wally says: "It depends on how thick you make it!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, how heavy do you think those jewels are?" Wally says: "They're fairly light! Why do you ask?" Bubble Bass says: "Simple! Tigress and Master Coelaceanth MAY want revenge, but they also like WINNING, a LOT! I'm banking on their inability to take losing well, to my advantage!" Wally asks: "How are you going to do that?!" Bubble Bass says: "I simply give them an IMPOSSIBLE choice! They can fight me and PROBABLY win, but they will definitely LOSE all the jewels that I've found, or they can admit that they're NOT the best at everything, and I'll STILL give Tigress a portion of my jewels, but they still CAN'T say that they're the best of everything! In other words; I lose, THEY lose! I don't lose, Tigress gets to walk away $2.4 Million in jewels richer!" Wally asks: "But what about Master Coelaceanth?" Bubble Bass says: "He could be WATCHING us for all we know! We'll just have to improvise when the time comes!" Wally says: "Well, whatever you need, you can count on me! I'd NEVER let my friends down if I can help it!" Bubble Bass says: "I know you will, Wally! I know you will!" (Confessional) Wally says: "Bubble Bass, has helped me feel more comfortable, being the monkey that I am. I'm smart, and I can be a monkey; those two things AREN'T exclusive to overlapping! Besides, I'm happy getting to be with Bubble Bass! Maybe I'll even get to do what I couldn't do LAST season, and be adopted as a son! I mean, I know Blonda is already expecting, but, I could be around to help them out!" /

Bubble Bass says: "Well, I've got one part of my plan set! Now, all that needs to happen, is to see how Tigress and her ego, will react to the situation. I have no idea just what exactly she WANTS to win! She's conflicted, and that's the HARDEST opponent to deal with! I've done what I can do, I just hope Private will be able to back me up! Sure, Jenny has more fire-power, but I'm NOT backing out of my deal with Private now! If there's one thing my dad has taught me, is that once you make a deal, you should always follow through to the end of it! And that's what I'm going to do!" (End Confessional) The camera shifts to Private's Luxury Suite room, where he's eating all the kippers and other assorted fishes that he wants. Private says: "Being a winner has it's advantages! Comfortable bed; all your meals served to you on a silver platter, and your choice of 770 channels to watch from, and NONE of them sports, thankfully! If I win, I'd like to have this sort of life everyday!" And Private hears a knock on his door! Private asks: "Who is it?" Jenny says: "It's me, Jenny! Can I come in?!" Private rolls his eyes, as if he can't BELIEVE what is happening, but he decides to let it go, groans, and says: "FINE!!!!" And Jenny comes in. Jenny says: "Um, I wanted to say 'Thank you', for keeping me and booting off Po, the way you did last night!" Private says: "If you're trying to apologize for the way you viciously shot ME down for wanting to compete against you, than you can FORGET it! Those words HURT, you know! And just because I'm nice, that doesn't mean that I'm going to let those insults slide! Those words were hurtful! Not physical, but STILL emotional! Penguins have feelings TO, you know!" Jenny says: "Come on! That was Anti-Cosmo's fault! I NEVER would've talked like that to you, if Anti-Cosmo hadn't cast his SPELL on me! I'm not LIKE that! I am a hero! Yes, I've made mistakes; but I LEARN from them! I am NEVER going to talk to you like that again!" Private looks at her suspiciously, and says: "I'll wait and see. Actions speak louder than words, you know. But, regardless of WHAT you've said, I've still made a deal with Bubble Bass, and I'm sticking with it! He TREATS me like an ACTUAL opponent, and RESPECTS me! You haven't shown me the same degree of respect that he has!" Jenny says: "I know, and I'm really sorry! So, how about a little forgiveness now?" Private says: "I forgive you for unintentionally insulting me, but I'm STILL not going to go easy on you! This is the second to last challenge! You want to be in the finals, you're going to have to EARN it!"

And Private closes his room to Jenny, and Jenny says: "Gulp!" Unable to ACTUALLY gulp because she is a robot! (Confessional) Jenny says: "It just goes to show how one small mistake, can have lasting repercussions! But to be honest, I certainly had nothing to lose by at least TRYING to apologize! Better to have at least MADE an effort, than to have made none at all! But, seeing as how that offer's been pulled off the table, I have no other option but to do my best! I've made it THIS far by doing so; and I owe it to my mom and friends to keep doing my best for as long as I can! It's time to see just how well I was made! And if I go down, I'm not going down without a fight!" / Private says: "I'm sure Jenny was being sincere, but I can't afford to be weak any longer! Jenny and Po showed me, that they'll walk all OVER anyone they see as weak! I may not like it, but I have to be tough finishing this game if I want any respect from them! I guess what Skipper told me was true; 'That to get respect, it HAS to be earned!' Well, I'm going to EARN it, no matter WHAT it takes!" (End Confessional) The campsite is interrupted, when K.C. And The Sunshine Band's "Boogie Shoes" plays in the background! Over the loud-speakers, Sniz announces: "Attention, contestants! Congratulations on making it to the semi-final round of this competition! Report to the cafeteria, which is now a dance studio! You're next challenge, awaits you there!" Wally says: "A dance studio?! I think I KNOW what you're next challenge is going to be!" Bubble Bass says: "And hopefully, there WON'T be any curve balls like there USUALLY are! But, I guess we'll just have to wait and see!" / The contestants all arrive at the Dance Studio, to see that plenty of room has been made, for dancing to occur! Private asks: "A dance studio?! What gives?!" Sniz says: "First off, allow me to extend my respect and admiration for the three of you! In my wildest dreams, I didn't expect the Final Three to boil down to the three of you! Well, ONE of you was always in it, but I'll decline answering who it is, out of the respect of the other two players!" Jenny says: "I already KNOW you're talking about ME; there's no other LOGICAL choice as to who it could be!" Marlene scoffs and sarcastically says: "Way to endear yourself to the other players! Even I didn't sound THAT conceited during MY two seasons!" Sniz says: "Thank you, Marlene! In any case, you've made it past eleven other contestants; and now, the time has come to find out, which one of you two, gets to go to the Finals, and I would recommend against saying that it will BE yourself, personally, lest you jinx yourself!"

Wally says: "Even I would NEVER try to do something like THAT, unlike Tigress!" Private asks: "Why would you say THAT?!" Wally says: "Because Tigress is WITH Master Coelaceanth, and they are on their way here! And when Tigress gets here, it WON'T be pretty!" And Private gulps nervously! (Confessional) Private says: "Just MY luck! It figures! As soon as I FINALLY find MY inner toughness; Tigress is threatening to come back, break it, chew it up, spit it out, step on it, and shove it into a shredder and LAUGH about it! But if I back down NOW, than Tigress will NEVER let me live it down! I've GOT to stick it out! If not for MY sake, than for the sake of Rico and Kowalski! I'm doing this for them!" / Wally says: "Frankly, I don't envy ANYONE who has to deal with Master Coelaceanth! Bad enough when he was fully alive! But un-dead? I'm certainly not sure how THAT'S going to turn out! I'd suggest to cut off his head; but seeing as how THAT'S how Master Coelaceanth is un-dead to begin with, I don't think that's going to work a second time! I sure hope Bubble Bass has an idea on how to deal with him, cause even I, a smart Admiral, can't think of a way to deal with him!" / Bubble Bass says: "Truthfully, I have thought of a way to deal with him, but I can't talk about it; or Master Coelaceanth could overhear and find a way to counter it! So I have to keep the plan to myself for now! I'm sure it will work regardless; but an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "As you can see, the cafeteria is temporarily a dance studio, and your challenge will be as follows! Each of you must come up with a song, and your own dance to go along with it! I will be judging you, along with two former contestants!" General Barracuda asks: "And who would those two former contestants be?" And as if on cue, the door flies open, and Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce are standing in the door-way! Sway-Sway says: "What up?! Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce are in the house!--Er, Dance Studio!" Buhdeuce says: "We are here to judge your dance moves!" Fondue asks: "Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce? That's who you went with?" Sniz says: "It was either THEM, or the cast of 'It's Pony!' And, let's be honest; it would be WAY too embarrassing to have a show that lasted only ONE season, as guest judges for this contest!" Wally says: "I'm not sure how to feel about THAT particular comment!" Sniz says: "In any case, we'll be judging your dance moves, on a scale from 1 to 10. So, whoever scores higher, does better! And whoever scores the highest, wins!"

Jenny asks: "And what's the catch THIS time?!" Sniz says: "There's no catch! Why do you ALWAYS assume there is a catch?!" Private says: "Because there usually IS?!" Sniz says: "Ordinarily, yes! However, with Master Coelaceanth and Tigress on their way here, we figured you had ENOUGH to worry about, without adding any CATCH on top of it!" Bubble Bass says: "How refreshingly LUCKY for us!" Sniz says: "So, you have one hour to think of a dance move, and report back here!" Wanda asks: "Why an hour?" Sniz says: "That will give you Fairies time, to hopefully FIND Master Coelaceanth, and give our sponsors some much needed ad-time! Our show doesn't pay for itself, you know!" Marlene says: "Unless you count the merchandise! My toys sell like hot-cakes!" Sniz says: "In any case, be prepared! Because when you come back, we will get the dancing challenge underway; on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! That is all!" / (Commercial Break) / After the commercials end, we focus on Marlene, who is in the dance studio with Private! Marlene says: "Welcome back to Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! The ONLY cartoon show where it feels like as a season takes as LONG to finish as season 12 for Spongebob Squarepants!" Fondue rolls his eyes and sarcastically says: "Wow. Way to REALLY set up the self-depreciation there." Marlene says: "Well, if I DON'T do it, heaven knows someone ELSE probably would, and it probably wouldn't be pretty!" Fondue THINKS about it and says: "Fair enough." Marlene says: "I'm here to see how Private is getting ready for the dancing challenge! Private, what 'Steps', are you taking towards preparing for this challenge?" Private says: "Oh, I see what you did there! Anyways, I thought it would be good research by looking at various old dancing movies like Singing In The Rain, Grease, In The Heights, and both versions of West Side Story!" Marlene looks puzzled, and asks: "Wait! Are we allowed to NAME drop those movies?" Sniz says: "Since both he and we aren't planning on making any money off of them, than yes, he can." Marlene says: "Good! Than I don't have to prepare for a lawsuit! Heaven knows HOW we haven't had to face ANOTHER one since that AANG incident two seasons back!" Sniz says: "You said it!" Marlene says: "Anyways, getting back on track, do you think this research has helped make you a better dancer?" Private says: "Of course! But don't you think you ought to check in on the other contestants and see how THEY'RE doing?" Marlene asks: "You mean JENNY?! Well, I could, but...I don't feel like doing it!"

General Barracuda says: "Wow! And I thought I was the master of not even bothering with an excuse!" Marlene says: "Can you blame me? All she does, revolves around LITERALLY downloading a dance program into her database." Private says: "You mean she FIGURATIVELY..." Marlene yells: "She LITERALLY downloads a dance program into her database! Why would I make that up?!" Private THINKS about it, and says: "I...totally don't have a response for that." Sniz says: "Don't worry about it, nobody ever does." Private asks: "And what about Bubble Bass?" General Barracuda says: "Oh, I already checked THAT out! My son was dancing along to a Paula Abdul music video!" Private asks: "Which one?" General Barracuda says: "Don't worry, we've already filmed it!" /

And General Barracuda turns on an HDTV, and previously recorded footage of Bubble Bass dancing along to Paula Abdul's music video "Cold Hearted" is shown. Paula Abdul sings: "He's a cold-hearted snake, look into his eyes. He's been tellin' lies. He's a lover boy at play. He don't play by rules. Girl, don't play the fool now. You're the one givin' up the love, anytime he needs it. But you turn your back and then he's off and runnin' with the crowd. You're the one to sacrifice, anything to please him. Do you really think he thinks about you when he's out? He's a cold-hearted snake! Look into his eyes, he's been tellin' lies. He's a lover boy at play, he don't play by rules. Girl, don't play the fool now. It was only late last night, he was out there sneakin'. Then he called you up to check that you were waiting by the phone. All the world's a candy store; he's been trick or treatin'. When it comes to true love, girl; with him, there's no one home. He's a cold-hearted snake! Look into his eyes. He's been tellin' lies. He's a lover boy at play. He don't play by rules. Girl, don't play the fool now. (Musical Break) You could find somebody better, girl. He could only make you cry. You deserve somebody better, girl. Let me tell you, he's as cold as ice. He's cold as ice. He's cold as ice. Stay away from him, girl! Cold-hearted, Cold-hearted snake! Cold-hearted, Cold-hearted snake! He's a cold-hearted snake! Look into his eyes! He's been tellin' lies! He's a lover boy at play, he don't play by rules! Girl, don't play the fool! Look into his eyes! He's been tellin' lies! He don't play by rules! Girl, don't play the fool! He's a cold-hearted snake! Look into his eyes! He's been tellin' lies! He's a lover boy at play, he don't play by rules! Girl, don't play the fool! He's a cold-hearted snake, look into his eyes! He's been tellin' lies! He's a lover boy at play!" And the epic music video and dance footage ends. /

Private says: "Wow! Bubble Bass really HAS been practicing! I guess that means I better bring my A game...even though so far, all I've seen THIS season is everyone else giving their B game!" Fondue says: "Look on the bright side; on the off chance you don't win THIS half of a season, you're sure to see everyone else bring their A game for the next half of the season!" Private says: "Right! What I really want to know is, what are Tigress and Master Coelaceanth doing right now? It's been quite a while since anybody has heard from them!" Sniz hears chattering in his ear-piece, and he says: "Hold everything! Cosmo just got a lock on them! They've been traveling eastbound towards this location, and they're currently at a gas station in...Madison, Wisconsin?! What are they doing in Madison, Wisconsin?!" General Barracuda says: "Well, if I WERE Tigress, and I'm SO glad I'm NOT, it would be getting a much needed attitude adjustment!" Sniz says: "Cosmo says he can patch us in through his camera feed! Let's watch and see!" /

They switch the HDTV to Cosmo's live feed. Out of Gordon's commandeered big red truck, Tigress steps out, smells the air, and says: "I LOVE the smell of gasoline in the morning! It smells like VICTORY...AND REVENGE!!!!" From the back of the truck, Master Coelaceanth growls: "How come YOU get to walk around in the open while I SUFFOCATE in the back like a common ANIMAL?!" Tigress says: "Hey! It's not MY fault you're currently an undead walking corpse! If you wanted to NOT attract attention, you wouldn't have gotten yourself KILLED!" Master Coelaceanth says: "It's hard to NOT get killed when someone takes a FREAKING battle axe to your neck! The only GOOD things about being undead, is that I can't feel ANY pain in my neck, and I don't need to go to the bathroom, or eat or sleep like YOU two do!" Tigress says: "Hey! Even if I DIDN'T need to do those things, we'd STILL need to put gas in this truck! Besides, we'll get to the island soon enough! Just follow MY orders, and everything will work out perfectly!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "YOUR orders?! I'm the one who's getting REVENGE against Spongebob, and don't you DARE forget it!" Tigress asks: "Well, why should YOU get revenge?! Why do YOU even hate Spongebob in the FIRST place?! At least SQUIDWARD has valid reasons!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, for starters, he humiliated ALL of my men INCLUDING General Barracuda, turned HIM against me, THWARTED Trakeena's, Mesogog's, and Master Shen's attempts to DESTROY him! And let's not forget, he has the MOST annoying laugh in the HISTORY of EVER!!!! I can't wait to GRAB that sponge and BREAK him into pieces!" Tigress rolls her eyes, and says: "DON'T give me your pathetic CRAP!!!! If ANYBODY deserves to get THEIR revenge, it's GOING to be ME! And you BETTER remember that, or SO help me, I'll cut you into FISH Sticks and feed you to the dogs; INCLUDING Captain Retro! Pretty hard to get revenge if you're digested, and good luck coming back from THAT!" Master Coelaceanth groans, and he says: "Fine! You can HAVE your little revenge! It really doesn't make a difference to me WHO breaks Spongebob, just so long as he's broken!" Tigress smirks, and she says: "I knew you'd see it MY way!"

Gordon says: "Um, not to interrupt what I'm sure is an ENGAGING conversation, but, you two have taken MY vehicle over a THOUSAND miles off course! You're putting a MAJOR cramp in my job with my truck company!" Tigress says: "Oh, I'm sorry! I think you're mistaking ME for someone who actually CARES about whatever STUPID product you're delivering! Which, unless they're 80 TON barbells for me to lift, than SPOILER ALERT, NO ONE CARES!!!! Now, you can either pointlessly try to pick a fight with me and end up as a PINCUSHION should I ever decide to take up sewing! Or, you can cooperate with me and receive a very valuable autograph of me worth $10 million on any memorabilia of me of your choice!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Do you REALLY think your autograph is worth $10 million?" Tigress says: "I'm sure SOMEBODY thinks it's worth $10 million!" Cosmo forgets himself, and he says: "I sure do! Will you please autograph my shirt?!" Tigress looks at him, and she sputters: "What the FREAK is THAT?! A CAMERA?!!!" She runs for Cosmo and punches his LIGHTS out, than she grabs the camera, and she says: "Word of advice, FONDUE! You send ANYBODY else AFTER us; and they're going to WISH they were DEAD!!!!" (POW!!!!) / And the footage cuts to static, and Sniz says: "That's it, we've lost the feed!" Fondue says: "No way we can risk doing a stunt like THAT again!" Sniz says: "And besides, we've got more important things to think about! It's time for the dance challenge!" /

The footage changes to the dance studio, now decked out in official competition settings, with a built in audience to view the dance challenge. Marlene says: "Gentlemen and robot built like a teenage woman, you are here because out of 14 contestants, you have SOMEHOW managed to be the best of the best this season! BOY, did I really blow it by not being a contestant THIS season! Anyways, the point is, that only ONE of you can win this challenge! Just one! We will judge your dance skills on an official zero to ten scale, with ten being the best. Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce will be helping me out in that regard!" Bubble Bass asks: "And what makes THEM qualified to be dancing judges?" Sway-Sway says: "Simple; we DANCE!" Buhdeuce says: "And we are SO good at it!" Bubble Bass says: "Dancing? Yes. Good? THAT'S...HIGHLY debatable!" Buhdeuce rolls his eyes, and says: "EVERYONE'S a critic!" Sway-Sway says: "You said it!" Marlene says: "Anyways, your order has randomly selected. Private, you will be going first. Are you ready?" Private says: "As ready as I'll ever be! This one's for YOU, Marlene!" (Confessional) Marlene says: "Someone remind me, WHY did I marry LEEROY JENKINS, AKA, Skipper, AGAIN?! I had my pick of literally ANY man who I could give the time of day to LAST season, and I chose LEEROY JENKINS?! If it weren't for that ANNOYINGLY cute dance of his...well, I guess even I can't make the RIGHT choice ALL the time!" (End Confessional) Private says: "The dance I'm doing is the Hustle! Accompanied by music from...well, The Hustle!" General Barracuda says: "Boy, does THIS song take me back!" / Sure enough, General Barracuda plays the song "The Hustle", as performed by Van McCoy & The Soul City Symphony, and Private dances along accordingly! Van McCoy sings: "Do it! Do it! Do it! Do the Hustle! Do the Hustle! (Instrumental Break) Do the Hustle! Do the Hustle! (Instrumental Break) Do the Hustle! Do it! Do the Hustle! Do the Hustle! (Instrumental Break) Do the Hustle! Do the Hustle! (Instrumental Break) Do the Hustle! Do the Hustle!" And the song and the dance routine ends. /

Sniz, Fondue, and General Barracuda all applaud loudly. Sniz says: "Well, I certainly liked that routine, but it's the opinion of the JUDGES that count! Judges, what say you?" Sway-Sway says: "Personally, I prefer to schwimmy and sway. Oh, why did they need to underline THAT word in the subtitles?! 'Schwimmy' is a perfectly cromulent word! Anyways, I'd give him a 7 out of 10." Marlene says: "I like your outfit! I personally would've preferred more of an ACTUAL song, but I'll take what I can get! I'll give him a 9 out of 10!" Buhdeuce says: "Your moves were sick, dope, phat, slick, and fly!" Sway-Sway says: "Come on! How come none of HIS words got underlined in the subtitles?!" Buhdeuce says: "In other words, your moves were COOL! He gets a 9 out of 10!" Sniz says: "So, Private sets the bar high with 25 out of 30; let's see if Bubble Bass can top that!" Bubble Bass says: "I'd feel a LOT better doing this if YOU were doing the judging, DAD!" General Barracuda says: "Well, you know I can't! That's a form of nepotism! Besides, just remember what I taught you; keep your eyes on the prize, and ALWAYS follow through!" Bubble Bass says: "Follow through! I haven't been given NEARLY enough opportunities so far, but I think I can apply that!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "I've been told that my appearances on any and all Spongebob related media revolve around supply and demand. IF the fans demand to see episodes that include ME in them, THAN the studio will supply them! Hopefully, all this positive development by yours truly, will result in more demand! And whatever they demand of me, I will deliver! It's all about giving the fans what they want!" (End Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "My move will be the Electric Slide, and I will be dancing to Michael Jackson's Billie Jean!" Jenny says: "What?! But you were watching Paula Abdul earlier!" Bubble Bass says: "Hello! Do you think I would DO a dance based on something you've already seen? Of course not! That would give you time to ANALYZE it and perform it better than me! Just TRY to analyze THESE moves in real time! We'll see how good of a processor you've REALLY got!" /

General Barracuda plays a CD, and Bubble Bass BLOWS everyone's mind by NAILING Michael Jackson's dance routine from "Billie Jean," with only a LITTLE help from his bubbles!

Michael Jackson sings: "Well, she was more like a beauty queen, from a movie scene. I said, Don't mind, but what do you mean I am the one who will dance on the floor in the round? She said I am the one who will dance on the floor in the round. She told me her name was Billie Jean, as she caused a scene. Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one who will dance on the floor in the round. People always told me, Be careful of what you do. And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts. And mother always told me, Be careful of who you love. And be careful of what you do, cause the lie becomes the truth. But Billie Jean is not my lover. She's just a girl who claims that I am the one. But the kid is not my son. She says I am the one. But the kid is not my son. Hee-hee-hee. For forty days and for forty nights, law was on her side. But who can stand when she's in demand, with her schemes and plans? Cause we danced on the floor in the round. So take my strong advice. Just remember to always think twice. (Do think twice, do think twice.) She told, My baby, we'd danced 'til three. Then she looked at me. Then showed a photo of a baby crying; said his eyes looked like mine, oh, no! Do a dance on the floor in the round, babe! People always told me, Be careful of what you do. And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts. (Don't break no heart.) But she came and stood right by me, and just the smell of sweet perfume. This happened much too soon, and she called me to her room. But Billie Jean is not my lover. She's just a girl who claims that I am the one. But the kid is not my son! (No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.) Billie Jean is not my lover. She's just a girl who claims that I am the one. But the kid is not my son. She says I am the one. But the kid is not my son. Chee-hee-hee! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! (Musical Break) She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son. No, no, no. Billie Jean is not my lover. She's just a girl who claims that I am the one. But the kid is not my son. (No, no, no, no, no, no, no.) She says I am the one But the kid is not my son; no, no, no. She says I am the one. You know what you did! She says he is my son. Stop breaking my heart, babe! She says I am the one. But Billie Jean is not my lover. Billie Jean is not my lover. Billie Jean is not my lover. She is the one. Billie Jean is not my lover. She is the one. Don't call me Billie Jean. Billie Jean is not my lover. She is the one. She stumbled onto the scene. Billie Jean is not my lover. Billie Jean is not my lover." And the dance routine and the song ends! /

Loud applause erupts from all OVER the room! Sway-Sway says: "Wow! It's been a long time since I've been FLOORED but...I've been FLOORED! 10 out of 10!" Marlene says: "A little bit of a risky choice, for reasons that I can't explain, but I personally liked it! I'll give it a 9 out of 10!" Budeuce says: "Bro, remind ME to invite HIM to our NEXT dance party! He gets a 10 out of 10; WORD!!!!" Sniz says: "And Bubble Bass has unexpectedly bumped the score to beat to be 29 out of 30! Jenny, you'll have to get a perfect 30 JUST to beat Bubble Bass' score!" Jenny says: "Don't worry about me, I've got the PERFECT dance routine! It is called, The Robot!" General Barracuda looks around, but nobody ELSE says anything, so he says: "You know, I'd say something snarky about the OBVIOUSNESS of the joke, but I think it speaks for itself!" Jenny says: "Bird boys, play the Jackson Five's Dancing Machine." Sway-Sway says: "Well, all right, we'll do it. But don't call us bird boys! I have a girlfriend!" Jenny says: "Fair enough!" /

Sway-Sway changes the CD to be The Jackson Five's "Dancing Machine," where Jenny dances much like...well, a robot. The Jackson Five sing: "Dancing, dancing, dancing, she's a dancing machine! Ah, babe! Move it, baby! Automatic Systematic, full of color self contained. Tuned and channeled to your vibes. Captivating Stimulating, she's such a sexy lady. Filled with space age design. She's moving, she's grooving, dancing until the music stop now. Yeah. Rythmetic acrobatic, she's a dynamite attraction. At the drop of a coin she comes alive. Yeah. She knows what she's doing, she's super bad now. She's geared to blow your mind." At this point, to enhance her performance, Jenny turns on her lasers, but because she has her eyes closed while she's dancing, she doesn't see that she's turned her lasers all the way up to ELEVEN, and ends up causing real damage to the studio!) The Jackson Five continue singing: "Dancing, dancing, dancing, she's a dancing machine. Ah, babe. Do it, baby! Dancing, dancing, dancing, she's a dancing machine. Ah, babe. Move it baby. She's a dance, dance, dance, dance, dancing machine. Watch her get down, watch her get down. As she do, do, do her thing, right on the scene. She's a dance, dance, dance, dance, dancing machine. Watch her get down, watch her get down. As she do, do, do her thing, right on the scene. Come on, babe. Come on, babe. Babe! Babe! Shake it, baby! Shake it, babe! Babe! Babe! Babe! I like it! I love you! She's a dance, dance, dance, dance, dancing machine! Watch her get down, watch her get down! As she do, do, do her thing, right on the scene!" / But Jenny stops dancing when Sway-Sway turns OFF the CD player! She opens her eyes and asks: "Hey! Why did you kill the music?! I was just about to go into my big finish!" Fondue says: "If it were up to me, you would BE finished! You WRECKED the dance studio! My beautiful dance studio! Do you KNOW how much it COST us to rent this studio?! $17,000 in American dollars! That's money that COULD'VE gone towards curing AIDS, or Alzheimers! Or...what's that thing Gilbert Gottfried died from?!" Bubble Bass says: "Muscular Dystrophy." Fondue says: "Yeah, that! What do the JUDGES have to say about this?"

Sway-Sway says: "Look, I'm not going to pretend we DON'T have to do things like dodge lasers and stuff back on Pondgea, because we do. But we did NOT sign up for this! Negative ten out of ten, bro!" Marlene says: "Normally, lasers make everything better, not worse! But, there IS always the exception to the rule! Zero out of ten!" Buhdeuce says: "You're SO lucky one of your lasers didn't hit my rump! My lady fans would be DEVASTATED if anything happened to MY rear!" Marlene says: "And by 'Lady fans', he means his mom and POSSIBLY Jelly, Jenny Quackles, and Ketta." Sniz says: "Ignore her!" Buhdeuce says: "Noted! Moving on, I'd give her a negative ten out of ten!" Sniz says: "And with a NEGATIVE 20 out of a positive 30, Jenny totally TANKS the competition!" Jenny groans, and says: "Oh, man! I KNEW I shouldn't have gotten that Spinal Tap upgrade!" Sniz says: "Bubble Bass unexpectedly wins immunity, for the final time in this half of this season! Normally, we'd have an elimination ceremony, but since there are only TWO contestants who can POSSIBLY be eliminated, that means by default, Jenny and Private, your votes for the other contestant would cancel each other out. Therefore, Bubble Bass gets the deciding vote." Private sighs in defeat, and he says: "I understand. I had a good run this season." Bubble Bass says: "Actually, I'm voting off Jenny!" Private says: "What?! But why? She's been a much better competitor than me this season!" Bubble Bass says: "Exactly! Do you know what my chances would be if I faced HER in the Final Two?! Practically non-existent! Whereas against you, I'd actually HAVE a decent chance to win! Besides, I made a promise to you, and I'm going to keep it!" Jenny says: "So that's it? You're just going to vote me off without a second thought?" Bubble Bass says: "Look, I have a very valid reason for voting you off. At least I'm being HONEST about it unlike the way SOME contestants might have lied to you." Jenny says: "At least for THAT much! At least I actually made it to the Final Three! It's not every robot who can say they held their own in a game show challenge!" Sniz says: "And with that, it's time to send the final contestant, to the Slingshot of Shame!" /

The camera switches to outside, where Private and Bubble Bass already have their marshmallows, and are eating them accordingly. Jenny says: "You expect me to get in THAT thing?! You're kidding!" Sniz says: "Sometimes, I do. But NEVER about something that's mandatory like THAT! Besides, you're a robot who can FLY! You can slow DOWN your descent!" Jenny groans, and she says: "Fine! I'll do it!" And she gets into the Slingshot of Shame! Sniz says: "Anyways, you know how I hate long good-byes." Jenny says: "No, you don't!" Sniz says: "Ordinarily, I don't! But, we've got a Final Two to prepare so, see you later, alligator!" (SPROING!) Jenny says: "1954, Bill Haley and the Comets!" And she sails out of sight! Sniz says: "And then there two! Somehow, against all odds, the Final Two this season, are Bubble Bass and Private! What kind of a Final Two can we expect?!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh, I'M the brains! He's the...other brains!" Private says: "Seriously?!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, it's the best I could think of on such short notice!" Wally says: "Personally, I think it's cool! I'm so GLAD you made it to the Final Two, Bubble Bass!" Bubble Bass says: "Thank you for your vote of confidence, Wally!" Sniz says: "And there you have it! The Final Two this season is Brains Vs. the...other brains. And the world is a POORER place for it! Anyways, see how we wind up this half of season four! Will it be Bubble Bass?! Or Private?! Stay tuned for the half-season finale, next time on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Your support will be greatly welcomed!" /

Episode Notes: With Jenny Wakeman's elimination, all the contestants representing "My Life As A Teenage Robot" which was just her, have now been eliminated. Featured songs in this episode were "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston, "Cold Hearted" by Paula Abdul, "The Hustle by Van McCoy and the Soul City Symphony, "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson, and "Dancing Machine" by The Jackson Five. Eliminated Contestants: 14. Bessie Higgenbottom ("The Mighty B!"); 13. Rico ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"); 12. Katarra ("Avatar: The Last Airbender"); 11. Theodore Seville ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"); 10. Danny Fenton ("Danny Phantom"); 9. Fee ("Harvey Beaks"); 8. Brittany Miller ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"); 7. Johnny Krill ("Spongebob Squarepants"); 6. Tigress ("Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness"); 5. Kowalski ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"); 4. Po ("Kung Fu Panda: Legends Of Awesomeness"); 3. Jenny Wakeman ("My Life As A Teenage Robot"). Final Two: Bubble Bass "The Brains", and Private "The Other Brains". /

Personal Notes: I think a major reason why it's taken me so long to finish this half of a season, is that as usual, I've taken criticisms of my work too personally. But, I have been working on trying to control and tame my Ego. Honestly, if it weren't for my Ego, most of the problems in season three probably could've been avoided. Of course, if I hadn't have made THOSE mistakes, I might not have learned from them and become a better writer for it. Anyways, I hope that learning how to not take criticisms personally, will help me write a finale people can be proud of! I don't plan to disappoint, so I'll see you when I see you! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

For my next re-run, I will show you BOTH the Alternate Ending, and the Canon Ending of "Total Cartoon Legends" at the same time! The Alternate Ending first, and the Canon Ending second! I hope you enjoy both of them! / The camera opens up in the camera monitor room, only to show Marlene instead of Sniz, Fondue, or General Barracuda. Marlene says: "Hmmm, I guess I'M the one doing the show introduction this time! Over this first half of season four, you have witnessed twelve contestants; Bessie Higgenbottom, Brittany Miller, Rico, Katarra, Theodore Seville, Danny Fenton, Fee, Johnny Krill, Tigress, Kowalski, Po, and Jenny Wakeman, lose to the combined intelectual minds of Bubble Bass and Private! Despite being called 'The Brains' and 'The Other Brains', these two contestants have played vastly different games! Bubble Bass has focused on crafting strategies, plans, and an alliance to help him get to where he is, while Private has focused on the social aspect of this game, trying to be friendly with everyone, and keeping a charming personality while doing it. These two different strategies have brought the two of them to the Final Two, but only ONE of them can walk away with the $1.4 Million Grand Prize! It's time to find out who will emerge the winner, in the half-season finale, for Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! I can't WAIT to see how it unfolds!" / "Brains Vs. The Other Brains: The Intellectual Showdown!" /

The camera opens up to show Sniz, in the middle of a giant arena, filled with a lot of audience members, but most NOTABLY, the previously eliminated contestants from this season (except Tigress), and Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward. Sniz says: "Well, we neede to wait X amount of time for this to happen, but at long last, it's going to happen! The Final Two is going to come down to Bubble Bass and Private, Brains Vs. The Other Brains! But before our contestants come out here, we've asked them to make one final Confessional, to reveal their thought process, on how they expect the final challenge to play out! (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "If anyone asked me if I expected to make it to the Final Two based only on my wits and LITERALLY nothing else, I would've told them they were CRAZY! But somehow, even with just BUBBLES, I managed to make it past twelve other contestants! I mean, I know a LITTLE bit of luck had to be involved, but it certainly couldn't have been ALL luck! Unless you're Orlando Bloom, NOBODY'S luck is THAT good! But, I've made it THIS far! Now it's time to see if I can go ALL the way! My only concern is the social aspect of the game. Private definitely has it over me in the popularity department! How HE managed to be born with an ACTUAL British accent, I'll probably never know! But in any other department, I probably have the edge over him! Still, it pays to expect the unexpected, so I'm not holding my breath; even though I'm a fish and have gills!" /

Private says: "Initially, I thought I was here to support Rico and Kowalski in their quest to win a season of this game. But when Rico got taken out so early, I knew I had to step up to the plate! And not just for me, but for Kowalski's sake! And despite so many odds being against me, I exceeded the expectations that twelve other contestants had of me, and made it to the Final Two! There's no doubt that when it comes to the social aspect of this game, I've got it in the bag! But, seeing the way this season has been so far, I seriously doubt it's going to come down to the social aspect! And Bubble Bass, in spite of not starting with much in terms of physical prowess, actually HAS stepped up to the plate and proven more capable of holding his own in challenges! So, I'm going to have to play with everything I have in this final challenge! It's my best chance of proving that I have what it takes to be a REAL penguin commando!" (End Confessional) The two contestants step out onto the arena, from opposite sides, to thunderous applause! Sniz says: "Welcome to the battle of the BRAINY bulge! The thriller at cerebellum! The meeting of the minds! The throwdown at think town! Did I miss anything?" Wanda says: "No, I think you got them all!" Sniz says: "Private, Bubble Bass, you know out of all the contestants that came here, I NEVER would've expected EITHER of you to make it to the Final Two! BUT, seeing as how you're both here, we'll simply have to make the best of things!" Bubble Bass asks: "What is THAT supposed to mean?!" Private mockingly imitates Bubble Bass and says: "What is THAT supposed to mean?! Seriously, that's what you SOUND like! Do you even listen to yourself when you TALK?!" Squidward says: "I do! He's one of the FEW around Bikini Bottom who ACTUALLY makes SENSE to me!" Patrick says: "I can make sense!" Squidward says: "Yeah, NONSENSE! Remind me WHY I agreed to come with you two?" Spongebob says: "Because you'll be getting paid double-triple overtime COMPARED to what you normally get for a day's work at the Krusty Krab?" Squidward perks up, and says: "Oh, yes! Sweet restitution! I'm in!"

Sniz says: "Anyways, the two of you have used the various aspects of your mental strength, to outplay the twelve other contestants, including Tigress, WHEREVER she currently is, who have gathered here, to see you battle against each other! And now, the ball is in THEIR court! It's time for YOU to describe to them, why YOU should be the one to win this half of a season?!" Private raises his flipper, and he says: "Ooh, can I go first?!" Bubble Bass shrugs, and says: "Eh, knock yourself out." (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "I've been told that a LITTLE bit of courtesy can go a long way. Where to? I'm not exactly sure. I don't think I've gotten there yet." (End Confessional) Private says: "Distinguished contestants, and Tigress, if you're listening, I just want to let you know that when I was playing this game, I never beared ANY ill will towards any of you; not even Tigress! I just wanted to play to the best of my ability, and be as friendly as possible while doing it. Any moves I made, I made them because I felt like they were the right moves for me, and it was nothing personal against any of you! I just want you to know that if you decide to choose ME to be your winner, I will be a GRACEFUL winner, and I will invite ALL of you to a party at the New York City Zoo!" And everyone loudly cheers at Private's announcement! Kowalski says: "You gotta hand it to Private! He certainly knows how to CLOSE a deal!" Rico nods in agreement and says: "Bleh!" Bessie Higgenbottom says: "Oh, yeah! My great, great--." (THUD!!!!) And a giant ice ball suddenly crushes her! Katarra, unconvincingly says: "Oops! I tried to make a snow cone, and I ACCIDENTALLY made the ice too big and hard, and it FELL on Bessie!" Johnny says: "Girl, lying is REALLY not your thing! Your not GOOD at it! You'd NEVER make it trying to write Get Well Cards for people who are really sick, you're too honest!" Katarra nods, and says: "Probably."

(Confessional) Katarra says: "I REALLY hope Aang agrees to come back for the NEXT half of this season. Because I honestly don't see how I could POSSIBLY hope to have a chance, against contestants who might lie and deceive me, especially when I don't really HAVE the ability to do the same thing to them!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right. Bubble Bass, what do you have to say?" Bubble Bass asks: "Are you kidding me? I can't TOP what Private just said! Besides, lying would go against EVERYTHING I've been trying to work towards this season! So, I guess I'll just say what everyone would expect me to say!" And Bubble Bass steps up to the microphone and loudly belches: "BURP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Theodore says: "That is the SECOND loudest belch I have ever heard! Off hand, I can't remember where I heard the FIRST loudest, but I KNOW that it was somewhere!" Sniz says: "Well, the candidates have made their words! So contestants, show your support! Will it be green for Bubble Bass, or black for Private?!" A weary Bessie Higgenbottom, Brittany Miller, Theodore Seville, Rico, Kowalski, Po, and Jenny Wakeman, all show their support for Private. Katarra, Danny Fenton, Fee, and Johnny Krill, all show their support for Bubble Bass! Danny says: "Katarra, I'm surprised that YOU'RE supporting Bubble Bass." Katarra says: "I'm supporting him because of his SHEER honesty." Sniz says: "Well, Private, you have seven supporters, that means...you have SEVEN minutes!" Private asks: "Seven minutes for what?" Sniz says: "To prepare for the FINAL challenge! You didn't THINK that it would come down to simple support did you?" Private says: "But I thought you said the ball was in their court!" Sniz says: "It was, to see how much TIME you would get to prepare for the final challenge! I mean, HELLO! Obviously, we're NOT going to do a finale like season two again! That would make it WAY too boring to watch, and no good for us in terms of ratings! And Bubble Bass, since you have four supporters, that means you have four minutes!"

Bubble Bass asks: "And what are we preparing for; dare I ask?" Sniz says: "For the ultimate battle between the minds, we're going to have an ACTUAL battle, and we're going to see whose intellect is superior! Or, maybe who is luckier! Take your pick! Anyways, in our electronic storage, we have LOADS of assorted electronic doo-dads and gizmos, all confiscated from various failed schemes by Plankton and Snaptrap, for you to peruse. Using the time you have been alotted, you will have to quickly choose which devices you think, will most help you win a technological battle between the two of you!" Private says: "You mean we have to BUILD something?" Sniz says: "You catch on fast, my feathered friend! Once you've grabbed your stuff, you will build something with the stuff you managed to grab. When it is finished, you will both come out here, and your machines will fight! You can even fight IN the machines for all I care, just so long as we have a fight! And don't worry, if you are injured, Wanda is LEGALLY required to heal all of your injuries!" Squidward asks: "Hey! Why can't I have that on any of the shows that I'M a part of?" Patrick asks: "Would you rather our shows be CANCELLED like The Fairly Oddparents and YOU be out of an ACTUAL job?" (Confessional) Squidward steams, and he says: "I HATE it when DUMB WAD has a point!" / Patrick says: "I've learned quite a bit from watching Squidina work on my show. She works really hard, and has to know a lot to keep things running. While I won't pretend that I know everything that she does, I think I owe it to her to at LEAST pay attention, and hopefully, I'll remember the things that she tries to teach me!"

(End Confessional) Sniz says: "Since Private has the most supporters, he will go first, and have seven minutes. Bubble Bass, you may go, once our automated timer hits the four minute mark! And GO!!!!" / And during the seven minutes, the ENTIRETY of The Beatles hit song "Hey Jude", plays during Private's and Bubble Bass' collecting, than building montage. /

Paul McCartney sings: "Hey, Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better. Hey, Jude, don't be afraid. You were made to go out and get her. The minute you let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better. And anytime you feel the pain; Hey, Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders. For well you know that it's a fool, who plays it cool, by making his world a little colder. Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah. Hey, Jude, don't let me down. You have found her, now go and get her. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better. So let it out and let it in. Hey, Jude, begin. You're waiting for someone to perform with. And don't you know that it's just you! Hey, Jude, you'll do. The movement you need is on your shoulder. Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah! Yeah! Hey, Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her under your skin, then you'll begin to make it better; better, better, better, better,better... oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! (don't make it bad, Jude) Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! (Take a sad song and make it better!) Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! (Oh, Jude!) Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! (Jude, hey, Jude, whoa!) Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! (Ooh!) Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude!" / And the song fades out as the montage ends. /

Sniz says: "Okay! The collecting and the building is over! It's time to reveal what our two geniuses have managed to build!" Private steps out first; only, he is now WEARING a metallic exo-skin over his entire body, painted black and white, to make him look like a stronger, more metallic version of himself! Brittany asks: "Is that a--?!" Po quickly interrupts: "NO! It's Metal Bird! Can't get sued with Metal Bird!" Jenny says: "Maybe it's a good thing I DIDN'T get into the Final Two after all! Not sure if I could've competed with THAT!" Sniz says: "Very impressive! Now it's time to see what Bubble Bass has built!" Bubble Bass comes out, wearing a robotic walker that looks like a silver version of the machine that Ripley wore in the finale of "Aliens"! Fee asks: "Is that the BEST machine that you could build?!" Bubble Bass says: "Hey! I only HAD four minutes to collect my stuff! This is the best that I could do with what little I was able to grab!" Fee THINKS about it, and she says: "Eh, fair enough." (Confessional) Fee says: "Don't get me wrong. Since I'm not in the Final Two, it really doesn't make much difference to me who wins or LOSES! I'm already planning my strategy for the NEXT half of this season! I'll get to be IN it with my friend, Harvey Beaks! WHOO WHOO! I am SO excited for that!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, contestants! You built, so it's time to battle! Ladies, and gentlemen, get ready, for--!" Tigress interrupts: "Why did that STUPID Cosmo LOCK the DOOR?!!!" Master Coelaceanth responds: "If Cosmo IS stupid, do you think he would've LOCKED the door?!" Kowalski's already white feathered face, SOMEHOW manages to BLANCHE even more with fear! Kowalski says: "Don't tell me they managed to make it all the way HERE!" Gordon asks: "Well, since you're NOT getting in, can I leave now?" Tigress says: "Oh, we are SO getting in!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Oh, and just HOW do you propose to do THAT?!" Tigress says: "Well, throwing a fish is like throwing a sword, and throwing your sword always works!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "THAT'S your plan?!" Tigress says: "Maybe you didn't HEAR me! I SAID...THROWING...YOUR...SWORD...ALWAYS... WORKS!!!!"

Master Coelaceanth yells as he suddenly appears plummeting from over the arena walls, and into the center of the building, followed by Gordon STILL in his truck, which lands on TOP of the undead Master Coelaceanth, and than Tigress suddenly leaps OVER the walls, and she lands on top of the truck! Tigress says: "See what I did THERE?! I just threw a SWORD...FISH!" Master Coelaceanth mutters: "Get this...!" Tigress says: "Watch your mouth! Or I WON'T help you!" Master Coelaceanth, muffled yells: "Get this MISERABLE excuse for a truck OFF!" Tigress coyly says: "Say the magic word!" Master Coelaceanth, muffled, yells: "Like, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!!!" Tigress says: "No, the OTHER magic word!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "You're ENJOYING this, aren't you?" Tigress smiles, and says: "Only a LOT!" Master Coelacenath groans, and struggling, says: "Puh...lee...aze!" Tigress says: "Okay...now say PRETTY please with sugar, sprinkles, and a cherry on top!!!!" Master Coelaceanth LITERALLY shoots out FLAMES from around his body, melting the front half of the truck, quickly FORCING Gordon to get out! And Master Coelaceanth yells: "I'll KILL YOU!!!!" Tigress scoffs, and says: "PUH-LEESE!!!! Do you expect ME to believe THAT?! YOU can't even get RID of one lowly sea sponge!" Master Coelaceanth says: "A problem I mean to rectify IMMEDIATELY!" Sniz says: "HEY! We were about to do a challenge here! Save your vendetta for somewhere else!" Tigress says: "PUH-LEESE!!!! This STOPPED being about Master Coelaceanth's need for revenge like...ages ago!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "WHAT?!!!"

Tigress says: "Oh, SURE! You COULD have been useful! I mean, hello! I don't string along guys like you unless I plan on getting good MILEAGE out of it! If you were REALLY evil, you would've outright REFUSED to say Please to me! But, since you did, you're clearly not UP to the job I thought you were! From now on, I'm on my own!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Wait! You mean to tell me that whole point of that Please ordeal was a secret test of character?" Tigress says: "Well, DUH!!!! And you failed MISERABLY! Just like every other man who's NOT Po has done in MY life!" Po says: "YES!!!! I'm Tigress' number one man in HER life! Although, that doesn't really feel appropriate to celebrate right now for some reason." Tigress says: "Besides, are you REALLY trying to pull that whole, 'I'm undead and I won't rest until I get revenge against some weak sea sponge who can't even lift a stick with TWO marshmallows on it' thing?!" Spongebob nervously asks: "Who told you THAT?!" Tigress coyly says: "You just TOLD me, you LITERAL block-head!" (Confessional) Spongebob fumes, and he says: "Oh, I HATE it when somebody pulls THAT routine on me!" / Tigress says: "I've known Spongebob's strength from the very start! He's about as much of a threat to me, as an army of balloons is to a porcupine colony! I just want to watch him squirm, while I thrash the FLOOR with Master Coelaceanth! Besides, it will be a good warm-up for the SECOND half of the season! First, I utterly humiliate the undead guy, THAN I'll utterly humiliate Spongebob, but not before I instill a good sense of FEAR into that Sponge!" (End Confessional) Private says: "Um, not that I think that you can't do it, but, this is supposed to be OUR battle! Let us FIGHT it!" Tigress says: "Well, if we were REALLY being fair about things, Sniz would let ME fight the both of you, if you're not COWARDS!!!!" Private and Bubble Bass freeze in place and don't say a word! Tigress says: "That's what I THOUGHT! You WON'T interfere because you KNOW I would beat you in ANYTHING!!!!"

Katarra says: "Except BRAINS!!!!" Tigress yells: "WHAT?!!!" Master Coelaceanth says: "An OPENING!!!!" He tries to produce lightning, but it fizzles out! Master Coelaceanth: "WHAT?! What the hey?!" He keeps TRYING to produce lightning, but NOTHING comes out! Master Coelaceanth screams: "Why isn't my lightning WORKING?!" Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof climb into the arena wall, and they're puffing and totally out of breath. Anti-Cosmo wheezes, and says: "We...finally, got away from that chatty parrot and that dumb dog! Remind me we should NEVER associate with dogs or birds if we can avoid them EVER again!" Anti-Poof says: "You said it!" Master Coelaceanth says: "It's about TIME you showed up! Look what your botched spell did to me!" Anti-Cosmo says: "For your information, I DIDN'T botch it! Wanda interrupted my spell by cutting off the access to my power before I could complete it! If I had known that was going to happen, of COURSE I wouldn't have cast it and left you in this incomplete state!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, you're here now, so cast a spell and bring me back to life again!" Anti-Poof chuckles nervously, and he says: "Uh, funny you should mention that. You see, Wanda, kind of shut off the access point for our powers. We can't restore you even though we really, REALLY want to!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "WHAT?!" Anti-Poof says: "And, your powers were ALWAYS connected to the magical source of OUR powers! When you erupted in flames to melt that truck, you used the very last little residual of magic inside of you that was left in your body. Your out of power. It's over." Master Coelaceanth rhetorically says: "Over? OVER?!!!" He bounds with a great leap towards Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof, and Master Coelaceanth says: "NOTHING is over as long as my body is capable of moving! If I can't use my magic, I'll simply have to kill Spongebob with nothing but brute FORCE!!!!" Spongebob says: "Come on! Why do you want to kill ME?! I'm a nice guy!" Squidward asks: "Do you want the LONG story or the short version?" Spongebob THINKS about it, and he says: "Uh, the SHORT version?"

Squidward says: "Even if he DIDN'T hate you for all the reasons that he probably SHOULD hate you, he's a VILLAIN! He doesn't need a reason to hate, he's just THAT sadistic!" Master Coelaceanth says: "So, come on down and FIGHT me if you want to taste your DEATH!" Tigress moves in front of him, and he says: "You're not harming ANYBODY!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "You'd DARE fight ME?!" Tigress says: "Fight you? No, I'm going to DESTROY you!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You THINK you can destroy me?!" Tigress says: "I don't think it, I KNOW it!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, if I'm something that can be stopped, than JUST try to stop me!" Tigress and Master Coelaceanth begin sparring at each other, and Bubble Bass says: "Wow! I have NEVER felt so sidelined and ignored before. Now I know how Sandy felt during the majority of seasons six through eight of Spongebob Squarepants!" Marlene says: "Well, SOMEBODY has to stop this! Tigress is PHYSICALLY stronger than Master Coelaceanth, but because he's STILL undead, he can't FEEL pain, so he won't ever need to stop, whereas Tigress' strength will eventually wear out!" Private says: "I've got an idea! Gordon Quid!" Gordon says: "What do you want?!" Private says: "What exactly have you been hauling in your truck?!" Gordon says: "See? SOMEONE cares what I've been hauling!" Tigress says: "Not helping!" Gordon says: "Well, as it just so happens, I have been hauling, a whole bunch of deep fry FISH oil!" Johnny Krill nervously yells: "FISH oil?!" Squidward yells: "Fish oil?!" Bubble Bass yells: "Fish oil?!" Spongebob yells: "Fish oil?!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "Fish oil?!" Patrick yells: "Fish Oil?!" Spongebob and Squidward look at him strangely. Patrick says: "WHAT?! No one is THAT stupid!"

(Confessional) Squidward says: "In some weird way, I'm beginning to think that Patrick might be right about ONE thing! The mechanations of his inner mind ARE an enigma!" (End Confessional) Private says: "Gordon, fill my firing mechanisms up with that stuff!" Gordon asks: "You WANT to help Tigress?!" Private says: "I got to! I wouldn't be a GOOD penguin spy otherwise!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You think I'm just going to LET you DOUSE me with that stuff?!" Bubble Bass says: "No, but I CAN help hold you BACK!" And Bubble Bass uses his metal pinchers, to keep Master Coelaceanth in place! Master Coelaceanth yells: "No! Let me go! Let me go!" Bubble Bass says: "After the way you threatened Spongebob? You're out of your mind!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You fool! If they douse ME, what's to stop them from dousing the REST of you?! You're seafood to them! They will HUNT you! They will EAT you! They'll destroy EVERYTHING that you cherish until there is nothing LEFT of Bikini Bottom! Is THAT what you WANT?!!!" Bubble Bass says: "YOU'RE the fool! That's NOT going to happen even if YOU are alive, so it doesn't even MATTER!" Private says: "I've got it! Sorry, Master Coelaceanth, but it's hook, line, and SINKER!!!!" And Private FIRES the hot deep fry oil onto Master Coelaceanth, turning him from an undead corpse into a gigantic fish fry! Tigress says: "A fish fry! How poetic! I've always WANTED to sink my teeth into a fresh FISH meal!!!!" Even without a functional mouth, Master Coelaceanth SOMEHOW manages to scream: "No, no, NO!!!!" And the camera turns to face Patrick as loud chomping is heard off-screen from his vantage point.

Patrick says: "See? Unlike SOME shows, we have the decency to turn the camera AWAY from footage like that, even if he WAS evil!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, it looks like Master Coelaceanth's story has been wrapped up, with absolutely NO loose ends to tie up!" Than Tigress' eyes briefly glow GLOWING red, and a sinister voice lowly says: "Mwa, ha, ha, ha!" Bubble Bass says: "Than again, maybe not. But we'll deal with it during the NEXT half season IF it becomes a problem and NOT before!" Sniz says: "That's great and all, but, we STILL have a challenge to finish, and you've WASTED enough time as it is! We need to find out who are winner is! And NO more fish oil!" Private says: "Fair enough! It's time to see how strong this suit really is!" Bubble Bass says: "You're going to take me head on?" Private says: "Literally!!!!" And Private shoots like a rocket towards Bubble Bass, and the resulting collision BREAKS both of their mechanical creations apart, and the two of them are weary, wobbling on their last legs! General Barracuda says: "Come on, son! Stay up!" Kowalski says: "Don't fall down now, Private!" Sniz says: "Well, looks like it might come down to luck after all!" And in a split second difference, Bubble Bass falls down first, and Private falls RIGHT on top of him! Marlene says: "Private has pinned Bubble Bass! It's time to start the countdown! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! It's over! It's all over! Private has won Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" Kowalski rushes to Private's side, and gets him out of the wrecked metal! Kowalski says: "You did it! You did it! I knew you would! I just KNEW you would!" Private says: "Well, I don't think if I could've done it, if I hadn't have learned from you." General Barracuda comes to Bubble Bass' side, and gets him out of the wreckage. General Barracuda says: "Son..." Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "I suppose you probably hate me for failing to live up to your high expectations." General Barracuda says: "Come on! You made it to the Final Two! That's far better than I ever expected you to do! Come on, I'll buy you a dinner with the pearls I've been keeping in the lake!" Bubble Bass says: "PEARLS?!!! Those were YOUR pearls?!"

General Barracuda says: "You KNOW about them?!" Bubble Bass says: "I found them in the very FIRST episode of this competition! I didn't KNOW they were yours! If I did, I never would've taken them!" General Barracuda says: "Well, they're MY retirement NEST egg...which, I'll bequeath to someday should I kick the bucket!" Bubble Bass says: "Eh, I waited THIS long to be rich! I can wait a little longer!" Private says: "No need to worry! I have decided to split the prize money evenly! An even $100,000 split between all fourteen contestants, EVEN Tigress!" Tigress says: "It was never about the money for me, just for the title! I might have lost the title THIS time! But just wait for the NEXT half of the season, and, watch out everyone!" Sniz says: "I'll fly everyone to Private's party at the New York City Zoo on my PRIVATE LEAR Jet! Fondue, I'll let YOU close off the season!" Fondue excitedly says: "Really?! I'd be glad to!" Sniz, Spongebob, Patrick, Squidward, General Barracuda, Wally, Marlene, and all the contestants get on the plane. And as it leaves over the horizon, Fondue says: "And that has been Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! We'll be going into production pretty soon for the second half of Season Four, so when we come back, we will find out who will be participating, in Total Cartoon Legends!"

Than police sirens wail, and Police Officers Bob and Nancy jump out of their police cars, and Gordon says: "That's the guy! That's who's responsible for MY suffering!" Police Officer Nancy says: "Fondue Brokowski, you are under arrest!" Fondue asks: "On what charges?!" Police Officer Nancy pulls out a list, and she says: "Hiring scab labor during a union strike, utilizing dangerous black magic known to cause effects such as baldness, temporary gigantic growth, involuntary invisibility, and the like; turning a blind eye to Anti-Cosmo's blatant cheating in regards to Tigress, letting General Barracuda help Bubble Bass have an unfair advantage in a challenge, sending contestants into a dark cave without proper cave safety equipment, utilizing LIVE cannon ammunition on a pirate ship, allowing contestants to steal and than later use a death ray laser...thingy, reckless endangerment of a contestant's life in regards to Private, allowing Bubble Bass and Po to run around naked without a proper permit, allowing four super dangerous villains to invade and distrupt a challenge simultaneously, not checking Jenny Wakeman for dangerous weaponry BEFORE she entered the competition, wrecking a dance studio and violating the terms of a deposit, and wreckless usage of deep fry fish oil in the presence of aquatic sea creatures! And let's not forget, you decided to take ALL the responsibility of ANYTHING that happened this season, Fondue!" Fondue gulps nervously, and he suddenly realizes that Sniz HAD a point after all at the beginning of the season, and all Fondue can say is: "Oh, boy! I am in SO much trouble when Sniz finds out about this." /

Episode Notes: Alternate ending where Private wins. (If you're STILL reading Hayden, you can stop now. This will be the ONLY time a contestant from "The Penguins Of Madagascar" EVER wins a Final Two, really!) All other notes will be revealed when the cannon ending of this episode is written. / Personal Notes: Back when I was writing season three, I had hoped to be able to do my own version of "Run, Lola Run", by writing three different endings for the three different finalists, and thus give the fans the choice of who they wanted to see win. Unfortunately, Stephen Hillenburg dying made me realize that it would be totally inappropriate of me, to NOT honor his legacy, by not technically having Patrick win, and give Reggie Rocket the title. But now, that enough time has passed, I feel like I can write down an alternate ending, and fans can choose this to be the actual ending if they so desire. For everyone else, the real finale still waits! /
The camera opens up in the camera monitor room, only to show Marlene instead of Sniz, Fondue, or General Barracuda. Marlene says: "All right! I get to be the one doing the show introduction this time! Over this first half of season four, you have witnessed twelve contestants; Bessie Higgenbottom, Brittany Miller, Rico, Katarra, Theodore Seville, Danny Fenton, Fee, Johnny Krill, Tigress, Kowalski, Po, and Jenny Wakeman, lose to the combined intelectual minds of Bubble Bass and Private! Despite being called 'The Brains' and 'The Other Brains', these two contestants have played vastly different games! Bubble Bass has focused on crafting strategies, plans, and an alliance to help him get to where he is, while Private has focused on the social aspect of this game, trying to be friendly with everyone, and keeping a charming personality while doing it. These two different strategies have brought the two of them to the Final Two, but only ONE of them can walk away with the $1.4 Million Grand Prize! It's time to find out who will emerge the winner, in the half-season finale, for Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! I can't WAIT to see how it unfolds!" / "Brains Vs. The Other Brains: The Intellectual Showdown!" /

The camera opens up to show Sniz, in the middle of a giant arena, filled with a lot of audience members, but most NOTABLY, the previously eliminated contestants from this season (except Tigress), and Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward. Sniz says: "Well, we needed to wait X amount of time for this to happen, but at long last, it's going to happen! The Final Two is going to come down to Bubble Bass and Private, Brains Vs. The Other Brains! But before our contestants come out here, we've asked them to make one final Confessional, to reveal their thought process, on how they expect the final challenge to play out! (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "If anyone asked me if I expected to make it to the Final Two based only on my wits and LITERALLY nothing else, I would've told them they were CRAZY! But somehow, even with just BUBBLES, I managed to make it past twelve other contestants! I mean, I know a LITTLE bit of luck had to be involved, but it certainly couldn't have been ALL luck! Unless you're Orlando Bloom, NOBODY'S luck is THAT good! But, I've made it THIS far! Now it's time to see if I can go ALL the way! My only concern is the social aspect of the game. Private definitely has it over me in the popularity department! How HE managed to be born with an ACTUAL British accent, I'll probably never know! But in any other department, I probably have the edge over him! Still, it pays to expect the unexpected, so I'm not holding my breath; even though I'm a fish and have gills!" /

Private says: "Initially, I thought I was here to support Rico and Kowalski in their quest to win a season of this game. But when Rico got taken out so early, I knew I had to step up to the plate! And not just for me, but for Kowalski's sake! And despite so many odds being against me, I exceeded the expectations that twelve other contestants had of me, and made it to the Final Two! There's no doubt that when it comes to the social aspect of this game, I've got it in the bag! But, seeing the way this season has been so far, I seriously doubt it's going to come down to the social aspect! And Bubble Bass, in spite of not starting with much in terms of physical prowess, actually HAS stepped up to the plate and proven more capable of holding his own in challenges! So, I'm going to have to play with everything I have in this final challenge! It's my best chance of proving that I have what it takes to be a REAL penguin commando!" (End Confessional) The two contestants step out onto the arena, from opposite sides, to thunderous applause! Sniz says: "Welcome to the battle of the BRAINY bulge! The thriller at cerebellum! The meeting of the minds! The throwdown at think town! Did I miss anything?" Wanda says: "No, I think you got them all!" Sniz says: "Bubble Bass, Private, I just want you both to know that I had high expectations. And even though its the TWO of you who are here, I STILL expect the BEST from the both of you, even if ONE of you has an unexplainable accent!" Private asks: "What is THAT supposed to mean?!" Bubble Bass, in a mock British accent says: "What is THAT supposed to mean?! Seriously, that's what you SOUND like! Do you even listen to yourself when you TALK?!" Kowalski rolls his eyes, and says: "Heaven knows SKIPPER doesn't! I can't TELL you how many times Skipper managed to Leeroy Jenkins up a WHOLE mission just to prove some stupid point!" Marlene says: "THANK YOU! Someone ELSE gets it!" Spongebob asks: "What in the WORLD is a Leeroy Jenkins?" Squidward says: "You know all those times you failed a Boating Exam with Mrs. Puff? It's pretty much THAT!" Spongebob says: "Oh! Now I know the proper term for THAT!"

Squidward says: "Yeah! Remind me of WHY I agreed to come with you two?" Patrick says: "Because you'll be getting paid double-triple overtime COMPARED to what you normally get for a day's work at the Krusty Krab? I remember what I got paid during the times that I've worked there!" Squidward perks up, and says: "Oh, yes! Sweet restitution! All right, I'm in!" Sniz says: "Anyways, the two of you have used the various aspects of your mental strength, to outplay the twelve other contestants, including Tigress, WHEREVER she currently is, who have gathered here, to see you battle against each other! And now, the ball is in THEIR court! It's time for YOU to describe to them, why YOU should be the one to win this half of a season?!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh, I'll go FIRST!" Private shrugs, and says: "That's okay, I can wait." (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "I HAD to go first! Hello! If I let Private talk first, he would probably say something SO charming, I wouldn't be able to top it! At least this way, the other contestants will get to know what I actually think!" / Private says: "Sure, I'm a bit miffed that Bubble Bass wanted to go first, but I've been told that a LITTLE bit of courtesy can go a long way. It usually does for me! Marlene says that besides her, I'm the most courteous animal in the entire New York City Zoo!" (End Confessional)

Bubble Bass says: "Distinguished contestants, and Tigress, if you're listening, I just want to let you know that when I was playing this game, I honestly never thought that I would be the one standing here. I mean, with so many odds stacked up against me, my weight, my initial behavior, my lack of physical skills, and having a hard time saying 'Please' at first, it certainly seemed not in the cards for me to wind up here. However, if I hadn't have established an alliance with Johnny Krill and Tigress, I never would've learned the value of friendship. And while I do intend on being as honest as possible, I don't see as how that has to affect my ability to be nice. Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward, I know that we might have had, differences in the past. But I just want you to know that anything I have done, I only did it because the writers of Spongebob Squarepants demanded that I do. It was nothing personal against any of you. And should you support me in becoming the winner, I will be a graceful one, and treat you all to a wonderful party in Malibu, California, where Blonda currently lives in her house!" And even though it's not unanimous, there is quite a bit of cheering, even from some of the eliminated contestants! Fee says: "I've never BEEN to a party in Malibu, California before! It's BOUND to be a fun one!" Sniz says: "Very well. Private, what do you have to say?" Private says: "Well, first of all, I just want you to know that I have never beared ANY ill will towards any of you; not even Tigress! I just wanted to play to the best of my ability, and be as friendly as possible while doing it. Any moves I made, I made them because I felt like they were the right moves for me, and it was nothing personal against any of you! I just want you to know that if you decide to choose ME to be your winner, I will make sure that all of you will be invited to a party at the New York City Zoo!" And even though there's more cheering, it is STILL not unamious! Kowalski says: "Private! You didn't say you'd be a graceful winner!" Private says: "I wasn't expecting Bubble Bass to give a GOOD speech! That threw me OFF!" (Confessional)

Private writes on a notepad and he says: "Note to self; never underestimate ANYBODY'S ability to give a good speech! Not even Bubble Bass!" / Kowalski says: "Somehow, I KNOW that Skipper influenced this!" Rico questioningly asks: "Bleh?" Kowalski replies: "Why?! Because...pick a random reason why! He's THAT crazy!" (End Confessional) Bessie Higgenbottom says: "Oh, yeah! My great, great--." (THUD!!!!) And a giant ice ball suddenly crushes her! Katarra, unconvincingly says: "Oops! I tried to make a snow cone, and I ACCIDENTALLY made the ice too big and hard, and it FELL on Bessie!" Johnny says: "Girl, lying is REALLY not your thing! Your not GOOD at it! You'd NEVER make it trying to write Get Well Cards for people who are really sick, you're too honest!" Katarra nods, and says: "Probably." (Confessional) Katarra says: "I REALLY hope Aang agrees to come back for the NEXT half of this season. Because I honestly don't see how I could POSSIBLY hope to have a chance, against contestants who might lie and deceive me, especially when I don't really HAVE the ability to do the same thing to them!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right. You've heard from the both of them! So it's time to show your support! Will it be green for Bubble Bass, or black for Private?!" Brittany Miller, Theodore Seville, Rico, Kowalski, Po, and Jenny Wakeman, all show their support for Private; while a weary Bessie Higgenbottom, Katarra, Danny Fenton, Fee, and Johnny Krill, all show their support for Bubble Bass! Danny says: "Katarra, I'm surprised that YOU'RE supporting Bubble Bass." Katarra says: "I'm supporting him because of his SHEER honesty, and surprising potential! It's surprised even ME, and that's a rare feet!" (Confessional) Katarra says: "The real test for Bubble Bass' potential will be in the NEXT half-season! Anyone can potentially WIN a season of a game show! The real test of their potential will be to see how long they can last in a subsequent season, when everyone KNOWS exactly what they're capable of! Even though I won't be competing, I can't WAIT to see what Bubble Bass can do!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Well, Private, you have six supporters, that means...you have SIX minutes!" Private asks: "Six minutes for what?" Sniz says: "To prepare for the FINAL challenge! You didn't THINK that it would come down to simple support did you?" Private says: "But I thought you said the ball was in their court!" Sniz says: "It was, to see how much TIME you would get to prepare for the final challenge! I mean, HELLO! Obviously, we're NOT going to do a finale like season two again! That would make it WAY too boring to watch, and no good for us in terms of ratings! And Bubble Bass, since you have five supporters, that means you have five minutes!" Bubble Bass asks: "And what exactly are we preparing for? Spongebob better NOT have to climb into my MOUTH again, people will get the wrong impression about me!" Sniz says: "Don't worry! It will be NOTHING like that! For the ultimate battle between the minds, we're going to have an ACTUAL battle, and we're going to see whose intellect is superior! Or, maybe who is luckier! Take your pick! Anyways, in our electronic storage, we have LOADS of assorted electronic doo-dads and gizmos, all confiscated from various failed schemes by Plankton and Snaptrap, for you to peruse. Using the time you have been alotted, you will have to quickly choose which devices you think, will most help you win a technological battle between the two of you!" Private says: "You mean we have to BUILD something?" Sniz says: "You catch on fast, my feathered friend! Once you've grabbed your stuff, you will build something with the stuff you managed to grab. When it is finished, you will both come out here, and your machines will fight! You can even fight IN the machines for all I care, just so long as we have a fight! And don't worry, if you are injured, Wanda is LEGALLY required to heal all of your injuries!"

Squidward asks: "Hey! Why can't I have that on any of the shows that I'M a part of?" Patrick asks: "Would you rather our shows be CANCELLED like The Fairly Oddparents and YOU be out of an ACTUAL job?" (Confessional) Squidward steams, and he says: "I HATE it when DUMB WAD has a point!" / Patrick says: "I've learned quite a bit from watching Squidina work on my show. She works really hard, and has to know a lot to keep things running. While I won't pretend that I know everything that she does, I think I owe it to her to at LEAST pay attention, and hopefully, I'll remember the things that she tries to teach me!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Since Private has the most supporters, he will go first, and have six minutes. Bubble Bass, you may go, once our automated timer hits the five minute mark! And GO!!!!" / And during the six minutes, the edited single version of Jefferson Starship's hit song "Miracles", plays during Private's and Bubble Bass' collecting, than building montage. /

Marty Balin sings: "If only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), so would I. If only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), so would I. I might have to move heaven and earth, to prove it to you, baby (Baby). So we're makin' love and you feel the power. And I feel the power, then there's really nothing we can't do. (You know we could, you know we could). If we wanted to, baby, (You know we could, you know we could), we could exist on the stars. It'd be so easy. Now, baby. All we gotta do (Baby, baby, baby, oh, baby). Is get a little faith in you (Baby, baby). Oh, I've been so many places, I've seen some things (Yes, I have). I know love is the answer (Yes, it is). Keeps holding this world together, yeah. Ain't nothing better. Ain't nothing better (Nothing's better). And all the answers to our prayers. Nothing ever breaks up the heart (Love's a game now). Only tears give you away (Ain't it a shame now?) Then you're right where I found ya (Oh, baby). With my arms around ya (Oh, baby). O-o-o-o-o-o-oh, baby. Baby, baby. Love is a magic word, ooh, yeah (Baby). Few ever find in a lifetime. But from that very first look in your eyes, I knew you and I had but one heart (Baby). That was so easy (Baby). So easy (Oh, baby). Oh, if only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), We'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), so would I. If only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), so would I. I can hear windmills and rainbows whenever you're talkin' to me (Never say never). I feel like swirling and dancin' whenever you're walking with me. (Whenever you're walking with me). You make me wanna sing (I love you so). Yeah (I love you so). Baby (I love you so). Baby (I love you so). Baby (I love you so). Baby (Oh). Oh, yeah (Oh, yeah). All right (All right). Every time you come by, let me try (Come on by). Pretty please with sugar on it. That's how I like it, ooh. I can't even believe it with you. It's like having every dream I ever wanted come true (Dream of a lifetime). I picked up your vibes, you know, it opened my eyes (Dream of a lifetime). But I'm still dreamin', yeah (Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, oh). And you're right where I found ya (Oh, baby). With my arms around ya (Oh, baby). Oh, if only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), so would I. If only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), So would I. So would I. So would I. Oh, if only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles). So would I. If only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), So would I." / And the song fades out as the montage ends. /

Sniz says: "Okay! The collecting and the building is over! It's time to reveal what our two geniuses have managed to build!" Private steps out first; only, he is now WEARING a metallic exo-skin over his entire body, painted black and white, to make him look like a stronger, more metallic version of himself! Brittany asks: "Is that a--?!" Po quickly interrupts: "NO! It's Metal Bird! Can't get sued with Metal Bird!" Jenny says: "Maybe it's a good thing I DIDN'T get into the Final Two after all! Not sure if I could've competed with THAT!" Theodore asks: "Where are his blasters though?" Private says: "I only HAD six minutes! If I had ANOTHER minute, I could've grabbed some!" Sniz says: "Still impressive! Now it's time to see what Bubble Bass has built!" Bubble Bass comes out, wearing a robotic walker that looks like a LARGER, silver, built with BLASTERS, more impressive version of the machine that Ripley wore in the finale of "Aliens"! Fee says: "That is the SECOND coolest machine that I have ever seen! Off hand, I can't think of where I saw the FIRST coolest machine I have ever seen, but I know that it was somewhere!" Bubble Bass says: "I HAD five minutes to work with! I decided to grab the blasters FIRST, so I could have a RANGE advantage over Private!" Fee THINKS about it, and she says: "That, is a pretty good strategy." (Confessional) Fee says: "Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to PRETEND that I had a chance of winning THIS season! I CLEARLY underestimated Bubble Bass! I won't make THAT mistake in the NEXT half of this season! I'll get to be IN it with my friend, Harvey Beaks! WHOO WHOO! I am SO excited for that!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "All right, contestants! You built, so it's time to battle! Ladies, and gentlemen, get ready, for--!" Tigress interrupts: "Why did that STUPID Cosmo LOCK the DOOR?!!!" Master Coelaceanth responds: "If Cosmo IS stupid, do you think he would've LOCKED the door?!" Kowalski's already white feathered face, SOMEHOW manages to BLANCHE even more with fear! Kowalski says: "Don't tell me they managed to make it all the way HERE?!" Jenny says: "Robots aren't PROGRAMMED for fear, and even I'M feeling nervous right now!" Gordon asks: "Well, since you're NOT getting in, can I leave now?" Tigress says: "Oh, we are SO getting in! I did NOT come this far just to give up NOW!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Oh, and just HOW do you propose we GET in anyways?!" Tigress says: "Well, throwing a fish is like throwing a sword, and throwing your sword always works!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "THAT'S your plan?!" Tigress says: "Maybe you didn't HEAR me! I SAID...THROWING...YOUR...SWORD...ALWAYS... WORKS!!!!" Master Coelaceanth yells as suddenly appears plummeting from over the arena walls, and into the center of the building, followed by Gordon STILL in his truck, which lands on TOP of the undead Master Coelaceanth, and than Tigress suddenly leaps OVER the walls, and she lands on top of the truck! Tigress says: "See what I did THERE?! I just threw a SWORD...FISH!" Master Coelaceanth mutters: "Get this...!" Tigress says: "Watch your mouth! Or I WON'T help you!" Master Coelaceanth, muffled yells: "Get this MISERABLE excuse for a truck OFF!" Tigress coyly says: "Say the magic word!" Master Coelaceanth, muffled, yells: "Like, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!!!" Tigress says: "No, the OTHER magic word!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "You're ENJOYING this, aren't you?" Tigress smiles, and says: "Only a LOT!" Master Coelacenath groans, and struggling, says: "Puh...lee...aze!"

Bubble Bass says: "Hard to believe that I used to sound like that when saying 'Please'!" Tigress says: "Okay...now say PRETTY please with sugar, sprinkles, and a cherry on top!!!!" Master Coelaceanth LITERALLY shoots out FLAMES from around his body, melting the front half of the truck, quickly FORCING Gordon to get out! And Master Coelaceanth yells: "I'll KILL YOU!!!!" Tigress scoffs, and says: "PUH-LEESE!!!! Do you expect ME to believe THAT?! YOU can't even get RID of one lowly sea sponge!" Master Coelaceanth says: "A problem I mean to rectify IMMEDIATELY!" Sniz says: "HEY! We were about to do a challenge here! Save your vendetta for somewhere else!" Tigress says: "PUH-LEESE!!!! This STOPPED being about Master Coelaceanth's need for revenge like...ages ago!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "WHAT?!!!" Tigress says: "Oh, SURE! You COULD have been useful! I mean, hello! I don't string along guys like you unless I plan on getting good MILEAGE out of it! If you were REALLY evil, you would've outright REFUSED to say Please to me! But, since you did, you're clearly not UP to the job I thought you were! From now on, I'm on my own!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Wait! You mean to tell me that whole point of that Please ordeal was a secret test of character?" Tigress says: "Well, DUH!!!! And you failed MISERABLY! Just like every other man who's NOT Po has done in MY life!" Po says: "YES!!!! I'm Tigress' number one man in HER life! Although, that doesn't really feel appropriate to celebrate right now for some reason." Johnny rolls his eyes, and he sarcastically says: "NO! Really, do you think?!" (Confessional) Johnny says: "That woman is a terrible, triple-decker, toadstool saurkraut sandwich, with arsenic sauce! I SO hope I don't get put on HER team again next season!" (End Confessional) Tigress says: "Anyways, are you REALLY trying to pull that whole, 'I'm undead and I won't rest until I get revenge against some weak sea sponge who can't even lift a stick with TWO marshmallows on it' thing?!" Spongebob nervously asks: "Who told you THAT?!" Tigress coyly says: "You just TOLD me, you LITERAL block-head!"

(Confessional) Spongebob fumes, and he says: "Oh, I HATE it when somebody pulls THAT routine on me!" / Tigress says: "I've known Spongebob's strength from the very start! He's about as much of a threat to me, as an army of balloons is to a porcupine colony! I just want to watch him squirm, while I thrash the FLOOR with Master Coelaceanth! Besides, it will be a good warm-up for the SECOND half of the season! First, I utterly humiliate the undead guy, THAN I'll utterly humiliate Spongebob, but not before I instill a good sense of FEAR into that Sponge! Revenge shouldn't be a quick, forgettable affair. It should be savored, like every victory that I will inevitably WIN in the next half-season!" (End Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Not that I don't doubt your capabilities, but, this is supposed to be OUR battle! Let us FIGHT it!" Tigress says: "Well, if we were REALLY being fair about things, Sniz would let ME fight the both of you, if you're not COWARDS!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Come on! THINK about it! What in the world would THAT prove?! Sure, you could fight us, we would lose, but would that REALLY make you happy! I've tried going down the whole vendetta route before, Tigress. It DOESN'T work! Just look at Master Coelaceanth!" Tigress says: "Hey! I'm DIFFERENT! I'm capable of doing ANYTHING I put my MIND to, and I KNOW that I can beat you in ANYTHING!!!!" Katarra says: "Except BRAINS!!!!" Tigress yells: "WHAT?!!!" Master Coelaceanth says: "An OPENING!!!!" He tries to produce lightning, but it fizzles out! Master Coelaceanth: "WHAT?! What the hey?!" He keeps TRYING to produce lightning, but NOTHING comes out! Master Coelaceanth screams: "Why isn't my lightning WORKING?!" Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof climb into the arena wall, and they're puffing and totally out of breath. Anti-Cosmo wheezes, and says: "We...finally, got away from that chatty parrot and that dumb dog! Remind me we should NEVER associate with dogs or birds if we can avoid them EVER again!" Anti-Poof says: "You said it!"

Master Coelaceanth says: "It's about TIME you showed up! Look what your botched spell did to me!" Anti-Cosmo says: "For your information, I DIDN'T botch it! Wanda interrupted my spell by cutting off the access to my power before I could complete it! If I had known that this was going to happen, of COURSE I wouldn't have cast it and left you in this incomplete state!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, you're here now, so cast a spell and bring me back to life again!" Anti-Poof chuckles nervously, and he says: "Uh, funny you should mention that. You see, Wanda, kind of shut off the access point for our powers. We can't restore you even though we really, REALLY want to!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "WHAT?!" Anti-Poof says: "And, your powers were ALWAYS connected to the magical source of OUR powers! When you erupted in flames to melt that truck, you used the very last little residual of magic inside of you that was left in your body. You are out of power. It's over." Master Coelaceanth rhetorically says: "Over? OVER?!!!" He bounds with a great leap towards Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof, and Master Coelaceanth says: "NOTHING is over as long as my body is capable of moving! If I can't use my magic, I'll simply have to kill Spongebob with nothing but brute FORCE!!!!" Spongebob says: "Come on! Why do you want to kill ME?! I'm a nice guy!" Squidward asks: "Do you want the LONG story or the short version?" Spongebob says: "Oh, you mean he hates me the same reason YOU seem to hate me for no good reason? Completely belittling me and blaming me for every single thing that goes wrong with YOUR life even when it can't POSSIBLY be MY fault? Hating me for ONLY trying to be friendly with you? Liking you because I actually think you ARE a great Clarinet Player and artist even when very FEW others do? Have I left any OTHER reasons out?" Squidward is stunned, and unable to say a word.

Spongebob says: "Yes, Squidward. I know and remember EVERY single occasion that you have SAID that you don't like me, and I'm starting to think that you're not just saying that, because you'd rather be doing something else, like pursue a relationship with Squilivia!" Squidward says: "I haven't seen her in ages! It HAS to be something to do with you!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh, PLEASE! Why don't you just accept the fact that Squilivia was SO far out of your league, that YOU mating with her would've been basically inter-species breeding, and get ON with your sad, pathetic life?!" Wally asks: "Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black or something?" Bubble Bass says: "Blonda's case is DIFFERENT! She morphed into the same species of fish as ME, so I don't think it counts!" Master Coelaceanth says: "It doesn't matter WHY I hate you, I just DO! So, come on down and FIGHT me if you want to taste your cold DEATH!" Tigress moves in front of him, and he says: "You're not harming ANYBODY!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "You'd DARE fight ME?!" Tigress says: "Fight you? No, I'm going to DESTROY you!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You THINK you can destroy me?!" Tigress says: "I don't think it, I KNOW it!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, if I'm something that can be stopped, than JUST try to stop me!" Tigress and Master Coelaceanth begin sparring at each other, and Private says: "Woah! Those two are WAY out of my league! I'd NEVER be able to fight Tigress like that!" Marlene says: "Well, SOMEBODY has to stop this! Tigress is PHYSICALLY stronger than Master Coelaceanth, but because he's STILL undead, he can't FEEL pain, so he won't ever need to stop, whereas Tigress' strength will eventually wear out!" Bubble Bass says: "I have an idea! Gordon Quid!" Gordon says: "What do you want?!" Bubble Bass says: "What exactly have you been hauling in your truck?!" Gordon says: "See? SOMEONE cares what I've been hauling!" Tigress says: "Not helping!" Gordon says: "Well, I do have something that MIGHT help, but you might not like it though!" Bubble Bass says: "I'm starting to get a little nervous. What exactly do you have?"

Gordon Quid says: "Well, what I have been hauling in my truck, is a whole bunch of deep fry FISH oil!" Johnny Krill nervously yells: "FISH oil?!" Squidward yells: "Fish oil?!" Bubble Bass yells: "Fish oil?!" Spongebob yells: "Fish oil?!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "Fish oil?!" Patrick yells: "Fish Oil?!" Spongebob and Squidward look at him strangely. Patrick says: "WHAT?! No one is THAT stupid!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "In some weird way, I'm beginning to think that Patrick might be right about ONE thing! The mechanations of his inner mind ARE an enigma!" (End Confessional) Bubble Bass looks at his father, and General Barracuda says: "It's your call, son. Just remember what I taught you; follow through." Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "It's the only way to stop him. Gordon, fill my firing mechanisms up with that stuff!" Gordon asks: "You WANT to help Tigress?!" Bubble Bass says: "I'm planning for the next half-season! Tigress will owe me a FAVOR, then! I give her a favor now, for a favor later!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You think I'm just going to LET you DOUSE me with that stuff?!" Private says: "No, but I CAN help hold you BACK!" And Private uses his metal arm extenders, to keep Master Coelaceanth in place! Master Coelaceanth yells: "No! Let me go! Let me go!" Private says: "After the way you threatened Spongebob? You're out of your mind!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Bubble Bass, you can't fire that thing! What will that MAKE you?! It would make you absolutely no DIFFERENT from me! You'd be no different than you're FATHER at his worst!" Bubble Bass says: "You're wrong! I only want to STOP you! You're interested in destroying the whole ocean! I can't ALLOW that!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You fool! If you douse ME, what's to stop THEM from dousing the REST of your kind?! You're seafood to them! They will HUNT you! They will EAT you! They'll destroy EVERYTHING that you cherish until there is nothing LEFT of Bikini Bottom! Is THAT what you WANT?!!!"

Bubble Bass says: "YOU fool! That's NOT going to happen even if YOU are alive, so it doesn't even MATTER! Sorry, Master Coelaceanth, but it's hook, line, and SINKER!!!!" And Bubble Bass FIRES the hot deep fry oil onto Master Coelaceanth, turning him from an undead corpse into a gigantic fish fry! Tigress says: "A fish fry! How poetic! I've always WANTED to sink my teeth into a fresh FISH meal!!!!" Even without a functional mouth, Master Coelaceanth SOMEHOW manages to scream: "No, no, NO!!!!" And the camera turns to face Patrick as loud chomping is heard off-screen from his vantage point. Patrick says: "See? Unlike SOME shows, we have the decency to turn the camera AWAY from footage like that, even if he WAS evil!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, it looks like Master Coelaceanth's story has been wrapped up, with absolutely NO loose ends to tie up!" Than Tigress' eyes briefly glow GLOWING red, and a sinister voice lowly says: "Mwa, ha, ha, ha!" Bubble Bass says: "Than again, maybe not. But we'll deal with it during the NEXT half season IF it becomes a problem and NOT before!" Sniz says: "That's great and all, but, we STILL have a challenge to finish, and you've WASTED enough time as it is! We need to find out who are winner is! And NO more fish oil!" Bubble Bass says: "Fair enough! It's time to see how strong YOUR suit really is, Private!" Private says: "What are you saying?" Bubble Bass says: "Meet me head on I want to see how well you REALLY made your suit!" Private says: "All right, then! Just remember, YOU asked for it!" And as Private shoots like a rocket towards Bubble Bass, Bubble Bass says: "Bubble up!"

And Bubble Bass quickly puts up a gigantic bubble, but the resulting collision STILL breaks both of their mechanical creations apart, and the two of them are weary, wobbling on their last legs! General Barracuda says: "Come on, son! Stay up!" Kowalski says: "Don't fall down now, Private!" Sniz says: "Well, looks like it might come down to luck after all Could one move mean ALL the difference in the world?!" And in a split second difference, Private falls down first, and Bubble Bass falls RIGHT on top of him! Private says: "Bubble Bass, get your BUTT out of my FACE!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "I can't move! Deal with it!" Wally says: "Bubble Bass has pinned Private! You have to start the countdown!" Marlene says: "Right! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! It's over! It's all over! Bubble Bass has won Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" General Barracuda rushes to Bubble Bass' side, and gets him out of the wrecked metal! General Barracuda says: "Son, this has been the best season I have ever been part of. I find a son, and I lose an enemy. You did your old man proud, today." Bubble Bass says: "Well, somebody had to stop Master Coelaceanth. And if I didn't, who would?" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, I've been saving something special for such a special occasion. Why don't I buy dinner with all the pearls I've been kepping in the lake?" Bubble Bass says: "PEARLS?! Those were YOUR pearls?!" General Barracuda says: "You know about them? How?" Bubble Bass says: "I found them in the very first episode of the competition! I didn't know they were yours! If I did, I never would've taken them!" General Barracuda says: "Well, those pearls WERE my retirement nest egg...but, you DO have a family of your own that you will soon have to think of. And I've kind of grown to like working here anyways. I'd say the money is yours for taking care of Master Coelaceanth! You've more than earned it!"

Bubble Bass says: "Well, the money isn't just for me. I've learned a lot from everyone who came here. With $24 million, it's not exactly EASY to come up with a 14 way split. I know! I'll use $21 million to split evenly between us fourteen contestants, so we'll each get $1.5 million, and the rest I can use as a nest egg to support Blonda and my son!" General Barracuda says: "Sounds like a plan to me!" Kowalski comes to Private, and he asks: "Are you all right?" Private says: "I'm fine. I can't believe I forgot that Bubble Bass could make bubbles! It was just, the heat of the fight, and the fact completely slipped my mind!" Kowalski says: "Well, I guess we all make mistakes sometimes, but at the very least, you can always choose to learn from them. And if it's any consolation, both Marlene and I will be around to support you in the next half-season." Private says: "Thank you, Kowalski. That means a lot to me." Bubble Bass says: "No need to worry! I have decided to split the prize money evenly! An even $100,000 split between all fourteen contestants, EVEN Tigress!" Tigress says: "It was never about the money for me, just for the title! I might have lost the title THIS time! But just wait for the NEXT half of the season, and, watch out everyone!" Sniz says: "I'll fly everyone to Bubble Bass' party at Malibu, California on my PRIVATE LEAR Jet! Fondue, I'll let YOU close off the season!"

Fondue excitedly says: "Really?! I'd be glad to!" Sniz, Spongebob, Patrick, Squidward, General Barracuda, Wally, Marlene, and all the contestants get on the plane. And as it leaves over the horizon, Fondue says: "And that has been Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! We'll be going into production pretty soon for the second half of Season Four, so when we come back, we will find out who will be participating, in Total Cartoon Legends!" Than police sirens wail, and Police Officers Bob and Nancy jump out of their police cars, and Gordon says: "That's the guy! That's who's responsible for MY suffering!" Police Officer Nancy says: "Fondue Brokowski, you are under arrest!" Fondue asks: "On what charges?!" Police Officer Nancy pulls out a list, and she says: "Hiring scab labor during a union strike, utilizing dangerous black magic known to cause effects such as baldness, temporary gigantic growth, involuntary invisibility, involuntary age regression, reanimating a dead, dangerous pyschopath and the like; turning a blind eye to Anti-Cosmo's blatant cheating in regards to Tigress, letting General Barracuda help Bubble Bass have an unfair advantage in a challenge, sending contestants into a dark cave without proper cave safety equipment, utilizing LIVE cannon ammunition on a pirate ship, allowing contestants to steal and than later use a death ray laser...thingy, reckless endangerment of a contestant's life in regards to Private, allowing Bubble Bass and Po to run around naked without a proper permit, allowing four super dangerous villains to invade and distrupt a challenge simultaneously, not checking Jenny Wakeman for dangerous weaponry BEFORE she entered the competition, wrecking a dance studio and violating the terms of a deposit, allowing Tigress and Master Coelaceanth to take Gordon Quid hostage, and reckless usage of deep fry fish oil in the presence of aquatic sea creatures! And let's not forget, you decided to take ALL the responsibility of ANYTHING that happened this season, Fondue!" Fondue gulps nervously, and he suddenly realizes that Sniz HAD a point after all at the beginning of the season, and all Fondue can say is: "Oh, boy! I am in SO much trouble when Sniz finds out about this." Anti-Cosmo says: "I'm not poofing anything!" Anti-Poof says: "And why is that?!" They both sing: "Cause we're on STRIKE!!!!" / And the episode ends! /

Episode Notes: Canon ending where Bubble Bass wins. Featured music in this episode, The Beatles "Hey Jude" (in the alternate version), the "We're On Strike Reprise" from "Rocko's Modern Life" in the canon version, and an edited version of Jefferson Starship's "Miracles" in the canon version. Master Coelaceanth's threat is stopped due to the fact that Tigress LITERALLY makes a meal out of him, but due to the fact that menacing laughter comes out from Tigress after she has eaten him, this might not be the LAST of Master Coelaceanth's threat to the contestants. It is revealed to Squidward that Spongebob HAS been remembering all the previous times Squidward has blamed him for something, even if it was for something that couldn't POSSIBLY be his fault! Fondue Brokowski gets arrested for all the illegal actions that has been performed in this episode. / Personal Notes: Don't get me wrong, this was actually challenging for me, trying to write the same episode, but different enough, so that you would be interested in seeing the alternative ending. I'm kind of glad I didn't attempt this sooner, I might not have been able to pull it off this well. Anyways, I'll be coming up with the roster of contestants for the second half of season four when I am able. I just want to let you know that this has actually been fun for me. I hope it was fun for you to. Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

Final re-run for the night; it's time for the first episode of "Total Cartoon Legends!" I hope you'll enjoy it! / The episode opens up in the middle of a large studio room, not seen since the mid 1990's! Sniz says: "Welcome to the mid-season premiere of Total Cartoon Legends! You may remember at the end of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, after Bubble Bass won and I flew everyone except Fondue to an exclusive party in Malibu, California, Gordon Quid called the cops on my brother Fondue, and rattled off the laundry list of crimes he had committed during that season! So, while General Barracuda and I have to wait for Fondue to finish his mandatory court-ordered community service, we got a brand new co-host, in the form of Toltec/Mayan/Aztec Temple guardian, Olmec! The face of the temple comes to life, and Olmec says: "Greetings, Sniz. It is good to be functional again." Sniz says: "Truth be told, the studio WANTED to get Kirk Fogg back here, but he was TOO expensive, so they brought me back instead! In addition to filming on the actual lot of Universal Studios in Hollywood, California, there will be a unique twist this season! Mainly, for the first time ever, we will have FOUR teams! And not only will they have to compete against each other, sometimes they will have to cooperate WITH each other, in order to prevent one of their own, from taking the brand new Mine Cart of Shame as elimination! There will be no shortage of surprises this time around, so it's time to get to finding out what they will be, on Total Cartoon Legends! /

During the show intro, while Smash Mouth's "All Star" plays, the action that happens during the song, is that Sniz walks out of his trailer, breathing in fresh California air. He first walks to Bubble Bass cuddling with Blonda and their new, purple fish baby, only for all THREE of them to make their finger and their thumb into a shape of an "L" on their foreheads. The action zooms to the Temple Moat, where Private and Kowalski are swimming, only to be quickly fished out by Kitty Katswell, who is disappointed by what she has fished out, and promptly discards them with a mighty swish into the air. They land on Tigress, who throws them to the side, and she sees Aang running, and she immediately starts running after him, initiating a race. The action shifts to the Steps Of Knowledge, where Judy Funny climbs up the steps, only to be greeted by a smiling Zarbon, who is flustered when Wally and Darwin swing in and land on him. Otto laughs at the situation, only to be met with a disapproving look by Haggis McHaggis. The action shifts into the Temple, where Squidward gets grabbed by a Temple Guard, while Spongebob finds a Pendant of Life. The action shifts to the cafeteria, where General Barracuda is SURPRISED that Dog, Heffer Wolfe, Buhdeuce, Monster Krumholtz, Taotie, Gonard, and Po, can't get ENOUGH of what he's cooking! The action shifts to Bulma looking at a camera monitor looking at that action, looking completely BORED by it, so she INTENTIONALLY pushes a button, and the camera SWITCHES to a gigantic explosion! It switches to Verminious J. Snaptrap in the middle of the explosion, Dudley Puppy and Chameleon rushing into wave hi. Snaptraps pulls out a blaster, only for Chameleon to transform into an even BIGGER one, and allows Dudley to grab him as the blaster, and chase Snaptrap away! While they're chasing Snaptrap away, Super Chum can be seen flying overhead, and decides to follow their action. As they leave the screen, a green limo pulls up, revealing Harvey Beaks and Fee inside. A line-up of various other contestants in their official team uniforms are seen; namely, Sandy, Stimpy, Gerald, Pearl, Zim, Marlene, Larry, Sway-Sway, Keswick, Kaput, Johnny Krill, Jenny Wakeman, and Yakety Yak, all ready to race the moat, while Sniz and Olmec watch on. The action shifts to the Performance Review Studio, where Treeflower decides to kiss Norbert, only for Daggett to fall in-between them on the couch. The camera pans out to reveal the entire competing cast surrounding them, and the show title "Total Cartoon Legends" Created by Jason Cantu, as the show intro ends. /

Smash Mouth sings: "Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead. Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets?  You'll never know if you don't go, you'll never shine if you don't glow. Hey, now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold. Only shooting stars break the mold. It's a cool place and they say it gets colder, you're bundled up now, wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ, judging by the hole in the satellite picture. The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored. Hey, now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid! And all that glitters is gold. Only shooting stars break the mold. (Instrumental Break) Hey, now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play! Hey, now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid! And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars. Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept. I could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little change. Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming! Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running! Didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to see, so what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. (GO!) You'll never shine if you don't glow. Hey, now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid! And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars break the mold. And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars break the mold!" / And the epic song ends! / "The Legend Of The Promethius Torch!" /

Sniz says: "Okay, it's time to reveal our contestants this season! With only TWO exceptions, all of them will be returning contestants from a previous season and/or seasons! Let's welcome our first contestant, Daggett Beaver! Daggett runs in, and he says: "Wow! I can't believe you introduced me FIRST! This has never HAPPENED to me before! Usually, I'm not introduced anything until late or LAST! This might be the trend of something new and great!" General Barracuda says: "For YOUR sake, let's hope so!" Daggett looks incensed, but he shakes his head, and says: "Thanks to coaching from my older brother Norbert, I know you only SAID that to get under my skin, but it's NOT going to work THIS season!" General Barracuda says: "Can't blame a guy for trying!" Sniz says: "Technically, he COULD! But let's not get into that, now! Our next contestant is returning athlete, Otto Rocket!" Otto skateboards in, looking cool and unconcerned. General Barracuda says: "Listen to me VERY carefully, Otto! I don't want you doing ANYTHING dangerous, deadly, dumb, disastrous, drastic, or dreary in your misguided attempts to try to impress your fans!" Otto says: "Come ON! Who do you think I am?! Rhetorical question, by the way! I'm not going to do anything immoral or illegal! I'm a MARRIED man, now! Suzie would metaphorically KILL me if I did anything that would upset her!"

General Barracuda says: "Well, now I know who wears the pants in YOUR family!" Otto face-palms himself, and he says: "That is SO out-dated and SO sexist, it doesn't even warrant a PROPER response from yours truly!" General Barracuda says: "Hey, I'm a big, scary army guy! I don't think anybody's going to send any complaints to yours TRULY!" Sniz says: "Well, let's not test THAT theory! Our next contestants are, Sandy Cheeks, and Stimpy J. Cat!" Sandy Cheeks walks in normally, but Stimpy TRIES to walk in all spy-like, failing because he fails to account for his body frame and the lack of objects that could realistically HIDE his body frame! Sandy says: "Stimpy, what are you up to?" Stimpy says: "Not so loud! I'm trying to be incognito! I DON'T want my EX boyfriend/ husband Ren to know that I'm here!" Sniz says: "That won't be necessary! REN'S jail doesn't GET our channel!" General Barracuda says: "To specify, they get cable, but they only get one channel, The Oprah Winfrey Network!" Stimpy says: "Why is THAT a bad thing?! A lot of people LIKE Oprah Winfrey!" General Barracuda says: "Has anybody YOU know who WORKED on ANY Nickelodeon Show EVER appeared on one of HER shows?" Stimpy says: "Not that I know of!" General Barracuda says: "She doesn't like US!" Sniz says: "Your words, not mine! Our next contestant is, Aang the Avatar!" Aang uses his air-bending powers to blow his way in! Sniz says: "It's good to see you again, Aang! I can't WAIT to see what crazy, RAGE filled antics you'll provide us with THIS time!" Aang says: "How many times do I have to REPEAT this?! That was mostly MESOGOG'S doing! I was freaking HIJACKED in my own body! Besides, I'm not BITTER about that live-action movie anymore, and I'm NOT going to irrationally freak out! I'm ABOVE all that, now!" General Barracuda says: "We thought you MIGHT say that, which is why we brought a little insurance in the terms of our next contestants, Tigress and Po!" Tigress leaps in with her USUAL tiger grace, while Po is panting, struggling to catch up!

Tigress taunts: "Hey, BARBIE GIRL, EMBARRASSINGLY dance to any STUPID pop hits lately?! Spend MULTIPLE MILLIONS of dollars on a live-action movie project that critically TANKED?! FAIL to get the BETTER of the Boom Vets even though they were all full of LOSERS unqualified to beat YOU in a race?! Fail to start a fire when a freaking WHALE who LIVES underwater managed to start it BETTER than you?! Hey, AvaTURD; DUH!!!!" Aang's emotions LITERALLY turn his face red, and he exclaims: "This...is...HAPPENING!!!!" He blasts fire-bending all over the place, prompting Wanda to fly in to quickly zap them before they can hit anything! Aang continues screaming: "HAPPENING!!!! HAPPENING!!!! HAPPENING!!!! HAPPENING!!!!" And Wanda dumps a bucket of cold water onto Aang, drenching him, and calming him down! Aang says: "This isn't OVER! I'll make you pay with one of your nine LIVES for this!" Po FINALLY catches up with Tigress, and Po pants, and says: "He has a point, Tigress! You KNOW one of your nine lives is going to go to HELL for this!" Tigress says: "Probably, BUT WORTH IT!!!!" (Confessional) Tigress is in a Tiki Room Confessional, and she says: "YES!!!! I'm the FIRST to use the brand new Confessional for this season! Now, WHY did I antagonize Aang like that? First, General Barracuda paid me $20 to rile up Aang in order to make him more INTERESTING this season! Secondly, I HAD to rile him up! HELLO! I already KNOW that SPONGEBOB is going to be a contestant this season, and unless I riled AANG up to be interesting, I would be STUCK competing against 43 LOSERS!!!! Because we ALL know that NOBODY has what it takes to be an actual threat to me; an angry Aang is the ONLY thing that comes even REMOTELY close to being an ACTUAL challenge! And no challenge equals no excitement for me! At least I'll be able to have some FUN for a FEW episodes, because everybody else is going to be a total NON issue for me, ESPECIALLY that USELESS Spongebob Squarepants!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Barring anymore freak-outs, our next contestants are, Bubble Bass, and Blonda!" Bubble Bass walks in normally, while Blonda is shown carrying a brand new, purple fish baby! General Barracuda says: "Hold it! Blonda, what did YOUR contract say about bringing in a BABY?! You can't compete with a baby; they're too young and innocent!" Stimpy says: "Even I know that!" Blonda says: "Well, I figured you MIGHT make at least ONE exception, seeing as how THIS just happens to be YOUR grandchild! I call him Rube Goldfish!" Daggett says: "SAY, is that the SAME Rube Goldfish who sometimes randomly pops in and out of Spongebob Squarepants and The Patrick Star Show?" Bubble Bass says: "Possibly. I mean, he IS half-magic on Blonda's side of the family, so it's possible that he has harnessed his abilities in the future, and has come to the past. I don't know why, obviously, because I'm not there yet." General Barracuda says: "Well, if he's MY grandson, why doesn't he HAVE either MY last name or my son's last name?!" Blonda scoffs, and she says: "Like I'd let him KNOW that Bubble Bass was the ONLY guy who was willing to have a child WITH me, and that YOU'RE his Grandfather! No offense, Bubble Bass!" Bubble Bass is actually puzzled, and says: "None taken?" Blonda says: "And while I do appreciate the fact that Bubble Bass was able to win a season of this show, I don't want what basically amounts to a nudist, living around OUR son! Not until he's old enough and mature enough to decide for himself what he wants to be." General Barracuda shrugs, and he says: "Fair enough, but in any case, he can't be around on the set, there's too much going on." Stimpy says: "Don't worry about it, I already thought ahead, and I asked Phil Deville, Lil's brother, to babysit for us! That way, Blonda and Bubble Bass can compete without worry!" /

The scene Gilligan Cuts to Phil in a hotel room, taking care of Rube, and Phil says: "It's a living!" / The scene cuts back to the studio, and Sniz says: "And now, because we wanted 44 contestants, we needed two NEW contestants to round out the roster! So, our first of new contestants, Spongebob Squarepants very own, Squidward Tentacles!" Squidward runs out and says: "Thank you! Thank you!" But all he HEARS are the sounds of crickets chirping! Squidward sarcastically says: "VERY funny! Let's all LAUGH at the octopus!" Sniz says: "And now, a paragon of perpetual youthful, idealistic energy, a bundle of unbridled enthusiasm, a fry-cook among legends, everyone's favorite cartoon personality, Spongebob Squarepants!" And Spongebob walks into THUNDEROUS applause! Spongebob blushes, and he says: "Oh, please! I'm SO unimportant!" Squidward says: "The NERVE! To step into MY applause! Trying to upstage me, as if THAT were humanly possible!" Spongebob DRAMATICALLY misses Squidward's point, and Spongebob asks: "How CAN it be humanly possible? NEITHER of us are humans!" Squidward angrily says: "YOU'RE DESPICABLE! I HATE YOU!!!!" Spongebob says: "Whenever you say, 'I hate you', I know it REALLY means 'I love you'!" Squidward says: "I...DOH!!!!" And Squidward REALIZES what Spongebob ALMOST made him do, and Squidward says: "Curse you muscle memory!" Sniz says: "And now, back by POPULAR demand from season three, the Anime superstars themselves, Zarbon and Bulma Briefs!" And they walk into thunderous applause! Aang says: "I think I must have MISSED something! Are THEY actual Nicktoons?!"

Sandy says: "By that logic, are Judy Funny, Marlene Otter, Kaput, Taotie, Tigress, Gonard, Po, Wally, Kowalski, Private, and Yakety Yak actual Nicktoons?" Aang says: "I'm surprised that I can't actually refute that." Zarbon asks: "You're NOT going to try to pull any scams THIS season, are you Bulma?!" Bulma scoffs, and she says: "You underestimate me! There's no WAY I'm pulling a repeat of the LAST time I was here! I'm fully aware on how THAT turned out! Instead, I'm going to try to play as fair of a game as I can, and see how far I can get!" Zarbon humorously chuckles, and he says: "I'll believe THAT when I see it!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "What Zarbon doesn't realize, is that I'm officially married, and a mother now. And when you have a child, it really helps to put things in perspective. What you thought was absolutely important to you when you were younger, turns out to not really be so important to you when you have a one year old baby boy who is absolutely dependent on you! And...it's been tough ever since Goku sacrificed his life to stop Cell from destroying our planet. But I've got to do my best to raise a child! And when my son Trunks, is old enough, I'll have Vegeta train him to be a good hero WORTHY of protecting our planet!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "And now, the two youngest, but by no means the least competitive contestants this season, two childhood sweethearts, Harvey Beaks and Fee!" Harvey Beaks and Fee walk out to thunderous applause! Fee says: "You hear that, Harvey?! They LIKE us! They REALLY like us!" Harvey says: "It's hard NOT to like us Fee, I'd like to think that we're very likable!" Sniz says: "I certainly think so! And our next contestant, who has had her share of up's and down's, a beaver diva, Treeflower Fields!" Treeflower walks into scattered applause. Treeflower says: "Well, at least it's not as bad as SQUIDWARD'S reception!" Squidward asks: "Is that a dig against ME?!" Treeflower says: "Don't take it PERSONALLY! I was simply stating a simple fact! You can't hate me for stating the facts!"

(Confessional) Squidward says: "I can think of a whole GROUP of people who could HATE her for stating the facts, but the network executives won't LET me mention them by name!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "And our next contestant, everyone's favorite dramatist and aspiring actress, give it up for Judy Funny!" Judy walks onto the stage, all melodramatically, while her theme music plays! Judy says: "Everyone's favorite actress walks onto the stage. Alone without her boyfriend, and without ANY of her fellow cast-mates! But, despite the ENORMOUS odds, this heroic heart-throb will SMITE all opposition to her crusade, and CRASH it down into the roaring waves! Adieu, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow! End scene!" And while the audience applauds her, everyone else just looks at her weirdly! (Confessional) Treeflower says: "Lil Deville, I think it's safe to say that you've just been REPLACED in terms of winning the CRAZY award! Mostly, because you're NOT competing this season, but STILL!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Okay...getting away from...whatever THAT was, our next contestants are LITERALLY birds of a feather, who fly together in a rocket van, give it up for Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce! And they jump into THUNDEROUS applause! Squidward says: "Oh, COME ON!!!! How can THEY get more applause than ME?!!!" Sway-Sway says: "Well, maybe if you weren't such a colossal HATE butt all the time, people would LIKE you more!" Buhdeuce says: "Yeah, you know what they say! You can attract MORE flies with HONEY than you can with vinegar!" Squidward says: "You can also attract more flies with HORSE POOP than you can with vinegar! What's your point?!" Sway-Sway's smile drops, and he says: "You know, we WERE willing to try to help you this season, but now you can just FORGET it!" Squidward says: "Oh, so now you're abandoning me, just like my mother and FATHER did?!" Buhdeuce says: "Don't blame us! It's YOUR lousy attitude that turned us OFF from you!"

(Confessional) Squidward says: "Come ON! 'Lousy attitude', my four FEET! I'll have YOU know, that I know, that it's never MY fault if people don't like me! I DON'T have an ATTITUDE problem! People have a problem with MY attitude!" / Sway-Sway shakes his head, and he says: "Mark my words, that octopus is heading for trouble one of these days if he doesn't get his act together!" Buhdeuce pops in, and says: "I have NEVER met a guy, more in denial than HE is in, and THAT'S saying something!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Anyways, our next contestant is MOSTLY here, due to the fact that he was UNFAIRLY eliminated the last time he was here; a vile villain and a LOATHESOME low-life, Verminious J. Snaptrap!" Snaptrap walks in, only to hear LOUD boos from the stage, and Snaptrap says: "Ah, 'BOO' yourselves! Like I'm TRYING to win a popularity contest! I'm certainly not going to ask for YOUR opinion! The only reason I'm EVEN here, is because Angelica Pickles can't compete, so I'm filling in for her!" Zarbon says: "Snaptrap, I know what you're thinking, and FORGET it! There's no WAY they are going to let YOU cheat on this season! And you're foolish to think that you can get away with it!" Snaptrap says: "Oh, I won't be cheating! But I wouldn't be surprised if some OTHER unlucky contestants find THEIR hands all grimy and dirty from any 'ACCIDENTS' that might happen this season!" Tigress instantly runs up to Snaptrap, and she threateningly says: "Listen up CLOSELY, you little PUNK, and listen WELL; you will not TOUCH any other contestant without MY say so! FURTHERMORE, don't get ANY funny ideas about TRYING to eliminate ME! I am GOING to be WINNING this season; and NOTHING, NOBODY CAN STOP ME!!!! So just STAY out of my way, ESPECIALLY, if you WANT to keep your tail!" And Snaptrap just gulps nervously! Treeflower says: "Okay, somebody SERIOUSLY didn't get hugged enough as a child! Uh...Stimpy, YOU hug her!" Stimpy says: "WHAT?! Why ME?!" Fee says: "Because WE don't want to get KILLED!"

(Confessional) Fee says: "I know that Tigress isn't ALLOWED to kill us! And if she keeps her RATIONAL thought pattern in check, she won't even THINK about trying to kill us! That being said, if there's ANYTHING I've learned from watching re-runs of these episodes, is that evil contestants have a way of finding things that are SO much worse than DEATH!" / Snaptrap mutters, and he says: "Oh, why does some goody-goody good-doer like Tigress always have to ruin MY fun?!" / Harvey says: "I think that the reason Tigress likes to ruin Snaptrap's fun, is because he's a HATE SINK, and NOBODY likes a Hate Sink! And if he's GOING to be a Hate Sink, he's going to do it ALONE, and I mean ALONE!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Speaking of 'Alone', our next contestant certainly likes to ACT alone; it's everyone's favorite saboteur, Kaput!" And Kaput zooms in on a jet-pack, but nobody applauds him! Bulma rolls her eyes, and sarcastically says: "Oh goody, it's General Mayhem with a side of CRAZY!" Kaput says: "I'd be more worried about YOU and Blonda, you BACKSTABBING excuses for TRAITORS! Both of you UNFAIRLY got me kicked OFF!" Blonda scoffs, and she says: "UNFAIRLY?! HEY! I'm NOT the one who SABOTAGED everyone's athletic event for Team Sniz Is Really, Really, Really, Cool! That was all YOUR doing!" Kaput says: "Maybe so. But bringing Emperor Mavro BACK from the dead! Threatening EVERYBODY with HIS wrath just because YOU couldn't win Total Cartoon Global Cruise? That WASN'T exactly noble, you know!" Blonda says: "Don't you EVER lecture me!" Kaput says: "Too late, I already did!"

(Confessional) Bulma says: "Well, so much for trying to stay out of EVERYONE'S way THIS season! With Kaput on-board, that guy is going to DIRECTLY try to target ME and Blonda; and anyone else he thinks is responsible for HIS elimination! I don't exactly LIKE the idea, but it looks like I'll HAVE to make ANOTHER alliance this season. If not for my OWN safety, than for anyone ELSE I get partnered with!" / Blonda says: "Kaput is SO lucky that I'm NOT allowed to use magic as long as I'm a contestant! But magic or NO magic, he is NOT going to get the BETTER of me! He is going DOWN! Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but SOMEDAY! And than, for the REST of the season!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Speaking of season, it's time to introduce our SECOND new contestant for this season! From the show of the same name, here is Yakety Yak!" And Yakety floats in ala "Mary Poppins" with an umbrella, and everyone loudly cheers him! Yakety says: "Thank you! It's so good to finally be here! I don't know WHY it took me so long to get here; maybe it's because my ARMS had to do all the flapping, and BOY, are they tired!" And everyone in the audience LAUGHS at that joke! Squidward says: "They laugh at THAT excuse for a joke?! That yak couldn't even call his DOG, and make it a BELIEVABLE performance!" Yakety says: "Come on! There's no need to be sour! If you want, I can teach you to be a GREAT comedian, the way I am! I'll even start you off with an EASY one! Knock-knock!" Squidward says: "Go away!"

Yakety says: "Come on! You could at least PRETEND to be interested!" (Confessional) Yakety says: "I don't know WHAT that octopus' problem is! You would THINK that as miserable as HE claims to be, he'd be TRYING to get everyone he CAN to be friends with him! I'm curious to know, why is he SO against trying to make any friends?" / Squidward says: "You want to know WHY I'm against making friends? Here's a hint; he's about four feet tall, has no hair...that I KNOW of, and he's the most ANNOYING guy on the face of the planet?" (Camera briefly cuts) Squidward says: "No! It's NOT Coconut Fred from Coconut Fred's Fruit Salad Island! I'm talking about Spongebob Squarepants! That yellow NIMROD has the STUPID capacity for SOMEHOW making friends WHEREVER he goes! And ANYONE who meets Spongebob and becomes friends with him, AUTOMATICALLY make it impossible for ME to be friends with them, because I'm NOT going to catch SPONGEBOB'S STUPID!!!!" / Treeflower says: "I guess what that meme said IS true: You either DIE a Spongebob, or you live LONG enough to become a Squidward! I SURE hope I NEVER become a Squidward again! That was the WORST time of my LIFE!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Our next contestants, are two of the four penguins from The Penguins Of Madagascar! Give it up for Kowalski and Private!" Kowalski and Private zoom into scattered applause! Private says: "That's strange! The applause for us seems a little lighter for us THIS season, compared to previous seasons!" General Barracuda says: "It's because the studio has BANNED overtly sexist people from attending this studio! That's PROBABLY the reason why!" Kowalski says: "Than why are YOU still here?" General Barracuda says: "Simple. I'm an ACTUAL General, with Diplomatic Immunity, so like MC Hammer once sang, you CAN'T touch this!" Daggett says: "I wouldn't want to anyway, and I've had to touch some pretty gross stuff on MY show!"

(Confessional) Private says: "Kowalski, if there aren't as many people to support us, do you think we STILL have a chance to WIN this season?" Kowalski says: "I think we have MORE of a chance this season! I mean, do we really want SEXIST people to be OUR supporters? They're NOT our target audience anyways! And the reason we have MORE of a chance, is because we WANT it more!" Private says: "Do you really think that?" Kowalski says: "Well, we're going to have to actually compete to prove the theory, but I've always WANTED to do a field experiment, studio environment not withstanding." Private says: "Hooray for experiments!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Speaking of experiments, our next contestant has experienced an experiment gone wrong, and NOW sounds like he has a different voice. But he's STILL determined to give it his all, so give it up for Taotie!" Taotie walks in to scattered applause, and Tigress scoffs, and she says: "Please! I know Taotie inside and out! He won't sound THAT different!" Taotie speaks with a voice that NOW sounds like it's Patrick Warburton's voice, and he says: "Hey, that's what YOU think! I built an experimental translation collar, so I could say pick-up lines in French. But during the course of the experiment, the electricity malfunctioned, causing a change in my larynx, and therefore my voice. Of course, I DO think this voice sounds a LOT better, and NOT on the verge of death! Besides, I have been THINKING more rationally since the experiment! I'll see if I can't win by playing more fairly this time around!" Tigress asks: "Know of any FAIRS where you can PLAY, though?" Taotie mock laughs, and says: "Ho ho, very funny. Ha ha, it IS to laugh!" (Confessional) Taotie says: "Even WITH this new voice, Tigress STILL doesn't take me seriously! It's a little insulting, if I'm being perfectly honest!" / Tigress says: "The day Taotie becomes an ACTUAL threat, is the day I take him seriously! And we all know THAT'S never going to happen, so I don't, and I won't!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Speaking of serious, our next contestant is a seriously cool dude, who has come back, so he can write a BOOK on being cool; give it up for Gerald!" Gerald walks into thunderous applause, and he says: "And Rhonda, if you're watching this show, call me! I'm TOTALLY available!" Squidward asks: "And what makes YOU the expert on being cool?" Gerald says: "Easy! I've got a cool walk! I wear cool clothes! I've got a SMOOTH personality! And I can really KICK...well, you get the idea!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "PLEASE Neptune, let GERALD be on MY team! He's the FIRST contestant I've seen who I think I could ACTUALLY tolerate!" / Gerald says: "So far, the only plan I have is to NOT be on Aang's team THIS season! I was on one the LAST time I played here, and boy, did I regret it! If I can steer away from being around any CRAZY contestants, I think I'll be okay!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Speaking of contestants, our next contestant is the oldest, except for Blonda, that we've EVER had! Why, he's been around for years and years and YEARS and--!" Aang shouts: "Get on with it!" Daggett shouts: "Get on with it!" Treeflower shouts: "Get on with it!" Otto shouts: "Get on with it!" Sandy shouts: "Get on with it!" Sniz asks: "Can't ANYBODY take a JOKE anymore?" Olmec shouts: "Get on with it!" Sniz rolls his eyes and says: "Fine! Haggis McHaggis!" Haggis walks in, carrying his shellaighlee, and Haggis says: "It's so GOOD to be back in Hollywood again! I can already taste the accolades!" Treeflower says: "If you DARE punch me again, I'll NEVER forgive you!" Haggis says: "That wasn't COMPLETELY my fault, I was TRICKED by Kaput!" Kaput scoffs, and he says: "They ALWAYS blame ME! 'My fists did what they wanted, blah, blah, blah, I'm old, blah, blah, blah, I'm a lying hypocrite'!" Haggis says: "At least I will ADMIT to actually MAKING a mistake, unlike YOU!" Taotie says: "Ooh, he's got you THERE, Kaput!" Kaput scoffs, and he says: "I would STILL hate to be HIM, though!"

(Confessional) Kaput says: "To paraphrase a hit song that The Who once sang, I hope I DIE before I get THAT old!" / Haggis says: "In a weird way, it's actually astounding how MY age NEVER seems to get OLD as a JOKE to them! I'm not sure whether I should be flattered, or consider that insulting! I guess I'll split the difference and eat a haggis sandwich!" And Haggis proceeds to do just that! (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Our next contestant really NEEDS no introduction, but I'll give it to her anyways! A massive flirt, and a BIG help to us during Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, give it up for Marlene Otter!" And as Marlene walks in, Janet Jackson's hit song "If" plays, and Marlene lip-syncs along to it!

Janet sings: "Sittin' over here, starin' in your face with lust in my eyes, sure don't give a damn. And ya don't know that I've been dreamin' of ya in my fantasy. Never once you looked at me. Don't even realize that I'm wantin' you to fulfill my needs. Think what you want, let your mind free. Run free to a place no one dares to. How many nights I've laid in bed excited over you? I've closed my eyes and thought of us a hundred different ways. I've gotten there so many times. I wonder; how 'bout you? Day and night, night and day, all I've got to say is if I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you. I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you. But I'm not, so I can't, and I won't, but; if I was your girl. Allow me some time to play with your mind and you'll get there again and again. Close your eyes and imagine my body undressed; take your time, 'cause we've got all night, ooh. You on the rise as you're touchin' my thighs. And let me know what you like, if you like I'll go down, down, down, down, da, down, down. I'll hold you in my hand and maybe, you're smooth and shiny, feels so good against my lips, sugar. I want you so bad, I can taste your love right now, baby. Day and night, night and day, all I've got to say is, if I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you. I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you. But I'm not, so I can't, and I won't, but if I was your girl. If I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you. I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you. But I'm not, so I can't, and I won't, but; if I was your girl. (Instrumental Break) I've laid in bed excited over you; one hundred different ways. I've thought of many, many days and nights, nights and days, and all I want to say is if I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you. I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you. But I'm not, so I can't, and I won't, but if I was your girl. If I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you. I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you. But I'm not, so I can't, and I won't, but if I was your girl. If I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you! I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to! If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you! But I'm not!" /

And the epic song and dance sequence ends as everyone applauds loudly! Squidward says: "HEY! How come SHE got to enter in with a BIG production number?!" Marlene says: "Because I paid the cover charge for Janet Jackson to allow that song to be used on this show! Not to mention, she gets sweet, SWEET royalties every time this episode will be played...at least until 2088 when the song enters into the public domain!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "Oh, she is GOOD! Really good! I really hope she's on MY team this season!" / Marlene rolls her eyes, and says: "I REALLY hope I'm NOT on Squidward's team this season! First of all, I have no idea how he will fare as a contestant! Secondly, I can't afford to play the 'Flirt Card' as a married woman anymore! That would be a double standard and an insult to Skipper! It won't be easy, but I'll simply have to rely on my skills and natural friendships if I want to at least make it to the Final Five! Only THAN, will I make plans for what happens after that!" (End Confessional) Sniz looks at his watch, and he says: "WOAH! I didn't realize we've spent THAT much time already! We really don't have time to introduce the rest separately, so, it's time for all the other contestants to come out! Pearl, Darwin, Zim, Larry, Dog, Kitty, Super Chum, Keswick, Heffer, Monster, Gonard, Wally, Dudley, Chameleon, Johnny Krill, and Jenny Wakeman!" Bubble Bass says: "Wally! You DID make the cut! I hope we get to be on the same team this season!" Wally says: "I sure hope so to! But even if we have to compete against each other, I don't want you to hold anything back! I expect you to compete with everything you've got!" Bubble Bass says: "Duly noted." Squidward asks: "Why are you friends with HIM?! You KNOW he's got to have CAUGHT some of Spongebob's STUPID!"

Sandy says: "First of all, stupidity isn't a DISEASE, it can only be SPREAD like one!" Bubble Bass says: "And secondly, unlike you, I used to be a lot LIKE you! I used to judge others PURELY on their outer appearance and what I thought of them! The difference is, I grew up and grew OUT of it! When will YOU?!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Someone had to set the record straight for Squidward! And if I didn't, who would?!" / Squidward rhetorically asks: "ME?! NOT grown up?" Laughs crazily, than he seriously says: "I'll tell you who's NOT grown up! Blind, crazy, STUPID guys named Spongebob Squarepants!" / Sandy says: "You know, sometimes I wonder how Squidward managed to get THIS far in life with SO much hatred in his heart!" / Wally says: "I like how Bubble Bass doesn't judge me for my show, or even what I like. He respects me the way I am, and we like each other enough, that we can be friends despite having some differences! NOBODY should be totally alike in every SINGLE way! Can you imagine how BORING and DYSTOPIAN that would be?! Not at ALL an attractive thought in MY way of thinking!" (End Confessional) Pearl says: "Personally, I find it a little insulting that the rest of us were just all lumped together like that!" Darwin says: "Well, Sniz DOES have a schedule to keep, and he doesn't have all day to just talk about us." Kitty says: "It would be nice if SOMEBODY did!" Dudley says: "You know, Kitty, I could talk about you if you WANT me to!" Kitty says: "It's NOT the same thing!" Keswick asks: "How is it NOT the same thing?" (Confessional) Keswick says: "Even after all this time of working with Kitty, I STILL don't completely understand the way she thinks, and I'm not sure if I ever will!" (End Confessional) Zim says: "Give me a lousy introduction if you must! But mark my words; Zim will have his--!" Larry sarcastically says: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know! Eternal vengeance, you'll have your revenge, yadda, yadda, yadda. Could you give it a REST already?!" Zim says: "Vengeance NEVER sleeps!"

Super Chum says: "It would be nice if YOU did, once in a while!" (Confessional) Zim asks: "How did Super Chum of ALL contestants, get to come back here?!" / Larry says: "Personally, I don't know how Super Chum got to come back here; but I'd certainly rather be on a team with HIM, than ZIM any day!" (End Confessional) Bulma asks: "Gonard, you're NOT going to try and ask me out on a date AGAIN, are you?!" Gonard says: "No! Of course not! I know you don't really like me in THAT way, anyways!" Bulma says: "Good! Than this will make the REST of our season together a whole lot easier!" (Confessional) Gonard says: "I couldn't go on a date with Bulma anyways. I am in a committed relationship with Lily now! We're mostly doing it for the ratings, but I think she's genuinely starting to warm up to me!" / Bulma says: "At least that's ONE less thing I have to worry about THIS season!" (End Confessional) Heffer says: "Hey! You forgot about ME and Monster!" Johnny Krill says: "So did pretty much the REST of the world if we're being perfectly honest!" Monster says: "Like YOU'RE one to talk! You've only appeared in the ONE episode of Spongebob Squarepants!" Johnny Krill says: "I had LEGITIMATE guest star status! I don't do Spongebob Squarepants for minimum wage, you know!" (Confessional) Heffer says: "Ooh, he's got us THERE!" / Johnny says: "Let's get one thing straight. I intend on playing this game the BEST that I can! And I DON'T intend on having Tigress push me around the way she did LAST season! If she tries to push me, I will push BACK! Let's see how SHE likes it when she has to deal with her OWN attitude being thrown right back her! I know it's not exactly nice, but it's PRECISELY what SHE deserves!" (End Confessional)

Chameleon asks: "Dudley, do you think either of us have a chance to make it all the way to the Final Five this season?" Jenny says: "Statistically speaking, I don't think anyone has more of a chance than anyone else...except for Tigress!" Dudley says: "What are you saying?!" Jenny sighs, and she says: "I can't ignore the hard facts! Tigress hits HARD and Fast, she IS hard and fast, she acts on impulse, and she will TOTALLY destroy ANYTHING that gets in her way! You want MY advice? Stay as FAR out of Tigress' way as realistically possible! You'll live a LOT longer that way!" Chameleon says: "What about you? You're a ROBOT!" Jenny says: "Maybe so, but my mom is a genius MECHANIC, NOT a Miracle Worker!" (Confessional) Jenny says: "The one drawback about being a robot, is that I'm DESIGNED to exact specifications, and I'm not meant to exceed them! Tigress can PUSH past her limits, I can't! My best hope, is to HOPE that Tigress does something SO unbelievably heinous and CRAZY, that Sniz can't POSSIBLY ignore it, and eliminate her! Obviously, I don't WANT that to happen, but that's probably what it will take to actually eliminate her! I'm not even sure if everyone BESIDES Spongebob ganging up against Tigress can slow HER down!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Okay, everyone has met everyone, we're all here together, so it's time to reveal how this season will work! With the exception of two of you, you are on this season because you're the best of the best! Representatives from season 1, season 2, season 3, and season 4A. And we're looking for one of you, just one, to be the best of the best! What will follow are challenges based around those found in Legends of The Hidden Temple, as well as some other surprises. Unlike past seasons, this time there will be FOUR teams involved! Our major reason for doing this, is because we hope that with this structure, ONE team won't CONSTANTLY win challenges and beat all the other teams on a regular basis! To further the odds of that happening, in some challenges, two teams will have to temporarily team up together, to face off against the other two teams, and the team structures during those match-ups will NOT remain constant! So, you're going to have to choose your strategies carefully! Because one challenge, you might be facing off against your enemies; but in the next challenge, you might have to work with them! Of course, there are some contestants who MIGHT not have your best interests at heart! That being said, we will NOT allow any cheating this season! THAT means you, Snaptrap and Kaput!" Snaptrap says: "Oh, SURE! Single US out, why don't you?!" Dog says: "It's hard NOT to! You have BOTH done a LOT of lousy things!" Tigress says: "It doesn't matter if THEY cheat; I'll still be WINNING this season!" Sniz says: "First of all, dial down your CRAZY about...a TRILLION notches! Secondly, you will be divided into FOUR teams, based on your predominate abilities in your previous season and your seasons! The athletic contestants will be on the Red Jaguars, the brainy contestants will be on the Green Monkeys, the evil contestants will be on the Silver Snakes, and EVERYONE else will be on the Blue Barracudas!"

This causes Squidward to panic, and he says: "No, NO!!!! I beg of you! DON'T put ME on the same team as Spongebob Squarepants, don't you DO it! Spongebob KNOWS of all the times I've said I hated him in the past, and he will OBVIOUSLY work against me to eliminate me FIRST! I can't be eliminated first; I haven't ACCOMPLISHED anything yet! For the love of Neptune, PLEASE don't put Spongebob on the same team as me!" General Barracuda is HONESTLY surprised by this outburst, and he says: "WOAH! Calm DOWN!!!! We would NEVER subject you to THAT kind of cruel behavior, at least not this early! The team results are as follows: Aang and Daggett are on the Silver Snakes, Treeflower and Spongebob are on the Green Monkeys, Otto and Sandy are on the Red Jaguars, Stimpy is on the Green Monkeys, Judy and Gerald are on the Red Jaguars, Haggis is on the Silver Snakes, Pearl is on the Red Jaguars, Darwin and Wally are on the...well, Green Monkeys." Darwin says: "I am NOT a monkey, I am a chimpanzee!"

General Barracuda says: "Call someone who CARES, like Jane Goodall!" Sniz says: "Anyways, Zim is on the Silver Snakes, Marlene and Dog are on the Green Monkeys, Larry is on the Red Jaguars, Kitty and Snaptrap are on the Silver Snakes, Sway-Sway and Harvey are on the Blue Barracudas, Super Chum and Keswick are on the Green Monkeys, Kaput is on the Silver Snakes, Heffer and Buhdeuce are on the Red Jaguars, Monster and Po are on the Green Monkeys, Blonda and Taotie are on the Silver Snakes, Tigress is on the Red Jaguars..." Tigress says: "YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" General Barracuda says: "He SAID Red JAGUARS, not red tigers!" Tigress says: "Doesn't matter, I'm STILL going to be WINNING this season!" Daggett says: "You know, constantly SAYING something doesn't mean that it IS true; it just makes people more turned OFF from you!" Treeflower says: "That's surprisingly SMART coming from YOU!" Daggett says: "I had to learn SOMETHING from listening to you and Norbert talk ALL the time!" Treeflower says: "Thank you!" Than she REALIZES the stealth insult that Daggett said, and she retorts: "I take offense to 'ALL the time'!" Daggett says: "Your words, not mine!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "At least Daggett and I AREN'T on the same team this season!" / Daggett says: "I am SO glad that I'm NOT on the same team as Treeflower is THIS season! Although I do have to wonder how I wound up in the Silver Snakes! How am I considered villainous?! I mean, are they REALLY counting all the actions I did during the Performance Reviews of season two?! Because if they are, that's REALLY spooty of them!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Anyways, Gonard, Dudley, and Zarbon are on the Blue Barracudas, Bulma and Kowalski are on the Silver Snakes, Chameleon and Fee are on the Blue Barracudas, Johnny and Jenny are on the Red Jaguars, Private, Bubble Bass, Yakety Yak, and Squidward, are on the Blue Barracudas!" Squidward says: "YES!!!! I'm not on the same team as SPONGEBOB!!!!" And Spongebob quivers, and says: "You're...glad, that you're NOT on the same TEAM as me?" Bubble Bass says: "Spongebob, I WOULD tell you that Squidward didn't MEAN that nasty panic attack he had at the thought of being on the same team as you...but that just wouldn't be true." Spongebob sniffles, and runs off crying: "WAAH!!!!!!!!!" Squidward says: "Cry, cry, cry; that weeping sound, it's DISGUSTING!!!! EVERY single TIME, I can't BELIEVE it! Every single STUPID--why did YOU have to say THAT anyways?!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh, NO! You DON'T get that! I told him the HONEST truth! You DON'T get to make ME the bad guy in this scenario! This is YOUR fault! If you had just been HONEST with him from the first TIME that you met him, this wouldn't BE happening!" Squidward says: "Well if Spongebob WASN'T so STUPID, he would realize how much I don't LIKE him!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, if Spongebob is SO stupid, than how come HE'S the one who is in the Green Monkeys, and NOT you?!" Squidward stammers, and he says: "Because I...because you...listen to me, YOU! You're not PINNING this on ME! Because if YOU think that I...that you...I hate you SO much right now!" Bubble Bass says: "Like Spongebob said, whenever you say 'I hate you', it means 'I love you'!"

Squidward says: "I--DOH!!!! NUTS!!!!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I hate it when they do that." / Bubble Bass says: "Don't get me wrong; I would LOVE it if Squidward could get his act together and BE part of our team! But when it comes right down to it, he's going to have to pull his own weight. I won't slow myself down just to cover for any of HIS mistakes! If he wants to make it to the Final Five, he's going to HAVE to straighten up!" / Spongebob is still sniffling, and he says: "I still can't BELIEVE Squidward didn't want to be on the same team as me! After all these YEARS of working together at the Krusty Krab, I THOUGHT he would've changed! But no matter how hard I try, he just won't accept MY friendship! Why doesn't he WANT to be FRIENDS with me?! Everybody LIKES me!" / Bubble Bass shakes his head and says: "You know, I don't think even I have the heart to tell him that it's practically IMPOSSIBLE to have a 100% adoration rating, but I don't know if his heart could take that news. He's bound to find out the HARD way, sooner or later. And when he does, I don't think it's going to be pretty." (End Confessional) / (Commercial Break)
/ The episode cuts back from commercial, and General Barracuda says, welcome back to Total Cartoon Legends, where for once, we DIDN'T take what SEEMED like forever in getting back to the episode!" Sniz says: "You know, there are PROBABLY at least a dozen OTHER celebrities out there who would LOVE to have YOUR job! I heard Mila Kunis is DYING to get out of HER soul-crushing work right now!" General Barracuda says: "Fine! I rescind my last comment! Nobody can take a cruddy JOKE anymore!" Sniz says: "All right! Our contestants are now all suited up, so it's time to explain the rules! Normally, in every episode, Olmec will introduce the legend, that the challenge will be based around. Normally, you will have to swim across the moat, then go down the steps of knowledge! During this two-part challenge, two teams will occasionally have to work together against two other teams. Whichever two teams get down the steps of knowledge first, will have an advantage in completing whatever random challenge we set up, relating to the legend at hand. In the end, only the team that gets the MOST Pendants of Life will get to go into the temple, and retrieve the lost legend. However, since today, we had to introduce everyone and everyone, we are going to have to make this a short challenge, which is just FINE by me! Today, all you have to do is listen to the legend, than I will tell you what challenge you have to do in order to win it! The two teams that win today's challenge, will not only receive immunity, they will get to sleep in a luxurious luxury suite hotel room, for the remainder of the game, while everybody else has to make do with the trailers from Total Cartoon Action! The two teams that lose, will have to simultaneously select only ONE contestant from BOTH teams, in order to be eliminated! In fact, since we only HAVE 30 episodes to work with, 4 of those which will be Performance Reviews, we are going to have a DOUBLE elimination from now, until we have the number of contestants remaining, equal the number of episodes left! Hopefully, that will inspire you to play your A game! Now, it's time for Olmec to tell us about the Legend Of the Promethius Torch!"

Olmec says: "Centuries ago, the Ancient Greeks told of a tale, that when humanity was young, they lived in darkness, fear, and ignorance of one another. One of the Gods saw their pain and suffering, and decided that he couldn't bear to watch humanity suffer. That God was named Promethius! Promethius openly defied his fellow Gods, and from Mount Olympus, brought a sacred fire torch from the mountain, and handed it to humanity! The torch not only lit up people's homes, but it also sparked their creativity, and fueled their quest for knowledge and learning. For Promethius' defiance, he was sentenced to forever push a boulder, up the impossibly steep Mount Sisyphus. The Torch of Promethius was eventually lost to the mists of time, and found it's way to the Temple! Your task is to retrieve the Torch of Promethius and bring it back out of the Temple!" Sniz says: "Thanks Olmec! Where can the Torch of Promethius be found?" Olmec says: "The Torch of Promethius can be found in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey!" Sniz says: "All right! Today, we have randomly chosen the team set-up! The Red Jaguars will play WITH the Green Monkeys, while the Silver Snakes will play with the Blue Barracudas! Now, for today's challenge, in honor of the Torch of Promethius, we have built two large scale replicas of the original torch. You see that unlit flame up at the top? You will have to figure out a way, to build SOMETHING that will help you get from the ground, up to the unlit flame!" Gerald says: "Uh, not to poke holes in your LOGIC, but there is no such thing, as an unlit flame!" Sniz says: "There is for us! The studio won't let you PLAY with actual fire, and that includes Aang!" Aang says: "Tigress STARTED it!" Tigress retorts: "Like YOU could have EVER finished it!" Aang says: "BITE me!" Tigress says: "Only in your sick FANTASIES!" Aang yells: "Are you saying that I'M perverted?!" Tigress says: "Of course not, for a man obsessed with Mark Walhberg in Boogie Nights!" Otto says: "BURN!!!!" Aang says: "Can SHE get AWAY with SAYING that?!" Tigress tosses a $20 bill to Sniz, and Sniz says: "Why YES, she CAN! She's richer AND stronger than you!"

(Confessional) Aang says: "Richer?! Maybe. Stronger?! We'll just see about THAT!" / Tigress says: "I WOULD feel more guilty about antagonizing Aang, but he JUST makes it TOO easy, and fun for me to POSSIBLY feel any guilt!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Anyways, since the studio won't let us use actual fire, you will be using light-up mock torches, in order to light the big torch. The first two teams that light the torch will win!" Haggis says: "Excuse me, but you haven't told us what we have to BUILD in order to GET up to the torch!" Sniz says: "We've got lots of various objects lying around, that you can use to get up to the flame! Arrange them in whatever way you think will be best to get up to the torch! It wouldn't be as challenging otherwise!" (Confessional) Haggis says: "I'm starting to think that I'm getting too old for this!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "One more thing, you cannot FLY or THROW someone up to the torch! You have to win this challenge the way any NORMAL contestant on Legends Of The Hidden Temple would!" Bubble Bass says: "Excuse me, but I have seen EVERY single original episode of the ORIGINAL Legends Of the Hidden Temple at LEAST once, and NONE of the contestants EVER had to light up a giant torch!" Sniz says: "That's what makes it more challenging! Am I right, Olmec!" Olmec says: "Right you are, Sniz!" Bubble Bass says: "Hmmm, that voice sounds REALLY familiar, but I can't quite place where I've HEARD it before!" Sniz says: "In any case, there will be SIX minutes to light the torch! If nobody can light the torch in the given amount of time, we will go to a tie-breaker question. Hopefully, it won't have to come to that!" Blonda says: "Excuse me, but can I have a STUNT double to do this FOR me?!" Sniz says: "What do you think this is; Spaceballs?! Besides, your sister Wanda is LEGALLY required to heal ANY injuries in case they happen on this set! It helps keep our First Aid costs low!" Blonda says: "Thank you, I feel SO much better!" Sniz says: "In any case; on your marks, get set GO!!!!" /

Tigress says: "Teams, I will NOT have a repeat of what happened LAST season; I am GOING to win the first challenge!" Treeflower says: "WE!!!!" Tigress says: "Like I said, WE!" Sandy says: "Tigress, that WASN'T cute LAST season, and it certainly isn't cute NOW!" Tigress says: "Would you PREFER if I DIDN'T correct it?!" Wally says: "I certainly wouldn't!" Gerald says: "So, what exactly do you want us to build?" Tigress says: "WE won't have to build anything! All WE need to do is get up to the top! We can't fly, and I can't THROW someone up there, but Sniz said NOTHING about forming a human pyramid to get up to the top!" Pearl says: "Uh, a lot of us AREN'T human, including YOU!" Tigress says: "Oh, SHUT UP! You KNOW what I meant!" Darwin says: "And just HOW are we supposed to form this pyramid, dare I ask?!" Tigress says: "It's all a matter of weight, and proportion! The stronger, heavier contestants; Pearl, Larry, Super Chum, Heffer, Monster, Po, Johnny, and Jenny, you will make up the bottom portion of the pyramid! The next strongest, Sandy, Dog, Buhdeuce, Gerald, Otto, and Stimpy, will make up the next level of the pyramid! Treeflower, Judy, Keswick, and Marlene, you'll make up the next level of the pyramid! Darwin and Wally, you'll make up the next level of the pyramid! Spongebob, you'll get on top of them--." Spongebob says: "And then I'll get to light the torch?" Tigress actually laughs uproariously and says: "BAH!!!! HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH! HUH, HO! HO! HO! HO! HA! HA! HA! Oh my! Oh, IT HURTS!!!! HA! HA! HA! HA!...WAIT! Were you SERIOUS?! Let me...laugh even LOUDER!!!! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!!" Spongebob asks: "And what's so funny about that?" Tigress stops laughing and she says: "Spongebob, I'm sure Squidward MUST have gone over THIS scenario with you at LEAST 250 times, give or take, but you are simply UNQUALIFIED to light the torch on ONE basis and ONE basis alone; you are a DUMB-BUTT!!!! And there's no way a QUALIFIED winner like me is going to allow YOU to MESS it up for the rest of us! That's why I will jump off of YOU, and be the one to light the torch, so that YOU don't mess it up!"

Spongebob says: "But I WOULDN'T--!" Tigress asks: "Spongebob; do you want to stay on MY good side?" Spongebob says: "Well, yes." Tigress asks: "Do you WANT me to help you out in FUTURE challenges where we MIGHT get paired up together?" Spongebob says: "Yes." Tigress asks: "And do you WANT to keep ALL of YOUR teeth inside of your MOUTH when this season is over?" Spongebob says: "Yes." Tigress quietly says: "All right, than I guess in that case, you better..." Than Tigress screams: "SHUT UP; AND DO WHAT I SAY!!!!" Spongebob says: "Touchy!" (Confessional) Spongebob says: "I'm starting to think that being IGNORED by Squidward, is BETTER than being YELLED at by Tigress!" / Tigress says: "Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely NO use for Spongebob, and I'm not at ALL afraid to let him know that! And while I would LOVE the idea of having Spongebob be the first boot out of here, I am also NOT going to put myself at the risk of being eliminated in the FIRST episode, either! It's a classic case of 'Can't kill you, still need you'." (End Confessional) Meanwhile, the other two teams are arguing and debating what to do! Bulma says: "Okay, teams! Just follow MY lead, and we will ALL be okay!" Daggett says: "YOUR lead?! After the way you LIED to everyone in season three just to get ahead?!" Haggis says: "And HE'S supposed to be the DUMB beaver!" Daggett says: "I RESENT that remark!" Bulma says: "Come on! I came prepared with a BUCKETFUL of plans, as in the plans could LITERALLY fit in a bucket! Won't you at LEAST hear me out?!" Zim asks: "And give YOU the chance to backstab us AGAIN?! Sorry, Bulma! But if YOU suggest it, we're NOT going to LISTEN to it!" (Confessional) Bulma sighs, and says: "I suppose I DESERVE that treatment! I...REALLY didn't think my actions through on season 3. Why can't foresight ever be 20/20 the way that hindsight is?!" / Haggis says: "Truthfully, Bulma probably COULD give us a plan to win! But after the way she fooled most of during season 3?! Too risky! I'd rather lose HONORABLY than make ANOTHER horrible mistake the way I did during season 3!" (End Confessional) Snaptrap says: "I am so LOVING this tension right now!" General Barracuda grabs Snaptrap by his lab-coat, and Snaptrap says: "NOW what?!"

General Barracuda says: "HAND it over!" Snaptrap pulls out ONE tiny laser gun, and he says: "Fine!" General Barracuda screams: "ALL OF IT!!!!" Snaptrap moans: "FINE!!!!" And he pulls out EIGHT more lasers of various shapes and sizes, hidden in his lab coat! General Barracuda smiles, and he says: "There! Don't you feel BETTER now that you KNOW you're NOT cheating?" General Barracuda walks off-screen, and Snaptrap mockingly repeats: "Now that you know you're not cheating?" General Barracuda yells: "I heard that!" Snaptrap yells: "D'OH!!!!" (Confessional) General Barracuda says: "Cheat on OUR show once? Shame on YOU! But we're NOT letting you cheat a SECOND time!" / Snaptrap says: "Why does he insist on RUINING all of MY fun this season?! What's the POINT of being on a game show if you CAN'T cheat on it?! I should've signed up with Disney; at least THEY would've let MY plots run unhindered for about 57 episodes!" (End Confessional) Kaput says: "You fools! The answer is OBVIOUS! I'll simply use my jet-pack to FLY the torch up there!" Sway-Sway says: "That's a no go, though. We can't FLY up there, and I'm PRETTY sure that includes jet-packs!" Buhdeuce says: "Don't you think if flying WAS an option, we would've done it by now?!" Kaput mutters, and he says: "I HATE it when LOSERS have a point!" Kitty says: "It takes one to know one! And why am I on the Silver Snakes?! I've NEVER done anything villainous!" Blonda says: "Well, you DID mistrust Chameleon, and NEVER gave him a chance during season three, even though he did NOTHING remotely worthy of not HAVING your trust!" Kitty says: "That's just GREAT!!!! One mistake, and I'm paying for it for the REST of my life!" Kowalski says: "I can say the SAME thing about SQUIDWARD'S parents!" Squidward says: "Leave MY parents out of this!" Private says: "Oh yeah?! Try saying THAT again to our pointed beaks! I'm a Final Two Contestant, buddy!" Squidward asks: "And that means WHAT to me, exactly?" Fee says: "It probably means that he feels that he's got a FAR better chance of winning this season than you do! And from the way YOU'RE behaving, I frankly can't BLAME him for thinking that!"

Harvey says: "And I'm shocked that I actually AGREE with her!" Zarbon says: "Well, SOMEBODY needs to come up with SOMETHING! I can't save ALL of us with my good looks alone!" Private says: "I've got it! We build a TOWER! A pretty, pink, Princess Tower! From the top of the tower, we can simply lean out, and light the torch up!" Yakety asks: "A pretty, pink, Princess Tower? THAT'S what you can come up with?!" Bubble Bass says: "Come on! It's the first ACTUAL idea I've heard of that COULD work!" Squidward groans, and says: "FINE! I'll help BUILD it, but I WON'T like it!" Taotie says: "Just so long as you help build it, that's all WE care about!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "Did I REALLY take my long overdue vacation from the Krusty Krab, just so I could go through MORE meaningless, menial labor AGAIN?! Of course, I can't AFFORD to be the first boot out, so it looks like I HAVE to do it! And if we LOSE, I am SO voting Kowalski and Private OUT!" / Private says: "There is simply nothing WRONG with being in touch with your feminine side!" Kowalski says: "I certainly don't think so!" / Fee says: "If there's one thing that I've learned from experience, is that you can tell a LOT about something by the way they constantly act and behave! Squidward's constant sarcasm, indifference, anger, and self-loathing, are all just a mask to hide his insecurities of feeling like he will NEVER be good enough for his parents, if he's NOT better than Spongebob! I'm banking on Squidward's CONSTANT need to knee-jerk, do ANYTHING and react in ANY way that will get ANYONE to POSSIBLY like him, to be his ultimate downfall!" / Bubble Bass says: "Look, I'm not saying that building a pretty, pink, Princess Tower is the BEST plan in the whole world, but our teams were STRUGGLING together! I mean, it's better than building NOTHING!" (End Confessional) During the pyramid stacking and the Princess Tower building montage, The Beatles song "We Can Work It Out" plays over it. /

Paul McCartney sings: "Try to see it my way. Do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on? While you see it your way, run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone. We can work it out. We can work it out. Think of what you're saying. You can get it wrong, and still you think that it's alright. Think of what I'm saying. We can work it out and get it straight, or say goodnight. We can work it out. We can work it out. Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend. I have always thought that it's a crime, so I will ask you once again. Try to see it my way. Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong. While you see it your way, there's a chance that we might fall apart before too long. We can work it out. We can work it out. Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend. I have always thought that it's a crime. So I will ask you once again. Try to see it my way. Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong. While you see it your way, there's a chance that we might fall apart before too long. We can work it out, we can work it out." / And the epic song ends as Haggis notices the progress of the other teams! Haggis says: "Team-mates, we need to HURRY, those other two teams are almost finished pyramid stacking!" Zim says: "Just need to use the last of my alien welding technology, and THAT should do it!" The Silver Snakes and the Blue Barracudas look at it! Fee says: "Isn't it great?!" Squidward sarcastically says: "Oh, YES! You'll be the ABSOLUTE talk of the town with this GORGEOUS Princess tower! Why, I bet YOUR friend who's actually NAMED Princess, will be TOTALLY jealous of THAT!" Harvey asks: "Are you making FUN of my girlfriend?" Squidward groans, and he says: "Some guys are just so TOUCHY!" Bulma says: "So, what happens now?" Kowalski says: "Well, Aang, Daggett, Private and I, will run to the top of the tower, with the mock torch, and light up the big torch through the window!" Blonda says: "Wow! That sounds like a GREAT plan! But there's a TEENSY thing wrong with it; there's no DOOR to go into the TOWER!!!!" Kitty Katswell says: "Are YOU saying you two penguins made us go through ALL that trouble, and you DIDN'T think to include a DOOR into the Tower?!"

Private looks flustered, and he nervously says: "Well, maybe if we build a pretty, pink, Princess CASTLE..." And Bulma and Zarbon dope-slap Kowalski and Private simultaneously for NOT thinking their plan through! Meanwhile, the pyramid stacking is all finished! Tigress grabs the mock torch, and she says: "Okay, it's time to WIN this thing!" Snaptrap says: "Those CHEATERS are going to WIN! Help ME cheat to win!" Taotie says: "We're out of time! We're out of options!" Aang says: "Not quite! I'll win ONE way or another!" Dudley says: "But AANG, you CAN'T fly!" Aang says: "It's NOT flying, it's AIR BENDING!!!! I'll show YOU who is the strongest, TIGRESS!!!!" Aang quickly propels himself upward with the mock torch in his mouth, while Tigress quickly leaps up the pyramid with her mock torch! General Barracuda says: "It's going to be close! Here it COMES!!!!" And in super slow motion, Tigress and Aang both descend to light up the giant torch first, with Tigress just BARELY lighting the torch first, causing Aang to scream: "NO!!!!" And they both land on the ground at the same time! But as Aang lands, the Pretty Pink Princess Tower FALLS on top of him! Aang, muffled, shouts: "Okay! When I found out WHO forgot to put in the SUPPORT beams to keep that tower UP, they are SO getting voted OFF!!!!" And Kowalski and Private just whistle nervously! Sniz says: "And it's over, it's all over! The Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars have won immunity! That means that one of you can go into the Temple, and--." Tigress screams: "ME!!!!" Sniz says: "Okay, but you NEED a Pendant of Life to--." Tigress says: "I WON'T need it, IF the Temple Guards have any BRAINS!!!!" Sniz says: "Okay! We'll put THREE minutes on the clock, and GO!!!!"

And Tigress takes off like a rocket, merely SMASHING her way through EVERY single door, and not a SINGLE Temple Guard comes out to try to grab her, and she REACHES the Shrine Of The Silver Monkey in FIFTEEN seconds, and bolts straight for the proper exit, and reaches the exit in ONLY THIRTY seconds of the THREE minute total! Sniz says: "That...was the FASTEST and most UNEVENTFUL temple run in the HISTORY of temple runs! Where were all the Temple GUARDS?!" Olmec says: "Apparently, the Temple Guards were in the rooms to the left, below, and diagonally below the Shrine of The Silver Monkey." Sniz says: "Those were the ONLY three rooms where Tigress wouldn't have LOGICALLY have gone! What were you Temple Guards DOING hiding in THOSE rooms!" A wimpy voice says: "She SCARES us!!!!" Sniz says: "She is ONE contestant! YOU are THREE Temple Guards, and you DIDN'T do your jobs! Look, because we have a schedule to keep, I'll let it SLIDE this time! But next time, you BETTER do your jobs, if you want to earn a paycheck! You can all guard the SAME room for all I care, just do your jobs! Tigress, you, the Red Jaguars, and the Green Monkeys, have all won luxury suite hotel rooms, for the remainder of the season!" Tigress says: "Thank you! And Aang?!" Aang asks: "What?!" Tigress says: "I TOLD you I'd WIN!!!! See you at the LOSER trailers! Oh, wait! No, I WON'T!!!!" And Tigress rushes off to get her stuff, and get them into a hotel room! And Aang says: "I HATE her!" Sniz says: "Silver Snakes, Blue Barracudas, what can I say? Today was NOT a good day to be EITHER of you! Unpack your stuff, and get ready for tonight's elimination ceremony. One member from BOTH teams will be eliminated tonight!"

(Confessional) Squidward asks: "Okay, just out of curiosity, can I vote for NINE losers instead of TWO?! Because with the exception of Bubble Bass, everyone else on MY team was COMPLETELY USELESS!" / Bubble Bass says: "We did NOT get on the right foot at ALL in terms of starting this half of a season! Luckily for us, it's not about how you start something, it's about how you finish it! While there were a LOT of contributing factors to consider, at least Squidward actually HELPED us build the tower! If it hadn't have been for the suggestion and building planning of Private and Kowalski respectively, Squidward could've built us something that could've actually WORKED! I'm going to tell everyone else to vote the TWO of them off tonight! It's the most logical move we can MAKE at this junction!" (End Confessional) The Silver Snakes, and the Blue Barracudas are at a Tiki themed elimination ceremony. Sniz says: "Welcome to the first Elimination Ceremony of this half-season. And while I'm fully well-aware that the ORIGINAL Legends Of The Hidden Temple didn't really HAVE Elimination Ceremonies, we added it in, so that we could make the show more interesting! This season, we have made the voting a little different. You will each be given an electronic voting pad to vote with. Once you have selected the contestants you want to have voted off, confirm your selections by tapping on their icons, than slide a miniature Pendant Of Life into the Coin Slot! Once all the votes are tallied, the contestants who are safe, will receive a Pendant Of Life, that has a NICE chocolate treat inside! And don't worry, Chameleon! We made SURE to have Wanda wish for Dudley and ANYONE else this season, to be able to eat chocolate! Be sure to vote for two contestants, but only ONE from both teams! Once the eliminated contestants have been decided, they will have to board the Mine Cart Of Shame, which will go into the Mine Shaft of Losers! What's the twist, you ask?! That Mine Shaft is a portal to POTENTIALLY anywhere, and it will CHANGE it's destination after every single elimination, so there's no TELLING where you might end up! With that being said, it's time to VOTE!"

Everyone quickly grabs their voting pads, and quickly make their two selections! Sniz says: "It's time to reveal who is safe to play in another game! Aang, Daggett, Haggis, Zim, Kitty, surprisingly Snaptrap, Sway-Sway, Harvey, surprisingly Kaput, Blonda, surprisingly Taotie, Gonard, Dudley, surprisingly Zarbon AND Bulma, Chameleon, Fee, Johnny Krill, Bubble Bass, Yakety Yak!" Kowalski, Private, and Squidward tense up, as they are the ONLY contestants left! Sniz says: "Contestant's, this is the FINAL Pendant Of Life for this evening!" Squidward looks nervously, while Kowalski decides to hold Private's hand, in the assurance that at least ONE of them will be safe! Sniz says: "And I'm surprised by this, but it goes to, SQUIDWARD!" Squidward says: "You are SO lucky you two DIDN'T get me eliminated!" Kowalski says: "I don't understand! Statistically, this is against all odds!" Bulma says: "I'll just have you know that if you had followed one of MY plans, you wouldn't be LEAVING right now!" Snaptrap says: "Chalk that up to the last mistake YOU two will ever make on a game show; good LUCK trying to get on this show again, which you won't!" Private says: "At least we KNOW that we don't have to worry about anyone ELSE trying to backstab us! I'm banking on YOUR team's complete inability to work together to completely DESTROY one another, metaphorically speaking of course!" Sniz says: "Kowalski and Private, time to come to the Mine Cart." They do so, and they strap on helmets and safety gear. Sniz says: "All your gear has been packed in there. Buckle up!" They do so, and they brace themselves! Sniz says: "Ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!"

Sniz says: "3, 2, 1, BLAST-OFF!!!!" And the Mine-Cart LITERALLY rockets down the rail track, and THROUGH the mysterious Mine Shaft portal! Sniz says: "Good-bye, you flightless birds! I have NO idea WHERE you're going! Well, that's two contestants down, and 42 contestants left to go! Who will be the next set of contestants to get eliminated? That's anyone's guess! All I know is, the next Legend will be even MORE fun than this one! So tune in for another episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "Tell them that Olmec set you!" / Stinger: A portal opens in the MIDDLE of Antarctica, and Kowalski and Private arrive through it! Kowalski says: "Well, this is INDEED a lucky turn of events, we're back on our home continent!" Private says: "Antarctica! Beautiful, lovely Antarctica! Home of walrus', seals, killer whales, a million OTHER penguins that look a LOT like us, and the occasional scientist!" The two penguins listen to the wind blow for a few moments, before Kowalski says: "Well, THIS stinks!" Private says: "Well, you can't win them all." / And the episode ends! /

Episode Notes: The half-season premiere of "Total Cartoon Legends", and of four teams, The Red Jaguars, the Green Monkeys, the Blue Barracudas, and the Silver Snakes. Featured songs in this episode; Smash Mouth's "All Star" (returning as the normal episode open), Janet Jackson's "If", and The Beatles "We Can Work It Out". Kowalski and Private become the first two contestants to be voted off during this half-season. Eliminated Contestants: 44. Kowalski. 43. Private. Remaining Contestants: Aang, Silver Snakes. Daggett Beaver, Silver Snakes. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Judy Funny, Red Jaguars. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Haggis McHaggis, Silver Snakes. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Darwin, Green Monkeys. Invader Zim, Silver Snakes. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Green Monkeys. Kitty Katswell, Silver Snakes. Verminious J. Snaptrap, Silver Snakes. Sway-Sway, Blue Barracudas. Harvey Beaks, Blue Barracudas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Kaput, Silver Snakes. Heffer Wolfe, Red Jaguars. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Monster Krumholtz, Green Monkeys. Blonda, Silver Snakes. Taotie, Silver Snakes. Tigress, Red Jaguars. Gonard, Blue Barracudas. Po, Green Monkeys. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Blue Barracudas. Zarbon, Blue Barracudas. Bulma Briefs, Silver Snakes. Chameleon, Blue Barracudas. Fee, Blue Barracudas. Johnny Krill, Red Jaguars. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Blue Barracudas. Yakety Yak, Blue Barracudas. Squidward Tentacles, Blue Barracudas. /

Personal Notes: While I personally enjoyed watching "The Penguins Of Madagascar", for some reason trying to translate the antics and personality of the PENGUINS, into seasons of this show, was like the equivalent of trying to perform a ROOT Canal BLINDFOLDED; hard, and a TOTAL mess! Besides, I felt like I had already written everything I could write about the penguins. The only real reason why Kowalski and Private returned THIS season, besides being EMBARRASSINGLY eliminated first, was to show EVERYONE else that despite the fact that the two of them managed to get pretty FAR during the last half-season, one even making the Final Two, this half-season is going to be a LOT harder, and will have a LOT more twists than what THEY were used to! It sort of sets the bar on what everyone ELSE can expect for the rest of this half-season! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

I'm not quite ready to begin writing a new episode of "Total Cartoon Legends" just yet, so, I'll let you enjoy a re-run of the most recent episode of "Total Cartoon Legends" that I just completed! Enjoy! /
Sniz is standing on the Steps Of Knowledge, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Legends, 42 contestants from various different season/s of our show, met up with each other, and our two new-comers, Squidward Tentacles, and Yakety Yak! Squidward made sure NOBODY, with the possible EXCEPTION of Spongebob, KNEW where Squidward stood, in terms of how he viewed Spongebob! Hot-headed Tigress, on the other hand, managed to keep her grudge MOSTLY to herself! Deciding that it would be FAR better for her to win immunity WITH Spongebob, than causing both HIM and her to lose together, Tigress decided to forego eliminating Spongebob. Meanwhile, the Silver Snakes absolutely could NOT work together, and the ideas of Kowalski and Private, only made things worse. In the end, the Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars prevailed, while the Silver Snakes and the Blue Barracudas, LITERALLY, decided to give Kowalski and Private, the MINE Shaft! Now there are 42 contestants left, and we will soon see just what SIDES of our contestants that they will make public, and the ones that they will try to keep private!" Olmec says: "It is LITERALLY a page-turning adventure!" Sniz says: "That's right, Olmec, and our story opens up on a brand new challenge, and a brand new episode, for Total Cartoon Legends!" /

Instead of the normal show open, it shows the previous villainous exploits of Aang, Daggett, Haggis, Zim, Kitty, Blonda, Taotie, Zarbon, Bulma and Squidward, while The Who hit song "Behind Blue Eyes" plays over the montage. / Pete Townshend sings: "No one knows what it's like to be the bad man. To be the sad man behind blue eyes. No one knows what it's like to be hated. To be fated, to telling only lies. But my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be. I have hours, only lonely. My love is vengeance that's never free. No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings like I do. And I blame you. No one bites back as hard on their anger. None of my pain and woe can show through. But my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be. I have hours, only lonely. My love is vengeance that's never free. When my fist clenches, crack it open; before I use it and lose my cool. When I smile, tell me some bad news, before I laugh and act like a fool. And if I swallow anything evil, put your finger down my throat. And if I shiver, please give me a blanket. Keep me warm, let me wear your coat. No one knows what it's like, to be the bad man. To be the sad man, behind blue eyes." / And the song and montage ends. /

"The Legend Of The Lost Manuscript of Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde". / In the luxury hotel room suites, the Red Jaguars and the Green Monkeys are still sleeping peacefully. All, oddly ENOUGH, except for Tigress, who seems to be experiencing a VERY troubling dream! Thanks to the magic of the Fairy Godparents, we get to SEE what it is! In the dream, it is raining heavily, and lightning keeps striking down on the Earth every few seconds! A disembodied voice says: "You ate me..." Tigress says: "No! It can't be!" The voice grows louder, and it says: "You ate me..." Tigress says: "It's NOT possible! It COULDN'T be HIM!!!!" And the voice yells: "YOU ATE ME!!!!" And a GIGANTIC version of Master Coelaceanth rises out of the ground! Tigress says: "You CAN'T be real! I finished you off! You HAVE no body!" Master Coelaceanth shrinks down to normal size, and says: "That's the PROBLEM, isn't it, Tigress? I HAVE no body, and it's ALL your fault! If you hadn't have eaten me, I wouldn't be STUCK here right now!" Tigress says: "Stuck where?!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Isn't it obvious? Inside of YOUR body. Yes, you DID destroy MY body, which was VERY painful to feel being DIGESTED despite the fact that I was undead! And yet, my soul STILL remains stuck inside of YOU! You may have destroyed my body, but I cannot REST in peace, and it's ALL your fault!" Tigress defiantly says: "So what do YOU want out of ME?! I don't owe you ANYTHING!" Master Coealceanth chuckles menacingly, and says: "Oh, yes, you DO! What if I told you, I could take away the ONE thing YOU care about the most! The...'Love', that Po seems to HAVE for you! You are a STRONG spirit, but even YOU can't keep up your GUARD 24/7! The moment you show a sign of WEAKNESS, your BODY, will be MINE!" Tigress says: "You LIE! Master Coealaceanth!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Am I? Perhaps you'd like a refresher course from General Barracuda! I'm SURE he still regrets the feelings I made him FEEL when I KILLED Ambrosia, and made him feel like it was ALL HIS FAULT!!!! Why, what would Master Shifu THINK, if he thought that YOU, KILLED the DRAGON WARRIOR?!"

Tigress says: "I wouldn't let you! This is MY mind, and I want you OUT!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Think about it! Where could I possibly go? Even if by SOME miracle, you DID oust me out, my spirit could simply find another, more WILLING vessel to share! Suppose I take up residence in PO himself?! There is NOTHING more satisfying, than...ALWAYS hurting the ONE you LOVE!!!!" Tigess says: "NO!!!! I would do ANYTHING for love, but I won't do THAT!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Than what ARE you willing to do, Tigress? You WANT to be rid of me, and I certainly don't want to be STUCK inside of YOU, and it's not because you're a woman!" Tigress says: "What is it, than?!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, you ARE constantly surly, AND the pizza you ate last night was COLD!" Tigress says: "Well, all I want to know is, what do YOU want?! I want to know EXACTLY what you're up to before I make a decision about anything!" Master Coelaceanth says: "I want to UTTERLY humiliate and BREAK Spongebob Squarepants' SPIRIT! The world WILL learn to fear the name of Master Coelaceanth again! And honestly, I need your help!" Tigress says: "And what if I refuse?! What THAN?!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Do you WANT to go BACK to being the FRIGHTENED little girl who could NEVER fight back against HER father or beat him at ANYTHING?! The one who ALWAYS came in LAST, like AANG?!" And Master Coelaceanth SNAPS his fin fingers, and opens a magical window into the real where Aang is sleeping, and Master Coelaceanth DUMPS him into the trash, even from WITHIN Tigress' own mind, as a demonstration of the power he STILL has! Tigress gasps in horror, and she says: "Well, NO!!!!" Master Coelaceanth says: "I KNEW you'd help me! Now, let's make one thing clear; as long as you cooperate with me, I will let you have CONTROL of your own body and you can compete however you'd like! BUT; if you as so much try to speak, write, or communicate in ANY way that I am inside of your body...well, let's just say if that YOU think just having ME inside of you is BAD, imagine how much WORSE it would be if I took full control!"

Tigress says: "Fine! So let's eliminate Spongebob so you can be DONE with this!" Master Coelaceanth screams: "I can't DO THAT!!!! That MISERABLE sponge?! He MUST suffer! My species has managed to dominate for 65 million years LONGER than HIS ever have, and I will not let that EMBARRASSMENT of a species, make a MOCKERY of me! If WE want to eliminate the sponge, we must FIRST go through the PAWNS! We'll make Spongebob SQUIRM by voting off ANY contestant that could help him stand up to me ONE by ONE! And we will START with Kaput and Johnny Krill!" Tigress asks: "Why those two?" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, for starters, they are the MOST unstable and unpredictable elements in this entire season! We can't afford to deal with such random elements THIS season! Therefore, you will make SURE to get THOSE two eliminated at your EARLIEST convenience!" Tigress says: "I'll help you ONLY under ONE condition; you have to UTTERLY promise, no matter how much you are tempted to, you and I can NEVER harm Po!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Does he REALLY mean that much to you?" Tigress says: "He's not just my boyfriend, he's my BEST friend...and by the end of THIS season, he may be the ONLY one I've GOT! And if YOU ever harm Po, I DON'T care what it TAKES, I will find a way to DESTROY you FOREVER!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Fine! What is that nonsense you always say? 'Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a pizza in my mouth'?" Tigress says: "Close enough!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, I CAN'T cross my heart; unless I cross yours, and I can't hope to die, I've already DONE that! But, I promise that I will NEVER harm Po...EVER!" Tigress says: "Fine! Than we have a deal!" /

The dream ends, and Tigress wakes up! Po is right next to her, and he asks: "Tigress, what's wrong?" Tigress, remembering what Master Coelaceanth said, and deciding NOT to risk it, shakes her head, and she says: "Nothing! Nothing's wrong! Just, probably some indigestion from the pizza I ate!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Am I worried about what a slippery slope this is?! I just LIED to Po! Granted, I did it to protect him, but of COURSE I'm worried about this! And I wonder, how all the OTHER contestants would fare, if THEY had to deal with this?! I'm not sure any of them would have the fortitude! But as long as I can keep control of the situation, I can STILL be in control! I'm NOT giving up without a FIGHT!" (End Confessional) Meanwhile, in the trailers that the Blue Barracudas and the Silver Snakes are forced to share, Aang has called all the remaining contestants over for a meeting. Aang says: "Okay, show of hands, who wanted to MESS up the LAST challenge?!" And everyone is taken aback by this! Aang says: "Really? No volunteers? Than maybe I should volunteer a random STRANGER!!!!" Daggett says: "Why are you talking like that?" Haggis says: "Blame Tigress! Ever since SHE reminded Aang of all his failures, WE are now STUCK with General McNUT job again!" Aang says: "NUTS?! I'll tell YOU, 'Nuts'! SOME of us in the Silver Snakes, are some of the most DIABOLICAL masterminds of the ENTIRE Nicktoon Universe, so how in the actual HELL could we POSSIBLY LOSE to SUCH NIMRODS?!!!"

Bulma says: "Just FYI, STILL a totally AVAILABLE beauty of a GENIUS, who could HELP with such problems!" Aang says: "A GENIUS, you say?! You've just GOT yourself my interest!" (Confessional) Aang laughs, and he says: "I don't know where SHE comes from; but in MY experience, you NEVER openly advertise your talents, unless you're Orlando Bloom! But it's like she's ASKING for somebody to EXPLOIT her! Of course, I'm perfectly willing to DO that! And if her plans fail, I'll dump her! No skin off of my nose!" / Bulma scoffs, and she says: "Of COURSE I know that Aang is TRYING to play me! I'm LETTING him think that he IS playing me! Besides, it's not like I have much better options on the table! Aang is one of the FEW contestants who didn't personally witness what I did in season three, so he is a blank slate, totally susceptible to MY ideas! I'm not saying that I'm GOING to eliminate him, I would rather prefer it if he could be useful! But if push comes to shove, I WILL vote him off! I just hope it comes LATER, rather than sooner!" (End Confessional) Bulma says: "Here's how it will work, Aang. As soon as I know what the challenge is, I will come up with a FOOL-Proof plan that's SO complete, not even TAOTIE can BLOW it!" Taotie says: "What's THAT supposed to mean?! I'm playing with a FULL deck of cards this time! Besides, you happen to be forgetting the BIGGEST problem on why we lost last time, we simply didn't WORK together!" Kitty says: "Oh! So now the guy who BACKSTABS me in season three wants to WORK together? Good luck with THAT!" Taotie says: "In MY defense, by the point I eliminated you out of the game, you were already BECOMING a liability by NOT getting rid of your irrational hatred of Chameleon! We just decided to cut our losses sooner, rather than later! Look, if you can PROMISE not to irrationally hate another contestant, maybe WE can promise not to UNFAIRLY vote you off so early!"

Kitty rolls her eyes, and says: "Fine! I promise! I just hope that YOU will keep YOUR end of the deal!" Taotie laughs and he says: "Just ask Harvey Beaks! I ALWAYS honor MY deals; EXACT words!" Harvey says: "To be fair, he's NOT wrong! He WILL honor a deal, EXACT words!" (Confessional) Kitty says: "Did I WANT to make a promise to Taotie? Of COURSE not! But, I'm also NOT willing to be eliminated BEFORE the first Performance Review of a season, AGAIN! So, if I have to swallow my pride, and not irrationally hate someone, I can do that! Just so long as it gets me one step closer to the Final Five!" / Taotie says: "Look, I'm not at all proud of the sabotaging I USED to do when I was a villain, I feel somewhat filthy about it, to be honest. I gave warthogs like myself a bad name. At least now, I can put my genius to good use! If I can help us to WORK together, it would totally SHOW Tigress just how much SMARTER I can be, when I use my brain RATIONALLY!" / Harvey Beaks says: "Reformed? Maybe. But there's no way that I could believe that he's TAMED! Kitty can trust Taotie if SHE wants to! I'm staying away as FAR as possible! There's no way I'm getting burned by the same guy TWICE!" (End Confessional) Squidward says: "Contestants, we're ALL forgetting the MAJOR reason we lost LAST time!" Bubble Bass groans and sarcastically says: "Oh, it must be Spongebob." Squidward says: "It's ALWAYS SPONGEBOB!!!! If he WASN'T there to form the top of the pyramid, THEY would have LOST!" Invader Zim asks: "Would you rather have such LOSERS like Kowalski and Private still within our RANKS?!" Kaput says: "And HE'S supposed to be the CRAZY alien!" Zim says: "At LEAST I'm not a saboteur like you!" Kaput says: "Get SERIOUS! You WISH you were as GOOD at invasions as I am!" Zim says: "At least I actually GOT a come-back movie! Where's YOURS?!" Snaptrap says: "OOH, BURN!!!!" Kaput says: "Like I'm worried! I out-lasted Zim LAST time, I can do it AGAIN! No contest!" Blonda says: "And THIS is where he tempts fate!"

Gonard says: "You KNOW about that?!" Blonda says: "I practically wrote the BOOK on that!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I don't know WHY they can't see it! We get RID of Spongebob, we win ALL the rest of the challenges, and I win the season finale! It's a win-win...except for Spongebob, but I don't care!" / Sway-Sway says: "I'm not sure if Squidward realizes this, but for someone who SAYS they don't CARE about Spongebob, Squidward SURE seems fixated on spending a LOT of time thinking about Spongebob!" Buhdeuce says: "I haven't seen a guy be AS fixated on ANOTHER guy, as much as T. Midi fixates on our bread deliveries!" Sway-Sway says: "You said it, Buhdeuce!" / Bubble Bass groans, and he says: "I'm SERIOUSLY thinking about RESIGNING from Squidward's 'We Hate Spongebob' Group! I mean, I only JOINED for the Free Food, anyways!" / Kaput says: "If Zim WANTS sabotage, I'll give HIM sabotage, and I will make it be ALL his fault! He will see that when you MESS with the MASTER, you will ALWAYS get BURNED!" / Zim says: "The way I see it, it's a Win-Win situation. If we win, Kaput's plan to sabotage us will FAIL, and he will look SO bad, the rest of us will vote him off the NEXT time we lose! If we lose, I'll make sure HE gets all the blame and gets voted off! Kaput will find out the HARD way, that there IS such a thing as BAD publicity!" / Blonda says: "I have seen EVERY single Chuck Jones and Rudy Larriva 'Wily E. Coyote' cartoon at least once, and I know for a fact that no matter how HARD Wily E. Coyote tries, he NEVER gets to eat the Road Runner! Mostly because that would END the series, but that's besides the point! The point is, if Kaput is tempting fate, is SO asking for trouble!" / Gonard says: "So Blonda's a book writer? Huh! Who knew?!" (End Confessional) Suddenly, everyone hears a Gong ring!

Over the loud-speakers, Sniz says: "Attention Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars, Kowalski and Private were eliminated during the last Elimination Challenge! Also, please come to the Moat to hear about today's Legendary challenge! That is all!" Spongebob says: "So, are they starting to ANNOUNCE who got eliminated before we physically find out? I have to wonder, why would they do that?" Treeflower physically shivers, and she says: "I'll tell you WHY; it's to put FEAR into all of us! Kowalski and Private BOTH made it to the Final Five LAST time, and they were STILL the first two voted off THIS time! Do you have ANY idea what THAT means?" Stimpy says: "I do, but I'll still let YOU tell everybody!" Treeflower says: "It means that potentially ANYONE could be eliminated at any given time, no matter HOW good you are! If we are going to keep everyone on this team safe, we will HAVE to play at the top of our game, no matter what!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "Going into this, I knew it wasn't going to be an easy ride, but I certainly never thought that two heavy hitters would be eliminated right off the bat! And while I'm pretty confidant about my own skills, I've got the whole REST of my team that I have to concern myself with! Even though we're SUPPOSEDLY the ones with the MOST brains, there's STILL only ONE team of us, and three other teams to contend with! And since we have no team merge anywhere NEAR on the horizon, everybody will have to stay out the same pace! Otherwise, we'll HAVE to vote them off, no matter WHO they might be! Personally, I hope I do well enough to AVOID having such a distinction!" / Stimpy says: "In previous seasons, I NEVER had to worry about being by myself! I ALWAYS had Ren and/or Lil to watch my back and help me! But now that Ren's in jail, and Lil has to watch our kids...I...miss...having...someone...to...help me." / Spongebob says: "Personally, I can't say that I'll MISS Kowalski and Private; MOSTLY because Skipper went out of his WAY to get ME eliminated in season three, he OUTRIGHT sold me out to save his OWN skin! I mean, who DOES that?! I don't like to say this, but I'm actually GLAD that they are gone! At least I don't have to worry about getting back-stabbed by a traitorous bird, AGAIN!" (End Confessional)

The contestants suit up in their team colors, and head for the moat! Sniz says: "Welcome, to the second challenge of this half-season! Once again, we have the Red Jaguars! The Green Monkeys! The Blue Barracudas! And the Silver Snakes! You will have to go through three challenges! And in the end, only two contestants can brave the Temple! But first, Olmec will tell us what today's legend will be!" Olmec says: "Today's legend is, the Lost Manuscript of Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde!" Sniz says: "And no, folks, that was NOT a typo, there really ISN'T a 'The', before the rest of the title of the book! That's pretty, STRANGE by itself, isn't it?!" General Barracuda rolls his eyes, and says: "I've heard BETTER jokes from some of the DARKEST Marvel movies!" Sniz asks: "What do YOU have to complain about? You're getting paid, you have your daughter, one of your son's, and your Daughter-In-Law competing! Statistically speaking, your family has a 1 in 14 chance of winning!" Otto asks: "Winning what exactly?!" Sniz says: "I KNEW I was forgetting to tell you something the LAST time you competed! Yes, there IS a grand prize at the end of the season! With 44 contestants total, we're offering ANOTHER $44.44 million as the grand prize!" Gerald asks: "Will there be other prizes as well?" Sniz says: "Sure! Second place will take $42 million, third place will take $41 million, and fourth place will take $40 million!" Otto says: "Pretty fair prizes, if I do say so myself!" Sniz says: "Now, here's how today's moat challenge is going to work! Since this story takes place in 19th century London, England, the Moat will be filled, with a thick London fog. To get through the fog, one contestant will row with a lantern across the moat, to get to the other side. They must send the lantern back to another contestant before they can cross! The order the teams cross, will determine which order they get to answer the questions on the Steps of Knowledge!" Sandy says: "I thought the last two FINISHING teams were supposed to be eliminated!"

Sniz says: "In the original Legends of The Hidden Temple, sure! But, we only have FOUR teams this time, so we had to modify it a little bit! And remember, you have NO idea which team you'll be getting paired up with today! So prepare for ANYTHING, and be sure to have FUN with it! Red Jaguars, and Green Monkeys, since you both have 1 more contestant than the other teams, you will have to sit someone out." Unexpectedly, Tigress steps first and says: "Uh, I'm still feeling a little queasy over the pizza I ate last night. I'd better sit this one out." Pearl asks: "Tigress, what are you SAYING?! You NEVER miss a chance to compete!" Heard in her mind and by the television audience, but NOT by any of the contestants, Master Coelaceanth says: "She's RIGHT, you know! Is THIS how you PLAN on making any headway towards eliminating WORTHLESS losers?!" Out loud, Tigress says: "I'm merely saving my strength for later, when it will be more useful!" (Confessional) Pearl says: "Something is OFF, and I can feel it! The other day, Tigress was absolutely CHOMPING at the bits to compete! She's NEVER turned down a chance to compete before! Either way, something smells FISHY around here, and I don't mean my half-brother, Bubble Bass!" / Tigress says: "Of course the pizza isn't bothering me! I just need to be able to come up with a plan that's all my OWN, and DOESN'T involve ANYONE else; and it's very hard to do that when you have to focus on a challenge!" / Gerald says: "$44.44 million? Can you imagine the kind of swag I could buy with that?!" (End Confessional) The Green Monkeys huddle together, and Keswick says: "I'll sit out this part of the challenge." Sniz says: "Very well. The two contestants for this part of the challenge will be chosen at random for each team. For the Red Jaguars, we'll have Otto, and Johnny Krill! For the Green Monkeys, we'll have Marlene, and Stimpy! For the Blue Barracudas, we'll have Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce! And for the Silver Snakes, we'll have Aang and Kaput!" Kaput says: "Yes! Vindication is MINE!"

Blonda asks: "But what ARE you vindicating? That's the question that I would like to have answered!" Kaput says: "I hope you don't expect me to dignify that with an actual response!" Super Chum says: "Of COURSE she wouldn't! That would IMPLY that you HAVE something that even REMOTELY resembles as being DIGNIFYING!" Darwin says: "Ooh, BURN!!!!" Kaput asks: "Why are YOU here again?!" Super Chum says: "I finished up my work in Antarctica! With the prize money, I figure I could use it to help clean up the various garbage patches that are in the ocean, and restore some coral reefs!" Kaput asks: "Do you EVER get tired of being such a goody-goody do-gooder?!" Wally says: "Maybe you ought to TRY it sometimes! It might help out your personality...what little of it there IS!" (Confessional) Wally says: "Oh, there's GOOD in Kaput SOMEWHERE! I'm SURE it exists! It probably just takes a while to travel from his head to his fist!" / Blonda says: "If someone is unable to answer me a valid question about themselves, that means they don't even know everything about themselves! And honestly, it's a little tragic, to be perfectly honest. Before I met Bubble Bass, I thought I knew everything there WAS to know about myself! But after meeting him, and having to endure nine months as a...fish, it made me re-evaluate my life, and it made me realize that there's a lot more to life than simply being a blonde beauty...I could become a character actress like Bette Davis did, for starters! I may have given up my immortality, but it will still be quite a while before I go anywhere! I've got a good 84 years ahead with Bubble Bass, and I intend to make the most of them!" / Super Chum says: "It isn't always easy, but the mark of a true superhero, is that they don't DO good things in order to get THEMSELVES attention, they do good things because they're the RIGHT thing to do! I mean, if the so-called Bad Guys from the animated movie of the same name can have a redemption arc; who's to say it couldn't happen to just about anybody?!" / Kaput says: "Nobody's ever called ME out about not being GOOD at anything, not even at being good! But how does one BECOME, 'Good'? That's a concept I've NEVER fully considered! I never thought I'd say this, but, I think I might have to consult some serious help!" (End Confessional) Kaput says: "Say, Daggett? How in the world did YOU ever become good?!"

Daggett sputters, and he asks: "Are you NUTS?! That would imply that I was ever really BAD! So I got a little upset with Norbert and Daggett a couple of times during some Performance Reviews, so SUE me! I don't think that makes ME a BAD beaver! Why, when Norbert and Treeflower need SOMEONE to babysit their kids, they say I do a GREAT job of doing that! You want to ask someone on how to NOT be bad and be good, I suggest you ask Zarbon and Bulma! But ask them AFTER the Moat Challenge, so they're NOT distracted!" Kaput says: "Good call!" (Confessional) Daggett says: "I'm not saying that I've ALWAYS done the right thing! Do you know how GOOD you have to be to DO the right thing ALL the time?! You'd have to be like, the level of Mother Theresa Good in order to do that! But I'm certainly more moral than Zim and Kaput, that's for sure! And at the rate that THEY are acting, I'm sure to outlast THOSE two nutjobs!" / Kaput grabs out a notepad, and he writes on it, while saying: "Note to self; NEVER ask a deluded idiot for ADVICE! Ask someone with ACTUAL experience instead!" (End Confessional)

Otto asks: "Johnny, I've never PERSONALLY seen you in action. How good are you at sports?" Johnny says: "You've come to the right, prawn, my man! Tigress may have SHEER muscle! But I've got speed and coolness! With coolness on my side, I will NEVER lose!" Otto says: "You remind me a LOT of Twister that way!" Johnny says: "Funny, Tigress said the same thing, before she became UNCOOL!" And Tigress just growls angrily! (Confessional) Tigress says: "Regardless of anything else that happens, I might just HAVE to eliminate Johnny Krill PURELY on principle!" / Otto says: "I sure hope Johnny can back up his words with some actions! I'll NEED it for our team to dominate THIS challenge!" / Johnny says: "I know getting Tigress riled up probably isn't the WISEST move in the world! But after ALL the belittling and bereavement she put ME through during Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, that girl DESERVES it!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "It's time for our contestants to begin their journey across the moat!" Otto, Marlene, Sway-Sway, and Aang are all in their canoes, holding onto their oar with one hand, and holding the lantern on the suspended rope pulley system with another! Sniz says: "On your marks, get set, GO!" And Aang, and Otto, shoot off like a rocket, quickly powering their way across the moat with sheer speed, while Marlene and Sway-Sway have to STRUGGLE to catch up, as Aang and Otto are already sending their lanterns back across to their team-mates! Marlene and Sway-Sway finally make it across, and begin to send their lanterns back, but it's practically in vain, as Kaput and Johnny Krill BOTH make it across the Moat with their lanterns, before Stimpy and Buhdeuce can even get in the water! Sniz says: "And the first part of the contest is over! Since the Red Jaguars and Silver Snakes finished first, they will be teamed up together for THIS challenge!" Johnny Krill says: "So THAT'S how it's going to work? Very good to know!" Sniz says: "Green Monkeys and Blue Barracudas, YOU will be paired up together for this challenge by default!" Spongebob says: "Isn't that GREAT, Squidward, we get to work together for a CHALLENGE!!!!"

Squidward MERELY takes a lantern off of the pulley system, hands it to Bubble Bass, and Squidward says: "Do me a favor, and PLEASE hit me as hard as you can with this lantern!" Bubble Bass THROWS the lantern down and he says: "I am NOT going to do THAT! I don't know WHAT kind of problem you have with Spongebob Squarepants, but GET over it! If we're going to have ANY chance of WINNING this challenge, we will HAVE to get along together!" Squidward says: "How can I put this? I would rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass, than SPEND one more minute, with HIM! I'd rather get a 100,000 paper cuts on my face, than SPEND one more minute with HIM! I'd RATHER rip out my intestines with a fork, than hang out with THAT man! I'd rather slam my tentacles in a door, AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN! Can't you see what I'm TRYING to say Bubble Bass? I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches, shove an ice-pick under a toenail or TWO, I'd rather clean all the bathrooms at LAX with my TONGUE, than spend one more minute with him! I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumb-tacks, or stick my nostrils together with Krazy Glue! I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades, than spend one more minute with him! I'd rather rip my heart out of my rib cage with my bare tentacles, and than throw it on the floor and stomp on it UNTIL I die...than spend one more minute with HIM!!!!" Spongebob asks: "You DON'T want to spend time with me?!" Squidward sputters, and he says: "Of COURSE I don't want to spend TIME with you! What do you THINK I had JUST been quoting Weird Al Yankovic's 'One More Minute' for?!" Spongebob sniffles, and he cries: "WAAH!!!!" Bubble Bass yells: "STOP DOING THAT!!!!" Squidward says: "Like YOU'RE so much better! You once gave Spongebob a Heroic BSOD when you made him think that he DIDN'T include the pickles that one time!" Bubble Bass says: "First off, I only DID that because the writers DEMANDED it! Second, I couldn't have anticipated Spongebob would GO into a Heroic BSOD! At least I never hurt his feelings like THAT again!"

Squidward says: "I'll be SO glad when WE lose; that way, I can FINALLY vote off Spongebob and END this misery!" Bubble Bass asks: "Oh, is THAT so?!" Squidward says: "Yes, that's SO!" Bubble Bass gets a devious smile, and he says: "Have it YOUR way, Squidward, but just REMEMBER, I HAVE bubble powers, I can USE them any time I WANT, and even if THAT weren't a factor, I DID win Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, and if you DON'T straighten up your act and at LEAST be civil to Spongebob, I can tell EVERYONE to vote YOU off instead; and Spongebob will spend the rest of his life HATING you, thereby depriving you of the ONLY guy in the ENTIRE ocean, who STILL has a SMIDGE of RESPECT for you!" Squidward asks: "You'd STOP respecting me?!" Bubble Bass says: "You're already half-way there in MY books!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "Let's see; PROS to keeping Spongebob on, Bubble Bass won't tell anyone to vote me off...and...that's ALL I can think of! CONS to keeping Spongebob on, he ANNOYS me, he IRRITATES me, he won't take a HINT, and he makes me SO distracted from making an artistic and/or musical masterpiece, that I can't see straight! Can I take a third option?!" / Bubble Bass says: "If Squidward were REALLY capable of creating SUCH a great artistic and/or musical piece, he would've DONE it by now, Spongebob or NO Spongebob! At this point, I don't think he REALLY wants to create such a great work; he just wants to use Spongebob as a scapegoat for all the failures and shortcomings in Squidward's OWN life, that are mostly his OWN fault! I just hope my threat, puts Squidward in his place! Because if it doesn't, we'll HAVE to vote him off! Newcomer, or NO newcomer!" (End Confessional) / (Commercial Break) / The commercials end, and the teams are now at the steps of knowledge! Kaput goes up to Bulma, and he says: "Bulma; I know we haven't exactly seen eye to eye in the past, mostly because you're a LOT taller than I am; but I have to wonder, how on EARTH did you stop being so bad and turn good?! That doesn't make SENSE to me!"

Bulma says: "Well, if you must know, yes; I will admit that I wasn't always a paragon of purity and niceness. I used to be selfish, vain, self-centered, and MORE egotistical than I am now. Having my plans unravel, being forced to eliminate myself, and having to go through that PAINFUL Humiliation Conga Line, that you and all those other season three contestants did, made me realize that if THAT'S the price you have to pay, to try to get something WITHOUT actually earning it, than it's NOT worth it! And I have to live with knowing that along with everybody else! That Clean Slate only worked once!" Kaput says: "As much as I want to understand good, I do NOT want to go through a Humiliation Conga! Isn't there another way?" Zarbon says: "Well, you could do what I did. You should learn by doing! After finding out about Freeza's demise, I realized that I was no longer bound to be evil the way he intended, so I used my skills to try to do good instead. Granted, I didn't always use it in the way that I should have, but you HAVE to start with good intentions! I try to be an inspiration to others! If I can be an inspiration to you, that could make ALL the difference in the world!" Kaput says: "The world, huh? I think I'm starting to get an idea!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "Do I think Kaput is being on the level with us? Not entirely! But as I have personally learned, stranger things have happened! But I'll wait and see for myself just what EXACTLY that little alien has in mind!" / Zarbon says: "I had to go through some painful experiences to find out, that there's a difference between doing the right thing, and doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. I tried doing what BULMA told me the right thing would be, and it ended up ONLY being right for her! I don't want anyone else having to go through what I did! And if it makes Kaput have a better personality, I think that would benefit all of us!" (End Confessional) Heffer says: "Hey! We're FINALLY getting some focus in this episode! Why did it take so long?" Monster says: "Well, there ARE still 42 contestants. Of COURSE it's going to be hard to try to focus on every single one!" Judy says: "You DO realize, that if you WANT to have focus, you have to BE the focus! You have to BE dramatic! Be DARING! Show your soul to EVERYONE in the audience! By showing the TRUTH, you will make the audience fall in love with you! It is the secret, to MY dramatic success!"

(Confessional) Heffer says: "And I thought I did some crazy things on my show! But the way she talks is even CRAZIER than those things! Of course, she DOES kind of have a point!" / Monster says: "Judy has pointed out one important thing our show lacked; variety. We only HAD robots and monsters, and ONE half-monster/half-robot Santa Clause substitute! It's kind of not surprising our show didn't last longer! Perhaps by learning how to have more variety, may convince the studio to give our show another shot! I mean, I can't depend on starring roles on THIS show forever!" / Judy says: "Even though this show wasn't exactly MADE for my acting talents, I still intend giving this show EVERYTHING that I've got! After all, if you don't PLAY with everything you've got, you might as well NOT be playing!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, contestants! It's time to reveal our randomly selected contestants for the Steps of Knowledge! Daggett, you and Haggis will be playing for the Silver Snakes! Treeflower, you and Spongebob will be playing for the Green Monkeys!" Treeflower asks: "Spongebob, you think you'll be helpful with this?" Spongebob says: "Of course! I saw every single episode of the original Legends of The Hidden Temple at least once while growing up! I know how to handle myself!" Treeflower says: "Thank you! I feel SO much better!"

(Confessional) Treeflower says: "I HAD to ask, okay?! If I'm going to play with someone, I want to know if they are on the same page as I am! And yes, I had some doubts about Spongebob, but it looks like he IS playing with a full deck! And if Squidward has any BRAINS, he WON'T try to mess us BOTH up just to try and prove some STUPID point!" / Spongebob says: "I always WANTED to compete on the original Legends of the Hidden Temple! Unfortunately, I was only nine, and I needed to be at least 12. While I'm considerably older now, I'm hoping that the extra time I've been given to prepare will be worth it! And even if Squidward isn't impressed by it, I hope Sandy will be! The main reason I'm doing this, is to impress OUR kids!" / Sandy says: "The biggest reason why I married Spongebob, is BECAUSE he's not a stuck-up, pretentious SNOT like Squidward is! And, he's not intimidated by MY intelligence and strength, like a lot of OTHER guys in my life were!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Gerald, you and Heffer will be playing for the Red Jaguars!" Gerald says: "Cool!" And Squidward and Yakety Yak, you will be playing for the Blue Barracudas, let's see if you're on the same level as the REST of the Legends!" Yakety says: "I know that I'm ready for this! I can't say the same for SQUIDWARD though!" Squidward sputters, and he says: "What?! You think that I can't take this seriously?!" Yakety says: "I haven't seen any evidence so FAR!" Squidward asks: "Not even when I was referencing Weird Al Yankovic's 'One More Minute'? I'll PROVE it to you!" Squidward grabs a piece of paper, and Squidward says: "Look! 100,000 paper cuts on my FACE!!!!" And he rapidly swipes himself! Darwin says: "1, 10, 50, 100, 10,000, WOAH! 100,000 in 30 seconds! I haven't seen swiping THAT fast since the last time Swiper the Fox swiped something from Dora!" Squidward goes to the nearest door, and he says: "Look! I'm slamming my tentacles in a door AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!"

Larry shouts: "There ARE easier WAYS to deal with ANGER, frustration, and DENIAL, Squidward!" (Confessional) Larry says: "While everyone has different ways to let off excess anger in a healthy, constructive way; the way I do it is by exercising. If something bothers me, I work my aggression off by working out! That way, it makes my body more fit, and I don't hurt anybody!" (End Confessional) Squidward says: "Look! I'm having my blood sucked out by leeches!" Dog asks: "WAIT! Where did he get those?!" And everyone looks at Kaput! Kaput asks: "WHAT?! He asks if I smuggled some from the Congo! I told him I did, and he wanted them to PROVE a point!" (Confessional) Dog says: "Kaput, if this is you TRYING to be good, you're NOT doing a good job at it!" / Kaput face-palms himself, and he says: "Well, that's just GREAT! How was I supposed to know that Squidward was being OVERLY dramatic?! I'm not a mind-reader, you know! Besides, he'll probably have a cute new nickname; Leech Guy! So what are THEY complaining about?!" (End Confessional) Squidward THROWS a bunch of Double-Edged Razor Blades into the Moat, and he says: "I'm going to dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades!" Sway-Sway says: "STOP HIM!!!!" And he, Harvey, Gonard, Dudley, Zarbon, Chameleon, Fee, Bubble Bass, and Yakety Yak, quickly rush to STOP Squidward from jumping in! Squidward says: "NO!!!! Let me GO!!!! Let me GO!!!!" Gonard yells: "No! Shut up!" The rest of them say: "Shut up!" Dudley says: "You're making a GREAT big deal out of NOTHING!!!! Look, Sandy is Spongebob's HUSBAND, Pearl is Spongebob's friend, Larry is Spongebob's friend, I'm Spongebob's friend, Johnny Krill is Spongebob's friend, even Bubble Bass can socialize with Spongebob! Why can't YOU socialize with Spongebob?!" Squidward is still struggling, and he says: "Because...BECAUSE...!"

Fee bluntly says: "Because he doesn't want to disappoint his FATHER!" Harvey says: "Fee, what are you saying?" Fee says: "Come on! I can TOTALLY see it! If Squidward isn't ACTING this way because of SOMETHING Spongebob actually did to him, it HAS to come from the way Squidward was raised! And where DO you get ideas like, you can't LIKE a certain group of people, be friends with them, or socialize with them because it will SOMEHOW cause YOU to be dragged down to THEIR level; when in reality, the experience would ONLY make them a better, smarter person?! Or octopus, as the case may be? It's because he learned it from HIS father! Beyond that, I don't know! But Squidward, if you think that if you JUST hate Spongebob enough, do everything in your power to minimize your interaction time with him, and anything else like that, is SOMEHOW going to MAGICALLY make your father come back to life and give you the love he NEVER gave to you while he was alive? Well, it WON'T! Your father is DEAD, Squidward, and he's NEVER coming back! And no matter what you think about Spongebob, you need to STOP blaming everyone else for shortcomings that YOU caused yourself, and take responsibility for your own actions!" Chameleon says: "Wow! That is SO profound!" Fee says: "My mom's making me watch a lot of education videos to catch up to my education level. I needed to learn SOMETHING by watching them!"

(Confessional) Squidward says: "Is what Fee said true? Have I REALLY been hating Spongebob all this time, NOT because I actually hated him, but because of the way my father raised me?" Squidward strains, but nothing comes to him! Squidward says: "Why can't I remember?! Did he do something wrong and I blacked it out of my memory? I heard of such traumatic things happening, but I never thought it could've occurred to me. When this challenge is over, I REALLY need to talk with a professional like Bulma, in order to straighten things out!" / Fee says: "If it wasn't so sad and tragic, it WOULD be kind of funny that a little kid, of EVERYONE, would BE the one who could identify Squidward's problem! I'm not SAYING I'm proud of myself by doing it so that EVERYONE could hear, but I couldn't allow him to be a liability to the rest of the team anymore! If anything, I was doing him a FAVOR in the long run!" / Harvey says: "I always KNEW Fee was smarter than what Dade and Princess claimed! Now I have the ultimate proof of that!" / Chameleon says: "I sure wish that when I was Fee's age, I had been that smart! I might have never taken up being a villain in the FIRST place!" (End Confessional) Sniz looks at his watch, and he says: "Woah! Thanks to Squidward's little publicity stunt, we now don't have enough time to do the Steps of Knowledge this time, so I'll split the difference and give every team a chance to win a Pendant of Life!" Jenny says: "We're using the Pendant of Life again?!" Sniz says: "You are correct, Jenny! And this time, the way they work is a little different! In the proper Temple itself, the regular Pendant's of Life will be used to ward off Temple Guards, sort of as an extra life! In Elimination Ceremonies, you'll need a DIFFERENT Pendant Of Life!" Sandy asks: "Different, how?"

Sniz says: "This season, each team will be able to collect ONE color-coordinated Pendant of Life per team! Normally, you'd have to find them within the challenge itself, or win it by going down the Steps of Knowledge! Also, if you find a Pendant Of Life that DOESN'T belong to your team, you cannot destroy it, or YOU will receive Penalty Votes if you do, for the REST of the Game! You must give that Pendant to ONE member of that team! Of course, you're free to choose who you give it to! To DETERMINE who gets the Pendant Of Life this time, we'll simply use a tie-breaker question! One member of each team, will have a chance to answer a question, regarding to the legend itself! Of course, you didn't get a chance to hear it, so that makes it a little more challenging! Olmec, where can the Lost Manuscript be found?" Olmec says: "The Lost Manuscript of Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, can be found in the Tomb of The Pharaoh's!" Sniz says: "All right! With that in mind, who wants to be the representative for each team?" Tigress' eyes light up with an idea, and she says: "Oh, I'll volunteer!" Haggis asks: "Seriously?" But before she can take a single step down the Steps of Knowledge, Tigress TRIPS and in slow-motion says: "OOPS!!!!" And as she's flailing in slow-motion, one of her paws ACCIDENTALLY hits Po square in the face! The camera speed returns to normal, as Tigress lands (on her feet), and she angrily says: "You hit Po!" Inside of her mind, Master Coelaceanth protests: "But that was a--!" Tigress yells: "YOU HIT PO!!!!" And lightning seems to ERUPT out of Tigress' body! Po says: "I forgot how STRONG she can punch! What is going ON here?!" Bubble Bass IMMEDIATELY puts two and two together, and he says: "I know what is, and you're NOT going to LIKE it!" Tigress screams: "Get out of my HEAD!!!!" And as Tigress screams, a ghostly ectoplasm ERUPTS out of Tigress' mouth, and ends up LANDING right into Aang's mouth! Po rushes to her side, and Po asks: "Tigress, are you all right?" Tigress coughs, and she says: "I'm fine now, but I don't think that AANG is!" Super Chum asks: "Why would that be?"

Bubble Bass says: "Because what escaped out of Tigress' mouth, WAS Master Coelaceanth's soul!" And Aang's clothes transform, into the EXACT garb worn by Master Coealaceanth! In Master Coelaceanth's voice, Aang says: "BLAST you, Tigress! How DARE you trip and hit Po on the way down?!" Tigress asks: "Did you REALLY think I was going to let YOU make ME the villain of this season?! Anti-Cosmo tried that once, and spoiler alert, it DIDN'T work! Of COURSE I was going to try to get rid of you the FIRST chance I got!" Aang growls angrily, and Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "Deviously clever, even by feline standards; but you made a BIG mistake, in letting AANG absorb me!" Stimpy says: "How do you figure that? He has already SURVIVED having Mesogog hijack his body, he can survive YOUR attempt, to!" Aang chuckles, and Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "Ordinarily, I'd be inclined to agree. But this time, he has an actual REASON to WANT me in his body; he wants to get REVENGE against Tigress, just as much as I do, and it's all thanks to Tigress' UTTER arrogance, that has provided FUEL for his FIRE!" Tigess says: "Po, go ahead and say, 'I told you so'!" Po says: "Totally NOT the time or place!" Bubble Bass smugly asks: "Aren't YOU forgetting one important thing?" Yakety asks: "What would THAT be?!" Bubble Bass says: "The RULES for this season! The rules SPECIFICALLY state that you CAN'T kill another contestant while on this show, no matter WHO you are! Even EVIL contestants have to follow THAT rule!" Spongebob says: "Bubble Bass, you've officially gone from a 2 to a 9 on my Respect-O-Meter!" Aang pauses to think, and Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "Very well! I'll BIDE my time! And as for you my FINE lady; true, I can't attend to you NOW, as I'd like; but just TRY to stay out of my way! Just TRY! I'll get you, my pretty! And those mangy DOGS, to! Later, losers!" And Master Coelaceanth's garb disappears from Aang's body! Zim rushes to Aang, and Zim asks: "Aang, are you all right?!"

Aang, in his own voice, creepily says: "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again! If you need help, hang up, and dial your operator!" Zim says: "So, I'd take that as a no." Haggis says: "That may be Aang's body, but it looks like it's Master Coelaceanth's mind, now!" (Confessional) Haggis says: "Did I really come BACK for another season, just so I could deal with a mind-controlled Aang AGAIN?! Granted, it's not the same guy doing it, but STILL!" / Tigress says: "Of COURSE I didn't want to personally punch Po, but I had no other option! After all, the deal was, that WE could never hurt Po! If I let Master Coelaceanth have total control, he NEVER would've let me pull even THAT trip off! Of course, it's not exactly like I made the situation TOTALLY better! Now Master Coelaceanth is in AANG'S body! And Aang is totally MAD at me, and RIGHTFULLY so! Well, I don't care WHAT it takes! I'll rid Aang of Master Coelaceanth's influence, and apologize to Aang, even if it's the LAST thing my FIRST of Nine lives gets to do!" / Yakety says: "Suddenly, I'm glad we have at least SOMEONE on our team who read the entire contract! Thank you, Bubble Bass!" / Bubble Bass says: "Master Coelaceanth is FAR more resilient than I ever could have dreamed! He was killed, yet still came back as Springtrap! He was short-circuited, but he still came back as a zombie! He was deep-fried and eaten, and his soul STILL survives! Ooh, I wish we had Danny Fenton here; he'd know how to deal with a spectral threat! But we're still find a way to get rid of Master Coelaceanth, once and for all!" / Spongebob says: "Now I KNOW that Bubble Bass truly likes me as a friend; he went out of his way to bring up that rule, in order to save my life! From now, I'm going to let him eat his Krusty Krab food the way he wants to, and I won't get in the way of his enjoyment of that food again!" / Aang, in his own voice, says: "While I'm ANGRY that I have to share my body with someone else AGAIN, at least it makes me considerably stronger than I was before! After all, I will NEED such strength if I am to teach Tigress HER place in the world!" / Sniz says: "The views expressed by our contestants and/or maniacal fish psychopaths, do not reflect the views of this host or it's parent corporation!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Look, can we quit messing around and get ON with the tie-breaker question?!" Everyone else says: "Yes, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Okay, besides Tigress, who else will volunteer for the Tie-Breaker question?" Keswick says: "I volunteer for the Green Monkeys!" Kitty says: "I volunteer for the Silver Snakes!" Squidward says: "And I volunteer for the Blue Barracudas!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I HAD to volunteer! HELLO! Even with everything that's going around, my team, and the Green Monkeys, aren't likely to forget the way that I'VE been acting, and they'll vote me off if we lose! I HAD to volunteer; it's my only chance of being able to protect myself in case we lose!" (End Confessional) The four contestants come to the Tie-Breaker Pedestal, and Sniz says: "Okay, for a Team Pendant Of Life, here is the Tie-Breaker question; When was Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde first published, and who wrote it?" Tigress buzzes in first, and she says: "1886, written by Robert Louis Stevenson!" Sniz says: "That is correct! You've won an Immunity Pendant of Life! Just remember; this time around, if you use a Pendant of Life in an Elimination Ceremony, you won't be able to find another one, until AFTER another challenge is completed, so choose the times you use them wisely!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Regardless of what Sniz says, I HAD to get the Immunity Pendant Of Life! Since our team has to work with the Silver Snakes, than we win or lose together! However, now that I HAVE this, I don't have to win! And while I do like winning, I do need Aang gone MORE! And if he's NOT a contestant, he's FAIR game!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "All right! It's time to reveal what the challenge will be! In the actual novella of Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Dr. Jekyll made a strange concoction, to turn himself into Mr. Hyde, and live out his darkest urges! In this challenge, all the contestants on both sets of teams, will have to work as a relay station, to get the concoction from the starting line, into the large glass beaker at the finish line! The first two teams to make their concoction go OVER the line indicated on the large glass beaker, will win immunity, and get a chance to go into the Temple! Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars, since you have one more contestant than the other teams, you'll both have to sit someone out!" Tigress says: "Oh, I don't mind setting THIS one out!" Aang screams: "WHAT?!!!" Tigress says: "You heard me! Let's see how far YOU get WITHOUT my help!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Nobody invades MY mind and gets away with it, especially NOT Master Coelaceanth!" / Aang fumes, and in his own voice, says: "Just you wait! YOU are going to PAY!!!!" (End Confessional) The Green Monkeys consult with each other, and Dog says: "I better sit this one out, I don't want to accidentally get thirsty and drink some of the concoction." Sniz says: "Very well! Teams, we're putting three minutes on the clock! We hope that's enough! On your marks, get set, GO!" /

During the montage, Tigress is laughing and enjoying herself, watching Aang and the rest of the Red Jaguars and the Silver Snakes STRUGGLE without her help, while the Green Monkeys and the Blue Barracudas put aside their differences to work on the challenge, while Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want To Have Fun", plays over the montage. Cyndi sings: "I come home in the morning light. My mother says, 'When you gonna live your life right?' Oh, mamma, dear, we're not the fortunate ones. And girls—they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have fun. The phone rings in the middle of the night. My father yells, 'What you gonna do with your life?' Oh, daddy, dear, you know you're still number one. But girls—they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have. That's all they really want. Some fun! When the working day is done; oh, girls—they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have fun! Girls—they wanna; wanna have fun! Girls wanna have! (Musical Break) Some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world. I wanna be the one to walk in the sun! Oh girls, they wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have; that's all they really want! Some fun! When the working day is done; oh, girls—they wanna have fun! Oh girls just wanna have fun! Girls—they wanna; wanna have fun! Girls wanna have! They just wanna, they just wanna! Girls just wanna! Girls just wanna have fun! They just wanna! Girls just wanna have fun! Just wanna; just wanna! They just wanna; they just wanna! When the working day is done! Oh, Girls! Girls just wanna fun!" And the song and montage ends as the Green Monkeys and Blue Barracudas manage to fill their giant glass beaker first! Sniz says: "And it's over! It's all over! The Green Monkeys and the Blue Barracudas both win immunity! Red Jaguars and Silver Snakes, I'll deal with you later! Now, you need to choose who you are going to send into the Temple!" Squidward says: "Bubble Bass, I HAVE been acting irrationally about Spongebob." Bubble Bass says: "Well, that's good. Admitting you HAVE a problem is the first step to recovery." Squidward says: "I know, it's just, I'm not sure if I'm quite ready yet to work with Spongebob. I need to find out what my problem is. Bubble Bass, will you go into the Temple, first?"

Bubble Bass rolls his eyes, but says: "Fine! With my luck, I'll probably get captured soon anyways!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Well, it finally happened. It took longer than I expected, but it happened. Squidward admitted he had a problem. Now, I'll wait to see if he can follow through." / Squidward says: "I'm not saying that I WILL become friends with Spongebob, I just want to be able to interact with him in a way that isn't irrational! Besides, it will make life around him a lot easier!" (End Confessional) Spongebob says: "I volunteer for the Green Monkeys!" Bubble Bass asks: "Are you sure?" Spongebob says: "Bubble Bass, you protected me from Master Coelaceanth's wrath! If the Temple Guards catch you, competing to find the Lost Manuscript is the least I can do for you! Do you trust me?!" Bubble Bass says: "Somehow, I do." (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "After everything Spongebob has been through, I honestly think he just MIGHT be able to get that Lost Manuscript!" / Spongebob says: "In the previous seasons, I would've been content to let someone else shine. But, with Master Coelaceanth back in the action, I have to show him, that I'm NOT going to be afraid of him! I mean, I'm a LITTLE afraid of him; who wouldn't be?! But true courage isn't about NOT being afraid; it's about DOING the thing that scares you in SPITE of the fact that you are afraid, and that's what true bravery is! I HAVE to do this! If not for my own sake, than for Sandy's!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Very well, than! Olmec, tell us about the Temple!" Olmec says: "First, go into the Mummy's Crypt, pull on the correct book, but beware of the Temple Guard! Next, go onto the ledge, knock down the pedestal, and climb into the Observatory! There, spin the sundial, than go down into Medusa's Lair. Fit the snakes into her hair, than go into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. Place the Monkey together, than go into the next room and go down the Devil's Slide! Once down in the Basement, knock down the wall, and go into the Tomb of the Pharaoh's, where you can grab the Lost Manuscript! Than, go through the Room of Enlightment, crawl back through the pit, make your way through the Ledges, than back to the Temple Entrance! If you succeed, you will be rewarded with an Immunity Pendant of Life of your choice!" Sniz says: "Thank you, Olmec! All right, Bubble Bass! You won in the last half-season, let's see if you can put your skills to good use here! Let's put three minutes on the clock! On your mark, get set, GO!!!!" Sniz narrates the action as Bubble Bass goes along! Sniz says: "Bubble Bass is in the Mummy's Crypt, and a Temple Guard, right off the bat! He hands over the Pendant of Life, and tries to find the right book! He finds it! He's on the ledge and he's...belching loudly, and the pedestal falls down! Unconventional, but we'll allow it! He's up in the Observatory, he's spinning the sundial, he's going down into Medusa's Lair...and another Temple Guard! Go Spongebob, go! Spongebob's making his way through the Crypt, across the Ledge, into the Observatory, and down into Medusa's Lair, and he's trying to find the right snakes to put into her hair. He's found them! He's in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey, and another Temple Guard! He hands over his Pendant of Life! Spongebob is putting down the base, and the chest, and the Head! The door's open! He's heading down the Devil's Slide, and he's bracing himself, and he knocks down the wall! He's in the Tomb of the Pharaoh's! He's got the Lost Manuscript! All the doors are open! He's going through the Room of Enlightment! Through the Pit, and now he's going through the Ledges! He's out! With 44 seconds to spare! You get an Immunity Pendant Of Life of your choice!"

Spongebob thinks about it, and he says: "I choose...to let Squidward have the Blue Barracuda's Pendant of Life!" Squidward's eyes well up, and he says: "You're giving an Immunity Pendant of Life, to me? Even after everything I said to you?" Spongebob says: "I don't know what you've been through, but I DO know that deep down, there's good in you! And I want you to have the chance to prove yourself! And honestly? I think you're going to need that Pendant Of Life more than I'll need one for me." Squidward says: "Spongebob, I promise you, your sacrifice will NOT be in vain! Whatever it takes, I will AVENGE you!" Spongebob asks: "What are you talking about?" Bubble Bass says: "Squidward KIND of has a point! You just LITERALLY made what could be the STUPIDEST move in the HISTORY of this show! You gave away the chance to get a Pendant of Life for yourself! Do you HONESTLY think you can find one during the NEXT challenge?" Spongebob says: "That's a chance I'm willing to take! I truly believe that if you give out good karma, you will GET good karma in return!" Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "For your sake, I hope you're right!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I'm not saying I'm going to vote off Spongebob, I probably won't. But even if I don't, that won't stop everyone else from doing so! He's the most popular character on this show! Of COURSE they'll vote him off the first chance they get! I just hope I truly CAN avenge him! I owe at least THAT much to him!" / Bubble Bass says: "The next challenge will TRULY be a test of Spongebob's resolve! I certainly hope he wins the next challenge or FINDS an Immunity Pendant, because if he doesn't, I'm not sure if Spongebob's heart can take it!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Red Jaguars, looks like Tigress benching herself didn't really help you. That being said, she DOES have an Immunity Pendant, and she might just use it! And Silver Snakes, your inability to work together has doomed your efforts yet again! BOTH of you will be eliminating one contestant on your team, when I see BOTH of your teams, at the Elimination Ceremony tonight!" And Aang has a devious look in his eyes!

(Confessional) Aang jerks, and gains Master Coelaceanth's garb again! Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "It's about time! It was getting HOT in there! How very like Tigress! She thinks she can take the QUICK path to get rid of me! It might have worked once, but it's NOT going to work again! I might not be able to eliminate Tigress THIS time, but I can FORCE her to use that Pendant of Life! She won't be able to get one AGAIN for another two challenges!" / Bulma says: "There's no doubt in my mind that Tigress, and Aang/Master Coelaceanth will try to target each other, and since NOBODY else wants Aang to stick around, I'm sure most of the other contestants will try to vote him off to! However, I SAW the devious look in Aang's eyes! Something is off! I'm telling Sandy to vote someone inconsequential like Kaput and Johnny Krill, and we'll let the others take the FALL for the aftermath of the Eliminations!" (End Confessional) The Red Jaguars and the Silver Snakes are at the Elimination Ceremony! Sniz says: "Red Jaguars, welcome to your first time here! I'm honestly a little surprised! Silver Snakes, not so much! I thought you would have learned your lesson from the LAST time!" Taotie says: "That's what I thought, but apparently, no one ever LISTENS to me!" Sniz says: "In any case, you will take the voting devices, make your selections than insert a Miniature Pendant Of Life into the Coin Slot! Once the Votes are tallied, but before I reveal the safe contestants, whoever has an Immunity Pendant of Life, must present it in order to receive immunity from any votes! Otherwise, whichever two contestants have the most votes, must board the Mine Cart of Shame, and go through the Mine Shaft of Losers! That means that you're out of the contest, and you can never come back again, EVER! With that being said, VOTE!!!!" And the contestants make quick work on who they want to vote off!

Sniz says: "Voting over, so it's time to..." Aang says: "Not so fast! I HAVE the Silver Snakes Immunity Pendant, and I WILL be playing it on MYSELF!!!!" Haggis screams: "Oh, NO!!!!" Sniz says: "The Pendant of Life is real, so all votes cast for Aang will not count! Now..." Tigress says: "Hold it! Aang isn't the ONLY one who had a Pendant of Life! I'm playing mine on myself!" Sandy says: "It's a good thing cats have nine lives! Tigress might need all the chances she can get!" Sniz says: "This Pendant of Life is also real, that means all votes cast for Tigress, will not count! Now, it's time to reveal the safe contestants who will receive Chocolate Pendants of Life! Obviously, Aang. Daggett, Otto, Sandy, Judy, Gerald, Haggis, Pearl, Zim, Larry, Kitty, Snaptrap, Heffer, Buhdeuce, Blonda, Taotie. Obviously, Tigress. Jenny!" Bulma, Kaput, and Johnny Krill, all tense up, as they are the only three left! Sniz says: "Contestants, this is the FINAL Pendant Of Life this evening!" Kaput looks angrily at everyone, Johnny is relaxed, as if convinced that he WON'T be leaving, while Bulma just sweats profusely! Sniz says: "And the Pendant goes to, BULMA!!!!" Bulma jumps up and says: "YES!!!!" And she hugs the contestant closest to her, only to realize that it's Johnny Krill! Bulma says: "Oops! I am SO sorry, Johnny!" Sandy says: "I'm sorry to. I didn't want to eliminate you, not like this! I wanted to actually compete against you!" Johnny says: "I'm not upset! It's actually quite impressive! I mean, it took TWO whole Pendants of Life JUST to eliminate me! How many other contestants can say that, BESIDES Kaput?!" Kaput says: "I don't understand! I thought I was doing good!" Kitty says: "Well, that may be, but you've got a LONG way to go, before you actually get there! Get some experience in the real world, before you make another commitment like that!" Sniz says: "The teams have spoken, and your bags are packed!" Sniz gives Kaput a helmet, since Johnny Krill is already wearing one! And they get in the Mine Cart, and buckle their seat belts!

Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "3, 2, 1, BLAST-OFF!!!!" And the Mine Cart blasts down the rail track, and through the mysterious Mine Shaft Portal! Sniz says: "And just like that, two more contestants are gone! Things are sure to get more intense, now that Master Coelaceanth is inhabiting Aang's body! Everyone will have to be on their guard! And while I legally can't endorse the elimination of a contestant, I can certainly hope and be excited for a potential one! In any case, see which teams will prevail, on the next exciting episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "Thank you for being a part of this exciting adventure!" / Stinger: Kaput and Johnny Krill blast through the portal, and the other end of the portal, dumps them out RIGHT into the middle of the skate park at Ocean Shores, California! Twister says: "What the?! Where did YOU two come from?!" Johnny says: "Would you believe that we came from Total Cartoon Legends?" Reggie says: "I would. They actually wanted ME on there; and Otto only got to come, because I said; 'No, I already WON a season, there's no where to go but down'." Twister says: "Well, while we wait for Otto, we're practicing mad skills on these half-pipes and stuff! Would you like to practice with us?" Kaput asks: "Would we be doing good?" Reggie says: "With my help, you can be some of the BEST, good athletes, that Ocean Shores has ever seen!" Kaput says: "In that case, hand me a skateboard, and I'll become one of the best!" Johnny says: "You're already half-way there, in my books!" /

Episode Notes: It is revealed that Master Coelaceanth's soul is STILL alive! Initially in Tigress' body, it is now currently in Aang's body. Squidward FINALLY realizes that his Irrational hatred of Spongebob, may stem from how his father raised him. Immunity Pendants of Life introduced, and Aang and Tigress both play one. Featured songs in this episode, The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes", and Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want To Have Fun". Kaput and Johnny Krill become the FIRST two contestants that needed TWO Pendants Of Life played in order to be eliminated! Eliminated Contestants: 44. Kowalski. 43. Private. 42. Kaput. 41. Johnny Krill. Remaining Contestants: Aang, Silver Snakes. Daggett Beaver, Silver Snakes. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Judy Funny, Red Jaguars. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Haggis McHaggis, Silver Snakes. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Darwin, Green Monkeys. Invader Zim, Silver Snakes. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Green Monkeys. Kitty Katswell, Silver Snakes. Verminious J. Snaptrap, Silver Snakes. Sway-Sway, Blue Barracudas. Harvey Beaks, Blue Barracudas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Heffer Wolfe, Red Jaguars. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Monster Krumholtz, Green Monkeys. Blonda, Silver Snakes. Taotie, Silver Snakes. Tigress, Red Jaguars. Gonard, Blue Barracudas. Po, Green Monkeys. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Blue Barracudas. Zarbon, Blue Barracudas. Bulma Briefs, Silver Snakes. Chameleon, Blue Barracudas. Fee, Blue Barracudas. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Blue Barracudas. Yakety Yak, Blue Barracudas. Squidward Tentacles, Blue Barracudas. /

Personal Notes: I'll admit, I WAS a little tempted to make Tigress go through a similar scenario of what Mike went through in "Total Drama All-Stars", but after reviewing the mess THAT season was, I was like, "No, no, I can't do THAT again." So, I decided to shake up the formula, by having Tigress find a way to get rid of Master Coelaceanth early, only to wind up with ANOTHER problem; mainly that Master Coelaceanth is now inhabiting Aang's body! And while this is a deviation, I highly consider ANY deviation from "Total Drama All-Stars" a good thing! The less I can copy that season, the better! As for Johnny Krill and Kaput, while they definitely both have good strengths as far as contestants go, I needed two unexpected contestants to unexpectedly be eliminated, due to Tigress and Aang trying to fire against each other, and Johnny Krill and Kaput just happened to be the contestants who got caught in the cross-fire! So, needless to say, it's anyone's guess as to who will be eliminated next! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

I need to re-run the last couple of episodes, due to the fact that the most recent one will lose it's date relevance if I don't. Anyways, here's the first one for your reading pleasure. Enjoy! / Sniz is in the Tomb of The Pharaohs, and says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Legends", there were 42 contestants left, battling it out, for the hopes of getting the grand prize of $44.44 million! As it turns out, Master Coelaceanth's soul survived, and was stuck inside of Tigress! Not wanting to do the evil fish's evil bidding, Tigress utilized the first chance she got, to FORCE Master Coelaceanth out of her mind and body! Unfortunately, Master Coelaceanth's soul landed right inside of Aang! Kind of regretting making Aang mad NOW, aren't you Tigress? Fortunately, Bubble Bass quickly reminded Master Coelaceanth of the most important rule, that no contestant can kill another contestant! Pretty quick thinking, Bubble Bass! After that, Tigress won herself an Immunity Pendant Of Life, while the Green Monkeys and the Blue Barracudas won immunity! But Aang proved to be crafty! He found himself his OWN Immunity Pendant Of Life! And with Aang and Tigress both playing one, it ended up being both Kaput and Johnny Krill, who had to take a Mine Cart ride! Even though Master Coelaceanth is in Aang's body, Aang is STILL a contestant, and unless he breaks the rules or gets eliminated, we legally CAN'T force Aang out of the contest! But with a new challenge coming up, perhaps there is hope! We'll soon find out which two teams will prevail this time, and which two contestants will be eliminated!" Olmec says: "And if I had hands, I would use them to applaud you right now!" Sniz says: "Speaking of hands, be sure to put your hands together, for a brand new episode, of Total Cartoon Legends!" /

Instead of the normal show open, Spongebob, Sandy, and Larry, star in a shot for shot remake of the Thompson Twins music video "Hold Me Now", while singing that song! Spongebob sings: "I have a picture pinned to my wall. An image of you and of me and we're laughing and loving it all. But look at our life now. All tattered and torn. We fuss and we fight and delighting with tears as we cry until dawn. Oh, whoa! Hold me now, whoa! Warm my heart! Stay with me! Let loving start, Let loving start! You say I'm a dreamer. We're two of a kind. Both of us searching for some perfect world we know we'll never find. So perhaps I should leave here! Yeah, yeah, go far away! But you know that there's nowhere that I'd rather be than with you here today! Oh, whoa, oh, whoa! Hold me now, whoa! Warm my heart! Stay with me! Let loving start, Let loving start! Hold me now, whoa! Warm my heart! Stay with me! Let loving start, Let loving start, whoa! (Musical Break) You ask if I love you. Well, what can I say? You know that I do, and that this is just one of those games that we play. So I'll sing you a new song. Please don't cry any more! I'll even ask your forgiveness though I don't know just what I'm asking it for! Oh, whoa, oh, whoa! Hold me now! (Hold me in your loving arms). Warm my heart! (Warm my cold and tired heart)! Stay with me! (Oh, won't you stay with me)! Let loving start, Let loving start! Hold me now! (Hold me in your loving arms). Warm my heart! (Warm my cold and tired heart)! Stay with me! (Oh, won't you stay with me! Let loving start! Let loving start! Hold me now! (Hold me in your loving arms). Warm my heart! (Warm my cold and tired heart)! Stay with me! (Oh, won't you stay with me! Let loving start! Let loving start!" / And the Music Video and the song ends! /

"The Legend Of The Lost Arms Of Venus De Milo!" / Tigress and Po are together in the same room, Tigress says: "Po, I just want to make one thing clear to you; I would NEVER have devoured Master Coelaceanth, if I thought that maybe his soul would still survive! If I thought for one second that was actually going to happen, of COURSE I wouldn't have done it! And you KNOW I wouldn't have hurt you under normal circumstances, it was the only way that I could FORCE Master Coelaceanth out of my body! And yes, it was WRONG for me to antagonize Aang, especially now that Master Coelaceanth is inside of him! I did some LOUSY things! Now I need YOUR help to try to get Aang eliminated, so that we can handle him without suffering Penalty Votes! In short, I'd just like to say; help, I need somebody. Help, not just anybody. Help, you know I need someone. Help!" Po sighs, and says: "Tigress, we've been through a lot together, and I know that you've always wanted to be the Dragon Warrior. I think the reason Master Oogway didn't select you, was precisely BECAUSE you were NEVER the type to admit your mistakes or ask for help! But what you have JUST said...!...Well, that took a lot of courage! And the fact that you admitted your mistakes to me, in words that I NEVER thought you would say, indicates that you've finally lost some of your Kung Fu Arrogance! Of COURSE I'll do what I can to try to eliminate Aang! The safety of ALL the contestants, comes before trying to win some game show!" Tigress genuinely says: "Thank you, Po! I promise you, I will NOT forget this noble thing you're doing for me!"

(Confessional) Tigress says: "When I was younger, so much younger than today, I never needed anybody's help in any way. But now those days are gone, and I'm not so self-assured. Now I find, I've changed my mind, I've opened up the doors. Yes, that song may be 57 years old, but it still rings true. I thought I could handle anything that came my way myself. But when Master Coelaceanth tried to hijack my body, I almost LOST everything because of that! I can't afford to let that happen EVER again! Although, in some weird way, I do have to thank Master Coelaceanth. He made me truly realize, just what TRUE evil looks like, and if he didn't force me to confront my OWN insecurities, I never would've realized just why I WAS acting so arrogant! It's been so LONG since the last time I saw my Dad, I've been TRYING to forget all the times he...exceeded my OWN abilities! Thankfully, I realized that trying to beat Spongebob, is NOT the same as...winning over my father. It never could be, and I have to accept that. However, that doesn't mean that I can't use this experience to grow and become better from it, because I certainly CAN grown and become better! First thing's first; Aang gets eliminated, than we deal with Master Coelaceanth." / Po says: "When it comes to exceeded physical limits, Tigress could do that easily! But overcoming emotional insecurities? That's always been Tigress' hard point! And that breakthrough we just had, indicates that she's FINALLY outgrowing her old Arrogant behavior! Of couse, I was NEVER going to TELL her she was arrogant! She HAD to realize that for herself! And now that she has, now I KNOW that I can help her with ANYTHING she needs, because I know that she respects me!" (End Confessional)

Haggis has gathered the remaining Blue Barracudas and Silver Snakes together, minus Aang. Haggis asks: "Any new developments on Aang?" Daggett says: "Not a blasted word! He's locked himself up TIGHT in his trailer, and if he and/or Master Coelaceanth are having any ideas, they are keeping those ideas to themselves!" Kitty says: "Maybe it's better this way. After all, Aang can't POSSIBLY counter our ideas if he DOESN'T join in on our team meetings! We can use this to our advantage!" Zim says: "Reality check; Master Coelaceanth is inside of Aang! He is LARGE, and in CHARGE!" Blonda says: "Zim does have one point; as long as Master Coelaceanth is inside of Aang's body, there's no telling WHAT kind of terrible things he might try to do! Granted, he can't kill! But that STILL leave's a lot of room for other kinds of suffering that ISN'T killing!" Harvey Beaks says: "I'd hate to say it, but you Silver Snakes might have to THROW the challenge this time!" Snaptrap asks: "Are you crazy AND naive?" Harvey asks: "Why couldn't it work? I mean, as long as Master Coelaceanth is inside Aang's body, your team is basically MINUS one contestant anyways! And let's not forget; even if Aang IS a good athlete, you WILL have to think about the Team Merge eventually! He WAS helpful; but after the team merge, he'd be a threat to ALL of us!" Taotie says: "And I'm surprised that I can't argue with that!" Gonard says: "Besides, we have a golden opportunity to do it! Aang already PLAYED the Immunity Pendant last time! He can't get another one until AFTER this challenge!" Haggis says: "Than I say we do it! Who's WITH me?!" But nobody raises their hands! Haggis asks: "What? No enthusiasm?" Sway-Sway says: "Look, we really LIKE your good plan, it's a GREAT plan, and we like everything about your plan, except for one thing!" Haggis asks: "Well, what would THAT be?" Buhdeuce says: "You're TOO old to pull it off!" Haggis says: "Are you CRAZY?! Blonda is MILLIONS of times older than I am!" Bubble Bass says: "Technically, yes. But the difference is, is that she DOESN'T look it, and STILL has the skills to back up her looks!"

Zarbon says: "Bottom line is, you may HAVE the ambition, but you LACK the stamina! You can't catch up! You should save your strength for something you can ACTUALLY do, and LEAVE getting rid of Aang to me!" Haggis asks: "And what makes you think that SO you're capable?" Bulma scoffs, and she says: "DUH! He's ZARBON! And while his strength CAN'T hold a candle to the likes of Cell or the Androids, he's probably a LOT stronger than most normal humans could ever be! Statistically speaking, Zarbon's our best shot!" Haggis says: "Well, would YOU have come up with that idea if I hadn't FIRST?!" Fee says: "What difference does it make, whoever does the idea? Point is, you do the idea!" Dudley says: "Tell you what; Chameleon and I can give you a hug as a consolation prize!" Haggis says: "The only consolation prize I want is the breakfast buffet!" Chameleon asks: "THAN the hug?" Haggis says: "Don't hold your breath!" And Haggis walks out of his trailer, and SLAMS the door shut! Yakety says: "Don't tell anybody, but I'm totally NOT going to hold my breath!" Squidward says: "Nobody was expecting you to! And Bulma?" Bulma asks: "What do YOU want?" Squidward says: "I need to discuss a matter with you in PRIVATE!" Bulma says: "Sure, I'll discuss whatever you want! There's only ONE catch though!" Squidward says: "I KNEW it was too good to be true!" Bulma says: "It's not LIKE that! It's no big deal! Sometime during this season, I'll ask you for a favor, and you just do it. No questions asked! What do you say?" Zarbon says: "Don't GO for it, Squidward! Bulma has a HABIT of BETRAYING whoever HELPS her the most!" Bulma says: "HAD a habit, HAD!" Squidward says: "Okay, than! Now, let's go discuss that matter!" Bulma says: "Just remember; a favor now, for a favor later!"

(Confessional) Bulma and Squidward are together. Squidward says: "I guess the trouble all started when I was three. My father would tell me that I was NEVER to associate with sponges or become friends with them, because sponges were the EPITOME of stupidity and usefulness! And one day, I saw a very young Spongebob running around! I didn't even know his name, but I was fascinated on how he could take the simplest things, like blowing bubbles, and make them fun. That originally inspired my decision to do art, and create masterpieces! I created many different mediums of art revolving around that sponge! I was going to show it to him and officially introduce myself..." Bulma asks: "Than, what happened?" Squidward says: "I CAN'T remember!" Bulma asks: "Can't, or won't?" Squidward says: "CAN'T! If I DID, do you think I would NEED to talk to you right now?" Bulma says: "Well, what's the first thing you DO remember after that?" Squidward says: "I woke up, and looked to see my room, full of ruined masterpieces, all shattered to pieces, and I resolved to myself that I would NEVER become friends with a sponge, and have my masterpieces ruined again!" Bulma says: "Well, who do YOU think broke them?" Squidward gasps, and he says: "You don't think?!" Bulma says: "I'm afraid I do! I hate to say it, but your father must have seen your artwork, read you the RIOT act, and basically went King Triton on DESTROYING all of your artwork!" Squidward sighs in realization, and he says: "So THAT'S the real reason I've irrationally been hating Spongebob." Bulma says: "Sure! You TRIED to forget what your father DID to your artworks ALL these years, and because you couldn't take out your anger on your father, you took it out on the guy YOUR father irrationally hated, Spongebob!" Squidward says: "And to think, I've spent ALL this wasted time, hating the WRONG guy!" Bulma says: "Nothing is wasted time, if you can LEARN from it!" Squidward says: "Spongebob wants to be friends with me, but I'm not sure if I can. It would go against EVERYTHING I've said to him in the past 26 years!" Bulma says: "So what if it DOES? The only thing that is CONSISTENT about people, or octopus', in your case, is that they are FREE to change their mind; constantly, if they so choose! If I weren't free to change MY mind, I'd STILL be a petty, vain, stuck-up girl with no empathy for others!" Squidward says: "So, if I'm free to change my mind, does that mean that I should give being friends with Spongebob another shot?" Bulma says: "I wouldn't!" Squidward asks: "But why?" Bulma yells: "HELLO! As long as he is STILL a contestant on this show, he is STILL ultimately your enemy! He's OBVIOUSLY thinking about the Final Five right now!" /

Spongebob says: "You'll NEVER guess what I found in my SOCK last night! Go ahead, guess!" / Bulma says: "The bottom line is, Squidward, he will be bringing his A game to the table, so YOU have to do the same!" Squidward says: "But what if I have to compete WITH him in another challenge?" Bulma says: "Look! You'll just have to tell Spongebob, in NO uncertain terms, that you and he will never, EVER be ANYTHING resembling friends once this game show is over! You'll be doing him a FAVOR in the long run!" Squidward asks: "How do you figure that?" Bulma says: "It's called, 'Be Cruel To Be Kind'. It's the secret of MY success!" / Zarbon says: "Frankly, I don't know WHAT kind of game Bulma is trying to play, and I don't care! Just so long as she is NOT doing it with me!" / Bulma is alone, and she says: "I HAD to say what I said to Squidward! HELLO! If Squidward actually became FRIENDS with Spongebob, it would jepordize MY chances of being able to get Squidward to do what I WANT him to do! Now that the S.S. Aang has set sail, mingling, and making an alliance with contestants who have never PERSONALLY interacted with me is my best option! I've already GOT Squidward! I just need to make sure that I've got Sandy, Gerald, Fee, Jenny, Bubble Bass, and Yakety Yak in my back pocket, and I'll be to the Final Five quicker than you can say 'Easy Street'. Like Tigress, it's not the money I'm after, it's to prove a point that I can do BETTER playing a legitimate game, than I EVER did trying to cheat my way to the top!" / Squidward is alone, and he says: "Even though I know WHAT the reason for my hatred is, I STILL don't know what to do in regards to Spongebob!" / Harvey says: "It must be HARD being Haggis! People are starting to listen to MY ideas, but they seem to no longer be listening to HIS! I guess what I'm feeling, is what the other contestants would call, 'Empathy'. It's kind of WEIRD to feel something you've never felt before!" / Gonard says: "Haggis may have knowledge, but when it comes to stamina, he ranks at the bottom of the barrel! As long as his knowledge outweighs his lack of stamina, we'll keep him around. But, there may come a time where Haggis just MIGHT have to be eliminated. It's nothing personal, it's just the way the game has to be played!" /

Bubble Bass says: "I HAD to defend Blonda! HELLO! She's my WIFE! And NOBODY makes wise-cracks about my WIFE'S technical age! I certainly don't!" / Chameleon says: "I don't know WHY Haggis would turn down a free hug from me and Dudley! Our hugs are among some of the best things in the whole world; right up there to breakfast buffets and rainbows!" / Haggis says: "While I've heard wise-cracks about my age for quite some time now, saying that I lack the stamina to pull off a plan is going TOO far! Why is it that the moment you HIT 60, people just STOP taking you seriously?! Under the right conditions, certain people can live for ANOTHER 60 years! And I'm not about to let THEM dictate when I'm finished! I'LL decide when I'M finished!" (End Confessional) After the lengthy confessionals, a gong is rung, and over the loud-speakers, Sniz announces: "Attention Green Monkeys and Blue Barracudas, Kaput and Johnny Krill have been eliminated at the last Elimination Ceremony! Please come to the Moat to hear about our next challenge! That is all!" Spongebob says: "WOW! I never thought Johnny Krill would get eliminated THIS early! I'm sure Squidward's just as nervous as I am!" Treeflower says: "Personally, I don't know WHAT Squidward is feeling right now; all I know is, are you going to MAKE Squidward freak out AGAIN?!" Spongebob gets defensive, and he says: "HEY! I have NEVER intentionally made anybody FREAK out! Squidward is in charge of his OWN emotions, just in the same way that I'm in charge of my OWN emotions!" Darwin asks: "Are you SURE about that?" Spongebob asks: "Why do you ask?" Stimpy honestly says: "Well, you DO tend to CRY at the drop of a hat." Spongebob says: "Only if the hat is REALLY expensive, or my Krusty Krab Hat! The point is, I can keep my emotions under control!" Marlene says: "All right, we'll take your word for it. Just remember, we've only been through TWO challenges so far. We have a LONG way to go, yet!" Spongebob says: "Don't worry about me, I've got the stuff! It's Monster I'm worried about?" Monster says: "Why would you SAY that?!"

Dog says: "Well, you haven't exactly MADE much of an impression!" Monster says: "Well, that's because you're NOT making any USE of my skills!" Wally says: "Well, it WOULD help us to know what you can bring to the table!" Monster says: "Well, I AM super-strong!" Keswick says: "So is Super Chum!" Super Chum says: "It's true! In fact, I actually have to hold MY strength back, lest I accidentally BREAK something!" Monster says: "I have horns!" Heffer says: "I do, to! Mostly because, I AM a steer!" Monster struggles, and he says: "I'm purple!" Otto sarcastically says: "Congratulations, Monster! The minute that BEING purple becomes USEFUL in winning a challenge, please let ME know so that I can plan a ticker-tape parade!" Buhduece says: "UGH! Just IGNORE that idiot! I'm sure you can put your skills to use for SOMETHING!"

(Confessional) Treeflower says: "Since I can't see inside of Spongebob's mind, I'll simply have to take him at face value, when he says that he is not intentionally making Squidward freak out. All I know is, I know ALL of Spongebob's POSSIBLE antics! There is no way that HE is going to catch ME off guard!" / Stimpy says: "I can totally emphasize with crying. I cry with the knowledge that even someone as good as me, couldn't heal Ren of all the emotional trauma he must have had in his life. The only consolation I have, is knowing that NOBODY tried as hard to heal Ren as I did!" / Marlene says: "Honestly, I was more trying to talk to MYSELF than I was trying to talk to Spongebob! I mean, I have NEVER been forced to be on my own THIS early in a season of competition! I'm in uncharted waters! So, until further notice, I'll NEED every single member of my team to be on their A game as much as possible! And if there's a weak link, we'll have to get rid of it! I just sure hope it isn't Spongebob, that's the LAST guy that I want to vote off this season!" / Super Chum says: "It's not enough to have Super Strength, you also need to have a required Secondary Power; the ability to CONTROL your Super Strength!" / Otto says: "The first time I competed, I was really unique in terms of skills, athletics, and prowess. But with all these NEW contestants on the scene, it makes me realize that I need to stay current as to what will be expected of me as a contestant! I may only be human, but if REGGIE can win a season, I can to! I just have to keep my eyes on the prize!" / Buhdeuce says: "Somebody had to support Monster. And if I didn't, who would?!" / Monster says: "My team is DEPENDING on me to prove that I can be useful to them! Now, it's up to ME to prove that I have the skills to back up my words! I have to prove that I have as much of a right to be on this season as they do!" (End Confessional)

The contestants put on their team colors, and make their way to the Moat! Sniz says: "Welcome, contestants, to a brand new challenge! Although, that IS kind of redundant to say, since ANY challenge you face this season will PROBABLY be a new one for you! Still, this is one that will REALLY be, 'Hands on' if you know what I mean!" Sandy says: "Not really!" Sniz says: "Well, Olmec can TELL us why today's challenge will be 'Hands on', when he tells us about today's legend!" Olmec says: "Today's legend, is The Legend Of The Lost Arms Of Venus De Milo!" Sniz says: "Thank you Olmec! You four teams will have to battle it out! And in the end, only two of you will be able to have a chance to retrieve the Lost Arms Of Venus De Milo! But first, you have to get across the Moat! Here is how the Moat will work this time! In Ancient Greek times, when the Venus De Milo was first built, they would travel on water, by using oar paddle in a boat! Today, you will be doing the same! In groups of five, THAN four, each team must time their strokes carefully, to get across the Moat! Once one group is across the Moat, send your boat back on the rope pulley system, and the next group will get to go across. Just like the last time, your positions will be determined based on where you finish your journey across the moat!" Aang says: "And WE all know who will be finishing FIRST today, DON'T we, Tigress?! Don't tell me, I'm too modest!" And Tigress looks disgusted! (Confessional) Tigress says: "Did I REALLY sound THAT conceited and STUCK-UP when I was FULL of myself?! Why didn't anybody TELL me that I was sounding SO stupid?!" Than it hits her, and she face-palms herself, as she says: "Because somebody DID tell me, and I was STILL too conceited and stuck-up to hear it! TYPICAL!" / Aang chuckles, and in his own voice, he says: "Payback is a female dog, ISN'T it, Tigress?!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Green Monkeys, you will have to sit out two members, and for the other teams except for the Silver Snakes, you will have to sit out one member." Stimpy says: "I'll sit this one out. The water is reminding me of how much I miss...Lil!" Spongebob says: "And I'll sit this one out, so I can CHEER Squidward!" Squidward, without any emotion says: "Thank you, Spongebob." Bulma asks Squidward: "THIS is HOW you break the HARD truth to him?!" Squidward says: "You gotta pick your battles, Bulma!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "Too bad Squidward NEVER picks ANY!" / Stimpy says: "Why am I still thinking about Ren?! He's the LAST guy I should be thinking about! I told myself that when he went to jail, that was the END of his importance to my life, so why does my mind keep thinking about him?! I guess that song by Chicago got it right, Ren; you're a hard habit to break!" / Spongebob says: "I think Squidward's making PROGRESS! He didn't IGNORE me this time!" (End Confessional) Jenny says: "I'll sit this one out! I can't go for a walk without rusting in the rain, let alone, SWIM in it!" Fee says: "And I'll sit this one out to! I just got myself a perm, and I DON'T want to get it wet!" (Confessional) Fee says: "Any aspiring future model, must always make sure to take great pride in keeping their hair maintained to the best of their ability! It may be hard work, but it's always worth it!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "All right! Daggett, Haggis, Zim, Kitty, and Snaptrap, you'll make up the first group for the Silver Snakes! Treeflower, Darwin, Marlene, Dog, and Keswick, you'll make up the first group for the Green Monkeys! Otto, Sandy, Judy, Gerald, and Pearl, you'll make up the first group for the Red Jaguars! Sway-Sway, Harvey, Gonard, Dudley, and Squidward, you'll make up the first group for the Blue Barracudas! Everyone else except for the contestants who are sitting out, will make up the next group! On your mark, get set, go!" And the Silver Snakes START off impressive, as Haggis grits and says: "I'm going to show you that I STILL have STAMINA, and I'm NOT going to throw in the towel YET!" Zim says: "That's GREAT! So can you get..." Haggis says: "A life-time of experience is MORE important than cheap stamina ANY DAY!" Kitty says: "In acting, SURE! But we're not..." Haggis says: "The thing about GAINING experience, is that you learn by..." Snaptrap yells: "Would you LISTEN to US?!" Haggis says: "A traitor like YOU? NEVER!" Daggett asks: "Than would you listen to me?!" Haggis says: "Of course! By the way, can you tell me if we've won yet?" Than the camera pans out to reveal that they haven't MADE much progress at all, while the Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars have already GOTTEN across, and are sending their row-boats back! Daggett says: "No, but we HAVE made it a WHOLE four feet from where we STARTED!" Haggis asks: "How can THAT be?! I've been paddling as HARD as I CAN!" Aang screams: "You're doing it WRONG!!!! You've got to dig in DEEP!!!!" Haggis gets fed up, and he shouts: "Listen, you little punk! I don't know how YOU were raised, but it's NOT becoming for a guy who CLAIMS to be a hero like you!" Zim says: "Haggis, this REALLY isn't the time for..." Haggis says: "I am SICK and tired of every YOUNG punk who comes along to Hollywood who thinks they know EVERYTHING!" Kitty asks: "Could you spare the speech for...?" Haggis says: "When I was YOUNG, people RESPECTED their elders, and I EXPECT the same!" Snaptrap says: "I'd respect you MORE if you..." Haggis says: "ELIMINATED you?! Don't think I WON'T the way YOU'RE behaving!" Daggett says: "Well, the way YOU'RE behaving is COSTING us the RACE!"

Haggis asks: "WHAT?!" And he turns around to see the Red Jaguars and the Green Monkeys finish first! Sniz says: "And it's over! The Red Jaguars and the Green Monkeys will be working together yet AGAIN! Blue Barracudas and Silver Snakes, let us ALL hope that you are able to work a LOT better THIS time, than you did LAST time!" Aang yells: "You BETTER deliver! I will NOT allow OUR team to lose a THIRD time!" Haggis says: "First time for everything! Just remember, there is NO Immunity Pendant for you THIS time!" Aang chuckles, and he says: "At the rate of YOUR stamina, I don't think I'll even NEED it!" And Haggis gulps nervously! (Confessional) Haggis looks at his worn hands, and he says: "Has my stamina really degraded THAT much?! Have I really lost so much pep and vigor? I thought that as long as I could move, that would be enough! But now, I'm not so sure! If I can't even help row ONE row-boat across a moat, what good can I possibly be in a challenge?" / Daggett says: "I guess what the Rolling Stones song said is true; what a DRAG it is getting old!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, everyone! Take five and dry up! Because when we come back, we're get ready for the Steps of Knowledge, and today's challenge, on Total Cartoon Legends! Don't touch that dial, if you STILL have one!" / (Commercial Break) /

After the commercials end, the contestants are at the steps of knowledge! General Barracuda says: "Hey! I'm finally in the show! All right, contestants; as soon as Sniz gets back, Olmec will tell you about the legend, than he will ask questions to see how well you paid attention! And Green Monkeys?" Darwin answers: "Yes?" General Barracuda says: "If ONE of you is SMART to get to the bottom of the Steps of Knowledge first, you'll receive an Immunity Pendant of Life!" Spongebob says: "That's GREAT! I can TOTALLY do that!" Treeflower says: "Are YOU kidding?! He said; 'SMART', not 'STUPID'!" Spongebob yells: "WHAT?!!!" (Confessional) Marlene says: "Treeflower pressed Spongebob's 'Berserk Button', she shouldn't have DONE that!" (End Confessional) Spongebob says: "I thought you were OVER the whole, 'I'm better than everyone else in the competition' trait that you had in your FIRST two seasons!" Treeflower says: "I'm STILL smarter than you, and the ONLY one qualified to get us to the bottom!" Stimpy groans, and he says: "Come on, Treeflower, DON'T do this to Spongebob!" Spongebob asks: "Are you CHALLENGING me?!" Treeflower says: "That would IMPLY that you are a THREAT to me! And we ALL know that YOU'RE no threat to ANYBODY, because you are just TOO WEAK!!!!" And with a SUDDEN burst of golden energy; Spongebob yells in a deep voice: "SPONGEBOB IS NOT WEAK!!!!" And it dissipates in an instant, taking EVERYBODY aback!

(Confessional) Aang morphs into Master Coelaceanth's garb, and in Master Coelaceanth's voice, even HE nervously asks: "Have I ACTUALLY been underestimating that sponge this WHOLE time?! NO sponge should be capable of producing a power level THAT high, especially NOT him! I may have to accelerate my plans for ELIMINATING that sponge to be sooner, rather than later!" Aang morphs back into his own clothes, and in his own voice says: "That's FINE with me! I don't want to have THAT stupid sponge messing up MY plans to win this season ANYWAYS!" / Zarbon says: "I always thought that if I ever actually WITNESSED a Super Saiyan, it would come from an ACTUAL Saiyan! Not some...sponge! How did he ever GET such power in the FIRST place?!" / General Barracuda says: "Back in season three, when I tried to make Spongebob my personal apprentice, when I tried to TRICK him into thinking that he had NO free will and thus was as bad as I was; during his transformation, I briefly saw him turn GOLD! I thought that was a fluke, but it looks like I may have unlocked MORE than I bargained for! I guess even Spongebob has a BREAKING point; I'm just glad that I'm NOT the one who broke it!" / Tigress says: "Did I ACTUALLY almost cause THAT?! I've fought a LOT of things, but a BERSERK sponge Hell bent on DESTROYING you is NOT one of them! I can't IMAGINE how much Spongebob has been holding back his repressed anger from the people who have tormented him ALL of these years! And it seems like Treeflower's comment was FINALLY the thing that caused him to reach the tipping point! I just hope Spongebob can keep control of himself, for his own sake! If there's one thing I've learned, is that with great power, comes GREAT responsibility!" / Spongebob says: "I think I just BLACKED out for a bit! Did something just happen?! Everybody's acting SCARED of me for some reason!" / Squidward says: "Maybe it IS a good thing that I'm NOT trying to antagonize Spongebob anymore! I wouldn't want to have to fight him in THAT state like...EVER!!!!" / Treeflower gulps nervously, and she says: "Well, that blows MY whole 'Spongebob is weak' theory out of the water! I did NOT sign up for this!" (End Confessional)

Sniz comes back, and he says: "Okay, contestants! I'm ready to begin the Steps of Knowledge! Why does everyone look so scared?" Daggett says: "Little Miss Stuck-Up TREEFLOWER had to be a BIG SHOT, didn't you?! You HAD to OPEN up your MOUTH! She insulted Spongebob RIGHT to his face, and caused him to ROYALLY freak out!" Spongebob asks: "I FREAKED out?!" Sandy asks: "You DON'T even remember?!" Spongebob says: "No! I just remember, Treeflower told me something...than, NOTHING, until I wound up in the Confessional!" Dog says: "I always thought that if somebody were to LOSE it, that Spongebob would've been the LAST contestant that would've faced that possibility!" Keswick says: "Well, the answer is OBVIOUS; just don't INSULT Spongebob again!" Otto says: "I won't! But you can't COUNT on the Silver Snakes not to try something THAT stupid and dangerous! As far as I'm concerned, you can't trust them as far as you can THROW them, especially not SNAPTRAP!" Snaptrap says: "STOP doing that!" Kitty says: "You mean, singling YOU out?" Snaptrap says: "Exactly! It's getting on my nerves!" Dudley says: "Well, now you know how WE feel every time YOU threaten Petropolis!"

(Confessional) Daggett grabs out a notebook, and he writes in it! Daggett says: "Note to self; NEVER insult Spongebob!" / Spongebob says: "Blacked OUT?! I haven't blacked out since the time I had Fluffy Puffy! I...honestly don't remember anything about it, but Gary says I acted COMPLETELY O.O.C! I don't LIKE acting like that! I think I better talk to Sandy when I get a chance! She'll know how to deal with it!" / Sandy says: "I honestly DON'T know how to deal with that! That kind of anger, I've never SEEN from Spongebob before! It's not healthy to just HOLD that anger in all the time! Sooner or later, it's GOING to come out! I just hope I can figure out just WHAT it is, and help Spongebob deal with it in a healthy way!" / Otto says: "I always call it the way I see it! Snaptrap is the lowest of the low! He and Angelica DESERVE each other!" / Dudley says: "I hate to admit it, but it felt so GOOD to finally be able to tell Snaptrap off like that!" / Snaptrap groans, and he says: "FINE! I suppose I DESERVED that! But do I look like the type who would TRY to insult Spongebob after witnessing a FREAK OUT like that?! Rhetorical question; and I wouldn't! I value my own life TOO much to EVER risk a beatdown, even if it IS from a sponge!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "I'm sure that what you've been through is VERY interesting, but can we PLEASE just get through an episode where EVERYTHING happens the way it's supposed to?" Gerald says: "You'll have to ask the Silver Snakes about that! Because the rest of us are playing with a full deck, but they sure aren't!" Taotie says: "Hey! I haven't acted devious or evil on THIS season ONCE!" Po says: "So FAR!"

(Confessional) Taotie says: "I know they want to catch me doing something, but they can keep WAITING, because it's NEVER going to happen! / Gerald says: "No matter what happens, I plan on keeping MY cool this season; with or without any unexpected developments!" (End Confessional) Monster says: "I think we can get through an episode! Just one question before we do!" Sniz asks: "What would that be?" Monster says: "I thought one of the reasons Fondue was jailed, was because he allowed Bubble Bass and Po to run around naked without a permit, but they are STILL naked right now! What gives?" Sniz says: "Well, we didn't WANT to impose anything on our contestants that THEY didn't want, so this season, I made sure to fill out the PROPER forms, and it allows Bubble Bass and Po to be the best versions of themselves! I mean, if they're not forcing ANYBODY to be like them, it wouldn't be right for us, to force TEHM to be like us!" Wally says: "And that's a logic that I can TOTALLY agree with!" Zarbon says: "Oh, yeah?! Bubble Bass, you think you're SO smart being naked, what are you going to do if it gets COLD where you live?!" Bubble Bass smugly replies: "That's the reason I SAVED my Wolf Boy costume for just such an occasion!" Monster says: "All right! That's fine with me!" (Confessional) Zarbon says: "Well, Bubble Bass may not be one of the PRETTIEST creatures on this planet, but he's definitely one of the SMARTEST! I actually have to kind of respect that!" / Bubble Bass says: "While I don't think I'm on the same level as Bulma Briefs is, when it comes to being 'Crazy Prepared', I think I do pretty well for myself. It will be interesting to see how I stack up against the master schemer herself. In a way, I could probably learn a lot from her...on what NOT to do in a competition! And I already have a pretty good idea on what that looks like!" / Monster says: "The best version of themselves! I wonder what the best version of MYSELF would be like?" / Wally says: "Not everybody is lucky to have a robot buddy named Yay-Ok, or a buddy like Bubble Bass to help me be the best version of myself! That's why I'm glad to know them! I feel more like the best version of myself around them, than anyone else I know!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "All right! It's time to reveal the contestants who will be tackling the Steps Of Knowledge! For the Silver Snakes, it's Aang and Haggis! For the Green Monkeys, it's Spongebob and Stimpy! For the Red Jaguars, it's Sandy and Judy! And for the Blue Barracudas, it's Gonard and Bubble Bass! Now, Olmec will tell us about the Legend of the Lost Arms of Venus De Milo!" Olmec says: "During the Hellenistic Period of Ancient Greece, between 150 through 125 B.C.E., Alexandros of Antioch carved a statue out of Parian marble, measuring 6 feet eight inches high. The Greeks called it 'Afrodíti tis Mílou', or as the English speaking world has come to know it, the Venus De Milo. Believed to depict Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess of Love, the Venus De Milo has come to be known as one of the most famous works of Ancient Greek sculpture! The Venus De Milo originally had arms, and it is said that when Hercules was completing his 12 labors to become a Greek God, he accidentally threw a pebble too hard, and caused the arms to BREAK off of the statue! The statue became lost sometime during the fourth century A.C.E., but was rediscovered in 1820, on the island of Milos, Greece. While the statue itself is now displayed in the Louvre Museum of France, the arms themselves became lost to the mists of time, until they found their way to the temple! Your task is to retrieve the lost arms of Venus De Milo, and bring it back to the Temple entrance!" Sniz says: "Thanks Olmec! Where can the lost arms of Venus De Milo be found?" Olmec says: "The Lost Arms of Venus De Milo can be found at the bottom of the Devils' Slide, inside the Mine Shaft!" Sniz says: "All right! Teams, you will take turns answering questions! Green Monkeys, if you are the first team to get down, you will get an Immunity Pendant of Life, and the second team down will get an advantage in the final challenge! Olmec, it's time to ask the questions!"

Olmec asks: "When was the Venus De Milo originally carved?" Spongebob rings in and he says: "Between 150 through 125 B.C.E." Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Spongebob and Treeflower go down a step. Taotie says: "So you CAN answer one question, do you think ANYBODY is impressed?!" Tigress says: "I'm impressed that HIS foot moved FASTER than mine! Of course, it DOES help if you have SOMETHING to prove!" Taotie asks: "What's THAT supposed to mean?!" Tigress says: "Spongebob has INCENTIVE to prove himself, YOU don't! And that can make ALL the difference in the world!" And Taotie just growls angrily! (Confessional) Treeflower groans, and she says: "OOH, I kind of HATE it that SPONGEBOB answered, and got it RIGHT! That should be ME! Of course, I can't AFFORD to tick him off again, I HAD to suck it up, no matter how much I HATED it!" / Tigress says: "I never thought the little sponge could manage to impress me. Spongebob MAY be a more interesting opponent than I gave him credit for, and that doesn't happen often for me!" / Bubble Bass says: "The challenging thing when playing against Spongebob, is that you can't be EXACTLY sure of what he is thinking at any given moment! Underestimating him could be the BIGGEST mistake during your time as a contestant! And while I have a good idea as to what he can do, he has NEVER before exhibited such a level of anger and determination, and those are two VASTLY conducive factors to consider, when facing off against an opponent, no matter WHAT level of skill you THINK they might have! I'm last season's champion, and I think that even I'LL have a hard time competing against him!" (End Confessional)

Olmec says: "Who carved the statue of the Venus De Milo?" And Spongebob rings AGAIN! Spongebob says: "Alexandros of Antioch!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Spongebob and Treeflower go down ANOTHER step! Taotie ACTUALLY starts to sweat and he says: "Okay, NOW I'm a little nervous!" Daggett sarcastically retorts: "You THINK?! If Spongebob gets the NEXT one correct, Aang will ROYALLY freak!" And Daggett motions to Aang, whose face is LITERALLY turning red with anger! Daggett adds: "Of course, it's currently impossible to tell if it's Aang, Master Coelaceanth, or BOTH, who are feeling that way!" (Confessional) Aang screams: "WHEN DID SPONGEBOB GET SO SMART?!" / Bubble Bass says: "Didn't I say it? Underestimating Spongebob is a BIG weakness! If Master Coelaceanth thought it was BAD losing to me, can you imagine how he would react if SPONGEBOB managed to beat him? The blow to his ego would be absolutely crushing, and dangerous! I'm not sure whether I should be excited about the prospect, or nervous! Either way, I'll grab a bag of popcorn for when the action goes down!" / Daggett says: "And here I thought it would be EASY for me to outlast Spongebob in a season AGAIN! Looks like THAT ship is sinking fast, just like the Edmund Fitzgerald, which I ONLY know of because of that Gordon Lightfoot song!" (End Confessional) Olmec says: "Where was the Venus De Milo rediscovered?" And Spongebob rings AGAIN! Spongebob says: "On the island of Milos, Greece!" Olmec says: "That is correct! You have completed the Steps of Knowledge!" Sniz says: "Congratulations, Spongebob! And for answering ALL your team's questions, YOU get the Immunity Pendant of Life for the Green Monkeys!" Otto simply says: "Hmmph! Your LUCK will run out EVENTUALLY, Spongebob!" Spongebob snarkily says: "Lucky for me, I'm not RELYING on luck, I'm relying on KNOWLEDGE, that I have absorbed by reading a LOT of books! You ought to TRY it sometime!" Gerald says: "BURN!!!!" Otto sputters, and he says: "When did HE learn how to SNARK?!"

(Confessional) Otto says: "I can accept a LOT of things! Suzie being the breadwinner of OUR house?! Okay! Spongebob actually BEING smart? FINE! But trying to out-snark me is where I draw the LINE! Nobody over snarks me and gets away with it! He is going down on PRINCIPLE!" / Treeflower says: "I can't BELIEVE I didn't get to answer a SINGLE question! Is Spongebob TRYING to make ME look USELESS?! It's MY job to make OTHER contestants look USELESS! If he DIDN'T have the Pendant of Life right NOW...I guess I've got no choice but to FORCE him to play it the next chance we get! If ANYBODY is getting to the Final Two, it's GOING to be ME!!!!" / Tigress MOCKS Treeflower, and she says: "If anybody is getting to the Final Two, it's going to be ME! Does SHE even LISTEN to herself when she TALKS?! I sure wish I did, I could've SAVED myself a lot of trouble!" (End Confessional) However, Spongebob's win DAMAGES a NERVE deep in Master Coelaceanth's psyche, and Aang, in Master Coelaceanth's voice, screams: "I will NOT LET MYSELF BE HUMILIATED BY A SPONGE!!!!" And he RAISES his arms in frustration; but as he does so, his arms ACCIDENTALLY brush up against Haggis McHaggis, and even THAT little brush causes Haggis to FALL down the Steps of Knowledge, resulting in a SICKENING CRACK!!!! Kitty screams: "Aang, you JERK!!!! What have YOU done?!" Aang, in his normal voice, says: "It was an ACCIDENT! I SWEAR! I wouldn't have done that on PURPOSE! How was I supposed to know he could lose his balance THAT easily?!" General Barracuda says: "I reviewed the footage. His story checks out; he did NOT raise his arms with an intent to brush Haggis down the stairs!" Haggis groans, and he says: "HELP!!!! I've fallen and I...can't get up!" Blonda winces, and she says: "Ooh, that's not GOOD!" Bulma scoffs, and she says: "You THINK?! We could be DOWN another player, and we haven't even LOST yet!" Zim says: "But we haven't even PLAYED the Final Challenge yet!" Bulma scoffs, and she says: "That would IMPLY that you were CAPABLE of PERFORMING the Final Challenge, wouldn't it?!"

(Confessional) Aang, in his normal voice says: "I did NOT want to lose HAGGIS this way! He was supposed to QUIT humiliated, not BREAK himself! This season isn't going the way I WANT it to at all!" / Haggis is in a full-body cast, and he sadly says: "This didn't USE to happen to me! The spirit is willing, but the rest of me...I guess maybe I'm NOT cut out to be a contestant anymore!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "I'm calling it. Haggis, you are in clearly no condition to continue on in this competition. I'm calling in a Med Evac for your own health and safety. We will even PAY for all your medical bills and rehabilitation, if you PROMISE not to sue us!" Haggis groans, and he says: "I promise." Sniz asks: "Promise PROMISE? Not a fake promise? You're fingers aren't crossed are they?" And Haggis manages to lift up his un-crossed fingers. Sniz says: "Bada, Bing, take him away!" Bada and Bing bring out a stretcher, and they lay Haggis on it! Stimpy says: "Haggis, wait!" Haggis asks: "What do you want, Stimpy?" Stimpy says: "Look, I'm just sorry we didn't get a chance to really interact this season. I just want you to know that there's still SO much I could've LEARNED from you!" Haggis says: "And I wish I could've shown you, but it looks like I no longer can!" Stimpy thinks about it, and he says: "Well, maybe you still CAN! You may not PHYSICALLY be able to do some things anymore, but you can STILL talk about them! You can write a book about your experiences, and be able to inspire people that way!" Haggis excitedly says: "Do you really think I can write a book?!" Stimpy says: "Sure! If anybody can do it, I'm SURE that you can!" Haggis says: "I'll do it! Thanks Stimpy, you've made me feel a lot better about this!" Stimpy says: "That's what I'm here for!" Haggis sighs in contentment, and he says: "All right, gorillas, take me away!" And Bada and Bing carry Haggis out of the competition.

Sniz says: "Okay, with Haggis out of the competition, that officially means that the Silver Snakes won't have to face an Elimination Ceremony, having already LOST a member. Since we can't REALLY hold a Final Challenge with only three teams, I'll just say the Green Monkeys already HAVE a chance to enter the Temple, and go to a Sudden Death Tie-Breaker Question, between the Red Jaguars, and the Blue Barracudas! Whichever team answers this question correctly, WON'T have to face an Elimination Ceremony! Where is the Venus De Milo, currently on display?" And Sandy Cheeks rings in first, and she answers: "The Louvre Museum in Paris, France!" Sniz says: "That is correct! You are safe from elimination! Blue Barracudas, your fate awaits you once this challenge is over! Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars, you will get to go into the Temple! And NO, Tigress, you CAN'T compete again YET, you have to give someone ELSE a turn!" Tigress rolls her eyes and says: "Fine! Judy Funny!" Pearl suspiciously asks: "You want JUDY to go in there? She's a guaranteed CATCH by the Temple Guards!" Tigress says: "EXACTLY!"

(Confessional) Tigress says: "While I'm NOT egotistical, I STILL don't have time for LOSERS who are going to DRAG me down! If Judy wants to stay, she's going to have to prove herself, and her Temple Run will be a reflection on that!" / Pearl says: "I'll give Tigress points for brutal honesty." / Judy says: "It's time to put my acting skills to good use! Meg Ryan, eat your heart out!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Now, who's going for the Green Monkeys?" Monster raises his hand, and says: "I'll go! This is my chance to be the Best Version of myself!" Sniz says: "Very well! Olmec, tell us about the Temple!" Olmec says: "First, go into the Mummy's Crypt, and pull on the correct book, but beware of a Temple Guard! Next, cross the Bridge of Sighs, and using a key on the wall, open the correct pathway! Up above is the Observatory. Spin the Sundial, and go down into the Room of Harmonic Convergence. Place the Crystal Ball on the correct pedestal, which will allow you to go into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. Assemble the Monkey in the correct order, and you can go into the Emperor's Chamber! Smash the Clay Pots to find the key, which will allow you to go down the Devil's Slide. Down at the bottom is the Mine Shaft, where you can find the Lost Arms of Venus De Milo. Next, smash the stone wall, which will allow you to go into the Haunted Forest. Place the key into the correct tree, but beware of the spirit of a Temple Guard that may be haunting one of them! Next, go into the Room of Harmonic Convergence, and sit on the chair, in order to open the room back into the Pit. Than, climb through the Ledges, and find your way out of the Temple!" Sniz says: "Thanks Olmec! Are you ready, Judy!" Judy says: "Practically BORN that way!" Sniz says: "Than let's put three minutes on the clock! On your mark, get set, GO!" And Sniz narrates the action as Judy goes along!

Sniz says: "Judy runs into the Mummy's Crypt, and a Temple Guard right off the bat! She gives up her Pendant of Life, and she's pulled on the correct book! She's looking for the Key on the Wall, she finds it! Now to find the right door, and she's found it! Up into the Observatory! She spins the Sundial, and down into the Room of Harmonic Convergence! Another Temple Guard! Go Monster, go! He's going through the Mummy's Crypt, across the Bridge of Sighs, into the Observatory, and down into the Room of Harmoic Convergence! He's got the Crystal Ball, and he's found the right pedestal! Into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey! He's got the Base, he's got the Stomach, and he's got the Head! The door is open, into the Emperor's Chamber, and another Temple Guard! He gives up his Pendant of Life! Monster is smashing the clay pots, and he's found the key! He opens the door into the Devil's Slide, and (RIP!!!!) a weird sound as he slides down head first! It's dark, I can't really see, but he's got the Lost Arms of Venus De Milo! All the doors are open! Through the Dark Forest, through the Room of Harmonic Convergence, through the Pit, and through the Ledges! And Monster is coming out of the Temple--AHH!!!!" When Monster appears, he is shown ONLY from the waist up, and Monster says: "I did it! I did it! With only 30 seconds to spare, I did it!" Larry says: "You know what ELSE you did? You just WON that challenge without any PANTS!!!!" Monster asks: "I did?" Monster looks down and he says: "I did! That means, this IS the best version of myself!" Keswick looks dumbfounded, and he asks: "Seriously?" Monster says: "I can't believe that I could've been capable of such a feet, but I did it, without clothes! What a great feeling! I can be an inspiration to OTHER monsters!"

Jenny says: "Sure, let's...go with that!" Super Chum says: "In any case, you'll be a big help to us, now that you've found the best version of myself." Monster says: "Actually, that's all I WANTED to do this season!" Treeflower asks: "Seriously?" Monster says: "I was worried that when my show got cancelled, that meant that Robot and I didn't have what it takes to be great Nicktoons. But now I realize that the problem wasn't necessarily us, we just lacked that crucial element to being a great Nicktoon; being ourselves! And now that I know how to be the best version of myself, I can help Robot and all the others out to! In any case, I had fun! And I can leave with my head held high!" Dog asks: "Marlene, what do you think?" Marlene says: "Oh, let him go. We probably would've just voted him off in another episode anyways." Sniz says: "Very well, Blue Barracudas, looks like you won't have to face an Elimination Ceremony after all. Instead, Monster will come with me to the Mine Cart of Shame!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "Losing Monster to him finding the best version of himself? Eh, tragic. At least we got rid of the weakest link on our team, which surprisingly WASN'T Spongebob! I'm definitely going to have to be a LOT more careful around him!" / Super Chum says: "I would've preferred if Monster stay, but we can't force him to. Besides, I personally WANT him to be happy!" / Marlene says: "Monster may be going away, but we've still got to deal with Spongebob, and find out what's wrong with him! That's going to be the tricky part!" (End Confessional) The Blue Barracudas and The Silver Snakes are at the Elimination Ceremony, but they ALL have a Chocolate Pendant of Life, and are watching Monster about to get into the Mine Cart. Monster asks: "Uh, isn't Haggis McHaggis supposed to be joining me?" Sniz says: "Under normal circumstances, he would. But he's still in traction, it would be entirely INAPPROPRIATE for us to make him ride this! So, you'll have to settle for being a party of one, this time." Monster says: "Okay, just wondering."

And Monster puts on his helmet, gets into the Mine Cart, and buckles up! Sniz says: "Ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "3, 2, 1, BLAST OFF!!!!" And Monster blasts off on the Mine Cart of Shame, through the Mine Shaft of Losers! Sniz says: "And just like that, two more contestants are out of here! The Red Jaguars and the Silver Snakes will be able to hunt for another Immunity Pendant of Life, and the competition will be hot! It will be interesting to see which team will have the bigger ambition, and the bigger drive to win! All I know is, trouble will probably be hitting the fan, on the next exciting episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "It will be a 'Hands On' Experience!" / Stinger: Monster exits the portal, and he finds himself in San Quintan Jail in California! Monster says: "What? How did I wind up in a prison of all places?! I better ask someone how I go about getting out of here." Monster knocks the jail bars of a random cell, and he asks: "Excuse me sir, but I'd like to ask..." and the familiar voice of REN Hoek screams: "THE DEVIL?!!! It can't be you! Please, don't take my soul! I SWEAR I didn't mean to try to hurt Stimpy's Kids! It was the SOUL of Master Coelaceanth that TRIED to posess me, and I had to fight him out! PLEASE! I promise I'll be a better dog! I'll even pay Stimpy's child support! Just please spare me! I'll CHANGE!!!!" Monster says: "Wow! I had no idea my MERE appearance could change somebody for the better! Maybe I should make public appearances more often!" /

Episode Notes: Haggis McHaggis is eliminated by Med Evac, and Monster Krumholtz decides to quit. Incidentally, this becomes the first time this season where despite a team WINNING a Temple Run (the Green Monkeys), they STILL lose a contestant anyways. First appearance (to everyone EXCEPT General Barracuda), of Spongebob's PREVIOUSLY hidden Super-Powered EVIL side! Featured song in this episode, The Thompson Twins' "Hold Me Now," sung by Spongebob, Sandy, and Larry. Eliminated Contestants: 44. Kowalski. 43. Private. 42. Kaput. 41. Johnny Krill. 40. Haggis McHaggis. 39. Monster Krumholtz. Remaining Contestants: Aang, Silver Snakes. Daggett Beaver, Silver Snakes. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Judy Funny, Red Jaguars. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Darwin, Green Monkeys. Invader Zim, Silver Snakes. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Green Monkeys. Kitty Katswell, Silver Snakes. Verminious J. Snaptrap, Silver Snakes. Sway-Sway, Blue Barracudas. Harvey Beaks, Blue Barracudas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Heffer Wolfe, Red Jaguars. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Blonda, Silver Snakes. Taotie, Silver Snakes. Tigress, Red Jaguars. Gonard, Blue Barracudas. Po, Green Monkeys. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Blue Barracudas. Zarbon, Blue Barracudas. Bulma Briefs, Silver Snakes. Chameleon, Blue Barracudas. Fee, Blue Barracudas. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Blue Barracudas. Yakety Yak, Blue Barracudas. Squidward Tentacles, Blue Barracudas. /

Personal Notes: As any writer will tell you, one of the biggest challenges in writing episodes for a show of this nature, is the ability to develop "Doomed Characters". That is to say, characters who wind up not making it to the end of a series (although it's by elimination, not death in this case). While Haggis' age had previously been the subject of many jokes on this show, the purpose of his elimination was to illustrate just HOW such a factor could NOT be played for laughs, and would actually serve as the catalyst to his elimination! At the very least, it looks like Haggis is going to be inspired to be a teacher, instead of a contestant! And Monster Krumholtz? He arguably had the weakest storyline potential of any contestant in the Green Monkeys, but the Green Monkeys HAD to have at least ONE contestant that was Cannon Fodder, to show that they were NOT going to be Team Retro 2.0, and they suffered their first contestant loss a lot sooner! As for Spongebob; as anyone who deals with ACTUAL sponges can tell you, a sponge can only ABSORB so much! Water, grime, dirt, grease; and in Spongebob's case, negative insults and emotions! Spongebob is a case of what happens if you TRY to just IGNORE feeling negative emotions, you end up SNAPPING under a normally SMALL insult, and in extreme cases, even BLACK out while doing it! Of course, the reason for this happening NOW, will become very plot relevant in the NEXT episode! How; remains to be seen! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

Since this episode is so long, I'll just get right into it! Enjoy! / Cold Open: The show opens with the image of Master Coelaceanth in his old fish body. Master Coelaceanth narrates: "My name is Master Coelaceanth. My family and I have done many TERRIBLE things! 65 million years ago, we helped spread the toxic elements that the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs, and helped speed their evolutionary extinction! Next, our family attacked and SANK Atlantis, and successfully framed COSMO for doing it! Next, our family DELIBERATELY helped LEAD the European ships to the American continents, where they proceeded to SLAUGHTER the natives like we KNEW they would! Next, our family PUSHED the iceberg DIRECTLY into the path of Titanic, so that it would SINK that ship and claim innocent lives! Than, I was born! After mastering the secret art of being able to breathe oxygen, the first thing I did was to be the secret gunman on the grassy knoll, who shot the President in Dallas! Next, I helped insure the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald that Gordon Lightfoot would end up singing about. I manipulated General Horatio Barracuda into joining me. I killed his first wife Ambrosia, and made it look like it was ALL General Barracuda's fault! I employed some of Nickelodeon's most dangerous villains, to try to ANNIHILATE Spongebob and his PATHETIC friends! I was killed, but I wouldn't let my spirit rest in peace. I came back, first as Springtrap, than, I TRIED to possess Ren, and TRY to have HIM hurt his own kids before he managed to evict me, than I got brought back in my undead body. My body was burned in fish oil, and I was eaten by Tigress. My soul tried to manipulate Tigress into doing my bidding, but she got rid of me, and I wound up in Aang. Since than, I have successfully coaxed Aang into doing my loyal building, all for the purpose of being able to HUMILIATE and break Spongebob's spirits, and prove that MY species is the ULTIMATE on the planet! My name is Master Coelaceanth. I have done MANY terrible things!" Master Coelaceanth MORPHS into Aang, Aang's voice joins him, and they both say: "And I have absolutely NO regrets!" /

The show opens up proper, and Sniz says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Legends, there were 40 contestants left. Haggis McHaggis began to FINALLY feel his age, and Aang was NOT happy about it one bit! Meanwhile, Monster Krumholtz began to wonder what kind of function he could serve, as a member of the Green Monkeys! While the crossing of the Temple Moat occurred without much incidence; on the Steps of Knowledge, Spongebob Squarepants royally FREAKED out when Treeflower said an insult that FINALLY caused Spongebob to reach his rage-breaking point! I guess even Spongebob had to have HIS limits! Spongebob wasted no time in getting back at Treeflower, by answering EVERY single question correctly, and making Treeflower look COMPLETELY useless! Doesn't feel so good when the shoe is on the OTHER foot, now does it, Treeflower? Aang/Master Coelaceanth couldn't take being humiliated by Spongebob, but when he raised his arms, he accidentally caused Haggis to trip down the Steps of Knowledge, where Haggis broke his back! OUCH! Seeing as how Haggis was in no condition to continue, I graciously decided that we would pay for all of his medical expenses and rehabilitation, as long as he promised not to sue us! There's a thing to be said for good publicity! Monster decided to do the Temple Run, and he managed to win it, COMPLETELY naked! Even weirder, he decided THAT was the best version of himself! If it works for him, more power to him! Deciding that's all he wanted to do this season, Monster Krumholtz decided to quit, and took the Mine Cart of Shame. Now we're down to 38 contestants, and two more of them will have their runs as contestants, end today! Who will it be, and how will Spongebob deal with his anger issues, and will Master Coelaceanth FINALLY face his day of reckoning?! These questions will be answered on a brand new episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" /

Instead of the normal show open, Spongebob and Bubble Bass star in a shot for shot remake of the Erasure music video "Chains Of Love," while singing that same song! / Spongebob sings: "How can I explain, when there are few words I can choose. How can I explain when words get broken? (Yeah) Do you remember there was a time, ahaha; when people on the street were walking hand in hand in hand? They used to talk about the weather, making plans together. Days would last forever. Come to me, cover me, hold me. Together we'll break these chains of love! Don't give up (Don't give up)! Don't give up (Don't)! Together with me and my baby, break the chains of love! Do you remember once upon a time, ahaha; when there were open doors, an invitation to the world. We were falling in and out with lovers, looking out for others, our sisters and our brothers. Come to me, cover me, hold me. Together we'll break these chains of love! Don't give up (Don't give up)! Don't give up (Don't)! Together with me and my baby, together we'll break these chains of love! How can I explain, when there are few words I can choose. How can I explain when words get broken? We used to talk about the weather. Making plans together. Days would last forever. Come to me, cover me, hold me! Together we'll break these chains of love! Don't give up (Don't give up)! Don't give up (Don't)! Together with me and my baby break these chains of love!Together we'll break these chains of love! Don't give up (Don't give up)! Don't give up (Don't)!Together with me and my baby break the chains of love! Together we'll break these chains of love!Don't give up (Don't give up)! Don't give up (Don't)! Together with me and my baby break the chains of love! Together we'll break these chains of love!" And the music video and song ends! / "The Legend Of The Broken Shackles of Harriet Tubman!" /

The show opens up in the fancy hotel suite being used by the Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars. Sandy and Spongebob are sitting in a private conference room, waiting for someone, and in through the door walks Bubble Bass! Sandy says: "Thank you for coming on such short notice, Bubble Bass!" Bubble Bass says: "I assume you didn't ask me over merely to share your hotel snacks and accommodations." Sandy says: "Well, no. We came to discuss...well, Spongebob." Spongebob asks: "Me?! Why do you want to talk about me?" Sandy, uncomfortably, but honestly says: "Well, you DID kind of freak out a little the other day when Treeflower called you stupid!" Spongebob SNAPS and he loudly says: "THAT'S A LIE!!!! Treeflower MIGHT have said something, but I would NEVER freak out OVER...!" Bubble Bass COUGHS to get Spongebob to pay attention to what he's DOING to Spongebob's OWN chair, and Spongebob realizes he almost completely CRUSHED through a solid STEEL arm chair! Bubble Bass calmly says: "I'm going to calmly ask you to keep your temper down." Spongebob's anger subsides, and Spongebob asks: "What is happening to me?" Sandy says: "That's why I asked Bubble Bass to come over here. Bubble Bass, your knowledge and help is CRUCIAL right now! You've seen EVERY single episode of Spongebob Squarepants, Kamp Koral, and The Patrick Star Show made as of May 30, 2022 at least ONCE! Surely you can figure out how to explain this sudden change of behavior!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, it would HELP to know what sponges are NORMALLY good at! Is there any particular thing Spongebob can do very well, that NORMAL sponges can do as well?" Sandy says: "Obviously, the first thing that comes to MY mind, is his ability to absorb things!" Bubble Bass says: "That's what I thought! Spongebob, I have a theory, but I need you to stand perfectly still first."

Spongebob asks: "You're not going to try to pull that 'Pickles' trick again, are you?" Bubble Bass says: "First of all, that was a ONE time thing! Second, I'm not the type of guy who would make the SAME mistake TWICE, I actually LEARN from my experiences! I just need you to stand still, so I can create a PERFECT bubble replica of you!" Spongebob says: "I've never personally seen you do THAT before! This will be interesting to see!" Bubble Bass says: "Right! So, stand still...PERFECT!!!! Here comes BUBBLEBOB!!!!" And using his bubble making power, Bubble Bass creates a PERFECT bubble replica of Spongebob! Spongebob says: "Wow! I appreciate the attention to detail!" Bubble Bass says: "I'm sure you do! Now, Sandy, let's say this Bubblebob represents Spongebob when he's normal." Sandy asks: "NORMAL normal, or Spongebob normal?" Bubble Bass says: "Spongebob normal, obviously! Even I think being NORMAL normal would be a CRIME against Spongebob's inherent nature!" Spongebob says: "Okay, so, what happens now?" Bubble Bass says: "I need to ask something of you, something that I NEVER thought I would ask you. Spongebob, would it be okay if I gave you a hug?" Spongebob says: "A HUG?!!! DREAMS DO COME TRUE!!!!" Bubble Bass looks strangely at the camera! (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "I don't pretend to be a psychiatrist. First of all, you need an ACTUAL degree before you can legally practice such a thing. But, seeing as how we don't HAVE an actual pyschiatrist here, I suppose I'm the closest thing Spongebob has got!" / Spongebob says: "I always DREAMED of Bubble Bass hugging me; now he's going to actually do it, out of actual LOVE!" / Sandy asks: "Spongebob actually WANTS Bubble Bass to hug him? Eh, weirder things HAVE happened!" (End Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Yes, Spongebob, I DO want to hug you. But, you have to PROMISE not to tell ANYBODY else about this!" Spongebob says: "You KNOW I can't promise you THAT!" Bubble Bass says: "At least you're honest about it! Oh, I almost forgot! Just a precaution, I need to put some bubble CHAINS around Bubblebob! I just hope I'm WRONG!"

Bubblebob makes STRONG bubble chains, securing Bubblebob to a steel chair! Bubble Bass says: "Are you ready, Spongebob?" Spongebob says: "I'm READY!" Bubble Bass says: "Right! Here we go!" Bubble Bass LIFTS Spongebob up, and, as HARD as he can, Bubble BASS squeezes Spongebob OVER Bubblebob, trying to GET anything that Spongebob has absorbed, into the bubble copy, and there is a LOT of negative looking stuff that gets poured into the bubble copy! Bubble Bass says: "WOW! That felt...a LOT better than it should have! Why didn't you TELL me you were so good to hug?" Spongebob says: "You didn't ask!" Bubble Bass says: "It's a fair cop." Sandy asks: "More importantly, how do you feel?" Spongebob says: "I feel really GREAT! Better than I've felt in a LONG time!" Bubble Bass groans, and he says: "I wish we could say the same for your bubble copy, LOOK!" And the Bubblebob copy now looks all purple, MEAN, nasty, and EVIL, and is trying to break free from the steel chair, but is unable to, due to the strong bubble chains Bubble Bass made! Bubble Bass groans, and says: "Oh, man! I HATE it when I'm right about things that I don't WANT to be right about!" Spongebob nervously asks: "Did THAT nasty stuff actually come out of ME?!" Bubble Bass says: "That's why I needed to hug you, and why I needed to create a bubble copy. Spongebob, you are a sponge. And I've always known you were NEVER just an ordinary sponge. How could you be? You've had more adventures in 23 years, than most people have in their entire lives! But, there is one trait you DO share with normal sponges, the ability to ABSORB things! However, it seems like you're a brand NEW evolution of sponge! In addition to absorbing water and stuff, it seems like you can LITERALLY absorb knowledge and emotions. However, you don't yet seem to have the ability to filter out the good from the bad. And, there's only so much a sponge can absorb before they can't ABSORB anymore! And the only way a sponge CAN absorb more, is if you..."

Sandy finishes: "Squeeze them out!" Bubble Bass says: "Like a hug!" Spongebob sadly says: "I had no idea all those negative emotions were inside of me, or that they had built up for so long. I thought I was happy. I thought that words couldn't get to me." Bubble Bass says: "Spongebob, this may be HARD for you to hear, but you NEED to hear it anyways. Words CAN hurt! Not physically, but mentally and emotionally! It's perfectly NORMAL to feel upset, sad, or even ANGRY about it! You can't just bottle up and repress your emotions like that! It's not healthy! Do you see what happens when you TRY to do that? You explode in RAGE all at once, and I KNOW that's not you! You HAVE to deal with your emotions in a healthy way!" Spongebob asks: "But can't you just POP Bubblebob, and cause those emotions to POP out of existence?" Bubble Bass says: "That's NOT how dealing with emotions WORKS, especially NOT for anyone who ISN'T a sponge! Dealing with emotions properly is an important skill! Now, I don't know WHY you haven't learned how to deal with them, but it's high time you learned. If you learn how to deal with your emotions properly, you'll be all the better for it!" Spongebob asks: "Are you going to be my teacher, and TEACH me how to deal with my emotions?" Bubble Bass says: "Of course, I will!" And just like that, the purple level in the BubbleBob copy goes DOWN a little! Sandy says: "Did you see THAT?! The BubbleBob copy responsed to something POSITIVE! Maybe if there are more POSITIVE things you can say, maybe the negative level will go down some more!" Bubble Bass says: "Right! Positive things...Spongebob, I'm sorry I pulled the 'Pickle' trick on you and caused you to get 'Heroic B.S.O.D'." And the purple level in Bubble Bob goes down some more! Sandy says: "That's good! Say something else!" Bubble Bass says: "Spongebob, I'm sorry I tricked you and Patrick into doing all of my MOVING for me, and not giving you a Krabby Patty like I promised."

And the purple level in Bubblebob goes down some more! Sandy asks: "Anything else?" Bubble Bass says: "Spongebob, I'm sorry I dressed as Wolfboy and tried to trick you into giving up your action figure, I should've just asked politely and/or traded with you!" And the purple level in Bubblebob goes down to ALMOST halfway, but there's still more unfiltered negative than BubbleBob's normal 'Bubble-ness'! Sandy says: "Don't stop now, we're almost halfway there!" Bubble Bass says: "But I can't THINK of anything else to apologize for! And I don't think it will work if I apologize for things that someone else did. Can YOU think of something?" Sandy thinks about it, and says: "Spongebob, I'm sorry if I ever doubted your abilities in the past. You're a wonderful friend to me, and I'm GLAD that you're my husband!" And the negative level in Bubblebob goes down to EXACTLY halfway! Bubble Bass asks: "Is that all?" Sandy says: "I didn't HAVE as much to apologize for as YOU did! Give me a break here!" Bubble Bass says: "I guess that means the rest of it must be from the times Squidward and/or somebody else said something about him. Unfortunately, I highly doubt we'll get SQUIDWARD to apologize to Spongebob, and we don't have time to track down anyone else who might have put Spongebob down. Besides, we can't FORCE someone to apologize to Spongebob. I mean, TECHNICALLY we could, but that would be wrong!" Spongebob asks: "But what do WE do in the meantime?" Bubble Bass says: "Well, your negative stuff is now HALF gone, so you SHOULD be able to manage well enough now! Still, remember what I said about handling your emotions in the proper way. If someone is telling you something you don't like, you need to EXPRESS yourself in a courteous, but firm way."

Spongebob asks: "But what if THAT doesn't work?" Bubble Bass says: "Spongebob, you can't FORCE everyone to like you! And sad as it is to say, not everyone is going to respect your wishes. But that doesn't mean that you HAVE to let them have ANY power over you! YOU can choose to ignore them and NOT listen to them! Bullies and other malcontents THRIVE on negative attention! You HAVE to ignore them and NOT feed into their mentality! Even if they HAVE a 'Freudian Excuse', it is simply NO excuse for treating YOU so badly! And I...unintentionally or otherwise, played a part in that. I guess, I was afraid of my own feelings. I wasn't used to feeling the way I do around you. It's strange, but, the more time I spend around you, the more I start to like you and respect you. I wish I started doing it sooner!" Spongebob says: "I do to! But what matters is, you're friends with me NOW, when I could use it the most!" Bubble Bass says: "Thank you! Do you think you can handle BubbleBob inside of you, now?" Spongebob looks at his remaining negative emotions, and he says: "I'm good, because I CHOOSE to be good! Nobody is going to make that choice FOR me! And I know you will BOTH do everything you can to help me!" Sandy says: "Of course we will! And Bubble Bass?" Bubble Bass says: "Yes, Sandy?" Sandy says: "If I ever get eliminated in this competition before you and/or Spongebob, will you PLEASE make sure Spongebob is safe in my stead?" Bubble Bass says: "Well, we're not on the same team, but I'll do what I can! I...!" Spongebob says: "You what?" Bubble Bass says: "I...need to reunite you with ALL your feelings!" And Spongebob absorbs Bubblebob, and Spongebob is back to Spongebob Normal! Sandy says: "Well, at least we now know how to approach this problem! So much for the EASY part! Now, it's time for the main event!" Bubble Bass laughs nervously, and he says: "Right! The main event!"

(Confessional) Sandy says: "I think we made several important breakthroughs today! It wasn't easy, but Spongebob learned that it's just not healthy to TRY to have a positive attitude ALL the time. Sometimes, you NEED to express when you're feeling angry or upset! That doesn't make you bad, it just makes you HUMAN!...Or Sponge, as the case may be! You just have to be sure to express your feelings in a healthy, constructive way! And if anybody can teach Spongebob handle his emotions, I'm SURE Bubble Bass can!" / Bubble Bass nervously says: "I...almost said I LOVE Spongebob! Why would I SAY that?! Do I REALLY care for him MORE than I ever thought I did?! I married Blonda because I was in love with her! So, why do I feel such a strange feeling of attachment towards Spongebob? Is THIS what Squidward feels like EVERYDAY? Does he have similar feelings towards Spongebob? Of course, I'm not going to ASK Squidward! He'd flat out DENY it, first of all! Second of all, what if BLONDA found out?! I'm not sure where this is going to go to; all I know is, I want to be a GOOD father for Rube! That is more important than anything else!" (End Confessional) In Daggett's own trailer, Daggett has gathered the remaining Silver Snakes and Blue Barracudas (minus Aang) together. Daggett says: "Guys, girls, and other associated creatures, we are in a BAD spot right now! Us Silver Snakes, we are down THREE, nothing! None of the other teams has lost as many contestants as WE have! Why can't we pull it TOGETHER?!" Kitty says: "Obviously, it's because we have too MANY evil villains here, trying to backstab and betray each other!" Snaptrap says: "You mean, we WOULD, if I were allowed to actually CHEAT, we might actually WIN a challenge for once!" Blonda asks: "But is that REALLY the way you want to win, with a BIG, FAT, asterisk?!" Snaptrap says: "It would STILL be better than LOSING, that's for sure!"

Bulma says: "Losing isn't even our biggest PROBLEM this time! The problem is Aang, possessed by Master Coelaceanth!" Zim says: "And I'm shocked that I AGREE with her!" Bulma says: "Regardless of whether it WAS accidental or not, the fact of the matter is, we LOST Haggis the other day BECAUSE of Aang! As far as I'm concerned, Aang is OFF the team!" Taotie says: "No arguments from me there! The question is, how are we going to make SURE Aang gets eliminated? The Immunity Pendant for the Silver Snakes will be up for grabs again! And you know Aang will do ANYTHING it takes to get that Pendant!" Bulma says: "Which is why I've GOT a plan to make SURE Aang DOESN'T get it, and it doesn't involve ANYONE who has had dealings with me in the past, just in case you were wondering!" Gonard says: "Which is perfectly fine with me, I just want to play the game!" Bulma says: "Squidward, Yakety Yak?" Yakety asks: "You want me?" Squidward excitedly asks: "You NEED me?!" Bulma says: "Yes. Yakety, it's time to learn WHAT your skills are! Squidward, it's time you REPAID that favor to me!" (Confessional) Daggett asks: "When did I, of ALL contestants, become one of the few SANE ones trying to keep OUR team together?! Now I know how Treeflower felt during HER first two seasons as a contestant!" / Kitty says: "Our failure rate is WORSE than the Chicago Cubs' track record between 1906 through 2016! And if it isn't, it's definitely comparable!" / Snaptrap says: "I am feeling SO miserable and underappreciated this season! I feel my creativity DRAINING right out of me! I've ALWAYS been a cheater and a malcontent! Without those things, I'm...nothing! OOH...Master Coelaceanth MAY be an unspeakable evil, but working for him would be a HELL of a lot better than having to SUCK it up with the REST of my team! I have no choice, I HAVE to form an alliance with him! It's the only way I'll be able to hold onto any SEMBLANCE of my SANITY!" / Bulma says: "I ALWAYS save my best plans for when I need them most! And while there were several candidates MORE worthy of carrying out my task, Squidward and Yakety Yak were a few of the ONLY contestants who haven't spent enough time around me, to know what I'm capable of! I will play them like a harp! And as long as they sound good, I'll keep them! The minute they stop being useful, I'll convince the others to vote them off! As long as I come off being MORE useful to challenges than THEY are, I should be PERFECTLY safe!" (End Confessional)

Bulma takes Squidward and Yakety Yak to her own private trailer. Bulma says: "All right, Yakety, spill it! Are you ANY good at carving?!" Yakety says: "You're looking at the BEST carving yak in all of yak history! Not that I know of a lot of competition, I'm just saying!" Bulma says: "Good! I need you to carve a FAKE Immunity Pendant of Life for Aang to find! If he finds the FAKE Pendant, he won't spend time trying to look for the REAL one! But just as an EXTRA precaution, that's where Squidward comes in!" Squidward says: "And what do I have to do?" Bulma says: "You will keep your eyes on Aang at ALL times, and make sure he does NOT leave your gaze for one minute during the competition! You need to make sure that Aang does NOT find the REAL Immunity Pendant of Life!" Squidward asks: "But why can't YOU do it?" Bulma says: "DUH!!!! Because I need to find the Immunity Pendant of Life for myself! I'm the biggest THREAT to Aang's plans, he's going to target ME first! That's why I need to be the one who finds it! Besides, it wouldn't be any good to the two of you, since you're both on the Blue Barracudas." Yakety says: "That's a fair enough point." Bulma says: "And one more thing, Yakety; make EXTRA sure you make YOUR carving look like SNAPTRAP'S craft, I'll give you an example of what HIS looks like!" And Bulma gives him various blueprints of Snaptrap's schematics. Yakety asks: "But why do I need to make it look like Snaptrap's work?" Bulma says: "Obviously, so they can't trace it BACK to you! I KNOW this isn't exactly a completely altruistic plan, but it NEEDS to be done! Master Coelaceanth is CLEARLY the bad guy in this scenario, and we HAVE to get rid of him, regardless of HOW that gets accomplished!" Squidward says: "Agreed. The longer he stays here, the more dangerous he becomes to the rest of us!" And all three of them put their hands or tentacles together in agreement! Bulma says: "And one final thing; under NO circumstances are you to let ANYONE else know what we discussed about in this trailer! Aang can NOT know what we are planning until it is too late for him to stop us!" Yakety says: "I can't argue with her there! There's simply no telling what fury the Avatar might unleash if he knew we were plotting against him!"

(Confessional) Bulma says: "The only reason I'm NOT the one making the FAKE Immunity Pendant of Life, is that Snaptrap already has experience of me FRAMING him for one of MY misdeeds! But Yakety? Snaptrap would NEVER see that coming! Besides, I've already figured out that Snaptrap will TRY to betray us by trying to sell us out to Aang, and I'm simply repaying him in kind! Poor fool! You should NEVER be too predictable, when it comes to being a villain!" / Yakety says: "I wasn't born YESTERDAY, obviously! I know that Bulma is asking us to do slightly unethical things in order to get rid of Aang, but Aang is a danger to OUR team as well, in addition to everyone else! Besides, we get Aang out of the game, it's one LESS gigantic thing for us to worry about!" / Squidward grunts in irritation, and says: "It FIGURES Bulma would make ME do the most DANGEROUS part of this whole endeavor! That is SO typical Bulma! Keeping herself the safest, while making her so-called 'Partner's', do all the dirty work for her! But the thing of it is, I HAVE no better options at the table! Besides, Bulma outlasted a WHOLE 51 other contestants in season three, so she must have been doing SOMETHING right! Besides, if I know what she's capable of, I can take steps to protect myself! Who says you CAN'T teach an old octopus new tricks?!" (End Confessional) Sniz rings a gong, and over the loud-speakers he says: "Just a reminder, contestants! Haggis McHaggis has been eliminated via Med Evac, and Monster Krumholtz quit the competition! Everyone else, please report to the Moat to hear about today's legend! That is all!"

Stimpy sighs, and says: "I still can't believe Haggis is gone! I've never been FORCED to be on my own THIS early in the competition before!" Marlene says: "Stimpy, you're not REALLY alone, you're with the REST of your team!" Dog says: "That's right! We are ALL on your side, and Haggis would WANT you to keep going!" Super Chum says: "The mark of a TRUE hero, is their ability to persevere even when times get tough! What would Powdered Toast Man do, BESIDES not fly forwards?" Stimpy says: "He would fight against the most vile villain no matter WHAT the odds! I know that I'll be all right, because I know that I can rely on the rest of you to be my friends!" (Confessional) Stimpy says: "I guess it is kind of silly that I've been missing Ren. I mean, I still have nine other contestants on my team who have got my back. I don't NEED to think of REN...do I?" / Super Chum says: "Even though I can't use the FULL extent of my super strength, due to the rules of the competition, I can still use normal strength, and that should be enough to protect Stimpy, and help us win the day!" (End Confessional) The contestants suit up into their team colors, and line up at the moat! Sniz says: "Welcome contestants, to what might be one of the most eventful days in YOUR entire life! While it is true that two more of you will be eliminated when all is said and done, I still have the feeling that it will be quite memorable for more reasons that that!" Aang, in his own voice says: "Especially, because when I get through making a completely HUMILIATING display on the Green Monkeys, they're going to wish they never, EVER met me!" Wally says: "You're a little too late in THAT department, I already WISH I hadn't met you!" Aang, in his own voice says: "SHUT UP! You KNEW what I MEANT, especially SPONGE BRAT!!!!" Spongebob says: "If you're trying to freak me out, it won't WORK this time! I've gotten help in dealing with my emotions properly!" Snaptrap scoffs, and he says: "PROPERLY?! You couldn't even get your DRIVER'S license without General Barracuda's help! What hope could you POSSIBLY have against the two of us?!"

Spongebob says: "I have friends, REAL friends, who I don't have to INTIMIDATE through fear or FORCE to get them to do things for me, they do things because it's the RIGHT thing to do! And Snaptrap, I think you're MUCH too gifted of a genius to let yourself be controlled by a dirty COWARD like Master Coelaceanth!" Aang morphs into Master Coelaceanth's garb, and in Master Coelaceanth's voice, he says: "WHAT...did you just SAY?!!!" Spongebob says: "Oh, I'm sorry, was that too complicated for YOU, Master Coelaceanth? I'll TRY dumbing it down into language that YOU can understand! DUH!!!!" Master Coelaceanth says: "I am GONNA--!" Aang JERKS back into control, and Aang says: "WRONG!!!! Wrong, wrong, WRONG!!!! Stick to the plan, stick to the PLAN!!!!" Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "I'm TRYING, but he's making it so DIFFICULT!!!!" Aang says: "Use your HEAD! If he gets eliminated via Med Evac, you'll accomplish NOTHING towards getting revenge against him! You HAVE to break his spirit first! It's the ONLY way you can WIN for good!" Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "I DESPISE the word, 'Good', but you DO have FAR more experience eliminating contestants than I do. I'll cede control to you, for now!" And Aang morphs back into his own garb! Aang, in his own voice says: "And I personally do not LIKE being told what to do!" Sniz says: "That may be, but you'll still need to listen to today's legend, and find out how to get across the Moat! Olmec, what is the Legend for today?" Olmec says: "Today's legend is the Broken Shackles of Harriet Tubman!"

Sniz says: "All right! In the spirit of that challenge, the way you're going to cross the Moat today, revolves grabbing the shackles hanging on the sturdy chain pulley system! You will swing across the moat, making sure to grab onto every shackle, in order to get across! If you fall off, you will have to swim back and try again! Once all team-members are across, you will ring your respective team's gong, in order to advance to the Steps Of Knowledge! Where you finish, will determine which team setup we will have today! And, since every team besides the Silver Snakes has two extra members, those teams will have to sit two members out." The Green Monkeys discuss with each other, and Po says: "Super Chum and I will sit this one out; we don't want to accidentally BREAK the shackles with our super strength!" Judy says: "I don't have super strength, I just don't feel like getting WET right now, so no!" Gerald says: "That goes for me! I just got my hair to look the way I want it to, and my lady fans would be devastated if anything were to happen to it!" Tigress says: "And by 'Lady fans', he means his mother and POSSIBLY his younger sister!" Otto says: "Ignore her!" Sniz says: "Noted, moving on!" Squidward says: "Uh, Yakety Yak and I will sit this one out. I want to WATCH how Aang performs!" Aang says: "REALLY?!" (Confessional) Aang, in his own voice says: "It's about TIME somebody realized who the most VALUABLE contestant IS this season! I mean, SERIOUSLY, people!" / Squidward says: "Of course, I'm not watching Aang SOLELY for his performance! I'm just making sure he doesn't get his hands on that Immunity Pendant of Life!" Yakety pops in, and he says: "Speaking of, I just finished making the FAKE one, and I'll hide in a place where Aang can find it! Oh, and I better tell Bulma where I put it so she doesn't pick it up by mistake!" Squidward says: "Good call!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "All right! Everyone else is ready, and since you're swinging across chains, what better way to set the mood than to play Fleetwood Mac's hit song, 'The Chain', from their 1977 mega hit ablum, 'Rumours'. I mean, is there anybody you KNOW of who hasn't at LEAST listened to that album?! Rhetorical question, don't answer it! And, GO!!!!" / During the montage, both the Red Jaguars and the Green Monkeys make good time crossing the chains, while the Blue Barracudas move at a slower pace, and the Silver Snakes keep failing because Aang/Master Coelaceanth CAN'T keep his composure over how GOOD Spongebob is doing! Fleetwood Mac sings: "Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise. Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies. And if you don't love me now, you will never love me again. I can still hear you saying, you would never break the (never break the) chain. And if you don't love me now, you will never love me again. I can still hear you saying, you would never break the (never break the) chain. Listen to the wind blow, down comes the night. Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies. Break the silence, damn the dark, damn the light. And if you don't love me now, you will never love me again. I can still hear you saying, you would never break the (never break the) chain. And if you don't love me now, you will never love me again. I can still hear you saying, you would never break the (never break the) chain. And if you don't love me now, you will never love me again. I can still hear you saying, you would never break the (never break the) chain. (Instrumental Break) Chain, keep us together. Running in the shadows! Chain, keep us together. Running in the shadows! Chain, keep us together. Running in the shadows! Chain, keep us together. Running in the shadows! Chain, keep us together. Running in the shadows!" /

And the montage ends as the Red Jaguars and the Green Monkeys manage to get across first, while the Blue Barracudas and the Silver Snakes eventually finish behind them! Sniz says: "And it's all over! With a set-up that's NOW starting to look PRETTY familiar, the Red Jaguars and the Green Monkeys will be working together, while the Blue Barracudas will once again be paired with the Silver Snakes!" Spongbob asks: "What's the matter, MASTER Coelaceanth, not winning as EASILY as you THOUGHT you would?!" Aang is VISIBLY angry, but STILL speaking in his own voice, he says: "I never SAID it would be EASY to win against YOU!!!!" Sandy says: "Just admit it, you're NOT going to beat him!" Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "Too bad for you I'm not INTERESTED in beating him, NOT anymore! I must THOROUGHLY crush his spirit, and I MUST BREAK YOU, PIECE BY PIECE!!!!" Spongebob is unnerved, but he says: "The more you tighten your grip, the more victories will slip through your fingers." Aang, in his own voice, says: "We shall see!" Yakety goes to Bulma, and whispers something inaudible (to the audience) into her ear. Bulma says: "Thank you for telling me what you DID with it!" Harvey asks: "Did with what?" Bulma coyly says: "Oh, wouldn't YOU like to know?" Fee says: "As a matter of fact, we WOULD!" Bulma says: "Tough luck! I'm NOT on your team, and nobody BESIDES Squidward and Yakety wanted to WORK with me! Besides, I think we all know that YOU'RE not qualified to outlast ME in a competition!" Harvey gasps, and he says: "Not QUALIFIED to outlast YOU in a competition?! We'll just SEE about that!" Snaptrap goes to Aang, and Snaptrap chuckles: "I FIXED it for YOU, AANG!!!! Getting DOWN the Steps of Knowledge will be a BLAST!!!!" Aang smiles evilly, and he says: "Thank you, Snaptrap. YOU shall be spared, when the time comes!" Snaptrap says: "Anything to feel like MY old self again! See, Bulma? You're not the ONLY one who can make new FRIENDS!!!!"

(Confessional) Bulma says: "And once again, Snaptrap behaves EXACTLY in the way I would expect him to! Framing HIM for the mess that's going to go down tonight, will be all too easy! I know where Yakety put the FAKE Pendant, now it's time to find the REAL one!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "We'll take five and come right back, so don't miss the exciting conclusion to this exciting episode, of Total Cartoon Legends!" / (Commercial Break) /

After the commercials end, Bulma approaches Squidward at the Steps Of Knowledge, and she says: "I just want you to know...wait just a minute!" Squidward, not taking his eyes off of Aang, asks: "What?" Bulma says: "Am I missing something, or are YOU missing something? How can you HEAR without any ears?!" Squidward says: "As an octopus, attached to my brain are two organs called statocysts; sac-like structures containing a mineralised mass and sensitive hairs, that allow me to sense the orientation of my body, such as to the proximity and sound of your voice." (Confessional) Bulma says: "Well, mystery solved!" / Squidward says: "I guess even a genius can learn a thing or two. It's rare, but it CAN happen!" (End Confessional) Bulma says: "Anyways..." And she whispers something inaudible (to the audience) to Squidward. Squidward says: "Good to know!" Harvey says: "I sure wish we knew WHAT they were talking about!" Fee says: "I do to. But unless Bulma needs beauty tips or something, I highly doubt WE'LL ever get into her inner circle! Although, from what you've told me, it might not be such a good thing to get into anyways!" Harvey says: "All I know is, I certainly wouldn't!" (Confessional) Harvey says: "It's a simple fact. Snaptrap, Angelica, Oonski, Kaput, Taotie, Gonard, and Zarbon all took turns at being in Bulma's inner circle, and they ALL got horribly eliminated by Bulma, directly or otherwise! At least I know where I stand with Fee! No matter what, we could NEVER vote the other off!" / Fee says: "I could NEVER vote Harvey off; I'm much too smart for THAT! Besides, nobody else in the competition will take US seriously or look out for us, so we HAVE to look out for each other! It's the best way for us to get ahead in this thing!" (End Confessional) The other contestants approach the Steps Of Knowledge, with Aang and Snaptrap BOTH looking like cats that just ate a canary! Daggett sarcastically says: "GEE, they look really TRUSTWORTHY right now!" Heffer obliviously says: "How can you say THAT?! You CLEARLY couldn't trust them as far as you can throw them!" Daggett rolls his eyes, and rhetorically says: "NO! Really, do you think?!"

(Confessional) Daggett says: "Well, this season is officially proving I'm WAY smarter than I have any RIGHT to be! Heffer may not get it, but I get the sense that Aang and Snaptrap have something BIG that they've got planned, and I don't know if I can stop it!" (End Confessional) Daggett says: "Whatever you've got PLANNED, Snaptrap, it's not going to WORK; it's just going to end in DISASTER like all your other 115 failed plans on TUFF Puppy!" Snaptrap sarcastically says: "So you actually KNOW some math, big DEAL! Write me a letter when I care...which will be NEVER!!!!" (Confessional) Daggett says: "Well, I tried!" / Snaptrap says: "Just to make it clear, I'm not cheating for AANG'S sake, I'm doing it for ME!!!! This is what happens when you try to CAGE the beast, the beast gets ANGRY!!!!" / Aang chuckles evilly, and in Master Coelaceanth's voice, he says: "That poor fool Snaptrap doesn't realize, that's he going to be rewarded EXACTLY as a traitor deserves! Once he helps me get rid of everyone else, I'll betray him and get rid of him! After all, how could I possibly trust a TRAITOR to NOT try to betray me eventually? After all, you ALWAYS get EVERYTHING you deserve, and I plan on getting what's coming to ME!!!!" (End Confessional) Gerald asks: "Pearl, what do YOU think of this situation?" Pearl says: "All I know is that something's MAJORLY wrong, and I don't like it!" Larry says: "You DON'T think that they..." Tigress states: "Of COURSE he would! He's Snaptrap! Heffer and Buhdeuce, YOU get to go onto the Steps Of Knowledge!" Heffer asks: "Really?!" Buhdeuce says: "Awesome!"

(Confessional) Tigress says: "It was a matter of self-preservation! And besides, Heffer is EXPENDABLE as the LEAST athletic and LEAST intelligent member of our team, so it's not like we'd actually LOSE a member! As for Buhdeuce? He's been through worse!" / Heffer says: "Right on! I get to prove my intelligence! Ken Jennings, eat your heart out!" / Buhdeuce says: "I know it's a little risky, but I have to prove myself to my team! I've got to show that I can be just as reliable as the rest of them, and this is my chance to prove it! Thankfully, I'm confident in my skills to see me through!" (End Confessional) Zarbon asks: "Dudley, what do YOU think?" Dudley says: "I can't believe I'm saying this, but Tigress has the RIGHT idea!" Sway-Sway says: "Way ahead of you! I will volunteer to go onto the Steps of Knowledge for you!" Chameleon asks: "Wow! You'd do that for us?!" Sway-Sway says: "Of course! If I can get Yakety Yak to help me!" Yakety says: "Well, I'm not doing anything at the moment! Of course I'll help!" (Confessional) Sway-Sway says: "I HAD to volunteer! Hello! Buhdeuce and I...kind of have a reputation due to the show we starred on! We've got to shake it off somehow, and redeem ourselves in the eyes of our fellow Nicktoons! We owe them THAT much!" / Yakety says: "Even though I'm working for Bulma, it doesn't hurt to show commitment to my own team! Perhaps if I do well, I might even become a third wheel to Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce! It's not like my OWN show did that well in the ratings or critic reviews, either!" (End Confessional) Darwin says: "This DOES seem like a particularly tricky situation! What should we do?" Treeflower says: "Getting down first isn't a big importance for us! After all, Spongebob already HAS the Immunity Pendant, and we can't win another! Super Chum and Stimpy, would you volunteer to go on the Steps Of Knowledge for us?" Stimpy asks: "I understand Super Chum, but why ME?!" Treeflower says: "You've got the best luck out of ALL of us! And if something is NOT on the up and up, you're the most likely to escape it unscathed!" Stimpy says: "Sometimes I wonder if my bad luck is just good luck that can't make up its mind!"

(Confessional) Stimpy says: "When I signed on for this season, I expected something nice and easy, like the ORIGINAL Legends Of The Hidden Temple, not some life-preserving affair! I can't believe I'm saying this, but life was actually easier WHEN I was with Ren! At least I knew WHERE I stood with him!" / Super Chum says: "Even if I wasn't volunteered, of course I would step up to the plate! After all, with my super strength, I'd probably have a REALLY great batting average!" (End Confessional) Aang, in his own voice says: "And Snaptrap and I, will volunteer for the Silver Snakes, if anyone is BRAVE enough to try to beat us!" Super Chum says: "Do your WORST, legions of evil! Whatever you throw at us, we will NOT flinch!" Snaptrap angrily says: "Oh, you WON'T, will you?! We'll see about that!" (Confessional) Snaptrap says: "It's time to welcome to the corner of PAY, and BACK!!!! With INTEREST!!!!" / Bulma smiles coyly, and she says: "Look what I just found hidden in plain sight!" Bulma holds up the REAL Silver Snakes Immunity Pendant of Life, and she sings: "The real Immunity Pendant, hidden under the Tiki Statue, LOSERS!!!!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, contestants! Enough chatter, it's time to find out more about today's legend!" General Barracuda says: "Why can't I do it? I know about this legend to!" Sniz says: "Sorry. It's part of Olmec's contract! He ALWAYS has to be the one to talk about these legends!" General Barracuda says: "Sorry! Just thought I'd ask!"

Olmec says: "Sometime in March of 1822, a woman, with the birth name of Araminta Ross, this woman would eventually change her name to Harriet Tubman, after getting married to John Tubman in 1844. Prior to her marriage, Harriet Tubman was sadly and tragically, whipped and beaten by several of her masters, due to slavery still being legal in the Americas. She would often runaway for days as a child, and legend has it, that when it looked like she was in danger of being sold to another owner, Harriet Tubman was determined that she, her family, and all other African-Americans would have their freedom. And on September 17, 1849, Hariet Tubman legendarily broke OUT of her shackles, escaping to Philadelphia, and in the process, established what is now known as the Underground Railroad! Not forgetting her promise, Harriet Tubman personally returned in secret, to help rescue her family, friends, and others bound by slavery! She was even called 'Moses' by her fellow African-Americans, by virtue of the fact that she never lost a passenger. She even worked with the legendary Slavery Abolitionist, Frederick Douglass! During the American Civil War, Harriet Tubman first worked as a cook and a nurse, curing soldiers with Smallpox and Dysentery. Than, she worked as an armed scout and spy. She was the first woman to lead an armed expedition in that war, and in the raid at Combahee Ferry alone, liberated more than 750 enslaved people. Despite the efforts of various slave holders at the time, Harriet Tubman and her fellow conspirators were never caught! Eventually, Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation, effectively declaring all enslaved people free, further enforced by the 1865 passage of the 13th Amendment, officially making all forms of slavery illegal in the United States! Afterwards, Harriet Tubman became a Suffragist for Women's Suffrage, a movement she maintained until she passed away on March 10, 1913. The Broken Shackles became lost to the Mists Of Time, and found their way to the Temple! Your job is to retrieve the Broken Shackles of Harriet Tubman and bring them back to the Temple Entrance!" Sniz says: "Thanks Olmec! Where can the Broken Shackles of Harriet Tubman be found?" Olmec says: "The Broken Shackles can be found in the Dark Forest!"

Sniz says: "All right, contestants, you know the drill! Olmec will ask you questions to see how well you get to the bottom! The first team that gets to the bottom, has a chance to win an Immunity Pendant of Life! The other team will have to try their luck trying to find it during the Final Challenge! And only the two teams that win the Final Challenge, will get to do a Temple Run! Olmec, take it away!" Olmec says: "In what month and year, was Harriet Tubman born?" And Heffer, not realizing that NONE of the other Green Monkeys, Blue Barracudas, and Red Jaguars are deliberately NOT answering, moves to step on the buzzer, and Bubble Bass instinctively says: "BUBBLE UP!!!!" (BOOM!!!!) A gigantic explosion FILLS the air, and Aang, using a combination of fire, water, and earth bending powers, QUICKLY BLASTS down, KNOCKS down, and captures Daggett, Treeflower, Otto, Judy, Gerald, Darwin, Zim, Dog, Kitty, Sway-Sway, Harvey, Keswick, Heffer, Buhdeuce, Taotie, Gonard, Wally, Dudley, Bulma, Fee, Yakety Yak, Squidward, and even BLONDA, in molten lava earth cages in short order, leaving only Spongebob, Sandy, Stimpy, Pearl, Marlene, Larry, Super Chum, Tigress, Po, Zarbon, Chameleon, Jenny, and Bubble Bass to deal with Aang and Snaptrap's wrath! Snaptrap smugly says: "SO, who SAYS cheating doesn't get you a WIN?! We just accomplished in 15 seconds, something that took Bulma Briefs 44 EPISODES to accomplish, the complete and UTTER humiliation of most of the contestants!" Sniz yells: "You can't do THIS!!!! The RULES!!!!" And as Sniz rolls out the rules list, Aang just ZAPS it with fire! Aang, in Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "HANG your rules, I MAKE them! And SPONGEBOB DIES!!!!" Aang, in his own voice says: "DIES?!!! That was NEVER part of our PLAN!!!!" Master Coelaceanth says: "I'm ALTERING the plan! Be thankful I don't alter it any further!" General Barracuda says: "If you think I'm going to let you have your way, you're WRONG! I beat you once, I can BEAT you again!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Too bad for you, I have the Avatar on my side! You have no CHANCE against ME!!!!" General Barracuda charges and says: "Oh, YEAH?!!!"

And with the force of a molten magma punch and a combination of earth and water bending powers, Aang sends General Barracuda FLYING into a prison made of HOT molten magma bars! Aang says: "SO last season! You're going to have to do a LOT better than THAT to challenge me!" Sandy says: "GLADLY!!!!" Sandy, Stimpy, Pearl, Marlene, Larry, and Jenny ALL charge in to DEAL with Aang, but Aang simply moves TOO fast, and hits TOO hard for any of them to actually HIT him, and Aang QUICKLY and effortlessly contains them the same way he contained General Barracuda! General Barracuda regains consciousness, and he says: "Blonda, use your magic wand!" Blonda says: "I'm a CONTESTANT, I'm not ALLOWED to use magic!" General Barracuda says: "I KNOW that, but this is a special one time EXCEPTION!" Blonda grunts, and she says: "I can't REACH my wand! We're STUCK like this!" Aang says: "Starting to SWEAT, Spongebob? Seeing as how I so EASILY thrashed SIX of your friends, without breaking so much as a sweat!" Super Chum angrily says: "Why YOU...!" And Super Chum, Tigress, Po, Zarbon, Chameleon, and Bubble Bass all move to fight Aang! And while they're clearly stronger and faster, they don't do much BETTER, as Aang EASILY stops all of THEIR attacks to! Aang says: "You NEVER should've attacked ME, TIGRESS! Because now that there ARE no rules, I don't have to hold BACK!!!!" And using what amounts to only a FRACTION of his power, Aang knocks out Super Chum, Tigress, Po, Zarbon, Chameleon, and Bubble Bass as well, and locks them all up in molten prison bar containers as well!" Aang says: "Let's see, Earth-bending powers, Fire-bending powers, water-bending powers, with all of MY abilities, I guess I have gotten YOU beat all AROUND! So Spongebob, are you scared, JEALOUS, seeing as how I EASILY and effortlessly BEAT ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS, leaving you SO...ALONE!!!!" Bubble Bass weakly says: "Spongebob, you've got to RUN!!!!"

Aang says: "Run where? He's TRAPPED! And even if he wasn't, I'd find him ANYWHERE he tries to run! Look at EVERYONE'S FAVORITE SPONGE NOW! You STUPID, PATHETIC, WASTE!!!! You've been number one for TOO long, Spongebob! Now your REIGN will FINALLY end! And DON'T worry! I'll take GOOD CARE of your KIDS!!!!" Spongebob says: "Leave my family OUT of this!" Aang says: "And what if I DON'T? What can YOU do about it? I'm STRONGER than you! I'm SICK of what YOUR kind has done to MY world!" Spongebob asks: "What do you mean by, YOUR world?!" Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "Because once upon a time, MY kind owned 99.9% of EVERYTHING of this world! EVERYONE bowed down to us! Nobody told US what to do or how to behave, we could do whatever the HELL we wanted! Until people like YOU started making 'Demands', wanting pathetic things like 'Freedom,' and 'Democracy'. What does our family care? You're powerless, so we pretend to give you these pathetic bread crumbs, and YOU still have the audacity to want more! You think you can make us GIVE you what you ACTUALLY deserve?! NEVER!!!! We will NEVER give up OUR pie, to the likes of you! We are GOING to have the WHOLE PIE, and you're not getting one BITE from us!" Spongebob says: "Aang, please STOP letting Master Coelaceanth CONTROL you! I know you're in there somewhere! You're not LIKE this! Please, look deep in your HEART and let GO of your HATE!" Aang, with red-glowing eyes, steps towards him, and with Master Coelaceanth's voice, condescendingly says: "Oh, Spongebob, you are SO naive! You INSIST on seeing the good in EVERYBODY even when there clearly ISN'T any! Well, it's time to WAKE UP to the REAL WORLD! There IS no Tooth Fairy, there IS no Loch Ness Monster, there IS no 'Chinese Democracy', and there is NO NORTH DAKOTA!!!! This world belongs to the STRONGEST, and you should be THANKFUL we even let YOUR kind live as LONG as we HAVE!!!!" Spongebob says: "PLEASE, STOP THIS!!!! What will it TAKE for you to get you to STOP?!!!" Aang's own voice says: "Say that I'm NOW AND FOREVER a FAR BETTER Nicktoon than you will EVER be!" Spongebob asks: "That's IT?! That's all I have to do to get you to lay OFF?!"

General Barracuda says: "You know, you COULD just take Anger Management--(BLAST!!!!)--Never MIND!!!!" Spongebob sighs, and says: "Fine. You are now and forever a far better Nicktoon than I could EVER be!" Aang says: "Sweet, SWEET Vindication!" He turns to the sky and yells: "SEE THAT DAD?!!! WHO'S THE WEAK MAN NOW?!!!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "THAT'S IT?!!! That's the reason you've been WORKING with me?! You wanted to work with me because YOU had DADDY issues?! You wanted ME to give YOU a cosmetic make-over just because YOU have Daddy issues?! SHEESH! I thought Spongebob made YOU fail your Driver's License Test, or blew up the science lab and got YOU blamed for it! Or at LEAST T.P'd. the Principal's Office and got YOU blamed for it! But NO! It's because YOU have STUPID Daddy issues, DORK! I killed my OWN father for being too aggressive, but you don't see ME having Daddy issues BECAUSE of it!" Aang says: "You don't know what it's LIKE to live the life that I did! I was NEVER allowed to be just a kid! It was always, 'Work, work, work', and never any time for fun, or develop my OWN interests! I never WANTED to be an Avatar ANYWAYS!" Spongebob reaches into his pocket, and pulls out his OLD RELIABLE Net, and begins approaching Aang! Aang says: "When I was young, I really wanted to be--!" (TRIP!!!! FWIP!!!! KONK!!!!) Aang looks at the ground, picks up the net that flew out of Spongebob's hands, and Aang says: "What is THIS?! 'Old RELIABLE'?! Were you going to TRY to capture ME in this NET?! I think I'm going to BREAK IT!!!!" Spongebob SCREAMS: "NO!!!! DON'T BREAK THAT NET!!!! If you break that NET, I WON'T BE ME ANYMORE!!!!" Aang looks touched and in Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "Wow. I am really glad you told me that Spongebob. I COULD'VE made a BIG mistake! Because now I KNOW...THAT I'M DEFINITELY GOING TO BREAK THIS NET!!!!" And Master Coelaceanth sadistically snaps his net in two! Spongebob collapses, and hollowly says: "That...was my net..."

Than Spongebob's voice RISES in anger, and he says: "THAT WAS MY FAVORITE NET!!!! I...WON'T LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THIS!!!! AHHH!!!!" And Spongebob EXPLODES with a level of anger, that BREAKS all of the prisons that Aang has made! Larry asks: "What is going ON here?!" Zarbon, with a horrified expression says: "He's turning SUPER Saiyan! I don't know how, but by merely watching Goku do it, he's figured out how to achieve a similar transformation! I'm certain!" Bulma says: "It's not just Super Saiyan, he's going even beyond that! He's going Super Saiyan 2!!!!" And Bulma is proved correct as lightning aura RIPPLES around Spongebob, and Spongebob's muscles get SUPER tough, and golden HAIR erupts from his head in yellow spikes! Sandy says: "Well, that answers the question of whether or not Spongebob has hair!" Pearl says: "Unreal, how is Spongebob CAPABLE of this power?!" Bubble Bass says: "It's like I said, he's NOT an ordinary Sponge, he's a new evolution, and he's FINALLY found the source of his strength!" Spongebob screams: "AHHH!!!!" And his transformation finishes, and Aang gasps and screams: "AHHH!!!!" Spongebob is now emitting a golden aura, and is making everyone STARE at what the formerly innocent sponge has become! Spongebob angrily says: "It's over, Master Coelaceanth! I WON'T let you BULLY anyone else anymore! I am going to completely and UTTERLY DESTROY YOU!!!!" Master Coelaceanth actually LAUGHS at the prospect, and he says: "Ha, ha, HA!!!! Have you LOST what LITTLE mind you HAD?! You couldn't even BEGIN to BEAT me, let alone actually DESTROY me! I am IN the perfect warrior!" Bulma says: "He's NOT bluffing, Master Coelaceanth! He's 200 times STRONGER than he was in his NORMAL form!" Aang scoffs, and says: "As if that's going to make a bit of DIFFERENCE! Even if Spongebob were 2 QUADRILLION times stronger, it would NEVER be enough to beat us! Spongebob could NEVER defeat us! I'll end this in ONE minute with my Fire-Bending Powers! AHHH!!!!"

And Aang fires a blast of hot energy, but Spongebob MERELY twists his head to the right, and the blast passes RIGHT by Spongebob, hitting Cosmo in the distance! Cosmo coughs, and he says: "I'm okay!" Aang gets angered by this, and he says: "YOU DODGED THAT?! NOBODY DODGES THAT!!!!" AHHH--OOF!!!!" And Spongebob punches Aang HARD right in the stomach! Spongebob says: "Sorry! You left yourself WAY open right there!" Aang says: "Lucky shot! You're NOT going to get ANOTHER ONE!!!! AHHH!!!!" And Aang throws fast and hard, but MISSES! As Spongebob quickly FLASH Steps and AVOIDS all of Aang's fast-paced attacks! Aang says: "Hold still, hold still, hold STILL!!!! CURSES!!!! If I could JUST HIT HIM--!" Spongebob says: "Go ahead, hit me!" Aang asks: "WHAT?!!!" Spongebob says: "I said, hit me." Aang yells: "You're going to wish you weren't so ARROGANT!!!! AHHH!" And Aang throws a rock the SIZE of a pick up truck AT him, but Spongebob takes it HEAD on, and the rock just BREAKS in two, and BOTH halves SLAM into Cosmo! Cosmo says: "I'm STILL OKAY!!!!" Aang starts to get visibly unnerved, and he yells: "What on EARTH ARE YOU?!!! When I get my HANDS on YOU, I will--OOF!!!!" And Spongebob punches Aang HARD in the stomach AGAIN!!!! Master Coelaceanth's voice, in a sick tone, says: "YOU...only hit us TWICE so FAR!!!! So, WHY DO I FEEL SO WEAK?!!!" Spongebob angrily says: "What's the MATTER, Master Coelaceanth?! Isn't THIS what you WANTED?! To utterly BREAK who I WAS?! Did it ever occur to you that maybe I was being willfully WEAK, because I didn't want to show up ALL my FRIENDS and FANS, and let them ADMIRE me for being a nice, FRIENDLY guy, and not some scary, hulking PSYCHOPATH like YOU?!!! I told you to stop, I WARNED you to STOP, but you just HAD to push me! And now that you've found someone who can and WILL push back, NOW you're AFRAID, because you KNOW that I'm going to DESTROY YOU!!!!" Aang, in his own voice, screams: "LIKE I'D EVER LOSE TO YOU!!!! Now you've FORCED me to show OFF the strength I was going to hold back for when I dealt with TIGRESS! NOTHING can STOP it!" Taotie asks: "Does he HAVE more strength?"

Tigress scoffs and she says: "Impossible! If Aang HAD more strength, I WOULD know about it! Aang is bluffing!!!!" But to her surprise, Aang digs in DEEP into Master Coelaceanth's soul, and FORCES himself to SICKENINGLY boost his own muscle mass and power, while SCREAMING all the while! Tigress says: "Well, there blows THAT theory out of the water!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Your anger has made US evenly MATCHED Spongebob, but now you're HELPLESS!!!!" Spongebob merely scoffs, and he says: "Is that ALL?" Sandy asks: "What is he SAYING?!" Pearl says: "I think whatever restraint Spongebob HAD, it must have been broken when his own net got broken! He's not his old Spongebob self anymore!" Bubble Bass nods, and he says: "Your right, sister. And I DON'T think that's a GOOD thing!" Aang LUNGES for Spongebob, but Spongebob EASILY moves away like Aang was moving in SLOW motion! Aang says: "What the?!" Spongebob says: "Come and GET me, you MORON!!!!" Try as Aang might, Aang keeps TRYING to hit Spongebob, or TRYING to blast him, but Spongebob KEEPS speeding out of the way, every time Aang tries to attack Spongebob! Aang mockingly says: "Run, run, run, that's ALL you can do, you COWARD!!!!" Spongebob says: "I think you're missing the STRAIN that it's putting on your own body, and Master Coelaceanth!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "Finish him OFF!!!! My spirit is WEAKENING! I can't keep this up for much longer!" Aang yells: "But I can't HIT HIM!!!!" Spongebob says: "Maybe not, but I can hit YOU!!!!" And in a rapid series of punches and kicks, Spongebob brings even the mighty Aang to his needs, and Aang is FORCED to revert back to his normal mass! Aang weakly asks: "Why couldn't I HIT you?! I was STRONGER than YOU!" Spongebob says: "You idiot! Increasing your muscle mass does NOTHING! Any IDIOT in body-building can do that! All it does is slow you DOWN, and make you an easier target! Now, I'm going to DESTROY you!" Aang says: "But you CAN'T do that! You're just a SPONGE!!!!" Spongebob angrily says: "I can do WHATEVER I please! I'm STRONGER than you are!"

Master Coelaceanth laughs evilly, and he says: "Yes, KILL US!!!! STRIKE us down with ALL OF YOUR HATRED, and you will FINALLY PROVE MY POINT, that EVERYONE IS JUST LIKE ME!!!!" Aang yells: "KILL US?! That was NEVER part of the plan! I'm not gonna--!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You don't WANT to?! You MUST! You DON'T care about ANYTHING! You've gone too far, too far to STOP! YOU CAN'T STOP!!!! YOU'RE BEYOND IT!!!!" Bubble Bass yells: "Spongebob, STOP!" Squidward asks: "What is Bubble Bass SAYING?!" Spongebob says: "This doesn't CONCERN you! It concerns ME, and this soon to be DEAD son of a female dog!" Bubble Bass says: "But that's what Master Coelaceanth WANTS!!!! He wants you to make him a martyr in the proof that he COULD corrupt even the BEST of us! You can't play his GAME!!!!" Spongebob says: "I'm NOT playing it, I'm FINISHING it!" Bubble Bass says: "Yeah, but THAN what?! With Master Coelaceanth gone, what would you do with your anger and strength? Hurt ANYONE who's made YOU feel bad the way Master Coelaceanth must have been hurt in his life?! Master Coelaceanth IS a villain, but he's ALSO a victim! And if you kill him, you'll just continue the same cycle of HATE! You don't have to continue that cycle, you can choose LOVE and forgiveness!" Spongebob says: "He broke my favorite net! I CAN'T let him LIVE!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Nets can be FIXED! Nets can be replaced! But what can NEVER be fixed, is if you make the WORST mistake of your life, and you don't choose LOVE!" Spongebob asks: "And what would YOU know about that?!" Bubble Bass says: "Because...I love YOU, Spongebob!" And all the other contestants stare at him! Bubble Bass says: "Look at you! This is where the path of HATRED has brought you! Loving and forgiving you is the path I choose, what will YOURS be?!"

Spongebob looks at Aang, and he looks at everyone else, and suddenly, daylight comes into the studio, and shines on Spongebob, and Spongebob lowers his arms! Spongebob says: "Bubble Bass, thank you for bringing some sense back into me. Both of us came here with anger in our hearts, but you come with courage and forgiveness." Spongebob powers down, and he says: "From this day forward, if there is to be MORE evil, it will NOT start with me! General Barracuda, ARREST Master Coelaceanth and take him away!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Oh, yeah?! Well, I haven't changed MY mind!" Aang jerks back and defiantly says: "NO!!!!" Master Coelaceanth says: "WHAT?!!!" Aang says: "He's letting us LIVE!" Snaptrap says: "He doesn't WANT to fight!" Master Coelaceanth says: "It's a TRICK, don't you see?! KILL HIM!!!!" But even Taotie joins Snaptrap in defiance! Aang begins to raise his arm, but immediately jerks it back! Master Coelaceanth screams: "What are you DOING?!!!" Aang says: "I...I...I believe Spongebob!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "No, you CAN'T!!!! DON'T DO IT!!!! STOP!!!! YOU DON'T CARE!!!! HE DOESN'T CARE!!!! STOP!!!! Don't FIGHT ME!!!!" Dudley says: "Chameleon, transform, NOW!!!!" Chameleon says: "I'm on it!" Master Coelaceanth says: "If you WON'T help me, I'll KILL HIM MYSELF!!!! CHANGE, NOW!!!!" And Master Coelaceanth EJECTS himself out of Aang's body, and HEADS towards Sandy Cheeks, but Chameleon jumps in between the two, and transforms into a SOUL DESTROYING DEVICE! Master Coelaceanth screams: "AHHH!!!!" And Master Coelaceanth's soul GRABS onto the edge of the vial part of Chameleon's transformation! Spongebob says: "Please, HOLD on!" Sandy says: "Spongebob, what are you THINKING?!" Spongebob says: "You both were right! I can't FORCE someone to LIKE me, but I CAN offer them forgiveness, even if they don't DESERVE it!"

Bubble Bass says: "I think he HAS to try!" Spongebob climbs onto the chain pulley system, and he reaches for Master Coelaceanth's soul! Spongebob says: "Please, Master Coelaceanth! Give me your hand!" Master Coelaceanth SWIPES at Spongebob, and slips towards the soul destroying formula in Chameleon's vial! Spongebob says: "PLEASE! If you FALL into that, you're GONE forever! You don't have to LIVE with your HATE! PLEASE! Let me HELP you! I FORGIVE YOU! It's time to put the past behind us!" Master Coelaceanth says: "I'll NEVER LET IT GO!!!! I would rather SUFFER the LOSS of EVERYTHING I've held on this Earthly realm, than let YOU prove some kind of point to me!" Spongebob says: "It's not some EGO thing! Just let me HELP YOU!!!!" Than Master Coelaceanth smiles cruelly, and he says: "NO!!!! NEVER!!!! (SLIP!!!!) AHHH!!!!" And Master Coelaceanth WILLFULLY lets go of the vial's edge, and FALLS into the Soul Destroying formula, laughing and smiling sadistically all the way, as his soul is UTTERLY destroyed out of existence!!!! Spongebob sadly says: "I'm sorry, Sandy. I tried." Sandy says: "What a poor, pitiful man. Without a righteous heart and a rightful mind, he could not begin to comprehend the THOUGHT of being able to share a wonderful world with anyone else." Spongebob says: "I just can't believe the thought that Master Coelaceanth would actually choose to HATE, rather than LIVE." Pearl says: "Well, I don't think ANYBODY could've forced him to change. The simple fact is, Master Coelaceanth couldn't let go of his hate. And in the end, that's what destroyed him!" Chameleon says: "Of course, falling into me as a Soul Destroying Device certainly helped!" Sniz comes out of hiding, and he asks: "Is he gone for good?" Spongebob says: "I didn't WANT him to die; I really didn't! He just wouldn't let me help him!" Sniz says: "Did you hear that?! Let the joyous news be spread, the Wicked Old Witch at last is dead!!!!" And nearly everyone cheers in unison, and breaks out into an improptu sing-a-long of "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead!" /

Everyone (except Aang and Snaptrap) sings: "Ding-dong! The Witch is dead! Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding-dong! The Wicked Witch is dead! Wake up you sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed! Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead! He's gone where the goblins go below; below, below, yo-ho, let's open up and sing! And ring the bells out! Ding-dong, the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low; let them know the Wicked Witch is dead!" (Trumpets blare!) Sniz sings: "As host of Total Cartoon Legends in the county of Los Angeles in California, I welcome you most regally!" General Barracuda sings: "But we've got to verify it LEGALLY, to see!" Sniz sings: "To see!" General Barracuda sings: "If he!" Sniz sings: "If he!" General Barracuda sings: "Is morally, ethically!" Larry sings: "Spiritually, physically!" Pearl sings: "Positively, absolutely!" All of them sing: "Undeniably, and reliably dead!" Gordon Quid comes forth dressed as a Coroner, and he unfurls a Certificate of Death! Gordon sings: "As Coroner, I must affirm, I thouroughly examined it; and he's not only merely dead, he's really most SINCERELY DEAD!" Sniz sings: "Than this is a day of Independence! For ALL the Nicktoons, and their descendants!" General Barracuda says: "If any!" Sniz sings: "Than let the joyous news be spread! The Wicked Old Witch at last is DEAD!" Everyone (except Aang and Snaptrap) sings: "Ding-dong, the witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch! Ding-dong the wicked witch is dead! Wake up you sleepyhead! Rub your eyes, get out of bed! Wake up the wicked witch is dead! He's gone where the goblins go below; below, below, yo-ho, let's open up and sing! And ring the bells out! Ding Dong, the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low, let them know the Wicked Witch is dead!"

Aang recovers, and he says: "I am SO sorry, Spongebob, I let my hatred and passion for revenge, cloud my judgment. I thought if I worked with Master Coelaceanth, I could finally get the revenge and justice that I wanted! But now I know, getting revenge is a price that I just can't pay. Nobody could possibly pay that price! I am SORRY for everything I've done!" Sniz says: "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid, 'Sorry' isn't enough this time; you broke the rules!" Aang says: "But I BURNED the rules!" Spongebob says: "That wasn't the RULES list, that was a COPY of the Rules List!" Sniz says: "Exactly! You don't think I would pull out the ACTUAL Rules List and let someone destroy it? And F.Y.I., burning a copy of the Rules List is against the rules! Aang, the crimes you committed while Master Coelaceanth possessed your body, are probably worthy of death! However, in light of Spongebob's show of forgiveness, I realize that would make us no better than you. Therefore, you are to be permanently ejected and eliminated from the show immediately! You will not be allowed to return to this show as a contestant, intern, or in any other shape or form. No one on this show is to show you any kindness or acknowledge that you exist. You will not have a FRIEND in the world!" Aang says: "WAIT! You can't eliminate me! I just found an Immunity Pendant of Life!" Bulma says: "BINGO!" Sniz looks at it carefully, than THROWS it at Snaptrap and yells: "NICE TRY, LAME-O, but that's NOT General Barracuda's CARVING!!!!" Snaptrap asks: "WHAT?! You think I did THAT?!" Sniz says: "Come on! It's clearly YOUR craft work, who else could it be?!" Snaptrap struggles, and he says: "Bulma, Bulma did it!" Bulma says: "Sorry, but I have an air-tight alibi. I couldn't have POSSIBLY carved a FAKE Pendant! I was too busy focusing on the competition, AND finding the REAL Immunity Pendant of Life!" And Bulma pulls it out, causing Aang to gasp!

General Barracuda says: "This one is the real deal, and her story checks out. And since BULMA didn't do it, that means that Snaptrap, YOU'RE going to be ejected and eliminated from the show as well!" Snaptrap nervously says: "Very well! I just hope that you'll bare me no ill will for anything that I've done this season or in the past!" Sniz says: "Of course I don't, that's because you're going to be banished and spend the foreseeable future permanently linked with Aang, in CHAINS!!!!" And Aang and Snaptrap are chained together, and Snaptrap, with a hopeful mourn in his voice, says: "Well, at least we'll still have each other!" Aang gets a horrified look, and raises his hands, but Blonda QUICKLY raises her wand, and ZAPS away all of Aang's Avatar abilities! Snaptrap screams: "YOU TRIED TO KILL ME?! PLEASE! Don't BANISH me with HIM! PLEASE! Send me BACK to San Quintan Prison!" Sniz coyly says: "But I bare you no ill will!" And Snaptrap looks in helplessness, as he realizes that he played RIGHT into Bulma's hands, and ensured his OWN elimination, yet again! (Confessional) Bulma says: "FINALLY! Master Coelaceanth is GONE for good! I am so glad he is out of our lives! Now we can focus on the competition!" / Yakety says: "Due to the explosion earlier, the inside of the Temple is kind of a mess; so Sniz decided to scrub today's challenge. Besides, we've already got TWO losers being eliminated tonight!" / Spongebob says: "So, I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I can get angry, I can get mad, I can even get downright furious. But one thing I won't do, is that I will NEVER stoop to Master Coelaceanth's level of wrath and hatred! Also, even though that form I transformed into was strong and fast, I don't think I'll transform into it again, barring ANY emergencies! As far as I'm concerned, it's TOO awesome to use!" / Zarbon says: "One thing is for sure; with Master Coelaceanth gone, nothing's the same anymore." (End Confessional)

Everyone is at the Elimination Ceremony, and everyone except Aang and Snaptrap have a Chocolate Pendant of Life. Sniz says: "Before we commence with the Elimination, I just want to hold an 'In Memoriam' segment to Master Coelaceanth, mostly to prove to EVERYONE that THIS time, he's really gone for good!" / An "In Memoriam' segment plays and it shows Master Coelaceanth's actions between seasons 2 through 4B of the "Total Cartoon" show, while Bob Dylan's "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right" plays! /
Bob Dylan sings: "Well, it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe. If'n you don't know by now. And it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe. It'll never do somehow. When your rooster crows at the break of dawn, look out your window, and I'll be gone. You're the reason I'm a-traveling on. But don't think twice, it's all right. And it ain't no use in turning on your light, babe. The light I never knowed. And it ain't no use in turning on your light, babe, I'm on the dark side of the road. But I wish there was somethin' you would do or say, to try and make me change my mind and stay. But we never did too much talking anyway. But don't think twice, it's all right. So it ain't no use in calling out my name, gal. Like you never done before. And it ain't no use in calling out my name, gal. I can't hear you any more. I'm a-thinking and a-wonderin', walking down the road. I once loved a woman, a child I am told. I give her my heart but she wanted my soul. But don't think twice, it's all right. So long honey, baby. Where I'm bound, I can't tell. Goodbye's too good a word, babe. So I'll just say fare thee well. I ain't a-saying you treated me unkind. You could have done better but I don't mind. You just kinda wasted my precious time. But don't think twice, it's all right." And the words, "Master Coelaceanth: August 6, 1945 through June 1, 2022" appear on-screen, ending the "In Memoriam" sequence! /

Aang and Snaptrap, still hand-cuffed together, put on their helmets, and Snaptrap says: "Uh, you can't eliminate TWO contestants from the SAME team at one TIME!" Sniz says: "Ordinarily, we WOULDN'T, but in this case, we can make an exception! Besides, I've got a plan to bolster their numbers!" General Barracuda says: "Tell it like it is, Sniz!" Aang says: "I guess it's too late to say that MAYBE I over-reacted a LITTLE to Tigress' insults about me, RIGHT?!" Sniz says: "Oh, it's much too late for THAT!" Aang sighs and says: "I was afraid so!" Aang and Snaptrap both get into the Mine Cart of Shame, buckle up, and Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Three, Two, One, BLAST-OFF!!!!" And the Mine Cart rockets down the rail way, and through the Mine Shaft of Losers! General Barracuda says: "So, what is your plan?" Sniz says: "Simple! I'll need a volunteer from BOTH the Red Jaguars and the Blue Barracudas!" Tigress KICKS Heffer, and he jumps up! Sniz says: "Thank you for volunteering for the Red Jaguars, Heffer!" Yakety says: "I'll volunteer for the Blue Barracudas!" Sniz says: "All right! In that case, from this challenge on, the two of you are no longer a Red Jaguar and a Blue Barracuda respectively, you are BOTH Silver Snakes! But remember, Silver Snakes, I intend for this to be a one time MERCY gift to your team! So I really hope you can make the MOST of this gift, and pull your team together, for your own sake!" Bulma says: "Oh, don't worry! I'm SURE to find PLENTY of good uses for Yakety Yak on OUR team!" Yakety thinks about it, and he says: "What the heck? I'll give it a shot! It would be something different!" Sniz says: "All right, than! Well, we've got to fix things up in the Temple, the Moat, and the Steps of Knowledge! Maybe we didn't get to find the Legend like I planned, but I think we still had a great episode anyways! Now that Master Coelaceanth is gone for good, how will the rest of the season progress? It's anyone's guess as to how the challenges will unfold! In any case, tune in for the next episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "Be sure to stick around for it!" /

Stinger: Somewhere, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, the portal opens, and Aang and Snaptrap, still in a mine cart, land RIGHT in the middle of it, and they can't see ANY land within miles of their vantage point! Snaptrap asks: "Where on EARTH did that portal take us?!" Aang says: "Well, if I know my Earth geography, and I do, it looks like we're located a full 160 nautical miles away from Pitcairn Island, one of the most REMOTE and least inhabited places on Earth! And no, there isn't anywhere that's CLOSER, the other nearest place is 175 nautical miles away!" Snaptrap sarcastically says: "That's just GREAT! Not only have we been EJECTED and UNFAIRLY eliminated from the competition, but we've been STRANDED in the MIDDLE of the Pacific Ocean with NO gadgets, NO access to your Avatar powers, handcuffed together, and without anything that we can SAFELY drink!" Snaptrap thinks for a second, and he says: "Want to see me tempt fate? COULD THIS DAY GET ANY--!!" (THUNDERCLAP!!!!) And a deluge of RAIN falls on them! Aang sarcastically says: "I'm sorry. Were you going to say, 'Worse'?" Snaptrap sheepishly says: "Uh, no. No, I was not." Aang asks: "Really?" Snaptrap says: "Yeah...uh...re-phrasing! Let's...look at the bright side! We now have PLENTY to drink, and we STILL have a mine cart boat!" Aang says: "Right! We now have PLENTY to drink, and we STILL have a mine cart boat!" /

Episode Notes: Aang and Snaptrap become the second and third contestants respectively (after Angelica Pickles) to be permanently ejected from ever being a contestant on the "Total Cartoon" show. Master Coelaceanth dies for good in this episode, as his soul is permanently destroyed, and a "Really Dead" montage plays at the Elimination Ceremony, just to drive the point home! Even though Spongebob can access a Super Saiyan 2 form, he decides that he will not use it again unless there is an emergency. Heffer and Yakety Yak become Silver Snakes in this episode, as a mercy gift to the Silver Snakes. Featured songs in this episode: "Chains of Love; The Chain; Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead!"; and "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right". Eliminated Contestants: 44. Kowalski. 43. Private. 42. Kaput. 41. Johnny Krill. 40. Haggis McHaggis. 39. Monster Krumholtz. 38. Aang. 37. Verminious J. Snaptrap. Remaining Contestants: Daggett Beaver, Silver Snakes. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Judy Funny, Red Jaguars. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Darwin, Green Monkeys. Invader Zim, Silver Snakes. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Green Monkeys. Kitty Katswell, Silver Snakes. Sway-Sway, Blue Barracudas. Harvey Beaks, Blue Barracudas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Heffer Wolfe, Silver Snakes. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Blonda, Silver Snakes. Taotie, Silver Snakes. Tigress, Red Jaguars. Gonard, Blue Barracudas. Po, Green Monkeys. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Blue Barracudas. Zarbon, Blue Barracudas. Bulma Briefs, Silver Snakes. Chameleon, Blue Barracudas. Fee, Blue Barracudas. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Blue Barracudas. Yakety Yak, Silver Snakes. Squidward Tentacles, Blue Barracudas. /

Personal Notes: Even though Master Coelaceanth was a pretty compelling villain for Spongebob to face off against, the fact of the matter is, is that I felt like Master Coelaceanth had become too much of a crutch character for me, and that I would just use him as a villain because he was convenient. But if I am to grow and evolve as a writer, I can't just keep using the same villain over and over again. Besides, I could only MAKE Master Coelaceanth so evil and vile without him evolving into a parody of himself. I felt like I had taken Master Coelaceanth's evil as far as it could go, and him choosing to die rather than be saved, was his FINAL, spiteful way of forever denying Spongebob the chance to help him, and ADMIT that Master Coelaceanth was wrong! As for Aang, he had to learn that despite being a victim of Master Coelaceanth, he was NOT going to be easily forgiven, because he willfully ALLOWED Master Coelaceanth into his body, could've FOUGHT him out at ANYTIME, and Aang never DID! And Snaptrap's own inability to prevent himself from cheating is what ultimately did him in, as Snaptrap discovers that when you cheat all the time, it's very HARD to convince someone that when someone ELSE cheated, that YOU aren't the one who didn't do it, because nobody will believe a lying cheater, EVEN when they're telling the truth, which is why HE had to be eliminated to! Anyways, hopefully, my next episode won't be quite so long! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

Since I want to make sure everyone is up to date on what I've done on "Total Cartoon Legends" so far, I'm going to re-run the most two recent episodes that I have finished, starting with the least recent one. I hope you enjoy this one! /

Sniz is standing on the re-built and re-furbished Steps Of Knowledge, and he says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Legends, there were 38 contestants left. Bubble Bass helped Spongebob discover something that Spongebob didn't even know about himself. Spongebob had been absorbing negative emotions all his life, and they were now starting to affect his personality! With Sandy's help, they were determined to help Spongebob manage his emotions more properly. Meanwhile, Bulma, in a state of desperation, decided that the only way to get Aang and Snaptrap out of the game, was for her to team up with Squidward and Yakety, and play a game of spying and subterfuge respectively! Sure enough, during the competition, Aang and Snaptrap TRIED to eliminate the middlemen, and go STRAIGHT for the unspeakable, trying to KILL Spongebob! But when Aang, being possessed by Master Coelaceanth, decided to BREAK Spongebob's favorite net, that's when all sense of Spongebob's self-restraint broke loose, and he LITERALLY transformed into a Super Saiyan 2! Is there no end to Spongebob's hidden surprises? Thankfully, Bubble Bass prevented Spongebob from killing Aang, by declaring that Bubble Bass, LOVED Spongebob! I would NEVER have saw THAT coming! Ultimately, Master Coelaceanth was FINALLY done in for good, when Master Coelaceanth decided to eject himself from Aang, and accidentally wound up projecting himself into one of Chameleon's transformations, a SOUL Destroying Device! To everyone's shock, Master Coelaceanth decided to commit a spiteful suicide, RATHER than accept help from Spongebob! So much for the evil fish! For the crimes they committed, Aang and Snaptrap were both eliminated via ejection, and booted from the game together. Now there are only 36 contestants left. Master Coelaceanth may be gone, but the other contestants will still have to face off against each other, as two more contestants will have to face elimination by the end of today!"

Olmec says: "And in my re-built and re-furbished state, I'm ready to face anything!" Sniz says: "Tell it like it is, Olmec, see what happens today, on Total Cartoon Legends!" / Instead of the normal show open, a sepia-toned comic book slideshow shows an illustrated version of Spongebob's fight with Master Coelaceanth, set to Jim Croce's "You Don't Mess Around With Jim". / Jim Croce sings: "Uptown got its hustlers, the bowery got its bums. 42nd Street got Big Jim Walker, he's a pool-shootin' son of a gun. Yeah, he big and dumb as a man can come, but he stronger than a country horse! And when the bad folks all get together at night, you know they all call big Jim 'Boss', just because! And they say, 'You don't tug on Superman's cape; you don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger, and you don't mess around with Jim!' Well outta south Alabama come a country boy, he said, 'I'm lookin' for a man named Jim, I am a pool-shootin' boy, my name's Willie McCoy, but down at home they call me Slim. Yeah, I'm lookin' for the king of 42nd Street, he drivin' a drop top Cadillac. Last week he took all my money, and it may sound funny, but I come to get my money back!' And everybody say, 'Hey Jack; don't you know you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger, and you don't mess around with Jim!' Well, a hush fell over the pool room. Jimmy come boppin' in off the street, and when the cuttin' was done, the only part that wasn't bloody, was the soles of the big man's feet, ooh. And he was cut in about a hundred places, and he was shot in a couple more; and you better believe they sung a different kind of story when big Jim hit the floor now. They say you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger and you don't mess around with Slim! Yeah, big Jim got his hat, find out where it's at! And it's not hustlin' people strange to you, even if you do got a two-piece custom-made pool cue. Yeah you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger, and you don't mess around with Slim!" / And the epic song and montage ends! / "The Legend Of The Golden Fleece!" /

Blonda is in her trailer, and she's waiting for someone to come in. There's a knock on her door, and she asks: "Is that my HUSBAND?" Bubble Bass says: "Yes, but I don't see why--." Blonda yells: "Come in!" Bubble Bass quickly does so. Blonda sits on her bed and PRETENDS to think for a few seconds. Finally, Blonda says: "Bubble Bass, I consider myself a REASONABLE woman! You DO understand that I could've picked ANYBODY to be my husband and a father to OUR child; but I picked you. Do you want to know why that is?" Bubble Bass answers: "Because of my interesting personality?" Blonda says: "Interesting answer, but no! We BOTH know WHY I picked you! Furthermore, I thought you had it where it REALLY counts! That your mind would never wander, and that you would ALWAYS be devoted to me!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, that's a funny thing to say, because you sure DON'T seem to be devoted to me! The only thing YOU can say is that you're MARRIED to me!" Blonda says: "And I gave up my immortality to YOU! Doesn't that MEAN something?!" Bubble Bass says: "Of COURSE it means something! But you got to admit, it does seem strange that you WON'T let me LIVE with you, and you don't WANT our son to let him know that I AM his father! So honestly, what am I supposed to MAKE of that?! You want ME to be loyal to you, yet you expect to believe that I'll just accept the same thing from YOU, when I don't even get to LIVE with you?! Who's being more unfaithful?!" Blonda scornfully says: "I haven't dated ONE other guy since I married you!" Bubble Bass asks: "Than why do you sound so full of resentment just now?! I can read emotions to, you know! I don't know WHY you're so upset! All I did was said that 'I love Spongebob', one time. ONE TIME!!!!" Blonda asks: "And how COULD you love him?! What has he EVER done for YOU?!" Bubble Bass answers: "Besides saving us ALL from Master Coelaceanth's wrath? And you know, he might not have DONE that if I hadn't hugged him!" Blonda asks: "You HUGGED him?!"

Bubble Bass says: "It's not what it SOUNDS like! Spongebob needed to understand his emotions, and hugging his emotions into a Bubblebob copy--." Blonda asks: "Did YOU make a Bubblebob copy?!" Bubble Bass blushes, and sheepishly says: "Okay. I can understand how when taken out of context, it seems rather...awkward." Blonda haughtily says: "I'm SURE you have a good explanation for that!" Bubble Bass says: "I just wanted to help him. You know, be the good guy." Blonda asks: "And what do you know, about being a good guy?" Bubble Bass says: "Before this season, I thought I knew a lot. But, what I've learned recently, there is a difference between wanting and THINKING that you're a good guy, and actually being one! And...when I hugged Spongebob, it's like I FINALLY understood what that difference was! More important than your actions or your reasons, the reason why you SHOULD be good, is that Good FEELS good!" Blonda asks: "And you got that from ONE hug with Spongebob, as opposed to more than nine months with ME?!" Bubble Bass says: "What do you MEAN, 'Nine months with you?' You wouldn't even go out in PUBLIC or LET anybody SEE you during those nine months! It's like you were ASHAMED to be my wife, or be an expectant mother!" Blonda says: "Did you WANT me to be HUMILIATED by every single tabloid paper in the country?! Let alone, the world?!" Bubble Bass says: "Come on! As a celebrity, surely you've been through worse!" Blonda honestly says: "Perhaps. But, I don't think anything has cut me more than what you've just admitted!" Bubble Bass says: "I'm not even sure what that means! You don't think that I WOULD leave you for Spongebob, do you?" Blonda says: "He's more famous than me, and you KNOW it!" Bubble Bass says: "I don't LIKE him because of his fame, or his money! When I LIKE somebody, I like them BECAUSE of their personality!"

Blonda asks: "What is THAT supposed to mean?!" Bubble Bass says: "I didn't mean ANYTHING by that! It's just that...until recently, I thought I had Spongebob all figured out; that he was an immature, naive, potentially incompetant man-child who knew only how to be happy and annoying. But now that I've seen that he HAS other emotions, and he's not as simple as I once thought, it's made me re-think everything about him!" Blonda asks: "And what DO you think about him?" Bubble Bass honestly says: "I...I'm not sure. All I know is, Sandy didn't know how to help him, and I did! Spongebob never had a REASON to grow up and mature before I helped him; and now, he's finally starting to do that! That's a really big DEAL for him! He could USE some help to get him adjusted to handling his emotions properly, and I think I can do that!" Blonda asks: "And do you WANT to do that?" Bubble Bass says: "Spongebob was willing to help Master Coelaceanth, even after everything he did. What kind of man would I be if I didn't exchange the same courtesy to him?" Blonda says: "I'm NOT going to answer that!" Bubble Bass says: "I wasn't expecting you to." Blonda says: "And I suppose nothing I can say will change your mind about that, can I?" Bubble Bass says: "That depends. What are you THINKING of saying?! Because I think I have a RIGHT to know before I make any other decisions!" Blonda sighs, and says: "The old 'Appeal to Logic' play. SO typical of you! And yet I can't help but LOVE you for that! FINE! Help...Spongebob deal with his emotions if you must!" Bubble Bass says: "Thank you, Blonda! I KNEW you'd see the logical side of this!" Blonda says: "But just remember, I don't expect this to be a PERMANENT thing! Once Spongebob has gained proper control over every single conceivable emotion...!" Bubble Bass asks: "What?" Blonda REALIZES she hadn't yet THOUGHT about what she could over Bubble Bass, and she struggles, and says: "If you do that and come back to me...I'll...let Rube Goldfish know you're his father!" Bubble Bass says: "Thanks, Blonda. That's all I wanted." Blonda says: "Yeah, I'm a REAL peach and CATCH, aren't I?!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh, I SEE what you did there!"

(Confessional) Blonda says: "I'm...not used to feeling ACTUAL emotions! When I was an immortal fairy, it didn't matter HOW I felt or how I behaved! Mostly because I knew that if I did ANYTHING that wasn't considered proper behavior, it would ALL be forgotten about eventually! But now that I have a finite life-span and I have to actually CONSIDER my actions and emotions, everything has gotten more...complicated! I'm not USED to sharing! It's a REALLY foreign concept to me! But; I don't want to end up like Snaptrap and Kaput! I want to be in this for the LONG haul! It looks like Spongebob isn't the ONLY one who needs to understand and handle their emotions! But if Bubble Bass is going to help Spongebob, who is supposed to help ME?! I...didn't mean to make it come sounding off THAT way! I'm...still getting used to this whole 'Emotion' thing." / Bubble Bass says: "Seeing as how I already won last season, my biggest challenge for this season was trying to find a purpose for competing in this one. I just never thought that would come from wanting to help Spongebob! And being around him, it's made me realize that I actually CARE about whether or not he lives or dies! I guess...maybe that's what I meant when I said that 'I love him'. I don't think he's fragile and weak...at least, not anymore. I just...feel like I'm the right guy who can help him. I guess this is what some people would call the 'Good Samaritan' syndrome, even though I HARDLY think that's a BAD thing to be!" (End Confessional)

Meanwhile, Spongebob and Sandy are in their hotel room. Sandy asks: "Spongebob, I have to ask, what do you think Bubble Bass meant when he said, 'I love you'?" Spongebob sighs, and he says: "Sandy, I honestly don't know. Until recently, I was trying to go through life the same way I always had. Just a happy, simple, carefree sponge who never had to worry about everything. But now, finding out that I have other emotions that I will sometimes NEED to express, and be able to handle such situations in a proper manner, I realize that I can't go back to being the sponge that so many others took advantage of. I'm not saying I'm going to stop caring for you OR the kids! I could NEVER do that; I just need to be able to assess things properly!" Sandy says: "Wow, Spongebob! You really have changed!" Spongebob says: "Sometimes, change is neccessary. And...I don't know how I feel about Bubble Bass loving me. You...don't think it's a bad thing, do you?" Sandy says: "Of course I don't! As long as it's a healthy love! Do you think it's healthy?" Spongebob says: "From what I know about Bubble Bass, he's always been logical, practical, and pragmatic. And generally speaking, he's a pretty good judge on the whole 'Risk to Reward' Ratio; and even if it doesn't always pan out, he at least always make sure to follow through to it's proper conclusion. Besides, his love for me doesn't change my love for you. I think we should give Bubble Bass a chance." Outside the door, Bubble Bass asks: "You really want to give me a chance?!" Sandy says: "It's just like 'Beetlejuice', we said his name one too many times!" Spongebob says: "Or it's just synchronicity! I'm a really big believer in that! You can come in!" Bubble Bass does so, and Sandy asks: "How long have you been out there?" Bubble Bass says: "The first thing I heard, was you responding to Spongebob about how he felt about what I said the other day." Sandy says: "Well, you got to admit, it seems kind of a strange thing to say, given the situation between us, and you with Blonda." Bubble Bass says: "Well, Blonda won't be a problem. She's letting me teach Spongebob how to handle his emotions properly, until he can master that on his own." Sandy asks: "What do you mean by, 'Letting you'? You had to get PERMISSION from her?!"

Bubble Bass says: "She's my wife! What was I SUPPOSED to do?! NOT run it by her?! That would be wrong!" Spongebob says: "He DOES have a point, Sandy!" Sandy says: "Fair enough. But, I have to know; what did you mean, when you said that, 'You love Spongebob'?" Bubble Bass says: "Well, I needed to remind him, that no matter how he may feel at any given moment, he's not the only one who's ever felt that way. Others have felt that way to. Possibly...there were moments in the past were I felt confused and alone, and I didn't have someone like me to help me process those feelings. I didn't want Spongebob to have to go through that alone the way I did. I...didn't mean to come between you and Spongebob." Sandy, after giving it some thought, says: "Well, I can understand that. Of course, I can't exactly come to a decision right away. This is a lot to take it. You have to give me some time, I need to make the decision that's right for me." Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "Understandable. No sense rushing into something if you don't have to." (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "First off, I personally, have NEVER understood what others meant when they said the expression, 'Opening a can of worms', before. In the first place, worms just don't TASTE that good, even by FISH standards! I mean, how could you EXPECT to eat something that eats DIRT as it's primary diet staple?! Second, there are MANY other things a fish can eat! But, I do understand what the expression means now! I'm not sure WHAT I was thinking; that I could just say, 'I love Spongebob', and not expect my wife AND Sandy to not take that information personally! I honestly didn't mean anything by it...except for trying to help Spongebob! Sometimes...love is a complicated emotion, even if it involves loving someone like a friend." /

Spongebob says: "Ever since I was first old enough to work at the Krusty Krab, I always felt like the only way I was going to be a truly great employee, is if EVERYONE who worked with me LIKED me! I thought that if I just liked EVERYONE hard enough, that it would get even SQUIDWARD to like me! But, now that I'm able to understand and experience emotions properly, I think I have to face the fact that such a thing is never going to be! I can't force Squidward to like me, and I'm going to have to accept that! But, I CAN accept the fact that Bubble Bass LOVES me, and nobody made him do that at ALL! He CHOSE to love me, all on his own! And I don't think his love for me, takes away from my love for Sandy; it could only ADD to it! But, I can see how Sandy can't just come to a decision like that! This is just as much HER decision as mine, and I need to respect her decision, no matter WHAT that might be!" / Sandy says: "If I had known that asking Bubble Bass to help Spongebob, would cause Bubble Bass to discover that he LOVED Spongebob, I might have asked someone else to help! But as it is, he chose to make that decision all on his own! Now, it's my decision as to what I'm going to do with that news. I don't know how Bubble Bass would fit into our lives! I mean, I know that Spongebob could interact with Bubble Bass just fine, he's had several opportunities to do so! On the other hand, I personally don't know Bubble Bass that well! I don't want to act from a defensive position! I mean, Stimpy TRIED a polyamorous relationship once, and it ended with Ren doing a schizophrenic FREAK-OUT and ruining their friendship/marriage! Granted, I don't think Bubble Bass has that problem, but I just need to get to know Bubble Bass first, before I make any decisions. That's the best decision that I can make right now." (End Confessional)

Meanwhile, at the trailers for the Silver Snakes, and the Blue Barracudas, Bulma Briefs is sitting pretty, admiring her Immunity Pendant Of Life! Bulma says: "Well, guys, girls, and ZIM, it looks like Lady Luck is FINALLY starting to smile on us! Soon, EVERYTHING is going to go our way!" Taotie says: "We got RID of Aang and Snaptrap, that doesn't mean we're out of the woods yet!" Bulma says: "Well, I think YOUR problem stems from the fact, that you CAN'T see the forest through the TREES! Yes, there are a LOT of them! But, if you take the time to make a mark of each one, and stick to one path, you can find your way out of ANY forest! And, I am an EXPERT at getting out of sticky situations!" Daggett says: "Don't remind us, like you've done the last HALF a dozen times, MINIMUM!" Bulma says: "I'm NOT being stuck-up about it! Besides, we've LOST the last four challenge! I would THINK that you would WANT our team to win, just as much as I do!" Zim says: "As much as I hate being NOT referred to as a 'Guy', she DOES have a point!" Bulma says: "And let's not forget, we've got Heffer and Yakety on our team now. We are a brand NEW breed of Silver Snakes! And I believe we CAN prevail, if we STOP bickering among ourselves, and actually WORK together as a team!" Heffer says: "Right on!" Yakety says: "And I just want you to know, that I intend to be a fully valuable member of this team! You can count on me for just about anything!" Bulma smiles coyly, and says: "That's EXACTLY what I'm counting on!"

(Confessional) Bulma says: "Daggett Beaver is STUPID and disposable, Zim is CHAOTIC and unpredictable, Kitty is...well, she's the token good team-mate! Heffer is HORRIBLY fat and out of shape, Blonda...I couldn't care for LESS! Taotie is being surprisingly logical, more so than the LAST time we were on a team together! I'll have to keep an eye on him for that! But Yakety? He's decided to step up to the plate all on his own! I guess if I HAD to take someone to the Final Three with me, he'd HAVE to be my go to guy, or yak, as the case may be! I'll have to figure out a way to get ZARBON out of the game before that point, and I don't think Chameleon will help weaken him AGAIN! If I can just figure out something Zarbon ISN'T good at, I can use that against him! Until than, I've got a LOT of cannon fodder I can feed into the sacrificial fire, and, being the SMARTEST of ALL my team-mates, I'll be able to figure out WHERE to find a hidden Immunity Pendant first! NOBODY is going to get the drop on me THIS season!" / Daggett says: "Of course I'm suspicious of Bulma! How could I NOT be?! With Aang and Snaptrap gone, I'm probably the HIGHEST on Bulma's personal hit list, along with Zim and Heffer! And worst of all, I'm actually trying to PLAY the game, not like SOME of the LOSERS that populated our team! But if Bulma thinks she can just brush me to the side, she's wrong! Norbert and Treeflower aren't the ONLY competant beavers! I'll PROVE that I can play the game, just as well as they can!" / Yakety says: "I just want to state that when I told Bulma that she could count on me for just about anything, I meant ANYTHING that was legal and ethical! Carving that Fake Immunity Pendant was a one time deal! She's NOT going to get me to do THAT again!" / Taotie says: "I have to be logical! The last time I was in this competition, I didn't PLAY the game logically, and I got eliminated by Tigress for all my trouble! But, if I stay in control of my emotions, and don't try to take any shortcuts the way I used to, I think I can make it pretty far this season! I just need to outlast Bulma, and than, I can focus on the REST of the competition!" (End Confessional)

Sniz rings a gong, and over the loud-speakers, he announces: "Just a reminder, contestants; Aang and Snaptrap were eliminated via ejection in the last episode! Please report to the Moat to hear about today's legend! That is all!" Treeflower says: "One thing is for sure, now with Aang and Snaptrap gone, the REST of this season should be smooth sailing!" Otto says: "You WISH! You'd have to outlast ME in this competition FIRST, and we all know that you've NEVER done that before!" Treeflower says: "First time for anything, athlete!" Judy says: "All I know is that when it comes to acting DRAMATICALLY, first and foremost, I win against ALL of you!" Stimpy asks Gerald: "Do YOU know what she's talking about?!" Gerald says: "I'm LUCKY I'm still as sane as I am, given all the craziness that we've ALREADY been through!" Stimpy says: "You said it!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "I'm looking forward to the day that I PERSONALLY send Otto home! I can't WAIT to mark HIS tally for elimination!" / Otto says: "Treeflower will NEVER send me home! Most of this season is an ATHLETIC challenge! And we all know that with a few exceptions, there are no contestants who are more athletic than I am! I just have to get rid of the competition first, than I will DOMINATE!" / Judy sighs and says: "Nobody seems to be appreciating the FINE, dramtic piece of work that IS, Judy Funny!" / Gerald says: "Hanging out with Arnold is one thing. But this game show? A totally DIFFERENT experience entirely! Hopefully, I'll be able to make the most of it!" / Stimpy says: "With Haggis gone, I have to face the fact that I'll need to form an alliance if I'm going to get far in this game. Treeflower is OUT of the question! Spongebob could work; I'm not sure about Darwin; Marlene is a must; I definitely got to work with Dog again! I'm not sure if I can get Super Chum, Keswick, or Po; and Wally would be a good fourth vote! With the five of us, I think we can handle just about anything!" (End Confessional)

The contestants suit up into their team colors, and line up at the moat! Sniz says: "Welcome to a re-built, re-furbished, and slightly revamped set! It's time for another challenge on Total Cartoon Legends! Thankfully, the Temple has now been built to withstand Avatar levels of strength, so it can handle just about anything! Hopefully, you'll be able to do so as well! And just remember, after today's challenge, two more of you will be voted off in the Mine Cart of Shame! But first, we need to hear about today's legend! Olmec, tell us what today's legend is!" Olmec says: "Today's legend is, the Legend of the Golden Fleece!" Sniz says: "All right, so here is how today's challenge is going to work! In Ancient Greek times, the Greeks would often pray to their many Gods for good weather and good fortune! In today's challenge, one set of contestants will be the rowers, the other set of contestants will control the weather! On either end of the stage, we have two large weather fans, to simulate the power of the Gods. These fans will control how much speed the rowers will get! Give too much speed, and the contestants might fall off the boat and have to start over! Of course, if you don't give enough, they might not finish fast! Once the first batch of contestants gets across, they must blow their boat back across the moat, so that the other batch can get across! Once everyone gets across, they will ring their gong to indicate that they have finished! Remember, where you finish, will determine which team you play with! Green Monkeys, you have two more contestants than the Silver Snakes, so you'll have to sit two members out." Treeflower says: "Oh, we don't NEED to discuss this, we're sitting Darwin and Dog out!" Dog asks: "Why are you sitting out ME?! I actually WON season two!" Treeflower says: "Only by dumb luck, and dumb luck only gets you so far!" Spongebob says: "But Dog is my friend!" Treeflower says: "Oh...just be thankful that I didn't decide to sit YOU out!"

(Confessional) Treeflower says: "A GOOD contestant can sense a weak link, before even THEY can sense it themselves! Now, I might have made an error with Spongebob. But Darwin and Dog; they won't make it to the team merge AGAIN! I'll make SURE that doesn't happen!" / Spongebob says: "You better believe it when I say that Treeflower's underestimating of other contestants is going to cost her big someday!" / Dog says: "I think Treeflower has spent too MUCH time away from the competition! She's forgotten how to be a good sport! Her loss!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas, you'll both have to sit out one member as well." Sandy says: "I'll sit this one out, I need to see how BUBBLE BASS performs in a competition of this nature!" Bubble Bass asks: "Seriously?!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Never saw Sandy take an interest in me before, so I guess I better perform at my best!" / Sandy says: "You can tell a lot about another guy/girl/being by the way they behave in a competition. We'll see what happens when the chips are down, and they have to play for all of the marbles!" (End Confessional) Fee says: "I'll sit this one out. I finally got my hair to look the way I want it to, and I don't want to ruin it." Harvey says: "Don't worry, Fee! I'll row TWICE as hard for the both of us!" (Confessional) Harvey says: "You probably don't know HOW much work Fee has to put INTO her hair! But the end result? It's ALWAYS worth it!" / Fee says: "You got to admire a guy who's willing to work hard so YOU don't have to!...Uh, THAT came out wrong!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Everybody into their positions, and let's get this challenge started!" Larry extends his claw to Taotie, and Larry says: "Hey, may the best man win!" And Taotie simply says: "HMMPH!" Larry says: "Oh, so it's going to be like THAT, is it?! FINE!"

(Confessional) Larry says: "This is why NOBODY wants to work with the Silver Snakes team! They don't know the FIRST thing about friendships!" / Taotie says: "It's a simple matter of principle. I may not be an outright bad guy anymore, but I REFUSE to be anymore good than I have to be! I have more dignity than that!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Than on your mark, get set, GO!!!!" And the Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars both set off at a good pace, with a steady wind blowing, that helps them sail smoothly across, while the Blue Barracudas have a little difficulty adjusting the wind, and Bulma FIRST tries to blow the wind TOO fast, than too slow! Daggett says: "Bulma; I thought you were a GENIUS!!!!" Bulma says: "Yeah, but I'm NOT an omniglot! I can't READ these labels, they're all in RUSSIAN!" Pearl says: "In former Soviet Russia, you don't read labels, labels READ you!" Bulma says: "THANKS for the Yakov Schmirnoff reference!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "The girl knows old school comedy; I got to respect that!" / Pearl says: "I can thank my dad, General Barracuda, for introducing me to comedy from the 1980's! It might not have been my genre, but I still respect it!" (End Confessional) The first batch of contestants for the Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars get across! While the Red Jaguars blow their boat back at a reasonable speed, the Green Monkeys seem to be blowing their boat back at a PAINFULL slow speed! Treeflower, who's still WAITING to get across, stamps her feet impatiently, and she says: "Come on, come ON!!!! Faster, FASTER!!!! What's taking SO long to get that boat across?!" Spongebob, running the fan, simply says: "Insult, demean, and put down my fellow team-mates AGAIN, and we might NOT run the fan at ALL!" Treeflower angrily says: "D'OH!!!!"

(Confessional) Treeflower says: "I KNOW Spongebob is doing this on PURPOSE! He's trying to get back at me, just because I told the honest truth! He's trying to be IRRITATING to me, and it's WORKING!!!!" / Spongebob says: "If there's one thing I've learned, is that Good, does NOT have to be soft! I'm standing up for my team-mates, because Treeflower is clearly in the wrong!" (End Confessional) The Green Monkeys FINALLY get their boat across, but the Red Jaguars have already gotten in and are already getting across, while the Blue Barracudas have finally gotten THEIR first batch of contestants across to! Treeflower says: "It's about TIME! Come on! Let's WIN this thing!" Marlene asks: "And WHAT'S the magic word?" Treeflower screams: "NOW!!!!" Keswick says: "WRONG!!!!" Treeflower yells: "WHAT?!!!" Wally says: "The magic word is 'Please'!" Treeflower says: "I will NOT tell you, 'Please!' Little birds like Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce say 'Please'. Spongebob says, 'Please'. I'm pretty sure that even Tigress says 'Please'. Treeflower Fields does NOT say 'Please', when it refers to a group of LOSERS!!!!" Marlene says: "I'd WATCH what you say, because what you refer to as 'Losers', are currently in CHARGE of your fate! And lest YOU forget, Spongebob HAS the Immunity Pendant! But, if you want to WASTE a vote on HIM at the Elimination Ceremony, while HE has a free vote to send YOUR way, that's entirely YOUR choice, to!" Treeflower panics, and she says: "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP, you're RIGHT!!!! If we wind up at the Elimination Ceremony I could be DEAD! Or WORSE; eliminated HUMILIATED!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "How did I wind up at the bottom of the pecking list?! Mercury MUST be in retrograde!" / Marlene says: "It's NOT the planets, it's Karma!" / Wally says: "I've personally never HAD an opportunity to vote off Treeflower before. I wonder what it will FEEL like?" / Keswick says: "For someone who CLAIMS to be a genius, she's REMARKABLY short-sighted!" (End Confessional)

Treeflower says: "Okay, fine! You're right, I'm wrong! Let's just say for the record, that 'I'm sorry', and NO, I will NEVER regard Darwin and Dog as being worthy of MY company!" Keswick says: "For NOW!" The Green Monkeys finally get into their boat, but the Red Jaguars have already punched in their gong, and the Blue Barracudas are starting to pull ahead, while the Silver Snakes have FINALLY gotten their first batch of contestants across, and are starting to send their boat back! Treeflower says: "We've GOT to make it! We CAN'T wind up with the Silver Snakes!" Bulma gets a sly look, and she asks: "Want to BET?!" And she turns her fan on the Green Monkeys boat, causing them to go TOO fast, and they ALL fall in, while the Blue Barracudas get across and ring their gong! Sniz says: "And it's over! For the first time this season, the Red Jaguars will be teamed up with the Blue Barracudas, and the Green Monkeys will be teamed up with the Silver Snakes! Green Monkeys, let's hope that you do a better job working with the Silver Snakes than the other teams have!" Bulma sarcastically says: "Yeah, because it would be a real shame to vote TREEFLOWER off, while I'm SAFE with the Immunity Pendant!" Treeflower scowls, and says: "I hope you die a long, slow, and very painful DEATH, Bulma!" Bulma scoffs, and says: "That is nice, so sorry YOU'LL never make that happen!" Sniz says: "We got to get everyone dried off, but don't go away, because we'll be right back with some more, of Total Cartoon Legends!" / (Commercial Break) /

At the Steps Of Knowledge, Squidward seems to be bothered by something, a fact which Gonard actually notices. Gonard says: "Hey, Squidward! You're looking a little bit out of sorts today; what's up?" Squidward says: "Spongebob hasn't bothered me today. He hasn't BOTHERED me ALL DAY!!!!" Zarbon, holding a hand mirror in one hand, and combing his hair with the other, merely scoffs, and says: "So what?! You know Spongebob ONLY bothers you when he WANTS to hang out with you!" Squidward says: "But that's just the POINT! He ALWAYS wants to hang out with me, and he hasn't done so! He MUST be sick!" Chameleon says: "I don't see why YOU would be concerned about it! After all, I thought you would ENJOY Spongebob not bothering YOU for a change!" Squidward says: "I thought so to, but now, I'm not so sure!"

(Confessional) Squidward says: "Have I made a terrible mistake in rejecting Spongebob's friendship all these years? I THOUGHT if I had peace, quiet, and solitude, I would be HAPPY, but I'm NOT! Something is MISSING!" Than an unexpected EPIPHANY hits Squidward, and he says: "Chaos! I never REALIZED it before, but, it seems like I actually have some kind of NEED to be surrounded by frantic, annoying, and loud behavior, in order to focus on creating my artistic and musical masterpieces! Oh, but Spongebob would NEVER believe that! And after all the times I shot him down, he'd NEVER let me hear the end of it if I admitted THAT to him! There's GOT to be another way to get Spongebob to pay attention to me! But what?" / Zarbon continues brushing his hair, and he says: "Squidward's concerns, HARDLY concern me! As far as I'm concerned, he's only good for another vote that will help me get the LESS talented, and LESS beautiful contestants out of here. Nothing more, nothing less. And once he's served his purpose, I'll eliminate him, to! It's nothing personal, but only the MOST beautiful contestant can win THIS season, and THAT'S going to be ME!" / Chameleon says: "While I haven't always had the good track record of socializing or being sane prior to being a good contestant on this show, at least I've always known what I wanted! But Squidward? I don't think he REALLY has a clue! I mean, what kind of GUY says he HATES someone for 23 years, only to suddenly realize that, surprise, surprise, they actually somehow NEED that someone to function in life?! I'm beginning to think I'll NEVER understand Squidward Tentacles!" (End Confessional)

Squidward goes to Sway-Sway, and Squidward asks: "Sway-Sway, you're...inexplicably dating someone who's actually REALLY super hot by YOUR standards, right?" Sway-Sway angrily asks: "What do you mean, 'MY standards'?!" Squidward says: "Come on! I didn't mean it THAT way! Just hear me out! Spongebob used to be insistent about wanting to hang out with me PRACTICALLY 24/7/365, and now, I'm getting zero play. What gives?" Sway-Sway says: "Well, if I had to guess, I think Spongebob took Bubble Bass' declaration of love for him to heart!" Squidward rhetorically asks: "SERIOUSLY?!!! What does Bubble Bass have that I DON'T?!" Sway-Sway says: "And while I can TELL that was a rhetorical question, I will answer it anyways. Bubble Bass has actually shown an active INTEREST in caring and concern for Spongebob, and Spongebob didn't even ask Bubble Bass to do that, Bubble Bass decided to do that on his own. Whereas despite Spongebob trying for 23 years to get YOU to be friends with you on at least 431 separate occasions, you have shot him down every single time, no matter WHAT he suggested! Did you honestly think that even HE wouldn't get the message eventually?! You LOVED being MISERABLE to him for NO GOOD reason, more than having what could have been an eternal friendship with someone who could've inspired some great masterpieces for you, and now you've LOST him forever!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I've lost Spongebob FOREVER?!!!" Squidward scoffs, and he says: "As if! Spongebob NEEDS to bother me! It's like second nature to him! Spongebob could never ACTUALLY grow up and take things seriously; he NEEDS to be annoying to me! Spongebob would never ACTUALLY give that up; right?!" Squidward looks around, and nervously asks: "Right?" / Sway-Sway says: "It's sad when even I can see that Squidward is denial! He thinks that it's IMPOSSIBLE for others to change, even when the evidence is right in front of his eyes! He only has himself to blame for not noticing how genuine Spongebob's displays of friendship were, sooner!" (End Confessional)

General Barracuda walks up to the Steps Of Knowledge, and he says: "I'm FINALLY on this episode! I REALLY got to talk to Sniz about scheduling my appearances in, EARLIER in these episodes! In any case, I just want to assure you that the Steps of Knowledge are completely safe, now and forever more!" Buhdeuce asks: "What?! Did you have Cosmo STEP on each one until no more explosives came out?!" And General Barracuda merely nods! Buhdeuce, in a shocked look, asks: "SERIOUSLY?!!!" (Flashback) General Barracuda says: "Come on, Cosmo! You've only TRIPPED 172 bombs! What's 122 more, compared to a guy like you?!" Cosmo, SERIOUSLY charred and weary by now, says: "You're lucky that I'm immortal, otherwise, I would be in SUCH pain right now!" (End Flashback) General Barracuda laughs and says: "Worth ALL 12 hours of just sitting down, if you're speed watching!" Po says: "Must be some pretty fast speed watching!" Sniz comes up and says: "All right, contestants! Let's get this show on the road! I mean...you know what I mean! Olmec, it's time to talk about today's legend of the Golden Fleece!"

Olmec says: "From about the Eighth Century B.C.E., the Golden Fleece, in Ancient Greek Myths, was a much sought after, and highly prized fleece, of a golden-wooled, winged ram named Chrysomallos! It once rescued a man named Phrixus and brought him to the city of Colchis. It is there that Phrixus sheared the ram of it's golden fleece, and Phrixus presented the Golden Fleece to King Aeetes. King Aeetes kept the Golden Fleece in a sacred grove; until the time came, when Jason of the Argonauts liberated the Golden Fleece, with the help of King Aeetes' daughter! The historical account is that Jason, the Prince of Iolcos, with the crew of the Argonauts, was set on on quest to retrieve the Fleece, by the order of King Pelias. By doing so, Jason was able to rightfully ascend to his place, on the throne of Iolcus in Thessaly, due to the Fleece being a symbol of authority and kingship. Sometime after 330 B.C.E., the Golden Fleece became lost to the mists of time, and found it's way to the Temple. Your job is to retrieve the Golden Fleece, and bring it back to the Temple!" Sniz says: "Thanks Olmec! Where can the Golden Fleece be found?" Olmec says: "The Golden Fleece can be found in The Emperor's Chamber!" Sniz says: "All right! Olmec will ask you questions to see how well you've been paying attention! And Red Jaguars? If you manage to get to the bottom of the Steps first, one of you will have a chance to win the Immunity Pendant of Life!" Tigress says: "And I'M going to be playing for it! I won't even NEED another contestant to help ME out!" Jenny asks: "Seriously?!"

(Confessional) Tigress says: "I don't want people to think that I was just BRAGGING about being the smartest, I'm GOING to prove that what I say, is NOT hyperbole!" / Jenny shakes her head, and she says: "Tigress might find out the HARD way, that if you TRY to do things alone ALL the time, you may end up BEING alone ALL the time!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right; as for the other teams, Bulma and Heffer will play for the Silver Snakes, Treeflower and Darwin will play for the Green Monkeys, and Squidward and Gonard will play for the Blue Barracudas! Olmec, take it away!" Olmec asks: "When was the Legend of the Golden Fleece, first believed to be told?" Tigress rings in and says: "The Eighth Century B.C.E.!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And she moves down a step! Bulma says: "OOH! Strong, fast, AND smart! Usually you have to pay EXTRA to get THAT in a single package!" Olmec asks: "What was the name of the golden-wooled, winged ram that the Golden Fleece came from?" Tigress rings in again, and says: "Chrysomallos!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" Sandy gasps in shock, and says: "She MIGHT actually DO it!" Bubble Bass says: "You think THAT'S bad?! If she does it, she will UTTERLY prove that she doesn't NEED the rest of you!" Olmec asks: "Where did Chrysomallos take Phrixus to?" Tigress rings in AGAIN and says: "The City of Colchis!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Tigress steps down to the bottom of the Steps of Knowledge! Sniz says: "I don't believe it! In a HISTORIC first, Tigress has completed the Steps of Knowledge, all by herself! And, she gets the option of whether to keep the Immunity Pendant for herself, or, give it to someone else on her team!" Tigress grabs the Immunity Pendant, and she says: "I'm keeping THIS bad boy to myself! Mama didn't raise no fool, and my daddy? He hardly raised ME at all!"

Sniz says: "In any case, there's no need to play the rest of the Steps Of Knowledge, since each team has an Immunity Pendant to call their own, it's time for the Challenge portion of the game!" And Sniz and the others go to the Challenge Arena! And Tigress looks arrogantly at Jenny, and Tigress says: "I TOLD YOU I'D WIN!!!!" And Jenny scowls angrily! (Confessional) Jenny says: "I honestly didn't think it was possible, but even as a ROBOT, I just experienced PURE, UNADULTERATED RAGE against TIGRESS just now!" / Tigress holds the Immunity Pendant in her left hand, and she says: "Jenny is just jealous, because as long as I hold this and WIN challenges, no one can TOUCH me!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! It's time to reveal what today's challenge will be, for entering the Temple! In the Legend, the Golden Fleece was sheared off of Chrysomallos, before it was given to King Aeetes. In this challenge, pieces of the Golden Fleece will be blown across the stage. Utilizing teamwork, you will collect as many pieces of the Golden Fleece as you can within the time limit. Your job is to put it into a gigantic bucket, at the bottom of the statue of the Golden-Wooled, Winged Ram! At the end of the challenge, whoever has filled up the bucket to the red line, or whoever has collected the most wool; those two teams will end up going to the Temple! With the exception of the Silver Snakes, each team has choices as to who to sit out, who will the Green Monkeys sit out this time?" Treeflower gets a DEVIOUS look on her face, and she says: "You know what? I've changed my mind. I think I'LL sit this one out THIS time, with Keswick, and we'll SEE what Dog and Darwin can do!" Darwin asks: "Seriously?!"

(Confessional) Darwin says: "I never thought I'd see Treeflower have faith in me! Come to think of it, I'm not sure if she really HAS faith in me at all! I think she's trying to set me up into a 'Uriah Gambit', and I don't like it!" / Treeflower says: "The way I see it, it's a 'Win-Win' for me. If Dog and Darwin do good, I can take credit for the great idea, and the other contestants will like me more! If they fail, I can blame THEM for failing, and convince everyone to vote off whoever does WORST if we lose! Either way, my day doesn't end too badly!" / Dog says: "No matter what happens, I can't let my team down! The honor of Nearburg, rests on my shoulders!" (End Confessional) Tigress says: "Seeing as how Judy FAILED us the LAST time she ran the Temple, SHE will sit this one out!" Judy scoffs, and she says: "Like YOU could FARE any better against a Temple Guard?!" Tigress says: "Watch me! I'll fight them tiger to man, with ONE hand behind my back! ALL THREE of them!" (Confessional) Judy says: "Why does Tigress INSIST on making the challenge more difficult for herself than she needs to?" / Tigress says: "I HAVE to make the challenge interesting! HELLO! Now that Aang is GONE, I have LOST my best source of challenge for this season! So, anything I can do to make the challenge at least INTERESTING to myself, I'll take! After all, I was NOT raised to be a LOSER!" (End Confessional) Zarbon says: "I must regretfully sit this one out for the Blue Barracudas. I finally got my hair to look the way I like it, and 50%; possibly 99.99% of the world, would be DEVASTATED, if anything were to happen to my beauty!" Dudley asks: "Who's the 0.01%?" Zarbon says: "There are two people on this world...I can't say. But needless to say, I wouldn't miss them if THEY were gone!"

(Confessional) Zarbon says: "In my experience, ugliness and stupidity seem to go hand in hand. Just look at Taotie! He couldn't concoct a good scheme even if his LIFE depended on it! I would enjoy the chance to vote HIM off! But, seeing as how my team isn't paired up with his, I shall simply have to hope Bulma does the deed for me, unless somebody else messes up WORSE!!!!" / Dudley says: "I think I know WHO Zarbon is talking about, but I can't say either, due to the fact that it might cause some 'Unfortunate Implications'." (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Our teams are all ready! We'll put three minutes on the clock, and to get you in the mood, we'll be playing The Association, and their hit song, 'Windy'. On your mark, get set, GO!!!!" / During the song, Tigress, Otto, Larry, Sway-Sway, Gonard, Dudley, Chameleon, and Bubble Bass end up doing the majority of the work for the Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas, as they manage to gather up the most fleece quickly and easily! Meanwhile, the Green Monkeys can NOT get along with the Silver Snakes at all! While Dog is hurrying and TRYING his best, Darwin keeps TRIPPING, running into Heffer Wolfe, or BEING tripped by the other Silver Snakes on purpose, while Treeflower and Keswick enjoy WATCHING the action, as they're BOTH eating a bag of popcorn! /

The Association sings: "Who's peeking out from under a stairway, calling a name that's lighter than air? Who's bending down to give me a rainbow? Everyone knows it's Windy. Who's tripping down the streets of the city, smiling at everybody she sees? Who's reaching out to capture a moment? Everyone knows it's Windy! And Windy has stormy eyes that flash at the sound of lies. And Windy has wings to fly above the clouds (Above the clouds). Above the clouds (Above the clouds). (Instrumental Break) And Windy has stormy eyes that flash at the sound of lies. And Windy has wings to fly above the clouds (Above the clouds). Above the clouds (Above the clouds). Who's tripping down the streets of the city, smiling at everybody she sees? Who's reaching out to capture a moment? Everyone knows it's Windy! Who's tripping down the streets of the city, smiling at everybody she sees? Who's reaching out to capture a moment? Everyone knows it's Windy! Who's tripping down the streets of the city, smiling at everybody she sees? Who's reaching out to capture a moment? Everyone knows it's Windy! Who's tripping down the streets of the city, smiling at everybody she sees? Who's reaching out to capture a moment? Everyone knows it's Windy! Who's tripping down the streets of the city, smiling at everybody she sees? Who's reaching out to capture a moment? Everyone knows it's Windy!" / And the epic song and challenge ends, as the Red Jaguars and the Blue Barracudas manage to fill THEIR bucket all the way to the red line first! Sniz says: "And it's over! It's all over! The Red Jaguars and the Blue Barracudas win the challenge! Green Monkeys, I thought I would never have to say this, but, you're going to be facing an Elimination Ceremony tonight, WITH the Silver Snakes!" Treeflower says: "Thanks a LOT, Darwin! If it hadn't been for both YOUR, and HEFFER'S gross INCOMPETENCE, we might have actually WON this thing!" Darwin says: "Come on! The Silver Snakes will DELIBERATELY sabotaging ME!" Treeflower says: "That's no excuse! There is NOTHING that can save YOU now!" Darwin moans, and he says: "Oh, boy!"

(Confessional) Darwin groans and he says: "I HATE it when I'm right about things I don't WANT to be right about!" / Treeflower says: "I FIGURED Darwin as the weak link! The Silver Snakes just confirmed it! At least I managed to take the target off of me, and put it onto him! It's ALWAYS important to have an exit strategy, BEFORE getting into any sticky situations!" (End Confessional) Sandy goes up to Bubble Bass, and she says: "I must admit, I was thoroughly impressed by your leg work out there! Have you lost WEIGHT?!" Bubble Bass says: "Actually, I have. Cut out the Twinkies and Mountain Dew. Plus, I HAVE been exercising quite considerably since becoming a contestant on this show!" Sandy says: "I actually wondered how someone like YOU managed to WIN last season, but now I've seen the proof for myself!" Bubble Bass asks: "What do you mean; 'Someone like ME'?" Sandy says: "Sorry. I didn't mean to put it that way! I meant no offense by it! Can we be friends?" Bubble Bass says: "Does that mean I can at least be friends with Spongebob?" Sandy says: "Sure! I can never turn down someone who's both smart AND surprisingly athletic like I am!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "So, at least Sandy thinks of me as a friend now, that's a step in the right direction! Even if that's all it becomes, I think I can be happy with that!" / Sandy says: "Bubble Bass is definitely more competent than I initially gave him credit for. Even though he's already won last season, I still don't think it will be easy to beat him. He might decide to play TWICE as hard BECAUSE everyone already knows what he's capable of! And I look forward to seeing everything he has to offer!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "While the Green Monkeys and Silver Snakes wait to find out their fate! It's time for someone to enter the Temple! Who's going to..." Tigress says: "I will! And I will do it BY myself, NO Pendants, and no Temple description needed!" Otto says: "Come on! Even I'M not THAT crazy, and I'm ME!" Tigress says: "I got to the Legend the LAST time that I ran the Temple, I can certainly do it AGAIN! And the Temple Guards KNOW that they are no match for me!"

Sniz says: "All right, Tigress. You will have THREE minutes to get through the Temple, find the Golden Fleece, and bring it back here!" And Tigress, true to her WORD, puts her left hand behind her back! Tigress says: "You see my left hand? I WON'T throw a SINGLE punch from it! So Temple Guards, COME GET ME IF YOU'RE BRAVE ENOUGH!!!!" Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "On your mark, get set, GO!!!!" And Tigress quickly runs into the Mummy's Crypt, and THREE Temple Guards jump out to try to CAPTURE her, but using just her RIGHT hand, her legs, her TAIL, and her head, she quickly KNOCKS all THREE of them out; quickly BUSTS through each MAGICALLY reinforced door with just her RIGHT fist, GRABS the Golden Fleece with her RIGHT hand, and quickly runs BACK to the Temple Entrance over the STILL unconscious Temple Guards, and makes it to the Temple Entrance in ONLY one minute of the three minute total! Sniz says: "Tigress, you're GOING through the Temple TOO FAST!!!! You now have BOTH the fastest, and the second fastest run in ALL of Legends of The Hidden Temple history by a LONG shot!" Tigress says: "That's because I DON'T mess around; I came here to play, and WIN!" Gerald says: "One of these days, Tigress, you're going to bite off MORE than you can chew!" Tigress nods, and says: "Maybe so! But I'd rather take the risk, than be bored ANY day!" General Barracuda says: "You KNOCKED out THREE Temple Guards! Who would POSSIBLY accept to be Temple Guards NOW, when they see how EASILY you beat THREE of them?!"

Tigress scoffs and says: "Just get Verminious J. Snaptrap and some other former contestant saps to do it! I already KNOW that Snaptrap truly DIDN'T make the Fake Pendant, but it would STILL be a good way for him to perform some community service, AND get him away from Aang!" General Barracuda says: "You want US to bring back a KNOWN villain as a Temple Guard?!" Tigress says: "I think everyone has already seen that I can HANDLE anything! And if he gets out of line, I'll just beat him up for you! Does that sound fair?" Sniz says: "Sounds fair to me! I just got to make a couple of calls...AFTER the Elimination Ceremony!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Anyone can beat up an ordinary Temple Guard! But to beat up Snaptrap and what ever OTHER poor saps Sniz manages to get? Now THAT will be a challenge!" / Gerald shakes his head, and says: "Tigress is all KINDS of crazy! BUT, she does seem like she DOES have the skills and the abilities to back up her words! Is there anything she CAN'T do?! Besides actually ACT like she's part of a team?!" / Treeflower says: "If my calculations are right, which they often are; with the amount of convincing that I've done with the other Green Monkeys and Silver Snakes, Darwin will be leaving along with Heffer! Nothing personal, I'm just getting rid of the dead weight!" (End Confessional) The Green Monkeys and the Silver Snakes are both at the Elimination Ceremony. Sniz says: "Welcome Green Monkeys, to the first Elimination Ceremony that you have faced as a team. The Silver Snakes are already familiar with this, but you're new, so I'll let you know what the deal is. You will vote for one member of each team on the voting tablet. Once you've confirmed your choices, put a miniature Pendant of Life into the Coin Slot to lock in your votes! Than, we will tally the votes, and the two contestants who get the most votes, will be eliminated, and have to ride the Mine Cart of Shame. That means they are out of the contest this season, and can NEVER come back as contestants this season, EVER! And of course, just remember, there are a couple of Pendant holders out there!"

Bulma says: "Such as ME! I HAVE an Immunity Pendant of Life, and I WILL be playing it!" Daggett sarcastically says: "Gee, that sounds SMART to say OUT LOUD!!!!" Bulma says: "DUH! It's a test of LOYALTY! I want to SEE where everybody stands as to how LOYAL they are to me!" Stimpy says: "Spongebob, I don't think you should take any chances. You better play the Immunity Pendant of Life to, just to be safe!" Spongebob says: "Of course I'm going to do that! NOBODY is going to get the drop on me THIS season!" Stimpy says: "Wow! I'm impressed!" (Confessional) Stimpy says: "Yep! Spongebob is DEFINITELY going to work as an alliance member! Once this Elimination Ceremony is over, I will make a five vote, voting bloc, and we'll have the numbers on our team!" / Spongebob says: "I have to be practical this season! I tried playing it the OLD way the last three times, and someone always ended up taking advantage of me! I won't be fooled again, because this time, I've TRULY woken up, and I'm NEVER going back to sleep and revert to my old ways again!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, contestants, it's time to vote! And after voting, anyone who HAS an Immunity Pendant of Life better give it to me before I read the votes!" The contestants all quickly scroll through the choices, and pick who they want to have voted off! Sniz says: "Voting is over, so it's time--." Bulma says: "Hold it! Just to make SURE nobody thought that I was BLUFFING, I am PLAYING my Immunity Pendant of Life!" And she slams her Immunity Pendant down on Sniz's table! Sniz says: "The Immunity Pendant is real, that means all votes cast for Bulma will not count. Now--." Spongebob says: "And I'm playing my Immunity Pendant, to! I don't trust Treeflower as far as I could throw her, which is NOT very far at all!" And he places his Immunity Pendant down on Sniz's table as well!

Sniz says: "This Immunity Pendant is also real. That means all votes cast for Spongebob will not count! With that, it's time to tally the votes, and reveal who will be getting Chocolate Pendants of Life, to signify that you are safe. Daggett Beaver; Obviously, Spongebob. Stimpy, Zim, Marlene, Dog, Kitty, Super Chum, Keswick, Blonda, Taotie, Po, Wally; Obviously, Bulma Briefs. Yakety Yak!" Treeflower, Darwin, and Heffer Wolfe all tense up as they know that they are the only ones left! Sniz says: "Contestants, this IS the Final Chocolate Pendant of Life!" Treeflower sweats profusely, Darwin crosses his fingers for good luck, and Heffer is just eating a bag of chips, as if he was unconcerned about the decision. Sniz says: "And it goes to, Treeflower!" Treeflower says: "All right! Which of you JERK wads tried to vote ME off?!" Daggett says: "You're wasting your time, Sister In Law, which is the way that you ARE related to me, being Norbert's husband! I couldn't waste a vote on YOU, even if I wanted to! Norbert wouldn't be happy about it!" Stimpy says: "Besides, unless Sniz DECIDES to read the votes, they're always private, and unknown to the contestants!" Treeflower scoffs, and she says: "Private, SCHMIVATE! I WILL somehow find out WHO tried to vote ME off! And when I find out WHO did it, they will RUE the day they EVER tried to cross me!" And Bulma gets a coy look after hearing THAT suggestion! Sniz says: "Darwin and Heffer, your teams have spoken, it's time to put on your helmets, and ride the Mine Cart of Shame!" General Barracuda says: "Hold it! That Mine Cart is SPECIFICALLY designed to handle weights ONLY up to 444 pounds!" Heffer says: "And that's a problem HOW?" General Barracuda says: "Because you WEIGH like 800 pounds!" Darwin says: "Why don't you simply STRAP Heffer to the FRONT of the Mine Cart? Surely, the rockets on the back could propel us both THAT way!" Heffer says: "DARWIN!!!!" Darwin asks: "WHAT?! I'm just trying to be helpful, which is more than I can say for you!" Heffer says: "And I want to know why didn't the camera focus more on ME?!" Bulma says: "Because all you ever did was EAT!!!!"

Heffer looks at the bag of chips he's still holding, and he says: "It's a fair cop." Sniz asks: "WANDA?!!!" Wanda poofs in, and she says: "According to my calculations, Darwin's idea will work!" Heffer says: "Thanks a lot, Darwin!" Darwin says: "What?! You're going to be eliminated anyways, whether you want to be or not!" Sniz says: "Very true! General Barracuda, strap him on tight!" General Barracuda gets the THICKEST ropes he can find, and wraps Heffer and the Mine Cart tightly together! General Barracuda says: "Got it!" Sniz says: "All right! Darwin, are you all buckled up safely?" Darwin has his helmet on, and buckles up, and he says: "I'm as ready as I'll ever be!" Sniz asks: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Warm up the afterburners, General Barracuda! Let's fire this mine cart with everything it's got! 3, 2, 1, BLAST OFF!!!!" Utilizing ALL the engines on the back of the Mine Cart, the momentum manages to propel BOTH Heffer and Darwin down the rails, and through the Mine Shaft of Shame! Sniz says: "And just like that, two more contestants are gone! Will Treeflower find out if ANYBODY tried to vote her off? Can the Green Monkeys bounce back from their first loss? And will the Silver Snakes EVER stop losing contestants? I seriously doubt that last one, but find out, on the next episode, of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "It will be an adventure, you won't want to miss!" / After everyone else has left the Elimination Ceremony, Bulma comes back, and goes up to the official Vote Tally Computer. Using her genius expertise, she hacks her way in, and brings up the OFFICIAL Voting Results from the Vote-Off! Bulma says: "Let's see, Daggett tried to vote for me? Hardly surprising! Stimpy tried to vote me off? Didn't think he was THAT smart to try to force me to play my Pendant! Figures Marlene would try to vote ME off, the way I eliminated her in season three! No shock that Blonda tried to vote me off! And TREEFLOWER?! You tried to vote ME off?! Very NAUGHTY, Treeflower, but, I see Super Chum DID try to vote YOU off, do-gooder that he is! However, how about I CHANGE the results, and make YOU go after Spongebob instead?!"

Bulma does some more hacking, ALTERS the votes to make it so Spongebob voted for Treeflower INSTEAD of Darwin, and Bulma prints off the HACKED results! Bulma grabs the printed paper, and she says: "Treeflower, whether you know it or not, you are going to be entering into a LONG alliance with ME! Unfortunately for you, you will get NONE of the rewards, while I plan on walking away with $44.44 million, and PROVE that I am the genius that I say I am! Nothing personal; let's just say it's payback for the way I was HUMILIATED in season 3! And this time, the ball is in MY court!" / Stinger: Darwin and Heffer exit the portal, and they wind up somewhere in Europe! Heffer asks: "This is a weird town! Where in the world are we?" Darwin says: "I've been through this place with Eliza! We are in Pamplona, Spain!" Heffer says: "Wow! We'll get to be able to eat REAL Spanish food, not that Mexican stuff! But hold on! Why are the streets so empty?" Darwin gets a HORRIFIED look on his face, and he says: "WAIT! Pamplona, SPAIN?! Isn't THIS the town that's famous for an event that happens once a year?!" They get their answer, when they hear thundering footsteps behind them, and a bunch of black bulls come charging towards them! They both scream: "RUNNING OF THE BULLS!!!!" And utilizing "Wheel Of Feet", they both take off as FAST as they can, and keep looking to the sides, as if trying to find a way that doesn't involve running down the same directions as the bulls are running! Darwin says: "I think I'll take you up on your offer to eat some authentic Spanish cuisine with you, just as SOON as these bulls have to finally catch their BREATH!!!!" /

Episode Notes: First time this season that the Green Monkeys have had to go to an Elimination Ceremony, and the first time that they had to work with the Silver Snakes, meaning every single team combination has now been utilized at least once, and every single team has now had to face an Elimination Ceremony at least once! Tigress beats ALL THREE ordinary Temple Guards at the time, forcing Sniz to call Verminious J. Snaptrap and two as of yet undetermined former contestants to become new Temple Guards! Featured songs in this episode: "You Don't Mess Around With Jim" performed by Jim Croce, and "Windy" performed by The Association. Darwin and Heffer are eliminated in this episode. Eliminated Contestants: 44. Kowalski. 43. Private. 42. Kaput. 41. Johnny Krill. 40. Haggis McHaggis. 39. Monster Krumholtz. 38. Aang. 37. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 36. Darwin. 35. Heffer Wolfe. Remaining Contestants: Daggett Beaver, Silver Snakes. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Judy Funny, Red Jaguars. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Invader Zim, Silver Snakes. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Green Monkeys. Kitty Katswell, Silver Snakes. Sway-Sway, Blue Barracudas. Harvey Beaks, Blue Barracudas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Blonda, Silver Snakes. Taotie, Silver Snakes. Tigress, Red Jaguars. Gonard, Blue Barracudas. Po, Green Monkeys. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Blue Barracudas. Zarbon, Blue Barracudas. Bulma Briefs, Silver Snakes. Chameleon, Blue Barracudas. Fee, Blue Barracudas. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Blue Barracudas. Yakety Yak, Silver Snakes. Squidward Tentacles, Blue Barracudas. /

Personal Notes: As is the case for every season, I try to avoid making ALL my plans concrete, as I want to be flexible enough to allow for some flexibility in terms of which contestants get eliminated that end. To that end, my goal is to find out which contestants seem to have the most going for them story-wise, and which don't. Darwin and Heffer, were two contestants who I wasn't able to find a compelling enough story that would work out for them. And rather than drag their relative non-importance through more episodes, I decided to put them out of their irrelevance early, and have them voted off now. Hopefully, that will leave room for the more impressive characters, to have more moments to shine! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

All right! With this, everyone will be caught up with "Total Cartoon Legends" until I get back! For now, enjoy! /

Sniz is standing in front of the moat, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Legends, we FINALLY had a normal episode, where all of the challenges proceeded as they should! Well, mostly! Bubble Bass found out the hard way, that being in love with Spongebob, wasn't going to be that easy if Blonda and Sandy had anything to say about it! Fortunately, Sandy ended up impressed by Bubble Bass' skills, and allowed him to be friends with Spongebob! Meanwhile, Treeflower found out the hard way that dealing with a newly mature and PRACTICAL Spongebob, was going to be a LOT harder than she ever thought! In order to save herself from the chopping block, Treeflower decided to shove Darwin right into the line of fire, where he constantly collided with Heffer! In the end, the Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas won, and Tigress once again, TOTALLY crushed the Temple Run! At the Elimination Ceremony, it was Darwin and Heffer who had to take a ride through the Mine Shaft of Losers. Now there are 34 contestants left, and anything can happen! First off, you may see some familiar faces as Temple Guards now, and maybe; even the Silver Snakes FINALLY winning a challenge for once?!" Bulma says: "Hey! We HEARD that!" Kitty says: "It could STILL happen! We can't ALWAYS lose!" Sniz says: "Right! Anyways, see what happens on today's episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "It will be a very GOOD one indeed!" /

Instead of the normal show open, a montage of all of Treeflower's, and Bulma Brief's previous evil actions are re-played, all to the tune of the Electric Light Orchestra hit song, "Evil Woman". / Jeff Lynne sings: "You made a fool of me, but them broken dreams have got to end. Hey woman, you got the blues, cause you ain't got no one else to use. There's an open road that leads nowhere. So just make some miles between here and there. There's a hole in my head where the rain comes in. You took my body and played to win. Ha, Ha, woman it's a crying shame, but you ain't got nobody else to blame. You're an evil woman, you're an evil Woman, you're an evil Woman, Evil Woman! Rolled in from another town, hit some gold, too hot to settle down. But a fool and his money soon go separate ways, and you found a fool lyin' in a daze. Ha, Ha, woman what you gonna do? You destroyed all the virtues that the Lord gave you. It's so good that you're feeling pain, but you better get your face on board the very next train! You're an evil woman, you're an evil Woman, you're an evil Woman, Evil Woman! Evil woman, how you done me wrong. But now you're tryin' to wail a different song. Ha, Ha, funny how you broke me up. You made the wine, now you drink the cup. I came runnin' every time you cried. Thought I saw love smilin' in your eyes. Ha, Ha, very nice to know, that you ain't got no place left to go! You're an evil woman, you're an evil Woman, you're an evil Woman, Evil Woman!" / And the epic song and montage ends! /

"The Legend Of Pandora's Box!" / It is still night time, Bulma goes over to Treeflower's hotel room, and Bulma knocks on Treeflower's door! Treeflower answers and she asks: "Bulma, what in the world are you DOING here?!" Bulma says: "I'd like to lodge a complaint against you! I KNOW that you're ONE of the contestants that just TRIED to vote me OFF!" Treeflower says: "Come on! You outright SAID that you were going to play the Immunity Pendant of Life! I simply assumed that you would, and you did! So what are YOU complaining about?" Bulma says: "The point was, I was TRYING to test your LOYALTY, to see how LOYAL you are to your fellow contestants!" Treeflower says: "You've never done ANYTHING positive for me, so why should I EVER be loyal to YOU to begin with?!" Bulma says: "Because I have the printed results RIGHT here, that you ALSO tried to vote off SPONGEBOB, despite the fact that you ALSO knew that he HAD an Immunity Pendant of Life!" And Bulma pulls out her (hacked) results, that she shows to Treeflower! Bulma says: "The proof is in the paper! And...it would be a REAL shame if Spongebob were to, 'Accidentally' get a HOLD of this!" Treeflower gasps, and she says: "You wouldn't DARE!!!!" Bulma says: "Try me!" Treeflower thinks about it, and she asks: "All right! What do you want?" Bulma says: "Fortunately for you, I feel in a rather forgiving mood. I'm willing to overlook the fact that YOU tried to vote me off, in exchange for helping me to get RID of the contestant that TRIED to vote you off!" Treeflower asks: "You mean someone DID try to vote me OFF?! I KNEW it!" Bulma says: "And you get three guesses as to who did it, and the first two don't count!" Treeflower asks: "You mean...SPONGEBOB!!!!" Bulma shows Treeflower the (hacked) results, and Bulma says: "Bingo!" Treeflower FUMES over seeing the (hacked) results, and Treeflower says: "I can't believe that JERK FACE tried to vote ME off! He KNOWS I'm the SMARTEST member of our team!" Bulma asks: "Why else do you think he would attempt such a thing? You are one of the biggest obstacles towards HIM winning this season!"

Treeflower says: "So, why are you showing me this?" Bulma says: "Because I don't want Spongebob to win anymore than you do. I'll overlook the fact that YOU tried to vote me off, in exchange for YOU getting RID of Spongebob the NEXT time you face an Elimination Ceremony!" Treeflower says: "It's too risky to do right NOW! I won't have access to the Immunity Pendant until AFTER this upcoming challenge!" Bulma says: "Well, you do have a point there. All right! Win this challenge if you must; but the first opportunity you have, find the Immunity Pendant, THROW the challenge, and VOTE Spongebob off! There will be NOTHING anyone can do to stop you!" Treeflower than THINKS about it, and she says: "Wait! Why should I even TRUST you?! For all I know, you HACKED these results, and someone ELSE tried to vote me off!" Bulma says: "That might be true, and it might NOT be true! You really can't TELL with me! But do you REALLY want to TAKE the chance that I'm NOT lying and be BLINDSIDED when Spongebob TRIES to vote you off AGAIN?!" Treeflower thinks about it, and she says: "Of course not!" Bulma says: "Than I'll assume you will work with me?" Treeflower says: "Gladly!" And she shakes Bulma's hand! Bulma says: "And one more thing; under no circumstances are you to EVER to tell Spongebob or anyone else what you just discussed with me! After all, how can you POSSIBLY trust someone who's willing to LIE to your FACE?!" Treeflower says: "I won't say a word, Bulma!" Bulma chuckles, and she says: "That's EXACTLY what I'm counting on!"

(Confessional) Bulma says: "I KNEW Treeflower wouldn't take a risk in NOT believing me; she behaves SO predictably, it's ALMOST not even funny! Key word there is, 'Almost'! If Treeflower gets rid of Spongebob, everyone will HATE her, and will try to vote HER off the first chance that they get! Poor Treeflower; for a genius, she NEVER thinks of things as to how they will affect her in the LONG term! Foresight; that's why I have an advantage over HER!" / Treeflower says: "Look, Bulma is COMPLETELY untrustworthy! There's no doubt about that! But, she also doesn't want STUPIDBOB Spongepants to win the game either! And as far as I'm concerned, that's a WIN in my book! Besides, think of how much EASIER everyone will be able to compete if they're not having to worry about Spongebob reverting to his old self! He can't POSSIBLY keep this mature 'Charade' up FOREVER! Can he?" (End Confessional) In their hotel room, Sandy wakes up, and she turns to Spongebob, and she says: "Spongebob, I have to wonder something; when do you plan on giving up this mature 'Charade'?" Spongebob asks: "Who said it WAS a 'Charade'? I'm not pretending to be mature; I'm actually TRYING to be mature! After all, you haven't seen me try to bug Squidward in the last couple of days, have you?" Sandy thinks about it, and she says: "No, I guess not." Spongebob says: "The old me would have jumped at any opportunity to try to hang out with Squidward, but now that I realize that he shot me down every time I ever did so, I have to come to the realization, that he NEVER wanted to hang out with me, so why should I continue trying? If he WANTED to hang out with me, he would have DONE it a long time BEFORE now! Besides, I thought you would be happy now that I'm mature. That's the biggest reason I became mature! I did it for YOU, since you're my wife!" Sandy says: "It just...takes some getting used to, that's all; like Bubble Bass' unexpected competence in this show! I'm kind of taken aback by it all!"

Spongebob says: "Well, don't worry about it! All I got to do is find a way to eliminate Treeflower the next time my team faces an Elimination Ceremony! That's my biggest obstacle! Than, I'll figure out the rest of my game plan from there!" Sandy says: "Sounds pretty logical to me, Spongebob!" (Confessional) Sandy says: "When I first married Spongebob, I always expected that I would be the LOGICAL, PRACTICAL member of our union! And that I would handle any problems physical or mental! But, now that Spongebob has become mature, it's thrown the old balance out of whack! It's not easy for me to adjust to something like that! Maybe it's a little selfish of me to say, but I LIKED being the only SMART one in our relationship! Maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time accepting Bubble Bass' love for Spongebob. It's already hard enough being the smartest, now that Spongebob is being mature. I don't know how I can handle Bubble Bass' genius, being thrown into the mix!" / Spongebob says: "Sandy thought that I was only 'Pretending' to be mature? Why would I ever do THAT?! What purpose would it serve me to only 'Pretend' to be mature? I've got far many more important things to think about than 'Pretend' to do something! I mean, why 'Pretend' to do something if you can ACTUALLY do it! And if you can't do it, you can LEARN how to do it! I think Squidward could learn a LOT by actually trying to LEARN how to be a great artist and musician, instead of merely pretending that he IS already one...not that I really CARE that much about what Squidward's up to anymore!" (End Confessional)

At the Silver Snakes' and Blue Barracudas' trailers, Zim, in a mournful voice says: "The Silver Snakes are down to seven! What are we to do?" Taotie says: "More importantly, how could we have ever allowed THIS to happen? It's ABSURD, that's what it is!" Kitty says: "It's all because you're working AGAINST each other instead of WITH each other!" Daggett says: "FINALLY! Some one ELSE said it! I've been TRYING to say that the whole time we've been LOSING, and none of you EVER give me so much as the time of DAY! So let's STOP messing around and TRY to actually function as a team! Do you think we can DO THAT for ONCE?!" Blonda groans, and says: "Fine! Since you're SO insistent on it, we'll do it YOURS and Kitty's way this time! But if we fail YET again, you two will be our TOP picks for Elimination!" Kitty says: "Don't worry, we WON'T fail!" Yakety says: "For your sake, I hope you're right!" Bulma says: "Don't worry your pretty little head! With MY genius, and Kitty's athletic skills, we can't POSSIBLY mess up THIS time!"

(Confessional) Daggett groans, and says: "I am SO sick and tired of having to act like the GROWN UP in this whole endeavor! It isn't FUNNY anymore, it's downright LUDICROUS!" Than Daggett actually HAS an epiphany, and he says: "HOLY SPOOT!!!! Is THIS what Norbert has gone through and has felt EVERY SINGLE DAY he's had ME by his SIDE?!!! Why didn't he TELL me how annoying and AWFUL it was?!!!" Than Daggett has ANOTHER epiphany, face-palms himself, and he says: "Probably because I never LISTENED to him to ALL the 121 stupid times he DID tell me that to my FACE!" / Kitty says: "It's about TIME the rest of the team saw things MY way! Of course, it doesn't help that our team just happened to be filled with the most rag-tag bunch of rotten miscreants that ever graced the stage of a competition! Hopefully, those days will be BEHIND us now! I would actually like to chow down on a Chocolate Pendant of Life for once! And I can, since Wanda granted me the ability to do so!" / Blonda says: "The only reason I'm going ALONG with this plan, is because it will distract me from having to think about how Bubble Bass is spending time with Spongebob! Of course, once Bubble Bass DOES stop hanging out with Spongebob, I WILL have to uphold my end of the bargain, and let Rube Goldfish know that Bubble Bass IS his father! It's...not something I'm particularly looking forward to! Don't tell Bubble Bass I said that!" / Yakety says: "It's clear that even as the new guy on this team, I'm not exactly safe. Heffer was ALSO a new guy, and everyone else voted him off the first chance they got! It's lucky that I'm in an alliance with Bulma! Of course, I'll probably have to break it off at some point, knowing Bulma's past history, but I'll cross that bridge only if and/or WHEN I have to, and NOT before!" / Bulma says: "We HAVE to win this challenge! HELLO! We don't have an Immunity Pendant that we can play, and we can't get it until the NEXT challenge! So, winning THIS challenge is our ONLY viable option!" (End Confessional)

Sniz rings a gong, and over the loud-speakers, he says: "Attention Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas, Darwin and Heffer Wolfe were eliminated at the last Elimination Ceremony! All teams are to report to the Moat to hear about today's challenge! That is all!" In the Red Jaguar's hotel lobby, Tigress says: "Well, looks like I made the right decision to volunteer Heffer to join the Silver Snakes, didn't I? Once dead weight, ALWAYS dead weight!" Judy scoffs, and she says: "You know, I'm getting REALLY sick of your condescending attitude towards EVERYBODY!" Gerald says: "Please! It's not towards EVERYBODY! Only to contestants who AREN'T named Po!" Judy says: "Well, that still leaves the REST of the world, let alone, the known UNIVERSE!" Tigress says: "Bring them on! I can take on any challenger, any time, any place, any WHERE!" Judy says: "Be careful what you wish for, Tigress! You just might get it!" Tigress says: "I usually do, and I actually WISH we lose this challenge, because I have an Immunity Pendant to keep ME safe, so that I can vote YOU off!" And Judy gulps in horror! (Confessional) Judy says: "Curse my superior acting skills! If I wasn't so confrontational, I wouldn't have earned the wrath of Tigress! But as it is, this is the part I must play now! And like any good actress, I shall play this part to it's GRAND finale, no matter WHAT that finale might look like! That is what a good actress, should STRIVE to do!" / Tigress says: "I wasn't put on this Earth to deal with other people's NONSENSE! Even WITH nine lives, my life isn't LONG enough for that! I just want to WIN challenges as fast as possible, and cut off any dead weight that will only slow me down! I'm in this game for the LONG haul! And it's about time everyone else saw that to!" / Gerald says: "It's too bad I wasn't BORN a panda! Maybe if I was, maybe THAN, Tigress might like ME, to!" (End Confessional)

All the contestants suit up into their team colors, and head for the Moat! Sniz says: "Welcome to today's challenge on Total Cartoon Legends! Now, I'm not sure if you're aware of this or not, but last time there was a Temple Run; Tigress KIND of knocked out our normal Temple Guards! However, the show MUST go on! So, we made a few calls, and we got some former contestants to fill out as our new Temple Guards! Tell them who they are, General Barracuda!" General Barracuda says: "Right! Hailing from galactic reaches unknown to humans, everyone's favorite saboteur, the one, the only, Kaput!" And Kaput whizzes by in his jet-pack, doing several loop-de-loops, and lands on the ground! And Kaput is smiling to the camera! Po says: "What are YOU so happy about? You're STILL eliminated!" Kaput says: "True enough. But at least now, I'll get PAID to do what I like to do best; being a Temple Guard, and trying to THWART you from getting the Legend! At least I have MY priorities straight!" General Barracuda says: "And don't get any FUNNY ideas; you're only allowed to try to DRAG contestants OUT of the Temple! And if a contestant gives you a Pendant Of Life, you have to take it!" Kaput says: "I know that! I'm not going to make the same mistake I did in season three!" General Barracuda says: "We'll see! Our next Temple Guard is a daredevil prawn who likes to make his home in the ocean; give it up for Johnny Krill!" Johnny Krill rides in on a skateboard, does several impressive tricks with it on the Steps Of Knowledge, than skids to a stop in front of General Barracuda! Johnny says: "All right! It is good to be back on this set!" Squidward says: "You're only a Temple Guard, you can't compete anymore." Johnny says: "I know that! But this way, at least I get to be part of the action!" General Barracuda says: "Last, and most CERTAINLY least, everyone's LEAST favorite rat, Verminious J. Snaptrap!" Snaptrap walks in, and loud "Boo"'s are heard, directed right towards him! Snaptrap says: "Ahh, 'Boo' yourselves! Like I CARE about YOUR opinion!"

General Barracuda says: "Let's get one thing straight right NOW, Snaptrap! You're ONLY here because TIGRESS, for whatever reasons she might have, VOUCHED for your innocence, and said you did NOT make the Fake Pendant of Life!" Snaptrap asks: "You KNEW that wasn't ME?!" Tigress says: "No offense, but that plan was WAY too smart for you!" Snaptrap groans, and he says: "Figures YOU'D be snarky about it!" General Barracuda says: "But remember; you are here on PROBATION! Make one slip-up, and you are GONE!" Snaptrap groans, and he says: "Fine! I'll stick to my REGULAR villainy as a Temple Guard, just so long as I actually get to BE evil!" Otto says: "By the way, what happened to Aang?" Snaptrap says: "I left him STRANDED on Pitcairn Island the moment we got there!" Pearl asks: "Why did you do that?!" Snaptrap says: "We...needed space!" Larry says: "You can't argue with him there!" General Barracuda says: "All right! You three get into your Temple Guard costumes, and you each pick a room to guard!" They do as they are told, and leave the stage! General Barracuda says: "As for the rest of us, there's a challenge to get to!" Sniz says: "Right! Olmec, tell us what today's Legend is!" Olmec says: "Today's legend, is the Legend of The Box of Pandora!" A Hispanic female voice says: "Did somebody say MY name?!" Marlene gasps in shock and says: "No WAY!!!!" Dog says: "It couldn't be HER!!!!" And to everybody's surprise, the image of a 15 year old DORA the Explorer appears, and she says: "Hola, mi se Dora! I FINALLY found this show! I don't know why it took my MAP so long to find it! Also, I felt quite DISTRESSED about NOT receiving an invitation to ANY of these seasons so far!" Sway-Sway says: "You WEREN'T wanted!" Dora says: "Not want--! Oh, my! Want an AWKWARD situation! I HAD hoped it had been merely due to some oversight! Well, perhaps I might be better suited to being some kind of nurse the way Fondue USED to be!" Sniz says: "And...you're not offended, Senorita Dora?"

Dora says: "Why NO, Sniz! And to show you I bear no ill will, I'll TELL you something about today's legend! Listen WELL, all of you! The Box of Pandora is INDEED both a blessing and a curse; filled with the troubles of humanity, and the hope that it takes to fight them! But, should a direct DESCENDANT of THE Pandora open the Box, it will inflict a CURSE, on EVERYONE who has ever WRONGED her family, and THEY will be DOOMED for ALL Eternity!" Harvey asks: "What kind of DOOM?! And I'm only TWELVE; I actually LIKED your show! The first one, where you were younger, not the newer one, where you were older!" Dora says: "What kind of doom? You don't want to know! And for liking at LEAST one of my shows, you shall be spared!" Keswick says: "I don't see as to HOW that pertains to ANY of us! You're NOT a contestant on this show, so how CAN you open it?" Dora asks: "Who do you THINK put Pandora's Box INTO the Temple in the FIRST place?!" Buhdeuce freaks out, and he says: "No way! You ALREADY opened the Box?! Why?!" Dora says: "Because you have all DELIBERATELY chosen to ignore ME, and every other character from Nicktoons Jr. ALL THIS TIME! You act like WE don't even exist, despite the fact that Nick Jr. makes up at LEAST 33.33% of your average demographic, OR, 33.32% MORE of a demographic than 'Teen Titans Go!' gets on a daily basis! But, I WOULD be WILLING to close the Box, and thusly UN-CURSE all of you on one condition, IF you make me a CONTESTANT on this season!" Sniz says: "We would have an ODD number of contestants, than. Who would we get to even it out on such short notice?"

A familiar voice says: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, AMAZING!!!!" Bubble Bass gasps, and he says: "No WAY!!!!" And in the doorway, stands a fully grown-up Rube Goldfish! Rube's eyes fall on Bubble Bass, and he says: "DAD?!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Rube?! Is THAT really you?!" Rube asks: "How could it be anyone else?!" Bubble Bass says: "But, you're STILL a baby!" Rube says: "Yes, and no! I am a baby in the present, but I come from 20 years in the future!" Bulma says: "Like YOU'RE special! My son did that as well!" Rube says: "Maybe so! But unlike your son, I didn't come to bring doom and gloom, I came here to have fun! And hang out with BOTH my father AND my grandfather, General Barracuda!" General Barracuda asks: "What?! How did you KNOW I was your grandfather?!" Rube says: "Because YOU just told me!" General Barracuda is flabbergasted, and he says: "I can't believe I fell for that! Anyways, it looks like the situation has resolved itself!" Sniz says: "Indeed! All right, to make SURE Dora IS the one who finds and CLOSES the Box, you two will have to WAIT until we find out WHICH two teams get to do the Temple Run, before we can officially add you two into the roster." Dora says: "Fine with me, I'm not going anywhere!" Rube says: "And I've waited THIS long to hang out with my dad, I can wait a little longer!" Bubble Bass asks: "Wait! What do you MEAN, 'Waited this long'?!" And Blonda tenses up in nervousness!

(Confessional) Blonda breathes into a paper bag and she says: "Holy H-E Double Hockey Sticks! How could it be, that my own son, GROWN up, would travel into the past, to hang out with his father?! I was hoping to move the goal-posts, keep Rube Goldfish from finding out his father was a nudist! But now he's here! And if Bubble Bass finds out I was planning on moving the goal-posts, he might ACTUALLY leave me, which means I gave up my immortality for NOTHING! Not good!" / Bubble Bass says: "How could it be that it's only NOW, that my son is getting to hang out with me?! And he had to come from 20 years in the future, to do it NOW?! I need to have a talk with Blonda and find out what gives!" / Bulma scoffs and she says: "How do you like THAT?! Your son does something unique and innovative, and suddenly, you find others who just HAVE to copy it! Go figure!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "In any case, it's time to reveal how each team is going to get across the Moat! We've got ropes suspended from one end of the Moat, to the other. While holding onto the ropes, you must step on every single box between the starting line and the finish line. If you slip and fall, you'll have to go back to the beginning! Which every single member of your team has finished crossing, you will ring your team's pedestal gong, to verify that you have finished! Remember, the place you finish in this race, will determine the team-ups for the upcoming challenge!" Super Chum says: "I personally don't care WHICH team we have to play with, just so long as our team DOESN'T have to play with the Silver Snakes again!" And Rube Goldfish looks concerned!

(Confessional) Rube says: "I obviously can't tell Super Chum this, but I have reasons for NEEDING the Green Monkeys and the Silver Snakes to work TOGETHER for this challenge! Now, normally, a contestant isn't allowed to USE magic in this challenge! But than, I'm not a contestant YET, am I?" / Super Chum says: "The day I treat the Silver Snakes like they're an actual team, is the day when they EARN my respect, which I highly doubt will EVER happen!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Since every team besides the Silver Snakes have two extra members, two extra members will need to sit out this challenge!" Pearl says: "Larry and I will sit this one out! Our massive muscle size might cause the boxes to break!" Chameleon says: "I'll sit this one out, because I don't want to take the chance that I'll short-circuit my Changing Suit!" Yakety says: "And I've finally gotten my fur to look the way I want it to, so I'll sit this one out as well!" Super Chum says: "And I..." Rube holds out his hand, and blows magic dust onto Super Chum and Po, and Po, in a trance, says: "And both I and Super Chum will sit this one out, we don't want our strength to break the ropes or boxes, either." (Confessional) Po shakes his head, and he says: "Why did I just say that? We can control our own strength! I wonder if Dora had something to do with it?" / Dora says: "I don't know WHY Po just acted all WEIRD all of a sudden, all I know is, the reason I'm here, is to avenge the loss of my beloved Boots! He was my childhood FRIEND, and the MINUTE he stopped looking young and cute, my parents took him away, and gave him to that TRAMP Jane Goodall! That's why I NEED to be on this show! I need to WIN the money, in order to buy Boots back from her! I mean, $44.44 million will make a LOT of people change their minds!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Everyone get into positions, and we'll play Eddie Money's hit song 'Walk On Water' to help set the mood! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" /

During the montage, the Green Monkeys are back to performing well again, while the Silver Snakes are performing DOZENS of times better than they ever have before, while the Red Jaguars and the Blue Barracudas are having an unusually hard time completing the challenge, due to Rube Goldberg blowing his magic dust their way, in order to make them trip and slip up! /

Eddie Money sings: "Well if I could walk on water, and if I could find some way to prove. If I could walk on water would you believe in me? My love is so true. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Well I'm no angel, now, I'll admit. I made a few bad moves I should regret. I hurt you once or so you said. Just one more chance is all you get. Didn't mean to do you wrong again. Worse things have been done by better men. Baby, baby, don't, don't treat me this way. I know, yes, I've got to pay now; I'm still paying. Well, if I could walk on water, and if I could find some way to prove. If I could walk on water would you believe in me, my love is true. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, oh! All along, I told you lies. To err is human, forgive is divine. Don't be a fool, don't settle the score! Cause I can't take it no more, I can't take it! Well, if I could walk on water; and if I could find some way to prove. If I could walk on water, would you believe in me? My love is true! Well, if I could walk on water (if I could); is that what I'm gonna have to do? If I could walk on water, would be you believe in me? My love is so true! Do I have to walk, walk, walk on water for you? Hey baby, baby, there's a little time, let's spend it together. We'll get over what we left behind, there's our future together! Yeah, well, let's stay together! (Guitar Solo) Well, if I could walk on water, and if I could find some way to prove. If I could walk on water, would you believe in me? My love is true! My love is so true, do I have to walk; oh, walk on water for you? If I had to walk, girl. If I had to walk, walk, walk. Do I have to walk on water, walk on water for you? Do I have to walk on water? Do I have to find some way to prove? Do I have to walk on water, walk on water for you? Do I have to walk on water? Do I have to find some way to prove? Yeah, yeah, walk on water, walk on water for you!" /

And the montage ends with both the Green Monkeys and the Silver Snakes, unexpectedly finishing first together! Sniz says: "Unbelievable! What an upset! The Silver Snakes ACTUALLY finished a challenge FIRST, with the Green Monkeys for once! Let's hope they can keep up the momentum! So by default, that means the Red Jaguars and the Blue Barracudas will be working together!" Taotie goes up to Super Chum, and Taotie says: "I guess that makes YOU want to treat us, with a little more respect now, doesn't it?" Super Chum says: "Your face still looks like an absolute MESS!" Super Chum grabs Zarbon's hand mirror, and holds it up to Taotie's face! Super Chum says: "Just LOOK at yourself!" Taotie looks in the mirror, and actually smiles! Taotie says: "On the contrary, I didn't think I looked THIS good!" (Confessional) Super Chum says: "I may know the reasons WHY evil villains do the things they do, but I don't think I'll EVER understand Taotie's thought process!" / Taotie says: "For my sake this season, I have to play the LONG game, and not get rattled by little insults! That's what tripped me up the last time! I just got to vent out my frustrations in a healthy way, once these challenges are over!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "We've got to get some of our contestants dried up, but don't go away; because we'll be right back with the Steps Of Knowledge, the challenge, and the Temple Run for this episode! So stay tuned for the second half of this episode, of Total Cartoon Legends!" / (Commercial Break) /

After the commercials end, the Contestants are at the Steps Of Knowledge, Squidward is tapping BOTH of his left feet tentacles impatiently! Finally, Squidward says: "All right, Spongebob! Enough of this 'Mature' charade! Stop 'Acting' like you're all grown up, and MAYBE I'll go jellyfishing with you!" Spongebob asks: "Who's 'Acting'? This is NOT an act! And you DON'T want to go Jellyfishing with ME! You just want to yell and SCREAM at me like the LAST 431 times I offered you that!" Squidward, gasps, but honestly CAN'T think of all the times that happened, so Squidward asks: "When were the LAST 430 times you asked me that?!" Spongebob asks: "Does it matter? I'm NOT going to ask you to hang out with me anymore, because you just want to use that as an excuse to shoot me DOWN again!" Squidward scoffs, and he says: "Like I NEED to hang out with you! You're BLUFFING, Spongebob Squarepants! You're NOT mature! Two more days of this 'Act', you'll realize the folly of YOUR ways, and you'll come CRAWLING back to annoying me!" And Spongebob actually LEAVES in a huff to use the Confessional! And Squidward pathetically whispers: "Please!"

(Confessional) Spongebob groans, and he says: "Squidward has some NERVE, to say that I'm only 'Acting' like I'm mature! And where does he get off? Thinking that I'm going to fall for his ploy to go Jellyfishing with him?! I KNOW that HE knows that Jellyfishing is his LEAST favorite activity in the whole world! And I'm not going to fall for whatever reason he needs MY attention! I am DONE with Squidward FOREVER!!!!" / Squidward shivers in nervousness, and he says: "I...I...I'm Jonesing, man! I don't know how much longer I can last without Spongebob ANNOYING me! This is insane! Is this what an IRONIC Nightmare feels like?! Is Spongebob doing this ON PURPOSE?! All because of the little, TINY mistake of shooting him down 431 times?! Okay, maybe it's a HUGE mistake, because my creative talents are wasting away to NOTHING without Spongebob to bug me! What does everyone EXPECT of ME?!" Than Squidward actually HAS an Epiphany, and he says: "Okay, needlessly and carelessly shooting Spongebob down for no good reason, 431 times was WRONG!!!! I did...a LOT of lousy things! Now how about showing a little FORGIVENESS?! A drop?!" / Bubble Bass says: "I don't think Squidward has realized this yet, but the only way Spongebob will even CONSIDER Squidward's offer of friendship, is if Squidward PERSONALLY apologizes for ALL 431 incidents of having shot down Spongebob's offers of friendship! It will be interesting to see what gives first; Squidward's stubbornness, or his sanity? I'm personally banking on Squidward losing his sanity, FIRST!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Let's not waste anymore time, contestants! It's time to find out more about the Legend of Pandora's Box, from Olmec himself! Olmec, take it away!"

Olmec says: "Since around 675 B.C.E., the Ancient Greeks told of a cautionary tale, revolving around Pandora's Box. Shaped in the form of a Grecian jar that they called a 'Pithos', it is believed that Pandora's Box came to the world, after Promethius stole fire from the heavens. Filled with wrath, Zeus, the King of the Gods, took vengeance by presenting Pandora, to Promethius' brother, Epimetheus. Pandora opened a jar left in her care, containing sickness, death, and many other unspecified evils which were than released into the world. Though she hastened to close the container, only one thing was left behind, the essence of Hope, which the Greeks called 'Elpis'. From this incident, the Greeks coined the idiom 'To Open a Pandora's Box', meaning to do or start something that will cause many unforeseen problems. A modern day equivalent, would be, 'To Open a Can of Worms'. However, modern evidence suggests that from a poem dating from the 6th century B.C.E., indicates that the opener of Pandora's Box, might have actually been a generic man, or even Epimetheus himself, who opened the box out of foolishness. In any case, the essence of Hope, is also seen as 'Expectation', both for Good, and for Bad things. But some have taken an optimistic reading, that Hope is preserved for the benefit of humans. The story of Pandora's Box went on to inspire three different French plays, as well as two poems in English. Sometime after 430 B.C.E., Pandora's Box became lost to the mists of time, and found it's way to the Temple! Your job is to retrieve Pandora's Box, and bring it back to the Temple Entrance!"

Sniz says: "Thanks Olmec! Where can Pandora's Box be found?" Olmec says: "Pandora's Box can be found in the Dark Forest!" Sniz says: "All right, contestants! Now ordinarily, there would be a chance to win an Immunity Pendant; but since none of you can win one; we will instead present whichever team gets down the Steps Of Knowledge first, with a Pendant of Life that they will need for the Temple Run! And, depending on how the teams do, we will do either one or two challenges, to see which teams will get the two Pendants of Life, needed to complete the Temple Run! Olmec, take it away!" Olmec asks: "When was the cautionary tale of Pandora's Box, first believed to be told?" Bulma steps down first, and she says: "675 B.C.E.!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Bulma and Kitty go down a step! Kitty says: "Wow! We're ACTUALLY doing this! I'm impressed!" Bulma says: "Just be thankful that we actually HAVE some INCENTIVE to win this time!" Olmec asks: "What is Pandora's Box believed to be shaped like, and what did the Ancient Greeks call it?" Bulma steps down again, and she answers: "A Grecian jar, that they called a 'Pithos'!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And the Silver Snakes go down another step! Tigress says: "Hold it! How can THEY possibly move faster than ME?! Nobody moves FASTER than ME!" Gerald says: "First time for everything, Tigress!" Tigress says: "Watch your MOUTH, Fly Boy, or YOU'LL be eliminated after Judy!" (Confessional) Gerald asks: "Excuse me? 'Fly Boy'?! Is THAT what she's calling me now?" / Tigress says: "I KNOW that Dora is SOMEHOW responsible for this!" / Dora chuckles, and she says: "Let's just call this PAYBACK for all the times the Silver Snakes have been HUMILIATED this season!" (End Confessional)

Olmec asks: "When did Pandora's Box first come to the world?" And Bulma rings in AGAIN, and answers: "After Promethius stole fire from the heavens!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And the Silver Snakes step down to the bottom of the Steps Of Knowledge! Sniz says: "Most impressive, Silver Snakes! You're two for two so far, your MOST impressive score yet! Can they make it three for three? We'll have to wait and see! For now, it's time to go to the Challenge arena!" Bulma says: "See what I did for YOU, Green Monkeys? I just helped secure our first Pendant of Life for the Temple Run! You're welcome." Stimpy says: "You're UP to SOMETHING! You CAN'T move FASTER than Tigress! Nobody CAN!" Bulma says: "It's not MY fault if Tigress' buzzer didn't work properly!" Marlene says: "So, you CLAIM!" Bulma asks: "Oh, why am I ALWAYS the FIRST to get BLAMED whenever ANYTHING suspicious happens on this show?! I mean, BESIDES my past track record?!" Dog says: "I was going to say!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "Believe me, if I was the one who sabotaged the Red Jaguars' buzzer, don't you think I would be the FIRST to admit my GENIUS of the plan?! Whoever did it, I'll give them credit, but they are WAY out of their LEAGUE if they think they can compete with ME!" / Dora chuckles, and she says: "Bulma has no idea what I'm CAPABLE of, or what lengths I'll go to in order to win! After all, she's NEVER had the help of MILLIONS of children watching her on a daily basis, and ALWAYS helping her pick the right path to take! With all of MY experience, I know EXACTLY the right path to take! Or Map's name ISN'T 'Map'!" / Stimpy says: "As hard as it is to believe, I think Bulma MIGHT actually be telling the TRUTH for a change! Trouble is, if SHE didn't sabotage Tigress' buzzer, who DID?!" / Marlene scoffs, and she says: "So much for hoping Bulma would AVOID trouble this season! If we DIDN'T need to win this challenge, we would THROW it just for a chance of getting RID of Bulma! But, seeing as how such an option would also put ME at risk, we HAVE to win it! It's not ideal, but it's the best course of action we can take!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "All right! It's time to reveal the challenge! After Pandora's Box was opened, a bunch of evil stuff escaped into the world! In this challenge, you are to retrieve all the evil stuff that escaped from the box, represented by red balls! You will grab as many red balls as you can, and like playing basketball, you must shoot the balls into a replica of Pandora's box, hanging from beyond the three point line! Whichever two teams score the most points by the end of three minutes, will win a Pendant of Life for the Temple Run! So, if the Green Monkeys and Silver Snakes win this, that means it's game over for the Red Jaguars and the Blue Barracudas!" Tigress says: "Or in other words; we LOSE, I use MY Immunity Pendant of Life to vote off whichever two losers I WANT to!" Sway-Sway asks: "LOSERS?!" Tigress says: "Yeah! Because nobody wants to HANG with such 'Also Ran', run of the mill DUCKS like you and Buhdeuce, because YOU are BOTH nothing but DUMB-BUTTS!!!!" Sway-Sway angrily yells: "That DOES it, Tigress! It's TIME you put your money where your MOUTH is! I'd like to see you score a SINGLE point, without using EITHER of your hands! And spoiler alert, you CAN'T!" Tigress twitches, and she says: "Want to BET?!" Sway-Sway says: "I've been looking forward to the opportunity to take you DOWN a notch!" Tigress says: "Fine! But when I INEVITABLY score ALL the points for OUR team, YOU have to vote YOURSELF OFF!!!!" Sway-Sway says: "And, when being able to use BOTH of my hands to play while you CAN'T, I'll score all of the points for OUR team, and YOU have to vote yourself off, WITHOUT using your Pendant of Life!"

And Buhdeuce gasps in shock! (Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "Tigress might be CRAZY competitive, but there's no way she'd take a risk THAT big, RIGHT?!" (End Confessional) Tigress impulsively says: "You're ON, Sway-Sway! And I WON'T miss! You're looking at the World CHAMPION of making baskets using ONLY her tail!" Sway-Sway says: "I still won't back down! Breadwinners don't give up, they l-l-l-LEVEL UP!!!!" And Sway-Sway sports a Harlem Globetrotters Jersey, a headband, wristbands, and leg-bands to go with his transformation! Tigress says: "Ho-hum. What a useless transformation. You changed your clothes, so what?!" Sway-Sway says: "Just wait!" And Rube Goldfish watches nervously! (Confessional) Rube says: "Under normal circumstances, Sway-Sway and Tigress would BOTH be able to score a lot of points! But the Green Monkeys and the Silver Snakes HAVE to be the ones to take the Temple Run! I know they won't appreciate this, but I'll have to use my magic on them! Besides, it will be NICE to wipe the SMUG smile off of Tigress' FACE!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Before we get to playing the challenge, each team besides the Silver Snakes will need to sit out two members!" Harvey says: "Fee and I will sit this one out, our small size would only slow the others down." Stimpy says: "Marlene and I will sit this one out." Marlene asks: "We ARE?!" Stimpy whispers to her: "We need to keep an eye on Bulma Briefs, and make sure she doesn't sabotage the OTHER contestants!" Marlene nods, and she says: "Good call!" (Confessional) Marlene says: "Bulma IS the type of person who WOULD sabotage the other contestants, just to make herself look good by comparison! It's good that Stimpy can think of these things!" / Stimpy says: "I'm just thinking about the safety of my fellow contestants. After all, if I don't, I'm not sure who would!" (End Confessional)

Buhdeuce says: "I can't compete against my best Bro, Sway-Sway! I need to sit this one out, to!" Gerald says: "And I ain't messing with Tigress when she's all cray-cray, I'm sitting out, to!" Sniz says: "All right! We'll put three minutes on the clock, and to set the mood for this basketball challenge right, we will play Steve Miller Band's original version of 'Fly Like An Eagle'! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" / During the montage, the Green Monkeys and the Silver Snakes actually put ASIDE their differences and work together to score MANY points, while Rube Goldfish KEEPS using his magic dust to ensure that both Tigress AND Sway-Sway MISS every single basket they try to make! / Steve Miller sings: "Tick-tock-tick, doo, doo, doo-doo. Tick-tock-tick, doo, doo, doo-doo. Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future. Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future. I want to fly like an eagle, to the sea. Fly like an eagle, let my spirit carry me. I want to fly like an eagle, till I'm free. All through the revolution! Feed the babies, who don't have enough to eat. Shoe the children, with no shoes on their feet. House the people, livin' in the street. Oh, oh, there's a solution. I want to fly like an eagle, to the sea. Fly like an eagle, let my spirit carry me. I want to fly like an eagle, till I'm free. Fly through the revolution! Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future. Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future. Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future. Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future. (Scats) I want to fly like an eagle, to the sea. Fly like an eagle, let my spirit carry me. I want to fly like an eagle, till I'm free. Fly through the revolution! Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future. Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future!" /

And the song and montage ends, as the challenge ends! Sniz says: "All right! Time is up! It's time to reveal who has the most points! The Green Monkeys and Silver Snakes, scored 1, 4, 7, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40 points! The Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas scored, 1, 2, 3, 4 points! The evidence is clear! The winners are, the Green Monkeys and Silver Snakes who have just won their second Pendant of Life! They're going to the Temple! Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas, I guess the Silver Snakes FINALLY got a win for once! Your fates will be decided after the Temple Run! For now, it's time to keep our promise! Dora, and Rube Goldfish, come on down!" And Dora and Rube Goldfish walk to the Challenge Arena. Sniz says: "As we are bound by our promise, Rube Goldfish, from this moment on, you are now a member of the Green Monkeys!" Rube says: "Amazing!" Sniz says: "And Dora, you are now a member of the Silver Snakes!" Dora says: "Hmmm, never really saw SILVER as my color! Still, I suppose I can find SOMEWAY to make it work!" Sniz says: "And to make sure Dora is the one who finds the box, the Green Monkeys will have to go first. Who wants to brave the Temple?" Dog says: "I'll go! I need to avenge Darwin!" Wally says: "Wow! Dog, that's really noble of you!" (Confessional) Wally says: "I hope the time never comes when I HAVE to avenge someone! But if it ever does, I will do it will all the abilities and skills that I possess!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "All right! It's time to pay attention, as Olmec is going to tell you how to get through the Temple!" Sniz says: "First, run into the Mummy's Crypt! Pull on the right book, but beware of a Temple Guard! Next, go to the ledge, swing on the rope, and knock down the column! Than, climb up into the Room of Lights! Spin the Light Fixture, and go down into the Room of Paintings! Push the right buttons, and go into the Emperor's Chamber! Smash the clay pots to find the key, which will allow you to go into the Shrine of The Silver Monkey! Assemble the Monkey in the correct way, which will allow you to go down the Well! At the bottom of the Well, smash through the Stone Wall, which will allow you to enter the Dark Forest! There, you can grab the Legend of Pandora's Box! Place the key into the right tree, which will allow you to go into the Pharaoh's Tomb! Find the right key, which will allow you to go into the Room of Keys! Find the right key to the right key-hole, and head back through the Pit! Than, go through the Cave of Sighs, and back out to the Temple Entrance! May the odds be ever in your favor!" Sniz says: "All right! You two know what to do! Let's put three minutes on the clock! On your mark, get set, GO!!!!"

And Dog, takes off, and Sniz narrates the action as he goes along! Sniz says: "Dog is heading into the Mummy's Crypt, and Kaput as a Temple Guard appears right off the bat! Dog gives him a Pendant of Life, and he's found the right book! Across the ledge, he's swinging on the rope, and he's knocked over the column! Up he climbs, into the Room of Light's! He's spinning the Light fixture, and he's heading into the Room of Paintings! Snaptrap as a Temple Guard has him! Go, Dora, go! There she goes, through the Mummy's Crypt, across the Ledge, up into the Room of Lights, and down into the Room of Paintings! Now she has to press the right buttons! She does it! Into the Emperor's Chamber! It's Johnny Krill as a Temple Guard! She gives up her Pendant, and now she's smashing the clay pots to find the key! She's found it! Into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey! She's got the Base, she's got the stomach, and now she's twisting the head onto it's proper position! It's clicked! Down into the well! She's pulling herself down, and she's smashing through the wall! She's in the Dark Forest! She's got the Box! All the doors are open! Through the Pharaoh's Tomb, through the Room of Keys, across the Pit! Now she's going through the Ledges! Dora's made it out, with 30 seconds to spare!" Dora says: "Of course I did, and I'm a woman of my word. This box shall now be CLOSED!!!!" (SNAP!!!!) Dora says: "Everyone here is now un-cursed!" Sniz says: "Right! And just to make sure that Box STAYS closed...WANDA!!!!" Wanda poofs in, and she says: "You yelled?" Sniz says: "I wish that Pandora's Box NOW, and in perpetuity for ETERNITY, and maybe even longer, remains closed to EVERYBODY and EVERYTHING!" Wanda says: "You've got it!" (POOF!!!!) And the Box is magically sealed tight!

Sniz says: "All right! The Green Monkeys and the Silver Snakes both now have a new contestant, and, the Silver Snakes FINALLY won a Temple Run! Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas, it wasn't a good day to be ANY of you! Freshen yourselves up, and prepare to face an Elimination Ceremony!" Marlene goes up to Rube, and she says: "Now, don't take this the wrong way, but, you didn't happen to use MAGIC on the Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas to make them mess up, did you?" Rube winces, and he honestly replies: "Well, yes, but I wasn't a CONTESTANT when I did that! Am I trouble?" Marlene excitedly asks: "Are you KIDDING?! I've been waiting FOREVER for someone who was able to put TIGRESS in her place! I mean, yeah, she's MAD, but that's REALLY not different from any other day! It's fine with me, just don't do it as LONG as you're a contestant, and you'll be fine!" Rube nods, and says: "10-4, Marlene!" Bulma says: "Dora, do you mind talking to me for a moment?" Dora says: "Sure! What's on your mind?!" Bulma AGGRESSIVELY grabs Dora's arms, and Bulma asks: "Do you HONESTLY think you can PLAY on MY skill level?! I was SABOTAGING contestants while YOU were STILL saying 'Say map, say map'! You may THINK you're smart, but you are NOWHERE near MY genius! I'll let it slide THIS time cause we won, but don't you EVER interfere when it comes to US winning EVER again!" And Bulma walks away with the rest of her team, and Dora says: "Don't worry, I WON'T interfere with YOU winning ever again! Because if I have MY way, the Silver Snakes will NEVER win again!"

(Confessional) Dora says: "Tragic. I would hope that Bulma would see me a potential ally. But, since she views me as a threat, who am I to disappoint her? So, if it's a threat she wants, it's a threat she'll get!" / Rube says: "I'm just glad that I'm a contestant now, and I don't have to rely on magic! Hopefully, if I'm right, Blonda is introducing ME to Bubble Bass right now! I mean, not 'ME' me, my baby self! It's...kind of complicated when there's TWO of me around!" (End Confessional) In Blonda's trailer, Blonda is waiting for someone to come to her door. Blonda asks: "Bubble Bass, is that you?!" Bubble Bass says: "YES, Blonda, and we NEED to have a talk!" Blonda sighs, and she says: "Come in!" Bubble Bass opens the door, and he says: "I think that given the circumstances, I have been EXTREMELY patient up until now, but if you THINK, that you can keep ME a secret to our OWN son for 20 YEARS, THAN--!" Blonda sighs, and she says: "Bubble Bass, I don't! I...should apologize. I've...been too shallow. I was SO ashamed of the way I looked when I was pregnant with Rube! I know I should've gone out with you, I WANTED to! But, I just didn't like LOOKING the way I did! And, I thought if Rube SAW you as you are now, he would be SO ashamed of me!" Bubble Bass asks: "Why would you think THAT?!" Blonda sighs, and she says: "It doesn't matter. I'm going to do what I should have done from the start. Bubble Bass, this is your son, Rube Goldfish!" And she hands the infant Rube Goldfish to Bubble Bass! Bubble Bass happily says: "Rube, it's so good to finally hold you! Listen, Rube, I just want you to know that whatever you choose to do with your life, I'll be proud of you! You are the greatest gift I could've ever hoped for! I know that someday, you'll accomplish great things!" And the tiny Rube hugs Bubble Bass's right arm fin, and kisses it! Blonda says: "Rube LOVES you! I'm...sorry I was so shallow! I...guess I was a victim of 'Immortal Immaturity'. I never had a reason to mature...until now. I...know it might be difficult with me, but I WANT to be the wife you deserve!" Bubble Bass says: "You've already made a good start, by keeping your promise to me!" /

At the Elimination Ceremony, the Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas are waiting to vote! Sniz says: "All right, teams! You both know the drill! Pick a pair of losers, slide your mini-Pendant into the coin slot, and if you're safe; you'll receive a Chocolate Pendant of Life! Just be aware, one or more contestants might play their Immunity Pendant of Life tonight! With that being said, VOTE!!!!" And everyone quickly votes for the contestants they MOST want voted off! Sniz says: "Voting is over, so it's time--." Tigress says: "Hold it! I HAVE the Immunity Pendant of Life and I am playing it RIGHT NOW!!!!" Buhdeuce screams: "Oh, NO!!!!" Sniz says: "Tigress' Pendant is real, that means ALL votes cast for Tigress will NOT count! In fact, I'm going to reveal the name of EVERY single contestant who VOTED for Tigress, because I CAN! Otto Rocket, Sandy Cheeks, Judy Funny, Gerald, Pearl, Larry, Sway-Sway, Harvey Beaks, Buhdeuce, Gonard, Dudley, Zarbon, Chameleon, Fee, Squidward Tentacles. In fact, the only TWO contestants who DIDN'T vote for Tigress, were Tigress, and Bubble Bass!" Tigress says: "Well it's nice to know that not ALL of you are total SELL-OUTS!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "You would THINK they would KNOW better than to TRY to vote you off when they KNOW you have an Immunity Pendant!" Sniz says: "Well, to avoid repeating myself, I'll simply give the Chocolate Pendant of Life, to EVERYONE except the three OTHER contestants who got the most votes! Sway-Sway, Buhdeuce, and Judy Funny!" And everyone else gets a Chocolate Pendant of Life! Sniz says: "Contestants, this IS the Final Chocolate Pendant of Life!" Sway-Sway looks nervously at Buhdeuce, Buhdeuce looks hopefully at Sway-Sway, and Judy Funny just looks nervous in general.

Sniz says: "And it goes to, Buhdeuce!" And Sniz throws the Chocolate Pendant at Buhdeuce, but Buhdeuce is TOO much in shock to make a grab for it! Buhdeuce says: "NO!!!! Sway-Sway, I can't LOSE you! This is SO totally unfair!" Tigress says: "UNFAIR?! I'll tell YOU what's unfair! Having to spend this ENTIRE game show, surrounded by HALF-WITS and INCOMPETENT losers, when I can win the game SO MUCH faster BY MYSELF!!!!" Buhdeuce angrily says: "Tigress, you just crossed a line! Sway-Sway might be leaving, but I won't forget this injustice for a MINUTE! Mark my words, Tigress, I will use every single one of my Breadwinner skills to DEFEAT YOU!!!!" Tigress smugly says: "Buhdeuce, I would LOVE to see you try! Of course, I'd love to see YOU inevitably force to pick ME to win this entire season, when there ARE no other adequate choices left!" Sway-Sway says: "Don't worry about me, Buhdeuce! I know you can do this! You've been training for this opportunity your whole life! This may be as far as I can see you through, but now you've got to summon up all your courage and all your skills, and go the rest of the way!" Buhdeuce sheds a single tear, wipes it, and he says: "Don't worry, Sway-Sway! You can count on me!" Judy dramatically says: "So, this is how the great performer LEAVES the stage! Alone, with only a mysterious duck by her side, as she exits stage left, to a fate unknown! Cast off into the CRUEL, COLD Wind, as she must now ROCKET down a Rail, as fast as the Rocket Mine Cart can take her! Adieu, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow!" And everyone except Tigress claps at her speech! Judy says: "That scene ought to win ME the Academy Award!" Sniz says: "Judy and Sway-Sway, the teams have spoken! It's time to put on your helmets and buckle up for a bumpy ride!" Judy and Sway-Sway both put on their helmets, enter into the Mine Cart of Shame, and buckle up!

Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Than 3, 2, 1, BLAST OFF!!!!" And Judy and Sway-Sway rocket down the rails, and through the Mine Shaft of Losers out of sight! Sniz says: "All right! We've gained two contestants, and we've lost two! So, no net loss, no net gain, for now! We still have 34 contestants, and any two of them can be eliminated next! We're off next episode, due to it being a Performance Review! But make sure to stay tuned, for the next exciting episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "I HOPE you will tune in!" / Stinger: Judy and Sway-Sway's portal, ends up dumping the TWO of them into the middle of a room filled with pictures of a LOT of famous comedians, and some of the great clothes that they have worn! Sway-Sway says: "I don't think I've ever been in THIS place before! Do you know where it is?" Judy says: "I sure do! This is the Comedy Club in Hermosa Beach, California! Any comedian who is ANYONE, has tested their comedic chops here!" Sway-Sway says: "Cool! Want to give it a go?" Judy says: "I'm more of a dramatic actress than a comedienne. I'll let YOU take the stage this time!" Sway-Sway says: "Sure! I'll try anything once!" Sway-Sway steps up to the microphone, and he says: "Boy! Tigers, huh? They say to catch a tiger by the tail, but who would want to CATCH a tiger?!" (Drum-kick, and laughter!) Sway-Sway says: "The only thing SHARPER than a tiger's reflexes, are their CLAWS!!!!" (Drum-kick, and louder laughter) Sway-Sway says: "If I had a dollar, for every tiger I DIDN'T like, I'd HAVE one dollar!" (Drum-kick, loud laughter, and applause!) Sway-Sway bows, as roses and other flowers are thrown on stage! Sway-Sway says: "Thank you! I'll be here all night!" /

Episode Notes: Two new contestants, Dora The Explorer (as a 15 year old), and FUTURE Adult Rube Goldfish (20 years old), join the contest in this episode, as a Silver Snake and a Green Monkey respectively. Kaput, Johnny Krill, and Snaptrap, return to this show as the NEW Temple Guards for this season! Featured Songs in this episode: "Evil Woman" by Electric Light Orchestra, "Walk On Water" by Eddie Money, and "Fly Like An Eagle" by Steve Miller Band. This marks the first time that a Nicktoon Jr. character has become a contestant on the "Total Cartoon" show, and the first time that the Silver Snakes have EVER won a Temple Run! First time this season that Sniz has revealed WHICH contestants TRIED to vote someone (Tigress) out, and just like last season, Bubble Bass is the ONLY other contestant who DIDN'T try to vote her out! Judy Funny and Sway-Sway are eliminated in this episode! Eliminated Contestants: 46. Kowalski. 45. Private. 44. Kaput. 43. Johnny Krill. 42. Haggis McHaggis. 41. Monster Krumholtz. 40. Aang. 39. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 38. Darwin. 37. Heffer Wolfe. 36. Judy Funny. 35. Sway-Sway. Remaining Contestants: Daggett Beaver, Silver Snakes. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Invader Zim, Silver Snakes. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Green Monkeys. Kitty Katswell, Silver Snakes. Harvey Beaks, Blue Barracudas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Blonda, Silver Snakes. Taotie, Silver Snakes. Tigress, Red Jaguars. Gonard, Blue Barracudas. Po, Green Monkeys. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Blue Barracudas. Zarbon, Blue Barracudas. Bulma Briefs, Silver Snakes. Chameleon, Blue Barracudas. Fee, Blue Barracudas. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Blue Barracudas. Yakety Yak, Silver Snakes. Squidward Tentacles, Blue Barracudas. NEW Contestant Dora the Explorer, Silver Snakes. NEW Contestant (Future Adult) Rube Goldfish, Green Monkeys. /

Personal Notes: Okay, I know I SAID I wasn't going to have any NEW contestants JOIN this show while it was going on, but I just had to wonder, when ELSE was I going to get a chance to INCLUDE a Nicktoon Jr. character as a contestant on this show?! This might be the only opportunity I get to do so! Of course, I couldn't have an odd number of contestants, which is why I also decided to introduce a Future Adult Rube Goldfish into the competition! Being the newest addition to the "Spongebob Squarepants" cartoon character cast, he also has the most potential, as he hasn't been featured in that many stories yet! I felt Rube Goldfish would serve as a nice contrast to Dora, a former "White Dwarf Starlet" jaded by her childhood success, as opposed to an Actual Nice Guy, who just wants to spend time with his father, regardless of whether that involves traveling into the past to be with him! As for Judy and Sway-Sway, they found out the HARD way that if you MESS with the tiger, you OFTEN get the claws! At least Buhdeuce is still around, to carry on the fight for both himself AND for Sway-Sway! I hope you enjoy the First Performance Review for this season (as soon as I'm able to write it!) Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

To celebrate my winning an award, I'm going to re-run the two most recent episodes of "Total Cartoon Legends", starting with the least recent one. Enjoy! / Instead of the normal show open, a tropical jungle setting is shown, and the words: "Total Cartoon Legends: Performance Review" appear in solid gold, and clips from the previous six episodes are shown! / Daggett runs in, and he says: "Wow! I can't believe you introduced me FIRST! This has never HAPPENED to me before! Usually, I'm not introduced anything until late or LAST! This might be the trend of something new and great!" / General Barracuda says: "Well, now I know who wears the pants in YOUR family!" Otto face-palms himself, and he says: "That is SO out-dated and SO sexist, it doesn't even warrant a PROPER response from yours truly!" / Aang's emotions LITERALLY turn his face red, and he exclaims: "This...is...HAPPENING!!!!" He blasts fire-bending all over the place, prompting Wanda to fly in to quickly zap them before they can hit anything! Aang continues screaming: "HAPPENING!!!! HAPPENING!!!! HAPPENING!!!! HAPPENING!!!!" / Squidward angrily says: "YOU'RE DESPICABLE! I HATE YOU!!!!" Spongebob says: "Whenever you say, 'I hate you', I know it REALLY means 'I love you'!" Squidward says: "I...DOH!!!!" And Squidward REALIZES what Spongebob ALMOST made him do, and Squidward says: "Curse you muscle memory!" / Tigress instantly runs up to Snaptrap, and she threateningly says: "Listen up CLOSELY, you little PUNK, and listen WELL; you will not TOUCH any other contestant without MY say so! FURTHERMORE, don't get ANY funny ideas about TRYING to eliminate ME! I am GOING to be WINNING this season; and NOTHING, NOBODY CAN STOP ME!!!! So just STAY out of my way, ESPECIALLY, if you WANT to keep your tail!" And Snaptrap just gulps nervously! Treeflower says: "Okay, somebody SERIOUSLY didn't get hugged enough as a child! Uh...Stimpy, YOU hug her!" Stimpy says: "WHAT?! Why ME?!" Fee says: "Because WE don't want to get KILLED!" /

Aang says: "Tigress STARTED it!" Tigress retorts: "Like YOU could have EVER finished it!" Aang says: "BITE me!" Tigress says: "Only in your sick FANTASIES!" Aang yells: "Are you saying that I'M perverted?!" Tigress says: "Of course not, for a man obsessed with Mark Walhberg in Boogie Nights!" Otto says: "BURN!!!!" Aang says: "Can SHE get AWAY with SAYING that?!" Tigress tosses a $20 bill to Sniz, and Sniz says: "Why YES, she CAN! She's richer AND stronger than you!" / Spongebob says: "And then I'll get to light the torch?" Tigress actually laughs uproariously and says: "BAH!!!! HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH! HUH, HO! HO! HO! HO! HA! HA! HA! Oh my! Oh, IT HURTS!!!! HA! HA! HA! HA!...WAIT! Were you SERIOUS?! Let me...laugh even LOUDER!!!! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!!" / Tigress asks: "Spongebob; do you want to stay on MY good side?" Spongebob says: "Well, yes." Tigress asks: "Do you WANT me to help you out in FUTURE challenges where we MIGHT get paired up together?" Spongebob says: "Yes." Tigress asks: "And do you WANT to keep ALL of YOUR teeth inside of your MOUTH when this season is over?" Spongebob says: "Yes." Tigress quietly says: "All right, than I guess in that case, you better..." Than Tigress screams: "SHUT UP; AND DO WHAT I SAY!!!!" Spongebob says: "Touchy!" / Fee says: "If there's one thing that I've learned from experience, is that you can tell a LOT about something by the way they constantly act and behave! Squidward's constant sarcasm, indifference, anger, and self-loathing, are all just a mask to hide his insecurities of feeling like he will NEVER be good enough for his parents, if he's NOT better than Spongebob! I'm banking on Squidward's CONSTANT need to knee-jerk, do ANYTHING and react in ANY way that will get ANYONE to POSSIBLY like him, to be his ultimate downfall!" / Snaptrap says: "Those CHEATERS are going to WIN! Help ME cheat to win!"

/ Tigress says: "I TOLD you I'd WIN!!!! See you at the LOSER trailers! Oh, wait! No, I WON'T!!!!" / Tigess says: "NO!!!! I would do ANYTHING for love, but I won't do THAT!" / Squidward says: "Contestants, we're ALL forgetting the MAJOR reason we lost LAST time!" Bubble Bass groans and sarcastically says: "Oh, it must be Spongebob." Squidward says: "It's ALWAYS SPONGEBOB!!!! If he WASN'T there to form the top of the pyramid, THEY would have LOST!" / Spongebob says: "Personally, I can't say that I'll MISS Kowalski and Private; MOSTLY because Skipper went out of his WAY to get ME eliminated in season three, he OUTRIGHT sold me out to save his OWN skin! I mean, who DOES that?! I don't like to say this, but I'm actually GLAD that they are gone! At least I don't have to worry about getting back-stabbed by a traitorous bird, AGAIN!" / Wally says: "Oh, there's GOOD in Kaput SOMEWHERE! I'm SURE it exists! It probably just takes a while to travel from his head to his fist!" / Tigress says: "Regardless of anything else that happens, I might just HAVE to eliminate Johnny Krill PURELY on principle!" / Squidward says: "Let's see; PROS to keeping Spongebob on, Bubble Bass won't tell anyone to vote me off...and...that's ALL I can think of! CONS to keeping Spongebob on, he ANNOYS me, he IRRITATES me, he won't take a HINT, and he makes me SO distracted from making an artistic and/or musical masterpiece, that I can't see straight! Can I take a third option?!" / Kaput face-palms himself, and he says: "Well, that's just GREAT! How was I supposed to know that Squidward was being OVERLY dramatic?! I'm not a mind-reader, you know! Besides, he'll probably have a cute new nickname; Leech Guy! So what are THEY complaining about?!" /

Tigess says: "Po, go ahead and say, 'I told you so'!" Po says: "Totally NOT the time or place!" / Zim rushes to Aang, and Zim asks: "Aang, are you all right?!" Aang, in his own voice, creepily says: "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again! If you need help, hang up, and dial your operator!" / Bulma says: "Look! You'll just have to tell Spongebob, in NO uncertain terms, that you and he will never, EVER be ANYTHING resembling friends once this game show is over! You'll be doing him a FAVOR in the long run!" / Monster struggles, and he says: "I'm purple!" Otto sarcastically says: "Congratulations, Monster! The minute that BEING purple becomes USEFUL in winning a challenge, please let ME know so that I can plan a ticker-tape parade!" / Aang screams: "You're doing it WRONG!!!! You've got to dig in DEEP!!!!" / Spongebob asks: "Are you CHALLENGING me?!" Treeflower says: "That would IMPLY that you are a THREAT to me! And we ALL know that YOU'RE no threat to ANYBODY, because you are just TOO WEAK!!!!" And with a SUDDEN burst of golden energy; Spongebob yells in a deep voice: "SPONGEBOB IS NOT WEAK!!!!" / Treeflower gulps nervously, and she says: "Well, that blows MY whole 'Spongebob is weak' theory out of the water! I did NOT sign up for this!" / Aang screams: "WHEN DID SPONGEBOB GET SO SMART?!" / Haggis groans, and he says: "HELP!!!! I've fallen and I...can't get up!" Blonda winces, and she says: "Ooh, that's not GOOD!" / Pearl says: "I'll give Tigress points for brutal honesty." / Bubble Bass calmly says: "I'm going to calmly ask you to keep your temper down." /

Spongebob says: "A HUG?!!! DREAMS DO COME TRUE!!!!" / Master Coelaceanth says: "I am GONNA--!" Aang JERKS back into control, and Aang says: "WRONG!!!! Wrong, wrong, WRONG!!!! Stick to the plan, stick to the PLAN!!!!" Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "I'm TRYING, but he's making it so DIFFICULT!!!!" / Daggett says: "Whatever you've got PLANNED, Snaptrap, it's not going to WORK; it's just going to end in DISASTER like all your other 115 failed plans on TUFF Puppy!" / Bulma smiles coyly, and she says: "Look what I just found hidden in plain sight!" Bulma holds up the REAL Silver Snakes Immunity Pendant of Life, and she sings: "The real Immunity Pendant, hidden under the Tiki Statue, LOSERS!!!!" / Bubble Bass weakly says: "Spongebob, you've got to RUN!!!!" Aang says: "Run where? He's TRAPPED! And even if he wasn't, I'd find him ANYWHERE he tries to run! Look at EVERYONE'S FAVORITE SPONGE NOW! You STUPID, PATHETIC, WASTE!!!! You've been number one for TOO long, Spongebob! Now your REIGN will FINALLY end! And DON'T worry! I'll take GOOD CARE of your KIDS!!!!" / Spongebob SCREAMS: "NO!!!! DON'T BREAK THAT NET!!!! If you break that NET, I WON'T BE ME ANYMORE!!!!" Aang looks touched and in Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "Wow. I am really glad you told me that Spongebob. I COULD'VE made a BIG mistake! Because now I KNOW...THAT I'M DEFINITELY GOING TO BREAK THIS NET!!!!" / Spongebob angrily says: "What's the MATTER, Master Coelaceanth?! Isn't THIS what you WANTED?! To utterly BREAK who I WAS?! Did it ever occur to you that maybe I was being willfully WEAK, because I didn't want to show up ALL my FRIENDS and FANS, and let them ADMIRE me for being a nice, FRIENDLY guy, and not some scary, hulking PSYCHOPATH like YOU?!!! I told you to stop, I WARNED you to STOP, but you just HAD to push me! And now that you've found someone who can and WILL push back, NOW you're AFRAID, because you KNOW that I'm going to DESTROY YOU!!!!" /

Spongebob says: "That wasn't the RULES list, that was a COPY of the Rules List!" / Aang says: "I guess it's too late to say that MAYBE I over-reacted a LITTLE to Tigress' insults about me, RIGHT?!" / Spongebob says: "You better believe it when I say that Treeflower's underestimating of other contestants is going to cost her big someday!" / Fee says: "You got to admire a guy who's willing to work hard so YOU don't have to!...Uh, THAT came out wrong!" / Treeflower says: "I KNOW Spongebob is doing this on PURPOSE! He's trying to get back at me, just because I told the honest truth! He's trying to be IRRITATING to me, and it's WORKING!!!!" / Treeflower says: "I will NOT tell you, 'Please!' Little birds like Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce say 'Please'. Spongebob says, 'Please'. I'm pretty sure that even Tigress says 'Please'. Treeflower Fields does NOT say 'Please', when it refers to a group of LOSERS!!!!" / Treeflower panics, and she says: "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP, you're RIGHT!!!! If we wind up at the Elimination Ceremony I could be DEAD! Or WORSE; eliminated HUMILIATED!" / Treeflower scowls, and says: "I hope you die a long, slow, and very painful DEATH, Bulma!" / Tigress says: "I don't want people to think that I was just BRAGGING about being the smartest, I'm GOING to prove that what I say, is NOT hyperbole!" / Jenny says: "I honestly didn't think it was possible, but even as a ROBOT, I just experienced PURE, UNADULTERATED RAGE against TIGRESS just now!" / Treeflower says: "All right! Which of you JERK wads tried to vote ME off?!" / Bulma says: "Than I'll assume you will work with me?" Treeflower says: "Gladly!" And she shakes Bulma's hand! Bulma says: "And one more thing; under no circumstances are you to EVER to tell Spongebob or anyone else what you just discussed with me! After all, how can you POSSIBLY trust someone who's willing to LIE to your FACE?!" /

Daggett groans, and says: "I am SO sick and tired of having to act like the GROWN UP in this whole endeavor! It isn't FUNNY anymore, it's downright LUDICROUS!" / Sway-Sway says: "You WEREN'T wanted!" Dora says: "Not want--! Oh, my! Want an AWKWARD situation! I HAD hoped it had been merely due to some oversight! Well, perhaps I might be better suited to being some kind of nurse the way Fondue USED to be!" / Squidward scoffs, and he says: "Like I NEED to hang out with you! You're BLUFFING, Spongebob Squarepants! You're NOT mature! Two more days of this 'Act', you'll realize the folly of YOUR ways, and you'll come CRAWLING back to annoying me!" And Spongebob actually LEAVES in a huff to use the Confessional! And Squidward pathetically whispers: "Please!" / Tigress says: "Hold it! How can THEY possibly move faster than ME?! Nobody moves FASTER than ME!" / Bulma asks: "Oh, why am I ALWAYS the FIRST to get BLAMED whenever ANYTHING suspicious happens on this show?! I mean, BESIDES my past track record?!" Dog says: "I was going to say!" / Sway-Sway angrily yells: "That DOES it, Tigress! It's TIME you put your money where your MOUTH is! I'd like to see you score a SINGLE point, without using EITHER of your hands! And spoiler alert, you CAN'T!" / Bulma AGGRESSIVELY grabs Dora's arms, and Bulma asks: "Do you HONESTLY think you can PLAY on MY skill level?! I was SABOTAGING contestants while YOU were STILL saying 'Say map, say map'! You may THINK you're smart, but you are NOWHERE near MY genius! I'll let it slide THIS time cause we won, but don't you EVER interfere when it comes to US winning EVER again!" / Tigress says: "Well it's nice to know that not ALL of you are total SELL-OUTS!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "You would THINK they would KNOW better than to TRY to vote you off when they KNOW you have an Immunity Pendant!" / Buhdeuce angrily says: "Tigress, you just crossed a line! Sway-Sway might be leaving, but I won't forget this injustice for a MINUTE! Mark my words, Tigress, I will use every single one of my Breadwinner skills to DEFEAT YOU!!!!" / The clips finally end, and the words "Total Cartoon Legends: Performance Review", flies right toward the screen to end the show open! /

"Performance Review: Legend Of The Breadwinner!" / After the show opens up properly, the camera focuses on Norbert, and Eliza Thornberry sitting on couches in a talk show format! Norbert says: "Hi, I'm Norbert Foster Beaver." Eliza says: "And I'm Eliza Thornberry, helping Norbert to do the Performance Review for this season." Norbert says: "We've only seen six episodes of this half-season so far, and it's already looking like a pretty crazy one!" Eliza says: "Quite right! We've seen twelve contestants eliminated, and two contestants join!" Norbert says: "Thankfully, we won't have to interview every single ONE of the eliminated contestants this time!" Eliza says: "That's because after Kaput, Johnny Krill, and Snaptrap were eliminated from the show, Sniz had to hire them on as Temple Guards in order to replace the ones that Tigress knocked out, so we are unable to interview them at this time." Norbert says: "And as far as Aang goes? We're...legally not allowed to talk to him OR show him, due to the actions that he did while he was possessed by Master Coelaceanth." Eliza says: "However, that DOES still leave us with eight whole contestants that we CAN interview, in today's episode that we like to call, 'The Legend of the Breadwinner'!" Norbert says: "Eliza, I'm genuinely surprised! I never figured YOU as a fan of Sway-Sway's show!" Eliza says: "What can I say? I'm a big fan of the underdog, especially after seeing BOTH Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce DIRECTLY challenge Tigress to her face! She MAY be a strong contestant, but she's WAY too crazy, competitive, and crazy-competitive for her own good!" Norbert says: "You said it! And now, it's time to reveal WHO we are interviewing today!" Eliza says: "Kowalski and Private." Norbert says: "Haggis McHaggis." Eliza says: "Monster Krumholtz."  Norbert says: "Your personal favorite, Darwin." Eliza says: "Heffer Wolfe." Norbert says: "Judy Funny." Eliza says: "And Sway-Sway." Norbert says: "We had to send Cosmo down ALL the way to Antarctica to find them, but at last, back with us in the studio, it's Kowalski and Private!" And Kowalski and Private, dressed in their tuxedo best, walk onstage!

Eliza says: "Welcome to the Performance Review stage, Kowalski and Private. Come to think of it, this is BOTH your first times being interviewed, isn't it?" Kowalski says: "As a matter of fact, it is!" Private says: "I always WANTED to have an interview! Of course, I would've preferred it if it was done LATER rather than sooner, but you can't always get what you want!" Norbert says: "Ain't THAT the truth! I would've PREFERRED Daggett had found out EARLIER just how DIFFICULT it was for ME to have to deal with his antics on 121 different occassions! But; it does look like he's finding out NOW, the HARD way!" Eliza says: "I'll say! I never would've expected that Daggett would turn out to be one of the more COMPETENT and sane members of the Silver Snakes!" Kowalski says: "The key TERM there, is, 'Silver Snakes'. It's not like Daggett has a lot of competition!" Norbert says: "That's true. In fact, the only OTHER contestant that I'm PRETTY sure has her head on straight and DOESN'T have a hidden agenda in the Silver Snakes, is Kitty Katswell!" Eliza asks: "What about Taotie?" Private says: "I personally don't HAVE an opinion about him." Kowalski says: "I do! He is all kinds of NASTY! I wouldn't touch him with a 39 and a half foot pole!" Norbert says: "And I personally wouldn't either! Even if Taotie ISN'T doing anything evil RIGHT now, he's CLEARLY biding his time, waiting for the OTHER members on his team to show some sign of weakness, so that HE can make his move!" Kowalski says: "That was MY analytic analysis!" Private says: "The one thing that surprises ME after we left? The fact that Dora would come, and JOIN the Silver Snakes! What's up with that?! She used to be a SWEET kid!" Eliza sighs, and says: "That's the price of fame, sometimes! Either you handle it well, like Ricky Sprocket; or you don't, and you wind up like FOUR of the five cast-members of Teen Titans/Teen Titans Go!"

Kowalski says: "Who's the one who adjusted to fame well?" Norbert says: "Starfire, obviously! She's the ONLY one who behaves the way she's SUPPOSED to!" Private says: "What I am happy about is the fact that the future, adult version of Rube Goldfish joined this competition, and he's helping the Green Monkeys! So, I hope that will counteract anything that Dora can come up with!" Eliza says: "I do, to! Last question, who do you want to win this season?" Kowalski says: "Statistically speaking, it HAS to be Marlene Otter, she's the ONLY representitive from our show, left!" Private says: "I'd have to say the same thing, Marlene!" Norbert says: "Very well! Kowalski and Private, please take a seat on the bleachers!" And Kowalski and Private take a seat together, at the very top of the bleachers! Eliza says: "Our next contestant is a trained, VERY seasoned thespian, who's had MANY years to his acting career!" Norbert says: "Haggis was once again hoping to put his honed acting skills to good use this season. But sadly, it just wasn't meant to be." Eliza says: "Due to an injury he suffered on the third episode of this show, courtesy of Aang, Haggis had to be eliminated by Med Evac, and his time as a contestant was cut short." Norbert says: "Thankfully, you can't keep a good man down! He's all better now, and he's willing to talk to us! Give it up for Haggis McHaggis!" Haggis walks onstage rather briskly, surprising given all HE went through! Eliza says: "For a guy YOUR age, that was pretty fast!" Haggis asks: "What's THAT supposed to mean?!" Norbert says: "Only that most guys YOUR age don't MOVE that quickly!" Haggis says: "Well, I have Wanda to thank for that. Her magical healing spells do the trick every single time!" Eliza says: "That's good to know! First off, what do you feel towards Aang, for indirectly being the cause of your early elimination?" Haggis says: "In a word; anger. My comprehensive knowledge of possible scenarios, as far as acting goes, would SURELY have been a big help towards my fellow Silver Snakes! Of course, if it wasn't for Aang's actions, I NEVER would've discovered how fragile my body had become! I'm now on a regiment that keeps my body strong and sturdy. It should help to make my acting career last for at least another 20 years!"

Norbert says: "It's good to have a plan in mind! I heard that Stimpy suggest that you write a book to inspire others. Have you done that yet?" Haggis says: "I'm working on it right now. I haven't got the title for it yet, and I wouldn't want anyone to use it before I can, but it is about MY life and experiences! I've already got most of the FIRST 36 years of my life written about, so I'm more than half-way there!" Eliza says: "Well, it's nice to know that people FINALLY have a ball-park figure of your age to work with!" Haggis groans, and he says: "You're LUCKY things are SO politically correct, now! 36 years EARLIER, I could've...uh, never mind! Dora should consider herself LUCKY, that she DOESN'T have to match wits against me!" Norbert says: "Agreed! One last question, who do you want to win this season?" Haggis says: "Well, I PERSONALLY would want Stimpy to win. Barring that, I'd have to pick Daggett or Kitty Katswell; they were the ONLY two contestants on the Silver Snakes who HAD any common sense!" Eliza says: "No argument there! Haggis McHaggis, please take a seat!" And Haggis takes a seat at the very bottom of the bleachers! Norbert says: "We have to take a short break now!" Eliza says: "But don't go too far away, because we still have five former contestants to interview on the first Performance Review, of Total Cartoon Legends!" / (Commercial Break) /

After the commercials end, the camera opens back up on Norbert and Eliza in the talk show setting. Norbert says: "Welcome back to the Performance Review!" Eliza says: "Now, ordinarily, we WOULD interview ALL the contestants in the order that they were eliminated in, but Monster, Heffer, and Sway-Sway said that they wanted to do something special together, so we'll wait for a while so that they can do that. For now, it's time to interview a personal friend of mine, Darwin!" Norbert says: "You know, I was hoping that Darwin would be able to do MORE this season! After all, you would THINK that as a chimpanzee, he would be very versatile!" Eliza says: "Well, maybe he can explain it better himself! So Darwin, please come out now!" And Darwin is SURPRISED to hear people applauding him! Darwin says: "I wasn't expecting THIS kind of a welcoming committee! If I had known I'd get THIS kind of a reception, I wouldn't have let myself get so EASILY eliminated by Treeflower!" Haggis says: "Believe me, I know what it's like to be eliminated by Treeflower, even if it WAS indirectly!" Norbert says: "All I know is, that I feel that the biggest reason Treeflower WANTED to target you, was because you DIDN'T step up to the plate when it came to helping the Green Monkeys win challenges. What was up with that?" Darwin says: "Well, it's very HARD to step up to the plate when you've got ten OTHER contestants on your team trying to jockey for a starring position! I'm IMPRESSED that Treeflower could even NOTICE me TRYING to fly under the radar!" Eliza says: "Only in your case, it was too much TRYING, and not enough flying!" Darwin says: "Well, to be fair, this is the first time I was IN the competition from the beginning, not like season two where I only managed to join in the second episode! I had hoped that if I started from the beginning THIS time, I would actually LAST longer! So much for THAT theory holding water!"

Norbert says: "Even though this doesn't really pertain to you; what do you think of Dora joining the competition?" Darwin says: "I actually WISH she joined sooner! Perhaps if she met ME during the competition, she could've HAD someone friendly as a partner, to talk her OUT of trying to be an antagonist! After all, the only reason she's doing this, is to get Boots back!" Eliza says: "Well, not everyone is as lucky as YOU are, to have an adoptive family as understanding as mine are!" Darwin says: "Yes, I am very lucky in that regard!" Norbert says: "One last question, who do you want to win this season?" Darwin says: "It's got to be Wally! Being a monkey, he's genetically the CLOSEST creature related to me! I sure hope he will play to avenge my loss!" Eliza says: "I'm sure he will do his best! Darwin, please take a seat!" And Darwin chooses a seat high on the bleachers, next to Private and Kowalski! Private asks: "What are you doing up here?" Darwin says: "I prefer having a HIGH view of the action! The higher I am, the more I can see!" Kowalski says: "That DOES make statistical sense!" Norbert says: "Our next interviewed contestant is an aspiring, dramatic thespian actress, who knows how to play a scene for all it's work!" Eliza says: "Sadly, her time as a contestant was cut short, when she chose to engage against the WRONG contestant; namely Tigress!" Norbert says: "Thankfully, she plans to put her skills to good use here as a panelist! Give it up for Judy Funny!" Judy walks on stage to her theme music, as a spotlight follows her, and she snaps to the music! Eliza says: "I wonder why THAT never happens for me?" Judy says: "Maybe it's because YOU'RE not an actress!" Eliza says: "Hey! I was in FOUR successful seasons of a well-loved TV show and TWO animated movies! And for legal reasons, WE can only count THREE seasons of YOUR work on Doug!" Judy thinks about it, and she says: "Well, you got me there!"

Norbert says: "Did you EVER expect Tigress to target YOU so early?" Judy says: "Of course not! I never HAD the displeasure of having to BE on the same team as her before! I had no idea WHAT to expect! I thought I could charm her with my superior acting skills! I should've realized that it only WORKS if they were anywhere NEAR familiar, with acting, TV, or movie work!" Eliza says: "You've got THAT right! I'm not exactly sure WHAT to make of Tigress! She's been in THREE successful movies and three seasons of a TV show, yet she acts like she knows NOTHING of TV, movies, or most technology for THAT matter!" Norbert says: "I think it has to do with the fact that Tigress is LOST in character! She's become SO used to BEING Tigress in the Kung Fu Panda franchise, she believes that she actually IS Tigress in the Kung Fu Panda franchise, and therefore, behaves as such! And since Tigress doesn't HAVE access to most modern technologies within the Kung Fu Panda franchise, she acts like she has NO idea what most of them are about!" Judy says: "Wow! And I thought I could get lost in MY characters! It's no wonder why I lost against her!" Eliza says: "Do you have any opinion about Dora?" Judy says: "Not really. But if I could tell her one thing, I would tell her that while acting IS a great thrill, it isn't necessarily EVERYTHING! You can't become SO dependent on acting, that you FORGET who you really ARE as a person, and you become lost in your character!" Norbert says: "I'll drink some chocolate milk to that! One last question; who do you want to win this season?" Judy says: "I'm surprised I'm saying this, but I've got to go with Buhdeuce! Anyone who's willing to stand up to Tigress, has got MY support!" Eliza says: "Thank you, Judy. Go ahead, and take a seat!" Judy chooses to take a seat next to Haggis. Haggis asks: "You're sitting next to ME?" Judy says: "Sure! Us actors have got to stick together!"

Norbert says: "Now, it's time for our FINAL portion of this Performance Review, and the reason WHY we decided to call it, The Legend of The Breadwinner!" Eliza says: "That's right, Norbert! Apparently, after Sway-Sway was eliminated, he found himself at the Comedy Club in Hermosa Beach, California, and discovered that he had great comedic jokes inside of himself!" Norbert says: "He later met with Monster and Heffer, and they discovered that together, their talents were far better TOGETHER, than they were apart!" Eliza says: "So, deciding that they should JOIN their efforts together, they wanted to be interviewed together! So, let's give it up for Monster Krumholtz, Heffer Wolfe, and Sway-Sway!" Sway-Sway jumps into view, does many twirls in mid-air, than makes a perfect three point landing! Monster makes a great leap in, and lands with a thud to the left of Sway-Sway, and Heffer simply jumps, and lands on both of his feet to the right of Sway-Sway! Norbert says: "Woah! Heffer, what happened to your pants?!" Heffer says: "Oh, yeah. Well, when Darwin and I got eliminated, we wound up in Pamplona, Spain, where it happened to be the Running of the Bulls. Darwin realized that they MUST have been attracted to my red pants, so I had to get rid of them so that they would stop chasing me!" Eliza says: "So, you're NOT going to wear any pants, JUST so you won't be chased by bulls?!" Heffer says: "Hey! Wild bulls are VERY different from me! They don't KNOW how to be as funny as I am!" Norbert says: "Fair enough!" Monster says: "And of course, as the best version of myself, I need to be an inspiration, to ALL my fellow monsters!" Sway-Sway says: "And utilizing their talents as well as my own, we hope to become a modern day version of the Three Amigos!"

Eliza questioningly asks: "Uh, is THAT considered a LITTLE bit offensive?" Heffer asks: "How could it be offensive? Mexicans THEMSELVES, generally LIKE the movie Three Amigos, and aren't offended by that term!" Norbert says: "Fair enough! So, tell us, what exactly is it that you plan to do?" Sway-Sway says: "Anything and EVERYTHING that can be considered entertaining! As long as it's legal, ethical, politically correct, and isn't gross! I want to get as FAR away from what I HAD to do on my show as possible! I'm turning over a new leaf!" Eliza says: "And quite frankly, who could blame you? I don't know WHAT the studio executives were THINKING by trying to make GROSS things a basis for your show! Unless the show is Ren and Stimpy, and sometimes, even NOT than, gross things do NOT form the basis for comedy in a good show!" Heffer says: "I definitely agree with that!" Norbert says: "Sway-Sway, do you REALLY think Buhdeuce can take down Tigress?" Sway-Sway says: "Of course I do! He has ALL the same skills as I have! And let's not forget, he DID manage to outlast ME in season three, even if it was because I chose to quit! Tigress has NO idea what Buhdeuce can THROW at her when he has incentive to do so! I believe that Buhdeuce will soon tap into his FULL potential, and use ALL of it against her!" Eliza says: "Interesting. Monster and Heffer, who do YOU want to win this season?" Monster says: "Either Spongebob or Wally. They were very nice to ME during the competition!" Heffer says: "Either Gonard or Po. I've got to root for someone who KNOWS how to enjoy a good meal the way that I do!" Norbert says: "One last thing; you said you wanted to be interviewed together because you wanted to do something special together!" Sway-Sway says: "That's right! One of the talents that we discovered that we have together, is performing as a great musical act! We've only got one song mastered so far, but we plan to do more, as we are able to learn them! Would you like to hear the song that we've learned how to play?"

Eliza says: "Sure. We've got time to hear it!" Monster says: "Awesome! This is SURE to get us some endorsement deals! HOPEFULLY for products we genuinely like!" Sway-Sway pulls out an electric guitar, Monster grabs some synthesizer keyboards, and Heffer brings out a drum set! Sway-Sway says: "All right, rock and roll fans! Prepare to be BLOWN away, as we play Jefferson Starship's Light The Sky On Fire!" / During the performance, all their instruments are lit up in neon colors. Sway-Sway's guitar is green, Monster's keyboards are purple, and Heffer's drum set is yellow! Sway-Sway sings: "Fly unidentified if you want to. But I would really like to know, will you light the sky on fire?! Will you light tonight like you did the night before, baby?! You could take me higher than the diamonds in the sky! Take me, light in the sky and we'll vanish without a trace in a cigar-shaped object! Temples and pyramids, they sing. Know all there really is to know. Will you light the sky on fire?! Will you light the sky on fire again tonight?! You can take me higher than the diamonds in the sky! Take me, we'll vanish without a trace in a cigar-shaped object! Vanish without a trace! On the pyramids is a legend. The great god Kopa Khan who came from the stars and vanished! And the legends say he will come back again someday. Someday! Someday. Will you light the sky on fire?! Will you light tonight like you did the night before?! You could take me higher than the diamonds in the sky! Take me, light in the sky and we'll vanish without a trace in a cigar-shaped object! And I would really like to know, what are they watching us for? Yes, I would really like to know. Will you light the sky on fire?! Will you light the sky like you did the night before?! You could take me higher than the diamonds in the sky! Take me, we'll vanish without a trace in a cigar-shaped object! Vanish without a trace! Vanish without a trace! Come on, come on, come on! Come on, come on! Let's vanish without a trace! Come on, come on, come on! Come on, come on! We'll vanish without a trace!"

/ And the audience applauds loudly as Sway-Sway, Monster, and Heffer finish their rocking set! Norbert says: "All right! I think we've OFFICIALLY found our in-house band for the REST of these Performance Reviews! Sway-Sway, Monster, and Heffer? You're hired!" Sway-Sway says: "Awesome! We've got a steady gig for the rest of this season!" Monster says: "Awesome! Endorsement deals, here we come!" Eliza says: "Norbert, who do YOU personally hope will win this season?" Norbert says: "You know me, I personally WANT Treeflower to win! But, in the UNLIKELY event that she doesn't make it all the way and gets eliminated BEFORE Daggett, I'll give my support to Daggett." Eliza says: "That's very nice of you. Personally, I'm not sure WHO I want to win. In fact the only two contestants who I currently DON'T think will win, are Squidward and Dora! Squidward because he appears to be flaking WITHOUT Spongebob to annoy him, and Dora, because she basically BLACKMAILED her way to become a contestant on the show!" Norbert says: "You mean, you think Yakety and Future Adult Rube Goldfish have a better chance of WINNING than they do?" Eliza says: "I practically KNOW that they have a better chance of winning; mostly because I think they deserve it more!" Norbert says: "Well, we will just have to wait and see! We are all out of time for our Performance Review this time!" Eliza says: "But be sure to tune in for a regular episode of Total Cartoon Legends on the next episode, as well as our next Performance Review!" Norbert says: "Until than, make sure you keep on rocking with the BEST version of yourself!" Monster says: "I sure know that I will!"

/ Episode Notes: No contestants eliminated in this episode, due to being a Performance Review. Featured song in this episode: Jefferson Starship's "Light The Sky On Fire", performed by Sway-Sway, Monster, and Heffer! / Personal Notes: I always thought that the last three versions of the "Total Drama" seasons, might have done better, if they had kept the "Aftermath's" from seasons two and three, and followed up on what the contestants did AFTER they got eliminated! At the very least, I wanted to continue them, just to prove that getting eliminated as a contestant, doesn't necessarily mean it's the end for a Nicktoon when it comes to their relevance. In fact, it may constitute a whole new beginning! In any case, be sure to see what will happen to the remaining contestants on the next regular episode of Total Cartoon Legends! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

To tide you over until I'm ready to write a brand-new episode, here is the most recent episode of "Total Cartoon Legends" that I have finished. Enjoy! / Sniz is standing on the Steps of Knowledge, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Legends, we were down to 34 contestants, but it soon became 36, with the unexpected addition of Dora the Explorer, and the Future Adult Rube Goldfish! Apparently, Dora was miffed that she had NOT received an invitation to be on our show ALL these years, and basically blackmailed her way to BE a contestant on this show! Meanwhile, the Future Adult Rube Goldfish, traveled from the future, but only to spend more time with his father, Bubble Bass! Now that's kind of sweet! In the end, not only did Dora and Rube become contestants as a Silver Snake and a Green Monkey respectively, but something truly UNEXPECTED happened; the Silver Snakes FINALLY won a Temple Run! Mean-while, Judy Funny and Sway-Sway BOTH made the mistake of infuriating and engaging Tigress in a challenge respectively, and when Tigress played her Immunity Pendant, she made SURE that THEY were the ones who paid the price, as they BOTH had to take the first Mine Cart express track, to Loser Town! Now, we are back down to 34 contestants, and when all is said and done today, it will be down to 32 contestants. Who will be the unlucky losers who will leave this time? Is is possible for the Silver Snakes to achieve ANOTHER victory? And since I'm feeling EXTREMELY lucky today, who will make the mistake of INFURIATING and inviting Tigress' wrath today?!" Tigress screams: "I HEARD THAT!!!!" Sniz says: "Never mind, we just found out THAT answer! Anyways, find out the answers to the other questions on today's edition of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "It will be an introspective experience!" / Instead of the normal show open, it shows Spongebob, Sandy, and Larry, in a shot for shot re-make of the Thompson Twins' music video for "Doctor, Doctor," while they sing the same song as it is being filmed!

/ Spongebob sings: "I saw you there; just standing there. And I thought I was only dreaming, yeah. I kissed you then; then once again. You said you would come and dance with me. Dance with me across the sea. And we can feel the motion of a thousand dreams. Doctor! Doctor! Can't you see I've got this burning, burning?! Oh, Doctor! Doctor! Is this love that I'm feeling?! Ships at night, give such delight. But we all leave before the morning light. Please don't go. No, please don't go! Cause I don't want to stay here on my own! Oh, Doctor! Doctor! Can't you see I've got this burning, burning?! Oh Doctor! Doctor! Is this love that I'm feeling?! Doctor! Doctor! Can't you see I'm burning, burning?! Oh Doctor! Doctor! Is this love that I'm feeling?! (Instrumental Break) Fever breathe your love on me. Take away my name, Fever lay your hands on me; never be the same. Oh, Doctor! Doctor! Can't you see I've got this burning, burning?! Oh, Doctor! Doctor! Is this love that I'm feeling?! Doctor! Doctor! Can't you see I'm burning, burning?! Oh, Doctor! Doctor! Is this love that I'm feeling?! Come with me, and make believe we can travel to eternity!" / And the music video and song ends! / "The Legend Of The First Aid Kit Of Florence Nightingale!" / It is still night-time, and Po can't seem to sleep, in stark contrast to Tigress, who seems to be out like a light. Po looks at her, and simply sighs in accepted defeat.

(Confessional) Po says: "You know, it used to be that no matter what happened, I would NEVER question Tigress' commitment to me, or to her overall quest towards justice. But now that THIS season has come along? It seems that her aggressive tendencies have been dialed ALL the way to 20, on a Zero to TEN scale! Not only that, it seems that she doesn't even WANT to spend time with me anymore, saying that it distracts her from 'Winning'. Now, I don't CARE if she wants to win, but it shouldn't come at the cost of our relationship! Now, I don't think I COULD find another woman like Tigress, even IF I wanted to do, and I certainly DON'T! But I would REALLY like to know, if she feels the same way about ME, as I do about her?" (End Confessional) To Po's surprise, Tigress suddenly wakes up, and she asks: "Is it time for ME to win already?!" Po groans, and he says: "Tigress, you've REALLY got to get out of this mindset of yours! It's not healthy, and furthermore, everyone else is getting REALLY ticked off by it!" Tigress asks: "Who CARES what everyone else thinks?! It's not like THEY'VE realistically got a chance to WIN against me; right?!" Po says: "Maybe not, but you've got to think about the future. Do you REALLY want EVERYONE else on this show to HATE you for the REST of your nine lives?!" Tigress says: "They already DO hate me! How is that different from the REST of my nine lives?!" Po says: "Have you ever thought that the reason they hate you, maybe stems from the fact that you don't give them any REASONS to like you?! Maybe if you DID, they might LIKE you the same way that I do?! I mean...NOT the same way, but...you know what I mean!" Tigress says: "Honestly Po, I think TRYING to get anyone else to like me, would be a WASTE, both of MY time, and theirs! Besides, what could anyone else POSSIBLY offer me, that I could get by MYSELF in a LESS complicated way?"

Po sighs in defeat, and he says: "I don't know. But, haven't you ever thought that there MUST be more to life than just trying to WIN all the time?" Tigress asks: "Like what?" Po says: "Haven't you EVER thought about just, starting a family?" Tigress sputters and she says: "Are YOU kidding me?! You want ME; the STRONGEST, most athletic female in the world, to throw her SUCCESSFUL career AWAY in order to start a FAMILY?!" Po says: "Come on! You say that like it would be the WORST thing in the world!" Tigress says: "Well, certainly not for everyone! But it would be for ME! I can't spend eighteen years, or longer, of one of MY nine lives, raising a family! Do you KNOW how OLD I would be by the time eighteen years had gone by?! I'd be at LEAST like, FORTY!!!!" (DOING!!!!) Po says: "Well, WE don't necessarily have to have kids; we could always adopt." Tigress says: "Even if we DID adopt, I'd still expect YOU to handle the needs of the kid and/or possibly kids! I don't have the time OR the patience to hang around with some kid and/or kids that aren't even MINE!" Po says: "That isn't very nice to say!" Tigress says: "At least I'm HONEST about it!" Po asks: "And that makes it BETTER?!" Tigress shrugs and says: "Theoretically? I mean, we ARE in a competition! How could you NOT expect me to give it my all, like I do in EVERYTHING?!" Po says: "Yeah, everything YOU care about!" Tigress says: "Which includes YOU!" Po says: "Yeah, well, sometimes actions speak LOUDER than words!"

And Po gets up out of bed and Tigress asks: "Where in the world are YOU going at this time of the late night/early morning?!" Po asks: "Does it matter to YOU?! You CLEARLY plan on winning whether it involves ME or not!" Tigress says: "Don't be like that! You're perfectly WELCOME to get second place if you can grab it!" Po asks: "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe not EVERYBODY cares ONLY about winning as much as you do?! I wanted to have fun WITH you on this season! But now? It's not so much FUN anymore!" And Po leaves their room in a sigh of defeat! (Confessional) Tigress asks: "Me, NOT fun? How can WINNING be NOT fun?! Sure, SOMEBODY has to LOSE so that I can win, but Po's NEVER cared about that in the past! What is WRONG with him?! Besides wanting to have children?! It's not that I HATE children, I'd just prefer it if I didn't have to waste MY time raising any! I've got a reputation to maintain, and I'd like to keep it for as long as possible!" / Po sighs, and he says: "You know the problem with dating an Amazon type Warrior Woman? Even if a guy, I.E. Me, actually WANTS to date and be with one, they NEVER seem to want to settle down! I thought that even Tigress would want to leave behind a legacy OTHER than just 'Winning', but at this point, I don't think anything EXCEPT old age will make her want to slow down, and maybe not even THAN! Maybe I should talk to Future Adult Rube Goldfish. I could at least find out how his parents raised him...or, WILL raise him, in case Tigress ever changes her mind!" (End Confessional) Po goes to Rube Goldfish's door, only to hear loud music coming from within it!

Po says: "Huh. Rube must be a music fan. I wonder what he's listening to?" Po puts one of his ears up to the door, and hears Rube singing along to The Rolling Stones version of "Not Fade Away". Rube and Mick Jagger sing: "I'll tell you how it's going to be. You're going to give you're love to me. A love that will last all night and day. Well, love is love and not fade away. Well, love is love and not fade AWAY!!!!" And as Rube sings that note, a sonic boom blasts the door off of it's hinges, and slams Po right against the wall! Rube screams: "AHHH!!!!" And he hides behind his bed! Po asks: "Rube, did you do that?" Rube says: "I didn't MEAN to! I guess I'm not used to controlling my magical strength in the past just yet." Po says: "Well, you didn't need to freak out about that. I'm sure your door can be fixed pretty easily." Rube says: "Actually, that's NOT the reason why I freaked!" Po says: "I was going to knock!" Rube says: "Actually, it's not that either! Um, I have to ask you, can you keep a secret from my mother." Po says: "It depends. What kind of a secret IS it?" Rube says: "It's nothing bad. It's just...I don't think SHE would understand it. I LOVE my dad, and I consider Bubble Bass a good father who has raised me WELL the past...or rather, NEXT 20 years, regardless of whether he's clothed or not." Po asks: "What does THAT have to do with anything?" Rube says: "Well, the fact of the matter is, I'm not exactly clothed now, either. But that's not what I was screaming about! I thought you might be my mother!" Po asks: "So, you like being naked every once in a while? That's NO big deal!" Rube says: "You don't understand! My clothes? They're a magical disguise! Practically invisible particles of light that reflect WHATEVER appearance of clothes that I magically want them to! Why do you think my clothes look so tight?" Po asks: "You mean, you're technically NAKED all the time?"

Rube says: "I'm happy that way! I can talk to my dad about it, but not my mother. Maybe if I could WIN this season, or at least make a decent showing, maybe she'd understand how much my dad means to me." Po says: "I understand. I suppose by strict definition, I have TWO fathers! One who raised me most of my life, and my actual biological father. They both love me VERY much, and I wouldn't trade their love for ANYTHING in their world! Even so, I wish I knew my mother better. Of course, I could never tell you to disrespect your mother. But, where you come from, you ARE technically an adult, which means that legally, your mother has no say over the way that you WANT to live your life. Now, as long as you're not doing anything illegal, immoral, or forcing anybody else to do something they don't want to do, anything you do is fine! You're NOT doing any of those things are you?" Rube says: "Of course not! You're not going to tell my mom about this, are you?" Po says: "Of course not! But I suggest YOU should!" Rube asks: "Why?" Po says: "Because in my personal experience, women ALWAYS find out the truth, ALWAYS!" (Confessional) Po says: "Well, I found a few pieces to the puzzle that is Rube Goldfish. Not enough to paint a complete picture, but I think I've got the border started! Rube is odd, but at least he's well-meaning. Of course he doesn't want to disappoint his mother, and quite frankly, who would? I just hope he will tell HER the truth, as opposed to her finding out from somebody else!" / Rube now APPEARS clothed, and he says: "Po definitely is as loyal and noble as my dad SAID he is! I suppose if SOMEBODY were the first, besides my dad, to discover my secret, I suppose I am glad it is him! Actually, I HAVE been TRYING to drop HINTS to my mother for two years now, but she doesn't want to hear it. And if my FUTURE mother doesn't want to hear it, how would my PRESENT mother handle it? Not very well, I should think!" (End Confessional)

Meanwhile, in the trailers of the Silver Snakes and the Blue Barracudas, Daggett and Kitty are enjoying a well-deserved breakfast buffet! Daggett says: "Yes! We did it, we did it, and we DID it! Didn't we TELL you?! Working together, we FINALLY achieved a victory!" Taotie says: "One win does NOT indicate a trend." Kitty says: "Maybe not, but it's better than we've done SO far!" Zim says: "Agreed. Our biggest problem NOW, is figuring out how to keep it up." Blonda says: "Which we SHOULD be able to achieve as long as YOU don't get any INSANE ideas into that alien HEAD of yours!" Zim screams: "What's THAT supposed to mean?!" Bulma mockingly replies: "'What's THAT supposed to mean'?!" Than in her normal voice, she says: "Seriously, that's what you SOUND like! Do you even LISTEN to yourself when you TALK?! The only reason we even WON the last time was because of MY genius, which has been WOEFULLY underutilized this season! And quite frankly, it's a little insulting!" Yakety says: "I appreciate your genius." Bulma says: "And I'm glad that SOMEBODY does! Now, if everyone ELSE can get OVER what I did to most of them in season three, I would be GLAD to help them towards another win!" Dora chuckles, and she says: "Don't waste your precious time, Abuela!" Bulma screams: "Don't you DARE call ME 'Grandma', in YOUR native tongue, Dora!" Dora snaps her fingers, and says: "Darn it! I thought SHE wouldn't KNOW that one!" Harvey rolls his eyes and says: "Get used to it. There is practically NOTHING useful that Bulma doesn't ALREADY know, and she will always tell EVERYBODY about what she knows, even if you DON'T ask for it!" Fee says: "It's her BIGGEST annoying trait!" Bulma says: "Annoying?! Well, my knowledge MAY be annoying to you, but if you actually LISTENED once in a while, you might find something USEFUL! You ought to TRY it for a change!"

Gonard says: "Oh, so NOW you want to be useful? How CONVENIENT! If you WANTED to be useful, you wouldn't have TRIED to force everyone on Team Sniz Is Really, Really, Really Cool, to give YOU a split of the grand prize money in season three, JUST so you could tell US how to win; you would've done it out of the goodness of your heart!" Bulma says: "I was DIFFERENT back than! I didn't realize the importance of team-work! But I'm ABOVE such tactics now! I am a team player!" Dudley says: "I'll believe THAT when I see it!" Zarbon says: "Keep waiting! I still have YET to see any team-work from HER, and I don't think I ever will!" Chameleon says: "All I know is, we're in an unusual spot right now." Bubble Bass says: "Why do you say that?" Chameleon says: "With the exception of the Green Monkeys, all the other teams are currently TIED in the number of contestants that they have! If anyone BESIDES the Green Monkeys loses THIS challenge, they'll be at a major disadvantage in the next challenges!" Squidward gasps, and he says: "You're RIGHT! And if the Green MONKEYS get disadvantaged, it might cause Spongebob to WORRY! Which is just FINE!" (Confessional) Zim says: "You know, I'm SICK of Blonda ALWAYS doubting me! I have a good mind to show HER, that MY mental facilities, are at least TWICE of what hers are! I'd say what I THINK she is, but I don't think it's a politically correct TERM anymore!" / Blonda says: "I'm just calling it like I see it. Realistically, I probably WON'T win this season; mostly because BULMA wouldn't let me, but I plan on at LEAST outlasting Zim! And if I can trip him up by appealing to his EGO, his biggest WEAKNESS, that will make him trip up a WHOLE lot faster!" / Bulma scoffs, and she says: "IMAGINE, Dora trying to insult ME in her native tongue! Unless that tongue is RUSSIAN or some BIZARRE alien tongue that I've never heard of before, she's practically wasting her time! Dora is NEVER going to get the drop on ME!" /

Dora says: "I'll admit it, Bulma definitely IS smarter than I was WILLING to give her credit for, but she STILL doesn't worry me! After all, a team is only as STRONG as it's weakest link! Blonda's already done a good job of destabilizing Zim! All he needs is a little push, and he'll practically sabotage this team ALL by himself! After all, once a Mal Hombre, ALWAYS a Mal Hombre!" / Harvey says: "I'm sure, in her own WEIRD way, Bulma MEANS well; it's just hard to trust her based on what she did in season three. If I'm GOING to trust her, she has to PROVE to me that she's TRUSTWORTHY first! See how that works?" Fee pops in, and she says: "I certainly do!" / Gonard sighs in frustration, and he says: "Honestly, I don't know WHAT I ever SAW in Bulma back in season three! At least I'm ABOVE such stupid infatuation now!" / Bulma scoffs, and she says: "Not ONLY is Zim a ticking time bomb, but Gonard has a lot of NERVE calling ME on the carpet! After all, if it wasn't for that STUPID voice recorder that Gonard carried in season three, NOBODY would've found out what I was responsible for! Mark my words, if the Blue Barracudas and the Silver Snakes get teamed up together in THIS challenge, I'm going to make SURE Zim and Gonard get ELIMINATED purely on PRINCIPLE!" / Zarbon says: "I had hoped that given some time and humiliation, Bulma would've completely given up trying to use her old scheming ways, but it looks like SOME habits die harder than others! All I know is, you won't see ME falling for any of HER schemes ever again! I DON'T make the same mistakes, TWICE!" / Squidward chuckles, and he says: "It's a PERFECT plan! The only REASON Spongebob is acting mature, is because he has the help of his 'Other FRIENDS', to support him! But take away his support, and he will be back to annoying me, and I'll get famous FASTER than you can say 'Easy Street' in Spanish!" (End Confessional)

Sniz rings a gong, and over the loudspeakers, he says: "Attention Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas, Rube Goldfish and Dora the Explorer, are now officially a Green Monkey and a Silver Snake respectively! Also, Green Monkeys and Silver Snakes, Judy Funny and Sway-Sway were eliminated at the last Elimination Ceremony! Please report to the Moat to find out about today's challenge! That is all!" Spongebob says: "Wow! Sway-Sway got eliminated? Poor, Buhdeuce. He's probably taking it REALLY hard right now!" (Confessional) Buhdeuce is crying his eyes out, and drowning his sorrows by eating a WHOLE bowl of Neapolitan Ice Cream! Buhdeuce says: "Sway-Sway, I MISS you!!!!" Pearl pops in and she says: "Come on! You have to pull yourself together! Sway-Sway WANTS you to keep going! Come on! You got to get ready for the challenge!" Pearl, being as big as she is, merely picks Buhdeuce and his ice cream up, and he says: "Please support me, Sway-Sway!" (End Confessional) Stimpy says: "I hear you, Spongebob! It's...not easy, to miss someone you really care about." Marlene asks: "You're talking about Lil, right?" Stimpy says: "Of course I am! Who ELSE would I be talking about?" Dog says: "Maybe Haggis?" Stimpy says: "Right! Him, to! Maybe...if I KNEW he was all right and stuff, it would make me feel less distracted!" Super Chum says: "You should ask Johnny Krill about it! I mean, he DOES now work for the show, maybe HE can tell you if he's all right!" Stimpy says: "Good idea! I'll do that, as soon as I get a chance!"

(Confessional) Stimpy says: "Rube...told me the truth about what happened to Ren. He watched the show, and he saw both Ren AND Master Coelaceanth confess, that Ren was POSSESSED by Master Coelaceanth! Even IF that's true, I STILL shouldn't trust Ren again; I thought that I would have CLOSURE with Ren! I do NOT want to be the kind of EX boyfriend/husband who visits THEIR Ex boyfrined/husband while they're in jail! That's both AWKWARD and NOT very ATTRACTIVE!" / Super Chum says: "I always help a fellow contestant in need! It's both the friendly, AND the right thing to do!" (End Confessional) The contestants suit up into their team colors, and gather up at the Moat! Sniz says: "Welcome to another challenge of Total Cartoon Legends!" General Barracuda says: "And believe me when I say, that when today is all done, you're going to know MORE about First Aid than you EVER thought you could learn about!" Otto says: "And I suppose you're going to tell us why THAT is!" General Barracuda says: "Not me, but Olmec will! Tell us about today's legend!" Olmec says: "Today's legend is the Legend of the First Aid Kit of Florence Nightingale!"

Sniz says: "You heard Olmec! Now, in Florence Nightingale's time during the 19th century, one of the than brand new modes of transportation of power, was a steam power boat! So, in order to get across the Moat today, you will be providing your OWN steam power, as you LITERALLY paddle your boat across the Moat! In teams of four, each team will paddle their boat across the Moat! Once one team of four gets across, they will use the rope pulley system to send their boat back, so the other team of four can get across. Once both teams of four get across, you will ring your Gong pedestal, to signify that you have finished crossing! And as always, where you finish, will determine which team that you are playing with! Green Monkeys, since you have two additional players, you'll have to sit two of your own out." Po goes up to Rube, and Po says: "I think you should sit this one out. After all, the sooner you talk to your mother, the better!" Rube asks: "You're NOT serious?!" And Po nods. Rube sighs in defeat, and he says: "Okay, I'll sit this one out." And Wally looks at Rube, quite puzzled. (Confessional) Wally says: "Look, I'm not sure WHAT is going on with Rube! But I do know that Rube IS Bubble Bass' son, both from the future AND right now! And I know that I like Bubble Bass, so I'm pretty sure that I'll like Rube to! So, if something is troubling him, I think I'd like to help him! It just feels like the right thing to do!" (End Confessional) Wally says: "I'll sit this one out to. I'd like to help Rube find out more about our team!"

Sniz says: "Very well. Daggett, Kitty, Taotie, and Bulma will make up the first team for the Silver Snakes, Po, Super Chum, Dog, and Marlene will make up the first team for the Green Monkeys, Otto, Sandy, Pearl, and Larry will make up the first team for the Red Jaguars, and Dudley, Zarbon, Chameleon, and Harvey will make up the first team for the Blue Barracudas. All other contestants will be in the second team! And since you will be utilizing your own steam power to get across the Moat, what better way to get across, than with Peter Gabriel's hit song, 'Steam'?!" Larry says: "Got to hand it to them, they ALWAYS know how to pick out a good song!" Wally goes up to Rube, and Rube says: "Hey, thanks for sitting this one out with me." Wally says: "No problem. I'm a REALLY good friend of your dad!" Rube says: "That is true. Maybe you can fill me in on something. My dad used to normally WEAR clothes all the time, but now he doesn't. Why?" Wally says: "Well, during a space-themed challenge in Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, the rocket the two of us were in, KIND of hit some turbulence! During the confusion, our clothes were ripped to shreds, and we BOTH got doused in some gravy that gave us super powers! He got the power to control bubbles! And I got the power of Telekinesis!" And Wally demonstrates by lifting RUBE up in the air! Rube says: "Amazing!" Wally puts him down and says: "Weird! I was TRYING to think of fruit, but I had no idea I could also use my powers on things that WEREN'T food related! I got to remember that for future reference! Anyways, Rube, once your dad got his powers, he realized his clothes had actually been holding him back from reaching his true potential and his full happiness! He felt much happier without his clothes, than he ever felt with them. I think that's the reason why, unless it's really cold, in which case he wears his Wolf Boy costume, he doesn't wear clothes. He honestly feels happier that way, and I do, to!" Rube says: "Wow, thanks for telling me that! You think you could help tell my MOM, that?!"

Blonda asks: "Tell me what?" Rube says: "Mother? MOTHER!!!! It's funny, Wally and I were talking, and, we were kind of wondering...have you lost WEIGHT?! A LOT of WEIGHT?!" And Po face-palms himself! (Confessional) Po says: "That is NOT how to begin a conversation with your MOTHER, past, present, OR future, or some weird combination of ALL of the above!" (End Confessional) Blonda says: "Oh, it was SO much easier to CONTROL my weight, back when I HAD immortality! Even though I can STILL use magic, I'm not REALLY allowed to use it on myself, OR during this competition! Have you come to get magic tips from me?" Rube THINKS about it, and he says: "Actually, yeah! It would be nice to learn some magic from you, like I will in the future...uh, try not to think TOO hard about how THAT logic works!" Blonda says: "Well, in MY experience, you've ALWAYS got to make sure that you word your magic VERY carefully and very PRECISELY! After all, if you don't say EXACTLY what you mean, the slightest mistake could cause your magic to manifest in ways you DON'T want it to! So, my advice, is to ALWAYS think before you speak, both in magic, AND in general!" Rube says: "That sounds like VERY good advice! Thanks, Mom!" (Confessional) Rube says: "Okay! 'Think BEFORE I speak!' That's what I need to do! Oh, I'm going to need a LOT of thinking in order to word it to my MOM just right!" (End Confessional) Keswick goes up to Treeflower, and he asks: "Treeflower, do you think Rube Goldfish might be a good choice for US to take to the Final Three?" Treeflower discreetly says: "Just keep your eyes open and your mouth shut." Keswick says: "Can do, fellow genius!" Sniz says: "All right! Let's get summer started right! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" / During the montage, Dora whispers something discreetly into Zim's antennae, and Zim gets the 'Bright' idea to try to ZAP the other team's paddle-boats only to remain completely OBLIVIOUS to the fact that Dora is using hand-mirrors to make SURE his lasers ONLY hit the steam paddle boats being rowed by the Blue Barracudas and the Silver Snakes! /

Peter Gabriel sings: "So, stand back! Said, stand back! What are those dogs doing sniffing at my feet? They're on to something, picking up; picking up this heat, this heat! Give me steam! And how you feel to make it real, real as anything you've seen! Get a life with this dreamer's dream! You know your culture from your trash! You know your plastic from your cash! When I lose sight of the track, you know the way back, but I know you! You know your stripper from your paint! You know your sinner from your saint! Whenever heaven's doors are shut, you kick them open but I know you! Give me steam, and how you feel to make it real, real as any place you've been! Get a life with the dreamer's dream! Stand back! Stand back! Can't you see I've lost control? I'm getting indiscreet! You're moving in so close, 'til I'm picking up; picking up this heat, this heat! Give me steam! And how you feel to make it real, real as anything you've seen! Get a life with this dreamer's dream! You know your green from your red! You know the quick from the dead! So much better than the rest, you think you've been blessed, but I know you! You know your ladder from your snake! You know the throttle from the brake! You know your straight line from a curve, you've got a lot of nerve! But I know you! Give me steam, and how you feel to make it real, real as any place you've been! Get a life with the dreamer's dream! Everybody nosedive; hold your breath, count to five. Back slap, booby trap, cover it up in bubble wrap. Room shake, earthquake, find a way to stay awake. It's going to blow, it's going to break! This is more than I can take! Oh yeah, I need steam! Feel the steam all around me! Ah, you're turning up the heat! When I start to dream aloud; see you move your hands and feet. Won't you step into this cloud of steam? This steam! Give me steam, and how you feel to make it real, real as anything you've seen? Get a life with this dreamer's dream! Help me, yeah! Ready to steam out the log jam! Stir crazy from the freezer to the boil! Water's bubbling, it's b..b..b..bubbling, bubbling, bubbling, bubbling, bubbling, bubbling like it's coming to a boil! Give me steam, lady! Give me steam around me now! Aah, coming alive, coming alive, said give me some steam!" /

And the sequence ends as the Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars get ALL of their contestants across first, while the Blue Barracudas and the Silver Snakes CAN'T even finish, due to their steam paddle boats being too damaged! Sniz says: "And it's all over! The Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars will be competing together again, which means the Blue Barracudas will once again be teamed up with the Silver Snakes! So much for the Silver Snakes having a winning streak!" Bulma goes up to Dora, and she says: "I SAW what you DID, you little SNEAK! You REFLECTED Zim's LASERS onto OUR paddle boat! I'm ONTO you! You SO can't DO that!" And Dora tosses a $1,000 dollar bill to Sniz! Sniz says: "Actually, yes, she CAN! She's richer than you!" (Confessional) Bulma fumes, and she says: "Well-played, Dora, well-played. But you CAN'T throw away money FOREVER, not the way I can!" / Dora says: "I don't know what BULMA is complaining about, she wants Zim to lose ANYWAYS, I'm simply speeding the process along!" / Zim says: "My aim was TRUE! So why did it only hit the boats of the Blue Barracudas and the Silver Snakes?! Granted, I wasn't looking, but SOMETHING must be up!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "In any case, we've got to get our contestants dried up, but be sure to come back, for more Total Cartoon Legends!" / (Commercial Break) /

After the commercials end, the contestants are beginning to gather at the Steps Of Knowledge. Po says: "Hey, Wally. I've never really known you as being one to turn down performing in a challenge before. Why did you do that?" Wally says: "I just wanted to get to know out newest team-mate, better! Besides, he IS Bubble Bass' son. I like Bubble Bass, so I figured I would probably like him to, and I do!" Po says: "Well, did you know..." Po leans close to Wally, and whispers so only Wally can hear Po, and Wally responds: "Really? Well, I don't see why THAT'S so big of a deal!" Po whispers: "He STILL hasn't TOLD his mother!" Wally's eyes gain a big, concerned look, and he says: "Oh, that WILL be a problem!" (Confessional) Wally says: "Look if someone likes to do something, and it has no bearing on MY personal enjoyment of life or freedom in general, it's personally fine with me. I just don't think it's healthy for Rube to keep secrets from his mother. After all, the bond between a child and a parent is one of the most sacred ones in the entire world, and I wouldn't want one to get damaged for ANY reason! I think I NEED to talk to Rube!" (End Confessional) Wally goes to Rube, and Wally says: "Rube! Don't you think that NOW would be a good time to TELL your mother something she should know?" Rube says: "Come on! My mom knows I LOVE her! What kind of child WOULDN'T love their mother?!" Wally says: "That's NOT what I mean! I...know. Po told me! You HAVE to talk to her!" Rube asks: "NOW?" Wally says: "NOW!"

And Rube groans in frustration! Wally in sincerity mode, says: "I knew you'd understand!" (Confessional) Wally says: "I think the reason why Rube listens to me BETTER than he listened to Po, is that Po is just one of Rube's team-mates. But I'm Bubble Bass' best friend. Talking to me, is the next best thing to talking to his father! I mean, I don't PRETEND to know everything that Bubble Bass knows, but I want to help Rube out just the same as his dad would, and does!" / Rube groans, and he says: "This is gonna SUCK!!" (End Confessional) Rube goes up to Blonda, and he says: "Mother, we need to talk." Blonda says: "You don't need to tell me that you love me, of COURSE I know that you love me! What kind of child WOULDN'T love their mother?!" Rube says: "That's not what I meant! I have to tell you something discreetly!" Rube whispers into his mother's ear, and Blonda says: "You are a WHAT?!!!" And her voice echoes off the walls of the studio! Blonda says: "I am SO underappreciated! I work late days, and late nights, in a Fairy World television and/or movie studio, making shows and films for the masses, to support my husband AND my child, and WHAT thanks do I get?! My child is TECHNICALLY...I CAN'T even SAY it!" Rube says: "Technically, that only counts for ME! The present version of me is STILL wearing diapers!" Blonda says: "And have you NOT told me...I'm NOT even SURE what the correct tense is; for the NEXT 20 years?!" Rube says: "Come on! I haven't been doing this ALL my life! Just since I was 18, when I LEGALLY became an adult!" Blonda asks: "And THAT makes it BETTER?!" Rube shrugs his shoulders, and he says: "Theoretically?" Blonda screams: "Where...or should I say, 'WHEN', will I go wrong?!" Rube slumps, and he says: "Come on, Mom. Don't be like THIS!" Bubble Bass asks: "Be like what?!" Blonda screams: "It's YOUR doing! You encouraged him to be like this, just admit it!" Bubble Bass says: "Hold on! I don't even KNOW what you're talking about!" Rube says: "Come on! I came to this decision on my own!" Bubble Bass asks: "What decision? Will somebody fill me IN already?!" Rube says: "Long story short, my clothes are a magical illusion." Bubble Bass turns to Blonda, and he asks: "THAT'S what YOU'RE freaking out about?!"

Blonda says: "I had HOPES for Rube! I had DREAMS!!!! How can he FULFILL his dreams if he's like YOU?!" Bubble Bass sourly asks: "What do you mean, 'Like me'?"  Blonda's face blanches in horror, and she says: "Come on! I didn't...mean it like THAT!" Bubble Bass asks: "What DID you mean by it, than?!" Blonda says: "I just thought he could be an actor! Reach his full potential!" Bubble Bass asks: "And I HAVEN'T?!" Blonda says: "Come on! Whatever I say, you'll take it the WRONG way!" Rube says: "Come on, Mom. You're over-reacting to all of this!" Blonda says: "Stay out of this! This DOESN'T concern you! What do I have to do to make SURE this doesn't happen?!" Bubble Bass says: "Hold up! You want to blame ME for this...fine son of ours? Go ahead, blame me! But I REFUSE to let you change Rube in such a way that he DOESN'T want!" Blonda says: "He's MY child to; I'm his mother! I only carried him around for nine months and gave BIRTH to him! How can he have THIS personality?!" Bubble Bass says: "His personality is fine! If ANYONE has a personality problem, it's YOU!! Yes, OUR Rube is still a child now, but this Rube, he LOVES us, and he's happy the way he is! Why can't YOU be?!" Blonda asks: "Was it TOO much to ask for that I be the ONLY normal member of this family!" Bubble Bass yells: "HEY!!!! That's going TOO far!" Blonda yells: "I can't WORK like this! I'm going to MY dressing room!" Blonda flies to her dressing room, and finding it FAR too small to contain her anger, she simply screams: "BIGGER!!!!" And her magic wand MAGICALLY changes her dressing room into a seven floor hotel suite, and she enters it, and closes the door in a huff! Otto says: "Wow! I thought mothers were supposed to send children to their OWN rooms, not exile themselves in reverse!"

Bubble Bass hugs Rube, and he says: "Don't worry about Blonda. She...has a hard time accepting the truth. I know she loves you, regardless of anything that happens. Someday, she will realize this is who you are. I just want to let you know that I accept you for who you are. You don't have to change for me." Rube wipes a single tear from his eye, and he says: "Thanks, dad. I...really needed to hear that." (Confessional) Rube sighs, and he says: "That's the problem with doing the right thing, sometimes. Sometimes, you do it by yourself." / Blonda is crying her eyes out, and eating a BIG bowl of Neapolitan ice cream by herself, as she sings Whitney Houston's "Where Do Broken Hearts Go?" Blonda sings: "Where do broken hearts go? Can they find their way home?!" / Bubble Bass says: "Regardless of anything else that happens, I know my son is HAPPY the way he is, and as long as I can help it, I won't let ANYONE take his happiness away from him!" (End Confessional) Sniz finally walks up to the Steps of Knowledge, and he says: "Okay, I'm ready! Uh, where in the world is Blonda?!" Spongebob says: "Uh, I THINK she pulled a 'Squidward'!" Squidward says: "A 'Squidward'?! Is THAT what you're calling it, now?" Spongebob groans, and he says: "Oh, STOP pretending like you WANT to talk to me! I don't find it amusing anymore!" Squidward says: "Well, when am I SUPPOSED to talk to you?! When you weren't LISTENING to me?! You never did THAT before!" Spongebob says: "Look, if you CAN'T accept the fact that I'm mature, and no longer interested in you, that's YOUR personal problem! But I REFUSE to take any responsibility for any neurotic symptoms that you happen to have in relationship to me! I have enough to worry about, without adding YOU into the equation!" Squidward says: "Oh, STOP kidding yourself! You'll need me SOMEDAY! What will happen if your FRIENDS get eliminated FIRST and can't help KEEP you mature?! You'll wish you had someone like ME to annoy! So LOYAL, so TRUSTING; ALWAYS BY YOUR SIDE!!!!" Johnny Krill walks out of his dressing room in his Temple Guard outfit, and he says: "Oh, will you give it UP and drop the crazy act already?!"

Stimpy says: "THANK you! And by the way, I'm glad you came out! I need to ask you a question!" Johnny says: "Is it a quick one? I need to find a room to guard. Nothing personal, I'm just doing my job." Stimpy says: "I understand that. Look, do you know if Haggis is okay after his elimination?" Johnny says: "As a matter of fact, he is. Wanda healed him up, and he's now on a vitamin regiment to keep his back healthy and strong!" Stimpy breathes in relief, and he says: "That's good to know. That's all I needed to know! You may go, now!" Johnny says: "Thank you, Stimpy!" (Confessional) Johnny says: "I'm flattered somebody wanted to know something from me. Just because I'm a Temple Guard, doesn't mean I can't be nice and sociable when I'm NOT guarding a room!" / Stimpy says: "Now that I know that Haggis is okay, I REFUSE to be distracted by anything else; and if I STILL need to see Ren, I will do it only AFTER I get eliminated, and NOT before! I refuse to have anymore surprises during this season!" (End Confessional) Dora is getting impatient and she says: "Look, can we just cut the nonsense and get to me WINNING already?!" Tigress says: "Shut up, POSER!! You haven't EARNED the right to brag like ME, yet! And you BETTER not try ANYTHING that IMPEDES my way of winning! After all, the Internet is an EASY way to find out the city where YOU live! Oh, don't worry, I won't kill you; you'd probably WELCOME that! But you probably WILL lose any baby teeth you STILL might have!" Dora says: "Oh, don't worry! I would NEVER try to interfere with YOU winning!" Tigress says: "Well, see that you DON'T!" (Confessional) Dora takes out a notepad, and she says: "Okay! Directly targeting Tigress is OUT! I'll have to figure a way to find SOMEONE to arranger Tigress' elimination FOR me! But first, I must FINISH what I started; getting RID of Zim and Gonard!" / Tigress says: "Winning, my FOOT! Dora would have to be at LEAST 18, and 60 pounds STRONGER before she can even THINK of stepping into a ring with ME!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Okay! Because Dora insists on it, we'll get to the Legend! Olmec, tell us about the Legend of the First Aid Kit of Florence Nightingale!"

Olmec says: "On May 12, 1820, Florence Nightingale was born in the city of Florence, Italy. She rose to prominence as an English social reformer, humanitarian, and helped found the modern day nursing training and theory. Although she first entered the nursing field in 1844, it was only during the Crimean War, that Florence Nightingale first gained recognition for organizing for the care of wounder soldiers in the city of Constantinople, now modern day Istanbul. On October 21, 1854, Florence and a staff of 38 volunteer women nurses and 15 Catholic Nuns, arrived in the Ottoman Empire. Once there, Florence and her team found that the wounded soldiers were being provided very poor care there. Medicines were in short supply, hygiene was being neglected, and mass infections were common. After she sent a plea to The Times Newspaper, the British Government commissioned a prefabricated hospital to be built. The result was the Renkioi Hospital, a facility which reduced the death rate from 42% to a mere 2%; said to be because Florence Nightingale made the improvements in hygiene herself, by implementing handwashing and other hygiene practices. After Florence returned to Great Britain, Florence reduced even peacetime deaths in the army, and introduced the practice of sanitation into working-class homes, and hospitals in general. The legend states that wherever Florence Nightingale went, she would always carry a First Aid Kit with her. After her experience in the Crimean War, Florence Nightingale set up the Nightingale Fund to train nurses to follow in her experience, eventually setting up the Florence Nightingale School of Nursing and Midwifery. In 1883, Florence Nightingale became the first recipient of the Royal Red Cross. While Florence Nightingale died peacefully in her sleep on August 13, 1910, at the age of 90, her First Aid Kit was nowhere to be found. It eventually found it's way to the Temple. Your job is to retrieve the First Aid Kit of Florence Nightingale and bring it back here."

Sniz says: "Thanks Olmec! Where can the First Aid Kit of Florence Nightingale be found?" Olmec says: "The First Aid Kit of Florence Nightingale can be found in the Pharaoh's Tomb" Sniz says: "All right, you know the drill. Olmec will ask you questions, and you will answer! And Green Monkeys and Silver Snakes, if one of you gets to the bottom first, you will receive a valuable Immunity Pendant of Life. The other team will have to find it somewhere during the challenge course. Oh, I almost forgot to mention one thing Silver Snakes. If the Green Monkeys win THIS challenge, your team and the Blue Barracudas shall cease to exist!" Chameleon asks: "What?! But why?!" Sniz says: "Because, if the Green Monkeys win this challenge, they will be forced to give up two of their own, one to the Blue Barracudas, and one to the Silver Snakes. As such, the team dynamics will be shaken up SO much, the Blue Barracudas and the Silver Snakes, will have to become the two OTHER teams on the Legends of the Hidden Temples! I needed a way to fit ALL the team colors in! So, hopefully, you can step up to the plate. If not, I hope you enjoy being the Orange Iguanas and the Purple Parrots respectively!" (Confessional) Dora says: "Eh, I could live with being a Purple Parrot. Purple is really more of MY color anyways!" / Squidward says: "I can't be an Orange Iguana! Orange is so NOT my color, even if it IS Nickelodeon's Studio logo color! Our team HAS to win this challenge!" / Bulma says: "It personally doesn't matter WHICH team color and/or animal I'm playing for; Dora will STILL be going down!" / Treeflower Fields: "Two of our own? But how could we POSSIBLY choose?! Normally, I'd nominate Spongebob, but I don't want to risk getting HIM mad, so he's out of the question. I can't lose Keswick, we're in an ALLIANCE together! Realistically, I think Dog and Po our are best bet; because Dog is expendable anyways, and Po is SO attached to Tigress, it really WOULDN'T be losing a contestant anyways! So, I think I've got this completely under control!" (End Confessional) Treeflower says: "No problem, Sniz, we'll take our chances in this challenge!"

Sniz says: "You heard them, Blue Barracudas and Silver Snakes! Winning will be totally up to you! Olmec, take it away!" Olmec asks: "When and where was Florence Nightingale born?" Treeflower rings in and she says: "May 12, 1820, in Florence, Italy." Olmec says: "That is correct." And she and Spongebob go down a step. Dora asks: "Bulma, why didn't YOU answer?" Bulma scoffs, and she says: "Because I can ALWAYS find the Immunity Pendant! It's one of my SPECIAL skills, a skill which YOU will never find out MY secret to!" (Confessional) Dora asks: "Does she have a secret? I DOUBT it! But I WILL find the Immunity Pendant FIRST!" / Bulma says: "Of COURSE I don't have a secret! I simply use logical algorithm's to determine WHERE the Immunity Pendant will be hidden next! It's basic third grade education by MY standards!" (End Confessional) Olmec asks: "When did Florence Nightingale first enter the Nursing field?" Spongebob rings in and he says: "1844!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Squidward begins to look WORRIED! (Confessional) Squidward says: "Uh-oh! Maybe Spongebob ISN'T faking being mature! And if he's NOT faking being mature...I'm in trouble!" (End Confessional) Olmec asks: "During which war, and in what city, did Florence Nightingale first implement modern day nursing practices?" Treeflower rings in, and she says: "In the Crimean War, in the city of Constantinople, now called Istanbul, Turkey!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Spongebob and Treeflower step to the bottom of the Steps Of Knowledge, and Sniz says: "Congratulations! You've won an Immunity Pendant of Life! Which one of you will hold onto it?" Spongebob says: "I'll let Treeflower hold onto it. She NEEDS it more than I do!" And Treeflower looks weirdly at him!

(Confessional) Treeflower says: "WHAT?! He's letting ME have the Immunity Pendant of Life?! I mean, who DOES that?! I mean, there's being generous, and there's just being STUPID!" / Spongebob says: "I know Treeflower will WANT to use the Immunity Pendant of Life against me, but if she's really smart like she SAYS she is, she won't! Because she knows that if SHE tries to vote me off, everyone else will HATE her, and she will NEVER win the challenge! There ARE advantages to being nice and generous!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! The Steps Of Knowledge are over, it's time to go over to the Challenge Arena! To determine which two teams will be performing the Temple Run, you will have to 'Cure' a patient of your own. To make it so that even ZIM can understand it, you will be performing it like the video game, Dr. Mario. Inside these fake bodies, there are red, yellow, and blue viruses. Utilizing ONLY a pill color combination that will work against them, you will have to carefully throw the pills into the correct pill tube, so that it will fall onto the correct virus. Remember, ONLY pills that are thrown CORRECTLY will count towards your final score! Whichever team set-up, throws the most CORRECT pills into their fake body, will get to go into the Temple!" Blonda FINALLY comes out of her dressing room, and she joins the rest of the Silver Snakes! Rube says: "Hi mom! Did you lose WEIGHT?! A LOT of WEIGHT?!!!" Blonda merely looks at Taotie, and she says: "Taotie, please tell my son that I am NOT speaking to him!" Taotie says: "I don't wish to tell you this, but your mom says that she is not..." Rube says: "I'm RIGHT here! I can HEAR every single word that she is SAYING!!!!" Blonda says: "Taotie, please tell my son that ONLY means that I DON'T have to repeat myself!" Taotie says: "Your mom says that ONLY means that she DOESN'T have to repeat herself!" And Bubble Bass rolls his eyes in frustration!

(Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "I'm beginning to wonder if loving SPONGEBOB, would be EASIER than this? Blonda certainly isn't MAKING it easy! Not for me, OR for our son!" / Rube says: "I suppose SOME families have been through WORSE moments than this...none come to my mind at the moment!" / Taotie rolls his eyes, and says: "I hate being a go-between!" (End Confessional) Bulma WAITS until she can see that nobody else is LOOKING, and she SLIDES underneath the fake body that the Silver Snakes will have to treat, looks around in it, and she pulls OUT an Immunity Pendant of Life for the Silver Snakes! Bulma says: "Exactly where my algorithm SAID it would be!" (Confessional) Bulma admires her Immunity Pendant, and she says: "Dora doesn't need to worry, not yet! After all, merely ELIMINATING her would be FAR too unsatisfying! I just want to fire a WARNING shot across her nose, to let her know EXACTLY who she is dealing with!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Oh, I almost forgot! Green Monkeys, you will have to sit out two contestants for this challenge segment!" Stimpy says: "Uh, I don't feel comfortable working in somebody else's body, even if it is fake. I'll sit this one out." Marlene says: "I'm with you! If THEY want to work in somebody else's body, they can have at it!" Sniz says: "All right! We'll put three minutes on the clock, and we'll even play Robert Palmer's Bad Case of Loving You to get you into the right mood! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" / During the competition, Rube purposefully makes SURE that Blonda pays attention to all the CORRECT throws he makes, Gonard honestly TRIES his best at throwing pills, but he keeps THROWING them into the wrong pill tubes, while Zim throws pills without even LOOKING at what pills he's picking up, or pill tubes he's throwing them into, all while Robert Palmer sings "Bad Case of Loving You". /

Robert Palmer sings: "A hot summer night fell like a net! I've gotta find my baby yet! I need you to soothe my head! Turn my blue heart, to red! Doctor Doctor, gimme the news, I got a bad case of lovin' you! No pill's gonna cure my ill, I've got a bad case of lovin' you! A pretty face, don't make no pretty heart! I learned that buddy, from the start! You think I'm cute, a little bit shy! Mama, I ain't that kind of guy! Doctor Doctor, gimme the news, I got a bad case of lovin' you! No pill's gonna cure my ill, I got a bad case of lovin' you! I know you like it, you like it on top! Tell me mama, are you gonna stop? You had me down, twenty-one to zip! Smile of Judas on your lip! Shake my fist, knock on wood! I've got it bad, and I got it good! Doctor Doctor, gimme the news, I've got a bad case of lovin' you! No pill's gonna cure my ill, I got a bad case of lovin' you!" / And the song ends as the time ends! Sniz says: "Okay! Time is up! It's time to see which teams got the most correct points! The Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars got one, three, seven, ten, 16, 21 correct throws, and SOMEHOW, the Blue Barracudas and the Silver Snakes didn't manage to make ANY correct throws! That means the Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars are going to the Temple! Blue Barracudas and Silver Snakes, you'll need to wait around to find out your fate! Now, it's time to find out who's going to enter the Temple! Tigress, since you went last time, you have to let someone else go this time!" Tigress rolls her eyes, and says: "Fine! Let Gerald go!" Pearl asks: "You want GERALD to go into the Temple?! He's a guaranteed CATCH by Kaput and Snaptrap!" Tigress says: "EXACTLY!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Sniz can MAKE me let my OTHER team-mates go into the Temple, but it will be a WASTE of TIME if it's not ME!!!!" / Pearl says: "Tigress' brutal honesty NEVER ceases to amaze me!" / Gerald says: "Don't worry, I've got this! I am completely cool!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "All right! Who will go for the Green Monkeys?" Rube says: "I will! I have to prove myself to my team, AND to my Mother!" And Blonda looks in shock! (Confessional) Blonda says: "Why did Rube call me 'Mother' in THAT tone?! Is he TRYING to make ME look like the bad guy in this scenario? Good luck with THAT!" / Rube says: "I don't CARE what my mom thinks! If I can't prove it to her in WORDS, I'll prove it through my actions!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Pay attention! Olmec will tell you how to get through the Temple!" Olmec says: "First, go into the Lost Library. Pull on the correct book, and walk out onto the Ledge. Swing on the Rope, and knock down the Column, and head up into the Bell Tower! Ring the Bell, and head down into the Hall of Armor! Place yourself into the correct armor, but beware of a Temple Guard, that may be possessing one! Next, go into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey! Assemble the Monkey in the correct order, and go into the Emperor's Chamber! Smash the Clay Pots to find the key, that will allow you to go down the Slide, into the Mine Shaft. Smash through the Stone Wall, which will allow you to go into the Dark Forest! Place the key into the right tree, which will allow you to go into the Pharoah's Tomb, where you can find the First Aid Kit of Florence Nightingale! Find the right key, and go into the Room of Switches! Push on the correct button, that will allow you to go back through the Pit, than through the Ledges, and you will find yourself back at the Temple Entrance! You have three minutes to complete this task! I wish you both the best of luck!" Sniz says: "All right! You heard them! Gerald, get ready! Rube, stand by! We will put three minutes on the Clock! On your mark, get set, GO!!!!"

Gerald takes off, and Sniz narrates the action along the way! Sniz says: "Gerald is in the Lost Library, and Kaput appears as a Temple Guard right off the bat! He gives up the Pendant, and he's found the right book! He's on the Ledge, he swings across, and he's knocked down the column! He's climbing back up, and he's heading into the Bell Tower! He's ringing the Bell, and the door opens into the Hall of Armor! Gerald needs to find the right suit of armor! Snaptrap as a Temple Guard has him! Go Rube, go! Rube's going through the Library, across the Ledge, into the Bell Tower, and down into the Hall of Amror! He's found the right suit of Armor! He's in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey, and Johnny Krill as a Temple Guard appears! He gives up his Pendant of Life, and Rube is now putting the Silver Monkey together. The Base, the stomach, and the head. He's done it! Into the Emperor's Chamber! He's smashing the clay pots, and he's found the key! Down the slide into the Mine Shaft, and he breaks through the Stone Wall. Now he's got to place the key into the right tree. He's found it. Into the Pharoah's Tomb; he's got the First Aid Kit of Florence Nightingale! All the rooms are open! Through the Room of Switches, through the Pit, and through the Ledges! Rube has made it out, with 30 seconds to spare! A great Temple Run!" Bubble Bass says: "See? Our son DIDN'T have any trouble WHATSOEVER!" Blonda says: "Just because he won ONE Temple Run, that doesn't mean that EITHER of you are RIGHT!" Bubble Bass says: "Of course not! Being RIGHT, would make me RIGHT; see how that works?" Rube says: "I just wanted to do the best that I can. Someday, Mom, I hope you'll see that. Dad, good luck in tonight's ceremony!" Sniz says: "That's right! Blue Barracudas and Silver Snakes, tonight will be your FINAL Elimination Ceremony, and your last chance to use a Blue Barracuda and Silver Snake Immunity Pendant! Green Monkeys, you need to come with me to, and choose two members to go to the NEW teams, of the Orange Iguanas, and the Purple Parrots!"

(Confessional) Daggett says: "Maybe it's just me, but I know that I will be GLAD to no longer be a villainous Silver Snake anymore!" / Kitty says: "I don't think it's any STRETCH of the imagination, to call the Silver Snakes the WORST team EVER! Maybe as a Purple Parrot, maybe we can finally start WINNING challenges on a more regular basis!" / Taotie says: "Maybe once I become a Purple Parrot, everyone else will take me more seriously as a competent contestant!" / Yakety says: "I think I'm on the road to make a record! This will be my THIRD new team during this whole season!" / Bulma says: "Listen carefully, Dora! In this game, the contestants get eliminated on MY terms! I'm winning the Goddess slot, MINIMUM! And you're not even in the RUNNING for it!" (End Confessional) The Blue Barracudas and the Silver Snakes are at an Elimination Ceremony, and the Green Monkeys are watching in anticipation! Sniz says: "Silver Snakes, I am VERY disappointed in you! You had SEVEN whole opportunities to dominate the challenge, and you only managed to pull it together just ONCE! Of course, Blue Barracudas, you weren't much better. It's because of your slipshod performances, that after tonight, your teams will cease to exist, as the Blue Barracudas will become the Orange Iguanas, and the Silver Snakes will become the Purple Parrots! But first, we have to find out who will stay, and who will go! You all know the drill, so go ahead and vote! Just be aware, that there are some contestants who MIGHT be holding an Immunity Pendant of Life right now! That being said, let's VOTE!!!!" And everyone quickly makes their choices! Sniz says: "Voting over, it's time--."

Bulma says: "Hold it! I just want EVERYONE to know that when I say that I'm GOING to get to the Goddess Slot, I mean it! I'm playing the Immunity Pendant on ME!!!!" And she slams the Silver Snake Immunity Pendant down, causing Dora to gasp in shock! (Confessional) Dora says: "Impossible! How does Bulma KEEP doing that?!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "The Pendant is real, that means all votes cast for Bulma will not count. Now--." Squidward says: "Hold it! She's not the only one who has an Immunity Pendant! I'm playing my own!" Bubble Bass chuckles, and he says: "He's smarter than I gave him credit for." Sniz says: "His Pendant is also real, that means all votes cast for Squidward will not count. Now, it's time to find out who will be safe. Daggett, Kitty, Harvey, Taotie, Dudley, Zarbon, obviously, Bulma; Chameleon, Fee, Bubble Bass, Yakety Yak, obviously, Squidward; and surprisingly, Dora!" And Dora breathes a sigh of relief! Meanwhile, Blonda, Gonard, and Zim tense up, as they are the ONLY contestants left! Sniz says: "Contestants, we have one final Chocolate Pendant of Life!" Gonard tries to strengthen his resolve, as if convinced that he's NOT leaving; Blonda chatters nervously, and Zim just closes his eyes, and braces himself! Sniz says: "It goes to, Blonda!" Blonda gasps: "I'm SAFE?!!! Bubble Bass, you DIDN'T vote me off?!" Bubble Bass says: "How could you even THINK I would do that?! It might surprise you, but there are SOME guys who AREN'T that petty! Yes, I'm a little upset with you with how you reacted to our son, but I KNOW that you are better than that, which is why I actually voted OFF Gonard and Zim! Nothing personal, you were just the weak links!" Gonard says: "Darn it! I really thought I could be an Orange Iguana!" Zim says: "You're eliminating the great ZIM?! You're making a mistake!" Daggett scoffs, and he says: "Please! The only mistake WE made was too NOT eliminate you sooner! Thankfully, that's a mistake we DON'T have to live with, unlike YOU!"

(Confessional) Blonda looks at her phone camera, and sees very FEW pictures of her with ANYBODY, save for Bubble Bass, and her infant son, Rube Goldfish. Blonda says: "I can't believe Bubble Bass didn't vote me off, even AFTER our argument. Have I TRULY misjudged my husband AND my son THAT badly?! Oh, how am I EVER going to make it up to THEM?!" / Squidward says: "I HAD to play my Immunity Pendant! Hello! Everyone needs to know that I'm a force to be reckoned with!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Zim and Gonard, the teams have spoken. It's time to put on your helmets, and strap yourselves in." They put on their safety gear, and buckle themselves into the Mine Cart of Shame. Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Than 3, 2, 1, BLAST-OFF!!!!" And Zim and Gonard rocket down the Mine Track, and through the Mine Shaft of Losers Portal! Sniz says: "And just like that, two more losers are OUT of here! Speaking of 'Two', Green Monkeys, you must choose two of your own, to send onto the new teams. One for the Orange Iguanas, one for the Purple Parrots." Dog says: "I volunteer to go onto the Orange Iguanas!" Treeflower says: "You do?" Dog says: "Sure! I don't mind leaving this team! As far as I'm concerned, this is a FAR better thing that I do!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "I can't believe Dog ACTUALLY volunteered! Whatever, makes it easier for ME, and makes ME more likable!" (End Confessional) Po sighs, and he says: "And I volunteer to go into the Purple Parrots team." Stimpy asks: "But what will Tigress THINK?!" Po says: "Why do you think I'm volunteering? All Tigress seems to care about is winning, and I need to make her SEE that! If she won't listen to me as a Green Monkey, maybe she'll listen to me as a Purple Parrot!" In complete sincerity, Spongebob says: "All I can say is good luck, Po. Your fate is now mostly out of our hands, now."

Sniz says: "All right! Blue Barracudas, from this moment forth, you are now the Orange Iguanas! Silver Snakes, from this moment forth, you are now the Purple Parrots! May you both function better as THESE teams, than you did in your old teams! With this shake-up, things are bound to get more interesting! Who will rise to the top? Who will sink? Who will swim? And will Blonda realize just how much of a JERK-FACE she has been to her son AND her husband?!" Blonda sighs, and she says: "I'm starting, to!" Sniz says: "Find out for sure, on the next episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "Nine out of Ten Doctors recommend it!" / (Stinger) Zim and Gonard exit the portal, out into a LARGE room filled with people dressed as superhero's, Anime Characters, Power Rangers, and anything Science-Fiction related! Gonard says: "Are we ACTUALLY HERE?!!!" Zim asks: "Where is, 'Here'?" Gonard says: "Don't tell me you've lived for THIS long without ever hearing of the San Diego Comic-Con convention! It's one of the best opportunities for fans of ours to gather, to show us how much they LOVE us! I've always WANTED to go to one, and now I'm here!" Guano comes up to him, and he says: "You sure are! I was worried that I was going to have to represent the show of Kappa Mikey all by myself! But with you around, we'll be sure to make some decent sales!" Gonard says: "Sure! I'll be glad to help!" Zim asks: "What about me?" Gonard looks at him, and says: "You can go wherever, just don't do anything, nuts!" Zim says: "I think that's going to be PRETTY hard with all of THIS competition going around!" /

Episode Notes: Invader Zim and Gonard are eliminated in this episode. Dog and Po volunteer to go onto the brand new teams, of the Orange Iguanas and the Purple Parrots respectively. The Blue Barracudas become the Orange Iguanas, and the Silver Snakes become the Purple Parrots. Featured Songs in this episode, "Doctor, Doctor" originally performed by The Thompson Twins, "Steam" performed by Peter Gabriel, "Bad Case Of Loving You" performed by Robert Palmer, and a little bit of The Rolling Stones "Not Fade Away", and Whitney Houston's "Where Do Broken Hearts Go?". Eliminated Contestants: 46. Kowalski. 45. Private. 44. Kaput. 43. Johnny Krill. 42. Haggis McHaggis. 41. Monster Krumholtz. 40. Aang. 39. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 38. Darwin. 37. Heffer Wolfe. 36. Judy Funny. 35. Sway-Sway. 34. Invader Zim. 33. Gonard. Remaining Contestants: Daggett Beaver, Purple Parrots. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Orange Iguanas. Kitty Katswell, Purple Parrots. Harvey Beaks, Orange Iguanas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Blonda, Purple Parrots. Taotie, Purple Parrots. Tigress, Red Jaguars. Po, Purple Parrots. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Orange Iguanas. Zarbon, Orange Iguanas. Bulma Briefs, Purple Parrots. Chameleon, Orange Iguanas. Fee, Orange Iguanas. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Orange Iguanas. Yakety Yak, Purple Parrots. Squidward Tentacles, Orange Iguanas. Dora the Explorer, Purple Parrots. (Future Adult) Rube Goldfish, Green Monkeys. /

Personal Notes: It was only recently that I realized that despite having Po on this season, he really DIDN'T have a plot line for this season other than being Tigress' boyfriend. In order to fix this problem, I had to introduce a conflict into their relationship. To that end, Po wants a family, but Tigress doesn't. Also, the whole role of Blonda's character arc in this season, is slowly realizing just how horrible and petty she has been as an immortal fairy, and coming to terms with developing a good personality, for the sake of her husband and kid. Also, I thought Gonard and Zim could have bigger impacts and plots than they did; but nothing materialized for Gonard, and the only thing Zim had going for him, was being another crazy contestant in a season packed with too much crazy, which is why they got the shaft this time! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading this episode as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

Because I'm not quite ready to write another new episode just yet, I'll re-run my most recently completed one. Enjoy! / Sniz is standing on the Steps Of Knowledge, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Legends, we were down to 34 contestants. Po and Wally made the shocking discovery that Rube was TECHNICALLY a nudist, due to the fact that his clothes were a magical allusion! They both told Rube that he HAD to tell his mother, Blonda. Needless to say, when she found out...she didn't take it well. Meanwhile, Bulma and Dora both had plots for getting rid of Zim, but Bulma won out in the end, by finding the Immunity Pendant for the Silver Snakes. A good thing to, because when the Silver Snakes lost again, it became the LAST time they ended up losing! While the Green Monkeys won the Temple Run with RUBE'S help no less, Dog and Po ended up volunteering to go onto the new teams of the Orange Iguanas and the Purple Parrots respectively. Who made up the rest of the Orange Iguanas and the Purple Parrots respectively? No less than the former Blue Barracudas, and the Silver Snakes respectively, but not before both Invader Zim and Gonard, ended up taking a Mine Cart ride out of the game! Now we are down to 32 contestants, and every single team now has eight contestants on it. How will the new team dynamics, between the Orange Iguanas and the Purple Parrots fare against the Green Monkeys and the Silver Snakes? Will Blonda come to terms with the way her future son wants to live his life? And could time FINALLY be up for Squidward's relevance to Spongebob Squarepants? Find out on today's analytical episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "It is definitely worth analyzing!" / Instead of the normal show open, it shows clips of several different characters, both in the show proper, and from their OWN show footage, having communication troubles with each other, such as Spongebob with Squidward, Kitty with Chameleon, Blonda with Rube and Bubble Bass, Taotie with Po and Tigress, and Zarbon with Bulma, all to the tune of The B-52's 1986 song, "Communicate". /

The B-52's sing: "Let loose, before it causes problems. Let loose, before it tears you apart. Let loose, let loose. You gotta reach out - Reach out and touch someone. You gotta reach out - Reach out and touch someone. Boy (Oh girl) you better communicate before it's too late. You better start talking, you better talk! Let loose, before it causes problems. Let loose before it tears you apart! Don't bottle it up, don't bottle it up like a bottle of pop; a bottle of 7-Up! You better let it, talk from your heart and not just your brain! Talk from your heart and not just your brain! C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-E! (Your brain that is) C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-E! (Instrumental Break) Talk from your heart and not just your brain! Talk from your heart and not just your brain! C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-E! (Your brain that is) C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-E! Channel 17, Ho! Communicate, Ho! Communicate, Ho! Baby, baby, bounce it off the satellites, Yeah! Communicate, Ho! Communicate, Ho! Baby, baby, bounce it off the satellites, Yeah!" And the clip footage and song ends! / "The Legend Of The Work Book Of Sigmund Freud!" / It is still night-time, and Dog is actually enjoying his first night on the Orange Iguanas team! Dudley asks: "Say, Dog, are you actually happy here?" Dog says: "To be honest, I totally am!" Chameleon asks: "Don't you miss being in the fancy hotel with the other Green Monkeys?" Dog says: "A little, but I feel like I wasn't really getting a chance to shine with them. Hopefully, on this team, I'll have more room to make an impact!" Zarbon says: "Well, let's hope so! After all, we'll need such enthusiasm if we're going to make SURE that certain contestants, I.E., Bulma and Dora, LOSE before we do!" Harvey Beaks says: "I highly doubt that it's going to be as EASY as you make it sound!"

Fee says: "For starters, the Purple Parrots have already LOST most of the villainous characters who were PART of the Silver Snakes, so they have a lot more incentive to work together!" Bubble Bass says: "Not to mention, the Purple Parrots still HAVE Bulma's knowledge at their disposal! Regardless of whatever alignment she may have, she will STILL avail her own knowledge to them. And failing that, she will SURELY find an Immunity Pendant of Life to keep herself safe!" Chameleon says: "Speaking of safe, has anybody seen Squidward?" Bubble Bass groans, and he says: "He BETTER not be fixated on SPONGEBOB again! I SWEAR, if he's not fixated on HATING Spongebob, he's fixated on NEEDING Spongebob to annoy him!" (Confessional) Dog says: "I suppose I've just found out the meaning to the phrase, 'Can't live with them, can't live without them'." / Zarbon says: "Even though the Silver Snakes are TECHNICALLY no more, I still want to make sure Dora and Bulma get eliminated! Dora, mainly because she basically BLACKMAILED her way to get onto this show, and I find blackmail to be SUCH an UGLY way to get what you want. And I want Bulma gone, purely on principle. Hopefully, if Dog WANTS to make an impact, I think he will be QUITE useful to my plans!" / Fee says: "By this point, the only contestants who are left on the Purple Parrots who could be considered TRULY villainous, are Bulma, Dora, and Taotie, and maybe NOT even Taotie! Everyone else basically just wants to play the game! Ironically, MY biggest problem, is figuring out how to get past Tigress! She is by FAR, an inevitable obstacle I'll probably have to face towards getting towards the Final Five. If I can figure out HOW to get past her, the rest of the game will be relatively easier in comparison!" / Bubble Bass says: "In terms of Squidward losing his sanity? I think it's FINALLY happening. It took longer than I expected, but it's probably happening! I just need to check on him to make sure!" (End Confessional)

Bubble Bass knocks on Squidward's trailer door, and Squidward says: "Come in!" Bubble Bass says: "Squidward, I just wanted to make sure you were al..." But Bubble Bass' voice trails off, as he sees the MANY attempts that Squidward has made, at TRYING to write a song! Squidward says: "I did it! I think I FINALLY did it! I have FINALLY composed the song that will convince Spongebob to ANNOY me again!" Bubble Bass asks: "Oh, really? And what song would THAT be?" Squidward says: "An entirely ORIGINAL composition called 'I Love Spongebob'!" Bubble Bass scoffs, and he says: "Yeah! A song with the word or variation of the word 'Love' in the title! Like there aren't a MILLION of THOSE already!" Squidward yells: "Name TWENTY!!!!" Without ANY hesitation, Bubble Bass says: "Love Me Tender; Love Me Do; She Loves You; And I Love Her; All My Loving; Where Did Our Love Go; Stop In The Name Of Love; Baby Love; You Can't Hurry Love; Jefferson Airplane's Somebody To Love; All You Need Is Love; Summer of Love; Love Is Like a Heatwave; Love And Affection; Time, Love, and Tenderness; When A Man Loves A Woman; Love Shack; Not Enough Love In The World; Silly Love Songs; and Queen's Somebody To Love." Squidward yells: "Name six more!" STILL without any hesitation, Bubble Bass says: "I Love Rock n' Roll; I Love Rocky Road; Addicted To Love; Bad Case Of Loving You; I Just Can't Stop Loving You; and I Will Always Love You." Squidward says: "Name FIVE more!" STILL without ANY hesitation, Bubble Bass says: "Love So Right; Puppy Love; Who's Loving You; Endless Love: and Vision Of Love." Squidward says: "You're a REAL jerk-wad, you know that?!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh, really? Who's the jerk who's STILL obsessing over Spongebob? Not me! Why can't you just accept the fact that Spongebob has moved ON with his life, and you can do the same? I mean, you've FINALLY got what you've ALWAYS wanted! Spongebob leaving you ALONE!!!!" Squidward ruefully says: "Yeah, I finally got what I always wanted, and it's even WORSE than what my life was BEFORE! Story of MY life!"

Bubble Bass says: "You know, you DO have ONE option left to you; apologize to Spongebob!" Squidward yells: "NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!!!! There is not no way, not no how, I will EVER apologize for the way I've treated Spongebob! YOU might have apologized to Spongebob, SANDY might have apologized to Spongebob, even TREEFLOWER has apologized to Spongebob; Squidward Tentacles does NOT apologize to Spongebob!" Bubble Bass shrugs his shoulders, and he says: "Have it your way, than. Enjoy losing what's left of your sanity. I completely WASH my fins clean of any responsibility that you THINK that I have for you!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "If Squidward doesn't WANT to apologize to Spongebob, that's his problem! I've done everything I can for Squidward! From now on, he's on his own!" / Squidward says: "I've exhausted everything else I can think of! There's only ONE thing to do; go big, or go home! And I'm NOT about to go home just yet!" (End Confessional) Meanwhile, at the Purple Parrots trailers, everyone (besides Dora) is wondering on what they should do next. Daggett sighs, and he says: "With the exception of Kitty, I REALLY expected BETTER from most of you. You spent ALL your time fighting amongst each other, and where did it get us? The Silver Snakes team is now OFFICIALLY history! Maybe it WAS too much to ask for you to act the SLIGHTEST bit like an actual team, but you could've at LEAST humored us, and, PRETENDED to care!" Taotie says: "It's not my fault we were in a team full of sycophants and enablers of evil! But now, we have a chance to make a brand new start!" Kitty says: "And, as much as I hate to admit it, it's up to ALL of us to work together, to make the BEST of it!" Bulma says: "There's just ONE major obstacle that prevents us from achieving a cohesive team element!" Po asks: "Do you mean Dora?" Bulma says: "That's PRECISELY who I mean!" Blonda asks: "Well, why should WE choose YOU over Dora?! You both OBVIOUSLY want the SAME thing!"

Bulma sputters, and she says: "Are you out of your guilt-stricken MIND?!!! Dora and I have absolutely no INTEREST in wanting the same thing! She's competing for her OWN selfish interests! I'm TRYING to play a legitimate GAME, Blonda, you might want to TRY it, sometimes!" Yakety says: "To be fair, Blonda HAS played a pretty legitimate game so far!" Bulma calms down, and she says: "That's very true. Furthermore, I WOULD be willing to IGNORE all the past differences we have HAD together, if you HELP us, get RID of Dora!" Blonda sarcastically says: "Sure, why not? ANYTHING to keep the target off of YOU for another episode! You do realize you have NO realistic chance of WINNING this season, don't you?!" Bulma says: "I'd be content with getting the Goddess slot! Seventh Place! I got it on Total Cartoon Global Cruise, and I can get it again!" Blonda says: "You'd have to get past Tigress AND Zarbon before you can do THAT, and good luck doing it a SECOND time!" Bulma says: "Lucky for ME, I have something I DIDN'T have LAST time, the help of my LOYAL friend, Yakety Yak!"

(Confessional) Yakety blushes and squees in excitement! Yakety says: "Bulma called ME her loyal friend! I'm on my WAY to becoming a popular Nicktoon!" / Daggett says: "The Silver Snakes may be gone, but the Purple Parrots still have a few loose ends to tidy up. Namely, Dora and Bulma! I know Bulma's already figuring out how to find the Immunity Pendant for the Purple Parrots, so Dora is our next logical elimination, SHOULD we happen to lose! After all, it's better to HAVE a plan and not NEED it, than to need a plan and NOT have one!" / Taotie says: "Being surrounded by a bunch of OTHER evil contestants, has made me realize just how MUCH being evil in my spare time really SUCKED! It turns out, you really DO get a lot more done being nice, than you do by being evil and cruel!" / Kitty says: "I hate to admit it, but it really looks like Taotie is completely HONEST about turning over a new leaf. And if he is, than I owe it to him to give him a second chance. After all, whether I like it or not, we're in the same boat together, and we will sink OR swim together! And I'm in NO mood for sinking OR swimming!" / Bulma says: "The NERVE of Blonda, to say that Dora and I want the SAME thing! Like SHE'S one to TALK! She wants HER son to be something he's not! I know that my son WANTS to be a fighter; and while I personally would rather he didn't, you don't see ME going out of MY way to stop him! That's probably the biggest difference BETWEEN us; I'm ALLOWING my son, to be who he truly is." / Blonda sighs, and she says: "I'm in a REALLY bad place right now! I am SO unpopular with Rube and Bubble Bass right now! I just wish there was a way I could PROVE to them, that I accept them for who they are, and they would believe me, because I truly MEAN it! I just wish there was a way to DO that, without actually saying I'm WRONG! Because if that's the way that I HAVE to apologize to them...that would really SUCK!!!!" / Bulma says: "As much as I hate to admit it, Yakety IS my best friend and ally this season. And as such, it would NOT be in my best interest to betray him. So, it looks like he gets to stick by ME for the rest of the season, I learned MY lesson from LAST time!" (End Confessional)

Sniz rings a gong, and over the loud-speakers, he says: "Attention Red Jaguars! The Green Monkeys already know this, but the Blue Barracudas and the Silver Snakes are no more! They are now officially, the Orange Iguanas and the Purple Parrots respectively! Also, Zim and Gonard were eliminated at the last Elimination Ceremony, and Dog is now a member of the Orange Iguanas, and Po is now a member of the Purple Parrots! Please proceed to the Moat to learn about today's challenge! That is all!" Tigress sputters, and she says: "WHAT?!!! Po LEFT the Green Monkeys to be on some...LOSING team?!!! What was Po THINKING?!!!" Otto says: "You're asking the wrong guy. I don't know what you're boyfriend thinks!" Sandy says: "I think he was honestly tired of you always wanting to 'WIN' all the time! It's your WORST defining trait!" Gerald says: "Exactly! You only CARE about 'Winning'. You NEVER just want to have FUN!" Tigress yells: "Winning IS fun!!!!" Pearl says: "Even so, you don't have to have such a LOUSY personality in order to do it!" Tigress yells: "That's a LIE!!!! I have a PLENTY good personality! I'm the STRONGEST, SMARTEST, FASTEST, and TOUGHEST contestant in the HISTORY of this show! What could be a BETTER personality than THAT?!" Larry says: "Just about ANYTHING!" Tigress says: "Come ON! Even BUHDEUCE?!" Larry says: "ESPECIALLY Buhdeuce!" Buhdeuce says: "THANK you!" Larry says: "And trust me, I'm speaking from PERSONAL experience!" Jenny says: "It's true. He DID win Total Cartoon Action BASED on experience!"

(Confessional) Tigress says: "My WHOLE plan revolved around taking the BRAINS team and the BRAWN team, A.K.A., the Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars, utilizing their team talents WITH each other to get rid of the two OTHER teams, so that once the team merge hit, I could USE all my strength to DECIMATE the remaining Green Monkeys! Now Po has completely THROWN all my plans OFF! My plans did NOT include having to account for Po being on a DIFFERENT team than the Green Monkeys! Does he have ANY idea how difficult he has made MY plans?! Well, if he thinks being on a different team will stop ME from wanting to win, he's WRONG! I will NEVER want to stop WINNING!" / Sandy says: "I'll admit. I was a little upset over losing to Stimpy on Total Cartoon Island, but you don't see ME carrying a gigantic chip on my shoulder over it!" / Gerald says: "If Tigress could only learn to loosen up ONCE in a while, she might actually HAVE a decent personality!" / Pearl says: "Even my half-brother Bubble Bass, has a BETTER personality than Tigress! It's no WONDER he won Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back over HER!" / Buhdeuce says: "It's nice to know SOMEBODY supports me! If it weren't for the fact that Tigress would target ME if we lost today's challenge, I would TOTALLY take the opportunity to target HER! Oh, well! The best things in life ARE worth waiting for!" / Larry says: "I'll admit; I used to be a LOT like Tigress, thinking that winning was the only thing that mattered! But I learned something very important during my time as a contestant on Total Cartoon Action. It doesn't MATTER if you're the strongest, smartest, fastest, or toughest, what matters is that you are a friendly, sociable, nice person, who doesn't constantly antagonize everyone else just BECAUSE they can! If she doesn't learn that, she will never REALISTICALLY have a chance of winning this season!" (End Confessional)

All the contestants suit up into their team colors, and head towards the Moat, to hear about today's challenge! Marlene asks: "So, what is TODAY'S challenge going to be?" Keswick says: "Hopefully, something that will test my brains and intellect, because there hasn't been a challenge that has done THAT for me so far!" General Barracuda chuckles, and he says: "Well, than you might be in luck, when Olmec tells you what today's challenge will be!" Sniz says: "That's right! Olmec, tell us what today's legend is!" Olmec's says: "Today's legend, is the Legend of the Work Book of Sigmund Freud!" Treeflower says: "Finally! A REAL challenge!" Stimpy says: "IGNORE her!" Sniz says: "Noted, moving on. During Sigmund Freud's life-time, they successfully completed the Trans-Atlantic cable between the North American continent and the European continent, enabling instantaneous communication around the world for the very first time! To cross the Moat today, in teams of four, you will swing an unplugged cable between telegraph poles across the moat, making sure to hook it up between each pole. Once one team of four has crossed, the other team of four will cross in order to complete the circuit between both ends of each cable. Once both teams of four have finished crossing, they will ring their Gong pedestal, to signify that they have finished! And, since there are TECHNICALLY two new teams in play, Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars, that means we might see some team dynamics we haven't seen before! First, we will tell you who is competing first! Daggett, Blonda, Bulma, and Po will compete first for the Purple Parrots. Spongebob, Rube, Marlene, and Wally will compete first for the Green Monkeys. Tigress, Sandy, Buhdeuce, and Larry will compete first for the Red Jaguars. And Dog, Dudley, Chameleon, and Squidward will compete first for the Orange Iguanas! Everyone else will compete second! And, to get you into the mood for a simulated ocean crossing, we will play Blondie's Call Me, to get you into the mood!"

Squidward says: "Yeah, speaking of, why don't you ever CALL ME Spongebob, the way you USED to?!" Spongebob says: "You NEVER answered ME before, and you KNOW it!" Squidward says: "Just TELL me; why DON'T you want to talk to ME anymore?!" Spongebob says: "Honestly, there's nothing left to say. You ignored and SHOT down 431 of my attempts to become FRIENDS with you! Did you HONESTLY think that at SOME point, I WOULDN'T take it PERSONALLY? You MADE your choice, Squidward, and you now have to LIVE with it!" Squidward says: "All RIGHT!!!! You're...right! I was...LESS right! So stop giving me the COLD shoulder already!" Spongebob says: "Doesn't feel so GOOD, does it? Someone giving YOU the cold shoulder instead of the other way around?" Squidward says: "What ELSE do you want me to SAY?! Not having YOU annoy me, feels like a great, BIG empty VOID! PLEASE fill the void in my life!" Spongebob says: "I'll only consider it on ONE condition!" Squidward yells: "I WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE TO YOU!!!! You were ANNOYING THAN, you're annoying NOW!!!! You just TRADED the way that you're annoying to ME! If apologizing to you is the only way, than FORGET it! Have...FUN acting all 'Mature' and 'Grown-up!' See if I care!!!! I could personally care LESS if I NEVER saw you after this SEASON AGAIN!!!!" Spongebob says: "You know, the OLD me would've been really HURT by that statement! I probably would've cried for 20 minutes. But now? I feel...nothing. I thought you might feel the LEAST bit sorry for the way you USED to treat me. I might have changed, but you haven't changed, not at ALL! And I'm sorry if that's the way you honestly feel. But I'm not going back to my old ways for you. Those days are gone, forever!"

(Confessional) Squidward says: "Making him cry? That was my LAST DITCH attempt! I...have nothing! All my dreams have fallen...flat. Just like my clarinet playing. Spongebob was the whole definition of my life, who's going to define me NOW?! There's only one hope left! If I can't MAKE Spongebob ACT like the 'Old' Spongebob, I'll simply have to ACT like the 'Old' Spongebob! Let's see how HE likes it when HE'S the one being ANNOYED all the time! That will learn him!" / Bubble Bass says: "And once again, Squidward's knee-jerk reactions completely BLOW any chance he HAD of salvaging a relationship with Spongebob! It's no wonder Squidward had such trouble trying to create a musical masterpiece, if that's really the best idea HE can come up with!" / Spongebob says: "I thought if ANYONE would like me being mature and grown-up, it would be Squidward! I would be MORE than happy to be friends with Squidward, if he would JUST apologize to me! It's NOT like I'm asking him to perform Open HEART surgery! I would just like him to say 'I'm sorry' before becoming FRIENDS with him again! Is THAT too much to ask?!" (End Confessional) Rube sees his mother, and he says: "Hi, Mom! I wish you good luck in the competition today!" Blonda asks: "Why are you even BOTHERING to use magic on yourself anymore?! I know the truth!" Rube says: "Because I thought it would make YOU happy! I know how much appearances MEAN to you! And I thought that if I appeared good, you would respect me, the same way I respect you!" Blonda sincerely asks: "You...respect me?" Rube says: "Of course I do. You're my mother! Me being a technical nudist doesn't change my respect for you! I love you, and I always will! Nothing will EVER change that!"

(Confessional) Blonda sheds a single tear, and she says: "He...respects me. I've lived for countless millennia, and no one has EVER respected me the way that Bubble Bass and Rube do. I've spent so MUCH of my life, trying to win love the wrong way! And I...can't allow Bubble Bass and Rube to lose. Not now, not after all the mistakes I've made in my life. If anyone's going to atone for their mistakes, I'll be the one to do it. It's the only way to PROVE my eternal love, for my husband, and my son!" / Rube says: "My mother NEEDED to hear that from me! She needed to learn that TRUE love, comes from your own family, the ones who love HER the most! No amount of fan appreciation could EVER replicate that! And THAT knowledge? That will make her work be TRULY legendary, the way it was always MEANT to be!" (End Confessional) Po looks at Tigress, and he says: "Tigress, I just want to wish you good luck today!" Tigress merely grunts, and she says: "I don't need it! I don't know WHAT you were thinking of joining the Purple Parrots, and I DON'T care! I'm not going to slow down for THEIR team! Either keep up, or STAY out of MY way! I'm WINNING this season WITH, or without you! I'm NOT altering my plans for ANYONE, least of all, YOU!" Taotie says: "This may come as a SURPRISE, coming from a former foe of yours, but if WINNING is ALL you love, than that's PRECISELY what you'll receive!" Tigress says: "I PLAN to!"

(Confessional) Taotie says: "If I were in Po's position, I'd SERIOUSLY think about LEAVING Tigress right about now!" / Po says: "Everyone's got their reasons for doing stuff! What could be SO important about WINNING this season, that Tigress is willing to let everything else come SECOND towards her attempts to WIN?!" / Tigress says: "I HAVE to win this season; okay?! It's the ONE thing, that will FINALLY prove that I'm absolutely BETTER than my father! My father spent his entire life winning at things. And once I came along, he made absolutely sure to...WIN over me in EVERY competition we ever faced together! Eventually, I learned the only way I was EVER going to win MY father's love, was to not only win at everything HE ever won at, but to do it FASTER and BETTER! But the most important thing? Winning at something he NEVER won at because he never THOUGHT to enter it; a season of a game show such as this! If I win this whole season, I'll FINALLY have 1-up on my father FOREVER, I will FINALLY win his love, and I will FINALLY be happy! Because, if winning doesn't MAKE me happy, what WILL?!" (End Confessional) Dora finally appears, in a custom-tailored, bejeweled Purple Parrots swimming suit no less, and Bulma snarkily retorts: "Nice OUTFIT, Senorita! I didn't know it was fashion season in Cancun, already!" Dora says: "Laugh while you can; I'll have you know that I happen to be an EXPERT at swinging vines! The children must have helped me and Boots swing on vines like a 1,000 times!" Bulma says: "Yeah, maybe with CHILDREN'S help, but how often have you done it WITHOUT their help?!" Dora says: "I'd be more worried about Blonda! She's looking PRETTY distracted right about now!" Bulma says: "You know it makes absolutely NO difference to me WHICH order either of YOU two get eliminated! If I don't eliminate you THIS time, I'll simply eliminate you the next time! It's CALLED being flexible, you might want to TRY it sometimes!"

(Confessional) Dora says: "If SHE'S flexible, than I'm the Grumpy Old Troll Who Lives Under The Bridge!" / Bulma says: "Even if what Dora SAYS is true, Blonda is completely inconsequential to my plans anyways. Besides, Blonda leaving would HURT Dora more than it would hurt ME, because it would be one vote LESS against me!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, everybody is finally ready! Let's get this show international, if you know what I mean! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" / During the crossing montage, Dora turns out to be completely RIGHT about Blonda being distracted, as she keeps MISSING her swings, and falls into the water, while Po is trying very HARD to keep up with Tigress, but he can't, and he keeps falling into the water to! / Blondie (Debbie Harry) sings: "Colour me your colour, baby. Colour me your car. Colour me your colour, darling. I know who you are. Come up off your colour chart. I know where you're comin' from! Call me (call me), oh, call me! Call me, call me any, anytime! Call me (call me) my love! You can call me any day or night! Call me! Cover me with kisses, baby! Cover me with love! Roll me in designer sheets, I'll never get enough! Emotions come, I don't know why! Cover up love's alibi! Call me (call me), oh, call me! Call me, call me any, anytime! Call me (call me) oh, my love! When you're ready, we can share the wine! Call me! Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo, he speaks the languages of love. Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo, amore, chiamami, chiamami, come on! Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo, appelle-moi mon cherie, appelle-moi! Anytime, anyplace, anywhere, any way! Anytime, anyplace, anywhere, any day-ay! (Instrumental Break) Call me (call me), my love! Call me, call me any, anytime! Call me (call me) for a ride! Call me, call me for some overtime! Call me (call me), my love! Call me, call me in a sweet design! Call me (call me), call me, for your lover's, lover's alibi! Call me (call me) on the line! Call me, call me any, anytime! Call me (call me), oh, call me, oo-hoo-hah! Call me (call me), my love! Call me, call me any, anytime!" /

And the song and the montage ends as the Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars end up finishing first! Sniz says: "And it's over! The Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars will STILL be competing together! Hopefully, the Orange Iguanas and the Purple Parrots will fare better against them than the old teams of the Blue Barracudas and the Silver Snakes did!" Bulma screams: "What was THAT, Blonda?! That was NOT adequate swinging by MY standards, or ANYONE'S standards for that matter!" Blonda sighs, and she says: "I just, didn't want to embarrass Rube or Bubble Bass, or put THEM at risk for losing!" Taotie says: "Oh, so NOW you care about your family! How CONVENIENT! Why couldn't you care MORE about keeping the Silver Snakes SAFE, instead of your OWN personal beauty?!" Blonda says: "I have made MANY mistakes in my life, but throwing away the genuine love that Bubble Bass and Rube have for me, will NOT be one of them!" Dora says: "You're an even BIGGER fool than I thought; throwing away a chance at winning, just so your husband and your child can continue competing." Blonda nods, and she says: "Yeah, maybe it IS foolish! But I'd rather be a fool who is LOVED, than a fool who ISN'T!" And Bubble Bass gasps in shock! (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Blonda...has actually had a change of HEART?! She loves me and our son unconditionally! It's so wonderful! But, she needs to know that she doesn't HAVE to throw her game away to PROVE that love to us! I better talk to her the first chance I can get!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "We've got to get everyone dried off, but don't go away! Because we will come back to the Steps Of Knowledge, and see which teams get to take on the Temple Run! Don't miss it!" / (Commercial Break) /

The commercials end, and the contestants are beginning to gather at the Steps of Knowledge. Bubble Bass goes up to Blonda, and he says: "Honey, it's nice that you're thinking of us, in the way that you...didn't WANT to show us up." Blonda says: "Thank you!" Bubble Bass says: "But you got to understand something; you're my WIFE! You DON'T need to throw challenges for us, just to prove that you love us, and appreciate us for who we are!" Blonda says: "I'm very well aware of that; it's just that...prior to meeting YOU, Bubble Bass, I had never done a single, unselfish thing in my LONG life...that I can remember. And spending time with you, has unlocked feelings inside of me, that I never KNEW I could feel! For the first time in my life, I know what real LOVE feels like! It comes from YOU, and from my son! And what I'm doing? This is the first, unselfish thing I've ever done for anyone else, without expecting ANYTHING in return! You two have made me realize, that I don't want to go BACK to being the woman I used to be! I want to be a good wife and mother, who genuinely loves those who love her!" Bubble Bass sheds a single tear, and he says: "That...may be the sweetest thing I've EVER heard you say!"

(Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "This may be an unsurprising thing to hear, but I feel like I need to say it anyways. Love, can be a complicated emotion. When you're in love, and you want to prove your love to others, you sometimes do things that you wouldn't otherwise do. Now Rube? I don't want to tell him this, but if I'm being completely honest, there was at LEAST a little bit of selfishness on both of our parts, because we both wanted a child together, in case my attempt at winning Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back didn't pan out. But what I didn't expect, was that I would learn more about empathy and friendship than I ever thought possible. Now, I know what it truly means to be a good guy. And Blonda? She's starting to learn the same thing. And it would be SELFISH of me to want to stop her from learning that. I think she NEEDS to do this, and if this is how she becomes a better wife and mother, than it's my duty to support her, whatever that entails!" / Blonda says: "Before meeting Bubble Bass and having Rube, I think that the reason that I never won the amount of Zappy's that I THOUGHT I should've won, was because when I was acting, I was just going through the motions. I didn't really know how to love, empathize, care, or generally feel for anyone but myself. I initially got together with Bubble Bass just for the thrill and novelty of it. But over time? After seeing how he developed on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, I actually fell in love with him for real. And I realize that I don't want to lose his or my SON'S love for anything! I know my husband already KNOWS that I love him, but I've GOT to do one unselfish thing first, to prove that I'm no longer the vain, old Blonda that I used to be!" (End Confessional)

Squidward looks at Spongebob, and Squidward groans to himself as he says: "Oh, this is SO going to be OUT of my total self-dignity and appreciation for myself! But it's the ONLY way to get Spongebob BACK!" Squidward clears his voice, and doing the best Spongebob impression he can, he says: "I'm READY!!!! Look at me, I live in a pineapple under the sea, blowing bubbles and catching jellyfish because I don't have a care in the world!" Sandy says: "Who says that Spongebob NEVER had a care in the world, even BEFORE he got mature?!" Squidward doesn't hear her, and he continues: "I must have asked Squidward at least 431 POINTLESS questions at work, but I STILL never LEARNED anything from Squidward's answers!" Spongebob says: "I did SO! I learned from YOUR misleading answers, on how to NOT be a bad worker, and actually take a little PRIDE in my work, unlike YOU!" Squidward acts like he DIDN'T hear Spongebob, and Squidward says: "I constantly invite my friends Patrick, Sandy, and sometimes Larry and Bubble Bass over even though I'm NOT supposed to be socializing on the job, and talking without EVER shutting--!" Larry yells: "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!!" And Squidward immediately stops cold! Larry says: "You can feel free to mock Spongebob if you want, but you BETTER leave us OUT of it! You have no RIGHT to criticize Spongebob, for all the times HE'S won Employee of the Month! Spongebob's won Employee of the Month at LEAST 26 times! How many times have YOU won? Oh, THAT'S right! You only won ONCE, and THAT was only out of PITY on Mr. Krab's part!"

Squidward says: "For your information, I was NOT mocking Spongebob! If Spongebob's going to be 'Mature', I'm going to be a selfish BRAT, by caring ONLY about my OWN insipid needs, and nobody else's!" Spongebob says: "My needs were NOT insipid! Even before Sandy and my kids, I have a pet! And with a FEW exceptions, I always put HIS needs before my own! What did YOU do with Snellie? Oh, that's right! You thought I didn't remember! You got RID of her the MOMENT she started getting friendly with Gary, JUST because you couldn't STAND the thought of Snellie having snail kids that caught my 'Stupid'!" Bubble Bass says: "And F.Y.I., acting like Spongebob used to act isn't going to WANT to make Spongebob act that way; it just makes YOU look like a bigger jerk than we already THOUGHT you were!" Pearl says: "Exactly! I don't know WHAT my dad sees in you, but GROW up! This is NOT how you resolve your anger issues!" Squidward yells: "Anger? ANGER?!!! You WANT anger, I'll SHOW you anger on MY clarinet!!!!" And Squidward reaches into his shirt, but he can't FIND his clarinet! Squidward says: "My clarinet! MY CLARINET!!!! Where in the world is MY clarinet?! Which one of YOU took IT?!!!" Sandy sternly says: "Hold it! That's going TOO far! It's one thing to MOCK us! But to accuse us without ANY proof? That's where I draw the LINE!!!!" Tigress comes up, and she asks: "You want me to just beat him up for you?" Sandy SERIOUSLY says: "It MIGHT be a possibility!" And they don't notice that Dora is snickering with glee!

(Confessional) Dora says: "After ALL those years of watching Swiper the Fox swipe stuff, you learn a thing or two from him! First off, you need to do the swiping SO fast, no one has a CHANCE to tell you not to swipe! Second, you HIDE what you've swiped, somewhere they will NEVER look! And if they DO look somewhere, make sure it's in someone ELSE'S trailer!" Dora sings: "Blonda is going to leave, because Squidward's clarinet is in her trailer! LOSER!!!!" / Squidward says: "You have NO idea how LONG I wanted to THROW Spongebob's OWN attitude back at him, but what GOOD is it if he doesn't ACT annoying? And now, I've lost my clarinet! I'm getting WOOZY! I'm FADING!!!!" Squidward doesn't notice Bulma sticking her head into the Confessional, and Squidward says: "I don't know what's HAPPENING to me! Oh, if SOMEONE found my clarinet, I'd do ANYTHING, even FORGIVE Spongebob!" And Bulma quickly yanks her head OUT of the Confessional before Squidward can see her! / Bulma says: "I KNEW this season was going to get GOOD! I can practically TASTE the popcorn already!" / Larry says: "I can't believe I once SERIOUSLY thought about being friends with Squidward!" / Spongebob says: "I don't pretend to have acted completely perfect in my life. I've made my share of mistakes, but I always own UP to them! And acting mature? That was SUPPOSED to be my way of apologizing to Squidward! Does he really feel THAT threatened by MY level of maturity? As if it would be a reflection on how sub-par he's acted at work or something? I have NEVER felt SO insulted by Squidward, since the time he made fun of me for loving my Grandma! I bet HE wishes HIS Grandma loved him like THAT!" / Tigress says: "Personally, I've been looking for an excuse to HIT something, with Po now in the Purple Parrots for whatever stupid reason he has! But quite frankly, Squidward wouldn't last ten seconds against me! MAYBE if I tied one hand behind my back, it MIGHT make things more interesting...for ME!!!!" (End Confessional)

Sniz finally arrives, and he says: "Okay, everybody, I'm HERE!" He sees Squidward SPRAWLED on the floor, and Sniz yells: "What's going on HERE?!!!" Squidward woozily says: "Woah, is me, I'm DYING!!!! My race is run! How could I LOSE my clarinet?! I've got to get my clarinet BACK!!!!" And Squidward passes out from dizziness! Dog says: "You know? I don't think he's faking it!" Zarbon says: "And quite frankly, why WOULD you? It's not at ALL pretty!" Squidward woozily says: "You see? I can't even stay standing up! Please! I'm BEGGING for somebody to help me! I've GOT to get my clarinet BACK! Maybe if someone could help me find my clarinet, I'd even apologize to Spongebob!" Sandy scoffs, and she says: "Like you'd MEAN it!" Harvey says: "Come on! How would YOU feel, if YOU lost something important that you love? I mean, I don't know what I would do if I thought Fee was lost, or WORSE! I'd do whatever I could to try to help her!" Fee lovingly says: "That's the sweetest thing I've EVER heard you say!" Harvey says: "The sweetest thing you've ever heard me say so FAR! It's too bad we're only twelve. We have to wait for about four more years before we can really start dating." Daggett says: "I wish I was that smart at YOUR age! Of course, I wish I actually HAD someone who cared for me back than, to!" General Barracuda groans, and asks: "Is this going to be a WHOLE thing?! I thought we were OVER stupid antics, like preempting a Steps Of Knowledge challenge, JUST because someone decided to have an EPISODE!" And Johnny Krill plays a rim-shot! General Barracuda asks: "What was THAT?!!!" Johnny says: "A little meta humor! I DO that!" General Barracuda says: "Sniz doesn't pay EXTRA for meta humor! Now, go get dressed and pick a Temple Room to guard!" Johnny sighs, and says: "Yes, sir!" (Confessional) Johnny sighs, and says: "Nobody appreciates good meta humor anymore!" / Harvey says: "No one, not even Squidward deserves to lose something he loves! And if I didn't stand up for him, I don't know who would!" / Fee says: "That's the weird thing about age; it's never fast when you WANT it to be, and it's also never SLOW when you want it to be! Maybe THAT'S what people mean with the phrase 'Six of one, half a dozen of the other'!" (End Confessional)

Sniz groans, and he says: "Okay, change of plans! Whoever finds Squidward's clarinet, barring the Green Monkeys, will receive an Immunity Pendant of Life!" Tigress' eyes light up, and she says: "An Immunity Pendant of Life?! I'm ON it!!!!" And before ANYONE really has a CHANCE to blink, Tigress quickly zooms into Daggett's trailer, Treeflower's room, Otto's room, and than Blonda's trailer, and she says: "A-HA!!!! Just as I suspected!" Tigress walks out looking smug, and she asks: "Blonda, care to explain what SQUIDWARD'S clainet was doing in YOUR trailer?!" Squidward yells: "UGH!!!!" And Squidward grabs his clarinet, and he says: "Oh, Clarie! I'm never going to let you go again, never, never, NEVER!!!!" Sandy clears her throat, and Squidward looks at the very stern expressions of Spongebob and his friends, and Squidward sheepishly says: "So, sorry about the whole, 'Accusatory' thing! I guess...none of you took my clarinet after all!" But their expressions don't change ONE iota! Squidward FINALLY drops down in despair, and he says: "Do you REALLY want to HEAR me SAY IT?!!! Cause I'll SAY IT!!!! I'll say it from the deepest, DARKEST, BLACKEST part of my SOUL!!!! I'm...SORRY!!!!" Spongebob says: "I'm not BUYING it!" Squidward sighs, and he says: "I don't blame you. All the times I've treated you badly, shunned you, ignored you, and blamed you for every time something bad happened to me, even when I KNEW it clearly WASN'T your fault! I can't tell you why or how it happened; but somehow, having you in my life, makes me want to push myself in creative ways that I never would've done otherwise. The passion you have in your work? I've almost never been able to have a passion for the Krusty Krab. But expressing myself through art and music? That's what I've always wanted to do. And...I never would've imagined, that the thing I thought I would need OUT of my life in order to achieve such greatness, would be the one thing I NEEDED to inspire me! I didn't realize what I had, until I didn't have it anymore! And, even if you don't want to act annoying anymore, I still want you back as a friend. That is, if you still WANT to take me back!"

Spongebob sighs and says: "Squidward, at LAST!!!! Why did you wait so long? Hearing you apologize to me and mean it? That's all I really wanted! And Squidward? Anytime I annoyed you? That was NEVER personal! I only acted the way I acted, because the writers wanted me to. I had no idea it affected you on such a personal level. But it doesn't NEED to! And I just want you to know, if there ever comes a time on any show I appear in, where I act in a way that annoys you; just remember that I'm only acting it as part of a written sequence, and it has no bearing on how I really feel about you." Squidward asks: "You mean, you respect and admire my work?" Spongebob says: "Of course I have. I always have! And if I only knew that you were just waiting for me to tell you that, I would've told you a long time ago! Squidward? I know I could NEVER fill the void you feel, because your father never loved you the way you wanted to. But maybe; once we get back to Bikini Bottom, when we're not doing any of our shows, maybe we can finally give the art and music you make, the love it deserves." Squidward sheds a single tear, and he says: "Thanks, Spongebob. I'd really like that!" Tigress says: "Okay, long story short; I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream! Everybody LOVES everybody! Now, how about my Immunity Pendant for finding his clarinet?!" General Barracuda says: "But of course. As promised, here is your Red Jaguars Immunity Pendant!" Buhdeuce groans, and he says: "Oh, GREAT! Another Elimination Ceremony where SHE will get to call the shots! Why does Tigress ALWAYS insist on being 'That ONE Boss'?!" Tigress says: "Hey! I paid the COST to be the boss!"

Chameleon says: "That is LITERALLY not the kind of boss that Buhdeuce meant!" Tigress asks: "There are others? Bring them on! I could teach them a thing about being a boss!" (Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "Someone's got to teach Tigress a thing about video games...as long as it isn't me! I can't STAND seeing HER as a sore loser; not that her WINNING is that much better, it's just more preferable to getting pummeled!" / Daggett says: "Someone, has GOT to teach me how to move just as HALF as fast as Tigress does!" / Treeflower says: "I better NOT find anything out of place in MY room, because Tigress or NO Tigress, I'd NEVER forgive her!" / Otto says: "Tigress checks out MY room because she suspects ME of stealing something? I would NEVER stoop to common thievery, the way SOME people might! It's clear to me where Tigress' biggest weakness is; the SOCIAL game! Because if she REALLY knew me, she wouldn't have suspected ME at ALL!" / Spongebob says: "If I TOLD Squidward from the START that all he had to DO was apologize to me, I'm not sure if he would've done it; let alone, done it as heartfelt and genuine as he did. But, he has shown that he really DOES care and respect me. And, I never realized that I ever, unintentionally, made him feel insecure about his own worth. I NEVER meant to do that! So, once we get back to Bikini Bottom, when we're not doing one of our shows, I'm going to make sure Squidward's art and music gets the respect it deserves!" / Tigress says: "You know; as much as I HATE to admit it, I actually felt kind of NICE doing something for someone else! Maybe I should do it more OFTEN!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Okay, Squidward has his clarinet, which leaves one loose end to tie up!" Blonda sputters, and she says: "WHAT?! You think I STOLE it?!" Marlene sarcastically says: "Oh, SURE!!!! Squidward's clarinet just HAPPENS to go MISSING, and it MAGICALLY appears in YOUR trailer!" Blonda asks: "Are you calling ME a LIAR?!!!" Dora says: "Well, if the sombrero FITS...!" Blonda angrily says: "SAY THAT AGAIN!!!!" Dora slowly says: "IF the som-brer-O; FITS!!!!"

Blonda seriously says: "You have been ASKING for this for a long, LONG time--!" Dora screams: "SHE broke my left arm! She broke my left ARM!!!! The BAD fairy lady BROKE my left arm!" Blonda scoffs and she says: "COME ON!! I didn't even TOUCH her!!!! Scan her! Her arm is so NOT broken!!!!" Realizing her PLOT might be uncovered, Dora PURPOSELY throws herself down the Steps of Knowledge, and purposely FALLS on her left arm! Dora cries: "Oh, look what the BAD fairy lady made me DO!!!!" Blonda says: "I did NOT enchant her! You KNOW I'm not allowed to use magic as a contestant!" Dora cries: "I think I can carry on, if I had a luxurious trailer and special care, the way Blonda has!" Blonda says: "I do NOT have special treatment! You're not BUYING this act that Dora is pulling?!" Bulma says: "I'm not, but I don't care! Better YOU than me!" Blonda scornfully says: "That's right! ENJOY yourself! It's LATER than you think! Dora will come after YOU next!" Bulma says: "Already PLANNING on it, and there is NO scenario she can pull on ME!" Blonda says: "Maybe so, but there is no WAY she will make your victory on easy one!" Bulma says: "Of COURSE she won't! But, like Tigress said; 'No challenge equals no satisfaction'! Her challenges are physical, mine are mental!" Rube says: "Mom, I KNOW you didn't steal Squidward's clarinet!" Stimpy says: "Yeah, but could you prove it?" Rube says: "Not at the moment! But given enough time, I could!" Sniz says: "Yeah, but time is NOT on Blonda's side! Blonda, for stealing Squidward's clarinet AND causing Dora's left arm to be BROKEN, you will receive FOUR Penalty Votes at tonight's Elimination Ceremony!" Blonda says: "Hold up! I've done bad things in the past, but I REFUSE to be punished for a crime I DIDN'T commit! There's no need to BOTHER performing an Elimination Ceremony for the Purple Parrots tonight; I QUIT!!!!" Bubble Bass asks: "Honey, you're not serious? What's going to happen to our INFANT Rube? How am I supposed to take care of him without your help?"

Blonda sincerely says: "Bubble Bass, I know you can do it! I've prepared instructions on how to take care of our infant Rube in case something like this ever happened to me. I always figured that I would get taken out of the game eventually, I just hoped it would be under better circumstances. You know I wish I didn't have to leave the game this way, but if this is what I must do, in order to do something unselfish, and prove my innocence, than so be it." Rube asks: "Mom, are you going to be all right?" Blonda says: "I know I'll be all right; as long as I have you and Bubble Bass to care for, everything will be all right in the end. I'll be waiting at the Mine Cart of Shame for tonight's other loser." And Blonda heads toward the Elimination Ceremony stage. General Barracuda says: "Well, that's just GREAT! How are we SUPPOSED to do the Steps of Knowledge OR a challenge with only THREE teams?! Sniz says: "We'll just have to go to Plan B; tie-breaker question! Whichever team answers the question, will receive immunity WITH the Red Jaguars! General Barracuda, have you got the Tie-Breaker pedestal ready?!" General Barracuda brings in the Tie-Breaker pedestal gongs, and he says: "Never leave home without it!" Sniz says: "All right! I'm going to ask a question! Whichever team rings in correctly, and answers first, gets immunity with the Red Jaguars! Here is the question! True or False; when Sigmund Freud first began his practice, he would use Hypnosis as a way to get people to open up to him?" Rube rings in first, and he says: "True, of course!" Sniz says: "That is correct! That means the Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars are going to the Temple! Orange Iguanas, your fate will be decided soon enough! Now, it's time to figure out--." Tigress says: "I'm RUNNING!!!!" General Barracuda rolls his eyes and says: "Okay. Could you at LEAST wait to hear where the Work Book of Sigmund Freud is?" Tigress groans, and she says: "FINE!!"

Olmec says: "The Work Book of Sigmund Freud can be found in the Dark Forest!" Sniz says: "Now, knowing that, could you PLEASE do a Temple Run the way it's SUPPOSED to be done?" Tigress blows on her claws, and she says: "No promises! And I don't care HOW much magic you've used on the Temple doors, I can STILL just break through them!" Sniz whispers to General Barracuda, and Sniz asks: "She can't break through DOUBLE magic reinforced doors, CAN she?!" General Barracuda says: "She MIGHT!!!! If anyone COULD do it, she MIGHT!" Sniz says: "Well, let's TRY it anyways! I'll ASSUME the Temple Guards are guarding ROOMS where she will run into!" Johnny says: "If Snaptrap and Kaput want to try their luck, they can HAVE at it! I'm guarding the Tomb of the Pharaoh's, where Tigress WON'T run into or bother me!" Tigress says: "It's nice to know that ONE Temple Guard has some BRAINS, and it's not even who I THOUGHT it would BE!!!!" Sniz says: "Well, in any case, we'll put three minutes on the clock, though I DOUBT we'll hardly NEED all of them! On your mark, get set, GO!!!!" Tigress runs into the Mummy's Crypt, where both Snaptrap AND Kaput jump out to try to grab her, but they don't fare much better than an ordinary Temple Guard, as Tigress is able to knock them out in just 30 seconds! And Tigress STILL just BREAKS through the DOUBLE magic reinforced doors, and runs her way across the Temple, down the Mine Shaft, through the stone wall, and GRABS the Work Book of Sigmund Freud! She passes through the Tomb of the Pharaoh's, BARELY hearing Johnny say: "Thank you for not beating ME up!" Than she runs through the rest of the Temple, and OUT through the Temple entrance, in just 1 minute, and 30 seconds! Sniz says: "WOW!!!! A new RECORD?! And for three Temple Runs STRAIGHT?!!! WOW! We HAVE been HAD!!!! Tigress, I have no idea how, but you're CLEARLY a pro, and pro's AREN'T allowed to compete in Temple Runs! WANDA!!!!" Wanda appears, and she asks: "You yelled?"

Sniz whispers something inaudible into Wanda's ears. Wanda nods, and she says: "Can do!" And Wanda poofs up a VERY official, golden award! Sniz says: "Here, take this official, certified, award saying that you are now and forever, the FASTEST athlete to EVER complete a Temple Run, and NEVER compete in a Temple Run again!" Tigress says: "I won an AWARD?! An AWARD my father NEVER won?!!! I DID IT!!!! I did it, I did it, I did it, and I DID IT!!!! I FINALLY have 1-up on my father FOREVER!!!!" She holds the trophy up high, but nothing else happens! Tigress says: "Why isn't anyone congratulating me? Why isn't this bringing me love? Why do I NOT feel HAPPY?!!!" Sniz groans and he says: "Oh, boy! If it's not ONE contestant having an episode, it's another! Maybe now that Tigress can't do another Temple Run, maybe the NORMAL Temple Guards will come back! General Barracuda, see if you can't deal with Tigress' problem. I have an Elimination Ceremony to attend to." (Confessional) Tigress looks at the trophy she just won, and she says: "I don't understand. This trophy is the culmination of everything I've been working towards. I thought that once I finally surpassed my father in everything, it would finally bring me happiness and love. So, why don't I FEEL more happy?!" She gasps, and she says: "PO!!!!" Than Tigress actually breaks down, and cries! Tigress says: "Po KNEW!!!! Po knew all along! He told me to STOP, he warned me to stop! But I just NEVER listened! I 'KNEW' better! So I just kept pushing forward like a STUPID child! I'll NEVER forgive myself for the foolish way I've acted!" (End Confessional) Tigress knocks on Po's trailer door, and she says: "Po; Po? Are you there?" Taotie says: "Nobody's home, Tigress! You're a day late, and a dollar short!"

Tigress says: "I'm not even in the MOOD for you! Po, I got an award my father never won. I finally surpassed him. But...the award isn't as shiny as I thought it would be." But Po doesn't answer the door, and Tigress can see him sitting on a couch, just staring at the wall. Tigress says: "Po, I'm sorry for the way I treated you; I just wanted to apologize." Po still doesn't look towards Tigress, and Tigress sighs, and says: "Okay; you don't HAVE to look at me! But at least, hear me out. You see, all my life, I thought that if I just won and excelled at everything my father did, and did better at everything that he did, it would fill me with the happiness and love he never expressed to me while I was growing up. But, it never occurred to me that all this time, I was missing on something far more important. Your love and affection, and for loving me, with or without some stupid trophies. You loved me, and I...was so consumed by the need to win my father's love, that I didn't realize the love I was throwing away. And now? Now that I've finally exceeded my father, the truth is finally clear to me. No amount of trophies or awards will ever fill that void, and I was foolish to think it ever would! I'm sorry!" Po audibly sniffles, and he says: "And you YELLED at ME!" Tigress sincerely says: "I'm sorry, again!" Po finally turns around, and he opens the door, and hugs Tigress! Po asks: "Why didn't you just TELL me that you were trying to fill a void in your heart?!" Tigress says: "I...didn't want you to think less of me. I wanted to tell you, I should've! But...I don't know! I just felt SO ashamed of myself!" Po says: "Tigress, it doesn't matter! Sometimes, we go through some stuff, and we...sometimes aren't able to talk about it. I know how THAT feels! You wonder why I have never left your side? It's because, I always knew you'd find your own way to real love. No one else could have done it for you. It...wasn't easy, but you've finally learned what's really important in your life." Tigress says: "I guess...I must have had my eyes shut pretty tight, to not realize what was right in front of me this whole time." Po says: "It doesn't matter. You're here now, and that's all I care about."

Tigress asks: "Do you still...want to start a family with me?" Po says: "I thought you would NEVER ask!" They enter into Po's trailer, turn off all the lights, and close-ups of only their faces can be seen during a romantic montage set to Eric Carmen's "Hungry Eyes!" / Eric Carmen sings: "I've been meaning to tell you, I've got this feelin' that won't subside. I look at you and I fantasize, you're mine tonight. Now I've got you in my sights with these hungry eyes! One look at you and I can't disguise! I've got hungry eyes! I feel the magic between you and I! I wanna hold you so hear me out! I wanna show you what love's all about! Darlin', tonight! Now I've got you in my sights! With these hungry eyes! One look at you and I can't disguise! I've got hungry eyes! I feel the magic between you and I! Now, I've got you in my sights with these hungry eyes! Now did I take you by surprise?! I need you to see! That this love was meant to be! (Instrumental Break) I need hungry eyes! One look at you and I can't disguise! I've got hungry eyes! I feel the magic between you and I! Now I've got you in my sights, with these hungry eyes! Now did i take you by surprise?! I need you to see this love was meant to be! I got Hungry Eyes!" / And the epic song ends! /

(Confessional) Tigress says: "I never thought love with Po could EVER get better, but it actually did. Because for once, it had REAL meaning to it!" / Po says: "I always knew Tigress would find the right way, and that all it would take, was the right kind of guy who could be there for her. And I'm glad, I was able to be that man!" (End Confessional) The Purple Parrots and the Orange Iguanas are at the Elimination Ceremony. Blonda is already wearing a helmet, and strapped in, waiting for someone to join her. Sniz says: "Okay, today's game was a little...unusual to say the least. But nevertheless, we are here. And, it's time to pick a LOSER! That's right, ONE loser, to join Blonda in the Mine Cart of Shame! So, this time, you can only vote for someone IN the Orange Iguanas to join Blonda! So, pick a loser, and VOTE!" Surprisingly, everyone makes a quick choice as to who they want to vote off! Sniz says: "Now than, it's time to reveal who will be safe to play for another game. Daggett! Dog, Kitty, Harvey, Taotie, Po! Dudley, Zarbon, Bulma! Chameleon, Fee, Bubble Bass, Yakety Yak!" And it gets down to Squidward and Dora! Dora asks: "Okay, how and WHY is it DOWN to just ME and HIM?! Did Bulma HACK the voting machines?!" Sniz says: "It's called, 'Building suspense!' Something you APPARENTLY know NOTHING about!" Dora groans and she says: "Oh, just give me the last Chocolate Pendant of Life, already!" Sniz groans, and he says: "Fine! Dora!" Squidward says: "I...don't understand! I forgave SPONGEBOB!!!! I forgave his friends! I thought that meant everything was COOL now!" Dog says: "Squidward, you LITERALLY only forgave Spongebob after you EXHAUSTED every other option! Who's to say you won't make a strategic mistake like THAT again?!"

Taotie says: "Exactly! No offense, but we can't exactly spend our time worrying about if you're going to develop another neurosis! We've got to game to focus on, and we can do it a lot better without you!" Bulma says: "Just REMEMBER Squidward, always follow the MAP of your heart, and you will NEVER be led astray again!" Squidward sheds a single tear, and he says: "Thank you, Bulma. I know YOU will find the MAP to the TRUTH!" And Dora is MIFFED at the way those two talked to each other! Sniz says: "Squidward, the teams have spoken! Time to put on your helmet, and join Blonda!" Squidward does put on a helmet, and straps himself into the mine cart with Blonda! Blonda says: "So, Dora eliminated YOU to?" Squidward says: "If Bulma's cryptic HINT was any indication, than most likely!" Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Than 3, 2, 1, BLAST OFF!!!!" And Blonda and Squidward rocket down the Mine Tracks, and through the Mine Shaft of Losers! Sniz says: "And just like that, two more losers are out of here! Now, we are down to 30 contestants! It's still anyone's game, and the competition is only going to get tougher from here! Will Dora be able to recover from her injury? Will Bulma figure out the truth about Squidward's clarinet theft? And has Tigress really turned over a new leaf? Find out the answers to these questions and more, on the next episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "It is worth the analysis!" /

Stinger: Blonda and Squidward exit out of the portal, and find themselves at a water themed amusement park! Blonda asks: "Why did we wind up here?" Squidward says: "You sound as though you know where 'Here', is!" Blonda says: "Well, it's definitely a Sea World! I know THAT much for sure!" Craig Mammalton unexpectedly shows up, and he says: "Squidward! You're HERE?! What perfect TIMING!!!!" Squidward asks: "Why? Why is it perfect?" Craig says: "Well, animal rights activists have unfortunately forced the Sea World of Vallejo, California, to give up their Shamu back to the wild, so we're down a closing act for the nightly ceremonies. Squidward, your clarinet playing may be mundane in Bikini Bottom. But up here? The people would adore you and go NUTS over it! You HAVE to be the new closing act!" Blonda gets an idea, and she says: "You'll need a manager to keep all your finances, and public engagements straight! I have PLENTY of experience! With my brains, and your talent, we can EASILY become multi-millionaires by the end of the next fiscal quarter!" Squidward dreamily says: "You mean, I can FINALLY become famous and well-loved?!" Blonda says: "With my help, you'll be an international superstar!" Squidward dreamily says: "Dreams DO come TRUE!!!!" /

Episode Notes: Squidward FINALLY apologizes to Spongebob and his friends for the way he's behaved to them in the past, while Tigress FINALLY apologizes to Po for the way SHE has behaved in the past! Featured songs in this episode; The B-52's "Communicate", Blondie's "Call Me", and Eric Carmen's "Hungry Eyes". Blonda quits in this episode (mostly due to being in an unwinnable situation with Dora), and Squidward is eliminated, making him the first NEW contestant to be eliminated this season! Eliminated Contestants: 46. Kowalski. 45. Private. 44. Kaput. 43. Johnny Krill. 42. Haggis McHaggis. 41. Monster Krumholtz. 40. Aang. 39. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 38. Darwin. 37. Heffer Wolfe. 36. Judy Funny. 35. Sway-Sway. 34. Invader Zim. 33. Gonard. 32. Blonda. 31. Squidward Tentacles. Remaining Contestants: Daggett Beaver, Purple Parrots. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Orange Iguanas. Kitty Katswell, Purple Parrots. Harvey Beaks, Orange Iguanas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Taotie, Purple Parrots. Tigress, Red Jaguars. Po, Purple Parrots. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Orange Iguanas. Zarbon, Orange Iguanas. Bulma Briefs, Purple Parrots. Chameleon, Orange Iguanas. Fee, Orange Iguanas. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Orange Iguanas. Yakety Yak, Purple Parrots. Dora the Explorer, Purple Parrots. (Future Adult) Rube Goldfish, Green Monkeys. /

Personal Notes: With Squidward's elimination, we have now eliminated about one third of the contestants for this season. This season was a chance to explore the dynamic between Spongebob and Squidward, and discover the ulterior truths to why Spongebob and Squidward behaved in the way they did with each other. Furthermore, this season was to explore what would happen, if Spongebob finally became mature, and how Squidward would react to their previously established character dynamic with each other, was thrown out of whack? Squidward's personal arc this season, was to realize that he CAN'T always blame others, mostly Spongebob, for things that happen to Squidward that aren't even their fault. He needs to take responsibility for his own mistakes, and learn from them. Of course, Spongebob needed to learn a bit to, that all Squidward wanted was a little love and affection, and that Spongebob, even if it was unintentionally, made Squidward feel less love and affection than he should have received, and Spongebob's job was to mend that relationship. Meanwhile, Blonda's character arc this season, was of a "Defrosting Ice Queen", gradually, losing the traits that made her cold and unreachable, to becoming a woman who genuinely loves others, and will put herself on the line, in order to prove her innocence to others. Once Blonda and Squidward finally achieved their character arc development, there was sadly nothing left for them in this game, which is why they got the shaft this time! You'll just have to see what happens NEXT time! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

This is another long episode I'm re-running, so I'll just get right into it; enjoy! / Sniz is standing on the Steps Of Knowledge, and he says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Legends, things got a little...weird, to say the least. When Blonda finally realized that her son and husband truly loved and respected her no matter what, she decided the best way to prove her love to them, was to do something unselfish on her behalf. Little did she realize, that Dora was about to give Blonda the perfect opportunity to do so. Realizing that Squidward Tentacles was just a few drops short of being COMPLETELY crazy, Dora decided to push Squidward COMPLETELY overboard, when she STOLE Squidward's clarinet, and framed Blonda for it! Very sneaky, Dora! Tigress found, Squidward's clarinet, earning herself ANOTHER Immunity Pendant of Life! When Squidward got his clarinet back, he FINALLY apologized to Spongebob and his friends, for the way Squidward treated Spongebob in the past. And Blonda? She got the blame DIRECTLY from Dora herself, and Dora even BROKE her own arm, just to frame Blonda for enchanting her! Talk about 'Skewed Priorities'! Not wanting to take the blame for a crime she didn't commit, Blonda decided to quit the competition, rather than be eliminated by the lying Dora! Tigress won a Temple Run for the third and FINAL time, as we discovered she was WAY too good to qualify for anymore Temple Runs! It was only than, that Tigress realized, how empty winning trophies were, compared to the genuine love of Po! Man, did their love suddenly get SPICY!!!! Meanwhile, Squidward wasn't as lucky as Blonda. Because while Spongebob and his friends forgave Squidward, the Orange Iguanas and Purple Parrots weren't so forgiving, and eliminated Squidward, out of the game with Blonda. Now we are down to 30 contestants. And while it's anyone's guess as to which two contestants will be eliminated next, some questions remain. Will Dora have to answer for framing Blonda, and stealing Squidward's clarinet? Can Bubble Bass care for the infant Rube Goldberg all by himself? And will anyone be able to take Tigress' place as our new top competitor? These questions and more, will be answered, on today's episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "It's going to be WILD!!!!" /

Instead of the normal show open, it shows Buhdeuce having a dream, as a Wild West hero, emerging from a building called "The Escape Club", to participate at the showdown at the O.K. Corral on October 26, 1881, in Tombstone in modern day Arizona; and he dreams of many fellow remaining contestants (sans Taotie, Tigress, Zarbon, and Bulma), teaming up to take down Tigress, all to tune of The Escape Club's hit song, "Wild, Wild West"! /

The Escape Club sings: "Forty seven dead beats living in the back street; north, east, west, south, all in the same house! Sitting in a back room, waiting for the big boom! I'm in a bedroom, waiting for my baby! She's so mean, but I don't care! I love her eyes and her wild, wild hair! Dance to the beat that we love best! Heading for the nineties, living in the wild, wild west! The wild, wild west (wild west)! Well, Mandy's in the backroom, handing out Valium! Sheriff's on the airwaves, talking to the D.J.'s! 47 heartbeats beating like a drum! Got to live it up, live it up, Ronnie's got a new gun! She's so mean, but I don't care! I love her eyes and her wild, wild hair! Dance to the beat that we love best! Heading for the nineties, living in the wild, wild west! The wild, wild west (wild west)! Yeow! Now put your flags in the air and march them up and down! You can live it up, live it up all over the town! And turn to the left, turn to the right! I don't care as long as she comes tonight! She's so mean, but I don't care! I love her eyes and her wild, wild hair! Dance to the beat that we love best! Heading for the nineties, living in the wild, wild west! The wild, wild west! The wild, wild west (wild west)! Yeow, wild west! Brrrr, here come a musical disc, 'cause some people them a-keep waitin' for; this one's called the outlaw, wow! They want me ride the rhythm like me ridin' a bike. Shine on me, murder me chatter when me chat on the mic. Shorties thought this could keep them rockin' 'til the broad daylight! And here comes the Escape Club to rock it all night, say! (Instrumental Break) Live it up, live it up! Live it up, live it up! Living in the wild, wild west! The wild, wild west! The wild, wild west! The wild, wild west! (Wild west)! Heading for the nineties, living in the eighties, screaming in a back room, waiting for the big boom! Give me, give me wild west, give me, give me safe sex! Give me love, give me love, give me time to live it up! Now put your flags in the air and march them up and down! You can live it up, live it up all over the town! And turn to the left, turn to the right! I don't care as long as she comes tonight! She's so mean, but I don't care! I love her eyes and her wild, wild hair! Dance to the beat that we like best! Heading for the nineties, living in the wild, wild west! The wild, wild west! The wild, wild west; (wild west)! Yeow, wild west!" / And the music, and dream sequence ends as Buhdeuce successfully captures Tigress in his dream! /

"Legend Of The Lasso Of Wyatt Earp!" / It is still night-time, and Rube leaves his hotel room, and goes to Bulma's trailer. Rube knocks on the door, and Bulma opens it only a crack. Bulma asks: "What's the password?" Rube says: "Swiper, no swiping!" Yakety says: "He qualifies!" And Rube is let into the trailer with Bulma and Yakety. Bulma asks: "May I ask WHY you wanted to see me?" Rube says: "It's simple, Bulma. You are perhaps the SMARTEST contestant who has EVER competed on this show!" Bulma says: "I don't know if I WOULD say that...oh; who am I kidding?! Of course I would!" Rube says: "Anyways, being the smartest, surely you must have realized that my mother would have NEVER stolen Squidward's clarinet!" Bulma says: "Of course I know that, but what's your point?" Rube says: "Right! My point being, is that SURELY you must know of a way to PROVE Blonda's innocence, and clear her name!" Bulma says: "First off, Blonda's elimination doesn't concern me in the slightest. Secondly, why would I have ANY interest in helping YOU? In what way would helping YOU benefit me? Did you ever stop to THINK about that?" Rube says: "Well, I was thinking if you HELPED me, you might get a reward! An Immunity Pendant of Life, MINIMUM! Not to mention, having leverage to help you eliminate Dora!" Yakety says: "Oh, he's GOOD!!!!" Bulma thinks about it, and she says: "How could I pass THAT up? All right, I'm in! Here's what I've figured out. Dora MUST be receiving some help! Unless you're me, there's no WAY a girl her age is smart enough to have a plan that can eliminate BOTH Blonda and Squidward in one fell swoop! And if we can PROVE that she's getting ILLEGAL help, that would disqualify her!" Yakety asks: "But who do you think WOULD be helping her?" Bulma says: "Dora's learned a LOT in the past ten years, I'll give her THAT much; but she's not exactly subtle! I've ruled out Tico, since he ONLY speaks Spanish. The Grumpy Old Troll Who Lives Under The Bridge, because he's too grumpy. Swiper, because all HE likes to do is RUIN Dora's journeys, Diego, because he has his OWN show. Boots, because Dora hasn't spoken to him ever since he was taken away. And Backpack, because all he does is carry things. Therefore, that leaves one VALID possibility, MAP!!!!"

Yakety says: "So THAT'S why you made that cryptic Map reference to Squidward; you figured it out!" Bulma says: "Precisely! And what we've got to do, is FORCE Map to come clean!" Rube asks: "How do you plan on doing that?" Bulma says: "I'm afraid we'll have to do something a little unethical, we're going to have to BREAK into Dora's trailer, snatch her map without her realizing it, and replace it with an ordinary, non-talking map!" Rube says: "Look, I'm all for eliminating Dora, but I'm NOT going to steal! That's AGAINST my principles!" Bulma says: "Luckily, you won't have to! Yakety, how are you at stealth?" Yakety blushes, and he says: "Well, I am SURPRISINGLY limber at limbo, but stealing is OUT of my comfort zone!" Bulma says: "Don't think of it as 'Stealing', think of it merely as 'Borrowing TEMPORARILY, with the FULL intent of returning it once we've uncovered Dora's plot!' Besides, she BLACKMAILED her way to get onto this show first! Dora has to learn the HARD truth, that when she COMMITS evil actions to get what she wants, she should FULLY expect to have evil actions committed to her in return!" Yakety says: "Oh, I get it! It's another one of those, 'Be Cruel to Be Kind' lessons like the one you taught to Squidward!" Bulma THINKS about it, and she says: "Sure, let's...go with THAT! Alright, Yakety, I'm counting on you! But...can you DO something about your fur? We can't leave any evidence in Dora's trailer!" Yakety says: "No problem! I'm a modern DESIGN Yak!" And Yakety merely UNBUTTONS his fur, and takes it off like a sweater, revealing a white undershirt and some red boxers! Rube says: "Wow! Modern design yak?! What WILL they think of next?" Bulma says: "Okay, here's the plan!" /

The camera cuts to Rube, Bulma, and Yakety all DOING the activities, as Bulma narrates the plan, all to the tune of the "Mission Impossible" theme! Bulma says: "Dora always gets up at precisely 4:30 A.M. in the morning. At 4:40 A.M., Dora leaves her trailer to take a luxury, contestant shower. She ALWAYS takes 15 minutes! That's when we make our move! Rube will casually stand watch, and keep track of Dora's position, while I utilize the studio's own pulley system, to lower Yakety in through the open skylight. Once in the trailer, while Yakety is wearing rubber gloves, he will rummage through Dora's belongings to find Map! Once he's found it, he will replace Map, with an ordinary, non-talking map, and will tug on the rope twice, signaling me to pull him back up! Once I've got Yakety out of the trailer, we quickly make a break for it before Dora comes back, being none the wiser!" /

The camera cuts back to Bulma's trailer room, as Yakety puts his fur back on. Yakety says: "I've never done a spy thriller before, that was kind of thrilling!" Rube says: "If it wasn't for the fact that I didn't want to get you in trouble, I would've taken some cool pictures! Taking pictures is one of my hobbies and odd jobs, you know!" Bulma says: "Well, in any case, Map is ours! And what luck! He's still asleep! Time to wake him up! Oh, Map?" Map mutters, as he says: "But mommy, I don't want to go to school today. I want to STAY home and bake COOKIES with you!" Bulma seriously says: "Oh, wake up!" Map fully wakes up, and he says: "Huh? Where am I?! This isn't Dora's trailer! Oh, you must be Bulma and...I'm afraid Dora hasn't really talked about either of you two." Rube says: "We're NOT your concern!" Bulma says: "Look, Map, I'm fully well aware that YOU'RE the one that's giving Dora ALL her strategies, including the one that eliminated Blonda and Squidward all in the same challenge!" Map says: "Oh, really? And how did you figure THAT out?" Bulma says: "Look, I'd explain it ALL in brilliant detail, but unless you cooperate with us, you won't LIVE long enough to care! Seeing as how you've provided Dora with all her strategies, you must ALSO know exactly HOW to clear Blonda's name, and reveal that DORA was the one to steal Squidward's clarinet!" Map says: "Oh, what a DELIGHTFUL change! For once, an ADULT actually wants MY help! Well, here's what I say to YOUR request; PHBBT!!!!" Rube says: "Don't be upset, Bulma. Maybe I can REASON with him; cooperate with us, or I will show you SOMETHING which, you 'Can't Unsee It'!" Map says: "Rube, as Dora's most trusted companion, she's FORCED me to watch every single episode of Spongebob Squarepants, Kamp Koral, and The Patrick Star Show that has aired so far at least ONCE! There is NOTHING that could POSSIBLY shock me!" Rube says: "Okay, you ASKED for it! You might want to look away, Yakety!" And Yakety turns his head, and covers his eyes, while Bulma actually grabs OUT her phone camera! Rube says: "Magic, REVEAL!!!!"

And the camera turns to show only the BACKSIDE of Rube, but it also show's Map's expression, and he gasps: "OH MY MICHELANGELO'S Statue of David, is THAT real?! No WONDER you use magic; you'd practically need a TENT to cover THAT up!" Rube says: "A genetic gift from my father and paternal grandfather. Kind of runs in our family!" Map says: "Okay, OKAY! I'll talk, I'll talk! Just, magic up already!" Rube says: "Magic, ON!!!!" And Rube's clothes appear on him again! Map says: "Well, I officially saw MORE of a fish than I thought I would EVER see!" Rube says: "And I DON'T want to show you AGAIN! Now, tell us!" Map sighs and says: "Okay, it's true! I've been using my magical abilities to plot Dora the best course to prevail in each challenge, keep her safe, and humiliate her opponents." Bulma says: "I KNEW it! And you AND Dora KNOW that it is AGAINST the RULES for her to be receiving illegal, outside help; let alone, magic help!" Map says: "I was only helping her, in order to be useful in helping her get Boots back! You have no idea how tough it is to just be a map in this day and age! Even as a magic, talking map, I still STRUGGLE to stay relevant in an age with GPS and automatic map trackers!" Yakety says: "I know how hard it is to stay relevant in changing times. Believe me, you don't know how OFTEN I've had to adjust my comedy routine, in order to be sensitive and compassionate in a changing environment." Bulma asks: "You're not SERIOUSLY on HIS side, are you?" Yakety says: "Not completely. I'm just wondering if there's a way we can help Map!" Rube gets an idea, and he says: "Hey! I just thought of something! The layout of Olmec's Temple is ALWAYS changing! From challenge to challenge, the rooms are always altered! Do you know what that means? Olmec's Temple is some kind of an 'Eldritch Location'!" Bulma says: "With the Shrine of the Silver Monkey ALWAYS being 'The One Constant'!" Rube says: "A Map, that could magically ALWAYS keep track of Olmec's Temple layout, would be a great help to anyone doing a Temple Run! Map, how would you like to stop doing ILLEGAL activities for Dora, and go legitimate with Sniz?" Map says: "You mean it? I could be doing HONEST work? I haven't been able to do such work in AGES, since Dora's FIRST show ended!"

Bulma says: "Very well, than! I'll tell you what! You tell me the BEST way to eliminate Dora, and uncover her schemes, and in exchange, I'll clear YOU of any wrongdoing, so that you can work with Sniz!" Yakety asks: "I don't know, Bulma. How do we know that Map will LEGITIMATELY help us?" Bulma says: "Because if Map DOESN'T legitimately help us, I will FORCE him to look at Rube's naked body AGAIN...which is actually QUITE impressive by fish standards! You have just GOT to get someone to go steady with...but not me; I'm married!" Rube says: "I'll...be sure to work on it!" Map seriously says: "Oh, NO!!!! Once, is MORE than enough for me! Very well, than! I'll tell you EVERYTHING you need to know..." (Confessional) Bulma says: "It turns out Map is actually QUITE reasonable, once you get to know him. He gave me ALL the information I could ever need about getting RID of Dora and more! I'd say 'Poor Dora', but she's brought this on herself! She's about to learn that she should NEVER mess with the MASTER, if she DOESN'T want to get SCHOOLED!" / Rube says: "Having an enormous GIFT is one thing! Finding someone you can actually SHARE it with? That's the KICKER! Po got lucky with Tigress, and Bubble Bass got lucky with Blonda! I know there's someone special for me, I just haven't found the right someone yet." / Yakety says: "One thing's for sure, doing that daring spy espionage has re-enacted my passion for acting, like I did on my own show. I'll probably audition to become the next James Bond. I mean, I do have ACTUAL spy experience, now!" (End Confessional)

Meanwhile, in Po's trailer, Po and Tigress look ABSOLUTELY content and satisfied with each other! Po happily says: "What a wonderful, WONDERFUL night that was!" Tigress says: "Forget the Energizer Bunny, there should be an Energizer Panda; YOU!!!!" Po says: "I know! If love-making was a sport, we'd win Bronze, Silver, AND Gold by a LONG shot!" Tigress says: "Well, we don't need trophies to prove our love anyways! For the first time in a long time, I feel REAL love in my life! A love that I never achieved, despite all the many medals, awards, and trophies that I won! Po, you are REALLY all I need!" Po asks: "And a family?" Tigress says: "If family comes, it won't be for about another nine months. And it could be at least 28 days, before we even find that out!" Po says: "But if you ARE...expecting; won't THAT derail your ability to be in the competition?" Tigress REALIZES this, but she calmly says: "Now that you mention it, it probably WILL! But I'm NOT who I was back during Total Cartoon Global Cruise! This time, I'm fully mature, and I'm READY and actually WANT to have children! I REFUSE to have another false alarm! Besides, I'm not allowed to do another Temple Run. I mean, the biggest reason that I initially entered this season, was to show up my dad, because I thought that would bring me love. But now that I have realized that showing him up won't bring me love, there's no real reason for me to be here anymore." Po says: "You can't mean THAT! The Tigress I know would never JUST 'Give up'!" Tigress says: "You're right! And besides, if I JUST quit, there's no WAY most of the contestants would EVER let me live it down!" Tigress THINKS about it, and she says: "I THINK I have a way out!" Po says: "What would that be?" Tigress says: "Everyone THINKS that I love a challenge, and that I wouldn't want to turn one down! I STILL have an Immunity Pendant of Life; and if I were to leave, it wouldn't be of any use to me! Therefore, I will challenge ALL the remaining Red Jaguars to an Endurance Contest today! Whoever is the FIRST to beat me, I will QUIT and give up my Immunity Pendant of Life to them!" Po says: "That sounds like a smart idea to me, Tigress! This way, you get to go out the way you want to; fighting!" Tigress says: "I'm never one to turn down a good show, and I ALWAYS give the people what they pay for!"

(Confessional) Tigress says: "Let's face the facts; winning these challenges? They weren't very challenging! But raising a FAMILY? Now THAT, would be a REAL challenge! Not only that, but I'm going to be a better mother to MY child and/or children, than my father EVER was to me! You won't see ME having to...win over MY child and/or children the way MY father did!" / Po says: "On the one hand, it would be HARD not having Tigress here. On the other, I wouldn't want to jeopardize Tigress' safety if she IS, in fact, expecting! As such, it would probably be better if she left sooner, rather than later!" (End Confessional) Sniz rings a gong, and over the loud-speakers, he says: "Attention Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars, Blonda quit the competition, and Squidward Tentacles was eliminated at the last Elimination Ceremony! Please proceed to the Moat to find out about today's challenge! That is all!" Spongebob's face droops in genuine sadness, and he says: "Squidward was eliminated? Why?!" Sandy rolls her eyes, and she says: "Well, he was STILL kind of a JERK, anyways!" Larry says: "Not to Spongebob, he wasn't. In spite of everything, he was STILL one of us!" Pearl says: "But on the BRIGHT side, such as it is; think about it THIS way! Johnny Krill was eliminated in 43rd place, and Squidward outlasted eleven more contestants than that! And counting Bubble Bass? There are STILL six of us left in the competition! If we can keep up a good average in NOT getting eliminated, we'll be in GREAT shape for getting at least ONE of us to the Final Three!" Rube shows up, and he says: "And don't worry about Squidward, his elimination will NOT be in vain! There is a plan in motion to take down the one who is TRULY responsible!" Stimpy says: "I KNEW Blonda didn't do it! It just didn't seem right OR feasible to me!" Spongebob dries his eyes, and he says: "Thank you, Rube. I needed to hear that!"

(Confessional) Spongebob says: "You know, I hoped that once Squidward apologized to me, we could merge our abilities and talents, to become a force that dominated physical and mental challenges this season, but I guess THAT dream just wasn't meant to be! It's up to ME now! I have to AVENGE Squidward's loss, and play for him as WELL! This game is no longer JUST about me, it's about US, now!" / Pearl says: "Believe me when I say that once Spongebob sets his mind on something, there is almost NOTHING that can stop him! You won't believe the kinds of lengths he will go through, to achieve a goal he wants! His persistence and determination is TRULY amazing!" / Stimpy says: "I don't think Bulma could've stolen Squidward's clarinet! In the first case, it's too predictable! In the second case, it's too trivial by Bulma's standards! That realistically, leaves only Dora and Taotie! I REALLY hope that Taotie was the one who took Squidward's clarinet, because I would HATE to see someone as young as Dora make SUCH a senseless mistake like THAT!" (End Confessional) The contestants suit up into their team colors, and head to the Temple Moat! Sniz says: "Welcome to another challenge of Total Cartoon Legends, where HOPEFULLY, we will have a MORE normal challenge THIS time!" General Barracuda says: "We BETTER! I went ALL out, preparing a Wild West Challenge that will DOMINATE the Emmy's!" Bulma gulps nervously, and she asks: "Why a Wild West Challenge?" General Barracuda says: "Because it revolves around today's legend! Olmec, tell us what today's legend is!" Olmec says: "Today's legend is, The Legend Of The Lasso Of Wyatt Earp!" And Bulma GULPS in horror!

(Confessional) Bulma breathes into a paper bag, and she nervously says: "Not again, NOT AGAIN!!!! A Wild Western Challenge, revolving around a showdown at the O.K. Corral, was the EXACT thing that got me eliminated the LAST time in Total Cartoon Global Cruise! Of course, the factors THERE were pretty different! There WAS Captain Retro, Anti-Timmy, and the fact that I masterminded pretty much ALL of the sabotaging on Total Cartoon Global Cruise! But still, there's no WAY they'd just pick THIS challenge out of the blue!" Bulma gasps, and she screams in anger: "DORA!!!!" / Dora laughs and she says: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, HA!!!! $1,000 bucks, but worth EVERY penny to pay to Sniz to get him to agree to do THIS challenge, in order to see Bulma's dreams DASHED into a million pieces, AGAIN!!!!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "So, contestants, here is how crossing the Moat will work today. Before railroad's linked the far corners of the United States nation, if people wanted to travel west, they would often ride on covered wagons and oxen in order to get them across the wild mountain streams and rivers. Since we don't have oxen, four contestants on each team will have to pull a covered wagon carrying three of their team-mates across in it! And for an added challenge, we've even made sure that the Moat is the equivalent historic average width of the Snake River, between 1841 through 1860! Once all the contestants have made it safely across the Moat, they will ring their Gong Pedestal, to signify that they have finished crossing. Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars, since you each have one more contestant than the Orange Igaunas and the Purple Parrots, you'll have to sit one of your own out." Keswick says: "I'll sit this one out, I'm not much of a swimmer." Tigress says: "And I have an announcement to make! I have actually come to the realization, that me winning this season, would not fill me up with the love and happiness that I had long been looking for; I already found that when I fell in love with Po. However, I do NOT plan on going away quietly, and I am looking for ONE worthy challenger on my team, to best me in today's challenge! I will give the FIRST challenger who manages to best me, my Immunity Pendant of Life, and I will quit the game, to signify their victory! So, do I have any takers?" Buhdeuce says: "Oh, it is SO on! I've been looking for an EXCUSE to pay you back for eliminating Sway-Sway, and you've just VALIDATED my reason to ACT on that excuse!" Tigress chuckles, and she says: "I'm actually CURIOUS about all your...'Video Game' skills of yours! Let's see how well they stack up against me!"

(Confessional) Taotie says: "Tigress actually WANTS someone to beat her? Now, I've heard of EVERYTHING that I NEVER thought I would EVER hear in my life!" / Buhdeuce says: "I don't know WHY Tigress wants someone to beat her; and quite frankly, I don't care! If she wants someone to beat her, I'll GLADLY step up to the plate!" / Tigress says: "I have to prove that I'm WILLING to lose gracefully, okay?! It's the only way I can OFFICIALLY prove that I'm over my old drive to win!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Daggett, Taotie, Po, and Yakety will be swimming for the Purple Parrots. Treeflower, Spongebob, Marlene, and Super Chum will be swimming for the Green Monkeys. Otto, Sandy, Pearl, and Larry will be swimming for the Red Jaguars. And Dog, Dudley, Bubble Bass, and Harvey will be swimming for the Orange Igaunas! Everyone else will be in the covered wagon! And in the Wild West, before the Telegraph was completed in 1861, people would often have to settle on getting second-hand news about events that would be weeks or months old by the time they arrived in the west! To that end, you'll be swimming to Fleetwood Mac's hit song, "Second Hand News!" On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" /

During the montage, the Red Jaguars honestly TRY their best, but without Tigress to help pull the covered wagon, they're finding it tough to keep their endurance, even though Buhdeuce NEVER stops his momentum; while Dora keeps 'Carelessly' dropping things onto Taotie's head, distracting him from making any real progress! / Fleetwood Mac sings: "I know there's nothing to say! Someone has taken my place! When times go bad, when times go rough; won't you lay me down in tall grass and let me do my stuff! D-down, down, down, down, down, down, down! D-down, down, down, down, down, down, down! I know I got nothin' on you! I know there's nothing to do! When times go bad and you can't get enough, won't you lay me down in the tall grass and let me do my stuff! D-down, down, down, down, down, down, down! D-down, down, down, down, down, down, down! One thing I think you should know, I ain't gonna miss you when you go! Been down so long, I've been tossed around enough! Couldn't you just let me go down and let me do my stuff?! D-down, down, down, down, down, down, down! D-down, down, down, down, down, down, down! I know you're hopin' to find someone who's gonna give you peace of mind! When times go bad, when times go rough; won't you lay me down in tall grass and let me do my stuff? D-down, down, down, down, down, down, down! D-down, down, down, down, down, down, down! I'm just second hand news, I'm just second hand news! Yeah! I'm just second hand news, I'm just second hand news! Yeah!I'm just second hand news, I'm just second hand news! Yeah! I'm just second hand news, I'm just second hand news! Yeah!" /

And the song and montage ends, as the Green Monkeys and the Orange Iguanas, are the first to finish crossing the Moat! Sniz says: "And it's over! The Green Monkeys and the Orange Iguanas will be paired up for today's challenge, meaning the Red Jaguars and the Purple Parrots will be paired up for today's challenge!" Otto says: "No offense, Tigress, but next time, when you WANT someone to beat you, wait until AFTER the Moat challenge to do it!" Tigress blows on her claws, and says: "Duly noted. And I actually WISH you were more impressive, Mr. ATHLETE! But Buhdeuce? You SURPRISED me with your boundless momentum!" Buhdeuce asks: "I did?!" Tigress says: "Surprisingly enough! I'll be watching YOUr performance today with GREAT interest!" (Confessioanl) Buhdeuce says: "Maybe I got Tigress all wrong. It looks like she's actually IMPRESSED by my video game skills!" / Tigress says: "Even if I don't really know what video games are, all I know is that skills are skills. And if someone has them, I need to respect them, no matter WHO they are!" (End Confessional) Dora says: "Gee, Bulma; you BETTER hope you WIN an Immunity Pendant of Life, or else NOTHING will save you from going down in FLAMES, just LIKE Jesse James!" Bulma gets infuriated, and she yells: "Listen UP, you little PUNK!!!! I'm NOT who I was back when I did Total Cartoon Global Cruise! I was PUT into that situation, because I used to BE like you, and HONESTLY thought I could CHEAT my way to a Clean Slate! But I was WRONG; and it almost cost me EVERYTHING! Look, you still HAVE a chance to call ALL of this off, RIGHT now! I personally don't CARE what your reason for being here is, but I don't LIKE seeing someone else make the same mistake I made! Give UP this foolish notion of BEING a villain, or you WILL face the consequences!" Dora says: "Consequences, SCHMONSEQUENCES, as long as I'm rich!"

(Confessional) Bulma says: "Well, I TRIED to warn her! Now, it's time for Operation: MAP!!!!" / Dora says: "Bulma is OLD hat! I'm the NEW generation! I'm where it's AT!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "We got to get our contestants dried off, but don't go away, because we'll be right back, with MORE Total Cartoon Legends!" / (Commercial Break) / After the commercials end, the contestants begin gathering at the Steps of Knowledge. Treeflower asks: "Daggett, don't you think it's weird how the cameras have gone out of their way to NOT focus on me?" Daggett says: "Oh, for the love of SPOOT!!!! If I HAD a dollar for EVERY time you WANTED the camera to focus on you, I'd already HAVE $44.44 million! Why do you got to make EVERYTHING about YOU?! There's STILL 29 other contestants here TO, you know! And if you did anything BESIDES talking about how YOU want to get to the top, the cameras MIGHT focus on you, more!" Treeflower says: "It's NOT even an EGO thing, I just want the camera time to which I DESERVE!" Daggett says: "Maybe that's what you're already GETTING!" (Confessional) Daggett says: "Don't get me wrong; I can understand why Treeflower WANTS to get camera focus; she wasn't ON every single episode of The Angry Beavers like I was! But NORMALLY, you get screen-time by being a funny, LIKABLE character! Treeflower, does NOT fit the qualities of EITHER of those things! Someone BETTER force her to play her Immunity Pendant of Life SOON, before she gets REALLY annoying!" / Treeflower says: "Don't get me wrong; I fully understand that it's a lot HARDER this season to get screen-time! Not to mention, that with the former Silver Snakes constantly fighting amongst each other, and Tigress completely DOMINATING physical challenges, it's been HARD for me to get my proper recognition! Hopefully, if one of the other Red Jaguars manages to beat Tigress today, my chances of getting proper screen-time will increase exponentially!" (End Confessional)

Kitty leans over to Bulma, and Kitty whispers: "If you have a GOOD plan for getting RID of Dora, now might be a GOOD time to USE it!" Bulma chuckles, and she says: "Don't worry, I've got it ALL 'Mapped' out!" And Dora actually LOOKS concerned! (Confessional) Dora says: "Why did Bulma say, 'All Mapped out', like THAT?! I better check MAP again, to find out what to do in this scenario!" And Dora reaches into Backpack, but only pulls out an ordinary, non-sentient map! Dora says: "This isn't MY map! I've been ROBBED!!!! And not even by Swiper! How could someone DO that to ME?!!!" / Bulma chuckles, and she says: "Doesn't feel so GOOD, does it? When YOU'RE on the receiving end on having something taken from you!" (End Confessional) Dora says: "Somebody STOLE something VERY important to me! And nobody is going ANYWHERE until I find out where it IS!!!!" Bulma casually says: "Why DORA, whatever could you be TALKING about?" Dora says: "Don't play DUMB with me, I KNOW you are smarter than that!" Bulma chuckles, and she says: "Yes, yes I am! But YOU'RE not, not without HELP, you're not!" Dora asks: "What are you talking about?" Bulma says: "I don't NEED to explain it, I could simply SHOW everyone...unless you're WILLING to make a deal!" Dora nervously says: "NO! There's...no need to show everyone! We can make a deal!" Bulma smiles, and she says: "I KNEW you'd see it MY way! Come with me, and we'll talk in PRIVATE!!!!" Dora follows Bulma to her trailer, and Bulma says: "The jig is UP, Dora! I KNOW that you have been USING your magical Map, in order to receive ILLEGAL, outside MAGICAL help in order to figure out the BEST way to eliminate and humiliate your fellow contestants, and WHY you were SO insistent on making THIS challenge be a Wild West challenge!" Dora asks: "WHAT?!!! How did YOU know I've been using Map to plot my way through challenges?" Bulma says: "BECAUSE both Map and YOU just TOLD me, FATHEAD!!!!"

(Confessional) Bulma says: "My GOSH!!!! I always wanted to SAY and DO that!" / Dora nervously says: "There's no way! There's no way she could STILL be better than ME, RIGHT?!!!" (End Confessional) Bulma says: "In any case, I know everything that Map knows about you! And...if Sniz WERE to find out that you've been receiving Map's ILLEGAL, magic outside help, the penalties for you would be VERY severe, to say the least!" Dora says: "You can't DO that! You can't breathe a WORD about this to ANYBODY, least of all, to Sniz!" Bulma says: "If you WANT me to keep quiet, you will do EXACTLY as I say!" Dora asks: "Well, what do you want?" Bulma says: "Here is how it will work; you will let me answer ALL the questions on the Steps Of Knowledge today, so that I will receive the Immunity Pendant of Life!" Dora asks: "Why would I agree to THAT?! You just WANT it so that you can safely vote ME off if our team loses!" Bulma says: "All I know, is that if you DON'T agree to it, I TELL Sniz and YOU lose WITHOUT any challenge needing to be done! But, if you COOPERATE with me, and agree to play FAIRLY, you at least HAVE a chance of staying safe!" Dora says: "Where is Map right now?" Bulma says: "He's safe and well, inside of my trailer. I won't be using Map the way YOU have though, and neither will anyone else! In exchange for keeping him safe from any legal repercussions, I agreed to let Map go legitimate, and work for Sniz. In other words, you CAN'T utilize Map's help anymore, even if YOU wanted to!" Dora thinks about it, and she says: "FINE! Answer the DUMB questions, and I'll play your way! Even without Map, I still have ACTUAL skills from my show!" Bulma says: "We'll see! My guess is, you've been relying on the help of Map and of 'Children' for so long, you've forgotten HOW to act for yourself!" Dora says: "I'll show YOU, when the time comes for the PHYSICAL challenge!" Bulma chuckles, and she says: "I look forward to it!"

(Confessional) Bulma chuckles, and she says: "That was only phase ONE of Operation: Map! Wait until what Dora sees what I will unfold for phase TWO!!!!" / Dora says: "Bulma does NOT have me beat just yet! I've figured my way out of tighter spots than THIS!!!!" (End Confessional) Dora and Bulma return to the Steps of Knowledge, and Taotie asks: "What were YOU two, talking about?" Bulma casually says: "Oh, just some unimportant girl stuff. You wouldn't be at ALL interested!" (Confessional) Taotie says: "In my personal experience, 'Unimportant Girl Stuff' ALWAYS translates to women talking SMACK about you behind your back! It's SO unfair from MY point of view!" (End Confessional) Sniz arrives, and he says: "Okay, the time has come to decide who will be doing the Steps Of Knowledge for this time!" Bulma says: "Oh, I don't think I will have ANY problem doing it with DORA!!!!" General Barracuda says: "Ooh, CONFIDANT! Usually, you have to pay EXTRA for THAT!" Treeflower says: "And I'm partnering with Keswick! I refuse to be pushed to the SIDELINES, again!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "I HAD to volunteer for the Steps Of Knowledge! HELLO! If I don't get my allotted screen-time, I run the risk of NOT meeting the necessary quota, for being a viable winner!" / Keswick says: "It's both a blessing and a curse to be in an alliance with Treeflower. On the one hand, it will probably be super EASY to beat her in a popularity contest! But on the other hand, it's going to be SO hard to IGNORE her on the way to the final three! Thank goodness people invented meditation, it REALLY helps keep me sane!" (End Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "I'll partner up with Sandy, and we'll take on the Steps Of Knowledge together!" Sandy says: "Wow, Buhdeuce! You're REALLY fired up, today!" Buhdeuce says: "Naturally! I plan on proving myself, both to Sway-Sway, AND to Tigress!"

(Confessional) Tigress says: "Wow! He DOES have the same spark of fire that I've had! Maybe he really CAN beat me!" / Buhdeuce says: "After countless times of having to deal with Oonski the Great, you learn how to deal with a tough boss like Tigress! It takes both brains, AND brawn! Of course, a little speed and stamina never hurt, either!" (End Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "And I will be partnering with Chameleon!" Chameleon excitedly asks: "Really?! You're partnering with me?!" Bubble Bass says: "Statistically speaking, you ARE the smartest contestant on the Orange Iguanas BESIDES me!" (Confessional) Chameleon says: "Wow! Bubble Bass thinks I'M smart! And he wants to partner with ME! The doors of friendship have REALLY been opening up for me, since I became a good guy!" / Bubble Bass says: "In addition to Chameleon's brain, he also has his handy transformation skills, which MIGHT prove useful in a challenge. Besides, he DID make it all the way to the Final Five on Total Cartoon Global Cruise! You've GOT to have skills in order to do that!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Okay! The decisions have been made, it's time for Olmec to tell us more about today's legend, of the Lasso of Wyatt Earp!"

Olmec says: "On October 26, 1881, in the town of Tombstone in modern day Arizona, the legendary shoot-out at the O.K. Corral took place! The shoot-out, was a result of a feud between cowboys Billy Claiborne, brothers Ike and Billy Clanton, and brothers Tom and Frank McLaury on one side; and Town Marshal Virgil Earp, his younger brothers Morgan and Wyatt Earp, and temporary policeman Doc Holliday on the other side. Despite it's name, the shoot-out actually didn't take place at the O.K. Corral; but rather, on a narrow lot on Fremont Street. In any case, the reason why Tombstone was initially established as a town in March 1879, was due to the discovery of silver in the area. When it was founded, it only had a population of 100. But by 1881, it had a population of at least 7,000! Virgil and Wyatt Earp arrived in Tombstone on December 1, 1879. Virgil was initially hired as the Deputy U.S. Marshal for Pima County, and by June 1881, became Tombstone's Town Marshal, or Police Chief! According to the Earps' version of events, the fight was in self-defense, because the so-called 'Cowboys', were armed in violation of the local ordinance that was established on April 19, 1881, and defied the lawful order to hand over their weapons, and drew their pistols instead. A local Doctor, named George Goodfellow examined the bodies of the three vanquished 'Cowboys', and supported the Earps' testimony. Prior to the shoot-out, on October 28, 1880, when Wyatt Earp saw outlaw Curly Bill Brocius discharge his gun into than Tombstone Marshal Fred White, Wyatt Earp used his lasso to pistol whip the gun out of Curly's hands! During the actual shoot-out, it is not clear who shot first; but Wyatt Earp once again took his lasso to the fight. While the shoot-out only lasted about 30 seconds at 3 P.M., Wyatt Earp amazingly emerged from the shoot-out, as the only person unharmed! The legend says that to his dying day, on January 13, 1929, Wyatt Earp would carry his lasso with him wherever he went. But when he died, his lasso was nowhere to be found. Eventually, the lasso found it's way to the Temple! Your job is to retrieve the lasso of Wyatt Earp and bring it back here!"

Sniz says: "Thanks, Olmec! Where can the Lasso of Wyatt Earp be found?" Olmec says: "The Lasso of Wyatt Earp can be found in the Snake's Pit!" Sniz says: "All right! You know the drill! Purple Parrots and Orange Iguanas, if one of you gets down the Steps Of Knowledge first, you will receive an Immunity Pendant of Life! The other team will have to try and find one during the physical challenge! Olmec, ask the questions!" Olmec asks: "When was the town of Tombstone, first established?" Bulma rings in first, and she says: "March, 1879!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And they move down a step! Sandy asks: "Buhdeuce, why didn't you ring in?" Buhdeuce says: "I wanted to give YOU a chance to answer first! Chivalry isn't DEAD, you know!" Sandy says: "That's nice! But if you KNOW the answer, try to ring in first!" Buhdeuce says: "Can do!" Olmec asks: "Why was the town of Tombstone, Arizona, established?" Buhdeuce rings in, and he says: "It was due to the discovery of silver in the area!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And they move down a step! Bulma says: "So, the duck actually HAS some brains, not that it will do him any good!" Olmec asks: "When did Virgil and Wyatt Earp first arrive in Tombstone?" Bulma rings in, and she says: "On December 1, 1879!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" Buhdeuce says: "Wow! Bulma IS determined if she's willing to move THAT fast!" Sandy says: "Which means YOU need to be JUST, if not MORE, determined than her!" Buhdeuce says: "Right!" Olmec asks: "On which date did Wyatt Earp first bring his lasso into a conflict?" Buhdeuce rings in, and he says: "October 28, 1880!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And they move down a step! Bulma says: "You're out of your LEAGUE if you think you can compete with MY brains! There is no WAY that YOU are smarter than me!" Buhdeuce says: "I'm NOT backing down, I'm going ALL the way!" Bulma says: "Than so BE it!" Olmec says: "What was the population of Tombstone, when it was first established?" Bulma rings in, and she says: "100!" Olmec says: "That is correct!"

And the Purple Parrots step down to the bottom! Sniz says: "And the Purple Parrots did it! They have won an Immunity Pendant of Life!" Bulma says: "We already discussed this, and I will be taking the Immunity Pendant of Life!" General Barracuda asks: "Oh, really? Is this TRUE?" Dora, deciding to NOT take any chances, rolls her eyes, and says: "It's true." Sniz says: "Very well, than. The Immunity Pendant of Life goes to Bulma. Now, it's time for the challenge arena!" Tigress says: "Determination, AND brains! That's a very RARE combination! Perhaps, if you do well in the physical challenge, YOU will be the one to receive my Immunity Pendant of Life!" Buhdeuce says: "WOW! Thanks, Tigress!" (Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "I think it would've been more impressive had I actually won the Steps of Knowledge. Still, it's not often that SOMEONE impresses Tigress, and that's really SAYING something!" / Tigress says: "It feels so GOOD to FINALLY find SOMEONE who's willing to carry on in MY spirit of competition! Perhaps this is how Master Shifu felt while training me and Po. At least, I certainly like to think so!" / Dora says: "Having to let Bulma have the Immunity Pendant of Life? Eh, tragic. But now, the kid gloves are OFF! She only SAID I had to play the game FAIRLY, which means I can TOTALLY and FAIRLY, not play to 100% of my capability, which will make the Purple Parrots LOSE, and FORCE Bulma to play her Pendant of Life, while I just pick off some OTHER loser like DAGGETT! In other words, Bulma might have managed to BUY herself one more episode, but it's ONLY one more episode!" / Bulma says: "What Dora doesn't realize, is that the Purple Parrots won't even NEED to have an Elimination Ceremony tonight, because the second phase of my plan is ABOUT to commence!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Anyways, the plan for the Challenge Arena is--."

Bulma says: "HOLD IT!!!! I have an important announcement to make!" Otto asks: "Really, right NOW?!" Bulma says: "Believe it or not, it's ACTUALLY important, even by YOUR high standards! Dora the Explorer, is in fact a LYING cheater! She has been receiving ILLEGAL, outside MAGIC help, in the form of MAP!!!!" Dora yells: "That's a lie! I've been playing FAIR!!!! I didn't BRING Map! Bulma is LYING, like she ALWAYS does!" Bulma says: "You mean, like I USED to! Your biggest FLAW in facing against me, was thinking that I was INCAPABLE of learning from my mistakes! Well, I have been putting what I've learned to good use, namely getting RID of you! Yakety, bring forth the PROOF!" Yakety says: "On it!" Yakety goes to Bulma's trailer, and brings out Map! Bulma says: "Last CHANCE, Dora! Spill it, or Map WILL!" Dora nervously says: "No comprende an Ingles!" Bulma groans, and says: "Fine, I'll do it myself! Map has been using his magical abilities to plot courses, SPECIFICALLY to help Dora get THROUGH challenges, and figure out the best way to HUMILIATE and ELIMINATE contestants, such as WHEN she STOLE Squidward's clarinet, and FRAMED Blonda for DOING it!" Stimpy gasps, and he says: "Dora, how COULD you do something so, HORRIBLE?!" Dora kneels down, and yells in despair: "I was DOING this just so I could win the money to buy BOOTS back!!!!" Gerald says: "Girl, that is simply NO excuse! Even my kid SISTER knows BETTER!" Marlene says: "Dora, lying and cheating is NO way to get what you want! I lied during Total Cartoon Global Cruise, and I got myself eliminated HUMILIATED for all my trouble!" Fee says: "I'm by no means a saint, but I would NEVER take something that wasn't mine, and I would NEVER intentionally lie to Harvey!" Harvey says: "And likewise, I don't lie or steal either! I can't BELIEVE I used to HONESTLY like your first show!"

Taotie says: "Even MY evil plans had MORE subtlety than YOURS did! I wasn't fooled for a MINUTE!" Tigress says: "And your PARENTS?! Did you EVER stop to THINK about how THEY would and WILL feel, once they find out about THIS?!" Wally says: "What REALLY hurts, is that you NEVER thought to make friends with another monkey, who's been HERE this whole time, if you REALLY wanted companionship! But after what you've done, I don't think Boots would WANT to come back to you even if you TRIED to pay for him!" Zarbon says: "You MIGHT have a pretty face. But for what it's worth, I'm not sure if I have seen anyone UGLIER than YOU are, now!" Jenny says: "Statistically speaking, you've not ONLY given a bad name to your show, but you've made Hispanic women look WORSE than they should!" Bubble Bass says: "I am going to make sure, my INFANT Rube NEVER grows up to be like YOU are!" The Adult Rube says: "Thank you, dad!" Dora looks at Bulma, and Dora says: "YOU promised--!" Bulma says: "I'm sorry! Did I EVER promise that I WOULDN'T reveal to EVERYONE that YOU cheated if you LET me answer every question? DID I?!!! I WARNED you about the consequences; did you think I was just blowing SMOKE in your FACE?! You BROUGHT this fate upon yourself, and now you have to LIVE with the awful things you did!" Sniz says: "It seems that the consensus is clear! Dora, you are EFFECTIVELY to be ejected and eliminated from this game IMMEDIATELY, with NO chance of EVER getting on this show again! Now, go wait at the Mine Cart of Shame, and don't even THINK about trying to escape! General Barracuda, happens to be an EXPERT tracker!" General Barracuda says: "Actually, TRACKER is an excellent tracker, but I'm a close second! It's just a shame we couldn't get any of the Paw Patrol to be HERE instead of Dora!" Sniz says: "Maybe if we can manage to SQUEEZE season five in, we might manage!" Dora groans, and she angrily says: "FINE!!!! The $44.44 million was probably DIRTY money anyways!" And she angrily walks off to the Mine Cart of Shame!

(Confessional) Bulma chuckles, and she says: "Check, and MATE! In a weird way, I actually have to THANK Dora, for this opportunity! I feel like I FINALLY exorcised a dreadful demon out of my body! I DEFINITELY feel like one of the good guys, now!" / Stimpy says: "I honestly didn't think Dora was capable of such an...ATROCITY! Just goes to show that you can't judge someone by their looks!" / Gerald says: "There's this great new concept, called getting an ACTUAL job, Dora might want to TRY it, someday!" / Marlene says: "FINALLY! I have an excuse to use the Confessional! I mean, you would THINK if Dora WATCHED Total Cartoon Global Cruise, that she would know better than to try to LIE the way I did! I mean, Bulma was the one who UNCOVERED my lie! Did Dora REALLY think she would do any better AGAINST Bulma?" / Harvey sighs, and says: "It's sad when good girls go bad. I'm just glad Fee has a good head on her shoulders." / Fee says: "I actually have Harvey to think for keeping me so good. For lack of a better term, he's my 'Morality Pet'." / Taotie says: "If anything, Dora being revealed as a villain, is the ultimate PROOF to me, on why being a villain is such a bad idea. No matter HOW elaborate the plan, you will ALWAYS be found out on it!" / Tigress says: "While I've had a complicated relationship with my father, at LEAST I was HONEST enough to actually win my trophies, medals, and awards HONESTLY! Dora just made her OWN life so much harder for herself!" / Wally says: "While I'm willing to like a lot of different people, even if we DON'T agree on everything, Dora is NOT one of those people! I'm not a fan of LIARS!" / Zarbon says: "Bulma used me during Total Cartoon Global Cruise, and I feel really terrible for letting myself being used. I had hoped that no one else would try to pull what Bulma did, and I never thought that BULMA would be the one to uncover it! I guess she really HAS learned from her mistakes...not that I'm WILLING to help her in a challenge AGAIN, unless I absolutely HAD to!" / Jenny says: "As a robot, I can't cry. But I STILL feel sad that Dora CHOSE to do what she did!" / Bubble Bass says: "My son DESERVES to grow up in a world, where people DON'T lie and deceive others! He DESERVES better than that!" / Rube smiles, and he says: "It feels so GOOD to help bring some justice to these times!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Okay, with Dora out, that means the Purple Parrots are out, to. But we still need to determine which of the other teams will have someone eliminated as well." Tigress says: "Are we FORGETTING that SOMEONE has the opportunity to--." Buhdeuce rushes up to her, with a lasso in his hand, and Tigress quickly says: "Not in the FACE! Or the neck, ears, nose, waist, or ANYWHERE in the chest area!" And Buhdeuce gently loops the lasso around Tigress' shoulders! General Barracuda says: "Well, I guess that settles that." Sniz says: "That's right! Tigress DID say she would quit if someone on her team managed to best her! That means that Buhdeuce gets Tigress' Immunity Pendant of Life!" Tigress hands over the Immunity Pendant of Life to Buhdeuce, and she sighs in relief, and she says: "You did it, Buhdeuce. You FINALLY relieved me of a LIFETIME of always having to be the best! Now, that I've lost gracefully and honestly to you, I don't need to win, anymore. Thank you, Buhdeuce." Buhdeuce says: "You're welcome. And, I'm sorry we had to face each other as opponents. Maybe in another time, in another place, I could've called you 'Friend'." Tigress says: "Well, if you ever visit the Valley of Peace, you can feel free to do so." Buhdeuce says: "I'll be sure to keep that in mind." Tigress sighs, and she says: "Sniz, I'm ready to leave. But...could I take the Limo of Shame? I MIGHT be pregnant, and I don't want to risk harming my unborn child and/or children by going on the Mine Cart of Shame." Sniz says: "Of course you can! We would NEVER endanger the prodigy of Tigress!" And to prove his point, the Limo of Shame drives up, being driven by Gordon! Tigress says: "Well, THIS just got awkward! Will you PLEASE drive slowly and sanely?" Gordon sighs, and says: "Only because Sniz is PAYING me to do so!" Tigress says: "All right, than. I feel comfortable about this! Po, I'll see you at the finale!" Tigress gets in the Limo of Shame, and she says: "BYE!!!!" And the Limo drives off! Sniz says: "Well, with Tigress gone, and Dora needing to leave, I guess that means we don't need to do a Temple Run after all, since an Elimination Ceremony isn't really necessary! Green Monkeys and Orange Iguanas, take the night off; you earned it! Red Jaguars and Purple Parrots, help us see Dora OFF!"

(Confessional) Buhdeuce gazes at the Immunity Pendant of Life, and he says: "I did it. I actually beat Tigress, and I've avenged Sway-Sway! I finally feel like a TRUE Breadwinner!" / Po says: "I feel better now that Tigress is safe. I can really go to my full potential, now that I don't have to worry about her safety!" (End Confessional) The rest of the Red Jaguars and the Purple Parrots are sitting down to an Elimination Ceremony, but they already have a Chocolate Pendant of Life! Dora says: "Uh, isn't someone ELSE supposed to be joining me?" Sniz says: "Tigress left another way, because she was PRETTY sure she was pregnant! So, the Mine Cart of Shame will be a party of one, this time!" Dora sighs, as she puts on her helmet, and she straps herself in. Dora says: "At least I won't have to deal with TIGRESS' sarcasm!" Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Than 3, 2, 1, BLAST-OFF!!!!" And Dora rockets down the mine-tracks, and through the Mine Shaft of Losers! Sniz turns to Map, and he says: "Map, welcome aboard to the staff! I look forward to using you to help our contestants find their way to the Temple!" Map says: "It will be my pleasure!" Sniz says: "So, we didn't get to do a Temple Run after all, but we still got rid of two contestants! And now, with Tigress out of the game, it is LITERALLY anyone's game to win or lose! Find out who will rise to the occasion, on the next new episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "It will be another WILD adventure!" /

Stinger: Dora exits out of the Portal, and winds up in a rather quaint town in California! Dora looks around, and she says: "Now TELL me I did NOT end up here; in Barstow, California?! That portal DUMPED me into the middle of scenic NOWHERE! Why couldn't I have been dumped in somewhere MORE fun, like Las Vegas, Nevada?! Well, at least I am close to Interstate 15 which is a straight shot TO there; so maybe I can catch a ride, there!" Dora sticks out her thumb, and who should HAPPEN to drive up, except HER mother and father?! Her mother yells: "DORA!!!! Were you PLANNING on hitch-hiking to somewhere you're NOT supposed to go, like Las Vegas, Nevada?!" Dora nervously says: "Backpack, if you have something USEFUL in you to get me OUT of this, now would be a good TIME for it!" Backpack says: "Hey! I'm ONLY a talking backpack, not some MIRACLE worker! You're on your OWN, Dora!" Dora groans, and she says: "I am SO going to get GROUNDED until I'm 18 for THIS!" /

Episode Notes: Dora's cheating (with the help of Map) is uncovered, and she becomes the 4th contestant to be eliminated via ejection, while Map becomes a new employee of the Total Cartoon Staff. This marks the second time this season, in which a Temple Run isn't performed at all. Tigress is beaten by Buhdeuce, and she gives Buhdeuce her Immunity Pendant of Life, and quits. She's also the second contestant to NOT take the Mine Cart of Shame after being eliminated. Featured songs: The Escape Club's "Wild, Wild West", and Fleetwood Mac's "Second Hand News". Eliminated Contestants: 46. Kowalski. 45. Private. 44. Kaput. 43. Johnny Krill. 42. Haggis McHaggis. 41. Monster Krumholtz. 40. Aang. 39. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 38. Darwin. 37. Heffer Wolfe. 36. Judy Funny. 35. Sway-Sway. 34. Invader Zim. 33. Gonard. 32. Blonda. 31. Squidward Tentacles. 30. Dora the Explorer. 29. Tigress. Remaining Contestants: Daggett Beaver, Purple Parrots. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Orange Iguanas. Kitty Katswell, Purple Parrots. Harvey Beaks, Orange Iguanas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Taotie, Purple Parrots. Po, Purple Parrots. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Orange Iguanas. Zarbon, Orange Iguanas. Bulma Briefs, Purple Parrots. Chameleon, Orange Iguanas. Fee, Orange Iguanas. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Orange Iguanas. Yakety Yak, Purple Parrots. (Future Adult) Rube Goldfish, Green Monkeys. /

Personal Notes: As always, figuring out a good, satisfying way to have Tigress eliminated was tricky. Even if she WAS content with not winning, she knew better than anyone, that NOBODY would be satisfied with her JUST quitting, so she HAD to provide someone incentive to beat her! To that end, I thought it would be only fitting for Buhdeuce, a contestant that Tigress so thoroughly brushed off before, to be the one to FINALLY beat Tigress, and PROVE himself as a Legend, and a Breadwinner! As for Dora, she was a tragic case of a "White Dwarf Starlet". Previously accustomed to getting everything she wanted, she could not STAND taking "No" for an answer, which proved to be her undoing! Unwilling, and/or unable to listen to anyone else and take responsibility for her own actions, she unintentionally forced her OWN self out of the game, and will surely have to reflect on what she did for a long, LONG time! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

Even my more NORMAL episodes are LONG! But I hope you enjoy the re-run of this one anyways! / Sniz is in the master control room, looking at camera feeds of various footage that has happened in this season, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Legends, we were down to 30 contestants. Rube, convinced that his mother was innocent, went to Bulma, to ask for her help, in finding out who the actual culprit was, for stealing Squidward's clarinet. They found out, to their surprise, that Dora had ILLEGALLY brought outside, magical help, in the form of Map, who spilled EVERYTHING to Bulma! And a good thing to, because Bulma had to wrestle with the demon, that was a Wild Western challenge, in The Legend of the Lasso of Wyatt Earp! Bulma basically FORCED Dora to let her answer ALL the questions on the Steps of Knowledge, so that she could win the Immunity Pendant of Life! And even after Bulma did that, she STILL decided to give Dora her laser-guided karma, by revealing the truth to EVERYBODY! Talk about getting BURNED! Needless to say, the evidence could NOT be ignored, which is why Dora was eliminated via ejection! Meanwhile, Tigress, needing a way to exit the competition in a way that would be fitting for her, decided to challenge anyone on her team, to best her, in order to win her Immunity Pendant of Life, and in doing so, allow her to quit the game. Buhdeuce stepped up to the plate, FINALLY bested Tigress, allowing her to quit, and FINALLY allowing Buhdeuce to feel like a TRUE Legend, and a REAL Breadwinner! Now we are down to 28 contestants! Can the Red Jaguars carry on without Tigress? How will the Purple Parrots fare now that Dora is gone? And which two contestants are about to find their time run out in terms of being contestants? The alarm will be ringing, on today's episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "Today's legend, will certainly, RING a BELL!" / Instead of the normal show open, it shows Wally dreaming, a shot for shot remake of Culture Club's music video of "Time", with Wally, Rube, Spongebob, Bubble Bass, and Sandy playing the major roles in the music video, while Wally sings the song to Rube. /

Wally sings: "Don't put your head on my shoulder, sink me in a river of tears. This could be the best place yet, but you must overcome your fears. Oh, in time, we could've been so much more. But time is precious, I know. In time, we could've been so much more. But time has nothing to show because, Time won't give me time. And time makes lovers feel, like they've got something real. But you and me, we know we've got nothing but time! And time won't give me time! Won't give me time! Don't make me feel any colder! Time is like a clock in my heart. Touch, we touch, was the heat too much? I felt I lost you from the start. Oh, in time, we could've been so much more. But time is precious, I know. In time, we could've been so much more. But time, has nothing to show because, Time won't give me time. And time makes lovers feel, like they've got something real. But you and me, we know we've got nothing but time! And time won't give me time! Won't give me time! Time! Time! Time! (Instrumental Break) Oh, in time, we could've been so much more. But time is precious, I know. In time, we could've been so much more. But time, has nothing to show because, Time won't give me time. And time makes lovers feel, like they've got something real. But you and me, we know we've got nothing but time! And time won't give me time! Because time makes loves feel, like they've got something real! And you and me, we know we've got nothing but time! And time won't give me time..." / And the song fades out, and the music video montage ends! /

"The Legend Of Pavlov's Bell!" / Wally wakes up from his dream, and he says: "Is it POSSIBLE? I'm not sure how to say this, but, I think I'm in LOVE with Future Adult Rube Goldfish!" (Confessional) Wally says: "Look, I value Bubble Bass' friendship, a lot! During my time as an Intern on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, he always made sure we had fun together, and always listened to my interesting ideas. Of course, I knew that WE could only ever HAVE a friendship, due to him being married to Blonda. I just never expected that I would fall in love with his son from the future! I don't know what it is, but I'm honestly attracted to him! Of course, I don't want to ruin my friendship with Bubble Bass. I better ask him, before I do anything else!" (End Confessional) It is still night time, and Wally goes over to Bubble Bass' trailer. Wally knocks on the door, and Bubble Bass asks: "Who can it be at THIS time of the night?!" Wally says: "It's me, Wally! Can I come in?" Bubble Bass opens the door, looking only HALF awake, and starting to get beard stubble on his chin! Wally says: "Wow! You look like something the CAT dragged in! I'd say 'Tigress', but she's not here anymore!" Bubble Bass says: "I FEEL like something the Cat dragged in! Raising Infant Rube Goldfish is EXHAUSTING! It DEFINITELY requires the biggest amount of time and patience that anyone can muster! I definitely love my son, but I sure will be GLAD when Blonda will be able to attend to his needs again." Wally laughs nervously, and he says: "Funny you should MENTION Rube, because I was wondering about something...not the INFANT Rube, but the Rube from the Future!" Bubble Bass says: "Really? What about him?" Wally says: "Well, I just had this dream, where Future Rube, you, Spongebob, Sandy, and I were re-enacting the Culture Club music video 'Time'. And during it, I couldn't help but keep my eyes on Future Rube. Bubble Bass, I think I'm in love with the future version of your son!"

And Wally tenses up nervously, as if expecting Bubble Bass to lose it, but Bubble Bass calmly says: "Is THAT what you wanted to talk to me about, and why you were so nervous? Wally, the future version of MY son is technically an adult! I legally have no control over who he loves, and how he wants to live his life. If you love him, I'm perfectly FINE with that! It doesn't matter who you love; love is love!" Wally sighs in relief, and he says: "Thank you for being so understanding!" Bubble Bass says: "Of course, it all depends on how Future Rube feels. I can't guarantee that he'll feel the same way about you, that you do about him. But, regardless of what happens, I don't want whatever he decides, to affect our friendship together; okay?" Wally says: "Of course not! And I'm sorry we haven't had much of a chance to interact this season; the way the team dynamics are structured." Bubble Bass says: "Don't worry about it. If we keep our wits about us, I'm sure we'll at LEAST make the Team Merge!" Wally says: "That will be cool!" Bubble Bass says: "Anyways, I got to go to bed now, and HOPEFULLY get SOME rest before Infant Rube wakes up again! Cute baby, but little control over his inner body clock if you know what I mean!" Wally says: "At this point, I can only imagine. (Confessional) Wally says: "It's cool that Bubble Bass is cool with me being in love with Future Rube. Of course, I can only wonder how Future Rube will react to it." / Bubble Bass is feeding the Infant Rube a bottle of milk, and Bubble Bass says: "NEVER take the role of a wife/mother and/or spouse for granted! Their ability to sacrifice THEIR needs to provide for a child, is nothing short of amazing! The next time Blonda has a birthday, I am DEFINITELY going all out for her!" (End Confessional)

Wally goes to Future Adult Rube's room, and Wally knocks on Rube's door. Rube asks: "Who is it?!" Wally says: "I'm Wally, Bubble Bass' friend! May I come in?" Rube says: "Of course! The more, the merrier!" Wally walks into Rube's room, and is ASTOUNDED to see the layout of it, look a lot like Patrick Star's house on The Patrick Star Show! Wally says: "WOAH! This is amazing!" Rube asks: "Do you like it?! I created it myself! I've always dreamed of having a magical house that did anything YOU wanted it to, and when Patrick wanted to try his own show, he asked if I could whip something up for him, so I gave him this copy of my own magical design!" Wally says: "I always wondered about that. Anyways, I didn't come here to admire your room, I actually came, because I was...curious about something." Rube asks: "What were you curious about?" Wally says: "First off, I want to ask something. Have...you ever thought about love?" Rube says: "As a matter of fact, I actually have. I love my mother and my father a lot, but I've got places that I want to go to, as well! I want to take pictures of everywhere in the world that I can go to, and...it would be really nice if I had someone who was there with me." Wally says: "That's interesting, but...that's not really what I meant." Rube says: "Oh. Do you mean...if I've ever loved someone romantically?" Wally honestly says: "Well, yes!" Rube says: "Wow! No one's ever really ever ASKED me something like THAT before!" Wally asks: "A nice guy like YOU? I find THAT hard to believe!" Rube winces, and he says: "Well...it's ACTUALLY because of something, that MOST people would find a little HARD to handle! And, the only way you're going to BELIEVE me, is if I show you myself!" Wally asks: "Show me what?" Rube says: "Just a disclaimer, Map felt like he wanted to take a 'Brain Bleach' after he saw this!" Wally says: "I've traveled across space itself! Name anything, and I've probably seen it!" Rube says: "Trust me, it's FAR easier to show you! MAGIC REVEAL!!!!"

And the camera once again switches to Rube's backside, and still show's Wally's expression! Wally says: "You ARE Bubble Bass' son!" Rube asks: "You're...NOT freaked out by it?" Wally says: "Well, I can understand why a nice guy like you hasn't found anybody yet. But, I'm honestly not freaked out about it." Rube says: "Even so, in good conscience, I don't think you'd be able to handle my love, for lack of a better term." Wally says: "Well, maybe you've been thinking about this all wrong. It's...difficult to find someone who CAN handle your love; but, instead of giving, have you ever thought about receiving?" Rube says: "No, I honestly never thought of that." Wally says: "Well, I feel like I can be honest with you, since you were so honest with me. I think I'm in love with you. But...I don't know if that will affect anything in the future if I DO start a relationship!" Rube says: "Thankfully, it won't! Blonda put a magical spell on me, so anything I do here, won't affect the time I come from, and it doesn't affect anybody unless they WANT to be affected! Oh, speaking of magic...MAGIC ON!!!!" And Rube's clothes appear back on Rube again! Rube says: "I'm glad to have met someone like you. You're the first one BESIDES my dad to NOT be freaked out about being naked!" Wally says: "Well, I believe that there's something for everyone. Still, I do believe we should have a trial period before we commit to anything, just to make sure we're compatible." Rube says: "Of course. No sense in rushing into anything that you're not completely sure about." Wally looks over Rube again, and Wally says: "I'll make it one week; I should know by than. I'm looking forward to hanging out with you more!" Rube says: "Oh, right! Because we ARE on the same team! Let's make the next challenge a good one!"

(Confessional) Rube says: "Even though it's kind of weird that I had to go BACK in time to find someone who wasn't freaked out by my...genetic gift, it's still nice to know that there are different ways of FEELING love, and even if it's difficult for me to give it, I can very easily RECEIVE it! I personally don't care, just so long as I'm feeling it! I think my dad will be all right about this, not so sure about my mother. MAYBE I'd better talk it over with my dad first, so that we can talk about it together." / Wally says: "Rube sure is open-minded, to give a relationship with me a shot! Even though I'm only a monkey, I want to do EVERYTHING I can to be the RIGHT kind of guy for Rube! After all, just about everybody deserves somebody to love, no matter WHAT time they're from!" (End Confessional) Meanwhile, at the Red Jaguars hotel lobby, the remaining Red Jaguars are holding a team meeting. Gerald asks: "Any idea WHY Sandy wanted to have a team meeting?" Pearl says: "My money? It probably involves Tigress!" Sandy says: "Team-mates, we are in a position, that I LOGICALLY thought that we would never find ourselves in...at least until much LATER in this season! We have LOST the BEST member of our TEAM!" Pearl says: "Tigress related, CALLED it!" Buhdeuce says: "Hey! It's not MY fault she WANTED to go, and kept her word about quitting! Besides, she eliminated Sway-Sway! What was I SUPPOSED to do; ignore that?!" Larry says: "I personally wouldn't!" Buhdeuce says: "Thank you!" Sandy says: "In any case, it won't be long before the other teams find out about this, and try to capitalize on this development! We need a new ringer; someone who has the strength of Tigress, some brains, speed, and stamina, that can help us win challenges!" Otto sighs, and says: "Well, I was HOPING to save my best skills for later, but I suppose I can step up to the plate!" Sandy says: "I LITERALLY wasn't even TALKING about you!" Otto grunts, and he says: "Figures YOU wouldn't!" Jenny says: "Well, I have been WANTING to try some new diagnostic programs; I'll sign up!" Sandy sarcastically says: "Oh SURE! A LITERAL 'Strat-bot!' That will go over WELL with the TV audience!"

Sandy seriously says: "Gerald IS cool, but there's no way he has the necessary strength...Pearl?" Pearl asks: "What are you thinking of?" Sandy says: "Do you...think that I would be a good choice to replace Tigress?" Pearl says: "Probably! I mean, you ARE the smartest member of our team! And you have strength, stamina, and a good amount of speed!" Sandy says: "All right! I have a second! Everybody who wants me to replace Tigress, raise their hands!" And everyone EXCEPT Otto raises their hand! Sandy asks: "Any objections?" And Otto DEFIANTLY raises his hand! Otto says: "Yes. I have a very STRONG objection? Replacing TIGRESS?! Tell me how that is NOT a bad idea?!" Larry says: "Come on! It's not like she would LITERALLY replace Tigress or ACT like her! It's just that winning challenges until we hit the team merge is our best bet for one of us to win! And if we have someone who can fill Tigress' shoes...if she ever WORE any; Sandy is our best bet to make that happen!" Otto asks: "And how come you don't consider ME qualified for that job?" Buhdeuce says: "Dude, have you ACTUALLY done ANYTHING this season for US to consider THAT?!" Otto says: "Maybe I WOULD if you ever CONSULTED me ONCE in a while!" Gerald says: "Maybe you haven't noticed, but we're NOT mind readers!" Otto scoffs and he says: "Obviously not, because you would've realized MY importance FAR before now!" Jenny says: "If you're really important, than DO something important! After all, a team is ONLY as strong as it's weakest link! And while you might have been VERY skilled by Total Cartoon Island standards, you seem to be very LACKING by THIS season's standards!" Otto says: "It's not MY fault this season isn't providing me with the opportunities to show off my skills!"

Buhdeuce says: "No one said it WAS! But look; even I've found a way to utilize my skills! Surely you have SOME skills you can use to help us win challenges! If so, show us! Because if you can't; I'm sorry, but I have to USE my Immunity Pendant of Life to eliminate you! Nothing personal, you understand!" Sandy says: "In any case, it's decided. I shall take Tigress' place as team leader, with Larry as my second-in-command!" Larry says: "Awesome! We get to compete in sports again!" Sandy says: "Just remember; this is PURELY a strategic alliance! Nothing more, and nothing less!" Larry says: "Don't worry! Total Cartoon Action is WAY old news! Besides, helping you would also help me; see how that works? As far as I'm concerned, this is a 'Win-Win' situation for both of us!" (Confessional) Otto says: "A 'Win-Win' situation, my FOOT!!!! How in the WORLD have I managed to maneuver myself into being the LOW man on the metaphorical Totem Pole? My skills once reigned SUPREME...but now, that Suzie WANTS me to be a family man, my skills have WASTED away to practically nothing! My cells SCREAM for adrenaline and action, and I don't care WHAT Sandy says; I'll PROVE to them that I'm WORTHY of GREATNESS one way or another!" / Sandy says: "Look, Tigress left a huge power vacuum in our team. And as such, I needed to make sure it was filled in a non-aggressive way. I couldn't just TAKE the position! I needed to ASK first! I'm glad that Pearl knows a good leader when she SEES one! I just hope I can prove myself worthy of this new post!" / Gerald says: "Let's face the facts; if Sandy can help us win tough challenges, that will DEFINITELY be cool!" /

Pearl says: "While I know a lot about being a potential business manager, AND keeping Patrick occupied with his new show, I'm not sure if I could handle being a leader the way Sandy can. She might have gotten sidelined early on Total Cartoon Action, but it looks like she and Larry have put aside their differences now. So hopefully, we'll still be able to win the challenges the way we HAVE been!" / Larry says: "It's...been a while since I've been in here. It's DEFINITELY a lot harder this season; or at least, it HAS been! With Tigress always dominating the challenges, it's been HARD for me to get any recognition for myself! Hopefully, as Sandy's second-in-command, I'll be in a much better position to make myself into a viable winner! I mean, winning a SECOND time isn't COMPLETELY out of the question!" / Buhdeuce says: "To be honest, I'm GLAD Sandy wanted to be our team's new leader! Even though I've proven myself to have skills, I think there's STILL some things I can learn, before I can call myself a REAL leader! I just hope that if the time ever comes, I'll be able to step up to the plate if needed." / Jenny rolls her eyes, and says: "Despite what SOME people think, there actually are SOME disadvantages to being a robot!" (End Confessional) It is morning. Sniz rings a gong, and over the loud-speakers, he says: "Attention Green Monkeys and Orange Iguanas! As a reminder, Dora was eliminated via ejection, and Tigress quit in the last episode! Please proceed to the Moat, to find out about today's challenge! That is all!" Stimpy says: "Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say!" Spongebob says: "I'm not sure if you're talking about Dora and/or Tigress. But Tigress? I actually hoped I would be able to test my skills against hers! Yet another dream that has gone down the drain for this season!"

Treeflower says: "Maybe you should be THANKFUL you never had to personally test yourself against Tigress! I mean, she knocked out THREE Temple Guards, Snaptrap, AND Kaput! And besides, I highly doubt she would've messed around with YOU, the way Master Coelaceanth did!" Marlene says: "And I'm SHOCKED that I AGREE with her!" Keswick says: "In any case, it's probably best to keep your head in the game, where it belongs! Even though Tigress is gone, there's still no telling what other surprises might be waiting in the wings for us in the future!" (Confessional) Spongebob says: "It's a mixed blessing, that this season has gone the way it has. On the one hand, Treeflower is probably RIGHT that it's probably for the best that Tigress is gone. Only...now I'll never know for SURE, if I could've prevailed against Tigress or not! I guess I'll just have to be content with winning as many challenges as I can. We've still got quite a ways to go, yet!" / Treeflower says: "It seems that my suspicions were correct! With Tigress gone, the camera people now HAVE to focus on the rest of us! I mean, they're NOT mind-readers either, you know! So, I suppose we'll find out very soon, just who is going to be the NEWEST contestant the camera people will want to focus on! And...I guess I'm a LITTLE biased in saying that I hope it will be me!" / Keswick says: "WOW! Treeflower actually ADMITTED she's a little biased! She's making PROGRESS!" / Marlene says: "You KNOW it's an unusual season, when I find myself actually AGREEING with Treeflower, of ALL contestants!" (End Confessional) The contestants suit up into their team colors, and head towards the Moat! Sniz says: "Welcome, contestants! To the first challenge WITHOUT Dora OR Tigress!" Daggett rolls his eyes, and says: "Thank you, Captain Obvious!" Super Chum says: "He's NOT Captain Obvious! I KNOW Captain Obvious! He's a member of my superhero team!"

Stimpy says: "Knowing you, I definitely don't doubt it!" Sniz says: "In any case, we hope the rest of the season will be relatively normal, with no WEIRD surprises!" Taotie says: "Don't worry! I exhausted MY supply of weird surprises the LAST time I tried to antagonize Tigress and Po! Besides, Po and I are on the same team now, so, it will be beneficial for us to work together!" And Po looks at Taotie in a SURPRISED manner! (Confessional) Po says: "The last time I tried to be friends with Taotie? It...didn't really work out so well. But now that Tigress is gone, I need to find myself to be in an alliance with, if I want to have any hope of making the team merge! And besides Kitty, Taotie is honestly my best bet of making it to the team merge! Besides, Taotie has managed to keep himself composed for THIS long, so I at least owe it to Taotie to actually GIVE him a chance to work with me! I think it would be good for BOTH of us!" / Taotie says: "It took a long time for me to learn, but I finally realized the truth. That if I really want to win a season of this show, the only way I can do so is to NOT do anything villainous, surprising as that might sound! I'm hoping that by BEHAVING the way that a good character does, it will help me behave that way NORMALLY! And by the time this season it's, I'll be a GOOD guy for real! And hopefully, maybe my son and ex-wife will like me BETTER for it!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "In any case, we hope that this 'TIME', you will have a good 'TIME'!" Chameleon asks: "Why are you emphasizing 'TIME' like that?" Bulma rolls her eyes, and she says: "If I HAD to guess, I'd say we're in for yet ANOTHER insipid, stupid, bland, and uninspired challenge that I could've solved in the third GRADE!!!!" Dog says: "Well everyone is NOT you, Bulma!" Bulma says: "Of course not! This challenge will PROBABLY be too MUCH for you!" (Confessional) Dog says: "I HATE it when my intelligence gets insulted like that!" / Bulma says: "Tigress and Dora were two of my biggest obstacles this season! And now that they're gone, that really leaves one loose end for me to wrap up; Zarbon! My best bet is to use Taotie's new willingness to work with Po! After all, those two are the only ones with the strength that will be needed to best Zarbon in a challenge! Once he's out of the way, it should be smooth sailing after that! I just have to make sure everything goes according to plan, and that there ARE no more upsets this season!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda says: "For YOUR information, the challenges I come up with, are NEVER insipid, bland, inane, or uninspired! This challenge might even prove to be a FUN challenge, if you LIKE that sort of thing!" Sniz says: "Right! Olmec, tell us what today's legend is!" Olmec says: "Today's legend, is the Legend of Pavlov's Bell!" Harvey looks at Dog, AND Dudley! Harvey asks: "Did he say...Pavlov's Bell?" Fee asks: "Do you already KNOW something about it?" Harvey says: "All I know for sure, is that Pavlov was famous for conducting experiments with dogs, by ringing a bell. I don't know the rest of the details; but seeing as how this season has been regularly testing the contestants one by one, and Dog and Dudley haven't REALLY been tested yet...they might, be in trouble!" Zarbon says: "Let's hope for your sake, that you're wrong! It would really be...upsetting for me, if I had to vote ONE of them off!"

(Confessional) Zarbon says: "Personally, I would rather NOT lose anymore members of my team! After all, votes will be VERY necessary to keep myself safe! However, rules ARE rules! And should we need to cast off any dead weight, I'll personally make sure that whoever is the LEAST helpful to us, gets the boot first!" / Harvey says: "I may only be 12, but even I know how important it is to listen to your intuition! I didn't listen to my intuition back during Total Cartoon Global Cruise, and Taotie took advantage of me! Thankfully, I'm older and smarter, now! Taotie won't get the drop on me a SECOND time!" / Fee says: "When it comes to the subject of general knowledge, I generally defer to Harvey, who's smarter than me, if ONLY because he's had more ACTUAL school learning experience than I have! Thankfully, what I lack in book smarts, I more than make up for with street smarts! Together, I know we'll be able to complement each other's skills very well!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "In any case, here is how you will have to cross the Moat today! You will swing across the moat on ropes! On each rope, there is a BELL! You must make sure to ring EACH bell, before swinging to the next rope! And if you fall, you'll have to start over! As usual, once all the contestants on each team finish crossing, you will ring your team's gong pedestal, to signify that you have finished crossing! Green Monkeys, you have two extra members over the Purple Parrots, and the other teams have one extra. Choose some members to sit out." Rube says: "Wally and I will sit this one out. We want to get some time to know each other a little better." Stimpy asks: "Really?!"

(Confessional) Stimpy says: "Wally and Rube, a potential item? I certainly didn't see THAT coming! And seeing how they're both nice guys, I hope THEIR relationship genuinely works out!" (End Confessional) Sandy asks: "Gerald, do you mind sitting this one out?" Gerald says: "Not really. I mean, I finally got my hair just the way I like it!" (Confessional) Sandy says: "I don't want to ASSUME anything! Before I decide anything, I'm going to make sure it's okay, if other contestants are going to be involved!" / Gerald says: "I'm DEFINITELY starting to like working with Sandy, BETTER than being ordered by Tigress!" / Bubble Bass says: "Harvey MIGHT have a point about Dog and Dudley! Trouble is; how do you DECIDE which one to sit out?! I mean, at least Dog actually WON a season of the Total Cartoon series; that's GOT to count for SOMETHING! I don't know, I had to pick SOMEONE!" (End Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Dudley, I think you better sit this one out." Chameleon says: "Don't worry, Dudley. I'll make sure to swing twice as fast for BOTH of us!" Dudley says: "Thanks, Chameleon!" Sniz says: "Okay! We're all ready to start swinging, and ringing those bells! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!"

And the contestants begin swinging! While the Green Monkeys and the Purple Parrots stay focused on swinging, and ringing every bell; Otto keeps swinging SO fast, he keeps MISSING the ropes, and having to start over, while Dog finds himself DISTRACTED by the sound of the bell, and can't HELP himself but to keep RINGING the bells over and over, while Dudley isn't affected at all! Eventually, the Green Monkeys and the Purple Parrots make their way across the Moat first, and ring their Gong Pedestals! Sniz says: "And our team line-ups are decided! This time, the Green Monkeys will be teamed up with the Purple Parrots! Therefore, the Red Jaguars and Orange Iguanas will be teamed up together by default!" Sandy scornfully looks at Otto, and she sarcastically says: "BRILLIANT idea YOU had, to swing fast! The goal was to RING every bell, not to complete the course the FASTEST! Do you know you're ALMOST as bad as Tigress in that regard?!" Otto scoffs, and says: "As bad as TIGRESS?! You WISH! And FINE! Being the fastest ISN'T always the best way to go; my bad! But I'll make SURE to help us dominate the challenge arena!" Gerald says: "For your sake, I sure hope you can!" Bubble Bass asks: "Dudley, how come YOU weren't affected by the ringing of the bell?" Dudley says: "Well, I AM a TUFF Secret Agent! I have to be disciplined, and not be distracted! That's why Chief and Keswick made me undergo Bell Resistance training! It took a few months, but I learned to NOT be distracted, by the ringing of a bell!" Bubble Bass says: "That's good to know! I'll make sure to keep that in mind for future challenges!" (Confessional) Dudley says: "Looks like the training paid off! Bubble Bass WANTS to keep me around! I sure hope Dog can save himself, though! His time as a contestant depends on it!" / Bubble Bass says: "I guess winning ISN'T always everything! Oh, well. Live and learn, as they say!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "We got to get everyone dried off, but don't go away, because we'll be back, with more Total Cartoon Legends!" / (Commercial Break) /

After the commercials end, the contestants are gathering at the Steps of Knowledge. Daggett turns to Bulma, and he asks: "Bulma, do you think it will be necessary for us to answer the questions on the Steps Of Knowledge this time?" Bulma says: "I would HARDLY think so! After all, I already HAVE the Immunity Pendant of Life, so the only team it would really be of any benefit, would be for the Orange Iguanas, since they're currently the only team without one." Taotie asks: "But what if it goes to someone we DON'T want it to go to, like Dog or Zarbon?" Bulma says: "Oh, don't worry yourself! The Steps Of Knowledge REQUIRE a certain level of intelligence! And as much as Zarbon would LIKE to get rid of me, he's actually SMART enough, to know that he's NOT that smart, and his Godly good looks are ALL he's got GOING for him! If the Orange Iguanas DO get it, Bubble Bass will probably be the most logical choice to get it, since he IS the smartest contestant that they've got! In any case, Bubble Bass isn't a concern to us...YET! Taotie, I suggest keeping your focus on Zarbon, and messing him up in anyway you can! I'm banking on his UTTER vanity and narcissism, to be his undoing!" Taotie chuckles, and he says: "Now you're talking my language!" (Confessional) Taotie says: "Now that Tigress is gone, I don't have to worry about HER beating me up whenever she has one of her 'Whims'. And me? I want Zarbon gone purely on principle! I need to prove to him, that MY brains are BETTER than his beauty! And while beauty is fleeting; under the right conditions, brains can last a life-time!" / Bulma chuckles, and she says: "It's so EASY to inspire Taotie to want to get RID of Zarbon for me! Luckily for me, he's ONLY as bright as he looks! It's a VERY easy plan! Taotie and Po get rid of Zarbon first; and when the team merge hits, they'll inevitably be put against each other! I'm banking on their skills to be so EVENLY matched, they'll take each other out! And without any muscles to threaten me, I'll be able to coast my way to the Goddess slot! I mean, it's where I BELONG!" (End Confessional)

Sandy turns to Otto, and she says: "You're NOT going to get in the way during the Steps of Knowledge, are you?" Otto asks: "Do I LOOK like an A student in history? Of course I'm not, and of course, I WON'T! I don't WILLINGLY step into challenges that aren't to my liking, if I can avoid them! Unlike SOME contestants, I know WHEN to not RUSH into things!" Gerald says: "Wow, he's smarter than I thought!" Pearl says: "He'd HAVE to be in order to get himself DRESSED in the morning!" And Otto scowls at her angrily! (Confessional) Otto says: "For being a so-called 'Athletic' team, we're surprisingly a LOT smarter than we SHOULD be, which is honestly kind of amazing in itself!" / Sandy says: "At least that's ONE less thing WE have to worry about!" / Pearl says: "Trust me, if there WAS a Winner-Takes-All Competition for Best 'I Really Don't CARE What I'm Wearing, So I Just Put On Whatever' Outfit; Otto would win Bronze, Silver, AND Gold by a LONG shot!" (End Confessional) Fee asks: "Harvey, are you going to want to volunteer for the Steps of Knowledge?" Harvey says: "Not really! Even though I'm a good student, I already know that there's no WAY I already KNOW everything about Pavlov's Bell; let alone, be able to RETAIN every bit of information that I hear! Bubble Bass, do you mind volunteering this time?" Bubble Bass says: "Of course not! Besides, winning would only benefit BOTH you, and me!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "It's actually kind of a blessing that Harvey nominated ME to volunteer for the Steps of Knowledge! After all, if I win, I'll receive an Immunity Pendant of Life, which will be QUITE useful to me! After all, Dog has shown that he's NOT the contestant that he USED to be, and I don't exactly trust him to NOT try to vote me off! It's nothing personal, but I'm afraid between the battle of season champs, I don't plan on going home BEFORE Dog does!" / Harvey says: "Hopefully, if there comes a challenge that I particularly know a lot about, I'll volunteer, and be able to show off MY intelligence! I mean, I kind of NEED to prove that I'm more than just a cute face! I just hope I get that opportunity sooner, as opposed to later!" (End Confessional)

Sniz finally arrives, and he says: "Okay, contestants! I'm HERE!...Why are Wally and Rube HUGGING each other?!" Spongebob asks: "And what's WRONG with THAT?! It's OBVIOUS that Wally LIKES Rube!" (Confessional) Spongebob says: "Sniz acts like he's never SEEN a guy, hugging another guy romantically!" (End Confessional) Sniz shouts: "Johnny!" Johnny Krill rushes in, and he says: "You called, Sniz?" Kitty says: "I thought Johnny Krill QUIT being a Temple Guard!" General Barracuda says: "No, only Snaptrap and Kaput quit being Temple Guards! Johnny was never beat up, so he stayed!" Larry says: "Nice to see that HE'S still hanging around!" Sniz asks: "What do you know about Wally liking Rube?" Johnny says: "Honestly, it's new to me! But I don't see any big deal about it! If Wally likes the Future Adult Rube, that's his thing. Just like my thing is picking a room to guard! It's not much of a thing, but it's better than nothing!" Sniz says: "Right. I suppose you better get to it, than." Johnny says: "Of course, Sniz." And Johnny goes into the Temple to pick a room to guard! Sniz says: "No one EVER seems to be able to answer my..." Than he notices everyone staring at him, and he says: "Sorry! Just...thinking out loud!" Keswick says: "VERY loud!" Sniz says: "In any case, it's time to find out more about the Legend of Pavlov's Bell! Olmec, please tell us everything!" General Barracuda says: "Start at the beginning!" Sniz says: "And when you come to the end, you stop! See how that works?" Marlene says: "Does Olmec REALLY need someone to tell him how to do his job?" Super Chum says: "Not really. It's mostly for the benefit of the viewing audience, since Sniz has no idea of being able to know, if someone NEW is watching this show or not!" Marlene says: "Good point!"

(Confessional) Marlene says: "Do you know what I've noticed about this season? It's that it seems like everyone on my team has got something going on for them EXCEPT for me; which I find ABSURD! I mean, I actually MADE the Final Three once! Surely I can be MORE interesting than, Super Chum! If there was a way to cut the fat from our team, Treeflower and Super Chum would be my top two picks! And it's not because I even thought Super Chum's show was TERRIBLE! It was 'So Okay, it's Average', at BEST!" / Super Chum says: "It's kind of disappointing! I really thought I would be more needed. But so far, the WORST enemies that all the villains have HAD this season, seem to be THEMSELVES! They've been so busy fighting amongst themselves, they've actually managed to take most of THEMSELVES out of the competition! Now, all that's left is Bulma and Taotie! I actually WISH Tigress were still here! At least SHE could actually challenge me to a one on one fight! It's HARD having to hold myself back for the sake of my friends!" (End Confessional)

Olmec says: "Very well! Ivan Petrovich Pavlov, the eldest of eleven children, was born on September 26, 1849, in the city of Ryazan, in the Russian Empire! Pavlov was a Russian physiologist known for his work in classical conditioning. Even as a child, he had 'The instinct for research'. Inspired by the progressive ideas of Dmitry Pisarev and Ivan Sechenov, Pavlov abandoned a religious career, and devoted his life to science! In 1870, Pavlov enrolled in the physics and mathematics department at the University of Saint Petersburg, to study Natural Science! He first gained recognition during his fourth year there, based on a research project, where he studied the physiology, of the nerves of the pancreas; which won him a prestigious University Award! In 1875, Pavlov completed his course with an outstanding record, and received the degree of Candidate of Natural Sciences! After completing his doctorate, Pavlov eventually went to Germany between 1884 to 1886. It is there, that Pavlov first became interested in working with dogs; initially, by studying their digestive system. In 1891, Pavlov was invited to the Institute of Experimental Medicine in St. Petersburg, to organize and direct the Department of Physiology! Over a 45 year period, under his direction, the institute became one of the most important physiological research centers in the world! During the years between 1897 to 1904, Pavlov performed his famous experiments with dogs, by analyzing their digestive glands. To perform this task, Pavlov carried around a Bell, which he would ring to signify to the dogs, that it was time to eat. By activating their saliva glands, Pavlov was able to analyze how saliva reacted, when it was exposed to food under different conditions! This work, eventually netted Pavlov the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine, in 1904! Pavlov was noteworthy, as being one of the first scientists to keep dogs alive and well, while he was researching them for conditioning; identifying the four main temperment types, of Phlegmatic, Choleric, Sanguine, and Melancholic! As a reminder of his good fortune, Pavlov carried his bell with him, until his dying day, February 27, 1936. His bell, however, was nowhere to be found! Eventually, the Bell found it's way to the Temple! Your job, is to retrieve Pavlov's Bell, and bring it back here!" Sniz says: "Thanks, Olmec! Where can Pavlov's Bell be found?"

Olmec says: "Pavlov's Bell can be found, in the Murky Swamp!" Sniz says: "All right! Here is how it's going to work! This time, I'm going to pick contestants at RANDOM to do the Steps of Knowledge! Make it a little bit more interesting! And Orange Iguanas? If you win the Steps of Knowledge, you'll receive an Immunity Pendant of Life! Otherwise, you'll have to try to find it during the challenge arena! Daggett and Taotie will go for the Purple Parrots! Wally and Rube will go for the Green Monkeys! Otto and Gerald will go for the Red Jaguars! And Bubble Bass and Dudley will go for the Orange Iguanas!" And Bubble Bass breathes a sigh of relief, while Otto just screams: "WHAT?!!!" (Confessional) Otto says: "I would LIKE to know, where EXACTLY in my contract it STATES that I can be randomly PICKED to do the Steps Of Knowledge?!" / Sniz says: "Paragraph 4, Sub-section B, Line 7, of this LEGALLY binding contract, clearly states that at any given time, a contestant can be randomly picked to do the Steps Of Knowledge, whenever the host feels like it. Signature, Otto Rocket!" / Bubble Bass says: "I definitely made the right move in allowing Wally and Rube a chance to love each other on their own! Karma is DEFINITELY on MY side today!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "All right, Olmec! Take it away!" Olmec asks: "When and where was Ivan Pavlov born?" Bubble Bass rings in, and he says: "September 26, 1849, in Ryazan in the Russian Empire!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And the Orange Iguanas move down a step! Gerald says: "Come ON, Otto, ring in!" Otto says: "I thought YOU had this! History isn't my favorite subject!" Gerald says: "But you're FASTER than I am! Just ring in; I'll answer!" Otto says to himself: "Muscle memory, PLEASE don't mess with me now!" Olmec asks: "As a child, what was Pavlov said to have?" Otto rings in, and Gerald says: "The instinct for Research!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And the Red Jaguars move down a step! Otto says: "SEE? I CAN be a good team-mate!" Jenny says: "One instance does NOT indicate a trend!" Olmec asks: "Who were the two men, who inspired Pavlov?" Bubble Bass rings in, and he says: "Dmitry Pisarev, and Ivan Sechenov!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And the Orange Iguanas move down a step! Gerald asks: "Why didn't you MOVE?!" Otto scoffs, and he says: "I wasn't even going to PRETEND I knew THAT answer!" Gerald says: "But I'M the one ANSWERING!" Otto groans, and he says: "OH; this is SO much more difficult than it SHOULD be!" Olmec asks: "At what university, did Pavlov enroll in?" Otto rings in, and Gerald says: "The University of Saint Petersburg, to study Natural Science!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And the Red Jaguars move down another step! Bubble Bass says: "Come on, Otto! Why are you BOTHERING to help Gerald? You can't even WIN an Immunity Pendant of Life! I thought History was BENEATH you!" Gerald says: "YOU stay OUT of this! Otto is doing this to PROVE that he can be a GOOD team-mate!" Otto asks: "Well, why should I HAVE to prove it? I mean, I once went to the Final Three on MY skills! If that's not good enough for you, than TOUGH! Have fun trying to answer on your own!" Olmec asks: "When and where did Pavlov first work with dogs?" Bubble Bass rings in, and he says: "Between 1884 to 1886 in Germany!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And the Orange Iguanas move down to the bottom!

Sniz says: "The Orange Iguanas did it! They receive an Immunity Pendant of Life!" Dudley says: "Well, Bubble Bass did all the work. I think it's only fair that he should get it." Sniz says: "Very well. Bubble Bass, the Immunity Pendant of Life is yours!" Bubble Bass says: "Thank you, Dudley. I will make sure to keep YOU around...for now!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Unlike the case with Danny Fenton last season, Dudley and I are on the same team, so it really makes no sense for me to vote him off unless he truly did bad at a challenge. Besides, of the two canines on our team, Dudley is DEFINITELY the more competent of the two, so it makes sense to keep him around for longer!" / Gerald face-palms himself, and he says: "Otto just HAD to be Otto! He just HAD to listen to Bubble Bass, and NOT be a team player! We lose the Challenge Arena, he is SO out of here!" / Otto says: "Honestly? I'd rather lose HONESTLY as myself, than have to sell out MY beliefs just to get to the Final Three again! Maybe some people WOULD call it 'Skewed Priorities', but at least I don't go back on them like SOME people do!" / Dudley says: "Letting Bubble Bass have the Immunity Pendant of Life was purely a strategic move! If our team loses the Challenge Arena, I need to ensure that I stay safe! And...I know that Dog wants to win to, but there's only so much I can do for him. And ultimately, he has to win or lose on his own. That's just the way these challenges go!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Okay, it's time for the challenge arena! Here's what we're going today! Since Pavlov used a bell, this challenge will revolve around bells! Specifically, trying to hit MOVING bells! Have you ever been to an amusement park, and played one of those carnival games where you had to shoot water at a moving target, in order to knock them down? Well, you'll be playing a similar game; only you'll be shooting water at the moving bells, in order to make them RING! In three minutes, the object of this challenge, will be to make the bells ring as MANY times as you can! We'll be keeping an electronic score tally, to verify how often you've scored! Oh, and you can ONLY use the water blaster to ring the bells! Any other methods to try to make the bells ring will NOT count, and will cause you to receive a Penalty Vote! At the end of this challenge, the two teams with the most points will get to do a Temple Run! AND, if they WIN the Temple Run, they will get a REWARD! That's RIGHT! Today's challenge is both a reward AND an Elimination Challenge! TWO for the price of ONE! The teams will nominate two of their own, to go on an all-expenses paid trip, to have an all you can eat lunch, at the KFC in Williams, Arizona! Why did the chicken cross the road? Definitely NOT to end up on THEIR menu!" Wally says: "Rube, we ought to try to win that! I mean, a trip and a lunch, would be the perfect opportunity to learn more about each other!" Rube says: "It makes sense to me! All right! Let's try and win it!" (Confessional) Wally says: "My mom once told me, that the best way to some guys' hearts, are through their stomachs! And seeing how Rube seems to be a healthy eater the way that his dad is, I'm guessing that will prove to be true for him, as well! Besides, we'll be going to a KFC! There's no CHANCE of there being any FISH related items on the menu, there! I'd like to avoid any AWKWARD moments like that whenever possible!" / Rube says: "While there are PLENTY of fancier places you can eat at, a KFC would be a PRETTY safe bet, for someone like ME to eat at! No one is likely to be EYEING you to end up on the menu!" / Jenny says: "Do they expect ME to break MY metallic butt, for a reward that I can't even enjoy, because I obviously can't EAT?! HARD pass!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Before we start, Green Monkeys need to sit two of their own out. Red Jaguars and Orange Iguanas will each need to sit one out." Jenny says: "I'm sitting this one out; the reward would be absolutely useless and meaningless to me!" Zarbon says: "Bubble Bass, we better NOT take any chances!" Bubble Bass says: "Right! Dog, I'm sorry, but we have to sit you out!" Dog says: "But I want to help!" Chameleon says: "I know; but you got too distracted ringing the bells in the LAST challenge! You might be tempted to ring the bells in ways that you're NOT allowed to!" Fee says: "Bottom line is, you can help us BEST by sitting this one out! After all, if we DON'T make enough points ringing the bells the RIGHT way, we'll lose ANYWAYS!" Dog sighs, and says: "Oh, all right!" (Confessional) Dog says: "I'm starting to wonder if perhaps, I'm a direct descendant of one of the dogs that Pavlov worked with? I mean, it would explain my inexplicable urge to want to RING bells!" / Bubble Bass says: "Dog is eager, but he doesn't exactly have any impulse control! Therefore, if he sits this one out, he has no REASON to interact with the bells! BUT; just to be on the safe side..." (End Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Just as an ADDED precaution, I'm going to make you some BUBBLE ear-muffs, Dog!" And Bubble Bass creates a pair of Bubble Ear-Muffs, and places it over Dog! From Dog's perspective, he can SEE Bubble Bass shouting something, but he CAN'T hear it! Dog yells: "WHAT?! I can't HEAR you!" And Bubble Bass holds two thumbs up, indicating that this is a GOOD thing! Treeflower says: "I'm not going to PRETEND that I really WANT this reward! I'd rather save my energy for a much BETTER one!" Keswick says: "And quite frankly, I'm with you! I'm also not a good shot, so it's probably for the best!" Sniz says: "All right! For the Temple Run and Immunity Safety, let's put three minutes on the clock! And for added fun, we're bring back a relic from 1990, Tiffany's song, 'You And Me'! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" / During the montage, Otto tries firing as fast as he can, but he keeps misjudging the speed of the bells, and ends up not HITTING most of them, while Harvey and Fee turn out to have little to no experience with a game of this nature, and miss MOST of their shots purely because of that! /

(Instrumental Intro) Tiffany sings: "Gimme one reason why you look so sad. A heart like yours wasn't made for that! Gimme your hand, I'll pull you through! Gimme some time and I swear to you every night; I'll be so close every night! Hey, don't you know? You and me, were made to be in love! Don't let them tear us apart! You and me, were made for love! Baby, you know it's a matter of fact; I can't stand by when you feel like that! Baby, you know, when it comes to love; I got time, and that's time enough! Every night, I'll be so close! Every night! Hey, don't you know? You and me, were made to be in love! Don't let them tear us apart! You and me! You're all I ever need! Look in my eyes, can't you see? You and me were made for love! You can lock your door, you can live alone! You can dim your lights, disconnect the phone! You can run, but you will live in a lie! You and me were made to be in love! You and me, were made to be in love! Don't let them tear us apart! You and me! You're all I ever need! Look in my eyes can't you see? You and me, were made to be in love! Don't let them tear us apart! You and me! You're all I ever need! Look in my eyes, can't you see? You and me, were made to be in love! Don't let them tear us apart! You and me, you're all I ever need!" / And the song and montage ends as time runs out! Sniz says: "Okay! The challenge is over! Time to find out our final score! The Green Monkeys and Purple Parrots collectively scored...100 points! The Red Jaguars and Orange Iguanas scored...57 points. The Green Monkeys and Purple Parrots will be doing a Temple Run! Red Jaguars and Purple Parrots, your fates will be decided very soon! Now, we have to figure out, who will be doing the Temple Run?" Po says: "I'll go first! I need to do it for Tigress! And don't worry! I'll do it by the book!" Wally says: "And I'll go second! I want to win this for Rube!" Rube says: "I know you'll do GREAT!" Sniz says: "All right! Listen, as Olmec tells us how to get through the Temple, Map will provide a Map to keep track of your current location within!" Map says: "On it right now!" As Olmec narrates, Map's visual information fills in!

Olmec says: "First, run into the Mummy's Crypt, and pull on the right tablet, but beware of a Temple Guard! Next, go onto the ledge, and swing on the rope to knock down the column! Next, climb up into the Lost Library! Open up the right book, and climb down, into the Room of Fallen Columns! Push down on the right column, and go into the Hall of Armor! Place yourself into the right suit of armor, and you'll go into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey! Assemble the Monkey in the correct order, and go into the Emperor's Chamber! Smash the clay pots, to find the key to go down the Devil's Slide! At the bottom of the Mine Shaft, break through the Stone Wall, to enter the Murky Swamp, where you can find Pavlov's Bell! Pull on the correct tree branch, and head into the Pharaoh's Tomb! Find the right key, and enter the Room of Paintings! Align yourself with the right painting, than, head back through the Pit, up the Ledges, and back to the Temple Entrance! Wally, if you are successful, you and a guess of your choice will get the reward for the all-expenses paid trip to the KFC in Williams, Arizona! The choices are yours, and yours alone! Good luck!" Sniz says: "All right! Map will be keeping track of your progress so you don't get lost! Let's put three minutes on the clock! All right, Po; on your mark, get set, GO!!!!" Po takes off, and Sniz narrates the action as he goes along!

Sniz says: "Po is in the Mummy's Crypt, and a Temple Guard right off the bat! He gives up his pendant, and he's pulled on the right tablet! Across the Ledge, he's swinging on the rope, and he's knocked down the column! Up he climbs, and now, he's going into the Lost Library! He's found the right book! Down he goes, into the room of Fallen Columns! He pushes on a column, he's found a short-cut from the Ledge! Now he's found the right column! Into the Hall of Armor! Oh! A Temple Guard was possessing one of them! Go, Wally, go! He's making up good time, through the Mummy's Crypt, across the Ledge, through the short-cut Po found into the Room of Fallen Columns! He's in the Hall of Armor, and he's found the right suit of Armor! Into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey, and Johnny Krill appears as a Temple Guard! He gives up his Pendant! And he's now assembling the Silver Monkey...WOW; he's quick! He's done it! Into the Emperor's Chamber, to smash the clay pots! He's found the key! Down he slides into the mine-shaft! He's broken through the Stone Wall into the Murky Swamp! He's got the Bell! All the doors are open! Through the Pharaoh's Tomb! Through the Room of Paintings! Through the Pit, and up through the Ledges! He's back out! He's made it with 15 seconds to spare! Wally, you and a guest of your choice will be going on an all expenses paid trip to an all-you can eat lunch at the KFC in Williams, Arizona!" Wally says: "It's got to be Rube! Rube is my pick; definitely Rube!" Sniz says: "Rube, do you accept?" Rube says: "It would be my honor, AND my pleasure!" Sniz says: "All right, you two enjoy yourselves, and we'll see you at the next challenge! Red Jaguars and Orange Iguanas; what can I say? Not a good day to be any of you! Get freshened up, and think about which two contestants you're going to vote off at tonight's Elimination Ceremony!"

(Confessional) Sandy says: "Otto has proven he is TOO arrogant, too cocky, and too full of himself to work well with ANYONE! It's no contest! The rest of MY team is voting off Otto, TONIGHT!" / Gerald says: "Look; I'm not going to PRETEND that I'm NOT worried, because I am! After all, with Otto gone, Bulma and I will be the only NORMAL humans left in this competition! But; if it's between me and Otto, than Otto has to go!" / Pearl says: "Otto, you could've been a BIG help to us! But instead, you just HAD to satisfy your own ego!" / Larry says: "They always say that pride always goes BEFORE the fall! I just hope Otto's pride has fallen PRETTY hard, right about now!" / Buhdeuce says: "It's kind of sad, that I managed to perform BETTER than someone who ONCE made the Final Three! But regardless of how I feel, I have to protect myself! And voting off Otto is the best move we can make right now!" / Jenny says: "The most logical move we can make, is to vote off both Otto and Dog! With the way they've been performing, they'll just drag BOTH of our teams down if we keep them on! It's just the hard facts!" / Harvey and Fee are together. Harvey says: "Fee, I feel awful about failing the challenge arena!" Fee says: "Hey! Bubble Bass is a reasonable guy! I'm sure he will give us a pass! I mean, we faced a challenge with which we had no real experience to speak of. He's not going to vote us off for that! I know it's not ideal, but we'll have to vote off Otto and Dog if we want to keep ourselves safe!" Harvey nods, and he says: "Right! It's the best move WE can make! Sorry Dog, nothing personal; NOT sorry, Otto!" / Dudley sighs, and he says: "I hoped it wouldn't have to come to this. But Dog wants to keep himself safe, and logically, he'll try to vote me off. So, voting HIM off in self-defense? That just makes the most common SENSE to me!" / Zarbon scoffs, and he says: "Wasting MY time, being distracted by bells? Not being a valuable team player? Bye-bye, Dog, and Otto! Nothing personal...MUCH!!!!" / Bubble Bass says: "If there's one important thing that I've learned, is to NEVER take Karma for granted! After all, a gift is ONLY good if you make use of it! And using my Immunity Pendant of Life? I ensure that I keep myself safe, regardless of what happens!" / Chameleon says: "Normally, I'd say it was all over except the shouting! But the way this season has gone so far? I think it's better to just wait and see!" (End Confessional)

The Red Jaguars and the Orange Iguanas are at the Elimination Ceremony! Sniz says: "Red Jaguars and the Orange Iguanas; it seems that at least some of you are in quite a predicament! Dog, you got distracted by ringing the bells in the first challenge, and Otto kept going too fast, which COST your teams the win in the Moat challenge! Otto, you let Bubble Bass talk you OUT of being a Team Player in the Steps Of Knowledge challenge, costing your team a Pendant of Life, and a chance at the Temple Run! Harvey and Fee, your inexperience didn't help you much in the challenge arena, and Otto's inability to successfully gauge the speed of the bells, cost his team a chance at the Temple Run, and his chance for immunity!" Otto says: "You said MY name THREE times!" Sniz says: "Well, you DID make three mistakes!" And Johnny Krill plays a rim-shot! Sniz says: "In any case, the time has come to cast your votes! Just remember, there are a couple of contestants who HAVE Immunity Pendants, which they might feel like playing! With that being said, VOTE!!!!" And most of the contestants make their choices rather quickly! Sniz says: "Voting is over, so it's time--." Bubble Bass says: "HOLD it! I don't TRUST Otto as far as I could throw him! I'm playing this Immunity Pendant, on myself!" And Otto SNAPS his fingers in frustration! Sniz says: "The Immunity Pendant is real, that means all votes cast for Bubble Bass will not count. Now--." Buhdeuce says: "Hold it! I ALSO don't trust Otto as far as I could throw him! I'm playing MY Immunity Pendant on myself!" And Otto GROANS in ANGER!!!! Sniz says: "This Immunity Pendant is real, that means all votes cast for Buhdeuce will NOT count! Now, it's time to reveal who is safe! Sandy, Pearl, Larry, Harvey, obviously, Buhdeuce! Dudley, Zarbon, Chameleon, Fee! Jenny, and obviously, Bubble Bass!" It is now down to Gerald, Otto, and Dog! Sniz says: "Contestants, this IS the final Chocolate Pendant of Life!" Gerald crosses his fingers, and closes his eyes! Otto just glares angrily, and Dog pants nervously, due to being unable to SWEAT! Sniz says: "Gerald!" Gerald says: "COOL! I mean, I'm SO, sorry Dog!" Otto says: "Isn't anyone sorry to see me gone? I mean, HELLO! With Tigress gone, I was your BEST chance for ANY of you to make it to the Final Three!"

Sandy asks: "With YOUR normal set of HUMAN skills? PLEASE! Those talents were SO three seasons ago! You got to keep up with the times!" Otto says: "My SISTER won a season of the Total Cartoon series!" Pearl says: "THAT was your SISTER! You are NOT your sister! She EARNED it; YOU didn't!" Larry says: "I'd say that I felt more SAD about you leaving...but that would be a lie! Dog, I WILL miss YOU, though!" Harvey says: "Exactly! Dog, I just want you to know that it was NOTHING personal, when Fee and I decided to vote you off." Dog sighs, and he says: "It's okay. It's understandable." Otto says: "Isn't ANYONE sad to see ME leave?!" Zarbon scoffs, and he says: "See you, wouldn't want to BE you!" Buhdeuce says: "And word of advice? Don't let the DOOR hit you on the way--." Otto says: "Okay, FINE! I'm leaving! At least DOG has to come WITH me!" Dog puts on a safety helmet, while Otto is already wearing one, and they strap themselves in! Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Than 3, 2, 1, BLAST-OFF!!!!" And Otto and Dog rocket down the rails and through the portal in the Mine Shaft of Losers! Sniz says: "And just like that, two more losers are out of here! And one of them, a former champ! This competition is REALLY starting to get serious! Will the Red Jaguars have more team unity from here on out? Can ANYONE put a dent in the numbers that the Green Monkeys currently have? And are the Purple Parrots, poised for a come-back? Find out the answers to these questions and more, on the next episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for THEE!!!!" /

Stinger: Wally and Rube are at the KFC in Williams, Arizona, and they are enjoying all the chicken-related items that they want for lunch! Wally says: "You know, Rube; I've been to a LOT of restaurants...and I mean, a LOT of restaurants across the universe! But Earth's restaurants ALWAYS seem to be the best, as far as restaurants go!" Rube says: "It's true! In the future, people will discover that the reason WHY Earth IS a significant planet, is because it's the BEST planet for food ANYWHERE in the universe! And since another planet has YET to come forth to argue with that claim, I can safely state THAT statement...safely!" Wally gets a weird look, and he says: "You know, I just got the FUNNIEST feeling that SOMEONE is about to DROP in on us!!!!" (CRASH!!!!) And who should DROP through a mine-cart shaped hole in KFC, except Otto and Dog?! Wally asks: "Well, what ARE the CHANCES?!!!" Rube says: "For this? Actually, 2 to 1; and usually, you'd have to pay EXTRA for that!" Dog asks: "What are YOU two doing here?!" Wally says: "We were HAVING a relatively nice LUNCH reward here! What are YOU doing here?" Otto says: "We got ELIMINATED and got DUMPED here! That's what happened!" Gordon Quid comes out, and screams: "AHHH!!!! There's a HOLE in the roof of MY restaurant! Who will PAY for it?!!!" Rube looks at Otto, and gets an idea! Rube says: "Otto, how do YOU feel about putting YOUR extreme skills to good USE for once, and help Gordon raise the money, to help fix his roof?" Otto excitedly says: "I thought you would NEVER ask! If it's extreme sports, I'm the RIGHT guy for the job!" /

Episode Notes: Wally discovers that he is romantically in love with Future Adult Rube Goldfish, and they start dating in this episode. Featured songs in this episode; Culture Club's "Time" (performed by Wally), and Tiffany's "You And Me". Otto Rocket and Dog are eliminated in this episode, and Dog becomes the first former champ to be eliminated in this season! Eliminated Contestants: 46. Kowalski. 45. Private. 44. Kaput. 43. Johnny Krill. 42. Haggis McHaggis. 41. Monster Krumholtz. 40. Aang. 39. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 38. Darwin. 37. Heffer Wolfe. 36. Judy Funny. 35. Sway-Sway. 34. Invader Zim. 33. Gonard. 32. Blonda. 31. Squidward Tentacles. 30. Dora the Explorer. 29. Tigress. 28. Otto Rocket. 27. Dog. Remaining Contestants: Daggett Beaver, Purple Parrots. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Kitty Katswell, Purple Parrots. Harvey Beaks, Orange Iguanas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Taotie, Purple Parrots. Po, Purple Parrots. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Orange Iguanas. Zarbon, Orange Iguanas. Bulma Briefs, Purple Parrots. Chameleon, Orange Iguanas. Fee, Orange Iguanas. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Orange Iguanas. Yakety Yak, Purple Parrots. (Future Adult) Rube Goldfish, Green Monkeys. /

Personal Notes: Seeing as how we're getting close to the half-way point (in terms of contestants), I'm trying to manage the viable contestants as best as I can. The reason that I picked the contestants that I did? I thought that out of all the contestants this show has had, they would be the best in terms for coming up with story possibilities that would play to their strengths. Of couse, even though that was the plan, sometimes; it doesn't always pan out that way. Otto Rocket and Dog, once two of the strongest contestants in terms of story-writing possibilities in seasons one and two respectively, found themselves lacking a real good story-line for this season! Otto's egotism, and inability to accept that his skills were no longer unique the way they were in season one; and Dog's inability to stay focused on the challenge at hand, are what ended up making them the contestants who got sent through the Mine Shaft this time. It's anyone's guess as to who will be eliminated next time; and I'll make sure to make the episode be as good as I can possibly make it! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

I got another long episode to re-run, so I'll just get right into it! / Sniz is standing in front of the Moat, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Legends, bells were ringing! Both the bells of romance, and the bells for a challenge! Wally discovered that he was in love with Future Adult Rube Goldfish! Not wanting to jeopardize his friendship with Bubble Bass, Wally ran the information past him first! Thankfully, Bubble Bass turned out to be very reasonable, in allowing Wally to pursue a relationship with the Future Rube. Meanwhile, Otto and Dog both had problems during the challenge revolving around the Legend of Pavlov's Bell. Dog couldn't resist ringing the bells during the last Moat challenge, and Otto's sense of egotism and pride, prevented him from doing any meaningful work with the Red Jaguars! In the end, it was Otto and Dog who ended up, going through the Mine Cart of Shame, while Wally and Rube got to share a very nice meal reward, due to Wally winning the Temple Run! Now, we are down to 26 contestants, and we're almost at the half-way point, in terms of contestants! Are the Purple Parrots poised for a comeback? Will the Green Monkeys finally taste defeat AGAIN for the first time in quite a while? And has Zarbon's sense of self-worth finally run it's course? Find out the answers to these questions, on a very nautical-themed adventure, of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "Chart a course for this adventure!" /

Instead of the normal show opening, we see Pearl dreaming, that she and Bubble Bass are doing their own version, and own take, on the mega-famous song "Part Of Your World". / Pearl sings: "Look at this stuff, isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collection's complete? Wouldn't you think I'm the girl; the girl who has everything?! Look at this trove! Treasures untold; how many wonders can one cavern hold? Looking around here, you'd think; sure, she's got everything! I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty! I've got whozits and whatzits galore! You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty! But who cares? No big deal; I want more! I wanna be, where the people are. I wanna see, wanna see them dancing! Walking around on those...what do you call them? Oh, feet! (Bubble Bass laughs) Flipping your fins, you don't get too far. Legs are required for jumping, dancing! Strolling along down a...what's that word again? Street! Up where they walk, up where they run! Up where they stay all day in the sun! Wandering free! Wish I could be part of that world! What would I give, if I could live out of these waters? What would I pay, to spend a day warm on the sand? Betcha on land, they understand. Bet they don't reprimand their daughters. Bright young women, sick of swimming! Ready to stand! And ready to know what the people know! Ask them my questions, and get some answers! What's a fire and why does it...what's the word? Burn! When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love; love to explore the shore up above?! Out of the sea. Wish I could be, part of that world!" / And the musical song and dream ends. / "The Legend of Blackbeard's Jolly Roger Flag!" /

Pearl wakes up from her dream, and she says: "Man, I haven't had that dream in a LONG time! I wonder why NOW, though? Is that dream trying to tell me something?" (Confessional) Pearl says: "Even though Bubble Bass and I are half-brothers, we haven't really hung out that much! Of course, we haven't had much reason or ability to do so. This season has done a good job of making sure we've been separated by our teams, and our team dynamics! But I think what that dream was trying to tell me, was that the best chance for me to win this season, is to team up with Bubble Bass, in order to get to the Final Three! I mean, it's certainly WORTH a shot!" (End Confessional) It's still night time, and Pearl knocks on Bubble Bass' trailer door, and Pearl says: "Bubble Bass, are you there?! It's me, your half-sister Pearl!" Bubble Bass groans, and he says: "Can't I go through one night without SOMEONE waking me up?!" Bubble Bass opens the door, but he looks FAR more asleep than he does awake! Pearl says: "Sheesh! You look like DEATH twice warmed over! Which would be death warmed over...warmed over!" Bubble Bass says: "I feel like it, to! If you EVER want to have a night where you can look forward to getting less than four STRAIGHT hours of sleep at a stretch, have a baby; it's SUPER fun!...No offense to Infant Rube!" Pearl says: "Oh, there's no WAY I'm having a baby with PATRICK; we discussed it! If we ever have a child, we'll ADOPT! There's no WAY I'm going to allow Patrick's genetic disposition for stupidity carry for ANOTHER generation!" Bubble Bass says: "Good for you, because merely READING and HEARING about what to expect, does very little to actually PREPARE for what actually happens! I wish there was SOMEONE who could help me!" Pearl thinks about it, and she says: "Maybe I can! I mean, I do want YOU to do a favor for ME; so maybe in return, I can do a favor for YOU!"

Bubble Bass perks up, and he says: "You've got my attention; I'm listening!" Pearl says: "You want to get more sleep; and I'd like to get to the Final Three! I propose that we help each other, as siblings in arms!" Bubble Bass says: "HALF siblings in arms!" Pearl says: "Still counts! In any case, I'll help YOU attend to the many needs of Infant Rube, if YOU give me advice and strategies to get to the Final Three!" Bubble Bass asks: "Do you honestly NEED my help? I mean, if you are capable of taking care of Patrick, you're a LOT smarter than you give yourself credit for!" Pearl says: "Come on! It's not the SAME situation that Dora had with Map; you're an ACTUAL contestant! And there's NOTHING in the rules that specifically prohibit YOU from helping me, ESPECIALLY if I help YOU, in return!" Bubble Bass says: "Very true! All right, we have a deal! I'll start helping YOU tomorrow, and you start helping ME tonight!" Pearl says: "What do you want me to help you with?" Bubble Bass says: "Taking care of Infant Rube's needs, by waking up whenever HE wakes up, feeding him, AND...potentially changing his diapers and cleaning him up!" Pearl says: "But I don't know how to do any of that stuff!" Bubble Bass says: "Good thing for you that Blonda does! She left step by step instructions; you couldn't POSSIBLY get it wrong! I know, I've TRIED!" Pearl says: "Obviously, not very hard!" Bubble Bass says: "Of course not; can't really AFFORD to get it wrong, can I?" Pearl sighs, and she says: "Well, no one ever said getting to the Final Three would be easy! I'll...take the job! A good night's sleep would do WONDERS for your complexion...no offense!" Bubble Bass questioningly says: "None taken? In any case, I'll be counting on YOU to help keep Infant Rube safe!" Pearl says: "Can do, Bubble Bass!"

(Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "YES!!!! Good night's sleep, here I COME!!!!" / Pearl says: "As far as I'm concerned, babysitting is kind of like going off the High Dive. If you don't do it quick and just get it over with, you're never GOING to want to do it! Besides, if I help Bubble Bass take care of Infant Rube, it will help us bond as siblings! Not to mention, make family re-unions a whole lot more fun! Besides, it will be worth it, to help Rube grow up to be the nice man that he WILL be, in the future...and technically, here!" (End Confessional) Meanwhile, at the trailers for the Purple Parrots, Daggett has called for a meeting for all the remaining Purple Parrots! Bulma yawns, and she says: "Any idea WHY Daggett wanted to wake us all up at 4:30 A.M. in the morning?" Kitty asks: "What's wrong, Bulma? Wake up on the wrong side of the litter box?!" Bulma says: "EVEN a VERY great beauty needs her BEAUTY sleep!" Taotie laughs, and he says: "Beauty sleep? You'd have to sleep for like a MONTH to improve on THAT beauty!" Yakety groans, and he says: "You are SUCH a TYPICAL warthog!" Taotie says: "And PROUD of it!" Po says: "Can we just not fight, and listen to what Daggett has to say?" Daggett says: "Thank you! Now, it seems like it's once again up to ME, to be the voice of reason that NOBODY seems to listen to..." Kitty says: "I do!" Daggett says: "And I thank you for that! The point is, we are down TWO members, and the Green Monkeys haven't seen their numbers reduced since the forced Team 'Shuffle'! They HAVE to be our next target!" Taotie says: "No objections from me. Except for Treeflower, I can't think of anyone on their team that I would WANT to keep around, and ONLY because she'd be the PERFECT patsy to take to a Final Three where NOBODY would vote for HER to win!" Bulma says: "THANK you! Someone ELSE gets it!" Yakety says: "The question is, who do you want to target?"

Daggett says: "A BIG target, Yakety! Unless we can get RID of their strongest link, we won't be ABLE to get rid of anyone ELSE on their team! We NEED to target Super Chum!" Kitty asks: "Are you crazy?! I'm not wasting one of MY nine lives to try to get rid of Super Chum!" Taotie says: "I already HAVE enough bad memories of getting beaten by good guys as it is! I don't need to add ANOTHER Super Chum beating to my list of a THOUSAND bad memories!" Po asks: "And besides; what has Super Chum ever done to us?" Daggett says: "Nothing yet, and that's the POINT! He's been TOO quiet! I mean, doesn't it seem weird how he hasn't really done ANYTHING this season?" Yakety says: "To be fair, it's pretty hard for him to do so. I mean, he NEEDS to control his super strength, lest he break something!" Daggett says: "Which is why we're going to need one of our OWN to make a BIG sacrifice of safety and comfort; they will have to MAKE Super Chum forget to CONTROL his super strength, by making him ANGRY, so that he'll BREAK stuff and FORCE Penalty Votes and/or an elimination via ejection for him!" Daggett pauses, and he says: "NOT IT!!!!" And everyone except Taotie says: "NOT IT!!!!" Taotie groans, and he sarcastically says: "Fine, I'll do it, like I ALWAYS do for Bulma!" Bulma genuinely says: "THANK YOU!!!!" Taotie yells: "That WASN'T a compliment!" Bulma says: "I'll still take it as one!" Taotie says: "Somehow, I figured YOU would! What exactly IS the plan, anyways?" Daggett says: "Simple! Just PRETEND you've fallen off the band wagon for being good, and are back to concocting evil PLOTS again; WHICH shouldn't be TOO much of a threat for you! Super Chum will lose his patience and end up BREAKING things, and THAT will lead to his ELIMINATION!" Taotie says: "If I don't end up eliminated via Med Evac first!" Yakety says: "Oh, you've bounced back from FAR worse!" Taotie says: "Doesn't mean that I have to like DOING it, though!" Po says: "Hey! If you do this for us, you'll be all right in my books!" Taotie actually smiles, and he says: "That's all the motivation that I need to go through with this!"

(Confessional) Taotie says: "I've got to hand it to Daggett! Never saw HIM as a guy for coming up with BOLD, DARING ideas! But than again, this season has already HAD it's fair share of weird events! And while I could LIVE without pretending to be evil, Daggett is probably right that it is the ONLY way to get RID of Super Chum! And if I can get Zarbon CAUGHT in the cross-hairs, it would only be an extra BONUS from MY perspective! It's time for Operation MAKE Super Chum HATE!" / Daggett asks: "Is it really too MUCH for me to ASK this season, that I can just RELAX and take it EASY?!!! Apparently, it IS, because I keep having to step UP to the plate, and keep the rest of MY team in line! And despite BEING a token good team-mate, Kitty seems to be of the persuasion that she's 'Brilliant, But Lazy'. She never wants to get IN on actually coming UP with the plans like I do, so I have to do all the work! At the rate I'M going, I'll become Norbert LITE before TOO long!" / Bulma says: "Honestly, I WOULD come up with plans that would help my team ELIMINATE contestants! But with the exception of Yakety Yak, they've made it QUITE clear to me that they're not INTERESTED in hearing from me! I mean, I can't HELP them if they WON'T listen, and I'm NOT going to FORCE them to! If they WANT my help, they'll have to ASK for it! I mean, they've GOT to do it SOONER or later; RIGHT?!" / Yakety says: "Look; Taotie is the only ONE of us who could POSSIBLY survive a thrashing from Super Chum! Because no matter what anyone has THROWN at him, he bounces back like the 'Iron Woobie' that he seems to be! You actually kind of have to admire him for that!" / Kitty says: "To be honest, this season hasn't been as exciting as I thought it would be. There's been no espionage missions, and hardly any chance for me to interact with Dudley, Keswick, or even Chameleon! I mean, you KNOW that I have to be DESPERATE to talk to someone if I'm WILLING to talk to Chameleon! It's just that I honestly can't see eye to eye with anyone ELSE on my team! Except for Po, they're all SOME degree of CRAZY!" / Po says: "Trust me! The next time a reward challenge comes around, I will DEFINITELY nominate Taotie to get it!" (End Confessional)

It is morning. Sniz rings the gong, and talks over the loud-speakers! Sniz says: "Attention Green Monkeys and Purple Parrots! Otto and Dog were eliminated at the last Elimination Ceremony! Please proceed to the Moat, to learn about today's challenge! That is all!" Spongebob says: "WOW! Dog, a former CHAMPION, has already been eliminated? I didn't think it would happen so SOON!" Sandy says: "Well, it did! And as far as Otto is concerned, he got what HE deserved! I wouldn't bother thinking about it anymore!" Gerald says: "Look, none of us WANTED to vote Dog off, but he WAS the weakest contestant during the last challenge!" Marlene says: "And the fact of the matter is, it's only going to get a LOT tougher from here on out, especially since the picks for contestants we DON'T like and WANT to get rid of, get increasingly slim!" Spongebob says: "I know. Still doesn't make it any easier to do it, though." Larry says: "Trust me, it NEVER gets any easier! You just become numb to it, after a while!"

(Confessional) Spongebob says: "When Dog co-won Total Cartoon Action, that is when I truly knew, that it WAS possible for ME to win a season of this show! I hoped that eventually, I would be able to team up with Dog himself, and have him teach me everything he knows! But now, that dream has gone down the drain as well! It seems a lot of dreams have been taken away from me before I can enact on them! But if there's one dream I refuse to let ANYONE take away from me, is the dream that I can make it ALL the way to the Final Three, and I can do it WITHOUT abandoning any of my core principles!" / Sandy says: "Personally, I hope that Spongebob can keep his vow to himself. BUT; he's bound to run into an UNLIKABLE situation sooner or later! I just hope he can be prepared for it when the time comes!" / Marlene says: "Most of us who are left? We really LIKE Spongebob, and we WANT him to do well! So far, he's done a pretty good job! But the thing about doing a good job, is that you can never lose sight of what you REALLY want! And if Spongebob has to choose between WINNING, and not abandoning his core principles, I honestly don't SEE any scenario where Spongebob WON'T choose staying true to his core principles! And there's only so much we can do for him! If it comes down to keeping Spongebob on, or voting him off if he becomes a liability, than we'll have to cut him loose for the good of the team! The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the FEW! Or the one!" / Larry sighs, and he says: "The truth of the matter is, I'm probably sadder than anybody that Dog is gone. I mean, we BOTH won Total Cartoon Action together! I always knew that as long as Dog was around, that I was still safe! But now that he's gone, it means I've become just as vulnerable as everyone else is, in terms of getting eliminated! My best plan for getting to the Team Merge now, falls on being a loyal member of Sandy's alliance, and proving myself to be a valuable team meber! And hopefully, I'll get one last chance to have a competition against Spongebob, and find out his TRUE potential when it comes to winning!" (End Confessional)

The contestants suit up into their team colors, and run to the Moat! But they're surprised to see General Barracuda dressed up traditional Pirate garb, and blowing an old-fashioned boat whistle! General Barracuda says: "THAR SHE BLOWS!!!!" And Johnny Krill sails in on a pirate ship, and to the tune of the "1812 Overture", fires off the Ship's cannons to the tune of the instrumental song! Treeflower says: "SHEESH! A little 'Overkill', much?" Sniz says: "Nothing's overkill for OUR show when it comes to ratings! Thanks for sailing the ship, by the way, Johnny!" Johnny says: "Anything to help this show stay on track...or on course, as the case may be!" General Barracuda chuckles, and he says: "That's right! Because this challenge is bound to SHIVER YE TIMBERS!" Stimpy looks puzzled, and he asks: "Was THAT even ENGLISH?!" Keswick says: "Of COURSE it was English! Highly BROKEN, kind of OLD English, but English, all the same!" Buhdeuce asks: "What language did you THINK he was talking in; whatever language Somalia speaks?!" Stimpy blushes, and he says: "Well, YEAH; kind of!" Sniz says: "Don't worry; it's not THOSE kinds of pirates! It's the old-fashioned, classical version of pirates!" Jenny says: "Or in other words, ANOTHER challenge that is GOING to SUCK!" Wally says: "IGNORE HER!!!!" Sniz says: "Noted, moving on! And welcome back from your all-expenses paid trip! I trust you enjoyed it, by the way!" Rube says: "Quite pleasantly so...until Otto and Dog LITERALLY dropped IN on us in their mine cart! We're only lucky that Otto DECIDED to stay behind, so he can fix the roof of Gordon Quid's restaurant!" Sniz says: "Right! Sorry about that! We'll do our best to keep FUTURE eliminations put our contestants on the ground! Anyways, it's time to find out today's legend! Olmec, tell us today's legend!" Olmec says: "Today's legend, is The Legend of Blackbeard's Jolly Roger Flag!"

Fee asks: "Blackbeard? I thought he was Mr. Krabs' grandfather on Spongebob Squarepants!" Harvey says: "No, you're thinking of Grandpa Redbeard! Although, their chosen professions ARE exactly the same, being pirates and everything!" Zarbon gasps in horror, and he says: "Did you say, PIRATES?!!!" (Confessional) Stimpy says: "Well, how was I SUPPOSED to know that Sniz meant old-fashioned pirates? And not modern, Somalian Pirates? I'm not a mind-reader, you know!" / Keswick says: "English CAN be a pretty complex langauge, even in the way it's happened to evolve and change over the centuries!" / Jenny groans, and she says: "Are we EVER going to have a challenge this season that will challenge MY intellect and strength? I highly DOUBT it!" / Rube says: "According to Gordon Quid, the cost to fix his restaurant roof is $17,000. If Otto does Extreme Sports nine hours a day, at the cost of $20 per hourly stunt; it should only take him...99 days and eight hours before he's finished raising the money to fix Gordon's roof! Hopefully, he will get some tips to make it go faster!" / Harvey says: "One of the games I used to like to play with Fee and Foo when we were younger, was games about pretending to be pirates. Of course, we never 'Kee-hauled' anyone or anything like that. We merely traveled places, looking for buried treasure! I mean, we never found anything more valuable than a lost $20 dollar bill that we could never find the original owner of, so we eventually spent it on ice cream for all three of us, but it was mostly the adventure of it all that we really liked!" / Zarbon sighs, and he says: "I've never been fond of...pirates! During the Golden Age of Piracy between the 1650's and the 1730's, pirates didn't exactly have...the high standards for cleanliness and beauty that I strive towards! I personally try to avoid ANYTHING pirate-like, as I would the Black Plague! But if I have to be in company around anybody who REALLY tries to be like an ACTUAL pirate?! I...might be in trouble!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "First things' first; we'll need a volunteer from the Green Monkeys. Someone who had super strength AND can fly!" Super Chum lights up, and he says: "FINALLY! Someone who is speaking MY language! But, why do you need me?" Sniz says: "Because you will be a tremendous help towards making this challenge interesting! To get across the Moat today, each team will be sailing a small replica, of an actual pirate ship, across the Moat! And not only that, each team will be taking pot-shots at each other, by firing meatball cannonballs out of their cannons! Each pirate ship will be equipped with 44 meatball cannons. If a ship gets hit with 11 meatballs before it reaches the end of the moat, it will be considered a sunken boat! That's where Super Chum comes in! It will be your job to fly around and intercept the meatball cannonballs! Oh, and don't think you can just protect the Green Monkey's ship! After all, you have no way of knowing who the Green Monkey's will get paired up with; so I suggest protecting ALL the ships as best you can; just to be on the safe side! Remember; once each team has made it safely across the Moat, ring the Gong pedestal to signify that you have finished! As always, where you finish, will determine the team set-ups! Green Monkeys, you still have one extra member to sit out. Who is it going to be?" Treeflower scoffs, and she says: "I'll sit THIS one out! I'm not a fan of getting shot at, even if it's by meatballs!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "As much as I WANT to win this season, I refuse to have my beauty tarnished anymore than it needs to be!" (End Confessional)

Zarbon goes up to Dudley, Chameleon, and Bubble Bass, and he asks: "Do you guys want to do me a BIG favor, and protect ME from getting blasted by UGLY meatballs?" Chameleon says: "That...is the WEIRDEST thing you have EVER asked me! I mean, I'm the one who helped CAUSE your elimination in Total Cartoon Global Cruise!" Zarbon says: "Which is why you would be PERFECT for the job!" Dudley asks: "Well, why do YOU need protection? You're just as capable of defending yourself as anyone else!" Zarbon says: "But...my lady fans would be DEVASTATED if anything were to happen to me!" Bubble Bass groans, and he says: "Fine! I'll do it! But ONLY because I happen to be in a good MOOD, because I actually GOT a good night's sleep!" (Confessional) Chameleon says: "Zarbon must REALLY be desperate to protect his beauty, if he wants to ask ME for help!" / Dudley says: "Subtlety...has never really BEEN one of Zarbon's strong points, especially when it comes to his beauty!" / Bubble Bass appears with a fresh look and really alert face, and he says: "Look; I've never really interacted with Zarbon before, so I didn't know what to expect from him. How he ever got anywhere NEAR the Final Seven on Total Cartoon Global Cruise is BEYOND me, even WITH Bulma's help! However, he IS still one of us, and we WOULD be at a disadvantage if we lost him! If we can keep him on, I would PREFER that, as opposed to the alternative!" / Zarbon sighs, he says: "Yeah, I know. I'm a coward, but I'm a LIVE coward!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, everyone! To get this pirate adventure started off right, we're going to play an edited version of Jimmy Buffett's A Pirate Looks At Forty! The censors can thank us later! On your marks, get set, GO!" /

During the Montage, the Red Jaguars TRY their best to be fast, but aren't able to power up to great speeds without Tigress and Otto to help them. Taotie keeps PURPOSEFULLY targeting Super Chum, and the Green Monkeys' Pirate Ship! Super Chum is ANGERED by Taotie focusing all his fire-power on him and his team like that; and, forgetting to control his own strength, keeps sending the meatballs BACK at a super-speed, knocking HOLES into the Purple Parrots' ship, and forcing Bubble Bass to keep putting up bubbles, in order to shield Zarbon from Super Chum's throws! / Jimmy Buffett sings: "Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call. Wanted to sail upon your waters, since I was three feet tall. You've seen it all, you've seen it all. Watch the men who rode you, switch from sails to steam. And in your belly, you hold the treasure that few have ever seen, most of them dreams. Most of them dreams. Yes, I am a pirate, two hundred years too late. The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder. I'm an over forty victim of fate. Arriving too late, arriving too late. I've done a bit of smugglin'; I made enough money to buy Miami, but never meant to last, never meant to last! I have been for over two weeks, passed out; and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks. But I've got to stop wishin'; fot to go fishin', I'm down to rock bottom again! Just a few friends, just a few friends! (Instrumental) I go for younger women, lived with several awhile. And though I ran away, they'll come back one day; and still could manage a smile. It just takes awhile, just takes awhile! Mother, mother ocean, after all these years I've found; my occupational hazard, being my occupation's just not around. I feel like I've drowned, gonna head uptown!" /

And the montage and the song ends as the Green Monkeys and Orange Iguanas manage to finish the Moat Crossing first! Sniz says: "And the Moat Crossing is over! The Green Monkeys and Orange Iguanas will be teamed up together for this challenge! Super Chum, I know that you're strong; but that's NO excuse for you TRYING to sink the Purple Parrot's ship!" Super Chum says: "I didn't mean to; it's just that Taotie got me so angry!" General Barracuda says: "Even so, that doesn't mean you have to sink DOWN to his level!" Super Chum says: "Speaking of sink; do you mind if after this challenge, I keep these pirate ships?" Wally asks: "Why do you ask?" Super Chum says: "I have my reasons!" Sniz says: "Johnny, do we have plans for any FUTURE pirate challenges after this?" Johnny says: "I checked it; the line-up is all clear, so it will be fine!" Sniz says: "Sure, go ahead!" Super Chum says: "Thank you; I'm off to work!" And Super Chum picks up the pirate ships, and flies off to his hotel room! Sniz says: "Well, while we get the contestants dried off and wait for...whatever it is Super Chum is doing; you viewers at home take a break! But be sure to come back, for some more Total Cartoon Legends!" / (Commercial Break) / The contestants are beginning to gather at the Steps of Knowledge. Treeflower asks: "Daggett, don't you think it's WEIRD that the show ALWAYS cuts before the Steps of Knowledge? On the ACTUAL show of Legends of the Hidden Temple, they would always have a commercial break AFTER the Steps of Knowledge?" Daggett says: "Well, to be fair, THIS show still has 26 contestants left to manage, whereas Legends of the Hidden Temple would always start each episode with just 12. Of COURSE it's going to be hard to manage, with everyone, ESPECIALLY you, wanting screen-time!" Treeflower says: "And IGNORING that OBVIOUS dig at me, I suppose you're right."

(Confessional) Treeflower gasps, and she says: "WAIT! Did I JUST say Daggett was RIGHT?! That's...never happened before! He actually SOUNDED kind of like Norbert!" / Daggett gasps, and he says: "Did Treeflower just say I was RIGHT?! She's...NEVER done THAT before! She's only ever thought that NORBERT was right!" Daggett groans, and he says: "It's official; I've become Norbert LITE!" Daggett unexpectedly perks up, and says: "Although...that MIGHT actually be a good thing. Nobody EVER respected ME the way I USED to act before this season! Maybe if I act this way more often, the Purple Parrots might actually LISTEN to me more! I mean, it's certainly WORTH a shot!" (End Confessional) Gerald says: "Buhdeuce, who do you think is our best bet to do the Steps of Knowledge THIS time?" Buhdeuce says: "My experience was with a VIKING, not a pirate! Oonski would get VERY insulted if you made THAT mistake! My best bet is Pearl and Larry! They should know more about pirates sailing across the ocean than anyone!" Jenny says: "That's a statistically good idea! Larry, you up for it?" Larry says: "Of course I am, and Pearl is, to!" It shows Pearl a few feet away, actually standing up WHILE asleep! Sandy asks: "Pearl, are YOU sleeping?!" Pearl wakes up, and she says: "I was just resting my EYES, for YOUR information!" Stimpy asks: "Why would you need to rest your eyes?" Pearl says: "Well, if you must know, I have agreed to help Bubble Bass attend to Infant Rube's needs every night for the foreseeable future." Future Adult Rube Goldfish says: "Wow! That's very NICE of you, Aunt Pearl!" Marlene asks: "The question is; WHY?" Pearl says: "And my answer is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!"

(Confessional) Marlene says: "SHEESH! Sorry I asked!" / Buhdeuce says: "Historically speaking, about 600 years worth of history, give or take, separates the classic pirates from the Vikings! Vikings settled America WAY before Columbus got the idea, and Oonski will NEVER hesitate to REMIND people of that! The point is, don't get them mixed up!" / Larry says: "If I want to keep myself in this game, I need to be willing to volunteer if I'm asked to do so! I'm not doing it because they WANT me to do it, I'm doing it because I personally WANT to do it! See how that works?" / Future Adult Rube Goldfish says: "If it wasn't for the fact that I didn't want to RISK altering the future, which I don't, I'd tell Pearl all about the vacation trips we take to go to her place during summer and Christmas vacations! Oh, well! She'll find out, eventually!" / Pearl shakes her head, and she says: "Falling asleep? That's not SOMETHING a winner does! If I'm going to put Bubble Bass' advice of being true to myself, and participating in every physical activity that I can, even if I do BAD in it; I have to stay focused and keep my head in the game! Besides, Infant Rube will be counting on me to do my best as well!" (End Confessional)

Kitty Katswell leans over to Taotie, and she asks: "And just HOW to plan to throw Super Chum OFF this time? You have no weapons you can use!" Taotie chuckles, and he says: "Don't need to! Po and I will be working as a team! He will ring in, and I will answer the questions! This will unnerve Super Chum SO much, he'll do something DUMB, and get hit with penalty votes! THAT will lead to his Elimination!" Po says: "It's nothing personal against Super Chum; our team just needs this win BADLY!" (Confessional) Kitty says: "Oh, Taotie HAS grown smart...well, SMARTER than he used to be! He was NEVER able to come up with an ACTUAL clever plan before! We just might make it to the Team Merge after all!" / Taotie says: "Po says the next reward they offer is mine if I want it! With the lengths I'm going to in order to secure his friendship, I sure hope it's worth it!" / Po says: "Look; if I DON'T support Taotie and the rest of the Purple Parrots; than Tigress' sacrifice for ME will be rendered meaningless! I have to keep myself in the game, for HER, if nothing else!" (End Confessional) Keswick says: "In order for us to WIN this Steps of Knowledge, it will be important for us to have brains, and someone with first hand experience on dealing with pirates! Spongebob, it's high time you used your personal knowledge of dealing with the Flying Dutchman, to good use!" Spongebob says: "Keswick, you can count on ME to help you out!" (Confessional) Spongebob says: "To think; all my first-hand pirate knowledge is FINALLY about to pay off! It really DOES pay to be a multi-experienced contestant of many talents!" / Keswick says: "Even though Treeflower and I are technically in an alliance, I'm still keeping my options open! I mean, if Treeflower gets TOO intolerable, I would like the option to trade HER alliance for another, even if it IS Spongebob! Nothing personal; I'd just prefer Spongebob's company in the Final Three!" (End Confessional)

Zarbon says: "Dudley, Chameleon, Bubble Bass, it has come to MY attention, that Taotie is actively SEEKING to secure MY elimination!" Chameleon asks: "And what exactly are WE supposed to do about that?" Zarbon says: "Help PROTECT me! I AM your most VALUABLE meal ticket! You'll NEED me if you want to get anywhere NEAR the Final Three!" Harvey asks: "Most valuable MEAL ticket?! You forgot about US!" Fee says: "Yeah! We're just as much contestants as YOU four are!" Zarbon PRETENDS to look around, and he asks: "Chameleon, did you hear something?" Chameleon looks confused, and he asks: "Uh, is that a TRICK question?!" Zarbon asks: "Why would you even need to ASK that?! Harvey and Fee are total NON-entities! They DON'T even factor into ANY plan of mine past the team merge!" And Harvey and Fee gasp! (Confessional) Harvey says: "I can't believe Zarbon just SAID that!" (End Confessional) Harvey says: "I can't believe YOU just SAID that!" Fee says: "Do you mean to say that we've been helping YOU all this time, and you DON'T even respect the two of us, as contestants?" Zarbon says: "To put it bluntly, NO!" Harvey says: "Well what if WE decide that WE won't STAND for it?!" Zarbon mockingly says: "Ooh, I'm SO scared! What are you gonna do; throw your GIRLFRIEND at me?!" Harvey says: "Of course not; I'm more respectful than that, unlike YOU!" Dudley says: "OOH, BURN!!!!" Zarbon says: "Well, it doesn't matter anyways, because I'm going to be protected, and we ARE going to win, or else I'll just vote one of YOU two off!" Bubble Bass says: "I think you over-estimate your OWN value to the team!" Dudley says: "Exactly! All you ever DO is admire your own looks! You USED to be QUITE competent!" Zarbon groans, and he says: "If you MUST know, I'm trying to lie LOW, so I DON'T attract Vegeta's attention! I don't want him to realize that I'm STILL a thing!"

Chameleon says: "The major flaw in your plan? There's absolutely NOTHING to prevent Bulma from telling Vegeta everything; they ARE married you know!" Zarbon gasps, and she says: "No WONDER Bulma has been and IS so intent on getting RID of me! First, Vegeta humiliated me, than BULMA decided to get in on the action! The question I would want answered though, is how have I over-estimated my own WORTH to this team?!" Bubble Bass says: "Answer us ONE question honestly; what have you EVER done for US on this team?" And Zarbon just stares at everyone in stunned silence. Bubble Bass says: "That's what I thought. The rest of us might not be as PRETTY as you are, but at least we've actually been TRYING to do our best to win challenges! To quote Billy Idol, 'You're eyes without a face'!" Dudley says: "And SPOILER alert, we don't HAVE an Immunity Pendant, and we can't WIN one, so there's NOTHING to prevent YOU from leaving should WE vote you OFF!!!!" And Zarbon gasps in horror! (Confessional) Zarbon nervously says: "They're BLUFFING! They HAVE to be! I'm too PRETTY to lose again, I just CAN'T lose again! I HAVE to do something to save myself! I have to INTERCEPT Taotie's plan, or they'll eliminate ME anyways!" / Bubble Bass says: "Never thought I'd PERSONALLY see the day when ZARBON got nervous! Oh, how the MIGHTY have fallen!" / Harvey says: "Being vain and beautiful is ONE thing; but insulting ME and my girlfriend? That's where I DRAW the line! As far as I'm concerned, he's OFF the team! Looks, or NO looks!" / Fee scoffs, and she says: "How he EVER managed to get an HONEST girlfriend is BEYOND me!" / Dudley says: "If I can help Harvey vote Zarbon off, it would prove to BOTH of us, that we've become better contestants than HE was!" / Chameleon says: "It's starting to look like I might not HAVE to cause Zarbon's elimination this time after all! He's SO unnerved, that he might do something to cause his OWN elimination himself!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "I've finally arrived! And it's time we had some volunteers for the Steps of Knowledge! Do I have any takers?" Taotie says: "Oh, Po and I will volunteer to do the Steps Of Knowledge together!" Sniz says: "OOH; mixing it up! I like that!" Spongebob says: "Keswick and I will go for the Green Monkeys!" Sniz says: "Variety! That's what I like!" Larry says: "Pearl and I will go for the Red Jaguars!" Sniz says: "Three for three! Are there any MORE suprises in store?" Zarbon quickly says: "I just want to say that I really, really, REALLY value Bubble Bass' worth to my team and his overall intelligence, and we will be facing the Steps of Knowledge together!" Bubble Bass looks at Zarbon questioningly, and Bubble Bass asks: "Really? Are you THAT desperate to save yourself?" Zarbon gets an Anime sweat drop, and he says: "Uh...pretty much!" Bubble Bass sincerely says: "I'll give you points for honesty." (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Honestly, I'm not sure WHICH way I want this challenge to go! If Zarbon can step up to the plate, it might make me respect him more. Otherwise, he's out of the game!" / Zarbon says: "I HAD to volunteer! Hello! I can't let people FORGET about ME! I'm...ME! Do I NEED to say more?!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Okay, Olmec! Tell us more about the legend of Blackbeard's Jolly Roger Flag!"

Olmec says: "Around circa 1680, a man named Edward Teach, would grow up to become better known as Blackbeard; would become an English Pirate who operated around the West Indies, and the east coast of Britain's than American Colonies. While little is known of his early life, it is suspected that he may have been a sailor on privateer ships, during Queen Anne's War, before he settled on the Bahamian Island of New Providence. This place was the base for Captain Benjamin Hornigold, a fellow English Pirate that Blackbeard would join his crew around 1716. Captain Hornigold placed Blackbeard in charge of a sailboat sloop that the former had captured, and the two engaged in various acts of piracy. Their numbers were boosted by the addition of two more ships to their fleet, including one commanded by Stede Bonnet; alias, the Gentleman Pirate. Hornigold retired from piracy towards the end of 1717, taking two vessels with him, and placing Blackbeard in command of his former fleet. Soon after, Blackbeard captured a ship, renamed her Queen Anne's Revenge, and hoisted the now infamous Jolly Roger flag of a Skull and Crossbones to singify their allegiance to nobody except the highest bidder! In the span of only a year, Blackbeard quickly gained infamy, by striking fear into the hearts of his opponents, by lighting slow matches under his hat, in order to frighten his enemies. He once formed an alliance of pirates, and blockaded the port of Charles Town, South Carolina; ransoming their inhabitants. Soon after, Blackbeard ran Queen Anne's Revenge aground on a sandbar near Beaufort, North Carolina. After that, he parted ways with Sted Bonnet, settled in Bath, North Carolina, and accepted a royal pardon. However, it wasn't long before Blackbeard was up to his old tricks again, and he attracted the attention the than Governor of Virginia, Alexander Spotswood. Spotswood arranged for Lieutenant Robert Maynard, and a crew of soldiers and sailors to capture Blackbeard. Refusing to be taken alive, Blackbeard and his crew engaged in battle, where Blackbeard fell in battle on November 22, 1718. Although his time as a pirate was short, he indirectly created the romantic image, of the classical pirate. His Jolly Roger Flag was lost to the mists of time, and found its way to the Temple! Your job is to retrieve the Jolly Roger Flag, and bring it back here!"

Sniz says: "Thank's Olmec! Where can the Jolly Roger Flag of Blackbeard be found?" Olmec says: "The Jolly Roger Flag of Blackbeard, can be found in the Wrecked Shipyard!" Daggett says: "Okay; first off, were some of those names MADE up?!" Sniz says: "NOPE!!!! ALL of that information was REAL; probably WORTH a Google! In any case, you know the drill! Answer questions, and get to the bottom! Be the first team to do so, and you'll receive a Pendant of Life, which you will need if you're going to do the Temple Run! Olmec, take it away!" Olmec asks: "When was Blackbeard believed to be born?" Po rings in, and Taotie answers: "Around 1680!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And the Purple Parrots move down a step! Super Chum asks: "Po, why are you HELPING him?!" Po says: "Come on; it's nothing personal against YOU, but Taotie wants to become my friend! You can't get mad about THAT!" Super Chum says: "Ever hear the tale of 'The Farmer And the Viper'?" Po says: "This is totally NOT that scenario!" Super Chum says: "We'll see about that!" Olmec says: "What was Blackbeard's birth name?" Spongebob rings in and answers: "Edward Teach!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And the Green Monkeys move down a step! Super Chum says: "You weren't counting on Spongebob actually BEING competent, WERE you, Taotie?" Taotie says: "An unexpected development, but nothing I can't overcome!" Olmec asks: "Where was Blackbeard's primary base of operations?" Zarbon quickly rings in and Bubble Bass answers: "Around the West Indies, and the east coast of Britain's than American Colonies." Olmec says: "That is correct!" And the Orange Iguanas move down a step! Bubble Bass says: "Okay, color me impressed! You're STARTING to redeem yourself! Let's see you keep that up!" Zarbon says: "RIGHT! I can TOTALLY do that!" Sandy whispers: "Larry, why aren't you ANSWERING?!" Larry whispers: "Pearl has fallen asleep, AGAIN!!!!" And it shows Pearl once again sleeping while standing up! Jenny says: "Well, what are you WAITING for? Wake her up!" Larry says: "No way, JOSE! I'm not waking up a lady from HER beauty sleep! Count ME out!"

Buhdeuce groans, and says: "You'll thank ME for this!" And Buhdeuce pulls out a loud-speaker, and yells: "PEARL!!!!" Pearl angrily shouts: "I'm AWAKE, Buhdeuce!" Gerald says: "Good! Now, use that enthusiasm to answer some questions!" Olmec asks: "Where do people believe, Blackbeard first got his start?" Pearl rings in, and Larry answers: "As a sailor on privateer ships during Queen Anne's War!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And the Red Jaguars move down a step! Larry says: "Just hang in there, Pearl. Don't drift off just yet!" Pearl says: "Oh, I'm hanging! I'm hanging!" Olmec asks: "Where did Blackbeard first settle down?" Taotie rings in, and Po answers: "On the Bahamian Island of New Providence!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And the Purple Parrots move down a step! Wally SEES that Super Chum is starting to get angry, and Wally says: "Super Chum, calm DOWN!!!!" Super Chum angrily says: "But HE--!" Stimpy finishes: "Isn't CHEATING! You can't hurt someone if they're playing by the RULES!!!! Think of something happy like...fluffy bunnies running through a field!" Marlene raises an eyebrow, and asks: "Really, that's what you go with?" Stimpy says: "It's the best I could think of on such short notice!" Olmec asks: "Who did Blackbeard first join up with?" Spongebob rings in, and he says: "Captain Benjamin Hornigold!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And the Green Monkeys move down a step! Keswick says: "Come on, Spongebob! Just one more!" Olmec asks: "When did Blackbeard first join up with Captain Hornigold?" Zarbon quickly rings in, and Bubble Bass says: "In the year 1716!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" Larry whispers: "Come on, Pearl! We got to answer the NEXT one, or we can't WIN!" Pearl drowsily says: "Uh-huh!" Larry looks over to the rest of his team-mates, and he says: "Uh, guys? I DON'T think Pearl will be able to STAND much..." And Pearl falls down TOWARDS Zarbon who just screams: "UGH!!!!" And Pearl lands on TOP of Zarbon with a thud, and Larry awkwardly finishes: "...Longer."

Zarbon grunts, and muffled, he says: "I beg your pardon, madame; but, get OFF!!!! Pearl? PEARL!" Super Chum says: "She's out cold! Hold on, Zarbon; I'm COMING!" And Super Chum rushes in, and with great effort, he lifts Pearl up, so that Bubble Bass can pull Zarbon free! Bubble Bass asks: "Are you all right, Zarbon?" A very battered, very bruised, and very nearly BROKEN Zarbon angrily says: "Do I LOOK the SLIGHTEST bit all right, to you?!" Super Chum says: "Come on; don't get upset. Pearl's not USED to sleepless nights; it was an accident! There's no NEED to get angry." Zarbon laughs maniacally, and he says: "Angry? ANGRY?!!! I'm not angry that Pearl RUINED MY BEAUTY; I'm downright FURIOUS!!!!" Zarbon flies up, and aiming towards Pearl, Zarbon starts to say: "Arrow of--!!!!" And Super Chum flies right TOWARDS him, and using ALL of his strength, PUNCHES Zarbon in the chest, and sends him FLYING right into a stone wall! Bubble Bass winces, and he says: "Well, that's ONE way to eliminate TWO contestants!" Zarbon weakly says: "How could THIS happen AGAIN?! I think I've broken every bone in my BODY!!!!" Sniz says: "I'm calling it. Zarbon; I'm afraid you're in no shape to continue on in this competition. I'm afraid you'll have to be eliminated via Med Evac for your own safety." Zarbon says: "Darn it. At least it will give me a chance to freshen up. Bulma, will you win the game for me, for good OLD times sake?" Bulma says: "I would...if we genuinely HAD any good old times that I DIDN'T create purely for my OWN amusement!" Zarbon says: "Worth a shot!" Bada and Bing come to carry Zarbon away on a stretcher, and Zarbon shouts: "Orange Iguanas; AVENGE ME!!!!" And Zarbon is carried away out of the competition!

Sniz says: "Well, that takes care of the Orange Iguanas for today. Super Chum; I know you were ONLY acting in self-defense, but we DO still have the rule about not HURTING another contestant! I'm afraid we WILL have to hit you with four Penalty Votes!" Bubble Bass says: "And as much as we DIDN'T like Zarbon, he WAS still one of us! So, as a matter of principle, I'm afraid we WILL have to vote you off if your team has to face an Elimination Ceremony." Super Chum thinks about it, and he sighs, and says: "Sorry, Green Monkeys. I hoped I would've been able to put my strength and skills to more good use this season; but I think I BLEW it just now!" Stimpy says: "Don't say that! You made an honest mistake! It could've happened to anyone!" Super Chum says: "But I'm supposed to be a superhero. I need to hold myself to a higher standard. And in good conscience, I don't think I can stay in a competition of this nature, if I might unintentionally hurt someone else." Super Chum announces: "You don't need to hold an Elimination Ceremony tonight, I'm quitting the game! I wanted to win the money to help clean the garbage patches of the ocean, but I don't think I need to anymore." Marlene asks: "Why is that?" Super Chum says: "I prepared myself a Plan B in case something like this happened. Remember those pirate ships? Well, I put all FOUR of them together, in order to build one BIG ship! I don't NEED the money anymore; I can simply use the ship I built, to put the garbage on! Plus, I'll have some place to rest once I've finished working! It's not going to be an easy job, even with someone of MY skills!" Treeflower asks: "Keswick, are you fine with this?" Keswick says: "If it's what you HONESTLY want, than I'm not one to stand in the way of that. Do what you need to do." Super Chum says: "I am! And this way, I'll be able to help the Earth in a way that will ACTUALLY have some meaning!"

Future Adult Rube Goldfish says: "Super Chum, practically ANYTHING we do has meaning in the grand scheme of things. What matters is; your intention BEHIND the things you do, and how you do them! Remember, as long as your sense of justice remains morally right; you will NEVER truly be lost on the highway of life!" Super Chum says: "Thank you, Rube! That means a lot to me!" Wally asks: "But what's going to happen to the ship that Super Chum built?" Future Adult Rube says: "No problem! I can magically transport it to the nearest ocean Super Chum happens to go to, when he has to go through the Magical Mine Shaft of Shame!" Sniz asks: "Are you fine with this?" Super Chum nods, and he says: "Yes, sir!" Sniz says: "Good! Than, I guess we don't need a Temple Run today. Although...we WERE planning on having a reward in ADDITION to an Elimination!" Johnny Krill says: "Why not just use the Tie-Breaker Pedestal to determine who gets it?" Sniz says: "Good idea, Johnny! I KNEW you were smarter than you looked!" Johnny says: "Naturally!" Sniz says: "General Barracuda, bring in the tie-breaker pedestal!" General Barracuda carts it in, and Sniz says: "Okay! Answer this question, and the recipient and a guest of their choice, will get an all expenses paid trip to visit beautiful Avila Beach, California; because Pismo Beach is WAY too crowded this time of year! Okay; here is the tie-breaker question! What was the name of Blackbeard's ship?" Taotie rings in, and he says: "Queen Anne's Revenge!" Sniz says: "That is correct! You and a guest of your choice are going to Avila Beach, California!" Taotie says: "Awesome! Po, pack your sun-screen, a beach towel, and whatever beach gear you want to bring! We have a vacation date in Avila Beach, California!" Po asks: "You really mean it?" Taotie says: "Of course! If it weren't for your belief in me, we wouldn't even be ABLE to enjoy this vacation!" Po looks at Taotie gladly, and Po says: "Taotie, I always KNEW there was some goodness in you! You just needed help in order to find it!" Sniz says: "All right! You two enjoy your trip, and we will see Super Chum off at the Elimination Ceremony!"

(Confessional) Treeflower says: "Honestly, I was worried about how I was going to get past Super Chum; but now I don't have to worry anymore, because now he's GONE!...Don't tell anybody else I said that!" / Spongebob says: "Today has been a...mixed bag. On the one hand, Zarbon is finally gone! On the other hand, we're losing a good ally! At least he IS leaving on his OWN terms. And as a good friend, it's my job to support him, whatever he decides to do!" / Stimpy says: "Somehow, I'm STILL here! I never thought I could outlast Super Chum again, but I SOMEHOW did it! I guess I might as well actually try to MAKE it to the Team Merge; just to see how good of a contestant I still am!" / Marlene says: "Honestly? I won't miss ZARBON! Super Chum? Eh...I'll miss him as a contestant!" / Keswick says: "Ultimately, I think Super Chum did the right thing! Zarbon would've HURT somebody if Super Chum didn't stop him! It's always hard to make a call like that; but at least, Super Chum had the strength to see it through!" / Wally says: "It's OBVIOUS the Purple Parrots wanted to take both Zarbon and Super Chum out of the game! Even so, I don't think the Elimination went QUITE as they planned! Regardless, the rest of my team, including myself, will have to step up our games! The Purple Parrots have proven they are NOT to be counted out!" / Future Adult Rube winces, and he says: "I...feel kind of bad my Infant self indirectly caused Pearl to fall asleep today. It's not easy to be a new parent, or babysitter, to a baby. I DEFINITELY owe Bubble Bass and Pearl some good thank you gifts once I get back to my own time!" / Daggett is just astounded and he says: "My...plan...worked. It actually WORKED! I am OFFICIALLY no longer STUPID!!!!...I wonder how THAT'S going to change the dynamic between me and Norbert?" / Kitty says: "Daggett's plan WAS crazy; but it REALLY worked! I guess that means I'll have to step up MY game, to; if Daggett's going to be a LEGITIMATE threat!" / Bulma says: "At long last, the greatest threat to MY game is gone...AGAIN! All that remains is to work together with Yakety to win challenges, and we'll get to the Final Seven EASILY! / Yakety says: "I know the time might come when I'll have to face off against Bulma, if the two of us end up fighting for the Grand Prize. But I just want Bulma to know in advance, that I have NOTHING personal against her!" (End Confessional)

It is night time, and the Green Monkeys and Orange Iguanas all have chocolate pendants of life. Super Chum says: "Uh, where is Zarbon?" Sniz says: "He is unfit to take the Mine Cart of Shame, so he left another way. You don't mind being a party of one, tonight?" Super Chum says: "No, of course not." Sniz says: "I know you PROBABLY don't need it, but you HAVE to wear a helmet anyways for the sake of our insurance!" Super Chum puts his helmet on, straps himself in, and says: "Understandable." Sniz asks: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Than 3, 2, 1, BLAST-OFF!!!!" And Super Chum rockets down the rail tracks, and through the Mine Shaft of Losers! Sniz says: "All right! We are almost to the half-way point! How are things going to be different now that Taotie is one of the good guys? Can the Purple Parrots handle Daggett now being SMART? And will the Green Monkeys be able to carry on without Super Chum? Find out the answers to these questions on the next episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "Until than, sail safely, loyal viewers!" /

Stinger: Po and Taotie are at Avila Beach, California on the beach, relaxing on Beach Blankets under an umbrella, and enjoying some ice cream! Po sighs, and says: "Ah...this is the LIFE, isn't it; Taotie?" Taotie says: "I'll have to admit; with the exception of the birth of my son, I'm not sure if I've ever been happier. I ought to put this new attitude of mine to good use once this season is over. There's a lot of things I'd like to build in the Valley of Peace, once I get there." A familiar voice says: "And I would LOVE to see that happen!" Po sits up, and he says: "Captain Retro?!" And they see Captain Retro, wearing dark sun-glasses, green swimming shorts, green shoes, and a straw hat! Captain Retro says: "How did you recognize me? I'm incognito!" Po says: "Simple, I read the sign on your backpack; 'Captain Retro, 44 million listeners can't be wrong'!" Taotie says: "Imagine, seeing YOU again, with ME as one of the good guys! I wonder what ELSE could possibly happen today?!" And as if to answer his question, a portal suddenly opens up, and Super Chum speeds out of it ON his mine cart, and quickly BRAKES it, in order to stop himself from hitting his BIG, Wooden boat that just magically appeared on the ocean! Po turns to Captain Retro, and Po asks: "Captain Retro, is THIS why you came here?" Captain Retro says: "Partially. But I'm also here because it's my day off!" Super Chum says: "Wow! I landed in Avila Beach, California with YOU guys! What a stroke of good luck!" Captain Retro asks: "What do you mean; 'Luck'? It's ALL Karma, Super Chum! You land EXACTLY where you NEED to be at the moment!" Super Chum says: "I wonder if THAT'S how the portal works? Anyways, I've got my ship; I'm going to clean the garbage patches!" Captain Retro says: "Good luck! I have to stay around here and protect my OWN local community!" Super Chum says: "Will do! If you see any OTHER eliminated contestants come your way, tell them I said 'Hi'!" Captain Retro says: "I'm not sure if that will happen, but I'll keep that in mind!" /

Episode Notes: First time Captain Retro has appeared on the show since the Final Episode of "Total Cartoon Global Cruise". According to Daggett, this is the FIRST time one of his plans have ACTUALLY worked, and he wonders how it will change the dynamic between Norbert and himself! Zarbon is eliminated via Med Evac, and Super Chum quits due to the guilt he feels, for causing Zarbon's injuries. Featured Songs in this episode: "Part Of Your World" sung by Pearl, "The 1812 Overture" (with REAL cannons), and an edited version of Jimmy Buffett's "A Pirate Looks At Forty". Eliminated Contestants: 46. Kowalski. 45. Private. 44. Kaput. 43. Johnny Krill. 42. Haggis McHaggis. 41. Monster Krumholtz. 40. Aang. 39. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 38. Darwin. 37. Heffer Wolfe. 36. Judy Funny. 35. Sway-Sway. 34. Invader Zim. 33. Gonard. 32. Blonda. 31. Squidward Tentacles. 30. Dora the Explorer. 29. Tigress. 28. Otto Rocket. 27. Dog. 26. Zarbon. 25. Super Chum. Remaining Contestants: Daggett Beaver, Purple Parrots. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Kitty Katswell, Purple Parrots. Harvey Beaks, Orange Iguanas. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Taotie, Purple Parrots. Po, Purple Parrots. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Orange Iguanas. Bulma Briefs, Purple Parrots. Chameleon, Orange Iguanas. Fee, Orange Iguanas. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Orange Iguanas. Yakety Yak, Purple Parrots. (Future Adult) Rube Goldfish, Green Monkeys. /

Personal Notes: It's interesting for me to see how the dynamics of contestants have changed, with certain contestants being put into different circumstances and situations than they might have been in previously. For instance, Daggett being put into a group of contestants even MORE dysfunctional than he was, has FORCED him to take SEVERAL levels of competence, and rise to the challenge and prove that he actually CAN be smart! But Zarbon? He ended up being rather underwhelming! As it turns out, Zarbon really NEEDED someone like Bulma on his team to love him and ENCOURAGE him to do great things! Without a similar situation this season, Zarbon had NO reason to exert himself, unless it was to save himself from elimination! And Zarbon found out the HARD way that you can't win a season of this show, just by being eye candy alone! Meanwhile, despite the fact that Super Chum HAD a reason to win this season; his winning would be FAR too predictable, and he proved to be rather tough to right for in a satisfying matter! In the end, Super Chum ended up leaving in similar circumstances to the LAST time he chose to quit; because there was a greater NEED somewhere else! That, and he felt guilty for succumbing to anger and causing Zarbon's elimination! Please tune in for next time, when we WILL reach the half-way point, in terms of contestants! Enough said, true believers!