Skodwarde

[So Sejima]

I really have ideas for this

[Jjs Goodman]

105a. hilaryfan80's Splinter Operation

One day, SpongeBob was grillin' some burgers with his trusty spatuler when suddenly, it went flinging up to the roof! SpongeBob then randomly grabbed a bunch of random objects out of nowhere and stacked them up to get to his spatula. He then managed to get it, but he slipped and the stuff came flying down everywhere, and SpongeBob's thumb smashed into a splinter on the floorboard. Many Skodalgics began to flee this episode before finishing, because you and I know where this is going, amirite?

SpongeBob tried to remove the splinter, but it was tough. Skodwarde was annoyed by the commotion going on, so he used his god powers to make the splinter impossible to remove. He then warns SpongeBob that Mr. Krabs will send him home if he finds out, causing SpongeBob to jizz his pants in fear. SpongeBob gets depressed and sees Patrick dumpster diving outside the Krusty Krab for no given reason, and asks him to help remove the splinter. Patrick agrees, and he then transformed into Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick!

 

With his magic coding skills held high, hilaryfan80 was ready to help anyone in trouble and squash any bug on SBC. SpongeBob flashed his nasty splinter in his thumb, and hilaryfan80 got his coding equipment ready to remove it. As hard as he tried to remove it with his magic coding skills, it was no use. It was glued in tight to Skodwarde's magic. hilaryfan80 then covered it up with boo boo band aids, to try to stop the swelling. hilaryfan80 said he'd be back later because SBC broke again for the umpteenth time, and he has to go fix it.

SpongeBob then hid the splinter in his pants, and went into the kitchen to see Mr. Krabs and Skodwarde staring at him like he has a dirty little secret. Mr. Krabs asked SpongeBob to cough it up, because he knew SpongeBob wasn't getting a normal boner, considering the obvious hand stuck in his pants. SpongeBob flashed his splinter out, and it was twice in size thanks to hilaryfan80's operations. Mr. Krabs then plucked the little fucker out, and it ejaculated gross slime all over Mr. Krabs and Skodwarde. This disgusted Skodwarde, and then Mr. Krabs reveals SpongeBob would have gotten money due to the injury. Skodwarde as a result tries to hurt himself by sticking a splinter into his tentacle, but Mr. Krabs said his shift expired 30 minutes ago, causing Skodwarde to use his god powers to give Mr. Krabs a splinter too.

hilaryfan80 then walked in into the Krusty Krab, who was ready to get back to SpongeBob's appointment and saw all three had splinters. "Oh jeez, I don't get paid enough to do this job " hilaryfan80 said to himself, and the episode ended.

105b. Flo Rida's Whistle Boys

One day, SpongeBob and Patrick decided to play with whistles to annoy Skodwarde. Just then, before more Skodwarde abuse awaited, Flo Rida appeared out of nowhere with his hit song Whistle:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aS85AvLl9Ik

Skodwarde, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Flo Rida decided to blow everyone's whistles in town, with Whistle playing in the background. They went out like Wild Ones and would get Low at the dance club because The Club Can't Handle Me (I'm pretty sure you can figure out where this is going). And it was one hell of a night.

...except for Skodwarde, who somehow fell off a cliff in a tanker truck after sipping too much crack. He then ended up in the hospital with Flo Rida, SpongeBob, and Patrick singing Whistle to cheer him up.

Edited March 11, 2017 by jjsthekid

[ClassicNickelodeon Fan 1]

On 6/13/2013 at 10:20 PM, jjsthekid said:

105a. hilaryfan80's Splinter Operation

 

One day, SpongeBob was grillin' some burger with his trusty spatuler when suddenly, it went flinging up to the roof! SpongeBob then randomly grabbed a bunch of random objects out of nowhere and stacked them up to get to his spatula. He then managed to get it, but he slipped and the stuff came flying down everywhere, and SpongeBob's thumb smashed into a splinter on the floorboard. Many Skodalgics began to flee this episode before finishing, because you and I know where this is going, amirite?

 

SpongeBob tried to remove the splinter, but it was tough. Skodwarde was annoyed by the commotion going on, so he used his god powers to make the splinter impossible to remove. He then warns SpongeBob that Mr. Krabs will send him home if he finds out, causing SpongeBob to jizz his pants in fear. SpongeBob gets depressed and sees Patrick dumper diving outside the Krusty Krab for no given reason, and asks him to help remove the splinter. Patrick agrees, and he then transformed into Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick!

 

 

 

With his magic coding skills held high, hilaryfan80 was ready to help anyone in trouble and squash any bug on SBC. SpongeBob flashed his nasty splinter in his thumb, and hilaryfan80 got his coding equipment ready to remove it. As hard as he tried to remove it with his magic coding skills, it was no use. It was glued in tight to Skodwarde's magic. hilaryfan80 then covered it up with boo boo band aids, to try to stop the swelling. hilaryfan80 said he'd be back later because SBC broke again for the umpteenth time, and he has to go fix it.

 

SpongeBob then hid the splinter in his pants, and went into the kitchen to see Mr. Krabs and Skodwarde staring at him like he has a dirty little secret. Mr. Krabs asked SpongeBob to cough it up, because he knew SpongeBob wasn't getting a normal boner, considering the obvious hand stuck in his pants. SpongeBob flashed his splinter out, and it was twice in size thanks to hilaryfan80's operations. Mr. Krabs then plucked the little fucker out, and it ejaculated gross slime all over Mr. Krabs and Skodwarde. This disgusted Skodwarde, and then Mr. Krabs reveals SpongeBob would have gotten money due to the injury. Skodwarde as a result tries to hurt himself by sticking a splinter into his tentacle, but Mr. Krabs said his shift expired 30 minutes ago, causing Skodwarde to use his god powers to give Mr. Krabs a splinter too.

 

hilaryfan80 then walked in into the Krusty Krab, who was ready to get back to SpongeBob's appointment and saw all three had splinters. "Oh jeez, I don't get paid enough to do this job " hilaryfan80 said to himself, and the episode ended.

 

105b. Flo Rida's Whistle Boys

 

One day, SpongeBob and Patrick decided to play with whistles to annoy Skodwarde. Just then, before more Skodwarde abuse awaited, Flo Rida appeared out of nowhere with his hit song Whistle:

 

 

Skodwarde, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Flo Rida decided to blow everyone's whistles in town, with Whistle playing in the background. They went out like Wild Ones and would get Low at the dance club because The Club Can't Handle Me (I'm pretty sure you can figure out where this is going). And it was one hell of a night.

 

..Except for Skodwarde, who somehow fell off a cliff in a tanker truck after sipping too much coke. He then ended up in the hospital with Flo Rida, SpongeBob, and Patrick singing Whistle to cheer him up.

 

Couldn't Skodwarde just use his god powers to heal himself?

Edited March 11, 2017 by jjsthekid

[Jjs Goodman]

Couldn't Skodwarde just use his god powers to heal himself?

 

 

Because...it's Skodwarde. 

[SpongeOddFan]

hilarious episode

[So Sejima]

FOR ONCE THE SPLINTER WINS

[Old Man Jenkins]

106a. Hunka Matata

One day, SpongeBob and Pathulu decide to go stepping on the beach, DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO, when suddenly, some maniac on a motorcycle decides to waltz right in through the crowded beach with no regard for everyone else whatsoever. Instead of kicking this dickhole the fuck off the beach, everybody decides to wet themselves as this mysterious Racer X reveals himself to be none other than Hunka Hunka Larry in the flesh. He's all like "Hunka Matata! Such a wonderful phrase!" before proceeding to taunt SpongeBob and Pathulu over how they have no balls and encourages everyone else that it's not some fashion craze and that they should try this at home. Pathulu takes it too much to heart and proceeds to get himself into some kinky ass sadist shit involving fisting machines and blood orgies as SpongeBob breaks his mold by going up the down escalator. Pathulu's insatiable hunger eventually prompts him to piss off the local supremacist outlaw biker club, consisting of just stock characters from The Salty Suck-n-Blow. They tail him back to the Krusty Krab where Skodwarde couldn't give two shits where this story goes, as SpongeBob comes to his friend's aid. He sings them a song about friendship and all that jazz surely and the biker gang calls a truce. SpongeBob asks what Patrick did to piss them before offering to give all the bikers a blow. The Road Captain says that's what pissed them off and that they're not THAT kind of supremacist biker gang before giving chase. They're about to split some wigs when Pathulu proceeds to eat out all of their souls, saving their skins.

SpongeBob, turned on by the whole experience, suggests that they should shoot themselves out of a crossbow and land into Pride Rock because you only live once, after all. Skodwarde catches wind of this and uses his god powers to conjure up such a projectile because a chance to kill SpongeBob and Patrick like this will never present itself again. They shoot themselves out as Hunka Hunka Larry catches sight of it, and seeing the potential lawsuits, decides to head up and save them. Seeing this as a chance to kill three birds with one stone, literally, Skodwarde uses his god powers to send Hunka flying after them. Larry sounds like a hypocrite as he tries to convince him that Hunka Matata isn't about maiming themselves but it's about living for today, about having no worries for the rest of you-, but they hit Pride Rock before Larry could finish his number. At the hospital Pathulu and Hunka are roommates as SpongeBob wheels on in and tells them that there's a wheelchair ramp with their names on it before wheeling off. Before Larry can get SpongeBob for one of his patented Anchor Tosses, Pathulu proceeds to eat out his soul. Meanwhile, Skodwarde spends the rest his day having no worries.


Will get 106b up later.

[Old Man Jenkins]

106b. Tanorexic

One day, SpongeBob takes Pathulu out so that they can go streaking on the beach, where all the shoobie fishes are out sunbathing and tanning because, y'know, they're all so darn white by fish standards. Skodwarde stirs shit up by using his god powers to make this one guy tan so hard that he turns into a slice of bacon, since fish is pork apparently, and Pathulu doesn't hesitate to eat out his soul. They're suddenly graced by the presence of SBC's number one tanner, Sauce Mama, who legend has it that she's so tanned, even her bones are caramel glossy...or it could just be cancer. She invites all the dark people to her tanning shindig later that night. All except for SpongeBob, Pathulu and Skodwarde, who are all just too Haole for this Haole. All three decide to go back home to work on their tans. Skodwarde goes old-fashioned while SpongeBob and Pathulu coverts Pathulu's rock into a tanning bed. Pathulu gets the results he hungers for, but when it's SpongeBob's turn, Pathulu is too busy eating out souls of his fellow tanorexics so Skodwarde uses his god powers to keep SpongeBob locked under the rock and burn him to a crisp. Pathulu returns from the feast to let SpongeBob out, only to find out that he has skin cancer. SpongeBob goes to Skodwarde for help, but once again fails to realize that Skodwarde just doesn't fucking like him. Pathulu takes SpongeBob out to eat out some more souls, but SpongeBob just isn't feeling it and says that his dying wish is to go to that shindig. The feast causes Pathulu to spontaneously jizz all over SpongeBob and they decide that they should give it try since cum is darker than yellow.

Skodwarde is denied entrance into the shindig by Sauce Mama for having a white ass and for that, he's chased off by her Pa and his gat. SpongeBob and Pathulu are up next and they each make the cut and are allowed sanctuary inside. They get down on the dance floors and get down with their tanned selves, but when Sauce brings in the tanning lights she installed, it quickly hardens the jizz around SpongeBob and he is frozen in place. SpongeBob asks Pathulu for some help, who attempts to put him out of his misery by eating out his soul, but accidentally breaks the man juice casing and revealing their farce. Everybody gets on their asses and tells the Haoles to get off their beach when Sauce comes out and admits that not only her eyelashes are fake, but that her tan is to, revealing that she spray tans to get results. Everybody quickly jumps ship and are understanding of their pale plight and they all decide to dance like a bunch of idiots under the tanning lights to get results the hard way. Skodwarde returns to stir shit up by using his god powers to juice the lights up to 11. In the end, everybody ends up considerably darker than before, except for Sauce's stomach, as Skodwarde spends the rest of his night tanning in the moonlight, pleased in knowing he just gave everybody skin cancer.

[So Sejima]

Brilliant episodes

[SpongeOddFan]

Welp, Skodwarde is officially #1 SO in SBC history, which means BT is no longer *Number 1* SO since June 13, 2013

[ClassicNickelodeon Fan 1]

Hey man I already said it. 

[Young Nug]

jjs let me guest write woo

 

107B. Dicks.....Dicks Everywhere

 

Skodwarde was coming home after buying some candles to set a sexy mood for his hot date tonight, when SpongeBob and Patrick started annoying him, so he used his god powers to make Patrick aware of the fact that he didn’t have a dick so he would leave Skodwarde alone. He started whining and getting PMS-y about it.

 

“Patrick, are you on your period again?” SpongeBob asked knowingly.

 

“No, SpongeBob, I’m a guy! But no one knows that because I don’t have a dick! You have one, Mr. Krabs has one, Skodwarde has one…Even Sandy has one! (because there’s no way in hell that thing is a girl)”

 

So Patrick went to the dick surgeon to get a new one. The doctor introduced to him many stereotypical dick styles. 2-inch Asian style, a 12-inch blackout, and even the 7-inched regular. In the end, Patrick settled on the Mandingo style. Once Patrick left the dick surgeon’s, he experienced all the joys of having a dick. Going to the bathroom standing up, having to wear compression shorts, and being able to get it on with hot mermaids were just a few of the things he enjoyed. But Skodwarde saw Patrick having too much fun with his dick, so he made Patrick experience the downsides. Patrick got a random hard-on while watching “Aya's Hot Sea Anemones XXX” on TV one day.

 

“WHAT IS THIS! MAKE IT STOP!” He cried.

 

To prevent the horrible hard on, Patrick went about cleansing Bikini Bottom of all it’s porn. He destroyed Mr. Krabs’ seven tape collection of “Hot Crab on Crab Creampie Action”, he burned all of Sandy’s Weasel erotica, and he ate all of Skodwarde’s God Porn of himself. He stole all of Nuggets's porn but that didn't really matter since he couldn't watch them anymore after...The Accident. And then he destroyed all of CNF's Tiny Toons porn because it's wrong to jack to tiny, tooney looney things. He even ripped off SpongeBob’s arms so he couldn’t jack it no more because dammit bobby that’s wrong. The four held a meeting.

 

“Patrick has made Bikini Bottom a terrible, porn-free place!” Sandy yelled.

 

“Patrick and that dick have been nothing but trouble!” Mr. Krabs said.

 

“I can’t even buy “Naked Realtors 6” at the store anymore!” Skodwarde said.

 

“We have to get rid of Patrick’s dick!” SpongeBob said.

 

So Skodwarde used his god powers to bring all the porn from above the sea into the water, and the 4 showed all this porn to Patrick. Patrick’s dick couldn’t handle the massive porn overdose, and it shriveled up and then poofed into thin air.

 

“I just wanted to have a dick like all of you!” Patrick said, crying.

 

“I don’t have a dick though.” Sandy said. Everyone laughed hysterically.

 

At Patrick’s dick’s funeral, everyone was rather happy.

 

“If Patrick had done anymore porn removal, I woulda had ter kick his ass!” Mr. Krabs laughed.

 

“HEY! I heard that.” Patrick said, with his new Nicki Minaj ass implants. 

 

Everyone groaned as Dance (A$$) started to play.

[kev]

jjs let me guest write woo

170B. Dicks.....Dicks Everywhere

It's 107B lol. Can I guest write Episode 123-124?

[Jjs Goodman]

It's 107B lol. Can I guest write Episode 123-124?

 

Sorry, but Wumbo has already claimed those. Maybe he'll allow you in it somehow, though. Just ask him.

 

Also, 107A will be up later by CDCB.

[CDCB]

107a. Skodzilla

 

Skodwarde is tending to his garden of seaweed when SpongeBob and Patrick show up to have a smoke. While Skodwarde tries to reconcile with SpongeBob, Patrick uses up all of the seaweed and has a giant puff. Angrily, Skodwarde sprays Patrick's butt cheeks with some Magic Meth. Much to Skodwarde's disappointment however, Patrick happily bounces around on his supersized butt. 

 

Giving up, Skodwarde throws the Magic Meth to SpongeBob who comes to the moronic conclusion that some good deeds will cheer him up. Patrick agrees and sprays Skodwarde's penis to give him more luck with the ladies. Skodwarde tries to stop SpongeBob and Patrick as they attempt to even out the rest of his body, but the Magic Meth has had an adverse effect on his god powers rendering them useless.

 

Pissed that he now looks like crap and unable to control his 20 foot anatomy, Skodwarde jizzes, much to SpongeBob and Patrick's disgust. Enraged that they find natural behavior disgusting, he chases them around only to be confronted by a group of Bikini Bottomites who think that Skodwarde is an evil monster. He takes his anger out on a little boy with a storybook and throws him into an exploding buliding. 

 

The citizens run Skodwarde out of town for destroying a perfectly good building and he finds himself in the outskirts of town. Meanwhile SpongeBob and Patrick are having a sleepover in his penis. Skodwarde forces them out and screams that they ruined his life by taking away his god powers with the Magic Meth. Feeling like the idiots they are, SpongeBob and Patrick decide to make it up to Skodwarde.

 

The next day, Skodwarde is presented with the Clarinet O' Cocaine. Skodwarde decides that he may be an outcast in Bikini Bottom but at least he still has his drugs. Happily he snorts away, but just as he's broken on through to the other side he realizes that he's back to his normal size, much to his dismay. Having regained his god powers in the process, Skodwarde punishes SpongeBob and Patrick by teleporting them to a Justin Bieber concert and zaps the writer for leaving out the swearing in this episode.

[Macseed]

I called the weenie joke!

[kev]

Sorry, but Wumbo has already claimed those. Maybe he'll allow you in it somehow, though. Just ask him.

 

Also, 107A will be up later by CDCB.

Oh, Ok.  Tell me which episode is available.

[SpongeOddFan]

funny episodes, AN & CD

[So Sejima]

Ok where do I sign up to get in on this guest writer week?

[Jjs Goodman]

Time to start the Skodwarde premiere week.

 

108A. CSI: Bikini Bottom Volume I - Patty Capers

 

The episode opens with a very dramatic feel at the Krusty Krab, and Mr. Krabs is horrified. The secret ingredient to the Krabby Patty has gone missing! SpongeBob begins to panic, and so does Mr. Krabs. Just then, out of nowhere the CSI: Miami theme began to play...

 

 

Then, busting through the front doors of the Krusty Krab was Horatio Caine! 

 

 

Horatio was ready to crack the case of who stole the ingredient, CSI style. Mr. Krabs was too busy fapping to money porn, so he was perfectly fine with Horatio's aid. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Horatio got together and began searching Bikini Bottom. They first started at the Cum Bucket, where Plankton was jacking off to Cummy Cum movies. Horatio, SpongeBob, and Patrick began questioning him, but he told them he didn't steal it, because he's been fapping to Cummy Cum all day. He has also been busy making his own Krabby Patty out of raw cum, and he offered them to taste it, but the three agents left before vomiting. 

 

The three agents then went to Skodwarde's house, and he was busy fapping to his German Porn. Horatio began wondering why the fuck everyone in his town had some fetish with porn, but SpongeBob and Patrick told them "it's normal". Skodwarde told them he didn't steal the damned ingredient. Horatio told him to crack, and flashed out his sunglasses, because he's just that good. Skodwarde knew he couldn't question that, so he admitted he didn't have it, but told them he knows the person who has it is the least person they would expect.

 

The agents then went to Sandy's tree dome, but let's face it, what does a squirrel want with the secret ingredient? SpongeBob told Sandy to cough it up, but she kicked SpongeBob in the nuts, and the three agents left, knowing not to mess with her. They all went back to the Krusty Krab, out of luck. Horatio said he has found no clues whatsoever, making this his toughest case to date. Just them, Mr. Krabs came out of his office after fapping to money porn, and he held the bottle of the secret ingredient in his claw. Horatio then pulled out his hand cuff and arrested Krabs. SpongeBob asked why Mr. Krabs did it, and he told them he didn't feel like spending money for the ingredient, so he stole it. Mr. Krabs is then taken to court the next day, and the judge tells him he must give away free Krabby Patties and blowjobs courtesy of Skodwarde to customers for a day, much to Mr. Krabs' dismay.

 

Horatio then bids SpongeBob and Patrick farewell, and tells them he'll return for another case one day...maybe. Of course, this isn't CSI without our closing line...

 

"Looks like the Krab....got cracked," Horatio said, and pulled on his awesome sunglasses, walking out into the Bikini Bottom sunset.

 

 

____________

 

108B. Plankton's #1 Fan

 

One day at the Cum Bucket, Plankton was too depressed that he never had one customer, so he ate some of his cum patties, before vomiting. Karen told him to quit whining, and he kept crying. Just then though, as if by some miracle, famed critic Roger Ebert walked through the front doors. Roger Ebert was in the mood for some cum, surprising Plankton. He then gave him a Cum Stick, and Roger Ebert loved it. He said he'd be back tomorrow for more, and that he was in town to review Bikini Bottom's films. Plankton was happy he finally had one fan.

 

The next day, Roger Ebert returned, and he was writing up his review of "After Earth", M. Night's newest disaster, and let's be honest, was he really going to improve after that piece of shit known as The Last Airbender? But getting back on topic, Plankton offered him another Cum Stick, and Roger Ebert laughed at the delight of it. Mr. Krabs was masturbating in a tub of money in his office when he pulled out his telescope and looked at the Cum Bucket, to see Roger Ebert leaving. Mr. Krabs nearly popped a boner when he saw famed movie critic Roger Ebert coming out of the Cum Bucket of all places. Mr. Krabs then exploded out of his office and told SpongeBob that there is some black magic afoot if famed movie critic Roger Ebert is liking Plankton's cum.

 

Both then tried getting Roger Ebert to visit the Krusty Krab, but he told them he had another film to review, which had to do with something about a Lone Ranger. SpongeBob tried assaulting him with Krabby Patties, but Ebert said Plankton's cum is the best food known to mankind. He then went off to the movie theaters, and this left SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs in dismay. Skodwarde told them they should steal Plankton's cum recipe if Roger of all people loves it. Mr. Krabs thinks that is a great idea, but he asks Skodwarde why he can't use his god powers to help them, and Skodwarde replies he wants to see where it goes for the lulz.

 

Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob broke into the Cum Bucket late at night, and saw a safe with Plankton's cum recipe, but just then, two giant dildos popped down with a siren alarm, and trapped the two. Plankton laughed at them, saying this is pretty goddamn ironic to see him trying to steal his formula. Just then, Roger Ebert came into the Cum Bucket, and told Karen he must go now, saying that he is requested back on land. He tells them he can't stomach anymore of the cum. Plankton is shocked by this, asking what the fuck is going on. Karen then explained she was sick of Plankton's bitching about nobody liking his cum, so she hired Roger Ebert to like the cum. Roger laughs, saying with his heart of gold, he can stomach any disgusting food, so he tells Plankton it didn't hurt him either way. Plankton is touched by this, and Roger Ebert went away, but then Plankton went back to crying because his only customer is gone, and Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob are set free by Skodwarde's god powers, as they all watch Plankton bawl like a baby. But because of this dickish ending, the three then left Plankton alone and went off to use the giant dildos for a party.