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Skodwarde


Clappy

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I love the Bray Wyatt reference. Also, 200th post ftw


84a. Butt Buddies

One day, Mr. Krabs, having realized that Plankton hasn't attempted to steal the formula for the past month and is somehow paranoid about it, sends out Spongebob and Skodwarde to go invade his privacy and spy on him. Patrick plops on by and decides he, too, wants in on this sweet action. Krabs offers him a job, starting now, but immediately fires him after raising his hopes up for that brief millisecond. With his job once again at stake and for no pay whatsoever, Skodwarde decides to just go along and Wang it, cuz fuck, you would too after four seasons of this bullshit. Despite having unlimited god power at their disposal, Spongebob feels the incessant need to look the part so he has Skodwarde teleport them on over to Sandy's because the last time all three of them were together went along so well (tongue-in-cheek reference to SkodBob TesticlePants FTW). Sandy shows them gadgets such as various dildos with cameras and lasers built in for some reason as well as some fleshlights, yada yada yada, you know the sex toy drill by now. Cant forget the infamous mirrored aviators. Perfect when stalkin-er, "spying" on someone. But what's this? What's this? A fully automated and operational jet pack!?! And who said squirrels are dumb? Sandy shows them her new date drug that comes in spray form, which instantly knocks the target out upon inhaling it. She tests it out on our butt buddies and I'll just let your imagination run wild like Hulkamania here.

Sandy refuses to let Spongebob and Skodwarde use these sex toys of mass destruction because she still remembers the condom incident from last season's finale, but Skodwarde uses his god powers to swipe the Ruffy Spray from Sandy and uses it on her because, I don't know, we have an episode to move along here. Spongebob and Skodwarde pillage her Treedome but not before pillaging Sandy of her innocence if ya know what I mean! After some sloppy seconds, they finally go about their mission. They follow Plankton into a Baby store where he buys some baby clothing he quite obviously can't fit. Spongebob and Skodwarde creep from a distance making some jokes about how Plankton's such a baby which is ironic considering past episodes and the fact that their idea of being incognito is disguising themselves in baby clothing. They follow Plankton outside where he buys some condoms from a condom dispenser and they joke about how he'll just slip inside the condom itself, you know, cuz he's small. They stalk him some more but the sound of the silent tip toes can still echo through Plankton's small ears, blowing their cover. Skodwarde puts on the jetpack as Spongebob grabs him by his balls before blasting off again, almost killing like a lot of people in the process, including Plankton. But hey, when has death never been a factor in this show?

They finally have the gall to just infiltrate the Cum Bucket like they should've done while Plankton was gone. Spongebob is a sucker for theatrics and is no doubt the Agent 99 of this duo, but Skodwarde is all "fuck this, I have god powers." and beams themselves inside right in front of Plankton. Plankton mistakes this as them sneaking in to eat at The Cum Bucket because Plankton is in denial like that. So instead of torturing them for the formula like he should, he goes to whip up whatever the hell he serves at the Cum Bucket. Skodwarde realizes that this is the perfect opportunity to stir some shit, but Spongebob is currently suffering from an awkwardly placed dildo in one of his many bungholes. Worse, it's the laser dildo. As Plankton begins to serve up smiles, because hell if I know what the hell he cooks, Spongebob lasers the place like crazy, taking it down. Unhinged at the loss of his restaurant, he mounts this random blimp and wages war on the Krusty Krab. Krabs sees this floating dildo-shaped device floating towards and busts out his cannon and they begin trying to kill each other. Spongebob manages to sneak onto the blimp but before he can do anything, Skodwarde uses his god powers to pop the blimp in yet another move in his war on ridiculousness and due to time constraints. The blimp maydays into the Krusty Krab, destroying it as well. Plankton emerges from the wreckage with the formula in hand and says he wins. Spongebob calls his bluff by saying he's the exact opposite of Charlie Sheen. Plankton removes his costume, revealing himself to be...Mr. Krabs?! "Krabs" removes his, revealing Imitation Krabs before popping its head open to reveal Plankton once again operating the suit. Krabs revealed that they made a bet that was a month in the making where they would take on eachother's lives in some stupid attempt to prove that Krabs is better than Plankton and all that crap. I don't even want to explain the complexity and holes that lie in this plan, but hey, at least Krabs made a easy dollar(!!!??!?!!???!!!?) from it so whoop-dee-freaking Doo. Krabs also rubs into Plankton's face that he knocked up Karen, something even Plankton couldn't accomplish, once again one-upping the minuscule menace. Spongebob reveals he too was wearing a costume, turning out to be Patrick. But Patrick is just too dumb to do something this elaborate so he takes off this layer to reveal Sandy. Now Sandy is somebody who is actually believable in pulling this off, but she removes her suit to reveal the mastermind was Skodwarde! Now this is believable, but the real Skodwarde is just not amused anymore and uses his god powers to tear the Skod suit apart, finally revealing that it was indeed Old Man Jenkins who was behind this episode after all. Skodwarde proceeds to spend the rest of his night planning OMJ's demise.

84b. Skodwarde PSA

And now it's time for some Boat Safety 101, with your tutor and mentor in all things safe despite being hurt in practically everyone of her appearances, Mrs. Puff. Here to demonstrate to you a person with boat smarts is without a doubt Skodwarde, who's dressed as Amelia Earhart for some reason. To demonstrate to you a person without boat smarts is Spongebob, who finds it necessary to jiggle his ding-a-ling for the viewer to see much to Skodwarde's disgust. Did we mention that this safety video is brought to you in part by the Disney Channel? Now, I know what you all must wondering, "just what the hell is this heaping pile of shit doing in the middle of this much anticipated episode?" We here at Skodwarde just don't give a fuck anymore. Let's sink our teeth in this while we're still interested. Puff Mama begins to show us the importance of "Tire Pressure". Skodwarde works that pump like nobodies business due to years of experience (at Hot Dog on a Stick, I'm sure people) while Spongebob pumps it like his business, ya know, penis pump. DONT BE A SQUARE!

Next on the agenda, Seatbelts. Common sense, right? Moving on, Mirrors. You adjust them to suffice your field of vision. Got it? Good, Stop Sign. Does Puff Mama have to slap a guppy? As you can probably tell, this is Skodwarde abuse galore, so we expect plenty of angry letters. After Skodwarde let's off some road rage by calling Spongebob a "fool", we finally move on to Our last thing; a driver with boat smarts keeps a keen eye on his surroundings and avoids distractions, which on paper kind of contradicts itself but shit, you sign the release form before viewing this for a reason. With Puff Mama as his escort, Skodwarde proceeds to get into a 69 car pileup thanks to Spongebob shaving his pubes behind the wheel. Spongebob pulls up to them and laughs and call them "nerds" before peeling off and tweeting at the same time. Remember that, aspiring drivers out there. Remember this segment...

84c. Good Ol What'shisname

What, a third segment?! Apparently, we're just chock-full of ideas it's crazy! It. Really. Is. Any who, we start things off in Mr. Krabs' office, where Spongebob and Skodwarde walk in on him fapping to "Maximizing Profit for Dumbasses" of all recreational viewing material. He tries to divert their attention from his embarrassment by offering them an all-expense paid tropical cruise vacation to the employee who remembers the most customers' name's since apparently that's the key to putting more profit in your pocket. Skodwarde begins fantasizing about ballroom dancing with a head of hair when he should be knowing that this whole trip thing is just too damn good to be true. Has he not learn anything from "Clams"?! I digress. Skodwarde gets a big head (ha) thinking that since he's the only cashier in this stinking establishment, he has better connection with customers compared to Spongebob, who's cooked up in the kitchen all day. When Skodwarde begins mingling with the crowd, he instantly realizes that nobody gives two shrimps about him, whereas Spongebob is Mr. Popularity, calling out to his peeps on the fly. Not amused, Skodwarde uses his god powers to stuff Slongebob in the register and tries mingling again, but Spongebob always seems to Bugs Bunny his way out of every situation Skodwarde throws him in. A fish who sounds an awful lot like Doggy Daddy (at least that's the first thing that popped in my mind) enters the restaurant and surprisingly greets our resident Squid Nazi, but before he can tell Skodwarde his name, Spongebob pops out his ass and spoils it for him. Doggy Daddy tells Skodwarde, "Son, give that boy a bone!"

Skodwarde demands to know Spongebob's witchcraft and he proceeds to show Skodwarde how he's been chronicling all the name's of his customers in an archive album which isn't fucking creepy at all. Skodwarde uses his god powers to swipe it and name's every customer in unison before going to claim his prize. Krabs, being too cheap to pay attention to all of this nonsense, says that whoever gets the name of Christopher Walken over there, wins the prize. Skodwarde punches Spongebob the fuck out before approaching the poor sap. He asks for his name right off the bat so he tells Skodwarde, "WHATS IT TO YA!" Not amused, Skodwarde pours coffee on him before using his god powers to swipe his wallet and making a run for it. He jaywalks on by, garnering police attention as he tries losing the guy and the PO PO by climbing up to the roof of a building without realizing that they're hot on their trail and follow him on up there. After a lengthy tug of war, the wallet snaps, bada bing bada boom, Skodwarde catches his license and we find out his name was really "Whut Zit Tooya". Not amused, Skodwarde makes fun of such a stupid ass name and is arrested on (verbal) assault charges.

Spending ten years in real, butt-pounding jail doesn't seem to phase Skodwarde much because he's such a hardass and he has that cruise to look forward to once he gets out. Spongebob and Mr. Krabs visit him, where Krabs presents to him his well-deserved award, the cruise brochure. They leave Skodwarde to his fate as Skodwarde once again swears vengeance against OMJ for writing such atrocities at his expense. Speaking of butt-pounding earlier, Patrick jumps down from the top bunk, apparently still serving time from that Stangler episode, and is all like "Hey Mack, wanna know what I'm in for?" Cue raepface and credits.
 

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It's a joke. A very sexual, un-family friendly, unclean, dirty, downright messy, and mature rated joke.

The truth lies above you.

Your actually saying that a teen doesn't know what a dildo is.

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85a. New Digs

Skodwarde, for shits and giggles, uses his god powers to give SpongeBob insomnia. SpongeBob cures it by having a glass of his milkshake, which brings all the boys to the yard. He falls asleep instantly, but wakes up late. Forgetting to put on underwear, he rushes out the door, but ends up being one minute late. It is then that he discovers that he is not in fact wearing underwear, sending him into an even deeper depression. He decides to make up for it by working his ass off.

Skodwarde, ever the devious mind, suggests to SpongeBob that he should live at the Krusty Krab to get him out of his pubic hair. SpongeBob heeds the advice and does so. He soon brings his bed, his alarm clock, his TV, his clothes, and his collection of anemone porn to the restaurant to make himself feel more at home. When Mr. Krabs demands to know what the fuck is going on, SpongeBob quiets him by offering money. As Mr. Krabs goes to masturbate, SpongeBob makes himself at home by watching his anemone porn on his TV. He then decides to wash his jockstraps, because why not. Skodwarde finds him twice as annoying at work, but at least now he's not disturbing readings of Mein Kampf at home.

Things get really hairy, however, when SpongeBob lets his parents stay with him at the Krusty Krab. Harold catches his son masturbating to anemone porn and is all like "What's going on here?!" He then finds Mr. Krabs videotaping his wife having a shower and punches him into next week. Stick to money, Eugene. Mr. Krabs has finally had enough, and kicks SpongeBob out, soon proclaiming that the deed is done. Skodwarde decides that the only thing that can be done now is to turn the Krusty Krab into the Playboy Mansion so he can live there. Mr. Krabs acquiesces, as long as he can have a separate money section.

85b. Krabs a La Mode

Mr. Krabs is being a fucking cheapskate, as usual. He keeps the thermostat at a frigid temperature to save energy and torture his employees. When Skodwarde or SpongeBob inquires about the frigid temperature, he simply replies, "The money is always right!" Or something along the lines of that, hell, I can't remember. Anyway, Plankton the attention whore sees this as yet another opportunity to steal the Krabby Patty formula. As he touches Mr. Krabs' thermostat (there's a dirty joke there somewhere), the lowers the temperature and makes everything hard (yeeeaaah, there it is).

Because Krabs is a money-obsessed dumbass, he fails to notice that:

A: Everything in the Krusty Krab is clearly colder.

B: Plankton covered up the thermostat's actual reading with a crappily stickied sticky note.

But hey, let's not poke fun at Krabs' judgement! Instead, let's watch the buffoon make some more money by turning his restaurant into a restaurant/skating rink! Of course, Plankton is furious.

Of all of Skodwarde's powers, skating is not one of them. He miserably fails and sprawls out on the ice like somebody who just got blotto. Actually, Skodwarde did down a couple cans of Budweiser before work, so that may have something to do with it. Anyway, Plankton decides that in all the commotion, it's time to steal the Krabby Patty formula, like he does nearly every other stinkin' episode. But then Mr. Krabs brings in the Toronto Maple Leafs for some reason, and like the terrible hockey players that they are, they sprawl out on the ice everywhere, thwarting Plankton's plan. Eventually, Plaknton decides to give up this charade, rips the sticky note off of the thermostat, and touches it once again to make things hot and steamy.

So now Mr. Krabs has a goddamn swimming pool/restaurant, while Plankton is stuck in an ice cube. Here at Skodwarde, we don't believe in giving the underdog a chance, so why not? Skodwarde then spikes the pool water, but that's another story.
 

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My apologies for the very long break between episodes. I take full responsibility.


86a. Roller Pussies

One night in Bikini Bottom, SpongeBob is just masturbating around his house, when Patrick bursts through the wall with a TV in his hands yelling, "SpongeBob, you gotta see this!" They proceeded to watch “this”…which was some more anemone porn and whacking off when they hit an unprecedented commercial break, which was a boner killer. One of the adds was for Glove World’s The Fiery Dick O' Pain, was a dangerous and extreme ride, which excites them into vowing to ride it on the first day. That night, however, SpongeBob has a dream about them dying due to anal contusions on The Fiery Dick O' Pain, which terrorizes SpongeBob.

The next morning they get on the bus to Glove World. After hearing gossip about the ride from fellow patrons, the two are terrified. They get off the bus and go up to the ticket patron. They check their pockets and, upon "finding" that they have no tickets they begin to go home, but the ticket patron spots that they hid their tickets up their rears after a mandatory full body inspection and they enter. They are so scared, that they get re-directed to a ride more suitable for them: Weenie Hut Roller Coaster. They get in the extremely small car and the man places a prom night dumpster baby in their laps. SpongeBob and Patrick get scared every time they go up the small bump. They get off the ride crying, causing the abandoned baby to be angry at them.

They eventually get in line for The Salty Spitoon…whoops wrong episode, I mean The Fiery Dick O' Pain. They see Old Man Jenkins come out injured and they run off, however seconds later it was seen that he injured himself trying to tell former UFC champion Brock Lesnar (in a cameo) that his acting was bad this past Monday on RAW. In order to waste more time, they attempt to go to the bathroom in a marathon, but run into Larry who tells them about that freak stank under your arm when you go on the ride and Larry insist SpongeBob and Patrick to go to the ride immediately. SpongeBob and Patrick were so afraid getting in the ride they run of catching the freak stank causing them to run off and Larry thinks he should stop making people smell his armpits. They then get some ice cream from Mega Weenie Hut General to soothe their nerves, causing Patrick to get ice cream all over his face, which prompts him to go to the bathroom and wash up. Meanwhile, SpongeBob talks to himself through his ice cream. SpongeBob and his ice cream had a fight and his ice cream proceeds to rape him since it apparently came from the Aqua Teen reject bin. In the bathroom, Patrick has a discussion with his reflection which eventually turns into Stevie Nicks and the rest of Fleetwood Mac who starts singing Landslide. Patrick punches his reflection and returns to SpongeBob as children get older and I’m getting older too.

Just before the two can admit that they’re pussies, SpongeBob hears the loudspeaker say that Glove World closes in 5 minutes, and so they enter the ride. The ride starts but they have difficulties. They are relieved, but Skodwarde makes a cameo appearance and uses his god powers to fix the mechanical problems. Thus, the operator is able to hit the start button. They rocket off as Skodwarde starts to laugh his ass off. However, they end up enjoying the ride though they feel they were sexually violated by a roller coaster. This leads to Skodwarde asking if this is where the line starts.


86b. Cum Sweet Cum

Karen notices one day that the Cum Bucket was very sticky (gotta love jizz references) and suggests to Plankton about redecorating the place. Plankton tries to paint the out side of the Cum Bucket, but the problem is…he’s short. Plankton does not want to paint it, so he pulls a Tom Sawyer and tricks SpongeBob and Patrick into doing his work as he tries to steal the Krabby Patty Secret Formula while there at it.

Meanwhile, Skodwarde passes by and sees SpongeBob and Patrick painting the Cum Bucket. The two explained what Plankton told them and this causes Skodwarde to use his god powers to show them what art really is. Plankton is amazed as he doesn’t even have to trick Skodwarde to do his work for him.

While they are busy, Plankton tries to steal the formula for the umpteenth time. However, now the formula says "One Bottle of Lotion... Take nude photo... Get hot sex tape with Kim Kardashian". Alas, of course, this turns out to be Krabs “To Do” List.

Plankton was so busy with trying to steal the formula he did not notice what those nincompoops have done with the Cum Bucket. The Cum Bucket looks exactly like the Krusty Krab now. Mr. Krabs arrives back from his naughty shopping and saw what happened. Mr. Krabs move the Cum Bucket and back to the place where the Krusty Krab should be and then Mr. Krabs reveals that the Krabby Patty Secret Formula was with him all the time inside a safe. Plankton gets a ridicule send-off back to the Cum Bucket for the umpteenth time. Sadly, The Cum Bucket restaurant is gone and only Karen is left to bitch and complain about how big a failure Plankton is.

At the end, the inside of the Krusty Krab looks very different, thanks to Skodwarde. It now looks like a five star restaurant that all those Hollywood socialites go to. The tables and chairs are fancy, the designs are painted by Skodwarde, and SpongeBob is watching anemone porn on a computer (Karen). Kim Kardashian (in a cameo) comes in and orders a Krabby Patty, but Mr. Krabs says they're twenty five dollars each now, but he can give it to her for free…for a price, as Mr. Krabs finally gets his hot sex tape with Kim Kardashian as Krabs now fills up a void that once belonged to Kanye West, Ray J, Reggie Bush, Kris Humphries….and a bunch of Kim’s other boyfriends. Oh and of course that void previously mentioned is obviously Kim Kardashian’s vagina.
 

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Skodwarde on the second page? Skodwarde is not amused.

87a. To Fuck a Patty

SpongeBob is at it again, whipping up some tasty burgers for the customers, as "She Works Hard for the Money" plays in the background. Suddenly, he becomes erotically attached to one of them for some reason. He nicknames it "Patty", then, as duty calls, takes it to the customers. But he can't seem to let patty go! And he can't fight this feeling anymore! He's forgotten what he started fighting for... you get the picture. So he steals Patty back and replaces it with a stinky old boot, which the customer must now wear all day. SpongeBob begins to fuck the patty hard in the privacy of his kitchen. Hearing the love sounds, Mr. Krabs demands to know who's playing Skodwarde's records again.

Because SpongeBob is not a love 'em and leave 'em kind of guy, he takes Patty home and proceeds to fuck it on his bed. Patrick and Sandy, ever the cockblockers, barge in and try to tell SpongeBob that he may be in an unhealthy relationship, what with the grease and all. SpongeBob ignores them, and goes off to do various freaky things with Patty.

FIVE MONTHS LATER:

SpongeBob's Fishbook status: it's been 5 months with my gurl Patty! i luv u so much babe :) fuck me one more time

SpongeBob is now in denial, because Patty has obviously let herself go. SpongeBob realizes he forgot to tell Mr. Krabs about his relationship, and because Mr. Krabs is so out of touch with the kids today, he doesn't realize that SpongeBob is fucking a Krabby Patty. SpongeBob proceeds to fuck Patty in the middle of the Krusty Krab. Skodwarde, ever the asswipe, decides to kill SpongeBob's buzz by bringing to attention the fact that Patty is long gone from the scrumptious curvy cutie she used to be. SpongeBob ignores Skodwarde, and leans in to Patty to catch her fragrance, only to discover that she's not even wearing deodorant anymore. SpongeBob wonders why Patty has let herself go so badly. Mr. Krabs comes out of me office and sees SpongeBob in a disillusioned state. Having had a "been there, done that" experience before he became monesexual, Mr. Krabs tells SpongeBob that patties are meant to be eaten, not fucked. SpongeBob takes his advice and eats it, but not without the remorse of nausea.

87b. Breath of Fresh Skodwarde

Skodwarde is having a wet dream, when SpongeBob and Patrick have to spoil it by waking him up. Skodwarde demands to know how they got in his house, and SpongeBob replies that they do it all the time, to watch him sleep... er, the sunrise. Skodwarde roundhouse kicks them out of his house, and decides to create an invisible forcefield around his house. Unfortunately, his poor foresight (omnipotence can be impotent, you know!) causes him to fence SpongeBob and Patrick in along with him! Skodwarde decides to cancel the forcefield, kick SpongeBob and Patrick off his Skoddamn property, and simply build an electric fence. But somehow, SpongeBob and Patrick end up in his yard AGAIN! Freaky little fuckers. Skodwarde politely shows them the door, but gets shocked by his own electric fence! (Because they're underwater... um.) The electricity messes with his god complex, and causes him to lose his powers. Being an average joe, he realizes that he needs to appeal to the common folk now. At the Krusty Krab, he makes Krabs a Krabby Patty with him masturbating to money designed out of ketchup. Mr. Krabs acts coy when he sees it and asks who designed it. SpongeBob rats out Skodwarde, to which Mr. Krabs is so overjoyed he makes Skodwarde Employee of the Month for the first time.

SpongeBob is depressed, because Employee of the Month was the only thing he had, and now it's been taken away from him. Meanwhile, to celebrate Skodwarde's win, Patrick throws an orgy at his place. Before Skodwarde and Pat can have some sexytiemz, SpongeBob crashes the orgy and tells Skodwarde that Patrick is impotent. Disappointed, Skodwarde leaves, only to be electrocuted by his fence, gaining back his god powers. SpongeBob decides to tell Skodwarde that Patrick is not really impotent, but Skodwarde's all-knowing...ness comes back and he zaps SpongeBob with some lightning of his own before SpongeBob can get a word out. Unfortunately, this also causes SpongeBob to have god powers as well. Patrick comes out to beat SpongeBob up for calling him impotent (and Tubby) but the electric charge from SpongeBob shocks him, and he turns godly as well. And the episode ends there, on a cliffhanger, to the displeasure of Skodalgics.
 

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88a. Money Talks

One day at the Krusty Krab, and what may seem to be filler, a customer wants to sit at a certain table. Two elderly people (OMJ and his newly married wife, Mary) are already sitting there. SpongeBob said the customer could sit at the table when they are done having old people sex with the Krabby Patties. The guy said he would pay two quarters and a dollar (we're just killing it) if he gets it now. Mr. Krabs agrees with this offer, and kicks the old people out, causing OMJ and Mary to flee to Hawaii above land. Mr. Krabs then says "Money talks" in a possessed voice and SpongeBob asks him, "Did it tell you to kick those old people out?" Mr. Krabs likes the idea and wishes he could talk to money, in other words, be a money whisperer.

Later at his house, Mr. Krabs forces the money to talk. Of course, it doesn't. Mr. Krabs then shouts he wants to talk to money. Mr. Krabs then has sex with the money to get it to talk. He even asks Skodwarde to bang the money...and they still won't talk. The Flying Dutchman appears and said he would grant his wish if he sells his soul for all of eternity. Mr. Krabs takes the offer, and the Flying Dutchman throws cum dust on him. Mr. Krabs wakes up and he thought it was a dream, until he hears his money talk. At first he is delighted. He takes all the money from his safe at the Krusty Krab and takes it home, ready to lay them.

The money told Mr. Krabs they want to be spent. He spent some of it on condoms, sex dolls, and dildos. Mr. Krabs tells the money he can't spend all of them. Mr. Krabs tries to put the money in a bag, give it to SpongeBob, and ask him to rape it and bury it, but that makes him lose the money and he takes the bag back. Mr. Krabs is restless, and shouts "Take this curse away!" The Flying Dutchman appears and is about to take Mr. Krabs' soul, but he said he already sold his soul. Suddenly, a group of ghosts said Mr. Krabs sold his soul to them. The Flying Dutchman is upset, and sees SpongeBob, and asks "You too, SpongeBob?" and SpongeBob responds "He was 5 bucks short on pay day." with 5-dollar foot long music playing in the background.

Meanwhile, a bunch of Skodalgics get furious of how this episode has flanderized Mr. Krabs' money obsession, and start up a rally, only for the Flying Dutchman to take their souls to settle the deal.


88b. SpongeBob vs. Skodwarde vs. The Patty Gadget

One day, while digging through his Skodwarde sex merchandise in his lonely home filled to the brim with drugs, marijuana, sex dolls, and a very messy room, Patchy finds a story book, and decides to tell a tale.

One day, Skodwarde invented a machine with his god powers and he insists that Mr. Krabs fire SpongeBob because it can make Patties faster, give everyone sweet blowjobs, fuck everyone harder than ever and Mr. Krabs does not have to pay for it. Then, Mr. Krabs declares Krabby Patty War against the Patty Gadget. SpongeBob and the Gadget get into an epic duel.



First, SpongeBob seems to be faster, but the machine is not a easy challenge for him. Everyone was enjoying the battle (except for Patrick who had to take a mighty piss in the bathroom). Skodwarde then bursts out the handle of the Patty Gadget and SpongeBob finishes the beast off by battling hundreds of Krabby Patties against it.

However, SpongeBob faints after winning the battle. Everyone thinks that SpongeBob was buried, but it was actually the Patty Gadget, while the rest of the gang used its remains to make a sex chair.


88c. Dirty Dancing

One day, Skodwarde makes a trophy case with the only trophy being there is the "World's Longest Fucker". SpongeBob and Patrick make it to the finals of the Bikini Bottom Dance-A-Thon competition while Skodwarde's confidence for the win is crushed when he fails to proceed to the finals. Skodwarde's desire to win coaxes him to be the coach for SpongeBob and Patrick. Skodwarde wanted to see SpongeBob and Patrick's dance moves, but Patrick ends up with an ASSS CRRAAAAMP after trying to pass the limbo stick. He ends up rolling around in pain, and Skodwarde lets him roll out the door. Skodwarde asks for SpongeBob's moves, but all he has is wiggling his arms, going around and laughing, and doing a little thang with his big yellow penis. Skodwarde then accidentally slams into SpongeBob and soon finds himself inside SpongeBob, which gives him an idea: Skodwarde gets inside of SpongeBob and controls the dancing.

On the night of the big competition, lots of people come, as well as a dildo dancer who wows the crowd and ends with a high rating. SpongeBob thinks he can't compete against that, but Skodwarde thinks different. When SpongeBob's up, Skodwarde dances, but the crowd is not enjoying it (like you Skodalgics right now). Soon, Skodwarde gets an ASSS CRAAAMP in some of his tentacles causing him to scream in pain and hold it whilst hopping around. Soon, the crowd leaves, but after catching a glimpse of Skodwarde reacting to his cramp, he begins to call the crowd back.

It isn't long before Skodwarde has to pull up his knee, and it isn't long when Skodwarde's remaining tentacles get cramped too, causing Skodwarde to pull that knee up too, and hold them in pain, causing SpongeBob with no arms or legs, to fall over, and then making Skodwarde buttfuck SpongeBob while in pain. The crowd actually applauds at the end, and this wins SpongeBob and Skodwarde the trophy. SpongeBob pops out his arms and legs and begins to take the trophy, but Skodwarde beats him to it, causing him to have to swallow the trophy to get to Skodwarde. SpongeBob then says he couldn't have done it without Skodwarde, and pulls Skowarde out of him, revealing that partnered dancers are disqualified, and thus making the duo fucked. The trophy is confiscated from Skodwarde, and it turns out that literally everyone was partnered, even the dildo dancer (he had someone named Pendro hidden in his hair, and he had something that popped out dildos). The only individual dancer in the contest is number 69, which is indeed Patrick who also got a real ASSS CRAAAMP like Skodwarde did, winning him the trophy. SpongeBob says he is impressed with Patrick's new dance, whence Patrick screams before saying thanks.

Epilogue: Sadie comes into her son Tommy's room to find him doing the ASS CRAAAMP dance, but Sadie thought he was hurt. She calls 911, but Tommy gets up and tells his mom that he is doing the ASSS CRAAMP. Sadie laughs about kids' "crazy dance fads", and soon Spongebob, Skodwarde, Mr. Krabs, and Patrick show up. Everyone does the ASSS CRAAMP, ending the episode, leaving everyone in some type of ASS CRAAAAMP orgy.
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