Welcome To Glove Universe

[1st Descendent of Smitty]

Welcome To Glove Universe

By The First Descendant of Smitty

 

It was a beautiful day in Bikini Bottom. Every moulisk was content. Each sandwich was loved. Even under a rock there was joy. Ah… what made today different from others? Well you see, it was the day SpongeBob SquarePants went to Glove Universe with his best buddy, Patrick Star.

“I’m glad you had a spare key, Pat,” SpongeBob said as the two walked around the newly opened amusement park.

“Yeah,” Patrick agreed as he munched on his cheesy coral dog on a stick. “I don’t think they’re going to find the one in Glove Lake for a long time.”

The two best friends imagined a chrome future where advanced life forms discovered the key in an archaeological dig.

“Anyway,” SpongeBob said, bringing them back to the cacophony of cheer. “What do you want to do first?”

“That one! That one!” the starfish said as he jumped up and down. Patrick pointed into the distance, throwing down his snack.

SpongeBob followed his gaze and stopped on the Glovey Boats. Some little guppies were screaming ecstatically as a bored looking employee operated the ride. “Oh that just looks so fun!” he said, doing a twirl. “How about I race you there?”
Patrick frowned. “No,” he said, crossing his arms. “I want to go there.”

This time, SpongeBob saw his friend was really pointing at what was beside the Glovey Boats. SpongeBob gulped. It was the Haunted Mansion of Glove. Unable to control himself, he frantically chewed his finger nails down to his wrists.

“Well,” Patrick said, already waiting at the attraction. “Are you coming or what?” he waved merrily and leaned over to take a closer look at the scary decorations.

SpongeBob laughed nervously. “Coming, Buddy. Just one second.” In a flash of light he was back in his sweet, safe, pineapple home. “Sorry Gary,” he apologized, almost tripping over his pet snail. Just as quickly as he had gotten there, SpongeBob whipped out a quill and scroll of parchment. He madly attacked it with the quill and it immediately became his will. “Here Gary,” he said. He tucked the scroll under the snail’s shell, with a kiss before materializing back at Glove Universe. Patrick stood in the exact same position and appeared that no time had gone by.

“Lost you there for a second there, buddy,” Patrick said. “But don’t worry. There’s no one else in line.”

“Wow… that's great,” SpongeBob said in a false cheerful voice. He slowly walked towards the haunted mansion, his limbs moving robotically. Before he could ask his friend if they could do something else, Patrick grabbed SpongeBob by the arm and dragged him through the doors.

A wailing scream filled his spongy ears as he made out his surroundings. Skulls looked back at him, all wearing torn glove hats; destroyed versions of the ones they were wearing. Suddenly, he felt something on his foot and screamed. Something was moving. Little glove spiders scurried over SpongeBob and Patrick’s feet, making him scream even louder.

Patrick, on the other hand, laughed. “Awww! All of these little baby mittens must think you’re their glove mommy. He nudged his friend playfully, chuckling some more. He looked up to see SpongeBob turn into a white piece of paper. Patrick plucked some gum off his teeth and placed it on the paper before wadding it up and tossing it aside. The mitten spiders screamed and all fled. The paper popped up and there was SpongeBob.

“This is boring,” Patrick said, kicking a skull aside, clearly not noticing SpongeBob’s transformation. “I wonder where all the scary stuff is at.”

They continued on passing (in SpongeBob’s opinion) more scary things. It was the same performance at each one. SpongeBob howled in fright at the finger cakes in the dining room while Patrick tried to eat them. In the bedroom, SpongeBob almost lost it because of a creepy hand puppet. Patrick thought it was amusing. Even the glowing sign of the exit sent SpongeBob under the covers. Scaredy Pants was here to stay. What the two didn’t know was that behind those doors, something was waiting for them. The Flying Dutchman maybe… or even Davey Jones himself? Unfortunately, it was someone even more frightening.

SpongeBob and Patrick screamed, jaws dropping to the floor as the door swung open, revealing a slimy, sneaky creature which belonged deep below the waves. The two paused to take a breath and then continued screaming.

“Shut your kelp holes, you big babies,” the foreboding figure said.

As if on cue, they had their thumbs in their mouths and were curled up on the ground, rocking back and forth.

“Oh wait!” SpongeBob exclaimed as he jumped to his feet. He brushed his pants off. “It’s just Squidward.”

Patrick didn’t listen and continued his baby routine.

Squidward only sighed and took the two by the shoulder. He led them through the exit of the haunted mansion and then stopped once they got to a quieter area of the park. He let them go, not caring that they tumbled to the ground.

“Hi Squidward,” SpongeBob said. “Are you here to experience the wonders of Glove Universe too?”

“No!” Squidward shouted, then said in an imitation of SpongeBob’s voice, “I am not here to experience the wonders of Glove Universe too.” He switched back to his normal nasal tone. “I am here because Mr. Krabs had another money making scheme which takes place in this dump!” In a huff, he pointed to his Krusty Krab hat.

Patrick frowned, finally standing up. “I’ll have you know Mr. Tentacles, that today is my day to play with SpongeBob, so you can just go back to that skinflint crustacean and tell him that my friend is unimpairable.”

“Unavailable,” SpongeBob whispered to his friend.

“That’s what I said,” he grumbled. “So go back and schedule your own time for SpongeBob, but guess what. I heard my buddy is booked until next year.” Patrick crossed his arms and looked the other way, jutting out his bottom lip.

SpongeBob, who was ecstatically jumping up and down, held up a hand. “Don’t you see  Pat? What’s better than having the Krusty Krab be here and hang out with you?”

Scratching his head, Patrick shrugged. “Is it ice cream?” he asked. His eyes were unfocused as a stream of drool dripped from his mouth. All that he could think of at the moment was a delicious Gooberberry Sunrise.

“Close,” SpongeBob said. “The answer is performing my Krusty duties at Glove Universe with my two best pals.” He hugged the others despite the fact Squidward was actively trying to squirm out of the warm embrace.

“Whatever,” he sniffed. “Let’s just go find Mr. Krabs.”

“Aye! Aye!” SpongeBob barked and ran to find his boss as he dragged Squidward and Patrick along. They soon found him.

Mr. Krabs was just where you’d expect him to be. “Come get yer Krabby Patties, steaming hot and packed full of nutrients!" he said to a growing crowd around the food court.

In a rush of excitement, SpongeBob hovered over his boss. “Mr. Krabs!” he said. “I can’t believe you got permission to sell my favorite food at the best amusement park in Bikini Bottom.” hearts surrounded his face which had materialized out of thin air.

Mr. Krabs’ dazzling smile faltered. “Er -- Well, permission is irrelevant in a situation like this,” he said. He put his claw around SpongeBob’s shoulder and held a Krabby Patty, waving it around the frycook’s face. “Glove Universe won’t come out of this business partnership empty handed.”

“You mean Glove Universe gets a cut of the profit?” SpongeBob asked. In his eyes, Mr. Krabs always knew what the right thing was for the Krusty krab. That’s what made him the best boss. There was, of course, the time he left the Krusty Krab in a pawn shop, so he could be SpongeBob and Squidward’s tour manager. Then there was the time Mr. K had made his millionth dollar and closed just so he could get revenge on a money snatching clam. During that clamming episode, SpongeBob also found out how good he looked in Coral Blue lip stick.

“I’m doing them an even better favor,” Mr. Krabs announced.

“Like giving the employees free patties?”

Before SpongeBob could ask another question, Squidward cut in with his signature sneer and nasal laugh. “Come on,” the cephalopod said. “Krabs doesn’t even give us a Krabby Patty without charging us. I’m sure the Krusty Krab’s wonderful gift to Glove Universe is relieving them of hungry paying customers.”

“Wow,” SpongeBob said, clasping his hands together. “That is so generous.” His genuine euphoria made Squidward wretch.

Mr. Krabs on the other hand, still looking nervous, decided to take the opportunity. “Aye! Me boy,” he laughed. “That’s exactly what I’m doing.”
Suddenly, a park security guard appeared, menacingly cracking his knuckles. “Sorry, bub,” he said, not sounding sorry. “Management doesn’t want you here.” With that, the security guard punched Mr. Krabs, sending him out of the park, landing in the ruins of Glove World. SpongeBob and Patrick kicked themselves over the fence before he could say anything to them, so the security guard turned to Squidward.

“Wait!” Squidward said, sweating profusely. “I can just use the exit.” The security guard ignored him and sent him flying as well.

The four of them sat in rubble. The only recognizable thing was a Glovey Glove mascot outfit and some stray hats. Patrick rummaged around in the garbage until he pulled out cotton candy.

“Nooo!” Mr. Krabs wailed. “Me money!”

“It’s ok Mr. K,” SpongeBob said. “I have a solution.

By the time the sun had completely set and the neon lights were flashing on the Wheel of Glove, SpongeBob rang the makeshift bell he had put together. “Order up,” he called out to the ruined theme park. The customers were no breathing fish but scraps that mildly resembled park goers.

“I knew I should have stayed in bed today,” Squidward moaned as Patrick chased Mr. Krabs with an empty money box. The grilled piles of metal gave him a headache as spongebob flipped them occasionally of a “stove”