Jjs Goodman Posted December 12, 2024 Posted December 12, 2024 This returns from previous years. Here are the rules: Submit a written winter/holiday themed work. It does not have to be specifically about Christmas or any holiday, it can be about winter in general. It does not have to be SpongeBob related. Your creation must at least be 100 words. Post it in this thread by December 29th. sbl, DarknessDG and Trophy will be the judges. The winner will receive 1,000 doubloons, 200 experience points and 20 snowballs. Have fun, and let the best writer win!
4EverGreen Posted December 20, 2024 Posted December 20, 2024 Here's my Christmas Story! I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it! / "Do They Know It's Christmas? Klopnodian Edition" / The camera opens up in the middle of a cold, snowy winter in Bikini Bottom, and there are a bunch of Christmas decorations hanging up in the shops, and around the businesses and homes of Bikini Bottom. Rube Goldfish is walking around, and he's taking a bunch of pictures of the scenery! Rube says: "Amazing!" Than he turns around, and seems to notice that there's a CAMERA looking at him! Rube says: "Oh, hello! I didn't see you there! This is my FAVORITE time of the year! There are carolers singing door to door, aquatic creatures building various snow creatures, seasonal holiday treats, and everyone looking forward to Christmas presents! But while Christmas has long been a staple around the Bikini Bottom, that hasn't always been the case all over the ocean! In fact, there was a time; not so long ago, where Klopnodia...Bunny's own home country, DIDN'T know what Christmas was at all! Would you like to hear the tale?! The camera turns around, and REVEALS that Rube has ACTUALLY been speaking to Squidward, and he sarcastically asks: "Do I have a CHOICE?!" Rube asks: "Do you want to get PAID for your appearance in this thing?" Squidward groans, and he says: "YES!!!!" Rube cheerfully says: "Than NO; you do not!" Squidward says: "I'll give you points for honesty!" Rube says: "In any case, this story might seem like it takes place a LONG time ago! But in fact, it was only as recently as SIX years ago, that Klopnodia didn't know what Christmas was at all! And you'll see everything that happened, EXACTLY as it happened! See how that works?!" Squidward sarcastically says: "I wish I didn't!" Rube chuckles, and he says: "You're FUNNY!!!!" Squidward seriously says: "I'm not TRYING to be FUNNY!" Rube says: "Too bad, because you are...to me; anyways! Now sit back, and watch the action unfold!" / The camera opens up to the timeline of six years ago, during the time "The Patrick Star Show" takes place. The words on the bottom of the screen even read, "Six Years Ago". The camera opens up in the "Near Mint Comic Book" Store, where Patrick is busy perusing through the many different comic books that the store has! Patrick says: "So many comics to choose from, so little money to buy them with!" Squidina is WITH him, and she sighs; and says: "Patrick, don't you think you ought to be shopping for Christmas presents for the family THIS year?! You don't want what happened the LAST time you had to use your time machine door to get Christmas presents at the LAST minute, do you?!" Patrick scoffs, and he says: "Shows what YOU know! For your information, I'm not GETTING Christmas presents at the last minute THIS year! I have clearly marked scheduled, on December 21; a full DAY of using the Time Machine to find Christmas presents not just for everyone in my family, but for ALL my friends as well! That way, I'll have plenty of time to pick the right ones; and wrap them up nicely!" Squidina actually THINKS about it, and she says: "Well...since this IS you we're talking about, that's STILL actually an improvement!" At that moment, Cecil and Bunny walk in! Cecil says: "Oh, there you are; Patrick and Squidina! What are you doing? We've got to get going!" Patrick asks: "Go where?" Bunny asks: "Don't you remember? We're going to my home country of Klopnodia! We're going to visit MY mom to celebrate her birthday happening on December 21." Grandpat walks in, and he says: "I DESPISE that old battle-axe! Not only is she RUDE to my only son, she FORCES everyone to celebrate HER birthday for an entire WEEK! What does she think HER birthday is, CHANNUKAH?!!!" Squidina says: "Um...I'm NOT sure you're supposed to spell that with a 'C'!" Grandpat says: "Well...in the ORIGINAL spelling, you do! I ought to know, I was THERE when that happened!" Grandpat WAITS for a while, but NOTHING happens! Grandpat asks: "WHAT?! No flashback?! I thought I had a flashback! Memory wipes aren't what they used to be!" Squidina says: "Looks like you're either going to have to do your shopping now, or wait until we get to Klopnodia." Patrick asks: "Than why not wait until we get to Klopnodia? We've NEVER really had the opportunity to shop around there! Besides, think of all the UNIQUE Christmas gifts I can get there!" Bunny is taken aback, and she says: "Oh, dear! Honey, I thought you told him!" And Cecil says: "Honey, I thought YOU told him!" Patrick asks: "Told me what?" Bunny blushes in embarrassment, and she says: "Oh, dear! This is...quite awkward for me to explain! You see, while Klopnodia is RICH in the many unique traditions such as Swaptoberfest and stuff like that; my home country...doesn't celebrate Christmas as such!" GrandPat says: "It doesn't celebrate Christmas at all! And it's all thanks to the battle-axe that IS Bunny's mother! And I can explain with a flashback!" GrandPat snaps his fingers, but STILL; nothing happens! GrandPat yells, and LITERALLY slams on the camera frame: "WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME SERVICE HERE?!!!" And the memory wipe FINALLY starts rippling, and GrandPat says: "That's better!" (Flashback) The camera is tinted in a 1930's black and white camera, much like the footage shown during the black and white segments of "The Little Patscals". GrandPat narrates: "You see, it was about 85 years; that Christmas wasn't celebrated over most of the world like it was today. While it started in Bikini Bottom thanks to yours truly...I'll spare you the details for ANOTHER day...it had to spread over the REST of the ocean naturally, and I couldn't very well keep TRACK of how it spread! In any case, one of the places it spread to was Klopnodia! Now, while I didn't personally find out about this until my son married Bunny; back than, Agnes...more than anything else in the ocean, wanted one of them brand new-fangled COLOR movie cameras, to show off her incredible witchcraft skills to the entire world! But Santa...didn't see eye to eye with what Agnes wanted, and gave her Silly Putty instead. Needless to say...Agnes didn't TAKE that well! She went on a crusade to have Christmas banned ENTIRELY from Klopnodia! If SHE couldn't get what SHE wanted for Christmas, than NO one in Klopnodia could! And unfortunately, she succeeded. Christmas was soon banned in the ENTIRE country of Klopnodia, and that's why every year; she tries to FORCE some of her own family members to celebrate HER birthday instead of Christmas, as some misplaced retribution for not being able to get what SHE wanted for Christmas!" (End Flashback) GrandPat says: "I just can't believe that Agnes is making US visit her THIS year! I figured she wouldn't take the RISK of having my SON around...no offense, Cecil!" Cecil says: "None taken, Dad!" Bubble Bass walks up, and he says: "An entire country that DOESN'T celebrate Christmas, all because of ONE single woman?! That is INCREDIBLY despicable!" Squidina asks: "Bubble Bass?! What are you doing here?!" Bubble Bass says: "I'm here, because this episode of your show...like so many OTHER episodes of your show, require a 'Contrived Coincidence' of SOME kind! And you're just lucky that for THIS episode, I just HAPPEN to be that fore-mentioned 'Contrived Coincidence'!" Patrick is confused, and asks: "A...'Contrived Coincidence'...what on Earth does THAT mean?!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, in this case; it means that my MOM wants to take me on a cultural trip to an exotic place...she thinks I NEED at least one! And since this is my MOM we're talking about...I can't really argue with her! But to take me to a place that doesn't celebrate Christmas?! I can't imagine such a thing! Now...while I NORMALLY, utterly DETEST you under the best of circumstances; due to the fact that this is a Christmas Special will miracles HAVE to happen, I'm willing to do something very special for you!" Grandpat asks: "And what does THAT mean?!!!" Bubble Bass THINKS about it, and he says: "You know, your voice sounds VERY familiar to me for some weird reason; but I can't figure out the reason why. In any case, because it's the spirit of Christmas; with MY genius, and your...actually HAVING a show of your own, I'm willing to upgrade you from 'Revolting' to 'Mildly Disgusting', if you're willing to combine forces with me!" Squidina asks: "And what do YOU get from it in return?" Bubble Bass says: "I will be able to sleep better, knowing that Klopnodia KNOWS what the true meaning of Christmas is all about...and the fact that I think it will put me on the NICE list for sure! At least I'm being HONEST about it!" Cecil says: "Definitely got to give him points for honesty!" Patrick asks: "So...if we're to bring Christmas to Klopnodia, what exactly is it that we need to do?" Bubble Bass says: "Luckily for you, that is something you DON'T need to worry about! I've got it all figured out! Since they don't have Christmas THERE; we need to bring Christmas to them!" Bunny says: "But our flight to Klopnodia is in 90 minutes! We don't have TIME to gather ALL the materials necessary to bring Christmas to Agnes!" Bubble Bass says: "Hello; Time Machine Door?! We simply go back into the past to grab all the materials that we need; than we go BACK to the present, and it will be as if no time has passed!" Squidina punches numbers on her calculator, and she says: "You know...that MIGHT just actually work!" Bubble Bass says: "Good! Besides, I've always been interested in taking a trip to the past! This is a good opportunity for me to do so!" GrandPat asks: "Are you even SURE this is a GOOD idea?!" Bubble Bass asks: "Why does your voice sound so familiar to me? In any case, it's CLEAR that when it comes to this show; it hardly matters what's a good idea or not. Any idea that's a BAD idea is ALWAYS undone whenever the NEXT episode happens, anyways!" Patrick says: "OOH...he's got you THERE; Grandpa!" GrandPat sulks, and he says: "I hate this show! And to THINK I signed a long-term contract that says I need to WORK on this show until the END of time...whenever THAT happens!" Squidina says: "Don't worry about it! Our time machine door has a unique feature; it only takes us to a VERSION of the past! Any changes we make THERE, won't affect the present in any way!" Cecil says: "That would explain why there are SO many details about our show that really conflict with each other...and yet, still don't by technicality!" Bubble Bass says: "Awesome! To your CAR mobile!!!! I always WANTED to say that line!!!!" / The camera cuts to the Star family boat, and Bunny asks: "How are we ALL going to fit into our boat? We usually don't TAKE extra passengers!" GrandPat sighs, and he says: "Well, might as well be relevant! I'm LITERALLY the world's OLDEST 'Tetris' master! It's time to put all those hours of playing that game to good use!" And to the tune of "Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairies", GrandPat...arranging Bubble Bass and his family like "Tetris" blocks, puts Squidina in the middle in the back, Bubble Bass on the right back side, Patrick on the left back side, Bunny on the front passenger side, and Cecil in the driver's seat! GrandPat happily says: "YES, I STILL got it!!!!" Squidina, squished; asks: "Grandpa, how are YOU going to fit in here?!" And GrandPat falls over in embarrassment, as the "Tetris" Game Over sound plays! Cecil says: "We'll come back to pick you up before we take off in the plane! We've only got 85 minutes!" And the rest of the Star family drives away, and GrandPat says: "HEY!!!! You forgot, ME!!!! DON'T forget ME!!!!" Than GrandPat sees the younger Squidward making his paper rounds, and GrandPat says: "Off of your bike! I need to borrow it so I can get home!" Squidward scoffs, and incredulously asks: "Borrow MY bike so that YOU can get back home? FORGET it!!!!" GrandPat seriously says: "I'll give you the THREE bucks that my son will NEVER pay you, if you let me borrow your bike!" Squidward says: "Sold to the star who has absolutely no chance of making it back home in time WHATSOEVER!!!!" And GrandPat hands over the three bucks, and Squidward hands over the bike! Grandpat says: "Shows what you know; I was a Daredevil motor-biker back in the 1970's! And I haven't lost my touch, yet!!!!" And to his credit, GrandPat DOES make a fast start...for a senior citizen, but he's STILL barely able to bike faster than someone walking! Squidward sighs, and he says: "It's going to be a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time before I get THAT bike back! At least my paper rounds are almost done for the day, anyways!" / The camera cuts back to the Star house, where Bubble Bass and the Star family wiggle OUT of their "Tetris" block shapes, and back into their normal forms! Bubble Bass asks: "Remind me to ask GrandPat how he was able to do that!" Squidina says: "Another time! Right now, Cecil and Bunny need to get all our stuff ready; and WE need to get all the Christmas stuff we need!" Cecil says: "We'll get right on it! We know you both well enough!" Patrick says: "Right! To the Time Machine Door!" And Patrick, Squidina, and Bubble Bass rush to the Time Machine door! Squidina says: "So many time periods to choose from, so not enough actual time to visit them all! Where do we even start?!" Bubble Bass says: "Logically, we should start at the beginning! And when we come to the end...we stop! See how that works? So...we should start where Christmas first STARTED becoming a big deal! In 1860's middle Sea England!" Patrick fires up the time machine, and punches up to the right spot! Patrick says: "We have GOT to have adventures TOGETHER like this more often!" Bubble Bass says: "As long as I get paid what is fair, I'm game for that! Now, let's go!" And they step into the time machine door, and it zaps them back into the past! / When the time machine door stops, they step out into 1860's middle Sea England! But Bubble Bass is APPALLED by the unsanitary conditions! Bubble Bass says: "BLEAH!!!! I forgot how UNSANITARY the past used to be, before the invention of PLUMBING!!!! How did creatures actually LIVE like this?!" Squidina says: "You can hardly talk! You usually never clean yourself up unless your mother makes you!" Bubble Bass says: "In my defense, I'm trying to SAVE water so that other creatures...like Sandy, can drink it!" Patrick says: "He kind of has a point there. Land creatures do need to drink...I know at least THAT much!" Squidina asks: "Why did we even come back here, anyways?" Bubble Bass says: "For two reasons. One, to get some Figgy Pudding...because I think Agnes WON'T stop bugging you until she gets some! Two, to get an original signed copy of 'A Christmas Sea Carol" from Charles Creekens! Ordinarily; we'd probably have to do an ENTIRE parody of that story...but I'm pretty sure THAT story has already been DONE FAR too many times to count, so we'll just skip that!" Squidina says: "Good call! But where are we going to get some Figgy Pudding?!" And Patrick inexplicably pulls out a bowl of Figgy Pudding, and Bubble Bass asks: "Where did you get that Figgy Pudding?!" Patrick says: "The same place I'm going to find the cherry pie that Squidward asks me for in the 'Spongebob Squarepants' season one episode segment, 'Squidward, The Unfriendly Ghost'." Bubble Bass says: "Well, THAT answer was maddeningly unhelpful! But at least you HAVE a place! Now, we just need a CONVENIENT looking orphan that can convincingly...convince, Charles Creekens to give us a signed copy of 'A Christmas Sea Carol' for free?" Squidina asks: "But why?" Bubble Bass says: "Well...unless you want to PAY for it, which SPOILER ALERT; we CAN'T; we don't HAVE 1860's Sea England currency, and they sure as HECK won't take any of OUR future currency; than YOU'LL need to put on a GREAT performance, Squidina!" Squidina nervously says: "But...I'm not USED to actually acting! I'm SHY!!!!" Bubble Bass asks: "You're STILL actually going with that?!" Squidina says: "Unless they ever re-do the opening segment to 'The Patrick Star Show', I technically have to!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, there's no WAY Charles Creekens will ever believe that someone as rotund as ME is an orphan! And unless you actually WANT to play 'Russian Roulette' or 'Disaster Dominoes' with Patrick, than it has to be you! You're going in there a nobody, but you're going to come back a STAR!!!!...Either way, you are! That IS your last name!" Squidina says: "Very true! I AM a Star! And I've always WANTED to try acting! Very well, this shall be my GREATEST performance!" / The camera cuts to the inside of a literature workshop, where a very BRITISH looking, middle-aged fish, is working on a book. The man reads what is written so far, and he reads out loud: "...'And, as Tiny Tim exclaimed; to all who were around'...Hmmm, what SHOULD I have Tiny Tim exclaim?!" Than Squidina walks in a crutch, wearing RAGGEDLY 1860's Sea English clothes, looking like she has just gotten out of the sea coal mines! Squidina coughs, and she says: "Please, kind sir; would you please spare me a book, so I can have something to give to my brother for Christmas? We're orphans, and we can't really afford anything!" The fish says: "Well, you ARE in luck! I am a VERY well-known author, and I'm almost done putting the finishing touches on a book right now! But...I'm having trouble coming up with the last line of it! I just don't know what Tiny Tim should exclaim!" Squidina thinks about it, and she says: "How about, 'Neptune bless us, everyone'?!" Charles Creekens thinks about it, and he says: "It works, it works; it WORKS!!!! Brilliant!!!! I KNEW I could finish 'A Christmas Sea Carol'! Uh...what's your name?!" Squidina honestly says: "Squidina!" Charles says: "Well, Squidina! The front of the book is dedicated to you!" And Charles signs the front of the book with the dedication! Charles says: "Take good care of that book, it's going to be very valuable someday!" Squidina says: "Thank you sir, I'm SURE they'll do at least one GOOD adaptation of your story someday!" Charles says: "One would be plenty enough for me!" Squidina walks out of the store, than when she's comfortably out of the store's sight, she takes off her disguise! Squidina says: "Wow! I can't believe I nailed that! Maybe I should do acting more often!" Patrick says: "That's one stop down! Now, where do we go?" Bubble Bass says: "Forward in time! To Bikini Bottom in the 1880's!" And they step through the Time Machine Door, and it zaps them again! / When they step out of the Time Machine Door, they are in Bikini Bottom in the wild west during the 1880's! Bubble Bass says: "What a difference a couple of decades can make! This place has plumbing! It's going to be BIG!!!!" Squidina says: "Too bad they still don't really have technology here; do you know how LONG it takes just a single PICTURE to be taken in the 1880's?!" Bubble Bass says: "Technically, yes; but lucky for you, we don't NEED to get our pictures taken! All we need is Bikini Bottom's very FIRST Sea Eggnog Shake, and Sea Gingerbread House! And luckily for you, I know where we can get both! The Krusty Kanteen!" Squidina asks: "First off, do we REALLY need to stick 'Sea' in front of EVERYTHING?! And how are we going to CARRY that stuff, anyways?!" Bubble Bass asks: "Do you want to move this story FORWARD?!" Squidina honestly says: "Yes." Bubble Bass says: "Than I'm SURE Patrick can SOMEHOW find an answer for that as WELL!!!!" And as if on cue, Patrick burps up a WHOLE working refrigerator! Squidina asks: "Patrick, why did you have an entire FRIDGE in your stomach?" Patrick says: "In case I get hungry! It's better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it!" Bubble Bass asks: "How were you even able to--?" Than Bubble Bass REALIZES what he's asking, and he says: "Nope, NOPE!!!! I do NOT need to know how or WHY you have a whole fridge in your stomach! The point is, we can carry our food in that!" Squidina says: "Good call!" And the trio walk into the Krusty Kanteen, and who should be working the joint except for SpongeBuck?! SpongeBuck says: "Order up! Two order of refried chili beans!" Bubble Bass says: "Well...mystery solved. Now I KNOW where Spongebob gets his cooking skills from!" Bubble Bass walks up to the counter, and with his BEST Western accent, he says: "Pardon me, hombre; I would like a sea gingerbread house, and your FINEST sea Eggnog shake!" SpongeBuck says: "I'm very sorry, sir. But we don't SERVE those things at this restaurant!" Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "Too bad, because I have a lot of MONEY; and I don't know where else to SPEND it!!!!" Spongebuck says: "Money?! Why didn't you say so?! My boss can't say 'No' to that! Lucky for you, we just got a whole SHIPMENT of sea gingerbread and sea eggnog in; and we weren't sure HOW we were going to sell it all!" Squidina says: "Man, can WE pick our lucky breaks, or what?!" Bubble Bass says: "STILL a more believable episode than the average episode of 'The Fairly Oddparents'...especially, the LATER seasons!" Patrick says: "No arguments, there!" SpongeBuck, working with skilled craft-work, quickly puts together a very FANCY looking sea gingerbread house! SpongeBuck says: "Voila! A sea gingerbread palace fit for a King! Now, to make my very FIRST sea eggnog shake!" And a familiar voice says: "Hold it right, there!!!!" And to everyone's shock, who should be DRESSED in Western clothes except for GRANDPAT?!!! SpongeBuck's knees shake with nervousness, and he says: "Oh, no! It's GRANDPAT, the KIDDER!!!!" Patrick asks: "GrandPat, the Kidder?" Bubble Bass rhetorically asks: "Would you rather we be LAZY and make the antagonist Plankton or something like we USUALLY do?" Squidina honestly says: "No; but why hasn't our Grandpa ever told us about THIS, yet?!" GrandPat says: "I don't tell everyone EVERYTHING, and ONLY when I feel like it!" Patrick says: "OOH; he's got us THERE, Squidina!" GrandPat says: "I'm taking Bikini Bottom's FIRST Sea Eggnog shake, and NOBODY is going to stop me!!!!" Bubble Bass seriously says: "I think I can stop you!" GrandPat asks: "Oh, really? And just HOW is THAT?!!!" Bubble Bass says: "There is literally no one in the entire ocean that can out-eat me, my stomach can handle anything! Doctors call me the 8th wonder of the under sea world!" GrandPat asks: "You THINK you're a champion eater?!" Bubble Bass seriously says: "GrandPat, I KNOW that I'm a champion eater!!!! Sir; what's the record for the most plates of Chili Beans ever eaten at this restaurant?!" SpongeBuck seriously says: "Nobody has ever asked ME that, before! To date? So far...four!" Bubble Bass says: "I can break it by FORTY!!!!" GrandPat says: "Nobody can out-eat me! And I'm NOT kidding about that!" Bubble Bass says: "Than let's make this interesting! Let's turn this into a DUEL of sorts! Let's have a contest to see who can eat the most plates of Chili Beans! And whoever gets to forty-four plates first, gets the FIRST sea Eggnog shake for FREE; the loser HAS to pay for EVERYTHING!!!!" Squidina asks: "Are you SURE that's a good idea?!" Bubble Bass says: "I don't exactly have a lot on my PLATE; but this is one thing I know I can EXCEL in!" Patrick says: "Can't argue with that. He's probably the only fish in the ocean that can out-eat me!" GrandPat says: "This ought to be interesting! I haven't had an interesting fight since I fought in the Klopnodian Civil War twenty years ago! You're on! Order UP!!!!" And SpongeBuck quickly dishes up 44 plates for both GrandPat and Bubble Bass! GrandPat asks: "You think you're tough?!" Bubble Bass scoffs, and he asks: "You're kidding, right? Do you have ANY idea on the types of food I can eat where I come from? This is a PICNIC in comparison! Speaking of, think you can eat it without any milk?!" GrandPat says: "Milk is for wimps! I eat my chili WITHOUT handicaps!" Bubble Bass seriously says: "Me, to!" Squidina sighs, and says: "Well, might as well make the most of this occasion! Time to put my piano playing skills to good use!" And Squidina walks over to the piano, and starts playing a dramatic tune! And GrandPat and Bubble Bass start digging into their many plates of Chili Beans! Despite being a LOT older, GrandPat seems to do a pretty good job of keeping up with Bubble Bass! After ten plates each, neither of them show any sign of slowing down! At around the sixteenth plate, GrandPat starts to groan, and says: "Come on, body! Don't stop now! I've got a CONTEST to win!!!!" But Bubble Bass starts to pull ahead, and he says: "While you're only having sixteenth's, I'm having 23rds!!!!" GrandPat asks: "Is there an Antacid store around here? Has THAT even been INVENTED yet?!!!" And GrandPat struggles to make up lost ground, but Bubble Bass keeps chowing down, and he's onto his 30th plate! GrandPat is REALLY starting to feel the effects of the chili, and he sourly says: "My body just CAN'T take the heat like it used to! I can't BELIEVE that I can handle only 22 plates!" Bubble Bass says: "Too bad, so sad! More food for me!!!!" And Bubble Bass finishes his 40th plate! Patrick says: "Only four plates left, he's going to do it!" Squidina says: "Maybe, but can his CLOTHES take it?!!!" And they look, and see that Bubble Bass' clothes is being stretched to his breaking point; GrandPat is DESPERATELY trying to mix up SOME kind of beverage to cure his belly ache, but Bubble Bass keeps EATING!!!! Bubble Bass says: "One plate left...better eat it down all at once!!!!" And Bubble Bass dumps the entire plate in his mouth, and GrandPat gasps in astonishment, and he says: "He DID it!!!!" But sure enough, Bubble Bass' body gets TOO big, and he BREAKS through his clothes! Bubble Bass says: "Darn it! They just don't make clothes in my SIZE, anymore!" Patrick says: "WOO!!!! You know how to LIVE!!!!" Bubble Bass asks: "Do you really think so?" Patrick says: "Sure. I run around naked at home all the time. It's nothing!" Squidina sighs, and says: "It's true. Although all things considered, there are far WORSE things he could...but doesn't...do than THAT!!!!" SpongeBuck builds up an outfit made out of sea gingerbread, and he says: "Wear this, sir! My boss has a strict policy of 'No Clothes, No Service'...unless you HAVE enough money!!!!" Bubble Bass puts on the sea gingerbread outfit, and he says: "Much obliged! A deal is a deal, GrandPat; pay the man!" GrandPat groans, as he takes out a bunch of money, and he says: "Oh, I guess crime truly DOESN'T pay!!!! There goes all the money I've ever gotten from robbing banks! I guess I'll go try and find the Fountain of Youth! Maybe it will make me young again!" And GrandPat leaves, and Patrick says: "Well, now we know how GrandPat got to be a kid in the 1930's!" SpongeBuck whips up his sea eggnog shake, and he says: "And here you go, Bikini Bottom's very first sea eggnog shake, to go!" Bubble Bass puts it into the refrigerator, and he says: "Much obliged! OH; and if someday, your family has a guy named Spongebob, and if he someday has to serve food to a rude customer named Bubble Bass who may or may not hide the pickles under his tongue...just let Spongebob know that Bubble Bass didn't MEAN to make Spongebob lose his confidence, he was just trying to figure his OWN life issues out!" SpongeBuck looks unsure, but he says: "I'll...be sure to keep that in mind!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, we got what we came for!" Squidina asks: "Where else do we need to go?" Bubble Bass says: "Just one more stop before we go back to the present! The North Pole, the 1930's!" Patrick asks: "Why?" Bubble Bass says: "You'll see!" SpongeBuck THINKS about it, and he says: "Hey, WAIT!!!!" But as he runs outside, he sees Bubble Bass, Patrick, and Squidina have already ENTERED the Time Machine Door, and it zaps away! SpongeBuck says: "They...left without even telling me any of their names! I don't think this place will see another eater like THAT for about 120 years!" / The camera switches to the North Pole, in the 1930's! Patrick looks at the MASSIVE assembly line the sea elves have built, as they are working on all the FINEST toys the 1930's can offer!!!! Patrick says: "This place is already so amazing! I can't wait to visit THIS place again!" Squidina seriously says: "I'm sure you can't! Are we picking up a bunch of presents, here?" Bubble Bass seriously says: "Tempting...but this is a Christmas special, so we're going to do the RIGHT thing! We're not asking for Christmas presents for us; we're asking them for our families...and, to put Agnes on the 'Nice' list!" Squidina genuinely says: "Wow! That really IS selfless of you! You really DO care!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Of COURSE I care! I just act like I DON'T most of the time! How else do you explain how I'm able to keep such a loving relationship with my mother?" Patrick says: "I was starting to wonder." Squidina asks: "But where are we going to FIND the big guy, anyways?!" Bubble Bass looks around, and he sees an emergency box lever, and Bubble Bass reads: "'In case of emergency, pull to summon sea reindeer!' Works for me!" And Bubble Bass pulls the lever, and it causes an alarm to blare and sound! And eight sea reindeer come rushing in! They shout: "I'm Sea Dasher!" I'm Sea Dancer! I'm Sea Prancer! I'm Sea Vixen! I'm Sea Comet! I'm Sea Cupid! I'm Sea Donner! I'm Sea Blitzen!" Squidina asks: "Where's Sea Rudolph?" Bubble Bass says: "Oh, he won't be born until 1939; a common thing that MANY don't know!" Squidina seriously says: "You have SERIOUSLY got to go on 'Sea Jeopardy' someday!" Bubble Bass says: "Probably!" Sea Donner asks: "What's the big emergency?" Bubble Bass says: "We have a genuine Christmas emergency! It's...kind of hard to explain!" Sea Dasher asks: "Let me guess; you three are really from the future, you needed to come back into the past to ask gifts for your friends and family, and you need to talk to Santa in order to do that!" Squidina says: "NO!!!!...Sorry, REFLEX!!!! I meant, 'Yes!' How did you...?" Sea Dasher says: "I'm SEA Dasher!!!! Hello!!!! Traveling super-fast is kind of my specialty! I sometimes go out shopping, and because I travel much faster than light, I often find myself returning on a PREVIOUS night!" Patrick says: "Well, that WOULD explain just HOW Santa can get presents to EVERYONE on a single night!" Sea Comet says: "Don't worry about it, you'd be SURPRISED how often we get cases like this!" Bubble Bass says: "With this show, I don't really doubt ANYTHING anymore!" Sea Donner says: "Don't worry, we'll get you to see Santa! Sea Blitzen, take these three there!" Sea Blitzen says: "With pleasure! It's time to make sea deer tracks! Hold on, tight!" They all get on, and Patrick asks: "Where are the seat belts?!" Bubble Bass says: "Those won't be mandatory in vehicles until the 1960's! Thank you, Ralph Nader!" Patrick says: "I'm starting to understand just WHY GrandPat is so grum...PY!!!!" And they rush off to Santa's office, and in a few seconds, they have arrived at Santa's door, and Sea Blitzen knocks on it! Sea Blitzen says: "Santa...three emergency Christmas cases to take care of!" And with John Goodman's voice, he says: "Send them in!" Bubble Bass asks: "John Goodman's voice?...Actually, I can TOTALLY see that!" And they go into Santa's office, and the are AMAZED by just how big and jolly Santa really is! Squidina says: "WOW!!!! He's even bigger and jollier in person!!!!" Santa says: "Well, to be fair; the cameras ALWAYS take off at LEAST ten pounds!" Bubble Bass says: "Let's cut right to the chase! We need...a Christmas miracle of sorts!" Santa says: "Well...Christmas miracles our kind of my specialty! Who do you need it for?!" Patrick says: "It's...kind of complicated! You see...right now, I need a Christmas miracle for Agnes! She's my Grandma on my mother's side...I mean, she WILL be! Man, time travel tense can be SO tricky!" Bubble Bass says: "We're not asking you to put ANY of us on the 'Nice' list this year; we're asking you to put Agnes on the 'Nice' list this year." Santa says: "But Agnes IS on the 'Nice' list this year!" Squidina asks: "Than WHY were you planning on giving her Super Putty instead of the color movie camera that she asked for?!" Santa seriously says: "Do you have ANY idea how EXPENSIVE one of those things currently are?! We might have magic, but even WE have to be practical!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, that DOES explain quite a lot when it comes to people asking for what they want!" Squidina says: "Well...can you at least EXPLAIN it to Agnes when you give her the Silly Putty? Give her a card for her to read FIRST that explains the situation!" Santa says: "Of course I will! Just know, that I can only do HALF of the Christmas Miracle work! The other half will have to come from the three of you!" Bubble Bass says: "I...had a feeling that you would probably say that!" Santa says: "That's because the three of YOU are really smart cookies!!!!" Patrick says: "I like cookies!!!!" Santa sighs, and he says: "Well, two out of three ain't bad! Anyways, I can tell you have already went to an awful lot of trouble to come here; at least let me give you some Christmas decorations and stuff to take to Agnes." And Santa waves his hands, and produces a magic box, filled with ALL the Christmas stuff they could ever need! Bubble Bass says: "Thank you, Santa! I'm definitely going to owe you one!" Santa says: "Just lighten up on Spongebob more often, and we'll call it even!" Bubble Bass seriously says: "I'm definitely going to work on that!" Santa says: "Now, go back to your own time and place! I've got Christmas to deliver!" And Patrick, Squidina, and Bubble Bass all say: "Yes, sir!" And they all step through the time machine door, and it zaps them away! Santa sighs, and he says: "So shines a good deed, in a weary world." / The Time Machine door zaps the three back to the present! Bubble Bass says: "Wow! We actually accomplished everything we set out to do!" Squidina looks at her watch, and she says: "WOAH!!!! And not a lot of time to spare! We only have 44 minutes left before we have to get to the plane! I guess Santa's magic must have interfered with the Time Machine door's abilities!" Patrick says: "You know, you and I make a pretty good team; Bubble Bass." Bubble Bass says: "As much as I hate to admit it, we actually do!" Patrick asks: "So, do I get my upgrade?!" Bubble Bass sighs, and he says: "Yes, you get your upgrade! You're no longer 'Revolting' anymore. You...are 'Mildly disgusting'!" Patrick happily says: "That's the BEST thing that you've EVER called me!" Squidina says: "The best thing he's ever called you so FAR!!!!" Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "It's a fair cop! So much for the EASY part! Now, the rest is up to us! Let's do what we can for Agnes, and hope that Christmas comes to Klopnodia!" / The camera cuts to the plane taking off from Bikini Bottom, and in the fashion of the "Indiana Jones" movies, it shows the airplane making its route from Bikini Bottom, all to the country of Klopnodia! When everyone gets out of the plane, Momma Bass smells in the nice, clean air, and she says: "We are HERE!!!! Isn't it everything I said it would be?! You should be lucky that we're able to go on a trip like this...especially since you finally made a new friend in Patrick!" Bubble Bass seriously says: "Well...'FRIEND' is such a strong word..." than Bubble Bass genuinely says: "...But for what it's worth, I WILL consider him an 'Acquaintance'!" Patrick claps his hands together, and he says: "YES!!!! We're 'Acquaintances'! How long until we become friends?" Bubble Bass says: "Eh...we'll probably save that for our NEXT Christmas special! You got to leave SOMETHING for the sequel!" Agnes arrives, and she's looking VERY regal! Cecil says: "Agnes, it's SO good to see you; again!" Agnes smells him, and she says: "You don't SMELL as dumb as you USUALLY do! I SUPPOSE it's an improvement!" Cecil says: "It's just soap!" Agnes says: "Like I said, most impressive!" Squidina says: "Hi, Grandma!" Agnes happily says: "THERE she is! There's my GENIUS grand-daughter! And who's this fine gentleman with you? Has he lost WEIGHT?!!!" Bubble Bass seriously asks: "Have we MET?!!!" Bunny asks: "Why are you in such a good mood, today?!" Agnes says: "Well, it's because you're here to help me celebrate my birthday!...And, the fact that I got a letter from Santa 85 years ago, that I've been instructed to not tell ANY of you about until now!" Patrick says: "Wow! I can't believe that actually worked!" Agnes gets out the letter, and she reads it aloud: "'Dear, Agnes...' And Santa's voice simultaneously joins her, and they both say: '...I know you may feel like I ignored you this year, gave you less than what you asked for, or made you feel like I didn't appreciate what you have done. But I want you to understand something, Christmas is SO much more than the presents you get, what you want, or even why you do the things you do. Christmas is about giving selflessly to others, putting others before yourselves. And most importantly, Christmas is about spending time with those who would CARE for you...if you give them the chance to! Most are genuinely trying their best, and deserve the chance to be loved, the way they love you. And remember; Christmas is not judged by how much you get...but by how much you GIVE, in return!" And Agnes finishes reading, "'Signed, Santa!' I'm sorry it took me so long to realize the true meaning of Christmas! Let's put this whole nonsense behind it! I believe the ban on Christmas in Klopnodia has lasted...long enough!" And Agnes waves her wand, and suddenly, Klopnodia is FILLED with Christmas stuff all over the town! Cecil claps his hands, and he says: "Good call! Let's give it up for the wise and generous Agnes!" Agnes says: "You know, I could grow USED to this praise!!!!" Than suddenly, they hear GRANDPAT huffing and puffing on his bike, looking all sweaty! Squidina shockingly says: "GRANDPAT!!!! I can't BELIEVE we forgot him!" Bubble Bass says: "I can't believe he managed to get all the way here on his OWN...on just that BIKE!!!!" Cecil says: "Talk about a Determinator!" Grandpat wheezes, and he says: "You...DITCHED me back in Bikini Bottom!" Squidina says: "We had a LOT to think about, Grandpa! You know we would never do that on PURPOSE!" GrandPat says: "Wait a minute! I recognize that big fish, now! You're the guy who BEAT me all those years ago in Bikini Bottom! I didn't think there was anyone BESIDES Granny Tentacles who could come anywhere close to matching ME in longevity!" Bubble Bass says: "I'm not THAT old YET!!!! It's a...long story!!!!" GrandPat says: "Yeah, Patrick and his time travel door!" Patrick says: "What matters is, you're here now. And Agnes has GRACIOUSLY lifted the ban on Christmas in Klopnodia!" GrandPat seriously asks: "She HAS?!!!" Agnes says: "And furthermore, I would be completely WILLING to forgive you for the part you PLAYED in the Klopnodian Civil War...IF you promise to behave yourself!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Unless you'd like me to out-eat you again?!!!" GrandPat nervously says: "No, no! That won't be necessary! I'll behave myself!" Momma Bass asks: "Out-eat him?" Bubble Bass says: "Like I said, it's a...long story! But isn't that part of what Christmas is all about? Long stories?" Momma Bass THINKS about it, and she says: "Well, kind of!" Patrick says: "Well, on that note; I guess there's only one thing left for this Christmas special to do! Time to give EVERYONE the SONG that we promised!" / The camera cuts to inside a studio, and the footage looks like a 1980's music video! Spongebob Squarepants, Patrick, Bubble Bass, Squidina, Cecil, Bunny, Agnes, and GrandPat all take turns singing a version of "Do They Know It's Christmas?" / Spongebob sings: "It's Christmas time. There's no need to be afraid. At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade." Bunny sings: "And in our world of plenty, we can spread a smile of joy. Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time." Patrick and Bubble Bass sing: "But say a prayer. Pray for the other ones. At Christmas time it's hard, but when you're having fun." Bubble Bass and Cecil sing: "There's a world outside your window, and it's a world of dread and fear. Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears." GrandPat and Cecil sing: "And the Christmas bells that ring there, are the clanging chimes of doom." GrandPat sings: "Well, tonight; thank Neptune it's them, instead of you!" Bunny and everyone else sings: "And there won't be snow in Klopnodia, this Christmas time! The greatest gift they'll get this year is life! Oooh! Where little ever grows, little rain or rivers flow. Do they know it's Christmas time at all?!" Squidina and Agnes sing: "Here's to you." Spongebob sings: "Raise a glass for everyone." Squidina and Agnes sing: "Here's to them." Spongebob sings: "Underneath that burning sun!" Spongebob, Squidina and Agnes sing: "Do they know it's Christmas time at all?" Everyone sings: "Feed the world! Feed the world! Feed the world! Let them know it's Christmas time again! Feed the world! Let them know it's Christmas time again! Feed the world! Let them know it's Christmas time again! Feed the world! Let them know it's Christmas time again! Feed the world! Let them know it's Christmas time again! Feed the world! Let them know it's Christmas time again! Feed the world! Let them know it's Christmas time again!" / The camera cuts back to Rube, and he says: "And that is the story, on how Patrick, Squidina, and Bubble Bass; were able to bring Christmas to Klopnodia! Now, that was a TRUE story...because..." And he looks up at Bubble Bass, who's together with a grown-up Mo, and Rube says: "...Well, just because!" Mo says: "Oh, have you been telling people all about the time that Bubble Bass saved Christmas AGAIN?!" Squidward angrily says: "Yes!!!!" Bubble Bass groans, and he says: "Oh, get over yourself! It's not MY fault you never did anything impressive enough to make a woman actually LIKE you! Come on, Rube! We've got Christmas to celebrate!" And Rube says: "Amazing!!!!" / And the camera wipes to a snow wipe, and the special ends! / Episode Notes: Set in the continuity of "The Patrick Star Show", this special features "Call Forwards" to "Pickles; Squidward, The Unfriendly Ghost"; and "Swamp Mates". It is revealed that in the future, Bubble Bass will marry Mo, and their son will be Rube Goldfish! Featured song in this episode, a "Spongebob Squarepants" version of "Do They Know It's Christmas?"
Steel Sponge Posted December 30, 2024 Posted December 30, 2024 The Truth of Gold T’was a normal day at the Krusty Krab, when all through the day, not a Plankton was scheming, but customers were there to pay. It all seemed to be a normal day in Bikini Bottom, but the only difference was that it was winter, which of course was required to set up this story. Mr. Krabs, once again, was keeping the thermostat untouched and charged customers to be able to keep themselves warm. “Darn that crummy cheapskate for not heating up the restaurant during the coldest months,” the grouchy octopus cashier named Squidward complained. “It sure would be nice if I had some gold and then I’d never have to work again.” “If I had some gold, I’d have me business blooming,” Mr. Krabs remarked. “Why are you two talking about gold all of a sudden? Is it time for another one of our wacky adventures?” SpongeBob asked. “It would be an adventure that I would want no part of,” Squidward jeered, “but it means being far away from you, I’ll take a prospecting job in a heartbeat.” “Nice try Mr. Squidward, but the Yukon Gold Rush has been a long gone era and the deep blue has never felt a money craze of that sort of magnitude for ages.” Mr. Krabs replied. “Besides, if there is gold, I ought be the first person to know…” As tempting fate would have it, two oddly specific incidentals came bursting through the doors of the restaurant to conveniently share their exciting news. “Hey everybody, we found gold!” Nat announced. “Yeah right, you’re pullin’ me pegs!” Mr. Krabs argued. “Come and see it for yourselves and you’ll know that there’s no fooling!” Evelyn added. “Well, what are all standing here for, boys? Let’s peep this out!” Mr. Krabs said as he dragged his two employees to the site where the gold was found. As Mr. Krabs and his crew had arrived at the spot, they were already met with a large crowd, forcing Krabs to tunnel through, using his pincers like a pair of buzzsaws. “Look at that beauty, boys,” Mr. Krabs remarked as he and his employees got a closer look at the excavation filled with gold. “Soon, it will be all ours.” “What do you think we’ll do with all that gold, Mr. Krabs?” SpongeBob questioned. “I’m seeing so many dollar signs just thinking about all the ways that I could use this gold, I can hardly contain meself!” Mr. Krabs said. “I think there’s plenty enough gold to share with everyone else, do you think so, Mr. Krabs?” SpongeBob added. “Who said anything about sharing the gold, boyo?” Mr. Krabs replied as his head creepily turned 360 degrees towards SpongeBob like an owl. “With all this gold, I could press them into tributes of the $50 buffalo gold coin and sell them to suckers who’ll think it’s the real thing, struck from .9999 pure 24 karat gold and all.” “That’s a lot of nines.” “Yes, that’s four nines, boyo, and not only will I be the richest crab in the world, I can turn me restaurant into a conglomerate...no, I can make it an empire!” “I’m sure that sounds nice for you, but Bikini Bottom has a serious shortage of health clinics and recreational services for pets and children, so I think the gold could be put to good use for helping them, and we can use the rest of that wealth to give food and shelter to the homeless.” “…That be the dumbest idea I ever heard from you, boyo.” “I’m pretty sure everyone else has already thought of dumber ways to use up that gold,” Squidward remarked. “Look at all that gold, Karen. If we could get our hands on it all, we can run Krabs out of business in an instant!” Plankton said. “Didn’t you tell me yesterday that you had your single-celled eye on that anniversary USB drive?” Karen deadpanned. “Oh, but I...uh, wouldn’t forget to spend some of it on you, my darling,” Plankton replied. “I could finally buy all the things daddy wouldn’t let me have!” Pearl remarked. “I say, I think all that darn gold could make good use of bein’ spent for scientific research,” said Sandy. “Why, with that much fortune, maybe we could cure any disease! Although…I ain’t should be getting myself too greedy, but my treedome could use an expansion of sorts so I could have more room for my experiments.” “I don’t know what it is, but I want to exchange it for all the dried-up caramel in the world!” Patrick declared. The crowd of Bikini Bottomites continued to ramble on about what would they would plan to use the gold for, until a landowner stood in front of the gold mine alongside Nat and Evelyn. “If I could have everyone’s attention…” the landowner announced, “as it should appear, since these two were the ones who had discovered the gold, I’ve ultimately decided that I bestow this gold mine to them.” After a collection of groans and jeers from the crowd, they would be silenced once again as Nat gave himself the chance to speak… “Citizens of Bikini Bottom, we hear your concerns,” Nat spoke, “We know how much you all wanted a piece of this gold mine. Evelyn and I have decided…” “...We’ve decided that we’re going to keep this gold all to ourselves, suckers!” Evelyn finished. Nat and Evelyn’s statement was met with a wave of angry banter, while SpongeBob and Squidward watched as their boss’ spirit sank, frozen from his immeasurable disappointment. “Hey, wait a minute, that’s the guy that you bribed to say that he liked my chum!” Plankton said to Karen. “Why does he and that other background character get all the gold to themselves?” “Did you think he was going to share the gold with you?” Karen argued. “Well, that was the biggest waste of eleven minutes I’ve had all day,” one of the incidentals remarked as the crowd left the excavation site in disappointment, leaving SpongeBob, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs by themselves. “What’s wrong with Mr. Krabs?” SpongeBob asked. “Whatever it is, I want no part of it,” Squidward remarked. “Boys…” Mr. Krabs said with gritted teeth, “I have a very important job for the both of ye…” “What is that, Mr. Krabs?” SpongeBob questioned. “We’re going to take away all that gold from those two no-good freeloaders,” Mr. Krabs continued, “and we will not stop...until WE GET WHAT’S OURS!” “And what do you want us to do about it?” Squidward pointed out. “I don’t even know who those two nitwits are. For all I care, they can just keep the gold.” “You know what, Squidward? I’ve changed me mind about not sharing the gold with SpongeBob or ye,” Mr. Krabs replied. “Besides…if you help me, I can help achieve your dream of being a world famous clarinet player, or whatever it is that’s got your head in the clouds.” “What’s in it for us? How much of the gold will you promise to give us?” “How’s about this? You and SpongeBob can keep one percent of the gold.” SpongeBob and Squidward shook their heads with a ‘I don’t think so’ type of scornful look. “How about I double that offer?...Triple?...Okay, fine, I’ll split it 25 to 75.” “That sounds generous enough to me,” said SpongeBob. “So, what’s our plan?” “Plan, who said anything about having a plan, boyo?” Mr. Krabs asked. “Coming up with a detailed plan is past me own budget.” “Well…I do have one idea. We could ask Nat and Evelyn nicely if they could give us the gold,” SpongeBob suggested. In an instant, SpongeBob was shown to have confronted Nat and Evelyn in front of the gold mine they were keeping watch of. “Hey Nat, hey Evelyn, I hate to pile this on you, but my boss, Mr. Krabs would really love to have the gold that you found, so I needed to ask, would you be willing to give it us?” SpongeBob asked. Nat and Evelyn looked at SpongeBob, then at each other, and burst into spiteful laughter. “Wow, get a load of this guy, Evelyn! Oh, please, please, can we please have your gold?” The last sentence Nat uttered in a mocking tone. “Yeah, run along, short-stuff, we found this gold together, so it’s ours, and ours only!” Evelyn tormented. “Like they always say, finders keepers, losers weepers!” Nat teased. SpongeBob sadly walked back to Mr. Krabs to inform him that his attempt at a civil compromise didn’t work. “Big deal, if they’re not going to be civil, then we’re just going to have play dirty!” Mr. Krabs said. “I’m going to bring out the big guns for this one!” It was then that Mr. Krabs’ attempt of plan was to have his whale daughter Pearl show up in front of Nat and Evelyn. “Hey, daddy says he wants you two to give him the gold, or I’ll have to make things difficult,” said Pearl. “Oh yeah, and what are you going to do about it?” Evelyn asked. Pearl then proceeded to assault the two with her signature wail. However, Nat and Evelyn were able to ignore her crying by plugging up their ears until Pearl couldn’t cry anymore. “Cry all you want, but we’re not letting up,” said Evelyn. “Better luck next time,” Nat tormented. “Hey, why didn’t you come back with me gold?” Mr. Krabs asked Pearl. “Forget the gold, dad! You should be getting me some eye drops!” Pearl scowled. “Okay, if that’s how it is, then we’re just going to have rely on dirtier schemes,” Mr. Krabs said while rubbing his claws together. “If we can’t get Nat and Evelyn to move, then we’ll make them move, and I just thought of the best possible plan to do that, ar-ar-ar-ar!” “Nope, no way, I refuse to comply…” said Squidward. SpongeBob and Squidward were then shown carrying a large cake towards Nat and Evelyn. “A cake, just for us?” Nat wondered. “Wait a minute...what is in that cake?” Evelyn asked. “All the ingredients of an ordinary cake, I’m sure,” “It’s got buttercream, candles...frosting, and absolutely nothing inside of it that’s suddenly going to take take away all your gold. It’s specially made just for you two, so don’t worry about sharing!” “Wow, you didn’t have to do this for us,” said Nat. “Mr. Krabs said to tell you that this is his way of saying sorry for all the times he tried to steal away the gold that you both deserved to keep,” SpongeBob replied. “No, I mean you didn’t have to this because we already have the precautions to make sure there isn’t attempts of betrayal of sorts.” Evelyn said as she sent called for a pack of guard worms to inspect the cake. SpongeBob and Squidward then both exchanged looks of instant regret. “So what of cake is this anyway? Crab cake? As you should know, they have a pretty good nose for crabs,” Nat taunted. With no other option than to reveal himself, Mr. Krabs popped out of the cake. “If you were expecting me, then ye’d be right! There’s nothing in it except a gold-snatching crab and some explosives!” On cue, the cake exploded right in Mr. Krabs’ face before he could be able to do anything. “SpongeBob...I thought I told ye to set a timer for that,” Mr. Krabs deadpanned. “Chase em’ way, guys, make sure they never get anywhere near our gold again!” Evelyn instructed towards the guard worms, prompting for the Krusty crew to run off and brainstorm yet another plan. “They’re just going to keep all that loot to themselves and I won’t sleep until I get it all of their greedy little fins,” said Mr. Krabs. “What are we going to do now, boys?” “What can we do? You were so petty that you had to resort to recycling one of Plankton’s schemes,” Squidward pointed out. “That’s enough backtalk from you, Mr. Squidward,” Mr. Krabs replied. “I’d hate to do this, but there’s one other method we can use to trick Nat and Evelyn into giving up their gold. We’re just gonna have to scare it off them. SpongeBob, you know those cheap costumes from our last Krustoberfest we kept in the supply room?” “Huh? But I thought this isn’t a spooky-themed story-” SpongeBob said. “No, I mean, we’re going to have to drag out the Dickens,” Mr. Krabs clarified. Minutes later, the Krusty crew were prepared to launch their next scheme unto Nat and Evelyn when they approached them in costume. “Nat...Evelyn…you two have both met a terrible fate,” said Mr. Krabs. “I be the Ghost of Bank Statements Past to warn you of what will become of your lives if you kept the gold.” “We know it’s you, Krabs,” said Evelyn. “Oh yeah, then how do you think I know about what happened that fateful day when you called the firemen to save your little Jimmy from a fire?” Evelyn let out a small gasp and responded, “You did?” “Oh I know many things that happen to people who will lead a miserable life,” Mr. Krabs continued. “Nat, I know for sure how guilty you must feel for the one time you wasted all your money on Plankton to contract food poisoning to prove a certain someone right.” “Even if you are really Mr. Krabs, then feel free to enlighten us. Why you think we don’t deserve all this gold,” said Nat. “That’s where one of my other ghostly pals will have to come in.” “Hello, I’m Johnny the Ghost, I’m a wisecracking, trumpet-playing friend!- I mean, I also happen to be the Ghost of Money Present,” SpongeBob said. “I am here to remind you of the harsh realities of when you don’t share the gold to other fish. There are plenty of children and animals in need of the gold, just like this fellow named Tiny Tim…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcSlcNfThUA “No, wait, not that Tiny Tim, I meant this guy!” SpongeBob corrected, showing Squidward dressed in the specific attire, with one of his tentacles on a crutch and all. “Food, shelter, medicine, nourishment! All those things that I need to make myself better and be able to walk with all tentacles like normal again! But alas, I’m afraid that I don’t have much time left to live in this world, and it’s all because no one could give a single dollar to poor ol’ me…” Squidward acted out in his usual over-dramatic flair. “So, have you both changed your minds about the gold yet? Yes or no, we can all agree that you wouldn’t want to have to consult the Ghost of Money Future…” Mr. Krabs warned. On cue, SpongeBob’s pet snail, Gary slithered over to Nat and Evelyn while donned in a black cloak, letting out a single and solemn ‘meow.’ “So, what do you say? Will you put an end to your greedy ways?” Mr. Krabs inquired. Nat and Evelyn looked at Mr. Krabs and then at each other, once again letting out a laugh. “Yeah, right, like anything bad will happen to us,” said Nat. “What’s next, you’re going to tell us that our terrible fate will be getting crushed by our own gold? Evelyn joked. “You don’t even care about the dire consequences of your selfishness, or of the unforeseeable future?” Mr. Krabs asked. “Yeah, we are jerks, and so what about it? Most people in Bikini Bottom are,” Nat replied. “We found the gold and we decided that we’re going to keep it. Deal with it,” said Evelyn. “I’ll make ye deal with it!” Mr. Krabs provoked as he lunged toward the two greedy fish. “Mr. Krabs, I don’t think that was in our script,” SpongeBob intervened. Before any violence could be dealt, however, they were all met with the landowner. “Break it up, all of you, I hate to make this confession now, but it appears that there was never any gold,” he said. Mr. Krabs, Nat, and Evelyn, all froze with disbelief, with the crab then saying, “What...what do you mean there was no gold?” “Look for yourselves,” the landowner continued as he showed the group the spot where all the gold was struck, being completely emptied out all of sudden, with nothing in sight except a certain pink starfish, feeling dizzy from a full stomach. “Turns out all that gold was actually a giant pile of dried-up caramel.” “It was all so...delicious,” Patrick groaned. “It was a bunch of worthless caramel and no one bothered to correct us on that?” Nat rejoinders. “I’m no gold expert, I just owned the plot of land that supplied it,” the landowner ensured. “You should all go home now.” The group of characters just sat in silence in misery over all the time they had wasted fighting over dried-up caramel that was now all inside Patrick’s stomach. “Hello? Can somebody help me?” Patrick asked. “I’m feeling kinda hungry again. I don’t think there was enough salt in that caramel.” Finally, SpongeBob spoke, “So...what have we learned?” “Absolutely nothing,” Squidward deadpanned. “Well, we did have ourselves yet another wacky adventure we could look back at fondly,” SpongeBob pointed out. "I guess you could say that was...the truth of gold!" “Put a sock in yer mouth, boyo,” Mr. Krabs chided. Because there was no other better way to end this crazy tale, the story ends with SpongeBob, of course, putting a sock in his mouth. 1
Jjs Goodman Posted December 30, 2024 Author Posted December 30, 2024 The judges have decided and Steel's story wins! 4EverGreen also got snowballs for participating.
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