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Community Deathmatch 10th Anniversary

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April 22nd officially marked 10 years since the first episode of Community Deathmatch dropped. So just like I did with the SpongeBrawl 10th anniversary, I did my damnedest trying to update the very first Deathmatch for modern SBC audiences on WWE 2K22! I was originally gonna have it just be a Last Man Standing (keeping opponents down for a 10 count is the closest thing to simulating death in this game), but the match I ended up getting out of it was boring and ended on a very anticlimactic note. So I just ran it through a trio of way better Extreme Rules matches, with the winner to be decided by a “Best 2 Out of 3 Deaths” stipulation (just imagine the referee’s 3 count as being the loser’s final three gasps for air). Unfortunately, there will be none of that vintage Jjs & OMJ commentary accompanying it. My setup is just my PS5 at the moment and that’s it. Apologies to anyone who might’ve been looking forward to the chances of that happening. I honestly wouldn’t blame you if you just left now lol. Without any further ado, LET’S GET IT ON!

(An Updated Tale of the Tape)


Join Date: January 23, 2010
Group: Lavender
Others: Retired Employees
Active Posts: 18,439
Profile Views: 281,623
Member Title: FOLKS
Age: 27
Birthday: June 19, 1995
Gender: Male
Interests: steppin on the beach
Location: That’s not a state! It’s a Canadian Province!
Favorite Episode: Dying for Pie
Favorite Character: Puff Mama


Join Date: November 1, 2009
Group: Retired Employees
Others: None
Active Posts: 12,838
Profile Views: 154,012
Member Title: None
Age: Unknown
Birthday: January 1
Gender: Male
Interests: None
Location: Unknown
Favorite Episode: None
Favorite Character: None


and hell, here’s the last man standing match that I thought was bad as a bonus


When creating the looks for tonight’s combatants, I just tried basing Wumbo’s model on his Lego Great Gatsby-looking avatar because I sure as shit have nothing else to go off of. George Costanza maybe? Fuck! That would’ve been better. I’ll keep note of that for the 20th anniversary, maybe. Wumbo’s ring gear is a weird fusion between between Bret Hart and Jeff Jarrett’s. For tvguy, since he has no avatar, I just went with the first thing I think of whenever I hear his current username Ron; Ron Swanson. And his outfit feels like the closest thing I can make to a cable guy’s outfit, though he probably looks more like a janitor lol He has a chainsaw in his entrance as a fun little tongue in cheek reference to him using a chainsaw to help him win in the original pilot. Chainsaws aren’t a weapon in this game, so that was the next best thing to get that representation in there. Each of their color schemes are based on their current username colors. I ended up going with the 2 out of 3 stipulation because each match had a little bit of something that I wanted that the other two didn’t quite deliver. Like Alejandro only actually showing up in the third match when I wanted him to show up sooner lol and tvguy actually using a sledgehammer like he did in the original pilot.

And I think that’s a wrap on this celebration of Deathmatch’s first ever episode! But not necessarily the end of this thread quite yet. I think, with the help of WWE 2K22, I have one more NEW piece of Deathmatch content left in me. But that’s for another day, not too far away. I hope y’all found some enjoyment in this even though it’s not quite the complete “remaster” I would’ve liked for it to be. You know, I said before that I’m not proud of everything I did when making this lit, and I still feel that way, but it was still pretty a big ass part of my “history” here on SBC and I’d be remiss if I didn’t give it the same executive treatment that I gave Skodwarde for his anniversary. Send it off on a better note than I did the first time. I hope you’ll join me soon for what will more than likely be my final farewell to Community Deathmatch!

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Spent majority of last night whipping up a lil something special for me birfday. A little gift to myself and whoever else might still be interested. The subject of today’s Deathmatch proceedings has always been kind of precarious, to the say the least. It was always something I wanted to tackle for this show, pretty sure I dedicated a few moments from a couple episodes that were meant to build up to it, but the nerves from pissing people off even more led to those plans ultimately falling through through the cracks and I never entertained the idea again. It involves a little group called “The Fantastic Five”. I’m sure a good percentage of people who end up reading this know the story, but if not, there’s a still wiki page for it last I checked. Missed opportunity to strike while the iron was hot? Sure. But it was one of the very few moments where I reigned myself in for Deathmatch. Each of The Five’s Deathmatch careers moved forward with varying results. Some stuck around the Deathmatch scene to varying results separately, some disappeared from the show entirely, and others continued chugging on calling and writing the show.

I think we’ve put enough distance between now and then. I think the community has endured through conflicts and cliques that were much worse. So I’m thinking I might finally break the chains off this little embargo and make this shit happen right here, right now in the year of our lord 2023, baybay. Jjs, hit that shit for me one time!

Jjs: Five long-storied friends become five long-storied rivals, all vying for the same prize! Here tonight, on Community Deathmatch!

Jjs: You heard that right, Deathmatch faithful! All five members of The Fantastic Five are here in the same building, at the same time! Who knows when the hell that happened last? 2013 turntable?! Fate once tore them apart. Now fate looks to bring them back together with one goal in mind; the prestigious Fantastic One Championship! Five will enter, only One shall leave with ALL the gold! Tonight, we will finally, truly answer all the tough questions we’ve spent literal years waking up in the middle speculating on; Who is the better friend? Who is the better enemy? We can’t really answer “just who has the least life left in them?” because at least four of the five have since moved on to lead normal lives, but at least we can rest peacefully knowing just which one will stand above the rest! I think that’s enough dialogue for one birthday special. Let’s head down to the ring to begin tonight’s formal introductions!

Jjs: And officiating tonight’s Fantastic Five Finger Deathmatch will be none other than WWE 2K22’s Japanese Referee!

The following tab contains a spoiler room brawl spoiling tonight’s winner, so watch before reading on. Or you can choose not to and earn my respect.


Jjs: SAUCE MAMA MIAAAA! OH MY! Sauce Mama has single-handedly knocked down her competition like fucking dominos! None of us were expecting a display of absolute power quite like that! She was the obvious underdog, the one most likely to be written off! She WAS unceremoniously written off all those years ago, never to be seen or heard from on Deathmatch again! Until now… From fake to absolutely LEGIT! She came back to realize her full potential and to prove that she is as existent as her eye lashes! Sorry, Sauce, we just had to fit one more in there! Does anyone here remember the ending of It Chapter 2? Well just throw Sauce Mama in there because now she is the one Pennywise should fear! Keep Gollum’s creepy ahh the fuck away because SAUCE is the one to rule them all! The Undisputed Fantastic One! And with all of that being said, we are all out of time! I’m Jjs Goodman saying “Good Fight, Good Night!”

And holy shit, that is a wrap on one of the most anticipated Deathmatches of our lifetime, surely! I tried basing everyone’s look on their current avatars. Except for me, because I don’t currently have one and I needed to make an Old Man Jenkins for SpongeBrawl anyway. Everyone had maxed stats, just different classes. So I better not hear “rigged” months from now! I must’ve ran this match through the simulation at least 10 times, just to find that one perfect match to post ya know. I actually ended up winning the first match, which was why I decided to rerun it in the first place. I don’t wanna have myself win even tho it was technically the computer that came to that conclusion for me. But I simply could not ignore or deny the dominance that took place in this particular one (it was the only match that resulted in a clean sweep), so I just had to make it the canon ending. But don’t worry, I preserved the other, let’s just call them “alternative routes” for posterity’s sake. Consider it little something extra just for my birthday. That and to not completely waste all of the footage.

I hope this was as fun for y’all as it was for me. I hope that the other Five might see this in the future and we can all have a nice laugh about it. We fucking did it, guys! Years in the making, baybay, years in the making. I still have one more thing I wanna post here before I close the book on Deathmatch for all time. I probably should’ve reserved this for last, but that’s just exactly what a member of The All Exclusive Fantastic Five WOULD do. Hope you stay tuned, Deathmatch faithful!


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Jjs: 8 whole death matches spread out across two action-packed nights! It’s the beginning of the end, beautiful friends. We hope you join us as we say one our final goodbyes. Starting tonight, on Deathmatch Forever!

Up first, is a deathmatch that Jjs had suggested that I do for years. After the clunker of a Deathmatch that I forced him into during the original series finale, The Greatest Deathmatch Ever, I’m gonna do right by him this time and finally

give jjs what he wants! And that’s not all! To level up this dream match even higher, the winner shall be crowned SBC’s first-ever Mainest Admin!


Our second featured Deathmatch of the evening rekindles the flames of an old rivalry from almost 10 years ago, which single-handedly got an entire discussion thread locked down that heated summer in 2013! Both of these competitors were previously featured on the show before, but never together, oddly enough. One of them never even competed in an actual Deathmatch, that is UNTIL NOW! The ghosts of Wrestling threads past has come back home to roost. Who will finally be the one to SUCK DICK?


Our semi-main event for the evening features a competitor who recently celebrated an accomplishment and another who believes that such a reward shouldn’t be bestowed upon somebody who so clearly hate the very thing that this community is built on. For the first and last time ever, the title of Featured Employee will be put on the line! These risen stakes only begs the question…


And for our main event here on Night 1 of Deathmatch Forever, we will finally see a years-long storyline to its proper conclusion. It is a storyline that encapsulated the entirety of Community Deathmatch Season 3 and pretty much had the show in a stranglehold. Battle lines were drawn and threats were thrown around as work turned into shoot and the entire community was sucked in to defend Deathmatch from forces that sought to shut it down forever. About half a decade or so has passed since the events of that neverending story arc, and from its ashes, a redemption story began to unfold before our very eyes. As the redeemer started to flourish, Deathmatch’s run began to wither and die. As the dark prince opened himself up to newfound allies, the king of death isolated himself on his island of irrelevancy. Accepted by all but one, the redeemer seeks to atone for past sins by daring to step foot on that island and re-entering the devil’s playground, the very place that gave him so much grief, in order to finish his story. But as Community Deathmatch can attest to, not all stories have a happy ending.


come back tomorrow for the butt-pounding conclusion of Community Deathmatch!

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Last night, the Mainest Admin was decided, a storm came to pass, our Featured Employee defended his crown and a redemption arc finally came full circle! What could possibly be left for us here on Night 2? Find out tonight, on Community Deathmatch!


Our first match of the evening gives us our first ever encounter between two of the Community’s finest content creators. For years, they’ve captivated members around the world with their well thought opinions on a variety of topics. Every single list they’ve made has all been canonically building up to this. Tonight, we’ll see who truly ranks above the other. Who will ascend the charts? Who will take the #1 spot? Who will be crowned SBC’s undisputed King of Lists!?


Last night, terminoob turned jjs’ dream match into a nightmare, earning himself the right to be called Mainest Admin. Before termi could think about returning home with his prize, a new challenger appears hoping to succeed where jjs couldn’t. After years spent on the sidelines. After years of being beaten to death with the cameo shtick. JCM arrives in full to solve the riddle that is terminoob and to cement his legacy as a manager for this community. Will The Snark Knight rise to the occasion, or will he just be another noob that’s been termi’d?


A break-in had occurred at the abandoned Deathmatch Arena in the years since the initial Deathmatch finale back in 2020. The only thing of value that was reported stolen was the old, retired Best Member championship belt. It remained missing ever since, until now. Resurfacing for the first time since 2019 (in DM years), Deathmatch’s very own answer to Paul Heyman, Tropical Nards appeared to OMJ with the belt in hand. Nards confesses that his newest client committed the deed to prove once and for all that he is “pound-for-pound SBC’s Bestest Member ever”. But with Deathmatch returning for one more run, Nards wished to issue an ultimatum on his client’s behalf; “Let’s finally give this belt a proper home. I’ll send out my top dog if you send out yours!” With Deathmatch’s tacked-on legacy at stake, OMJ scrambled to find a member worthy of such a (dis)honor. But unbeknownst to his oblivious ass, he might’ve just booked a Deathmatch that’s been a long time coming!



Official Deathmatch correspondent with the dead, CF, uses the blood of an elastic dog to perform an ambiguous ritual that brings both jjs and OMJ back to life. Jjs questions her motives, to which CF replies that she’s “simply following orders”. OMJ reveals that he arranged for this to happen in the event that either of them didn’t survive Night 1. With the final Deathmatch upon us, OMJ thought it only made sense that it finally came down to them. The match multiple people were calling for back in 2013. Jjs points out that the two of them having just lost to termi and Hawkbit back-to-back kind of diminishes the value, but OMJ tells jjs that the stakes couldn’t be higher. OMJ proposes that if he loses, Community Deathmatch will forever remain a memory, no matter the occasion. Future anniversaries be damned. Jjs argues that they should be calling the final Deathmatch together but OMJ assures jjs that they’ll just call it as they go “just like all the greats”. Community Deathmatch needs to go out strong or not at all. Neither man wants the other to hold back. The result is ultimately for fate and WWE 2K22 to decide.



Jjs eventually puts his thumbs downs away and asks CF for her microphone.

jjs: Goshdangit old man, you know just how much I’d hate to leave things on that kind of a note. This is the reason we re-did that original finale in the first place. How are you gonna leave me here alone to wrap this up nice? There wasn’t a better way to end it, I know, but still, it fucking sucks. It’s been an honor, old friend. It’s been that and so much more. I can go on, but folks, “we’re all out of time!” On behalf of Old Man Jenkins, and everybody who helped bring Community Deathmatch to the dance! I’m Jjs Goodman saying Good Fight, Goodbye!


And that’s a wrap on this 10th anniversary celebration! Hopefully it turned out better than the last series finale because that’s all I have left in me! This was a fun ride while it lasted. I only wish I discovered the concept of having wwe games simulate matches for me sooner, maybe Deathmatch would’ve had a better 2017-2019 that way. I know this lit probably embodies a lot of the worst things about this site during its tumultuous run, and I wouldn’t blame anyone for thinking that or for souring on it in the years since. I know I’ve soured on it. And I know I’ve probably annoyed everyone enough with my wrestling obsession all these years, but writing this shit really became such a big part of my online life here. Bigger than I’d honestly like to admit. The only reason I joined this site was simply to find a place where I can express myself and post whatever stupid thing that came to mind to anyone that was willing and open to entertain my stupid ideas. And I thank you all for entertaining each and every one of my stupid ideas. Truly. I admit, there were times when this lit very much was a vanity project and there were times where I wrote things just to impress a certain group of people or to intentionally get a rise out of others for the sake of keeping the “creative well” from going dry. I know I wrote some things that shouldn’t’ve even been posted. And I apologize deeply to anyone who were ever once offended by anything that I wrote. I know I preface every episode of Deathmatch by saying “IT’S JUST POSTS” but words can still hurt and even influence, no matter the intent. But through all of that, I hope some of you were still entertained somewhere along the way. Until the next post, Deathmatch faithful. Whatever that may be. Good fight, good night!

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