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Patrick Star in the Multiverse of Madness


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A spiritual successor to The Silly Adventures of Patrick Star, Patrick and his friends have to stop an interdimensional rift from destroying everything.

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Act I

(Patrick is eating breakfast with his parents and sister Squidina in the Star family house.)

Patrick's dad: It's so great to have you here on time for once, Patrick.

Patrick's mom: Yes, you're becoming more of a man every day, son.

Patrick: (with his mouth full) These pancakes are delicious!

Patrick's dad: Some of your best work, Bunny.

Patrick's mom: I love to hear it, Cecil.

Patrick: Bunny? Cecil?

(Patrick swallows the rest of his pancakes then points his fork at his "parents".)

Patrick: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

(Cecil and Bunny hug each other.)

Bunny: Cecil, I'm scared.

(Suddenly, another Patrick walks down the stairs.)

Patrick 2: Sorry I'm late for breakfast again!

Patrick: Who's that handsome fella?

(Cecil faints in Bunny's arms.)

Squidina: Holy fish paste! There's two of you!

Patrick 2: What are you talking about, Squidina? He looks nothing like me!

Patrick: Yeah, I don't wear a shirt!

Squidina: There's only one logical explanation for this: an interdimensional rift must have taken a version of my brother from a parallel universe and sent him here!

Patrick and Patrick 2: Huh?

Squidina: I need to find Sandy! She'll understand this a lot better!

(GrandPat walks into the kitchen.)

GrandPat: What's all the commotion about?

(GrandPat notices the second Patrick.)

GrandPat: Oh, heck no! I'm way too old for these multiverse shenanigans! Wake me up when this is over!

(GrandPat leaves. SpongeBob walks into the house moments later.)

SpongeBob: Hello, Patrick and...Patrick? Oh, Neptune! How long have you had a twin?

(Squidina facepalms.)

Squidina: He doesn't have a twin, SpongeBob. The second Patrick is from another universe.

SpongeBob: Oh! Like that issue of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy where they have to team up with their Silver Age counterparts to take down the Abominable Eight!

Squidina: Yeah...something like that. Anyway, we need to talk to Sandy to figure out a way to send them back. Think dad will be okay, mom?

Bunny: Oh, yeah! He just needs a few minutes of rest. You kids go along.

(SpongeBob, Squidina, and the Patricks leave the house, and they notice a large red hole in the sky sucking up everything that comes near it.)

Patrick: Hey! There was something like that over my rock! I thought it was a bagel, and when I touched it, it brought me here!

Squidina: You thought that was a bagel?

Patrick: A big, scary bagel, but the big, scary things are usually the tastiest!

Patrick 2: This guy knows his stuff!

Squidina: Come on. We're almost at the treedome.

(The four walk into Sandy's treedome to find Sandy working on an invention.)

Squidina: Hi, Sandy! Whatcha doing?

Sandy: I'm building a machine that will cure my eyesight so I no longer have to wear these blasted things!

(Sandy pushes up her glasses and turns around. She gasps when she sees the two Patricks with SpongeBob and Squidina.)

Sandy: How was this done? Cloning?

Squidina: No! That second Patrick came from a parallel universe!

Sandy: I can't believe this. Parallel universes have only existed in theory until now. Patrick of all people being the first to discover one is very surprising.

Patrick 2: And why is that?

Sandy: Because you're an idiot.

Patrick 2: (nods) Fair.

Sandy: I have to study this further. We must dissect this second Patrick.

(Patrick shivers.)

Squidina: Instead of doing that, can we just send him to his old universe?

Sandy: (sighs) Fine. How did he get here?

Squidina: Through that rift in the sky.

(Sandy leaves her treedome with the others and looks at the hole in the sky with intrigue.)

 Sandy: I'll need to do some experiments first, but getting Patrick back home may be as simple as putting him in that rift.

(Sandy takes an acorn out from under her suit.)

Sandy: This acorn has a tracker in it. After throwing it through that rift, I'll know everything about where it ends up.

(Sandy throws the acorn as hard as she can through the hole. She then takes a device out and reads the findings on it.)

Sandy: This is strange. It detects...a third dimension.

(Suddenly, a CGI-animated Patrick falls from the hole and lands in front of Sandy, SpongeBob, Squidina, and the Patricks.)

Squidina: What the?

(Patrick 2 vomits.)

SpongeBob: No! Not my new shoes!

Patrick 3: Where am I? Why is everything flat? (rubs head) And who threw that acorn at me?

Sandy: I'll answer that and more! But first...let's get everybody in the treedome before we spook any passersby the same way was just spooked Patrick.

Patrick, Patrick 2, and Patrick 3: Which one?

Sandy: This...will take some getting used to.

(End of Act I)

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Act II

(Lego versions of SpongeBob and Patrick are working at a construction site in the city of Brickini Bottom.)

Lego Patrick: (sighs) This job is so exhausting, SpongeBob!

Lego SpongeBob: I know, but when we're finally good enough to become Master Builders, it will all be worth it!

(Suddenly, a giant hole appears in the sky above them.)

Lego Patrick: What's that?

Lego SpongeBob: Don't touch it, Patrick!

(Lego Patrick's eyes sparkle as he stares at the hole in the sky.)

Lego Patrick: But it's...so captivating.

(Lego Patrick grabs Lego bricks from the construction site and uses them to build a staircase.)

Lego SpongeBob: Patrick, no!

(Lego Patrick reaches for the hole in the sky from the top of his staircase, and within seconds, he's sucked in.)

Lego SpongeBob: Patrick!

(In the Patrick Star Show universe, Patrick, PSS Patrick, and CGI Patrick are in Sandy's treedome with SpongeBob, Sandy, and Squidina.)

Sandy: So wait, you're telling me that you met your Sandy at summer camp when you were a kid?

CGI Patrick: Yeah!

Sandy: And Treedome Enterprises was willing to send a critter that young underwater?

CGI Patrick: I have no idea!

Sandy: (scratches chin) Interesting.

(Suddenly, Lego Patrick falls out of the hole in the sky and lands right in front of the treedome.)

Squidina: Another Patrick!

Sandy: How many of y'all are out there?

(In a darker version of Bikini Bottom from a different universe, a hyper-realistic Patrick walks past many failing buildings until he sees one with a number on its door that he recognizes.)

Realistic Patrick: Here it is.

(Realistic Patrick walks into the building and sees several fish inside it smoking cigars and playing poker.)

Realistic Patrick: Hello. I'm wondering if there's anyone here who has seen a friend of mine. He goes by the name of SpongeBob.

(As soon as the fish hear that name, they all pull out their guns and point them at Realistic Patrick.)

Realistic Patrick: It seems I've struck a nerve.

Voice: Hey, hey! Put that shit away!

(The owner of the voice comes out of another room to reveal it's a hyper-realistic SpongeBob. The fish put their guns back into their pockets and resume playing poker.)

Realistic SpongeBob: Sorry about that. We have some bad people after us, so we can never be too careful.

Realistic Patrick: It's good to see you again, anyway.

Realistic SpongeBob: So, are you here because you're ready to join the business?

Realistic Patrick: (shakes head) No. Drugs destroyed this city. If you went out once in awhile, you would see it. Kids addicted to whale blubber, people shooting up in the streets. I'm not here to join but to beg you to shut the operation down. Haven't you made enough money from it?

Realistic SpongeBob: There's no such thing as "enough money". Sandy's pregnant again, didn't you hear?

Realistic Patrick: She is? Damn, I thought she dumped your ass by now.

Realistic SpongeBob: She's more understanding of what I do than you are. I'm trying to provide my kids with life I could never have. I want them to move a better city, go to a good school, become doctors, lawyers, start families of their own, and to allow them to do that, I've gotta keep the business going.

Realistic Patrick: Come on, SpongeBob. You and I both know this isn't about the kids. You've been doing this for so long you don't know what else to do. You caught lightning in a bottle, cooking up shit nobody in this town ever tasted before. And you're afraid to drop the spatula and move onto something more respectable.

(Realistic SpongeBob turns around and thinks for a moment.)

Realistic SpongeBob: Maybe I am. It doesn't matter. I ain't shutting the business down, and if you think I am, you need to get those thoughts out of your head right now.

Realistic Patrick: Then you can have this back.

(Realistic SpongeBob turns around to find a ring with "BFF" engraved in it in Realistic Patrick's open palm.)

Realistic SpongeBob: (gasps) Our friendship ring!

Realistic Patrick: I can't be friends with somebody who continues to hurt people.

(Realistic SpongeBob takes the ring, and his eyes fill with tears as he looks at it.)

Realistic SpongeBob: Fine, then. Leave and don't come back, cause next time my people are preparing to blow your brains out, I won't intervene.

(Realistic Patrick leaves the building and goes into his apartment building several blocks away. He's about to go to sleep in his room on the 21st floor of the building when he notices something outside the window.)

Realistic Patrick: What the hell?

(Realistic Patrick opens the window and sees clearly that it's a large red hole floating in the space in front of him. As he gets closer to it, he feels it pulling him in, and before he can get away from it, the hole consumes him and spits him out into the Patrick Star Show universe. Sandy and Squidina run to him and cover their mouths in horror once they see his face.)

Realistic Patrick: Where am I? And why's everything look like a comic strip?

Squidina: (whispering) This is definitely the ugliest Patrick.

Realistic Patrick: Hey! I heard that! And you're no spring chicken, yourself!

(Realistic Patrick stands up and brushes himself off.)

Sandy: Welcome to our universe! You're the fourth Patrick to come from that rift in the sky today, so we think something big is about to happen that involves y'all!

Realistic Patrick: Fourth Patrick?

(Patrick, PSS Patrick, CGI Patrick, Lego Patrick, and SpongeBob join them.)

Realistic Patrick: Yeah, screw this. I'm out.

(Realistic Patrick jumps as high as he can, but he can't reach the interdimensional rift.)

Realistic Patrick: Can somebody give me a hand?

Squidina: No can do! Before we send you back to your universe, we have to find out why you and the other Patricks were sent here!

Realistic Patrick: Maybe this all is just a coincidence.

Sandy: I thought that could have been a possibility after the third Patrick, but now it's obvious this is anything but coincidence, and we're going to get to the bottom of it!

Realistic Patrick: We aren't going to do anything!

(Realistic Patrick grabs Lego Patrick and sticks his head into the ground.)

Lego Patrick: Help! I don't consent to this!

Realistic Patrick: I'm getting away from this freak show!

(Realistic Patrick jumps onto Lego Patrick and reaches for the hole in the sky. Before he's able to enter it, a UFO flies out of it, knocking Realistic Patrick off of Lego Patrick.)

SpongeBob: What the?

(The UFO's window opens to reveal a frog with two faces inside of it.)

Frog: Good! Everyone's here!

Squidina: Who are you?

Frog: I am Ianus, King of the Multiverse. I've brought these five Patricks together to help me stop the man who created this interdimensional rift you see behind me.

Sandy: Why does it need to be Patricks?

Ianus: Because, dear Sandra, it's a Patrick that we're fighting.

(End of Act II)

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Act III

(Ianus circles the five Patricks in his UFO.)

Ianus: Yes, yes, you'll do fine.

Realistic Patrick: What do you mean "it's a Patrick that we're fighting"? One of us created that rift?

Ianus: Yes. You see, in the trillions of universes out there, every single one has its own Patrick Star. You all come with a unique ability to mold the universe you're in and even travel between universes, but only one of you has actually discovered this ability, and unfortunately, he does not seek to use it for good.

Squidina: What's that Patrick trying to do?

Ianus: Destroy the multiverse using its own energy. That rift takes in energy from every universe it appears it, and it appears in a new one every second. Once that rift is in enough universes, it won't be able to contain all of that energy, exploding and turning every universe that has ever existed into little more than space dust.

SpongeBob: Neptune! That's awful!

CGI Patrick: Why would one of us want to do that?

Ianus: I haven't spoken to this Patrick, but I imagine he's given up on life and wants to take as many lives as possible with him.

Realistic Patrick: And how are we supposed to stop him?

Ianus: Since a Patrick opened the rift, only a Patrick can close it, but it's so powerful by now that we'll need up to five of you to close it successfully.

(The original Patrick looks at the others.)

Patrick: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's save the multiverse!

PSS Patrick: Yeah!

CGI Patrick: Yeah!

Lego Patrick: Yeah!

Realistic Patrick: (rolls eyes) Whatever.

Ianus: All right, get in. There's enough room for all of you.

(The Patricks jump into the UFO, and Ianus flies it into the rift, leaving SpongeBob, Sandy, and Squidina behind.)

SpongeBob: I hope they come back okay.

Sandy: I still can't believe any of this. There's a multiverse, it's ruled by a two-headed amphibian, and the most important person in every universe is Patrick? The book I write about this will make me rich!

Squidina: If you live to write it, anyway.

Sandy: (nervous) Y-yeah! If I live to write it.

(Ianus lands with the other Patricks in a universe where everything is chrome.)

Lego Patrick: Where are we?

Ianus: This is the original universe. The one that started it all.

(Ianus points to a large chrome statue of a Patrick wearing no clothes.)

Ianus: This Patrick died thousands of years ago and is currently worshipped as a god.

Patrick: Why? He doesn't even know to wear pants!

PSS Patrick: And I thought we were dumb!

Ianus: Every universe is different, Patricks. Now let's focus on what we came here for.

(Ianus and the Patricks walk through the streets, which are littered with the bodies of dead animals.)

Patrick: What happened here?

Ianus: The people of this planet attempted to create a device that would allow them to travel between universes many years after their Patrick died, but without a Patrick to assist them, the device failed horribly, wiping this planet's population out. Many other people in many other universes have tried the same, but without a Patrick's help, they all met a similar fate.

PSS Patrick: Man, we must be really important.

Ianus: Indeed, you are.

(CGI Patrick notices Realistic Patrick keeping his distance from the others. He slows down until he and Realistic Patrick are beside each other.)

Realistic Patrick: What do you want?

CGI Patrick: You seem lonely. Do you want to be friends? We have so much in common!

Realistic Patrick: No thanks, Stop Motion Patrick.

CGI Patrick: Hey, I'm not stop motion! That's Lego Patrick!

(Lego Patrick turns his head without moving the rest of his body.)

Lego Patrick: Did somebody say my name?

Realistic Patrick: Don't freakin' do that! That's weird as shit!

Lego Patrick: You swear a lot.

Realistic Patrick: Well, I'm a grown-up. That's what we do. Now, look at where the hell you're going.

(Lego Patrick frowns and turns his head again.)

CGI Patrick: Why don't you want to be friends with me? Is it my breath? I probably shouldn't have had those fried oyster skins for breakfast.

Realistic Patrick: Your breath certainly isn't helping, but it's mostly that...friends inevitably disappoint you. I'm better off without them.

Ianus: We're here.

(Ianus and the Patricks approach a large building.)

Ianus: This is where the device was built and likely where that rift came from. 

Patrick: Do you think that evil Patrick is in there?

Ianus: I know he is, so make sure you're on your toes.

Patrick: But I don't have toes!

Ianus: You know what I mean!

Patrick: Not really.

Ianus: (sighs) Just be careful.

(Ianus and the Patricks walk into the building to find a Patrick wearing the original Patrick's pants with a black shirt facing away from them, typing into a keyboard connected to a big machine which is connected to an even bigger monitor. The monitor contains several small lines of code beneath a large, constantly increasing number.)

Evil Patrick: I was wondering when you'd show up.

(Evil Patrick turns around to reveal that his face is also similar to the original Patrick's but with a mustache.)

Patrick: Oh, man! I could never grow a mustache!

Ianus: Step away from the machine, Evil Patrick.

Evil Patrick: Is that what you're calling me? I wouldn't say it's wholly inaccurate, but it's also not very original.

Ianus: We're closing that rift.

(Evil Patrick pulls out a knife.)

Evil Patrick: No...you aren't.

(Ianus charges at Evil Patrick and misses every knife strike before knocking the knife out of his hand and pinning him to the ground by his neck.)

Evil Patrick: (hoarsely) It's too late! We've already reached the inflection point of 300,286 universes with a rift!

Ianus: Really?

(Ianus looks at the monitor with one face to find that the number on it is 300,285. Evil Patrick discreetly pulls a second knife out of his shirt and stabs Ianus with it before his second face can respond.)

Evil Patrick: No, but we will now!

(Evil Patrick pushes Ianus off him and presses the Enter button on the keyboard, causing the number on the monitor to increase by one before flashing red. The other Patricks watch in horror as Ianus lays bleeding and unresponsive on the floor and Evil Patrick stares at the monitor with a huge grin on his face.)

Evil Patrick: The resetting of the multiverse...has begun.

(End of Act III)

 

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