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(credit to Local for this movie’s snazzy banner!)

June 10 officially marks Skodwarde’s 10th anniversary here on SBC, and jjs and I have decided to celebrate it with our own fucked up take on the recent movie, Sponge on the Run! (About two years is a long enough time to break our promise about how there’d be no more after the original series finale, yeah?) 

Jjs and I have both been hard at work for about half a year or so crafting a good enough story to really send our favorite squid nazi out the right way. We hope readers of the original series, and maybe even some newbies, will join us for Skodwarde’s end!

And be sure to keep a look out for all the cuh-razy foreshadowing going on, as we look to meticulously hammer home the fact that this spin-off is getting a spin-off! Just because Skodwarde’s meeting his end, doesn’t mean we can’t stop milking the vast universe he leaves behind! It’s free real estate, pal! And Puff Mama’s got bills to pay, so you know her ass will settle for anything!

Part 1 of this 10-part miniseries total immersion event will be posted just in time for The Spin-Off Festival 2021 by the one and only, jjsthekid! And remember! He’s watching.

(Couldn’t afford to make my own version, and I just have no musical talent whatsoever, so just listen to this and replace every “Band” with “Skod”)

 

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Here we go. Buckle up, this is going to be quite a ride.

Skod on the Run Part I: Skod Wick 2077

A dreary cyberpunk city is shown, known as Skod City, two years after the events of the Skodwarde finale. After the end of his acclaimed show, Skodwarde started to get bored, needing to continue his legacy in some way, so he began to try his hand (or tentacle, heh) at spin-offs through multiple dimensions. The first of which being Skod Wick 2077, starring Keanu Reeves himself! The spin-off is about the adventures of Keanu Reeves in a dystopian city, combining elements of Cyberpunk 2077 and John Wick together into one gift wrapped package. With star power like that, what could possibly go wrong? Unfortunately, the launch of this spin-off world did not go quite as Skodwarde had hoped due to a multitude of bugs, causing a frustrated viewer base and earning it a ton of mocking memes. Thus, he put a trusted companion in charge of the world while he was off attending other multiverse matters: an alternate version of Sandy Cheeks, created fresh from the god power lab! Alt-Sandy fixed all of the bugs, much to Skod’s pleasure, but she felt the world needed to go a step higher for evolution. She eventually started to go a bit further beyond what Skodwarde had imagined. She made the city become entirely dependable on robotics for even the most minuscule tasks, and turning most of the civilians into robots. Alt-Sandy called this her transformative procedure in order to achieve eternal life, so that she can continue to preserve her illusion that there is no afterlife and therefore nothing greater out there that’s beyond their understanding. This included deleting all traces of religion from this world, seeing the concept as “stuck in the past”. Alt-Sandy ruled Skod City with a firm, but fair, furry iron grip. She was the only one with a direct line of communication to Skodwarde. Nobody else in the city was allowed to speak to him but her. As far as most of the residents knew, Skodwarde wasn’t even a real figure and just a myth by now, showing how tentacles off he was with this world. He’s a busy god and thus he turned a blind eye to Alt-Sandy’s activities, as long as it made for compelling spin-off ratings. Alt-Sandy is shown inside of the Skod Tower, standing in the center of the city. She looks out the windows at the futuristic city below, happy the spin-off world is functioning her liking. 

In the city, the robot residents are seen living about their lives and executing their programmed functions without further thought. Robotic versions of various familiar nautical characters are seen, including Larry, Scooter, Fred, Puff Mama, Bubblebath and even JCM in a cameo. Two notable attractions include the Cyber Krab and Glitch Bucket, acting as stand ins for the classic restaurants, run by Krabtron and Planktron respectively. These tie-ins were not part of Skodwarde’s original designs, as he wanted to distance himself from the original show, but Alt-Sandy understandably still held nostalgia for the friends she lost when the prime universe was erased. Skodwarde relented and let it slide as long as it drew in fans from the original. Meanwhile, in one of the seediest parts of the city, the Wick District, a shootout is occurring between two rival gangs. Multitudes of gangs fought for control over areas in the city, most notably consisting of the following big players: the Nazi Squid Cult, the Dolphin Warriors, Skodbillies, The Long Pants Army and the Tanorexics, all robotic versions of the groups from the prime Skodwarde universe. The gangs currently fighting are the Tanorexics and Skodbillies, with casualties abound. However, in the midst of their fighting, gunshots fly from an unknown third party, confusing both gangs. Three figures step out of the shadows, revealing: Keanu Reeves, and his two partners in crime, SpongeTron and Patron! Together, the three took on dangerous assignments, many of which included disrupting the gangs’ progress. They are Keanu’s most trusted partners in the whole world. They hide behind several cyber cars, which shields them from gunshots. The Tanorexics and Skodbillies continue to shoot at each other and Keanu’s group.

“Alright gang, let’s show them what a trio of goofy goobers can do.” Keanu said, uplifting SpongeTron and Patron.

"I'm ready! Dahahaha, on your left!” SpongeTron warned to Keanu, sensing danger on his scanners. 

Keanu quickly looks over and successfully shoots at an incoming Tanorexic member nearby. SpongeTron shoots poison bubbles at the enemies with his gun.

“Say hello to my little friend!” Patron yelled.

Patron shoots explosive ice creams from his machine gun, blasting Skodbillies and Tanorexic members across the street, while others try to run. The three see one Skodbilly running away with a large stash of stolen credits, which was the real reason they came here. The three run out of hiding, while gunning down more members and trying to chase the fleeing Skodbilly. As Keanu’s group wastes more members, the Skodbillies and Tanorexics decide they’re compromised and both scram. Keanu continues his chase of the one Skodbilly. He shoots at one of their tentacles, injuring them, but this son of a bitch ain’t letting up. The Skodbilly then jumps onto a ladder, and climbs onto a roof. Keanu gives chase, as the Skodbilly jumps off the roof and landing on another. Keanu does a jump and successfully lands as well. The Skodbilly is heading for another roof, when SpongeTron and Patron activate their jets. They fly into the air and land down in front of the Skodbilly, terrifying him. He drops the stolen credits and surrenders. Keanu then knocks him out, taking the credits. The three goofy goobers give themselves pats on the back, happy at another successful mission, as their experience points go up. Keanu was special, because he was one of the few residents left in the world to not be a robot. Any holdouts were supposed to do the transformative process, but Keanu avoided it, wanting to preserve his humanity. Skodwarde had instructed Alt-Sandy to keep him as was in hopes of his star power being a hook for the spin-off. Keanu then holds out a communicator.

“It’s done.” Keanu spoke to someone on the other end.

“Good. Get back here, I have another big assignment for you.” the person on the other end responded.

The trio hears sirens wailing in the distance, so they quickly make it out of there. The three are then seen entering a warehouse near the city outskirts. Keanu places the stolen credits on a table in the middle of a dimly lit room. A chair turns around, showing their employer: robot Ian McShane, guest starring as himself. McShane starts meticulously counting every credit, making sure the exact amount is there. Keanu, SpongeTron and Patron stand patiently. McShane finishes, pleased by the results.

“Another successful job, gentlemen!” McShane said, giving them their share of credits.

Patron and SpongeTron discuss what they’ll buy with these credits, as Keanu looks at his gun, which is starting to wear out on him a little. McShane notices this and agrees it could use an upgrade.

“A little rusty. Someone get this man a damn gun!” McShane yelled, letting out a laugh.

One of McShane’s employees brings forward a selection of guns for Keanu to upgrade to, who looks them over. A certain pistol jumps out at him, and he chooses it, to which McShane says it’s a wise choice. McShane then tells them to not rest yet, as he has another assignment for them. Their next mission is to steal a valuable weapon from a Dolphin Warrior clan base, one that would make a fine addition to his collection. He provides them coordinates to the base. The three musketeers head off, but not before making a brief detour to Keanu’s apartment in the Neo District. He had to check on something, or rather, someone. Keanu enters his apartment, and in a bed, sees Gary the Snail resting. Not a robot, an actual alternate version. Gary was another one of the only specimens in this universe to be organic. Gary was a relic of a time before Alt-Sandy’s takeover, as he never went through the transformative process either. Keanu had found Gary on the streets long ago and took him as his pet, being very protective of him. He wasn’t sure what attached him about the creature, but deep down he knew it was the right thing to do to look after it. He’d never be able to imagine what would happen if he never came home to Gary one day. Gary wakes up and lets out a meow, happy to see his owner. Keanu feeds him his special snail food and gives him a good pet on the head. SpongeTron looks inside through a window at Gary curiously. He can’t help but feel the creature is familiar, yet can’t figure out why. 

The three musketeers are seen outside the Dolphin Clan base, preparing their break in. SpongeTron and Patron use their technology to scan the area for the best entry points. Several dolphin guards patrol the perimeter, as the group stealthily hides. They don’t want to deal with a horde of enemies right now, so they are looking for the safest way in. SpongeTron gives a signal and they rush through to a back entrance of the base. Keanu is on watch as SpongeTron fries open a lock, opening the door. This allows him and Patron inside, and Keanu is right behind them. Just when they think the coast is clear, a dolphin sneaks from behind and whacks Keanu in the back of the head, stunning him. He collapses to the ground, his head spinning and the world turning around him. SpongeTron and Patron look behind, wondering where Keanu is, to see the dolphin warrior and open fire at it. Upon being hit in the head, Keanu sees a flash of something unusual. He sees beyond the strings of the universe and images of Skodwarde as “the man behind the curtain”. This is his first glimpse into realizing where he truly is. The thought disappears and he looks around back to normal, but still unable to let go of what he just witnessed. 

“You okay, pal?” Patron asked Keanu, helping him up.

“Yes…I shall be fine.” Keanu replied, as the three storm the base.

Meanwhile, Alt-Sandy is checking the city systems, and suddenly notices a glitch on one of them. She decides to inspect, looking at the security footage to see Keanu on the screen. She quickly realizes what this means: a glitch in the matrix has occurred. This was not good. Alt-Sandy is then seen walking down a fancy, technological hallway and reaches a room at the end of the hallway. She enters inside and a large blank television screen hangs on the wall. Next to it are controls, which Alt-Sandy begins to adjust. The screen turns on, showing Skodwarde in an unknown location. Alt-Sandy bows before him. Skodwarde asks what she has to report, and Alt-Sandy regrettably informs him about the glitch in the matrix. Their worst fear had come true: Keanu had finally started to grow self-awareness. If this is left unchecked, it could disrupt the entire multiverse. Skodwarde respected but also feared Keanu due to his power. In fact, he was the only person he is genuinely afraid of. Keanu would not be happy if he discovered he’s been a prisoner in one of Skodwarde’s fantasies and would derail the spin-off’s story. This is serious shit. Alt-Sandy agrees, but isn’t sure what to do for once. She notes how he has a special attachment to this version of Gary, along with SpongeTron and Patron. Skodwarde smiles, hatching an idea in his pants. Skodwarde instructs Alt-Sandy to engineer SpongeTron’s own glitch in the matrix, but a different one: allowing one to directly interact with Skodwarde. Alt-Sandy understands, heading to the city server showing every robot’s profiles. She begins to tamper with SpongeTron’s.

Back at the base, Keanu, SpongeTron and Patron are fighting off the dolphin warriors, who are doing their damndest to protect the weapon. During the fighting, SpongeTron has a malfunction mid-battle, as he yells out in pain and falls to the ground. Keanu and Patron get him to cover and try to see what’s wrong with him. In SpongeTron’s own technological subconscious, he sees an image of Skodwarde talking to him. It ignites his circuits in ways he cannot describe. SpongeTron had found god. Skodwarde explains his mission to SpongeTron: he must terminate Gary, which his “sources” tell him is actually a sleeper agent out to get Keanu. He is doing this to sew chaos between the main characters viewers have come to know, and lead into a juicy, drama fueled season finale. He also orders him to leave clues making it look like Patron is the killer instead. Skodwarde is covering all of his bases with this: he’ll give Keanu an emotional arc to end the season that’ll keep his mind on this world, resulting in the death of two main characters, but also providing him “closure” to Gary’s killer so he can move on. Meanwhile, the audiences would be thrown for a season finale cliffhanger revealing SpongeTron as the true killer, which he knew would be one of the most nut busting cliffhangers in history. He could see it all transpiring, this is his perfect way to get Skod Wick on the grid. Skodwarde finishes by telling SpongeTron he will be god’s disciple, and he should be honored by this. SpongeTron then goes back to normal, readjusting to reality. Keanu and Patron both ask if SpongeTron is okay, and it takes him a few seconds to respond, but he assures he’s fine. He begins to think about Gary, but puts it aside for now as they continue fighting through the dolphins.

The group manages to retrieve the weapon and escape from the base which was rigged to explode, as they escape from the Hollywood explosion. Their experience levels go up, and they give each other jolly pats on the back to celebrate another victory. However, Keanu still has lingering feelings given his awakening earlier, and SpongeTron needs to fulfill his mission. The three decide to call it a night, and head to their respective homes. Keanu gets into his apartment, giving Gary another pet and tucking him in tight. Keanu then heads into his room and goes to sleep. Late at night, SpongeTron approaches Keanu’s apartment and hacks into the locks, allowing him inside. He stealthily walks in, seeing Gary sleeping there, all alone. SpongeTron holds out his bubble gun, aiming it right at the poor snail. Gary’s eyeballs open in fear.

“…Meow?” Gary said sadly.

SpongeTron pulls the trigger. He then holds out ammo from Patrick’s ice cream cone and places it under the bed’s blanket to throw Keanu off. SpongeTron then leaves the room, flying off into the night. The next morning, Keanu wakes up, as suspenseful music plays in the background. He walks forward and then freezes in place, upon seeing the dead body of Gary lying on the floor. He rushes toward it, checking on him. He has a variety of emotions rolling through him right now, and he is not sure how to process them. Keanu cries, holding the deceased Gary’s body. Keanu’s world is…shattered. This is not a wholesome 100. Keanu looks around in a panic, not knowing what to do. He then looks at the door, seeing the locks were sabotaged, allowing the murderer to break in. He pulls out his communicator, asking for SpongeTron and Patron to get here asap. The two arrive, and are horrified at the sight before them, but being robots, can’t express much emotion otherwise. 

“Gee, I wonder what kind of sick bastard could’ve done this?” Patron asked curiously.

“That’s what I want to know.” Keanu said, determined for vengeance.

SpongeTron suggests perhaps the Tanorexics or Skodbillies did this for payback. Keanu and Patron agree this makes sense, so they search for the Skodbillies’ base of operations for payback. After calling in a few favors, they track it down to a shitty compound in the Constantine District. The Skodbillies are inside, making cocaine and shooting their guns like maniacs. The three musketeers barge in, and it becomes a John Wick style bloodbath. Keanu angrily guns down the coked up Skodbillies in his roaring rampage, and soon, only the leader remains, who is knocked to the ground. 

“Why did you kill my best friend?” Keanu asked coldly to the leader, bewildering him.

“What the fuckin’ hell are ya talking’ abo-“ the Skodbilly leader was saying.

Keanu then shoots him in the head before he can finish his sentence. Suddenly, Keanu has another awakening, as a vision shows flashing images of Alt-Sandy, Skodwarde, and the silhouetted robotic intruder in his apartment. Keanu snaps back to reality, unsure how to process this. Patron is happy they’ve solved the mystery, but Keanu says they aren’t sure if they actually did it, which has him feeling uneasy about the massacre. SpongeTron replies that regardless, they did the world a favor. But Keanu felt…unsatisfied. After letting his anger subside, and pondering her his vision, he starts to think rationally, realizing that none of the gangs could be responsible. Not one of them even knew where he lived or who Gary is; if they wanted payback, they’d just aim for the man himself. Keanu was missing something, so after both robots head to the Cyber Krab for lunch, Keanu heads back to the scene of the crime. He then finds the evidence SpongeTron planted: Patrick’s gun ammo. Keanu drops it, stunned. There was no mistaking it. Everything made sense now. One of his closest allies had betrayed him, but why? Was Patron a double agent this whole time? Perhaps his “dumb act” really was an act. He needed to confront Patron, and hurriedly heads off to the Cyber Krab. But then, he looks at the ammo again, specifically at the fingerprints on the case, and sees a nearby scanner machine…

At the Cyber Krab, SpongeTron and Patron are enjoying Tech Patties. Robot Guy Fieri, guest starring as himself, is in the kitchen whipping up the delicious meals. After they’re done, they head out, only to see Keanu waiting for them. He tells them he found a major lead in Gary’s murder and needs to discuss with them in private. They head into a back alley, away from any prying eyes. 

“I know it was you.” Keanu said ominously, not looking at a specific robot, confusing both of them.

He holds up the ammo from Patrick’s gun, stunning both. He explains that he found this under Gary’s blanket. Patron insists it wasn’t him, at least he doesn’t think so. SpongeTron pretends to be appalled, saying he felt something was off about Patron’s functioning lately. He then holds out his bubble gun, pointing it to Patron. Patron gets scared, saying they’ve known each other for years, he would never betray their trust. SpongeTron says that sounds like what an impostor would exactly say and then shoots Patron, the bubble poison brutally eating through his body. Keanu then looks at SpongeTron, worrying him. He says the murderer is dead, but then Keanu says not quite. He reveals that he found his fingerprints on the ammo, as SpongeTron goes cold. Keanu admits he almost had him going, but didn’t cover his tracks quite good enough. He then quickly pulls out his pistol and shoots it at SpongeTron, who flies out of the way just in time. SpongeTron then tackles Keanu and begins punching him repeatedly, telling him that he was “just following the orders of my god…Skodwarde.” This takes Keanu off guard, as he realizes Skodwarde is who he saw in his visions. As SpongeTron keeps fighting him, Keanu envisions Gary meowing to him, giving him the strength to keep fighting. SpongeTron is then about to finish him with a poison bubble, but Keanu punches back and grabs the gun out of his hands, tossing it aside. Keanu then sends two pistol shots art his jet engines, disabling them. He then sends several more shots through SpongeTrons’ chest, as his robot body collapses to the ground. Keanu was judge, jury and executioner. This has broken the world of Skod Wick; Skodwarde never intended for the events to play out this way. Keanu realizes now Skodwarde is the one who corrupted SpongeTron’s programming, and thus, Gary’s true killer. Keanu has unplugged from the matrix, and is going to escape from Skod’s nuthouse, whatever it takes.

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Was supposed to post this on the exact day of Skodwarde’s 10th anniversary, but that already passed so let’s just pretend today is that day! ?

 

Skod on the Run Part II: Skod & Keanu’s Bogus Journey

With Keanu seemingly freed from Skodwarde’s increasingly convoluted narrative, he races to the only person who could possibly help him in his hour of need; robo Ian McShane. The two have an exchange that REALLY (I mean REALLY) carries over all the pent up sexual tension between the two from John Wick. But Keanu takes exception to that and says that their relationship is completely platonic. McShane takes note of this , highlighting how Keanu Reeves is dangerously close to un-buttplugging himself from Skodwarde’s matrix. Keanu questions how McShane could possibly know about the big nazi squid in the sky and in his wet dreams. McShane sits Keanu down on his lap and tells him everything he knows.

 

Meanwhile, Agent Sandy is granted emergency god powers in the form of a God Coupon (as seen in Skodwarde episode #214!), however, she tears it a new one in order to hunt down Keanu Reeves through her own devices. And back in his house of casual sex and worship, Keanu’s recent activity is seriously throwing our squid nazi off his game, only causing 500 orgy mates to climax out of a possible 150,000. Feeling genuinely unsure for the first time in his extensive lifespan, Skodwarde uses his god powers to call an emergency meeting with the only two beings in the entire Skodwarde multiverse who can even come close to him; The Flying Dutchman and Poseidon, the one true god of the ocean.

 

Skodwarde lays out the sitch and gives them all the deets. He reminds them that they each are three of the four pillars that keeps the Skodwarde universe above water, however, if something were to happen to even just one of them (mainly him), then the power dynamic will be broken and Skodwarde will end. Permanently! The Dutchman brings up how Skodwarde tried to replace him entirely in “Death Insurance” with a generic grim reaper character, but Skodwarde rationalizes that was “just Hayden being Hayden.” Poseidon mentions how Skodwarde has given him blue balls for years, constantly trying to push “this Neptune jerkoff TWICE” as the one true god of the seas when it was in fact he, Poseidon. Skodwarde reasons that it was because Neptune was more fuckable, and by fuckable I mean marketable. The meeting ends unproductively, with both Poseidon and the Dutchman obviously plotting their own moves to use Keanu Reeves against Skodwarde, deciding that they’d much rather see Skodwarde end rather than float around without direction and doing nothing.

 

Back in the C-Plot, Ian McShane tells Keanu Reeves about an elite secret society made up of people who are all keenly aware of the fact that they are just characters in some trashy ass spin-off on a SpongeBob forum. McShane says that Keanu’s best shot at ending Skodwarde is by finding this fabled group, who seem to be scattered throughout the many other spun-off worlds that Skodwarde has in the pipeline. Before they can part ways, Keanu feels a sharp pain in his gut. He has been shot by none other than robo McShane, wielding a Walther P38, signature firearm of the Nazi defense force. He heils Skodwarde.

 

Keanu Reeves is confused as to why the robotic Ian McShane would want to assassinate him on Skodwarde’s behalf. McShane informs him that Agent Sandy has enacted the “Hay-in-the-Needlestack” protocol, which effectively turns the entire populace of Skod City on Reeves in a joint effort to delete him from Skodwarde’s grand design. McShane, however, has even more skin in the game as he reveals himself to be none other than Fred Phelps (as seen in Season 6’s “Dear Nazis”), founding father of the Westboro Baptist Church! Phelps reveals how he founded the WBC decades ago in worship of Skodwarde Testicles, and now his years of undying devotion has led him to this life defining moment.

 

After some nautical nonsense involving Keanu Reeves, homophobic slur slinging and plenty of buttplugs, Keanu Reeves manages to give the entire WBC their first gay moment that they won’t soon forget in honor of Pride Month. Skodwarde leaves the church in a state of butthurt as he heads out to take the fight to Agent Sandy, herself. Keanu has much fights with the many mechanized versions of Bikini Bottom inhabitants all John Wick-style, as you would imagine. However his gunshot wound slowly takes its toll on his body. Before he can be completely overwhelmed by the robot menace, he is saved by a jolly band of pirates who are led by none other than...Painty and Patchy the Butt Pirate! This is enough to make Keanu go “Whoa.” for the very first time in this miniseries before passing the fuck out.

 

Keanu Reeves awakens in the captain’s quarters of Patchy’s ship, The Bird Puss. Patchy explains that he is the leader of a resistance movement against Agent Sandy and all her futuristic robot mumbo jumbo (how’s that for continuity?). He says that “Hay-in-the-Needlestack” is all the proof he needs to justify his years of opposition against the true evil of Agent Sandy’s futuristic design. Keanu tells them that the real man behind the curtain is Skodwarde. Painty relays his sad but turbulent history with Skodwarde to Keanu, claiming that Skodwarde tried to keep him silent by turning him into a painting. But Painty would eventually find a way to have his message be heard, broadcasting his rallying cry for over 200 episodes and across the span of 8 whole years. However, his call to arms was commonly mistaken for a catchy intro tune instead and somehow it stuck. Patchy regrets not having heard Painty’s true intentions sooner, admitting that he was a big reason why Skodwarde grew so much in power and influence in the first place; by being his #1 fan and constantly spreading his word to the masses through his fandom of the show. Patchy further explains that when he was forced to swallow the red pill in “[redacted] Friends”, and therefore exposing himself to the contents of Luke’s document, he became acutely aware of the reality of Skod’s true intent for the show. He and his on-again/off-again puppet pal with benefits, Potty, made a play to stop him in “It’s a Wonderful Skod!”, but Skodwarde wrote them off before they could enact their plan. This all comes off like a foreign language to Keanu but he goes along with it. Keanu Reeves and Patchy bond over their shared tragedies of losing a dear pet before Keanu asks if Patchy, Painty and their crew are the secret elite group that Fred Phelps told him about earlier. Painty informs him that everything they and their crew do is out of the shadows, even their lonely nights of gratuitous buttsex (or oral sex in Painty’s case) out at sea. Believing that to be something that would’ve best been kept secret, Keanu takes his word for it.

 

Their next move is to lay siege to Skod Tower and take out Agent Sandy in her Treedome at the very top. However, their plan is foiled when it’s revealed that Agent Sandy infiltrated the crew by previously “chroming” a few crew members off-screen. The chrome instantly converted them upon contact with their skin, making them open vessels for Sandy to take swift control of and repurpose them as her own. Sandy goes T2 on their candy asses, massacring and converting members of the crew as she sees fit. A distress signal is sent out to the entire ship, alerting Patchy, Painty and Keanu to the secret invasion.

 

Agent Sandy causes The Bird Puss to maroon itself on Bikini Atoll. This shall be the site of the pirates and robots’ final battle. Keanu Reeves and the remaining pirates charge into battle against Agent Sandy’s ever growing robot army. Keanu plows through waves of them just by himself. With the pirates scattered all throughout the island, Agent Sandy is finally able to get Keanu Reeves all to herself. She reveals that she wants to strike a deal with Keanu, claiming that she despises Skodwarde just as much as he does. She goes into detail about how they’re all just means to an end to Skod, only just bit players in the overall story that’s all about himself. She reveals that Skodwarde’s greedy ambition to get a spin-off green lit combined with the remnants of the destroyed Scrapped Dimension has given birth to the vast Skodwarde multiverse, where every and any possibility can become reality. She says that Skodwarde has been using it to shit out ways to continue on his legacy, but it can also be used to guarantee his end. Agent Sandy refuses to be the pawn of some fucked up god any longer, so she proposes that they together can harness the power of scientific reasoning to rid the universe of Skodwarde once and for all. Keanu refuses to work with someone who had his beloved pet, Gary, killed. Agent Sandy claims that Gary’s death was a means to an end, which makes her a complete hypocrite in Keanu Reeves’ eyes. She makes one more offer to have Gary cloned the way he was in exchange for Keanu’s cooperation, but Keanu Reeves has higher standards and better morals than that. With no hope for an understanding, all they can do now is kung fu fight.

 

They have a fist fight for the ages, which inches closer to its conclusion when Reeves places Agent Sandy in a guillotine choke. Agent Sandy laments that they possibly could’ve seen more eye to eye in another life. Without saying a word, Keanu Reeves decapitates her with force of strength. The pirates look to have the robots on the run until the robots start combining together to make a much bigger, chrome-plated mass. Patchy looks on with PTSD, knowing full well exactly what they’re seeing. 

 

The robots are melding together to create an artificial clusterfuck. Agent Sandy reforms herself at the base of the artificial clusterfuck’s head. She says that through the power of science and reasoning alone, she has been able to build herself an army capable of combatting Skodwarde from right under his big ass nose. The fruit of her labor comes in the form of a clusterfuck that puts the one from “It’s a Wonderful Skod!” to shame. Keanu Reeves is the only person in all of existence that she’s seen the squid nazi show fear to, so she must weaponize that fear by killing Keanu Reeves herself.

 

Keanu readies himself for a fight, but Patchy stops him, saying that this isn’t his battle. Patchy ushers Keanu away deep into The Bird Puss while his remaining crew distracts Agent Clusterfuck over there. He takes Keanu to a door that looks like it was ripped right out of a wall, because it was ripped right out of a wall. Patchy explains that he and his crew liberated this space and time machine from straight out of the Cyber Krab (how’s that for even more continuity? SB-129 on y’all’s asses). Keanu can use this to scour the multiverse and find Skodwarde. Patchy originally intended to use it himself, but if Skodwarde fears Keanu Reeves as much as Agent Sandy says he does, then it’s best that Keanu is the one to use of it. 

 

Patchy hands Painty off to Keanu as a traveling companion since it would be lonely af out there in time and space. Agent Clusterfuck tears through Patchy’s remaining forces and The Bird Puss (last time, I swear) in a mad attempt to prevent Keanu’s departure. Keanu insists on staying to finish the fight, but Patchy shoves both Reeves and Painty into the machine and shuts the door between them. Patchy passes the mantle of President of the Skodwarde Hate Club over to Keanu Reeves, telling Keanu to use it wisely from here on out. Patchy states his desire for Keanu Reeves to “redeem us” as the space and time machine disappears in a flash of bright light.

 

Patchy is left to deal with Agent Clusterfuck alone. He wields three cutlasses at once and readies his hand cannons. Patchy’s more than prepared this time. With one final “POTTYYYYYYYYYY!!!!” he leaps at the chrome beast.

 

Skodwarde soon catches wind of Agent Sandy’s failure and ultimate defeat at the hook hands of the pirates. He also senses that Keanu Reeves was in fact able to escape the matrix. With nothing else to invest in in that spin-off, Skodwarde uses his god powers to completely write Skod Wick off right in the middle of the pirates’ celebration. With Keanu Reeves officially on the move, Skodwarde now finds himself officially on the run. He unsurely jizzes himself in excitement.

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Skod on the Run Part III: Keanu Reeves vs. the Multiverse

The space time machine is seen blasting through an inter-dimensional, psychedelic highway, reminiscent of the time travel from Skod Out of Water. Painty tells Keanu he better strap his butt in and fasten his seatbelt tight matey, because they’re gonna be in for a bumpy ride. Keanu takes heed to his advice and sits down on a chair, fastening his seatbelt on tight. Painty explains they're going on a celebrity manhunt for members of an organization known as "The Elites" scattered across Skod's twisted multiverse, the key to defeating him. Patchy and him were originally going to gather them up together using the machine, but his death means Keanu is now his partner in crime for the mission. Keanu asks who the next celebrity they'll find is, and Painty says they’re not in a particular order so he doesn’t know for certain, but says he’ll recognize them when he sees them. A bright light begins to reflect into the room from outside, indicating they are about to reach their destination. The space time machine then flashes again, appearing in the same desert from Pizza Delivery (as seen in Skodwarde episode 5a!). The sand tornado from said episode spins around in the distance, heading for the two. They try their damndest to run away, but they are no match, as the tornado sucks them up along with the machine. The tornado then shoots them out out, blasting off.

They land right on the border Bikini Bottom, the machine still in tact. They get up and look at the city in all of its nostalgic glory once more! But something feels…different about it. The two can’t quite figure it out, but even Painty knows this is not the Bikini Bottom he’s introduced many times. The two decide to investigate around town to see what’s amiss. They see some familiar characters in cameos: Scooter, Fred, JCM, Bubblebath, Hunka Hunka Larry, Dougie Williams, Skolliam, Puff Mama, and moar. In typical Skodwarde naughtiness, they’re all smoking pot and making several sexual innuendos. Everything seems to be in order, so they decide to head to Conch Street next. As the street comes into view, something catches them by surprise: SpongeBob’s pineapple and Patrick’s rock are not there, just Skodwarde’s house. They now realize where they are are: Dimension 420, a world where SpongeBob and Patrick never moved to Bikini Bottom, and thus, Skodwarde lived out his life in pure bliss. A true paradise. He does not work at the Krusty Krab either in this timeline, which has Skolliam as the cashier and Scooter as the fry cook. Keanu asks what they should do now, and Painty says to check on this universe’s Skodwarde. Keanu is a bit petrified at the thought of finally meeting this infamous god face to face, especially since he is the one who had Gary killed. Painty tells him this is an alternate version but that doesn’t ease Keanu’s thoughts much. The two carefully tiptoe to Skodwarde’s house. They see a tie on the doorknob, with a “Do not disturb” sign plastered on the door in eye bleeding red text. Needless to say, the message is quite clear. But Keanu and Painty aren’t going to respect Skodwarde’s privacy, so Keanu kicks down the door, as the two enter inside. 

They find his living room dark and empty, much like Skodwarde’s heart. Jokes aside, the two look around carefully, wondering if he’s playing a mind game on them. They see several bongs on a table. Normal. But then they see several peace posters and other hippie wumbo jumbo scattered about. Not normal. No Nazi related imagery, either. Even more not normal. Then they hear pleasurable noises coming from upstairs, along with the sounds of running water. The two carefully tiptoe upstairs, making their way outside of Skodwarde’s bathroom. They hear Skodwarde singing to himself inside, and marijuana smoke also blows out from under the door. Keanu holds his gun close by just in case. The two open the door to see a hippie version of Skodwarde sitting in the relaxing tub, smoking a bong.

“Come on in boys…the water’s fine.” Hippie Skodwarde said in a chill fashion to them, having the biggest smile on his face, and not caring two strangers just broke into his house.

Painty is also surprised to see a Skodwarde this kind and relaxed. Hippie Skodwarde offers the two fresh blunts, but Keanu politely declines. Painty can’t resist the temptation though and smokes one. Paintings need that good old kush too. Keanu looks uneasily at Hippie Skodwarde, with his mind telling him to kill this version for payback. He mulls over that thought for a few seconds, placing his hand on his gun, but then rescinds it and stops. As Painty said, this is not the Skodwarde he seeks. Hippie Skodwarde asks what the two travelers are seeking, to which Painty replies they're looking for someone very special. Hippie Skodwarde wishes them best of luck on their future endeavors, and continues hitting up that sweet old mary jane. Keanu and Painty awkwardly leave the room, and get back to work looking for their celebrity. 

Meanwhile, the prime Skodwarde senses a disturbance from Dimension 420. Ah, Dimension 420…good times. He quaintly reminisces over a time him and his hippie alter ego hit up some of the best drugs in the sea together. He checks on one of his security portals, showing Keanu and Painty there. He is curious as to what he'd gain from such a lowkey dimension. Unless, perhaps, they ended up in the wrong dimension. Skodwarde smiles at this thought and hatches an idea in his pants. He decides, in classic Skodwarde fashion, to add a bit of chaos to this dimension in hopes of stopping them dead in their tracks. In Dimension 420, several towns away from Bikini Bottom, SpongeBob and Patrick are then shown in front of a live studio audience filming. In this dimension, Patrick has been busy in his own sitcom spin-off called The Patrick Star Show, featuring SpongeBob as a secondary character. In this whacky spin-off, Patrick hosts a talk show with his new family, much to the outrage of fans for retconning Patrick’s parents (which may or may not be more impostors…). But nobody really gave a shit, as the show became a success regardless. While in the middle of filming the newest episode, Patrick begins to act odd. Skodwarde peers into his mind from beyond just as he did to SpongeTron. Skodwarde says a spell to him that will awaken the beast within. On set, Patrick begins to transform into Pathulu, shooting out tentacles from his mouth. He has returned once more, and SpongeBob looks confused, not remembering this in the script. He devours all of the live studio audience’s souls on the spot, alongside the producers and SpongeBob’s, giving him a powerful energy boost. Pathulu then looks at his family, the only remaining witnesses, and decides he has a use for them. He uses his dark powers to transform them into their own sea Lovecraftian monsters. Pathulu and his monster family escape from the studio to unleash their chaos throughout this dimension. Pathulu then receives another message from Skodwarde, telling him to “Kill Keanu Reeves.” He has a new mission.

Meanwhile meanwhile, a montage shows Keanu and Painty scouring every nook and cranny for the next Elites member, to no avail. Painty says he thinks the machine may have taken them to the wrong location, as there’s no sign of a celebrity in this dimension. Painty tells Keanu that it’s best they know when to fold ‘em and try another dimension. He explains they don’t have much time and that Skodwarde’s forces will be on them soon. Keanu agrees, as they quickly head back for the space time machine on the edge of town. As they reach for it, suddenly, the skies above them turn dark. They see smoke rising from downtown, as Pathulu wreaks havoc and makes his way for the two. Pathulu appears before them and shoots dark blasts, as the two just barely get out of the way in time. Keanu asks what the hell that beast is. Painty explains it’s a revived Pathulu, one of Skodwarde’s recurring meme characters, and he looks more powerful than ever. They continue to run for the space time machine, but Pathulu shoots his mouth tentacles at the two, with one grabbing onto Painty. Pathulu begins to drag him off, to have his soul devoured, but Keanu quickly holds out one of his guns from Skod Wick and shoots it at the tentacle, cutting it off. Pathulu roars in anger and begins to regenerate the tentacle. This gives Painty enough time to escape, who is forever in Keanu's debt after this kind deed. Keanu and Painty make it into the space time machine. Just before it warps out of there, Pathulu shoots one of his tentacles, clinging on just in time. He is teleported away with the space time machine, unseen by Keanu and Painty.

The space time machine takes another trip down the inter-dimensional, psychedelic highway, which looks even trippier to Painty due to him still feeling high. The bright light flashes again, and they arrive at their new dimension. They step out to find themselves in Rock Bottom (as seen in Skodwarde episode 17b!). Keanu curiously looks around at the bizarrely dark setting. The space time machine wound up right next to the vending machine. Painty says he’s hungry and could sure use a snack, to which Keanu questions how he can eat. Painty then asks him why he didn’t question how a painting smoked, which Keanu can’t argue with. Keanu realizes he doesn’t have any valid currency for here, but Painty tells him not to worry and inserts his own dollar. He presses a button wanting a Kelp Nougat Crunch, which starts to slowly come out, but then gets jammed. Keanu then gives the vending machine a good kick, making the bar finally drop. Painty thanks Keanu again, saying he now owes him two favors. Painty takes a good bite and says he feels this dimension is the one, he senses the next celebrity is indeed here. Keanu says he better be right, when suddenly, a bus pulls up, and then quickly leaves. Keanu remarks that was weird, and begin their search.

They see the red angler fish walk by, and Keanu tries to ask him for directions. The angler fish responds by doing raspberries, confusing Keanu. Painty tells Keanu the natives here don’t speak English, as the angler fish keeps walking on. They see the bus station nearby and decide to head for that. Suddenly, next to the bathrooms, a shady figure is seen leaning against one, reading the newspaper. Painty says he recognizes that fellow, so they approach. They’ve found their next celebrity: Steven Ogg (guest starring as himself)! Painty says he recognizes that lad from Grand Theft Auto V, realizing Rock Bottom is the perfect place for Trevor, and he is also a part of The Elites. Steven Ogg asks what they want, to which Painty reveals he’s a member of the guild and that “it’s time.” Steven Ogg immediately knows what that means, and says it’s been long enough, because living in Rock Bottom has not been as fun as he hoped. He then looks at Keanu and is weary about working with him, saying he's unsure if he trusts him. Keanu then flashes his "President of the Skodwarde Hate Club" card to convince him they're on the same side. Ogg accepts this for now, but still keeps a sharp eye on Keanu, for both suspicion and potential sexual tension, who knows. The three head for the space time machine, where Pathulu is eagerly awaiting to strike. Suddenly, an unholy screech is heard, terrifying the civilians of Rock Bottom, who begin to scream and run around in circles. Keanu asks what’s going on, and Ogg explains that it’s a monster that occasionally comes out of hiding to terrorize the Rock Bottom civilians, then goes to wait for the bus that never comes. The creature reveals itself to be a familiar meme version of SpongeBob. Painty now unfortunately realizes what dimension this is: Dimension 17, an alternate universe where SpongeBob never escaped Rock Bottom. He eventually transformed into the horrific creature they see before them: Spengbab. 

Ogg sadistically suggests they could brutally torture Spengbab to reveal where Skodwarde is, but Keanu politely tells him they’re not gonna do that. Spengbab pounds its chest and growls incoherently, as he pounds on the bus station. Suddenly, he receives the same awakening that Pathulu had, and is told by Skodwarde from beyond to “Kill Keanu Reeves.” Spengbab turns his attention to the threesome nearby, and has his new purpose. Ogg asks what they did to piss him off, and Keanu speculates Skodwarde is making it hunt them down, to which Painty replies he was going to exposition that, but yes, it’s true! Spengbab jumps into the air and lands in front of them, swinging his hands. Keanu unleashes his kung fu moves at Spengbab, but they barely hurt him thanks to his rage. Keanu then tries to shoot him, but Spengbab moves too fast, as he misses. Ogg says he’ll show them how to do it, so he pulls out his own pistol and shoots at the beast, wounding it for a bit. Painty says he can’t tell the difference between Trevor and Ogg at this point, who tells him to shut up and thank him. They get closer to the space time machine, when Pathulu emerges, shooting a dark energy blast their way. They barely dodge, but the blast incinerates the poor red angler fish nearby (RIP). Keanu asks how the hell he followed them, and Painty theorizes he must have attached himself to the machine before they teleported. Ogg says he’s really glad he’s getting out of Rock Bottom now, since things are getting a lil too weird for him around here. Spengbab gets over its injury and sees Pathulu, the two knowing they must work together. Now both Spengbab and Pathulu are attacking them.

Ogg nearly gets grabbed by one of Pathulu’s tentacles but manages to free himself, right before Spengbab lunges at him. Keanu pushes Ogg out of the way just in time, as Spengbab goes flying at Pathulu, landing on top of each other. Using this distraction, Keanu, Painty and Ogg manage to make it into the space time machine, shutting the door. Ogg tells them there’s a reported Skodwarde stronghold that’d be perfect for them to visit next, so he inputs coordinates for a new dimension. Painty and Keanu both say they wish they knew how to do that earlier awkwardly. They floor it and the machine teleports away just in the nick of time. Pathulu and Spengbab both land where the machine once was, disappointed. However, Skodwarde is not disappointed with their performance, who had been watching. He could use minions to deal with his current problem since Dutchy and Poseidon bailed on him, so he opens a portal where they’re at, allowing them to enter his domain. However, Skodwarde can’t quite figure out why they needed Steven Ogg of all people, and this concerns him. He can’t even unsurely jizz himself now, that’s how serious this is.

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Sorry for the wait!


 

Skod on the Run Part IV: SQodwarde

 

We return to see Skodwarde 420 passing the dutchie on the left hand side in his home of Dimension 420. However, he soon realizes that there’s no one in the house to pass it to, so just who did he pass the dutchie to? He turns almost an exact copy of himself, an exact copy who he imagines looks hot in his unmentionables. Thinking this is just a bad trip, Skodwarde 420 laughs it off. He loses his ability to laugh when the copy uses his god powers to forcibly remove Skodwarde 420’s laugh box and then proceeds to shove it up his own ass. The copy’s god power appears to increase upon insertion as Skod 420 slowly dies on the floor. 420 asks just who this exact copy is, to which the exact copy responds

 

“I’m you, but better.”

 

Dimension 420 is then completely wiped off the face of the multiverse.

 

Elsewhere in the Skodwarde Multiverse, Keanu Reeves, Painty and Steven Ogg arrive at their desired destination; a somewhat old western town located somewhere on the outskirts of the entire multiverse, seemingly untouched by Skodwarde’s influence. Steven tells them that the group they’re looking for is based in a saloon right over there. Painty sheds a painted tear, knowing he’s finally accomplished the mission that he and Patchy worked so long and so hard to accomplish, just like his painted dick right now. Keanu Reeves is still rather wary though and keeps his guard up.

 

They enter the nearby saloon to find that is occupied by the likes of *carefully reads down the list of the Truth or Square cast on the SB Wiki* Ricky Gervais, Rosario Dawson, Eddie Deezen, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, the Taco Bell Chihuahua, Johnny Depp, Cap’n Crunch, LeBron James, Tina Fey, Tina Turner, Will Ferrell, Craig Ferguson, Popeye, The Guy on the Penny, Queen Elizabeth II, P!nk, P!nk’s band, Bruce Willis and Gwyneth Paltrow. But the name the jumps out Keanu Reeves the most is Ian McShane, who jumps out and scares Keanu with some surprise buttsex, saying that was to get Keanu back for their last encounter.

 

Keanu is shocked, thinking he had put a phallic object firmly up Ian’s ass, and that he was Fred Phelps! McShane explains that was simply just a cover identity necessary to perform some triple agenting. Fred Phelps was just a role he had to play in order to get closer to Skodwarde, the one that Keanu is after. But with Skod Wick’s demise personally at Skodwarde’s hand, he had to abandon the character or else raise suspicion. Keanu can’t help but go “whoa” as he struggles to take all of this information in. Steven Ogg pushes by Keanu and leans in to kiss Ian, making very little effort to hide his obvious jealousy.

 

Ian introduces Steven Ogg as his latest lover in a vain attempt to make Keanu Reeves jealous. Painty cuts the sexual tension by asking Ian if he’s the one in charge here, but Ian claims that he is not. Suddenly, the man in charge makes his demonic presence known, and it is none other than Danny Trejo! BECAUSE HE’S IN EVERY MOVIE!!!

 

Danny Trejo demands to know who these outsiders are. Painty introduces himself as the intro guy, the one who’s been blowing the whistle on Skodwarde’s grand illusion since the very beginning. Painty introduces Keanu Reeves as the newest president of the Skodwarde Hate Club. Keanu flashes the presidential ID card he received from Patchy as proof. Danny Trejo destroys the card with his rather satanic pew pew eye lazors and sends Keanu flying over the bar of the saloon. We have a bar fight on our hands boys, so buckle those belts tight.

 

After some nautical nonsense involving celebrity guest stars, a pencil, and the swift removal of life with said pencil, Keanu Reeves dispatches all of the celebrity guests with relative ease. All that leaves now is Danny Trejo, who welcomes the worthy challenge. Before they can engage in mortal combat, they’re broken up by Snoop Dogg, who is raging because the noise they’re all making seriously fucked his game up during his Twitch stream. He demands to know what fuck y’all doin here, to which Painty replies “to Be The Elite”. Snoop says that they don’t just let anyone join The Elite, but Painty reminds them all that Snoop whores himself out at every opportunity he gets. Snoop can’t argue with that, so he agrees to let Painty and Keanu Reeves join their ranks. However, they must prove their worth to the group by taking out a huge problem before they letting them in on the secrets of their secret society. And seeing how well Keanu handled himself just now, he might just be the man to get the job done.

 

Steven Ogg voices his doubts about Keanu, admitting that he himself wasn’t even able to take out “The President”. Ian McShane, however, vouches for Keanu, saying that he’s a man that is capable of taking out just about anyone, maybe even God himself. Snoop Dogg is too high to listen to this bullshit and just tells them to get the fuck on. Steven Ogg, however, opts to stay behind to spoil Ian while Keanu’s gone, but Keanu once again doesn’t take the bait. Danny Trejo decides to tag along in Steven’s place, wanting to keep close tabs on this Keanu Reeves character.

 

Taking off in their Space-Time Machine, Painty takes the time to go over their mission specs. He’s shocked to see who their target is, being none other than Donald Trump in the spray tanned flesh. Danny Trejo tells them how Trump was once a member of The Elite, having previously been sent to acquire the rights to Skodwarde in hopes of gaining control over the squid nazi god. However, Trump went mad with power and eventually cut The Elite off entirely. In the main continuity, the Skod Crew was able to win the rights back, but with the multiverse now in play, a separate spun-off universe has emerged in which the Skod Crew failed and Trump has since used his connection to Skodwarde to become the President For Life of that universe. Essentially becoming a Far Cry villain. Trump has also rallied up a group of his own to foil The Elite at every chance he gets, a group that has come to be known as QAnon. Trump and the QAnon followers all take their orders directly from a mysterious figure known only as “Q”. The Elite have reason to believe that this “Q” character could very well be that universe’s version of Skodwarde, so they want to be able to take out three birds with one stone. That one stone being Keanu Reeves. Trejo admits that he also has been unable to take Trump out despite all the hellfire currently flowing through him, putting over Trump’s threat even more.

 

They finally arrive in the “Sold Out” universe, where Donald Trump succeeds in securing the rights to Skodwarde all the way back in Season 4. They’re immediately greeted with anti-Elite sentiment, included some especially sharp barbs pointed directly at Tom Hanks for some reason. Danny Trejo reiterates to Keanu and Painty that these people have it all wrong about his group. The Elite definitely do not traffic and kill children in order to gain dark, satanic powers by having orgies in their spilled blood. Danny Trejo then proceeds to wipe out all the surrounding QAnon followers with his devil powers.

 

This act of Satan is enough to attract the attention of none other than President For Life, Donald Trump, who sends alt-right versions of the defeated Skod Crew over as his secret service in order to pick the three up for a presidential banquet in their dishonor. Ushered all the way to the Whiter House, they are welcomed with closed, tiny fists by the President For Life. Trump says that Q told him to throw this banquet for them, hoping that doing so will help Q come to a business arrangement with The Elite so that they can all finally put this bad children blood behind them.  Oops. That one slipped.

 

Danny Trejo wants to cut through the bullshit and get straight to the part where they assassinate his orange ass. Danny Trejo rains hellfire on Trump with some more of his devilish eye lazors, but Trump comes out of it completely unscathed. Q wishes that it didn’t have to come to this. Trump uses the power invested in him by Skod Almighty to smite Danny Trejo where he stood, snidely calling him a textbook example of a “bad hombre”. Seeing Trump’s skodly power in action for himself, this is pretty much the closest Keanu has ever been to the squid nazi. Not wanting to blow this chance at testing Skod’s power for himself, Keanu immediately blows it by slipping and knocking himself out on the ground.

 

When Keanu Reeves comes to, he finds himself strapped in an ambulance of some sort. He asks what happened and Painty informs him that Trump used his god powers to make Keanu slip on an ice cube. They’re currently being transported to a place known only as “Weenie Parler Jr’s”- oh wait, that got shut down. Make that “Super Weenie Parler Jr’s” instead, for immediate “revisionist re-education”.  Donald Trump says that Q sees potential in Keanu Reeves as a soldier for his cause. Keanu bluntly refuses to follow the squid nazi who killed his beloved pet, Gary.

 

The Donald laughs at the insinuation that Skodwarde is the method behind his madness. Donald confirms that holding the rights to Skodwarde does indeed give him access to the vast god power that comes with it, but Skod’s certainly in no position to be pulling the strings in this universe. The President is aware of Keanu Reeves’ vendetta against Skodwarde, and he claims that he can get Keanu closer to the Skod he’s after more than The Elite ever could. All Keanu has to do is pledge his life and loyalty to Q’s gospel.

 

Keanu firmly stands his ground and refuses The President’s offer. Not one to take “No” for an answer, Donald Trump uses his god powers to convince Reeves otherwise, but his god powers now seemingly have no affect on him. Keanu wills himself to break free from his bonds takes the fight back to Trump. Their scuffle causes their armored transport to crash and burn. Keanu continues beating Trump out of the rubble. Before he can strike the final blow, a voice suddenly calls out to him, telling him to stop. Keanu realizes that the voice belongs to none other than Q.

 

Painty, having placed his full trust in The Elite, can’t hear Q and thus he thinks Keanu Reeves is just going batshit crazy. QAnon followers, am I right? Q finally shows himself to Keanu, revealing that he is in fact...Q from Season 2 of “SBC Parallel Universe”!?!

 

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Q reveals that when the Skodwarde Multiverse was spawned, it opened the door for endless possibilities, including a possible crossover with jjsthekid’s “SBC Parallel Universe”. I mean, Skodwarde crossed over with Storm Racers that one time, so ya never know. And SBC*holds nose*PU already has a tailor-made plot to tie it in seamlessly. I mean, “Parallel Universe”. Anyway, Q still feels butthurt by how his character arc wrapped up in SBC*holds nose*PU, having had his contributions to the story completely glossed over by pro-SBC propaganda. This revisionist history somehow motivated him to oppose the SBC establishment and let his truth be heard. And somehow that miraculously snowballed into the wider QAnon Movement we all know and loathe after he effortlessly recruited the president and his followers to his cause by whispering sweet nothings into their ears. Q thought having god on his side would be enough to have his truth heard, but what he really needed all along was man power, the mana, provided only by the great Hawaiian actor Keanu Reeves. Yeah, this miniseries is getting weird, man.

 

Q repeats Trump’s offer for an alliance that would be mutually beneficial but Keanu Reeves simply shoots Q square in the head, saying that he doesn’t even know who Q is supposed to even be even after all that exposition. Trump comes to and sees what Keanu has done to his meal ticket. The President musters all the god power in his being to strike Keanu Reeves down, but is ultimately stopped thanks to the timely arrival of the Skodwarde copy from the beginning of the episode. This Skodwarde forcefully strips Trump of his Skodwarde rights and finishes him off with an Ultima, the hallmark of all true Skodwardes.

 

This Skodwarde assimilates the rights into his being, seemingly becoming even stronger than he just was. He gains a robe and fully formed monobrow with this latest Dragon Ball-styled god power boost.

 

Painty: Skolliam?! Arrr!

 

But Keanu can only see a mere Skodwarde in his sights so he empties his entire clip on him, to little to no affect. “Skolliam” only stares at Reeves, looking very sure about what he’s about to do next. “Skolliam” uses his god powers to send yet another universe into oblivion and dips. Much too far away from their Space-Time Machine, Keanu Reeves and Painty can only brace themselves for the worst as the “Sold Out” universe is taken out of continuity.

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Skod on the Run Part V: The Cutting Room Floor

Skolliam vaporizes the Sold Out dimension right there on the spot, taking Keanu and Painty along with it. No dragging, no fucking around, he just kills them right then and there. Holy shit. But there’s still three parts left of this film, so you know that can’t be it. 

Keanu and Painty wake up in an unfamiliar area, perfectly alive. A powerful glow surrounds the two. Keanu’s newfound immunity to god powers saved both from Skolliam’s fatal blow. They look around at their surroundings. It’s dark, and they can’t quite make out where they are, but they see a weird, faint blur in the distance, showing super bright and colorful animation. They realize this can mean only one thing: They’re in SpongeBob Season 12. The two have entered an alternate timeline, Dimension 0, where the Skod writers got off their lazy asses and actually parodied Season 12. Essentially another scrapped dimension for people who wanted more of post-sequel Skodified. As a result, Season 11 in this timeline played out much differently, with the Skolliam war arc not existing and the whole season actually getting Skodified. Jjs and OMJ continued to both serve as showrunners now. SOF stayed on the writing staff, and joining him were several fresh new writers, including: Wintermelon, Salmon, RDSP, and Slug, who the old crew gave more of a say in mapping out this new era. They felt it best to hire younger members who are more passionate about post-sequel to do their parodies justice, which Jjs and OMJ both called in an interview “the best spin-off decision they’ve made in years.” Cha, Steel, JCM, Clappy, CDCB and Nuggets occasionally returned for several special guest writes. Hayden was let go due to several, ahem, “creative differences.” The show started to embrace continuity and callbacks to its past more than it ever had before, particularly the pre-movie era, which some viewed as “lazy fan pandering” at first, but upon seeing the crew’s execution, they warmed up to it. Several recording storylines began to take form this season, which were handled much more cohesively than previous attempts. One of these would be the continued rivalry of the rising Dickelodeon cartoon The Lewd House, tying back to a story thread first set up in Gimmick Madness (as seen in Skodwarde episode 207a!). Several other cosmetic changes included less Krusty Krab and Plankton episodes and unique experiments focusing on minor characters. Scott also lived and was actually given more to do as a character. The show attracted many new fans and the show reached another peak of popularity. Skodwarde had entered another new glorious era with another new generation of writers taking the torch from his tentacle. It’s a truly perfect fantasy of a season, which is exactly sadly why it’s not reality. 

As Jjs’s exposition plays over them, Keanu asks Painty how the hell and they ended up here and who “Skolliam" is. Painty suggest Keanu’s newfound god power immunity must have prevented them from dying and taken them to the next available dimension. He then explains Skolliam was a rival of Skodwarde’s, and that he was basically “him, but better in bed.” He is unsure as to how that Skodwarde turned into him however. They begin to feel the brightness closing in around them, realizing they’re going to be taken into the season. Keanu asks how they’ll escape without the space time machine. Painty tells him they will need to be calm and ride the dimension out. Painty is going to be stuck in his role of introducing every episode, but promises he’ll regroup with Keanu at the end of the season. The two are teleported away, as Skodwarde Season 12’s events begin to play out, but now with Keanu’s presence. Keanu has now taken JCM’s place of being a recurring cameo character.

“Are ya ready kids!? OOOOHHHH!” Painty yelled to the viewers, as the Skodwarde theme song plays. 

Obviously we can’t show single episode from this dimension or this movie would be longer than Return of the King extended edition (unless… #releasetheomjjscut?), so let’s breeze through several noteworthy episodes, speedrun style.

FarmerSkod: One day, in the Season 12 premiere, Skodwarde decides to become a marijuana farmer, dubbing his farm “Tegridy Farms.” Skodwarde employs members of his Nazi Squid Cult to work on the farm. Keanu makes his first appearance of the season as Skodwarde’s first Krustomer. Keanu approaches the weed stand with a sense of dread and uneasiness, but realizes this Skodwarde is once again not the true one and only a clone in his place. Keanu tries the weed and says “I like it”, giving Skod’s weed the legendary Wholesome Keanu Reeves Seal of Approval. Skodwarde’s sales go up when people learn the weed is Keanu Reeves approved, earning the farm tons of Wholesome 100 awards and Reddit karma, turning Skodwarde into a farmer of two fields now. (*drum snare*) Skolliam gets wind of this and decides to open his own marijuana farm, known as “Integrity Farms”, ensuing another cock contest between the two gods. Skolliam employs SpongeBob and Patrick as his slaves, which goes as well as you expect. Skolliam’s farm falls apart, while Tegridy Farms continues to stay throughout the season. After his glorious cameo, Keanu is warped out of the episode and sent forward in time to his next available appearance. This is gonna be a ride.

The Redpilling: One day, Patrick ends up joining a secret special club in Bikini Bottom known as “The Fandom Menace”, consisting of several anti-SJW grifter YouTubers, Jeremy from Geeks + Gamers, and various incels. Their leader is the titular TheQuartering, definitely not guest starring as himself. SpongeBob tries to get Patrick out of the cult, but soon, he is roped into it too. The two become corrupted by the red pill and turn into another pair of anti-SJW YouTubers. They start to red pill the rest of Bikini Bottom, with their biggest claim to fame being a 5 hour video on why The Last Of Us 2 is shit and SJW propaganda. Keanu blips back into existence for his cameo, but is immune to the red pill effects. Skodwarde is not amused by this, which may seem shocking given he is the show’s literal Nazi, but only he is allowed to brainwash people into a cult! He joins forces with Sandy to help blue pill SpongeBob and Patrick and wipe out the cult. Several members get away and vow revenge, setting up one of the era’s new story arcs.

The Ballad of Filthy Muk: One day, Patrick is upset to learn that Muk is not obtainable in Pokemon Sword and Shield. While dumpster diving, he then finds a strange sludge creature which resembles Muk and decides to make him his new best friend. Nautical nonsense ensues, with the Bottomites wanting Muk driven out of town. The cast then all come to an odd realization at the end of the episode: Patrick doesn’t even play Pokemon. In fact, he doesn’t even know what the hell Muk is. This has been…The Vibrator Zone. *ominous music plays* (callback to a gag first done in the Skodified version of No Pictures Please)

Gary’s Got Jeans: One day, Gary decides he needs to grow up and get his own pair of jeans. Gary then makes a deal with Skodwarde to give him legs so he can actually wear said jeans. Gary goes through a tremendous character arc in this episode that sticks with the rest of the season, much to the fandom’s surprise. Keanu makes a cameo at the clothes store, where he sees Gary with SpongeBob. This makes him freeze up, unsure what to say. He looks at Gary, the two having a tender moment, even though Gary does not recognize him in this dimension. He realizes how happy Gary is with SpongeBob, his true owner, and it warms his heart to see another Gary is living a happy life. With this, Keanu makes peace with his death and ascends to his next cameo.

Swamp Lovers: One day, the team learns Lewd House’s ratings are threatening Skodwarde again, so they decide to do a unique experiment: Patrick and Bubblebath get lost in Shrek’s swamp together and form a tenderly bond. Perhaps…something even more. 😳 Seriously, are these guys in love? In a shocking move to the fandom, this episode canonized the ship of Patrick and Bubblebath. Much of the Skodwarde community was divided by this decision; some praised it, others felt it was too rushed without build-up, Bubblebath is a toxic influence on Patrick, or just wanted PatBob canon. This especially infuriates The Fandom Menace, who return to put a stop to this forced agenda. The power of gayness is able to ward them off, as Patrick and Bubblebath escape the swamp, hand in hand. 

Skod’s on a Bus: One day, Skodwarde gets tickets to a Lonely Island concert and winds up getting stuck on a bus in a foursome with SpongeBob, Patrick and Scott. The episode then pretty much devolves into a Season 6 esque episode but with decent animation. Keanu makes a cameo as a passenger, looking on at the whacky hijinks in fascination and disgust. Take a good hard look at the motherfucking bus!

Karen’s Babby: One day, when the Lewd House threatens ratings yet again, the team realizes they need a big status quo shake-up with Plankton and Karen’s relationship. Plankton realizes Karen is pregnant as a result of the events that occurred in the acclaimed Season 11 classic “Karen’s STD.” Karen gives birth to a calculator known as Chip. Plankton becomes a deadbeat dad, leading to Karen bitching again. It gets to the point where Plankton questions if he’s actually Chip’s father or not, but learns he is after a deep and tight “analysis" with Karen where they reconcile. He also finds and reconciles with Chip, who has grown up so fast before their eyes into his own robot, ready to leave the nest. Plankton and Karen let out several tears, wishing him best of luck in his future endeavors. He may or may not be seen again after this episode. Probably will be another (Cum) Spot scenario where he gets remembered once a season. And who says Skodwarde ain’t afraid to break the status quo!?

BadSkod CoolTesticles: One day, Skodwarde gets really sick of the ugly ass gap in SpongeBob’s teeth and decides to finally fix it, but with a twist: using it as a chance to crossover with OMJ’s old spin-off, BadBob CoolPants! Yep, even in this era we couldn’t avoid another shameless crossover. Skodwarde gives SpongeBob’s teeth such a godly fix that it transforms him into the persona of BadBob CoolPants, much to Skodwarde’s pleasure. Skodwarde takes BadBob under his wing as his new apprentice, fucking around with residents and giving him an all access pass to the Blow Your Load Lounge, a jizz club. Keanu makes a cameo as the bouncer at said club.

How Dirty Bubble Got His Groove Back: One day, Dirty Bubble leaves prison a rehabilitated member of society, now going by the moniker of the Woke Bubble. However, The Fandom Menace are not happy at this change in characterization, feeling the Skodwarde team is turning its villains into soy boys. Woke Bubble gets a job at the Krusty Krab, trying his best to stay clean. Unfortunately, after much nautical nonsense involving eating dirt, The Fandom Menace are able to redpill him back into the Dirty Bubble after he is subject to a 69 page document about the Krusty Krab’s horrific working conditions. Keanu makes a cameo as a Krustomer.

SpongeBob in LSD Land: One day, in a pseudo spiritual successor to Skodwarde in Porn Land, SpongeBob has to make a special Krusty Krab delivery to a strange location known as LSD Land. True to its name, SpongeBob gets the highest dose of LSD possible and goes on a magical, wild ride, mang. Keanu makes a cameo as one of the LSD Land residents, just as confused as everyone else. This episode also made reference to the infamous creepypasta Skodwarde’s Suicide, which blew the internet up.

SpongeBob’s Bhad Habit: One day, SpongeBob becomes unhealthily addicted to OnlyFans accounts. Skodwarde makes another bet for SpongeBob to go 24 hours without looking at OnlyFans, calling back to Funny Pants and A Day Without Jerking Off (as seen in Skodwarde episodes 65b and 136a!). SpongeBob ends up winning the bet, barely, and Skodwarde has to make his own OnlyFans account as a result. Skodwarde ends up taking a liking to this platform though, and this new side hustle of his will also be a reoccurring running gag throughout the season. Skodwarde sure is gonna rake in that dough with both Tegridy Farms and OnlyFans.

Handy Wrestling Federation: One day, Skodwarde uses his god powers to make the Cum Bucket’s hand come to life and wreak havoc across Bikini Bottom. Meanwhile, following his farm failure, Skolliam has pursued a new business endeavor by acquiring the rights to Condom Universe (unlike the show we’re keeping that change). He uses his god powers to turn the park’s hand alive, causing it to get into a hand wrestling match of the century with the Cum Bucket hand, here tonight! Keanu and OMJ make cameos as the commentators. 

The…Break Time!: One day, SpongeBob gets a rare lunch break at the Krusty Krab and discovers the secret break room which hasn’t been opened in years. He finds a secret door in the room which takes him to the alternate Bikini Bottom reality from The Algae’s Always Greener (as seen in Skodwarde episode 41a!). This leads to quite an interesting experience in its own right.

Now that we’re at a good break point, literally, let’s shift away from the Season 12 verse for a moment and see what Skodwarde is up to, shall we?

At Skodwarde’s Legion of Doom lair, he is playing poker with Dutchman, Poseidon, Pathulu and Spengbab at a table. Skodwarde asks if they have any updates on Keanu’s whereabouts, to which they all shrug. Skodwarde furiously flips the table and asks why he even hired them, to which Dutchman and Poseidon aren’t sure themselves either. Spengbab makes incoherently babbling noises. Pathulu asks if he’ll get his family members from Dimension 420 back, but Skodwarde ignores him, making Pathulu unamused. Skodwade takes a look at his multiverse television, showcasing every one. He realizes the Qanon dimension has been vaporized, which baffles him as he didn’t do that. Dutchman suggests another Skodwarde did it on their own accord, but Skodwarde says that is impossible, unless…

He flips through more of the dimensions, where he sees Skolliam in Dimension 92, a timeline where SpongeBob and friends never escaped Atlantis, resulting David Bowie and his army conquering the seas. They realize that somehow…Skolliam returned. Poseidon remarks it appears this Skolliam is actually one of Skod’s clones who must have gained independent thought. Skodwarde is furious at this, as he took many many many precautions to ensure his clones could not break free, and especially not allow for another Skolliam to emerge anywhere, but much like Keanu, this one was also able to unplug from the matrix. Dutchman says he warned him this multiverse concept could blow up in his face and he should’ve just left it off back in 2019 where nobody could rise up, but Skodwarde refuses to listen and his pride insists he can still fix this, akin to a Shakespearean character. He keeps flipping through the channels wondering where Keanu is now, when Poseidon suggests he try the secret channel for Dimension 0. Skodwarde thought he scrapped that dimension, but gives it a shot and pops a boner in surprise at seeing Keanu making his cameos throughout the world. Skodwarde tells Pathulu and Spengbab they will ambush Keanu together, who is the bigger threat, then deal with the Skolliam afterwards. 

Meanwhile, in Dimension 92, Skolliam absorbs the energy of Bowie’s army, gaining him more power to take down Skodwarde. He then nukes the dimension and escapes into the Skodverse. As he travels through the inter-dimensional tunnel, he catches a glimpse of Dimension 0, showed to see Keanu still alive in it making a cameo. Skolliam is curious as to how this mortal survived his nuke…was he immune to god powers? He realizes he underestimated him and that there’s more to him than he let on. He jumps into Dimension 0, deciding to observe this Keanu character from the shadows.

Alright, back to the rest of Skodwarde Season 12!

Skodwarde’s Big Birthday Blowing: One day, Skodwarde realizes it’s his 10th anniversary of existing as a spin-off, so he decides to have the wildest party possible in his third tv movie, jam packed with tons of cameos, including Keanu, Scarlett Johansson and even David Hasselhoff in the most blatant fan service ever done. However, an unexpected guest crashes the party: Squidward himself, shocking everyone! Yes, the show’s 10th anniversary special has decided to answer one of the show’s biggest mysteries: where is Squidward? Squidward explains how he was banished to a world known as the Scrapped Dimension and after years, was finally able to escape. For revenge, Squidward banishes the main cast to the Scrapped Dimension and plans to set the spin-off straight. From there, an altered version of Bad Times at Scrapped Dimension plays out, which would’ve been a perfect fit for this episode (seriously, if Skod had actually gone for 12 seasons, we would’ve absolutely used that premise for this). 

The Roast of Plankton: One day, Plankton decides to team up with The Flying Dutchman for his latest scheme in a unique change of pace. Plankton demands the Dutchman teach him how to become a ghost, so he kills him. Karen finds his rotting corpse and holds a funeral for him at the Cum Bucket, where the main cast attends, including Keanu in a cameo. When it’s Keanu’s turn to give words of wisdom, he says something similar to this, moving the audience to tears:

Krabs is next up, and begins to shed tears realizing his former best friend’s is truly gone for real. He’d miss that little shit, he couldn’t believe to say. Suddenly, gears are shifted and the tragedy turns into a comedy. Comedy Central decides to turn the funeral into a roast of Plankton, LIVE FROM THE CUM BUCKET! Several celebrities rush in (some of whom being a few remnants of The Elites), ready to roast the living hell out of Plankton’s corpse. The cast begins to laugh their asses off and get in their own roasts. This infuriate phantom Plankton, who invokes his ghostly wrath on them alongside Dutchy, leading to a fun time.

Evil Kelp: Army of Fans: One day, Lewd House yet again threatens ratings, so here’s another experimental episode. In a sequel to Girls Night Out, Puff Mama, Sandy, Karen and newest member Pole decide to check out a creepy haunted cabin in the woods. The Fandom Menace catches wind of this, who are not happy about this episode’s forced feminist agenda and try to sabotage the Gal Pals’ plans by raising the Army of the Living Dead (as seen in Skodwarde episode 46b!). The episode then turns into a parody of Evil Dead, one OMJ has really wanted to do. Doug Walker also makes a special guest cameo to talk about how much he loves Evil Dead 2 but won’t review it.

The Vaccinated Krab (aka, The BANNED Skodwarde Episode): One day, following an outbreak of COVID-19 on the premises that drives customers away, Krabs decides he has no choice but to the knee to the Master Fauci and his New World Order by demanding every customer must now be vaccinated or to gtfo. Keanu makes a cameo as a Krustomer again. Unfortunately, due to vast protests from anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers, this episode has been banned from airing in the states. Not even Skodwarde could avoid the wrath of cancel culture. That’s fucked up

Breaking Bubblebath: One day, Bubblebath realizes he needs to pay off his tab for the Krusty Krab or Krabs will deny him service. In order to pay off the debt, Bubblebath decides to team up with his lover Patrick for a nice callback to Swamp Besties to cook meth together. When they get in trouble with the popo, they end up enlisting the help of the best criminal lawyer, Saul Goodman, to bail them out. Keanu makes a cameo as Saul’s bodyguard. Some fans speculate this episode was a setup for a potential spin-of down the road. You’re goddamn right.

Escape from Condom Universe: One day, SpongeBob, Patrick and Scott take a trip to Condom Universe, but see it is much different under Skolliam’s brutal regime. The three are sent to work camps and try to devise a plan to escape. In the end, after nautical nonsense involving many condom puns and rides, they are able to overthrow Skolliam thanks to Skodwarde’s help. Keanu makes a cameo as one of the Condom Universe security guards.

As S12 Skolliam plots his next scheme, suddenly, the alt-Skolliam appears before him. Before S12 Skolliam can react, alt-Skolliam vaporizes him (F). He says there can only be one, and this is his ticket to meet Keanu.

Sleepy Pants 2: Electric Boogaloo: One day, in the Season 12 finale, SpongeBob decides to do indulge in leftover LSD he had from LSD Land with Patrick and Scott. SpongeBob comes up with an idea to invade people’s dreams again, this time as a group effort with Patrick and Scott. The two are excited at the prospect, as they decide to lucid dream together. They hop around various characters’ dreams, and even end in Keanu’s. Keanu takes the form of a tumbleweed in this dream. 

“Hello SpongeBob. Nice cock.” Keanu greeted to him, as SpongeBob blushes.

They are about to enter Skolliam’s dream next, but the world around them glitches. Something’s not right, as Skolliam uses his god powers to stop the episode. He pulls SpongeBob and Patrick into the void, leaving Scott behind because he doesn’t care enough about him. Scott shrugs and hops into his own dream. Keanu and Painty both appear in the void as well. They realize this must mean the season is over, or so they think. Skolliam shows himself, approaching menacingly. Keanu is ready to fight, as SpongeBob, Patrick and Painty are scared shitless. Skolliam laughs maniacally, walking closer. He tells Keanu that he’s been trying to catch him ALL DAY and now that he’s got him right where he wants them…he’d like to join forces with him to kill Skodwarde. Keanu, SpongeBob, Patrick and Painty all shit their pants at this. Skolliam apologizes for their first encounter, but says after observing and researching, he realizes Keanu is the perfect anti-Skodwarde weapon. He is still the President of the Skodwarde Hate Club, after all. Keanu asks if he can really trust another Skodwarde, but Skolliam explains he’s disowned that identity. He is furious at how another version of himself had his story arc completely botched in the final season, so he wants to set things straight. He should’ve won the final battle, not the literal ass pull that was the Clusterfuck!

Suddenly, the real Skodwarde appears alongside his two henchmen Pathulu and Spengbab. “OHHH SHIT!” Painty yells in fear. Skodwarde thanks Skolliam for making this much easier for him, now he can kill two birds with one stone. Skolliam immediately fires several god blasts, which bounce off of Skodwarde’s mighty body. Skodwarde then vaporizes Skolliam into ash right there. Wah wah wah. Keanu is shocked, as he meets Skodwarde face to face for the first time. Skodwarde says he should be sacred now that he’s facing the real deal, not some shitty knock-off version. Keanu tells SpongeBob and Patrick to deal with the other two, as he’ll try to hold off Skodwarde. Keanu fires his gun, but like with Skolliam before, the bullets have no effect on Skodwarde. Keanu fires a god blast back at Keanu, which also has no effect on him, much to Skodwarde’s shock. This was not good for him.

Painty screams and runs around in circles on the battlefield. Pathulu attacks Patrick, grabbing him with his tentacles. However, instead of devouring him, Pathulu decides to make Patrick an offer even he isn’t stupid enough to refuse. Pathulu is not particularly happy that Skodwarde wiped out his family in Dimension 420 and that he was robbed of his own spin-off show. He also believes he deserves to be the universe’s final endgame villain, especially with all the buildup Jjs gave him for his return only for him to be thrown aside for a cheap joke. What kind of jackass does that!? He promises together they can overthrow Skodwarde and the two would live like kings in their own spin-off. Although the offer sounds tempting, Patrick is having an internal struggle processing it. His subconscious tells him the offer is no good to him if Pathulu will kill all of his friends. Patrick then throws some LSD from his pocket right into Pathulu’s eyes, blinding him. Patrick, using his one brain cell, realizes he’s still in the dream world imagines him wearing the ice cream cone on his head from Hall Monitor (as seen in Skodwarde episode 7a!). Patrick fatally stabs Pathulu with it, as he disintegrates, shocking everyone on the scene. This redeems himself to the fanbase, completing his character arc.

SpongeBob is proud of Patrick, as he gets wailed on by the rabid Spengbab and punched around. As Skodwarde and Keanu continue to duel, both essentially in a stalemate, Skodwarde taunts SpongeBob by telling him he’ll never become a man even with the Goofy Goober. SpongeBob says that’s not true and gets back up, mustering his fighting spirit, and channeling it into the ultimate karate attack. Just as Patrick did, SpongeBob dreams his karate gear to appear. He jumps up and unleashes his full karate fury on Spengbab, slicing him into many pieces. SpongeBob has completed his own character arc too. It’s so heartwarming it brings a tear to even Painty, who says he was always rooting for him. Skodwarde would be more annoyed, but this makes him realize he didn’t need lowly henchmen and Pathulu was going to turncoat on him anyways. He decides to put an end to this circle jerking and prepares to nuke the Season 12 verse. Seeing the two were able to dream up weapons, Keanu asks if they could dream a portal out of here. SpongeBob and Patrick aren’t sure if it’ll work but they think as hard as possible, while Keanu tries to hold off on Skodwarde. The two are able to craft open the portal, but won’t be able to keep it open for long, telling Keanu and Painty to go on without them.

“Goodbye, SpongeBob and Patrick.” Keanu said tearfully, in one of the most legitimate emotional moments of the series, and no, we’re not gonna interrupt it with a joke. 

SpongeBob and Patrick wish the two best of luck on their journey and hope they can defeat Skodwarde. Keanu and Painty jump into the portal, which closes behind. SpongeBob and Patrick brace for the end together. Skodwarde then nukes Dimension 0 off the face of reality. The hole in space-time takes Keanu and Painty to the next available dimension it can find. The two exit the portal and find themselves in…Planktopolis. Yep, we’re bringing the movie trilogy full circle. 

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