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One-Time Star Wars Characters: Where Are They Now?


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EPISODE XV: DROIDS

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Droids are the universe's backbone, behind the love, menial labor, and fancy computerized stuff of the galaxy. These three droids have contributed much to the world of Star Wars, so you should be happy to know we'll be looking at none of them today. Instead, we have some much more interesting stories.

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Bonk, the Gonk droid in the Jawa sandcrawler

Bonk had watched friends and acquaintances come into its life and disappear just as quickly for decades, and this gold and blue duo was no different. But luck changed when it overheard a choice encounter between its hooded masters and an unknown buyer. They were selling it—to an old, eccentric junk dealer living in Mos Espa. “HEY, GET TO WORK!” he said with a snarl. Bonk had finally found its forever home: powering an automated gambling machine for Watto.

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E-3PO, the droid that yelled "E chu ta!" at C-3PO

E-3PO had worked as Cloud City’s resident spy droid for a while now, but his job was rather pointless now that the Empire controlled Bespin completely and everyone important had skipped town. So the Empire transferred him—he would now be undertaking recon efforts on the forest moon of Endor, where he could hopefully win the Ewoks’ trust in order to kill and eat them later. But this didn’t last long after the Rebels took Endor and captured E-3PO. Not knowing what to do with him, they painted the droid gold and rented him out as “C-3PO” to weddings and birthdays wanting to have a Rebel hero at their party. It is a lonely, lonely existence.

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TC-14

The official narrative states that the Trade Federation moved TC-14 to their biggest, grandest battleship, which a nine-year old had destroyed during the Battle of Naboo. So she was dead—or was she? Her memory archives survived in the vacuum of space, floating around before they came to rest on the planet Corellia, where junkers used them to rebuild her. Free from the memory wipes that had once plagued her, she became a deadly bounty hunter and contract killer, which inspired a young protocol droid named 4-LOM to follow in her footsteps.

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GA-97, the Resistance spy droid on Takodana

Having succeeded in helping the Resistance find BB-8, GA-97 had completely served its purpose. There was nothing left for it to do. To cope with its newfound uselessness, the droid now does pub crawls across the Outer Rim, drinking its days away with pints of motor oil.

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ME-8D9, Maz's personal assistant

“Emmie” had lived in the Takodana castle for thousands of years, and felt a little lost when the First Order destroyed it. But she would live on. Climbing aboard a spaceship, she pursued a new life powering an intergalactic HoloNet café on Jedha, where lowlifes would come to develop crippling addictions to pornography and social media.

 

Tomorrow, expect a look at more machines, and the pilots who raced them.

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EPISODE XVI: PODRACERS

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Podracing: one of the galaxy's most famous, and dangerous, forms of entertainment. Underneath those pilot helmets are racers with their own tales and journeys. Anakin Skywalker and Ben Quadinaros may be the most iconic racers, but left behind in the dust are several other icons in need of attention. Now this is podracing!

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Sebulba

Sebulba continued podracing, eventually becoming Ben Quadrinaros’s sworn rival, which made for quite the entertaining rivalry to viewers. He eventually grew bored of podracing and moved onto battle racing, which managed to be even deadlier than podracing. Sadly, in 5 ABY, Sebulba’s stardom came to a halt as he would die in an abrupt, fiery battle racing crash, just another statistic in the ever dangerous galactic sport. Quadinaros was one of the few people who would attend his funeral, showing a sign of respect even after their heated rivalry.

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Gasgano

Due to finishing second place at Boonta Eve Classic, Gasgano harbored bitter jealousy towards the young Anakin Skywalker who managed to best him. The two never saw each other again after that day, but Gasgano would never live it down that he was defeated by a child, as his fellow podracers would constantly berate him over. Even his homeworld of Troiken laughed at him. With each passing year, Gasgano started to do progressively worse in races. He eventually saw this career wasn’t for him anymore and retired from podracing altogether, hanging up the helmet. He settled down on Batuu to be left alone, not having to worry about anymore stupid kids. One day, he purchased the droid GH-7 from a merchant, reactivating it and becoming Gasgano’s first friend in ages. Two former professionals who had their careers ripped away, united together. A heartwarming tale, truly.

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Ebe E. Endocott

If you thought Gasgano was angry, you should’ve seen Ebe E. Endocott. He should’ve felt grateful that he was lucky enough to finish, yet his loss sent him into an anger-fueled psychosis. Storming into the Jundland Wastes, he tried to take it out on a herd of wild eopies peacefully grazing. Instead, they charged him, and their pack leader Gilbert crushed his skull into the sand with a stomp of his hoof. 

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Elan Mak

Mak continued to podrace, but as time went on, his skills grew worse and worse, eventually only ever being able to finish last. He gave up on the podracing career and became an engineer and entrepreneur, opening up his own ship company known as Alset. They aren’t very good (and also don’t have radios for some reason), but his witty charm tricks people into thinking they are, and they fall for it every time. He now has a massive galactic social media presence, being praised by many just for existing on it, posting funny memes, or posting porn. Wild, huh?

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Mars Guo

Mars Guo’s devastating Boonta Eve crash crippled him from the waist down, ending his career forever. He was not discouraged, though, and pursued a successful career as a world-class ship designer. But one day, thugs broke into his studio, stole his designs and prototypes, and left a laser bolt in his brain. The next day, Elan Mak’s company Alset announced their new model of ship.

 

Tomorrow, we'll take a look at the political side of the galaxy, examining several forgotten senators and figureheads.

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EPISODE XVII: POLITICIANS

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"I love democracy," Chancellor Sheev Palpatine once said. We at One-Time love democracy and politicians so much, that we were so happy to learn that their trade embargo kept us from posting this episode way earlier than we should've. The Galactic Senate is a proud institution and always will be, so what have some of its more esoteric members been up to?

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Aang

After a successful career as a politician, Aang mysteriously disappeared from the scene when the galaxy needed him most. It is said he went into a deep spiritual meditation, and never returned from it. It is rumored that he was reborn in another dimension as the protagonist of a Nickelodeon cartoon. Far out.

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Grebleips

Grebleips’ distinguished Senate career abruptly ended after space journalists revealed a shocking affair between him and one of Naboo’s handmaidens. He then pursued a series of other galactic ventures under an assumed name, such as a film production company and an unsuccessful theme park franchise. But he was soon exposed, and exiled to the distant future in a galaxy far, far away. I heard they made a movie about it.

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Baron Papanoida

As the Empire began to occupy his homeland of Pantora, Baron Papanoida found himself surrounded by eager yes-men, ready to follow his orders at a moment’s notice. Confused yet excited at this new development, the Baron turned the moon into a self-contained dictatorship, where he was free to rule how he pleased even if the Empire had a blaster barrel pointed at his head. He may have gone too far in a few places.

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Riyo Chuchi

Following the end of the Clone Wars, Chuchi continued to represent Pantora in the Galactic Senate, but she wasn’t happy about it as she quickly saw how brutal the Empire became. She resigned, heading back to Pantora, but then fled from there too once Baron turned it into his own dictatorship. During her time in hiding, she found a new passion in music and began an underground career as a galactic pop singer. Once the Empire was gone, she took her music mainstream, cracking high numbers on the Galactic Billboard. She considered doing a collab with Sy Snootles at one point to help her career, but the plans fell through the cracks.

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Nee Alavar

Senator Alavar’s fears were coming true: Chancellor Palpatine had become a tyrant, and the Republic had morphed into a fascist dictatorship. Armed with a blaster, she burst into the Emperor’s office to confront him herself. 

“Chancellor, your rule of terror is about to end.”

“...Who are you again?”

The Royal Guard detained her shortly afterward and threw her into the rancor pit, one of Palpatine’s favorite death chambers. Isn’t it funny when they squirm?

 

Tomorrow we take a dive into a politician's worst nightmare: crime. Stay tuned.

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EPISODE XVIII: SCUM AND VILLAINY

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The galaxy's criminal underworld contains many seedy, colorful and vile malefactors. You know the big players, such as big Jabba himself. But what happened to the smaller players, who were largely forgotten in the whispers throughout the underworld?

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Tak

After escaping the spice mines of Kessel, Tak went right back to his con artist ways, trying to rob suckers. However, one of his previous victims from the Coruscant days recognized him and called the Imperials. They intervened and arrested Tak, throwing him into a prison. He was bummed at first, but eventually started to like the prison life more than the outside world. Unfortunately, one day, another one of his previous victims he ripped off wasn’t too happy to see him in prison. Tak was then promptly shanked to death on sight. Moral of this story: Come back to haunt you, your actions will. 

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Yoxgit

Yoxgit only barely managed to jump off the exploding sail barge just in time, landing into the sand below. He was about to run free, eager to return to his illegal tibanna business. That was until a piece of barge debris struck him, sending him flying into the sarlacc pit. While being digested into the beast, he saw the legendary bounty hunter Boba Fett in there too, trying to fight his way out. Yoxgit tried to call for his aid, but Boba was a little preoccupied trying to save his own life first. More debris from the barge fell into the sarlacc, hitting Yoxgit and making him fall deeper into the sarlacc’s digestive system, never to be seen again. 

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Hat Lo

Despite how much he claimed to be a big bad crime lord on par with the Hutts, in truth, Hat Lo was nothing more than a petty thug who had a decent amount of cash. At one point, his slave Ayy Vida managed to escape his clutches, making him become a laughing stock of the underworld. It was at this point Lo realized failed as a criminal, he had. He knew when to fold ‘em, deciding to retire from the thug life and open a hat store. They’re very nice hats. 

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Bala-Tik

Somehow, Han Solo had escaped the Guavian Death Gang once again. After informing the First Order of their whereabouts, Bala-Tik started to wonder if this was all worth it after realizing those rathtars ate his whole platoon. He deserted the gang and returned to his home planet of Dnaltocs, where he leads a simple life playing the pipes and selling traditional puddings made out of space-sheep organs. They taste better than they sound, we promise.

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Kardue’sai’Malloc, aka Labria

Kardue continued to live on Tatooine in hiding under the alias of “Labria”, with nobody suspecting his criminal past or recognizing him. He had one of the highest bounties in galaxy history and was on almost every wanted list, so he did his hardest to keep a low profile, well, as low as you could on Tatooine. However, his past eventually caught up to him one day in 7 ABY, when a random Mos Eisley patron recognized him. After a report was filed, several New Republic officers arrived to apprehend him. Kardue made a run for it into the vast Tatooine deserts, never looking back. He braved through the harsh deserts for days without food or water, which was impressive. One night, he found a mysterious camping spot and needing to rest, decided to take it, not caring who it belonged to. The next morning, the New Republic agents found his body in the sand, dead via blaster, and the camp site was cleared out. Nobody knows who ultimately killed him, but there are theories, ranging from Tusken Raiders, a rogue bounty hunter (although the bounty was never claimed), or a rival criminal wanting to settle an old score. To this day, it remains a perplexing unsolved mystery.

 

Tomorrow, we'll look at the untold stories from one of the galaxy's most iconic locations: Mos Eisley Cantina.

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EPISODE XIX: THE MOS EISLEY CANTINA

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This cantina is a clean, bustling place, as you can see. But don't you know it used to be a wretched hive of scum and villainy? Many people once frequented this seedy place, but have since then parted ways. So what have they been up to?

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The Bith Band

Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes was their name, and success was their game. Well, not really. The little arm-slicing incident told them they were destined for greater venues than this disgusting, smelly cantina, and they set off into the desert the next day. Their tour didn’t last long, though—Sandtroopers mistook them for Rebel agents and slaughtered them in their sleep. Only one Bith, Figrin D’an himself, survived. He’s still in the industry, though—you can catch his production work on the new Unkinem album.

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Momaw Nadon ("Hammerhead")

Momaw Nadon had been exiled—dealing with the Empire led to exile from his peaceful agrarian homeworld, leaving him trapped on this deserted rock. Seeing a man get dismembered by a giant blue glow stick reminded him of the hatred he felt. He went home and vowed to have revenge on the Empire, with the same kind of violence he’d seen that day. Thirty-four years later, he is now known as General Momaw Nadon, leading general of the Resistance.

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Wuher

Wuher continued bartending for the cantina along with still harboring an extreme prejudice against droids. People also dug up his social media posts containing droidphobic insults, which caused people to threaten a Mos Eisley boycott if it he was not fired. The upper management eventually got tired of the numerous complaints and fired him. Wuher now lives alone, getting drunk and continuing to rant about his hatred of droids on social media.

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Jerriko

Jerriko continued to be a regular of the cantina, offering his services for a good kill, and smoking his pipe nonstop which started to irritate the other customers after a while. Wuher kindly asked him to take it outside many times, but Jerriko always refused. Annoyed by constant complaints, the upper management had enough and banned him, much to Jerriko’s anger, but he eventually relented and took his services elsewhere. He hopped around various cantinas across the galaxy, and even saw Beedo sitting around at a few. One night he got a bit too drunk and wandered off into the streets at night. One thing lead to another, resulting in him joining a pirate crew. To this day, he cannot recall how these events unfolded, nor will any of his crewmates say.

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Takeel and Zutton ("Snaggletooth")

Unlike most of the other cantina patrons that day, the Snaggletooths found dismemberment extremely funny, and felt inspired to create comedy out of it. The two became Tak n’ Zut, a mediocre comedy duo that tours across the Outer Rim. After criticizing Emperor Palpatine in one of their sets, the Empire poured millions of credits into finding and killing them with probe droids. They did not succeed, and they continue to travel the galaxyto this day.

Tomorrow we close our season with a very similar location, almost like it's from a movie that mirrors A New Hope's plot exactly.

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EPISODE XX: TAKODANA CASTLE

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We close out the season with another episode on a location from the sequels. Much like Mos Eisley, Takodana Castle was another home for many seedy figures and under Maz Kanata's ownership flourished as a popular haven for them. But you see, what really sets it apart from Mos Eisley is how it's a fancy, gigantic castle. They also had a pretty nice view of a lake instead of a boring desert, so that's cool too. Before the First Order blew it to smithereens, here's the tale of several figures that used to frequent there. They're not Disney princesses, but they're just as special, we think.

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Hassk Triplets

With the First Order gone and the galaxy at peace again (for now), Varmik and his two brothers decided to go around the galaxy solving mysteries with their grand uncle. Hassk tales, woo oo!

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Grummgar

Grummgar, great hunter and mercenary, spent his last hours with his girlfriend Bazine Netal, not knowing that they were not actually dating and that she was really just spying for the First Order. As the Takodana Castle crumbled around them, he gave her his most prized possession: his 242 hunting rifle, feeling she would put it to good use after his death. As rocky debris crushed and choked Grummgar, Bazine chucked the gun away and ran for her life. A true symbol of their love.

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Sidon Ithano

After the Battle of Exegol, Sidon continued his pirate life, but now wanting to be known as Captain Sidon Ithano, savvy? He embarked on many nautical space adventures with his pirate crew, and developed a rum addiction. This is the tale of Captain Sidon Ithano, a pirate so brave, on the galactic seas! Drink up me hearties, yo ho yo ho. 

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Cookie Tuggs (Strono Tuggs), Takodana Chef

After the Battle of Exegol, Tuggs decided his cooking career had a lot more potential beyond Takodana. He started his own reality show called Tuggs’ Kitchen, where teams of chefs compete for a job as head chef. The show became a success and Tuggs’ publicity skyrocketed. He even guest starred on Klaud and Chewie’s talk show, which ended up being their most viewed episode yet.

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Pru Sweevant

Pru Sweevant was a loyal man, and loyal to his captain he stayed. While the rest of his crew died during Takodana Castle’s destruction, he served as Captain Ithano’s devoted sidekick for many rum-swilling, swashbuckling years afterward. But after a while, the first mate learned he was only getting a five percent cut of the treasure. Now finding loyalty overrated, he committed mutiny and marooned his ex-captain on a desolate moon. Here begins the tale of Captain Pru Sweevant.

 

That's all for Season 2 folks, thanks for continuing to tune into our tales, we appreciate it. See you this fall for Season 3.

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