Post Fiction V13

[Old Man Jenkins]

You can go back read all the past episodes at this link: https://www.thesbcommunity.com/forums/topic/8422-post-fiction-v6/?tab=comments#comment-341826 just ignore the season 2 episodes that I did post at that time. Those ain't canon anymore.

Imposter SOF; Casual poster, Loyal Customer...Impostor? Mysteriously being placed in the heart of The Community, now a much more peaceful place full of the most friendliest people around, he once caused civil unrest everywhere he went. Finally seeing himself sentenced to termination after eight years of inactivity, the book appears to be closing on the story of Imposter SOF. With no real purpose in life and with the sole intent to bang everything he sees, will he re-equip himself with me Mallet of Doom™ and escape death as only Imposter SOF can in a world where you still don't know who's real and who's fake? Will Imposter SOF find peace and figure out what his purpose in life really is? Find out, now.

Episode I: Banger.

SpongeBob Community Correctional Facility. 10:03 am

A 2012 roblox car pulls up to the front gate of the correctional facility. Patty Rose sticks out his heads and faces a security camera, flashing both his Fry Cook and press badges for the surveying guards to see. Word makes its way down and Patty is eventually given permission to pull into the premises. Patty exits the vehicle alongside Cha after parking it. They enter the main building and are immediately greeted by the facility's resident reviewer.

Steel: Here for your SBC News report?

Patty: Yes, hello! Good morning, Dr. Steel!

Cha: Howdy!

Steel leads them through the winding corridors of the facility.

Steel: I never thought I'd ever be around to see the day. The day that Imposter SOF dies.

Patty: A lot of the events pertaining to the subject of our report happened long before my, as well as most others, time here. Dr. Steel, would you mind informing me and our viewers watching at home on just who Imposter SOF is and what significance he has on the entire SpongeBob Community?

Steel: I suppose I wouldn't mind at all. You see, Imposter SOF first made his presence in the community known during a time of great turmoil. It was the same summer as the Summer of Hack 2011. The staff were also on the verge of all-out civil war, mind you. As you can probably tell by just that brief description, things were glaringly different back then compared to how they are now. We were still very much in the growing process back then, I see 2011 as being quite akin to the wild west period of the United States. 

Cha: Good times, pard. Good time.

Steel: Imposter SOF began his, what is now dubbed, "Mallet Massacre" in the Starbucks thread of the time. He mercilessly banged all the employees and patrons there before he moved on to banging our more "higher profile members". Old Man Jenkins and tvguy both fell at his hands first.

Cha: But I don't understand, they're both alive and well today?

Steel: Yes, all thanks in part to tvguy's latest innovation at the time. He had come up with a way to return users from death with a simple display of technical know-how in the Admin Control Panel. He was the first to discover it, and we've only made use of it about twice or three times since. That kind of power in the hands of the staff back then could've proven to be catastrophic. Our main admin at the time, Viceroy 70s, he nearly fell as well, but his wife wasn't so lucky, I'm afraid. Her death caused him to lose all grip on reality. He supposedly killed all three of their children in his hysterical state as his twisted way of "reuniting the family". Following the events of that, he...nearly led the community itself into oblivion. An encounter with Imposter SOF truly could do a number on someone both physically and mentally, it was as if his very presence had some sort of effect on almost all those who he encountered. It wasn't until he had single handedly defeated jjs and his wanton band of spinoff characters, the Sea Minors, that the rest of us staff really started to take note of the threat he really posed to the community. Even I had to step in to help put a stop to his madness, but all my efforts simply were not enough. Me and my partner, Sponge Sebastian, we failed in our mission. And because of that utter failure, it wasn't long until the decision was made to disband the Fry Cooks division entirely.  

Cha: Well, the Fry Cooks are back now and they're better than ever!

Steel: Yes, indeed, but I do wonder what the reason is as to why. Especially after so long.

Patty: jjs sees the value of a middle ground between being simple Customers and Cashiers. It helps to entice people into stepping up just a bit extra and help out around the community on a more frequent basis. Plus, the new GFX First Initiative has really helped to keep SBC beautiful!

Steel: That it does, I suppose. If I may say this off the record, I honestly think that for all the bad Imposter SOF did in his prime, he also very much managed to do the community a few solids throughout his reign. I mean, he did put a stop to Teenj's mass execution of guests, crippled the Dragin Syndicate by taking down some of their most lucrative illegal operations, and he even brought Spongebobiscool and Sbs1fan's criminal activities to a screeching halt, after all. Our colleague, Clappy,  he laid his life on the line in order to ensure the impostor's continued survival, even going so far as to rebel and fight against us. I think a part of me is genuinely saddened, pained even, to see Imposter SOF be terminated from the community in such a barbaric manner. Perhaps...perhaps things could've turned out differently had we actually warmed up to him more. He's been driven by nothing but pure instinct since joining, maybe some nurturing could've done his nature a world of good.

Cha: What's Imposter SOF's status like nowadays?

Steel: I'm afraid he hasn't spoken a single word since the Sbs1fan/WhaleBlubber Incident.

Patty: Really? From all those years ago?

Steel: Yes, really. Following the events of Summer 2011, quite a scuffle took place at the medical facility that the impostor was being held in. An attempt was made on his life by Shinya Ketsuekiran, having been sent there to do the deed by both his father and Dragin. Thankfully, we stopped him just in time. Unfortunately, sbs1fan also escaped amidst all the chaos. After that, I made sure that the rights to Imposter SOF were handed over to me. Since then, I've taken it upon myself to continue Clappy's work in rehabilitating him. However, despite my best efforts to reach out to him, to replicate the effect that the Clapmaster had on him, he has remained in complete silence for eight whole years. He hasn't even so much as requested more milk than what we currently provide for his lawyer.

Cha: Goddamn, mang. That sure ain't the Imposter SOF I know.

Steel: Then perhaps the Imposter SOF that you know is already dead, which makes this act of termination all the more unnecessary.

Patty: If they aren't replying, then jjs says that they simply must go.

Steel: Then in my expert opinion, as a reviewer, I must insist that his system is flawed. This poor creature has been abandoned by all those closest to him, left here without purpose. We could've given him one.

They reach a door leading out to the inner courtyard.

Steel: Now I must insist that you both not do anything that I wouldn't do. The users being monitored in this courtyard can be extremely hostile, to say the least. I suggest that neither of you cross any lines whatsoever. If in the case that you do, we have taken the liberty to mark these lines out for you. Do not go too far. I can not begin to stress that enough, which brings me to ask this question; just why are you pushing that wheelbarrow around in my state of the art reviewing facility?

He points over at Cha, who's the one pushing the wheelbarrow. It's covered in a tarp for reasons not yet known.

Cha: Patty and I thought it'd be...beneficial to...elicit a response from the impostor.

Steel: ...Good luck with that.

Steel unlocks the courtyard doors and pushes them wide open.

Steel: After you.

Patty is the first to step into the courtyard, followed by Cha with her wheelbarrow. Armed guards are seen scattered about to keep the restrained inmates (mostly cbox callbacks) in line. They walk past a pair of naked twins who can be overheard talking about eating Patty's tongue and Cha's liver. They then walk past someone dressed in makeshift armor made out cardboard, stained in blood.

Greyknight: I am the Grey Knight of the House 151! I demand my release immediately! I can't leave the sacred, holy, untouched land of Castle Renegade unguarded for too long! And it already been much too long!

Guard: There is no "Castle Renegade", you fucking loon. Maybe in jjs' new lit, but we're grounded firmly in reality here, sir. This is the sacred, holy, untouched land of my goddamned 9-5. So shut the fuck up until the end of my shift, please!

Patty and Cha next walk past a rather crass black gentleman.

Punk Bitch Asser: Looky here, a couple of punk ass bitches riped for the fuckin punk bitch assing!

Steel: Please don't harass our guests, Mr. Punk Bitch.

Punk Bitch Asser: Nahhh, the only punk bitch I see around here is you, doc! The biggest punk ass bitch of em all! Yeah, that's you, you fuckin bitch! You bitchin ass handin out your bitchin ass reviews to all these bitchin ass punks that ask! Well you ain't gettin shit from me! I ain't begging you, bitch! Take your little punk ass friends out of my sight! Yeah, that's right, bitch!

Steel: Please, don't pay much mind to him. He firmly believes everyone is a punk ass bitch all the same.

Patty: There's a place in the demon room for a guy like him.

Steel: He's one of our more benign prisoners here, quite actually. Whether you believe that or not, I'll leave it up to you.

They approach someone in a blue jumpsuit, sipping on a glass of apple juice.

Steel: Now this is the one you should be worried about the most. Please refrain from acknowledging the fact that he's drinking something. Doing so could change it to something, anything, at a moment's notice. We just so happened to have gotten lucky with the apple juice.

Blue John III: *spits out juice upon seeing them* How wonderful! A couple of guests of yours, Steel, I presume?

Steel: Your presumption is correct, Blue John.

Blue John III: It does always warm my heart to see you socializing, dear boy! Perhaps we can all go out for a drink tonight, my treat?!

Steel: We appreciate the offer, but sadly, we must decline for you a prisoner here and shall remain as such.

Blue John III: Yes, quite. But there's nothing quite like a drink between friends, right?!

Steel: You have no friends, Blue John. Your treacherous nature serves as an indicator as to why that is.

Blue John III: I do so enjoy our chats, Steel! Until next time, I suppose! *sips apple juice* Until next time. *sips again* Quite.

Finally, they approach a prisoner situationed in the center of the courtyard. He has his back facing towards them as they approach. Patty takes note of the extra precautions they've taken to restrain him, bound in both a straitjacket and chains that connects to the ground at his feet.

Steel: Alright. Up to the yellow line, and no further.

Patty cautiously approaches the yellow line Steel has marked down to guarantee her safety.

Steel: Imposter SOF? Imposter SOF, I've got some members here who would like to meet you!

Patty: Hello, Imposter SOF. My name is Patty Rose. I've been following your case for months, and yet I still barely know anything about you. I'd like to know more. About that summer. About those involved.

Patty steps even closer. Cha pushes the wheelbarrow closer behind her.

Patty: Do you ever think about them, Imposter SOF? Feel guilt about their fate?

Patty walks all the way up to the yellow line. Cha refrains from approaching any further.

Cha: That's it, I'm getting me wagon!

She tosses off the Fat Eustace print tarp that she got off deviantart to reveal something inside the wheelbarrow.

Patty: I've borrowed something from a friend at the Industrial Park, Imposter.

Patty reached into the wheelbarrow and slowly but surely pulls out me Mallet of Doom™. She holds it out in front of herself, past the yellow line. Imposter SOF's vision shifts back to the corner of his eye before facing his eyes forward again.

Patty: Are you feeling it now, Imposter?

All the other inmates stop what they're doing and they change their usernames watch this situation unfold intently.

Patty: You feel the mallet.

Blue John III: Oh quite, quite, yes, quite. *sips coconut milk*

Patty: Say something, Imposter SOF. Say something.

Greyknight: Wh-what is this great evil you have delivered unto us! Release me! The scared, holy, untouched land of Castle Renegade has been touched!

All the prisoners begin to freak out, as if touched by some unseen force. Some desperately try to escape their binds violently while others can only beg for for escape.

Patty: You feel it, can you.

Twin # 1: His tongue AND his liver.

Twin #2: Yours.

Twin #1: MINE.

Punk Bitch Asser: Eh what the fuck you think you doin, bitch?! Tryna get us all banged out here?! Fucking dumb ass, punk ass bitch!

Patty: It's a part of you. Say something.

Cha turns to Steel, concerned, but Steel gives her a reassuring gesture.

Patty: Say something, Imposter SOF!

Blue John III: *sips bleach and breaks glass in hand*

Greyknight: Release me! Before its too late!

This disturbance is also enough to get the attention of a prisoner inside the prison library.

Metal Snake: Hmm, it would seem that my adversaries all have a knack for digging their own graves.

The guards all train their weapons at Imposter SOF.

Punk Bitch Asser: Fucking ass! You's is a punk BEEOTCH!!!

Patty looks around at all the commotion she's causing around him, but she's pushing on.

Patty: SAY SOMETHIN-

https://youtu.be/zwoQfFqvMW8

Post Fiction V13

[Old Man Jenkins]

Episode II: It Follows! Termination Averted?!

Patty and Cha are shown driving away from the correctional facility in their 2012 roblox car. Cha has "Lollipop" by Mika playing on SBC Radio as she drives them to their next destination.

Cha: What a bust that was. I thought for sure my Eustace references would get some sort of reaction out of him. He always seemed so keen on those. Perhaps Steel was right, maybe he's already dead.

Patty is seen reviewing the security footage they obtained from the altercation on her laptop. She pauses and zooms in on the shot Imposter SOF glancing back at the corner of his eye following her unveiling of the Mallet of Doom™.

Patty: Maybe he was, but I think I may have just breathed some life back into him.

Cha: If I end up getting banged because of you, well, that'll just be okay!

Patty: You want to get banged?

Cha: There's worse ways of going out than by the hands of a longstanding glorified Courage the Cowardly Dog reference.

Patty: Yes, I suppose there is. Take the next right here.

Cha turns right into an old dirt road that leads them straight to a fortified house in the middle of a forest biome. What used to be a pony stable is located off to the side of the house, but now it seems to serve as a shooting range of sorts. Cha pulls up to an intercom, pushing a button that activates it, in hopes of making contact with the owner of the property.

Cha: Howdy SOF! This is Cha here, with Patty right beside me!

Patty: Yes, hello! Top of the afternoon to ya, SOF!

Cha: We're putting together a report for the latest SBC News and we were hoping we could get a word with you.

They receive no answer.

Cha: D-Do you have he doubloons, Patty?

Patty: Ah yes. Here you go.

Patty handed her over some of the doubloons that their station lent them.

Cha: We're willing to pay you 3000 doubloons for your cooperation. Please, anything you have to say would be greatly appreciated, SOF!

They could hear somebody getting on the other line.

SOF: I know that's only some of the doubloons you have on you. I'll give you my time only if you give me all of it.

Patty: What?! How did he-

Cha: Relax, the station only gave us 3005. It's a deal, SOF! May we have permission to enter now?

SOF buzzes them in. The gate in front of the property opens up and Cha proceeds to pull in. As they approach the door, SOF opens it before they could have the chance to knock.

SOF: Oha!

Patty: Thank you for having us in your...humble abode, SOF!

Cha: The pleasure is all ours!

Cha hands him the 3005 doubloons they promised him

SOF: So what is it that you want?

Patty: Right. Well, my colleague and I here are conducting a report on the life and times of...Imposter SOF as we approach his eventual termination.

SOF: He won't die, I can tell you that much.

Patty: Wh-What makes you say that?

SOF: We're connected me and him, in ways you and your viewers won't even begin to comprehend. I have spent the last seven years of my life, educating myself. I've managed to improve my posting style, speech, dialect, and grammar to college levels, all in an effort to hone it, so that I would never be underestimated or mistaken for him again.

Patty: And by "him" you mean Imposter SOF?

SOF: That is the object of my obsession ever since Star ended, yes. 

Cha: well this seems like trouble.

SOF: I've spent all this time bettering myself, that can only mean he spent all his time doing the same.

Patty: But when I saw him, SOF, he was bound. Locked up tight in chains. He wasn't even responding to anything at all, according to his reviewer.

SOF: That's exactly what he wants you to think. He wants you to feel for him, to get a rise out of you, so that the banging will be even sweeter in the end.

Patty thinks back to her earlier interaction with Imposter SOF and shudders in hindsight.

SOF: Tell me, how did he look? Did he look the same? The same as...me? I can't even go out into the community anymore without being constantly reminded of what that prick did to my reputation.

Patty: I've gathered that you were already dead by the time of his creation. How exactly did you die, SOF?

SOF: Horribly, I can tell you that much.

Patty: Do you know who exactly committed the deed?

SOF: That's what I'm still trying to find out.

Patty: You were brought back in The Great Returning of 2012, around the time of the launch of V8. What was that experience like for you?

SOF: It felt...it felt like I was brought back for a purpose.

Patty: What might that purpose be, SOF?

SOF: ...Time's up. Please see yourselves off my property now or else I'll have jjs down here. Have a nice day.

SOF shuts the door in their faces. Patty and Cha head back to their vehicle.

Patty: Well this is sure to rake in the ratings.

Cha: Really? I thought both interviews were shit.

The scene shifts to a few nights later. Practically the whole community was tuned in to their televisions that evening.

"Making your way in the world today
takes everything you've got
Wouldn't you like to get away? 
Sometimes you want to go 
Where everybody knows your shame, 
and they're always glad you came!
You wanna be where you can see, 
our troubles are all the same 
You wanna be where everybody knows 
Your shame

You wanna go where people know, 
people are all the same, 
You wanna go where everybody knows
Your shame"

Filmed on location from one of the old abandoned factories in the Industrial Park, "Jackie Chan's Super Ethical Humbling Climax" is one of SBC's highest rated and most well-liked shows on the air at the moment.

Sponge Sebastian: Hello SBC! And welcome to Jackie Chan's Super Ethical Humbling Climax! Joining me tonight is none other than the man behind all your favorite movies! He is the founder of Clappy Bros. studios, the Clapmaster!

Clappy: Thanks for having me, Seb, and not just because I'm the executive producer! Also, blow your nose.

Sponge Sebastian: Blowing, sir. *blows nose into mic*

Clappy: Now how's about we see how the game is played!

A montage of God, himself, going through the show's trials is shown on the screen as visual aid for the viewing audience.

Sponge Sebastian: Fight your way through Section 13 for fun, profit and overcoming your demons!

Jackie Chan is seen kicking the asses of many bots dressed as Bruce Lees and spies next door, as well as one dressed as a familiar orange cat.

Clappy: Now with every personal shame, indignity and NathanJr killed, your prize money goes up!

Jackie is seen killing a bot dressed as a panda, which serves to lower his overall score.

Sponge Sebastian: But look out! Nobody likes it when you kick Momo's ass!

Clappy: Unless your name is OMJ.

Sponge Sebastian & Clappy: UNETHICAL!

A door at the end of the course opens for Jackie to run into.

Clappy: Once the door to Section 13's vault opens up, then you're free to go!

Sponge Sebastian: But if you think it's THAT easy

The course's firewall obstacle ignites as Jackie runs by it. He isn't affected by it, of course, but the everybody else won't be as lucky.

Sponge Sebastian: well then you've never been humbled before!

Clappy: *Uncle voice* One more thing! 

Jackie is seen grabbing and using a hidden dragon talisman to blast away the competition. He then grabs the horse talisman, which heals his hypothetical wounds.

Clappy: Any talismans collected along the way will give you a special power-up to power through the course with! 

Jackie is seen grabbing the tiger talisman, which splits him into his good and evil halves, prompting them to fight right there on the spot. It goes to show that the only thing capable of putting up a fight against Jackie, is another Jackie.

Clappy: Just make sure you know what each one can do, or else you're fucked!

Sponge Sebastian: Good luck!

Sponge Sebastian & Clappy: It's Sharing Time! Shame Time!

The show's feed is suddenly interrupted.

Sponge Sebastian: We interrupt this program to bring you an SBC News breaking report.

Patty is shown behind the nose, sorting her papers before facing towards the camera.

Patty: Imposter SOF; casual poster, loyal customer...impostor? Only one of those words can apply to the Eustace Bagge-obsessed madman from SBC's dark past. Tonight, Imposter SOF shall be the first of what could very well be many that faces termination, a forum cleansing process innovated by Wumbology and brought all the way through the consultation board by our community director, himself, that's designed to quote-unquote "minimize the amount of unnecessary and somewhat spammy members." This new procedure comes almost eight years to the day Imposter SOF first began his mallet massacre all the way back in 2011. But with the political rigmarole all out of the way, let us take a closer look at the...whoever or whatever it is behind Imposter SOF.

The screen switches to a still shot of Imposter SOF in diapers, left in a trash can. It was followed by a shot of Imposter SOF laying down on Clappy's lappy, which was then followed up by an unflattering shot of Jelly.

Patty: Abandoned as a pup, he was found by Clapmaster, who helped preside over the SpongeBob Community as an admin with the one person everybody liked to ship him with at the time, Jellyfish Jammer!

The screen cycles through mugshots of Metal Snake, Sabre, Ex, Spongebobiscool, Dragin, Teenj, the Sea Minors, Face, Spongebobs1fan, and Whale Blubber.

Patty: But shifty stuff happened in SBC, and it was up to Imposter SOF to save his new home! At least, that's what his reviewer would like to believe.

Spliced together footage of Patty's convo with Steel is shown.

Steel:  I honestly think that for all the bad Imposter SOF did in his prime, he also very much managed to do the community a few solids throughout his reign. I mean, he did put a stop to Teenj's mass execution of guests, crippled the Dragin Syndicate by taking down some of their most lucrative illegal operations, and he even brought Spongebobiscool and Sbs1fan's criminal activities to a screeching halt, after all. 

Steel: I think a part of me is genuinely saddened, pained even, to see Imposter SOF be terminated from the community in such a barbaric manner. Perhaps...perhaps things could've turned out differently had we actually warmed up to him more.

Steel: Perhaps the Imposter SOF that you know is already dead, which makes this act of termination all the more unnecessary.

Patty: But as always with one side of the coin, there is always the other.

Spliced footage of Patty's convo with SOF is then shown.

SOF: We're connected me and him, in ways you and your viewers won't even begin to comprehend. 

SOF: He wants you to feel for him, to get a rise out of you, so that the banging will be even sweeter in the end.

Patty: Truly a decisive split, indeed. Our SBC News correspondent, Cha, is currently reporting live from the correctional facility in which the very first termination shall take place. Cha, how's the scene like from where you're standing?

Cha: Patty, I'm currently standing by outside the correctional facility, because the head reviewer doesn't want us to broadcast a live execution to the general public. But from the looks of the weather outside, Patty, I can tell you that it is dark and gloomy, about as dark and gloomy as the mood probably is on the inside. We-

A commotion is heard happening off camera.

Cha: Oh my, it appears that a commotion is happening off to the side of me. It seems as though somebody is looking to gain entrance into the facility, but the guards are rightfully giving them a hard time. This unknown person could be facing hard time if he chooses to proceed with what he is doing. Wait, it has come to my attention that this unknown person in question is none other than SpongeOddFan!

SOF: You have to let me in! He'll only be allowed to die at my hand!

The guards are left with no choice but to use force in order to ensure that SOF doesn't breach the facility. SOF receives a notification all of a sudden, telling him that somebody is now following him A squad proceeds to escort him away from the premises when one of the security vehicles is suddenly launched at the gates.

Cha: Oh my god! Not only does it appear that SOF wants to make his way inside, but someone else as well! Someone capable of flinging a fucking roblox car like it's fucking nothing!

Patty: Get out of there, Cha! 

Cha and her camera man make a run for it, but her feed suddenly cuts to static.

Patty: Cha? Cha?! CHAAAA?!

The squad escorting SOF away break their formation, distracted by the ruckus. All except for one leave SOF behind to help with the situation, but SOF easily dispatches the one guard left behind with an RKO out of nowhere. SOF makes his approach to the facility once more.

Inside, Steel is conducting his final review of Imposter SOF, but as he comes to expect, the impostor still isn't even responding.

Steel: Please, Imposter SOF, give me something to go off of here. If you don't, then your termination will become final and I will no longer be able to protect you from what happens next!

Another member, a reviewer, walks into the examination room they're in.

Steel: Just what in Neptune's name are you doing here, Halibut?

Sweat: The name's Sweat now, as in the sweat I also helped put into this facility with my hard work and reviews alongside yours.

Steel: What are you doing here? You know full well that the rights to Imposter SOF belong to me.

Sweat: I'm afraid the higher ups have to seen to it that your rights be revoked as of this very moment.

Steel: What? This is an outrage!

Sweat: Look, I don't take any pleasure in this anymore than you are. I'm just doing my job here, Steel, and they feel that for Imposter SOF's final review, a neutral party should be brought in.

Steel: And I'm guessing that you are that neutral party?

Sweat: Yes, I am.

Steel: But you give out bad reviews to everyone!

Sweat: They're not bad, Steel, they are just the brutal, honest truth. Unlike your reviews which hands out false hope. The higher ups also added that I conduct a review on you, my friend. They feel you may be ill equipped to carry on with this position any longer. And in my brutally honest opinion, Steel, I'm inclined to agree with them on this one.

Steel: Halibut, please, don't take this away from me. Alongside my spinoffs, this line of work is all I have left for me around here.

Sweat: I'm sorry, Steel. I really, truly am, but I'm not in the business of dealing out false hope. Judging by your continued delusions regarding this impostor, I hereby deem you unfit to conduct anymore reviews and therefore, you are advised to vacate your position in this reviewing facility within the next two weeks or else you'll find yourself facing much harsher punishment that is to be decided by the staff themselves, should it come to it. Guards, please escort Steel to his office so that he may retrieve his belongings.

Steel: You're making a grave mistake, Hal. Damning this impostor will damn us all!

Steel is pushed out of the examination room.

Sweat: Imposter SOF, by the rights newly bestowed onto me, as your new reviewer, I hereby deem you to be inactive and, therefore, eligible for immediate termination. I hope you make your peace with whatever you have left in this world, because these are your final hours in it.

Imposter SOF just remains seated, motionless and without a word to say.

Sweat: Silence, is it? At least you're choosing to go out with some slim shred of dignity. Guards, please escort Imposter SOF to the termination chamber. Lets just get this out of the way now and finally be done with it.

The guards clip steel rods to the corresponding clips on Imposter SOF's straitjacket as a way to escort him from a safe enough distance. They pull him up from his chair and out of the room, making their way to the recently installed termination chamber.

Back outside, SOF catches a glimpse of the intruder. It was big fella, wearing a long dark brown leather trench coat and matching fedora. It trots through the facility's defenses like they're made of paper. It has someone slung over its shoulder.

SOF: Oh no, Cha!

The intruder breaks through the front entrance in a tremendous show of strength. SOF grabs any weapon and ammo he can from the fallen guards before following suit. As the intruder makes its way deeper into the prison, it comes across more and more waves of guards who are hesitant to fight back since Cha is still hanging unconscious over its shoulder. The intruder nonchalantly walks up to the guards to little resistance and bashes the ones it could get his hands on into mush. SOF comes across the carnage the intruder leaves in its wake, leaving him to think that he could be dealing with something even worse than Imposter SOF, who he can only surmise is the intruder's intended target.

The intruder marches its large frame down the narrow halls. The shots that the guards do manage to connect on it all seem to have no affect, more or less bouncing right off of it, even headshots. The intruder breaks through solid concrete walls and prison cells on its way over to the termination chamber, causing even more chaos with the inadvertent release of the other prisoners. 

It eventually smashes its way into Metal Snake's cell, who is taken by complete surprise. For the first time, the intruder takes specific note of someone else in the facility, grabbing Metal Snake by the neck and raising him against the wall. It gives Metal Snake a once over before throwing him onto the ground. Metal Snake receives a notification from the intruder, telling him that it is now following him. The intruder leaves him be, for now. Metal turns to see that the door is now wide open for him to escape from his imprisonment. A smirk curls up on his as he contemplates his next move.

The intruder breaks its ways into the examination room next, somehow sensing that Imposter SOF was just here. Cha begins coming to, screaming as she realizes the situation she's currently in. She pounds on the intruder's shoulders to get him to loosen his grip, but to no avail. She then pulls out a wakizashi from the back of her belt and drives it into the intruder's spine. For the first time, the intruder seems affected by something as it reels backwards, trying to take the sword out of his back.

A flash bang is thrown at the intruder's feet, causing Cha to flee as it goes off right from beneath it, disorienting it even further. Some more guards arrive with assault rifles and shotguns in hand.

Guard: Light it up!

They proceed to fill the intruder up with lead in a desperate effort to take it down for good. They empty out all their ammo, but the intruder is still somehow on its feet. The guards rush to reload their weapons, but the intruder yanks Cha's sword out of its back and twirls it at them with great strength, slicing through all the guards like butter before they had the chance to fire back.

Cha manages to somersault over the sword. It crashes onto the ground a few feet behind her. The intruder makes his approach, prompting Cha to charge at 'em and knee them right on the bridge of the nose. The intruder takes a step back in a daze before moving forward once again. Cha backs up to her sword and retrieves it only to receive a powerful boot to the face by the intruder. The intruder drives their fist in her midsection and grabs her up by her ribcage. Cha impales the intruder in the skull, but not even this will shake them off this time. They proceed to mark Cha's ribs as she receives a notification that they are now following her.

Suddenly, SOF runs in and nails another huge RKO on the intruder from out of nowhere, saving Cha. The RKO drives the sword deeper into the intruder's skull, causing the blade to protrude out from the back of their skull. SOF goes to check on Cha as the intruder gets back up on wobbly legs. SOF turns around right into stiff right hand that knocks him out. The intruder stomps over them as they continue making their way to Imposter SOF's location.

In the termination chamber, Sweat is overseeing the terminating process as guards walk SOF over to the electric chair. They carefully free him from his straitjacket before forcing him onto the seat and strapping him in tight. One of the guard grabs the sponge and contemplates not soaking it in the water.

Sweat: Don't you dare think about it. We're doing this by the book, as humanely as humanly possible! Or do I have to relieve you of your duties, as well?

Guard: No, sir! I'm soaking the sponge now!

The guard submerges the yellow sponge in the bucket of water and places it on Imposter SOF's head.

Sweat: Imposter SOF, you've been condemned to termination by a jury of your peers. A sentence imposed by a judge of good standing in this community. Do, you have anything to say before the sentence is carried out?

Imposter SOF: ...

They lower the electrode cap necessary to induce the shock over it. They wrap up Imposter SOF's eyes in gauze to prevent a bigger mess from happening.

Sweat: Imposter SOF, electricity shall now be passed through your body until you are terminated in accordance with community guidelines. May Thanos have mercy on your soul.

Sweat waits until the clock strikes midnight to give the order for the kill switch.

Sweat: Roll on two.

Suddenly, the power in the entire prison goes out right as the switch is flipped.

Sweat: What the fuck's going on? Somebody get the power back on immediately!

A couple of the guards to to do just that. When they reach the door, somebody can be heard knocking furiously on it from the other side. The guards brandish their weapons when the heavy steel door suddenly comes down on them, crushing them underneath. The intruder stomps all over the fallen door, smashing them even more as pools of blood seep out beneath it. The rest of the guards open fire, but they only meet similar fates. Sweat catches a glimpse of the intruder in the darkness, seeming to recognize them.

Sweat: ...Dug be damned. It's SpongeBob's #1 Fan!

Sweat assumes he's here for Imposter SOF, so he's willing to throw himself into the thick of things in order to prevent a possible escape. Sweat throws some punches that clocks SpongeBob's #1 Fan in the face, but they do very little to no damage. Sweat throws a rolling elbow, but his arm gets caught and he's driven into the floor with a thunderous judo throw. SpongeBob's #1 Fan stomps his boot onto Sweat's neck, slowly choking him out in order to take him out of the equation. SpongeBob's #1 Fan turns around to see the impostor still bound helplessly in the electric chair.

SpongeBob's #1 Fan approaches Imposter SOF, carefully examining him. He then proceeds to brand the impostor with the same following seal he placed on Cha and Metal Snake before grabbing Imposter SOF by the neck and forcefully ripping him out of his bonds, choking him. SpongeBob's #1 Fan makes his exit with Imposter SOF in hand, but he quickly gets his arm chopped off right as he leaves the room. Cha slashes him a bit, giving SOF an opening to bring the behemoth down with a reverse neck breaker. Imposter SOF spears Cha to the floor and bangs her face with his bare hands until she ceases to move. 

Imposter SOF grabs her SBC News media badge, now aware of where he must go next. Sweat crawls over and grabs his arm.

Sweat: Not if I have anything to say about it-

Imposter SOF:

SOF levels SpongeBob's #1 Fan with a punt to the skull before catching sight of Imposter SOF making a run for it down the prison corridors. SOF gives chase, but not before seeing what he did to Cha. He considers stopping to render her aid, but decides that stopping Imposter SOF from escaping back into the community is more important.

SOF is hot on his impostor's trail, but he can't see himself closing the gap between before exiting the building, so he decides to pull out his gun and plants a bullet in the back of Imposter SOF's right thigh. The impostor crashes to the ground. SOF uses this opportunity to unload his entire clip, but Imposter SOF manages to roll away from all of his shots and trips him up. Imposter SOF bangs SOF's face in with his fists next, but is suddenly interrupted by SpongeBob's #1 Fan. 

Imposter SOF engages him for the first time, getting some good hits in, but not good enough to take the follower down. SOF comes back in and levels SpongeBob's #1 Fan with a Burning Fist that sends the follower crashing back through a good number of cells.

SOF: Now your turn.

But Imposter SOF blindsides him with a vicious assault, forcing SOF back into one of the empty cells from the force of the blows.

Once SOF has been knocked unconscious, Imposter SOF slams the cell door shut and locks him inside. He sees SpongeBob's #1 Fan stirring back up to his feet, a telling sign for him to make his escape while he still can.

However, outside the facility, SBC advanced tactical security force, Task Force 51, finally arrives to provide some much needed assistance. The leader of the task force exits one of their roblox tanks.

Hawkbit: Looks like we have ourselves a bit of a tense situation. *loads up his Ace of Spades sawed-off* Let's see if we can calm things down a bit.

TBC

[Old Man Jenkins]

Episode : An Out of Nowhere Victory! Imposter SOF takes Task Force 51 to Task!!

Our episode opens up to Imposter SOF running through the corridors of the reviewing facility, when he suddenly crosses paths with

Steel: Imposter SOF?! You managed to get out??!! I should've known they wouldn't be able to contain you.

Steel exclaims as right as he was clearing his things out of his office. The officers who escorting him take immediate action against the imposter, but they find themselves on the receiving end of these hands in the form of banging. Steel watches in complete indifference as Imposter SOF finishes them all off handily.

Steel: For years, they wanted to see you burn at the stake wheres I always never had strong feelings about you. Yes, I am willing to admit that you are weird, but I am more than willing to check out what mor- OOOOOHEUUUWWWGHH!

Imposter SOF sends Steel soaring down the corridor they're in with a huge left hand to face. The force of the blow sends Steel right through a wall. Imposter SOF could hear the commotion that Task Force 51 are making outside, peering out Steel's office window to take a peek at what he's dealing with here. A sniper takes a shot at him, barely grazing the imposter's head. Imposter SOF retreats back to the halls, planning out his next move.

The real SOF wakes up in a prison cell, dazed and confused from his encounter with his imposter. He frantically tries to free himself, but the cell door won't budge.

SOF Help! Let me out of here!

A rustle in the darkness startles SOF, he calls out to it only to be greeted by the unwelcome sight of SpongeBob's #1 Fan slowly marching his way towards him. SOF hops back from the bars and pulls out his roblox Beretta M9. He proceeds to unload the entire clip on SpongeBob's #1 Fan's head and chest area, but none of the bullets leaves so much as a scratch.

SpongeBob's #1 Fan grabs the bars and bends them in opposite directions, breaking them apart in order to let himself inside.  SOF goes for another Burning Fist, but the follower catches in his hand and twists SOF's arm, wrenching it behind his back. The follower shoves SOF face first into the cell wall and proceeds to push buttons, specifically the like button.

SOF: N-No...No! Why are you liking this?! Stop! Please, stop! Stop!

SOF is soon overloaded with notifications full of more undeserved likes than he can handle.

SOF: STOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPP!

Outside, Hawkbit and his men lock and load, ready to storm the facility.

Hawkbit: Make sure you all have plenty of ammo going in. Plenty of problem members in there itching to get a rise out of you, so get a rise out of them first. Might I suggest...

Hawkbit pulls a bullet out and shows it off for his men to see.

Hawkbit: the no point.

He loads it in his magazine.

Hawkbit: as in there's "no point" trying to fight us because we'll shut that shit down faster than ssj can moronically blurt out that you touch yourself at night! That inept, psuedo-diplomatic bullshit gets zero results, but a bullet right where it hurts can go a very long way.

Before Hawk and his men could penetrate the building, a voice calls out.

???: DON'T SHOOT!

Steel slowly makes his way out with his hands up.

Steel: Please, I come in apathy.

The further Steel steps his way out, the more it becomes apparent that somebody is using him as a shield.

Hawkbit: WEAPONS READY!

The task force all take aim at Steel and his captor.  Imposter SOF peers out over Steel's shoulder.

Hawkbit: Oh my god...

JD: What is it, sir?

Hawkbit: The imposter is active. I repeat, the imposter is active!

One of Hawkbit's men gets a head shot in on Imposter SOF from a couple hundred yards away.

Felix: BOOM, BABY!

Hawkbit drops scared act, revealing that he wasn't afraid of any potential threat that Imposter SOF may have posed all along. The entirety of Task Force 51 begin to roll on the floor, laughing at Imposter SOF's expense. A stunned Steel looks down on the imposter with perhaps a hint of remorse, but that quickly turns right back into a lack of enthusiasm.

Steel is suddenly body slammed right on top of Hawkbit as he was in the middle of rolling on the ground. Hawkbit winces from the impact as he looks up to see Imposter SOF completely unscathed.

Hawkbit: Th-That's not possible! Our ammo is full-proof, it's-

Imposter SOF proceeds to bang both Hawkbit and Steel with his fists at the same time, prompting the rest of the task force to open fire.

JD: Switch to ego piercing! No way he'll be left standing after that!

The task force rain down ego piercing ammo onto the imposter, bringing Imposter SOF down in a hailstorm of bullets. Hawkbit pushes Steel off of him and busts out his custom shotgun from Ace of Spades. He walks over and points it right at Imposter SOF's head.

Hawkbit: When I get my sawed-off, white supremacists get hauled off!

Hawkbit blasts Imposter SOF right in the face with the full brunt of his shell. The imposter lays there motionless. Hawkbit turns to to his men in order to give out the next order, but he's jumped from behind. Imposter SOF wraps his arm around Hawkbit's neck and grabs the back of the task force commander's head with his other hand. The task force rush their weapons back up, shocked to see that Imposter SOF survived all that they had to hit him with.

Hawkbit: Don't shoot! Don't-

Hawkbit reaches back and grabs Imposter SOF by the head and arm. He proceeds to judo throw Imposter SOF off of him, breaking the imposter's hold over his life. Imposter SOF rolls through and makes a run for it, powering his way through gunfire and pushing back the 51ers who stood in the way of his freedom. Some of Hawkbit's men come in with riot shields, which Imposter SOF uses to his advantage, vaulting over them with cat-like agility. Imposter SOF lands on top of one of their tanks and rips the turret clean off with his bare hands. Using the turret as a makeshift mallet, Imposter SOF proceeds to bang waves of Hawkbit's men with it.

Imposter SOF knocks some of the other tanks away, using his turret like a baseball bat. An attack helicopter comes in to provide aerial support, Imposter SOF easily swats that down too. Felix manages to get another long ranged shot in before Imposter SOF responds by chucking the entire turret right at where he's posted at.

Felix: Oh shit!

Felix frantically tries to pack up his weapon and retreat, but the turret crashes right into him, exploding upon impact. A grenade lands right at the imposter's feet, forcing him to dodge roll as fast and as far away as he can. The detonation still manages to knock him a good couple feet away. As Imposter SOF tries to regain his bearings, a blunt object clocks him in the face. Hawkbit emerges from the smoke, having hit Imposter SOF with the butt of his shotty. Hawkbit swings the butt of his shotty at Imposter SOF again, this time like a baseball bat, knocking the imposter fully back onto the ground.

Hawkbit pulls out his machete and slashes away at the imposter without remorse. He swings four times, with Imposter SOF managing to dodge the last two, but it allows Hawkbit to land a stiff kick to his chest. Imposter SOF is grounded once again belly-first, giving Hawkbit the opening to slash at his back. Hawkbit grabs and pulls Imposter SOF up by the hair, bringing the machete across his throat, just barely making contact with it.

Hawkbit: You could've made this easier on yourself. Now, you've only made it easier for me.

Before Hawkbit could fully slit his throat, Imposter SOF whips his head back, butting Hawkbit right on the nose. The jolt causes Hawkbit to lose his grip as he grabs his face. Blood trickles down on his hand as he lowers it down to look at the damage. Imposter SOF then nails Hawkbit with an RKO out of nowhere before he could properly react.

With Hawkbit laid out on the ground, Imposter SOF proceeds to jack one of the nearby security roblox vehicles and struggles to get it to run properly. Suddenly, the door of his vehicle is ripped off as SpongeBob's #1 Fan returns to following him. SpongeBob's #1 Fan finally breaks his silence by asking

SpongeBob's #1 Fan: Why are you running away?!

Imposter SOF doesn't reply.

SpongeBob's #1 Fan: I just want to know!

He yanks Imposter SOF out of the vehicle and throws him back where he laid Hawkbit out. SpongeBob's #1 Fan makes his approach as Imposter SOF grabs a grenade off of Hawkbit. SpongeBob's #1 Fan grabs the imposter by the neck and proceeds to strangle him with both hands. Before he could fill the imposter with unwelcome likes, Imposter SOF blasts the follower point blank under the chin with Hawkbit's shotgun. It rocks the follower enough to make him lose his grip. Imposter SOF then shoots out both his ankles, bringing the follower to his knees. Finally having his pursuer in a vulnerable position, Imposter SOF pulls the pin out of the hand grenade and activates the lever, shoving the explosive down SpongeBob #1 Fan's mouth whole. Imposter SOF connects one more stiff punch to SpongeBob's #1 Fan's throat for good measure and kicks him onto his back. SpongeBob's #1 Fan desperately tries to get his last few likes in before the grenade goes off his mouth, taking his clean off in pieces. The follower's body finally goes limp, leaving Imposter SOF to once again focus on his getaway.

 He finally gets the roblox car going, at least at a snails pace, and takes off into the dead of night. Steel peeks out from behind one of the tanks and assesses the carnage.

Steel: The imposter seemingly hasn't missed a single beat, even after almost an entire decade of inactivity. Yes, I think waiting and seeing how this goes is proving to be the most viable and fruitful option, at least as of right now. You'll find that the SpongeBob Community is a much different place than how you left it all the way back in 2011. I do hope that this...scuffle has prepared you for the dangers that await, because I can assure you that they won't be Elastic.

Imposter SOF slowly speeds his way towards the bright lights of the main homepage of the SpongeBob Community. He could just sense that he was drawing closer to me mallet. Suddenly, his roblox vehicle hits something, or rather, something hits his roblox vehicle, causing it to to flip a couple times over.

Imposter SOF crawls out of the wreckage not entirely unscathed, but not too heavily damaged neither.  He looks around to see that he is completely surrounded. Bulging, lifeless eyes can be seen piercing through the darkness, each giving the imposter a dead, thousand yard stare. Upon closer inspection, Imposter SOF recognized these eyes as belonging to all your favorite classic cartoons from the 90s all brought together in new situations. Like this one.