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We all know the character of Deadpool, right? The wisecracking, fourth wall-destroying, chimichanga eating-

"Moooooove over, Renny-boy! I can take things over from here!" (enter a young Japanese man, about 17 years old or so, wearing a red T-shirt, black pants and combat boots, and black motorcycle gloves. He appears to have mild scarring on his face, though it's barely visible.)

Who the bloody fuckballs are you?! And what are you doing in my topic intro?!

"Who am I? Well, that's a very interesting story, isn't it? YOINK!" (The teenager takes the script from Renegade's hands.)

HEY! THAT'S MY SCRIPT!

"Well, not anymore! Now sit down, shut the fuck up, and get ready to hear the origins of the single most badass, sexy, and funniest tokusatsu hero ever - ME, DEADPOOL!

AHEM!

'We all know the story of Deadpool, right? The wisecracking, fourth wall-destroying chimichanga eating Merc With a Mouth, otherwise known as Wade Winston Wilson?

Weeeeeell, this is not him. At least, not entirely him. In a similar vein to Toei's Spider-Man, this Deadpool is Takeshi Tachibana, a psychotic ("And proud!") Japanese delinquent who would rather spend his days watching DVDs of Showa-era ("Best era! Heisei can suck it!") Kamen Rider and Super Sentai ("Don't forget Power Rangers! Though Turbo, Megaforce, and Overdrive are inferior compared to their Sentai counterparts. Just saying.") and beating people up ("Only the people who deserve it! That's important!") rather than doing anything productive for society. Captured by a mysterious organization known as the X-Army, Takeshi is experimented on and injected with a serum known as Mutagene, giving him immortality thanks to an extreme healing factor. Now completely insane ("We're all insane! We're just in denial about it!") and fully aware of what sort of the story he's in, Takeshi becomes the ("Not really.") superhero Deadpool in order to take on the X-Army and its legions of monsters led by the evil Silver Samurai indulge in his tokusatsu fantasies, and maybe save Japan in the process in this loving parody of old school toku filled with blood, guts, explosions, swearing, and chmichangas! So grab your samurai sword, guns, and maybe some snacks, and prepare for one wild ride!'"

(Takeshi gets up, tosses the script at Renegade, and starts walking away.)

Hey, where are you going?

"To grab my swords, guns, and snacks. What else?"

A-anyways, this is Deadpool! Coming soon to SBC!

  • God Himself 1

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