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The Life of Dave


BenPaz

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Narrator: This isn’t a meme show (well actually it kinda is). It is the story about a cave with no birth name but has liked going by the name Dave. Now let’s go back to the past.

...700 years ago...

King Neptune: I’m really fucking bored im gonna go make a cave. But he’s fucking magic. He shall be small… yet grow to be huge. He will someday become an important figure of history. But for now,

He shall be known as a lowly rock.

Episode 1: The Time Shall Pass

*650 years later*

A view of Jellyfish fields is seen. It has very lush grass and a sunrise is seen. A cave is on the right of the image.

Dave: Yo, are you up? (speaking to a ghost pirate)

Ghost Pirate: What the fuck do you want it’s like 6 in the morning.

Dave: Well I was just having a nice glass of oxygen in the atmosphere but something banged at my entrance. Can you go see who it was.

Ghostly Pirate: Ok fine I’ll go over there.

An anchovy appears at Dave’s entrance. He is wearing what looks to be Atlantean armor.

Anchovy: PLEASE LET ME IN PLEASE

Dave: Don’t let him in, he’s probably a telemarketer.

Anchovy: PLEASE I’M ON THE RUN

Ghost Pirate (skeptical): And I’m supposed to believe you?

Anchovy: I have some treasure.

Ghost Pirate: I’m letting him i-

Dave (interjecting): Don’t!

Ghost Pirate: Come in!

Anchovy: Is everyone gone?

Ghost Pirate: Yeah, pretty sure.

Anchovy: Please introduce yourselves.

Dave: My name’s Dave and that ghost pirate over there, his name is Calvin.

Calvin: At least I was given a name at birth

Anchovy: My name is Pontifex. I am an Atlantean rebel who disagreed with the current administration.

Calvin: Are you gonna do some like backstory dump or some shit.

Pontifex: Unfortunately yes. I had wanted to make Atlantis a more prosperous country but LRH wanted to make that place all about science and the arts. Not even any kind of prosperity. In return me along with a few others decided to create a continent that ran off of stolen gold from Atlantis’ reserve.

Dave: That’s kind of a flawed idea for a country you know. Having no money and only focusing on science and the arts.

Pontifex: To get money, I stole the Atlantean Amulet from them and split it in half. I sold one half of it to a seller who seems to have an interest in artifacts of unknown places. The other half however. I have right here.

(Half of the Atlantean Amulet is shown)

Narrator: If you don’t know what this is how are you on a SpongeBob site.

Pontifex: Keep this thing safe. Until someone worthy comes in to take it. Someone who fully believes the philosophies of the Mu Continent

Calvin: I expect there’s like a band of Atlantean soldiers out there

Pontifex: Yeah I’m gonna go kick their asses.

(A sound of a large brawl is heard outside)

Dave: Well that guy was weird. I wonder if we’ll see him again. Go put that amulet in a safe place Calvin. Where no one can find it.

(Calvin brings the amulet deep in the cave so no one can find it.)

Dave: What the fuck even are the “Philosophies of the Mu Continent”

Calvin: I don’t know I assume it just means never let anyone get it.

 

Episode 1 Ends

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