jcm's riffing theater (3050 colorized)

[JCM]

[SOF: 4 down…2 to go. Oh boy.]

[JCM: Feels like just yesterday I was riffing episode 4.

Probably because it was just yesterday! Oops!]

[Fred: Well, since we're ending the riffs very early, let me take the time to say THANK GOD. Riffing this was worse than riffing a thousand Down Under episodes. I think I would rather un-ban Zaid, get him to make a really unintentionally bad lit based off of, I dunno, Friends, and then ban him again so that we can riff on that instead of this god-forsaken headache of a lit. I would rather have my balls chopped off by an insane butcher than read another sentence of this lit. I would rather be flattened by a semi driven by The Incredible Hulk than riff this. I would...]

Episode 5: Celes is Sneaky

[SOF: Nah, she ain’t.]

Welcome back, folks! It’s finally time for the epic finale, to see who will be the last one standing on Total! SOF! Island!

[SOF: I feel like these last 2 episodes will end way too quickly.]

[Fred: Well, this may be a finale, but it's not Total SOF Island and it's not "epic". In fact, I would rather read a Total SOF Island than...]

Speaking of which, where is SOF?

[SOF: I’m right here, you dummy.]

[Fred: He's hiding from this literature because it sucks.]

[JCM: Can I join?]

“KJ party mansion” he answered. “I’m underneath the stage curtain, but they’ll never find me!”

[SOF: …oh goody, more rehashing from ATTWL 3.]

[JCM: I miss the ATTWL 3 riffs. Those were simpler times.]

“You just told me where you were!” a Korean soldier yelled as he pulled back the stage curtain and pointed his machine gun at SOF. SOF froze before he realized he had thought of an idea in his thoughts.

[Fred: Okay, for a guy who blows a gasket every time he comes across an error in Eddsworld Meets SpongeBob, he sure has taken some notes from it. Where am I going with this? Look at that last sentence.

 

"SOF froze before he realized he had thought of an idea in his thoughts."

 

I hate doing this, but let me borrow a quote from the Irate Gamer Sucks blog because it really applies here as well. "Using a noun twice in the same sentence is very poor and shows a lack of effort." You could have just said that "he thought of an idea" or "he had an idea". Adding "in your thoughts" just ruined that sentence and made it very redundant, and that is a poor mistake in writing this. Then again, you probably put more effort into your riffs than you did into this lit. Notice how I didn't call the Redundancy Department of Redundancy on him this time? I thought that since he goes all Nostalgia Critic on most spin-offs and lits, I should do the same with his. Karmic justice saves the day!]

[SOF: A really stupid idea from CC!SOF if you ask me.]

[JCM: I don't know why I got the idea in my thoughts to riff this garbage.]

“Look!” he yelled, pointing behind the soldier. “I see Stephen Hillenburg!”

[SOF: Sadly, he isn’t here…*cries*]

[Fred: Don't you dare take the name of Stephen Hillenburg in vain!]

In response, the bemused soldier shot him dead.  

[JCM: Seems like CC!SOF didn't bemuse that soldier quite enough.]

“Idiot…” the soldier said to himself. “Everyone knows that Stephen Hillenburg couldn’t make it to the party today. He’s at Spongebob and Sandy’s wedding.”'

[SOF: Well, RIP SOF.]

[Fred: Whoa, the timing for riffing this is incredibly unfortunate even though it's been 2 months since he died. Still, point to my riff above about taking Stephen's name in vain.]

As the soldier turned around and walked away, however, SOF’s soul emerged from his corpse. Fusing with his dead body, he became a unicorn Yo-Kai that looked like Rarity.

[JCM: why]

[SOF: Okay, can I just say that it’s NOT what I wanted because I NEVER EVEN WATCHED FUCKING Yo Kai Watch BEFORE!]

“thx for the reminder” he replied to the soldier, who looked back at SOF in shock. “i can’t miss latest premiere of truth or square done right”

[Fred: Also, thanks for the reminder that you like Yo-Kai and MLP, the other chapters completely didn't tell me.]

“The fuck?!” the soldier yelled, as he fired more bullets into SOF, but they didn’t phase him. SOF charged past the soldier, gently pushing him out of the way and causing his gun to fly out of his hands and out a nearby window. Watching SOF flee the party mansion, the soldier just stared in disbelief.

“I can’t believe it…” he said to himself. “That is one fast Canadian. He should try out for the Olympics.”

[JCM: "...but the Winter Olympics, since those are the only ones Canadians are good at."]

“quite fitting how we’re in Soth Korea olympic era” SOF winked to the audience.

[SOF: Nice copy/paste of my comment to your fic, Mental Snake.]

“Yeah, pretty crazy coincidence…” the soldier winked to the audience ominously.

[Fred: Okay, why is everybody winking like they're at the end of a sitcom episode? Are you telling me that this was a sitcom all along? Well, I didn't know!  *laugh track, applause, roll credits*]

[Announcer: "I Didn't Know" was filmed in front of a live ostrich. An ostrich who is desperately trying hard not to be involved with Crazy Celes so I should probably stop talking before he pecks my eyes out.]

[JCM: Before he Golfpecks my eyes out, you mean! *Audience boos* I'll see my way out.]

Meanwhile, Adrian and Felix had entered the geographically misplaced animation studio to investigate. There were no guards around, as if part of Crazy Celes’ intent. There were, however, many storyboard artists in the building drawing cartoon characters on computers, cartoon characters that looked familiar to the two…

“Is that Sandy Cheeks from Spongebob?” Felix asked himself.

[Fred: No, that's Sandy Cheeks from Texas.]

[SOF: Nah, it’s Sandy Squirrel.]

[JCM: Nah, it's Sandy Olsson...from Grease. *Audience boos again* Alright, alright, I get it!]

“Is that Sonic the Hedgehog?” Adrian asked herself.

[Fred: No, that's Sonic the Fast Food Restaurant.]

“What is going on here?” Felix continued asking. “If this studio really is like the studio that animates Spongebob, Sandy would obviously make sense, but what is Sonic doing here? If he’s here, where are Sega’s lawyers?”

[SOF: Maybe they just wanted to deal with the studio suing them.]

[JCM: SEGA's lawyers obviously have time to go after everyone who draws their characters, which is why you never see Sonic fanart on the internet.]

“Honestly, I doubt this studio is just an imitation of the one that works on Spongebob.” Adrian suggested. “I can guarantee you, Celes would be fighting Viacom’s attorneys as we speak, they’d be here long before Sega...”

“Indeed, you are correct, young lady…” a familiar voice came from one of the storyboard artists who looked like Stephen Hillenburg from the back. “There is an evil going on in this studio even greater than Viacom, believe it or not…”

[JCM: An evil even greater than Viacom? I don't believe it.]

[SOF: I’m just gonna call it and say: it’s Crazy Celes behind this, obviously.]

“...” Felix clutched a vial of poison in his pocket in preparation for self-defense.

[JCM: That's a normal thing to carry around with you.]

“What evil would that be?” Adrian asked. “Are you the real crew that works on Spongebob (not that I would know, I don’t keep up with the show)?”

[Fred: No, this is the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob references.]

[SOF: I’m gonna assume MS hasn’t watched SB in a while, so it kind of makes sense if you ask me.]

“We used to be, but now, we’ve been forced to work on a different show...” the Stephen Hillenburg lookalike explained. “...Squirrel and Hedgehog…”

[JCM: I wonder what species the main characters of that show are.]

[SOF: Hmm, I think it’s kind of NK-style animation that made this? The hell am I reading atm]

“The North Korean war propaganda cartoon?” Felix responded as he approached the storyboard artist from the left and Adrian approached the artist from the right, neither still being able to see their face.

 

“It’s not about war anymore, as you can see…” the artist continued explaining as he showed them what was on the screen, a scene of Sandy and Spongebob as the bride and groom at a wedding. Sonic the Hedgehog was the wedding pastor and More Spongebob x Sandy was the best man. “Soon, it’s only going to be about shipping wars…”

[SOF: Of course not, it’s just dumb how people wanted to ship it due to ToS since it was just a “play”.]

[JCM: To be fair, the commercials for the episode made it seem like much more than a play. Expecting Spandy shippers to be reasonable is also expecting too much of them.]

“Dun...dun...dun?” Adrian made a sarcastic remark in her confusion. “I don’t get it, what’s the big problem?”

“I didnt know you were such a Spandy supporter.” the artist joked.

“No, I just don’t care much about Spongebob anymore.” Adrian told the artist bluntly. “It was a part of my childhood that I moved on from.”

[SOF: See, it’s funny how certain users who should be moving on aren't…]

“You don’t care about my show anymore?” the Stephen Hillenburg lookalike asked with interest. “Why, just curious?

[JCM: Bi? Just curious?]

[Joker: Why, so serious?]

I’m willing to take the time to listen to what you have to say and take notes for how we can improve…”

As the artist pulled out a pen, Felix smirked, getting an idea.

“I’ll take notes for you if you want.” Felix volunteered. “I’d love nothing more than to ease a burden from an artist with an illness.”

“Oh, why thank you, young man…” the artist replied sheepishly. “Yes, it’s hard for someone like me to manage so many tasks now that I have Alzheimer’s…”

“It’s ALS.” Felix politely corrected.

“Right!” the artist exclaimed, trying to laugh off the mistake nervously. “Sorry, my Alzheimer’s made me forget that I had ALS!”

[JCM: I'm not upset at your attempts at tasteless humor, just disappointed.]

[SOF: Yeah, we totally didn’t see that coming…]

Adrian gave the artist a suspicious look.

“You’re not really Stephen Hillenburg, are you?” she said, wisening up to the ruse.

“So what if I’m not?” the artist replied in an unnerving tone of voice, still keeping their face hidden. “You’re the one being interviewed…”

“Turn around and face me, you coward!” Adrian demanded as she turned the chair around to reveal that the artist was just Crazy Celes disguised as Stephen Hillenburg.

[Fred: Wow, I was totally surprised by that twist that I nearly had a heart attack. I totally did not see that coming.]

[SOF: HA! I CALLED IT!]

“RRRRRAAAAAHHHHH!” Celes cried as she instantly pounced on Adrian and held her down to the ground against her will.

[JCM: I've read enough MLP fanfiction to know where this is going.]

“Are you ready for your interview now?”

[JCM: That's...totally what I was thinking.]

“Finally, I have you!” she gloated. “Mwa ha ha ha ha! AH HA HA HA HA...OOOOOHHHH…”'

[SOF: Boy, this Crazy Celes turned herself into a Daffy Duck character.]

All of a sudden, Celes collapsed unconscious on top of Adrian, who immediately shoved her off and got up. Wondering what had caused her to suddenly faint, she examined Celes’ body and realized what happened when she saw the pen Celes had given Felix jammed into the back of her head. She then looked over to Felix, who smiled as he held out the vial of the poison.

[SOF: Well that makes sense now (sort of)]

[JCM: So Celes is dead now? Please tell me Celes is dead now.]

“I laced that pen I used to stab her with powerful neurotoxins.” he explained. “Even with her powers, she won’t be getting up from that for a while.”

[SOF: Thanks for the info, jesus.]

“Though I could’ve escaped myself…” Adrian replied as she flexed her arm muscles, trying to assure her pride. “...I very much appreciate the stress and trouble you saved me.”

Looking around, the two witnessed all of the other storyboard artists vanishing into black puffs of smoke along with their computers, revealing that they were all just part of an illusion.

“So North Korea didn’t kidnap a bunch of artists to work on bringing a shipping fantasy in an American cartoon to life after all.” Felix remarked. “Good to have one less worry, I guess. If they were real, I wouldn’t want them to end up as literal starving artists.”

[JCM: A lot of starving artists in America are literal starving artists, too. At least they're living the dream.]

“We still have plenty of other worries, however.” Adrian reminded him. “The most pressing one right now being that we need to catch up with the others as quickly as we can. With the precious time this shit cost us, I don’t think we’ll be able to scavenge quickly enough on foot.”

“The chopper would probably draw too much attention…” Felix mused. “But in worst case, we are going to have to improvise. It’s not like a better option is going to come crashing through the window.”

[SOF: Be careful what you wish for…]

However, Felix was soon proved wrong, as the machine gun SOF had knocked out of the soldier’s hands earlier had somehow flown all the way over to the studio.

[JCM: Those North Korean winds are no joke.]

It crashed through the window and landed on its butt on the floor, causing it to shoot a bullet through the roof before it fell down on its side. The Bruce siblings stared at the sight with flabbergasted expressions on their faces before Felix said…

“...Bursting through the front door?”

 

With that, a familiar Yo-Kai burst through the entrance to the studio, one that could travel at high speed. Adrian and Felix met the unicorn Yo-Kai…

[SOF: Or better yet, anything else.]

[Fred: Wait, what's with the three dots, is that the end of your sentence or are you setting up a punchline?]

...Elasticorn.

[Fred: 

]

[SOF: wat?]

WHAT A TWEEST! What is SOF doing then? What happened to the SBCers who were captured? Will Kim Jong-un’s sister steal the Olympics? Find out next time on Total! SOF! Island!

[Fred: And frankly, I do not care about what happens next because I am done with this lit. I am done. Even though I could survive 23 episodes of Down Under, I can't even survive 5 episodes of this. It is that bad. It's even the hardest show to riff for me as well because while doing most of the episodes, I was just thinking to myself "What the actual fuck is this?". I know what this is. It's a confusing lit. It's hard to read. It's hard to riff. I am at a loss for words when it comes to this show. Full SBC was easier to read than this. Eddsworld Meets SpongeBob was more entertaining to read than this. All of the worst novelty shows ever created on SBC are probably better than this as well. Hell, this makes all of my shows look like the fucking Bible! And I think I'm a terrible writer too! Just.........fuck this. Riffing this was a mistake. I tried my best not to give up on riffing this, but I did anyway. I just really hope that the next thing we riff is more easier to riff than this because this was a fucking disaster. And now to conclude my thoughts on this, I am going to do what I promised I would do at the very beginning of this show.

 

Ahem...

 

PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE JCM, LET US RIFF FULL SBC AGAIN, THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN PLEEEEEEEEEEASE]

[JCM: I thought this was the finale of Total! SOF! Island! What a bummer. Guess I'll be seeing you all again next week.]

[SOF: No thank you, I don’t wanna see what happens next because the next episode is the finale of Crazy Celes on jcm’s riffing theater.]

[JCM]

[Steel: I was notified that the riffs for this series was going to be cut short, with this being the last that we'll ever have to read, given how uncomfortable of a piece of a literature Crazy Celes is. I get it. Even I have gotten tired of this monkey-fighting Metal Snake and his Monday-through-Friday Lit. Even if we went all the way, we could keep making jabs against the author, acknowledge his loss of sanity, and joke about how this Lit in all of itself is the death of comedy. It will be the same song and dance, kinda like how every episode of this Lit is the same chaotic mess. Let's finish Crazy Celes' ride once and for all.]

[SOF: Alright here we go, this is the last one to riff (which, according to JCM, that it is). Let’s get this over with.]

Episode 6: Not What She Seems

[JCM: ugh they're gender swapping not what he seems now? fcking sjws]

“Lol GF reference” SOF joked at the title.

[Steel: Did you catch my Snakes on a Plane reference earlier? I bet that's even funnier.]

[SOF: *Sighs* Enough of this ok? Like, we get it. You love 4th wall breaking jokes in your fic.]

Well, that’s one question from the end of the last chapter answered. What about the SBCers who were captured then?

[JCM: The answer to "What is SOF doing then?" is "joking at the title"? What a rip-off.]

[Steel: Oh yeah, there was the subplot with some members being held hostage in North Korea, how about that 'cause I was bored and disgusted by the previous three chapters that I've had to skim through to pay attention to that.]

The SBCers were shown to be locked in a cell as Renegade was playing unfitting music, annoying them with tunes from Daniel Johnston’s Yip Jump! Album.

[Grim Reaper: Ey! It's my job to play unfitting music, mon! Stay in your lane!]

“Why do I like this stuff?” Renegade asked them.

[Steel: Because he has a certain taste in music, if that answers his or your question, Luke.]

[SOF: Because you tou- Actually not gonna use the reference. It's a stupid reference anyways.]

“I think that’s the smartest thing you’ve ever asked.” Hayden snarked.

[JCM: Just assume anything coming out of Hayden's mouth is sarcastic and you'll be close to nailing him.]

“What’s going on?” Jjs asked the warden guarding the cell. “I thought you were going to torture us.”

[SOF: yeahh I don’t like where this is going…Ren ruined it]

“This is the torture!” the warden exclaimed giddily. “Ah ha ha ha ha!”

[JCM: This lit is the torture? It all makes so much sense now.]

[SOF: how nice…NOT!]

Check. So what about Kim Jong-un’s sister stealing the Olympics?

[Steel: Don't know. Don't care.]

[SOF: I don’t know why you keep asking us during your narration?]

“She failed miserably!” Crazy Celes yelled, dressed in a sports uniform inside of a stadium, holding the US women’s hockey trophy. “Turns out she’s better at stealing from her own people!”

[Steel: That's one olympic sport that she can at least achieve in.]

[SOF: Good for you, now can we PLEASE actually start the story? This is still boring as hell so far.]

Well, I guess that’s everything off our list.

[JCM: I would have been happier not knowing the answers to those questions.]

[SOF: you know what? Fuck this, hey Mental Snake, you know what happens when you made a unnecessary parody SO/Lit on every worst SO/Lits cliché you inserted? Huh? You know what happens…

 

*clicks pen*

 

YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!]

th-that’s all folks?!” SOF yelled in a Porky Pig voice.

[Steel: *desperately miming the Looney Tunes closing jingle.*] 

[SOF: Not quite yet my friend]

[JCM: Son of bi-bi-

Son of a b-

Son of a...son of a...gun! Ha! You thought I was gonna say this joke is fucking awful, didn't you?]

“No, that is not all folks…” a shadowy figure in a familiar uniform said upon approaching SOF, who, in response, gasped.

[Steel: is he a yokai???]

“You!” he yelled.

[JCM: ]

“A random character I can’t name for the plot’s sake!”

[Steel: Hey, that was my second guess.]

The random character then used their space and time powers to cause a note to float up from a nearby cliff and into SOF’s face.

[Steel: And when he turned it over, he saw a letter.]

“What’s this for?” he asked as he peeled it off his face with his newly found Yo-Kai unicorn magic and looked at it.

 [JCM: He apparently has newly found Yo-Kai unicorn magic. That's cool.]

“To pay for the damage done to the studio!” the random character yelled, pointing to the animation studio that had its window broken from the gun that flew into it.

 [SOF: soo….was this time & space powers he used to get CC!SOF to crash the place?]

“But that wasn’t my fault!” SOF insisted. “It was the gun’s!”

 [JCM: Typical liberal. Blaming guns for society's problems.]

*one tasteless gun control joke (edited out by jjsthekid) later*

[Steel: Thanks jjs, that's one less bad joke in this Lit.]

[SOF: That’s not helping cause this can be a bad joke by itself]

 [JCM: At least Jjs can't edit my jokes anymore, cause I'm in charge now!

*JCM's last riff gets deleted by jjsthekid anyway*

smh]

“Hey,” said Jjs, unhappy with that jab, “don’t act like I’m 4Kidz. I just edit what SOF gives me.”

[Steel: And since that was apparently part of the joke, "thank you" Luke for that small, unwarranted and humorless quip.]

[SOF: more 4th wall jokes yawn]

SOF, in a panic, tried to run. However, he slipped off the cliff and fell.

 [SOF: RIP again?]

[JCM: SOF dies so much they should make a sequel to Edge of Tomorrow about him.]

“nnnnnooooo” he cried. “oh wait, I have a freeze ray in my pocket. plus i’m dead and can teleport”

[Steel: Oh hey, a little throwback from SOF's Exciting Critic's Corner from none other than the person that the author had previously coined as the "Spin-Off Lorax." By the way, after I'm done with all this, I'm going to be referring to MS as the Spin-Off O'Hare. Mental Snake is also already an available option, that I'm aware, so that too.]

SOF then used his magic to teleport back to the crashed plane, only to see a horrifying sight lying before his eyes. The squad of Korean soldiers who had gone to investigate it earlier had all been killed, and were now lying down in a large, gelatinous pool of red goo

[JCM: Is it Jell-O?]

Despite all being armed with guns, they had all been cut to pieces with some kind of blade…

 

“this is awful :(“ SOF remarked. “ms, gun control jokes are not funny”

[Steel: oh hey, yet another self-deprecating joke reminding us that ms is not being funny in general]

Even worse, unbeknownst to SOF, the same creature that had killed the soldiers was now heading towards the cell where the SBCers were being kept…

[JCM: Dun dun dun!]

 [SOF: Well, that’s torture alright.]

“Alright, I feel that’s enough tunes for one day.” Renegade said, turning off his music player and leading the SBCers with him to sigh in relief. “So, anyone up for reading one of my lits?”

 

“AAAGGGHHH!” the SBCers yelled in frustration.

[Steel: I'm just surprised this didn't lead to a joke where Ren begins playing The Shaggs afterwards.]

 [SOF: UGGGGGGGGGGH THIS FIC WON’T FUCKING STOP]

“I’d like to read a lit where I get to tell you to shut up, does that count?” Wumbo snarked.

 [SOF: At least Wumbo’s line is still funny to me, this is gold]

Soon, however, everyone in the cell fell silent as they could hear the sound of screaming mixing with the sound of the slicing of a blade coming from outside. The warden outside shrieked as the severed head of a prison guard was thrown his way, and the SBCers quivered in fear as they saw a monster, a giant, robotic, anthropomorphic praying mantis with two blood-splattered metal blades for hands slice the warden in two from the head down. Blood gushed out of his remains for a short while before becoming a thick, gooey substance on the floor. The mantis then turned to the SBCers and gave them an evil grin.

[JCM: I don't know what that mantis is praying to but I'm praying to God that this episode ends now,]

[Steel: To be fair, I would be horrified too if I ever saw that thing in real life.]

[SOF:….ok What the actual fuck am I reading? Is-is this what it looks like? This is just…pure awful writing]

“You all don’t look too jelly…” the mantis creature said in Spongetron’s voice. “What’s the matter…”

 [SOF: oh wait, it’s just Tron as a Yo-Kai thing…I think?]

The mantis taunted them, sticking its blade through one of the bars, frightening the SBCers even more.

 [SOF: the fact STRP was being edgy was bad idea as this turns out to me, and I can only say this: this is some Fluttershy's Dark Sky levels of bad here?]

“Can you not take the edge?!”

[JCM: ?!???!1!?!!!?!]

[Steel: yes, because it's hurting me and it needs to stop.]

[SOF: unfortunately, I don’t.]

Is this the end of the SBCers?!

[SOF: Correction: is this end of JCM’s riffing career?]

[JCM: Yes, it is.]

“Seems that way.” Terminoob intervened. “According to a leak online, we’re not going to be involved with future arcs in the series.”

[Steel: And according to my source, the very member running this riffing theater, we're not getting ourselves involved in any more episodes of this series, so we have ourselves a win-win.]

[JCM: Sounds like a douchebag.]

[SOF: Funny if you say that, but he was originally going to according to his post on SO/Lits News thread, but he abruptly ends it in there before Metalgate so…oops]

Is there any point in reading the next episode now that terminoob spoiled it for everyone?

[Steel: Nope, and that's the tea, MS.]

[SOF: Thankfully, we WON’T read the rest of his shit]

Find out next time on Dragon Ball Super!

[JCM: This was a SUPER waste of time!]

[Steel: Excuse me, I thought I was watching Yo-Kai Watch.]

Terminoob sighed in response.

 

“They should’ve just stopped after Cell got his ass kicked by Gohan…” he said in bemusement.

 [SOF: or that, but it's kinda too late]

Adrian and Felix were then shown to still be in the studio with Elasticorn, bemused themselves.

 [SOF: oh yeah, forgot those two were in this story]

“I wish they had just stopped after Celes got her ass kicked by us…” they said with a sigh.

[Steel: And it should've, so this is all that I'm ever going to read of this garbage Lit. Crazy Celes. ....There's black comedy and then there's...this: a piece of literature that showcases the author's crazy and twisted sense of humor that only he would find funny. Besides the fact that Crazy Celes is a display of MS' loss of sanity, this Lit in a nutshell is nothing more than a cemetery of comedy. If there's anything revolutionizing about this, it made me ultimately decide that I would sell my only copy of Yo-Kai Watch on the 3DS back to GameStop since he, this Lit, and the rest of the Metalgatey Bunch have now officially ruined it for me forever.

There isn't much else for me to add. I have nothing nice to say about Crazy Celes or the person who penned it - the person who I thought I knew, I never knew so well at all. I won't bother writing a longer rant. I wasted all my vodka on MDPP and his magnum opus of abhorrence. So, I'll leave it up to anyone else here with a longer piece to tear this apart.]

[SOF: I wish this SO/Lit should’ve ended here…but unfortunately it didn't. *sigh* Then again, we won't continue on to ep 15 like we were originally going to.

Is it really worth continuing through the rest of Crazy Celes, though? Hell no, is it that REALLY that bad? HELL YES! Now, how do I describe this whole series? It’s ridiculously awful. I mean, this parody fanfic is strange and boring, and it’s nothing to compare with DU because of how bland & stupid it is. Since we couldn't continue riffing this, I'm going to need to point out the biggest problem of all is: the fusion controversy. An obvious problem at that and it is really fucked up….WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! 

Overall, I can only say this Crazy Celes is just really fucking boring & none of it would work for me, I am done with MS & his edgy adventure for good.

Thanks JCM for letting my chance to riff your show. This is SOF signing it out!]

[JCM: I was planning to riff all 15 episodes, but honestly, I'm worn out just doing 6 of them, and those of you who have read this far should have a good idea of how batshit insane this lit is. If SBC Honest Trailers was Metal Snake's attempt at emulating YouTube's Honest Trailers, Crazy Celes was his attempt at emulating YouTube Poops, and much like YTPs, most of the humor can only be enjoyed by prepubescent boys who find randomness for the sake of randomness funny. I wanted to riff this lit because it's one of the worst lits on SBC, taking every bad quality of Metal Snake's writing and cranking them up to 11. I also wanted to riff it because of the circumstances of Metal Snake's departure from SBC and how he (not so subtly) reveals his opinions of Jjs, Hayden, and the site as a whole as we get further into the lit. Here's an excerpt from the final episode, which also happened to be Metal Snake's final post on SBC, to give you some idea of what I'm talking about:

“We plotted everything with Crazy Celes before we got on the plane.” Clappy explained in a sinister tone. “Since we’ve learned of SBC’s declining traffic and inevitable demise, it’s been our dream to watch the site’s community crash and burn in the world’s greatest country of socialism and war. How I used to long for SBC to be just like North Korea, but then they began to speak of peace and the end of a dictatorship! And worst of all, they WANTED TO THANK TRUMP FOR IT! INEXCUSABLE! That’s why we must do violence upon this nation...we will start a war with North Korea and have both SBC and the rest of the world go down in flames like it was supposed to! And once all is done, I will no longer be known as SBC’s Nostalgia Critic...I will forever be known as...SBC’s Moviebob!”

...yeah. Obviously, Metal Snake's a raving lunatic, and obviously SBC is better off without him, his friend Tron, and their partner in toxicity Cream or Whisper or whatever the crap she's going by now. Just like my SpongeBob's Host riffs were a final goodbye to Bi-I mean, MDPP, and my Full SBC riffs were a final goodbye to Zaid, this is my final goodbye to Metal Snake and most likely our final goodbye to Riffing Theater. I send us off with one last excerpt from Crazy Celes' final episode:

Inside the plane, ACS turned to the SBCers and sneered as he finished his transformation into...Elasticorn. 

 

“Welcome to the real world.” he said sinisterly. 

Yes. Welcome to the real world, indeed.]