Cha Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 y’all he made sb labor servan- i mean executive producer, sb must have begged for it. also damn, how them bird brains play w/o strings, that’s remarkable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Sweat Posted July 17, 2018 Author Popular Post Share Posted July 17, 2018 Episode 4: Squidward Chat! With your host, Squidward Tentacles! : Hello again, welcome to another episode of Squidward Chat with Yours T. Ruly! So the last episode was a disaster, but SpongeBob managed to... uh, get us a promising guest today that you all will love. We'll get to that later, but for now, the news! : rimshot : ...I didn't make a joke. : The news these days is already a joke. : rimshot : Ahem, anyway, the most important event that happened this week is that the mayor of Bikini Bottom and the mayor of New Kelp City have had a press conference where they discussed New Kelp City's alleged hacking in Bikini Bottom's elections. The conversation they had has sparked a lot of controversy and has raised a lot of tension among both cities and their residents. We'll see what happens from here. : Hey Squidward, I finally learned who Donald Trump is! : Now it's time to introduce our... guest. An old "friend" of mine as a matter of fact, he has gone to become very successful in his own right. Please welcome, Mini Squidward! -Intro music starts playing- : Man, I'm excited to see this puny little creatu- OH MY GOSH! : So... Mini-Squidward, how goes it? : I'm doing quite swell my old companion, how about you? : Well, I was doing fine until very recently. : Go Mini Squid! : So, I heard you have been doing more than just professional dancing, eh? : That's right! I managed to get an acting deal and have starred in several movies. You may remember my role in the cult classic, "HOW ABOUT A GAME OF YOU MUST DIE?!?!?!?!?" : Never heard of it. : That's okay, it might just be too cultured for you. -roaring laughter- : Wha- what was that? SpongeBob, where did the live audience come from? : Those are all of Mini Squid's fans. They wanted to see his appearance on your show! : Yes, that's one of the downsides of being famous, you just can't catch a break. : Oh of course, being famous must be oh so hard, isn't it? : And how! Maybe you'd know if you were famous too. : Now what are you trying to say? : Well I'm basically a newer, fresher version of you, so it surprises me that you never became famous like I did. : Excuse me? I'm the one with the TV show and you're the guest here. I'm famous too! : Hey now, I have a TV show too. It's called Mini Squidward Chat. I've had a lot of prestigious guests. Most recently, we got Mini Jackie Chan on our show. : What!? Why is it suddenly your time to shine when it's my show? : Well I am the guest. Thank SpongeBob for inviting me here. : Aww, you're welcome! Anything for the person I created. : Wont'cha look at that? We're out of time, folks! Sorry Mini Squid, but you have to go. : But we still have five mi- : It was nice talking to you Mini Squid, roll the credits! -end credits start playing- 1 6 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cha Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 dam, mini squid completely destroying squidward's career in a few words Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Sweat Posted December 1, 2018 Author Popular Post Share Posted December 1, 2018 Episode 5: Squidward Chat! With your host, Squidward Tentacles! : Greetings after a long hiatus, viewers! Thank you for being so patient. So very, very patient. : God is dead, Squidward. : rimshot : He sure is, SpongeBob! As a matter of fact, that's a good segue into our news portion of the show! The most important event that happened recently was that our literal creator, Stephen Hillenburg, died of ALS on November 26, 2018. A tragic, painful death for a man who technically should be beyond our comprehension. : When has this show ever made logical sense, Squidward ol' pal? DAHAHAHAHAHA : Speaking of making no logical sense, our very special guest today is what some would call "God Part 2." Please welcome Stephen Hillenburg's sole heir, Paul Tibbitt! : Welcome to the program, Paul! Please take a seat. : I can't. : Why's that? : I'm gonna tear these shorts. : Oh, I see. Say, have you lost weight? : No personal questions, please. : I apologize. Now let's get to the nitty gritty: how have you felt since your companion's death? : Quite frankly, it was exactly what I wanted. : W-w-wait, what? : Do you seriously think that after so many people online thought I ruined your guys' show, that there was no truth to any of it? : What show? Squidward Chat? How could you have ruined it? : I'm not talking about Squidward Chat you bumfuck sponge, I'm talking about your show. SpongeBob SquarePants! : I HAVE A SHOW!? : Yes! Stephen created you all so he can broadcast your existence on cable television. : *whispering* SpongeBob, get the bat from the closet in the kitchen. : Anyways, I hated Stephen for many years now. I never created anything good under my name, and here he was parading his stupid show about a bunch of sea creatures. Now that his ALS finally got to him, though, I can finally enact my plan of revenge! I will finally get to ruin SpongeBob like many thought I already did, and nobody will be there to stop me! MUAHAHAH- : thunk : Oh thank Neptune, SpongeBob. That was the most insane babbling I've heard in my life. : Any time, Squidward! : Well, viewers, I hope I didn't traumatize you too much this time. Thank you for watching! -end credits start playing- 5 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWM Posted December 1, 2018 Share Posted December 1, 2018 never thought I’d want to see Paul doing it to em 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpongeOddFan Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 that was amazing, Hal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweat Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 Episode 6: Squidward Chat! With your host, Squidward Tentacles! : Welcome back, viewers! For those who missed the previous installation of Squidward Chat, SpongeBob and I got sent into an existential crisis with our guest. All I hope for is for that to not happen again, but then again, anything is too much to ask with this show. : You said it, Squid! : Before we get to our extra-special guest, I have a huge piece of news that I'm sure every Bikini Bottomite needs to know... Bikini Bottom is getting a spin-off! : Wait, it is? : It sure is! Thanks to my connections with those in the know, : zzz : the mayor of Bikini Bottom has approved plans to make a spin-off of the entire city as a means to deal with our overpopulation problem. While some have spoken against this move, the mayor thinks the residents are clamoring for it. On the screen, you're about to see a plan for what the Bikini Bottom spin-off will hopefully look like. : Oh my gosh Squidward, that's terrible! : Again, it sure is! Don't shoot the messenger. : I love it! : AAAAAAAH!! Squidward, who just said that!? : I think you're just hearing things again, SpongeBob. : It's okay Squidward, I've acknowledged that I'm completely losing my mind! : rimshot : Either way, let's get to our special guest! For this episode, we let Patrick choose the next guest, and I'd like to say he made a good choice. Didn't you Patrick? : zzz : Everyone put your flippers together for the void! : So, gaping void, how did you and Patrick first know each other? : ̛̘̮͎̮̞̋̂͛͊̈̈̅̚ͅG̘̣͎̦͗͂̌̾͂ͫ̚͝k̞͒̄͗̇̒r̥̼͉̰̖̦͔̔͐ͣ̽̀ͦ͂͛̚͟͡ṏ̼̻́ͥ̊ͫ̕̕͟ì̬͚͍͔͔̬̩̗̮ͪ̋̈͟g̨̙̜̙̠̱̎̾̅͐̍͗̈́͞r̶̺͕̻͓ͩ̂̆͊͂ͣͩk̩̫͕̩̘̭͌̔ͤ͒̐͐̍͜j̸̤͎ͩ͗͐̉̓͑̂̃ͧ̀͞g͉̰̮̖͍͂̆̿̀͂̒͌͆́̀r̶̦͖̣̳̻̹ͬ̾́̚͝ō̧̝ͨ͒̒̇̎̊̚ḯ̳ͭ̍̿͘͠ͅg̸͎̮̱̹͓̳̩̹͛͂͘͠r̨̨̝͉͋ͫ̉̈̈͒̆k̶̶̗͓͇̫̪͓͎͎ͥͬ̄́ͥ̚ḻ͚͓̦ͣ̋̇ͦ͑ͬ́̚g͚̮͈̖͐ͦͪ͟͠j̼̣͈̻͖̯͕͔̏ͧ͛͊̇̓̋͂r̢̯̦͓͕̗̼͕ͪ͋̃ͣ͗̓̕l̻̩̝̲͂ģ͙̜̄́ṣ͕̘̣̯ͦ̐͌͂f̢̟̑͡͠f̧͚͖͕̖͈ͮ͗͋ͧͥ̕r͖̥̗ͫ͑ͩ͋̄̓ͭh̴̩̜̗̦̤̫̘ͧͪͬ̽͗ͯ̾̓ͅw̉̊̈҉̫̬̫̬̘ͅf̴̧̖͍̲͉̺̎̿̑ͭ̈r̴̲ͨͫ͞g̗ͯ̈̒ͦ̓͊̉́h̶̡̬͕̮̱̖͖̦̙̽ͪ͘r̷̷̖̯͎͍͈̙̅̅ͣ̏w͛̀͟ͅj̴̡̛̯̠̭̮͓̤ͥ̐͌̓ǩ̸̡͎̜̬̇̏ͬͥ̒͌̌́͡g̫̹̥̙͖͇͙̮̓͑͗ͯͦ͡͡͠l̛̰̭̭̮͕̩͈͓̄̂̆͒́̕r̻͎̙̭͍̥̭̣̹͋̋̽͛̊͛k̶̢̦̳ͮͤ̒̌ͣ̂͋ o͍͒͆̒̋̅̉̆̍p̍͋҉̞̦g̢̘̺̦͎̘̯͗͝l̶̳̳͙̥̠̲̺ͪ̋ͭͬ̏ͤ̕͠ṙ̰̹͎͙̲̩̍́̉̂̎̓̚͘w̵͈͇̲̬̳̰̓̚̕; ̸̭͇͒G̵̥̳͈̯͓̰̊̃̊͒̀͘k͂̒̿҉̫̟̭̻r̸͎̫̙͒͂͐ͥͭ̆ͤ̅͜o̵͚͚̙͐ͭ̈́̽ͣ̈̇ͫi̵̷̡̤̫̺̎̑̆͂̆͛̈̏g̀̄̿̂͋̓͏͖̘̣̗̘̰͘ͅr̷̤̹̘̱̫̖̣̓̂ͩͩ̽̂̅̾ḵ̴̝̰͚͔ͬ̊j͚̖̼̬̽̇̈̂͘͠g̴̨̙̟̙̹̈́̍͞r͔͓͔̣̩͚̽͋ͯ̉̉͌o͚̟̲̘̺̺͈͉̊͂ͮ̓ͧ̐i̧͇̘͈̯̟̞̟ͪͥg̴̨̻͍̯͍̋̔ͧ̓r̡̯̪͎̝͚̹͓̠̿ͩ̀͟ķ͙̦̈̀̉ͪ͌͒ͫ̀͜͢l̟͗ͧ͂̓ͯͨg͚̬̝̟̱̯͛̑̇́̆̇j̗̝̆ͤ͌͠ͅr̰͓͙͓̘͑̈́͆̉͋͜l̡̥̠̥͇͐̾ͪ͠ǵ̠̮̰̹ͨ̌̚͝ͅs̴̜͇̪ͤ͊̂̋͋̎͆f̢͈̝̪̘̲̫ͯͬ̈́́̇ͤ̑ͅf͍̱͓̳̥͙ͭͦ͌̒̎͌r̡̝͓̰͇͖̻͓͇̎͂͗ͭ̾̎ͩ̿͊h̴̲̤͚̠͔͖̣ͣ̇̓ͣw̛̬̠̬̥̭̹̳͖̺ͧ̉ͮ̓͠f̷̨̟̣͂ͦͨ̓ͣ̉͟r̴̗͎͙̙͓̀̀͗g̣̠̙̱̭̲̜͛͊͗̎ͫ́͊͌h̤͇̦̬̞̩͗̄̒̅ͪͥͪ͡͠r̩̝̯ͥ̒͝w̜̞̰̩̰͙̺ͧ͡ĵ̞͖̺̙̉͐k͗̾̋̋ͭ́͏̭̳͍̫̠g̖͖͉͍͎̦̬̍̋͑̄͝ͅl̶̰̩̀́̐͑ͭ̕ṟ̨̛̞́̅ͤ͛̅ͨ̂k̸͓̳̝̭̝̅̽̈́̈̑ͅo̵̧̻̳̥͇̥ͭ̓ͬͨ̕ͅp̉̀͗̚ ̰̩͇̱̞͕̲́̚͡G̢͓̖̬̣͆ͫͪ̈ͭ̄̑́l͂̂҉̸͔͍͇̖̬̳̫̭r̪̘ͧ̽̐ͣ̓ͧ͜w̘͖͉̟͕̣̾́̓ͣ͒ͧ̎ͨ͘͘ͅ; ̸̭̤̙̫͖͔͌ͧ̓͡G̟̜̰̩̭ͤͭ̏̀̀̀ͅk̞̤͉̤͗ͧ̓̄͐ͭ͟ȑ̢̨̯̜̱͂̿͂ͬoͭ͂́̌̾͆̒͒҉̷͔̞i̵͎͍͚̘͕͙͖̦͆̉ͭ͟g̷͈̖̀̆̇ͬ̏ͤ͞r̷̷̤͐̓ͅk̸̘̲͙̺ͭ͐͢j̡̥̰̮̎͆ͦ͐̂́̚͟͞g̢̱̮̦̘̹͈̘̺ͯ̃ͭ̉ͣ͆͊ͯr̷̙̟̣̮͓̼̞̜͖̊̏o̵ͩ͊ͨ͒͑̏҉̥̥̮͙i̷̤̗͎̠͚̎̅̓̓̉ͤ̐̀g̡̺̣̫ͬ͆ͨ͒͐̀ͧ͞r̵̡͚̅̓ͯ͂̑ͤͮ͝k̼̤̫̫͉̣͔̃͒͂ͥ̓̾̾ͣl͚̖͕͇̬ͬͭ̓̽̔́g̼͎̥̝̈ͨ͂ͥ͑͌͗j͋̂̚҉̶͙͚̱͇̝̰͚̭͠ř̝̖̥̖̗̮͔̀͢l̵͔̤̲̣͈͓͂̓̈́ͥ͂g̨̮͓̪̾͌̎ͩ̄ͯͥ̊͢s̊̇͐̇̑̔͏̠̱͈͉̩f̶̻̲̟̐̈́̇ͧf̹ͨ̑̀̾̾ͬ͜ȑ̢̔͑͏̮͖͇̳h̡̛̲̫͔̩̱̝͕͛̓̉̓̃̿̓̚w̛͚͂̎̂ͧͭf̛͎̿̅̚r̸̤͖̅ͭ̎͘ǵ̝̱̈́̍͐͗ͧ͊ͭh̶̴͖̯̥͙͓̭̆ͪ̋ͩ͟ͅr͚̞̟ͪͩ̈̍̀͢w̸̶͖̼͈̱̠͔͈ͯ͆ͥͧ͂̃̈ͥ́͢j̗̠͚͈̰͙̖͓͔̈́́͗ͪ͋ͬ̄̌̚̕͞k̊̒̊̽͂̃͏̣̩g̼̦̹͈̣̰̿̃́͢͠l̮̫̲̣͇̮̩̃͐̎ͅȑ̴͖̼̱̟͍͈ͣ̌̂̀̿̿̌̚͟k̨̯̱̥͒ͥ̇o̰͕̞̳̬ͬ̃p͌ ̸͖̖̳̟͛͐̃ͯ̇͐ͥ͟G̵̛͈̞͕̦̗͌ͦ̀̈ͭ̄̑̈l͈̫̲̯͎ͤͩ͒͜͢r̙̗̪̹ͯ̒͋ͪ̒w̶̭̞̥̭͚̖͍̗̮̍͒͋̚͢; gkroigrkj҉grȯigrklgjrlgsffrhwfrghrwj҉kglr kopglrw; gkroigrk҉jgrǫigrklgjrlgsffrhwfrgh҉rwjkgl҉ȑko pglrw; ̲̼͇̫́͆̄͑ͬ̾ͮ͊G̬͚͔̒̃ͮ̏̚ͅk̫̠͂ͦ̋͞r̯̲͍̟̬̘̮ͦ͊̽̽̀̋ͦ̚oͧ̈́͏̷̜͕͈̖͇͜ī̶̢̩̗̻̪̙ͩ̓̀͑ͣ́ġ͚̳̞̪̖͕͐̍́r̠̤͓͕̠̘͌ͯ̐k̠̻̮ͣ̔j̡̻́͞g̙͕̯ͯ̏̍ͩ̂́̿rͩ̎̔̔̕҉̩̱̖̭͍̝̖̱o̧̼͔̱͍̙͍͕ͤͤ̏ͤ͜͝i̍̊̒̓̌͊ͧ͏̵̞͔̖͡ͅǵ̙̺͔̲̖̃̎ͮ̏̐̅̇̀ͅr̘͓̻͕̯ͤ͛̎̋ͤ̑͝k͚̟̣̗̘͈̩̱̓̂ͅl̠̹̗͚͈̘̜̹̃̃̓̉͗͊̏̀͞ḡ̸͒ͧ͌̄͂̃҉̮̭͔̯j̴̖̫̮̣̑͗͌ͯ͂̾̀ŗ̶͎͓͓͓̩̻͔ͤ͊͐̈́ͨ̀l̸̶̼͔͇̙̩̓̌̿g̖̜̅̎̾̏s̸̨͍͖̹̻̍̅͂̾͗f̧̬̮̯̫̿͊f͎͙̜̝͚͖͉̥͌ͫͫͥ̏͘r̼̜̠̝͂͊ͮ͒͆͗h͇̟̼̘̟̬̤̫ͦ͂w͎̝̩͉̔̽ͯ̋ͨͬ̂͋͡͡f̶͔̯̰͈̘̮̫͚͓ͤ͊̌̆̏̓̈͢r̤̼̼̟̲̿ͯͩ̅͗̀g̢̞̜̊̐̌͗̆ͯ͗̚h̶̷̩͍̹͓̳͍̼̜̀̍ͮͧ̌͒̎ͪr͚̟̮̱͖̱͗́͋͐ͭͮ̔̚ͅw̡̰̘͇̰͉̱̄̏̌͗̓ͯ̚̕͝j͛̓̈̎͛ͦ̕͜҉̘̮̘̗͈ķ̞̗͕̮͈̇ͨ̄͋͐͐̕ġ̔̂̓̕͏̩̹̖̥̹̱͉l̴ͪ͑͂̃́ͅṙ̬̩͉͈̼̓̔̔̈́̃̀ͥk̴̘͇͕͐́͜ ͙̠͕͈͙̰O̠̐̈́͟p̴̼͎̫͙̝̮͆͆̒͆͗͞ͅg̨̳̰̘̫̑ͬ̉̂̐́l̵ͧ͂͆̾̓҉̸͈͉̠̱r̴̝̤̣̓ͧͤwͬ́҉̨̭̳͎͈̫͚͈ͅ; ̷̧͙͇̪̠͖̐ͣG̸̴̦̟̤͚͉͊ͮ͆͐̊̓̓͊͡k̮͉͎͔͎̟̫̿̌̄̅r̙̙̠ͤͤͥ̇ͪͅo͎̰̞̓̆i͉̩̯̬͊ͣg̤̼͖̝͈͖̅̐ͨ̅͊̅r̢̠͙͓̞̿ͭ̌k̨͍̘̮̥̝͎̇̏̾̈́̀̚j̬̮̙̹̗̪͎̄̾ͪ̕ͅg̿̒̔͏̢͍̝̟̥̤̞̯͠r̶̲͎̟̗ͮ̏ͭo̵͔̠̅͛́i̛̲̘̮ͦ̀͞ͅg̡̤͇̲ͧ̑ͭͫ̏͘r̗̝̯͇ͣ̾̚͢ǩ̢̹̰͕̥̦͙͛̑̑͌̆̒́l̷͚͈̣̟̳̗̓̽ͬ̇͆͋̊̽͞ğ̸͂̇ͦ̀ͣ͐ͭ҉̯̩͍ĵ̙͇̦͚̌ͨͨ͌ͫ͋̔͠r̵̥͎̼̣̜̮͚̽ͤͣl̮̫̮̲̣̀̄̄̒̓ͧ̓̆̈́ğ̢̛͉̙̭̬̥͉s͛͐͛͒̈́̂ͧ͗̀͜҉̘̻̘͢f̎̏ͬ̑̽̃ͧ͏͏̲̥̟f̠͉͚͐ͬr̳̲͍̹̞̅̌ͯ̑̃ͭ͒͆͜h̷̭̤͙̪̯ͧ̇̿ͨͧ̏̆̀͐̀͟w͉̱͍͕͇̜͒̂fͫͦ̋҉̗̞͕̀r̦̗̭̠̾͋͘͞g̼̭ͣ͗̏ͭ̕͟h̖̏̔̓̈́͟͞r̛̖̣ͭͬ̆͑ͨͬ̐ͩ̚wͬͦ͂̔͒̚҉̤̺͖̥̜̹̭̮͘j̞̲̭̫̉͂̍ͧ̌̄͗ͯk̛̭̻̜̲̟̤͇̘̒ͧ́g̸͔͔͙̱͎̏̉l͂̇̅̉͏͔͍͍̳̘̻͍͈r̴͓̪̹̘̞̖͉͛ͧ̾ͅk̶̳̜̦̗̪̍́ͮ̎͢ͅǫ̸͕̮ͦ̇͛̓p͔͎̻̪̳͆̎g̻͉̭̤̤̠͎͇͕ͩ͆ͦ͂̏̈́ͦͮl͌͗l͌͗l͌͗ ̩̰̳͔ͩͥͮ̽͂ͯ͘ͅR̛̥̲̬̮̹̜̙͑̐̎̓ͫw͖͖̳̮̭ͫ͋̆̕͞; ǵkroigrkjgr҉oigrklgjrlgs҉ffrhwf҉rghrwjkglr k҉opglȑw; ̵̸͇̙̮̖͇̺̞ͣͦ̃̋͌̏͌͊͋G̯͇̲̭̣̮̘̬̯ͨ͂̓̎͒̎͐ͥk͈̥͈̇ͅr̹̊ͯ͒͑͋̚͝o̼̬͇̳ͣͦͪi̟̯͉̙͉͙ͧ͂̑̔ͮ̇͊͞g̵̩̭̲̝ͬ͌͗r̶̯͙̣͈̯͙̤̪͓̊̓̇̚̕ḳ̛͉̥̻͊ͫͩ̇͆̾̾́̕ͅj͇̬̭͉͍̟̤̺͉ͩͮ̃̅͊̄̚g̵͕͚̯͚ͫ̓̀ͫ͑͑ͧ̆ͭr̥̭͛ͭͭ̓̒̃̀ǒ̸͔͙͎͓̦̫͍̝̿ͦͥ̿͊́̚̚i̛̦͓̖̺̝̰͍ͫͪ͑̃̈́͢g̢̦͓̦͇̝͖̠ͧͥ̏ͩ͟r̭͕̠͖̳̹̖̝ͫ̈̄ͥ̋͊ͩk̘̭̼̓̓͡l̝̬̗̰ͪ̔̚͜͠g̵ͥ͌́ͬ͋ͮͣͧ͑҉̘̲̳͉ͅj͖͓̜̝̰͙̥͆͑͋ͯ̕͞r̶͆̆ͧ͏̤l̫͎̻͔̫ͮ͛g̨̘͓͂̅ͨ̾̀͜s̜͕̾̌f̡͇̩̾̃͝f̬̬̣͔̝̔ͫͤ̍ͨ̓ͩ͢r̛̩͎̮̩̥̋ͪͮ̓̇̓ͪ͒ͅh̸̸̲͕ͧ̾̃̓̿̈ͭ͠w̻͚̼̉ͣ̓ͯ̄͟͡f͇̝͋͊̀̈́́̔ͫ́r̵̡̛̳͎̬̙͐̏͗͒gͣ͛͋̃̈̆ͤ͟҉̬̮̼͖̞͍h̸̷̨͚̳̬͋ͤ̓r͛ͩ̓̐̾҉͏̗͈͔̣̰ẃ̬̟̟̫͓̱̟̱͊̉ͮj̦̣̺͍̗͎͇̱͋ͨ̍͒̍̓͝k̸͉̗̦̤̙̘̤ͫͤ̈͂̎̂̈́ͭg̣̟̙͇̖̰ͭ̉̕͟͞lͭ̅͊̌ͮͫ͋͏̡̗̪̱͔r̋̓̑̃͛ͩ̈́̉̑҉҉̜k̛̭̞̭̳͔̎͆̌ͧ͞ ͍̜Ǫ̴̪̍̋͂̐̓̏͌ͩp̸̮̠̪̟̐̆̒͋̃͒̈̓̇ģ̶̧̠̩͉̪̞̖͉̦̙̉ͪ́͗ͤ̓̏̍l̸̪̟͔̃̐ͥ͆ͪ̉r͉̞͔͕̩̲̆̿͝ͅẅ̘͚͎̲ͣ̋̎̀͘; ̺͖̻͚̪̂͗͛̊̾̉́͘͠G͙̦̅̂̽̑ͧ͒́͟k̟̝̦̖͋͑̋͢r̸̡̲͎̗͇̱̾̿ͬͯ͊̌̊̔̂̀ơ̠͕͓̜̤͖̾ͩ̀̕i͇͔̞̜̹̟̞̇̂ͤͩͥͯ͝g̹̙̩̭̬̥̍͌ͤ̀͡r̭̱̠̱ͧ̅ͣͤ͟k͕̫͍͎ͮ̽̆̑j̰̫͚̖͙̰̭̤ͧ̃̍͗́̚͡g̶̡̺ͪ̂̐͗̌̀̐r̭͈͊̅ͤ̍͑͛͞o̴̱̗̯͈͕͖͍̽͠i͚̝̙ͬ̃̅ͤ́͊̚g̸̪̞͔̹̫̲͚̖̾ͨŗ̵̺̰̳͉͓̰̩̋̂ͥ̓ͩ̀ķ̼̟̣̞͚̓̂ͧ̇ͣ̇ͬͨl̡͕̖̻͇̲̰͉̂̅͋ͬͯ̉̌ͅg̶̵̺̪̳̺̞̞̣ͨͣ́j̪͙̲̖̠̲͊̐ͮ̈́̈́̽̿͂r̡̦̝͔̘̭͇̙̩̺ͥ͡l̢̖͍̰̹̭̝̥̩̆ͯ̀͐͊̔͢g̢̢̪̳͓̓ͥ̒̌ͨ͌̎̃s̛͎̥͖̖͕̟͌̐ͯ̑͠͞f̟̫͙̽̓ͧ̍͐͆̕͟͢f̷̛̮͍̗͍̹͋̒͌̊͂͐̂ṙ̡̐̒ͧ̋ͦͫ̂҉̟̼̮̱̥̘̙ͅh̷̛̥̜̦͕̩̊͋͛̀ͯͨw̱̮̦̹̫͚̝͂̊̀ͪͫf̝̖̙̲̰͓͚̣͊ͮ̿ͯ́ͦ͑̚͡r̢̧̯̰̬̠͙͎̊͌̒̔g̛̼̪̲̋̆͌̾́̍̐ͬ́h̶̴̘̪̣̮͋̊͊ͣ̀ͦͩr̋̄҉͖̱͈̻̘̰̪̜͜w̵̸̳̫͋ͯ̽̊͑ͪ̽ͭj̎̉ͫͥ͂̔҉̹k̖͕̗̳̦͇̖ͭ̑̚ͅg̸͈̙̙̗͖̩͚ͭ̈́ͭͥ̒ͪ͊͜l̬͖ͯ̒ͮ̕ ŗ̸͙̣̂͑̌͋̄̔̿̊̌k̵̝͓̣͙̦̘̬̤̃̎ͮo̰͙ͩͫͬ͠p͌̍ͥ̍͛͏̲g̸̲̫͍̜̳̽̚͢͡l̖͇͔̯̰̜͋͐̓͒̉̌̉͋͠ṟ̶̤̪̫̗͛͒͋̈́̅ͧͧ͒̾ŵ̳̰̠̝͉͓ͤ̏̓̎̓͗̏́; ̻͕̩ͣͮ́̕͞G̴̦̣̖̬̮͈̪̤ͩ̇̈́̕ǩ̸̹̗̙̲̱̎̍͑ͬͅr͖̺̭̗̦̳̦̙̈́̈͡ò͕̹̾̃̅͗͋ͥ̍̊í̸̥̞ͥ̿̈́̒ͦ̎͠g̷̴̻̻͎̪̦͊ͮ̅́r̘͚̘̬̖̭ͤ̉̇̆ͦͧ̅̒͘͠k̷̺̦̯̪͍̭ͫ̆͗̋̏j͆̊͒ͥ̈̄̔͏͈̻̫g̵̗̖̯͕͇̮̲͖ͧ͡r̢̗̺̠͖ͦ͒̆ͧ̚͡ͅo̙̫̪̙̣̱̣̠ͯ͂̃͌ͪͪ͛i̵̧̗̹͎͕̥͙̳ͬ̉ͯ͒̾͢ͅg̣̥̲̭͓̑̃̈́͐͘r͔̼͉͎̘͖̳̂̊͑̈͢͝k͓̞̳͚͙̺̝̐̈́͛́͠ͅl̮̟̪̬̞̪̉͜ģ̢̬͈̠̩̿ͥ̍͐ͧj͚̲͕̤̊ͯͤ́̑͆͟r̬͎͇̱̥ͣͫͭ͛ͮ̌ͅl̢̥͓͉̝͕͙ͨ̏̾́̚g̺̺͆̈͆̓͗͆̍̿̚s̶̷̘͚̖͗ͬ͌̕f̴̳̮̝̟̤͎̬̻̒̿̅ͭ̀͌̀͢f̤̯̲̫̯̊̏̚͢͞͠r̤̭̘͂̎ḧ̷͇̼͈̦̦́ͤw̴̝̫͍͒ͪf̨̊ͯ̋̔̊̒̃҉̤̲̙͈̝̤̠ͅr̴̡̲̤ͦ̍̓ͭgͯ͛͑̔̅͑̒͏͇͙̙͖͞h̪̮͙̖̮̠̹͍́͂ͦ̈͌͌̓͑̈͘rͥ̽̅҉̗̖͔̤͜w͇͕͊̔ͭ̏͗͛ͤ̚j̙̪̙̟̻͓̝͊̇ͪͤ̀͛̊ͣ̚͝k̘͕̹̮̽̆̓̏͋ͦ̅̈́̋̕g̩̺̩̏l̓̆̓ͫ̅͛̇ͪ͐͘͟҉̲̫͍͓̱̭r̭̞̱̜ͭͨ̎͊̊̎͜͝k̴͚̮̲̦̐̎̋̈́͑͠ͅ ̟O̦͈ͣ̔͛p̷͔̯̩̩̣̲̖̥͈̀́̿̈̆̅g͈͉͖ͮ̾͛͐̾ͩ͆́̏l̵͎͂̓͑̄́͢r̭̻̟̣̙̣̳̣͆͑͜͞ẅ̭̯̩͉̜̣̞̪ͫ̽̈̊ͮͭ͜; gkr҉҉oigrkjgroigrklgjrlg҉sf҉frhwfrǧhrwjkglȓǩȯpg lrw; gkroi҉grkjgroigrklg҉jrlǧ҉sffrhwfrg҉hrwjkglrkȯpg lr҉w; gkroigrkjgroigrklgjrlgsffrhwfrghrwjkglrkǫpǧlr W; gkroigrk҉ǰgroigrklgjȓ҉lgsf҉frhwfrghrwjkglr kopglrw; ͓̗̥̞̥̱̳̲͒́G̤͍̙͈̩ͣͧ͆ķ̟̪͙͙̫̲̘̲̻̍̅ȑ̜̲̟̥͚͈͇̥̑ͫͨͨͤ̕ͅo̗̻̺̾ͅi͍̲̩̯ͩ̑ͬ̔̃ͅg̻̟ͩ̓̔͑́ͦ̆̚͠ŕ̡̲̳̭̏k͋̓ͤ͗̓ͣ̿̓̇͏̝̩̺̯͕̤̞͎͕j͙̲̜̱͍͎͍͋͒ͥ́͝ͅg̶̒͊̄̓͑̓̌̊ͨ͏̯͉̞̬͈r̶̲̖͖̣̪̈́͂̉ͨ̋̓͆̈̀o̿̐ͪͨ̃ͪ̏̄͏̜̘̬̳̭̺̰i̖̬̫̼̮̭̗̼͗͛͂͑ͣ͋́̚͘g̱̙͍͎͕̿ͮ̑̌ͬ̏̆͂r̺͙͇̥̲̥̣ͮͤ͑͊̑̚k̶̝̫̮ͯ̒́̀̚l̞̫̏̐́̆͆̎ͣĝ̡̞̈́̇͆̀͌jͩ̎̾͏̞̭̹͉̥̻ͅr̸̵̯̗̹͉̪ͬ̚l̪̙͕̩̩̻̥̪̩̈́̈́͊ͧ̃ͤ̓̀g̶̙͍͕̻̤̬̯͍͂͋ͪͪ̂̈́̀͢ş̸̭͔̦̄̓ͯ͑̃͂ͯf̶͉͔̳̭̟̫̠̈ͬ̈́̊͆͞f̴̛̞̙ͭ͋̔̀͆ͦͥr̴̳̟̣̞͔̖͒̅ͥͥ̆̏̕͡ḧ̷̛̳̬̦̹́̿̓̎̚ẇ͉̝̥̫̐͂ͬ̿ͮ́ͅf̛̟̳̙̼̞̪ͮ͑ͪ̆̀͠r̭̦͓͉ͭͮͪ̌ģ̷̛̘̬̘͔̯̎͒̇̾̐ͮh̛̝ͨͯ͝ȓ̨̖͍͕̖̮̤̹ͣ̐̿̆͒͋͟w͉̟͐͗j̛̬̮̜͈͎̣̱͇̒̎̅̓̓̈ͩ̄̿̕͝k̢̰̺͇̲̍ͪ̃͌ͭ͗͑̕g̴̯͚͖͍̻̱̻͋̎ͭ͠l͑ͭ̓̎̎̏҉̰͕͔̺̟͇̣r̭͇̒̑́͜k ͎͚̪͙̤̝ͦ̎͑͗̏̒͆Ŏ̡̳̬͉͉̜̺̓̽̓͡͞p̷͙̠̫̱̝̲͛͆̋̅̌g̡̱̞͕̹̰̗̜̱̏̈ͩ̚͢͝l̡͊ͫͥ͏̱̜̟̺̰̫͉r̨̛͙̖͋ͅw̢̜̠̞̖̩ͪ̄ͩ͒̔ͭ̈́̾; 3 1 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cha Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 the day patrick wakes up is the day we should all be concerned and frightened about 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpongeOddFan Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 that was amazing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweat Posted March 2, 2019 Author Share Posted March 2, 2019 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Sweat Posted March 2, 2019 Author Popular Post Share Posted March 2, 2019 @Kotarou @OWM @DarknessDG @sbl Thanks to these people for helping write this episode. Episode 7: Squidward Chat! With your host, Squidward Tentacles! : Welcome back to the show, dear audience! During the last installation of Squidward Chat, the void paralyzed both me and SpongeBob for days and we had to go to the hospital! : I still can't see in my left eye, Squidward. Dahahahahaha! : Yes, after that incident, we decided to move Patrick far, far away. Hopefully, we won't need him for the time being. : Now onto the news! As you can see, some interesting new folk have invaded OUR TOWN MERCILE- ahem these polite visitors came from the void before we managed to get rid of it. Some of them, as a matter of fact, claim to be part of some alternate universe "Bikini Bottom National Socialist Party." Whatever that means, right? They are now dominating the political landscape of Bikini Bottom and have been pushing policies such as creating a giant ocean empire and getting rid of the squids. Now, while I am a squid and am therefore terrified, I am certainly interested in hearing what these new visitors to Bikini Bottom have to say. : Squidward, why does that well-dressed guest look so much like me? : Please welcome our very special guest, Smithsonian Von Schwammkopf! : Yeah yeah. Guden Morgen! Assholes : Wow, thanks for the warm introduction, Smith. How have you been enjoying your time in Bikini Bottom so far? : Well there’s no waste here or spills or nuclear wars... is it weird to say I’m actually home sick? That could be the chemical withdraw talking though. : Oh, believe me. I understand. Say, would you like to elaborate on your party's stance on squids? : Holy FUCK why are you so obsessed? You wanna know what I think of squids? What I think of every goddamn sea creature in any void or universe? I could give a SHIT less what happens. Unless it’s to my divorce-strained kids, love you both. : How am I so sure you're telling the truth? : Would he have unwillingly brought his colorful best friend if he was lyyyying! Haha! Bring me home, live music band! : Shut up, Frank. : AAAAAAAAAAH! Is that Patrick or another one of the Natural Socialists!? : Hiya other dimension Smith! : That’s just my dipshit coworker Frank. We met in college. Hey wait a minute how the fuck did you get in here anyway? : Some wild college parties eh Smith? Haha. I got here through your heart And the back door to this studio was unlocked. : Alright, I demand an explanation or I am kicking you both out! : Uh uh, I blame my Jewish cousin’s parents for getting me Circumcised one day when I came over and now I don’t know how to answer big questions! sobs : Have anything to say for yourself, Smith? : So are you freakin’ telling me you all have NO wars or fascism whatsoever in this little fru fru world of yours? : I mean... not anymore. SpongeBob, get the bat again. Also, my lawnmower. : Anyway, what the fuck were we talking about, squids? : Oh, we were just killing time before Sp- I mean, we were discussing your experiences in Bikini Bottom so far! : Well I think it’s a beautiful city full of rich cultures and diversity! Or I don’t know, I just drank whatever was on your desk just now, bald jewish Squid. : Alright Squidward, I got the bat and the lawnmower, what do I do with the la- : HURRY UP SPONGEBOB, TOSS ME THE BAT! : toss : WHAT THE FUCK IS GOI- thud : Holy fuck Smith put the gun down we’re off working hours. : Alright Squid, I got it started. : Aim it towards that clone Patrick or whatever the heck he is! : Sure Squid, but I don't know wh- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Bikini Bottom Public Access has decided the next sequence would be too graphic for our viewers. Apologies for the inconvenience. 2 2 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cha Posted March 2, 2019 Share Posted March 2, 2019 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweat Posted March 2, 2019 Author Share Posted March 2, 2019 Also, remember to smash that mothafuckin' FOLLOW button so you don't miss out on the last 3 episodes. They will be a doozy. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thanos Posted March 7, 2019 Share Posted March 7, 2019 Reading literature isn't something one considers when balancing the universe, but this...does put a smile on my face. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenPaz Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 Holy shit this is fucking great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Sweat Posted May 31, 2019 Author Popular Post Share Posted May 31, 2019 Episode 8: Squidward Chat! With your host, Squidward Tentacles! : Welcome back to the show, impressively patient audience! After yet another hiatus, we cleaned up the mess that those alternate universe clone freaks created. : The blood was our doing, though! Dalalahahahhahajaskf : We are now ready to continue the program, though, and we hope to continue for real this time. Let's go back to the usual and start with the news! Just last week, Bikini Bottom's mayor was caught in a very serious scandal fo- : Uh, Squidward? : Must you interrupt me, SpongeBob? Can we have just one episode where things go smoothly? : But there's a knock on the door! : A... kno- why don't you just ANSWER IT while you keep the camera running on me? : Ohhhhhhh that's smart! You have a big noodle in there, Squid. I'll go do that right now! : Thank you. Anyways, back to the news. The mayor of Bikini Bottom is in very hot water after evidence has been found of him smuggling ke- : AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! : OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, WHAT IS IT!? : We... uh, have a visitor. : Is it really that important right n- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! : Your show, Squidward. It's mine now. : What!? Why do you need my show? I thought you already had a Mini Squidward Chat? : Oh, I sure did. That said, recently, some of those immigrant Nazis decided to burn my entire studio down! Isn't it ridiculous? Maybe that's what I get for defending Fishrael on primetime TV. : W-wha- : Yep, it sure is tragic. I sure miss my set, as having an actual studio and not filming in my living room was a big reason my show did so much better than yours does. It's a real shame I have to downgrade to your dumpy abode, but mini me lives in a mini house. I can't even fit my loyal audience inside it! -exploding laughter from outside- : Now that's enough talk, don't you think? I suggest you get off my set while you or my creator over by the camera can happily join my loving audience! : I'm starting to have doubts in how much I love you, Mini Squid. : You can take my show over my dead body! Sure, it may be poorly run, but it's the only thing that keeps me going. I'd sooner bite your bullet than give this show up. : Ah, I see. How much money do you earn off of this show? Enough that you can quit your job in fast food and live comfortably? : Uh, well, I- : I'm not stupid, dull bigger Squidward. Say, let's reach a compromise. If you let me host my show in your house, I will give you 20% of the revenue my crew and I earn from it. What do you say? : No way! Squidward does this for more than just a stupid dollar or two, Mini Squid. He would never sell out! Right, Squiddy? : ... -end credits start playing- Spoiler MINI SQUIDWARD CHAT! WITH YOUR HOST, MINI SQUIDWARD! : Welcome back to my show, loyal audience! How are you all tonight!? -rapturous cheering- : WHOOOOOOO, GO MINI SQUID! : -sobbing- 10 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweat Posted August 19, 2019 Author Share Posted August 19, 2019 Episode 9: : Wow SpongeBob, I didn't you realize you had such good connections! : I sure do, and I am more than happy to help you out, Mini Squid! You know... I wasn't a fan of you taking over at first, but you've been doing such an amazing job and Squidward is making more money than ever! Thank you, Mini Squiddy. : No problem at all, SpongeBob. I knew you two would come around to the idea. I'm gonna go and call the number you gave me now. I just hope he has the time to be our guest for the next episode. : Oh trust me Mini Squid, he'll have time. [The Day After] MINI SQUIDWARD CHAT! WITH YOUR HOST, MINI SQUIDWARD! : Welcome back, you lovely viewers! How are you all doing tonight? -rapturous cheering- : I'M DOING GREAT, MINI SQUID! : WHOOOOOOO! : I hope you're all ready for a VERY special guest tonight! -cheering- : YYEEAAAAA- SPONGEBOB LET ME GO : Before we get to our surprise guest, let's start with the news! : ALRIGHT SPONGEBOB, I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU! WHAT DO YOU NEED THIS TIME!? : I needed to take you out here where it's quieter to remind you that Mini Squid is taking advantage of you! : You keep saying that over and over, SpongeBob, but even if he is, I'm making more money than ever while doing it! Why should I be bothered by it? : Squidward ol' buddy, are you really okay with Mini Squid's crew and audience taking advantage of your house and constantly interrupting your beauty sleep? : SHUT UP! : Are you really okay with Mini Squid doing so well by stealing from you? He stole your jokes! He stole your job! He stole your standing ov- : -sobbing- : Sq- Squidward, are you okay? : FINE, YOU WIN! I've been trying my best to be okay with this for weeks now, but making more money isn't worth him stealing my spotlight. Why did we even bother quitting the Krusty Krab to do this entire project anyway? : I never quit Squidward, that was just y- : SpongeBob, I change my mind. I'd much rather be a wage slave under the weight of Mr. Krabs' grimy claws than deal with Mini Squid stealing my glory for even one more minute. It's hopeless, though. I can't kick him out, especially not his entire crew. Mini Squidward won. -sobs again- : It's okay Squidward, I knew you'd come around. It's not over, though! I want to get rid of Mini Squid as much as you do, so I had to use my connections. : sniff W-what do you mean? : Oh my gosh, he's here! Look up, Squidward! : Why shoul- OH MY NEPTUNE! : Yup! He's made a full recovery! I hope Mini Squid is ready for a very special guest today. To be continued... 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BDMC Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 On 6/22/2018 at 1:00 AM, Mr. Eugene Krabs said: I’m not paying you to do stand-up, Mr. Squidward. What does that mean? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmandagiraffe Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 12 hours ago, BDMC said: What does that mean? It means he ain't giving him money to be Mr. Funnyman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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