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Love, dating, and marriage


Katniss

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How do you feel about dating, marriage, and relationships + love in general? My view on the matter is a bit complicated. It would be nice to date a guy someday (and maybe get married) but I've realized that I'm not emotionally ready for that yet. I'm still working on learning to love myself first. The thought of marriage scares me a little because how do you know you'll love the same person (and vice versa) forever? It seems to be working out for my parents, though---they've been together for 22 years. I can only hope to have a relationship as loving as theirs someday (though they're not without their disagreements at times; no couple is perfect :P). I'm a sucker for love stories and a bit of a romantic, so part of me is still holding out hope for "the one" even though I can be cynical about the topic at times. Never been in a relationship before but I'm in no rush. :Laugh: 

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relationships are weird but i think it's because i've never been very good at them. i have a pretty good relationship going now but i don't think people should let their relationships consume them and be the most important thing they have going on, because it really can end at any time and you need to have a plan if it does?

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I'm not interested in romance but from my POV from others it seems like it best works out when they have a really strong friendship and care about each other as they would with a very close family member like a son/daughter, parent. Like a sort of core of their relationship. And then all that other stuff can come into place.

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I don't believe in meeting "the one". I don't.

I'm a sucker for romantic things. Love doing them. I imagine myself with *lover* doing stuff all the time (shopping, watching movies, cuddling, sleeping, riffing haha). Gives me such a warm feeling inside saying, "I luvvv youuuuuu" to him. ;D

Love can hurt like a bitch too. It makes you think too damn much. It hurts. It absolutely hurts and it will destroy you like it had to me. I felt almost nothing, except for being scared and terrified of the world. I couldn't imagine myself recovering from all of the pain. Had all of the romantic stuff was meant to break me, it was worth it.

It's so so so fantastic that someone loves me back. I love being loved and to have someone that I could love, makes me wanna pump my fist in the air and kick a wall to show my dominance or something.

edit: omg I meant kick a wall, not lick.

Edited by Alexander Lee
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I don't know about it or if I even want it tbh. Right now I'm not a huge fan because it seems like way too much work and I don't want to sacrifice a lot for my significant other, but then yet again I do a lot to make my best friends happy so who knows. Like you said KLT, I don't feel comfortable with the idea of determining I will get along with someone for the rest of my life. I feel like everyone defines growing up as just changing during adolescence and then magically stopping changing as you hit age 30, but is that really the case? I rarely meet a couple that's 20+ years and is happy with their relationship. Y'all have pretty much said what I think on this topic lmao

6 hours ago, Katniss said:

  (though they're not without their disagreements at times; no couple is perfect :P).  

 

Hey, I'd be much more worried if they never fought honestly. Fighting is how you grow not just as a couple but with your best friends and family too. It sucks and my fights with my best friend, although occasional, were some of the worst days this year but ultimately I'm glad they happened because they changed things for the better. YOur parents sound like such goals omf.

6 hours ago, Homie❤ said:

 but i don't think people should let their relationships consume them and be the most important thing they have going on, because it really can end at any time and you need to have a plan if it does1f40c.png

2

This is toxic behavior on so many levels:

-no two people can spend time together 24/7 past the honeymoon phase. In fact, spending too much time together just makes things stale after a while and ruins the relationship (or friendship, goes with anything really)

-What if you break up? Suddenly the person you relied on is no longer there and you're lonely

-Ignoring the friends who have cared about you far before you even knew your SO is such shitty behavior. yes priorities change but anyone who can't take out a few hours per week to talk to their friends who love them are pretty selfish tbh. If someone just completely forgot about me as soon as they got a SO and then came crying to me when they broke up, I probably wouldn't evne want to deal with them tbh.

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Was in a long-distance relationship for about two months last year before breaking it off. Not really interested in finding something else unless it means something, but at the same time you sometimes feel like everyone's getting together and it stings sometimes. But I figure if it happened once, it'll happen again.

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Oh boy I know this has been a topic I haven't been the best at when it comes to the past since I have a well documented history about relationships, dating, love and what have you.

Before recently telling my girlfriend I love her, I had a hard time pinpointing what exactly love is.  To me, love is knowing your partner means a lot to you and that they feel the same back.  That they will always be there to support you through the good times and the bad.  Knowing that even though you may not be perfect, that you are happy to have the other in your life.  Not just the good times mind you, but also the bad.  And even when you don't see eye to eye, you are willing to work through said problems and not just give up and move on.  Most importantly, do you see at the very least a future.  Not automatically marriage, but just simply a future of some sort whether it be the next few years or the rest of your life.  That's what love is to me.

The most important thing about dating is confidence.  Contrary to popular belief, confidence isn’t “I know he/she likes me”. Confidence is “I’ll be okay whether he/she likes me or not.”  Self-confidence and loving yourself is huge when it comes to dating because if you aren't happy with yourself, then how are you suppose to reciprocate as to why the one you are dating should keep seeing you?

Marriage is still a long way down the line for me, but marriage is something that needs work just like a relationship.  You shouldn't marry someone unless you have a definitive long term goal to spend the rest of your life with the other.  I can't stress enough as to how immature it is for someone to not be willing to work to save something so important and so valuable.  Makes me sick tbh.

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Well I've been in 2 relationships so far with both ending abruptly (I swear I'm not making this up, my most recent one ended a couple days ago ;~;), so I haven't had the best luck with dating but hey, everyone's bound to have some duds in their dating life......no matter how much they hurt. As for love for me, the most attractive part of someone is their personality. Sure someone can have a sexy image but if they're blander than tofu, leave me out. And hey, someone's personality even has the ability to enhance a person's looks, depending on your taste of course. As for marriage, I mean I'd like to get married some day but I'm holding that thought off until I can say wholeheartedly "she is the one".

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