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4EverGreen Presents One Shot Stories


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I was going to wait until after I had finished up my current season of "Total Cartoon Global Cruise," but I want to put this idea out here on this topic forum now. I have always been interested in having a show where various people came together to discuss various different ideas that they are interested in writing, but aren't sure if they want to develop it into a full-fledged series. Well, on this series, developed in the tradition of "What a Cartoon Show!" and "Oh Yeah Cartoons!"; you can come up with pilot ideas for series that you are interested in developing, and showcase them to the reading public on this forum. I only ask three things; PLEASE keep your story to a PG rating or less, NO "Twilight" story parodies, and nothing involving Justin Bieber. Other than that, the world is your oyster; whatever THAT means! Of course, I will be coming up with my own one-shot stories as well, which will include parodies of movies, but done with characters from other established brands. So stay tuned, and have fun with this topic!

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Pissing Off 4EverGreen: The Series

Episode 1: The Only Episode

Our story begins on the night of Halloween. A masked killer is going around the streets murdering stupid teenagers in a gruesome R-rated fashion, when suddenly Justin Bieber steps in to save the day. Using his ultra super powers he morphs into a vampire/werewolf hybrid and saves Bella Swan. Bieber then unmasks the killer to reveal someone up to their usual douchebag tricks.....CAPTAIN RETRO. Zoinks. Captain Retro explains that he looked into the future and foresaw somebody breaking the rules of his One Shot thread on SBC. It enraged him so much that he put some clothes on and went out to enact revenge on society. Justin Bieber doesn't give a shit and decapitates him. The End.

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12 hours ago, Steel Sponge said:

So are we just not going to take this thread seriously? This isn't becoming chaotic or anything, but still....

I'm not going to let a few bad apples spoil this thread. I'm going to take the moral high road and rise above it.

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In honor of the upcoming live-action re-make of "Beauty and the Beast," I'm going to make my first official story be a "Total Drama" version of the Animated movie, full with Confessionals and your favorite "Total Drama" characters acting out parts in my version of the story! Expect more details to follow when I have more time and energy to dedicate to this project.

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Here is the promotional information about my upcoming version of “Beauty and the Beast,” featuring characters from the “Total Drama” series. Mainly, the cast information and the song list. I hope you enjoy it.

Narrator/Cogsworth-Noah. /      Monseuir De Arque (the Insane Asylum Owner)-Ezekiel.

Prince Adam-Geoff.       /              The Hairdresser-D.J.

Old Beggar Woman-Eva. /            The Angry Mob-Courtney, Duncan, Topher, Dave, Jacques, Josse, Taylor.

Beautiful Enchantress-Heather.

The Beast-Sasquatchanakwa (Geoff in disguise).

Belle-Bridgette. Various Townspeople/Enchanted Objects-Tyler, Izzy, Blainely, Cody, Beth, Owen, Sierra.

Book Store Owner-Harold. /       Song list:              “Belle/Bridgette.”

Gaston-Alejandro Buerromeurto.            /              “Belle/Bridgette Reprise.”

Lefou-Scott.                       /                              “Gaston/Alejandro.”

The Bimbettes-Katie, Sadie, and Lindsay. /           “Gaston/Alejandro Reprise.”

Maurice-Chris Maclean.                                /              “Be Our Guest.”

Phillippe-Ace the Donkey.           /              “There May Be Something There That Wasn’t There Before.”

Lumierre-Trent.                                /              “Beauty and the Beast.”

Footstool-The Cute Baby Seal. /                “Kill the Beast!”

Mrs. Potts-LaShawna.    /              “Beauty and the Beast (End Theme).”


Feather Duster-Gwen.

Tom, Dick, and Stanley (Gaston’s Supporters)-Justin, Max, and Mal.


The Stove-Chef Hatchet.

I hope you enjoy this little preview of what I’ve got cooking up! ;)

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I'm ready to start off my first One-Shot Story, proper! I hope you enjoy it! /

Total Drama: Beauty and the Beast

Prologue/Intro:                Noah comes on-stage and says: “Thank you audience for coming to our humble little auditorium to witness our production of Beauty and the Beast. First off, I’d like to give a big shout out to Beardo for providing the sound effects, Leonard and Tammy for their lighting effects and wonderful art design, and of course, Blainely for giving us access to her many wonderful costumes. I’d just like to state that while we WERE given permission to sing parody versions of the songs for this production, for LEGAL reasons, we had to come up with our OWN script for this story. Hopefully, you won’t notice TOO much! Anyways, we hope you enjoy watching our play; enjoy!”

Classical music plays, and Noah narrates: “Once upon a time, somewhere in 18th century France, where EVERYBODY speaks English for some reason, a Young Prince was in charge of a big, bright castle, and his parents were nowhere to be found, mainly because this is a DISNEY production! For a family-friendly company, they sure don’t have a lot of FAMILIES! Anyways, the Young Prince, named Adam, had everything a prince could want, but he was spoiled, selfish, and un-kind. He definitely wasn’t raised right, that’s for sure. Anyways, everything changed one night, when an old beggar woman came to the Prince’s Castle.”

Eva says: “Please, let me in! Give me shelter from the bitter cold, and I’ll give you this rose, in exchange!” Noah narrates: “But the Prince was repulsed by the haggard appearance of this woman.” Geoff says: “No! Be gone from my humble abode, and go plague another castle!” Eva says: “Do not be deceived by appearances. Beauty can be found within!” Geoff says: “Fie, I say! A pox on you, and a pox on ALL your relatives!” Noah narrates: “But what the Prince couldn’t know, is that the Elderly Woman was actually a Beautiful Enchantress in disguise; and she was a MASTER of changing the fates of anyone who spurned her!” Eva transforms into Heather, and Heather says: “How DARE you refuse a woman of MY stature?!” Noah narrates: “Embarrassed, the Prince DESPERATELY begged for some forgiveness!” Geoff says: “Please, PLEASE show mercy on me!” Heather says: “It’s too late! You have shown me that there is no love in your heart! As punishment, you shall be transformed into a hideous BEAST!!!!” Geoff cries: “No, NO!!!!” The lights go out, and Prince Adam is transformed into a hideous beast! Noah narrates: “In addition to placing a spell on the Prince, the Enchantress placed her spell on his entire castle, and EVERYONE who lived there. The Prince was ashamed of his hideous form, so he locked himself away in his castle. His only way of knowing what was happening in the outside world, was a Magic Mirror, sort of a predecessor to the Television. And the Rose the Enchantress had offered, was an enchanted one. The Rose was one that would bloom for ten years, until the Prince was 21. If, by that time, the Prince could learn to love another, and earn her love in return, before the rose lost all its petals, the spell would be broken. If he failed, he would be cursed to live as a beast for his whole life. As the years passed, the Beast sank further into despair, losing all sense of hope. After all, who could ever learn to love a beast? Let’s find out!” /

Act One, Scene One: Bridgette.          A young, blonde-haired woman of 18 walks out of her farm-house, and heads towards the local village. As she does, the musical stings of a song begins playing. Bridgette: “Little town, it's a quiet village, every day, like the one before. Little town, full of little people waking up to say…” Townspeople: “Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!” Bridgette: “There goes the baker with his tray, like always, the same old bread and rolls to sell. Every morning just the same since the morning that we came to this poor, provincial town.” Cody: “Good Morning, Bridgette!” Bridgette: “Morning, Monsieur!” Cody: “Where are you off to?” Bridgette: “The bookshop. I just finished the most wonderful story about a beanstalk and an ogre.” Cody: “That's nice. Anne Marie, the baguettes! Hurry up!” Townspeople: “Look, there she goes, that girl is strange, no question. Dazed and distracted, can't you tell? Never part of any crowd because her head's up on some cloud. No denying she's a funny girl, Bridgette.” Tyler: “Bonjour!” Beth: “Good day!” Tyler: “How is your family?” Taylor: “Bonjour.” Don: “Good day!” Taylor: “How’s your third wife?!” Sierra: “I need six eggs!” Izzy: “That's too expensive!” Bridgette: “There must be more than this provincial life!” Harold: “Ah, Bridgette.” Bridgette: “Good Morning. I've come to return the book I borrowed.” Harold: “Finished already?” Bridgette: “Oh, I couldn't put it down. Have you got anything new?” Harold: “Not since yesterday.” Bridgette: “That's all right. I'll borrow, this one.” Harold: “That one? But you've read it twice!” Bridgette: “Well, it's my favorite! Far off places, daring sword fights, magic spells, a prince in disguise!” Harold: “If you like it all that much, it's yours!” Bridgette: “But sir…” Harold: “I insist!” Bridgette: “Well, thank you. Thank you very much!” Townspeople: “Look there she goes, that girl is so peculiar. I wonder if she's feeling well. With a dreamy far-off look and her nose stuck in a book, she’s a puzzle to the rest of us; Bridgette!”

Bridgette: “Wow, isn't this amazing? It's my favorite part because you'll see, here's where she meets Prince Charming; but she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three.” Blainely: “Now it's no wonder that her name means ‘beauty’, her looks have got no parallel.” Owen: “But behind that fair façade, I'm afraid she's rather odd. Very different from the rest of us.” Townspeople: “Yes, nothing like the rest of us. She’s different from the rest of us, Bridgette!” Ducks can be heard flying overhead, a shot is fired and a prop duck falls down, Scott runs to catch it in a bag, but misses it. He picks it up off of the ground, and puts it in the bag, before running to a tall, dark figure. Scott: “Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Alejandro! You're the greatest hunter in the whole world!” Alejandro: “I know.” Scott: “No beast alive stands a chance against you. Ha, ha, ha, and no girl, for that matter!” Alejandro: “It's true, Scott! And I've got my sights set on that one!” And Alejandro points to Bridgette. Scott asks: “Chris Maclean’s step-daughter?” Alejandro: “She's the one, the lucky girl I'm going to marry!” Scott: “But she's…” Alejandro: “The most beautiful girl in town!” Scott: “I know, but…” Alejandro: “That makes her the BEST!!!! And don't I DESERVE the best?!” Scott: “Well, of course! I mean you do, but I don’t know that…” Alejandro: “Right from the moment when I met her, saw her, I said, she's gorgeous, and I fell! In this town, it’s only she who is beautiful as me! So I'm making plans to woo and marry her!” Katie, Sadie, and Lindsay: “Look there, he goes! Isn't he dreamy? Alejandro is just so cute! Be still my heart, I'm hardly breathing! He's such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute!” Various townspeople: “Bonjour. Pardon. Good day. You call this bacon?! What lovely grapes! Some cheese. Ten yards. One pound!” Alejandro: “Excuse me, please let me through!” Various Townspeople: “This bread, is stale. Those fish, they smell! Madame's mistaken!” Bridgette: “There must be more than this provincial life!” Alejandro: “Just watch, I'll make Bridgette my wife!” All townspeople except Bridgette and Alejandro: “Look there she goes, a girl who's strange, but special. A most peculiar mademoiselle. It's a pity and a sin, she doesn't quite fit in, because she really is a funny girl. A beauty, but a funny girl. She really is a funny girl! Bridgette! Bonjour. Bonjour. Bonjour. Bonjour.” Alejandro: “BONJOUR!!!!” Bridgette suddenly stops and turns around, only for the townspeople to disperse to go back to living their normal lives.

(Confessional) Bridgette: “That’s the story of my ‘LIFE’ in this town. It seems like every other day of every other week when I’m minding my own business, just trying to read a book that I REALLY like, there is always a bunch of people who decide to get together and sing a song that makes fun of me behind my back. Go figure!” (End Confessional) Alejandro is standing in front of Bridgette, and Alejandro says: “Good morning, Bridgette.” Bridgette doesn’t even look UP from her book and says: “Bonjour, Alejandro.” And Alejandro SNATCHES the book from her! (Confessional) Alejandro says: “Last time I checked, it was very RUDE to talk to somebody WITHOUT even looking at them!” / Bridgette says: “Last time I checked, it was very RUDE to snatch somebody’s book without even ASKING them if they could have it!” (End Confessional) Bridgette kindly, but firmly asks: “Alejandro, may I PLEASE have my book back?” Alejandro flips through the book, and asks: “How on EARTH can you READ this?! There aren’t any pictures!” Bridgette: “Well, pictures can’t compare to the scenes that I can paint in my imagination.” Alejandro throws Bridgette’s book behind him, and Alejandro says: “Bridgette, you need to get your head OUT of your books and pay attention to more important things in life! Example given, me!” And the Bimbettes sigh in adoration. (Confessional) Alejandro rolls his eyes and says: “I HAD to say something to Bridgette, okay?! I mean, this IS the 18th century, and good, respectable women in society don’t go walking around, reading books! At least, none of the women I personally know!” /

Bridgette: “You know, this attitude that Alejandro has is precisely WHY women currently don’t have the right to vote! Or even own their own property, for THAT matter!” (End Confessional) Bridgette picks up her book, and dusts it off. Alejandro says: “It’s not just me, it’s the whole town talking about you. When was the last time reading ever accomplished anything for a woman? All reading will get you is…ideas…and…thinking!” Bridgette rolls her eyes and sarcastically says: “Alejandro, you really ARE an old-fashioned thinker!” Alejandro doesn’t get the insult and says: “THANK you! Why don’t we take a stroll down to the root beer pub, and you can take a look at my latest trophies?” Bridgette says: “Maybe later, like, in my NEXT lifetime?!” (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I can tell you right now, my interest level in Alejandro is NIL! There is nothing in the WORLD that can get me interested in him! He’s lucky that I even GIVE him the time of day!” (End Confessional) Bridgette says: “My step-father needs me; I have to help him with his latest invention. Fare well!” Scott says: “What a crazy coot! He’s going to need ALL the help he can get!” Alejandro and Scott BOTH laugh at Chris’ expense, and Bridgette strongly says: “Don’t you DARE insult my step-father like that!” Alejandro SLAPS Scott, and Alejandro says: “Yeah, don’t INSULT Chris Maclean like that!” (Confessional) Alejandro fist-pumps and says: “YES!!!! I think I just scored some brownie points with Bridgette!” / Bridgette says: “AND… with THAT, Alejandro just moved from a three to a zero on my respect-o-meter. Not that anyone’s counting…BESIDES Alejandro!” (End Confessional) Bridgette firmly says: “Chris Maclean is NOT insane, he’s BRILLIANT!!!!” And an EXPLOSION is heard and SEEN at Bridgette’s house, so Bridgette quickly runs back to her place, while Scott and Alejandro resume their laughter at the expense of Chris Maclean. /

Bridgette opens the door to her cellar, and smoke comes out. Bridgette says: “Dad! Are you all right?!” Chris mumbles: “What did I do wrong THAT time?! I had it figured out!” Bridgette asks: “Did you get your calculations wrong?” Chris says: “I’m telling you, I’m almost ready to give up on this sad excuse for a…glockenspiel!!!!” And Chris kicks his steam-powered device in anger! (Confessional) Bridgette says: “My step-dad is convinced that steam power is the wave of the future, it’s going to be big! And as his daughter, by way of marriage, it’s my job to support him, no matter what.” (End Confessional) Bridgette says: “Honestly, dad, that’s the fifth time this MONTH you said that!” Chris says: “I’m practically SERIOUS this time! I won’t EVER get this thing-a-ma-jig to WORK!” Bridgette says: “Of course, you will! And you’ll get first prize AND a million dollars for it! Not to MENTION, becoming the world famous INVENTOR you’ve always wanted to be!” And Chris’ eyes light up! (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I’ve known Chris Maclean for the past 12 years of my life, and he’s been my sole provider for a whole decade, now. And the thing to getting Chris inspired, is to give Chris his number one, inspirational motivation; money and the chance for fame!” / Chris says: “I’m sure glad I married Bridgette’s mother, now. Bridgette is not just a good girl, she’s a really good motivational speaker, as well! With her encouragement, I KNOW I can prevail!” (End Confessional) Chris asks: “You really believe that, don’t you?” Bridgette says: “You know I do!” Chris gets down on the ground, and works on his machine again. Chris says: “In that case, we’ll get this thing up and running in no time! I’ll need that dog-legged wrench on the table.” And Bridgette hands him the strange tool. Chris asks: “Did anything eventful happen today in the town?” Bridgette says: “Harold gave me a new book! By the way, do you think I’m…strange?” Chris looks at her, wearing BIG, bug-eyed goggles, and asks: “My step-daughter, strange? Who would give you an insane idea like THAT?!” (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I’m sorry, but when Chris talks to me wearing those weird goggles of his, it is hard for me to take him seriously!”

(End Confessional) Bridgette sighs and says: “It’s probably just vicious rumors, anyways. Even so, I’m not sure if moving to THIS town was the right move, for us. I mean, I can’t even really TALK to anyone around here.” Chris asks: “Not even Alejandro? He’s a fine-looking specimen!” Bridgette says: “And looks are ALL he has! He’s also arrogant, and self-absorbed! I mean, I know it’s the 18th century, but; come ON!!!! I THINK that I can do a LITTLE better than HIM!” Chris Maclean finishes and gets up. Chris says: “Well, don’t you worry about a thing. Because every little thing is going to be all right! Hmm, there’s a SONG in there, somewhere! But no time to think about that now! It’s time to test my invention, and see if it works!” Chris cranks a lever, and using boiling water, it transforms into steam, which revolves a wheel, which moves an axe to chop a piece of wood, and launches it safely thirty feet to a marked X. Chris exclaims: “I DID it! Think of all the labor this will save for those hard working lumberjacks!” Bridgette says: “It’s the greatest discovery since electricity! What’s next, a cotton gin?!” Chris says: “Maybe for someone else! Let’s get this thing in the wagon and get Ace prepared. I’m going to the fair!” /

Chris is all dressed, and is riding on Ace! Bridgette says: “Good-bye, Chris! Good luck!” Chris says: “Fare well, my daughter! Take care of everything while I’m gone!” The lights dim, and the scene is discreetly taken apart and re-arranged to look like a dark, mysterious forest. /

Act One, Scene Two: The Dark Castle.          Chris Maclean is riding home with Ace, with a second place ribbon, holding an envelope with $100,000 in it. Chris says: “I can’t believe I lost out to Eli Whitney’s Cotton Gin! A COTTON Gin! Is his invention really THAT impressive?! Well, $100,000 is better than nothing. And TRUE visionaries are almost NEVER appreciated in their own time. Besides, I can use the money to send Bridgette to that fancy, American college she’s been eyeing. HOPEFULLY it’s in Canada, and not those United States I’ve been hearing about. THAT country is never going to last! Although, come to think of it, it seems like I’ve been out in these woods for a very, long time. I really should’ve gotten back, by now. Perhaps I missed a turn. It wouldn’t be the first time I…hold on, a minute!” And Chris looks at a road sign with a bunch of different directions, but the words are REALLY worn down and hard to read! Ace also looks, and begins to move, but Chris stops him! Chris says: “Hold on! It’s THIS way!” (Confessional) Ace merely shrugs his shoulders, questioning Chris’ decision. / Chris says: “If there’s one thing that automatically comes with being a GENIUS, is that we ALL have an EXCELLENT sense of direction!” (End Confessional) Ace looks down a DARK, Foggy, FOREBODING path, and turns his head to a lighter, less mysterious, less scary path. Ace TRIES to go down the lighter path, but Chris pushes him FORWARD! Chris says: “Don’t be stubborn! We’re taking a short DETOUR! We’ll get back home FASTER!” (Confessional) Chris sighs, and says: “I KNEW I should’ve gotten a thoroughbred colt but NO!!!! I just HAD to save my money for a rainy day!” / Ace merely shakes his head in frustration. (End Confessional) Ace nervously treads down the dusty, dirty path, as the wind silently blows the leaves around. But all the while, Ace can’t HELP but get the feeling that they are NOT alone, as Ace suddenly hears WOLVES howl in the distance! Chris says: “NO! This is all WRONG!!!! We shouldn’t have GONE this way! We better turn around.” But as Chris TRIES to maneuver Ace and the wagon, Ace gets jumpy as the howling from the wolves seems to be getting closer! Chris says: “Easy boy, easy! Don’t get nervous! Hold it!” (CRASH!!!!) And they back into a tree, freeing a group of bats from their nesting grounds! Chris says: “Scatter!” But Ace breaks into a FULL blown panic, and races forward at a VERY fast click! Chris says: “Slow down! Slow down, I say!!!!”

Ace DOES so, but only because there’s a SHEER drop-off just MERE inches ahead! Chris says: “Back up, back up!” Ace nervously, and quickly, backs up! Chris says: “That’s good! Just back up! Easy boy, easy, easy!” But the howling from the wolves seems to be EXTREMELY close, now, so Ace gets nervous! Chris nervously says: “Ace, please, STOP!!!!” But Ace THROWS Chris Maclean OFF of him, BREAKING his lantern in the process! And Ace makes a full-blown GALLOP out of the woods as the wolves chase behind him. (Confessional) Chris says: “Note to self; number one, not ALL Geniuses are born navigators. Number two, SERIOUSLY consider sending Ace to a Glue Factory, if I can FIND one, that is!” (End Confessional) Chris adjusts his hat and says: “This is not good.” And Chris sees some wolves (interns DRESSED as wolves) and says: “That’s even WORSE!!!!” And Chris makes a run for it! (Confessional) Chris says: “In retrospect, I shouldn’t have run from the wolves. But I was NERVOUS okay, I PANICKED! I thought I was done for, until the most AMAZING thing happened!” (End Confessional) Chris runs into a BIG metal gate, and realizes that it might mean a safe sanctuary for him! Chris shouts: “HELP! I NEED somebody! HELP! Not just ANYBODY! HELP! You KNOW I need SOMEONE! HELP!!!!” But the gate moves OPEN, and Chris quickly gets in, and SLAMS the gate on the wolves! He moves towards the front door, but drops his hat in the process. But Chris GASPS in shock at the sight he sees! A HUGE, foreboding castle, full of gargoyle statues and dark, Gothic artwork. But it starts to RAIN into a down-pour! Knowing there’s no other alternative, Chris knocks on the door, and it opens up by itself! (Confessional) Chris says: “Okay, I saw this big, dark castle in the middle of the forest, and I’m thinking to myself; ‘This place is either owned by someone very rich and nice, or someone very powerful and nasty!’ GULP! I really hope it’s the FIRST one! But what CHOICE did I have? I didn’t want to die of Pneumonia! Any shelter is better than no shelter at all, right?” (End Confessional) /

Chris walks inside the castle, only to find that it’s nowhere NEAR as dark and scary as he expected it to be, although it is UNUSUALLY quiet! Chris, questioningly says: “Bonjour?” Hearing no immediate response, Chris says louder: “BONJOUR?!” Trent quietly says: “This traveler must have gotten lost in the woods.” Noah quietly says: “Shut up! Let him go away!” Chris turns around and asks: “Is someone there?!” Noah, a life-sized, human shaped clock, turns to the human-sized candelabra, Trent. Noah quietly says: “I warn you, Trent. Not one WORD out of YOU!” Chris says: “I’m really sorry for intruding on your humble abode, but I lost my ride. I could really use a place to stay, just for a night.” Trent empathetically says: “Come on, Noah. We HAVE to help!” Noah clamps Trent’s mouth shut, but Trent uses his PROP lit candle, and Noah acts like it is BURNING his clock hands! Noah cries: “YOWCH!” Trent loudly says: “Absolutely sir, we welcome you here!” Chris asks: “Who said that?” Trent says: “Right here!” Chris asks: “Where?!” Trent waves his candle arms in front of Chris and asks: “Can you see me now?!” Chris says: “WOAH!!!!” (Confessional) Chris says: “I’ll just say this, for the record, Trent is the SECOND biggest candelabra I have ever seen!” / Trent says: “Chris Maclean was obviously a stranger. He’s obviously not familiar with how enchanted castles work. With that being the case, I took it upon myself to educate him.” (End Confessional) Chris says: “You’re AMAZING!” Noah says: “You’ve REALLY done it THIS time, haven’t you Trent?! How long do you think it will be before the Master finds out about THIS?!” Chris holds Noah, and Chris asks: “How on Earth do you move?!” (Confessional) Noah says: “I despise being held like some common toy. It’s very demeaning to my self-esteem, and I don’t have a LOT of it!” / Chris says: “I was CURIOUS, okay?! Cut me some slack!” (End Confessional) Noah scolds, and says: “Stop it, stop messing with me RIGHT now, my clock hands are NOT a toy! Cease, and desist!”

Chris says: “Forgive me, kind sir…clock, I have just never seen a clock that could…that could…AH-CHOO!!!!” (Confessional) Noah says: “I also despise having people sneeze RIGHT in my face! It’s a good thing I’m a clock, or else I’d have to WORRY about my health!” / Chris blows his nose into a tissue, and says: “Note to self, castle dust is NOT the best thing for a sensitive nose.” (End Confessional) Trent says: “You POOR man! You’re drenched to the bone! Please, come sit, and warm yourself by the fire.” Chris says: “That sounds delightful.” Sasquatchanakwa SEES this development from above, and moves through the shadows! Noah says: “No! No; bad idea, NO! Just think about what our Master might do IF he FINDS this stranger HERE! PLEASE! Stop this insanity NOW!!!!” (Confessional) Noah says: “My master, is NOT exactly the kindest to STRANGERS! After all, it was a stranger that CAUSED his current condition, so to speak, so you can understand WHY I was trying to avoid an ugly scene.” / Trent says: “I was thinking, in the back of my head; that maybe tonight would be different. Maybe our Master would be understanding, and empathetic of Chris Maclean’s plight. I was REALLY hoping it would be different!” (End Confessional) Noah, worrying, says: “No, please NO! Don’t sit in the Master’s CHAIR!!!!” And the seal foot-stool, excitedly comes to comfort Chris! Noah says: “This isn’t happening! This is NOT happening!” Chris says: “You’re a cute little, foot-stool seal!” D.J. comes in, and puts a nice, comfy blanket around Chris. Chris contentedly says: “Now THIS is the LIFE!” (Confessional) Chris says: “I LOVE being pampered, okay? So sue me! Is it WRONG to want to be pampered ONCE in a while? We can’t ALL live in nice, fancy castles every day, okay? I just wanted to see how the OTHER half lives! It’s FABULOUS!” / Noah seriously says: “It seems that when you become a clock, you lose ALL of your abilities to make OTHER people and/or Enchanted Objects take you SERIOUSLY! It’s a little insulting, to be honest.” (End Confessional)

Noah says: “All right! I’m putting my foot down! The Master put ME in charge down here…WOAH!!!!” And LaShawna and Cameron run right past him. LaShawna asks: “Would you like some nice, piping hot, warm, delicious tea? It’s the perfect thing to heat up the bones AND the soul!” Noah seriously says: “Not the tea! Put AWAY the tea!” Chris drinks out of Cameron, and Cameron says: “He has a Five O’clock shadow, LaShawna!” Chris asks: “A Five O’clock shadow? Hi!” (SLAM!!!!) The Room quickly darkens, and the fire goes out! Cameron quickly hides behind LaShawna, as LaShawna shivers in fear! Cameron says: “This is BAD!!!!” (Confessional) Cameron says: “Statistically speaking, I might be the YOUNGEST and SMALLEST object in the entire household, but even I know better than to get on the Master’s BAD side! And believe me, it’s pretty big!” / Chris says: “Next time, I’m letting my STUNT double do the scary scenes!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa walks in, filling the room with his large, foreboding presence. Sasquatchanakwa says: “You let a STRANGER in here!” Trent quickly says: “Please, let me explain! That poor man was lost in the forest! He was cold and wet, so I thought…” Sasquatchanakwa roars: “NO!!!!” (Confessional) Trent says: “Okay, so THAT didn’t work! Maybe Noah will have better luck!” (End Confessional) Noah calmly says: “Master, I can EXPLAIN all of this.” Than Noah gets all accusatory and says: “It was absolutely all THEIR fault! They went against me, and I tried to stop them! But would they listen to ME?! Not on their LIFE!” Sasquatchanakwa roars: “STOP!!!!” (Confessional) Trent says: “Then again, Noah could try to scapegoat the REST of us and try to save himself like he ALWAYS does!” / Noah rolls his eyes and says: “Of COURSE I tried to save myself, all right! It was either THEM, or ME! And I find myself WAY too valuable to be a victim of my Master’s Wrath!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa TURNS to Chris, and Chris is very FRIGHTENED of him!

Sasquatchanakwa asks: “Who are you?! What BUSINESS do you have here?!” Chris meekly says: “I was merely lost in the forest; so…” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I don’t WANT you here!” Chris quickly says: “I’m sorry!” Sasquatchanakwa gets accusatory and asks: “What are you LOOKING at?!” Chris says: “I’m looking at nothing!” Sasquatchanakwa angrily says: “So you decided to break into my home and stare at Sasquatchanakwa, didn’t YOU?!” Chris nervously says: “Please! It’s not like that at all! I just wanted a place to STAY!” Sasquatchanakwa firmly says: “Oh, YOU’LL have a place to STAY, PERMANENTLY!!!! Chris says: “Not that! Not THAT! ANYTHING but THAT!!!!” And Sasquatchanakwa SHOVES Chris into a dark room, and the lights darken on the dark scene. /

I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now. ;)


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Here is Act Two of my first One-Shot Story! And ignore the different text formats, there's absolutely nothing I can do about that. Enjoy!

Total Drama: Beauty and the Beast

Act Two, Scene One: The Ruined Wedding.               Alejandro and a group of people, are grouped together near Bridgette’s house, and the scene is VERY festive! Scott says: “Bridgette is about to get the surprise of her life, isn’t she Alejandro?!” Alejandro says: “No doubt about it! This is BOTH of our LUCKY days!” (Confessional) Scott says: “It wasn’t easy to set a wedding party up for Bridgette without her DISCOVERING about it! I had to send out the invitations in secret, hire the caterers discreetly, put together a good band, but anything worth doing is worth DOING for Alejandro! He’s my hero!” / Alejandro says: “By 18th century standards, it is almost IMPOSSIBLE for Bridgette to do BETTER than me! She can’t POSSIBLY say no!” (End Confessional) Alejandro says: “First off, I thank you all for coming, and for grouping ALL of our respective presents in alphabetical order! I guess all that’s left to do is…propose to the bride!” All the townspeople laugh, except for Katie, Sadie, and Lindsay, who sob hysterically! Alejandro says: “Don’t forget Scott, once Bridgette and I come out that door…” Scott says: “I know! I’ll strike up the band!” And a polka band begins playing “Here Comes the Bride,” very, VERY badly! Alejandro yells: “AFTER we come out!” Scott says: “Sorry!” (Confessional) Alejandro says: “Since this is the 18th century and this can’t POSSIBLY have been said yet, I can safely say, I am SURROUNDED by IDIOTS, and I don’t have to worry about getting SUED!” (End Confessional) Alejandro knocks on the front door. Bridgette stops reading her book, and looks through the peephole. Bridgette groans when she sees Alejandro. (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I had no idea what Alejandro wants today, but as a properly educated girl of substantial status in the 18th century, it would be very rude of me, and furthermore, frowned upon, if I refused to hear what Alejandro wanted to say. Besides, it’s good karma to be nice to others, even if they aren’t necessarily THAT nice to you!” (End Confessional) Bridgette opens the door, and Alejandro walks in. Bridgette says: “Bonjour, Alejandro. What business do you have at my humble abode?” Alejandro says: “Today is not just about me, my fair mademoiselle. After all, you’re practically the envy of every single girl LIVING in this town today. Today is the day, that every one of your dreams, come true!” Bridgette asks: “And what, might I ask, do you KNOW about my dreams?” Alejandro says: “A lot! Here’s the scene; a comfy, hunting cabin, my latest carcass roasting on the fire, and a PRETTY wife to massage my back. While the little ones play on the floor with the dogs. I want FOUR or FIVE at the very least!” Bridgette asks: “Canines?” Alejandro says: “No, Bridgette! Big strong boys, like me!” Bridgette says: “You have SOME imagination!” Alejandro says: “And can you guess WHO my pretty wife is?!” And Bridgette FREEZES in her tracks! (Confessional) Bridgette says: “If Alejandro tells me what I think he’s about to tell me, I will ROYALLY freak out!” / Alejandro says: “It’s all about setting the right mood. And if anyone can paint a picture as PRETTY as me, it’s ME!” (End Confessional) Bridgette asks: “Can I THINK about it for a bit?!” Alejandro answers: “It’s ME, of course!”

(Confessional) Bridgette screams: “AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I just HAD to get that out of my system!” / Alejandro confidently says: “Yep! She definitely wants me! But then again, who WOULDN’T?!” (End Confessional) Bridgette coyly says: “Alejandro, I’m practically BREATHLESS! What am I supposed to say?!” Alejandro romantically says: “Say you’ll be my wife.” Alejandro closes his eyes and prepares to kiss. Bridgette reaches for the door knob, and prepares to open it. Bridgette says: “Well, don’t take this the wrong way, but, your standards just aren’t MY standards!” And Bridgette OPENS the door, causing Alejandro to STUMBLE forward, and FALL on the dirty ground! The polka band is once again playing “Here Comes the Bride” VERY badly, and Bridgette SLAMS the front door in victory! Scott eventually looks, and realizes Alejandro is on the ground, WITHOUT Bridgette. Scott asks: “So, what did she say?!” Alejandro, very ANGRILY, grabs Scott by the neck, and Alejandro angrily says: “Mark my WORDS, Bridgette WILL be my WIFE! I will not be REFUSED by my BRIDE!!!!” And Alejandro THROWS Scott down to the dirty ground! (Confessional) Scott says: “Someone SERIOUSLY needs to get some Anger Management sessions scheduled in! And by ‘someone’, I obviously mean Alejandro!” (End Confessional) Scott gets up and says: “Sounds like someone is very SENSITIVE about the subject, if you ask me!” As Alejandro leaves the setting, wiping himself clean, the rest of the Townspeople disperse. When the noise dies down, Bridgette peeks out of her house to look around. Bridgette asks the audience:Is he gone? Can you imagine?! He asked me to marry him. Me! The wife of that boorish, brainless!” Bridgette sings: “Madame Buerromeurto! Can't you just see it? Madame Buerromeurto! His ‘pretty wife.’ No sir! Not me! I guarantee it! I want much more than this provincial life! (Orchestra solo) I want adventure in the great wide somewhere, I want it more than I can tell. And for once it might be grand, to have someone understand, I want so much more than they've got planned.” And as soon as she finishes her song, Ace comes running into the scene, pulling the invention with the second place ribbon, but no Chris Maclean RIDING him! And Ace neighs nervously! (Confessional) Bridgette says: “Of course, when I SAW Ace arrive without my Step-dad, I knew that there MUST be something wrong! Ace is very loyal and would NEVER ditch ANYONE unless he had a good reason! Ace is VERY reliable!” / Ace blushes in response to Bridgette’s statement. (End Confessional) Bridgette asks: “What happened to you? Is my father okay? Wait, you don’t need to answer, I can’t understand you anyways. You have to take me to find Chris Maclean!” Bridgette unhooks the invention from Ace, so he can travel faster. Bridgette gets dressed for the elements, and saddles herself onto Ace. Bridgette says: “All right, boy! Let’s go rescue my father!” /

Act Two, Scene Two: Arrival/Departure.        Bridgette, riding on Ace, arrives at the Dark Castle. Although it is not raining, the scene is still ominous. Bridgette asks: “You’ve taken me here? What is my dad doing here?” Of course, Ace is very jumpy at the sight of this place. Thankfully, Bridgette is a MUCH better horse rider than Chris is! Bridgette says: “Easy, boy! Easy! It’s going to be all right. Let’s get you inside the gate, and I’ll be out as soon as possible!” Bridgette opens the gate, and once they are safely inside, she closes it behind her. She GASPS when she sees Chris’ hat on the ground. (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I KNOW my step-dad, okay?! And he would never go ANYWHERE without a hat, unless it was out of fashion! Dad HAS to be inside! I don’t know who lives in the castle, but I’ve got to save my Dad, no matter what!” (End Confessional)

The action shifts inside the castle, as Bridgette opens the big doors, but there’s no one there to greet her. Bridgette asks: “Bonjour? Is anyone home?!” Hearing no immediate response, she decides to walk through the castle. Bridgette calls out: “Chris! Chris Maclean, are you here?!” Cameron runs up to LaShawna, and he says: “You’re not going to believe this! There’s a lady in the castle!” LaShawna says: “Obviously, there are PLENTY of female servants who work for our master BESIDES me, you know!” Cameron says: “You don’t get it! I’m talking about a HUMAN girl!” LaShawna says: “Don’t tell me tall tales! Go clean yourself up!” Gwen rushes in and says: “You’re not going to believe this! I saw a human lady in the CASTLE!” Cameron asks: “Do you believe me NOW?!” (Confessional) LaShawna says: “Okay! So Cameron was actually RIGHT about something for once! Give me a break, I’m only a TEAPOT, you know!” / Cameron says: “LaShawna STILL treats me like a kid! I’m practically 14 now! I THINK I’m old enough to be taken seriously!” / Gwen says: “I’m intrigued by our new guest! I think she’s going to really liven up the place! I can already feel the SPARKS in the air!” (End Confessional)

Noah is STILL reading Trent the Riot Act! Noah sarcastically says: “It should have been SO simple! But was it? Oh, NO!!!! You took him IN, didn’t you?! Sit him by the fire-place, petting the seal, warm tea!” Trent rolls his eyes and says: “I was TRYING to show a little human compassion! Just because I’m a candelabra, doesn’t mean that I can’t HAVE any human compassion!” (Confessional) Noah says: “I have VERY simple wants, okay? I don’t WANT to have to deal with any complications in this castle; not unless it’s going to develop into something good, okay? If a human EVER enters into our castle again, highly doubtful, I want it to actually turn INTO something!” / Trent says: “Okay, someone SERIOUSLY didn’t HUG Noah enough as a child! I’d do it, but my hands are currently lit candles, so I’m at of a bit of an impasse right now, unfortunately!” (End Confessional) Noah says: “Just admit it! You messed up!” And Trent starts to MOCK Noah. Noah says: “You’re nothing but a care-free, waxed-up, sloppy…” Bridgette shouts: “Father?!” And she walks right PAST their arguing spot! Trent asks: “Is that what I THINK it is?!” Noah says: “I sure HOPE so!” They check her out again and Trent says: “A human woman!” Noah sarcastically says: “Oh, sure! Say that as if I’ve NEVER actually SEEN one, before!” Trent asks: “You know what this means, don’t you? The prophecy is going to be fulfilled! She can free us from this magic! Perhaps I can help free her father!” And Trent discreetly walks after Bridgette! (Confessional) Noah asks: “Seriously, why does everyone always ASSUME that I don’t KNOW anything about GIRLS?! It’s a little insulting and degrading to my self-esteem, to be honest. I sure hope Trent knows what he’s DOING, for ONCE!” / Trent says: “I’m a romantic at heart. And as such, I consider it my duty to make a love connection happen! Some say the course of love doesn’t run smoothly, but you can’t expect to find true love without getting a little wet! And I’ll risk getting wet if it means helping to break the spell!” (End Confessional) Bridgette shouts: “Father!” She hears Trent OPEN a door behind her, and she asks: “Is that you?” She walks through it, and asks: “Father?” And she sees the candles on Trent going up some stairs. Bridgette shouts: “Excuse me! I’m looking for my dad, and I’m wondering…” But as she walks up the stairs, she can’t FIND any PERSON in sight, as Trent is PRETENDING to be inanimate. Bridgette says: “That’s strange. There SHOULD be someone here. Is there anyone here?” Chris asks: “My daughter?” Bridgette shouts: “Chris!” And she runs to meet Chris, who’s shut behind a barred door.

Chris says: “I just KNEW you would come for me! COUGH, COUGH! This tower isn’t the best place to spend a night!” (Confessional) Bridgette says: “It’s a good thing I found my father when I did; I SHUDDER to think what would’ve happened if I hadn’t have been there to get him!” / Chris says: “On the one hand, I was GLAD to see my daughter again! On the other hand, I was worried, mainly about the strange creature! It almost doesn’t matter what happens to me at this point, but I don’t want my daughter getting HURT! I really LOVE Bridgette, a LOT! I’m really fond of her as a person, and there aren’t too many people out there that I feel fond for.” (End Confessional) Bridgette shivers and says: “You’re as cold as ice! Where are the keys? Tell me how to free you!” Chris says: “It’s unimportant now. You’ve got to get away from here!” Bridgette asks: “Why is that? Who’s responsible for this?” Chris says: “There’s not a lot of time! Please leave, NOW!” Bridgette says: “I WON’T abandon you!” Sasquatchanakwa GRABS Bridgette, and she DROPS her lit torch in shock, and it extinguishes! Sasquatchanakwa asks: “What do you think you’re doing?!” Chris says: “Save yourself!” (Confessional) Bridgette says: “So there I was, in the dark, and this BIG, strong guy seems to be guarding the place. I think he’s the one who put my Father away. But what could anyone possibly have against Chris Maclean. I mean, SURE, my Dad’s not perfect! But who IS? Perhaps I can REASON with him!” / Chris says: “Call it a hunch, but I don’t think Sasquatchanakwa is the type of guy/creature you can really reason with. I REALLY hope I’m wrong, for once!” (End Confessional) In the darkness, Bridgette tries to find her bearings. Bridgette asks: “Who, or more importantly, what are you?!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I’m the owner of this place. This is my castle. Everything here belongs to me.” Bridgette says: “I ask that you release my father. Please let him go! He’s starting to get sick!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “Excuse me, but he TRESPASSED on MY property!” Bridgette says: “But he didn’t MEAN to! Please, I would DO anything!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I don’t see what you can do. What do you have to offer me?” (Confessional)

Bridgette says: “I may have only one chance to save my dad, even if that means making a sacrifice on my own part. It’s not a pleasant thought, but it’s better than letting my Dad FREEZE to death in a cold, dark tower!” (End Confessional) Bridgette says: “I offer myself! An exchange! My father’s freedom, and I’ll take his place! No questions asked! Is it a deal?” And Sasquatchanakwa STOPS in sheer amazement! (Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa says: “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen any real kindness from a human, I almost forgot what it looks like. Is she the one I’ve been waiting for? I have to take the chance. If I don’t, I’ll live the rest of my life like this, and that’s not exactly a thrilling prospect in my mind.” / Chris says: “I appreciate a gesture as much as the next person, but I don’t want my daughter to SACRIFICE herself! There’s GOT to be ANOTHER way!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa asks: “You’re willing to take his place?” Chris says: “I’ve got $100,000! One time offer, you take it, and you’ll never have to see us again!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I don’t WANT your money!” Bridgette asks: “If I take Chris’ place, will you free him, forever?” Sasquatchanakwa says: “Of course. But you must understand something, you will have to agree to live here in perpetuity. Now, and forever more, you will never leave this castle again.” (Confessional) Bridgette sighs and says: “I expected this. I’m not happy about it, but I expected this. It would mean my father’s freedom. But there’s something I want to know, first.” (End Confessional) Bridgette sees a beam of light, coming from an open window. Bridgette asks: “May I please see your face, first?” And reluctantly, Sasquatchanakwa steps into the light.

And despite her bravery, Bridgette can’t help but gasp in half-shock and half-fear when she SEES what Sasquatchanakwa truly looks like! (Confessional) Bridgette gasps and she says: “I…NEVER imagined!” (End Confessional) Chris Maclean says: “Bridgette, you DON’T have to DO this!” But seeing no alternative, Bridgette sighs, and says: “You have a deal.” Sasquatchanakwa says: “DEAL!” And he opens the door, freeing Chris Maclean. Chris quickly says: “You STILL have a full life ahead of you! There’s STILL a chance to change your mind!” And Sasquatchanakwa GRABS Chris Maclean, and takes him outside! Bridgette says: “Hold it!” Chris shouts: “Bridgette!” Bridgette yells: “HOLD IT!!!!” Outside, Chris turns to Sasquatchanakwa, and Chris asks: “Please, reconsider! I’ll get you whatever your heart desires!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I have what I want!” And Sasquatchanakwa puts Chris into a HORSELESS carriage! Sasquatchanakwa says: “Take him to the nearest town!” Chris shouts: “Let me out! Please, let me go! Let me go! Now! Now!” And the Horseless carriage takes him off-stage. Sasquatchankwa walks back inside, and Trent hops in front of him. Trent asks: “May I have a moment of your time?” Sasquatchanakwa asks: “Why?!” Trent says: “Obviously, Bridgette is going to be living here now, and I think it would be a nice, kind, gesture, to give her a room that’s slightly more comfortable!” Sasquatchankwa merely growls in anger. Trent says: “Or not! It’s YOUR life!” (Confessional) Trent says: “Far be it for ME to make a suggestion!” / Sasquatchanakwa angrily says: “NOBODY tells ME what to DO!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa walks back to Bridgette, and she says: “I can’t believe you! He’s the only dad I have, and I couldn’t even tell him good-bye! I probably won’t ever see him again in my life!” Sasquatchanakwa feels guilty, and says: “Come on, I’ll take you to your room.” Bridgette asks: “I get a room?” Sasquatchanakwa asks: “Do you really WANT to stay in the tower?” Bridgette says: “Of course not.” Sasquatchanakwa says: “Then come with me.” (Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa says: “Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t STAND to see a pretty girl cry. Giving her a comfortable room is a SMALL price to pay in order to keep her on pleasant terms with me.” / Bridgette says: “I’m not one to play the guilt trip card, that’s just not me. When I cry, I cry for real. There are no crocodile tears from me.” (End Confessional) Saquatchanakwa is holding Trent, lighting the way through the dimly lit castle, Bridgette looks around, but she feels slightly afraid of all the gargoyle statues, and sheds a tear out of desperate longing. Trent whispers: “Talk to her.” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I hope you enjoy your stay here.” Trent whispers: “A little more.” Sasquatchanakwa firmly says: “My house is your house now. You’re free to go to ANY room you want EXCEPT for the West Wing.” Bridgette asks: “Why? What’s in there?” Sasquatchanakwa shouts: “It’s OFF limits!” And the conversation abruptly ends.

(Confessional) Bridgette says: “Okay, I REALLY didn’t get my question answered!” / Sasquatchanakwa says: “The West Wing is MY personal quarters, okay?! It’s the only place I can escape for solitude from everything that LIVES in my castle!” (End Confessional) Eventually, Sasquatchanakwa leads Bridgette to a very cozy room. Sasquatchanakwa says: “If there’s anything you need, there are plenty of servants around the place who can help you.” Trent whispers: “A banquet! A banquet would be the PERFECT ice-breaker!” Sasquatchanakwa firmly says: “You WILL come to a dinner banquet tonight! That’s NON-NEGOTIABLE!!!!” And Sasquatchanakwa shuts the door! Bridgette can’t hold her sadness in any longer, and she collapses on the bed and cries her heart out. / End of Second Sequence and fade to black. / I’ll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now! ;)

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Here is Act Three of my first "One-Shot Story," which is "Total Drama: Beauty and the Beast!" I hope you enjoy it! /

Total Drama: Beauty and the Beast

Act Three, Scene One: Alejandro.       The scene opens up on a wintery night, the snow is starting to blow through the village, and most of the Townspeople are at the local Root Beer pub, including Alejandro, who is busy nursing his BRUISED ego over Bridgette’s earlier rejection of HIM! Alejandro asks: “Can you believe that she refused me?! Of ALL the people in the town she had the opportunity to turn down, and she rejects ME?! Nobody EVER turns me DOWN!!!!” Scott says: “Oh, I hear you there!” Alejandro says: “And to ADD insult to injury, she does it in BROAD daylight, in front of ALL my friends and acquaintances! That wedding was supposed to be the HAPPIEST day of my LIFE; and she totally HUMILIATED me! I’m almost ASHAMED to call myself a MAN!!!!” Scott asks: “Want to drown your sorrows in some more root beer?” Alejandro dejectedly asks: “What’s the point? All my trophies can’t hurt the PAIN I feel inside! I’m a mere SHELL of my former self!” Scott says: “That’s not the Alejandro I personally know! The Alejandro I personally know, ALWAYS finds a way to cheer up, and pull himself back up off of the ground!”

(Confessional) Scott says: “I find out that when Alejandro gets down on himself, a good song exploring his virtues ALWAYS puts him into a good mood again. Luckily, I can always count on a good set of Alejandro’s supporters, to help me out in my efforts!” (End Confessional) And a musical song begins. / Scott: “Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Alejandro, looking so down in the dumps. Every guy here'd love to be you, Alejandro, even when taking your lumps! There's no man in town as admired as you, you're everyone's favorite guy. Everyone's awed and inspired by you, and it's not very hard to see why!” And the Bimbettes sigh in admiration. Scott: “No one's slick as Alejandro, no one's quick as Alejandro. No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Alejandro! For there's no man in town half as manly; perfect, a pure paragon! You can ask any Max, Mal, or Justin, and they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!” Justin, Mal, Max, and Scott: “No one's, been like Alejandro, a king pin like Alejandro! No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Alejandro!” Alejandro: “As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!” Townspeople: “My, what a guy, Alejandro! Give five hurrahs! Give twelve hip-hips! Alejandro’s the best, and the rest is all drips! No one, fights like Alejandro, douses lights like Alejandro!” Mal: “In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Alejandro!” Katie, Sadie, and Lindsay: “For there's no one as burly and brawny!” Alejandro: “As you see, I've got biceps to spare!” Scott: “Not a bit of him, is scraggly or scrawny!” Alejandro: “That's right! And everyone knows of my perfect black hair!” Townspeople: “No one hits like Alejandro! Matches wits like Alejandro! In a spitting match, nobody spits like Alejandro!” Alejandro: “I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptooey!” Townspeople: “Ten points for Alejandro!” Alejandro: “When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs, every morning to help me get large! And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a barge!” Townspeople: “No one shoots like Alejandro, makes those beauts like Alejandro!” Scott: “Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Alejandro!” Alejandro: “I use antlers in all of my decorating!” Townspeople: “My, what a guy! Alejandro!!!!” /

And the epic song ends, and everyone shares a good laugh! (Confessional) Alejandro says: “This is one of the reasons Scott is my best friend; he always knows how to pick me up. I have a lot to be proud of! It’s possible that Bridgette just needs to realize how LIMITED her options truly are, especially in the 18th century! There’s like, only a BILLION people living on the planet! Who could be BETTER than ME?!” / Scott says: “I thought Alejandro was about all ready to give up on Bridgette. But then, the STRANGEST thing happened at the Pub!” (End Confessional) Chris Maclean bursts in, covered with snow, but looking BETTER than he did at the Beast’s castle! Chris shouts: “Emergency!!!!” Blainely asks: “Is THAT Chris?!” Chris says: “This is NO time to be idle! I need help! He has her LOCKED in his tower!” Tyler asks: “Who?” Chris says: “My daughter, Bridgette! We have no time to WASTE!!!!” Alejandro says: “Explain yourself! Who would LOCK Bridgette up in a tower, anyways?!” Chris says: “He calls himself Sasquatchanakwa! He’s a big, hairy, ape-like BEAST!!!!” All the townspeople look at him, and LAUGH him off, thinking that he’s telling a GREAT, BIG, joke! (Confessional) Scott says: “I always THOUGHT Chris Maclean was eccentric, but now he’s proven it! Come on! You would THINK he could make up a more BELIEVEABLE name than THAT!!!!” / Chris blushes, and he says: “Okay, I REALLY didn’t think my approach to the situation better, but how could I?! I’m in a big PANIC!!!! This is my DAUGHTER we’re talking about! What’s going to happen to Bridgette is she’s left in that castle?! Probably nothing good, is MY guess!” (End Confessional)

Chris looks helpless in the pub, and Justin asks: “Was he a HUGE beast?!” Chris says: “Very big!” Max asks: “Did he have a long, UGLY muzzle?!” Chris says: “Very unsettling!” Mal asks: “And did he have SHARP, VICIOUS teeth?!” Chris says: “You’ve got the picture! Will you assist me?!” Alejandro smiles, and says: “GLADLY! We’ll ‘assist’ you, on your way!” Mal and Justin grab Chris, and escort him to the door! Chris says: “I just KNEW you guys would help ME!!!!” And Justin and Mal THROW Chris out into the COLD snow! (Confessional) Chris sputters, as he coughs out the snow! Chris sarcastically says: “NICE!!!! REALLY nice! Now that’s the LAST time I ask help from THOSE ‘friends!’ The gratitude I get is SO lacking!” (End Confessional) Justin says: “What a deranged lunatic!” Mal says: “He always makes me laugh!” Alejandro THINKS about it, and says: “Deranged lunatic, Chris Maclean? A DERANGED lunatic, Chris Maclean!” And the song starts up again! / Alejandro: “Scott, I'm afraid I've been thinking!” Scott: “A dangerous pastime.” Alejandro: “I know. But that whacky old coot, is Bridgette's father, And his sanity's only so-so. Now the wheels in my head have been turning, since I looked at that loony, old man. See, I've promised myself I'd be married to Bridgette, and right now, I'm evolving a plan!” Alejandro whispers: “If I...” Scott: “Yes?” Alejandro: “Then we...” Scott: “No! Would she...?” Alejandro: “Guess!” Scott: “Now I get it!” Both: “Let's go! No one plots like Alejandro!” Alejandro: “Takes cheap shots like Alejandro!” Scott: “Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Alejandro!” Alejandro: “Yes, I'm endlessly, wildly resourceful!” Scott: “As down to the depths you descend!” Alejandro: “I won't even be mildly remorseful! Just as long as I get what I want in the end! Who has brains like Alejandro?!” Scott: “Entertains like Alejandro?” Both: “Who can make up these endless refrains like Alejandro?!” Townspeople: “And his marriage we soon will be celebrating! My, what a guy, Alejandro!” / And the song ends for good! / Chris Maclean stands outside of the pub, and shouts: “Will ANYBODY assist me?!” Waits for a while, and hears no answer. Chris sarcastically says: “I guess THAT’S a big, FAT, NO!” / The lights dim, and the scenery changes for the next scene. /

Act Three, Scene Two: An Explosive Temper!            The action focuses back in the castle. Bridgette is still crying on the bed, until she hears a knock on the door. Bridgette asks: “Who’s out there?” LaShawna says: “Good old, LaShawna, with some warm tea.” Bridgette opens the door, and is SURPRISED to see common, household objects, walking and TALKING to her! LaShawna says: “My mother always told me, that NOTHING cures the blues like a nice cup of tea!” Bridgette is startled and says: “You’re WALKING!!!! You’re TALKING!!!!” And she BACKS into a tall wardrobe! Jasmine says: “Be careful! I have feelings TOO, you know!” Bridgette says: “Sorry; this is just a LOT to take in! I mean, how is this even possible?” Jasmine says: “To be honest, we’re not even REALLY sure, ourselves! But, as long as we’re all here, we might as well make the BEST of things!” (Confessional) Bridgette says: “Now that I know that I won’t have to be completely alone while I live in this castle, it makes my situation SLIGHTLY better. Of course, it doesn’t erase the emptiness I feel. I wish I knew that my father was all right, than everything would be okay.” / LaShawna says: “I consider myself to have the most emotional, and intellectual maturity of anybody LIVING in this castle! I’m also one of the FEW who LIVE in this castle who’s willing to stand up to the master! He might talk a big game, but you stand tough and strong, and he is left with nothing! I’m going to take Bridgette under my wing, because girls have got to look out for each other in the 18th century!” /

Jasmine says: “Bridgette’s bravery is SURE inspiring! I’m sure she will serve as an inspiration for MANY girls in the centuries to come!” (End Confessional) Cameron asks: “Isn’t she’s everything I described her to be?!” LaShawna says: “Pretty and brave, that definitely describes her. Now please don’t squirm while Bridgette drinks out of you.” Cameron sighs and says: “Okay!” (Confessional) Cameron says: “I may have been a cup for ten years, but I will NEVER get used to people drinking out of me!” (End Confessional) LaShawna says: “It was really unexpected for us to see the sacrifice you made for your father.” Jasmine says: “We’re really touched by it!” Bridgette sniffles, and says: “That’s nice, but my FATHER is gone! Not to mention all the dreams I had. It’s…not an easy life to get used to.” LaShawna says: “I know it’s hard at the beginning. But it will get better with time. You’ve got US to talk to for whatever you need!” Cameron says: “LaShawna, we’ve got to get downstairs to prepare!” LaShawna says: “That’s right! We have that BANQUET to prepare! Let’s go!” LaShawna hops out, and Cameron says: “See you later!” And Cameron follows LaShawna. Jasmine says: “Now that we’re alone, how about I suggest a change of wardrobe?! I’ve got DOZENS of dresses in here that I’ve been wanting to see!” Jasmine opens herself up, and a bunch of DUST blows out! Jasmine says: “WHOOPS!!!! Sorry about that! That’s just ten years of dust in me. My bad!” (Confessional) Jasmine says: “Come on! It’s not like I have PEOPLE who look at my dresses every day! I know that Sasquatchanakwa NEVER wants to look at MY dresses!” (End Confessional) Jasmine shakes herself, and gets rid of the dust. Jasmine says: “That’s better! I have a LOVELY green ensemble that will turn HEADS in this castle!” And Jasmine shows Bridgette a very PRETTY, green dress! Bridgette says: “If it’s all the same to you, I’m going to SKIP the dinner!” Jasmine asks: “Are you NUTS?! The Master has an EXPLOSIVE temper! And you’re not EXACTLY in a BARGAINING position OVER him at the moment! PLEASE, reconsider!” (Confessional)

Jasmine says: “I personally NEVER want to see our master in a BAD mood, because when HE’S in a bad mood, EVERYTHING in our castle KNOWS about it, and it just makes everything feel REALLY ugly! And the castle does not LOOK good or FEEL good when it is UGLY!!!!” / Bridgette says: “Under normal circumstances, I’m ALWAYS up for a nice dinner! But seeing as how I have to LIVE here against my WILL, without access to my father or my dreams, this is definitely NOT normal circumstances!” (End Confessional) Noah walks in and says: “Pardon me, girls; the banquet is all READY for you!” / The action shifts downstairs, where Sasquatchanakwa is anticipating Bridgette’s arrival. Sasquatchanakwa asks: “How long does it take a girl to get changed?! She KNOWS that I’m expecting her! WHY hasn’t she COME?!” LaShawna says: “Try to have some empathy, sir. You DID take away the girl’s freedom, and you sent her father away.” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I didn’t technically TAKE the girl’s freedom away, she willingly gave it up so I would release her father!” LaShawna says: “That’s technically NOT the point I was TRYING to MAKE, sire!” Trent says: “I THINK what LaShawna is TRYING to say is, have you thought about letting THIS girl be the one who breaks this spell?” Sasquatchanakwa says: “Obviously! I’m NOT stupid!” (Confessional) LaShawna says: “Confidentially speaking, I have NEVER been worried about the Master’s intelligence; I’m MORE worried about his tendency to fly off the handle when things DON’T go his way!” / Sasquatchanakwa says: “Come ON!!!! It’s not like I’m ASKING to perform open HEART surgery on the girl! I just WANT to her to come to a banquet! Is that too much to ASK?!” /

Trent says: “YES!!!! The master WANTS to be in love! And everyone knows that LOVE is just a romantic interest between two different people! And if ONE of them already wants to BE in love, than half of the battle is already won! That doesn’t make the other half any easier, but it DOES make the other half more obtainable!” (End Confessional) Trent says: “This banquet is the PERFECT place to talk! Find out your common interests, a little music and the right lighting, and the romance will take full bloom! The spell will be broken, and we might even be NORMAL again before midnight!” LaShawna says: “That’s NOT a realistic approach to LOVE, Trent! True romance takes LONGER than THAT!” Trent says: “Maybe, but we’re kind of on a TIGHT schedule, LaShawna! The Enchanted Rose is starting to LOSE its petals.” (Confessional)

LaShawna says: “I believe it was William Shakespeare who once said, that the true course of love NEVER runs smooth! Those were true words when he wrote them, and they are STILL true words today!” / Trent says: “Being an enchanted object for ten years can really get to you. That’s probably the MAJOR reason I’m so EAGER to get this romance started! It’s time our master made a connection! If he doesn’t make it NOW, when will he ever be able to?!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa says: “Maybe it’s not even worth our time. I mean, she’s so PRETTY! And I’m…do I LOOK like a First Prize Winner?!” (Confessional) LaShawna says: “Well, he’s got us THERE! He’s not exactly a catch in the LOOKS department; but looks don’t count for everything! At least, for me, they don’t! All we need to do is capitalize on our Master’s POSITIVE traits, and Bridgette will see how GOOD he can TRULY be!” (End Confessional) LaShawna says: “You don’t NEED to be beautiful! You just need to be CHARMING, on the inside! It’s easy when you put your MIND to it!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I wish I knew HOW! I’ve never HAD the practice!” LaShawna says: “There’s no time like the present! You NEED to act CIVILIZED! Be courteous! Show the girl the RESPECT she deserves!” Trent says: “Of course! And when she comes in, show her how HAPPY you are to see her! Be a gigantic RAY of sunshine!” LaShawna says: “But don’t be overbearing, though. Give her some space, and let her get to know you on her OWN terms!” Trent says: “Tell her what she WANTS to hear!” LaShawna says: “But ALWAYS tell the truth!” Trent says: “But if nothing else…” LaShawna and Trent simultaneously say: “PLEASE control your EXPLOSIVE temper!” (Confessional) Trent says: “I think that did it! I think we got THROUGH to him! Everything should go PERFECTLY, now!” / Sasquatchanakwa says: “There sure is a LOT to remember, in order to JUST be a NICE guy! But it will be worth it, as LONG as Bridgette is feeling COOPERATIVE with us!” / LaShawna says: “I hope we got through to him. It all falls on Bridgette now. I HOPE she’s in a good enough mood to eat with our master, now. If she isn’t, than the mood in this castle is going to turn CONSIDERABLY sour, if you know what I mean!” (End Confessional) The door handle turns, and LaShawna asks: “Could that be HER?!” And the door opens up to reveal Noah! Noah nervously says: “Here I am!” Sasquatchanakwa is SLIGHTLY irritated, but controls himself, and asks: “Will Bridgette be COMING to the banquet we’ve worked SO hard on?!” Noah nervously says: “Funny story about that! It seems that…Bridgette is feeling ready to…that is, to say…with things going as they ARE…” Noah’s face turns pale white, and he hollowly says: “Bridgette won’t come downstairs.” Sasquatchanakwa yells: “EXCUSE ME?!!!”

And Sasquatchanakwa makes a MAD dash for Bridgette’s room, with the trio DESPERATELY running after him! Noah says: “Just a moment! Take a CHILL pill! Don’t ACT before you THINK!” And Sasquatchanakwa POUNDS on Bridgette’s door, and says: “I THOUGHT I expressed my DESIRE to have you for a banquet!” Bridgette says: “I’m NOT interested!” And the trio just shake their heads in disappointment. Sasquatchanakwa shouts: “You better come out of there…or…I’m going to get REALLY rough around here!” Trent says: “Forgive me for pointing this out, but that’s NOT exactly the RIGHT mood you want to SET with her!” Noah nervously says: “Can you just ATTEMPT to act all grown up about this?!” Sasquatchanakwa, in a sing-song voice, says: “I’m trying, but she’s making it REALLY HARD right about NOW!” LaShawna calmly says: “Take a deep breath, and ask gently.” (Confessional) Trent says: “So much for hoping that tonight would go SMOOTHLY!” / Noah asks: “Why do I ALWAYS end up being the bearer of bad news AROUND here?! Next time, I’m going to make TRENT deliver the bad news to Sasquatchanakwa, and see how TRENT likes it!” / LaShawna says: “Tonight is NOT…going IDEALLY, as far as my hopes and expectations for it are. But it’s possible that we can STILL salvage this relationship! / Sasquatchanakwa asks: “Why would ANYONE turn down a banquet?! It’s not every DAY you get a FREE meal!!” / Bridgette says: “This is PRECISELY the reason why I turned DOWN the banquet! If that…THING gets THAT mad just because I don’t feel like EATING, who knows HOW mad he gets if I did something REALLY wrong?! Needless to say, I’m not going to entertain somebody if they’re NOT willing to act mature when SOMEONE doesn’t WANT to play ALONG with them!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa groans, and says: “I’m SORRY I yelled at you! Now, will you come to the banquet?” Bridgette says: “Try asking LATER!” Sasquatchanakwa ASKS his servants: “Well?!” Noah says: “Try being empathetic!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I would feel REALLY honored, to have you for my banquet!” Noah adds: “And say, please!” Sasquatchanakwa asks: “Please?” Bridgette says: “Thanks, but NO thanks!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “Well, you can’t LIVE in that ROOM forever!” Bridgette asks: “Want to BET?!” Sasquatchanakwa angrily says: “If THAT’S the way you want it, than GO hungry for all I CARE!!!! See where THAT gets you! If she’s NOT going to eat with ME, I don’t want her EATING at ALL!!” And Sasquatchanakwa ANGRILY runs into the West Wing, SLAMMING the door behind him! LaShawna says: “I DON’T think that Bridgette is getting along WELL with our master right now.” Noah says: “Trent, this is now a CASTLE matter! Guard her quarters, and inform us at ONCE, if she has decided to change her mind!” Trent says: “You can depend on me!” Noah sighs and says: “Come on, LaShawna. We better get downstairs and clean the Master’s mess up!”

(Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa says: “If she won’t go for the carrot, that’s HER problem; not MINE! She HAS to eat sometime! A woman of HER disposition HAS to eat sooner or later! I’ll be WAITING for her to swallow HER pride, FIRST!!!!” / Bridgette says: “There are certain lines that I’m not WILLING to cross! Just because I have to LIVE here, doesn’t mean that I have to play by HIS rules! I REFUSE to play any of his games! And it’s not because I don’t FEEL like actually LIKING him, it’s the PRINCIPLE of the matter! And I NEVER betray my principles!” / Noah asks: “How do you LIKE that?! I know Bridgette doesn’t REALLY want to LIVE here, but she’s not even GIVING Sasquatchanakwa a CHANCE! Granted, she doesn’t have much of a REASON to! But still, she could have at LEAST thought about it!” /

LaShawna says: “On the one hand, I’m PROUD of Bridgette for standing up for herself! On the other hand, I’m a little disappointed that it’s NOT going to get me closer to becoming normal again. It’s a COMPLICATED little matter, that’s for SURE!” / Trent says: “I think Bridgette’s just a little mad about her situation. She just needs some time to think about it logically. She’ll cool down when she’s ready. At least, I sure HOPE she does!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa speaks to the audience, and says: “I was polite, and she STILL turned me DOWN! Does she expect me to get on my knees and PLEAD with her?! NOT going to happen! Magic Mirror, show me this Bridgette!” And the spotlight SHINES on Bridgette talking to Jasmine. Jasmine says: “Look; all I’m saying is that Sasquatchanakwa doesn’t ALWAYS act with such a violent temper! Why don’t you be nice and considerate with him?” Bridgette says: “I don’t WANT to be nice and considerate with HIM; I’m NOT going to have anything to DO with him!” The spotlight is turned off, and Sasquatchanakwa puts the mirror down on the table, next to the Enchanted Rose. Sasquatchanakwa says: “I’m just LYING to myself! Why would I EVER expect her to see me as ANYTHING except what I am? A beast! That’s all I am! It’s all I’m GOOD at being!” And as if on cue, another petal FALLS off the rose, bringing the total amount of fallen petals up to four. Sasquatchanakwa says: “It would take a MIRACLE for us to EVER get together! / The lights briefly dimmed as new dinner equipment is discreetly brought on-stage for the next scene. /

Act Three, Scene Three: Be Our Guest.          A little later in the same evening, Bridgette decides to come out of her room. Seeing no sign of Sasquatchanakwa or any enchanted objects around, she heads for the kitchen. Trent and Gwen are romantically kissing behind a curtain. Gwen says: “You’re so WARM!!!!” Trent says: “You’re so SWEET!” Gwen says: “You’re so tender!” Trent says: “You’re so romantic!” They come out from behind the curtain, and Gwen says: “Please be careful with your flames, all right?!” Trent says: “Hold up!” And Trent sees Gwen walking down the stairs! Trent says: “Hold those thoughts of yours, I need to inform LaShawna and Noah about this!” (Confessional) Trent says: “Okay, I ALWAYS knew Bridgette was going to come OUT of her room; I just didn’t think it would be until a lot LATER in the evening! Of course, that doesn’t mean that I have to let Sasquatchanakwa know about it IMMEDIATELY! I’m going to play this one by ear!” / Gwen says: “I HATE it when my romance with Trent is interrupted. It REALLY irritates me!” (End Confessional) In the kitchen, LaShawna says: “Cameron, you better go to bed. You’ve had a long day today.” Cameron yawns, and says: “But I’m NOT tired!” LaShawna says: “Of course you are.” Cameron says: “But I don’t WANT to!” And LaShawna closes the cupboard door. Chef Hatchet, the Stove, says: “Can you imagine the utter DISDAIN for my food?! We work to the rust in our metal joints, and what do we get?! Marvelous, magnificent food that will be SPOILED!” LaShawna says: “It’s not just you. We’re ALL disappointed with how this evening has played out.” Noah says: “If anyone would ask ME; and of course, they WON’T; Bridgette was being stubborn on PURPOSE! Our Master went out of his WAY to say please!” LaShawna says: “It’s his TEMPER that’s the problem. If he doesn’t learn HOW to control it, we will never break the--.” Bridgette walks into the kitchen, and Noah quickly says: “How WONDERFUL to see you down here, madame! I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced. My name is Noah, I run the house whenever our master is asleep.” And Trent runs in, and lights up his prop candles!

Noah rolls his eyes, sighs, and says: “This is Trent, and he’s okay, I GUESS!” Trent says: “The pleasure is all mine! I’d shake your hand, but I won’t risk setting you on fire.” Noah asks: “Is there anything you want to make your stay more enjoyable?” Bridgette says: “Well, I WOULD like something to eat!” LaShawna happily says: “How great! She WANTS to eat! Chef, light that fire! Get out the fine plates, and wake the utensils!” Noah asks: “What about the Master?” LaShawna asks: “What ABOUT him?! We can’t allow the girl to STARVE; that would be wrong!” Noah says: “Well, I SUPPOSE we could SPARE a bit of food or stuff!” Trent says: “We need to do MORE than that! She’s our special GUEST, and we need to treat her like one! She needs to feel like she’s a PART of this place!” Noah says: “All right! But keep it on the down-low. Our Master won’t be HAPPY if he finds us giving her FOOD behind his back!” Trent says: “We’ll be careful. But we want a special dinner, for our special girl! And a special girl, needs some special SINGING!!!!” Noah shouts: “SINGING?!!!” /

Trent says: “Ma chere mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride, and greatest pleasure, that we welcome you tonight! And now, we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair, as the dining room proudly presents, your dinner! Be our guest! Be our guest, put our service to the test! Tie your napkin round your neck, cherie, and we provide the rest! Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres, why, we only live to serve! Try the grey stuff, it is delicious! Don't believe me? Ask the dishes! They can sing, they can dance! After all, miss, this is France! And a dinner here is never second best! Go on, unfold your menu, you’ll take a glance and then you'll be our guest! Oui, our guest! Be our guest! Beef ragout, cheese soufflé, pie and pudding en flambe! We'll prepare and serve with flair, a culinary cabaret! You're alone, and you're scared, but the banquet's all prepared! No one's gloomy or complaining, while the flatware's entertaining! We tell jokes; I do tricks with my fellow candlesticks!” Chorus: “And it's all in perfect taste; that, you can bet!” Trent and Chorus: “Come on, and lift your glass, you've won your own free pass to be our guest!” Trent: “If you're stressed, it's fine dining we suggest!” Trent and Chorus: “Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest!” Trent: “Life is so unnerving, for a servant who's not serving. He's not whole without a soul to wait upon. Ah, those good old days when we were useful. Suddenly, those good old days are gone. Ten years we've been rusting, needing so much more than dusting! Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills! Most days, we just lay around the castle! Flabby, fat and lazy, you walked in, and oops-a-daisy!” LaShawna: “It's a guest, it's a guest! Sakes alive, well, I'll be blessed! Wine's been poured, and thank the lord, I've had the napkins freshly pressed! With dessert, she'll want tea! And, my dear, that's fine with me! While the cups do their soft-shoeing, I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing! I'll get warm, piping hot! Heaven's sake, is that a spot?! Clean it up, we want the company impressed! We've got a lot to do! Is it one lump or two? For you, our guest!” Chorus and LaShawna: “She's our guest! She's our guest! She's our guest!” Chorus: “Be our guest, be our guest! Your command is our request! It's been ten years since we've had anybody here, and we're obsessed! With your meal, with your ease; yes, indeed, we aim to please! While the candlelight's still glowing, let us help you, we'll keep going!” Trent: “Course by course! One by one! Until you shout--!” Chorus: “Enough, I'm done!” Trent: “Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest! Tonight, you'll prop your feet up, but for now, let's eat up! Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Please be our guest!” / And the epic song and dance number ends, as all the enchanted objects eventually leave the dining room.

Bridgette says: “How LOVELY! What a WONDERFUL song!” Noah happily says: “Well, I’m glad we could give you a lovely evening! Why, it might have been almost as beautiful as you, if I do say so myself! Although, it IS starting to get a little late.” And he points to the hour that is signified on his face, being a clock. Noah says: “I think it’s time for us to go to sleep.” Bridgette asks: “How could I go to sleep NOW?! I’ve never BEEN in an enchanted castle, BEFORE!” Noah nervously asks: “Who on Earth said THAT?!” Noah turns to Trent, and Noah says: “YOU did that, DIDN’T you?!” Bridgette says: “Actually, it wasn’t that HARD to figure out!” (Confessional) Trent rolls his eyes and says: “Come ON, Noah! She’s not THREE, you know! I THINK she KNOWS an Enchanted Castle when she’s in one! They ARE kind of OBVIOUS!” / Noah asks: “How was I SUPPOSED to know that Trent didn’t tell HER?! Nobody EVER tells me ANYTHING around here! Or at the very least, they don’t tell me ANYTHING soon enough!” / Bridgette says: “You know, I think Noah has a NICE sense of humor! If ONLY he would EMBRACE it!” (End Confessional) Bridgette says: “I want to have a look around this place, and find out where everything is. Would that be all right with you?” Trent asks: “Can I give you a guided tour?” Noah says: “HOLD IT!!!! I’m not SURE that’s a BRIGHT idea!” Trent asks: “Why not?” Noah whispers: “Our MASTER would be very UPSET if he woke up to find SOMEONE out of their ROOM! Besides, we’re not supposed to take her into any ‘certain’ places, if you catch my DRIFT!” Bridgette says: “Perhaps you would feel better if YOU were the guide! I’m sure a SMART guy like you knows EVERYTHING about this place!” (Confessional) Noah says: “Yeah, I figure that Bridgette is PROBABLY just trying to flatter me, but I don’t GET a lot of compliments; genuine, or otherwise! In my case, I’M going to take what I can GET!” / Bridgette says: “I want to know what this place has to offer. It’s not important to me as to WHO shows me around, just so long as I know how to GET there!” (End Confessional) Noah says: “In that case, allow me to be your humble guide. Let me show you around.” / The lights dim and the kitchen setting is taken apart, and a huge hallway opens up for the next scene. /

Act Three, Scene Four: Discovery in the West Wing.              Noah and Trent are taking Bridgette down a long hallway, filled with LOTS of empty suits of armor; that are STILL alive, being enchanted objects. And the armor can’t HELP but turn their heads as Bridgette passes by them! They are also joined by the seal footstool. Noah says: “This is the Venetian-styled section of the castle. The arches are patterned after Michelangelo’s work in the Sistine Chapel, and replace the more Gothic tone seen in the rest of the castle. Plenty of the Gothic mood in this castle, took its inspiration from the great, Rococo patterns of the Baroque Period. After all, if it’s not BAROQUE, don’t fix it! Ha, ha, ha! Sometimes I crack myself up! As for YOU, armor! Please, keep WATCH!!!!” And the suits of armor resume their silent vigil. Noah says: “Now then, I would like to draw your attention to the flying buttresses above the…madame?” And Noah and Trent see Bridgette START to walk up a staircase! They run in FRONT of her and block her! Bridgette asks: “Excuse me, you’re BLOCKING the way!” Noah says: “Oh, there’s absolutely NOTHING to interest you in the West Wing! It’s completely boring and POINTLESS in the West Wing! Bland, insipid, all around DULL!” Bridgette asks: “So THIS is the entrance to the West Wing?” Noah nervously says: “OOPS!!!!” (Confessional) Noah blushes and says: “Revealing how to get to the West Wing, not one of the SMARTER moves I’ve made during my so-called life, such as it is.” /

Trent rolls his eyes and says: “And to THINK, Noah was criticizing ME, for wanting to BE the guide for Bridgette’s tour around the castle!” (End Confessional) Bridgette asks: “Excuse me, but what does Sasquatchanakwa KEEP in the West Wing, anyways?” Trent asks: “Why would you even THINK about it? There’s nothing to FIND in there, ANYWAYS!” Bridgette says: “Then it’s obviously NOT the West Wing, because that place is OFF limits, right?!” Noah asks: “Why are we even DISCUSSING this anyways? There are plenty of OTHER places to EXPLORE, RIGHT?! We have the most BEAUTIFUL pieces of artwork! Some of them date all the way back to…” Bridgette says: “Perhaps some other time!” Trent quickly says: “Our tapestries! Or…our gigantic LIBRARY!!!!” Bridgette gasps and happily says: “A LIBRARY?!” (Confessional) Trent says: “It’s ALL about finding her BEST interest! After all, our master tells us ALL the time that absolutely NOBODY can come into the West Wing! Not NOBODY, not no how!” / Noah says: “I must admit, Trent surprised me! I didn’t think he had it IN him!” / Bridgette says: “Don’t get me wrong. The library DOES interest me! After all, knowledge IS power, especially in the 18th Century! And I know that I’m not SUPPOSED to, but I’ve just GOT to find out what’s in the West Wing! There’s just something inside of me, telling me to look! Besides, it might give me a clue as to WHY Sasquatchanakwa is acting the way he IS! Either way, I HAVE to know!” (End Confessional) Noah says: “Absolutely! We have a PLETHORA of books!” Trent says: “A myriad!” Noah says: “A collection!” Trent says: “A treasure trove of books!” Noah says: “The biggest collection of books that you can find ANYWHERE in the 18th Century! One that even rivals the legendary library of Alexandria!” And as the duo walks away, Bridgette walks up the darkly lit hallway, stopping as she sees her broken reflection in a shattered mirror. She heads for the doorway into the West Wing, and freezes momentarily. (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I feel like this is a turning point for me. One way or another, once I go into the West Wing, there probably won’t be any return for me. I feel like this must be similar to the opening of the Box of Pandora. It’s an object that you know you’re not SUPPOSED to open, but you open it anyways! All I know is, if I don’t go into the West Wing NOW, it’s going to eat AT me for the rest of my life! Maybe even longer!” (End Confessional)

Bridgette sighs, and opens the door into the West Wing. She is surprised to see a bunch of broken, shattered objects lying around on the ground, and everything is in a disarray. Bridgette sees that Sasquatchanakwa is asleep, looking strangely peaceful as he slumbers in his dreams. Than Bridgette silently GASPS when he sees the portrait of a YOUNG, blonde-haired man in the picture, with bright, blue eyes, only the picture has been torn for a LONG time, and Bridgette can’t MAKE the face out! (Confessional) Bridgette asks: “Is this the secret Sasquatchanakwa is hiding? Was THIS the man who originally owned this castle? What happened to him? Does Sasquatchanakwa feel GUILTY about whatever HAPPENED to this man? The portrait says, Prince Adam! Maybe he’s the guy who used to own this place! Instead of answering ONE question, I’m instead left with MORE questions than I was before!” (End Confessional) Bridgette starts to wipe the dust off, in order to get a better look, but she is BLINDED by the bright beauty of the Enchanted Rose! (Confessional) Bridgette says: “An object of beauty? In a desolate place such as this? What is it doing here? And it’s starting to lose some petals. It needs sunlight and a vase of water in order to regain its true potential!” (End Confessional)

Bridgette whispers to the Rose, which has lost five petals. Bridgette quietly says: “Hold on. I’ll get you some proper care.” But just as Bridgette is about to TOUCH the glass case over the rose, Sasquatchanakwa shouts: “Stay AWAY!!!!” And Sasquatchanakwa runs to PROTECT his precious rose, looking disdainfully at Bridgette! (Confessional) Bridgette asks: “He APPRECIATES beauty?! Why didn’t he TELL me?! More importantly, why couldn’t he TRUST me?! Of course, I did come in here without permission; but he should have just TRUSTED me!” / Sasquatchanakwa says: “I offer this girl FREE room and BOARD, and this is how she REPAYS me?! By completely disobeying me?! I’m ASHAMED of myself for allowing this GIRL into MY castle!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa asks: “Why are you HERE?!” Bridgette says: “I’m so ASHAMED of myself! You’ve got to BELIEVE me!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I ASKED you not to TRESPASS in here!” Bridgette says: “I wasn’t going to HURT anything!” Sasquatchanakwa angrily asks: “Do you even comprehend how MUCH you ALMOST hurt?!!!” And Sasquatchanakwa BREAKS the head of a gargoyle statue! Bridgette says: “Don’t DO this!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “Go AWAY!!!!” Bridgette runs AWAY from him, and she says: “Stop!” Sasquatchanakwa yells: “GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” And Bridgette FLEES the West Wing, and Sasquatchanakwa hangs his head in SHAME when he realizes how BADLY he just BLEW it with Bridgette! Bridgette runs down the stairs, quickly grabbing her winter coat and putting it on! Trent asks: “Where are you off to?” Bridgette says: “I can’t KEEP my promise! That THING is just TOO much to BEAR!!!!” Noah pleadingly says: “Don’t go! PLEASE, don’t GO!!!!” And Bridgette runs outside the castle! /

Act Three, Scene Five: The Escape/The Return.         Bridgette gets on Ace, and they make a mad gallop across the frozen landscape, a big, blustery blizzard is blowing through the air, making travel difficult, though not impossible. (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I probably should’ve been paying ATTENTION to the weather a little more carefully, but I had to make a BREAK for it! This might be the only chance I have of getting back to my father!” / Ace nods his head in agreement with Bridgette’s statement! (End Confessional) However, as Bridgette is riding Ace, it becomes very CLEAR that the woods is NOT a safe place to be, as they ENCOUNTER a bunch of hungry wolves! (Confessional) Bridgette asks: “Where’s a HUNTER and a musket when you NEED one?! Even a HUNTING knife would be pretty good about now?! Well, I guess I’ve got to try to outrace them! Ace is swift and sure! He can get us away safely! RIGHT?!!!” / Ace merely shakes nervously! (End Confessional) Ace and Bridgette make a swift retreat away from the wolves. Bridgette uses the topography of the trees, and the landscape to escape the wolves, occasionally kicking them AWAY from Ace, or running them INTO trees in order to lose them! But the duo are AMBUSHED, and Ace’s reins get tangled up in the branches of a tree! Bridgette also loses her hair ribbon, and now her hair is flowing freely. Ace tries to kick some wolves away, while Bridgette also uses a sturdy branch to knock some wolves away! But it’s very CLEAR that the situation isn’t that GOOD for them, as there are WAY too many wolves to fight against! (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I am normally a peaceful type of person. The only reason I would fight against something PHYSICALLY, is IF it was a matter of self-defense! And believe me, right then! I was in full-on SURVIVAL mode! I was ready to tackle ALL those wolves if I needed to! But then, something happened that I never THOUGHT would happen!” (End Confessional)

Sasquatchanakwa GRABS a wolf, and ROARS in its face, before tossing it aside like a RAG doll! Sasquatchanakwa says: “Keep AWAY from HER!!!! Bridgette, stay behind me, and don’t let your guard DOWN!” Bridgette merely nods her head, mostly because she’s STILL in shock that Sasquatchanakwa is DEFENDING her! Sasquatchanakwa plows INTO the wolves, who instantly resort to their PACK mentality in order to fight him! But despite their superior numbers, Sasquatchanakwa is able to hold his OWN against the wild animals! But the fight DOES take its toll on Sasquatchanakwa, as SEVERAL wolves tear INTO Sasquatchankwa’s clothes, and severely CLAW his left arm! Finally, Sasquatchanakwa KNOCKS the Alpha Wolf into a tree! Unwilling to take anymore, the wolves wince, and retreat. Sasquatchankwa groans: “I…saved you. But it…took…everything I had…out of me.” And Sasquatchanakwa COLLAPSES in the snow! Bridgette STARTS to get on Ace, but then she stops! (Confessional) Bridgette says: “All this time, I thought that…Sasquatchanakwa didn’t understand the concept of compassion, of empathy. Or that he ever had any thoughts about protecting me. But seeing as how he put his own life on the line for me, I know now that I was wrong. All I’ve been doing was judging him, and I never took the time to get to know him! I can’t just LEAVE him here, now! I promised I would stay at his castle, and I want to keep my word. I just HAVE to go back! I’m sure if my father were here, he’d understand!” (End Confessional) Bridgette says: “Help me load him onto you, Ace. We’ve got a LONG walk to the castle in front of us.” /

The lights dim, and the scene opens up on the castle. Bridgette has prepared a warm pot of water, and places a rag in it. She wrings it, because she knows she has to CLEAN Sasquatchanakwa’s wounds before she can bandage him. Bridgette says: “I have to clean you up now, so don’t lick yourself.” Sasquatchanakwa says: “Easy!” And the household objects back up nervously! Bridgette says: “Just don’t MOVE!!!!” Sasquatchankwa yells: “ROAR!!!! It HURTS!!!!” Bridgette shouts: “Of COURSE it HURTS; I told you NOT to MOVE!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “If you had just STAYED here, I wouldn’t BE hurt!” Bridgette says: “If you didn’t try to SCARE me, I wouldn’t have TRIED to leave YOU!” Unable to argue with THAT point, Sasquatchanakwa says: “Well, you should have stayed OUT of the West WING!!!!” Bridgette says: “Well, YOU need to learn how to be more patient and FORGIVING of others when they make mistakes!” (Confessional) Trent says: “Wow! She is GOOD!!!!” / Sasquatchanakwa says: “I didn’t HAVE to risk my life to save Bridgette! She DID disobey me! It’s just that, she wasn’t giving me a FAIR chance! I didn’t expect to run into wolves, but as Bridgette can see; I would do ANYTHING to protect her!” / Bridgette says: “It seems that Sasquatchanakwa is perfectly harmless, ONCE you look him in the eye and let him KNOW who is actually RIGHT! It’s not heaven, and it’s not perfect, but I’ll take it for now!” (End Confessional) Bridgette says: “Just relax. This could sting a bit.” And Sasquatchanakwa winces. Bridgette says: “Oh! And I wanted to thank you for rescuing me! That was a very noble thing to do.” Sasquatchanakwa relaxes, and says: “I’m glad, I was able to be there for you.” / End of Third Sequence and fade to black. / I’ll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now! ;)

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Here is Act Four of my first One-Shot Story, and it even includes an EXCLUSIVE song NOT featured in the Disney version of "Beauty and the Beast!" And once again, please ignore the different text formats, there's nothing I can do about it. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy it! /

Total Drama: Beauty and the Beast

Act Four, Scene One: The Insidious Plan.      The scene opens up in the root beer pub, it is late at night, and empty of any people, save for three. Alejandro and Scott are meeting with a strange man, who concerns himself only with money, and very little about anything else. Alejandro says: “Thank you for coming on such short notice Monseuir Ezekiel.” Ezekiel says: “It’s not often that I get away from the Insane Asylum this late at night; but after you promised me a lot of money, I figured it would be worth my time.” And Alejandro plops a big bag of gold coins onto the table they are sitting at. Ezekiel’s eyes light up, and he intently says: “You HAVE my attention!” (Confessional) Alejandro says: “From my experience, everyone has a PRICE that they are willing to pay, in order to give up on their ‘principles, pride, dignity’ and other such nonsense. What I’m planning to do, is that I’m planning on making Bridgette an offer she can’t refuse! I won’t LET her!” (End Confessional) Alejandro says: “Here’s the deal. I’ve got my mind set on getting married to Bridgette. The trouble is, she has a…lack…of enthusiasm over the idea.” Scott says: “She rejected him FLAT out!” Alejandro angrily yells: “Shut up!!!!” Scott asks: “What did I say?!” Alejandro angrily says: “Keep your IDIOT opinions to yourself!”

(Confessional) Alejandro says: “Note to self, when I inevitably write the magnificent, glorious biography on my life, I will edit it to remove ANY reference to the stupid actions and words that Scott has said throughout his LIFE!” / Scott says: “I was just telling it, in the way that it went down. That’s no excuse for Alejandro to get all snippy about it.” (End Confessional) Alejandro says: “Now, everyone in town knows that her step-father, Chris Maclean is crazy! Why, just earlier tonight, he came IN this root beer pub, ranting about some Sasquatchanakwa, keeping Bridgette a prisoner in his castle!” Ezekiel says: “I know about Chris Maclean and his eccentric behavior. But Chris Maclean wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Alejandro says: “That’s not my point! Bridgette LOVES her step-father TOO much to let anything BAD happen to him! I’m willing to bet that she would do ANYTHING to keep him from being locked away!” Scott says: “Yeah, like become YOUR bride!” Alejandro angrily says: “Scott…!” Scott says: “I know, shut up!” (Confessional) Ezekiel says: “Normally, I’m against locking up people if they’re innocent. But when I’m given the right amount of money, I can look the other way. It’s nothing personal, it’s just the advancement of my own PERSONAL fortunes!” / Scott asks: “Now why did Alejandro get mad THAT time?! I was TRYING to give him a COMPLIMENT! Doesn’t Alejandro know a compliment when he HEARS one?!” / Alejandro says: “Second note to self, in the future, when making ‘friends,’ make sure those ‘friends’ have a rudimentary knowledge of tact and discretion, and that they have passed at LEAST the third grade!” (End Confessional) Ezekiel says: “Let me get this straight; you want me to lock up Chris Maclean in the Insane Asylum, unless Bridgette agrees to become your bride.” Alejandro gets a DELICOUSLY evil smile on his face, and says: “Precisely! If Bridgette agrees, we become the greatest couple in the world since King Louis and Marie Antoinette! If she refuses, I get to lock up her father, and humiliate HER in the process! Either way, I win! So what do you say, partner? Are you in?” (Confessional) Alejandro says: “If there’s one thing I love MORE than girls falling head over heels for me, it’s REVENGE! So if Bridgette refuses me THIS time, she will only have a HOLLOW victory to look forward to, because her Father’s name, and by extension, her name, will forever be TAINTED by Chris Maclean being labeled as a LUNATIC! I can’t LOSE!” / Ezekiel says: “Alejandro wants to know if I’m in? Well, I have only ONE possible answer for that!” (End Confessional) Ezekiel says: “Alejandro, you are simply DEPLORABLE!!!! I LOVE that in a man! You HAVE a deal!” /

Meanwhile, at Chris Maclean’s house, Chris is getting dressed for the winter weather, and packing as many valuable objects as he can into his backpack. Chris says: “I no longer CARE if I’m not getting any help! I’ll go back MYSELF if I have to! With everything I have, I just GOT to have SOMETHING that Sasquatchanakwa wants MORE than Bridgette!” (Confessional) Chris says: “When you come to know a person as much as I know Bridgette, you’re willing to do anything for her! Thankfully, if I come across any wolves THIS time, I’m armed with a Machete, and a knife! They won’t know what hit them! Besides, IF Bridgette ever decides to get married, I want to be around to see her kids! It’s the closest that I’ll ever be to being a Grandfather!” (End Confessional) Chris says: “That should be everything, then. It’s back to the castle, then. I’ll get Bridgette back, no matter WHAT it takes!” And Chris closes the door, and goes off towards the woods. Chris is unaware however, that some unwelcome strangers have arrived at his house. Alejandro and Scott knock on the door. Alejandro shouts: “Bridgette! Chris?!” Scott says: “Darn it, they’re not home! Guess we have to call the whole thing OFF!” Alejandro gets determined, and says: “Oh, NO we DON’T! They’ll come back eventually, and we’ll be prepared for that!”

Alejandro THROWS Scott into a snow pile next to Chris Maclean’s house, and Alejandro seriously says: “Scott, you will NOT vacate this place under ANY circumstances, until Bridgette and Chris come back here!” And Alejandro walks away from Chris Maclean’s house! Scott asks: “Not even to use the bathroom?!” But Scott doesn’t get an answer. (Confessional) Scott is dejected and says: “Very funny! Let’s have Scott do the most BORING part of this job, which is to be look-out! I can’t BELIEVE my rotten LUCK in life!” (End Confessional). /

Act Four, Scene Two: Something There.        Back at Sasquatchanakwa’s castle, the sun is shining over the fields of snow surrounding it. Ace and Bridgette are enjoying a nice day outside. Sasquatchanakwa, is watching over them, feeling a sense of longing and passion from deep inside himself. Sasquatchankwa says: “It’s strange, how I feel about Bridgette. The more I think about her, the more I care about her. I’ve got to do something wonderful to show her my feelings! Got any suggestions?” And Sasquatchanakwa turns to Noah and Trent for advice. (Confessional) Noah asks: “Now the big guy wants to know what I think? If he had ASKED me what I thought ten YEARS ago with that beggar woman came to the castle, we probably wouldn’t BE in this mess! But then again, nobody ever asks to hear what I honestly think, when it’s REALLY important!” / Sasquatchanakwa says: “I know OTHER guys probably have an EASIER time trying to impress girls, but I’m still a little NEW to this whole ‘empathy’ and ‘caring’ thing. I want to make sure I get it right, and I’m open to ANY suggestions available to me.” (End Confessional) Noah says: “I’ve got a few suggestions. There’s candy, jewelry, making impossible promises like the moon and the stars.” Trent says: “Real women don’t care about such trivial stuff, they want something important! Something that brings MEANING into their life!” Trent gasps and says: “Of course! I know JUST the THING that Bridgette likes!” (Confessional) Trent says: “Over the course of my life, I have learned to become a VERY good listener. I pay attention to what others say, so that I may be able to use it, in order to help out others in the future. It’s the secret to my romantic success with Gwen!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchanakwa and Bridgette are standing outside a very pretty doorway, with the doors closed. Sasquatchankwa says: “Bridgette, I’m about to show you something that nobody else has seen in ten years.” Bridgette says: “That sounds interesting.” Sasquatchankwa says: “But you’ve got to cover your eyes first; it will make the experience feel better once we make the reveal!” (Confessional) Bridgette says: “Now Sasquatchankwa has me intrigued! First he saves me, and now he wants to surprise me. Of course, I’m not going to fall over myself for just ANY old thing, but I’m willing to let myself be surprised! I have NO idea what it’s going to be!” / Sasquatchanakwa says: “Trent, this is where your knowledge and listening skills will be put to the test! Here is where you EARN your pay!” (End Confessional) Bridgette puts her hands over her eyes, and Sasquatchanakwa opens the door. Sasquatchanakwa says: “Wait while I get some light in this room.” And Sasquatchankwa opens the curtains, flooding the room with light! Bridgette asks: “Can I remove my hands now?” Sasquatchankwa says: “To see my gift for you? YES!” And Bridgette does so, and is AMAZED to see a gigantic ROOM of books, just like Trent and Noah described! There are SO many, there are even stairs and movable ladders, JUST to access the plethora of books available! (Confessional) Bridgette’s mouth is agape and she says: “Okay, now THIS I like! Who knew guys could be such book collectors?! Honestly, I’m VERY impressed!” / Sasquatchanakwa says: “Thank you, Trent! I couldn’t have done this without you!” (End Confessional)

Bridgette says: “This is AMAZING! I wasn’t aware that there could BE so many books in a single place, or even in the WORLD, for that matter!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “This place came WITH the castle. I never learned how to read myself, being an ape creature and all. It wasn’t really a skill that I needed.” Bridgette says: “I could teach you. Besides, I always LOVE reading a good book and expanding my knowledge! Reading could be the key to YOUR enlightenment!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “I like the sound of that. Do you like this room?” Bridgette says: “I LOVE this room!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “Than you can keep it! You can read ANY book your heart desires!” Bridgette happily says: “I’ve never GOTTEN such a wonderful gift from ANYONE! How can I ever repay you?” Sasquatchankwa says: “There’s no need to. Your happiness is enough of a reward for me.” (Confessional) Sasquatchankwa says: “If I’m going to have a romance with Bridgette, I want it to be an honest one. No strings attached, because I want Bridgette to love me for what I am on the inside. I just hope that it’s enough to change the condition I’m in.” / Bridgette says: “It seems strange for me to find such a kind, and generous person in a package like Sasquatchanakwa. It just goes to show you that sometimes, you can find what you’re looking for, in the most unexpected of places. I could learn to ENJOY living here.” (End Confessional) Trent and the other Enchanted Objects are watching this from the doorway. Trent says: “What did I tell you guys? The idea was a hit! He’s made a lot of progress with Bridgette!” Gwen says: “You’re telling me! It kind of…brings a tear to your eye to see someone becoming so emotionally mature!” Noah says: “I must admit, Trent did GOOD, for once! It’s AMAZING what you can do when you apply yourself!” Cameron says: “Well, I like seeing a romance unfold as much as the next guy, but we STILL have jobs to do! This castle doesn’t run itself, you know.” LaShawna says: “Quite right! Come along, everyone! We’ve got a breakfast to prepare! I think Bridgette will be MORE than willing to eat with Sasquatchanakwa NOW!”

(Confessional) Gwen says: “Trent’s really been impressing me lately. I’m thinking that if Sasquatchanakwa is successful, than if and/or when I become human again, I might ask Trent to marry me! I would consider myself a LUCKY girl, than!” / Noah says: “It’s not often someone manages to impress me. As of right now, Trent has moved from a three to a seven on my Respect-o-meter. Not that anyone’s counting…besides me, I guess.” / Cameron says: “I was only four, when I became a cup. So I don’t remember MUCH of things from when I was a human. Although it must CERTAINLY be BETTER than just being a cup! I can’t WAIT to have actual arms and LEGS again!” / LaShawna says: “I think it’s very important that Sasquatchanakwa is showing Bridgette some caring and compassion. But what I’m really amazed is by how, it’s coming from within him. I guess caring and compassion can’t be given by force, it must be given through example. I guess even a spunky teapot like me, can stand to learn a few new things from Bridgette! She’s a REALLY amazing girl!” (End Confessional) Bridgette and Sasquatchankwa are sitting at the banquet table together. Bridgette is eating her oatmeal normally, but Sasquatchankwa is devouring it like a dog, until REALIZING that this is NOT how civilized people EAT! (Confessional) Sasquatchankwa blushes and says: “Okay, that’s not exactly what I would call a ‘good’ maneuver. It’s been ten YEARS since I had to eat like a person! Cut me some slack, okay?!” / Bridgette says: “I think that when I start reading to Sasquatchankwa, the first book I read SHOULD be a book of proper manners. After all, etiquette is just about EVERYTHING when it comes to the dining room table.” (End Confessional)

Cameron whispers: “Try the SPOON!” Sasquatchankwa sighs and says: “Well, here goes SOMETHING!” Bridgette watches, and she can’t help but smile when she sees how AWKWARDLY Sasquatchanakwa handles his spoon. Bridgette says: “Try it THIS way.” She picks up her bowl, puts it to her lips, and gently sips from it. Sasquatchankwa sees the way to do, and is able to eat his food normally! / Bridgette and Sasquatchankwa are outside, enjoying the nice weather. And they can’t help but sing what they are feeling, to the audience. /

Bridgette: “There's something sweet, and almost kind; but he was mean, and he was coarse, and unrefined. And now he's dear, and so unsure; I wonder why I didn't see it there before.” Sasquatchankwa: “She glanced this way, I thought I saw. And when we touched, she didn't shudder at my paw. No, it can't be, I'll just ignore; but then she's never looked at me that way before!” Bridgette: “New, and a bit alarming; who'd have ever thought that this could be? True; that he's no Prince Charming, but there's something in him that I simply didn't see!” Trent: “Well, who'd have thought?” LaShawna: “Well, bless my soul!” Noah: “Well, who'd have known?” Gwen: “Well, who indeed?” Trent: “And who'd have guessed they'd come together on their own?” LaShawna: “It's so peculiar.” All Enchanted Objects: “We'll wait and see, a few days more. There may be something there that wasn't there before. Noah: “You know, perhaps there's something there that wasn't there before.” LaShawna: “There may be something there that wasn't there before.” / And the song ends, as Sasquatchankwa and Bridgette sitting down by the fireplace, with Bridgette reading a book to Sasquatchankwa. The Enchanted Objects close the door on this tender moment, in order to prepare the room for the next scene. /

Act Four, Scene Three: Beauty and the Beast.            Sasquatchankwa is in a large tub filled with soap bubbles, with D.J. helping him get all cleaned up for something special. Trent says: “I think we’ve got everything ready for you, sir! This will be your night of nights!” Sasquatchankwa nervously says: “I’m not sure if I’m ready for this.” Trent says: “This is no time to get stage fright! You must be brave, and fearless!” Sasquatchankwa says: “Brave and fearless? I can do that!” (Confessional) Trent says: “I’ve never thought of Sasquatchankwa as being timid about anything, but we’re kind of on a tight schedule! The Enchanted rose has almost lost 50% of its petals! We can’t afford to wait! We need to make a move on this, while we are still able to!” / Sasquatchankwa says: “The closer I get to being able to become human, the more nervous I get about it. After all, I have NO way of knowing if me falling in love with Bridgette and vice-versa, will ACTUALLY turn me human again or not. If it doesn’t, I REALLY don’t think Bridgette would be that THRILLED to be in a relationship with me.” (End Confessional) Trent says: “I’ve got the mood all set. LaShawna will sing her sultry voice, the lighting and ambience will be done to perfection, and once you are all happy together, you tell her your TRUE feelings that you have!” Sasquatchankwa asks: “But what if…?” Trent says: “Don’t give me a ‘what if?’ I mean, do you genuinely LOVE this woman?!” Sasquatchanakwa says: “More than any OTHER woman that I’ve ever met, and there aren’t a LOT of them!” Trent says: “Than that’s HALF the battle won already! You just do your part, and you let LOVE take care of the rest! Why, just LOOK at yourself, you look…FABULOUS!!!!” Sasquatchankwa LOOKS in the mirror, and sees his hair and beard done up in curls. Sasquatchanakwa seriously says: “This is NOT what I had in mind.” (Confessional) Trent says: “Note to self, Sasquatchankwa does NOT pull off FABULOUS!” / Sasquatchankwa says: “Note to self, I have GOT to hire a BETTER hairdresser!” (End Confessional) Trent says: “Okay, FORGET fabulous! Try ‘Elegant’ instead.” And D.J. fixes up Sasquatchankwa some more. Noah says: “Now that is PERFECT! Enjoy your evening!”

Beautiful piano music plays, as Sasquatchankwa is dressed in his elegant best, and Bridgette is dressed in a GLAMOROUS, green, glittering dress. As they enjoy dinner and dance together, LaShawna sings a love ballad. /

LaShawna: “Tale as old as time, true, as it can be. Barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly. Just a little change; small, to say the least. Both a little scared, neither one prepared, Beauty and the Beast. Ever just the same, ever a surprise! Ever as before, ever just as sure, as the sun will rise! Tale as old as time, tune as old as song. Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change. Learning you were wrong. Certain as the sun, rising in the east, tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, Beauty and the Beast. Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, Beauty and the Beast.” / The song ends, and LaShawna says: “It’s been a lovely evening, but I think that we should go to bed. Come along, Cameron.” Cameron says: “You go on ahead, I’ll catch up.” LaShawna says: “All right, but don’t linger too long.” Cameron says: “I won’t.” /

Act Four, Scene Four: If You Love Someone…          Bridgette and Sasquatchankwa are sitting in an outside balcony at night, and a shooting star flies past them in the night. Sasquatchankwa asks: “Bridgette, do you enjoy being here?” Bridgette says: “I think it’s a wonderful place. I never thought, I could ever be so happy, anywhere.” Bridgette sighs and says: “And yet…” Sasquatchankwa asks: “Is something on your mind?” Bridgette says: “I’m wondering what my Father is up to. If I could see him again, however briefly, it would mean a lot to me, to know he’s okay.” (Confessional) Sasquatchankwa says: “If Bridgette is unhappy, it makes me unhappy. So if there is a way to make Bridgette happy, and there is, than I feel obligated to show her.” / Bridgette says: “Sasquatchankwa is surprisingly light on his feet, and he’s a much better dancer than most other guys that I have danced with. Although admittedly, I haven’t DANCED with a lot of other guys; I’m just saying that based on what I have seen.” (End Confessional)

Sasquatchankwa says: “I’ve got an Enchanted Mirror. All you have to do, is ask you to show you something, and it will show you what you have asked to see.” Bridgette holds up the mirror and says: “Please show me Chris Maclean, and where he currently is.” The mirror glows, and a spotlight SHINES on Chris Maclean. Despite wearing a warm, winter outfit, Chris has collapsed down, in a cold, snowy field in the woods, and is coughing, as he has been driven to the brink of exhaustion! Bridgette asks: “What is my father doing by himself?! Did he try to come back for me?! If he dies out there by himself, I’m not sure if I could ever FORGIVE myself.” Sasquatchankwa looks at the Enchanted Rose, seeing that it has NOW lost more than 50% of its Rose Petals. (Confessional) Bridgette says: “That Enchanted Mirror works, but now I’ve become more worried than I’ve ever been before! Why does Chris Maclean have to be so brave and STUBBORN?! I feel so emotionally conflicted!” / Sasquatchankwa says: “There comes a time in everyone’s life, where they are faced with a difficult decision, or two. I know that time is running out for me; but the fact of the matter is, I couldn’t BEAR to live with myself, if I just sat around, and did nothing to help Bridgette. It may cost me everything, but deep down inside, I KNOW that I NEED to do this! It’s the only way Bridgette will ever be happy!” (End Confessional)

Sasquatchankwa seriously says: “You HAVE to rescue your father!” Bridgette asks: “Are you SERIOUS?!” Sasquatchankwa says: “I’ve never been more serious or sure of ANYTHING else in my life! I’m giving you BACK your freedom. You no longer HAVE to stay here!” Bridgette says: “I could go back home?” Sasquatchankwa says: “It’s all your choice now.” (Confessional)

Bridgette says: “It says a LOT about someone, who realizes that they have a moral responsibility to free someone from having to stay somewhere. People in the American South could learn a LOT from how wonderful it feels to give someone their freedom.” / Sasquatchankwa says: “If I really CARE about Bridgette, and I do, I need to think about what’s best for her, and not what’s best for me. Even if it means that I don’t become human again, at least I will be able to live with myself, knowing that I did the right thing.” (End Confessional) Bridgette says: “You’ve given so much to me! And I don’t know where to BEGIN paying you back!” Sasquatchankwa says: “You can start by taking the Enchanted Mirror with you. In case you ever want or NEED to see anything else, you can use that as a key to find what you need.” Bridgette says: “I won’t forget what you’ve done for me. Someday, somehow, I’ll find a way to pay you back.” And Bridgette hurries to get changed out of her dancing dress, and into some winter clothes. Noah walks in and says: “Sasquatchankwa, you’ve made us ALL proud tonight! You certainly worked some miracles, didn’t you?” Sasquatchankwa sighs and says: “I gave Bridgette, her freedom back.” Noah says: “Of course you did! That’s won…” Than Noah FREEZES and realizes what Sasquatchankwa has SAID! Noah, bewildered, asks: “What did you do?! How could you THINK that?!” Sasquatchankwa sadly says: “It NEEDED to be done!” Noah asks: “And why is that?” Sasquatchankwa says: “Bridgette’s the one. I love her.”

(Confessional) Noah’s eyes are WIDE open and he says: “SERIOUSLY, I NEVER expected to see THIS coming, EVER!” / Sasquatchankwa says: “Love is wonderful, but it can also hurt, if you have to give up what you love in order to make them happy. But she HAS a chance to live a normal life! She never ASKED for a life with me! And I don’t think I can force her to do something she doesn’t want! Or rather, I CAN’T do that anymore! Love has changed me, and I’m never going to forget it.” (End Confessional)

Noah confronts the other Enchanted Objects, and they all ask: “THAT’S what he DID?!” Noah sighs and says: “It’s sad, but true.” Cameron asks: “Bridgette is LEAVING us?!” Trent moans and says: “We were SO close to fixing EVERYTHING!” LaShawna sighs and says: “It was an impossible decision. I probably would’ve done the SAME thing if I were in the same position Sasquatchankwa was. To think, now, at the end of things, Sasquatchankwa FINALLY knows what LOVE is!” Trent’s prop flames light up and he says: “Wait! It IS love! That’s what’s NEEDED to change us BACK!” LaShawna says: “If only it were enough. Bridgette needed to return that love BACK to Sasquatchankwa.” Noah says: “But if she leaves…” Gwen asks: “What will happen to us?” LaShawna sighs and says: “I don’t know.” And they don’t notice Cameron slipping out of the room.

(Confessional) Trent sighs and says: “The odds were ALWAYS against us! I guess there never WAS any real hope. Just a fool’s hope, that maybe, things would work out all right and the end.” / LaShawna says: “On the one hand, I’m proud of Sasquatchankwa for doing the morally right thing. Bridgette needed her freedom, to rescue her father. But on the other hand, it makes OUR futures look all dark and cloudy. I feel a REAL storm brewing in the air!” / Cameron asks: “Why is Bridgette leaving? It makes no sense! I need to hide in her backpack, and find out where she’s going to!” (End Confessional) Wearing her winter outfit, and hitching up Ace, Bridgette says: “Hang on, buddy! I’ve got a father to save! Giddy-up!” And as they rush off for the forest, Sasquatchankwa lets out one final roar! /

While Bridgette is searching for Chris Maclean, Sasquatchankwa unexpectedly preforms his version of a hit song, originally sung by Sting! / Sasquatchankwa: “Free, free, set them free. Free, free, set them free. Free, free, set them free. If you need somebody, call my name. If you want someone, you can do the same. If you want to keep something precious, you got to lock it up and throw away the key. If you want to hold onto your possession, don't even think about me. If you love somebody, if you love someone, if you love somebody, if you love someone, set them free! Free, free, set them free. Set them free! Free, free, set them free. If it's a mirror you want, just look into my eyes. Or a whipping boy, someone to despise. Or a prisoner in the dark, tied up in chains you just can't see! Or a beast in a gilded cage, that's all some people ever want to be! If you love somebody, if you love someone, if you love somebody, if you love someone, set them free! Free, free, set them free! Set them free! Free, free, set them free! You can't control an independent heart. Can't tear the one you love apart. Forever conditioned to believe that we can't live. We can't live here and be happy with less. So many riches, so many souls, with everything we see that we want to possess! If you need somebody, call my name. If you want someone, you can do, you can do; you can do the same. If you want to keep something precious, you got to lock it up and throw away the key! You want to hold onto your possession, don't even think about me! If you love somebody, if you love someone, if you love somebody, if you love someone, set them free! Free, free, set them free. Set them free! Free, free, set them free. Set them free! Free, free, set them free. Set them free! Free, free, set them free!” / And the epic song ends as Bridgette FINDS Chris Maclean! Bridgette says: “Don’t worry, everything’s going to be all right! I’ll get you back home!” / Bridgette takes Chris Maclean back home, unaware that Scott is HIDING behind the frozen bushes! Scott says: “They’ve returned! Finally! I was wondering how long it was going to take them! Alejandro’s window of opportunity has just opened! Poor Bridgette! Won’t SHE be surprised?!” / End of the Fourth Act and fade to black. / I’m going to break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now! ;)

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At long last, here is the Fifth and FINAL Act of my First "One Shot Story," titled "Total Drama: Beauty and the Beast!" Enjoy! /

Total Drama: Beauty and the Beast

Act Five, Scene One: Kill the Beast!               Chris Maclean has been changed into his pajamas, and is just now waking up to the sight of his beloved Bridgette. Chris moans and says: It feels like I just got thawed out of the freezer.” Bridgette says: “Dad, you’re all right! Oh, I’m so glad!” Chris says: “I was to. I was worried that we’d never be together again.” Bridgette says: “I’ve got a lot to catch up on with you.” Chris asks: “For instance, I thought you were kept a prisoner in that castle run by Sasquatchanakwa! How did you get out?!” (Confessional) Bridgette says: “I always KNEW reading books was going to come in handy! Thanks to my knowledge of the best medical practices available, that DOESN’T involve leeches, I was able to give Chris Maclean a level of medical care, that under normal circumstances, probably WON’T be known about until like the 1860’s! And that’s PROBABLY because I am a WOMAN, and if a MAN ends up writing about the history of France, they’ll probably try to write me off, OR reduce ME to being a mere housewife! The 18th Century is DEFINITELY not the best time for WOMEN in the world!” / Chris says: “I always thought of Bridgette as an angel, I just never thought that she would help ME from becoming an angel too early! I owe her a lot!” (End Confessional)

Bridgette says: “It’s kind of complicated. I’m not sure how or why, but Sasquatchankwa released me!” Chris asks: “That TERRIBLE creature just FREED you?!” Bridgette says: “But he’s NOT terrible anymore, if he ever truly was. Just…shut away and misunderstood. He really opened up to me while I was with him.” (CLATTER!) And Cameron falls out of Bridgette’s backpack! Cameron says: “Hi there!” (Confessional) Bridgette says: “Okay, Cameron is not just a light-weight, he’s like a FREAKY light-weight! I totally didn’t even FEEL him inside my backpack!” / Cameron says: “LaShawna always told me that if we HAD a scale that could measure MY weight, a FEATHER would end up weighing more than I do. Seeing as how Bridgette didn’t notice me until now, I guess that must be true.” (End Confessional) Chris Maclean says: “This is a pleasant surprise! I certainly never expected US to meet, again.” Cameron asks: “Bridgette, why did you leave us? I thought you were FOND of us!” Bridgette says: “Cameron, it’s not LIKE that! I am fond of you. But you see, I just had to…” (Knock, knock.) Bridgette stops, and asks: “I wonder who that could be? Cameron, you stay out of sight. I don’t have TIME to explain how a teacup can talk.” Cameron says: “Understood.” (Confessional) Bridgette seriously says: “I am going to be SO ticked off if that ends up being Alejandro trying to court ME again! I SWEAR, he NEVER quits! But he’s going to find out that I’m a lot more stubborn than HE is! This time, I’m putting my foot DOWN!” / Cameron says: “Okay, so Bridgette IS fond of us. But what does she have to do? I hope whoever is at the door, is only here for a quick visit. I want to find out just WHY Bridgette had to leave our castle.” (End Confessional)

Bridgette opens the door, and is SURPRISED to see Ezekiel standing on her porch. Bridgette asks: “Is something the matter, sir?” Ezekiel says: “I’m afraid this matter doesn’t concern you. It concerns Chris Maclean.” Bridgette asks: “Why does it concern my dad?” Ezekiel says: “It all boils down to his sanity…or rather, LACK thereof, I’m afraid! But you no longer have to worry about him endangering YOUR life any longer!” And Ezekiel reveals a LARGE, angry crowd, surrounding a covered wagon that is labeled: “Prison for Undesirables.” Bridgette angrily says: “My father’s NOT insane!” Scott says: “Shows what you KNOW! He was ranting like a CRAZED mad-man! We all remember what he said, DON’T we?!” Courtney says: “Lock him up! LOCK HIM UP!!!!” Chris puts on a robe and asks: “What’s going on out here?!” Scott says: “There’s the culprit himself! Remind us, Chris; just how large IS Sasquatchanakwa?!” Chris says: “From what I remember, he was REALLY tall! He must have been two…NO! More like, THREE yards TALL!” And the Angry Mob LAUGHS derisively! Scott says: “If that’s NOT the proof of an INSANE person, I don’t know what is!” Chris says: “I’m telling the TRUTH!” Scott says: “Put him in the wagon!” And Duncan and Topher come GRAB Chris by his arms, and try to FORCE him toward the Covered Wagon! Chris struggles and says: “I’m NOT going with you!” Bridgette says: “Ezekiel, you CAN’T put my dad away without a trial!” Ezekiel says: “Marie Antoinette said the same thing, and that didn’t turn out well for HER, either!” And Ezekiel heads to get into his wagon. Alejandro appears, feigns sympathy, and says: “This is absolutely DISTURBING, Bridgette! You must be APALLED by the behavior of your dad!” Bridgette pleads with Alejandro and says: “You have the greatest reputation of the town! Make this go AWAY for me!” (Confessional) Ezekiel says: “I don’t have to answer to Bridgette if I don’t want to! It’s not MY fault her father acted the way he did!” / Scott says: “I LOVE it when a plan of Alejandro’s comes to fruition!” / Chris says: “Note to self, in the future, if I EVER see any other large monster or beast EVER again, remember to keep it to myself!” /

Bridgette says: “Under normal circumstances, I would NEVER ask Alejandro for a favor! But this certainly ISN’T normal circumstances! Besides, this is his CHANCE to prove that there’s a kind, nice soul inside of him! He can’t be ALL bad!” / Alejandro says: “My plan is coming along nicely. Scott has whipped up this mob into a frenzy, and they have taken the bait! Now all I need to do is tell Bridgette MY side of the deal! I highly DOUBT she will refuse; because if she DID, she’d be no better than I am, when it comes to CARING about people! But if she DOES refuse, it’s STILL no skin off MY nose! It will serve as a permanent reminder as to what can HAPPEN to people who REFUSE me! And NOBODY, will EVER refuse Alejandro AGAIN!” (End Confessional) Alejandro says: “Bridgette, I can make this whole, UGLY mess go away, for a PRICE!!!!” Bridgette disgustedly asks: “A PRICE?!!!” Alejandro gets an EVIL glare and says: “You will be my BRIDE!!!!” And Bridgette gasps in anger! (Confessional) Bridgette angrily says: “It was HIM!!!! It HAD to be HIM!!!! Who else would be so SADISTIC as to conjure a plan like THIS up?! To think, I was actually HOPING there was a SHRED of DECENCY in there! But NOPE! Alejandro has proven to me, that there is absolutely NOTHING redeeming about HIM! He is now officially on the OFF section my Christmas list! And I never THOUGHT I would ever have to put ANYBODY on the ‘Off’ section of my Christmas list!” / Alejandro smirks, and says: “This is Bridgettes last chance with me! All she has to do is SAY, ‘Yes.’ I know she doesn’t WANT her father to be locked up! She just has to say that one word, and I’m sure it will ALL be a funny memory, some day!” (End Confessional)

Bridgette angrily asks: “How could you?!” Alejandro says: “Really, your father’s freedom is on the line. Is this REALLY a good time to start pointing fingers? You know what I want. Is it REALLY so terrible to have to swallow your pride?!” Bridgette angrily says: “I will NEVER give YOU what you want; not even for all the money or BOOKS in the WORLD!” Alejandro growls angrily and says: “YOUR words, not MINE!” And Bridgette runs back into the house, knowing that Chris Maclean can’t hold off the Angry Mob once longer! Chris yells: “Let me GO!!!!” Bridgette says: “My father is NOT insane, and I have PROOF! Enchanted Mirror, show me SASQUATCHANAKWA!!!!” And a spotlight shines on the distant Sasquatchanakwa, who is STILL roaring his last lament! And Alejandro’s eyes glaze over in complete JEALOUSY and RAGE!!!! (Confessional) Alejandro angrily says: “Bridgette loves that thing?!!! Bridgette loves THAT THING?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I always knew she was a flighty, pointless, animal lover or some such non-sense, but to go out of her WAY to love some FILTHY creature, just to SPITE ME?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s where I draw the LINE!!!! Well, if I CAN’T have Bridgette, than I’m not going to let some STUPID ape thing have her EITHER!!!!” / Bridgette sighs and says: “I had no other choice. No matter what, I could NOT allow Alejandro to win! I couldn’t LIVE with myself if he DID!” / Chris says: “On the one hand, I know that I’ve just been vindicated! On the other hand, I think the Angry Mob just found a NEW outlet to unleash their vigilante justice on, and it’s NOT going to be pretty, especially if they have anything to say about it! And I’m PRETTY sure that some of them DO!” (End Confessional) Blainely asks: “Is it VICIOUS?!” Bridgette says: “You MUST give me a chance to explain! He is not a monster! If you knew him the way I did, you’d see the good soul inside of him! He’s really special!” Alejandro angrily asks: “What are you BLABBING about now?! The way YOU talk, people would actually think you CARED for that THING!!!!”

Bridgette defiantly says: “I care more for HIM, than I will EVER care for anyone like YOU; a low-life, narcissistic, scheming Machiavellian PSYCHOPATH!!!!” (Confessional) Alejandro angrily says: “Now Bridgette has the NERVE to insult ME?!!! And to call ME on the CARPET?!!! How DARE she?!!! Well, it’s no longer simply enough to simply HUMILIATE her NOW!!!! I must DESTROY the very creature she ‘loves!’ If I CAN’T have a HAPPY ending, than NOBODY CAN!!!!!!!!!” / Bridgette sighs and says: “It felt so GOOD to get that disgusting VILE out of my system! Now my soul is clean, and the healing can begin.” (End Confessional) Alejandro GRABS the Enchanted Mirror AWAY from Bridgette, and Alejandro angrily says: “You’re just as BAD as YOUR father!” (Confessional) Alejandro says: “If there’s one thing I know how to do very well BESIDES hunting down whatever I WANT, it’s getting an angry mob to do exactly what I WANT; in SONG!!!!” (End Confessional) /

Alejandro: “The Beast will make off with your children! He'll come after them in the night!” Bridgette: “No!” Alejandro: “We're not safe until his head is mounted on my wall! I say we kill the Beast!” Jacques and Josse: “Kill him! Kill him!” Dave: “We're not safe until he's dead!” Cody: “He'll come stalking us at night!” Taylor: “Set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite!” Don: “He'll wreak havoc on our village if we let him wander free!” Alejandro: “So it's time to take some action, boys! It's time to follow me! Through the mist, through the woods, through the darkness and the shadows, it's a nightmare, but it is one exciting ride! Say a prayer, then we're there, at the drawbridge of a castle and there's something truly terrible inside! It's a beast! He's got fangs, razor sharp ones! Massive paws, killer claws for the feast! Hear him roar, see him foam! But we're not coming home until he's dead; good and dead! Kill the Beast!” Bridgette: “No! I won't let you do this!” Alejandro: “If you're not with us, you're against us! Bring the old man!” Chris: “Get your hands off me!” (Alejandro throws Chris into a cellar.) Alejandro: “We can't have them running off to warn the creature!” (Alejandro throws Bridgette into a cellar, and LOCKS it from the outside!) Bridgette: “Let us out!” Aleandro: “We'll rid the village of this Beast! Who's with me?!” Justin, Max, and Mal: “I am! I am! I am!” The Angry Mob: “Light your torch, mount your horse!” Alejandro: “Screw your courage to the sticking place!” The Angry Mob: “We'll all let Alejandro lead the way. Through a mist, through a wood, where within a haunted castle, something's lurking that you don't see every day! It's a beast, one as tall as a mountain; we won't rest until he's good and deceased! Sally forth, tally ho! Grab your sword, grab your bow! Praise the Lord and here we go!” Alejandro: “We'll lay siege to the castle and bring back his head!” Bridgette: “I have to warn Sasquatchankwa! This is all my fault! Oh Papa, what are we going to do?” Chris: “Now, now, we'll think of something!” And Cameron sees Chris Maclean’s Axe chopping machine! Cameron says: “That’s it!”

The Angry Mob: “We don't like what we don't understand; in fact, it scares us! And this monster is mysterious, at least. Bring your guns, bring your knives, save your children and your wives! We'll save our village and our lives! We'll kill the Beast!” (Lightning strikes and rain starts falling!) Noah: “I knew it! I knew it was foolish to get our hopes up!” Trent: “Maybe it would have been better if she had never come at all!” (The footstool seal barks.) Trent: “Could it be?” LaShawna: “Is it she?” Trent: “Sacre Bleu! Invaders!” Noah: “Encroachers!” LaShawna: “And they have the mirror!” Gwen: “Warn the Master!” Noah: “If it's a fight they want, we'll be ready for them! Who's with me?!”

Alejandro: “Take whatever booty you can find! But remember, Sasquatchankwa is mine!” Enchanted Objects: “Hearts ablaze, banners high, we go marching into battle. Unafraid, although the danger just increased!” Alejandro and the Angry Mob: “Raise the flag, sing the song; here we come, we're fifteen strong! And fifteen Frenchmen can't be wrong! Let's kill the Beast!” (SLAM!!!!) LaShawna: “Pardon me, Master.” Sasquatchankwa: “Leave me in peace.” LaShawna: “But sir! The castle is under attack!” The Angry Mob: “Kill the Beast! Kill the Beast!” Trent: “This isn't working!” Gwen: “Oh Trent, we must do something!” Trent: “Wait, I know!” The Angry Mob: “Kill the Beast! Kill the Beast!” LaShawna: “What shall we do, master?” Sasquatchankwa: “It doesn't matter now, just let them come.” Alejandro and the Angry Mob: “Kill the Beast! Kill the Beast! Kill the Beast!” / And the song ends when the doors suddenly open up by themselves, and the Angry Mob sees NO resistance standing in front of them! (Confessional) Alejandro says: “I don’t know what kind of strategy this Sasquatchankwa thing has…IF, he has ANY! But if he does have a strategy, I’m going to be ready for it! I know I could kill him instantly with a shotgun, but where would the fun in that be? I want to hunt him down, man to man, and settle this with a much more MASCULINE weapon, like a bow or arrow, or a club, or a knife! Any way you slice it, it doesn’t matter HOW I kill him, just so long as I KILL him!” (End Confessional) /

Act Five, Scene Two: Battle for the Castle!                 Alejandro and the Angry Mob are in the Castle. Although they see a bunch of objects scattered around, they are not immediately concerned. But when Scott touches Trent, the candelabra yells: “ATTACK!!!!” And the Enchanted Objects spring forth and start attacking the Angry Mob in ANY way they can! (Confessional) Alejandro says: “I could probably clear out this riff-raff in a matter of minutes, but these trivial things do not interest me. I came here for only ONE job, to KILL Sasquatchankwa! I’ll clear out the REST of the trash, LATER!” (End Confessional) Alejandro says: “I’ll deal with YOU later!” And Alejandro sneaks THROUGH the battle to FIND Sasquatchankwa! / Meanwhile, Cameron has gotten Chris Maclean’s axe chopping machine all prepped! Cameron says: “It’s a good thing I read all those library books about mechanics! Let’s hope that reading has paid off! Here goes NOTHING!” And Cameron gets the Axe-Chopping Machine started, and rolls it towards the locked cellar. Chris asks: “Is THAT what I THINK it is?!” Cameron yells: “MOVE! I don’t have any BREAKS on this THING!!!!” Chris nervously yells: “Out of the WAY!” The Axe Chopping Machine chops AWAY the cellar door, then rolls DOWN into the cellar, making a small explosion in the process. Cameron coughs and says: “THAT…was one WILD ride! Can you take me back to the Castle, now?” (Confessional) Cameron says: “I know that wasn’t the SAFEST way to rescue Bridgette and Chris, but Bridgette needs to get back to the castle FAST!!!! The Enchanted Rose has already LOST 70% of its petals! It is on its LAST legs! And if we don’t get there soon enough, Bridgette will be a day LATE and a Franc short!” / Bridgette says: “I’ve seen that Sasquatchankwa is a good fighter. He MUST be to fight off an entire WOLF pack! I just hope he’s prepared for any kind of dirty tricks that Alejandro might have in mind.” / Chris says: “It’s nice to see that my machine had a practical use AFTER all, besides chopping firewood. But I’m MAD at Alejandro! I’m riding with Bridgette to FIND Alejandro, and I plan on giving HIM a piece of my mind! But not too BIG a piece, I plan on USING most of MY mind!” (End Confessional)

Back at the Castle, the Enchanted Objects continue their relentless defense of the castle. Although the Angry Mob is resilient, they are no match for LaShawna’s scalding HOT tea attack, or Jasmine’s CRUSHING Wardrobe slam! / Meanwhile, Alejandro is searching for Alejandro, but not turning up ANYTHING so far! (Confessional) Alejandro says: “There sure is a lot of ground to cover in this castle! But Sasquatchankwa can’t hide forever! I ALWAYS get MY quarry!” (End Confessional) / Jasmine uses her drawers to attack MORE of the Angry Mob, and CAPTURES a distasteful man INSIDE of herself! Jasmine says: “I think YOU need a MAKEOVER!” And Don comes out, SHOCKED to find himself looking like a Japanese Geisha! / Meanwhile, Noah uses a SHARP pair of scissors, to POKE Scott in the butt, as Scott is THREATENING Trent! The scissors REALLY hurt, as Scott screams: “YOWCH!!!!” (Confessional) Scott says: “Note to self, being a part of an Angry Mob, can be REALLY painful!” / Noah says: “As of right now, Trent now officially OWES me!” / Trent sighs and says: “Noah is NEVER going to let ME hear the end of THAT one!” (End Confessional) Bridgette, Chris, and Cameron are GALLOPING on Ace, making their way BACK to Sasquatchankwa’s castle as FAST as they can! (Confessional) Bridgette says: “Oh, I HOPE I’m NOT too LATE!” / Cameron says: “I sure hope Bridgette is NOT too LATE!” (End Confessional) Jacques is attacking Gwen, and Gwen says: “Those are MY feathers! They DON’T grow BACK, you JERK!” Trent says: “UNHAND her at ONCE!!!!” And Trent BURNS Jacques with his prop candles! Gwen sighs and says: “Thank you for that!” Trent asks: “Can I treat you to a dinner once this battle is over?” Gwen happily says: “Anything for MY hero!” (Confessional) Gwen says: “I always KNEW Trent would prove to be my knight in shining armor! It’s SO nice to see that I’m right!” / Trent says: “It’s nice to know that at least SOMEBODY has found the love of their life in the castle. If Bridgette comes back, we’ll all be golden! Whatever ‘golden’ means, I am not sure, but we’ll all be GOLDEN!” (End Confessional) Scott and the rest of the Angry Mob are chasing after the Footstool Seal, as it has STOLEN one of Scott’s shoes! The Footstool seal ducks into a seemingly dead-end room, and the Angry Mob moves in for the KILL! But Chef Hatchet and a bunch of SHARP knives and FORKS are waiting for them! Chef Hatchet scarily shouts: “SCRAM!!!!” And that is enough to FRIGHTEN the Angry Mob AWAY from the castle, as they run off in the RAIN, not caring about how wet and rainy it is, but just WANTING to get away from the castle as fast as they can! The Enchanted Objects cheer, having WON their very important battle! Noah says: “And don’t let us EVER see YOU around here EVER again!” Trent says: “My HERO!” Noah seriously says: “DON’T get CLINGY!” (Confessional) Noah says: “If there’s one thing that I know for SURE, is that guys DEFINITELY, do NOT hug in the 18th Century! That’s really NOT something I want to be seen DOING, or being DONE to me!” / Trent says: “I was trying to show Noah some appreciation! Seriously, some guys don’t know how to take thanks when they get it!” (End Confessional)

Act Five, Scene Three: The Showdown!         Alejandro walks into the West Wing and SPOTS Sasquatchankwa! Alejandro says: “At long last, I’ve FOUND you!” But all Sasquatchankwa can do is STARE at the Enchanted Rose, which has now lost 75% of its petals. Alejandro asks: “Are you going to surrender quietly, or are you going to STRUGGLE like a HELPLESS creature?!” But all Sasquatchankwa can do is sigh in sadness. Alejandro says: “Very well, I’ll decide FOR you!” And Alejandro SHOOTS an arrow RIGHT into Sasquatchankwa’s back! (Confessional)

Sasquatchankwa asks: “Is it really TOO much to want to be left ALONE?! It’s getting so that NOBODY respects privacy ANYMORE!” / Alejandro says: “This is all…rather anticlimactic. I was REALLY hoping he would at LEAST try to escape! No matter, this just makes it EASIER for me when they REALIZE that they are DOOMED!!!!” (End Confessional) Sasquatchankwa roars out in pain, and Alejandro UPPERCUTS Sasquatchankwa RIGHT through a glass window! Alejandro FEIGNS guilt and says: “OOPS! I sure hope THAT was INSURED!!!!” (Confessional) Sasquatchankwa asks: “Seriously?! Who in their right mind would INSURE the castle of an APE creature?!” / Alejandro GLADLY says: “I’m not going to kill this inferior creature right away, I want him to SUFFER first! It makes it feel SO much more SATISFYING to watch my quarry SQUIRM and BEG for mercy, only for ME to not GIVE any! I just LOVE being NASTY!!!!” (End Confessional) Alejandro than KICKS Sasquatchankwa onto a lower ROOF of the castle, and Alejandro jumps after him. Alejandro NOTICES that Sasquatchankwa is laying on a narrow ledge, on the precipice of the roof! Alejandro shouts: “Come on! Put up your dukes! (KICKS!!!!) Put up your dukes! Is THIS the end you TRULY want?! To die a MISERABLE death, all because you’re too compassionate to even DEFEND yourself?!” (Confessional) Sasquatchankwa asks: “What’s the point in the struggle? I have nothing left for me ANYWAYS!” / Alejandro groans, and angrily asks: “How DARE this creature?! Bad enough that Bridgette LIKES him, but he won’t even give me the satisfaction of actually BEATING him in combat?! No matter! There’s nobody else around, so no one will EVER know the difference! I’ll just make UP a story about my struggle with Sasquatchankwa! I’ve already got LOADS of potential possible scenarios PLANNED in my MIND!” (End Confessional)

Sasquatchankwa merely groans in pity and self-defeat. Aleajandro says: “So BE it! I’ll take care of you NOW, instead of LATER!” And Alejandro BREAKS off a spiky portion of the roof, and slowly moves in for the kill! At that PRECISE moment, Bridgette and Chris arrive down BELOW the castle! Bridgette yells: “STOP!!!!” Sasquatchankwa gasps and says: “It’s Bridgette!” Bridgette yells: “Alejandro, don’t DO it!” But just as Alejandro TRIES to swing his make-shift club to knock Sasquatchankwa out, Sasquatchankwa GRABS the club in his hands, not only MATCHING Alejandro’s strength, but SURPASSING it, SHOCKING even Alejandro! (Confessional) Sasquatchankwa gasps and says: “So THAT’S why this assassin has come for me; because of Bridgette! Well, you can try to MAIM me, you can try to DESTROY my property! But when you try to hurt one HAIR on the head that is BRIDGETTE; that is when I get really MAD!!!! And I’m NOT going to let this creep get away with pushing HER around ANYMORE!!!!” / Alejandro gasps and says: “Impossible! There is no mere mortal on Earth that is stronger than ME!!!! He HAS to be some sort of terrible DEMON that I’m fighting! It’s the ONLY explanation!” / Bridgette says: “It looks like I got here in the nick of time! I just hope Sasquatchankwa goes EASY on Alejandro! Because I want to be the one who PERSONALLY puts Alejandro behind BARS for what he tried to do to MY father!” (End Confessional) Bridgette says: “Ace, do the pleasures!” And Ace KICKS the doors of the castle in, so that Bridgette can get in! Meanwhile, Alejandro and Sasquatchankwa really GO for it against each other, both of them knowing that this is ONE battle neither of them can REALLY afford to lose! Bridgette hurries up the stairs as fast as she can, as Alejandro and Sasquatchankwa find themselves in a row of black raven statues! Alejandro swings his club, only to knock the HEAD off of one of the statues! Alejandro shouts: “Show your FACE, if you’re not a COWARD!!!!”

(Confessional) Alejandro says: “I have NEVER run from a fight before in my life, and I’m not ABOUT to start NOW! If Sasquatchankwa thinks he can actually defeat me, he’s got another thing coming! I’m GOING to win! I HAVE to win! I AM the good guy!” / Sasquatchankwa says: “That’s right, just act like the smug, arrogant jerk that you are and let your guard down. That will get you far; in a parallel land where being a smug, arrogant jerk ACTUALLY gets you what you WANT!” (End Confessional) The lightning strikes and Alejandro asks: “Did you actually CARE for Bridgette, DEMON?! Do you ACTUALLY think she’d love YOU?! When I was ALREADY the ONLY GUY in HER LIFE?!!!!” Saquatchankwa says: “As a matter of fact, YES!!!!” Alejandro swings, but MISSES! Sasquatchankwa bites DOWN on the club, but Alejandro SWINGS him off! Alejandro says: “Give it UP, Sasquatchankwa! I’ve WON!!!!” Sasquatchankwa angrily says: “The name is GEOFF!!!!” And this startles Alejandro so much, he DROPS his club, and Sasquatchankwa GRABS Alejandro by the neck, and DANGLES Alejandro over the EDGE of the castle (the back of the stage) and Alejandro nervously pleads: “Don’t do this! PLEASE don’t do this! I didn’t mean it! Let me go, and I can give you whatever you want! I’ll GIVE you whatever YOU want!” And the biggest bolt of LIGHTNING strikes in the air! And Sasquatchankwa is angrily holding Alejandro by the neck, but then, Sasquatchankwa gasps in realization! (Confessional) Sasquatchankwa says: “It would have been very easy for me, to drop Alejandro off the cliff. But in that moment, I saw a glimpse of the monster I USED to be, INSIDE of Alejandro. If I kill this man now, I’ll be no better than he is. I’ll give him the one thing he’s probably NEVER gotten in his life; I’m going to give him MERCY, which is more than he deserves! His pride has been shattered, that’s more than enough of a punishment for HIM! I’ll be the better man, and take the moral high road in this situation.” (End Confessional) Sasquatchankwa takes Alejandro back over the safety of the roof, and merely whispers: “Run away, sir. Run, run away, and NEVER return!” And Sasquatchankwa TOSSES Alejandro to the side! Bridgette appears on the balcony and says: “You’re safe!” Sasquatchankwa says: “You’re here!” And Sasquatchankwa climbs up toward Bridgette, completely FORGETTING about Alejandro! Sasquatchankwa reaches for Bridgette, and their hands touch. Sasquatchankwa happily says: “You returned!” And they are smiling together, until the two of them both hear the sound of a SICKENING… (SLICE!!!!) And Alejandro has STABBED Sasqautchankwa in the back! (Confessional) Alejandro says: “Let’s just say I’m willing to do ANYTHING to WIN! And I DO mean anything! Even if that means momentarily showing a sign of ‘weakness’ to my enemy! Now all I have to do is FINISH him OFF!” / Bridgette angrily says: “How DARE he?! Well, there’s a special place in PURGATORY reserved for people like Alejandro!” (End Confessional)

Alejandro prepares to STAB Sasquathcankwa again, but Alejandro SLIPS and loses his balance, all because of the rain, and he FALLS several stories, down to his HORRIBLE end! /

Act Five, Scene Four: The Reveal.      Bridgette pulls Sasquatchankwa back onto the balcony, but the fight has hurt MORE than just Sasquatchankwa, it accelerated the Rose’s already precarious position, as it’s down to its LAST four petals! Sasquatchankwa coughs, and groaning, says: “You returned.” Bridgette says: “I HAD to return! There was no way…if only I could’ve gotten here just a little sooner!” Sasquatchankwa sighs and says: “You don’t need to worry about me. It’s just enough to have you here, right now, by my side.”

Bridgette says: “You have MORE than that! I can patch you up! I’ll fix you up and you’ll be back to normal again! Just like before!” Sasquatchankwa weakly says: “I’ll always remember you. No matter where I go, or where I end up, I’ll always be thankful…for the time…we had…together.” And Sasquatchankwa collapses unconscious! Bridgette gasps and says: “You can’t be gone! You just CAN’T be! I only just got back! And I…I love you!” And no sooner does Bridgette say this, than do the last three petals fall off the rose, seemingly ending the magic. But instead, a BUNCH of magic flows THROUGH the air, as the rain turns into bright LIGHT, FLASHING through the sky! And Bridgette backs away, as Sasquatchankwa begins…CHANGING; RIGHT before her eyes! His ape hands turn into HUMAN hands, his ape feet turn into HUMAN feet! But what is MOST amazing, is that his ape body and ape face, turn into a HUMAN Body and a HUMAN Face! The lights stop flashing, and the newly humanized Sasquatchankwa turns around, and REVEALS himself to Bridgette! Geoff says: “You did it! I’m back!” Bridgette says: “I’ve SEEN you somewhere before! A long time ago, like a distant memory.” Than when she SEES Geoff’s eyes, she REMEMBERS! Bridgette says: “You were the PRINCE in the painting!” Geoff says: “I’m sorry we couldn’t tell you before. It was part of the condition of the spell I was under. The only way to break the spell, was if someone fell in love for what was INSIDE of me, not what I was, before the transformation. And I’m sorry that I didn’t get to properly introduce myself before. I’m Prince Geoff Adam, and I love you to. Maybe someday, I can give you a real LIFE adventure, like the ones you always read about.” Bridgette happily says: “You already HAVE, Geoff, and WE both won!” And they romantically kiss each other, and the spell breaks all over the castle. The dark, Gothic exterior, changes into a more serene, peaceful, Neo-Roman inspired exterior. And the Enchanted objects begin to SHED their enchanted appearance, returning to human! Geoff says: “Trent! Noah! LaShawna! Jasmine! Gwen! We’re all back!” Cameron says: “LaShawna, it’s HAPPENING!” And both Cameron and the footstool seal revert back to normal! LaShawna says: “It truly HAS happened!” Trent says: “It’s SO romantic!!!!” /

Epilogue:         A few weeks have passed, and Prince Geoff and the newly married Princess Bridgette, are dressed in their regal best again, hosting a gala dance event, to celebrate the beginning of a new era, and a new life together. Trent says: “So, as the old saying goes, ‘Love conquers all’.” Gwen says: “You’ve got THAT right, Trent!” Trent says: “I’ve been waiting ten YEARS to hug YOU again! Now, I finally can!” Noah says: “Well, there’s no time like the present to patch things up. I’m big enough of a man to admit that you WERE right all along! Bridgette WAS the one!” Trent says: “Honestly, it was just a lucky GUESS! I never expected for things to unfold like that!” Noah says: “That’s NOT what you were saying a few weeks ago! You absolutely KNEW that there was no one else BESIDES Bridgette! RIGHT?!” Trent seriously says: “This conversation is over.” And he leaves to dance with Gwen. Noah sighs and says: “And yet again, I have no one to call my own.” A new girl giggles and says: “Not necessarily.” And Noah GASPS in admiration. The cute, Chinese girl says: “My name is Emma!” Noah says: “Than again, love DOES spring eternal!” Cameron says: “So I guess they get to live happily ever after. Right, LaShawna?” LaShawna says: “That’s the plan, Cameron. That’s the plan.” Cameron asks: “I’m not going to have to sleep in the kitchen, anymore, am I?” Chris chuckles and says: “Oh, Cameron!” /

The chorus sings: “Certain as the sun, rising in the east. Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the Beast. Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the Beast! Oh, OH!!!!”

The End!

End Credits song: Mariah Carey and Justin Timberlake perform a rendition of “Beauty and the Beast.” / Mariah Carey: “Ooh! Tale as old as time. True as it can be. Barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly!” Justin Timberlake: “Just a little change. Small, to say the least, both a little scared, neither one prepared.” Both: “Beauty and the Beast. Ever just the same, ever a surprise. Ever as before!” Mariah: “Ever just as sure!” Both: “As the sun will rise!” Justin: “Oh, oh, OH! OH!!!!” (Instrumental solo) Mariah: “Oh, OH!!!!” Both: “Ever just the same!” Justin: “Ever a surprise!” Both: “Ever as before!” Mariah: “Ever just as sure!” Both: “As the sun will rise!” Justin: “Oh! OH!!!!” Mariah: “Tale as old as time. Tune as old as song.” Both: “Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change, learning you were wrong.” Justin: “Certain as the sun.” Mariah: “Certain as the sun.” Justin: “Rising in the east!” Mariah: “Tale as old as time.” Justin: “Song as old as rhyme.” Both: “Beauty and the Beast.” Mariah: “Tale as old as time.” Justin: “Song as old as rhyme.” Both: “Beauty and the Beast!” Justin: “Woah! WOAH!!!!” (Instrumental finish) Mariah: “OOH!!!!” Both: “Beauty and the Beast.” /

I'd just like to say thank you on behalf of this website, and HOPE that I PASSED the audition! :D Enough said, true believers! ;)

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