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Being the "smart kid"


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Disclaimer: I copied this post directly from my post on SBM, and since a lot of you guys on here are adults or in your late teens, apologies if some of the stuff I'm saying doesn't apply to you anymore lol

 

I'm sure lots of you guys can relate to being the "smart kid". You get A's and B's constantly. You never really need to study. People always turn to you when they wanna know something. I certainly used to be one of those people big-time. It's been toned down a bit, but I still have plenty of it left in me. I hope you guys can relate, because I recently came to a bit of an epiphany about always being labeled based on intelligence:

 

Doesn't being labeled the smart kid actually kind of suck?

 

I mean, during elementary school and middle school, I embraced the living crap out of it. I was the "human encyclopedia", y'know? People were always impressed by the facts I knew, cuz I guess my brain was that good. Last year though, in 9th grade, I stumbled upon crap that honestly kind of horrified me. I kept hearing stories about people just like me when they were in grade school, but then it turns out that these people being labeled smart actually fall flat on their face basically right away once they have to deal with college and jobs. These kinds of people are so occupied with natural intelligence that they learn to believe that you never really need to work. Because of this, when college suddenly gives them a genuine challenge that they need to work their butts off over, it just doesn't work for them and their work ethic basically disintegrates.

 

I guess I first became self-conscious about it in a Gravity Falls episode where Dipper said something along the lines of "If I'm not the smart guy, who am I?" That really hits close to home for me, and I guess it was driven even further when my older brother also tried to push this on me, telling me not to make my intelligence an actual part of me. That never hurt me in the long run though; what really screwed me over was actually hearing about these real-life scenarios of people essentially failing at life because their ego and "intelligence" got the best of them.

 

For a few months up until a day or two ago, I felt really insecure about it for obvious reasons. I am that person, and if I don't change, I'm gonna suck for the rest of my life. How can I live with that dread? Then I started reading a couple of articles about it yesterday and today, and it helped a WHOLE lot on how I view being smart.

 

The ultimate thing I seemed to learn from it is to just straight-up STOP congratulating myself for being smart. I'm starting sophomore year of high school in about a month, so I have 3 more years of high school to practice this. I'm gonna take honors classes that are even tougher than the freshman ones. At this point, I'm just about done with taking any glory in knowing stuff, and even more importantly, just accepting if I screw up on something. The problem that I noticed amongst all of the talk about "smart kids" is that it's really tough for them to accept failure of any kind; it hurts them a lot more than it helps them. To me, though, I basically realized that I am going to destroy myself if I take failure as something harmful.

 

I'm sure this is a long shot talking about this through the internet, especially as a 15-year-old, but to any of you guys reading this who have shifted their focus much more on "smart" rather than working hard to make something great, please stop. You're not gonna help yourself, stop being proud of being smart. It's completely useless right now if you're not going to put honest-to-god effort into something. I'm not trying to be preachy, as I'm essentially saying this to myself too, and I apologize if I do come off as that. The problem is that focusing too much on intelligence is practically a disease. I need to badly fight it, and a lot of you guys probably need to fight it, too. If you want to label yourself as "smart", do it after you worked HARD on something.

 

Now I'm not above this statement, I have a LOT of work to do, as I'm definitely still at least halfway into the "I'm smart" mindset. I just want to give my thoughts on all of this, because I have faith in you "smart kids" out there that it isn't too late to change that and make yourself a dedicated worker who finds the GOOD in failure instead of being a slack-off genius who sees failure in one task as a failure in life. Failure means you have room to improve. I really hope I listen to my own advice and manage to improve myself a whole lot for the next three years of high school so I can prepare myself for college, since I finally learned that my natural talent won't cut it.

 

 

 

Now that I poured out all of my own thoughts, what do you guys think about this whole plague of being smart instead of working hard?

 

Also, here is the article I read that helped the most on this kind of epiphany. I bet some of you will enjoy it. http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/

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My parents had always considered me smart enough to take "advanced classes" in middle school (which was essentially extra work but it was somewhat fun) and now I go to a further away vocational/technical school for the "more intelligent" kids. I take being called smart as a compliment although being human I'm always hard on myself and see what I could've done better rather than look at the positives of a grade or test score. I jokingly call myself "dumb" a lot as many people do :P The thing is, I don't thinking knowing things, whether it be history or geometry, etc. is being smart. I can't say I know what I'd define being smart as really, but I guess just a sensible and reasonable person honestly. (idk) I take pride in studying, doing homework, TRYING, working hard, making a effort over knowing some useless facts I'll forget in a month. I feel those that I listed are characteristics you can use to help you succeed in school or even work, I suppose. Last year, I wasn't doing as well in Algebra compared to my other classes. I would have felt guilty if I didn't try at all. But at least I had a tutor, studied, did all my work, etc. even if I didn't do too great in the end, so I feel decent about my work ethic.

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I can relate to this. I know some of my peers who consider me "intelligent", and although I did maintain good grades (i.e A's and B's), being intelligent isn't what I'm trying to focus right now. My main goal is related to studying, exams, and my grades. I WILL be honest though, people calling me intelligent is probably why I received poor grades in the first few quarters, and maybe that could be blamed for my lack of studying this year. I hope when school starts this year, I can improve my academics and my efforts as a whole.  

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Well, yeah, this is the same with pretty much every aspect of life and it just boils down to learning how to be humble. If you begin to think no one can challenge you, or you're not getting challenged - whether that's on a test, when you draw, when you play an instrument, or whatever - then you won't feel the need to challenge yourself because, well, if no one else is going to, why should you waste time proving a point that you don't think needs to be made? And if you get an ego over it, then that's even worse, because not only will reality come to catch you sooner rather than later, people won't like you for flaunting natural talents, and then when reality does come catch you, you won't even have those natural talents to back yourself up. You'll be more bark than bite, and you're not gonna know how the fuck that happened because you thought you were doing everything right.

You have to show that you're the best at what you do without actually believing you are. If you start believing it then that should be a wake up call telling you that you aren't.

So, yeah. Good luck. This feeling will last for, oh, say, the rest of your life, give or take.

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4 minutes ago, terminoob said:

You have to show that you're the best at what you do without actually believing you are. If you start believing it then that should be a wake up call telling you that you aren't.

This part is a bit confusing to me. Are you trying to say that if I make myself think that I'm on the same level as everyone else then it'll be easier to be even more successful, or am I getting this all wrong?

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38 minutes ago, Halibut said:

This part is a bit confusing to me. Are you trying to say that if I make myself think that I'm on the same level as everyone else then it'll be easier to be even more successful, or am I getting this all wrong?

Do amazing work. Don't have an ego about it.

If you think you're totally amazing and you go to take a test, and you get an A, then you're not going to keep trying to do better because why the hell would you - you got an A, you got the best grade you could possibly get, you're not going to get an F, you don't have it in you even though you didn't study.

If you don't think you're totally amazing and you go to take a test, and you get an A, then you're going to keep trying to do better because you'll still know you aren't the best and you could get an F at any time because maybe this test was on something you happened to know really well and maybe it's the only thing you knew really well so you have to study harder next time because you won't know the material on the next test.

What mindset do you think you'll need if you want to ensure you're going to get an F?

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9 minutes ago, terminoob said:

Do amazing work. Don't have an ego about it.

If you think you're totally amazing and you go to take a test, and you get an A, then you're not going to keep trying to do better because why the hell would you - you got an A, you got the best grade you could possibly get, you're not going to get an F, you don't have it in you even though you didn't study.

If you don't think you're totally amazing and you go to take a test, and you get an A, then you're going to keep trying to do better because you'll still know you aren't the best and you could get an F at any time because maybe this test was on something you happened to know really well and maybe it's the only thing you knew really well so you have to study harder next time because you won't know the material on the next test.

What mindset do you think you'll need if you want to ensure you're going to get an F?

Maybe I'm just trying to switch the blame to someone else, but I feel like a lot of that ego problem, like I said in my initial post, was being labeled as the smart one by others all the time growing up, so I admit that I do have an ego because of that. It's not simple to switch out of that mindset when you grew up with it, though I am working on it. High school seems to be the time where it's most important for me to change. I wonder if it would help if I told my parents not to make a deal when I get good grades and such and just kinda leave me alone with it, so I can judge myself instead of them congratulating me by handing me some kind of reward.

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I believe in using your intellegence for your exams but only if you work hard. Being smart can be a benefit but only if you use it for proper study. Because my parents and others always praise me as a smart person but I know that they always tell me that you can't always rely on your intellegence, so you need to study as well and oh boy, I've heard of that countless times. And I know I've been a victim of not studying, although i had more reasons than just relying on my intellegence on why I didn't have enough motivation to study. I still had that believe in using my intellegence only but I also had enough with studing because in our days, we had to pass 3 exams in 3 years to earn a good high school in in first two years, my arms got broken (right in first, left in second) for dumb situations i brought on myself (how ironic) and those times hit me hard enough to lose my motivation. those were also years I started to have an obsession over Inrernet, so that adds up to losing motivation too. No matter which situation are you in, you can't achieve if you don't work hard enough. Next month, I'm gonna start first class in college and I have to be prepared for anything and word hard to get it right for my future. So yeah, I can definitely relate to being smart but a lazy person but I still believe in using your intellegence as bonus. Although being praised too much for your intellegence isn't good, dedinitely agreed and failure isn't a bad thing since there's still improvement you can do, being smart can still be a really good thing too imo.

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11 hours ago, Halibut said:

Maybe I'm just trying to switch the blame to someone else, but I feel like a lot of that ego problem, like I said in my initial post, was being labeled as the smart one by others all the time growing up, so I admit that I do have an ego because of that. It's not simple to switch out of that mindset when you grew up with it, though I am working on it. High school seems to be the time where it's most important for me to change. I wonder if it would help if I told my parents not to make a deal when I get good grades and such and just kinda leave me alone with it, so I can judge myself instead of them congratulating me by handing me some kind of reward.

Here is how I sorta view it Hal: there is no denying that your intelligence does give you an advantage, and unfortunately sometimes even those with an ego about their intelligence make it big in the world. However, not having an ego will ALWAYS do you well and make you a much more likeable person. Not all situations neccessarily benefit from intelligence--I doubt people at auto conventions care as much abour your intelligence as they do your auto love--and being a sociable person who can adapt and befriend various people is crucial for both professional success and personal happiness.

Unfortunately, the horror stories you hear about smart people doing bad in college and jobs is true. In fact, a lot of college dropouts are unmotivated, smart students, not those srudents who are too dumb to pass (less common than we often think). Intelligence is great but you need to apply hard work to truly use it, and that applies to all natural talents really. I am not really worried about ya though: you are actively trying to humble yourself and you realize that when you go to college, you will have many kids who are smarter than you. You just have to make the best of you can do and really work it and offer your own unique twist.

And I don't think you are *just* a human encyclopedia. You have a knowledge and interest in music that far surpasses the scope of your average music listener, you have a keen interest in automobiles and the industry as noted earlier, and you are overall quite an interesting person to talk to. Your intelligence is one of many things that makes you who you are and it is important to embrace the unique combo that everything, big or small, makes you. 

Failure is tough to deal with and thats okay, however, you will be much happier if you learn to accept it. Learn how to find the important stuff in both your failures AND successes. Take condescending criticism and unearned praise (things like "this was the worst thing ever and it sucked or Hoho you so smart bb) with a grain of salt. Learn from the genuinely earned praises from hard work and the CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. I get why you feel your initial post sounds harsh but labels can be dangerous and what sounds like positive praise such as smart kid or athletic kid often get to people and it can be very hsrd to unlearn said label. You're not the "smart kid", you're an interesting, funny music-loving kid who is also smart. 

For those of you who feel you have nothing going for yourself, tbh, you probably have a lot going for yourself that others already notice--you just have not noticed yourself. Maybe you weren't born naturally smart, but there are tons of not so smart people doing big things; they got there by working hard, working on their confidence, and doing more than was expected of them. And i am sure everyone has their own individual talents when combined.

 

Tl;dr work hard and make sure you are well rounded, genuine, and kind 

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1 minute ago, E.V.I.L said:

Here is how I sorta view it Hal: there is no denying that your intelligence does give you an advantage, and unfortunately sometimes even those with an ego about their intelligence make it big in the world. However, not having an ego will ALWAYS do you well and make you a much more likeable person. Not all situations neccessarily benefit from intelligence--I doubt people at auto conventions care as much abour your intelligence as they do your auto love--and being a sociable person who can adapt and befriend various people is crucial for both professional success and personal happiness.

Unfortunately, the horror stories you hear about smart people doing bad in college and jobs is true. In fact, a lot of college dropouts are unmotivated, smart students, not those srudents who are too dumb to pass (less common than we often think). Intelligence is great but you need to apply hard work to truly use it, and that applies to all natural talents really. I am not really worried about ya though: you are actively trying to humble yourself and you realize that when you go to college, you will have many kids who are smarter than you. You just have to make the best of you can do and really work it and offer your own unique twist.

And I don't think you are *just* a human encyclopedia. You have a knowledge and interest in music that far surpasses the scope of your average music listener, you have a keen interest in automobiles and the industry as noted earlier, and you are overall quite an interesting person to talk to. Your intelligence is one of many things that makes you who you are and it is important to embrace the unique combo that everything, big or small, makes you. 

Failure is tough to deal with and thats okay, however, you will be much happier if you learn to accept it. Learn how to find the important stuff in both your failures AND successes. Take condescending criticism and unearned praise (things like "this was the worst thing ever and it sucked or Hoho you so smart bb) with a grain of salt. Learn from the genuinely earned praises from hard work and the CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. I get why you feel your initial post sounds harsh but labels can be dangerous and what sounds like positive praise such as smart kid or athletic kid often get to people and it can be very hsrd to unlearn said label. You're not the "smart kid", you're an interesting, funny music-loving kid who is also smart. 

For those of you who feel you have nothing going for yourself, tbh, you probably have a lot going for yourself that others already notice--you just have not noticed yourself. Maybe you weren't born naturally smart, but there are tons of not so smart people doing big things; they got there by working hard, working on their confidence, and doing more than was expected of them. And i am sure everyone has their own individual talents when combined.

 

Tl;dr work hard and make sure you are well rounded, genuine, and kind 

I'd like this post twice if I could. This is such an assuring post, and so are a lot of the ones in this topic.

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Often times, those who perceive themselves as the 'smart kid' are only intellectual on a piece of paper with some questions on it. Because they've always said that they're the smart kid, they often never learned social skills because they give off a cocky demeanor that turns people off. I of course know this because for a long time I was always the one to assume they were smarter/better than everyone else, but in reality, the opposite seemed to be true. 

Being 'the smart kid' only made school harder for me than it should have been. I was too afraid to ask questions and seek help, which effected me negatively in the long run, and honestly still effects me still. It's a shitty mindset to be in, and one that takes years to get yourself out of. 

 

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38 minutes ago, Homie☆★ said:

Often times, those who perceive themselves as the 'smart kid' are only intellectual on a piece of paper with some questions on it. Because they've always said that they're the smart kid, they often never learned social skills because they give off a cocky demeanor that turns people off. I of course know this because for a long time I was always the one to assume they were smarter/better than everyone else, but in reality, the opposite seemed to be true. 

Being 'the smart kid' only made school harder for me than it should have been. I was too afraid to ask questions and seek help, which effected me negatively in the long run, and honestly still effects me still. It's a shitty mindset to be in, and one that takes years to get yourself out of. 

 

 

I've also noticed that the smartest people actually tend to doubt themselves and usually don't realize their full potential until they get much older. . .

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Just now, E.V.I.L said:

I've also noticed that the smartest people actually tend to doubt themselves and usually don't realize their full potential until they get much older. . .

Right? A smart-kid complex is easy to develop super early on just bc you were good at basic grade one maths, lmao. 

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Just now, Homie☆★ said:

Right? A smart-kid complex is easy to develop super early on just bc you were good at basic grade one maths, lmao. 

I feel like this happened to me except instead of getitng super cocky I went the other direction and have absolutely no confidence lmao

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6 minutes ago, E.V.I.L said:

I feel like this happened to me except instead of getitng super cocky I went the other direction and have absolutely no confidence lmao

Did the lack of confidence actually make you work hard or did it do any harm

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9 minutes ago, Halibut said:

Did the lack of confidence actually make you work hard or did it do any harm

I probably don't aim as high as I could/should because I always assume I'm just gonna fail

It's a double edged sword. I am very damn humble but unfortunately I can be too humble.

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Just now, E.V.I.L said:

I probably don't aim as high as I could/should because I always assume I'm just gonna fail

It's a double edged sword. I am very damn humble but unfortunately I can be too humble.

I like how that's the common trait between too humble and too cocky: not aiming as high as you should, it's just for different reasons.

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I didn't change my ways until very recently. I thought I knew everything in the world but one day I came to the conclusion that i'm just like everyone else. Being the smart kid is not really a bad thing but you should know more than just the things you learn at school since at the end of the day they're just stuff someone wrote on a book, not necessarily life skills that will help you in a future job.

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