Minty Car Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 *Disclaimer: It's a parody. We don't take this seriously, so you shouldn't either. Just laugh and enjoy!* 5b: Person Interrupts Nuggets’ Musical Extraordinaire Class is in session at the SBC School, and Person as usual is scheming up ways to get allowed back into the XAT instead of paying attention to hilaryfan80's lecture. hilaryfan80: And that's how you calculate the square route of SpongeBob's pants. Any questions? CDCB: Yeah, how come Person gets a freebie and does whatever the hell he wants? hilaryfan80: ... Alright, since there aren't any questions, we'll move on to the announcements. hilaryfan80 pulls out a flier so golden and flashy that only he could have designed it. hilaryfan80: The annual SBC Battle of the Bands is occurring in 3 days! You better participate because your grade depends on it you love our wonderful little school! CNF: What kind of music will we play? Person: NICKELBACK!!! CNF: Eww no. Nuggets: How about some Kanye West? Person: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHSHSHA no Nuggets: Really bro? I mean Nickelback is just a rip off of post grunge era 90s music anyhow Person: Errr, Their new album is decent! Clappy: ... That's two years old now… Person: Nickelback > Kanye West Nuggets: Fine. Then bring yo game to the Battle of the Bands I'll have Clappy and Halibooty to be my wingmen and hang ya by a thread Person: Fine I'll take- Everyone in the class drifts further from Person Person: Screw you guys! I got this AND I'm going home! Person then leaves the classroom carefree. hilaryfan80: BUT IT'S ONLY 11:25 Person: Pasta la vista! CDCB: Oooh, good one Person: SHUT UP!! OMJ: Son, these Nachos aren't even warmed up yet. Are you sure hilaryfan80 is giving you such early days off? Person always worded very weird words together when he was scared/nervous. Person: Uhh, yepppers. Totally radically he'd let us leave this superly early OMJ: You're acting suspicious, but nachos don't stay warm forever so I'll just walk away… Inside the basement lab, Person consults Metal Snake for guidance. Person: I need to blow everyone away with Nickelback music. Metal Snake: Person: Oh you! You know in your heart that their good. Metal Snake: If they were the last band in the world, I'd just abandon music Person: Well whatever the hell, I need to borrow your wiring to make an awesome guitar. Metal Snake: Yeah, not going to be a part of this atrocity. Metal Snake then powered into Sleep mode. Person reaches for Metal Snake's control panel anyway but unwittingly gets electrocuted by his own built in security alarm. Person: Dammit. Thinking fast, Person duct tapes together the first two things he can get his hands on--a toaster, and an ordinary stick--and creates a makeshift guitar. He jams one of his secret Nickelback CDs into one of the toaster slots and somehow a mechanism within the toaster converts the CD data into playable notes. Not that Person actually expected any of this to work in the first place. Nevertheless Person starts playing away. Meanwhile OMJ and Mama SG are upstairs cookin up some... Meatloaf. No dirty jokes here kids OMJ: How do you like these meaty ingredients honey? SG: Very high in protein indeed. I enjoy this very much. You should get our son though OMJ: Do I have to? SG: Yes Jenks OMJ: Fine OMJ then opens the door to the basement as Person begins to play a carbon copy of "How You Remind Me" by Nickelback Person: THATTTTTTT ISSSSSSSS HOWWWWWWWWWWWW Person: YOUUUUUUUUUUU REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OMJ: OH GAWD NO!!!!!!!!!!!! OMJ then runs back into the kitchen with tears in his eyes. SG reacts quickly and pulls out backup nachos to calm her husband down. Person remains oblivious to all this. Person: That went well CDCB: But it's not good enough. You need something better. Person: GET OUT OF MY HOU--...better? Pfft, I don't think so. CDCB: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHYvpXe75b8 Person: Absolutely not! hilaryfan80 wants quality. Not this sing along filth. CDCB: Uncultured swine... Person: idc what you say. I won't do Pooh CDCB: Heh heh... doo... poo... Person: The next day Person heads to school feeling confident in himself, so he decides to go impress the kids at the cafeteria Person: Hey dorks. Clappy: You lost me Nuggets: Uhh, we're kinda trying to have lunch here. Do you mind? Person: Yes. YES I DO I came here to intimidate you into surrendering. Kat: Is he for real? Fa: I think so unfortunately... Nuggets: Fine, you wanna intimidate us, we'll show ya what we got! Nuggets and Clappy then stand on top of the table, while Hal plays a drum in the background. Nuggets: You want us to surrender but man, you got it wrong A can in a blender, Yugoslavian dong We'll kick your ass like a lyrical slaughter Hell, Al Gore has a spherical daughter Give it up, you fucked it up, now put it to rest Livin' up like Donald Duck, a Yukon vest And one last thing before I end this rap If you know what's good, you better listen to Clap! Clappy: Bro, Nuggets says fuck it, you suck major ass Your ditty is so shitty, it came from the trash If you still go and sing it, you'll be in for hell So don't try to wing it or you'll get expelled! *mic drop* Everyone else on the cafeteria: Person stood in awe of the three and their jam, realizing in that one moment that he was in deep above water. Nuggets: See ya at the Battle punk Person then walked home alone, contemplating what to do. Person: This sucks lol. CDCB: Sucks for you! I don't care because you won't use my song. Person: There is no way Winnie the Pooh could beat that, and there's equally no chance of Nickelback winning it. CDCB: Whatever you say. We both know deep inside that Pooh could do it. Person was about to respond when suddenly a random flying box hit him in the face! Suddenly the Box opened and a boy appeared out of it, to the fright of Person. Person: OMG, WHAT THE FUCK!? HOW DID YOU FIT IN THAT BOX? O_______O CDCB: You might say he came Out of the Box Box: Shush, that's not important. I go by several names, but you may refer to me as Box Person: What do you want with me random box? Box: That's Mr. Box to you Anyhow, I hear you're competing against Nuggets in the Battle of the Bands tomorrow? Person: Yes, and I'm gonna lose Box: Well truthfully you kinda suck, but I don't want Nuggets to win so I'm gonna help you out Person: But how can I win? Box: Admittedly Nuggets is pretty swag and doesn't have many weaknesses. But the one he does is nearly crippling... Box then whispers the secret into Person's ear who nods in understanding. Box: I was never here Box then hops back into his box and hops away. Person knew now what he had to do in order to win: He had to eliminate the competition. --------------- Two Days later… The Big day of the Battle of The Bands had arrived. hilaryfan80 had amended the rule so nobody was forced to participate because somebody complained, so no one outside of Person’s solo act and Nuggets and his crew were actually participating in the show. hilaryfan80: Well let’s meet our 3 nonbiased judges. Jjsthekid, owner of the XAT! Jjs: I don’t like Person, but I shall still be fair. hilaryfan80: Tyeamwork, our local art teacher! Tyeam: Hail Plankton fools! May the first person to mention his greatness win hilaryfan80: And of course me, hilaryfan80! Because I’m awesome Momentarily we shall welcome our first contestant, Person… Eww Person *crowd boos* ------------------- Meanwhile in the Back… Both crews were in the back getting ready. Person had his guitar and Boom box player because iPods are not android devices Person is not in tune enough for modern music devices. He then pulls out a plate covered with a cloth as he walks toward Nuggets and his crew. Person: I felt bad for being antagonistic earlier this week to you guys… Clappy: Person using an above 5th grade word. Something’s fishy. Person: So I made you all some brownies. Person then reveals: Spoiler Hal: Hey, those don’t look all that bad. Clappy: Uhh Nugs? Person smirks as Nuggets starts shaking up and down in excitement. He struggles to control himself, but the allure of freshly baked brownies is too much. He can't resist the aroma and falls under its magical spell. The other two quickly follow believing the brownies to be safe bets. Instead all three of them fall into a deep sleep and Person has succeeded in his plan for once! hilaryfan80: … And now our first act, Person! Person then steps up onto the stage, boom box in tow, and guitar in hand and began to play the song in the cassette. However, instead of How You Remind Me, it blasted the Pooh theme song as Person badly sang How you Remind Me. Person: What the Hell!? WHY IS POOH IN THERE!?!?!?! CDCB: I see you came around to my idea Person: DAMMIT YOU! Everyone booed Person and were equally disturbed by his yelling at no one in particular. Clearly the Judges were even more so. Jjs: What the Hell? Tyeam: No Plankton? Just a Pooh and Nickelback crossover? 0/10 hilaryfan80: Yeah, see ya. hilaryfan80 then hits a button that ejects Person flying through the sky. Everyone cheers as another Person plan fails. And don’t worry about those other guys: Spoiler I promise their doing just fine 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E.V.I.L. Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 I want Nachos and drugged up brownies 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpongeOddFan Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 lol this is awesome. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minty Car Posted January 14, 2016 Author Share Posted January 14, 2016 Note: Links/images in some of the earlier episodes broke, but they have been fixed now. Feel free to message me if they are not. Anyhow, we're back after the long, long delay. Admittedly not one of my best, but hey gotta just get it out at a certain point. Hopefully it's enjoyable enough. 6a. Sailing the Oozy Trails Today hilaryfan80 is lecturing the class on the proper way to use a stink bomb. hilaryfan80: And when you throw the stink bomb, you want to use your wrist primarily to ensure high inertia. Person: Uh, what's inertia? hilaryfan80: This! hilaryfan80 demonstrates on Person. All Person can do is blink before the stink bomb hits him, becoming the target of everyone's laughter at his expense. hilaryfan80: Since Person smells like shit, I'm dismissing you all early today. Steel: Thank God... Person: Oh goody! hilaryfan80: You're staying here, Person Person: WHAT?! hilaryfan80: You get detention for stanking up my classroom. Person: But... but... YOU threw the-- hilaryfan80: Arguing with your professor--double hours! Person: GAAAACK! Flashing foward to the next day... hilaryfan80: Good day students! Due to the nastiness of yesterday, I was in a stinky mood! And as a result, I created a research project for you all to complete in groups! Person: Ewwww! hilaryfan80: Shush stinky! Now here are the groupings I made. Clappy and Nuggets! Cha and Katniss! Steel and SOF! And... Fa: Heh, me and Oma- hilaryfan80: Fa and Person! Fa: O_________o WHAT!!!?!?!?! AUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! Person: Oh joy! Fa: Oh God! hilaryfan80 PLEASE NO! hilaryfan80: The due date is in two days. I expect a 5 minute presentation or award winning short film about your project! Clappy: Does it count if it wins an emmy or academy award for best picture? hilaryfan80: No. CDCB: Can it be animated? Person: Shut up man! hilaryfan80: Shutting up the teacher!? TRIPLE DETENTION! Person: Watch us prove you wrong! Fa: I will clean your dishes for a year not to do this... Person then ran out of the classroom, Fa not following. hilaryfan80: Does Person never realize when class actually ends? Several hours later... Fa is heading home when Person randomly approaches him. Person: Where the Hell have you been! We need to get working! Fa: Umm school never ended dude... Person: Unimportant! Fa: Person: Well I have done research at my house if you wanna come see... Fa: Person: ... what Fa: Eh, ignore that. Let's see what dirt you got on this secret tape. Person: I can official confirm... that the TV version.........is censored. Fa: Eureka.... Person: BUT! Somewhere in the depths of a Nickelodeon vault lies the forbidden uncensored version! Fa: So... what do you want me to do about it? Person: Brady, we're off to California! Fa: Ummmmm, how do you know this to even be true? Person: I saw it on an ad on Nick @ Nite at 3:13 am once Fa: Wait, your telling me people actually watch Nick @ Nite? Person: Shut up! We're getting on the first plane to California! Fa: I'm broke dude... Person: Me too. We'll just walk there then! Before Fa could object, Person dragged him onto a bus and off they went! ----------- Unfortunately, they took the wrong one and the bus dropped them off in the outskirts of Texas. Person: Well, we're here! Fa: No you dumbass, we're in Texas. CDCB: Howdy Y'all! Person: BRADY WHY DID YOU LET HIM ON?! Fa: Let the cowbell on? *starts playing cowbell to be an asshole* Person: YARRRGGHHHH!!! Never mind... Let's just look around. Maybe we'll find it here. Fa: But you just said--... forget it. Person and Fa search around Texas until they reach civilization. They sit down on a park bench to take a breather, and a familiar face greets them. ???: Tarnation! What're y'all doing here?! Fa: Sandy?? Sandy: I reckon it is! Person: Wait, you see her too? Fa: Omfg, this is a dream or something. Cartoon characters aren't real! Person: Dude, it's her. In the flesh. Sandy: What the darn tootin' ya mean? Of course it's me, Sandy Cheeks! Person: Maybe she'll show us where the tapes are? Sandy: Course I will! Just follow me! The two then followed Sandy to a random gaping hole in the desert Sandy: Jump in the hole and the tapes will be at the bottom I swear! Fa: Ok, this is stupid. Nice try Sa- Person was already falling deep down the hole though. Person: GAAAAACK! Suddenly the Texan mirages came to an end and Person was inexplicably eating a porcupine. Person: Mmm, prickl--OUCH! Fa: I won't even ask... As they continued on their way, Person removed the porcupine quills from his face one by one, making repeated spasmy noises of pain. Fa tried to keep his temper, but by the 31st ouch, they weren't just coming from the quills anymore. Fa: Alright, there's an airport coming up in about a mile. We'll have to keep going on foot until we get there. Person: (singing) The Sailor Mouth episode Is the episode For you and me The Sailor Mouth episode Is the episode And Brady's killing me OUCH! Just then they walk up to the airport, Fa in particular looking quite relieved in himself. Fa: Civilization, thank god! Upon closer inspection though, it was quite clear that the airport was entirely abandoned with dust everywhere creating a mini desert of sorts. Person: Aww damn, at least we're over halfway there now! Fa: Halfway there is still forever away on the modern day trail of tears, you nincompoop! They then came across, in between all the rubble and dust... Fa: Is that a boatmobile? Can I even believe my eyes anymore? Person: Oh boy The two then got in the boatmobile, Person driving, and made it all the way to California, where the two were able to see the Nickelodeon Studios coming up on the horizon. Fa: Alright Person, ya might wanna slow down. We're getting a whole lot closer. Person: Uhhhhh... Fa: What is it Person? Person: I've never actually driven a boatmobile before? Fa: It's a car! Come on man! Person: I CAN'T STOP THIS THIS CRAZY THING CALLED LIFE Both of their lives flashed before them as they crashed the boatmobile through the front door of the Nickelodeon Studios! Despite essentially getting in a car crash, neither of the two were particularly injured beyond scratches and bruises. What they weren't expecting was to have crashed through a department store. Owner: You just ruined my nickels and dimes store! I'M RUINED! Fa: What did you even sell? Owner: ISN'T OBVIOUS? NICKELS AND DIMES! Both: Fa: Well, where are the studios Person? All I see is a mini mall and a crying sack of coins. Person: My calculations.... They were... wrong! Fa: Again. Ugh. While we're here, I may as well buy some more cowbells to piss you off on the way. Person, still beside himself, wanders into Kohl's and decides he has to go into the bathroom. In the back stall, he notices a weird black spot on the floor. Like most people, he pokes at it harder and harder until the entire floor breaks and he falls through in a cartoony styling with an overextended facial expressions and colorful aesthetic in his fingers. Seconds later, Fa follows him down, in a much lighter leap down. Person: I knew I wasn't wrong! These are the old Nickelodeon studios! Fa: Person... right... Well where are the tapes then? Person: Somewhere in here! Person then unearths a stack of videos from a collapsed table. The label on one of them read "Sailor Mouth." Fa couldn't believe it. Fa: Omg, it existed. I don't believe it. I can't freaking believe it. Person: Person then popped in the video and saw something that truly horrified him. It wasn't an uncensored episode at all. But rather, every word in the episode became censored by :Dolphin noise: (Except Mama Krabs kept on honking ) Person: What the Hell was that!!!!???!??!?!?! THAT WASN'T THE UNCENSORED EPISODE! Fa: Well I guess it doesn't exist after all. I was right Person: SHUT UP FOOL! Suddenly, the video turned to a technicolor look and displayed the words ACTIVATED on the screen. "SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED. T-MINUS 3 MINUTES TO DETONATION." Person: What the Hell? Fa: Well, we better get the Hell out of here! In Die Hard style, the two climbed up the hole they had fallen through and escaped the Mall just as the explosion went off, pushing them into the California ocean. Ignoring the now destroyed Mall Picking themselves up, Fa glared hard at Person. Fa: I'm done with you! This project, this journey and that explosion! All for what? Dolphin noises!?! .______. Person: But we still gotta g- Fa: Nah, I picked up enough nickels and dimes to get a flight home. Enjoy walking solo bro, I'll be livin it up with Mickey Mouse or some shit instead of Sailor Mouth. Peace out asshole. Person: Have fun dumbass! Cartoon characters can't even ride airplanes! Fa chose not to explain his exaggeration to Person. It was just not worth the time he felt. ------- The Next Day at School hilaryfan80: Fa, where is Person? Your guys' project is due today. Fa: Uhhhh, he just abandoned me. He was going to California or something like that to find the uncensored tape. Never heard from him again hilaryfan80: Dammit Person! Fa, I'll excuse you from this grade to make up for your partner's incompetence. Fa: Thank God. I wonder where the little feller went anyways... ------- Somewhere unknown... Person: PATRICK, IS THERE AN END TO THIS HOLE!? Patrick: Oh, I don't know! I just thought it would be fun! Person: O_______O Eh, he'll be back as we all know, no matter how deep that hole is. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E.V.I.L. Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 hilaryfan80 needs to be less Fa!mairphobic smh 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minty Car Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 (edited) Note: Shorter ep then usual, but better then nothing I suppose. Hopefully gets a laugh or two out of you all. Episode 6B: I Dream of Jjs Person did not like the taste of concrete in his mouth. "Frickin nasty" he mumbled to himself as he got up from the ground, his face still battered from being thrown on to the ground. He stood up and looked back at the XAT building to see Jjs still standing in the doorway. "Don't come back!" he exclaimed sternly. "You're not welcomed here anymore!" Jjs then closed the door and locked it tightly to prevent anyone he did not approve of from sneaking in. Person, frustrated, walked home alone, mumbling obscenities to himself. Upon returning home, he retreats down into his lab to be alone and angry some more. His loneliness didn't last long, however, as his trusty ol' companion, Metal Snake, was just waking up due to timezones to welcome him home. "How are you today, Person?" MS asked. "They kicked me out of the XAT again! AGAIN!" Person whined. MS just sighed. "I think maybe it's time to find new friends or something instead of just this same old routine of getting kicked out over and over again." Person wasn't listening though, just mumbling the same old obscenities again. MS didn't want to hear it again, so he slammed his robotic paw down on the ground. "Look Person, the only possible way to fix this is to change their views on you. Change their mindset and opinions on you." MS explained. Suddenly Person had the look of an idea running through his head. "BRAINFREEZE!" He shouted. "I know what to do now!" Thank God. MS thought to himself. Maybe there's hope for him after all... "I have to take control of Jjs' mind to make him like me and if that happens, then everyone will follow suit!" Person gleefully exclaimed. "What!?! No, I meant you should change their minds and opinions by being a better person and growing as an individual!" MS said shocked. "lol, that's too hard." Person said obliviously. Never mind. No hope. MS thought. ------------ A few hours had passed when OMJ went downstairs to check on his son because Mama SG made him he wondered where his son went to. Upon entering the lab, he saw the basement in a complete mess as he usually did when Person was down there. "Son, what the hell are you dong down here?" OMJ asked confused. Person grinned awkwardly back. "Just creating a new way to make friends, Dad." OMJ just looked back and said "Umm yeah. Have fun with that." before walking back upstairs to his couch domain. "Is our son ok?" Mama SG asked from another room. "Who?" OMJ tried to forget. Meanwhile, Person was putting the finishing touches on his plan to control Jjs' mind. It was coming together very nicely for as stupid as it was just as he planned. MS awoke to see a gleeful Person standing over him. "Oh my pet, my plan is coming together quite perfectly! " "Oh goodness, what are you dragging me into this time?" MS inquired skeptically. "So I'm gonna shrink myself with a vial of a chemical, and leap into Jjs' brain and control his actions from there until he convinces everyone to like me!" Person claimed. "It'll be like this!" As Person pulls out a convenient copy of: "Dude, that's a cartoon." MS pointed out. "That's not going to happen in his actual brain." A perplexed Person just looked back like: "I refuse to believe that!" MS just looked back and said "Alright, go have fun exploring people's brains." an exasperated MS said. "I'm going to sleep mode until whenever you return." "Fine, you nonbeliever!" Person shouted back. "But just you watch me walk into the XAT!" As Person ran upstairs, Mama SG was consoling her husband on the couch. "I'm sure he wasn't acting that weird." Person interrupted the moment by shouting "Gonna go make people be my friend now, bye!" "I stand corrected." Mama SG said solemnly. "I stand strongly corrected." ------- A few moments later, Person was outside of what he believed to be Jjs' house. "The stakeout has begun..." Person whispered to himself. "I love steaks!" CDCB responded seemingly out of the blue "HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS GONNA BE HERE YOU INFURIATING BRAT!" Person screamed at CD. "YOU ALWAYS RUIN EVERYTHING!" "I'm sorry for my love of steaks!" CDCB mockingly replied. "Whatever! Just stay out of my way!" Person demanded as he began to inject himself with the chemical and shrank to around the size of Plankton. "MWHAHAHAHA! Nothing can stop me now!" "But how are you gonna get into the house now!" CDCB asked. "Your so small now. Almost cutely so " Person just stood on the ground in shock and amazement. "Well I guess, I'll have to climb the walls up into the room, no matter how long it takes!" Person then attempted to climb and nearly fell over. CDCB chuckled in the background. "I'll get it just you watch me!" Several nights later... "It's been 15 days of climbing up and falling down, breaking bones and broken dreams but I'm finally at his door." Person, breathless and exasperated, cried out. "It's time to put my plan into action. To fin-" Person suddenly saw a big shadowy object land right on top of him and his screams were muted as quickly. Still Jjs had heard a faint sound and looked around briefly to find it. "Must have been the wind" he thought to himself as went back to sleep. Person'll be back as we all know, but this one may take a while more Edited February 19, 2016 by Fa! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E.V.I.L. Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Person :bruh; Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Maybe it's just me, but I got more than a laugh or two out of this episode. xD 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minty Car Posted May 25, 2016 Author Share Posted May 25, 2016 And you guys thought this was dead (Theme sung by CDCB) 7a: See Person Run (Out of Breath) It's another fine day at in the SpongeBob Universe. School is in session and everybody's getting ready for a big race in the gym. hilaryfan80: Alright class. Remember we aren't racing to win here. Person: We're NOT?!!! hilaryfan80: No.... we're racing to raise funds for a new vending machi--I mean, new textbooks. Person: But if one doesn't win, then it tears apart the fabric of competition. hilaryfan80: No, just your nonexistent ego. Trophy: I'll win over everyone anyways. I've always been the fastest one around the ring. Person: Whatever you say last place Trophy. Trophy glares back as hilaryfan80 fired a pellet gun to start the race. Trophy kicks off with a head start while Person, all tired and worn out from just being an ignoramus, tries his hardest to run but really just slumps around since any energy he had is all used up. Trophy crosses the finish line just as Person makes it a quarter of the way... to the first checkpoint. CDCB: C'mon, my nose can run faster than that! Person: YOU'RE DISGUSTING! hilaryfan80: And you're disqualified! Person: What!? hilaryfan80: You know the rules pal. No delusional yelling allowed on the field. Trophy: Holy crap you make Gary look like Usain Bolt. Gary then cameos very briefly only to Person, who just looks like a weirdo to everyone else staring down at the ground. Heading home in shame and sadness, Person decides he'll use his "laboratory" skills to beat Trophy. Person: If I can't beat Trophy with natural speed, I'll use rocket speed! He then crudely tapes two rockets to his shoes and is tinkering with them as Metal Snake walks by. Metal Snake: I don't even want to ask what you're doing this time. Person: Fine, then I'll tell you. Metal Shake: ... Person: I'm building the ultimate shoe! Then I can kick Trophy's sorry old butt in a rematch! Metal Snake: Oh man, nice idea. Nike's got nothing on you. Person: Yeah, I know! Metal Snake: ... forget it. Metal Snake slithers away while Person puts the finishing touches on his shoes. He gives them a test jog, and the rockets fall off almost instantly. Person: Hmm... needs more glue. He grabs a bottle of Elmer's Glue while Metal Snake sinks away into his cloudy domain (under the staircase) to be as far away from the rest of this episode as possible. The very next day, everyone is just milling around outside of the school prior to class when Person awkwardly (and slowly) walks up to them with a dumbass grin on his face. Person: Trophy, I challenge you to a rematch! Trophy: Dude, you didn't even come close to me, dead last in fact. Maybe challenge the people directly ahead of you bef- Person (interrupting): Shush! I am talking now! I challenge you! Trophy just shrugs and decides to accept the rematch expecting it to be a breeze in the park easy. That afternoon, everybody gathers back around the field to watch Person make an ass of himself again. CDCB: I like corn. Person: Nobody cares about your corn! hilaryfan80: Hey, don't make me disqualify you again! Person just grumbles to himself and ignores CDCB. hilaryfan80 fired the pellet gun once again and Trophy went blazing down the track, miles ahead of Person... who was just standing there. SOF: Ummm, the ruse started Person? Person: Don't worry; I'll catch up when the rockets go full- hilaryfan80: And Trophy has won the race! Again! Person then screams at the top of his lungs and slams his foot on the ground, activating the rockets, sending him flying far away from the school. Weeks later… hilaryfan80 is lecturing the class on how to build a better Spongetron. hilaryfan80: Contrary to popular belief, the key Spongetrons in a complete set aren't A, B, and C. They're actually X, Y, and-- Person: I DEMAND ANOTHER REMATCH!! CNF: Wut Person: Trophy will be the loser this time! Trophy: Oh god, you're not still butthurt about those races, are you? SOF: get over yourself Peeon. Clappy: Dude, you've been missing for 3 weeks and that's all you care about? Get a gr- hilaryfan80: A rematch we shall have! Trophy: But I don't even want to rematch him... hilaryfan80: Well if you can't beat him again, then you can have Person's F and he can have your A! Person: Yeah! hilaryfan80: Of course if he loses to you AGAIN, I'll just give him detention for the rest of the semester. Person: No! Trophy: Alright, I'll wipe the floor with him again... Person goes home that afternoon and improves his shoes, throwing in pieces of anything and everything he can think of that could lead to speed, from gasoline to strawberry jelly. Now equipped with the ultimate shoes 2.0, Person sets out the next day to kick Trophy's butt. Trophy: You seriously want to do this AGAIN? You know I'm just going to beat you. Person: Not this time! For I have improved my running shoes! Trophy: Uh huh... hilaryfan80: Ready... set... GO! Trophy runs so fast through the track, that no one can literally see him, almost breaking the laws of physics and time. He finishes under 7 seconds, breaking the world record. Meanwhile Person is... going backwards? Person: No fair... I wasn't ready.... Clappy: What the hell are you doing? Person: These stupid shoes are going the wrong way... SOF: so stop ringing lol Person: I'M NOT RINGING ANYTHING!!! Person continues to uncontrollably run backwards until he spontaneously combusts into a pile of ashes. CDCB: They should honor you by scattering you across the SBsea. Hahahaha! Person: Oh shut up... The wind then blew in to scatter the ashy Person, in the same tatters as his plan once again. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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