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Homestuck Ranks: Mariah Careys Number #1s


kylie

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I gave Mariah Careys latest album, #1 To Infinity, a listen today and realized just how much I love all of these songs. It took me back to the 90s, when Mariah owned the radio and scored a solid 14 #1 singles throughout the decade. And with a total of 18 #1s, its not difficult to see why shes the female solo act with the most chart-toppers. She's also known for possibly inspiring some up-coming artists.

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After listening to this album, I wanted to give my ranking on all 18- from Vision of Love to Touch My Body and everything in-between. And starting us off,

 

 

 

#18 - Someday 

Released: December 13, 1990

#1 For: 2 weeks

Someday is a hard-hitter, as Mariah tells off an ex who wronged her. With a strong chorus and powerful vocals (especially in the MTV unplugged version,) this is a fun one to listen to. Mariah cuts deep into her ex with the a chorus, "Someday, the one you gave away will be the only one you're wishing for." Possibly what hurts this one is how different it from its predecessors, as well as the singles that followed it. Before Someday we had "Love Takes Time' and afterwards we had "I Don't Wanna Cry." Someday just doesn't fit well into this album, as it's better suited for an album like Emotions, which is filled with these up-tempo songs. And even with it's strong chorus and fun beat, I could still could never get into this one- this sort of sassy tell-off just wasn't Mariahs thing in the early 90s. She can obviously do it now (see: Infinity) but back then she was all about the slow ballads & innocent crushes. It's like if Gimme More was included on Britney's debut album. 

 

The vocals help this song out, and distract from some of the weaker points. Whistle-tones are definitely a love it or hate it thing, but I always thought Mariah used them sparingly. The powerful note she hits when she sings "just think again cause i won't need your love anymore" almost works, but to me it seems almost forced. Theres definitely nothing terrible with this track (and it's still one of my favorites from her debut album) but in terms of number ones, this song just doesn't feel as deserving of the top spot as the others. Sure it's strong, and in a year where the number one single came from Bryan Adams this song is definitely a refreshing one to hear on the radio, there really isn't anything that makes it memorable. It's a standard Mariah song, but nothing all that special. I can think of plenty songs she could've released instead that would've ranked higher on the list than this one,

 

Also, mom jeans.

 

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Hint For Number 17: From the album Rainbow. 

 

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17. Thank God I Found You (ft. Joe and 98 Degrees)

Released: January 25, 2000

#1 For: One Week 

 

Another relatively standard track. The only reason I put this one ahead of Someday is because I love how calm the chorus is. It works in Mariahs favor. She's got at making her vocals soft and light, and it works well in this song. This songs only real flaw is that its eerily similar to One Sweet Day, which is obviously far superior. Their voices blend pretty well, although she pretty clearly overpowers them. The song is very nice to listen to, though its unfortunately not that memorable. I do question if this song actually deserves it's status as a #1 single when there are far superior songs from her that only cracked the top five. And with an album as strong as Rainbow, this one doesn't manage to stand out. According to Wikipedia, some critics called this song "unlistenable" which is probably the last thing I'd say about this song. Still, Mariah is capable of stuff like this:

 

 

So I have no idea why she seemed to stop using those vocals near the early 2000s. Maybe thats why this song lacks the charm that most of her other #1s possess, not to mention forgettable lyrics. The only memorable thing to come out of this one is the fact that Mariah literally got sued for copyright (on the official Nas remix.) :awkward:  But even there, she won the case.

It's no surprise that this was Mariahs last number one for 5 years until 2005, thus ending her 11 year reign of madness, or terror, or both. She would later go on to make a critically panned album, film, and then released a Greatest Hits album. Those were hard times to be a Mariah fan. Hard times. 

 

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#16 - I Don't Wanna Cry (1991)

Released: April 25, 1991

#1 For: 2 Weeks

 

"Once again we sit in silence, after all is said and done, only emptiness inside us." This song has me feelin emotions. This was Mariah Careys first song about heartbreak and lookin for true love and her first single to not have a fun, upbeat chorus. Instead, we get a more powerful and emotion chorus that I like, but don't love all that much. I'm more into this song for the well-written verses, which is possibly because she wrote this one with Narda Michael Walden, who has a pretty impressive history, writing some of my favorite Whitney Houston tracks and another good Mariah song, Heartbreaker. Some of these lyrics kinda resonate with me which is probably why I've grown to like this one a lot more in my twenties, rather than when I preferred her more polished stuff in my teens. This is generally a very raw performance, and another good example of Mariahs voice being soft rather than being overbearing, something she didn't really find a good balance between until the second album. It's also fair to say this is when she was starting to become Mariah Carey™. It was also her fourth number one from the same album (!!!), something not a lot of artists can do. The song clocks in at nearly 5 minutes (almost a full-blown Speak Now ballad) but it flows so well that you hardly notice it. 

 

I looked thorough a lot of other peoples rankings of this same subject while making this list and noticed that i Don't Wanna Cry is normally quite a bit higher than this, and I can't be sure exactly why. I almost prefer something like Up Out My Face more, although I think this one has the upper hand for being #relatable. I Don't Wanna Cry indeed. (Also in doing research I noticed literally no one likes TGIFY...) All I know for certain is Mariah would never do anything like this again, which is especially odd considering the fact that slow, sad ballads were kinda becoming her thing in the early 90s (this, Hero, Anytime You Need a Friend, Endless Love...) and then she just went "fuck it", released a Christmas classic, and then became a pop star. Do I miss this type of song? Maybe. I think if Mariah wanted success in the 2000s, she should've toned down the diva antics slightly and released at least ONE song like this. Seriously, We Belong Together was her biggest ballad of the 2000s, but that immediately came after a song about popping bottles in the club and immediately was followed by a Beyonce-like "I'm too good for you" song. Sigh. also glitter happened

 

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#15 - I'll Be There

Released: May 26, 1992 (Originally August 28, 1970)

#1 For: 2 Weeks (Originally by The Jackson 5)

 

This was originally a Jackson 5 song, and though I do love the original, I'm willing to say Mariah did it better- this song works well for her breathy, robust vocals. Mariah is the most prominently featured artist on this track, the other guy is there for all of two seconds when Mariah tells him to maybe actually contribute something to the song. Also did you know this song was #1 in Canada for 10 weeks? I don't know what sells in the Canadian market, but apparently this was hot over there. So, in a way I do appreciate this song for giving Mariah more of an international breakthrough, and making way for her clear, obvious chart domination throughout the following weeks. The song was also nominated for two Grammies and lost BOTH of them to an inferior Boys II Men song. 

 

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Mimi don't give a shit tho. Also this was her 6th number one hit in a 2 year period... anyone denying her career at this point was a salty, jealous hater. This song is something I don't have all that much to say about this one because, while it's a good song, I can't really say much because this is a cover of an inferior Jackson 5 song. But like everything, Mimi did it better. <3

 

 

 

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#14 - Don't Forget About Us

#1 For: 2 Weeks

Released: December 12, 2005

 

The truth is the truth: this song lives in the shadow of We Belong Together. It came from the same badass comeback album, and it wasn't nearly as successful. It's a beautiful song, and if it wasn't for WBT being generally awesome, this could of possibly been higher on the list- it proved Mariah could sing again and it gave her a second number one hit off the same album which she hadn't done in legit years. And theres some good lyrics in there as well, and they're all very detailed, making this song seem like it's actually about a real relationship that, you know, actually happened. Mariah didn't just make this guy up like some other artists might do. I also really like the random rap breakdown-

 

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The truth is, of the singles off of Emancipation, I like this one the least. And she certainly deserved a #1 with the far superior Shake It Off, and maybe even It's Like That. Musically this one works, and vocally it does too... but with an album as strong as The Emancipation Of Mimi, every song better be on point. This one is only halfway there. 

 

 

 

 

#13 - Heartbreaker (ft. Jay Z)

Released: September 21, 1999

#1 For: 2 Weeks (again lol)

 

Beyonce who? Mariahs been working with Jay Z since before Beyonce was even a household name and this song proves that the combination of Jay Z and Mariah at least kind of works. I was shocked that this actually worked. Then again, Mariah can work with ODB and it works, so Mariah can make anything happen. This was also Mariahs last hit of the 90s, and probably the end of her total chart domination as she'd slowly fade into her breakdown era (or Glitter era.) It's still a good song- an incredibly catchy chorus, a decent enough Jay Z verse, and a fire music video. Check out them kicks-

 

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The songs message is a bit off-putting (you suck but I love you anyway) and a little bit cliche, but at least Mariah can make it sound nice. When all else fails us, her vocals definitely come to her aid. Jay Zs verse also ends on a sorta creepy note, but it fits into the song quite nicely. It doesn't just come out literally nowhere (see: Fantasy remix) 

 

 

 

 

 

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#12 - Love Takes Time

Released: September 11, 1990

#1 For: 3 Weeks

 

Following the chart success and critical praise of Vision of Love, Mariah debuted her second single with a softer approach. A light ballad about how she dealt with losing her lover, something far different from her previous single. With this, Mariah became one of the only artists to have their first two singles both go to number one, and it possibly solidified Mariah as an artist to look out for. Mariah herself seems to be mad at herself throughout, as the intro says "couldn't see that I treated you wrong." It's one of her sadder songs, and exemplifies her vocals quite nicely. It's better than Someday, but didn't quite reach the level (or the notes) that Vision Of Love did. 

 

(couldnt find a decent gif for this one)

 

 

 

(when you google love takes time arianas "one last time" comes up asdfkl)

 

 

 

 

 

#11 - Honey

Released: August 26, 1997

#1 For: 3 Weeks

 

The start of Mariah beginning to incorporate a more hip-hop/R&B vibe into her songs while still remaining true to herself, and the combination of Mariah with more funky beats seemed to work in her favor. The metaphor is a bit uncomfortable- I don't particularly enjoy honey tbh. It still works well and near the 3:20 mark she shows off more of her strong vocal ability. I don't think theres really much to say about this because the verses are each incredibly short and most of the song is just the chorus with some high notes in the background. This song was also the start of a more sassy, sexual Mariah, something that she would define better in the mid-00s. 

 

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Songs remaining: 

 

Vision of Love

Emotions

Dreamlover

Hero

Fantasy

One Sweet Day

Always be My Baby

My All 

We Belong Together

Touch My Body 

 

 

 

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#10 - Hero

Released: October 19, 1993

#1 For: 4 Weeks

 

One of the few good self-empowerment songs I've ever heard. Normally they actually kind of suck. A lot- 

 

 

But this one actually works. It's a slow song, but this is from a time when Mariah was all about that. And this is about as slow as it gets- even utilizing a piano as the main instrument. Mariahs vocals remain low and soft throughout the song, never really going into a belt or a whistle, but that's exactly what the song calls for (except for a few random moments at the end.) Things get more upbeat during the second verse- it gets more powerful and empowering. Unlike other artists who make these songs, she also doesn't sound like she's only talking about herself (she never says "me" or "i" but instead "you".) It's meant to not just empower herself but also the person listening. 

 

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#9 - Vision of Love

Released: May 15, 1990

#1 For: 4 Weeks

 

The song that debuted Mariah Carey on the scene. One of the first things people think of when they think of Mariah Carey- a powerful song that perfectly showed off her vocal range and abilities. Mariah carries the song effortlessly, and the tone is exactly how it needs to be. It's very similar to Fantasy, but less inspired by pop music and more inspired by the likes of Whitney Houston. This was also one of the few debut singles to ever hit #1, proving that Mariah was gonna have a long career from the start. I absolutely love her vocals here. They're absolutely flawless, it's easily one of her best performances, especially with the ending note. 

 

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I almost wish this song was more popular. Mariahs most popular songs in the new decade seem to be All I Want For Christmas Is You, Fantasy, and We Belong Together, but I wish this one had translated the same longevity. This song was the moment that Mariah was boosted into popular conscience. 

 

 

#8 - Emotions

Released: August 13, 1991

#1 For: 3 Weeks

 

Mariahs fifth consecutive number one, and it was clear she had no intent on stopping. This is the ultimate whistle tone song. If you ever need to prove to a ho that Mariah can hit higher notes than Ariana just show them Emotions. The song is literally built off of high notes. I love the disco beat that starts this song off as well- it instantly shows that its gonna be different than the Mariah that her debut album had us expecting. It's another song about being in love, but this ones a little bit more intense than Vision of Love. Just look at that single cover:

 

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Now that's some emotion. Apparently this song also qualifies as a disco track, just giving Mariah another genre that she excels at  :whitney:

 

 

 

 

 

 

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#7 - My All

Released: April 21, 1998 

#1 For: 1 Week (but it deserved more)

 

Before there was We Belong Together, there was My All. Her best soft ballad to date. Every piece of the song fits perfectly- the instrumentation, the vocals, the production. Everything about it is perfect. It's all tied together by lyrics that fit perfectly, representing every emotion that you run through in a relationship like hers. She knows she shouldn't, but she can't resist- and it comes through perfectly. Unlike We Belong Together, this song remains relatively low-tempo, remaining on a low R&B sound. Around halfway through the song, Mariah's vocals grow more powerful, but its short-lived as her voice transitions back into a lighter tone. The song was cowritten by one of my favorite of her co-writers, Walter Afanasieff, who also brought us songs like One Sweet Day, Hero, and other signature Mariah ballads.

 

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What ties the song together is the atmosphere of longing overshadowed by a sense of lust. Mariah doesn't seem to want any sort of real relationship with this person, but she wants to feel his body next to hers. She feels alone and afraid and it all translates perfectly, especially during the chorus which I think is one of her sharpest. 

 

 

 

 

#6 - One Sweet Day (ft. Boyz II Men) 

Released: November 14, 1995

#1 For: 16 Weeks

 

The longest running #1 single of all time says hi. The combination of Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men is absolutely perfect, and its proven in this song. Absolutely a match made in heaven. This whole song is angelic- probably my favorite song about remembering the dead ever written. All the lyrics work perfectly to describe the loss of someone you love. Unlike many songs like this, it doesn't feel commercial at all. It feels completely genuine and real, and it's clear they're all writing from experience. It gets stronger in the chorus, where they let the vocals do all the work and it's absolutely gorgeous. I'm not a huge fan of songs like this, but this is a definite exception. This song also played a big part in my childhood which is another reason it ranks up so high. 

 

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I thought Whitney Houston was the best partner for Mariah to collab with, but I was mistaken- this one works even better. Bringing Mariahs vocals at their sharpest and Boyz II Men at their most angelic. Theres a reason this spent 16 weeks on top of the charts (after debuting at #1!) If any song deserves the record, it's this one. lmao to anyone who thought uptown funk would beat its record

 

 

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lets finish this up:

 

 

 

#5 - Touch My Body

Released: February 12, 2008 

#1 For: 2 Weeks

 

Mariahs latest number one (and unfortunately, probably her last) is just about the last thing I expected from Mariah Carey. I don't particularly like E=MC2 so I was surprised she pulled out something this good from it... it's just a damn good and a damn underrated song with some killer lyrics. Mariahs tone is absolutely gorgeous here- her voice stays perfectly soft but she still sounds sexy. And her body in this video is absolutely gorgeous despite the fact that age was starting to set it. It's just a flawless performance overall. Mariah also translates into the digital age in a very iconic way (I best not catch this clip on YouTube) and goes full diva in the video. 

 

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#4 - Dreamlover

Released: July 27, 1993

#1 For: 8 Weeks

 

Absolutely timeless. This is exactly what I think of when I think about Mariah Carey. It starts on one of her best high notes and keeps going in the right direction from there. This is easily some of her best work both lyrically and vocally, channeling the exact feelings of someone who is hoping for a relationship. The first verse is basically Mariah just describing her ideal man but it works because thats the exact point of the song. She's desperate for love- but the overall tone of the song is so sunshine-y and happy that you barely notice. It's one of Mariahs first purely pop songs and definitely not a bad first effort. Of all of Mariahs singles, this is the one that makes me the happiest. 

 

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#3 - We Belong Together

Released: March 29, 2005

#1 For: 14 Weeks

 

This was it. After it was universally agreed that Mariah Carey was over, and that she'd never have another hit... she came back with her biggest song of all time, and one of the biggest songs in Billboard HISTORY. It's not hard to see why either, this song is absolutely gorgeous. Mariah puts so much raw emotion into this but you can't help but believe it- unlike in Someday which felt completely unnatural, this song feels raw. She really seems to be speaking from heart here. And it's easily her best vocal performance of the 2000s as she hits every note flawlessly without a single whistle tone throughout. Also one of my fave lyrics ever ("the pain reflected in this song isn't even half of what I'm feeling inside".) It also scored Mariah her SECOND song of the decade which still amazes me. It's all tied together by a stunning vocal performance at the end, as well as some of the best co-writers she's ever worked with. 

 

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#2 - Always Be My Baby

Released: March 9, 1996

#1 For: 2 Weeks (and 9 weeks at #2 lolz) 

 

I was wrong about Dreamlover. THIS is her most unequivocally happy song ever. This song just seems to put everyone in a good mood- who doesn't sing along to this in their car? It's got one of Mariahs catchiest choruses, some of her tightest vocals, and it's perfected by a foot-stomping beat that matches the song perfectly. I honestly don't even know what to say about this one- it's just one of her most fun songs to date and it's impossible for me to not be happy while listening to it. Theres a reason so many movies have this on their soundtrack- it's a track that will hold up for years. 

 

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#1 - Fantasy 

Released: September 12, 1995

#1 For: 8 Week

 

What else is there to be said about this song? It's a pop masterpiece that I still am constantly hearing on the radio and there's a damn good reason for it. This song brought Mariah into a more pop inspired era of her career. She wasn't a full-blown pop star quite yet but she was well on her way, and this is the song that proved she had the ability. Her vocals are absolutely perfect, especially the breakdown at the end. Like the last one, it's impossible to not be happy during this song- it's upbeat, it's fun, it's happy, and it's my favorite song by Mariah Carey. 

 

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