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Total Cartoon Paradise City!


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Well, we've made it to the 150th episode of this show! And while this is a reason to celebrate, one contestant will perform their last challenge in this episode! Read on, and find out who it is! / Sniz is standing on top of the Steps of Knowledge, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Legends, the teams of the Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars were no more! It was every contestant for themselves, competing against each other for the chance to come out on top, and claim a $44.44 million grand prize! And when it came to knowledge and skill regarding a lost journal of Charles Darwin; there were winners, such as Dudley and Yakkity; and there was a loser, who ended up being Chameleon, due to his ability to change into anything! Now, there are only seven contestants left! One contestant, who has been with us for a LONG time, is about to play their last challenge as a contestant! Of course, it will be determined by the challenge and legend that the contestants have to face today! Who will rise like a Sphinx out of the hot Egyptian desert?! Who will swelter under the scorching heat?! And is there ANY show hotter than this one?! I highly doubt that LAST question, but for all others, please come celebrate us for our 150th episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "Where legends, are ALWAYS eternal!" / Instead of the normal show open, it shows a montage of the best moments between Spongebob and Sandy, Po and Tigress, Dudley and Kitty, and Bubble Bass and Blonda; from various episodes of the "Total Cartoon" seasons, set to the tune of The Beatles hit song, "Something". / George Harrison sings: "Something in the way she moves, attracts me like no other lover. Something in the way she woos me. I don't want to leave her now. You know I believe, and how. Somewhere in her smile she knows, that I don't need no other lover. Something in her style that shows me. Don't want to leave her now. You know I believe, and how. You're asking me will my love grow? I don't know, I don't know! You stick around, now it may show! I don't know, oh, I don't know! (Musical Break) Something in the way she knows, and all I have to do is think of her. Something in the things she shows me! I don't want to leave her now. You know I believe, and how!" (Musical Finish, as the montage ends!) /

"The Legend Of The Lost Head Dress of Cleopatra!" / It is night time, and the camera shifts to the hotel room of Bubble Bass! Even though Yakkity Yak is still enjoying his trip reward, Bubble Bass is STILL excited, because Spongebob is helping him film something important! Bubble Bass says: "Look, Spongebob! I think Infant Rube is going to take his first steps!" Spongebob says: "Don't worry! I'm filming, I'm filming!" Infant Rube looks at his father, loving, but a little confused! Bubble Bass says: "Come on! Come to daddy, come on!" Spongebob says: "Come on, Rube! You can do it!" And Infant Rube slowly, but surely, stands on TWO legs, and slowly walks towards Bubble Bass, who proceeds to hug him! Bubble Bass says: "That was great! Did you catch that?!" Spongebob says: "I sure did, Bubble Bass!" Bubble Bass sighs in contentment, and he says: "It really means a lot to me, to know that I was THERE for MY sons' first words, and his first steps! Those are important things that General Barracuda never got to see ME do! I didn't want to repeat THAT mistake with MY son! I want to be there, as long as he needs me!" Spongebob says: "Well, to be fair; the only reason General Barracuda never got to see YOUR firsts, is because he wasn't made aware of your relation to him, until just last season! So, I think you can cut him a LITTLE slack for not being around!" Bubble Bass says: "True. And at least, he's married to my mother, now! Although, come to think of it; I've found myself in a weird position." Spongebob asks: "What do you mean?" Bubble Bass says: "I'm talking about Blonda! At the start of THIS season, she wanted to do ALL the work raising Infant Rube, and barely wanted ME to interact with him! But I've spent so much MORE time on this season than her, it's fair to say our positions have become pretty reversed! I've done MOST of the work raising Infant Rube, and Blonda hasn't really been around!" Spongebob says: "Well, that's only because SHE got eliminated! If you really WANT Blonda to help you raise Infant Rube, the only way YOU could accomplish that, is if YOU got eliminated yourself!" Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "I know, Spongebob! But...I promised Sandy that I would look after you! That I would keep you safe, and not let any harm come to you!"

Spongebob seriously says: "Look, Bubble Bass. I know you THINK you still owe me for the little stunts you pulled on me in the past. But the truth of the matter is, you've done so much for me SINCE than, I think you've MORE than repaid all your past misdeeds! If anything, I probably owe YOU! I don't think I ever REALLY needed anyone to protect me, I'm not sure if I ever did! I...know that I haven't always been the EASIEST guy to be around in Bikini Bottom. But for what it's worth, I'm at least glad that you've been around me for this long!" Bubble Bass says: "Thank you, Spongebob. That means a lot to me! And...you're probably right. I think you ARE capable of handling yourself! And truthfully? You're MORE worthy of winning this season than I am! Maybe it's not MY time to be a contestant anymore." Spongebob asks: "What are you saying?" Bubble Bass says: "Look, being a contestant HAS been fun; and helping you has felt really GRATIFYING! But my responsibility as a father and a husband needs to come first. I can't be a contestant FOREVER, and feel like I'm fulfilling my responsibilities to the best of my ability!" Spongebob says: "I'm just letting you know right now, there is no WAY I'm voting YOU off!" Bubble Bass says: "You probably don't HAVE to! I'm the only former champ left standing! In fact, I'm surprised I've lasted as long in this season as I HAVE! But the other contestants? There's no WAY they're going to let ME win again! If they want to win, this is their best chance to stop me!" Spongebob asks: "Are you...going to be all right about this?" Bubble Bass says: "Spongebob, you KNOW me! I have bounced back from FAR worse than this! My father is a survivor! My half-siblings are survivors! My mother is a survivor! And I'm a survivor! My son is living proof of that! One elimination isn't going to bring all of THAT to an end! Besides, my elimination should actually be beneficial to you!" Spongebob asks: "Why is that?" Bubble Bass says: "Think about it! You've lost all of your OTHER friends on this show! If you lose me, that should provide ALL of the incentive you need, to get to the Final Two!" Spongebob says: "Now that I think about it, you DO have a point! Sandy, Stimpy, Marlene, Larry, Skipper, Patrick, Reggie, and Private all used THAT motivation to get to the Finals in THEIR seasons! But regardless, I still WANT you to try your best!" Bubble Bass says: "My best, will be like a work of art! Beautiful, elegant, and FULL of color and grace!"

(Confessional) Bubble Bass is feeding Infant Rube a bottle of milk! Bubble Bass says: "I'll actually be GLAD to be out of this competition! Not that I haven't been ABLE to keep up with everyone else, I just know that it will be a LOT easier on my stamina, AND my sanity; if I don't have to keep spreading myself too THIN! And I used the word 'Thin' in a sentence, in a way that DOESN'T refer to my body! Now THAT is an impressive hat trick!" / Spongebob says: "Bubble Bass is one of the FEW contestants I've ever personally met, who seems to actually WANT to be eliminated! I suppose anyone else in MY situation on this show, would RELISH the opportunity! Of course, I'm NOT like anyone else! I could and WOULD miss Bubble Bass IF he gets eliminated! I mean, I WOULD use his elimination as incentive to get ME to the Final Two! It's just...I feel SO conflicted about whether or not I SHOULD let it happen! I guess...since it's what he HONESTLY wants, I should respect his wishes! It DEFINITELY won't make it any easier for me to DO that, DESPITE knowing that!" (End Confessional) It is early morning, and Marlene knocks on Buhdeuce's hotel room door. Buhdeuce asks: "Who is it?" Marlene says: "It's me, Marlene! Can I come in?" Buhdeuce says: "No! But give me a minute, and I'll come out!" Marlene says: "All right!" And Marlene checks her nails to see if there's any dirt underneath them, until Buhdeuce says: "Okay, I'm ready!" And Buhdeuce comes out, all dressed up! Buhdeuce says: "What did you want to talk about?" Marlene says: "It has come to my attention, that you are QUITE the competitor, Buhdeuce!" Buhdeuce says: "Surprisingly, yes! What's your point!" Marlene says: "Well, I'm quite the competitor myself! I was thinking, just how AWESOME this season finale would be, if the two of us ended up going head to head against each other in the Final Two?!" Buhdeuce asks: "You mean like an Alliance?!" Marlene says: "Look, I know it's NOT what you pictured; such as being together with Sway-Sway! But if you were with me, you WOULD be competing against the best!" Buhdeuce asks: "Well, how do I know that YOU'RE not going to try to pull something funny against me?!" Marlene scoffs, and she says: "Please! If I WANTED to TRY to play the 'Flirt Card' with YOU, I would've done it a LONG time ago! And I don't even DO that anymore, BESIDES! The difference is, I'm OFFERING you the opportunity to GET to the Final Two! Can you NAME any OTHER contestant who would HONESTLY offer you that opportunity; and don't say 'Spongebob'!"

Buhdeuce is about to say something, but coughs, clears his throat, and says: "That's...funny! Spongebob, was just what I was ABOUT to say!" Marlene says: "I figured as much! I'm just saying that if Spongebob was ABLE to, he'd take EVERYONE still in the competition right now, to the Final Two! And obviously, he can't do that! He'd have to break the hopes and dreams of five other contestants; something he's only ever done by ACCIDENT, against Bulma Briefs!" Buhdeuce says: "You voted against HER, to!" Marlene says: "Only because I HONESTLY thought she would NEVER keep her promise of voting herself off! It was an HONEST mistake! I admit that! But what would be an even BIGGER mistake, is if I didn't try to recruit the best REMAINING contestant on this show, to come with me to the Final Two! Buhdeuce, we're talking about YOU becoming a REAL Legend, and a TRUE Breadwinner in Sway-Sway's eyes! It's practically a once in a lifetime opportunity!" Buhdeuce's eyes lighten up, and he says: "Well, when you put it THAT way; how could I POSSIBLY pass such an opportunity up? All right, I'm in! Impress me! If you're HALF as good as you SAY you are, we should get to the Final Two in NO time!" Marlene says: "Trust me! I look forward to it!" (Confessional) Marlene looks at the camera, and she says: "Come on! YOU would've made a deal with Buhdeuce, to! A rare sentence, I'll admit! But that duck's ability to go from zero to a relative 60, with 60 being the fastest on my metaphorical scale; Buhdeuce's ability for getting better has been nothing short of PHENOMENAL! And I don't use that word lightly! Besides, the last time, I tried to take the easiest two contestants to compete against, and I got beat! So, by THAT train of logic; if I take the BEST contestant to compete against, I might actually win! I mean, I've never tried THAT out before, so it's WORTH a shot!" /

Buhdeuce says: "Up until now, I wasn't sure of WHO I would take to the Final Two with me! Now, I have a better idea! Only a few obstacles remain in my way! Bubble Bass, Po, and Dudley! Those three contestants all have awesome skills of their own! If Marlene and I are going to at LEAST get to the Final Four, than those three will NEED to be eliminated in order to make that happen! That's the FIRST step! By than, I should know more about the skills of Spongebob and Yakkity, before I make any decisions AFTER that! If there's one thing I've learned from being a Breadwinner, is that you should NEVER make your decisions unless you have all the knowledge you're able to gather, or unless you absolutely have to! Foresight! That's what will give me an edge against Bubble Bass, Po, and Dudley!" (End Confessional) It is breakfast time, and everyone is eating breakfast! Dudley and Yakkity walk into the cafeteria, and Dudley says: "Did you miss us? We're BACK!" Yakkity says: "From Lone Pine, California! And DESPITE the name, there's more than ONE tree visible there!" Po says: "Oh! He took the name LITERALLY! I get it!" Bubble Bass says: "To be fair, it's kind of hard NOT to!" Yakkity says: "Oh, I'm TERRIBLY sorry! And YOUR funny jokes are WHERE?!" Bubble Bass says: "I tend to get into situations that CAUSE a funny outcome; not so much as a result of saying things that are funny! It's a different type of humor, that happens to be situational!" Spongebob says: "And trust me, that type of humor, is NOT as easy as it looks!" Johnny Krill comes in, brings in the gong, and rings it! Johnny Krill says: "Okay everybody! Breakfast time is over! Chameleon was eliminated at the last elimination ceremony, and Sniz requests your appearance at the Moat, to find out about today's legend!" Dudley says: "I already KNOW Chameleon was eliminated! So did everybody else! You didn't NEED to remind us of that!" Johnny says: "I know that! But if I talk more, I get paid more!" Marlene says: "Oh! He is GOOD!" (Confessional) Yakkity says: "In spite of my name, I would NEVER talk just for the SAKE of talking! I would talk if I had something important to say, or if I had a really funny joke on my mind! (Beat) Apparently, this was an exception to the rule, because I thought I would have something MORE to say!" / Po says: "Tigress told me that before I came around to explain the concept to her, she took nearly ALL the jokes that Master Monkey said, at face value! She's a lot better now; but occasionally, there are STILL some metaphors that FLY right past her!" /

Bubble Bass says: "I like taking opportunities on Spongebob Squarepants, that result in unique outcomes! The more unique the outcome, the more interested I am in helping make that happen! I mean, it would REALLY take a LOT of money, to make ME interested in making SOME dumb episode that degrades Squidward's self-esteem and dignity! Otherwise, I won't even BOTHER!" / Spongebob says: "Bubble Bass is a TRUE professional! Not only does he stay in character for the entire filming of an episode, but he ALWAYS tips the valet! Usually, you have to pay EXTRA for that!" / Marlene says: "There are SOME advantages to being EMPLOYED for Sniz, as opposed to being a contestant; not enough to make me want to STOP! I'm just saying!" / Johnny says: "I'm only trying to justify MY need to remain on the show! I'm sure if Fondue were here, he would do the same! But you got to admit, I AM more interesting than Fondue; having actually BEEN a contestant this season!" (End Confessional) The contestants head to the Moat, and are SURPRISED to see Sniz dressed like an Egyptian Pharaoh, being carried on an Egyptian portable mattress by FOUR former contestants! Snaptrap, Blonda, Kitty, and Pearl! Bubble Bass says: "Blonda! Pearl! What are YOU two doing here?!" Blonda says: "I came back, because Squidward had a BREAK in his touring schedule, so I thought I would come back to help you raise Infant Rube! And instead, I get roped into helping Sniz with some INSANE and INANE stunt!" Sniz says: "Hey! My stunts AREN'T insane, compared to some OTHER people who I could, but WON'T mention!" Pearl says: "And I'm here because I won a contest among the other remaining contestants! I was voted the MOST popular ELIMINATED contestant!" Dudley says: "Well, that still doesn't explain Kitty and Snaptrap!" Kitty sighs, and she says: "I'm here, on account that it was MY bad behavior that caused Jenny to have her freak-out, so I'm doing this good deed for Sniz, to get back into his good graces!" Snaptrap says: "And I'm here, because I was ROBBED!!!! I was UNFAIRLY kicked OFF, AGAIN!" Buhdeuce groans, and says: "Just DROP it! You would've JUST been voted OFF in another episode! None of US really LIKED you! I'm not even sure if ANY of us TOLERATED you!"

Snaptrap says: "I didn't ask for YOUR opinion! I mean, if Sniz really WANTS to kick me off, he should at LEAST kick me off for something that I ACTUALLY do! Not something I get FRAMED for doing!" Yakkity says: "Come on! I may be a JOKER, but even I know that it's no joke that you had 'Early Boot' written all over your FACE, metaphorically speaking!" Po says: "You know you're not doing well if even Buhdeuce and Yakkity can TELL that you WEREN'T really a threat to ANY of us!" Snaptrap gets angry, and he says: "LIAR!! I am the BIGGEST threat in Total Cartoon HISTORY! This is the 150th episode, and I'm going to do something...BIG to celebrate the occasion!" Spongebob asks: "BIG? What did you do? Run out of OTHER evil metaphors?" Snaptrap says: "At least I have ONE!" Marlene says: "And ONE is ALL you will ever HAVE; namely, ANGELICA!!!!" Buhdeuce says: "BURN!!!!" (Confessional) Snaptrap says: "Sniz is going to be SORRY he tried to hire ME to do MENIAL labor! If ANYONE deserves to GET $44.44 million, it's going to be ME!!!!" / Blonda mockingly repeats Snaptrap, and she says: "If ANYONE deserves to GET $44.44 million, it's going to be ME!!!!" Than Blonda speaks seriously, and she says: "SERIOUSLY, that's what he SOUNDS like! Does he even LISTEN to himself when he TALKS?! I don't even NEED to use MAGIC to stop him; his plan is going to FAIL like it ALWAYS does!" / Kitty says: "I might be capable of doing CRAZY things, but I would NEVER do anything as INSANE as anything that SNAPTRAP plans to do!" / Pearl says: "What bugs me, is not wondering about whether or NOT Snaptrap WILL be stopped; it's figuring out WHO will be the one to do it!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, you can put me down now!" And all FOUR of the former contestants instantly DROP the portable Egyptian mattress, and Sniz said: "I meant, GRADUALLY! This is why I mostly use General Barracuda for these kinds of stunts!" General Barracuda says: "I don't get PAID enough to CARRY you PHYSICALLY! I only carry you EMOTIONALLY, such as right now!" Sniz says: "Just so long as you carry me SOMEWAY, that's all I care about! In any case, there's a REALLY good reason as to why I'm dressed like an Egyptian Pharaoh this time!" Marlene asks: "It's related to the challenge and legend, isn't it?" Sniz says: "You know us SO well, Marlene! Olmec, tell us what today's legend is!"

Olmec says: "Today's legend, is The Legend Of the Lost Head Dress of Cleopatra!" Yakkity asks: "You mean THE Cleopatra?!" Sniz says: "I don't mean Elizabeth Taylor! Old reference, look it up! In any case, back in the days of the Pharaoh's of Egypt, they would often travel on the Nile in boats and rafts made of Bull Rush Weeds! Normally, we would have you MAKE your own boats! However, legal says that they highly FROWN upon slave labor; so they've been made FOR you! You will each take your own boat, and row it across the Moat! And be sure to avoid the FAKE Nile River Crocodiles within the Moat! Like last time, you will be paired up in groups of two, depending on where you finish!" Buhdeuce says: "One problem; we only HAVE seven contestants!" Sniz says: "Not to worry! The last contestant will be paired with Johnny Krill, as part of our 'Anti-Frustration Feature'!" Johnny says: "HOORAY! I've been called an official writing technique! It took me long enough!" Sniz says: "In Cleopatra's day, she was called a REAL beauty! Not QUITE the face that launched a 1,000 ships, but definitely in the same ball park! So, to help you get in the mood; we will play The Tubes' hit song, 'She's A Beauty'!" Bubble Bass says: "As far as I'm concerned, Blonda; you're the only beauty that I'LL ever need!" Blonda says: "Smart answer!" (Confessional) Blonda says: "You've definitely got to admire a man who keeps his priorities straight!" / General Barracuda says: "Sniz is definitely lucky to have ME around! I provide him with the security that my OWN father never did! Uh...THAT, came out wrong!" / Marlene sighs, and she says: "I REALLY hope I can get to the Final Two! My ability to predict things, is starting to become TOO good!" / Yakkity says: "I got the Elizabeth Taylor reference! I'm not sure if the target demographic would, but that's what Google is for!" / Buhdeuce says: "MAN! Sniz just thinks up of EVERYTHING, doesn't he?!" / Johnny says: "It's kind of sad that I've gotten more relevance WORKING for Sniz, as opposed to being a contestant! But at least I'm STILL more SANE than Snaptrap is!" / Snaptrap mockingly says: "Oh, ow! Rub SALT in my wound, why don't you?!" / Bubble Bass shakes his head, and he says: "Some people just CAN'T take criticism, no matter HOW true it is!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Everyone get into positions! The first two contestants across, will receive a Pendant of Life! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" /

While everyone else (including Po) does a pretty good job of rowing, Bubble Bass ends up being slowed down because of his heavier weight! / The Tubes sing: "Step right up, and don't be shy! Because you will not believe your eyes! She's right here, behind the glass! You're gonna like her, 'cause she's got class! You can look inside another world! You get to talk to a pretty girl! She's everything you dream about! But don't fall in love, she's a beauty! She's one in a million girls, she's a beauty! Why would I lie? Why would I lie? You can say anything you like! But you can't touch the merchandise! She'll give you every penny's worth! But it will cost you, a dollar first! You can step outside your little world! (Step outside) You can talk to a pretty girl! She's everything you dream about! But don't fall in love, she's a beauty! She's one in a million girls! One in a million girls! Why would I lie? Why would I lie? But don't fall in love! If you do, you'll find out, she don't love you! She's one in a million girls! One in a million girls! Why would I lie? Now, why would I lie? Oh! (Musical Break) Step outside your world! But don't fall in love, she's a beauty! She's one in a million girls! One in a million girls! Why would I lie? Now, why would I lie? But don't fall in love! If you do, you'll find out, she don't love you! She's one in a million girls! One in a million girls! Why would I lie? Why would I lie? But don't fall in love! She's one in a million girls!" / And the song ends as everyone finishes crossing! Sniz says: "All right! We've got our pairs of contestants! Marlene and Buhdeuce were the first ones across, so they get a Pendant of Life! And our other pairs of contestants, are Spongebob and Dudley for crossing 3rd and 4th! Yakkity and Po for crossing 5th and 6th! And Bubble Bass will automatically get paired with Johnny Krill!"

Johnny says: "Awesome! It's going to be just like old times again!" Bubble Bass sarcastically says: "If you mean like the times we experienced on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, than I can HARDLY wait!" Johnny says: "And while even I could tell that you were being sarcastic, I'd have to agree that; YES, it WILL be just like the times we experienced on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Maybe even better!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "SHEESH! Even SARCASM doesn't get Johnny Krill down!" / Johnny says: "I'm just ignoring Bubble Bass' sarcasm JUST to be funny with him! Who SAYS Yakkity Yak is the only comedian on this show?" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "We've got to get everyone dried off, but don't go away, because we'll be right back with MORE Total Cartoon Legends!" (Commercial Break) / I'll break here, and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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It's time to find out the conclusion of the second, and final half of the 150th episode, "The Legend Of The Lost Head Dress of Cleopatra!"; just in time for MY birthday! / After the commercials finish, the contestants gather at the Steps of Knowledge. Marlene turns to Buhdeuce, and she asks: "Buhdeuce, what do you think our chances are of beating Bubble Bass?" Buhduece says: "Before today, I would've said; 'Not very good!' But now, I actually think we have a pretty GREAT chance, especially since Bubble Bass is paired with Johnny Krill! I mean, Johnny LITERALLY has no INCENTIVE to help Bubble Bass WIN this challenge!" Johnny says: "Wrong! Sniz says I get paid EXTRA if I HAPPEN to help a contestant win a challenge!" Marlene looks shocked, but she composes herself, and she says: "It HARDLY matters how much YOU try to help! I don't think a contestant who got ELIMINATED in the second episode of this half-season, will be TOO much to worry about!" Johnny says: "We shall see!" (Confessional) Marlene says: "How come I was never offered an opportunity to help any contestants win when I was a paid intern?!" / Buhdeuce says: "Note to self; never assume ANYTHING unless you have ALL the facts!" / Johnny says: "The real reason I found a way to get paid more? I HAD more time than Marlene did to study over the Intern Contract BEFORE I actually signed it! And that's only ONE of the examples, of how I am SMARTER than I look!" (End Confessional) Dudley turns to Spongebob, and Dudley says: "You know, I believe this is the first time in a LONG time that we've EVER worked on a common goal together! Do you think that you're READY to handle the quiz that's going to come our way?!" Spongebob says: "With the exception of Opposite Day, I don't think there ever HAS been, or ever WILL be a time when I WASN'T ready!" Dudley says: "Good! That makes me feel SO much better!" (Confessional) Spongebob says: "Winning challenges is EASY, compared to trying to AVOID voting anyone I like OFF! That's why it would be a real HELP for me to WIN this challenge, so I can have IMMUNITY from voting myself OFF!" /

Dudley says: "Spongebob is definitely nice, but he always tries to carry his niceness for FAR longer than he REALLY should! After all, in my line of work; I don't always have TIME to solve problems the NICEST way! I LITERALLY work for T.U.F.F.! If I CAN solve a problem the nicest way, I'd CERTAINLY do that! But I'm aware that ISN'T always the right solution, especially if there's some kind of crisis going on! But regardless of the crisis, my fellow T.U.F.F. Agents and I can ALWAYS solve a crisis!" / Snaptrap says: "Dudley thinks he can ALWAYS solve a crisis, HUH?! I'll GIVE him a crisis even HE can't solve!" (End Confessional) Po turns to Yakkity, and Po says: "You know, it occurs to me that I STILL don't really know what you're competing for! I mean, you probably already KNOW that I'm competing to avenge Tigress! But how about you? What's YOUR big story?" Yakkity says: "Well, unlike Angelica who told a lie about one of HER grandmothers; I love my grandma VERY much! She's worked hard to raise me for most of my life, and I've always wanted to do something to make her PROUD of the grandson she has raised! I figure that if I can get at least to the Final Four of this competition, I'll finally have enough money to help my Grandma live out her golden years in the comfort and luxury she deserves; and I can safely pursue my comedy career!" Po says: "Wow! That's a truly noble goal! I sure hope you are successful in your endeavors!" (Confessional) Po breathes a sigh of exasperation, and he says: "MAN!!!! Compared to Yakkity's goal, my goal of trying to avenge Tigress sounds so SHALLOW! I can't compete with THAT! I know Tigress won't like it, but I think I have to adjust my plan, so that Yakkity can achieve his dreams! Tigress and I weren't even competing for the money ANYWAYS; since we didn't really NEED the extra money! But since Yakkity has a need FAR more noble than mine, I should do what I can to make his dreams, become a reality!" / Yakkity says: "I'm not sure WHICH of my parents decided to name me, or if they simply lost a bet, and honored it. Either way, I've never actually felt ashamed of my name! And I know my Grandma will always love me! But I want to do something that's MORE than just impressing my Grandma; I want to be a successful comedian, whose jokes will potentially inspire GENERATIONS to be the best versions of themselves! THAT, is my ultimate goal!" (End Confessional)

General Barracuda asks Bubble Bass: "Son; are you feeling all right about yourself?!" Bubble Bass says: "I've only got...well, FIVE other contestants since Spongebob WON'T vote me off no matter what; who want to vote me off, and I'm STUCK with a Prawn who failed the Fifth Grade FIVE times!" Johnny says: "HEY! I'm right HERE! And I ONLY failed the Fifth Grade FOUR times!" Bubble Bass face-palms himself, and he says: "That's...TOTALLY not helping your case!" Johnny says: "All I'm SAYING is, if you're going to INSULT me, at LEAST have the decency to make your INSULTS factually CORRECT!" Bubble Bass sarcastically says: "I'm SO sorry! My SYMPATHIES!!!!" Johnny groans, and he asks: "General Barracuda! Can't YOU do something about your son?!" General Barracuda asks: "Why would I do THAT?! I AGREE with him!" (Confessional) Johnny scoffs, and he says: "And it wasn't even really MY fault that I failed Fifth Grade FOUR times! My academic reports were ALWAYS taken away by the Tattletale Strangler, so he could boost his OWN grades! The JERK!" / Bubble Bass says: "Johnny is the first guy I've ever met who's more upset about INACCURACIES, than he is about being insulted! Talk about your 'Skewed Priorities'!" / General Barracuda says: "And Johnny wonders why I NEVER promoted his past BUCK Private!" (End Confessional) Sniz finally arrives, and he says: "Can you guess what TIME it is?!" Kitty says: "I don't KNOW!!!!" (SPLAT!!!!) And Green Slime falls on her! Kitty says: "WHAT?!!!" Pearl says: "Sorry! The Performance Review had some SLIME left over! They didn't want it to go to waste!" Kitty sarcastically says: "Lucky me! How in the WORLD do you get rid of stains caused by SCHNOZBERRY slime?!" Yakkity reaches into his fur, and he pulls out a bottle of STAIN Remover! Yakkity says: "Try this! It's my Grandmother's own brand of STAIN Remover; Beat It: The Bad, Dangerous Stain Remover that makes stains History! It's a name that's a work in progress, but STILL..." Kitty says: "I'll take it! Yakkity, you ROCK!!!! Cosmo, you DON'T!!!!" Cosmo scoffs, and he says: "I was only HIRED to build the slime pipes! Don't blame ME for your own mistake!" Sniz says: "Well, mistakes are neither here, nor there! It's time for Olmec to tell us MORE about the legend of Cleopatra's lost head dress!"

Olmec says: "Born Cleopatra Philopator VII early in the year of 69 B.C.E., Cleopatra would end up being the last major Pharaoh, during Egypt's Ptolemaic rule. Although Cleopatra had four other siblings attempt to rule as Pharaoh either during her life OR with her; Cleopatra ended up getting the most credit for the events that took place during her life! Among Cleopatra's possessions, was a regal head dress known as a Diadem! The Diadem was Cleopatra's sign as chief Pharaoh of Egypt, and a symbol of her royal divinity, and connection to the Egyptian Gods! Cleopatra's reign as a Pharaoh, began in 51 B.C.E., after the death of her father, Ptolemy XII. However, her reign as Pharaoh was not stable. The Roman Republic, transitioning into an Empire during Cleopatra's life, manipulated Cleopatra's siblings against her; until eventually only Cleopatra and her son Ptolemy XV were left by 44 B.C.E. It wasn't long after that, during the Liberator's Civil War taking place between 43 B.C.E. through 42 B.C.E., to avenge Julius Caesar's assassination, that Cleopatra met and fell in love with Marcus Antonius; better known as Marc Antony! Cleopatra would have three children with Marc Antony; two sons and one daughter. With donations from Cleopatra, she helped fund Marc Antony's military campaigns against the Parthian Empire, and the Kingdom of Armenia. They gave his conquests, to their children. What Cleopatra wasn't aware of, is that Marc Antony divorced his fourth wife, Octavia the Younger, the sister of Octavian or Caesar Augustus, to be with Cleopatra! Octavian, angered by this slight, engaged in a propaganda war against Marc Antony! He forced Marc's allies in the Roman Senate to flee Rome in 32 B.C.E., and on September 2, 31 B.C.E., Octavian soundly beat Marc Antony's forces at the Battle Of Actium! After Marc Antony was beaten again at The Battle of Alexandria, between July 1 through July 30 of 30 B.C.E., Marc Antony committed suicide on August 1, 30 B.C.E.! Learning that Octavian planned to bring Cleopatra to a Roman Triumph procession to humiliate her, Cleopatra decided to spitefully poison herself on August 10, 30 B.C.E., forever denying Octavian his crowning moment of glory! Cleopatra's Head Dress, or Diadem, became lost to the mists of time, until it found it's way to the temple! Your job is to retrieve Cleopatra's Head Dress, and bring it back here!"

Sniz says: "Thanks Olmec! Where can Cleopatra's lost Head Dress, or Diadem be found?" Olmec says: "The Lost Diadem can be found in the Pharaoh's Tomb!" Sniz says: "Okay, you have all the knowledge you need! So all you need to do is--!" But Sniz is interrupted by a LOUD air horn, and through a megaphone, Snaptrap screams: "SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!!!! You think you're SO smart belittling ME for all this time, but I am FINALLY going to get the RESPECT that I DESERVE! I have STOLEN the briefcase containing the $44.44 million in COLD HARD CASH, and unless there's a soul BRAVE enough to storm my elaborate Pyramid DEATH Trap in the Challenge Arena to TRY to beat me, than you will never SEE a CENT from the $44.44 million AGAIN!!!! Consider it my SEVERANCE pay from my time as a Temple Guard!" Bubble Bass says: "As of August 27, 2022; I have seen EVERY single aired episode of Kamp Koral, The Patrick Star Show, and Spongebob Squarepants at LEAST once; so I know what I'm talking about when I'm SAYING...you are COMPLETELY out of your MIND! Don't you know that what you're DOING, is stealing from a contestant who deserves the money FAR more than YOU do?!" Snaptrap asks: "So what if I AM stealing?! Big WHOOP! The American Treasury can ALWAYS just PRINT more money!" Bubble Bass says: "Yeah! And all THAT will do is further DEVALUE the actual VALUE of money, which will make things more EXPENSIVE for EVERYONE, INCLUDING yourself!" Snaptrap screams: "STOP RUINING THINGS FOR ME!!!! This is MY money! I've EARNED it! And it's TIME for all YOU morons to PAY the rent, and PAY your SHARE! See you in the Pyramid, if you're BRAVE enough!" Sniz turns to General Barracuda, and Sniz TENSELY says: "HORATIO; PLEASE tell me that Snaptrap DOESN'T have the ACTUAL case of $44.44 million on him!" General Barracuda angrily yells: "Now, how would I possibly know THAT?! Paragraph 6, Subsection C, of my Employee contract STRICTLY states, that NO Employee of Sniz can, may, or shall EVER know in FULL or in part, the combination to the Safe containing the briefcase that holds $44.44 million in cold hard cash!"

Sniz yells: "CURSE my OWN fine PRINT! Why have you BETRAYED me?! Okay, NEW plan! Whoever STOPS Snaptrap from getting away with what MIGHT be the $44.44 million in cold hard cash, will receive IMMUNITY, and the FREEDOM to eliminate ANY contestant they want; no questions asked!" Buhdeuce says: "Well, when you put it THAT way; what are we WAITING for?! We've got a pyramid to storm!" / And the contestants run to the pyramid, and quickly enter inside! As soon as they enter, The Real Breadwinners start singing THEIR own version of Midnight Oil's hit song "Beds Are Burning", which plays while the contestants avoid all the various death traps of the Pyramid! / Sway-Sway sings: "Way out where the river broke; the blood-wood, and the desert oak! Old boat wrecks and boiling trains, let off steam in ninety-five degrees! The time has come, to say fair's fair! To pay the rent! To pay our share! The time has come! A fact's a fact! It belongs to them! Let's give it back! How can we dance when our Earth is turning? How do we sleep while our beds are burning?! How can we dance when our Earth is turning? How do we sleep while our beds are burning?! The time has come, to say fair's fair! To pay the rent! Now, to pay our share! Four wheels scare the cockatoos, from the Nile Delta; to Cairo, to! The eastern desert lives and breathes, even In ninety-five degrees! The time has come, to say fair's fair! To pay the rent, to pay our share! The time has come! A fact's a fact! It belongs to them! Let's give it back! How can we dance when our earth is turning? How do we sleep while our beds are burning?! How can we dance when our earth is turning? How do we sleep while our beds are burning?! The time has come, to say fair's fair! To pay the rent now, to pay our share! The time has come! A fact's a fact! It belongs to them, we're gonna give it back! The time has come, to say fair's fair! To pay the rent now, to pay our share! The time has come! A fact's a fact! It belongs to them, we're gonna give it back! The time has come, to say fair's fair! To pay the rent now, to pay our share! The time has come! A fact's a fact! It belongs to them, we're gonna give it back! The time has come, to say fair's fair! To pay the rent now, to pay our share! The time has come! A fact's a fact! It belongs to them, we're gonna give it back!" / And the song fades out as the contestants finally make it to Snaptrap's inner-most chamber!

Snaptrap sputters and he says: "WHAT?! The poisonous snakes, scorpions, arrows, javelins, huge boulders, spike traps, and flame-thrower traps didn't scare you OFF?!!!" Buhdeuce scoffs, and he says: "You're kidding, RIGHT?!!! Do you have ANY idea of the kinds of monsters and threats I had to deal with on MY show?! That was a PICNIC!" Marlene says: "Why don't you just give it UP, Snaptrap?! Even against only SEVEN of us, we're STILL too much for you to HANDLE!!!!" Snaptrap angrily says: "Look, I promised Angelica on the DARKEST, blackest part of my soul that I WOULD return with the $44.44 million the way she was NEVER able to; and I'm going to KEEP that promise, no matter WHAT it takes!" Spongebob asks: "But is this the way you REALLY want to do it?! As a big, FAT crook?! If you have to STEAL something just to say you CAN, does that really fulfill you in the END?! Besides, even if you COULD get away from us, you and Angelica would have to live on the run for the REST of your LIVES! Do you think Angelica could POSSIBLY live with you like THAT?!" Snaptrap yells: "LIVE?!!! I'll tell YOU what it's like to live as a RAT!!!! I've spent EIGHTEEN years, as a single DIME worth orphan in an ORPHANAGE filled with around 3,102 orphans, and I watched EVERY other SICK and UNATTRACTIVE orphan GET adopted EXCEPT me! Well, FINALLY; all my WAITING has paid off, and no MISERABLE excuse for a yellow sponge, is going to TALK me out of this NOW!!!!" Bubble Bass yells: "Hey! Talking SMACK against Spongebob and ACTUALLY meaning it?! That's going TOO far!" Snaptrap mockingly says: "OOH, I'm SO scared! What you gonna do; use your BUBBLES against ME?!" Bubble Bass smiles, and he says: "That's PRECISELY what I was going to do! You want to see what bubbles can REALLY do?! I'd be glad to SHOW you!!!!"

And using the FULL extent of his bubble powers for perhaps the first time ever, to the tune of "Ride of The Valkyries", Bubble bass creates Bubble versions of Kowalski, Private, Kaput, Johnny Krill, Haggis McHaggis, Monster Krumholtz, Darwin, Heffer Wolfe, Judy Funny, Sway-Sway, Invader Zim, Gonard, Blonda, Squidward Tentacles, Tigress, Otto Rocket, Dog, Zarbon, Super Chum, Kitty Katswell, Jenny Wakeman, Treeflower Fields, Gerald, Fee, Harvey Beaks, Daggett Beaver, Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Bulma Briefs, Keswick, Taotie, Stimpy J. Cat, Sandy Cheeks, Larry The Lobster, Wally, Future Adult Rube Goldfish, and Chameleon! Bubble Bass says: "Since MOST of the contestants that have been eliminated CAN'T be here in PERSON, I thought I'd do the NEXT best thing, and summon Bubble versions of MANY of the OTHER former contestants, to fight against YOU! Bubble contestants, SHOW Snaptrap what you're MADE of!"

And the bubble creations SURPRISINGLY use all the skills of their real life-counterparts to fight against Snaptrap! Bubble Kowalski and Bubble Private use their penguin spy skills to electrify and burn Snaptrap! Bubble Kaput fires his alien lasers, and Bubble Johnny Krill shreds a skateboard all over Snaptrap! Bubble Haggis McHaggis whacks Snaptrap with his shellaighlee, and Bubble Monster Krumholtz RAMS Snaptrap with his horns! Bubble Darwin throws coconuts at Snaptrap, while Bubble Heffer Wolfe SLAMS against Snaptrap with his weight! Bubble Sway-Sway uses his power punches to pummel Snaptrap, and Bubble Invader Zim accompanies Bubble Kaput with alien lasers! Bubble Squidward Tentacles plays his clarinet as LOUDLY as he can to HURT Snaptrap's ears, and Bubble Otto Rocket accompanies Bubble Johnny Krill on skateboard shredding! Bubble Dog actually BITES Snaptrap as hard as he can, while Bubble Zarbon fires very BEAUTIFUL Arrows of Light! Bubble Super Chum accompanies Bubble Sway-Sway with power punch pummeling, while Bubble Kitty Katswell uses her claws! Bubble Jenny Wakeman uses HER bubble robot laser eyes, while Bubble Treeflower and Bubble Daggett accompany Bubble Dog with biting! Bubble Pearl Krabs Barracuda accompanies Bubble Heffer Wolfe with slamming against Snaptrap with his weight, while Bubble Taotie rams Snaptrap with his tusks! Bubble Stimpy J. Cat accompanies Bubble Kitty with claw swiping, while Bubble Sandy Cheeks uses her karate skills against Snaptrap! Bubble Larry the Lobster uses his claw pincers to squeeze Snaptrap in a matter MOST uncomfortably, while Bubble Wally uses HIS telekinesis to keep THROWING various food items at Snaptrap! Bubble Chameleon keeps taking turns transforming into bubble versions of the other former contestants and using THEIR skills, and Bubble Tigress saves HER skills for last, as she winds up the most POWERFUL punch she can, and KNOCKS Snaptrap all the way to near the TOP of the inside of the Pyramid, where his CLOTHES get caught on the Statue of Anubis! Snaptrap yells: "HELP!!!! I can't get DOWN!!!!" Yakkity says: "After trying to steal the $44.44 million, you DESERVE to be left up THERE!" (RIP!!!!) And the contestants suddenly become HORRIFIED, as Snaptrap's clothes are slowly being RIPPED away, due to being caught in the sharp teeth of a stone Anubis statue!

Snaptrap actually PANICS, and he says: "I don't think my clothes will hold out for much LONGER! Help me and I'll...give, BACK the case!" Buhdeuce asks: "Should we help?" Dudley asks: "Is it the right thing to do?" Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "Well, probably NOT; but I WILL anyways! Bubble Creations, slow down and re-direct his fall!" Po asks: "Can't you just catch him?!" Bubble Bass says: "That's NOT how breaking a fall, WORKS! If you try to just catch them WHILE they're falling, you RISK breaking their back or neck, because you're zooming at a velocity that doesn't GRADUALLY slow down their fall!" Spongebob says: "Even I know THAT one!" Bubble Bass says: "That's why you have to slow down, and re-direct their fall, FIRST!!!!" And the Bubble Creations manage to fly up to Snaptrap, just as his lab-coat and pants FINALLY rip away completely, and the Bubble Creations SAFELY slow down Snaptrap's descent, and gradually re-direct his fall, until both he and the case, make it SAFELY to the ground floor! Snaptrap, utterly confused, says: "You beat me up! But...you saved me! Why?" Bubble Bass sighs, and he says: "For one simple reason, I was once LIKE you! Patrick, Spongebob, and Larry, helped point out the error of my behavior, and how it wouldn't help me out in life. Johnny Krill, and Tigress helped me become even better after that, and I became a genuine good guy! And...even if you physically ARE a rat, even someone like you, deserves someone to love you; with or without $44.44 million dollars! And that's something that you SHOULD feel good about! Do you feel good about it?" Snaptrap STOPS and thinks about it, and he says: "I...actually feel good. Something's strange! I don't feel MAD or CRAZY anymore! It's like, all the angry thoughts that were in MY head, have vanished without a trace!" Than the Bubble Creations suddenly point at Snaptrap's clothes! Po says: "I think your bubble creations are trying to tell you something!" Bubble Bass says: "Bubble creations, magnify the chemical make-up of Snaptrap's clothes!" And the bubble creations become a giant MAGNIFYING bubble, and show EVERYONE, that tiny, sinister, purple magical parasites were swarming all OVER Snaptrap's clothes!

Blonda finally comes in, and she says: "I recognize THAT magic! That's Anti-Fairy magic! No WONDER Snaptrap was acting so crazy and EVIL! Those purple parasites were AGITATING him to practically FORCE him to act that way! There's only ONE logical explanation! ANTI-COSMO!!!!" Anti-Cosmo suddenly poofs in, and he says: "So, you FINALLY figured it out! I was WONDERING how long it would take you!" Po says: "Anti-Cosmo, you pulled a LOT of stunts against us in the past, but THIS is the LOWEST! Where do you GET OFF, making even SNAPTRAP bend to YOUR wicked whims?!" Dudley says: "You've made ME fight against Snaptrap for the wrong reasons! If I had known that microscopic parasites were causing the problem, I could've had Keswick medically HELP him!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Let's just say I finally got TIRED of you goody-good doers always mucking about, RUINING my plans! I thought that if I had Snaptrap create the most DIABOLIC death trap ever, I could FINALLY stop you once and for all! All you HAD to do, was to get MANGLED to death in a HORRIFYING way, but NO!!!! Nevertheless, YOU persisted!" Marlene says: "Because that's what we DO?! Don't you GET IT?!!! No matter HOW often you fight, or HOW hard you try; the more you TRY to bring us DOWN, the more we'll KEEP rising up against you!" Yakkity says: "Face the facts! No matter HOW often you try to stop ANYONE from doing what is right, you will INEVITABLY fail in your pursuits! Just like you ALWAYS have, and you ALWAYS will!" Anti-Cosmo angrily says: "FINE!!!! If SNAPTRAP can't have the $44.44 million dollars, NOBODY CAN!!!! But first, I'm going to open up the case, and show ALL of you the money that you will NEVER have! And do you KNOW who can stop me THIS time?!!!" Spongebob asks: "Who?!" Anti-Cosmo gets a grin JUST like Chuck Jones' version of The Grinch, and he SCREAMS as he begins to unlock the briefcase, "I DON'T KNOW!!!!" (SPLAT!!!!) And green slime spews OUT of the case as the theme for "You Can't Do That On Television" plays! Blonda says: "I guess he got the DECOY briefcase!" Anti-Cosmo cries, and he says: "Boo-hoo-hoo, MY MONEY!!!!" Anti-Cosmo angrily says: "YOU--!!!!" And the Bubble Creations QUICKLY surround Anti-Cosmo, and completely BLOCK his voice from making any audible sound to the contestants, AND the audience!

The bubble lets up a little, and Anti-Cosmo angrily says: "Just WAIT until I get out of here, and bring the WHOLE squadron of Anti-Fairies on you! You're going to be in SO much pain, you'll be eating out of STRAWS for the REST of your LIVES!!!!" Sniz finally arrives, and he says: "You can GUESS again! Do you know the kind of magical power I've endowed Blonda with?" Anti-Cosmo asks: "What?!" Sniz says: "The ULTIMATE safeguard, in case you EVER tried to go THAT far, or threaten anybody with THAT much!" Blonda poofs up a pink sheet of paper and she says: "Read it, and WEEP Anti-Cosmo!" Anti-Cosmo reads it aloud, and says: "Effective immediately, all Anti-Fairies and Pixies are FIRED and COMPLETELY stripped of their MAGIC?!!!" And just like that, Anti-Cosmo loses his wand, his bat wings, and his crown no longer FLOATS over him! Anti-Cosmo screams: "NO!!!! I just wanted to make everybody else's lives more MISERABLE than mine! Was THAT so WRONG?!!!" Everyone else screams: "YES!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "I don't care WHAT kind of excuse you might have for DOING all of the evil that you've done! NO excuse is good enough to explain you FREAKING out like a JERK and TRYING to make everyone else's lives MISERABLE! Anti-Cosmo screams: "And I would've gotten AWAY with it, too! If it weren't for you meddling, SONS of--!!!!" And the bubble COMPLETELY muffles Anti-Cosmo again, and Sniz says: "And more importantly, you're going to jail with the attempted death of Snaptrap, attempted theft and destruction of money OVER $5 dollars, and for all the STUPID stunts you pulled against Bubble Bass during Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" Johnny says: "I added THAT one myself!" Anti-Cosmo says: "You can't send me to jail! I'm too PRETTY to do HARD time!" Marlene says: "Tell it to someone who cares! I have a FEELING you WON'T be alone for LONG!!!!" And Blonda poofs up a police car, and Anti-Cosmo screams: "No! NO! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And Anti-Cosmo gets thrown into the police car, and it drives away! Po says: "YES!!!! Anti-Cosmo is FINALLY out of the picture for good!"

Snaptrap sighs, and he says: "And for once, I FINALLY feel a sense of peace, and happiness! Bubble Bass, you SAVED me! Even after ALL the terrible things I did under Anti-Cosmo's influence!" Bubble Bass says: "I wanted to give you the chance that no one else ever gave you; the chance to live your life in happiness and peace." Snaptrap says: "Well, I think I can do that, now. Sniz, NOW you can kick me off, for something that I've actually done; even if it WASN'T completely my fault!" Sniz says: "Well, first things first; since our $44.44 million IS still locked up in the safe, that means the money was NEVER in danger! So, we still need to figure out who wins this challenge!" Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "Well, how about I make it easier on everybody else? I feel like I've done all I can do on this show." Spongebob asks: "What are you saying?" Bubble Bass says: "Spongebob, I know you would NEVER choose to eliminate me; so I won't even try to MAKE you choose to do that! Sniz, I QUIT!!!!" Marlene is actually SHOCKED, and says: "WOW! I...never saw THAT coming!" Buhdeuce says: "I'm shocked to, and that's by Breadwinners standards!" Yakkity says: "It...won't be the same without you, Bubble Bass." Po says: "Bubble Bass, you were truly a worthy opponent, and strong of both heart and mind. I will definitely miss having YOU around here!" Dudley says: "If you ever want to take a job at T.U.F.F., you're ALWAYS welcome to do so!" Spongebob says: "Bubble Bass, you know I'm going to miss you." Bubble Bass sighs, and he says: "I'll miss you, to. Just remember, no matter what happens; you'll ALWAYS be a legend, when it comes to being a bubble blower, a jellyfisher, and a fry cook. And those three abilities, you learned ALL by yourself!" Spongebob says: "Thank you, Bubble Bass; for everything!" General Barracuda says: "One thing! Bubble Bass can't leave on the Mine Cart of Shame! He's got Infant Rube! And we can't safely let Infant Rube ride on a vehicle of THAT speed and velocity!" Johnny Krill asks: "Can't we let Bubble Bass and Infant Rube leave on the Limo of Shame?" Sniz says: "Of COURSE we can! I'm more than reasonable enough to put the safety of Infant Rube and Bubble Bass first!" Bubble Bass sighs in relief, and he says: "Thank you, Sniz! I'll get ready!"

(Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "So, since Bubble Bass quit the game, Sniz felt there was no need to due the Steps of Knowledge, the Challenge Arena, or the Temple Run this time! At least he didn't have a reward planned, so it's not like we're missing anything!" / Marlene says: "Well, it finally happened. It took longer than I expected, but it happened. All of the former champs are FINALLY out of the game! Now, the REAL challenge begins!" / Po sighs, and he says: "With Bubble Bass out of the game, it won't be much longer before I'M targeted next! It's...really not much of a comfort to HAVE that knowledge, especially since there isn't much I can really DO about it!" / Spongebob says: "Bubble Bass helped me get THIS far! Now, it's up to me to go the rest of the way! Sandy, Larry, Squidward, Pearl, Future Rube, and even Johnny Krill are all counting on ME know! I won't let them down!" / Dudley says: "Truly, it is ANYBODY'S game now! I just hope it can be MINE!" / Yakkity says: "Grandma, I am one step closer, to making you proud!" (End Confessional) It is night-time, and all the contestants have a chocolate pendant of life, except for Bubble Bass! Bubble Bass packs everything he brought with him into the Limo of Shame, once again being driven by Gordon Quid! Gordon says: "I figured I'd take THIS job again! I'm less likely to be hit by a stray mine-cart! Bubble Bass says: "Well, guys and Marlene; it's been really fun! Infant Rube and I hope you enjoyed the show!" And Infant Rube, sitting on Bubble Bass' right shoulder, claps his fins in agreement! Bubble Bass says: "We're sorry, but we have to go! Don't take any wooden nickles, and don't take ANY rides from strangers!" Buhdeuce says: "We weren't PLANNING to!" Bubble Bass says: "Say good-bye, Infant Rube!" Infant Rube says: "Bye-bye!" And Bubble Bass and Infant Rube get into the Limo of Shame. Bubble Bass says: "Gordon, take us away." And the Limo of Shame drives off. Sniz says: "That leaves one matter left to resolve, in Snaptrap!" Snaptrap puts a helmet on and he says: "No need to worry THIS time! I know that I couldn't POSSIBLY stay, so I'm perfectly willing to go!" Dudley scoffs, and he says: "Oh, sure! NOW he has a pleasant personality!" Snaptrap gets himself strapped into the Mine Cart of Shame! Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Than 3, 2, 1, BLAST-OFF!!!!"

And Snaptrap rockets down the Mine Cart Rails, through the portal of the Mine Shaft of Shame! Sniz says: "And just like that, the last former champ has been eliminated, and in the GODDESS slot, no less! Bulma is going to be pretty MAD about that, probably! We now have six contestants left! Who's going to win? It's anybody's guess NOW! But we'll get one step closer to answering it, on the next episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "An exciting experience in THIS life, or ANY life!" / Stinger: Snaptrap exits out of the Mine Shaft desert, and into an area RIGHT in the middle of Nevada! Snaptrap says: "I don't understand WHY I ended up here THIS time! In Winnemucca, Nevada! I don't even KNOW anybody here!" And a familiar female voice says: "Oh, DON'T you?!" Snaptrap asks: "Dora the Explorer?! What are YOU doing here?!" Dora says: "Don't BLOW my cover! Look! That BULMA unfairly cheated ME off! I am going BACK to Total Cartoon Legends, and get the MONEY that is OWED of me!" Snaptrap says: "Dora, I LITERALLY just TRIED that plan! It didn't work!" Dora says: "Ah, CRUD!!!! What am I supposed to do NOW?!" Snaptrap says: "I don't know, but I know what I'm GOING to do! I am GOING to call your PARENTS to tell them you're SKIPPING out on YOUR punishment!" Dora panicks, and she says: "But YOU'RE supposed to be EVIL and ACCEPTING of this type of behavior! You can't turn ME back in!" Snaptrap seriously says: "If you really WANT to keep your freedom, you better RUN while you still have a chance!" Dora groans, and she says: "Oh, I hope the snacks and spare shoes in my Backpack can hold me out until I at LEAST get to Reno, Nevada!" And Dora runs off without looking back! And sure enough, Snaptrap calls on his cell phone, and he says: "Hello, is this the mother and/or father of Dora The Explorer? I'd like to inform you that Dora's trying to skip out on her punishment, and is trying to make a break for Reno, Nevada! If you hurry, you can catch her before she makes it out of Winnemucca, Nevada!" And Snaptrap hangs up, and he says: "It feels SO good, when the shoe is FINALLY on the other foot!" /

Episode Notes: Snaptrap, Blonda, Kitty, and Pearl make cameo appearances in this episode. First time that the FULL extent of Bubble Bass' bubble powers has FINALLY been seen! Snaptrap's evil, is FINALLY explained by magical parasites created by Anti-Cosmo, to make him evil! Anti-Cosmo and all his fellow Anti-Fairies, are FINALLY stripped of their magic and jobs, and Anti-Cosmo is sent to jail! Bubble Bass quits the game with Infant Rube, and take the Limo of Shame. Snaptrap becomes the first contestant to take the Mine Cart of Shame TWICE! Featured songs in this episode, "Something" by The Beatles; "She's A Beauty" by The Tubes; and Midnight Oil's "Beds Are Burning" in a version performed by The Real Breadwinners. Eliminated Contestants: 46. Kowalski. 45. Private. 44. Kaput. 43. Johnny Krill. 42. Haggis McHaggis. 41. Monster Krumholtz. 40. Aang. 39. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 38. Darwin. 37. Heffer Wolfe. 36. Judy Funny. 35. Sway-Sway. 34. Invader Zim. 33. Gonard. 32. Blonda. 31. Squidward Tentacles. 30. Dora the Explorer. 29. Tigress. 28. Otto Rocket. 27. Dog. 26. Zarbon. 25. Super Chum. 24. Kitty Katswell. 23. Jenny Wakeman. 22. Treeflower Fields. 21. Gerald. 20. Fee. 19. Harvey Beaks. 18. Daggett Beaver. 17. Pearl Krabs Barracuda. 16. Bulma Briefs. 15. Keswick. 14. Taotie. 13. Stimpy J. Cat. 12. Sandy Cheeks. 11. Larry The Lobster. 10. Wally. 9. Future Adult Rube Goldfish. 8. Chameleon. 7. Bubble Bass. Remaining Contestants: Spongebob Squarepants ("Spongebob Squarepants"). Marlene Otter ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"). Buhdeuce ("Breadwinners"). Po, ("Kung Fu Panda: Legends Of Awesomeness"). Dudley Puppy ("T.U.F.F. Puppy"). Yakkity Yak, ("Yakkity Yak"). /

Personal Notes: In some seasons, there are occasions where characters that I would've never EXPECTED to be compelling to me, end up doing so! Not counting season one (my "Early Installment Weirdness"), there was Dog in season two; Patrick in season three; and starting in season four, Bubble Bass! Bubble Bass surprisingly ended up as one of the most complex and interesting characters I ever had the opportunity to write for! His thought process, and examining an evolution from a relative amoral, self-centered jerk; to a caring, compassionate father who really appreciated his friends, was nothing short of fascinating! Needless to say, I wanted to carry Bubble Bass' story for as long as I felt it would help move the story forward! Now that Bubble Bass' part in the story is over, it's time for someone else to shine! I hope you enjoyed reading this story, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

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Bubble Bass may be gone, but the story goes on! It's time to get Oriental with today's episode of "Total Cartoon Legends!" / Sniz is standing with some props from the Emperor's Chamber and the Hall of Armor, drinking a large Diet Pepsi, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Legends, the Final Seven were competing against each other, to figure out who knew the most about the legendary Egyptian Pharaoh Cleopatra! Unfortunately, before any of them could put their knowledge to the test, Snaptrap came back to look for REVENGE, and tried to steal away the $44.44 million! The contestants, not wanting all of their hard work to be for nothing, went after him! After braving the death traps of Snaptrap's pyramid, Bubble Bass utilized the full extent of his bubble powers, and beat the living daylights out of Snaptrap! As it turns out, Snaptrap's clothes had been infected with magical purple parasites, which FORCED him to be evil! And they had been put there by none other than Anti-Cosmo! For Anti-Cosmo's role in attempting to steal the $44.44 million, I fired him AND the rest of the Pixies and Anti-Fairies, stripped them of ALL of their magic, and put Anti-Cosmo in jail! Bubble Bass, deciding that he didn't want to have to force Spongebob to try to vote him off, Bubble Bass decided to willingly quit the challenge instead, and took Infant Rube with him on the Limo of Shame. Snaptrap ended up being the one, who had to take the Mine Cart of Shame home, for the second and LAST time; HOPEFULLY! Now, we are down to just six contestants! One contestant from each show remaining! While none of them has ever won a season before, they're all hoping to do so now! Who has the knowledge to make it down the Steps of Knowledge? Who has the skills to persevere in the Challenge Arena? And WHO will get me another Diet Pepsi?!" Johnny Krill rushes in with another large Diet Pepsi, and he says: "Here you go, sir!" Sniz says: "Well, for all the other questions, find out the answers on today's episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "An enduring part, of the Nickelodeon Dynasty!" / Instead of the normal show open, it instead shows live-action clips taken from various media sources, about average Chinese life, taken between 1990 through 2019, all set to Billy Joel's song, "The Great Wall Of China"! /

Billy Joel sings: "Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah,ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah, Hey! Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! Hey! Advice is cheap, you can take it from me! It's yours to keep, 'cause opinions are free! Nobody knows about the trouble I've seen! Nobody's perfect, mister, nobody's clean! It cost too much, and takes too long to find out, too late! Some words are not heard 'til after they're spoken! Your role was protective, your soul was too defective! Some people just don't have a heart to be broken! We could have gone all the way to the Great Wall of China, if you'd only had a little more faith in me! In lieu of diamonds, gold and platinum reminders will still shine bright! Now all the king's men and all the king's horses, can't put you together the way you used to be! We could have been standing on the Great Wall of China! Hey! You take a piece of whatever you touch! Too many pieces means, you're touching too much! You never win if you can't play it straight! You only beat me if you get me to hate! It must be so lonely to think that you have only somebody else's life to live if they let you! I ain't too selective, but it don't take no detective, to find out how fast your friends will forget you! We could have gone all the way to the Great Wall of China! Now all you're going to be is history! Help yourself, it's all you can eat at the Empire Diner tonight! You coulda had class, you coulda have been a contender! Charlie, you shoulda looked out for me! You could have been standing, standing on the Great Wall of China! Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah,ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah, Hey! Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! Ah! (Instrumental Break) This was not your calling, just look how far you've fallen! I heard your story, man, you've got to be joking! Keep things in perspective, this is my true objective! Why tear this heart out if it's only been broken? We could have gone all the way to the Great Wall of China, if you'd only had a little more faith in me! In lieu of diamonds, gold and platinum reminders will still shine bright! Now, all the king's men and all the king's horses, can't put you together the way you used to be! We could have been standing, standing on the Great Wall of China! Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Ah!" (Scats until the song and montage ends). /

"The Legend Of The Lost Terra Cotta Statue of Emperor Qin (Pronounced Chin) Shi Huang!" / It's late at night, and Yakkity is facing his first night alone without Bubble Bass or Infant Rube in the same room with him. Yakkity sighs, and he says: "It feels so WEIRD how much bigger, and emptier this room feels, without Bubble Bass and Infant Rube around. I should be happier, because now I'll get my normal sleep rhythm back! But now, I feel as if I can't sleep the way I used to! I guess, you really don't know WHAT you have, until you don't have it anymore!" And than he hears a knocking on his door. Yakkity asks: "Who is it?" Spongebob says: "It's me, Spongebob! Can I come in?" Yakkity says: "Of course!" And Yakkity opens up the door, seeing Spongebob standing there with what looks like ALL of the belongings Spongebob brought with him! Yakkity asks: "You can't sleep on your own, either; can you?" Spongebob asks: "Is it THAT obvious?" Yakkity says: "Well, kind of! But, come on in, anyways!" Spongebob comes in, and he says: "I know, it should be silly to be so hung up over losing Bubble Bass, but he was the last real friend that I HAD in this competition! And now...I have to face the rest of this competition alone! I know that I have the ability to do it, it's not the first time I've ever been alone. It just...makes me realize, that the hopes that all of my friends who started this half-season WITH me, they're now all depending on me! So, I have to try to win for THEM, as well as myself! And...I'm not sure if I can handle this kind of pressure on my own!" Yakkity says: "Well...maybe, you don't have to really BE alone!" Spongebob asks: "What are you saying?" Yakkity sighs, and he says: "All season long, I've had to represent MY show all on my own! My grandma, and my friends, are all counting on me to make them proud! And...I never thought I could get this far! In fact, if it weren't for Bulma's support, I'm not sure I would've gotten this far!" Spongebob says: "That's not true! You're a funny comedian, and you're a really nice guy! And the truth of the matter is, I'm ALWAYS hurt when Nickelodeon promotes mostly MY show at the expense of all others, such as your own! For the longest time, I've wanted to make it up to you, because I've always felt like you never really got the opportunity that you REALLY deserve! Maybe...it would be a good idea for the two of us to team up together!" Yakkity excitedly asks: "You mean, like a REAL alliance?!"

Spongebob says: "Sure. I don't really want to be alone, and you could use someone to help you get to the Final Four! And if we both work together, we could help make BOTH of our dreams come true! Even if you only FINISHED in fourth place, you'd STILL get to go home with $40 million in cold hard cash! MORE than enough to give your Grandma what she deserves, and enough to help support you while you get your comedy career started!" Yakkity says: "That would be one of the nicest things anyone has EVER offered me! All right! I'll take it! Besides, if I get to be with you, I'll be partnering with one of the most well-liked contestants on this show!" Spongebob asks: "You think I'm well-liked?!" Yakkity says: "To be honest, it would be pretty hard for anyone to NOT like you!" (Confessional) Spongebob says: "Honestly? Going to Yakkity felt like the right thing to do. Po...seems to be on his LAST legs! There's no WAY everyone else will want to keep him on this show! Dudley seems to be a little too serious for MY tastes, and Buhdeuce and Marlene are already IN an alliance, as strange as THAT seems! If either Yakkity and I are going to have the best chance of getting to the Final Four, we need to be in an alliance together! That way, if I win challenges, I can use my OWN immunity to vote myself off, so I don't have to vote anyone else off! All I need to do is to help Yakkity win two more challenges! Granted, it won't be as easy as it sounds; but I'm willing to do it, because Yakkity is SUCH a good guy, he DESERVES my best!" / Yakkity says: "In my last partnership with Bulma, I always felt like Bulma saw me as sub-ordinate to her at BEST, and just a vote to help HER vote off whoever SHE wanted at WORST! But with Spongebob? I feel as though he treats me like an EQUAL! He doesn't think he's superior to me, or to anyone else; even if he somehow actually IS! I feel like making a partnership with Spongebob, regardless of how long it lasts; will be a good move for me! Not only is it my best chance of making it to the Final Four, but I might even get some comedy tips, from a REAL master of funny laughs himself! Grandma; one way or another, your Yakkity is going to come home a winner, and a TRUE legend!" (End Confessional) It is early morning, and Buhdeuce and Marlene are having a meeting together in the hotel lobby room. Marlene says: "Well Buhdeuce, we did it! Somehow or another, we did it! Bubble Bass is gone, which means we're one small step to one GIANT leap to getting to the Final Three!"

Buhdeuce says: "Technically speaking, Bubble Bass is gone ONLY because he eliminated himself!" Marlene says: "Potato, tomato, semantics! The point is, we need to keep our game up! If we want to get to the Final Three, our best bet is for eliminating the next strongest contestant! And do you know who THAT would be?!" Buhdeuce says: "Of course! It's got to be Po! Even with all of MY video game skills, even I would have difficulty of taking Po in a one on one fight!" Marlene says: "Well, we're LUCKY Yakkity told Po about why Yakkity is competing! Po...just hasn't seemed really invested in competing since than!" Buhdeuce says: "Doesn't that seem WEIRD to you? Po managed to propel himself for so long just TRYING to compete on Tigress' behalf! Why would he stop after Yakkity talked to him?" Marlene says: "Well, when it comes right down to it, Po is the Dragon Warrior! As such, he is HIGHLY invested in doing the most honorable and RIGHT thing by EVERYONE, even if such a thing doesn't get HIM the grand prize money in the end! Po must have felt that Yakkity's desires were FAR more honorable than Po's own desires! And THAT, is just the kind of break that we need!" Buhdeuce asks: "What are you talking about?" Marlene says: "Well, if Po had his FULL sense of composure and wits about him, he would use all his strength and athletic skills AGAINST us! But if is mind ISN'T completely focused on winning, we can USE that to our advantage; beat him, and vote him out of the competition!" Buhdeuce says: "Look; I want to make Sway-Sway proud of me, just as much as you...want to prove whatever point YOU'RE trying to make! But wouldn't eliminating Po be a DISHONORABLE move in itself?!" Marlene asks: "Well, what else can I suggest?! In a show of this nature, SOMEONE has to lose! And I don't intend on it being ME again! Do you really want to lose THIS close to the Final Three?!" Buhdeuce says: "Well, no." Marlene says: "Than we HAVE to make this tough decision! Besides, you know that if the situation were REVERSED, Tigress wouldn't hesitate for a SECOND to avenge Po against us!" Buhdeuce sighs, and he says: "Yeah, you're probably right!"

(Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "Up until now, I've been just FINE riding the Tigress train of beating other contestants; mostly because, most of them ignored and ridiculed me! But now that it's just the six of us, it feels harder to do! Po, Dudley, Yakkity, Marlene, and Spongebob all have THEIR reasons for competing just as much as I do! Ideally, I WOULD play Spongebob's tactic, of voting for myself when I won Immunity Challenges, but I think realistically, that boat has LONG set sail for me! And fortune doesn't really favor those who hesitate to take action! So, if Po ISN'T going to try to keep himself in the game, than he only has himself to blame, and I personally wash my wings of ANY fault he thinks that I might have for his OWN decision not to take any initiative!" / Marlene says: "I feel that the reason I faltered in my first two seasons, is that I spent FAR too much time trying to focus the game on ME! I was SO narcissistic, it's no WONDER I didn't get the grand prize in EITHER of those seasons! That's why I purposely held back this season, I needed to FEEL out the other contestants, and see if any of THEIR needs was greater than my own! And even though the other contestants DO have pretty good needs, I can't stop my game now! I need to carry on my strategy to the very end! And with Buhdeuce's passion and development of his skills, along with my OWN knowledge; I have just about everything I need, to get the BOTH of us to the Final Three!" (End Confessional) It is breakfast time, and everyone is eating breakfast; EXCEPT for Po, who really isn't touching his food! Dudley says: "Po, what's up with you?! Usually, you can't WAIT to get your hands on breakfast; and you've barely taken MORE than a few bites of your food!" Po asks: "How could I POSSIBLY enjoy breakfast, due to two IMPORTANT factors?! First off, everyone ELSE besides Spongebob is going to target ME for elimination BECAUSE I'm the strongest! Secondly, if I win; I'd possibly be depriving Yakkity of HIS desires to help make his Grandma proud of him, and I can't see myself doing that! Not to mention, Tigress won't be happy if I just quit! So, I have found myself in a Lose-Lose-LOSE situation!" Buhdeuce winces, and he says: "Oh, that is going to make eliminating Po SO much harder for me!"

Marlene says: "He KNEW what he was signing up for when he GOT into this thing! If he REALLY didn't want to disappoint Tigress so much, he would've quit soon after SHE did!" Johnny Krill comes in, rings a gong, and he says: "Attention contestants! At the last challenge, we lost our last former champ, Bubble Bass! The time for eating breakfast, is over! Please come to the Moat, to find out about today's challenge, that is all!" Dudley asks: "Just one question, do you HAVE to ring that gong EVERY time?!" Johnny says: "Especially THIS time! You'll find out why when you go to the Moat!" Po looks at the rest of his food, and he says: "Well, no sense letting this food go to waste!" And he devours the rest of it as fast as he possibly can! (Confessional) Dudley says: "Well, the mystery of the gong is solved!" / Po says: "Normally, losing a challenge should be EASY! It's making the loss look CONVINCING, that's going to be the HARD part to sell to Tigress!" / Buhdeuce winces, and he says: "Why do I suddenly have the SINKING feeling that today's challenge, the challenge where we SHOULD eliminate Po, is going to be FAR much harder than it should be?" / Marlene says: "Look; by all rights, Tigress really SHOULD be the one to be here right now! She was by FAR the strongest out of all of us! But since she's not, I have to do what I need to do, just as much as everyone else! And that's a prospect, that I definitely don't take too lightly!" (End Confessional) The contestants head to the Moat, only to find Sniz once AGAIN dressed up like a Chinese Emperor, and Sniz says: "Welcome to the mystical moat, where floats the most delicate Cherry Blossom flowers, and where a stone pebble can create a ripple that eventually touches every other connected body of water on Earth!" General Barracuda asks: "Care to tell me WHY you're talking like that?" Sniz says: "I was trying to channel Confucious and Buddha! Technically speaking, I should've tried to say it in an Oriental accent, but they're is no WAY I'm going to risk insulting around 2 billion people, give or take!" Spongebob says: "Good call!" Sniz says: "In any case, there's a good reason why I'm dressed like this today! We're going to be dealing with a Chinese related Legend! Olmec, tell us what today's legend is!"

Olmec says: "Today's legend, is the Legend of The Lost Terra Cotta Statue of Emperor Qin (Chin) Shi Huang!" Yakkity asks: "Hey! What was with the parentheses?!" Sniz says: "That's for the benefit of our viewing audience, to know how to actually SAY his first name!" Marlene says: "Now THAT'S what I call 'Anti-Frustration Features'!" And Po gulps in nervousness! (Confessional) Po says: "Oh, MAN!!!! It was already going to be hard ENOUGH as it was, trying to lose in a challenge; but since this is going to be a challenge completely REVOLVING around China where I LIVE, it's going to be practically IMPOSSIBLE for me to lose! I have to wonder WHOSE bright idea it WAS to SCHEDULE this challenge RIGHT now?!" / Johnny Krill says: "Come ON!!!! It's not MY fault! I had to help Sniz schedule these challenges in ADVANCE!!!! I had no way of knowing if Po was STILL going to be here, or that he would WANT to lose! He's still perfectly able to DO so! He's just going to have to try HARDER!" / Marlene says: "It really is AMAZING just how META this show has gotten!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "In any case, one of the long time food staples of the Chinese, especially over 2,000 years ago, was rice! So for today's Moat Crossing challenge, you will each be rowing a Chinese River Boat across the Moat! And each Chinese River Boat contains a full sack of rice! It's your job to make sure the Sack of Rice gets across with you to the other side of the Moat intact! Once you have finished crossing, you will ring your Gong pedestal to indicate that you have finished! Once again, where you finish, will help determine who you get paired up with! And, since rice is often grown in a China Grove, we will play The Doobie Brother's hit song 'China Grove', sung by The Real Breadwinners, to help motivate you in this challenge!" Johnny Krill says: "Uh, that's NOT what the hit song 'China Grove' was originally about!" General Barracuda says: "And I'M surprised you're even smart enough to KNOW that!" Sniz says: "Look, if you don't like it, go on the Internet and COMPLAIN; like all the TROLLS do!" Buhdeuce says: "I HATE trolls! Totally tore down MY show without even really giving it a chance!" Sniz says: "All right, everybody get into your positions! You are competing for a Pendant of Life! On your marks, get set, GO!" / Everybody takes off across the Moat, and while everyone else is focused on rowing, Po keeps getting distracted and actually EATING the (surprisingly) cooked rice in his sack of rice! /

The Real Breadwinners (Sway-Sway) sings: "When the sun comes up on a sleepy little town down around The Yangtze, and the folks are risin' for another day, 'round about their homes. The people of the town are strange, and they're proud of where they came! Well, you're talkin' 'bout China Grove! Oh, China Grove! Well, the preacher and the teacher; man, they're a caution! They are the talk of the town! When the gossip gets to flyin', and they ain't lyin' when the sun goes fallin' down! They say that the father's insane, And dear Mrs. Tigress loves a game! We're talkin' 'bout the China Grove! Oh, China Grove! But every day, there's a new thing comin'; the ways of an Oriental view! The police and their buddies with their Katana swords, you can even hear the music at night! And though it's a part of their history, some people don't seem to care! They just keep on lookin' to the East! Talkin' 'bout the China Grove! Oh, China Grove! Woah! China Grove!" / And the song ends as the challenge ends! Sniz says: "Okay, everybody has finished crossing! I just need to check your sacks of rice to make sure that your placing is legitimate!" Spongebob shows a full sack of rice, Marlene shows a full sack of rice, Buhdeuce shows a full sack of rice, Dudley shows a full sack of rice, Yakkity shows a full sack of rice; Po opens his sack up, and doesn't FIND any rice left! Po says: "Uh, I guess, I ate it!" Johnny looks exasperated, as if even HE can't believe THAT flimsy excuse, and Johnny says: "You GUESS you ate it?! You LITERALLY have rice grains all over your FACE!!!!" And as Po brushes the rice grains off of his face, Sniz says: "Well, in any case, Marlene and Buhdeuce have won a Pendant of Life by finishing in first place! Spongebob and Yakkity are competing together by placing 3rd and 4th! And Dudley will be placed with Po since they finished in 5th and 6th! And Po? I am sorry, but since you DIDN'T finish the challenge with a full sack of rice, I'm AFRAID I'm going to have to hit you with a Penalty Vote! I'm sorry but, rules are rules!" Po says: "Oh! That's...something I can live with!" (Confessional) Dudley says: "Po, doesn't seem to concerned about the news! What is UP with that?!" / Po says: "I wasn't even THINKING about how the Penalty Vote Rule is still in play! I still have a realistic chance to LOSE this!" Than Po winces, and says: "Please...delete THAT comment BEFORE Tigress has a chance to see it!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "We've got to get everybody cleaned up and tidied up! But be sure to come back to see some MORE of Total Cartoon Legends!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here, and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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I'm sorry for the slight delay, but there were a couple of books that I needed to read and get out of the way, so I could feel more focused on completing the second and final half of the episode, "The Legend Of The Lost Terra Cotta Statue of Emperor Qin (Pronounced Chin) Shi Huang!" / The contestants gather at the Steps of Knowledge. Dudley turns to Po, and Dudley says: "Honestly Po, what were you THINKING; eating a sack of rice like that?!" Po says: "Well, it smelled so good! And it was delicious! Besides, do I LOOK like the type of Panda who would let a perfectly cooked meal of food go to waste?!" Yakkity looks at Po, and Yakkity says: "Not from MY perspective, you don't! And I mean that in the NICEST way possible!" Po, confused, says: "Thank you?" (Confessional) Yakkity says: "Mostly, I like my jokes to be based on the TRUTH whenever possible! And honestly, I'm not afraid if it's mostly at my OWN expense! I'm probably more comfortable of making fun of my button-up fur and impossibly skinny frame of my body, than anything else! After all, if you can't OCCASIONALLY laugh at yourself, what CAN you laugh it?!" / Po says: "Eating a sack of rice ISN'T what bothers me at all! What bothers me is, I wonder who in their right mind COOKED my sack of rice in the first place?!" / Johnny Krill sighs, and he says: "Look! I made a simple MISTAKE, all right?! When Sniz told me he needed SIX sacks of rice for the Moat Challenge, I realized that I had already cooked ONE sack of rice, intending it for breakfast! I didn't want to BOTHER Sniz, so I also used the one I already cooked, and I hoped nobody would notice! I should have KNOWN that I could NEVER sneak any COOKED food past Po's nose! And I mean that in the NICEST way possible!" (End Confessional) Spongebob turns to Yakkity, and Spongebob says: "Yakkity, do you think we have a chance to beat Po in the Steps Of Knowledge?" Yakkity says: "I would think we actually have MORE of a chance, because we both WANT it more than Po! Besides, I know that you don't want to actually vote Po OFF, so winning is your best INCENTIVE for making that happen!" Spongebob says: "Good point!"

(Confessional) Yakkity says: "Another thing I've noticed about jokes, is about where you are in relation to where such an event takes place! For example, if you're far enough away from an event; you don't feel such an attachment to it, so it's probably easier for you to make a joke! However, I HIGHLY doubt I could make fun of MOST of the contestants I've met on this show! I'm on friendly terms with WAY too many of them! Maybe there are some OTHER comedians who wouldn't have a problem with that, but I don't think that I am one of them!" / Spongebob says: "Look, I admit that I messed up when it came to Bulma's elimination! I thought she would NEVER vote herself off and keep her word, so I thought I was honestly doing the right thing! But the truth of the matter is, I did what would be called 'The Wrong Thing For the Right Reasons'. I eliminated Bulma on the basis that it's what I SHOULD have done back in season three, if I KNEW everything there was to know about Bulma BEFORE season three occurred! And...it never occurred to me that Bulma had the same capacity to change as I did! I...guess sometimes, even I can act like Squidward has when I don't really MEAN to! But I don't have to let that mistake define who I truly AM! I think I can let that mistake be a reminder, that I always have ROOM for improvement, and strive to be all the better BECAUSE of it!" (End Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "Marlene, what do you think our chances are of winning the Steps Of Knowledge?" Marlene says: "Ordinarily, I WOULD say, 'Pretty good', given that I've actually BEEN to China back in season three! However, I REFUSE to jinx myself and get us BOTH into 'Tempting Fate'! So, we'll just have to deal with this challenge WITHOUT any preconceived notions of winning!" (Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "I guess it's a good thing Marlene decided to team up with me! Without her, I might have muddled up the whole deal with misplaced optimism!" / Marlene says: "Don't get me wrong! A little optimism never hurt ANYBODY! But too much of it could be outright suicidal, when it comes to facing some of the HARSH realities of life! I think it's a good rule of thumb, to prepare for the worst, but ALWAYS hope for the best!" (End Confessional)

Sniz finally arrives in all his Chinese Emperor regalia, and Dudley asks: "Are you going to wear that through the WHOLE episode?!" Sniz says: "Maybe. Is that a CRIME?!" Dudley says: "Of course not! Just wondering!" (Confessional) Dudley says: "Sheesh! Can't even ask a simple QUESTION anymore without rattling someone's nerves! I wonder if this is how Chameleon felt prior to becoming friends with me? I should ask him once I see him again!" / Sniz says: "It took me FOUR hours to get this look! Of COURSE I'm going to parade in it for as long as I can! After all, when ELSE am I going to get a chance to look like this again?! There's not EXACTLY a lot of opportunities for ME to do something like that!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "In any case, it's time to listen to Olmec, as he tells about the Legend of the Lost Terra Cotta Statue of Emperor Qin (Chin) Shi Huang!" Johnny Krill says: "He will START at the beginning! And when he gets to the end, he'll stop! See how that works?!" General Barracuda sarcastically says: "HOW obvious!"

Olmec says: "Shi Huangdi, otherwise known in English as Qin (Chin) Shi Huang, was born on January 21, 259 B.C.E., in the Ancient Chinese State of Zhao, in its capital of Handan. Initially born as Ying Zheng to the King and Queen of the Ancient Chinese State/Kingdom of Qin, Qin Shi Huang ascended to the throne of the kingdom, after the death of his father in 246 B.C.E., at just 13 years of age! Nine years later, Qin Shi Huang gained full power of his Kingdom in 235 B.C.E.! Not content with having just control over his own Kingdom, Qin waged war against the other warring states of Ancient China! Despite only living for 49 years, there were many coup and/or assassination attempts on him during his life! Regardless of the attempts, one by one, the other states of Ancient China fell to Qin's military might! The State of Han in 230 B.C.E., the State of Zhao in 228 B.C.E., the state of Yan in 226 B.C.E., the state of Wei in 225 B.C.E., the state of Chu in 223 B.C.E., and the state of Qi in 221 B.C.E.! Upon uniting all of Ancient China under one rule, Qin (Chin) Shi Huang gave himself a new title; Shi Huangdi! Literally, 'First Emperor'! The rule of Emperors would continue on through future dynasties, up until 1911 A.C.E.! Despite the military campaigns, Emperor Qin did introduce many improvements in Chinese life! First, he completely did aware with Feudalism, and made all future job employments be based on merit, not family lineage! He standardized the Chinese units of measurements, such as weight, currency, and the length of axles for carts! He also developed an extensive road and canal system between his provinces, to improve trade relations between them! More importantly, he standardized the Chinese script of the Chinese people, which is still in use today! But perhaps Emperor Qin's most enduring legacy, is that he commissioned a precursor to The Great Wall of China, to protect it's people from nomadic invaders, although little of the Qin section of the wall remains today! In 215 B.C.E., Emperor Qin ordered an exotic tomb, to be built in the event of his death! 6,000 Terra Cotta Statues, including one of Emperor Qin, were built into the tomb! Emperor Qin died sometime during August of 210 B.C.E., and his Terra Cotta Statue, vanished to the mists of time, until it found it's way to the Temple! Your job is to retrieve the Statue, and bring it back here!"

Sniz says: "Thanks, Olmec! Where can the Lost Terra Cotta Statue of Emperor Qin (Chin) Shi Huang be found?" Olmec says: "The Lost Terra Cotta Statue can be found, in the Snake Maze!" Sniz says: "All right! You all know what to do, you're competing for a Pendant of Life! Olmec, take it away!" Olmec asks: "What was the birth name, of Emperor Qin (Chin) Shi Huang?" Buhdeuce rings in, and Marlene answers: "Ying Zheng!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" Buhdeuce and Marlene move down a step, and he says: "Who KNEW that one guy could have so MANY different names?!" Marlene says: "Try asking Sean 'Puffy' Combs or WHATEVER name he's currently going by that question!" Olmec asks: "When was Emperor Qin (Chin) Shi Huang believed to be born?" Spongebob rings in, and Yakkity answers: "On January 21, 259 B.C.E.!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" Spongebob and Yakkity move down a step! Yakkity says: "I can't BELIEVE they don't know the EXACT date for that!" Spongebob says: "Well, hindsight is always 20/20, as they like to say!" Olmec asks: "Where was Emperor Qin (Chin) Shi Huang born?" Dudley rings in, and answers: "In the Ancient Chinese State of Zhao, in its capital of Handan!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Dudley and Po move down a step! Dudley says: "Come on! Partnered with YOU, we should ALREADY be at the bottom of the Steps by now!" Po says: "Come on! You know how STRONG I am! I just don't want to take the chance of accidentally BREAKING a buzzer, and racking up penalty votes!" Johnny Krill says: "Technically speaking, he's NOT wrong! Destruction of Studio Property on these premises WOULD result in a penalty vote!" Dudley groans, and says: "FINE! I'll answer the questions myself!" And Po actually SWEATS nervously! Olmec asks: "When did Qin (Chin) Shi Huang ascend to the throne of the Kingdom of Qin?" Buhdeuce rings in, and Marlene answers: "In 246 B.C.E., at 13 years of age!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Marlene and Buhdeuce move down a step! Buhdeuce says: "I sure hope HISTORY buffs are getting MORE from Olmec's knowledge than PO is!" Marlene says: "Are you kidding?! Most of the history BEHIND these legends practically made up the bulk of MY Elementary School history education!"

Olmec asks: "When did Qin (Chin) Shi Huang fully gain control of his Kingdom?" Spongebob rings in, and Yakkity answers: "In 235 B.C.E.!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Spongebob and Yakkity move down a step! Spongebob says: "I'm SURPRISED that you're GOOD at this!" Yakkity says: "Well, to be fair, yaks WERE originally native to Asia!" Olmec asks: "True or False, there were many assassination attempts on Qin (Chin) Shi Huang's life?" Dudley rings in and says: "True!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Dudley and Po move down a step! Dudley asks: "You're REALLY going to make ME do ALL the work?!" Po says: "Come ON! When you say it like that, you sound as though you're trying to make me a BAD guy!" Dudley says: "Than prove that you're NOT, and actually DO something!" Than Po feels a RUMBLE in his tummy and Po says: "Uh-oh! I gotta DO something pretty quick!" Dudley says: "Po, you are NOT leaving until we finish this challenge! Can't you HOLD it?!" Po nervously says: "Well, not for LONG!!!!" Dudley groans, and he says: "Fine, make it QUICK!!!!" Po says: "Thank you!" And Po HURRIES to the restroom, and Sniz says: "HEY!!!! You can't LEAVE during the middle of a challenge; that counts as a PENALTY vote!" Johnny sighs, and he says: "It's all that STUPID rice he ate earlier! That Panda needs to learn some self-control for his eating habits! Even Bubble Bass did SOME of that!" Sniz says: "Well, we got to finish this! Next correct answer is for a Pendant of Life!" Olmec says: "When was China finally united under Qin Shi Huang's rule?" Spongebob rings in and answers: "221 B.C.E.!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Spongebob and Yakkity move to the bottom of the Steps! Sniz says: "Spongebob and Yakkity made it down the Steps of Knowledge! They get a Pendant of Life!" Yakkity says: "Awesome! I KNEW acing all of those history lessons would ONE day pay off!" Spongebob says: "Don't count your eggs JUST yet, Yakkity! We've got to win the Challenge Arena BEFORE we can even THINK about celebrating!" Yakkity says: "Good call!" Po runs back in, and he says: "What did I miss?!" Dudley face-palms himself, and he says: "Helping me WIN!!!! If YOU had helped, we'd be sitting pretty in the Elimination Ceremony, COMPLAINING about having nothing to do!" Po says: "Well, I CAN'T control when my body NEEDS to go to the restroom! I mean, when you got to, you GOT to!"

Dudley groans, and he says: "You are SO lucky that I am NOT able to argue with THAT!" (Confessional) Dudley says: "You would THINK that as SMART as we are, we would've figured out a way to evolve BEYOND needing to go to the bathroom by now!" / Po says: "To my knowledge, the only one I know of who has COMPLETE control over HER body, is Tigress! And even I don't know HOW she does it!" / Johnny shakes his head, and he says: "It's kind of sad to know that Bubble Bass has MORE self-control than Po does, however LITTLE it might be!" / Yakkity says: "My grandma always told me that learning history would pay off SOME day! It's certainly starting to, now!" / Spongebob says: "I've competed on this show long enough to know that you don't celebrate a victory, until AFTER you've actually won it! I'm not jinxing ANYTHING this time!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Okay, it's time to move on to the Challenge Arena! From as early as the Seventh Century B.C.E. to 1644 A.C.E., various Dynasties under various rulers, built what would become the Great Wall of China! Collectively, the Wall stretches for a total distance of 13,170.7 miles in length! Luckily, your task won't be quite as hard! Each group will work together, to build a scaled down replica of the Great Wall of China! You all have up to 13,170 bricks, one for each FULL mile of the wall, to work with! Your job is to build a wall of up to 1.317 miles in length! And NO, the wall CAN'T be just one brick high; the wall has to be at least five bricks high in order to count as a wall! So, whichever group builds the most complete scaled-down replica of the Great Wall of China, will receive a Pendant of Life! If it's Dudley and Po, we WILL have to resort to a tie-breaker question! Hopefully, it won't have to come to that! And, whoever gets to go to the Temple AND complete the Temple Run, will receive a reward! While we don't have the budget or the resources to send you to China, we went with the NEXT best thing! Johnny, tell them what it is!" Johnny Krill says: "You'll be going to a place that inspired a 1971 movie, as well as a line that we can't repeat or else we'd LOSE our PG rating! It's China Town, located in scenic downtown, Los Angeles! China Town, it's not just for Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway anymore!"

Buhdeuce nervously asks: "Marlene, they wouldn't try to eat a DUCK in the China Town of Los Angeles, would they?" Marlene says: "I couldn't honestly say. But either way, I'd protect YOU from getting eaten!" Buhdeuce says: "Thank you, I feel SO much better!" (Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "Listen! Potentially getting eaten by monsters on Pondgea is ONE thing! Getting eaten by potentially amoral humans? TOTALLY different ball park!" / Marlene says: "One thing's for sure; if anybody TRIED to eat me, Skipper would be on them SO fast, it might LITERALLY make their heads spin!" (End Confessional) Yakkity excitedly says: "Ooh, China Town! My Grandma often likes to shop and eat there! Do you think we can win it, Spongebob?! It would be SO great to get to see HER again!" Spongebob says: "Of course! You don't even really HAVE to ask! I would be honored to help you win the reward!" (Confessional) Yakkity says: "Hopefully, Gordon Quid WON'T be running whichever restaurant we end up going to!" / Spongebob says: "While the reward is a nice incentive, I would help Yakkity even WITHOUT the promise of a reward; mostly because I consider him a good friend!" (End Confessional) Po scoffs, and he says: "That reward is probably over-rated anyways! You can't beat REAL Chinese food cuisine!" Dudley says: "I could care LESS about the authenticity of the menus! A reward is a reward! And IF the reward doesn't seem up to par, I'm SURE we can get a cash equivalent instead so we can go on our OWN trip later!" Po says: "Yes, you ARE correct on THAT account!" (Confessional) Po says: "Lucky for me, I was born a NOODLE Maker, NOT a brick layer! Building is NOT one of my strength's!" / Dudley sighs, and he says: "What's the POINT of BEING with the Dragon Warrior if he DOESN'T use the full extent of his abilities?! I bet TIGRESS never has THIS type of trouble!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Everybody get into positions, and to inspire you; we'll play Paul Simon's hit song, 'Something So Right'. If you're wondering why, you'll find out soon enough! Let's put three minutes on the clock! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" /

While everybody else manages to lay their bricks just fine, Po keeps accidentally BREAKING the bricks with his immense strength, making Dudley's wall be FAR shorter than it SHOULD be! / Paul Simon sings: "You've got the cool water, when the fever runs high. You've got the look of love light in your eyes. And I was in a crazy motion, til you calmed me down. It took a little time, but you calmed me down. When something goes wrong, I'm the first to admit it. I'm the first to admit it, but the last one to know. When something goes right, well it's likely to lose me. It's apt to confuse me, because it's such an unusual sight. I can't get used to something so right. Something so right. They've got a wall in China, it's a thousand miles long. To keep out the foreigners, they made it strong. And I've got a wall around me, that you can't even see. It took a little time, to get next to me. When something goes wrong, I'm the first to admit it. I'm the first to admit it, but the last one to know. When something goes right, well it's likely to lose me. It's apt to confuse me, because it's such an unusual sight. I can't get used to something so right. Something so right. Some people never say the words, 'I love you', it's not their style to be so bold. Some people never say those words, 'I love you'. But like a child, they're longing to be told. When something goes wrong, I'm the first to admit it. I'm the first to admit it, but the last one to know. When something goes right, well it's likely to lose me. It's apt to confuse me, because it's such an unusual sight. I can't get used to something so right. Something so right." / And the song ends as the challenge ends! Sniz says: "Okay! The challenge is over, it's time to reveal how much of a wall each group built! Marlene and Buhdeuce built a wall that's .656 miles in length! Spongebob and Yakkity built a wall that's .971 miles in length! And SOMEHOW, Dudley and Po ONLY built a wall that's .439 miles in length!" Dudley groans, and says: "Blame SUPER Strength Po! He kept BREAKING most of the bricks!" Po says: "It's not MY fault they don't make bricks the way they USED to!" Sniz says: "Well, for breaking challenge material; even IF it was accidental, results in ANOTHER penalty vote! And, it looks like Spongebob and Yakkity built the most complete wall, so they're going to the Temple! Everyone else's fates will be decided once they've finished their Temple Run! Now, it's time to decide who gets to go first!"

Yakkity says: "I'll go first!" Sniz says: "In that case, Spongebob will go second! Now, Map will detail how to get through the Temple as Olmec tells us about what's inside of him THIS time!" Map says: "I'm on it!" / And Map's visual information fills in, as Olmec tells about the contents of the Temple! Olmec says: "First, you will start by entering the Mummy's Crypt! Pull on the right tablet, but beware of the Temple Guard! Next, go on the Ledge, and knock over the Column, which will allow you to enter the Observatory! Spin the Sundial, than head into the Secret Chamber! Push on the right statue head, than head into the Hall of Armor! Place yourself into the correct suit of armor, than head into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey! Assemble the Monkey in the correct order, and head into the Emperor's Chamber! Smash the Clay Pots to find the key, and slide down into the Mountain Crevasse! Smash the Stone Wall, and find yourself in the Snake Maze, where you can grab the Lost Terra Cotta Statue of Emperor Qin (Chin) Shi Huang! Make your way through the Maze, than head into the Room of Paintings! Place yourself against the right painting, than head into the Room of Panels! Match the panels of each side of the ladder, than head back through the Pit! Climb through the Cave of Sighs, and back to the Temple Entrance! The choices are yours, and yours alone! Good luck!" Sniz says: "Okay! This is for a reward and IMMUNITY! Yakkity, get into your position! Olmec, lower the gate!" And Olmec groans as he lowers his steel gate! Sniz says: "Let's put three minutes on the clock! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" /

And as Yakkity takes off, Sniz narrates the action as he goes along! / Sniz says: "Yakkity is in the Mummy's Crypt, and a Temple Guard, right off the bat! He gives up his pendant, and he's on the Ledge!" And Yakkity makes a burp SO loud, he causes the column to FALL down with just his sound! Sniz says: "Unusual, but we'll allow it! Saves some time! Up to the Observatory! He's got to spin the Sundial, and he's done it! Down into the Secret Chamber! He's got to find the right statue! Found a shortcut to the Ledge, and he's found it! Into the Hall of Armor! Got to put on the right suit of armor! Another Temple Guard! Go, Spongebob, go! Through the Mummy's Crypt! Across the Ledge! Through the short-cut that Yakkity found into the Secret Chamber! Now Spongebob's in the Hall of Armor! And he's found the right suit! Into the Shrine of The Silver Monkey! It's Johnny Krill as a Temple Guard! Spongebob gives up his Pendant, and now he's got to assemble the Monkey! He's got the base, he's got the stomach, and he has the head! It connects! Into the Emperor's Chamber! He's got to smash the clay pots to find the key, and he's found it! Down he slides into the Mountain Crevasse! He's got to break through the Stone Wall, and he's done it! He's in the Snake Maze! He's making his way, and he's got the Terra Cotta Statue! All the doors are open! He's making it through the Room of Paintings, through the Room of Panels, back through the Pit! Now, he's got to climb through the Cave of Sighs, and Spongebob has made it, with 24 seconds to spare! Spongebob and Yakkity win the reward to China Town in Los Angeles, and Immunity! They will get to go on their trip, as soon as we find out who will be eliminated tonight!" (Confessional) Yakkity says: "I always knew I could count on Spongebob in a pinch! That guy can really come through for you when it matters the most!" / Spongebob says: "Mostly, I feel good knowing that Po's elimination won't be MY fault at all! Honestly, he kind of brought it on himself; however intentional or UNINTENTIONAL it was!" (End Confessional) It is night-time, and everyone is at the Elimination Ceremony.

Sniz has finally changed out of his Chinese Emperor regalia! Sniz says: "Comfortable, it might have been! But MAN! There is just no AIR flow in those ancient clothes! Anyways, you know why you're here! You are the Final Six, but soon you will be the Final Five! You will cast your votes! Po, you already HAVE three penalty votes, so you will need at LEAST three other contestants AND you to not vote for you in order to be safe! Whichever contestant has the most votes, will be eliminated from the contest! And they cannot return, EVER! With that being said, VOTE!!!!" And the contestants quickly make their choices! Sniz says: "Voting is over, it's time to reveal who is safe! Spongebob, Marlene, Buhdeuce, Yakkity!" And it comes down to Dudley and Po, who are the only two contestants left! Sniz says: "Only one chocolate Pendant of Life left! And since he has the magical gift to actually ENJOY it, the chocolate Pendant goes to...Dudley!" And Po actually breathes a sigh of relief! Dudley asks: "Are you...actually HAPPY that you're eliminated?!" Po says: "Honestly? Yes! You might not know, but it takes real SKILL for me to hold back the FULL extent of my strength! I'll actually be HAPPY to not hold back so much, now that I'm out of the competition, and everything!" Marlene says: "I'd be more worried about how you're going to explain THIS to Tigress! I don't think she's going to be all too happy, if your elimination LAST time was any indication!" Po groans, and he says: "Well, I'll deal with it with the time comes, and take all the blame that inevitably comes MY way!" Buhdeuce says: "Thank you, I feel SO much better!" Spongebob says: "And if it's any consolation, we WILL see you at the Finale in not too long!" Yakkity says: "So, at least you have THAT to look forward to!" General Barracuda asks: "Just one question; HOW are we supposed to MOVE Po on the Mine Cart of Shame?! He WEIGHS like 800 POUNDS!!!!" Po groans, and he says: "How many times does it have to be SAID?! I only weigh 776 pounds, and most of it is muscle, anyways!" General Barracuda says: "Still too much for the Mine Cart of Shame!" Johnny Krill says: "Not if you use the Afterburners! If they can power a Saturn V Rocket to the Moon, it can DEFINITELY move a panda!" Sniz says: "Than it will be YOUR job to make the 'Launch' go smoothly!" Po puts on his helmet, and straps himself into the Mine Cart of Shame!

Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Than 3, 2, 1, BLAST-OFF!!!!" And the Mine Cart fires up, only to SPUTTER and stop only a few inches after moving! Johnny Krill groans and says: "Come on! AGAIN?!!! I thought I fixed that issue the LAST time!!!!" And Johnny goes to check the afterburners from the back, only for the camera to pan over to General Barracuda, who's standing by a SUSPICIOUSLY removed power cord! He plugs it back in, and says: "OOPS!!!!" (BOOM!!!!) And the afterburners kick back in and burn OFF all of Johnny Krill's clothes AGAIN, leaving him a charred mess as Po rockets down the Mine Cart Rails, and through the Mine Shaft of Losers! Johnny Krill groans, and says: "Was THAT take-off REALLY necessary?! I really lose MORE clothes that way!" General Barracuda says: "Don't hate the player, hate the game!" Sniz says: "And speaking of game, our game is really winding down, now! We are down to the Final Five! Spongebob, Marlene, Buhdeuce, Dudley, and Yakkity! Anyone of them have the potential to become the ultimate legend of this season, but only ONE will get to win up to $44.44 million! We will be one step closer to finding out the answer, on the next episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "And remember, the journey of 1,000 miles, begins with a single step!" /

Stinger: Spongebob and Yakkity are enjoying their reward at a Chinese, China Town Restaurant Buffet, and they are joined by Yakkity's Grandma! Yakkity joyfully hugs her, and he says: "Grandma, you CAME!!!!" Yakkity's Grandma says: "Of course I did! I couldn't resist getting the chance to see my BOUBALA come here on a reward trip, so close to the Final Three!" Spongebob asks: "Boubala?" Yakkity says: "It's a term of endearment from her HOME country, so she says!" Yakkity's Grandma says: "And I understand you've made some GREAT friends like...Sponge Boy!" Spongebob says: "It's Spongebob; still a common mistake for SOME people! But yes, I do intend to help Yakkity as best as I can!" Gordon Quid comes in, and he says: "And I'll be excited to see how you do!" Yakkity groans, and he says: "PLEASE tell me you don't RUN this restaurant!" Gordon says: "Relax! For once, I'm not working! I'm OFF the job, and I'm GOING to enjoy a fine meal! I wonder what MY Fortune Cookie has in store for me today?!" Gordon opens up his Fortune Cookie, and he reads it out loud, and says: "Your car will be crushed by a random Mine Cart?" (CRASH!!!!) Spongebob groans, and he says: "That BETTER not be what I think it is!" And Spongebob, Yakkity, Yakkity's Grandma, and Gordon all run out ONLY to find that Gordon's Limo has been CRUSHED by the Mine Cart that Po has been riding in! Gordon groans, and he yells: "COME ON!!!! I didn't even OWN the restaurant THIS time!" Po says: "Cut me some SLACK! At least I didn't actually BREAK something of a restaurant that you OWNED! I THINK that's making progress!" Yakkity says: "Gordon, you have my word that if I win SOME amount of prize money, I will use it to reimburse you, so you can get a brand new limo!" Gordon says: "Thank you, I feel SO much better!" Spongebob says: "MAN! Those Chinese Fortunes these days are starting to get WAY too accurate for their own good!" Yakkity's Grandma says: "You said it, Spongebob!" /

Episode Notes: First time since the "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" episode "China, Girl!", that Sniz has appeared in his Chinese Emperor regalia! Featured songs in this episode include Billy Joel's "The Great Wall Of China", The Doobie Brother's "China Grove" as sung by The Real Breadwinners, and Paul Simon's "Something So Right". Po is eliminated by Penalty Votes in this episode. Eliminated Contestants: 46. Kowalski. 45. Private. 44. Kaput. 43. Johnny Krill. 42. Haggis McHaggis. 41. Monster Krumholtz. 40. Aang. 39. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 38. Darwin. 37. Heffer Wolfe. 36. Judy Funny. 35. Sway-Sway. 34. Invader Zim. 33. Gonard. 32. Blonda. 31. Squidward Tentacles. 30. Dora the Explorer. 29. Tigress. 28. Otto Rocket. 27. Dog. 26. Zarbon. 25. Super Chum. 24. Kitty Katswell. 23. Jenny Wakeman. 22. Treeflower Fields. 21. Gerald. 20. Fee. 19. Harvey Beaks. 18. Daggett Beaver. 17. Pearl Krabs Barracuda. 16. Bulma Briefs. 15. Keswick. 14. Taotie. 13. Stimpy J. Cat. 12. Sandy Cheeks. 11. Larry The Lobster. 10. Wally. 9. Future Adult Rube Goldfish. 8. Chameleon. 7. Bubble Bass. 6. Po. Remaining Contestants: Spongebob Squarepants ("Spongebob Squarepants"). Marlene Otter ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"). Buhdeuce ("Breadwinners"). Dudley Puppy ("T.U.F.F. Puppy"). Yakkity Yak, ("Yakkity Yak"). / Personal Notes: For some reason, Po does NOT seem to work very well without someone CLOSE to him to bounce off of! While in seasons 3 and 4A, he worked well with Tigress due to the both of them getting eliminated rather close together. But since Po's role this season involved him lasting significantly longer than Tigress, Po thankfully had Taotie to bounce off of, to help Taotie on his road to redemption, and becoming a real friend to them! Try as I did, Po didn't really have much going for him once Taotie got eliminated! So, by Po discovering that Yakkity had a legitimate reason for being there, as opposed to Po's goal of avenging Tigress; Po decided that Yakkity's need was greater than Po's, and Po decided to leave the competition, in order to help Yakkity try to achieve his need. I hope you enjoyed reading this episode, as much as I did writing it. Enough said, true believers!

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For this episode, we will be looking back to one of the first real geniuses who was born and lived in America! Find out who it is on today's episode of "Total Cartoon Legends!" / Sniz is looking at some of the previous, uncollected Legends from the half-season, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Legends; we were down to the Final Six! Spongebob and Yakkity both realized, their best chance for making it to the Final Four, was to make an alliance together! I never saw THAT coming! Meanwhile, because Po previously discovered that Yakkity was competing in order to make Yakkity's Grandma proud of him, was a far more noble goal than what Po was trying to accomplish; Po decided to sabotage his own performance during the challenge, by racking up penalty votes for himself! Interesting strategy, Po! In the end, Spongebob and Yakkity won Immunity and Reward! Po, with his Penalty Votes, ended up being the one to be eliminated! Now, we are down to the Final Five! Dudley, Marlene, Yakkity, Spongebob, and Buhdeuce! They have made it past 41 other contestants, but only FOUR of them will get to go to the Final Four! See how that works? In any ways, prepare yourselves; for a TRULY electrifying episode experience, of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "And remember; Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise!" / Instead of the normal show open, it shows the remaining contestants in a montage of their moments from their own show, and on the "Total Cartoon" show, performing antics requiring a lot of energy, and often lightning during their antics; all to the tune of the Information Society's hit song, "What's On Your Mind (Pure Energy)". /

The Information Society sings: "It's worked so far, but we're not out yet. I wanna know what you're thinking! There are some things you can't hide! I wanna know what you're feeling! Tell me what's on your mind! Pure energy! Pure energy! Here I am in silence, looking 'round without a clue. I find myself alone again. All alone with you! I can see behind your eyes, the things that I don't know. If you hide away from me, how can our love grow? I wanna know what you're thinking! There are some things you can't hide! I wanna know what you're feeling! Tell me what's on your mind! I know I could break you down, but what good would it do? I could surely never know, that what you say is true! Here I am in silence, it's a game I have to play. You and I in silence, with nothing else to say! I wanna know what you're thinking! There are some things you can't hide! I wanna know what you're feeling! Tell me what's on your mind! (Instrumental Break) Pure energy! Pure energy! Destruction, Pure energy! Destruction, Pure energy! Destruction, Pure energy! Destruction, Pure energy! I wanna know what you're thinking! There are some things you can't hide! I wanna know what you're feeling! Tell me what's on your mind! I wanna know what you're thinking! There are some things you can't hide! I wanna know what you're feeling! Tell me what's on your mind!" / And the song and montage ends! / "The Legend Of The Lost Key of Benjamin Franklin!" / It is night-time, and Spongebob and Yakkity have returned from their vacation reward, into their hotel room. Yakkity says: "I'm so GLAD that my Grandma approves of you as a friend!" Spongebob says: "I'm happy that she THINKS of me as your friend! And...I'm sorry that I had to hear her CALLING you her 'BOUBALA'!" Yakkity says: "Oh, don't worry about it! I'm not the kind of guy who's ASHAMED of displays of affection like SOME people are! I actually wish more people were more accepting of WANTING affection! There's nothing wrong with being love and accepting love, as long as that love is healthy, and reciprocated by all parties involved!"

Spongebob says: "I know how THAT feels! It took me a LONG time to realize how not EVERYONE is going to like you or me, the way you and I WANT them to! In fact, it's pretty FOOLISH to think it ever WILL happen! People are going to think the way they WANT to think! And as long as their points of view don't HURT anyone else physically, mentally, or emotionally; it's perfectly FINE for them to think the way they want! I'm just glad that you have such a good relationship with your Grandma! It's not something that everyone is able to have!" Yakkity says: "Yeah, and I know there probably WILL come a day when my Grandma...won't be around anymore! That's why I came onto this show NOW, so I could make her proud of me while she IS around!" Spongebob says: "Truthfully, I think you already have; just by being the kind, caring, nice yak that you are, that you always have been, and probably always WILL be!" Yakkity feels a WARM feeling inside of him, and Yakkity says: "Spongebob, you definitely HAVE come quite a ways from needing EVERYBODY to love you, to realizing that it's more important to love those who APPRECIATE and reciprocate YOUR love back to you! And I just want you to know, I appreciate the genuine kindness that you have displayed to me! And I plan to always appreciate your kindness, by displaying it to others!" Spongebob says: "I think that might be one of the BEST things we can do for the world! Be KIND to others, INSPIRE others with your kindness! And even if it DOESN'T affect EVERYONE, those who ARE affected by it, will SHARE the kindness with potentially EVERYONE they know!" Yakkity sighs in contentment, and he says: "Yeah, that WOULD be a pretty great thing to do, and I WILL do as often as I can!" (Confessional) Yakkity is sweating, and he says: "Spongebob DEFINITELY makes a guy feel appreciated, even for things that he once saw as mundane! PHEW!!!! I don't know why, but I feel all SWEATY! It's probably my button-up fur!" He ducks out of the camera frame, and he gasps: "My ADULT FUR! It came in! It FINALLY came in!" Yakkity comes back INTO frame, only now his fur no longer has buttons on it! Yakkity sighs, and he says: "All these years, all I had to remember of my father, was the fur pelt he left behind! My Grandma made it into a sweater for me, until the day my adult fur FINALLY grew in! I guess, all this emotional and mental growth that I've experienced, FINALLY made my adult fur grow in! At long last, I'm a REAL yak!"

Yakkity looks at his old button-up fur, and he says: "No sense letting it go to waste, I think I'll keep it. It MIGHT come in handy someday!" / Spongebob says: "I believe Yakkity has ALWAYS had the potential to become a legend! I guess he just needed the confidence of someone like ME, to help him realize that potential was always inside of him! Yes, approval from others is always nice; but when all is said and done, you ultimately need to believe in YOURSELF, if you want to make your dreams come true!" (End Confessional) It is early morning, and Marlene and Buhdeuce are in the hotel lobby, discussing their next move! Buhdeuce excitedly says: "Can you believe it, Marlene?! We're almost at the Finish Line!" Marlene says: "Trust me! I've been anticipating this moment for quite a while now! However, this is the EXACT moment where we CANNOT let our guard down! After all, Kowalski; Gonard; Tigress; Otto; Zarbon; Jenny; Bulma; Po; Spongebob; and even I have tripped by being TOTALLY overconfident of our OWN skills before blowing it where it mattered the most!" Buhdeuce says: "And that's why it's a good thing that I'm teamed up with YOU; because you have personal experience of HAVING gone through such a thing before hand! Me? Not so much!" Marlene says: "Give yourself SOME credit! You've done a LOT better THIS season than you did in season three! That ALONE is a testament to how much you've GROWN as an individual! The end IS in sight! And that's why it's more important than EVER, to keep your mind focused, and follow through!" Buhdeuce says: "Keep my mind focused, and follow through! THAT Marlene, I can DEFINITELY do!" (Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "I feel as though I've been waiting for the LONGEST time, to prove to everyone else that I'm MORE than just a pudgy duck with a love for bread and hanging with his best bro, Sway-Sway! Despite all my skills, I NEVER felt as though I got to express ALL of my skills to the best of my ability on my own show! And now, I finally feel as though I'm FINALLY breaking through the stigma of my own show! I feel almost FREE of my OLD image! It's getting to the Final Three, that will make me feel as though I've completely SHATTERED the old image that no longer suits my needs!" /

Marlene says: "Initially, partnering with Buhdeuce WAS kind of a convenience for me! But now that I've actually SPENT some time with him and got to know him, he really IS a whole lot better than the show he WAS on, portrayed him as! In a way, he's kind of like MY 'Spear Counterpart', in that he's actually BEEN that skilled and capable all along, but never got the chance to properly express it! The hard part is, knowing that I'll eventually have to compete against him in the Final Three if it comes to that! But...I guess I'll cross THAT bridge if/and when I come to it, and NOT before!" (End Confessional) It is breakfast time, and the contestants are eating their breakfast! Dudley turns to Johnny Krill, and Dudley asks: "Johnny, do you have ANY idea how all the other contestants managed to get themselves into an alliance that DIDN'T involve ME?!" Johnny asks: "How would I honestly know? I didn't even last long enough as a contestant this season to even really GET into an Alliance!" Dudley says: "Well, I thought that perhaps, you could give me an HONEST outside out-look of the situation!" Johnny says: "Honestly, even if I did HAVE that kind of knowledge; I'm not allowed to share it with you. After all, as long as I'm employed by Sniz; I'm really NOT allowed to share knowledge that would give you an unfair advantage! Although, it's DEFINITELY a case of 'I Would Say It If I COULD Say It'!" Dudley says: "And I'm even surprised that you know the proper context of THAT writing technique!" (Confessional) Johnny groans, and he says: "Why is it, that whenever I HAPPEN to know something, it always comes as a gigantic SURPRISE to everyone?! A little funny the FIRST time, but the joke's REALLY old now!" / Dudley says: "I guess this is probably how Chameleon felt when HE had to go into the Final Five! I mean, I did get to support him; even if it didn't last long, but he STILL needed to get there on his own! But I didn't sign up with T.U.F.F. just to give up NOW! I will play until I can't play anymore! That is the creed, of a TRUE contender!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda comes in with the Gong, and BANGS it as loud as he can! Marlene sarcastically asks: "Could you bang that a little LOUDER? I think there were like two people in CHINA who couldn't HEAR you!" General Barracuda chuckles, and he says: "Don't tempt me! In any case, I came here to announce that Po WAS eliminated at the last Elimination Ceremony, in CASE you thought that was JUST a dream!" Yakkity says: "Trust me, we DIDN'T!"

General Barracuda says: "Be that as it may, Sniz has declared that breakfast time is over, and your presence is required at the Moat, INCLUDING Johnny Krill's! That is all!" Johnny asks: "Why would MY presence be needed?" Spongebob says: "The same reason YOUR presence was needed in the episode, 'Extreme Spots'; would be MY best guess!" Johnny says: "I sure hope so! I could DEFINITELY use a major boost in my popularity!" (Confessional) Yakkity says: "Don't get me wrong! I definitely LIKE being a nice guy, but even a yak like me CAN have his limits, when it comes to General Barracuda's loud GONG banging!" / Marlene says: "Honestly? The only thing I can think of that's LOUDER than General Barracuda's loud Gong banging, is the sound of an F-18 jet fighter flying WAY too close to your home! Not a pleasant sound, I might add!" / Spongebob says: "If I'm being honest, my show is WAY over-due for another actual appearance by Johnny Krill!" / Johnny Krill says: "Now that there are just five contestants, this is the PERFECT opportunity for me to break out of just being an extreme athlete, and showcase my more INTELLIGENT side!" And Cosmo can be heard loudly LAUGHING off-screen! Johnny sternly says: "Don't laugh! I KNOW I would be able to beat you in ANY trivia challenge that YOU would participate in!" And Cosmo QUICKLY stops laughing! Johnny nods his head, and he says: "That's what I thought!" (End Confessional) The contestants head out to Moat, only to find conditions a little more STORMY than usual! As "Ride Of The Valkyries" plays in the background, Cosmo is seen holding a kite that HAS a metal key on it, while Sniz is blowing Industrial Air Machines, and has some automatic sprinklers turned on! Sniz yells: "This is PERFECT! Just one more step, and our experiment will be complete! Wanda, produce the LIGHTNING!!!!" Wanda actually SMILES, and she says: "I've wanted to do this FOREVER!!!!" Cosmo nervously says: "WAIT! Let's discuss this RATION--!!!!" But Cosmo never gets to finish his thought, as Wanda ZAPS the key with lightning, and it travels down and JOLTS Cosmo with 2,000 Watts or 200 Volts of Electricity, and Cosmo is BLOWN backwards, as he gets covered in charred soot! Sniz turns off the equipment, and he says: "It works! It REALLY works!"

Buhdeuce asks: "WHAT works; dare I ask?" Sniz says: "I'm glad you did! You see, I decided to re-enact the classic experiment that Benjamin Franklin performed with a kite and a metal key! By proving that lightning is attracted to metal, Benjamin Franklin discovered electricity!" Dudley says: "And I'm guessing that's related to today's legend!" Sniz says: "You guessed right! Olmec, tell us what today's legend is!" Olmec says: "Today's legend, is The Legend Of The Lost Key of Benjamin Franklin!" Spongebob says: "Wow! We're dealing with a REAL genius this time around!" Sniz says: "That's right! Not only did Benjamin Franklin help develop the United States Patent Office, he made quite a few inventions himself! But what ISN'T widely known about Benjamin Franklin, is that he actually helped POPULARIZE the sport of swimming! Therefore, crossing the Moat will actually be straight-forward!" Marlene says: "Except for the CATCH that follows!" Sniz groans, and he says: "Oh, why must you ALWAYS assume that we have a CATCH for these things?!" Marlene says: "Because you usually DO, that's WHY!" Johnny says: "To be fair, she's not really WRONG!!!!" Sniz sighs, as he is CLEARLY trying to keep his composure, and he just says: "Johnny, DON'T make me fire you! Look, ordinarily, we WOULD have a catch; except coming UP with a catch for the Moat Crossing Challenge for 26 episodes is HARD! And besides, we DON'T have unlimited resources, you know! I mean, TECHNICALLY; with Fairy Godparents we COULD, but that's not the point! The point is, we decided to give you a BREAK for getting to the Final Five! It might be the LAST one you get, barring the next Performance Review!" Buhdeuce says: "FINALLY! A REAL Moat crossing challenge!" General Barracuda shouts: "IGNORE HIM!" Sniz says: "Noted, moving on! In any case, you will cross the moat using nothing more than your own swimming skills; and be grouped into pairs depending on where you finish. And the reason why Johnny Krill is here, is because he will be paired with whoever finishes last!" Johnny says: "Which STILL makes me more relevant than General Barracuda ACTUALLY is!" General Barracuda angrily says: "Why don't you say that CLOSER to my FACE, if you're brave enough?!" Johnny SCOFFS, as if he can't believe General Barracuda honestly thinks that Johnny is THAT stupid, and Johnny says: "I'll PASS, Horatio!"

Yakkity says: "OOH, BURN!!!!" (Confessional) General Barracuda says: "I HATE it when I get BURNED!" / Spongebob says: "Benjamin Franklin might have been one of America's FIRST geniuses, but he's definitely STILL one of the best! It's probably why HE'S on America's $100 bill!" / Marlene says: "It's sad to know Sniz is REALLY unpredictable, when he actually gives us a straight-forward challenge! It doesn't happen as often as I would like it to, if I'm being perfectly honest!" / Johnny scoffs, and he says: "It would serve BOTH Sniz and General Barracuda right if the contestant I get paired up with, WINS this challenge with MY help to assist him!" / Buhdeuce says: "Originality, and tradition. For a show that honors Legends Of The Hidden Temple, they REALLY haven't struck a better balance between the two!" / Dudley says: "Well, this challenge will DEFINITELY separate the winners from the contenders, one way or the other! Time to find out which one I am!" / Yakkity says: "Normally, I'm not a fan of roasting! But against people who genuinely DESERVE it? I can DEFINITELY make an exception!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Contestants, get into your positions! And to help motivate you, we'll play Oingo Boingo's 'Weird Science'!" Johnny says: "Wow! Danny Elfman's old band! We're REALLY attracting big names to this show!" General Barracuda groans, and he says: "Oh, STOP talking like you actually KNOW who Danny Elfman IS!" Johnny angrily says: "Well, I actually DO; so I honestly WON'T!!!!" And General Barracuda actually looks STUNNED in a rare moment of defeat! Marlene says: "Wow! Did Johnny just 'Wow Cthulu'?! He's better than I thought!" Sniz asks: "How ELSE would Johnny be able to get himself DRESSED in the morning?!" And Johnny groans at THAT insult! Sniz says: "In any case, everybody get ready! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" / While Spongebob, Marlene, and Buhdeuce all swim rather well, being aquatic creatures; Dudley swims slower due to only knowing the Doggy paddle, while Yakkity is actually HINDERED by his new adult fur, soaking up so much water! /

Oingo Boingo sings: "It's alive! It's alive! From my heart and from my hand, why don't people understand my intentions? Weird science! Plastic tubes, and pots and pans; bits and pieces and magic from the hand! We're making Weird science! Things I've never seen before, behind bolted doors, talent and imagination! Weird science! Not what teacher said to do; makin' dreams come true! Living tissue; warm flesh! Weird science! Plastic tubes, and pots and pans! Bits and pieces, bits and pieces! Bits of my creation, is it real?! It's my creation, I do not know! No hesitation, no heart of gold! Just flesh and blood, I do not know! From my heart and from my hand, why don't people understand my intentions! Ooh, weird! Weird science! Weird science! Magic and technology! Voodoo dolls and chants! Electricity! We're makin' Weird science! Fantasy and microchips, shooting from the hip! Something different! We're makin' Weird science! Pictures from a magazine! Diagrams and charts, mending broken hearts; and makin' Weird science! Something like a recipe! Bits and pieces! Bits and pieces! Bits of my creation, is it real?! It's my creation, I do not know! From my heart and from my hand, why don't people understand my intentions! Ooh, weird! Weird science! Weird science! Weird science!" / And the song ends as the challenge ends! Sniz says: "Okay! The challenge is over! Marlene and Buhdeuce have once again come in first and second, so they will receive a Pendant of Life! Spongebob and Dudley will be paired together due to coming in 3rd and 4th! And Yakkity, you will be paired with Johnny Krill!" Dudley sighs in relief and says: "Phew! I really dodged a BULLET, there!" Johnny groans and says: "Ouch! Rub it in my FACE, why don't you?!" Spongebob says: "Don't give up YET, Yakkity! I believe in you!" Yakkity says: "I won't! It's not over, til it's over!" (Confessional) Yakkity says: "Everybody ELSE is counting Johnny Krill out, but I won't! Anything IS possible, as long as you BELIEVE it is!" / Johnny actually smiles, and he says: "At least SOMEBODY has some faith in me! So, I am going to deliver my BEST for him!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "We got to take a break, and dry everybody off! But don't go away! Because we'll be right back with some MORE Total Cartoon Legends!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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MAN! It really is weird how time can get away from you when you're distracted by other things. But in any case, here is the second and final part of "The Legend Of The Lost Key of Benjamin Franklin!" / After the commercials end, the contestants gather at the Steps of Knowledge! Johnny Krill looks around, and says: "Okay, I just want to get something out of the way. BESIDES Dudley and General Barracuda, does anyone ELSE here think I'm brain dead stupid?!" Marlene scoffs, and she says: "IMPOSSIBLE! Because to LITERALLY be 'Brain dead stupid', you'd have to be PHYSICALLY dead, FIRST!" Johnny scoffs, and he says: "Thanks for the vote of CONFIDENCE!" Marlene sputters, and she says: "Come on! I'm being SERIOUS! Could ANYONE who WAS stupid make it to the Team Merge during their FIRST time as a contestant?! I HIGHLY doubt it!" Spongebob says: "And just for the record, I've NEVER thought you WERE stupid!" Buhdeuce says: "Is there anyone you DO think of as stupid?" Spongebob says: "It's a rather small list. Master Coelaceanth, who's already DEAD; Invader Zim, and Dora due to the stunt she pulled this season!" Yakkity says: "In other words, the USUAL suspects!" And Johnny Krill plays a rim shot! Dudley says: "And ANOTHER thing; playing a RIM shot after such an OBVIOUS joke?! You would THINK you could come up with something a LITTLE more original than THAT!" Johnny sarcastically says: "Oh, I'm TERRIBLY sorry! And your GREAT original joke is WHERE?!" And Dudley just stares at Johnny in silence! Johnny says: "That's what I thought!" (Confessional) Marlene says: "Technically speaking, there ARE a few people who I personally think of as being as CLOSE to 'Brain Dead Stupid' as humanly possible, but I can't say who they are; otherwise, I'd RISK starting a FLAME war on the Internet!" / Spongebob says: "As far as I'm concerned, anyone who KNOWS as many tricks as Johnny Krill does, has to have at least SOME form of knowledge! It might be considered a 'Crippling Overspecialization', but it's STILL a form of knowledge!" / Buhdeuce says: "So, there are only THREE characters Spongebob thinks of as being stupid. Well, mystery solved!" / Yakkity says: "Wow! I just got my first HECKLER! You usually can't become a great comedian without getting at least ONE of them!" / Dudley groans, and he says: "Oh, WHERE'S Keswick to come up with a snappy retort when you NEED one?!" /

Johnny says: "I'm not sure whether I SHOULD feel flattered that not ALL the contestants think I'm stupid or not! I guess I'll split the difference and do the best I can to help Yakkity win this challenge, if at all possible." (End Confessional) Sniz finally arrives, and he says: "I trust everybody has had enough time to talk!" Buhdeuce says: "Personally, I don't know why you BOTHER to give us time to talk, especially NOW! There's only five of us left! SIX, if you count Johnny Krill!" Sniz says: "Well, for the purposes of this challenge, I do!" Johnny shrugs his shoulders, and he says: "Eh, I'll take what I can get!" General Barracuda says: "Anyways, you all know the purpose of the Steps of Knowledge. Listen to Olmec talk, answer his questions, get the LAST Immunity Pendant of Life by getting to the bottom and blah, the blah, the blah, the blah." Dudley says: "Um, you said 'Blah' FOUR times!" General Barracuda screams: "YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME!!!!" Dudley winces in slight pain as he says: "YOW!!!! I never thought anything BESIDES a Dog Whistle could sound THAT loud!" Marlene sarcastically says: "TRY listening to Skipper bark orders through a megaphone. It's SUPER fun! By the way, I'm being sarcastic!" Yakkity sarcastically jokes: "Really? I COULDN'T tell!" (Confessional) Yakkity says: "I'm just preparing in case I ever have to do a comedy roast of someone! I DO like to have as many options as I can!" / Marlene says: "OOH! It's not EVERYONE who can keep up with MY sarcasm! I am DEFINITELY keeping HIM around for another episode!" / Dudley says: "Seriously? General Barracuda SERIOUSLY didn't get hugged ENOUGH as a child! Bubble Bass' Mom, would you PLEASE hug General Barracuda a little more? Please and thank you in advance!" / General Barracuda says: "All my 'Blahs' are SUPER IMPORTANT!!!! Does NO ONE know how to infer things from the tone of someone's VOICE anymore?!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: In any case, BEFORE General Barracuda causes anyone ELSE to become deaf, let's listen to Olmec talk all about Benjamin Franklin's Lost Key!"

Olmec says: "Born on January 17, 1706 in Boston, Massachusetts, in what was THEN British America, as the fifteenth of seventeen children to his father, Benjamin Franklin would eventually be celebrated as an American polymath! As a child, his family could only afford to send him to school for two years, so most of his education was self-taught by the books he read! At the age of just 12, he began an apprenticeship under his older brother James as a printer! In 1729, Benjamin Franklin became the publisher of a newspaper called The Pennsylvania Gazette, one of America's FIRST newspapers to come from within America itself, and he even established the first newspaper chain in America, from the region of New England, to the Carolina region! Under Benjamin Franklin's tenure, The Pennsylvania Gazette as a means for him to express his own satire and brand of wit; as he created a whole cast of fictitious people that he would use as an alias! In 1733, Benjamin Franklin began to publish the noted Poor Richard's Almanack, under the alias of Richard Saunders, and until 1758, he sold about 10,000 copies per year! In 1736, Benjamin Franklin established one of the first volunteer firefighting companies in America, in the city of Philadelphia; and in the same year, figured out how to make paper money that couldn't be counterfeited as easily, and wouldn't lose it's value as quickly! But it was on June 15, 1752, that Benjamin Franklin conducted his famous electricity experiment! The legend states, that when Benjamin Franklin flew a kite that had a metal key on it during a lightning storm; the metal key attracted the lightning, leading Benjamin Franklin to discover electricity, and the fact that it could produce positive AND negative charges! Eventually, Benjamin Franklin invented the world's first practical Lightning Rod! Benjamin Franklin was also active as a statesman, diplomat, and political philosopher! As a leading intellectual of his time, Benjamin Franklin was one of the Founding Fathers of the United States, as a drafter and signer of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, and the first United States Postmaster General! Benjamin Franklin passed away from Pleuritis at the age of 84, on April 17, 1790. But his metal key was lost to the mists of time, until it found it's way to the Temple! You must retrieve the metal key, and bring it back here!" Sniz says: "Thanks, Olmec! Where can the Lost Key of Benjamin Franklin be found?" Olmec says: "The Lost Key of Benjamin Franklin can be found in the Mad Scientist's Lab!"

Sniz says: "All right! You guys know the drill, I'll let you get right to it! Olmec, take it away!" Olmec asks: "When and where was Benjamin Franklin born?" Spongebob rings in, and Dudley answers: "On January 17, 1706 in British America in Boston, Massachusetts!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Spongebob and Dudley move down a step! Dudley says: "Good job, Spongebob! A couple of more answers like that, and this challenge is in the bag!" Olmec says: "True or False; Benjamin Franklin was the fifteenth of seventeen children by his father?" Yakkity rings in, and Johnny Krill says: "True!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Johnny and Yakkity move down a step! Yakkity says: "SEE?! I DO know something!" Marlene scoffs, and says: "Big DEAL!!!! You had a 50/50 CHANCE of getting THAT one correct! Call me when you make a REALLY impressive answer!" Olmec asks: "In addition to being self-taught, how many years of school education did Benjamin Franklin get?" Buhdeuce rings in, and Marlene says: "Two!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Buhdeuce and Marlene move down a step! Buhdeuce asks: "Does Olmec ALWAYS asks questions in the chronological order of the information he talks about?" Sniz says: "Most of the time, he DOES!" Spongebob says: "Well, mystery solved!" Olmec asks: "At what age, did Benjamin Franklin become an Apprentice Printer, to his older brother James?" Spongebob rings in, and Dudley answers: "At the age of 12!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Spongebob and Dudley move down a step! Yakkity asks: "Is it JUST me, or are THESE questions TOO easy for OUR intellect?" General Barracuda says: "Well, to be FAIR; the contestants on the ORIGINAL Legends of The Hidden Temple were ALL about 10 to 12 years old! Leave it to COSMO to not take YOUR advanced intellect into consideration before this challenge!" Buhdeuce shrugs his shoulders and says: "Fair enough!" Olmec asks: "What newspaper did Benjamin Franklin become publisher of, in 1729?" Yakkity rings in, and Johnny Krill answers: "The Pennsylvania Gazette!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Yakkity and Johnny move down a step!" Marlene gawks in SHOCK and she says: "Okay, NOW I' starting to see his intellect!" General Barracuda sarcastically says: "Oh, SURE! Now that he no longer has to take orders from ME, NOW he finally decides to grow a BRAIN! Why does NOBODY ever respect me when I WANT them to?!" Spongebob says: "Well, I would SAY; but that would involve NOT being nice, and I don't like DOING that!"

General Barracuda says: "I'll give you points for honesty!" Olmec asks: "In what year did Benjamin Franklin begin publishing Poor Richard's Almanack?" Buhdeuce rings in, and Marlene answers: "In 1733!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Buhdeuce and Marlene move down a step! Sniz says: "Okay! This one's for the Immunity Pendant of Life!" Olmec asks: "On what day did Benjamin Franklin conduct his famous kite experiment?" Spongebob rings in and answers: "On June 15, 1752!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Dudley and Spongebob move down to the bottom! Sniz says: "Spongebob and Dudley did it! They get the last Immunity Pendant of the season! Which one of you wants to have it?" Dudley says: "Well, I know Spongebob will ONLY use it so he can nullify the vote he casts for himself, so I'll let him have it! That way, there's one LESS vote for ME!" Spongebob says: "Wow! Thank you, Dudley! That's really nice of you! I definitely have to think of something NICE to do for YOU in return!" Dudley says: "Just promise me you WON'T vote me off, and that will be enough for me!" Spongebob says: "Okay, it's a deal!" (Confessional) Dudley says: "If there's one thing I've learned from watching 'Spongebob Squarepants', NOT being nice to Spongebob tends to give you REALLY bad karma, while the INVERSE; being nice to Spongebob generally gets you GOOD karma, also tends to be true! Even if I don't make it to the Final Four, I'll probably get something REALLY good in exchange! Obviously, I have no idea of what it will be; but that makes it more FUN to guess at what it will end up being!" / Spongebob says: "I definitely owe Dudley a debt of gratitude! After today's challenge, unless I win at least two challenges in the remaining episodes; I won't be able to safely vote for myself! I wish I could safely SAY that Dudley was safe from giving ME the Immunity Pendant, but I highly doubt Marlene and Buhdeuce are going to reward HIM for HIS act of kindness!" / Johnny says: "I actually think it's a little too BAD the contestants only have to answer THREE questions correctly to win a challenge! I was willing to ace a HISTORY exam, if Sniz was willing to give me one!" / Marlene says: "I guess it's a GOOD thing Johnny got eliminated so early! Who KNEW that we could have possibly had to DEAL with a potential GENIUS?! There were ALREADY too many of them on THIS season as it WAS!" /

Buhdeuce says: "Johnny Krill DEFINITELY has potential as a future Breadwinner if nothing else! Just think of how our dynamic possibilities could be improved with a third member in our group!" / Yakkity says: "It definitely goes to show you, that you can't judge a character's I.Q. level, by ONLY the way they look!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Okay! It's time for the Challenge Arena! During the time that Benjamin Franklin published Poor Richard's Almanack, it sold about 10,000 copies per year, for about 25 years, making for about 250,000 copies total! For the Challenge Arena, your job will be to toss up to 250 copies into the basket at the other end of the Arena! One Issue copy will equal up to 1,000 issue copies! Whichever group delivers the most issue copies in three minutes will receive a Pendant of Life! If it's Marlene and Buhdeuce, they'll go on a Temple Run! Otherwise, we'll have to go to a tie-breaker question! And whoever wins the Temple Run, will get to go on a fabulous reward! General Barracuda, tell our contestants what they're competing for!" General Barracuda says: "In honor of Benjamin Franklin's services, for getting a Volunteer Firefighting Company in Philadelphia in 1736; our winner and a guest of their choice will get to go to Philadelphia, see all the historical sights, eat as many Philly Cheese Steak Sandwiches as they want, and ring a replica of the Liberty Bell! Philadelphia! Ask NOT for whom the Liberty Bell tolls, it TOLLS for thee!" Dudley asks: "Who gets PAID to write all of General Barracuda's JOKES anyways?!" Sniz groans, and he says: "NO ONE, Dudley! He writes them ALL himself!" Marlene says: "Well, THAT explains a lot!" Yakkity says: "We ought to try to WIN that reward, Johnny! Do you have a good throwing arm?!" Johnny asks: "Did Benjamin Franklin establish one of the first newspaper chains in America? The answer to both questions is YES; yes, he did!" (Confessional) Yakkity says: "It's too bad HE didn't get a chance to come up with a way to solve the Promethius Torch challenge at the BEGINNING of this half-season! Things could've turned out so DIFFERENTLY for his team!" / Johnny says: "The biggest reason I'm being smart NOW? Now that all the OTHER know-it-all geniuses aren't able to drown out MY voice, I don't need to PRETEND to be so stupid anymore!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "All right! Everybody get into positions! And to help motivate you, we'll be playing The Beatles hit song, 'Paperback Writer'! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" / Unlike previous Challenge Arena's, no one contestant looks any better, or worse than any other! Even General Barracuda is having a HARD time actually keeping TRACK of the issue copies thrown! / The Beatles sing: "Paperback writer! Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book? It took me years to write, will you take a look? It's based on a novel by a man named Lear, and I need a job; so I want to be a paperback writer. Paperback writer! It's the dirty story of a dirty man, and his clinging wife doesn't understand; his son is working for the Daily Mail. It's a steady job, but he wants to be a paperback writer. Paperback writer! Paperback writer! It's a thousand pages, give or take a few. I'll be writing more in a week or two. I can make it longer if you like the style. I can change it round, and I want to be a paperback writer. Paperback writer! If you really like it you can have the rights! It could make a million for you overnight! If you must return it, you can send it here. But I need a break and I want to be a paperback writer. Paperback writer! Paperback writer! Paperback writer, paperback writer! Paperback writer, paperback writer! Paperback writer, paperback writer! Paperback writer, paperback writer!" / And the song ends as the challenge ends! Sniz says: "Okay! The challenge is over! It's time to find out who threw the most copies! Marlene and Buhdeuce threw 1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 182, 192 issue copies! Spongebob and Dudley threw 1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 182, 200 issue copies! Yakkity and Johnny threw 1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 182, 246, 249 issue copies! Yakkity and Johnny receive a Pendant of Life! That means Marlene and Buhdeuce must go up against Yakkity and Johnny to receive the final Pendant of Life in a Tie-Breaker question! General Barracuda, bring out the Gong Pedestal!" And General Barracuda rolls in the Gong Pedestal! Sniz says: "Okay! I'm going to ask you a question, and whoever gets it right, will receive the final Pendant of Life, and get to go on the Temple Run. Here is the question! True or False; Benjamin Franklin was a signer of the United States Declaration of Independence?" Johnny rings in, and he says: "True!"

Sniz says: "That is correct! Ordinarily, I WOULD say that Yakkity and Johnny are going on a Temple Run!...Except for the fact that Johnny is not ACTUALLY a contestant! Johnny has a JOB to do as a Temple Guard! SO; Yakkity will get to choose someone of his choice to run with him!" Yakkity thinks about it, and he says: "I'm going to have to go with Spongebob!" Spongebob says: "Awesome! But why?" Yakkity says: "Well, I think you're the nicest guy BESIDES me still in the challenge! If I want to take anyone on a reward with ME, it's YOU!" Spongebob says: "Thank you, Yakkity!" (Confessional) Spongebob says: "It's probably because I've never voted for him! I mean, I never WOULD if I knew for a FACT that I might not HAVE to! But since I don't, I won't make that promise since I don't know if I can keep it!" / Yakkity says: "Even if being a comedian will probably be my professional job, that doesn't mean that I still can't be nice to people!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Spongebob and Yakkity, will be going on a Temple Run! Everyone's fate will be decided after it is finished! Now, only the contestant who actually COMPLETES the Temple Run with the Legendary Lost Key will receive immunity! That being said, who's running first?" Spongebob says: "I'll run first! I already HAVE the Immunity Pendant of Life, so I don't need to win the Temple Run!" Sniz says: "Very well! Now, pay attention, as Map will reveal how to get through Olmec's Temple today! Take it away, Map!" Map says: "I'm on it, Sniz!" /

And Map's Visual Information fills in, as Olmec tells about how to get through the Temple! / Olmec says: "First, you will board a British Sailing Vessel! Smash open the correct case of tea, and head through the Wind Tunnel Bridge! Pull on the right kite string, and head up into the Lost Library! Pull on the right book, and head down into the Mystery Museum! Push down on the correct statue bust, and head into The Fire Fighter's Room! Ring on the correct bell, and head into the Shrine of The Silver Monkey! Assemble the Monkey in the correct order, and head into The King's Chamber! Smash the Clay Pots of King George III, and slide down into the Abandoned Armory! Use the cannon to blow down the Stone Wall, and head into Murky Swamp! Pull on the right tree branch, and head into the Mad Scientist's Lab, where you can grab the Lost Key of Benjamin Franklin! Spin the wheel, and head into the Spiritual Chamber! Push on the correct buttons, than make your way back through the Pit! Climb through the Vine Caves, and back to the Temple Entrance! The choices are yours, and yours alone! Good luck!" Sniz says: "All right! You two know the drill! So get into positions! Olmec, lower your gate, please!" And Olmec groans as the gate is lowered! Sniz says: "Let's put three minutes on the clock! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" /

And as Spongebob takes off, Sniz narrates the action as he goes along! / Sniz says: "Spongebob boards the British Sailing Vessel, and a Temple Guard, right off the bat! Spongebob gives up his Pendant, now he's got to smash the right case of tea, and he's found it! Through the Wind Tunnel Bridge! He's got to pull on the right kite string, and he's done it! Up into the library! He's got to pull on the right book, and he's found it! Down into the Mystery Museum! Got to find the correct statue bust! Well, he's found a short-cut to the Wind Tunnel Bridge! And he's found the right statue bust! Into The Fire Fighter's Room! Another Temple Guard! Go, Yakkity, go! Onto the British Sailing Vessel, through the Wind Tunnel Bridge, through the short-cut into the Mystery Museum! Now he's in the Fire Fighter's Room! He's got to ring the correct bell! And he's done it! Into the Shrine of The Silver Monkey! It's Johnny Krill as a Temple Guard! Yakkity gives up his Pendant! Now he's got to assemble the Monkey! He's got the base and the stomach together! Now he's got to connect the head! And it connects! Now he's in the King's Chamber! He's got to smash the right clay pot of King George III, and he's found the key! Down he slides into the Abandoned Armory! He's got to use the cannon to blow down the Stone Wall, and he's done it! Into the Murky Swamp! Got to pull on the right tree branch, and he's found it! He's in the Mad Scientist's Lab! He's got the Lost Key, all the doors are open! Through the Spiritual Chamber, back through the Pit! Now he's got to climb up the Vine Caves, and Yakkity has made it out of the Temple with 15 seconds to spare! Yakkity, you get to take a guest of your choice on a reward to Philadelphia, who are you going to take?" Yakkity says: "Like I said, it's got to be Spongebob! At this point, I can't think of anyone better to take!" Sniz says: "All right! Well, first things first! We've got an Elimination Ceremony to attend to, and another contestant to eliminate by the end of tonight!" (Confessional) Spongebob says: "I'm glad that if nothing else, Yakkity gets to go to the Final Four; like he always hoped he would! I know his Grandma is DEFINITELY proud of him, now!" / Yakkity sighs in contentment, and he says: "So, this is what it feels like to become a TRUE legend! I've never felt closer to my dad, than I do right now! I know he'd be as proud of me, as my Grandma is right now!" (End Confessional)

It is night time, and the remaining contestants are at the Elimination Ceremony! Sniz says: "41 other contestants have been eliminated so far! That's an impressive streak for all FIVE of you! However, one of you will be joining the other eliminated contestants, when all is said and done! You all know the drill! Cast your vote for whoever you want! And this WILL be the last challenge you can play an Immunity Pendant, so I suggest that you USE it, Spongebob! And whoever doesn't receive a Chocolate Pendant of Life? They will be eliminated from the contest, and they can NEVER come back, EVER! With that being said, VOTE!!!!" And all of the contestants quickly make their choice, as to who they want to eliminate. Sniz says: "Now, it's time to--." Spongebob says: "Hold it! I AM going to put my Immunity Pendant to good use, so I WILL be playing it on myself, to nullify my own vote for myself!" Yakkity says: "Cool!" Sniz says: "The Immunity Pendant is real, that means all votes cast for Spongebob will NOT count! Now, it's time to reveal who is safe! Obviously, Spongebob and Yakkity! Next, Marlene!" Marlene says: "Yes!" And Buhdeuce and Dudley stare at each other, as they are the only ones left! Sniz says: "Contestants, this IS the Final Chocolate Pendant of Life!" And it just shifts back between Buhdeuce and Dudley staring at each other, as if WONDERING who will blink first! Sniz says: "And it goes to...Buhdeuce!" And Buhdeuce FINALLY blinks as if RELIEVED that he doesn't have to keep staring any longer! General Barracuda says: "Personally, I'd HONESTLY rather have Johnny Krill in the Final Four than BUHDEUCE!" Buhdeuce sarcastically says: "Let me guess, YOU hated MY show, to!" General Barracuda says: "Come ON!!!! 'Hate' is such a STRONG word! I'd say I have an, 'Intense Despising' of that show!" Marlene says: "Well, it hardly matters what YOU think! He's coming to the Final Four with me, whether YOU like it, or not!" General Barracuda says: "Well, I accept it! Doesn't mean I have to LIKE it!" Sniz says: "Just so long as you accept it, that's all that matters to us!" Spongebob sighs, and says: "I'm sorry you have to go, Dudley! I really thought you would get something, for all your trouble!" Dudley says: "Don't worry about it. After all, the day is STILL not over yet! Maybe something will come up!"

Sniz says: "Maybe so, but you STILL have to get geared up and into the Mine Cart of Shame! Your stuff is already in there! And Johnny, PLEASE do stand back from the flames THIS time! Those things are hot enough to weld together ANYTHING, no matter HOW long ago it was broken!" So, Dudley puts on his helmet, and gets strapped into the Mine Cart of Shame. Sniz asks: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Than 3, 2, 1, BLAST-OFF!!!!" And Dudley rockets down the Mine Rails of Shame, and through the Portal in the Mine Shaft of Losers! Sniz says: "And than, there were FOUR!!!! We are FINALLY to the FINAL FOUR! Yakkity Yak, Marlene Otter, Spongebob Squarepants, and Buhdeuce! Four different contestants from four different shows! While they're guaranteed a minimum of $40 million, only one of them will get the grand prize of $44.44 million in cold, hard cash! There's no telling what the quarter-finals will bring, but it will be a thrilling ride! So buckle up, for the next episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "Racing for the gold, AND for the glory!" /

Stinger: Spongebob and Yakkity are at a local Philadelphia restaurant, eating some of the finest Philly Cheese Steak Sandwiches that they have ever eaten! Yakkity says: "This is definitely the GOOD life! Fine food, fine city, a fine trip, and a minimum pay-out of $40 million to look forward to! We are DEFINITELY living what is called the good life!" Spongebob asks: "Don't you feel the LEAST bit guilty eating what you are?" Yakkity says: "Of course not! I KNOW for a fact that this place sources ALL its food from Nearburg and Farburg, courtesy of meat trees grown by Johnny Meatseed!" Spongebob says: "Maybe THAT'S where we get our Krabby Patty Meat from, I've always wondered about that!" Randolph says: "Well, you're right about THAT!" Yakkity asks: "Are YOU the owner of this restaurant?" Randolph says: "Certainly, I am! I've got to make a living for Dog's sake, don't I?" Spongebob says: "PHEW! Than that means, that nothing bad is going to--." (VROOM!!!!) And a Mine Cart enters from a portal, into the restaurant, and exits out the front door! Yakkity asks: "Was THAT who I think it was?!" Spongebob sighs, and says: "I don't know WHY we bother to wonder, anymore!" And they rush outside, and they see Dudley's Mine Cart run RIGHT past the ACTUAL Liberty Bell, and the fire WELDS the crack back together, before Dudley's Mine Cart finally stops! Randolph says: "AMAZING!!!! You've FINALLY repaired the Liberty Bell, and I LOVE it! I'm quite wealthy, so I think I shall give you a reward! How does $30 million sound?" Dudley says: "It sounds AWESOME!!!!" Spongebob says: "WOW, Dudley! Karma really DID pay off for you!" Dudley says: "I think that as long as you're genuine about it, than Karma always DOES pay off in the end!" /

Episode Notes: First time that someone who was partnered up with Johnny Krill, ends up winning the Challenge Arena, and getting to go on a Temple Run! Featured songs in this episode include Information Society's "I Want To Know What You're Thinking (Pure Energy)", Oingo Boingo's "Weird Science", and The Beatles "Paperback Writer". Final challenge of this season to use an Immunity Pendant. Dudley is eliminated in this episode, but the stinger reveals that because his Mine Cart welded the crack in the Liberty Bell, Randolph gives him a $30 million reward! Spongebob, Marlene, Buhdeuce, and Yakkity officially become the Final Four! Eliminated Contestants: 46. Kowalski. 45. Private. 44. Kaput. 43. Johnny Krill. 42. Haggis McHaggis. 41. Monster Krumholtz. 40. Aang. 39. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 38. Darwin. 37. Heffer Wolfe. 36. Judy Funny. 35. Sway-Sway. 34. Invader Zim. 33. Gonard. 32. Blonda. 31. Squidward Tentacles. 30. Dora the Explorer. 29. Tigress. 28. Otto Rocket. 27. Dog. 26. Zarbon. 25. Super Chum. 24. Kitty Katswell. 23. Jenny Wakeman. 22. Treeflower Fields. 21. Gerald. 20. Fee. 19. Harvey Beaks. 18. Daggett Beaver. 17. Pearl Krabs Barracuda. 16. Bulma Briefs. 15. Keswick. 14. Taotie. 13. Stimpy J. Cat. 12. Sandy Cheeks. 11. Larry The Lobster. 10. Wally. 9. Future Adult Rube Goldfish. 8. Chameleon. 7. Bubble Bass. 6. Po. 5. Dudley Puppy. The Final Four: Spongebob Squarepants ("Spongebob Squarepants"). Marlene Otter ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"). Buhdeuce ("Breadwinners"). Yakkity Yak, ("Yakkity Yak"). /

Personal Notes: Honestly speaking? I really had NO plans for HOW the Final Four was going to shape up this time, other than I wanted Spongebob Squarepants to get there. The rest of this season, was basically figuring out which contestants were going to be compelling enough to get to the Final Four WITH him! While Yakkity was quick to figure out (being the ONLY contestant who was ever IN an alliance with Bulma who didn't get eliminated BY her), Buhdeuce and Marlene were slower to catch on. Buhdeuce really only got his spark of incentive when he defeated Tigress, and he decided to keep the ball rolling, in order to prove EVERYONE who ever DOUBTED his ability to go all the way, SO wrong! Marlene was the last piece of the puzzle to fit in. Despite having eleven other contestants to choose from, I SOMEHOW wound up with Marlene being the BEST fit to go into the Final Four AGAIN! However, with three DIFFERENT contestants to go up against THIS time, things might definitely work out differently for her THIS time around! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

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It's time to feel the need, the need for SPEED in the quarter-final match-up of "Total Cartoon Legends!" / Sniz is looking at public domain footage of cars as they have gotten faster throughout the years, and he says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Legends, we were down to the Final Five! And while Spongebob was used to partnering up with Yakkity, and Marlene was used to partnering up with Buhdeuce; Dudley ended up being partnered with Spongebob, while Yakkity got stuck with Johnny Krill! But Yakkity, who SOMEHOW managed to survive being in an alliance with BULMA; somehow managed to SURVIVE being partnered with Johnny Krill as well! Not only that, but Yakkity actually WON immunity and a reward, in a challenge revolving around Benjamin Franklin! And that left Dudley Puppy, the only contestant without an alliance partner, eliminated from the game! Now, at long last, we are finally down to the Final Four! Spongebob Squarepants, Marlene Otter, Buhdeuce, and Yakkity Yak have all beaten 42 other contestants to get here! They are now guaranteed a minimum of a $40 million payout just for winding up in fourth place! However, only can win the grand prize of a $44.44 million cash reward! Things are about to get FAST, as the contestants will soon RACE for the gold, AND the glory; on a super-charged episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "And remember, objects in the mirror are CLOSER than they appear!" /

Instead of the normal show open, it shows a fast-paced montage of Spongebob, Marlene, Buhdeuce, and Yakkity in all of their various victories against the other contestants this season, set to Steppenwolf's MEGA hit song, "Born To Be Wild!" / Steppenwolf sings: "Get your motor runnin', head out on the highway! Lookin' for adventure, and whatever comes our way! Yeah, darlin', go and make it happen! Take the world in a love embrace! Fire all of your guns at once and explode into space! I like smoke and lightning, Heavy Metal thunder! Racin' with the wind, and the feelin' that I'm under. Yeah, Darlin', go and make it happen! Take the world in a love embrace! Fire all of your guns at once, and explode into space! Like a true nature's child, we were born, born to be wild! We can climb so high, I never wanna die! Born to be wild! Born to be wild! (Instrumental Solo) Whoo! Whoo! Get your motor runnin', head out on the highway! Lookin' for adventure, and whatever comes our way! Yeah, Darlin', go and make it happen! Take the world in a love embrace! Fire all of your guns at once, and explode into space! Like a true nature's child, we were born, born to be wild! We can climb so high, I never wanna die! Born to be wild! Born to be wild!" (Instrumental Solo until the montage and song ends)! / "The Legend Of The Lucky Pocket Watch of Henry Ford!" / It is late at night, and Spongebob and Yakkity are arriving back from their reward trip in Philadelphia! Spongebob says: "That Philadelphia trip sure WAS educational! I definitely absorbed a LOT of interesting facts!" Yakkity says: "It's too bad Sniz wouldn't let the Fairy Godparents film anymore of our stay, there. That footage would've been really USEFUL to some people!" Spongebob says: "Yeah, but according to General Barracuda..." Spongebob MORPHS into a likeness of General Barracuda, and doing his BEST Mr. T impersonation, Spongebob says: "Listen, you FOO! There is simply NO audience for an hour long infomercial about the city of Philadelphia, and I PITY the FOO; who don't believe what I'm saying!" Yakkity laughs at that, and he says: "THAT'S General Barracuda, all right!" Spongebob morphs back to normal, and he says: "You SAID it! At least WE'RE the lucky ones! Bubble Bass' Mother actually has to LIVE with him!" Yakkity says: "Yeah; but SOMEHOW, they find a way to make it work!" Spongebob says: "I couldn't even BEGIN to imagine how THAT works out!"

Yakkity says: "My Grandma once told me some couples can only function LIVING like that! Personally, I don't see the appeal to it! Living like that would get DOWNRIGHT exhausting from MY point of view! Not at all ATTRACTIVE, if you know what I mean!" Spongebob says: "Well, it's not for us to decide how General Barracuda and his wife want to live, anyways! It's THEIR collective decisions, and they're the ones who have to deal with it!" Yakkity says: "Speaking of decisions, I suppose YOU'LL have to decide who you're going to take to the Final Three with you if you WIN this challenge!" Spongebob sighs, and says: "Yeah, IF I win! That's what it's all going to boil down to, isn't it?" Yakkity says: "You almost sound as if you don't WANT to win!" Spongebob says: "It's not that I don't WANT to win! It would be very NICE to win! But winning, means I'd have to see one more contestant being voted off, even if I'm not the one actually VOTING that contestant off!" Yakkity sighs, and he says: "I know what you mean. That's probably the biggest DRAWBACK about being on this show; even if you're not personally responsible for it, you STILL have to see at least SOME of your friends being eliminated!" Spongebob says: "And we have just this upcoming challenge and one more after that. I personally have NO idea how Private, Dog, Stimpy, Sandy, Larry, and Bubble Bass were ever able to DO it!" Yakkity says: "Well, you might ask MARLENE if she's up for it! She's the only one out of us who's ever actually BEEN to the Final Three before, even IF she didn't win!" Spongebob says: "True! And I remember her performance of Total Cartoon Action well enough. Even IF the moves she made weren't considered popular, she definitely did what she HAD to do in order to make it to that point! But...I don't think the cut throat approach is cut out for me!" Yakkity says: "Yeah, I wasn't a big fan of Bulma's approach, EITHER! But, you definitely can't argue with a LONG list of contestants that SHE had a hand in eliminating in HER seasons! Let's face the facts; SOMEONE might have to make a hard decision before the Final Challenge gets here. Do you, think I'll honestly be able to get to the Final Three?"

Spongebob says: "I couldn't say for certain one way or the other. But even if THIS is as far as you can get, you'll STILL leave $40 million richer!" Yakkity says: "That's true. But I don't see HOW either of us can compete with Buhdeuce who's turned into a metaphorical buzz saw, and Marlene who has the most collective experience out of all of us!" Spongebob says: "Well, I'm sure Buhdeuce had HIS doubts about being able to beat Tigress, and he STILL managed to do it!" Yakkity says: "Yeah, I guess you're right! We WON'T know if we CAN do it, unless we give it our BEST effort! And we have some of the best reasons for TRYING! You, to avenge your eliminated friends; and me, because I want to make my Grandma proud! Let's give everyone we're playing for, a performance they'll remember for a LONG time after this!" Spongebob says: "Agreed! It's time to play for ALL the marbles, and lay ALL our cards on the table!" (Confessional) Spongebob says: "It sure is strange, that near the end of this season, I've managed to find someone who in many ways, is similar to the way I used to be at the start of this season. I was utterly scared, insecure, and wanting so MUCH for everyone to like me! Over the course of this season, I had to learn the hard way that not everyone WILL like me the way I want them to! And...I'm capable of making irrational, rash decisions the way Squidward has. Those are short-comings that I've had to accept, and things that I'll need to be aware of even AFTER this season is over! But I know this entire experience has made me a better sponge, because I now know how to express myself properly, and not bottle up my emotions like I did in the past! And I owe it all to the help of my friends! I'm playing as much for them, as I am for myself! And I know they'll be cheering for me, should I make it all the way to the Finals! I must do my best for THEIR sake, as well!" / Yakkity says: "My father disappeared when I was eight. No one knows what happened to him. My mom wasn't able to provide for me on her own, so she gave me to my Grandma, my Father's mother, to raise me while she could find a career that would earn her enough money to raise me again! Even though my mom hasn't found her niche yet, certainly NOT from a lack of trying; I still love my mother, and regardless of what happens between now and the end of this season, I'll return home and give my mother the life she's ALWAYS dreamed of; and me, my mother, and my grandma will have a happy life for hopefully many MORE years to come!" (End Confessional)

It is early morning, and Marlene and Buhdeuce are having a meeting in the hotel conference room. Buhdeuce asks: "Marlene, how many eliminated contestants do YOU think, are surprised that I managed to make it THIS far in the game?!" Marlene THINKS about it, and she says: "Let's see...I'd say about, 24 of them!" Buhdeuce says: "That sounds about right!" Marlene says: "But regardless of your OWN personal victory, this is where a win for EITHER of us would be REALLY important to getting us closer to the Finals! After all, only ONE of us can win immunity now; so these next two challenges will determine whether or not YOU stay safe, based on how WELL you play the game!" Buhdeuce asks: "Do you think I should do my best?!" Marlene says: "It's hard to say. It certainly worked for Spongebob, Larry, Reggie, and Bubble Bass! But let's not forget, Dog basically got to share a win with Larry by sheer LUCK, and Patrick SOMEHOW managed to get to the Final Three in season three, without really MEANING to! In any case, I don't think I can honestly say what approach would be best for you. In the end, you have to figure out what's right for YOU, by yourself! It may sound a bit cliche, but there's a reason that information has stuck around for as LONG as it has; it often turns out to BE the truth!" (Confessional) Marlene sighs in relief, and she says: "I didn't jinx it! Against all odds, I made it to the Final Three again! Now, comes the hardest part of this season; seeing whether or not I can eliminate two more contestants! Spongebob is OUT of the question, he's WAY too popular! So, it boils down to how well Yakkity and Buhdeuce perform; in addition to my OWN performance! If Buhdeuce is going to the Final Three, he needs to EARN it by himself! Nobody else can do it for him!" / Buhdeuce yells: "YES!! I'm in the Final Four! I'm in the Final Four! I feel SO excited, I feel like I can FLY!!" And to Buhdeuce's SURPRISE, he actually DOES start flying! Buhdeuce says: "WAIT! I can FLY now? I can FLY NOW!!!! I never thought this day would come, but I've finally EARNED my Breadwinner wings! Sway-Sway says that all the TRUE Breadwinner legends get them someday! Now, I'm up there with some of the legendary greats! No matter what happens now, I can go home feeling like I've won my OWN personal victory! Nothing will change in my friendship with Sway-Sway, but now I know; that even if I have to solve a problem without him, I really CAN do it if I apply EVERYTHING I've learned, in order to do it in REAL life!" (End Confessional)

It is breakfast time, and the remaining contestants are eating their breakfast. Yakkity says: "The cafeteria SURE seems a lot more empty with just the four of us, now." Buhdeuce says: "It was a lot MORE lively when everyone else was here WITH us!" Spongebob says: "Speaking of 'Lively'; Marlene, how WERE you able to get to the Final Three WITHOUT feeling guilty about eliminating SOME of the contestants in season two?" Marlene says: "In the first place, at least NINE of those contestants were eliminated in ways that I either had no control over; or they would've been eliminated even WITHOUT my help! Secondly, I had a different mind set back than! I didn't think in a way that would insure my own PERSONAL popularity with all of the contestants! I just wanted to get to the Final Three! If I had known back THAN that I could do it WITHOUT playing the 'Flirt Card' at all, I would've done so! Of course, you've never HAD that problem! And if the reason you WANTED to ask me how I DON'T feel guilty about eliminating someone? The sad fact of the matter is, Spongebob; if you DO end up having to eliminate someone LIKE Bulma Briefs, than you probably WILL feel guilty about it! And that's perfectly NATURAL! I don't think that it doesn't MEAN that you DON'T care! The fact that you DO feel guilty about Bulma's elimination, is actually the fact that you DID care about her elimination! We all do things in our life that we might feel guilty about! I know how THAT feels due to TRYING to have a FAKE romance with Captain Retro...I'm REALLY not proud of that! But for what it's worth, it was more MY mistake than his! He was a NICE dog, and he didn't deserve to be led on like that! The point is, I've learned not to pull stunts like that anymore! I guess you could say, that a mistake doesn't have to BE for nothing; as long as you learn from your mistake and improve from it, than THAT'S what really counts!" Spongebob says: "Thanks for sharing that with me, Marlene. I feel like I can tackle the Final Four, now!" Marlene says: "Anything to help a fellow marine mammal!"

(Confessional) Spongebob says: "So, I'm not the only one who can feel guilty about something. I guess EVERYONE can feel guilty about something...especially if they're truly HONEST with themselves! But having that guilt isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign that you care, and you WANT to do better! And if you DO take a mistake that you've made to heart, than that's a sign that you ARE doing better, because it's only from learning from the mistakes that you make, that you can grow and mature into becoming who you are MEANT to be!" / Marlene sighs, and she says: "Yeah, I probably just HANDED a Final Two slot to Spongebob right then and there. But for me? It's better to know NOW, who I'll compete against in the Finals! And if it's someone who IS on good terms with me, that's just an added bonus from MY perspective!" (End Confessional) Johnny Krill walks in, but he doesn't have the gong! Buhdeuce asks: "What? No gong today?" Johnny says: "Well, you made it to the Final Four! You know everyone who GOT eliminated, and you're the last four left! Out of all the contestants on THIS half-season, you're the best of the bunch! And...we won't have a Moat Challenge, today!" Yakkity asks: "Why? Did Cosmo FORGET to put Chlorine in the Moat?" Johnny says: "No. General Barracuda says that the time has come to recap all the contestants the four of you have surpassed, in order to get to this point!" Buhdeuce asks: "So...are we NOT having a challenge?" Johnny says: "Don't worry, there will BE a challenge, AFTER the retrospective! So come with me, and let's get this over with!" (Confessional) Yakkity says: "I never thought I'd see the day when Johnny WOULDN'T be excited about announcing the upcoming challenge!" / Johnny asks: "How could I possibly be excited? I have no personal STAKE in it!" / Buhdeuce says: "I guess Sniz wants to get the Retrospective out of the way FIRST, BEFORE we head into the challenge! Suits me just fine; it gives me MORE time to mentally prepare myself!" (End Confessional) Johnny Krill leads the Final Four contestants, and see Sniz on a car-sized treadmill, in the driver's seat of a red sports car that can comfortably seat four OTHER passengers! Sniz says: "Welcome, contestants! Or should I say more appropriately; Quarter-Finalists? You have gotten past 42 other contestants to get to this coveted place; so what better time to do a retrospective?!"

Johnny says: "You never did a retrospective during Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" Sniz says: "That's because there were only fourteen of you! And besides, the studio VETOED that idea! The point is, we're going to do a DRIVING retrospective now, for these four Legends who have proven to be the BEST of the legends!" Buhdeuce asks: "Can't I FLY?! Because I can do that, now!" Marlene says: "At this point, I'm not sure if ANYTHING can surprise me!" General Barracuda says: "Absolutely NOT, Buhdeuce! If it were up to ME, you'd get NOTHING; and LIKE it!" Yakkity says: "I heard of 'Telling it like it is;' but that seems a bit MUCH for MY liking!" Spongebob says: "You said it!" Sniz says: "In any case, we have a schedule to keep to! And the sooner we get this done, the sooner we can do the challenge!" Marlene says: "Very well. I CALL SHOTGUN!!" And she dashes to the front-side passenger seat before anyone else can grab it! (Confessional) General Barracuda chuckles, and he says: "I got to hand it to Marlene! She sees her opportunities, and takes them when she can! She definitely has MY vote for winning!" / Johnny says: "Well, I least I'll get a little bit of retrospective recognition this time around! It's better than nothing!" / Buhdeuce says: "It's sad that Marlene has grown numb to the surprises this show has to offer. At least I haven't!" / Marlene says: "If I'm going to do this retrospective, I WANT to be as comfortable as possible!" / Yakkity says: "General Barracuda is SO lucky he works on THIS show! I'm not sure if he COULD get work anywhere else!" / Spongebob says: "This driving thing is probably a PREVIEW of the challenge we're going to have! Leave it to Sniz to make a SUBTLE surprise, for a change!" (End Confessional) Spongebob, Buhdeuce, and Yakkity all take seats, with Buhdeuce getting STUCK in the middle of the back! Buhdeuce asks: "Hey! How come I have to get STUCK in the middle?!" Yakkity says: "Well, you do fit the BEST in the middle seat!" And Johnny Krill plays a rim-shot! Marlene asks: "THAT was worthy of a rim-shot?!" Spongebob says: "Take what you can get! It's going to be a LONG ride to nowhere, LITERALLY!" Sniz says: "Even so, I want EVERYONE to buckle up!" And everyone does so! Sniz says: "Johnny Krill, turn on the treadmill!" And Johnny turns on the treadmill, and Sniz begins driving the four contestants along a patch of scenery, that looks SUSPICIOUSLY a LOT like a "Repeat Pan" from an old Hanna-Barbera cartoon! Buhdeuce asks: "WAIT! Hanna-Barbera is allowing us to use one of THEIR old backgrounds?!"

Sniz asks: "Are you KIDDING?! Have you SEEN 'Teen Titans Go!'? Hanna-Barbera's parent company Warner Bros. is willing to do ANYTHING for money!" And while the Repeat Pan plays, the contestants see images of the former contestants that have been eliminated! Spongebob says: "There's Kowalski and Private!" Buhdeuce says: "How in the world were THOSE two eliminated first?!" Marlene says: "Two reasons, for not thinking out their whole plan through; thanks a LOT Skipper, and the fact that the Silver Snakes and the Blue Barracudas wanted to use THEM as scapegoats for failing the first challenge!" Yakkity says: "I can vouch for THOSE view-points! Your assessment is TOTALLY accurate!" (Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "I'm sure if Tigress had HER way, Spongebob and I would've been eliminated FIRST! Good thing the Green Monkeys got paired up with the Red Jaguars, and I was on the same team as HER!" / Marlene says: "Personally, I have NEVER seen the appeal of acting like a 'Leeroy Jenkins'! So why do SIX of the seven major guys I know of in MY life feel the need to act OUT like that?! Thank goodness for MAURICE to provide me with a SMALL, remaining bit of sanity for MY sake, as well as his!" / Yakkity says: "Trust me, there was no SHORTAGE of contestants back THAN, myself included; who felt it was BEST for those two to go FIRST! I mean, at least I managed to make it all the way here, so I don't see any OTHER way I might have made it here otherwise!" (End Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "There's Kaput and Johnny Krill!" Johnny shouts: "I'm also standing RIGHT here!" Sniz says: "You're still TECHNICALLY eliminated!" Marlene asks: "Any idea why THOSE two got eliminated?" Yakkity says: "It was simply a result of SO many plans clashing together at once! Tigress wanted Aang gone, Aang wanted Tigress gone, and Bulma suspected that BOTH of them had an immunity pendant, so she told Sandy to vote 'Someone inconsequential'! If I had KNOWN Johnny Krill meant THAT much to Spongebob at the time, I would've considered voting for someone OTHER than Tigress and Aang!" Spongebob says: "That's very considerate of you to say!" (Confessional) Marlene says: "Don't get me wrong; Kaput and Johnny Krill probably WOULD have been eliminated ANYWAYS even WITHOUT the 'Gambit Pile-Up'. The fact that it happened WHEN it did, just made it happen a lot sooner!" /

Yakkity says: "Come to think of it, the fact that I wasn't made AWARE of Bulma's plan, because I wasn't IN an alliance with her at the time; was probably a major factor as to why I got INTO an alliance with her in the first place!" / Spongebob says: "It's always refreshing for me, when someone ELSE admits that they've made a mistake! It makes me glad to know that I'm NOT the only one who makes them!" (End Confessional) Marlene says: "There's Haggis and Monster Krumholtz!" Spongebob says: "Poor Haggis, he was SO robbed by Aang!" Buhdeuce says: "Even so, he really didn't HAVE the stamina to compete with us! And it's not like YOU could think of any way for Monster to be relevant to YOUR team! If anything, their eliminations were basically MERCY eliminations for everyone else!" Yakkity says: "And all things considered, I was probably ONE of the contestants to benefit FROM them!" (Confessional) Spongebob says: "All things considered, if someone IS going to get eliminated; they should be eliminated on their OWN terms, not terms that someone ELSE randomly decides! Accident or not, I'm GLAD I was able to teach Aang a LESSON in respecting his elders; among OTHER things!" / Buhdeuce says: "I feel the only thing the rest of us missed out on, from Haggis being eliminated so soon; is that we didn't have more time to learn the tricks of a TRUE master actor!" / Yakkity says: "It's a pity Monster didn't stick around longer, we could've made for a very GOOD combination if we ever got to work together!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "There's Aang and Snaptrap!" And EVERYONE else, simultaneously says: "BOO!!!!" Johnny says: "It serves Aang RIGHT, only getting eliminated two episodes after I did!" Marlene says: "Of course, I don't think ANY of us would've EVER suspected that it would be SPONGEBOB who would deliver the Coup de Grace to Aang, possessed by Master Coelaceanth!" Buhdeuce says: "Yeah, how come you've never used your Super Saiyan 2 abilities AFTER that?" Spongebob says: "Come on! If I did that, none of you would have a CHANCE against me! I only want to use those powers in an emergency like THAT one! And it's sad that Snaptrap didn't REALIZE that he wasn't acting evil on his own free will; at least we made sure Anti-Cosmo got punished when we realized THAT truth!" Yakkity says: "I sure am glad for the fact that Spongebob is on OUR side!"

(Confessional) Johnny says: "Aang is LUCKY that Sniz decided to eliminate him by ejection, because I'm sure that every OTHER contestant; even if they didn't appear on THIS half-season, would've voted him off if given the chance! And I can safely say that, because I would've been just ONE of them!" / Marlene shakes her head, and she says: "It's sad how SOME people can let fame go to their heads! I just consider myself lucky that I'm not ONE of them!" / Spongebob says: "Will I ever use my Super Saiyan 2 abilities again? It's hard to say. All I know is that if I need to, I definitely will! Once you know your own true potential being THAT good, you NEVER forget how THAT feels EVER again!" / Buhdeuce says: "I'll admit, I was caught off guard by Aang when he attacked as a contestant! But if we were to fight NOW, I could DEFINITELY take him on!" / Yakkity says: "It's a shame that Snaptrap was only recently FREED from being evil. He could've been such a nice rodent contestant to the rest of us!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "There's Darwin and Heffer Wolfe!" Johnny asks: "Does anyone remember anything noteworthy about THEM?!" Spongebob winces, and he says: "Not REALLY, and I'M being generous!" Marlene says: "Well, it's HARD when you're in a contest with over 3 dozen OTHER contestants! I'm just lucky I was able to push my WAY out of that crowded field!" Yakkity says: "And I'm lucky that Bulma was willing to help ME through it!" Buhdeuce says: "And I'm lucky that Sway-Sway has been my inspiration since THEN, and continues to be so NOW!" (Confessional) Sniz says: "Well, there were bound to be SOME contestants that WEREN'T going to give us something to talk about; unlike a Bonnie Raitt song!" / Spongebob says: "Probably the biggest reason why I don't remember much about them, is because I was STILL dealing with some personal issues of MINE at the time! It had nothing to do with them, it was just something I had to go through!" / Marlene says: "I'm definitely LUCKY, in the fact that unlike Darwin and Heffer, I HAD a good personality to fall back on; while I waited for the field to clear up a little!" / Yakkity says: "Personally speaking, I probably went through MORE elimination ceremonies than anyone else! If I didn't have Bulma as a friend, I'm not sure if I would've lasted as LONG as I have! I definitely owe her at least SOME money, if nothing else if I DO win the big prize!" /

Buhdeuce says: "Even though I really don't see HOW Sway-Sway could've gotten through all the challenges that I have had to go through on my own, I still wish he could've at least had the CHANCE to go through them! At least I was able to go through them for the BOTH of us!" (End Confessional) Yakkity says: "There's Judy and Sway-Sway!...That's, STILL probably a bit of a sore spot for Buhdeuce; isn't it?!" Buhdeuce breaks down and cries: "Sway-Sway, you were robbed TOO soon! BAH!!!!" Marlene says: "Look on the BRIGHT side! Not...EVERYONE would've voted HIM off! Spongebob wouldn't!" And Spongebob says: "Of COURSE not!" Yakkity says: "Yeah, and Judy was ALSO taken out than, so she KNOWS what it feels like to be the first batch of contestants eliminated!" Spongebob says: "He's right! This is no time to break down! Sway-Sway WANTS you to keep going!" Buhdeuce dries his eyes, and he says: "You're right! I need to DO this, for Sway-Sway!" (Confessional) Marlene says: "Would I have voted off Sway-Sway if I had the opportunity to do so, knowing what I know now? Hard to say. All I know is, I have no way of knowing how the REST of the half-season would've gone down, had Sway-Sway not been eliminated than! For instance, I might not be here right now! And for what it's worth, Tigress was REALLY the one who handled MOST of the early eliminations back than!" / Yakkity says: "It's all a matter or perspective! You can't get hung up on the fact, that something bad happens to someone else you're REALLY close to! It's probably happened to a lot of OTHER people to! Besides, when you think about it; everything can actually be an OPPORTUNITY for you to grow and develop, in order to realize your TRUE potential! I...know it's not the BEST thing to say, but I feel that if Sway-Sway didn't get eliminated when he did; Buhdeuce might have never GOTTEN the incentive to go as far as he HAS! It...will be DIFFICULT to eliminate him, if he DOESN'T win immunity in THIS challenge!" / Spongebob says: "Honestly speaking? I think the world NEEDS more sensitive males right now. The fact of the matter is, not all; but far too many men throughout history, have been too detached from their emotions. They let their EGO control their actions, and therefore RARELY think about the consequences! But if you feel with your HEART, it's almost ALWAYS the right course of action to take!" /

Buhdeuce says: "Spongebob is right! I can't let up now, when I'm so close to the finish line! I got to make the last push, and go ALL the way across! That's what Sway-Sway would do!" (End Confessional) Marlene says: "There's Zim and Gonard!" Yakkity says: "Were there any two eliminations any MORE obvious this season?" Buhdeuce says: "I highly doubt it. The question was never IF Zim would be eliminated; but WHEN!" Spongebob says: "All I know is, Gonard didn't perform NEARLY as well in THIS season, as he did in his LAST season!" Sniz says: "Well, we never KNOW how things can change for contestants! Not everyone's game can improve, you know!" (Confessional) Sniz says: "Although, it would be kind of cool if that DID happen; for US anyways!" / Yakkity says: "Let's be honest; Invader Zim was like MINUS one contestant ANYWAYS! So, if you THINK about it; the Silver Snakes/Purple Parrots actually broke EVEN with HIS elimination!" / Spongebob says: "There were many ways this season could've gone down differently, had different contestants been on different teams! All I know is, for what it's worth; I'm glad that I was on the Green Monkeys for that entire time!" Marlene sticks her head in, and she says: "Me, to!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "There's Blonda and Squidward!" Yakkity says: "It's really Squidward's OWN fault he got ELIMINATED! If he had JUST swallowed his pride and APOLOGIZED to Spongebob in the FIRST place, he would've been able to stay on LONGER!" Spongebob says: "Well, I wasn't going to FORCE him to apologize to me! In the first place, it would've been INSINCERE! And secondly, it would've been WRONG! You can't just FORCE someone to apologize to you! Well, technically you COULD; but that's FROWNED upon in MOST proper areas of society!" Marlene says: "I know how THAT feels like! It took me AGES before I felt like I could HONESTLY apologize for what I did in season three, to Wally and Captain Retro!" Buhdeuce says: "At least Squidward's career has FINALLY taken off thanks to Blonda's help! Perhaps he can finally BE happy with his own life now!" (Confessional) Yakkity says: "Yeah, it actually IS quite impressive for me to survive BEING on a team filled with SO many dysfunctional contestants! Even if most of my victories HAVE been 'Victory by endurance', it's still a victory that COUNTS!" /

Spongebob says: "It took me a long time to figure out that there are MANY different personality types in this world, and not every single one of them is going to be compatible with every other personality type in the world. Even so, I still think it's important that we all do our best; to try to get along together in the best way that we can!" / Marlene says: "I've started to be on speaking terms with Captain Retro again. As it turns out, he...had his own misguided ideas about love. He wasn't really so much in LOVE with me, as he was with the idea of me! He admitted that he unconsciously, projected his own idea of the ideal woman onto me; and I was willing to play into it, not realizing that it wasn't the right thing to do! I guess we BOTH had to grow up, and realize that he should love the TRUE version of a woman; and I learned not to go along with someone's IDEA of an ideal woman, because it's not healthy for EITHER of us in the long run!" / Buhdeuce says: "I think it's kind of weird how Squidward's career got so much BETTER after having BEEN a contestant on this show! Kind of like Sway-Sway. Apparently, he's having a successful career of his own! I've got to ask him more about it, once I get to see him again!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Hold it, time out! Turn off the treadmill, Johnny Krill!" Johnny says: "Oh, all right!" And Johnny turns the treadmill off, and Sniz slows the car down to a stop! Yakkity asks: "Why did we stop? Is something wrong?" Sniz says: "Yeah, something's wrong! For starters, I almost forgot to announce the challenge that we're going to DO after this retrospective is over! Olmec, tell us what today's legend is!" Olmec says: "Today's legend, is The Legend Of The Lucky Pocket Watch of Henry Ford!" Marlene says: "Oh! So THAT'S why we're using a car for this retrospective!" Sniz says: "Exactly! Unfortunately, I've got to take a restroom break; and I suggest you all do so to!" Spongebob says: "Good idea!" Buhdeuce says: "I'm flying there!" Sniz says: "You should all probably take a bathroom break, to. But don't go away, because we'll finish up with our retrospective, before we tackle today's legend; on today's episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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I just want to get this episode done, so here is the second and final part of "The Legend Of The Lucky Pocket Watch of Henry Ford!" / After the commercials end, the contestants return to Sniz's car on the treadmill, to continue with their retrospective. Buhdeuce says: "Some quarter-final match-up THIS is turning out to be! I don't have Sway-Sway, Marlene doesn't have her penguin buddies, Spongebob doesn't have any of his friends, we completely skipped over the Moat challenge, and at the rate THIS episode is going, we won't have a Steps of Knowledge challenge! And that's something that Legends of The Hidden Temple is SUPPOSED to do!" Marlene rolls her eyes, and says: "Oh, what are YOU complaining about?! You're going to get at LEAST $40 million even IF you're eliminated in this episode!" Spongebob says: "I guess he's become like the way Tigress used to be. Her motto WAS 'No challenge, equals NO satisfaction!" Yakkity says: "It's safe to say that probably NONE of us would be here, if SHE was still here!" Sniz returns, and he says: "And it's on THAT note, that we're going to resume our little retrospective!" Marlene says: "That's good to know. I STILL CALL SHOTGUN!!!!" And she dashes for the front passenger seat AGAIN, and everyone else takes the same seats they had before! Buhdeuce groans, as he says: "I'm getting tired of this!" General Barracuda says: "I'm not! I get a good chuckle out of seeing YOU in MISERY!" Spongebob rolls his eyes, and he says: "Figures YOU would!" Yakkity says: "Lucky for US, he doesn't even FIGURE in these eliminations, so WE don't NEED to talk about him!" Johnny says: "At least they TALKED about ME! Who's laughing now?" General Barracuda says: "If the F.C.C. WOULD only LET me, I'd give THEM something to LAUGH about!" Sniz says: "Well, they WON'T; so you CAN'T! Anyways, let's get on with the retrospective! Johnny, turn on the treadmill!" And Johnny turns on the treadmill again, and Sniz once again resumes driving past the repeat pan of an old Hanna-Barbera cartoon. As they drive, they pass by MORE images of contestants that were eliminated!

Yakkity says: "There's Dora the Explorer and Tigress!" Marlene says: "The only reason I LITERALLY want to learn SOME Spanish, is to learn how to say the words 'Has-been' and 'Dumb-butt' in Espanol!" Spongebob says: "I don't know what Dora was THINKING, if at ALL; when she decided to pattern her game-playing strategy after Bulma's in season three! First of all, A; it didn't WORK! And B, with Bulma playing; she certainly wasn't going to let SOME teenager get away with something SHE couldn't get away with! Who would've guessed that it would end up being BULMA who ended Dora's hopes of trying to claim the $44.44 million?!" Buhdeuce says: "And I don't think anyone could've guessed that I would be the one to PERSONALLY eliminate Tigress and become a competitive force to be reckoned with!" Yakkity says: "You KNOW Tigress basically HANDED you that win on a silver platter ONLY because she was pregnant!" Buhdeuce says: "Irrelevant! A win's a win!" Johnny says: "I certainly won't argue with him on THAT point!" (Confessional) Marlene says: "In real life, Dora would've NEVER been able to stop Swiper simply by saying 'Swiper, no swiping'! I mean, why ELSE would he wear a mask?!" / Spongebob says: "Don't get me wrong, we probably WOULD'VE been able to eliminate Dora EVENTUALLY even WITHOUT Bulma's help; she just made it happen a lot faster!" / Buhdeuce says: "I personally don't GET why General Barracuda still likes giving ME a bad time! If it weren't for ME eliminating Tigress, none of the Final Four INCLUDING myself would look the way it does NOW! Or is it only ME that he has a problem with? Either way, there are FAR more important things that HE could be worrying about!" / Yakkity says: "Make no mistake, if Tigress HADN'T had the handicap she had, she probably could've turned Buhdeuce's FEATHERS into a nice down pillow! At least all of Buhdeuce's OTHER victories were his own!" (End Confessional)

Johnny says: "There's Otto Rocket and Dog!" Marlene says: "I don't know HOW Dog, a former champion, be eliminated with over HALF of the contestants still remaining in the competition!" Spongebob says: "Or how Otto, a contestant who gave Sandy Cheeks a run for her money; could get eliminated in the same episode as Dog!" Buhdeuce says: "Maybe they simply suffered from competition burn-out! I mean, Otto competed in four whole seasons! It's HARD to compete with the same edge you had in the first season of something you competed in! And Dog? He simply didn't exhibit enough self-control!" Yakkity says: "I can vouch for that! Compared to Dog, Dudley was the KING of self-control!" Johnny says: "I guess all that T.U.F.F. TRAINING finally paid OFF for him!" And Johnny plays a rim-shot after that joke, with everyone looking at him strangely. Johnny asks: "WHAT?! I'm allowed to make rim-shots after MY own jokes!" (Confessional) Johnny says: "In a Final Four with Spongebob, Marlene, Buhdeuce, AND Yakkity, I don't know how I STILL ended up being the Comedy Relief! Maybe I should do a MOVIE with Yakkity, if he's ever INTERESTED!" / Marlene says: "Honestly? The fact that Dog got eliminated a lot EARLIER in this season, compared to season three, made me MORE determined than EVER, to get to the Final Four and do a MUCH better job of being a contestant THIS time!" / Spongebob says: "Otto was probably one of the FEW contestants I would've been WILLING to actually vote off! He's never RESPECTED me during ANY of the times we were contestants together, and he actively AVOIDED speaking to me whenever possible! Come to think of it; I was BASICALLY competing WITH Squidward before I ACTUALLY competed with Squidward, if that MAKES any sense!" / Buhdeuce says: "Not everyone can do better in their second season the way I can! Although, both Marlene and Spongebob are doing better THIS time around, and they've been in more seasons than I have! I'll have to do my best if I want to beat THEM!" / Yakkity says: "If I could, I would TOTALLY have a dog as a pet! But Grandma says 'No, she already has to raise ONE wild animal in her house!" And Johnny Krill plays a rim-shot! (End Confessional)

Yakkity says: "There's Zarbon and Super Chum! By the way, I've never been let IN on Zarbon's dirty secret that Bulma shared with everybody else! Why DID Zarbon let Bulma boss him around in season three?" Marlene says: "Basically, Zarbon is able to transform into something SO ugly looking, it makes the boss of Dark Gaia from 'Sonic Unleashed' look downright pleasant to look at!" Spongebob shivers, and he says: "I sure am glad we never actually had to SEE it! And thank goodness that Super Chum was able to stop him! It's a shame he decided to quit, though." Buhdeuce says: "It was probably for the best. I highly doubt any of us, even WITH my video game skills, would've been able to stop him!" Johnny says: "And besides, I like all four of YOU as Final Four contestants BETTER; anyways!" Sniz says: "It's nice to know that you all have at least ONE loyal fan who is loyal to you!" (Confessional) Yakkity says: "I hate it when Sniz uses STEALTH insults at our expense!" / Marlene says: "Don't get me wrong; I can TAKE stealth insults, but I PREFER to dish them out! And also, Skipper absolutely HATES it that I'm better than HIM at video games! He STILL has trouble just trying to beat 'Donkey Kong Jr.'!" / Spongebob says: "The only GOOD thing about Super Chum quitting, is I personally didn't HAVE to vote him off; even if I am technically FORCED to vote for SOMEONE at the end of every Elimination Ceremony!" / Buhdeuce says: "Seeing that I could fly now, I probably COULD stand a better chance against Super Chum now; I'm just glad that I don't HAVE to! See how that works?" / Johnny says: "Even I wouldn't be crazy enough to take on either Zarbon or Super Chum in a straight up challenge, and I do extreme STUNTS for a living!" (End Confessional)

Yakkity says: "There's Kitty Katswell and Jenny Wakeman! Or as they SHOULD be referred to, 'The Elephants In the Room'! I can't, in good conscience; even PRETEND that I can make a GOOD joke about that!" Spongebob says: "Me, neither! And that's coming from someone who's sometimes FORCED to do questionable things for the sake of his studio executives!" Marlene says: "Long story short; they both messed up! I'm just glad WE all have better HEADS on our shoulders! Well, MOST of us; anyways!" Buhdeuce says: "Are even YOU making fun of MY intelligence?!" Johnny groans, and he says: "Oh, don't always ASSUME that when you HEAR an insult; it's ALWAYS directed at YOU!" (Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "It's just in MY experience, whenever I DO hear an insult; it's almost ALWAYS directed at ME!" / Yakkity says: "Probably one of the only things WORSE than being a contestant who gets eliminated on a show of this nature? Not even being talked about AFTER the fact!" / Spongebob says: "It's sad when after TWO seasons, the only thing I personally KNOW about Kitty, is that she's stubborn with a rigid mind; and is willing to wear white boots even AFTER Labor Day!" / Marlene says: "The only downside with being partnered with Buhdeuce? He doesn't even know how to take a JOKE! He needs TRAINING in THAT department!" / Johnny says: "As far as I'm concerned? Marlene is RIGHT! And there are quite a NUMBER of people I personally know of, but won't list here; who fall UNDER that description as well!" (End Confessional)

Yakkity says: "There's Treeflower and Gerald! Treeflower was basically the first REAL contestant any of us HAD to eliminate in order to get here!" Spongebob says: "Although to be fair, at least she had a good REASON for LETTING herself be eliminated! She wanted to gain some respect back, and giving me an Immunity Pendant was her way of doing that! I just never THOUGHT that Daggett would be able to outlast her WITHOUT Norbert; even if it wasn't by much! Although, Gerald sure made a BIG mistake of TRYING to make Treeflower freak out for no GOOD reason! It serves Gerald right that HE ended up freaking out before all was said and done!" Marlene says: "In all seriousness though; if she didn't let HERSELF get eliminated, BULMA certainly would've figured out a way to eliminate her FOR us!" Buhdeuce says: "You said it! Instead of The Police singing about 'The King Of Pain', she would've been the QUEEN of Pain; as far as eliminations go!" Yakkity says: "She never even TRIED to eliminate ME!" Johnny says: "Only because she really WANTED your friendship, and didn't WANT to go through a repeat of what happened to her in season three AGAIN!" Yakkity says: "Irrelevant! The fact IS, she kept her WORD; and we all let her down by not trusting her!" (Confessional) Yakkity says: "Basically, I feel like I owe it to Bulma to get to the Final Three now; so I can look her in the eyes and tell her that I'm sorry for doing what I did. Just like her, I am capable of making mistakes; AND learning from them! And I've learned that some people ARE able to change for the better!" / Spongebob says: "In terms of pure statistics, Treeflower is a VERY competent contestant! Gerald? Not so much. I wasn't really surprised when HE got eliminated!" / Marlene says: "The BEST thing about Treeflower being eliminated; is that BESIDES the QUIET that followed, Keswick was able to prove that he was MUCH smarter and more capable WITHOUT her interference!" / Buhdeuce says: "Even I have to agree with Marlene! Treeflower lasted a LOT longer than she had any real RIGHT to!" / Johnny says: "All I know is, if I had been in YAKKITY'S scenario, Bulma wouldn't have hesitated for a NANO-SECOND to eliminate me, and I can't even BELIEVE that I actually KNOW what a Nano-Second IS!" (End Confessional)

Yakkity says: "There's Fee and Harvey Beaks!" He waits for a while for somebody else to speak, but nobody does so! Yakkity says: "Why isn't anyone else talking?" Spongebob says: "Yakkity, you helped ELIMINATE two young kids who didn't DESERVE to be ELIMINATED the way they were!" Yakkity groans, and says: "Come ON! You can't put the blame ALL on me! You KNOW it was mostly BULMA'S idea!" Marlene says: "That doesn't change the fact that YOU went along with it, just so Daggett could STAY on for ONE more episode!" Yakkity says: "Okay, Fee IS legitimate; I'll give you THAT, but you can't fault me for HARVEY! He CHOSE to quit on his own! Nobody FORCED him to! If he WANTED to quit, he was perfectly in his right to DO so!" Buhdeuce says: "Come on! Bulma KNEW that Harvey LOVES Fee, that's why Bulma ELIMINATED Fee; so Harvey would be distraught and QUIT! Even I wouldn't have gone for such an OBVIOUS 2 for 1 gambit!" Yakkity groans, and he says: "Okay, FINE! I fell for the OLD 2 for 1 gambit to keep MY own team safe! Does THAT automatically make ME dumb?" Johnny says: "No, it just makes YOU complacent; which is arguably WORSE!" Yakkity gets an Anime sweat drop, and says: "I guess quoting a little Shakespear theater and saying 'What's done is done' is out of the question." Sniz says: "Pretty much!" (Confessional) Yakkity says: "Oh, MAN! I completely FORGOT about Fee and Harvey! Why did this Retrospective have to bring THOSE two up, BESIDES the obvious reasons?! Do they THINK Fee and Harvey would've lasted much LONGER even without THAT double elimination? They certainly WEREN'T going to betray each other, and even if Harvey DIDN'T quit; he would STILL be MISERABLE without Fee for the REST of his hypothetical time as a contestant! If anything, I think Bulma actually did him a FAVOR in the long run by sparing him from that agony; right?! RIGHT?!!!" / Spongebob sighs, and he says: "Honestly, Fee and Harvey probably would've been eliminated EVENTUALLY with or without Yakkity's help! Doesn't make it any better to KNOW that, though." / Marlene says: "I'm not saying that I personally haven't done questionable things, because I have, but I DON'T eliminate children who haven't DONE anything to me yet! I have STANDARDS!" / Buhdeuce says: "Hopefully, that QUELLS the debate on who's the DUMB one! I.E., NOT me!" (End Confessional)

Johnny says: "There's Daggett and Pearl!" Marlene says: "Up until Pearl's elimination, all of the eliminations for representatives from 'Spongebob Squarepants' were pretty well spaced out! After her elimination? Not so much!" Spongebob sheds a single tear, and he says: "Yeah, it's sad to think about that. Although I am impressed Daggett figured out a way to NOT let Bulma have the last word on HIS elimination, and chose to be DEFIANT about it! That arguably was the beginning of the END of Bulma's ability to control the challenges in this half-season!" Buhdeuce says: "And I know WE'RE all thankful for that! Bulma's elimination from this contest was undoubtedly, the final piece of the puzzle to ALL of us being here!" Yakkity says: "Including ME! And fun fact, NINE out of TEN Australian children LOVE me!" But nobody responds to him! Yakkity says: "Come on! STILL nothing?" Johnny says: "They're STILL miffed about the fact that you had a hand in eliminating Fee and Harvey!" Yakkity sarcastically says: "THANK you, Captain Obvious!" (Confessional) Yakkity asks: "Is this Fee and Harvey thing going to be something I have to take care of in some way? Because I think I should be warned a MONTH in advance, MINIMUM; the consequences of eliminating two kids from a contest BEFORE I do that! If I had known that THIS would happen, I would've considered some alternatives!" / Marlene says: "I still find it WEIRD that Norbert turned down a chance of competing in THIS season, just so Daggett could do it! At least Daggett actually GOT smarter this season, so at least it wasn't TOTALLY for nothing!" / Spongebob says: "While I now realize that I was NEVER going to be able to take ALL of my friends WITH me to the Final Three, I still would've liked to have taken SOME of them! For moral and emotional support, if nothing else!" / Buhdeuce says: "The fact that I've already outlasted 30 more contestants than Sway-Sway did is nothing short of astounding to me! While I miss him dearly, I need to keep my wits about me; in order to make the final push to the Final Three!" / Johnny Krill chuckles, and he says: "Captain Obvious? THAT'S a new one I've PERSONALLY never heard of before, in relation to ME!" (End Confessional)

Yakkity says: "There's Bulma and Keswick, the former of who you ALL; including myself, voted OFF despite the fact that she NEVER went out of her way to target ANY of US!" And everyone's expressions FREEZE in STUNNED silence! Yakkity asks: "Doesn't feel so GOOD, does it? Being blamed for something that you didn't take the time to THINK about at the time you did it?" Marlene says: "Well, it completely defied LOGIC! Bulma never STRUCK me as the type who WOULD put a friend before her OWN needs! She never DID that before!" Spongebob says: "I thought she was LIKE Aang and Master Coelaceanth, that she wouldn't ACCEPT my offer of redemption even if I OFFERED it! So I helped shoot her down to AVOID feeling any crushing bitterness and disappointment in my heart!" Buhdeuce awkwardly says: "I really don't HAVE an opinion, I wasn't actually PRESENT in that elimination ceremony! I'm...mostly surprised she DID get eliminated when she did!" Johnny says: "You're NOT the only one! Keswick was to! And two of YOU eliminated HIM because you KNEW you couldn't beat him intellectually!" Sniz rolls his eyes, and says: "Like YOU could've beaten HIM intellectually!" Johnny says: "Irrelevant!" (Confessional) Johnny says: "For what anybody knows, if the challenges had been DIFFERENT; I could've TOTALLY beaten Keswick in any athletic themed challenges!" / Yakkity says: "Don't get me wrong; Bulma would've JUST been eliminated in another episode anyways, I just don't like the fact that she was eliminated in the way she WAS! See how that works?" / Marlene says: "Just for context, Bulma acting like an Altruist; is like Skipper NOT acting like 'Leeroy Jenkins'! A totally unexpected occurrence, and not at ALL likely in ANY realm of possibility and reality!" / Spongebob says: "The fact of the matter is, the only alternative I had to voting off Bulma, was voting off Taotie! And I would PREFER eliminating Taotie for something he ACTUALLY did! And since he hadn't and never DID this season, that only LEFT Bulma! I'm sorry!" / Buhdeuce says: "Honestly? Bulma probably COULD beat me in an intellectual challenge; so it's lucky for me that SHE'S gone!" (End Confessional)

Yakkity says: "There's Taotie and Stimpy!" Marlene says: "Nothing WE could've done about THEIR eliminations, they were completely automatic SIMPLY because they finished in last place!" Spongebob says: "At least Taotie was GENUINE about turning over a new leaf. He's a MUCH better good guy than he EVER was as a BAD guy!" Buhdeuce says: "You said it! Maybe he might be willing to help me take care of Oonski if he's up for such a thing!" Yakkity says: "I'd certainly be interested in watching that!" (Confessional) Yakkity says: "In addition to being a comedian, I'm planning on being a comedic writer, and writing my OWN books of material on comedy! I'm hoping to be taken SERIOUSLY as a writer; seriously FUNNY, that is!" / Marlene says: "I was a little nervous when Stimpy got eliminated. After he got eliminated in season 3, it wasn't long before I followed suit! Luckily for me, in that case; lightning DIDN'T strike in the same place twice!" / Spongebob says: "I truly believe that MOST people and beings are good deep down inside! After all, I feel like it's such a WASTE of time and energy to actively feel ANGRY about everyone all the time! It CANNOT be healthy for your heart OR soul!" / Buhdeuce says: "Don't get me wrong, Oonski is GOOD at what he does! If it weren't for him, I'm not sure if our show would've lasted even TWO seasons on air!" (End Confessional)

Johnny says: "There's--!" Than he STOPS when he remembers SPONGEBOB is in the car, and Johnny says: "Uh, I'm not SURE Spongebob is ready for the NEXT one!" Spongebob sadly says: "I'm fully well aware Sandy and Larry are the NEXT contestants we have to talk about." And General Barracuda looks at Johnny Krill incredulously! Johnny Krill says: "COME ON!!!! I technically didn't even SAY it!" Buhdeuce says: "Well, basically; they only HAVE themselves to BLAME for getting eliminated when they did!" Marlene asks: "Why do you say that?" Buhdeuce gets INCENSED at that comment, and he angrily asks: "WHY?!!! For every time they BELITTLED me! For every time they LAUGHED and called me NAMES behind my back! Do ANY of YOU have ANY idea what THAT feels like to have HAPPEN to you EVERY single DAY of your LIFE?!!!" Spongebob sighs, and sadly says: "Yeah, I do. And on behalf of Sandy, and Larry; I apologize to you. You're a real hard working duck, a true competitor, and a loyal friend to Sway-Sway. You...didn't deserve that treatment from them, and I'm sorry you had to go through that with THEM. I really apologize." Buhdeuce says: "It matters little whether YOU apologize to me; what matters is that Sandy and Larry apologize to me!" Yakkity says: "You mean, 'IF' they EVER apologize to you!" Johnny says: "To be fair, he's NOT wrong about THAT point!" (Confessional) Johnny says: "Because I'm obviously NOT a mind-reader! If I WERE, I would've been ABLE to avoid my elimination early on in this half-season! See how that works?" / Marlene's eyes are wide open, and she says: "WOW! I had no idea Buhdeuce was THAT angst ridden! Maybe I'm not giving Skipper full credence as to why he acts the way he does! I'll at LEAST consider it!" / Yakkity says: "Don't get me wrong; I sure HOPE Sandy and Larry apologize to Buhdeuce, but I can't guarantee they WILL!" / Spongebob says: "Wow! We're not so different, Buhdeuce and I. He's really had to work hard to get to this point, of being good enough for the Final Four. Marlene and I kind of take it for granted. If I don't win, I kind of hope HE does!" / Buhdeuce sighs, and says: "You have NO idea how GOOD it felt, to get all of THAT off of my chest! I feel SO much better now!" (End Confessional)

Johnny says: "There's Wally and Future Adult Rube Goldfish!" Marlene says: "They were the last double elimination, and the last two contestants where we couldn't have done anything about their elimination. They also finished in last place, through no real fault of their own." Spongebob sighs, and says: "At least they were able to leave together. I think they probably PREFERRED to do it that way!" Buhdeuce says: "Do you...think we'll be able to see Future Rube OUTSIDE of episodes in the 'Spongebob Squarepants' universe again?" Yakkity says: "Oh, if we're ALL still around; we'll see Adult Rube Goldfish AGAIN, in about 20 years!" And Johnny Krill plays a rim-shot! (Confessional) Johnny says: "By THAT time, I'll probably have appeared in at LEAST another episode of 'Spongebob Squarepants' if nothing else!" / Marlene says: "I hate to say it, but Buhdeuce was RIGHT; this retrospective is taking TOO long for its own good! At least the first one I went through was KIND of fun!" / Buhdeuce sighs, and says: "FINALLY! Someone admits that I'm RIGHT about SOMETHING! It's about TIME, to!" / Spongebob says: "Speaking of Wally the Rocket Monkey, I kind of wouldn't mind seeing what happened to all my old Sea Monkey friends! I hope they're all living a good life in Plankton's OLD Chum Bucket!" / Yakkity says: "It's nice to have someone who can accentuate your jokes with a good rim-shot! Maybe I'll hire Johnny to do that FOR me once this season is over!" (End Confessional)

Johnny Krill says: "There's Chameleon!" Marlene says: "I think it's sad Chameleon had to leave the competition only one episode after he got to see his relatives. That would be like ME getting eliminated one episode after seeing my mom!" Buhdeuce says: "So? It certainly didn't stop YOU, ME, or anybody else BESIDES Spongebob and Chameleon from voting him off in that Charles Darwin challenge!" Spongebob says: "Although, you DO have to admit, that it's kind of ironic; that the one contestant who has the ability to physically CHANGE his appearance whenever he wants to, was eliminated in an episode all ABOUT change!" Yakkity says: "Even I appreciate the irony of that! Although, I guess that's how often shows of this nature go; contestants often get eliminated when it is the most IRONIC opportunity arises, before it actually happens!" (Confessional) Marlene says: "It's not like I think that Chameleon WOULD'VE been a better candidate to get to the Final Four INSTEAD of me, even if he transformed himself INTO me; it's just that we couldn't very well ignore the fact that the potential of Chameleon being able to transform into ANYONE with any strength and ability he WANTED to have around! So, voting him off was our best viable option for getting to the Final Four!" / Buhdeuce says: "Speaking of CHANGES, I think it would be a NICE change if Nickelodeon would actually ACKNOWLEDGE the existence of MY show along with Yakkity's, and actually include US in any future racing and/or fighting games INVOLVING Nicktoons characters ONCE in a while! Just a thought!" / Spongebob says: "Another thing that I find ironic? The fact that Patrick's dad Cecil, actually seems to be smarter and kind of cooler than Patrick is!...Don't, tell Patrick that I said that!" / Yakkity says: "Actually, come to think of it; since I just got my adult fur, and Buhdeuce finally learned how to fly; it would be PRETTY ironic, and kind of a BUZZKILL, if one of US got eliminated RIGHT at the Final Four! If Buhdeuce gets eliminated, I may need to play on HIS behalf, as well as mine; mostly because it would be good karma which could help me out if I get to the Final Challenge!" (End Confessional)

Spongebob sighs, and says: "There's Bubble Bass, the last former champ to be eliminated this season!" Marlene says: "Technically speaking, he QUIT! And besides, the whole REASON he quit was to spare YOU from HAVING to vote him off!" Buhdeuce says: "Still, I never WOULD'VE guessed that out of all the contestants THIS half-season; Bubble Bass would be the one to win the Goddess Slot!" Johnny says: "Well, that's probably another example of 'Irony' happening there! Of course, it probably helped that he was eliminated in a challenge revolving around a lady who was and kind of is still considered a Goddess!" Yakkity says: "Again, QUIT; not eliminated! At least he helped Snaptrap to not be EVIL anymore, so I'm thankful for THAT!"

(Confessional) Spongebob says: "The one thing I admired most about Bubble Bass, is that he never seems to be too worried about his own image, either physically; or his reputation. Or if he WAS, he certainly never showed it to MY knowledge! It's nice to know that he's happy with who he is, and has a healthy outlook about it!" / Marlene says: "In a way, I'm kind of GLAD Bubble Bass QUIT! First of all, it saves ME the pain and agony of having to explain to Spongebob why I WOULD'VE voted him off! Secondly, as much of a motivator as he was for ME stepping up my OWN game in this half-season; I STILL think I would've found it hard to vote him off, BECAUSE of his personality; which is something I thought I'd NEVER SAY about Bubble Bass!" / Buhdeuce says: "Technically speaking, every single contestant this season was an obstacle for me to get past; but Bubble Bass felt like the BIGGEST! Maybe not physically, but in terms of how HE was able to go from Zero to 60 in just 14 episodes in the last half-season! Sure, I beat Tigress in the tenth episode of THIS half-season, but I don't think I REALLY reached my full potential, until I outlasted Bulma in the 18th episode of this half-season! And outlasting Bubble Bass was the ultimate PROOF of me reaching my full potential! Now, I just have to see if it can get me to the Final Three! I sure HOPE that it can!" / Johnny says: "In the last half-season, when Bubble Bass formed an alliance with me and Tigress, Bubble Bass certainly did his best to keep the peace between Tigress and myself! I didn't handle Tigress' demeaning insults to me very well. I...almost did something that I'm not proud of! But I am glad that Bubble Bass isn't holding THAT fact against me! I sure wish I could've been a contestant longer on THIS half-season, just to see how well MY skills fared against HIS!" / Yakkity says: "It really speaks volumes, about how someone can go from pulling a pickle scam against Spongebob; can eventually grow noble enough to quit his own game in order to motivate Spongebob to get to the end! It just goes to show you that ANYTHING is possible, as long as you believe it is!" (End Confessional)

Buhdeuce says: "There's Po, the Kung Fu Panda! It...seems kind of odd that despite the strengths of both Tigress and Po, they never MAKE it to the Final Three!" Marlene says: "Well, it's precisely because they DO have strength that contestants NEED to vote them OFF! Nobody could realistically stand a CHANCE against them! And I ought to know, having already MANAGED to outlast BOTH of them in season three!" Yakkity says: "The most ironic part about the whole thing, was the fact that Po was ELIMINATED in a challenge revolving all around CHINA! I highly doubt Tigress is going to take THAT fact well!" Spongebob says: "All I know is, the Penalty Votes he accidentally racked against himself, certainly didn't help HIS case any! Besides, the biggest reason he LET himself lose, was because he felt that YOUR need; Yakkity, was FAR more noble than his!" Johnny says: "Technically speaking, Spongebob isn't WRONG; you know!" (Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "Honestly? The only way I think I could LEGITIMATELY beat Po, is if I ate some of that Monster Bread that briefly turned me and Sway-Sway into monsters that one time! But since I didn't have any ON me; helping to vote Po off WITH his penalty votes against him, was my best and ONLY way for advancing in this game!" / Marlene says: "The main reason I was able to outlast Tigress in season three? She THREW her own game because it ALLOWED her to eliminate Taotie WITH her! And I outlasted Po in season three, mainly because he PHYSICALLY punched Zarbon, and Po racked up penalty votes! It's...kind of weird how both times I outlasted Po, was due to HIM racking up penalty votes. But...if it helps me get the win THIS season, I'll take it!" / Yakkity says: "Do and/or HAVE wild tigers EVER eaten yaks before? Personally, I don't know; and I don't WANT to know! That way, I can have plausible deniability when I tell tigers that I am NOT on their menu!" / Spongebob says: "All I know is, when I get the money to have control over MY show, you'll see Patrick, Bubble Bass and I be FAR more noble to Squidward; among other characters, than we have been in the past! It's just our little way of repaying Squidward for all the irritation HE'S had to put up with over the years!" / Johnny sighs, and says: "Realistically speaking, if there was ANY contestant I would've NEVER gotten past; Po probably WOULD'VE been the contestant who eliminated ME before he EVER got eliminated himself! The difference is, unlike Tigress; I can actually ADMIT my defeats!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Last, but not least; there's Dudley Puppy!" Marlene shakes her head and says: "Honestly? If Keswick had been in Dudley's place for the Benjamin Franklin episode, Keswick probably WOULD'VE won!" Buhdeuce says: "I know what you mean. Energy, just doesn't seem to be a strength of Dudley's; the way that it is for Keswick!" Yakkity says: "I think it was kind of weird how it was only in THAT episode, I FINALLY grew my ADULT fur!" Johnny glances weirdly, and he says: "Wait a minute! That's no longer a COAT?! Doesn't THAT mean you're technically...?" Spongebob interrupts and says: "So what if he IS?! I didn't hear any of YOU complain about Kowalski, Private, Monster, Snaptrap, Daggett, Stimpy, Wally, Future Rube, or Bubble Bass! Besides, it probably often gets HOT with all that fur; so I THINK you can cut him a little slack!"

(Confessional) Sniz grabs a tablet, and writes on it! He says: "Note to self: NEVER make a retrospective recapping 42 or more contestants EVER again! You barely have TIME for anything else!" / Marlene says: "Honestly? The fact that some challenges either happen sooner or later, when contestants are or aren't around when it doesn't or WOULD appeal to their strengths; is more of the luck of the draw than anything else! And I ought to know; the last time I lost was mostly BECAUSE I was unlucky to have Bulma as an antagonistic contestant who wanted SKIPPER out, but targeted ME instead when I wouldn't just LET her!" / Buhdeuce says: "Honestly? I feel like the only eliminations that were emotionally hard from me BESIDES losing Sway-Sway, and mentally hard like eliminating Tigress; were eliminating Dog, Larry, Chameleon, Po, and Dudley! Mostly because, they were ALL contestants that managed to outlast ME in season three! So far, there remains only two contestants I have yet to outlast; Spongebob and Marlene! It definitely won't be easy, but I'm determined to give it everything I can, to get to the Final Three!" / Yakkity says: "Look; me being in JUST my adult fur would hardly be the WEIRDEST thing in my life! I know a talking pineapple, and I'm best friends with his anthropomorphic pineapple son!...Please, don't ask me how THAT works!" / Johnny says: "Look, so much stuff has HAPPENED this season; it's HARD for me to keep track of it all without REVIEWING it, since I wasn't even around as a contestant or an intern for some of it!" / Spongebob says: "I mean, even Plankton and the Sea Monkeys run around without wearing clothes; so it's certainly not a big deal to me!" (End Confessional) Sniz sighs in relief, and he says: "And FINALLY, mercifully; we are done with the Retrospective! Johnny, please turn off the treadmill!" Johnny says: "With pleasure!" And Johnny turns off the treadmill, and Sniz slows the car to a stop! Sniz looks at his watch, and he says: "Just as I feared, we don't even have time to do a Temple Run! But since we've GOT to do a challenge that revolves around Henry Ford and automobiles, we WILL be able to do at least ONE challenge from the Challenge Arena, and I THINK you will all be pleasantly SURPRISED by it! Follow me!" /

The four remaining contestants go to the Challenge Arena, to find a big racing track dominating the area! Sniz says: "Welcome to the Race Course! Our biggest, and most exciting challenge yet! Racing around a racetrack in racing cars!" Marlene sarcastically says: "Yeah, REAL original! I especially liked it when we FIRST did it back in season two for that episode that felt like it took FOREVER, much like THIS one!" Buhdeuce says: "IGNORE HER!!" Sniz says: "Noted, moving on! The object of this race course is simple, but NOT easy! You will have to complete three laps, while dodging ALL of the various obstacles that this season has thrown at you so far! Along the way, you will all have to pick up some of the legends that have NEVER been collected this season! The Broken Shackles of Harriet Tubman, The Lasso of Wyatt Earp, Blackbeard's Jolly Roger Flag, The Lost Fountain Pen of Mark Twain, The Lost Teacup of Lewis Carroll, The Lost Head Dress of Cleopatra, and The Lucky Pocket Watch of Henry Ford!" Yakkity says: "Two problems; first, how can you have MORE than one of the Legends for us to collect at the same time?! They're supposed to be...LEGENDS! Second; how are we supposed to drive AND collect these items? This isn't like a 'Mario Kart' game, you know!" General Barracuda says: "In the first case, it's because of...SHUT UP!!!! Do the words 'Fairy Godparents who can grant ANY wish' ring any bells?!" Sniz says: "And for the second case, we already took care of that problem a long TIME ago! I'm not sure if any of YOU remember, but before you came on this season; you were asked to write down the names of SOMEONE you would like to be partnered with you IF they were eliminated before YOU were! And since you're all here, it's time to RE-INTRODUCE them back to you! For Spongebob Squarepants, a squirrel, his wife, a scientist, and a really good karate fighter, give it up for Sandy Cheeks!"

And Sandy jumps back into the arena, and Sandy says: "Howdy, y'all! Did you miss me?!" Spongebob says: "You bet I did! I'm so GLAD you're going to be helping me!" Sandy says: "I won't be able to win the money myself, but I can really help YOU win it!" Spongebob says: "Thank you, Sandy! I won't let you down!" (Confessional) Marlene sputters, and she says: "Well, how was I SUPPOSED to know Sniz would bring back someone to help US compete in these last few challenges?! I'm not a MIND reader, you know! At least I had the foresight to pick someone REALLY good!" / Spongebob says: "Come on! I HAD to pick Sandy! If for no other reason BESIDES she is my wife, she will probably be the biggest and best vocal champion for me in these final challenges!" / Sandy chuckles, and she says: "I got a spin-off movie coming up! I got to get some practice in SOMEHOW!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "For Marlene Otter, a fish, a former champ, an aspiring hero, and a man who only averages FIVE wrong questions per round of 'Jeopardy', give it up for Bubble Bass!" And Bubble Bass floats in, with his bubbles to safely float him down! Bubble Bass says: "I'm SURPRISED you asked for ME back, Marlene! I didn't think I was YOUR type of contestant!" Marlene scoffs, and she says: "Well, I certainly wasn't going to ASK Kowalski or Private to be MY choice! They have WAY too much of Skipper's influence on them!" Spongebob, utterly stunned, asks: "MARLENE; you chose BUBBLE BASS to help YOU in these Final Challenges?!" Johnny Krill says: "Absolutely NOTHING in the Rule Books prevent her from doing that; it SAYS you can pick ANYBODY, regardless of what show they came from!" Bubble Bass says: "And while you know it's nothing personal, and I get nothing from it; I do plan on helping Marlene to the BEST of my abilities!" And Spongebob gulps nervously!

(Confessional) Spongebob says: "Why did MARLENE have to pick Bubble Bass?! I mean, BESIDES the fact that he was an ACTUAL former champ?! He's one of MY friends! How can I compete against ONE of my friends?! It's like those STUPID Fry Cook Games ALL over again! I wonder how come I've never competed in another one of those? I'm overdue, if you ask me!" / Marlene looks at the camera, rolls her eyes, and says: "COME ON! If you had the opportunity to do so, you would've picked a former champ to! While I'm certainly no slouch in the BRAINS department, having Bubble Bass' intellect to bounce off of is purely a safety guard, just in case Buhdeuce gets eliminated before the Final Three!" / Bubble Bass says: "I'm actually SURPRISED that Marlene wanted ME, more than Spongebob did! But, his loss might be Marlene's gain! It all depends on how much Marlene wants to win! And given HER determination, I reckon it's probably pretty healthy!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "For Buhdeuce, a duck, a fellow Breadwinner, a frog owner, and a man who flies a rocket van like nobody else can, give it up for Sway-Sway!" And right on cue, Sway-Sway comes flying IN his rocket van; lands it, and jumps out of the door to greet Buhdeuce! Sway-Sway says: "Buhdeuce! I am BACK in the game!" Johnny says: "It's only to HELP Buhdeuce win; you can't win yourself!" Sway-Sway says: "Irrelevant! The point is, I've been away from Buhdeuce for FAR longer than I wanted to be!" Buhdeuce says: "I know what you mean! I was wondering when I'd be able to show you MY ability to fly!" Sway-Sway says: "That's nice...WAIT!!!! You...can...fly?! Since WHEN?!" Buhdeuce awkwardly says: "Since just this morning? What's the matter? Surely YOU'VE been able to fly for a long time?" And a few moments of silence, with crickets audibly chirping, passes. Bubble Bass says: "Well, this just got...AWKWARD!!!!" Marlene says: "42 other contestants you could've picked, and you picked Sway-Sway?! He got ELIMINATED before the first Performance Review of this half-season!" Buhdeuce says: "He's my BEST bro! I always have his back! The way he always has MINE! My ability to FLY isn't going to change any of that!"

(Confessional) Sway-Sway nervously says: "How has BUHDEUCE gained the ability to fly when I HAVEN'T?!!! I was BORN a Breadwinner! My PARENTS were Breadwinners! My Breadwinner lineage goes all the way back to Umpteenth Great Grandpa BARE! What if OONSKI finds out about THIS?! He'd NEVER let ME live it down!" / Buhdeuce says: "How could SWAY-SWAY not have the ability to fly? Have I...actually SURPASSED his own abilities? I...never thought that could happen! I...suddenly don't feel as confidant about MY ability to win as I did before!" / Bubble Bass says: "It just goes to show you, that you should NEVER assume someone is able to DO something, unless you ASK whether or not they can do it FIRST!" / Marlene says: "I guess there really IS no accounting for taste as far as SOME guys are concerned!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Last, but not least; for Yakkity Yak, a lady, an inventor, a mother, and a person who has an intellect that BARELY fits into THIS studio, give it up for the one and only Bulma Briefs!" And Bulma sultry walks in, and a bunch of the guys in the audience wolf-whistle and applaud her arrival! Bulma air fist-pumps as she says: "YES!!!! I've STILL got it!" Marlene asks: "Yakkity, how on Earth were YOU smart enough to pick Bulma Briefs BEFORE you really met her?!" Yakkity says: "Well, why do you think I WANTED to be friends with her so much?! Even before coming on here, I knew her intelligence was pretty much unmatched by anyone else here; and I wanted Bulma to know that I understood that! Besides, I felt BAD about the fact I played a part in eliminating her! Keeping MY word by letting her help me, is the LEAST I can do to make it up to her!" Bulma says: "And don't worry your pretty little heads; I won't USE my ENTIRE intellect against you, it would make the game WAY too easy! And no fun for me! Besides, I think it would make the game VERY interesting, for ME!"

(Confessional) Marlene says: "Okay! Yakkity becoming friends with Bulma FINALLY makes a lot more sense! Good thing I picked Bubble Bass!" / Spongebob says: "I guess it's a good thing I picked Sandy! I'll definitely need HER intellect against Bulma's!" / Yakkity says: "I mostly wanted Bulma to be my friend, because I thought it would be my best chance to get closer to the Final Three! I never thought she'd become my friend for REAL; let alone sacrifice her own game to PROVE that point to me! Having her help me is STILL the best way I have for getting to the Final Three!" / Bulma says: "This will be QUITE interesting! I've never played a part in the Final Three before! Bubble Bass MIGHT have gotten the Goddess slot, but I could very well play a part in determining the WINNER!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Okay! You all have your partners, so here's how the race will work! Your partners will control your vehicle, while you each pick up one copy of the uncollected legends along the way! Oh, and DON'T get any funny ideas about trying to collect more than one copy! You will be magically shocked if you TRY it! The three laps are opportunities for you to collect these objects! If you can come in first, with at least one of each uncollected legend, you WILL win immunity, and advance to the Final Three! Otherwise, everyone else runs the risk of being voted off; so no pressure! Actually, make that a LOT of pressure!" Buhdeuce nervously asks: "Sway-Sway, we're cool about everything still; right?! RIGHT?!!!" Sway-Sway hollowly says: "Mommy?" Marlene says: "Personally speaking, I've seen manlier men TRYING on women's shoes!" Bubble Bass says: "You said it!" Sniz says: "Everyone, pick a car; any car!" Marlene says: "I call the Green one!" Spongebob says: "I pick the Blue one!" Yakkity says: "I get the Red one!" Buhdeuce says: "And WE get the Rocket Van! Come on, Sway-Sway!" Buhdeuce grabs Sway-Sway's hand, but it just slips RIGHT out of Buhdeuce's grasp! Buhdeuce grabs Sway-Sway's arm, and physically DRAGGING him; Buhdeuce says: "Sway-Sway, come ON!!!!" And everyone gets into positions! Johnny Krill says: "For immunity and entry into the Final Three, everybody START your engines! And to get you in the right mood, we'll be playing Tom Petty's song 'Love Is A Long Road'!" And everybody gets ready, except for Sway-Sway; who's STILL in total shock!

Buhdeuce groans and says: "Oh, why do you pick NOW to have a 'Heroic B.S.O.D.?!" And Buhdeuce starts the engine for Sway-Sway! Sniz says: "On your marks, get SET; GO!!!!" / During the racing challenge, while everyone else is having an easy time of either driving, or collecting the uncollected legends, Buhdeuce is having a hard time BOTH driving and trying to grab the legends, since Sway-Sway remains COMPLETELY unresponsive! / Tom Petty sings: "There was a girl I knew, she said she cared about me! She tried to make my world, the way she thought it should be! Yeah, we were desperate then, to have each other to hold! But love is a long, long road! Yeah, love is a long, long road! There were so many times, I would wake up at noon. Yeah, with my head spinning 'round; I would wait for the moon. And give her one more chance, to try and save my soul! But love is a long, long road! Yeah, love is a long, long road! (Instrumental Solo) Yeah, it was hard to give up; some things are hard to let go. Some things are never enough! I guess I only can hope, for maybe one more chance; to try and save my soul! But love is a long, long road. Yeah, love is a long, long road! Love is a long, long road! Yeah, love is long, long road, oh! Love. Oh, it's a long, long road! Love." And the song ends as all the contestants enter their third and final lap! / Buhdeuce says: "Come ON; Sway-Sway, snap OUT of it! I've only been able to collect THREE of these legends trying to also DRIVE by myself! If you DON'T snap out of it, I can't WIN if I have to slow down to collect these objects! What is YOUR problem?!" Sway-Sway finally SNAPS and yells: "Do you really want to know MY problem?! The problem is, I was born into a family that had GENERATIONS of Breadwinner abilities to my family name! I was always told that one day, by being GOOD enough; I would FINALLY earn my Breadwinner wings, and be able to fly like JENNY is able to! Than YOU; having no Breadwinner experience in YOUR family whatsoever, gets YOUR Breadwinner wings in only 27 episodes of this challenge despite the fact that I've been trying like CRAZY all my LIFE!!!!" Buhdeuce says: "But I thought it would make you HAPPY, all this winning that I've been able to do! And besides, I did it for YOU! The only reason I've ever done ANYTHING this season was in order to impress YOU!" Sway-Sway angrily says: "Maybe I don't want to BE impressed!"

And Sway-Sway ANGRILY kicks Buhdeuce out of the Rocket Van! But as Buhdeuce recovers, he sees that Sway-Sway is NOT really paying attention due to his anger, and is heading RIGHT for a TALL Palm Tree near the end of the finish line, and the ENTIRE studio audience, INCLUDING General Barracuda; runs OUT of the studio! Buhdeuce, in futility, screams: "Sway-Sway; watch out for THAT...!!" (GIGANTIC EXPLOSIVE BOOM!!!!) And an atomic-sized cloud erupts from the explosion of the Rocket Van, as it blows apart the ENTIRE studio, with the exception of Olmec and his temple; to smithereens! Buhdeuce weakly says: "...tree." As soon as the smoke clears, Buhdeuce and the others rush to where the Rocket Van exploded, to find a charred Sway-Sway, who has lost ALL of his hair and feathers, and EVERYTHING but his shorts! Buhdeuce asks: "Sway-Sway, are you okay?" Sway-Sway rhetorically asks: "Does it LOOK like I'm OKAY?!!!" Sniz cries, and yells: "Buhdeuce, look what YOU and YOUR partner have DONE to this STUDIO!!!! It's RUINED!!!!" Buhdeuce says: "But HE didn't mean it, REALLY!!!!" Sniz yells: "That's NOT the POINT!!!! The point IS, he damaged VALUABLE property, resources, and RECKLESSLY endangered the lives of EVERYONE at this studio! At this point, it doesn't matter WHO would have won the challenge; you are BOTH disqualified, Buhdeuce, YOU are ELIMINATED; and you WILL pay back the balance of EVERYTHING we'll need to FIX this studio during the next Performance Review!" Buhdeuce nervously says: "Okay, no problem! I mean, I AM getting $40 Million for coming in 4th place! How much do we owe you to repair this damage?" Sniz grabs a calculator, and he says: "Well, this studio was originally built in 1993, and NEEDS constant maintenance to keep our legends safe! Judging by inflation, and compounded rate of interest; to build this studio back to pristine conditions; you owe us..."

Than Sniz LOSES it and YELLS: "$35.6 Million dollars!" Johnny Krill adds: "And twenty-five cents!" Marlene says: "OUCH!!!! That leaves Buhdeuce with only as much money as I earned when I won third place on season two!" Sniz looks at the wreckage of the studio, and he begins breaking down, and cries! Sniz says: "Normally, this would be the part of the episode where we would send the eliminated contestant out of here, EXCEPT WE HAVE NO MINE CART OF SHAME OR MINE SHAFT OF LOSERS to DO IT WITH! So, we'll get everything fixed here. I promise everything will be set right; I just don't know WHEN! So, please stay for the last Performance Review of this half-season, and hopefully; we'll have everything up and running for the Final two challenges of Total Cartoon Legends! THE HUMANITY!!!! OH, THE HUMANITY!!!!" And Olmec adds: "Where it's ALWAYS important to buckle up for safety!" / Stinger: At the Performance Review Studio, Eliza and Norbert are SURPRISED to see Captain Retro arrive! Norbert says: "Captain Retro, you've come BACK?!" Captain Retro says: "Mostly for this Performance Review and the last two challenges! I don't like to say this but...my 'Significance Sense' was tingling, and it told me that The Real Breadwinners; Monster and Heffer, might need some help in the immediate future!" Eliza says: "Well, they might. Sway-Sway DID leave to help Buhdeuce with the last few challenges. So the Real Breadwinners ARE going to need a replacement singer in the meantime!" Than Norbert suddenly gets NERVOUS, and he says: "Do you EVER get the feeling that something super BAD was about to HAPPEN?!!!" And at that moment, everyone FEELS the GIGANTIC EXPLOSIVE BOOM from Sway-Sway's Rocket Van hitting and exploding, from what is revealed to only be a few miles away from where THEY are! Eliza looks at the gigantic mushroom cloud, and she says: "Holy MOTHER of Darwin! Do you have ANY idea what CAUSED that?!" Captain Retro nods sadly, and he says: "Yes, I do! Jealousy is a very terrible thing, especially amongst best bros like Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce!" Norbert nervously says: "I sure hope Sniz's Insurance Policy covers THAT!" /

Episode Notes: Sway-Sway, Bulma, Sandy, and Bubble Bass, come back in this episode to help Buhdeuce, Yakkity, Spongebob, and Marlene in the final challenges respectively. Featured songs in this episode; Steppenwolf's "Born To Be Wild", and Tom Petty's "Love Is a Long Road". Sniz automatically disqualifies and eliminates Buhdeuce, due to his partner Sway-Sway, blowing up MOST of the studio by crashing his rocket van; forcing Buhdeuce to give up $35.6 Million and twenty-five cents of his $40 million; to pay to repair the damages. Eliminated Contestants: 46. Kowalski. 45. Private. 44. Kaput. 43. Johnny Krill. 42. Haggis McHaggis. 41. Monster Krumholtz. 40. Aang. 39. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 38. Darwin. 37. Heffer Wolfe. 36. Judy Funny. 35. Sway-Sway. 34. Invader Zim. 33. Gonard. 32. Blonda. 31. Squidward Tentacles. 30. Dora the Explorer. 29. Tigress. 28. Otto Rocket. 27. Dog. 26. Zarbon. 25. Super Chum. 24. Kitty Katswell. 23. Jenny Wakeman. 22. Treeflower Fields. 21. Gerald. 20. Fee. 19. Harvey Beaks. 18. Daggett Beaver. 17. Pearl Krabs Barracuda. 16. Bulma Briefs. 15. Keswick. 14. Taotie. 13. Stimpy J. Cat. 12. Sandy Cheeks. 11. Larry The Lobster. 10. Wally. 9. Future Adult Rube Goldfish. 8. Chameleon. 7. Bubble Bass. 6. Po. 5. Dudley Puppy. 4. Buhdeuce. The Final Three: Spongebob Squarepants ("Spongebob Squarepants"). Marlene Otter ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"). Yakkity Yak, ("Yakkity Yak"). /

Personal Notes: Part of what took the final part of this episode so long to write, was trying to figure out whether Yakkity or Buhdeuce would be the better character to take to the Final Three with Spongebob and Marlene. Ultimately, it came down to what would be the most shocking thing to HAVE happen; actually happen! Yakkity losing wouldn't be that shocking, as he had no one else from HIS series competing with him, and there wasn't much for him to lose by losing. Buhdeuce on the other hand; had to deal with the stigma of having BEEN on "The Breadwinners", finally GAIN some self-confidence by beating Tigress among other things this season; and when he EARNED his Breadwinner wings, unintentionally cause Sway-Sway to FREAK out when Buhdeuce had learned to fly, and he hadn't! Unfortunately, jealousy turned out to be the thing that was both Sway-Sway, and Buhdeuce's WORST enemy, as it LITERALLY blew all of Buhdeuce's chances of getting to the Final Three sky high! Now, only three contestants remain; and it is now ANYONE'S game to win or lose, as we enter the Semi-Final rounds of "Total Cartoon Legends"! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

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Sorry for the delay (as usual), but I wanted to submit one more episode of "Total Cartoon Legends" before I go on vacation this week. I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did writing it! / The "Total Cartoon Legends Performance Review" sequence starts off as normal, but midway through the sequence, it gets cut off, and replaced with a music video, credited with being performed by "Captain Retro With The Real Breadwinners", and playing a song called, "We Didn't Start The Fire, Part II" (set to the same tune as the original one). / During the music video, as it shows Captain Retro being born and growing up, the technology changes onscreen to show the changes that happens within each year (for instance, the TV shown gradually gets bigger, turning from a two dial 13 inch with antennas, to a 54 inch HDTV), as it is mentioned. The years themselves are not sung, and are merely there for reference. /

Captain Retro sings: "(1985) Ronald Reagan, Mr.T, Gorbachev, U.S.A. For Africa, Nintendo and NES, Live Aid, New Coke, You Can't Do That On Television, Jeopardy, The Breakfast Club, Back To The Future, Danger Mouse, Super Mario Bros.; (1986) Challenger Explodes, Janet Jackson, Genesis, Aliens, Platoon, The Legend of Zelda, Alf, Cheronobyl, Double Dare, An American Tail.; (1987) Michael Jackson, U2, INXS, Pee-Wee's Playhouse, Prince, Donald Trump, George Michael, Wall Street, Full Metal Jacket, Moonstruck, Mega Man, Garfield And Friends, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Metroid; (1988) Who Framed Roger Rabbit, George Bush, Guns N' Roses, Rain Man, Super Mario Bros. 2, Paula Abdul, Nintendo Power debuts. We didn't start the fire, it was always burning since the world's been turning. We didn't start the fire. No, we didn't light it, but we're trying to fight it. (1989) Madonna, Game Boy, Pete Rose Scandal, Loma Prieta Earthqauke, Exxon Valdez, Berlin Wall falls, Field Of Dreams, Batman, Tom Petty, Do The Right Thing, The Little Mermaid. (1990) Jetsons The Movie, Tremors, Don Henley, Mariah Carey, The Simpsons, Captain Planet, Dances With Wolves, Super Mario Bros. 3, Tiny Toon Adventures, Final Fantasy. (1991) Beauty And The Beast, Ren & Stimpy, Chicago's got a winning team, Doug, Rugrats, Silence Of The Lambs, Nick Arcade, Nickelodeon GUTS, Sega Genesis, Super NES, Kuwait, Soviet Union Falls, Boris Yeltsin, Super Mario World. (1992) Aladdin, No Rain, Street Fighter II, Metallica, Nirvana, Weird Al Yankovic, A Few Good Men, The Legend of Zelda: a Link to the Past, Bill Clinton, Seinfeld. We didn't start the fire, it was always burning since the world's been turning. We didn't start the fire. No, we didn't light it, but we're trying to fight it. (1993) Star Fox, Jurassic Park, Crystal Pepsi, The Fugitive, Rocko's Modern Life, Trouble In Waco, Janet Reno, Mighty Morphing Power Rangers, Animaniacs, Legends Of The Hidden Temple, Secret Of Mana, The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening. (1994) Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Lisa Marie Presley, All That, Earthworm Jim, Super Metroid, Donkey Kong Country, Final Fantasy III, Video Game Ratings.

(1995) Playstation, Earthbound, Chrono Trigger, Unabomber, Oklahoma City, Pocahontas, Toy Story, Virtual Boy's a no go. (1996) James And The Giant Peach, Independence Day, Space Jam, Kablam, Super Mario R.P.G., Hey Arnold, Alanis Morrissette, Spice Girls, Nintendo 64. We didn't start the fire. It was always burning, since the world's been turning. We didn't start the fire. No, we didn't light it, but we're trying to fight it. (1997) Anastasia, Star Wars is back, Dora The Explorer, Hercules, Men In Black, Angry Beavers, Titanic, Mario Kart 64, Figure It Out, Backstreet Boys, Star Fox 64. (1998) Monica Lewinsky, Mulan, Antz, A Bug's Life, The Powerpuff Girls, Pokemon, Game Boy Color, Catdog, Dragonball Z, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. (1999) Mario Party, Super Smash Bros., Spongebob Squarepants, Rocket Power, The Wild Thornberries, Oh Yeah Cartoons, Toy Story 2, The Matrix, N-Sync, Vladimir Putin, Y2K A-OK! What else do I have to say?! We didn't start the fire. It was always burning since the world's been turning. We didn't start the fire. No, we didn't light it, but we're trying to fight it.

(2000-2022) Elian Gonzales, Britney Spears, Yakkity Yak, Invader Zim, Survivor, The Legend Of Zelda: Majora's Mask, Sheep In The Big City, George W. Bush, Game Boy Advance, Sega Dreamcast fails, Twin Towers fall, Nintendo Gamecube, Monster's Inc., Harry Potter, Jimmy Neutron, Super Smash Bros. Melee, Ice Age, Michael Moore, Bill Maher, My Life As A Teenage Robot, American Idol, Kaput & Zosky, The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, Finding Nemo, Return of The King, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is back again, Wardrobe Malfunction, Nintendo DS, The Incredibles, Camp Lazlo, Madagascar, Catscratch, Hurricane Katrina, Chicken Little, Kappa Mikey, Cars, Scooter Libby, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Nintendo Wii, Yin Yang Yo, Scaredy Squirrel, Super Mario Galaxy, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Single Ladies, Kung Fu Panda. Begin Barack Obama, Up, Michael Jackson dies, Avatar, TUFF Puppy, Jimmy Two Shoes, Rocket Monkeys, Toy Story 3, Megamind, Despicable Me, Netflix, Nintendo 3DS, Marvel's Avengers, Fanboy & Chum-Chum, Sanjay & Craig, Bojack Horseman, Super Smash Bros. 4, Breadwinners, 2016 Election, Nintendo Switch, Harvey Beaks, Undertale, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, Cuphead, Kamp Koral, Joe Biden wins, January 6 Insurrection, The Patrick Star Show, England's got a New King, Elon Musk buys Twitter; Rock & Roll or Console Wars, I can't take it anymore! We didn't start the fire. It was always burning, since the world's been turning. We didn't start the fire. But when we are gone, it will still burn on and on, and on, and on, and on, and on. We didn't start the fire! It was always burning since the world's been turning. We didn't start the fire! No, we didn't light it, but we're trying to fight it! We didn't start the fire! It was always burning since the world's been turning! We didn't start the fire! No, we didn't light it, but we're trying to fight it!" /

"Performance Review: Legend Of The Finalists" / And the music video ends, and it pans out to show that it was being shown on a super-sized screen in the "Performance Review" studio room, with Norbert and Eliza present, and presenting. Norbert claps loudly, and he says: "A wonderful music video that we just saw by Captain Retro with The Real Breadwinners...well, TWO of them at least; backing him up!" Eliza says: "We know that it's a bit unprecedented, and unexpected; but due to events that have happened since our LAST Performance Review, we felt it was kind of necessary!" Kaput says: "You're talking about the big BLOW-OUT that just happened, aren't you?!" Tigress scoffs, and she says: "As IF it could POSSIBLY be anything else!" Norbert says: "Well, yeah; obviously!" Eliza says: "But before we get to that, we have to talk about the contestants who've been eliminated since the last Performance Review, MOST of whom are with us now!" Keswick asks: "Why do you say it like that?" Norbert says: "Well, Future Adult Rube Goldfish had to go back to his own time. For all we know, he may be only just NOW watching this for what is HIS first time, and getting to see how well he performed, among other things." Eliza says: "And Buhdeuce is too busy, dealing with having to help Sniz with the repairs needed to fix the studio that Sway-Sway inadvertently wrecked, and tending to the injuries that Sway-Sway suffered." Norbert says: "But for everyone else, here is what we've got!" / And clips of the previously eliminated contestants begin getting shown! Eliza says: "From Rocket Monkeys, it's Wally!" Daggett says: "Or as he LIKES to be called, Admiral Wally; his Smartness!" Fee says: "Smarter than YOU could ever be, THAT'S for sure!" Bulma says: "BURN!!!!" Norbert says: "From TUFF Puppy, Chameleon AND Dudley Puppy!" Eliza says: "From Spongebob Squarepants, former champion Bubble Bass!" Pearl asks: "I wonder when he will EVER stop talking about it?" Sandy says: "Oh, probably on the 12th of...NEVER!!!!" Norbert says: "And from Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness; Po!!!!"

And Tigress' face blanches into emotionless, and with dissonant serenity, she calmly walks to Treeflower, and Tigress whispers into Treeflower's left ear, and Treeflower screams: "Po did WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Taotie groans, and he says: "Saw THAT one coming from a MILE away, even without any access to whatever mystical scrolls the Furious Five have!" Gerald says: "You SAID it!" Monster says: "It's not like Tigress can realistically DO anything about it! She IS pregnant, you know!" Tigress groans, and she says: "Hoist by my OWN petard! The ONE petard I thought could NEVER hoist me!" Eliza says: "Anyways, now that we can recover from NEARLY becoming DEAF; it's time to reveal our FIRST surprise of the evening!" Norbert says: "Whether it's magic or merely a mundane reason, Captain Retro is here PERSONALLY, and is here to help us out! So, give it up for Captain Retro!" And Captain Retro flies onstage, and Super Chum asks: "What?! No song?" Captain Retro says: "I'm trying to NOT be THAT predictable anymore, I found out the HARD way that most people don't like it! Besides, I REFUSE to be a robot! No offense to Jenny!" Eliza says: "Anyways, we were all wondering why YOU didn't sign up to be on this season?" Captain Retro sighs, and he says: "Well, I always felt like maybe I was part of the reason why Total Cartoon Global Cruise wasn't as well-liked as I hoped it would be. Maybe I was TRYING too hard, or trying too hard to make what I thought would be a great season; without any thought as to what other people might want. I...let my ego get the better of me during that season, and it was only when Marlene finally STOPPED pretending to be infatuated with me, that I was able to snap back to reality, and let go of my ego. But...I guess it's TRUE what they say; hindsight is always 20-20, even for someone like me." Norbert says: "But you're clearly smarter NOW than you were THAN; wouldn't have been a contestant on THIS season worked out better?"

Captain Retro says: "Maybe, but I felt like there were already ENOUGH contestants THIS season without ME throwing my metaphorical hat into the mix! Besides, all of the contestants PROVED that they had this season under control, and they probably never NEEDED my help! At the very least, they didn't need my help THIS season!" Eliza says: "Anyways, are you up for helping us?" Captain Retro says: "Well, seeing as how the lead singer of The Real Breadwinners is otherwise...in disposed, at the moment; I suppose I must take it upon myself to sing whatever songs The Real Breadwinners feel like playing!" Norbert says: "Anyways, it's time to talk to our first eliminated contestant for tonight!" Eliza says: "While he may not be THE Missing Link between human's and primates, he's definitely proved that when it comes to evolution; he's NO monkey's uncle! At least, not yet!" Norbert says: "Give it up for Wally, the Rocket Monkey!" And Wally rockets in on a jet-pack, doing several loops around the contestants, and Tigress says: "He better not come anywhere NEAR my face!" Zarbon says: "Or MINE! But thankfully, I think that's the last thing on HIS mind!" And Wally finally settles down, and turns his jet-pack off, as he takes a seat on the couch! Wally says: "So, what kind of truth game do you have for us THIS time?!" And Eliza looks taken aback, and she says: "Well...truth be told; we were completely taken off guard by the explosion caused by Sway-Sway's Rocket Van crashing, and due to Sniz needing the resources to rebuild the studio that Sway-Sway wrecked; the only Truth game we're able to have THIS time is...Truth or Water!" / A picture of the blindfolded Statue of Justice is shown, until it gets swept away by a torrent of water! / Captain Retro says: "Wow! Another You Can't Do That On Television reference! If THAT isn't retro, I don't know WHAT is!" Norbert says: "You know the drill, if you lie; if you somehow mention...H2O; OR if we need a good laugh; you will be doused with a BUCKET of it!" Wally scoffs, and he says: "You're KIDDING about ME lying, RIGHT?! Do you have ANY idea of the types of dangers Gus, Yay-Ok and I have had to face on our journeys throughout space?! This will be a PICNIC in comparison!" And Heffer expects something to happen, but nothing does!

Heffer says: "Well, I guess that MUST be true! He DIDN'T get hit by any WATER!" (SPLASH!!!!) Eliza says: "Oh, did we forget to mention? The rule applies to all BENCHED former contestants as well!" Harvey says: "NOW she tells you!" Norbert says: "Tell us, is Future Adult Rube Goldfish really as wonderful as we all think he is?" Blonda's voice comes from off-screen, and she says: "He BETTER be; as his mother, I expect NOTHING but the BEST from him! Or at least, a REASONABLE amount of it!" Squidward's voice comes from off-screen, and he asks: "Is THAT what you're calling it now?!" Eliza says: "What an unexpected surprise! I guess they must have had a BREAK in touring! Finally gracing us with their personal presence, give it up for Blonda and Squidward Tentacles!" They walk on-screen, and in the audience, several women cheer and actually throw thorn-less roses at him! Squidward says: "They LIKE me, they REALLY like me!" Blonda says: "I remember when I first coached Sally Field to say THAT originally! So, where's OUR questions?" Norbert says: "You already HAD your questions when we did that Zoom interview with the two of you! Besides, it's a half-hour show; and we can't spend our time talking with YOU the way you WANT us to!" Dog says: "Tell it like it is, Norbert!" Squidward says: "I'm just wondering why Nickelodeon is fooling around with Spongebob Squarepants schedule? That show, and to a lesser extent, Kamp Koral and The Patrick Star Show; are STILL Nickelodeon's prime source of income!" Eliza says: "Dang it if I know! I obviously have NO vote in how Nickelodeon does THEIR scheduling! If I did, I'd be showing NEW adventures around the world with NEW animals!" Captain Retro says: "And I don't dispense any future information for just ANY reason anymore! Been there, tried that; I'm NOT going through THAT criticism again!" Blonda groans, and she says: "Fine! I can't believe we took a BREAK from touring, and I didn't even get to see Future Rube before he went back to his own time!" Squidward says: "At least you get to see Infant Rube and your husband again!" Blonda says: "True. I HAVE missed having THEM around! Let's grab us a seat!"

And Blonda flies to the top, while Squidward takes a seat near the bottom with his fellow eliminated contestants from "Spongebob Squarepants". Squidward asks: "Wait a minute; where IS Spongebob, anyways?!" Larry says: "Spongebob is STILL in the game!" Stimpy says: "And before you ask, he is NOT kidding!" Tigress' face blanches again, and with dissonant serenity, she walks to Squidward; whispers to him, and Squidward yells: "When did FREAKING SPONGEBOB LOSERPANTS BECOME SO COMPETENT?!" Super Chum is shocked, and he says: "Squidward!" Squidward defensively says: "WHAT?! HER words; not mine!" Darwin says: "Doesn't MEAN that YOU have to say them!" Snaptrap, from off-screen says: "And I, most certainly AGREE!!!!" Norbert says: "Wow! The surprises just DON'T stop coming! I thought he'd NEVER show up, but I guess Verminious J. Snaptrap has FINALLY decided to grace us with HIS presence!" And Snaptrap walks in looking happy, as he's no longer wearing the clothes that forced him to be evil! Keswick THINKS about it, and he says: "I think he looks BETTER without the Mad Scientist garb!" Eliza says: "So, what made YOU finally decide to grace us with YOUR presence?" Snaptrap says: "Well, now that Anti-Cosmo is no longer able to make me evil and crazy; I realize that the whole reason no of my plans to take over Petropolis, or WHATEVER insane plan I have had in the past; never worked, is because I never had the ability to think my plans through rationally! But now that I can think clearly, I'm able to see that what I thought was evil and cool; was really just crazy and DUMB! A crazy plan, is NOT better than no plan; especially if you don't know what to do NEXT! If you think about the consequences of any actions you THINK you want to do; if the potential reward is NOT greater than the potential risk, than it's not worth doing!" Norbert says: "Words to live by, Snaptrap!" Eliza says: "I heard that you are responsible for Dora STILL being grounded at her parent's house!" Snaptrap says: "Well, yeah! I HAD to tell on her parents! Legally, she's ONLY 15! And her parent's STILL have legal custody over her, no matter HOW rich she is!"

Wally looks dumb-founded, and he says: "Wow! I thought you two were SUPPOSED to be interviewing me?!" Norbert says: "Sorry! We got distracted by these unexpected guests! Snaptrap, we're going to have to cut talking to you short! Is there anyone you want to win?" Snaptrap says: "I really don't have any stake in the outcome, but I guess I'd like Yakkity to win; just because it would be the most unexpected outcome!" Eliza says: "Well, it WOULD be pretty unexpected! Please take a seat!" And Snaptrap takes a seat right by Keswick! Snaptrap says: "Don't worry, Keswick! I don't bite anymore!" Keswick says: "Yeah, but I think that Kitty STILL does!" Norbert says: "Wally, same question. Is there anyone you want to win?" Wally says: "It's got to be Spongebob Squarepants! If Future Rube vouches for him, than that's good enough for me! I'm going to root for Spongebob!" Eliza says: "Well, stranger things HAVE happened in just this half-season! Go ahead and take a seat!" And Wally takes a seat up with Darwin! Darwin asks: "You WANT to sit with ME?!" Wally says: "Hey! Us primates have to stick together, don't we?!" Darwin says: "I have NEVER felt more loved than I am now, excluding Eliza; of course!" Norbert says: "We've got to take a break, but when we come back; we will interview Chameleon, Bubble Bass, Po, and Dudley Puppy; and our former, eliminated contestants are going to have a say as to who will have an advantage in the final challenge that will soon be happening at the season finale!" Eliza says: "We'll reveal how THAT'S going to unfold, as soon as the commercials are over!" Captain Retro says: "And I can't WAIT to see how that happens!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here, and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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I'm super sorry for the long break, but I'm FINALLY ready to reveal the second, and FINAL part of this episode, "Performance Review: Legend Of The Finalists!" / (Dedicated to Jason David Frank). / The camera opens up back on Norbert and Eliza, and it shows Captain Retro coming back to sit on the couch, but his face is covered with clean sink water! Wally asks: "Captain Retro, what happened to YOU?! You look as though you've just been through SHOCK treatment or something!" Captain Retro asks: "What's MORE shocking than losing a Nickelodeon icon from Power Rangers, and you keep EXPECTING someone to inevitably CLONE him and make the pain of the loss more bearable, but it doesn't happen?! So, you can FORGIVE me for the fact that I feel somewhat MORTIFIED that something THAT unthinkable; or at least, something that SHOULDN'T have happened for another 70 years, MINIMUM; actually happened! Something DRASTIC like that, should be WARNED about...ten YEARS in advance; PREFERABLY!!!!" Otto says: "WOW! I guess even Captain Retro can be caught off guard!" Zarbon says: "And NOT just by my beauty!" Gonard says: "Well, if it makes you feel any better, a LOT of us have felt the pain of loss in one form or another! I had to accept the fact that Bulma was already in love with someone else, and I wasn't going to change her mind about who she loved! Speaking of, why is SHE here; anyways?! I thought she was SUPPOSED to be with Yakkity!" Bulma yells: "Have you EVER heard of 'COMMUTING'?! We're ONLY a few miles AWAY from the currently wrecked studio, you know!" Heffer asks: "Does she ALWAYS treat EVERYONE else like a brain dead idiot?!" Blonda sighs, and she says: "Not EVERYONE, just life-forms she thinks are DUMBER than she is; which is ONLY mostly everybody!" Eliza says: "And I had to deal with the loss of what WAS my job on Family Guy!"

Dog says: "Trust me; you're really NOT missing a thing!" Daggett says: "I agree! I've NEVER been on that show, and I'M actually funny for the RIGHT reasons!" Taotie says: "I lost my wife to divorce." Stimpy says: "And I lost Ren...well, divorced him because he was mentally unstable." Keswick says: "Bottom line is, you can't keep everything around you, always staying the same; no matter how much you want to. I know this seems like a change you don't want to accept, but there will be plenty of other changes in life, and I know if you're patient enough, they'll be changes you'll be grateful for, and GLAD that they happened to you! So, you just got to take the bad changes, with the good." Captain Retro says: "I know, you're all right. Even the pain I feel right now will go away in time. It's just waiting for enough time to PASS, that's the hard part!" Norbert says: "Anyways, time to get back to our regular schedule!" Eliza says: "They might have gotten eliminated at different times on this half-season!" Norbert says: "But we're STILL interviewing them together, because they WANT to be interviewed together!" Eliza says: "Give it up for Chameleon, and Dudley Puppy!" And Chameleon and Dudley Puppy walk in together, holding hands, as they listen to the thunderous applause! Kitty says: "I don't think I'll EVER get used to seeing that, much like all those AWFUL FAKE pictures of ME on the Internet! It's NOT funny OR sexy, it has NEVER been funny OR sexy, and it NEVER will be funny OR sexy!" Tigress says: "FINALLY! Someone ELSE says something I can actually AGREE with!" Taotie says: "You SAY that like nobody has EVER said something that YOU'VE agreed with EVER before!" Tigress says: "Well, it certainly doesn't happen enough for MY taste; THAT'S for sure!" Norbert says: "Look, can we cut it with the bleacher chatter? We've got a show to get on the road, metaphorically speaking!" Chameleon says: "Thank you! And I just want to say, that learning about all the different legends that this show has presented us, has been a really enriching experience!" Dudley says: "I'll say! What other show do YOU know can run the gamut from the Promethius Torch, to the Lucky Pocket Watch of Henry Ford?! I'll bet the list is PRETTY small, that's for sure!" Eliza says: "Just like HOW important Kaput REALLY is to Nickelodeon; pretty SMALL!!!!" Kaput says: "Just wait until Season 6! Zosky will help me win THAT one for sure!"

Monster says: "Even I think that's highly unlikely!" Norbert says: "Agreed! Now, out of the three finalists; who would you most like to see win?" Chameleon says: "Probably Spongebob. He's probably only SECOND in shape-shifting skills compared to me!" Dudley says: "Tough call. I'd have to go with Yakkity. He's palying for his Grandma, and he's a really nice guy!" Tigress says: "A FAR more acceptable choice for a winner, THAT'S for sure!" Fee sarcastically says: "Like YOU'RE the best choice to decide what IS and isn't acceptable in this world?!" Tigress angrily asks: "Would you CARE to say that CLOSER to my FACE?!" Harvey seriously says: "We'll PASS, 'MASTER' Tigress!" Larry says: "I'm not sure WHY he used air quotes like that, and I'm not sure I WANT to know!" (Confessional) Harvey says: "At this point, the only thing I'd HONESTLY be willing to call Tigress a Master of, is being the Master of Misplaced Outrage! SERIOUSLY, there are FAR worse things she could be upset about than WHO actually wins this half-season, of this show!" / Tigress says: "I think Yakkity and Marlene know BETTER than to 'Let' Spongebob win! They BETTER know BETTER!!!!" (End Confessional) Eliza says: "Before they take a seat, Chameleon and Dudley have asked Captain Retro and The Real Breadwinners to sing Jefferson Starship's With Your Love, set to a montage of their most romantic moments! Care to take them up on that offer?" Captain Retro perks up, and he says: "Absolutely! Anything for a Jefferson Starship song!" / The studio lights dim, a spotlight appears on Captain Retro and The Real Breadwinners, as a montage of Chameleon and Dudley's best and most romantic moments during the course of this half-season, plays in the background during the song. /

Captain Retro (and The Real Breadwinners) sing: "Don't know what's happened to me since I met you. Feel like I'm falling in love since I met you. I got to know what you doing, doing to me with your love. (With your love). What you doing, doing to me with your love. (With your love). What you doing, doing to me with your love. (With your love). What you doing, baby. It feels so good, whatever it is. Knew from the start it had to be you. You got my heart. I don't know what I'm gonna do with your love. Heaven sent a sign that sent you. I'm going out of my mind since I met you. I got to know what you doing, doing to me with your love. (With your love). What you doing, doing to me with your love. (With your love). What you doing, doing to me with your love. (With your love). What you doing, baby. It feels so good, whatever it is. Whatever it is and whatever it's called, I know that it's you. I can't help gettin' involved with your love. With your love. With your love. With your love. Whatever you did to me; well, you sure did it good. My heart's filled with loving, and I knew that it would; with your love. Don't know what's happened to me since I met you. I feel like I'm falling in love since I met you. I got to know what you doing, doing to me with your love. (With your love). What you doing, doing to me with your love. (With your love). What you doing, doing to me with your love. (With your love). What you doing, baby; It feels so good, whatever it is. Knew from the start, it had to be you. You got my heart, I don't know what I'm gonna do with your love. Baby, sweet baby." / And the song ends as the audience loudly applauds, the studio lights come back on, and Chameleon and Dudley take a bow. Norbert says: "Thank you both for the great montage, and thanks to Captain Retro and The Real Breadwinners for a great song! Dudley and Chameleon, you may both take a seat!" And they both take a seat together close to Keswick! Tigress says: "Now THAT is TOTALLY unfair! THEY get a great LOVE song, and I get...WHATEVER 'Ride The Tiger' is SUPPOSED to be about!" Treeflower says: "Come on! Judging by the way you and PO have constantly lived life together; I thought THAT song would've BEST described YOUR love life together!" Bulma says: "BURN!!!! And I don't just say THAT about anything!"

Zarbon says: "I highly DOUBT you would if Captain Retro weren't here, to keep an EYE on Tigress!" Tigress says: "The MINUTE I'm no longer pregnant; WATCH out, Bulma!" Bulma says: "You'd have to get past VEGETA, FIRST! And good luck TRYING!!!!" Eliza says: "In any case, it's time to introduce our NEXT former contestant!" Norbert says: "He can't stay here for long, because he's got to go back to helping Marlene in the final two challenges; but he's a champion eater, a champion gamer, and has CONSUMED more pickles than he would care to admit, give it up for Bubble Bass!" And Bubble Bass floats in on his bubbles, and lightly sets himself down on the couch! Blonda looks at Tigress, and Blonda asks: "What? No snarky comments about HIM?" Tigress scoffs, and she says: "As if! Bubble Bass learned EVERYTHING he needed to KNOW about becoming a CHAMP thanks to ME! The likelihood that HE could've won without MY valuable skills and advice, is practically...NON-EXISTENT!!!!" Larry angrily says: "You know something, Tigress? You would've been NOTHING without Bubble Bass in the last half-season!" Tigress' face SOMEHOW scowls even more, and she angrily asks: "WHAT do you MEAN by THAT?!!!" Larry asks: "Who came up with ALL the good ideas in the last half-season? Bubble Bass! Who did all the degrading and important work? Bubble Bass!" Tigress asks: "Do you WANT to start something? Because I WILL end it! How FAST I end it, depends entirely on YOU! I CAN make it quick, but if you MAKE me end it SLOWLY...well, I can't guarantee YOU'LL enjoy it the way I will!"

Bubble Bass says: "You know; THAT was your BIGGEST problem in the last half-season? Always ASSUMING that you could solve ANYTHING with your fists if you JUST hit it HARD enough? But just remember; Po MIGHT be backstage, and if he HEARS any of what YOU have been saying; even I highly doubt he would WANT to stick around with YOU!!!!" Tigress says: "I am CARRYING four of his FUTURE children! Of COURSE he's going to support WHATEVER I decide to do, if for no other reason that he doesn't WANT them to grow up to have the same GOD Forsaken AWFUL child-hood that I did!" Bubble Bass says: "And THAT'S what EVERYTHING about you BOILS down to! You're STILL bitter that neither your dad or Master Shifu EVER let you do anything a normal, happy child usually gets to do; and because you could NEVER bring yourself to attack your dad or Master Shifu, you decide the next best thing is to become EXACTLY like your father was, and take it out on your children who HAVEN'T done anything to you! That's REALLY getting REVENGE against your father, Tigress!" Tigress, for ONCE in her life, looks absolutely stunned and SPEECHLESS, as if someone FINALLY identified the BIGGEST flaw in her life SO concisely, even SHE couldn't possibly IGNORE it! She sits down, and she sputters: "How could HE know the baggage I carry?! He's FRIENDS with SPONGEBOB LOSERPANTS!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "That's your OTHER flaw! You see Spongebob as the WEAK child YOU used to be, and you think that if you can JUST beat him up so UTTERLY and completely, you'll FINALLY beat your father, and win the love he's NEVER given to you before when; SPOILER ALERT, if your father REALLY loved you, than you wouldn't NEED to beat up a sponge who poses NO threat to you whatsoever, and he would accept you without the NEED for you to win ANYTHING!" Tigress says: "Well, it doesn't matter if you ARE right about that; because you KNOW as well as I do, that Spongebob could NEVER win against the likes of Marlene and Yakkity! Those ODDS are insurmountable even for HIS so-called skills! His dumb luck WILL run out before too long; just WATCH me turn out right!" Squidward asks: "Do you think you're ALWAYS right about EVERYTHING?!"

Tigress pulls out a BIG jar of coins, with a digital coin counter on it, and she says: "According to THIS jar, I am!" Pearl reads it, and she says: "Time's Tigress has been right: 46,392,817,645,327,164 times. Time's ANYBODY else has EVER been right BESIDES Tigress: 4 times." Wally says: "I'm surprised she even COUNTED 4! Where did THOSE come from?" Tigress says: "Three from Po, for his movies. And ONE from Bubble Bass just a little while ago!" Bubble Bass says: "And I'm PROUD of it, to!" Eliza says: "Well, I hope you're HAPPY Tigress! You just ate up ALL of the time we were GOING to use to interview Bubble Bass!" Tigress sarcastically says: "Oh, we wouldn't want to make Spongebob LOSERPANTS SAD, now WOULD we?!" Zarbon says: "Hey! Cut it out, or I SWEAR to Porrunga, I'll HIT you! Children, or NO children! You're WORSE than Freeza! You're...EVIL!!!!" Tigress boldly says: "Oh, YEAH?!!! Well, if I'm SO evil; why doesn't somebody try to STRIKE me with--!" And Zarbon ZAPS her with a lightning bolt, but she just STANDS still, as though she is COMPLETELY unaffected by the attack attempt! Tigress says: "Nice TRY, Zarbon, you JERK!!!! Next time, TRY bringing your A game!!!!" Zarbon gets an Anime sweat drop, and he says: "That...WAS my A game!" Bubble Bass says: "Enjoy yourself while you CAN, Tigress! It's later than you think! Oh, and by the way; even though I'm helping Marlene to win, I feel PRETTY confidant that Spongebob is going to prove you SO wrong; the IRONY of it will be JUST sickening to you!" Tigress scoffs, and she says: "PLEASE!!!! I would LITERALLY KILL one of my OWN nine lives before I ever let Spongebob LOSERPANTS ever win something that SHOULD be rightfully MINE!" Captain Retro says: "Watch your MOUTH, Tigress! It didn't do Bulma any favors in season three, and it WON'T help you here! If you continue down the path you're currently on, you WILL do it alone; and I mean ALONE!!!!" Tigress says: "Like I'd EVER NEED anybody ELSE'S help to win!" Captain Retro says: "That day may be coming, a LOT sooner than you think! And it will be to NOBODY'S surprise except YOU, that NO help will be given to you; when you FINALLY, inevitably need it!" Tigress says: "I don't NEED to be like Marlene and listen to YOUR predictions! Nothing, not even FATE controls me! I ALWAYS make MY own destiny!" Captain Retro nods his head sadly, and he says: "That's PRECISELY what I'm afraid of!"

Bubble Bass says: "Well, I'd love to stay and watch the inevitable fall-out of Tigress' RASH decisions, but Marlene needs me! Good luck with the REST of your show!" And Bubble Bass floats out on his bubbles! Norbert shouts out: "Thank you! And on that note, it's time to reveal something that will make even Tigress' fur stand on in; PO has been BACKSTAGE, listening to your ENTIRE conversation this WHOLE time, and has heard EVERY single WORD of IT!!!!" Tigress yells: "LIAR!!!! LIAR!!!! LIAR!!!! If Po WAS here, I would be the FIRST to KNOW about it!" Blonda smugly says: "Oh, you WOULD, would you? While I may NOT be able to live forever anymore, or even be able to have someone wish it for me; I can STILL use my magic for OTHER purposes! And I've USED my magic wand to MASK Po's presence in this building, EVEN from YOU!!!!" Tigress angrily yells: "LIAR!!!! LIAR!!!! LIAR!!!! No amount of MAGIC can stop MY skills! I PROVED that THREE times OVER in the Temple Run challenges!" Blonda says: "I knew FULL well that you'd CALL the Temple Run 'RIGGED' if you didn't NEARLY instantly win it EVERY single time you competed, so I purposely held BACK the defenses of the Temple's integrity every single TIME you ran, increasing it ONLY ever so slightly, so you WOULDN'T get suspicious! But know this, my magic could've STOPPED you any time I WANTED it to; I only DIDN'T because I KNEW your own POOR decision making would be far WORSE of a punishment than ANY magic I could've concocted!" Tigress angrily yells: "LIAR!!!! LIAR!!!! LI--!!!!" Po angrily yells: "TIGRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tigress' eye irises shrink down in horror, and all she can do is scream: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Daggett says: "SHEESH! And I thought TREEFLOWER could scream!" Tigress nervously says: "H...hi, Po! What an...unexpected...surprise!!!!" Po angrily says: "Blonda TOLD me she'd be keeping MY presence a SECRET from you so I could HEAR your unfiltered thoughts, but I NEVER would've expected that you'd have such an AWFUL opinion about Spongebob! What did HE ever DO to you?!" Tigress sputters, and she says: "He EXISTS!!!! He's the ENEMY!!!! I HAVE to BEAT HIM or FATHER will NEVER give me my--!" Po yells: "NO!!!! You CANNOT keep using YOUR father as a crutch to keep WEASELING your way out of your own HORRIBLE opinions about others! Master Shifu taught you BETTER than that! The examples of Master Crane, Master Monkey, Master Mantis, and even Master Viper taught you better than that! I thought that you would've learned to be BETTER than this by BEING with me, and THIS is the kind of stuff you honestly SAY about others BEHIND my BACK?!!!" Tigress says: "Those THOUGHTS were supposed to be PRIVATE!!!! You were NEVER supposed to KNOW about them!" Taotie says: "But YOU sure felt comfortable enough sharing them with the entire UNIVERSE that WASN'T Po, even ME!!!! And I thought I was supposed to be your sworn enemy!" Po angrily says: "Taotie is actually RIGHT, as shocking as it is for ME to admit! I would THINK that given the circumstances, I have been EXTREMELY patient and FORGIVING of your attitude up until now! But what you SAID about Spongebob, who has done NOTHING to you; is BEYOND the pale!" Tigress nervously says: "You can't POSSIBLY leave me, not now; not when WE have our WHOLE future ahead of us!" Larry suspiciously says: "Oh, so NOW it's 'WE' and not 'YOU'! Where was THAT when you were so SMUG and SECURE about yourself?!" Po angrily says: "Look, there are at least a MILLION other ladies in China who wanted ME; a million other ladies who would've THROWN themselves on the ground, and kiss my feet, as gross as THAT would be! But I denied EVERY single one of them, because YOU were the lady I most wanted to BE with! You might very well BE the strongest, fastest, and TOUGHEST female in the entire world; and while I would NEVER say you LOOKED like it on the OUTSIDE, but on the INSIDE; for what it's worth, I have NEVER seen ANY woman UGLIER than YOU are on the inside right NOW!!!!"

Tigress actually starts crying, and Po says: "You're LUCKY that Master Shifu taught ME so well! Many OTHER men in MY position; THEY'D--NO! Don't EVEN let ME go there, Tigress! I don't EVEN want to THINK about THAT!" Tigress cries, and she says: "What would YOU have me do?! Completely deny who I AM?! I've had to LIVE with myself and the way I behaved all my life! You can't HONESTLY think that I can just DROP it all, just like THAT; do you?!" Po sighs, and he says: "Of course not! But it's high time you STARTED! You are SUPPOSED to be Master Tigress! You're supposed to be able to handle ANYTHING! And I've NEVER known you to turn your back on a challenge; and I don't think you wanna start! Not now, not when you're SO close to having the life you've always wanted! Come on, Tigress! I can give you ONE more chance to PROVE yourself, but you HAVE to promise to LET whatever FEELINGS you have about Spongebob, your childhood, or your father go! You HAVE to start taking responsibility for your OWN decisions! I WANT to be a part of YOUR life, and I KNOW you want ME to be a part of YOUR life to! BUT; I'm only willing to do so if YOU can make an HONEST attempt to change and BE better than you have been! And I can only do that, if you HONESTLY mean it!" Tigress wipes away her tears, and she says: "Okay. I promise on behalf of our children!" Po says: "Don't say it on behalf of ANYONE! You SHOULD be able to promise on behalf of yourself!" Tigress' face blanches, and she calmly says: "Excuse me." She walks over to Taotie, whispers something in his left ear, and he screams: "OH MY GOD!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS DIRTY, STINKING ROTTEN, LOW DOWN, NO GOOD, BLIFFER BATTEN, TERRA MACKEN, COUGHA PLASTA, CLIPPER CLATTEN, HEFFER HATTEN, MERRA RACKEN, GLIPPER GOW, CRAIG McCRACKEN, NO-GOOD MACHIAVELLIAN THING!!!!" And the entire audience loudly "OOH'S" at that statement!" Taotie says: "Don't 'Ooh', at me! That's what Tigress WANTED me to say, since SHE didn't want to say it!" Tigress groans, and she says: "I...needed to get THAT out of my system." Po sighs, and he says: "Well, at LEAST it's progress! So, do you promise to do better?" Tigress sighs, and she says: "I promise."

(Confessional) Tigress groans, and she miserably says: "I'm DOOMED!!!! If Spongebob ACTUALLY wins, I'll LOSE!!!! If I over-react IF Spongebob wins, I'm DOOMED!!!! If Po LEAVES me, I'm DOOMED!!!! I call that a LOSE-LOSE-LOSE situation! And worst of all; I was SO desperate to not have Po be disappointed in ME, I PROMISED to behave myself! If I break that promise NOW...it would be the END for us!" / Po sighs, and makes a praying position: "Please, Master Oogway! PLEASE give Tigress the strength she needs to keep her promise!" (End Confessional) Eliza looks at her watch, and she says: "I'm dreadfully sorry Po, but I'm afraid you've used up all the time you COULD'VE had for talking!" Po says: "Don't worry about me, it's TIGRESS who needs the help; now, more than ever!" Tigress groans, and she says: "Right! I have to adjust the 'Times Anybody ELSE was right' to SIX for starters!" Norbert says: "But just out of curiosity, who DO you want to win; Po?" Po says: "Well, to AVOID any freak-outs, I'll play it on the safe side, and I want Yakkity to win!" Tigress sighs in relief, and she says: "Thank you. I NEEDED to hear that!" Po says: "You're NOT out of this yet, not by a LONG shot!" Tigress groans, and she says: "I know! This is going to be a TRILLION times worse than having to endure Tai Lung's attacks!" Taotie says: "Come on! Even with FOUR other Masters to help you fight him?" Tigress says: "ESPECIALLY even with four other Masters to help me fight him!" Eliza says: "However, we got one last surprise for you. To play us out on a montage of everything the contestants, both eliminated and remaining have been through, Captain Retro and The Real Breadwinners will perform Jefferson Starship's hit song, Count On Me! Are you ready?" Captain Retro says: "Practically born that way!" Norbert says: "Than sing it, like you mean it! Let's end this episode on a HIGH note!" /

The studio lights once again dim, a spotlight appears on Captain Retro and The Real Breadwinners, as a montage of the highlights all of the contestants in this half-season have been through, play in the background while they sing. / Captain Retro (and The Real Breadwinners) sing: "Precious love, I'll give it to you. Blue as the sky and deep in the eyes of a love so true. Beautiful face, you make me feel light on the stairs and lost in the air of a love so real. You can count on me! Count on my love! Count on me! Count on my love to see you through. Emerald eyes and China perfume caught on the wheel and lost in the feel of a love so soon. Ruby lips, you make my song into the night; and saved by the light of a love so strong. You can count on me! Count on my love! Count on me! Count on my love to see you through! (Instrumental Break) Woo, hoo, hoo, hoo! You can count on me, girl! (Count on me)! You can count on my love! (Count on my love)! Precious love, I'll give it to you. Blue as the sky and deep in the eyes of a love so true. Beautiful face, you make me feel light on the stairs and lost in the air of a love so real! You can count on me! Count on my love! Count on me! Count on my love! Count on me! Count on my love! Count on me! Count on my love!" / And the song fades out as the audience loudly applauds and the studio lights come back on! Eliza says: "Well, this wasn't the Performance Review we envisioned, but it was certainly interesting!" Norbert says: "Please stay tuned for the final two episodes of Total Cartoon Legends, the next time we come back!" Captain Retro says: "And we WILL be back!" /


Episode Notes: Songs performed in this episode include "We Didn't Start The Fire, Part II" (based on the tune originally written by Billy Joel, with new lyrics written by Jason Cantu, AKA yours truly) as performed by Captain Retro and The Real Breadwinners; what was originally Jefferson Starship's "With Your Love" and "Count On Me", as performed by Captain Retro and The Real Breadwinners. Tigress is FINALLY given the ultimatum to either shape up and start ACTING like the force of good she is SUPPOSED to be, or Po will LEAVE her for good; which she promises to be, because she was SO desperate to NOT lose him! Eliminated Contestants: 46. Kowalski. 45. Private. 44. Kaput. 43. Johnny Krill. 42. Haggis McHaggis. 41. Monster Krumholtz. 40. Aang. 39. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 38. Darwin. 37. Heffer Wolfe. 36. Judy Funny. 35. Sway-Sway. 34. Invader Zim. 33. Gonard. 32. Blonda. 31. Squidward Tentacles. 30. Dora the Explorer. 29. Tigress. 28. Otto Rocket. 27. Dog. 26. Zarbon. 25. Super Chum. 24. Kitty Katswell. 23. Jenny Wakeman. 22. Treeflower Fields. 21. Gerald. 20. Fee. 19. Harvey Beaks. 18. Daggett Beaver. 17. Pearl Krabs Barracuda. 16. Bulma Briefs. 15. Keswick. 14. Taotie. 13. Stimpy J. Cat. 12. Sandy Cheeks. 11. Larry The Lobster. 10. Wally. 9. Future Adult Rube Goldfish. 8. Chameleon. 7. Bubble Bass. 6. Po. 5. Dudley Puppy. 4. Buhdeuce. The Final Three: Spongebob Squarepants ("Spongebob Squarepants"). Marlene Otter ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"). Yakkity Yak, ("Yakkity Yak"). /
Personal Notes: Sometimes, the reason why I have a hard time writing new episodes, is because I don't have the idea of how to finish it. Here, it was because I was in a deep funk because of the untimely passing, of Jason David Frank. I felt that the only real way I could write this episode, is by acknowledging it in universe. Yes, it's happened; and we can't go back and change it even if we wanted to. Maybe I didn't need to write it that way, but I know that by being honest about it; I feel more at ease continuing on with this series. It remains to be seen whether or not Tigress will be able to keep her promise. It all winds down to who will come out on top in the final two challenges! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

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Because I'm still hoping for a response regarding the OTHER series I write for, I shall amuse myself (and hopefully some other people) by FINALLY writing the next episode of "Total Cartoon Legends"! / Sniz is seen driving in a car, and without looking at the camera, he angrily says: "LAST time on Total Cartoon Legends, an arrogant man who shall forever remain SWAY-SWAY, did the most HORRIBLE thing in the world EVER!!!!...Okay, maybe not the most HORRIBLE thing in the world EVER, but STILL pretty bad! After a brief trip down memory lane, it was time to collect the Lost Lucky Pocket Watch of Henry Ford, as well as some other Legends that we didn't get to collect during this season! But SWAY-SWAY had to go and RUIN it by over-reacting to the fact that Buhdeuce could now FLY while he couldn't, and he CRASHED his Rocket Van into a tree, WRECKING our VALUABLE studio, and damaging his OWN good looks! Thankfully, thanks to the fact that Buhdeuce was willing to pay the bill for the damages, $35.6 million and 25 cents of his $40 million prize, we hired a really GOOD repair guy, someone who former contestant Heffer Wolfe HIGHLY recommended, and we are FINALLY going to return to the studio, and see how EVERYTHING has been fixed! The Final Three has been decided! Spongebob Squarepants, Marlene Otter, and Yakkity Yak, with help from Sandy, Bubble Bass, and Bulma respectively, are about to put all of their knowledge and skills on the line, in the pen-ultimate episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" And from the studio, Olmec says: "It's going to be legendary!" / Instead of the usual show open, it opens on a recreation of an ancient mid-evil tapestry, and a scene of the remaining characters and their partners on it, as a familiar song from "The Sword In The Stone" plays in the background; the theme song for "The Sword In The Stone". / A Man sings: "A legend is sung of when England was young, and knights were brave and bold. The good king had died, and no one could decide, who was rightful heir to the throne. It seemed that the land would be torn by a war; or saved by a miracle alone. And that miracle appeared in London town, the sword in the stone." / "The Legend Of King Arthur's Lost Sword Of Excalibur!" /


The episode opens up on Sniz pulling up to the outside of the studio, were a very FAMILIAR one shot pig repairman from "Rocko's Modern Life" is seen at the entrance. Sniz parks his car at the car parking space marked "For Show Hosts ONLY", and turns off the car and steps out of it! The Pig Repairman says: "Well, it's about TIME you got here; I've had this place ready to go for you for quite a while now!" Sniz breathes deeply, still TRYING to get over his anger over what Sway-Sway did, and Sniz calmly says: "I...needed some TIME to collect my anger over what happened at the studio, but I think that I am now OVER it! I trust that everything has been put back in it's PROPER place?!" The Pig Repairman says: "Better than THAT; I IMPROVED it! You are going to LOVE what I've DONE to the place!" Sniz opens the Studio doors, and he says: "I'll be the judge of..." Sniz looks into the Studio and SCREAMS: "AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The camera pans out to reveal that the pig repairman has turned EVERYTHING except Olmec into a giant BATHROOM!!!! Sniz says: "You...turned my studio into a BATHROOM!!!!" Sniz runs into another room, revealing a bathroom and he says: "My kitchen is a BATHROOM!!!!" Sniz runs into another room, revealing a bathroom and he says: "My hallway is a BATHROOM!!!!" Sniz runs into another room, revealing a bathroom and he says: "My garage is a BATHROOM!!!!" Sniz runs into another room, revealing a bathroom and he says: "My Confessional is a BATHROOM!!!!" Sniz runs into another room revealing a bathroom and he says: "My BALLROOM is a BATHROOM!!!!" Sniz runs into ANOTHER room revealing a bathroom and he says: "Even MY BATHROOM is a BATHROOM!!!!" Than Sniz THINKS about IT, and he says: "Well I, guess THAT'S OKAY!" Sniz runs back to the Pig Repairman, and Sniz says: "There are TOO MANY bathrooms in this studio?!" The Pig Repairman asks: "What are you TALKING about?! You can NEVER have TOO many bathrooms!" Sniz throws a suitcase full of money at him, and screams: "OUT!!!! Out of my studio you SICK psycho! And take the STUPID $35.6 million and 25 cents I had to pay for you! I am giving you a PALTRY two stars for your service!"


Wanda poofs in, and she asks: "What's the SECOND star for?" Sniz says: "Well, he TECHNICALLY did do repair work!" And Johnny Krill plays a rim-shot! Wanda raises an eye-brow, and she asks: "THAT joke was WORTHY of a rim-shot?!" Johnny says: "I'm just going off of what the cue cards tell me to do. Besides, I get PAID by the rim shot!" General Barracuda says: "Now THAT'S job security!" Sniz says: "It's about TIME you got back! Please THROW this delinquent repairman OUT of HERE!!!!" The Pig Repairman says: "Don't bother! I'll see MYSELF out!!!! SHEESH!!!! Can't even do anything NICE for anyone anymore!" And The Pig Repairman leaves the building! Wanda says: "What are WE going to do NOW?! We can't POSSIBLY hold the last two challenges of this season with the studio...like THIS!!!!" Sniz groans, and he says: "I know, I KNOW!!!! Where's an EXPLOSIVE Rocket Van when you NEED IT?!!! It looks like it's time for Plan B!" General Barracuda says: "And just WHERE exactly do you plan to FIND a Plan B?!!!" The Studio doors open, and who should walk back in, EXCEPT FONDUE?!!! Fondue says: "The TRUE co-host of this series is BACK in business! FINALLY finished with my community service!" Sniz says: "Oh, look; see, there? It resolved itself! I trust you have a way OUT of this...dilemma?" Johnny says: "Well, if you ask ME; I've always been told that when life gives you LEMONS, you make LEMONADE!!!!" Everyone LOOKS at Johnny, and General Barracuda BLUNTLY says: "We are NOT making a challenge revolving around bathrooms or ANYTHING of that nature! We'll save THAT for a show that's otherwise utterly bankrupt and out of ideas, like how 'Teen Titans Go!' RUINED Cartoon Network!" General Barracuda turns to the camera, and he says: "It's the HARD truth, people; you got to LIVE with it!" Fondue says: "That was NOT my idea! We'll simply have to finish the last two challenges on location! Fortunately for you; I've already thought of TWO challenges that can be finished in the SAME country; Ye Merry Olde England!!!!" Wanda raises an eyebrow again, and she asks: "Is 'Ye' even considered an ACTUAL English word ANYMORE?!" Fondue says: "Who cares?! Everyone UNDERSTOOD what I meant!"


Sniz says: "Quite right! General Barracuda, get the other contestants and their helpers that we will be taking a...Wanda, has legal CLEARED us to reference Beatles songs?" Wanda poofs up a contract signed by Sir Paul McCartney and Sir Ringo Starr, and Wanda says: "I've got legal right HERE; YES!!!!" Sniz says: "Than tell the contestants that we'll be going on a 'Magical Mystery Tour'...but with an ACTUAL plot!" General Barracuda says: "Right! I just HOPE everyone is DONE fawning over Sway-Sway in sick bay! He has some NERVE, making ME of all characters SCARED for my LIFE!!!!" / (Confessional that's now a Bathroom) General Barracuda says: "I am SO glad I don't have to use a Confessional like THIS every day! I pride myself on being fearless and respected! Any guy or girl who makes me feel NOT like that, I personally have no use for! I am SO glad that neither he NOR Buhdeuce are in the competition anymore!" (End Confessional) Buhdeuce, the remaining contestants, and their helpers, are in the sick bay, worrying over a heavily bandaged, and still charred Sway-Sway, with the Sick Bay being the ONLY room in the ENTIRE place that wasn't TURNED into a Bathroom! Sandy shakes her head and she says: "I had a feeling; I had a feeling RIGHT from the start that being FRIENDS with a dumb-butt like Sway-Sway would be NO good for YOU, Buhdeuce!" Marlene says: "See? That condescending attitude of yours is precisely why YOU didn't make the final four this time, and Buhdeuce DID!" Bubble Bass rolls his eyes and says: "Even I would've known THAT fact, and that's coming from someone who used to constantly LIVE it!" Spongebob says: "Besides, we SHOULDN'T be putting Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce DOWN!!!! This thing could've happened to ANY of us!" Buhdeuce says: "But none of YOU own Rocket Vans; how COULD this sort of thing happened to any of you?!" Yakkity looks STUMPED, and he says: "That...is an EXCELLENT question, and I'll get right back to you as SOON as I figure one out!" Bulma says: "Statistically speaking, there are several ways this COULD'VE happened...none come to mind at the moment!"


Sway-Sway moans in pain, and he opens his eyes and sees Buhdeuce, and Sway-Sway ruefully says: "Oh, YOU'RE still here! Here to rub it in my FACE that you can fly and I CAN'T?!!!" Buhdeuce sputters and he says: "D...DON'T act like that! Do you HONESTLY think that I meant to be insensitive to you on PURPOSE?!!! I mean, I would have NEVER bragged ABOUT being to fly if I had ANY knowledge that YOU couldn't!!!!" Spongebob says: "Trust me, I know honesty when I see it." Bulma scoffs, and she says: "Puh-LEESE!!!! Do you HONESTLY expect ME to believe THAT?! You couldn't TELL if Squidward was being sarcastic to SAVE your life!" Bubble Bass says: "That's ONLY for the SHOW!!!! There's a HUGE difference between what he does on the show, and what he does in real life!" Sandy says: "I never thought I'd say this, but I actually AGREE with Bubble Bass on THAT point!" Marlene says: "Besides, none of US can ACTUALLY fly; but you don't see US acting all jealous towards Buhdeuce about it!" Sway-Sway WINCES at that comment, realizing that they have a point, and Sway-Sway groans, and says: "Oh...what have I DONE?!!! Buhdeuce, I...shouldn't have been jealous with you! The truth of the matter is, all the times we were cruising, doing our usual runs; even when I told myself that I was doing it ALL to impress Jenny Quackles; I'm not sure if I could've done HALF of the things I was able to do, without YOU to help me out! Only a TRUE friend would've done that; I'm sorry for not realizing it sooner!" Bubble Bass says: "I have to admit, the reason why I sometimes acted AGAINST Spongebob, is because I was jealous of his diligent work ethic! And instead of trying to build myself up, I tried to knock him down. I...realize now, that trying to knock someone else down, only brings YOURSELF down more! It never made ME feel any better about myself! It was only when I started applying myself to situations that I was able to turn my life around." Yakkity says: "In all fairness, Buhdeuce; you really SHOULD still be in the competition!" Bulma sputters, and she asks: "W...why would you even SAY that?!" Yakkity says: "Because all of YOU had prior experience to coming on here! I had no RIGHT to get this far; a newcomer in this game, with no strategizing skills and few talents to speak of. I coasted through MOST of this game by relying on your genius, Bulma!" Bulma says: "SEE?! SOMEBODY recognizes my genius!"


Bubble Bass says: "So did I, but you don't see ME making a spectacle of myself...unless I need to do it as part of my in-show character!" Bulma asks: "Do you EVER shut that MOUTH off?!" Bubble Bass says: "Look who's TALKING!!!!" Bulma sighs, and she admits: "Fair enough." Buhdeuce says: "Well, I never thought I would've made it as far as fourth place EITHER, especially without Sway-Sway! But you know the reason why I did? Not just blind luck and the right circumstances, but the determination to never give up on trying to achieve my dream! So I've lost my chance to win this season; it's not the end of the world! Did Marlene quit after only getting third place on season two?" Marlene says: "Nope! I auditioned for a chance to win on season 3, than I auditioned AGAIN for a chance to win on season 4B!" Buhdeuce says: "Thank you! And so, Yakkity; this is the perfect chance for YOU to prove to EVERYONE on this show, that you have as much of a right to be here as we did! You've come this far, now is your chance to go all of the way!" Yakkity says: "You're right, Buhdeuce! I'll do it not just for my Grandma, my mom, or my dad WHEREVER he is; I'll do it for you and Sway-Sway!" General Barracuda comes in and he says: "I hate to interrupt this little 'Love-Fest or whatever it is you call it..." Bubble Bass rolls his eyes and he says: "What are you TALKING about? You ALWAYS like to interrupt and ruin things like this!" (Bathroom Confessional) General Barracuda fumes, and says: "OOH, I HATE it when he's right about something and I CAN'T honestly refute it!" / Bubble Bass says: "I knew I had to have inherited SOMETHING from my dad...besides a snarky attitude that could give even the Nostalgia Critic a run for his money!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda says: "Ignoring THAT factually true statement, I've come to announce that hospital visiting time is OVER!!!! Sniz AND Fondue have got a challenge for YOU to do, and we'll be going to jolly old England to do it!" Spongebob asks: "WAIT!!!! You mean, Fondue is BACK?!!!" General Barracuda says: "If it up to me, I wouldn't have given him the time of day! But apparently, Sniz WANTED him back to do important stuff, so who am I to judge?" Marlene says: "Technically speaking, YOU judge a LOT of things!"


(Bathroom Confessional) General Barracuda fumes, and he says: "NOW I remember how Marlene made it to the Final Three the FIRST time; a sharp mouth, and a SOMEHOW even sharper wit! It's no wonder Skipper loves HER so; just about the ONLY thing he's ever done RIGHT in his life!" / Spongebob groans in frustration, and he says: "Oh, MAN!!!! If Sniz wants Fondue back, that means the next two challenges are going to be HARD ones, designed to get ME out and LOSE!!!! It would've been one thing to have LOST to Tigress, which everyone was expecting ME to do, but to lose to Marlene and ESPECIALLY Yakkity; I don't see how there could be a MORE lopsided disadvantage for me than THIS!" / Marlene says: "What can I say? I know what my strengths are, and I know how to utilize them! My strategy this time? Wait until everyone else is finished fighting amongst themselves, and see who is left! Against Spongebob and Yakkity, I don't see how there could be a MORE lopsided advantage for me than THIS!" / Yakkity says: "I'm not going to pretend that I don't know where I stand in this whole situation! Marlene, and even SPONGEBOB; have done so much work to get to this point! My biggest selling point was that I was smart enough to work with Bulma for as long as it was convenient and useful to me! But now; it's all up to me...somehow. I really don't SEE any advantage or disadvantage to this situation. Honestly? It COULD go either way!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda slow-claps and he sarcastically says: "Wow. Two for two AGAINST me; usually you have to pay EXTRA for that! Anyways, contestants and helpers are to come with me! We're going on a Magical Mystery Tour to England!" Buhdeuce asks: "Can Sway-Sway and I come along, to?" General Barracuda incredulously asks: "COME ALONG?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're LUCKY that Sniz was even willing to HEAL Sway-Sway for damaging the studio, even if he LEGALLY had to provide it!" Yakkity says: "But Buhdeuce is one of the biggest reasons that I've GOTTEN this far! I don't think that I WOULD be here without him! If THEY don't get to go, I WON'T go; than you'd have to EXPLAIN to Sniz and Fondue why they are SHORT one contestant at the Final Three!"


(Bathroom Confessional) General Barracuda fumes AGAIN, and he says: "OOH, I HATE it when a contestant does THAT!!!!" / Buhdeuce air fist-pumps, and he says: "YES!!!! Yakkity HAS it! He has initiative! I KNEW that it would show up eventually! He just MIGHT be able to pull out a win after all!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda groans in frustration, and he says: "Okay, FINE!!!! Bring whoever, and come to the bus! Please note that the studio of Nickelodeon and it's employers do not assume any responsibility for personal injury or loss of luggage!" Yakkity and Bubble Bass get Sway-Sway on a hospital wheel-chair, but Yakkity WINCES at the sight of Sway-Sway without feathers. Yakkity goes to the closet, and pulls out his dad's old fur coat, and Yakkity says: "I'm sorry, but that look will NEVER do! Here, take my father's old fur coat! It's not feathers, but it will at LEAST keep you covered until your feathers grow back!" Sway-Sway genuinely says: "Wow, THANK you! What did I ever do to deserve such good friends? And after I acted like such a DUMB-BUTT to?" Buhdeuce says: "We ALL make mistakes from time to time, but we DON'T have to let our mistakes define us; we can learn and grow from them!" Bulma says: "Except for ME, because I don't MAKE any mistakes, so I have to LEARN from the mistakes of others!" Bubble Bass says: "And leave it to Bulma to ruin what could have OTHERWISE, been a tender, perfect moment!" (Bathroom Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "I'm so glad I'm not the one hosting this show; balancing the comedy with tenderness, is a LOT harder than it looks!" / Sandy says: "I'll just be glad when this show is done, so Spongebob and I can focus on more IMPORTANT things, like my upcoming spin-off movie!" (End Confessional) Everyone runs out to outside the studio, where everyone is SURPRISED to see the ACTUAL bus from the TV movie of "The Magical Mystery Tour", and Sniz is dressed up like a tour guide! Marlene says: "Wow! You really didn't skimp on the budget! I hope it drives as COOL as it looks!" Sniz says: "I had Wanda detail it myself! I will NEVER trust Heffer with making a decision regarding repair jobs or anything ELSE again!" Wanda says: "And quite frankly, I don't BLAME you!"


Fondue says: "And I just KNOW Sniz has something VERY important for me to do!" Sniz says: "As a matter of fact, I do! Fondue, I want YOU...to take apart all this bathroom NONSENSE and return the studio to the way it originally looked!" Fondue looks aghast and he says: "But...a job THAT big would take up the rest of this SEASON; I'd miss out on the last two challenges!" Sniz says: "Well, don't look at ME!!!! I'd DO the job myself, but my hosting duties come first; and there's not enough money in the budget to accommodate YOU; and even if there WAS, there's not enough room in the bus!" Fondue says: "You mean I gave you the idea for the LAST two challenges, just to be STUCK with Olmec doing repair duty?!" Sniz says: "On the contrary, Olmec is GOING to be coming with us!" Sandy says: "Not to question YOUR logic, but HOW is a giant Mayan/Aztec/Inca stone head going to fit in the bus?" General Barracuda says: "Everybody, what's our go-to answer?!" Everyone BESIDES Sandy says: "Fairy Godparents who we can have wish for and grant any wish that we need!" (Bathroom Confessional) Sandy says: "Man, it's kind of LOUSY how we can have such a simple solution for what would OTHERWISE be an impossible PLOT problem to figure out!" (End Confessional) Fondue says: "WAIT!!!! Why don't we just have the Fairy Godparents wish the studio back to normal?!" Sniz says: "Fondue, these are WISHES; not miracles!" (Bathroom Confessional) Fondue groans, and says: "This is why the fandom CAN'T have nice things!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "In any case, we're NOT going to fit Olmec INSIDE of the Bus, Olmec is going to BECOME the Bus! Wanda?!" Wanda says: "I've always WANTED to do THIS spell!" And Wanda waves her wand, and Olmec's face magically becomes the front of the bus! Olmec says: "Come on, everybody; climb on for the Magical Mystery Tour! We're going to England, where we will do a challenge of, The Legend Of King Arthur's Lost Sword Of Excalibur!" Sniz says: "And lucky for ALL of you, there won't BE any Moat Challenge today; we'll be traveling over plenty of water over the Atlantic Ocean as it is! Everybody, climb on in!"


(Bathroom Confessional) Spongebob breathes a sigh of relief, and he says: "PHEW!!!! Fondue won't be coming for the last two challenges after all. I might be able to win this game after all! Please, don't let Tigress SEE this thing!" / Marlene says: "Fondue not coming for the last two challenges? Eh, tragic. However, I still have ONE advantage! Spongebob and Yakkity know NOTHING about how to handle a challenge that revolves around the final three; I'm the only one who DOES! I may not know what Spongebob and Yakkity can bring to this game, but I am NOT going to be caught off guard like I was the LAST time! I intend on giving it everything I've GOT this time!" / Yakkity says: "Fondue not coming doesn't change anything for ME in the slightest; the game could STILL go either way!" (End Confessional) Marlene says: "Right front window seat, called it!" Bubble Bass says: "Have that seat if you must; just remember, I'm your partner until the end of this thing!" Bulma says: "I don't think any of US will be forgetting that any time soon!" Buhdeuce shouts from outside of the bus, and he says: "Uh; would you PLEASE lower down the ramp for us so I can roll Sway-Sway INSIDE this thing?!" General Barracuda and Sniz just STARE at them with VERY dirty looks! Sway-Sway says: "They're...still mad that I...kind of...accidentally blew up the studio aren't they?!" Buhdeuce says: "And even AFTER I paid Sniz that money to FIX it! It's not MY fault the guy he hired turned out to be a total hack!" Spongebob says: "Ramp?! You don't need Sniz to roll down a ramp!" Spongebob morphs into a ramp, and he says: "You can roll up ME!!!!" (Bathroom Confessional) General Barracuda snaps his fingers, and he says: "Oh, MAN!!!! I forgot Spongebob could change forms like that!" Sniz pokes his head in, and he says: "YOU forgot one of the ONLY things that makes Spongebob a LEGITIMATE force to be reckoned with in this Final Three?!" General Barracuda says: "He has about 300 episodes in his main show alone! I can't keep TRACK of everything he's done!" / Bubble Bass says: "He should've asked me! I could've kept track FOR him! I do that out of necessity!" (End Confessional) Buhdeuce rolls Sway-Sway up Spongebob, and Spongebob says: "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"


Buhduece finishes rolling Sway-Sway into Spongebob and Buhdeuce and Sway-Sway simultaneously say: "Sorry, Spongebob!" And Buhdeuce says: "Jinx! You owe me a soda!" Sway-Sway says: "Oh, man!" (Bathroom Confessional) Buhdeuce says: "We're starting to speak simultaneously together again! We're making progress!" (End Confessional) Spongebob changes back to normal, and everyone finishes picking a seat, including Johnny Krill who rushes to join them! Fondue asks: "You're taking Johnny KRILL to join you instead of me?!" Sniz says: "Eh, he still has the rest of this season in his contract. I'm not one to break it and have to pay fines for having done so!" Johnny says: "Yes! I STILL have plot relevance!" General Barracuda says: "Which is about the only thing you HAVE got!" Johnny says: "Irrelevant!" Sniz says: "All right, everyone buckled up?!" Everyone does so, and Sway-Sway's wheel-chair gets strapped into place. And Spongebob asks: "Sandy, do you have any idea what's about to happen?" Sandy says: "Not really, but knowing Sniz; it's probably going to be interesting!" Sniz says: "All right, everybody; I'm really going to push the throttle this time, and see what this thing can do!" / And to everyone's surprise, the bus suddenly lifts up INTO the air, and launches straight forward over the Atlantic Ocean! Psychedelic color and imagery fill the inside of the bus, all while The Beatles' song, "Magical Mystery Tour" plays in the background! /


The Beatles sing: "(Roll up! Roll up for the magical mystery tour! Step right this way!) Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour! Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour! Roll up (And that's an invitation), roll up for the mystery tour! Roll up (To make a reservation), roll up for the mystery tour! The magical mystery tour is waiting to take you away! Waiting to take you away! Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour! Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour! Roll up (We've got everything you need), roll up for the mystery tour! Roll up (Satisfaction guaranteed), roll up for the mystery tour! The magical mystery tour is hoping to take you away! Hoping to take you away! Mystery trip! Aaaah... the magical mystery tour! Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour! Roll up (And that's an invitation), roll up for the mystery tour! Roll up (To make a reservation), roll up for the mystery tour! The magical mystery tour is coming to take you away! Coming to take you away! The magical mystery tour is dying to take you away! Dying to take you away, take you today!" / And as the song ends, Olmec says: "We will soon be landing at our destination in England, please remain seated until the bus comes to a complete stop. We will take a quick break, and be back to perform our challenge, on 'Total Cartoon Legends'!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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Once I get the second and final half of this episode out of the way, all that will be left is the finale of this season, so it's time for the second and final part of "The Legend Of King Arthur's Lost Sword Of Excalibur!" / After the commercials end, the flying Magical Mystery Tour Bus circles around the English Countryside, until it lands and comes to a stop around the site of the Cadbury Castle in the English County of Somerset. Sniz announces: "We have arrived at our destination! All ashore who's going ashore, so to speak!" Everyone unloads off of the bus. Bulma looks around, and she says: "Uh, not to complain about your logic, but I THOUGHT we were going to Camelot!" Yakkity says: "Where you go to buy a lot of camels!" And Johnny Krill plays a rim-shot! And everyone looks at Yakkity weirdly. Yakkity says: "Come on! When ELSE am I EVER going to get the opportunity to use THAT joke?! I don't think anybody's doing a production run of 'Spamalot' anytime soon; at least, none that I have personally heard of!" Buhdeuce says: "You've got to admit, he has a point!" General Barracuda angrily says: "Shut up, you future duck roast! I'm in no mood for pint-sized PIPSQUEAKS who make MY life miserable, let ALONE USELESS ones like Spongebob Squarepants!" Bubble Bass groans, and he says: "Here we GO again! Dad, just DROP your irrational hatred for Spongebob Squarepants already! It WON'T do you any good, and it is NEVER going to make you FEEL any better about yourself! TRUST somebody who KNOWS from personal experience!" Spongebob says: "Besides, you have no PERSONAL reason to honestly hate me. You shouldn't even HAVE a reason, PERIOD! Master Coelaceanth is LONG gone, and you haven't worked for him LONG before that!" General Barracuda says: "That doesn't mean that I can't HATE you on PRINCIPLE! You and your WEAK little body, YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!! You know FULL well that if it weren't for you BEING a popular character on a popular SHOW, you NEVER would've lasted as LONG as you HAVE! In any SANE universe, you would've been voted off the very first DAY!!!!" Bulma says: "And the only REASON Tigress didn't is because she didn't want to RISK getting voted off herself!"


General Barracuda scoffs, and he says: "Like I ever would've LET her leave in a vote-off against Spongebob Squarepants! But if I had KNOWN that Spongebob was popular enough to last THIS long, I would've figured out a way to get rid of him sooner!" Johnny Krill says: "Lucky for us, YOU'RE not in charge of who gets to stay or NOT!!!!" General Barracuda unleashes a devious smile, and he says: "No, but I AM a master of getting wins for those that I most WANT to get a win! Tigress HATES you, Spongebob; she hates you ALMOST as much as I do, and I have put a CALL to her, to give her an offer she could NEVER refuse; I have offered her to give HER the win of this ENTIRE season, if she beats YOU in a fight, thus PROVING she is the BEST contestant in the HISTORY of this show! In other words, win-win for ME; lose-lose for YOU!!!!" Marlene says: "You're WRONG!!!! Tigress would NEVER intentionally do something to BREAK Po's trust and faith in her!" General Barracuda motions his hands, as if expecting to welcome someone, and he says: "And HERE she COMES!!!!" Everyone looks to where General Barracuda is motioning, but no-one else is appearing! General Barracuda sputters, and he says: "What is WRONG with her?! Doesn't she care at ALL about the LEGITIMACY of contestants who are SUPPOSED to actually WIN this SHOW?!!! I said; 'HERE SHE COMES'!!!!" General Barracuda still motions, but he is STILL treated to nobody else appearing! Sway-Sway mockingly says: "What's WRONG, HORATIO?!!! Is everything NOT going the way you expect it to?!" General Barracuda angrily says: "YOU stay OUT of THIS, duck-meat; or I'll FIX you as WELL!!!!" Sniz says: "YOU will do no such thing; YOU are not PERMITTED to kill or personally HURT any contestant; even ones you PERSONALLY don't like!" Wanda poofs in, and she says: "And Tigress WON'T be appearing anyways! Read this copy of instructions she left for Master Crane!"


Wanda hands General Barracuda a piece of paper with writing on it, and General Barracuda reads out loud: "Master Crane, please follow these instructions to the letter; lock me up tightly in the inescapable Kung Fu Training Simulation Room until the season is over. I have enough food and drink to last me for that long. And please, no matter how much I may beg or possibly threaten, do NOT let me out of that room for ANY reason until the season is over; the champion is decided, and I cannot change the decision in ANY way, shape or form whatsoever! I WANT to keep my promise to Po, by ANY means necessary! Sincerely, Tigress"?! Yakkity says: "Read it and weep; it looks like Tigress LOVES Po, MORE than she HATES Spongebob!" Sandy says: "And THAT means that Spongebob is going to get to play this upcoming game FAIR and SQUARE!!!!" General Barracuda ANGRILY says: "Oh, he IS; IS HE?! We'll soon SEE about THAT!!!!" And General Barracuda angrily stomps off! Marlene blows on her nails, and says: "General Barracuda is going to magically disguise himself as Tigress and fight Spongebob himself, CALLING it!" Buhdeuce asks: "How is he going to do THAT?! The Anti-Fairies are all in an inescapable, Anti-Magic jail! They can't magically get out, and nobody can WISH them out!" Bulma says: "But it IS possible that General Barracuda might have confiscated some magic of theirs! However, even in my WORST moments; I would NEVER touch THAT stuff! But why he's BOTHERING to antagonize Spongebob at this late venture of the game, is BEYOND me!"


(Castle Confessional) General Barracuda chuckles evilly, and he says: "Leave it to Johnny Krill to make someplace for contestants, and ME, to have a confessional for the last two episodes of this season! I have had $35.6 million riding on Spongebob LOSING this season to a more competent contestant; I.E. practically ANYBODY, and I'm NOT going to lose that bet, even if I have to take matters into my OWN fins!" General Barracuda reaches into the left pocket of his pants, and pulls out some purple, Anti-Fairy magic dust! General Barracuda says: "Anti-Fairy magic dust, ground by Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof themselves! With this brand of magic, it SHOULD transform me INTO Tigress herself, EVEN the use of her voice, just LONG enough for me to THOROUGHLY beat Spongebob and make SURE he loses this season! And given how Spongebob is SUCH a delicate FLOWER under SUCH overwhelming pressure, that shouldn't take LONG at all! Bubble Bass may not be interested in having Spongebob eliminated, but I AM!!!!" General Barracuda chants an incantation and says: "Darkness and thunder, I confess; turn this Barracuda INTO...!" And General Barracuda dumps the magic dust onto himself, and when the dust CLEARS, turns into the EXACT likeness of Master Tigress, and the actual VOICE of Master Tigress starts speaking: "Master TIGRESS!!!! You will RUE the day you EVER forced ME to magically disguise myself as a girl!" (End Confessional) Yakkity says: "We AREN'T just going to stand around and LET General Barracuda go THROUGH with such a crazy plan, are we?!" Sniz sighs, and says: "Even I can barely control what he does! Once he gets an idea into his head...you REALLY can't get it out of him! Why don't we all just 'Play along'? He's BOUND to fail at THIS plan just like he's failed at all his OTHER attempts at antagonizing Spongebob!" Spongebob asks: "How do you figure that?!" Johnny Krill says: "Hello?! Since WHEN has ONE of General Barracuda's plans EVER worked against you?! He schemes, he plots, he plans; you and your friends ALWAYS figure out someway to thwart him DESPITE his best efforts! You'll be FINE, you're ALWAYS fine!" Bubble Bass says: "And I'm surprised that I can't actually ARGUE against him, there!"


The magically disguised General Barracuda as Tigress appears, and says: "Maybe not, but I HIGHLY doubt you'll argue against ME!!!! I might have had to take a LONG way to get here WITHOUT taking a magical bus, but I still have WAY more than enough energy to beat YOU; Spongebob!" Marlene says: "CALLED IT!!!!" Spongebob, completely unconcerned says: "Oh, HELLO; 'Tigress'! Where's YOUR baby bump? And DON'T give me an answer that you'll REGRET giving because of political correctness!" General Barracuda as Tigress says: "A female tiger is on AVERAGE, pregnant for ONLY 93 to 114 DAYS; so my CUBS have already been BORN, Mr. Subpar Smartless-pants!!!!" Bulma winces, and she says: "OOH, technically not wrong; there!" Spongebob says: "Well, it doesn't matter whether or not you are or AREN'T who you say you are; because YOU have already been eliminated, regardless!" General Barracuda as Tigress angrily says: "Eliminated, my PAW!!!! I was forced to QUIT because of my pregnancy! But now that it's OVER, I'm ready to 'UN-QUIT'! And don't ACT like it hasn't been done! Sniz has allowed both Lil and Skipper to 'Un-quit', both of them TWICE!!!! Unless Spongebob has any objections, thus PROVING he's a COWARD and wants to run home, just a 'wittle' baby!" Spongebob defiantly says: "I'm up to anything YOU can dish out, cat!" General Barracuda as Tigress, CLEARLY didn't hear Spongebob, as the disguised fish shouts: "HA!!!! You see?! I TOLD you Spongebob would NEVER accept my challenge!" Buhdeuce says: "But--." General Barracuda as Tigress says: "I've told EVERYBODY that Spongebob always KNEW he never HAD a chance against ME!!!!" Sway-Sway says: "But--." General Barracuda as Tigress says: "This PROVES my point that Spongebob is a DIRTY coward, and I'M the one who DESERVED to WIN all along!!!!" Yakkity says: "But--." General Barracuda as Tigress says: "You have NO idea how LONG I've been wanting to stare you in the FACE, making you utterly AFRAID of me and RIGHTFULLY so, knowing that YOU could NEVER measure up against me--!" Bubble Bass angrily shouts: "HEY!!!! Spongebob SAID that he could HANDLE anything YOU could dish out!"


General Barracuda as Tigress initially STILL doesn't get it, and says: "Obviously! A sponge would NEVER have a CHANCE of beating--!!" Than the realization FINALLY hits like a snowball, and General Barracuda as Tigress, twitches, and angrily asks: "Like, WHAT; did you SAY?!!!!!!!!!!!" Spongebob angrily says: "I SAID, I am NOT going to back down from your CHALLENGE!!!! All my LIFE, I have been pushed aside and treated like DIRT from condescending bullies like you; but I am NOT going to be pushed aside ANYMORE!!!! You are going to find out what HAPPENS when someone like me decides to push BACK against you, and you are NOT going to like it!" General Barracuda as Tigress angrily says: "How DARE you disagree with ME?!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH?!!!!!!!!!! Well, let me give you a little REMINDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And General Barracuda as Tigress SLAMS his/her left arm paw as HARD as possible into the Cadbury Castle hill site, and the whole site, cracks, creaks, and CRUMBLES into nothingness into the ground! General Barracuda as Tigress smirks, and says: "Do you REALLY want to end up like THAT?!!!" Bulma, however, decides she's had ENOUGH of the charade, and she says: "I think it's time you DROPPED trying to PRETEND that you're Tigress, General Barracuda!" General Barracuda as Tigress, however, is unfazed, and says: "I don't have the SLIGHTEST idea what you're talking about! I AM Master Tigress! I am the STRONGEST, I am the SMARTEST, I am the FASTEST, I am the TOUGHEST, and by necessary extension and explanation, the MEANEST!!!! If I'm NOT who I say I am, than I HOPE Justin Bieber gets STRUCK by lightning!" Wanda magically poofs a TV set for General Barracuda to see, and a News Announcer on it says: "And in breaking news, after a long time of it NOT happening; Justin Bieber has ONCE again been struck by lightning!"

General Barracuda as Tigress BREAKS the TV set, and says: "That proves NOTHING!!!!" Marlene says: "Look, you still have time to AVOID a crushing defeat! WE know you're not Tigress, Sniz knows you're NOT Tigress, even SPONGEBOB knows you're not Tigress! You can STILL get out of this GRACEFULLY!!!!" General Barracuda as Tigress, twitches and gets REALLY angry, and says: "LOOK, if you WANT me to PROVE that I really AM who I say I am, than I'm willing to THROW down with Spongebob, RIGHT now! I could care LESS whether or NOT whether it's Marlene or Yakkity who WINS; I just want to make SURE that SPONGEBOB loses!!!!" Sniz says: "Well, YOU'RE out of luck! This is a final Three, and it's going to STAY a Final Three! Because there's NO amount of money, in the WORLD; that can make me change my--!" And General Barracuda as Tigress, pulls out a BRIEFCASE filled with $30 million in it, and Sniz instantly says: "MONEY!!!! Cancelling ALL thoughts of rational legal and safety protocol in my mind! I'm sure if anybody HAS any complaints, THAT should be more than enough to cover it! Besides, just imagine the RATINGS!!!! What are your conditions, 'Tigress'?" General Barracuda as Tigress says: "Simple. Since we all know that Spongebob knows jack-squat about King Arthur or ANYTHING regarding the Knights of the Round Table, we'll just SKIP the Steps of Knowledge and get RIGHT to the Physical Challenge! A Sword fight, between Spongebob, and me!" Marlene asks: "What about me and Yakkity?" General Barracuda as Tigress says: "I'm FIGHTING on YOUR behalf! If I win, you two AUTOMATICALLY get to go to the Final Two and figure out the champion for YOURSELF! If Spongebob wins, than HE has to CHOOSE which of his TWO good buddies he will HAVE to eliminate, which he will NEVER do, because he would NEVER hurt the ones he LOVES!!!!" Sandy says: "You are ABSOLUTELY crazy!!!! Spongebob would NEVER agree to such--!" But Spongebob glowing yellow, angrily says: "I don't CARE what your conditions are, I am NOT backing down from this CHALLENGE!!!!" And Spongebob once again transforms into a Super Saiyan 2!

General Barracuda as Tigress eagerly says: "That's it! How could you POSSIBLY lose to me, without the knowledge that you gave it your ALL, and you STILL couldn't win?!!!" And General Barracuda as Tigress TOSSES a sword STUCK in an anvil and stone to Spongebob, while General Barracuda as Tigress pulls out a sword NOT stuck in anything. General Barracuda as Tigress, says: "Oh, in case you're wondering, THAT is the Legendary Lost Sword of Excalibur! I'd figure I'd save Marlene and Yakkity the trouble of trying to find it!" Yakkity says: "Not that I doubt your ability, but you CAN'T just break the RULES like THAT!!!!" General Barracuda as Tigress says: "Actually, I think I've proven that I can! I'm richer AND stronger than everyone else HERE!!!!" Spongebob angrily says: "Richer, MAYBE!!!! But Stronger? Let's agree to DISAGREE!!!!" And Spongebob reaches for the hilt of the sword, in order to pull it out of the anvil and stone! General Barracuda as Tigress says: "Oh, did I forget to mention? Since in THIS version of the legend, Excalibur IS the Sword In The Stone, and 'Only the Chosen may wield'? Meaning an ETERNAL LOSER like you can NEVER pull it out! But, I'll still give you a customary ten seconds to realize your futility and run away. It will make the inevitable chase more interesting...for ME!!!! One..." But Spongebob grunts and groans as he attempts to pull Excalibur out of the stone and anvil! General Barracuda as Tigress says: "Two..." But Spongebob doesn't relent, and pushes harder AND tougher to get the sword out of the stone and anvil! General Barracuda as Tigress says: "Three..." Spongebob grunts as he is grasping to free the sword with all his might! General Barracuda as Tigress says: "Four..." Spongebob actually begins to wiggle the sword, and CRACKS begin appearing in the sword and anvil! General Barracuda as Tigress FINALLY realizes that Spongebob IS serious about TRYING to fight him, and says: "You're TRYING my patience!" Thankfully, at that moment, Po appears in the distance, and runs toward the scene, as General Barracuda as Tigress quickly counts: "Five, six, seven, eight, nine, TEN!!!!" And General Barracuda as Tigress lunges forward, only for Po to grab the disguised fish by the tail, and Po asks: "What are you DOING?!!! We had an AGREEMENT!!!!" General Barracuda as Tigress says: "Stay out of my WAY, foolish pretentious PRETENDER; or you won't live LONG!!!!"

And General Barracuda as Tigress gives Po a left uppercut, and pins Po on the ground! General Barracuda as Tigress says: "I'm not just doing this for you, I'm doing this for ME!!!! We HAVE to prove that the STRONG are the STRONG and the WEAK are the WEAK!" But General Barracuda is totally unaware that Spongebob is actually FREEING the sword as light begins to shine on it!
General Barracuda as Tigress says: "If we let Spongebob win this season, do you have ANY idea what that would DO to the balance of NATURE?!!! Horses would ride cars, cats would mother porcupines, humans wouldn't even be the main stars of an animated sitcom! It would ruin EVERYTHING until there is nothing RECOGNIZABLE of the Earth we KNOW! Is THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!!!" Po asks: "Tigress, what's WRONG with you?!" Spongebob angrily says: "I know what's WRONG!!!!" And Spongebob actually MANAGES to completely pry Excalibur FREE of the Sword In the Stone, causing General Barracuda as Tigress to scream: "AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And Spongebob actually manages to swing the sword, causing General Barracuda as Tigress to quickly defend with his/her own sword! General Barracuda as Tigress says: "Im...IMPOSSIBLE!!!!" Spongebob angrily says: "Like I said, 'Let's agree to disagree'!!!!" General Barracuda as Tigress, dodges out of the sword-lock, and gets to a standing position! General Barracuda as Tigress angrily says: "I don't CARE if you CAN turn Super Saiyan 2, wield Excalibur, star in around 300 episodes, 3 movies, and potentially 2 more movies, you will STILL never be stronger than ME!!!!" Spongebob says: "Your complete, utter, and unwarranted arrogance has ALWAYS been YOUR greatest weakness! But, I will agree with you on ONE point; I HAVE never been ABLE to beat YOU in combat before...GENERAL HORATIO BARRACUDA!"

This causes General Barracuda as Tigress to go utterly BESERK, and he/she says: "I WILL PROVE MY SUPERIORITY IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!!!" And General Barracuda as Tigress begins thrashing and slashing with his/her sword as hard as possible, but Spongebob keeps BLOCKING every blow! Johnny Krill says: "Remember when this show USED to be about contestants answering questions and finding lost legends?" Olmec says: "Sadly, I do." Marlene says: "How long can they possibly FIGHT like that?!" Bulma says: "Even I don't know! Stamina and endurance can only help you hold out for so long, eventually, one of them is going to have to give!" General Barracuda as Tigress says: "You've been a LOT more trouble than ANY sponge should be worth, but it will SOON be over NOW; you MISERABLE INVERTEBRATE--!!!!" But at that moment, General Barracuda as Tigress begins twitching, and nervously says: "NO!!!! Not now, not now! Not now when I'm so freaking CLOSE!!!! AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And at that moment, the Anti-Fairy magic wears off, and General Barracuda reverts back to normal!!!! General Barracuda, in his normal voice screams: "NO!!!! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and NO!!!! I was so close, I was so close, I was SO close; I was so, SO, STINKING CLOSE!!!! I didn't hesitate, I didn't mess around, I was the PERFECT warrior! And you're telling me I STILL couldn't seal the deal?!!!"

Sniz says: "Well, while I appreciate the great fight, the fact of the matter is; the FIGHT was SUPPOSED to be between TIGRESS and Spongebob! YOU are NOT Tigress, so YOU are disqualified! Which means, by the rules of your OWN deal, Spongebob is the WINNER with Immunity!!!!" General Barracuda sputters, and he says: "But...I wasn't ACTUALLY supposed to ACTUALLY lose!!!! There's just no way!!" Spongebob powers down, and he drops Excalibur, and he says: "So, WHO'S the coward unwilling to accept his OWN deal now?!" General Barracuda angrily fumes, and he says: "I NEVER go back on my word! You've WON your little game and your little Immunity; but play time is over for YOU NOW!!!! Now, you have to FORCE one of your friends OUT OF THIS GAME!!" Sniz says: "I'm afraid, General Barracuda is right! A deal IS a deal! And someone must be eliminated from this challenge!!!!" General Barracuda laughs wickedly, and he says: "I'll still get the LAST laugh! You ALWAYS HURT THE ONES YOU LOVE!!" And Spongebob gulps nervously! (Castle Confessional) Spongebob says: "What have I gotten myself INTO?!!! I knew I shouldn't have fought General Barracuda, but he was just so...ERRR!!!! Well, I've got ONE trick that might SAVE my friends! I just hope it works!" / Marlene says: "Seeing Spongebob fight against General Barracuda was SO awesome! But was it worth it? Spongebob certainly isn't going to keep someone like ME around, if he WANTS an easy win! And I highly DOUBT he'd be willing to break Yakkity's heart! I just NEVER thought the game would end THIS way!" / Yakkity says: "I highly doubt Spongebob is going to want to keep ME! He's known and been friends with Marlene for FAR longer than he has with me; and therefore, has a lot more to LOSE by eliminating HER! I seriously DOUBT he's going to risk breaking Marlene's heart! I just NEVER thought the game would end THIS way!" (End Confessional) The Contestants, their helpers, Buhdeuce, Sway-Sway, Johnny Krill, Po, Wanda, Sniz, Olmec, and a reluctant General Barracuda are standing around a makeshift campfire. Po angrily says: "You have a LOT of nerve magically disguising yourself like Tigress and trying to make her LOOK bad! You ought to be ASHAMED of yourself!"

General Barracuda scoffs, and he says: "PLEASE!!!! If I were CAPABLE of feeling ashamed of myself, I would NEVER admit that Bubble Bass, was in fact MY son; which I have!" Bubble Bass says: "I'm not sure whether to feel delighted or insulted by that comment!" Johnny Krill sighs, and he says: "Sad to say, General Barracuda has the same contract I've got. Sniz will let him finish the season before he decides what to do with him." Sniz says: "Well, I've just got to say, this episode went NOTHING like I thought it would! Don't get me wrong, it was interesting! But; I hope the next episode will go a lot more according to plan! Contestants; since Marlene and Yakkity will obviously vote for each other and cancel each others vote out, Spongebob will have the deciding vote as to which of his contestants he will eliminate. Once the choice is read, the contestant and their helper must hop on the Magical Mystery Tour Bus, where they will join the other eliminated contestants. That means they are out of the game and can never come back, EVER!!!!" And everyone looks nervously at Spongebob, who's looking nervous himself! Johnny says: "I have no personal stake in this thing, and even I'M nervous about the ordeal!" Sandy says: "Don't worry yourself, Spongebob will make the right call!" Bubble Bass says: "I hope so, otherwise, I'm going to miss out on the finale!" Bulma asks: "What about ME?! I'm the prettiest AND the smartest! I have EVERY right to be here, you know!" Buhduece says: "Like this season even REMOTELY revolved around YOU!" Yakkity says: "Exactly! I'M the one who's actually at RISK of being eliminated!" Spongebob says: "Everyone, just CALM DOWN!!!! I need to cast my vote!" Sniz says: "Right! Since we don't have our voting machine, Spongebob will write his choice on a piece of paper, and than hand it to me. You can use the Confessional to do your writing!" Spongebob gets up, and Sway-Sway sincerely says: "Good luck, Spongebob. You're gonna need it." General Barracuda says: "You didn't have to say THAT!!!!" (Castle Confessional) Spongebob looks around, and he says: "OH, PLEASE let this WORK!!!!" And he writes something down! (End Confessional)

Spongebob heads back, and hands Sniz the piece of paper. Sniz says: "Spongebob has spoken! And the next contestant, who will be eliminated from this game, IS...!!!!" And everyone tenses up in anticipation, only for Sniz to get a WEIRD look and say: "NEITHER?!!!" Sniz says: "Uh, Spongebob; you were SUPPOSED to write down a contestant you WANTED to eliminate!" Wanda says: "Actually, what Spongebob did was a perfectly LEGAL maneuver! There's nothing against the rules against him wanting to NOT eliminate EITHER of the contestants! And once the vote is cast, it's valid and unbreakable; EVEN for you!" Sniz is exasperated, and he says: "And here I thought, Spongebob NOT wanting to eliminate anybody was amusing. But now, it's become a hindrance. Obviously, that's going to have to be a rule patch for that kind of stunt NEXT season! Well, since I am SO generous--." And everyone else laughs LOUDLY at that statement, and Sniz says: "Don't know exactly why THAT is so hilarious, but get it out of your system; I have decided that it WILL be a Final Three after all!" Marlene breathes a sigh of relief, and she says: "Spongebob SAVED us, Bubble Bass! We're STILL in the game!" Yakkity breathes a sigh of relief, and he says: "I never thought Spongebob would save US, Bulma! We still get to play, to!" Sandy is exasperated, and she asks: "Spongebob, why in the world did you DO that?! You've just MADE the Final Three at least 33-50% HARDER for yourself than you NEEDED to make it!" Spongebob says: "Maybe so! But I wouldn't feel right about it any other way! This way, I can play this game with as clean a conscience as I possibly can! This way, I'll know for sure which of the three of us is the best contestant among us!" Sniz says: "Well, that's all the time we have for this challenge, but tune in next time for the FINAL episode and challenge of this season!" Olmec says: "So don't be vain, and don't be whiny, or else we might have to get medieval on your heinie!" /

Episode Notes: Featured songs in this episode, "The Sword In The Stone Theme Song," and "The Magical Mystery Tour". First time that General Barracuda has openly antagonized Spongebob since season two's "Predator Aliens: Countdown to Disaster!" The Final Three remains a Final Three due to Spongebob (legally) deciding to not eliminate either of his remaining contestants! Eliminated Contestants: 46. Kowalski. 45. Private. 44. Kaput. 43. Johnny Krill. 42. Haggis McHaggis. 41. Monster Krumholtz. 40. Aang. 39. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 38. Darwin. 37. Heffer Wolfe. 36. Judy Funny. 35. Sway-Sway. 34. Invader Zim. 33. Gonard. 32. Blonda. 31. Squidward Tentacles. 30. Dora the Explorer. 29. Tigress. 28. Otto Rocket. 27. Dog. 26. Zarbon. 25. Super Chum. 24. Kitty Katswell. 23. Jenny Wakeman. 22. Treeflower Fields. 21. Gerald. 20. Fee. 19. Harvey Beaks. 18. Daggett Beaver. 17. Pearl Krabs Barracuda. 16. Bulma Briefs. 15. Keswick. 14. Taotie. 13. Stimpy J. Cat. 12. Sandy Cheeks. 11. Larry The Lobster. 10. Wally. 9. Future Adult Rube Goldfish. 8. Chameleon. 7. Bubble Bass. 6. Po. 5. Dudley Puppy. 4. Buhdeuce. The Final Three: Spongebob Squarepants ("Spongebob Squarepants"). Marlene Otter ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"). Yakkity Yak, ("Yakkity Yak"). / Personal Notes: Prior to this season, I never thought I would be able to write for Spongebob in a compelling, and meaningful way. Thankfully, the advent of "The Patrick Star Show", and it's successful experiments with experimentation regarding character development in regards to Patrick, made me realize I could apply the same principle to Spongebob! This season, and his personal character arc, has been about him, transitioning from his ordinary, meek, extreme doormat personality; to (at least metaphorically) growing a spine, and becoming a competant, capable man who can stand up for himself and not let himself get taken advantage of others; or without sacrificing his integrity to be kind and compassionate towards others. As for what will happen in the finale? You'll have to wait to find out for yourselves! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

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At long last, mercifully, season 4B shall finally come to an end. It is now time to reveal the champion in the finale of "Total Cartoon Legends!" / Sniz is standing in front of a completely REBUILT Cadbury Castle, with a weary and worn-out General Barracuda, panting and wheezing against the rebuilt castle. Sniz says: "Previously on Total Cartoon Legends, due to some IDIOT who decided to REBUILD my entire studio into what I can only ASSUME was a museum dedicated to BATHROOMS for some odd reason, I quickly needed to come up with a new idea for a finale, stat! Luckily, Fondue came along, and suggested that I do the Final Two challenges on location, in jolly old England! But General Barracuda BACK here, just couldn't STAND the thought of Spongebob Squarepants STILL being in the competition! Deciding that he was NOT going to take any chances, General Barracuda decided to take matters into his OWN fins! He magically disguised himself as Tigress, and pick a FIGHT with Spongebob! The winner would get to determine the final contestants fighting in this season. During the course of events, General Barracuda got SO mad, he LITERALLY punched the Cadbury Castle into dust, and absolutely FUMED with fury when Spongebob managed to pull out Excalibur! That's 'TEMPTING FATE' General Barracuda, and SPOILER ALERT, you will ALWAYS lose no matter who it IS you're doing it to! In the end, General Barracuda couldn't seal the deal as his magical disguise wore off, and was disqualified. But instead of eliminating either Marlene or Yakkity, Spongebob somehow managed to LEGALLY...at least in THIS season, find a way to NOT eliminate anybody! So, not wanting to get into any OTHER ordeals, I decided to make this season finale a Final Three after all! As for General Barracuda? I decided to GRACEFULLY not press any charges against him, as LONG as he agreed to COMPLETELY rebuild the Cadbury Castle that he wrecked!" General Barracuda pants, and wheezes: "Every single BRICK, NO magic assitance, all by MYSELF!!!!" Sniz says: "I guess that proves that you really CAN'T solve all your problems by just punching them! Anyways, it's time to FINALLY have the FINALE of 'Total Cartoon Legends'!" And Olmec says: "It will be the legend, to top ALL LEGENDS!" /


Instead of the usual show open, a montage showing all of Spongebob's, Marlene's, and Yakkity's greatest moments (as they out-last all of the other contestants) throughout Season 4B plays, as a familiar rocking song by Lenny Kravitz, "Are You Gonna Go My Way?"; plays in the background! Lenny Kravitz sings: (Instrumental Open) "I was born long ago. I am the chosen, I'm the one. I have come to save the day, and I won't leave until I'm done. So that's why you've got to try! You got to breath and have some fun! Though I'm not paid, I play this game. And I won't stop until I'm done! But what I really want to know is, are you gonna go my way?! And I got to, got to know! I don't know why we always cry. This we must leave and get undone. We must engage and rearrange, and turn this planet back to one. So tell me why we got to die, and kill each other one by one?! We've got to hug and rub-a-dub, we've got to dance and be in love! But what I really want to know is, are you gonna go my way?! And I got to got to know! (Instrumental Break) But what I really want to know is, are you gonna go my way?! 'Cause baby I got to know, yeah!" / And the musical sequence ends! / "The Legend Of The Holy Grail" / When the episode opens up properly, the Final Three contestants are dressed up in their traditional "Legends Of The Hidden Temple" contestant outfits, surrounded by the English Countryside, at the site of the Cadbury Castle in the English County of Somerset. Sniz announces: "Welcome back to the Finale that belongs to 'Total Cartoon Legends!' Now, in my OWN mind, there were several WAYS that I thought this season would end, EACH involving Marlene somehow getting to the season finale. But I must admit, I never ACTUALLY thought that Yakkity AND Spongebob would actually GET to it!" General Barracuda FINALLY regains his energy, and he yells: "See?! SEE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SNIZ AGREES WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The camera pans out, to show that the Final Three contestants are being surrounded by an audience of the FORMER contestants, minus Aang, Dora, Rube, and the Final Three's chosen helpers, and they all simultaneously shout: "SHUT UP, GENERAL BARRACUDA!!!!"


Bubble Bass says: "SERIOUSLY; you're like a BROKEN record! Spongebob is HERE, you LOST; get OVER it!!!!" General Barracuda screams: "You know what?! NO!!!! NO, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and NO!!!! I cannot, and WILL not tolerate that LOSER being in the Final Three! My reputation FORBIDS me from living in ANY universe where that WEAK...WEAKLING can be in ANY competition...let alone THIS one, where he can actually POSE as a VIABLE candidate, let alone one that STANDS to win the Final Three! Luckily for me, I won't have to; since MY contract has LEGALLY allowed me to FORCE every single former contestant, except for Aang, Dora and Future Rube, to come BACK here! Which means that like I was SAYING before I was so RUDELY interrupted; and here she IS!!!!" Tigress, is revealed to BE present, but she currently has EARMUFFS over her ears, a BLINDER over her eyes, and is completely RESTRAINED by the STRONGEST magical restraints EVER created! Tigress moves her head around, and she says: "Uh, Po; I have NO idea what's going on, but I just had a WEIRD feeling that General Barracuda WANTS me to do something bad, just to prove some STUPID point to Spongebob..." and saying as one word, she adds: "...whomayorwhomaynotbeherebuteitherwayit'stotallyfinebecauseIdon'tcareandIwantyouhappy!" Po says: "Tigress has SPOKEN, General Barracuda! You're just LUCKY that she's no longer pregnant and COULD come here on such short notice, and that Master Crane was WILLING to babysit our children! But either way, she's NOT going to fight your STUPID fight for you! Just let your anger go, General Barracuda! Everything that has happened between you and Spongebob in the past, it's time to put all that past behind you!" General Barracuda angrily says: "I'll NEVER let it go!!!! This is for ALL the villains who have EVER been defeated by the STUPID forces of GOOD!!!! I'll show YOU the TRUE power of money!!!! I'm turning THIS into a FREE FOR ALL!!!! WHOEVER can BEAT THAT PATHETIC SPONGEBOB UNTIL HE'S NOTHING MORE THAN A PATHETIC BLOB OF PRIMAL JUICE, I WILL GIVE the CHAMPIONSHIP and GRAND PRIZE!!!!"


Than everyone STARES at Tigress, as she SOMEHOW hears the statement, and beyond ALL expectations, she actually manages to break FREE from her restraints, and her earmuffs and blinder pop OFF of her! Blonda sputters, and she says: "THAT...was the STRONGEST magic I ever USED!!!! NOBODY could break through that magic!" Johnny Krill says: "Uh, I'm gonna go with your OWN standby; 'She's SO super-powerful, she's invulnerable to magic'!" General Barracuda is positively giddy, and says: "Of COURSE she is!!!! I KNEW having Anti-Cosmo WASTE all his magic trying to CORRUPT you would make you INVULNERABLE to all magic! Now it's time to claim your PRIZE, TIGRESS!!!! Make the FOOL SUFFER!!!!" But Tigress angrily says: "NO!!!! You had Anti-Cosmo try to USE me; Master Coelaceanth tried to use me, even I tried to use me, but I will not be USED by ANYONE any LONGER!!!! YOU used to tell me that the only thing WORTHWHILE in this world was WINNING at any cost!!!! But there is absolutely NOTHING that's going to make it worthwhile for me to BETRAY Po's trust in me, and make me ABANDON what I know is right! As far as I can see it, the only FOOL around here, is YOU!!!!" General Barracuda seethes with LITERAL red face anger, and he says: "How DARE you talk to me THAT WAY?!!! Have you FORGOTTEN every single MOVE I ever TAUGHT YOU?!!! HAVE you forgotten EVERY SINGLE physical event I ever had you COMPETE in?! Have you FORGOTTEN how I first took you in when NOBODY ELSE would?!" Po asks: "What is he TALKING about, Tigress? The only reason YOU'VE done anything is to impress your dad!" Tigress sighs, and says: "I suspected this after YOU became the Dragon Warrior and beat Tai Lung, but...I never HAD the heart to open THIS until now." And Tigress hands Po an already opened letter, and Po reads out the letter and reads: "'To Whom It May Concern, we regret to inform you that your birth father, Randy Macho Tiger Savage has passed away. He was apparently so HURT that YOU didn't become the Dragon Warrior, that he died of a broken heart.' Tigress...I, didn't know."


Tigress says: "My real parents didn't have the MEANS to take care of me! That's why they initially gave me to General Barracuda. General Barracuda made me believe that if I just worked hard enough, and wanted it BADLY enough, that one day, my REAL dad would come back for me, and I'd GET the happy life that I always wanted! But ALL that training, all that preparation, all the INSULTS, was it ALL for NOTHING?!!! I always thought if I NEVER opened that letter, that SOMEHOW it wouldn't be true! But...my father is DEAD; and EVERYTHING is WORSE now!" General Barracuda mockingly says: "Ah, boo-hoo-hoo! That cry, cry, cry, weeping sound is DISGUSTING! But that's what you ALWAYS did whenever I YELLED at you for not being GOOD enough! It's no WONDER you DIDN'T become the Dragon Warrior! Why did I ever THINK you had the chance to be the Dragon Warrior?! I thought that I was actually CAPABLE of making you AMOUNT to something! I THOUGHT YOU ACTUALLY HAD A FEW BRAINS!!!! 'GREAT FUTURE', Tigress! A MOTHER to some FOUR future panda/tiger hybrids! Nothing more than a SHELL of what a GREAT martial artist SHOULD be! 'CONGRATULATIONS', Tigress!" Po angrily says: "How DARE you talk to MY wife like that?! You have no RIGHT to do that! And how DARE you treat her as BADLY as you have! YOU'RE the reason Tigress got SO messed up and SO fixated on winning?! And you have the NERVE to insult her NOW, AFTER ALL the GREAT PROGRESS she's made over the YEARS?! While YOU; you've spent all your time FIXATED trying to beat someone YOU perceive as WEAK and USELESS, all because your FRAGILE little ego can't STAND the thought of someone LIKE him might ACTUALLY prove to be good or COMPETENT at something that YOU'RE not!" General Barracuda angrily says: "Like any of YOU are any better?! You're not better than me! You're all FLAWED like me! We're ALL DAMAGED!!!! That's what we are! And there's only ONE way to not be DAMAGED, and that's if you actually WIN!!!!" Squidward says: "You know, I thought that way MYSELF for a long time! I thought that if I just shut myself off from ANYONE who thought differently than me, or didn't behave like me, that one day; things would HAVE to go MY way because of MY genius and talent! But I've ALREADY tried doing that for some 42 LONG years; it DOESN'T work!"


Kowalski says: "Skipper might have some crazy impulses, but HE has never turned his back on loving Marlene!" Private says: "Marlene has helped him become a better penguin, and his plans are better NOW than they were BEFORE he married her!" Kaput says: "I thought being a saboteur would be the best way to help me get through life, until I discovered that the only one I was TRULY sabotaging was myself!" Johnny Krill says: "I TRIED going evil once, since that's what Tigress' behavior towards ME indicated as to that's what I should do, but now I KNOW she only did that because that's what YOU conditioned her to do to others!" Haggis says: "I've been in THIS industry long enough to know that anger does NOTHING in helping you actually SOLVE your problems!" Monster says: "I've found out that only by being TRUE to yourself, and being NICE to others; helps you get what YOU want most out of life!" Snaptrap says: "Even your SON, Bubble Bass; was willing to help me even when I THOUGHT that I couldn't be helped! Now, I finally realize that living with irrational anger and hatred, is no way to go through life! It JUST makes you miserable!" Darwin says: "Even if you actually MANAGED to get your revenge, than what? What would you do than? Do you honestly think that GETTING your revenge would FILL the bottomless void in your heart that you, YOURSELF created? I highly DOUBT that!" Heffer says: "That would be like ME trying to fill the void in my life by EATING! The difference is, I've had TIME to realize MY mistakes, admit them, and do something to fix them! I don't WANT to be a leech to my adopted wolf parents all my life! I...want to be a Camp Master instead!" Bulma weirdly asks: "Camp Master? That's a NEW one!" Judy Funny says: "It's fine if you want to ACT like you HAVE a good reason for being angry! But being angry just because you THINK you can, is no way to go through life, General Barracuda!" Sway-Sway says: "I can speak from PERSONAL experience! I got angry, all because I was jealous that Buhdeuce learned how to fly! I should've been happy that he learned how to achieve something great on his own, as his BEST friend!"


Invader Zim says: "Trying to do something just because you THINK someone else wants you to, is NOT going to make you happy, General Barracuda! Doing something because it's the RIGHT thing to do, is!" Gonard says: "Only by loving someone else in a kind, genuine, appropriate way is EVER going to make YOU feel happy about yourself, General Barracuda!" Blonda says: "I used to think that the only things that matter in this world, were my own beauty, talents, and ego. But now I know that the TRUE way to live a happy life, is to share it with someone who loves you DESPITE your flaws, because they KNOW that you're willing to improve yourself in SPITE of the flaws that you have!" Squidward says: "I've learned that if you go around, irrationally hating someone else just BECAUSE you can; you will ultimately do it alone, and I mean ALONE!!!!" Tigress says: "I almost made the WORST mistake of my LIFE by trying to think like you, by trying to impress you! I now know that I should NEVER try to impress someone who was NEVER going to be impressed, no matter HOW successful I was!" Otto Rocket says: "I might enjoy winning, but even I've learned that winning means NOTHING if you don't HAVE any actual friends that you can hang out with!" Dog says: "Even if you don't ALWAYS succeed in winning, as long as you DO your best and BE your best around others; than your life will STILL be worthwhile!" Zarbon says: "Beauty may easily leave you, but regrets are much harder to do so. Don't be filled with hate and regret; it will NEVER give you what you are seeking!" Super Chum says: "Only by doing things that HELP other people, and doing your best to make the world a better place, will you EVER feel happy with who you ARE, General Barracuda!" Kitty says: "You can't automatically think the WORST of others! If you ALWAYS do that, you'll wind up with NO friends, and no one who WILL trust you! You can't spend YOUR life always thinking like that!" Jenny says: "You can be as smart as you WANT to be, you can even be as TOUGH as you want to be! But those qualities are practically MEANINGLESS without humility and acceptance! I wasn't programmed with those things, but even I have learned just how important those qualities ARE!"


Treeflower says: "The biggest reason I lost was BECAUSE I was so fixated on making someone else LOSE just to stroke MY own ego, I completely missed out on the ability to actually have FUN this season! If I COULD do it all over again, I would NEVER have put MY ego over the ability to have had friends and lasting relationships!" Gerald says: "You can live life, always being paranoid about everything. But if you do, you're going to miss out on ALL that life has to offer you!" Fee says: "I thought I could get by through life without HAVING to learn anything important! But now I know that if you don't learn the truth, however HARD it might be to accept; about everything that you can, you're only hurting yourself in the long run!" Harvey says: "And if on the off chance you DO get angry at someone, you should APOLOGIZE when you realize that they might have honestly NOT known any better! Because people don't always know when they've done something wrong! You have to be KIND and forgiving if you WANT them to learn from their mistakes!" Daggett says: "I made many of MY mistakes because I was so stubborn on NOT listening! But I've learned than when you're NOT listening; you'll just wind up making the SAME meaningless mistakes over and over again!" Pearl says: "If you HELP other people out, you'll end up helping YOURSELF out; because you're not just making someone else's life better, you're making your OWN life better by being altruistic!" Bulma says: "I've spent most of MY life walking around, thinking I was SMARTER than everyone else; but now that I'm (mutters her age under her breath), I now know that it is NOT a good idea to do that! Because if you ACT like you're smarter than everyone else, even IF you actually are, you're just setting yourself up to be BLINDSIDED when people turn out to BE smarter than you THINK they are!" Keswick says: "It's not always easy, but you CAN overcome your own flaws! Maybe it MIGHT be hard work, but the pay-off is ALWAYS worth it in the end!" Taotie says: "In the end, anger will end up making your OWN life more miserable than anybody elses! I don't want to see anyone making the same senseless mistake I made by being senselessly angry!" Stimpy says: "Even if you CAN'T forget and SHOULDN'T, you should ALWAYS be willing to forgive!"


Sandy says: "I learned that you CAN'T underestimate the abilities of other people! Even if they can't and don't WANT to do the same things you do, they have other ways of being great all on their OWN!" Larry says: "It's FINE to have a strong body, but you should also have a kind mind and a good heart, if you want others to like you in a good way!" Wally says: "Even if the people you love can't always BE around with you; love is important to have because it's the greatest meaning in life to love someone else who loves you back in a good, healthy way." Chameleon says: "I can change into anybody, but I wouldn't WANT to change into something I'm not; and I would never WANT to change into an irrationally angry being ever again!" Bubble Bass says: "I've been in some episodes of 'Spongebob Squarepants' where I've done things that I'm not proud of; but I've NEVER acted out of sheer malevolence, and did things just for the sake of doing them. Often, I did it as an opportunity for Spongebob to grow and develop as a character." Po says: "I may have become the Dragon Warrior, but even I don't always need to WIN! If someone has a need more noble than yours, you should always tray and help them out in their goals!" Dudley says: "Even if you MAKE a mistake, it's not a waste of time if you can LEARN from it, and become better DOING the things you LIKE to do!" Buhdeuce says: "Only by experiencing something, can you learn how to do something, and eventually become good at doing it!" Yakkity says: "When all is said and done, I do things because I LOVE; my mom and grandma among many others, and I know that they will love me back as long as I try my best!" Spongebob says: "We're all on the same page on this subject, General Barracuda. We ALL want to have this world be a better place than when we found it!" Marlene says: "And we PLAN on doing it, either WITH or WITHOUT you!" Bubble Bass says: "And if the future version of my son were here, I'm SURE he'd feel the same way! So do you WANT to be part of the positive change, or not?!"


General Barracuda ruminates, as if honestly THINKING about the whole situation, and he says: "That is utterly...SICKENING!!!! You ALL sound like pages from some kind of stupid self-help book! If I WANTED to read a Self-Help book, I'd read a piece of complete and UTTER fiction like THE--!" Sniz says: "Be careful with your NEXT word! Just because YOU think it's fiction, that doesn't mean other people will think so! People have DIED fighting for what they believed in, EVEN if that belief was actually wrong!" General Barracuda angrily says: "BARNACLES!!!! Now I forgot what I was GOING to say next! But it's ALL irrelevant! Spongebob would NEVER be able to fight his way through the Olmec altered Castle of Cadbury in order to FIND the Holy Grail, especially when he has to get past ME, and The Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh! And PLEASE don't MAKE the subtitle people have to subtitle THAT one again, they had a hard enough job subtitling all of YOUR dialogue!" Marlene says: "Luckily for me, Skipper actually THOUGHT ahead for once, and prepared me with a little device for just SUCH an occasion!" Marlene pulls out a very familiar object, hands it to Spongebob, than she gives a piece of paper to Yakkity, and Marlene says: "Read it, and WEEP; General Barracuda!" And Yakkity reads aloud: "'And thus Skipper spake'--whatever 'Spake' means--'saying; First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Than shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, except that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, than lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch'--Antioch, California MAKES Holy Hand Grenades?!!!--'towards thy foe, who, being naughty in MY sight, shall snuff it'." Marlene says: "You heard it, Spongebob! Pull out the pin, and count to three!" Spongebob pulls out the pin, and says: "One, two, FIVE!" Yakkity says: "NO; than THREE!!!!" Spongebob says: "THREE!!!!"


And Spongebob THROWS the Holy Hand Grenade, and not ONLY does he blow up The Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh!, it causes the GUEST animators who were ANIMATING them, who ALL happened to be unapologetic JERKWADS who worked for "Teen Titans Go!", to suddenly (but not at all unexpectedly), suddenly and IRREVERSIBLY die from heart attacks! Marlene turns to Spongebob and says: "Spongebob, WHY did you say, 'Five'?!" Spongebob says: "Well, it's very hard to NOT think something when someone tells you NOT to think it; that's like ASKING to HAVE someone think of it!" Bubble Bass says: "That's...actually a pretty logical reason why he THOUGHT that!" General Barracuda says: "Be that as it may, Holy Hand Grenades are VERY rare and expensive; and you won't be ABLE to get the Holy Grail--." Buhdeuce asks: "The Holy Grail?!" General Barracuda sputters, and he says: "Haven't I MENTIONED that's what THIS Legend is ALL about?!" Sniz honestly says: "Uh, no. Everyone was kind of BUSY trying to HELP you, and you rebuked them NEEDLESSLY!" General Barracuda says: "Well, this IS The Legend of The Holy Grail! Thought that I should SAY what the Legend was at least ONCE! And you won't be able to FIND The Holy Grail, or get past ME, unless you answer my questions THREE!" Bubble Bass rolls his eyes, as though he CAN'T actually BELIEVE that General Barracuda actually THINKS he will succeed, but decides to roll with it anyways! Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "Very well, than. Give it your best shot!" General Barracuda says: "Immediate family, first! What is your name?" Bubble Bass says: "Horratio Barracuda the Second, AKA Bubble Bass." General Barracuda asks: "What is your quest?" Bubble Bass says: "To seek the Holy Grail." General Barracuda asks: "What is your favorite color?" Bubble Bass says: "Green!" General Barracuda says: "Than you may pass!" And Bubble Bass goes into Cadbury Castle. General Barracuda turns to Sandy, and asks: "What is your name?" Sandy says: "Sandy Cheeks Squarepants!" General Barracuda asks: "What is your quest?" Sandy says: "To seek the Holy Grail." General Barracuda asks: "WHY did Warner Bros. waste TEN years of EVERYONE'S time INCLUDING their own trying to promote 'Teen Titans Go!'?!" Sandy honestly says: "I don't KNOW--(SPROING!!!!)--THAT!!!!" And Sandy Cheeks is flung far away!!!!


General Barracuda turns to Bulma, and he asks: "What is your name?" Bulma says: "Legally, Bulma Briefs!" General Barracuda asks: "What is your quest?" Bulma says: "To seek the Holy Grail." General Barracuda asks: "What is your favorite color?" And without even THINKING, Bulma just says: "Green! No! (SPROING!!!!) BLUE!!!!" And Bulma is flung far away!!!! General Barracuda honestly says: "Wow, I thought SHE would have really GOTTEN that one!" Than General Barracuda turns to Marlene, Spongebob, and Yakkity, and General Barracuda asks: "What are your names?" Marlene says: "Marlene!" Spongebob says: "Spongebob Squarepants!" Yakkity says: "Yakkity Yak!" General Barracuda asks: "What is your quest?" And Spongebob, Marlene, and Yakkity all simultaneously answer: "To seek the Holy Grail!" Than General Barracuda gets a DEVIOUS grin like Chuck Jones' version of "The Grinch," and he maliciously asks: "What is the weight of the average swallow?!" And Spongebob immediately asks: "Is that an African Swallow, or a European Swallow?!" And General Barracuda is STUMPED as he's NOT sure which one Spongebob WOULDN'T know, so he says: "Well, I don't--(SPROING!!!!)--KNOW!!!!" And General Barracuda is flung far away! Blonda chuckles, and she says: "I took a little magical precaution, and rigged it so that even General Barracuda would be flung away if he couldn't answer correctly!" Bubble Bass comes back, and he gives Blonda a BIG hug, and he says: "Blonda, I am SO glad I married you! Don't EVER lose that spunk!" Blonda shrugs, and she says: "Eh, it's a fair cop." Spongebob says: "So General Barracuda is gone for good?" Sniz says: "As far as THIS season is concerned he is! But, Johnny Krill has expressed NO interest in taking HIS place for next season, so we'll just get General Barracuda some Anger Management and set up some kind of SHOCK system on him if he EVER pulls any stunts like that in any FUTURE seasons of this show!" Marlene says: "Well, that's good to know!"

Sniz says: "Well, we've exhausted ALL the time we COULD'VE spent crossing a moat OR going down the Steps of Knowledge, so we'll just skip STRAIGHT to the Temple Challenge, which is also the Final Challenge! Who can FIGHT their way and claim the Holy Grail?!" Tigress says: "Well, I obviously COULD have GIVEN it a shot...not for General Barracuda's sake, but because I felt like it!" Zarbon says: "Well, no SANE person is going to argue the capabilities of YOUR strength; not after what YOU displayed this season, anyways!" Sniz says: "Well, unfortunately; we've had to spend an unexpected LOT of money for this season, even by OUR standards; so I'm afraid the only FINAL challenge we could afford was getting past a bunch of Sea Bunnies, like the ones Spongebob is familiar with." Yakkity is ABOUT to say something, but Marlene QUICKLY moves her hand in front of his mouth, and she says: "WAIT for the CATCH to come!" Sniz says: "Who's homes have all been infested by NEMATOADS! So, needless to say; they are all LITERALLY, Hopping Mad!" And true enough, all the Sea Bunnies stop hopping around all agitated and crazy! Fee screams: "AHHH!!!! I always KNEW my FATE would be determined by a crazy, killer rabbit; just like that CRAZY Gypsy said! I always THOUGHT she meant DADE, though!" And everyone LOOKS at Blonda, as if expecting HER to do something! Blonda says: "Don't look at ME; I exhausted all of MY magic for today, poofing up Tigress' restraints AND rigging General Barracuda to be launched away!" Kitty Katswell says: "Oh, I'd accept help from ANYTHING right now!"

And an unexpected, squeaky voice suddenly says: "Did somebody say ANYTHING?!!!" And a familiar, jaunty tune comes by in a black and white steamboat, as coconuts are LAUNCHED at the Sea Bunnies, and "Steamboat Willy" Mickey Mouse is whistling his familiar tune! Bubble Bass turns to Blonda, and he says: "I thought you said you DIDN'T have anymore magic for today!" Blonda says: "That's an even HIGHER power! Copyright protection expiration! Thank you, Sonny Bono!" And all of the Sea Bunnies are conked out with coconuts! Spongebob says: "Thanks for the help, 'Steamboat Willy' Mickey Mouse!" "Steamboat Willy" Mickey Mouse says: "No problem, everybody gets ONE; and thank you for using me in a RESPECTFUL matter unlike SOME people!" And "Steamboat Willy" Mickey Mouse sails away! Yakkity turns to Spongebob, and he says: "Well, I guess it's finally time to determine..." Than he looks around, and he asks: "Hey! Where did MARLENE go?!!!"


And from inside the Castle , Marlene shouts: "I've got it! I've got the Holy Grail! I've actually GOT the Holy Grail!" Bubble Bass says: "Run for the entrance, Marlene! Run straight for it, and don't stop til you get here!" And to the musical tune of "I've Got A Golden Ticket", Marlene successfully runs to the castle, holding the Holy Grail in her hands, and she says: "I've got it! The Final Legend of this season, the Holy Grail is MINE!!!!" Wally sputters, and he says: "WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's NOT the way that either the second 'Monty Python' film OR the third 'Indiana Jones' film ended!" Marlene says: "So? You want to tell a story your OWN way, go make your OWN series! And SPOILER ALERT, it's a LOT harder than it looks!" Yakkity shrugs and says: "Eh, I'll settle for third place! You've had a LOT more character development THIS season than I have, Spongebob! You deserve Second Place more than I do!" Spongebob blushes and he says: "Thank you! But truth be told, I couldn't have had most of my character development without all the other contestants on this season; EVEN Aang, Dora, and Future Rube, wherever they are!" Johnny Krill asks: "So, what happens now; Sniz?" Sniz says: "Well, we've exhausted all the Legends that WE wanted to do for this season! Luckily for us, I've already got the NEXT season already lined up! We're going to NEVADA, to a city called Paradise; where anything and EVERYTHING under the sun might and possibly WILL happen, and eliminations may all be determined by LUCK, not just skill! We haven't figured out who will compete in it yet, but it will be interesting!" Marlene asks: "As interesting as ME actually WINNING this half of season 4?" Sniz honestly says: "Well, it will be interesting in its OWN way! Well, this season might not have COMPLETELY gone the way I thought it would; but it sure WAS an intersting ride! Good-bye for now, and Fondue, General Barracuda, and I will see you NEXT season on 'Total Cartoon Paradise City'!" Olmec says: "And thank you for ALL the Legends!" /

Stinger: General Barracuda has found a floating Mine Cart in the ocean, the SAME Mine Cart used by Aang and Snaptrap earlier this season, and he's floating on the ocean; thinking about all the time he wasted on irrationally hanging Spongebob, and whether it was worth the time he spent instead of trying to get to know his son or his grandson better, all while The Eagles' hit song, "Wasted Time" plays in the background. Don Henley sings: "Well, baby, there you stand; with your little head down in your hand. Oh, my God, you can't believe it's happening again. Your baby's gone, and you're all alone and it looks like the end. And you're back out on the street. And you're tryin' to remember. How do you start it over? You don't know if you can. You don't care much for a stranger's touch, but you can't hold your man. You never thought you'd be alone this far down the line. And I know what's been on your mind; you're afraid it's all been wasted time. The autumn leaves have got you thinking about the first time that you fell. You didn't love the boy too much, no, no; you just loved the boy too well; well, well. So you live from day to day, and you dream about tomorrow. And the hours go by like minutes, and the shadows come to stay. So you take a little something to make them go away. I could have done so many things, baby. If I could only stop my mind. From wonderin' what I left behind. And from worrying 'bout this wasted time! (Musical Break) Another love has come and gone, and the years keep rushing on. I remember what you told me before you went out on your own, 'Sometimes to keep it together, we got to leave it alone.' So you can get on with your search, baby; and I can get on with mine. And maybe someday we will find, that it wasn't really wasted time!" (Musical Finish) / Episode Notes: Season Finale of "Total Cartoon Legends", Marlene wins first place, with Yakkity settling for third, and letting Spongebob have second place. "Steamboat Willy" Mickey Mouse makes a cameo appearance in this episode, due to his copyright protection FINALLY expiring! Featured songs in this episode are Lenny Kravitz's "Are You Gonna Go My Way", and The Eagles "Wasted Time". The episode makes several references to "Monty Python And The Holy Grail". /


Eliminated Contestants: 46. Kowalski. 45. Private. 44. Kaput. 43. Johnny Krill. 42. Haggis McHaggis. 41. Monster Krumholtz. 40. Aang. 39. Verminious J. Snaptrap. 38. Darwin. 37. Heffer Wolfe. 36. Judy Funny. 35. Sway-Sway. 34. Invader Zim. 33. Gonard. 32. Blonda. 31. Squidward Tentacles. 30. Dora the Explorer. 29. Tigress. 28. Otto Rocket. 27. Dog. 26. Zarbon. 25. Super Chum. 24. Kitty Katswell. 23. Jenny Wakeman. 22. Treeflower Fields. 21. Gerald. 20. Fee. 19. Harvey Beaks. 18. Daggett Beaver. 17. Pearl Krabs Barracuda. 16. Bulma Briefs. 15. Keswick. 14. Taotie. 13. Stimpy J. Cat. 12. Sandy Cheeks. 11. Larry The Lobster. 10. Wally. 9. Future Adult Rube Goldfish. 8. Chameleon. 7. Bubble Bass. 6. Po. 5. Dudley Puppy. 4. Buhdeuce. 3. Yakkity Yak. 2. Spongebob Squarepants. 1. WINNER: Marlene Otter! /


Personal Notes: Honestly, I should have known right from the start that I was "Tempting Fate" LAST season, by making the Alternate Ending of Season 4A where Private wins, than DECLARING that there would never BE another season where a contestant from "The Penguins Of Madagascar" would ever WIN another season of the "Total Cartoon" series. But in MY defense, I had 45 OTHER contestants vying to be the winner this season, and I HONESTLY thought that I'd be able to find ANOTHER female contestant who would prove to be a compelling winner! Eventually though, I decided to let Marlene have the win; mostly because unlike Yakkity and Spongebob, she didn't GO through as much Character Development as they did this season; and the only way to really JUSTIFY her being in this season, was so she eventually GOT the win, and all on her own terms! That's why I decided to end this season the way I did! I'm not sure when I'll start the next season, but this will be the place WHERE I will start it! Enough said, true believers!

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Get ready folks, because this season is going to pretty much START...with a BANG!!! / Fondue is flying the "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" jet, and Sniz is also in the cock-pit, and he says: "Welcome to the newest season of the Total Cartoon franchise, that we're calling Total Cartoon Paradise City! Once again, I am your host; Sniz Brokowski, and once again, back in co-hosting duties, is Fondue!" Fondue says: "It's about TIME since I got back onto this show full-time! I had to miss the LAST half-season all because of that STUPID court order!" Sniz says: "Well, serves you right for hiring Anti-Fairy help when I SPECIFICALLY said that it was going to be a bad idea! In any case, that won't be a problem for this season! We are currently en route to Paradise, Nevada; with our roster of contestants for this season! And what we were really surpised by the list of contestants who applied for this season, is that we DON'T have any returning contestants from previous seasons, and the contestants THIS season are all brand new! Makes me kind of glad that we ARE going to Paradise, Nevada for this upcoming season! It's the TITLED Paradise City of this season in case you haven't guessed! And this season, our contestants are going to have to rely on both skill AND luck if they want to make it past ALL the other challenges, 13 of their rival contestants, and get their hands on the grand prize of $1.4 million in cold hard cash!" Fondue asks: "What happened to the $44.44 million from LAST season?!" Sniz says: "Two reasons. A., the amount of contestants and challenges in this season is a lot shorter than the last season; therefore, the grand prize is a lot smaller to account for the shorter amount of contestants and challenges. And B., we OBVIOUSLY can't afford to give away $44.44 million in grand prize money EVERY season; we don't HAVE unlimited resources, you know!"

Fondue shrugs, and he says: "Fair enough." Sniz says: "Anyways, it's time to tell YOU, the audience, what you can expect for this season! Now, I know there are SOME of you out there who might like something a little more 'Slice of Life' from the Total Cartoon franchise. But you see, we here at the Total Cartoon franchise, never EVER do anything, 'Slice of Life'. We always do everything, CRAZY, CHAOTIC, and COOL!!!! So what we plan to do, is we're going to start OFF this season, CRAZY, CHAOTIC, and COOL; and we plan to FINISH it, CRAZY, CHAOTIC, and COOL; not necessarily that ORDER!!!!" (Sniz's cell phone rings!) Sniz says: "Hang on, I got to take this call!" Sniz answers his cell phone, and he says: "Sniz Brokowski here! (Indistinct chatter) Woah, woah, WOAH!!!! Slow down, okay! Now take a deep breath, and say that AGAIN! (Indistinct chatter) HE'S made it BACK to the mainland, SERIOUSLY?!!! (Indistinct chatter) And he's on his WAY to Paradise, Nevada; now?! I wonder how my new team of Challenge Helper's is going to take THAT news?! (Indistinct chatter) I don't know EITHER, COSMO, but I PLAN on calling them right now! You're LUCKY that I've learned how to SPEAK 'Moron' so that I DON'T have to fire you this time!" Sniz hangs up his cell phone, than dials a number, and Sniz says: "I sure hope my new team of Challenge Helper's is FINISHED setting up for us at Paradise, Nevada; because I HAVE to tell them the news, whether they WANT to hear it or not!" /

Meanwhile, at an abandoned storage building in Paradise, Nevada, a bulky-framed woman wearing a slimming black spy suit, is approaching what SHE needs; the actual Steamboat from "Steamboat Willy"! Using a voice changer, she discreetly activates a communicator, and she says: "Target is acquired. Are you ready on your end?" A man, using a voice changer on HIS end, speaks through the communicator, and he says: "Of course I am, but do we really need to use THIS Steamboat?! We've already got plenty of OTHER abandoned casino ideas in our lot already, and why do we NEED to use THAT one, anyways?!" The woman says: "Apparently, Sniz's reasoning is that since DISNEY can no longer exclusively use it, it's free to ANYBODY who wants to use it, so; we might as well put it to good use! Now, throw me the wench cables!" Wench cables are thrown through an open window, and the woman jumps up to catch them before they hit the ground, making as little noise as possible! Swiftly and surely, the woman attaches the wench cables to the Steamboat almost without a sound! The woman quietly says: "Yes, it's done!" At that moment, a loud cell phone rings: "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!" And alerts a bunch of LITERAL security bots to her presence! The woman groans, and says: "Oh, FISH PASTE!!!!" And than she yells: "NOW!!!!" Without a second to spare, the woman jumps onto the steamboat, as an engine whirs, and the sound of Judas Priest's "You've Got Another Thing Coming" plays in the background!

Judas Priest sings: "One life, I'm gonna live it up! (The woman is blasting the many security bots coming after her with an electric discharge pistol). I'm takin' flight, said I'll never get enough! (The wench cables PULL the Steamboat straight THROUGH the side of the building, and the wench cables are revealed to be attached to a helicopter on the other end). Stand tall, I'm young and kinda proud! (A bunch of shots blast OFF the woman's mask, revealing her to be BONNIE BASS, Bubble Bass' mother!) I'm on top as long as the music's loud. (Bonnie Bass climbs to the top of the steamboat to get a better angle to shoot at the security bots). If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by, you're thinkin' like a fool 'cause it's a case of do or die!" (Bubble Bass, propelled by his bubbles, comes out of the helicopter towards his mother). Bubble Bass shouts: "Can you use a fin?!" Bonnie says: "Thought had crossed my mind!" Judas Priest sings: "You've got another thing comin'!" Bubble Bass says: "Eat bubble BOMBS, you lame-o bots!" And Bubble Bass THROWS bubbles shaped like bombs that manage to EXPLODE like regular bombs, destroying a bunch of security bots! Judas Priest sings: "That's right, here's where the talkin' ends!" Bonnie asks: "THIS is the song YOUR wife picks?!" Judas Priest sing: "Well listen, this night there'll be some action spent!" Bubble Bass says: "Hey! She's not just a wife; she's an actress/model/mother!" Judas Priest sings: "Drive hard, I'm callin' all the shots!" Blonda, revealed to be piloting the helicopter says: "I may be mortal, but I can STILL use magic!" Judas Priest sings: "I got an ace card comin' down on the rocks!" And with her free left hand, Blonda uses her magic wand to blast away some more security bots! Judas Priest sings: "If you think I'll sit around while you chip away my brain; listen, I ain't foolin' and you'd better think again!" Blonda says: "Hold on, it's going to be a BUMPY land!" Blonda and the others pass through an INVISIBLE force field, and the remaining Security Bots CRASH and explode on contact with it! Judas Priest sings: "You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'!"

Blonda sets the Steamboat on a large, artificial lake, in the center of a theme park called "Paradise City", Bonnie pants, and wheezes as she says: "This stuff is SO much harder than the way your FATHER makes it look!" Bubble Bass says: "He's YOUR husband, to! Be THANKFUL that it's HIS connections that got us a job for THIS season! How were the Security Bots alerted to YOUR presence anyways?!" Bonnie says: "That's right! The cell phone call, I nearly forgot!" Judas Priest sings: "Oh, so hot; no time to take a rest, yeah!" Bonnie picks up her cell phone and answers it, and she says: "Whatever it IS, Sniz! It BETTER be super IMPORTANT! My SON and I had to go through a CRAZY aerobatics act to get that steamboat, and--!!--WHAT?!!! MY HUSBAND is back in TOWN?!!! And you expect US to help him with his Anger Management lessons?! That's crazy!" Bubble Bass says: "No crazier than ME walking around in NOTHING but bubbles!" Toddler Rube climbs out of the helicopter, and he says: "And no crazier than my MOM using her magic to give ME the ability to speak EARLIER than I would have!" Blonda says: "I'll tell YOU what's crazy; this FINISH!!!!" Judas Priest sings: "If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by, you're thinkin' like a fool 'cause it's a case of do or die! Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had; if you think I'll let it go, you're mad! You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'! You've got another thing comin'!" / And the rocking song ends! /

In the series intro, a bunch of renovated casino, amusement theme parks pop up out of the ground (or in the steamboat's case, the water), Cosmo holds an old-fashioned clap-board, shuts it down and the action zooms in on Sniz driving a fancy gazebo through his Amusement Park, as the action pans above the sky to the "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" plane, where Freddy Ferret falls out, but lands safely in the water. He's pulled out by Guapo Flubb with a fishing rod in a boat, who is pleased with his catch, but his brother Franz Flubb is right in the boat WITH Guapo, and Franz tries to wangle away the fishing rod from Guapo; but in the struggle, Freddy Ferret is flung away from the fishing rod, until he lands in Abby's arms, as she is singing a song that makes Gordon Quid, Squidina, and a bunch of local desert (and exported, exotic animals) smile; until Plankton (wearing a small mecha-suit that makes him about Spongebob's size) runs by laughing maniacly, but he doesn't look WHERE he is running, and runs off a cliff, down towards Skeeter Valentine who is busy making funny faces and sounds on a log over the artificial river, until Plankton lands on him, and they BOTH fall in the water. This causes a nearby Karen to face-palm her computer screen face in frustration, while Henry comes out of a nearby dressing room to see what the commotion is. In the nearby mess hall, General Barracuda is STRUGGLING to get through Anger Management lessons (and getting SHOCKED while he wears a shock collar whenever he fails), so his family of Bonnie, Bubble Bass, Rube, and Blonda can't help but laugh; while Fondue grabs some grub in order to SHUT UP Sheen Estevez's latest UltraLord trivia tract, while a very ANNOYED Lori Loud gives Fondue a look which says "Don't even THINK about serving me that food!" Outside the mess hall, Squilivia finishes running a race, and Squilliam Fancyson rushes to congratulate her with flowers and chocolates, only to get knocked INTO the mud by Abby and Freddy Ferret, who were NOT watching where they were going! The camera pans to Blonda, Bubble Bass, and Toddler Rube, who proceed to put on a spectacular bubble and fireworks show, that segue into the night. The camera pans down on Plankton and Karen, as they're about to share a rare moment of romance, only to be RUINED when Squidina decides to capture the moment with a Selfie on her cell phone! The camera pans out to reveal Sniz, Fondue, General Barracuda, Bubble Bass, Bonnie, Toddler Rube, and all of the contestants, sitting around an outside bonfire, while Amusement Park letters turn on, and says: "Total Cartoon Paradise City, Created By Jason Cantu;" and the sequence ends when the Guns N' Roses song "Paradise City" ends! /

Guns N' Roses sing (an edited version of) their song, "Paradise City": "Take me down to the Paradise City; where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home? Take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home? (Instrumental Break) Just an urchin living under the street, I'm a hard case that's tough to beat. I'm your charity case, so buy me something to eat. I'll pay you at another time, take it to the end of the line! Rags and riches, or so they say, you gotta keep pushing for the fortune and fame! You know it's all a gamble when it's just a game. You treat it like a capital crime, everybody's doing the time! Take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home? Yeah-yeah! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh won't you please take me home? Yeah-yeah! (Guitar solo) So far–away, so far–away; so far–away, so far–away! Captain America's been torn apart, now! He's a court jester with a broken heart! He said, 'Turn me around and take me back to the start'. I must be losing my mind; are you blind?! I've seen it all a million times! Take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home, yeah-yeah! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home; yeah-yeah! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh won't you please take me home, yeah-yeah! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home?! Home! Yeah! I wanna go, I wanna know! Oh, won't you please take me home?! I wanna see, how good it can be! Oh, won't you please take me home?! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home?! Take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home?! Take me down (oh yeah), spin me around! Oh, won't you please take me home?! I wanna see, how good it can be! Oh, won't you please take me home?! I wanna see, how good it can be! Oh, take me home?! Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Oh, won't you please take me home?! I wanna go, I wanna know! Oh, won't you please take me home?! Yeah!" / And the epic song ends! /

"You've Got Another Thing Comin'!" The camera opens back up on the "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" plane, and Sniz says: "Welcome back to Total Cartoon Paradise City; we're just 15 minutes away from Paradise, Nevada; which gives us just enough time to get acquainted with our 14 contestants who are about to embark on a 14 episode journey with us this season! How prepared are they to face this season?! We will soon find out!" The camera pans to the main cabin, where the contestants are mentally gearing themselves up for the upcoming season...well, SOME of them are, anyways! And Skeeter says: "Yeah, Doug couldn't believe it EITHER when I turned out to be smarter than HE is, either! I mean, I certainly couldn't believe it; since I'm such an oddball! Honk-honk! I mean, when I talk, I often can't help making Beep-Beep! strange sounds like that Ooga-Ooga! And the like! That's one of the reasons I Ring-Ring! Signed up for this season, so maybe I can Boop-Boop! Get a hold on controlling it!" Sheen says: "Genius you may be, but you are POWERLESS before the ultimate power of Ultra Lord, famed protector and HERO of the universe, who protects the powerless and the weak, for a fair, but honest wage because HE'S got to eat TO, you know!" Franz Flubb says: "What I DON'T understand is, WHY do I got to compete on this season with YOU, anyways?!" Guapo Flubb says: "Come on! You're ACTING like this is one of those trips to one of those planets that we DON'T know anything about! We KNOW where we're going to THIS time; it's Planet Earth! And this time, I'm 85% SURE that we WON'T run into ANYTHING that can bite, chew, mangle, burn, massacre, chomp, gnash, cut, bruise, maim, scar, peck, scratch, claw, choke, electrocute, drown, strangle, punch, kick, or bleed us, or ANY and ALL possible combinations of the above!" Gordon Quid does an air-fist pump, and he says: "FINALLY! After FIVE seasons of trying, I'm FINALLY a contestant on this show! Maybe if I do well enough as a contestant THIS season, maybe it will get the Human Kimberly to fall in love with me!" Henry scoffs, and he says: "YOU'RE in love with actress Amy Jo Johnson; a former Power Ranger?!"

Gordon asks: "Who said anything about an actress?! I'm talking about Human Kimberly, a human girl who is my EXACT age!" Henry gets a puzzled look, than seriously asks: "Just HOW old are you; anyways?" Gordon says: "I'm six, the PERFECT age for a cat to get married! Why?" Henry face-palms himself, and he says: "Bro, you're going to be in for a WORLD of complaints and a HORRIFYING realization when YOU figure out the truth!" Gordon asks: "What truth?" Henry says: "If you HAVE to ask me, you'll never know!" Abby comes waltzing by, and he says: "Don't knock the guy down just because he has a weird love! I mean, I love my Otis even THOUGH he has a rare, genetic disorder which gives him female cow udders!" Henry asks: "THAT'S a genetic disorder, and NOT the animators being STUPID?!!!" Abby says: "Who said anything about animators? All I know for sure is that, I LOVE Otis genetic disorder or none, and I'm competing on this show to show him just how GREAT of a girlfriend/future potential wife I will be to him!" Squilliam Fancyson, utilizing an Inner Monologue, says: "Look at ALL these worthless morons, talking and chatting as if THEY actually have a chance to BEAT me! They won't! I thought for SURE that Squidward was LYING when he said that HE got to be a contestant on this show! If I had known that THIS show was THAT desperate for contestants, I would've signed on and got on before HE had! But no matter, I'll still last longer than he EVER did easily! Especially since I'm SURROUNDED by IDIOTS whose combined intelligence don't even equal 1/44th of MY intelligence, and my intellect and superior skills is going to run CIRCLES around those metaphorical, and in one case, LITERAL Protozoans without breaking a sweat!" Plankton yells: "HELLO!!!! I'm RIGHT HERE!!!! We can HEAR every single WORD that you are SAYING!!!!" Squilliam asks: "That was out LOUD?!!! I was SURE that conversation was ONLY taking place in my MIND; not that it matters in the slightest, none of you have an intellectual chance against me anyways!"

Karen face-palms herself, and she says: "Oh, BROTHER!!!! If I had a NICKEL for every time some BLOW-HARD like Bulma said they were going to use THEIR intellectual prowess to beat everyone else, I'd have...TWO nickels!!!! Which...isn't a lot, but it's WEIRD that it's happened twice, right?!" Plankton says: "You SAID it, Karen! But why did YOU want to come on this season with me, anyways? I've got MORE than enough intellect and EVIL for the both of us!" Karen sighs, and she says: "I'm ONLY along, to see that you don't get into TOO much PAIN and TROUBLE!!!!" Plankton says: "The trouble part? I highly DOUBT that! But PAIN?!!! That's the one thing I hate more than anything else! You're hired!" Karen says: "I HAVE to be, I'm the ONLY woman, digital or otherwise, who is EMPLOYED by you!" Squidina Star says: "I'm SO excited to BE a contestant on THIS show, aren't you?!" Lori Loud, sitting right next to her, opens up a compact make-up case, and not even CHANGING her bored expression in the slightest, she sarcastically says: "Biggest thrill of MY life!" Squidina TOTALLY doesn't get her sarcasm, and she says: "I know, RIGHT?! My older brother competed on THREE seasons of this show! He technically WON the third season, but he gave up his title so that Reggie Rocket could have it!" Lori rolls her eyes, as if not BELIEVING her story, and Lori asks: "And I suppose that the reason why YOU'RE competing is to WIN the title that he gave away?" Squidina, gets a hurt, nervous look, and laughing nervously, she says: "Well, yeah; kind of! I'm mostly doing this as an apology to my Home Economics Teacher, long story; and while it's one thing to run a show--which I do very well--but it's another entirely to BE a contestant on the show! That's the main reason why I'm here, to gain valuable LIFE experience!" Lori Loud actually gets a DEVIOUS smile on her face, and she says, "Oh, I'll make SURE you'll get a valuable life experience; one way or another!" Freddy Ferret nervously asks: "So, uh; Squilivia, is it?" Squilivia says: "Yes, I am." Freddy nervously asks: "You, uh, aren't worried about this competition TOO, are you?" Squilivia says: "DEFINE; 'Worried'."

Freddy nervously says: "Well...what if you're nervous...say, for example, that you harbor a ROMANTIC love for a rooster that you could NEVER eat, not even if your OWN life depended on it, and you just want to marry that rooster and despite ALL odds, have weird, but adorable ferret/rooster hybrid children together despite the fact that MOST ferrets and roosters would probably never accept THAT?!!!...Which is TOTALLY not the reason that I'm NERVOUS at all! I'm nervous about something else! Like...taking a walk on the beach! Or a good book! Or...the beach!" Lori gets exasperated, and she says: "You said 'Beach', twice!" Freddy nervously says: "Well, I...thought of it twice!" Skeeter Valentine imitates a drum kick and says: "Duh-duh-duh-duh!!!!" Lori rolls her eyes, and she says: "I am SO over that drum kick NONSENSE!" Squilivia says: "Well, if I AM nervous about ANYTHING, I'm keeping THAT nervousness to myself! You can be completely honest with YOUR weird rooster love--." Freddy nervously says: "Who told I was in love with Peck the Rooster!!!!" Karen bluntly says: "You kind of did, just now!" Freddy nervously says: "I wasn't telling anybody anything! I was just...thinking out loud!" Henry says: "VERY loud!" Abby says: "Come on, Freddy! Nobody at our barnyard thinks of YOU any different for WHO you love!" Freddy says: "Yeah, AT our barnyard! What I fantasize about doing...which I won't mention in order to keep our PG rating...with a guy who MAY or MAY not be Peck; is NOBODY'S business OUTSIDE of OUR barnyard except MY business and the guy who MAY or may not be Peck!" Squilivia says: "And THAT is why you are GOING to lose to ME, because your mind is on who you love and NOT the competition! The only thing I've got MY eyes on, is the Grand Prize itself!" Squilliam turns around, and actually NOTICES Squilivia for the first time, and his heart nearly jumps FROM his heart cavity up to his THROAT, but he STOPS it from exiting out of his mouth and FORCES it back down, and Squilliam romantically says: "Woman, where have YOU been all MY life?!" Gordon groans, and he says: "OY! And I thought I was love-struck!"

Squilivia turns around, and she says: "Excuse me?" Squilliam romantically says: "I never before realized just how...incredibly GORGEOUS a woman who looks a LOT like ME, could look like!" Henry face-palms himself, and he loudly asks: "THAT'S the best pick-up line you can come up with?! Even I could do BETTER than that, and I haven't even DATED yet...unless you count June, and I sure don't!" Squilliam romantically says: "You're so...tall, attractive, squishy, with not a stray hair out of place on your head. Your...radiant beauty would perfectly compliment MY utter perfection!" Squilivia gets weirded out, and says: "Look; I appreciate your ATTEMPT to be nice and friendly with me; but the thing of it is; I'm not EXACTLY looking for a--." But Squilivia DOESN'T get to finish her thought, as Sniz loudly  announces over the loudspeakers: "Conversation time is over, contestants! We're five minutes away from the Drop Zone! So named because we are LITERALLY going to drop you to where our competition is being held! So, I suggest you hurry up and grab your parachute bags! But be warned; COSMO was the one who prepared them, and I can't FULLY guarantee that ALL of those parachutes are going to be working parachutes!" Sheen Estevez says: "Not to worry! Ultralord doesn't fear pain, and neither do I!" Lori Loud scoffs, and she says: "I'm sure YOU don't!" Sniz says: "Not to worry! If you DON'T get a working parachute, and you can't grab onto somebody who HAS one, Wanda is LEGALLY required to magically slow you down so that you can land safely, and WHERE you land, will determine which team you're going to be on this season!" Franz Flubb says: "Out of my way, I NEED a working parachute and a team AWAY from Guapo! And he shoves everyone else out of the way and grabs the first parachute bag he can, and everyone else quickly grabs a parachute bag, with Guapo nervously being the last one to grab one! Sniz says: "All right, contestants; we're 30,000 feat above the target zone; plenty of time to open up a parachute, or grab onto a contestant who has a parachute! Contestants, you're on!"

Squidina says: "Yes! CHALLENGE!!!!" Gordon says: "Here we go!" Franz Flubb says: "On YOUR tail!" Sheen Estevez says: "BANZAI!" Skeeter imitates trumpet fan-fare and says: "Duh-duh-duh-DUH!!!! DUH!!!!" Freddy goes up to the door, but holds himself back, before he goes out of it! Abby confidently says: "Go on, Freddy! Show THEM your stuff!" Freddy says: "You know, that burst of confidence is all the convincing I need to ACTUALLY do this! SURF'S UP!!!!" Abby turns to everyone else and she says: "Catch you on the flip side!" And the other contestants jump out of the plane, as a familiar Tom Petty hit song, "Free Fallin"; plays while everyone is falling. Tom Petty sings: "She's a good girl, loves her mama. Loves Jesus and America to. She's a good girl, who's crazy 'bout Elvis. Loves horses and her boyfriend too. And it's a long day, livin' in Reseda; there's a freeway, runnin' through the yard. And I'm a bad boy, 'cause I don't even miss her. I'm a bad boy for breakin' her heart. And I'm free, free fallin'! Yeah I'm free, free fallin'! All the vampires, walkin' through the valley, move west down Ventura Boulevard. And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows, and the good girls are home with broken hearts. And I'm free, I'm free fallin'! Yeah I'm free, free fallin'! Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a; Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin'. I wanna glide down over Mulholland. I wanna write her name in the sky. I'm gonna free fall out into nothin'. Gonna leave this world for a while! Now I'm free, free fallin'! (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a) Yeah I'm free, free fallin'! (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a) (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a) Yeah I'm free, free fallin'! Oh! (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a) Free fallin'! (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a) And I'm free, oh, free fallin'! (Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin', I'm-a Free fallin', I'm-a free fallin'.") /

And the song ends as everyone tries to open their parachutes, only Skeeter gets a plunger and imitating sad trumpet fan-fare says: "Wah-wah-wah!" Sheen Estevez gets a giant INFLATABLE UltraLord doll, and he says: "I KNEW UltraLord would SAVE the day!" And Skeeter has to quickly grab ON to the Inflatable UltraLord doll! Franz Flubb says: "Come on, parachute!" But he opens it up, and he gets a 16 TON ANVIL!!!! Franz screams: "Are you FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!!" But Guapo opens HIS parachute, and it's a normal parachute, and Franz seeing no BETTER alternatives, grabs onto Guapo, and Franz begrudingly says: "I guess you're not COMPLETELY useless!" Gordon Quid opens up his parachute, only to get a 20 ounce bottle of root beer! Gordon says: "You know, I normally LIKE root beer, but this is not the time or place!" Abby opens up HER parachute and she says: "Grab onto me, we can float down together!" Gordon says: "I'll be fine! Cats ALWAYS land on their feet!" Henry opens up his parachute only to pull out an actual LIVE Thunder Girl! Henry says: "I got YOU?!!!" Thunder Girl triumphantly says: "Thunder Girl, will fly you to safety, before you do hit ground!" Henry says: "Normally, I'd argue about how thunder technically can't fly, but I'm TOO desperate to be picky!" And Thunder Girl grabs Henry by the waist underneath his arms, and flies him down to the ground! Squilliam Fancyson opens up his parachute, but it turns out to be a GIANT TIKI HEAD like the one Squidward lives in, and a recorded voice FROM Squidward says: "It took me 25 years to pull this off, but the Karma YOUR getting is SO worth it!" Squilliam screams: "What did I EVER DO to DESERVE THIS?!!! (BEAT) I MEAN, SPECIFICALLY?!!!" Squilivia opens up HER parachute, and she says: "Quick, grab my tentacle!" Squilliam asks: "Which one?!" Squilivia not having TIME to think, says: "ANY of them!" And Squilliam DESPERATELY grabs as many of her tentacles as he can, and Squilivia says: "I said, 'ANY', not 'ALL'!!!!" Gordon says: "Technically speaking, 'All' IS 'Any'!" And Skeeter imitates another drum kick and says: "Duh-duh-duh-duh!!!!"

Karen opens up her parachute, and she says: "A functioning parachute, MY analysis is once again 100% correct!" Plankton opens up his parachute, but gets a HUGE (even for his tiny mecha) Chum Bucket, and he screams: "KAREN!!!! DO SOMETHING TO HELP ME!!!!" Karen BRIEFLY considers it, but she says: "No, I'm NOT going to help you. In fact, I'm NOT even going to call the Hospital for you, because you WON'T learn anything if I do!" Squidina opens up her parachute, and she says: "Yes! I AM the brains in MY family!" Lori Loud opens up her parachute, but gets Sergio the Parrot! Lori says: "It's not like YOU have a lot of competition!" Lori in desperation, grabs Sergio, who STRUGGLES to float the both of them down! Lori says: "Fly faster, fly harder; fly, FLY!!!!" Sergio says: "Excuse ME, Lori, how FAST and how FAR would you have to fall before YOU reach Terminal Velocity?!" And Lori quickly gets HIS point, and shuts up, and he says: "That's what I thought!" Freddy opens his parachute, but INSTEAD gets Peck's molten rooster feathers! Freddy says: "Cosmo TOO?!!! WAIT!!!! I still have time; I can make this work!" And weaving the molten rooster wings together, he makes a pair of make-shift wings, and is able to glide safely down to the ground. Freddy says: "Oh, THANK you Peck! Who would have ever thought that the fact that you molt would actually SAVE me?!" And everyone else eventually lands on the ground safely, with Skeeter, Sheen, Gordon, Henry, Karen, Lori, and Plankton (landing painfully as he yells: "OUCH!!!!") landing in a symbol area with a Green Crocodile, and Franz Flubb, Abby, Squilliam Fancyson, Guapo Flubb, Squidina Star, Squilivia, and Freddy Ferret landing in a symbol area with a Pink Flamingo! Sniz comes flying down in a working jet-pack, and he says: "Congratulations on MOST of you landing safely, except Plankton!" Karen looks at Plankton, as she picks up Plankton off of the ground, and back on his Mini-Mecha feet. Karen says: "I wouldn't worry about him, he's been through MUCH worse! Trust me on THAT one!"

Sniz says: "In any case, where you landed; now represents the teams you will be representing this season! Everyone who landed on the Green Crocodile emblem, is now a member of the Killer Crocodiles!" Plankton recovers, and he says: "Oh, YEAH!!!! I'm a KILLER Crocodile! Let Mr. Krabs TRY and STOP me NOW!!!!" Skeeter imitates a crocodile, and he says: "Chomp-Chomp!!!!" Sheen says: "No, no, no! That's a space ALLIGATOR from episode 238 Section A of 'The Ultra Lord Show'!" Henry seriously asks: "Were there EVEN 65 episodes of 'The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron', let alone YOUR failed spin-off?!" Sheen asks: "WHO'S the Ultra-Lord expert and President of his Fan-Club?!" Gordon rolls his eyes, and says: "You are!" Sheen says: "That's right! And don't you forget it!" Lori groans, and she says: "I don't think we will be ABLE to forget it even if we WANTED to, because I'm SURE you will be reminding us every FIVE SECONDS!!!!" Sheen scoffs and says: "I don't talk about--!!" Sheen catches himself as he REALIZES Lori is LISTENING, and Sheen struggles, and says: "...HIM; that much! I can STOP talking about WHAT'S HIS FACE anytime I want!" Henry asks: "How about FOREVER; can you DO THAT?!!!" Sheen says: "I said, 'ANYTIME', not 'FOREVER'!" Sniz says: "Technically speaking, 'Forever' IS 'Anytime', and DON'T make a drum kick sound, Skeeter!" Skeeter gets a dejected look, and imitating the "Losing Horns" sound from "The Price Is Right", he says: "Duh, duh, duh, duh, wahhhhhhh!" Fondue says: "Should've let him do the drum-kick!"

Sniz scoffs, and he says: "He'll live! And everyone who landed on the Pink Flamingoes emblem, is now a member of the Fearless Flamingos!" Guapo says: "Of COURSE we are! Who could be more fearless than WE are?!" Franz angrily says: "Maybe YOU'RE fearless, but I'm not! I just want to get through this STUPID competition, win the STUPID $1.4 million as quickly and PAINLESSLY as possible, use that money to hire my OWN flight partner to deliver packages with, and NEVER have to be in PAIN with YOU again as long as I live!" Guapo throws his hands up in the air, and he asks: "What did I ever do to HIM?! Well...maybe I did SOMETHING to warrant his anger...nothing comes to mind at the moment." Abby says: "I actually AGREE on my being fearless! No matter what comes my way, I face it fearlessly, and bravely!" Squilliam scoffs, and says: "EXCUSE me; 'Fearlessly', and 'Bravely' are the exact SAME adjectives!" Abby says: "Irrelevant! Doesn't make it any less true!" Squidina says: "Exactly! My brother might not ALWAYS know what he talks about, but at least he's smart enough to know that I always know what I'M always talking about, and he respects my knowledge to help him make HIS show the best it can be, even if we had to experiment to get to what it currently is!" Squilivia says: "I'm just hoping that my being a Fearless Flamingo will put me in a good position to win the grand prize! I'm NOT going to be arrogant like Tigress, and I'm NOT going to be full of myself like Bulma was! I will play this season on my own terms!" Freddy gets an idea and says: "Playing on your OWN terms? That...actually sounds like a GOOD idea!" Sniz says: "Well, you can play on your OWN terms, as LONG as they fall within OUR rules! Speaking of, New Rule we are implementing from THIS season onwards! Thanks to Spongebob Squarepant's stunt of voting for himself in challenges where he HAD immunity or a pendant to nullify his own vote; from now on, you will no longer be allowed to vote yourself off in elimination ceremonies. You have to either outright quit, be eliminated by Med Evac, do something SO dangerously bad or illegal to FORCE you to be barred from the competition, or be voted off by your fellow contestants!"

Squilliam gives everyone else the once over again, and he says: "Yeah, I don't think there will be any worries of THAT happening for ME this season; especially since I have Squilivia to look forward to!" Squilivia says: "About that, what I was saying BEFORE I was interrupted--." Sniz says: "You'll have plenty of time to talk LATER! Besides, this season, you probably WOULDN'T want to vote for yourself anyways! Because this season, not only will SKILL be involved; Luck will ALSO be a big factor in determining the winner this season!" Sheen asks: "How is THAT possible?!" Franz Flubb scoffs, and says: "Judging by HIS luck, I'd say, 'Not for long'!" Gordon says: "Like YOU'RE one to talk!" Franz says: "Same to YOU, buddy!" Guapo gets in between the two, and says: "Guys, we're all REASONABLE adults here...Squidina and OBVIOUSLY Plankton excluded!" Plankton yells: "How DARE you lump me in with HER?! I'm much more...adultish than what's her face there!" Karen sarcastically says: "BRILLIANT English skills there, Mr. College Goer!" Plankton genuinely says: "THANK YOU!!!!" Karen yells: "That WASN'T a compliment!" Plankton says: "I'm STILL going to take it as one!" Karen rolls her electronic eyes, and says: "Somehow, I FIGURED you would!" Sniz says: "Anyways, like I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted; the way it's going to work this season, is that like always; the two teams will fight against each other which will pit your athletic and mental skills against each other, in games that revolve around both a good factor of skill and luck! After each challenge, the team that loses will have to vote someone off in an Elimination Ceremony! You will use the Play Token of the contestant you want to eliminate, as long as it's not yourself, into the Slot Machine! Once all the Token's have been inserted, we will give chocolate coin tokens to the safe contestants. However, the Luck Factor will kick in on the last two contestants! Since this is Nevada, where luck plays a factor in more things than usual in the rest of the world, the last two contestants will have to face each other in a Luck Showdown!"

Henry asks: "What's a Luck Showdown?" Sniz says: "The last two contestants will be asked to hit a magical floating dice block above their head, provided by Wanda. The dice block will give you any number between 1 and 10, as long as it's a whole number. And don't worry; there's NO chance of a tie! Wanda has magically made it so that whoever gets a number first, the other contestant CAN'T get it. Whoever gets the highest number, will be safe from elimination! Whoever gets the lowest number, REGARDLESS of whether they got the most amount of votes or not; don't blame me, blame your own luck or lack there-of, will be eliminated by our brand-new, state of the art, totally ROCKING, LITERALLY blast-worthy, elimination soaring...CANNON! CANNON! CANNON! CANNON! OF! OF! OF! OF! SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!" Sniz pauses and hears an echoing: "CANNON OF SHAME! CANNON OF SHAME! CANNON OF SHAME! CANNON OF SHAME!" Sniz says: "Pretty clever, huh?" Freddy actually finds it funny, and laughs; and he says: "Haven't seen THAT gag in a while!" Sniz says: "And per our usual tradition, we would appreciate it very much if every now and than, you make a Confessional, so the TV audience can know your personal thoughts! This time, the normal Confessional will take place in our state of the art, all you can eat cafeteria buffet...for the right price of course! However, if you ARE eliminated; once you are shot out of the Cannon of Shame and land, you will have to make an Elimination Confessional. That officially means you are OUT of the Contest and you can NEVER come back EVER!" And Skeeter nervously says: "GULP!!!!" Lori sarcastically says: "That's actually the most SENSIBLE thing that I've heard HIM say so far!" Abby still doesn't GET Lori's sarcasm, and Abby says: "It's not so much, 'Sensible', more like it's an exclamation of nervousness." And Lori face-palms herself in frustration!

(Confessional) Freddy Ferret says: "So, I was thinking about what Squilivia said, about playing the game on her own terms. I suppose if I want to have a real shot of winning, I better play on my own terms to! Look, the truth of the matter is, that I really DO love Peck the Rooster romantically...a lot! I mean, how could I not?! He's got the prettiest eyes, the most gorgeous feathers, and when he gives you a rooster smile...makes a ferret like me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Besides, Stimpy, Dog, and Bubble Bass ALL played for the love of someone else to SOME degree, and they all won! If I play for the love of Peck, I figure that I at least HAVE a decent shot! Besides, I've learned by watching from other contestants, that trying to keep the truth under wraps, no matter for WHAT reason you might have; NEVER tends to end well! So, when the right moment presents itself, I'll tell EVERYONE the truth about how I feel about Peck; than I'll be able to play the game with...well, at least one LESS thing to worry about!" / Sheen says: "The only terms of the game that I want to be playing on are UltraLord's! But...since I don't know where he currently is, I suppose that I have to do the best I can, playing the way that UltraLord would play this game! Now, I know I might not be as smart as Jimmy, or as tough as Tigress, or as resourceful as Bubble Bass, or as pretty as Zarbon, or as strong as Larry, or...now that I think about it, I REALLY thought I would be able to come up with SOME really great trait to fall back on in my analogy! Eh, I guess I'll just have to be as heroic as Super Chum! That's MY best shot of winning this season!" / Franz Flubb scoffs and he says: "Miss Boom-De-Ay might be FORCING me to work with Guapo to promote HER delivery service; but when all is said and done, I'm NOT doing this game because I particularly ENJOY being employed by her WITH my brother! (Guapo sticks his head in WITHOUT Franz even REALIZING it) My boss only hired HIM because SHE finds HIM more attractive than ME! How THAT is even possible; I'm not sure I even WANT to know! All I know is, with the prize money that I win, I can afford to make my OWN delivery routes; delivery routes where I WON'T be subject to pain, misery, and be FORCED to laugh at Guapo's idea of what he calls 'Jokes'!" And Guapo quickly zooms OUT of the Confessional without Franz even noticing! /

Guapo gasps in shock, and he says: "I can't believe my OWN brother would actually THINK that! First off; Miss Boom-De-Ay actually finds ME attractive? First time I've EVER heard THAT from her! But more importantly; how can Franz HATE working with me THAT much?! I mean, do I ever put HIM into danger, on PURPOSE?! There's SUPPOSED to be some risk in delivering packages to planets most OTHER explorers don't go to! That's the whole REASON why they call it 'Mostly Unexplored Space'! Expecting there to be zero danger and zero risk, is like expecting EVERYTHING in life to be handed to you on a Silver Platter, and where's the real joy and gratification in THAT?! Everybody's got to start somewhere; there's no WAY Franz could be THAT close to the bottom as HE seems to think he is! But the way he talked?! He seems to THINK like he deserves to be as rich and successful as Orson Welles as Charles Foster Kane in 'Citizen Kane'! And SPOILER ALERT, neither the title character's life nor Orson Welles' life DON'T really end that well!" / Gordon Quid asks: "What in the world does Henry find WRONG with me loving a girl my OWN age? Even if she IS a human, I've certainly NEVER pressured her to do anything she doesn't WANT to do! If she WANTS a relationship with me, she can have it on HER terms in the way SHE wants! That's the way a TRUE gentleman has a relationship with someone THEY like, hopefully romantically!" / Henry scoffs, and he says: "Am I going to be the one to break the AWFUL truth to Gordon? Absolutely NOT if I can avoid it! I learned a long time ago, that if you MESS with the relationship of a couple, no matter how ONE-SIDED it is, you do it alone! And I mean ALONE!!!!" / Abby says: "Originally, I actually auditioned to be on 'Total Cartoon Global Cruise'. But apparently, they already HAD all the singing characters they wanted or they needed for that season. Even if it's not REQUIRED, I do hope we get the chance to DO some songs this season! I mean, we're in NEVADA; one of the entertainment capitals of the world! If you CAN'T sing here, I'm not sure WHERE you can sing!" /

Squilliam Fancyson scratches his chin, and he says: "Hmmm, I wonder WHAT Squilivia WANTED to tell me before she was so RUDELY interrupted? Who am I KIDDING?!!! She OBVIOUSLY wants to tell me that she's ABSOLUTELY NUTS about a guy like me! And quite frankly, you can't BLAME her! I'm SMARTER than Squidward, AND more attractive, and I don't live next to two brain dead idiots who gave UP a title of winning a season of this show and genuinely LOST a chance to win a title of a season of this show respectively!" / Squilivia groans in frustration, and she says: "I'm not sure if Squilliam would understand, or how well he would take it...IF he takes it well at all, but I simply can't AFFORD to have a relationship this season! I know in terms of how these seasons have panned out, historically; contestants who didn't PLAY for someone they love didn't tend to do very well. But as far as I'm concerned, that means that this show is OVERDUE for someone who played AND won this game WITHOUT doing it for love! Besides, I have a healthy, non-ceited love for myself as a woman, and as a cephalopod. And that's all the love that I really need at the moment!" / Plankton says: "You really want to know why I'm competing on THIS show? It's because I'm SICK and tired of always somehow losing to Mr. Krabs and his PATHETIC excuse for employees; especially when only ONE of them is almost CONSTANTLY loyal to Mr. Krabs no matter what Mr. Krabs does! I figure that with the prize money I WILL earn when I finally WIN this season, I will be able to PAY scientists to find a way to make my Chum more edible, more healthy! And most importantly, more profitable! That way, I wouldn't NEED to waste my time with suffering pain and agony trying to unsuccessfully steal Mr. Krabs' Secret Formula, I'd have my own! And just LET Mr. Krabs try to steal MINE! Boy, will HE be in for a nasty SURPRISE!!!! MWA, HA, HA, HA!!!!" / Karen groans, and she says: "Evil gloating, first sign of a villain on a fast track to losing, and losing BADLY!!!! Does Plankton WANT to be the first contestant to be booted OFF of this show?! If so, he's doing a very good job! It's a good thing I signed on for this season to use my patented analysis abilities! The way I see it, he's going to NEED every ounce of computer data processing power that I can muster!" /

Squidina says: "So...this is the first time I'm USING this Confessional thing...which I...guess is sort of obvious! I really THOUGHT that I would have something more CLEVER to say for my first time here. But now that I AM here, I'm kind of STUMPED! I mean, my brother, for his MANY short-comings and flaws; made speaking in a Confessional look SO easy! And for me it's like...HARD! I guess, that's just one of those skills I'm going to have to get the hang of! Nobody ever SAID competing in this game was going to be easy; but when was the last time anything TRULY fun and rewarding, was ever easy? I'm sure there have been SOME things in history...nothing comes to mind at the moment." / Lori is busy powdering her noes, and she says: "Look, I HAVE to win this season! Hello! I am 18 years old, and I am SO done living in an over-crowded house with ten other siblings! Whenever any of MY younger siblings, and my siblings are ALL younger than me; whenever they HAVE a problem, which TRUST me, is OFTEN; whenever Mom, or Dad, or someone SMART isn't available; they almost always run to me, crying and WHINING for me to solve their problems! I'm the OLDEST sister; I'm not THEIR magical Nanny or whatever, flying down on an umbrella to give them sugar with their medicine! Besides, that's not healthy OR that recommended! Besides, if ANY member of the Loud family had a CHANCE of winning one of these season's, it's GOING to be me! I AM the oldest, the smartest, AND the most attractive; and I don't dye my hair black or white like SOME of my siblings do!" / Skeeter, as if riffing off the LAST comment, immitates the familiar sound of "You Can't Do That On Television", and says: "Da-na-na-da-na-na, na!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Now that we've gotten your first Confessionals out of the way, it's time to meet some of our new Contestant Helper's, who helped build Paradise City and put everything in their proper place. And they will ALSO be helping judge and referee this season as needed."

Bonnie Bass jogs in, wearing her trademark track suit. Bubble Bass floats down in on bubbles, and Blonda and Toddler Rube both magically 'Poof' in. Squilliam asks: "These are YOUR helpers?!" Bubble Bass says: "Watch what you say! By MY calculations, I've actually managed to get FAR more screen-time than YOU have on Spongebob Sqarepants alone by this point! And unlike you, I at least HAVE some humility and empathy, and I KNOW when I NEED to give it!" Squidina says: "OOH, he's got you THERE, Squilliam!" Squilliam says: "Don't talk to ME like YOU'RE a somebody; I make it a point to have as LITTLE social contact with LOSERS as is universally possible!" Sheen says: "Don't look now, you're already LOSING!" Henry actually STOPS, and thinks: "Wait a minute, is Sheen talking about LOSING to a Loser; just losing in general, or losing this challenge?" Karen says: "If I HAD to guess, my analysis tells me its some combination of all of the ABOVE!!!!" (Confessional) Henry says: "If that's NOT an Achievement In Ignorance, I don't know WHAT is!" / Sheen says: "Jimmy Neutron once told me that even a broken clock is right at least twice a day...whatever THAT means! Fortunately for me, UltraLord has a clock that is SO atomically precise, the odds that it is EVER wrong, are so astronomically low, as to be next to IMPOSSIBLE of ever actually happening! I just got to have the mind set of a heroic winner, and eventually; I'll win!" / Franz Flubb says: "And I thought that Guapo had some 'Insane Troll Logic'!" / Guapo says: "Insane Troll Logic? Is THAT what he's calling my reasoning skills now?" / Bubble Bass says: "Believe me, I'm just as surprised as ANYBODY to be back on this show, even if I'm technically WORKING and not a contestant! But I'm apparently so popular 'In-Universe', Sniz wanted to have me back, even if I wasn't a contestant! So this time, I brought my WHOLE family along! Of course, if I had known that it would eventually include...my father who I love VERY much in spite of flaws he SAYS he doesn't have; I probably would've asked for MORE money up front!" / Blonda says: "Taking care of a magical, talking fish toddler? That's ONE thing! Having to deal with Bubble Bass' Father?! That's a different beast entirely! And the only reason why I can say THAT is because I HAVE magic! Otherwise, I wouldn't recommend it, at ALL!!!!" (End Confessional)

And as if on cue, loud stomping is heard, and it causes the lake to ripple! Sheen asks: "Is that a Space Tyrannosaurus Rex from Episode 1, Section A of 'The UltraLord Show'?!" Franz screams: "STOP MAKING BARF UP!!!! You're WORSE THAN MY BROTHER!!!!" Abby says: "How DARE you?!!! If you WEREN'T Guapo's brother, and I DIDN'T respect Guapo as a man honestly TRYING to do his best, and I weren't such a PROPER lady, I'd SLUG you!!!!" Franz says: "Try it and GET a Penalty Vote or four! I DARE--!!!!" But Franz NEVER gets to finish his thought, as he his decked HALFWAY across "Paradise City" by General Barracuda, who begins getting SHOCKED by a Shock Collar! Sniz sighs, and says: "And that's our...final Contestant Helper for this show. Our own Horatio Barracuda the First! But play it smart, and call him General Barracuda; you'll LIVE longer!" General Barracuda says: "AGH!!!! Why am I--AGH!!!!--Getting shocked by this--AGH!!!!--STUPID--AGH!!!!--COLLAR!!!!--AGH!!!!" Sniz groans, and he says: "General, I went OVER this on the phone with you. Your irrational anger with Spongebob LAST season was TOTALLY uncalled for, and what did it ACCOMPLISH? You FAILED to stop Spongebob from playing in the Final Challenge, and he STILL lost honestly ANYWAYS, without ANY outside assistance from you!" General Barracuda says: "Still doesn't explain--AGH!!!!--Why I'm--AGH!!!!--Having to wear this--AGH!!!!--STUPID--AGH!!!!--THING!!!!--AGH!!!!" Sniz says: "Look, Bonnie, Bubble Bass, Blonda, and Rube ALL agreed to be on this season to help YOU with your Anger Management lessons, in order for Bonnie to want to STAY married to you, and for Bubble Bass and Blonda to WANT you in the life of Rube! And to make sure you're actually LEARNING how to express your anger in a HEALTHY way and not EXPLODE irrationally at the drop of a hat, I had Blonda poof up a little extra insurance for you! An Automatic Anger Shock Collar to mildly shock you whenever you get irrationally angry. OR, whenever we need a good laugh! Sound fair?"

General Barracuda scoffs, and without a single TRACE of sarcasm, he says: "You're kidding, right?! Do you have ANY idea on what MY life was like working for Master Coelaceanth?! He fitted ME with a Shock Collar in order to turn me into a rational, compassionate fish so that I wouldn't threaten to strangle any new help who wanted to work for him. TOTALLY worked like a charm!" Bonnie sighs, and says: "That's sadly, one of the more HONEST things I've ever heard him say." Sniz says: "Regardless, that Shock Collar is going to stay ON General Barracuda until he learns HOW to express his anger properly! Oh, and don't get ANY funny ideas about trying to REMOVE that Shock Collar! That Shock Collar is designed to give you SO much pain if you try to FORCIBLY remove, it will KNOCK you into a coma...until Nintendo finally decides to RELEASE the 'Earthbound' sequel from the Game Boy Advance! Boy, never thought I'd LIVE to see the day where I actually HOPED that 'Tempting Fate' would actually WORK!" General Barracuda groans, and he says: "Fine! I'll...try to behave and become a better fish!" General Barracuda, as if mustering ALL his available strength, points to Bubble Bass, and says: "I'll...do it...for...HIM!!!!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Wow! I never thought I would LIVE to see the day when I would become SOMEBODY'S 'Morality Pet', let alone my own Father's! If that kind of crazy thing can happen on the FIRST episode of this season, who knows what other kinds of crazy things can happen?!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Contestants, it's time to pack your bags. The Killer Crocodiles with stay at our replica Luxor Hotel; the Fearless Flamingos will stay at our replica Flamingo Hotel. We got to take a break, but when we come back, we will do our first challenge of Total Cartoon Paradise City!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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It's time for the second and final part of my episode, "You've Got Another Thing Coming!" / After the commercials end, the contestants are looking at the Steamboat, now painted in BEAUTIFUL colors, but they are puzzled as to why the Steamboat looks like it's starting to sink into the man-made lagoon! Sheen says: "I've seen some weird things on 'The UltraLord Show', but he's NEVER gone on an adventure like this!" Gordon asks: "Is THAT the only thing you get REFERENCE from?!" Sheen asks: "Is there anything ELSE worthwhile?!" Henry rolls his eyes and says: "I could think of SEVERAL things that are just as equally, if not MORE worthwhile; but for the sake of time and interest, I won't mention them here." Franz waves his hand eagerly, and he cheerfully says: "All right! VERY VALUABLE contestant right here, come up and get in an alliance with me--NOT GUAPO!!!!" Abby scoffs, and she says: "With THAT snotty attitude?! Not if you were the LAST...whatever you're supposed to be from WHATEVER planet you're originally from!" Squidina says: "I agree. A GOOD alliance comes from building trust and GIVING as much as you are GETTING!!!!" Franz sputters in disbelief, and he says: "You're KIDDING, right?! Do you have ANY ideas on how many dangers I've FACED on MY space deliveries with Guapo?! This is NOTHING in comparison!" Guapo groans, and he says: "Franz, that's the whole 'Tempting Fate' thing I keep TRYING to tell you about; you're NEVER going to WIN against it!" Franz says: "Don't give me that CRAP!!!! If ANYBODY deserves to tempt fate and WIN, it's going to be ME!!!!" Squilliam mocks Franz and says: "'If anybody deserves to tempt fate and win, it's going to be me!!!!" Than Squilliam talks normally, and seriously says: "Seriously, that's what you SOUND like! Do you even LISTEN to yourself when you TALK?!!!" Freddy says: "I sure wish YOU did!" Abby says: "BURN!!!!" Sniz says: "PLEASE pay attention, contestants! It's time to reveal what your first challenge is going to be for this season! And trust me, there's a very good reason this Steamboat is currently slightly submerged!" Squilivia says: "I sure hope so!"

Sniz says: "There definitely is! You see, we thought that for our very first challenge, we would simulate what would happen in a DISASTER like setting! We've simulated this Steamboat running aground, and it is now going to sink! What your job will be, is two fold. First, we've assembled a random batch of supplies from the 'Paradise City' Lost and Found." Lori scoffs, and says: "How can there be ANYTHING in the Lost And Found?! This is our FIRST day here!" General Barracuda angrily says: "DON'T--AGH!!!!--MAKE ME--AGH!!!!--HIT YOU--AGH!!!!--HARD--AGH!!!!" Fondue says: "Horatio, you're FAILING again!" Bonnie shakes her head and says: "Honestly, I don't know WHY we thought THIS was ever going to work!" Bubble Bass says: "It could STILL happen! It's only the FIRST episode of this season! He's got PLENTY of time to improve!" Blonda says: "Well, at the rate things are going, I think he's going to need ALL the time he can get! The question is, what's going to happen first; General Barracuda learning how to express anger rationally, or Rube learning how to eat solid foods first?" Toddler Rube says: "I just found out that Mustard on Ice Cream tastes REALLY funny; I sure hope that Squidward doesn't think I'd make a regular habit out of it!" Blonda says: "I'm REALLY banking on RUBE to learn how to eat solid foods, first!" General Barracuda groans, and he says: "EVERYBODY'S a critic in this town, EVEN my own family!" Blonda says: "I just tell it like it is, Pops!" General Barracuda gives Blonda a weird glance, and he asks: "You're ENJOYING this, aren't you?!" Blonda says: "ONLY a LOT!!!!" General Barracuda says: "I'll give you points for honesty." (Confessional) General Barracuda asks: "When exactly did I start getting old and START getting tired of fighting? It used to be that I wouldn't get tired of fighting over ANYTHING! But now that I'm married, and now that I have a grandkid, it seems like I don't have as much time to spare as I used to. I'm losing my luster, and this Shock Collar sure isn't helping matters. Why did I EVER have to start a STUPID grudge with Stupidbob--AGH!!!!--Loserpants--AGH!!!!--anyways?!" / Blonda says: "The only bright side to General Barracuda constantly failing, is that Wanda's waving arm for wish-casting is sure getting a good workout!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Look, it doesn't matter WHY we already have a Lost And Found; the point is, we have one. And you're going to have to use whatever you think is useful, to help make your way from the bottom of the Steamboat, to the top where safe land is. But while you're climbing, be sure to watch out for debris being thrown by General Barracuda, because we will be simulating a 6.5 earthquake!" Franz scoffs, and he asks: "Can you even simulate a 1.5 earthquake?!" Sniz groans, and he yells: "WANDA!!!!" Wanda groans in frustration, waves her wand, and sure enough, the ground shakes underneath Franz's feet, and he falls FLAT on his face!" Bubble Bass says: "Ask a stupid question, get a STUPID answer!" (Confessional) Guapo says: "For anyone keeping score at home, that's Fate: 27; Franz: Zero!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "So anyways, the challenge will be simple enough; be the first team to get ALL of your contestants to dry land first, and you will win immunity for the day. The other team will have to vote someone off TONIGHT!" Franz gets up and dusts himself off. Franz says: "ALL of our contestants?! So, that means Guapo HAS to help me finish safely!" Guapo gets offended, and he says: "Of COURSE I'd help you finish safely! Has ANY of our adventures EVER put you in peril before?!" Franz loudly says: "YES!!!!" Guapo THINKS about it, and realizes he CAN'T argue against that, so Guapo says: "Okay, but did you ever STAY in peril?" And Franz gets a horrified look, and the wind gets COMPLETELY taken out of his sails! Guapo says: "That's what I thought!" (Confessional) Franz says: "Man, I HATE it when HE'S right! Why can he NEVER be WRONG when I WANT him to be?! It would be NICE if it happened ONCE, just ONCE; that he's WRONG when I want him to be!" / Guapo sighs, and says: "Yeah, I'm going to have to get Franz into Therapy to find out why he's being such a grouch...AFTER we've won some challenges! Hopefully, knock on wood, Franz can just keep his temper in check for a while! After all, HIS chances of winning $1.4 million depend on it, to!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Contestants, you've got ten minutes to collect and assemble your tools. So, START collecting!!!!" And Skeeter imitates trumpet fan-fare, and he says: "Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh-duh-duh!" (Confessional) Sheen cringes, and he says: "Yeah, even I am finding THAT annoying, and I know more about UltraLord than I do about the subjects I learn in school. Of course, it's not MY fault Miss Fowl is so BORING! If she had a little more energy and passion like UltraLord, MAYBE I would be more interested!" / Gordon says: "If our team loses this challenge, I may HAVE to vote Skeeter off on PRINCIPLE!" / Henry says: "Sometimes, quirkiness is a sign that you're really useful. Other times, it just gets in the way of any USEFULNESS you can provide to a team that you're working with!" (End Confessional) And not having anytime to think, the contestants of the two teams grab whatever items look best to them, empty the Lost And Find out, and go to their team emblems to organize their items. At the Fearless Flamingoes emblem, Abby says: "Look, it's obvious not ALL of us are seeing eye to eye on everything! But, if we DON'T want to lose, which I'm SURE at least MOST of us don't; than we're going to have to put our differences aside and work together!" Squilliam asks: "Isn't the solution OBVIOUS?! We make a statue, a HUGE statue! A wonderful, glorious MAGNIFICENT statue in MY likeness to showcase MY superiority over Squidward, AND a symbol of MY undying love for Squilivia!" Squidina scoffs, and she asks: "Does Squilivia even LIKE you?!" Squilliam asks: "How could she not?! Anybody with a BRAIN stem is ATTRACTED to a man who has money and power, and I have BOTH, and SHE knows it! Of COURSE she's attracted to me; RIGHT?!!!" Squilivia's face twitches, and she says: "This just got...awkward." Guapo says: "Even if we WANTED to build a statue, which I'm sure FRANZ doesn't..." Franz says: "FINALLY!!!! Something WE both agree on!" Guapo continues: "We don't have the necessary materials or tools needed to construct such a thing!"

Freddy says: "I've found a bunch of hay stuck together!" Squidina asks: "What good would that do?" Freddy says: "Well, one hay needle by itself is weak, but a BUNCH of hay needles bunched together is strong! If we make a hay rope that's thick enough, and long enough; we can attach one end from the bottom of the boat, to the top!" Squilliam asks: "One question, HOW is the hay rope going to GET to the top?!" Freddy says: "I'll climb it there! Ferrets are EXCELLENT climbers! My parents use their climbing skills to sneak into chicken coops all the time! I've OBVIOUSLY never done that; but it looks like my climbing skills WILL be useful for this!" Abby says: "I can totally vouch for that! Freddy is our man...and ferret!" Squilivia says: "All right, than! We're all counting on YOU to see us through!" (Confessional) Freddy says: "Look, if I want to prove that I'm a viable contestant, I HAVE to take risks and put myself out there! After all, most good things in life don't come to YOU! Most of the time, you have to go and WORK for the things you love! I love Peck, and I will go to ANY legal and ethical means to PROVE my love for him!" / Abby says: "Back at the Barnyard, we usually go to Otis whenever we have a problem that needs to be handled. But...since Otis isn't here, I sure am glad Freddy is stepping up to the plate. Of course, I'm not sure what's will happen; if it eventually boils down to a challenge between him and me, but I'll worry about that only if and/or WHEN that time comes, and not before!" / Squilliam says: "Well, I suppose there ARE less dignified ways to win a challenge...none come to mind at the moment." / Franz says: "As long as I DON'T feel pain, I'm perfectly okay with this!" / Gaupo groans, and he says: "FRANZ; all this 'Tempting Fate' is going to get you into TROUBLE someday, and I'm not sure IF I'll be able to help you...or if I'll even WANT to at the rate YOU keep talking! You MAY be my brother, but even a NICE guy like me has to set SOME healthy limits!" / Squidina says: "Hay is hardly the weirdest thing our show has ever done; it's actually kind of rational by OUR standards...the ones we HAVE anyways!" (End Confessional)

Over at the Killer Crocodiles emblem, Gordon says: "Team, this challenge is going to determine whether we start our run as a team with a surplus compared to the other team, or a deficit! Who has an idea that DOESN'T involve stealing the Krabby Patty Secret Formula?!" Plankton snaps his mini-mecha fingers, and he says: "CURSE my 'Over-crippling Specialization'!" Karen says: "Like you HAVE any to begin with!" Plankton says: "I don't see YOU coming up with any Idiot Proof ideas on stealing the Krabby Patty Secret Formula anytime soon!" Karen says: "Well, if I was getting PAID to come up with ideas, I'd make them BETTER ones!" Lori says: "Well, I have a younger sister who's a SUPER genius, but there's no way I'm ever going to be desperate enough to call for HER help!" Skeeter whispers something into Sheen's ear, and Sheen says: "Skeeter is a super genius! He says if we use the inflatable UltraLord doll we got earlier; with enough air, we can all hang onto it, and float our way to the top!" Karen asks: "You expect US to take OUR challenge advice, from Mr. Michael Winslow here?!" Henry asks: "WHO?!!!" Karen says: "Obscure 'Police Academy' reference, look it up!" Lori says: "Come on! It's the first suggestion I'VE heard of that doesn't TOTALLY suck!" (Confessional) Lori says: "Of COURSE I was going to let someone ELSE come up with the idea of trying to solve this challenge! HELLO!!!! That way, if things go south; THEY'LL get the blame, and I'll still be in this to win it! If they HAPPEN to be right, I'll coast on their glory! Either way, it's a win-win for me!" / Sheen says: "I can't think of ANY problem that UltraLord can't solve...EXCEPT maybe getting cancelled! If I knew how to avoid THAT one, I wouldn't have HAD that happen to me...TWICE!!!!" / Plankton groans, and he says: "It's SO hard to find help these days, from potential assets that AREN'T complete IMBECILES!" / Karen says: "That's one of the FEW things Plankton has said, that I TOTALLY agree with!" (End Confessional) A crafting montage takes place, with Skeeter making building effect noises, as the Fearless Flamingos craft together a sturdy hay rope, while Plankton and Karen inflate the Inflatable Ultra Lord Doll with plenty of air, so that everyone can grab on once it's ready! /

Sniz says: "Crafting time is over, it's time for everybody to get on the Steamboat, and we'll start this challenge!" Everybody carefully makes their way onto the wobbling steamboat, and quickly get into place. Squilivia looks over to Lori, and she says: "Hey, may the best gal win!" Lori says: "I plan to!" (Confessional) Squilivia sighs, and says: "So much for hoping that conflict between our teams WOULDN'T get personal! But at least I GAVE it an honest shot on MY part!" / Lori says: "Nobody, ESPECIALLY not some one episode appearing NOBODY is going to beat ME on this game show; that's NOT going to happen!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Everybody hold on tight, because things are about to get SHAKIER than the San Andreas Fault did in 1906! On your marks, get set, GO!!!!" And the steamboat LITERALLY starts rumbing as if it actually IS being affacted by a 6.5 Earthquake, and General Barracuda starts throwing random pieces of debris at the contestants, as Freddy begins his dangerous climb up the Steamboat, the Killer Crocodiles are having trouble getting their Inflatable UltraLord Doll OFF of the ground, because Plankton's Mini-Mecha is proving to be TOO heavy! While the action is happening, Bob Seger's hit song "Shakedown" is playing in the background! /

Bob Seger sings: "No matter what you think you pull you'll find it's not enough. No matter who you think you know, you won't get through. It's a given L.A. law, someone's faster on the draw. No matter where you hide, I'm comin' after you, yeah! No matter how the race is run, it always ends the same. Another room without a view awaits downtown. You can shake me for a while, live it up in style. No matter what you do, I'm gonna take you down!" (And Lori FINALLY kicks Plankton OFF of the Inflatable UltraLord Doll and the Killer Crocodiles start floating up, because Freddy Ferret is already half-way up the steamboat!) Shakedown, Breakdown, Takedown! Everybody wants into the crowded line! (Plankton gets REALLY angry and THROWS a sharp rock at the UltraLord Inflatable Doll out of spite, and the rock hits the UltraLord Inflatable Doll and it breaks, causing the contestants to fall into the water, and in Karen's case, on a hard ROCK in the water, affecting her thinking process!) Breakdown, Takedown, You're busted! (Henry, seeing what the situation is like, quickly jumps into the water and starts rescuing his fellow Killer Crocodiles one by one, while Plankton starts climbing up the Steamboat himself, but Freddy is ALMOST at the top!) Let down your guard! Honey, just about the time you're thinkin' it's alright! Breakdown, Takedown, You're busted! (And Gordon Quid throws the SAME sharp rock at Plankton, knocking HIM down to the bottom of the steamboat, while Freddy FINALLY gets to the top of the Steamboat, securely attaches the hay rope to the top, and motions for the rest of the Fearless Flamingos to start climbing up it.) This is a town where everyone is reachin' for the top. This is a place where second best will never do. It's okay to want to shine, but once you step across that line; no matter where you hide, I'm comin' after you! (Plankton and Gordon get into a LITERAL Cat Fight in a "Big Ball Of Violence" which Henry and Sheen try in VAIN to stop, while Skeeter just keeps making random sound effects to punctuate the fight!) Shakedown, Breakdown, Takedown! Everybody wants into the crowded line! Breakdown, Takedown, You're busted!" (The Fearless Flamingos gradually begin to climb up to the top of the Steamboat, which Karen in spite of her wooziness, tries to point out, but nobody else on the Killer Crocodiles is paying any attention!)

Bob Seger keeps singing: "Shakedown, Breakdown! Honey, just about the time you're thinkin' it's alright! Breakdown, Takedown, you're busted! (And Karen decides to charge in and FORCIBLY separate Plankton from Gordon, only to get pounded by BOTH of them, further damaging her thinking circuits!) Ah, busted! Aw, aw! Shakedown, Breakdown, Takedown! Everybody wants into the crowded line! (Plankton FINALLY realizes that Karen is getting hurt, immediately stops fighting and smiles sheepishly at Karen, but everyone else is CLEARLY not amused!) Breakdown, Takedown, You're busted! (Meanwhile, the Fearless Flamingos all finally reach dry land, cross the finish line, and Sniz rings a gong, signifying the end of the challenge!) Shakedown, Breakdown! Honey, just about the time you're thinkin' it's alright! Breakdown, Takedown, You're busted!" / And the song ends early as Sniz says: "And it's over, the challenge is all over! The Fearless Flamingos have metaphorically flown to the top of this challenge, and have won immunity for the night!" Abby says: "Way to go, Freddy! I knew you had it in you!" Freddy blushes, and he says: "Ah, it was nothing much!" Sniz says: "Killer Crocodiles, what can I say? Your teamwork today was LOUSY; REALLY lousy! Get yourself patched up, and meet me at the Elimination Ceremony Bonfire! One of you will be leaving here via cannon fire, TONIGHT!!!!" (Confessional) Skeeter imitates the dying sound effect from "Super Mario Bros.", and says: "Duh! Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh, duh-duh, duh-duh!" / Plankton screams: "MORONS!!!! I'm surrounded by MORONS!!!! I'd expect that in Bikini Bottom! But did I really HAVE to leave the ocean just to go through THIS again?! I sure hope Karen's thinking process hasn't been HARMED in any way!" / Karen is BUSY trying to reboot her signal, and in a weird tone, she says: "I am hilarious, you will quote everything I--BIRDS! BIRDS! BIRDS! Plankton!" / Lori says: "While eliminating Plankton may sound like a GOOD idea; the fact of the matter is, he has actually GONE to college! I'll NEED a brain like that to come up with ideas to keep what REMAINS of MY team safe! I'm telling the rest of team, ESPECIALLY Sheen, to vote off Skeeter tonight IF they want to keep being contestants on the team!" (End Confessional)

It's evening, and the Killer Crocodiles are all sitting around a bonfire that's been place inside a tin can trash can. Sniz says: "Killer Crocodiles, while the Fearless Flamingos might have some dysfunctional members; the dysfunction YOU displayed today makes THEIR dysfunction looks like nothing! Somebody's luck here is about to run out tonight! The question is, who? You all know the instructions about how to vote, so get right to it! And remember, the contestant who loses the Luck Showdown, will be shot out of the Cannon of Shame!" Sheen asks: "Cannon?!" Gordon asks: "Cannon?!"  Henry asks: "Cannon?!" Karen weirdly asks: "BIRDS?!" And a loud voice, coming from Skeeter says: "CANNON!!!!" Plankton seriously says: "Oh yeah, he is DEFINITELY out!" Lori says: "Thank you, Captain Obvious!" Sniz says: "Once you are shot out of the Cannon of Shame, once you land, you will have to make an Elimination Confessional. That means you are out of the Contest, and you can NEVER come back, EVER! Contestants, VOTE!" (Confessional) A montage of the contestants (minus Skeeter) immediately place Skeeter's Play Token into the Slot Machine. Skeeter, nervously puts in Sheen's play token! (End Confessional) Sniz says: "I've got six chocolate coin tokens indicating safety, and five of them go to, Lori Loud; Henry; Gordon Quid; Karen; and surprisingly, Plankton. That means the two contestants in the Luck Showdown are Skeeter, and Sheen! Who has better luck?! It's time for the Dice!" Wanda says: "On it!" And Wanda poofs two floating dice blocks above the heads of Sheen, and Skeeter! Sniz says: "Don't be all night about it, guys!" And nervously, while they both hit their dice blocks at nearly the same time, Sheen gets 3, while Skeeter only gets 1! Sniz says: "OOH! Tough luck, Skeeter! While 3 is a low number, it wasn't low enough THIS time, and you got the most votes besides! Cannon of Shame awaits!" / Skeeter is now equipped with a helmet, safety glasses, and protective ear wadding for the cannon fire! Sniz says: "Contestant helpers, get into positions!" Blonda screams: "Posts everyone, please!" And Blonda, Bonnie Bass, Bubble Bass, General Barracuda, Wanda, and Toddler Rube quickly go to places where things that could very easily fall over, and grab secure hold of them!

Sniz loudly yells: "FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE! FIRE!!!!" And Skeeter is shot OUT of the Cannon, and the Contestant Helpers quickly grab the objects that try to fall to the ground, but they keep them safe, and Skeeter quickly yells: "Thank you for having me on your show, good luck to the rest of you!" Sniz says: "So, that's one contestant down, and thirteen to go. Who will be the next one to go? Who knows? It's now time, for Skeeter's final thoughts." (Elimination Confessional) Skeeter lands into a hotel lounge, he takes off his safety gear, and he says: "Man, being a genius certainly doesn't make you any less nervous about being in a physical challenge! But MAN!!!! Sniz certainly picked an APPROPRIATE name for the Killer Crocodiles! Those guys are all vicious! If they don't get their act together soon, they'll ALL be joining me!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Join us next time for another exciting, and thrilling challenge that will take place on Total Cartoon Paradise City, where the sun sets, but the fun never does!" / Episode Notes: Skeeter Valentine is eliminated in this episode. Featured songs in this episode include Judas Priest's "You've Got Another Thing Coming"; An edited version of Guns N' Roses "Paradise City"; Tom Petty's "Free Fallin"; and Bob Segar's "Shakedown". / Eliminated Contestants: 14. Skeeter Valentine. / Remaining Contestants: Sheen Estevez ("The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius", a Killer Crocodile); Franz Flubb ("The Brothers Flubb", a Fearless Flamingo); Gordon Quid ("Catscratch", a Killer Crocodile); Henry ("Kablam!", a Killer Crocodile); Abby ("Back At The Barnyard", a Fearless Flamingo); Squilliam Fancyson ("Spongebob Squarepants", a Fearless Flamingo); Guapo Flubb ("The Brothers Flubb", a Fearless Flamingo); Karen ("Spongebob Squarepants", a Killer Crocodile); Plankton ("Spongebob Squarepants", a Killer Crocodile); Squidina Star ("The Patrick Star Show", a Fearless Flamingo); Lori Loud ("The Loud House", a Killer Crocodile); Squilivia ("Spongebob Squarepants", a Fearless Flamingo); Freddy Ferret ("Back At The Barnyard", a Fearless Flamingo). /

Personal Notes: A problem I've had with the previous seasons that I've written, is that somehow, no matter how ambitious or how eager I am to start writing episodes for these seasons; somewhere along the way, I lose my drive and ambition, causing there to be gaps between the episodes that I write. To prevent that from (hopefully) happening this time, I've given myself a personal episode guide for my own reference, for the episodes that I plan to write for this season, so that I will know what I WANT to write before I write it; so hopefully that will keep me on track for this season! Amazingly, on his own show, Skeeter really IS well-known for making weird and unusual sound effects! But in this case, his nervousness got the better of him, which is why he was the first contestant to take the Cannon of Shame this time! But if you want to know who gets eliminated next, you'll have to read the NEXT episode! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

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Since I'm finding it much easier to fire my creative juices now that I've got a plan for this season in place, I'm ready to start work on the next episode of this season! / Sniz is standing in a busy casino room, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Paradise City; we began with 14 contestants. Some were eager, and ready to take the competition seriously! Others, seemed to just be eager to be annoying! The Killer Crocodiles, and the Fearless Flamingos were formed, and while both teams had their fair share of dysfunction in them; in the end, it was Freddy Ferret's excellent climbing and hay rope tying skills, that secured a win for the Fearless Flamingos. Skeeter Valentine, unable to STOP making weird sound effects, was the first contestant to be FIRED out of the Cannon Of Shame! Now, we have 13 contestants left, and the show is about to potentially get more glamorous! Who will shine like a Vegas Strip Singing Star? Who will burn out and fizzle out like so many Elvis Presley Impersonators? And will Karen manage to successfully reboot herself?" (Gilligan Cut to Karen) Karen, in a weird tone, sings: "I'm a little teapot, short and stout; here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up, hear me shout; 'Tip me over, pull me out!" (Gilligan Cut back to Sniz) Sniz says: "She's making progress! Just last night, she thought she was a toaster! Anyways, for answers to the other questions; stay tuned for a VERY ritzy, razzle-dazzle episode of Total Cartoon Paradise City!" /

Instead of the usual show open, Bubble Bass, wearing a tuxedo made ENTIRELY of bubbles, sings a version of Taco's hit song, "Puttin' On The Ritz". Bubble Bass sings: "If you're blue and you don't know where to go to. Why don't you go where fashion sits? Puttin' on the Ritz. Different types who wear a day-coat. Pants with stripes and cutaway-coat, perfect fits. Puttin' on the Ritz. Dressed up like a million-dollar trouper. Trying hard to look like Alice Cooper (Super-duper!) Come, let's mix where Rockefellers walk with sticks or umbrellas in their mitts. Puttin' on the Ritz! Have you seen the well-to-do, up and down Park Avenue? On that famous thoroughfare with their noses in the air? High hats and Arrow collars, white spats and lots of dollars; spending every dime for a wonderful time. If you're blue and you don't know where to go to; why don't you go where fashion sits? Puttin' on the Ritz. Different types who wear a day-coat. Pants with stripes and cutaway-coat, perfect fits. Puttin' on the Ritz! Dressed up like a million-dollar trouper. Trying hard to look like Alice Cooper (Super-duper!) Come, let's mix where Rockefellers walk with sticks or umbrellas in their mitts. Puttin' on the Ritz! Puttin' on the Ritz! (Instrumental Break) Got to dance! Got to...dance-dance-dance-dance-dance. If you're blue and you don't know where to go to; why don't you go where fashion sits? Puttin' on the Ritz! Puttin' on the Ritz! Puttin' on the Ritz!" / And the rocking song ends! /

"Putting On The 'Razz' In The Razzle-Dazzle!" It is night-time, and at the Flamingo Hotel replica where the Fearless Flamingos are staying, Franz Flubb is busy DRAGGING Squilliam Fancyson to a private hotel lobby, where Franz locks the doors, and closes the drapes! Squilliam says: "All right, spit it out! Whatever you just HAD to drag me here to discuss better be SUPER important, because I was just dreaming about how GLORIOUS it will be when I inevitably WIN this season, PROVING that I am superior to SQUIDWARD in every way!" Franz says: "Look, I could care LESS about YOUR delusions of grandeur! What I'M more concerned about, is how am I SUPPOSED to win when my brother is INEVITABLY going to get in the WAY of that GOAL?!!!" Squilliam scoffs, and he says: "Don't get me wrong! I'm as MUCH a fan of sabotage, especially where SQUIDWARD is concerned; as ANYBODY is! But the fact of the matter is, I have YET to see ANY evidence of just HOW detrimental YOUR brother is to YOUR well-being! And so far, the evidence points to YOU being all whiny and complaining, while your brother has been GENEROUSLY patient with you! If anything, if I were as HALF as vindictive as YOU are; YOU would be the one I would WANT eliminated as OPPOSED to YOUR brother! At least Guapo doesn't SOUND as crazy/paranoid as YOU do!" Franz screams: "How DARE you take his side; especially in a PRIVATE CONVERSATION?!!!" Squilliam sputters, and he says: "Private? PRIVATE?!!! Everybody in a 100 mile RADIUS could HEAR you!" Franz scoffs, and he says: "If YOU'RE going to be like THAT; I'm simply going to LEAVE, and FIND someone who WILL help me! Out of my WAY; future calamari steak!" And Squilliam looks puzzled! (Confessional) Squilliam looks through a dictionary, and he says: "Calamari...calamari...HERE it is! (Beat) WHAT?!!! They eat creatures like ME, with THAT?!!! Who on EARTH could STOMACH that slop! And PLEASE, don't use a 'Gilligan Cut' to illustrate the point; I'm NOT in the mood! The NERVE of that...whatever he is! He BETTER hope our team keeps winning; because the minute we LOSE; I'm already 85% sure it's going to be ALL his FAULT!" /

Franz Flubb says: "You would THINK that Squilliam, of ALL contestants; would understand how I feel about MY brother! And even HE is taking Guapo's side?! What on EARTH does MY brother have that I DON'T?!!!" / Guapo says: "According to former contestant Wally, what I have that my brother doesn't have; are good looks, brains, charm, self-confidence, a positive attitude, a better personality, and a drive to do my best...but I totally digress!" (End Confessional) Franz Flubb goes to the Killer Crocodiles' Replica Luxor hotel, and he rings the doorbell, and who should answer it EXCEPT General Barracuda?! General Barracuda angrily says: "If you--AGH!!!!--Have any--AGH!!!!--important business, you better state it--AGH!!!!--really quick, because I--AGH!!!!--am willing--AGH!!!!--to hit you--AGH!!!!--SO HARD--AGH!!!!--It will wake--AGH!!!!--Up--AGH!!!!--Your DENTIST!!!!--AGH!!!!" Gordon Quid walks by, and he says: "There's no need to act so hostile, General Barracuda. MOST of us are reasonable adults here! Besides, aren't you getting TIRED of getting SHOCKED all the time?!" General Barracuda says: "Of COURSE I am! It's not exactly HARD to notice!" Henry says: "Well, if you want to STOP being shocked; there's a VERY simple way to do that! You want to learn how?" General Barracuda says: "Suddenly, YOU'RE an expert on psycho-analysis?" Henry says: "Depends on the 'Psycho' in question! In any case, if you want to stop being shocked; just learn to express your anger RATIONALLY!!!!" General Barracuda angrily says: "You THINK--AGH!!!!--I'm NOT--AGH!!!!--Being RATIONAL?!!!--AGH!!!!" Plankton gets a displeased look, and he says: "I think the SHOCKING is speaking for itself! What do YOU think, Karen?!" Karen, in a weird tone sings: "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts! Deedle-lee, deedle-lee, deedle-lee; here, you see them standing in a row! (Plankton gets REALLY irritated and GRABS a GIGANTIC Morning Star Mace hanging over the fireplace) Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head--!" (KONG!!!!) And Plankton hits Karen SUPER-HARD with the Mace, and Karen's screen whirs back to normal! Karen, speaking normally again, and she says: "WOAH! I must have had an out-of-series experience! I thought I was some type of bird!"

Lori says: "Well, glad to see you FINALLY decided to show up!" Karen says: "You know, I could think up of about 300 different ways to insult you from my OWN data-bank memory alone WITHOUT looking up on the Internet! But since you're SO intellectually beneath me, you're not even WORTH belittling!" Lori scoffs, and she says: "I'll believe THAT when I hear it!" (Confessional) Karen angrily says: "Why that DIRTY LITTLE--!!!!" Than Karen composes herself, and she breathes, and calmly says: "Don't lose your cool; DON'T lose your cool! Every single villain that's EVER lost their cool on this show, has always LOST...BADLY!!!! If I WANT to win this show once my HUSBAND inevitably fails like he ALWAYS does, I will need to be composed and calm! If I want to win this, I'm going to HAVE to play the LONG game! So; plan now, revenge LATER!!!!" / Lori says: "I'm not sure whether I should be concerned OR excited about potentially making a computer mad! But Karen? There's no WAY she'd be able to pass the Turing Test; no matter WHAT Plankton may say otherwise!" / Plankton says: "Percussive Maintenance, works every time whenever my treadmill inevitably goes on the fritz! And yes, in my case; my treadmill just HAPPENS to be one of those Grocery Checkout treadmills that moves food along. Normal treadmills are too BIG and wide for a guy of MY stature!" (End Confessional) Franz says: "First of all, you ALL going off on a TANGENT? That's one of the biggest reasons you guys and girls lost the LAST time! Second of all, I didn't wake you up because I thought you had enough good night sleep; I came to you because I am personally seeking YOUR help! I need SOMEONE taken care of! And by 'SOMEONE', I mean my Brother!" Henry asks: "Shouldn't we wake up Sheen, first?" Franz asks: "Who CARES about Sheen?! You won't even NEED him! He's like, MINUS one contestant on YOUR team anyways!" Gordon asks: "What have you got AGAINST your brother?" Franz says: "He ALWAYS puts MY life and well-being in danger; and I'm sick and tired of ALWAYS getting hurt on deliveries! I need him OUT of this game so that I can FOCUS on winning the $1.4 million, and be able to pay for my OWN delivery routes WITHOUT working with my brother!"

Gordon sighs, and he says: "So, let me get this straight; you want OUR team, to help you, to find a way to get rid of YOUR brother, so that YOU can win the $1.4 million dollars?" Henry says: "Franz, I have heard MANY crazy things on MY show; most of them from June, and I just have to say...you're out of your mind! Your WISH is HORRIBLE!!!! Your GOAL is HORRIBLE!!!! Your REQUEST is HORRIBLE!!!! You're an IRREDEEMABLE MONSTER!!!!" Franz angrily says: "How DARE you?! I give you a chance to actually WIN an episode, and THIS is how I get TREATED?!" General Barracuda coyly says: "Oh, FRANZ; I can help you get RID of your brother...IF; you do something VERY important for ME, FIRST!!!!" Karen sternly says: "Don't EVEN think about it, Franz! Everyone who's ever TRIED to make an alliance with General Barracuda NEVER gets what they WANT in the end; not even General Barracuda! And he's tried harder than anybody!" Franz screams: "I don't CARE!!!! This is a matter of PERSONAL safety!" Lori says: "Look, I don't personally like most of MY younger siblings most of the time; but even I know that this 'Revenge Quest' of yours, is bound to be NOTHING but trouble! It NEVER works!" Franz says: "Don't give me that CRAP!!!! If ANYBODY deserves to get REVENGE, it's going to be ME!!!!" Plankton mockingly says: "'If anybody deserves to get revenge, it's going to be me!" Than Plankton seriously says: "SERIOUSLY, that's what you SOUND like!!!! Do you even LISTEN to yourself when you TALK?!!!" General Barracuda says: "Don't listen to THOSE jealous guys and girls! They're NOBODY to YOU!!!! Help me, and I will be SURE to help YOU!!!! But let's go somewhere more PRIVATE first!" Franz gets a devious smile, and he says: "Wherever you WANT to go...PARTNER!!!!" And Franz and General Barracuda leave the replica Luxor, and Sheen just HAPPENS to wake up, and walks downstairs in his UltraLord pajamas, and he asks: "What did I miss?!" Gordon says: "Nothing that concerns YOU, kid! Just us ADULTS!!!!" Sheen says: "Well, did you know that this GIRL you're interested in, Human Kimberly; while you may BOTH be six, she's WAY underage compared to you! To be honest, it's actually kind of creepy!" Gordon gets a HORRIFIED look, and he says: "Wait! She's WHAT?!!!"

(Confessional) Gordon quickly looks through a guidebook about Human Females, and GULPS in horror! Gordon says: "I'm doomed, doomed! I'm doomed, doomed, doomed! Why in the H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS did nobody ever TELL me Human Kimberly was underage compared to ME?!!! Cats aren't BORN automatically KNOWING everything about human girls! I SWEAR, if I had known she was underage compared to me; of COURSE I never EVER would've tried to date her! Granted, I'm not even sure I can say I even GOT up to BAT; but the fact is, unintentionally or not, I have been pursuing a relationship I never SHOULD HAVE pursued, and it took Mr. Space Cadet, of ALL people; to tell the awful TRUTH to me?! From now on, I no longer WANT rich 'Fake Friends' to tell me what I WANT to hear; I need REAL friends, regardless of how much money they have, to tell me what I NEED to hear, regardless of how painful it is! I NEVER want to make a mistake this horrible ever AGAIN!!!!" / Henry shakes his head, and he says: "Sheen, you have just GOT to learn about discretion! I'm SURE he would've found OUT about the truth...eventually! Now, we'll NEVER know! RUINED it!" / Sheen says: "As unbelievable as my adventures in my space might sound; when I got back to Earth, Jimmy Neutron was really MAD that I took his experimental space vehicle for a ride without his permission. But, I just told him the honest truth. Of COURSE he was mad, but his anger would've been a LOT worse, and what I would've had to do to earn his friendship back; would've been a lot worse if I lied to him! Fortunately for me, even if I don't always KNOW what I'm talking about, when it comes to things that aren't ALWAYS UltraLord related, I always try to be as honest as I possibly can! Of course, when it comes to Franz; even a guy like ME knows, that he also needs to have EMPATHY, and NOT be irrationally angry about things that Guapo has absolutely no control over!" /

Plankton says: "Franz actually WANTS to work with General Barracuda? Man, and I thought I was evil! That's why I've NEVER resorted to asking for General Barracuda's help! Whatever he wants, it's always going to be FAR more trouble to the person who ASKS for General Barracuda's help, than it's EVER going to be for General Barracuda!" / Karen says: "Even PLANKTON can be right about SOME things SOME times...occasionally!" / Lori sighs in contentment, and she says: "It's SO nice when your opponents PRACTICALLY decide to ELIMINATE themselves! Makes the work that YOU have to do to ensure you're OWN safety that much easier!" (End Confessional) Franz and General Barracuda go to a replica of a Caesar's Palace Hotel, and General Barracuda says: "This is where we will talk." Franz says: "Personally, we COULD have talked anywhere, but FINE! What do I have to do to get your help?!" General Barracuda says: "I NEED this Shock Collar off; and I need YOUR help! It's OBVIOUS that this whole 'Shocking me until I LEARN how to express my anger rationally thing', is NEVER going to work! And I can't take it off myself, or this thing will shock me SO much; it will put me into a coma! And if I get put into a coma, there's a good chance my wife will LEAVE me and my son will NEVER let me see MY grandson again! So, I'm counting on you to REMOVE the Shock Collar, so I can get ON with the rest of my life!" Franz says: "Look, I'm perfectly willing to REMOVE your Shock Collar, but just HOW do you expect Sniz and the others to not notice? They're not BLIND, you know!" General Barracuda says: "I've already thought of that!" And General Barracuda pulls out a collar that looks a LOT like his Shock Collar! General Barracuda says: "I crafted this in my spare time! It's a battery-powered collar that I can control! It lights up, but I receive no shock! So, all I have to do is to OCCASIONALLY act like I'm BEING shocked whenever I HAVE to say something that's angry so Sniz doesn't get wise; GRADUALLY lessen up the amount of times I light the collar up; until I stop entirely, and Sniz will just take the collar off, and no one will EVER know that YOU helped make this happen!"

Franz says: "And just HOW do you propose to help ME get rid of Guapo?" General Barracuda says: "Remove my collar first! I don't want to take any chances that I'll get shocked!" Franz groans in frustration, and he says: "FINE!!!!" And using a collection of space tools, Franz gradually loosens the bolts keeping General Barracuda's Shock Collar secure, until it falls off of the ground! General Barracuda feels his free neck, and he says: "FINALLY! I was worried that collar was going to leave me with some hickey marks!" Franz says: "Whatever THOSE are! Now, put on your Fake Collar, and tell me your plan!" General Barracuda puts his Fake Collar on, and he says: "All right, tell me. What is ONE thing your brother would absolutely be HORRIBLE in no matter HOW hard he tried?!" Franz scoffs, and he says: "That's easy! Putting on a glamorous show to impress people! If Guapo can't impress ME, he doesn't have a CHANCE with Sniz OR your son; you just make SURE to give Guapo SUCH a bad score, that any score I get will look GREAT by comparison; so that I'll be safe, and Guapo is the one who gets to experience the pain that I feel whenever I have to take a trip that I don't like!" General Barracuda's face sours, and he says: "Wait! You're actually SERIOUS about WANTING to get RID of your brother THAT much?! And for THAT petty of a REASON?!!! Who do you think I am?!!!" Franz angrily says: "Don't give ME any PHONY morality play! You got what YOU wanted, now it's MY turn!" General Barracuda says: "You know, maybe there's actually a good REASON as to why YOU constantly suffer pain! You don't APPRECIATE the family you have in your LIFE!!!! You PURPOSEFULLY look for reasons to be ANGRY at others who don't DESERVE it!!!! You pick fights you know that you could never POSSIBLY win because you're addicted to BEING angry and miserable; when all YOU would have to do to STOP your anger...!!!!" Than General Barracuda gets a HORRIFIED look on his face, when he realizes that he's ALSO perfectly describing his OWN attitude, and all General Barracuda can do, is hollowly finish: "...is to accept responsibility for your own actions and move on from the past."

Franz PRETENDS to think about it, and he says: "Let me see; take responsibility for MY own actions? Or get sweet, SWEET REVENGE? DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! Sweet, SWEET REVENGE wins HANDS DOWN!!!!" General Barracuda seriously says: "Well, I WON'T help you!" Franz Flubb seriously says: "Do you WANT me to tell Sniz that you made a deal with ME behind HIS back, because YOU couldn't HANDLE taking the long, HARD route?! Do you want the ONLY reasons YOU have for living to leave YOUR life, FOREVER?!!! And I'll DO it to! You have NO idea how long I've been WAITING for a chance to give Guapo a taste of MY pain; and there's absolutely NO punishment that Sniz can think of, that I haven't already BEEN through, so if I have to go through SOME pain in order to get what I want, so BE it! But I KNOW you don't want ME to blab the truth to Sniz, and YOU don't want to lose YOUR wife, or the love and trust of your son! So, you BETTER make sure you GIVE Guapo that horrible score! Just make sure to give ME a convincing score for the performance that I give, and Sniz will NEVER have to know about this little deal!" General Barracuda's face really sours, and he says: "I'll see what I can do! But REMEMBER; your performance BETTER not be shoddy! I can't give YOU a high score just because YOU want it! Sniz would NEVER buy me giving YOU a perfect 10 for some lousy 'Dog and Pony' show!" Franz says: "Don't worry; my act will be NOTHING like 'It's Pony'; I will put on the performance of a life-time!" General Barracuda says: "See that you do. You just better hope your BROTHER is as lousy as YOU say he is! Because if he GENUINELY gives a good performance that's BETTER than yours, than I have to give him an Honest Score; deal or NO deal! And trust me when I say, that Sniz can SPOT a dishonest score from a mile away!"

(Confessional) Franz chuckles deviously, and he says: "It feels so LIBERATING to FINALLY be able to express the sheer HATRED that I felt for what I've had to go through with MY brother! I should be awarded the FREAKING NOBEL PEACE PRIZE for the amount of patience that I've had! But at least, it will ALL be over soon! I just need to take every last precaution I SHOULD take, to ENSURE that Guapo LOSES!!!!" / General Barracuda gets a SHOCKED look, and he asks: "Have I REALLY been acting THAT crazy and IRRATIONAL towards everyone in general? Why didn't somebody TELL me that I was acting SO INSANE?!!!" Than General Barracuda gets ANOTHER horrified look, face-palms himself, and he says: "Because I never LISTENED to all the 157 STUPID other times that people WERE telling me!" (End Confessional) It is morning, and as the sun rises in the east; Blonda begins a traditional bugle call to wake everybody up, ONLY to be interrupted by Bubble Bass loudly playing Jimi Hendrix's rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner"! Blonda yells: "Keep it down, I'm trying to wake people up!" Bubble Bass shouts: "This is America's NATIONAL Anthem! What's more appropriate than that?!" Toddler Rube says: "I like it!" Blonda says: "You're lucky we live in a Democracy!" In the Flamingo Hotel, Guapo is still sleeping in his bed, and Franz walks in, carrying a cat carrier. Franz says: "Now, remember what WE talked about, Mr. Blik, just walk past Guapo a few times carrying a LADDER over him, make him open up an umbrella indoors, and have him break a mirror!" Mr. Blik, inside the cat carrier, gives Franz a suspicious look, and he says: "You know, you COULD just take Anger Management--!!!!" Franz screams: "SHUT UP AND DO WHAT I SAY!!!!" But this wakes Guapo up, and he asks: "What's with all the shouting? Everybody in a 100 mile radius could HEAR you! Say, did you bring in Gordon Quid's brother to be our friend?" Franz yells: "You're Gordon Quid's BROTHER?!!! You look NOTHING alike!!!!" Mr. Blik shouts: "Stop SHOUTING; I'm not DEAF, you know! But if you keep SCREAMING like that, you're GOING to lose your VOICE!!!!"

Franz angrily says: "Get OUT of the cat carrier, and STICK to the plan, or you'll lose EIGHT of your NINE lives, assuming you still HAVE that many!" Mr. Blik says: "Wait a minute! I don't HAVE to put up with this, I'm RICH!!!!" And Mr. Blik opens his cat carrier, and he deviously says: "You WANT me to cross somebody's path? I'll cross SOMEBODY'S path!" And before Franz can do or say anything, Mr. Blik CROSSES Franz's path 13 times, each time carrying a LADDER over Franz, and Mr. Blik SMASHES a giant MIRROR on Franz's head, and while Franz is woozy; Mr. Blik makes Franz open up an umbrella inside! Guapo asks: "Come on, was THAT really necessary?!" And than, from out of NOWHERE, an old-fashioned rotary phone gets thrown at Franz's head, than an old-fashioned cash register gets thrown at Franz's head, than Franz SCREAMS by what he sees coming his way: "AHHH!!!!" And Franz NARROWLY avoids being HIT by a Baby Grand Piano, than NARROWLY misses being hit by a steamroller, than narrowly misses being hit by a school bus, than narrowly misses being hit by an ocean liner, and Franz screams: "THAT ONE doesn't even MAKE ANY SENSE!!!!" Than Franz narrowly misses being hit by an asteroid! And Franz runs out of the hotel in panic! Guapo gets out of bed, wearing only his underwear, and he asks: "What was THAT all about?" Mr. Blik sighs, and says: "I might as well tell you. You're going to find out about it eventually, but your brother's gone crazy! He's COMPLETELY irrational! He thinks that YOU'RE ruining his life and making him suffer pain on PURPOSE!" Guapo gets a GENUINE shocked look, and he says: "That's NONSENSE!!!! I would NEVER put him into ANY situation where he could suffer pain on PURPOSE!!!!" Mr. Blik says: "YOU know that, and I know that; but Franz REFUSES to listen to reason! Instead of taking responsibility for his OWN actions and lousy behavior, he decided to blame ALL of his problems on you; whether that's warranted or not. Oh, and if you ask me; I think you're MUCH too gifted and attractive as a contestant, to let yourself be bullied by someone like Franz!" Guapo interestingly says: "You think I'm attractive, TO?! But more importantly, I can't believe my own...BROTHER!!!!"

Mr. Blik sighs, and says: "I hear you. My brothers...one of them is a certified cloud-cuckoolander; and the other likes a girl that he should have no business liking. But even someone of MY disposition, knows BETTER than to hate MY brothers for no good reason!" Guapo sadly says: "I just...wanted to make a good relationship with my brother this season. I thought we could do some real...bonding. That's one of the biggest reasons I signed up for this season WITH my brother! Was THAT so wrong?!" Mr. Blik says: "Of course not! YOU have done nothing wrong! But, I think it's perfectly clear that your brother has NO intention of playing the game YOU want to play!" Guapo says: "But what should I do? If I go after MY brother the way he's going after me, I'd be no better than HE is!" Mr. Blik says: "Well, Franz's biggest weakness; is that every single situation he faces, he expresses ALL of his anger ALL at once! It's ALL or NOTHING as far as he is concerned. You need to show HIM, that you don't even need to GO that far in order to be better than him! First off, the challenge for this episode, is going to be a Talent Show! Use this opportunity to show your brother what happens when YOUR gloves are off, and metaphorically take him down in front of EVERYONE! And before you make any arguments, if your brother really WANTED a good relationship with you, he would have ASKED for it by now! You can't control how others react or feel. What you CAN control, is how YOU control the situation!" Guapo sighs, takes a deep breath, and says: "Well, I know what I have to do. I certainly won't like it, but my mom didn't bring ME up to be pushed around by ANYBODY; least of all, my own brother! Franz hasn't won a fight since the third grade, and that was against a girl! And I'm certainly NOT going to let him win a fight that he doesn't DESERVE to win! If he DOESN'T want to be with me, I plan on giving him EXACTLY what he wishes for!" (Confessional) Guapo is now completely dressed, and he's calling someone on his cell phone. Guapo says: "Good thing I learned about how Miss Boom De-Ay likes me. She always DID tell me, 'Be careful what you wish for; you just MIGHT get it!" / Franz is busy tending to his bruises, and he screams: "I demand to know, who's RESPONSIBLE for my pain!" (End Confessional)

And as if to answer the question, Blonda and Bubble Bass are looking at Toddler Rube, as he is MAGICALLY causing random objects to appear in the air, and they magically keep landing in random directions! Bonnie says: "Wow! Rube is REALLY getting the hang of making things magically appear in the air!" And Rube makes a wooden club fly away somewhere, and Franz yells: "OW!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Yeah, but I think Blonda is DEFINITELY going to have to work on his AIM, next!" General Barracuda says: "Well, I personally think HIS aim is spot on!" Bonnie says: "Horatio; YOU seem to be in an unusually GOOD mood today! You're NEVER in a good mood unless YOU'RE up to something! What gives?" General Barracuda twitches as if he's about to lose it, than he remembers that he'd have to PRETEND to be shocked if he loses it, so he composes himself, and he says: "I will let you call me Horatio because you are my wife. What I am up to, is that today, is the day I start LICKING my irrational anger!" Fondue suspiciously says: "YOU?! Lick YOUR irrational anger?! THAT'S a real laugh!!!!" General Barracuda angrily says: "I--AGH!!!!--Am so--AGH!!!!--ANGRY--AGH!!!!--With YOU!!!!--AGH!!!!" Fondue's suspicious face disappears, and he says: "You STILL haven't conquered it!" General Barracuda composes himself, and he says: "I'm still WORKING on it; you can't expect me to IMPROVE my Anger Management Skills just like THAT! Blonda grants WISHES, not miracles! If I'm going to get control of my anger, I have to do it the old-fashioned way!" Sniz says: "Tell it like it is, General Barracuda!" And at that moment, the teams finally assemble at their team emblems! Sniz says: "And speaking of doing things the old-fashioned way, it's time to reveal what old-fashioned challenge WE will be doing for this show!" Sheen says: "Just so long as it's NOT an episode from Season 7 of 'The UltraLord Show', he went through a LOT of 'Later Installment Weirdness' in THAT season!" Gordon says: "Oh, like the 'Later Installment Weirdness' YOU went through on 'Planet Sheen'?" Sheen says: "Hey! At least I was WILLING to TRY something different on my own, even if that meant FAILING! At least I did it on my OWN terms!"

Henry says: "Ooh, he's got you THERE; Gordon! Even a broken clock is right TWICE a day!" Gordon sighs, and says: "It's a fair cop." Sniz says: "And speaking of fair, challenges don't get much more fair than the one we have in mind for this episode! For this upcoming challenge, you will have to pick three members of your own team, to display a talent for our talent show, which will be judged by Blonda, myself, and our own General Barracuda! We will judge you on a scale from 1 to 10, and whoever has the highest combined score, will win for their team!" Squilliam says: "That means everyone else can just quit; we all KNOW that NOBODY is going to be more talented than ME!" Squilivia looks at the REST of her team seriously, and she says: "ANYONE BUT...HIM!!!!" Squilliam THINKS about it, and he says: "Fair enough! I wouldn't WANT to make everyone else feel TOO inferior!" (Confessional) Squilivia breathes a sigh of relief, and she says: "Well, I think he took that well! Maybe he's NOT as bad as I thought; knock on wood!" / Squilliam says: "If I HAD to guess, my guess is that BOTH Franz and Guapo will want to compete in this Talent Challenge! Franz will ATTEMPT to HUMILIATE his brother, and Guapo will inevitably show WHAT happens when you FORCE him to take the gloves off! And SPOILER Alert, it's NOT going to end well for Franz!" / Squidina says: "My experience with shows is more 'Behind the Camera' than in front of it! But I can use my knowledge and expertise of producing a TV show, to help make a theatrical one!" / Freddy says: "If I were confidant about my OWN singing skills, I'd sing a song to Peck, that tells him how I really feel about him! But...since I don't think I have skills necessary to sing a song well, I'm going to recommend that Abby gets a chance to shine!" (End Confessional) Freddy says: "Pick Abby, it's GOT to be Abby! She LOVES to sing! She's a great singer! If ANYBODY can win this challenge for us, it's her!" Abby says: "You really think I can sing, Freddy?" Freddy says: "Of course I do! A lot better than many other singers out there in the world! This could be the opportunity of a life-time for you!" Abby says: "Well, when you put it like that; how can I POSSIBLY pass that up?"

Franz eagerly says: "And I will ALSO compete in this talent contest; no questions asked!" Guapo sighs, and he says: "I will compete as well, on the condition that I go last. I want to make sure Franz doesn't feel pressured by me in ANY way in the slightest!" Franz suspiciously says: "That's...really uncharacteristically generous of you." Guapo seriously says: "It doesn't have to go down the way YOU think it has to go down! You can DROP this attitude of yours; right now! I don't CARE if you DON'T want to work with me; but that DOESN'T give you the excuse for you to FREAK OUT like a JERK and blame ALL of your problems on me!" Franz bitterly says: "So, it's back to THAT stupid static again! You think I don't KNOW what's going on around here?! I know this little game of yours, by now! You think that you can just use your powers of reason and persuasion to convince me to change my mind like I always have, and I'll melt...just the way that Mother and Father did! Just because Mother and Miss Boom De-Ay likes YOU best; you think you're BETTER than I am! Well; I'm NOT an INCOMPETENT! It's my BIRTHRIGHT to be a GREAT delivery guy! I like WORKING my STUPID DELIVERY JOB!!!! I don't know HOW you scored BETTER than me on that Aptitude Test; but I'll prove once and for all that I'm the best Flubb brother, and not my FAT SACK excuse for a brother!!!!" And everyone else gasps simultaneously. But without even flinching, Guapo sighs, and says: "Very well, than. But just remember, YOU WERE WARNED!!!!" (Confessional) Guapo says: "From here on out, he's getting no more chances; no more trust, and no more mercy! From now on, he's no longer my brother; he's just another opponent! And I'm going to take him down, no matter HOW hard that may be!" / Franz says: "If you don't fight for what you WANT in life, you're NEVER going to get it! I've waited for nine YEARS to win another fight, and I am overdue for another win!" / Squiliva shudders, and she says: "Something REALLY bad is about to go down between Franz and Guapo, and I don't know if any of us can STOP it!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "The Fearless Flamingos have decided THEIR participants! Killer Crocodiles, how about you?" Sheen says: "Ooh! Pick me! It's GOT to be me! I know EVERY single episode of 'The UltraLord Show' that's ever aired! I can even recite several of the scripts by heart! I could do that monologue episode where UltraLord was the SOLE focus for most of the episode segment!" Karen asks: "And none of US would have to be involved?" Sheen asks: "And risk Plankton unnecessarily fouling things up like he ALWAYS does? HARD PASS!" Henry says: "Even HE'S got YOUR number, Plankton!" Plankton angrily says: "Like I ASKED for HIS opinion!" Gordon sighs, and he says: "I've got to go. I need to apologize to Human Kimberly, from the bottom of my heart." Lori asks: "Are you SURE that's a good idea?" Gordon says: "It's got to be better than YOU trying to compete against Abby; you wouldn't last ONE challenge against HER talent!" (Confessional) Lori says: "It's a good thing I WASN'T born with an insufferable ego like Bulma was. Otherwise, I'd be really tempted to prove HIM wrong right now!" / Gordon says: "My mom always told me, that as soon as you realize that you've made a mistake; it's important that you apologize for it and mean it. That way, you can start healing your own spiritual karma, and hopefully repair things, as a casual FRIENDSHIP!" (End Confessional) Henry sighs, and he says: "And I guess I'll volunteer, to. ANYTHING to keep Plankton and Karen from fouling things up!" Karen scoffs, and says: "Like you REALLY needed to lump me in with HIM; no offense, dear!" Plankton bitterly says: "None TAKEN, Karen!" Sniz says: "All right, the participants have been decided! You will all have one hour to come up with your routine! So get prepared while we take a commercial break, and than we will proceed with today's challenge on Total Cartoon Paradise City!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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