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Total Cartoon Paradise City!


4EverFreeGuy

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3 hours ago, Hayden said:

A final 3 of Kowalski, Private, and Jenny could be your best final 3 yet!

First off, it's going to be a Final two, not a final three, this season. Secondly, one of the penguins WILL make it to the Final 2, but the other one is sadly, living on borrowed time, thanks to hot-headed Tigress. But the penguin who GETS eliminated, will provide the other, the incentive they need, to make it ALL the way to the Final Two! After all, a final three like that WOULDN'T be very exciting, now would it? Enough said!

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In order to get back to the action, we must first finish up the episode we are already on! So, here is the second and final part of the episode, "Performance Review: Confessions Of A Teenage Chipmunk Queen", for "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back"! I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it! / The commercials end, and in the bleachers, a completely bandaged Bessie Higgenbottom, is now seen sitting next to Lil Deville! Bessie TRIES to say something, but because the bandages are covering her MOUTH, all we can hear is: "MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!!" This ACTUALLY causes Lil to laugh, and she says: "I must admit, Bessie, you've NEVER sounded SO smart!" And Bessie angrily mutters: "MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!!" Norbert asks: "What did she say? Does ANYONE know what she SAID?!" Stimpy says: "Take it from MY personal experience, you DON'T want to know!" Norbert actually THINKS about it, but he decides, and says: "Point taken! Anyways, it's time to bring out the NEXT former eliminated contestant! Right, Daggett?!" Daggett says: "Right, Norbert! He was a penguin, a spy, a LIVING bag of holding, and a guy who both LIKED, but couldn't HANDLE spicy foods, give it up for RICO!!!!" Rico runs onstage on all fours, to THUNDEROUS applause! Daggett is puzzled, and he says: "I didn't ASK for applause!" Norbert says: "I didn't either, but maybe..." Norbert looks up, and sees the "Applause" sign lit up, and Norbert shouts: "HAYDEN!!!!" Hayden shouts: "Sorry, reflex!" And the applause sign is dimmed, but scattered applause can STILL be heard! Daggett shrugs his shoulders, and he says: "Huh! I guess Rico really DOES have some fans!" Norbert says: "There are bound to be fans for EVERY type of contestant on this show, no matter HOW misplaced they might be! But seeing as how I don't want to get into a discussion about it, let's get RIGHT to interviewing Rico!" Daggett says: "Right! Rico, why don't you take a seat?!" Rico just looks all puzzled at Daggett and says: "Bleh?" Norbert says: "Rico, do you WANT to sit, or would you rather stand?" Rico STILL doesn't get it, and says: "Bleh?" Daggett is STARTING to get angry, and RESTRAINING himself, asks: "Well, maybe you would LIKE to tell us what your experience on this show was LIKE for you?!" But Rico STILL looks confused, and just says: "Bleh?" Daggett FINALLY loses it, and screams: "AUGH!!!! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!!!!" Norbert says: "I can't either, and I'M the SMART beaver!" Daggett yells: "NORBERT!!!!" Norbert says: "Well, I AM!!!! I've got the IQ Tests to PROVE it! KATARRA!!!!" Katarra floats onstage to transcendental sitar music, and she says: "You rang? I ALWAYS wanted to SAY that!" Daggett says: "Katarra, we NEED you to do us a HUGE favor and TRANSLATE for us, and EVERYONE at home, EXACTLY what it is that Rico has been SAYING!" Katarra asks: "And what makes you think that I know HOW to do that?" Norbert says: "Well, you CAN read Auras!" Katarra says: "Fair enough. I'll see what I can do."

Katarra feels Rico's stomach, where his heart is located, and Katarra says: "Hmm, I SEE." Daggett says: "So, what has Rico been saying?" Katarra says: "Well, in response to your FIRST question, Daggett, he said: 'I won't take orders from YOU, because YOU are a GREAT, BIG, STOOPY, POOPY, Beaver!' In response to YOUR question, Norbert, he said, 'I'm not sure yet, because I always have a tough time making up my mind.' And in response to your SECOND question, Daggett, he said, 'My experience on this show WAS fine until I got fed those SPICY peppers which caused me to lose control, and caused more than HALF of my team to vote against me, leading me to being HERE, being ASKED STUPID questions from a VERY angry BEAVER, DOOFUS'!" Norbert exclaims: "He said all THAT in ONE 'Bleh'?!" Daggett says: "I heard of 'Reading BETWEEN the LINES' but THAT'S just NUTS! And why did he have to call me a 'Great, Big, Stoopy, Poopy, Beaver'? That's VERY hurtful, you know!" Katarra says: "Don't shoot the messenger, I'm just telling you what he said from his point of view." Norbert says: "Right. And as long as YOU'RE here, Katarra, would you feel like telling us what you thought about the show?" Katarra says: "Well, I was already PRETTY convinced that Tigress was ALREADY only looking out for herself when she got ME eliminated, but watching the episodes AFTER my elimination, have only confirmed it! There is no doubt in MY mind, that Tigress is NOT going to be happy if some SMUG, SMART, know-it-all like KOWALSKI beats HER in the competition! Tigress may currently be regressed to be nine years old, but if I know Tigress as well as I do, she's NOT going to STOP until she UTTERLY decimates Kowalski in a challenge! His time as a contestant on this season of the show is in DANGER!!!!" Rico surprisingly asks: "BLEH?!!!" Katarra says: "Well, it's TRUE!!!! Tigress is obsessed WITH WINNING!!!! And when she DOESN'T win, she gets ANGRY, and she will take OUT her anger on whoever she thinks is the biggest THREAT to her in the game! And since TRYING to hit Jenny would get Tigress nowhere fast, not to mention, she would NEVER betray Po, she's going to target the NEXT biggest threat, who CURRENTLY, happens to be Kowalski! I'm sorry, but I don't see ANY scenario where Kowalski will come OUT of the ensuing mayhem unharmed!" Norbert asks: "Do...do you think there is any HOPE for Kowalski, OR Private?" Katarra says: "Hard to say. Unfortunately, as an eliminated contestant, I have no way to warn Kowalski, nor am I allowed to. Hopefully, Kowalski will be able to UTILIZE his knowledge in order to minimize the damage to himself, and NULLIFY any threats to Private! Because, when it comes right down to it, Kowalski will NEVER allow Tigress to lay a CLAW on Private, without going THROUGH Kowalski first! Tigress MAY be able to eliminate Kowalski, but Kowalski is GOING to make sure that it ends up costing Tigress EVERYTHING, including a chance at the title for this season!" And the audience CHEERS at the revelation, and Rico happily says: "Bleh!"

Katarra chuckles, and she says: "I thought you would be happy about that! Needless to say, Tigress is going to be in for a BIG surprise when she finds out just HOW good Private can be in a competition! I think he's going to surprise nearly EVERYBODY, and go ALL the way, this season!" Daggett says: "As a fellow underdog, I would certainly like to SEE that! Thank you, Rico, and Katarra; why don't you both take a seat in the bleachers?" Rico runs to the bleachers, and sits on Bessie's lap, and even ALLOWS Bessie to pet him, while Katarra floats over to Stimpy. Stimpy says: "You know, I think you would've been a MUCH more interesting contestant to face than Aang, in seasons one and two." Katarra says: "If I had, either the whole Mesogog situation would've never taken place, or Master Coelaceanth would've found SOMEBODY else to inject Mesogog into!" Stimpy thinks about it, and he says: "Good point!" Norbert says: "Our next two contestants BOTH got eliminated in the same episode, so we're interviewing them together!" Daggett says: "One is a crime-fighting teen, who goes by the superhero alias of Danny Phantom!" Norbert says: "The other is a ten year old girl from Little Bark, who loves conditioning her hair, and playing practical jokes on her brother Foo." Daggett says: "Give it up for Danny Fenton, and Fee...actually, we don't KNOW what her LAST name is!" Danny Fenton flies onstage as Danny Phantom, while Fee walks onstage, with a BUNCH of Cubic Zirconium jewelry all OVER her, including a makeshift crown from the Cubic Zirconium she had found! Norbert says: "Wow, that is ONE fancy outfit, Fee!" Fee chuckles, and she says: "Thank you! I made it myself, with a little help from my Yeti Crab adopted brother, of course!" Norbert asks: "You mean, your parents ACTUALLY let you adopt the Yeti Crab as your older brother?!" Fee says: "Heck, yeah! After seeing how helpful he was in that underground treasure challenge, they adopted him post haste! We're not sure if we're going to give him a name yet, but for now, we're calling him 'Yeti'. We feel that when the time is right, HE will know what he wants to be called!" Daggett says: "Right! And just what IS it with that outfit of yours?" Fee says: "Well, after making a set of false teeth for my brother Foo, there was a LOT of material left over, so Yeti and I got busy crafting, and we came up with all of THIS! Now, I'm a regular little fashion model, with REASONABLE working hours of course! I can FINALLY afford a PROPER education and wardrobe, AND my parents can NOW even afford to move BACK to Little Bark! I'll be able to be friends with Harvey, Technobear, and all the other kids again, woo-woo! Who SAYS that miracles aren't possible?!" Norbert says: "Well said! And Danny Fenton, you had your share of struggles this season, and they weren't necessarily game related. What do you think tripped you up more; the famous spirits who were inhabiting your body. Or the fact that you TRIED to keep it to yourself?"

Danny sighs, and he says: "No doubt about it, trying to keep that fact to myself. I've got no one to blame but myself. You see, I've always been used to pretty much figuring out my problems on my own. I mean, SURE, I've got friends back in Casper, but they don't have super powers like I do, so, I've ALWAYS kind of had to be at the FRONT of the action, because I KNEW that I could take pretty much ANYTHING that any evil ghost could throw at me! But, being sort of possessed by famous spirits, kind of threw me for a loop. That was a REAL outside context problem for me, and I didn't know how to deal with it. I guess...I didn't want to admit it, because I thought people would think LESS of me, for being unable to deal with a problem on my own. All I want to say is, I'm sorry for making such a mistake. And, if I ever get a chance to BE on this show again, I won't make that same mistake again!" Daggett says: "FUNNY you should say that! Because, it's time to reveal our SECOND surprise for tonight!" Lil says: "You mean, BESIDES me and Stimpy?!" Norbert says: "You know it! The reason WHY Sniz spent so much time AWAY from the show, during the beginning of the underground treasure challenge, is because he was in talks, to negotiate an end to the STRIKE the Fairy Godparents have been in! Sniz has agreed, to let the Fairies, have MANY concessions they never HAD before, if they come BACK to be interns! Well, I'm happy to tell you, the Fairy Godparents AGREED! They will be getting perks, such as being able to HAVE union breaks, including access to the chocolate fountain, the soda bar, and the buffet table! And because the Fairy Godparents are coming back, that means we're going to have a SECOND part to season four!" Stimpy asks: "A second part?" Daggett says: "That's right! Sniz and Fondue are going to let the Anti-Fairies and our current contestants finish off the competition they're already in, and once it's finished, we'll be able to find out who gets to compete in what WE'RE calling, season 4B of this show; Total Cartoon Legends!!!!" And music from "Legends of The Hidden Temple" plays in the background, to thunderous applause! Norbert says: "As you can guess from the title, Cartoon Legends, from both the past three incarnations of this show, and the one currently in progress, will be able to come back! Season 4B will have 30 episodes, 4 of which, will be Performance Reviews. We still need to determine, the contestants who WILL be returning for the show, before we can figure out, exactly how the Elimination structure will work. But rest assured, when the time comes, I will once again be helping to host the Performance Reviews, with Eliza Thornberry!" Daggett asks: "You're NOT going to compete in Total Cartoon Legends?!" Norbert says: "Nah. I already HAD my fun as a contestant on this show. I'm just going to kick back and commentate on it THIS time! Besides, there's a reason why I'm NOT competing in this upcoming season!" Daggett asks: "Why is that?"

Norbert answers: "A very BIG reason, to give both YOU and Treeflower, the chance you've ALWAYS deserved, and to have ONE more shot at the grand prize and title, in season 4B, of Total Cartoon Legends!" Daggett noticeably tears up, and he asks: "You, want ME, to compete in Total Cartoon Legends, instead of YOU?!" Norbert says: "I still feel kind of bad for the way I treated you in season 2. Not to mention, you didn't even get a CHANCE to be a contestant on THAT season, whereas, I got two! So, I'm making it up to you, by letting both YOU and Treeflower go in my stead! And don't worry, I'll make sure that my kids are well taken care of while you're gone." Daggett actually HUGS Norbert for a change, and he says: "Oh, THANK you Norbert, you're the BEST!" Norbert says: "Well, I certainly try to be!" Danny is intrigued, and says: "Total Cartoon Legends, huh? Well, Fee, looks like me and you, MIGHT get another chance at the title, sooner than we thought!" Fee says: "As long as Harvey gets to come WITH me this time, I have no reason to complain!" Daggett says: "Thank you for your time, Danny and Fee, why don't you both take a seat in the bleachers?" Danny flies over, and takes a seat next to Katarra, and Fee sits next to Bessie. Katarra says: "Your Aura is all healed. It's no longer fractured, the way it used to be." Danny is confused, and says: "Thanks! I THINK!" Fee looks at Bessie, and says: "Don't worry about your hair! I've got a GREAT hair formula at home! I'll call my parents, and they'll give YOU some of MY instant hair growth formula!" Bessie actually perks up, and says: "MMMM!!!!" Norbert says: "Our final guests for tonight, is another two for one deal." Daggett says: "He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it ANYMORE obvious?!" Norbert says: "Actually, you can! He is a member of the famous band, Alvin & The Chipmunks, she is a member of the girl band, The Chipettes; give it up for Theodore Seville, and Brittany Miller!" Theodore and Brittany both walk onstage, holding hands, while the audience is loudly cheering! Katarra says: "Theodore and Brittany Miller ACTUALLY holding hands? Now I HAVE seen everything!" Brittany says: "Oh, it feels SO good to be back here!" Theodore says: "And its SO good to see you at your normal size! Even though, even if you had STAYED giant, there would've JUST been more of YOU to love; TECHNICALLY speaking, of course!" Brittany says: "Of course!" Daggett says: "Now, Theodore, some people think that the reason YOU lost the game, was because you went OUT of your way to try to impress Brittany Miller! Why did you MAKE such a foolish decision to TRY to run up a building, when General Barracuda was throwing barrels at you?! I mean, you should've KNOWN your OWN limitations, and not make such a RASH decision!" Theodore says: "First off, I had no way of knowing General Barracuda was THAT good at throwing barrels! Secondly, no one FORCED me to do it! I made that decision on my own! I may not have won, but at least I made an effort! That's a LOT more than what OTHER people make!"

Norbert says: "I agree! It might not have been conducive to a LONG Term game, but it definitely helped you in your relationship with Brittany. I got to give you props for that! Now, Brittany; it's time we talked with you. Going into this show, you were ARGUABLY, the MOST famous contestant on this season! Why did you come here?" Brittany says: "Well, initially, I mainly did it to help boost my album sales, get on the covers of many famous magazines, and get written about! I DO have fans who like to know what I'm up to! But after getting eliminated the FIRST time, and then getting to come back as an intern, I actually had to do some honest, HARD work, for arguably, the first time in my life. And even though it wasn't easy, the way my singing career is, it felt more honest. I was helping to make sure, that a good show was going to happen, and that a good challenge, was going to take place! I might not have had the BEST scenes, or the MOST scenes, but in a way, I made SURE, that the progress of this show, happened in a way that was dramatic, and effective! I feel proud of my efforts! Of course, if I had known that eating that giant acorn was going to temporarily going to turn me into a giant, I wouldn't have eaten it. That DEFINITELY helped lead to my second elimination! But, I guess it's true with what a certain old saying goes; 'Hindsight is Always 20-20'." Daggett says: "That's certainly the truth! Now, it's time to ask the former eliminated contestants themselves, one FINAL question! Which contestant, do YOU want, to WIN the Final Two, at the end of season 4A, that we're currently in?!" Stimpy says: "Private!" Lil says: "Private!" Bessie says: "MMMM, MMMM!!!!" Katarra says: "She said, 'Private'!" Rico says: "Bleh!" Katarra says: "He said, 'Private, obviously'!" Theodore says: "I guess, Private!" Brittany says: "Awkward! I was going to say, 'Jenny'!" And everyone looks STRANGELY at her! Brittany says: "WHAT?! It's STILL better than saying, 'Tigress'!" Norbert thinks about it, and says: "Personally, that's a good point." Danny says: "Private, he helped me when no one else would!" Fee says: "I can't let Brittany be alone, I want Jenny to win, to!" Katarra says: "And I want Bubble Bass to win!" Daggett doesn't GET the comment at first, and he says: "Of course you do. (Beat) Wait, WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Katarra says: "I have my reasons." Norbert says: "Oh, really? And what would THOSE be?" Katarra says: "THAT, would be TELLING, wouldn't it?" Daggett says: "Very well, than. Guess YOU'RE still going to be mysterious! Well, I want Private to win, to! Norbert, how about you?" Norbert says: "You're NOT going to know who I WANT to win! I REFUSE to be predictable!" (Confessional) Norbert says: "I'm going to go AGAINST the majority decision, and I want Bubble Bass to win, JUST to rub it IN Tigress' over-competitive face!" (End Confessional) Daggett says: "So that's seven for Private, two for Jenny, one for Bubble Bass, and Norbert won't say. But, will any of THOSE three make it to the Final Two? THAT remains to be seen!"

Norbert says: "Thanks for watching us! So, until next time! I'm Norbert Foster Beaver!" Daggett says: "And I'm Daggett!" Norbert says: "And this has been another edition of the Total Cartoon, Performance Review! So until next time, stay tuned in!" Daggett says: "And keep that popcorn popping!" Norbert says: "Awesome! I love this show!" / Episode Notes: No eliminations, due to it being a Performance Review. Featured Song: "The Winner Takes It All", performed by Stimpy and Lil. It's revealed that once "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back" is finished, "Total Cartoon Legends" will begin, and make up the SECOND half of season 4! / Personal Notes: The main reason why I wrote this Performance Review, was because I wanted to explore the thoughts of the eliminated contestants so far, especially since the "Total Drama" equivalent of this season, didn't do so for THEIR previously eliminated contestants! Also, I wanted to explain why it is that Tigress is AGAINST a penguin like Kowalski winning, but how WANTING to target him, will eventually lead to her OWN undoing! But how exactly THAT might happen, remains to be seen! / I hope you enjoyed READING this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

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Let's not waste any time, let's get right onto the next episode of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back", starting now! / Sniz is in the camera monitor room, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, it was a pirate themed challenge for our two teams, and they set out on a voyage to find the magically transported, Fountain of Youth. But as it turns out, the Killer Prawns had two BIG problems! Namely, Tigress' metaphorical GIGANTIC attitude, and Brittany Miller LITERALLY, growing gigantic! Tigress and Po foolishly TRIED to attack Brittany in her gigantic state, only to be EASILY thwarted in their efforts, and literally flung INTO the Fountain of Youth, both of them LITERALLY getting temporarily aged down to the age of nine for their efforts! OUCH! Thankfully for Brittany Miller and for everyone else, her gigantic status turned out to be only temporary. But unfortunately for everyone else, Tigress managed to find the Pendant of Life, for the THIRD time this season! I mean, that feline is like a Pendant of Life finding machine! So, it was due to that fact, that it ended up being Brittany Miller, facing elimination, for the second, and FINAL, time this season! That was quite a crazy challenge, and our upcoming challenge today, is bound to be an even CRAZIER one! Because not only do we have a COOL spy challenge lined up for today, we're officially saying GOOD-BYE to our two teams, and saying Hello, to the MERGED portion of our season! Who will prevail in this new set-up?! Will Tigress and Po be able to survive, DESPITE still being temporarily nine years old?! And will anyone else be able to FIND the Pendant of Life BESIDES Tigress?! Find out the answers to these intriguing questions, on today's action-packed episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! And by the way, I prefer my sodas FIZZY, not FLAT!" / Instead of the normal show open, a cool spy opening plays out, to the tune of a well-known Paul McCartney hit song, "Live and Let Die." Paul McCartney sings: "When you were young and your heart was an open book, you used to say 'Live and let live'. You know you did, you know you did, you know you did. But if this ever changing world in which we're living, makes you give in and cry; say, live and let die! Live and let die. Live and let die. Live and let die. (Instrumental solo) What does it matter to ya? When you got a job to do, you gotta do it well. You gotta give the other fellow hell! (Instrumental solo) When you were young and your heart was an open book, you used to say, 'Live and let live'. You know you did, you know you did, you know you did. But if this ever changing world in which we're living, makes you give in and cry; say live and let die! Live and let die. Live and let die. Live and let die." (Instrumental solo plays until the epic song ends!) / "Live and Let Merge: You're Only Young Twice!" /

The episode opens up properly, in Bubble Bass' cabin room. He is still dreaming, and thanks to the magic of Anti-Cosmo, we get to SEE what he is dreaming! In Bubble Bass' dream, he is in Mrs. Puff's Boating School for some reason, but he doesn't find THAT odd! What he DOES find odd, is that for some reason, he's wearing layers AND layers of clothing, and he feels ABSOLUTELY hot! Mrs. Puff says: "Welcome to another day of Boating School, class. And thanks to General Barracuda, another day of NO SPONGEBOB BEING IN THIS CLASS!!!! I'VE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE!!!! HA, HA, HA--OOPS! Sorry! Reflex! Anyways, I need a volunteer to give an example of, 'What NOT To Do At A Stoplight!' Why don't we go with...Bubble Bass?!" Bubble Bass says: "Me?! I'm not even sure why I'M here! I don't even know where to start!" Mrs. Puff says: "Just pick ANY example you can think of! I'm SURE it will be fine!" Bubble Bass says: "Okay. I'm sorry, but I feel like I've got to demonstrate right here and now, something you should probably NEVER do at a stoplight, or ANYWHERE in public, or I'll pass out from HEAT exhaustion!" And we cut away from looking at Bubble Bass, and looking at the class, as they stare towards Bubble Bass, but we see layer of LAYER of clothing being tossed on the ground towards them, ending with Bubble Bass' OWN regular clothing! It cuts BACK to Bubble Bass, who is COMPLETELY naked now, but no longer sweating heavily! Bubble Bass says: "WHEW! I feel MUCH better now!" But instead of REPULSION, everyone instead yells: "YEAH!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Woah! Who knew there were so MANY souls out there with SUCH bad taste?!" Mrs. Puff claps loudly, and she says: "Wonderful! Magnificent! That is the BEST example of what NOT to do at a stoplight I have EVER seen in my whole life!" / Bubble Bass SUDDENLY wakes up with a jolt, and he says: "Okay, on a scale from 1 to 10, that was the WEIRDEST, most BIZARRE dream, that didn't involve GRAVY, I have EVER experienced, in my ENTIRE life so far!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Even though I'm feeling more confident about myself, I guess that I'm still feeling a little bit...reluctant, to put myself completely OUT to the public, so to speak. Why ELSE would I even HAVE a dream like that?! I mean, do I really EXPECT that if I were to COMPLETELY embrace who I am, that everyone would ACCEPT me for that?! Even I'M not crazy enough to think that real life would work out THAT way! But, wouldn't it be kind of cool if it DID?! I mean, just THINK how much money I would save by NOT buying clothes! The only thing I can think of where that MIGHT work out, is if Blonda would be willing to move me to a clothing optional resort. But knowing how high BLONDA'S standards usually are, I think THAT'S probably going to be a HARD sell, unless I win this season, THAN she might be willing to consider, HOPEFULLY!" (End Confessional)

In Po's hotel room, the temporarily aged down Tigress, is staying with the temporarily aged down Po. Tigress says: "Thank you for letting me sleep in your room, Po. Master Shifu NEVER let me have sleep-overs when I was training with him!" Po says: "Technically speaking, I didn't either, but I think that's because most of the citizens in the Valley of Peace, KNEW of my big eater tendencies! But you know, the only reason I ate SO much, was BECAUSE I was a growing boy, and I NEEDED the nourishment!" Tigress says: "I certainly wouldn't fault you for that! I just think it SUCKS to find myself in such a LOUSY position right now!" Po asks: "What do you mean?" Tigress says: "Simple! Everyone BESIDES Bubble Bass AND you, HATES my guts, and they have every REASONABLE reason to DO so! I have treated them all HORRIBLY, all because I was big, strong, fast, and tough, so they couldn't DO anything about it, realistically! But now that I'm nine years old, everybody else is going to gang UP on me and vote me OFF! And I don't know if I currently HAVE the strength or abilities to STOP them from doing it!" Po says: "Tigress, you have my word, I would NEVER let ANYBODY else try to vote you off!" Tigress asks: "Do you REALLY mean that?!" Po says: "Of course I do! You've made some mistakes, but you don't HAVE to let those mistakes that DEFINE you! You can LEARN from your mistakes, and become all the BETTER for it! And the best part is, this time, you have the CHANCE to do it right, FROM the start! You've got to use ALL your Kung Fu skills to your absolute potential, and ENDEAR yourself to your fellow contestants, NOT endanger them!" Tigress says: "Endear myself...NOT sure if I can DO that!" Po says: "I can help you! I have LOTS of practice endearing myself!" Tigress says: "Thanks for the offer, but I think it's pretty much a moot point right now." Po asks: "Why do you think that?" Tigress says: "Simple! We're at the point where the two teams MERGE! If you think the contestants didn't like me BEFORE, they DEFINITELY have no reason to hold back on me now; especially now that I'm temporarily stuck in THIS shape! I'm feeling really vulnerable, in a way that I haven't for a LONG time! Po, we NEED to have a PLAN of some kind!" Po thinks about it, and he says: "Well, I have ONE plan that might work!" Tigress eagerly asks: "Really! What IS that?!" Po says: "You apologize!" And Tigress falls OVER in an Anime fashion! Tigress shouts: "APOLOGIZE?!!! Is that REALLY the MOST effective PLAN you can come up with?!" Po says: "For a panda who's temporarily nine years old, I think it's a pretty GREAT plan! Besides, how ELSE do you expect to get everyone back on YOUR side?! Just tell them that you're sorry for the things you've done, and that you're going to be more considerate to them in the future!" Tigress says: "Okay, there are two BIG problems with your theory!"

Po asks: "Really! And what would THOSE be?!" Tigress answers: "Okay! Number one: Tigress' DON'T apologize! Bubble Bass apologizes! Master Shifu apologizes! I'm pretty SURE even Master Viper apologizes! Tigress' by nature, do NOT apologize! Second, and MOST important, I NEVER LIE!!!! That is a SIN from my standpoint, and I will NOT stoop to common LYING! And I find it a LITTLE insulting that you would THINK that I would DO such a thing!" Po says: "So, you're saying you're not even going to TRY to save your own game?" Tigress says: "I'm saying that I'm not going to apologize, on the basis that I think it would be a WASTE of everybody's time! Even if I DID apologize, and I DID mean it, which I DON'T, NOBODY'S going to accept my apology! I mean, pretty much everyone else BESIDES Bubble Bass AND you, have tried to vote me off, even when they knew that I probably HAD the Pendant of Life on me! THAT'S how much they HATE me! They're willing to WASTE their votes, just to PROVE a POINT to me! So I'm NOT going to apologize!" Po says: "I see. And what would YOUR plan be, if it doesn't involve apologizing." Tigress says: "The same thing I've been doing ALL season, WIN! And if THAT doesn't work, find the Pendant of Life as my Ace in the hole!" Po asks: "And what if you CAN'T or DON'T find the Pendant of Life FIRST?! Besides, I thought you were suspicious about finding the Pendant of Life so often!" Tigress says: "Don't get me wrong, I DO find it suspicious! But I don't have any leads as to who would be GIVING me the Pendant of Life! Unless...are YOU giving them to me?!" Po says: "Tigress, if I HAD the Pendant of Life, YOU would be the FIRST to KNOW about it!" Tigress says: "Well, if YOU'RE not giving me the Pendant of Life, than who is?" Po thinks about it, and he says: "What about Anti-Cosmo?" Tigress says: "Anti-Cosmo?!" Po says: "Well, who ELSE would it be?! We already know Anti-Cosmo was trying desperately to turn Bubble Bass into a villain, and THAT didn't work! So when his Plan A, failed, he turned to Plan B! I mean, think about the Pendant of Life! I mean, SURE! It's BEEN protecting you! But after CONSISTENTLY being able to find it, AND hold onto it, haven't you noticed something about yourself? I mean, I don't think you can get something for NOTHING, you know!" Tigress gasps, and says: "It's the Pendant of LIFE!!!! Anti-Cosmo must be putting some sort of SPELL onto the Pendant of Life! I mean, I AM a little aggressive, I'll admit that! But it seems like whenever the Pendant of Life is in my paws, it amps up my aggression levels ten-fold! Anti-Cosmo MUST be doing it, because he WANTS a villain, even if that villain is ME! He's been tricking me, and USING me in his SICK little game! Well, I'm NOBODY'S puppet! If Anti-Cosmo thinks he's going to manipulate me into being a villain, he's got another thing coming! We are going to march up to him RIGHT now, and give him a piece of SOMEBODY'S mind, because NO ONE uses Tigress and comes out UNSCATHED! He is going to pay!"

But before Tigress can make good on her claim, the "Mission Impossible" theme plays over the loud-speakers, and Sniz says: "Attention, contestants! The time for relaxation is over! The time has come for the next EXCITING challenge! Meet me by the flagpole in the middle of the camp for more details! Sniz Brokowski, out!" Po says: "Looks like you're vendetta against Anti-Cosmo will have to wait! The next challenge is here!" Tigress says: "Not to worry. You know better than anyone that I can hold a grudge for as LONG as I need to! And Po, promise me RIGHT now that if you find the Pendant of Life, no matter how much I beg, and plead, and cry, do NOT give me the Pendant of Life! I can't afford another fit of aggression like the one I had against Brittany Miller! Agreed?!" Po nods his head, and says: "Agreed! I won't tell ANYONE that I found the Pendant of Life! I'll take it to the grave if I need to! Hopefully, it won't have to come to that!" Tigress says: "Good! Let's go!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "The one major drawback to being such a stubborn, headstrong feline, is that it's very difficult for me to accept, that there ARE some types out there, who can figure out a way to take ADVANTAGE of my nature! Apparently, Anti-Cosmo is such a type! Well, he's going to be in for a RUDE awakening! Because if he thought that I was tough as a potential bad guy, he's going to be in for a WORLD of hurt, when he's beaten by a GOOD guy...Tigress, girl! Tigress is BACK in the good guys side, and I'm GOING to stay there, no matter WHAT it takes!" / Po says: "Personally, I'm all FOR the idea of teaching Anti-Cosmo a lesson! I just hope Tigress has a plan, for what to do when she FACES him! Because, I certainly can't think of a good plan at the moment!" (End Confessional) The contestants run out to the flag pole, and meet up with Sniz, who's currently dressed up as super cool, super SEXY spy! Johnny Krill says: "Wow! I didn't know the Sean Connery convention was in town!" Sniz says: "It isn't! The name's Sniz! Sniz...Brokowski! And today, is the super cool, super awesome, super magnificent SPY challenge!" Kowalski says: "A SPY challenge?! We are GOING to--!!" Private CLAPS his flippers over Kowalski's beak, and says: "Kowalski, don't you DARE say anything more! Now, I know by all RIGHTS, spying IS our strong suit, and by all logical reasoning, it SHOULD be a simple challenge! But, it is a simple known fact, that you can NEVER, EVER, no matter what, CLAIM a preemptive victory, or you are always, Always, ALWAYS, GOING to LOSE!!!!" Kowalski says: "But--." Private says: "ALWAYS!!!!" Kowalski sighs, and says: "We are maybe, going to face a challenge, that may or may NOT be difficult, and which we may or may not win immunity. Is that more accurate." Private says: "MUCH better! Thank you for NOT jinxing anything!" (Confessional) Kowalski says: "Nothing in my clipboard suggests the possibility of losing in this scenario! What does Private see that I don't? Surely, I've covered every angle I can POSSIBLY think of! But what about every angle PRIVATE can think of?!" /

Private says: "Kowalski IS smart! He's the SMARTEST penguin I know! But, he's overlooking the Tigress factor! Being temporarily aged down to NINE, isn't going to stop her from going all out, and trying to stop us from WINNING the challenge! She's a competitive NUT, and she HATES anybody that she thinks could be SMARTER than her! Kowalski has to WATCH his beak around her! If not for HIS sake, than for mine! We've worked HARD to get here, and we CAN'T afford to jeopardize our positions now, especially not with the prize that is currently at stake!" / Johnny Krill says: "All I know is, if I had the $1.4 million grand prize, I would be able to buy SO much steak!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Kowalksi IS right! This IS a spy challenge, and the odds are CERTAINLY going to be challenging, for YOU! Here's how it's going to work! The contestants will be magically sent to Petropolis, home of Verminious J. Snaptrap, to infiltrate his secret lair, retrieve the blueprints for his top secret Death Ray weapon...thingy, and return it to T.U.F.F. headquarters! There's sure to be plenty of dangerous robot guards about, and lots of spy type traps! So, you will need to be equipped with the patented T.U.F.F. Spy Gear, for all your espionage needs! Oh, and one more thing. You no longer need to worry about sleeping in cabins, OR about the team structures! Because, as of right now, the two teams are no more! It's every contestant for themselves! Makes it more fun that way! From now on, the contestant that wins each challenge, along with a guest of their choice, will get to stay in the LUXURY Suite room, the BEST room in the entire hotel! The other contestants, will have to make do with the REGULAR hotel rooms! And as always, whoever doesn't win immunity, will be at the mercy of an Elimination Ceremony. Unless they have a Pendant of Life, of course!" And everyone IMMEDIATELY glares at Tigress! Tigress says: "Don't look at me! It's only been like...five minutes! I couldn't POSSIBLY have the Pendant of Life YET, ANTI-COSMO!!!!" Anti-Cosmo appears, and he says: "Did someone call my name?!" Tigress says: "Don't even TRY that 'Innocent' act around ME, mister! You've been CURSING the Pendant of Life with some kind of Aggression spell, to make whoever HOLDS the Pendant of Live, be filled with aggression FAR above what is NORMAL for them, in order to make it easier for them to do potentially stupid and EVIL things, just so YOU can have a VILLAIN this season! I'm ONTO, mister!" Anti-Cosmo chuckles nervously, and he says: "I have, NO, idea what she's TALKING about! Curse; ME?! Do you think I would STOOP so low?" Po says: "Yes! And since I have no qualms about racking up penalty votes, lest you FORGET the Zarbon example from LAST season, I suggest you come clean now! Because even though I'm still only nine at the moment, I'm pretty SURE I can put a world of HURT on you!" Anti-Cosmo sighs in defeat, and says: "Fine! You got me! I've been cursing the Pendant of Life to make you angry! Now, are you SATISFIED?!"

Jenny says: "No; just disappointed! Bad enough you have to CURSE the Pendant of Life, but where do you get off, constantly GIVING it to Tigress?! You KNOW she already HAS an anger problem!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Precisely! Since Bubble Bass wouldn't SUCCUMB to humiliation and my trying to DEGRADE his self-esteem, I needed someone ELSE to goad into becoming the villain! Tigress fit that bill PERFECTLY! Who else would be SO willing, to ALIENATE everyone else in the game?!" Tigress angrily says: "So help me, when I'm THROUGH with you, I'll make you life a living NIGHTMARE!!!!" Anti-Cosmo says: "You're going to play by the RULES, and you're GOING to LIKE it! Just because I made you be MORE aggressive than normal, that STILL doesn't CHANGE who you are! You are a fool, telling a tale, filled with rage and fury, which SIGNIFIES NOTHING!!!! You didn't NEED much help into becoming the BAD guy THIS season! All you needed, was ONE little push! And it's too late for you to turn back now, FAR too late!" Tigress says: "You're WRONG! I'm no longer going to COLLECT the Pendant of Life! You can't manipulate me, if I REFUSE to play your game!" Anti-Cosmo says: "But what about all the OTHER contestants? Do you think THEY can resist the lure of FREE immunity like you 'CLAIM' you can do?" Tigress says: "What are you talking about?" Anti-Cosmo says: "Oh, so you HAVEN'T guessed my true goal for this season! Well, since you already figured out SO much, allow me to fill in the caps! I have cursed the Pendant of Life, to make sure that ANY contestant who finds it and uses it, has their aggression amplified ten fold; NOT just you Tigress! And while you may be willing to RESTRAIN yourself under the BEST of circumstances thanks to your Kung Fu training, everyone else BESIDES Po has NOT received such training! And while you MAY have standards that you WON'T cross, you have NO idea if the other contestants DO! So, my question to you is, are you WILLING to take the chance, that your fellow contestants wouldn't HURT a child, like YOU?!!!" Tigress gasps, and she says: "You wouldn't DARE!!!!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Try me!" Tigress' fists shake with rage, and she says: "Fine! I'll find your STUPID Pendant of Life first! But just know this; you may have put me into this position, but I SWEAR I'm going to find a way out of it! And when I do--!" Anti-Cosmo says: "I know! You're going to beat the SNOT out of me! Good luck with THAT! I FEAR you are DESTINED to fail!" Tigress says: "The word 'Fail', is NOT in my vocabulary! So there!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "The other contestants may not realize this, but I'm doing everybody a HUGE favor! I'm 'Taking the bullet', or the Curse in this case, for them! If Anti-Cosmo wants to make me the villain, FINE! At least, I KNOW that I can TAKE the punishment, no matter WHAT he tries! But when it's over...KER-LECH!!!! Good-bye, Anti-Cosmo!" / Po says: "Well, Anti-Cosmo certainly isn't STUPID! He's smarter than we thought! It's going to be harder than we thought it would be, to deal with him!" /

Bubble Bass says: "I always thought that there HAD to be a rational explanation for why Tigress was acting MORE aggressive than usual; it was all Anti-Cosmo's doing! In retrospect, I'm GLAD that I haven't been finding the Pendants of Life NOW, especially now that I know that Anti-Cosmo HAS been cursing them! I just hope Tigress is as resilient as she says she is! She can certainly use ALL the resilience she can get!" / Jenny says: "Anti-Cosmo is playing with fire by trying to manipulate Tigress! And sooner or later, when you play with fire, you're inevitably going to get burned! As a robotic superhero, I consider it my duty to take care of ANY threats; no matter HOW super-natural or filled with magic they might be!" / Kowalski says: "It's a good thing Private STOPPED me when he did! I certainly didn't anticipate the possibility that the Pendant of Life was being cursed! This could complicate our chances of survival, especially if Tigress FINDS it AGAIN, like she SAYS that she's going to! If she finds it again, that could be the end for ALL of us! I must do whatever it TAKES to keep Private safe! If Tigress WANTS that Pendant of Life, she's going to have to go through ME first, and I will NOT make it EASY for her!" / Private says: "I'm sure Kowalski has already made a vow to protect me! I just hope he has a plan to minimize any possible damage, because Tigress will NOT be playing with kid gloves!" / Johnny Krill says: "So, the Pendant of Life FILLS you with aggression, and OBVIOUSLY, amplified strength! Just look at what TIGRESS has been doing, ever since she has been USING the Pendant of Life! She wouldn't be so TOUGH without the Pendant of Life! If I HAD the Pendant of Life, I'D be the one calling ALL the shots, and Tigress would have to ask ME for protection for a change! I'm SICK of taking orders from HER!!!! It's time for a change of POWER structure around here! I'm going to make Tigress PAY for all the DEGRADING things she has DONE to me! She may have spent all her time 'Kicking the Dog', or Prawn, in this case! But she's soon going to find out, that the Prawn, is about to bite BACK, and he's going to bite HARD!!!!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Anti-Cosmo, you're on THIN ice! This is your second MAJOR infraction this season! You better not MAKE any more, or it WILL be your LAST!" Anti-Cosmo sarcastically says: "Ooh, I'm SO scared! Which you gonna do, fire ME?! We all know THAT'S not going to happen! You NEED my magic! Otherwise, you'd have NO ONE to provide all these cool challenges for you, and you KNOW it, to!" Fondue says: "Ooh, he's got you THERE, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Touche. Fortunately, I have an ACE up my sleeve! General Barracuda?" General Barracuda steps in, and says: "How DARE you mess up with MY honeymoon?! I was busy vacationing with Bonnie in the Bahamas, when you had to BUTT in and ruin my vacation! Well, you better poof everyone to Petropolis RIGHT now, if you WANT to keep your PRETTY face!"

Anti-Cosmo gulps nervously, and says: "Very well! Everyone, you have one hour to complete your mission! If no one gets the blueprints, we'll go to a tie-breaker question. Hopefully, it won't come to that. At the end of one hour, you will automatically be poofed back here. So, no pressure! I hope you enjoy yourselves! I have a sinking feeling that I sure WON'T!" Anti-Cosmo waves his wand, and the contestants are warped to Petropolis! Sniz says: "And our contestants are now in Petropolis! What kinds of dangers will they find in Snaptrap's lair? Who will find the CURSED Pendant of Life first?! And HOW will General Barracuda PUNISH Anti-Cosmo THIS time?!" General Barracuda chuckles, and he says: "I can think of SEVEN ways, right off the top of my head!" Sniz says: "Find out the answers to these questions when we come back, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" Anti-Cosmo poofs a FULL set of eye-glasses over himself, and he says: "You wouldn't DARE hit a guy with glasses on, would you?!" General Barracuda GRABS the eyeglasses, and HITS Anti-Cosmo WITH the eyeglasses! Anti-Cosmo says: "Oh; you hit a guy WITH glasses! That's...actually well-played." / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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I have...mixed emotions about continuing this so to speak, especially since I don't know if anyone is going to read it. But, the show MUST go on! So here is the second and final part of the episode, "Live and Let Merge: You're Only Young Twice", for "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" / The commercials end, and the action focuses on Marlene, in the camera monitor room. Marlene says: "Hi, it's me again! And I've GOT to talk about my agent about getting my appearances in THESE episodes, sooner rather than later! In any case, the contestants have just been transported to Petropolis, in front of the brand new D.O.O.M., lair, where they are sure to find plenty of traps and dangers hidden within the fortress! Let's watch and see!" / The camera switches to the contestants, now standing in front of the new D.O.O.M., lair. Po says: "Dudley never told ME that Verminous J. Snaptrap had a lair THIS fancy!" Bubble Bass says: "I guess the rat has been BUSY targeting places far AWAY from the T.U.F.F. agency, in order to keep Dudley, Kitty, Keswick, and Chameleon from catching him!" Tigress says: "Not to mention the fact, that he's only doing this to impress Angelica! What does SHE see in HIM?!" Kowalski says: "Maybe it's NOT what she sees, it's what she KNOWS about him! After all, while Snaptrap isn't EXCEPTIONALLY skilled as a villain, he does have some TACTICAL knowledge that can come in pretty handy during the right moments! Not that it would EVER come close to MY level of knowledge, of course!" Private says: "What I still don't know is, where should we enter the place? The blue-prints for the Death Ray...thingy, could be ANYWHERE!" Johnny Krill says: "That's for YOU to figure out! The teams are FINISHED, remember! Besides, it's time that a REAL leader takes charge of this game!" Tigress sarcastically says: "Oh, SURE!!!! NOW you're a real leader, as IF!!!!" Johnny Krill angrily says: "Don't TOY with me, TIGRESS!!!! I have gotten REALLY sick of your LOUSY attitude, and your REPULSIVE personality! And don't think that just because you're nine, OR a girl, that I'm going to go EASY on you! You have had this coming for a LONG time, Tigress! YOU pushed me into this, and now I'm going to PUSH back! You wanted ME to be aggressive? Well, WISH granted! And I'm going to be aggressive to you TO, Tigress! How do you THINK you can compete against THAT?!" And Tigress just gulps nervously! (Confessional)

The young Tigress breathes into a paper bag, puts the paper bag away, and speaks nervously: "What have I DONE?!!! This is ALL my FAULT! If I had just LISTENED to Katarra in the FIRST place, this wouldn't...why does NOTHING ever work out the way I PLAN?!!! Well, I don't CARE how I got into this MESS, I am GOING to get out of it! And when I BEAT Johnny Krill OUT of this game, he's going to WISH he never met ME!" / Johnny Krill says: "It's WAY too late for ME to wish that I NEVER met Tigress! And it felt SO good taking down Tigress like that! Payback's a female dog, isn't it, Tigress?!" / Bubble Bass says: "I seriously, cannot believe the weirdness of everything. Starting this game, everyone else thought that I was going to be the MEAN member of my alliance this season, only for ME to quickly become the NICE one, and Tigress to become the MEAN one! Now that Tigress DOESN'T want to be the mean member anymore, now Johnny Krill, of ALL contestants, DOES want to become the MEAN member of my alliance! How did I become the 'Token Good Team-mate' of my alliance ANYWAYS?! I guess it's a weird bit of karma, I guess. Either that, or maybe I feel a little bit guilty for not giving more of my jewels to Larry way back in the first episode! Well, I'm going to make a promise. If I win, I'll give another portion of my winnings to help Larry, and everyone in Bikini Bottom. Maybe that will help make my DREAMS, stop being so weird!" / Po says: "I feel so BAD for Tigress! Yes, she MADE a mistake to mistreat Johnny Krill, and I think she clearly realizes that she did a LOUSY thing by doing so! But that DOESN'T give Johnny Krill the excuse to FREAK OUT like a JERK and try to threaten her! I've got to protect her somehow! If not for her sake, than for MY sake, and Master Shifu's!" (End Confessional) Johnny Krill says: "Now, stand aside, lightweights, and watch the REAL champion of this season, win it all!" And Tigress just looks flabbergasted! (Confessional) Tigress says: "WOW!!!! Did I sound THAT egotistical and POMPOUS when I was playing the 'Toughness' card?! Why didn't somebody TELL me that I was sounding SO stupid?! Well...if somebody DID, it's clear that I once again, didn't listen to it in my ARROGANCE! I've REALLY got to get some therapy once this season is over!" / Johnny Krill says: "Trying to PRETEND to be Tigress' so-called 'Friend' and cohort, was holding me back! Now, I don't have to hold back anything anymore, and I can go ALL out, from here on out!" (End Confessional) Johnny Krill says: "Let's get DANGEROUS!!!!" And Johnny runs up to the front door, and Private says: "Johnny, WAIT!!!!" But Johnny doesn't hear it, and kicks DOWN the front door, and is immediately ZERG-rushed by a bunch of silver robots, designed to look like Snaptrap, that Johnny has to begin fighting off! Po says: "Well, we can't go THAT way, NOW what are we going to do?!"

Jenny says: "Well, I don't know about YOU, but as for me, I can FLY!" And Jenny rockets off, and begins using her eye-scanners, to detect the best way into the fortress! Private says: "We better get going to, Kowalski!" Kowalski says: "Indeed! Those high-wall air-conditioning vents overhead should be spacious enough for us! Luckily, we have these spy grappling hooks, to help us ascend to those vents!" And Kowalski and Private BOTH begin to ascend to the vents! Tigress says: "Po, what are we going to do?!" Po says: "Don't worry, a Kung Fu master ALWAYS finds a way! Maybe there's an opening somewhere, low on the ground! Come follow me!" And Po runs around the building to the left, and Tigress follows him! Than Po suddenly stops, and Tigress accidentally runs INTO him! Tigress says: "Sorry! I still haven't fully regained my stopping skills, yet!" Po says: "That's okay! I found our point of entry! A low window, obviously into an underground lair! You better go in FIRST, Tigress! After all, I think the effects of the Fountain of Youth will wear off soon, and if they do, you can STILL probably squeeze through some tight spaces, whereas it would be hard for ME to do so!" Tigress happily says: "Po, I LOVE YOU!!!!" And Tigress kisses Po on the lips! Tigress says: "This means SO much to me, because I know now, that you respect me!" Po says: "Technically, I always have! But I'm glad that you now realize this, to!" (Confessional) Po says: "Technically speaking, because I'm technically NINE right now, this marks the FIRST time I've ever been kissed by Tigress! It was WONDERFUL!" / Tigress says: "I was feeling apprehensive about my whole situation; with Johnny Krill turning on me and everything. But with Po still by my side, I don't feel so afraid anymore. I KNOW I can pull through this! I just have to BELIEVE in myself!" (End Confessional) Po opens the window, and says: "Go, Tigress! You're only young TWICE! See what I did there? I just did a title drop!" Tigress says: "Clever! Now, let's go!" Tigress goes into the basement, and Po quickly follows, but they are quickly stopped by Bird Brain, and a bunch of bird shaped drones! Po says: "Bird Brain?! What are YOU doing here?! You're not a member of D.O.O.M.!" Bird Brain says: "True enough, but I always come here on D.O.O.M.'s pizza night Sundays, where we play Backgammon, Monopoly, and any other kind of game that we can think of! Thanks to me no longer investing money into STUPID one-joke lackeys, I have managed to fund my resources into something much more resourceful! These drones, while small, contain some DANGEROUS fire-power! You would be STUPID to try to fight them all!" Tigress says: "Or incredibly gifted! Po, how many do YOU want to take?!" Po asks: "How many are there?" Tigress looks at all of them, and says: "50!" Po says: "Than half!" Tigress says: "I LIKE fighting with YOU already!" /

Bubble Bass is thinking his options over, and he says: "Okay, how am I going to approach this? Flying is out, there's no way I can fit through a tiny window, or the over-head vents, and going through the front door would be tactical suicide! But I've GOT to get into the D.O.O.M. Lair, somehow!" Than Bubble Bass gets an energy saving light bulb over his head, and he says: "I've got an idea! And it just might WORK!!!!" / Bubble Bass is at the back door to the D.O.O.M. Lair, dressed up in a Pizza uniform, holding four boxes of Pizza, and a two-liter bottle of soda. Bubble Bass rings the door bell, and in his best Italian accent, yells: "Pizza delivery!!!!" Ollie answers the door, and he says: "Wonderful timing! We just ran out of our FIRST order of pizza, but we thought you were going to be longer!" Bubble Bass is SURPRISED by the contrived coincidence of the whole thing, but decides to roll with it, and he says: "Well, we're nothing short of efficient! So, how are you going to pay me?" Ollie looks away to look for his wallet, and he says: "I think I've got a few COUNTERFEITED Benjamin's in here..." (KONK!!!!) And Bubble Bass knocks Ollie out with the two-liter bottle of soda! Francisco rushes in, and he says: "Ollie! What did YOU do to my partner?!" Bubble Bass DROPS the accent, and in his normal voice, says: "Something like THIS!!!!" And he throws the boxes of pizza at Francisco, and they all open up, and the HOT pizza FALLS onto Francisco! Francisco yells: "AHHH!!!! HOT PIZZA!!!! It's burning HOLES in ME!!!! And it's PINEAPPLE! I'm ALLERGIC to PINEAPPLE!!!! AHHH!!!!" And he runs away! Bubble Bass says: "That worked out surprisingly well. Now, time to find the blue-prints!" / Jenny is still scanning, until she finds something! Jenny says: "Ah-hah! By my scanners, the blue-prints should be right in Snaptrap's penthouse suite, on the top floor! I always DO like to make an entrance! Let's see how Snaptrap likes my steel DRILL!!!!" And Jenny's left arm changes into a drill, and she DRILLS through a skylight window, straight into what appears to be a gigantic HALL of mirrors! Jenny says: "WOAH! I wasn't expecting THIS!!!!" And Snaptrap's image, suddenly appears on ALL the mirrors! Snaptrap says: "Congratulations, Jenny! You found ME! And in record time, to! But which ONE of me, is the REAL Snaptrap, and NOT just a reflection on a mirror?! Choose wisely, because the REAL me will DISINTEGRATE you into molecules!" Jenny sighs, and says: "Amateur! Let me show you how I do it!" Jenny equips herself with a laser gun, chooses the BEST trajectory, and FIRES a shot which RICOCHETS off all the mirrors, until it EVENTUALLY hits the REAL Snaptrap at the FAR end! Snaptrap jumps into clear view, and yells: "OUCH!!!! That HURT, you JERK!!!!" Jenny says: "It was kind of supposed to! No more smoke and mirrors, Snaptrap!" Snaptrap says: "So you FOUND me, but you will never CATCH me! Ha, HA!!!!" And Snaptrap runs through a brown door at the far end! Jenny says: "We'll just see about THAT!"

And Jenny flies in pursuit of Snaptrap, opens the door, and is SURPRISED to find herself, seemingly floating in black outer space! Jenny says: "Huh? What's up with THIS?!" Snaptrap's voice echoes through the void, and he says: "Welcome to round TWO! I didn't want to have to do THIS, but I'm going to show you my TRUE form! Feast upon the ultimate FORM of evolution, and get a load of me, NOW!!!!" And a giant GREEN alien, appears in the center of the void! And begins shooting volts of electricity at Jenny! Jenny says: "Sheesh! I wasn't expecting THIS, but I'm NOT going to let it stop me! Now think; in a situation like this, what would Mega Man do? He would use what would SEEM like the most USELESS tool he has on hand, and use it AGAINST the final boss! So, what's the most seemingly useless tool that I have?!" Jenny looks through her data banks, while dodging the volts, and she spots something! Jenny says: "THAT should do it! The bubble blast!" Jenny equips a BIG bubble wand, in front of an arm cannon, and Jenny says: "All right, WHATEVER you are, prepare to be BLOWN away!" And Jenny starts SHOOTING bubbles at the alien, and sure enough, it begins to SCREAM in loud pain! Jenny says: "Called it! And as soon as I'm finished with YOU, I'm going to FIND those Blueprints!" / Meanwhile, despite Birdbrain's drones doing their best, they are no match for Po and Tigress, and are quickly SMASHED to pieces! Tigress says: "Did you REALLY think those drones will stop us? You clearly don't KNOW us very well, do you?" Birdbrain says: "You may have stopped me THIS time, but I will be back ANOTHER time! And when I come--!" Po says: "Talk to the FIST!!!!" And Po throws a HAYMAKER at Birdbrain's face, and knocks him out, cold! Tigress says: "Nice punch, Po!" Po says: "Thank you! Come to think of it, that might TECHNICALLY qualify as the first punch I've ever thrown, due to my age! Now, let's find those blueprints together!" Tigress says: "Thank you, Po; you're the best!" Po says: "Well, I certainly try to be!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "If we had more time, we would've called T.U.F.F., and asked Dudley and/or Kitty to come arrest Birdbrain. But we already SPENT fifteen minutes fighting those drones, and we didn't have anymore time to waste! We'll call T.U.F.F., AFTER we're done, and have them sort out everything THEN!" / Po says: "Tigress certainly could've used a friend and partner like me the FIRST time she was young! Thankfully, she certainly has that partner now! I would do ANYTHING for her, as long as it's legal and moral, of course!" (End Confessional) The penguins are making their way through the vents, and Private says: "This sure is taking a long time, Kowalski! Are you SURE you know where we are GOING?!" Kowalski says: "Patience, Private. I'll know the room we need to enter into once I see it." Then Kowalski gasps, and he says: "And I think I just found it!" Private asks: "Where?!"

Kowalski says: "I'll show you!" Kowalski careens Private's head down, to look down through an air vent entrance, and they see the set of blue prints for the Death Ray...thingy, right below them! Kowalski says: "See? It's right below us!" Private says: "Kowalski, I'm sorry I ever doubted you!" Kowalski says: "It's IMPORTANT that you doubted me! After all, if I didn't have you to question my methods, I would NEVER double-check them, to make sure whether or not I was right or wrong about something! It's IMPORTANT for you to ask questions! Asking questions, is how you learn! So, always remember this Private! Even if the unthinkable happens, and I get eliminated, NEVER stop asking questions!" Private says: "All right, Kowalski! I promise, I won't stop asking questions!" (Confessional) Kowalski says: "That piece of information was the LAST thing I could teach Private! From here on out, everything that Private learns, will be on his own! I've helped him this far, now he needs to help himself the rest of the way! It won't be long before THAT needs to happen, if my calculations are correct!" / Private says: "Right now, I'm not sure what to think. I know Kowalski is PROUD of me for having come so far, in a relatively short amount of time. But from the way he's talking, he's acting like he doesn't HAVE much time left in the competition. Is he THAT worried about Tigress?! I sure hope Kowalski knows what he's doing!" (End Confessional) Kowalski says: "That blueprint is probably surrounded by lasers! Give me that hairspray can, so we can check!" Private rummages through his T.U.F.F. Bag, and he says: "Found it!" Private hands the hairspray can to Kowalski. Kowalski shakes it up, sprays the hairspray can. And sure enough, a field of lasers is situated RIGHT in the middle of the room! Kowalski says: "Just as I thought. I'll have to shimmy you down, so you can collect the blueprints!" Private says: "But Kowalski, this is the FIRST challenge of the merged portion! Whoever wins the first challenge of the MERGED portion of the game, almost NEVER wins the Final Two or Three at the END of the game!" Kowalski says: "But we have no real CHOICE! If one of us doesn't win it, Tigress certainly WILL!!!!" Johnny Krill shouts: "You mean, I WILL, wherever YOU are!!!!" And BOTH of the penguins are SHOCKED, and they fall RIGHT through the vent, TOUCHING the lasers, and setting off the alarm! Kowalski says: "Now you've DONE it! Are you SATISFIED?!" Johnny Krill is standing right in the doorway into the room, and he says: "Very! You have no idea how many robots I had to thrash, just to get here! But all my strength and planning has paid off! And how ironic it is, that you THOUGHT it would be Tigress that you would have to worry about, when all along, you should have been worried about ME, because I'M taking control of this game, NOW!!!!" Tigress shouts: "Give it UP, Johnny!" Po and Tigress appear in another doorway, and Po says: "You will NEVER stop Tigress, not as long as I'M around!"

Johnny says: "How helpful it is for me to HEAR that! It's a problem I should RECTIFY right NOW!!!!" Bubble Bass shouts: "Johnny, STOP!!!!" And Johnny stops dead in his tracks, and he shouts: "Bubble Bass, you're HERE?! I'm SHOCKED!" Bubble Bass says: "You shouldn't be! After all, I can be VERY athletic, given the right incentive! And I DON'T approve of YOU hurting a child!" Johnny says: "She's not a child, she's TIGRESS! Two TOTALLY different things!" Bubble Bass says: "Maybe so, but you're forgetting ONE important detail! Without the Pendant of Life, if you HARM Tigress, those Penalty Votes WILL count against you! And you have just ALIENATED all of us, in trying to reach your goal! Instead of trying to SUPPLANT Tigress, you just SHIFTED the target from Tigress, onto YOURSELF! How are you going to get yourself out of THAT mess, HUH?!" Johnny says: "Oh, I have ONE idea in mind! If ANY of you step ONE foot CLOSER to the Blueprints, I'll GRAB them, and TEAR it up to PIECES! If I can't win this challenge, than NOBODY can!" Kowalski gasps, and he says: "You're BLUFFING!!!!" Johnny says: "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. It's really HARD to tell with me, given how I've been 'Obfuscating stupidity' until now. But can you REALLY afford to TAKE that CHANCE?!" Snaptrap screams: "NO!!!!" And an EXPLOSION blasts through the walls, and in slow-motion, Snaptrap is thrown INTO Johnny Krill, who collides and HITS Kowalski, and all THREE of them slam into the wall in the FAR end, and Johnny's claw SMASHES into a Fire Alarm Panel, and in the Fire Alarm Panel, out comes FLYING the Pendant of Life, and Tigress JUMPS for it! But as she does, the Fountain of Youth effect suddenly WEARS off on BOTH her and Po, and she manages to CATCH it in her now adult paws, before Jenny can fly in, and get it for herself! The action resumes to normal speed, and she says: "I've got it! I've got the Pendant of Life!" Bubble Bass says: "Jenny, what happened?!" Jenny says: "Snaptrap was trying to pull the old, 'Mega Man 2', fake-alien bit on me. Needless to say, I wasn't FOOLED for one minute! That explosion was just Snaptrap's machine, running out of energy, and exploding!" Tigress shouts: "Bubble Bass, grab the blueprints!" Bubble Bass asks: "Really, why?" Tigress says: "Because we can't let Johnny have it! Now do it!" Bubble Bass says: "I hope you have a plan in mind!" And Bubble Bass grabs the blueprints, and makes for the exit! Tigress says: "It's over now, Johnny! You tried to mess with me, and now you'll pay the price!" Johnny says: "Oh, I won't PAY the price! Kowalski WILL!!!!" And Johnny HOLDS the weakened Kowalski in his hands! Johnny says: "Hand the Pendant of Life to ME, and VOTE as I say, or else Kowalski will join Manfredi and Johnson, in Skipper's list of FALLEN penguin comrades!" Kowalski weakly says: "Don't worry about me, just kick his BUTT!" Johnny yells: "DON'T CONFUSE THE ISSUE!!!!" Tigress says: "WAIT!!!! Don't hurt him! Here's the STUPID Pendant of Life!" And Tigress gives the Pendant of Life into Johnny's outstretched pincers.

Johnny says: "A WISE decision Tigress! And thanks to your generosity, I no longer HAVE to harm Kowalski, because the FALL out of this fifty story WINDOW will do it FOR me!" Tigress screams: "WHAT?!!!" Johnny says: "You're FAR too trusting and noble for your own GOOD, Tigress! And allow me to show you for once and for all, why I WILL triumph in the end, because YOU are dumb!" (KONK!!!!) And Snaptrap HITS Johnny on the head, with a frying pan of doom! Tigress says: "Snaptrap! You saved us, but why?" Snaptrap says: "Don't get me wrong! I could care LESS about which one of you WINS the competition! I just don't approve SMUG little JERKS like Johnny waltzing in, acting like they OWN the place! Now do me a favor, and don't you DARE lose to him!" Private says: "Got it!" Jenny asks: "But what are you going to do to Johnny Krill?" Tigress gets a smart idea, and she says: "First, give the Pendant of Life back to me, he LIED to me! The deal's OFF!" And Snaptrap takes the Pendant of Life FROM Johnny, and gives it back to Tigress! Tigress smiles, and says: "Thank you. And you've got THIRTY minutes before he's warped back to camp at Lake Michigan. So...do with him what you WILL!" Snaptrap smiles, and he says: "Oh, you can COUNT on it!" Johnny Krill recovers, and he weakly says: "Mother!" The other contestants BESIDES Johnny Krill, quickly rush out of the D.O.O.M. Lair, not even BOTHERING to look back on how Snaptrap decides to punish Johnny, but the other contestants can HEAR Johnny's screams, all the way over at the T.U.F.F. Headquarters! Bubble Bass is already there when the others arrive, and he shudders, and says: "Ooh! I'm SO glad I turned good when I did! That could've EASILY been me, if I didn't straighten out so early!" Tigress says: "It almost could've been ME, and it almost was! But I've GOT the Pendant of Life now, but this time, I WON'T let aggression get the better of me!" Dudley comes out and says: "You're here! And Bubble Bass, you brought me the blueprints to the Death Ray...thingy." Bubble Bass says: "Is that what EVERYONE calls it?" Dudley sarcastically says: "Oh, I'm TERRIBLY sorry! And YOUR blueprints to YOUR cleverly named Death Ray...thingy is WHERE?!" Jenny says: "Ooh, he's got us THERE!" Bubble Bass shrugs, and says: "Fair enough. Although, technically speaking, Tigress let me have them. She's a little rough around the edges, but she's REALLY good once you get to know her." Dudley says: "I'm sure she is. In any case, Bubble Bass, you WIN immunity for today's challenge! Use it wisely!" Bubble Bass says: "I will!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Time's up!" / And suddenly, everyone is warped back to the camp at the island in Lake Michigan! Sniz says: "You're back! And Bubble Bass has won the challenge!" Marlene says: "And I must say, good job!" General Barracuda GASPS, as a very bruised, BATTERED, and bandaged Johnny has appeared with the other contestants! General Barracuda says: "Buck Private, Johnny Krill, what's HAPPENED to you?!" Private laughs, and he says: "BUCK Private?! He has a lower ranking than ME!!!!"

Johnny weakly says: "Snaptrap happened to me!" General Barracuda says: "What did I tell you about picking fights against evil VILLAINS?! Never, EVER, mock them in their OWN evil lair, unless you have a plan, and you are the GOOD guy!" Johnny says: "But I AM the good guy!" Kowalski says: "Not after that little STUNT you tried to pull with ME! You TRIED to threaten my own SAFETY! Did you think I wouldn't take it PERSONALLY?!" Private says: "It's OVER, Johnny! You've burned ALL your bridges, and you have no one else to turn to!" Johnny looks at Bubble Bass, and weakly asks: "Alliance buddies?" Bubble Bass says: "Consider our alliance, and YOU getting any money from ME, terminated! Because I have STANDARDS, and Good is NOT Dumb, and Good is NOT Soft, or at least I'm not!" Johnny says: "Rats!" Sniz says: "In any case, even though you're all angry, we STILL have an Elimination Ceremony to do, and we're going to do it, tonight! Bubble Bass, you get the Luxury Suite, as the first winner of the merged portion of the game, and immunity! Everyone else, is fair game!" (Confessional) Kowalski says: "Private SAVED me! If he hadn't stopped me from jinxing everything, I wouldn't be here right now! I owe him a debt of gratitude! I'm going to put in a recommendation to Skipper, and put him on the fast track, to getting promoted to at LEAST Corporal!" / Tigress chuckles, and she says: "I just had a good 'Talk', with Anti-Cosmo. Thanks to my, 'Reason,' and 'Persuasion', A.K.A., my right fist and my left fist, Anti-Cosmo has AGREED to remove the curse on the Pendant of Life, and let us play the game the way we WANT to!" / Anti-Cosmo is heavily bandaged ALL OVER his body, except for his face, and he weakly says: "All along, I thought I was the Evil that was NOT a toy that should be messed with! Turns out, TIGRESS was the toy I shouldn't have messed with! I'm never going to make THAT mistake again!" / Bubble Bass says: "Normally, I would say it was all over except the shouting. But I know better than to make any presumptive judgments. Therefore, we're just going to have to wait and see." (End Confessional) It is now night-time, and the contestants are sitting around the campfire. Noticeably, Johnny is now bandaged in his left arm, his left leg, and is wearing a brace around his head, his right leg, and his right arm. Sniz says: "Welcome to the first elimination ceremony, as a merged unit. You all know the drill, so; it's time to choose someone you want to eliminate, and HOPE that they DON'T have the Pendant of Life!" (Confessional) Kowalski makes an "X" over Johnny's card, and he says: "For once, change is a GOOD thing!" / Tigress angrily makes an "X" over Johnny's card, and she says: "See you NEVER, Traitor!" / Po makes an "X" over Johnny's card, and Po says: "Sorry dude, but you picked the WRONG tiger to mess with!" / Johnny, with his TEETH, makes an "X" over Tigress' card! Johnny says: "You'll get eliminated soon enough, I just KNOW it!" / Jenny puts an "X" over Johnny's card, and she says: "It's got to be YOU, it's no CONTEST!" /

Bubble Bass puts an "X" over Johnny's card, and he says: "Sorry, but YOU lied to ME, and betrayed me FIRST, and I can't, and I WON'T associate with someone like that! It's just not good karma!" / Private makes an "X" over Johnny's card, and he says: "Well, here goes SOMETHING!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "The votes have been cast, so it's now time--." Tigress says: "Hold it! I'm going to stick it to Johnny ONE last time, and play the Pendant of Life, on ME!!!!" Johnny screams: "WHAT?!!!" Tigress says: "You SHOULD'VE played with honor when you had the CHANCE, Johnny! You've got no one to blame, but yourself!" Sniz says: "The Pendant of Life is genuine, that means all votes for Tigress will NOT count! One vote for Tigress, by JOHNNY, doesn't count! And let me just count the rest...and all the OTHER votes, by ALL the OTHER contestants have been CAST for Johnny! That means all the other contestants, will receive a SAFE marshmallow! And Johnny, I hope you can DODGE the Anti-Fairy marshmallow!" Johnny says: "But I--." But Johnny doesn't get to complete his thought in time, as Johnny is in no condition to MOVE fast enough, the Anti-Fairy marshmallow HITS him in the stomach, and causes his body to break out in RASHES and ZITS!!!! General Barracuda says: "Sorry! I guess the Anti-Fairy Marshmallow did something BAD, this time!" Sniz says: "Lucky for you, the Slingshot of Shame is currently undergoing maintenance tonight. So, you get to take the Limo of Shame home, tonight! Johnny says: "Jenny, DO something!" Jenny says: "I have no loyalty to you!" Johnny says: "Po?" Po says: "See you, wouldn't want to BE you!" Johnny says: "Bubble Bass?" Bubble Bass says: "Sorry, I've got a luxury suite with both my name, and Tigress' name on it!" Johnny says: "Tigress?" But Tigress is busy playing a Nintendo 3DS, and just waves him off! Johnny says: "Et tu, penguins? Et tu?" Kowalski says: "Au revoir, sayonara." Private says: "Don't let the door hit you on the way--." Johnny shouts: "Okay, FINE!!!! I'm eliminated! But you'll be SORRY! I mean, this game show just got 80% LESS awesome!" (KONK!!!!) And Johnny hits his HEAD on the top of the Limo of Shame, and Johnny shouts: "Okay, 79%!" / Sniz says: "And just like that, Johnny is unexpectedly the first contestant eliminated from the team portion of the challenge! Now we are down to the Final Six contestants! Which one of our remaining contestants, has what it takes to go all the way to the Final Two, and win the title, and the $1.4 million grand prize? It's STILL anyone's game! So be sure to tune in next time, for another edition of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! All fans are welcome!" /

Episode Notes: Johnny Krill is eliminated in this episode, making Bubble Bass the only representative from "Spongebob Squarepants", remaining in the competition. Featured song in this episode: Paul McCartney & The Wings, "Live And Let Die". Tigress finds and uses the Pendant of Life for the fourth time this season. It is revealed that prior to this episode, the Pendant of Life was being cursed by Anti-Cosmo, to increase the aggression of whoever held it and used it, by ten-fold. But thanks to Tigress' intervention, it is no longer being cursed. Bubble Bass wins immunity in the first portion of the merged part of the game. Eliminated Contestants: #14: Bessie Higgenbottom ("The Mighty B!"). #13: Rico ("The Penguins of Madagascar"). #12: Katarra ("Avatar: The Last Airbender"). #11: Theodore Seville ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"). #10. Danny Fenton ("Danny Phantom"). #9. Fee ("Harvey Beaks"). #8. Brittany Miller ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"). #7. Johnny Krill ("Spongebob Squarepants"). Remaining Contestants: Bubble Bass, Jenny, Kowalski, Po, Private, and Tigress. /

Personal Notes: Initially, my thought was that I was initially going to reveal Johnny Krill's status as the "Starscream" for Tigress sooner, in order to make it make more sense, that Johnny Krill was going to take over the duties of being the active antagonist AWAY from Tigress, as soon as she was eliminated! But after writing Johnny Krill the way I was writing him, it didn't feel right for me to have him both BETRAY Tigress and Kowalski, AND have him win the challenge in addition, which is why I decided to let Snaptrap take care of Johnny first, and showing Johnny the hard fact, that if you WANT to be evil, you better be PREPARED to suffer all the consequences of being evil, to! Because if you're NOT prepared for the consequences, you are GOING to be hurt by them! Tigress realized her mistake just in time, and has become a better contestant for it! Johnny Krill didn't, and not only has he LOST his shot at winning the title, he has lost the friendship of Bubble Bass, and $2.4 million in jewels. Kind of ironic, how the first contestant who wanted TIGRESS eliminated, ended up GETTING eliminated by Tigress herself! A fitting end, for such an unfit contestant! / That's my episode idea for today! Enough said, true believers!

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After a relatively intense episode, it's time for a much more fun one. I hope you enjoy reading this, as much as I did writing this! / Sniz is in front of a makeshift race track, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, the two teams were no more! The seven remaining contestants, promptly found themselves facing a spy challenge in Petropolois, where the contestants were all aiming to be the first, to steal the blueprints to the Death Ray...thingy, that Snaptrap had in his possession. Johnny Krill decided that he had ALL he could stand from being belittled by Tigress, and over-reacted in the most SHOCKING way possible! First, he threatened to tear UP the blueprints! When that opportunity was denied to him, he instead decided to threaten the safety of Kowalski! Bad idea, Johnny Krill! As it turns out, while Snaptrap hates getting beaten up by Jenny Wakeman, he hates pretentious jerks like Johnny Krill anymore, and the other contestants felt absolutely no guilt, about letting Snaptrap do whatever he wanted with Johnny Krill. In the end, Bubble Bass won immunity, and Tigress secured her own immunity, with a now, permanently NON-cursed, Pendant of Life. So it was to no one's surprise, and to no one else's sadness, that Johnny Krill got eliminated out of the game! That was quite an intense episode! Fortunately, this one will be a lot more calmer. Because if this race track is any indication, the remaining contestants are going to be going fast, and they are going to look COOL! So get your motors running! It's time for another episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! I feel the need, the need for speed!" / Instead of the normal show open, it shows Bubble Bass having ANOTHER dream, where he is apparently singing "Get Out Of My Dreams, Get Into My Car", to Blonda, in a shot for shot remake of Billy Ocean's music video for that song, with Sway-Sway acting as the duck who can play saxophone! /

Bubble Bass sings: "Hey (hey) you (you), get into my car!" Blonda says: "Who; me?" Bubble Bass sings: "Yes you, get into my car! Woooooooooooooah. Wah! Yeah! Who's that lady, coming down the road? Who's that lady? Who's that woman walking through my door? What's the score? I'll be the sun shining on you. Hey, Cinderella, step in your shoe. I'll be your non-stop lover, get it while you can. Your non-stop miracle, I'm your man! Get outta my dreams, get into my car." Blonda sings back-up throughout: "(Get into my car)." Bubble Bass sings: "Get outta my dreams, get in the back seat baby; get into my car! (Get into mine, yeah). Get outta my mind, get into my life! Woooooooooh-hoo-hoo! Oh, I said hey, (Hey) you (You); get into my car! Oh, baby! Lady driver, let me take your wheel, smooth operator. Touch my bumper (Bumper). Honey, let's make a deal; make it real. Like a road runner coming after you, just like a hero outta the blue. I'll be your non-stop lover, get it while you can. Your non-stop miracle, I'm your man! Get outta my dreams, get into my car! (Get into my car). Get outta my dreams, get in the back seat baby; get into my car! (Get into mine, yeah). Get outta my mind, get into my life! Woooooooooh-hoo-hoo! Oh I said hey (Hey) you (You); get into my car! Oh baby, baby, I said open the door; (Get in the back). Tread on the floor, (Get on the track). Yeah (Yeah) Yeah (Yeah)! Yeah (Yeah) Yeah (Yeah)! Let's go! (Saxophone solo by Sway-Sway). Oh, baby! Ooooh, woah, yeah! I'll be the sun, shining on you! Hey, Cinderella, step in your shoe. I'll be your non-stop lover, get it while you can. Your non-stop miracle, I'm your man! Get outta my... Get outta my...Get outta my dreams! Get into my car! (Get into my car). Get outta my dreams, get in the back seat, baby! Get into my car! (Get into mine, yeah!) Get outta my mind, get into my life! Woooooooooh-hoo-hoo! Oh, I said hey, (Hey) you (You); get into my, hey (Hey) you (You); get into my, hey (Hey) you (You); get into my car! Oh, I said you! Get in the backseat! Oh, I mean you! Get in the backseat!" / And the epic song ends! / "Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car!" / The show opens up on in the Luxury Suite, on Bubble Bass, who has just woken up from his AWESOME dream! Bubble Bass says: "Well, it seems like my decision to give more jewels to Larry has paid off. No more REALLY weird dreams, just really cool ones! Even though I could TECHNICALLY keep the jewels I was PLANNING to give to Johnny Krill, I can now give them to Larry instead! So, even though I'll be down to $21 million worth in jewels, I'll feel good knowing that Johnny will put the $3 million worth in jewels that I'm giving him, to good use. Still, I feel pretty bad that Johnny did what he did. Even though it's personally not REALLY my business, I feel I should talk to Tigress about the whole situation." Tigress walks in, and asks: "Talk to me about WHAT situation?"

Bubble Bass says: "Well, that whole thing with Johnny Krill. You know, that I completely AGREE with you, that what he did and TRIED to do the other day, was REALLY inexcusable! I just hope you realize that!" Tigress says: "Of course I do! I would be a fool NOT to!" Bubble Bass says: "But you know, I don't think Johnny Krill WOULD have been PUSHED to ACT that NASTY if YOU hadn't pushed him into it!" Tigress snarks back, and defiantly says: "Hey! For the record, I didn't FORCE Johnny to do ANYTHING! The way he acted, he did so on his OWN accord! He CHOSE to betray us, and he CHOSE to try to hurt Kowalski, even when I TRIED to give him the Pendant of Life! And him going back on his word like that, is something that I would NEVER do! I may be a LOT of things, but a traitor is NOT one of them!" Tigress begins to walk away, but she sighs, turns around, and honestly says: "But in all honesty, you are...kind of right." Bubble Bass says: "KIND OF?!" Tigress says: "OKAY! You're a LOT right! It's...not easy for me to ADMIT when I did something wrong, okay?! As a Master, it's not something I'm USED to! It...takes a LOT of effort on my part, to admit I made a mistake. It's something I really need to work on. I feel really BADLY about the way I messed up with Johnny Krill and everything. I mean, part of it MIGHT have been the Pendant of Life, but it WAS amplifying my own emotions, so I can't REALLY put the blame on Anti-Cosmo for that. If I see Johnny again, I guess I'll have to--have to--HAVE to--!" Bubble Bass says: "Have to WHAT?!" Tigress struggles, but STILL mispronounces: "A--poll--luh--gyez!" Bubble Bass says: "Is THAT the BEST that you can pronounce, 'Apologize'?! You sound just the way that I USED to sound, when I was just STARTING to be good guy!"

Tigress seriously says: "The irony is not at all LOST on me! As you can guess, a--a---!" Bubble Bass says: "Apologizing?" Tigress says: "THAT; is NOT my strong suit! There haven't BEEN a lot of instances in my life where I actually felt the NEED to do that, and actually have to MEAN it! But how am I SUPPOSED to do that, when I can barely even get the concept out of my MOUTH?! And STILL mispronounce it while doing so?!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, take it from me. I know from personal experience, that Squidward once went through a very similar problem to YOURS! On one April Fools Day, he once played a prank on Spongebob Squarepants, but he took it WAY too far! Squidward rigged a rope system, which slammed him ACROSS my BUTT, against a window, against the CEILING, and INTO a full, DIRTY trash can! He made Spongebob CRY!!!! Needless to say, that random fish was right; Squidward WAS a jerk, and he DID stink! Needless to say, Squidward realized that despite the fact that HE had fun, what he did was WRONG! It really caused him GREAT pain to even TRY to apologize, and he tried his HARDEST to get out of actually doing it! But eventually, his conscience and his guilt got the better of him, and Squidward FINALLY apologized to Spongebob, only for Spongebob to reveal that it was an elaborate April Fools prank on HIM, to teach Squidward a LESSON, about how it's not NICE to play harmful pranks on others, and then try to NOT apologize for it!" Tigress says: "Did Spongebob REALLY come up with that idea ALL on his own?!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, actually, I DID help him come up with it. I felt kind of bad myself for pulling that pickle prank against Spongebob. I was just trying to get a free meal as a harmless prank. I didn't intend for him to become SO demoralized that he would lose the confidence to do ANYTHING right! Me helping him, was my way of apologizing to him, after he got his confidence back." Tigress says: "And the fact that Mr. Krabs wouldn't LET you come back into that restaurant until you had done so!" Bubble Bass says: "That's BESIDES the point! Besides, that was back when I WAS still kind of a jerk! Nobody's PERFECT, you know!" Tigress says: "Except for Orlando Bloom." Bubble Bass says: "Well, you're probably RIGHT! I mean, you usually are. In any case, I really think you should take me up on apologizing to Johnny Krill for what happened. And the sooner you do it, the better you'll feel. Not to mention, it will get you good karma. You could certainly use some at THIS stage in the game!" Tigress says: "You know what? You're RIGHT! I should, can, could, and WILL apologize to Johnny Krill! But since I can't do it in person, I'll do the next best thing and use the Confessional, so that at LEAST I'll get it out in the open, until I see him personally at the end of the season! Thank you, Bubble Bass!" Bubble Bass says: "It's not often I hear someone honestly thanking ME, you're welcome, Tigress!"

Tigress says: "With any luck, you can get USED to it! And by the way, I think Blonda made a VERY good decision! She's very lucky, to have a guy as honest as YOU are, in addition to your...other attributes that I can GUESS at, but won't say, out of respect for you." Bubble Bass confused, says: "Thank you, I GUESS!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Okay, I hope Johnny Krill is out there listening somewhere, so if he can see and hear me, I just want to honestly say...I'm...s--s--sor--r--ee, about the way I treated you during the competition. It wasn't right of me, and I should've treated you with more respect and courtesy, than you wouldn't have gone so CRAZY in trying to get me eliminated the way you did!" A TV monitor inexplicably drops down, and Johnny Krill APPEARS on it, and he says: "HA!!!! I told you Tigress would eventually SAY she was sorry for the way she treated me! Fondue SO owes me twenty bucks!" Tigress says: "WHAT?!!!" Sniz appears on ANOTHER TV monitor, and he says: "Oh, Johnny Krill had a little side-bet going on with Fondue, and he wanted to pre-record that JUST in case he turned out RIGHT, that you would apologize to him, for the way he treated you, and NOW, Fondue SO owes Johnny Krill twenty bucks!" Tigress sarcastically says: "Oh, SURE!!!! NOW you tell me!" / Bubble Bass says: "I honestly feel like life is getting better for me, and not for RANDOM reasons, either! I've really had to work to get to this point in my life, and I feel like I've done pretty good for myself. I mean, I've already outlasted HALF of the contestants who applied for this challenge! I certainly didn't anticipate THAT! I mean, as long as I've gotten THIS far, I might as well try GOING all the way, and getting a title! Because even if I don't, I certainly won't be in any WORSE shape than I was when I STARTED this season! I'll probably even be in a little BETTER shape, because I'll have Blonda if nothing else, and Spongebob and Patrick will want to be friends with me more often. I mean, I could certainly USE some pals who want to play "Super Smash Bros. Ultimate" with me, even though I'll probably win, due to having more experience than them. At least I won't be a sore loser or a poor winner, like I might have been in the past. I've changed for the better. I mean, I got a compliment from TIGRESS, of ALL characters! Do you know how HARD it is, to get TIGRESS to compliment YOU?! I don't know the odds off hand, but they're on the equivalent of those 'Star Wars' odds that usually pop up, WHICH I can mention by name, since I'm NOT planning on making any money off of it. In any case, I'm going to play to the best of my ability, and keep putting my best fin forward! I think that's the best way for me to play this game!" (End Confessional) In another hotel room, Private, Kowalski, and Jenny are in the same room together! Jenny says: "Guys, I hope you know, there's a reason why I called you into this room!"

Kowalski says: "Well, obviously, it's because you're worried about the whole Po and Tigress relationship, and you want to ELIMINATE one of them, in order to make the other one vulnerable!" Jenny says: "No! I mean, 'Yes!' How did you figure THAT out so quickly?!" Private says: "He's a penguin commando, Jenny! He's been doing this since BEFORE I was hatched!" Jenny says: "Fair enough. In any case, having Po and Tigress in challenges TOGETHER, is a VERY dangerous combination! After all, on their own, they are ALREADY formidable opponents! But if they got together, can you IMAGINE how tough it would be to STOP them?!" Kowalski grabs out his abacus, and he says: "By my calculations, I estimate the odds of stopping them would be 51,678,943,000 to one." Private says: "NEVER tell me the odds!" Jenny says: "But those odds ARE statistically correct, though. That's why we need to band together to STOP those two! If we get rid of one, the other will SOON follow! Are you WITH me?!" Private says: "That depends. Does being, 'With you', imply that we're in an alliance?" Kowalski says: "Exactly! And we all know HOW WELL Johnny Krill and Tigress functioned in an alliance; which is to say, not at ALL!!!!" Jenny says: "Hey! I'm only suggesting a TEMPORARY alliance! Think of it as an 'Enemy mine!' All THREE of us, need Po and Tigress gone, if we want to stand a CHANCE of getting to the Final Three! Once THEY'RE gone, you can go ahead and try to target me! But for now, I'm saying we put our differences aside, in order to focus on the LARGER challenge at hand!" Private asks: "Kowalski, what do you think?" Kowalski says: "Statistically speaking, Po and Tigress ARE the bigger challenge to us! And it would be more beneficial for us to try to eliminate them sooner, rather to wait until later. After all, with the three of us, we WOULD outnumber them, so it would be logical for us to try to eliminate them at our first given opportunity!" Private says: "But what if one of them finds the Pendant of Life, or wins immunity?! That could put a damper on our plans!" Kowalski says: "Well, Plan 'A', is, we don't LET them win immunity, OR find the Pendant of Life! If we can't find the Pendant of Life, we'll assume that one of THEM has it, and split the votes between them JUST to make sure! We can even get Bubble Bass in on the act!" Private says: "But Bubble Bass would NEVER betray Tigress! He's STILL in an alliance with her!" Kowalski says: "That's why we're going to tell him to vote off for PO! Bubble Bass has loyalty to TIGRESS, not to Po! If Bubble Bass votes off Po, he can STILL keep his loyalty to Tigress, and help us at the same time!" Private thinks about it, and he says: "I don't know. This plan reeks of plain old WRONGNESS to me!" Kowalski says: "Well, what OTHER choice do we have?! We can't very well AFFORD to keep them around any longer, we NEED this plan to work BADLY!"

Private sighs, and says: "Okay, let's do it. But either you or Jenny be the one to break it to Bubble Bass! I want as little to DO with this plan as possible! Nothing personal, you understand!" Jenny says: "I'll do it! Since I'm made of Titanium, Bubble Bass can't hurt me, EVEN if he WANTED to! Sound good?" Kowalski says: "Very well, then. We'll let you take care of the arrangements, then." Jenny says: "Can, and WILL do!" (Confessional) Kowalski says: "Having narrowly survived the LAST challenge, it's become clear to me that if we DON'T make a gutsy move NOW, we won't LAST much longer! I know this move is risky! But after all, what IS a challenge without a little RISK involved?! Well...I guess it would STILL technically be a challenge, but it feels like something would be missing. Something, RISKY!" / Private says: "I'm personally AGAINST backstabbing! I want as little to do with it as POSSIBLE! After all, when you try to backstab someone, even if it doesn't IMMEDIATELY backfire on you, like it did with Johnny, it will almost CERTAINLY lead to tears and ruination in the LONG run! Sigh, maybe if I win, I'll offer some of my winnings to the other eliminated contestants. It will be my form of consolation to them, and help me feel better about the actions I take. I mean, I'll certainly feel better about myself if nothing else!" / Jenny says: "I HAD to make an alliance with the penguins, okay?! If I tried to make an alliance with Po and Tigress, I would ALWAYS only be THIRD place at BEST, even if I actually TRIED to force their hands by trying to win a challenge! And Bubble Bass has proven to be more skilled than ANYONE initially gave him credit for; but the fact remains, that Po and Tigress need to go FIRST! While the order HARDLY matters, my vote is personally for Tigress! I mean, YES, she's back to being good now, but she would STILL kick our butts if given the opportunity, which is why we can't LET her get that opportunity! Besides, getting rid of Tigress NOW, will make it EASIER to take out Po later! Metaphorically speaking, of course!" (End Confessional) The sound of race car engines, roars over the loudspeakers, and Sniz announces: "Rev up those engines, and get your motors running! It's time to compete in the next challenge! Meet me at the make-shift race-track out behind the camp! More details will be...detailed, once you get there!" Po pumps his fist, and says: "Sweet! It's a RACING challenge! I feel SO totally pumped up for this!" (Confessional) Po says: "Thanks to some coaching from Tigress, I've learned how to drive, and I can drive pretty well! All the same, I know the other contestants aren't going to make it EASY for me OR Tigress to try to win this challenge! But I know Tigress is up to it! And even if we DON'T win, I'm sure ONE of us can find the Pendant of Life! I mean, Tigress IS good at doing that, if nothing else!" (End Confessional)

The contestants make their way to the race-track, where they meet Marlene, who is dressed in a racer's uniform! Marlene says: "Welcome contestants, to your NEXT exciting challenge! We're going to the exciting world of the race-track!" Kowalski says: "Awesome!" Marlene pulls out a detailed map of the race-track, and she says: "Here is the entire race-course which you will have to race. And this isn't JUST about making LEFT turns, you will be making RIGHT turns, and CROSS turns, and LONG turns, and BACK turns!" Private asks: "And Square turns?" Marlene says: "And SQUARE turns and FRONT turns, and pretty much, any other turns that you can think of! Avoiding all the hazards across this race-track, will help you immensely, to keep you from losing speed, and complete three laps around the track!" Tigress says: "There's going to be a catch, isn't there?" Sniz says: "You know us SO well, Tigress! The twist is, we're spicing up this race-track challenge, by making it, a 'Mario Kart' race-themed track challenge!" Private says: "But this show has already DONE a 'Mario Kart' race-themed track challenge, way back in season One!" Sniz rolls his eyes, and says: "Fine! So we've DONE this challenge already! We DON'T have unlimited PLOT ideas, you know! At LEAST we had the decency to WAIT until there were NO contestants from season one on a season, BEFORE doing it again! And since NONE of you have done this before, you have no way of KNOWING how the others are going to drive, or what kinds of techniques they might use, so, it will STILL be a pretty fresh challenge!" Anti-Cosmo appears, and he says: "And even though the Pendant of Life is no longer cursed, THANKS TO TIGRESS; hidden somewhere along the race-course, is the Pendant of Life, so, if you find it, and don't win, you'll still have another chance to compete in the game. But, it WILL be your last chance, because this is the LAST challenge in which the Pendant of Life will be usable! After this challenge, immunity will be your ONLY option for staying safe in the game!" Tigress says: "So we'll be getting SERIOUS! I like THOSE odds!" Anti-Cosmo says: "And to make things even MORE interesting, for me, each lap will take place on a differently THEMED track from across the 'Mario Kart' series, and you WILL be using items from 'Mario Kart' against each other. And NO, Jenny, you CANNOT use ANY of your own tools during this challenge!" Jenny groans, and says: "FINE!!!!" Marlene says: "So, whoever gets first place at the end of three laps, will win immunity! It's that simple!" Po asks: "But where our are karts?" Sniz says: "You'll have to build them first! Wouldn't be as challenging, otherwise! You'll find all the tools you need to build a kart, inside Fondue's tool shack. You can build your car out of any material you can find on this island, just make sure that it's functional, and can run on whatever power source you can find!"

Bubble Bass says: "So, function and fuel are needed for our karts, I can get behind that!" Sniz says: "You have one hour to build your karts, so, I suggest you get cracking!" Private says: "We're on it, Sniz!" General Barracuda says: "Let's hope so, for your own sake! I've never SEEN this challenge before PERSONALLY, but it will be interesting to watch, for ME! Especially since I'm not DRIVING!" Sniz says: "Oh, it will be interesting all right! We have to take a break, but when we come back, we'll see EXACTLY what our contestants build, and then, see how well they do in a race! So be sure to come right back, for more Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! It's a RACE, people!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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It's time to get this show right back on TRACK! (See what I did there? I just made a racing pun!) But all seriousness aside, here is the second and final part of the latest "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back" episode, "Get Out Of My Dreams, Get Into My Car!" / After the commercials end, the show opens up back on Sniz, who is standing in front of the race track. Sniz says: "Welcome back to what is shaping up to be an EXHILARATING episode! Our contestants have been hard at work, making their karts be the best that they can be! Let us show you the fruits of their labors, in this rocking montage!" / To the tune of Gary Numan's hit song, "Cars", the contestants are shown putting together, and painting their karts. Some of the contestants, like Kowalski, Jenny, and Private, have a relatively easy time building their karts. Other contestants, like Bubble Bass, Po, and Tigress, have a much harder time; but for the latter two, it's more due to the fact that they don't know their own strength, and they keep ACCIDENTALLY breaking the designs of the karts that they keep TRYING to build! / Gary Numan sings: "Here in my car, I feel safest of all. I can lock all my doors, it's the only way to live, in cars. Here in my car, I can only receive. I can listen to you, it keeps me stable for days, in cars. (Instrumental solo) Here in my car, where the image breaks down, will you visit me, please? If I open my door, in cars. Here in my car, I know I've started to think about leaving tonight. Although, nothing seems right, in cars." (Instrumental Solo continues throughout as the contestants keep building, and eventually perfecting their karts, and the epic song ends!) / Sniz says: "The montage is over, and now, it's time to see, what our contestants have come up with! Since we want to keep this interesting, we're going to try to keep our order random, so let's start with Bubble Bass! Bubble Bass, what kind of kart, did you come up with?" The camera reveals Bubble Bass' kart, to be purple in color, has been built to carry heavy loads (such as Bubble Bass himself), and is even equipped with working headlights! Bubble Bass says: "I didn't want to rush it, but I also wanted something practical, so I built something that I would be sure that could carry me to victory, while STILL being efficient on gas mileage! I think the results speak for themselves, don't you think?" Sniz looks it over, and says: "Hmm, well the results ARE speaking for themselves. I'm not exactly sure WHAT they're saying; but then, I'm in no position to criticize. I've NEVER had to build a kart myself! Overall, I'd give it a 5 out of 10! Next up, Kowalski!"

The camera reveals Kowalski's kart, to be red, yellow, and orange in color, as if the entire kart was on FIRE, and is even DESIGNED to look like a hot rod! Kowalski says: "I have the absolutely LAST word in speed and agility! It's actually TEN years ahead of its time! Plus, the fuel supply is SO simple and efficient! Just feed it a bunch of spicy baked Boston beans, and VROOM!!!! You've got a recipe for success, and a car that WON'T need ANY refueling for the next THREE years!" Sniz says: "Speedy AND efficient! I'd give it an 8 out of 10! Next up, Jenny!" The camera reveals Jenny's kart, which is a blue, silver chrome painted sleek designed, futuristic looking cart, stream-lined as if it CAME from the future, and evoking a general COOLNESS about it! Jenny says: "While I may not be able to use any of my own tools, I WAS able to use the tools that I COULD use, to take a design that my MOM had kicking around for a few years, and make my own modifications to it! This kart is built for efficiency, mobility, sharp turning, and can comfortably seat a family of four! I call my kart, the Jenny Mobile!" Sniz perplexedly says: "The JENNY Mobile?!" Jenny says: "Sure! Doesn't it LOOK like a Jenny Mobile to you?" Sniz says: "Well, you...got me THERE! It certainly DOES look like a Jenny Mobile. I guess I'd give it a 7 out of 10. Next up, Tigress!" Tigress' kart is revealed to look pretty much like a NORMAL car, except painted to look LIKE a tiger itself! Sniz asks: "This is YOUR idea of a creative Kart?!" Tigress says: "Hey! It was either THIS, or NOTHING! It's not MY fault they don't make kart materials like they USED to! I didn't have time to give it many modifications, but I think you can safely agree, that there is simply no other kart in the WORLD that is like this!" Sniz says: "Well, you're technically right about THAT part! But for a hastily-crafted hack job, I'd give it a D Minus at BEST! But in lieu of a grade, I'll give it a 4 out of 10. Next up, Po!" Po's kart is revealed to ALSO look pretty much like a normal car, only painted to look like a panda itself! Sniz says: "I'm guessing not so great minds think alike." Po says: "Hey, it may not look like much on the outside; but on the inside, is where it counts! Plus, if the engine ever breaks down, I've got a back-up means of mobility! I just push a button, and out comes a sail which can catch wind, and propel myself with WIND power!" Sniz says: "Po, if wind power cars were MEANT to catch on, they would've DONE so by now! LAME, 3 out of 10 points. Next up, Private!" Private's kart, looks very MUCH like Princess Peach's kart from the "Mario Kart" series! Sniz excitedly says: "Now THIS is the kind of kart that I can go for!" Tigress says: "Wait a minute! He just LITERALLY copied that design from a 'Mario Kart' game!" Sniz says: "Not so fast! Tell me more about it!" Private says: "Well, it's pink, to show that I'm comfortable with my feminine side. It has a pretty parasol, to protect me from the sun, it has working headlights, and it also runs on mushroom power!" Sniz says: "Well, I think it's safe to say who got the best score here, Private gets a 10 out of 10!"

Tigress says: "WHAT?! You can't do THAT!" Sniz says: "Oh, I'm sorry. Is this YOUR show? Oh no, it's not! It's MY show! And as such, I can rank the karts however I see fit! Therefore, the starting positions will be as follows. Private will be in the first position, Kowalski will be in the second position, Jenny will be in the third position, Bubble Bass will be in the fourth position, Tigress will be in the fifth position, and Po will be in the sixth position! So, it's time to get this race started! Racers, get into your karts, get buckled up, and let's get down to business!" / The racers are all in their karts, in protective racing gear, all buckled up, and in their respective positions! Marlene climbs up to the referee's stand, where she gets ready to wave the checkered flag, to start and end the race! Marlene shouts: "Remember contestants, this is a three lap total affair. If for some reason, your kart breaks down and is unable to continue racing, we will mark the position where you crashed, as your final ranking. There will be random 'Mario Kart' items strewn about, in boxes which will give you a randomized item, including exactly ONE Pendant of Life! Each lap will have you randomly warp to a random 'Mario Kart' course of Anti-Cosmo's choosing! I wish you the best of luck, and may the best racer win!" Tigress says: "You can COUNT on it!" The racing lights begin the count-down, (BEEP!) and Marlene shouts: "On your marks! (BEEP!) Get Set! (BEEP!) GO!!!!" The racers immediately begin racing, only to be immediately be thrust into the "Donut Plains 2" stage from "Super Mario Kart"! Bubble Bass says: "Not THIS stage, I HATE this stage! There are Monty Moles EVERYWHERE!" And sure enough, Monty Moles begin popping out of the ground, and tackling themselves onto Jenny's, Po's, and Tigress' karts, with Private, and Kowalski avoiding them due to their superior steering, and Bubble Bass because he is going so slow. Tigress says: "UGH! Ground Rat! Get it off! Get it OFF!!!! Get it off, get it off, get it--!!" (CRASH!!!!) And Tigress unexpectedly RAMS into a wall, totaling her kart! Marlene shouts: "Ooh, I don't care HOW tough Tigress is, that's GOT to hurt her PRIDE!!!!" Tigress moans, and says: "What a REVOLTING development THIS is!" The other racers make it through the rest of the lap without further incident, and finish the lap with Private leading, Kowalski second, Jenny third, Bubble Bass fourth, and Po fifth! Sniz says: "First lap is over, and Tigress ranks out at sixth! Now it's time for the second lap!" The second lap begins, and it shifts into the "Koopa Beach" stage from "Mario Kart 64"! Private says: "Cool! We're at the beach!" Kowalski says: "Just be sure to not DRIVE into the water! That's an automatic rank-out condition!" Bubble Bass says: "This sand is SO not conducive to the productivity of my tires!" Po breaks out his sail, and he says: "Too bad you don't have WIND power to help you!"

Sniz says: "Hey! Can he do that, legally?!" Fondue breaks out the rule-book, and he says: "No rules about modifying a kart to rely on wind power. Advantage, Po!" Bubble Bass suddenly picks up a triple mushroom item, and he says: "This could be my lucky break!" And Bubble Bass spots a ramp that leads into a cave! Bubble Bass says: "Got to time this JUST right!" And Bubble Bass uses one of his mushrooms, and SAFELY manages to land inside the cave, leading to a shortcut to the other side of the island! Jenny says: "WOAH! He's WAY ahead!" Kowalski says: "Good thing he can't catch the GUARANTEED Spiny Shell item over the rock. I'll just jump off of the LONG ramp, and get it!" Private says: "Kowalski, don't TRY it! I don't think it will--!" But Kowalski jumps off, but in a harsh case of "Reality Ensues" the kart gets totally WRECKED by jumping onto the sharp rock, and it falls DOWN to the ground and crashes to the ground, and the airbags immediately go off in Kowalski's kart. Kowalski, muffled, says: "Oh, good, the airbags DO work!" Jenny says: "I'm not that familiar with pain, but I'll bet he will feel THAT in the morning!" Private says: "I think he's feeling it NOW, OUCH!" But Po picks up an item box, and to his AMAZING luck, he gets the Pendant of Life! Po says: "Salvation! This could help save Tigress' skin! I just got to win the rest of the race!" The remaining racers, complete the rest of Koopa Beach without incident, and finish the second lap, with Bubble Bass in first place, Private in second place, Jenny in third place, and Po in fourth place. Sniz says: "Second lap is over, and Kowalski ranks out at fifth! Now, it's time for the third and FINAL lap!" The third lap begins, and it shifts into "Rainbow Road", from "Mario Kart 64"! Private says: "Not THIS stage! This is one of the LONGEST stages in racing games!" Jenny says: "At least we only have to do one LAP of it!" Bubble Bass says: "Sorry to spoil your chances of WINNING!" And right before the LONG descent, Bubble Bass heads to the left at a certain spot, hops OVER the guardrail fence, and everyone watches, waiting for Bubble Bass to be declared out of bounds, but, he isn't, and he SAFELY lands on the track on the other end, cutting out a GOOD 25% of the track! Po says: "WOAH!!!! He's WAY ahead! Can he DO that, legally?" Jenny says: "In the N64 version of the game, which this stage is based on, he can. It isn't EASY, but he can." Private asks: "So how can we catch up?" Jenny says: "Go ahead of me! I have a plan!" So Private and Po go on ahead. Jenny picks up an item box, and SHE gets a LIGHTNING bolt! Jenny says: "Just as I anticipated!" Private says: "Jenny, WAIT!!!! You're COMPLETELY made of METAL!!!! If you throw down that lightning bolt, it will--!"

But Jenny doesn't wait to hear the rest of Private's statement, because she throws DOWN the lightning bolt! Yes, it DOES shrink down Bubble Bass, Po, and Private, even blasting OFF the former two's clothes for EXTRA humiliation, but the lightning bolt ALSO strikes Jenny, causing her completely metal kart to short-circuit, throwing her OUT of the kart, and any chance of getting back to it, is rendered moot, as the wandering chain chomp comes along and EATS the kart up, forcing Jenny OUT of the running! In a high squeaky voice, Private says: "I tried to warn you!" Jenny groans, and she says: "NOW he tells me!" Bubble Bass groans at his predicament, and says: "Not AGAIN!!!! This is like, the EIGHTH time this season this has happened to me!" Po shouts: "It's okay, you're USED to it, by now!" And Private picks up an item box, and gets a GOLDEN mushroom! Private says: "I've got a Golden Mushroom, there still might BE a chance!" So Private INSTANTLY uses the Golden Mushroom, and pushes it as many times as he can, trying to cover the vast distance between himself and Bubble Bass, but it's an exercise in futility, as Bubble Bass finishes the lap in 1 minute, 30 seconds, while Private is BARELY able to finish it in just under 2 minutes, and Po lumbers across in 2 minutes, 30 seconds! Marlene waves the checkered flag, and she says: "And it's over! It's all over! Somehow, against ALL expectations, Bubble Bass has managed to win his SECOND, solo immunity challenge in a row! WHAT are the odds?!" Kowalski says: "Honestly, even I'M stumped at trying to figure out THOSE odds, and I'm Kowalski!" Bubble Bass says: "That's great! REALLY great! Can I have my dignity back, now?" Jenny grabs both Bubble Bass', and Po's clothes, and hands them back to them. Jenny says: "Sorry about that! I guess I don't know my OWN strength sometimes!" Sniz says: "So the challenge is ALL over! Bubble Bass has won immunity, and therefore, cannot be voted off tonight at the Elimination Ceremony! Everyone else is fair game, unless they have a Pendant of Life!" Po runs up to Tigress, and whispers to her: "Tigress, don't worry about a thing, I got the Pendant of Life!" Tigress says: "Really?!" Po says: "Not so loud!" Tigress says: "Right, our detractors. So, what are we going to do?" Po says: "They're obviously going to split the votes just to make sure, and we only have one Pendant of Life. No matter WHO it gets played on, one of us might get voted off!" Tigress says: "Well, if they split the votes, that would leave with only TWO votes for each of us! If we BOTH vote for someone else, than the result would be a TIED vote! We can FORCE a tie-breaker challenge!" Po says: "But what if the tie-breaker challenge CAUSES one of us to lose?!"

Tigress says: "Well, we have no way of KNOWING for sure! At least this way, we can FIGHT for our chance to stay in the game! I'll take the risk! We'll BOTH try to vote off Kowalski! You play the Pendant of Life on yourself! That way, no matter WHAT happens, you'll be safe! I don't WANT to continue the game without you! No matter what has happened, you've ALWAYS been my number one priority to me!" Po says: "Thanks, Tigress, that means a lot to me!" Tigress says: "I know! So, we have our plan of action! Let's just hope it works!" (Confessional) Po says: "Tigress has ALWAYS been confident about her chances, but this could be her BIGGEST gamble yet! However, I never thought she'd gamble with her OWN game! It's so touching to know, that she thinks THAT highly of me, that she's willing to risk her OWN game, just to save mine! I just hope she can see this gamble through!" / Tigress says: "Saving Po is my ONLY real option at this point in the game, and targeting Kowalski is purely a strategic move. One of us will be leaving the game. And if it happens to be me, than at least, I'm leaving on my OWN terms this time. If I lose to Kowalski, I'll have no regrets. I'll be disappointed, but I'll have no regrets." (End Confessional) Jenny walks up to Bubble Bass, and she says: "Bubble Bass, I want to ask you for your help." Bubble Bass says: "After blasting MY clothes off?! You have a LOT of nerve!" Jenny says: "Please?! It will help your game in the LONG run!" Bubble Bass says: "I'm listening!" Jenny says: "We're going to vote off Po! Po would NEVER play the Pendant of Life on himself, he'd ALWAYS try to save Tigress FIRST! So if we vote off Po, we'd be taking one of the BIGGEST threats to the Final Three, out of the Game!" Bubble Bass says: "I don't like that. That's kind of bad, to be playing against Tigress like that." Jenny asks: "What OTHER choice do you have?! Tigress is playing for the same thing, to! She wants to win as much, if not MORE than Po does! She wouldn't expect anything LESS than us! Tigress is concerned about her OWN game! She wouldn't CARE if Po was taken out! A little disappointed, but she wouldn't care!" Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "Alright, I'll do it! But you're going to owe me a birthday present, for going along with this!" Jenny says: "I'll give you 'Super Mario Oddyssey' for the Nintendo Switch." Bubble Bass says: "A game I don't have yet. All right, it's a deal!" (Confessional) Jenny says: "All right! I got Bubble Bass on board! It wasn't easy, but I got him on board! The penguins will try to vote Tigress off, and on the off chance that Po DOES use the Pendant of Life on himself, at least we'll STILL get Tigress out of the game, and Bubble Bass TECHNICALLY won't be responsible for it! He can't be voted off, anyways! Overall, I'd call it a 'Win-Win' situation!" /

Bubble Bass says: "I would NEVER want to betray Tigress directly! Even THIS move is a bit MUCH for me! But, my chances of moving forward in the game, are only going to get TOUGHER from here! And if I don't take out Po now, I might not GET another chance to do so later! Hopefully, I can make it up to Tigress later! I'm not sure HOW, yet, but I can make it up to her!" (End Confessional) It is now night time, and the contestants are all at the campfire. Sniz says: "Contestants, welcome to another Elimination Ceremony. We have six contestants, but only FIVE of you will get to move forward past this point! The time has come to cast your votes. Bubble Bass has immunity, so you cannot vote for him. Everyone else is fair game, provided they DON'T use the Pendant of Life on THEMSELVES, or anyone ELSE!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass sighs, and places an 'X' over Po's playing card. / Jenny places an 'X' over Po's playing card, and she says: "Well, one way or another, the balance of power is BOUND to shift tonight!" / Po places an 'X' over Kowalski's playing card, and he says: "It's all up to Kowalski and Tigress now!" / Tigress places an 'X' over Kowalski's card, and she says: "I hope you brought your A game tonight, because YOU are going to NEED it!" / Private places an 'X' over Tigress' card, and he says: "If I didn't think that we honestly HAD a chance to eliminate her, I wouldn't even TRY to do this!" / Kowalski places an 'X' over Tigress' card, and he says: "The votes have been cast; now the moment of truth is at hand!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "The votes have been cast! When I call your name, you will receive a marshmallow. The contestant that does NOT receive a safe marshmallow, must immediately pack their bags, head for the Slingshot of Shame, and be eliminated! That means you will never come BACK as a contestant during this round of play, EVER! So with that being said, it's time--." Po says: "HOLD it! I have in my hands, the Pendant of Life, and I'm going to...no, they WOULDN'T try to vote off Tigress after having failed so MANY times already, I'm playing it on myself!" And Jenny gasps in absolute STUNNED, bewilderment! Sniz says: "The Pendant of Life is genuine, that means all votes cast for Po will not count! First, the safe contestants! Marshmallows for Bubble Bass, Private, and Jenny! All the other contestants, have votes! One vote for Po, cast by Bubble Bass, doesn't count. One vote cast for Po, by Jenny, doesn't count." Bubble Bass says: "I thought you said WE were voting off Po!" Jenny says: "That's EXACT words! WE, the two of US, were voting off Po! I made no other promises!" Bubble Bass says: "That's a fair cop." Sniz says: "One vote cast for Kowalski, by Po, counts! One vote cast for Kowalski, by Tigress, counts! One vote cast for Tigress, by Kowalski, counts! And one vote cast for Tigress, by Private, counts! It's a DEADLOCK between Tigress and Kowalski! That means Po gets a safe marshmallow!"

Kowalski says: "So, this is how it goes down, Tigress?" Tigress says: "Yes, this IS how it goes down! I don't expect for you to hold back!" Sniz says: "So, I must ask this mandatory question; is there ANYONE here, who is going to change their votes?" Bubble Bass says: "No way!" Jenny says: "I'm not even considering it!" Sniz says: "Well, in that case, we will go to a tie-breaker challenge. Now, since we are at a campsite, we will have a tie-breaker challenge, based on a fundamental skill, that EVERY camper should know! Now, using only your own skills, and knowledge, and NO special Kung Fu techniques, Tigress, you will have to get a fire started, and be the first to have your fire, burn the rope hanging between two pieces of rock. Whoever is the FIRST to do it, will be safe from elimination, tonight! Marlene?!" Marlene comes into the scene, and she says: "On it! Tigress and Kowalski, for safety from tonight's elimination, may luck be on your side! On your marks, get set, go!" Tigress furiously starts striking two pieces of flint, to get a fire started, while Kowalski quickly strings together, a makeshift, sturdy bow, to create friction between two pieces of small log! Kowalski quickly uses his creation, to quickly rub a fire together, and gets it going, and begins blowing on it, to get the flame to grow higher! Tigress FINALLY gets a spark started, and begins blowing on her fire to, but Kowalski's is ALREADY higher, and soon enough--(SNAP!!!!) Sniz says: "Kowalski has gotten his rope to burn first! Therefore, Kowalski gets the safe marshmallow!" Tigress says: "YIPES!!!!" And Tigress QUICKLY dodges the Anti-Fairy marshmallow, which BUMPS into the SAME Acorn Tree that PREVIOUSLY produced the gigantic acorn that caused Brittany to grow, only now, the Acorn Tree turns INVISIBLE, and Fondue accidentally BUMPS into it, and his CLOTHES turn invisible, rendering him NAKED!!!! Fondue says: "AHHH!!!! The Anti-Magic rubbed off AGAIN!!!!" General Barracuda says: "Don't worry about it, that will just wear off, sooner or later!" Fondue says: "Small comfort for me! Somebody put some PAINT on that thing!" Marlene says: "Noted!" Sniz says: "Well, Tigress, you had a good run, but your time as a contestant, has come to an end. The Slingshot of Shame, awaits!" Tigress says: "Well, a well-played strategy. I'm actually impressed. Disappointed by the results, but I'm impressed! I didn't think ANY of you could come up with something so elaborate!" Bubble Bass says: "I just want to state for the record, that I was NOT an active part of that arrangement! Trying to eliminate Po was purely strategic on my end. I meant NOTHING against you; and if I had known that Jenny WAS using me to try to engineer YOUR elimination at the same time, I would've voted WITH you, if I could have!" Tigress says: "I know that. And I don't hold it against you. At least this way, I get to leave on my OWN terms, and not by some vote-off!" /

Tigress is all packed up, and is fitted for safety, on the Slingshot of Shame. Sniz says: "Tigress, any last words before you're hurled into the wild blue yonder?" Tigress says: "A few! Penguins, you better prepare yourselves for a HARD battle against Po! If you thought getting rid of ME was a challenge, Po will only PROVE to be much more difficult from here on out! Fire away, Sniz!" Sniz launches the Slingshot of Shame, and Tigress shouts: "See you at the FINALE!!!!" Po asks: "Is she going to be all right?" Sniz says: "Don't worry about it, cats ALWAYS land on their feet!" And from far away, Tigress yells: "OW!!!! My FEET!!!!" Sniz says: "See what I mean?! And just like that, Tigress, has FINALLY been taken out of the competition! The other contestants may have won the battle, but the war is FAR from over yet! Only five contestants remain, and any one of them, could be the next one to be eliminated! See who will emerge victorious on the next exciting episode, of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Man, this was an AWESOME episode!" / Epilogue: In a stylish music video, Tigress sings her OWN version, of Pebbles' rocking 1988 hit song, "Mercedes Boy;" to nobody else, but Po! / Tigress sings: "Do you wanna ride? Baby, let me tell you, I've been watching you. See you dancing in my dreams, feel your heartbeat inside of me. So if you feel it coming on, catch me getting in the mood. Boy, I'll give you anything, cruising's all you have to do. Do you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy? Ride! Tell me what you're gonna do with me. 'Cause if you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy, there are so many things that I'm gonna do to you. Baby, let me tell you, I've been wanting you. Always on the scene, good looks and more possessing all of me. So when it starts to coming on, catch me getting in the mood! Boy, I'll give you anything. Cruising's all you have to do. Do you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy? Ride! Tell me what you're gonna do with me. 'Cause if you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy, there are so many things that I'm gonna do to you. Do you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy? Ride! Tell me what you're gonna do with me. 'Cause if you wanna ride in my Mercedes, Boy, there are so many things that I'm gonna do to you. (Instrumental Solo) Ride! With me, with me! Ride! Do you wanna ride? Do you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy? Ride! Tell me what you're gonna do with me. 'Cause if you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy, there are so many things that I'm gonna do to you. Do you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy? Ride! Tell me what you're gonna do with me. 'Cause if you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy, there are so many things that I'm gonna do to you!" (Instrumental Solo until the epic song ends!) /

Episode Notes: Tigress becomes the first, and ONLY contestant on "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back", to be eliminated via a tie-breaker challenge, and therefore, the only contestant BESIDES Fee, to NOT be eliminated by votes! With Tigress' elimination, Po is the ONLY representative from "Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness", remaining in the game. Featured songs in this episode include "Get Out Of My Dreams, Get Into My Car" (also the episode title), Gary Numan's "Cars", and Tigress, singing a version of Pebbles' "Mercedes Boy". This marks the second time this show has featured a "Mario Kart" challenge, a fact even LAMPSHADED by Private, himself! Bubble Bass wins solo immunity for the second time in a row this season. Final time the Pendant of Life is used in this game, and the ONLY time that it ISN'T used by Tigress to protect herself, but used by Po, to protect himself! Eliminated Contestants: 14. Bessie Higgenbottom ("The Mighty B!"). 13. Rico ("The Penguins of Madagascar"). 12. Katarra ("Avatar: The Last Airbender"). 11. Theodore Seville ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"). 10. Danny Fenton ("Danny Phantom"). 9. Fee ("Harvey Beaks"). 8. Brittany Miller ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"). 7. Johnny Krill ("Spongebob Squarepants"). 6. Tigress ("Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness"). Remaining Contestants: Bubble Bass, Jenny Wakeman, Kowalski, Po, and Private. / Personal Notes: It's been no secret that Tigress was ALWAYS going to have a more complex role this season than most of her fellow competitors. In fact, Tigress' specific ROLE this season, was to act like the "Disc One Final Boss" for "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back", in that while she was the TOUGHEST competitor that everyone had to face, she would end up NOT being the FINAL competitor that everyone would end up facing! And to show that Tigress was NOT the antagonist that everyone was making her out to be, I thought it would only be fitting, for Tigress to risk her OWN game, in order to save Po's. Tigress may have lost to Kowalski's superior genius. But at least THIS time, Tigress got to leave on her OWN terms! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

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All right, I'm feeling ready for the next installment! So prepare to strap yourselves in, because this upcoming episode is LITERALLY going to be OUT of this WORLD! / Sniz is in the camera monitor room, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, it was kart racing day challenge for the remaining contestants. Specifically, a 'Mario Kart' racing challenge! But before they could race, they had to actually BUILD the karts! Some, like Private and Kowalski, built their karts well. Others, like Tigress and Po; not so much! During the race, Po found a Pendant of Life, and Bubble Bass, using his knowledge of the 'Mario Kart' video games, managed to utilize his skills to his advantage, and secure immunity for himself! Who knew Bubble Bass had such talent?! The contestants decided, to pit three potential victims against each other. Po shocked EVERYBODY, by playing the Pendant of Life on HIMSELF, while Kowalski, shocked EVERYBODY, by managing to beat TIGRESS, in a tie-breaker challenge. So, after a long, hard game, everybody had to say good-bye to Tigress; knowing that the battle had been won, but the war was FAR from over yet! Now, we are on the verge of embarking on one of our MOST ambitious challenges YET! What kind of challenge is it? I'll give you ONE hint, it's going to be COSMIC! Find out how it will ALL go down, on today's episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Get ready for blast-off!" / Instead of the usual show open, the remaining contestants are shown dancing in front of a changing screen, showing a lot of intergalactic photos of galaxies and stars taken by satellites, space probes, and the Hubble Telescope, all to the tune of the rocking B-52's hit song, "Cosmic Thing!" /

Fred Schneider sings: "Gyrate it till you had your fill, just like a pneumatic drill. Don't let it go down the drain, ya better hop on the cosmic wagon train! WOW!!!! Cosmic! Cosmic! I was havin' this out-of-body experience, saw these cosmic beings. Everywhere I went up there, they were shakin' their cosmic things! Like someone gave ya a wild goose, or a freight train with a loose caboose! You better shake your...honey buns! Shake your honey buns! Shake it till the butter melts, shake it till the butter melts. Shake that cosmic thing, shake that thing, shake it, ohhhh yeah! Shake that thing all night long, shake it man, you can't go wrong. Don't let it rest on the President's desk, rock the house! Cosmic! Wooooo! Cosmic! I don't need no earthquake, don't need no tidal wave! Till night falls and day breaks, gonna shake, shake, shake, shake. shake, shake, shake, shake! Shake! Shake! Shake! Cosmic thang! Cosmic! Cosmic! Cosmic thang! Cosmic thang! Cosmic! Shake that thang Shake that thang! Wooo! Yeah! (Instrumental solo) Like someone gave ya a wild goose, or a freight train with a loose caboose, ya better shake your... honey buns! Shake those honey buns! Shake that thing all night long, shake it man, ya can't go wrong! Rock the house! Rock the house! While cruising through the Ionosphere, I saw these alien beings. Everywhere I went up there, they were shakin' their alien things! I'll give you a genuine faux pearl ring if ya git on up and shake your...honey buns! Shake your honey buns! Shake! Shake! Don't let it rest on the President's desk, rock the house! Oh yeah! Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Cosmic! Wooo! Cosmic! Wooo! Cosmic! Cosmic thing! Rock the house! Cosmic! Wooo! Turn it loose! Cosmic! Shake it down! Cosmic! Rock the house! Cosmic! Shake it down! Cosmic! Oh, yeah! Shake that thing! Cosmic!" / And the epic song ends! / "Cosmic Thing!" / The episode opens up on Bubble Bass, having another weird dream in his luxury suite hotel room. And thanks to the magic of Anti-Cosmo, we get to see what it is! Bubble Bass is dreaming that his mother, who looks younger, is holding him as a baby, and is taking him to see a fortune teller; the very SAME one who would end up selling Spongebob Squarepants the Nudibranch! Bonnie goes into see the fortune teller, and she says: "Madame, I have come in to see you." The Fortune Teller says: "Of COURSE you have come to see me! I KNEW that you would be coming into see me!" Bonnie says: "Right, because of your...psychic...things...however THAT works! Listen, I want to KNOW about how my little...Bubble Bass is going to turn out. He's a sweet little thing now, but I want to know what I should do, to make sure he grows up...right!" The Fortune Teller says: "Hmmm! Your little fish is very HARD to figure out indeed, even for someone of MY clairvoyance! I shall have to consult my crystal ball!"

The Fortune Teller channels her energies into the Crystal Ball. The room suddenly DARKENS, and a mini-storm begins BREWING in the room! The Fortune Teller says: "Your Bubble Bass will face some conflict in his life, plagued by insecurities, he will sometimes lash out at fishes who might otherwise be his friends,  in a jerk-face facade, to cover up his own feelings of shame and guilt!" Bonnie asks: "Shame and guilt brought on by WHAT?!" The Fortune Teller says: "That, I cannot see. It is his OWN actions, that determines how he acts, and REACTS, to events around him! But, Bubble Bass WANTS to be a GOOD fish; and he WILL be a good fish! BUT; ONLY when he stops feeling the unnecessary, misplaced burden of shame and guilt on himself, will he FINALLY achieve his FULL potential, and be the fish he WANTS to be!" Bonnie says: "Really?! Tell me how THAT happens!" The Fortune Teller STOPS her psychic energies, and the storm calms down! The Fortune Teller says: "I'm afraid I cannot do that. If I tell you how THAT future is supposed to play out, it might NOT happen! After all, it is often that we face what we TRY to avoid, by trying to TAKE a path that we THINK will avoid it! Bubble Bass will have to discover his own path on his own. But when he does, he will be all the more BETTER for it!" / The dream ends, and Bubble Bass wakes up! Bubble Bass says: "What a STRANGE dream! It felt...too REAL to just be a dream! Was that a subconscious memory? I NEED to call mom to find out!" Bubble Bass picks up his cell phone, and calls his mom. His mom appears on a split screen. Bonnie says: "Bubble Bass, what are you doing calling me so early?!" Bubble Bass says: "Mom, I had a weird dream." Bonnie asks: "Does this dream involve GRAVY again?!" Bubble Bass rolls his eyes, and says: "No, mom, this dream does not involve GRAVY again!" Bonnie says: "All right, why don't you TELL me what it involved?" Bubble Bass says: "Well, I had a weird dream that when I was a baby, you took me to see a fortune teller, in order to tell me about my future. Now, she said that I have feelings of unnecessary, misplaced burdens of shame and guilt on myself, and only when I stop feeling them, will I finally be able to achieve my FULL potential, and be the fish I want to be! Now, what does THAT mean?!" Bonnie sighs, and says: "Well, that dream was TRUE! That DID happen, and I DID take you to see a Fortune Teller, and THAT is what she said! Now, I don't know HOW you could remember this, even SUBCONSCIOUSLY; but then, stranger things have happened. I personally don't know what it means. But...as a baby, you always LOVED taking bubble baths, but for some reason, you never wanted to STAY in the bubble bath, and you would take off, running around NAKED in the bubbles, and that's why Bobby gave you the nickname of Bubble Bass." Bubble Bass says: "It's starting to come BACK to me now!" Bonnie says: "I guess...maybe I tried to shelter you and slightly over-protected you MORE than I should have. But I want you to know, I only did it out of LOVE!"

Bubble Bass says: "I know that. But I don't think that's the only thing that's bothering me. Those jerky things I did to Spongebob and Patrick. If I go back there as a good guy, are they going to accept me, and want me as a friend?" Bonnie says: "Well, I don't KNOW whether or not they will accept you, but if there's one thing that I DO know, is that you can't expect ANYONE to accept you, until you LEARN how to accept yourself! Yes, you've MADE some mistakes, and you've PAID for them! But last time I checked, nobody is perfect! If you really want to, you should EMBRACE who you are, even your mistakes, and USE them to remember where you've came from! Just look at your progress this season! You went all the way from being 'Brilliant, but lazy', to actively winning challenges all on your own! Your the last member of your alliance left STANDING! You've really WORKED hard to get to where you are; harder than ANY other contestant has worked to overcome your previous short-comings!" Bubble Bass says: "I know I've come so far; I just...feel so unsure about myself." Bonnie says: "Than stop DOUBTING yourself, and live up to who you WANT to be! You CAN become the fish you want to be! You're the ONLY one who can! And no matter what you decide to do, you should ALWAYS know, that I will LOVE you, no matter WHAT you decide!" Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "Mom, you're RIGHT! I DO need to become the fish I want to be! It won't be easy, but I'm going to DO it! And when I do, I'll be a fish that EVERYONE can be proud of; even Spongebob and Patrick!" Bonnie says: "That's the GOOD fish I raised! I KNOW you will DO what's right!" Bubble Bass says: "I'll do what I can, and make it work the best I can! You can count on me!" Bonnie says: "All right, then! Take care, I love you; good-bye!" Bubble Bass says: "I love you, good-bye!" And he hangs up! / (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "It's become clear to me, why I'm still having strange dreams. I've been concealing my TRUE identity of who I want to be, from everybody else! It's not enough to just WANT to be a good guy in this competition, I need to be a GOOD guy in REAL life! And unless I do something to change the image that I USED to cultivate for myself, the one everyone USED to remember me by, that's not going to happen. Not the way it should. It won't be easy, but once this game show is over, I need to SHED my old status! I'm going to DISCARD the clothes that have defined my image as the OLD Bubble Bass, before I can define my image as the NEW Bubble Bass!" (End Confessional) Bubble Bass goes to Po's room, and knocks on his door! Po opens up the door, but he's COMPLETELY naked! Po says: "What do you want?" Bubble Bass asks: "Po, why are you naked?" Po asks: "What are you talking about? I'm NOT naked!" Bubble Bass asks: "Than where are your shorts?" Po says: "I'm wearing them of course! Right..." Than Po realizes that Bubble Bass IS right, and quickly ducks behind the door! Po says: "I don't know how this happened! Nobody HAS ever managed to take away my shorts before...while I was sleeping!"

Bubble Bass says: "Than put on some other shorts!" Po rummages through his drawers, but is SHOCKED to find all his drawers EMPTY! Po says: "This can't be HAPPENING! Who could take away ALL my clothes?!" Bubble Bass' mood sours, and he says: "Anti-Cosmo! Now that Tigress is GONE, he's trying to turn YOU into a villain, by taking away the VERY thing that defines YOU as a hero!" Po says: "Good luck with THAT, he is going to have to do a LOT better than THAT! Still, I am going to need SOMETHING, until I can find my shorts again!" Po looks around, and spots a yellow apron with a red rose, on an ironing board. Po takes it, wraps it around himself, and he says: "I guess THAT'S going to have to do for now. Still, I am wondering why YOU want to see me!" Bubble Bass says: "Po, I've decided! I'm not just going to BE a good guy in the competition, I want to be a good guy in real life! And to start that off, I want to, apologize for trying to vote you off last night. I REALLY, had no idea those penguins were trying to USE us, the way they were using us!" Po says: "Tigress suspected that SOMEONE might try that play, she just didn't know who." Bubble Bass says: "Listen, I know you're probably a little sore about the other night, and you have every right to be! But we NEED to put our differences aside! Those penguins can't get AWAY with playing us! We have GOT to take our dignity back! So, I suggest that for the time being, we put our differences aside, and work together to get at least ONE of the penguins out of the competition!" Po thinks about it, and he says: "Agreed. But who should we target?" Bubble Bass says: "Well, since the Pendant of Life is no longer an issue, if one of them happens to win immunity, we'll simply vote for whoever DOESN'T have it, and try to eliminate the other one later. But if neither of them wins it, I suggest we vote off Kowalski. He's CLEARLY the bigger intellectual threat between the two!" Po says: "But what about Private?" Bubble Bass says: "I'm not discounting Private! I know it's not just dumb luck that he got THIS far! But for us, it's better to KEEP the threat that we can keep better control of, than one we can't! That's why Kowalski has GOT to go, if we can manage it! And you can get Jenny on board with the idea!" Po asks: "Why would Jenny EVER want to vote with us?" Bubble Bass says: "You can tell her, that she would be doing you a FAVOR! In exchange for you NOT getting mad at her for her role in helping to eliminate Tigress, you WON'T vote her off, even if she DOESN'T win immunity tonight, as long as she agrees to vote for whichever penguin, or Kowalski, if he doesn't win immunity tonight!" Po says: "Well, I can't argue with that plan! That actually sounds like a REALLY good plan!" Bubble Bass excitedly says: "You REALLY think that's a good plan?!" Po says: "Of course! I wasn't sure at first, but now I know, that you ARE a good guy at heart! And just like me, you want to do the right thing, no matter WHAT that involves!"

(Confessional) Bubble Bass actually cries tears of joy, and he says: "Po says that he KNOWS I'm a good guy! And if Po says that I'm a good guy, than I have FINALLY found the validation that I'm looking for! All that's left is to use that validation, and get as far as I possibly can in this competition! And no matter what happens, I'll be able to leave the game, knowing that I played it as honorably as I could have! I know that Po won't make it easy for me to win! But if I've made it past Tigress, than I've GOT to see if I've got what it takes to get past Po! And may the better man win, no matter WHO it is!" / Po says: "Bubble Bass really HAS come a long way since he first got here. When he first got here, I thought there was almost no CHANCE he would make it past the team merge, ESPECIALLY with his EARLY demeanor! But he has surprised me! He REALLY straightened up! He got his act together, and he has gone above and BEYOND the call of duty, in doing the right thing, even WITH different factors trying to make it difficult for him! And if he can be THIS good in the competition, imagine what he can do BACK in Bikini Bottom! I don't know if they will SHOW it on the ACTUAL 'Spongebob Squarepants' show, but at least WE'LL know, what Bubble Bass is ACTUALLY like!" (End Confessional) A theremin plays over the loud-speakers, and Sniz says: "Attention Earthlings! The time for the next challenge is at hand! Please report to outside the cafeteria for further instructions, on how today's challenge will go down! That is all!" Kowalski says: "How exciting! It sounds like we're going to have an outer space challenge!" Private says: "An outer space challenge? How are they going to pull THAT off?!" Jenny says: "Well, obviously, Anti-Cosmo has his magic tricks, and we KNOW of SOME aliens who can provide a challenge! This ought to be MOST interesting!" (Confessional) Jenny says: "I've battled my share of intergalactic evil-doers, mostly from The Cluster. And no matter WHAT has been thrown my way, with the exception of Armageddroid, it's never really FELT like a challenge to my abilities! Hopefully, today will be different! After all, if I don't face difficult challenges, how will I ever get BETTER, as a heroic protector of Earth?!" / Kowalski says: "Let's face the facts; Skipper had a tough time LAST season, facing against intergalactic aliens without MY charts and analysis. But now that I'm HERE, I am feeling SUPREMELY confident, that I can face ANYTHING that is thrown my way!" / Private shudders, and he says: "I'm feeling SO nervous right now! Kowalski is hanging by a thread! He's already narrowly AVOIDED being eliminated TWICE! I don't know if he can survive a THIRD time! And now that the Pendant of Life is no longer in play, it's either got to be Immunity, or NOTHING! It's just...I feel so unsure about what I SHOULD do! I mean, I want to win to, but I certainly don't think the other contestants are going to let the BOTH of us, enter the Final Four! I just hope that I don't make too poor a showing, and that the other contestants will keep me on for their OWN reasons!" (End Confessional)

The contestants make it to outside the cafeteria, and Sniz asks: "Po, why are you wearing an apron?" Po says: "Ask Anti-Cosmo!" Sniz shouts: "Anti-Cosmo! Have you been MESSING with the contestants AGAIN?!" Anti-Cosmo appears, and he says: "Sorry! It's not ME this time! It must be Anti-Poof! A chip off the old block! He must be having fun, practicing his evil spells!" Jenny asks: "What did Anti-Poof do?!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Why don't I save you the trouble and SHOW you?!" And Anti-Cosmo poofs up a small, movie screen, and an image of Anti-Poof appears in the image! Anti-Poof says: "Mwa, ha, ha! Oh, poor Po! I know how much you LIKE your clothes! The very THING that defines your IMAGE as a hero! BUT, how can you MAINTAIN your image, without your CLOTHES?!!!" And Anti-Poof shows ALL of Po's pants, lying in a heap on a concrete ground! Anti-Poof says: "Since I know how COMPETENT you guys can be trying to perform a heroic task, I'm not even going to give you the chance, and NIP your chances in the BUD! So...!" Anti-Poof gives himself a FLAMETHROWER, and a welding mask to shield his face, and Anti-Poof says: "GOOD-BYE, CLOTHES!!!! GOOD-BYE, IMAGE!!!!" And Anti-Poof BURNS all of Po's clothes into ashes! / And the clip ends! Po angrily says: "When I get my hands on Anti-Poof, I'm going to give him SUCH a spanking!" Anti-Cosmo says: "You'd have to FIND him first, and good luck with THAT! You will get no help from ME in that department!" General Barracuda says: "Oh, is THAT so?!" Anti-Cosmo says: "That's so! Don't bother raising your fist, I'll see MYSELF out!" And Anti-Cosmo poofs himself away! Fondue says: "He'll be back. He's GOT to come back to pick up his paycheck SOMETIME!" Marlene says: "Don't worry about it Po, we'll figure out your situation later." Po says: "I'm not worried, I've endured WORSE things than this...can't think of any right NOW, though." Sniz says: "In any case, contestants, today, you have OFFICIALLY become the Final Five! But by the end of today, you will become the Final Four! To determine who that will be, you will be performing an outer space challenge today, and here's how that is going to work! First off, we have developed a realistic space shuttle ride on this island. While it won't GO into outer space, it WILL simulate the zero G-'s that you will experience, GOING into outer space and IN it, in order to get you acclimated to the real thing! The next part is, we have asked Zim, Kaput, Keswick, and Wally, former contestants AND, all aliens or in Wally's case, with EXTENSIVE space travel credentials, for their help in taking you into outer space, and piloting your faster than light speed flying saucer, through the asteroid belt and back, making sure to pass between EIGHT sets of red colored asteroid rocks, in order to magically turn them green, to VERIFY that you've passed through them! The first contestant to get back HERE after passing through the necessary asteroids, will win immunity for the challenge!"

Kowalski says: "Uh, one problem. Jenny is a ROBOT! She can't FEEL Zero G's, even if she WANTED to!" Sniz says: "Not to worry! The turbulence she experiences, will be MORE than enough to make up for her lack of a biological equilibrium!" Private says: "A biological equilibrium? BOY, does this show use FANCY words!" Sniz says: "We got to meet our educational quota SOMEHOW! Marlene, get our contestants suited up and prepped up as best as you can for this challenge!" Marlene says: "Yes, sir! Contestants, pardon the expression, but you're about to get a...'Crash course', on how to be an astronaut. First off, in space, no one can hear you scream; not even is you're Sigourney Weaver or John Hurt! Second, it normally takes at least months, or preferably years, to become a trained astronaut. But due to the short amount of time, you will have to settle for an hour of physical exams! Once you're done, you will be suited up, and put into the space shuttle! Once you're all trained, you will be beamed aboard the aliens' flying saucers, for the final part of the challenge! And don't worry, the flying saucers will be a CINCH to pilot! I wish you the best of luck, and may the best contestant win!" Private says: "Thank you, Marlene! That means so MUCH to me!" (Confessional) Private says: "I know that Marlene was talking to EVERYONE, but it's kind of nice for me, to pretend that she was addressing ME personally!" (End Confessional) Marlene says: "Contestants, to our makeshift, Astronaut, training room!" And all the contestants follow Marlene. Sniz says: "All right! Our challenge has just gotten started! Our contestants will be put through their paces, as they train to see if they have, 'The Right Stuff', which I can mention by name, since I'm not planning to make any money off of it! They will see whether they are men, or if they are mice; metaphorically speaking, of course! Find out who is up to the challenge, once we come back from some necessary messages, on 'Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back'! It will be an event that will ROCK the Solar System!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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I hope you're ready for this, because it's time for the second and final part of the latest "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back" episode, "Cosmic Thing!" Prepare to have your mind (figuratively) blown! / The commercials end, and it opens up on Marlene, standing in front of a Zero G simulator, with Zim, Keswick, Kaput, and Wally! Marlene says: "Welcome back to the action currently in progress! While our contestants are currently spending their time, getting their bodies adjusted for outer space flight, I just thought I'd take some time, to talk with 3 extra terrestrials, and one outer space traveler! Guys, how does it feel to be back here on this show?" Zim says: "Silence, mortal! I do not ANSWER any questions to someone who has an intellect VASTLY lower than my own!" Marlene says: "Than you must not answer very many questions at ALL!" Kaput says: "BURN!!!! And I'm not like Zim, I'll answer your question! I'm mainly here in order to raise my chances of getting picked to come back on Total Cartoon Legends. If ZIM can get a chance to have a comeback, than so can I!" Keswick says: "And the reason why I'm here, is to explain why exactly it was that T.U.F.F., needed that Death Ray...Thingy we got from the contestants during that spy challenge. You see, I wanted to reverse engineer it, to see if it would be capable of generating great thrust, instead of great destruction! As it turns out, it can! And now that I've hooked up the energy source to the flying saucers, all four spacecraft can make a journey to the asteroid belt and back to Earth in just one hour, instead of a couple of years!" Wally says: "And I, Admiral Wally, his smartness, want to see the effects of this speed on various objects, including a live creature. So, whoever gets to fly with me, will get to experience the most this new found speed has to offer." Marlene says: "Fascinating. And it looks like our contestants are finished with their space training now! Here they come!" /

Triumphant music, reminiscent of "The Right Stuff", plays while the five contestants walk towards the camera in slow motion. Kaput says: "Wow! Now THAT, is AWESOME!" Marlene asks: "Are all of you contestants ready to get on with this challenge?" Po says: "As ready as we'll ever be, given the circumstances". Marlene says: "Than get ready to board the spaceships." Private says: "Um, one problem. There's only FOUR spaceships, and five of us!" Sniz says: "I think you're forgetting, Jenny is a ROBOT! She's already BUILT to fly into outer space, and she can do so WITHOUT the need to breathe air, and will be protected from a hot Earth re-entry!" Jenny says: "Yeah! I'm surprised you guys FORGOT that!" Private blushes, and says: "Sorry!" Sniz says: "In any case, we're going to decide this randomly! So, Po gets to go with Kaput, Private gets to go with Keswick, Kowalski gets to go with Zim, and Bubble Bass gets to go with Wally!" Wally says: "Yeah! I got the fan favorite for this season!" Private says: "I thought that I was the fan favorite!" Sniz says: "Maybe for ONE person! But we've lost contact with him, and we don't know where he is anymore!" Private sadly says: "Just my luck!" Kowalski says: "Don't worry, I KNOW you're skills! You'll do just fine with or without that fan!" Po asks: "Kaput, is your spaceship going to go fast?" Kaput says: "It SHOULD! It's got more energy in it than the entire California electrical supply grid!" Bubble Bass says: "So, Wally, how is it that I'm a fan favorite?" Wally says: "Simple. You've shown that despite some mistakes, you've learned how to become kind, nice, generous, and above all, not afraid of who you TRULY are! I know that when this season is over, you'll be able to show everyone at Bikini Bottom that." Bubble Bass confidently says: "You're right! I can, and I WILL! It's CLEAR to me about what I need to do, I just hope everyone will be cool with me, doing it!" Kowalski says: "All right Zim, listen up! I don't really like you, and you don't really like me! But, I'm willing to put my distaste for you away for the moment, in order to win this challenge!" Zim scoffs, and says: "You HONESTLY think that YOU can beat these guys?!" Kowalski says: "I should! I've got the charts and the analysis on my side!" Zim says: "Listen! You might know how to win this game on PAPER, but this is REAL life! Wisdom isn't enough to win this game! I ought to know, I TRIED that strategy the last two seasons I competed! Didn't work, either time! You want to win this challenge? You better have the SKILLS, to back up your wisdom!" And Kowalski gulps nervously! (Confessional) Kowalski says: "I hate to admit it, but jerk wad has a POINT! Out of all the contestants, every single one of them has more ACTUAL skills than I do, even Private! And all I have are my charts! Would good will my charts do without any actual skills?! I better hope that some actual skills manage to manifest really soon, or else I'LL be kaput, and I don't mean the ACTUAL alien named Kaput!" / Kaput sarcastically says: "Never heard of THAT comment before!" /

Zim says: "I just want to state, for the record, that if I knew the competition was going to be THIS easy this season, I would've actually competed!" / Wally says: "I hope that I get chosen to come back for Total Cartoon Legends! I TOTALLY want to play with Bubble Bass! He would be a GREAT ally!" / Bubble Bass says: "Wally thinks that I would be a great ALLY! Wow! I'm really lucky I get to be with HIM, then!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, then! Contestants, board your spaceship! Jenny, get ready to blast off!" Po boards Kaput's spaceship, Private boards Keswick's spaceship, Kowalski boards Zim's spaceship, Bubble Bass boards Wally's spaceship, and Jenny switches to interstellar mode! On board Wally's spaceship, Bubble Bass is AMAZED to see a big bucket of GRAVY! Bubble Bass says: "WOAH! Wally, you carry around THAT much gravy?!" Wally says: "Ordinarily, no. But, it is rare, space gravy from the planet KO-35. It has been untested as of yet, which is why I have been asked to transport it back to MY home planet, so that Yay-Ok can analyze it!" Bubble Bass says: "Cool! What happens if I touch it?" Wally says: "I don't KNOW, I SAID it was UNTESTED!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh." Marlene appears on the screen monitors, inside the spaceships! Marlene asks: "Are all the contestants buckled up, and ready for blast-off?" Private says: "All buckled up, and accounted for, Marlene!" Sniz says: "Than get ready for launch! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and LIFT OFF!!!!" And as the spaceships blast off from the ground, into the outer stratosphere, and into outer space, the chorus of Elton John's "Rocket Man" begins playing in the back ground! / Elton John sings: "And I think it's gonna be a long, long time, 'til touchdown brings me 'round again to find, I'm not the man they think I am at home. Oh, no, no, no. I'm a rocket man, rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone. And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time, 'til touchdown brings me 'round again to find, I'm not the man they think I am at home. Oh, no, no, no. I'm a rocket man, rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone." / And the spaceships reach outer space! On the monitors in the spaceships, Sniz appears! Sniz says: "Congratulations, contestants! You are now OFFICIALLY in outer space! You may now proceed to head towards the asteroid belt! Just watch out for random space junk that may be flying around!" And all the contestants simultaneously say: "Space junk?!" And the contestants have to avoid, and some fail to, avoid getting their spaceships hit by things that even LOGICALLY shouldn't BE in outer space, like a barbell, a grandfather clock, a piano, an umbrella, a bird cage, a couch, a lawn chair, and an HDTV! Kowalski says: "Ugh! We've been hit by EVERYTHING except a Kitchen Sink!" And then Kowalski gets hit by PRECISELY that! Bubble Bass says: "Ooh, I'd hate to be Kowalski right about now!" Po gasps, as he sees something headed TOWARDS Bubble Bass' spaceship! Po says: "Bubble Bass, look out for that soccer ball!" Bubble Bass says: "WHAT?!" Po says: "MOVE!!!!" And Po QUICKLY slams his spaceship into Bubble Bass' spaceship!

However, Po, ends up slamming SO hard, it knocks Bubble BASS off his feet, and causes both Bubble Bass AND Wally to have their clothes RIPPED off as they SNAG on the sharp edges within the spaceship, and the space gravy ends up getting poured ONTO them! Bubble Bass begins coughing up BUBBLES, and he says, with BUBBLES coming out of him: "Gee, what WEIRD tasting gravy! Wait! Are those bubbles, coming out of me?" Bubble Bass stops talking, and no bubbles come out. Bubble Bass quickly moves around, and produces more bubbles! Bubble Bass says: "Wally, do YOU feel any different?" Wally says: "I don't know, I need some brain food." And to Wally's surprise, the refrigerator in his spaceship opens, and a banana comes floating RIGHT into one of Wally's hands! Bubble Bass says: "WOAH! How did you do that?!" Wally says: "I just thought about wanting a banana, and it CAME to me!" Bubble Bass says: "You know, I think that space gravy gave us some kind of SUPERPOWERS!" Wally says: "Do you really think so?!" Bubble Bass says: "Watch!" And Bubble Bass concentrates, and starts to form bubbles of various shapes and sizes, including some COMPLEX shapes that Spongebob has created in the past! Wally says: "I think you're right! You've gained the ability to create and form bubbles into ANY shape you want!" Bubble Bass says: "Try thinking about food again!" Wally says: "Okay!" And Wally thinks, and sure enough, an apple comes floating to him! Bubble Bass says: "It seems that you've gained the ability to have telekinesis over food! But why?" Wally says: "It can have it's uses!" Bubble Bass says: "But why did WE gain these powers?" Wally says: "Obviously it must be the space gravy. It must give you a power, based on a subconscious thought or memory buried DEEP within your psyche! For me, whenever I'm not on a mission, I tend to think about food. But, there must be SOMETHING in your life that has allowed you to create bubbles!" Bubble Bass gasps, and he says: "Those incidents my MOM told me about; about running around in BUBBLES! That must have been on my mind! But you know what?" Wally says: "What?" Bubble Bass gasps, and he happily says: "This actually feels...liberating. I...I don't feel ASHAMED of myself anymore! I don't need to hide who I truly am anymore! I AM Bubble Bass, and what you see, is what you get!" Wally says: "Awesome! Me to!" Bubble Bass says: "Stand back, I'm going to try something! Do you have a weapons system in place?" Wally says: "Yes, I do!" Bubble Bass says: "Than let's see what some BUBBLE power can do!" And Bubble Bass puts his fins up to the weapons bay, concentrates, and through the laser bay, fires out BUBBLES, shaped like bombs, and they even EXPLODE like bombs, and REMOVE all of the space junk floating around the contestants! Jenny says: "WOAH! Bubble Bass cleared all the space junk with, BUBBLES?! Totally wasn't expecting that!" Bubble Bass says: "This is ACTUALLY awesome! Now that we've got THAT handled! We've got a challenge to win!"

And Bubble Bass jets off, and gains the lead! Private says: "Hey! He's taking off!" Po says: "Than we better go after him! Come on, Kowalski!" Kowalski groggily says: "Don't mind me, I just need to walk off this minor concussion, first." Jenny scoffs and says: "Lightweight!" Fondue looks at the action through their monitors, and he says: "They sure are GOING fast! So fast, we can't even really MONITOR their actions in real time!" Marlene says: "Than it looks like we have to go for a montage song! Personally, I prefer Pat Benatar's version of "You Better Run!" Sniz says: "Than make it so, Anti-Cosmo!" / Pat Benatar's "You Better Run", plays; and while it does, a montage of the contestants trying to fly through the asteroid field, and avoiding the rogue asteroids, as well as Bubble Bass' bubble creations, Bubble Bass begins building and maintaining a lead throughout the ENTIRE race! / Pat Benatar sings: "Whatcha tryin' a do to my heart? Whatcha tryin' a do to my heart? You go around tellin' lies, and now you want to compromise; whatcha tryin' a do to my heart? And you better run, you better hide; you better leave from my sight, yeah! Whatcha tryin' a do to my soul? Whatcha tryin' to do to my soul? Well, everything I had was yours, and now I'm closin' all the doors. Whatcha tryin' a do to my soul? And you better run, you better hide, you better leave from my sight, yeah! I love you oh, I love you so! Can't you see it? Don't you know? I can't stand your alibis, Yyour tellin' lies, you drive me wild, yeah! (Instrumental Solo) I said, what are ya tryin' a do to my head? Whatcha tryin' to do to my head? Well, now I've gotta draw the line, 'cause you ain't gonna take my mind. What are ya tryin' a do to my head? You better run, you better hide! You better leave from my sight! You better run, you better hide! You better leave from my sight! Let me go, yeah! I said go away, and leave me alone! I can't stand you no more!" (Instrumental finish, until Bubble Bass' spaceship touches down first, and wins, ending the epic song!) Sniz says: "And it's all over! It's all over, and in RECORD time, to! That new energy source is efficient, but a little TOO much for our challenge purposes. Oh well, live and learn!" And the other contestants arrive, and land as well! Sniz says: "It looks like ALL our contestants are here! Come on out, the challenge is over!" Everyone comes out, but everyone is SURPRISED to see Bubble Bass and Wally WILLFULLY naked! Private says: "Bubble Bass, what HAPPENED to you two?!" Bubble Bass says: "Long story. To simplify it, I have bubble based super powers now, Wally has telekinesis over food, and we are no longer ashamed of who we are!" Kowalski says: "That's GREAT! But do you have to be so BLATANT about it?!" Wally says: "You're not ONE to TALK! You and Private regularly NEVER WEAR CLOTHES AT ALL!!!!" Private says: "Ooh, he's got us THERE, Kowalski!" Po says: "And I agree. It's their choice, I won't argue with it!"

Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "Whew! I don't have to HIDE who I truly AM anymore! What a RELIEF! (DOING!!!!) Uh, THAT, came out wrong!" General Barracuda says: "Son, is this REALLY who you truly are?" Bubble Bass says: "Dad, I've never been sure of anything more in my life. However, if it makes you FEEL any better, I'll compromise a little." And Bubble Bass concentrates, and creates a layer of BUBBLES, around his body. General Barracuda sighs, and he says: "I suppose it will do." Bubble Bass says: "Awesome! And Flats The Flounder said I would NEVER make ANYTHING of myself! Well, just look where I am now!" Sniz says: "I agree. You definitely showed HIM up! You have immunity, and cannot be eliminated tonight! Everyone else, is fair game!" Kowalski says: "Come, Private! We have a VERY tough choice to make!" Private says: "Agreed!" As soon as they leave, Bubble Bass says: "Po, Jenny, come here!" Po asks: "What do YOU want?!" Bubble Bass says: "Po, you wanna avenge the loss of Tigress?" Po says: "More than anything!" Bubble Bass says: "Good! Than I suggest you vote off Kowalski! He clearly LOST this challenge, but we can't TAKE the chance that he might win the NEXT one if he stays! Besides, he's an intellectual threat! He might be as smart as YOU, Jenny!" Jenny says: "I highly doubt that! But, since we can't vote for you, EVEN if we wanted to, I suppose we'll play ball with you THIS time! After all, you DID get rid of all the space junk, so we ARE a little bit in your favor!" Wally says: "And Sniz?" Sniz says: "What is it, Wally?" Wally says: "I choose to stay as an intern! I want to be around Bubble Bass, and get to know him better!" Sniz says: "Sure! We could USE a new intern, now that Brittany is no longer around!" Wally says: "Awesome! I have a job, and I get to hang with MARLENE again!" Marlene says: "Well, that's one way to look at it!" Sniz says: "All right, you two! Get the campfire ready! We've got an elimination ceremony to prepare for!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Personally, I never thought that this would be the way of proving myself. But, I do feel bad about turning down Spongebob and Patrick earlier this season. This is my way of making it up to them. I'm here to show them, that I'm as willing to be as honest, and as kind as they are. And if THIS is the way that I have to do, all the better for me! It may just be the immunity talking, but I've never FELT as invincible, as I do right now! It's oddly satisfying, to be honest!" / Po says: "Bubble Bass sure has gotten bold, and COMPETENT! He went from being as competent as Theodore Seville, to now being almost as competent as me! If he didn't HAVE immunity right now, I'd eliminate him, right here and now! But, seeing as how I can't, I'll settle for eliminating Kowalski!" / Jenny says: "Bubble Bass' competence has increased FAR greater than I EVER expected to, especially under THESE new circumstances! But I'm not worried! I've STILL got a few tricks up my robotic sleeves! But for now, I'm voting off Kowalski! For him, it's all over BUT the shouting!" (End Confessional)

It's night-time, and the five contestants are sitting around the campfire, waiting for the action to go down! Sniz says: "In all honesty, I'm surprised by how the Final Five has turned out. The way I saw it, only TWO of the FIVE of you would've gotten to THIS point; the other three wouldn't have come anywhere NEAR here! With that being said, I won't reveal exactly whom I'm talking about; you'll have to figure that one out for yourself! You all know the drill; Bubble Bass has managed to win immunity, and cannot be eliminated. Everyone else, is fair game." (Confessional) Kowalski crosses off Po's card! Kowalski says: "I've got to do it! You're the biggest threat BESIDES Bubble Bass LEFT in the competition!" / Private crosses off Po's card! Private says: "Sorry, Po! It's either you or me!" / Bubble Bass crosses off Kowalski's card! Bubble Bass says: "You eliminated MY alliance partner friend FIRST! Eliminating you is laser guided karma!" / Po crosses off Kowalski's card! Po says: "THAT'S for causing Tigress to be eliminated!" / Jenny crosses off Kowalski's card! Jenny says: "Statistically speaking, this is the best move I can make!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Voting over, and if you are safe, you'll receive a safe marshmallow. If not, avoid the Anti-Fairy Marshmallow, pack your bags, and head for the Slingshot of Shame. Here's who will get the SAFE marshmallows! Bubble Bass, Private! Jenny!" Kowalski and Po look at each other nervously!

Sniz says: "A penguin, and the panda! Which one of you will be safe tonight! The votes have been cast, and now, you'll find out the results! The final safe marshmallow goes to...PO!!!! WHAT?! No Anti-Fairy Marshmallow?" Anti-Cosmo says: "General Barracuda confiscated them, and WON'T tell me where they are, unless I tell him where Anti-Poof is, which is NEVER going to happen! That fish is ALWAYS spoiling MY fun!" Private says: "NO!!!! This can't be HAPPENING!!!!" Kowalski sighs, and says: "Sorry, Private! I gave it my best shot, but I guess the TWO of us making the Final Three, simply wasn't meant to be!" Private says: "Oh, Kowalski, what will I do without you?!" Kowalski says: "Private, look at me; I KNOW you can do this! You're charming, witty, skilled, intuitive, and wiser than even YOU realize! You HAVE to win, for the BOTH of us!" Private sheds a tear, and than wipes it off. Private says: "You're right, Kowalski, I will!" And Private gives Kowalski a hug! / Kowalski is all packed up, and fitted for safety for the Slingshot of Shame! Sniz asks: "Are you ready for this?" Kowalski sighs and says: "As ready as I'll ever be. Fire away!" Sniz says: "On it!" Sniz launches the Slingshot, and Kowalski shouts: "See you at the finale, Private!" Sniz says: "And just like that, Kowalski has FINALLY been eliminated! There are only four contestants left! Bubble Bass, Private, Po, and Jenny! These four have made it past TEN contestants, and are now staring down at the Final Four! What kind of challenge will wait for them there? All I know is, it's literally anybody's game at this point! Stay tuned to see how it all goes down on the next exciting episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! No jacket required!" / Epilogue: A music video of Bubble Bass and Wally playing together is shown, all to the tune of a familiar hit song by The Beatles, called "Everybody's Got Something to Hide, Except Me And My Monkey!" / John Lennon sings: "Come on, come on, come on, come on! Come on, it's such a joy! Come on, it's such a joy! Come on, let's take it easy! Come on, let's take it easy! Take it easy, take it easy! Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey! (Ooh) The deeper you go, the higher you fly! The higher you fly, the deeper you go! So come on, come on, come on; come on, it's such a joy! Come on, it's such a joy! Come on, let's make it easy! Come on, let's take it easy! Oh, take it easy! Yeah, yeah, yeah, take it easy! Hoo! Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey, yeah! Oh! Your inside is out, when your outside is in. Your outside is in, when your inside is out. So come on, ho, come on! Ho, come on, it's such a joy. Come on, it's such a joy! Come on, let's make it easy. Come on, let's make it easy. Make it easy! Hoo! Make it easy! Hoo! Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey! Hey! Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! Come on, come on, come on! Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! Come on, come on, come on!" / And the epic song ends! /

Episode Notes: Bubble Bass and Wally inexplicably gain superpowers (the ability to create and control bubbles; and telekinesis over food respectively), and Bubble Bass wins solo immunity for the THIRD time in a row this season! Wally joins this show as an Intern! Featured songs include "Cosmic Thing; Rocket Man; You Better Run;" and "Everybody's Got Something To Hide, Except Me And My Monkey". First time that Anti-Cosmo WASN'T responsible for a problem this season! Kowalski is eliminated this episode, making Private the sole representative from "The Penguins of Madagascar", remaining. Eliminated Contestants: 14. Bessie Higgenbottom ("The Mighty B!"); 13. Rico ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"); 12. Katarra ("Avatar: The Last Airbender"); 11. Theodore Seville ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"); 10. Danny Fenton ("Danny Phantom"); 9. Fee ("Harvey Beaks"); 8. Brittany Miller ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"); 7. Johnny Krill ("Spongebob Squarepants"); 6. Tigress ("Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness"); 5. Kowalski ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"). Remaining Contestants: Bubble Bass, Jenny Wakeman, Po, and Private. /

Personal Notes: Initially, I had no real plans for this episode, other than that I needed a reason that Kowalski to be eliminated, and for Bubble Bass to wind up winning immunity, in order for Bubble Bass to NOT be eliminated yet! I had no REAL smart way to do that, so I figured; why not do something out of LEFT field, that's COMPLETELY unexpected, and come up with a STUPID reason for Bubble Bass to do that?! Giving Bubble Bass, and Wally, superpowers, through Space Gravy, was a weird way to do it; but then again, it's certainly not the WEIRDEST thing to have ever happened on Nickelodeon Nicktoons! It's just par for the course for them! Kowalski's goal this season, was to coach Private, and help him out for as long as he could. Kowalski actually lasted LONGER than I meant for him, to! He was actually supposed to be the first ONE eliminated after the team merge! But, since Johnny Krill got eliminated again, it ended up shuffling the original elimination order, and Kowalski's elimination was placed here instead. While I regret eliminating Kowalski, his elimination was necessary, in order for Private to grow and develop as a character. / I hope you enjoyed reading this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

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All right! It's time for the Final Four! Get ready for this upcoming challenge which will (hopefully) rock your world! Enjoy! / Sniz is standing in front of a forest, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, it was space challenge day for our contestants. First, they had to get ready for space training, before they could fly flying saucers with their selected pilots. One of them, Admiral Wally, his Smartness, was for some reason, transporting some Space Gravy, which ended up giving both Bubble Bass and Wally, superpowers! Bubble Bass used his new superpower, to create bubbles, to blow away some space junk, AND, blow away the competition, managing to snag ANOTHER win, and he did it all, while ONLY wearing bubbles! If that's not amazing, I don't know WHAT is! At the elimination ceremony, Kowalski got the boot, while Wally, decided to stay on as an intern, in order to be with Bubble Bass. Now there are only four contestants left. We're down to the Final Four! It's neck and neck between Po, Jenny, Bubble Bass, and inexplicably, Private! Which one of these contestants has what it takes to win the upcoming challenge, and who will be the next one voted off?! It's anyone's game as we're heading on down to the wire, on the latest episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! It's going to be WILD!" / Instead of the normal show open, a montage of scenes, showing ALL the animal contestants from the past four seasons, is being played, at their best moments, while The Rolling Stones 1978 hit song, "Beast of Burden," is played over the montage. / Mick Jagger sings: "I'll never be your beast of burden. My back is broad, but it's a hurting, All I want is for you to make love to me. I'll never be your beast of burden. I've walked for miles, my feet are hurting. All I want is for you to make love to me. Am I hard enough? Am I rough enough? Am I rich enough? I'm not too blind to see. I'll never be your beast of burden. So let's go home and draw the curtains. Music on the radio; come on baby, make sweet love to me. Am I hard enough? Am I rough enough? Am I rich enough? I'm not too blind to see! Oh, little sister! (Instrumental Solo) Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, girl. You're a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty girl. Pretty, pretty; such a pretty, pretty, pretty girl. Come on baby please, please, please! I'll tell ya; you can put me out, on the street! Put me out with no shoes on my feet! But, put me out, put me out, put me out of misery! Yeah, all your sickness, I can suck it up! Throw it all at me, I can shrug it off! There's one thing baby, that I don't understand; you keep on telling me I ain't your kind of man. Ain't I rough enough? Ooh, baby, ain't I tough enough? Ain't I rich enough, in love enough? Ooh! Ooh! Please! I'll never be your beast of burden. I'll never be your beast of burden. Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be. I'll never be your beast of burden. I've walked for miles, and my feet are hurting. All I want is you to make love to me. I don't need no beast of burden. I need no fussing, I need no nursing. Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be!" / And the epic song ends! /

"Beasts Of Burden" / The show opens up proper on the hotel suite room, in which Bubble Bass is staying. It is early morning, and Bubble Bass is still dreaming. Thanks to the Anti-Fairy magic of Anti-Cosmo, we get to see WHAT Bubble Bass is dreaming. In it, Bubble Bass is staring in awe at the sky, as the jewels he has collected from the beginning of the season, rain down around him, and he makes an angel shape, out of the jewels that has surrounded him. Suddenly, a familiar voice, and woman, namely Blonda, enters his dream! Blonda says: "Bubble Bass, are we enjoying our dream?" Bubble Bass says: "I sure am! (Beat) Wait, what do you mean, OUR dream?!" Blonda says: "I STILL have the ability to use magic, you know! Lest you forget that important fact. I may STILL be in 'Shape-Shift Lock Mode' for the next seven months, until our baby boy is born, but I am otherwise still able to use magic. Tell me, how in the world did you manage to become so...AWESOME?!" Bubble Bass says: "To be honest, I don't really know. It started gradually at first, but ever since I became good, during that challenge where I was forced to be on guard duty for Sniz and Fondue, things have really started to happen for me! I mean, I have actual SUPERPOWERS now! I never thought THAT would actually happen!" Blonda says: "And look at how much you have accomplished, and where you are now! I mean, even if you DON'T win the game, you've managed to accomplish SO much, that I would be so PROUD to marry you, as you are!" Bubble Bass gets up, and Blonda can see Bubble Bass COMPLETELY! Bubble Bass says: "You really MEAN it? You love ME, as I am?" Blonda says: "ESPECIALLY as you are now! You're practically not afraid of ANYTHING anymore! No matter WHAT Anti-Cosmo has dished out at you, you've kept on persisting! And look where it has gotten you! You know, once our baby is born, I think I can get you a job with a rock band. I heard you singing on that music video that General Barracuda made. 'Addicted To Love'? Pretty great song! And I think there are plenty of MORE songs that would sound good with YOUR voice! And just THINK, how much PUBLICITY you could get! Your tickets would practically SELL themselves!" Bubble Bass says: "Do you REALLY think I could be a singer?" Blonda says: "Sure! Ask anybody! Ask Mick Jagger! Any band mates that you have, would be LUCKY to have you as a singer!" Bubble Bass says: "You know what Blonda? I'll do it! Once this season is over, I'll be in a band! Making music that will change the world, and making money off of royalties and album sales? It's a life-long dream of mine, other than the one I'm having right now, of course!" Blonda says: "It's amazing how you've gone from socially distant, to being so openly sociable! It's amazing how this season has changed you!" Bubble Bass says: "And all for the better, to! In fact, there's just one thing I'd like to do, before trying to win this season." Blonda asks: "Oh, and what would that be?"

Bubble Bass says: "Well, it's actually been on my mind for a while, but, I would like to ask Spongebob and Patrick, if they would like to become actual FRIENDS with me? Not because of my accomplishments, or the jewels I've found, or the potential fame I might get as a singer, but being friends with me, for who I am. I mean, I'd be a far more SOCIABLE friend, and far more tolerant to their actions, than Squidward would. Not to mention, if they hang out with me, they're NOT trying to hang out with Squidward, which I think Squidward would GREATLY appreciate!" Blonda says: "I think that would be a GREAT idea! Who knows? Spongebob and Patrick could even BE your band mates!" Bubble Bass says: "It's certainly worth a shot! The next time I see them, I'll DEFINITELY ask them!" Blonda says: "Of course! And once this season is over, promise me that we'll get married...in a private ceremony. I'm still a little sensitive about my current, NON-dream form!" Bubble Bass says: "Sorry about that. I was still...insecure about myself when I asked you to do that." Blonda says: "Understandable." Bubble Bass says: "I promise you, I'll NEVER ask you to do something like THAT ever again!" Blonda says: "That's genuinely the nicest thing anyone has EVER promised me! Thank you, Bubble Bass." Bubble Bass says: "You're welcome, Blonda!" / And Bubble Bass' dream ends, as he wakes up, and wakes up Wally, who is sharing a room with him! Bubble Bass says: "Good morning, new best friend, Wally!" Wally wakes up, and he says: "Good morning, new best friend, Bubble Bass! You're in a good mood, today!" Bubble Bass says: "It's hard not to be! I've gotten to the Final Four, and things are going GREAT! (Beat) Which means...the next three challenges are BOUND to be the hardest I've faced this season." Wally asks: "Why do you say that?" Bubble Bass says: "It's simple mathematics! I can't think of any SOLO contestant, who has managed to win FOUR solo immunity challenges in a row! And I've already won THREE! Statistically speaking, I COULD be looking at a loss!" Wally asks: "So, what are you going to DO about it?" Bubble Bass says: "Well, I don't really like him, for being partially RESPONSIBLE for helping to eliminate Tigress. But, I think I'll have to make an alliance with Private." Wally asks: "Why do you want to do THAT?! Po and Jenny are FAR more competent as challengers than HE is!" Bubble Bass says: "Exactly! Their skills are TOO good! If I face off against either one of them, my chances of winning will be reduced down to almost NOTHING! As much as I hate to admit it, facing off against Private is my only decent chance of actually GETTING a win this season!" Wally asks: "The question is, do you think Private will GO for it?" Bubble Bass says: "I don't see how he wouldn't. I mean, it's between me, and Po and/or Jenny. And to be honest, I don't see EITHER of them wanting to take Private to the Final Two in ANY scenario! I'm willing to MAKE that offer! I don't think either of them will!" Wally asks: "So, that's what your plan boils down to? Asking Private to align yourself with you?"

Bubble Bass says: "I know it's not an ideal situation for me; but at this point, I'm fresh out of other good options to choose from, seeing as how my original plan to take Johnny Krill and Tigress to the Final Three have fallen through, with Johnny Krill going CRAZY, and Tigress SACRIFICING herself to save Po! Private is the best metaphorical hand that I can play! And if that's what the metaphorical deck has dealt me, than so be it! I'll make my case to Private soon. And if that falls through...well, I'll guess I'll cross THAT bridge if I have to come to it, and not before!" Wally says: "That's a REALLY insightful statement, Bubble Bass!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Only two challenges remain until the Final Two. To be honest, I thought that I would have almost no CHANCE of getting here, even WITH my original alliance plan! But so far, luck has been on MY side! But luck can only get me so far! From here on out, I've got to rely on actual SKILLS if I want to GET to the Finals! It's certainly lucky that I've recently acquired super-powers, and that they're not SO super-powerful, as to be a game-breaker. Po and Jenny are clearly going to be more concerned with trying to beat each other, before they set their sights on me! Therefore, if one of them wins THIS challenge, I'll simply get Private to help vote off the other one, and deal with whoever is left in the final three! I'll make the next phase of my plan, ONCE I've carried out this one! Foresight, that's a really important thing to have in a game of this nature!" / Wally says: "Bubble Bass has given me a lot to think about, if I indeed get chosen to come back for Total Cartoon Legends! I want to pick my alliance partners very carefully. I would need contestants who are skilled and smart, who won't pose too much of a danger, should I get close to the Final Three. And, I would prefer to be able to keep my friendships with them, intact. It's not easy, but it's the way that I want to play. Staying true to myself, is the most important thing in the world to me!" Wally uses his telekinesis powers, and summons a pear, into his hands! Wally begins eating it, and says: "Mmm, peary!" (End Confessional) Meanwhile, in Po's hotel room, all the other contestants have gathered together. Private says: "I'm sorry, Po. My penguin espionage spying skills have turned up nothing, in regards as to where Anti-Poof might be." Jenny says: "And my X-ray scanners have turned up nothing! I don't think Anti-Poof is anywhere ON this island!" Po says: "And that means I'm still STUCK wearing a stupid apron!" Private says: "You could be like Bubble Bass. He's embraced who HE truly is!" Jenny gives Private a look, and she asks: "Really? THAT'S the train of logic that you're going with?" Po seriously says: "You're insane!" Private says: "Not true! Skipper had me tested! Only RICO is insane! Three guesses why, and the first two don't count!"

Po says: "Well, in any case, if we can't find Anti-Poof, we'll find Anti-Cosmo! We find him, Anti-Poof will soon follow!" Jenny says: "Wait a minute! Why do we NEED to help YOU find Anti-Cosmo?!" Po says: "Simple! It's OBVIOUS that I'm going to WIN this game! I'm the STRONGEST contestant left! Bubble Bass has been lucky SO far, but I'M going to end his run of good luck, right here and now!" Jenny says: "As if! If anyone is going to WIN this game, it's going to be ME! Do you have ANY idea of the amount of circuitry and nano-chips that have been installed in me? I'm the latest word in technology! I can't afford to NOT win this game!" Private says: "You're overlooking my espionage skills! If anyone is going to win this game, it's going to be ME! Nobody can resist MY charms!" Po and Jenny both look at him, and they BOTH simultaneously go: "HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!" Private asks: "What? What's so FUNNY?" Jenny scoffs, and she says: "As IF!!!! You're a total NON-issue when it comes to our game-plans! The only reason you're even HERE, is to exist as a GOAT for one of us to compete in the Final Two! When it comes down to a physical challenge between the two of us, we'll kick YOUR butt no contest! That's the only reason why we've even LET you BE here this long!" Private sadly asks: "Po, is that TRUE?" Po says: "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but its true. We could've voted YOU out ANYTIME we wanted! The only reason why we haven't, is LITERALLY because, everyone else, including SURPRISINGLY Bubble Bass, has posed more of a threat than you! And, since you have no WAY of winning the game on your own, your only choice, is to help us vote off Bubble Bass tonight, and than vote off whichever one of loses in the Final Three challenge, so you can lose in the Final Two. You should consider yourself lucky, even Skipper and Marlene only ever got THIRD place, and they were FAR more competent than YOU!" Private angrily says: "Well, I say, NUTS to THAT plan!!!!" And Po and Jenny gasp in audible shock! Private angrily says: "Yeah, I said, 'Nuts to THAT plan!' You both think you're such HOT stuff! What, with your Kung Fu skills, and your robotic technology, you think that YOU can push me around, like I'm sort of plush toy? Well, now I'm PUSHING back! You want to mess with the penguin? You're going to get the beak, and the talons! Mark my words, you two! This means WAR!!!!" And Private angrily storms off! Po looks worried about this new development, and he says: "I hate to say this, but, I think we just woke up a MONSTER! You know...it just occurred to me that there IS a possibility, that BOTH of us could LOSE this thing!" Jenny gasps, and says: "WHAT?! That's not possible!" Po says: "Tigress thought the same thing, and look what happened to HER! If Private REALLY intends to bring his 'A' Game, we better not take him lightly! If he TRULY intends for the best contestant to win; well, that's EXACTLY what he is going to get!" Jenny says: "I hear that, Po! I certainly do!" (Confessional)

Po says: "What I don't understand is, how could the two of us, Jenny and I, blow it SO badly with Private?! We had this game in our hands! Unless...Anti-Cosmo!" / Anti-Cosmo laughs: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! My truth telling ray STRIKES again! I told you there were no promises that I wouldn't USE it again!" / Jenny says: "That TEARS it! Anti-Cosmo can MESS with Bubble Bass all he wants, but when he messes with ME, there will be a piper to pay! It's time to fight metaphorical fire, with FIRE!!!!" And Jenny paints herself with her red-HOT biker look, complete with red hot flame decals, and Jenny seriously says: "I'm coming after YOU!!!!" / Private angrily says: "Po and Jenny have no right to disrespect me! I've been NOTHING but sociable and nice with them, and they're just going to brush me OFF?! Well, if that's how they want to play it, than I'm going to offer my services to someone who might just appreciate it! I am GOING to make an alliance with Bubble Bass! We'll see who has the last laugh now! Won't we?!" (End Confessional) Private knocks on Bubble Bass' door, and Private shouts: "Open up!" Bubble Bass says: "It's Private!" Wally asks: "He's here?!" Bubble Bass says: "I wasn't expecting this!" Wally asks: "Should you answer it?" Bubble Bass says: "He sounds SERIOUS!" Wally says: "Than you should answer it!" Bubble Bass opens the door, and he asks: "What do YOU want?!" Private seriously says: "I want YOU, to make an ALLIANCE with me!" Bubble Bass is taken aback, and he says: "Wait a minute! YOU, want to make an alliance, WITH me?" Private seriously says: "Yes! Jenny and Po BOTH think that I'm not important enough to be a factor against beating them in the Final Two! They think I'm nothing but cannon fodder that they can push to the side, in a Final Two challenge! Well, they're going to see that I'm NOT! Join my alliance, and we'll CRUSH them like the BUGS that they ARE! No offense to actual bugs!" Wally says: "None taken, even though I don't know of any bugs PERSONALLY!" Bubble Bass seriously says: "You know, you've got a LOT of nerve asking me to be in an alliance with you, the way you used me in a way to get Tigress eliminated!" Private says: "I just want to state, for the record, that I had no way of knowing, that Tigress was willing to put herself on the line for elimination, and that she wanted Po to save himself! But we're BOTH out of options! I don't want to be treated as either Po's, or Jenny's play-thing, and YOU don't want to be eliminated! So, our only choice is to unite together! It's our only chance against them, and I don't think you want to be eliminated, any more than I do. So, what do you say? Do we have a deal?" Bubble Bass says: "You know, the funny thing is, I was actually THINKING the exact same thing! I just didn't expect for YOU to come to me FIRST! But, it looks like my expectations have been exceeded. Very well, we have a deal. But don't think that this really changes anything. If we BOTH get to the Final Two, you're going to get my 'A' Game, no questions asked. And I don't expect for YOU, to go easy on me, either!"

Private seriously says: "I won't! I promise you that!" Bubble Bass says: "Good! It's settled! We'll both vote out either Po, or Jenny. Whichever one doesn't win immunity this time. And if one of us wins, we'll vote off the bigger threat in Po, and deal with Jenny in the Final Three." Private says: "I can't argue with THAT! I wouldn't know HOW to!" Bubble Bass says: "It's settled than. And no matter what happens in the Final Two, may the better contestant win. No exceptions." Private says: "Deal!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Every time I think I have this game figured out, another curve ball gets thrown at me! I certainly wasn't expecting Private to come to me first, but it certainly makes things a lot more convenient! So, my game plan has been realized! That's the easy part! The tricky part, will be to follow through! It won't be easy! But nothing REALLY fun in life, ever rarely IS easy!" / Private says: "I did it! Bubble Bass has aligned with me! And he doesn't just see me as some object to brush to the side! He actually thinks of me as a real challenge! So, even if, on the off-chance, I lose to him, that would be a loss I can live with. Better to lose to someone who respects you, than to someone who doesn't. That's the way I see it, at least." (End Confessional) Sniz's voice comes over through the loud-speakers, and says: "Attention, contestants; congratulations on making it to the Final Four! Your next challenge awaits you at the forest on this island! That is all!" Jenny says: "Well, our moment of destiny is here!" Po says: "No kidding! It's us, or THEM!" / The four contestants, and Wally, arrive at the forest. Sniz says: "Contestants, you know why you're here. You're here because through either luck, skill, stamina, strength, or any combination of the above, you have managed to persevere past ten other contestants, in order to make it to the Final Four! You should be proud of yourselves! However, the last two elimination challenges, will be among the toughest, this season has to offer! Your challenge this time, is no exception! Your challenge will be, to team up with an animal buddy, to make it past all the natural hazards on this island, in order to be the first to complete a full lap around this island, and make it back here first, and win immunity." And everyone looks at Sniz STRANGELY! (Confessional) Sniz looks through a portable computer, and he says: "YOU try coming up with 124 different challenge ideas! It was either, 'Animal Buddy' challenge or, 'Guy in a coma' challenge. And 'Coma' challenges, do NOT make for very exciting television!" (End Confessional) Private says: "An animal buddy challenge?! Isn't that a little redundant?!" Sniz says: "Not for Jenny, it isn't!" Jenny says: "And I'm raring to go for THIS challenge! Let me at Anti-Cosmo! I've had ENOUGH of his meddling!" And from a distance, Anti-Cosmo gulps nervously!

(Confessional) Anti-Cosmo breathes into a paper bag, and he nervously says: "I went too far! I went too FAR!!!! Why did I have to get Jenny, of ALL the contestants, mad at ME?! If she finds me, she'll KILL me! I'll have to move to a new city! Start a NEW crime spree under a NEW name!" Than Anti-Cosmo seriously says: "NO! NOT AGAIN!!!! If Jenny thinks she can get to ME, she's got another thing COMING! I'm throwing the GAUNTLET at HER!!!!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "In any case, we have picked four random animals, for you contestants to get paired up with. May luck be on your side! General Barracuda, spin the Wheel of Randomness!" And General Barracuda spins the wheel, and Po gets a TIGER!!!! Po says: "WOAH!!!! You mean...?!" Sniz says: "That's RIGHT! For your animal, you get TIGRESS!!!!" And Tigress pounces BACK on the scene! Tigress says: "HA!!!! I told you, I'd be back!" Bubble Bass says: "Uh, you NEVER said that!" Tigress thinks about it, and says: "Okay, no, I didn't! But I was definitely thinking it! Don't make any mistake about that!" And Private gulps nervously! (Confessional) Private says: "Oh, boy! It was going to be hard enough, trying to deal with Po on his own! With Tigress, it's going to be next to impossible! Bubble Bass, I hope you have some sort of plan you can concoct, because I sure don't!" / Bubble Bass says: "The thing of it is, I know that Tigress LIKES winning, but she would also like to keep me as her friend, a LOT! I didn't want to have to do this, but it looks like I'll have to give her some of my jewels after all!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda spins the wheel, and Private gets a CHAMELEON! Sniz says: "Private, you get our former contestant named, CHAMELEON!!!!" And Chameleon turns OFF his invisibility, and says: "Surprise!" And Private is taken aback! Chameleon laughs, and he says: "Just kidding! I just always wanted to do that! And don't worry! I'll do whatever I can do, to help you against Tigress!" (Confessional) Private says: "All right! Now I have a fighting chance! With Chameleon on my side, he's SURE to give Tigress a run for her money! After all, Chameleon can change into anything!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda spins the wheel, and it lands RIGHT between a SPONGE and a SEA STAR! Sniz says: "Bubble Bass, are YOU lucky! You get TWO for the price of one! Former contestants, Spongebob and Patrick!" Spongebob shouts: "I'm READY!" Patrick shouts: "Me to!" And they arrive, on the scene! Spongebob says: "Bubble Bass, you're here! And...covered in bubbles." Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "I know. You probably think of me as a hypocrite, chiding you BOTH for being naked, than choosing to walk around in nothing but bubbles. Go ahead, take your best shot; I deserve it." Patrick says: "Actually, we just want to say thank you, for taking Johnny Krill down a notch." Bubble Bass says: "Me? Really? Why?"

Spongebob says: "Simple. At the Salty Spitoon, all tough guys in town we're talking about 'Johnny Krill this,' and 'Johnny Krill that'. They thought there was no chance that ANYBODY could outlast him, let alone, you! Seeing you get this far, has made them rethink their whole stance on what constitutes as a tough guy, or girl!" Bubble Bass says: "Wow! That's interesting to know!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "At this point, I'm chalking it up to synchronicity. I wanted to talk to Spongebob and Patrick, and now, they're here! And...I don't know why, but I think that they might actually help me WIN this challenge! At this point, I wouldn't doubt that practically ANYTHING would be possible!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda spins the wheel, and lands on a WARTHOG!!!! Sniz says: "Jenny, you get former contestant, TAOTIE!!!!" And Taotie busts onto the scene! Taotie says: "Ha, ha, ha! It's good to be back, LOSERS! And this time, there will BE no tricks! Just pure, raw, unfiltered skill, between the THREE of us! Does that sound like FUN, Tigress and Po?!" Tigress' tail and whiskers twitch, and she angrily says: "Ooh, it's on like DONKEY KONG!" (Confessional) Taotie says: "I knew that would get under her skin!" / Tigress says: "I've been waiting a LONG time to get back at Taotie! And now, my window of opportunity has just opened! I'm going in!" / Po says: "Wherever Tigress goes, I go to! We're going to deal with Taotie, and take him to prison, where he belongs!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Everyone has an animal partner, and we've got to take a break! But when we come back, we're going to get to the real meat of this challenge, and determine a winner, on our current episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" Marlene says: "It's going to be awesome!" Private laughs, and he says: "I was wondering when YOU were going to show up!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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I...cannot BELIEVE it took me more than a year to get back to writing this episode! I actually wanted to write it down sooner, but life kept getting in the way. So, I apologize for the delay. I'll write down this part of the episode segment, and hopefully, it won't take me ANOTHER full year to write down another episode! Here's the second and final part of the "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back" episode, "Beasts Of Burden!" (Dedicated to Charlie Watts) / The commercials finally end, and Sniz says: "Okay, everybody! It's time to discuss what you all need to know!" Tigress snarkily says: "Why it ALWAYS feels like it takes so LONG to get BACK to the action whenever you NEED to take a commercial break?!" Fondue rolls his eyes and says: "BESIDES that!" Sniz says: "I told you that letting the Anti-Fairies handle our airing schedule would be a bad idea, AND as usual, you NEVER listen to the smart guy!" Taotie says: "Maybe he WOULD if you EVER said anything smart to BEGIN with!" General Barracuda snaps: "Now YOU shut your SNOUT! You're lucky that YOU'RE even here in the first place! We originally wanted Oonski to come back, and YOU only got to come back because he said, 'No'!" Taotie asks: "I wasn't the FIRST choice?!" Marlene scoffs, and says: "PLEASE! You were BARELY your wife's SECOND choice!" And Taotie fumes at that statement! (Confessional) Taotie says: "Honestly, I'm tired of everyone always demeaning me! It's getting on my nerves! Luckily for me, I've got a plan cooked up with Anti-Cosmo, that will MAKE them respect me, ONCE and for all!" / General Barracuda says: "My superior or not, NOBODY disrespects Sniz when I'm around, especially NOT some snot-nosed, third rate Big Bad Wannabe! If Taotie wants to try to prove that he's eviler than thou, he's going to be in for a WORLD of hurt!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Ignoring that LAST tangent, here is how the challenge is going to work."

Private says: "Finally, we can devise a plan of action!" Sniz says: "Each contestant and partner set, will be taking a different route across the island, to the other side of the island at the finish line. And to make sure you DON'T take any shortcuts, each contestant must pick up ten small orbs along the way. They will be colored white for Po, blue for Jenny, green for Bubble Bass, and black for Private. They will have the faces of the contestants you've outlasted in this competition. Bring all your orbs to the finish line, in order to ensure your immunity at the elimination ceremony tonight. The other contestants will have to face off against each other, as they try to vote someone else off. After tonight, three of you will be one step closer to winning $1.4 million in cold, hard cash!" Anti-Cosmo chuckles evilly, and telepathically communicates: "That doesn't SOUND challenging enough to me!" Patrick asks: "Does this guy EVER get tired of trying to bug you, Bubble Bass?" Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "Not from MY personal experience he hasn't!" Anti-Cosmo appears in a swirl of black and purple lights, and turns the sky all dark and gloomy! Anti-Cosmo says: "Impressed by my impressive entrance?" Jenny says: "Anti-Cosmo! I didn't think YOU would be bold enough to appear in front of us again! Well, THAT mistake will BE your LAST! I'm armed and ready to take you DOWN!" Anti-Cosmo dryly says: "Oh, I'm very WELL aware of what you WANT to do to me! However, I predict that you won't lay a robotic finger on me." Chameleon asks: "Oh, and why is that?" Anti-Cosmo answers: "A little something I like to call, 'Protection Insurance'!" And Anti-Cosmo raises his wand, and a COLOSSAL giant machine appears around Taotie, Snaptrap appears, and is armored in 1987 "Robocop" armor, Spongebob's Abrasive side appears, on top of a giant version of Doodlebob, and Professor Blowhole appears, in a completely tricked out airship with all the modern AND futuristic weapons one can think of! Anti-Cosmo says: "Behold! Your four most PERSONAL enemies are BACK for revenge against you! Come on! You MUST admit that you're impressed!" Tigress says: "PLEASE!!!! I'm NOT impressed! You're SO predictable!" Anti-Cosmo sputters, and he says: "Predictable? PREDICTABLE?! You call THAT predictable?!" Tigress says: "Taotie in a machine? I was thinking about it just this morning."

Anti-Cosmo asks: "And Professor Blowhole?!" Tigress says: "Seen it!" Anti-Cosmo asks: "Snaptrap?!" Tigress says: "Tacky!" Anti-Cosmo asks: "Abrasive Side and Doodlebob?!" Tigress says: "Garish!" Tigress than pauses, and says: "The spider's new, though." Anti-Cosmo asks: "The spider?!" And he inexplicably sees a black spider dangling in front of Tigress! Anti-Cosmo maliciously says: "Oh, YES! The SPEE-IDER!!!! Even just ONE bite from Arachnicus Deathicus will result in instant--!" And Tigress blows the spider into Anti-Cosmo's face, and he screams: "AHHH!!!! GET IT OFF!!!! GET IT OFF!!!! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT--!" And Snaptrap PUNCHES Anti-Cosmo's face to kill the spider, and Tigress enunciates: "Pre-dict-a-ble!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Regardless, YOU are going to fight them, and YOU will not survive!" Tigress scoffs, and says: "PLEASE! I'm going to thrash ALL of them in thirty minutes, and kick butt like I ALWAYS do!" Po nervously says: "Tigress! Remember that LITTLE talk we had about NOT tempting fate and underestimating your opponents?!" Tigress says: "Maybe I WOULD remember IF there were any ACTUAL opponents to worry about! But since there's just Taotie, I'll start with HIM!" General Barracuda says: "And I'll handle the REST! Anti-Cosmo! You can HUMILIATE my son! You can make LIFE miserable for him!" Bubble Bass asks: "And this helps me HOW?!" General Barracuda says: "Well, he already HAS at least ATTEMPTED to do so, there's no denying that! But Anti-Cosmo, when you mess with ALL the contestant's you MESS with me! It's time to fight, fisticuffs! Unless you KNOW that you can't hack it! In which case, surrender NOW, and I'll go EASY on you!" Anti-Cosmo maliciously chuckles, and says: "You STILL don't GET what my entire POINT has been this season, have you?!" Spongebob says: "Well, I THOUGHT we did, right up until YOU chuckled like that; and now, I'm starting to get a little worried!" Bubble Bass says: "And you KNOW things are bad when HE worries, because he almost NEVER worries!" Anti-Cosmo says: "You see, for the longest time, we Anti-Fairies were the ones who ENSURED that Master Coelaceanth STAYED in his evil power! We supplied him with electrical powers! We provided him with the ability to breathe air and live forever. And just HOW do you repay such MAGNIFICENT training in EVIL, General Barracuda? You FAILED him on a daily basis, you outright betrayed him and humiliated Master Coelaceanth's hired help, but on TOP of all that, you THREW Master Coelaceanth down a mountain, where he got BEHEADED by Oonski The Great!"

Bubble Bass asks: "And THAT'S WHY you WANTED ME to become a villain?! Just to get BACK at my dad?!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Honestly, no. The fact that you turned OUT to be Horatio Barracuda II, was just a happy little coincidence for me. No, the reason I've been doing ALL of this, was to generate enough dark Anti-Fairy power, to TRULY bring Master Coelaceanth BACK to life!" General Barracuda says: "Spoiler alert, he already TRIED that stunt LAST season, and he was defeated by Keswick!" Anti-Cosmo says: "I know. I've been in touch with Master Coelaceanth. He's been stuck in the netherworld with all the ghosts that Danny Phantom has trapped throughout the years. Spoiler alert, it is LITERALLY Hell! I arranged for Danny Fenton's powers to malfunction, and put a dark spell on this island, to speed up the process of gathering the energy NEEDED for the SUCCESSFUL revival of Master Coelaceanth! I had HOPED to be able to stop ALL of you myself, but SINCE you insist on being SO resilient and unwilling to see things MY way, I'll have to bring out my ACE in the hole!" General Barracuda says: "You're crazy! You can't trust Master Coelaceanth! If he gets what he wants, once YOU'RE no longer of any use to him, he'll dispose of you!" Anti-Cosmo creepily says: "Oh, I'm FAR beyond caring about my OWN safety! I could care LESS what happens to me, and more what happens to you! I want to get rid of you SO much, I'm WILLING to let my OWN HEALTH and SAFETY be HURT, JUST to HURT YOU in the WORST WAY possible! So, get a trick of THIS, my GREATEST TRICK OF ALL!!!!" And Anti-Cosmo raises his wand, and a bolt of purple lightning shoots out of it, than all of Anti-Cosmo's magic suddenly disappears! Anti-Cosmo says: "What?! Out of power?! I can't be out of power! I STILL have a magical power of over 9,000 left! What gives?!" Wanda poofs in, and says: "I pulled the plug to your little operation!" Anti-Cosmo says: "YOU can't do THAT!" Sniz chuckles, and he says: "Oh, YES, she can! Thanks to the authorization clause I INCLUDED in your contract with us! It says, and I quote: 'The party of the undersigned, signed below, clearly dictates in the event that they knowingly, and willingly endanger the lives of the contestants on a repeated basis, and violate these terms three times, will have their authority to use magic, immediately revoked, and replaced by the most immediate available second party, referred within. Signed, Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof'. Unquote."

Anti-Cosmo screams: "CURSE YOU FINE PRINT!!!! Ruining MY life yet AGAIN! Just like being FORCED to have COSMO as my GOOD fairy counterpart!" Wanda sighs and says: "I honestly feel you; but, rules are rules!" Marlene comes in, and she is holding Anti-Poof. She says: "I found the other one! He was hiding in the UNUSED Bathroom Confessional from season one that we don't USE anymore!" Patrick says: "I KNEW IT!" Tigress says: "No, you didn't!" Patrick says: "Okay, fine! I just don't GET the opportunity to SAY that often, all right?!" Tigress shrugs her shoulders, and says: "Fair enough." Anti-Poof says: "I HAD to hide in that stinky place! Who in their right mind would USE it if they didn't have to?!" Po says: "You jerk! I lost all my CLOTHES because of you!" Anti-Poof says: "If I STILL had my magic..." Sniz says: "Well, the fact is, you DON'T! So, Jenny, blast them away!" Jenny says: "Where to?" Sniz says: "Oh, I'd say aim your trajectory for the city of The Casagrandes. A little time around THERE ought to chill them out!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Not a spin-off! NOT a spin-off! ANYTHING but a spin-off!" Fondue says: "Be thankful he's NOT making it The Patrick Star Show!" Anti-Poof says: "I'd rather us wind up THERE than where WE'RE going to--." (BOOM!!!!) Anti-Poof screams: "LAND!!!!" And Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof zoom out of sight! Jenny says: "My, GOSH! That felt good!" Sniz says: "So, with THAT out of the way we can get back to the challenge, and--." Marlene says: "The challenge is already won!" Fondue asks: "What?! How?!" Wanda says: "Finish line monitor, sir!" She waves her wand, and a T.V. screen appears, showing Private, riding Chameleon who is currently transformed into an electric car. Private is waving all ten orbs, indicating that he has won the challenge! Tigress is genuinely stunned, and she says: "I don't believe it." Bubble Bass says: "That is WHY you lost!" Sniz says: "No rule against Chameleon changing into a fast vehicle, so Private can finish the challenge faster. Advantage, Private!" Taotie screams: "Have you FORGOTTEN about us?! Or do we need to pound you?!" Tigress says: "You're totally a non-issue! Bubble Bass, Doodlebob!" Bubble Bass says: "On it!" And Bubble Bass uses his bubble powers to wash away Doodlebob, scrubbing him away into nothingness, and trapping Spongebob's Abrasive Side into a bubble, and kicking him far away! Bubble Bass says: "And THIS time, DON'T come back!" Spongebob's Abrasive Side futilely screams: "REVENGE!!!! As he sails out of sight!

Patrick asks: "Is he gone for GOOD this time?" Marlene says: "It all depends!" Spongebob says: "On his will to survive?" Sniz says: "No! Toy sales! If his toys sell well, he'll come back from parts unknown in season five!" General Barracuda says: "At least we're HONEST about it!" Tigress says: "Jenny, electric shock!" Jenny says: "Pleasure!" And she zaps Snaptrap, electrifying him out of the 1987 "Robocop" armor! Tigress grabs the "Robocop" armor, and she says: "And now YOU, Taotie!" Taotie screams: "CURSE YOU TIGRESS!!!!" And she fires ALL of the "Robocop" weaponry at Taotie's machine, not stopping until it is completely destroyed and explodes!!!! After the smoke clears, Po shouts: "WHOO!!!! Best fight EVER!!!!" Tigress chuckles and she says: "Make that, BEST sight ever! I think you lost your apron!" Fondue asks: "Sniz, is THAT going to be a problem?" Sniz says: "If Patrick's Dad in The Patrick Star Show can appear naked, so can Po." Marlene asks: "Was THAT the bar we were WAITING for?!" Wally says: "Hey, at least WE have a bar!" Po says: "And I got to admit it feels so good! Nothing like feeling the breeze!" Patrick says: "I know how THAT feels!" Sniz says: "So, not the episode I envisioned, but Private HAS won the challenge and has immunity! You three contestants, are on the chopping block! Make your decisions, and I will see you at the Elimination Ceremony, tonight!" General Barracuda says: "I don't say this enough, but I'm proud of the way you've handled yourself this season, son. You've done so much, and mostly WITHOUT my help! It makes me glad you're carrying on the name of Barracuda!" Bubble Bass says: "Thanks, dad. And Wanda?" Wanda asks: "What is it?" Bubble Bass says: "About Master Coelaceanth. Now, did you manage to turn OFF the magic from the Anti-Fairy world, BEFORE Anti-Cosmo's wish COULD resurrect Master Coelaceanth's body?!" Wanda gets an Anime sweat drop, and she worriedly says: "I'm afraid I currently have no way of knowing." / The scene cuts to the foot of Mount Snizmore, and a purple lightning bolt shoots down and hits the ground where a make-shift grave has been made, with a tombstone reading, "Here Lies Master Coelaceanth". And the tune of "In The Hall of The Mountain King" plays while this is going on! When the lightning bolt hits the ground at the tombstone, it appears that ALL of Master Coelaceanth is RISING out of the ground! And Master Coelaceanth sticks his SLIGHTLY un-dead head out of the ground and he yells: "I'M ALIVE AGAIN!!!! MWA, HA, HA...!" Than he notices SOMETHING is off, because his HEAD isn't moving, and the REST of his zombie body is wandering around!

Master Coelaceanth says: "CRUD!!!! Forgot about Oonski's AX!!!! HEY! THE REST OF ME!!!! I'm OVER HERE!!!!" But of course, since the rest of Master Coelaceanth's body doesn't HAVE ears to hear, or eyes to see, it isn't FINDING him, and doesn't even HAVE a mouth to respond! Master Coelaceanth says: "Why couldn't I have lost something inconsequential?! Like my LEFT arm fin?! Come ON, body! I don't have all--OOF!!!!" As Master Coelaceanth's body accidentally steps on his own face, and Master Coelaceanth finishes: "Day!" Master Coelaceanth's body picks up a giant boulder and starts carrying it over to Master Coelaceanth's face, and Master Coelaceanth asks: "What are you doing with that rock?! Wait! No, no, NO!!!!" And Master Coelaceanth's body throws down the rock on Master Coelaceanth's face, and he woozily says: "It's a good thing I'm un-dead; otherwise, I would be in SUCH pain right now!" Thankfully, Master Coelaceanth's body seems to have FINALLY gotten the clue, as it picks up Master Coelaceanth's head, and twists it BACK onto his body, making Master Coelaceanth complete again! Master Coelaceanth says: "Curse my muscle memory! Wanting to KILL Spongebob SO badly! Though, it IS nice to know my body has STILL got it, despite being DEAD so long! And thanks to Anti-Cosmo's magic, I KNOW where all the current contestants currently are. It looks like his spell wasn't strong enough to WISH me alive there! But no matter! I'll make my OWN way there, somehow!" And he starts walking eastward, toward the still far-away Lake Michigan and to the tune of "In The Hall Of The Mountain King", Master Coelaceanth sings: "Going to kill freaking Spongebob; going to kill that freaking Spongebob!" / The scene cuts back to the campground. It is now night-time, and the contestants are all at the camp-fire. Only Tigress is still hanging around. Marlene asks: "Excuse me, why are YOU still here?!" Tigress says: "Why should I bother to leave with all the OTHER losers?! It's obvious I don't NEED to go anywhere! Po has totally GOT this!" General Barracuda says: "If your HEAD were any bigger, you WOULDN'T even be able to FIT through Master Shifu's Temple!" Tigress sarcastically says: "Ho ho, very funny. Ha ha, it IS to laugh!" Sniz says: "You have all cast your votes, and there are only three safe marshmallows left! When I call your name, you will receive a safe marshmallow!"

Tigress says: "And we ALL know who's going to win the FIRST one! Don't tell me! I'm TOO modest!" Private says: "If that's HER definition of 'Modest', imagine what the ANTITHESIS looks like!" Sniz says: "The contestant that does NOT receive a safe marshmallow, must immediately pack their bags, head for the Slingshot of Shame, and be flung out of here! That means you are out of the contest, and you cannot come back, for the remainder of THIS contest!" Tigress says: "STOP teasing the audience, SNIZ! Say Po's name!" Sniz says: "Now, with the formalities out of the way, it's time to reveal the safe contestants! Private! Jenny!" Tigress screams: "WHAT?! This isn't an Elimination Ceremony! It's a FIX! FIX, FIX, FIX!!!!" Bubble Bass asks: "And you're NOT the least CONCERNED about MY safety?!" Tigress screams: "I AM TIGRESS!!!! Po and I DESERVE TO WIN THIS!!!!" Sniz says: "Well, do you know what I say to THAT, Little Miss 'Deserves'?!" Tigress asks: "What?!" Sniz says: "Po lost!" Tigress screams: "WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The sound echoing and managing to make it ALL the WAY to the hotel where Johnny Krill and all the other eliminated contestants are currently staying! Johnny Krill groans and says: "SHEESH! That girl is a SORE loser!" Tigress says: "That is IMPOSSIBLE! BUBBLE BASS, we HAD a DEAL!" Bubble Bass says: "Sorry, couldn't do it. The deal ONLY applied to YOU as a contestant, NOT to your boyfriend! Besides, Private and I made a deal to each other, and that required cutting Po out of the contest, for Po disrespecting Private. In other words, making the same STUPID mistake YOU just made!" Po says: "For the record, that was Anti-Cosmo's FAULT! I never would've said such things out LOUD if it wasn't for Anti-Cosmo's doing!" Private says: "Well, that doesn't change the fact that you DID say it, and since it WAS how you honestly felt, I'm afraid I had to act with an appropriate response to that!" Tigress scoffs says: "Well, at LEAST I STILL have Po, regardless! I guess it's back to the Slingshot Of Shame, again!"

Sniz says: "Only for you!" Tigress asks: "WHAT?! WHY?!" Sniz says: "For two reasons! First, you WERE mean and surly just now!" Wanda says: "And second, Po might be mostly muscle! But there's STILL 776 POUNDS of it! And the most the Slingshot of Shame can handle is 444! Po will be taking the Limo of Shame home!" Sniz says: "And since you OFFERED, you will take the Slingshot of Shame instead!" And General Barracuda grabs Tigress, and gets her fitted with safety gear, and Tigress says: "NO! I want to go with--!" (FLING!!!!) Tigress screams: "PO!!!!" Po asks: "Is she going to be all right?" Sniz says: "Don't worry about it! Cats ALWAYS land on their feet!" And off in the distance, Tigress screams: "OW!!!! My feet!!!!" Sniz chuckles, and says: "That NEVER gets old!" Po says: "Well, I'm satisfied! Good luck, you three! I'll see you at the finale!" And Po gets in the Limo of Shame, and it drives off! Sniz says: "And then there were three. We've come down to Bubble Bass, Jenny X-J9 and Private! Three contestants who have outlasted eleven others! One more contestant will face elimination in the semi-finals round, next time on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" / The scene cuts to far-away again, and Master Coelaceanth has finally made it to a highway. Master Coelaceanth says: "My undead body seems to have lost a little bit of speed, thanks to...being dead! If ONLY I had something FAST to travel in!" And who BUT Tigress should zoom in, land on her feet and screams: "OW!!!! My feet!!!!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Master Tigress!" Tigress says: "You! You're Master Coelaceanth!" Master Coelaceanth bitterly says: "Have you come as an assassin? Here to do General Barracuda's dirty work?" Tigress says: "I could care LESS about General Barracuda! I WANT REVENGE!!!! I give Bubble Bass the training and tips he needed to thrive as a contestant, and he THANKS me by letting PO get ELIMINATED?!!! Has he FORGOTTEN who I AM?!!! I break BRICKS for a living! He is going to PAY for this humiliation!" Master Coelaceanth says: "So, you want to get revenge, as well. It would seem that our goals have a common interest!" Tigress says: "Don't get me wrong! I could care LESS about whether or NOT, YOU get revenge on Spognebob, just so long as I GET to TEACH Bubble Bass his OWN lesson in HUMILIATION!!!! However, bringing YOU along would install a healthy sense of FEAR in him! I'll get you to where the season is taking place!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "And just HOW are you going to do that?!" Tigress chuckles, and says: "Watch, and learn!"

Tigress sticks an unexposed leg out, to lure in a truck, and sure enough, a truck being driven by Gordon Quid, pulls over. Gordon gets out, and he says: "Hey there, charming lass! Is there something I can help you with?" Tigress grabs Gordon by the neck, pulls out a picture of the campsite on the island in Lake Michigan, and she says: "Take me and Master Coelaceanth here!" Gordon defiantly says: "No way!" Master Coelaceanth opens his mouth, revealing the worms and bugs that have made his undead body their home, and Master Coelaceanth screams: "TAKE US!!!!" And he SLAMS his foot on the gas pedal, and they drive off, with Master Coelaceanth singing to the tune of "In The Hall Of The Mountain King": "Going to kill freaking Spongebob; going to kill that freaking Spongebob!" / And the episode ends on an eerie note! / Episode Notes: Po is eliminated in this episode, meaning all the returning contestants from season three (which were only Po and Tigress), have now been eliminated at least twice! Also, all the representatives from "Kung Fu Panda: Legends Of Awesomeness", have now been eliminated. Featured song in this episode: "Beast Of Burden". Anti-Cosmo's reason for his evil is revealed in this episode; he had been working to gather enough energy to revive Master Coelaceanth, a plan that he finally enacted in this episode! While Anti-Cosmo was stopped BEFORE he could transport Master Coelaceanth to the island in Lake Michigan, Master Coelaceanth is now undead, and has now teamed up with Tigress, who BOTH want revenge! First time Private has won a challenge. Eliminated Contestants: 14. Bessie Higgenbottom ("The Mighty B!"); 13. Rico ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"); 12. Katarra ("Avatar: The Last Airbender"); 11. Theodore Seville ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"); 10. Danny Fenton ("Danny Phantom"); 9. Fee ("Harvey Beaks"); 8. Brittany Miller ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"); 7. Johnny Krill ("Spongebob Squarepants"); 6. Tigress ("Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness"); 5. Kowalski ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"). 4. Po ("Kung Fu Panda: Legends Of Awesomeness"). Remaining Contestants: Bubble Bass, Jenny Wakeman, and Private. /

Personal Notes: I guess the reason why it took me as long as I did to write this episode, is that I didn't want to write it, until I could make it as epic as I possibly could. Of course, good episodes take time, and I wanted to be sure I had enough time, to write down the rest of this episode in a single shot! Fortunately, there are only two episodes left in season 4A, so hopefully, they won't take as long to write down. Of course, now that the DREADED Master Coelaceanth has been revived, there's no telling WHAT might happen! / That's it for this episode! Hope to see you again, soon! Enough said, true believers!

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WHAT'S THIS?! It actually took me LESS than a WHOLE week to start writing on the next episode?! Maybe I'm starting to get my efficiency back, knock on wood! (Whatever THAT means!) In any case, it's time for the Penultimate episode of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" Hope you're ready for it! / Sniz is in a dance studio, and he says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, (Clips of the previous episode play throughout), we were down to the Final Four; Po, Jenny, Bubble Bass and Private. Po and Jenny made the BIG mistake of insulting Private's seeming lack of challenge potential right in FRONT of him, unleashing a primal beast that neither of them saw coming! Private made an alliance with Bubble Bass to vote off either Po or Jenny, determined by which contestant won the challenge; but the challenge got interrupted, by none other than Anti-Cosmo! But when Anti-Cosmo threatened to bring the evil Master Coelaceanth back to life, that's when I decided that enough was enough, and I had Wanda, pull the plug on the magic being supplied to the Anti-Fairies. Afterwards, I had Jenny, fling both Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof, out of the game! During the confusion, Private managed to actually WIN the contest in record speed, winning immunity for himself, and ensuring elimination for Po, much to the absolute hatred of Tigress! Unfortunately, Anti-Cosmo's spell managed to hit Master Coelaceanth, and bring him back as an un-dead fish, and who should land close to him, ALSO seeking revenge, except Tigress?! That's right, Tigress was FURIOUS that Po had lost, and took it upon herself to bring Master Coelaceanth to us, by any means necessary! (The Clips End) Wanda, have you been able to pin-point their location yet?" Wanda shakes her head, and says: "Unfortunately, no! I had Jaundissimo look into it, but we haven't been able to lock down where Master Coelaceanth IS, yet! All we know is that, he's still on his way here!" Sniz says: "Well, keep looking! I mean, I'm SURE we'll be able to handle him, but hopefully, we won't have to! Still, better get this place prepared, just in case!" Wanda says: "On it, Sniz!" And Wanda flies away! Sniz says: "While Wanda gets this place secure, we'll move right into our next challenge! There are only three contestants left; Jenny, Private, and Bubble Bass! One more contestant will face elimination, before we move to the last challenge, featuring the Final Two! Who will make it to the end? Find out in a sizzling episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! It's hot!" /

Instead of the normal show open, a collage of all the best dance moves from the previous four seasons play, all to the tune of Whitney Houston's hit song: "I Wanna Dance With Somebody Who Loves Me!" / Whitney sings: "Huh, yeah, woo! Hey yeah, huh! Ooh yeah, uh huh, yeah! I wanna dance! Clock strikes upon the hour, and the sun begins to fade. Still enough time to figure out how to chase my blues away. I've done alright up 'til now. It's the light of day that shows me how! And when the night falls, Loneliness calls. Oh, I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat with somebody! Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody; with somebody who loves me! Oh, I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat with somebody! Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody; with somebody who loves me! I've been in love and lost my senses, spinning through the town. Sooner or later, the fever ends, and I wind up feeling down. I need a man who'll take a chance on a love that burns hot enough to last! So when the night falls, my lonely heart calls. Oh, I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat with somebody! Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody; with somebody who loves me! Oh, I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat! Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody; with somebody who loves me! Somebody who, somebody who; somebody who loves me! Somebody who, somebody who; to hold me in his arms, oh! I need a man who'll take a chance on a love that burns hot enough to last! So when the night falls, my lonely heart calls! Oh, I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat with somebody! Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody; with somebody who loves me! Oh, I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat with somebody! Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody; with somebody who loves me! Oooh, Dance! You know, baby! Dance! Woo, yeah! Dance! Now get with this! Woah! Don't you wanna dance (dance) with me, baby? Don't you wanna dance (dance) with me, boy? Hey, don't you wanna dance (dance) with me, baby?! With somebody who loves me! Don't you wanna dance? Say you wanna dance? Don't you wanna dance? Dance! Don't you wanna dance? Say you wanna dance? Don't you wanna dance? Dance! Don't you wanna dance? Say you wanna dance, uh-huh! Dance! With somebody who loves me! Oooh! Dance! Oooh! Dance! Oooh! Dance!" / And the opening sequence ends! / "Dancing Machine!" /

The show opens up proper, in Bubble Bass' hotel room, where Bubble Bass is taking a shower, and talking to Blonda on speaker phone. Blonda says: "So, what most people DON'T realize is not only DID I ghostwrite Whitney Houston's hit song of "I Wanna Dance With Somebody Who Loves Me", I taught her ALL of the dance moves she used in the music video for that song. Of course, if I had KNOWN the kind of life she was going to have afterwards, I would've advised her against doing some things!" Bubble Bass asks: "What things?" Blonda says: "That, I can't answer; lest I potentially fall victim to slander, which is the LAST thing either of us want!" Bubble Bass says: "Fair enough!" Bubble Bass turns off the shower and dries himself, and Blonda says: "So, how IS your situation working out for you?" Bubble Bass says: "Pretty good! It's AMAZING what you can do, when all you need is bubbles!" And he demonstrates by surrounding himself with bubbles! Blonda says: "I'll admit it's impressive, but you better be prepared for the upcoming challenge!" Bubble Bass says: "Do you know what it's going to be about?" Blonda says: "Even if I did, I wouldn't be allowed to tell you! But in any case, it's the second to last challenge of the season, so it will probably be harder than anything you've faced before! And you're not exactly at an advantage, right now!" Bubble Bass asks: "Why is that?" Blonda says: "You lost the LAST challenge! The only reason YOU'RE still around, is that Private kept HIS end of the deal! There's no telling if he'll do so a SECOND time!" Bubble Bass says: "Private is as worried about Jenny as I am. I trust him enough to keep his word. I've kept mine so far!" Blonda says: "There's something else you need to know." Bubble Bass says: "About how you're doing?" Blonda says: "No, I'm still doing fine. I'm talking about Master Coelaceanth, Anti-Cosmo's spell HIT Master Coelaceanth's body before his magic powers were shut off; he's been brought back as an un-dead fish, and he's heading your way! He wants REVENGE on Spongebob!" Bubble Bass asks: "Why Spongebob?! My DAD was the one who threw him off a cliff, and Oonski the Great was the one who beheaded him!" Blonda says: "Both statements are true, but Master Coelaceanth wants revenge for Dennis! Master Coelaceanth had groomed him, to follow him as successor to his empire, and Spongebob, indirectly or otherwise, was responsible for Dennis' unfortunate demise! Master Coelaceanth wants revenge for THAT! And WORSE; Tigress is HELPING him, to get REVENGE against YOU!"

Bubble Bass sputters, and he asks: "What didn't she GET about OUR partnership?! I made it SPECIFICALLY CLEAR that I was only going to help her as LONG as she was a contestant! I certainly did NOT promise her that I was going to throw my OWN game away, just so Po could win, and satisfy her enormous ego! She might have HELPED me become a better contestant, but that's ALL that's she done! I'm certainly NOT willing to simply ALLOW her to walk all over ME, and anyone ELSE that she wants to! I'm standing up for myself!" Blonda says: "Bubble Bass, lest you forget, Katarra already TRIED that, and Tigress BEAT Katarra without even laying a finger on her! By those standards, you can't win!" Bubble Bass looks at his stash of jewels, and Bubble Bass says: "Maybe I CAN'T win in a physical fight, but there ARE alternatives to fighting! Don't worry about a thing, I've got a plan!" Blonda says: "Good! Take care of yourself!" Bubble Bass says: "You know I will!" And Bubble Bass hangs up! Bubble Bass says: "Wally!" Wally zooms in, and he says: "Admiral Wally, his smartness, reporting for duty, Bubble Bass!" Bubble Bass says: "No need to be so formal! How much weight can a bubble hold?" Wally says: "It depends on how thick you make it!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, how heavy do you think those jewels are?" Wally says: "They're fairly light! Why do you ask?" Bubble Bass says: "Simple! Tigress and Master Coelaceanth MAY want revenge, but they also like WINNING, a LOT! I'm banking on their inability to take losing well, to my advantage!" Wally asks: "How are you going to do that?!" Bubble Bass says: "I simply give them an IMPOSSIBLE choice! They can fight me and PROBABLY win, but they will definitely LOSE all the jewels that I've found, or they can admit that they're NOT the best at everything, and I'll STILL give Tigress a portion of my jewels, but they still CAN'T say that they're the best of everything! In other words; I lose, THEY lose! I don't lose, Tigress gets to walk away $2.4 Million in jewels richer!" Wally asks: "But what about Master Coelaceanth?" Bubble Bass says: "He could be WATCHING us for all we know! We'll just have to improvise when the time comes!" Wally says: "Well, whatever you need, you can count on me! I'd NEVER let my friends down if I can help it!" Bubble Bass says: "I know you will, Wally! I know you will!" (Confessional) Wally says: "Bubble Bass, has helped me feel more comfortable, being the monkey that I am. I'm smart, and I can be a monkey; those two things AREN'T exclusive to overlapping! Besides, I'm happy getting to be with Bubble Bass! Maybe I'll even get to do what I couldn't do LAST season, and be adopted as a son! I mean, I know Blonda is already expecting, but, I could be around to help them out!" /

Bubble Bass says: "Well, I've got one part of my plan set! Now, all that needs to happen, is to see how Tigress and her ego, will react to the situation. I have no idea just what exactly she WANTS to win! She's conflicted, and that's the HARDEST opponent to deal with! I've done what I can do, I just hope Private will be able to back me up! Sure, Jenny has more fire-power, but I'm NOT backing out of my deal with Private now! If there's one thing my dad has taught me, is that once you make a deal, you should always follow through to the end of it! And that's what I'm going to do!" (End Confessional) The camera shifts to Private's Luxury Suite room, where he's eating all the kippers and other assorted fishes that he wants. Private says: "Being a winner has it's advantages! Comfortable bed; all your meals served to you on a silver platter, and your choice of 770 channels to watch from, and NONE of them sports, thankfully! If I win, I'd like to have this sort of life everyday!" And Private hears a knock on his door! Private asks: "Who is it?" Jenny says: "It's me, Jenny! Can I come in?!" Private rolls his eyes, as if he can't BELIEVE what is happening, but he decides to let it go, groans, and says: "FINE!!!!" And Jenny comes in. Jenny says: "Um, I wanted to say 'Thank you', for keeping me and booting off Po, the way you did last night!" Private says: "If you're trying to apologize for the way you viciously shot ME down for wanting to compete against you, than you can FORGET it! Those words HURT, you know! And just because I'm nice, that doesn't mean that I'm going to let those insults slide! Those words were hurtful! Not physical, but STILL emotional! Penguins have feelings TO, you know!" Jenny says: "Come on! That was Anti-Cosmo's fault! I NEVER would've talked like that to you, if Anti-Cosmo hadn't cast his SPELL on me! I'm not LIKE that! I am a hero! Yes, I've made mistakes; but I LEARN from them! I am NEVER going to talk to you like that again!" Private looks at her suspiciously, and says: "I'll wait and see. Actions speak louder than words, you know. But, regardless of WHAT you've said, I've still made a deal with Bubble Bass, and I'm sticking with it! He TREATS me like an ACTUAL opponent, and RESPECTS me! You haven't shown me the same degree of respect that he has!" Jenny says: "I know, and I'm really sorry! So, how about a little forgiveness now?" Private says: "I forgive you for unintentionally insulting me, but I'm STILL not going to go easy on you! This is the second to last challenge! You want to be in the finals, you're going to have to EARN it!"

And Private closes his room to Jenny, and Jenny says: "Gulp!" Unable to ACTUALLY gulp because she is a robot! (Confessional) Jenny says: "It just goes to show how one small mistake, can have lasting repercussions! But to be honest, I certainly had nothing to lose by at least TRYING to apologize! Better to have at least MADE an effort, than to have made none at all! But, seeing as how that offer's been pulled off the table, I have no other option but to do my best! I've made it THIS far by doing so; and I owe it to my mom and friends to keep doing my best for as long as I can! It's time to see just how well I was made! And if I go down, I'm not going down without a fight!" / Private says: "I'm sure Jenny was being sincere, but I can't afford to be weak any longer! Jenny and Po showed me, that they'll walk all OVER anyone they see as weak! I may not like it, but I have to be tough finishing this game if I want any respect from them! I guess what Skipper told me was true; 'That to get respect, it HAS to be earned!' Well, I'm going to EARN it, no matter WHAT it takes!" (End Confessional) The campsite is interrupted, when K.C. And The Sunshine Band's "Boogie Shoes" plays in the background! Over the loud-speakers, Sniz announces: "Attention, contestants! Congratulations on making it to the semi-final round of this competition! Report to the cafeteria, which is now a dance studio! You're next challenge, awaits you there!" Wally says: "A dance studio?! I think I KNOW what you're next challenge is going to be!" Bubble Bass says: "And hopefully, there WON'T be any curve balls like there USUALLY are! But, I guess we'll just have to wait and see!" / The contestants all arrive at the Dance Studio, to see that plenty of room has been made, for dancing to occur! Private asks: "A dance studio?! What gives?!" Sniz says: "First off, allow me to extend my respect and admiration for the three of you! In my wildest dreams, I didn't expect the Final Three to boil down to the three of you! Well, ONE of you was always in it, but I'll decline answering who it is, out of the respect of the other two players!" Jenny says: "I already KNOW you're talking about ME; there's no other LOGICAL choice as to who it could be!" Marlene scoffs and sarcastically says: "Way to endear yourself to the other players! Even I didn't sound THAT conceited during MY two seasons!" Sniz says: "Thank you, Marlene! In any case, you've made it past eleven other contestants; and now, the time has come to find out, which one of you two, gets to go to the Finals, and I would recommend against saying that it will BE yourself, personally, lest you jinx yourself!"

Wally says: "Even I would NEVER try to do something like THAT, unlike Tigress!" Private asks: "Why would you say THAT?!" Wally says: "Because Tigress is WITH Master Coelaceanth, and they are on their way here! And when Tigress gets here, it WON'T be pretty!" And Private gulps nervously! (Confessional) Private says: "Just MY luck! It figures! As soon as I FINALLY find MY inner toughness; Tigress is threatening to come back, break it, chew it up, spit it out, step on it, and shove it into a shredder and LAUGH about it! But if I back down NOW, than Tigress will NEVER let me live it down! I've GOT to stick it out! If not for MY sake, than for the sake of Rico and Kowalski! I'm doing this for them!" / Wally says: "Frankly, I don't envy ANYONE who has to deal with Master Coelaceanth! Bad enough when he was fully alive! But un-dead? I'm certainly not sure how THAT'S going to turn out! I'd suggest to cut off his head; but seeing as how THAT'S how Master Coelaceanth is un-dead to begin with, I don't think that's going to work a second time! I sure hope Bubble Bass has an idea on how to deal with him, cause even I, a smart Admiral, can't think of a way to deal with him!" / Bubble Bass says: "Truthfully, I have thought of a way to deal with him, but I can't talk about it; or Master Coelaceanth could overhear and find a way to counter it! So I have to keep the plan to myself for now! I'm sure it will work regardless; but an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "As you can see, the cafeteria is temporarily a dance studio, and your challenge will be as follows! Each of you must come up with a song, and your own dance to go along with it! I will be judging you, along with two former contestants!" General Barracuda asks: "And who would those two former contestants be?" And as if on cue, the door flies open, and Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce are standing in the door-way! Sway-Sway says: "What up?! Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce are in the house!--Er, Dance Studio!" Buhdeuce says: "We are here to judge your dance moves!" Fondue asks: "Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce? That's who you went with?" Sniz says: "It was either THEM, or the cast of 'It's Pony!' And, let's be honest; it would be WAY too embarrassing to have a show that lasted only ONE season, as guest judges for this contest!" Wally says: "I'm not sure how to feel about THAT particular comment!" Sniz says: "In any case, we'll be judging your dance moves, on a scale from 1 to 10. So, whoever scores higher, does better! And whoever scores the highest, wins!"

Jenny asks: "And what's the catch THIS time?!" Sniz says: "There's no catch! Why do you ALWAYS assume there is a catch?!" Private says: "Because there usually IS?!" Sniz says: "Ordinarily, yes! However, with Master Coelaceanth and Tigress on their way here, we figured you had ENOUGH to worry about, without adding any CATCH on top of it!" Bubble Bass says: "How refreshingly LUCKY for us!" Sniz says: "So, you have one hour to think of a dance move, and report back here!" Wanda asks: "Why an hour?" Sniz says: "That will give you Fairies time, to hopefully FIND Master Coelaceanth, and give our sponsors some much needed ad-time! Our show doesn't pay for itself, you know!" Marlene says: "Unless you count the merchandise! My toys sell like hot-cakes!" Sniz says: "In any case, be prepared! Because when you come back, we will get the dancing challenge underway; on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! That is all!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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Surprise, surprise, I tempted fate (again), in regards to trying to finish this episode. But I'm going to power through this second and final part of "Dancing Machine", and get to work on brainstorming the finale! I hope you like reading this, as much as I did writing it! / After the commercials end, we focus on Marlene, who is in the dance studio with Private! Marlene says: "Welcome back to Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! The ONLY cartoon show where it feels like as a season takes as LONG to finish as season 12 for Spongebob Squarepants!" Fondue rolls his eyes and sarcastically says: "Wow. Way to REALLY set up the self-depreciation there." Marlene says: "Well, if I DON'T do it, heaven knows someone ELSE probably would, and it probably wouldn't be pretty!" Fondue THINKS about it and says: "Fair enough." Marlene says: "I'm here to see how Private is getting ready for the dancing challenge! Private, what 'Steps', are you taking towards preparing for this challenge?" Private says: "Oh, I see what you did there! Anyways, I thought it would be good research by looking at various old dancing movies like Singing In The Rain, Grease, In The Heights, and both versions of West Side Story!" Marlene looks puzzled, and asks: "Wait! Are we allowed to NAME drop those movies?" Sniz says: "Since both he and we aren't planning on making any money off of them, than yes, he can." Marlene says: "Good! Than I don't have to prepare for a lawsuit! Heaven knows HOW we haven't had to face ANOTHER one since that AANG incident two seasons back!" Sniz says: "You said it!" Marlene says: "Anyways, getting back on track, do you think this research has helped make you a better dancer?" Private says: "Of course! But don't you think you ought to check in on the other contestants and see how THEY'RE doing?" Marlene asks: "You mean JENNY?! Well, I could, but...I don't feel like doing it!"

General Barracuda says: "Wow! And I thought I was the master of not even bothering with an excuse!" Marlene says: "Can you blame me? All she does, revolves around LITERALLY downloading a dance program into her database." Private says: "You mean she FIGURATIVELY..." Marlene yells: "She LITERALLY downloads a dance program into her database! Why would I make that up?!" Private THINKS about it, and says: "I...totally don't have a response for that." Sniz says: "Don't worry about it, nobody ever does." Private asks: "And what about Bubble Bass?" General Barracuda says: "Oh, I already checked THAT out! My son was dancing along to a Paula Abdul music video!" Private asks: "Which one?" General Barracuda says: "Don't worry, we've already filmed it!" /

And General Barracuda turns on an HDTV, and previously recorded footage of Bubble Bass dancing along to Paula Abdul's music video "Cold Hearted" is shown. Paula Abdul sings: "He's a cold-hearted snake, look into his eyes. He's been tellin' lies. He's a lover boy at play. He don't play by rules. Girl, don't play the fool now. You're the one givin' up the love, anytime he needs it. But you turn your back and then he's off and runnin' with the crowd. You're the one to sacrifice, anything to please him. Do you really think he thinks about you when he's out? He's a cold-hearted snake! Look into his eyes, he's been tellin' lies. He's a lover boy at play, he don't play by rules. Girl, don't play the fool now. It was only late last night, he was out there sneakin'. Then he called you up to check that you were waiting by the phone. All the world's a candy store; he's been trick or treatin'. When it comes to true love, girl; with him, there's no one home. He's a cold-hearted snake! Look into his eyes. He's been tellin' lies. He's a lover boy at play. He don't play by rules. Girl, don't play the fool now. (Musical Break) You could find somebody better, girl. He could only make you cry. You deserve somebody better, girl. Let me tell you, he's as cold as ice. He's cold as ice. He's cold as ice. Stay away from him, girl! Cold-hearted, Cold-hearted snake! Cold-hearted, Cold-hearted snake! He's a cold-hearted snake! Look into his eyes! He's been tellin' lies! He's a lover boy at play, he don't play by rules! Girl, don't play the fool! Look into his eyes! He's been tellin' lies! He don't play by rules! Girl, don't play the fool! He's a cold-hearted snake! Look into his eyes! He's been tellin' lies! He's a lover boy at play, he don't play by rules! Girl, don't play the fool! He's a cold-hearted snake, look into his eyes! He's been tellin' lies! He's a lover boy at play!" And the epic music video and dance footage ends. /

Private says: "Wow! Bubble Bass really HAS been practicing! I guess that means I better bring my A game...even though so far, all I've seen THIS season is everyone else giving their B game!" Fondue says: "Look on the bright side; on the off chance you don't win THIS half of a season, you're sure to see everyone else bring their A game for the next half of the season!" Private says: "Right! What I really want to know is, what are Tigress and Master Coelaceanth doing right now? It's been quite a while since anybody has heard from them!" Sniz hears chattering in his ear-piece, and he says: "Hold everything! Cosmo just got a lock on them! They've been traveling eastbound towards this location, and they're currently at a gas station in...Madison, Wisconsin?! What are they doing in Madison, Wisconsin?!" General Barracuda says: "Well, if I WERE Tigress, and I'm SO glad I'm NOT, it would be getting a much needed attitude adjustment!" Sniz says: "Cosmo says he can patch us in through his camera feed! Let's watch and see!" /

They switch the HDTV to Cosmo's live feed. Out of Gordon's commandeered big red truck, Tigress steps out, smells the air, and says: "I LOVE the smell of gasoline in the morning! It smells like VICTORY...AND REVENGE!!!!" From the back of the truck, Master Coelaceanth growls: "How come YOU get to walk around in the open while I SUFFOCATE in the back like a common ANIMAL?!" Tigress says: "Hey! It's not MY fault you're currently an undead walking corpse! If you wanted to NOT attract attention, you wouldn't have gotten yourself KILLED!" Master Coelaceanth says: "It's hard to NOT get killed when someone takes a FREAKING battle axe to your neck! The only GOOD things about being undead, is that I can't feel ANY pain in my neck, and I don't need to go to the bathroom, or eat or sleep like YOU two do!" Tigress says: "Hey! Even if I DIDN'T need to do those things, we'd STILL need to put gas in this truck! Besides, we'll get to the island soon enough! Just follow MY orders, and everything will work out perfectly!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "YOUR orders?! I'm the one who's getting REVENGE against Spongebob, and don't you DARE forget it!" Tigress asks: "Well, why should YOU get revenge?! Why do YOU even hate Spongebob in the FIRST place?! At least SQUIDWARD has valid reasons!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, for starters, he humiliated ALL of my men INCLUDING General Barracuda, turned HIM against me, THWARTED Trakeena's, Mesogog's, and Master Shen's attempts to DESTROY him! And let's not forget, he has the MOST annoying laugh in the HISTORY of EVER!!!! I can't wait to GRAB that sponge and BREAK him into pieces!" Tigress rolls her eyes, and says: "DON'T give me your pathetic CRAP!!!! If ANYBODY deserves to get THEIR revenge, it's GOING to be ME! And you BETTER remember that, or SO help me, I'll cut you into FISH Sticks and feed you to the dogs; INCLUDING Captain Retro! Pretty hard to get revenge if you're digested, and good luck coming back from THAT!" Master Coelaceanth groans, and he says: "Fine! You can HAVE your little revenge! It really doesn't make a difference to me WHO breaks Spongebob, just so long as he's broken!" Tigress smirks, and she says: "I knew you'd see it MY way!"

Gordon says: "Um, not to interrupt what I'm sure is an ENGAGING conversation, but, you two have taken MY vehicle over a THOUSAND miles off course! You're putting a MAJOR cramp in my job with my truck company!" Tigress says: "Oh, I'm sorry! I think you're mistaking ME for someone who actually CARES about whatever STUPID product you're delivering! Which, unless they're 80 TON barbells for me to lift, than SPOILER ALERT, NO ONE CARES!!!! Now, you can either pointlessly try to pick a fight with me and end up as a PINCUSHION should I ever decide to take up sewing! Or, you can cooperate with me and receive a very valuable autograph of me worth $10 million on any memorabilia of me of your choice!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Do you REALLY think your autograph is worth $10 million?" Tigress says: "I'm sure SOMEBODY thinks it's worth $10 million!" Cosmo forgets himself, and he says: "I sure do! Will you please autograph my shirt?!" Tigress looks at him, and she sputters: "What the FREAK is THAT?! A CAMERA?!!!" She runs for Cosmo and punches his LIGHTS out, than she grabs the camera, and she says: "Word of advice, FONDUE! You send ANYBODY else AFTER us; and they're going to WISH they were DEAD!!!!" (POW!!!!) / And the footage cuts to static, and Sniz says: "That's it, we've lost the feed!" Fondue says: "No way we can risk doing a stunt like THAT again!" Sniz says: "And besides, we've got more important things to think about! It's time for the dance challenge!" /

The footage changes to the dance studio, now decked out in official competition settings, with a built in audience to view the dance challenge. Marlene says: "Gentlemen and robot built like a teenage woman, you are here because out of 14 contestants, you have SOMEHOW managed to be the best of the best this season! BOY, did I really blow it by not being a contestant THIS season! Anyways, the point is, that only ONE of you can win this challenge! Just one! We will judge your dance skills on an official zero to ten scale, with ten being the best. Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce will be helping me out in that regard!" Bubble Bass asks: "And what makes THEM qualified to be dancing judges?" Sway-Sway says: "Simple; we DANCE!" Buhdeuce says: "And we are SO good at it!" Bubble Bass says: "Dancing? Yes. Good? THAT'S...HIGHLY debatable!" Buhdeuce rolls his eyes, and says: "EVERYONE'S a critic!" Sway-Sway says: "You said it!" Marlene says: "Anyways, your order has randomly selected. Private, you will be going first. Are you ready?" Private says: "As ready as I'll ever be! This one's for YOU, Marlene!" (Confessional) Marlene says: "Someone remind me, WHY did I marry LEEROY JENKINS, AKA, Skipper, AGAIN?! I had my pick of literally ANY man who I could give the time of day to LAST season, and I chose LEEROY JENKINS?! If it weren't for that ANNOYINGLY cute dance of his...well, I guess even I can't make the RIGHT choice ALL the time!" (End Confessional) Private says: "The dance I'm doing is the Hustle! Accompanied by music from...well, The Hustle!" General Barracuda says: "Boy, does THIS song take me back!" / Sure enough, General Barracuda plays the song "The Hustle", as performed by Van McCoy & The Soul City Symphony, and Private dances along accordingly! Van McCoy sings: "Do it! Do it! Do it! Do the Hustle! Do the Hustle! (Instrumental Break) Do the Hustle! Do the Hustle! (Instrumental Break) Do the Hustle! Do it! Do the Hustle! Do the Hustle! (Instrumental Break) Do the Hustle! Do the Hustle! (Instrumental Break) Do the Hustle! Do the Hustle!" And the song and the dance routine ends. /

Sniz, Fondue, and General Barracuda all applaud loudly. Sniz says: "Well, I certainly liked that routine, but it's the opinion of the JUDGES that count! Judges, what say you?" Sway-Sway says: "Personally, I prefer to schwimmy and sway. Oh, why did they need to underline THAT word in the subtitles?! 'Schwimmy' is a perfectly cromulent word! Anyways, I'd give him a 7 out of 10." Marlene says: "I like your outfit! I personally would've preferred more of an ACTUAL song, but I'll take what I can get! I'll give him a 9 out of 10!" Buhdeuce says: "Your moves were sick, dope, phat, slick, and fly!" Sway-Sway says: "Come on! How come none of HIS words got underlined in the subtitles?!" Buhdeuce says: "In other words, your moves were COOL! He gets a 9 out of 10!" Sniz says: "So, Private sets the bar high with 25 out of 30; let's see if Bubble Bass can top that!" Bubble Bass says: "I'd feel a LOT better doing this if YOU were doing the judging, DAD!" General Barracuda says: "Well, you know I can't! That's a form of nepotism! Besides, just remember what I taught you; keep your eyes on the prize, and ALWAYS follow through!" Bubble Bass says: "Follow through! I haven't been given NEARLY enough opportunities so far, but I think I can apply that!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "I've been told that my appearances on any and all Spongebob related media revolve around supply and demand. IF the fans demand to see episodes that include ME in them, THAN the studio will supply them! Hopefully, all this positive development by yours truly, will result in more demand! And whatever they demand of me, I will deliver! It's all about giving the fans what they want!" (End Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "My move will be the Electric Slide, and I will be dancing to Michael Jackson's Billie Jean!" Jenny says: "What?! But you were watching Paula Abdul earlier!" Bubble Bass says: "Hello! Do you think I would DO a dance based on something you've already seen? Of course not! That would give you time to ANALYZE it and perform it better than me! Just TRY to analyze THESE moves in real time! We'll see how good of a processor you've REALLY got!" /

General Barracuda plays a CD, and Bubble Bass BLOWS everyone's mind by NAILING Michael Jackson's dance routine from "Billie Jean," with only a LITTLE help from his bubbles!

Michael Jackson sings: "Well, she was more like a beauty queen, from a movie scene. I said, Don't mind, but what do you mean I am the one who will dance on the floor in the round? She said I am the one who will dance on the floor in the round. She told me her name was Billie Jean, as she caused a scene. Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one who will dance on the floor in the round. People always told me, Be careful of what you do. And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts. And mother always told me, Be careful of who you love. And be careful of what you do, cause the lie becomes the truth. But Billie Jean is not my lover. She's just a girl who claims that I am the one. But the kid is not my son. She says I am the one. But the kid is not my son. Hee-hee-hee. For forty days and for forty nights, law was on her side. But who can stand when she's in demand, with her schemes and plans? Cause we danced on the floor in the round. So take my strong advice. Just remember to always think twice. (Do think twice, do think twice.) She told, My baby, we'd danced 'til three. Then she looked at me. Then showed a photo of a baby crying; said his eyes looked like mine, oh, no! Do a dance on the floor in the round, babe! People always told me, Be careful of what you do. And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts. (Don't break no heart.) But she came and stood right by me, and just the smell of sweet perfume. This happened much too soon, and she called me to her room. But Billie Jean is not my lover. She's just a girl who claims that I am the one. But the kid is not my son! (No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.) Billie Jean is not my lover. She's just a girl who claims that I am the one. But the kid is not my son. She says I am the one. But the kid is not my son. Chee-hee-hee! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! (Musical Break) She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son. No, no, no. Billie Jean is not my lover. She's just a girl who claims that I am the one. But the kid is not my son. (No, no, no, no, no, no, no.) She says I am the one But the kid is not my son; no, no, no. She says I am the one. You know what you did! She says he is my son. Stop breaking my heart, babe! She says I am the one. But Billie Jean is not my lover. Billie Jean is not my lover. Billie Jean is not my lover. She is the one. Billie Jean is not my lover. She is the one. Don't call me Billie Jean. Billie Jean is not my lover. She is the one. She stumbled onto the scene. Billie Jean is not my lover. Billie Jean is not my lover." And the dance routine and the song ends! /

Loud applause erupts from all OVER the room! Sway-Sway says: "Wow! It's been a long time since I've been FLOORED but...I've been FLOORED! 10 out of 10!" Marlene says: "A little bit of a risky choice, for reasons that I can't explain, but I personally liked it! I'll give it a 9 out of 10!" Budeuce says: "Bro, remind ME to invite HIM to our NEXT dance party! He gets a 10 out of 10; WORD!!!!" Sniz says: "And Bubble Bass has unexpectedly bumped the score to beat to be 29 out of 30! Jenny, you'll have to get a perfect 30 JUST to beat Bubble Bass' score!" Jenny says: "Don't worry about me, I've got the PERFECT dance routine! It is called, The Robot!" General Barracuda looks around, but nobody ELSE says anything, so he says: "You know, I'd say something snarky about the OBVIOUSNESS of the joke, but I think it speaks for itself!" Jenny says: "Bird boys, play the Jackson Five's Dancing Machine." Sway-Sway says: "Well, all right, we'll do it. But don't call us bird boys! I have a girlfriend!" Jenny says: "Fair enough!" /

Sway-Sway changes the CD to be The Jackson Five's "Dancing Machine," where Jenny dances much like...well, a robot. The Jackson Five sing: "Dancing, dancing, dancing, she's a dancing machine! Ah, babe! Move it, baby! Automatic Systematic, full of color self contained. Tuned and channeled to your vibes. Captivating Stimulating, she's such a sexy lady. Filled with space age design. She's moving, she's grooving, dancing until the music stop now. Yeah. Rythmetic acrobatic, she's a dynamite attraction. At the drop of a coin she comes alive. Yeah. She knows what she's doing, she's super bad now. She's geared to blow your mind." At this point, to enhance her performance, Jenny turns on her lasers, but because she has her eyes closed while she's dancing, she doesn't see that she's turned her lasers all the way up to ELEVEN, and ends up causing real damage to the studio!) The Jackson Five continue singing: "Dancing, dancing, dancing, she's a dancing machine. Ah, babe. Do it, baby! Dancing, dancing, dancing, she's a dancing machine. Ah, babe. Move it baby. She's a dance, dance, dance, dance, dancing machine. Watch her get down, watch her get down. As she do, do, do her thing, right on the scene. She's a dance, dance, dance, dance, dancing machine. Watch her get down, watch her get down. As she do, do, do her thing, right on the scene. Come on, babe. Come on, babe. Babe! Babe! Shake it, baby! Shake it, babe! Babe! Babe! Babe! I like it! I love you! She's a dance, dance, dance, dance, dancing machine! Watch her get down, watch her get down! As she do, do, do her thing, right on the scene!" / But Jenny stops dancing when Sway-Sway turns OFF the CD player! She opens her eyes and asks: "Hey! Why did you kill the music?! I was just about to go into my big finish!" Fondue says: "If it were up to me, you would BE finished! You WRECKED the dance studio! My beautiful dance studio! Do you KNOW how much it COST us to rent this studio?! $17,000 in American dollars! That's money that COULD'VE gone towards curing AIDS, or Alzheimers! Or...what's that thing Gilbert Gottfried died from?!" Bubble Bass says: "Muscular Dystrophy." Fondue says: "Yeah, that! What do the JUDGES have to say about this?"

Sway-Sway says: "Look, I'm not going to pretend we DON'T have to do things like dodge lasers and stuff back on Pondgea, because we do. But we did NOT sign up for this! Negative ten out of ten, bro!" Marlene says: "Normally, lasers make everything better, not worse! But, there IS always the exception to the rule! Zero out of ten!" Buhdeuce says: "You're SO lucky one of your lasers didn't hit my rump! My lady fans would be DEVASTATED if anything happened to MY rear!" Marlene says: "And by 'Lady fans', he means his mom and POSSIBLY Jelly, Jenny Quackles, and Ketta." Sniz says: "Ignore her!" Buhdeuce says: "Noted! Moving on, I'd give her a negative ten out of ten!" Sniz says: "And with a NEGATIVE 20 out of a positive 30, Jenny totally TANKS the competition!" Jenny groans, and says: "Oh, man! I KNEW I shouldn't have gotten that Spinal Tap upgrade!" Sniz says: "Bubble Bass unexpectedly wins immunity, for the final time in this half of this season! Normally, we'd have an elimination ceremony, but since there are only TWO contestants who can POSSIBLY be eliminated, that means by default, Jenny and Private, your votes for the other contestant would cancel each other out. Therefore, Bubble Bass gets the deciding vote." Private sighs in defeat, and he says: "I understand. I had a good run this season." Bubble Bass says: "Actually, I'm voting off Jenny!" Private says: "What?! But why? She's been a much better competitor than me this season!" Bubble Bass says: "Exactly! Do you know what my chances would be if I faced HER in the Final Two?! Practically non-existent! Whereas against you, I'd actually HAVE a decent chance to win! Besides, I made a promise to you, and I'm going to keep it!" Jenny says: "So that's it? You're just going to vote me off without a second thought?" Bubble Bass says: "Look, I have a very valid reason for voting you off. At least I'm being HONEST about it unlike the way SOME contestants might have lied to you." Jenny says: "At least for THAT much! At least I actually made it to the Final Three! It's not every robot who can say they held their own in a game show challenge!" Sniz says: "And with that, it's time to send the final contestant, to the Slingshot of Shame!" /

The camera switches to outside, where Private and Bubble Bass already have their marshmallows, and are eating them accordingly. Jenny says: "You expect me to get in THAT thing?! You're kidding!" Sniz says: "Sometimes, I do. But NEVER about something that's mandatory like THAT! Besides, you're a robot who can FLY! You can slow DOWN your descent!" Jenny groans, and she says: "Fine! I'll do it!" And she gets into the Slingshot of Shame! Sniz says: "Anyways, you know how I hate long good-byes." Jenny says: "No, you don't!" Sniz says: "Ordinarily, I don't! But, we've got a Final Two to prepare so, see you later, alligator!" (SPROING!) Jenny says: "1954, Bill Haley and the Comets!" And she sails out of sight! Sniz says: "And then there two! Somehow, against all odds, the Final Two this season, are Bubble Bass and Private! What kind of a Final Two can we expect?!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh, I'M the brains! He's the...other brains!" Private says: "Seriously?!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, it's the best I could think of on such short notice!" Wally says: "Personally, I think it's cool! I'm so GLAD you made it to the Final Two, Bubble Bass!" Bubble Bass says: "Thank you for your vote of confidence, Wally!" Sniz says: "And there you have it! The Final Two this season is Brains Vs. the...other brains. And the world is a POORER place for it! Anyways, see how we wind up this half of season four! Will it be Bubble Bass?! Or Private?! Stay tuned for the half-season finale, next time on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Your support will be greatly welcomed!" /

Episode Notes: With Jenny Wakeman's elimination, all the contestants representing "My Life As A Teenage Robot" which was just her, have now been eliminated. Featured songs in this episode were "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston, "Cold Hearted" by Paula Abdul, "The Hustle by Van McCoy and the Soul City Symphony, "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson, and "Dancing Machine" by The Jackson Five. Eliminated Contestants: 14. Bessie Higgenbottom ("The Mighty B!"); 13. Rico ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"); 12. Katarra ("Avatar: The Last Airbender"); 11. Theodore Seville ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"); 10. Danny Fenton ("Danny Phantom"); 9. Fee ("Harvey Beaks"); 8. Brittany Miller ("Alvinnn!!! And The Chipmunks"); 7. Johnny Krill ("Spongebob Squarepants"); 6. Tigress ("Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness"); 5. Kowalski ("The Penguins Of Madagascar"); 4. Po ("Kung Fu Panda: Legends Of Awesomeness"); 3. Jenny Wakeman ("My Life As A Teenage Robot"). Final Two: Bubble Bass "The Brains", and Private "The Other Brains". /

Personal Notes: I think a major reason why it's taken me so long to finish this half of a season, is that as usual, I've taken criticisms of my work too personally. But, I have been working on trying to control and tame my Ego. Honestly, if it weren't for my Ego, most of the problems in season three probably could've been avoided. Of course, if I hadn't have made THOSE mistakes, I might not have learned from them and become a better writer for it. Anyways, I hope that learning how to not take criticisms personally, will help me write a finale people can be proud of! I don't plan to disappoint, so I'll see you when I see you! Enough said, true believers!

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Here we are, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for, it's time for the half season finale, for this show, with a TWIST! For the first time ever, there are TWO endings! You'll first see the non-canon ending to this season, than you'll see the canon ending to this season! So strap yourselves in for an exciting ride! / The camera opens up in the camera monitor room, only to show Marlene instead of Sniz, Fondue, or General Barracuda. Marlene says: "Hmmm, I guess I'M the one doing the show introduction this time! Over this first half of season four, you have witnessed twelve contestants; Bessie Higgenbottom, Brittany Miller, Rico, Katarra, Theodore Seville, Danny Fenton, Fee, Johnny Krill, Tigress, Kowalski, Po, and Jenny Wakeman, lose to the combined intelectual minds of Bubble Bass and Private! Despite being called 'The Brains' and 'The Other Brains', these two contestants have played vastly different games! Bubble Bass has focused on crafting strategies, plans, and an alliance to help him get to where he is, while Private has focused on the social aspect of this game, trying to be friendly with everyone, and keeping a charming personality while doing it. These two different strategies have brought the two of them to the Final Two, but only ONE of them can walk away with the $1.4 Million Grand Prize! It's time to find out who will emerge the winner, in the half-season finale, for Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! I can't WAIT to see how it unfolds!" / "Brains Vs. The Other Brains: The Intellectual Showdown!" /

The camera opens up to show Sniz, in the middle of a giant arena, filled with a lot of audience members, but most NOTABLY, the previously eliminated contestants from this season (except Tigress), and Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward. Sniz says: "Well, we neede to wait X amount of time for this to happen, but at long last, it's going to happen! The Final Two is going to come down to Bubble Bass and Private, Brains Vs. The Other Brains! But before our contestants come out here, we've asked them to make one final Confessional, to reveal their thought process, on how they expect the final challenge to play out! (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "If anyone asked me if I expected to make it to the Final Two based only on my wits and LITERALLY nothing else, I would've told them they were CRAZY! But somehow, even with just BUBBLES, I managed to make it past twelve other contestants! I mean, I know a LITTLE bit of luck had to be involved, but it certainly couldn't have been ALL luck! Unless you're Orlando Bloom, NOBODY'S luck is THAT good! But, I've made it THIS far! Now it's time to see if I can go ALL the way! My only concern is the social aspect of the game. Private definitely has it over me in the popularity department! How HE managed to be born with an ACTUAL British accent, I'll probably never know! But in any other department, I probably have the edge over him! Still, it pays to expect the unexpected, so I'm not holding my breath; even though I'm a fish and have gills!" /

Private says: "Initially, I thought I was here to support Rico and Kowalski in their quest to win a season of this game. But when Rico got taken out so early, I knew I had to step up to the plate! And not just for me, but for Kowalski's sake! And despite so many odds being against me, I exceeded the expectations that twelve other contestants had of me, and made it to the Final Two! There's no doubt that when it comes to the social aspect of this game, I've got it in the bag! But, seeing the way this season has been so far, I seriously doubt it's going to come down to the social aspect! And Bubble Bass, in spite of not starting with much in terms of physical prowess, actually HAS stepped up to the plate and proven more capable of holding his own in challenges! So, I'm going to have to play with everything I have in this final challenge! It's my best chance of proving that I have what it takes to be a REAL penguin commando!" (End Confessional) The two contestants step out onto the arena, from opposite sides, to thunderous applause! Sniz says: "Welcome to the battle of the BRAINY bulge! The thriller at cerebellum! The meeting of the minds! The throwdown at think town! Did I miss anything?" Wanda says: "No, I think you got them all!" Sniz says: "Private, Bubble Bass, you know out of all the contestants that came here, I NEVER would've expected EITHER of you to make it to the Final Two! BUT, seeing as how you're both here, we'll simply have to make the best of things!" Bubble Bass asks: "What is THAT supposed to mean?!" Private mockingly imitates Bubble Bass and says: "What is THAT supposed to mean?! Seriously, that's what you SOUND like! Do you even listen to yourself when you TALK?!" Squidward says: "I do! He's one of the FEW around Bikini Bottom who ACTUALLY makes SENSE to me!" Patrick says: "I can make sense!" Squidward says: "Yeah, NONSENSE! Remind me WHY I agreed to come with you two?" Spongebob says: "Because you'll be getting paid double-triple overtime COMPARED to what you normally get for a day's work at the Krusty Krab?" Squidward perks up, and says: "Oh, yes! Sweet restitution! I'm in!"

Sniz says: "Anyways, the two of you have used the various aspects of your mental strength, to outplay the twelve other contestants, including Tigress, WHEREVER she currently is, who have gathered here, to see you battle against each other! And now, the ball is in THEIR court! It's time for YOU to describe to them, why YOU should be the one to win this half of a season?!" Private raises his flipper, and he says: "Ooh, can I go first?!" Bubble Bass shrugs, and says: "Eh, knock yourself out." (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "I've been told that a LITTLE bit of courtesy can go a long way. Where to? I'm not exactly sure. I don't think I've gotten there yet." (End Confessional) Private says: "Distinguished contestants, and Tigress, if you're listening, I just want to let you know that when I was playing this game, I never beared ANY ill will towards any of you; not even Tigress! I just wanted to play to the best of my ability, and be as friendly as possible while doing it. Any moves I made, I made them because I felt like they were the right moves for me, and it was nothing personal against any of you! I just want you to know that if you decide to choose ME to be your winner, I will be a GRACEFUL winner, and I will invite ALL of you to a party at the New York City Zoo!" And everyone loudly cheers at Private's announcement! Kowalski says: "You gotta hand it to Private! He certainly knows how to CLOSE a deal!" Rico nods in agreement and says: "Bleh!" Bessie Higgenbottom says: "Oh, yeah! My great, great--." (THUD!!!!) And a giant ice ball suddenly crushes her! Katarra, unconvincingly says: "Oops! I tried to make a snow cone, and I ACCIDENTALLY made the ice too big and hard, and it FELL on Bessie!" Johnny says: "Girl, lying is REALLY not your thing! Your not GOOD at it! You'd NEVER make it trying to write Get Well Cards for people who are really sick, you're too honest!" Katarra nods, and says: "Probably."

(Confessional) Katarra says: "I REALLY hope Aang agrees to come back for the NEXT half of this season. Because I honestly don't see how I could POSSIBLY hope to have a chance, against contestants who might lie and deceive me, especially when I don't really HAVE the ability to do the same thing to them!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right. Bubble Bass, what do you have to say?" Bubble Bass asks: "Are you kidding me? I can't TOP what Private just said! Besides, lying would go against EVERYTHING I've been trying to work towards this season! So, I guess I'll just say what everyone would expect me to say!" And Bubble Bass steps up to the microphone and loudly belches: "BURP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Theodore says: "That is the SECOND loudest belch I have ever heard! Off hand, I can't remember where I heard the FIRST loudest, but I KNOW that it was somewhere!" Sniz says: "Well, the candidates have made their words! So contestants, show your support! Will it be green for Bubble Bass, or black for Private?!" A weary Bessie Higgenbottom, Brittany Miller, Theodore Seville, Rico, Kowalski, Po, and Jenny Wakeman, all show their support for Private. Katarra, Danny Fenton, Fee, and Johnny Krill, all show their support for Bubble Bass! Danny says: "Katarra, I'm surprised that YOU'RE supporting Bubble Bass." Katarra says: "I'm supporting him because of his SHEER honesty." Sniz says: "Well, Private, you have seven supporters, that means...you have SEVEN minutes!" Private asks: "Seven minutes for what?" Sniz says: "To prepare for the FINAL challenge! You didn't THINK that it would come down to simple support did you?" Private says: "But I thought you said the ball was in their court!" Sniz says: "It was, to see how much TIME you would get to prepare for the final challenge! I mean, HELLO! Obviously, we're NOT going to do a finale like season two again! That would make it WAY too boring to watch, and no good for us in terms of ratings! And Bubble Bass, since you have four supporters, that means you have four minutes!"

Bubble Bass asks: "And what are we preparing for; dare I ask?" Sniz says: "For the ultimate battle between the minds, we're going to have an ACTUAL battle, and we're going to see whose intellect is superior! Or, maybe who is luckier! Take your pick! Anyways, in our electronic storage, we have LOADS of assorted electronic doo-dads and gizmos, all confiscated from various failed schemes by Plankton and Snaptrap, for you to peruse. Using the time you have been alotted, you will have to quickly choose which devices you think, will most help you win a technological battle between the two of you!" Private says: "You mean we have to BUILD something?" Sniz says: "You catch on fast, my feathered friend! Once you've grabbed your stuff, you will build something with the stuff you managed to grab. When it is finished, you will both come out here, and your machines will fight! You can even fight IN the machines for all I care, just so long as we have a fight! And don't worry, if you are injured, Wanda is LEGALLY required to heal all of your injuries!" Squidward asks: "Hey! Why can't I have that on any of the shows that I'M a part of?" Patrick asks: "Would you rather our shows be CANCELLED like The Fairly Oddparents and YOU be out of an ACTUAL job?" (Confessional) Squidward steams, and he says: "I HATE it when DUMB WAD has a point!" / Patrick says: "I've learned quite a bit from watching Squidina work on my show. She works really hard, and has to know a lot to keep things running. While I won't pretend that I know everything that she does, I think I owe it to her to at LEAST pay attention, and hopefully, I'll remember the things that she tries to teach me!"

(End Confessional) Sniz says: "Since Private has the most supporters, he will go first, and have seven minutes. Bubble Bass, you may go, once our automated timer hits the four minute mark! And GO!!!!" / And during the seven minutes, the ENTIRETY of The Beatles hit song "Hey Jude", plays during Private's and Bubble Bass' collecting, than building montage. /

Paul McCartney sings: "Hey, Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better. Hey, Jude, don't be afraid. You were made to go out and get her. The minute you let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better. And anytime you feel the pain; Hey, Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders. For well you know that it's a fool, who plays it cool, by making his world a little colder. Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah. Hey, Jude, don't let me down. You have found her, now go and get her. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better. So let it out and let it in. Hey, Jude, begin. You're waiting for someone to perform with. And don't you know that it's just you! Hey, Jude, you'll do. The movement you need is on your shoulder. Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah! Yeah! Hey, Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her under your skin, then you'll begin to make it better; better, better, better, better,better... oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! (don't make it bad, Jude) Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! (Take a sad song and make it better!) Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! (Oh, Jude!) Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! (Jude, hey, Jude, whoa!) Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! (Ooh!) Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude!" / And the song fades out as the montage ends. /

Sniz says: "Okay! The collecting and the building is over! It's time to reveal what our two geniuses have managed to build!" Private steps out first; only, he is now WEARING a metallic exo-skin over his entire body, painted black and white, to make him look like a stronger, more metallic version of himself! Brittany asks: "Is that a--?!" Po quickly interrupts: "NO! It's Metal Bird! Can't get sued with Metal Bird!" Jenny says: "Maybe it's a good thing I DIDN'T get into the Final Two after all! Not sure if I could've competed with THAT!" Sniz says: "Very impressive! Now it's time to see what Bubble Bass has built!" Bubble Bass comes out, wearing a robotic walker that looks like a silver version of the machine that Ripley wore in the finale of "Aliens"! Fee asks: "Is that the BEST machine that you could build?!" Bubble Bass says: "Hey! I only HAD four minutes to collect my stuff! This is the best that I could do with what little I was able to grab!" Fee THINKS about it, and she says: "Eh, fair enough." (Confessional) Fee says: "Don't get me wrong. Since I'm not in the Final Two, it really doesn't make much difference to me who wins or LOSES! I'm already planning my strategy for the NEXT half of this season! I'll get to be IN it with my friend, Harvey Beaks! WHOO WHOO! I am SO excited for that!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, contestants! You built, so it's time to battle! Ladies, and gentlemen, get ready, for--!" Tigress interrupts: "Why did that STUPID Cosmo LOCK the DOOR?!!!" Master Coelaceanth responds: "If Cosmo IS stupid, do you think he would've LOCKED the door?!" Kowalski's already white feathered face, SOMEHOW manages to BLANCHE even more with fear! Kowalski says: "Don't tell me they managed to make it all the way HERE!" Gordon asks: "Well, since you're NOT getting in, can I leave now?" Tigress says: "Oh, we are SO getting in!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Oh, and just HOW do you propose to do THAT?!" Tigress says: "Well, throwing a fish is like throwing a sword, and throwing your sword always works!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "THAT'S your plan?!" Tigress says: "Maybe you didn't HEAR me! I SAID...THROWING...YOUR...SWORD...ALWAYS... WORKS!!!!"

Master Coelaceanth yells as he suddenly appears plummeting from over the arena walls, and into the center of the building, followed by Gordon STILL in his truck, which lands on TOP of the undead Master Coelaceanth, and than Tigress suddenly leaps OVER the walls, and she lands on top of the truck! Tigress says: "See what I did THERE?! I just threw a SWORD...FISH!" Master Coelaceanth mutters: "Get this...!" Tigress says: "Watch your mouth! Or I WON'T help you!" Master Coelaceanth, muffled yells: "Get this MISERABLE excuse for a truck OFF!" Tigress coyly says: "Say the magic word!" Master Coelaceanth, muffled, yells: "Like, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!!!" Tigress says: "No, the OTHER magic word!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "You're ENJOYING this, aren't you?" Tigress smiles, and says: "Only a LOT!" Master Coelacenath groans, and struggling, says: "Puh...lee...aze!" Tigress says: "Okay...now say PRETTY please with sugar, sprinkles, and a cherry on top!!!!" Master Coelaceanth LITERALLY shoots out FLAMES from around his body, melting the front half of the truck, quickly FORCING Gordon to get out! And Master Coelaceanth yells: "I'll KILL YOU!!!!" Tigress scoffs, and says: "PUH-LEESE!!!! Do you expect ME to believe THAT?! YOU can't even get RID of one lowly sea sponge!" Master Coelaceanth says: "A problem I mean to rectify IMMEDIATELY!" Sniz says: "HEY! We were about to do a challenge here! Save your vendetta for somewhere else!" Tigress says: "PUH-LEESE!!!! This STOPPED being about Master Coelaceanth's need for revenge like...ages ago!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "WHAT?!!!"

Tigress says: "Oh, SURE! You COULD have been useful! I mean, hello! I don't string along guys like you unless I plan on getting good MILEAGE out of it! If you were REALLY evil, you would've outright REFUSED to say Please to me! But, since you did, you're clearly not UP to the job I thought you were! From now on, I'm on my own!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Wait! You mean to tell me that whole point of that Please ordeal was a secret test of character?" Tigress says: "Well, DUH!!!! And you failed MISERABLY! Just like every other man who's NOT Po has done in MY life!" Po says: "YES!!!! I'm Tigress' number one man in HER life! Although, that doesn't really feel appropriate to celebrate right now for some reason." Tigress says: "Besides, are you REALLY trying to pull that whole, 'I'm undead and I won't rest until I get revenge against some weak sea sponge who can't even lift a stick with TWO marshmallows on it' thing?!" Spongebob nervously asks: "Who told you THAT?!" Tigress coyly says: "You just TOLD me, you LITERAL block-head!" (Confessional) Spongebob fumes, and he says: "Oh, I HATE it when somebody pulls THAT routine on me!" / Tigress says: "I've known Spongebob's strength from the very start! He's about as much of a threat to me, as an army of balloons is to a porcupine colony! I just want to watch him squirm, while I thrash the FLOOR with Master Coelaceanth! Besides, it will be a good warm-up for the SECOND half of the season! First, I utterly humiliate the undead guy, THAN I'll utterly humiliate Spongebob, but not before I instill a good sense of FEAR into that Sponge!" (End Confessional) Private says: "Um, not that I think that you can't do it, but, this is supposed to be OUR battle! Let us FIGHT it!" Tigress says: "Well, if we were REALLY being fair about things, Sniz would let ME fight the both of you, if you're not COWARDS!!!!" Private and Bubble Bass freeze in place and don't say a word! Tigress says: "That's what I THOUGHT! You WON'T interfere because you KNOW I would beat you in ANYTHING!!!!"

Katarra says: "Except BRAINS!!!!" Tigress yells: "WHAT?!!!" Master Coelaceanth says: "An OPENING!!!!" He tries to produce lightning, but it fizzles out! Master Coelaceanth: "WHAT?! What the hey?!" He keeps TRYING to produce lightning, but NOTHING comes out! Master Coelaceanth screams: "Why isn't my lightning WORKING?!" Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof climb into the arena wall, and they're puffing and totally out of breath. Anti-Cosmo wheezes, and says: "We...finally, got away from that chatty parrot and that dumb dog! Remind me we should NEVER associate with dogs or birds if we can avoid them EVER again!" Anti-Poof says: "You said it!" Master Coelaceanth says: "It's about TIME you showed up! Look what your botched spell did to me!" Anti-Cosmo says: "For your information, I DIDN'T botch it! Wanda interrupted my spell by cutting off the access to my power before I could complete it! If I had known that was going to happen, of COURSE I wouldn't have cast it and left you in this incomplete state!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, you're here now, so cast a spell and bring me back to life again!" Anti-Poof chuckles nervously, and he says: "Uh, funny you should mention that. You see, Wanda, kind of shut off the access point for our powers. We can't restore you even though we really, REALLY want to!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "WHAT?!" Anti-Poof says: "And, your powers were ALWAYS connected to the magical source of OUR powers! When you erupted in flames to melt that truck, you used the very last little residual of magic inside of you that was left in your body. Your out of power. It's over." Master Coelaceanth rhetorically says: "Over? OVER?!!!" He bounds with a great leap towards Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof, and Master Coelaceanth says: "NOTHING is over as long as my body is capable of moving! If I can't use my magic, I'll simply have to kill Spongebob with nothing but brute FORCE!!!!" Spongebob says: "Come on! Why do you want to kill ME?! I'm a nice guy!" Squidward asks: "Do you want the LONG story or the short version?" Spongebob THINKS about it, and he says: "Uh, the SHORT version?"

Squidward says: "Even if he DIDN'T hate you for all the reasons that he probably SHOULD hate you, he's a VILLAIN! He doesn't need a reason to hate, he's just THAT sadistic!" Master Coelaceanth says: "So, come on down and FIGHT me if you want to taste your DEATH!" Tigress moves in front of him, and he says: "You're not harming ANYBODY!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "You'd DARE fight ME?!" Tigress says: "Fight you? No, I'm going to DESTROY you!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You THINK you can destroy me?!" Tigress says: "I don't think it, I KNOW it!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, if I'm something that can be stopped, than JUST try to stop me!" Tigress and Master Coelaceanth begin sparring at each other, and Bubble Bass says: "Wow! I have NEVER felt so sidelined and ignored before. Now I know how Sandy felt during the majority of seasons six through eight of Spongebob Squarepants!" Marlene says: "Well, SOMEBODY has to stop this! Tigress is PHYSICALLY stronger than Master Coelaceanth, but because he's STILL undead, he can't FEEL pain, so he won't ever need to stop, whereas Tigress' strength will eventually wear out!" Private says: "I've got an idea! Gordon Quid!" Gordon says: "What do you want?!" Private says: "What exactly have you been hauling in your truck?!" Gordon says: "See? SOMEONE cares what I've been hauling!" Tigress says: "Not helping!" Gordon says: "Well, as it just so happens, I have been hauling, a whole bunch of deep fry FISH oil!" Johnny Krill nervously yells: "FISH oil?!" Squidward yells: "Fish oil?!" Bubble Bass yells: "Fish oil?!" Spongebob yells: "Fish oil?!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "Fish oil?!" Patrick yells: "Fish Oil?!" Spongebob and Squidward look at him strangely. Patrick says: "WHAT?! No one is THAT stupid!"

(Confessional) Squidward says: "In some weird way, I'm beginning to think that Patrick might be right about ONE thing! The mechanations of his inner mind ARE an enigma!" (End Confessional) Private says: "Gordon, fill my firing mechanisms up with that stuff!" Gordon asks: "You WANT to help Tigress?!" Private says: "I got to! I wouldn't be a GOOD penguin spy otherwise!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You think I'm just going to LET you DOUSE me with that stuff?!" Bubble Bass says: "No, but I CAN help hold you BACK!" And Bubble Bass uses his metal pinchers, to keep Master Coelaceanth in place! Master Coelaceanth yells: "No! Let me go! Let me go!" Bubble Bass says: "After the way you threatened Spongebob? You're out of your mind!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You fool! If they douse ME, what's to stop them from dousing the REST of you?! You're seafood to them! They will HUNT you! They will EAT you! They'll destroy EVERYTHING that you cherish until there is nothing LEFT of Bikini Bottom! Is THAT what you WANT?!!!" Bubble Bass says: "YOU'RE the fool! That's NOT going to happen even if YOU are alive, so it doesn't even MATTER!" Private says: "I've got it! Sorry, Master Coelaceanth, but it's hook, line, and SINKER!!!!" And Private FIRES the hot deep fry oil onto Master Coelaceanth, turning him from an undead corpse into a gigantic fish fry! Tigress says: "A fish fry! How poetic! I've always WANTED to sink my teeth into a fresh FISH meal!!!!" Even without a functional mouth, Master Coelaceanth SOMEHOW manages to scream: "No, no, NO!!!!" And the camera turns to face Patrick as loud chomping is heard off-screen from his vantage point.

Patrick says: "See? Unlike SOME shows, we have the decency to turn the camera AWAY from footage like that, even if he WAS evil!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, it looks like Master Coelaceanth's story has been wrapped up, with absolutely NO loose ends to tie up!" Than Tigress' eyes briefly glow GLOWING red, and a sinister voice lowly says: "Mwa, ha, ha, ha!" Bubble Bass says: "Than again, maybe not. But we'll deal with it during the NEXT half season IF it becomes a problem and NOT before!" Sniz says: "That's great and all, but, we STILL have a challenge to finish, and you've WASTED enough time as it is! We need to find out who are winner is! And NO more fish oil!" Private says: "Fair enough! It's time to see how strong this suit really is!" Bubble Bass says: "You're going to take me head on?" Private says: "Literally!!!!" And Private shoots like a rocket towards Bubble Bass, and the resulting collision BREAKS both of their mechanical creations apart, and the two of them are weary, wobbling on their last legs! General Barracuda says: "Come on, son! Stay up!" Kowalski says: "Don't fall down now, Private!" Sniz says: "Well, looks like it might come down to luck after all!" And in a split second difference, Bubble Bass falls down first, and Private falls RIGHT on top of him! Marlene says: "Private has pinned Bubble Bass! It's time to start the countdown! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! It's over! It's all over! Private has won Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" Kowalski rushes to Private's side, and gets him out of the wrecked metal! Kowalski says: "You did it! You did it! I knew you would! I just KNEW you would!" Private says: "Well, I don't think if I could've done it, if I hadn't have learned from you." General Barracuda comes to Bubble Bass' side, and gets him out of the wreckage. General Barracuda says: "Son..." Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "I suppose you probably hate me for failing to live up to your high expectations." General Barracuda says: "Come on! You made it to the Final Two! That's far better than I ever expected you to do! Come on, I'll buy you a dinner with the pearls I've been keeping in the lake!" Bubble Bass says: "PEARLS?!!! Those were YOUR pearls?!"

General Barracuda says: "You KNOW about them?!" Bubble Bass says: "I found them in the very FIRST episode of this competition! I didn't KNOW they were yours! If I did, I never would've taken them!" General Barracuda says: "Well, they're MY retirement NEST egg...which, I'll bequeath to someday should I kick the bucket!" Bubble Bass says: "Eh, I waited THIS long to be rich! I can wait a little longer!" Private says: "No need to worry! I have decided to split the prize money evenly! An even $100,000 split between all fourteen contestants, EVEN Tigress!" Tigress says: "It was never about the money for me, just for the title! I might have lost the title THIS time! But just wait for the NEXT half of the season, and, watch out everyone!" Sniz says: "I'll fly everyone to Private's party at the New York City Zoo on my PRIVATE LEAR Jet! Fondue, I'll let YOU close off the season!" Fondue excitedly says: "Really?! I'd be glad to!" Sniz, Spongebob, Patrick, Squidward, General Barracuda, Wally, Marlene, and all the contestants get on the plane. And as it leaves over the horizon, Fondue says: "And that has been Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! We'll be going into production pretty soon for the second half of Season Four, so when we come back, we will find out who will be participating, in Total Cartoon Legends!"

Than police sirens wail, and Police Officers Bob and Nancy jump out of their police cars, and Gordon says: "That's the guy! That's who's responsible for MY suffering!" Police Officer Nancy says: "Fondue Brokowski, you are under arrest!" Fondue asks: "On what charges?!" Police Officer Nancy pulls out a list, and she says: "Hiring scab labor during a union strike, utilizing dangerous black magic known to cause effects such as baldness, temporary gigantic growth, involuntary invisibility, and the like; turning a blind eye to Anti-Cosmo's blatant cheating in regards to Tigress, letting General Barracuda help Bubble Bass have an unfair advantage in a challenge, sending contestants into a dark cave without proper cave safety equipment, utilizing LIVE cannon ammunition on a pirate ship, allowing contestants to steal and than later use a death ray laser...thingy, reckless endangerment of a contestant's life in regards to Private, allowing Bubble Bass and Po to run around naked without a proper permit, allowing four super dangerous villains to invade and distrupt a challenge simultaneously, not checking Jenny Wakeman for dangerous weaponry BEFORE she entered the competition, wrecking a dance studio and violating the terms of a deposit, and wreckless usage of deep fry fish oil in the presence of aquatic sea creatures! And let's not forget, you decided to take ALL the responsibility of ANYTHING that happened this season, Fondue!" Fondue gulps nervously, and he suddenly realizes that Sniz HAD a point after all at the beginning of the season, and all Fondue can say is: "Oh, boy! I am in SO much trouble when Sniz finds out about this." /


Episode Notes: Alternate ending where Private wins. (If you're STILL reading Hayden, you can stop now. This will be the ONLY time a contestant from "The Penguins Of Madagascar" EVER wins a Final Two, really!) All other notes will be revealed when the cannon ending of this episode is written. / Personal Notes: Back when I was writing season three, I had hoped to be able to do my own version of "Run, Lola Run", by writing three different endings for the three different finalists, and thus give the fans the choice of who they wanted to see win. Unfortunately, Stephen Hillenburg dying made me realize that it would be totally inappropriate of me, to NOT honor his legacy, by not technically having Patrick win, and give Reggie Rocket the title. But now, that enough time has passed, I feel like I can write down an alternate ending, and fans can choose this to be the actual ending if they so desire. For everyone else, the real finale still waits! Enough said, true believers!

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As promised, it's time for the CANON ending for this half season finale! And don't worry, folks, there are PLENTY of enough changes from the non-canon ending to warrant a read-through of this ending! / The camera opens up in the camera monitor room, only to show Marlene instead of Sniz, Fondue, or General Barracuda. Marlene says: "All right! I get to be the one doing the show introduction this time! Over this first half of season four, you have witnessed twelve contestants; Bessie Higgenbottom, Brittany Miller, Rico, Katarra, Theodore Seville, Danny Fenton, Fee, Johnny Krill, Tigress, Kowalski, Po, and Jenny Wakeman, lose to the combined intelectual minds of Bubble Bass and Private! Despite being called 'The Brains' and 'The Other Brains', these two contestants have played vastly different games! Bubble Bass has focused on crafting strategies, plans, and an alliance to help him get to where he is, while Private has focused on the social aspect of this game, trying to be friendly with everyone, and keeping a charming personality while doing it. These two different strategies have brought the two of them to the Final Two, but only ONE of them can walk away with the $1.4 Million Grand Prize! It's time to find out who will emerge the winner, in the half-season finale, for Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! I can't WAIT to see how it unfolds!" / "Brains Vs. The Other Brains: The Intellectual Showdown!" /

The camera opens up to show Sniz, in the middle of a giant arena, filled with a lot of audience members, but most NOTABLY, the previously eliminated contestants from this season (except Tigress), and Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward. Sniz says: "Well, we needed to wait X amount of time for this to happen, but at long last, it's going to happen! The Final Two is going to come down to Bubble Bass and Private, Brains Vs. The Other Brains! But before our contestants come out here, we've asked them to make one final Confessional, to reveal their thought process, on how they expect the final challenge to play out! (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "If anyone asked me if I expected to make it to the Final Two based only on my wits and LITERALLY nothing else, I would've told them they were CRAZY! But somehow, even with just BUBBLES, I managed to make it past twelve other contestants! I mean, I know a LITTLE bit of luck had to be involved, but it certainly couldn't have been ALL luck! Unless you're Orlando Bloom, NOBODY'S luck is THAT good! But, I've made it THIS far! Now it's time to see if I can go ALL the way! My only concern is the social aspect of the game. Private definitely has it over me in the popularity department! How HE managed to be born with an ACTUAL British accent, I'll probably never know! But in any other department, I probably have the edge over him! Still, it pays to expect the unexpected, so I'm not holding my breath; even though I'm a fish and have gills!" /

Private says: "Initially, I thought I was here to support Rico and Kowalski in their quest to win a season of this game. But when Rico got taken out so early, I knew I had to step up to the plate! And not just for me, but for Kowalski's sake! And despite so many odds being against me, I exceeded the expectations that twelve other contestants had of me, and made it to the Final Two! There's no doubt that when it comes to the social aspect of this game, I've got it in the bag! But, seeing the way this season has been so far, I seriously doubt it's going to come down to the social aspect! And Bubble Bass, in spite of not starting with much in terms of physical prowess, actually HAS stepped up to the plate and proven more capable of holding his own in challenges! So, I'm going to have to play with everything I have in this final challenge! It's my best chance of proving that I have what it takes to be a REAL penguin commando!" (End Confessional) The two contestants step out onto the arena, from opposite sides, to thunderous applause! Sniz says: "Welcome to the battle of the BRAINY bulge! The thriller at cerebellum! The meeting of the minds! The throwdown at think town! Did I miss anything?" Wanda says: "No, I think you got them all!" Sniz says: "Bubble Bass, Private, I just want you both to know that I had high expectations. And even though its the TWO of you who are here, I STILL expect the BEST from the both of you, even if ONE of you has an unexplainable accent!" Private asks: "What is THAT supposed to mean?!" Bubble Bass, in a mock British accent says: "What is THAT supposed to mean?! Seriously, that's what you SOUND like! Do you even listen to yourself when you TALK?!" Kowalski rolls his eyes, and says: "Heaven knows SKIPPER doesn't! I can't TELL you how many times Skipper managed to Leeroy Jenkins up a WHOLE mission just to prove some stupid point!" Marlene says: "THANK YOU! Someone ELSE gets it!" Spongebob asks: "What in the WORLD is a Leeroy Jenkins?" Squidward says: "You know all those times you failed a Boating Exam with Mrs. Puff? It's pretty much THAT!" Spongebob says: "Oh! Now I know the proper term for THAT!"

Squidward says: "Yeah! Remind me of WHY I agreed to come with you two?" Patrick says: "Because you'll be getting paid double-triple overtime COMPARED to what you normally get for a day's work at the Krusty Krab? I remember what I got paid during the times that I've worked there!" Squidward perks up, and says: "Oh, yes! Sweet restitution! All right, I'm in!" Sniz says: "Anyways, the two of you have used the various aspects of your mental strength, to outplay the twelve other contestants, including Tigress, WHEREVER she currently is, who have gathered here, to see you battle against each other! And now, the ball is in THEIR court! It's time for YOU to describe to them, why YOU should be the one to win this half of a season?!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh, I'll go FIRST!" Private shrugs, and says: "That's okay, I can wait." (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "I HAD to go first! Hello! If I let Private talk first, he would probably say something SO charming, I wouldn't be able to top it! At least this way, the other contestants will get to know what I actually think!" / Private says: "Sure, I'm a bit miffed that Bubble Bass wanted to go first, but I've been told that a LITTLE bit of courtesy can go a long way. It usually does for me! Marlene says that besides her, I'm the most courteous animal in the entire New York City Zoo!" (End Confessional)

Bubble Bass says: "Distinguished contestants, and Tigress, if you're listening, I just want to let you know that when I was playing this game, I honestly never thought that I would be the one standing here. I mean, with so many odds stacked up against me, my weight, my initial behavior, my lack of physical skills, and having a hard time saying 'Please' at first, it certainly seemed not in the cards for me to wind up here. However, if I hadn't have established an alliance with Johnny Krill and Tigress, I never would've learned the value of friendship. And while I do intend on being as honest as possible, I don't see as how that has to affect my ability to be nice. Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward, I know that we might have had, differences in the past. But I just want you to know that anything I have done, I only did it because the writers of Spongebob Squarepants demanded that I do. It was nothing personal against any of you. And should you support me in becoming the winner, I will be a graceful one, and treat you all to a wonderful party in Malibu, California, where Blonda currently lives in her house!" And even though it's not unanimous, there is quite a bit of cheering, even from some of the eliminated contestants! Fee says: "I've never BEEN to a party in Malibu, California before! It's BOUND to be a fun one!" Sniz says: "Very well. Private, what do you have to say?" Private says: "Well, first of all, I just want you to know that I have never beared ANY ill will towards any of you; not even Tigress! I just wanted to play to the best of my ability, and be as friendly as possible while doing it. Any moves I made, I made them because I felt like they were the right moves for me, and it was nothing personal against any of you! I just want you to know that if you decide to choose ME to be your winner, I will make sure that all of you will be invited to a party at the New York City Zoo!" And even though there's more cheering, it is STILL not unamious! Kowalski says: "Private! You didn't say you'd be a graceful winner!" Private says: "I wasn't expecting Bubble Bass to give a GOOD speech! That threw me OFF!" (Confessional)

Private writes on a notepad and he says: "Note to self; never underestimate ANYBODY'S ability to give a good speech! Not even Bubble Bass!" / Kowalski says: "Somehow, I KNOW that Skipper influenced this!" Rico questioningly asks: "Bleh?" Kowalski replies: "Why?! Because...pick a random reason why! He's THAT crazy!" (End Confessional) Bessie Higgenbottom says: "Oh, yeah! My great, great--." (THUD!!!!) And a giant ice ball suddenly crushes her! Katarra, unconvincingly says: "Oops! I tried to make a snow cone, and I ACCIDENTALLY made the ice too big and hard, and it FELL on Bessie!" Johnny says: "Girl, lying is REALLY not your thing! Your not GOOD at it! You'd NEVER make it trying to write Get Well Cards for people who are really sick, you're too honest!" Katarra nods, and says: "Probably." (Confessional) Katarra says: "I REALLY hope Aang agrees to come back for the NEXT half of this season. Because I honestly don't see how I could POSSIBLY hope to have a chance, against contestants who might lie and deceive me, especially when I don't really HAVE the ability to do the same thing to them!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right. You've heard from the both of them! So it's time to show your support! Will it be green for Bubble Bass, or black for Private?!" Brittany Miller, Theodore Seville, Rico, Kowalski, Po, and Jenny Wakeman, all show their support for Private; while a weary Bessie Higgenbottom, Katarra, Danny Fenton, Fee, and Johnny Krill, all show their support for Bubble Bass! Danny says: "Katarra, I'm surprised that YOU'RE supporting Bubble Bass." Katarra says: "I'm supporting him because of his SHEER honesty, and surprising potential! It's surprised even ME, and that's a rare feet!" (Confessional) Katarra says: "The real test for Bubble Bass' potential will be in the NEXT half-season! Anyone can potentially WIN a season of a game show! The real test of their potential will be to see how long they can last in a subsequent season, when everyone KNOWS exactly what they're capable of! Even though I won't be competing, I can't WAIT to see what Bubble Bass can do!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Well, Private, you have six supporters, that means...you have SIX minutes!" Private asks: "Six minutes for what?" Sniz says: "To prepare for the FINAL challenge! You didn't THINK that it would come down to simple support did you?" Private says: "But I thought you said the ball was in their court!" Sniz says: "It was, to see how much TIME you would get to prepare for the final challenge! I mean, HELLO! Obviously, we're NOT going to do a finale like season two again! That would make it WAY too boring to watch, and no good for us in terms of ratings! And Bubble Bass, since you have five supporters, that means you have five minutes!" Bubble Bass asks: "And what exactly are we preparing for? Spongebob better NOT have to climb into my MOUTH again, people will get the wrong impression about me!" Sniz says: "Don't worry! It will be NOTHING like that! For the ultimate battle between the minds, we're going to have an ACTUAL battle, and we're going to see whose intellect is superior! Or, maybe who is luckier! Take your pick! Anyways, in our electronic storage, we have LOADS of assorted electronic doo-dads and gizmos, all confiscated from various failed schemes by Plankton and Snaptrap, for you to peruse. Using the time you have been alotted, you will have to quickly choose which devices you think, will most help you win a technological battle between the two of you!" Private says: "You mean we have to BUILD something?" Sniz says: "You catch on fast, my feathered friend! Once you've grabbed your stuff, you will build something with the stuff you managed to grab. When it is finished, you will both come out here, and your machines will fight! You can even fight IN the machines for all I care, just so long as we have a fight! And don't worry, if you are injured, Wanda is LEGALLY required to heal all of your injuries!"

Squidward asks: "Hey! Why can't I have that on any of the shows that I'M a part of?" Patrick asks: "Would you rather our shows be CANCELLED like The Fairly Oddparents and YOU be out of an ACTUAL job?" (Confessional) Squidward steams, and he says: "I HATE it when DUMB WAD has a point!" / Patrick says: "I've learned quite a bit from watching Squidina work on my show. She works really hard, and has to know a lot to keep things running. While I won't pretend that I know everything that she does, I think I owe it to her to at LEAST pay attention, and hopefully, I'll remember the things that she tries to teach me!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Since Private has the most supporters, he will go first, and have six minutes. Bubble Bass, you may go, once our automated timer hits the five minute mark! And GO!!!!" / And during the six minutes, the edited single version of Jefferson Starship's hit song "Miracles", plays during Private's and Bubble Bass' collecting, than building montage. /

Marty Balin sings: "If only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), so would I. If only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), so would I. I might have to move heaven and earth, to prove it to you, baby (Baby). So we're makin' love and you feel the power. And I feel the power, then there's really nothing we can't do. (You know we could, you know we could). If we wanted to, baby, (You know we could, you know we could), we could exist on the stars. It'd be so easy. Now, baby. All we gotta do (Baby, baby, baby, oh, baby). Is get a little faith in you (Baby, baby). Oh, I've been so many places, I've seen some things (Yes, I have). I know love is the answer (Yes, it is). Keeps holding this world together, yeah. Ain't nothing better. Ain't nothing better (Nothing's better). And all the answers to our prayers. Nothing ever breaks up the heart (Love's a game now). Only tears give you away (Ain't it a shame now?) Then you're right where I found ya (Oh, baby). With my arms around ya (Oh, baby). O-o-o-o-o-o-oh, baby. Baby, baby. Love is a magic word, ooh, yeah (Baby). Few ever find in a lifetime. But from that very first look in your eyes, I knew you and I had but one heart (Baby). That was so easy (Baby). So easy (Oh, baby). Oh, if only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), We'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), so would I. If only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), so would I. I can hear windmills and rainbows whenever you're talkin' to me (Never say never). I feel like swirling and dancin' whenever you're walking with me. (Whenever you're walking with me). You make me wanna sing (I love you so). Yeah (I love you so). Baby (I love you so). Baby (I love you so). Baby (I love you so). Baby (Oh). Oh, yeah (Oh, yeah). All right (All right). Every time you come by, let me try (Come on by). Pretty please with sugar on it. That's how I like it, ooh. I can't even believe it with you. It's like having every dream I ever wanted come true (Dream of a lifetime). I picked up your vibes, you know, it opened my eyes (Dream of a lifetime). But I'm still dreamin', yeah (Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, oh). And you're right where I found ya (Oh, baby). With my arms around ya (Oh, baby). Oh, if only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), so would I. If only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), So would I. So would I. So would I. Oh, if only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles). So would I. If only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), So would I." / And the song fades out as the montage ends. /

Sniz says: "Okay! The collecting and the building is over! It's time to reveal what our two geniuses have managed to build!" Private steps out first; only, he is now WEARING a metallic exo-skin over his entire body, painted black and white, to make him look like a stronger, more metallic version of himself! Brittany asks: "Is that a--?!" Po quickly interrupts: "NO! It's Metal Bird! Can't get sued with Metal Bird!" Jenny says: "Maybe it's a good thing I DIDN'T get into the Final Two after all! Not sure if I could've competed with THAT!" Theodore asks: "Where are his blasters though?" Private says: "I only HAD six minutes! If I had ANOTHER minute, I could've grabbed some!" Sniz says: "Still impressive! Now it's time to see what Bubble Bass has built!" Bubble Bass comes out, wearing a robotic walker that looks like a LARGER, silver, built with BLASTERS, more impressive version of the machine that Ripley wore in the finale of "Aliens"! Fee says: "That is the SECOND coolest machine that I have ever seen! Off hand, I can't think of where I saw the FIRST coolest machine I have ever seen, but I know that it was somewhere!" Bubble Bass says: "I HAD five minutes to work with! I decided to grab the blasters FIRST, so I could have a RANGE advantage over Private!" Fee THINKS about it, and she says: "That, is a pretty good strategy." (Confessional) Fee says: "Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to PRETEND that I had a chance of winning THIS season! I CLEARLY underestimated Bubble Bass! I won't make THAT mistake in the NEXT half of this season! I'll get to be IN it with my friend, Harvey Beaks! WHOO WHOO! I am SO excited for that!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "All right, contestants! You built, so it's time to battle! Ladies, and gentlemen, get ready, for--!" Tigress interrupts: "Why did that STUPID Cosmo LOCK the DOOR?!!!" Master Coelaceanth responds: "If Cosmo IS stupid, do you think he would've LOCKED the door?!" Kowalski's already white feathered face, SOMEHOW manages to BLANCHE even more with fear! Kowalski says: "Don't tell me they managed to make it all the way HERE?!" Jenny says: "Robots aren't PROGRAMMED for fear, and even I'M feeling nervous right now!" Gordon asks: "Well, since you're NOT getting in, can I leave now?" Tigress says: "Oh, we are SO getting in! I did NOT come this far just to give up NOW!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Oh, and just HOW do you propose we GET in anyways?!" Tigress says: "Well, throwing a fish is like throwing a sword, and throwing your sword always works!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "THAT'S your plan?!" Tigress says: "Maybe you didn't HEAR me! I SAID...THROWING...YOUR...SWORD...ALWAYS... WORKS!!!!" Master Coelaceanth yells as suddenly appears plummeting from over the arena walls, and into the center of the building, followed by Gordon STILL in his truck, which lands on TOP of the undead Master Coelaceanth, and than Tigress suddenly leaps OVER the walls, and she lands on top of the truck! Tigress says: "See what I did THERE?! I just threw a SWORD...FISH!" Master Coelaceanth mutters: "Get this...!" Tigress says: "Watch your mouth! Or I WON'T help you!" Master Coelaceanth, muffled yells: "Get this MISERABLE excuse for a truck OFF!" Tigress coyly says: "Say the magic word!" Master Coelaceanth, muffled, yells: "Like, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!!!" Tigress says: "No, the OTHER magic word!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "You're ENJOYING this, aren't you?" Tigress smiles, and says: "Only a LOT!" Master Coelacenath groans, and struggling, says: "Puh...lee...aze!"

Bubble Bass says: "Hard to believe that I used to sound like that when saying 'Please'!" Tigress says: "Okay...now say PRETTY please with sugar, sprinkles, and a cherry on top!!!!" Master Coelaceanth LITERALLY shoots out FLAMES from around his body, melting the front half of the truck, quickly FORCING Gordon to get out! And Master Coelaceanth yells: "I'll KILL YOU!!!!" Tigress scoffs, and says: "PUH-LEESE!!!! Do you expect ME to believe THAT?! YOU can't even get RID of one lowly sea sponge!" Master Coelaceanth says: "A problem I mean to rectify IMMEDIATELY!" Sniz says: "HEY! We were about to do a challenge here! Save your vendetta for somewhere else!" Tigress says: "PUH-LEESE!!!! This STOPPED being about Master Coelaceanth's need for revenge like...ages ago!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "WHAT?!!!" Tigress says: "Oh, SURE! You COULD have been useful! I mean, hello! I don't string along guys like you unless I plan on getting good MILEAGE out of it! If you were REALLY evil, you would've outright REFUSED to say Please to me! But, since you did, you're clearly not UP to the job I thought you were! From now on, I'm on my own!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Wait! You mean to tell me that whole point of that Please ordeal was a secret test of character?" Tigress says: "Well, DUH!!!! And you failed MISERABLY! Just like every other man who's NOT Po has done in MY life!" Po says: "YES!!!! I'm Tigress' number one man in HER life! Although, that doesn't really feel appropriate to celebrate right now for some reason." Johnny rolls his eyes, and he sarcastically says: "NO! Really, do you think?!" (Confessional) Johnny says: "That woman is a terrible, triple-decker, toadstool saurkraut sandwich, with arsenic sauce! I SO hope I don't get put on HER team again next season!" (End Confessional) Tigress says: "Anyways, are you REALLY trying to pull that whole, 'I'm undead and I won't rest until I get revenge against some weak sea sponge who can't even lift a stick with TWO marshmallows on it' thing?!" Spongebob nervously asks: "Who told you THAT?!" Tigress coyly says: "You just TOLD me, you LITERAL block-head!"

(Confessional) Spongebob fumes, and he says: "Oh, I HATE it when somebody pulls THAT routine on me!" / Tigress says: "I've known Spongebob's strength from the very start! He's about as much of a threat to me, as an army of balloons is to a porcupine colony! I just want to watch him squirm, while I thrash the FLOOR with Master Coelaceanth! Besides, it will be a good warm-up for the SECOND half of the season! First, I utterly humiliate the undead guy, THAN I'll utterly humiliate Spongebob, but not before I instill a good sense of FEAR into that Sponge! Revenge shouldn't be a quick, forgettable affair. It should be savored, like every victory that I will inevitably WIN in the next half-season!" (End Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Not that I don't doubt your capabilities, but, this is supposed to be OUR battle! Let us FIGHT it!" Tigress says: "Well, if we were REALLY being fair about things, Sniz would let ME fight the both of you, if you're not COWARDS!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Come on! THINK about it! What in the world would THAT prove?! Sure, you could fight us, we would lose, but would that REALLY make you happy! I've tried going down the whole vendetta route before, Tigress. It DOESN'T work! Just look at Master Coelaceanth!" Tigress says: "Hey! I'm DIFFERENT! I'm capable of doing ANYTHING I put my MIND to, and I KNOW that I can beat you in ANYTHING!!!!" Katarra says: "Except BRAINS!!!!" Tigress yells: "WHAT?!!!" Master Coelaceanth says: "An OPENING!!!!" He tries to produce lightning, but it fizzles out! Master Coelaceanth: "WHAT?! What the hey?!" He keeps TRYING to produce lightning, but NOTHING comes out! Master Coelaceanth screams: "Why isn't my lightning WORKING?!" Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof climb into the arena wall, and they're puffing and totally out of breath. Anti-Cosmo wheezes, and says: "We...finally, got away from that chatty parrot and that dumb dog! Remind me we should NEVER associate with dogs or birds if we can avoid them EVER again!" Anti-Poof says: "You said it!"

Master Coelaceanth says: "It's about TIME you showed up! Look what your botched spell did to me!" Anti-Cosmo says: "For your information, I DIDN'T botch it! Wanda interrupted my spell by cutting off the access to my power before I could complete it! If I had known that this was going to happen, of COURSE I wouldn't have cast it and left you in this incomplete state!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, you're here now, so cast a spell and bring me back to life again!" Anti-Poof chuckles nervously, and he says: "Uh, funny you should mention that. You see, Wanda, kind of shut off the access point for our powers. We can't restore you even though we really, REALLY want to!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "WHAT?!" Anti-Poof says: "And, your powers were ALWAYS connected to the magical source of OUR powers! When you erupted in flames to melt that truck, you used the very last little residual of magic inside of you that was left in your body. You are out of power. It's over." Master Coelaceanth rhetorically says: "Over? OVER?!!!" He bounds with a great leap towards Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof, and Master Coelaceanth says: "NOTHING is over as long as my body is capable of moving! If I can't use my magic, I'll simply have to kill Spongebob with nothing but brute FORCE!!!!" Spongebob says: "Come on! Why do you want to kill ME?! I'm a nice guy!" Squidward asks: "Do you want the LONG story or the short version?" Spongebob says: "Oh, you mean he hates me the same reason YOU seem to hate me for no good reason? Completely belittling me and blaming me for every single thing that goes wrong with YOUR life even when it can't POSSIBLY be MY fault? Hating me for ONLY trying to be friendly with you? Liking you because I actually think you ARE a great Clarinet Player and artist even when very FEW others do? Have I left any OTHER reasons out?" Squidward is stunned, and unable to say a word.

Spongebob says: "Yes, Squidward. I know and remember EVERY single occasion that you have SAID that you don't like me, and I'm starting to think that you're not just saying that, because you'd rather be doing something else, like pursue a relationship with Squilivia!" Squidward says: "I haven't seen her in ages! It HAS to be something to do with you!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh, PLEASE! Why don't you just accept the fact that Squilivia was SO far out of your league, that YOU mating with her would've been basically inter-species breeding, and get ON with your sad, pathetic life?!" Wally asks: "Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black or something?" Bubble Bass says: "Blonda's case is DIFFERENT! She morphed into the same species of fish as ME, so I don't think it counts!" Master Coelaceanth says: "It doesn't matter WHY I hate you, I just DO! So, come on down and FIGHT me if you want to taste your cold DEATH!" Tigress moves in front of him, and he says: "You're not harming ANYBODY!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "You'd DARE fight ME?!" Tigress says: "Fight you? No, I'm going to DESTROY you!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You THINK you can destroy me?!" Tigress says: "I don't think it, I KNOW it!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, if I'm something that can be stopped, than JUST try to stop me!" Tigress and Master Coelaceanth begin sparring at each other, and Private says: "Woah! Those two are WAY out of my league! I'd NEVER be able to fight Tigress like that!" Marlene says: "Well, SOMEBODY has to stop this! Tigress is PHYSICALLY stronger than Master Coelaceanth, but because he's STILL undead, he can't FEEL pain, so he won't ever need to stop, whereas Tigress' strength will eventually wear out!" Bubble Bass says: "I have an idea! Gordon Quid!" Gordon says: "What do you want?!" Bubble Bass says: "What exactly have you been hauling in your truck?!" Gordon says: "See? SOMEONE cares what I've been hauling!" Tigress says: "Not helping!" Gordon says: "Well, I do have something that MIGHT help, but you might not like it though!" Bubble Bass says: "I'm starting to get a little nervous. What exactly do you have?"

Gordon Quid says: "Well, what I have been hauling in my truck, is a whole bunch of deep fry FISH oil!" Johnny Krill nervously yells: "FISH oil?!" Squidward yells: "Fish oil?!" Bubble Bass yells: "Fish oil?!" Spongebob yells: "Fish oil?!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "Fish oil?!" Patrick yells: "Fish Oil?!" Spongebob and Squidward look at him strangely. Patrick says: "WHAT?! No one is THAT stupid!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "In some weird way, I'm beginning to think that Patrick might be right about ONE thing! The mechanations of his inner mind ARE an enigma!" (End Confessional) Bubble Bass looks at his father, and General Barracuda says: "It's your call, son. Just remember what I taught you; follow through." Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "It's the only way to stop him. Gordon, fill my firing mechanisms up with that stuff!" Gordon asks: "You WANT to help Tigress?!" Bubble Bass says: "I'm planning for the next half-season! Tigress will owe me a FAVOR, then! I give her a favor now, for a favor later!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You think I'm just going to LET you DOUSE me with that stuff?!" Private says: "No, but I CAN help hold you BACK!" And Private uses his metal arm extenders, to keep Master Coelaceanth in place! Master Coelaceanth yells: "No! Let me go! Let me go!" Private says: "After the way you threatened Spongebob? You're out of your mind!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Bubble Bass, you can't fire that thing! What will that MAKE you?! It would make you absolutely no DIFFERENT from me! You'd be no different than you're FATHER at his worst!" Bubble Bass says: "You're wrong! I only want to STOP you! You're interested in destroying the whole ocean! I can't ALLOW that!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You fool! If you douse ME, what's to stop THEM from dousing the REST of your kind?! You're seafood to them! They will HUNT you! They will EAT you! They'll destroy EVERYTHING that you cherish until there is nothing LEFT of Bikini Bottom! Is THAT what you WANT?!!!"

Bubble Bass says: "YOU fool! That's NOT going to happen even if YOU are alive, so it doesn't even MATTER! Sorry, Master Coelaceanth, but it's hook, line, and SINKER!!!!" And Bubble Bass FIRES the hot deep fry oil onto Master Coelaceanth, turning him from an undead corpse into a gigantic fish fry! Tigress says: "A fish fry! How poetic! I've always WANTED to sink my teeth into a fresh FISH meal!!!!" Even without a functional mouth, Master Coelaceanth SOMEHOW manages to scream: "No, no, NO!!!!" And the camera turns to face Patrick as loud chomping is heard off-screen from his vantage point. Patrick says: "See? Unlike SOME shows, we have the decency to turn the camera AWAY from footage like that, even if he WAS evil!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, it looks like Master Coelaceanth's story has been wrapped up, with absolutely NO loose ends to tie up!" Than Tigress' eyes briefly glow GLOWING red, and a sinister voice lowly says: "Mwa, ha, ha, ha!" Bubble Bass says: "Than again, maybe not. But we'll deal with it during the NEXT half season IF it becomes a problem and NOT before!" Sniz says: "That's great and all, but, we STILL have a challenge to finish, and you've WASTED enough time as it is! We need to find out who are winner is! And NO more fish oil!" Bubble Bass says: "Fair enough! It's time to see how strong YOUR suit really is, Private!" Private says: "What are you saying?" Bubble Bass says: "Meet me head on I want to see how well you REALLY made your suit!" Private says: "All right, then! Just remember, YOU asked for it!" And as Private shoots like a rocket towards Bubble Bass, Bubble Bass says: "Bubble up!"

And Bubble Bass quickly puts up a gigantic bubble, but the resulting collision STILL breaks both of their mechanical creations apart, and the two of them are weary, wobbling on their last legs! General Barracuda says: "Come on, son! Stay up!" Kowalski says: "Don't fall down now, Private!" Sniz says: "Well, looks like it might come down to luck after all Could one move mean ALL the difference in the world?!" And in a split second difference, Private falls down first, and Bubble Bass falls RIGHT on top of him! Private says: "Bubble Bass, get your BUTT out of my FACE!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "I can't move! Deal with it!" Wally says: "Bubble Bass has pinned Private! You have to start the countdown!" Marlene says: "Right! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! It's over! It's all over! Bubble Bass has won Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" General Barracuda rushes to Bubble Bass' side, and gets him out of the wrecked metal! General Barracuda says: "Son, this has been the best season I have ever been part of. I find a son, and I lose an enemy. You did your old man proud, today." Bubble Bass says: "Well, somebody had to stop Master Coelaceanth. And if I didn't, who would?" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, I've been saving something special for such a special occasion. Why don't I buy dinner with all the pearls I've been kepping in the lake?" Bubble Bass says: "PEARLS?! Those were YOUR pearls?!" General Barracuda says: "You know about them? How?" Bubble Bass says: "I found them in the very first episode of the competition! I didn't know they were yours! If I did, I never would've taken them!" General Barracuda says: "Well, those pearls WERE my retirement nest egg...but, you DO have a family of your own that you will soon have to think of. And I've kind of grown to like working here anyways. I'd say the money is yours for taking care of Master Coelaceanth! You've more than earned it!"

Bubble Bass says: "Well, the money isn't just for me. I've learned a lot from everyone who came here. With $24 million, it's not exactly EASY to come up with a 14 way split. I know! I'll use $21 million to split evenly between us fourteen contestants, so we'll each get $1.5 million, and the rest I can use as a nest egg to support Blonda and my son!" General Barracuda says: "Sounds like a plan to me!" Kowalski comes to Private, and he asks: "Are you all right?" Private says: "I'm fine. I can't believe I forgot that Bubble Bass could make bubbles! It was just, the heat of the fight, and the fact completely slipped my mind!" Kowalski says: "Well, I guess we all make mistakes sometimes, but at the very least, you can always choose to learn from them. And if it's any consolation, both Marlene and I will be around to support you in the next half-season." Private says: "Thank you, Kowalski. That means a lot to me." Bubble Bass says: "No need to worry! I have decided to split the prize money evenly! An even $100,000 split between all fourteen contestants, EVEN Tigress!" Tigress says: "It was never about the money for me, just for the title! I might have lost the title THIS time! But just wait for the NEXT half of the season, and, watch out everyone!" Sniz says: "I'll fly everyone to Bubble Bass' party at Malibu, California on my PRIVATE LEAR Jet! Fondue, I'll let YOU close off the season!"

Fondue excitedly says: "Really?! I'd be glad to!" Sniz, Spongebob, Patrick, Squidward, General Barracuda, Wally, Marlene, and all the contestants get on the plane. And as it leaves over the horizon, Fondue says: "And that has been Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! We'll be going into production pretty soon for the second half of Season Four, so when we come back, we will find out who will be participating, in Total Cartoon Legends!" Than police sirens wail, and Police Officers Bob and Nancy jump out of their police cars, and Gordon says: "That's the guy! That's who's responsible for MY suffering!" Police Officer Nancy says: "Fondue Brokowski, you are under arrest!" Fondue asks: "On what charges?!" Police Officer Nancy pulls out a list, and she says: "Hiring scab labor during a union strike, utilizing dangerous black magic known to cause effects such as baldness, temporary gigantic growth, involuntary invisibility, involuntary age regression, reanimating a dead, dangerous pyschopath and the like; turning a blind eye to Anti-Cosmo's blatant cheating in regards to Tigress, letting General Barracuda help Bubble Bass have an unfair advantage in a challenge, sending contestants into a dark cave without proper cave safety equipment, utilizing LIVE cannon ammunition on a pirate ship, allowing contestants to steal and than later use a death ray laser...thingy, reckless endangerment of a contestant's life in regards to Private, allowing Bubble Bass and Po to run around naked without a proper permit, allowing four super dangerous villains to invade and distrupt a challenge simultaneously, not checking Jenny Wakeman for dangerous weaponry BEFORE she entered the competition, wrecking a dance studio and violating the terms of a deposit, allowing Tigress and Master Coelaceanth to take Gordon Quid hostage, and reckless usage of deep fry fish oil in the presence of aquatic sea creatures! And let's not forget, you decided to take ALL the responsibility of ANYTHING that happened this season, Fondue!" Fondue gulps nervously, and he suddenly realizes that Sniz HAD a point after all at the beginning of the season, and all Fondue can say is: "Oh, boy! I am in SO much trouble when Sniz finds out about this." Anti-Cosmo says: "I'm not poofing anything!" Anti-Poof says: "And why is that?!" They both sing: "Cause we're on STRIKE!!!!" / And the episode ends! /


Episode Notes: Canon ending where Bubble Bass wins. Featured music in this episode, The Beatles "Hey Jude" (in the alternate version), the "We're On Strike Reprise" from "Rocko's Modern Life" in the canon version, and an edited version of Jefferson Starship's "Miracles" in the canon version. Master Coelaceanth's threat is stopped due to the fact that Tigress LITERALLY makes a meal out of him, but due to the fact that menacing laughter comes out from Tigress after she has eaten him, this might not be the LAST of Master Coelaceanth's threat to the contestants. It is revealed to Squidward that Spongebob HAS been remembering all the previous times Squidward has blamed him for something, even if it was for something that couldn't POSSIBLY be his fault! Fondue Brokowski gets arrested for all the illegal actions that has been performed in this episode. / Personal Notes: Don't get me wrong, this was actually challenging for me, trying to write the same episode, but different enough, so that you would be interested in seeing the alternative ending. I'm kind of glad I didn't attempt this sooner, I might not have been able to pull it off this well. Anyways, I'll be coming up with the roster of contestants for the second half of season four when I am able. I just want to let you know that this has actually been fun for me. I hope it was fun for you two. Enough said, true believers!

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All right! I'm ready to begin Season 4B, "Total Cartoon Legends"! Hopefully, this website will remain relevant and functioning long enough for me to do a season 5 (which I will name later). In any case, I plan to make this season as good as I possibly can! As usual, I hope you'll enjoy reading this as much as I did writing this! / The episode opens up in the middle of a large studio room, not seen since the mid 1990's! Sniz says: "Welcome to the mid-season premiere of Total Cartoon Legends! You may remember at the end of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, after Bubble Bass won and I flew everyone except Fondue to an exclusive party in Malibu, California, Gordon Quid called the cops on my brother Fondue, and rattled off the laundry list of crimes he had committed during that season! So, while General Barracuda and I have to wait for Fondue to finish his mandatory court-ordered community service, we got a brand new co-host, in the form of Toltec/Mayan/Aztec Temple guardian, Olmec! The face of the temple comes to life, and Olmec says: "Greetings, Sniz. It is good to be functional again." Sniz says: "Truth be told, the studio WANTED to get Kirk Fogg back here, but he was TOO expensive, so they brought me back instead! In addition to filming on the actual lot of Universal Studios in Hollywood, California, there will be a unique twist this season! Mainly, for the first time ever, we will have FOUR teams! And not only will they have to compete against each other, sometimes they will have to cooperate WITH each other, in order to prevent one of their own, from taking the brand new Mine Cart of Shame as elimination! There will be no shortage of surprises this time around, so it's time to get to finding out what they will be, on Total Cartoon Legends! /

During the show intro, while Smash Mouth's "All Star" plays, the action that happens during the song, is that Sniz walks out of his trailer, breathing in fresh California air. He first walks to Bubble Bass cuddling with Blonda and their new, purple fish baby, only for all THREE of them to make their finger and their thumb into a shape of an "L" on their foreheads. The action zooms to the Temple Moat, where Private and Kowalski are swimming, only to be quickly fished out by Kitty Katswell, who is disappointed by what she has fished out, and promptly discards them with a mighty swish into the air. They land on Tigress, who throws them to the side, and she sees Aang running, and she immediately starts running after him, initiating a race. The action shifts to the Steps Of Knowledge, where Judy Funny climbs up the steps, only to be greeted by a smiling Zarbon, who is flustered when Wally and Darwin swing in and land on him. Otto laughs at the situation, only to be met with a disapproving look by Haggis McHaggis. The action shifts into the Temple, where Squidward gets grabbed by a Temple Guard, while Spongebob finds a Pendant of Life. The action shifts to the cafeteria, where General Barracuda is SURPRISED that Dog, Heffer Wolfe, Buhdeuce, Monster Krumholtz, Taotie, Gonard, and Po, can't get ENOUGH of what he's cooking! The action shifts to Bulma looking at a camera monitor looking at that action, looking completely BORED by it, so she INTENTIONALLY pushes a button, and the camera SWITCHES to a gigantic explosion! It switches to Verminious J. Snaptrap in the middle of the explosion, Dudley Puppy and Chameleon rushing into wave hi. Snaptraps pulls out a blaster, only for Chameleon to transform into an even BIGGER one, and allows Dudley to grab him as the blaster, and chase Snaptrap away! While they're chasing Snaptrap away, Super Chum can be seen flying overhead, and decides to follow their action. As they leave the screen, a green limo pulls up, revealing Harvey Beaks and Fee inside. A line-up of various other contestants in their official team uniforms are seen; namely, Sandy, Stimpy, Gerald, Pearl, Zim, Marlene, Larry, Sway-Sway, Keswick, Kaput, Johnny Krill, Jenny Wakeman, and Yakety Yak, all ready to race the moat, while Sniz and Olmec watch on. The action shifts to the Performance Review Studio, where Treeflower decides to kiss Norbert, only for Daggett to fall in-between them on the couch. The camera pans out to reveal the entire competing cast surrounding them, and the show title "Total Cartoon Legends" Created by Jason Cantu, as the show intro ends. /

Smash Mouth sings: "Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead. Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets?  You'll never know if you don't go, you'll never shine if you don't glow. Hey, now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold. Only shooting stars break the mold. It's a cool place and they say it gets colder, you're bundled up now, wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ, judging by the hole in the satellite picture. The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored. Hey, now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid! And all that glitters is gold. Only shooting stars break the mold. (Instrumental Break) Hey, now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play! Hey, now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid! And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars. Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept. I could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little change. Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming! Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running! Didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to see, so what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. (GO!) You'll never shine if you don't glow. Hey, now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid! And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars break the mold. And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars break the mold!" / And the epic song ends! / "The Legend Of The Promethius Torch!" /

Sniz says: "Okay, it's time to reveal our contestants this season! With only TWO exceptions, all of them will be returning contestants from a previous season and/or seasons! Let's welcome our first contestant, Daggett Beaver! Daggett runs in, and he says: "Wow! I can't believe you introduced me FIRST! This has never HAPPENED to me before! Usually, I'm not introduced anything until late or LAST! This might be the trend of something new and great!" General Barracuda says: "For YOUR sake, let's hope so!" Daggett looks incensed, but he shakes his head, and says: "Thanks to coaching from my older brother Norbert, I know you only SAID that to get under my skin, but it's NOT going to work THIS season!" General Barracuda says: "Can't blame a guy for trying!" Sniz says: "Technically, he COULD! But let's not get into that, now! Our next contestant is returning athlete, Otto Rocket!" Otto skateboards in, looking cool and unconcerned. General Barracuda says: "Listen to me VERY carefully, Otto! I don't want you doing ANYTHING dangerous, deadly, dumb, disastrous, drastic, or dreary in your misguided attempts to try to impress your fans!" Otto says: "Come ON! Who do you think I am?! Rhetorical question, by the way! I'm not going to do anything immoral or illegal! I'm a MARRIED man, now! Suzie would metaphorically KILL me if I did anything that would upset her!"

General Barracuda says: "Well, now I know who wears the pants in YOUR family!" Otto face-palms himself, and he says: "That is SO out-dated and SO sexist, it doesn't even warrant a PROPER response from yours truly!" General Barracuda says: "Hey, I'm a big, scary army guy! I don't think anybody's going to send any complaints to yours TRULY!" Sniz says: "Well, let's not test THAT theory! Our next contestants are, Sandy Cheeks, and Stimpy J. Cat!" Sandy Cheeks walks in normally, but Stimpy TRIES to walk in all spy-like, failing because he fails to account for his body frame and the lack of objects that could realistically HIDE his body frame! Sandy says: "Stimpy, what are you up to?" Stimpy says: "Not so loud! I'm trying to be incognito! I DON'T want my EX boyfriend/ husband Ren to know that I'm here!" Sniz says: "That won't be necessary! REN'S jail doesn't GET our channel!" General Barracuda says: "To specify, they get cable, but they only get one channel, The Oprah Winfrey Network!" Stimpy says: "Why is THAT a bad thing?! A lot of people LIKE Oprah Winfrey!" General Barracuda says: "Has anybody YOU know who WORKED on ANY Nickelodeon Show EVER appeared on one of HER shows?" Stimpy says: "Not that I know of!" General Barracuda says: "She doesn't like US!" Sniz says: "Your words, not mine! Our next contestant is, Aang the Avatar!" Aang uses his air-bending powers to blow his way in! Sniz says: "It's good to see you again, Aang! I can't WAIT to see what crazy, RAGE filled antics you'll provide us with THIS time!" Aang says: "How many times do I have to REPEAT this?! That was mostly MESOGOG'S doing! I was freaking HIJACKED in my own body! Besides, I'm not BITTER about that live-action movie anymore, and I'm NOT going to irrationally freak out! I'm ABOVE all that, now!" General Barracuda says: "We thought you MIGHT say that, which is why we brought a little insurance in the terms of our next contestants, Tigress and Po!" Tigress leaps in with her USUAL tiger grace, while Po is panting, struggling to catch up!

Tigress taunts: "Hey, BARBIE GIRL, EMBARRASSINGLY dance to any STUPID pop hits lately?! Spend MULTIPLE MILLIONS of dollars on a live-action movie project that critically TANKED?! FAIL to get the BETTER of the Boom Vets even though they were all full of LOSERS unqualified to beat YOU in a race?! Fail to start a fire when a freaking WHALE who LIVES underwater managed to start it BETTER than you?! Hey, AvaTURD; DUH!!!!" Aang's emotions LITERALLY turn his face red, and he exclaims: "This...is...HAPPENING!!!!" He blasts fire-bending all over the place, prompting Wanda to fly in to quickly zap them before they can hit anything! Aang continues screaming: "HAPPENING!!!! HAPPENING!!!! HAPPENING!!!! HAPPENING!!!!" And Wanda dumps a bucket of cold water onto Aang, drenching him, and calming him down! Aang says: "This isn't OVER! I'll make you pay with one of your nine LIVES for this!" Po FINALLY catches up with Tigress, and Po pants, and says: "He has a point, Tigress! You KNOW one of your nine lives is going to go to HELL for this!" Tigress says: "Probably, BUT WORTH IT!!!!" (Confessional) Tigress is in a Tiki Room Confessional, and she says: "YES!!!! I'm the FIRST to use the brand new Confessional for this season! Now, WHY did I antagonize Aang like that? First, General Barracuda paid me $20 to rile up Aang in order to make him more INTERESTING this season! Secondly, I HAD to rile him up! HELLO! I already KNOW that SPONGEBOB is going to be a contestant this season, and unless I riled AANG up to be interesting, I would be STUCK competing against 43 LOSERS!!!! Because we ALL know that NOBODY has what it takes to be an actual threat to me; an angry Aang is the ONLY thing that comes even REMOTELY close to being an ACTUAL challenge! And no challenge equals no excitement for me! At least I'll be able to have some FUN for a FEW episodes, because everybody else is going to be a total NON issue for me, ESPECIALLY that USELESS Spongebob Squarepants!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Barring anymore freak-outs, our next contestants are, Bubble Bass, and Blonda!" Bubble Bass walks in normally, while Blonda is shown carrying a brand new, purple fish baby! General Barracuda says: "Hold it! Blonda, what did YOUR contract say about bringing in a BABY?! You can't compete with a baby; they're too young and innocent!" Stimpy says: "Even I know that!" Blonda says: "Well, I figured you MIGHT make at least ONE exception, seeing as how THIS just happens to be YOUR grandchild! I call him Rube Goldfish!" Daggett says: "SAY, is that the SAME Rube Goldfish who sometimes randomly pops in and out of Spongebob Squarepants and The Patrick Star Show?" Bubble Bass says: "Possibly. I mean, he IS half-magic on Blonda's side of the family, so it's possible that he has harnessed his abilities in the future, and has come to the past. I don't know why, obviously, because I'm not there yet." General Barracuda says: "Well, if he's MY grandson, why doesn't he HAVE either MY last name or my son's last name?!" Blonda scoffs, and she says: "Like I'd let him KNOW that Bubble Bass was the ONLY guy who was willing to have a child WITH me, and that YOU'RE his Grandfather! No offense, Bubble Bass!" Bubble Bass is actually puzzled, and says: "None taken?" Blonda says: "And while I do appreciate the fact that Bubble Bass was able to win a season of this show, I don't want what basically amounts to a nudist, living around OUR son! Not until he's old enough and mature enough to decide for himself what he wants to be." General Barracuda shrugs, and he says: "Fair enough, but in any case, he can't be around on the set, there's too much going on." Stimpy says: "Don't worry about it, I already thought ahead, and I asked Phil Deville, Lil's brother, to babysit for us! That way, Blonda and Bubble Bass can compete without worry!" /

The scene Gilligan Cuts to Phil in a hotel room, taking care of Rube, and Phil says: "It's a living!" / The scene cuts back to the studio, and Sniz says: "And now, because we wanted 44 contestants, we needed two NEW contestants to round out the roster! So, our first of new contestants, Spongebob Squarepants very own, Squidward Tentacles!" Squidward runs out and says: "Thank you! Thank you!" But all he HEARS are the sounds of crickets chirping! Squidward sarcastically says: "VERY funny! Let's all LAUGH at the octopus!" Sniz says: "And now, a paragon of perpetual youthful, idealistic energy, a bundle of unbridled enthusiasm, a fry-cook among legends, everyone's favorite cartoon personality, Spongebob Squarepants!" And Spongebob walks into THUNDEROUS applause! Spongebob blushes, and he says: "Oh, please! I'm SO unimportant!" Squidward says: "The NERVE! To step into MY applause! Trying to upstage me, as if THAT were humanly possible!" Spongebob DRAMATICALLY misses Squidward's point, and Spongebob asks: "How CAN it be humanly possible? NEITHER of us are humans!" Squidward angrily says: "YOU'RE DESPICABLE! I HATE YOU!!!!" Spongebob says: "Whenever you say, 'I hate you', I know it REALLY means 'I love you'!" Squidward says: "I...DOH!!!!" And Squidward REALIZES what Spongebob ALMOST made him do, and Squidward says: "Curse you muscle memory!" Sniz says: "And now, back by POPULAR demand from season three, the Anime superstars themselves, Zarbon and Bulma Briefs!" And they walk into thunderous applause! Aang says: "I think I must have MISSED something! Are THEY actual Nicktoons?!"

Sandy says: "By that logic, are Judy Funny, Marlene Otter, Kaput, Taotie, Tigress, Gonard, Po, Wally, Kowalski, Private, and Yakety Yak actual Nicktoons?" Aang says: "I'm surprised that I can't actually refute that." Zarbon asks: "You're NOT going to try to pull any scams THIS season, are you Bulma?!" Bulma scoffs, and she says: "You underestimate me! There's no WAY I'm pulling a repeat of the LAST time I was here! I'm fully aware on how THAT turned out! Instead, I'm going to try to play as fair of a game as I can, and see how far I can get!" Zarbon humorously chuckles, and he says: "I'll believe THAT when I see it!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "What Zarbon doesn't realize, is that I'm officially married, and a mother now. And when you have a child, it really helps to put things in perspective. What you thought was absolutely important to you when you were younger, turns out to not really be so important to you when you have a one year old baby boy who is absolutely dependent on you! And...it's been tough ever since Goku sacrificed his life to stop Cell from destroying our planet. But I've got to do my best to raise a child! And when my son Trunks, is old enough, I'll have Vegeta train him to be a good hero WORTHY of protecting our planet!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "And now, the two youngest, but by no means the least competitive contestants this season, two childhood sweethearts, Harvey Beaks and Fee!" Harvey Beaks and Fee walk out to thunderous applause! Fee says: "You hear that, Harvey?! They LIKE us! They REALLY like us!" Harvey says: "It's hard NOT to like us Fee, I'd like to think that we're very likable!" Sniz says: "I certainly think so! And our next contestant, who has had her share of up's and down's, a beaver diva, Treeflower Fields!" Treeflower walks into scattered applause. Treeflower says: "Well, at least it's not as bad as SQUIDWARD'S reception!" Squidward asks: "Is that a dig against ME?!" Treeflower says: "Don't take it PERSONALLY! I was simply stating a simple fact! You can't hate me for stating the facts!"

(Confessional) Squidward says: "I can think of a whole GROUP of people who could HATE her for stating the facts, but the network executives won't LET me mention them by name!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "And our next contestant, everyone's favorite dramatist and aspiring actress, give it up for Judy Funny!" Judy walks onto the stage, all melodramatically, while her theme music plays! Judy says: "Everyone's favorite actress walks onto the stage. Alone without her boyfriend, and without ANY of her fellow cast-mates! But, despite the ENORMOUS odds, this heroic heart-throb will SMITE all opposition to her crusade, and CRASH it down into the roaring waves! Adieu, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow! End scene!" And while the audience applauds her, everyone else just looks at her weirdly! (Confessional) Treeflower says: "Lil Deville, I think it's safe to say that you've just been REPLACED in terms of winning the CRAZY award! Mostly, because you're NOT competing this season, but STILL!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Okay...getting away from...whatever THAT was, our next contestants are LITERALLY birds of a feather, who fly together in a rocket van, give it up for Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce! And they jump into THUNDEROUS applause! Squidward says: "Oh, COME ON!!!! How can THEY get more applause than ME?!!!" Sway-Sway says: "Well, maybe if you weren't such a colossal HATE butt all the time, people would LIKE you more!" Buhdeuce says: "Yeah, you know what they say! You can attract MORE flies with HONEY than you can with vinegar!" Squidward says: "You can also attract more flies with HORSE POOP than you can with vinegar! What's your point?!" Sway-Sway's smile drops, and he says: "You know, we WERE willing to try to help you this season, but now you can just FORGET it!" Squidward says: "Oh, so now you're abandoning me, just like my mother and FATHER did?!" Buhdeuce says: "Don't blame us! It's YOUR lousy attitude that turned us OFF from you!"

(Confessional) Squidward says: "Come ON! 'Lousy attitude', my four FEET! I'll have YOU know, that I know, that it's never MY fault if people don't like me! I DON'T have an ATTITUDE problem! People have a problem with MY attitude!" / Sway-Sway shakes his head, and he says: "Mark my words, that octopus is heading for trouble one of these days if he doesn't get his act together!" Buhdeuce pops in, and says: "I have NEVER met a guy, more in denial than HE is in, and THAT'S saying something!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Anyways, our next contestant is MOSTLY here, due to the fact that he was UNFAIRLY eliminated the last time he was here; a vile villain and a LOATHESOME low-life, Verminious J. Snaptrap!" Snaptrap walks in, only to hear LOUD boos from the stage, and Snaptrap says: "Ah, 'BOO' yourselves! Like I'm TRYING to win a popularity contest! I'm certainly not going to ask for YOUR opinion! The only reason I'm EVEN here, is because Angelica Pickles can't compete, so I'm filling in for her!" Zarbon says: "Snaptrap, I know what you're thinking, and FORGET it! There's no WAY they are going to let YOU cheat on this season! And you're foolish to think that you can get away with it!" Snaptrap says: "Oh, I won't be cheating! But I wouldn't be surprised if some OTHER unlucky contestants find THEIR hands all grimy and dirty from any 'ACCIDENTS' that might happen this season!" Tigress instantly runs up to Snaptrap, and she threateningly says: "Listen up CLOSELY, you little PUNK, and listen WELL; you will not TOUCH any other contestant without MY say so! FURTHERMORE, don't get ANY funny ideas about TRYING to eliminate ME! I am GOING to be WINNING this season; and NOTHING, NOBODY CAN STOP ME!!!! So just STAY out of my way, ESPECIALLY, if you WANT to keep your tail!" And Snaptrap just gulps nervously! Treeflower says: "Okay, somebody SERIOUSLY didn't get hugged enough as a child! Uh...Stimpy, YOU hug her!" Stimpy says: "WHAT?! Why ME?!" Fee says: "Because WE don't want to get KILLED!"

(Confessional) Fee says: "I know that Tigress isn't ALLOWED to kill us! And if she keeps her RATIONAL thought pattern in check, she won't even THINK about trying to kill us! That being said, if there's ANYTHING I've learned from watching re-runs of these episodes, is that evil contestants have a way of finding things that are SO much worse than DEATH!" / Snaptrap mutters, and he says: "Oh, why does some goody-goody good-doer like Tigress always have to ruin MY fun?!" / Harvey says: "I think that the reason Tigress likes to ruin Snaptrap's fun, is because he's a HATE SINK, and NOBODY likes a Hate Sink! And if he's GOING to be a Hate Sink, he's going to do it ALONE, and I mean ALONE!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Speaking of 'Alone', our next contestant certainly likes to ACT alone; it's everyone's favorite saboteur, Kaput!" And Kaput zooms in on a jet-pack, but nobody applauds him! Bulma rolls her eyes, and sarcastically says: "Oh goody, it's General Mayhem with a side of CRAZY!" Kaput says: "I'd be more worried about YOU and Blonda, you BACKSTABBING excuses for TRAITORS! Both of you UNFAIRLY got me kicked OFF!" Blonda scoffs, and she says: "UNFAIRLY?! HEY! I'm NOT the one who SABOTAGED everyone's athletic event for Team Sniz Is Really, Really, Really, Cool! That was all YOUR doing!" Kaput says: "Maybe so. But bringing Emperor Mavro BACK from the dead! Threatening EVERYBODY with HIS wrath just because YOU couldn't win Total Cartoon Global Cruise? That WASN'T exactly noble, you know!" Blonda says: "Don't you EVER lecture me!" Kaput says: "Too late, I already did!"

(Confessional) Bulma says: "Well, so much for trying to stay out of EVERYONE'S way THIS season! With Kaput on-board, that guy is going to DIRECTLY try to target ME and Blonda; and anyone else he thinks is responsible for HIS elimination! I don't exactly LIKE the idea, but it looks like I'll HAVE to make ANOTHER alliance this season. If not for my OWN safety, than for anyone ELSE I get partnered with!" / Blonda says: "Kaput is SO lucky that I'm NOT allowed to use magic as long as I'm a contestant! But magic or NO magic, he is NOT going to get the BETTER of me! He is going DOWN! Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but SOMEDAY! And than, for the REST of the season!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Speaking of season, it's time to introduce our SECOND new contestant for this season! From the show of the same name, here is Yakety Yak!" And Yakety floats in ala "Mary Poppins" with an umbrella, and everyone loudly cheers him! Yakety says: "Thank you! It's so good to finally be here! I don't know WHY it took me so long to get here; maybe it's because my ARMS had to do all the flapping, and BOY, are they tired!" And everyone in the audience LAUGHS at that joke! Squidward says: "They laugh at THAT excuse for a joke?! That yak couldn't even call his DOG, and make it a BELIEVABLE performance!" Yakety says: "Come on! There's no need to be sour! If you want, I can teach you to be a GREAT comedian, the way I am! I'll even start you off with an EASY one! Knock-knock!" Squidward says: "Go away!"

Yakety says: "Come on! You could at least PRETEND to be interested!" (Confessional) Yakety says: "I don't know WHAT that octopus' problem is! You would THINK that as miserable as HE claims to be, he'd be TRYING to get everyone he CAN to be friends with him! I'm curious to know, why is he SO against trying to make any friends?" / Squidward says: "You want to know WHY I'm against making friends? Here's a hint; he's about four feet tall, has no hair...that I KNOW of, and he's the most ANNOYING guy on the face of the planet?" (Camera briefly cuts) Squidward says: "No! It's NOT Coconut Fred from Coconut Fred's Fruit Salad Island! I'm talking about Spongebob Squarepants! That yellow NIMROD has the STUPID capacity for SOMEHOW making friends WHEREVER he goes! And ANYONE who meets Spongebob and becomes friends with him, AUTOMATICALLY make it impossible for ME to be friends with them, because I'm NOT going to catch SPONGEBOB'S STUPID!!!!" / Treeflower says: "I guess what that meme said IS true: You either DIE a Spongebob, or you live LONG enough to become a Squidward! I SURE hope I NEVER become a Squidward again! That was the WORST time of my LIFE!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Our next contestants, are two of the four penguins from The Penguins Of Madagascar! Give it up for Kowalski and Private!" Kowalski and Private zoom into scattered applause! Private says: "That's strange! The applause for us seems a little lighter for us THIS season, compared to previous seasons!" General Barracuda says: "It's because the studio has BANNED overtly sexist people from attending this studio! That's PROBABLY the reason why!" Kowalski says: "Than why are YOU still here?" General Barracuda says: "Simple. I'm an ACTUAL General, with Diplomatic Immunity, so like MC Hammer once sang, you CAN'T touch this!" Daggett says: "I wouldn't want to anyway, and I've had to touch some pretty gross stuff on MY show!"

(Confessional) Private says: "Kowalski, if there aren't as many people to support us, do you think we STILL have a chance to WIN this season?" Kowalski says: "I think we have MORE of a chance this season! I mean, do we really want SEXIST people to be OUR supporters? They're NOT our target audience anyways! And the reason we have MORE of a chance, is because we WANT it more!" Private says: "Do you really think that?" Kowalski says: "Well, we're going to have to actually compete to prove the theory, but I've always WANTED to do a field experiment, studio environment not withstanding." Private says: "Hooray for experiments!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Speaking of experiments, our next contestant has experienced an experiment gone wrong, and NOW sounds like he has a different voice. But he's STILL determined to give it his all, so give it up for Taotie!" Taotie walks in to scattered applause, and Tigress scoffs, and she says: "Please! I know Taotie inside and out! He won't sound THAT different!" Taotie speaks with a voice that NOW sounds like it's Patrick Warburton's voice, and he says: "Hey, that's what YOU think! I built an experimental translation collar, so I could say pick-up lines in French. But during the course of the experiment, the electricity malfunctioned, causing a change in my larynx, and therefore my voice. Of course, I DO think this voice sounds a LOT better, and NOT on the verge of death! Besides, I have been THINKING more rationally since the experiment! I'll see if I can't win by playing more fairly this time around!" Tigress asks: "Know of any FAIRS where you can PLAY, though?" Taotie mock laughs, and says: "Ho ho, very funny. Ha ha, it IS to laugh!" (Confessional) Taotie says: "Even WITH this new voice, Tigress STILL doesn't take me seriously! It's a little insulting, if I'm being perfectly honest!" / Tigress says: "The day Taotie becomes an ACTUAL threat, is the day I take him seriously! And we all know THAT'S never going to happen, so I don't, and I won't!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Speaking of serious, our next contestant is a seriously cool dude, who has come back, so he can write a BOOK on being cool; give it up for Gerald!" Gerald walks into thunderous applause, and he says: "And Rhonda, if you're watching this show, call me! I'm TOTALLY available!" Squidward asks: "And what makes YOU the expert on being cool?" Gerald says: "Easy! I've got a cool walk! I wear cool clothes! I've got a SMOOTH personality! And I can really KICK...well, you get the idea!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "PLEASE Neptune, let GERALD be on MY team! He's the FIRST contestant I've seen who I think I could ACTUALLY tolerate!" / Gerald says: "So far, the only plan I have is to NOT be on Aang's team THIS season! I was on one the LAST time I played here, and boy, did I regret it! If I can steer away from being around any CRAZY contestants, I think I'll be okay!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Speaking of contestants, our next contestant is the oldest, except for Blonda, that we've EVER had! Why, he's been around for years and years and YEARS and--!" Aang shouts: "Get on with it!" Daggett shouts: "Get on with it!" Treeflower shouts: "Get on with it!" Otto shouts: "Get on with it!" Sandy shouts: "Get on with it!" Sniz asks: "Can't ANYBODY take a JOKE anymore?" Olmec shouts: "Get on with it!" Sniz rolls his eyes and says: "Fine! Haggis McHaggis!" Haggis walks in, carrying his shellaighlee, and Haggis says: "It's so GOOD to be back in Hollywood again! I can already taste the accolades!" Treeflower says: "If you DARE punch me again, I'll NEVER forgive you!" Haggis says: "That wasn't COMPLETELY my fault, I was TRICKED by Kaput!" Kaput scoffs, and he says: "They ALWAYS blame ME! 'My fists did what they wanted, blah, blah, blah, I'm old, blah, blah, blah, I'm a lying hypocrite'!" Haggis says: "At least I will ADMIT to actually MAKING a mistake, unlike YOU!" Taotie says: "Ooh, he's got you THERE, Kaput!" Kaput scoffs, and he says: "I would STILL hate to be HIM, though!"

(Confessional) Kaput says: "To paraphrase a hit song that The Who once sang, I hope I DIE before I get THAT old!" / Haggis says: "In a weird way, it's actually astounding how MY age NEVER seems to get OLD as a JOKE to them! I'm not sure whether I should be flattered, or consider that insulting! I guess I'll split the difference and eat a haggis sandwich!" And Haggis proceeds to do just that! (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Our next contestant really NEEDS no introduction, but I'll give it to her anyways! A massive flirt, and a BIG help to us during Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, give it up for Marlene Otter!" And as Marlene walks in, Janet Jackson's hit song "If" plays, and Marlene lip-syncs along to it!

Janet sings: "Sittin' over here, starin' in your face with lust in my eyes, sure don't give a damn. And ya don't know that I've been dreamin' of ya in my fantasy. Never once you looked at me. Don't even realize that I'm wantin' you to fulfill my needs. Think what you want, let your mind free. Run free to a place no one dares to. How many nights I've laid in bed excited over you? I've closed my eyes and thought of us a hundred different ways. I've gotten there so many times. I wonder; how 'bout you? Day and night, night and day, all I've got to say is if I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you. I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you. But I'm not, so I can't, and I won't, but; if I was your girl. Allow me some time to play with your mind and you'll get there again and again. Close your eyes and imagine my body undressed; take your time, 'cause we've got all night, ooh. You on the rise as you're touchin' my thighs. And let me know what you like, if you like I'll go down, down, down, down, da, down, down. I'll hold you in my hand and maybe, you're smooth and shiny, feels so good against my lips, sugar. I want you so bad, I can taste your love right now, baby. Day and night, night and day, all I've got to say is, if I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you. I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you. But I'm not, so I can't, and I won't, but if I was your girl. If I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you. I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you. But I'm not, so I can't, and I won't, but; if I was your girl. (Instrumental Break) I've laid in bed excited over you; one hundred different ways. I've thought of many, many days and nights, nights and days, and all I want to say is if I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you. I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you. But I'm not, so I can't, and I won't, but if I was your girl. If I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you. I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you. But I'm not, so I can't, and I won't, but if I was your girl. If I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you! I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to! If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you! But I'm not!" /

And the epic song and dance sequence ends as everyone applauds loudly! Squidward says: "HEY! How come SHE got to enter in with a BIG production number?!" Marlene says: "Because I paid the cover charge for Janet Jackson to allow that song to be used on this show! Not to mention, she gets sweet, SWEET royalties every time this episode will be played...at least until 2088 when the song enters into the public domain!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "Oh, she is GOOD! Really good! I really hope she's on MY team this season!" / Marlene rolls her eyes, and says: "I REALLY hope I'm NOT on Squidward's team this season! First of all, I have no idea how he will fare as a contestant! Secondly, I can't afford to play the 'Flirt Card' as a married woman anymore! That would be a double standard and an insult to Skipper! It won't be easy, but I'll simply have to rely on my skills and natural friendships if I want to at least make it to the Final Five! Only THAN, will I make plans for what happens after that!" (End Confessional) Sniz looks at his watch, and he says: "WOAH! I didn't realize we've spent THAT much time already! We really don't have time to introduce the rest separately, so, it's time for all the other contestants to come out! Pearl, Darwin, Zim, Larry, Dog, Kitty, Super Chum, Keswick, Heffer, Monster, Gonard, Wally, Dudley, Chameleon, Johnny Krill, and Jenny Wakeman!" Bubble Bass says: "Wally! You DID make the cut! I hope we get to be on the same team this season!" Wally says: "I sure hope so to! But even if we have to compete against each other, I don't want you to hold anything back! I expect you to compete with everything you've got!" Bubble Bass says: "Duly noted." Squidward asks: "Why are you friends with HIM?! You KNOW he's got to have CAUGHT some of Spongebob's STUPID!"

Sandy says: "First of all, stupidity isn't a DISEASE, it can only be SPREAD like one!" Bubble Bass says: "And secondly, unlike you, I used to be a lot LIKE you! I used to judge others PURELY on their outer appearance and what I thought of them! The difference is, I grew up and grew OUT of it! When will YOU?!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Someone had to set the record straight for Squidward! And if I didn't, who would?!" / Squidward rhetorically asks: "ME?! NOT grown up?" Laughs crazily, than he seriously says: "I'll tell you who's NOT grown up! Blind, crazy, STUPID guys named Spongebob Squarepants!" / Sandy says: "You know, sometimes I wonder how Squidward managed to get THIS far in life with SO much hatred in his heart!" / Wally says: "I like how Bubble Bass doesn't judge me for my show, or even what I like. He respects me the way I am, and we like each other enough, that we can be friends despite having some differences! NOBODY should be totally alike in every SINGLE way! Can you imagine how BORING and DYSTOPIAN that would be?! Not at ALL an attractive thought in MY way of thinking!" (End Confessional) Pearl says: "Personally, I find it a little insulting that the rest of us were just all lumped together like that!" Darwin says: "Well, Sniz DOES have a schedule to keep, and he doesn't have all day to just talk about us." Kitty says: "It would be nice if SOMEBODY did!" Dudley says: "You know, Kitty, I could talk about you if you WANT me to!" Kitty says: "It's NOT the same thing!" Keswick asks: "How is it NOT the same thing?" (Confessional) Keswick says: "Even after all this time of working with Kitty, I STILL don't completely understand the way she thinks, and I'm not sure if I ever will!" (End Confessional) Zim says: "Give me a lousy introduction if you must! But mark my words; Zim will have his--!" Larry sarcastically says: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know! Eternal vengeance, you'll have your revenge, yadda, yadda, yadda. Could you give it a REST already?!" Zim says: "Vengeance NEVER sleeps!"

Super Chum says: "It would be nice if YOU did, once in a while!" (Confessional) Zim asks: "How did Super Chum of ALL contestants, get to come back here?!" / Larry says: "Personally, I don't know how Super Chum got to come back here; but I'd certainly rather be on a team with HIM, than ZIM any day!" (End Confessional) Bulma asks: "Gonard, you're NOT going to try and ask me out on a date AGAIN, are you?!" Gonard says: "No! Of course not! I know you don't really like me in THAT way, anyways!" Bulma says: "Good! Than this will make the REST of our season together a whole lot easier!" (Confessional) Gonard says: "I couldn't go on a date with Bulma anyways. I am in a committed relationship with Lily now! We're mostly doing it for the ratings, but I think she's genuinely starting to warm up to me!" / Bulma says: "At least that's ONE less thing I have to worry about THIS season!" (End Confessional) Heffer says: "Hey! You forgot about ME and Monster!" Johnny Krill says: "So did pretty much the REST of the world if we're being perfectly honest!" Monster says: "Like YOU'RE one to talk! You've only appeared in the ONE episode of Spongebob Squarepants!" Johnny Krill says: "I had LEGITIMATE guest star status! I don't do Spongebob Squarepants for minimum wage, you know!" (Confessional) Heffer says: "Ooh, he's got us THERE!" / Johnny says: "Let's get one thing straight. I intend on playing this game the BEST that I can! And I DON'T intend on having Tigress push me around the way she did LAST season! If she tries to push me, I will push BACK! Let's see how SHE likes it when she has to deal with her OWN attitude being thrown right back her! I know it's not exactly nice, but it's PRECISELY what SHE deserves!" (End Confessional)

Chameleon asks: "Dudley, do you think either of us have a chance to make it all the way to the Final Five this season?" Jenny says: "Statistically speaking, I don't think anyone has more of a chance than anyone else...except for Tigress!" Dudley says: "What are you saying?!" Jenny sighs, and she says: "I can't ignore the hard facts! Tigress hits HARD and Fast, she IS hard and fast, she acts on impulse, and she will TOTALLY destroy ANYTHING that gets in her way! You want MY advice? Stay as FAR out of Tigress' way as realistically possible! You'll live a LOT longer that way!" Chameleon says: "What about you? You're a ROBOT!" Jenny says: "Maybe so, but my mom is a genius MECHANIC, NOT a Miracle Worker!" (Confessional) Jenny says: "The one drawback about being a robot, is that I'm DESIGNED to exact specifications, and I'm not meant to exceed them! Tigress can PUSH past her limits, I can't! My best hope, is to HOPE that Tigress does something SO unbelievably heinous and CRAZY, that Sniz can't POSSIBLY ignore it, and eliminate her! Obviously, I don't WANT that to happen, but that's probably what it will take to actually eliminate her! I'm not even sure if everyone BESIDES Spongebob ganging up against Tigress can slow HER down!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Okay, everyone has met everyone, we're all here together, so it's time to reveal how this season will work! With the exception of two of you, you are on this season because you're the best of the best! Representatives from season 1, season 2, season 3, and season 4A. And we're looking for one of you, just one, to be the best of the best! What will follow are challenges based around those found in Legends of The Hidden Temple, as well as some other surprises. Unlike past seasons, this time there will be FOUR teams involved! Our major reason for doing this, is because we hope that with this structure, ONE team won't CONSTANTLY win challenges and beat all the other teams on a regular basis! To further the odds of that happening, in some challenges, two teams will have to temporarily team up together, to face off against the other two teams, and the team structures during those match-ups will NOT remain constant! So, you're going to have to choose your strategies carefully! Because one challenge, you might be facing off against your enemies; but in the next challenge, you might have to work with them! Of course, there are some contestants who MIGHT not have your best interests at heart! That being said, we will NOT allow any cheating this season! THAT means you, Snaptrap and Kaput!" Snaptrap says: "Oh, SURE! Single US out, why don't you?!" Dog says: "It's hard NOT to! You have BOTH done a LOT of lousy things!" Tigress says: "It doesn't matter if THEY cheat; I'll still be WINNING this season!" Sniz says: "First of all, dial down your CRAZY about...a TRILLION notches! Secondly, you will be divided into FOUR teams, based on your predominate abilities in your previous season and your seasons! The athletic contestants will be on the Red Jaguars, the brainy contestants will be on the Green Monkeys, the evil contestants will be on the Silver Snakes, and EVERYONE else will be on the Blue Barracudas!"

This causes Squidward to panic, and he says: "No, NO!!!! I beg of you! DON'T put ME on the same team as Spongebob Squarepants, don't you DO it! Spongebob KNOWS of all the times I've said I hated him in the past, and he will OBVIOUSLY work against me to eliminate me FIRST! I can't be eliminated first; I haven't ACCOMPLISHED anything yet! For the love of Neptune, PLEASE don't put Spongebob on the same team as me!" General Barracuda is HONESTLY surprised by this outburst, and he says: "WOAH! Calm DOWN!!!! We would NEVER subject you to THAT kind of cruel behavior, at least not this early! The team results are as follows: Aang and Daggett are on the Silver Snakes, Treeflower and Spongebob are on the Green Monkeys, Otto and Sandy are on the Red Jaguars, Stimpy is on the Green Monkeys, Judy and Gerald are on the Red Jaguars, Haggis is on the Silver Snakes, Pearl is on the Red Jaguars, Darwin and Wally are on the...well, Green Monkeys." Darwin says: "I am NOT a monkey, I am a chimpanzee!"

General Barracuda says: "Call someone who CARES, like Jane Goodall!" Sniz says: "Anyways, Zim is on the Silver Snakes, Marlene and Dog are on the Green Monkeys, Larry is on the Red Jaguars, Kitty and Snaptrap are on the Silver Snakes, Sway-Sway and Harvey are on the Blue Barracudas, Super Chum and Keswick are on the Green Monkeys, Kaput is on the Silver Snakes, Heffer and Buhdeuce are on the Red Jaguars, Monster and Po are on the Green Monkeys, Blonda and Taotie are on the Silver Snakes, Tigress is on the Red Jaguars..." Tigress says: "YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" General Barracuda says: "He SAID Red JAGUARS, not red tigers!" Tigress says: "Doesn't matter, I'm STILL going to be WINNING this season!" Daggett says: "You know, constantly SAYING something doesn't mean that it IS true; it just makes people more turned OFF from you!" Treeflower says: "That's surprisingly SMART coming from YOU!" Daggett says: "I had to learn SOMETHING from listening to you and Norbert talk ALL the time!" Treeflower says: "Thank you!" Than she REALIZES the stealth insult that Daggett said, and she retorts: "I take offense to 'ALL the time'!" Daggett says: "Your words, not mine!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "At least Daggett and I AREN'T on the same team this season!" / Daggett says: "I am SO glad that I'm NOT on the same team as Treeflower is THIS season! Although I do have to wonder how I wound up in the Silver Snakes! How am I considered villainous?! I mean, are they REALLY counting all the actions I did during the Performance Reviews of season two?! Because if they are, that's REALLY spooty of them!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Anyways, Gonard, Dudley, and Zarbon are on the Blue Barracudas, Bulma and Kowalski are on the Silver Snakes, Chameleon and Fee are on the Blue Barracudas, Johnny and Jenny are on the Red Jaguars, Private, Bubble Bass, Yakety Yak, and Squidward, are on the Blue Barracudas!" Squidward says: "YES!!!! I'm not on the same team as SPONGEBOB!!!!" And Spongebob quivers, and says: "You're...glad, that you're NOT on the same TEAM as me?" Bubble Bass says: "Spongebob, I WOULD tell you that Squidward didn't MEAN that nasty panic attack he had at the thought of being on the same team as you...but that just wouldn't be true." Spongebob sniffles, and runs off crying: "WAAH!!!!!!!!!" Squidward says: "Cry, cry, cry; that weeping sound, it's DISGUSTING!!!! EVERY single TIME, I can't BELIEVE it! Every single STUPID--why did YOU have to say THAT anyways?!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh, NO! You DON'T get that! I told him the HONEST truth! You DON'T get to make ME the bad guy in this scenario! This is YOUR fault! If you had just been HONEST with him from the first TIME that you met him, this wouldn't BE happening!" Squidward says: "Well if Spongebob WASN'T so STUPID, he would realize how much I don't LIKE him!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, if Spongebob is SO stupid, than how come HE'S the one who is in the Green Monkeys, and NOT you?!" Squidward stammers, and he says: "Because I...because you...listen to me, YOU! You're not PINNING this on ME! Because if YOU think that I...that you...I hate you SO much right now!" Bubble Bass says: "Like Spongebob said, whenever you say 'I hate you', it means 'I love you'!"

Squidward says: "I--DOH!!!! NUTS!!!!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I hate it when they do that." / Bubble Bass says: "Don't get me wrong; I would LOVE it if Squidward could get his act together and BE part of our team! But when it comes right down to it, he's going to have to pull his own weight. I won't slow myself down just to cover for any of HIS mistakes! If he wants to make it to the Final Five, he's going to HAVE to straighten up!" / Spongebob is still sniffling, and he says: "I still can't BELIEVE Squidward didn't want to be on the same team as me! After all these YEARS of working together at the Krusty Krab, I THOUGHT he would've changed! But no matter how hard I try, he just won't accept MY friendship! Why doesn't he WANT to be FRIENDS with me?! Everybody LIKES me!" / Bubble Bass shakes his head and says: "You know, I don't think even I have the heart to tell him that it's practically IMPOSSIBLE to have a 100% adoration rating, but I don't know if his heart could take that news. He's bound to find out the HARD way, sooner or later. And when he does, I don't think it's going to be pretty." (End Confessional) / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here, and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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All right! It's time to get back to the second and final part of the first episode of "Total Cartoon Legends"! I hope you enjoy it! / The episode cuts back from commercial, and General Barracuda says, welcome back to Total Cartoon Legends, where for once, we DIDN'T take what SEEMED like forever in getting back to the episode!" Sniz says: "You know, there are PROBABLY at least a dozen OTHER celebrities out there who would LOVE to have YOUR job! I heard Mila Kunis is DYING to get out of HER soul-crushing work right now!" General Barracuda says: "Fine! I rescind my last comment! Nobody can take a cruddy JOKE anymore!" Sniz says: "All right! Our contestants are now all suited up, so it's time to explain the rules! Normally, in every episode, Olmec will introduce the legend, that the challenge will be based around. Normally, you will have to swim across the moat, then go down the steps of knowledge! During this two-part challenge, two teams will occasionally have to work together against two other teams. Whichever two teams get down the steps of knowledge first, will have an advantage in completing whatever random challenge we set up, relating to the legend at hand. In the end, only the team that gets the MOST Pendants of Life will get to go into the temple, and retrieve the lost legend. However, since today, we had to introduce everyone and everyone, we are going to have to make this a short challenge, which is just FINE by me! Today, all you have to do is listen to the legend, than I will tell you what challenge you have to do in order to win it! The two teams that win today's challenge, will not only receive immunity, they will get to sleep in a luxurious luxury suite hotel room, for the remainder of the game, while everybody else has to make do with the trailers from Total Cartoon Action! The two teams that lose, will have to simultaneously select only ONE contestant from BOTH teams, in order to be eliminated! In fact, since we only HAVE 30 episodes to work with, 4 of those which will be Performance Reviews, we are going to have a DOUBLE elimination from now, until we have the number of contestants remaining, equal the number of episodes left! Hopefully, that will inspire you to play your A game! Now, it's time for Olmec to tell us about the Legend Of the Promethius Torch!"

Olmec says: "Centuries ago, the Ancient Greeks told of a tale, that when humanity was young, they lived in darkness, fear, and ignorance of one another. One of the Gods saw their pain and suffering, and decided that he couldn't bear to watch humanity suffer. That God was named Promethius! Promethius openly defied his fellow Gods, and from Mount Olympus, brought a sacred fire torch from the mountain, and handed it to humanity! The torch not only lit up people's homes, but it also sparked their creativity, and fueled their quest for knowledge and learning. For Promethius' defiance, he was sentenced to forever push a boulder, up the impossibly steep Mount Sisyphus. The Torch of Promethius was eventually lost to the mists of time, and found it's way to the Temple! Your task is to retrieve the Torch of Promethius and bring it back out of the Temple!" Sniz says: "Thanks Olmec! Where can the Torch of Promethius be found?" Olmec says: "The Torch of Promethius can be found in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey!" Sniz says: "All right! Today, we have randomly chosen the team set-up! The Red Jaguars will play WITH the Green Monkeys, while the Silver Snakes will play with the Blue Barracudas! Now, for today's challenge, in honor of the Torch of Promethius, we have built two large scale replicas of the original torch. You see that unlit flame up at the top? You will have to figure out a way, to build SOMETHING that will help you get from the ground, up to the unlit flame!" Gerald says: "Uh, not to poke holes in your LOGIC, but there is no such thing, as an unlit flame!" Sniz says: "There is for us! The studio won't let you PLAY with actual fire, and that includes Aang!" Aang says: "Tigress STARTED it!" Tigress retorts: "Like YOU could have EVER finished it!" Aang says: "BITE me!" Tigress says: "Only in your sick FANTASIES!" Aang yells: "Are you saying that I'M perverted?!" Tigress says: "Of course not, for a man obsessed with Mark Walhberg in Boogie Nights!" Otto says: "BURN!!!!" Aang says: "Can SHE get AWAY with SAYING that?!" Tigress tosses a $20 bill to Sniz, and Sniz says: "Why YES, she CAN! She's richer AND stronger than you!"

(Confessional) Aang says: "Richer?! Maybe. Stronger?! We'll just see about THAT!" / Tigress says: "I WOULD feel more guilty about antagonizing Aang, but he JUST makes it TOO easy, and fun for me to POSSIBLY feel any guilt!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Anyways, since the studio won't let us use actual fire, you will be using light-up mock torches, in order to light the big torch. The first two teams that light the torch will win!" Haggis says: "Excuse me, but you haven't told us what we have to BUILD in order to GET up to the torch!" Sniz says: "We've got lots of various objects lying around, that you can use to get up to the flame! Arrange them in whatever way you think will be best to get up to the torch! It wouldn't be as challenging otherwise!" (Confessional) Haggis says: "I'm starting to think that I'm getting too old for this!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "One more thing, you cannot FLY or THROW someone up to the torch! You have to win this challenge the way any NORMAL contestant on Legends Of The Hidden Temple would!" Bubble Bass says: "Excuse me, but I have seen EVERY single original episode of the ORIGINAL Legends Of the Hidden Temple at LEAST once, and NONE of the contestants EVER had to light up a giant torch!" Sniz says: "That's what makes it more challenging! Am I right, Olmec!" Olmec says: "Right you are, Sniz!" Bubble Bass says: "Hmmm, that voice sounds REALLY familiar, but I can't quite place where I've HEARD it before!" Sniz says: "In any case, there will be SIX minutes to light the torch! If nobody can light the torch in the given amount of time, we will go to a tie-breaker question. Hopefully, it won't have to come to that!" Blonda says: "Excuse me, but can I have a STUNT double to do this FOR me?!" Sniz says: "What do you think this is; Spaceballs?! Besides, your sister Wanda is LEGALLY required to heal ANY injuries in case they happen on this set! It helps keep our First Aid costs low!" Blonda says: "Thank you, I feel SO much better!" Sniz says: "In any case; on your marks, get set GO!!!!" /

Tigress says: "Teams, I will NOT have a repeat of what happened LAST season; I am GOING to win the first challenge!" Treeflower says: "WE!!!!" Tigress says: "Like I said, WE!" Sandy says: "Tigress, that WASN'T cute LAST season, and it certainly isn't cute NOW!" Tigress says: "Would you PREFER if I DIDN'T correct it?!" Wally says: "I certainly wouldn't!" Gerald says: "So, what exactly do you want us to build?" Tigress says: "WE won't have to build anything! All WE need to do is get up to the top! We can't fly, and I can't THROW someone up there, but Sniz said NOTHING about forming a human pyramid to get up to the top!" Pearl says: "Uh, a lot of us AREN'T human, including YOU!" Tigress says: "Oh, SHUT UP! You KNOW what I meant!" Darwin says: "And just HOW are we supposed to form this pyramid, dare I ask?!" Tigress says: "It's all a matter of weight, and proportion! The stronger, heavier contestants; Pearl, Larry, Super Chum, Heffer, Monster, Po, Johnny, and Jenny, you will make up the bottom portion of the pyramid! The next strongest, Sandy, Dog, Buhdeuce, Gerald, Otto, and Stimpy, will make up the next level of the pyramid! Treeflower, Judy, Keswick, and Marlene, you'll make up the next level of the pyramid! Darwin and Wally, you'll make up the next level of the pyramid! Spongebob, you'll get on top of them--." Spongebob says: "And then I'll get to light the torch?" Tigress actually laughs uproariously and says: "BAH!!!! HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH! HUH, HO! HO! HO! HO! HA! HA! HA! Oh my! Oh, IT HURTS!!!! HA! HA! HA! HA!...WAIT! Were you SERIOUS?! Let me...laugh even LOUDER!!!! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!!" Spongebob asks: "And what's so funny about that?" Tigress stops laughing and she says: "Spongebob, I'm sure Squidward MUST have gone over THIS scenario with you at LEAST 250 times, give or take, but you are simply UNQUALIFIED to light the torch on ONE basis and ONE basis alone; you are a DUMB-BUTT!!!! And there's no way a QUALIFIED winner like me is going to allow YOU to MESS it up for the rest of us! That's why I will jump off of YOU, and be the one to light the torch, so that YOU don't mess it up!"

Spongebob says: "But I WOULDN'T--!" Tigress asks: "Spongebob; do you want to stay on MY good side?" Spongebob says: "Well, yes." Tigress asks: "Do you WANT me to help you out in FUTURE challenges where we MIGHT get paired up together?" Spongebob says: "Yes." Tigress asks: "And do you WANT to keep ALL of YOUR teeth inside of your MOUTH when this season is over?" Spongebob says: "Yes." Tigress quietly says: "All right, than I guess in that case, you better..." Than Tigress screams: "SHUT UP; AND DO WHAT I SAY!!!!" Spongebob says: "Touchy!" (Confessional) Spongebob says: "I'm starting to think that being IGNORED by Squidward, is BETTER than being YELLED at by Tigress!" / Tigress says: "Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely NO use for Spongebob, and I'm not at ALL afraid to let him know that! And while I would LOVE the idea of having Spongebob be the first boot out of here, I am also NOT going to put myself at the risk of being eliminated in the FIRST episode, either! It's a classic case of 'Can't kill you, still need you'." (End Confessional) Meanwhile, the other two teams are arguing and debating what to do! Bulma says: "Okay, teams! Just follow MY lead, and we will ALL be okay!" Daggett says: "YOUR lead?! After the way you LIED to everyone in season three just to get ahead?!" Haggis says: "And HE'S supposed to be the DUMB beaver!" Daggett says: "I RESENT that remark!" Bulma says: "Come on! I came prepared with a BUCKETFUL of plans, as in the plans could LITERALLY fit in a bucket! Won't you at LEAST hear me out?!" Zim asks: "And give YOU the chance to backstab us AGAIN?! Sorry, Bulma! But if YOU suggest it, we're NOT going to LISTEN to it!" (Confessional) Bulma sighs, and says: "I suppose I DESERVE that treatment! I...REALLY didn't think my actions through on season 3. Why can't foresight ever be 20/20 the way that hindsight is?!" / Haggis says: "Truthfully, Bulma probably COULD give us a plan to win! But after the way she fooled most of during season 3?! Too risky! I'd rather lose HONORABLY than make ANOTHER horrible mistake the way I did during season 3!" (End Confessional) Snaptrap says: "I am so LOVING this tension right now!" General Barracuda grabs Snaptrap by his lab-coat, and Snaptrap says: "NOW what?!"

General Barracuda says: "HAND it over!" Snaptrap pulls out ONE tiny laser gun, and he says: "Fine!" General Barracuda screams: "ALL OF IT!!!!" Snaptrap moans: "FINE!!!!" And he pulls out EIGHT more lasers of various shapes and sizes, hidden in his lab coat! General Barracuda smiles, and he says: "There! Don't you feel BETTER now that you KNOW you're NOT cheating?" General Barracuda walks off-screen, and Snaptrap mockingly repeats: "Now that you know you're not cheating?" General Barracuda yells: "I heard that!" Snaptrap yells: "D'OH!!!!" (Confessional) General Barracuda says: "Cheat on OUR show once? Shame on YOU! But we're NOT letting you cheat a SECOND time!" / Snaptrap says: "Why does he insist on RUINING all of MY fun this season?! What's the POINT of being on a game show if you CAN'T cheat on it?! I should've signed up with Disney; at least THEY would've let MY plots run unhindered for about 57 episodes!" (End Confessional) Kaput says: "You fools! The answer is OBVIOUS! I'll simply use my jet-pack to FLY the torch up there!" Sway-Sway says: "That's a no go, though. We can't FLY up there, and I'm PRETTY sure that includes jet-packs!" Buhdeuce says: "Don't you think if flying WAS an option, we would've done it by now?!" Kaput mutters, and he says: "I HATE it when LOSERS have a point!" Kitty says: "It takes one to know one! And why am I on the Silver Snakes?! I've NEVER done anything villainous!" Blonda says: "Well, you DID mistrust Chameleon, and NEVER gave him a chance during season three, even though he did NOTHING remotely worthy of not HAVING your trust!" Kitty says: "That's just GREAT!!!! One mistake, and I'm paying for it for the REST of my life!" Kowalski says: "I can say the SAME thing about SQUIDWARD'S parents!" Squidward says: "Leave MY parents out of this!" Private says: "Oh yeah?! Try saying THAT again to our pointed beaks! I'm a Final Two Contestant, buddy!" Squidward asks: "And that means WHAT to me, exactly?" Fee says: "It probably means that he feels that he's got a FAR better chance of winning this season than you do! And from the way YOU'RE behaving, I frankly can't BLAME him for thinking that!"

Harvey says: "And I'm shocked that I actually AGREE with her!" Zarbon says: "Well, SOMEBODY needs to come up with SOMETHING! I can't save ALL of us with my good looks alone!" Private says: "I've got it! We build a TOWER! A pretty, pink, Princess Tower! From the top of the tower, we can simply lean out, and light the torch up!" Yakety asks: "A pretty, pink, Princess Tower? THAT'S what you can come up with?!" Bubble Bass says: "Come on! It's the first ACTUAL idea I've heard of that COULD work!" Squidward groans, and says: "FINE! I'll help BUILD it, but I WON'T like it!" Taotie says: "Just so long as you help build it, that's all WE care about!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "Did I REALLY take my long overdue vacation from the Krusty Krab, just so I could go through MORE meaningless, menial labor AGAIN?! Of course, I can't AFFORD to be the first boot out, so it looks like I HAVE to do it! And if we LOSE, I am SO voting Kowalski and Private OUT!" / Private says: "There is simply nothing WRONG with being in touch with your feminine side!" Kowalski says: "I certainly don't think so!" / Fee says: "If there's one thing that I've learned from experience, is that you can tell a LOT about something by the way they constantly act and behave! Squidward's constant sarcasm, indifference, anger, and self-loathing, are all just a mask to hide his insecurities of feeling like he will NEVER be good enough for his parents, if he's NOT better than Spongebob! I'm banking on Squidward's CONSTANT need to knee-jerk, do ANYTHING and react in ANY way that will get ANYONE to POSSIBLY like him, to be his ultimate downfall!" / Bubble Bass says: "Look, I'm not saying that building a pretty, pink, Princess Tower is the BEST plan in the whole world, but our teams were STRUGGLING together! I mean, it's better than building NOTHING!" (End Confessional) During the pyramid stacking and the Princess Tower building montage, The Beatles song "We Can Work It Out" plays over it. /

Paul McCartney sings: "Try to see it my way. Do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on? While you see it your way, run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone. We can work it out. We can work it out. Think of what you're saying. You can get it wrong, and still you think that it's alright. Think of what I'm saying. We can work it out and get it straight, or say goodnight. We can work it out. We can work it out. Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend. I have always thought that it's a crime, so I will ask you once again. Try to see it my way. Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong. While you see it your way, there's a chance that we might fall apart before too long. We can work it out. We can work it out. Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend. I have always thought that it's a crime. So I will ask you once again. Try to see it my way. Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong. While you see it your way, there's a chance that we might fall apart before too long. We can work it out, we can work it out." / And the epic song ends as Haggis notices the progress of the other teams! Haggis says: "Team-mates, we need to HURRY, those other two teams are almost finished pyramid stacking!" Zim says: "Just need to use the last of my alien welding technology, and THAT should do it!" The Silver Snakes and the Blue Barracudas look at it! Fee says: "Isn't it great?!" Squidward sarcastically says: "Oh, YES! You'll be the ABSOLUTE talk of the town with this GORGEOUS Princess tower! Why, I bet YOUR friend who's actually NAMED Princess, will be TOTALLY jealous of THAT!" Harvey asks: "Are you making FUN of my girlfriend?" Squidward groans, and he says: "Some guys are just so TOUCHY!" Bulma says: "So, what happens now?" Kowalski says: "Well, Aang, Daggett, Private and I, will run to the top of the tower, with the mock torch, and light up the big torch through the window!" Blonda says: "Wow! That sounds like a GREAT plan! But there's a TEENSY thing wrong with it; there's no DOOR to go into the TOWER!!!!" Kitty Katswell says: "Are YOU saying you two penguins made us go through ALL that trouble, and you DIDN'T think to include a DOOR into the Tower?!"

Private looks flustered, and he nervously says: "Well, maybe if we build a pretty, pink, Princess CASTLE..." And Bulma and Zarbon dope-slap Kowalski and Private simultaneously for NOT thinking their plan through! Meanwhile, the pyramid stacking is all finished! Tigress grabs the mock torch, and she says: "Okay, it's time to WIN this thing!" Snaptrap says: "Those CHEATERS are going to WIN! Help ME cheat to win!" Taotie says: "We're out of time! We're out of options!" Aang says: "Not quite! I'll win ONE way or another!" Dudley says: "But AANG, you CAN'T fly!" Aang says: "It's NOT flying, it's AIR BENDING!!!! I'll show YOU who is the strongest, TIGRESS!!!!" Aang quickly propels himself upward with the mock torch in his mouth, while Tigress quickly leaps up the pyramid with her mock torch! General Barracuda says: "It's going to be close! Here it COMES!!!!" And in super slow motion, Tigress and Aang both descend to light up the giant torch first, with Tigress just BARELY lighting the torch first, causing Aang to scream: "NO!!!!" And they both land on the ground at the same time! But as Aang lands, the Pretty Pink Princess Tower FALLS on top of him! Aang, muffled, shouts: "Okay! When I found out WHO forgot to put in the SUPPORT beams to keep that tower UP, they are SO getting voted OFF!!!!" And Kowalski and Private just whistle nervously! Sniz says: "And it's over, it's all over! The Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars have won immunity! That means that one of you can go into the Temple, and--." Tigress screams: "ME!!!!" Sniz says: "Okay, but you NEED a Pendant of Life to--." Tigress says: "I WON'T need it, IF the Temple Guards have any BRAINS!!!!" Sniz says: "Okay! We'll put THREE minutes on the clock, and GO!!!!"

And Tigress takes off like a rocket, merely SMASHING her way through EVERY single door, and not a SINGLE Temple Guard comes out to try to grab her, and she REACHES the Shrine Of The Silver Monkey in FIFTEEN seconds, and bolts straight for the proper exit, and reaches the exit in ONLY THIRTY seconds of the THREE minute total! Sniz says: "That...was the FASTEST and most UNEVENTFUL temple run in the HISTORY of temple runs! Where were all the Temple GUARDS?!" Olmec says: "Apparently, the Temple Guards were in the rooms to the left, below, and diagonally below the Shrine of The Silver Monkey." Sniz says: "Those were the ONLY three rooms where Tigress wouldn't have LOGICALLY have gone! What were you Temple Guards DOING hiding in THOSE rooms!" A wimpy voice says: "She SCARES us!!!!" Sniz says: "She is ONE contestant! YOU are THREE Temple Guards, and you DIDN'T do your jobs! Look, because we have a schedule to keep, I'll let it SLIDE this time! But next time, you BETTER do your jobs, if you want to earn a paycheck! You can all guard the SAME room for all I care, just do your jobs! Tigress, you, the Red Jaguars, and the Green Monkeys, have all won luxury suite hotel rooms, for the remainder of the season!" Tigress says: "Thank you! And Aang?!" Aang asks: "What?!" Tigress says: "I TOLD you I'd WIN!!!! See you at the LOSER trailers! Oh, wait! No, I WON'T!!!!" And Tigress rushes off to get her stuff, and get them into a hotel room! And Aang says: "I HATE her!" Sniz says: "Silver Snakes, Blue Barracudas, what can I say? Today was NOT a good day to be EITHER of you! Unpack your stuff, and get ready for tonight's elimination ceremony. One member from BOTH teams will be eliminated tonight!"

(Confessional) Squidward asks: "Okay, just out of curiosity, can I vote for NINE losers instead of TWO?! Because with the exception of Bubble Bass, everyone else on MY team was COMPLETELY USELESS!" / Bubble Bass says: "We did NOT get on the right foot at ALL in terms of starting this half of a season! Luckily for us, it's not about how you start something, it's about how you finish it! While there were a LOT of contributing factors to consider, at least Squidward actually HELPED us build the tower! If it hadn't have been for the suggestion and building planning of Private and Kowalski respectively, Squidward could've built us something that could've actually WORKED! I'm going to tell everyone else to vote the TWO of them off tonight! It's the most logical move we can MAKE at this junction!" (End Confessional) The Silver Snakes, and the Blue Barracudas are at a Tiki themed elimination ceremony. Sniz says: "Welcome to the first Elimination Ceremony of this half-season. And while I'm fully well-aware that the ORIGINAL Legends Of The Hidden Temple didn't really HAVE Elimination Ceremonies, we added it in, so that we could make the show more interesting! This season, we have made the voting a little different. You will each be given an electronic voting pad to vote with. Once you have selected the contestants you want to have voted off, confirm your selections by tapping on their icons, than slide a miniature Pendant Of Life into the Coin Slot! Once all the votes are tallied, the contestants who are safe, will receive a Pendant Of Life, that has a NICE chocolate treat inside! And don't worry, Chameleon! We made SURE to have Wanda wish for Dudley and ANYONE else this season, to be able to eat chocolate! Be sure to vote for two contestants, but only ONE from both teams! Once the eliminated contestants have been decided, they will have to board the Mine Cart Of Shame, which will go into the Mine Shaft of Losers! What's the twist, you ask?! That Mine Shaft is a portal to POTENTIALLY anywhere, and it will CHANGE it's destination after every single elimination, so there's no TELLING where you might end up! With that being said, it's time to VOTE!"

Everyone quickly grabs their voting pads, and quickly make their two selections! Sniz says: "It's time to reveal who is safe to play in another game! Aang, Daggett, Haggis, Zim, Kitty, surprisingly Snaptrap, Sway-Sway, Harvey, surprisingly Kaput, Blonda, surprisingly Taotie, Gonard, Dudley, surprisingly Zarbon AND Bulma, Chameleon, Fee, Johnny Krill, Bubble Bass, Yakety Yak!" Kowalski, Private, and Squidward tense up, as they are the ONLY contestants left! Sniz says: "Contestant's, this is the FINAL Pendant Of Life for this evening!" Squidward looks nervously, while Kowalski decides to hold Private's hand, in the assurance that at least ONE of them will be safe! Sniz says: "And I'm surprised by this, but it goes to, SQUIDWARD!" Squidward says: "You are SO lucky you two DIDN'T get me eliminated!" Kowalski says: "I don't understand! Statistically, this is against all odds!" Bulma says: "I'll just have you know that if you had followed one of MY plans, you wouldn't be LEAVING right now!" Snaptrap says: "Chalk that up to the last mistake YOU two will ever make on a game show; good LUCK trying to get on this show again, which you won't!" Private says: "At least we KNOW that we don't have to worry about anyone ELSE trying to backstab us! I'm banking on YOUR team's complete inability to work together to completely DESTROY one another, metaphorically speaking of course!" Sniz says: "Kowalski and Private, time to come to the Mine Cart." They do so, and they strap on helmets and safety gear. Sniz says: "All your gear has been packed in there. Buckle up!" They do so, and they brace themselves! Sniz says: "Ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!"

Sniz says: "3, 2, 1, BLAST-OFF!!!!" And the Mine-Cart LITERALLY rockets down the rail track, and THROUGH the mysterious Mine Shaft portal! Sniz says: "Good-bye, you flightless birds! I have NO idea WHERE you're going! Well, that's two contestants down, and 42 contestants left to go! Who will be the next set of contestants to get eliminated? That's anyone's guess! All I know is, the next Legend will be even MORE fun than this one! So tune in for another episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "Tell them that Olmec set you!" / Stinger: A portal opens in the MIDDLE of Antarctica, and Kowalski and Private arrive through it! Kowalski says: "Well, this is INDEED a lucky turn of events, we're back on our home continent!" Private says: "Antarctica! Beautiful, lovely Antarctica! Home of walrus', seals, killer whales, a million OTHER penguins that look a LOT like us, and the occasional scientist!" The two penguins listen to the wind blow for a few moments, before Kowalski says: "Well, THIS stinks!" Private says: "Well, you can't win them all." / And the episode ends! /
Episode Notes: The half-season premiere of "Total Cartoon Legends", and of four teams, The Red Jaguars, the Green Monkeys, the Blue Barracudas, and the Silver Snakes. Featured songs in this episode; Smash Mouth's "All Star" (returning as the normal episode open), Janet Jackson's "If", and The Beatles "We Can Work It Out". Kowalski and Private become the first two contestants to be voted off during this half-season. Eliminated Contestants: 44. Kowalski. 43. Private. Remaining Contestants: Aang, Silver Snakes. Daggett Beaver, Silver Snakes. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Judy Funny, Red Jaguars. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Haggis McHaggis, Silver Snakes. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Darwin, Green Monkeys. Invader Zim, Silver Snakes. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Green Monkeys. Kitty Katswell, Silver Snakes. Verminious J. Snaptrap, Silver Snakes. Sway-Sway, Blue Barracudas. Harvey Beaks, Blue Barracudas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Kaput, Silver Snakes. Heffer Wolfe, Red Jaguars. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Monster Krumholtz, Green Monkeys. Blonda, Silver Snakes. Taotie, Silver Snakes. Tigress, Red Jaguars. Gonard, Blue Barracudas. Po, Green Monkeys. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Blue Barracudas. Zarbon, Blue Barracudas. Bulma Briefs, Silver Snakes. Chameleon, Blue Barracudas. Fee, Blue Barracudas. Johnny Krill, Red Jaguars. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Blue Barracudas. Yakety Yak, Blue Barracudas. Squidward Tentacles, Blue Barracudas. /
Personal Notes: While I personally enjoyed watching "The Penguins Of Madagascar", for some reason trying to translate the antics and personality of the PENGUINS, into seasons of this show, was like the equivalent of trying to perform a ROOT Canal BLINDFOLDED; hard, and a TOTAL mess! Besides, I felt like I had already written everything I could write about the penguins. The only real reason why Kowalski and Private returned THIS season, besides being EMBARRASSINGLY eliminated first, was to show EVERYONE else that despite the fact that the two of them managed to get pretty FAR during the last half-season, one even making the Final Two, this half-season is going to be a LOT harder, and will have a LOT more twists than what THEY were used to! It sort of sets the bar on what everyone ELSE can expect for the rest of this half-season! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

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I'm gearing myself up for the upcoming Spin-Off festival (in case you couldn't tell), and I'm ready to go with my newest episode of "Total Cartoon Legends!" I hope you enjoy it! / Sniz is standing on the Steps Of Knowledge, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Legends, 42 contestants from various different season/s of our show, met up with each other, and our two new-comers, Squidward Tentacles, and Yakety Yak! Squidward made sure NOBODY, with the possible EXCEPTION of Spongebob, KNEW where Squidward stood, in terms of how he viewed Spongebob! Hot-headed Tigress, on the other hand, managed to keep her grudge MOSTLY to herself! Deciding that it would be FAR better for her to win immunity WITH Spongebob, than causing both HIM and her to lose together, Tigress decided to forego eliminating Spongebob. Meanwhile, the Silver Snakes absolutely could NOT work together, and the ideas of Kowalski and Private, only made things worse. In the end, the Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars prevailed, while the Silver Snakes and the Blue Barracudas, LITERALLY, decided to give Kowalski and Private, the MINE Shaft! Now there are 42 contestants left, and we will soon see just what SIDES of our contestants that they will make public, and the ones that they will try to keep private!" Olmec says: "It is LITERALLY a page-turning adventure!" Sniz says: "That's right, Olmec, and our story opens up on a brand new challenge, and a brand new episode, for Total Cartoon Legends!" /

Instead of the normal show open, it shows the previous villainous exploits of Aang, Daggett, Haggis, Zim, Kitty, Blonda, Taotie, Zarbon, Bulma and Squidward, while The Who hit song "Behind Blue Eyes" plays over the montage. / Pete Townshend sings: "No one knows what it's like to be the bad man. To be the sad man behind blue eyes. No one knows what it's like to be hated. To be fated, to telling only lies. But my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be. I have hours, only lonely. My love is vengeance that's never free. No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings like I do. And I blame you. No one bites back as hard on their anger. None of my pain and woe can show through. But my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be. I have hours, only lonely. My love is vengeance that's never free. When my fist clenches, crack it open; before I use it and lose my cool. When I smile, tell me some bad news, before I laugh and act like a fool. And if I swallow anything evil, put your finger down my throat. And if I shiver, please give me a blanket. Keep me warm, let me wear your coat. No one knows what it's like, to be the bad man. To be the sad man, behind blue eyes." / And the song and montage ends. /

"The Legend Of The Lost Manuscript of Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde". / In the luxury hotel room suites, the Red Jaguars and the Green Monkeys are still sleeping peacefully. All, oddly ENOUGH, except for Tigress, who seems to be experiencing a VERY troubling dream! Thanks to the magic of the Fairy Godparents, we get to SEE what it is! In the dream, it is raining heavily, and lightning keeps striking down on the Earth every few seconds! A disembodied voice says: "You ate me..." Tigress says: "No! It can't be!" The voice grows louder, and it says: "You ate me..." Tigress says: "It's NOT possible! It COULDN'T be HIM!!!!" And the voice yells: "YOU ATE ME!!!!" And a GIGANTIC version of Master Coelaceanth rises out of the ground! Tigress says: "You CAN'T be real! I finished you off! You HAVE no body!" Master Coelaceanth shrinks down to normal size, and says: "That's the PROBLEM, isn't it, Tigress? I HAVE no body, and it's ALL your fault! If you hadn't have eaten me, I wouldn't be STUCK here right now!" Tigress says: "Stuck where?!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Isn't it obvious? Inside of YOUR body. Yes, you DID destroy MY body, which was VERY painful to feel being DIGESTED despite the fact that I was undead! And yet, my soul STILL remains stuck inside of YOU! You may have destroyed my body, but I cannot REST in peace, and it's ALL your fault!" Tigress defiantly says: "So what do YOU want out of ME?! I don't owe you ANYTHING!" Master Coealceanth chuckles menacingly, and says: "Oh, yes, you DO! What if I told you, I could take away the ONE thing YOU care about the most! The...'Love', that Po seems to HAVE for you! You are a STRONG spirit, but even YOU can't keep up your GUARD 24/7! The moment you show a sign of WEAKNESS, your BODY, will be MINE!" Tigress says: "You LIE! Master Coealaceanth!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Am I? Perhaps you'd like a refresher course from General Barracuda! I'm SURE he still regrets the feelings I made him FEEL when I KILLED Ambrosia, and made him feel like it was ALL HIS FAULT!!!! Why, what would Master Shifu THINK, if he thought that YOU, KILLED the DRAGON WARRIOR?!"

Tigress says: "I wouldn't let you! This is MY mind, and I want you OUT!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Think about it! Where could I possibly go? Even if by SOME miracle, you DID oust me out, my spirit could simply find another, more WILLING vessel to share! Suppose I take up residence in PO himself?! There is NOTHING more satisfying, than...ALWAYS hurting the ONE you LOVE!!!!" Tigess says: "NO!!!! I would do ANYTHING for love, but I won't do THAT!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Than what ARE you willing to do, Tigress? You WANT to be rid of me, and I certainly don't want to be STUCK inside of YOU, and it's not because you're a woman!" Tigress says: "What is it, than?!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, you ARE constantly surly, AND the pizza you ate last night was COLD!" Tigress says: "Well, all I want to know is, what do YOU want?! I want to know EXACTLY what you're up to before I make a decision about anything!" Master Coelaceanth says: "I want to UTTERLY humiliate and BREAK Spongebob Squarepants' SPIRIT! The world WILL learn to fear the name of Master Coelaceanth again! And honestly, I need your help!" Tigress says: "And what if I refuse?! What THAN?!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Do you WANT to go BACK to being the FRIGHTENED little girl who could NEVER fight back against HER father or beat him at ANYTHING?! The one who ALWAYS came in LAST, like AANG?!" And Master Coelaceanth SNAPS his fin fingers, and opens a magical window into the real where Aang is sleeping, and Master Coelaceanth DUMPS him into the trash, even from WITHIN Tigress' own mind, as a demonstration of the power he STILL has! Tigress gasps in horror, and she says: "Well, NO!!!!" Master Coelaceanth says: "I KNEW you'd help me! Now, let's make one thing clear; as long as you cooperate with me, I will let you have CONTROL of your own body and you can compete however you'd like! BUT; if you as so much try to speak, write, or communicate in ANY way that I am inside of your body...well, let's just say if that YOU think just having ME inside of you is BAD, imagine how much WORSE it would be if I took full control!"

Tigress says: "Fine! So let's eliminate Spongebob so you can be DONE with this!" Master Coelaceanth screams: "I can't DO THAT!!!! That MISERABLE sponge?! He MUST suffer! My species has managed to dominate for 65 million years LONGER than HIS ever have, and I will not let that EMBARRASSMENT of a species, make a MOCKERY of me! If WE want to eliminate the sponge, we must FIRST go through the PAWNS! We'll make Spongebob SQUIRM by voting off ANY contestant that could help him stand up to me ONE by ONE! And we will START with Kaput and Johnny Krill!" Tigress asks: "Why those two?" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, for starters, they are the MOST unstable and unpredictable elements in this entire season! We can't afford to deal with such random elements THIS season! Therefore, you will make SURE to get THOSE two eliminated at your EARLIEST convenience!" Tigress says: "I'll help you ONLY under ONE condition; you have to UTTERLY promise, no matter how much you are tempted to, you and I can NEVER harm Po!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Does he REALLY mean that much to you?" Tigress says: "He's not just my boyfriend, he's my BEST friend...and by the end of THIS season, he may be the ONLY one I've GOT! And if YOU ever harm Po, I DON'T care what it TAKES, I will find a way to DESTROY you FOREVER!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Fine! What is that nonsense you always say? 'Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a pizza in my mouth'?" Tigress says: "Close enough!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, I CAN'T cross my heart; unless I cross yours, and I can't hope to die, I've already DONE that! But, I promise that I will NEVER harm Po...EVER!" Tigress says: "Fine! Than we have a deal!" /

The dream ends, and Tigress wakes up! Po is right next to her, and he asks: "Tigress, what's wrong?" Tigress, remembering what Master Coelaceanth said, and deciding NOT to risk it, shakes her head, and she says: "Nothing! Nothing's wrong! Just, probably some indigestion from the pizza I ate!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Am I worried about what a slippery slope this is?! I just LIED to Po! Granted, I did it to protect him, but of COURSE I'm worried about this! And I wonder, how all the OTHER contestants would fare, if THEY had to deal with this?! I'm not sure any of them would have the fortitude! But as long as I can keep control of the situation, I can STILL be in control! I'm NOT giving up without a FIGHT!" (End Confessional) Meanwhile, in the trailers that the Blue Barracudas and the Silver Snakes are forced to share, Aang has called all the remaining contestants over for a meeting. Aang says: "Okay, show of hands, who wanted to MESS up the LAST challenge?!" And everyone is taken aback by this! Aang says: "Really? No volunteers? Than maybe I should volunteer a random STRANGER!!!!" Daggett says: "Why are you talking like that?" Haggis says: "Blame Tigress! Ever since SHE reminded Aang of all his failures, WE are now STUCK with General McNUT job again!" Aang says: "NUTS?! I'll tell YOU, 'Nuts'! SOME of us in the Silver Snakes, are some of the most DIABOLICAL masterminds of the ENTIRE Nicktoon Universe, so how in the actual HELL could we POSSIBLY LOSE to SUCH NIMRODS?!!!"

Bulma says: "Just FYI, STILL a totally AVAILABLE beauty of a GENIUS, who could HELP with such problems!" Aang says: "A GENIUS, you say?! You've just GOT yourself my interest!" (Confessional) Aang laughs, and he says: "I don't know where SHE comes from; but in MY experience, you NEVER openly advertise your talents, unless you're Orlando Bloom! But it's like she's ASKING for somebody to EXPLOIT her! Of course, I'm perfectly willing to DO that! And if her plans fail, I'll dump her! No skin off of my nose!" / Bulma scoffs, and she says: "Of COURSE I know that Aang is TRYING to play me! I'm LETTING him think that he IS playing me! Besides, it's not like I have much better options on the table! Aang is one of the FEW contestants who didn't personally witness what I did in season three, so he is a blank slate, totally susceptible to MY ideas! I'm not saying that I'm GOING to eliminate him, I would rather prefer it if he could be useful! But if push comes to shove, I WILL vote him off! I just hope it comes LATER, rather than sooner!" (End Confessional) Bulma says: "Here's how it will work, Aang. As soon as I know what the challenge is, I will come up with a FOOL-Proof plan that's SO complete, not even TAOTIE can BLOW it!" Taotie says: "What's THAT supposed to mean?! I'm playing with a FULL deck of cards this time! Besides, you happen to be forgetting the BIGGEST problem on why we lost last time, we simply didn't WORK together!" Kitty says: "Oh! So now the guy who BACKSTABS me in season three wants to WORK together? Good luck with THAT!" Taotie says: "In MY defense, by the point I eliminated you out of the game, you were already BECOMING a liability by NOT getting rid of your irrational hatred of Chameleon! We just decided to cut our losses sooner, rather than later! Look, if you can PROMISE not to irrationally hate another contestant, maybe WE can promise not to UNFAIRLY vote you off so early!"

Kitty rolls her eyes, and says: "Fine! I promise! I just hope that YOU will keep YOUR end of the deal!" Taotie laughs and he says: "Just ask Harvey Beaks! I ALWAYS honor MY deals; EXACT words!" Harvey says: "To be fair, he's NOT wrong! He WILL honor a deal, EXACT words!" (Confessional) Kitty says: "Did I WANT to make a promise to Taotie? Of COURSE not! But, I'm also NOT willing to be eliminated BEFORE the first Performance Review of a season, AGAIN! So, if I have to swallow my pride, and not irrationally hate someone, I can do that! Just so long as it gets me one step closer to the Final Five!" / Taotie says: "Look, I'm not at all proud of the sabotaging I USED to do when I was a villain, I feel somewhat filthy about it, to be honest. I gave warthogs like myself a bad name. At least now, I can put my genius to good use! If I can help us to WORK together, it would totally SHOW Tigress just how much SMARTER I can be, when I use my brain RATIONALLY!" / Harvey Beaks says: "Reformed? Maybe. But there's no way that I could believe that he's TAMED! Kitty can trust Taotie if SHE wants to! I'm staying away as FAR as possible! There's no way I'm getting burned by the same guy TWICE!" (End Confessional) Squidward says: "Contestants, we're ALL forgetting the MAJOR reason we lost LAST time!" Bubble Bass groans and sarcastically says: "Oh, it must be Spongebob." Squidward says: "It's ALWAYS SPONGEBOB!!!! If he WASN'T there to form the top of the pyramid, THEY would have LOST!" Invader Zim asks: "Would you rather have such LOSERS like Kowalski and Private still within our RANKS?!" Kaput says: "And HE'S supposed to be the CRAZY alien!" Zim says: "At LEAST I'm not a saboteur like you!" Kaput says: "Get SERIOUS! You WISH you were as GOOD at invasions as I am!" Zim says: "At least I actually GOT a come-back movie! Where's YOURS?!" Snaptrap says: "OOH, BURN!!!!" Kaput says: "Like I'm worried! I out-lasted Zim LAST time, I can do it AGAIN! No contest!" Blonda says: "And THIS is where he tempts fate!"

Gonard says: "You KNOW about that?!" Blonda says: "I practically wrote the BOOK on that!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I don't know WHY they can't see it! We get RID of Spongebob, we win ALL the rest of the challenges, and I win the season finale! It's a win-win...except for Spongebob, but I don't care!" / Sway-Sway says: "I'm not sure if Squidward realizes this, but for someone who SAYS they don't CARE about Spongebob, Squidward SURE seems fixated on spending a LOT of time thinking about Spongebob!" Buhdeuce says: "I haven't seen a guy be AS fixated on ANOTHER guy, as much as T. Midi fixates on our bread deliveries!" Sway-Sway says: "You said it, Buhdeuce!" / Bubble Bass groans, and he says: "I'm SERIOUSLY thinking about RESIGNING from Squidward's 'We Hate Spongebob' Group! I mean, I only JOINED for the Free Food, anyways!" / Kaput says: "If Zim WANTS sabotage, I'll give HIM sabotage, and I will make it be ALL his fault! He will see that when you MESS with the MASTER, you will ALWAYS get BURNED!" / Zim says: "The way I see it, it's a Win-Win situation. If we win, Kaput's plan to sabotage us will FAIL, and he will look SO bad, the rest of us will vote him off the NEXT time we lose! If we lose, I'll make sure HE gets all the blame and gets voted off! Kaput will find out the HARD way, that there IS such a thing as BAD publicity!" / Blonda says: "I have seen EVERY single Chuck Jones and Rudy Larriva 'Wily E. Coyote' cartoon at least once, and I know for a fact that no matter how HARD Wily E. Coyote tries, he NEVER gets to eat the Road Runner! Mostly because that would END the series, but that's besides the point! The point is, if Kaput is tempting fate, is SO asking for trouble!" / Gonard says: "So Blonda's a book writer? Huh! Who knew?!" (End Confessional) Suddenly, everyone hears a Gong ring!

Over the loud-speakers, Sniz says: "Attention Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars, Kowalski and Private were eliminated during the last Elimination Challenge! Also, please come to the Moat to hear about today's Legendary challenge! That is all!" Spongebob says: "So, are they starting to ANNOUNCE who got eliminated before we physically find out? I have to wonder, why would they do that?" Treeflower physically shivers, and she says: "I'll tell you WHY; it's to put FEAR into all of us! Kowalski and Private BOTH made it to the Final Five LAST time, and they were STILL the first two voted off THIS time! Do you have ANY idea what THAT means?" Stimpy says: "I do, but I'll still let YOU tell everybody!" Treeflower says: "It means that potentially ANYONE could be eliminated at any given time, no matter HOW good you are! If we are going to keep everyone on this team safe, we will HAVE to play at the top of our game, no matter what!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "Going into this, I knew it wasn't going to be an easy ride, but I certainly never thought that two heavy hitters would be eliminated right off the bat! And while I'm pretty confidant about my own skills, I've got the whole REST of my team that I have to concern myself with! Even though we're SUPPOSEDLY the ones with the MOST brains, there's STILL only ONE team of us, and three other teams to contend with! And since we have no team merge anywhere NEAR on the horizon, everybody will have to stay out the same pace! Otherwise, we'll HAVE to vote them off, no matter WHO they might be! Personally, I hope I do well enough to AVOID having such a distinction!" / Stimpy says: "In previous seasons, I NEVER had to worry about being by myself! I ALWAYS had Ren and/or Lil to watch my back and help me! But now that Ren's in jail, and Lil has to watch our kids...I...miss...having...someone...to...help me." / Spongebob says: "Personally, I can't say that I'll MISS Kowalski and Private; MOSTLY because Skipper went out of his WAY to get ME eliminated in season three, he OUTRIGHT sold me out to save his OWN skin! I mean, who DOES that?! I don't like to say this, but I'm actually GLAD that they are gone! At least I don't have to worry about getting back-stabbed by a traitorous bird, AGAIN!" (End Confessional)

The contestants suit up in their team colors, and head for the moat! Sniz says: "Welcome, to the second challenge of this half-season! Once again, we have the Red Jaguars! The Green Monkeys! The Blue Barracudas! And the Silver Snakes! You will have to go through three challenges! And in the end, only two contestants can brave the Temple! But first, Olmec will tell us what today's legend will be!" Olmec says: "Today's legend is, the Lost Manuscript of Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde!" Sniz says: "And no, folks, that was NOT a typo, there really ISN'T a 'The', before the rest of the title of the book! That's pretty, STRANGE by itself, isn't it?!" General Barracuda rolls his eyes, and says: "I've heard BETTER jokes from some of the DARKEST Marvel movies!" Sniz asks: "What do YOU have to complain about? You're getting paid, you have your daughter, one of your son's, and your Daughter-In-Law competing! Statistically speaking, your family has a 1 in 14 chance of winning!" Otto asks: "Winning what exactly?!" Sniz says: "I KNEW I was forgetting to tell you something the LAST time you competed! Yes, there IS a grand prize at the end of the season! With 44 contestants total, we're offering ANOTHER $44.44 million as the grand prize!" Gerald asks: "Will there be other prizes as well?" Sniz says: "Sure! Second place will take $42 million, third place will take $41 million, and fourth place will take $40 million!" Otto says: "Pretty fair prizes, if I do say so myself!" Sniz says: "Now, here's how today's moat challenge is going to work! Since this story takes place in 19th century London, England, the Moat will be filled, with a thick London fog. To get through the fog, one contestant will row with a lantern across the moat, to get to the other side. They must send the lantern back to another contestant before they can cross! The order the teams cross, will determine which order they get to answer the questions on the Steps of Knowledge!" Sandy says: "I thought the last two FINISHING teams were supposed to be eliminated!"

Sniz says: "In the original Legends of The Hidden Temple, sure! But, we only have FOUR teams this time, so we had to modify it a little bit! And remember, you have NO idea which team you'll be getting paired up with today! So prepare for ANYTHING, and be sure to have FUN with it! Red Jaguars, and Green Monkeys, since you both have 1 more contestant than the other teams, you will have to sit someone out." Unexpectedly, Tigress steps first and says: "Uh, I'm still feeling a little queasy over the pizza I ate last night. I'd better sit this one out." Pearl asks: "Tigress, what are you SAYING?! You NEVER miss a chance to compete!" Heard in her mind and by the television audience, but NOT by any of the contestants, Master Coelaceanth says: "She's RIGHT, you know! Is THIS how you PLAN on making any headway towards eliminating WORTHLESS losers?!" Out loud, Tigress says: "I'm merely saving my strength for later, when it will be more useful!" (Confessional) Pearl says: "Something is OFF, and I can feel it! The other day, Tigress was absolutely CHOMPING at the bits to compete! She's NEVER turned down a chance to compete before! Either way, something smells FISHY around here, and I don't mean my half-brother, Bubble Bass!" / Tigress says: "Of course the pizza isn't bothering me! I just need to be able to come up with a plan that's all my OWN, and DOESN'T involve ANYONE else; and it's very hard to do that when you have to focus on a challenge!" / Gerald says: "$44.44 million? Can you imagine the kind of swag I could buy with that?!" (End Confessional) The Green Monkeys huddle together, and Keswick says: "I'll sit out this part of the challenge." Sniz says: "Very well. The two contestants for this part of the challenge will be chosen at random for each team. For the Red Jaguars, we'll have Otto, and Johnny Krill! For the Green Monkeys, we'll have Marlene, and Stimpy! For the Blue Barracudas, we'll have Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce! And for the Silver Snakes, we'll have Aang and Kaput!" Kaput says: "Yes! Vindication is MINE!"

Blonda asks: "But what ARE you vindicating? That's the question that I would like to have answered!" Kaput says: "I hope you don't expect me to dignify that with an actual response!" Super Chum says: "Of COURSE she wouldn't! That would IMPLY that you HAVE something that even REMOTELY resembles as being DIGNIFYING!" Darwin says: "Ooh, BURN!!!!" Kaput asks: "Why are YOU here again?!" Super Chum says: "I finished up my work in Antarctica! With the prize money, I figure I could use it to help clean up the various garbage patches that are in the ocean, and restore some coral reefs!" Kaput asks: "Do you EVER get tired of being such a goody-goody do-gooder?!" Wally says: "Maybe you ought to TRY it sometimes! It might help out your personality...what little of it there IS!" (Confessional) Wally says: "Oh, there's GOOD in Kaput SOMEWHERE! I'm SURE it exists! It probably just takes a while to travel from his head to his fist!" / Blonda says: "If someone is unable to answer me a valid question about themselves, that means they don't even know everything about themselves! And honestly, it's a little tragic, to be perfectly honest. Before I met Bubble Bass, I thought I knew everything there WAS to know about myself! But after meeting him, and having to endure nine months as a...fish, it made me re-evaluate my life, and it made me realize that there's a lot more to life than simply being a blonde beauty...I could become a character actress like Bette Davis did, for starters! I may have given up my immortality, but it will still be quite a while before I go anywhere! I've got a good 84 years ahead with Bubble Bass, and I intend to make the most of them!" / Super Chum says: "It isn't always easy, but the mark of a true superhero, is that they don't DO good things in order to get THEMSELVES attention, they do good things because they're the RIGHT thing to do! I mean, if the so-called Bad Guys from the animated movie of the same name can have a redemption arc; who's to say it couldn't happen to just about anybody?!" / Kaput says: "Nobody's ever called ME out about not being GOOD at anything, not even at being good! But how does one BECOME, 'Good'? That's a concept I've NEVER fully considered! I never thought I'd say this, but, I think I might have to consult some serious help!" (End Confessional) Kaput says: "Say, Daggett? How in the world did YOU ever become good?!"

Daggett sputters, and he asks: "Are you NUTS?! That would imply that I was ever really BAD! So I got a little upset with Norbert and Daggett a couple of times during some Performance Reviews, so SUE me! I don't think that makes ME a BAD beaver! Why, when Norbert and Treeflower need SOMEONE to babysit their kids, they say I do a GREAT job of doing that! You want to ask someone on how to NOT be bad and be good, I suggest you ask Zarbon and Bulma! But ask them AFTER the Moat Challenge, so they're NOT distracted!" Kaput says: "Good call!" (Confessional) Daggett says: "I'm not saying that I've ALWAYS done the right thing! Do you know how GOOD you have to be to DO the right thing ALL the time?! You'd have to be like, the level of Mother Theresa Good in order to do that! But I'm certainly more moral than Zim and Kaput, that's for sure! And at the rate that THEY are acting, I'm sure to outlast THOSE two nutjobs!" / Kaput grabs out a notepad, and he writes on it, while saying: "Note to self; NEVER ask a deluded idiot for ADVICE! Ask someone with ACTUAL experience instead!" (End Confessional)

Otto asks: "Johnny, I've never PERSONALLY seen you in action. How good are you at sports?" Johnny says: "You've come to the right, prawn, my man! Tigress may have SHEER muscle! But I've got speed and coolness! With coolness on my side, I will NEVER lose!" Otto says: "You remind me a LOT of Twister that way!" Johnny says: "Funny, Tigress said the same thing, before she became UNCOOL!" And Tigress just growls angrily! (Confessional) Tigress says: "Regardless of anything else that happens, I might just HAVE to eliminate Johnny Krill PURELY on principle!" / Otto says: "I sure hope Johnny can back up his words with some actions! I'll NEED it for our team to dominate THIS challenge!" / Johnny says: "I know getting Tigress riled up probably isn't the WISEST move in the world! But after ALL the belittling and bereavement she put ME through during Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, that girl DESERVES it!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "It's time for our contestants to begin their journey across the moat!" Otto, Marlene, Sway-Sway, and Aang are all in their canoes, holding onto their oar with one hand, and holding the lantern on the suspended rope pulley system with another! Sniz says: "On your marks, get set, GO!" And Aang, and Otto, shoot off like a rocket, quickly powering their way across the moat with sheer speed, while Marlene and Sway-Sway have to STRUGGLE to catch up, as Aang and Otto are already sending their lanterns back across to their team-mates! Marlene and Sway-Sway finally make it across, and begin to send their lanterns back, but it's practically in vain, as Kaput and Johnny Krill BOTH make it across the Moat with their lanterns, before Stimpy and Buhdeuce can even get in the water! Sniz says: "And the first part of the contest is over! Since the Red Jaguars and Silver Snakes finished first, they will be teamed up together for THIS challenge!" Johnny Krill says: "So THAT'S how it's going to work? Very good to know!" Sniz says: "Green Monkeys and Blue Barracudas, YOU will be paired up together for this challenge by default!" Spongebob says: "Isn't that GREAT, Squidward, we get to work together for a CHALLENGE!!!!"

Squidward MERELY takes a lantern off of the pulley system, hands it to Bubble Bass, and Squidward says: "Do me a favor, and PLEASE hit me as hard as you can with this lantern!" Bubble Bass THROWS the lantern down and he says: "I am NOT going to do THAT! I don't know WHAT kind of problem you have with Spongebob Squarepants, but GET over it! If we're going to have ANY chance of WINNING this challenge, we will HAVE to get along together!" Squidward says: "How can I put this? I would rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass, than SPEND one more minute, with HIM! I'd rather get a 100,000 paper cuts on my face, than SPEND one more minute with HIM! I'd RATHER rip out my intestines with a fork, than hang out with THAT man! I'd rather slam my tentacles in a door, AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN! Can't you see what I'm TRYING to say Bubble Bass? I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches, shove an ice-pick under a toenail or TWO, I'd rather clean all the bathrooms at LAX with my TONGUE, than spend one more minute with him! I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumb-tacks, or stick my nostrils together with Krazy Glue! I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades, than spend one more minute with him! I'd rather rip my heart out of my rib cage with my bare tentacles, and than throw it on the floor and stomp on it UNTIL I die...than spend one more minute with HIM!!!!" Spongebob asks: "You DON'T want to spend time with me?!" Squidward sputters, and he says: "Of COURSE I don't want to spend TIME with you! What do you THINK I had JUST been quoting Weird Al Yankovic's 'One More Minute' for?!" Spongebob sniffles, and he cries: "WAAH!!!!" Bubble Bass yells: "STOP DOING THAT!!!!" Squidward says: "Like YOU'RE so much better! You once gave Spongebob a Heroic BSOD when you made him think that he DIDN'T include the pickles that one time!" Bubble Bass says: "First off, I only DID that because the writers DEMANDED it! Second, I couldn't have anticipated Spongebob would GO into a Heroic BSOD! At least I never hurt his feelings like THAT again!"

Squidward says: "I'll be SO glad when WE lose; that way, I can FINALLY vote off Spongebob and END this misery!" Bubble Bass asks: "Oh, is THAT so?!" Squidward says: "Yes, that's SO!" Bubble Bass gets a devious smile, and he says: "Have it YOUR way, Squidward, but just REMEMBER, I HAVE bubble powers, I can USE them any time I WANT, and even if THAT weren't a factor, I DID win Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, and if you DON'T straighten up your act and at LEAST be civil to Spongebob, I can tell EVERYONE to vote YOU off instead; and Spongebob will spend the rest of his life HATING you, thereby depriving you of the ONLY guy in the ENTIRE ocean, who STILL has a SMIDGE of RESPECT for you!" Squidward asks: "You'd STOP respecting me?!" Bubble Bass says: "You're already half-way there in MY books!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "Let's see; PROS to keeping Spongebob on, Bubble Bass won't tell anyone to vote me off...and...that's ALL I can think of! CONS to keeping Spongebob on, he ANNOYS me, he IRRITATES me, he won't take a HINT, and he makes me SO distracted from making an artistic and/or musical masterpiece, that I can't see straight! Can I take a third option?!" / Bubble Bass says: "If Squidward were REALLY capable of creating SUCH a great artistic and/or musical piece, he would've DONE it by now, Spongebob or NO Spongebob! At this point, I don't think he REALLY wants to create such a great work; he just wants to use Spongebob as a scapegoat for all the failures and shortcomings in Squidward's OWN life, that are mostly his OWN fault! I just hope my threat, puts Squidward in his place! Because if it doesn't, we'll HAVE to vote him off! Newcomer, or NO newcomer!" (End Confessional) / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here, and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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All right! It's time for the second, and final part of my latest "Total Cartoon Legends" episode! I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it! / The commercials end, and the teams are now at the steps of knowledge! Kaput goes up to Bulma, and he says: "Bulma; I know we haven't exactly seen eye to eye in the past, mostly because you're a LOT taller than I am; but I have to wonder, how on EARTH did you stop being so bad and turn good?! That doesn't make SENSE to me!" Bulma says: "Well, if you must know, yes; I will admit that I wasn't always a paragon of purity and niceness. I used to be selfish, vain, self-centered, and MORE egotistical than I am now. Having my plans unravel, being forced to eliminate myself, and having to go through that PAINFUL Humiliation Conga Line, that you and all those other season three contestants did, made me realize that if THAT'S the price you have to pay, to try to get something WITHOUT actually earning it, than it's NOT worth it! And I have to live with knowing that along with everybody else! That Clean Slate only worked once!" Kaput says: "As much as I want to understand good, I do NOT want to go through a Humiliation Conga! Isn't there another way?" Zarbon says: "Well, you could do what I did. You should learn by doing! After finding out about Freeza's demise, I realized that I was no longer bound to be evil the way he intended, so I used my skills to try to do good instead. Granted, I didn't always use it in the way that I should have, but you HAVE to start with good intentions! I try to be an inspiration to others! If I can be an inspiration to you, that could make ALL the difference in the world!" Kaput says: "The world, huh? I think I'm starting to get an idea!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "Do I think Kaput is being on the level with us? Not entirely! But as I have personally learned, stranger things have happened! But I'll wait and see for myself just what EXACTLY that little alien has in mind!" / Zarbon says: "I had to go through some painful experiences to find out, that there's a difference between doing the right thing, and doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. I tried doing what BULMA told me the right thing would be, and it ended up ONLY being right for her! I don't want anyone else having to go through what I did! And if it makes Kaput have a better personality, I think that would benefit all of us!" (End Confessional)

Heffer says: "Hey! We're FINALLY getting some focus in this episode! Why did it take so long?" Monster says: "Well, there ARE still 42 contestants. Of COURSE it's going to be hard to try to focus on every single one!" Judy says: "You DO realize, that if you WANT to have focus, you have to BE the focus! You have to BE dramatic! Be DARING! Show your soul to EVERYONE in the audience! By showing the TRUTH, you will make the audience fall in love with you! It is the secret, to MY dramatic success!" (Confessional) Heffer says: "And I thought I did some crazy things on my show! But the way she talks is even CRAZIER than those things! Of course, she DOES kind of have a point!" / Monster says: "Judy has pointed out one important thing our show lacked; variety. We only HAD robots and monsters, and ONE half-monster/half-robot Santa Clause substitute! It's kind of not surprising our show didn't last longer! Perhaps by learning how to have more variety, may convince the studio to give our show another shot! I mean, I can't depend on starring roles on THIS show forever!" / Judy says: "Even though this show wasn't exactly MADE for my acting talents, I still intend giving this show EVERYTHING that I've got! After all, if you don't PLAY with everything you've got, you might as well NOT be playing!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, contestants! It's time to reveal our randomly selected contestants for the Steps of Knowledge! Daggett, you and Haggis will be playing for the Silver Snakes! Treeflower, you and Spongebob will be playing for the Green Monkeys!" Treeflower asks: "Spongebob, you think you'll be helpful with this?" Spongebob says: "Of course! I saw every single episode of the original Legends of The Hidden Temple at least once while growing up! I know how to handle myself!" Treeflower says: "Thank you! I feel SO much better!"

(Confessional) Treeflower says: "I HAD to ask, okay?! If I'm going to play with someone, I want to know if they are on the same page as I am! And yes, I had some doubts about Spongebob, but it looks like he IS playing with a full deck! And if Squidward has any BRAINS, he WON'T try to mess us BOTH up just to try and prove some STUPID point!" / Spongebob says: "I always WANTED to compete on the original Legends of the Hidden Temple! Unfortunately, I was only nine, and I needed to be at least 12. While I'm considerably older now, I'm hoping that the extra time I've been given to prepare will be worth it! And even if Squidward isn't impressed by it, I hope Sandy will be! The main reason I'm doing this, is to impress OUR kids!" / Sandy says: "The biggest reason why I married Spongebob, is BECAUSE he's not a stuck-up, pretentious SNOT like Squidward is! And, he's not intimidated by MY intelligence and strength, like a lot of OTHER guys in my life were!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Gerald, you and Heffer will be playing for the Red Jaguars!" Gerald says: "Cool!" And Squidward and Yakety Yak, you will be playing for the Blue Barracudas, let's see if you're on the same level as the REST of the Legends!" Yakety says: "I know that I'm ready for this! I can't say the same for SQUIDWARD though!" Squidward sputters, and he says: "What?! You think that I can't take this seriously?!" Yakety says: "I haven't seen any evidence so FAR!" Squidward asks: "Not even when I was referencing Weird Al Yankovic's 'One More Minute'? I'll PROVE it to you!" Squidward grabs a piece of paper, and Squidward says: "Look! 100,000 paper cuts on my FACE!!!!" And he rapidly swipes himself! Darwin says: "1, 10, 50, 100, 10,000, WOAH! 100,000 in 30 seconds! I haven't seen swiping THAT fast since the last time Swiper the Fox swiped something from Dora!" Squidward goes to the nearest door, and he says: "Look! I'm slamming my tentacles in a door AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!" Larry shouts: "There ARE easier WAYS to deal with ANGER, frustration, and DENIAL, Squidward!"

(Confessional) Larry says: "While everyone has different ways to let off excess anger in a healthy, constructive way; the way I do it is by exercising. If something bothers me, I work my aggression off by working out! That way, it makes my body more fit, and I don't hurt anybody!" (End Confessional) Squidward says: "Look! I'm having my blood sucked out by leeches!" Dog asks: "WAIT! Where did he get those?!" And everyone looks at Kaput! Kaput asks: "WHAT?! He asks if I smuggled some from the Congo! I told him I did, and he wanted them to PROVE a point!" (Confessional) Dog says: "Kaput, if this is you TRYING to be good, you're NOT doing a good job at it!" / Kaput face-palms himself, and he says: "Well, that's just GREAT! How was I supposed to know that Squidward was being OVERLY dramatic?! I'm not a mind-reader, you know! Besides, he'll probably have a cute new nickname; Leech Guy! So what are THEY complaining about?!" (End Confessional) Squidward THROWS a bunch of Double-Edged Razor Blades into the Moat, and he says: "I'm going to dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades!" Sway-Sway says: "STOP HIM!!!!" And he, Harvey, Gonard, Dudley, Zarbon, Chameleon, Fee, Bubble Bass, and Yakety Yak, quickly rush to STOP Squidward from jumping in! Squidward says: "NO!!!! Let me GO!!!! Let me GO!!!!" Gonard yells: "No! Shut up!" The rest of them say: "Shut up!" Dudley says: "You're making a GREAT big deal out of NOTHING!!!! Look, Sandy is Spongebob's HUSBAND, Pearl is Spongebob's friend, Larry is Spongebob's friend, I'm Spongebob's friend, Johnny Krill is Spongebob's friend, even Bubble Bass can socialize with Spongebob! Why can't YOU at least socialize with Spongebob?!" Squidward is still struggling, and he says: "Because...BECAUSE...!" Fee bluntly says: "Because he doesn't want to disappoint his FATHER!"

Harvey says: "Fee, what are you saying?" Fee says: "Come on! I can TOTALLY see it! If Squidward isn't ACTING this way because of SOMETHING Spongebob actually did to him, it HAS to come from the way Squidward was raised! And where DO you get ideas like, you can't LIKE a certain group of people, be friends with them, or socialize with them because it will SOMEHOW cause YOU to be dragged down to THEIR level; when in reality, the experience would ONLY make them a better, smarter person?! Or octopus, as the case may be? It's because he learned it from HIS father! Beyond that, I don't know! But Squidward, if you think that if you JUST hate Spongebob enough, do everything in your power to minimize your interaction time with him, and anything else like that, is SOMEHOW going to MAGICALLY make your father come back to life and give you the love he NEVER gave to you while he was alive? Well, it WON'T! Your father is DEAD, Squidward, and he's NEVER coming back! And no matter what you think about Spongebob, you need to STOP blaming everyone else for shortcomings that YOU caused yourself, and take responsibility for your own actions!" Chameleon says: "Wow! That is SO profound!" Fee says: "My mom's making me watch a lot of education videos to catch up to my education level. I needed to learn SOMETHING by watching them!"

(Confessional) Squidward says: "Is what Fee said true? Have I REALLY been hating Spongebob all this time, NOT because I actually hated him, but because of the way my father raised me?" Squidward strains, but nothing comes to him! Squidward says: "Why can't I remember?! Did he do something wrong and I blacked it out of my memory? I heard of such traumatic things happening, but I never thought it could've occurred to me. When this challenge is over, I REALLY need to talk with a professional like Bulma, in order to straighten things out!" / Fee says: "If it wasn't so sad and tragic, it WOULD be kind of funny that a little kid, of EVERYONE, would BE the one who could identify Squidward's problem! I'm not SAYING I'm proud of myself by doing it so that EVERYONE could hear, but I couldn't allow him to be a liability to the rest of the team anymore! If anything, I was doing him a FAVOR in the long run!" / Harvey says: "I always KNEW Fee was smarter than what Dade and Princess claimed! Now I have the ultimate proof of that!" / Chameleon says: "I sure wish that when I was Fee's age, I had been that smart! I might have never taken up being a villain in the FIRST place!" (End Confessional) Sniz looks at his watch, and he says: "Woah! Thanks to Squidward's little publicity stunt, we now don't have enough time to do the Steps of Knowledge this time, so I'll split the difference and give every team a chance to win a Pendant of Life!" Jenny says: "We're using the Pendant of Life again?!" Sniz says: "You are correct, Jenny! And this time, the way they work is a little different! In the proper Temple itself, the regular Pendant's of Life will be used to ward off Temple Guards, sort of as an extra life! In Elimination Ceremonies, you'll need a DIFFERENT Pendant Of Life!" Sandy asks: "Different, how?"

Sniz says: "This season, each team will be able to collect ONE color-coordinated Pendant of Life per team! Normally, you'd have to find them within the challenge itself, or win it by going down the Steps of Knowledge! Also, if you find a Pendant Of Life that DOESN'T belong to your team, you cannot destroy it, or YOU will receive Penalty Votes if you do, for the REST of the Game! You must give that Pendant to ONE member of that team! Of course, you're free to choose who you give it to! To DETERMINE who get's the Pendant Of Life this time, we'll simply use a tie-breaker question! One member of each team, will have a chance to answer a question, regarding to the legend itself! Of course, you didn't get a chance to hear it, so that makes it a little more challenging! Olmec, where can the Lost Manuscript be found?" Olmec says: "The Lost Manuscript of Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, can be found in the Tomb of The Pharoah's!" Sniz says: "All right! With that in mind, who wants to be the representative for each team?" Tigress' eyes light up with an idea, and she says: "Oh, I'll volunteer!" Haggis asks: "Seriously?" But before she can take a single step down the Steps of Knowledge, Tigress TRIPS and in slow-motion says: "OOPS!!!!" And as she's flailing in slow-motion, one of her paws ACCIDENTALLY hits Po square in the face! The camera speed returns to normal, as Tigress lands (on her feet), and she angrily says: "You hit Po!" Inside of her mind, Master Coelaceanth protests: "But that was a--!" Tigress yells: "YOU HIT PO!!!!" And lightning seems to ERUPT out of Tigress' body! Po says: "I forgot how STRONG she can punch! What is going ON here?!" Bubble Bass IMMEDIATELY puts two and two together, and he says: "I know what is, and you're NOT going to LIKE it!"

Tigress screams: "Get out of my HEAD!!!!" And as Tigress screams, a ghostly ectoplasm ERUPTS out of Tigress' mouth, and ends up LANDING right into Aang's mouth! Po rushes to her side, and Po asks: "Tigress, are you all right?" Tigress coughs, and she says: "I'm fine now, but I don't think that AANG is!" Super Chum asks: "Why would that be?" Bubble Bass says: "Because what escaped out of Tigress' mouth, WAS Master Coelaceanth's soul!" And Aang's clothes transform, into the EXACT garb worn by Master Coealaceanth! In Master Coelaceanth's voice, Aang says: "BLAST you, Tigress! How DARE you trip and hit Po on the way down?!" Tigress asks: "Did you REALLY think I was going to let YOU make ME the villain of this season?! Anti-Cosmo tried that once, and spoiler alert, it DIDN'T work! Of COURSE I was going to try to get rid of you the FIRST chance I got!" Aang growls angrily, and Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "Deviously clever, even by feline standards; but you made a BIG mistake, in letting AANG absorb me!" Stimpy says: "How do you figure that? He has already SURVIVED having Mesogog hijack his body, he can survive YOUR attempt, to!" Aang chuckles, and Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "Ordinarily, I'd be inclined to agree. But this time, he has an actual REASON to WANT me in his body; he wants to get REVENGE against Tigress, just as much as I do, and it's all thanks to Tigress' UTTER arrogance that has provided FUEL for his FIRE!" Tigess says: "Po, go ahead and say, 'I told you so'!" Po says: "Totally NOT the time or place!" Bubble Bass smugly asks: "Aren't YOU forgetting one important thing?" Yakety asks: "What would THAT be?!" Bubble Bass says: "The RULES for this season! The rules SPECIFICALLY state that you CAN'T kill another contestant while on this show, no matter WHO you are! Even EVIL contestants have to follow THAT rule!"

Spongebob says: "Bubble Bass, you've officially gone from a 2 to a 9 on my Respect-O-Meter!" Aang pauses to think, and Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "Very well! I'll BIDE my time! And as for you my FINE lady; true, I can't attend to you NOW, as I'd like; but just TRY to stay out of my way! Just TRY! I'll get you, my pretty! And those mangy DOGS, to! Later, losers!" And Master Coelaceanth's garb disappears from Aang's body! Zim rushes to Aang, and Zim asks: "Aang, are you all right?!" Aang, in his own voice, creepily says: "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again! If you need help, hang up, and dial your operator!" Zim says: "So, I'd take that as a no." Haggis says: "That may be Aang's body, but it looks like it's Master Coelaceanth's mind, now!"

(Confessional) Haggis says: "Did I really come BACK for another season, just so I could deal with a mind-controlled Aang AGAIN?! Granted, it's not the same guy doing it, but STILL!" / Tigress says: "Of COURSE I didn't want to personally punch Po, but I had no other option! After all, the deal was, that WE could never hurt Po! If I let Master Coelaceanth have total control, he NEVER would've let me pull even THAT trip off! Of course, it's not exactly like I made the situation TOTALLY better! Now Master Coelaceanth is in AANG'S body! And Aang is totally MAD at me, and RIGHTFULLY so! Well, I don't care WHAT it takes! I'll rid Aang of Master Coelaceanth's influence, and apologize to Aang, even if it's the LAST thing my FIRST of Nine lives gets to do!" / Yakety says: "Suddenly, I'm glad we have at least SOMEONE on our team who read the entire contract! Thank you, Bubble Bass!" / Bubble Bass says: "Master Coelaceanth is FAR more resilient than I ever could have dreamed! He was killed, yet still came back as Springtrap! He was short-circuited, but he still came back as a zombie! He was deep-fried and eaten, and his soul STILL survives! Ooh, I wish we had Danny Fenton here; he'd know how to deal with a spectral threat! But we're still find a way to get rid of Master Coelaceanth, once and for all!" / Spongebob says: "Now I KNOW that Bubble Bass truly likes me as a friend; he went out of his way to bring up that rule, in order to save my life! From now, I'm going to let him eat his Krusty Krab food the way he wants to, and I won't get in the way of his enjoyment of that food again!" / Aang, in his own voice, says: "While I'm ANGRY that I have to share my body with someone else AGAIN, at least it makes me considerably stronger than I was before! After all, I will NEED such strength if I am to teach Tigress HER place in the world!" / Sniz says: "The views expressed by our contestants and/or maniacal fish psychopaths, do not reflect the views of this host or it's parent corporation!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Look, can we quit messing around and get ON with the tie-breaker question?!" Everyone else says: "Yes, Sniz!"

Sniz says: "Okay, besides Tigress, who else will volunteer for the Tie-Breaker question?" Keswick says: "I volunteer for the Green Monkeys!" Kitty says: "I volunteer for the Silver Snakes!" Squidward says: "And I volunteer for the Blue Barracudas!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I HAD to volunteer! HELLO! Even with everything that's going around, my team, and the Green Monkeys, aren't likely to forget the way that I'VE been acting, and they'll vote me off if we lose! I HAD to volunteer; it's my only chance of being able to protect myself in case we lose!" (End Confessional) The four contestants come to the Tie-Breaker Pedestal, and Sniz says: "Okay, for a Team Pendant Of Life, here is the Tie-Breaker question; When was Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde first published, and who wrote it?" Tigress buzzes in first, and she says: "1886, written by Robert Louis Stevenson!" Sniz says: "That is correct! You've won an Immunity Pendant of Life! Just remember; this time around, if you use a Pendant of Life in an Elimination Ceremony, you won't be able to find another one, until AFTER another challenge is completed, so choose the times you use them wisely!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Regardless of what Sniz says, I HAD to get the Immunity Pendant Of Life! Since our team has to work with the Silver Snakes, than we win or lose together! However, now that I HAVE this, I don't have to win! And while I do like winning, I do need Aang gone MORE! And if he's NOT a contestant, he's FAIR game!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! It's time to reveal what the challenge will be! In the actual novella of Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Dr. Jekyll made a strange concoction, to turn himself into Mr. Hyde, and live out his darkest urges! In this challenge, all the contestants on both sets of teams, will have to work as a relay station, to get the concoction from the starting line, into the large glass beaker at the finish line! The first two teams to make their concoction go OVER the line indicated on the large glass beaker, will win immunity, and get a chance to go into the Temple! Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars, since you have one more contestant than the other teams, you'll both have to sit someone out!" Tigress says: "Oh, I don't mind setting THIS one out!" Aang screams: "WHAT?!!!"

Tigress says: "You heard me! Let's see how far YOU get WITHOUT my help!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Nobody invades MY mind and gets away with it, especially NOT Master Coelaceanth!" / Aang fumes, and in his own voice, says: "Just you wait! YOU are going to PAY!!!!" (End Confessional) The Green Monkeys consult with each other, and Dog says: "I better sit this one out, I don't want to accidentally get thirsty and drink some of the concoction." Sniz says: "Very well! Teams, we're putting three minutes on the clock! We hope that's enough! On your marks, get set, GO!" / During the montage, Tigress is laughing and enjoying herself, watching Aang and the rest of the Red Jaguars and the Silver Snakes STRUGGLE without her help, while the Green Monkeys and the Blue Barracudas put aside their differences to work on the challenge, while Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want To Have Fun", plays over the montage. Cyndi sings: "I come home in the morning light. My mother says, 'When you gonna live your life right?' Oh, mamma, dear, we're not the fortunate ones. And girls—they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have fun. The phone rings in the middle of the night. My father yells, 'What you gonna do with your life?' Oh, daddy, dear, you know you're still number one. But girls—they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have. That's all they really want. Some fun! When the working day is done; oh, girls—they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have fun! Girls—they wanna; wanna have fun! Girls wanna have! (Musical Break) Some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world. I wanna be the one to walk in the sun! Oh girls, they wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have; that's all they really want! Some fun! When the working day is done; oh, girls—they wanna have fun! Oh girls just wanna have fun! Girls—they wanna; wanna have fun! Girls wanna have! They just wanna, they just wanna! Girls just wanna! Girls just wanna have fun! They just wanna! Girls just wanna have fun! Just wanna; just wanna! They just wanna; they just wanna! When the working day is done! Oh, Girls! Girls just wanna fun!" And the song and montage ends as the Green Monkeys and Blue Barracudas manage to fill their giant glass beaker first!

Sniz says: "And it's over! It's all over! The Green Monkeys and the Blue Barracudas both win immunity! Red Jaguars and Silver Snakes, I'll deal with you later! Now, you need to choose who you are going to send into the Temple!" Squidward says: "Bubble Bass, I HAVE been acting irrationally about Spongebob." Bubble Bass says: "Well, that's good. Admitting you HAVE a problem is the first step to recovery." Squidward says: "I know, it's just, I'm not sure if I'm quite ready yet to work with Spongebob. I need to find out what my problem is. Bubble Bass, will you go into the Temple, first?" Bubble Bass rolls his eyes, but says: "Fine! With my luck, I'll probably get captured soon anyways!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Well, it finally happened. It took longer than I expected, but it happened. Squidward admitted he had a problem. Now, I'll wait to see if he can follow through." / Squidward says: "I'm not saying that I WILL become friends with Spongebob, I just want to be able to interact with him in a way that isn't irrational! Besides, it will make life around him a lot easier!" (End Confessional) Spongebob says: "I volunteer for the Green Monkeys!" Bubble Bass asks: "Are you sure?" Spongebob says: "Bubble Bass, you protected me from Master Coelaceanth's wrath! If the Temple Guards catch you, competing to find the Lost Manuscript is the least I can do for you! Do you trust me?!"

Bubble Bass says: "Somehow, I do." (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "After everything Spongebob has been through, I honestly think he just MIGHT be able to get that Lost Manuscript!" / Spongebob says: "In the previous seasons, I would've been content to let someone else shine. But, with Master Coelaceanth back in the action, I have to show him, that I'm NOT going to be afraid of him! I mean, I'm a LITTLE afraid of him; who wouldn't be?! But true courage isn't about NOT being afraid; it's about DOING the thing that scares you in SPITE of the fact that you are afraid, and that's what true bravery is! I HAVE to do this! If not for my own sake, than for Sandy's!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Very well, than! Olmec, tell us about the Temple!" Olmec says: "First, go into the Mummy's Crypt, pull on the correct book, but beware of the Temple Guard! Next, go onto the ledge, knock down the pedestal, and climb into the Observatory! There, spin the sundial, than go down into Medusa's Lair. Fit the snakes into her hair, than go into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. Place the Monkey together, than go into the next room and go down the Devil's Slide! Once down in the Basement, knock down the wall, and go into the Tomb of the Pharaoh's, where you can grab the Lost Manuscript! Than, go through the Room of Enlightment, crawl back through the pit, make your way through the Ledges, than back to the Temple Entrance! If you succeed, you will be rewarded with an Immunity Pendant of Life of your choice!"

Sniz says: "Thank you, Olmec! All right, Bubble Bass! You won in the last half-season, let's see if you can put your skills to good use here! Let's put three minutes on the clock! On your mark, get set, GO!!!!" Sniz narrates the action as Bubble Bass goes along! Sniz says: "Bubble Bass is in the Mummy's Crypt, and a Temple Guard, right off the bat! He hands over the Pendant of Life, and tries to find the right book! He finds it! He's on the ledge and he's...belching loudly, and the pedestal falls down! Unconventional, but we'll allow it! He's up in the Observatory, he's spinning the sundial, he's going down into Medusa's Lair...and another Temple Guard! Go Spongebob, go! Spongebob's making his way through the Crypt, across the Ledge, into the Observatory, and down into Medusa's Lair, and he's trying to find the right snakes to put into her hair. He's found them! He's in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey, and another Temple Guard! He hands over his Pendant of Life! Spongebob is putting down the base, and the chest, and the Head! The door's open! He's heading down the Devil's Slide, and he's bracing himself, and he knocks down the wall! He's in the Tomb of the Pharoah's! He's got the Lost Manuscript! All the doors are open! He's going through the Room of Enlightment! Through the Pit, and now he's going through the Ledges! He's out! With 44 seconds to spare! You get an Immunity Pendant Of Life of your choice!" Spongebob thinks about it, and he says: "I choose...to let Squidward have the Blue Barracuda's Pendant of Life!" Squidward's eyes well up, and he says: "You're giving an Immunity Pendant of Life, to me? Even after everything I said to you?" Spongebob says: "I don't know what you've been through, but I DO know that deep down, there's good in you! And I want you to have the chance to prove yourself! And honestly? I think you're going to need that Pendant Of Life more than I'll need one for me."

Squidward says: "Spongebob, I promise you, your sacrifice will NOT be in vain! Whatever it takes, I will AVENGE you!" Spongebob asks: "What are you talking about?" Bubble Bass says: "Squidward KIND of has a point! You just LITERALLY made what could be the STUPIDEST move in the HISTORY of this show! You gave away the chance to get a Pendant of Life for yourself! Do you HONESTLY think you can find one during the NEXT challenge?" Spongebob says: "That's a chance I'm willing to take! I truly believe that if you give out good karma, you will GET good karma in return!" Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "For your sake, I hope you're right!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I'm not saying I'm going to vote off Spongebob, I probably won't. But even if I don't, that won't stop everyone else from doing so! He's the most popular character on this show! Of COURSE they'll vote him off the first chance they get! I just hope I truly CAN avenge him! I owe at least THAT much to him!" / Bubble Bass says: "The next challenge will TRULY be a test of Spongebob's resolve! I certainly hope he wins the next challenge or FINDS an Immunity Pendant, because if he doesn't, I'm not sure if Spongebob's heart can take it!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Red Jaguars, looks like Tigress benching herself didn't really help you. That being said, she DOES have an Immunity Pendant, and she might just use it! And Silver Snakes, your inability to work together has doomed your efforts yet again! BOTH of you will be eliminating one contestant on your team, when I see BOTH of your teams, at the Elimination Ceremony tonight!" And Aang has a devious look in his eyes!

(Confessional) Aang jerks, and gains Master Coelaceanth's garb again! Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "It's about time! It was getting HOT in there! How very like Tigress! She thinks she can take the QUICK path to get rid of me! It might have worked once, but it's NOT going to work again! I might not be able to eliminate Tigress THIS time, but I can FORCE her to use that Pendant of Life! She won't be able to get one AGAIN for another two challenges!" / Bulma says: "There's no doubt in my mind that Tigress, and Aang/Master Coelaceanth will try to target each other, and since NOBODY else wants Aang to stick around, I'm sure most of the other contestants will try to vote him off to! However, I SAW the devious look in Aang's eyes! Something is off! I'm telling Sandy to vote someone inconsequential like Kaput and Johnny Krill, and we'll let the others take the FALL for the aftermath of the Eliminations!" (End Confessional) The Red Jaguars and the Silver Snakes are at the Elimination Ceremony! Sniz says: "Red Jaguars, welcome to your first time here! I'm honestly a little surprised! Silver Snakes, not so much! I thought you would have learned your lesson from the LAST time!" Taotie says: "That's what I thought, but apparently, no one ever LISTENS to me!" Sniz says: "In any case, you will take the voting devices, make your selections than insert a Miniature Pendant Of Life into the Coin Slot! Once the Votes are tallied, but before I reveal the safe contestants, whoever has an Immunity Pendant of Life, must present it in order to receive immunity from any votes! Otherwise, whichever two contestants have the most votes, must board the Mine Cart of Shame, and go through the Mine Shaft of Losers! That means that you're out of the contest, and you can never come back again, EVER! With that being said, VOTE!!!!" And the contestants make quick work on who they want to vote off!

Sniz says: "Voting over, so it's time to..." Aang says: "Not so fast! I HAVE the Silver Snakes Immunity Pendant, and I WILL be playing it on MYSELF!!!!" Haggis screams: "Oh, NO!!!!" Sniz says: "The Pendant of Life is real, so all votes cast for Aang will not count! Now..." Tigress says: "Hold it! Aang isn't the ONLY one who had a Pendant of Life! I'm playing mine on myself!" Sandy says: "It's a good thing cats have nine lives! Tigress might need all the chances she can get!" Sniz says: "This Pendant of Life is also real, that means all votes cast for Tigress, will not count! Now, it's time to reveal the safe contestants who will receive Chocolate Pendants of Life! Obviously, Aang. Daggett, Otto, Sandy, Judy, Gerald, Haggis, Pearl, Zim, Larry, Kitty, Snaptrap, Heffer, Buhdeuce, Blonda, Taotie. Obviously, Tigress. Jenny!" Bulma, Kaput, and Johnny Krill, all tense up, as they are the only three left! Sniz says: "Contestants, this is the FINAL Pendant Of Life this evening!" Kaput looks angrily at everyone, Johnny is relaxed, as if convinced that he WON'T be leaving, while Bulma just sweats profusely! Sniz says: "And the Pendant goes to, BULMA!!!!" Bulma jumps up and says: "YES!!!!" And she hugs the contestant closest to her, only to realize that it's Johnny Krill! Bulma says: "Oops! I am SO sorry, Johnny!" Sandy says: "I'm sorry to. I didn't want to eliminate you, not like this! I wanted to actually compete against you!" Johnny says: "I'm not upset! It's actually quite impressive! I mean, it took TWO whole Pendants of Life JUST to eliminate me! How many other contestants can say that, BESIDES Kaput?!" Kaput says: "I don't understand! I thought I was doing good!" Kitty says: "Well, that may be, but you've got a LONG way to go, before you actually get there! Get some experience in the real world, before you make another commitment like that!" Sniz says: "The teams have spoken, and your bags are packed!"

Sniz gives Kaput a helmet, since Johnny Krill is already wearing one! And they get in the Mine Cart, and buckle their seat belts! Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "3, 2, 1, BLAST-OFF!!!!" And the Mine Cart blasts down the rail track, and through the mysterious Mine Shaft Portal! Sniz says: "And just like that, two more contestants are gone! Things are sure to get more intense, now that Master Coelaceanth is inhabiting Aang's body! Everyone will have to be on their guard! And while I legally can't endorse the elimination of a contestant, I can certainly hope and be excited for a potential one! In any case, see which teams will prevail, on the next exciting episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "Thank you for being a part of this exciting adventure!" / Stinger: Kaput and Johnny Krill blast through the portal, and the other end of the portal, dumps them out RIGHT into the middle of the skate park at Ocean Shores, California! Twister says: "What the?! Where did YOU two come from?!" Johnny says: "Would you believe that we came from Total Cartoon Legends?" Reggie says: "I would. They actually wanted ME on there; and Otto only got to come, because I said; 'No, I already WON a season, there's no where to go but down'." Twister says: "Well, while we wait for Otto, we're practicing mad skills on these half-pipes and stuff! Would you like to practice with us?" Kaput asks: "Would we be doing good?" Reggie says: "With my help, you can be some of the BEST, good athletes, that Ocean Shores has ever seen!" Kaput says: "In that case, hand me a skateboard, and I'll become one of the best!" Johnny says: "You're already half-way there, in my books!" /


Episode Notes: It is revealed that Master Coelaceanth's soul is STILL alive! Initially in Tigress' body, it is now currently in Aang's body. Squidward FINALLY realizes that his Irrational hatred of Spongebob, may stem from how his father raised him. Immunity Pendants of Life introduced, and Aang and Tigress both play one. Featured songs in this episode, The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes", and Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want To Have Fun". Kaput and Johnny Krill become the FIRST two contestants that needed TWO Pendants Of Life played in order to be eliminated! Eliminated Contestants: 44. Kowalski. 43. Private. 42. Kaput. 41. Johnny Krill. Remaining Contestants: Aang, Silver Snakes. Daggett Beaver, Silver Snakes. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Judy Funny, Red Jaguars. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Haggis McHaggis, Silver Snakes. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Darwin, Green Monkeys. Invader Zim, Silver Snakes. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Green Monkeys. Kitty Katswell, Silver Snakes. Verminious J. Snaptrap, Silver Snakes. Sway-Sway, Blue Barracudas. Harvey Beaks, Blue Barracudas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Heffer Wolfe, Red Jaguars. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Monster Krumholtz, Green Monkeys. Blonda, Silver Snakes. Taotie, Silver Snakes. Tigress, Red Jaguars. Gonard, Blue Barracudas. Po, Green Monkeys. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Blue Barracudas. Zarbon, Blue Barracudas. Bulma Briefs, Silver Snakes. Chameleon, Blue Barracudas. Fee, Blue Barracudas. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Blue Barracudas. Yakety Yak, Blue Barracudas. Squidward Tentacles, Blue Barracudas. /


Personal Notes: I'll admit, I WAS a little tempted to make Tigress go through a similar scenario of what Mike went through in "Total Drama All-Stars", but after reviewing the mess THAT season was, I was like, "No, no, I can't do THAT again." So, I decided to shake up the formula, by having Tigress find a way to get rid of Master Coelaceanth early, only to wind up with ANOTHER problem; mainly that Master Coelaceanth is now inhabiting Aang's body! And while this is a deviation, I highly consider ANY deviation from "Total Drama All-Stars" a good thing! The less I can copy that season, the better! As for Johnny Krill and Kaput, while they definitely both have good strengths as far as contestants go, I needed two unexpected contestants to unexpectedly be eliminated, due to Tigress and Aang trying to fire against each other, and Johnny Krill and Kaput just happened to be the contestants who got caught in the cross-fire! So, needless to say, it's anyone's guess as to who will be eliminated next! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

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