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Total Cartoon Paradise City!


4EverFreeGuy

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Here's a little commercial preview of my new, upcoming season to whet your appetites while I help out Renegade the Unicorn with previous story commitments. I'll start writing once I'm done with those. Until then, enjoy this little taste of what I have coming up in 2019! /

(Old Fashioned Television static is seen on the T.V. Screen, and sputters in and out as the distorted image of Sniz is seen trying to make an announcement). In distorted audio, Sniz says: “Do not attempt to adjust your television set. There is nothing wrong with your screen. What follows is a preview of the first half of a season, which there are two halves to. It may not make sense to you at first, but we're sure that at will, in time. For the first half of season four, we are taking you back to a familiar island in Lake Michigan, the setting for the very first season of the Total Cartoon series. But just because this is a familiar island, there are going to be some brand new twists. 12 brand new contestants, plus two returning contestants from season three, are going to be battling it out against each other, for a grand prize of $1.4 million in cash this time around, due to the reduced amount of contestants who are entering in this half of the season. Bessie Higgenbottom, Brittany Miller, Rico, Katarra, Theodore Seville, Fee, Po, Kowalski, Danny Fenton, Tigress, Bubble Bass, Jenny XJ-9, Johnny Krill, and Private, will be fighting head to head in 13 challenges, and one Performance Review, in order to determine supremacy between each other, and their respective shows. But that's not all! Blonda is now part of the show, as a coach/referee, and will be supervising all the challenges, to ensure there's no fowl play! Also, expect to see some of your old favorite contestants pop up to demonstrate how the challenges work, or as paid interns helping to make the show run properly! And finally, the biggest twist of this season, all of the Fairy Godparents except for Blonda are now on STRIKE! Which means for this season, Fondue has gotten replacement magical help from the Anti-Fairies of The Fairly Oddparents! There is no telling what sort of magic, fair or foul, may befall our contestants this season! May luck be on their side, and by extension, OURS, as we enter what may be the riskiest entry in our series so far, Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Really, Fondue? I have a feeling that this Anti-Fairy business is going to be a bad idea!” (Commercial ends). /

Just to let you know, the shows being represented this season are "The Mighty B!, Alvinnn! and the Chipmunks, The Penguins of Madagascar, Avatar: the Last Airbender, Harvey Beaks, Danny Phantom, Spongebob Squarepants", and "My Life As a Teenage Robot". And in case you forgot, Johnny Krill WAS a previously one time appearing character on "Spongebob Squarepants". I hope you enjoy this upcoming season as much as I do writing it! Enough said, for now!

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Sorry it took me SO long to finish this, but at least I actually GOT the first episode of this new season WRITTEN in 2019 like I said I would! Anyways, here is the long-awaited official debut of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it! /

Sniz and Fondue, are standing on a familiar dock on an island in Lake Michigan, not seen for a number of years. Sniz says: “Greetings, fellow old-time viewers, and HOPEFULLY new viewers!” General Barracuda asks: “WHAT new viewers?!” Fondue says: “Ignore him!” Sniz says: “Noted, moving on! For anyone joining us for the first time, welcome to Nickelodeon's hottest gaming/competition show, that pits well-known Nickelodeon cartoon characters against each other, all for the chance for them to win a big cash prize at the end, as well as the notoriety, of having won a season of this show. For the past three seasons, we've had notable winners in Stimpy, a tie between Dog and Larry, as well as an unexpected giveaway win, to Reggie Rocket. But we're not here to talk about past seasons, we're here to talk about a new season. Now, for some reason, most of the contestants who competed in the first three seasons, opted NOT to come back to play in this season. In fact, only two former contestants, wanted to come back and play in this season. Namely, Po and Tigress. Also, only 12 new contestants applied to join this season. We'd like to think that because the quality of the competition was so high last season, that only those who were supremely confidant about their own skills, dared to enter this time. In fact, arriving on boat RIGHT now, are the 14 contestants, who will be competing this season!” Bessie Higgenbottom jumps off the boat first, and she says: “Wow! This is so cool, riding on a boat! Did you know my great-great-great grandfather actually built a boat?! Old Ironsides, they called her! It fought in the Civil War, against the--!” General Barracuda slaps his fin over her mouth, and he says: “Thank you for that 'HELPFUL' information, Bessie! I have a feeling that SHE'S going to be a lot of fun! By the way, I'm being sarcastic!”

Sniz sarcastically retorts: “Really? We couldn't tell! And here comes pop-star Brittany Miller...apparently, with a LARGE entourage!” Brittany Miller descends the gangplank, and she is inexplicably being photographed by a BUNCH of media paparazzi, following her every move! Brittany is on her cell phone, and she says: “Yeah, I'm like, on the island right now, Alvin! No, I DON'T know why they asked me, and not YOU, to be on this show! Don't worry, I'll be sure to give plenty of shout-outs to you! Just make sure that MY albums sell like hot-cakes in the mean-time!” Sniz says: “Brittany, your contract is only good for YOU, not your entourage! General Barracuda, if you don't MIND!” General Barracuda smirks, and he says: “With pleasure!” And he GRABS a giant air gun, and he uses it to BLOW the paparazzi, and Brittany's cell phone FAR away! Brittany says: “No biggie. I've got three OTHER cell phones at home!”

Rico runs down the gangplank on all fours, with Kowalski running after him! Kowalski says: “Oh, dear! Rico broke off of his leash, AGAIN!” Sniz says: “Kowalski, you know that this show REALLY isn't sanctioned for wild animals like Rico, don't you?!” Kowalski is miffed, and he says: “Hey! Rico isn't wild! He's been house-broken for over a week, now! He's perfectly harmless, as long as I can control him!” Than mystical music appears out of nowhere, and Katarra eerily floats up out of the boat, and propels herself over to where all the other contestants have gathered. Katarra, without even opening her eyes, says: “Something's strange. I sense the presence of Blonda, but no other Fairy Godparent interns.” Blonda busts out of her luxury cabin, wearing an official soccer referee outfit, and she says: “Did somebody mention my name?!” Sniz says: “Well, we WERE going to introduce YOU later, but Katarra, this is Blonda. Blonda, these are our contestants for the new season!” Blonda looks them over, and she says: “Hmm, not much to look at. Still, I'd rather be COACHING them, than competing against them!” Theodore Seville runs down the gangplank, and he says: “Pardon me, but when are we going to get the free food and snacks?!” Brittany says: “Free food?! Theodore, you just ATE!” Blonda says: “According to MY sources, he always just ate!” Fee struts down the gangplank, and she says: “Oh, yeah! Little Bark representative is in the HOUSE! Big shout out to Harvey Beaks, Technobear, Kratz, and Foo back at home! You know I love you all, Woo WOO!” Blonda says: “Well, you DO have some pretty hair, Fee!” Fee says:” Thank you!”

Blonda says: “But not as pretty as mine!” Fee's mood sours, and she says: “Give me a minute, and I can fix THAT fact, PERMANENTLY!” Blonda smugly says: “I would LOVE to see you TRY! Of course, I'd love to see anyone I hate as a crater!” Po runs down the gangplank, and he says: “You are NOT, going to be doing any of that! Not as long as I'm around! After all, I think the last thing that any of us want THIS season, is for there to be any unnecessary VIOLENCE against our fellow contestants!” Kowalski says: “Well, I certainly agree with you on THAT front! I'm not sure Rico feels the same way!” Rico looks at the other contestants, with an indeterminable expression, and he merely says: “Bleh!” General Barracuda gives Kowalski a perplexed look, and General Barracuda says: “Eh, I really didn't understand what Rico was trying to say.” Kowalski says: “Don't worry about it, nobody does!” Danny Fenton walks down the gangplank, and he nervously says: “Hi, I'm Danny Fenton. And I'm, here to try to win this season, I guess!” Tigress can be heard groaning loudly, and she says: “UGH!!!! That was SO pathetic! Out of the way, let a TRUE champion show you how it's done!” Tigress kicks down the door of the boat room she was staying in, does several forward jump flips on the boat, leaps OFF the boat, and rolls forward on the ground, before springing forward, to land perfectly on her two feet! Tigress says: “I am Master Tigress! The one, the only, the world-renowned, the exceptionally trained, and incredibly epic Kung Fu Master, who has ever trained on ALL seven continents! If you're already unnerved by me now, you're free to save yourself the trouble, and go home right now! I don't tolerate losers, getting in my path of winning! THAT'S how you make a proper introduction!”

Po groans, and he says: “Tigress, whatever happened to LAST season?!” Tigress says: “Come on, Po! This act is all for show! I'm just giving the fans what they want! And you all know they want me to kick butt! I can't help it if I know what I'm good at! And what I'm good at, is kicking butt! See how that works?” A snooty voice says: “Well, I hope you don't think that tactic will work on ME, because I have no plans on just, quitting!” And Bubble Bass appears, eating a BIG Krabby Patty, NOTICEABLY without any pickles on it. He stomps down the gangplank, noticeably IGNORING all the other contestants around him! Bubble Bass says: “I thought this was going to be more like an ACTUAL game show! You know, like Double Dare, Nick Arcade, or Legends of the Hidden Temple!” General Barracuda says: “Oh, I'm sorry! You must be mistaking this show, with a game show parody that Nickelodeon will NOT be making!” Bubble Bass seems to be greatly offended, and he says: “Oh, so you're going to act like THAT to me, are you?! Well, I can dish it out just as well as I can take it!” General Barracuda seriously says: “Well, THAT remains to be seen now, doesn't it?”

Jenny XJ-9 flies out of her cabin, lands on the ground, and says: “Hi, I'm Jenny Wakeman, also known as XJ-9! Long-time fan, first-time competitor! I don't really care if I win or lose, I hope to at least make it past the first few rounds and make a decent showing. As a matter of fact, I'd kind of like to start with a hard challenge first. You know, REALLY get a chance to show off some of my skills! I feel supremely confidant in my own abilities, to help me prevail in whatever comes my way.” Bubble Bass says: “You WOULD, wouldn't you?!” Jenny is legitimately taken aback, and she asks: “What is THAT supposed to mean?!” Bubble Bass just retorts: “Oh, wouldn't YOU like to know?! Well, too bad! You can take it however you WANT to take it! I'm not going to bother providing context for YOU, or anyone else for THAT matter, unless I WANT to!” Johnny Krill shouts: “Context?! What's 'Context'?! I know we're in a contest, but nobody said anything about something called 'Context', being involved!” General Barracuda sighs, and he sarcastically says: “Oh goody, it's my favorite military F-4 failure, Johnny Krill!” Tigress asks: “You mean he's an athletic failure?” General Barracuda says: “No, worse! He's as dumb as a rock!” And even though nobody asked for it, Johnny Krill proves the General's point by diving off the boat, only to land helmet first on some sharp rocks, and REBOUND onto some sharp cactus growing on the island, before jumping off onto the ground!

Kowalski says: “Uh, I hate to be predictable, and complain about logic on the first day, but, cactus isn't NATIVE to environment of Lake Michigan, and the nearest desert is over a 1,000 miles away.” Blonda says: “I have a magic wand, your argument is invalid.” Private says: “There's an argument?! Do you need me to help you, Kowalski?!” Kowalski says: “No, you REALLY don't need to do that! I think I can handle any other argument that comes my way!” Private says: “Even so, I'm coming to help you!” And Private gets ready to head down the gangplank, but TRIPS on the first step, and rolls down it, BUMPING straight into Bubble Bass, whose left fin accidentally KNOCKS one of General Barracuda's teeth CLEAN out of his MOUTH! General Barracuda quickly covers his mouth in shock, turns away from the camera, and frantically begins to look for the missing tooth! General Barracuda frantically asks: “My mouth! My priceless, insured, valuable, $40 million dollar mouth! My tooth, where's my tooth?! Someone's going to pay DEARLY for this!” And Bubble Bass looks flabbergasted, and he asks: “What did I do?!” Sniz says: “Well, I hope you find your tooth, General Barracuda! In the meantime, it looks like all 14 contestants are here, so it's time to explain how this season will work for all of you. You will be divided into teams of two, and you will fight head to head in 13 challenges, and one Performance Review, in order to determine supremacy between each of you, and your respective shows. As mentioned earlier Blonda is now part of the show, as a coach/referee, and will be supervising all the challenges, to ensure there's no foul play!” Kowalski asks: “What makes BLONDA qualified to be a coach/referee?!” Blonda says: “I have a whistle, your argument is invalid! Also, I''m being forced to do this because I'm on probation, on account of all the bad behavior that I did LAST season!” Sniz says: “Also, you can expect to see some of our old favorite contestants pop up from time to time, to demonstrate how the challenges work, or as paid interns helping to make this show run properly!” Po says: “Nice to know that Tigress and I aren't the ONLY familiar faces returning this season!”

Fondue says: “And finally, the biggest twist of this season, all of the Fairy Godparents except for Blonda are now on STRIKE!” Danny asks: “Why is that?!” (Flashback) Two random male fairies get together, and one says: “I'm not poofing anything!” The other one says: “I'M not poofing anything!” And the first one asks: “And why is that?” And they suddenly sing: “Cause we're on STRIKE!!!! We're on strike, we're on strike, we do anything we like!” And the second one asks: “And why is that?” And they both sing: “Cause we're on STRIKE!!!!” (Flashback ends)

Fondue shrugs his shoulders, and he says: “Who knows? In any case, that means that for this season, I have gotten us replacement magical help, in the form of the Anti-Fairies of The Fairly Oddparents!” Anti-Cosmo creepily appears, and he says: “Finally! A chance for ME to be in the limelight for once! It just feels SO refreshing for Anti-Poof and I to be let out of the Anti-Fairy world for once!” Sniz gives Fondue a dumb-struck look, and Sniz says: “Fondue, I thought you were JOKING about getting the Anti-Fairies to work for us!” Fondue says: “Sniz, I never joke about anything! We're NOT going to wait for the Fairy strike to be over! Time is money! And time waits for no one! We are GOING to do this season, and we're going to do it NOW!” Sniz says: “But Fondue, there is no telling what sort of magic, fair or foul, may befall our contestants this season!” Fondue says: “And I'm telling you that I don't CARE! Look, if it makes you feel any better, I will take FULL responsibility for ANY mayhem, or BIG ratings, that this season is going to get!” Sniz sighs, and says: “Very well, then! In that case, may luck be on your side, contestants! And, as of right now, on OUR side as well, as we enter what may be the riskiest entry in our series so far, Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! For the last time, Fondue, I have a feeling that this Anti-Fairy business is going to be a bad idea!” Fondue says: “Noted and ignored, moving on!” /

The following musical sequence shows Sniz walking slowly through the brand new hotel, lip-syncing to the song. He walks out to the pool, where Blonda is lounging on a pool chair, wearing white shades, in a yellow, full-body swimsuit, than puts her finger and her thumb into the shape of an “L” on her forehead. The camera quickly pans up the mountain, than down into the water of the lake, to show Private trying to catch fish, but missing every single time he tries to catch one! Kowalski catches him with a highly sophisticated crane machine, and pulls him up out of the water, but Rico tackles Kowalski, causing Kowalski to CRANK the machine too hard, and throws Private HIGH up into the air. Private lands into the lap of Katarra, who is floating in the air in a clearing, and Private is CREEPED out by how she is doing that! In the same clearing, Po is picking up mushrooms, only to be playfully slapped on the back by Tigress, who motions him to challenge him to a race! The camera pans to the left, to show Danny Fenton and Jenny in a canoe on a river. Danny is acting dramatically to Jenny, who is too interested in watching him to notice that they are headed towards a waterfall, which they fall down! Down below, Johnny Krill is on a log bridge, showing off his strength by lifting a heavy tree log! But when Jenny and Danny land on the log, the weight is too much for the log bridge that Johnny is standing on, and they fall into the water below! The camera pans to the left, to show Bubble Bass standing outside the public restroom, looking at the situation, wondering if he should do something to help them out, but his thoughts are interrupted when General Barracuda comes out angrily of the restroom, looking for someone to take his anger out on, until both of them are distracted by a delicious smell coming from the cafeteria. In the cafeteria, Fondue puts on a pair of earphone mufflers, than he grabs a big spoonful of chili to give to Bessie Higgenbottom, who is shown to be running at the mouth! Fondue than puts the spoon of chili into Bessie's mouth to make her STOP talking! The camera than pans to the left, to show Fee taking meticulous care of her hair with hairspray, until she notices the camera looking right AT her, and she sprays her hairspray into the camera to get them to stop filming her! The camera than pans outside, to show Tigress and Po have finished running, and Tigress jumps up and down in joy as she has clearly beaten Po, while Po just pants in exhaustion! The camera pans to the right, to show former contestants Patty Mayonnaise, Norbert, Rocko, Spongebob, Lil, Otto, and Stimpy under a sign that says “Intern try-outs”, listening to Anti-Cosmo talk about something; but when he ignites his wand to show off his magic, lightning inexplicably comes to STRIKE him, causing everyone else to laugh as a result! The camera pans further to the right to show Brittany Miller looking ABSOLUTELY fabulous, and posing for all the entourage paparazzi taking pictures of her, but she's interrupted when Sniz appears on a jet-pack above her, and dumps a bucket of water on her, ruining her mood. The scene transitions to night, when Po and Tigress are sharing a tender moment together, until General Barracuda appears in a haz-mat suit, holding a pair of metal tongs which is holding a purple marshmallow, which causes Po and Tigress to reel back from it with apprehension. The camera than pans out to show all the contestants, General Barracuda, Sniz, Fondue, and Blonda around a campfire. The camp sign at the entrance reads: Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back created by Jason Cantu. /

The show intro plays, to the tune of a VERY familiar hit song by Smash Mouth! Greg Camp sings: “Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an 'L' on her forehead. Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go, you'll never shine if you don't glow. Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play! Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid! And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars break the mold! (Whistles, scatting). Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play! Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show, on get paid! And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars! Somebody once asked, could I spare some change for gas? I need to get myself away from this place! I said, 'Yep, what a concept.' I could use a little fuel myself, and we could all use a little change! Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming, fed to the rules and I hit the ground running! Didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb! So much to do, so much to see, so what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. (Go!) You'll never shine if you don't glow! Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play! Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid! And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars break the mold! And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars break the mold!” /

Everybody's a Critic!” / The show opens up again, and Sniz says: “Welcome back to our first episode of the new season, already in progress! It's time to break you up into groups of two! Johnny Krill and Po, will you two step forward, please?” Johnny Krill asks: “Just step forward?! I'm Johnny Krill, man! I NEVER just step forward!” Tigress rolls her eyes, and says: “Just what I needed; Twister 2.0!” Po says: “Sure, but, why do you want the two of us to step forward?” Sniz says: “Because you two are going to be the team leaders of the two teams, this season!” Johnny Krill says: “Awesome, man! The competition hasn't even started yet, and I'm ALREADY a winner!” Tigress says: “You know that the designation of 'Team leader', is a purely cosmetic title, right?” Johnny Krill says: “Yes, but that doesn't mean that I can't enjoy the designation any less, girl!” Tigress spares him a brief smile, and says: “Well, at least you're nowhere NEAR as STUPID as Twister was! Maybe this season won't be so bad, after all!” Sniz says: “Now, when I call your name, you will join either Po, or Johnny Krill, in alternating fashion! Rico, you're with Po!” Rico unexpectedly shouts: “Blah!!!!” Sniz says: “Tigress, you're with Johnny!” Tigress groans, and she says: “Of course I am!” Po whispers: “Don't worry, I'll go easy on you, so the other team won't vote you off!” Tigress says: “You just worry about your OWN safety, and leave the worrying of MY safety, to myself!” Sniz says: “Kowalski, you're with Po!” Kowalski says: “Being with the power panda should prove greatly advantageous to my ability to prevail in team challenges.” Sniz says: “Bessie, you're with Johnny!” Bessie says: “Awesome! You know, my great-great-great grandmother once tamed tigers in Africa, along with Stanley, Doctor Livingstone, and--.” Tigress yells: “No one CARES, Bessie!!!!” Fondue says: “THANK you!” Sniz says: “Private, you're with Po!” Private says: “Really?! I'm usually picked LAST for these sorts of things! This could be the start of something new for me!” Sniz says: “Brittany, you're with Johnny.” Brittany says: “Well, it's about time SOMEONE recognized true talent and beauty!” Tigress says: “You may be talented, but you sure aren't STRONG!” Brittany scoffs, and she says: “Everybody's a critic! You see what I did, just now? I just did a title drop!”

Sniz says: “Jenny, you're with Po!” Jenny says: “Cool! I always wanted to fight side by side with a Kung Fu Master!” Po says: “If there IS any fighting this season! There's no telling what kinds of challenges we may end up facing!” Sniz says: “Bubble Bass, you're with Johnny!” Bubble Bass says: “Wouldn't be the first time I was ordered to do something I didn't REALLY like! Still, I've been in WORSE situations before. I suppose I can make this work.” Tigress says: “Let's hope so, for YOUR own sake!” Sniz says: “Danny, you're with Po!” Jenny says: “That's cool! We're on the same team together!” Danny nervously says: “Yeah. This should be...exciting!”

Sniz says: “Katarra, you're with Johnny.” And Katarra eerily floats over to where Johnny is, and Johnny asks: “How are you doing THAT, girl?! That's just super-freaky!” Katarra calmly says: “It's air-bending. Anyone with a mastery over the wind can float on even the gentlest breeze! And also, I've been reading your auras! Johnny, you are a self-proclaimed daddy's boy, with a need to impress your father who's never home, by winning a bunch of trophies in order to fill the empty void in your life. Tigress, you have a superiority complex, driven by your ingrained drive to win at everything you do, and a need to dominate the main man in your life. Bubble Bass, your snide, sarcastic comments are driven by feeling over-protected by your mother, and your need to break out of your jerk-face facade, because you currently have no friends.” Bubble Bass panics, and asks: “Who told you that?!” Kowalski asks: “Say, what does Rico's aura read like?” Katarra closes her eyes, and she says: “Hmm, I can't really get a fix on Rico's aura, it's all jumbled up like a puzzle with a bunch of pieces that don't really fit together; but I AM picking up something interesting in regards to Danny Fenton. It feels like his soul, while originally intact, has for reasons unknown, become fractured into many different, unique pieces. Almost like they were split personalities, each fighting for control in the same body!” Danny nervously says: “What?! That's just ridiculous!” Sniz says: “Theodore, you're with Po!” Theodore nervously says: “Okay, just don't expect me to do a lot of running, or heavy lifting! I'm only a chipmunk, you know!” Po says: “Don't worry, I have enough strength for ALL of us!” Kowalski says: “Maybe, but do you have enough immunity for all of us?” Sniz says: “And Fee, you're with Johnny!” Fee says: “Woo-hoo! Ain't no party, like a Fee, female party! Because the Fee female party don't stop!” Bessie says: “Ooh! I like parties! In fact, my great-great-great uncle P.T. Barnum, invented the concept of parties, when he invented the circus, which included elephants, acrobats, lions, and monkeys, and--.”

Blonda says: “Stop, Bessie, STOP!!!!” Sniz says: “THANK you! Everyone who is with Po, your team will henceforth be known as the Power Pandas! And a green emblem, with a strong panda, appears as their team logo! Sniz says: “Everyone who is with Johnny Krill, your team will henceforth be known as the Killer Prawns!” And a red logo, with a strong krill, appears as their team logo! Tigress asks: “The Killer Prawns?! You would THINK you could create a more original team name than THAT, like 'Team Tigress and her team is unstoppable' or something like that!”

Sniz says: “Well, that won't be happening for NOW; but maybe some other time! Now, as far as living conditions go, just like in the first season, you will normally be living in cabins, and eating whatever Fondue and General Barracuda feel like cooking. But as a brand new, first-time bonus for this season; starting now, and lasting the rest of the season, the winning team and/or contestants, who win the challenges, will get to spend the time between challenges, relaxing at our brand new luxury hotel for winners, eating at an all-you-can eat buffet, and getting pampered however you see fit. As for the Losing Team and/or contestants, they will have to face a dreaded Elimination Ceremony, will someone have to be voted off, and take the Slingshot of Shame!” Private says: “Slingshot?! What happened to the Dock of Shame, or the Walk of Shame that Skipper told me about?!” Sniz says: “We were inspired by The Angry Birds Movie! And don't worry, losers WILL be wearing protective gear, and land on a gigantic pillow! After all, safety IS our number one concern!” Bubble Bass looks at Bessie, and he says: “And I have a feeling that I already know who I would want the FIRST boot off of our team to be!” Tigress says: “And I find it SHOCKING that I actually AGREE with you!” Sniz says: “Also, in a change from our first season, you will no longer need to use a stinky outhouse as the Confessional. This season, you can use our very own cafeteria, to make any Confessions that you want to!” (Confessional) Private is in the very clean cafeteria where there are a lot of long, white tables around. Private says: “So the reason why I joined this season, other than wanting to help out Rico and Kowalski, and avenge Skipper, is that Skipper says that I'm really not as coordinated as the rest of them. So, I hope these challenges will help in training me better!”

(End Confessional) Sniz says: “Now, with that explanation out of the way, it's time to perform our first challenge of the season!” Brittany says: “Wait! We're doing a challenge ALREADY?!” Sniz says: “We only HAVE 14 episodes ordered, as far as WE know! And there's only 14 of you! This season, with the exception of the Performance Review and the last episode, every single CHALLENGE will be an Elimination Challenge!” (Confessional) Tigress chuckles, and she says: “Now THIS is what I'm talking about! I like these odds! I find that I always perform better when there's pressure involved! If I play my cards right, I won't have to stick around any losers for long! This season could work out to my advantage!” / Jenny says: “Well, my human mom...which is kind of hard to explain without the proper context, told me that this season of competition might be a little rough, but this show has NEVER been THIS hard before! Still, if I can prevent hostile aliens from annihilating the human race on a daily basis, I'm sure I can handle a little old competition. I just got to stay focused on my surroundings, and not let myself be caught off guard by any other contestants who might want to do me or anybody else any harm!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “For our first challenge this season, you must either choose to run or swim, to the other side of the island!” Po asks: “Well, what's the difference?” Sniz says: “Well, there are different types of dangers, obstacles, and advantages to both methods of travel. Trust me on this. Now, once you get to the other side of the island, each team will be looking for a chest with their team emblem on it, and bring it back here. The first team that brings back their chest with its contents intact, will win the first challenge, and immunity until the next challenge! And I think you can safely guess about what happens to the LOSING team!” Fee rolls her eyes and says: “Elimination. Well, it can't be any worse than NOT being invited to Princess' lame parties, or being 'shamed' by Dade, simply because I don't like to play by HIS rules! Still, I don't plan on losing anytime soon!” Johnny Krill says: “Neither do I! I want to win this thing just as much as the rest of you do!”

Tigress chuckles, and she says: “Now that's my kind of talk!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “Despite not being a team captain, it looks like I might have lucked out this season. I have a leader who wants to win as much as I do. It won't be easy competing against my main man, Po. But then again, nothing much fun in life ever IS, easy! Besides, every single challenge makes me grow stronger and better as a Kung Fu Master!” / Johnny says: “Even though my dad isn't around much, he always taught me to be observant, and look around at my surroundings, and at others who are around me. That way, I will know how to react to anything that comes my way! That's how winners are able to WIN so often! It's the secret of MY success!” (End Confessional) Private says: “I pick swimming!” Jenny says: “I pick running!” Johnny says: “I pick swimming!” Tigress says: “I pick running!” Bubble Bass says: “I pick swimming, its one of the FEW sports I'm really GOOD at, for OBVIOUS reasons!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “If you must ask how it is that fish creatures like me and Johnny Krill, are able to be IN an environment that has a lot of air in it, without a water helmet, it is very simple! Sandy Cheeks created some pills which stabilize an aquatic creatures ability to retain water, even if they are not completely surrounded by it. We only need to drink water when we absolutely need to, just like a land creature would. It's actually a pretty handy trick, if I do say so myself. Still, I won't get far if I think that there will only be swimming challenges, because there is certainly no way that they will only play to that strength of mine this entire season. So, I will have to mostly rely on my other strength. Namely, my intellect and ability to create clever plans! Of course, playing the way Bulma Briefs did is not going to work. It bit her in the butt QUITE hard! Besides, I don't need to be THAT devious in order to win, and I don't need a stick in order to get what I want. I just need the carrot. Besides, I heard that you can attract a fly a lot better with honey, than you can with vinegar. How that relates to any challenges I might have to face? I honestly have no idea.” (End Confessional) Danny says: “I pick running, I guess!”

Than Danny suddenly jerks, and adopting the pose of an elderly man, and imitating Rodney Dangerfield, he says: “Running?! The only running I like to do is running away from tax collectors who want a piece of my 401K! No respect, I tell you!” Than Danny jerks back to normal, and Private asks: “What was THAT?!” (Confessional) Private says: “Thanks to my experience as a Penguin Commando in training, I'm used to seeing a lot of weird things, but that might be the WEIRDEST thing I've ever seen, even by NICKTOONS standards! Is what Katarra said TRUE?! That there are different aspects to Danny's personality?” / Danny nervously says: “I...have a slight problem. You see, I have the ability to go ghost, or, turn into a Phantom. I call myself Danny Phantom. But lately, I have been experiencing a slight...hiccup when it comes to my ability to do that. Apparently, whenever I go ghost, it puts a strain on my psyche, and drives the aspects of my personalities apart! Now, instead of being able to GO ghost whenever I want, the different aspects of my personality instead, wants to CHANNEL ghosts, and strangely enough, of FAMOUS people! Obviously, I've been trying to figure out a cure for this problem, and stabilize myself. But I can't do it with the limited resources and money that I have. I hope that by winning this season, I'll be able to put that money towards buying the materials that I need, in order to stabilize my personality, and fix it so that this problem doesn't keep popping up!” (End Confessional) Po says: “I pick swimming!” Fee says: “I pick running! Nothing is going to mess up MY beautiful hair perm!” (Confessional) Fee says: “It may not look like it, but I have to work VERY hard, in order to get my hair looking as good, and as pretty as it does! I am the ENVY of Little Bark! And confidentially, I think Harvey might have a crush on me! Of course, it would be very hard for him, to NOT have a crush on me!” (End Confessional) Kowalski says: “I pick swimming!” Theodore nervously says: “I pick running, I guess. I don't feel that comfortable in my swimming shorts just yet!” Fee says: “You could always swim in the NUDE, like my brother Foo does!”

Bubble Bass gives Fee a shocked look, and he says: “First off, T.M.I., too much information! And second and most importantly, YOU disgust me!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “If there's one thing I can be proud of, that differentiates myself from other challengers, is that I believe that EVERYBODY should have standards! And even though I personally don't have a LOT; the ones that I do have, I value VERY highly! I honestly don't know how FEE got picked to be in this season!” / Fee says: “I was just telling it like it is! I certainly don't think it's MY fault if the other challengers find it disgusting! Besides, certain people can be such PRUDES, you know!” / Theodore says: “I'm mostly here to lose some weight, and hopefully do something that will get Alvin and Simon to notice me more.” (End Confessional)

Rico says: “Bleh!” Fondue asks: “What did he say?!” Kowalski says: “He says that he picks swimming!” (Confessional) Kowalski says: “Just for the record, I did not sign on for this season to primarily be Rico's translator! I came here to see how I would do in a competition of this nature. Mostly, FOR the SCIENCE!” / Rico shrugs his shoulders and says: “Bleh?”; as if to say, 'I don't know.' (End Confessional) Bessie says: “I pick running, because bees don't like to get wet!” Brittany changes into a VERY fancy swimsuit, and she says: “I pick swimming, it will give me a chance to get in the next issue of People Magazine!” Theodore's eyes open up wide, and he says: “Wow! You look INCREDIBLE!!!!” (Confessional) Theodore says: “Why have I never noticed before just how BEAUTIFUL Brittany looks before?! I mean, what rule says that I HAVE to fall in love with Eleanor, just because she has the same shape that I do?! I mean, that would make me SUCH a narcissist if I did that! Besides, Brittany would NEVER be happy with Alvin, they'd just FIGHT all the time! I've got to try to get Brittany into my LIFE, somehow!” / Brittany says: “Being the successful pop diva that I am, I must take every opportunity to strut my stuff whenever there's an opportunity to do so! After all, my albums and my brand TECHNICALLY don't sell themselves, you know. Though it would be pretty COOL, if they did!” (End Confessional) Katarra eerily floats forward, and she says: “I will be running, if I FEEL like letting my feet touch the ground.” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Have I already mentioned just how much that Katarra girl CREEPS me out?! Somebody has got to nail that girl's feet to the FLOOR! Or, something that doesn't involve nails, that keeps her tied to the ground! Seriously, THAT isn't natural!” / Bessie says: “I wish I could fly like THAT! Did you know that my great-great-great Uncle twice removed on my father's side INVENTED the first practical airplane in 1903?! His name was--!” (Confessional cuts early). The swimmers have all changed into swimming gear, and the runners are all ready to go. Sniz says: “Okay, everybody has picked what they are going to do, and everybody is raring to go! Let's get this show on the road!” Fondue says: “Right! Anti-Cosmo?!” Anti-Cosmo appears, and says: “You rang? I always wanted to say that!”

Fondue says: “Start us off!” Anti-Cosmo says: “Right! Ready? Set, GO!!!!” And he ignites his wand, but a bolt of lightning inexplicably comes down to hit him, and the racers make down their different paths. Anti-Cosmo coughs and says: Funny. That sort of thing NEVER happened to David Copperfield!” Blonda chuckles, and smugly says: “Looks like Anti-Cosmo is having some MAGIC malfunction! Isn't that right, Snizzie-Poo?” Sniz says: “I guess so. And DON'T call me 'Snizzie-Poo'! Got it?!” Blonda says: “Yeah, I got it! Old KILL joy!” / Brittany, Johnny, Kowalski, Private, and Rico are all starting to swim through Lake Michigan, while Bubble Bass SURPRISINGLY swims fast pass by them, and Po suddenly catches up to them! Kowalski asks: “Po, since when was Bubble Bass able to move so fast?!” Po says: “I don't know why you're asking me! I personally don't know anything more about him than you do!” Johnny says: “From what I know, there are only TWO reasons Bubble Bass EVER moves fast! Either he smells a bite of delicious food from ten miles away, or he can sense the smell of something dangerous in the water!” Rico says: “Bleh!” Kowalski nervously says: “Rico just said we're not alone!” And four shark fins appear to break the surface of the water! (Confessional) Brittany says: “I just want to state, for the record, I did NOT sign up for this show to be menaced by sharks! I only signed up for this show as a chance to look fabulous, as well as the free screen-time, and using it as a publicity stunt to help move the albums of both the Chipmunks and the Chipettes!” Brittany sighs, and says: “There, I gave you a promo, Alvin! Can I get paid now?” / Bubble Bass says: “For the record, I was not SCARED! I just wasn't interested in fighting ANY sharks if I didn't have to! Besides, I'm sure Po can fight them off! I mean, he IS a Kung Fu Master! And besides, them being busy with the sharks, will give me PLENTY of time to do some deep sea diving around here! I mean, there's got to be SOMETHING valuable around here! Otherwise, Sniz and Fondue wouldn't even do a show here!” /

Po says: “When it comes to normal sharks, they are totally NOT a problem! Unfortunately, these WEREN'T just any ordinary sharks!” (End Confessional) The four sharks emerge from the water, equipped with heat-seeking MISSILE launchers, and eyes that shoot FREAKING laser beams! Private asks: “Sharks that shoot LASER beams?! That's impossible!” Kowalski says: “Unless their basic D.N.A. Structure, has already been altered by the Anti-Magic of the Anti-Fairies, and they've mutated them into some kind of super sharks!” Po shouts: “Guys, scramble!!!!” And everyone EXCEPT Po scatters in five different directions, and Po just floats still, awaiting the onslaught of the sharks! Johnny asks: “What are you DOING, Po?!” Po says: “I'll hold them off! You go and finish the challenge!” Brittany says: “Better you than US, if you ask me!” Johnny says: “How DARE you call yourself a team player!” Private says: “Even RICO knows better, and at least HALF of him is on the side of NOBODY except his own deranged, random thoughts!” And Rico affirmatively says: “Bleh!” Brittany says: “Well, I'm NOT going to be fighting any sharks! As a chipmunk, I am not equipped for the rigors of such laborious tasks! I'm going to keep swimming, and keep looking fabulous!” And Brittany swims off on her own, and Johnny shouts back: “You better hope we don't lose this, because your immunity chances just sunk SUPER low!” Kowalski says: “Private, Rico and I will stay here and help Johnny and Po! You better go on ahead and get that chest for us!” Private sighs, and says: “All right! I hope you know what you're doing!” (Confessional) Brittany says: “Some men and women are BORN to take risks and face danger on a daily basis! I am NOT one of those women, and I have no intention of EVER being one! The only risk I want to face, is having to decide which of my GLAMOROUS outfits, I should wear at the next Grammy Awards Ceremony.” / Johnny says: “All in all, this is NOT a stellar start to my time as Team leader of my team! I should have the respect and confidence of my entire team, and instead, I'm quitting Squiddly Diddly, if you know what I mean! Note to self; when this challenge is over, I will ask Tigress just what it takes to be a Team Captain!” / Po says: “Sending Private ahead was a purely strategic decision! It's not that we doubted his ability to fight, we just needed someone to win the challenge! It was nothing personal!” (End Confessional)

Johnny says: “All right! It's time to send these freaks back to the Cannery! Preferably, Cannery Row in Monterrey, California!” Po says: “I sure hope the runners are having as ROTTEN of a time as WE are!” / The action switches to the runners, and it is showing TIGRESS absolutely kicking BUTT, as she continuously knocks down robot after robot that SNAPTRAP is sending out, to try to attack the runners, but Tigress keeps BREAKING them before they have the chance to do so! Snaptrap yells: “Would you MIND your own BUSINESS, Tigress?! You are RUINING my plan to make a bunch of MONEY off of this season!” Tigress says: “You're SO pathetic! Your ideas NEVER work! And you have NO credibility, now that you and Angelica are an item!” Snaptrap says: “Shows what YOU know! Angelica told me that she has actually found MY fur to be quite comforting to the touch! Not to mention, that SHE pleases me, in a way that nobody else EVER has!” Tigress sarcastically says: “Bravo. You both just won Bronze, Silver, and Gold, in being able to find the most PATHETIC partner in the HISTORY of Pathetic partners!” Snaptrap says: “I'll show YOU pathetic! Wait! Who won the Gold?!” Tigress says: “That was a RHETORICAL statement!” Snaptrap says: “That really needs to come BEFORE the statement! I can never tell with you! In any case, you can't stop ALL my robots!” And before Snaptrap can even blink, Tigress destroys every single last one of Snaptrap's robots! Tigress asks: “Want to BET?!” Snaptrap growls angrily, and he says: “You win THIS round, Tigress! Smoke screen exit!” And Snaptrap throws down a giant smoke bomb, and makes his escape before anyone can stop him from doing so! Fee says: “Man, I hate it when a villain pulls an 'Exit, Stage Left'.” Jenny says: “I really wish you would have let us help you fight, Tigress.” Katarra floats forward, and without even opening her eyes, merely says: “It is not wise to argue with Tigress. She's the type of warrior who might rip your ARMS off if she loses a fight! Tigers HAVE been known to do that!”

And everyone looks at Tigress, as she flexes her arm muscles, and kisses BOTH of her strong muscle bumps in her arms! Theodore nervously says: “Yeah, I see your point. Jenny, I suggest a new strategy going forward. Let Tigress handle all the fighting!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “For me, fighting, even if it's just a bunch of robots, is a VERY serious business for me! I take everything seriously, not because I HAVE to, but because I usually want to! When I enter in a competition, than my 'Fight' mode, is usually my default mode! I don't see any point in changing a winning strategy!” / Katarra still has her eyes closed, and she says: “It is said that the tree that will not bend, must ALWAYS inevitably BREAK!” / Theodore Seville says: “I'm just going to say that anybody who would WANT to face against Tigress in a Final Two BESIDES Po, would have to be pretty crazy in order to do so!” (End Confessional) Bessie says: “You know, these robotic remains are pretty interesting! In fact, my great-great-great grandfather, was one of THE fathers of Modern Robotics! He figured out Digital processing and--!” Fee gets annoyed, and fiercely says: “For once in your LIFE; Bessie Higgenbottom, SHUT UP!!!!” Bessie says: “Shut up?! Why, certainly! You don't think I'm the type of person who keeps on blabbing and never shuts up?! I know lots of people who keep on blabbing and never shut up! Some people just don't know when to stop blabbing and when to shut up! But when I'm told to shut up, I shut--!” Theodore loudly cries: “Shut up, Shutting up!” And Katarra closes her eyes, and sends down a lightning bolt that hits Bessie Higgenbottom DIRECTLY in the mouth! Danny says: “WOW!!!! Were you the one who hit Anti-Cosmo with a lightning bolt earlier?!” Katarra says: “Due to the nature of the competition we are in, I will neither confirm nor deny that I had ANY role in letting nature take out its frustration on that SHRILL of a girl, or an Anti-Fairy! However, I'll let you have three guess as to what the correct answer is, and the first two don't count!” Danny says: “Don't worry! I totally got you on THAT count! (Confessional) Katarra says: “I send down a lightning bolt to take care of anyone that annoys me. Or, whenever I need a good laugh! Who says Water Benders don't have a sense of humor?!” / Danny says: “Note to self; remember to NEVER get on Katarra's BAD side!” (End Confessional)

Meanwhile, on the far side of the island, Private is the first contestant to arrive to search for the treasure chest! Private says: “Wow! I'm actually the first contestant here! But, where's Bubble Bass? He was way ahead of me!” / The action swifts to Bubble Bass, who is looking for stuff on the bottom of the Lake. Bubble Bass says: “Now, let's see. If I were something valuable, where would I be hidden?” And his eyes suddenly spot a bunch of PRETTY sea jewels, of sapphire and aquamarine colors, glittering on the lake floor! Bubble Bass says: “Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Unlike Bulma, I'm not going to waste the entire season trying to WORK for something that I might not even get! If there's an easy opportunity to get some easy money from this thing, I'm going to take it! I mean, it would be totally stupid NOT to!” (End Confessional) Bubble Bass begins stuffing his short pockets with the jewels, when all of a sudden, SPONGEBOB swims in, only he's completely NAKED!!!! Spongebob asks: “Bubble Bass?! You're still wearing clothes?!” Bubble Bass asks: “And you're NOT?! Why are you even here?!” Spongebob says: “Neptune's Moon just hit Bikini Bottom! Every single sea creature who saw it turned feral! And after that, when Neptune's Moon was extinguished, every single sea creature who saw the moon, ended up turning up naked! It's chaos in Bikini Bottom! That's why I've been traveling around, searching for SOMEONE who might be able to give us some money for some new clothes or something, because no one in Bikini Bottom can walk INTO a store without any clothes to wear, which is honestly, kind of a Catch 22. And I'm honestly surprised that I know what that IS! Could you spare some jewels for some new clothes?” Bubble Bass says: “New CLOTHES?!!! Get them yourself! I have FAR more important things to worry about than the concerns of a sponge who I don't really like, and I only tolerate when its CONVENIENT for me to do so!”

Spongebob says: “But this is your chance to do something nice and DIFFERENT for a change! You should take the chance to enjoy it!” Bubble Bass says: “I already AM doing something nice and different! I'm competing in a game show, partially to lose some weight, and get more athletically fit! And if I can win some money for my mom, all the better for me! Besides, I see absolutely no scenario right now, in which me, helping you, would help me get what I want. I mean, what would my incentive be, anyways?” Spongebob suggests: “The reward of doing something nice for someone without expecting anything in return?” Bubble Bass asks: “What kind of FOOL came up with that?!” Spongebob says: “I'm not sure. It was just a SUGGESTION, anyways! You're no help, I'll find someone else!” And Spongebob swims away!

Bubble Bass says: “Good riddance! It would be a cold day in Davy Jones' locker before I ever help that creepy little sponge out!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “In my life, there are two MAJOR things I don't like! I don't like being told what to do, and I don't like sponge's who have a TERRIBLE concept of personal space, and whether or not they are annoying you! And I don't care if he thinks it IS mean! Unlike Squidward, I'm not going to lie and even PRETEND that Spongebob is someone I would want to be around with! It's the principle of the matter, and I'm sticking to it!” (End Confessional) The camera shifts back to Private, and Private says: “In any case, I can't afford to mess around! I need to find our chest quickly, and bring it back to Sniz and Fondue! I'll just take a look around first, to see if it's out in the open, before I spend my time trying to excavate in random spots!” / The camera shifts back to Bubble Bass, and he's STILL stuffing his shorts with a bunch of blue jewels! Bubble Bass says: “I personally don't know how these jewels got here; and quite frankly, I don't care! All I know is that I am going to be living the good life, once I sell these off to the highest bidder!” Than all of the sudden, PATRICK swims in, and HE'S completely naked to! Patrick says: “Bubble Bass?! You haven't been affected by Neptune's Moon?!” Bubble Bass replies: “How would I be affected by Neptune's Moon? I wasn't even IN Bikini Bottom when it happened?! And where are YOUR shorts?!” Patrick says: “Obviously, I lost them!” Bubble Bass asks: “Can't you just go back home and put on a NEW pair?!”

Patrick says: “Would you believe it's the ONLY pair I had? I sunk all my money into getting my rock gold-painted and gold plated!” Bubble Bass says: “You WOULD do something as insipid and as meaningless as that! And having only one pair of shorts TOTALLY sounds like you!” Patrick asks: “Anyways, would you please give me some jewels so I can buy some new ones?” Bubble Bass seriously says: “Spongebob already ASKED me that STUPID question! If I said 'No', to him; what makes YOU think I would say 'Yes', to you?! You rank even LOWER on my Toleration-o-meter than Spongebob does!” Patrick says: “I thought you might have changed your mind! I mean, give me ONE good reason as to what those jewels would do for you, that helping someone else wouldn't!” Bubble Bass says: “I could come up with 1.4 MILLION reasons that the jewels are more helpful to me than YOU are, and not all of them revolve around cash!” Patrick groans, and he says: “Fine! Continue being selfish! It won't help you in the long run!” And Patrick swims away! (Confessional) Bubble Bass asks: “What is this, a STUPIDITY convention?! I haven't been around THIS many morons, since the Society of the Nitwits decided to roll into town! I wonder if Neil Degrasse Tyson ever has days like this?!” (End Confessional) The camera shifts back to Private, as he's frantically looking all over the place for the hidden chest of the Power Pandas! Private says: “It won't be too long before the other team gets here! I just need to think about this logically! If I were hiding a chest for a Power Panda, where would I hide it?! I mean, what do pandas like more than anything else in the world?!” And Private looks around, and he spots a big bamboo grove! Private says: “Of course! Pandas eat bamboo in the wild! It's like the main staple of their diet!” (Confessional) Private says: “I pick up a lot of information about wild animals by watching programs off of Animal Planet, and occasionally, The Wild Thornberries! Who says knowledge doesn't pay off?!” (End Confessional) Private says: “Chest, here I come!” And he hears some rustling in the bushes, and the runners for the Killer Prawns emerge from them! Tigress says: “All right team, we made it! Now it's time to find our chest and help ME win like I always do!” Fee strongly asks: “WHAT?!!!”

Tigress says: “Freudian Slip! Said 'Me', meant to say, 'Us'!” Private says: “And just in time, to! With Tigress' mad skills, its not going to take her too long before SHE figures out where HER team's chest is! I just hope the rest of my team arrives soon to help me carry my chest back!” (Confessional) Fee says: “I just want to state that if it were up to me, there's no way I would let someone as self-absorbed as TIGRESS, get anywhere NEAR the Final Five! I just hope I last long enough to actually DO something about it!” / Tigress says: “Note to self; I REALLY got to work on getting into being a team player more, and not make anymore slip-ups like that!” (End Confessional) The action switches back to Bubble Bass, and he finishes stuffing his shorts, and even his shirt pocket, with jewels! Bubble Bass says: “Well, that's all of them! Now, I just got to hang onto these, until I can figure out a way to sell them! There's bound to be SOMEBODY who will pay a good price for these!” And Bubble Bass swims forward a bit, and he inevitably BUMPS into a treasure chest! Bubble Bass asks: “Now who would put a hunk of metal down on this...LAKE?!!! Wait; this is the treasure chest that MY team needs to find! But, why is it hidden down here! Oh, wait! Our team is the Killer PRAWNS! And where do prawns normally live? In the water! It makes perfect sense! If I can get this chest back to our team, I'll finally be treated with the amount of respect and admiration I deserve!” And Bubble Bass tries to pick up the chest, but he can BARELY lift it off the ground! Bubble Bass asks: “What is this chest MADE out of, solid gold?!” (Confessional) Anti-Cosmo says: “It was totally MY idea to make the chests out of solid gold; Awesome, but Impractical for the contestants to carry, but totally FUNNY for me, to watch them struggle!” (End Confessional) Bubble Bass continues to struggle, but he just can't lift it up by himself! Bubble Bass groans, and he says: “It's no good! I'll never be able to move this hunk of junk by myself! Oh, the absolute IRONY! If only I hadn't blown off my team earlier, I wouldn't BE in this predicament right now!” Than unexpectedly, Larry swims by, and HE'S completely naked, to!

Larry asks: “Bubble Bass, you're still wearing clothes?!” Bubble Bass asks: “Larry?! Wait! Don't tell me, let me guess; Neptune's Moon?” Larry asks: “How did you know?” Bubble Bass replies: “Spongebob and Patrick already came by earlier, asking me for some help with their problem!” Larry asks: “So why didn't you help them?” Bubble Bass answers: “Well, if you must know the honest truth, I didn't think it was that important for me to do so at the time. But you're a strong guy, right? How about you help me with this treasure chest?!” Larry says: “I don't know. Why should I help YOU out?! You wouldn't give any help to Spongebob and Patrick when THEY asked for it! Why should I extend any favors to YOU?!” Bubble Bass says: “Because you actually ARE a good guy and are supposed to do that?!” Larry says: “Ordinarily, that would be enough. But because you DISSED my good friends, Spongebob and Patrick, you're going to have to step up to MORE than THAT!!!!” Bubble Bass says: “D'oh!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Of ALL the double-edged ironies! How could I POSSIBLY forget that Spongebob and Patrick are friends with Larry?! And now I'm stuck having to suck up to him?! If I didn't NEED the money so badly, I wouldn't even CONSIDER helping him! But because he's so strong and can probably beat me up if I refuse, it looks like I'm going to have to swallow my dignity, and CONVINCE him to help me!” (End Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Fine! I'll give you...10% of the jewels I found to help you buy some new clothes!” Larry says: “Make it 20%!” Bubble Bass strongly says: “10%!” Larry defiantly says: “20%!” Bubble Bass yells: “10%!” Larry smugly says: “30%!” Bubble Bass asks: “What happened to 20%?!” Larry asks: “Did I stutter? And there's only one direction I'm going to go from here, and it's NOT in your favor!”

Bubble Bass groans, and he says: “Fine! 20%!” And Bubble Bass counts out 20% of the jewels he gathered, and hands them to Larry, who puts it in a make-shift sea purse he made off of the ocean floor! Larry says: “Nice doing business, with you!” Bubble Bass says: “Thanks for not beating me to a pulp! Now help me!” Larry says: “Say the magic word!” Bubble Bass rhetorically says: “NOW?!!!” Larry says: “No. The ACTUAL magic word!” Bubble Bass gulps, and he says: “I just ALMOST threw up in my mouth! Not THAT!!!! ANYTHING but THAT!!!!” Larry says: “It's that, or NO assistance from me!” Bubble Bass says: “Fine!” And Bubble Bass seems to really struggle, grunt, and groan, as Bubble Bass slowly, and seems to incorrectly pronounce: “Puh...lee...ase?!” Larry asks: “Is THAT the best that you can say, 'Please'?!” Bubble Bass says: “Is THAT how they pronounce it?! Well, excuse me, but I've never really HAD to say that word before!” Larry says: “From the way YOU said it, I can believe it!”

Bubble Bass says: “You can make fun of that all you want when you get back home! Now, will you...KINDLY just help me out?” Larry says: “Gladly!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass groans, and appears to have a coughing fit! Bubble Bass says: “AH!!!! Ptooey! Ptooey! Ptooey! I have NEVER felt such a strange combination of pity, and indigestion! Is THIS what being NICE, feels like for someone who's never actually BEEN nice before?! I REALLY need to get some more practice with that, so that it doesn't FEEL so hard in the future!” (End Confessional) The action shifts back to the beach, where everyone is frantically digging around, searching for their respective treasure chests! Private digs for a bit in the bamboo grove, until he LITTERALLY hits his flippers onto his treasure chest! Private yells: “GUYS! I FOUND it!” And the rest of his team, who chose to go swimming and running, finally catch up to him! Danny says: “You actually found it?! That's great!” Than Danny suddenly jerks, and SUDDENLY channels Bette Davis! Danny, imitating Bette says: “It's absolutely FABULOUS! I always KNEW you'd find that treasure chest first, REALLY I did!” Than Danny jerks back to normal! Private looks at him weirdly, and Private asks: “Seriously, what's up with that?!” And Danny looks nervously! (Confessional) Danny says: “Look; I'm obviously not going to LAST long on this team if I keep this thing to myself! I'm going to have to tell SOMEBODY sooner or later!” (End Confessional) Danny says: “Look, I'll explain it to you later once we're alone! But not now! There's other team-members present!”

And Danny points to Jenny Wakeman, Kowalski, Rico, Theodore, and Po, whose SHORTS are missing! Jenny asks: “Po?! What happened to your shorts?!” Po says: “They got burned off by those stupid Super sharks I had to fight! It's HARD to dodge a bunch of heat-seeking missiles and freaking LASER beams in the water!” Jenny asks: “What?!” Kowalski says: “It's a long story! We'll explain later!” Private says: “Guys! We have a problem!” Jenny asks: “What's that?!” Private says: “This chest is TOO heavy for me to move!” Jenny says: “Let me use my X-ray vision!” And Jenny's eyes turn green, and she scans it! Jenny says: “The problem is, the chest is made out of solid gold!” Theodore asks: “But, why?!” Jenny says: “Does it matter? We have to figure out a way to move it SOMEHOW!” Kowalski says: “Just feed it to Rico! His stomach can handle anything!” Po asks: “How would THAT help us?!” Kowalski says: “He can regurgitate it later! Trust me! He does this kind of stuff all the time!” Rico nods his head, and says: “Bleh!” Theodore sighs, and says: “All right! You better be RIGHT about this!” (Confessional) Theodore says: “If Rico's stomach actually CAN handle that heavy chest, I will be TRULY impressed!” / Kowalski says: “Rico's stomach is practically bottomless, and practically indestructible! How is he able to do it? Even MY scientific methods haven't come up with a definitive answer yet! But as long as he can do it, that's all that matters to me!” / Po says: “It's a good thing that I'm no longer as self-conscious about the way I look as I used to be! Of course, you should see how the SHARKS look! They REALLY took a beating from me and Johnny!” (End Confessional) Private, Danny, Theodore, Jenny, and Kowalski all get behind the treasure chest, and they ALL shove it into Rico's mouth until it lands with a THUD into Rico's stomach! Theodore says: “Okay, this is OFFICIALLY the weirdest thing I have ever done in my life!” Kowalski says: “If you stick around with us LONG enough, I PROMISE you'll do and see weirder!” Po picks up Rico with some GREAT effort, and Po says: “I'll carry him! I'm the only one strong enough to do so!”

Jenny says: “All right! Now let's get back to the campsite! Let's go, go, go, go, GO!!!!” And they all run off in a hurry, except for Theodore, who REALLY struggles! Theodore says: “Slow DOWN a bit! I can't RUN that fast!” Tigress groans, and she says: “This is TAKING too long! We should have found our chest FIFTEEN minutes ago!” Fee sarcastically says: “Well, EXCUSE me for not being as super, supremely competent as her 'HIGHNESS' demands!” Tigress asks: “Is that supposed to be a DIG at me?! Because I'm telling you right now, I DON'T appreciate contestants who make DIGS at me!” Fee says: “I'm just telling it like it is! No need to take your anger out on me! Why don't you take it out on Bessie?! All she has ever done since she's gotten here is TALK, and she's been absolutely NO help whatsoever in this entire endeavor!” Tigress says: “Well, what about Brittany? All she's done is show off and flaunt her celebrity status! And I'm PRETTY sure she SUCKS at everything!” Katarra closes her eyes, and says: “We can keep Brittany for now, but we might not GET another chance to LOSE the dead weight also known as BESSIE! We might not get another shot to DO so!” Tigress says: “I'm all for that, ESPECIALLY if Bubble Bass AND Johnny ever GET here!” Bubble Bass, Johnny, and LARRY all emerge from the lake, and Bubble Bass pants, and says: “Here I am! I got your STUPID chest for you! I hope you APPRECIATE it, since it WEIGHS like 800 POUNDS for us to CARRY!” Tigress looks at Johnny and Larry, and notices that THEY are naked! Tigress asks: “What happened to your clothes?!” Larry says: “Neptune's Moon.” Johnny says: “They got burned off by the super sharks with heat-seeking missiles and laser beams!” Tigress says: “Well, it's about time you FOUND the treasure chest, the other team is already ahead of us!” Bubble Bass says: “Well, we need to decide what we're going to do if we LOSE! Have you thought about MY idea yet?!” Tigress says: “Fee is all for it! And if you can get Johnny to agree with us, than we're all golden!” Brittany finally arrives, and finishes showing off for the entourage and she says: “Sorry I'm late! I just had to finish giving off a few PUBLICITY photos for my ADORING public! They can't get enough of me!”

Tigress says: “Well YOU should consider yourself lucky, that we're willing to keep YOU on, because there's someone else around here, who needs to be taken care of first!” Bessie asks: “Are you talking about Katarra?! Because she creeps me out!” Johnny says: “It's not just you. She has that effect on everybody!” Katarra says: “I'm floating RIGHT HERE!!!! I can HEAR every single WORD that you are SAYING!” Johnny says: “Than I don't have to repeat myself!” Tigress says: “Give me that chest! You are ALL making this more DIFFICULT than it needs to be!” And Larry and Bubble Bass HAND the treasure chest to Tigress, and she's able to HOLD it like it was NOTHING!!!! Bubble Bass says: “WOAH!!!! I'm glad you're on OUR side!” Tigress says: “For now! Just remember to WATCH yourself if you manage to last until the team merge! Because after that; no promises!” Bubble Bass says: “Understood!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “No doubt about it! It's better that I try to make an alliance as soon as I can, instead of trying to make it on my own. I just hope that Tigress and Johnny are all for it.” / Fee says: “Tigress needs to get a check-up from the neck up, and take a SERIOUS CHILL Pill!” / Katarra says: “A fool who talks and says EVERYTHING, but does NOTHING, is of no more use than someone who is UNABLE to do anything!” / Brittany says: “I'm...sensing some hostility from Tigress! This whole competition thing is going to be a LOT harder than it looks! It looks like I might have to step it up a bit! I don't want to be the next one voted off AFTER Bessie!” (End Confessional) Tigress says: “All right, I've got the treasure chest! Let's get GOING, guys and girls!” Larry says: “Well, it looks like you've got everything handled here! I'm going to go and buy everyone in Bikini Bottom some new clothes!” Bubble Bass says: “Okay, YOU go do that! Just don't tell Spongebob and Patrick that I helped you! I've got a reputation to maintain!” Larry says: “No promises!” And Larry disappears back in the water!” Tigress says: “We'll run back, it's faster!” Brittany says: “Let's hope so, for YOUR sake!” Tigress says: “You're in no position to talk, you know! If you had BEEN here to help, we might have gotten this done so much sooner!”

(Confessional) Brittany says: “It's official! Tigress OFFICIALLY hates me!” / Tigress says: “It's not so much that I HATE Brittany, I just have zero tolerance for incompetence, and just generally sucking at being anything other than being famous! And for what?! Selling a FEW million records?! Newsflash, Brittany; I'm famous, to! And unlike you, I actually had to EARN my fame the HARD way; by fighting evil!” (End Confessional) The teams race back towards camp, and Private says: “Look, there's the finish line!” Jenny looks back, and she says: “And there's Tigress coming up fast!” Po says: “We'll never cross before she crosses!” Kowalski says: “Quickly! Throw Rico across the finish line!” Po grunts, and he THROWS Rico forward as fast and as far as he can! Tigress, in slow-motion says: “NO!!!!!!!!!!” And Rico lands at the feat of Sniz and Fondue, and COUGHS up the Treasure Chest! Sniz says: “And it's OVER! It's all over! The Power Pandas WIN the FIRST challenge!” Tigress groans, and in regular motion, yells: “We LOST!!!! I can't believe WE LOST!!!!” And Tigress begins to have a coughing fit, and Bubble Bass asks: “Are you coming down with something?!” Tigress yells: “I can't STAND LOSING!!!!” Katarra says: “And that's putting it MILDLY!!!!” Sniz says: “General Barracuda, open up the treasure chest!” General Barracuda raises his right fist AND punches the lock right off of the chest, revealing a golden key! Sniz says: “Power Pandas, here is your key to get into the hotel, and have free run of the buffet, and all of the hotel amenities, until the beginning of the next challenge, as our free bonus to you!”

Private says: “Yahoo! We DID it!” Po smiles, and he says: “We ALL did it, working together!” Sniz says: “Killer Prawns, what can I say? It sucks to be YOU guys right now! You can unpack and pick out the cabin of your choice, and take this time to decide who you will be voting off, in the first Elimination Ceremony, of this brand new season!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “If this had been a straight up race between Po and just me, there's no WAY Po would have won first!” / Po says: “It's a good thing I have a whole team to back me up! Tigress is one TOUGH opponent to beat on my own!” (End Confessional)

Private and Danny are standing outside the hotel, and Private looks really surprised! Private says: “REALLY?! You're serious?!” Danny says: “It's true! My ability to 'Go Ghost', is malfunctioning, and now I'm channeling the spirits of Dead Celebrities! You've already seen at least a couple of them! But I don't want anyone else to know about this, they'd just freak out and jump to the wrong conclusion! Look, can you keep this a secret between us?” Private thinks about it, and he says: “I know! We can play it off, like you're just 'Acting!' Just tell everyone that you're thinking of becoming an actor once this season is over, and no one will think twice about your celebrity impressions!” Danny asks: “Isn't that LYING?!” Private says: “It won't be, if you actually DECIDE to enroll INTO some acting courses when you get back home!” Danny thinks about it, and he says: “Well, you got me there! All right! I'm game!” Private says: “Good! I'll help you sell your acting abilities, and we'll be able to keep this thing under wraps until this season is over!” Danny says: “Cool! In the meantime, we'll see if we can't DO something about your FAKE British accent!” And Private looks absolutely SHOCKED! (Confessional) Private asks: “Why does EVERYBODY always think that I have a FAKE British accent?! Why would I FAKE a British accent?! I just don't understand it!” / Katarra says: “I just want to state, for the record, that I read Private's aura! His British accent is TOTALLY authentic! There's no WAY you can fake THAT!” (End Confessional)

It is now night time, and the Killer Prawns are now sitting around the campfire! Sniz says: “Welcome contestants, to the first Elimination Ceremony of this new season! Killer Prawns, what can I say? Today was not a stellar day for many of you. Brittany Miller, it seems like you were too concerned with showing off to the media paparazzi following you around all day, instead of helping out in the challenge. Bessie, you spent WAY too much time talking, and not enough time helping! Bubble Bass, you had a REAL difficulty in learning how to give and accept help earlier, which really could have helped your team out sooner! And Tigress? You tried to do EVERYTHING yourself! Not the best move, for a self-proclaimed winner!” Tigress says: “So I made one mistake this season, so sue me!” Bubble Bass groans, and he says: “And I'm...Sor...ree, about my behavior! I'll work on it and be better about it in the future!” Sniz says: “You have all cast your votes! As usual, the contestants who are safe, will all get normal marshmallows! But this season, the LOSER, will get the DREADED Anti-Fairy, Anti-Magic Marshmallow!” And General Barracuda appears in a haz-mat suit, and holds a purple, GLOWING marshmallow, with a pair of metal tongs!

Brittany asks: “Well, what happens if you touch an Anti-Fairy, Anti-Magic Marshmallow?!” Sniz says: “That's just it! The effects are ALWAYS random, so there's no telling WHAT might happen! Maybe something good, but PROBABLY something bad! I guess you might never know, because I'm going to bet that MOST of you aren't going to take the CHANCE of having something BAD happen to you! Anyways, it's time to reveal who will get to stay, and who will have to leave!” Bessie Higgenbottom says: “You know; my family is descended from a LONG line of marshmallow makers! We're famous for making the marshmallows called--.” And everyone else simultaneously says: “Shut UP, Bessie Higgenbottom!” Sniz says: “Thank you! Tigress, you're safe! Johnny, you're also safe! Katarra! Fee! Bubble Bass!” And Brittany and Bessie both look at each other nervously, realizing there's only ONE safe marshmallow left! Sniz says: “Contestants, this is the FINAL safe marshmallow of the evening! And the final, safe marshmallow goes to...THANKFULLY, Brittany Miller!” Brittany says: “YES!!!!” Bessie says: “WHAT?!!!” And General Barracuda THROWS the purple, Anti-Magic marshmallow at Bessie, and before she can even REACT, it LANDS in her hands, and the Anti-Magic causes her to INSTANTLY lose all her HEAD hair in an instant PUFF! Sniz says: “OOPS!!!! Guess it was something BAD, tonight!” Bessie says: “Oh, and I thought I was doing so well! I was just trying to impress you!” Tigress says: “Next time, do that with your ACTIONS, instead of your words, Miss Amy Poehler!!!!” Bessie asks: “Why does everyone always think that I SOUND like her?! I've never even MET her!”

Sniz says: “Bessie! To the Giant Slingshot of Shame!” And General Barracuda puts a safety helmet, and some safety gear on Bessie! Bessie gets strapped into the Slingshot, and says: “Wow! This is really fascinating! You know, the ORIGINAL slingshot was actually first invented, by my great-great--!” (KOING!!!!) And Bessie is hurled forwards and screams: “GREAT!!!!” Sniz says: “And with that, the Motormouth Bessie Higgenbottom is FINALLY out of the competition! Who will be the next to lose?! Which team will win the next challenge?! And how long will Johnny Krill CONTINUE to be naked?!” Johnny says: “I've got three other pairs of clothes in my suitcase, all right! Don't get your hair in a knot!” Sniz rolls his eyes, and he says: “All of these questions, and some others, may be answered, on the next episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! George Lucas, eat your heart out!” /

Episode Notes: Contestants remaining: Brittany Miller (Killer Prawn); Bubble Bass (Killer Prawn); Danny Fenton (Power Panda); Fee (Killer Prawn); Jenny Wakeman (Power Panda); Johnny Krill (Killer Prawn); Katarra (Killer Prawn); Kowalski (Power Panda); Po (Power Panda); Private (Power Panda); Rico (Power Panda); Theodore Seville (Power Panda); Tigress (Killer Prawn). / Eliminated: #14, Bessie Higgenbottom (“The Mighty B!”). /

Featured song in this episode, “All Star” by Smash Mouth, as the generic, opening theme song for this season. With Bessie's elimination, all the representatives from “The Mighty B!”; have been eliminated from this season. It is revealed that Danny Fenton's ability to 'Go Ghost', is malfunctioning, and he is now starting to channel dead celebrities, as various parts of his personality. Two of those celebrities are revealed, and they are Rodney Dangerfield, and Bette Davis. Johnny Krill becomes the team leader of the Killer Prawns, and Po becomes the team leader for the Power Pandas. It is revealed that Katarra can cause lightning bolts to randomly drop from the sky at anyone who annoys her, or, whenever she needs a good laugh. Theodore Seville develops an attraction to Brittany Miller in this episode. Blonda becomes a brand new coach for this season, starting with this episode. Cameo appearances from past contestants include Snaptrap, Spongebob, Patrick, and Larry, the latter three having JUST gotten past being under the effects of Neptune's Moon! /

Personal Notes: I think the reason why it was so hard for me to actually START this season, was I was having trouble being inspired, and coming up with something interesting and hazardous enough, to qualify as the first major obstacle, for being created by the Anti-Fairy Anti-Magic. So I actually consulted with Renegade the Unicorn, and he came up with the suggestion of the sharks to me. Originally, he suggested fire-breathing sharks with laser beams. However, it didn't make much sense for me to have the sharks breath fire, because that wouldn't make them really dangerous, since they were constantly surrounded by water, so I decided to equip them with heat-seeking missiles instead as a compromise! Ironically, I was going to DO the first part of this season, as a quick, easy way for me to burn through fourteen episodes of season four; and I think the only reason why it took me as long as it did to write the first episode of this season, was that I care WAY too much about the quality of my own writing, and I REFUSE to settle for something substandard, for my fans. If I notice that something is substandard to MY general sense of taste, than chances are, my fans are going to notice that the general quality of my work is substandard, to THEIR sense of taste as well! That's the major reason why I tried to make the first episode of this season as good as I did! As for eliminating Bessie Higgenbottom first? Personally, as far as I'm concerned; a little bit of Amy Poehler, goes a long, LONG way! And out of all the contestant, I knew the least bit about HER, compared to all the other contestants this season! That's why she got eliminated first! Hopefully, it won't take me so long to write the rest of this season! Enough said, true believers! ;)

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While the Feral Friends tributing was a bit of a distraction to the main challenge, I have to say Bubble Bass is better than some of your past antagonists. :o Also, I doubt I will recognize any of Danny's celebrity personalities! ?

Jenny is closest to character here, but boy did you get a lot of things about Katara wrong! :rolleyes: The only thing she is able to bend is water. Avatar Korra can airbend, but lightning bending is a new one entirely ?

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3 hours ago, Hayden said:

While the Feral Friends tributing was a bit of a distraction to the main challenge, I have to say Bubble Bass is better than some of your past antagonists. :o Also, I doubt I will recognize any of Danny's celebrity personalities! ?

Jenny is closest to character here, but boy did you get a lot of things about Katara wrong! :rolleyes: The only thing she is able to bend is water. Avatar Korra can airbend, but lightning bending is a new one entirely ?

I'm having this series happen AFTER "Avatar: the Last Airbender" has ended. Therefore, Katarra has learned some new abilities that she never had in the show proper. Also, as far as any character discrepancies though, I'm filtering the characters through what I would like to call "Alternate Character Interpretation". And Bubble Bass isn't as clear-cut an antagonist as some of my past antagonists were. He's conflicted, but it's not so much that he's actively evil, he's just never really been good before. I hope that explains some of my choices for this season so far.

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34 minutes ago, 4EverGreen said:

I'm having this series happen AFTER "Avatar: the Last Airbender" has ended. Therefore, Katarra has learned some new abilities that she never had in the show proper. Also, as far as any character discrepancies though, I'm filtering the characters through what I would like to call "Alternate Character Interpretation". And Bubble Bass isn't as clear-cut an antagonist as some of my past antagonists were. He's conflicted, but it's not so much that he's actively evil, he's just never really been good before. I hope that explains some of my choices for this season so far.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katara_(Avatar:_The_Last_Airbender) I hope this reading will help your understanding of both her name/only capable abilities she can learn because genetics

But for the rest, I can see the Revenge of the Island archetypes that have been filtered in and I know that's your common style choice so I won't press there

Staci: Bessie Higgenbottom

Dakota: Brittany Miller

B: Rico

Dawn: Katara

Sam: Theodore

Brick: Po

Anne Maria: Fee

Mike: Danny Fenton

Jo: Tigress

Scott: Bubble Bass

Zoey: Jenny

Lightning: Johnny Krill

Cameron: Either Private or Kowalski

 

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Actually, I made B, be a de-composite character in my version. You see, Rico is the quiet aspect of B, while Kowalski is the intelligent genius aspect of B. As far as Katarra goes, look at this description which I have quoted DIRECTLY from your source! / "...creating opportunities where none exist; this "flow of energy" allows their defensive maneuvers to translate into focus on control and counter-offenses, turning their opponents' momentum against them. Despite these advantages, Waterbending is almost entirely dependent on inertia; it is essential for practitioners to not be rigid, but to be fluid and able to adapt to any situation." / By that definition, Katarra COULD, conceivably learn how to summon lightning and float; and there was nothing IN that description, to inherently state that she COULDN'T! Besides, you know how water is mostly made out of Hydrogen, and Hydrogen is the most abundant gas on Earth? It's entirely feasible that she's manipulating the Hydrogen molecules in the air, to keep herself afloat! Anyways, I'm just trying to make this season be as entertaining as it can possibly be! :D Enough said! ;)

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Writing the next episode of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back" has proven to be a bit harder than I thought it would be, mostly because I'm trying to write a whole NEW episode mostly from scratch! However, I do have the first part of it ready, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it! /

Sniz is standing on the Dock of Shame, and he says: “Last time on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back”; fourteen contestants arrived on our island, to duke it out against each other in various challenges, all for the chance of winning a $1.4 million grand prize. In their first challenge, they had to race to the other side of the island, locate a treasure chest for their team, and bring their chest back first, in order to win immunity for their team. Some chose running, others chose swimming. Bubble Bass found out the hard way, that good guys don't always do good things just because they ARE the good guys; sometimes, they need a little coaxing first! Brittany also found out, that Tigress doesn't tolerate ANYBODY who tries to just coast by on their fame alone, Private found out about Danny Fenton's UNUSUAL situation, Johnny Krill found out how HARD it was to get respect as a team leader, and EVERYONE found out about Bessie Higgenbottom's non-stop talking! I'll tell you one thing, Bessie DEFINITELY gave us the DEFINITIVE definition to what it means to be a motor-mouth! In the end, the Killer Prawns lost the challenge, and it was to practically nobody's surprise, that Bessie Higgenbottom, got the unceremonious first boot off this season! There are thirteen contestants left, and while it is still very much anyone's game, lines are already starting to be drawn, on who is useful, and who is not! Who will find themselves on the chopping block next? And what kind of a challenge will be featured today? Those questions, and more, will start being answered on a brand new Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Lights, camera, ACTION!!!!”

/ Instead of the normal theme song open, a bunch of old-fashioned cameras are heard clicking, as all the female contestants, do various PG-rated antics, and some of them even including some of the male contestants in their antics, all to the tune of popular Duran Duran hit song! / Simon Le Bon sings: “See them walking hand in hand across the bridge at midnight! Heads turning as the lights flashing out are so bright. And walk right out to the four line track, there's a camera rolling on her back; on her back! And I sense a rhythm humming in a frenzy all the way down her spine! Girls on film! Girls on film. Girls on film! Girls on film. Lipstick cherry all over the lens as she's falling. And miles of sharp blue water coming in where she lies. The diving man's coming up for air cause the crowd all love pulling dolly by the hair. By the hair. And she wonders how she ever got here, as she goes under again. Girls on film! Two minutes later, girls on film! Girls on film! Got your picture! Girls on film! (Instrumental solo) Wider, baby, smile, and you've just made a million. Fuses pumping live heat, twisting out on a wire. Take one last glimpse into the night, I'm touching close, I'm holding bright. Holding tight! Give me shudders in a whisper, take me up 'til I'm shooting a star! Girls on film! She's more than a lady, girls on film! Girls on film! Two minutes later, girls on film! Girls on film! See you together, girls on film! Girls on film! See you later, girls on film!” / And the epic song ends! / “Girls (and Boys) On Film!” /

It is early in the morning, so early, that while signs of daylight are visible, the sun hasn't appeared over the horizon yet. Bubble Bass is in his cabin room, counting the amount of blue jewels that he received on his diving expedition the other day! Bubble Bass says: “Well, that finishes my count on how many blue jewels I have left remaining, after having to give 20% of them AWAY to Larry! Still, if my calculations are correct, which they usually are, I would estimate that these jewels are worth about $24 million altogether! Of course, there's no WAY that Sniz and Fondue are just going to let me LEAVE this game show without actually trying to play it, not after having so many contestants quit during the PAST season! They're going to expect me to actually PLAY in these challenges! So, in order to survive for as long as I can, I will need to ensure that Johnny Krill will help me out in the more physical parts of these challenges, while I handle any potential intellectual challenges that might come our way! Of course, I'll need at least one other vote to ensure our collective safety for the foreseeable future. Obviously the best contestant I'd want to have on my side is Tigress! But there's no WAY she'd side with me, given the way she chewed out Brittany the other day!” Bubble Bass looks at his jewels, and he says: “Perhaps these jewels can be my insurance policy!”

(Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Although meeting with Larry the other day WAS a bit of an irritation in MY books, he DID provide me some helpful information, into understanding just how some contestants, aren't just good guys, they can be morally ambiguous as well. I call it a, 'Grey and Gray Morality', or maybe a 'White and Gray Morality', it's one or the other. In any case, Larry wouldn't help me until I gave up some of my jewels. If my guess on Tigress is correct, she's going to want to walk away with something valuable for all the troubles she is inevitably going to face this season! If I offer her a percentage of my jewels, she might find it well worth her time to help be the deciding vote, in any future elimination ceremonies we might come across! Not to mention, she's pretty unstoppable when it comes to challenges! Of course, that fierce attitude is BOUND to become detrimental to my plans EVENTUALLY, but I'll cross THAT bridge once I come to it! However, I see no reason as to why I should kick the dog, or tiger, as the case may be. In the first point, it would serve me no good, as having Tigress angry at me, whether or NOT she's eliminated at any point this season, would do me FAR more harm than good! There's no way I'm RISKING doing something that would be detrimental to my own health! Second, and more importantly, it would be far better for me, to keep Tigress on my GOOD side! And as long as I keep my promise, and give her a fair share of the jewels that I found, I think she will be more than willing to play ball with me, whatever THAT means!” (End Confessional) Bubble Bass hears a knocking on the door, and he answers it, and General Barracuda is there! Bubble Bass says: “Oh, it's you! What do you want?”

General Barracuda says: “I want my lost tooth! Where, is my lost tooth?!” Bubble Bass says: “I honestly don't KNOW where your lost tooth is! Can't you grow another one?” General Barracuda says: “I, am like, WELL over 47 years old! And I can't wait for like, 30 years to grow a tooth of wisdom! And there's no WAY that I trust the Anti-Fairies with THEIR magic! So that's why I'm looking for my lost tooth! And YOU'RE going to HELP me find it!” Bubble Bass says: “Look, I don't know WHAT your problem is, but even if I WANTED to help you, I am under NO contractual obligation to do so! Unlike MOST of the contestants who enter here, I have READ the fine print of the contract that I had to sign, and NOWHERE in that entire contract, did it state that I have to help you find ANYTHING that YOU happen to lose at ANY time during this entire season, whether YOU say I need to do it or not!” General Barracuda shouts: “BLONDA!!!!” Blonda warps into the room in a purple robe with a cucumber facial mask over her eyes and face, and she says: “This BETTER be important, I was in the middle of my WEEKLY exfoliation!”

General Barracuda asks: “Is what Bubble Bass said TRUE?! Is there really NO contractual way I can FORCE him to help me search for my lost tooth?!” Blonda smugly chuckles, and she says: “Hate to break it to you, but, Bubble Bass is in the right, for once! You have NO contractual OR legal power over him, to help him search for anything of yours that he doesn't WANT to! And he can legally SUE you if you try to FORCE him!” General Barracuda says: “CURSE LEGAL technicalities! You win THIS round, Bubble Bass!” And General Barracuda SLAMS the door angrily! Bubble Bass asks: “Why does General Barracuda hate me?” Blonda shrugs, and she says: “Eh, he kind of hates EVERYBODY! It's like, his thing! Speaking of a THING, aren't you going to RAVISH this lovely beauty right in your room?” Bubble Bass says: “I'm sorry, you're confusing me with somebody who DOESN'T have any standards! You know, like Snaptrap!” Blonda gets indignant, huffs, and she says: “Oh, so you're going to be like THAT, are you?! Well, just for that, I WILL inform you that you ARE under contractual obligation to take a shower with the REST of the guys, and you would be STUPID to refuse to do such a thing!” Bubble Bass is taken aback, and he asks: “Are you SERIOUS?!!! There is no WAY that statement can LEGALLY stand in court, or actually be ENFORCED! I thought that was more of a suggested guideline than anything else!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “At first, I thought there was no WAY I could take a public shower with some other guys, but then Blonda and her team of producers LEGALLY FORCED me to do it!” /

Blonda says: “The indignity of that guy! And to think, I was once Miss Fairy Queen of 1985! Oh, how the mighty have fallen!” (End Confessional) In the public showers, Bubble Bass is standing in the open stall, wearing NOTHING but his glasses, and he's shivering, anticipating the inevitable coldness of the camp showers! Bubble Bass sighs, and he says: “This is GOING to suck!” He turns on the water, but weirdly enough, it's NOT cold at all, it feels nicely warm, but not so hot that it feels scalding. Bubble Bass says: “Wow! Do all camps have showers like this? Why wasn't I informed about this?” Johnny Krill inexplicably comes in, and he says: “Probably because you never ASKED about it!” Bubble Bass quickly hides behind the other side of the shower stand, and he asks: “Johnny Krill, what are YOU doing here?!” Johnny Krill says: “It's a public shower, what do you expect? Guys are free to come and go through here as they please!” Bubble Bass asks: “Can you at LEAST wait until LATER to take a shower?! This is already NOT dignifying for me as it is already!” Johnny Krill says: “Come on! You don't have to hide like that! Unlike SOME guys, I don't judge others based on their outer appearance! And for what it's worth, I don't think you're actually bad looking, all things considered.” Bubble Bass comes out of hiding and he asks: “Really?! I'm NOT?! Boy, if that's true, than I've CERTAINLY been going to the wrong Internet web sites! Can I at least ask WHY we are being subjected to this?!” Johnny Krill says: “I actually asked Fondue about that myself! He says they have no way of knowing how long some of us guys might last, so they're going to get their money shots NOW, while they still can!” Bubble Bass asks: “What kind of MONEY shots could anyone expect to get of ME?!”

Johnny Krill says: “You'd be surprised! For instance, you'd never figure Patrick as being the type of guy who would get a girl, and yet, he got one!” Bubble Bass says: “I'm surprised that you actually have a point!” Johnny Krill says: “You can't judge a book by it's cover, can you?” Bubble Bass says: “No, I guess you can't.” Johnny Krill says: “There's a lot more to ME than just being an extreme athlete! I KNOW stuff, but just because I do, doesn't mean that I have to let General Barracuda know. If I keep his standards of me LOW, I can get away with MORE around him!” Bubble Bass genuinely says: “WOW! You're smarter than you look!” Johnny Krill says: “I have to be! Also, I don't think you need to feel like you're being degraded here. I mean, it's not every DAY you get an opportunity like this!” Bubble Bass says: “And WHO would be interested BESIDES anyone who actually WRITES the stupid contractual rules for this STUPID show?!” Johnny Krill says: “You'd be surprised! There genuinely ARE some women out there who have a fondness for those on the more...chubby side, so to speak!”

Bubble Bass asks: “There are?” Johnny Krill says: “Why else would so many people identify with someone like Heffer Wolfe? Although, if it means anything to you, I personally think, that there's more to you than just fat.” Bubble Bass says: “And I find it kind of sad to admit that's actually one of the nicest things anybody has ever said to me. You know, at first, I wasn't entirely sure if a platonic partnership between the two of us could work out. Now; I'm pretty sure that it can.” Johnny Krill asks: “Just to clarify things, what exactly IS a platonic partnership?” Bubble Bass says: “Picture this; you vote the way that I do in elimination ceremonies, you handle the physical aspect of challenges, while I help you out with any potential mental challenges! Of course, I wouldn't expect you to do this for free! That's why I collected some valuable jewels! You could get a good portion of them, worth some decent money! You could stand to make $2.4 million from 10% of my jewels alone!” Johnny Krill says: “That DOES sound impressive! I'll take it!” Bubble Bass says: “And I'm good for my word! No fingers crossed, obviously, because I have FINS, but even if I DID have fingers I wouldn't cross them! I'm trying to play an honest game this season; so if we can be as honest as we can with each other, I think things will proceed rather smoothly.” Johnny Krill says: “I think so, as well. But, aren't we going to need at least another vote as an insurance policy?” Bubble Bass says: “I've already thought of that. It won't be easy, but we've got to convince Tigress to play ball with us!”

Johnny Krill asks: “Uh, you're talking about a PURELY metaphorical ball, right?” Bubble Bass says: “You catch on fast, buddy! But since Tigress obviously likes to win, AND likes her safety, a LOT, I think convincing her to be on our side shouldn't be THAT difficult!” Johnny Krill says: “You know, it's honestly WEIRD how you can sometimes have your best ideas when you're in the shower!” Bubble Bass thinks about it, and he says: “Hmmm, maybe THAT'S the real reason Fondue and the others wanted to do this!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Personally, I could have lived WITHOUT that whole ordeal! But on the bright side, at least I actually accomplished something useful. I've got Johnny Krill on my side! That's the EASY part! Getting Tigress on our side will be no easy task. But then again, there aren't that many good things in life that ARE easy!” / Johnny Krill says: “You know, now that I THINK about it, I think Bubble Bass has nice...FINS!!!!” (DOING!!!!) (End Confessional) In the hotel, Private and Danny are talking to each other. Private asks: “So, just to make sure I have it clear, whenever you experience certain emotions, spirits of famous celebrities come to possess your body?!” Danny says: “That's about the way it has been working! Whenever something comes up that feels tiring or exhausting to me, that's when Rodney Dangerfield takes over! And whenever I get really happy and excited about something, that's when Bette Davis takes over! And sometimes, whenever somebody takes off my shirt and comes on romantically to me, that's when I become a young Marlon Brando!” Private says: “Weird, but good to know! By knowing that, it will certainly be easier to come up with plausible acting projects that you could be interested in going for! By the way, do you think Jenny Wakeman would be a good partner for us in the long term?”

Danny asks: “You mean, like an alliance? Well, Jenny IS a nice enough girl robot and everything, but, I don't think anything romantic can happen between us! I'd like for us to just be good friends. Besides, I already HAVE a girlfriend back home at Caspar, and I don't think she would appreciate me hanging out with other girls romantically!” Private says: “Well, you can do what you like! Personally, I'm going to be working on getting an alliance with Po and Jenny going, in addition to my penguin partner's, Rico and Kowalski! The three of us made a deal that we would support each other for as long as possible, no matter what!” Danny nervously says: “That's...good to know!” (Confessional)

Danny jerks into being Rodney Dangerfield, and he says: “Well, this is a fine pickle! Private already HAS two solid votes he can rely on, and if he gets Po and Jenny, it will be a five way block! That would leave both Theodore and myself in the minority! And the Power Panda's won't be able to win every challenge! I could be sunk before I even get started!” Danny jerks into being Bette Davis, and he says: “Of course, even if Private DOES get a voting block, that doesn't mean it will be completely solid! After all, if a WEAK link in the block should emerge, we might be able to convince the rest of the block to TURN on the weak link, and be able to survive until the team merge!” Danny takes his shirt off, and channels a young Marlon Brando, and Danny says: “Then, I'll show all those bums that I'm a true contender, and not a bum, like THEY are!” / Private says: “Some contestants don't know good opportunities when they are presented to them. Others, do. I consider myself a contestant who always looks out for the BEST, possible opportunities for me to take, and I always take them whenever possible! See how that works?! Plus, with my cute looks and charming personality, it would be pretty HARD for anyone to say no to THIS adorable little face! You might even say I'm the penguin version of Paul McCartney!” (End Confessional) Suddenly, over the loudspeakers, a LOUD, instrumental version of the “Raiders of the Lost Ark” theme begins playing. Tigress hears it in her cabin room, and she says: “If I had to guess, I would suppose that would HAVE to be the signal, for every contestant to get themselves mentally prepared for another challenge! Although, I should consider myself grateful for the signal, and the fact that I'm smart enough to recognize it when I hear it! Usually, you have to pay EXTRA to get THAT!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “It's OBVIOUS that I'm the FULL package; beauty, brains, brawn, and skills, all in ONE body!”

(End Confessional) All the contestants rush out to the flagpole area, where they meet Sniz, Fondue, General Barracuda, and Blonda, who's oddly enough wearing an old-fashioned director's outfit and a director's beret. Sniz says: “Good response time, contestants! It's nice to have a prompt response time, especially considering what the challenge is going to be today! Does anybody HAVE any idea, WHAT the challenge is going to be today?!” Bubble Bass rhetorically asks: “Finding new ways to humiliate and degrade our self-esteem in ways we never before imagined possible?!” Fondue says: “If that's YOUR definition of being DEGRADED, I'd hate to see what your definition of being ASHAMED would look like!” Sniz says: “And in response to your OBVIOUSLY rhetorical question, Bubble Bass; while that IS an interesting concept we haven't considered before, the answer is no! Our challenge today, is that we're taking a page from the days of our Total Cartoon Action days! We're going back to making a MOVIE! It's SHOW time, everyone!” Brittany excitedly says: “SHOW time?! Finally, I'll HAVE a chance to show EVERYONE just how enormously GIFTED I am, in terms of my talent! You will be AMAZED that someone as stunning as ME actually EXISTS in this world!” Fee says: “Well, I will say that you are enormously SOMETHING, but you wouldn't like what it is that I WANT to call you!” Brittany gets incensed, and she says: “Oh, REALLY?! And just what IS it, that you want to call me?!” Fee says: “Well, the term I'm looking for, I can't say, because Harvey Beaks would NEVER forgive me, plus I don't think standards would let me, not even on a PG-rated show!” Tigress says: “You've definitely got GUTS, kid! I'll give you THAT much!”

Katarra says: “Not to mention a lot of issues about being separated from her parents for about eight years of her life. It's taken her a lot of effort, and a lot of patience, for her to cope raising herself and her brother Foo for the past eight years. Now that her parents are back in her life, she wants to win something nice for her family so that they can all enjoy the good life!” Fee asks: “Now who asked YOU to eavesdrop?! My feelings are PRIVATE!!!! You want to read something, why don't you read War and Peace, and come BACK to me in eight years?!” Katarra says: “Shows how much YOU still have to learn. I can READ 100 pages an hour, AND memorize everything I read!” Fee sarcastically says: “Woo, woo, woo. Extra woo, woo, woo. Can we get ON with the show already?!” Blonda sincerely says: “Thank you, Fee! Sniz, just HOW shall I be directing the contestants today?!” Sniz says: “Actually, we already HAVE a director AND a cinematographer scheduled for today! Contestants, please welcome our special guests for today, former contestants, Lil and Stimpy!”

And Lil and Stimpy arrive, dressed up in their Hollywood best! And they're being followed by Squidward! Bubble Bass asks: “Squidward, what are YOU doing here?!” Squidward says: “Well, if you MUST know, I have decided to spread my creative tentacles, so to speak, and I have gotten an internship with Lil and Stimpy's new motion picture company!” Po asks: “Wait! Lil and Stimpy made their OWN motion picture company?!” Lil answers: “Yes!” Stimpy says: “We both got tired of having to commute all the way from St. George, Utah, to Hollywood, California. Not to mention, all the time being spent away from Ren. So, using the vast amounts of money that we have earned, we started our own motion picture company! In fact, we already have two productions on the way. TV movies starring Rocko, AND Invader Zim!” Theodore asks: “Um, are those productions called Static Cling and Enter the Florpus by any chance?” Stimpy says: “Yes, why do you ask?” Theodore chuckles nervously, and he says: “No reason!” (Confessional) Theodore says: “No WONDER those TV movies have been delayed for so long! Lil's unpredictable mood swings must make it VERY difficult to secure, and keep a FIRM release date!” / Lil says: “When it comes to perfection, a perfect movie means EVERYTHING to me! If you're NOT going to make the BEST movie that you can POSSIBLY make, than why are you EVEN making one?!”/ Stimpy says: “You would not BELIEVE how many director's who I have had walk out on me, all just because they can't take it when Lil Deville goes into one of her little jokes!” (End Confessional)

Blonda sputters, and she says: “B-b-b-b-but I thought you were going to make ME be the director for this special challenge! I have the outfit, the credentials, and EVERYTHING!” Fondue says: “Blonda, you were NEVER our top pick! You were just the EMERGENCY person, in case we couldn't secure Stimpy and Lil to do this guest spot!” Sniz says: “Besides, you've got the most important job of them ALL in this episode!” Blonda excitedly asks: “I do?!” Sniz says: “You certainly do! You get to be the CASTING director!” Blonda dreamily says: “My dream come true! FINALLY! A chance to be on the OTHER side of the casting couch! I'll DO IT!!!!” (Confessional) Blonda says: “During my life, I have had NUMEROUS call-backs and failures to get acting jobs that I wanted, more than I would care to admit! But, I have never before actually gotten to BE the one who GAVE talented actors and actresses their lucky break for the BIG time! This is my chance to be passionate about something in a way, that I haven't felt for a LONG time!” / Sniz says: “It may not look like it, but Blonda really DOES have a good eye for picking out talent! Besides, keeping her as the casting director, prevents her from causing any potentially messy scenes! She's kind of a bit of a DRAMA QUEEN, if you know what I mean! But, if I can fulfill a dream of hers, keep her happy, AND get the episode we want ALL at the same time, that is what I like to call a Win-Win-WIN situation; and I certainly do LOVE my Win-Win-WIN situations!” (End Confessional)

Sniz says: “Here's how it will work. First, we must determine that you are physically capable enough of BEING a movie star! To that end, we have devised an obstacle course reminiscent of the one found in the final Double Dare challenges! In order to play in the second part of the challenge, each contestant must be able to complete the obstacle challenge, in 90 seconds or less. Once you have accomplished this task, you must come up with a unique talent, to present to Lil, Stimpy, and Blonda, who will be judging your performances in the talent part of this challenge! Whichever team scores the most points in this challenge, will win immunity, and get the hotel/buffet luxuries. The losing team, needless to say, will face an elimination ceremony. Power Pandas, since you have one extra member, you'll have to sit someone out.” Theodore Seville raises his hand and says: “I'll do it! I just don't feel physically capable enough, and I don't want to humiliate myself due to a lack of talent or self-esteem.” Sniz says: “Very well. Just remember, if YOUR team loses, they could RESENT you for not participating in the challenge, HATE you, and vote you off a result!” Theodore chuckles nervously, and he says: “T-t-t-t-that's, good to know!” (Confessional)

Theodore moans, and he says: “Oh, I should have known that there would be no such thing as an EASY way out of a challenge! If I'm the first one voted off of MY team, Alvin would NEVER let me live it down! Why couldn't have Simon gotten picked instead of me?! At least HE could have used his brain! All I have is a sweet disposition and a charming personality! Why couldn't I have been BORN an athlete, instead of an athletic eater?!” / Sniz says: “An important rule to remember about this competition, is that metaphorically speaking, if you can't take the heat, you should stay out of the kitchen!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “Now, the teams will take turns alternating in this part of the challenge. Brittany, you will go first. Next, Rico will go for his team. Then, it will be followed by Fee, Jenny, Johnny, Danny, Katarra, Kowalski, Tigress, Po, Bubble Bass, and Private! You will need to collect six flags in the first part of the challenge! First, you must run on the hamster wheel, to lower the flag low enough so you can grab it! And YES, Katarra, you HAVE to run, and you CAN'T use your powers to float! Speaking of, just HOW are you able to float, anyways?!” Katarra says: “Well, IF you must know, you all know how I am primarily a Water Bender, correct? Well, it just so happens that water is primarily made out of Hydrogen molecules, and Hydrogen is the most abundant element on Earth, so, I simply bend the Hydrogen molecules in such a way, that they allow me to float constantly in the air!” Jenny says: “Wow! Now that's what I call, Mundane made Awesome!” (Confessional) Katarra moans, and says: “UGH!!!! I just HATE it when people ask me STUPID questions! Can't a GIRL just ENJOY her OWN private life?!” /

Jenny says: “For the record, I think Katarra's abilities are pretty cool, when they're put to good use!” / Sniz says: “Note to self: NEVER ask Katarra HOW she is able to do the things she can do EVER again! You will ALWAYS get a SNOTTY response from her!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “After the hamster wheel, you must dive into, and swim across a swimming pool full of red balls, in order to get the second flag! Next, go through the ear tunnel, and come out the other side to grab the third flag! After that, stomp on the soda gushers, until you make the next flag come down! Next, you must climb up a slope, and walk across a rope tightrope, to get to the fifth flag! Finally, you will slide down the slide, and into a giant ice cream sundae, where you must locate the sixth and final flag! Brittany, start things off!” Brittany smugly says: “Ready to eat your words YET, Tigress?!” Tigress says: “Well, excuse ME, Princess, but PRIDE always goes before the fall!” Brittany says: “Well, all I know is that YOU will GO before ME!” Johnny sarcastically says: “I would LOVE to see that happen! But, seeing as how Tigress IS Tigress, I highly doubt we ever WILL!” Tigress says: “Well, it's nice to know that SOMEBODY around here knows true talent when they see it!” Po asks: “And what am I around here, chopped liver?!” Tigress says: “Of course not! You're just on a different team from me right now! And as such, I can't afford to show you ANY mercy! It's nothing personal, you know!” (Confessional) Brittany defiantly says: “Oh, Tigress is SO going DOWN!!!! Just wait and see!” / Tigress scoffs, and she says: “I'd sooner believe that TAOTIE could do a better job of performing in this challenge than SHE can!” / Johnny says: “WOW!!!! Tigress actually gave me a SINCERE compliment! With one, that's my PERSONAL best! As a team leader, I'm making progress!” / Po says: “I will give Tigress credit for one thing; when it comes to game time, she's always business and always serious about doing her best! I personally admire her for being able to do that! It's one of the MANY things that I love about her!” (End Confessional)

Blonda is back in her coaching outfit. Kowalski asks: “Wait a minute! You HAVE multiple outfits?!” Blonda rhetorically answers: “Doesn't everybody?!” Kowalski says: “I obviously don't, because I'm a penguin!” Blonda smugly chuckles, and she says: “Sucks to be YOU, then!” (Confessional) Kowalski says: “You know, it STINKS that she's not a contestant this season! Otherwise, I'd give her a piece of SOMEBODY else's mind! Mine is too valuable for me to part with!” / Blonda says: “One of the secrets to my success, is that I always make sure to have access to the RIGHT outfit for the RIGHT situation, at ANY given time that I am called to have one!” (End Confessional) Blonda raises a green flag, Brittany Miller gets into a lunge position, and Blonda says: “Get on your mark, get SET!!!!” A horn blares, and Blonda lowers her green flag and says: “GO!!!!” Brittany makes surprisingly good time on the hamster wheel, lowering the flag in only ten seconds, and grabbing it! Fee says: “Wow! She's better than I thought she would be.” Tigress says: “So she's a LITTLE athletic; FINE! That doesn't make her any less of a detriment to us, especially if we lose!”

Fee says: “Wow! You don't give compliments to ANYBODY easily, do you?” Tigress says: “I have found that actions speak louder than words. I always prefer to let my actions, do the talking for me.” Fee says: “I try to do that to; but unlike YOU; at least I HAVE a social life OUTSIDE of martial arts!” Tigress snaps back, and she asks: “What is THAT supposed to mean?!” Fee is taken aback, but she quickly regains her composure, and says: “Temper, TEMPER! I was just telling it like it is, there's no need to take OFFENSE at it!” Squidward says: “Well, you certainly are pretty feisty, and at least you're not freaking ANNOYING like Spongebob is! I have to live next door to him, EVERY day!!!! I have to go to work at the Krusty Krab, WITH Spongebob, EVERY day! And I have to hear that annoying little laugh of his, EVERY day! Being around Spongebob is SO sickening! I HATE working with Spongebob!” Bubble Bass scoffs, and says: “Oh, PLEASE!!!! If Spongebob REALLY annoyed you as much as you CLAIM that he does, you'd simply RESIGN from the Krusty Krab, and move away from Bikini Bottom for GOOD! But there's no WAY you'll do that, because you're just COUNTING the days until Mr. Krabs is lying SICK on his DEATH BED, and he beckons for you and whispers in a soft, creaking, croaking voice, as he confesses to you that Spongebob Squarepants, is FAR too incompetent and stupid to run the Krusty Krab! And that you, the LONG suffering Squidward Tentacles, is the ONLY employee capable of running the Krusty Krab, and you will weep tears of sadness, sorrow, and despair, as it finally DAWNS on you that the HORRIBLE, SWEATY place YOU call the Krusty Krab, is the ONLY place where you will EVER truly know, feel, AND experience LOVE!”

Squidward's eyes open up wide, and in a dissonant calmness, he says: “Excuse me.” And he walks off-screen, goes to the cafeteria, and in a loud voice, cries: “AHHH!!!!!!!!” Bubble Bass suddenly jerks and in futility, covers his mouth, and says: “Dear Neptune! Was I just TALKING out loud, THERE?!!!” Tigress' eyes open up wide, and she says: “WOW!!!! Even I'M not THAT blunt, and I'm ME!” (Confessional) Anti-Cosmo chuckles evilly, and he says: “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! The TRUTH telling spell! You never know WHEN I might decide to hit a contestant with it!” / Bubble Bass moans, and he says: “I can't believe that I just ripped into Squidward like that! And from the way he's crying, I'd say that what I said, must have hit WAY too close to home for him! And the worst part of it is, I honestly didn't even realize I was TALKING until Squidward started crying! Now I actually feel AWFUL, which I never thought I could feel about ANYONE, let ALONE Squidward! I've got to make it UP to him in SOME way, but HOW?!” / Fee says: “I tell it like it is, and while I'd probably be the LAST to know just when and where I've gone too far with somebody, even I know that Bubble Bass telling Squidward off was a bridge too far!” / Tigress' eyes are still open wide, and she says: “Seriously, I honestly never thought I'd live to see the day when somebody could out-blunt me, and from BUBBLE Bass, no less! I've never heard ANYONE be so brutally honest like that! It's actually kind of bold; I like that! I could use that sort of honesty in the way I play my game this season! Just because I'm the strongest, doesn't mean I'm the most well-liked. But if I were to keep Bubble Bass in my back-pocket, he could prove a VALUABLE vote to me in potential elimination ceremonies. Not to mention that he'd be RIDICULOUSLY easy for me to beat in a final two! After all, he's Bubble Bass, and I'm...ME!!!! It's no CONTEST as to who would win THAT final challenge, ME!!!!” (End Confessional)

The buzzer sounds, and everyone turns around, and they realize that Brittany has finished the challenge, with three seconds to spare! Katarra says: “Color me impressed! Seems that Brittany isn't just all flash and pop! There's actually a little bit of substance, there! Let's see if its enough to keep her safe!” Brittany snaps her fingers, and she says: “Top that, Tigress!” Tigress' fur raises on end, much like a cat in anger, and she furiously fumes, and she says: “Oh, you just SO did NOT taunt Tigress!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “Mark my words; if we lose THIS challenge, Brittany is GONE!” / Brittany says: “It feels REALLY nice to be able to show someone up! I KNEW that all those dancing lessons would come in handy for my athletic skills! I'm probably going to regret trying to take Tigress DOWN a notch later, but it was WORTH it in MY books!” (End Confessional)

Sniz says: “Rico, it's your turn!” Rico excitedly says: “Bleh!” Private says: “Kowalski, Rico sounded pretty excited just then! What is HE so happy about?!” Lil says: “Oh! It's probably because he just ate a new and improved batch of Mad Dog Hoek's Explosive Baked Beans! Filled with hot sauce, Pico de Gallo, that's a fancy Mexican name for hot salsa, and Ghost Peppers, filled with enough flavor to make you go...BOOM-BOOM!!!!” Kowalski's eyes open up wide, and he nervously says: “Lil, don't you know that giving Rico too MUCH spicy, hot stuff, is liable to make him...” Blonda shouts: “GO!!!!” Blonda lowers the flag, but Rico doesn't MOVE!!!! Sniz says: “Well, folks. It seems as though we're experiencing some technical difficul--.” (BOOM!!!!) And Rico takes off like a rocket, ZOOMING through the course, and completing EVERYTHING in nearly HALF the time that Brittany took, in only 44 seconds! Lil says: “Whoo-hoo! That fake-out explosion gag NEVER gets old!” And Stimpy just sighs in pure tiredness. (Confessional) Stimpy says: “At first, being in a relationship with Lil was frantic and fun. Now it's just exhausting and tiring.” /

Rico wearily says: “Bleh.” As if to say: “Don't EVER let me do that again!” / Stimpy says: “Seriously, how can ONE girl have such tremendous energy is beyond me!” Stimpy sighs, and he says: “Maybe I'll make those TV movies go straight to Netflix, than see if I can get some counseling scheduled for the both of us. I feel like I need to re-evaluate the priorities in my life.” / Kowalski sighs in relief, and he says: “Only Rico, could ingest THAT insane amount of hot, spicy foods in one sitting, and LIVE to talk about it!” / Private says: “I'm lucky that it wasn't ME who devoured that food stuff! I don't think I can handle an upset stomach! Besides, my lady fans would be DEVASTATED if anything were to happen to me!” Fee pops in, and she says: “And by, 'Lady fans', he means his mother and POSSIBLY Marlene!” Private gets a shocked, indignant look on his face, and he says: “Now WHO asked YOU?!” (End Confessional) Fondue says: “Blonda! Clean-up on aisles four, five, six, AND seven!” Blonda scoffs, and she says: “You're LUCKY that my magic skills comes included in MY contract to you!” And she waves her wand, and fixes the course up as good as new! Sniz says: “Fee, you're up next!” Fee giggles, and she says: “Oh, yeah! I always WANTED to run a good course of Double Dare!” Jenny says: “Wait a MINUTE! Isn't your outfit not up to code with Double Dare standards?! Where are your shoes?!” Fee scoffs, and says: “I don't WEAR any shoes, okay?! Almost NOBODY in Little Bark does! And besides, Bubble Bass, YOU, Johnny, Kowalski, Po, Private, Rico, and Tigress DON'T wear shoes, either!” Jenny says: “My rocket boots are CLASSIFIED as shoes, and they are ATTACHED to me, LITERALLY! As for everyone else you mentioned, they're not SUPPOSED to wear shoes! What's YOUR excuse?!” Fee scoffs, and she says: “I'm, like, not RICH enough to AFFORD shoes! I've LITERALLY only been reunited with my parents for like a WEEK before coming onto this thing!”

Jenny says: “Well, the fact of the matter remains, you need shoes, or you'll spread who KNOWS what kinds of germs over the Double Dare course!” Rico nauseatingly says: “Bleh!” And he coughs up a pair of pretty, pink shoes! Fee scoffs, and says: “See?! There! It resolved itself!” (Confessional) Jenny scoffs, and she says: “Humph! She's LUCKY that Rico is a living bag of holding! But why Rico would hold a pair of WOMEN shoes, I'll never know!” / Kowalski says: “Skipper said, you'll never know when we might need to dress in drag for investigative purposes! That's why Skipper is always CRAZY prepared!” / Fee shows off her new shoes, and she says: “Fanciest pair of shoes that I have ever owned! Technically, their the ONLY pair of shoes I have ever owned, but who's counting?! Princess will be SO jealous, and Harvey will be SWEPT off his FEET when he sees ME again!” (End Confessional)

Sniz says: “Good! You have some shoes, we've got a hair-net/helmet for your hair! Everybody's happy, except for Squidward!” And Squidward can still be heard weeping in the cafeteria! Bubble Bass says: “Man, I just got to DO something about this!” Bubble Bass goes up to Tigress, and he asks: “Tigress, what should I do about this?!” Tigress shrugs and says: “You're asking the wrong member of the Furious Five! Why don't you talk to Monkey, Crane, or Po? They're WAY more sociable than I am!” Bubble Bass says: “Well, maybe I WOULD, except that PO is on the other team, and Monkey and Crane are nowhere NEAR us, so talking to them is out of the question!” Tigress sighs, and says: “FINE! I'll take a shot! What do you want to know?!” Bubble Bass says: “I know that you have no right to believe me, but I honestly didn't realize I SAID those things to Squidward until I heard him cry! I mean, I AM trying to be honest, but I didn't mean to make him CRY like that! You gotta give me some expert advice on this!” Tigress chuckles, and she says: “Bubble Bass, that's one of the HARDEST things about being a contestant in this game! You've got to balance being NICE, WITH being honest! And it's not always an easy balance to maintain! There may be PLENTY of times, where being nice, or being honest, might be mutually EXCLUSIVE from each other! Just because you can be one, may not mean you can be the other!” Bubble Bass says: “Yeah.” And Bubble Bass mispronounces: “Neee...eyes. MAN, my enunciating of THAT word was HORRIBLE! Obviously, it's something that I have next to no practice in whatsoever!”

Tigress says: “Lucky for you, I'm feeling in a charitable mood, so I'll tell you what I'll do, just for you! I'll form an ALLIANCE with you, and anybody else you can get in your corner. And if YOU keep being your brutal, honest self with ME, I might be willing to help YOU, learn what it means to be nice, and in turn, you get to keep being as honest as you want to be!” Bubble Bass asks: “I'm supposed to take advice, on how to be nice, with YOU?” Tigress asks: “You know of anyone else who would be so EAGER to work with you, BESIDES Johnny Krill?!” Bubble Bass gets an anime sweat-drop, and he says: “Well, you got me there.” Tigress says: “It will be EASY! As long as we all vote together, I can see ME making the Final Three EASILY!!!!” Bubble Bass says: “WHAT?!!!” Tigress says: “Freudian slip! Said, 'Me', meant to say, 'Us'!” Bubble Bass says: “Well, it's not like I've got any better options for moving forward in this game! I'll take it!” Tigress chuckles, and she says: “See THAT, Po?! I can be charitable and totally selfless when I need to be!” Po says: “To be fair, I never said you COULDN'T!” Tigress asks: “Katarra, has he ever SAID I couldn't?!” Katarra says: “Reading his aura, I can assure you, he didn't.” (Confessional) Katarra rolls her eyes, and she says: “And if you must know how I can READ auras, I pick up on the vibrations within the Hydrogen molecules in water, which is practically EVERYWHERE, and by deciphering their unique vibrations, I can in turn, find out all the information a person, or a panda, has within them! If you want to find out anything ELSE about me, wait until I write my tell-all book, in about sixty years or so!” /

Bubble Bass says: “Wow! I didn't even NEED to bribe Tigress! She came to ME! First time a woman NOT related to me has ever done THAT! And as far as being nice goes, I could probably get a better teacher than Tigress. But since my options are limited at the moment, I'll take what I can get! Besides, a 'Tigress' level of nice, is probably a level of nice I can HANDLE being! I mean, I have WAY too much dignity and honor at stake, to EVER stoop to being the level of SPONGEBOB'S annoying niceness! But Tigress? If I can learn how to emulate her, I can keep being honest, and maybe, learn how not to be so blunt! I just hope those blasted ANTI-Fairies won't be a problem for me going forward!” / Anti-Cosmo is polishing his magic wand, and he says: “No promises!” (End Confessional) Blonda rolls her eyes, and says: “Enough with the blasted delays! Let's get this show on the road!” Fee says: “I'm ready whenever everybody ELSE is!” Blonda says: “In that case, get on your mark, get set...!” The horn blares, and she lowers the flag, and Blonda shouts: “GO!” And as Fee starts her run of the obstacle challenge, everybody starts to hear some country pop music playing in the background.

Brittany asks: “Excuse me, what's with that music?” Sniz says: “Oh, we had some leftover music ideas from Total Cartoon Global Cruise that we didn't get around to using. We didn't want them to go to waste, so we'll use the songs whenever we can get around to them, for here!” And as soon as Sniz finishes that, a montage of Fee playing the challenge in her fancy new shoes, is shown as Nancy Sinatra is heard singing her hit song, “These Boots Are Made For Walking!” / Nancy Sinatra sings: “You keep saying you got something for me. Something you call love, but confess. You've been a'messin' where you shouldn't 've been a'messin'. And now someone else is getting all your best. These boots are made for walking. And that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you!

You keep lyin' when you oughta be truthin'. You keep losing when you oughta not bet. You keep samin' when you oughta be a'changin'. Now what's right is right but you ain't been right yet! These boots are made for walking. And that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you! You keep playing where you shouldn't be playing. And you keep thinking that you'll never get burnt. (HAH!) Well, I just found me a brand new box of matches, YEAH. And what he knows, you ain't had time to learn. These boots are made for walking, And that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you. Are you ready, boots? Start walkin'!” / And as soon as the song finishes, Fee finishes with her challenge, with six seconds to spare!

Fee says: “And would you believe that I've never had a professional day of training in my life?!” Tigress says: “You ever drop by the Valley of Peace, I might be able to show you some moves!” Fee says: “I'll consider that, IF I ever make enough money to AFFORD your lessons!” Tigress says: “You'd be SURPRISED I'm very affordable!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “Note, that I SAID that I was AFFORDABLE! I didn't say HOW affordable I was!” / Fee says: “She may be 'Affordable', but by no means, do I think having ANY lessons with her will be easy!” (End Confessional) General Barracuda claps his fins together, and he says: “Let's pick up the PACE, contestants! I haven't GOT all day!” Blonda rolls her eyes, sighs, and says: “Ahhh. It sounds like General Barracuda is in another one of his MOODS again! Fortunately, I've got the MAGIC touch to help with this! CUE the montage sequence!” Sniz asks: “WAIT! Can she DO that, legally?” Fondue looks in her contract, and he says: “Apparently, she CAN whenever she feels that the episode is starting to run TOO long, or, whenever she needs a good laugh!” Sniz says: “Man, we gotta get one of THOSE kinds of contracts!” / During the montage that shows all of the other contestants performing, a Blues Rock song by Stevie Ray Vaughan is heard playing, and it his 1989 mega-hit song, “Crossfire!” /

Stevie Ray Vaughan sings: “Day by day, night after night, blinded by the neon lights. Hurry here, hustlin' there. No one's got the time to spare. Money's tight, nothin' free. Won't somebody come and rescue me? I am stranded, caught in the crossfire. Stranded, caught in the crossfire. Tooth for tooth, eye for an eye. Sell your soul just to buy, buy, buy. Beggin' a dollar, stealin' a dime. Come on, can't you see that I; I am stranded, caught in the crossfire. I am stranded, caught in the crossfire. I need some kind of kindness, some kind of sympathy, oh, no! We're stranded, caught in the crossfire! Save the strong, lose the weak! Never turning the other cheek! Trust nobody, don't be no fool! Whatever happened to the golden rule? We got stranded, caught in the crossfire! We got stranded, caught in the crossfire! We got stranded, caught in the crossfire! Stranded, caught in the crossfire! Help me!” And a guitar solo plays, and ends the song! / Sniz says: “Wow! I can't BELIEVE that every single contestant managed to complete the first part of the challenge! I must say, I'm actually impressed!” Bubble Bass is panting, and clearly out of breath as he is SWEATING quite visibly! Bubble Bass tiredly says: “I'm impressed, to! Now let me finish coughing up a lung!” Sniz says: “Now, for the second, and FINAL part of the challenge, each team must pick three of its best members to perform their solo talent acts, in order to get judged by the three judges!”

Johnny says: “Wait! If you only need THREE team-members to perform, why did you make ALL of us run that obstacle course?!” Sniz asks: “Are you saying that you want to make TIGRESS do all the heavy lifting?!” And the camera pans to Tigress, and she PUNCHES an EIGHT THOUSAND pound cinder block, and it CRUMBLES into nothingness! Tigress breathes on her right fist, and she says: “I punch heavier blocks than that for BREAKFAST!” Johnny gets an anime Sweat-drop, and he says: “On second thought, go team!” Sniz says: “We'll take a brief, commercial break. But when we come back, we will see who has the talent needed to impress the judges on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! It will be AWESOME! Hopefully!” (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now.

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Once again, sorry for the delay, but here is the second and final part of "Girls (And Boys) On Film!" / 

After the commercials end, Stimpy and Lil are sitting on a make-shift stage panel, waiting to judge the contestants who will be performing for them. Stimpy says: “Welcome back to Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Sniz had to 'Powder his nose', whatever THAT means, so he asked me to fill in until he gets back! The contestants on both teams are currently grouped together, to figure out who is going to perform for us, and Blonda! Let's take a look in, on the creative process!” / The Power Pandas are grouped together, and Po says: “All right, fellow contestants! We can't get complacent! Tigress is going to pick the BEST contestants on her team, to perform against us, to make up for the LAST challenge! We'll have to perform at 110% if we want to win this one! Who wants to step up to the plate, BESIDES me?” Theodore raises his hand, and he asks: “Can I perform? I'd like to sing a song for Brittany Miller!”

Jenny says: “Theodore, you HAD to compete in the first part of this challenge in order to be eligible for the SECOND part of this challenge, remember?” Theodore says: “Well, can you at LEAST make a note of it that I offered?” (Confessional) Theodore says: “Okay, maybe I'm a little TOO obvious at trying to keep myself off the chopping block in case we lose! But can you blame me? I mean, the only contestant on this season who is even LESS athletic than me, is probably Bubble Bass! So in terms of athletic skills, I'm not going to last long if all we get are physical challenges! I have to utilize my brains and talent SOMEHOW!” / Jenny says: “Even though I've been programmed to function and do a lot of different skills, I don't want to rely on them if I don't have to. After all, I'm playing against flesh and blood creatures here. If I perform at my best, they'll accuse me of being a 'Mary Sue', whoever THAT is! So, I'm going to have to do something that isn't ALREADY in my computer programming, in order to show them that I have flaws just like they do, and become more endearing and likable in the process. The question is, what?” (End Confessional) Private raises his flipper, and he says: “Why don't you pick Danny Fenton?! He's GREAT at imitating certain celebrities!” Danny says: “Uh, excuse me?!” Private says: “Well, you ARE!” Danny says: “Yeah, but NOT on command! I can't just FORCE an imitation!” Private says: “Just try feeling whatever it is you feel, and you'll be able to imitate them! It will be a big hit! Not to mention, it will keep us having a numbers advantage in the next challenge.” Danny sighs, and says: “All right, I'll do my celebrity impersonations as my talent.” (Confessional) Danny jerks, and channels Rodney Dangerfield, as he says: “That doesn't mean I have to like it, because I won't!” (End Confessional)

Jenny raises her hand, and says: “Can you pick me? I've got a juggling/unicycle act that I think I would be good at!” Kowalski says: “Interesting! I would certainly pay to see THAT! Not to mention, it would give Rico a chance to recuperate from his explosive experience!” (Confessional) Rico nods weakly and says: “Bleh.” As if to say: “I'm done for today!” / Jenny says: “Technically speaking, I CAN juggle, but I've certainly never ridden a unicycle before, so that's GOT to be something that I can't do perfectly! I mean, a robot is only as good as the person who makes it, even though my mom IS one of the best, she's STILL only human!” (End Confessional) Po says: “And I'll step up for the team! My Kung Fu Martial Arts skills are second to none! That is, unless anybody ELSE wants to volunteer instead.” Kowalski says: “I don't think so.” Rico rolls his eyes and says: “Bleh.” Private says: “I'm fine with that.” Theodore says: “I can't volunteer anyways!” Po says: “Okay; then it's Jenny, me, and Danny, representing our team!” /

Tigress says: “Fellow contestants, I cannot STRESS enough how much I DON'T want us to lose again! We've got to make up for the LAST challenge! Now, who here BESIDES me has a talent that THEY want to offer?” Brittany says: “You've GOT to pick me! I'm only the most TALENTED singer in the whole wide world!” Tigress gets an idea, and she slyly says: “Well, that IS debatable. But, I'll tell you what. I'm in a GENEROUS mood today, and so, I'll let you go on-stage and sing WHATEVER song you want!” Brittany smirks, and says: “I KNEW you'd recognize my talents eventually!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “The way I see it, this is a Win-win situation for me! If Brittany succeeds, I can say it was all MY idea, and take all the glory. If she blows it, I can blame HER for everything, and boot her out of the game! Either way, it's no skin off MY nose!” / Brittany says: “I can't believe Tigress went out of her way to pick ME! She must be really DESPERATE to win THIS challenge!” (End Confessional) Johnny says: “You've got to pick ME for my MAD dare-devil skills! They are totally WICKED!!!!” Tigress says: “No thanks! We can't afford to have YOU damage anymore of your brain cells, such as they are! Bubble Bass, how about you?” Bubble Bass asks: “What possible talent do you think that I could possess?!” Tigress says: “Be a sumo wrestler!” Bubble Bass says: “What makes you think that I know HOW to be a Sumo wrestler?!” Tigress says: “Simple. You're fat, you're chubby, you're overweight, you're obese, and you'd look GREAT in a diaper!” Bubble Bass says: “Besides the LAST thing, all the other qualities are the exact SAME thing!”

Tigress says: “Irrelevant! Besides, I think you OWE Squidward a good laugh for the hurtful things you SAID to him earlier today!” Bubble Bass says: “Which AGAIN, wasn't my fault! But, I do suppose I OWE him! Just remember, you owe me BIG time for putting me up to this!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass rolls his eyes and says: “The THINGS I do to keep THAT woman happy! If I wasn't so AFRAID that she would kick my BUTT if I didn't say 'Yes', I wouldn't even HUMOR her! But, if it's a show she wants, than I will do everything I can to impress!” / Tigress says: “Bubble Bass OBVIOUSLY has ONLY spent about...roughly HALF his life just looking on the Internet! He HAS to have at least LOOKED at Sumo Wrestlers in action at least ONCE! And if he hasn't, at least I'll get a good LAUGH out of the deal!” (End Confessional) Tigress says: “And I'll perform the ULTIMATE trick of pain suppression! Walking across a field of HOT coals, COMPLETELY blindfolded, without flinching even ONCE!!!!” Katarra says: “Even I wouldn't be able to do THAT, and I'm me!” (Confessional) Katarra says: “Tigress kind of reminds me of a Fire-Bender. All hot-headed, and completely SURE of herself, no matter WHAT anyone else says!” / Tigress says: “If walking across a field of hot coals doesn't get ME the win, I don't know WHAT will!” / Johnny rolls his eyes and says: “I hate to predict what will PROBABLY be the painfully OBVIOUS, but I'm pretty sure Tigress just referred to only HERSELF getting the win, and NOT the entire team! It's a little self-degrading to my self-esteem, if I'm being completely honest, and I am!” (End Confessional) Tigress says: “It's SETTLED then! It will be me, Bubble Bass, and Brittany, representing our team!” Brittany says: “Saving the best for LAST, our you?” Tigress looks at her, and groaning, says: “Eh, sure. Whatever floats YOUR boat, whatever THAT means!” / Sniz says: “Okay, the contestants are all set, and our judges are ready to judge them! Blonda, did you check each contestants talent, to make sure that they are appropriate for our viewing audiences?” Blonda says: “You KNOW that I did!” Sniz says: “Then, let us get TO the action! Jenny, you are up first!”

Danny says: “Well, as they say in show business, 'Break a leg'!” Jenny says: “I highly doubt THAT will happen! My legs are made out of a Titanium, Carbonic alloy. But, you were using a metaphor, weren't you?” Danny says: “Well, yes!” Jenny says: “Okay. I wasn't initially DESIGNED to recognize metaphorical use, so it takes me a while to get it analyzed into my internal CPU memory!” (Confessional) Jenny says: “It's nice to know that SOMEBODY has confidence in me!” / Danny says: “I was just trying to be a good, encouraging team-mate! I'd do the same for anybody else!” (End Confessional)

Sniz asks: “Blonda, what is Jenny's talent?!” Blonda says: “Riding on a unicycle while juggling!” Johnny says: “I'm glad you didn't pick ME, Tigress! That was actually one of MY ideas!” Tigress says: “She doesn't got this! I'd give her five minutes, TOPS, before she BLOWS it!” Sniz says: “Blonda, some appropriate juggling music!” Blonda pulls out an old-fashioned boom-box, and plays some familiar stock music! Predictably, even WITH her robotic skills, Jenny is having a HARD time balancing ON the unicycle, and juggling a BUNCH of house-hold items at the same time! Po says: “WOW! I haven't seen ANYBODY so frantic since the time Tigress tried to balance FOUR spinning plates on four spinning sticks for 45 minutes, ALL at the same time!” Theodore asks: “How could she balance four?” Po says: “She balanced one on her NOSE!!” Theodore says: “WOW!!!!” (Confessional) Theodore says: “On second thought, maybe it's a GOOD thing I'm not competing in this part of the challenge. Singing just seems to be so...inadequate of a talent for trying to win this thing!” (End Confessional) Kowalski crunches some numbers on a calculator, and he says: “Judging by the speed that she's juggling the balls, and her imperfect balance on the unicycle, I predict she has only 35 seconds before--.” Jenny says: “WOAH!!!!” And she falls backwards OFF of her unicycle, and all the stuff she was juggling falls DOWN to the ground! Kowalski says: “Make that 3.5 seconds before she falls to the ground!” Jenny nervously giggles, and she says: “Ta-dah! I...meant to do that!” (Confessional) Jenny says: “Honestly, I lasted about 55 seconds LONGER than I thought I would. That was actually my personal best!” (End Confessional)

Sniz says: “Judges, what do YOU have to say?” Stimpy says: “That was a GREAT act of comedy and humor! ANYONE can do a STANDARD juggling routine, but it takes REAL talent to make people laugh! I'd give it an 8 out of 10!” Lil says: “Eh, in my opinion. There just weren't enough explosions for my taste. I'd give it a 4 out of 10.” Blonda says: “If she REALLY wanted to impress me, she should have worn something flashy and DAZZLING! I'd give it a 2 out of 10!” Sniz says: “So, Jenny has 14 out of 30 points! This is the score to beat! Tigress, you're up next!” Tigress says: “Stand back, as I put this ENTIRE challenge away!” And Fee just rolls her eyes in dis-belief! (Confessional) Fee says: “If you ask me, she needs to put her EGO away before she hurts herself!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “Blonda, play some appropriate music for the occasion!” Blonda says: “No problem! I'll play The Jimi Hendrix Experience, and their song, called, Fire!” And sure enough, while Tigress is walking back and forth across the field of hot coals, without even flinching ONCE!

Jimi Hendrix is singing, and he sings: “Alright, now listen, baby. You don't care for me, I don'-a care about that. Gotta new fool, ha! I like it like that! I have only one burning desire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Listen here, baby; and stop acting so crazy! You say your mum ain't home, it ain't my concern, just play with me and you won't get burned! I have only one itching desire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire! Oh! Move over, Rover, and let Jimi take over! Yeah, you know what I'm talking 'bout! Yeah, get on with it, baby! That's what I'm talking 'bout! Now dig this! Ha! Now listen, baby! You try to gimme your money; you better save it, babe! Save it for your rainy day. I have only one burning desire, let me stand next to your fire! Let me stand next to your fire!” / And the song ends as Tigress finishes crossing the second time, and takes her blind-fold off! Tigress says: “Well, was I HOT, or WHAT?!” Fee says: “I'd go with, 'Or what?'; personally!” Sniz says: “Judges, what say you?” Stimpy says: “Personally, I don't SEE anything funny about walking across a field of hot coals! I'd give it a 4 out of 10 at best.” Lil says: “Now THAT'S the kind of action I'm talking about! Something hot, something FIERY, something EXCITING! I'd give it a 9 out of 10!” Blonda says: “Personally, I can't see MYSELF walking on a field of hot coals, but I LOVE the way she DRESSES! Eh, I'd give her an 8 out of 10!”

Sniz says: “And just like that, Tigress is in the lead with 21 out of 30 points!” Tigress says: “I have SO got this in the bag!” And Kowalski shakes his head. (Confessional) Kowalski says: “In my personal experience, anytime someone says they have it in the bag, whatever THAT means, it ALWAYS means that they DON'T have it in the bag, ironically enough!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “All right! Po, you're up next!” Tigress says: “Hold it! Bubble Bass would like to CHALLENGE Po in a display of strength and skill with THIS challenge!” General Barracuda asks: “Say, Fondue! Can Bubble Bass DO that?!” Fondue looks in the rule book, and he says: “Well, it IS a little unusual. But if he HAS a valid challenge, we CAN'T refuse! And Tigress looks SO sure about this!” Bubble Bass says: “EXCUSE me, why do YOU want to challenge ME, to fight Po?!” Tigress says: “Well, you've got to fight SOMEBODY, and with YOUR immense weight, Po can't just pick you up and THROW you out of the ring! And you might even kick his BUTT if you're lucky!” Bubble Bass says: “You just want to get back at Po for beating YOU in the last challenge, DON'T you?!” Tigress says: “I would be LYING if I said that such a thought never crossed MY mind!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Once again, that irritating thing known as 'Irony', has shown me that there can be FAR more annoying women I can meet than my own mom! Namely, Tigress! I'm starting to think that SHE'S got even MORE of an antagonistic streak than I do! And I'm not even TRYING to be antagonistic! In fact, I think I've been EXTREMELY patient and forgiving with HER, all things considered! She just BETTER not try and push me TOO far! Even I have my limits, such as they are!” /

Tigress says: “Po, you are going to find out just how HARD a sumo wrestler can fight! Or at the very least, find out just how HEAVY a sumo wrestler can get! Either way, I'm SURE to enjoy myself!” (End Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Fine, I'll do it. But I'm NOT wearing a diaper!” Tigress says: “Eh, fair enough. You look more appropriate as you are, in all honesty.” Sniz says: “All right, judges! We have a FIGHT off for this talent! TWO contestants for the price of one!” Lil says: “Now THIS is the kind of excitement I LIKE!” Stimpy says: “I just hope something FUNNY happens!” Blonda says: “Neither ONE of them is wearing something particularly flashy!” Sniz says: “Blonda, play some appropriate music!” Blonda says: “And here, I thought my collection of Weird Al Yankovic music would NEVER pay off!”

Blonda puts another cassette in the Boom-box, and the song, “Fat,” plays, while Po and Bubble Bass SPAR against each other! / Weird Al sings: “Your butt is wide, well mine is, too. Just watch your mouth, or I'll sit on you. The word is out, better treat me right, cause I'm the king of cellulite. Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right! My zippers bust, my buckles break! I'm too much man for you to take! The pavement cracks when I fall down! I've got more chins than Chinatown! Well, I've never used a phone booth, and I've never seen my toes. When I'm goin' to the movies, I take up seven rows because I'm fat, I'm fat, really, really fat. You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know; really, really fat. You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come on, you know! Don't you call me pudgy, portly, or stout, just tell me once again who's fat? When I walk out to get my mail, it measures on the Richter scale. Down at the beach I'm a lucky man, I'm the only one who gets a tan. If I have one more pie a la mode. I'm gonna need my own zip code. When you're only having seconds, I'm a' having twenty-thirds. When I go to get my shoes shined, I gotta take their word because I'm fat, I'm fat, really, really fat. You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know; really really fat. You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it you know! And my shadow weighs at forty-two pounds, lemme tell you once again who's fat! (Musical Break) If you see me comin' your way, better give me plenty space. If I tell you that I'm hungry, then won't you feed my face? Because I'm fat, I'm fat, really, really fat. You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know; really, really fat. You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know! When I sit around the house I REALLY sit around the house! You know I'm fat, I'm fat, really, really fat. You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it; really, really fat. You know, you know, you know, come on! And you know, all by myself, I'm a crowd. Lemme tell you once again! You know I'm HUGE, I'm fat, you know it! Really, really fat. You know I'm fat, you know; Woo! Really, really fat. You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know! And the whole world knows I'm fat, and I'm proud, just tell me once again who's fat?!” /

And the song ends as both Po and Bubble Bass collapse in a heap next to each other, to exhausted to continue! Sniz says: “Uh, I have NO idea who won THAT one! Judges, what do YOU have to say?” Stimpy says: “Well, they WERE both pretty good fighters! But I have to say, I like watching Po fight more than I do Bubble Bass! I'd give Po an 8 out of 10 and Bubble Bass a 6 out of 10.” Lil says: “I agree. Bubble Bass good, Po is better! I'd give them both the same that Stimpy gave them!” Blonda says: “Maybe it's the fact that I love me some BAD boys, but I love me some Bubble Bass! I'll give him an 8 out of 10, and Po a 6 out of 10!” Bubble Bass says: “If I'm her idea of a BAD boy, imagine what a truly TERRIBLE guy must be like!” Sniz says: “So, that means Bubble Bass has 20 out of 30 points, while Po has 22 out of 30 points! He's just one point ahead of Tigress!” Tigress says: “Oh, SURE!!!! Rub SALT in my wound, why don't YOU?!” Po says: “It's not like Crane, Mantis, and Viper are the ones doing the judging!” Tigress says: “Of course not! Because if they WERE, I'd have an insurmountable LEAD!!!!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “Imagine! Twelve YEARS of training myself to walk across hot coals, and it DOESN'T even get me more points than Po has! Brittany had BETTER step up to the plate, or she is GONE!!!!” / Bubble Bass says: You know, I'm actually SURPRISED by how long I lasted against Po! I'm kind of proud of myself. Maybe there IS more to me than just fat. Uh, that, didn't come out right.” (End Confessional)

Sniz says: “Next up, it's Danny Fenton, doing celebrity impersonations!” Po says: “You've got this Danny, just knock them dead! Not, literally, of course!” Danny approaches the stage, pulls up a rocking chair, and he jerks, and channels Rodney Dangerfield! Danny says: “You know, kids these days don't seem to know how good they got it; walking around with their Nintendo Switches and what not! You know in my day, if we wanted entertainment, we actually played a game called Kick the can! A can that cost TEN cents mind you, and we'd play with it for HOURS at a time, and we thought that was high tech! And speaking of cans, instead of cell phones, we'd string up two cans together, in order to make a make-shift telephone! THAT was the height of technology for us!” Than Danny jerks and channels Bette Davis! Danny says: “And MOVIES were filled with SUCH glamorous stars! Greta Garbo, and Monroe, Dietrich, Judy Garland, Doris Day, James Dean, Grace Kelly, Harlow Jean, Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Rita Hayworth, Lauren Bacall, Katherine Hepburn, Audrey Hepburn, and my personal favorite, Bette Davis! I know that one day, I shall experience the heights of fame that SHE once did, REALLY I will!” Than Danny takes off his shirt, and channels a young Marlon Brando! Danny says: “Because I tell you, the only thing worse than NOT getting famous, is being a young punk nobody! I want to HAVE a shot, I want to be a contender, STELLA!!!!” Than Danny puts his shirt back on, and resuming Rodney Dangerfield, he says: “That would be the name of a VERY pretty cat, who would probably get more respect than I do!” And Danny bows, and jerks back to normal, and the judges give him a ROUND of applause!

Stimpy says: “I haven't heard comedy like THAT in a LONG time! I'd give it a 10 out of 10!” Lil says: “Eh, could have used more explosions. But I liked it, I'll give it a 9 out of 10.” Blonda says: “Been a long time since I heard most of THOSE famous names used! It was WONDERFUL! I'd give it a 10 out of 10!” Sniz says: “That means Danny is now in the lead with 29 out of 30 points! Brittany, you'll have to score a PERFECT 30 out of 30 points in order to beat Danny!” Brittany says: “Don't worry, I've got JUST the thing! A brand new, musical genre that I JUST came up with! A mix between Rap and Country! I call it...CRAPTRY!!!!” Tigress says: “What an ASTONISHINGLY appropriate name for it!” Brittany says: “Since I don't have my sisters with me, Blonda, would YOU supply the appropriate music?” Blonda chuckles, and she says: “This is going to be MORE embarrassingly BAD than the time Britney Spears got married to a guy for ONLY 50 or so odd hours!” And Blonda plays country music on the Boom-box, and Brittany Miller sings (in her chipmunk voice), an altered version of “Achy Breaky Heart!” /

Brittany sings: “You can tell the world you never was my guy, you can burn my clothes up when I'm gone! You can tell your friends just what a fool I've been, and laugh and joke about me on the phone! You can tell my arms: go back to the farm. You can tell my feet to hit the floor! Or you can tell my lips to tell my fingertips, they won't be reaching out for me no more. But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart. I just don't think she'd understand. And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, she might blow up and kill this woman! You can tell your mom I moved to Arkansas! You can tell your dog to bite my leg. Or tell your brother Cliff, whose fist can tell my lip, he never really liked me anyway. Or tell your Aunt Louise, tell anything you please. Myself; I already know I'm not OK. Or you can tell my eyes to watch out for my mind; it might be walking out on me today. But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart. I just don't think she'd understand! And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, she might blow up and kill this woman! Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart. I just don't think she'd understand. And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, she might blow up and kill this woman!” (Instrumental finish) / The song ends as the music is apparently SO bad, it actually causes the boom-box to EXPLODE, and causes a piece of shrapnel to HIT Anti-Cosmo! Anti-Cosmo says: “I am REALLY getting sick of stuff hitting me!” Sniz says: “UGH!!!! That was AWFUL!!!! Who taught you to SING?!!! Judges?!” Stimpy says: “I did some...questionable stuff on MY show, but that was AWFUL!!!! NEGATIVE 10 out of positive 10!”

Lil says: “I can't say I liked that, even WITH the explosion! I mean, I COULD, but that would be a LIE! Zero out of TEN!!!!” Blonda says: “Normally, I actually LIKE a good disaster, but, I can't like whatever THAT was! I'll ALSO give it a NEGATIVE 10 out of positive 10!” Sniz says: “Wow! So that means, Brittany actually LOST 20 points, which is ALMOST like she almost COMPLETELY negated TIGRESS' performance! In any case, that means that by winning 29 out of 30 points, Danny is the most TALENTED contestant of this challenge, and he WINS the challenge with the REST of the Power Pandas! Killer Prawns, you will once again have to send someone to the Slingshot of Shame!” Tigress screams: “BRITTANY, you JERK!!!! You COST US the GAME!!!!” Johnny says: “Oh, so NOW it's 'US', and not, 'You'!” Tigress says: “Stay out of this! Brittany, YOU are DEAD; metaphorically speaking!” Brittany Miller fumes, and says: “Oh, you are SO lucky that I can't get a hold of my entourage right now!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “Well, THAT could have gone better. In fact, it couldn't have GONE any worse! The NERVE of that chipmunk, deciding to pollute MY precious ear drums with THAT awful song! Honestly, what could she have been THINKING, choosing a song like THAT?!!!” / Brittany says: “Honestly, that song sounds a LOT better in the studio! I did NOT have the right acoustics to get the sound right!” / Bubble Bass says: “So, I talked with Squidward, and apologized for what I said before. He actually saw my performance, and he thought that it was pretty cool that I was willing to willingly put myself up for potential humiliation against Po, and actually manage to end up coming out almost even with him. He was really impressed by it. I also think that Tigress has more respect for me than she did before; especially since I willingly put myself out like that. And if she respects me, it's going to make things a lot easier for us going forward.” / Katarra says: “For Brittany, it is ALL over but the shouting!” (End Confessional)

The Killer Prawns are once again facing an Elimination Ceremony! Sniz says: “Wow! Losing twice in TWO challenges! How does a team, with TIGRESS in it, manage to lose not once, but TWO challenges in a row!” Tigress says: “Well, thanks to some certain woman who shall FOREVER remain BRITTANY, she has caused us nothing but misery and grief during her time here! It's time to cut the DEAD weight!” Brittany says: “You just don't know how to utilize my TALENTS correctly!” Tigress says: “Well, maybe I COULD, if you HAD any ACTUAL talents to utilize!” Fee says: “OOH, BURN!!!!” Johnny says: “Can't say I don't agree with Tigress, because I do! The dead weight has GOT to go!” Brittany says: “SERIOUSLY?!” Bubble Bass says: “See you, wouldn't want to BE you!”

Sniz says: “All right! Enough chatting! It's time for the vote-off to commence!” (Confessional) The contestants are choosing from Playing Cards, with the contestants faces on them, to decide which one they want to mark over with an X, to signify their vote to eliminate said contestant! Brittany says: “Since voting for Tigress would probably get me DESTROYED, I'll settle for voting off Fee!” / Bubble Bass says: “Sorry, Brittany, it's nothing personal, but you stink WORSE, than the daily special at the Chum Bucket!” / Fee says: “I mean no offense to you, Brittany, but it's either you, or me; and I have NO intention of leaving YET!” / Johnny says: “I'll be glad to get rid of YOU, Brittany! Little Miss NO Talent!” / Katarra says: “Statistically Brittany, you were ALWAYS going to be an early boot!” / Tigress says: “Bye-Bye Brittany! Hope to see YOU again, NEVER!!!!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “I've got five safe marshmallows; plus ONE potentially hazardous Anti-Fairy marshmallow! When I call your name, you will receive a safe marshmallow. Whoever DOESN'T get a safe marshmallow, must immediately pack their things, and head for the Slingshot of Shame! You will be eliminated, and you will PROBABLY never come back, EVER! Tigress! Johnny, Bubble Bass, Katarra!” Brittany and Fee angrily look at each other, knowing that ONE of them is trying to vote the other off! Sniz says: “Girls, I've only got one safe marshmallow left. And it's going to...FEE!!!!” Brittany says: “WHAT?!!! YIKES!!!!” And Brittany NARROWLY dodges the Anti-Fairy marshmallow, as it lands on a dead plant, and the plant instantly BURNS up! Fee says: “I am SO glad that wasn't me! Harvey would be CRUSHED if something happened to MY hair!”

Sniz says: “Brittany, the team has spoken! It's time for you to go!” / All of Brittany's bags are loaded up in the slingshot, and Brittany has been fitted with her safety gear! Brittany asks: “Um, don't I get a last request; like, singing a song that says something like, 'My Heart Will Go On?!!!” Tigress says: “You'll get NOTHING and LIKE it!!!!” Johnny says: “Tell it like it is, girl!” General Barracuda says: “You heard them! GET, while the getting is still GOOD!!!!” (SPROING!!!!) Brittany screams: “WOAH, woah, WOAH!!!!” As she soars out of sight! Sniz says: “Whoo! Two down, and twelve to go! We still have an interesting array of contestants competing against each other! With the dead weight gone, the Killer Prawns are now well-positioned to make a come-back in the next challenge! If you want to find out if they do, be sure to tune in next time, for another exciting episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! It's going to be fun!” / Episode Notes: Contestants remaining: Bubble Bass (Killer Prawn); Danny Fenton (Power Panda); Fee (Killer Prawn); Jenny Wakeman (Power Panda); Johnny Krill (Killer Prawn); Katarra (Killer Prawn); Kowalski (Power Panda); Po (Power Panda); Private (Power Panda); Rico (Power Panda); Theodore Seville (Power Panda); Tigress (Killer Prawn). /

Eliminated: #14, Bessie Higgenbottom (“The Mighty B!”). / #13: Brittany Miller (“Alvinnn!!!! And the Chipmunks”). Featured songs in this episode: “Girls On Film” (Also part of the episode title); “These Boots Are Made For Walking; Crossfire; Fire; Fat;” and an altered version of “Achy Breaky Heart”. Bubble Bass officially forms an alliance with Johnny Krill and Tigress. Danny Fenton's confirmed celebrities that he can channel so far, are Rodney Dangerfield, Bette Davis, and a young Marlon Brando.

Personal Notes: This episode, was mostly me trying to find new ways to work with characters who, besides Po and Tigress, I haven't gotten much of a chance to work with. I really hope to try and find new nuances with characters, and find new ways for characters to interact with each other. And the best way I could do that, was by trying to create a brand new episode from scratch. Sure, it's a lot harder than trying to copy a pre-existing episode, but I think the end result is definitely much more fun and original to write as a result! Brittany Miller singing an altered version of “Achy Breaky Heart”, is actually a reference to the fact that Alvin and the Chipmunks (as a band) actually HAVE at ONE point, actually COVERED that song on one of their albums! I'm NOT even KIDDING you; look it up! Needless to say, I wanted to take this opportunity to point out that yes, there are SOME retro songs that even I wouldn't like to touch, not even with a, 39 and a half foot pole! Needless to say, Brittany is gone from the competition, but this might NOT be the last we've heard from her! You'll just have to wait and see! / That's it for my episode idea for today! Enough said, true believers!

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Getting back to this has taken me FAR longer than I would have liked, but at least I have the first part of my next episode up! I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it! / 

Sniz is standing on the Dock of Shame and says: “Last time on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, it was a retro-themed challenge, as we took a page from Total Cartoon Action, and did a movie-themed challenge. In an interesting turn of events, Bubble Bass managed to score both Johnny Krill, AND Tigress into an alliance with him! Usually, you have to pay EXTRA for Tigress! The contestants first had to make their way through a Double Dare obstacle course, before getting the chance to show their talents to the judges, which included former contestants, Lil and Stimpy. Some contestants, like Jenny, Tigress, Po, Bubble Bass, and Danny Fenton, did exceptionally well! But Brittany Miller, on the other hand, most decidedly did NOT! And she ended up COSTING her team of the Killer Prawns, the challenge! So it was to nobody's surprise EXCEPT for Brittany, that she ended up getting the unceremonious boot out of the game! There are only twelve contestants left, and it seems like now is the PERFECT time for the Killer Prawns to make a combat! How will they prove themselves? What will today's challenge end up being? And which former contestant and/or contestants, might make an appearance today? Find out on today's brand new episode, of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! It's going to get HOT, AND COLD!!!!” /

Instead of the normal show open; in purposefully grainy, scratchy visual quality, in shades of reds and blacks, the contestants are running around, trying to avoid the sharp ice formations forming around them, except for Fee and Rico, who ENJOY the pandemonium like CRAZY people, all to the tune of The Beatles' hit song, “Helter Skelter!” / Paul McCartney sings: “When I get to the bottom, I go back to the top of the slide. Where I stop, and I turn, and I go for a ride. Till I get to the bottom, and I see you again! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Do you, don't you want me to love you?! (La, la, la, la, la, la, la la) I'm coming down fast, but I'm miles above you! (La, la, la, la, la, la, la la) Tell me, tell me, tell me, come on, tell me the answer! Well, you may be a lover but you ain't no dancer! (La, la, la, la, la, la, la la) Helter skelter, helter skelter. Helter skelter, yeah! Whoo-hoo! Will you, won't you want me to make you? (Ahhh!) I'm coming down fast but don't let me break you! (Ahhh!) Tell me, tell me, tell me the answer. You may be a lover, but you ain't no dancer! Look out! Helter skelter, helter skelter. Helter skelter. Look out, Helter skelter, 'cause here she comes. Ha! (Guitar solo) When I get to the bottom, I go back to the top of the slide, and I stop and I turn and I go for a ride, and I get to the bottom, and I see you again! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Well, do you, don't you want me to make you? I'm coming down fast, but don't let me break you! Tell me, tell me, tell me your answer! You may be a lover, but you ain't no, dancer! Look out! Helter skelter, helter skelter. Helter skelter. Look out, helter skelter! She's coming down fast! Yes, she is! Yes, she is! Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.” (Guitar solo, changes to a drum solo, while cacophonous noises go on in the background, and the scene turns to static for a brief second, only for the drums and the cacophony to come roaring back). Ringo shouts: “I got blisters on my fingers!” / And the epic song and intro ends. /

Melter Skelter!” For an unusual start to the show, it opens up in Blonda's FANCY private trailer, which is filled with ALL kinds of gold, ribbons, jewels, and various achievement awards that Blonda has received in Fairy World. In it, Blonda is in her pretty yellow bed robe, and dreaming. And thanks to the magic that she possesses, the audience is able to SEE inside her dream! She is apparently dreaming about BUBBLE Bass of all things, in a scene DIRECTLY inspired by “The Graduate!” In a sultry voice, Blonda asks: “Bubble Bass, would you come in here, please?” Bubble Bass says: “Yeah, sure, what do you...?” And he stops as he notices that Blonda is SEDUCTIVELY putting on a sequined see-through stocking on one of her legs that she has stretched out! Bubble Bass asks: “Are you TRYING to SEDUCE me?! Is THAT what you're TRYING to do?!” Blonda seductively asks: “Would you LIKE me to seduce YOU?! Is THAT what you're trying to do?” Bubble Bass asks: “Do you even KNOW what this dream is BASED on?! And what happens in the MOVIE this dream is based on?! Because it's over 50 years old, NOT protected by Spoiler statute limitations anymore, Mrs. Robinson DOESN'T get Dustin Hoffman's character in the movie!”

Blonda actually STOPS trying to be seductive, and says in her normal voice: “Now, COME on! Can't you at LEAST want me in my DREAM?! It's MY dream, can't you see I'm trying to dream? WORK with me, won't you?” Bubble Bass raises his eyebrow and asks: “Seriously? Why do you even WANT me?” Blonda says: “Well, it's not so much that I WANT you, it's just that after a vast LIFETIME of being an actress and granting the wishes of others, I have come to realize, that there is ONE thing Wanda has that I don't, and that is a child, and a husband of her own. Since I'm PRETTY sure that no one else will even give me the time of day, let alone, talk to me for as long as YOU have, I have made a decision, to try and get together with YOU!!!! Sounds like a pretty SWEET deal, doesn't it? Besides, don't you WANT a woman in your life?” Bubble Bass says: “While it's TRUE that I DO want a woman, I could NEVER love you!” Blonda asks: “How do YOU know?! You haven't even TRIED to be with ME yet!” Bubble Bass says: “Well, for starters, your tacky TASTE in dream references, to movies that MOST of our target audience is NOT going to get, least of all, the way you're TRYING to come on to me! Hard PASS!!!!” Blonda says: “But I could be so GOOD for you!” Bubble Bass rhetorically says: “GOOD for me?! You don't even know what I want!” Blonda asks: “Do YOU?!!!” Bubble Bass gets an anime sweat-drop on the back of his head, and he says: “Honestly, no.” Blonda says: “So, how do you KNOW that you and I aren't compatible?” Bubble Bass says: “I can't DATE someone I just MET!!!! Haven't you ever seen Frozen?! Besides, you're NOT even my same SPECIES!!!!” Blonda says: “Well, that's an easy thing for me to change! I DO have a Magic Wand, you know! Just say the word, and I can change into the fish of YOUR dreams!” Bubble Bass says: “I highly doubt THAT, but what IS that dream?” Blonda says: “Well, that all depends.” Bubble Bass asks: “On what?” Blonda answers: “On you. What would YOU like to see? I can't exactly see into YOUR dreams unless you give me permission to.” Bubble Bass says: “Well, I'm not comfortable with THAT; but I will give you a CHANCE to prove yourself to me!” Blonda asks: “Now WHY do I have to prove MYSELF to you?”

Bubble Bass says: “Because, I know EXACTLY the type of woman you are! You are a shallow, vain, hollow, superficial woman who places looks SOLELY above everything else, and the only reason you TRULY want me, is just to BRAG to everyone else that you were able to make out with me than DUMP me at your first convenience! I've WATCHED X2: X-Men United, and I know BETTER than to fall in love with ANY woman, especially ONE who is 'interested' in me! Turn into a fish that's NOT physically attractive, and if you DO get a kid, you will NOT be able to transform BACK into your attractive self until you have it! That way, I will know for SURE that you're not just trying to USE me for some sick, twisted game of yours!” Blonda is taken aback, and she says: “I am HONESTLY stunned! You actually DO have some knowledge of social behavior of how people act! I didn't think YOU had it in you! Nobody else has EVER confronted me about the way I behave before! It's actually pretty bold! All right! Let's see if THIS trick impresses you!” And Blonda waves her wand, and she transforms herself into a pudgy, purple fish woman with blonde hair, wearing a large red dress with flowers on it, and purple shoes. In her same voice, Blonda says: “I trust this is to your liking?” Bubble Bass says: “Well, at least people will now ACTUALLY believe that you would want to be with me.” Blonda says: “Turn off the lights. We DON'T need people actually SEEING what we're about to do!” Bubble Bass says: “Fair enough.” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “So, what is the MAJOR reason why I decided to humor Blonda? A simple reason, actually. People might be able to FORGET some fat fish who competed in a reality show, but when you do something as impressive as making out with a HOT fairy woman, who turned herself into a big, purple fish lady just for YOU, than the whole world can't POSSIBLY ignore you! Or else, they'd have to be pretty hard-pressed to try to ignore you! Blonda says that I don't need to show any commitment to her if she strikes it lucky, but I'm not THAT type of guy! I wouldn't run away from her should she be saddled with the responsibility of a child. One thing I know for SURE is, I will NEVER turn out like my father and just run away!” (End Confessional)

In the luxurious hotel the Power Pandas are sleeping in, Theodore has already woken up and wearing his normal clothes, and knocks on the hotel room door, of the room that Danny is sleeping in. In Rodney Dangerfield's voice, Danny says: “Now who in their right mind would wake me up at THIS early hour in the morning?!” Than Danny clears his voice, and in his normal voice, he says: “I mean, who is it?” Theodore says: “Um, it's me. Theodore Seville. I was wondering if I could come in.” Danny thinks about it, and he says: “That depends. Did you just have a nightmare?” Theodore says: “No. I wouldn't bother you about something as trivial as that. I want to talk about Brittany, among other things, if that's all right with you.” Danny sighs, and says: “Fine.” Danny gets up, and opens the door, showing Theodore that he's wearing a pair of blue pajamas. Theodore says: “Um, could you turn the light in your room on? It looks like a ghost house in there!” Danny jerks, and mutters under his breath in Marlon Brando's voice: “Boy, if I had a dollar for every time I heard THAT one...” Theodore asks: “What was that?” Danny assumes his normal voice, and says: “Just talking to myself. I'll turn the light on.” Danny does so, and Theodore comes inside Danny's room. Danny says: “All right, talk away.” Theodore says: “Well, the thing is, I always thought that Brittany Miller would last for a very long time in this competition. Far longer than ME, I might add, so I thought I would have plenty of time to tell her how much I loved her. But now she's GONE!!!! And only two challenges in, at that! If SHE could get booted off SO easily, what chance does that leave ME?!” Danny kind of scoffs as if he can't BELIEVE what Theodore is saying, but Danny clears his throat, and says: “Come ON, Theodore! She was ON the other team! We had absolutely no control over how the OTHER team was going to vote! Besides, if what Po told us was true, than if Tigress WANTS somebody to be gone, than they are GONE, simple as that!”

Theodore thinks about it, and he says: “True. Fair enough, but with the Killer Prawn's DOWN two players, they are going to try exceptionally HARD to win THIS upcoming challenge! I don't think Tigress is going to let us win a THIRD challenge, without her winning one for HER team first; we need a plan to keep ourselves safe in the very likely event that our team DOES lose! I mean, statistically speaking, we MIGHT be the two lowest players within the social status that IS the Power Panda's!” Danny says: “Now that you mention it, any plan we can get to keep OURSELVES safe would be a great benefit to us! What would YOU suggest?!” Theodore says: “Well, out of all the contestants on our team, it seems to me that RICO is the most mentally unstable and unreliable! I mean, Kowalski MAY have control over him for now, but I doubt Kowalski will be able to keep Rico's behavior in check forever! Rico doesn't have any REAL loyalty to ANYBODY except for his fellow penguin commandos! And that's on a GOOD day! If we want to keep ourselves safe, than what WE need to do is give Rico a little push, to go over the emotional edge! He will do something reckless and stupid as a result! When our fellow team-mates see Rico lose it, they will lose their faith in him, and vote him out! Even if we just get Jenny and Po to vote with us, that would be enough to send Rico packing, than Kowalski and Private would have to play ball WITH us, instead of trying to control the way our team is run!” Danny thinks about it, and he says: “Wow, Theodore, that's a really well-thought out, and well-reasoned plan!” Theodore says: “Well, you don't live with a smart brother like Simon Seville for 18 years and NOT pick up on some of the smart strategies that they use!” (Confessional) Theodore says: “Okay, maybe my 'Alvin Seville' is showing a little bit, but I just want to keep myself safe as long as possible. My plan on going under the radar and than making an ally with Brittany after the team merge has fallen through, so I need to make this back-up plan! If I plan on making it all the way until the team merge, than I need to do it for HER...Brittany, that is!” / Danny says: “While Theodore's plan is not necessarily a SAFE one, he does make a valid point! We can't have a solid block of three penguins always VOTING together! If we want to take control of the game, we need to do it now, while we STILL have a chance to!” (End Confessional)

Suddenly, everyone is surprised to hear the loud, unmistakable guitar playing of Jimi Hendrix, as the sound of the live, guitar playing of “The Star Spangle Banner” plays over the loud-speakers! Tigress says: “Now THAT'S what I call a wake-up call! It's time for action! And time for ME, to take back control of the game!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “The two contestants that got eliminated? They were holding us back, anyways! Now that the dead weight is gone, we will be lighter, faster, swifter, stronger, and Po will NOT be able to stop us this time! My claws are registered as lethal weapons! If I accidentally kill somebody with my hands, I could go to jail!” Katarra pops in, and she says: “If anybody accidentally kills ANYBODY, they would go to jail! It's called MANSLAUGHTER, Tigress!” Tigress looks genuinely shocked, and she says: “I'm SURPRISED that you even KNOW that movie reference, given how relatively recent it is as of 2019!” (End Confessional) The contestants all run out to the obstacle course located behind the cabins and the motel, only to gasp in amazement at the two INCREDIBLE fort-sized snow forts, one on both side of the snow-covered field! Sniz says: “Welcome, contestants! Welcome, to your next fun-filled challenge!” Fee says: “Wow! This is amazing! How is this even possible?!” Sniz says: “Blonda GRACIOUSLY decided to let us use her SAFER magic for this challenge, rather than rely on the DUBIOUS magic of the Anti-Fairies! Speaking of, where IS Blonda, anyways? She's supposed to be COACHING this challenge!” General Barracuda comes walking forward, with a piece of paper in his fins, and he says: “I can answer that! I just received this note from Blonda!” Sniz says: “A NOTE?!” Sniz reads aloud, and he quotes: “'To Whom It May Concern, I currently find myself unable to do anymore coaching for this show, as I now find myself incapacitated, and indisposed, due to the fact that I now must take maternity leave for the next nine months. For more details, ask Bubble Bass. Sincerely, Blonda'?! Bubble Bass, did YOU make out with Blonda?!” Bubble Bass gets an Anime sweat-drop, and he says: “Well, yes. But in the first place, it was NOT against the rules to make out with her in the FIRST place! And besides, I have a SECOND good reason as to why I made out with her!” Johnny Krill asks: “Oh, and what reason is that?” Bubble Bass shrugs, and he says: “She LET me!” (Confessional)

Johnny Krill says: “You know, come to think of it, I now do SEE why Blonda would want Bubble Bass to make out with her! I'd say WHAT it is, but standards won't let me on this PG-rated show!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “Dang! Now we need to FIND ourselves a temporary NEW coach to fill in until Blonda can come back!” Fondue says: “I already prepared for such a possibility, with the former contestants that I scheduled to come in today! They were originally just going to DEMO the challenge, but I think they'll agree to coach for the time-being!” Sniz says: “Awesome job, Fondue! I KNEW there was a reason the executives wanted to keep you on for this season! Who ARE the former contestants?!” Fondue says: “You're going to LOVE this! They are TWO of the greatest former contestants to make their debut in season two, please welcome back, Marlene and Dog!!!!” And off of a fancy boat, Marlene and Dog both walk down, to confetti and loud applause! Marlene says: “You LIKE me! You REALLY like me!” Po says: “Of course we like you! I don't think there was any indication that we didn't!” Dog says: “It sure is GREAT to be back HERE! Well, I mean, back on THIS show! It will be GREAT, even if we're just going to be COACHING this season!” Sniz says: “Yeah, about that. Our show only has the budget to hire ONE permanent new coach for this season! So, to determine which ONE of you will become the brand new coach for this season, you will be drafted as coaches for the different teams. And whichever team wins the challenge for THEIR coach, that coach will become the NEW coach for the rest of this season! Pretty awesome, huh?!” Tigress says: “Oh, yeah! I DEFINITELY want Marlene to be the new coach!” Sniz says: “We'll decide the outcome with a coin-toss! Marlene, you make the call! If you're right, you get to pick first! If you're wrong, Dog gets to pick first!” Marlene says: “Heads!” General Barracuda flips a quarter, and it lands TAILS side up! Marlene says: “Rats! Tails!”

Sniz says: “Dog, which team do you want?” Dog says: “That's easy, the BEST team! The Power Pandas!” Sniz says: “That means the Killer Prawns get Marlene! Coaches, go to your new teams!” Marlene begrudgingly goes to the Killer Prawns, and Tigress says: “Don't worry, Marlene, I won't let YOU down! Those Power Pandas are CRAZY if they think they can win THIS challenge!” Po says: “If our team is SO crazy, than how have we been able to beat YOUR team in the past two challenges?” Tigress says: “I hope you don't expect me to dignify that with an actual response!” Dog says: “Sheesh! And I thought that my brother Cat, had problems!” (Confessional) Dog says: “Sure, Cat may have had some days where he got mean, but at least he had good social skills! Tigress doesn't even seem to BOTHER with them, most of the time!” / Marlene says: “I NEED this job, okay?! There are four otter-penguin hybrid pups at home that need to be taken care of, and since I can't count on Maurice to be able to control them forever, I'm going to get this job so I can hire a full-time nanny or something, that will help take the work load off of me! And maybe she'll even sing and dance like Julie Andrews or Emily Blunt if I'm lucky!” / Tigress says: “Po might have been able to exploit the weak links within MY team the past two challenges! But now, MY team has no weak links left! Therefore, the Power Pandas will NEVER be able to stop MY team, now that it is at FULL strength! And if I want to get to the King of THEIR team, I must first go through the pawns! Since Rico is the most psychotic and unstable, I think I'll target HIM first! It will make MY game a whole lot easier if I don't have to worry about such random, unpredictable variables!” (End Confessional)

Sniz says: “Now, here is how the challenge will work. Both teams will be situated in their snow fort, and fire off snowballs at each other. Your snowballs have been coated with Blonda's Fairy Magic, to correspond with your respective Team's, emblem color. Green for the Power Pandas, and Red for the Killer Prawns. Now, while the team's are playing off against each other, you must send out some of your own, to capture the flag located within the other team's fort, and bring it back to your own fort, in order to achieve victory! If you are HIT with a snowball from the other team, the color will STICK to you, and it WON'T come off unless you go back to your fort, which has a special heat lamp designed to melt that snow, and ONLY that snow, so that you can 'Recover', and go back to fighting. So, whoever manages to capture the other team's flag for their team WITHOUT getting hit, will achieve victory for their team! Power Pandas, since you have two extra contestants, you'll have to sit two of your own out.”

Jenny says: “I have to sit this one out. Since snow is made of water, it could cause me to rust, which would make it REALLY problematic for me to function. You understand, right, Po?” Po says: “Of course. I don't hold it against you.” Danny says: “And I think that I'll sit this one out to. I want to give Theodore a chance to shine.” Theodore shockingly asks: “Excuse me?!” Danny says: “Hey, I helped win the challenge in the LAST episode! You need to step up to the plate and prove that YOU deserve to be here as much as me!” Theodore sighs, and says: “Okay, I'll do it. But I won't LIKE it!” And this causes Bubble Bass to roll his eyes in disgust! (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “And here I thought that I was lazy! At least I'm actually TRYING to do these physical challenges, even if I don't like doing them! If Theodore doesn't start showing more initiative, he may find himself going home sooner, rather, than later.” / Theodore sighs, and says: “The things that I'm willing to put myself through, for my own team! I will NEVER complain about those LONG recording sessions with my brothers EVER again!” / Jenny says: “I guess I'm pretty lucky to have winded up on Po's team. I don't think Tigress would have ever taken a 'No', for an answer, even IF it was coming from me! Still, I highly doubt her punches would work against me, being made of Titanium and everything!” / Tigress says: “I wouldn't waste MY time trying to hit Jenny! Not just because I can't physically HURT her, with Jenny BEING a Robot, but because it's against my principle to hurt a fellow female who isn't evil, if I don't HAVE to! Besides, I want to conserve THAT kind of energy, for a later, more difficult challenge! Foresight, that's why I WILL win in the end!” (End Confessional)

Sniz says: “We need a proper song to start off this challenge right! Fondue, what's the word from Disney?” Fondue says: “They STILL say they won't let us USE any songs from that 'Chilly' animated movie that they made in 2013 unless we pay them $80 million for it!” Sniz says: “$80 million for ONE song?! PLEASE!!!! We can use that one Annie Lennox song, and SAVE ourselves $78 million! Jenny, since you're not participating in this challenge anyways, why don't YOU provide us with that song?” Jenny says: “Well, I DO have over 10,000 songs belonging to 300 different musical acts in my personal data-banks! I have the song you're looking for! Will Cold, performed by Annie Lennox do?” Sniz says: “Yes, that will do just fine.” Jenny produces speakers from the side of her body, and begins playing Cold, as sung by Annie Lennox. During the song sequence, participating contestants from both sides, begin throwing their color-coated snowballs at each other, while Bubble Bass, Johnny Krill, Kowalski, Private, and Theodore all try various attempts to sneak to their opposite teams' fort, but to no avail.

Annie Lennox sings: “Come to me, run to me, do and be done with me. Cold, cold, cold. Don't I exist for you? Don't I still live for you? Cold, cold, cold. Everything I possess, given with tenderness, wrapped in a ribbon of glass. Time it may take us, but God only knows, how I've paid for those things in the past. Dying is easy, it's living that scares me to death. Ooh, yeah. I could be so content, hearing the sound of your breath. Ooh, yeah. Cold is the color of crystal, the snow light that falls from the heavenly skies. Catch me, and let me dive under, for I want to swim in the pools of your eyes. I want to be with you baby! Oh, slip me inside of your heart! Don't I belong to you baby? And don't you know that nothing can tear us apart?! Come on now, come on now, come on now; I'm telling you that I loved you right from the start! But the more I want you, the less I get. Ain't that just the way things are? Ooh, yeah. (Instrumental break) Winter has frozen us, let love take hold of us. (Cold, cold, cold). Now we are shivering, blue ice is glittering. (Cold, cold, cold). Cold, is the color of crystal, the snow light that falls from the heavenly skies. Catch me, and let me dive under, for I want to swim in the pools of your eyes. Don't you know it?! Cold, cold. Cold, cold, cold! Cold, cold, cold! Ooh, ooh, yeah!” And the epic song ends. / Sniz says: “Wow! A whole song down, and it is STILL an even match! We have to take a break now, but be sure to come back for the COOL second act of this episode, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!” / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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WOW!!!! It actually didn't TAKE me a month or more to write the second and final part of THIS episode! Here is the rest of "Melter Skelter!" I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it! /

Sniz is standing a safe distance away from the Snow Forts, and he says: “Welcome back to the action in progress on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! We are currently at a standstill in terms of progress, but lets check in on the Killer Prawns, and their coach, who are currently discussing strategies, in terms of how to potentially win this challenge!” /

The camera shifts to inside the Killer Prawns' Snow Fort, and Marlene says: “Guys, it is clear to me that it is time for ME to come up with a strategy for US to win, since Tigress' plan of, 'Just attack the other side like CRAZY'; isn't WORKING for us!” Tigress scoffs, and says: “I do NOT sound like THAT!!!!” Fee says: “You probably COULD if you TRIED hard enough!” Johnny Krill asks: “Well, why don't we get Katarra to lay some of her water-bending skills on the other team?” Katarra says: “I don't wish to get heavily involved in such a matter.” Tigress asks: “Oh, really? And why is that?” Katarra says: “I prefer using words as opposed to just blindly solving my problems with my fists, and I don't wish to be involved in more wars than I have to be. I have already been involved with helping to stop the Fire Lord Ozai, and I wish to refrain from having to fight as heavily as I did back then, at least for the next sixty years!” Marlene says: “Well, my plan doesn't involve YOU anyways, Katarra! The answer is obvious! If we want to get that flag, we're going to need something BIG and unexpected, that the Power Pandas can't POSSIBLY prepare for!” Fee says: “Oh, I know! LETS get Bubble Bass NAKED!!!!” Marlene and Bubble Bass both roll their eyes, and simultaneously say together: “Fee, we are NOT that DESPERATE for ATTENTION!!!!” Bubble Bass clears his throat, and he says: “Sorry, Marlene, totally didn't plan for that!” Marlene says: “Understood. And Fee, such an act would be completely EXPECTED and derivative. I will be more creative than that!”

Johnny Krill says: “Let's hope so! Your potential job is at stake!” Marlene says: “Your task is to get the other teams flag! All that matters is that you get it! Fortunately, I had the foresight to watch the two episode challenges you guys have already been in, so I KNOW of the big weakness, that will keep the Power Pandas busy!” Katarra closes her eyes, and says: “It involves Rico, doesn't it?” Marlene sputters, and she says: “Don't be a living SPOILER alert, Katarra! Our audience wants more suspense than THAT!” Katarra says: “It's not MY fault I'm THAT clairvoyant!” Marlene says: “You know, you COULD give it a shot and, PRETEND to NOT know everything!” Katarra asks: “And be like Stephanie Meyer? No, thanks! I prefer to give MY fans something GOOD! They expect nothing less from me!” Tigress says: “You know, I find it hard to believe that I CAN'T actually argue with that!” Johnny Krill says: “Me, to!” (Confessional) Marlene says: “You know, I can see WHY Katarra is Aang's girlfriend! She's as headstrong and as stubborn as HE was! The only thing that's better about HER than Aang is, I don't actually have to COMPETE as a contestant, against HER!” / Tigress says: “Katarra said something that I can't actually ARGUE against! And for me, that means trouble! If she is able to say something that I can't DISPROVE of, it COULD prove to be problematic for me in a future challenge! After all, I'm SUPPOSED to be the ultimate AUTHORITY of my team! Nobody gets the last word over ME! If Katarra doesn't watch herself, SHE may just find herself to be the next boot out of MY team!” / Bubble Bass says: “Katarra certainly is smart, I will give her that. However, she doesn't seem to be able to tell just when and where revealing her given intelligence at any one time, might be a good or a bad thing, depending on the situation at hand. And THAT, is where I have an advantage over her. I know better than to speak out of turn against Tigress, and that's why I will be able to keep myself out of Tigress' personal hit list, and get myself to the Final Five! Foresight, that's the way I see myself winning THIS game!” / Fee says: “I was just trying to be funny! It's not MY fault nobody gets MY sense of humor!” (End Confessional)

Marlene takes out a small, brown pouch, opens it, and reveals something red and SPICY!!!! Johnny Krill says: “Wow! What's that?!” Marlene says: “They're a brand new cross breed between Habanero and Ghost Peppers, developed by Lil Deville herself! In fact, they are supposed to be SO dangerous, you can't even BUY these unless you live in Russia!” Fee says: “What are you gonna do with those?” Marlene says: “You mean, what is BUBBLE BASS gonna do with those?!” Bubble Bass scoffs, and asks: “Wait! Why ME?!” Marlene says: “The Power Pandas are automatically going to know SOMETHING is up if Tigress just tries to walk over there!”

Katarra says: “Marlene has a point. Tigress IS too conspicuous! Bubble Bass has a MUCH better chance at succeeding, lucky YOU!!!!” Bubble Bass sarcastically says: “Yeah, lucky me.” Marlene seals the brown pouch, and gives it to Bubble Bass. Marlene says: “Now, when you get over to the other fort, feed these to Rico! Since he can't CONTROL the fiery explosiveness of peppers, he'll get red hot and spew red hot flames, melting the other teams' arsenal! Which will make it easy to keep the Power Pandas at bay, and for Bubble Bass to steal their flag!” Johnny Krill says: “The only question is, HOW is Bubble Bass going to GET to the other Snow Fort in the FIRST place?” Marlene says: “Well, we ARE going to need SOME kind of distraction!” Tigress says: “OR, I COULD just THROW him there! After all, throwing a fish is like throwing a sword, and throwing your sword always works!” Fee asks: “THAT'S your PLAN?!!!” Tigress says: “Maybe you didn't HEAR me, young child. I SAID...” She grabs Bubble Bass, picks him up with GREAT ease, despite his weight, gauges the distance to the other fort, and Tigress shouts: “THROWING, YOUR, SWORD, ALWAYS, WORKS!!!!” And launching Bubble Bass like a rocket, she SUCCESSFULLY aims Bubble Bass RIGHT into the MIDDLE of the Power Pandas Snow Fort! The Power Pandas suddenly JERK up in a flash, and Po asks: “What was THAT?! Rico, you go check on it!” Rico raises his flipper and says: “Bleh!” As if to say: “I'm on it!” Danny Fenton jerks into being Rodney Dangerfield, and he says: “It sounded like the asteroid that took out the dinosaurs, or Titan A.E., which ruined Don Bluth's directing career!”

Danny Fenton jerks into being Bette Davis, and he says: “All I know is, if I had been around to lend my voice to that movie, I KNOW it would have done better, REALLY it would have!” Rico looks around, and he spots Bubble Bass, but Bubble Bass quickly covers Rico's mouth, and Bubble Bass quietly says: “Don't say anything! I'll give you these delicious, spicy peppers, if you look the other way. You LIKE, delicious spicy peppers, don't you?!!!” Rico gets a CRAZED look in his eyes, and he says, even SUBTITLED, it says: “BREWITHEDGOTALIBSTURGLE?!!!” And Rico GRABS all the spicy peppers from Bubble Bass, and DEVOURS them all in one gulp! But it doesn't take LONG at all, for the PURE heat within the peppers, to affect Rico's body, and in a painful cry, he yells: “BLEH!!!!!!!!! And Rico starts running around, with his beak WIDE open, and with the flames emitting from his mouth, STARTS burning all the snow within the Power Pandas' Snow Fort, including the Snow Fort ITSELF!!!! Theodore says: “Rico has gone CRAZY!!!! What on Earth is the matter with him?!” Kowalski says: “Someone must have fed Rico hot, spicy peppers again! He loves the taste of them, but he can't HANDLE the sheer, spicy power within the peppers!” Private says: “You've got to stop him! He will ruin our chances for winning this challenge!” Kowalski says: “You mean WE'VE got to stop him!” Private asks: “Are you SERIOUS?!” Kowalski says: “You want to be an elite penguin spy, one day? Well, than it's time you learned a hard truth. Sometimes, you have to stop a fellow comrade, for their own good. It's never easy, but it's the right thing to do!” Private sighs, and says: “Well, if you say so.” (Confessional)

Private says: “I just think that there's got to be SOME alternative to having to restrain Rico! I mean, sure we've had some difficult times in the past, but we've always found a way to handle things, without resorting to brute force! All I know is, I did NOT sign up for hurting a fellow penguin, no matter WHAT the circumstances are!” / Kowalski says: “The problem with dealing with an unknown variable, is simply the fact that you can NEVER predict what they are going to do, or how they're going to behave! Most of the time, Rico is INDEED valuable to have; but throw in hot, spicy peppers, or something like that, than ALL bets are off! And if we don't get a handle on him, it could result in his elimination, which could put both Private and me, in a VERY tough spot!” (End Confessional) Kowalski and Private run after Rico, but Rico's speed is MUCH too fast for him! Kowalski says: “Rico, you've got to calm down!” Private says: “Listen to Kowalski, you've got to calm down!” Po asks: “Do you guys need any help?!” Kowalski says: “The thought had crossed my mind!” Po says: “Come on, Dog, and Danny! We've got to help him!” Dog says: “Keep an eye on the other team, Theodore! They might TRY to take advantage of this whole situation!” Theodore nervously says: “Okay, if you say so!”

Bubble Bass says: “Everyone is completely distracted! Now's my chance! And, as fast as he can, Bubble Bass runs up the snow steps of the snow tower, which hasn't been melted by Rico yet! Everyone else EXCEPT Theodore, is struggling to keep Rico still, and Po says: “Why won't Rico, just hold STILL?!!!” Kowalski says: “Rico never WAS much for thinking rationally!” Theodore looks around, glances towards the snow tower, than back, than he quickly glances back when he sees Bubble Bass taking DOWN the flag, from the Snow Tower, and Theodore nervously says: “Guys?” Danny says: “Not now, Theodore!” Theodore says louder: “GUYS?!!!” Dog says: “Theodore, we're BUSY!!!!” Theodore practically screams, and he yells: “GUYS!!!!” Kowalski stuffs some SNOW into Rico's beak, calming him down, and everyone else finally turns around and shouts: “WHAT?!!!” But they all receive their answer when Bubble Bass quickly jumps down, and lands in the snow with the flag of the Power Pandas, and Theodore groans, and he weakly says: “Bubble Bass HAS our flag!” Bubble Bass says: “And from where I stand, you are ALL out of AMMO!” Jenny gazes in horror, and she says: “He's RIGHT! All our snow ammo has been melted!” Bubble Bass says: “Well, this has been a LOVELY day but, I've got a challenge to win!” And Bubble Bass starts running BACK to his snow fort, and Po shouts: “Someone STOP him!” Danny JERKS into being Rodney Dangerfield, GRABS Private, and Private asks: “What are you doing?!”

Danny, imitating Rodney Dangerfield, says: “You're a bird, so FLY, bird, FLY!!!!” But Danny THROWS too high, WAY over Bubble Bass AND over the Killer Prawns' Snow Fort, and Private heads toward a forest, which has a sign that says: “Home to the Rare, Lake Michigan Porcupines, SHARPEST Porcupines In the World!” Private says: “NOT Porcupines AGAIN!!!!” And Private disappears into the forest, and he loudly screams: “OW!!!! OW!!!! OW!!!! OW!!!! OW!!!!” (Confessional) Private is now in a body cast, covered with porcupine needles, and he says: “On the bright side, the porcupines were STILL very apologetic!” (End Confessional) Danny grabs Kowalski, and Danny says: “Fly bird, FLY!!!!” And although Danny throws BETTER with Kowalski, Danny STILL doesn't aim low enough, and Kowalski heads towards the forest and Theodore says: “WATCH OUT FOR THAT...!!!!” (BANG!!!!) Theodore weakly says: “Tree.” Kowalski wearily walks back into the snow fort, and Po asks: “Are you all right?” But Kowalski is CLEARLY out of it, and he says: “Don't be ridiculous! I'm just as juxtaposed as the next flippety gibbet!” Danny says: “Your turn, squirrel!” Theodore says: “But I'm a Chip...!” Danny THROWS Theodore and Theodore screams: “MUNK!!!!” And Theodore lands RIGHT in the middle of the fort by the Killer Prawns, and is staring RIGHT at a VERY angry Tigress, and she says: “WELL?!!!” Theodore smiles, giggles nervously, and he sincerely says: “I'm sorry. I'll just, see myself out!” And Theodore runs RIGHT past Bubble Bass without even making an ATTEMPT at getting their flag back! Danny jerks BACK into being normal, and he says: “That was your CHANCE to be a hero! Why didn't you take THEIR flag! Or better yet, get OUR flag back?!” Theodore says: “Well, I PANICKED, okay?! It's not easy to THINK straight when you've got 160 pounds of pure TIGRESS muscle looking at you!”

Fee says: “We're actually going to win this!” Jenny says: “Not if I have anything to say about it!” Jenny produces a vacuum, and inhales the REMAINDER of the Power Pandas snow, and she aims toward Bubble Bass, and says: “I'll get YOU anyways, chubby!” Marlene says: “Bubble Bass! THROW the flag, NOW!!!!” Bubble Bass looks back and SEES Jenny hovering, and, in slow-motion, throws the flag!!!! Jenny releases a GIANT green snowball, it heads towards Bubble Bass, Johnny jumps up and GRABS the flag, jumps back DOWN into the Killer Prawns' Snow Fort, and Po slowly shouts: “NO!!!!” As the Green snowball POINTLESSLY hits Bubble Bass, and the action resumes normal speed, and Johnny shouts: “We got the flag, we got the flag, we got THE flag!!!!” Sniz says: “And it's over, it's ALL over! It was an unorthodox method, but the Killer Prawns have finally done it! They have won their FIRST challenge!”

Tigress says: “YES!!!! In your FACE, Po!!!!” Fee goes to Bubble Bass, and she says: “Wow; I was REALLY impressed by your bravery, Bubble Bass! Way to take one for the team!” Bubble Bass gets up, and shivers, as he says: “W-well, y-you kn-know m-me! A-Always, h-happy t-to h-help!” Tigress says: “Katarra, run a bath of hot water for Bubble Bass and warm him back up!” Katarra grabs Bubble Bass, and she says: “I'm on it!” And Katarra takes Bubble Bass to the fancy hotel! Tigress says: “In the meantime, it's time for the Killer Prawns to move their belongings to the fancy hotel!” Sniz says: “She's right, Power Pandas! With victory by the Killer Prawns, your stuff will be moved into the cabins for the time being. And Marlene, welcome to being a full time PAID coach on our joyful staff of employees!” Marlene says: “WHOO-HOO!!!! I'm BACK, fellows! I KNEW you couldn't stand to be without me!” Sniz turns toward the Power Pandas, and Sniz says: “Power Pandas, what can I say? You had a good run, but nothing lasts forever. Get yourselves cleaned up, and prepare for tonight, when you have to face your first Elimination Ceremony as a team, where you will have to vote off, one of your own!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass is drinking some hot cocoa, and he says: “On the one hand, I could have LIVED without getting hit by a giant snowball. But if it means, getting to drink hot cocoa, taking nice, warm, PRIVATE baths, and getting to sleep on a COMFORTABLE bed, with all my jewels, than I guess it's worth the little discomfort I had to face to get it. Plus, Tigress is now happy, so I guess she thinks I'm a hero, now!” /

Marlene is now dressed up in a coaches outfit, and she says: “Well, looks like things worked out my way after all! The determination by the Killer Prawns has really helped me out, and now I'll be here full time! Or, at least until Blonda comes back. Either way, I'll enjoy the ride while I can!” / Johnny Krill says: “We sure are lucky Marlene decided to be on OUR side! We would've been in BIG trouble if she wound up with the Power Pandas!” / Private and Danny are together, and Danny is BUSY picking out the porcupine quills embedded within Private! Private says: “OUCH!!!! All in all, today really wasn't our day when it came to challenges! Danny jerks into being Rodney Dangerfield, and he says: “You can say THAT again!” Private says: “I could, but I won't! OUCH!!!! In any case, it is very clear to me that despite being good to us in most normal cases, Rico clearly can't be relied on to be a team player! We may have to vote him out, if we want to make SURE that WE stay safe for the time being!” Danny jerks into being Marlon Brando, and he says: “I quite agree with you. It's time for the bum to go home.” / Kowalski and Jenny are together, and Kowalski wearily says: “It's time for Rico to take the Flying Express.” Jenny says: “I think what you mean to say is, Rico was the CAUSE of all our troubles today, so we NEED to eliminate him, if we want to AVOID any such problems in the future!” Kowalski says: “You're darn tootin'!” / Po says: “I feel really bad about this! I truly do! But Rico HAS to go, for the good of everyone else on our team! We can't afford another freak-out like the one he had today! As the team leader of the Power Pandas, I HAVE to make tough choices like these! It's not easy, but it MUST be done!” / Theodore says: “I know I should feel ashamed. If I had been a better player, we might not have lost today! But I KNOW that I can do BETTER than this! I WON'T let my team down again! So, if I just vote off Rico, I can save myself, and become a better player for my team! I know it might seem a bit too 'Alvin' for my tastes, but I have to prove myself to Brittany, and to my brothers! I have to show everyone what I'm made of!” / Rico weakly says: “Bleh, bleh, bleh!” As if to say: “I've got nothing!” (End Confessional)

It is night-time, and the Power Pandas are all fixed up, cleaned up, and at the Bonfire Ceremony. Sniz says: “Contestants for the Power Pandas team, welcome to your first Elimination Ceremony as contestants. The Killer Prawns are already familiar with how this works, but since this is YOUR first time here, I'll explain the rules to you as well. Just like in the first season of our show, you will vote for a contestant to be voted off. If you are safe, you will receive a normal marshmallow. But NOT like our first season, if you are eliminated, you will be given a potentially hazardous Anti-Fairy purple marshmallow, that causes random effects to whatever it touches. Since the Anti-Fairy marshmallow is completely unpredictable, I'd recommend AGAINST touching it, if you want to stay safe! Now, go into the Confessional, choose a playing card, and mark the face of the contestant, that you want voted off! A simple X is all it takes! So, let's get--!!” A familiar female voice says: “Yoo-hoo! I'm back!” General Barracuda groans, and says: “Not HER, again!!!!” And Brittany Miller, riding a hang-glider, swoops down in on the proceedings, and lands a very PERFECT landing! Brittany takes off her pilot gear, and says: “I'm ready for my come-back!” Fondue says: “You know, in order to MAKE a come-back, you have to have actually been...I don't know! A CREDIBLE contestant to begin with!” Brittany says: “I'm not here for the money! Like I NEED it! I'm just here to get valuable screen-time, that could lead to a potential spin-off series starring YOURS truly!” Sniz says: “Look, when I say that someone is OUT, they are OUT!!!!” But Sniz then gets a cell phone call, and he says: “Excuse me!” Sniz answers the phone and he says: “Hello! Sniz Brokowski here!” Sniz listens, and he says: “Oh, Alvin Seville!” Sniz listens some more, and Sniz exclaims: “WHAT?!!! You're willing to pay HOW MUCH money if we let Brittany back on our show?! SERIOUSLY?!” Sniz listens some more, and he says: “All right, you got a deal, Alvin!” Brittany smiles, and she says: “Thank you, Alvin!” Sniz says: “All right! Brittany, as of right now, you are now back on our show, as an Intern!” Brittany yells: “An INTERN?!!!”

Than Brittany THINKS about it, and she asks: “I'm STILL going to get paid and get good screen-time, correct?” Sniz nods his head, and he says: “Especially if you do a good job.” Brittany simply shrugs her shoulders, and she says: “Eh, I can live with that. Better than nothing!” Sniz says: “It's settled than. Fondue, get Brittany oriented and up to speed. Power Pandas, choose a contestant that YOU want to eliminate, and VOTE!” (Confessional) Po chooses Rico's playing card, and he says: “Nothing personal, all right? I hope you can understand that!” / Theodore nervously, but firmly, chooses Rico's playing card, and he says: “Sorry, but it's either me or you!” / Rico angrily chooses Theodore's playing card, than he points to it with his flipper, makes a weird face, and says: “Bleh!” / Danny chooses Rico's playing card, and Danny says: “This is probably going to be the EASIEST Elimination Ceremony that our team EVER has to face! No hard choices to be made here!” / Jenny, with a serious face, chooses Rico's playing card, and she says: “Ally of the penguins or not, I have to vote you off. It's only logical!” / Private and Kowalski are together, and both are holding onto a playing card with Rico's playing card. Private nervously asks: “Kowalski, are you SURE we should DO this?!” Kowalski says: “It's the only chance WE have of making it to the Final Three! If we want to save the world, we have to save ourselves, first!” Private sighs and says: “Very well, then. But IF we do this, it will be OUR secret, forever!” Kowalski nods his head, and says: “Agreed!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “Voting is over, it's time to reveal who is safe, and who is eliminated! Here is who will receive the safe marshmallows! Po! Jenny! Danny! Private! Kowalski!” Theodore looks nervously at Rico, and Rico just looks angrily back at Theodore! Sniz says: “Contestants, there is ONE final safe marshmallow left, and the last safe marshmallow goes to, NOT Rico!!!!” Rico questioning asks: “Bleh?”

Than ducks to avoid the Anti-Fairy Marshmallow, as it hits a rock, and makes it EXPLODE upon contact! Jenny twitches nervously, and she says: “OOH! That would give even ME quite a boo-boo!” Private is stunned, and he says: “I don't understand! I thought your plan would work!” Sniz says: “Sorry to BURST your bubble, penguins, but a little ANTI-FAIRY, named Anti-Cosmo, told me of your plan!” Anti-Cosmo says: “I hate to break it to you, but if you thought you could pull the SAME stunt that Jimmy Neutron pulled in season one, and Snaptrap pulled in season three, you wasted your time! I am in charge of monitoring ALL the votes for this season, so I know EXACTLY who voted for WHOM, and who TRIED to alter the votes, to try to SAVE Rico!” Rico happily says: “Bleh?!” As if to says: “Really?!”

Private looks toward Rico, and Private says: “You're our MATE, Private! We could NEVER vote you off, no matter what anyone else thinks!” Sniz says: “And you KNOW that there's a RULE in place about contestants who TRY to break the rules!” Kowalski sighs, and says: “Sniz, I beg of you! Punish me if you must, but leave Private out of this! He TRIED to talk me out of it! He warned me that it was a bad idea! But I wouldn't listen! It was MY idea alone, to try to alter the votes! If there's a punishment, than I'll take it!” Sniz says: “So be it, then! Kowalski, YOU are automatically BARRED from participating from the next challenge! If your team loses it, you will probably find yourself JOINING Rico as an Eliminated Contestant!” Kowalski groans, and says: “Ooh, boy!” Sniz puts safety gear on Rico, and General Barracuda places all of Rico's bags with him, on the Giant Slingshot of Shame! Sniz says: “Any last words, to say, Rico?” Rico tries to think of something, but the Slingshot is activated, and Rico screams: “BLEH!!!!” General Barracuda smiles and says: “Couldn't have said it better myself!” Sniz says: “Three contestants down, and eleven contestants to go! The competition between the Power Pandas and the Killer Prawns is heating up! It is practically the guess of ANYONE, who might wind up being the winner of the next challenge! Find out which team it will be, on the next exciting episode, of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!” / Episode Notes: Featured Songs in this episode are “Helter Skelter” (referenced in the episode title as “Melter Skelter”), and “Cold”. Blonda leaves the show in this episode, due to making out with Bubble Bass, and becoming pregnant with a child, and stuck as a chubby fish for nine months.

Marlene becomes the NEW coach in Blonda's place, and it is revealed that Marlene is now the mother to four hybrid otter-penguin pups, that she had with Skipper. First challenge that the Power Pandas lost, and the first time that an ATTEMPT to rig the votes to SAVE someone, DIDN'T work as planned. Rico is eliminated as a contestant. Brittany Miller returns as an Intern. Contestants remaining: Bubble Bass (Killer Prawn); Danny Fenton (Power Panda); Fee (Killer Prawn); Jenny Wakeman (Power Panda); Johnny Krill (Killer Prawn); Katarra (Killer Prawn); Kowalski (Power Panda); Po (Power Panda); Private (Power Panda); Theodore Seville (Power Panda); Tigress (Killer Prawn). / Eliminated: #14, Bessie Higgenbottom (“The Mighty B!”). / #13: Brittany Miller (“Alvinnn!!!! And the Chipmunks”). #12, Rico (“The Penguins of Madagascar”). / Personal Notes: Sadly, Rico was always going to be the first of the Penguins to be eliminated this season. While his antics are certainly fun and entertaining to watch on the show where he originally came from, they don't translate well to a team-based setting, where team-work is essential. And a loose cannon like Rico, was always going to be a ROUGH fit with contestants who expect their fellow team-mates to keep a calm, reasonable demeanor, and not go crazy at the drop of a hat. That's why Rico HAD to take the fall in this episode! And also why, to make up for his loss, why I decided to add Marlene back into the show as the new coach! So even though we're losing a representative from that show as a contestant, we have a full-time representative from that show, back as a coach! And since I always LOVE being able to write for Marlene, you KNOW there's going to be a lot more golden opportunities to be had for her, and the remaining contestants! / That's it for my episode idea today! Enough said, true believers!

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Sorry for the schedule slippage! I'm finally ready with the first part of my newest episode for this series! I hope you enjoy it! / 

In an unusual twist, Marlene is standing on a pier overlooking the ocean, and she says: “Last time on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, the two teams and the remaining contestants, found themselves pitted head to head in an icy competition, in an all-out snowball fight in an unusually exciting game of Capture the Flag! Due to Blonda suddenly becoming indisposed for reasons that I don't feel comfortable repeating here, the prize for the team, was that a coach of THEIR choice, should they win, would become the NEW coach for the remainder of this season! Although I got picked by the Killer Prawns, I used MY knowledge of Rico's weakness to hot peppers, to give Bubble Bass and the other Killer Prawns the edge they needed, to FINALLY achieve a victory, and secure MY place as the new coach, for the remainder of this season! Unfortunately, what I could NOT anticipate, was that the other Power Pandas, with the exception of Skipper and Kowalski, would turn on Rico! They saw Rico's mental instability, and general lack of trustworthiness, as liabilities, and booted him from the game. While I do regret Rico's elimination, there will STILL be plenty of jungle thrills, sailing spills, and maybe some nautical chills, on a special, sea-faring, jungle exploring, and very exciting spectacle episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Nailed it!” / Instead of the usual show open, a highly stylized movie-type opening shows a bunch of the contestants running and slashing their way through an unfamiliar jungle, avoiding all the dangerous local wild-life located within, all to the tune of a hit Creedence Clearwater Revival song! /

John Fogerty sings: “Whoa, thought it was a nightmare! Lo, it's all so true. They told me, 'Don't go walking slow, 'cause Devil's on the loose.' Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Woah, don't look back to see. Thought I heard a rumbling, calling to my name. Two hundred million guns are loaded; Satan cries, 'Take aim!' Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Woah, don't look back to see. Over on the mountain, Thunder magic spoke; 'Let the people know my wisdom, fill the land with smoke.' Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Better run through the jungle. Woah, Don't look back to see.” And the hit song fades out into the opening show title. / “Surfing And/Or Safari!” /

The episode proper opens up, as the sun is rising on a bright, sunny day. In the fancy hotel, both Bubble Bass and Johnny Krill are relaxing face down on a massage bench, while heavy gorillas, Bada, and Bing, are taking out the various kinks and problems in their backs, by WALKING on the backs of Bubble Bass and Johnny Krill with all their might! Johnny Krill says: “You know, when Tigress said that this massage treatment would take away all the PAIN that I've ever endured during my history as an extreme sports daredevil, I thought she was CRAZY, but these certified gorilla masseuses are REALLY doing the TRICK!” Bubble Bass says: “This is how you KNOW Tigress is in a good mood! When she WANTS the two of us to enjoy a LUXURIOUS morning of pampering and quiet SERENITY!” Johnny Krill says: “Yeah. Now the TRICK, is, being able to KEEP Tigress in a GOOD mood!” Bubble Bass says: “It's not going to be THAT easy! Don't forget, Tigress has a hair TRIGGER temper, that could FIRE at any MOMENT, due to being on SUCH a short fuse, so for the LOVE of Neptune, PLEASE don't do and/or SAY anything stupid that could get YOU, or WORSE, ME, in trouble!” Johnny Krill says: “Ignoring that OBVIOUS jab at my intellectual skills, why don't we just take CARE of the problem now? Just ELIMINATE Tigress and ELIMINATE the guess work on how to keep her happy!” Bubble Bass suddenly gets up, but Anti-Cosmo casts a gust of wind to BLOW his towel off! Bubble Bass rolls his eyes and says: “Oh, REALLY mature, Anti-Cosmo, you blew my towel off. Don't you EVER get tired of being so PREDICTABLY irritating?!” Anti-Cosmo says: “It's only irritating to you, not to me. Besides, I'll STOP doing such thing when it STOPS being funny.” (Confessional) Anti-Cosmo says: “As in, NEVER!!!!”

(End Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “And Johnny Krill, are you out of your barnacle-filled mind?! You KNOW Tigress is our STRONGEST player, and our BEST chance of MAKING it to the Final Three! Without Tigress, our entire PLAN falls apart! And where would THAT leave us?!” And Bubble Bass suddenly hears both Bada, and Bing, wolf-whistle at Bubble Bass' nudity, and Bubble Bass says: “Why don't you take a picture?! It will last longer! Oh, wait; don't bother! We're being filmed!” And Bubble Bass grabs his towel and wraps it back around him! Johnny says: “Look, all I'm SAYING is, that we KNOW that we're going to have to cut Tigress out sooner or later. She may be our best bet for getting to the Final Three, but she would ALSO be able to absolutely DESTROY anybody who GETS to the Final Three with her! It's a double-edged sword! She's both an asset, and A liability! See where I'm coming from?” Bubble Bass says: “All I know is, Bulma got eliminated RIGHT after she got rid of Zarbon, the STRONGEST member of her alliance! I don't want to see you or ANYBODY on our team making the same mistake! As far as I'm concerned, as long as Tigress doesn't do ANYTHING to endanger us, or ANY of our fellow team-members, she can stay! If, and only IF, she becomes a genuine problem, will we even CONSIDER eliminating her, and ONLY as a LAST resort! The LAST thing WE want to do, is anger anybody THAT strong!” And Bubble Bass points to Bada and Bing as prime examples of his statement! Johnny sighs, and says: “Okay, then. Just let it be known, for the record, I was the FIRST one to suggest that!” Bubble Bass says: “Don't let it be written as your epitaph!”

(Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Do I personally think that Tigress could be a liability to my chances of winning this season? Possibly. However, I absolutely REFUSE to say something STUPID that could potentially HURT my chances of winning! The smart thing for me to do, is to keep my head low, and let Tigress attract ALL of the attention to herself! I mean, it IS what she wants! And if all the attention gets focused on HER, it actually gives ME a better chance of making it to the Final Three! Tigress may have the MUSCLES to make it to the final three, but it also paints a bigger target on her back, and that will probably LEAD to her OWN undoing!” / Johnny Krill says: “Okay, MAYBE I was being a little blunt! But Bubble Bass HAS to admit that I have a point. Neither of us can match up against the raw strength that resides inside of Tigress, so we've got to look out for each other, as brothers in arms! I mean, Bubble Bass is obviously trying to do the same for me, as far as having an alliance with me goes! Whether that feeling extends beyond the competition, I can't say for sure at the moment. But I'll cross that bridge only IF and/or when I might end up coming to it! Foresight is EVERYTHING in a competition of this nature!” (End Confessional) The Power Pandas are sleeping in the cabins, and just starting to wake up. Po rounds up the Power Pandas who AREN'T Skipper and Kowalski, and he says: “Well, our worst fears have been confirmed. Our penguin members were only looking out for themselves, and were willing to do ANYTHING, to try to take control of the game!” Theodore says: “Obviously, we KNOW that now! But we're in the clear now, RIGHT?! I mean; Rico is GONE now, and Kowalski is on probation! So that leaves only Private! And I don't think Private will do anything to rock the boat, given what has happened!”

Jenny says: “It's hard to say. After all, while Kowalski may not be able to COMPETE in this upcoming challenge, he can STILL give his advice and knowledge to Private, and that COULD give him the edge over the rest of us! We are going to have to be on GUARD, and try to stay united! If we let those penguins convince that one of US needs to be eliminated should we lose, they'll find themselves on the verge of control again! And if WE want to have a chance of winning, we CAN'T allow that!” Danny says: “I quite agree! If there are ANY legal tricks we can use in this upcoming challenge to keep us safe, I suggest we use them! That way, we'll look good IF we lose, and COOL if we win! And under NO circumstances, do we repeat ANY of this to Private and Kowalski! THAT, means YOU, Theodore!” Theodore nervously asks: “Why do you MEAN, ME?!” Jenny says: “Well, statistically speaking, you ARE the most likely of us to get nervous enough, to try to save your OWN skin!” And Theodore gulps nervously!

(Confessional) Theodore says: “The worst part about Jenny's statement, is that as a robot; she's practically RIGHT about it! Other than singing, I really don't HAVE any special skills that could help me out in a competition of this nature! I only signed up for this competition in order to make Alvin happy! I wasn't expecting to get picked! Thankfully, I have HEARD that Brittany is back as an intern! Maybe SHE can give me the advice that I need, to prevail in this challenge!” / Jenny says: “As a robot, I was not PROGRAMMED to feel such emotions as fear and nervousness! However, I'm not necessarily sure whether this is a good thing OR a bad thing at the moment! After all, from what I've witnessed, any other contestant, who is able to become afraid and nervous, can ALSO get a boost of adrenaline and bravery, and accomplish feats that they wouldn't be able to accomplish normally! While I can do a lot, it takes a lot of effort on MY end, to do MORE than I've been programmed to do! And while I CAN calculate for a lot, the HUMAN factor, of being variable and unpredictable, STILL leaves a lot of guess-work on my end! But all things considered, I just hope Theodore can prove himself to us, and to himself! After all, his safety as a member of our team, depends on it!” / Po says: “Believe me, I don't WANT to have to be AGAINST the penguins, but they DID start this whole mess! If they could have just kept RICO in line, we wouldn't have HAD to eliminate him! BUT, they didn't, so we HAD to do what we did! We're probably doing Private and Kowalski a FAVOR in the long run! It was nothing personal!” / Danny says: “So far, everything has been going relatively SMOOTH in the challenge department! Nothing TOO out of the ordinary! And yet, unless my ghost senses are acting up, I have a supernatural feeling that something STRANGE is about to happen!”

And then, as if on command, a strange voice comes out of Danny, and he says: “Crikey!And an Australian Fedora blows in from out of nowhere, onto Danny's head, and Danny is SUDDENLY channeling Steve Irwen! In an Australian accent, Danny says: “Smells like some strange magic blowing in from a didgeridoo from the outback! I best keep my wits about me, if I want to keep my fellow team-mates safe!” (End Confessional) Private and Kowalski are sharing the same cabin room, mainly because they wanted to be SURE, that nobody else would be ABLE to find ANY of their plans and ideas for the remainder of the challenge. Private says: “Kowalski? I just wanted to thank you again for stepping up and telling the truth about that whole Rico ordeal. I know it's not what either of us wanted, but there's no WAY either of us can win, if we have to resort to such underhanded tactics to get farther in the game!” Kowalski says: “I had to, Private! Such a moment of weakness is INEXCUSIBLE for a genius such as myself! I couldn't let YOU suffer because of a mistake that I made! Rico may be gone, but we will NOT let his elimination be in vain! We shall simply have to work harder AND tougher, to get past the rest of the challenges that come our way! We've got to look out for each other now, more than ever! Our safety and security depends on it!” Private says: “I quite agree!” Kowalski hands Private a clip-board, and Kowalski says: “Private, I want you to study this clip-board.” Private asks: “YOUR clip-board?! But, why?!” Kowalski says: “Simple. You KNOW I can't compete in this upcoming challenge. I'm on probation. Therefore, YOU will have to use the plans I'VE developed, to see you through this challenge, and win US immunity! I've carefully developed every possible challenge scenario for this season, and strategies for getting past them all! Now, these plans will only take you half-way to your goal! The rest, is all up to you!” Private says: “Do you really think I can do it by myself?” Kowalski says: “Don't just do it for yourself; do it for Rico!” Private does a flipper slap with Kowalski, and Private enthusiastically says: “For Rico!” (Confessional)

Private says: “I've certainly come a long way with my fellow penguins! Kowalski has put his complete trust in ME, to carry out HIS plan! That's a BIG responsibility for a penguin commando such as myself, so I certainly don't want to take this matter lightly! If there is ONE thing that penguins NEVER do, is that penguins, never say 'DIE'!!!!” / Kowalski says: “It's all in Private's flippers now! I gave him my analytical analysis, now it's up to him, to figure out how to use it best! If ANY penguin can get me out of THIS mess, it's ALL Private!” (End Confessional)

Suddenly, everyone starts to hear the sound of SOMEBODY playing a didgeridoo! Tigress says: “Ooh! Must be the sign to come start today's challenge! Aren't YOU excited, Fee and Katarra?!” Katarra, still floating eerily, says: “Well, 'Excited' is HARDLY the term I would use for the upcoming challenge we have to face!” Fee suspiciously says: “WHY?! What do you KNOW?!” Katarra says: “Well, it's not MY place to say, but you know how WELL my intuition has served ME during these past few challenges! And my intuition tells me that not only are we facing a safari challenge, but Johnny Krill is ALREADY entertaining ideas of trying to vote YOU off, Tigress!” Tigress says: “THAT B--!” Than Tigress remembers that FEE is in the room, and Tigress swallows a gulp, and says: “BIG jerk! I won't let him USURP me! He thinks he can JUST eliminate ME, he's WRONG! I wasn't voted STRONGEST female of the Valley of Peace for 14 YEARS running for nothing! He wants to mess with the tiger? He's going to get the claws, AND the fangs!” Fee says: “I hate to break your 'Roaring Rampage of Revenge'; but that idea is NOT going to fly! Remember the season THREE penalty vote rule? It IS still in effect, you know! That's NEVER going to go away!” And Fee twitches nervously, as if expecting Tigress to absolutely SCREAM and LOSE it, but instead, Tigress gets a VERY devious look on her face, and she says: “Who said anything about PHYSICAL revenge?! A TRUE master doesn't ALWAYS rely on her fists to solve her problems! There ARE alternative ways, to DEAL with a problem!” (Confessional) Fee says: “Is it just me, or does Tigress seem super CREEPY when she gets a sinister smile on her face?!” Katarra pops in, and she says: “Trust me, it's NOT just you!” Fee jumps back, and she says: “Thank you Ms. ESP; which stands for EXTRA Spooky Personality!” /

Tigress says: “If there's one thing I love MORE than using my fists to solve problems, it's BLOWING my opponents away with my superior BRAIN power! Johnny is going to find himself HUMILIATED if he TRIES to eliminate me! However, eliminating HIM now, would be a pretty BIG mistake, if I want to move FORWARD in this game, AND keep Bubble Bass on my good side! So, I think that I'll fire a WARNING shot across Johnny Krill's BIG prawn nose...thing, and eliminate someone inconsequential like Fee or Katarra, and let the OTHERS take the fall for their elimination!” (End Confessional) The contestants (minus Kowalski who is on probation), run out to the pier, expecting to see Sniz, only to be surprised when they find General Barracuda playing the didgeridoo, and Marlene, dressed in her brand new coach outfit, with a microphone in her hand! Theodore nervously asks: “Uh, does something seem off here?” Brittany appears in a fancy intern outfit, and she says: “You mean OTHER than seeing Danny sport an Australian fedora and an obviously FAKE Australian accent for no discernible reason? Not really!” General Barracuda chuckles an evil laugh, and he says: “Welcome, to the Safari, of general unpleasantness!!!! It is the safari challenge to end ALL safari challenges, or so Anti-Cosmo claims!” Marlene says: “If you LIKE that sort of thing!” Po asks: “Where are Sniz and Fondue?!” Anti-Cosmo suddenly appears, and he says: “I'm sorry to break it to you, but Sniz and Fondue are not here, they are in the deserted jungle island in the middle of this lake.” Jenny says: “We're in the middle of Lake MICHIGAN!!!! There IS no deserted jungle island in the middle of this lake!” Anti-Cosmo says: “I have a magic wand, you're argument is invalid. In any case, I have placed Sniz and Fondue in the middle of that jungle island with no clothes, shelter, or any modern conveniences, mainly because they were ANNOYING me, and I needed a good laugh!”

Tigress rolls her eyes and asks: “WHY would you do something so PEDANTICALLY stupid and MINDLESS as that?!” Anti-Cosmo says: “Simple! I'm an evil, sophisticated genius, and it AMUSED me! In other words, I was bored!” Fee scoffs, and says: “I SWEAR, you are the MOST generic, most cliché riddled villain EVER!” Anti-Cosmo says: “Aren't those the EASIEST to hate, though?” Bubble Bass says: “I hate to admit it, but JERK wad has a point!” Bubble Bass says: “In any case, your challenge this time might be straight-forward, but it WON'T be easy!” Johnny Krill says: “Wouldn't BE any fun it if WAS easy!” Anti-Cosmo says: “Speaking of, I'm going to need two victims—volunteers, to step forward.” Theodore says: “I'm afraid of PAIN!” Anti-Cosmo says: “I wasn't TALKING about YOU! Bubble Bass and Po, come ON down!” Bubble Bass says: “Oh, you MUST be bugging!” But Anti-Cosmo simply waves his wand, and magically lifts Po and Bubble Bass to float over to where Anti-Cosmo is floating, than Anti-Cosmo DROPS them onto the ground! Po says: “OW! We could have just WALKED to where you were!” Anti-Cosmo drolly says: “Yeah, but where would the fun in THAT, be?! You two are very lucky, you're going to be GUARDING Sniz and Fondue from the RESPECTIVE other team! You can't help the rest of your team RESCUE Sniz and Fondue, and they can't ASK for your help, either! So, if the OTHER team manages to get past you, AND rescue Sniz and Fondue first, that means your team will LOSE, which could put YOU at risk of elimination!” Private says: “Well, that seems awfully UNFAIR for the ones who have to GUARD Sniz and Fondue!” Marlene says: “Which is why BEFORE Sniz and Fondue got abducted, they had me introduce the ULTIMATE insurance policy to getting eliminated! Now a full-time item, at LEAST until the Final Six, I'd like to bring back, the legendary Pendant of Life!”

Danny, still channeling Steve Irwin, says: “Crikey! That's amazing!” Fee says: “I thought that was LOST after Angelica kicked it out of the plane last season!” Marlene says: “It was, but during one of Skipper's MANY penguin espionage excursions, he found it again! Hidden somewhere on the Island that Anti-Cosmo made appear, is the Legendary Pendant of Life! If you can find it, and present it at the Elimination Ceremony BEFORE the votes are read, you will be saved from elimination, and whoever has the most amount of votes BESIDES you, will be eliminated instead! Think of it as an extra-life in this game!” Brittany sarcastically says: “Wow, that's REALLY nice! You know what would have been nicer? If that thing had been around when I was actually COMPETING in this season! Like, BEFORE I got eliminated!” Marlene says: “I wasn't a coach HERE yet, so you STILL would have been out of luck!” Theodore says: “Brittany, if it makes you feel any better, I would've given the Pendant of Life to YOU if I had it in my possession.” Brittany just sighs, and says: “Thank you, Theodore, that means a LOT to me!” (Confessional) Marlene says: “As a coach, I have absolutely no power over who gets eliminated, not even my favorite penguin players! So, to make up for their recent loss, I introduced the idea of bringing back the Pendant of Life to Sniz and Fondue! Thankfully, they really went for it! So, if Private is as intelligent as I BELIEVE he is, he should find the Pendant of Life no problem! That way, at least ONE of the penguins has a decent chance of making it to the Final Five, even if their team should LOSE a challenge! It's the LEAST I could do FOR them!” /

Private says: “You know, ever since Skipper became a family man, it feels like it's messed up our penguin dynamic. I thought Marlene only cared about spending time with Skipper, but it looks like I was wrong. She LIKES us, she REALLY likes us! I've GOT to find that Pendant of Life! Kowalski's safety may depend on it!” / Tigress is intrigued and says: “A Pendant of Life, huh? Looks like my window of opportunity has just opened! I'll SNAG that Pendant for myself, so even IF everyone else TRIES to vote me off, they STILL won't be able to! I'll just vote off whoever I find MORE annoying in this challenge! That should give EVERYONE the message that they shouldn't mess with ME!” (End Confessional) Anti-Cosmo says: “In any case, Bubble Bass and Po, I shall now transport you to the island where you will guard Sniz and Fondue. But before I do, I just want to say that you don't really LOOK like jungle island guards, so I'll just have to take care of THAT!” Po asks: “Well, what kind of jungle island guards are we supposed to look--.” (POOF!) And both of them are transported, but NOT their clothes, and they wind up on the magically created jungle island, armed ONLY with their clubs and their wits, and Po, VERY confused, finishes asking: “Like?” Bubble Bass groans, and yells: “Anti-Cosmo, you piece of underwater, chum scum! If I manage to SURVIVE this episode, I am GOING to find a way to make YOUR life miserable!” Fondue suddenly yells: “Quit YOUR complaining! At least YOU actually HAVE something to protect yourself! Sniz and I weren't even given that!” Po says: “He HAS a point, Bubble Bass!”

Sniz walks out of a make-shift bamboo hut that happens to be on the island, and Sniz says: “Yeah, life might have given you some lemons. Well, more specifically, Anti-Cosmo has. But when life gives you lemons, you should make some lemonade!” Bubble Bass says: “So, what do YOU suggest I should do?” Sniz says: “Well, if you've ALWAYS wanted a full body tan, but didn't want to go to a full body tanning booth, here's a perfect opportunity to get a full body tan! Luckily, General Barracuda had the foresight to stockpile this island with lots of food, and sun-screen! You can NEVER have too much sun-screen!” Bubble Bass sighs, and says: “I'll take you up on that offer. Heaven knows, I'm PROBABLY going to NEED it!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “Plenty of food and sun-screen, but no CLOTHES?! General Barracuda DEFINITELY has some SKEWED priorities! At least I won't STARVE on this episode!” / Po says: “I have to AGREE with General Barracuda! If I could ONLY pack two things, it would be a LOT of food and sun-screen! I mean, there are so many OTHER worse things in this world than NOT having clothes!” (End Confessional) Back on the pier, Anti-Cosmo says: “Okay, Po and Bubble Bass are on guard duty, so now it's time for the REST of you to get prepared for this challenge! You will each grab a surfboard, and use it to get to the jungle island that I created out in the lake! Once your on the island, feel free to look out for the Pendant of Life if you want, but watch out for the dangerous wild-life that I placed on the island. If you think something is there that SHOULDN'T belong there; just remember, it IS my magic, and it IS what I felt like bringing to the island! Use any non-lethal method you want to incapacitate the guard you have to face, and be the first team to bring Sniz and Fondue back to safety. The team that brings them both back, will be safe. The losing team, will have to face ANOTHER Elimination Ceremony, and lose yet ANOTHER team-mate, no questions asked! Is everybody game?” Tigress seriously says: “I'm game for ANYTHING you can dish out, creep!”

Tigress picks up Bubble Bass' clothes, and says: “Once I find Bubble Bass, even though he can't help me, I will at LEAST have the decency, to give him HIS decency back! It's the LEAST I can do for him” Jenny sighs, and says: “I guess I got to do the same for Po.” And Jenny grabs Po's shorts, and puts them in a plastic bag. Marlene says: “Very well then, it's time to get this show on the road! And to demo the surfing segment of this challenge, we've brought back former contestant, and last season's champion, Reggie Rocket!” Reggie surfs in on an epic wave, and comes to a graceful landing on the beach. Marlene asks: “So, Reggie, how are you doing?”

Reggie says: “Look, I REALLY didn't come here to chat, I just came here to demo the surfing part of this challenge and get paid. I'm considering this practice for a global surfing competition that's going to be happening soon!” Marlene says: “Very well, then. I'll let you get right to it!” Reggie says: “Everybody watch!” Reggie eyes the magical waves of the lake, gauges their height, speed, and amount of wind sheer, than rockets off, and makes hair-pin turns around the buoys dotting the path to the island, and successfully makes it to the jungle island. Reggie shouts something, but she's so far away from the contestants, they can't HEAR what she's shouting! Johnny asks: “What did she say?!” General Barracuda says: “Anti-Cosmo, bring her back here! Don't MAKE me put the hurt on you!” Anti-Cosmo says: “I'm only doing this, because I'm pretty SURE you actually COULD hurt me if you WANTED to!” And Anti-Cosmo waves his wand, and brings Reggie back. Reggie said: “I said; 'That's all there is to it'!” Fee says: “Really?! I thought you said something else!” Reggie says: “I would've, but Nickelodeon doesn't want us to be SUED by Warner Bros. OR their associates!” Marlene says: “MAN, our lawyers ARE cautious!” General Barracuda says: “No, they are just REALLY cheap! Which is STILL pretty much the same thing in MY personal opinion!” Marlene says: “Anyways, on your marks, get set--!” (Blows her whistle!) Marlene shouts: “GO!!!!” And a hit song by The Beach Boys starts playing as all of the surfing contestants start surfing their way around the buoys! /

Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with me! (Come on and safari with...) Early in the morning we'll be startin' out, some honeys will be coming along. We're loading up our Woody, with our boards inside, and headin' out, singing our song. Come on (surfin') baby wait and see; (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Come along (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with me! (Come on and safari with...) At Huntington and Malibu, they're shooting the pier. At Rincon they're walking the nose. We're going on safari to the islands this year. So if you're coming, get ready to go. Come on (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes, I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Come along (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with me! (Come on and safari with...) They're anglin' in Laguna in Cerro Azul. They're kicking out in Doheny, too. I tell you, surfing's mighty wild. It's getting bigger every day, from Hawaii to the shores of Peru. Come on (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Come along, (surfin') baby, wait and see, (surfin' safari). Yes I'm gonna (surfin'), take you surfin' (surfin' safari) with me. Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with me! (Come on and safari with...) With me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari with me. Surfin' Safari.” /

And the song ends as all the contestants finally make it to the jungle island that Anti-Cosmo created! Marlene says: “And just like that, the first part of the challenge is done! What kinds of dangers will our contestants have to face on the island BESIDES Bubble Bass and Po?! I don't know, but I'm sure glad that I personally DON'T have to face them! See for yourself when we come back, on this episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!” Reggie asks: “Can I get paid now?” / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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Sorry it took me SO long to get back to you, but at long last, here is the second and final part of my most recent episode, “Surfing and/or Safari!” / After the commercial ends, the show opens back up, on Bubble Bass hiding himself behind some bushes, applying a bunch of sun-screen on himself. Po just rolls his eyes, and asks: “You think you used ENOUGH sun-screen?!” Bubble Bass says: “Hey! I'll have you know that my potential LADY fans would be VERY devastated if something unfortunate were to happen to me!” Fondue says: “And by 'Lady fans', he means his mom and POSSIBLY Blonda!” Bubble Bass says: “We could have LIVED without that bit of useless context!” Sniz says: “Don't mind Fondue! He just tells it like it is, even WITHOUT Anti-Cosmo's help!” Po says: “What I would like to know is, what are WE supposed to do UNTIL the rest of our team gets here? We're not exactly just going to stand around and do nothing, you know!” Sniz says: “Nor would we expect you to.” Bubble Bass says: “There! I got everything! TOOK me long enough!” Fondue asks: “Why don't you go on a diet?” Bubble Bass retorts: “Why do you THINK I came here?! Certainly NOT because I intended to do it for my OWN personal enjoyment!” Po says: “You're taking this MUCH to personally! Right now, I'm in the same boat as YOU are, metaphorically speaking, but you don't see ME freaking out like some rabid Rottweiler, do you?!” Bubble Bass says: “Certainly not, but I don't see how YOU manage to keep your calm like this!” Po says: “Well, it certainly helps me that I've had a great deal of martial arts training, to balance my sense of Zen and inner peace. Now, I'm not saying that martial arts is GUARANTEED to work for everyone, I just know that it helped me.” Bubble Bass says: “Well, I don't think I have the type of body that would work RIGHT for martial arts!”

Po says: “Well, I'm not naturally built for martial arts either, I had to learn my own form of martial arts in order to do that.” Bubble Bass asks: “How did you do that?” Po says: “By focusing on my strengths, and learning how to move WITH the flow of nature, not against it!”

Bubble Bass says: “Well, it would certainly help ME, if I knew how to move with the flow of nature.” Po says: “Well, I can't say for certain how you SHOULD do that! It's different for everybody! All I know is that when you find the method that works right for you, than you'll know for sure!” Bubble Bass says: “Well, I know one thing it's NOT, it's not ME being the villain this season!” Po asks: “Now, who thinks YOU'RE the villain this season?” Bubble Bass says: “Obviously, Anti-Cosmo! Why else would he be SO intent on DELIBERATELY trying to humiliate me, and trying to make MY life MISERABLE?!” Po says: “His tactics ONLY work if you LET him get to you! Nobody has the power to decide WHAT you are! Only YOU get to decide that! Now, think! What do YOU really want to be?” Bubble Bass sighs, and says: “I've never really told anybody this, but, what I would really like, more than anything else in the world, is to be a hero.” Po says: “Well, if you want to be a hero, you need to ACT like one! Be selfless, do something NICE for others! Don't let what others say or think about you, get to you! Be the BIGGER man...I mean...you know what I mean!” Bubble Bass struggles, and he says: “N...n...n...i...ce; MAN! I'm STILL having trouble pronouncing that word!” Po says: “Nobody ever said the RIGHT path was going to be the EASIEST one!” Bubble Bass says: “Well, it would certainly save ME a lot of trouble in the long run! All I know is that my chances of winning this season, would automatically be REDUCED to zero if I even TRIED to actually ACT like a villain! But if I commit to doing this whole 'Hero' thing, and actually follow through on it, I could actually HAVE a decent shot!” Po says: “That's the spirit! So, how exactly do you plan to start proving yourself?” Bubble Bass thinks about it, and he says: “General Barracuda! He lost his tooth! I didn't think much about it at the time, but if someone were to give his tooth back TO him, he'd probably be really grateful to whoever gave it to him!”

Po says: “General Barracuda lost his tooth like FIVE days ago! We don't know WHAT it has been in contact with, or where it's been!” Bubble Bass says: “For General Barracuda, it's the PRINCIPLE of the matter! Besides, our contracts STRICTLY stipulate that ALL contestants HAVE to be kept disease free, throughout the entirety of their stay as a contestant on this show, and for all time after their time on this show! So in other words, even if we COULD get sick, which we aren't able to, they would HAVE to bring us up to 100% health on the off-chance that we COULD get sick!” Po says: “Wow! You're REALLY thorough on this whole contract thing, aren't you?!” Bubble Bass says: “Well, SOMEBODY has to be! Now, if I were General Barracuda's tooth, where would I have gone?”

But Bubble Bass barely walks 5 inches into Lake Michigan, before his fins touch upon a pearly white incisor! Bubble Bass picks it up, and examining it, he says: “NO WAY! If this ISN'T a sign that being good is the right move for me, I don't know WHAT is!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “I admit, I was a little skeptical about Po's suggestion to me at first, but if Karma is willing to give me a break like this, who am I to argue against it? General Barracuda's tooth, will not only get me in good graces with him, I think it will help General Barracuda, be more than willing to take care of a certain 'Anti-Cosmo', and get him to stop pestering me for good!” / Po says: “I've had streaks of good luck, but almost NEVER as any THAT good! If Bubble Bass can do that within just FIVE minutes of OFFICIALLY turning good, who knows what he might be able to accomplish, given the proper training?” (End Confessional) Bubble Bass grabs some string, and he fashions a necklace around the tooth, in order to keep it safe and secure, until he can get it back to General Barracuda! Po says: “So tell me, doesn't it feel GOOD to do something good for someone else?” Bubble Bass says: “Strangely enough, yes. Only...” Po asks: “Only what?” Bubble Bass says: “Well, something just occurred to me. If I'M not the villain this season, than WHO is?!” / The camera creepily cuts to TIGRESS, whose yellow-red eyes are peering through the strange tropical brush of the non-native flora of the uninhabited, Lake Michigan Island! Danny Fenton, still channeling Steve Irwin, says: “The mighty animal hunter tracks any potential prey with great care, and special skill! Knowing that any ONE wrong move, could possibly get him killed!”

Theodore nervously asks: “Could you talk about something MORE pleasant?!” Danny says: “It's not my job to mince words around anyone, least of all, people who deserve to know the truth!” Theodore says: “Fascinating! Maybe I ought to tell THAT to Alvin when all of this is over!” (Confessional) Theodore says: “It's become very apparent to me, just EXACTLY what my problem has been! I have NOT been assertive enough, or confidant enough to stand up for myself! Because if I HAD, I probably might not be IN this predicament that I am now! I've got to channel some of Simon's courage! I mean, Simon is so BRAVE to perform all the science that he does, and he's my brother! That same courage that Simon has, I got to have some of it, as well! People are going to learn that Theodore is NOT going to spend his ENTIRE life, sacred of everything that crosses his path! And when I start channeling my courage, I'm sure Brittany is BOUND to notice my efforts! She's certainly NOT going to notice someone who's always COWERING all the time! At least, not in a POSITIVE matter!” (End Confessional) Tigress growls, and she says: “Where is it? Where is it?! WHERE IS IT?!!!” Katarra eerily floats by, and she says: “Your inner aggression and anger is showing. I suggest you put such negative emotions away, before you attract any unwanted attention to yourself!”

Tigress angrily says: “Excuse me, but I'M Master Tigress! YOU'RE just the girlfriend of the Avatar, and an ANNOYING fellow contestant to boot! If I WANTED to ask a fellow contestant for advice, I'd ASK my own BOYFRIEND, Po! Even HE would be more helpful to ME, than you are!” Katarra asks: “And have you ever WONDERED why exactly that might be?” Tigress retorts: “No! And quite frankly, I'm not INTERESTED in hearing YOUR explanation for it!” Katarra says: “Too bad. You're going to hear it, anyways. Do you REALLY want to know the reason you SUCK?! Well, I'll tell you! You took your sacrifice LAST season, of ELIMINATING Taotie WAY too personally! You think that just because you sacrificed your OWN game last season, in order eliminate Taotie, when he wasn't even the most EVIL contestant on that season, automatically makes your self-sacrifice, totally POINTLESS! And because of THAT irrational train of thought, you have now deluded yourself into thinking that you can't trust anybody EXCEPT Po this season, which is why you are SO intent, on vilifying EVERYONE except yourself, just so YOU can feel better about intimidating everyone else, just so YOU can feel justified, about treating EVERYONE else like dirt, and feeling MORE like the self-proclaimed hero that you SAY you are, when you're NOT even ACTING like one! And before you say anything, just remember, that is your OWN Aura talking, and your Aura NEVER lies!”

Tigress groans, and says: “Fine! I have an AGGRESSION problem! Now are you satisfied?!” Katarra says: “No, just disappointed!” Tigress says: “You know, you're starting to SOUND like Master Shifu!” Katarra says: “Good! At least ONE of us, does!” Tigress gets angry, and says: “Listen! You think you can just SHOW up and tell ME what I should do with MY life?! You don't even personally know what I'VE been through!” Katarra says: “All I know for sure, is that if you go around treating EVERYONE like a villain, don't be surprised when they treat YOU like one, and respond in kind! Your own actions will PROVE to be your OWN undoing, Tigress!” Tigress asks: “Is that a THREAT?!” Katarra says: “No, merely a promise! Unless, of course, you give up this pointless action of trying to antagonize everyone! After all, this could STILL be your season to shine!” But Tigress gets REALLY mad and PUNCHES a hole STRAIGHT through a tree with a 72 inch diameter, completely THROUGH the tree, and knocks the bark that was within that hole, STRAIGHT into a 72 inch thick rock, through 69.5 inches OF that rock! Tigress says: “Well, THAT could have been your FACE!!!!” (Confessional) Tigress says: “That DOES it! Miss E.S.P., has GOT to go! I don't need some psychic, telling ME what I should or shouldn't do! I didn't get THIS far in life, by letting some snot-nosed little NOBODY, telling ME what moves I should or shouldn't be making! That Pendant of Life is MINE!” / Katarra says: “Tigress' aggression, is clearly drowning out her own inner common sense! She IS good. Whether she will remember it BEFORE the end of the season, even I can't say for certain.”

(End Confessional) Jenny says: “Look, personally, I'm into a good cat-fight, but not at the expense of the penalty vote rule! Let's just focus on this challenge and get through this weird jungle.” Fee asks: “Do you have any idea on which way we SHOULD be going?” Jenny checks her scanners, and she says: “I'm not getting any readings. Either the wi-fi settings are no good it, or Anti-Cosmo's magic is blocking me from getting a good reading, or a combination of both!” Danny says: “Well, when technology fails, always leave it to good old fashioned tracking to save the day!” Johnny Krill asks: “And what do YOU, know about tracking?” Danny says: “Plenty! For instance, moss always grows on the north side of a tree, so, if we find the moss, we'll know which direction to go in!” Private says: “I sure hope so! The sooner we can finish this challenge, the more comfortable I feel about my own safety after it's done!” Fee says: “Don't tell ME that the BRAVE penguin commando is frightened!” Private scoffs, and he replies: “Frightened! You are talking to a penguin who has LAUGHED in the face of DEATH; SNEERED at doom; and CHUCKLED at CATASTROPHE!” Private clears his throat, and he says: “I'm just feeling a LITTLE petrified and apprehensive about this whole thing, like any SANE contestant would be! I'm NOT crazy like Rico is, I won't make the same mistakes HE made!” (Confessional) Jenny says: “Well, that rules out trying to eliminate either Private or Kowalski the same way Rico got eliminated! The rest of us will have to come up with another plan! I sure hope we CAN come up with another plan! I mean, it would be kind of EMBARRASING if the $60 Million Dollar Woman, built entirely through technology, were to lose to a penguin, and the PRIVATE of the group at THAT! Well, if it's a challenge Private wants, it's a challenge he's going to get!” /

Private says: “Look. Personally, I have nothing AGAINST most of my fellow contestants, and I sure most of them are pleasant enough to be with OUTSIDE of these challenges! But since we are IN these challenges, I have to be on my guard, and not be caught OFF guard! See how that works? Like I said, it's nothing personal.” (End Confessional) Danny Fenton reaches a rock, and he smells the moss growing from it! Danny says: “I love the smell of moss in the morning! It smells like victory! Straight ahead to where Bubble Bass and Po are, and may the better team win!” Tigress says: “Which obviously is ME!” Johnny says: “TIGRESS!” Tigress says: “Freudian slip! Said 'Me', meant to say, 'Us'!” Then Tigress hears a familiar voice from TAOTIE, and he boasts: “STILL acting, 'Holier than THOU', are you Tigress?!” Tigress looks toward Taotie, and he's riding one of a bunch of Anti-Fairy enhanced Rhinoceros', who now have bazooka launchers, and jet-propelled feet!

Tigress says: “So, if it isn't my LEAST favorite side of pork in the world, Taotie! I was expecting to find you here, working for Anti-Cosmo! I recognized your foul stench the MOMENT we entered this jungle!” Taotie sarcastically says: “Still charming, to the last! You have NO idea how many experiments we had to go THROUGH to get thee Anti-Fairy rhinoceros' just RIGHT for you!” Tigress says: “I'm surprised you had the responsibility to oversee these experiments yourself!” Taotie says: “It's become clear to me that technology itself, is not enough of a tactic to use against you! Therefore, I have decided to incorporate the forces of nature to WORK with technology this time around! You will NEVER get through this blockade of Anti-Fairy rhinoceros' my FAIR Tigress!” Tigress says: “Who said anything about going THROUGH them?! I'm going...!” And Tigress leaps up HIGH into the treetops, and everyone looks up in bewilderment as Tigress says: “ABOVE them! Later, losers!” And Tigress leaps across the treetops, frantically LOOKING for the Pendant of Life! Fee says: “Come BACK here, you TRAITOR!” Jenny says: “Forget her! We don't NEED her! You WANT technology, Taotie?! I'll give YOU technology! 44 Dart Tranquilizing Attack!” And Jenny produces a cannon that shoots 44 tranquilizer darts, and hits ALL of the rhinoceros' instantly making them fall asleep! Taotie says: “Hey, no fair! This was supposed to be MY chance to shine this season, as the villain I was always MEANT to be!” Fee says: “Too bad, so sad! More money for us!”

(Confessional) Johnny Krill says: “I got to admire Fee's epic BURNS! It feels SO good to see someone ELSE get burned instead of ME, for a change!” / Jenny says: “When I fight, I don't believe in messing around! I try to take care of things as quickly, cleanly, and efficiently as I can! Maybe that's why I was named Robotic Monthly's #2 Robot of the top ten robots that you CAN trust! I would have been #1, except Mega Man beat me for the top spot, AGAIN! Although to be fair, he does genuinely deserve it!” (End Confessional) Jenny says: “So, are you going to come QUIETLY Taotie, or do we have to do this the HARD way?” Taotie says: “I won't be coming at ALL! You haven't seen the last of me, I WILL be BACK!” And Taotie throws down a smoke-bomb, and makes an escape throughout the distraction! Johnny says: “I'm getting TIRED of villains doing that!” Private says: “Join the club!” Danny says: “That was AMAZING, Jenny! You have absolutely got to come to Casper, sometime! There are loads of people who would LOVE you there!” Jenny says: “Thank you, I might just take you up on that offer! There's only one question on my mind.” Danny says: “Well, no worries here. You can ask me ANYTHING that's on your mind!” Jenny says: “Well, why are you acting like Steve Irwin, or Rodney Dangerfield, or Marlon Brando, or Bette Davis from time to time? Don't tell ME it's just for an acting class!” And Danny gulps nervously! (Confessional) Private sighs, and he says: “I was AFRAID of this! Sooner or later, women ALWAYS figure out the truth! ALWAYS!” / Danny, as Steve Irwin says: “Crikey! The jig is up! What am I going to do?!” Than Danny channels Bette Davis, and he says: “Well, speaking from personal experience AS a feminine presence, I really think that you SHOULD be honest with Jenny, REALLY, you should!” Danny channels Marlon Brando, and says: “After all, there's nothing worse than a BUM who can't be honest!” Danny than channels Rodney Dangerfield, and he says: “All right, I'll do it! But I probably won't like it!” (End Confessional)

Danny jerks back into being himself, and he says: “Okay, you deserve to know the truth, so HERE it is! Let's just hope I don't glitch THIS one up, pardon the phrasing! Going GHOST!!!!” And Danny transforms from his normal teenage self, into a white-haired, green-eyed, black suited, super-powered self! Jenny says: “No WAY! You're THE Danny Phantom?!” Danny says: “I'm actually surprised it took you THIS long to figure it out! Usually, I have to pay EXTRA for that!” Jenny says: “But, why the big secret?” Danny says: “It's totally NOT you, it's me! Normally, I can transform into this state just fine! But that's not why I was being secretive with you. Lately, my ability to go ghost has been acting up. And when it does, depending on my personality, I channel one of those four famous celebrities! I was just worried that if I told you, that you would think less of me, for not being able to control my powers.”

Jenny puts her arms around Danny, and she says: “Danny, I DON'T think any less of you. I'm sure there must be a LOGICAL explanation as to WHY you're channeling these celebrities, and you DON'T have to face this problem alone!” Danny says: “I don't?!” Jenny says: “Of course not! With my scientific technology, I may be able to identify and trace just what exactly IS happening to you! And if I can track it, we may be able to find a remedy for it!” Danny asks: “You'd do that, for me?!” Jenny says: “Of course! Us heroes have got to stick together, don't we?” Danny says: “Yeah, I guess you're right!” (Confessional) Danny says: “I was SILLY to try and solve this whole celebrity channeling mess by myself! I should have just been upfront and honest about this whole thing from the start, and save myself some trouble! I'm just glad that I came out into the open now, instead of later; it's definitely going to make going forward from here on out much easier for me, and probably for her!” / Jenny says: “In retrospect, I REALLY should have made the whole 'Fenton/Phantom' connection much sooner, but at least I heard it from Danny first, instead of someone else, and I can at least understand why he felt the way he did. It's not always easy to know who wants to help you, and who doesn't it. I just want Danny to know that no matter what, as far as friends go, he can count on me!” (End Confessional) Johnny Krill says: “Look, I'm all for interesting revelations, but if we don't hurry up, Tigress is going to get WAY ahead of us!”

Fee says: “Dumb wad has a point! After all, if I were Tigress, and I'm SO glad I'm not; Tigress is probably looking for the Pendant of Life right now! Even as we speak!” / The camera switches to Tigress, who is still jumping from tree to tree, frantically looking for the Pendant of Life! Tigress says: “Blast it! Where IS that STUPID Pendant of Life?! It's got to be SOMEWHERE within these stupid trees! They wouldn't want just ANYBODY to get them! Only the contestants who WANT to find them, CAN!!!!” Until Tigress jumps to the LAST tree she hasn't jumped on, and she says: “Don't tell me I'm already THERE! Bubble Bass and Po are right below me, and it's still going to take everyone else about a good hour to catch up to me, and no Pendant of Life to show for MY efforts! Would it be TOO much to ask, for a LITTLE sign of SYMPATHY?!!!” And Tigress pounds her fist into the tree, and RIGHT in the hole she has made, she feels SOMETHING metallic! She reaches in, and pulls out the FULL Pendant of Life! Tigress chuckles, and she says: “Bingo! Heh, heh, heh!” (Confessional) Tigress glares, and cocky, she shares: “I TOLD you I'd find it! And I NEVER go back on my word! Now, to set up Katarra, for the FALL!” (End Confessional) Tigress puts the Pendant of Life in one of her pockets, and she says: “I got what I came for, now to give Bubble Bass what HE deserves!” Tigress leaps down, and everyone else there, gazes in amazement! Sniz asks: “Tigress! We're surprised! We weren't expecting you for another hour!” Tigress says: “Don't be surprised! I'm made of different STUFF from those other contestants! Namely winning material! By the way, Bubble Bass, got something I think YOU want! Catch!”

And Bubble Bass catches the bag of clothes that Tigress was carrying, and he says: “Much obliged!” And while Bubble Bass puts his clothes on, Tigress asks: “Anything ELSE interesting that I need to know about?” Bubble Bass puts his clothes back on, and he says: “Tigress, I have to tell you that Johnny Krill was entertaining the idea of trying to vote you off tonight!” Tigress says: “So, Katarra WAS telling me the truth about that!” Bubble Bass says: “I'm afraid so! But I HAD to let you know the truth! I've decided that I'm going to be a HERO now! I'm not going to play an antagonistic game! So there's no need to worry about ANY of us trying to stab you in the back! I certainly won't!” Tigress asks: “Who said anything about WORRYING? Not ME! I plan to stick around for a while!” Bubble Bass says: “That's good to hear!” (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “If I'm going to commit to being a hero, than I OWED it to Tigress to tell her the TRUTH! It's a lot better for me if she hears it now, instead of later. I just hope that she isn't TOO harsh on Johnny! After all, I DID warn him!” / Tigress says: “Bubble Bass doesn't need to worry about MY safety! I've got an ACE in the hole!”

(End Confessional) Than suddenly, Jenny, and the rest of the contestants come into the clearing! Tigress says: “It's about TIME the other contestants got here!” Jenny says: “I brought something for you Po! Catch!” And she drops the bag of clothes that she has been carrying, and gives Po back his clothes! Po says: “Thank you, Jenny!” Fee says: “Tigress, you've already made it here! It looks like you ARE a team player AFTER all! So, why don't you do your usual tiger thing, beat up Po, and rescue Sniz and Fondue so we can win this thing?” But Tigress merely sighs, blows on her claws, rubs her fists on her shirt, and looks at her nails with a bored look, saying nothing. Johnny says: “Tigress, as your TEAM Leader, I am ORDERING you to cut OUT whatever CAT game you're trying to play, and win a CHALLENGE for us! You know, like the kind that you've been COMPLAINING about?!” Tigress seriously says: “Not until I get an APOLOGY from YOU, AND Katarra!” Katarra asks: “What do I have to do about ANYTHING?!” Tigress says: “EVERYTHING! You gave me a 'Reason You Suck' Speech, and VERBALLY tore me DOWN in front of the REST of my fellow contestants! Did you THINK I wouldn't take it personally?! Your time is OVER, Katarra, you are going DOWN!!!!” Katarra says: “Now THAT, is a THREAT!” Tigress says: “That's a FACT! I NEVER lie, I NEVER break MY promises, and I DON'T intend to start NOW!!!!” Katarra says: “Maybe you ARE socially deficient, but from where I come from, those are FIGHTING words!” Tigress says: “Well, if I'm something that CAN be stopped, than just TRY to STOP me!” Katarra says: “Gladly!”

(Confessional) Katarra says: “She's been ASKING to be TAUGHT a lesson for a LONG time! And NOW, she's going to get it!” / Tigress says: “I knew the girlfriend of the Avatar couldn't resist falling for THAT ploy! I'm playing her like a harp, and she's too ANGRY to even see it! I knew AANG'S attitude problems would rub off on her! Like boyfriend, like girlfriend! Except for me! I'm ALL business! And winning for ME, is just good business!” (End Confessional) Katarra says: “Prepare to get WET!!!!” And Katarra summons a water ball from Lake Michigan, and SPLASHES it in Tigress' face! Tigress says: “I'm not afraid of a little water! You're going to have to do a LOT better than THAT!!!!” Katarra says: “Gladly!” She manipulates the water, and produces two GIANT water fists, that grab TIGHTLY around Tigress, and she can't break THROUGH the water! Tigress says: “What GIVES?!” Katarra says: “If water molecules are dense enough and tight enough, than even YOU can't break through them, Tigress!” Tigress says: “Don't make PROMISES YOU CAN'T KEEP!!!!” And with an AMAZING force of WILL, she BREAKS through the fists, and SHARP water droplets rain EVERYWHERE! Fee says: “AHH!!!! Not the hair! Save the hair! Johnny! Shield me with your exoskeleton!” Fee ducks right behind Johnny just in time, and he says: “Hey! I'm not a water shield! Let go of me!” Fee says: “I would, but I think my super strength mousse is stuck to your shirt!” Tigress says: “Got any MORE water tricks you'd like to demonstrate?!” Katarra says: “Gladly! It's about to get COLD! ICE COLD!!!!” And she makes the water SUPER cold and FREEZES it, and she throws a bunch of ice stalagmites at Tigress, who manages to DODGE all of them as if they were coming at her SUPER slow, and manages to look SUPER SEXY while doing it! Po can't HELP but give a wolf-whistle! (Confessional)

Po says: “Yeah, I probably shouldn't be enjoying this battle, given that Tigress is on the other team; but come ON!!!! You have to admit, that IS pretty talented!” / Tigress says: “When you've learned how to dodge 500 angry bees in a square space of only three feet, you learn how to dodge about almost anything!” (End Confessional) Tigress jumps up into the tree, and Katarra has prepped another sharp ice stalagmite! Tigress says: “Don't TRY it, Katarra! I have the high ground!” Katarra says: “Your over-confidence is YOUR weakness! NEVER underestimate the abilities of a Water-Bender when ELIMINATION is on the line!” Katarra THROWS the ice stalagmite at the tree, but Tigress DODGES it, and instead of HITTING Tigress, the ice stalagmite swiftly BREAKS the tree in two, and causes the top portion of it to come barreling STRAIGHT towards Katarra! Katarra preemptively, weakly says: “Mother.” And the tree crashes RIGHT on top of Katarra!

(Confessional) Tigress chuckles: “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I TOLD you I'd WIN!!!!” / Katarra is heavily bandaged and, she says: “Hoist by my own petard. I did NOT see THAT coming!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “All right! That's enough! Both of you! Now, I know the challenge was to rescue us, but because the Killer Prawns decided to deliberately fight amongst THEMSELVES, they are automatically DISQUALIFIED, so the Power Pandas win this challenge, by default!” Theodore says: “Yes! I'm safe for another challenge!” Sniz says: “Everyone back to camp! Get freshened up, Fondue and I will get dressed! And Killer Prawns, we will see all of you TONIGHT at the Bonfire Ceremony! One of you WILL be eliminated; no questions asked.” / Back at the camp, Jenny and Danny are at the fancy hotel, and Jenny is scanning Danny Fenton. Danny says: “Well, have you found out anything?” Jenny says: “Well, as far as I can tell, it seems that the reason you're channeling these four spirits, is that they have some unfinished business to attend to in the living realm.” Danny asks: “Unfinished business? What does THAT mean?” Jenny says: “Well, the reason ANY spirit sticks around, is because they have business, that they never got to finish, while they still had their bodies. You can turn INTO a spirit form yourself, so YOU are a natural go-between, between the mortal realm, and the spirit realm! You must somehow help them finish their unfinished business, BEFORE they can pass on into their next life!” Danny sighs and says: “I'll do it! I'll do whatever it takes to help them, and to help myself at the same time!”

(Confessional) Danny says: “Unfinished business, that's what this all boils down to. Well, all I have to do is figure out WHAT these spirits need to do. It might not be easy, but nothing heroic ever is!” / Jenny says: “I'm just glad that I was able to help Danny out, not just as a hero, but as a friend. I think Danny and I can be really good friends; especially once this whole season is over!” / Private and Kowalski are in the Cafeteria Confessional together. Kowalski says: “I'm so glad our team has won the challenge! I be out of probation, and back in the game for the next challenge! I knew you had it in you, Private!” Private says: “It's not so much I WON the challenge, but I think Tigress deliberately THREW the challenge, just to get back at Katarra for DEMEANING her!” Kowalski says: “Wait a minute! Tigress DELIBERATELY THREW the CHALLENGE?!” Private says: “It certainly looked that way to me, sir!” Kowalski says: Well, at least you've accomplished ONE important thing today, Private!” Private asks: “What's that?” Kowalski says: “We now know who the REAL bad guy is, and it's NOT Bubble Bass!” (End Confessional) The Killer Prawns are back at the campfire, Sniz and Fondue are all dressed up, and Marlene is preparing the regular marshmallows! Marlene says: “I sure am glad the both of you are back! Of course, I just want to let you know that if anything REALLY unfortunate were to happen to you two, I'd be more than happy to step in as a host!” Sniz says: “Well, if it makes you FEEL any better, you're our ONLY pick for such an occasion!” Marlene air fist-bumps, and she says: “I KNEW it!” Sniz says: “Killer Prawns, the time has come to eliminate another contestant. Like always, you will be voting for the contestant you WANT to eliminate! Just remember, any of your fellow contestants, might be the one HOLDING a Pendant of Life! And if they reveal the Pendant of Life BEFORE the votes are read, any votes cast for them, will be rendered null and void. The contestant with the NEXT amount of votes, will be voted off instead! So keep that in mind, and vote!” (Confessional)

Katarra makes an X on Tigress' card, and Katarra says: “It's the PRINCIPLE of the matter!” / Johnny makes an X on Tigress' card, and he says: “See you NEVER, traitor!” / Fee makes an X on Tigress' card, and Fee says: “Having YOU here is hazardous to MY health, AND to my HAIR!” / Bubble Bass thinks about it, and puts an X on Katarra's card. Bubble Bass says: “I WON'T back out on Tigress! I will NEVER go back on my word unless I HAVE to, and ONLY for a GOOD reason!” / Tigress makes an X on Katarra's card, and Tigress says: “You made your BED, Katarra, now, SLEEP in it!” (End Confessional)

Sniz says: “Voting over! It's now time--!” Tigress says: “Hold it! The Pendant of Life, is MINE!!!!” And she SLAPS it on a rock, and Johnny says: “Oh, no!!!!” Sniz says: “The Pendant of Life, is GENUINE!!!! That means all votes cast for Tigress, will NOT count! Let me READ the votes!” Fee says: “READ the VOTES?!!!” Sniz says: “One vote cast for Tigress, cast by Katarra, doesn't count. One vote cast for Tigress, cast by Johnny, doesn't count. One vote cast for Tigress, cast by Fee, doesn't count. One vote cast for Katarra, by BUBBLE Bass, counts. And one vote cast for Katarra, by Tigress, counts. Tigress got more votes, but she IS protected by the Pendant of Life this time. Therefore, Katara, with two votes, you are eliminated tonight. Pack your things, and get ready to leave.” Tigress says: “Well, it's nice to know who my TRUE friend is on THIS team!” And the other Killer Prawns just gulp nervously! (Confessional) Tigress says: “I SAW what was in THEIR eyes! It was FEAR! Pure and unadulterated FEAR! THEY are now ALL afraid of me, and RIGHTFULLY so! Because THEY know that I will now HUNT them DOWN and DESTROY them ALL like the DOGS that they ARE!!!! No offense to ACTUAL dogs!” / Bubble Bass just stares, and says: “WOW! Here, I thought that my greatest ally would be the GREATEST hero on this season! But instead, she's the biggest threat! I'm only GLAD that I sided with her THIS time! Looks like I might have to bide my time until the Final Five. There's no way I'M going to risk Tigress getting a Pendant of Life AGAIN!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “Katarra, are you ready to take the Slingshot of Shame?” Katarra says: “I don't NEED to take the Slingshot of Shame! I'm Water-bending my way HOME!!!!” And before anyone can react, a giant wave of water comes to pick up Katarra, and air-lifts her out of sight, and beyond the horizon!

Sniz says: “Ooh, I HATE that! I forgot that she could do that! And I was SO looking forward to using the Slingshot of Shame, tonight!” Than Sniz gets an idea, and he says: “Oh, INTERN!!!!” / Brittany is fitted up with protection gear, and she says: “WHAT?! You're eliminating me, AGAIN?!!!” Sniz says: “This is what we're PAYING you for! Besides, you're more than welcome to SWIM back!” Brittany says: “But I-AY-YI!!!!” She screams as she's hurled into Lake Michigan! Sniz says: “Man, that feels better! Four contestants down, and ten contestants to go! Things are heating up between the two teams, and it's anybody's guess, as to who will be eliminated next time, on another episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!” /

Bubble Bass goes up to General Barracuda, and he says: “General Barracuda, I've got something that I think you've been looking for.” General Barracuda asks: “Oh, really?!” Bubble Bass says: “But before I give it to you, you must promise to do something for me!” General Barracuda says: “Anything! As long as it doesn't involve donating a kidney, or something like that!” Bubble Bass says: “I found your lost tooth!” And Bubble Bass takes out the tooth that General Barracuda has been looking for! General Barracuda says: “That's MY tooth! Give me that tooth!” Bubble Bass says: “First, you need to take CARE of Anti-Cosmo for me! Do anything that doesn't involve DESTROYING him, but he must learn to LEAVE me alone! Can you promise that?!” General Barracuda says: “I'll make SURE Anti-Cosmo doesn't bother YOU anymore, I can promise you that! And I think I might even start being nicer to you, which is a very rare gift, since that doesn't happen for just ANYBODY!” Bubble Bass says: “It's settled, then! One tooth, for one promise!” And Bubble Bass gives General Barracuda his tooth! General Barracuda says: “Much obliged! Anti-Cosmo won't know what HIT him!” General Barracuda starts to walk away, than he turns back, and looks at Bubble Bass, and he says: “You know, I've never NOTICED before, but when I look at you; for some reason, I'm reminded of...her.” And General Barracuda walks away again. (Confessional) Bubble Bass asks: “HER?! Who is, HER?!” (End Confessional) /

/ Episode Notes: Contestants remaining: Bubble Bass (Killer Prawn); Danny Fenton (Power Panda); Fee (Killer Prawn); Jenny Wakeman (Power Panda); Johnny Krill (Killer Prawn); Kowalski (Power Panda); Po (Power Panda); Private (Power Panda); Theodore Seville (Power Panda); Tigress (Killer Prawn). /

Eliminated: #14, Bessie Higgenbottom (“The Mighty B!”). / #13: Brittany Miller (“Alvinnn!!!! And the Chipmunks”). / #12, Rico (“The Penguins of Madagascar”). / #11, Katarra (“Avatar: The Last Airbender”). / Songs featured in this episode: “Run Through the Jungle” by Creedence Clearwater Revival, and “Surfing Safari” by The Beach Boys. Featured former contestants are Reggie Rocket, and Taotie. The Pendant of Life is introduced in this episode, and is used for the first time by Tigress. With Katarra's elimination, all of the representatives from “Avatar: The Last Airbender” (namely, her), have now been eliminated from this game show. /

Personal Notes: I guess the reason why it took me so long to finish writing this episode, was because I was wondering whether I SHOULD finish writing this episode, due to the current situation. Luckily, I thought up of the “Disease Free Rule” Clause to included in every single contestants' contract, which made me feel more at ease with writing this episode. What I wanted to do in this episode, was to really DIVERGE from the path taken by “Total Drama: Revenge of the Island”, so instead of having the EXPECTED Bubble Bass turn out to be the primary antagonist, he ACTUALLY starts pulling a “Heel-Face Turn” in this episode, and the primary antagonist turns out to be TIGRESS, of ALL contestants! Needless to say, eliminating her will be no easy task for the other contestants. And while I probably took some liberties with Katarra's characterization, it was necessary for this overall plot to work. Just because someone is a clairvoyant, that doesn't mean they are always right. That's why she had to go this episode. I hope you enjoy reading this episode, as much as I did writing it. Enough said, true believers!

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This is hardly the way or method that I would have envisioned myself writing a "Total Cartoon" related story, but since I don't believe in making my potential fans wait any longer to read about the stories they want to read, I shall make them wait no longer, and continue on with my stories as best as I can. /


Sniz is in the cafeteria, and General Barracuda is STRETCHING out Anti-Cosmo on a Mideval Torture Rack, while Stealers Wheel's original version of "Stuck In the Middle With You" is playing in the background. Sniz says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, Anti-Cosmo THOUGHT it would be a funny idea to strand Fondue and I on a deserted island, not even WITH the shirts, or anything, on our backs." Anti-Cosmo is groaning, and says: "AHHH! Come on! Can't you...can't you TAKE a JOKE?! AHHH!!!!" Sniz continues as if Anti-Cosmo said nothing, and Sniz says: "And later, he did the same thing to Bubble Bass and Po, as well." General Barracuda says: "So my challenge for the teams, was that whoever rescued Sniz and Fondue, would win immunity for their team." Sniz says: "Unfortunately, Tigress got wind of the word, that Johnny Krill had thoughts of betraying her, so she immediately DITCHED her team, and found the Pendant of Life, which would ENSURE her stay as a contestant! She TRICKED Katarra into attacking her, which unexpectedly, led to Katarra causing a tree to fall down on herself. OUCH!!!!" Anti-Cosmo says: "That's not the only thing that--OWWW!!!!" Sniz says: "To add insult to injury, Tigress showed off the Pendant of Life at the elimination ceremony for the Killer Prawns, nullifying ALL the votes sent her way, making Katarra the unexpected loser for the night. Only Bubble Bass avoided Tigress' wrath, by NOT sending a vote Tigress' way. There are only ten contestants left, and any one of them, could be going home next? Who do YOU think it will be, Anti-Cosmo?" Anti-Cosmo says: "I don't know, but find out on today's episode, of Total Cartoon--." (The camera quickly switches to OUTSIDE the cafeteria, we hear a LOUD CRACK!!!!, and a scream!!!!) Anti-Cosmo says: "WOAH!!!! NICOLE SULLIVAN!!!!" /


The intro shows Sniz, Fondue, General Barracuda, and Marlene, are cosplaying as the 1984 line-up of Van Halen, in a shot for shot re-make of Van Halen's 1984 music video, "Jump". / Sniz lip-syncs to David Lee Roth's voice: "I get up, and nothing gets me down. You got it tough, I've seen the toughest all around. And I know, baby, just how you feel. You've got to roll with the punches to get to what's real. Oh, can't you see me standing here? I've got my back against the record machine. I ain't the worst that you've seen. Oh, can't you see what I mean? Might as well jump. Jump! Might as well jump! Go ahead, jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump! Ah-oh, hey you! Who said that? Baby, how you been? You say you don't know, you won't know until you begin. So, can't you see me standing here? I've got my back against the record machine? I ain't the worst that you've seen. Oh, can't you see what I mean? Might as well jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump! Might as well jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump! Jump! (Instrumental solo) Might as well jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump! Get it and jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!" / And the rocking music video intro ends. / "Living On the Edge!" /


Early morning breaks over the campsite, and while things are mostly tense over at the cabins where the Killer Prawns have to stay at, there is a sense of calm, coming from Bubble Bass' cabin room. Bubble Bass wakes up, and he is in an UNUSUALLY good mood today. Bubble Bass says: "It's weird. But even despite the fact that Tigress now HATES everyone else on our team, and for a pretty good reason to, I somehow feel BETTER about myself than I have in years! I mean, General Barracuda is at least KIND of on my side now, Tigress has no reason to hate me, and no one on my team has any reason to target me. I am in a GOOD spot right now! I don't even REALLY feel sensitive over my body weight and body image anymore. I'm happy with who I am. I feel like the world is my oyster, with a great big pearl right inside it. In fact, I think I'm going to do something that I've never really done before; I'm going to EXERCISE before I take a shower!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass is wearing a towel and he says: "I hope Tigress isn't JUST trolling me, but she said that ALL that GREAT ancient GREEK athletes DID their wrestling...in the NUDE!!!!" (End Confessional) The camera switches to OUTSIDE of Bubble Bass' cabin, and Tigress and Po are taking a SNEAKY peek through the window! Tigress laughs, and she says: "I TOLD you HE'D ACTUALLY DO IT!" Po says: "What a NORK!" Tigress says: "A WHAT?!!!" Po says: "That's my combination word for somebody who's both a NERD and a DORK!" Tigress says: "Fascinating!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Why did I tell Bubble Bass that historically accurate, but somewhat WEIRD fact? Eh, it amused me!"

(End Confessional) Fee and Johnny Krill, the remaining Killer Prawns, are consulting with each other. Fee says: "Look, Johnny, we absolutely CAN'T blow today's challenge! Tigress is out LOOKING for blood. And if we LOSE today's challenge, ten to ONE, she's just going to FIND another Pendant of Life and eliminate one of us! We HAVE to win! If not for HER, than for US!" Johnny says: "I agree with you there, but HOW are we going to do that? Po's team seems to have a better team dynamic. And neither of us can come even CLOSE to matching Tigress' skills! And Bubble Bass...well, HE sure LUCKED out by NOT trying to betray Tigress. Cause otherwise, HE'D probably be the LOWEST man on the totem pole, metaphorically speaking!" Fee says: "Look, we simply have to AIM for the weakest link in Po's team! And who would THAT be?" Johnny says: "Theodore?" Fee says: "Exactly! Therefore, it is absolutely important that we focus ALL of our attention in TRYING to eliminate Theodore! We do that, the Power Pandas will be DOWN a player, and Tigress will have LESS reason to be angry at us!" Johnny says: "Girl, I LIKE the way you think!" (Confessional) Fee says: "Look, I HAD to come up with a PLAN to SAVE our SORRY butts, OKAY?! Johnny SURE wasn't going to come up with one; and if I talk to TIGRESS about it, she'd just STEAL the plan FROM ME, and try to TAKE ALL the credit for it, like she does EVERYTHING! I may just be ten, but I want MY due respect, and I'm GOING to get it! And Tigress is NOT going to get in the way of that!" / Johnny says: "I sure hope Fee's plan WORKS, because if not, I may have no CHOICE but to vote her off IF we lose. It's nothing personal, but frankly, I just HAVE a better shot of winning than she does! I have more experience and skill! That's why I'm going to outlast her! It's not because she's a woman, it's because she's an obstacle to my goal." (End Confessional)


Jenny and Danny, are holding a seance for the spirits inhabiting Danny's body. Danny says: "Say, Jenny. Are you SURE you know how to DO this?!" Jenny, is painted to look like Jeanie from "I Dream of Jeanie", and Jenny says: "Don't worry. I've seen the movie Poltergeist, and we're dealing with BENEVOLENT spirits here! Not evil ones! This will be a piece of cake; crumb cake!" Jenny stretches out her hands, and the two of them both focus their energies into a crystal ball. Jenny says: "Ancient spirits of the East Wind, lend us your voice, bring OUT the wandering spirits, and show them to our EYES!!!!" Stangely enough, a MINI Storm BREWS right in their hotel room, as dark clouds form, and LIGHTNING strikes the Crystal Ball! From Danny's body, OUT comes the GHOSTLY spirit forms of Rodney Dangerfield, Bette Davis, Marlon Brando, and Steve Irwin! Jenny says: "WOW! I got it right on the FIRST try! Usually, you have to pay EXTRA for that!" Rodney's ghost says: "What am I doing out here? Last thing I remember, I was having a wonderful dream where I ALMOST caught that meddling gopher from Caddyshack again!" Marlon's ghost says: "And I was dreaming that I was dispensing helpful advice to my son, in Superman the Movie again." Steve's ghost says: "And I was dreaming that I was living in a pineapple under the sea...oh, WAIT! I was just dreaming about Spongebob Squarepants again!" Bette says: "And I was dreaming about my times as a character actress, playing a white dwarf starlet in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? REALLY I was." Jenny says: "Attention, spirits! There is a REASON I have summoned you here! I have come to find out the reason why you linger in Danny Fenton! Why do you still roam the Earth? Tell me, and we shall help you find closure, and you may rest in peace!"
Rodney's Ghost says: "Well, I'm here because I'm looking for the RESPECT that I never GOT in life!" Marlon's Ghost says: "I'm here, because I'm looking to prove that I COULDA been a contender!" Steve's Ghost says: "I'm here, because I want to make sure that the wild animals of the world, are still being cared for in their wild habitats!" Bette's Ghost says: "Ordinarily, I'd say something SNARKY about Joan Crawford! But...seeing as how THAT point is rather moot, I'm here because I want one more chance to show the people my amazing talents. REALLY, I do!" Jenny says: "Okay, so, Rodney wants respect; Marlon wants to be a contender, Steve wants to protect the animals of the wild, and Bette wants to use her acting skills. So, if Danny finds a way to help you accomplish these things, will you be able to rest in peace?" Steve's Ghost says: "Crikey! Absolutely!" Danny says: "Well, I can help ONE of you right now! Steve, you have my word that once I'm done as a contestant, I'll return to Casper, and help protect the wild animals, in addition to stopping evil ghosts!" Steve's Ghost says: "You promise?"

Danny says: "Cross my heart, no matter WHAT kind of wild animal it is!" Steve's Ghost says: "Than I feel satisfied. I shall hang up my hat, and continue into the next life. But I'll give you something helpful. Danny, I shall endow you with all the strength and athletics that I had when I was alive, for being SO willing to help me! Remember, the power is YOURS!!!!" And Steve pours his energies into Danny, than disappears completely! Rodney's Ghost says: "Wait, could he SAY, 'The Power is Yours', you know, LEGALLY?" Marlon's Ghost says: "Well, since he OBVIOUSLY wasn't planning to make any money off of it, than, yes." Jenny says: "Well, that's ONE down. The rest of you...I guess you're just going to have to go back into Danny for now. We'll figure out how to help the rest of you later." Bette's Ghost says: "Don't make us wait too long, darling. As they say in Hollywood, 'The Show MUST Go ON'!!!!" And the three ghosts go back into Danny! Danny says: "Steve was RIGHT! I DO feel more athletic and muscular! Though, I can't imagine what the other ghosts could possibly offer me." Than everyone hears the "Pac-Man" arcade start-up music. Jenny says: "We'll worry about that later! I got to quickly scrub this paint off of me, and than we got to worry about this challenge we've got ahead of us!" (Confessional) Jenny has finished scrubbing herself off, and now looks back to normal. Jenny says: "Even though I normally deal with other robots, I was TOTALLY willing to help Danny out, if for no other reason than to restore a sense of normalcy into his life...well, normal as a boy who can turn into a PHANTOM can be, anyways!" / Danny says: "I'll tell you one thing, the Box Ghost, Ember, and all those other ghostly apparitions are going to be in for a BIG surprise when I get back to Casper!" (End Confessional) The contestants arrive in front of the cafeteria. Private says: "I'm so EXCITED for today's challenge!" Kowalski says: "I am to. Statistically, the odds are EVER in our favor, and I do so LOVE playing to the odds--um, NOT that YOU'RE odd...I mean--OH, you KNOW what I mean!"

Marlene comes out, and she says: "Welcome contestants, AND two of my favorite penguins! Today's challenge is a VERY special challenge, dedicated to the competitive sport of, VIDEO GAMES!!!!" Fee sarcastically says: "FINALLY! A challenge that plays to Bubble Bass' ONE GOOD skill area!" Bubble Bass says: "You WISH you were HALF as good at Super Smash Bros. Ultimate as I am!" Marlene says: "Our first part of the challenge is inspired by the maze game! Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, and other maze games like that! The two teams will send four of their best players into the maze, where they will have to find SEVEN different types of fruit; a Cherry, a Strawberry, an Orange, a Peach, an Apple, a Pear, and a Banana! But watch out; there are two MENACING chompers, known as Earl and Spunky from Rocko's Modern Life, patrolling the maze, and if they CHOMP you, you'll have to go BACK to home base WITHOUT your fruits!" Theodore says: "First time I've ever HEARD of 'Chomp', being used in a NEGATIVE matter!" Marlene says: "Each of you counts as a life in this game. So, whoever gets all the fruit FIRST, or, whoever collects the MOST fruit by the end of this part of the challenge, will receive a distinct advantage in the next part of the challenge. Power Pandas, since you have two more members than the Killer Prawns, two of you will have to sit this part of the challenge out." Fee gasps, and she says, with BAD, BAD, ACTING: "Oh, NO! Don't put out Theodore and Danny! HELP us, that you don't send out ANYONE like Theodore and Danny!" Johnny CLEARLY does a frustrated face-palm! (Confessional) Johnny says: "Is THAT the BEST that girl can ACT?!!!" / Fee says: "Apparently, I work much better WITH a script, and NOT trying to ad lib it like I did right there!" (End Confessional) Yet SOMEHOW, Po FALLS for the bluff! Po sarcastically says: "THANKS for the ADVICE, because I AM going to send Theodore and Danny out! Private and Kowalski, you go out to! You'll see that our team is SO superior, even I don't PERSONALLY have to be IN a challenge, just to help our team win it!" And Tigress chuckles with glee! (Confessional) Tigress says: "Fee's plan sure seems to be a long shot one, but its WORKING on my boyfriend! Than again, only HE would fall for something as stilted as THAT performance! But just remember THIS, Fee; if YOUR plan fails, than YOU'LL be the one facing an Elimination Ceremony!" (She pulls out ANOTHER Pendant of Life!) Tigress says: "I found MY winner's insurance behind a tile in the woman's bathroom, DOOFUS!!!!" (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "Okay, so Po and Jenny will be sitting this part of the challenge out! We'll see what happens WITHIN this part of the challenge! Marlene, you know what to do!" Marlene says: "Players, head to the home base in the middle of the maze!" (They rush to the middle of the maze, but Tigress NOTABLY STOPS at every BLIND CORNER, and takes TIME to make CLAW marks in the side of the maze wall, to let HER team know which way to LOOK!) General Barracuda says: "Release the hounds! Heh-heh, I ALWAYS wanted to SAY that!" And Earl and Spunky are relased from their cages! Marlene says: "On your marks, get set--!" And the "Ms. Pac-Man" start-up music plays! Marlene says: "GO!!!!" (While the contestants are rushing through the maze, the Aerosmith hit song "Living On the Edge" plays).

Steven Tyler sings: "There's something wrong with the world today, I don't know what it is. Something's wrong with our eyes. We're seeing things in a different way, and God knows it ain't his. It sure ain't no surprise. Living on the edge! Living on the edge! Living on the edge! Living on the edge! There's something wrong with the world today, the light bulb's getting dim. There's meltdown in the sky. If you can judge a wise man, by the color of his skin; then mister, you're a better man than I. Living on the edge! You can't help yourself from falling! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself at all! Living on the edge! You can't stop yourself from falling! Living on the edge! Tell me what you think about your sit-u-a-tion. Complication, aggravation is getting to you. If Chicken Little tells you that the sky is falling, even if it wasn't, would you still come crawling back again? I bet you would, my friend. Again & again & again & again & again. (Instrumental solo, during which, Private, Kowalski, Johnny, and Fee all wind up getting chomped by either Earl or Spunky). Tell me what you think about your sit-u-a-tion. Complication, aggravation is getting to you. If Chicken Little tells you that the sky is falling, even if it was, would you still come crawling back again? I bet you would, my friend. Again & again & again & again. Something right with the world today, and everybody knows it's wrong! But we can tell them no, or we could let it go. But I'd would rather be a hanging on! (Silence, drums start back up again) Living on the edge! You can't help yourself from falling! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself at all! Living on the edge! You can't stop yourself from falling! Living on the edge! Living on the edge! Living on the edge! Living on the edge! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself from falling! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself at all! Living on the edge! You can't stop yourself from falling! Living on the edge! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself! You can't help yourself! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself at all! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself! You can't help yourself! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself! You can't help yourself! Living on the edge! You can't help yourself from falling! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" / And the song ends as BOTH Bubble Bass and Theodore have managed to collect ALL the fruit WITHOUT being chomped! / Marlene says: "Well, this IS a surprise! It looks like WE have a TIE! Both the Power Pandas and the Killer Prawns FINISHED collecting all their fruit at the EXACT same time! It looks like we're have to go to the SECOND portion of our challenge to determine WHO will be today's winner!" Sniz says: "You are certainly right, Marlene! And we will do so, RIGHT after some important messages from our sponsors!" (Commercial Break, I'll break here, and stop for now. Enough said, for now!)

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I'm feeling generous, so I won't make my potential fans wait forever for the second and final part of my latest episode of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back"! "Living On The Edge" shall continue, right now! / After the commercial break is over, the contestants are looking at a VERY familiar looking building, that is approxiamentally .0125 miles high, but it has no exterior walls, and it's just a bunch of ramps and ladders, some NOT even fully built, connected together, with a large pedastal at the top, obviously to hold someone or SOMETHING very heavy! Tigress asks: "Now what the HECK is THIS thing supposed to be?!" Bubble Bass is aghast, and he asks: "Are you even from this PLANET?!!! Don't you RECOGNIZE a Donkey Kong BUILDING reference when you SEE one?!" Tigress says: "Well, excuse ME for not WASTING half of my life, filling MY brain with POINTLESS trivia about history, pop culture, video games, and stuff!" Bubble Bass says: "The stuff I've filled MY brain with isn't 'Pointless'. Why, just knowing a HANDFUL of the stuff I know, could net you on AVERAGE, about $44,440 a night on 'Jeopardy', depending on the categories and how much you successfully wager on the Daily Doubles and Final Jeopardy of course!" Sniz says: "Bubble Bass is ABSOLUTELY correct, of course! This IS a Donkey Kong building reference, and the second and FINAL part of today's challenge, resides in getting to the top, and rescuing a damsel in distress!" Fee says: "Hold it, I may be a damsel, but there's no WAY that either Tigress or I are going to be in distress!" Sniz says: "Not to worry, you won't HAVE to! That's why we brought in a guest to fill in that position for you. Back for MORE fun and mayhem, here's Lil Deville AND Stimpy!" Lil walks back into view HAPPILY, waving at everyone exuberantly, but Stimpy is nowhere to be seen! Sniz says: "Uh, Marlene, WHERE'S Stimpy? He's supposed to BE here!" Marlene nervously says: "Uh, Stimpy isn't EXACTLY in the BEST of MOODS to come out here right now." Sniz asks: "Why ever not?"


Lil says: "Uh...Ren and Stimpy kind of broke up!" Everyone shockingly says: "WHAT?!!!!" Lil says: "Stimpy HAD to! Ren ALMOST hit Stimpy's kids for NO good reason!!!!" Fee says: "Wow. And I thought that MY parents weren't role models." Stimpy finally appears, and he's looking REALLY down. Stimpy says: "I can't believe Ren could BE so horrid! I thought I had finally changed him! But every time I THINK the relationship is going to work, he just turns TOXIC again! I couldn't take it anymore. So after he nearly hit my kids, he went to take a shower. I told Lil to grab everything of ours that she could, and bolt the HECK out of St. George! I called the cops on Ren, but we didn't stick around to see what they did to him. If they EVER let Ren out of jail, he's no longer ALLOWED in California! As far as I'm concerned, Ren is an UNPERSON to me!" Private says: "But I thought you LOVED him!" Kowalski says: "Precisely. Ren HELPED make your career." Stimpy says: "While both of those things are true; I do LOVE the good times we HAVE together, but even someone like ME has to realize at some point that no matter how MUCH work that I put into the relationship, it's NOT going to work out if Ren just keeps SLIPPING into the SAME toxic masculinity vibes over and over again. The only good thing about breaking up with Ren, for GOOD this time, is that I did it before he COULD do any lasting damage to my kids. My kids deserve to be raised in a BETTER environment than the one that REN was raised in. I did all I could to try to accomodate Ren's behavior; but eventually, you have to know when to fold them. And that's what I did. I left Ren, and I'm never going back again." And inexplicably, the music to Roxette's "Must Have Been Love" begins playing in the background, as a montage of all the good times Ren and Stimpy have together, plays on the screen. /


Roxette sings: "(It must have been love but it's over now). Lay a whisper on my pillow. Leave the winter on the ground. I wake up lonely, there's air of silence. In the bedroom and all around. Touch me now, I close my eyes and dream away. It must have been love but it's over now. It must have been good but I lost it somehow. It must have been love, but it's over now. From the moment we touched, 'til the time had run out. Make-believing we're together. That I'm sheltered by your heart. But in and outside, I've turned to water, like a teardrop in your palm. And it's a hard winter's day, I dream away. It must have been love, but it's over now. It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without. It must have been love, but it's over now! It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows. (Instrumental Solo) It must have been love, but it's over now! It must have been good, but I lost it somehow. It must have been love, but it's over now! From the moment we touched, 'til the time had run out! Yeah, it must have been love, but it's over now! It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without! It must have been love, but it's over now! It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows! Yeah! (Must have been love, but it's over now!) (Must have been love, but it's over now!)" / And the song and the montage ends! / Danny says: "Wow! Stimpy broke up with Ren BEFORE he could've broken up with Lil! I did NOT see that coming!" Bubble Bass says: "That is what is commonly referred to as 'Irony'. It's the things we often DON'T expect to happen, that DO end up happening, even if we wish it DIDN'T happen!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Seven years ago, my father went out on a shopping trip for me and my mom. He NEVER came back. We later found out, that through NO fault of his own, he had been CAUGHT by a fisherman's hook. So, I guess maybe the reason why I've occasionally done some not so upright things to Spongebob and Patrick, is because I was jealous that THEY still had their fathers, while I didn't! I'm not saying it was right, because it wasn't. That was just my reason for it."


(End Confessional) Po comforts a still VERY sad Stimpy. Po says: "Don't worry, buddy. You're with REAL friends now! Friends who DON'T have a toxic personality, and won't treat you like dirt at any given time! We'll help you through this, and you'll find out what a TRUE friend looks like!" Stimpy sniffles, and he says: "Thank you, I needed that." Marlene says: "So, are you going to be all right watching Lil participate in this challenge?" Stimpy asks: "It's going to be a safe challenge, right?" General Barracuda says: "If it's NOT a completely safe challenge, than I hope that JUSTIN BIEBER gets STRUCK by lightning!" Anti-Cosmo appears, and poofs up a television, and Juandissimo Magnifico says: "And in related news, Justin Beiber has JUST been STRUCK by LIGHTNING!!!!" General Barracuda yells: "Oh, YEAH?!!! Well, who asked YOU?!!!!" And he GRABS the television and SMASHES it over Anti-Cosmo's head! Anti-Cosmo says: "Okay, maybe that WAS going a little bit TOO far!" Fondue says: "The challenge WILL be safe! I've seen to it!" Lil says: "If Fondue gives his word, than I'm okay with it!" Kowalski asks: "By the way, where ARE your kids right now?" Lil says: "Not to worry, my brother PHIL is taking care of them!" (Gilligan cut) Phil, Stimpy Jr. and Ricky are watching "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie: Sponge Out of Water" on Blu-Ray. Phil says: "FINALLY!!!! After more than THREE seasons of NOT getting any SCREEN-TIME on this series, I FINALLY get a CAMEO!!!! I really GOT to get a better AGENT than the one I have now!" (End Cut) Lil climbs the building, and goes all the way to the top. Sniz says: "So, this challenge, whichever of you chooses to accept it, will revolve around you, climbing to the top of this building, and rescuing Lil Deville." Tigress sarcastically says: "Oh, and here comes the catch." Sniz says: "And here comes the catch! Lil will be guarded by none other, than General Barracuda! Which honestly, isn't much of a STRETCH for him!" General Barracuda laughs, and he says: "What can I say? I know what I'm good at, and I do it really WELL!"


Sniz says: "General Barracuda will be sending an endless magical supply of barrels down at you. You can either jump over the barrels, or break them with a hammer. But there are only two of them located on the structure, so use these hammers wisely! You have only five minutes to get to the top of the building, KNOCK General Barracuda onto the safety cushion below, and save Lil Deville. She claims this is practice for if they EVER do another re-make of King Kong anytime soon, Lil wants to be familiar with the type of experience she might face for her audition! Now, the question remains, which contestants will risk the climb for their team? You have five minutes to decide!" / Theodore goes to Brittany, and he says: "Brittany, that structure is structurally sound, isn't it?" Brittany says: "Of course it is, I designed the blueprints myself, and supervised the construction. Why do you ask?" Theodore says: "Well, I was hoping that I would be able to get the chance to SAVE you, the way I wasn't able to before you got eliminated. But I don't know if I can take on a challenge like that if I don't have you to motivate me." Brittany asks: "Why do you even want to take ON that challenge anyways?" Theodore says: "Isn't it obvious?! I NEED to do something to IMPRESS you! And my team! I know what they think of me! They think I'm a big eater who's a bunch of DEAD weight! But I've seen what Bubble Bass is DOING! He's making a REALLY good effort at proving himself to his team! If he can step up to the plate, than I've GOT to do the same!" Brittany says: "Well, if you're going to INSIST upon doing this, I'll give you a piece of advice. Don't focus on the fact that it's Lil Deville you've got to save. Just pretend it's ME up there, and you should have ALL the motivation that you NEED to win the challenge!" Theodore asks: "Do you REALLY think it will work?" Brittany says: "Perhaps THIS will give you a little incentive!" And she KISSES Theodore on the nose! Brittany says: "Do you believe in yourself now?" Theodore dreamily says: "I do! I do! I truly, really DO!!!!"


(Confessional) Theodore says: "At first, I fell in love with Brittany because she was pretty. But now I know, she has a smart, and a SWEET side to her as well! She TRULY believes in me! So now there's NO WAY I can FAIL the challenge for her NOW!" / Brittany says: "I do have a smart side, and a sweet side! But you know how journalists can get! They are SO obsessed over what you're wearing, how you're wearing it, WHERE you are wearing it, and what is the latest pet that you GOT! They are SO shallow, they don't even want to get to KNOW the REAL you, so, you don't even BOTHER trying to act like you're something deep or sweet, because they're NOT interested in it! But without my entourage around, I feel like I can finally be myself for the first time in a long time. It's nice to do something nice for someone else for a change!" / Fee says: "Brittany is playing into my plan BETTER than I thought! Theodore may have the INCENTIVE to win, but I DOUBT that he has the skills! Respect shall soon be MINE! Nothing personal, Theodore! It's just the nature of the game!" (End Confessional) Theodore says: "I volunteer as tribute...I mean, I volunteer, to play for my team!" Private says: "Are you SURE you want to do this?! You're not exactly the most athletic, you know!" Theodore says: "You don't KNOW what I'm capable of! I'm TIRED of being the guy that everyone takes for granted! I'll PROVE that I've got what it takes!" Kowalski shrugs his shoulders, and he says: "All right, suit yourself." (Confessional) Kowalski says: "Honestly, it would take a REAL miracle for Theodore to pull out a win for us in THIS challenge!" / Private says: "Kowalski and I may only have flippers, but I think that even WE would have a better chance in THIS challenge than Theodore does! But, if Theodore is willing to put HIS game on the line for Brittany, far be it for me and Kowalski to try to stop him." (End Confessional) Sniz says: "It's settled, then! Theodore shall play for the Power Pandas! Now, who will the Killer Prawns, pick?"


Tigress says: "Isn't it OBVIOUS?! I've got this challenge in the bag!" Danny jerks into being Rodney Dangerfield, and he says: "Here we go AGAIN!!!!" Tigress says: "What is THAT supposed to mean?!" Danny jerks into being Bette Davis, and he says: "It means, that just like Joan Crawford, you're running the WHOLE gamut of emotions, from A, to...B!!!!" Tigress says: "Are you saying that I'm the ONLY capable contestant on OUR team?!" Johnny says: "At least she said, 'OUR' team, this time!" Danny jerks into being Marlon Brando, and he says: "That's precisely what I AM saying, and I bet YOUR Pendant of Life, that NO one else on your team can do BETTER than Theodore!" Tigress gasps, and she says: "How did YOU know that I HAD a Pendant of Life?!" Fee says: "BECAUSE you just TOLD us, FATHEAD!!!!" (Confessional) Fee says: "Yeah, I'm probably going to PAY for that comment later, but it was WORTH IT!!!!" / Tigress says: "CURSE my inability to lie! If I could've lied to him, he would NEVER...it MAKES no DIFFERENCE! MY team will STILL beat his!" / Johnny says: "Well, that was a nice 50 seconds of it being 'OUR' team while it lasted." / Danny says: "Tigress' biggest weakness is, that she can't fool ANYONE, and she KNOWS it, to! Lying is BENEATH her, and she WON'T break that taboo, because of her high standards! So, if her team loses, she'll HAVE to use that pendant to save herself. And with it in play again, she'll have to find it again. And it won't be as easy, since the rest of us will be on the lookout for it, as well!" (End Confessional) Tigress says: "I'll SHOW you! MY team is going to win fair and square!" Fee says: "You're...not even TRYING to be subtle about YOUR desire to win anymore, are you?" Johnny asks: "Was she really EVER, though?" Tigress says: "I HEARD that, but just so YOU two believe me, I'll let BUBBLE Bass play for our team!" Bubble Bass asks: "Are you CRAZY?!!!" Tigress says: "Come on! You're a video game expert! This is your field of expertise!" Bubble Bass says: "Physical exercise and me, DON'T really mix well!"


Tigress says: "But we're in an alliance together, which sometimes means DOING things you might not want to do, to help out in a challenge!" Sniz says: "Speaking of challenge, this challenge is BOTH a reward AND an elimination challenge! Two for the PRICE of one! The player who wins THIS part of the challenge, as a reward, will be allowed to have a family member of their choice, join them for the NEXT elimination challenge that we have! It might be VERY helpful to you!" Theodore says: "Oh, I could have SIMON'S brains to help me at last!" Bubble Bass says: "It would be nice to SHOW my mom just how much better I've gotten at being...productive. All right, I'll do it. Not because we're in an alliance, but to show THEM, that I am the King of Kong, and I can say that, because I'm not planning to make any money off of it! The thing of it is, I don't know HOW I'm going to do it." General Barracuda whispers to Bubble Bass, and General Barracuda says: "Hey, come here." Bubble Bass goes over to General Barracuda, and Bubble Bass says: "What do you want?" General Barracuda says: "Look, normally, I don't associate with contestants. Most of the time, I barely even tolerate them. But looking at you, there's something about you that's...different. I mean, it's not just ANYBODY who can knock a tooth out of me, and YOU did it without even TRYING! That takes skills!" Bubble Bass says: "You think I'm SKILLED?! That's the most surprising compliment I have ever heard!" General Barracuda says: "I don't normally do this, but I kind of like you, so I'll make an exception. I'll go EASY on you when you climb to rescue Lil, but you got to do something for ME in return!" Bubble Bass groans, and he says: "Oh, no! What do I have to DO?!!!" General Barracuda says: "You have to star in a shot-for-shot remake of the Robert Palmer music video, 'Addicted to Love', for my OWN personal amusement!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh! Is THAT all I have to do?! For a second, I was worried that you were going to ask me to donate part of my LIVER to you, or something!"


General Barracuda says: "Don't even JOKE about something like that! I'm not even SURE if we would be compatible MATCHES with each other, or not!" Bubble Bass says: "You could always take a blood test or something, and find out!" General Barracuda asks: "Whatever for?! I tried being committed to someone else, and it ended up COSTING my dear Ambrosia her LIFE!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "But Master Coelaceanth is LONG gone now! Surely, you can LOVE again! If I can find somebody to love, surely you can do it, again!" General Barracuda says: "I wouldn't know where to start. I mean, I don't know of ANYBODY else out there, who would want to be with me. Pearl and Craig had to suffer without their REAL father because I trusted the wrong guy. I don't want to see someone like YOU, making the same mistakes I made!" Bubble Bass says: "I highly doubt THAT would happen, I just don't have the physical skills that you do." General Barracuda says: "Don't worry about it. Personally, I think you're FINE the way you are, and don't let ANYBODY tell you different! Now, you go out there, and PROVE to everyone that even the most unlikliest of fish, can become a hero if they want to!" Bubble Bass says: "Don't worry, General Barracuda, I will!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "On the one hand, I'm kind of glad that General Barracuda likes me. On the other hand, I'm a little disappointed. I was kind of hoping he could become a replacement father for me. I could use a positive male influence in my life. After all, if I'm going to be a good husband to Blonda, I could use someone, to show me how it's done! I don't want to BLOW it with Blonda, she may be the only chance I GET with someone!" / General Barracuda says: "Truthfully, I don't think Bubble Bass would understand, but it just wouldn't work! After all, once you've LOST someone like Ambrosia, why would you want to put ANYONE else through the ordeal that Pearl and Craig went through? Even though Master Coelaceanth is gone, there's no WAY I'm going to make THAT mistake again! It's for the good of everybody!" (End Confessional)


Bubble Bass goes back to the other contestants, and he says: "Okay! I volunteer to play for my team!" Sniz says: "It's settled then! Each player will have five minutes to rescue Lil Deville from General Barracuda! General, are you ready?" General Barracuda climbs up the ladders to the tune of the "Donkey Kong" start-up music to the top of the building, and General Barracuda says: "Always!" Sniz says: "Whoever gets to Lil Deville the fastest, will win the challenge for their team. Since the Power Pandas won the last elimination challenge, they shall go first. Theodore, are you ready?" Theodore says: "As ready as I'll ever be!" Marlene says: "Than on your mark, get SET...!" (Blows whistle!) Marlene shouts: "GO!!!!"


During Theodore's attempted climb up the tower, he wields a hammer, but it is HEAVIER than he anticipated, and he can't SWING it very well, and he KEEPS getting knocked DOWN by barrels, all while a FAMILIAR song by The Beatles, plays in the background. Namely, "Maxwell's Silver Hammer". / Paul sings: "Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical science in the home. Late nights all alone with a test-tube, ohh, oh, oh, oh. Maxwell Edison majoring in medicine, calls her on the phone. Can I take you out to the pictures, Joan? But as she's getting ready to go, a knock comes on the door. Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer came down on her head. Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer made sure she was dead. Back in school again, Maxwell plays the fool again. Teacher gets annoyed. Wishing to avoid an unpleasant scene, she tells Max to stay when the class has gone away, so he waits behind. Writing 50 times 'I must not be so', oh, oh, oh. But when she turns her back on the boy. He creeps up from behind. Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer came down on her head. Do, do, do, do, do. Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead! Woah, oh! (Moog Synthesizer solo) P.C. Thirty-One, said 'We caught a dirty one', Maxwell stands alone. Painting testimonial pictures; ohh, oh, oh, oh. Rose and Valerie screaming from the gallery, say he must go free. The judge does not agree and he tells them so; oh, oh, oh. But as the words were leaving his lips, a noise comes from behind. Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer came down on his head. Do, do, do, do, do. Bang, Bang, Maxwell's silver hammer made sure he was dead. Wow, wow, wow, oh! (Moog Synthesizer solo) Do, do, do, do, do. Silver hammer!" / And the song ends as time runs out for Theodore, with him having BARELY gotten even half-way up the building! Sniz says: "Time is up! Theodore was unable to rescue Lil! So now, Bubble Bass will have a chance to prove himself! If he doesn't rescue Lil, we will simply go to a tie-breaker question to determine the winner. Hopefully, it won't have to come to that. Bubble Bass, are you ready?" Bubble Bass says: "Practically BORN that way!" Marlene says: "Than on your mark, get set...!" (Blows whistle!) Marlene shouts: "Go!" Bubble Bass ALSO makes his way up the tower with a hammer. Yet surprisingly, he finds LITTLE difficulty holding his hammer, and is able to swing it QUITE proficiently! And he makes his way up the tower, all to the familiar tune of the M.C. Hammer song, "Can't Touch This." /

M.C. Hammer sings: "You can't touch this. You can't touch this. You can't touch this. You can't touch this. You can't touch this. My, my, my, my music hits me so hard! Makes me say, 'Oh, my Lord; thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hype feet.' It feels good, when you know you're down. A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown. And I'm known as such. And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch! I told you homeboy, you can't touch this. Yeah, that's how we living and you know you can't touch this! Look in my eyes, man, you can't touch this! Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics, you can't touch this! Fresh new kicks, and pants! You gotta like that, now you know you wanna dance! So move, outta your seat, and get a fly girl and catch this beat! While it's rolling, hold on! Pump a little bit and let 'em know it's going on! Like that, like that! Cold on a mission so fall on back! Let 'em know, that you're too much! And this is a beat, uh, they can't touch! Yo, I told you; you can't touch this! Why you standing there, man? You can't touch this! Yo, sound the bell, school is in sucker, you can't touch this! Give me a song, or rhythm. Make 'em sweat, that's what I'm giving 'em now, they know; you talking about the Hammer you talking about a show. That's hyped, and tight! Singers are sweating so pass them a wipe. Or a tape, to learn, what's it gonna take in the 90s to burn. The charts? Legit! Either work hard or you might as well quit! That's word because you know...You can't touch this! You can't touch this. You can't touch this. Break it down! (Instumental Solo) Stop! Hammer time! Go with the flow, it is said; if you can't groove to this then you probably are dead! So wave your hands in the air. Bust a few moves, run your fingers through your hair! This is it, for a winner. Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner! Move, slide your rump! Just for a minute let's all do the bump, bump, bump, bump! Yeah...you can't touch this! Look, man, you can't touch this! You better get hype, boy, because you know you can't, you can't touch this! Ring the bell, school's back in. Break it down! (Instrumental Solo) Stop! Hammer time! You can't touch this. You can't touch this. You can't touch this. You can't touch this. Break it down! (Instrumental Solo) Stop! Hammer time! Every time you see me, the Hammer's just so hype! I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the mike. Now why would I ever stop doing this? With others making records that just don't hit. I've toured around the world, from London to the Bay. It's 'Hammer, go Hammer, MC Hammer, yo Hammer' and the rest can go and play! You can't touch this. You can't touch this. You can't touch this. Yeah, you can't touch this. I told you; you can't touch this! Too hype! Can't touch this! Yeah, we outta here! Can't touch this!" /

And the song ends as Bubble Bass KNOCKS General Barracuda off the tower onto the safety cushion, saving Lil Deville with seconds to spare! Sniz says: "And it's over! It's all over! The Killer Prawns have won the challenge!" Tigress says: "Too bad for YOU, Danny Fenton, looks like I will be KEEPING my Pendant!" Danny says: "For now, at least!" Sniz says: "Bubble Bass, since you have won the challenge, you get to choose for your reward, which family member you want to have visit you during the next challenge." Bubble Bass says: "Well, unless I invite my mother, I won't be able to invite ANYBODY. So it HAS to be her!" Sniz says: "Very well, then! Fondue will get her travel accomodations ready, and she will be here in time for the next challenge!"

Stimpy says: "Thank you, Bubble Bass, for rescuing Lil." Bubble Bass says: "Don't mention it. And I know, it's not easy to lose someone the way you did. But eventually, you have to reach 'Acceptance' in the Five Stages of Grief, and move on." Stimpy says: "Don't worry, I will!" General Barracuda says: "Bubble Bass, don't forget YOUR end of the bargain!" Bubble Bass says: "I know! I'm coming!" Sniz turns to the Power Pandas, and Sniz says: "Power Pandas, what can I say? Today was NOT your best challenge performance! Tonight, you'll decide which one of you will take the dreaded Slingshot of Shame!" (Confessioanl) Theodore sighs, and he says: "This is it! THIS IS IT!!!! My stay as a contestant is OVER!!!! I let Brittany down! I let my family down! I let my TEAM down! But worst of all, I let myself down! No WONDER they didn't pick Alvin for this! He would've had a MELTDOWN if he failed the way I have!" / Private says: "Ordianarily, I would say it was all over except the shouting. However, I refuse to say anything, lest fate should prove otherwise. Foresight, it's a handy thing to have in a game like this." / Po says: "I can't BELIEVE I fell for such a STUPID ploy! Tigress would have NEVER fallen for such a STUPID stunt like that! But I can't let this get me down! I have to LEARN from my experience, and grow as a BETTER leader for it! My team deserves NOTHING less than my absolute best!" (End Confessional) It is night-time, and the Power Pandas are at the campfire! Sniz says: "Welcome back to the Elimination Ceremony. You know the drill. Choose which contestant you want to vote off, and we'll let the votes speak for themselves!"


(Confessional) Po puts an X over Theodore's card! Po says: "Technically speaking, it IS your fault that we are here tonight! Nothing personal, you understand!" / Jenny puts an X over Theodore's card. Jenny says: "Sorry! You're nice, but nice isn't enough to help us win in challenges! You have to go!" / Private puts an X over Theodore's card. Private says: "I'm just glad that Kowalski and I aren't on the chopping block tonight!" / Kowalski puts an X over Theodore's card. Kowalski says: "Thank you for making tonight's decision SO easy for us!" / Danny looks nervously at the cards. Danny says: "I feel SO guilty for making that STUPID bet with Tigress! That was really LOUSY of me! But if I don't vote off Theodore, I won't have a chance to prove myself as a contender, or win any respect! I have no choice!" And he puts an X over Theodore's card. Danny says: "Sorry, man!" / Theodore sighs and says: "It's probably a moot point, but I have to vote for Danny for making that STUPID bet with Tigress!" And Theodore puts an X over Danny's card. Theodore says: "I've done all I can do!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Voting is over, it's time to reveal, who gets the safe marshmallows tonight! Po! Jenny, Private, Kowalski!" Danny and Theodore both stare nervously, knowing that only ONE of them will emerge victorious! Sniz says: "Contestants, this is the FINAL safe marshmallow for the evening. And it goes to...DANNY!!!!" Brittany says: "DUCK, THEODORE!!!!" Theodore quickly does so, and the Anti-Fairy Marshmallow goes SAILING over his head, and inexplicably HITS Anti-Cosmo with an ELECTRICAL surge!!!! Anti-Cosmo says: "YOW!!!! I haven't felt THAT electric since the last time I went to an AC/DC concert!" Sniz says: "Theodore, your team has spoken! Pack up your bags and leave!" /


Theodore has his stuff ready, and is about to get equipped for his ride on the Slingshot of Shame. Brittany comes running up, and she says: "Theodore, wait!" Theodore sighs, and says: "I know. You're here because you want to break up with me for failing you. Go ahead, I deserve it." Brittany says: "Actually, I wanted to say I'M sorry! It's all MY fault you're leaving tonight! If I hadn't have convinced you to compete for your team, you probably wouldn't be IN this predicament right now!" Theodore says: "It's not, entirely your fault. You had no way of knowing that General Barracuda was THAT good at rolling barrels!" Brittany says: "I know. I'm just sorry that you have to leave because of that." Theodore says: "It's all right. At least I lasted longer than I thought I would." Brittany says: "And if it's any consolation, we'll be together after the season is over." Theodore says: "Thank you, Brittany. That means a lot to me." And Brittany gives Theodore another kiss on the nose. Theodore puts his safety gear on, and gets in the slingshot. Theodore says: "Good luck, you guys! The game's not over yet!" General Barracuda says: "It is for YOU, though!" And he activates the slingshot! Theodore is launched, and he screams: "BYE!!!!" Sniz says: "Five down, and nine to go! The competition is heating up, and the margin for error is growing slimmer all the time! The next challenge promises to be more exciting and more thrilling than the last! Anything can happen on the next episode of, 'Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!' I SO rock this show!" / Epilogue: Bubble Bass is dressed up like Robert Palmer, and is surrounded by Pearl, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, Karen, and Girly Teengirl, who are all done up in Kabuki make-up and black clothes, as they play back-up music for Bubble Bass, as Bubble Bass sings, "Addicted to Love," in a shot for shot re-make of the same music video that Robert Palmer did! /


Bubble Bass sings: "Your lights are on, but you're not home. Your mind is not your own. Your heart sweats, your body shakes. Another kiss is what it takes. You can't sleep, No! You can't eat. There's no doubt, you're in deep. Your throat is tight, you can't breathe! Another kiss is all you need! Ohh, oohh! You like to think that you're immune to the stuff...oh, yeah! It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough! You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love! You see the signs, but you can't read! You're runnin' at a different speed. Your heart beats in double time! Another kiss and you'll be mine! A one track mind! You can't be saved! Oblivion is all you crave! If there's some left for you, you don't mind if you do. Ohh, oohh. You like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah! It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough! You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! (Instrumental Solo) Your lights are on, but you're not home! Your will is not your own! Your heart sweats, and teeth grind. Another kiss, and you'll be mine! Ohh, oohh! You like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah! It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough! You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love! Might as well face it, you're addicted to love!" / And General Barracuda shouts: "CUT!!!! That's a wrap!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Thank goodness for THAT!!!!" And just as Bubble Bass says that, the Tight clothes he is wearing can no longer STAND the strain of being ON him, and RIP OFF, and the pieces fly in every single direction! The girls get a look at the EYE Candy, and wolf-whistle! Bubble Bass nervously says: "Uh, I HOPE you're NOT going to need YOUR old high school prom dance outfit back, like, EVER!!!!" /

Episode Notes: Featured songs in this episode include "Jump; Living On the Edge; Must Have Been Love; Maxwell's Silver Hammer; U Can't Touch This;" and "Addicted to Love". Stimpy and Lil guest star in this episode, and it's found out that Stimpy has officially broken up with Ren for good, due to the latter's toxic masculinity, and for once THREATENING to hit Stimpy's children. Danny gains Steve Irwin's abilities in this episode, for promising to take care of the wild animals for him. Video game references include "Pac-Man; Ms. Pac-Man;" and the original "Donkey Kong". Theodore is eliminated in this episode, thus eliminating all the representatives of "Alvinnnn!!!! And the Chipmunks" from this show! Eliminated Contestants: 14. Bessie Higgenbottom ("The Mighty B!") 13. Brittany Miller ("Alvinnnn!!!! And the Chipmunks") 12. Rico ("The Penguins of Madagascar") 11. Katarra ("Avatar: The Last Airbender") 10. Theodore Seville (Alvinnnn!!!! And the Chipmunks"). Remaining contestants: Bubble Bass (Killer Prawn), Danny Fenton (Power Panda), Fee (Killer Prawn), Jenny Wakeman (Power Panda), Johnny Krill (Killer Prawn), Kowalski (Power Panda), Po (Power Panda), Private (Power Panda), and Tigress (Killer Prawn). /


Personal Notes: The reason why I wrote Stimpy breaking up with Ren, is due to the fact that I found out the TRUE nature of what their creator was like, and how far LOW down he truly was as a person! Since I don't even want to DIGNIFY him by saying his name, let's just say that since he DID voice Ren, it really wasn't that much of a stretch, to transfer what he did, to Ren's character. Even though "Ren and Stimpy" did a lot to help shape the cartoon industry today, I can't ignore what their creator has become, and what he has done to people. That's why I HAD to have Stimpy realize the kind of character Ren truly was! Eventually, even if you WANT a realtionship to work, it's only GOING to work if the other person wants it to work in a healthy, responsible matter. And sometimes, you have to realize that sometimes, a relationship isn't going to work out EVEN if you wanted it to, and that it's better to cut your losses sooner, than keep waiting around and let the toxic influence keep poisoning you AND any family you might have! At least Stimpy still has Lil to care for him. As for Theodore, he really had no point left to contribute to this season, so he had to be the next one on the chopping block. I hope you enjoyed reading this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

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Sometimes, I find it HARD to believe that I'm still doing this, even if it's mostly for my own amusement. Hopefully, there are others who are finding amusement from this as well. Anyways, enough about MY personal thoughts, let's get to what you (Hopefully) want to read! Another episode of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" / Sniz is in the monitor control room, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, it was a retro video game day challenge for the ten remaining contestants, and when I say that they were LITERALLY playing this challenge like their entire GAME depended on it, I mean that LITERALLY played this challenge like their entire game depended on it; because truthfully speaking, it probably DID depend on it! Danny found out that the famous spirits who were inhabiting his body, were doing so, because they had unfinished business, and he promised to help out in any way he could. He would give THEM a peace of mind, so HE could have a peace of mind! Meanwhile, Theodore Seville, FINALLY decided to step up to the challenge, and PROVE that he could compete with the best of them, thanks to a little incentive from Miss Brittany Miller! Unfortunately, Theodore found out the hard way, that incentive can only take you so far, and he got knocked out of the challenge. While who should win the challenge of ALL contestants, except for Bubble Bass?! Looks like the guy has LITERALLY got game, in more ways than one! At the Power Pandas Elimination Ceremony, it was to almost nobody's surprise, that Theodore Seville, got the unceremonious boot, out of the game, via the dreaded Slingshot of Shame. Only nine contestants remain, and the action is about to get more exciting than ever! Because today, the contestants are going underground, to discover, the lost treasure of...The TOONIES!!!! Why is it called that? I honestly have NO idea! Who will prevail in this challenge, and who will be the next contestant eliminated out of this game?! Find out on the newest episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" /


"The Toonies R Good Enough" The action opes up, unusually enough, during night time, at the motel where the Killer Prawns are currently staying. Specifically, it opens up in Bubble Bass' room, where Bubble Bass is starting to take a shower, and singing along to Earth, Wind, & Fire's version of, "Got To Get You Into My Life," all the while, thinking about the moment when he gets back together with Blonda. / Bubble Bass sings: "Got to get you into my life, into my life. Got to get you into my life, into my life. Got to get you into my life, into my life. Got to get you into my life, into my life. Got to get you into my life, into my life. I was alone, I took a ride. I didn't know what I would find there. Another road, where maybe I could see another sign there. Oo, then I suddenly see you. Oo, and did I tell you I need you, every single day of my life? You didn't run, you didn't lie. You knew I wanted just to hold you. And had you gone, you knew in time, we'd meet again, for I had told you. Oh, you were meant to be near me. Oh, I really want you to hear me, say we'll be together every day. Got to get you into my life! Got to get you in, got to get you into my life! Got to get you into my life! Got to get you in, got to get you into my life! Got to get you into my life! Ooo, then I suddenly see you, ooo, and did I tell you I need you, every single day of my life. Got to get you into my life! Got to get you in, got to get you into my life! Got to get you into my life! Got to get you into my life! Got to get you in, got to get you in! Got to get you in, got to get you in, Into my life! Got to get you into my life! Got to get you in, got to get you in! Got to get you in, got to get you in, Into my life! Got to get you into my life! Got to get you in, got to get you in!" / The song ends, Bubble Bass steps out of the shower, and begins drying himself, when he hears his hotel room door buzzer ring, indicating there's someone right outside. Bubble Bass says: "Must be who I'm expecting." Bubble Bass shouts: "Hang on one minute, I'll be right out!"


Bubble Bass quickly gets dressed, opens his door, and sure enough, his mom is right there! Bubble Bass says: "Hi, mom! So nice you could finally get here!" His mom walks right in, and she says: "Wow, pretty fancy, 'Schmancy', or whatever it is they call it. Who knows? Maybe if you manage to win this competition, you might even be able to buy something HALF as nice for YOU to live in!" Bubble Bass asks: "Why do I need to do that? I'm in a relationship with Blonda now; her accomodations are going to be better than this stuff!" His mom says: "If you ask me, you could do SO much better that that two bit celebrity wannabe!" Bubble Bass gasps, sputters, and he says: "Are YOU kidding me?! I'm lucky I even managed to get the interest of a woman who was THAT good, and YOU know it, to!" His mom says: "All the same, don't expect to come running back to me when she inevitably breaks your heart for a much tougher, stronger, YOUNGER guy, because I won't hear of it!" Bubble Bass says: "Mom, Blonda PROVED herself to me! Do you know what she did?! She turned herself into something that was FAR below her tastes of beauty and grace, she did that FOR me! And she's stuck like that for the foreseeable future!" His mom says: "I see. And I suppose you think, that in the amount of time that she's stuck, she's going to change her view-point about you?" Bubble Bass says: "Mom, this may come as a surprise to you, but over the last few challenges, I've found out that I'm a LOT better than I thought I was! I personally never knew that there was anything more to me than eating, playing video games, or buying collectibles, but I've learned that I actually have some hidden skills, and it all came from simply applying myself to the best of my ability. If I can do that here, I can certainly do that in Bikini Bottom. Whether or not that will carry on into the ACTUAL show of 'Spongebob Squarepants' or not, that remains to be seen."


His Mom says: "Well, you certainly LOOK more competent, and SOUND more confident than when you left my house. I guess, maybe your relationship with Blonda COULD work out!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, there's certainly no telling what the future holds for sure, all I know is that I'm going to do my absolute best, no matter what comes in my way!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Prior to today, I've never really felt like my mom has never really talked to me on my own level. She would ALWAYS talk to me as if I were several levels BELOW her! But today, it felt like she's finally starting to see me as a young adult, and not just her son! And I don't know how much that matters to anyone else, but it definitely means a lot to me! That's why I'm DETERMINED to make it as far as I can! Not just to impress Blonda, but to show my mom, that I DO have the ability to do great things, and not ALL those great things revolve around video game achievements!" / Bubble Bass' Mom is in the Confessional, and she says: "Okay, I'm CONFUSED! What is the purpose of this thing ANYWAYS?!" (End Confessional) Meanwhile, in the cabins being used by the Power Pandas, Private looks at the clock, and realizes that it is 8 P.M. Private says: "There hasn't been a challenge today! There hasn't BEEN a challenge ALL day!" Kowalski says: "So, what of it? You know that Sniz and Fondue only give us challenges, when there's a challenge to be given." Private says: "That's just the POINT I'm trying to make! Sniz and Fondue ALWAYS give us challenges, and they HAVEN'T given us a challenge today!" Po says: "Personally, I don't see why you should be so worried! It means more time for relaxing and chilling as far as I'm concerned!" Jenny says: "You know, Private DOES have a point. Sniz and Fondue DO always give us challenges." Private asks: "Do you think something might have happened to them?!" Kowalski says: "If it did, don't you think somebody ELSE would have let us know about it FIRST?!"


Private says: "Well, I would certainly hope so. But for all we know, this could be a SECRET challenge, and we could be LOSING it right now!" Jenny says: "I highly DOUBT that any challenge would be secret! I have the ENTIRE rule guidelines of the 'Total Cartoon' rulebook, version 4.0, updated in my memory banks! And nowhere in the entire rulebook, does it say that it's legal for ANY challenge to be secret!" Kowalski says: "Personally though, I don't like being kept in the dark any more than Private does! After all, this COULD be the doing of Anti-Cosmo! After all, we HAVE seen just how BLATANTLY he disregards the rules at his own convenience, and tries making Bubble Bass' life miserable! Who's to say that he wouldn't do the same to Sniz and Fondue?!" Jenny says: "Anti-Cosmo wouldn't DO that! Sniz and Fondue would FIRE him if he ever tried anything!" Danny says: "Maybe not. After all, the Fairies of Fairy World ARE still on strike! If they fire Anti-Cosmo, they'd have to go with the BORING Pixies for magic instead, and we ALL know there's NO way Sniz and Fondue are going to that! If they get rid of Anti-Cosmo, they would HAVE nothing, and I think Anti-Cosmo knows this, to! I think we should investigate this situation! The sooner we get down to the bottom of this whole thing, the better!" Po says: "In that case, you're going to need a leader! Without ME around, you might not last five minutes against Anti-Cosmo! I've taken on LOADS of bad guys during my time as a Dragon Warrior! And with me, we can face on ANYTHING Anti-Cosmo can throw at us!" Jenny says: "I think I should come along to. You might need some of my technological capabilities to get through any tight spots you might come across!" Kowalski says: "That's the spirit! You'll also need my Analysis clip-board, and Private's youthful stamina! With my brains, and his untapped potential, we've overcome SEVERAL different adversaries and challenges that have come our way!"
Jenny says: "That's four out of five then! WELL, Danny Fenton?" Danny sighs, and says: "Okay, I'll help you, but I'm probably NOT going to like it!" Private asks: "Why?" Danny says: "Simple! Tigress REMEMBERS how I tricked her into REVEALING that she has found the Pendant of Life AGAIN! That means that SHE, and by extension, her team, are going to be trying EXTRA Hard to win the next challenge, in order to get ME eliminated as a result! Tigress is NOT the kind to take any infractions against her character, real OR imagined, unchecked!" Po says: "I hear you there, Danny. All I know for sure is, to paraphrase someone famous, You lose 100% of the games you DON'T play in! So, if you play, at least you HAVE a chance of winning, which is better than no chance at all." Danny says: "True. Alright, I'll do it! Who knows? This might be the chance for me to step up to the plate, and help my OWN game, so to speak!"

Jenny says: "And don't worry about a thing! Because we will all be here to support you, every step of the way!" (Confessional) Private says: "Am I nervous about a potential upcoming challenge? A little bit. But who wouldn't be? After all, we're already DOWN to only nine contestants remaining! It's not going to be much longer before we hit the team merge, and there simply haven't BEEN as many opportunities to learn from the mistakes of other contestants, as there have in seasons past! Lucky for me, I still have Kowalski to fall back on in a pinch, so I know that I have his support no matter what. But if HE gets eliminated before I do, where will that LEAVE me?! All I know for sure is, I've got to do my best to keep Kowalski, and by extension, myself, in the game as LONG as I can! Either way, either he or I, have GOT to make the Final Two this time! This might be the LAST chance a representative from 'The Penguins of Madagascar', could even have a CHANCE to win the whole enchilada! Metaphorically speaking, of course!" /


Kowalski says: "I'm definitely proud of Private for helping us to form an investigation! He's learning to trust his intuition more, and relying MORE on his previous untapped penguin commando instincts! Skipper will be SO proud to see how much Private has improved as a penguin! Who knows? He might even promote Private, to 'Corporal'! Anything is possible!" / Jenny says: "I HAD to volunteer to help the others, okay?! I'm the only woman LEFT on my team! I mean, I've actually ALWAYS been the only woman on my team, but that's not the POINT I'm trying to make! The point is, it's been MY personal experience, that there are STILL far too many guys, human or otherwise, who will always admire a woman for her beauty. But when they come across a woman who genuinely IS smart, or who HAS skills that far surpass their own, they will amost ALWAYS become threatened by them, and turn against her at the earliest POSSIBLE convenience for them! I hope that's not the case for my team, but either way, I'm keeping my guard up, and looking for any possible legal strategy I can use to keep myself in the game! Because I know that Tigress and Fee are probably doing the same thing right now. And personally, I'd rather that I get to the Final Three, than mean old Tigress ANY day of the week! Just, don't tell her I said that, to her face, okay?" / Po says: "This investigation is the perfect opportunity to make up for the last challenge! A mark of a TRULY good leader, is to realize, when they make a mistake. And I made one when I let Fee TRICK me into picking Danny and Theodore for the last challenge! Fee somehow KNEW that Theodore's skills were lackluster compared to the rest of us, and she used Theodore's lack of physical prowess against us! Thankfully, that trick is NOT going to work on me again! Because, even though no one LIKES making mistakes, as long as you LEARN from them, then it would be PRACTICALLY impossible for you to unintentionally make the same mistake again!" /


Danny says: "I have no idea the type of challenge I'm about to face, okay? All I know for sure is the fact, that I have to do my absolute best! After all, the spirits of Marlon Brando, Bette Davis, and Rodney Dangerfield, are all depending on me! So, if I can prove that I'm a contender, by somehow using Bette Davis' acting skills, I can get the respect for Rodney Dangerfield that he has long been looking for, and help them ALL out, as well as myself, all at the same time! Not to say that this experience hasn't been interesting, because it has, I'll just be a whole lot happier, and a whole lot saner, when I have my whole body to MYSELF again!" (End Confessional) The Power Pandas leave their cabins, and begin searching across the island, a fact not un-noticed by The Killer Prawns! Tigress looks out her window, and asks: "Now where are THEY going?!" Fee asks: "Who cares?! We're living in the lap of luxury, getting to eat ALL the junk food we want, and get ENDLESS pedicures and hair perms when we want them! Not to mention, my social life here is TOTALLY great thanks to UNLIMITED calls to Harvey Beaks, whoo-whoo!" Tigress says: "Look! Here's the simple fact! You're young, you're a girl, and you're NOT that skilled! The Power Pandas are going to try extra-hard to USE your lack of skill against you, in order to eliminate you!" Fee scoffs, and asks: "Why should I be worried? You HAVE a Pendant of Life at your disposal, after all!" Tigress says: "Which is ONLY good for one contestant! And I'm NOT going to waste it, trying to save the likes of YOU! If you WANT to stay in this game, you should think about, how you're going to help ME win it!" Johnny scoffs: "AGAIN?!!!" Tigress rolls her eyes, and says: "Oh, like YOU really have a SHOT to beat me in the final three!" Johnny says: "That's ASSUMING you even get there!" Tigress says: "Which I'm GOING to, because I am the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, the toughest, and by extension, the MEANEST contestant there is! NOBODY is going to beat me in the Final Three!"


Johnny says: "And what about the Final Three? What THEN?!" Tigress says: "The challenge will be a CAKE walk for me, because I'll be competing against LARD BUTT Bubble Bass, and noodle arms Private! I'll run CIRCLES around them, and compete the challenge in fifteen minutes, which is par for the COURSE for me!" Johnny says: "Do you even REALIZE how BADLY you just BLEW your own chances for the Final Three? You just BLABBED your entire line-up for who you want to GO against in the Final Three, RIGHT to our faces!" Tigress says: "So what if I did? What of it? At least I have the HONESTY to ADMIT my plans to your faces, and not LIE about it like Bulma did!" Fee says: "And I suppose you think, that fact automatically makes you BETTER than Bulma?" Tigress says: "It does from a moral perspective." Johnny says: "Look, even if you truly ARE more moral than Bulma, that does NOT give you a FREE pass to just bully and berate everyone you COME across! You have to do MORE than talk the talk! You have to walk the walk...whatever THAT means!" Tigress scoffs, and says: "Right, because YOU two are SO moral, Little Miss Delinquent, and Johnny breaks his exo-skeleton on a daily basis and thinks nothing of it!" Fee says: "Hey! At least I admit that I've MADE mistakes and LEARNED from them! At least I'm TRYING to be a girl that Harvey Beaks can admire!" Johnny says: "Yeah! And that BROKEN exo-skeleton was just the ONE time on 'Extreme Spots'!" Tigress says: "All I know is, I'm GOING to win this season WITH or without you! Now, I can be NICE about it, and let you ride on my metaphorical coat-tails for as long as I can let you. But, if you decide to PULL this morality C--!" Tigress realizes Fee is STILL in the room, and Tigress says: "CRUD, again, I'll have no choice but to use a Pendant of Life, and eliminate you at my leisure!" Johnny says: "And what if I tell Bubble Bass what you HONESTLY said about him to his face? What THEN?!"


Tigress actually LAUGHS at this prospect, and she says: "Do YOU honestly think it will make a difference?! Bubble Bass is GOING to the Final Three with me, regardless of ANYTHING you can say or DO to him! And besides, the Penalty Vote rule IS still in place, lest you forget THAT important fact, so if you TRY to mess with Bubble Bass, YOU will be the one, going home!" Johnny says: "RATS!" Tigress says: "Now, if you excuse me, I have a challenge to win." Fee says: "What makes you think there IS a challenge to win!" Tigress says: "Hello! If all the Power Pandas are out looking for a challenge, there MUST be a challenge that will be taking place! It's just LOGIC!" Fee says: "Oh, it's logic all right; it's Insane Troll Logic, and I can't BELIEVE that I personally KNOW what that is!" Tigress exits her room, and knocks on Bubble Bass' door. Bubble Bass' Mom answers it, and Tigress asks: "Hey, Bubble Bass, who's your NEW girlfriend?!" Bubble Bass' Mom angrily says: "WHY YOU LITTLE--!!!!" Bubble Bass quickly GRABS his mother's fin arms, and he says: "Don't hit her, DON'T HIT HER, you'll ONLY make her MAD!!!!" Bubble Bass' Mom says: "She's ALREADY MAD!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Hitting Tigress won't do any good! If she can walk across a field of burning HOT coals and NOT feel any pain, than I highly DOUBT that you hitting her, would even make HER flinch! TAKE MY WORD FOR IT! Tigress, this is, my mom!" Tigress coughs, and she says: "Forgive me for my earlier assumption, Miss...?" Bubble Bass' Mom says: "Bonnie; Bonnie Bass. Like, 'My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean'. I was named after the song, in case you were wondering!" Tigress asks: "Does EVERYONE in your family have this alliteration deal going for you?" Bonnie says: "Oh, wouldn't YOU like to know?" Tigress says: "Yes, I would!" Bonnie says: "Too bad! You insulted ME to my face, and quite frankly, I don't like your lousy attitude! And before you do ANYTHING, need I remind you that my son is WATCHING your every action, and he doesn't take too kindly, to ANYONE who threatens his mother!"


Johnny says: "WOAH!!!! Did YOU just TAUNT Cthulu?!" Tigress says: "That's NOT the name of that particular trope, and YES, she did! But, seeing as how I value Bubble Bass' friendship and alliance too much, I shall take the moral high road, and let it slide! Besides, we've got more pressing matters to deal with!" Bubble Bass asks: "Such as?" Tigress says: "The Power Pandas are out combing the island for something. No doubt, they want to know WHY there has been no challenge today! If I know Sniz and Fondue as well as I think I do, there MUST be a challenge, that needs to be taken care of!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, you're probably right! You usually ARE!" Tigress asks: "SEE, Fee?! Bubble Bass thinks my logic is sound!" Fee says: "Statistically speaking, I suppose SOMEBODY has to think so!" Tigress says: "You are SO lucky we are in the presence of an actual parental GUARDIAN here!" Fee asks: "What's THAT supposed to mean?!" Tigress scoffs, and she says: "You're TOO young to know! Now, let's go!" (Confessional) Tigress groans, and she says: "What a bunch of WHINERS!!!! They're all acting like this is Kindergarden or something, and that I'm not giving them the time to take their regularly scheduled naps! I NEVER took a nap when I was training with Master Shifu, and I turned out just fine!" / Fee says: "Tigress and that STUPID Pendant of Life! If it weren't for THAT stupid protection, she'd be OUT on HER sorry butt! I'm almost tempted to THROW this challenge, JUST to get that Pendant of Life out of play! Hopefully, Johnny will be SMART enough, to NOT let it fall into HER hands a THIRD time!" / Johnny says: "Oh, Tigress is DEFINITELY on her A-Game, I'll give her THAT much! But just remember, the Pendant of Life is ONLY good until the Final Six! After that, you have to actually WIN the challenges to survive, and you've already made an enemy of EVERYONE except for Po and Bubble Bass in this game! And trust me, if you're stubborn enough to TRY and eliminate Po, it will prove to be your OWN undoing! Even I'M smart enough to realize THAT!" /


Bubble Bass says: "My mom has spunk, I'll give her that much, but I was NOT about to let my mom get her FINS bitten off by Tigress! As far as I'm concerned, it's better to keep my head down WITH Tigress, as opposed to getting it bitten OFF by her!" / Bonnie Bass says: "Okay, someone SERIOUSLY didn't HUG Tigress enough as a child! I'm certainly NOT going to hug her, though! Not unless I'm wearing FULL body armor or something like that!" (End Confessional) The Power Pandas and Killer Prawns all search the Island. Until eventually, both teams come across a cave, where Fondue and General Barracuda are! Fondue says: "So, you both FINALLY showed up!" Danny says: "What do you MEAN, we finally showed up?! We NEVER got any word about there being a challenge!" Fondue says: "That's impossible! I told General Barracuda MYSELF to tell you there was a challenge, and--!" Fondue REALIZES what General Barracuda has done, and Fondue asks: "You DID tell them there was going to BE a challenge, didn't YOU?!" General Barracuda says: "And what if I didn't? I'm 6 foot 4, and FULL of muscle, while you're a four foot NOTHING!" Bonnie Bass is panting, as she FINALLY catches up, and she says: "Okay! Somebody BETTER tell me what is going ON--!" And she STOPS when she SEES General Barracuda! Bonnie says: "Horatio Barracuda?!" General Barracuda is SHOCKED, and asks: "Bonnie Carp?!" Tigress asks: "Your maiden name is Carp?!" Bonnie says: "It's Bonnie Bass now, Horatio!" General Barracuda says: "Bonnie Bass, as in BOBBY Bass?! I introduced YOU two!" Bonnie says: "I THINK you gave UP your vote on who I chose to date and eventually MARRIED when you STOPPED dating me after only SIX months after a series of WILD escapades together, just because you got the promise of a life-time from Master Coelaceanth, which I TOLD you was to good to be true! And while I've HAD a good life, you STILL managed to find a way to ruin the life of Ambrosia!" General Barracuda says: "I had no way of KNOWING that Master Coelaceanth was going to target Ambrosia, and I did everything I could to try to keep her safe! It's just...I never thought--." Bonnie finishes by saying: "--That I would HAVE a life after YOU left?! Well, I DID have a life, and a GOOD life! A darn, REALLY darn good life! So, are you STILL leaving a blazing trail of wreckage behind you, or have you filled up your quota for your life?" General Barracuda asks: "Why are you asking? Are you LOOKING for a date?" Bonnie says: "With ANYONE BUT YOU!"

Bubble Bass says: "Woah! You two KNEW each other; and DATED?!" General Barracuda says: "I didn't KNOW Bonnie...Bass was YOUR mother! If I had known, you would've been the FIRST to know!" Bonnie says: "Well, it's nice to know you actually HAVE some standards!" Fondue says: "Contestants, Bonnie, General Barracuda, could we all focus please?! We have an important challenge to focus on!" Jenny says: "All right, so get on with it, already!" Fondue says: "Tonight, you are going to go searching for the lost treasure of...The TOONIES!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "The Toonies?! Doesn't that sound AWFULLY similar to a mid 1980's movie executive produced by Steven Spielberg, directed by Richard Donner, and starring a young Sean Astin, and an elderly Mary Ramsey as the main villain?!" Danny says: "A whole PLOT reference to a 1980's movie?! Is that REALLY the BEST that you could come up with?!" (Confessional) Fondue groans, and he says: "NOBODY appreciates a good pop culture reference anymore! Sometimes, I wonder why I even BOTHER!" / Bubble Bass says: "I STILL can't get over the fact that my MOM and General Barracuda actually DATED each other! Although to be fair, I can't really BLAME my mom! General Barracuda isn't exactly the type of guy you would just turn down! Although, from what it sounds like, it sounds like General Barracuda left HER! Some guys are HARD to figure out, and that's coming from someone who IS a guy to begin with!"

(End Confessional) Fondue says: "Anyways, here is how the challenge is going to work. You will enter the cave, and there will be obstacles you will have to get past! First, the DREADED Organ of Doom! You have to play the notes CORRECTLY, or you will be magically ejected back to the entrance, and have to try again! There is also, the KRACKEN from 'Catscratch'! You will have to beat HIM, in order to board the Pirate Ship! Finally, you will have to take the REQUIRED treasure, but not ANYTHING else, from One Eyed Billy!" Fee says: "One Eyed Billy? Was that the BEST parody name you could come up with?" Fondue seriously says: "Don't judge me. And once you have the treasure, be the first CONTESTANT to escape with the treasure, and WIN immunity for yourself! Just be sure to watch out for Karen, Plankton, and the DREADED Yeti Crab who is said to haunt this cave!" Danny says: "Don't you mean, 'Team', and 'Your Team'?" Fondue says: "EHHH! Wrong! BOTH teams will be attending tonight's Elimination Ceremony, which means ANY contestant from EITHER of the team's, could wind up getting eliminated tonight! So, this will DEFINITELY make your strategizing plans that much HARDER to pull off THIS time around!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "CRUD!!!! I KNOW why Fondue is doing this! He is trying to PURPOSEFULLY engineer a challenge, where if I don't win, I could use the Pendant of Life for myself, but I would PROBABLY lose Bubble Bass in the process! Well, he's going to have to do a LOT better than that, because I am GOING to win this challenge, NOBODY is going to STOP me, and while it PAINS me to do it, I will HAVE to use the Pendant of Life of Bubble Bass, if for no other reason but to make SURE, that he doesn't get eliminated!" / Fee says: "Well, it looks like I won't HAVE to throw this challenge after all! It just got a LOT more interesting!" /


Po says: "This is definitely going to be a tricky challenge, but I've got to do my best to win it, and TRY to keep the rest of my team safe! After all, Tigress has proven that she is NOT going to go easy on me or our team, so I can't afford to go easy on her or HER team! It's nothing personal; I just hope she realizes that!" (End Confessional) Johnny says: "Wait a minute! The Power Pandas have one more contestant than WE do! They need to sit someone out!" Fondue says: "No need! You have Bubble Bass' Mom, Bonnie, to help you! She will be a fifth member, for this challenge only!" Bonnie says: "Lucky me, I didn't sign ON for this challenge, I just came to spend some quality time with my son!" General Barracuda says: "Glad I don't have to DO anything!" Fondue says: "Actually, you DO! Since you thought it would be FUNNY not to tell anybody about this challenge, I'm making YOU personally responsible for the safety of EVERYONE, for this challenge! Maybe then, you will think TWICE about whether the potential downsides, of doing something YOU think is funny, will be WORTH the potential pain and agony you might go through!" Bonnie says: "Wouldn't be the FIRST time General Barracuda did something that he didn't think through." General Barracuda asks: "What's THAT supposed to mean?!" Tigress asks: "Who cares?! I just want to WIN this! And I can say 'I', this time around, since only the contestant that comes out FIRST, will be safe!" Fee says: "You'll STILL have to use your Pendant of Life, anyways! You can't AFFORD for us to target Bubble Bass, can you?!" Tigress says: "A small price to pay to eliminate YOU! Besides, I'll just FIND the Pendant of Life AGAIN! I am a MASTER, of finding things that are valuable, and NOBODY is going to beat me in THAT department!" And Fee gulps nervously!

(Confessional) Fee says: "Oh, boy! I'm in trouble...I mean, in more trouble than usual! If I don't win this challenge, Tigress might eliminate me for SURE, and that's even if she DOESN'T win, and has to use the Pendant of Life on herself! I'm certainly not going to last much longer, as long as Tigress has this, 'It's All About Me' attitude going around here. I might have to take some of that treasure for myself! At least THAN, I can return to my parents, having SOMETHING to show for all my efforts!" / Tigress says: "I'm not letting ANYONE who crosses me, escape from my wrath! If they want to MESS with the tiger, they're GOING to get the fangs, AND the claws!" (End Confessional) Fondue says: "For individual immunity, both teams, get on your mark, get set, GO!!!!" And both teams, General Barracuda, and Bonnie, enter the cave, hoping desperately to win the coveted immunity! Sniz finally appears, and he says: "And they are OFF! Every contestant wants to win immunity, but there can be only ONE!!!!" Fondue asks: "And just where have YOU been all this TIME?!" Sniz asks: "Wouldn't YOU like to know?!" Fondue says: "Yes, I would." Sniz says: "Well, I'm afraid I cannot tell you THAT now! It shall be revealed at the PROPER time!" Fondue says: "Well, good things are worth waiting for!" Sniz says: "Just like the conclusion to this episode! We'll find out who wins this challenge of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, right after, some required messages, from our sponsors." / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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It's time to get right back into the thick of this (whatever THAT means!); and return to the "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back" episode of, "The Toonies R Good Enough", now in progress! / The commercials end, and it opens up on Marlene, outside of the cave, and she says: "Hey! I'm FINALLY in the episode! The two teams have been informed of their task at hand, and are starting to make their way through the mysterious cave. However, they're about to find out that there are some BIZARRE things in the cave, that while they logically SHOULDN'T be in there, they are, thanks to the dark magic of Anti-Cosmo. Let's switch to our camera drones, and find out what those things are!" / The camera switches to the two teams, who are looking around for their first obstacle, the Organ of Doom, when all of the sudden, SOMETHING makes a WEIRD noise! Tigress waves her hands and says: "P.U!!!! SOMETHING stinks in here!" Johnny Krill winces, and he says: "Sorry about that; I sometimes release gas when I'm nervous!" Tigress rolls her eyes, and she says: "Not YOU, you brain dead MORON; I LITERALLY smell something ELSE that stinks to high HEAVEN!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Now that you mention it, you're right! Something DOES smell in here, and it smells a whole lot WORSE than that time I was in that swamp with Patrick!" Johnny Krill asks: "Wasn't that a dream?" Bubble Bass says: "That's what Patrick thought, to. But Sandy told me that she SAW us running around in the swamp, so we somehow got transported there, than got transported back to Bikini Bottom!" Jenny says: "Fascinating. It's times like this that make me GLAD I'm a robot, and was made WITHOUT the capacity to smell things!" Fee says: "You know; there's only ONE thing that can make a smell THAT BAD; Plankton cooking one and/or more of his Chum recipes!" And sure enough, they ALMOST bump right into the Chum Bucket, which has MAGICALLY been transported there, thanks to Anti-Cosmo's magic! Fee says: "I rest my case!"


(Confessional) Fee says: "When you spend eight years of your life living in Treebark, you quickly learn how to tell the GOOD smells, from the BAD smells! It's really handy when you have to identify, what smells like Miriam Beaks' home-baked lasagna, and what smells like Kratz the Skunk's dirty BUTT farts!" / Tigress does a HEAD pound on one of the cafeteria tables, and she says to herself: "Just eight...seven and half more episodes left that I have to be SURROUNDED by idiots, before I beat ALL of them, and have the title to myself! It's NEVER been about the money for me, it's ALWAYS been about the title!" / Johnny Krill says: "I thought the whole point of Tigress TRYING to form an alliance with me, was that it would get me SOME shred of respect! And instead, Tigress has been TRYING to usurp my leadership title from me since day one of the alliance, and that's AFTER she had the NERVE to tell me that the leadership title was completely MEANINGLESS in the first place! Well, if it's so meaningless, why does she even WANT it THAT badly?! Is she THAT addicted to winning?! Well, let me say one thing about Tigress; having ALL the strength, all the speed, and all the stamina in the world, means absolutely NOTHING if you DON'T have FRIENDS to enjoy it with! If she doesn't WATCH her attitude, she's going to find herself without a FRIEND in the world! Which, in my opinion, is a fate worse than death!" / Bubble Bass says: "The biggest reason why I brought that weird fact up, is the fact that I'm TRYING to remind Tigress of the fact, that our team is STRUGGLING TOGETHER! No man, or woman, is an island, and we have GOT to pull all of our strengths together, if we want to get through this! If I can learn this fact, than TIGRESS has got to learn it as well. Alliance partner or not, even someone like ME has their limits! She's just lucky that I'm a lot more TOLERANT and smart about it than many of the other contestants on this show are." (End Confessional)


Plankton runs out of the Chum Bucket, and he says: "Well, what do we have here? CUSTOMERS! You guys are SO lucky! I almost NEVER get customers!" Bubble Bass dryly says: "Gee, I wonder why?" Plankton says: "It's because I don't have the money to advertise, like Mr. Krabs does! Who knew that ONE commercial was all it took for Mr. Krabs to dominate the restaurant industry of Bikini Bottom?! I certainly didn't!" Private says: "Kowalski, what do you think we should do?" Kowalski says: "Statistically speaking, Plankton and Karen are adversaries we SHOULD avoid! However, we HAVE been told to look for an Organ of Doom! And seeing how this IS Plankton we're talking about, who's known to use INSTRUMENTS of TORTURE, it stands to reason that he MIGHT have an Organ of Doom! I say we go in!" Bonnie Bass says: "Well, let's hope it's a LOT better than General Barracuda's cooking! The one time I let him cook for me, I got MORNING sickness!" General Barrcuda says: "Well, how was I supposed to know that Mayonnaise and Horse Radish wouldn't mix WELL together in a jambalaya stew?! At least I've never made it AGAIN!" Danny says: "We should ALL be so lucky!" Danny reverts to being Rodney Dangerfield, and he says: "Especially because I have no luck! One time, I stayed at a hotel in West Wendover, Nevada. The hotel rooms were nice enough, but the chicken and mashed potatoes I ate, LITERALLY caused me to lose my dinner, so I never ate THERE again!" Private says: "I don't think I'm EVER going to get USED to that!" Danny reverts to being Bette Davis, and she says: "Join the crowd. It's WORSE than having to act for TELEVISION shows, REALLY it is! Because the screen was NEVER as big as it was in the theaters!" Po says: "Danny, FOCUS! We need to explore the restaurant, and see what we can find!" Danny reverts to being Marlon Brando, and he says: "Very well, as long as they don't serve raw eggs and under-cooked beef, like a bum!"


(Confessional) Po says: "Don't get me wrong, I think Danny has been unusually funny in certain situations. Unfortunately, he's seeming to lack a LOT of focus lately, and it's NOT really conducive to our long term game plan! Personally, I hope it doesn't come down to it, but if worst comes to worst, and I can't secure an immunity tonight, I might have to vote Danny off for the good of our team. It's nothing personal." / Bubble Bass says: "You know, if Plankton spent HALF as much effort towards developing a better FOOD recipe for his restaurant meals, as opposed to trying to STEAL the Krabby Patty Secret Formula, he might actually GET a few decent regular customers ONCE in a while! Not that I would ever go there! Spongebob may only be tolerable to me on my BEST days, but at least he knows how to cook a Krabby Patty like nobody else can do!" / Kowalski says: "Plankton is known for two things; being 1% evil, and taking an EXTRAORDINARY amount of time, to perform a harmonica solo! Naturally, Plankton has a lot of pent-up anger and resentment inside him, so he's going to want to unleash that in any way he can! As far as I'm concerned, getting to spoil any evil plans he has, as WELL as winning immunity, would be a major BONUS for me as far as I'm concerned!" / Bonnie says: "I've heard it said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. While that seems to be true for my son, the same can't be said for General Barracuda. He seems more interested in proving himself capable of doing things BETTER than anyone else, than he is in my home-cooked meals! Personally, it's hard figuring out just exactly what it is, that goes on through General Barracuda's head!" / General Barracuda says: "I WOULD tell exactly what goes on in my head, but it's full of Classified Information, that I can't afford to have fall into the wrong hands! It's nothing personal!" / Private says: "I hope Danny can get his problem all sorted out soon!" / Danny says: "No doubt about it. Solving this problem, is TRICKIER than defeating Vlad Plasmus was!" (End Confessional)


Kowalski says: "All right, Plankton, impress us! Show us your FINEST foods!" Plankton laughs, and he says: "Walk RIGHT this way!" General Barracuda says: "WAIT! As the one responsible for everyone's safety, I think Bonnie and I should go in first, just to make sure everything is on the level!" Bonnie says: "Come on! You're trying to win me over NOW?!" General Barracuda says: "I've been WIDOWED for the past eighteen years! I think it's high time I got some DECENT romance in my life again! And seeing as how there's nobody ELSE here who even respects me BESIDES you, than you're my best chance for a working relationship!" Bonnie says: "Lucky me! You're just lucky that I'm a widow myself, or I wouldn't even CONSIDER your proposal!" General Barracuda says: "You called it a PROPOSAL! We're making progress!" Bonnie says: "Statistically speaking, you were BOUND to make some sooner or later!" General Barracuda groans, and says: "STILL with the attitude, even after ALL these years!" (Confessional) General Barracuda says: "Even now, Bonnie is still a beauty to me. But when she brings up that attitude of hers...I just find it HARD to be around a woman, who is as SNARKY as I can be!" / Bonnie says: "Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE for General Barracuda to be with me! BUT...he's going to have to prove himself before I let him back into MY life...AGAIN!!!!" / Plankton laughs, and he says: "Heh, heh, heh! Those FOOLS are going to walk RIGHT into my trap!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda and Bonnie Carp walk a FEW feet into the restaurant, only to WALK right into a HUGE pit of QUICKSAND!!!! Bonnie says: "Oh, BARNACLES!!!!" General Barracuda says: "Bonnie, language! There's a CHILD present! Namely, Fee!" Fee says: "I don't get what the big deal is, it's just a WORD to me!" Bubble Bass says: "Don't MOVE, you'll just sink faster!" Bonnie says: "NO!!!! Really, do you think?!" General Barracuda says: "Don't panic! It's not that bad! The only thing we would HAVE to worry about, is if there is a..." (PLOP!!!!)


General Barracuda's mood sours, and he finishes: "A void collapse. Bubble Bass, find something to pull us out of here!" Bubble Bass says: "I'll see if I can find something in Jenny's arsenal of tools!" And Jenny and Bubble Bass rush out of the restaurant! General Barracuda says: "Everyone else, go get help!" Fee sarcastically asks: "Oh, yeah! Like, WHERE?!" General Barracuda says: "Search the cave, search the restaurant, search ANYWHERE! Just get HELP!!!!" Tigress says: "Right! YOU guys go do that, and I'M going to find the Organ of Doom! And maybe kick Plankton's BUTT while I'm at it!" And Tigress once AGAIN leaves everyone else to their devices! Johnny groans, and he says: "Not AGAIN!!!! Not TWICE, in the SAME SEASON!!!! Somebody's got to put a TRACKING COLLAR or something on that tiger!" And everyone who's not in the quicksand, runs after Tigress! Bonnie says: "General Barracuda, if we don't make it out of here, there's something I have to tell you about Bubble Bass!" General Barracuda says: "Bonnie, I know you're upset, that he's fat, Brilliant, but lazy, and a bit of a snob, but over the last few challenges, he's proven to me that he can be a real stand-up guy, he just needs the right incentive!" Bonnie says: "Bubble Bass isn't his real name, it's a nickname he gave himself." General Barracuda says: "I didn't know that!" Bonnie says: "His real name IS Horatio!" General Barracuda SOMEHOW doesn't get it, and he says: "That's nice." Bonnie seriously says: "HORATIO BARRACUDA the Second. YOU'RE his father!" General Barracuda shouts: "HOW IN THE H-E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS DID YOU LET HIM GET THAT FAT?!!!" Bubble Bass and Jenny run back in, and Bubble Bass says: "I found a tool! Grab this!" And Jenny throws what LOOKS like a big, THICK vine, and pulls Bonnie out of the quicksand! Bubble Bass says: "Now it's your turn, General!" They throw it again, and it's a ROBOTIC snake! General Barracuda shouts: "Great BARRIER REEF! What is that THING?!!!" Jenny says: "It's just a trick I picked up from Mega Man, it's no big deal!"


General Barracuda panics, and he says: "You got to throw something else! Don't you have a rope?!" Jenny says: "We already looked! I don't HAVE a rope system installed into me, the Snake Coil is what I've GOT!!!!" General Barracuda says: "You know, I think I can feel the bottom!" Bubble Bass says: "There bottom is TOO FAR DOWN! Just GRAB the snake!" General Barracuda SCREAMS: "STOP CALLING IT THAT!!!!" Bonnie says: "What do you WANT us to CALL it?!" General Barracuda yells: "GRAB THE ROPE!" Jenny, Bonnie, and Bubble Bass all look at each other, and say: "Grab the rope!" General Barracuda finally does, they pull him to safety, and Jenny retracts her Snake Coil! Bubble Bass says: "GEEZ, of all the things you COULD be scared of, YOU'RE scared of SNAKES?!" General Barracuda says: "I have a VERY good reason, I might be able to EXPLAIN it to you, some day!" Bonnie says: "Bubble Bass, meet your REAL father, General, Horatio Barracuda!" Bubble Bass laughs, and he says: "After 24 years, NOW you get a sense of humor!" (Beat) Bubble Bass looks at his mom, and he says: "HOLY NEPTUNE, YOU'RE SERIOUS?!!!" And Plankton and Karen rush in, with Johnny Krill as a hostage! Johnny nervously says: "I...found help!" Bonnie groans, and she says: "Some help!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass is dumbstruck, and he says: "No WAY!!!! General Barracuda is my REAL father ALL ALONG?!!! How didn't I see it SOONER?! We have the SAME scale color, the same devotion to stubborness, the same capacity for doing questionably moral things, but still thinking of ourselves as good guys...I'm just saying, it makes a LOT more sense in retrospect!" / General Barracuda says: "I should have KNOWN about this a LOT sooner! For one thing, I would've had the DECENCY to pay for Child Support in the event that she didn't EVEN get married, and she should have CALLED me, as soon as her husband got HOOKED!" / Jenny says: "I don't think I'll EVER fully understand biological family arrangements!" / Johnny says: "Come ON!!!! Who ELSE was I going to get on such short notice?!" (End Confessional)


The camera switches to Fee, who has found the Yeti Crab, locked up in a storage room in the Chum Bucket! Fee looks on in admiration, and she says: "WOW! You are SO huge!" The Yeti Crab is locked up in chains, and is groaning: "AHHH!!!! AHHH!!!!" Fee looks on in empathy and sympathy, and she says: "Poor guy, did that mean old Plankton and Karen catch you and lock you up against your will?" The Yeti Crab nods his head, and grunts: "Uh-huh, uh-huh." Fee says: "Well, don't you worry! I'm going to find something to get you out of here, and I'll even take you back to live with me with my parents! I've always WANTED to have an older brother who was MORE intelligent than Foo is! Now, let's see what I can find here." Fee digs around the boxes, and she pulls out what looks like a HUGE diamond!!!! Fee says: "I hit the JACKPOT!!!! My status is assured!" (Confessional) Fee says: "Looks like Lady Luck has finally decided to smile upon me! I wanted something valuable, and I found it! Looks like Fee has hit a home run! As soon as this challenge is over, I'm taking the first opportunity I can to get out of this game! The sooner I'm AWAY from Tigress' fangs and claws, the better!" (End Confessional) Fee says: "This diamond should be sharp enough to cut those chains! But before I do, you have to promise to NOT bite or maim ANYBODY except the bad guys, Plankton and Karen! Do you promise?" The Yeti Crab grunts, and he says: "Uh-huh, uh-huh!" Fee seriously says: "PROMISE, promise? Not a FAKE promise. You're claws aren't CROSSED, are they?" And the Yeti Crab shows it's chained, but uncrossed, claws! Fee says: "Very well, than! It's a deal!" And Fee SLAMS the diamond against the chains, cutting the chains off, and FREEING the Yeti Crab! Fee says: "You're free!" And the Yeti Crab picks Fee up, and puts her on his back, than the Yeti Crab runs STRAIGHT through the walls of the Chum Bucket, and back into the cave at a break-neck speed! Fee shouts: "WHOO-HOO! I am SO GLAD I got ME one of THESE!!!!" (Confessional)


Fee says: "A lot of people say that a dog is a man's best friend. But for THIS girl, my best friend, besides Harvey Beaks, is a great big, Yeti Crab! Everyone should BE so lucky to HAVE one!" / The Yeti Crab is seen kissing his huge arm biceps, as if flattered by Fee's compliment. (End Confessional) The camera switches, to show that Karen is driving a pick-up truck, through a hollowed out portion of the cave. Inside the truck, General Barracuda, Bonnie Bass, Johnny Krill, Jenny, and Bubble Bass have all been tightly bound and tied by Plankton, who is busy holding a laser gun in case they even THINK about escaping! Karen shouts: "It won't be too long before we get these guys to the Kracken! While the Kracken is busy feasting on THEM, we'll be able to snatch all the treasure for ourselves!" Plankton says: "And we'll FINALLY be able to live the rest of our lives on easy street! Our son Chip will be so PROUD of us!" Bubble Bass says: "I'm STILL having trouble understanding this whole thing! How could YOU actually BE my father?! You're NOT my father!" General Barracuda seriously says: "You bet your BIG BUTT that I am, and I've got NEWS for you, kid, you're going to STRAIGHTEN up your act, help your mom out more around the house, and be more active in life!" Bubble Bass asks: "What happened to, 'There ain't a darn thing wrong with you, and don't let anybody tell you any different'?!" General Barracuda says: "That was BEFORE I was your father!" Bubble Bass says: "You're NOT my father!" Bonnie says: "BOBBY Bass, the man I MARRIED, was a good, VERY good man! He was heavy-set, green, and LOVED a good home-cooked meal! I wasn't going to let my son grow up without a father, and he seemed like a good, dependable man who could fit the bill of being your surrogate father. Which is why I wanted to feed you so you would look LIKE him, and never question your heritage! The REAL reason I got morning sickness that one time that General Barracuda cooked for me, is because I discovered that I was PREGNANT with my son!"


General Barracuda sarcastically says: "That's REALLY nice! Why didn't you TELL me that happened on the day that it happened?!" Bonnie says: "I was GOING to, but then YOU interrupted me with your VERY important LETTER, saying that Master Coelaceanth had accepted YOU, and that YOU were LEAVING me!" General Barracuda says: "I think we were both WELL aware that a relationship was NEVER going to work out between us?!" Bonnie says: "How would YOU know?! You never even TRIED!!!!" General Barracuda says: "Because we NEVER had an ARGUMENT that I WON!!!!" Bonnie says: "Well, it's NOT MY FAULT you couldn't keep up!" Karen shouts: "SHUT UP!!!! I've HAD IT! I've had ENOUGH of your LOVER'S quarrel!" General Barracuda yells: "WE'RE NOT LOVERS!!!!" Johnny Krill adds: "YET!" Plankton begins to put a gag over Bonnie's mouth, in an attempt to stop her talking! General Barracuda says: "Why didn't you TELL me that I was going to have a son?! I had a RIGHT to know!" Bonnie, muffled, yells: "You VANISHED to Atlantis with Master Coelaceanth and Ambrosia after you LEFT me!" General Barracuda says: "I WROTE!" Bonnie, muffled, yells: "Yeah, a YEAR later! By THEN, Bubble Bass was BORN, and I was MARRIED!!!!" General Barracuda asks: "Why are you even BOTHERING to tell ANYBODY about this NOW?!" Bonnie, muffled, yells: "Because I thought we were going to DIE!!!!" General Barracuda gets serious, and he says: "Not YET, we're NOT!!!!" General Barracuda LEAPS up, QUICKLY kicks Plankton into the side of the truck wall, grabs the keys with his teeth, gives them to Bubble Bass, so he can undo the locks on General Barracuda's arms, and than he procees to remove the gag from Bonnie Bass, and frees everyone else. Bonnie calmly says: "I'm sure I'm not the only woman besides Ambrosia, who know what it's like to be around you. I'm sure there must have been PLENTY of women in YOUR life who have had such an experience."


General Barracuda reluctantly nods his head, and he honestly says: "Well, there were a FEW, but they ALL had the same problem." Bonnie asks: "What was that?" General Barracuda romantically says: "They weren't YOU, Bonnie, they weren't you!" And they kiss each other on the lips! (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Okay, this probably isn't the most IDEAL way to rekindle a relationship, or to even START one, but at least it's SOMETHING! Who knows?! Maybe Blonda and I can go on our OWN adventures, as soon as she's up to it, of course!" / General Barracuda says: "In spite of all the differences we've had, I just couldn't help but fall back in love with her. I feel really bad about leaving her the way I did! I have to make it up to her, and be a GOOD husband to her, and a GOOD father to Bubble Bass! It's the least I could do, in order to atone for this whole mess!" / Bonnie says: "It's been quite a while since I've been kissed like that! That man truly DOES love me!" / Jenny says: "While I do have SOME concept about romance is, I don't THINK it's supposed to be THIS confusing!" / Johnny says: "I just wish that I could HAVE a romance, PERIOD!" (End Confessional) Karen shouts: "What's going ON back there?!" General Barracuda says: "Quiet!" And they quickly get down low to the ground! General Barracuda quietly asks Jenny: "Do you got a rocket launcher on you?!" Jenny pulls her programs up, and she says: "Sure do! Never leave home without one!" Bubble Bass asks: "Mom, what's the plan?" Bonnie laughs, and she says: "I don't think Horatio thinks THAT far ahead!" General Barracuda puts earmuffs over his gills, and he says: "You might want to cover your gills or hearing receptors!" Everyone quickly does so, and General Barracuda LAUNCHES the LOUD Rocket Launcher STRAIGHT forward into Karen's portion of the vehicle, causing the trunk and the actual driving portion the vehicle to split OFF from each other, Karen loses control, and CRASHES into a stalagmite, but is no worse for the wear!


The rest of the vehicle, is steadily going down a slant into the deeper portions of the cave! Johnny says: "Well, that's ONE problem down!" Jenny looks forward, and she says: "And one problem coming UP!!!!" And the path in the cave does a turn, but the vehicle DOESN'T, and it launches right off the path, and into an underground river! Johnny says: "Looks like we caught the EXPRESS to the lower part of the cave! We'll get to the Kracken in no time!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, I think you're bound to be right EVENTUALLY, I just hope that Tigress is doing all right, wherever she is!" / The camera switches to Tigress, as she has been searching through every section of the restaurant, and the cave, looking for the Organ of Doom! Tigress groans, and she says: "Oh, WHERE IS IT?!!! I should've WON this challenge FIFTEEN minutes AGO!!!! I SWEAR, Plankton and Karen are the WORST building and/or cave planners in HISTORY!!!! When I get my CLAWS on them, I will--!" Fee shouts: "Tigress! Over here!" And Tigress looks to where Fee is! And Tigress runs to her, and she sees that not only is Fee RIDING the Yeti Crab, she has FOUND the Organ of Doom! Tigress looks in genuine awe, and she says: "WOW! You TAMED the Yeti Crab?! You're more skilled than I thought!" Fee says: "Well, he's my friend/potential adopted big brother, but you've got the general idea!" The other Power Pandas appear, and Fee asks: "What kept you?!" Po says: "We ran into some old friends! Namely, Anti-Cosmo and his squandron of CLONE goons! It took us quite a while to get through his gamut of magical traps!" Tigress says: "At least you're all here! Now I can WIN this challenge!" Kowalski shouts: "Would you STOP THAT?!!! I'm getting REALLY sick of this, 'It's All About ME' attitude that you're giving everyone else! It's getting on my nerves!" Tigress says: "Are you saying you WANT to lodge a complaint against Master Shifu and the Furious Five?!"


Kowalski chortles, and he says: "Okay, who else?! So, you want to do this the HARD way, huh?!" Tigress seriously says: "Don't even THINK about it, SMALL fry!" Kowalski seriously says: "Oh YEAH?!" Tigress seriously says: "YEAH!!!!" And Kowalski PUSHES Tigress BACKWARDS, and her paws ACCIDENTALLY hit the chords on the Organ of Doom! It plays a FOREBODING tune, and a THIRD of the cave suddenly collapses to the LEFT of the contestants! Private asks: "What was that?!" Danny says: "Well, this IS the Organ of Doom!" There's a parchment of paper here!" Tigress looks at it, and she says: "It's a pressure-based mechanism! You have to play these chords in the RIGHT way, or else the cave is going to collapse, and we'll get sent right back to the start!" Private says: "Well, it's okay. Even TOONIES make mistakes! Just try not to make anymore!" Danny asks: "What's THAT all about?!" Private says: "I don't know. It just...sounded like the RIGHT thing to say!" (Confessional) Kowalski says: "I just want to state, for the record, that I had no way of knowing that playing a wrong tune on the Organ of Doom, would cause a section of the cave to collapse!" / Tigress says: "Kowalski has spunk! I'll give him that much! But if he TRIES to mess with ME again, it's NOT going to be pretty, for HIM!!!!" / Fee nods her head, and says: "Yep! Definitely making the RIGHT decision to get out of here, while I STILL can!" / Danny says: "Well, they certainly picked an appropriate NAME for the Organ of Doom! I just hope that it doesn't spell OUR doom!" (End Confessional) Tigress says: "Okay! The combination! This must be the musical knock!" And she plays a short, little jaunty tune, and Danny says: "Rachmaninoff." Kowalski says: "No, it's NOT!!!!" Danny says: "Well, it's classical, anyways!" But the organ clicks, and SWINGS the contestants around, and they SUDDENLY find themselves in an underground lagoon, and they see the pirate ship relatively close by! Private says: "There it is! There's the Pirate Ship of One-Eyed Billy!"


Kowalski says: "And the treasure that we need to find, is inside!" Po says: "WE must get that treasure!" Tigress says: "No! We MUST wait for Bubble Bass and the others first!" Danny says: "Hold it! Since when were YOU so concerned about the other contestants?!" Tigress says: "Don't you think this has been ALL too easy?! There MUST be a condition to winning OTHER than being the first contestant out, your WHOLE team has to come out first, TOO! Besides, it wouldn't be good for us to strand the other contestants behind!" Fee asks: "What even makes you think they're on their way?" Tigress says: "Trust me! I have a sixth sense about these things! They ARE on their way!" Private says: "You know, I have the strangest feeling that they are going to DROP in on us any minute now!" / The camera switches back to Bubble Bass and the others! Bubble Bass asks: "Are you able to get your GPS device up and running yet?" Jenny says: "It's been REALLY difficult with the lack of BARS down here, but I've almost got the map schematic of the cave system downloaded!" General Barracuda looks ahead, and he says: "Don't worry about THAT, yet!" Johnny asks: "Why?" Bubble Bass says: "Worry about the WATERFALL!!!!" And they drop down in the truck, except for Jenny, who uses her rocket boots to fly, and descends down gracefully. Jenny says: "I've got it! THREE times it drops on the way down!" Bonnie says: "THREE times, it DROPS?!" General Barracuda says: "Three times it drops!" Johnny asks: "What does THAT mean?!" General Barracuda points backwards, and he says: "Well, that was ONE..." And they see another waterfall ahead, and General Barracuda shouts: "TWO!!!!" And they drop again, except for Jenny, who once again flies, and descends gracefully! And General Barracuda looks, and sees the MOTHER of ALL cave waterfalls and General Barracuda weakly says: "Three." And the truck plummets for what FEELS like an eternity for them, but is really only a FEW seconds in reality! /


Kowalski says: "You know, Private, they STILL got to use the front door like everyone else! Just simmer down, okay?!" Danny HEARS something, and he says: "Guys, MOVE!!!!" And he pushes EVERYONE else out of the way, and Danny says: "Going Ghost!" And Danny QUICKLY turns phantom, and the truck CRASHES right OVER Danny's incorporeal form, and the others WEARILY stagger out of the truck, looking REALLY weary from the whole ordeal! Private says: "Oh, DEAR!!!! They really DID drop in on us!" Po says: "Never mind THAT!!!! They dropped in on DANNY!!!! Oh, DANNY!!!! Don't be DEAD, pal!!!!" Danny walks THROUGH the truck, and he says: "Who's dead? I'm fine!" Fee screams: "AHHH!!!! A GHOST!!!!" And she jumps RIGHT into the arms of the Yeti Crab! Kowalski says: "ASTOUNDING! A corporeal body, who can take on an incorporeal form! I've GOT to get a DNA sample, and reverse engineer it somehow!" Po says: "Okay, somebody BETTER give me some answers! What is the MEANING of all this?!" Private sighs, and he says: "Everyone this is Danny Fenton, otherwise known as, Danny Phantom!" Bubble Bass says: "No WAY! THE Danny Phantom?!" Tigress says: "I KNEW that there was something funny smelling in this cave! Turns out it was Danny Fenton all along!" Danny's body vibrates, and he suddenly shifts BACK into human form! Danny says: "What is going ON?!!!" And Danny gets his answer when the spirits of Marlon Brando, Bette Davis, and Rodney Dangerfield fly out of him! Marlon Brando's spirit says: "Danny, you've done it! You have PROVEN yourself a true contender, by risking YOUR life to save everyone else's and have done this contender proud! I give you my many years of acting skills, and toughness, as my reward to you. May you use it well." And Marlon Brando's spirit disappears. Bette Davis says: "You put on a WONDERFUL acting experience for me, REALLY you did! It's so nice to feel love and admiration again! And as such, I'm giving my passion and talent, to you! I'll see you in the pictures in my next life-time, REALLY I will!" And Bette Davis' spirit disappears.


Rodney Dangerfield says: "Well, I didn't think it would happen, but you didn't, you FINALLY gave me some respect! And to think, it only took you five and a half episodes of this show to do it! For giving me the sense of respect I've long looked for, I shall give you my sense of comedic timing and dry wit. And the knowledge of what kinds of movies to NOT star in, in case you want to have a respectable acting career! Thanks for everything, Danny! I hope to see you around in my next life-time!" And Rodney Dangerfield's spirit disappers! Po asks: "Okay, SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" Unfortunately, before Danny can say anything, the Giant Kracken from "Catscratch" appears, and it looks LARGE, and in charge! Danny says: "I'll explain later! Right now, WE need to take down this guy!" Tigress says: "Okay, YOU guys do that, while I take the treasure, and take all the glory of WINNING!!!!" And Tigress runs off towards the Pirate Ship! Johnny quickly runs after her, and Johnny says: "Not so FAST, Tigress! There's a TRAP on that SHIP!!!!" Johnny groans and says: "I can't BELIEVE Tigress is taking off AGAIN!!!! This feels like the Eight...THOUSANDTH time!" Fee says: "It hasn't been THAT often!" Johnny says: "I KNOW it hasn't! It just feels like it HAS!!!!" (Confessional) Fee says: "I am so SERIOUSLY NOT going to miss Tigress' attitude!" / Danny says: "I can't believe I actually did it! I fulfilled the last wishes of the famous celebrities, and I got all their skills and strengths to boot! Now, let's see how well it pays off against this Kracken!" (End Confessional) Danny says: "All right! Let me see what I can do! It's time to go GHOST, and give this Kracken a lesson! We're going BACK to School!" Fee asks: "WHAT?!" Kowalski says: "Rodney Dangerfield movie reference!" Danny goes ghost, and he flies around the Kracken, and he says: "Strength of Steve IRWIN!!!! Power of Marlon Brando! Agility of Bette Davis! Resourcefulness of Rodney Dangerfield!!!!"


And Danny flies RIGHT through the Kracken with a seemingly fatal blow, and it collapses into the lagoon! Jenny says: "Wow! That was an impressive FIGHT, Danny!" Danny says: "Thank you, Jenny! These skills are sure to be USEFUL in my fights, back in Caspar!" Private says: "You know, I heard that once you defeat a Kracken, you get a wish!" Bonnie says: "That's just an old wives tale! Who would ever believe such a thing..." The Kracken shouts: "Could be TRUE?!!!" And everyone stops dead in their tracks, as the Kracken rises up, and is flying over everybody else. The Kracken, with a voice like Maurice LaMarche says: "Young man, thou hast proven thine worth against me, and has beaten me in battle. For your courage and bravery, I shall grant you one wish in my power." Danny says: "Okay. I...wish for you to give immunity to Bubble Bass!" Bubble Bass says: "What?! Why me?!" Danny says: "Dude, you need it WAY more than I do! Tigress ISN'T going to keep you around forever! You NEED to eliminate HER, BEFORE she eliminates YOU!!!!" The Kracken says: "Very well, then! Immunity, shall now be given, to Bubble Bass!" And an Immunity Necklace appears around Bubble Bass! Tigress is busy GRABBING the treasure in the Pirate Ship, and she SEES the event, and she says: "WHAT?! Bubble Bass has WON IMMUNITY?! NO!!!!" Johnny FINALLY catches up, and he says: "Don't TOUCH One-Eyed Billy's--!!!!" But Tigress DOESN'T listen, and she tries to grab the treasure in the hands of the one-eyed skeleton fish, only for the skeleton to utter out an evil laugh, and Johnny weakly says: "Treasure." Suddenly, the CAVE starts to collapse in all around them! Tigress asks: "What's happening?!" Johnny says: "It's the trap of One-Eyed Billy! Anyone who tries to take what is RIGHTFULLY his, will cause the cave to collapse!" Tigress asks: "And you're ONLY telling ME about this now?!" Johnny asks: "Didn't you even SEE that 1980's movie?!" Tigress yells: "WHAT 1980's movie?!" Johnny says: "You know what? Escape now, argue later!" General Barracuda says: "Follow me, out this way!"


And the contestants and Bonnie Bass, quickly follow after General Barracuda, and they escape the cave system onto the beach shores of the island on Lake Michigan! Marlene waves the checkered flag, and she says: "It's over! It's ALL over!" Sniz says: "And it's about time, Bubble Bass WON immunity!" Tigress says: "I thought you SAID that whoever got the treasure out FIRST, would win immunity!" Sniz says: "True. However, I didn't know about the fact that by defeating a Kracken, you would get a wish. And since Danny Fenton decided to wish for Bubble Bass to get immunity, that wasn't against the rules. Therefore, Bubble Bass will be safe from elimination this night. Everyone else, is fair game!" General Barracuda says: "Speaking of Bubble Bass, turns out, he's MY son!!!!" Sniz shockingly asks: "YOUR son?!" General Barracuda says: "Don't worry, I'll treat him the same as any other contestant. In the meantime, there's something that I need to do!" Bonnie asks: "What's that?" General Barracuda seriously says: "Something that I should have done a LONG time ago, once I lost Ambrosia, and once you lost Bobby Bass. Bonnie Carp Bass, will you give this foolish man the chance he didn't take, and give it to me now? Will, you marry me?" Bonnie says: "Well, let me THINK about it...YES!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "I've got a FATHER!!!! I've got a father!" Danny says: "This has been ONE crazy night!" Sniz says: "And it's NOT over yet! We've got an elimination ceremony to attend! Everyone, to the campfire! It's time to VOTE someone off!"


(Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "I thought my mother would never love a man, the way she loved Bobby Bass. But as it turns out, she truly HAS loved General Barracuda all along! And you know? I've got the feeling that I'm going to love him to, in spite of his flaws. Looks like, he and I are more alike than we ever could have dreamed of. But at least, I'm going to be with Blonda and be the husband that she deserves!" / Danny says: "I HAD to give Bubble Bass the win, okay?! It was the RIGHT thing to do, as a hero! Plus, it's going to give me MAJOR bonus points in the Karma department!" / Po says: "Okay! Danny has been keeping WAY too many secrets from us! Not to mention, that with his ghostly powers, there's no telling WHAT kind of tricks he might pull on everyone else in order to get ahead! I'm sorry, but you've given us NO choice! We HAVE to vote you off!" / Tigress says: "Those jerks BETTER not be foolish enough to try to vote ME off! After all, I STILL have a Pendant of Life at my disposal, and now, I CAN use it on myself like I REALLY wanted to, instead of having to save the hide of Bubble Bass! It's nothing personal, MUCH!!!!" / Fee says: "I made it through the challenge, and I've got my Yeti Crab! All I need to do now, is leave the game!" (End Confessional) Everyone is at the campfire, and General Barracuda and Bonnie Bass are dressed up like a groom and bride. Marlene says: "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, to witness the union of General Horatio Barracuda, and Bonnie Carp Bass. If there is anyone here, who feels that these two should NOT be wed, speak now, or forever hold your peace. Do you, General Horatio Barracuda, take this woman, to be your lawfully wedded wife? Honor her, comfort her, keep her in sickness and in health, and keep only to her, so long as you both shall live?" General Barracuda says: "I do!" Marlene says: "And do you, Bonnie Carp Bass, take General Horatio Barracuda to be your lawfully wedded husband, as long as you both shall live?"


Bonnie says: "I do!" Marlene says: "Than by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride!" The now wed couple kiss each other, and throw the bouquet, and Bubble Bass catches it! Private says: "Wow! You're getting married NEXT?!" Bubble Bass says: "At least I already KNOW who it is that I want to marry, which is better than a lot of people!" Sniz says: "Okay! Now that we got that ceremony out of the way, it's time to get onto the Elimination Ceremony! Now, you all know the drill! You can only vote for one contestant, but THIS time, you can vote for a contestant on EITHER team, as long as it's not Bubble Bass, who has immunity! Just remember, there IS the Pendant of Life to worry about, so make your choices WISELY!" Po whispers to Tigress: "Tigress, vote off Danny, and I promise that I WON'T vote you off!" Tigress says: "Deal!" (Confessional) Danny thinks about it, and crosses off Tigress' playing card. Danny says: "I might NOT get another SHOT at this!" / Private thinks about it, and crosses of Danny's playing card. Private says: "Sorry, chum. But it's TOO risky to try to vote off Tigress right now! It's nothing personal!" / Kowalski thinks about it, and crosses off Danny's playing card. Kowalski says: "Statistically speaking, you're more likely to get the boot, than Tigress is anyways." / Jenny crosses off Tigress' playing card without ANY hesitation! Jenny says: "Nothing personal, but I would rather want to get rid of you NOW, instead of waiting TOO long, and NOT being able to do it!" / Fee thinks about it, and crosses off her OWN playing card! Fee says: "Eh, I want to get eliminated ANYWAYS! There's no CHANCE Tigress doesn't want ME gone!" / Tigress crosses off Danny's playing card without ANY hesitation! Tigress says: "See you NEVER, liar!" / Bubble Bass thinks about it, but crosses off Danny's playing card. Bubble Bass says: "Nothing personal, but my alliance with Tigress HAS to come first! I'm sure YOU would do the same!" / Johnny crosses of Tigress' playing card WITHOUT any hesitation! Johnny says: "This time, you MIGHT be gone!" (End Confessional)


Sniz says: "Voting over! It's time to reveal--!" Tigress says: "Hold IT!!!! The Pendant of Life, says HI, AGAIN!!!!" And she slams down the Pendant of Life on a wooden stump! Johnny screams: "NOT AGAIN!!!!" Sniz says: "The Pendant of Life is genuine, that means ALL votes for Tigress will NOT count! One vote for Tigress, by Danny, doesn't count; one vote for Tigress, by Jenny, doesn't count; one vote for Tigress, by Johnny Krill, doesn't count; one vote for Fee by...FEE?!!!" Fee says: "I honestly thought that I was going to BE targeted!" Sniz says: "And everyone else voted for Danny. That means that Danny Fenton, safe marshmallows go to everybody, EXCEPT for you!" And Danny QUICKLY dodges the Anti-Fairy marshmallow, which HITS a small acorn tree, and it CAUSES the small acorn tree, and ALL the acorns on it, to grow to a GIGANTIC size!!!! Brittany quickly rushes out and says: "GIANT acorns! I'm NUTS about giant acorns, you know, being a chipmunk and all! I've GOT to eat one of these!" Danny says: "Brittany, I'm not sure that's such a good idea, Anti-Fairy magic MADE that giant acorn possible!" But Brittany pays no heed, and EATS the Giant Acorn anyways! Brittany says: "Oh, be quiet, Danny! I know what I'm doing!" Danny says: "I sure HOPE so!" Sniz says: "Danny, the teams have spoken. Pack up your bags, and leave!" / Danny heads to the Slingshot of Shame with his bags, when suddenly, Fee says: "Hold it! Got room for TWO?!" And she has her OWN bags ready, and Fondue says: "Hold on! Only DANNY has been eliminated tonight, NOT you!" Fee says: "Maybe so, but I am announcing RIGHT now, that I am QUITTING this game show with the Yeti Crab, and I'm taking THIS giant diamond with me!" And she pulls the giant diamond out of her hair! General Barracuda says: "Uh, Fee, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but that's actually NOT a diamond, it's Cubic Zirconium, which looks VERY similar to, but is NOT actually a diamond, it's not really WORTH much!"


Fee looks at it, and says: "Eh, I think I'll keep it anyways! Oh! I know what I can do with it! I can use it to make a set of false teeth for my brother Foo! And there's probably some other stuff I can do with it, to!" Danny says: "Well, at least you have some goals!" Fee says: "I'm just taking this opportunity to leave now, while I still CAN leave, in ONE piece! Good-bye everyone, and good luck to you all; you're going to need it against Tigress!" General Barracuda says: "Eh, suit yourself!" And after putting protective gear on Danny Fenton, the Yeti Crab, and Fee, he loads them all onto the Slingshot of Shame, and LAUNCHES it! Fee shouts: "WHOO-HOO! BYE GUYS!!!!" Sniz says: "Dang! Now we're one contestant SHORT of where we're SUPPOSED to be!" Than Sniz gets an idea, and says: "Oh, Brittany?!" Brittany says: "What now?!" Sniz asks: "Do you want to do the most funnest idea in the world, EVER?!" Brittany shouts: "Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times, YES!!!!" Sniz says: "Okay, then. As of right now, you are BACK in the game, as a Killer Prawn!" Brittany says: "Wait, back in the game, as a Killer Prawn AGAIN?! What happens if I get eliminated?!" Sniz says: "Well, obviously, I hope you're smart enough to not have it happen to you a SECOND time. And even if it does, I'll STILL pay you a standard intern paycheck for competing anyways." Brittany thinks about it, and asks: "Is it worth MORE than I'm getting paid right now?" Sniz says: "You better believe it!" Brittany says: "Than I'm in! At least I was smart enough to NEVER try to vote off Tigress, so I'm feeling pretty good about my chances!" And Brittany leaves to join in the hotel with the other Killer Prawns. Sniz turns around, and says: "And just like that, Danny and Fee are now OUT of the game, Brittany is now back IN the game, so we are down six contestants, and have eight more to go! What kind of challenge will our two teams face next? Well, whatever they face, it will be the LAST team challenge of this season! So be sure to tune in, for the NEXT episode, of 'Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!' I am SO good at this!" /


Episode Notes: Eliminated Contestants: #14: Bessie Higgenbottom ("The Mighty B!"). #13: Rico ("The Penguins of Madagascar"). #12: Katarra ("Avatar: The Last Airbender"). #11. Theodore Seville ("Alvinnnn!!!! And The Chipmunks"). #10. Danny Fenton ("Danny Phantom"). #9. Fee ("Harvey Beaks"). / Remaining Contestants: Brittany Miller (Killer Prawns), Bubble Bass (Killer Prawns), Jenny XJ9 (Power Pandas), Johnny Krill (Killer Prawns), Kowalski (Power Pandas), Po (Power Pandas), Private (Power Pandas), Tigress (Killer Prawns). / Danny Fenton gets eliminated in this episode, and Fee quits, making this the first (and only), Double Elimination this season. Karen, Plankton, the Yeti Crab, and the Kracken from "Catscratch" all make a cameo appearance in this episode, the latter even returning with the "Defeat a Kracken, you get a wish rule". Bubble Bass wins immunity for the second episode in a row. It is revealed that General Barracuda is Bubble Bass' biological father in this episode, which make Bubble Bass a half-brother to Pearl, and to Craig Mammalton. General Barracuda and Bonnie Bass get married in this episode. Plot references to this episode include "The Goonies" (the episode even features a reference to the movies' theme song, "The Goonies R Good Enough"), as well as "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." / Personal Notes: While I wanted to have Danny follow a similar arc to Mike from "Total Drama Revenge of the Island", I didn't want to utilize the multiple-personality disorder, nor did I want to DRAG out his sub-plot for FAR longer than it was neccesary to. That's why I came up with the substitute, that Danny Fenton was being possessed by the spirits of famous deceased celebrities, and helping them out would help Danny gain their skills, and help put them to rest as well. Once Danny helped the famous spirits out, there was sadly no real plot for him left in the show, so he had to be the next one gone. As for Fee, I wanted to make her a more "Family Friendly" version of Anne Maria, which is why I DROPPED the Romantic Triangle angle from Fee, and had her more focused on trying to get something out of her time as a contestant on this season. Thankfully, getting the Yeti Crab and a giant Cubic Zirconium, was, as far as Fee was concerned, a nice consolation prize. Plus, Fee is probably going to be a LOT better off leaving now, compared to some other contestants who STILL have to deal with Tigress, that's for sure! / I hope you enjoyed reading this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

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I'm starting to feel like the only reason I write, is because I'm bored. But hey, at least it's a REASON!!!! All joking aside, it's time for another episode of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" / Sniz is in the camera monitor room, and he says: "Last time, on 'Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back', it was night-time on the island, and our two teams, engaged in an underground quest, to find some lost treasure. Fee found the Yeti Crab, freed it, and even made it into a friend/potential adopted brother, nice! Bubble Bass found out that General Barracuda, was in fact, his biological father, and General Barracuda even became a legally married husband to Bubble Bass' mother, as a nice bonus; cool! Meanwhile, Tigress was once again on her, 'It's All About Me' attitude, which backfired on her immensely, when Danny Fenton defeated the Giant Kracken, with the skills he gained, from helping the famous celebrity spirits who were possessing him; long story! Danny ended up getting a wish from the Giant Kracken, which Danny used, to give immunity to Bubble Bass. Bad mistake, Danny! It turns out the Power Pandas, did NOT take Danny lying to them lightly; and with the help of the Killer Prawns, voted Danny off! Meanwhile, Fee decided she was going to get, while the getting was still good, and quit the game with the Yeti Crab. So, I decided to make the game more interesting, by adding in Brittany Miller, BACK as a contestant! Will Brittany fare better as a contestant in her second go-around? Which team will win the final team challenge this season? And can ANYONE, stop the juggernaut that is Tigress?! Find out, on this swashbuckling episode, of 'Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!' Arrr, mateys!" /


"Pirates Of Lake Michigan: On Stranger Prides" / The camera opens up on Bubble Bass' hotel room. It is early morning, and Bubble Bass is just waking up, to greet the day! Bubble Bass says: "I can't remember the last time I felt so good! I have a good father figure in my life, I won immunity, and I'm living in the lap of luxury! Plus, I've got a woman, that I want to marry! I mean, if it weren't for Tigress, I wouldn't have ANYTHING to worry about, except for the challenges that I have to get past! BUT, I'll cross that bridge WHEN I have to come to it, and not before! Speaking of Blonda, I wonder how she IS doing anyways? Luckily, she left me her calling card! I'll just give her a quick buzz to see how she is!" Bubble Bass pushes in the number, and we get a split-screen shot, with Blonda's fat fish form, in dark silhouette. Blonda says: "Bubble Bass?! I didn't expect to hear YOU calling me until this season was over, or unless you got eliminated, which I hope doesn't happen!" Bubble Bass says: "I was feeling in a romantic mood. You know, my mom just got married to General Barracuda, and HE turned out to be my biological father! Pretty amazing that I'm the son of general, isn't it?!" Blonda sputters in disbelief, and she says: "WOW!!!! No wonder you had...such an AMAZING ability to please me!" Bubble Bass asks: "Is THAT what they're calling it now?" Blonda says: "It is when you're restricted to a PG rating!" Bubble Bass actually laughs, and he says: "Fair, enough! So, how are you coming along?" Blonda says: "I'm one month pregnant, so far. No kicks yet, but I can tell you, that you're going to be a father to a baby boy. He's probably going to have the scale color that I currently have, which is purple in case you forgot, but he should STILL have some of your...body build, to let everyone know that he is yours." Bubble Bass says: "Speaking of father, I just want to make sure that I do BETTER than what General Barracuda did! I'm going to be there for my son! I would really like it, if you would marry me!"


Blonda sputters, and she says: "MARRY?! ME; YOU?!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, why ever not? I've become QUITE a very nice guy, in case you've been watching, in SPITE of Anti-Cosmo's attempts to make me turn out otherwise, and I've been a VERY loyal friend to Tigress, even though she's not even making anywhere NEAR the effort to be nice to me, as I am to her! Plus, I still have $21.6 Million worth in those valuable sea jewels, once I give away 10% of the $24 million to Johnny Krill, of course!" Blonda says: "First I'm hearing of this! I'll be honest, I had NO idea how this would turn out. But you...you're really turning out to be a LOT better than the man I thought you were. I never thought a woman like me, could ever truly love a man, let alone, one like YOUR kind." Bubble Bass asks: "What do you mean, 'MY kind'?" Blonda says: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put it THAT way! That was uncalled for. The point is, seeing you develop over these episodes, has made me realize, how greatly I over-valued my own personal character traits. And truthfully, I'm not the woman you deserve either. That's why I've been taking on-line courses, in order to help myself be the woman you deserve. You're a good guy, Bubble Bass. And I'm going to become a better woman. So, when this season is over, I'm going to marry you, and become a mortal woman. Sure, I could live forever. But living forever without you, is not a life worth living. And since making you immortal would be against 'Da Rules', making myself mortal is not. So, what do you say? Do you WANT to marry me?" Bubble Bass excitedly says: "Yes, YES! A thousand times, YES! You know, there were some around here who had their doubts, not naming names, but now I can truthfully say that you LIKE me! You REALLY LIKE ME!" Blonda says: "Hadn't heard anyone quote Sally Field in a while! So, it's all settled! I'll get the wedding ceremony preparations all set up, and at your earliest convenience, we'll be legally wed!" Bubble Bass says: "You've got it, my FIANCEE!" Blonda romantically says: "I think I could grow to LIKE this sort of relationship! Call me back, as soon as you're out of the competition; but don't throw it for my sake. I still want you to do your best. You've certainly already done BETTER than what a lot of people THOUGHT you would, not naming names, so why stop now? Why don't you REALLY try to impress people, and try going ALL the way?!" Bubble Bass says: "Blonda, you've given me confidence that I never thought I COULD have! I won't make any promises, lest I jinx anything, but I will certainly promise to do my best!" Blonda says: "That's all I wanted to hear! So, like I said, call me as soon as you can, you have my phone number." Bubble Bass says: "Will do! Bye!" Blonda says: "Good-bye!"

Bubble Bass hangs up, and he triumphantly shouts: "YES!!!!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "For the first time in my life, things are starting to go right. I mean, becoming a good guy, it's like I hit the Karmic Jackpot or something! But I'm certainly not going to take that good luck for granted. I have to keep trying to be as good as I can be, no matter how hard Tigress or anyone else tries to make it for me. It won't be easy. But then again, most of the really GOOD things in life aren't easy to begin with, anyways!" (End Confessional) The camera shifts to Tigress' room, and she is with Fee and Johnny Krill. Tigress says: "Okay, riddle me this! How is it possible, that LARD BUTT Bubble Bass, has managed to win TWO immunity challenges in a ROW, while I have gotten DIDDLY SQUAT?!" Johnny says: "Well, for starters, I think your LOUSY attitude problem has a LOT to do with it!" Tigress yells: "WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY ATTITUDE?!!!" Brittany says: "Well, NOTHING! If you're 'Xena: The Warrior Princess', who I can mention by name, since I'm not planning on making any money off of that!"


Tigress says: "Come on! I'm SERIOUS!!!! I've been giving it my ALL since day one! I do ALL the work, and SOMEHOW, Bubble Bass ALWAYS winds up providing with the win! What gives?" Johnny says: "Well, Bubble Bass DOES have an incentive to win, that doesn't just REVOLVE around WINNING, Tigress!" Tigress asks: "Really? How is THAT?!" Brittany says: "Well, he has a woman named Blonda, waiting for him to emerge triumphant, he has a mother he wants to impress, AND a brand new father he wants to make proud! Not to mention, IF he wins, he will prove that EVERYTHING that everyone in Bikini Bottom, has ever SAID about him, was WRONG, and that he IS a capable, competent, able member of society, and of Bikini Bottom by extension!" Tigress says: "That's NO excuse! I have actual skills! Doesn't that count for ANYTHING anymore?!" Johnny says: "Once again, we come to the same root of your BIGGEST problem, that you simply FAIL to comprehend! You think that this is all about, 'You, You, You'. Well, the last team challenge is going to take PLACE soon, Tigress! So, the Fairy Tale is over." Johnny than shouts to Tigress: "WELCOME TO REAL LIFE!!!! You WANT to WIN the game so BADLY?! EARN it, and show some FREAKING empathy ONCE, in a while!" Tigress angrily says: "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!" Johnny rhetorically says: "NO, YOU, Take that back!" Tigress says: "How DARE YOU, you insolent PEASANT?! Nobody talks to ME that way! Nobody!" Than Tigress shouts with an echoing effect: "NOBODY! Nobody! Nobody..." Johnny mockingly says: "Well, what have we got here, Brittany? Those flashy eyes, those fleshed cheeks, those trembling lips. You know SOMETHING, Tigress? You are UGLY, when you're angry!" Tigress angrily says: "That does it! You and your attitude ARE--." Brittany interrupts, and says: "Please! Total Athlete, Tigress, if I may, we have a team challenge coming up, so I suggest we all return to our own rooms, and prepare for the event!" Tigress simply walks into her restroom in a huff, and slams the door behind her! Johnny and Brittany leave Tigress' room, and Johnny says: "I think she's actually better. She SOUNDS nicer now!" Brittany says: "Oh, yeah! That was the BEST! I don't know why, but for some reason, I'm starting to feel ITCHY all of a sudden!"

(Confessional) Tigress says: "Now that I know that Bubble Bass is the son of General Barracuda, both biologically and through legal means, he has now become a LEGITIMATE challenge in my mind! Don't get me wrong, I'm STILL going to take him to the Final Three with me! It just means that I can hold LESS back than what I was going to BEFORE! Still, I SHOULD have a back-up plan! I guess that means I'm going to have to FIND the Pendant of Life, AGAIN! No way the producers will make it easy for me LIKE they did the last time! Still, I didn't come THIS far to be voted off by some SORE losers! I plan on going ALL the way! And there is NOTHING that is going to get in the way of that!" / Johnny laughs, and he says: "I hope Tigress just said that, 'NOTHING would come between her and winning', or something like that! Because, as my old man is so fond of saying, 'Pride ALWAYS goes before the FALL!' And the BIGGER the ego, the HARDER the fall!" / Brittany says: "Ever since I ate that Giant Acorn the other night, my whole body has been feeling itchy! Either that, or it's just normal growing pains, one or the other!" (End Confessional) The action shifts to the cabins being used by the Power Pandas. Jenny looks at a picture of Danny Fenton, and she says: "Sigh, I miss having Danny around. He was a good guy." Po says: "You WOULD think so! After all, he didn't LIE to you, the way he did to the REST of us!" Private says: "To be fair, I knew about it to." Po asks: "And you DIDN'T think it would be IMPORTANT for the REST of us to know what Danny Fenton was all about?!"


Private says: "Well, for starters, he considered the whole matter PRIVATE, and I DON'T mean, myself! He was in a difficult position! Jenny and I were just trying to help him in the best way that we could!" Po says: "Well, for future reference, the next time you want to help someone, run it by the REST of us, BEFORE, you make a decision like that!" Kowalski says: "That may be a moot point, Po. We're about to be faced with the last team challenge today! Once we get past this team challenge, it will be every contestant for themself, not counting alliances." Jenny says: "Well, I for one, hope we can all still be aligned in an alliance once the team portion of this season is over. It would HELP us be able to eliminate Tigress!" Po asks: "Why would you WANT to eliminate Tigress?!" Private rolls his eyes, and says: "HELLO!!!! She's FREAKING borderline PSYCHO attack freak! Not to mention, her personality is borderline narcissistic psychopath, and that's WITHOUT getting into her ingrained sense of HAVING to win!" Kowalski says: "WOW! Reading my analysis charts are REALLY paying off for you, Private!" Private says: "Thank you! And Po, I know that you LOVE Tigress, but when it comes right down to it, do you REALLY think Tigress is going to want to take YOU, to the Final Five? This is TIGRESS we're talking about! She DOESN'T want to compete against you! She's going to take the weakest, least skilled, least athletic set of contestants she can POSSIBLY get, just so she can run CIRCLES around them, and get an EASY path to the championship win! You've GOT to eliminate her, BEFORE she eliminates YOU!" Po says: "Tigress would do NO such thing! Unlike Zarbon and Bulma, Tigress GENUINELY loves me, and WE have to work together back in the Valley of Peace! Tigress would NEVER put our relationship in jeopardy, and I DON'T mean the game show!"


Kowalski sighs, and he says: "All right, suit yourself, Po. Just don't come RUNNING to Private and me, when we inevitably turn out to be right, because all Private and/or I will say to you, is, 'I told you so'!" (Confessional) Kowalski sighs, and he says: "Sometimes, that's the problem with romance based alliances! A lot of them start off as idealistic and blissful. But when push comes to shove; inevitably, the more aggressive member of the alliance will ALWAYS strike first, and leave their partner holding the bag, metaphorically speaking, of course!" / Private says: "Kowalski and I are in a pretty good position right now. So far, we've kept ourselves from being TOO low on anyone's radar to target for elimination, but we have kept ourselves relevant enough, to keep from being completely written off as potential season winners! However, we certainly can't keep that act up once the team challenge of the portion ends, because Tigress is GOING to target us, REGARDLESS of whether or not we TRY to target her! Therefore, we have to step up our game! If Tigress WANTS a challenge, she's going to find that WE penguins, are NOT creatures that she can just PUSH over anytime she WANTS! If she tries to push us, we're GOING to push back, and THAT'S when she's going to fall!" / Po says: "I don't care WHAT those penguins say! Tigress' romance with me is stronger than ANY game show! I would do ANYTHING for Tigress, and she would do ANYTHING for me! Tigress and I are going to go to the Final Two TOGETHER! I just KNOW it!" / Jenny says: "Statistically speaking, anytime a contestant says that they, 'KNOW' something is going to happen, they always, inevitably, sooner or later, almost ALWAYS turn out to be wrong!" (End Confessional) Over the loud-speakers, Sniz's voice suddenly speaks to the contestants! Sniz, with a pirate accent, says: "Arrr! Avast, ye mateys! Tis time for the last team challenge! Everyone report to Lake Michigan, before I keel-haul the lot of you!" Private says: "A pirate based challenge? How cliche!" Kowalski sighs, and says: "Well, statistically, this show was bound to HAVE to do one EVENTUALLY!" /

The two teams gather near the dock, situated at the water's edge of Lake Michigan, and they see two GENUINE replicas, of late 16th century, Spanish Armada galleons! Johnny says: "WOAH!!!! You're REALLY going all out for this challenge, aren't you?!" Sniz, wearing a pirate's outfit, and with a fake parrot on his shoulder, Sniz says: "Arrr, only the BEST for ye mateys!" Than Sniz DROPS the pirate accent, and in his normal voice, says: "But seriously, this is our LAST team challenge this season, and we thought it would be fitting to end it with a BANG, hopefully literally! The challenge this time may SOUND easy, but it probably WON'T be, and that all winds down to, how hard EACH team tries to outdo each other! Each team will take their pirate ship from here, to a smaller island located in Lake Michigan. Along the way, you will have to avoid the call of the beautiful but dangerous Sirens, battle rogue pirates, played by the crew from the Salty Spitoon, and get to the island. Once there, find, but DON'T drink, from the Fountain of Youth!" Tigress says: "Excuse me! The Fountain of Youth is SUPPOSED to be in Florida, not in an island in Lake Michigan!" Anti-Cosmo appears, and he says: "I have a magic wand, your argument is invalid." Sniz says: "And once you find the Fountain of Youth, race back here, and be the first team to get to port. The team that does so, will win immunity! It's that simple! And one more thing, hidden somewhere along the course, is the valuable Pendant of Life! If you have the time, or you're feeling REALLY lucky, you MIGHT want to try searching for it! After all, an ounce of prevention, is worth a pound of cure!" Tigress coyly says: "Thank you for that MOST helpful information!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "As in, I sure AM going to find it FIRST! Make NO mistake about THAT!" (End Confessional)


Jenny looks over the two Spanish Galleons, and she says: "Um, I don't mean to be critical, but, how are we supposed to MANAGE these two big boats? We each only have four contestants! A proper crew needs MORE!" Sniz says: "Not to worry! We have it ALL taken care of, thanks to TWO returning guests! Back from Season Two and Season Three, it's everyone's favorite MUSCULAR lobster, Larry the Lobster!" Larry rolls right into the screen, wearing his trade-mark green shorts again! Larry says: "Ah, it feels so GOOD to be back!" Sniz says: "And also returning, thanks to court-mandated community service, everyone's LEAST favorite contestant, Angelica Pickles!" Angelica steps out of a limosuine, and everyone goes: "BOO!!!! BOO!!!!" Angelica says: "Oh, go 'BOO' yourselves! I'm only here, on account of my bad behavior LAST season, and the judge says I have to help a team out THIS season, if I want to get my CELL PHONE priviledges back!" Jenny says: "It's nice to meet you in person, Angelica." Angelica says: "I'm sorry, I HAVE this policy of NOT speaking to LOSERS!" Jenny says: "I'm NOT a loser...unless, everyone ELSE thinks I am!" Kowalski says: "Don't worry! We have NO intention of thinking that!" Sniz says: "And to decide who gets who, we'll settle the matter with a coin toss! Po, Johnny, as team leaders, you'll decide who gets what. Johnny, you'll make the call. If you're right, you get first pick! If you're wrong, Po gets first pick! Call it!" Johnny says: "Heads!" Sniz flips the coin, and it lands tail-side up! Johnny says: "RATS! Tails!" Sniz says: "Po, who do you want?" Po says: "Larry, no contest!" Sniz says: "That means that the Killer Prawns get Angelica by default!" Angelica walks over to the Killer Prawns, and Tigress says: "And DON'T think that I'm going to let you SLACK off, EITHER! You are GOING to be WINNING this challenge for me, and YOU are GOING to LIKE it!" And Angelica is taken ABACK by this statement!


(Confessional) Angelica says: "Wow! Did I sound THAT narcissistic and deluded when I was a COMPLETE villain?! Why didn't somebody TELL me that I was sounding SO stupid?! Then again, I probably wouldn't have listened anyways, and probably DIDN'T if I'm being completely honest with myself!" / Larry says: "I sure did luck out! I actually wanted to BE with the Power Pandas, and I GET to be with the Power Pandas! It will be nice to help Po get the win, hopefully!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, teams, to your boats! Power Pandas, you get the green boat! Killer Prawns, you get the red boat! And if you need a refresher, there are instruction manuals on deck, that tells you how to run a ship! They are SURE to come in handy!" Brittany says: "Aye-aye, captain!" Sniz says: "Hey, is it just me, or do you LOOK like you're a little taller?" Tigress asks: "Are you choosing NOW to have a growth spurt?" Brittany says: "I don't think this feels natural!" Kowalski gasps, and he says: "The giant ACORN!!!! Brittany, that giant acorn ABSORBED the Anti-Fairy magic that was in the Anti-Fairy Marshmallow! By eating it, you must have ABSORBED the magic that CAUSED the giant acorn to grow, and now, it's causing YOU to grow!" Johnny asks: "Is this going to be a problem?" Brittany says: "In terms of clothes, no! It's a good thing I'm wearing SPANDEX clothing! Guaranteed to stretch to fit ANY size, or DOUBLE your money back!" Bubble Bass says: "Good thing! The media watchdogs would have a FIT if YOUR clothes ripped!" Tigress asks: "How much WEIGHT can a Spanish Galleon hold?" Sniz says: "Look, if the Spanish Galleon can support ANGELICA'S massive ego, I'm sure it can hold Brittany, no matter HOW big she gets!" Angelica sarcastically says: "Ho, ho, very funny. Ha, ha. It IS to laugh!" Marlene says: "All right! Enough small talk, it's time to get this show on the road! Or on the water, as the case may be! Teams, to your boats!" And the two teams load their respective boats! Marlene says: "Teams! On your marks, get set--." (Blows Whistle!) Marlene shouts: "GO!!!!" And the two teams launch from the port, with the Power Pandas slowly pulling ahead! Sniz shouts: "By the way, we have a previously unused song idea that we want you sing! So, if you want to show a little enthusiasm, why don't you sing? It would bring in the ratings!" Angelica says: "Just so long as it's not a song by HEART, I'm golden!" Sniz shouts: "Since you're not evil anymore, I'll allow it! Sing, The Beatles' song, 'All Together Now'!" /


Larry sings: "One, two, three, four; can I have a little more? Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, I love you." Johnny sings: "A, B, C, D, can I bring my friend to tea? E, F, G, H, I, J, I love you." Brittany sings: "Bom bom bom bompa bom, sail the ship!" Po, to Jenny: "Bompa bom, chop the tree." (And she chops a submerged tree in the water). Tigress, to Angelica: "Bompa bom, skip the rope!" (And Tigress FORCES Angelica to jump over a rope!) Angelica, sarcastically: "Bompa bom, look at me." Po, and Bubble Bass alternate: "All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now." Jenny sings: "Black, white, green, red." Bubble Bass points to a picture of Blonda: "Can I take my friend to bed? Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue, I love you." Private and Kowalski alternate: "All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now." Larry sings: "Bom bom bom bompa bom, sail the ship! Bompa bom, Chop the tree! Bompa bom, skip the rope! Bompa bom, look at me!" Everyone sings: "All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now. All together now!" / And the song ends, and Sniz says: "And there they go, off on their epic journey across Lake Michigan! It's sure to be an exciting excursion for them, and a thrilling adventure to witness! How will it turn out? We'll find out, once we come back for some mandatory messages, from our gracious sponsors, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! Arrr, mateys!" / (Commercial Break) /
I'll break here, and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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You know the drill; bored, nothing to do EXCEPT to write something, hopefully make your day a little bit better. Here is the second and final part of the "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back" episode, "Pirates Of Lake Michigan: On Stranger Prides", starting now. / After the commercials end, the camera opens up on Marlene, back on the island. Marlene says: "Welcome back to the action already in progress. The two teams are in hot pursuit for the Fountain Of Youth, but there obstacles in their way, and they about to come upon them, right now!" / The camera switches to the Power Pandas, in their Spanish Galleon. Jenny is stearing the ship, thanks to having the necessary job skills downloaded into her computer-based memory, while Private and Kowalski are busy making sure the sails are catching the maximum amount of wind, while Po and Larry look out for any danger. Po asks: "Say, Larry, have you ever fought against any pirates?" Larry says: "Personally, no, I haven't. But I'm not one to shy away from danger. After all, I fought against Master Vile in season two, lest you forget that important fact. Helping you fight against pirates would be par for the course for me!" Private looks out ahead, and he says: "Forget pirates! We've got some SIRENS to worry about!" And sure enough, the mermaids from "The Legend of the Bikini Bottom Triangle" episode, are on an outcropping of rocks, singing a siren song, which is actually a 1985 hit song, by a band called The Mary Jane Girls, called, "In My House!" /


The Mermaids sing: "Boy, you can just best believe I'm the only girl in your life. I'll be your sugar in the morning and the sweet stuff you need at night. And you can just best believe when it comes down to makin' love, I'll satisfy your every need and every fantasy you think of. So when you need a little piece of mind, come on over, boy, any time. I'll keep you happy and so satisfied, in my house, in my house. So when you need some love and tenderness, and it's me, baby, that you miss. Here's the key to unlock the door, to my house, my house. Ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. Boy, any time, day or night, when you call me, I will be there. Just call me up on the phone when you need someone 'round to care. And when you feel sad and blue, you just come and see me anytime. I'll kiss away all your tears, and your fears you can leave behind. So when you need a little piece of mind, come on over, boy, any time. I'll keep you happy and so satisfied, in my house, in my house. So when you need some love and tenderness, and it's me, baby, that you miss; here's the key to unlock the door, to my house, in my house. Ooh! In my house! Ooh-ooh-ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. Ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. Ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. Ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh...in my house. Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh." / Private notices himself UNWILLINGLY drifting closer to the Sirens! Private says: "Kowalski! Those Sirens are singing catchy hit songs by one-hit wonders from the 1980's! I can't fight it!" Kowalski says: "You've GOT to, man! Jenny, QUICK!!!! Tie us up until we're safely out of range!" Jenny asks: "But what about me?" Po says: "The sirens call only seems to be affecting us! You're a female robot, so you're immune!" Jenny says: "Lucky for you!"


 And Jenny quickly finds some rope, and ties the guys up to the main mast at the center of the ship! Jenny says: "There! Now you CAN'T move a muscle!" Private asks: "But what if one of us has to SNEEZE or something?" Jenny says: "Than point your beak or mouth AWAY from everyone else!" Kowalski says: "Somehow, that doesn't SOUND very helpful!" / Meanwhile, the Killer Prawns are approaching the Sirens, as well! Angelica says: "UGH!!!! And I thought being tortured by music from Heart was a bad thing! I can't believe I've gotten dragged into THIS awful thing!" Johnny says: "You call THIS awful?! Man, their music is KILLER!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Don't go NEAR them! Don't you know what Sirens DO to guys that fall into their traps?! They COOK you, than EAT you! Or WORSE!" Johnny asks: "What could be WORSE than THAT?!" Bubble Bass says: "GIFT Shops!" Johnny gasps, and says: "Than tie me up, quick!" Brittany asks: "But what about Bubble Bass?!" Bubble Bass says: "Those Sirens aren't affecting ME; I'm ALREADY in love with Blonda, and THAT over-powers their spell!" Brittany says: "Lucky!" Tigress looks ahead, and she says: "FORGET about the Sirens, we've got rogue pirates at High Noon!" And sure enough, the Salty Spitoon gang start FIRING loud cannons at both the Power Pandas, AND the Killer Prawns! Angelica screams: "AHHH!!!! I'm going to die, I'm going to DIE!!!! I'm gonna be BLOWN up, and than I'm going to die!!!!" (Confessional) Angelica tearfully writes what APPEARS to be a Last Will and Testament! Angelica says: "To my mother, and my father, I leave my entire collection of trophies, medals, awards, and other academic achievements, that I have earned throughout the years. To my two younger cousins, Tommy and Dil, I leave..." Than Angelica changes her tone, and angrily says: "NOTHING!!!! Earn it YOURSELVES, you SLACKERS!" (End Confessional) Bubble Bass looks at their ship, and notices that it is slowing DOWN, due to Brittany getting even BIGGER!!!!


Bubble Bass discreetly says: "Tigress! We need to address the ELEPHANT in the room that we NEED to get RID of!" Brittany says: "I heard that! And I agree! Get RID of ANGELICA'S massive ego! We've got to, lighten the LOAD!!!!" Tigress, with faux empathy, says: "Oh, you want to lighten the LOAD!!!!" Tigress quickly GRABS Brittany, and Tigress says: "EXCELLENT IDEA!!!!" And Tigress THROWS Brittany over-board! Tigress says: "And Angelica, YOU make yourself USEFUL for a change, and dive underwater!" Angelica asks: "Whatever FOR?!" Tigress says: "For the Pendant of LIFE, of course! I'd do it myself, but I finally got my FUR looking just the way I WANT it to look, and I don't want to break a nail!" Johnny says: "HELLO!!!! We're standing RIGHT HERE!!!! We can HEAR every single WORD you are SAYING!!!!" Tigress says: "Than I don't have to repeat myself! Besides, who's going to STOP ME?!!!" Than EVERYONE begins to feel a gigantic RUMBLING around them, as who should EMERGE from Lake Michigan, EXCEPT for Brittany, who has NOW grown to be a WHOLE fifty feet HIGH!!!! Johnny Krill says: "A 50 foot woman INEXPLICABLY appearing in the middle of a large body of water in a pirate adventure?! What kind of weird experience are we living in ANYWAYS?!!!" Bubble Bass says: "At least in THIS case, we KNOW what CAUSED her growth!" Brittany suddenly feels the Pirates FOOLISHLY firing their cannons at her! But to Brittany's now gigantic size, they feel less effective than peas being shot out of a pea shooter, and she SLAMS into the pirates' ship, forcing them to swim away from their sinking ship! Tigress says: "Hey! How DARE you?! Attacking the Pirates was totally MY thing! I'm SUPPOSED to be the BIG action star around HERE! I WIN all the CHALLENGES!!!! Turn around and FIGHT like me, unless you're a COWARD!!!!" And in a big, BOOMING voice, Brittany says: "WHAT DID MEAN LADY CALL ME?!!!"


Johnny says: "Tigress, if you ONLY listen to me for ONCE in your LIFE, do it NOW, and WALK away FOREVER!!!!" But Tigress either doesn't listen, doesn't care, or doesn't TAKE Brittany seriously, or any combination of, or ALL of the above, and she simply says: "I'll say it to your FACE!!!! You ARE a COWARD!!!!" Brittany gets up CLOSE to the Pirate Ship, and she loudly says: "COME ON, THEN!!!! SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!!!!" Tigress says: "GLADLY!!!!" And she RUSHES up to Brittany's face, and, PUNCH, PUNCH, PUNCHES her in her left cheek, only to notice that Brittany isn't even FLINCHING, and Tigress meekly says: "Uh-oh!" And Brittany GRABS Tigress, in Brittany's now GIGANTIC-sized fist! Angelica asks: "Brittany isn't attacking ME?!" Bubble Bass says: "Why WOULD she? You haven't been antagonizing HER, all season long, the way, Tigress has!" Tigress screams: "WHAT?!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Look! You WANTED me to be honest to you, now you're getting it, whether YOU like it or not! And SPOILER alert, not EVERYONE who is HONEST to you, thinks that stroking your ego, is the HIGHLIGHT of their lives, and everyone LIVES to lose to YOU!!!!" Tigress says: "If I could GET my arms FREE, I will..." Brittany menacingly says: "Do WHAT?!!!" Tigress gulps, and meekly says: "Mother!" / Jenny spots the situation happening with Brittany and Tigress, and Jenny says: "Po! Brittany has grown to an impressive 50 feet from the Giant Acorn that she ate! And she's GOT Tigress!" Kowalski says: "Better HER than US, I should think!" Private says: "But Brittany can't HURT another contestant, no matter HOW horrid they've been to everyone else! Someone has to stop her!" Jenny says: "Well, I do have ONE thing!" Jenny flies closer to Brittany, but not TOO close, to avoid any possible attacks! Jenny pulls out a megaphone, and she shouts: "Hey, Brittany!" Brittany shouts: "WHAT?!!!"


Jenny pulls out the "Total Cartoon" rule-book out of her database, and Jenny says: "Rule 42, all persons more than a mile high, must LEAVE the game IMMEDIATELY!" Brittany says: "I AM NOT A MILE HIGH, AND I'M NOT LEAVING!!!! NOT UNTIL TIGRESS HAS LEARNED SOME RESPECT!!!!" Jenny yells: "She's NOT listening to REASON!!!!" Kowalski says: "Than ATTACK her!" Jenny says: "I'm NOT going to get hit with Penalty Votes!" Po says: "Than throw me to Brittany! Maybe I can REASON with her!" Larry says: "Okay! I sure hope YOU know what you're doing, because I sure don't!" And Larry throws Po to Brittany! Po lands on Brittany's back, and Po IMMEDIATELY tries to PUNCH, PUNCH, PUNCH her, only for Brittany to laugh, and say: "NICE MASSAGE, BUT YOU LACK SUBTLETY!!!!" And Brittany simply GRABS Po in her OTHER hand! Brittany says: "WELL, WELL, THE PANDA AND THE TIGER, TOGETHER AGAIN, AT LONG LAST!!!!" Po weakly says: "Okay, maybe we got off on the WRONG foot, but I was simply trying to save Tigress like a GOOD boyfriend would! You've got to believe me, Tigress just wants what is best for her team, the same way I do!" Brittany says: "IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT, PANDA!!!! TIGRESS MAY HAVE BEEN A GOOD COMPETITOR, BUT NOW, SHE'S CHIPMUNK PELLETS!!!!" Tigress nervously says: "You don't want to eat ME!!!! I'd be so TOUGH, and...gamey!" Po says: "And I'm 776 pounds of muscle! That would ruin YOUR diet, QUICK!!!!" Brittany says: "TRUE, I AM WATCHING MY FIGURE! PERHAPS ITS TIME I SPARE YOU!!!!" And Brittany THROWS Po and Tigress to the island where the Spanish Galleons are headed, and to the HORRORS of Sniz and Fondue, Po and Tigress land RIGHT in the middle of the Fountain Of Youth! Sniz asks: "Fondue, is THIS going to be a problem?!" Fondue says: "I hope not! General Barracuda, get to that island, QUICK!!!!" General Barracuda says: "I'm on it!" And General Barracuda gets on an air-water boat, and jets off!


Sniz says: "Marlene, have the paramedics on stand-by!" Marlene says: "Already done!" Sniz says: "And I better get the LEGAL paperwork ready just in case! This might not be pretty!" / The camera shifts to the two Spanish Galleons, trying to get to the island, but having to contend with the now giant Brittany! Brittany shouts: "NOW, WHO ELSE WANTS SOME?!!!" Bubble Bass desperately says: "Brittany!!!! You DON'T want to DO this! THINK about it! Tigress was mean to you, you're being mean to HER! Does that REALLY make you feel any better?! Take it from someone who has HAD experience! Revenge is NOT going to make you feel better, and it's only going to make you WORSE, and you will suffer CONSEQUENCES from it! Trust me! I once got petty revenge on Spongebob on two different occasions, simply because I was mad that I currently didn't have a father figure in my life, and each time, I suffered BAD consequences BECAUSE of that! Don't MAKE the same mistakes I made! I know it's hard, but you HAVE to be the better woman! What would THEODORE want you to do?!" Brittany suddenly gasps, and in a low voice, she says: "HE...WOULD WANT ME...TO DO...THE RIGHT...THING...OHHH!!!!" And Brittany's body suddenly glows, and she suddenly shrinks BACK down to her normal size, and FALLS back into the Lake! Bubble Bass says: "Hold ON, Brittany!!!!" And Bubble Bass dives in after her, but he miscalculates his jump, and as he jumps over the ship, his clothes are RIPPED off by a piece of lumber protruding from the ship! Bubble Bass doesn't notice though, because he's too focused on saving Brittany! Bubble Bass does so, and pulls her back up to the surface, and back onto the Pirate Ship! Johnny Krill pats Brittany on the back, to get any water she might have swallowed out of her body, and Brittany, in her normal voice, says: "I'm...I'm ALIVE!!!!" And she looks at Bubble Bass, and she says: "And you're...you're NAKED!!!!"


Bubble Bass says: "AGAIN?!!! I'm starting to WONDER why I even BOTHER wearing clothes to these challenges at all!" Johnny says: "Because it's FUNNY!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "No it's NOT! It's just STUPID!!!! It's almost as DUMB as the time Spongebob Squarepants sold everything INCLUDING all his clothes, just so he could buy the Le Spatula 3,000!" Johnny says: "Well, your clothes are RIGHT there! No need to get ANGRY about it!" And Bubble Bass, in a huff, puts his clothes back on! Anti-Cosmo appears, and he nervously says: "What do you know? I guess the growth affect that affected Brittany, wasn't PERMANENT after all!" Bubble Bass sarcastically says: "NO!!!! Really, do you THINK?! Why don't you go and bother someone else, like the band-members from 1980's boy band Menudo?" Anti-Cosmo says: "You mean Ricky Martin? Nope! Been there, done that!" But he poofs away, anyways! Brittany says: "Thanks for rescuing me, Bubble Bass. I'm sorry I was so much trouble." Bubble Bass says: "It's okay. Far more important, is whether or not Po and Tigress are okay." Johnny says: "And the Power Pandas have already begun to dock!" And the Spanish Galleon the Power Pandas are on, pulls into port! Bubble Bass says: "Come on, Angelica! Help us get our ship docked! We've got to help the others!" Angelica sighs, and says: "Well, all right. As long as I don't have to look for the Pendant Of Life." (Confessional) Brittany says: "On a scale from 1 to 10, temporarily growing into a giant WAS pretty amazing! Of course, I wouldn't recommend it on a daily, or even a once a DECADE basis!" / Bubble Bass says: "I HAD to rescue Brittany, okay?! If not for HER sake, than for Theodore's! He certainly wouldn't forgive anybody if something were to happen to Brittany! Besides, rescuing her probably gave me some good karma. And in a show like this, I'll take any good karma I can get!" / Johnny says: "I sure am glad SOMEBODY put Tigress in her place! Maybe NOW, she'll be a little bit NICER for the wear!" (End Confessional)


The camera shifts to where Po and Tigress have landed! Po and Tigress come out of the Fountain of Youth, but notice that they are now SIGNIFICANTLY smaller, to when they were before! In a little girl's voice, Tigress asks: "What HAPPENED to us?! GASP!!!! And WHY do I sound like I'm only nine years OLD?!!!" Po, in a younger voice, says: "I think that's because we ARE nine years old...AGAIN!!!! We fell into the Fountain of Youth! We must have accidentally drank some of the water, and it CUT our ages down in half!" Tigress says: "But I don't WANT to be nine AGAIN!!!! Not only don't I have my MUSCLES, but NOBODY ever HUGGED me!!!!" Po gasps, and he says: "WOAH! Nobody, ever HUGGED you?!" Tigress cries, and she says: "No, not even Master Shifu! I just want to be LOVED! Is that SO wrong?! I guess, the reason why I'm so aggressive, is because nobody ever showed me the love I wanted when I was a child!" Po says: "Well, that's going to change, starting right now! Let me give you the hugs you ALWAYS wanted as a child, but NEVER got! You've got someone who will ALWAYS love you, no matter WHAT happens to you!" And Po HUGS Tigress, and to Tigress' amazement, the Pendant of Life falls RIGHT out of her pocket! Tigress picks it up, and she says: "The Pendant of Life! It was in the Fountain of Youth all along! It must have somehow wound up in my pocket during all the confusion!" Po says: "Wow! What a lucky break!" Tigress asks: "Lucky break! Hold on! Why am I the only one who keeps FINDING these Pendants of Life?! Why do these Pendants of Life ALWAYS seem to wind up in MY possession?! And if I play this Pendant of Life tonight, I'll bet the OTHER contestants will try to vote me off, DESPITE knowing that I have a habit of getting these Pendants of Life!" Po asks: "What are you SAYING, Tigress?"


Tigress suspiciously says: "I think SOMEBODY WANTS me to get over-complacent, with these Pendants of Life always WINDING up in my hands! Sure, they're helpful! But the more I use them, the more I could get over-complacent, and wind up doing something STUPID that could DERAIL my whole game! I almost BLEW it with Brittany today! I can't make a mistake like that again! Not now, not EVER! I'll use it tonight, but I need to find out WHAT'S going on! Once, it's PURELY skill! Twice, a happy coincidence! But THREE times in a row?! That's when I start to get suspicious!" Po asks: "What do YOU want me to do about it?!" Tigress says: "Keep your eyes peeled, and if you SEE something suspicious, let me know about it IMMEDIATELY! If someone is TRYING to manipulate my game, I WANT to know about it! I'm NOT going to be the pawn of somebody's game! If I'm going to win, I want to do it on my OWN measures!" Po says: "Will do, Tigress!" And Po's now oversized adult trunks, fall down on the ground! Tigress says: "Although, you may want to find something to wear in the interim, while we wait for this Fountain Of Youth affect to wear off!" Po asks: "How come YOUR clothes still fit?" Tigress says: "I wear spandex! Guaranteed to stretch to fit ANY size, or DOUBLE your money back!" Po asks: "Do you and Brittany go to the same store?" Tigress asks: "How should I know? I don't know where Brittany BUYS her clothes!" Private and Kowalski come running up, and Private says: "Thank goodness we found you...well, MOST of you! Looks like you lost some mass and weight!" Kowalski says: "Drinking from the Fountain of Youth, even accidentally, will do that to you!" Po says: "How long is this going to last?" Kowalski says: "It depens on how old you are, decade wise. Since you're both ORIGINALLY 18, and are now nine, you should be back to your normal ages in about two days. Of course, there's no telling when the next challenge will be." Po asks: "Will you still help me?"


Private says: "Of COURSE we'll help you! We'd never leave a young child behind!" Po says: "Thank you, Private! You guys are the best!" Private says: "Well, we certainly try to be!" (Confessional) Private says: "The 'Motus Operandi', of the Penguins, is that we never leave a man, woman, or child behind, no matter WHAT the odds are!" / Kowalski says: "Private has definitely got the attitude, and the creed of the penguins down pat! It won't be long until he's learned everything I can teach him! He'll soon be capable of performing challenges without any help from me whatsoever. I knew this day would come eventually, I just didn't think it would come so soon! I just hope that when the time comes, if I'm no longer in the competition, Private will be able to give it everything he's got!" (End Confessional) Kowalski picks up the young Po, but Kowalski STILL falls over! Kowalski asks: "UGH!!!! How much do you WEIGH, 400 POUNDS?!!!" Po says: "Hey! I only WEIGH 388 pounds, and most of it is muscle anyways!" Larry comes up, and he says: "Hey! Need any help?!" Kowalski says: "The thought had crossed my mind!" Larry says: "Than I better carry him!" And Larry picks up Po with no problem! Private says: "All right then, let's go!" Tigress shouts: "Hey! What about me?!" Kowalski says: "Sorry! You're on the other team! Nothing personal!" Tigress scowls a bit, but thankfully, Bubble Bass and the other Killer Prawns come up! Bubble Bass says: "Tigress, you're alive! I mean, I certainly wasn't DOUBTING you were alive, because I don't think ANYTHING could kill you...uh...that, came out wrong." Tigress asks: "Where's Brittany?!" Johnny says: "She's back on the ship, and back to normal size! Apparently, turning into a giant was only a TEMPORARY side-effect of eating that giant acorn!" Tigress coyly says: "Well, that's GOOD to know!" Angelica says: "Why is that?!" Tigress says: "Well, not that it's any of YOUR concern, but the rest of us, will be voting off Brittany, TONIGHT!!!!"


Bubble Bass asks: "But why?!" Tigress says: "Simple! We GOT to! She's the only member of the Killer Prawns left, who ISN'T in our alliance!" Johnny sarcastically says: "Oh, NOW you remember that you have an alliance?!" Tigress says: "Hey! I'm ONLY a little girl of NINE at the moment, so I THINK you can CUT me a little SLACK, Mr. Macho!" Bubble Bass says: "Tigress has a POINT!" Tigress says: "So, take me back to the ship! We've got a challenge to finish!" / The camera shifts to General Barracuda, and he sees the Power Panda's Spanish Galleon coming towards him, with the Killer Prawns' Spanish Galleon not too far behind! General Barracuda calls on his cell phone, and he says: "Good news! The two teams are all right! Po and Tigress have temporarily regressed in age, but they're all right! They're coming up fast to the dock right now!" Sniz sighs in relief, and he says: "Thank GOODNESS for that! I was SO worried about what would happen to our show should anything BAD happen to anyone! That's the LAST thing I want!" Marlene announces: "And it's neck to neck between the two teams! It's the Power Pandas, the Killer Prawns, the Power Pandas, the Killer Prawns, and--!!!!" She waves her checkered flag, and she says: "And pulling into port only a MERE three seconds sooner, the Power Pandas have won the LAST team challenge!" Jenny says: "Awesome! At least SOMETHING good happened out of all this craziness today!" Marlene says: "Larry, and Angelica, you've done your duties, here are your pay-checks, you've earned them!" Larry says: "Awesome!" Angelica says: "Thank goodness! I was starting to think I'd NEVER see a dime from this show!" Sniz says: "Killer Prawns, it pains me to say this, but you have LOST the last team challenge! Therefore, tonight, you will be facing another elimination ceremony, AGAIN!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "It's no contest! Only one contestant I WANT to vote off tonight, and her name is BRITTANY!!!!" /


Johnny says: "Even though she's now cut down to size, I'm STILL voting off Tigress!" / Bubble Bass says: "Yeah, Tigress hasn't EXACTLY been the picture of an ideal friend. But, I can't abandon her now, not in the state she's in. I'm voting off Brittany!" / Brittany says: "I know it's a risky and potentially foolish move, but I've got to vote off Tigress! It's either her, or ME, who will leave the game tonight!" (End Confessional) It's night time, and the Killer Prawns are once again at the Elimination Ceremony bonfire! Sniz says: "Killer Prawns, in all honesty, your team-work, or rather, lack thereof, has been really apalling, especially for Tigress!" Tigress asks: "What's THAT supposed to mean?" Sniz asks: "Have you FORGOTTEN the Penalty Vote Rule?!!! You CAN'T hit another contestant, and YOU wailed on Brittany Miller!" Tigress yells: "She was fifty feet TALL at the time! She HARDLY felt it!" Sniz says: "Irrelevant! Hitting someone is STILL hitting someone, regardless of whether or not they felt it! So Tigress, that means you will be taking all FOUR possible penalty votes, including any possible votes that have already been cast! So--." Tigress says: "Hold it! I have read the rules, and the Pendant of Life NULLIFIES ALL votes! Even the Penalty Vote ones!" And Sniz looks at the Pendant of Life that Tigress has produced, and Johnny Krill is simply DUMBSTRUCK!!!! (Confessional) Johnny Krill shockingly says: "WHAT?!!! Does Tigress have some CREEPY Pendant of Life finding Radar INSTALLED in her BODY?!!!" / Tigress says: "I WISH I had some CREEPY Pendant of Life Finding Radar INSTALLED in my body! It would make my game a whole lot easier!" (End Confessional) Sniz asks: "General Barracuda?" General Barracuda says: "Tigress' claim holds up! The Pendant of Life nullifies ALL votes, even Penalty Vote ones!" Sniz says: "Than that means, all votes cast for Tigress will NOT count, not even the Penalty Votes!"


Sniz says: "One penalty vote for Tigress, doesn't count. One penalty vote for Tigress, doesn't count. One penalty vote for Tigress, doesn't count. One penalty vote for Tigress, doesn't count. One vote for Tigress, cast by Brittany, doesn't count. One vote for Tigress, cast by Johnny Krill, doesn't count. One vote for Brittany, cast by Bubble Bass, counts. And one vote for Brittany, cast by Tigress, counts! That means that Brittany Miller, your time on this game show has once again, come to an end. The Slingshot of Shame awaits you, Brittany. Your team has spoken." Tigress says: "Nice to see that I STILL have at least ONE friend who's loyal to me!" Bubble Bass says: "Come on! You're NINE right now! I wasn't going to vote you off like a CREEP! I'm better than that!" Tigress says: "It's nice to know that SOMEBODY is!" (Confessional) Johnny sighs, and he says: "Tigress is SO going to KILL me when she gets back to her normal age!" / Bubbble Bass says: "Johnny has no one to blame but himself for the predicament he's in right now. Never VOTE off a tiger, if you WANT to keep your HEAD attached to your BODY!" (End Confessional) Brittany Miller is all packed up, AGAIN, and about to get on the Slingshot of Shame! Brittany says: "Wait! Can I at least sing one more song, before I go?!" Tigress says: "After THREATENING me, do you expect me to--?!" Sniz says: "Sounds like a GREAT idea! Hit it, Brittany!" / And flowing, orchestral music plays, as Brittany suddenly sings: "You're here, there's nothing I fear, and I know that my heart will go on! We'll stay forever this way! You are safe in my heart, and my heart will go on and on!!!!" Brittany air fist-pumps, and she says: "Nailed it! Fire away, Sniz!" And Sniz launches Brittany Miller out of the game, for the final time, and Brittany shouts: "Good-bye!!!!"
Sniz says: "And just like that, Brittany Miller is once and for all, out of the game! And when we come back, the teams will be merged, and the competition is bound to get hotter! Will Tigress and Po be able to stay in the game despite their temporary age reduction? How long will they be stuck as kids? And can anyone STOP Tigress from finding the Pendant of Life?!" Tigress says: "I highly doubt it!" Sniz says: "Those answers, and possibly more, may come up, on the next episode of 'Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back'! I LOVE my job!" /

Episode Notes: Eliminated Contestants: #14: Bessie Higgenbottom ("The Mighty B!") #13. Rico ("The Penguins of Madagascar"). #12. Katarra ("Avatar: The Last Airbender"). #11. Theodore Seville ("Alvinnnn!!!! And The Chipmunks"). #10. Danny Fenton ("Danny Phantom"). #9. Fee ("Harvey Beaks"). #8. Brittany Miller ("Alvinnnn!!!! And The Chipmunks"). Remaining Contestants: Bubble Bass (Killer Prawn), Jenny Wakeman (Power Panda), Johnny Krill (Killer Prawn), Kowalski (Power Panda), Po (Power Panda), Private (Power Panda), Tigress (Killer Prawn). Brittany Miller is eliminated for the second and final time this season, removing all the representatives from "Alvinnnn!!!! And The Chipmunks" out of the game. Tigress finds and utilizes the Pendant of Life for the second episode in a row, and the third time overall, and is starting to get suspicious about why SHE'S the only one who's been able to find them so far. Po and Tigress are temporarily regressed to be nine years old, due to falling in the Fountain of Youth, and accidentally drinking the water in there. Larry and Angelica make cameo appearances in this episode. Featured songs in this episode include "All Together Now, In My House", and a bit of "My Heart Will Go On", sung by Brittany Miller, as a Brick Joke! The episode is a plot reference to "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End", while the episode title is a reference to "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides".
Personal Notes: Going into the Team Merge, I needed a way to make sure, that Po and Tigress didn't suddenly become the break-out juggernauts that they are on their home series, and I needed a way to install a "Drama Preserving Handicap" of sorts for the both of them. That's why I came up with the Fountain of Youth. With Po and Tigress temporarily half of their original age, it's going to be a lot more difficult for them to win the next challenge and stay in the game, giving the other contestants more of a chance to catch up to them! As for why Tigress keeps finding the Pendant of Life? You'll find that out when the time comes. Also, Brittany Miller of course, filled the role of Dakota this season. But unlike her "Revenge of the Island" counterpart, I didn't want Brittany to become a giant permanently, which is why I graciously let Brittany Miller's gigantic fate turn out to be only temporary, and let her be eliminated as the show stopping diva she truly is! Next episode is the lone Performance Review of this season, so we'll find out how the show is shaping up so far, and what the forecast for the rest of this season will be! Enough said, true believers!

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We've reached the half-way point of season 4A, YEAH!!!! It's time to mark this amazing occasion with the sole "Performance Review" episode of season 4A. I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it, enjoy! / Instead of the normal show opening, poppy music plays, and C.G.I. word titles of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back: Performance Review", float down into view, and a montage of clips from the previous episodes of the season, begin to be shown on-screen. / Bessie Higgenbottom jumps off the boat first, and she says: “Wow! This is so cool, riding on a boat! Did you know my great-great-great grandfather actually built a boat?! Old Ironsides, they called her! It fought in the Civil War, against the--!” / Brittany says: “Free food?! Theodore, you just ATE!” Blonda says: “According to MY sources, he always just ate!” / Tigress can be heard groaning loudly, and she says: “UGH!!!! That was SO pathetic! Out of the way, let a TRUE champion show you how it's done!” Tigress kicks down the door of the boat room she was staying in, does several forward jump flips on the boat, leaps OFF the boat, and rolls forward on the ground, before springing forward, to land perfectly on her two feet! Tigress says: “I am Master Tigress! The one, the only, the world-renowned, the exceptionally trained, and incredibly epic Kung Fu Master, who has ever trained on ALL seven continents! If you're already unnerved by me now, you're free to save yourself the trouble, and go home right now! I don't tolerate losers, getting in my path of winning! THAT'S how you make a proper introduction!” / Kowalski says: “Uh, I hate to be predictable, and complain about logic on the first day, but, cactus isn't NATIVE to environment of Lake Michigan, and the nearest desert is over a 1,000 miles away.” Blonda says: “I have a magic wand, your argument is invalid.” / Johnny Krill asks: “Just step forward?! I'm Johnny Krill, man! I NEVER just step forward!” Tigress rolls her eyes, and says: “Just what I needed; Twister 2.0!” / Fee says: “You could always swim in the NUDE, like my brother Foo does!” Bubble Bass gives Fee a shocked look, and he says: “First off, T.M.I., too much information! And second and most importantly, YOU disgust me!” / Bubble Bass says: “At first, I thought there was no WAY I could take a public shower with some other guys, but then Blonda and her team of producers LEGALLY FORCED me to do it!” / Johnny Krill says: “You know, now that I THINK about it, I think Bubble Bass has nice...FINS!!!!” (DOING!!!!) / Tigress says: “It's OBVIOUS that I'm the FULL package; beauty, brains, brawn, and skills, all in ONE body!” / Fee sarcastically says: “Woo, woo, woo. Extra woo, woo, woo. Can we get ON with the show already?!” / Sniz says: “Note to self: NEVER ask Katarra HOW she is able to do the things she can do EVER again! You will ALWAYS get a SNOTTY response from her!” /

Bubble Bass scoffs, and says: “Oh, PLEASE!!!! If Spongebob REALLY annoyed you as much as you CLAIM that he does, you'd simply RESIGN from the Krusty Krab, and move away from Bikini Bottom for GOOD! But there's no WAY you'll do that, because you're just COUNTING the days until Mr. Krabs is lying SICK on his DEATH BED, and he beckons for you and whispers in a soft, creaking, croaking voice, as he confesses to you that Spongebob Squarepants, is FAR too incompetent and stupid to run the Krusty Krab! And that you, the LONG suffering Squidward Tentacles, is the ONLY employee capable of running the Krusty Krab, and you will weep tears of sadness, sorrow, and despair, as it finally DAWNS on you that the HORRIBLE, SWEATY place YOU call the Krusty Krab, is the ONLY place where you will EVER truly know, feel, AND experience LOVE!” Squidward's eyes open up wide, and in a dissonant calmness, he says: “Excuse me.” And he walks off-screen, goes to the cafeteria, and in a loud voice, cries: “AHHH!!!!!” Bubble Bass suddenly jerks and in futility, covers his mouth, and says: “Dear Neptune! Was I just TALKING out loud, THERE?!!!” / Sniz says: “Well, folks. It seems as though we're experiencing some technical difficul--.” (BOOM!!!!) / Tigress says: “Be a sumo wrestler!” Bubble Bass says: “What makes you think that I know HOW to be a Sumo wrestler?!” Tigress says: “Simple. You're fat, you're chubby, you're overweight, you're obese, and you'd look GREAT in a diaper!” Bubble Bass says: “Besides the LAST thing, all the other qualities are the exact SAME thing!” / Bubble Bass says: “Fine, I'll do it. But I'm NOT wearing a diaper!” / Bubble Bass says: You know, I'm actually SURPRISED by how long I lasted against Po! I'm kind of proud of myself. Maybe there IS more to me than just fat. Uh, that, didn't come out right.” / Tigress screams: “BRITTANY, you JERK!!!! You COST US the GAME!!!!” Johnny says: “Oh, so NOW it's 'US', and not, 'You'!” Tigress says: “Stay out of this! Brittany, YOU are DEAD; metaphorically speaking!” Brittany Miller fumes, and says: “Oh, you are SO lucky that I can't get a hold of my entourage right now!” / Bubble Bass asks: “Are you TRYING to SEDUCE me?! Is THAT what you're TRYING to do?!” Blonda seductively asks: “Would you LIKE me to seduce YOU?! Is THAT what you're trying to do?” / Marlene says: “You LIKE me! You REALLY like me!” / Marlene says: “Guys, it is clear to me that it is time for ME to come up with a strategy for US to win, since Tigress' plan of, 'Just attack the other side like CRAZY'; isn't WORKING for us!” Tigress scoffs, and says: “I do NOT sound like THAT!!!!” Fee says: “You probably COULD if you TRIED hard enough!” / Private is now in a body cast, covered with porcupine needles, and he says: “On the bright side, the porcupines were STILL very apologetic!” / Theodore says: “WATCH OUT FOR THAT...!!!!” (BANG!!!!) Theodore weakly says: “Tree.” / Fee scoffs, and says: “I SWEAR, you are the MOST generic, most cliché riddled villain EVER!” Anti-Cosmo says: “Aren't those the EASIEST to hate, though?” /

Private sighs, and he says: “I was AFRAID of this! Sooner or later, women ALWAYS figure out the truth! ALWAYS!” / Jenny says: “No WAY! You're THE Danny Phantom?!” / Tigress says: “Well, if I'm something that CAN be stopped, than just TRY to STOP me!” / Tigress says: “Don't TRY it, Katarra! I have the high ground!” Katarra says: “Your over-confidence is YOUR weakness! NEVER underestimate the abilities of a Water-Bender when ELIMINATION is on the line!” / Tigress chuckles: “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I TOLD you I'd WIN!!!!” / Katarra is heavily bandaged and, she says: “Hoist by my own petard. I did NOT see THAT coming!” / Bubble Bass says: "The stuff I've filled MY brain with isn't 'Pointless'. Why, just knowing a HANDFUL of the stuff I know, could net you on AVERAGE, about $44,440 a night on 'Jeopardy', depending on the categories and how much you successfully wager on the Daily Doubles and Final Jeopardy of course!" / Juandissimo Magnifico says: "And in related news, Justin Beiber has JUST been STRUCK by LIGHTNING!!!!" General Barracuda yells: "Oh, YEAH?!!! Well, who asked YOU?!!!!" / Tigress says: "Are you saying that I'm the ONLY capable contestant on OUR team?!" Johnny says: "At least she said, 'OUR' team, this time!" / Johnny says: "And what about the Final Three? What THEN?!" Tigress says: "The challenge will be a CAKE walk for me, because I'll be competing against LARD BUTT Bubble Bass, and noodle arms Private! I'll run CIRCLES around them, and compete the challenge in fifteen minutes, which is par for the COURSE for me!" / Tigress says: "Hello! If all the Power Pandas are out looking for a challenge, there MUST be a challenge that will be taking place! It's just LOGIC!" Fee says: "Oh, it's logic all right; it's Insane Troll Logic, and I can't BELIEVE that I personally KNOW what that is!" / Tigress groans, and she says: "What a bunch of WHINERS!!!! They're all acting like this is Kindergarden or something, and that I'm not giving them the time to take their regularly scheduled naps! I NEVER took a nap when I was training with Master Shifu, and I turned out just fine!" / Bubble Bass says: "Now that you mention it, you're right! Something DOES smell in here, and it smells a whole lot WORSE than that time I was in that swamp with Patrick!" /

Bonnie says: "General Barracuda, if we don't make it out of here, there's something I have to tell you about Bubble Bass!" General Barracuda says: "Bonnie, I know you're upset, that he's fat, Brilliant, but lazy, and a bit of a snob, but over the last few challenges, he's proven to me that he can be a real stand-up guy, he just needs the right incentive!" Bonnie says: "Bubble Bass isn't his real name, it's a nickname he gave himself." General Barracuda says: "I didn't know that!" Bonnie says: "His real name IS Horatio!" General Barracuda SOMEHOW doesn't get it, and he says: "That's nice." Bonnie seriously says: "HORATIO BARRACUDA the Second. YOU'RE his father!" General Barracuda shouts: "HOW IN THE H-E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS DID YOU LET HIM GET THAT FAT?!!!" / Fee shouts: "WHOO-HOO! I am SO GLAD I got ME one of THESE!!!!" / Bubble Bass says: "I'm STILL having trouble understanding this whole thing! How could YOU actually BE my father?! You're NOT my father!" General Barracuda seriously says: "You bet your BIG BUTT that I am, and I've got NEWS for you, kid, you're going to STRAIGHTEN up your act, help your mom out more around the house, and be more active in life!" Bubble Bass asks: "What happened to, 'There ain't a darn thing wrong with you, and don't let anybody tell you any different'?!" General Barracuda says: "That was BEFORE I was your father!" / Johnny asks: "Didn't you even SEE that 1980's movie?!" Tigress yells: "WHAT 1980's movie?!" Johnny says: "You know what? Escape now, argue later!" / General Barracuda says: "Speaking of Bubble Bass, turns out, he's MY son!!!!" Sniz shockingly asks: "YOUR son?!" General Barracuda says: "Don't worry, I'll treat him the same as any other contestant. In the meantime, there's something that I need to do!" Bonnie asks: "What's that?" General Barracuda seriously says: "Something that I should have done a LONG time ago, once I lost Ambrosia, and once you lost Bobby Bass. Bonnie Carp Bass, will you give this foolish man the chance he didn't take, and give it to me now? Will, you marry me?" Bonnie says: "Well, let me THINK about it...YES!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "I've got a FATHER!!!! I've got a father!" / Tigress yells: "WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY ATTITUDE?!!!" Brittany says: "Well, NOTHING! If you're 'Xena: The Warrior Princess', who I can mention by name, since I'm not planning on making any money off of that!" /

Johnny says: "Once again, we come to the same root of your BIGGEST problem, that you simply FAIL to comprehend! You think that this is all about, 'You, You, You'. Well, the last team challenge is going to take PLACE soon, Tigress! So, the Fairy Tale is over." Johnny than shouts to Tigress: "WELCOME TO REAL LIFE!!!! You WANT to WIN the game so BADLY?! EARN it, and show some FREAKING empathy ONCE, in a while!" Tigress angrily says: "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!" Johnny rhetorically says: "NO, YOU, Take that back!" Tigress says: "How DARE YOU, you insolent PEASANT?! Nobody talks to ME that way! Nobody!" Than Tigress shouts with an echoing effect: "NOBODY! Nobody! Nobody..." Johnny mockingly says: "Well, what have we got here, Brittany? Those flashy eyes, those fleshed cheeks, those trembling lips. You know SOMETHING, Tigress? You are UGLY, when you're angry!" / Private says: "A pirate based challenge? How cliche!" Kowalski sighs, and says: "Well, statistically, this show was bound to HAVE to do one EVENTUALLY!" / Jenny says: "It's nice to meet you in person, Angelica." Angelica says: "I'm sorry, I HAVE this policy of NOT speaking to LOSERS!" Jenny says: "I'm NOT a loser...unless, everyone ELSE thinks I am!" Kowalski says: "Don't worry! We have NO intention of thinking that!" / Bubble Bass says: "Don't go NEAR them! Don't you know what Sirens DO to guys that fall into their traps?! They COOK you, than EAT you! Or WORSE!" Johnny asks: "What could be WORSE than THAT?!" Bubble Bass says: "GIFT Shops!" / Angelica screams: "AHHH!!!! I'm going to die, I'm going to DIE!!!! I'm gonna be BLOWN up, and than I'm going to die!!!!" / Angelica tearfully writes what APPEARS to be a Last Will and Testament! Angelica says: "To my mother, and my father, I leave my entire collection of trophies, medals, awards, and other academic achievements, that I have earned throughout the years. To my two younger cousins, Tommy and Dil, I leave..." Than Angelica changes her tone, and angrily says: "NOTHING!!!! Earn it YOURSELVES, you SLACKERS!" / Tigress, with faux empathy, says: "Oh, you want to lighten the LOAD!!!!" Tigress quickly GRABS Brittany, and Tigress says: "EXCELLENT IDEA!!!!" / Johnny says: "Tigress, if you ONLY listen to me for ONCE in your LIFE, do it NOW, and WALK away FOREVER!!!!" / Jenny says: "Rule 42, all persons more than a mile high, must LEAVE the game IMMEDIATELY!" /

Tigress nervously says: "You don't want to eat ME!!!! I'd be so TOUGH, and...gamey!" / Brittany, in her normal voice, says: "I'm...I'm ALIVE!!!!" And she looks at Bubble Bass, and she says: "And you're...you're NAKED!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "AGAIN?!!! I'm starting to WONDER why I even BOTHER wearing clothes to these challenges at all!" Johnny says: "Because it's FUNNY!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "No it's NOT! It's just STUPID!!!! It's almost as DUMB as the time Spongebob Squarepants sold everything INCLUDING all his clothes, just so he could buy the Le Spatula 3,000!" / Johnny sarcastically says: "Oh, NOW you remember that you have an alliance?!" / Johnny Krill shockingly says: "WHAT?!!! Does Tigress have some CREEPY Pendant of Life finding Radar INSTALLED in her BODY?!!!" / Tigress says: "I WISH I had some CREEPY Pendant of Life Finding Radar INSTALLED in my body! It would make my game a whole lot easier!" / The Clip Montage ends, and the C.G.I. words make a fancy exit off-screen as the poppy music ends. / "Performance Review: Confessions Of A Teenage Chipmunk Queen" / The episode opens up proper, focusing on a big green couch, in front of a studio, filled with Fairy Godparents who are STILL on strike, and Norbert and Daggett walk out to the big green couch! Norbert says: "Welcome to another Performance Review! Coming back for more fun, I'm Norbert Foster Beaver!" Daggett says: "And I'm Daggett! And sorry, but I am happily married, and spoken for!" Norbert says: "I am to, you know." Daggett says: "Any word yet on when they're going to start work on Angry Beavers: Re-spooted?" Norbert says: "Daggett, when I know something, you'll know something, okay?" Daggett sighs, and says: "All right, then." Norbert says: "Anyways, it's time to do our regularly scheduled Performance Review! Naturally, Blonda couldn't be here due to being...indisposed, and Treeflower is at home taking care of my kids! But don't worry, we're going to have tons of fun interviewing the previously eliminated contestants from this season!" Daggett says: "And we might have some OTHER surprises to, BUT, you have to keep WATCHING in order to find out what those are! See how that works?!" Norbert says: "Right! Here are the eliminated contestants, as follows!" Daggett says: "Bessie Higgenbottom, from The Mighty B!" Norbert says: "Rico, from The Penguins of Madagascar!" Daggett says: "Katarra, from Avatar: The Last Airbender!" Norbert says: "Danny Fenton, from Danny Phantom, in CASE that wasn't ALREADY obvious!" Daggett says: "Fee, from Harvey Beaks!" Norbert says: "And last but not least, Theodore Seville AND Brittany Miller from Alvinnnn!!!! And The Chipmunks, in today's episode, that we're calling, 'Confessions Of A Teenage Chipmunk Queen', in honor of Brittany Miller, herself!" Daggett says: "So sit tight and hang on, while we get this show on the road, with our very first former contestant for today!"

Norbert says: "Right! She was a talker...and a talker...and a talker...and a talker...did she do anything else BUT talk?!" Daggett says: "Not that I can think of, and I was actually PAYING attention this time!" Norbert says: "Right! The sole representative from The Mighty B!, give it up for Bessie Higgenbottom!" And Bessie Higgenbottom walks onstage, wearing a wig that makes her LOOK like Amy Poehler, and Daggett says: "Hold it! Before you sit down on the couch, would you PLEASE stand on the mark that LOOKS like an 'X'?" Bessie asks: "Whatever for?" Daggett thinks about it, shrugs his shoulders, and says: "No reason." Bessie says: "Okay!" Norbert says: "So Bessie, why don't you tell us ALL about why YOU think you lost your chance to win $1.4 million this season!" Bessie says: "Okay! First off, I think it's because, my great, great--." (CRACK!!!!) And Bessie NEVER gets to finish her thought, because an overhead stage light CRACKS from the ceiling, and falls RIGHT on top of her, SMASHING her through the floor! Daggett's mood sours, and with BAD, BAD Acting says: "OH, looks like that stage light wasn't totally fixed like Anti-Cosmo SAID it would be! And just when Bessie's story was REALLY starting to get interesting, to! So instead, let's bring out our FIRST surprise for today! Surprise guests, Lil Deville and Stimpy!" Norbert seriously says: "You just COULDN'T wait until the interview was finished, COULD you?!" Daggett says: "Hey! If we LET Bessie Higgenbottom talk, the episode will be OVER!!!! We've got a schedule to keep!" Norbert groans, but unwilling to carry it any further, says: "FINE!!!! Lil Deville and Stimpy, come on out!" Lil Deville comes out excitedly, while Stimpy follows, but his mood is still somewhat sour! Daggett says: "It's good to have you back, Lil and Stimpy! I just wish Stimpy's face actually LOOKED happy, like it's supposed to!" Lil says: "You can't really blame him, his divorce with Ren Hoek has just been finalized, and we've finished moving everything of our's back to Los Angeles. Stimpy is glad to be back in Hollywood and everything, but, it's still hard for Stimpy to be without Ren, in spite of all the mood swings Ren has had all the years." Norbert says: "I can vouch for that! Now, Stimpy, you DON'T have to answer this question if you don't want to; but if you do, will you tell us how you are feeling right now about everything?" Stimpy sighs, and says: "Personally, I don't really feel like talking about it. I did what I had to do to keep my kids, my wife, and myself safe. Ren only has himself to blame, for NOT getting the help he SAID he was going to get for all the trouble he faced with HIS parents, being raised in an environment with Toxic Masculinity! While I can personally empathize and sympathize with the troubles Ren has gone through, I simply cannot overlook his mood swings ANY longer, especially NOT when they involve my kids! Eventually, I had to reach the point where I realized that, 'Freudian Excuse is NO Excuse'!"

Daggett says: "That's certainly telling it like it is!" Stimpy says: "I guess, what I thought was romance with Ren, was only some form of a long term 'Stockholm Syndrome;, not that he put me in that position, but because I wanted SO hard to bring out the goodness that I KNEW was inside of him! I guess the only reason I didn't leave him sooner, was because I thought that if I left him, that would mean all the time I spent with him, would've been all for NOTHING! I guess it's only when Ren showed his TRUE colors, by trying to hurt my kids, was that he was NEVER interested in wanting me to help him, he only wanted to keep me around, for his OWN personal amusement! Ren might have thought he was wasting MY time! But you know what I think? In reality, the only time HE wasted, was HIS! Because now, he's finally paying the price! He's in jail, he's NEVER allowed to come to California AGAIN on penalty of getting jailed AGAIN, IF he ever gets out, and he has effectively become an 'Unperson' to me, Lil, and my kids!" Norbert says: "Don't your kids...STILL...kind of love Ren?" Stimpy says: "As Tina Turner once sang, 'What's Love Got To Do With It'? And unlike her song, there are some things in life more important than misplaced love! The safety of my kids must come first!" Daggett asks: "Don't you care about what your kids think?" Stimpy says: "Of course I do! It's just...I don't know how to explain it in my own words, so I guess I'll have to sing it! Specifically, I'm going to sing ABBA's, 'The Winner Takes It All'. Take it away, Lil!" / A musical sequence begins. Lil is wearing a fancy blue dress, playing a Piano, and Stimpy is in a tuxedo, singing into a microphone. /

Stimpy sings: "I don't want to talk, about the things we've gone through. Though it's hurting me, now it's history. I've played all my cards, and that's what you've done, too. Nothing more to say, no more ace to play. The winner takes it all, the loser's standing small. Besides the victory, that's my destiny. I was in his arms, thinking I belonged there. I figured it made sense, building me a fence. Building me a home, thinking I'd be stong there. But I was just a fool, playing by his rules. The gods may throw a dice, his mind's as cold as ice! And someone way down there, loses someone dear." Lil joins in, and sings the back-up vocals to Stimpy's singing: "The winner takes it all (takes it all), the loser has to fall (has to fall). It's simple and it's plain (it seems plain), why should I complain? (Why complain?) (Instrumental Solo) Somewhere deep inside, you must know I miss you. But what else can I say? Rules must be obeyed. The judges will decide (they decide), the likes of me abide (we abide). Spectators of the show (of the show), always staying low (staying low). The game is on again (on again), a lover or a friend (or a friend). A big thing or a small (or a small), the winner takes it all (takes it all). I don't wanna talk if it makes you feel sad. And I understand, if you've come to shake my hand. I apologise if it makes you feel bad. Seeing me so tense, no self-confidence. But you see, the winner takes it all! (So the winner, takes it all. And the loser, has to fall. Throw a dice, cold as ice. Way down here, someone dear. Takes it all, has to fall. It seems plain, why complain?") And the piano plays until the song ends. / Norbert and Daggett clap loudly, astounded by their talents! Norbert says: "Thank you, Stimpy and Lil, your skills were magnificent." Lil says: "Thank you, I've been practicing." Stimpy says: "And you know what, I feel better now. In my opinion, the only REAL loser of this whole ordeal, is Ren! Because he has lost THIS guy FOREVER!" Daggett says: "You said it, why don't you take a seat in the bleachers, now?" Lil says: "Thank you, we will." And they both take a seat in the currently empty former contestant's row. Norbert says: "We've got to take a break right down. But don't worry! When we come back, we'll interview Rico, Katarra, Theodore, Danny, Fee, and Brittany! So stay tuned, for the rest of the show!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

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