Total Cartoon Paradise City!

[4EverGreen]

On 8/21/2017 at 9:11 AM, Hayden said:

It's too bad you've made it clear that Retro will win this fight with Bulma, because the other 5 contestants beating her together would mean more to the narrative. They all look like dopes that can't fight their own battles and need to be carried around on a leash, even though Retro is the dog here.

You know what? I've thought about it, and I think that this is the most HELPFUL insight you have ever MADE to me so far!  Why should Captain Retro get to have all the FUN?! Therefore, I am modifying the ending of this episode so that ALL of the characters, and not just Captain Retro, get a chance to take Bulma Briefs down!  I'll be sure to get it up here as soon as possible!

[4EverGreen]

It's time for the final part of “Tonight You're Going to Go Down in Flames, Just Like Jesse James!” / (This episode is dedicated to the memory of Tom Petty). / The plane lands in an open ranch area, within the desert that is Arizona near Tombstone. Sniz announces: “We have now arrived at our destination. You have fifteen minutes to change into the western costumes that we have provided for you, then you better come on out with your guns blazing, I reckon!” General Barracuda walks back to where Bulma is sitting, and General Barracuda chuckles, and says: “It must absolutely SUCK to be YOU right now!” Bulma asks: “Why would you think that?!” General Barracuda says: “Everyone is against YOU winning; Captain Retro plans to duel you PERSONALLY, and you have no comparable athletic skills to speak of! If I were in your situation, I certainly wouldn't want to deal with Captain Retro right now!” Bulma chuckles and she says: “Actually, I predict that Captain Retro won't lay a FINGER on me! I've devised SEVERAL strategies for getting MEDDLING dogs out of my hair, for just such an occasion like THIS one! You tell Captain Retro to meet me in the Cargo Room, where we can settle this dispute in a 'professional' matter, ONCE and for ALL!” (Confessional) Bulma says: “I don't care HOW smart and/or genre savvy Captain Retro IS! He can't POSSIBLY predict all the things that I'm ready to THROW at him! Since he's my biggest threat, I need to get rid of him FIRST! We'll see just how good Captain Retro is at WINNING challenges, when he can't even PARTICIPATE in it!” / General Barracuda says: “I personally know, that when someone wants to settle a dispute 'professionally,' it ALWAYS means DIRTY, and I DO mean always!” (End Confessional)

 

General Barrcuda goes up to Captain Retro, and the General says: “Captain Retro, I'm not sure why, but Bulma Briefs says that she wants to settle something with you in the Cargo Room. Personally, I wouldn't give her the time of day. It smells like a dirty TRAP!!!!” Captain Retro gets a vision, and he says: “Not one trap, SEVERAL!!!! But I've GOT to go back there!” General Barracuda asks: “Why?” Captain Retro worriedly says: “Because, I have a feeling Bulma isn't ALONE back there!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “Personally, it's not really Bulma Briefs that I'm worried after; it's this sneaking suspicion that there is something TRULY wicked and UGLY lurking in the Cargo area, and Bulma Briefs KNOWS what it is! It needs to be found, and STOPPED once and for all!” (End Confessional) Captain Retro knocks on the door of the Cargo Room, and he notices that the window OF that door has been broken, as if somebody jumped THROUGH it! Captain Retro asks: “You want to settle this dispute now?” Bulma sweetly says: “Come right in. I've got nothing to hide!” Captain Retro, under his breath, says: “In a pig's eye! Captain Retro walks into the darkened Cargo Room, but he immediately LUNGES to the ground, and avoids SIX projectile spears being SHOT at him, than he leaps forward to AVOID a net trap that springs up to try to catch him, than he shouts: “Kamehameha!!!!” And BLASTS a giant boulder that comes ROLLING toward him! Than Captain Retro looks down at the ground, and sees a trail of DOG kibble, leading to a box with a stick being held with a string. Captain Retro says: “I expected MORE from you, Bulma, but this is just SAD!!!! How stupid do you think I am?!” Bulma, from somewhere in the room, says: “You don't really want me to ANSWER that one, do you, PEON?!” Than Captain Retro DUCKS to avoid a cannonball, jumps BACKWARDS to avoid a FLAMETHROWER that spurts fire; than a paintball gun FIRES six paintball pellets at Captain Retro, but Captain Retro is SO fast, he CATCHES every single pellet in his hand, and they DON'T even explode! Bulma finally LOSES it, and SCREAMS: “Why aren't my plans WORKING?!!!” Captain Retro says: “Give it UP already! Isn't it obvious that no matter WHAT you come up with, that you can't defeat the forces of good?!” Bulma defiantly says: “How DARE YOU?!!! With my brains and money, I've done more GOOD for people in the past twenty years, than you've EVER done for ANYONE in YOUR entire LIFE!!!!” Captain Retro asks: “And you think THAT entitles you to be a selfish, conniving, disrespectful, self-centered, unapologetic female dog?! You didn't even EARN the RIGHT to own a Clean Slate!”

 

Bulma says: “Oh, I've EARNED it! I've spent my LIFETIME earning it! I don't care what it TAKES, but I'm going to GET that mask off of your FACE, and there is NOTHING in the WORLD that ANYONE can do to STOP me!” Than a CREEPY familiar voice screams: “PRECIOUS!!!!” And Anti-Timmy comes LUNGING in, and GRABS Bulma in his creepy geen hands! Bulma screams: “NO!!!! I took CARE of you! I bathed you, I fed you, I gave you muscles and determination you NEVER would have had WITHOUT me; and how do you REPAY me?! By touching me with FILTHY hands?!” Captain Retro says: “So Anti-Timmy WAS still alive back here! How do you EXPLAIN yourself, BULMA?!!!” Bulma sarcastically says: “Yeah, right! Like I would REALLY admit to Sniz that it was all because of ME that Anti-Timmy even exists?! Get REAL!!!!” Anti-Timmy says: “You did this to me! You STOLE it from US!!!! We had looks, popularity, good plots, and great animation, before YOU came along and ruined it for US!!!! You left US with NOTHING! You RUINED OUR LIFE, so now, WE will destroy YOURS!!!!” Bulma desperately yells: “Captain Retro, SAVE me!!!!” Captain Retro seriously says: “But what can a 'peon' like ME do?! I thought YOU were the GENIUS who knew EVERYTHING, and could handle ANY sort of situation!” Bulma yells: “I was just trying to IMPRESS people, in order to cover up my own inadequacies of HORRIBLE feelings for all the STUFF I've pulled on all of you THIS season!” Captain Retro asks: “And it NEVER crossed your mind that you could have acted NICER to everyone else this entire season?!” Bulma yells: “Fine! I ADMIT it! I was a TERRIBLE, LOUSY contestant to ALL of you! I SAID it! Now SAVE me!” Captain Retro thinks about it, and says: “Just admit on International Television of all the rotten things you've DONE this season, and I will be more than willing to save you!” Bulma screams: “And humiliate myself on International Television yet AGAIN?!!! You're out of your MIND!!!!” Anti-Timmy says: “Don't even THINK about trying to save her! You KNOW she DESERVES this!” Captain Retro seriously says: “Nobody DESERVES anything! Just put her down, and we'll discuss things RATIONALLY! Everything is okay!” Bulma asks: “How is everything OKAY?!”

 

Captain Retro says: “I'm saying that everything is going to BE okay!” Anti-Timmy says: “Don't BET on it, Dog Boy!!!!” And holding Bulma in his claw-like hands, Anti-Timmy JUMPS through a glass window on the airplane, and lands on the ground without a scratch! Anti-Timmy says: “You seem quite FOND of DANGLING other contestants over a CLIFF, so it only seems FAIR to subject YOU to the EXACT, same TREATMENT!!!!” Bulma desperately screams: “NO!!!! Not THAT!!!! Anything but THAT!!!!” Anti-Timmy says: “You reap what you SOW, Bulma!!!!” Bulma screams: “HELP!!!! HELP!!!!” As Anti-Timmy runs across the desert! Captain Retro says: “Not good! Looks like I'm going to need help after ALL!!!!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “This is why you should NEVER just assume that you have a problem taken care of! In Anti-Timmy's case, unless you KILL it and you kill it with FIRE, then he's just going to keep coming back and coming back until he gets what he WANTS! And unlike Bulma, he's got NOTHING left to lose by DOING what he is doing! And that makes him more dangerous! It's going to take ALL of us to bring Anti-Timmy down ONCE and for all!” (End Confessional) Captain Retro runs back into the First Class section, and he says: “We've got a situation, and for once, it's not Bulma Briefs!” Reggie asks: “What do you mean?” Captain Retro says: “You know how we kept thinking Anti-Timmy was gone? Well, he's NOT gone! He's STILL alive! And now he's got Bulma Briefs, and he's going to KILL her!” Suzie defiantly says: “That's HER problem! She CHOSE to create this problem, and NOW she can deal with the consequences of her LOUSY DECISIONS!!!!” Captain Retro says: “Look, I KNOW Bulma made a lot of bad choices this season, but that doesn't mean that WE have to.” Patrick asks: “What can we possibly do to stop him?” Skipper boldly says: “We saddle up; ride like the wind, and confront Anti-Timmy once and for all!” Chameleon says: “That sounds like a plan to me! Than we can all pitch in, and deal with Bulma Briefs together!” Reggie says: “But whatever we do, let's not hurt her! I know we're all angry for what she has done to us, but I STILL don't believe that it's all right to destroy a person, no matter HOW horrible they have been on the inside!” Captain Retro says: “Agreed. It's actually a WORSE punishment to let them live, because THEY have to live with the guilt and horrible feelings that they have for the rest of their lives!” Patrick says: “Wow! I never thought of it like THAT way before!” Suzie says: “That's because you've rarely THOUGHT, this season!” Patrick says: “HEY!!!!” Suzie shrugs, and she says: “Well, I'm just SAYING!!!!” Skipper says: “We can argue about this later! We've got an Anti-Timmy to round up!”

 

(Confessional) Chameleon says: “This season, I've learned a lot about the way good guys think. It's not simply about taking the anger you've had as a bad guy, and transferring it to being a good guy; you have to act more rationally than that! It's a good thing that I have someone like Captain Retro to show me the ropes, it really helps me to learn the right kinds of moves I need to make, in order to be a genuine good guy.” / Reggie says: “If someone needs to be punished for doing something wrong, I prefer to do it the right way. I don't like rushing in and making a hasty decision that I'll regret later! That's why I make all of my moves calculate and rational! It keeps me honest, and I get to keep feeling good about myself!” / Patrick says: “Even in a situation like this, the other contestants STILL feel the need to insult me! Can't I EVER get a BREAK this season?!” / Suzie says: “I was just saying what everyone ELSE was thinking! It's certainly not MY fault that Patrick can't take a little criticism!” / Skipper says: “I've always wanted to ride on the open range, and hunt down a bad guy like a Western Sheriff and his Deputy would! This is my big chance to do so!” / Captain Retro says: “I admit, this is not the scenario I had in mind for dealing with Bulma Briefs, it's actually better! This way, we ALL get a chance of fighting with Bulma Briefs and dealing with her ONCE and for all!” (End Confessional) Sniz walks outside, and through a megaphone, he announces: “All right, contestants! It's time for you to come out and--.” But the contestants quickly rush out, and Captain Retro says: “Sorry, no time to listen to the rules and regulations today!” Sniz asks: “But why?” Skipper seriously says: “Because Anti-Timmy is still alive, and we need to stop him once and for all!” Sniz asks: “SERIOUSLY?! How many LIVES does that creature HAVE anyways?!” (Confessional) Sniz says: “Personally, I've had it up to HERE with the contestants having to deal with Anti-Timmy! It's getting OLD!!!! I hope that they KILL him, and that they KILL him with FIRE!!!!” (End Confessional)

 

Anti-Timmy pants, and he says: “Where's a cliff, where's a CLIFF?! Where's the Grand Canyon when we NEED it?!” Bulma laughs and he says: “You ARE a freaking IDIOT!!!! We're like, 300 MILES away from the Grand Canyon! It would take you like, fifteen DAYS to run there if you ran two miles an hour for ten hours in a day; and that's ASSUMING you don't need to stop for FOOD!” Anti-Timmy says: “FINE! So we won't go to the Grand Canyon; we'll do BETTER than that! I'll drop you off a TALL mesa!” Bulma sarcastically says: “I WISH you could actually FIND one anytime soon!” Blonda suddenly appears, and she says: “Bulma, your WISH is GRANTED!” And she poofs up a TALL mesa just FOUR miles away! Anti-Timmy evilly says: “You were SAYING?!” Bulma sourly says: “I've REALLY got to learn how to stop talking when I'm only SLIGHTLY behind!” / The contestants see their path blocked by a bunch of former contestants posing as buffalo! Among the former contestants are Jimmy Neutron, Patty Mayonnaise, Kitty Katswell, Haggis McHaggis, Twister Rodriguez, Treeflower, Dib Bitters, Judy Funny, Sway-Sway, Stanley Squarepants, Guano, Invader Zim, Keswick, Kaput, Otto Rocket, Heffer Wolfe, Globitha, Robot Default, Buhdeuce, Phoebe Hyerdahl, Monster Krumholtz, Spongebob Squarepants, Larry the Lobster, Tigress, Randolph, Daggett and Norbert, Gonard, Po, Dog, Stimpy, Marlene, Wally, Rocko, and Dudley. Reggie says: “You know, I was just thinking; it might help if we round up a few of our friends. I'm sure THEY have a few things they want to say to Bulma just as much as WE do!” Chameleon says: “That's a good idea if I've ever heard of one!” (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!) Over the communicators, Sniz says: “And while you're rounding up your friends, I want you to sing a hit song by The Beatles. Preferably; one that was written by George Harrison, and comes from the Rubber Soul album.” Captain Retro says: “Than I think we've got JUST the song for you!” / Genre: The Beatles. Sub-genre: Pop Rock. Song: “Think for Yourself.” Sung by: Captain Retro, Skipper, Chameleon, Suzie, Reggie, and Patrick! /

 

As the contestants round up their friends, they think about either all the things that Bulma has done, or that she ORDERED other former contestants to do FOR her! / Captain Retro: “I've got a word or two, to say about the things that you do!” Skipper: “You're telling all those lies, about the good things that we can have if we close our eyes!” Chameleon: “Do what you want to do, and go where you're going to! Think for yourself cause I won't be there with you!” Suzie: “I left you far behind; the ruins of the life that you have in mind!” Reggie: “And though you still can't see, I know your mind's made up; you're gonna cause more misery!” Patrick: “Do what you want to do, and go where you're going to! Think for yourself cause I won't be there with you!” Skipper: “Although your mind's opaque, try thinking more if just for your own sake!” Captain Retro: “The future still looks good, and you've got time to rectify all the things that you should!” Suzie: “Do what you want to do, and go where you're going to!” Reggie: “Think for yourself cause I won't be there with you!” Skipper: “Do what you want to do, and go where you're going to!” Captain Retro: “Think for yourself cause I won't be there with you!” Contestants: “Think for yourself cause I won't be there with you!” / And the epic song ends as all the former contestants are rounded up!

 

Jimmy Neutron says: “Wow! It's certainly been a long time since some of us have seen you! But why did you wound us all up?” Chameleon asks: “Listen, most of you guys want to get BACK at Bulma Briefs for what she put you through, right?!” Kitty Katswell says: “More than ever! Nobody makes ME think that another contestant, such as you, is bad when they really WEREN'T!” Suzie says: “Well, this is a perfect chance to get even! We're going to confront Bulma Briefs and we're going to put an END to this charade, ONCE and for ALL!” Twister says: “That sounds like a plan if I've ever heard of one!” Patty Mayonnaise says: “Then what are we waiting for? Let's get a MOVE on!” (Confessional) Jimmy Neutron says: “I have to give Bulma credit! It takes a lot of brains to get ME eliminated and then make Snaptrap take ALL the credit for coming up with that EVIL plan! But now, we're going to set the record straight, by any means NECESSARY!” / Kitty says: “I'm glad that Sniz gave me a chance to come back for this challenge, because it finally gave me a chance to apologize to Chameleon for falsely suspecting him of being a bad guy. Keswick and Dudley were certainly happy that I did!” / Twister says: “I knew all along that something wasn't RIGHT about ME being eliminated! It was ALL Bulma's doing! The Twister shouldn't have LOST!” / Haggis says: “Bulma's plan of using Kaput to trick me into hitting Treeflower was evil; no question about it! But now I can finally show her why you should NEVER try to lie or deceive a Scotsman under ANY circumstances! She's going to PAY for her crime against me!” / Kaput says: “I used to think of myself as the MASTER saboteur of this season; but what Bulma pulled AGAINST me after 'CLAIMING' to be my ally?! That was just COLD! And I do NOT like being USED like that! She BETTER hope that everyone else is able to hold me back; because I do NOT want to show her ANY mercy!” / Otto Rocket says: “Now, don't get me wrong. I'm glad that my sister has managed to get as far as she has; but if it WEREN'T for Bulma's doing, I probably could STILL be in the contest right now! Since I'll never know for sure now; I guess I'll just have to settle for letting Bulma know just what I THINK of her!” / Larry says: “I certainly don't appreciate what Bulma has done to me OR to my friends throughout this season! There are several things that I would like to CALL her, and NONE of them are appropriate for the standards of PG rated television!” / Tigress says: “Bulma should consider herself lucky that I found myself some enlightenment this season. If I was still inclined to resort to my OLD standby, I would just beat her up! But instead, I'm going to rely on a more MENTAL technique, and psyche her out, just to see how SHE reacts to a taste of her OWN medicine!” / Norbert says: “I think I speak for myself, my brother, AND my wife when I say, Bulma Briefs is GOING to pay for ELIMINATING all THREE of us!” / Stimpy says: “Personally, I'm not even THAT upset that I was eliminated; I'm more upset that Bulma had Zarbon cover me in black paint! That wasn't a very nice thing to do! I want a personal explanation from her, as to WHY she DID that to me!” / Marlene says: “Bulma's got a lot of NERVE to THINK that she's NOT going to pay for her crimes! I mean, did she HONESTLY think that we WEREN'T going to take getting eliminated PERSONALLY?! It is SO over for her, and I will be one of the FIRST to tell her, 'I told you SO!' In THOSE exact words!” / Rocko says: “I always knew that karma was going to strike Bulma when the time was right! This is what it will all boil down to! This is Bulma's moment of reckoning!” (End Confessional)

 

Anti-Timmy is climbing up the mesa with Bulma, and Bulma nervously says: “Come ON!!!! What is this about ANYWAYS?! Is it because I convinced Sniz to THROW you off the plane FIRST as a JOKE?! Is it because I convinced Guano and Snaptrap to convince the rest of Team Doom to vote YOU off FIRST?! Does this have to do with the fact that I had Kaput and Taotie torture you and TORMENT you with hideous scientific experiments until you grew all UGLY and DEFORMED?! Is this because I MADE you eat all those votes for Oonski and fit you with an Electronic Collar?! Is this because I tried to shoot you back in the Congo?! Is it because I tied you up into a pretzel shape, and left you to STARVE in the Cargo Hold?!” Anti-Timmy GROWLS angrily, as if to indicate that it's ALL of those things! Bulma angrily says: “I'm just TOTALLY NOT helping my case at all, am I?! Why can't I STOP talking when I'm only SLIGHTLY behind?!” (Confessional) Bulma says: “On a scale from 1 to 10, this day now OFFICIALLY ranks in the bottom FIVE worst days of my entire LIFE!!!!” (End Confessional) Both the former, AND the current contestants, arrive at the bottom of the mesa! Dib Bitters says: “There they go; they're almost at the top!” Judy says: “We have GOT to stop Anti-Timmy!” Wally asks: “But how?! When Captain Retro tried BLASTING him, he just regenerated his lost hand!” Captain Retro says: “Than we've got to destroy him ALL at once; by killing him with FIRE!!!! Chameleon, can you transform into a volcano?!” Chameleon suddenly gets an Anime sweatdrop, and says: “I'm not sure. I could try!” Captain Retro says: “Just dig in deep. I believe in you! The rest of us will go up the mesa and intercept Bulma Briefs! We'll make sure that she has NO avenue of escape!” (Confessional) Wally says: “Personally, I don't like having to get THIS desperate in trying to destroy something, but it NEEDS to be done! This is the only way to make SURE Anti-Timmy gets canceled—I mean, eliminated!” / Chameleon says: “There's a very SIMPLE reason as to WHY I don't KNOW if I can change into a volcano; I've never had to TRY a morph like that before! But if it works, it will definitely be a good way to get rid of Anti-Timmy!” / Captain Retro smiles, and he says: “I've always WANTED to do an ending homage to The Return of the King, and what a better occasion to do so, than with Anti-Timmy's EPIC end?! Peter Jackson, eat your heart out!” (End Confessional)

 

Anti-Timmy gets to the top of the mesa with Bulma, and he says: “Are you ready to be flung about a THOUSAND feet to a hideous SPLAT?!!!” Bulma nervously says: “You don't want to DO this! You'll be a MURDERER! A social pariah! No one will ever like you AGAIN! Think about the CONSEQUENCES!” Anti-Timmy angrily says: “YOU should have THOUGHT about the consequences of MESSING with things that you DON'T understand! But you just kept PUSHING me into THIS! You have NO one to BLAME for THIS except YOURSELF! And now you will finally PAY for what you've done for me! You will pay for it in INTEREST!!!!” Captain Retro shouts: “Kamehameha!!!!” And he shoots off Anti-Timmy's left hand! And Anti-Timmy turns around, and sees all the former AND current contestants, coming up and surrounding him on the mesa! Anti-Timmy regenerates his lost hand, and he says: “You think that ganging up on me will make a bit of DIFFERENCE?! I am TOUGHER than ALL of you!!!!” Otto Rocket removes a gold skater ring from his finger, and he angrily says: “I am SO sick and TIRED of all your STUPID posing, and your HORRIBLE attitude towards EVERYTHING! You WANT the precious so BAD?! TAKE IT!!!!” And Otto Rocket THROWS his ring TOWARDS the edge of the mesa, and Anti-Timmy screams: “MY PRECIOUS!!!!” And Anti-Timmy quickly RUNS out for it, leaps, and catches it, but he is COMPLETELY oblivious that he is FALLING towards CHAMELEON, who has JUST managed to transform into a volcano, FULL of LAVA, and he HITS the lava with a SICKENING SPLASH as he starts to get BOILED away into NOTHINGNESS! Cosmo yells: “WANDA!!!! I think we're going to need another TIMMY!!!!” Wanda says: “You've been waiting seventeen YEARS, just to say that LINE, haven't you?!” Cosmo coyly says: “MAYBE!!!!” And Chameleon BURPS a cloud of smoke ring, indicating that the job is done!

 

Bulma pants, and she says: “I'm ALIVE! I'm SAFE!!!! I knew you wouldn't fail me! You LIKE me! You REALLY like ME!!!!” Sway-Sway incredulously asks: “Do you think we came up here because we LIKE you?! You have no RIGHT to thank us for saving you!” Buhdeuce says: “Our show might have done some questionable things, but what you have DONE to all of us is simply REPUGNANT!!!!” Bulma incredulously says: “Don't blame ME for ALL of your short-comings!!!! Do you HONESTLY think that ANY of you could have made the Final Seven even IF I hadn't been a FACTOR?! You're deluding yourselves!!!!” Heffer Wolfe says: “Whether or NOT we would have made it isn't even the POINT, Bulma!” Robot says: “You took that chance for us to find out AWAY from ALL of us, Bulma!” Globitha says: “With only a FEW exceptions, you NEVER let ANY of us get eliminated in a matter that was FAIR! That wasn't RIGHT of you!” Phoebe says: “Even ANGELICA had the decency to tell me that she was BACKSTABBING me to my FACE!” Daggett asks: “And was all the pain and agony you put us through WORTH it?! Just to get yourself a few inches CLOSER than you would've gotten OTHERWISE?! You never even TRIED to play fair!” Bulma finally screams: “But, I had no CHOICE!!!!” Marlene asks: “What are you TALKING about?! You've ALWAYS had a choice!” Bulma says: “Not for my Clean Slate! Dr. Gero told me that the only way I could GET my Clean Slate from HIM, was to actively sabotage as MANY contestants as I can, in the most HEINOUS way possible that I could THINK of!” Dudley asks: “Do you expect us to believe you NOW; after all this LYING you've done throughout the season?!” Bulma pleads: “You've got to BELIEVE me! I never would've TRIED to pull any of the STUNTS I've pulled this season if I didn't have a REASON! But you don't know how DESPERATELY I NEED this CLEAN Slate! I could FINALLY be a QUEEN!!!!” Rocko exasperated, says: “You're NOT fit to be Queen of...NAME a PLACE!!!!” Bulma asks: “Barstow, California?” Randolph says: “ESPECIALLY Barstow, California!” Bulma says: “I can PROVE Dr. Gero made me do this! He has been hiding on the plane this whole time! I can SHOW him to you! Just SPARE me from a HORRIBLE elimination!” Captain Retro says: “Oh, I BELIEVE that you WILL show us whether or NOT Dr. Gero IS on the plane or NOT; but you're NOT worming your way OUT of your punishment!” Bulma nervously says: “Come on! Lighten up! Are you STILL angry that I tried to eliminate you BEFORE this challenge even STARTED?! COME ON!!!! Can't you take a JOKE?!” Dog says: “I KNOW jokes! I've TOLD jokes! But everything YOU'VE done this season, has been NO joke! And it's TIME to reveal the punch-line to EVERYONE, once and for ALL!” /

 

Genre: Pop Rock. Sub-genre: Cher. Song: “Just like Jesse James.” Sung by: The current contestants! / The current contestants surround Bulma Briefs, as they are all brandishing a paintball gun. / Captain Retro: “You're strutting into town like you're slinging a gun.” Bulma: “You’re just a small town dude with a big city attitude. Honey, are you looking for some trouble tonight? Well, all right! You think you're so bad, drive the women folk wild. Shoot them all down with the flash of your pearly smile.” Captain Retro: “Honey, but you met your match tonight. Oh, that's right!” Skipper: “You think you'll knock me off my feet until I'm flat on the floor. Until my heart is crying ‘Uncle’ and I'm begging for more!” Suzie: “So come on baby, come on baby; come on baby, show me what that loaded gun is for!” (Shoots Bulma!) Reggie: “If you can give it, I can take it. Cause, if this heart is gonna break it's gonna take a lot to break it!” Bulma: “I know tonight, somebody's gonna win the fight!” Captain Retro: “So if you're so tough, come on and prove it. Your heart is down for the count, and you know you're gonna lose it! Tonight you're gonna go down in flames, just like Jesse James!” (Shoots Bulma!) Chameleon: “You're an outlaw lover and I'm after your hide. Well you ain't so strong, won't be long until your hands are tied!” (Shoots Bulma!) Patrick: “Tonight, I'm gonna take you in dead or alive, that's right! You break the laws of love in the name of desire.” Bulma: “Take ten steps back, because I'm ready, baby!” Captain Retro: “Aim and fire! (Shoots Bulma) Baby, there's nowhere you can run tonight! Ooh, that's right! Well, you've had your way with love, but it's the end of the day. Now, a team of wild horses couldn't drag my heart away! So come on baby, come on, baby; come on baby, you know there ain't nothing left to say. If you can give it, I can take it. Cause, if this heart is gonna break it's gonna take a lot to break it!” Bulma: “I know tonight, somebody's gonna win the fight.” Captain Retro: “So if you're so tough, come on and prove it. Your heart is down for the count, and you know you're gonna lose it. Tonight you're gonna go down in flames, just like Jesse James!” (Shoots Bulma)

[INSTRUMENTAL BREAK]
Patrick: “You think you'll knock me off my feet until I'm flat on the floor. Until my heart is crying ‘Uncle’ and I'm begging for more! So come on baby, come on baby; come on baby, come on! If you can give it, I can take it! Cause if this heart is gonna break, it's gonna take a lot to break it!” (Shoots Bulma!) Bulma: “I know tonight, somebody's gonna win the fight!” Captain Retro: “So if you're so tough, come on and prove it. Your heart is down for the count, and you know you're gonna lose it! Tonight you're gonna go down in flames, just like Jesse James! (Shoots Bulma!) Tonight you're gonna go down in flames, just like Jesse James!” All Current Contestants except Bulma: “Tonight you're gonna go down in flames, just like Jesse James!” (They ALL shoot Bulma!) Skipper: “I'm gonna shoot you down Jesse James!” / And the epic song ends as the current contestants shoot ALL their paint balls at Bulma! / Sniz finally shows up, and he claps enthusiastically at the performance! Sniz says: “Well done! It's over, the challenge is ALL over! And in an UNUSUAL twist, we have a SIX way TIE!!!! Because you all FIRED at Bulma Briefs, you ALL won the SAME amount of points! To determine the winner of this challenge, we will settle this with a tie-breaker question! Jenny, bring in the tie-breaker pedestal from Legends of the Hidden Temple!” And Jenny flies in, carrying a six-pedestal buzzer for the six contestants. Sniz says: “Your question will be related to a Wild Western movie, since this WAS a Wild Western challenge! Who played the title character, in the 2013 movie version, of The Lone Ranger?” And Skipper QUICKLY buzzes in first, BEFORE Captain Retro! Sniz asks: “Skipper?” Skipper says: “The answer my friend, is Armie Hammer!” Sniz says: “That is absolutely correct! You've won immunity and a spot in the V.I.P. Lounge!” Skipper sighs and says: “Sorry, Captain Retro; but I couldn't RISK Bulma trying to eliminate ME again! You understand, right?” Captain Retro says: “Statistically speaking, you HAD to win a challenge SOONER or later!” Sniz says: “That means this evening, you seven contestants can NOT vote for Skipper! Everyone is fair game, because it's time for another Elimination Ceremony, to DETERMINE the Final Six!” (Confessional) Skipper jumps up and says: “YES!!!! Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!!!! I did it, I DID it, AND I DID IT!!!! I've got a spot in the Final Six!” / Captain Retro says: “Losing to Skipper? Tragic; but I'll settle for Bulma Briefs going down!” /

 

Patrick says: “It will be interesting to see how Bulma reacts to having her NAME show up on the pass-port stamps that we will punch OUT for her!” / Suzie says: “Bulma, my mother once told me if you can't say something NICE about someone, don't say ANYTHING at all! Needless to say, I have NOTHING more to SAY about you!” / Reggie says: “The moment of truth has finally come, Bulma! It's time for you to see why crime simply NEVER pays in the LONG run!” / Bulma growls angrily, and she says: “If ONLY I had GOTTEN that MASK; I would have had it MADE!!!! Don't they REALIZE that they're voting off the biggest REASON for this show HAVING the ratings that it DOES?!!! This CAN'T be OVER!!!!” / Chameleon says: “It is SO over!” (End Confessional) The contestants have all cleaned up, and all dressed back in their normal outfits. Sniz says: “First of all, here is your Immunity Popcorn, Skipper. Treasure it like a TRUE winner would! Now for the rest of you, six of you have fought hard to make it this far, but only five of you will get to join Skipper in the Final Six. Now, does anyone have anything they'd like to say before we commence voting?” Captain Retro stands up, and he says: “I do. My fellow contestants, I know some of us have had our differences in the past, but I just want you to know, that all things considered, I've had nothing but the utmost respect and honesty with you. And if it comes to a vote, I've already got a pretty good idea, that my vote is going to either Suzie or Reggie, when the time comes. Bulma Briefs, you have been a HORRIBLE contestant this season, and you've caused nothing but AGONY and GRIEF to our former contestants!” Bulma asked: “How so?” Captain Retro says: “Well, for starters, let's go back to the micro-chip incident from the Idaho challenge. Snaptrap's micro-chip SOMEHOW wound up on Reggie Rocket, despite Reggie having NEVER personally made any sort of ill will AGAINST Snaptrap, and Snaptrap having never TOLD anyone ABOUT that micro-chip! Tell me, why would his micro-chip wind up on Reggie Rocket, if she had NEVER done anything bad against him?” Bulma asks: “Why would Snaptrap NEED a reason?! He could have just done it because it AMUSED him, a lot of villains DO that!”

 

Captain Retro says: “No; that simply doesn't seem plausible! It always seemed like trying to sabotage Reggie Rocket NEEDED a reason to happen, and Snaptrap didn't HAVE the proper motivation to WANT to eliminate Reggie, but perhaps someone ELSE in the game DID! And YOU, Bulma Briefs, have always BRAGGED about being the SMARTEST contestant in the entire game! SURELY you would have RECOGNIZED Reggie's potential for WINNING the game early ON, and would have TRIED to SUBVERT her chances early ON; BEFORE she could become a THREAT to you!” Bulma says: “You're just trying to throw BASELESS accusations at me! You have NOTHING based in reality to back you up on THIS!” Captain Retro says: It is NOT a baseless accusation, and I CAN actually prove this!” Bulma asks: “And just HOW, might I ask, can you DO that?!” Captain Retro says: “Because your BIGGEST weakness has ALWAYS been your inability to keep your mouth shut, and you would NEVER divulge your secrets to ANYONE you THOUGHT of as a THREAT; I ASKED Gonard to RECORD your voice with a Dog Bone VOICE RECORDER that I GAVE him, and HE gave it back to ME before he got ELIMINATED! So if you don't MIND, everyone, I will now play for you EXACTLY what Bulma Briefs has had in MIND during her competition THIS season!” And as Captain Retro plays his Voice Recorder, the camera changes to focus on the expressions of the other contestants, Bulma gets more and MORE horrified that her thoughts have been exposed, while all the OTHER contestants get MORE disgusted by Bulma's TRUE thoughts! /

Gonard says: “It's nice to see you here, Bulma. How are you doing?” Bulma scoffs and says: “Not so well that I'm not WILLING to spend at least a FEW minutes of my life with you!” Gonard asks: “I just don't understand what your problem is. Maybe if you talked about it, you would feel better about yourself, as well as everybody else.” Bulma SERIOUSLY says: “I don't WANT to know anybody else! I don't want to have ANYTHING to DO with them!” Gonard asks: “What about Zarbon? You seem awfully chummy with him.” Bulma scoffs and says: “Chummy? PLEASE!!!! Like I 'ACTUALLY' love him, he's just a guy that I'm leading on for as LONG as it's CONVENIENT for me! When he ceases to be useful, I'll BETRAY him and DUMP him at my first convenience! He's just a PAWN that I'm using to FURTHER my own game!” Gonard asks: “Are you SAYING that you honestly don't CARE for Zarbon?!” Bulma groans and says: “Not only do I NOT care for Zarbon, I don't care for ANYBODY in this competition!” Gonard says: “You can't HONESTLY mean that!” Bulma says: “Believe me, I do! Can you keep a secret? Of COURSE you can! Besides, who would believe YOU even IF you told anybody? NOBODY! That's WHO! I am a GENIUS, and you're...GONARD! It's MY word against YOUR word! And we BOTH know who would WIN in a debate!” Gonard says: “I'm not trying to come down on you, I just want to get to know you!” Bulma says: “All you need to know is that despite what Zarbon has claimed, I have been in charge of ALL the power moves of this game! Zarbon MIGHT have been the one to carry out the dirty deeds, but I WAS the one who came up with ALL the ideas!” Gonard says: “NO!!!!” Bulma confidently says: “YES! Who ELSE could come up with the BRILLIANT plan to have Timmy Turner eliminated so soon, so I could have Zarbon MUTATE Timmy Turner so that he would grow all ROTTEN and HIDEOUS and be the PERFECT weapon to have in order to protect me in Elimination Ceremonies?! Who ELSE would give Snaptrap the idea to RIG off Jimmy Neutron, the GREATEST threat to my genius, so that he couldn't POSSIBLY have a chance to use HIS brain against MINE?! Who ELSE could have come up with the plan that if Zarbon were to RIG the plane, it would CAUSE Captain Retro and Marlene to KISS, RUINING her relationship with Skipper?!”

Suzie angrily says: “SHE did IT! It was ALL HER!!!!” Gonard seriously asks: “That was YOU?!” Bulma says: “That's not all! Who else could engineer the eliminations of Fanboy, Roger, Kitty Katswell, Snaptrap, Haggis McHaggis, Twister, Lil Deville, Skipper TWICE, Angelica Pickles TWICE, Pearl Krabs Star, Treeflower, Dib Bitters and Judy Funny, Sway-Sway, Harvey Beaks and Craig Slithers, Stanley S. Squarepants, Super Chum, the REAL Guano, Invader Zim, Keswick, Kaput and Oonski the Great, Otto Rocket, Sanjay and Heffer Wolfe, Globitha and Robot Default, King Julien and Buhdeuce, Monster Krumholtz, Spongebob, Blonda and Larry, Taotie and Tigress, Randolph, Daggett AND Norbert?! That was ME!!!! It was ALL me! I KNEW Angelica would be SO conceited and DENSE, that she would BELIEVE that if she DID all the HORRIBLE things I said and SAID all the HORRIBLE things I TOLD her to say, that she would automatically GET all the money, then be DESPERATE enough to go to Dai Shi to help her get back IN the competition, which would lead to Otto Rocket's elimination! And Treeflower? She could have held out longer, IF I didn't tell Zarbon to SPIKE her food with chemicals that would CAUSE her to get sick and ill! I also told Zarbon to SPIKE Dib Bitters food in order to MAKE his food fail with General Barracuda, and I HAD Zarbon inject the bull named El Toro Loco with a serum to make him go CRAZY with rage when Judy Funny took a ride on him! I BRIBED Jenny Quackles to GIVE Sway-Sway a chance! I knew that if Sway-Sway HAD Jenny Quackles to go after, he'd QUIT the game! It was MY idea for Kaput to DAMAGE the food conveyer belt, FORCING Craig Slithers to eat the uncooked pizza and therefore, be UNABLE to help his team get a win! I FED Stanley S. Squarepants the LIE that if HE bragged about his being able to drive to SPONGEBOB, that Spongebob would APPRECIATE Stanley, knowing full-well it would SET Spongebob OFF!!!!” Gonard, in an unbelieving tone says: “You DIDN'T!!!!”

Patrick just shakes his head and says: “This is unacceptable!” Bulma says: “But I DID!!!! I was the one who called Global Warmer to attack Man-Arctica, FORCING the latter to seek out Super Chum and get HIM out of the competition! And Otto was DESPERATE enough for a win, that he was willing to believe that if he took out Guano, it would help him OUT in the competition! Of course, by this time, Keswick was getting NOSY and getting FAR too close to the truth, so I HAD to use Anti-Timmy to engineer HIS elimination! After that, Kaput and Oonski had outlived THEIR usefulness to me, so I decided to get Kaput out with his allergy to MOLES, and dug up the VERY useful information about Oonski's parentage to Daggett! Ironically enough, Blonda's entrance into the game, which I could not POSSIBLY plan for, ended up helping ME immensely! With her OVER-BLOATED ego, I could use her narcissism to make HER look BAD to everyone else and make ME look good by comparison! Her ego was the best weapon I could have HAD in order to take out Sanjay, Heffer, Buhdeuce, King Julien, AND Monster Krumholtz! Of course, I also couldn't possibly IGNORE the double-threat of Globitha and Robot, CLEAR audience favorites that would get in the WAY of MY eventual win, so I convinced EVERYONE, even MONSTER, to vote her off, and Robot Default wouldn't be ABLE to compete WITHOUT her, so he would QUIT the game WITH her! I HAD hoped to take Blonda out for GOOD after the Australian challenge, but she ended up providing me with an opportunity that I COULDN'T resist; taking out Spongebob! So I threw OUT the idea to Taotie, that if he were to micro-chip Spongebob's koala, it would get Spongebob out for GOOD! And because Blonda had just made SKIPPER the brand new target of the instigator who would be BEHIND Spongebob's elimination, it was the perfect opportunity to get RID of him AGAIN!”

Skipper angrily says: “How DARE she?!” Gonard shakes his head and says: “I can't believe ANY of this!” Bulma says: “I assure you, that what I am telling you IS true! Of course, there was no WAY I could risk either Blonda or Larry making it to the team merge, which is why I convinced Zarbon to convince LARRY to cheat on his behalf, and CATCH Larry cheating once I RATTED Zarbon OUT for it! And while Taotie was INDEED useful to me, I couldn't STAND his ugliness anymore, which is why I convinced Zarbon to hack into the computer main-frame, and write up that automatic double elimination rule for the Congo challenge, and to make SURE Taotie got paired up with Tigress, knowing full well that Tigress would do ANYTHING to get Taotie out of the competition, EVEN if it meant sacrificing her own game! As for Randolph, I BRIBED him to quit the game in case he got caught and potentially tortured, 'promising' him a healthy sum of money should he be inconvenienced by his treatment in the game. Finally, I couldn't POSSIBLY ignore Daggett and Norbert TRYING to throw a WRENCH into my plans, which is why I made SURE that Zarbon would TARGET the BOTH of them, based on his FALSE notions of getting anywhere NEAR to fourth base with me!” Gonard reluctantly asks: “Don't you wish you had done ANYTHING different in this competition?” Bulma says: “Sure I do! I wish that I had Timmy Turner TORTURED more for how AWFUL his show had and has become! I wish I had told Zarbon and Taotie to make MORE fun of Fanboy and Super Chum's BLATANT homosexuality for each other! I wish that Taotie would have humiliated Kitty Katswell even WORSE before eliminating her! I constantly wish that Captain Retro wouldn't INTERFERE with MY game, like when he found out about Snaptrap's micro-chip on Reggie Rocket, FORCING the removal of Snaptrap from the game! I WISH that Haggis had HURT Treeflower even WORSE than he DID before HE got removed from the game! I wish that Twister had been even MORE obnoxious and oblivious than he was! I wish that Lil Deville got HURT even WORSE than she did when SHE fell out of the plane! I wish that Otto Rocket had been MORE nasty to Angelica Pickles when he dumped her for GOOD! I wish that Treeflower's misery of being SICK could have LASTED longer before she finally dropped out!” Gonard says: “That's NOT true!”

Reggie says: “That is SO despicable!” Bulma says: “Why couldn't it be true?! She means NOTHING to me! Nobody DOES! I wish that General Barracuda got hurt WORSE by Dib Bitters sabotaged recipe, and that Judy Funny suffered far WORSE injuries after getting thrown off by El Toro Loco! I WISH that Jenny Quackles had BROKEN Sway-Sway's PATHETIC little heart, instead of ACTUALLY falling in 'LOVE' with him! I wish that Spongebob would have gone COMPLETELY evil and knocked the living DAYLIGHTS out of his LOUSY cousin, Stanley! I wish that GUANO had been hurt even WORSE by Otto! I wish that Blonda had been MORE cut-throat, and had caused REAL damage to King Julien, instead of just emotional damage! I wish that koala had hurt Spongebob even WORSE than it did! I hoped that Skipper would ACCEPT defeat like a NORMAL contestant, instead of TRYING to come back TWICE in his PATHETIC attempt to TRY to win! And I wish that Tigress didn't suddenly become all 'moral,' and that she would actually TRY to MAIM Taotie BEFORE eliminating him!” Gonard asks: “So, you WISH that everybody who has EVER done your dirty deeds for you, would've done MORE to hurt those they eliminated?” Bulma replies: “Why should I CARE what happens to anyone ELSE?! I'm the ONLY one who has a CHANCE of winning this thing! Nobody else can come anywhere CLOSE to matching my genius! I have this little bet going on with everyone back in West City, that by the time I'm DONE completely RUINING their STUPID little game plans and SHATTERING their pathetic self-confidence, that every contestant that I wanted OFF in this competition, will have to seek YEARS of self-health therapy, just to get over the fact that I mentally CRUSHED them! Now, if you'll EXCUSE me, I have some jury votes to work over. I want to see if I can make it FREAKING unanimous that I WIN!!!!” /

Captain Retro turns off the Voice Recorder and says: “Well, there you have it. And as it turns out, Bulma; it's now YOUR word against YOUR word!” Bulma screams: “WHY COULDN'T I JUST LEARN TO KEEP MY BIG, GIGANTIC, FAT MOUTH SHUT?!!!” Captain Retro says: “Your words, not mine.” Bulma nervously says: “But you STILL can't vote me OFF! You'd NEVER see Dr. Gero for yourself!!!!” And she runs off into the Cargo Room area! Chameleon says: “After her!” And they all rush into the Cargo Room! In the Cargo Room, Bulma says: “Oh, Dr. GERO; I've brought Captain Retro's MASK for you!” And everyone STOPS as they see the giant, floating green head of Dr. Gero FLOAT in the air! Dr. Gero billows: “So, indeed you HAVE!!!! But WHY is it STILL on Captain Retro?!” Bulma says: “You just said that I had to BRING you Captain Retro's mask! You never SAID just HOW I should do it!” Dr. Gero loudly says: “So you TRICKED him into coming back here, didn't you?! Very resourceful!” Bulma says: “So it's time for YOU to uphold YOUR end of the bargain, if you don't MIND, sir!” Dr Gero shouts: “Not so fast! NOT SO FAST!!!! I'll have to wait until after I've given it a little thought! Go away and come back TOMORROW!” Bulma incredulously asks: “TOMORROW?! I NEED that Clean Slate NOW!!!! I've given you PLENTY of time already!” Dr. Gero angrily says: “Do NOT arouse the WRATH of the GREAT and POWERFUL Gero! I SAID, 'Come back TOMORROW!'” But none of them APPEAR to notice that Captain Retro is HEADING back TOWARDS a suspiciously GREEN curtain located in the Cargo Room! Bulma says: “If you were REALLY great and powerful, you'd keep your PROMISE to ME!” And Captain Retro PULLS the Green Curtain to REVEAL a tall, OLD, Sinister, fairly UGLY man! Dr. Gero, through a microphone and operating controls, says: “Do YOU presume to CRITICIZE the GREAT Gero?! You UNGRATEFUL creature, should think yourself LUCKY, that I'm giving you an audience TOMORROW, instead of TWENTY years from NOW!!!!” Dr. Gero looks back and says: “OH!!!!” Dr. Gero speaks into the microphone and says: “The GREAT Gero HAS spoken!” Dr. Gero panics and says: “OH!!!!” And he pulls the curtain shut! Dr. Gero shouts: “Pay no attention to the MAN behind the CURTAIN!!!! The GREATEST Gero has SPOKEN!!!!” Bulma pulls the curtain back, and she asks: “Who are you?!” Dr. Gero through the microphone, shouts: “I am the GREAT and POWERFUL--!” And Dr. Gero decides to drop the charade, and he plainly says: “Dr. Gero!”

Bulma angrily says: “You're a HUMBUG!!!!” Dr. Gero says: “So, the GREAT genius Bulma Briefs FINALLY catches on! Do you THINK I was helping you because I LIKED you?! I was just USING you to gather some HELPFUL information!” Suzie asks: “What information?!” Dr. Gero says: “Information that I will use to complete my GREATEST technological achievements, Cyborgs 17 and 18! Once I am done with them, Bulma Briefs, the world you live on as YOU know it shall CEASE to exist! Therefore, there will be no NEED for you to HAVE a Clean Slate anymore, as there will be NO ONE you PERSONALLY know of LEFT alive to CARE about your STUPID secret anymore!” Bulma gets shocked, and says: “But I only agreed to personally HELP you if you PROMISED to not SEND those Cyborgs AFTER my friends! CONTINUING to create those Cyborgs was NEVER part of our DEAL!!!!” Dr. Gero creepily says: “I ALTERED the deal! Be THANKFUL I have decided not to ALTER it any further! Does THAT ring a bell to YOU, Bulma Briefs? You should know, you SAID it YOURSELF!!!!”

Chameleon angrily says: “You'll NEVER get AWAY with this!” And he PUNCHES Dr. Gero, only to reveal that he is NOTHING more than a ROBOT made in Dr. Gero's IMAGE!!!! The Robot menacingly says: “You will NEVER find ME, BULMA; but I'll find YOU; and your PRECIOUS, bratty FRIENDS!!!!” And the Robot shuts down and breaks into pieces! Bulma suddenly breaks down and cries! Bulma screams: “NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Bulma cries tears, and she says: “It's all been a JOKE!!!! My entire RUN this season has been just a CRUEL, SICK Joke!” Skipper asks: “Do you HONESTLY think we're going to feel SORRY for you, after ALL the stuff that you put EVERYONE through this season?!” Bulma cries, and she says: “I didn't mean to do ANY of this! I didn't KNOW Dr. Gero was using me, I SWEAR!!!!” Reggie asks: “How am I supposed to believe THAT?! After what you TRIED to pull with me?!” Captain Retro says: “I know of one way; a milder form of 'Redemption Equals Death.' I was given many things when I came to this dimension; one of the things I was given WAS a Clean Slate! I can GIVE this to you, Bulma, so you can erase this embarrassing mistake that has consumed your life, but you HAVE to eliminate yourself; and you have to promise to start becoming a better, nicer person after you are eliminated! Then, and only THEN will I give you this Clean Slate!” Bulma says: “But if I erase my mistake, I would STILL have to come back to my home planet where everyone has SURELY seen what I have DONE this season! If I go back, then I would have to face my past! I've been running from it for SO long!” Skipper SLAPS Bulma with his flipper, and Bulma asks: “OW!!!! GEEZ! What was THAT for?!” Skipper says: “It doesn't matter! It's in the past!” Bulma rubs her face, and she says: “Yeah, but it STILL hurts!” Captain Retro says: “I know, the past CAN hurt! But you want to know what I've learned in life? You can either try and run FROM your past; or, learn from it!” And Captain Retro THROWS a punch, but Bulma ducks it! Captain Retro says: “You SEE?! So, what are you going to do?” Bulma says: “First, I'm going to TAKE your MASK!!!!” And Bulma SNATCES Captain Retro's mask, causing Captain Retro to drop the Clean Slate! Captain Retro covers his face and says: “No, no, NO!!!! Not my Mask!” Captain Retro puts his mask back on, and turns back around, as Bulma has grabbed her Clean Slate, AND a parachute! Captain Retro asks: “Where are YOU going?!” Bulma shouts: “I'm going BACK!!!!” And she JUMPS out of the plane! Captain Retro says: “GOOD!!!! Go on! Get out of here! YAHOO!!!!” Patrick says: “WOAH!!!! Bulma Briefs eliminated HERSELF?! I did NOT see that coming!” Fondue says: “I guess she really DIDN'T mean to do any of the things she did this season!”

General Barracuda says: “Well, she was STILL kind of a JERK anyways!” (Confessional) Captain Retro gulps, and he nervously says: “Kamehameha!!!!” And he tries to produce a ray of energy, but NOTHING comes out! Captain Retro says: “Oh NO!!!! My powers HAVE all left me! That means there is no more EVIL left on the plane! And that means, I'm down on level playing field with everyone ELSE! It's certainly not going to TAKE the other contestants that long to figure this out! I'm on borrowed time!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “And with that, it is all over! Bulma Briefs has left the plane, and we are down to the Final Six Contestants for this season! Any one of them has a chance to win up to $44.44 million, but one of them will STILL have to take the Drop of Shame before we get to the Final Five! Find out who it is on the next exciting episode of Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” /

Epilogue: A montage of scenes of Bulma speaking (which there are a LOT of); are juxtaposed to show Bulma getting more and more unnerved, and finally despairing, as a hit song, sung by Captain Retro, is performed during this montage! / Genre: Alternative Rock. Sub-genre: Funk Rock. Song: “Little Miss Can't Be Wrong” (Clean Version). Sung by: Captain Retro! / Captain Retro: “Been a whole lot easier since the witch left town. Been a whole lot happier without that face around. Nobody upstairs gonna stomp and shout, nobody out the back door gonna throw my laundry out. She holds the shotgun while you do-si-do. She want one man made of Hercules and Cyrano. Been a whole lot easier since the witch has gone. Little miss, Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong! Little miss, Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong; ain't nobody gonna bow no more when you sound your gong. Little miss, Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong! What you going to do, to get into another one of these here rock and roll songs? Other people's thoughts, they ain't your hand-me-downs. Would it be so bad to simply turn around? You know you cook so well, all nice and French. You do your brain surgery too; mama, with yer monkey wrench! It's been a whole lot easier since the witch has gone. Little miss, Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong! Little miss, Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong; ain't nobody gonna bow no more when you sound your gong. Little miss, Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong! What you going to do, to get into another one of these here rock and roll songs? (Guitar solo) I hope that attitude is gonna make you cough! I hope you heard this song and it ticked you off! I take that back; I hope you're doing fine! And if I had a dollar, I might give you ninety-nine. Little miss, Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong! Ain't nobody gonna bow no more when you sound your gong. Little miss, Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong! What you going to do, to get into another one of these here rock 'n' roll songs? OH! Little miss, Little miss can't be wrong; no, you can't be wrong! Little miss, Little miss, Little Miss can't be wrong! OH! Oh; oh, OH!!!!” / And the epic song ends. /

Episode Notes: Running gags in this episode, Bulma KEEPS asking herself why she can't just ever learn to JUST stop talking, and various people keep saying that Anti-Timmy NEEDS to be KILLED and needs to be KILLED with FIRE!!!! Fittingly enough, Anti-Timmy FINALLY meets his end in this episode, when he falls into a lava-filled volcano; or rather, Chameleon who transformed himself INTO one! The sequence is an affectionate reference to the theatrical climax of The Return of the King. Bulma's private conversation with Gonard from the episode “Baking Bad, and Good!”; is finally played in full in front of the remaining contestants, and it helps seal her fate with her elimination. The sequences with Dr. Gero are on homage to “The Wizard of Oz;” and just like in the movie, the facade is EXPOSED by the DOG who shows EVERYONE just what a SHAM the Wizard/Doctor TRULY is! Bulma Briefs, ironically, gets her Clean Slate from Captain Retro, in exchange for eliminating herself, and promising to become a better person once she becomes eliminated. With Bulma's elimination, not only has every single contestant from “Dragonball Z Kai now been eliminated; but Captain Retro, as a result, loses access to all of his powers. With no more evil on the plane, he no longer has any need for his powers. Skipper wins individual immunity for the first time this season! Featured songs in this episode: “Wanted Dead or Alive; Think for Yourself; Little Miss Can't Be Wrong;” (a clean version), and “Just Like Jesse James!” /

Personal Notes: Because I consider this episode to be the high point of this entire season, I wanted it to be something BIG that people would enjoy! That's one of the reasons that I didn't want to rush writing this thing! Ironically, one of the BEST parts of this episode wasn't even MY idea; I actually have to thank Hayden for coming up with the idea to have ALL the current contestants have a shot at Bulma Briefs; I think it really improved the episode a whole lot! One of the things that I wanted to do this season, that I didn't have a chance to do in my previous seasons, was to do a milder version of “Redemption Equals Death.” Because Bulma was never TRULY an evil person; but in the earlier seasons of “Dragonball Z,” BEFORE she gave birth to Trunks, she was an EXTREMELY bratty and EXTREMELY annoying person! And it always puzzled me as to WHY she became so much NICER after giving birth to Trunks! Writing this season was a way for me to answer my own question, as to WHY Bulma became a nicer person. After going through a rough ordeal in order to get something she wanted, it made her realize that her having such a bratty personality wasn't the way for her to live her life, which is why she became such a better person in the later seasons of “Dragonball Z.” / That's my episode idea for today! Enough said!

[4EverGreen]

Things are finally settling back down to normal, but there is still plenty of excitement to be had, on today's newest adventure! I hope that you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! / Sniz is in the cockpit, and says: “Last time, on Total Cartoon Global Cruise, it was epic Western show-down time at the OK Corral in Tombstone, Arizona! Seven contestants would enter, but only six would be able to carry on in their epic quest for up to $44.44 million in cold hard cash! Bulma was getting all ready to deal with Captain Retro once and for all, when who should rear his ugly head but Anti-Timmy?! He was not happy about what Bulma had done to him, and was prepared to deal the bratty beauty some serious harm! Luckily, Captain Retro and the other contestants formed as a band of heroes, and found a way to DISPOSE of Anti-Timmy, once and for all! Then, they finally got to deal Bulma Briefs, some much needed Western punishment! And, as it turns out, Bulma has secretly been behind nearly ALL the SHOCKING power moves made in this game, and the things she said about her former contestants, were FAR from pretty! In order to avoid a PAINFUL elimination by the hands of her fellow contestants, Bulma chose to eliminate herself, rather than endure the wrath of her fellow contestants. Sadly, with Bulma out of the plane, Captain Retro suddenly found that his morality based superpowers had gone bye-bye, and he was now living on borrowed time in this game! Is this Captain Retro's final moment of glory? Where will we go today, that we haven't gone already? And who will win today when all is said and done? Find out, as we continue our radical race, on Total Cartoon (sings) Global Cruise! I wonder how you say that in Hindu?” /

 

Instead of the usual show open, the remaining six contestants reflect on their incredible journey to get to this point, by remembering all of the wild adventures they've had so far, while singing their version of a Fleetwood Mac hit song! / Genre: Rock. Sub-genre: Fleetwood Mac. Song: “Don't Stop.” Sung by: The contestants! / Captain Retro: “If you wake up and don't want to smile, if it takes just a little while; open your eyes, and look at the day, you'll see things in a different way.” Skipper and Suzie: “Don't stop thinking about tomorrow. Don't stop, it'll soon be here. It'll be here better than before. Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone!” Reggie: “Why not think about times to come? And not about the things that you've done? If your life was bad to you; just think what tomorrow will do.” Patrick and Chameleon: “Don't stop thinking about tomorrow. Don't stop, it'll soon be here. It'll be here better than before. Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone!” (Guitar Solo)

 

Captain Retro: “All I want is to see you smile, if it takes just a little while.” Skipper: “I know you don't believe that it's true, I never meant any harm to you.” Reggie and Chameleon: “Don't stop thinking about tomorrow. Don't stop, it'll soon be here! It'll be here better than before. Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone!” Suzie and Chameleon: “Don't stop thinking about tomorrow. Don't stop, it'll soon be here. It'll be here better than before. Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone!” Reggie and Captain Retro: “Ooh! Don't you look back. Don't you look back. Don't you look back. Don't you look back.” / And the epic song ends! / “The Long Run.” / The plane is in transit again. For the first time ever, Skipper is getting to relax in the V.I.P. Lounge, enjoying all the comforts he can imagine! Skipper says to himself: “Well, it took 46 episodes LONGER than it should have, but I finally made it, to the V.I.P. Lounge! Soft, comfy pillows, nice, warm bed, a crackling fire, and all the fish that I can eat. The only thing that doesn't make this place TOTALLY perfect, is that Marlene isn't here to enjoy it with me! I miss her SO much!” (Confessional) Skipper says: “Let's face the facts, with Bulma gone, and Captain Retro having lost access to his superpowers, I pretty much have this game in the palm of my flippers! It just STINKS that Bulma had to ELIMINATE so many of my FRIENDS, before I could get here! At least now, I think it will be NOTHING but smooth sailing from here on out!” (End Confessional) In the First Class Section of the plane, four other contestants are relaxing! Suzie says: “You know, it's a SHAME that we all couldn't share the V.I.P. Lounge, seeing as how we ALL took down Bulma Briefs! But seeing as how Bulma Briefs IS gone, I think that's a good enough prize for ALL of us!” Reggie says: “Agreed! No more talking about Bulma Briefs, let's just focus on the rest of the game, even if there's not much left of it to go around!” Patrick says: “I will be SO happy, to get into the Final Five, and be able to give Pearl, a much needed surge of money!”

 

Chameleon looks at Captain Retro, and Chameleon asks: “Captain Retro, whatever are you doing!” Captain Retro strains, and he says: “I'm trying to FLY! Can't you see I'm trying to fly?!” Suzie says: “Captain Retro, ever since Bulma got herself a one-way ticket out of this game, you've been trying like CRAZY to continue to use your powers, with no luck in that department!” Reggie says: “It's not pleasant, but you're just like the rest of us, now! You're not any different from us!” Captain Retro says: “But I REALLY liked being different! It made me feel so SPECIAL; so unique! Without my superpowers; what am I? Just another funny, talking, anthropomorphic dog! And heaven KNOWS just how many of them there ARE in cartoons already!” Patrick says: “It's too bad you're not a sea star. The cartoon field isn't very crowded, in terms of popular sea stars!” Chameleon says: “I could lend you my power suit. You could TRANSFORM into something that can fly if that will make you feel any better!” Captain Retro says: “Thanks for the offer, but I have to decline for two reasons. A; I don't feel as safe and secure about the transformation technology the way YOU do! And B; your power suit only works with YOU wearing with, so unless you want to carry me AROUND as something flying, I'll have to pass!” Chameleon says: “It was a suggestion!” Captain Retro says: “Don't get me wrong; I appreciate the offer, but I have to face the cold, hard facts. My superpowers are gone, which makes me on level playing field with the rest of you. I don't expect any of you to try to save me, nor should you have any reason to. You four and Skipper combined, know more about being a Nicktoon then I do. Honestly, I just can't compete with that!” Suzie says: “That's never stopped you before! You just got to find something special about yourself, and use it to help you out! My ability to SING; and perform, fuels my energetic performances!” Reggie says: “I'm a skilled athlete! By mastering many sports, I get really good with tricky moves!” Chameleon says: “My Changing Suit allows me to become anything I feel like. By becoming many different things, I know what it's like to walk a mile in another person's shoes! Not, always literally, of course!” Patrick says; “Uh, I'm Patrick; and my special skill is...well; I'm still HERE, aren't I?!” Captain Retro says: “I get the idea, you all have special, unique skills! And...well, I guess MY special skill is my ability to create art, know a lot of facts about a lot of popular songs, and occasionally act in locally made movies, but I don't see how any of those skills could help out in whatever challenge comes up next!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “At this point, the only chance I could POSSIBLY have in the next challenge, is if we ended up doing some weird, India Bollywood challenge; where the object was to sing, and act, while creating some really pretty art!” / Suzie says: “Let's face the facts; I'm pretty much the original rocking chick with ATTITUDE on this show, and I've got the singing skills to match! This girl, is going ALL the way to the top!” /

 

Reggie says: “Captain Retro KNEW what he was signing up for when he entered this game; I just don't think he planned on what he would do, in case his superpowers ever abandoned him, after he fulfilled his purpose! My personal guess? I guess he thought that he wouldn't even LAST as long as he did!” / Patrick says: “I know there's SOME word that describes the special skill I have! What is it?! What did Pearl call it?! Stam...in...a? Stamina?! That's it, I have stamina! How else could I have outlasted so many other contestants that have been physically and mentally better than me?! Simply because I had more STAMINA than they did! All RIGHT!!!! I found my special skill! I just hope it's enough to get me to the Final Three!” / Chameleon says: “Captain Retro is a nice enough dog, but he's just not the same as Dudley, not that he isn't NICE like Dudley can be! I think that as far as Captain Retro is concerned, it's all over except the shouting!” (End Confessional) As if on cue, Sniz comes over the intercom, and announces: “Congratulations, Final Six! For making it THIS far in the game, I am proud to announce that as of now, the Normal Class section of the Plane is no more! From this point on, you will ALL be winners, IF you can make it past the next challenge! You will have a surprise waiting for you when you land; but before we do, I'm going to announce the challenge we're going to do today! Today, we are traveling all the way to Pakistan, to travel the length of THEIR Karakoram Highway, to navigate a stretch of the ancient Silk Road!” And General Barracuda looks at Sniz weirdly! (Confessional) Sniz looks at his writer's notes, and he says: “YOU try coming up with 46 different locations for a game show! It was either, Pakistan Karakoram Challenge, or some weird, India Bollywood challenge involving singing, acting, and art!” (End Confessional)

 

Sniz announces: “That's all for now! Sniz, out!” Patrick asks: “The Karakoram Highway? What in the WORLD is that?!” Captain Retro groans, and he says: “Curse my ability to know SO much about Geography! The Karakoram Highway, or National Highway N-35, is in its entirety; an 800 mile LONG stretch of road that runs from the Xinjiang Uyghar Autonomous Region of China to Hasan Abdal in the Punjab region of Pakistan! Now, seeing as how we're going to Pakistan, I'm ASSUMING that means we won't be GOING through China; and that WOULD make sense since we've already BEEN through a part of China already! But even so, the Karakoram Highway in Pakistan is STILL 551 miles in length! And what do you think we will be expected to do?!” Suzie asks: “Singing?!” Captain Retro: “Technically, we WILL have to sing eventually, but what ELSE will we have to do?!” Reggie asks: “Running?” Captain Retro says: “Bingo!” Patrick asks: “We're playing BINGO?!” Captain Retro seriously shouts: “WANDA!!!!” Wanda wearily says: “UH!!!!” And she poofs up a Frying Pan of Doom, and HITS Patrick with it! Captain Retro says: “THANK you for that!” Chameleon says: “I could have just TURNED into a Frying Pan of Doom, if you wanted me to.” Captain Retro says: “Not at the risk of YOUR current game plan! Yes, we will be running! And it will be a LOT of running! And with the possible exception of Reggie Rocket, MORE running than any of us will do in the REST of our lives!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “Let's get one thing straight RIGHT now; without my superpowers, I don't RUN! And I especially don't RUN a whole 551 miles across the country of PAKISTAN! Don't get me wrong, I've always wanted to SEE that country, just not like THAT!” / Reggie fist-pumps, and says: “YES!!!! We're going to be doing a running challenge! And if there's anything I'm good at, BESIDES pretty much every extreme sport and athletic event I've ever tried, it's running! I am SO going to own this challenge!” / Patrick says: “A running challenge? This might be a good time to use some of that STAMINA, that I've been saving! It certainly couldn't hurt!” / Chameleon says: “You know, it would be pretty easy for me to turn myself into some kind of a rocket, and win that way! But I don't want to do that, because that's not the right way to win. Dudley wouldn't want to win that way, so I'm going to play fair and square, no matter how hard it is!” / Suzie incredulously asks: “Running?! Do I LOOK like a female version of Jesse Owens?! Because I'm not! My shoes, and my body, are NOT made for running! Do you know what I'm saying?!” / Skipper says: “Since the challenge is going to be running, the only REAL threat to me winning this challenge, is probably Reggie Rocket! If it looks like she's doing too well, I might have to resort to Plan B! B, for BRIBERY!!!! If I can entice Reggie Rocket with a good enough offer, she's BOUND to take me to the Final Three with her! It's certainly WORTH a shot!” (End Confessional)

 

The Plane lands right on the Chinese, Pakistan border, and the contestants see the LONG, paved highway stretched before them! Patrick is completely awe-struck, and he says: “That's a lot of ROAD!” Suzie asks: “You don't expect us to run down that entire length of HIGHWAY; do you?!” Sniz says: “Of course not! At least, not on foot! For this challenge, you will get to ride on HORSES!!!!” Skipper asks: “Horses?!” Sniz asks: “Do you REALLY want to perform this challenge on FOOT?!” Skipper nervously says: “No, sir. I'm so sorry, sir!” Sniz says: “Yes, you will be riding horses for The Long Run! See how I worked the title of the episode in here?! Anyways, your horses can all run 40 miles per hour, give or take a few miles of course; so it SHOULD take you about 14.5 hours to complete this challenge, give or take a few minutes, of course! And don't worry, if you DON'T finish this challenge within 24 hours, we are LEGALLY required to find and rescue you!” Chameleon says: “Well, that's a load off MY mind!” Sniz says: “Of course, running isn't the ONLY thing that will be involved in this challenge!” Captain Retro asks: “You mean there's MORE?!” Sniz says: “If this challenge only involved RUNNING; all we would have to show people at home is about 45 minutes of running, with about 15 minutes worth of Confessionals cut in-between the running! Not a very interesting challenge! Since you will be traveling along the historic path that WAS the Silk Road; there will also be a memory based challenge! And no, it WON'T involve silk!” Reggie asks: “What will it involve, then?” Sniz says: “The Silk Road was only the title of the historic path-way, but much MORE than Silk traveled on this road! For instance, spices were often traded between the Ancient Chinese Empires, and the Ancient Greece/Roman Empires of way back when!”

 

Skipper says: “I can certainly handle MY fair share of spices!” Sniz says: “Actually, you won't! That's part of the SURPRISE we've planned for you! For getting all the way to the Final Six; THIS season, we have decided to make the Final Six, into PAIRS! What that entails, is that each of you will be paired up with a partner for the REST of the Game! So, if you want to win, the two of you will BOTH have to make it past these final, few challenges!” Patrick asks: “So, who will our partner be?” Sniz says: “A significant, former contestant that was eliminated PREVIOUSLY in this challenge! And even better, each of these former contestants say that they have a GREAT love interest, for who they are getting paired with!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “Love interest?! It certainly couldn't be Marlene! At least, not for me! But then, who ELSE could POSSIBLY be interested in me?!” / Suzie fist-pumps, and says: “YES!!!! I am SO going to get Otto Rocket, and an instant PASS into the Winner's Circle!” / Skipper says: “Karma is FINALLY smiling down on me! Marlene, we are SO going to be reunited, and it will FEEL so good!” / Patrick says: “After all this time, I'm FINALLY going to get to see Pearl again!” / Reggie says: “Well Rocko, it looks like we're going to get to the end together, after all!” / Chameleon says: “It will certainly make the game more interesting, that's for sure; getting to play WITH Dudley! I'm excited about the prospect already!” (End Confessional) A helicopter, lugging six human-sized boxes, suddenly drops the boxes down in front of the contestants! Sniz says: “Contestants, meet your partners for the rest of the game! Or, until BOTH of you are eliminated! Whichever comes first! Chameleon, please welcome back DUDLEY!!!!” And Dudley busts out of his box, STILL not wearing a shirt! Chameleon lovingly says: “Dudley! You've returned!” They hug each other, and Dudley says: “Of course I did! You didn't think you were going to finish this WITHOUT me, did you?!” Sniz says: “Patrick, Pearl is BACK in the game!” Pearl opens her box, and she lovingly approaches Patrick! Pearl says: “Well, this wasn't how I pictured getting into the Final Five; but whatever works, I'll take it!” Patrick says: “I sure am glad we're here together! I feel a LOT better about my chances for winning, now!” Sniz says: “Reggie, you get the rock-steady, ROCKO!!!!” Rocko jumps out of his box, and lands in Reggie's arms! Rocko says: “Reggie, you've gotten so much stronger!” Reggie says: “I FEEL a lot stronger, after everything I've been through!” Sniz says: “Captain Retro, you get Kitty Katswell!” A box opens, but instead of Kitty Katswell, it's KATIE, the Girl from Ipanema!!!! Sniz asks: “KATIE?! What are you doing back here?! Kitty was supposed to come back!” Looking lovingly at Captain Retro, Katie says: “Believe me, I didn't come back for YOU, Sniz! I came back for Captain Retro!” Captain Retro shockingly asks: “ME?! Why me?!” Katie says: “Because you're charming, you're honest, you're humble. And most importantly, you've made me laugh this season!”

 

(Confessional) Captain Retro shockingly asks: “I made Katie LAUGH?! What did I do this season that was so funny in HER mind?!” / Sniz sourly asks: “Katie will come back to this show for Captain Retro, but not for ME?! What does HE have that I don't?!” / Katie says: “If you must know why I came back, I like a guy with superpowers! Of course, that's not the only reason I came back! I hope that my appearance in this show will generate enough interest for a spin-off series! Or a the very least, we'll eventually get a FOURTH season out of this whole deal!” (End Confessional) Sniz, miffed at Katie nuzzling Captain Retro, but deciding to RISE above it, continues with the presentation! Sniz says: “Skipper, you get Marlene!” Marlene leaps out of her box, and she says: “Yes! I am BACK in the game!!!! Nothing is going to stop US now!” Skipper says: “Pretty funny; especially considering the LAST time we had that attitude, you technically got eliminated!” Marlene says: “A mere fluke; completely unavoidable! It will NOT happen again! Right, Skipper!” Skipper lovingly says: “I should think not, seeing as how we're the audience favorites to WIN this whole thing!” (Confessional) Marlene says: “When I got eliminated thanks to Bulma, I honestly thought that was it for me! But General Barracuda and Fondue decided to take pity on some of the contestants who got eliminated thanks to Bulma, and he offered six of us a second chance! How could any of us pass THAT up?! I mean, as long as I get to be with Skipper, that's all that matters to ME!” / Skipper says: “I had a lot of self-doubt as to whether I actually COULD win this season or not! But with Marlene back by my side; I don't have any doubts any longer! We are going to win TOGETHER, like we were always MEANT to win!” (End Confessional)

 

Sniz says: “Last, but DEFINITELY not LEAST; Suzie gets Otto Rocket!!!!” But instead of Otto Rocket busting though the BOX; everyone is horrified and SHOCKED, to see Angelica Pickles BREAK her way through the BOX!!!! Suzie screams: “AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!” Captain Retro is even shocked, and he yells: “Oh, NO!!!!” Sniz asks: “Katie coming back unexpected?! THAT I can let slide!!!! You are most DEFINITELY NOT WELCOME BACK in this competition; and THAT is FINAL!!!!” Angelica evilly says: “My LAWYER, Jonathan, would BEG to differ! The contracts that were signed, SPECIFICALLY said; that whoever was in the BOXES, would get to come BACK into the challenge; NOT who was actually PICKED to come back!” Katie sighs, and says: “It's true. I paid Kitty Katswell $44,000 so I could take her place in the box! But what did YOU have to do to take Otto Rocket's place?!” Angelica flashes a SLASHER smile, and she says: “It's so SIMPLE!!!! I simply HIT Otto Rocket on the head with a Frying Pan of DOOM, just so I could take his PLACE in returning BACK to the competition!!!!” Suzie angrily cries: “You are SO UTTERLY DESPICABLE!!!!” Angelica genuinely says: “Thank you! But that's not the WORST news that YOU'RE going to hear today!!!! I am going to be YOUR partner for the REST of the ENTIRE GAME!!!! And you are going to play, and you are going to fight, and you are most CERTAINLY going to get ME to the FINAL THREE!!!!” Suzie defiantly says: “NEVER!!!! I refuse to do ANYTHING for you as it violates my PERSONAL religion!” Patrick asks: “Which religion would THAT be?! Suzie seriously says: “ANY religion, which prohibits me from having to WORK with an INSANE, DERANGED, potentially MURDEROUS psychopath!!!!” Angelica again flashes a slasher smile, and she says: “Oh, I think YOU'RE going to do whatever I WANT you to do! Or, I can make a simple call to my GOOD friend, Verminious J. SNAPTRAP!!!!” Chameleon says: “But he's in JAIL!!!!” Angelica flashes her creepy, slasher smile, and she says: “NOT anymore!!!! After finding out that Bulma was the one who FRAMED Snaptrap for putting the microchip on Reggie Rocket, he got a clean PARDON, and he is FREE again! And unless you want Verminious J. Snaptrap to BLOW OTTO ROCKET to KINGDOM COME in TRILLION TINY PIECES, you better WORK with ME!!!!” Suzie disgustedly asks: “Are there no LOWS you won't sink to?! What about the CONSEQUENCES?!!!” Angelica scoffs, and she says: “Consequences, shmonsequences; as long as I'm rich! That's all I care about! Oh, and don't THINK that you can try to get me out on a medical related medical evacuation THIS time around; or I'll call Snaptrap ANYWAYS!!!! Besides, you should KNOW by NOW, that I'm just going to keep coming back, and coming BACK, and coming BACK, AND COMING BACK; UNTIL I WIN MY GOD-DAMNED MONEY; so you MIGHT as WELL JUST LET ME WIN THIS SEASON, if you don't WANT OTTO'S PRECIOUS LIFE to be OVER!!!!” Sniz screams: “ANGELICA!!!! LANGUAGE!!!!” And Angelica suddenly calms down!

 

Sniz says: “Now, I know that this season IS PG-Rated, so a LITTLE bit of colorful language is DEFINITELY okay, but certainly NOT in the matter that YOU were USING it!” Angelica angrily asks: “Are YOU THREATENING me?!” General Barracuda angrily replies: “So WHAT if he IS?!!!” Angelica spits in General Barracuda's face, and she says: “NOBODY threatens ANGELICA PICKLES!!!! I'll say whatever I GOD-DAMN WANT TO!!!!” Sniz seriously says: “ANGELICA!!!! If you USE that language ONE more TIME, I will be FORCED to invoke the PERMANENT censor status on that SNOTTY little MOUTH of yours!” Angelica defiantly says: “I'd like to see you GOD-DAMN TRY!!!! This little mouth of mine is going to keep on flapping, so why don't you take that empty threat of yours, and SHOVE it up your (BLEEP!!!!) WHAT?!!! I SAID (BLEEP!!!!) It's just (BLEEP!!!!) OH MY GOD!!!! I can't BELIEVE you could be such a (BLEEP!!!!) I come from (BLEEP!!!!) AMERICA!!!! Do you think you can (BLEEP!!!!) STOP ME?!!! I KNOW Donald (BLEEP!!!!) TRUMP, and HE KNOWS PEOPLE, who can PUT you into (BLEEP!!!!) Guantanamo without so much as a (BLEEP!!!!) TRIAL!!!! So, you better remove this (BLEEP!!!!) Censor away from MY (BLEEP!!!!) mouth, or you will be going to (Extra LONG BLEEP!!!!)” Patrick says: “OOH!!!! Censored SWEARING!!!! Suddenly, she's a lot more ATTRACTIVE!!!!” And Pearl SLAPS Patrick in the face! Patrick says: “WHAT?!!! I didn't say she was MORE attractive than YOU, did I?!” Katie sighs, and says: “SUCH infantile behavior!” Captain Retro sighs, and he lovingly says: “I'm sure glad that YOU are a lot better behaved than THAT!” Katie asks: “Is there something on your mind, Captain Retro?” Captain Retro sighs, and he says: “I'm thinking about how pretty and smart you are, and how GREAT we can be together!” /

 

Genre: Michael Jackson. Sub-genre: Paul McCartney. Song: “The Girl is Mine.” Sung by: Captain Retro and Sniz! / Captain Retro: “Every night she walks right in my dreams, since I met her from the start. I'm so proud I am the only one, who is special in her heart. The girl is mine. The doggone girl is mine. I know she's mine, because the doggone girl is mine.” Sniz: “I don't understand the way you think, saying that she's yours, not mine. Sending roses and your silly dreams; really just a waste of time. Because she's mine. The doggone girl is mine! Don't waste your time, because the doggone girl is mine! I love you more than he. Take you anywhere!” Captain Retro: “But I love you endlessly! Loving we will share!” Captain Retro and Sniz: “So come and go with me, two on town.” Captain Retro: “But we both cannot have her! So it's, one or the other! And one day you'll discover, that she's my girl forever and ever!” Sniz: “I don't build your hopes to be let down, cause I really feel it's time.” Captain Retro: “Did she tell you I'm the one for her? Because she said, I blow her mind! The girl is mine. The doggone girl is mine! Don't waste your time, because the doggone girl is mine!” Sniz and Captain Retro: “She's mine. She's mine. No, no, no, she's mine. The girl is mine. The girl is mine! The girl is mine, the girl is mine! Mine, mine. Yep, she's mine. Mine, mine. The girl is mine. Mine, mine. Yep, she's mine. Mine, mine.” Captain Retro: “Don't waste your time, because the doggone girl is mine! Oh, the girl is mine!” Sniz: “Captain Retro, we're not going to fight about this, okay?” Captain Retro: “Sniz, I think you know that I'm really a lover, not a fighter!” Sniz: “I've heard it all before, Captain Retro! She told me that I'm her forever lover, you know; don't you remember?” Captain Retro: “Well, after loving me, she said she couldn't love another.” Sniz: “Is that what she said?” Captain Retro: “Yes, she said that, you keep dreaming!” Sniz and Captain Retro: “I don't believe it! Mine, mine. No, the girl is mine. Mine, mine. No, mine! She's mine, mine, mine, mine, mine! Mine, mine, mine.” Captain Retro: “Because the girl is mine!” /

 

And the epic song ends! Katie says: “I can break this dead-lock! I am officially with Captain Retro! I'm sorry, but you're just going to have to learn to accept disappointments, Sniz!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “Wow! That's the first girl I've ever met, who I managed to impress with my SINGING, more than I was able to with my superpowers! Maybe I don't need them to win in this challenge, after all! Although, I now have to get rid of Angelica Pickles AGAIN!!!! Why can't that girl ever just STAY eliminated?!” / Katie says: “The main reason I like Captain Retro? He likes me for WHO I am! Not WHAT I am!!!! I mean...oh, you know what I mean!” / In the cockpit, Sniz screams: “AUGH!!!!!!!!!!” And he REPEATEDLY SLAMS his head against the Steel Door! General Barracuda says: “Come on! Stop that! Don't do that! You're hurting yourself! You're DENTING the VALUABLE steel DOOR?!!!” But Sniz doesn't answer General Barracuda, so General Barracuda awkwardly says: “Well, it looks like Sniz is in the middle of a potentially unhealthy, nervous breakdown; so we're going to take a quick commercial break, try to calm Sniz down and make him better! And HOPEFULLY, by the time we come back, there will still BE a host to host the REST of this episode, on Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” Sniz screams: “WHY, KATIE?!!! WHY?!!!” General Barracuda nervously says: “I sure hope we CAN Calm him down!” (End Confessional) / (Commercial Break) / I'll just break here and stop, for now! Enough said, for now! /

[4EverGreen]

I'm going to take this unusual amount of free time that I have, to finish my latest episode, so here is the second, and final part of “The Long Run!” I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it! / The contestants, now with their partners by their side, are surprised to see General Barracuda come back out of the plane, with a VERY dented steel door! General Barracuda sighs, and he says: “Well, I've got two good news, and one bad news. The first good news is, Sniz is going to be fine. Fondue is tending to him in the plane, and he just needs some time to COOL down! The bad news is, the very VALUABLE Steel Door to the cock-pit has been broken AGAIN, so I'm afraid that the Cock-pit Confessional is now OFF limits for the rest of the game!” Dudley says: “That's not such a big deal. We didn't use the Cock-pit Confessional much THIS season anyways!” General Barracuda says: “The second good news is, until Sniz gets better, he has officially put ME in charge of this CHALLENGE for THIS episode! Or, until he gets better! Whichever comes first!” Angelica screams: “IX-NAY on the ONSPIRACY-CAY!!!! You're obviously going to RIG this challenge UNFAIRLY AGAINST MY FAVOR, in order to try to RIG me OUT of this GAME SHOW!!!! That has got to be (BLEEP!!!!) ILLEGAL!!!!”

General Barracuda leers at Angelica, and he says: “Keep it up, TWERP!!!! I DARE YOU!!!! I've got a can of MACE in the plane that I've been DYING to try out, and Sniz has authorized me to SPRAY you in the face, if you continue to make SNOTTY little OUTBURSTS like that!” Angelica thinks about it, and she bitterly says: “FINE!!!! I don't NEED to swear in order to win this game show ANYWAYS!!!!” Reggie seriously says: “GOOD!!!! Because I can be FRIENDS with someone whose parents never HUGGED her enough, but I can't be FRIENDS with a VILE swearer!!!!” Angelica yells: “WHAT?!!!” Reggie seriously says: “Do you know the ONLY reason I didn't vote you OFF in the Brazil challenge EARLIER this season, like EVERYONE else did, even though I had EVERY single good reason to DO so?! It's because I CHOSE to take the MORAL HIGH ROAD!!!! I CHOSE to give you the BENEFIT of the doubt! I CHOSE to BELIEVE that DEEP DOWN, there WAS a GOOD person WITHIN all the OUTSIDE nastiness! But the WAY you keep BEHAVING, makes me begin to WISH that I had done what EVERYONE else had done, and VOTED you off then and THERE! Now ASK yourself, do you REALLY want to live life without a single FRIEND in the world?! Because UNLESS you call off the attack on MY brother, you can KISS your ONLY friend good-bye!!!!” Angelica scoffs, and she says: “COME ON!!!! LIKE YOU WOULD ACTUALLY DO IT?! You're REGGIE ROCKET!!!! YOU are FRIENDS with EVERYBODY!!!!” But Angelica LOOKS at REGGIE'S face, and Angelica can see that Reggie's face looks QUITE sour!!!! Angelica actually GETS an epiphany, and she says: “My GOD!!!! You actually WOULD; wouldn't you?!!!” Reggie's facial expression doesn't change, and Angelica sighs, she picks up her cell phone, pushes an instant call-back button, and she says: “Snaptrap, it's me. I'm going to have to call the whole plan off, you can THANK Reggie Rocket for that! Don't worry, I'll still give you SOME money for your trouble, once I WIN!!!! All right, thanks for being SO understanding! Bye!” And Angelica hangs up the phone! Reggie smiles, and she asks: “Now tell me, was that REALLY so hard to actually DO?!” (Confessional) Angelica SCREAMS: “AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! PTOOEY!!!! PTOOEY!!!! PTOOEY!!!! PTOOEY!!!! I HATE this WHOLE FREAKING THING!!!! HATE!! HATE!! HATE!! HATE!! HATE!! HATE!!!! Why does being FRIENDS with Reggie Rocket have to be SO FREAKING DIFFICULT?!!! At least nobody knows that SNAPTRAP and I have officially decided to become the NEXT power couple on EARTH!!!! They'd NEVER let me live down actually DATING a RAT!!!! Wait!!!! Did I just say that out LOUD?!!!” (Camera briefly cuts) Angelica struggles with the camera, and she says: “I want the D.V.D. BACK!!!! Give me the D.V.D!!!! How do you OPEN this FREAKING THING?!!!” / Reggie says: “It looks like I found Angelica's WEAK spot! As it turns out, it's ME!!!! She can't stand the thought of LOSING her only friend!!!! This might give me an unusual edge in helping to win TODAY'S challenge!” (End Confessional)

 

General Barracuda says: “Now, if we are all THOROUGHLY finished with wasting MY precious time, perhaps you would like to actually HEAR what the challenge is, NOW!!!!” Marlene says: “You definitely don't need to worry about me in THAT department! I know better than to waste YOUR precious time!” General Barracuda says: “In any case, each of you will be given a horse to ride down the 551 mile stretch of Karakoram Highway in Pakistan. You will be riding from the Chinese-Pakistan border, to Hasan Abdal in the Punjab Region of Pakistan! Along the way, you will pass through 12 towns, and you will see a Spice stop that will ONLY sell one type of spice! And it is crucial to stop at EVERY Spice stop you see on the Highway, because once you get to Hasan Abdal, you will need to use all the spices you've gathered along the way, to make the PERFECT Hindu Stew! Now, here's where the MEMORY part of the challenge comes in! You must add in EACH spice in the EXACT order that you first OBTAINED it! Then, and only THEN; will the Hindu Stew taste JUST right! And I will KNOW if it's right, because I will be the one TASTING it! And TRUST me, I have VERY sensitive taste buds! Whoever gets the Hindu Stew recipe EXACTLY right, will win the V.I.P. Lounge treatment, with their personal partner! Everyone else will be at the MERCY of tonight's Elimination Ceremony vote-off, provided nothing BAD happens to ANY of the contestants in the interim; like, say a song that was originally performed by HEART that could spell impending doom for a certain snot-nosed, ungrateful girl who has been given FAR more chances to straighten up than she DESERVES!!!!” Angelica screams: “Are YOU implying SOMETHING?!!!” General Barracuda scoffs: “Like YOU'RE the only girl HERE?!!! I could have LITERALY meant ANY girl in this CHALLENGE!!!!”

 

General Barracuda begins to walk toward the plane, but then he turns back around, and he says: “But in this case, I totally WAS referring specifically to YOU!!!!” (Confessional) Angelica says: “Note to self, when I WIN the $44.44 million; I will BUY out that STUPID fish's CONTRACT, and have HIM sent to FREAKING GUANTANAMO!!!! They are ALWAYS looking for a few new inmates down THERE for SLAVE labor!!” / General Barracuda sighs, and he says: “Angelica's got NOTHING!!!! In the first place, even if I DID get locked away somewhere, I wouldn't be locked in THERE with everybody else; everybody else would be locked up with ME!!!! See how that works? And in the second place, my contract CAN'T be bought out; I have seniority! So Angelica Pickles is out of LUCK!!!! She better HOPE that NOBODY feels like singing a song ORIGINALLY performed by Heart today, or she's going to be in a lot of TROUBLE!!!!” (End Confessional) General Barracuda pulls a sitar out of the plane, he strums a few chords, and he says: “In order, the towns you will visit are as follows; Sust, Gulmit, Aliabad, Danyor, Chilas, Dasu, Pattan, Besham, Battagram, Mansehra, Abbottabad, and Haripur! And trust me; we DID our research, those are ALL real town names, so you BETTER remember them in case you ever go on Jeopardy! On your MARKS, get SET... (strikes a LOUD chord)...GO!!!!” And everyone begins riding on their horses, until they hear a FAMILIAR sound! (Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!) Angelica yells: “COME ON!!!! How many STUPID songs could this show possibly KNOW?!!!” General Barracuda yells: “If you don't SHUT IT, I'll make YOU, and ONLY you, sing a FREAKING Justin BIEBER song!!!!” Angelica SCREAMS: “NOT THAT!!!! NOT THAT!!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!” General Barracuda seriously says: “Than I SUGGEST you straighten your ACT up, and RIDE right! Because THIS song, is for EVERYONE to sing!” Angelica mutters: “Just so long as it's not a song originally performed by Heart, then it's fine!” General Barracuda seriously says: “You'll HEAR what it is soon enough! A rocking song by The Eagles, to prepare you for The Long Run!!!! EMPHASIS on The Long Run!!!!” Captain Retro says: “Don't worry! I know EXACTLY what you mean, General Barracuda!” / Genre: Rock. Sub-genre: The Eagles. Song: “The Long Run.” Sung by: Cast! /

 

Captain Retro: “I used to hurry a lot, I used to worry a lot, I used to stay out until the break of day.” Marlene: “Oh, that didn't get it, it was high time I quit it, I just couldn't carry on that way.” Katie, to Captain Retro: “Oh, I did some damage, I know it's true. Didn't know I was so lonely, until I found you!” Skipper, to Marlene: “You can go the distance; we'll find out in the long run.” Cast: “In the long run!” Chameleon, to Dudley: “We can handle some resistance, if our love is a strong one.” Cast: “Is a strong one, in the long run.” Dudley: “People talking about us, they got nothing else to do. When it all comes down, we will still come through in the long run.” Rocko: “Ooh, I want to tell you, it's a long run.” Suzie, to Angelica: “You know, I don't understand, why you don't treat yourself better; do the crazy things that you do.” Reggie, to Angelica: “Cause all the debutantes in Houston, baby, couldn't hold a candle to you.” Sniz, about Katie: “Did you do it for love? Did you do it for money? Did you do it for spite? Did you think that you had to, honey?” Angelica: “Who is gonna make it? We'll find out in the long run!” Cast: “In the long run.” Patrick, to Pearl: “I know that we can take it, if our love is a strong one.” Cast: “Is a strong one, in the long run!” Pearl, to Patrick: “Well, we're kind of scared, but you know that we ain't shaking. Kinda bent, but we ain't breaking in the long run!” Captain Retro: “Ooh, I want to tell you, it's a long run.” Cast: “In the long run!” Katie: “Ooh, I'm going to tell you, it's a long run.” Cast: “In the long run!” (Guitar solo finish, and the epic song ends!) / The contestants and their partners begin to arrive in Sust, one by one; with Patrick and Pearl arriving first! Patrick says: “I can't believe it; we're the first ones here!” Pearl says: “Let's not waste our time here, let's find out our spice!” Patrick says: “All right! Uh, Pearl?” Pearl asks: “Yes, Patrick?” Patrick says: “Why don't YOU write down which spice we collect at each stop? Just to be on the safe side?” Pearl says: “Sure thing, Patrick! No need to take any unnecessary risks if we don't have to!” (Confessional) Patrick says: “At this point in the game, I can't afford to leave anything to chance! If I want to get to the Final Three, I will HAVE to play with a full deck! It's the only way I'll be able to get there!” / Pearl says: “All the other contestants might not have noticed, but watching Patrick's performance this season, I've SEEN him WATCH as a bunch of other contestants have fallen by the wayside! He's LEARNED from their mistakes! He's a lot more crafty than people will give him credit for!”

 

(End Confessional) Pearl looks at the Spice Stop, and she writes down, and says: “Here, we are collecting some nutmeg!” Patrick picks up the pouch, pays for it, and he says: “Onward, to Gulmit!” They leave, then Captain Retro and Katie arrive! Katie says: “Patrick is surprisingly FAST today, isn't he?!” Captain Retro says: “I think he's FINALLY realized his special skill; he's got a lot of STAMINA!!!! While everyone else has been FIRING on all four cylinders this whole season; Patrick has been holding BACK this entire time! The reason he wants to perform at his full potential now, is because he KNOWS this will mean the difference between losing, and WINNING up to $44.44 million!” Katie asks: “So, why are we not HURRYING to collect this spice?!” Captain Retro says: “Look, winning WOULD be nice! But it would be FAR more important to make SURE that Angelica Pickles, LOSES!!!! Besides, do you REALLY want to imagine what would HAPPEN if Angelica got a hold of $44.44 million?!” Katie shudders, and she says: “Nothing GOOD; I can tell you THAT much!” Captain Retro says: “That's why it will be up to US; to STALL Angelica for TIME!!!!” Katie asks: “What are you saying?!” Captain Retro sighs and says: “We're going to have to make the ultimate sacrifice to get Angelica Pickles out once and for all; we're going to have to play the Tigress defense! In other words, the only way to ENSURE the villain's elimination, is to eliminate ourselves WITH the villain!” Katie sighs, and she says: “I wish it didn't have to be like this!” Captain Retro says: “This is PRECISELY the way it SHOULD be! We're ORIGINAL Characters! All the other contestants, they're the REAL Nicktoons, they are the REAL stars of this show! And with the EXCEPTION of Angelica, all of them DESERVE a fair chance at WINNING this game show! We can't take that away from them!” Katie smiles, and she says: “You know, I AM worth $44 million all on my own! Get together with me, and you'll never have to worry about ANYTHING ever again!” Captain Retro says: “Let's date for a while before we decide on anything! I don't want to make a hasty decision and rush into something like I did the last time! If I go into a relationship, I want to do it the RIGHT way this time!” (Confessional) Katie says: “You got to admit, Captain Retro has matured a LOT this season! He came onto this show with NOTHING on his mind but promoting himself, and falling in love with a pretty girl! Now, he's putting the needs of everyone else, above his own; and he's not rushing into a relationship with another girl anymore. You got to admit, that takes a LOT of maturity!” / Captain Retro says: “I simply wouldn't be ABLE to call myself a superhero, if I didn't do EVERYTHING in my power, to ENSURE that Angelica Pickles DIDN'T make it to the Final Five! Angelica is FINALLY going to learn the consequences, of just what a NASTY, NAUGHTY, VILE life-style is going to GET her, and they are NOT going to be PRETTY!” (End Confessional) Angelica and Suzie arrive, and Angelica screams: “Out of my WAY, you filthy MUTT!!!! You are obstructing MY path to WINNING!!!!”

 

Captain Retro says: “First of all, I have an ACTUAL name; it's Matthew Muttson!!!! If you're going to THREATEN me, do it PROPERLY!!!! Second of all, you're NUTS if you think I'm going to let you get anywhere NEAR the Final Five!” Suzie says: “People have been TRYING to tell her that for THREE seasons!!!! You think that YOU'RE going to be any different?!” Captain Retro says: “Fortunately, I don't see ANY reason as to WHY you have to share Angelica's fate! Go ahead and get the spice, and finish the challenge by yourself! I'll take the heat from General Barracuda LATER!!!!” Suzie genuinely says: “Thank you; Captain Retro! You're a GOOD dog...person!!!! Angelica, you're NOT!!!!” Angelica screams: “OH, SHUT UP!!!!” Suzie grabs her nutmeg, pays for it, and takes off! Angelica asks: “Just WHAT do you hope to GAIN out of ALL of this?!” Captain Retro says: “Hopefully, YOU finally REALIZING just what a HORRIBLE person you TRULY are, and FINALLY realizing that you will NEVER get what you REALLY want in life, unless you change your AWFUL attitude!!!!” Angelica says: “I can think of SEVERAL people in history who NEVER changed their attitudes, who were VERY successful in getting what they WANTED, without EVER changing their attitudes one IOTA!!!!” Captain Retro asks: “Are you talking about Atilla the Hun; Genghis Khan; Ivan the Terrible; King George III; Napolean Bonaparte; Adolf Hitler; Joseph Stalin; Saddam Hussein; AND Osama Bin Laden?! You want to know what they ALL have in common?! They were all HORRIBLE people who committed HORRIBLE crimes against humanity; and they are all officially HATED by the majority of people ALIVE!!!!”

 

Angelica gasps, and she asks: “How DID you KNOW?!!!” Captain Retro gasps, and he says: “I read your AURA!!!! And if I read your AURA; that must mean that you're EVIL enough for me to use my SUPERPOWERS AGAINST you!!!!” Angelica nervously says: “There's no NEED to do that?! Can't we TALK about this RATIONALLY?! I can give you ANYTHING!!!! MONEY, POWER, FAVORS!!!! I can get MARLENE to come running BACK to YOU!!!!” Captain Retro shakes his head, and he says: “You just don't GET how REAL people actually THINK, do you, Angelica?!!! You honestly think that EVERY single person can be BOUGHT off by SOMETHING?!!!” Angelica screams: “EVERYONE has a PRICE!!!! Just name it, and I'll PAY it!!!! There's got to be SOMETHING that YOU want!!!!” Captain Retro says: “There are a LOT of things that I might want; but they ALL pale in comparison to what I NEED!!!!” Angelica asks: “WHAT?! Just WHAT could you possibly NEED?!!!” Captain Retro sighs, and he says: “Something that cannot be bought, and something that you would NEVER offer me, Angelica! Your THIRD, and FINAL elimination, that WILL occur once I give you a taste of something that has ALWAYS resulted in YOUR elimination this SEASON!!!!” / Genre: Hard Rock. Sub-genre: Heart (the band). Song: “What About Love?” Sung by: Captain Retro, Katie, Reggie, and Rocko! / Katie, to Captain Retro: “I've been lonely, I've been waiting for you! I'm pretending, and that's all I can do!” Captain Retro, to Angelica: “The love I'm sending, ain't making it through to your heart! You've been hiding, never letting it show! Always trying to keep it under control! You got it down, and you're well on the way to the top! But there's something that you forgot!” (Reggie and Rocko arrive, and sing back-up!) Captain Retro, Katie, Reggie, and Rocko: “What about love?! Don't you want someone to care about you? What about love?! Don't let it slip away! What about love?!” Reggie, to Rocko: “I only want to share it with you!” Reggie, to Angelica: “You might need it someday! I can't tell you what you're feeling inside! I can't sell you, what you don't want to buy! Something's missing, and you got to look back on your life! You know something here just ain't right!” Captain Retro, Katie, Reggie, and Rocko: “What about love?! Don't you want someone to care about you? What about love?! Don't let it slip away! What about love?!” Katie, to Captain Retro: “I only want to share it with you!” (Guitar solo!) Captain Retro, Katie, Reggie, and Rocko: “What about love?! Don't you want someone to care about you? What about love?! Don't let it slip away! What about love?!” Reggie, to Angelica: “I only want to share it with you! Oh!” Captain Retro: “LOVE!!!! What about; what about LOVE?! LOVE!!!! OH!!!! What about LOVE?! LOVE! LOVE!!!! What about; what about LOVE?!!!” / And the Epic Song Ends!!!! / Angelica claps sarcastically, and she says: “Bravo. Magnificent performance, really! Almost moved me to tears; but you're FORGETTING one CRUCIAL detail about your whole PLAN!!!!”

 

Captain Retro asks: “REALLY?! What would THAT be?!” Angelica screams: “It's the FINAL SIX!!!! The final SIX you FREAKING MORON!!!! I've ALREADY MADE IT!!!! I'm ALREADY HERE!!!! NOTHING BAD can POSSIBLY HAPPEN to ANGELICA FREAKING PICKLES NOW!!!! I am the most POPULAR NICKTOON EVER!! I am NOT LOSING to no STUPID MONGREL; and I'm certainly NOT LOSING to NO BRAIN-DEAD PATRICK!!!!” Captain Retro says: “Words have CONSEQUENCES, ANGELICA!!!! Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein found this out the HARD way, and YOU will find out the hard way to, UNLESS you REPENT!!!!” Angelica screams: “I will NEVER REPENT!!!! I don't feel SORRY for anything I've DONE!!!! I don't even BELIEVE in the thing that you call a SOUL, or KARMA, or some 'HIGHER FORCE' guiding MY every ACTION!!!! Nothing is going to stop THIS BEAUTY from getting what SHE deserves! And there is NOTHING, in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE, that could POSSIBLY happen, to de-rail my PLANS--!!!!” (KLONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!) And from out of nowhere, a GIANT Piano falls out of the sky, and LANDS directly on TOP of ANGELICA!!!! Angelica wearily screams: “Oh, COME ON!!!! How does THAT even make any SENSE?!!!” / On a distant computer somewhere, Hayden says: “YOO-HOO!!!! Look at ME!!!! I'm ordering a 44 ton Grand PIANO to be delivered to me through DRONE power!!!! YOO-HOO!!!! Look at ME!!!! I'm pushing the WRONG button!!!!” / Angelica screams: “HAYDEN!!!!” Captain Retro says: “I TOLD you so!!!!” Angelica says: “Well, I STILL have enough time to rest, recuperate, and heal, before ANYONE--!!” General Barracuda's voice comes over the communicator watches, and he says: “And it's OVER!!!! It's ALL over!!!! Patrick and Pearl got here FIRST, and they have presented ALL of the spices to me in the CORRECT order!!!!”

 

Captain Retro says: “They are nutmeg, Cayenne Pepper, cinnamon, cloves, Saffron, turmeric, ginger, Chili Powder, Curry Powder, Five-Spice Powder, paprika, and salt!” General Barracuda says: “They are nutmeg, Cayenne Pepper, cinnamon, cloves, Saffron, turmeric, ginger, Chili Powder, Curry Powder, Five-Spice Powder, paprika, and salt!!!!” Angelica screams: “WHAT?!!! How could they POSSIBLY get ALL the spices collected THAT FAST, and GET to Hasan Abdal SO soon?!!!” Captain Retro says: “I can actually ANSWER that one FOR you!!!! Have you FORGOTTEN about my superpower of SUPER speed?!!! As soon as I REALIZED that I could USE my superpowers AGAIN; I simply USED my super speed, to SPEED Patrick and Pearl to EACH of their locations, get them the SPICE they needed, AND get them to Hasan Abdal, ALL before we EVEN sang the song that SEALED your doom!!!!” Angelica screams: “But WHY Patrick?! Why not secure the WIN for YOURSELF?!!!” Captain Retro shakes his head, and he says: “You just STILL don't GET it, do you?! Winning isn't EVERYTHING!!!! Money is NOT the most important thing in the world to everyone, and I wanted to PROVE to YOU, that EVERYONE else is FAR more deserving to WIN this Game Show than YOU are, Angelica!!!! EVEN, a 'Brain-dead' Patrick!!!!” Angelica groans, and she sourly says: “Oh, who wants to win this STUPID game show ANYWAYS?!!! I DID!!! I DID!!!! I NEVER GET to WIN this FREAKING GAME SHOW!!!! NEVER!!!! NEVER!!!! NEVER!!!! I NEVER want to be on this STUPID game show AGAIN for as LONG as I live!!!! And GOOD LUCK getting any GOOD ratings WITHOUT me!!!!” Rocko asks: “And just HOW are YOU going to explain THIS injury to your parents?!” Angelica says: “I don't NEED to!!!!” And over-head, an evilly-powered jet appears over-head, and Snaptrap descends, holding onto a retractable rope ladder! Snaptrap says: “Angelica, your Black Knight in SHINING armor is here, to take you AWAY from all this common riff-raff!” Katie weirdly asks: “YOU, and SNAPTRAP, TOGETHER?!!!” Reggie says: “Actually, I approve!!!!” Rocko asks: “You DO?!!!” Reggie says: “If it honestly makes HER happy, why ruin HER personal happiness?!” Angelica says: “He STILL treats me far better than everyone ELSE on this show ever DID, THAT'S for sure!!!!” Captain Retro says: “It's STILL a better love story than TWILIGHT!!!!” Snaptrap grabs Angelica, and he says: “Pull us up!!!! And they get pulled back up to the plane, and Snaptrap says: “We're out of here! Later, losers!!!!” And the plane zooms away!!!! Katie sighs and says: “So much for THAT challenge!!!!” Captain Retro says: “And so much for us being in this game show. With Angelica gone, my superpowers are gone; AGAIN!!!! I can't get us back home!” Katie says: “Luckily for us, I have an alternate means of transportation!!!!”

 

And sure enough, a GOLDEN, PRIVATE LEER JET comes touching down close to them! Rocko simply says: “Nice jet!!!!” Katie says: “It's Solar/Wind/Clean Energy Power and all MINE, you know! We're going back to Hollywood, California in GLAMOROUS fashion!!!!” Captain Retro lovingly says: “Katie, you are OFFICIALLY wonderful!!!!” Katie picks Captain Retro up, and she says: “It's time for someone ELSE, to carry you up the plane stairs!” Captain Retro says: “I like where THIS is going! Reggie, Rocko, tell Sniz we are OFFICIALLY out of the competition! There's no need to eliminate ANYONE else today!” Rocko says: “No problem, mate! We'll see you at the FINALE!!!!” And Katie and Captain Retro board the PRIVATE LEER JET, and it takes off! / It is later, and the plane is in transit, everyone is in the Elimination Ceremony room, and Sniz is feeling a LOT better about everything! Sniz says: “Sorry about my little, 'freak-out', earlier; there were some 'things' that I had to get out of my system!” Fondue rolls his eyes, and says: “If that was a 'little' freak-out, imagine what the BIG ones must look like!” Sniz says: “Normally, this is the part where we hold an Elimination Ceremony, but thanks to Angelica Pickles LEAVING us for Snaptrap, and Captain Retro and Katie VOLUNTEERING themselves to LEAVE the game show today, this time, you ALL get a free bag of popcorn!!!!” And all the remaining contestants cheer! Sniz says: “Patrick and Pearl, you get the V.I.P. Lounge treatment this time. You deserve it!!!!” Patrick giddily says: “I WON a CHALLENGE!!!! Dreams DO come TRUE!!!!” Sniz says: “As of right now, you are ALL in the Final Five!!!! And what a Final Five it is!!!! The unlikely duo from Petropolis; Chameleon and Dudley! The soul singer with a lot of heart and soul, Suzie Carmichael! And don't worry, we'll get Otto Rocket to join with you soon enough! The come-back duo from Bikini Bottom, Patrick and Pearl! The duo who NEVER stays Eliminated; Skipper and Marlene! And representing Team Retro; Reggie and Rocko!!!!”

 

General Barracuda says: “Pretty exciting, all things considered!” Sniz says: “As of right now, you and your partner are guaranteed a pay-off of at LEAST $40 million in cold hard cash, but I'm SURE that you are all aiming for the $44.44 million! So prepare yourselves, because the challenges ahead, are the final ones you will have to face!” (Confessional) Chameleon and Dudley are together! Chameleon says: “That last challenge went by too quickly. But I guess it's understandable; no way we could allow ANGELICA the win!!!!” Dudley says: “I think it's really COOL what Captain Retro did for ALL of us! From one dog to another, I salute you!” / Suzie says: “Being all alone as I enter the Final Five? Tragic. But at the very least, I can now relax with the knowledge, that Angelica will NEVER be able to bother me again on this SHOW ever! I mean, she LITERALLY can't! I've legally won the right to put a RESTRAINING order on Angelica Pickles, which states that she must be kept a minimum of fifty feet AWAY from ME and Otto Rocket at all times!” / Skipper and Marlene are together! Skipper is baffled, and he says: “Patrick actually WON a challenge?! How is THAT even possible?! If we're not careful, we could wind up losing to HIM!” Marlene shrugs, and she says: “Who knows how we lost to Patrick? Besides; to be fair, we DID kind of deserve it, seeing as how I played with Captain Retro's heart earlier this season. Besides, we are GUARANTEED to win some money! Up to at LEAST $40 million! And hopefully, all the way up to $44.44 million!” / Patrick and Pearl are together! Pearl asks: “Doesn't it feel WONDERFUL to win a challenge, Patrick?!” Patrick says: “Sure does, Pearl! And now that we've WON a challenge, and I'm actually IN the Final Five now, we might as well try to win the whole thing!” Pearl asks: “Why not?! Anything is possible!” / Reggie and Rocko are together! Rocko asks: “Reggie, do you feel awkward about the whole Angelica thing?” Reggie says: “It's kind of hard NOT to! But hopefully, Snaptrap will end up being a GOOD thing for Angelica! Seeing as how he's probably going to be the only guy that ANGELICA is EVER going to get, she better be GOOD to him; he is ALL she is going to get!” Rocko gets an epiphany, and he says: “You know what kind of CHILDREN they could have together?! They could LITERALLY raise a pack of RUGRATS!!!!” Reggie laughs uncontrollably, and she says: “That was SURE clever!!!! Sorry, Angelica! I KNOW it's not funny from YOUR perspective! Totally uncool, on my part! I get urges to, you know.” (End Confessional) In the cock-pit, Sniz says: “We are now down to the Final Five! We've only got four more challenges after this! Find out where we are going to, by tuning in on the next exciting episode of Total Cartoon Global Cruise! Who will YOU root for?!” / Epilogue: A montage of Captain Retro's performance is shown, as he presents a ROCKING presentation of a hit song, by Huey Lewis and the News! /

 

Genre: Hard Rock. Sub-genre: Huey Lewis and the News. Song: “The Power of Love.” Sung by: Captain Retro! / Captain Retro says: “This is your retro rocking Captain; Captain Retro speaking! Presenting ALL of the great retro rocking hit songs of the past, TODAY!!!! Here's one that is very special to me, it was a #1 hit song the day I was born, August 27, 1985; here's my rocking rendition of The Power of Love, originally by Huey Lewis and the News!!!! The power of love is a curious thing, make a one man weep, make another man sing! Change a hawk to a little white dove! More than a feeling, that's the power of love! Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream! Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream! Make a bad one good, make a wrong one right! Power of love that keeps you home at night! You don't need money, don't take fame! Don't need no credit card to ride this train! It's strong and it's sudden, and it's cruel sometimes, but it might just save your life! That's the power of love! That's the power of love! First time you feel it, it might make you sad! Next time you feel it; it might make you mad! But you'll be glad, baby, when you've found; that's the power, makes the world go around! And it don't take money, don't take fame! Don't need no credit card to ride this train! It's strong and it's sudden; it can be cruel sometimes! But it might just save your life! They say that all in love is fair! Yeah, but you don't care! But you'll know what to do! Do! When it gets hold of you; and with a little help from above! You feel the power of love! You feel the power of love! Can you feel it?! Hmm! (Guitar solo) It don't take money, and it don't take fame! Don't need no credit card to ride this train! Tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel! You won't feel nothing until you feel! You feel the power, just feel the power of love! That's the power, that's the power of love! You feel the power of love! You feel the power of love! Feel the power of love!” / And the epic song ends! /

 

Episode Notes: The Final Six all get partners for the rest of the game. Angelica returns, trying to take the place of Otto Rocket, only to get ELIMINATED for the THIRD and FINAL time in the very SAME episode! It's revealed that she's now in a relationship with fellow villain, Verminious J. Snaptrap. Captain Retro, and Katie, the Girl from Ipanema, now officially enter into relationship status with this episode, the fact of which does NOT make Sniz happy! Featured songs in this episode: “Don't Stop; The Girl is Mine; The Long Run” (also the episode title); “What About Love?”; and “The Power of Love.” Angelica's curse this season (where after hearing a song originally performed by Heart, something BAD happens to her), proves to be alive and well, as Angelica Pickles is inexplicably HIT by a falling Grand Piano, which causes her elimination! Dudley, Marlene, Pearl, and Rocko return for the rest of the game, or until they are eliminated; whichever comes first! Captain Retro and Katie volunteer themselves for elimination with this episode. / Personal Notes: I probably COULD'VE made this episode longer if I WANTED to; but I'm really eager to finish this season, and I feel as though I've said everything I wanted to say with Captain Retro. In a way, Captain Retro was sort of a built-in cheat sheet for this season! I didn't want to write myself, or any of the characters into a corner this season; which is why I decided to insert my own Original Character (or, for the more practical, my own alter-ego persona); so that he would be able to get all the other characters out of any tight spots that would otherwise be too hard to get out of. Admittedly, one of the toughest things for me to come to grips with this season; is just because this show is my own take on the “Total Drama” cartoon series, and Captain Retro is my own creation, NOT everybody wants the “Total Cartoon” series to be ALL about me, nor do they want to see me interfere with the established canon relationships of anyone else. In a way, this season came with the unexpected benefit, of me having to rise above my own ego, and do what is in the best interest for this show, and not what would interest ME the most! In a way, perhaps this exercise HAS been a good thing for me. It taught me how to rise above my own ego and self-interests, and to become a better writer in the process! Hopefully, now that the competition is down to just canon characters, the final few episodes this season will be a much smoother writing and reading process! / That's my episode idea THIS time!  Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

Well, this took FAR longer than it should have, but I'm finally ready to show you the next episode. Or at least, the first part of it. This episode is SO long, I LEGITIMATELY have to break it into two parts to make it easier for my audiences to read! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! / Instead of the usual show opening, fancy C.G.I. words float down, which say: "TOTAL CARTOON GLOBAL CRUISE" make a fancy C.G.I. entrance, followed by the words: "Performance Review!" Clips from previous episodes are shown! /

Zarbon scoffs and says: “So SUE me! It was JUST a suggestion!” / Bulma says: “He could be ruining your game plan right about now!” / Dudley says: “What else were we supposed to do?! It's not like we had time to form an investigation team!” / Suzie is riled, and says: “How DARE Zarbon try to trick me like THAT?! Well, fool me once, shame on YOU! But you’re NOT fooling me a second time! I’m wise to your stunts NOW, Zarbon and Bulma! You are NEVER going to get me to distrust Otto’s loyalty to ME ever again! And if you’re watching this Marlene, I’m sorry that I voted you off. I honestly didn’t know. I hope we can be friends after this!” / Sniz starts singing: “She's gone, she's gone! Oh, why?! Oh, why?! I better learn how to face it! She's gone; she's gone! Oh, why?! Oh, why?! I'd pay the devil to replace her! She's gone; she's gone! Oh, why?! What went wrong?!” / General Barracuda says: “I just LOVE the smell of Napalm in the morning! It SMELLS like VICTORY!” / Sniz sings: “I want to know what love is! I want you to show me! I want to feel what love is! I know you can SHOW me!” / Skipper mournfully says: “Don’t tell me that I have to FLY with Wally?! Suzie, TRADE with me!” / Skipper asks: “Why does Suzie HATE me? Did I do something AWFUL to her in a past life-time?! Whatever it was, I’m SORRY already!” / Captain Retro yells: “My FUR!!!! You shot my FUR!!!!” / Zarbon honestly asks: “How was I supposed to know that Captain Retro COULD dodge a surprise attack that FAST?!!!” / Captain Retro asks: “Did you just PUNCH out Cthulu?!” / Bulma screams: “You are not meeting ANYBODY on ANY field of BATTLE! I NEED YOU HERE!!!!” / Captain Retro says: “I use the PERFECT decoy! If Zarbon ever tries to start a fight with ME; I step out and let CHAMELEON turn INTO me, and fight Zarbon in my place!” / Skipper mockingly says: “Not everyone has some nefarious plan up their SLEEVES, Skipper!” / Skipper yells: “I NEED to WIN THIS SEASON!!!! I HAVE to AVENGE MARLENE!!!!” / General Barracuda chuckles and says: “Landed this plane like a BOSS!!!!” / Bulma screams: “You keep your BIG mouth SHUT!!!! Or do you WANT to get eliminated the way Gonard and Po were ELIMINATED?!!!” / Rocko says: “Try to eliminate me, and it will LEAD to your OWN downfall!” / Zarbon seriously says: “This deal just keeps getting WORSE all the time!” / Zarbon gasps and asks: “I'm...hurting people?” /

Patrick says: “Bulma is SMILING!!!! That's NEVER a good SIGN!!!!” / Bulma screams: “GO JUMP IN THE OCEAN!!!!” / Zarbon says: “Bulma, I'm tired of hurting people. It's NOTHING but trouble!” / Zarbon seriously says: “You cannot be SERIOUS!” / Reggie scoffs and says: “I'd trust anyone ELSE before I'd trust YOU; Mr. CRAZY!!!!” / Skipper seriously says: “Listen, you LIZARD; let’s get ONE thing straight! With the exception of MARLENE, I take orders from just ONE person/penguin; ME!!!!” Patrick chuckles and says: “It’s a wonder you’re still alive!” / Dudley says: “Note to self: throwing darts is NOT one of my better skills!” / Bulma asks: “What is THIS?! Bargain discount day for challenges?!” / Bulma seriously says: “Spin and get 100. I want to WATCH you!” /

Zarbon trembles and says: “I have no CHOICE! My GODLY beauty is all I've got!!!!” / Captain Retro says: “NO, Zarbon don't TRUST her!!!!” / Skipper seriously says: “This is a VERY important matter! No matter what, we CAN’T allow either Zarbon or Bulma to WIN an immunity today!” / Bulma chuckles, and says: “Bette Davis; eat your HEART out!” / Suzie says: “My worst nightmare; is losing my voice, and being caught LIP-SYNCING on stage!” / Reggie says: “My worst nightmare; having to be in an eating competition, eating UNHEALTHY nacho chips!” / Suzie scoffs, and says: “You know, you COULD give it a SHOT, and, PRETEND to be NICE!!!!” / Reggie says: “I am SO ready to be DONE with Bulma!” / Bulma looks into a giant TV monitor, and she sees that her face looks incredibly OLD and WRINKLED, her hair is gray, and she is WEARING the type of clothes she was WEARING when she was nine years old; Bulma screams: “Oh my LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” / Captain Retro nervously says: “Bees…why did it HAVE to be BEES?!” / Bulma says: “Of COURSE I framed Snaptrap! DUH!!!! I’m the one with ALL the BRAINS in this challenge! Now I’m going to use them to MY benefit!” /

Zarbon happily says: “You CAME for me, Bulma! I KNEW that you TRULY loved me!” Bulma looks at him slowly, and with UTTER sincerity, she charmingly says: “Oh, Zarbon, if only somebody truly DID love you; YOU STUPID LITTLE FOOL!!!!” / Zarbon yells: “I LOVED YOU!!!! I TRUSTED YOU!!!! I gave you EVERYTHING, and now I find out that you TREATED it like DIRT?!!! WHY?!!!” / Bulma scoffs and says: “I’m not some Marvel Comics Book Villain Character!!!! Do you think I would be TELLING you all this if I thought there was a CHANCE you could CONVINCE anybody?!!! I told everybody about ALL of your dirty secrets thirty minutes ago!!!!” / Bulma says: “But I SAW you fight Zarbon!!!!” Chameleon asks: “Or DID you?!!!” And Chameleon TRANSFORMS into the exact likeness of Captain Retro! / Reggie says: “Who am I voting for? Well, Bulma is a gigantic PAIN in the REAR!!!! But I made a promise, and I’m voting off Zarbon.” / A bandaged Zarbon, nervously says: “Bulma is BLUFFING! She HAS to be BLUFFING!!!! Everyone can’t TRULY hate me! I’ve still got a CHANCE to win this! RIGHT?!” / Reggie gasps and says: “So Snaptrap truly DIDN’T try to eliminate me!” Captain Retro says: “No, but BULMA did! And if I don’t stop her soon, Bulma will SURELY try to eliminate you AGAIN, BEFORE you reach the Final Five!” / Anti-Timmy creepily says: “You have the PRECIOUS!!!! You STOLE it from us! Return our PRECIOUS, or we HATES you! We HATES you FOREVER!!!!” / Skipper says: “Lousy excuse for a CLIP show, called it!” Patrick says: “Ignore him!” / Bulma rolls her eyes, and says: “MAN!!!! I HATE walking!” / Patrick says: “Bulma is definitely a brat, but Angelica was LEGITIMATELY dangerous! She HAD to be eliminated early! Otherwise, I don’t think the REST of us would BE here right now!” / Bulma sarcastically says: “I WISH you actually HAD a CHANCE against me!” Captain Retro seriously says: “Be careful what you WISH for, you just might GET it!” Bulma seriously says: “I usually do!” / Bulma angrily says: “I HATE it when I get BURNED!” / Bulma scoffs, and says: “Her real name isn't BLONDA! It's RIO!” / Bulma seriously says: “Skipper is going DOWN! Skipper is going DOWN! Skipper is going DOWN!!!!” / Bulma says: “Loyalty doesn’t BUY you a slot in the Final Five! Sheer BRAIN power does!” / The Man says: “I AM GERO!!!! The GREAT and POWERFUL!!!! Who are YOU?! WHO ARE YOU?!!!” /

Bulma says: “I live beautifully and intelligently, in West City with my Mom and Dad!” / Captain Retro gets mad, and he says: “You know what STINKS about YOU, Bulma?! You HAVE the BRAINS, you HAVE the MONEY, you have GOOD looks, you even have FAME, and you're STILL miserable!!!!” Bulma sputters and she asks: “You THINK that you're HAPPIER than ME?!!!” Captain Retro seriously says: “Miss, Ma'am, Ms., whichever title you prefer, I KNOW that I am HAPPIER than you!” /

Captain Retro sighs and says: “Sad to say; sometimes, evil is PETTY; and I don't mean Tom Petty!” / Captain Retro says: “I expected MORE from you, Bulma, but this is just SAD!!!! How stupid do you think I am?!” / Bulma FINALLY loses it, and SCREAMS: “Why aren't my plans WORKING?!!!” / Bulma desperately yells: “Captain Retro, SAVE me!!!!” / Bulma asks: “How is everything OKAY?!” Captain Retro says: “I'm saying that everything is going to BE okay!” / Patrick says: “Even in a situation like this, the other contestants STILL feel the need to insult me! Can't I EVER get a BREAK this season?!” / Anti-Timmy says: “Where's a cliff, where's a CLIFF?! Where's the Grand Canyon when we NEED it?!” / Bulma sourly says: “I've REALLY got to learn how to stop talking when I'm only SLIGHTLY behind!” / Bulma nervously says: “Come ON! What is this about ANYWAYS?! Is it because I convinced Sniz to THROW you off the plane FIRST as a JOKE?! Is it because I convinced Guano and Snaptrap to convince the rest of Team Doom to vote YOU off FIRST?! Does this have to do with the fact that I had Kaput and Taotie torture you and TORMENT you with hideous scientific experiments until you grew all UGLY and DEFORMED?! Is this because I MADE you eat all those votes for Oonski and fit you with an Electronic Collar?! Is this because I tried to shoot you back in the Congo?! Is it because I tied you up into a pretzel shape, and left you to STARVE in the Cargo Hold?!” Anti-Timmy GROWLS angrily, as if to indicate that it's ALL of those things! /

Bulma angrily says: “I'm just TOTALLY NOT helping my case at all, am I?! Why can't I STOP talking when I'm only SLIGHTLY behind?!” / Otto Rocket THROWS his ring TOWARDS the edge of the mesa, and Anti-Timmy screams: “MY PRECIOUS!!!!” And Anti-Timmy quickly RUNS out for it, leaps, and catches it, but he is COMPLETELY oblivious that he is FALLING towards CHAMELEON, who has JUST managed to transform into a volcano, FULL of LAVA, and he HITS the lava with a SICKENING SPLASH as he starts to get BOILED away into NOTHINGNESS! Cosmo yells: “WANDA!!!! I think we're going to need another TIMMY!!!!” Wanda says: “You've been waiting seventeen YEARS, just to say that LINE, haven't you?!” Cosmo coyly says: “MAYBE!!!!” / Bulma pleads: “I could FINALLY be a QUEEN!!!!” Rocko exasperated, says: “You're NOT fit to be Queen of...NAME a PLACE!!!!” Bulma asks: “Barstow, California?” Randolph says: “ESPECIALLY Barstow, California!” / Captain Retro says: “Losing to Skipper? Tragic; but I'll settle for Bulma Briefs going down!” / Captain Retro says: “Bulma Briefs, you have been a HORRIBLE contestant this season, and you've caused nothing but AGONY and GRIEF to our former contestants!” / Bulma screams: “WHY COULDN'T I JUST LEARN TO KEEP MY BIG, GIGANTIC, FAT MOUTH SHUT?!!!” / Dr. Gero angrily says: “Do NOT arouse the WRATH of the GREAT and POWERFUL Gero! I SAID, 'Come back TOMORROW!'” / Captain Retro PULLS the Green Curtain to REVEAL a tall, OLD, Sinister, fairly UGLY man! Dr. Gero, through a microphone and operating controls, says: “Do YOU presume to CRITICIZE the GREAT Gero?! You UNGRATEFUL creature, should think yourself LUCKY, that I'm giving you an audience TOMORROW, instead of TWENTY years from NOW!!!!” Dr. Gero looks back and says: “OH!!!!” Dr. Gero speaks into the microphone and says: “The GREAT Gero HAS spoken!” Dr. Gero panics and says: “OH!!!!” And he pulls the curtain shut! Dr. Gero shouts: “Pay no attention to the MAN behind the CURTAIN!!!! The GREATEST Gero has SPOKEN!!!!” / Bulma screams: “NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Bulma cries tears, and she says: “It's all been a JOKE!!!! My entire RUN this season has been just a CRUEL, SICK Joke!” / Patrick says; “Uh, I'm Patrick; and my special skill is...well; I'm still HERE, aren't I?!” /

Captain Retro says: “At this point, the only chance I could POSSIBLY have in the next challenge, is if we ended up doing some weird, India Bollywood challenge; where the object was to sing, and act, while creating some really pretty art!” / Sniz says: “YOU try coming up with 46 different locations for a game show! It was either, Pakistan Karakoram Challenge, or some weird, India Bollywood challenge involving singing, acting, and art!” / Reggie asks: “Running?” Captain Retro says: “Bingo!” Patrick asks: “We're playing BINGO?!” Captain Retro seriously shouts: “WANDA!!!!” Wanda wearily says: “UH!!!!” And she poofs up a Frying Pan of Doom, and HITS Patrick with it! / Everyone is horrified and SHOCKED, to see Angelica Pickles BREAK her way through the BOX!!!! Suzie screams: “AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!” Captain Retro is even shocked, and he yells: “Oh, NO!!!!” / Angelica says: “You are going to play, and you are going to fight, and you are most CERTAINLY going to get ME to the FINAL THREE!!!!” Suzie defiantly says: “NEVER!!!! I refuse to do ANYTHING for you as it violates my PERSONAL religion!” Patrick asks: “Which religion would THAT be?! Suzie seriously says: “ANY religion, which prohibits me from having to WORK with an INSANE, DERANGED, potentially MURDEROUS psychopath!!!!” / Angelica says: “Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich.” / Angelica angrily asks: “Are YOU THREATENING me?!” General Barracuda angrily replies: “So WHAT if he IS?!!!” / Katie says: “The main reason I like Captain Retro? He likes me for WHO I am! Not WHAT I am!!!! I mean...oh, you know what I mean!” / Angelica scoffs, and she says: “COME ON!!!! LIKE YOU WOULD ACTUALLY DO IT?! You're REGGIE ROCKET!!!! YOU are FRIENDS with EVERYBODY!!!!” But Angelica LOOKS at REGGIE'S face, and Angelica can see that Reggie's face looks QUITE sour!!!! Angelica actually GETS an epiphany, and she says: “My GOD!!!! You actually WOULD; wouldn't you?!!!” /

Captain Retro says: “First of all, I have an ACTUAL name; it's Matthew Muttson!!!! If you're going to THREATEN me, do it PROPERLY!!!! Second of all, you're NUTS if you think I'm going to let you get anywhere NEAR the Final Five!” / Angelica screams: “OH, SHUT UP!!!!” / Angelica screams: “EVERYONE has a PRICE!!!! Just name it, and I'll PAY it!!!! There's got to be SOMETHING that YOU want!!!!” Captain Retro says: “There are a LOT of things that I might want; but they ALL pale in comparison to what I NEED!!!!” / Angelica screams: “It's the FINAL SIX!!!! The final SIX you FREAKING MORON!!!! I've ALREADY MADE IT!!!! I'm ALREADY HERE!!!! NOTHING BAD can POSSIBLY HAPPEN to ANGELICA FREAKING PICKLES NOW!!!! I am the most POPULAR NICKTOON EVER!! I am NOT LOSING to no STUPID MONGREL; and I'm certainly NOT LOSING to NO BRAIN-DEAD PATRICK!!!!” / Angelica sourly says: “Oh, who wants to win this STUPID game show ANYWAYS?!!! I DID!!! I DID!!!! I NEVER GET to WIN this FREAKING GAME SHOW!!!! NEVER!!!! NEVER!!!! NEVER!!!! I NEVER want to be on this STUPID game show AGAIN for as LONG as I live!!!! And GOOD LUCK getting any GOOD ratings WITHOUT me!!!!” / The clips finally end, and the words "TOTAL CARTOON GLOBAL CRUISE" make a fancy exit off-screen! / “Performance Review: Total Cartoon Global Cruise's Greatest Hits” /

The episode opens up properly, and this time, Eliza and Darwin are wearing FANCY Hollywood clothes, in a FANCY Hollywood, California theater! Eliza says: “Welcome to a very special Performance Review! Today, we are coming to you ALMOST live, from Hollywood, California; where the long-awaited finale of Total Cartoon Global Cruise is set to take place in just four more episodes!” And the in-theater audience loudly cheers at the announcement! Darwin says: “It's taken us much longer than we thought it ever would, but we are finally ready to present our Final Performance Review of the season, by playing to you the twenty of the GREATEST hit songs that have EVER been sung, on this show!” Eliza says: “And while we do that, we will also be interviewing the contestants who have been eliminated since our LAST Performance Review! Wally the Rocket Monkey!” Darwin says: “A recorded interview with Rocko, the Wallaby!” Eliza says: “A recorded interview with Dudley, the T.U.F.F. Puppy!” Darwin says: “Zarbon, the Narcissian!” Eliza says: “The highly controversial Bulma Briefs!” And the audience LOUDLY boos at THAT statement! Darwin says: “All right, get it out of your system!” Eliza says: “Angelica Pickles, with Snaptrap!” Darwin says: “And last, but CERTAINLY not least, Captain Retro!” Eliza says: “And with us as always, our panel of previously eliminated contestants!” Buhdeuce says: “Haggis, I hear they've got some NEW guy voicing Scrooge McDuck now! What's his name?” Haggis says: “David Tennant. I think he used to be in Doctor Who; or something like that.”

Darwin says: “Our first guest tonight, is Wally, the Rocket Monkey!” Eliza says: “Allying himself with Captain Retro early on in the game, proved to be a move that provided him with a great friendship that endured through thick and thin!” Darwin says: “Always ready to lend a hand, Wally proved that no matter how hard things got, he would always be there for his friends in the end.” Eliza says: “He had a battle of self-doubt, when his actions caused Marlene to be voted out.” Darwin says: “But he redeemed himself by PUNCHING Zarbon in the face GOOD, before deciding to eliminate himself, as part of Captain Retro's plan to keep everyone else safe!” Eliza says: “Now, from a long, long, time ago from a galaxy far, far away—WHOOPS!!!! I'm thinking of something ELSE there! In any case, here's WALLY!!!!” And Wally zooms in on a jet-pack, and hovers himself down to a seat on the stage! Wally says: “I'll be honest with you; I definitely amazed even MYSELF on this game show! Who would have thought that a Rocket Monkey like ME could have EVER made it as far as I did?!” Darwin says: “You should be proud of yourself! You certainly proved more capable than your show EVER hinted that you could be!” Wally says: “I just needed a show where I could show off my TRUE talents and strengths! Now that I've been on this show, I think people will finally respect me for the hero I can TRULY be!” Eliza asks: “Wally, are you BADLY hurt by the way that Zarbon and Bulma targeted YOU for elimination?”

Wally says: “Physically? No. Emotionally? Very much, so! Of course, I was HARDLY the only one! I'm just glad that I was able to show ZARBON what I truly thought of his partnership with BULMA before I left the game! That, and being able to participate in MANY of the great hit songs that were sung throughout this season!” Darwin says: “Speaking of, it's time to start presenting the Top 20 hit songs that have been played on Total Cartoon Global Cruise throughout this season, played in chronological order!” Eliza says: “We will start with the LEAST recent hit song, and finish with the MOST recent hit song!” Darwin says: “We hope you enjoy watching this retrospective as we did compiling it!” /

Note: All songs are presented in their original format. / #20: Genre: The Rolling Stones. Song: "Start Me Up!" Sung by: Cast. / Captain Retro: "If you start me up; If you start me up I'll never stop. If you start me up; If you start me up I'll never stop." Marlene: "I've been running hot, you got me ticking, gonna blow my top." Spongebob: "If you start me up, if you start me up I'll never stop, never stop, never, never, never, never!" Cast, minus Otto and Heffer: "You make a grown man cry, you make a grown man cry, you make a grown man cry!" Craig: "Spread out the oil, the gasoline!" Sanjay: "I walk smooth, ride in a mean, mean machine; start it up!" Jimmy: "If you start it up, kick on the starter give it all you got, you got, you got." Dib: "I can't compete with the riders in the other heats." Dog: "If you rough it up, if you like it you can slide it up, slide it up, slide it up, slide it up!" Cast, minus Otto and Heffer: "Don't make a grown man cry, don't make a grown man cry, don't make a grown man cry." Heffer, drowzily: "My eyes dilate, my lips go green." Twister: "My hands are greasy, she's a mean, mean machine, start it up." Wally: "If you start me up, give it all you got; You got to never, never, never, never stop!" (In the back of the plane) Timmy Turner: "Never, you'll never eliminate me!" Roger: "Slide it up, slide it up, never stop, never stop." Patty: "Never, never!" Cast, minus Otto and Heffer: "You make a grown man cry, you make a grown man cry, you make a grown man cry." Zarbon: "Ride like the wind at double speed, I'll take you places that you've never, never seen! YEAH!!!!" Judy: "Start it up!" Reggie and Rocko: "Love the day when we will never stop, never stop, never stop, never stop!" Tigress: "Tough me up!" Po: "Never stop, never stop, never stop, never stop!" Suzie, to Otto: "You, you, don't lose your chance to shine!" Otto sighs and sings: "No, no! This whole thing really SUCKS!!!! Oh, oh! This whole thing REALLY sucks!!!!" And the song ends! /

Eliza says: “Impressive! You actually managed to shine even WAY back in the first episode of this season during that song! Not an easy feat with the large amount of contestants we started off with!” Wally says: “I certainly wouldn't have been able to predict that I was going to be able to endure as long as I did way back THEN!!!! Once season 4 comes along, I hope I can make a good showing in THAT season as well!” Darwin says: “One last question; who are you rooting for to win amongst the Final Five contestants?” Wally says: “It's got to be either Suzie or Reggie. They're the ONLY two members of Team Retro left!” Eliza says: “Thank you for your time. Please take a seat amongst your fellow contestants!” And using his jet-pack, Wally zooms over and settles down next to King Julien!” King Julien says: “Feel welcome to sit here! We primates have got to stick together!” Darwin says: “Our next contestant--!” A familiar voice says: “Yoo-hoo! Anybody MISS me?! Your one and only favorite BLONDA is here!!!!” And Blonda zooms in on a magical surf-board, wearing a yellow swim-suit and a FAKE bronze tan! Eliza groans, and says: “Blonda! Don't you have an ANIMATED show that NEEDS to be CANCELLED?!” Blonda says: “Nope! Been there, done that, FAR too many times to count! Besides, I thought you LIKED the unique perspective that I have to give on things!” Twister asks: “UNIQUE?! That's ONE way to put it!” Blonda says: “I would have been here SOONER; but some 'GENIUS'; and by 'genius', I mean that HORRIBLY stupid COSMO; accidentally sent me the WRONG directions to Hollywood, FLORIDA!!!!” Norbert says: “That WASN'T an ACCIDENT!!!! From what I heard, you WEREN'T wanted!” Blonda asks: “Not want--?! Well; this is...awkward! I was HOPING that it was merely due to some oversight!”

Darwin says: “Just for the record; I had NOTHING to do with that idea! I certainly bear no ill will to you, DESPITE all the times you threatened to REPLACE Eliza with Mila Kunis!” Eliza says: “Which, FOR the record; NEVER going to HAPPEN!!!!” Blonda says: “Too bad. Would've brought in more RATINGS in my opinion!” Treeflower rolls her eyes and says: “Like SHE would be the expert on what would bring in ratings!” Blonda says: “Look! I'm not here to cause trouble, nor do I wish to START any! I'm not an IDIOT like that brain-dead Angelica Pickles is! Can I at least STAY and watch?! And MAYBE comment if the need arises?!” Darwin says: “As long as you promise to keep it appropriate!” Blonda scoffs and says: “Don't confuse me with Angelica Pickles! I'm not a swearer like SHE is!” Eliza sighs, and says: “Fine! Just...take a seat BEFORE we change our minds!” And Blonda picks a seat next to Larry. Blonda says: “And just to let YOU know, I don't bear any ill will towards YOU or Spongebob, either! I was just trying to make the competition more interesting!” Larry says: “Well, the NEXT time you decide to make the competition more interesting, do it with some OTHER contestants!” Blonda scoffs, and says: “Like I'd EVER compete in this game show AGAIN!!!!” Darwin says: “Like I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted; our next contestant WOULD have been Rocko Wallaby; but thanks to the Final Six special deal; he got to go back and become a paired partner with Reggie Rocket!” Heffer says: “Go, Rocko! I believe in you, man!” Eliza says: “However, we WERE able to obtain a recorded interview with him before he had to go back! Here it is, right now!” / (Recorded earlier) Darwin says: “Rocko; how do you feel on being the only contestant in the history of this show, to have made the Top Ten contestants, competing on each season of this show, ALL three times?!” Rocko says: “Quite accomplished! And if it hadn't have been for the scheming of Zarbon and Bulma, I probably could have lasted a couple more challenges! Not that I'm complaining. I'm proud of the game I played in any case!” Eliza says: “You and Reggie have one of the most reliable relationships seen on this show! Do you believe that your support will help Reggie go all the way to the Final Five?!” Rocko says: “Not only that, but I believe she has the ability to WIN it all!” Darwin says: “Thank you for your time and support!” (End Interview) / Eliza says: “And now, it's time for our NEXT rocking song on our countdown! One that Rocko helped to participate in, and make a REALLY rocking hit for everyone to listen to! We hope you enjoy it!” /

#19: Genre: Pop Rock. Sub-Genre: San Francisco 1980's Pop Rock. Song: "We Built This City (On Rock and Roll!)" Sung by: Cast. / Cast: "We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll! We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll!!!!" (Instrumental solo) Captain Retro: "Say, 'you don't know me, or recognize my face!'" Guano: "Say, 'you don't care who goes to that kind of place!'" Sanjay: "Knee deep in the hoopla, sinking in your fight!" Craig: "Too many runaways eating up the night!" Skipper: "Marlene plays the Mamba, listen to the radio!" Stimpy: "Don't you remember? We built this city." Lil: "We built this city on rock and roll!" Cast: "We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll! Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll!" (Instrumental solo) Marlene: "Someone always playing corporation games. Who cares? They're always changing corporation names! We just want to dance here, someone stole the stage! They call us irresponsible, write us off the page!" Treeflower: "Marlene plays the Mamba, listen to the radio!" Rocko: "Don't you remember? We built this city!" Reggie: "We built this city on rock and ROLL!!!!" Cast: "We built this city, we built this city city on rock and roll! We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll!" (Guitar Solo) Judy: "It's just another Sunday." Patty: "In a tired old street." Snaptrap: "Police have got the choke hold, oh!" Kaput: "Then we just lost the beat!" Taotie: "Who counts the money, underneath the bar?!" Zarbon: "Who rides the wrecking ball in two rock guitars?!" Marlene: "Don't tell us you need us!" Captain Retro: "Cause we're the ship of fools!" Captain Retro and Marlene: "Looking for America, coming through your schools!" (Instrumental solo) Norbert: "Don't you remember? Remember, remember?" Daggett: "Marlene plays the Mamba!" Randolph: "Listen to the radio!" Dog: "Don't you remember? We built this city!" Spongebob: "We built this city on rock and roll!" Cast: "We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll! Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll! Built this city! (WOW!!!!) We built this city on rock and roll! Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll, OHHH!!!! They'll say that we built, we built this city on; say that we built, we built this city! Say that we built, we built this city on; say that we built, we built this city! Say that we built, we built this city on; say that we built, we built this city! Say that we built, we built this city on; say that we built, we built this city!" / And the epic song ends! /

Blonda asks: “Question! When will we get to the songs that include ME in them?!” Darwin seriously says: “Let me put it this way; we'll get to them only IF and/or WHEN we get to them! Is that FINE with YOU?!” Blonda groans, and says: “Oh, very well! So let's GET on with it already!” Eliza says: “Our next contestant would have been Dudley, but; like Rocko, he got to be a part of the Final Six Special Deal, and become a paired partner with Chameleon!” Keswick says: “He's got all the skills to help make Chameleon make it far! I'm certainly confidant about THAT much!” Darwin says: “But, like Rocko, we WERE able to obtain a recorded interview with him before he had to go back! Here it is, right now!” / (Recorded earlier) Eliza says: “Dudley, you've been very kind and generous throughout your career, as well as this show. Most notably, your relationship with Chameleon. Why do you think the two of you have connected in the way that you have?” Dudley says: “While I certainly have never lacked for friends, I think the reason I wanted to reach out to him, was mostly due to sympathy and empathy to his dilemma. I can't stand seeing someone BE without any friends! I think that he just needed a positive influence in his life, to show that he COULD be good, and could have a LOT of friends if he used his abilities for good instead of bad! And with my help, Chameleon has done a lot of good throughout this season, and I just know that he will continue to do good in the future!” Darwin says: “Speaking of good; do you believe that Chameleon will do well in the upcoming Final Five challenges?” Dudley says: “Who can say? All I know is, that Keswick and I are already proud of him for coming as far as he has!” Eliza says: “Thank you for your time and honesty in this interview.” (End Interview) / Darwin says: “Dudley certainly has been no stranger to making some of our hit songs be as rocking as they are! And we've got an example for you RIGHT here, in the next rocking number of our count-down! We hope you enjoy it! /

#18: Genre: Punk Dance. Sub-Genre: The B-52's. Song: "Private Idaho!" Sung by: Cast, minus Treeflower and Harvey Beaks. / Captain Retro: "Whoo-hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, whoo-hoo, hoo, whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo! You're living in your own Private Idaho, living in your own Private Idaho!" Marlene: "Underground like a wild potato!" Stimpy: "Don't go on the patio!" Tigress: "Beware of the pool, blue bottomless pool." Po: "It leads you straight right through the gate that opens on the pool." Cast: "You're living in your own Private Idaho! You're living in your own Private Idaho!" Heffer: "Keep off the path, beware of the gate!" Monster: "Watch out for signs that say 'hidden driveways'!" Spongebob: "Don't let the chlorine in your eyes blind you to the awful surprise that's waiting for you at the bottom of the bottomless blue, blue, blue pool!" Norbert: "You're living in your own Private Idaho. Idaho." Phoebe: "You're out of control, the rivers that roll, you fell into the water and down to Idaho!" Keswick: "Get out of that state, get out of that state you're in!" Taotie: "You better beware!" Pearl and Lil: "You're living in your own Private Idaho! You're living in your own Private Idaho!" Twister: "Keep off the patio." Suzie: "Your own Private Idaho!" Stanley: "Keep off the path!" Angelica: "Your own Private Idaho!" Wally: "The lawn may be green but you better not be seen walking through the gate that leads you down!" Dudley: "Down to a pool fraught with danger!" Chameleon: "Is a pool full of strangers!" (Drum solo, several contestants fall off into the water). Reggie: "Hey! You're living in your own Private Idaho! Where do I go from here to a better state than this?" Rocko: "Well, don't be blind to the big surprise swimming round and round like the deadly hand of a radium clock!" Zarbon: "At the bottom of the pool!" (Guitar solo). Globitha: "I-I-I-daho, I-I-I-daho. Woah, oh, oh, woah, oh, oh, woah, oh, oh!" Girls: "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!" Robot: "Get out of that state! Get out of that state!" Cast: "You're living in your own Private Idaho!" Oonski: "Living in your own Private....Idaho!!!!" /

Daggett says: “That was sure fun! RIGHT; DAD?!!!” Oonski shouts: “How many times do I have to tell you that I DON'T want to TALK about it?!!!” Sway-Sway says: “Once would be nice! If you showed some COURTESY to your own fur and blood, we just MIGHT be willing to deliver bread to YOU, once in a while!” Oonski thinks about it, and says: “All right. Maybe I could be willing to take you out to buy some ice cream, one of these days.” Daggett says: “THANK YOU, DAD!!!!” Oonski seriously says: “DON'T push it!” Eliza says: “Our next eliminated contestant had a...complicated time on this show. Due in no small part to the fact that he was USED by Bulma Briefs, in order to further her OWN end game!” Darwin says: “Even so, he STILL gets tons of Internet fan-mail and fan-art, by people who are just ADORED by his Orlando Bloom type beauty!” Eliza says: “And now, having finally fully healed from his hospital stay; here is the Narcissian himself, Zarbon!!!!” And Zarbon walks on-stage with a VERY beautiful female, who looks like a SHORTER, more feminine, and just as pretty as he is, Narcissian alien! Blonda says: “Hold IT!!!! Who is THAT with him?!!!” Zarbon says: “This is my GIRLFRIEND; Zarasa!!!! You know; the GIRLFRIEND I MENTIONED to EVERYONE about a TRILLION times throughout this season!!!! I THOUGHT it would have been OBVIOUS!!!!” Back-stage, Angelica shouts: “You MEAN all that (BLEEP!!!!) he was TALKING about his girlfriend was TRUE?!!! Are THEY still CENSOR SWEARING me?!!! THAT'S (BLEEP!!!!)” Darwin says: “It seems we had some DOUBTERS among our contestants, as to the validity of whether or not you actually HAD a girlfriend, Zarbon! I think that THEY thought that you were JUST making her up!” Zarbon asks: “Why would I make something like that UP?!!! And F.Y.I., I'm probably LUCKY Bulma HURT me the way she did! Zarasa might have never come BACK to me otherwise!” Eliza says: “Let's take a peek back-stage and see what BULMA has to say about it!” /

A screen shows Angelica BUSY trying to shout every bad word she can THINK of, and SEVERAL that she MAKES up on the spot, only to be BLEEPED every single time, while Bulma's head is in her hands in utter despair, while Captain Retro and Katie are busy kissing each other. Bulma says: “I am DEAD!!!! I am DEAD!!!! I am dead, dead, DEAD!!!! They're going to ROAST me ALIVE out there! Zarbon's GIRLFRIEND is actually REAL?!!! Now I actually feel AWFUL about all the THINGS I said and DID to Zarbon, which I honestly NEVER thought I COULD feel about ANYONE; let alone Zarbon!!!!” Captain Retro shouts: “Would you CUT that non-sense OFF?!!!” Bulma says: “WHAT?! I'm TRYING to have an actual moment of heartfelt EPIPHANY here!” Katie says: “Not YOU; HER!!!!” Angelica FINALLY stops SCREAMING and yells: “You want a PIECE of ME, Blondie?!” Katie says: “At least I'm a REAL blonde, unlike YOU!!!!” Angelica says: “How DARE you?!” Captain Retro says: “If I were you, Bulma; I'd make some serious thoughts as to HOW you were going to APOLOGIZE to Zarbon for what you've done!” Bulma says: “Will you protect him from KILLING me?!” Captain Retro says: “Fortunately for you; HE'S not allowed to kill you on THIS or any other show!” Bulma says: “THANK you! I feel SO much better!” / And the footage switches back to the studio! Darwin says: “I can't BELIEVE they thought you were making that whole girlfriend bit, up!” Zarbon says: “You know, it's probably partially MY fault! I never SHOWED them any PICTURES of my girlfriend! For all they knew, I could have been making the whole thing up! Not that I ever WOULD have!” Zarasa says: “Zarbon, you say the sweetest things!” Zarbon says: “Zarasa, you make all the pain and agony I suffered on this season, worth seeing you again!” And they kiss each other!

Buhdeuce says: “I just LOVE a happy ending!” Globitha says: “Me, to! I'm sure glad I got MINE with Robot!” Robot says: “And me to, with you!” Eliza says: “I know this must be a HARD question to ask you, but how do you feel about your role throughout this entire season?” Zarbon says: “No question about it. I REALLY messed up! Not just in the role I thought I could play towards making this season interesting, but also, in the very way I viewed women in general! I thought that because I LOOKED the way I did; the way I sounded, and because of all my abilities, I thought that EVERY women wanted me, and would do ANYTHING to BE with me! I thought no woman could ever POSSIBLY betray me! It took all of Bulma's schemes to realize that NOT every woman wants to be with me; I shouldn't view ALL women as being completely innocent, and that; if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own home planet. Because, if it isn't there; I never really lost it to begin with. Is that right, Zarasa?” Zarasa says: “I think that's as good of a lesson to learn here, as any.” Darwin asks: “Now that you're out of the competition, who are you rooting for to win in the Final Five? Zarbon says: “I have to give my support to Skipper! If Bulma had to go out of her way just to eliminate HIM twice, there must be SOMETHING about him that can give him a win!” Eliza says: “Before you two take a seat, why don't we take a look at the next rocking song on our count-down! It will be AWESOME!!!!” /

#17: Genre: Dance (Synthesizer) Pop. Sub-Genre: Janet Jackson. Song: "When I Think of You." Sung by: Cast! / Marlene: "Ooh baby, anytime my world gets crazy, all I have to do, to calm it, is just think of you." Captain Retro: "'Cause when I think of you, baby, nothing else seems to matter!" Otto: "'Cause when I think of you, baby." Suzie: "All I think about is our love!" Robot: "I just get more attached to you when you hold me in your arms, and squeeze me!" Globitha: "And you leave me making me blue." Dog: "'Cause when I think of you, baby." Randolph: "Nothing else seems to matter." Pearl: "'Cause when I think of you, baby." Patrick: "All I think about is our love!" Phoebe and Keswick: "So in love, (So in love), Ooh, (So in love), With you, (So in love), Baby, (So in love), Ooh, (So in love), Hee, (So in love), With you!" Wally: "So in love, so in love." Reggie: "When I think of you, you, you, you, you." Rocko: "When I think of you." Stimpy about Lil: "When I think of you, you, you, you, you." Monster: "When I think of you." Judy: "Bass!" Po: "I'm so in love." Tigress: "I just think of you." Sway-Sway about Jenny Quackles: "If you're not around." Buhdeuce: "Oh!" Cast: "When I think of you!" Norbert and Treeflower: "So in love, (ooh). So in love, so in love, so in love! (With you!) So in love! (Baby you!) So in love! (Ooh!) So in love, so in love, so in love. (With you!) So in love." Daggett: "Break!" (Instrumental solo) Dib and Zim: "Ooh, ah, ooh, ah, cha, ooh, ooh, ah, ooh, ah, cha, ooh, ah, ooh, ah, ooh, ah, cha, ooh, ooh, ooh, ah, ooh, ah, cha, ooh, ah, chaow! Taotie: "Ah!" Zarbon: "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Bulma: "Feels so good!" Spongebob about Sandy: "When I think of you!" Heffer: "Yeah, yeah!" /

Zarbon says: “And just to let you know, Zarasa, I was totally singing to YOU in that song!” Zarasa says: “That's so sweet!” Darwin says: “Yes, it is. Now please take your seats somewhere with the eliminated contestants.” Zarbon and Zarasa decide to take seats between Kaput and Taotie! Taotie scoffs, and says: “Thanks a LOT for eliminating us, Einstein!” Zarbon says: “Trust me, I feel as bad about it as YOU two do!” Kaput says: “You are SO lucky that my license to kill is currently expired!” Eliza says: “I know a LOT of you have a lot you want to SAY to our next eliminated contestant; but we HAVE to remember to keep it civil! We don't want to end up like Angelica Pickles, do we?!” Off-screen, Angelica shouts: “OH, SHUT UP!!!!” Darwin says: “Case in point!” Eliza says: “You will ALL have a chance to address Bulma Briefs in the PROPER, civilized matter!” Darwin says: “We all know what she did, so we'll let HER explain herself right now! Coming in at seventh place, here's Bulma Briefs!” And the audience boos loudly as Captain Retro escorts Bulma on-stage! Eliza asks: “Captain Retro?! Why are YOU out here with Bulma?! You're supposed to come on later!” Captain Retro says: “Well, Bulma WOULDN'T come out here without ME to protect her!”

Dib says: “Sad to say, that's probably the SMARTEST thing she's done all season!” Bulma says: “No pitchforks or torches, PLEASE!!!! I BRUISE easily!!!!” Darwin says: “This isn't the Salem Witch Trials! You're going to be judged before a jury of your peers like everyone else in a court of law. As far as physical damage, there won't be any. But emotionally, I can't guarantee that. Haggis, we'll start with you.” Haggis stands up, and he says: “Bulma; I've acted in MANY movies and TV shows, I've known several actors and actresses, and I know ALL about how people are SUPPOSED to behave! But what I can't understand is why you decided to target ME; after getting rid of Snaptrap! You could have gone for ANYBODY left in the entire game! So WHY target me?!” Bulma says: “You were the easiest and most EXPENDABLE member of our team we COULD have gotten rid of at the TIME! It's not like you brought anything to the table that couldn't have been done by somebody ELSE younger and prettier!” Haggis asks: “So the reason you got rid of me was because I was old and NOT pretty?!” Bulma asks: “Is that the answer that you WANT to hear?!” Haggis asks: “Is there ANY answer that doesn't make you sound like a pampered, spoiled, selfish BRAT?!!!” Bulma stays silent, and says nothing. Haggis says: “I didn't THINK so! No further questions!” Eliza says: “Twister, you're up next.” Twister asks: “Bulma; why on EARTH did you vote me OFF in that STUPID New York challenge episode?! I'm the TWISTER!!!! I should NEVER lose!” Bulma says: “Well for starters, thinking LIKE that is precisely the BIGGEST reason why I decided to vote you off! Besides, if you were going to complain THAT much about not even contributing anything positive OR negative to that challenge, I couldn't IMAGINE how you would handle being negative for REALLY blowing it in a future challenge!” Twister thinks about it, and says: “Fine; point taken. I shouldn't have taken losing so badly. But was it REALLY necessary for you to target me?!” Bulma says: “Honestly, you were COMPLETELY expendable! Our team could AFFORD to lose you and NOT have it affect us in the long run!” Captain Retro asks: “Bulma; what are you DOING?!” Bulma says: “The same thing I ALWAYS do to get myself out of trouble; I talk my way out of it!” Blonda suspiciously asks: “You do THAT?!” Bulma seriously says: “Yes, I do! ALL the time!” Twister says: “I've heard enough. No further questions.”

Darwin says: “Lil Deville, it's your turn!” Lil Deville asks: “AM I LIL?! Or am I MAD DOG HOEK?! Mad Dog Hoek, is LOCO for BOOM-BOOM!!!!” Off-screen, Angelica asks: “Is THAT still a THING?!” Katie shouts: “Ignore her!” Eliza says: “Noted. Carry on!” Lil says: “Anyways; how could you ASK Kaput to push ME and Stimpy off of the PLANE in that Brazil jungle challenge?!”

Bulma says: “For once, that actually WASN'T my fault! I merely told Kaput to HANDLE your elimination for that episode! I did NOT tell him to GO nuts!” Kaput says: “So I got a little over-zealous! Who doesn't?!” Bulma says: “You're LUCKY you managed to keep yourself so USEFUL for so long, or you would have been voted off EARLIER for being SO detrimental to yourself AND all your allies!” Kaput says: “At least I'm not ZIM!!!!” Zim says: “You WISH you could be ME!!!! I'm getting a TV Movie on Nickelodeon soon!” Kaput says: “So is Rocko! You're NOT special!” Darwin says: “You two will have plenty of time to talk later! Lil, you got anything else to say?” Lil says: “Nope! I actually BELIEVE Bulma is telling the truth THIS time! No further questions!” Bulma says: “Told you I could talk my way out of trouble!” Captain Retro says: “Only because it actually WAS the truth that time!” Bulma says: “If it works, that's the biggest thing I care about!” Eliza says: “Pearl...oh. That's right; she's not here, she's with Patrick for the Final Five. Well, since we don't have another significant contestant until Treeflower, why don't we take a break and introduce the next song in our count-down? And it's a song, that HAPPENS to FINALLY be relevant to what has happened this season! A song that ASKS about lying, and in Bulma's case, HAPPENED to be true!” Bulma sourly says: “Oh, SURE!!!! Throw THAT fact in my face, why don't you?!” Darwin says: “DON'T give ANY of us ANY ideas that you DON'T want to see later! This song, comes from the Missouri challenge episode, and you're going to SEE which song we're talking about, right now!” /

#16: Genre: Dance Pop. Sub-Genre: The Eurythmics. Song: "Would I Lie to You?" Sung by: Cast! / Captain Retro: "Would I lie to you? Would I lie to you honey? Oh no, no, NO!" Stimpy: "Now would I say something that wasn't true?" Reggie: "I'm asking you sugar, would I lie to you?" Marlene: "My friends, know what's in store." Otto: "I won't be here anymore! Dib: "I've packed my bags." Zim: "I've cleaned the floor." Judy: "Watch me walking." Kaput: "Walking out the door!" Tigress: "Believe me, I'll make it, make it!" Spongebob: "Believe me, I'll make it, make it!" Po: "Would I lie to you?" Rocko: "Would I lie to you honey?" Treeflower: "Now honey, would I lie?" Norbert: "Now would I say something that wasn't true?" Bulma: "I'm asking you sugar, would I lie to you?" Zarbon: "Tell you straight, no intervention. To your face, no deception." Taotie: "You're the biggest fake; that much is true!" King Julien: "Had all I can take!" Skipper: "Now I'm leaving you!" (The word "You" reverberates as motorcycle engines rev up!) Sanjay: "Ooh! Ahh! Hey! Ahhh!" Craig: "Believe me, I'll make it, make it!" Buhdeuce: "Oh yes I will! A-ha!" Sway-Sway: "Believe me, I'll make it, make it! Make it, make it; make it!" Phoebe: "Would I lie to you?" Dudley: "I'll make it, make it!" Keswick: "Would I lie to you honey?" Chameleon: "Now would I say something that wasn't true?" Super Chum: "I'm asking you sugar, would I lie, lie, lie; lie?" (Instrumental solo) Oonski: "Ooh, yeah!" Wally: "Would I lie to you?" Suzie: "Would I lie to you honey?" Robot: "Now would I say something that wasn't true?" Globitha: "I'm asking you sugar, would I lie to you?" Harvey: "My friends, know what's in store. I won't be here, anymore." Heffer: "I've packed my bags." Monster: "I've cleaned the floor." Daggett: "Watch me walking. Walking out the door! Believe me, I'll make it, make it!" Gonard: "Believe me, I'll make it, make it!" Sniz: "Would I lie to you?" General Barracuda: "Would I lie to you?" / And the epic song ends. /

As everyone applauds, Eliza says: “So in Bulma's case, she WOULD lie to us! See? We HAD a plan for that song and the episode it was IN, to be RELEVANT to this season ALL along!” Darwin says: “Treeflower, you're up next!” Treeflower says: “Bulma, I might not have been the most POPULAR contestant who has EVER competed in these seasons, but why did you DO what you did to ME?! I could have held out LONGER if it hadn't have BEEN for you!” Bulma scoffs, and says: “Look, it was PURELY a strategic decision! Even WITH your pregnancy, you were STILL a physically capable, mentally competent, and fairly well-liked member of Team Retro! It was WAY too risky to allow you to continue to be in challenges, and CHIP away at all the FAILURES in MY team! I got rid of you only to even the ODDS for my team! You can understand that as a fellow strategist, can't you?!” Treeflower says: “Understand it? Yes. Tolerate it? That, I CAN'T do! I should have left because I genuinely COULDN'T compete in the game anymore! I thought I did so, but now that I know that wasn't the case, I'm VERY disappointed in you, because YOU didn't want to risk LOSING to me in a genuine battle!” Bulma says: “I could have beaten YOU in a FAIR challenge! I just didn't FEEL like it!” Treeflower rolls her eyes and says: “Now you're LYING to YOURSELF! Get yourself a CLUE! No further questions.” Eliza says: “Dib Bitters, Judy Funny, you're both up next!” Dib says: “I'm not going to pretend like I COULD have beaten Bulma Briefs; she genuinely has a greater intellect than me! But I still don't like it that she went out of her way to TARGET me! Was I REALLY too much for your team to handle in a FAIR challenge?!” Bulma says: “Look at it THIS way; I DID you a favor! By taking you out EARLIER, I spared you from a more HUMILIATING loss to MY team further down the road!” Dib says: “Maybe so, but I would've liked to have seen HOW that would have played out for myself!” Judy says: “And so would I! I was the GREAT actress! I had aspirations of making it far! And you SHOT them DOWN!!!!” Bulma says: “Hey! I wasn't the one who TOLD you to get on that bull! That was YOUR own individual decision! You can't blame ME for YOUR loss in that challenge! You need to own it for yourself, and get yourself some actual BULL riding lessons! Heaven KNOWS you could have USED it then!” Judy says: “I wanted a chance to prove myself! Was THAT too much to ask?!”

Bulma says: “In a game of this nature, it would have been COMPLETELY stupid of me to have LEFT anything to chance! If I had, there was a VERY good chance my team WOULDN'T have stayed alive in the challenges where we DIDN'T face an elimination!” Judy says: “That doesn't PROVE that you're a GOOD contestant, that just PROVES that you were a COWARD, and AFRAID of a GENUINE competition!” Bulma says: “FINE!!!! I was a coward! Now are you SATISFIED?!” Judy says: “No. Just disappointed!” Bulma says: “You know, you're starting to SOUND like my father!” Judy says: “Good! At least ONE of us, does! No further questions!” Dib says: “No further questions for me, either!” Darwin says: “Sway-Sway, you're up next!” Sway-Sway says: “Bulma, did you ACTUALLY tell Jenny Quackles to give me a chance in the romantic department, with the thought that she would BREAK my heart after DOING so?!” Bulma can't help but burst out and start LAUGHING, as if Sway-Sway was ACTUALLY doubting her! Sway-Sway seriously says: “That's not FUNNY!!!! I don't care HOW SICK YOU WERE!!!! Toying with the emotions of others is SERIOUSLY NOT COOL, Bulma! There are SERIOUS consequences for that! A lesson that I found out for myself, the HARD way!” Bulma says: “It's not MY fault you weren't USEFUL to me! You could have been a GREAT asset if you had SHOWN some INITIATIVE once in a while!” Sway-Sway says: “My initiative was NOT to be part of some SINISTER alliance that DUBIOUSLY eliminated contestants who DIDN'T deserve it, my initiative was to play as good of a game as I could, and to make it as FAR as I could! Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that Jenny and I are together now! But your intentions were SERIOUSLY not cool! You need therapy; a LOT of THERAPY! No further questions!” Eliza says: “Before we go to our next contestants, let's take a look at the next song at our list. While it came from the episode where Sway-Sway was eliminated, it still holds a rocking place in our hearts! Take a listen, and see for yourself!” /

#15: Genre: New Wave. Sub-Genre: 1980's Dance Pop. Song: "Vacation." Sung by: Cast! / Norbert about Treeflower: "Can't seem to get my mind off of you." Daggett: "Back there at home there's nothing to do, oooh!" Stanley: "Now that I'm away, I wish I'd stayed." Stimpy about Lil: "Tomorrow's a day of mine that you won't be in." King Julien about Skipper: "When you looked at me, I should've run." Skipper: "But I thought it was just for fun." Phoebe: "I see I was wrong, and I'm not so strong." Super Chum: "I should've known all along that time would tell." Keswick about Kitty: "A week without you, thought I'd forget." Zarbon about his girlfriend: "Two weeks without you and I still haven't gotten over you yet." Cast: "Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, had to get away! Vacation, meant to be spent alone. Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, had to get away! Vacation, meant to be spent alone." [Instrumental Interlude] Taotie about his former wife: "A week without you, thought I'd forget." Spongebob about Sandy: "Two weeks without you and I still haven't gotten over you yet." Cast: "Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, had to get away! Vacation, meant to be spent alone. Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, had to get away! Vacation, meant to be spent alone." Captain Retro: "Vacation, all I ever wanted!" Marlene: "Vacation, had to get away!" Cast: "Vacation meant to be spent alone." /

The audience applauds, and Eliza says: “Harvey, Craig Slithers, you're both up next!” Harvey says: “I only have one question! Did you GENUINELY care about my safety by ELIMINATING me?!” Bulma says: “I was DIABOLICAL! Not heartless! There was no WAY I could live with myself if a young kid like YOU got hurt in the competition! Besides, it was TAOTIE'S plan to vote you off, not mine!” Taotie groans, and says: “Sad to say, she's actually got me on that one. I was genuinely mad that Harvey wouldn't help me, just because I was an evil villain! That's the only reason I wanted YOU gone! There really isn't any reason deeper than that!” Harvey says: “No further questions.” Craig says: “As for me, what was SO threatening about ME that you felt the NEED to target me?!” Bulma asks: “Are you blaming ME for YOUR decision to EAT all those uncooked pizzas that prevented YOU from helping out YOUR team in a challenge that led to YOUR elimination?! I didn't tell you to DO that! You can't PIN every single significant elimination on ME!”

Craig says: “Look, I did that because I wanted to help my team NOT lose points! What did YOU ever do for YOUR team that was beneficial and selfless!” Bulma says: “I actually HAVE a few examples! In the Paris challenge, I put MYSELF at risk in order to help MY team come in second place by dodging those security lasers! And in the Olympics Challenge, I actually PLAYED an Olympic sport and used MY brains to win it WITHOUT resorting to cheating!” Captain Retro says: “Selfless, my FOOT!!!! The only reason YOU did that was to BOOST your OWN overall Edgic score for those people keeping score back at their homes, so people would mistakenly put YOU in a better position to win!” Bulma pouts, and says: “Fine! I would be LYING if I said that I wasn't PARTIALLY thinking about how the average viewer would VIEW me! I didn't want to be seen as TOTALLY vile when winning this season, at least by THEIR viewpoints!” Darwin says: “Unfortunately for you, it's not the viewpoints of the VIEWERS that you have to worry about, it's your fellow contestants! Craig, what do YOU think about Bulma's statements?!” Craig says: “I just think she has LOUSY excuses as to the REASON as to why I lost before I should have! No further questions!” Eliza says: “Stanley, you're up next!” Stanley asks: “Bulma, do you feel PROUD about yourself for LYING to ME, and indirectly causing Spongebob to go OFF the deep end in getting his DRIVER'S license, and becoming all crazy/determined thanks to General Barracuda?!” Bulma says: “Well, for starters, I didn't tell Spongebob to go to General Barracuda! Besides, how was I supposed to know that he would be THAT desperate to keep himself in the game?!” Captain Retro says: “Sad to say, straw-man, or woman, has a point in this case! Even I couldn't have predicted that Spongebob would do that, and I had the ABILITY to see multiple futures!” Spongebob says: “And I'm sorry for the part that I played in your elimination. But for what it's worth, if I had known that it was BULMA'S idea for you to say what you did, and NOT your own, I would have spared you! Stanley says: “See? Even Spongebob would have gone against you!” Bulma groans and says: “SHEESH!!!! You're BOTH sore losers!” Stanley says: “We're not SORE about losing! We're SORE because of your LOUSY, HIGHLY dubious methods YOU USED for getting contestants out of the GAME! No further questions!” Darwin says: “Before we get to our next contestants, let's play another song from our countdown! This time, it's comes from the episode that Stanley was eliminated in, and you're about to hear what it is right now!” /

#14: Genre: 1980's Rock and Roll. Sub-Genre: Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks. Song: "Stand Back!" Sung by: Cast! / During this montage, the contestants all try to quickly make their way across the raceway, as they avoid the racing cars! / Monster: "No one look, I'll walk by!" Zarbon: "Just an invitation would have been just fine." Bulma: "Said 'no' to HIM, again and again! First he took my heart, then he ran!" Skipper: "No one knows how I feel; what I say." King Julien: "Unless you read between my lines!" Marlene: "One man walked away from me. First he took my hand. Take ME home!!" Cast: "Stand back, stand back!" Captain Retro: "In the middle of my room, I could not hear from you!" Team Retro: "It's alright, it's alright!" Stimpy and Reggie: "To be standing in a line. Standing in a line. To be standing in a line." Rocko: "I would cry." Spongebob, nervously: "La, la, la-la, la, la, la, la, la. La, la. La, la, la-la, la." Norbert: "Do not turn away, my friend." Daggett: "Like a willow, I can bend!" Phoebe: "No man calls my name, no man came!" Buhdeuce: "So I walked on down away from you, maybe your attention was more than you could do!" Globitha: "But one man did not call; he asked me for my love." Robot: "And that was all!" Cast: "Stand back, stand back!" Dudley: "In the middle of my room, I do not hear from you!" Team S.R.R.R.C.: "It's alright, it's alright!" Chameleon and Gonard: "To be standing in a line. Standing in a line. To be standing in a line." Keswick: "I would cry." (Instrumental solo) Stanley, nervously: "La, la, la-la, la, la, la, la, la. La, la. La, la, la-la, la, la, la." General Barracuda: "Too few, too few!" Patrick nervously: "La. La, la, la-la, la, la, la, la, la. La, la, la. La, la, la-la, la." Wally: "So I walked, walked down the line away from you!" Super Chum: "Maybe your attention was more than I could do!"

Zim: "One man did not fall! Well, he asked me for my love; that was all!" Cast: "Stand back, stand back!" Zim: "In the middle of my room, I did not hear from you!" Team Adversity: "It's alright, it's alright!" Otto and Guano: "To be standing in a line. (Standing in a line.) To be standing in a line." Randolph: "I could cry." Dog: "I need a little sympathy!" Spongebob: "Well, I need a little sympathy!" Patrick: "Well, I need to be standing in..." Stanley: "Stand back!" Phoebe: "Well, I need to be standing in..." Wally: "Stand back!" Otto: "Well, I need to be standing in..." Super Chum: "Stand back!" Marlene: "Take me home!" Spongebob pleads: "Take me home!" General Barracuda: "Stand back! Don't you, 'Take me home!'" Spongebob sadly: "Well, I need a little sympathy!" Stanley: "Stand back!" / Eliza says: “Super Chum is still busy helping Man-arctica do what he can to help reverse the effects of Global Climate Change. However, we do have ANOTHER contestant from the Greenland Challenge who would like to question Bulma! Guano, you're up next!” Guano asks: “Look, I didn't really want to compete in this thing to begin with. But when I found out that I really HAD to, I wanted to GO for it! But thanks to Otto, THAT didn't happen! Did YOU have anything to DO with THAT?!” Bulma groans and says: “Look, I KNEW that Otto would EVENTUALLY get frustrated as long as MY team kept HIS team on the short end of the stick! If he kept losing challenges just LONG enough, I knew it was ONLY a matter of time before he took it out on someone else! I just had no way of knowing that it would be you! But if it's any consolation, you weren't that much of a threat to me to begin with!” Guano says: “And THAT makes what YOU did to get Super Chum and ME out any BETTER?!” Bulma says: “Ordinarily, I WOULD be inclined to say, 'Yes.' But somehow, with Captain Retro HERE; I get the feeling that would be the WRONG thing to say!” Captain Retro says: “And that's the SMARTEST thing YOU'VE said to ANYBODY here in this entire episode SO far!” Bulma groans: “I didn't say it because I felt like I HAD to SAY it! UGH!!!! This stupid thing is taking TOO LONG!!!!” Guano says: “Since Bulma seems to be getting agitated, I have no further questions.” Darwin says: “Which is the perfect time for us to present ANOTHER song on our countdown! And it's a song that comes from the episode that Guano was eliminated! And you will hear what it is right now!” /

#13: Genre: New Wave. Sub-Genre: The B-52's! Song: "Girl From Ipanema Goes to Greenland!" Sung by: Cast! / Cast: "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland! Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland!" Bulma: "Witch doctors are screaming!" Marlene: "Nymphs are dreaming!" Skipper: "This girl's lost someone!" King Julien: "Who is that someone?" Guano: "She's leaving!" Team Retro: "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland! Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland!" Po: "Hot latitudes, cool attitudes!" Tigress: "She's leaving!" Captain Retro: "Moon in her mirror, chasing northern lights!" Phoebe: "She goes, ahhh." Team S.R.R.R.C.: "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland! Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland!" (Instrumental solo) Buhdeuce: "Remember, wherever you go, there you are!" Team Adversity: "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland! Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland!" Wally: "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland!" Dog and Randolph: "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland!" Robot and Globitha: "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland!" Cast: "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland!" / And the epic song ends! /

The audience applauds, and Eliza says: “It's time for us to continue with our inquiry, which means that Invader Zim and Keswick, you're both up next!” Off-screen, Angelica asks: “Is it MY turn YET?!!!” Blonda scoffs, and says: “No! If I have to be patient to wait for MY songs, IF there are any, YOU can be patient enough to wait for YOUR turn!” Angelica shouts: “Well, hurry it UP then!!!!” Invader Zim asks: “Bulma, why did YOU feel the need to target ME in that FREAKY Bangkok Challenge?!” Bulma scoffs, and says: “That wasn't just ME; that was a LEGITIMATE GROUP decision! Zarbon didn't like you, Taotie didn't like you, Oonski didn't like you, Kaput certainly didn't like you, and I didn't like you! If you really WANTED to have kept yourself in the game, you would have done SOMETHING to BETRAY your own team!”

Zim asks: “And CONFIRM all the bad things that Dib has EVER thought about me?! Sorry to disappoint you, BULMA, but I'm NOT that predictable! No further questions!” Keswick asks: “Bulma, did you know it wasn't actually MY idea to try to get RID of you in that Bangkok challenge?! That was actually all Marlene's idea! She convinced me to try to get rid of you with those freaky machines, by giving me $2,000 in advance, with an additional $15,000 IF I succeeded!” Bulma says: “First off, I DIDN'T know that! All I knew was that YOU were trying to spearhead a movement to get RID of me! And besides, it was too early for me to eliminate MARLENE! That would have been SUSPICIOUS!!!! I don't CARE if you took that elimination PERSONALLY!!!! The NEXT time you get the idea to TRY to eliminate someone, make it your OWN idea, and NOT somebody ELSE'S!!!!” Keswick says: “All I know is that I didn't lose because I genuinely DESERVED it! You used Anti-Timmy to do me in!” Bulma says: “Which thankfully for YOU, won't EVER happen again, since he's now GONE!” Keswick says: “All I REALLY want to say is the following, Bulma! If you EVER want to be TRULY redeemed in OUR eyes and the eyes of the viewers, you'll play with honor and DIGNITY in the FUTURE!!!! No further questions!” Darwin says: “Which means it's TIME for us to present the next song in our countdown!” Angelica screams: “STOP TOYING WITH THE AUDIENCE STUPID!!!! SAY MY NAME!!!!” Blonda yells: “They'll SAY it when they GET there! Go on, Eliza!” Eliza says: “For once, I AGREE with you! This song comes from the episode that Invader Zim and Keswick were BOTH eliminated in! And it FEATURES a duet between Otto Rocket and Suzie!” /

#12: Genre: Cher. Sub-Genre: Adult Contemporary. Song: "After All." Sung by: Otto and Suzie. Otto: "Well, here we are again. I guess it must be fate. We've tried it on our own, but deep inside we've known, we'd be back to set things straight." Suzie: "I still remember when, your kiss was so brand new. Every memory repeats, every step I take retreats." Otto and Suzie: "Every journey always brings me back to you! After all the stops and starts, we keep coming back to these two hearts. Two angels who've been rescued from the fall; after all that we've been through." Suzie: "It all comes down to me and you!" Otto and Suzie: "I guess it's meant to be, forever you and me, after all." Suzie: "When love is truly right, it lives from year to year." Otto: "It changes as it goes." Suzie: "And on the way it grows." Otto and Suzie: "But it never, ever disappears! After all the stops and starts, we keep coming back to these two hearts. Two angels who've been rescued from the fall; after all that we've been through." Suzie: "It all comes down to me and you!" Otto and Suzie: "I guess it's meant to be!" Otto: "Forever, you and me; after all! Always just beyond my touch, You know I needed you so much." Suzie: "After all, what else is living for?" Otto and Suzie: "After all the stops and starts, we keep coming back to these two hearts. Two angels who've been rescued from the fall; after all that we've been through." Suzie: "It all comes down to me and you!" Otto and Suzie: "I guess it's meant to be forever you and me! After all the stops and starts, We keep coming back to these two hearts! Two angels who've been rescued from the fall! After all that we've been through!" Suzie: "It all comes down to me and you!" Otto and Suzie: "I guess it's meant to be!" Otto: "Forever, you and me!" Otto and Suzie: "After all!" / And the epic song ends. /

The audience applauds loudly, and Darwin says: “We've got another two for the price of one who want to talk to YOU, Bulma, and they are Kaput and Oonski!” Kaput says: “Bulma, I am unbelievably MAD at you! I have ONE measly allergic reaction to moles, and you throw me OUT?!!!” Bulma says: “HEY!!!! Don't blame ME that YOU didn't tell ME about your ALLERGIES!!!! If I had KNOWN, I could have PROTECTED you from those allergies! But you DIDN'T, so DON'T try to pass THAT off on me!” Oonski says: “And WHY did you target ME after SAVING me in the Bangkok challenge?! My secret relationship status to Daggett wasn't THAT bad, was it?!” Bulma rolls her eyes, and says: “Look, even someone who was EVIL this season has her standards, and those were VERY bad standards! If you made yourself look bad, you could have made ME look bad! And that was something that I couldn't have for MY team!” Kaput asks: “And you expect US to believe THAT?! After EVERYTHING you made ME do?! After EVERYTHING you did to YOUR team?!” Bulma says: “My strategy for this season didn't even CONCERN you, nor was it ever SUPPOSED to! Everything I did, I believed it was the best MOVE for me! I NEVER intended for the game to get as messed up as it did! I NEVER would have done all the stuff that I did if I had known that Dr. Gero had no intention of fulfilling HIS end of the bargain with me!” Oonski says: “I still don't like what you did to me! Getting rid of me for a mistake that wasn't even RELEVANT to this game show was seriously NOT cool Bulma! No further questions.” Kaput says: “No further questions from me, either!”

Eliza says: “Next up in this inquiry is--!” Off-screen, Wanda says: “Eliza!” Darwin says: “Not now, Wanda! Next up, is--!” Wanda shouts: “It's Angelica Pickles! I can't STOP her!” And Angelica storms on-stage with Wanda FUTILY trying to hold her, and Angelica yells: “I won't STAND for this NONSENSE anymore!” Bulma sarcastically says: “GREAT!!!! Just what I NEEDED! The world's LOUDEST screamer, who also has the world's SECOND smallest brain!” Stimpy asks: “Who has the FIRST smallest brain?!” Bulma says: “I'm afraid I can't say that on television, because it might OFFEND the WRONG people!” Captain Retro says: “I KNOW who YOU'RE talking about! But I won't say who it is, either!” Eliza rolls her eyes, and asks: “Anyways, what do YOU want NOW, Angelica?!” Angelica angrily says: “You KNOW what I want! I want REVENGE!!!! And my MONEY!!!!” Dib groans, and says: “For the LOVE of the late, great Stephen Hawking! You're NOT even in the contest anymore! You're HERE, you LOST, get OVER it!!!!” Angelica angrily says: “I KNOW why I'm here! It's because BULMA Briefs UNFAIRLY got me kicked OFF!!!!” Bulma gasps in shock, and rhetorically asks: “I; unfairly got YOU booted OFF?!!!” Angelica says: “Yeah, TWICE!!!!” Bulma counts to one on her left hand, and she asks: “What was the SECOND time?!” Angelica says: “It's all OVER for YOU, Bulma Briefs! You're going to PAY for taking everything AWAY from me! My MONEY, my POPULARITY, my #1 Championship status for this season, AND my ability to EVER compete on this STUPID game show EVER again!” Bulma rhetorically asks: “And you HONESTLY think its MY fault ALL this bad stuff HAPPENED to you?! I didn't even THINK you would take me SERIOUSLY when I suggested that YOU should say all the bad stuff you DID say in the Brazil episode! And if you actually BELIEVED that would HONESTLY help you, than YOU'RE even DUMBER than you LOOK!” Angelica angrily says: “Keep talking SMACK to ME!!!! I DARE YOU!!!!” Bulma seriously says: “Angelica, don't EVEN tempt me! Even with my EXTREME unpopularity status this season, I think that I'm STILL more well-liked than you EVER were!”

Angelica asks: “And you THINK that's going to help YOU out?!” Bulma says: “Well if the shoe FITS...!” Angelica seriously says: “Say that AGAIN!!!!” Bulma slowly enunciates: “Well if the sh-OE! FITS!!!!” Angelica angrily winds her left fist and says: “Okay, genius!!!! Laugh THIS one OFF!!!!” Otto GRABS her fist and says: “Angelica, STOP this NONSENSE at once!!!!” Angelica calms down, and sourly says: “Well, if it isn't Otto, my DEAD boyfriend! What brings YOU back from the grave on this fine day?” Otto says: “As Alanis Morissette once sang; You Oughta Know. If it weren't for YOU; I'd be BACK on the plane with Suzie Carmichael right now!” Angelica smirks, and says: “Well, I just SAW Suzie, and she says that she's SICK of YOU!!!! In fact, she says DON'T BOTHER coming BACK to her side, like, EVER!!!!” Otto angrily says: “That's a LIE!!!!” Captain Retro says: “It is a lie!” Angelica angrily screams: “Shut UP!!!! I'm just letting Otto know how IT feels, to be DUMPED for someone FAR inferior to someone else in EVERY single CONCEIVABLE way!!!!” Eliza suddenly smiles, and she says: “You know, it WAS just supposed to be Otto Rocket asking Bulma questions, but because you are SO insistent about it, I'll let YOU ask questions to Bulma as WELL!” Angelica smiles, and says: “FINALLY!!!! That's the BEST decision that anyone has MADE on this WHOLE stupid season!” Blonda says: “I believe THAT! That's why I'M sitting with the OTHER eliminated contestants!” Darwin says: “So, what questions do you have for Bulma?”

Otto says: “Only one question, why didn't you eliminate Angelica SOONER?! Like, BEFORE she found out that I had kissed Suzie?!” Angelica angrily says: “Oh, you would have LOVED THAT, wouldn't YOU?!!!” Otto says: “Would have been a NICE change of pace!” Bulma says: “Well, I WOULD have eliminated her off of Team Retro SOONER, but they kept WINNING challenges until the Brazil episode!” Otto says: “No further questions!” Eliza says: “Angelica, what's YOUR question? Not that it will EVER get you back ON this show! You're out FOREVER!!!!” Angelica says: “FINE!!!! Than that just means that I can GIVE Bulma a NICE, TALL glass of EXTREME PAIN!!!! So, Bulma, which part of YOUR body would YOU like broken FIRST?!!!” Bulma seriously says: “Just TRY it, powder-puff! The whole WORLD is WATCHING!!!!” Captain Retro says: “You keep DOING this, Angelica! You NEVER think things THROUGH!!!!” Angelica screams: “I want MY REVENGE!!!! And my MONEY!!!!” Darwin smiles, and he says: “Well, we don't have EITHER of those! But we have something ELSE that might interest you!” Angelica, intrigued, asks: “REALLY?! What's that?!” Eliza smiles, and she says: “Oh, just the NEXT little song number on our countdown. It's a song that comes from the episode that you AND Otto were ELIMINATED in!” Angelica nervously asks: “WHICH SONG from the Nepal challenge that I was ELIMINATED IN?!!!” Blonda says: “It's a song that's MUSIC to my ears, and PAIN to YOURS, because you HAVE no HEART!!!!” Angelica sourly says: “You're DESPICABLE!!!!” Blonda says: “Takes one to KNOW one! Now LISTEN!!!!” /

#11: Genre: Hard Rock. Sub-Genre: Heart (The Band). Song: "Never." Sung by: Cast! / Marlene: "Whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa! Whoa, oh, whoa! Hey baby, I'm talking to you! Stop yourself and listen!" Captain Retro: "Some things you can never, ever choose; even if you try, yeah!" Zarbon to Angelica: "You're banging your head again, cause somebody won't let you in!" Angelica: "One chance, one love, your chance to let me know!" Skipper and King Julien: "We can't go on and on, just running away. If we stay any longer, we will surely never get away." Dog to Randolph: "Anything you want...we can make it happen." Randolph: "Stand up and turn around, never let them shoot us down!" Otto: "Never, Never! Never!" Suzie: "Never run away!" Reggie: "Hey baby, you know it's time! Why you bother lying; when you know that you want it, to. Don't you dare deny me! Walk those legs right over here! Give me what I'm dying for!" Rocko: "One chance...one love, hold me down; never let me go!" Tigress and Po: "We can't go on and on, just running away! If we wait any longer, we will surely never get away!" Dudley to Chameleon: "Anything you want...we can make it happen." Chameleon: "Stand up and turn around, never let them shoot us down!" Phoebe: "Never, never! Never, never run away!" Monster: "Never, never! Never, never run away!" Gonard: "Hey baby, I'm talking to you! Stop yourself and listen!" Bulma: "Some things you can never, ever choose; even if you try, yeah!" Buhdeuce: "You're banging your head again, cause somebody won't let you in!" Gonard: "One chance, one love, your chance to let me know!" Robot and Globitha: "We can't go on and on, just running away. If we stay any longer, we will surely never get away!" Cast: "WHOA! WHOA! Never! WHOA! WHOA! Never!" Wally: "We can't go on, Never!" Spongebob: "We can't go on, Never!" Cast: "WHOA! WHOA! Never! WHOA! WHOA! Never!" Patrick: "We can't go on, Never!" Heffer: "We can't go on, Never!" /

The audience applauds and Angelica screams: “NO!!!! You DIDN'T!!!! You FREAKING didn't!!!!” Darwin says: “Can, did, and your fate has been SEALED, Miss NASTY!!!!” Angelica angrily says: “Not before I SEAL--!!!!” Eliza yells: “BLONDA!!!!” Angelica says: “Not HER!!!! All of--!!!!” (POOF!!!!) And Angelica looks up at the magical piano hovering over her head, and suddenly holds up a sign that reads: “MOTHER!!!!” (CRASH!!!! CRASH!!!! CRASH!!!! CRASH!!!! Objects clatter!!!!) Darwin says: “Wow! Who knew THIS theater had THAT many basements and such POINTY objects on the bottom FLOOR!!!!” Muffled, Angelica screams: “MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!!” Blonda sighs in content, and she says: “My GOSH!!!! That felt good!” Eliza says: “And it looks like we were wrong! Looks like we DID need you after all!” Blonda says: “I'm just glad I could be of service!” Darwin says: “We've got to take a break now, but when we come back, we will continue to bring you the rest of this retro, rocking countdown, on Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” (Commercial Break) / I'll break here, and stop for now. Enough said, for now! 

[4EverGreen]

Here's the second and FINAL part of my latest "Total Cartoon Global Cruise" episode! I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it! / 

“Performance Review: Total Cartoon Global Cruise's Greatest Hits” / The commercials end, and the camera opens up on the eliminated contestants, with a FULLY bandaged Angelica Pickles now situated between Taotie and Oonski. And she just glares an ANGRY look at everyone and angrily muffles: “MMMM! MMMM! MMMM!” Harvey asks: “What did she just say?!” Blonda says: “Speaking for Angelica, because heaven KNOWS nobody else will, she simply said, 'Don't say a WORD'!!!!” Spongebob says: “Trust me, we weren't GOING to!” Eliza says: “Everyone, it's time to continue our inquiry against Bulma Briefs! Sanjay and Heffer, you're both up next!” Sanjay says: “Bulma, when Blonda entered the competition, it REALLY seemed to strike a NERVE with you, and not a GOOD one, either! Was the reason that you were against her and anyone who ALIGNED with her, was because you were AFRAID she was going to concoct a more nefarious scheme than the one YOU had planned for the majority of the contestants this season?!” Bulma says: “Honestly?! A little!” Blonda smirks, and she says: “I KNEW that I got UNDER her skin! Metaphorically speaking, of course!” Bulma says: “But the BIGGEST reason I was against her and ANYBODY she associated with?! She was an IRRITANT!” Blonda groans, and she says: “EVERYBODY is a CRITIC!” Bulma says: “But if it's any consolation, I didn't vote you off because of anything YOU did specifically, but you HAD been a member of Team Retro BEFORE you were a member of MY team! You were an outsider, so if our team HAD to eliminate somebody, you were the FIRST on the chopping block! I wanted to keep as much of MY team intact as possible!” Sanjay says: “Well, you didn't do a good job of THAT, did you now?! Out of the eighteen contestants who made up Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really Cool to begin with, only FOUR of them, including yourself, managed to make it to the Team Merge when the Team Challenges ended!” Captain Retro says: “That was partially MY fault, as well! I NEEDED to have the team I was on, win as many challenges as they possibly could win! That would make Bulma's nefarious plans HARDER to pull off, if she had fewer contestants to work with, and would therefore, be more prone to slipping up and making mistakes without anyone to provide any critical oversights to her strategic blind-spots. You see, Blonda didn't just irritate Bulma, she made Bulma become OBSESSED with voting Blonda and her allies OUT of the game! And by doing that, she ENSURED herself that she would NOT be the winner of this season!” Bulma asks: “Are you saying that it's all MY fault?!” Captain Retro says: “Partially, but it was also your REACTIONS to everyone else that did you in. This game show wasn't just about ACTIONS, it was about REACTIONS as well!”

Sanjay says: “And for the record, Bulma, I don't appreciate the way YOU reacted to ME, simply because I chose to help Blonda out in that Russia challenge. You didn't even really give me the chance to PROVE myself!” Bulma says: “Look, kid--.” Sanjay says: “Hold up! I have an ACTUAL name! And from what I heard, you have a REALLY lousy history with getting to know ANYBODY personally in this game! Do you EVEN remember what MY last name IS?!” Bulma groans, and says: “I don't KNOW! Sanjay Coothrapalli?” Sanjay seriously says: “It's Sanjay Patel, and you just confirmed what I thought about you. You didn't want to get to know ANYBODY personally in this game; you didn't care about making friendships or the way you treated other people at all! And it's for THAT reason why I don't care for the way you TREATED the majority of the contestants you had a hand in eliminating this season?!” Bulma says: “So because of that, you're bitter TOO?!” Sanjay says: “I'm not bitter, just disappointed! No further questions.” Heffer asks: “Bulma, how could you eliminate ME?! I was an audience FAVORITE!!!!” Bulma says: “Only according to Blonda! Besides, do you have ANY idea how much FOOD you consumed during your stay as a contestant?! During your 25 episodes as a contestant this season, including performance reviews, you always had a breakfast, second breakfast, brunch, second brunch, lunch, second lunch, 'dunch', second 'dunch', maybe watch a marathon of Rocko's Modern Life, than have a late dinner! That's NINE square meals a day, which for those episodes alone, would add up to 225 meals total!”

Larry says: “SHEESH! That's a healthy eater!” Bulma says: “That's not the POINT!!!! The point is, how are you not DEAD from indigestion or something like that ALREADY?!” Heffer shrugs, and he says: “I don't know. A fast metabolism, I guess.” Captain Retro says: “He's also a steer and has FOUR stomachs! Statistically speaking, he actually NEEDS to eat more in order to fill those up!” Heffer asks: “First off, Captain Retro, THANK you for remembering that I'm a STEER!” And Bulma, is the only reason you got rid of me was because I ATE so much?!” Bulma says: “I would be LYING if I said that factor didn't cross my mind! But the BIGGEST factor, was that Taotie called you, and I quote; 'Fatty-Fatty Two by Four Can't Fit Through the Kitchen Door'!” Taotie angrily says: “Oh, SURE!!!! Insult BOTH him and ME in the same sentence why don't you?!” Heffer says: “Bulma, try and shame MY body AND my life-style all you WANT!!!! All I know is, that as far as my family is concerned, big IS beautiful! And NOTHING you say is going to change their LOVE for me! No further questions!” Darwin says: “It's time for the next song in our countdown, and it comes from the episode where Blonda made her BIG debut as a contestant!” Blonda groans and asks: “Oh, does it HAVE to be THAT one?!” Eliza says: “Sorry, it's popular with the kids! It's time to see Blonda's big show-stopping number!” /

Note: All songs are presented in their original format. / 10. Genre: Hard Rock. Sub-Genre: Glam Metal (Poison). Song: "Nothin' But a Good Time." Sung by: Blonda, Heffer, Larry, Taotie, and Sanjay. / Blonda: "Now Listen; not a dime, I can't pay my rent! I can barely make it through the week!" Heffer: "Saturday night, I'd like to meet my girl, but right now, I can't make ends meet." Taotie: "I'm always working, slaving every day! Gotta get a break from that same old, same old." Larry: "I need a chance just to get away! If you could hear me think, this is what I'd say!" Blonda and Heffer: "Don't need nothing but a good time! How can I resist?! Ain't looking for nothing but a good time, and it don't get better than this!" Taotie: "They say I spend my money on women and wine!" Larry: "But I couldn't tell you where I spent last night." Heffer: "I'm really sorry about the shape I'm in. I just like my fun every now and then." Taotie: "I'm always working, slaving every day! Gotta get a break from that same old, same old." Sanjay: "I need a chance just to get away! If you could hear me think, this is what I'd say!" Blonda and Heffer: "Don't need nothing but a good time! How can I resist?! Ain't looking for nothing but a good time, and it don't get better than this!" Taotie: "You see I, raise a toast to all of us, who are breaking our backs every day! If wanting the good life is such a crime; oh, then put me away! Here's to ya!" (Instrumental solo) Blonda and Heffer: "Don't need nothing, but a good time! How can I resist? Ain't looking for nothing but a good time, and it don't get better than this! Don't need nothing, but a good time! How can I resist?!" (Heffer's weight causes the ice beneath him to break, causing Heffer and Sanjay to fall THROUGH it, but Blonda manages to jump away just in time, but she unintentionally CRACKS the frame of the painting as she lands!) Taotie: "Ain't looking for nothing, but a good time! And it don't get better than this! It don't get better!" / The audience applauds and laughs loudly, while Blonda claps sarcastically. Blonda says: “VERY funny! Let's all LAUGH at the lady who CRACKED the painting!” Darwin says: “Next up, Globitha and Robot! Since you both left the show together, you can question Bulma together!” Globitha says: “I'm sure we both want to ask the same question! Why did YOUR team choose to eliminate ME?! It's not like I was the biggest THREAT to your team!” Bulma says: “Look, that much is true. But I had to consider my options carefully. If our team got rid of a REAL threat, like Dudley from Team TUFF, it would have riled up the REST of you, and would've been a DISASTER for my team, as you would have been motivated to win more challenges! Besides, nobody TOLD Robot to quit WITH you! He chose THAT on his own!”

Robot says: “But you knew that I truly LOVED her, DIDN'T you?! You knew that I wouldn't want to continue on in the show without her! So you eliminated HER, to get to ME!!!!” Bulma says: “Not that YOU were important enough to be worried about, but the move was purely about keeping MY team intact, and taking a pot-shot at Team TUFF!” Robot says: “That was a LOUSY move!” Globitha says: “And quite frankly, YOU were a LOUSY contestant this season! No further questions!” Robot says: “No further questions from me, either!” Eliza says: “Which means that it's time for the next song on our countdown! And it comes from the episode where Globitha and Robot were eliminated and/or quit the game! Here's a rocking song from the Area 51 Challenge episode!” /

9. Genre: 1980's Rock. Sub-Genre: Jefferson Starship. Song: "Layin' It on the Line." Sung by: Cast! / Zarbon: "You see it every day in every way." Bulma: "We all hear the same routines, they all say that it's okay." Spongebob: "Just let us take care of everything!" Patrick: "So we lay it on the line!" Robot and Globitha: "Layin' it on the line! (Layin' it on the line). Layin' it all (Right on the line!) Just layin' it on the line. (Layin' it on the line!) Layin' it all." Larry: "We're living on the front line." Stimpy: "I can see it in the faces." Marlene: "We gotta trouble in the streets tonight, and power keeps us in our places!" Captain Retro: "It doesn't matter if you're left or right, you lay it on the line!" Dog and Randolph: "Layin' it on the line! (Layin' it on the line.) Just layin' it all (Right on the line!) Layin' it on the line. (Layin' it on the line!) Layin' it all (Right on the line!)" Rocko: "Take it to the wilderness!" Reggie: "Into the jungle sun!" Daggett: "Looking for the voice of reason inside this Babylon." Norbert: "Got U.S. boys on foreign soil, spillin' their blood to keep the peace." Taotie: "Cities will vanish in turmoil, while the sheiks lay sleeping on the beach!" Phoebe: "We lay it on the line!" Gonard and Monster: "Layin' it on the line. (Layin' it on the line!) Layin' it all (Right on the line!) Just layin' it on the line. (Layin' it on the line!) Layin' it all (Right on the line!") Po and Tigress: "Layin' it on the line. Just layin' it on, layin' it on the line! Layin' it on." Cast: "Layin' it on the line. Just layin' it on, layin' it on the line. Layin' it on!" / And the epic song ends. / The audience applauds loudly, and Darwin says: “Buhdeuce, King Julien, the both of you are up next! Ask Bulma anything APPROPRIATE that you want!” Buhdeuce says: “Don't know why you had to emphasize THAT word to us! Bulma, it LITERALLY made no sense to eliminate EITHER of us in that Big Sur challenge! We actually TRIED to help our team win! Blonda was the one who COST us THAT challenge!” Blonda says: “Fake NEWS!!!!” Captain Retro says: “That strategy only WORKED, and NOT very well, I might add, for ONE person! YOU are NOT that person! And the sooner you accept that, the better off you'll BE for it!” Buhdeuce says: “Look, did you VOTE me off because of all the QUESTIONABLE things that happened on the Breadwinners show? Or did you just GENUINELY not LIKE anything I did?!” Bulma says: “I don't EVEN have to ANSWER that!” Buhdeuce says: “I want the TRUTH!” Bulma says: “You can't HANDLE the TRUTH!” Buhdeuce says: “Try me!” Bulma says: “Fine! It was BOTH!!!! I didn't like you, OR your show! Does THAT disappoint YOU?!” Buhdeuce says: “Honestly? It would've been BETTER, if you had actually vote me off for doing something WRONG, than just simply HATING me! No further questions!”

King Julien asks: “And what were you THINKING in voting me OFF?! I am an actual lemur king! We're talking ROYALTY here!” Bulma says: “You were also FULL of yourself, obsessed with Skipper, and just wanted to PARTY!” King Julien asks: “And what's wrong with partying?!” Bulma says: “I can't answer that, without going into a LENGTHY explanation of EVERY single mistake you have EVER made either in YOUR movies, or on YOUR show, OR as a contestant! And trust me, I kept careful TRACK!” King Julien says: “Your problem is that you only WANT to see the FLAWS in others, and NOT find the virtues they have within! Honestly; I almost feel SORRY for you!” Captain Retro says: “The key word being; ALMOST!” Bulma says: “Like he ASKED for YOUR opinion!” King Julien says: “But at least I VALUE it, unlike YOU! No further questions!” Blonda nervously asks: “You're not going to play that ANNOYING song that Bulma sang in the Olympics Challenge, are you?” Eliza says: “Fortunately for you, that song does NOT appear on our countdown! Instead, let us go to Phoebe and Monster, who get to question Bulma Briefs next! Phoebe, do you have anything to ask?”

Phoebe says: “Just one question. How did you EVER get the NERVE to do all the things you DID to everyone this season?!” Bulma says: “I was DESPERATE to get that Clean Slate! I'm sure YOU would understand! You were SO desperate to get a trophy that looked like Emily Dickinson, you PLAGIARIZED someone's anonymous poem!” Phoebe says: “Which I felt TOTALLY ashamed of, after the fact! The difference between you and ME, is that I can ADMIT when I did something wrong, and take personal RESPONSIBILITY for my actions! Was YOUR mistake SO bad that you needed to DO what you did to SO many contestants this season?!” Bulma says: “First of all, I never actually targeted YOU! You weren't even on my Danger Radar; metaphorically speaking! Second thing; if you SAW that incident, you would UNDERSTAND why I went to so much trouble!” Phoebe says: “I doubt it! Prove it!” Bulma says: “I WON'T!” Captain Retro says: “I can! Basically, she had the ORIGINAL 'Wardrobe Malfunction', if you catch my drift! In front of an audience of hundreds, and that's only the in-studio audience, there was a mass of people who saw Bulma's bloomers!” Bulma, SHOCKED about this, simply says: “I have; no comment!” Phoebe says: “Still doesn't make what you DID any better! No further questions!” Bulma asks: “And what does Monster have to say to me?! Are YOU going to get MAD at me, to?!” Monster says: “Do you think I'm THAT type of guy?! I don't WISH to get mad! Merely to understand! In all the time that you planned the elimination's of others, figuring out humiliating facts and humiliating ways to eliminate others, did it ever OCCUR to you that there was a CHANCE that your STRATEGY was going to FALL all apart?!” Bulma scoffs, and says: “Absolutely not! If I had THOUGHT there was a CHANCE my plan wasn't going to work, I NEVER would've gone through with it in the FIRST place!” Captain Retro says: “And that's the BIGGEST reason why you failed! When you DON'T plan for the impossible, it ALWAYS becomes INEVITABLE, that something BAD will happen to YOU, and all your carefully well-laid plans!” Bulma says: “Maybe you haven't noticed, but I don't LIKE failures!” Captain Retro says: “This might come as a surprise to you, but I'm afraid that failure is just something you're going to have to deal with in life. Besides, it's only BY failing that you can LEARN from your mistakes and grow emotionally and intellectually!” Monster says: “Exactly! None of us may LIKE failing! But at LEAST we can accept it and move ON from it! No further questions!” Darwin says: “Which means that it's time for the next song in our countdown!” Bulma says: “It's about TIME that I caught a BREAK!” Eliza says: “It's a song that comes from our United Kingdom episode challenge! It's only rock and roll, but we LIKE it!” /

8. Genre: The Rolling Stones. Sub-Genre: Rock and Roll. Song: "I Know It's Only Rock and Roll (But I Like It!)" / Sung by: Cast! / Zarbon: “If I could stick my hand in my heart and spill it all over the stage, would it satisfy ya, would it slide on by ya, would you think the boy is strange? Ain't he strange?” Blonda to Monster: “If I could win ya, if I could sing ya a love song so divine, would it be enough for your cheating heart if I broke down and cried? If I cried?” Team Retro: “I said, I know it's only rock 'n roll but I like it. I know it's only rock 'n roll but I like it, like it, yes, I do! Oh, well, I like it, I like it, I like it.” Gonard: “I said, can't you see that this old boy has been lonely?” Taotie: “If I could stick a knife in my heart; suicide right on stage! Would it be enough for your teenage lust, would it help to ease the pain? Ease your brain?” Skipper to Marlene: “If I could dig down deep in my heart, feelings would flood on the page. Would it satisfy ya, would it slide on by ya, would ya think the boy's insane? He's insane!” Team TUFF: “I said, I know it's only rock 'n roll but I like it. I know it's only rock 'n roll but I like it, like it, yes, I do! Oh, well, I like it, yeah, I like it, I like it.” Wally: “I said, can't you see that this old boy has been lonely?”

Blonda to Bulma: “And do ya think that you're the only girl around?” Bulma to Blonda: “I bet you think that you're the only woman in town.” Team S.R.R.R.C.: “I said, I know it's only rock 'n roll but I like it. I said, I know it's only rock 'n roll but I like it. I know it's only rock 'n roll but I like it. I know it's only rock 'n roll but I like it, like it, yes, I do! Oh, well, I like it, I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. It's only rock 'n roll but I like it. It's only rock 'n roll but I like it. It's only rock 'n roll but I like it. It's only rock 'n roll but I like it. It's only rock 'n roll but I like it. It's only rock 'n roll but I like it. It's only rock 'n roll but I like it. It's only rock 'n roll but I like it. It's only rock 'n roll but I like it. It's only rock 'n roll but I like it. It's only rock 'n roll but I like it. It's only rock 'n roll but I like it. It's only rock 'n roll but I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. Oh yeah, I like it!” / The audience applauds loudly, and Darwin says: “It's time for what might just be the most important former contestant to ask Bulma Briefs some questions! He's a yellow sponge who has been on the air for 19 years, give it up for Spongebob Squarepants!” And everyone in the audience applauds loudly at this! Bulma seriously asks: “You expect ME to be worried about some yellow sponge?!” Captain Retro says: “If I were you, and I'm SO glad I'm NOT, I WOULD be!” Stanley says: “Go GET her, Spongebob!” Bulma asks: “And just HOW, is Spongebob going to--?” Spongebob interrupts and angrily says: “Don't you DARE make SMALL talk with me! I am VERY angry with you! You DELIBERATELY utilized the elimination format of that Australia episode to get rid of ME, by utilizing Blonda in that tie-breaker challenge! And what's WORSE, you manipulated SKIPPER into THROWING that idea OUT there!” Bulma says: “Can I help it if Skipper is SO impulsive?!”

Spongebob says: “Patrick just SUFFERED a nasty HEAD wound! You KNEW he was confused, and by having Skipper THROW my name out as a TARGET to be eliminated, you KNEW Patrick would be SO confused from his head wound, he would ACCIDENTALLY vote for ME instead of Blonda!” Bulma says: “Look, if you were in MY position; would you ignore the PERFECT opportunity to get the OBVIOUS Under the Radar Winner OUT of the competition?! You had the PERFECT Under the Radar Edit! You kept yourself SO unnoticed, that EVERYONE was going to IGNORE you, until it would be FAR too late to eliminate you, because by THAT point, it would just waste a VOTE! That's why I had to get rid of you BEFORE the Team Merge, when it was STILL possible to eliminate you! And, SPOILER alert! Even if you HAD beaten Blonda in the Tie-Breaker, the rest of our team STILL would've banded AGAINST you, in order to vote YOU off!” Spongebob rhetorically asks: “By saying that I was responsible for Blonda LOSING, and therefore nullifying ANY possible immunity?! You are SO blatantly PREDICTABLE, in retrospect! I can't BELIEVE that you felt threatened by ME, of ALL contestants!” Bulma asks: “Tell me, how ELSE could I compete with your ENORMOUS popularity?! Even MY show had difficulty beating YOURS in the ratings!” Spongebob says: “That's NO excuse for engineering MY elimination! Also, expect ME to root for a contestant in the Final Five, who is the COMPLETE antithesis of everything YOU were this season! No further questions!” Eliza says: “Which means that it's time for the next song in our countdown, and it's VERY appropriate, for describing the majority of Bulma's actions this entire season, as it comes from the episode where Spongebob was eliminated, in the Australia episode!” /

7. Genre: Hard Rock. Sub-genre: INXS. Song: “Devil Inside.” Sung by: Team Sniz is Really, Really, Really, Cool. / During this sequence, lots of fiery and Satanic imagery is featured, mainly of Taotie and BULMA looking like the devil. / Taotie looks to Blonda and laughs: “Here come the woman, with the look in her eye. Raised on leather, with flesh on her mind.” Zarbon: “Words as weapons, sharper than knives! Makes you wonder how the other half die! How the other half die! Devil inside, devil inside, every single one of us the devil inside. Devil inside, devil inside, every single one of us the Devil inside!” Gonard: “Makes you wonder, wonder, wonder.” Bulma, to Skipper: “Here come the man, with the look in his eye. Fed on nothing, but full of pride!” Larry: “Look at them go, look at them kick! Makes you wonder how the other half live!” Taotie: “Devil inside, the devil inside, every single one of us the devil inside. Devil inside, every single one of us, the devil inside!” Blonda: “Here come the world, with the look in its eye! Future uncertain but certainly slight.” Skipper: “Look at the faces, listen to the bells! It's hard to believe we need a place called Hell! A place called Hell!”

Bulma: “The devil inside, the devil inside, every single one of us the Devil inside. Devil inside, the devil inside, every single one of us!” Taotie points to Blonda: “Here comes the woman, with the look in her eye. She's raised on leather, with flesh on her mind.” Zarbon: “Words are weapons, sharper than knives! Makes you wonder how the other half die! Devil inside, the devil inside, every single one of us, the devil inside. Devil inside, devil inside, every single one of us, the devil inside!” Taotie: “Devil inside, Devil inside, every single one of us, the devil inside. Devil inside, Devil inside, every single one of us, the devil inside!” Skipper: “The devil inside! Yeah, yeah, yeah! The devil inside! Yeah, yeah, yeah!” (Instrumental solo plays out, and the epic song ends). / The audience applauds loudly, and Bulma sarcastically says: “Isn't it AMAZING what they can do with C.G.I. Graphics these days?! Why is this TAKING so long?!” Captain Retro says: “It's kind of YOUR own fault! If you didn't want to FACE such a Humiliation Conga, you SHOULD'VE gotten eliminated SOONER!” Harvey asks: “A Humiliation Conga? What's that?!” Spongebob says: “No doubt some sort of writing technique that Captain Retro researched on TV Tropes, but I don't recommend using it until you're at least 12, Harvey!” Harvey says: “Man, it STINKS being so young!” Haggis says: “Wait until you're a lot older, than your body will BETRAY you in other ways! You better believe THAT!” Darwin says: “It's time for two more former contestants, to ask questions from Bulma!” Blonda says: “It's about TIME we got to THIS part!” Eliza says: “Both eliminated from the China challenge, give it up for Larry and Blonda!” Larry asks: “I was only ON your team for two challenges, so I can understand why you wouldn't be as willing to keep ME in the game! But if I had been allowed to face Blonda in a tie-breaker and win, would you have kept me on?” Bulma says: “Without a doubt, I WOULD have! I NEEDED Blonda like I would NEED a DISEASE! Besides, she was MAKING everybody on OUR team TRIP!” Larry says: “No argument there!” Blonda angrily says: “Oh, SHUT UP!!!!” Bulma says: “You're only angry that between the two of us, you STILL managed to come off looking WORSE than I did!” Blonda says: “I hope you don't expect ME to DIGNIFY that with a PROPER response!” Larry says: “All I know is, Bulma would've kept me LONGER over YOU! No further questions!” Blonda is miffed, but asks: “YOU think you're SO smart, don't you, Bulma?!” Bulma says: “I would HAVE to be, to outlast YOU, wouldn't I?!” Blonda says: “That may be; all I know is that I didn't actually LOSE in any ACTUAL challenge! It wasn't a FAIR elimination!” Bulma says: “There was NOTHING to save you, Blonda! As far as WE were concerned, you used UP all your chances to prove yourself by the end of the Big Sur challenge!”

Blonda says: “You only targeted ME, because you were THREATENED by me! You wouldn't have gone out of your way to get rid of me OTHERWISE!” Bulma says: “All I know is that if it WEREN'T for you, I wouldn't have been so FOCUSED on getting RID of you, and our team might have ACTUALLY made Team Retro come in last place!” Captain Retro says: “Not true! Taotie would've messed you up!” Blonda smirks and says: “See?! Even Captain Retro agrees with me!” Bulma seriously says: “Statistically speaking, I suppose SOMEBODY has to!” Blonda says: “Sheesh! Even when I'M the one grilling YOU; you're STILL the one who manages to irritate ME more! No further questions!” Darwin says: “Which means it's time for the contestants who actually made it to the Team Merge, this season! Taotie and Tigress, you're up next!” Taotie asks: “Bulma, did you actually LET me LOSE, just to get RID of Tigress?!” Tigress says: “SHE didn't just want you to lose, I wanted you to lose, because I believed YOU were the bigger THREAT to everyone on this season! If I had known that Bulma was actually only using YOU to hide her devious actions this season, I wouldn't have cost you that challenge! It's not like I enjoyed LOSING, either! But at least, I was able to accept it! And I will use the opportunity to grow and become a better Kung Fu Martial Artist!” Bulma says: “I HAD to sacrifice you, Taotie! How else could I possibly have gotten RID of Tigress?! If it wasn't for that Congo challenge twist; Tigress would've WHUPPED everyone else in the physical challenges! How could I compete against that?! Spoiler alert, I COULDN'T!”

Po says: “That wasn't NICE, getting Taotie and Tigress paired together like that!” Bulma says: “It wasn't SUPPOSED to be! I certainly couldn't beat Tigress in the athletic department! So I HAD to use my brains to figure out an alternative to my problem! Nothing personal, you understand!” Taotie says: “That was LOUSY what you did to me! And I ought to know; I KNOW lousy! No further questions!” Tigress says: “And as shocked as I am, I actually have to AGREE with him! No further questions!” Eliza says: “Randolph, you're up next.” Randolph says: “What really strikes me as weird, in retrospect, is why you kept your word with me. When you offered me $4,440 to drop out of the challenge in the Vietnam episode; why did you actually GIVE me the money after I quit?! After all, you could have just TOLD me you were going to give the money to me, and then NOT actually give the money to me after I had quit!” Bulma says: “I had two VERY good reasons for doing that. In the first place, I figured you would have raised TOO big of a stink if I went back on my word to you! That would have made Zarbon SUSPICIOUS about the validity of my motives with him, and I NEEDED him to be wrapped around my finger, lest he BETRAY me!” Zarbon says: “Because you KNOW full well that if I HAD known your true intentions, than ME betraying you should have been the LEAST of your worries!” Bulma says: “I'll talk to you LATER! The second reason, was that unlike SOME of my fellow contestants, namely Kaput, Taotie, and Blonda, I actually HAVE some standards! Besides, I'm RICH! I can give away $4,440 and not have it affect me in the slightest!” Randolph says: “I just STILL have a hard time believing that you did EVERYTHING you did just because of ONE little incident on a stage in front of a bunch of strangers!” Bulma yells: “It was HUMILIATING!!!! What part of 'humiliating' doesn't everybody GET?!!!” Randolph says: “The part where YOU felt that you had to invoke disproportionate retribution on US, who had never even SEEN the incident, by humiliating everybody you possibly COULD!!!! That's the part I don't get! And quite frankly, I don't care what kind of explanations YOU care to come up with it! It doesn't matter to me! No further questions!” Darwin says: “Which means that it's time for the next song on our countdown! It comes from the Vietnam episode, where Randolph was eliminated!” Captain Retro sighs, and asks: “Is it the song that comes right AFTER Marlene broke up with me?!” Eliza says: “Sorry, Captain Retro! It was kind of important in moving the plot of this season further along! But I hope the rest of you enjoy it anyways!” /

6. Genre: Michael Jackson. Sub-genre: Hard Rock. Song: “Torture.” Sung by: Captain Retro and others. / (Instrumental Opening) Suzie: “It was on the street so evil, so bad that even hell disowned it.” Dudley: “Every single step was trouble, for the fool who stumbled on it.” Chameleon: “Eyes within the dark were watching, I felt that sudden chill of danger.” Rocko: “Something told me to keep on walking; told me I should not have gone there.” Captain Retro: “Baby, because you cut me like a knife, without your love in my life.” Dog: “I'm out, I'm walking the night cause I just can't stop this feeling. It's torture, it's torture, it's torture.” Captain Retro: “She was up a stair to nowhere. A room forever, I'll remember. She said as though I should have known her.” Skipper: “Tell me, what's your pain or pleasure?” Marlene: “Every little thing you find here, is simply for the thrill you're after.” Stimpy: “Loneliness or hearts on fire.” Wally: “I am here to serve all masters.” Zarbon, to Bulma: “She said, Reality is a knife, when there's no love in your life.” Bulma: “Unmerciful is the night when you just can't stop this feeling. It's torture, it's torture, it's torture.” Gonard: “And I still can't find the meaning, of the face I keep on seeing.” Patrick: “Was she real or am I dreaming?” Captain Retro: “Did the sound of your name turn a wheel, strike a flame in me? Whoo-hoo!” (Instrumental solo) Captain Retro: “Baby, because you cut me like a knife, without your love in my life.” Reggie: “I'm out, I'm walking the night and I just can't stop this feeling. It's torture, it's torture, it's torture.” Rocko to Reggie: “She said, Reality is a knife when there's no love in your life. Unmerciful is the night when you just can't stop this feeling. It's torture, it's torture, it's torture.” (Instrumental finish). /

The audience applauds loudly, and Darwin says: “It's time for two beavers who are not just brothers, they also became each others best friend, and best partner that each other could have had for this season! From The Angry Beavers, it's time for Daggett and Norbert to question Bulma!” Daggett asks: “Bulma, it seemed to me like your entire strategy was to avoid as MUCH physical confrontation and exertion as possible, by relying on the strengths of others, and NOT trying to do things yourself! The things that Norbert and I said to you in the Valencia, California challenge CLEARLY unnerved you; so WHY not handle the situation yourself?!” Bulma says: “Heaven knows I would have WANTED to; but the Penalty Vote Rule was in PLACE by then! I wasn't going to risk a penalty vote just to give YOU a thrashing! Besides, Zarbon could DO the job so much better than I ever could have, and probably wouldn't have gotten hit by a penalty vote in either case, simply because of the way he looked!” Zarbon says: “In retrospect, it should have dawned on me back then that Bulma MIGHT have had an ulterior motive for using me the way she did back then! I'm deeply sorry!” Daggett says: “I'm glad SOMEONE is! I just can't believe that YOU'RE not!” Bulma says: “Well I can't BELIEVE that I'm actually HERE!!!! I should have MADE the Final THREE; minimum!!!!” Captain Retro says: “There are LOTS of things that SHOULD have happened, but they DIDN'T!!!! You can't keep DWELLING on the 'Should have happened'! You NEED to focus on what IS!!!! Only then will you be able to move on and develop into something better!” Daggett says: “I'm glad SOMEONE is explaining this to her! No further questions!” Norbert says: “Bulma, I can understand why you would feel THREATENED by ME; but I STILL don't understand why you had to also take my brother out of the equation at the same time! Did HE irritate you SO much; that you decided to keep on BIGGER threats to you in the competition, such as Gonard and Po, than let Dagget stay in when he WOULDN'T have been as much of a threat?!” Bulma says: “And RISK Daggett becoming CRAZY competent after YOUR elimination?! There's no telling WHAT Daggett would have done without YOU around to advise him! So I HAD to eliminate him in order to be on the SAFE side!” Norbert says: “All I know is, Daggett didn't LOSE, to somebody who was PHYSICALLY competent at playing this game! No further questions!” Eliza says: “And now it's time for someone who was MAJORLY responsible for bringing about the end of Bulma's game-play this season! Gonard, it's YOUR turn to ask Bulma some questions!” Blonda says: “This ought to be fun! I've got goosebumps just thinking about it!”

Gonard says: “Bulma; I know you think it was LOUSY of me, that I did what I did. I used the recorder to record your conversation with me, so that Captain Retro could play it back. But the real reason as to WHY I did that, is because YOU were being LOUSY to me, and to so MANY of your fellow contestants, even BEFORE I knew what you had truly achieved in this game! You belittled me, you disrespected me, you LAUGHED at all my attempts to IMPRESS you, and you NEVER appreciated anything I ever DID for you!” Bulma asks: “So if I treated you THAT bad; WHY did you keep TRYING to impress me?!” Gonard says: “Because I wanted to bring out the GOOD in you! That's what I do! I try to bring out the best in EVERYONE!!!! Why did you want to shut OUT the goodness inside of you?!” And for once, Bulma is at a loss for words! Harvey says: “Wow! She looks like a deer caught in the headlights!” Bulma finally says: “I don't know how to truly make friends. All my life, all I've ever had to depend on where my brains and beauty. Goku and some other people might hang out with me, but they don't truly know me. They don't know how it feels, to have my intellect, to have all the PRESSURE of trying to maintain a highly profitable and successful inventing business like the Capsule Corporation! All the expectations of having to live up to my father; I don't know HOW to open up to others! All my life, I've always felt like I was alone! Because, I've never been ABLE to relate to anybody else, on a social or emotional level!” Captain Retro says: “Maybe that's because you've never TRIED to relate to anybody! Is it because you were afraid of getting emotionally hurt? Is that why you've shut so many potential friends out?”

Bulma asks: “How could you POSSIBLY know that about me?!” Captain Retro says: “Bulma, this may be hard for you to accept, but it's practically impossible to go through life without getting hurt, either emotionally or physically. The trick to not letting it get to you, is not to AVOID having any relationships, but to know how to HANDLE them in a mature, and responsible way. And if somebody DOES try to intentionally hurt you, than they're not worth being friends with in the first place!” Bulma asks: “So what does that make me?” Captain Retro says: “If you're TRULY sorry, you can start by repairing all the pain and hurt you helped cause, and start doing GOOD by everyone else! Only then, will things start to change for the better, for you.” Bulma says: “I'm going to need a lot of practice, before I'm ready to try it out with everyone back home.” Gonard says: “I can help you out with that. Because I really believe that we can be ACTUAL friends, if you truly apply yourself!” Bulma says: “And just to let you know, I NEVER wanted you to get eliminated in the matter that you did! You did NOT deserve to suffer that way!” Gonard says: “I know it wasn't technically YOUR fault! That was Anti-Timmy's doing! No further questions.” Darwin says: “Which means that it's time for the next song on our countdown! This song comes from the episode where Gonard was unexpectedly eliminated, give it up for THIS rocking song!” /

5. Genre: New wave. Sub-genre: The B-52's (the band). Song: “Legal Tender.” Sung by: Bulma, Patrick, Dog, Zarbon, Captain Retro, Marlene, Suzie, Po, Skipper, Gonard, Dudley, Wally, Stimpy, Reggie, Rocko, and Chameleon. / Bulma: “We're in the basement, learning to print, all of its hot!” Patrick: “10-20-30 million ready to be spent, we're stacking them against the wall, those gangster presidents!” Dog: “Living simple and trying to get by, but honey, prices have SHOT through the sky!” Zarbon: “So I fixed up the basement, with what I was a-working with, stocked it full of jelly jars, and HEAVY equipment!” Captain Retro: “We're in the basement...learning to print! 10-20-30 million dollars, ready to be spent!” Marlene: “Walk into the bank, try to pass that trash!” Suzie: “Teller sees and says, 'Uh-huh, that's fresh as grass!' Grass!” Po: “Grass! Grass! Grass!” Skipper: “See the street pass under your feet, in time to buy the latest model getaway Jeep!” (Instrumental Solo) Gonard: “So I fixed up the basement, with what I was a-working with, stocked it full of jelly jars, and HEAVY equipment!” Dudley: “We're in the basement!” Wally: “So I fixed up the basement, with what I was a-working with, stocked it full of jelly jars, and heavy equipment!” Stimpy: “We're in the basement, learning to print, all of its hot!” Reggie and Rocko: “Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!” Chameleon: “All counterfeit!” (Instrumental solo, fades out and the epic song ends). /

The audience applauds, and Eliza says: “Well, it certainly wasn't easy, but every single remaining contestant managed to get at least one prominent line during that song! Po, I believe it's your turn to question Bulma Briefs!” Po says: “Right! Thanks to the conversation that Captain Retro recorded, we know PRECISELY how you handled all the eliminations PRIOR to Gonard's, but not Gonard's, and not any elimination after his! Did you have anything to do with MY elimination?!” Bulma asks: “How could I?! We were on COMPLETELY different methods of transportation, and Zarbon never CALLED me to ask me for any informational health! As far as I know, the only reason why you got eliminated, was because YOU punched Zarbon, which caused you to get hit with penalty votes, causing your elimination!” Captain Retro says: “Well, Bulma's actually RIGHT about this one! Although; quite frankly, I don't really blame you for punching Zarbon, for behaving the way he did!” Zarbon sighs, and says: “In retrospect, I probably deserved it for aligning with Bulma!” Bulma says: “Po punching you was NOT my fault!” Zarbon says: “I never SAID that it was!” Po says: “In that case, I have no regrets about my elimination. No further questions.” Darwin says: “Dog and Stimpy, you BOTH get to question Bulma next! Ask whatever you'd like to ask!” Dog says: “Will do! Bulma, WHY did you ask Zarbon to cover Stimpy in black paint?!” Bulma says: “That black paint was SPECIFICALLY made to counter-act the effects of the blue moon that night! Anyone covered in it, or TOUCHING it, would NOT be affected by the blue moon!”

Stimpy says: “So THAT explains why NEITHER of us went wild or savage when the blue moon went into effect!” Bulma says: “If you had gone wild and crazy, it would have been problematic for MY plan! After all, I had to PRETEND to be affected by the blue moon to, by pretending to be all romantic and nice with Zarbon, so that he wouldn't HURT anybody!” Stimpy asks: “You did that for us?!” Bulma says: “I might have been callous and cruel, but I wasn't STUPID as far as Zarbon was concerned! I knew that he needed to be kept under control for everyone's own good!” Dog says: “No further questions.” Stimpy says: “No further questions from me, either!” Eliza says: “Which means that its time for the next song on our countdown!” Captain Retro says: “Ooh! This is going to be a GOOD one!” Darwin says: “You know that it is! Coming from the episode where both Dog and Stimpy were eliminated in, give it up for this rocking number from the El Salvador challenge episode!” /

4. Genre: The Rolling Stones. Sub-Genre: New wave. Song: “Undercover of the Night.” Sung by: Everyone except Marlene and Dudley. / (Instrumental open) Captain Retro: “Hear the screams of Center 42, loud enough to bust your brains out!” Zarbon: “The opposition's tongue is cut in two, keep off the street cause you're in danger!” Rocko: “One hundred thousand jaguars, lost in the jungles in Central America!” Bulma, romantically: “Cuddle up baby, cuddle up tight, cuddle up baby!” Zarbon, seriously: “Keep it all out of sight!” Reggie: “Undercover!” Chameleon: “Keep it all out of sight!” Rocko: “Undercover of the night!” (Instrumental break) Skipper: “The fun police are out there on the streets, make sure the pass laws are not broken!” Suzie: “The rage militia has got itchy fingers, all the way from New York back to El Salvador!” Rocko: “Cuddle up baby!” Reggie: “Keep it all out of sight!” Dog: “Cuddle up baby!” Stimpy: “Sleep with all out of sight!” Bulma, romantically: “Cuddle up baby!” Zarbon, seriously: “Keep it all out of sight!” Captain Reto: “Undercover! Undercover! Undercover!” Wally: “Keep it all out of sight!” Cast: “Undercover of the night!” (Instrumental break) Wally: Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!” Patrick seriously: “All the young monkeys are being rounded up, and sent to camps back in the jungle!” Suzie seriously: “And people whisper, people double-talk!” Stimpy: “And once proud felines act so humble!” Bulma, romantically: “All the young girls, they have got the blues!” Zarbon, seriously: “We're heading on BACK to Center 42!” (Sees vicious sloths, and they keep running forward!) Captain Retro: “Keep it undercover! Keep it all out of sight! Keep it undercover! Keep it all out of sight! Undercover! Keep it all out of sight! Undercover! Keep it all out of sight! Undercover of the night!” (Instrumental break) Wally: “Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!” Stimpy: “Down in the bars, the girls are painted blue!” Dog: “Done up in lace, done up in rubber!” Skipper: “The guys are jerky, little, G.I. Joe's, on R&R from Cuba and Russia!” Bulma, scared: “The smell of sex, the smell of suicide! All these things, I can't keep inside!” Chameleon: “Undercover!” Zarbon, seriously: “Keep it all out of sight!” Reggie: “Undercover of the night!” Suzie: “Undercover of the night!” Stimpy: “Undercover of the night!” Captain Retro: “Undercover! Undercover!” Captain Retro and cast: “Undercover of the Night!” (Instrumental finish, and the epic song ends). /

The audience applauds loudly, and Eliza says: “It WOULD be Marlene's turn to question you next, but since she's back with Skipper on the plane, I think that instead, we'll let Captain Retro himself question you in her stead! That seems fair enough!” Captain Retro says: “There is no need for me to question Bulma Briefs. I already know her motives and reasons for doing everything she did, and I see no need for me to punish her on anyone's behalf.”

Bulma sighs in relief, and says: “Thank you, for showing mercy on me!” Captain Retro seriously says: “Which is quite frankly, more than you deserve, given on the way you treated so many of your fellow contestants this season! Besides, you've STILL got three former contestants to question you, that INCLUDES Snaptrap!” And Bulma gulps nervously! Darwin says: “Which means that it's time for the next song in our countdown! And it comes from the episode where Marlene was unexpectedly eliminated as a contestant! Fortunately, NOTHING'S going to stop her NOW!” /

3. Genre: 1980’s Rock. Sub-genre: Starship. Song: “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now.” Sung by: Skipper, Marlene, Zarbon, Bulma, Rocko, Reggie, Dudley, Chameleon, Captain Retro, Wally, Suzie, and Patrick. / (Instrumental Solo) Skipper: “Looking in your eyes, I see a paradise. This world that I've found, is too good to be true. Standing here beside you, want so much to give you this love in my heart that I'm feeling for you.” Marlene: “Let them say we're crazy, I don't care about that! Put your hand in my hand baby, don't ever look back! Let the world around us, just fall apart! Baby, we can make it if we're heart to heart!” Everyone: “And we can build this dream together, standing strong forever, nothing's gonna stop us now! And if this world runs out of lovers, we'll still have each other. Nothing's gonna stop us, nothing's gonna stop us now!” Captain Retro: “WOAH!!!!” Rocko: “I'm so glad I found you, I'm not gonna lose you. Whatever it takes, I will stay here with you. Take it to the good times, see it through the bad times. Whatever it takes, is what I'm gonna do.” Reggie: “Let them say we're crazy, what do they know? Put your arms, around me baby, don't ever let go! Let the world around us just fall apart! Baby, we can make it if we're heart to heart!” Everyone: “And we can build this dream together, standing strong forever, nothing's gonna stop us now! And if this world runs out of lovers, we'll still have each other. Nothing's gonna stop us, nothing's gonna stop us.” Zarbon: “Ooh, all that I need is you!” Bulma, thinking about money: “All that I ever need!” Dudley to Chameleon: “And all that I want to do, is hold you forever, ever and ever!” Wally: “Hey!” (Guitar Solo) Everyone: “And we can build this dream together, standing strong forever, nothing's gonna stop us now! And if this world runs out of lovers, we'll still have each other. Nothing's gonna stop us!” Suzie, about Otto: “Nothing's gonna stop us! Whoa!” Captain Retro: “Nothing's gonna stop us now! Nothing’s going to stop us now! Oh, no!” Patrick, about Pearl: “Hey baby, I know! Hey baby, nothing's gonna stop us now!” Chameleon: “Hey baby, woo! Nothing! Hey, baby! Nothing's gonna stop us now, yeah!” /

The audience applauds loudly, and Eliza says: “It's time for Wally; also sometimes called Admiral Wally, his Smartness, to question Bulma!” Bulma groans, and Bulma asks: “And just WHAT does the Rocket Monkey want to ask me?!” Wally says: “One important question; how could you THINK of doing something SO despicable as FRAMING Marlene for doing something SO heinous as sleeping with a bunch of contestants right BEFORE their eliminations?! Who do you think you ARE?! I think that out of ALL the despicable things you DID this season, that was one of the most heinous, bar NONE!!!!” Bulma says: “I felt INSULTED! That's why I DID that! And you're one to talk! You weren't exactly Mr. Competent when YOU had your OWN show!” Wally says: “At least I've LEARNED from my mistakes! I decided to become better and GROW into someone who HAS friends who accept me and like me for who I am! What have YOU learned this season?!” Bulma says: “Only that the thought that I could actually BEAT Captain Retro this season was a STUPID idea! I should have known that someone like HIM would have NEVER let me anywhere NEAR the Final Three!” Captain Retro says: “At least YOU accepted your defeat the FIRST time! Angelica had to be eliminated THREE times before she FINALLY got the message!!!!” And Angelica's face just glows red with anger! Wally says: “Well, I guess the important thing, is that you're here NOW, and you can FACE the consequences of your actions this season! It's the only way you'll understand that what you DID this season was WRONG! No further questions!”

Darwin says: “It WOULD be Rocko's turn to ask you a question next, but because both he AND Dudley are back on the plane with their partner's, we'll let that honor fall to the very FIRST major contestant who was BETRAYED by Bulma! None other than Verminious J. Snaptrap!” And Snaptrap flies in on a jet-pack, and lands in the middle of the stage! Snaptrap looks, and SEES Angelica all wrapped in bandages! Snaptrap says: “Angie! What happened to YOU, baby?!” Taotie says: “Heart happened to her, because she wouldn't keep her snide comments to herself!” Snaptrap groans, and says: “Angelica! How do you EVER expect bad stuff to STOP happening to you?! Don't act RUDE and disrespectful! That's just BEGGING for bad things to happen to you!” Blonda smirks, and she says: “SEE, Angelica?! Even your RAT of a BOYFRIEND knows better than to tempt fate!” And Angelica just GLARES at Blonda angrily! Snaptrap sighs and says: “She is SO stubborn, but I love her anyways; even if for no other reason that I KNOW that I will never be able to be with anyone hotter than her, because which other girl would be DESPERATE enough to want ME?!” Bulma says: “It's like my mother always used to tell me; 'Desperate guys DESERVE desperate girls'!” Snaptrap seriously says: “I wasn't DESPERATE!!!! Well...maybe a LITTLE, but that's NOT the point! The point I have to ask you, is WHY did you STEAL my microchip from me, and use it on Reggie?!” Bulma says: “Simple! I studied the potential of all the contestants VERY carefully, in order to figure out which one of them had the BEST chance of actually WINNING this whole competition, unless I HAPPENED to do something about it! The person I decided, who HAD to go FIRST, was REGGIE!!!!” Otto asks: “Why her?! Weren't there plenty of OTHER contestants who were more athletic and smarter than SHE was?!” Bulma says: “If you're talking about yourself and Tigress, that might be so, as far as athletics go, but the physical part of this game was only HALF the battle! You needed to be mentally fit as well!” Keswick says: “I figured that's why you had Snaptrap target Jimmy Neutron so early, but why didn't you target ME sooner?!” Bulma says: “Because you weren't a THREAT to me, yet! Out of all the contestants who had the potential to perfectly balance a physical game, along with a mental one, I figured Reggie Rocket had the best chance of doing that! She could be physical when she NEEDED to be, but she could ALSO play it smart when she NEEDED to, by saving her energy for future challenges when she REALLY needed to use them! Plus, there was one part of the game she could play, which I KNEW that I could never beat her at!” Harvey asks: “And what part of the game is that?”

Bulma says: “The SOCIAL part of the game! Reggie was physical, mental, and VERY social! From her past two seasons on the show, she had gathered a very GOOD group of friends, in spite of the setbacks she suffered, and the mistakes she made! Ren Hoek, Daggett and Norbert, Patrick, Bunny, Treeflower, Jimmy Neutron, Suzie Carmichael, Patty Mayonnaise, the hard to obtain Angelica Pickles friendship, Rocko for OBVIOUS reasons, Spongebob, Lil Deville, Otto for OBVIOUS reasons, Sandy Cheeks, Stimpy, Judy Funny, Haggis McHaggis, Pearl, Marlene, Larry, Dog, Twister for OBVIOUS reasons, Dib Bitters, Craig Slithers, Stanley Squarepants, Super Chum, Invader Zim, Sanjay Patel, Globitha and Robot, Phoebe, Tigress, Randolph, Po, Wally, and Captain Retro! That's 37 friends! There was no possible WAY I could beat THAT if the choice for the ultimate winner came down to a vote-off! So, I HAD to steal Snaptrap's micro-chip! It was the only way I could ALTER Reggie's performance to be...less than stellar! By manipulating her emotions, it would make her think LESS clearly than usual, make her ANGRIER a lot easier, throw her OFF her A game, and get her eliminated a whole lot SOONER!!!! It was the PERFECT plan!!!!...Until Captain 'Butt-in-ski' had to RUIN it by FINDING Snaptrap's micro-chip! It was a good thing I thought ahead just in case, by making SURE that I wore gloves, so that no one would EVER suspect that I stole Snaptrap's micro-chip! So, in case the micro-chip was found, all the blame for Reggie's behavior would be pointed to HIM!!!!” Snaptrap asks: “But WHY did you let me take the fall?!” Bulma says: “You were already a liability for rigging Jimmy Neutron out of the game! You were EXPENDABLE by that point!”

Snaptrap says: “You NEVER gave me a CHANCE!!!!” Bulma asks: “To do what?! To horrendously FAIL at being EVIL in THIS game like you have ALWAYS been at trying to stop DUDLEY and his friends from stopping your acts of PETTY evil in Petropolis?! Fat CHANCE!!!!” Snaptrap says: “You might know a lot of things, but you REALLY stink when it comes to being friendly and sociable with others! At least I have three friends who follow me, and a girl who LIKES me despite the fact that I'm a rat! No further questions!” Eliza says: “Last, but certainly not LEAST to ask you a question; it is Zarbon, who stayed by your side longer than anyone else, and yet; STILL was betrayed in the end, by YOU! Zarbon, what would you like to ask Bulma the most?” Zarbon says: “I have plenty of things that I would like to ask! First off, how could you USE me the way you did?! Asking me to do SO many nasty things for you this season was ONE thing; but when YOU decide that you didn't WANT me in the competition any longer, YOU go to Captain Retro to BEG for his help, by accusing ME of ABUSING you?! How SICK were you when you DID that to me?!” Bulma asks: “How ELSE was I supposed to CONVINCE Captain Retro to get RID of you?! If any of us just TRIED to 'just' vote you off, you would've gone all ballistic and KILLED everybody, because you were SO thoroughly convinced that you were TOO perfect to be voted off! Having Captain Retro cripple you was the ONLY way to make SURE the rest of us would be safe from your wrath! However, I had no way of KNOWING that Captain Retro had no INTENTION of ACTUALLY fighting you, and let Chameleon do it FOR him! I admit, it WAS pretty smart that Chameleon didn't SPAM his usage of his Transformation Suit before that challenge, I FORGOT about that aspect, and didn't take that into my account of my plan!” Zarbon says: “It HURT me so MUCH when you DUMPED me in that Egypt challenge! Not just physically, but emotionally as well! I know that when it comes to people who look like ME may appear to have EVERYTHING, and would not CARE what others say about him; but I have actual feelings, and you HURT them!!!!” Bulma looks remorseful, and she says: “I honestly didn't THINK that what you said about your girlfriend was TRUE! I thought you made her up!” Zarbon asks: “Why would you THINK that?!” Bulma says: “I thought you were LYING!!!! I thought EVERYONE was lying to me, because who would be HONEST in a competition of this nature?!” Captain Retro says: “Spoiler alert; which I shouldn't HAVE to say, because it's not REALLY a spoiler, but MOST of us weren't IN this competition to LIE and USE others just because we COULD, we were here to have FUN and make friends, something YOU seemed to know and/or cared NOTHING about, BULMA!!!!”

Bulma looks remorseful again, and she says: “What do you want me to say?! Look, I admit that I was callous and cruel, I admit that I made moves that I shouldn't have made! And Zarbon, I know I could have been more sensitive to YOUR needs, especially when you were HEALING from the times you got punched in the face! So...(mutters)...I'm sorry.” Captain Retro says: “I don't think the contestants heard you all the way in the BACK!” Annoyed, Bulma says slightly louder: “I'm sorry!” Zarbon asks: “Pardon?” Captain Retro puts his LEFT foot on Bulma's right foot, and she sincerely yells: “I'm SORRY! I'm SORRY!!!!” And EVERYONE in the theater claps! Zarbon says: “That's all I WANTED to hear from you! No futher questions.” Darwin says: “Bulma, do you have anything to say in YOUR defense?” Bulma says: “Only that when you play around with the emotions of others, and emotionally hurt them without ANY regard to how THEY feel about what you've done, don't be surprised if someday, all the things you thoughtlessly said to them comes back to HAUNT you, in the most ironic way possible!” Eliza asks: “So, WHY did you do all the things you did this season?!” And Captain Retro unexpectedly gets up and backs slowly away from Bulma! Bulma just looks dumb-founded, and she honestly says: “I don't know?” (SPLAT!!!!) And a bunch of green SLIME is poured down onto Bulma Briefs as the classic “You Can't Do That On Television” theme plays in the background, and everyone in the studio laughs! Darwin says: “My gosh, that felt good!” Bulma sighs, and she honestly says: “Okay, I probably DESERVED that much!”

Eliza says: “Okay, Bulma, you've suffered enough. We'll get you and this stage cleaned up while we play the next song on our countdown! It comes from the episode where Zarbon was eliminated, in the Egypt challenge! We hope you enjoy listening to it, as much as Suzie Carmichael did singing it!” /

2. Genre: Dance pop. Sub-genre: Bananarama. Song: “I Heard a Rumor.” Sung by: Suzie Carmichael! / Suzie: “Who needs friends who never show? I'll tell you what you want to know. I could have saved a broken heart if I'd found out long ago. I'm just thinking about those lonely nights. Thinking about when I waited, when I waited for your call. Then I found out all my friends were right. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh; I didn't know you at all! I heard a rumor! Ooh, I heard a rumor. They say you got a broken heart! I heard it, I heard a rumor! Yes I did, boy, ooh, ooh, ooh! Now it seems they're telling me, you've changed your wicked ways. But should I give you a second chance? Baby, I'm too afraid! So you realize what hurt you made, and the love you threw away. How can I forgive or soon forget? Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, it's never going to be the same! I heard a rumor! Ooh, ooh, I heard a rumor. They say you got a broken heart! I heard it, I heard a rumor! Yes I did, boy ooh, ooh, ooh! I heard a rumor! Ooh, ooh, I heard a rumor. They say you got a broken heart! I heard it, I heard a rumor! Yes I did, boy ooh, ooh, ooh! WOOO!!!! (Instrumental solo) I'm just thinking about those lonely nights. Thinking about when I waited, when I waited for your call. Then I found out all my friends were right. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh; I didn't know you at all! I heard a rumor! Ooh, ooh, I heard a rumor. They say you got a broken heart! I heard it, I heard a rumor! Yes I did, boy ooh, ooh, ooh! I heard a rumor! Ooh, ooh, I heard a rumor. They say you got a broken heart! I heard it, I heard a rumor! Yes I did, boy ooh, ooh, ooh! I heard a rumor! Ooh, ooh, I heard a rumor. They say you got a broken heart! I heard it, I heard a rumor! Yes I did, boy ooh, ooh, ooh!” / The audience applauds loudly, and Bulma is now sitting next to Lil Deville and Phoebe, because they are the ONLY contestants who will let Bulma SIT next to them! Bulma says: “Boy! I'm sure GLAD I never tried to blindside either of you!” Darwin says: “It's time for our last interview for this season! The caped, masked canine who helped make many of our musical moments on this season, give it up for Captain Retro!” And Captain Retro and Katie walk back on-stage to thunderous applause! Eliza says: “Captain Retro, this season has seen a lot of ups and downs this season!” Captain Retro says: “True, but I'd like to think that the highs in this season, FAR outnumber the lows we might have seen! I know that some of the things that some of the people might not have liked about this season, were partially my doing. Some intention, but many of them NOT intention at all! Part of my reason for entering this season was to promote myself, but I genuinely wanted to help this season out, and make it as dynamic and as interesting as I possibly could! And I must admit, I learned a lot about myself, and others this season, that I never thought I would learn!”

Darwin asks: “So why not try to stay in the competition until the very end?” Captain Retro says: “I found something a lot better than money. I found real, true love, with someone who loves me just for being me. Not because I have all my superhero abilities, but because I'm a genuinely nice, kind, caring person, who likes someone who has similar likes, interests, and musical tastes that I do. Isn't that right, Katie?” Katie says: “Well, we DO have plenty of common! And in our case, that's the way WE like it!” Eliza asks: “Captain Retro, now that you're out of the competition; who are you rooting for to win among the final five?” Captain Retro says: “It's got to be either Suzie or Reggie; they're the only two members of Team Retro left in the competition.” Darwin says: “Thank you for your time. Please take a seat wherever you'd like.” And Captain Retro and Katie take a seat between Stimpy and Dog. Stimpy says: “Thanks again for letting me be in an alliance with you!” Captain Retro says: “Anything for a good friend of mine!” Eliza says: “Before we play our final song of this episode, we'd like you to show by a show of flags, who are you rooting for to win this season?! And Lil, you CAN'T choose 'Mad Dog Hoek'!”

Snaptrap, Invader Zim, Keswick, Kaput, Oonski, Blonda, Taotie, and Bulma all hold up Chameleon's flag; Haggis, Dib Bitters, Sway-Sway, Harvey Beaks, Guano, King Julien, Buhdeuce, Monster, Randolph, Gonard and Zarbon all hold up Skipper's flag; Stanley, Heffer, Spongebob, and Larry hold up Patrick's flag; Lil Deville, Judy Funny, Globitha, Robot, and Phoebe hold up Suzie's flag; and Twister, Angelica Pickles, Treeflower, Craig Slithers, Otto Rocket, Sanjay, Tigress, Daggett, Norbert, Po, Dog, Stimpy, Wally, and Captain Retro all hold up Reggie's flag! Darwin says: “So eight former contestants want Chameleon to win; eleven former contestants want Skipper to win; four former contestants want Patrick to win; five former contestants want Suzie to win; and a record fourteen contestants want Reggie to win!” Harvey asks: “What about Katie, Zarasa, and you two?” Eliza says: “Sadly, we're not allowed to vote. But here's the big TWIST for the night!” Sway-Sway asks: “What twist?!” Darwin says: “The flags you picked, must now be FOUND by your selected contestants, in the NEXT challenge! Wanda?!” Wanda says: “You've got it!” And with a wave of her wand, everyone who picked Chameleon, has their flags turn to white, and have their faces put on it! Everyone who picked Skipper, has their flags turn to yellow, and have their faces put on it! The four contestants who picked Patrick, have their flags turn to purple, and have their faces put on it! The five contestants who picked Suzie, have their flags turn to blue, and have their faces put on it! And everyone who picked Reggie, have their flags turn to green, and have their faces put on it! Eliza says: “Wanda, hide the flags!” Wanda says: “Done and DONE!!!!” And Wanda waves her wand, and all the flags disappear! Buhdeuce asks: “What happened to all the flags?!” Darwin says: “Sorry, Sniz's orders for the next challenge! When the Final Five get to their next location, they must locate ALL of their flags in the next challenge, and whoever finishes the challenge LAST is automatically eliminated! So there's absolutely NO pressure for the contestants you picked!” Monster says: “That's gonna be extra tough for Skipper and Reggie, since MORE contestants picked THEM over the others!” Eliza says: “Don't worry about it! If the contestant you picked makes it to the final three, those flags WILL come into play again! How, you might ask? That, we're keeping a secret for when the time comes! For now, it's time for our final song of this episode! The song that come's from the episode where Bulma was eliminated, here is our number one song for this countdown!”

1. Genre: Pop Rock. Sub-genre: Cher. Song: “Just like Jesse James.” Sung by: The current contestants! / The current contestants surround Bulma Briefs, as they are all brandishing a paintball gun. / Captain Retro: “You're strutting into town like you're slinging a gun.” Bulma: “You’re just a small town dude with a big city attitude. Honey, are you looking for some trouble tonight? Well, all right! You think you're so bad, drive the women folk wild. Shoot them all down with the flash of your pearly smile.” Captain Retro: “Honey, but you met your match tonight. Oh, that's right!” Skipper: “You think you'll knock me off my feet until I'm flat on the floor. Until my heart is crying ‘Uncle’ and I'm begging for more!” Suzie: “So come on baby, come on baby; come on baby, show me what that loaded gun is for!” (Shoots Bulma!) Reggie: “If you can give it, I can take it. Cause, if this heart is gonna break it's gonna take a lot to break it!” Bulma: “I know tonight, somebody's gonna win the fight!” Captain Retro: “So if you're so tough, come on and prove it. Your heart is down for the count, and you know you're gonna lose it! Tonight you're gonna go down in flames, just like Jesse James!” (Shoots Bulma!) Chameleon: “You're an outlaw lover and I'm after your hide. Well you ain't so strong, won't be long until your hands are tied!” (Shoots Bulma!) Patrick: “Tonight, I'm gonna take you in dead or alive, that's right! You break the laws of love in the name of desire.” Bulma: “Take ten steps back, because I'm ready, baby!” Captain Retro: “Aim and fire! (Shoots Bulma) Baby, there's nowhere you can run tonight! Ooh, that's right! Well, you've had your way with love, but it's the end of the day. Now, a team of wild horses couldn't drag my heart away! So come on baby, come on, baby; come on baby, you know there ain't nothing left to say. If you can give it, I can take it. Cause, if this heart is gonna break it's gonna take a lot to break it!” Bulma: “I know tonight, somebody's gonna win the fight.” Captain Retro: “So if you're so tough, come on and prove it. Your heart is down for the count, and you know you're gonna lose it. Tonight you're gonna go down in flames, just like Jesse James!” (Shoots Bulma)

[INSTRUMENTAL BREAK] Patrick: “You think you'll knock me off my feet until I'm flat on the floor. Until my heart is crying ‘Uncle’ and I'm begging for more! So come on baby, come on baby; come on baby, come on! If you can give it, I can take it! Cause if this heart is gonna break, it's gonna take a lot to break it!” (Shoots Bulma!) Bulma: “I know tonight, somebody's gonna win the fight!” Captain Retro: “So if you're so tough, come on and prove it. Your heart is down for the count, and you know you're gonna lose it! Tonight you're gonna go down in flames, just like Jesse James! (Shoots Bulma!) Tonight you're gonna go down in flames, just like Jesse James!” All Current Contestants except Bulma: “Tonight you're gonna go down in flames, just like Jesse James!” (They ALL shoot Bulma!) Skipper: “I'm gonna shoot you down Jesse James!” / The audience applauds loudly, and Darwin says: “That's all the time we have today! Stay tuned, because in just four more episodes, everyone all over the world will finally find out, who will wind up as the grand champion, of Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” Captain Retro says: “Enough said, true believers!” /

Episode Notes: No new songs for this episode, but with 20 songs total, this marks the most songs that ANY episode has featured in this season by FAR! It is learned in this episode that Zarbon's girlfriend is REAL, and her name is Zarasa. Angelica is STILL being affected by the Heart curse, as she is once again SEVERELY injured after a song originally performed by Heart, is played in this episode. / Personal Notes: Seeing as this was the last Performance Review of the season, I wanted to make it BIGGER than any other Performance Review I have done so far, and what better way to do that, than with 20 of my personal favorite songs FEATURED from this season?! And believe me, it wasn't easy to boil it down to just 20! As for the support of the Final Five contestants, and what it will mean for them in the next episode challenge? You'll just have to wait and see! That's it for my episode today! 

[4EverGreen]

Only four episodes left to go in Generation One of the “Total Cartoon” series! Let's end “Total Cartoon Global Cruise” on a high note! / Sniz is in the cockpit, and says: “Last time on Total Cartoon Global Cruise,” an exciting race was held on all 551 miles of Pakistan's Karakoram Highway, which would result in determining who would participate in the Final Five! Six contestants were soon joined by six partners! Some were pleasantly pleased, Captain Retro was pleasantly surprised, and Suzie Carmichael was just surprised, for all the WRONG reasons! Because who should try to make her unwelcome appearance once again, except for Angelica Pickles?! I SWEAR, that lady is like a COCKROACH! She just keeps coming back no matter HOW many times you tell it, that she's not WELCOME!!!! But Captain Retro, put a swift end to Angelica's final, fiendish plan to win easy money, by subduing the beast with her fatal weakness, a song originally performed by Heart! And so, with Angelica out of the picture, Captain Retro and his partner, also took their leave from the competition! Now we are down to the Final Five Contestants! Chameleon, Skipper, Patrick, Suzie, and Reggie! They're all guaranteed to win some money, but only three of them will make it to the Grand Finale! Who will it be?! Stay tuned to watch the fate of the Final Five, on another globe-hopping adventure of Total Cartoon Global Cruise! I wonder, how exactly do you say that in Slovakian?”

Instead of the usual show open, the Final Five are shown in some of their most adventurous exploits during the course of the season, while a rocking song by David Lee Roth is played over the montage! / Genre: Hard Rock. Sub-genre: Glam Metal. Song: “Knucklebones”. Sung by: David Lee Roth! / (Guitar intro) David Lee Roth sings: “When the fire burns 'neath a zombie moon, you feel the winds of change. Oh, the drums will tell the tune! And you know it's true, baby! Can you feel the heat of the setting sun? It's burning up the streets. This beat has got mixed blood! And I know it too. But now her mama's got the eyes, like she's workin' on a heart attack. A fella never can tell! And I'm about to go bananas with the 'When ya comin' back?' So we're hittin' the road, and we're pumpin' thunder! Mama, look out for down below! Get the show on the road, it's the feeling we're under! You can feel it right down to your knucklebones! One of these dark nights, as the saying goes; there's some dirty work to be done down by the crossroads! And I know it's true! Ain't no use waitin' for your invitation! King Kong never had it so clean! We'll do the Fat Cat Shake! We'll have our cake and eat it too! You could never, no, no, no, never, beat this squeeze! Because we're hittin' the road and we're pumpin' thunder! Mama, look out for down below, yeah! Get the show on the road, and it's really no wonder you can feel it right down to your knucklebones! (Guitar solo) Ah, yeah! Wooh, must be the heat! Oh, oh! Stop dreamin' and start drivin', hey! (Guitar solo) Ah, Ah! Ah! Ah, ha, ha! So we're hittin' the road, and we're pumpin' thunder! Mama, look out for down below, yeah! Get the show on the road, it's really no wonder you can feel it right down to your knucklebones! Get the show on the road! Get the show on the road (yeah, yeah, yeah)! Get the show on the road! And you can feel it right down to you knucklebones!” (Instrumental finish!) /

“Just Like Paradise” / The episode begins properly, with the plane in transit. The Final Five and their partners (minus Suzie, who currently doesn't have a partner), are currently celebrating their good fortune in the First Class section of the plane! Skipper says: “We made it, we made it, we made the Final Five!” Marlene says: “Yeah, that is what I'm talking about! And to think, you made it all the way here, even without Captain Retro's help!” Skipper says: “You should really thank King Julien. If he hadn't have paid Sniz $30 million to put me back in the game, I NEVER would've gotten my third chance to be in the game!” Marlene says: “WOW! King Julien had THAT much faith in you?!” Skipper says: “Like you wouldn't believe!” Marlene says: “That just gives us MORE of a reason to try to WIN this whole thing! We owe it to King Julien to pay him back for what he GAVE to us! It's the least we can do!”

(Confessional) Marlene says: “The way I envisioned this season going, was me actually GETTING to the Final Five! Not just being Skipper's partner! But seeing as how this is the reason WHY I'm even here to begin with at all, I intend to make the best of things! After all, I can think of at least 40 million reasons to celebrate, and they all start with an American President known as George Washington! On the dollar, not the quarter!” / Skipper says: “King Julien told me himself, that the only way Sniz would allow ME back onto the show for a third try, was for King Julien to PROVE that he was TRULY sorry for the way the New York challenge episode turned out. Sniz estimated that we LOST about $30 million in revenue from the stunt we pulled together, so that's why King Julien GAVE Sniz $30 million out of his own pocket, from some of the money we made off of all those Madagascar movies! But at the very least, we'll STILL be at LEAST $10 million richer when all is said and done! The WORST we could do now, is to only walk away with $40 million! Which is still a pretty good payday if you ask me!” (End Confessional)

Chameleon is resting with Dudley, and Dudley says: “Chameleon, you've really done good by both of us. I hope you realize that.” Chameleon sighs in contentment, and he says: “Yeah. It's just SO incredible to think this could have happened to me! Friends, a decent popularity, being treated like a good guy; I accomplished in one season as a hero, what I NEVER could have achieved in a life-time of being a bad guy! Even THAT would've been a reward enough! But to get a reward and split it with YOU guys?! That would be the icing on top of the cake!” Dudley says: “As long as it's not a chocolate cake! Dogs can't eat chocolate!” Chameleon says: “Don't worry! We'll celebrate with ANY cake you want that DOESN'T involve chocolate in it at all!”

(Confessional) Dudley says: “When we started off, I could tell just by looking at Chameleon, like he felt like he had almost no chance to gain ANYTHING out of being in this season! In fact, he confessed to me that the only REAL reason he entered this competition, was to try to make friends. Something inside told me that becoming friends with him was the right thing! I think that was my conscience! Anyways, I did; and little by little, step by step, Chameleon has made it! Even if this is his last challenge, it will still give him, me, Kitty, and Keswick $10 million each! If that's not a good enough reward for becoming a good guy, than I don't know what is!” / Chameleon says: “Dudley is so soft, furry, cuddly, there's really NOTHING that I could possibly NOT like about him! He not only has confidence about himself, he gave ME confidence, that I never knew that I had inside of myself! I've become a good guy thanks to his belief in me, and for that, I will be forever grateful, for being able to join his team, and that's the honest truth!” (End Confessional)

Suzie is sulking, sitting by herself, and Patrick says: “Cheer up, Suzie! Things could ALWAYS be worse, you know!” Suzie rolls her eyes and says: “Would you PLEASE tell me just HOW things could POSSIBLY be worse?!” Patrick, unsure, asks: “Uh, are you being sarcastic; or are you being serious? Because I can honestly almost NEVER tell with most of you guys!” Suzie says: “Oh, I'd say I'm being about 70% serious, 30% sarcastic.” Patrick says: “Than in that case, the way things COULD be worse, is if YOU weren't here at ALL!” Suzie groans, and says: “But I want my partner! If it weren't for ANGELICA, I would HAVE Otto right now!” Pearl says: “You'll get Otto to join back up with you soon enough. Sniz wouldn't want you to finish this alone.” Suzie asks: “Like YOU two would be the experts on what Sniz would do? After all, Patrick DOESN'T have the best track record when it comes to being the main protagonist in good episodes of Spongebob Squarepants, you know.” Patrick says: “That's totally NOT my fault, you know! I have George Jetson JOB security! I'm at the MERCY of WHATEVER the writer's want me to do! I don't do what they say, I'll get fired and replaced!”

Suzie asks: “YOU would get fired and replaced?!” Pearl says: “It's not unprecedented! Ren Hoek got FIRED after season two of Ren and Stimpy, and Stimpy had to continue the REST of the series dubbing in Ren's lines, because the look-alike actor they hired for Ren didn't SOUND like Ren!” Suzie says: “I always DID wonder why the later seasons were so different from seasons one and two.”

(Confessional) Suzie says: “I always DID wonder why Patrick acts SO inconsistent as far as his acting behavior goes. It's the meddling writers of his SERIES that is to blame! I'm just SO lucky that I never HAD that particular problem! Although I DO wish that they hadn't treated Angelica Pickles like such a DIVA during her Rugrats days! Maybe THEN, she wouldn't BE so rotten and mean to everybody! In any case, it's not like I'm WORRIED about my chances; I'd just feel a lot better about them if I had Otto with me right now! That's all I'm saying!” / Patrick says: “I get LITERALLY next to no say as to how I get portrayed in various episodes of Spongebob Squarepants! And since I don't want to make the mistake that Ren Hoek made, by REFUSING to cooperate with the studio executives, that involves me often swallowing my pride, and doing things that I would often rather not want to do. I'm not always proud of how I perform in all of my episodes, but I always try to put in 110% every time I DO appear in an episode!” / Pearl says: “I'll give Patrick credit for one thing. It's not EVERYONE who can maintain their dignity while appearing in episodes that would degrade the attitude of many other actors and/or actresses. Patrick can do that, because he is a professional actor! That's one of the many things I love about him!” (End Confessional)

In the V.I.P. Lounge, Reggie is showing Rocko, pictures of her trophy collection. Reggie says: “This is the trophy I won in 2005, off of Seal Beach. Here's a trophy I won in 2006, down in Muscle Shoals, and here is a trophy I won in 2007, for the Daytona Beach open!” Rocko says: “That's really impressive, Reggie!” Reggie says: “You know, my brother wouldn't like to admit it, but I'm his BIGGEST source of competition, whenever we get into sporting events together!” Rocko says: “Sounds like you've had a competitive life.” Reggie says: “And that's putting it mildly! Tito always told me that you can't choose your family, you can only choose your friends. Which is why I'm SO glad I have such dear friends like you guys! It takes my mind off of all of Otto's complaining, whenever he loses to me.” Rocko says: “I'm always here to help you, Reggie.” (Confessional) Reggie says: “In fourteen years of competitions, I've traveled anywhere there are open waves, surfed in any current with big swells, and out-shredded any contestant who came up against me! But in all those competitions, I never got the sense that I was really getting anything out of it, because those competitions only tested me physically, and not mentally. This is the most exciting competition I've ever been in, because I've been tested physically AND mentally! I've passed all the tests that I've come across SO far, and now I'm in the home stretch! Just need to keep a good focus on these last few challenges, and I could win the whole thing! I just got to keep my eye on the ball...whatever THAT means, of course!” / Rocko says: “I'm not too worried about Reggie's chances. After all, this IS Reggie Rocket we're talking about! I may be a little biased about this, but I think she has a better chance than anyone else remaining! That doesn't mean it's going to be any easier for her, but I think she can handle it better than most other contestants could, if they were in her situation! We'll just have to see for ourselves how everything will turn out, as these final few challenges unfold!” (End Confessional)

Sniz is in the cock-pit, he pushes the intercom button, and over the loud-speakers, his voice is heard. Sniz says: “Congratulations, Final Five! Through hard work, determination, and other methods too numerous to mention, you have persevered past 53 other contestants, to make it all the way to the Final Five! First off, I've got some happy news for YOU, Suzie! Your real PARTNER is here! Last seen getting eliminated in the Mount Everest challenge, please welcome back Otto Rocket!” And Otto Rocket rides on a skateboard, out of the Cargo Room area! Suzie asks: “Otto?! When did YOU get back here?!” Otto says: “Just five minutes ago. Wanda poofed me back here from where I was, but Sniz said I had to stay put until he called my name. Needless to say, LONGEST five minutes of my LIFE!!!!” Suzie smiles, and she says: “Well, there's no need for you to be bored any longer! Because as long as you're with me, I can give you ALL the excitement YOU want!” Otto romantically says: “And believe me, I really LOVE the sound of that! I'll help you conquer ANYTHING that is thrown at you!”

(Confessional) Suzie fist-pumps in the air, and she says: “Yes! Now THESE are the odds that I'm talking about! For a minute, I was ACTUALLY concerned that Patrick might have an ACTUAL chance of BEATING me! But with Otto by my side? I don't think that's going to happen now!” / Patrick says: “Somehow, I KNOW that SOMEONE just made another insulting comment about me! What IS it about me that makes people want to DUMP all their negativity on me? Even Chameleon gets treated with more respect than I do, and HE used to be a villain! I REFUSE to stand for it any longer! I WILL get into the Final THREE, I WILL outlast Skipper, and I WILL get the respect I deserve, and the haters can just go to HECK!!!!” / Otto says: “In a competition, who has the best chance to win? It's OBVIOUSLY someone whose last name ends with 'Rocket.' Reggie MAY be the actual contestant, but I have a tougher edge! She may rule the waves, but I RULE just about everything else! Reggie may be my sister, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go easy on her! After all, this is my chance to prove myself as an ace athlete! And if I can do that by helping Suzie WIN this whole thing, that will make my break-up from Angelica Pickles that much SWEETER!” (End Confessional)

Sniz resumes, and he says: “Now that you are all present and accounted for, it's time to tell you about the situation at hand. As of right now, no matter what happens, you're all going home with at least $40 million in cold, hard, cash! But only three of you will be going to the Final Three to battle it out for the grand prize of $44.44 million! One of you will be leaving at the end of today's challenge, and it will be an AUTOMATIC Elimination! Whoever comes in last in this challenge, will have to pack their bags, grab their partner, and get out of her with $40 million in cold, hard cash! So, there will be no elimination ceremony this time! So, best of luck to all of you! It's time to reveal today's challenge! We will be going to Slovakia!” General Barracuda says: “And Sniz will tell you what you can expect for today!” Sniz says: “Right! For your challenge today, you will be going to the peak of Rysy, in the Tatra Mountains. You will start at the top at 8,212 feet above sea level, and descend to the mountain chalet of Chata Pod Rysmi, 7,380 feet above sea level. Once you've descended, you will be taken into the extensive cave system of Belianska. Once you're inside the cave system, that's where the REAL challenge happens! But first, let me explain the mechanics of how this challenge came to be. During our last Performance Review of this season, we asked most of your former, eliminated companions, who they were rooting for to win in the Final Five, by a show of flags!” Suzie asks: “Who won, Otto?!” Otto says: “Not you, unfortunately.”

Sniz says: “Snaptrap, Invader Zim, Keswick, Kaput, Oonski, Blonda, Taotie, and Bulma all held up Chameleon's flag; Haggis, Dib Bitters, Sway-Sway, Harvey Beaks, Guano, King Julien, Buhdeuce, Monster, Randolph, Gonard and Zarbon all held up Skipper's flag; Stanley, Heffer, Spongebob, and Larry held up Patrick's flag; Lil Deville, Judy Funny, Globitha, Robot, and Phoebe held up Suzie's flag; and Twister, Angelica Pickles, Treeflower, Craig Slithers, Otto Rocket, Sanjay, Tigress, Daggett, Norbert, Po, Dog, Stimpy, Wally, and Captain Retro all held up Reggie's flag! So eight former contestants wanted Chameleon to win; eleven former contestants wanted Skipper to win; four former contestants wanted Patrick to win; five former contestants wanted Suzie to win; and a record fourteen contestants wanted Reggie to win! And now, because of their choices, their flags, have now become YOUR flags! So Chameleon, you have to find eight white flags with your contestants' faces on it! Skipper has to find eleven yellow flags with his contestants' faces on it! Patrick has to find his four purple flags with his friends' faces on it! Suzie has to find her five blue flags with her friends' faces on it! And Reggie has to find all fourteen of her green flags, with her contestants' faces on it! Now, to be fair, all the flags have been hidden randomly by Wanda! No clues and no hints from us! But, your communicators DO have a flag-tracking app, which will alert you to when you are within 30 feet of one of your flags. It won't tell you where they are, just that they're near! And you must locate ALL of your flags in this challenge, and whoever finishes the challenge LAST is automatically eliminated! So NO pressure for any of you!”

Rocko says: “That's gonna be extra tough for Skipper and Reggie, since MORE contestants picked THEM over the others!” Sniz says: “Don't worry about it! Those flags WILL come into play again if you make it to the Final Three! How, you might ask? That, we're keeping a secret for when the time comes! Whoever gets to the Mountain Chalet first, will get a 10 minute head start before everyone else! But I should warn you, when you're in the cave system of Belianska, which is 11.946 feet long, you will be faced with temptations and/or dangers, that will try to thwart you from finding all your flags. And in case you're wondering Suzie, the answer is NO! This challenge is thankfully SANS Angelica!” Suzie breathes in relief, and says: “That's good to know!” Than the plane screeches directly to a halt, over the middle (and highest) summit of Rysy in Northern Slovakia!” Wanda appears, and she says: “You were RIGHT, General Barracuda! You could and DID stop this plane on a dime; literally!” General Barracuda says: “I wouldn't expect anything less from myself!” Wanda says: “Take this safety gear! You'll need it for repelling down the mountain!” And Wanda magically equips the contestants and their partner's with the safest mountain climbing gear that she possibly can! Sniz says: “You'll want to get down the mountain fast, but you also want to get there safe! I REALLY don't want to have to eliminate anybody via med evac this late in the game. It would be rather anti-climatic after everything you have ALL already been through!” Skipper says: “Don't worry! We're not about to let THAT happen!” Sniz says: “And before I forget, there's THIS!” (Beep! Beep! Ba-beep! Beep! Beep!) Pearl says: “I had a feeling that was coming up!” Sniz says: “According to some people, this place is Just Like Paradise, and I DO mean the David Lee Roth song of the same name, is what you have to sing!” Marlene says: “I've got experience with this one! So I'll start us!”

Genre: Hard Rock. Sub-genre: Glam Metal. Song: “Just Like Paradise”. Sung by: Cast! / During this sequence, the contestants and their partners repel down the mountain while they sing! (Musical intro) Marlene sings: “Rockin' steady in her daddy's car, she got the stereo with the big guitars, and that's all right!” Skipper sings: “Yeah, all right!” Otto sings: “I got the itch and a restless soul! She gone with the wind, gonna go for broke tonight, yeah! And that's all night!” Patrick and Pearl: “Girl, we've been meant for this since we were born (since we were born)! No problems now, the coast is clear (ooh)! It's just the calm before the storm!” Cast and Sniz sing: “This must be just like livin' in paradise (just like paradise)! And I don't wanna go home (and I never wanna go)! This must be just like livin' in paradise! And I don't wanna go home! Dig it, dig it!” Otto sings: “Suzie, Suzie, girl, for cryin' out loud; you got all the right moves! You make me eat my heart out nightly! Aw, that's all right with me, yeah!” Suzie sings: “No special favors, make it out to cash! We'll spend it later, got to make this romance last! And last! That's it, that's it!” Reggie sings: “Some folks say easy come, is easy go.” Rocko sings: “And some folks say, one night ain't enough for me! Girl, hang on tight and don't let go!” Cast and Dudley: “This must be just like livin' in paradise (it's just like paradise, hey)! And I don't wanna go home (and I ain't never goin' home)!” Cast and Chameleon: “This must be just like livin' in paradise (just like, just like paradise)! And I don't wanna go home, wow!” (Guitar Solo)

Chameleon: “Ho ho, ho! Aw, yeah! Whoo!” (Reggie and Rocko pull ahead) Cast and Reggie: “This must be just like livin' in paradise (in paradise, paradise)! And I don't wanna go home (and I don't, I don't wanna go)! This must be just like livin' in paradise (I'm never goin' home)! And I don't wanna go home (wow, 1-800-SEE-YA, baby)!” Cast and Sniz: “This must be just like livin' in paradise (just like paradise)! And I don't wanna go home (wow, hey, hey)! (Just like paradise, just like) This must be just like livin' in paradise!” (And the epic song ends as Reggie and Rocko get to the mountain chalet of Chata Pod Rysmi first! Over the communicators, Sniz says: “Congratulations, on making it to the mountain chalet first! It's time to get acquainted with your local mountain guide, who will guide you to the cave system of Belianska for the next part of your challenge!” And who should come out of the Mountain Chalet except for Gordon Quid?!

Gordon says: “FINALLY!!!! After 49 episodes of WAITING, I finally got a REAL role this season! We just need to wait for everyone else before we can begin!” And soon enough, the other contestants and their partners, make it safely to the Mountain Chalet. Gordon says: “I'm glad you're all here! Now, walk behind me, and step lightly and carefully! It's going to be a rocky walk to get to the Belianska cave system!” Otto says: “Don't worry about us! After dealing with the menace that WAS Angelica Pickles, I think we're ALL ready to tackle anything!” Suzie says: “You got THAT right!” (Confessional) Suzie says: “Honestly? Anything that occurs POST Angelica Pickles, will be EASY compared to all the agony and grief SHE put us through! Fortunately, we no longer have to think about her anymore! Now, I just need to focus on collecting my flags!” / Otto says: “Sniz mentioned something about distractions once we get to the Belianska Cave system. But since it's NOT Angelica Pickles, I wonder what else he has in mind!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “Well, it's going to take them awhile to get to the Belianska Cave system, but don't go away! Because when we get back, we'll figure out for ourselves, who is the best flag finder among our contestants, in this Slovakian edition of Total Cartoon Global Cruise! RICOLA!!!! I always wanted to say that!” (Commercial Break). / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now! 

Edited May 19, 2018 by 4EverGreen
Noticed some spelling errors.

[4EverGreen]

Sorry for the delay, I'm now ready to finish this thing! Here is the second and final part of my “Total Cartoon Global Cruise” episode, “Just Like Paradise!” I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it! / After the commercials end, Gordon Quid, the contestants, and their partners, are standing right outside the Belianska Cave system in Slovakia. Gordon says: “Here she is! The Belianska Cave System, and all 11,946 feet of it!” Patrick says: “Unless my powers of deduction fail me, that's equivalent to more than, two whole miles!” Otto asks: “Since when are YOU a math expert?!” Patrick says: “Maybe you forget, but I CAN be smart with the Brain Coral that General Barracuda attached to my head LAST season, lest you FORGET that important fact! The only reason I haven't been USING it this season, is because I've been holding back, trying to use only my OWN skills; but since NONE of you APPRECIATE or even give me the slightest PRETENDING of pretense of trying to respect me, I'm going to be USING it, in order to get myself into the Final Three! Maybe THEN, you'll see that I deserve to be here just like the REST of you!” Skipper says: “You'd have to beat Otto and ME first before you can do THAT! And good luck TRYING!” Marlene says: “Skipper, remember that little talk we had about tempting fate? Well, you're doing it AGAIN!!!!” Skipper asks: “Come ON!!!! Have I EVER tempted fate this season?!” Marlene says: “Yeah, TWICE!!!!” Skipper thinks about it, and asks: “What was the FIRST time?!” Patrick seriously looks at Skipper and asks: “Seriously? King JULIEN was your FIRST time!” Skipper asks: “You count THAT debacle?!”

Suzie says: “I'm surprised that YOU don't!” Gordon says: “Focus, guys! You all have a mission in this cave system! You have to retrieve ALL your flags! And don't forget, some of you have to collect more flags than the other contestants do! Fortunately, to make it fair, the contestants who DON'T have as many flags to collect, will find their flags spread MORE apart, so they'll have to look through the cave system just as much as the contestants who have a BUNCH of flags to collect! So, you all have an even chance of winning this challenge!” Chameleon asks: “We were also told that there would be certain distractions in this cave system! What exactly are we talking about? Gordon says: “That's something you'll have to figure out by yourself! It wouldn't be as challenging otherwise, if you KNEW what it was that you are SUPPOSED to be avoiding!” Pearl asks: “We can NEVER just get an easy challenge, can we?” Gordon says: “It wouldn't be as fun for the viewers back home, now would it?” Reggie says: “I'm not worried! I'm SUPER focused when it comes to challenges like this!” Gordon says: “Let's hope so! Reggie, you and Rocko got a ten minute head start, so make the most of it! And, GO!!!!”

Rocko and Reggie, holding bright flashlights, quickly run into the cave system, only to soon discover two large separate caverns to choose from! Rocko asks: “Which way do you think has the most flags?” Reggie says: “We don't even need to choose! Let's both pick a cavern, and that way, we don't have to double back! Mark your progress with a piece of chalk or something so you don't get lost, and we'll both meet back here once we've found all the flags we can find! Remember, we can't leave until we've found all fourteen of our flags!” Rocko says: “Right! And I'll keep in contact with you with my communicator!” Reggie says: “Be careful, Rocko! There's no telling WHAT our distraction might be!” Rocko says: “Will do, Reggie! See you later!” And Reggie and Rocko, hurry down the left and the right cavern respectively. (Confessional) Reggie says: “Nobody ever said that having the most support would be easy. And strangely enough, I somehow always find that the harder something is to win, the more excited I am to try to win! I guess it's just the competitive nature within me! And being a Rocket family member, probably doesn't hurt matters, either!” / Rocko says: “Statistically speaking, Reggie and I are both in a good place right now. Even so, we can't afford to get complacent, especially not this close to the finish line! The rest of our Retro alliance is counting on us, to divide the $44.44 million grand prize in 16 even ways, and we can't do that unless we get to the Final Three! So we owe it not just to ourselves, but to the rest of our friends, as well! So there's absolutely no chance that we'll let ourselves get distracted now!” (End Confessional)

Rocko runs down the cavern, but who should he ALMOST run into but HEFFER?!!! Heffer says: “What up?! It's so GREAT to see you again!” Rocko asks: “Heffer? What are YOU doing here?!” Heffer says: “I don't know. One minute, I'm sleeping in my hotel room, minding my own business; the next minute I'm awake, dressed, AND here!” Rocko thinks about it, and asks: “Wait a minute! Are you supposed to be a DISTRACTION?!” Heffer says: “I don't know! Nobody has told ME anything!” Rocko says: “Well, if you ARE a distraction; I'm sorry, but I can't afford to talk to you right now. Reggie and I are on a mission!” Heffer says: “You're on a MISSION?! Maybe I can help!” Rocko says: “Really?! What can you do?!” Heffer says: “Easy! I can watch your back, make sure nothing sneaks up behind you! Plus, with my steer instincts, I can ram ANYTHING that tries to hurt us! PLEASE, let me help you! I was a LOUSY contestant this season, but I really want to PROVE myself, by being a valuable asset to you!” Rocko says: “Well, an extra set of eyes certainly could only help! All right! You're on watch duty!” Heffer says: “Thank you, Rocko! You won't be disappointed!”

(Confessional) Heffer says: “The thing of the matter is, Sniz asked some former contestants to be distractions for Rocko and the others, but we're not allowed to let the contestants know that we ARE distractions! But truthfully; I don't feel comfortable BEING a distraction! I'd rather be a HELP, than a hindrance to my best friend Rocko! After all, he's done so many good things for me, it's only fair that I pay him back for them!” / Rocko says: “I'm pretty sure Heffer was SUPPOSED to be a distraction! Sniz probably figured that a party guy like him would be great at grabbing my attention and distracting me from finding our flags! But what Sniz didn't count on, is the fact that Heffer's best friend status with me, always override's any sense of partying that Heffer might want to do at any given moment! And accumulating a lot of good karma over the years, probably helps out a lot with that!” (End Confessional) Gordon Quid looks at a watch that he's wearing, and he says: “Reggie and Rocko's ten minute head start is over! Everyone else can go in right now!” And upon hearing that, the remaining contestants, and their partners rush in a mad dash to get in! They all go down the left cavern, but it doesn't take them too long, before they reach a section where the cave branches off into nine different directions! Pearl asks: “Now which way should we go? Things would be a LOT easier if we just had some kind of a hint!” Patrick looks over the cave branch entrances carefully, and he says: “Well, I know which direction Reggie went! She headed down in the western direction! She marked some chalk with a backwards arrow, indicating the way she should go out!” Skipper says: “So that means Reggie's already got a game plan! We should have one, to!”

Otto says: “I do! My game plan is, don't waste time talking to YOU guys, when I could be helping Suzie collect HER flags!” Suzie says: “Otto, WAIT!!!!” But Otto, not paying any heed, quickly rushes down a cave branch heading south! Marlene says: “Otto certainly is ambitious, I'll give him that!” Suzie asks: “What good is ambition if it gets him KILLED?!” Patrick thinks about it, and asks: “That's a rhetorical question you're asking, right?” Suzie says: “Yes.” Patrick fist-pumps in the air, and says: “YES! I'm learning!” Chameleon says: “Well, it's no use running after Otto. You know how he gets once he gets an idea stuck in his head; you can't talk him out of it!” Dudley says: “Hopefully, with any luck, he'll avoid facing any distractions, whatever those might be!” Marlene says: “And what are we supposed to do in the meantime?” Pearl says: “Pick a direction, and hope you're lucky! Patrick, you go left, I'll go right!” Patrick says: “Uh...right!” And they each go off in separate directions! Marlene seriously asks: “THAT'S their game plan?!” Skipper rhetorically asks: “Would you REALLY expect them to come up with something BETTER than that?!” Marlene seriously says: “Not really, no.” Skipper reaches into his bag of gear, and pulls out what looks like a laser device! Skipper says: “Take this red laser marker with you, and mark down the way out! That way, you won't get lost!” Marlene grabs it, and she says: “Thank you! But don't YOU need it?!” Skipper pulls out another one, and he says: “Kowalski ALWAYS packs me a spare! It's better to be over-prepared than under-prepared!” Marlene says: “Skipper, your game has REALLY improved dramatically!” Skipper says: “It was bound to, sooner or later!” (Confessional) Otto says: “My motto is; talk is CHEAP! But actions, are where the REAL money is! And I'm focused on earning up to $44.44 million in it!” / Marlene says: “I'll admit; up until now, I've been a little skeptical about the possibility of Skipper winning this thing; but he's really shown me that he really IS serious about going all the way! And if I can help Skipper cross the finish line, it will make all the ordeals we had to go through this season, totally worth it!” / Skipper says: “Kowalski once told me that anything worth doing, it is always worth it to do it well! And I plan on finishing this season VERY well!” (End Confessional)

Marlene heads off in a north-west direction, while Skipper heads off in a north-east direction. Suzie asks: “Chameleon, I don't suppose YOU can turn into an automatic flag finder or something, and spare me the AGONY of this challenge, can you?” Chameleon says: “First off, I wouldn't know what one would look like! Secondly, even if I DID, I wouldn't, because that would be a form of CHEATING! And I have resolved to play this game fair and square!” Suzie says: “Wow! You really ARE serious about this whole, being a good guy thing!” Dudley asks: “Don't tell me you were STILL doubting him?!” Suzie says: “I didn't get THIS far by being STUPID, like Patrick has!” Patrick shouts: “I HEARD that!” Suzie says: “Ignore him!” Chameleon says: “Noted. And I've never asked for anybody to forget about what I've done when I WAS evil, but I hope I can be forgiven, for proving myself here!” Suzie says: “Personally, I already have! But that doesn't mean I'm going to go easy on you in THIS challenge! I've got people I want to impress, myself! So, I've got just one thing to say, may the best animal or woman win!” Dudley says: “Fair and square!” (Confessional) Suzie says: “I don't consider myself skeptical, all right? I just need to KNOW that something is completely true before I believe it! I don't like rushing into things where I don't know the FULL story! Once I do know, I feel better about what I feel like committing to!” / Chameleon says: “Out of all the remaining contestants in this game, Suzie is the one I have the hardest time getting a read, for. Of course, that's probably the way she likes it! She doesn't wear her emotions all out on her sleeve, she keeps them to herself unless she needs to! And I can understand why she wants to play this thing safe, but there's no guarantee, that playing it safe will be the thing that will help her win this thing! As far as I'm concerned, I'm willing to take any chances to win this thing with Dudley! As long as I don't have to resort to ANYTHING that might involve cheating!” / Dudley says: “At this point, I can't tell if Suzie is just being LAZY, or if she's just trying to reserve her stamina, or BOTH!” (End Confessional)

Chameleon takes a branch that leads to the southwest, Dudley takes a branch that leads to the southeast, and Suzie takes the remaining cave branch that leads up, and towards the west. / Otto is running along, until he runs across Twister! Twister says: “Otto! You've certainly got a lot of SKILLS to make it THIS far! But do you have enough skills to out-shred the TWISTER in this CAVE?! Or are you too CHICKEN?!” Otto angrily shouts: “CHICKEN?!!!” (Confessional) Otto says: “Nobody DARES to call ME a chicken and gets away with it! I'll shred the Twister until there's nothing more of him to SHRED!!!!” (End Confessional) Otto says: “You're on, TWISTER!!!!” And they begin a mad, skateboarding competition throughout the cave system! / Skipper is running through the cave system, and he says: “That's strange! My communicator is picking up SIX of my flags grouped close together! But why?” Than a familiar puffin asks: “Were you SEARCHING for something?!” Skipper looks forward, and he sees his old rival, Hans! Skipper says: “Hans! I might have suspected YOU!” Hans asks: “Were you searching for some of THESE?” And Hans holds up SIX of Skipper's flags! Skipper says: “HEY! Those are MY flags!” Hans says: “I might be willing to give them up, IF you can beat me in solo combat!” (Confessional) Skipper says: “Yeah, I figured that Hans was probably a distraction! The thing of it is, he HAD six of my flags, and wasn't going to give them up without a FIGHT! I had to engage him physically if I wanted to get OUT of the cave with my flags! There wasn't any other way to go about it!” (End Confessional)

Skipper says: “Oh, IT'S on!” And they both engage in a FRENZIED flipper to wing combat! / Patrick is walking along, and he says: “It's a good thing my Brain Coral has gifted me with a superb sense of direction, I just HOPE that it allows me to find my flags without too much—OOF!!!!” And Patrick collides with some massive object DIRECTLY blocking his path! Patrick asks: “What is this?! Some kind of ROCK?!” But then he hears the object SNORING, and Patrick says: “Wait a minute! I know of only ONE object that can snore like THAT! Bubble Bass!” And sure enough, a camera SHOWS Bubble Bass lying in the path, just sleeping and being a nuisance! Patrick says: “Come on! Wake up! Get up! Scram! MOVE YOUR BUBBLE BASS for goodness sake!” But nothing Patrick says, seems to be working! Than Patrick gets an epiphany, and he yells: “Oh my GOODNESS!!!! McDonald's has brought back their Mulan Szechuan McNugget Sauce! Hurry, before they run OUT again!” Bubble Bass wakes up in a sweat, and he says: “Dear Neptune! They could sell out soon! I've got to go!” And Bubble Bass runs off in a flash, causing Patrick to smile! (Confessional)

Patrick says: “In the old days, before I got my Brain Corral, I probably WOULD have been stumped as to how to figure THAT problem out! But with my Brain Corral, that problem was like, nothing! Either Sniz gave me an EASY problem to figure out on PURPOSE, because he felt SORRY for me, or Sniz STILL thinks that I'm not CAPABLE of being able to get to the Final Three, and is STILL underestimating me! Well, in case anyone missed the memo, playtime's over! I'm not just going to roll over and LET anyone get to the Final Three! If someone DOES get into the Final Three, they're going to have to EARN it, by PROVING that they are at LEAST as good as me!” (End Confessional) Patrick says: “So much for THAT distraction! Now, maybe finding my flags won't be as complicated as THAT!” / Chameleon is walking along, and he says: “I may not be able to turn into an automatic flag finder, but at least my ability to turn into chalk and mark down the way to get out, is certainly helpful! Wait a minute!” Chameleon checks his communicator, and he sees FOUR of his flags grouped together! Chameleon says: “I thought my flags were supposed to be spaced out more evenly than that!” A familiar villain says: “They WERE, but I already FOUND them!” Chameleon says: “Verminious J. Snaptrap!” Snaptrap descends from the ceiling, and he says: “In the flesh and fur! It feels SO good to be able to do EVIL again!” Chameleon groans, and he says: “Snaptrap, don't you ever learn? Your plans NEVER work! You're so predictable!” Snaptrap sarcastically says: “You think I'm PREDICTABLE?! Than predict my MOTIVE for being here!” Chameleon thinks about it, and he says: “Actually, that I CAN'T do!”

Snaptrap says: “This might surprise you, but it wasn't MY idea to be YOUR distraction! Even after everything Angelica has done, General Barracuda STILL wanted her to be a distraction for somebody, but she said NO! So instead, Angelica and General Barracuda both asked ME to be a distraction instead! And maybe find some valuable diamonds and gems while I'm at it!” Chameleon says: “You KNOW I'm not going to let you STEAL the precious minerals stored within this cave system!” Snaptrap asks: “Are you telling me that you're not the LEAST bit tempted?!” Chameleon says: “In the old days, I might have been. But I'm no longer the VILLAIN you would ALWAYS make fun of; now I'm a hero who finally has the RESPECT that I've always WANTED!” Snaptrap fake-gags, and he says: “UGH!!!! You sound like a page from a self-help book! I'm going to shut you up ONCE and for all!” Chameleon says: “At least my significant OTHER actually KNOWS when to be quiet unlike YOU and YOUR so-called girlfriend!” Snaptrap says: “At least I can GET one!” Chameleon says: “If that was supposed to be a burn, than it failed. I'm actually PROUD of the relationship I have with Dudley!” Snaptrap groans, and he says: “You WOULD be!” (Confessional) Chameleon says: “Snaptrap is the epitome of stubborn AND stupid! He thinks his plans are SO smart when in reality, they begin with all the subtlety of a Tex Avery cartoon, and END with the smashing reality of a Chuck Jones cartoon! Snaptrap is a walking textbook of every single VILLAIN cliché that a villain can do, WRONG!” (End Confessional) Chameleon says: “You know I'm NOT leaving here without those flags!” Snaptrap says: “Than come and take them, if you can!” Chameleon says: “With pleasure!” And Chameleon transforms into KITTY Katswell, and Snaptrap says: “Not a CAT!!!! You're DESPICABLE!!!!” Chameleon says: “You brought this on yourself! And you did it WITHOUT even NEEDING a song originally performed by Heart, to do it!” Snaptrap says: “I'm NOT giving up without a fight!” Chameleon says to himself: “They ALWAYS have to do it the HARD way!” Chameleon than says to Snaptrap: “Well, I TRIED to warn you!” And they begin to get into a frenzied cat-fight! /

Reggie is using her skateboard to quickly travel through the cave system, to find her many flags! Reggie says: “Flag #1! Flag #2! Flag #3! Flag #4! Flag #5! Flag #6! Flag #7! I am on a roll! Seven flags down, and only seven more to go!” A familiar friend says: “That's great news, Reggie!” Reggie asks: “Sam, what are you doing here?” Sam says: “I thought this would be a great spot to brush up on my skateboarding skills! Could you show me a few tricks?” Reggie says: “I'm sorry, I can't help you right now.” Sam says: “Really, it won't take THAT long!” Reggie says: “Sam, I can't help you right now!” And Reggie continues skateboarding through the cave, and Sam says: “Call me!” (Confessional) Reggie says: “Don't get me wrong. Under normal circumstances, I would LOVE to help out Sam with his skateboarding tricks! But the thing of it is, I can't let myself get distracted. And Sam was unfortunately a distraction in that case. But I'll make it up to him someday. And that's a promise AND a guarantee!” (End Confessional) / Suzie is still walking around, without a single flag to her name! Suzie says: “UGH! It must have been at least an hour now, and I STILL haven't found a DARN thing! What kind of messed up person actually does spelunking for FUN?!” And a familiar voice yells: “WHOO-HOO!!!!” And Lil Deville does a backward leap in! Suzie asks: “Lil?! You're here!” Lil Deville says: “Oh, I'm not just Lil! Today, I'm also Mad Dog Hoek!” And in a Spanish accent, Lil says: “Mad Dog Hoek, is loco for BOOM-BOOM!!!!” Than Lil resumes her normal voice, and she says: “Listen! You want to find your flags FAST?!” Suzie says: “As a matter of fact, I WOULD like to get out of here as soon as possible!” Lil says: “Great! I have a plan to get you ALL of your flags in one fell swoop! Follow me!” And Lil skips forward, and Suzie follows her. Suzie says: “This, I got to see!” (Confessional) Suzie says: “Ordinarily, I wouldn't count on Lil Deville to give me directions from Paso Robles, to Bakersfield, California! But the thing of it is, I do NOT do grueling cave challenges, all right! Anything that can help me win this challenge quickly and HOPEFULLY painlessly, I'm all for it! And if it means putting my fate in Lil's unstable hands, than that's what I must do!” (End Confessional) /

Heffer and Rocko are STILL walking along, and Heffer says: “All right! Let's try it again! I spy my with my little eye...” Rocko says: “Another rock!” Heffer says: “You got it AGAIN!!!! You're like FREAKY psychic, or something!” Rocko says: “Wait a minute! I spy with MY little eye something we DO want to see!” Heffer asks: “What's that?” Rocko says: “Seven of Reggie's flags!” And he shines his flashlight, and the various flags are scattered far apart from each other, but still within easy walking and climbing distance! Heffer says: “All right! We'll win this challenge in no time!” Than suddenly, a bunch of BATS start swooping down from the cave, and Heffer says: “These BATS! They're everywhere!” Rocko says: “You distract them, and I'll collect the flags! I'm counting on you, Heffer!” Heffer takes out a baseball bat, and starts swinging around at the wildly flying bats! Heffer says: “Oh, SURE! Let ME do the hard job! That's easy for YOU to say!” (Confessional) Heffer says: “I'll tell you something right now, I'm not getting PAID enough to help my friend Rocko out in this challenge! Do you know what I'm saying?” / Rocko says: “I don't think I ask for much. Besides, Heffer should know that I'm going to share some reward money with him. It's the least I can do for having him help me out.” (End Confessional) / Marlene is walking along, and she says: “With all the cave that I have already seen, you would THINK that I would've found some flags by...hold it!” Marlene checks her communicator, and Marlene says: “It says that five flags are grouped together, and they are close by!” A party-filled voice asks: “Was someone looking for some flags?!” And Marlene asks: “King Julien! What are YOU doing here?!” King Julien says: “Just finding a new place to shake my booty! And get my royal groove on! I found five of your flags!” Marlene says: “If you could just hand them over, I would GREATLY appreciate it!” King Julien says: “I'm sorry, but I can't just do that! If you really want to EARN those flags, you'll have to beat me off in a dance-off for them!” Marlene groans, but then she sighs, and says: “Very well. If I must, I must!” King Julien says: “We will dance and sing to a song originally by David Lee Roth off of his Skyscraper album! Do you know the song, Hot Dog and a Shake?!” Marlene says: “Fortunately, I KNEW that listening to all of Captain Retro's song play-list would eventually pay off! So I actually do!” King Julien says: “Good! Then let's get MOVING!” /

Genre: Hard Rock. Sub-genre: Glam Metal. Song: “Hot Dog and a Shake.” Sung by: Marlene, King Julien, Snaptrap, and Chameleon! / During this montage, while King Julien and Marlene dance-off against each other, scenes of Skipper fighting Hans, Chameleon fighting Snaptrap, Rocko collecting his flags, Patrick and Pearl finding their flags, and Otto racing against Twister can be seen! / Marlene: “I see ya shake and shimmy 'cross the burger shop floor!” King Julien: “I never seen a woman move so slow!” Snaptrap: “I'm dyin', french-fryin', by the seat of my pants!” King Julien: “Take a bite of double fries; swear to god, it make ya late for the dance, yeah!” Marlene: “Here's one for the road! One shot for the real go-getter!” (Chameleon turns into a muscle-bound rabbit!) Snaptrap: “Silly rabbit, you know just what it takes!” Marlene: “A hot dog and a shake! That's what you're hungry for! A hot dog and a shake!” King Julien: “My stomach's makin' noise, I'm having dinner late! 'Cause I gotta be kept in a cool, dry place!” Marlene: “Just like any bowl of cherries; when the cream is risin' to the top!” Chameleon to Snaptrap: “You find your real bottom line is when your spine snap, crackle and pops, pal!” Marlene: “Give me one to go! Hey buddy, take a number!” King Julien: “She can't say no to what it takes!” Marlene: “A hot dog and a shake! That's what you're hungry for! A hot dog and a shake!” (Guitar solo) Marlene: “I'm more that just a victim of a hungry heart!” Snaptrap, delirious: “Kiss me quick, I'm double parked!” Marlene: “Just like any bowl of cherries; when the cream is risin' to the top!” Chameleon to Snaptrap: “You find your real bottom line, is when your spine snap, crackle and pops, pal!” Marlene: “Give me one to go! Hey buddy, take a number!” King Julien: “She can't say no to what it takes!” Marlene and Chameleon: “A hot dog and a shake! (What are you hungry for?!) A hot dog and a shake! (Well, well, well!)” Marlene: “A hot dog and a shake! That's what you're hungry for! A hot dog and a shake! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Oh!” /

And the epic song ends as Chameleon finishes fighting, Skipper finishes fighting, Rocko finishes collecting, and Marlene has CLEARLY out-danced King Julien! King Julien says: “Wow! I can't believe it! I didn't think it was possible, but you out-danced me, fair and square!” Marlene says: “Well, you didn't think I spent my time in Hollywood, California resting on my laurels, did you?” King Julien hands Marlene the five yellow flags, and he says: “Here are your yellow flags, you won them fair and square! Now go and help Skipper WIN this thing!” Marlene says: “I plan to!” Marlene activates her communicator, and she says: “Skipper, I just got five of our flags!” And over the communicator, Skipper says: “And I just won the other six!” Marlene says: “Perfect, we can head out for the exit, now!” Skipper says: “I'll see you there!” (Confessional) Marlene says: “Honestly? I can't say the song we chose was one that I personally would have picked, but it's hard to argue with the King's opinion. And since I DID win the dance-off against him, I can't really argue with the results!” / Skipper says: “Hopefully, my combat skills over Hans today, has proven to him once and for all, that I'm the superior bird!” (End Confessional) /

Rocko gets down off the rocky wall, and he activates the communicator! Rocko says: “Reggie, I just found seven of our flags!” Heffer says: “I helped, to!” Reggie says: “I found the other seven!” Rocko says: “Perfect! You can head for the exit, now!” Reggie says: “I'm already on my way!” Rocko says: “Well Heffer, it was great seeing you again, but I must get on my way!” Heffer says: “Okay, Rocko! I'll be cheering for you and Reggie at the finale!” Rocko says: “I know you will!” (Confessional) Reggie says: “Some people might find cave challenges really challenging, but those people aren't me! I know how to handle those challenges, and any other challenges that come my way!” / Rocko says: “I'm proud of the way Reggie and I have handled today's challenges! We're really at the top of our game! We have proven that there is nothing out there that can distract us!” (End Confessional) / Patrick activates his communicator, and he says: “Pearl, I found two of our flags!” Pearl says: “And I found the other two!” Patrick asks: “Did you run into any distractions?” Pearl says: “Just Girly TeenGirl, but I told her that she HAD to go shopping, because her purse did NOT go with her outfit!” Patrick says: “Clever! I'll see you at the entrance!” (Confessional) Patrick says: “I bet MORE former contestants are WISHING that they had supported me NOW! It almost scares me how easy today's challenge was for me!” / Pearl says: “I wish I could say that talking to Girly was interesting, but it wasn't! You REALLY didn't miss anything!” (End Confessional) /

Chameleon activates his communicator, and he says: “Dudley, I just found four of our flags.” / Dudley says: “And I found something interesting! Keswick was supposed to be MY distraction, but he says that he wants to use his scientific prowess to help me discover our four remaining flags!” Keswick says: “Anything to help out my fellow partners in crime-fighting!” / Chameleon says: “Good! I'll head for the exit, and I'll wait for you there!” (Confessional) Chameleon says: “It's good to have friends in high places that you can count on! With Keswick's help, winning should be a SNAP!!!!” / Dudley says: “I don't know why, but even though statistically speaking, Chameleon and I SHOULD be in a good spot, I just have this WEIRD feeling that our well-laid plans are about to go astray.” (End Confessional) / Lil leads Suzie to what appears to be a dead end, and Suzie says: “Your instincts were right! My communicator shows all FIVE of my flags, right behind that giant boulder! But how do we get them?!” Lil says: “There's no obstacle that I can't get past!” And Lil reaches into her back-pack, and unloads a RIDICULOUS amount of DYNAMITE! Suzie shouts: “WOAH!!!! Are you sure that's SAFE?!” Lil says: “Who knows?! All I know is, it will be FUN! Cause Mad Dog Hoek, is loco for BOOM-BOOM!!!!” And she presses down the plunger, but nothing HAPPENS! Suzie looks to the camera, and she says: “Well, folks, it seems as though we're experiencing some technical difficul--.” (BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) And nearly HALF of the uninhabited sections of the Tatra mountain range are BLOWN away!!!! Sniz SEES the action from the plane, and he asks: “Lil Deville, why do you ALWAYS have to over-do the explosive effects?”

Lil says: “Whoo-hoo! That fake-out GAG explosion NEVER gets old!!!!” Suzie says: “Well, at least you found my flags!” Suzie activates her communicator, and says: “Otto, I just FOUND all of our flags, no thanks to you!” Otto says: “Are you KIDDING me?! Than what was the purpose of ME trashing Twister's BUTT in what USED to be a closed cave system?!” Suzie says: “Just admit it! You let your addiction for competing and having to PROVE your better than everyone else get the best of you AGAIN!!!! Now hurry up and meet me at the ACTUAL entrance, before we get our butts kicked!” Otto groans, and he says: “Yes, sir!” Suzie yells: “And don't EVER call me, SIR!!!!” (Confessional) Suzie says: “Honestly, what's the POINT of having Otto around, if I STILL end up having to do all the actual leg work?! I wonder if Tina Turner ever had days like this?” / Otto says: “Some days, you just can't win for losing! Sometimes, I wonder just WHY I love Suzie so much! Than I remember her awesome voice, her cool attitude, and her UNDYING love for me, and it makes the occasional criticisms I get from her all worth it in the end!” (End Confessional)

Sniz is standing at the cave entrance with Gordon Quid! Gordon says: “I think I hear some contestants coming!” Sniz says: “And I SEE some contestants coming! And out of the cave first with all fourteen of their flags, it's Reggie and Rocko! Followed by Skipper and Marlene with all eleven of their flags! And here's Patrick and Pearl with their four flags! And here's Suzie and Otto with their FIVE flags!” Chameleon comes out, and he says: “But, where is Dudley?!” Gordon says: “Uh-oh! Better call Wanda!” Wanda appears, and she says: “You called?” Gordon says: “Yeah, I think you need to poof Dudley and Keswick here!” Wanda says: “Got it!” And she materializes a BADLY charred Dudley and Keswick to the cave, and Keswick's clothes have also been COMPLETELY disintegrated, adding insult to injury! Keswick says: “Blast it! Even after all my research and finding all of Dudley's flags successfully, Lil Deville's STUPID explosion completely DISINTEGRATED ours, leaving us NOTHING to show for our work!” Sniz says: “Sorry, Keswick. You knew the risks of agreeing to be a distraction ALONG with Lil Deville! I'm afraid your failure is all on you! And Chameleon, since you arrived last AND failed to collect all of your flags, I'm afraid this is where the ride for you and Dudley ends! But don't worry, you're not leaving empty handed. We're already aware of the deal you have set up. So Chameleon, you, Dudley, Keswick, and Kitty, each get $10 million each, which is $40 million split between you in four, even ways!” Chameleon happily tears up, and he says: “$10 million?! Dreams DO come true!” Sniz says: “Wanda, take Dudley and Keswick to medical, just to be on the safe side, and poof Chameleon to the Finale setting!”

Wanda says: “You got it!” Chameleon says: “Good-bye, you guys! Good luck in the Final Four!” And Dudley, Keswick, and Chameleon are warped out of there! Sniz says: “And with that, we are down to the Final Four! Reggie, Suzie, Skipper, and Patrick! Each one of them is now guaranteed at least a pay-off, of $41 million in cold, hard cash! But only one of them will win the grand prize of $44.44 million! Find out who will be eliminated next, as we continue our exciting semi-final challenges, in Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” / Epilogue: A montage of scenes, showing the best moments of Chameleon and Dudley (especially when they're loving each other), are shown to the tune of a rocking Van Halen song from 1988! / Genre: Hard Rock. Sub-genre (Van Halen) Power Ballad. Song: “When It's Love.” Performed by: Van Halen! / Sammy Hagar: “Everybody's lookin' for somethin'. Somethin' to fill in the holes. We think a lot, but don't talk much about it. 'Til things get out of control. How do I know when it's love? I can't tell you, but it lasts forever. How does it feel when it's love? It's just something you feel together, when it's love. You look at every face in a crowd, some shine and some keep you guessin'. Waiting for someone to come into focus; teach you, your final love lesson. How do I know when it's love? I can't tell you, but it lasts forever. How does it feel when it's love? It's just something you feel together. Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, when it's love! Oh, oh, oh, oh, you can feel it, yeah! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Nothing's missing, yeah! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Nothing's missing! How do I know when it's love? I can't tell you, but it lasts forever. How does it feel when it's love? I can't tell you, but it lasts forever. When it's love! When it's love, it'll last forever! When it's love; you and I, we're gonna feel this thing together. When it's love! When it's love, you can feel it! We'll make it last forever! When it's love!” /

Episode Notes: Featured music in this episode, is “Knucklebones; Hot Dog and a Shake; Just Like Paradise” (also the episode title), and “When It's Love.” Cameo appearances from characters include Gordon Quid, Hans the Puffin, Heffer Wolfe, Sam the Squid, Snaptrap, Keswick, Twister, King Julien, Lil Deville, Bubble Bass, and Girly Teengirl is also mentioned, but not seen. Otto joins the game as Suzie's partner. Chameleon and Dudley are automatically eliminated in this challenge, but are awarded the $40 million grand prize for coming in fifth place, which is split four ways into $10 million, for Chameleon, Dudley, Keswick, and Kitty.

Personal Notes: Even though I'm at the tail end of this long season, I don't want to just rush the final episodes out, I want to take the special time and care I need to craft every single episode as good as I possibly can! Believe it or not, the idea to have the contestants go to Slovakia and explore the cave system, actually came from an animated episode of “Yoo-Hoo and Friends”, where the main characters of that series actually DID go into a cave system of Slovakia, and explore it thoroughly. Also, another reason why this episode took longer to write than the others, is the fact that I REALLY had to do my research on this one, as I wanted to be certain that I wasn't making anything up, other than what I had to, in order for this episode to work! As for Chameleon's story, I always wanted to do a season long arc of a villain turning over a new leaf, and deciding to become a good guy, and Chameleon was the best character I could think of, who could accomplish that role! His story took him as far as it could, and now we are down to the Final Four, and it's STILL anyone's game! / That's my episode idea for this time! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

One last Elimination Challenge before the Final Three! It's time to find out our next destination in this exciting game! / Sniz is in the cock-pit, and he says: “Last time on Total Cartoon Global Cruise, the Final Five contestants and their partners, took a trip to Slovakia! First, they climbed down a mountain, than they explored the insides of a giant cave system, in order to find a random number of flags hidden within it! Some contestants, like Reggie and Patrick, did a really good job of finding their flags! Other contestants, like Skipper and Chameleon, got a bit distracted in trying to retrieve their flags. And Suzie's method of finding her flag, with Mad Dog Hoek Lil Deville, nearly BLEW away everyone inside the mountain! In fact, Lil Deville unintentionally caused the elimination of Chameleon from the game, sending him and Dudley home, with $40 million in cold hard cash! Now, we are down to the Final Four! Suzie, Skipper, Patrick, and Reggie! They're all guaranteed at least a $41 million payoff now, but only three of them, will be able to proceed to the Final Three! One more Elimination Challenge awaits us today, in this exciting semi-final round of Total Cartoon Global Cruise! Chicago, here we come!” /

Instead of the usual show open, a montage retrospective of all the Final Four and their partner's during their moments of love, and tough times throughout this season, are played to the tune of a familiar song by Chicago, the band! / Genre: Soft Rock. Sub-genre: Chicago (the band). Song: “If You Leave Me Now.” Sung by: Chicago (the band)! / Peter Cetera sings: “If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me. Ooohh, no; baby, please don't go! And if you leave me now, you'll take away the very heart of me. Ooohh, no; baby, please don't go! Ooohh, girl! I just want you to stay! A love like ours, is love that's hard to find. How could we let it slip away? We've come too far to leave it all behind. How could we end it all this way? When tomorrow comes and we'll both regret the things we said today. A love like ours is love that's hard to find. How could we let it slip away? We've come too far to leave it all behind. How could we end it all this way? When tomorrow comes and we'll both regret the things we said today. If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me. Ooohh, no; baby, please don't go! Ooohh, girl! I just got to have you by my side! Ooohh, no; baby, please don't go! Ooohh, mama! I just got to have your loving here!” / “Chicago, the City, AND Music from the Band!” /

The plane is in transit, and the action focuses in on Reggie and Rocko, in the V.I.P. Lounge. But Reggie, instead of enjoying all the free perks the area has to offer, is instead sitting in a comfy chair, as if thinking about something important. Rocko asks: “Reggie, something seems to be bugging to. Most contestants, would be THRILLED to win a spot in the V.I.P. Lounge! But with you, it's like you're not even TRYING to enjoy it!” Reggie says: “I don't want to get stuck with the thought of complacency or laziness. It's kind of a double-edged sword when it comes to winning. You win too often in a short period of time, and you run the risk of thinking that there is nothing that can STOP you from winning! My brother falls VICTIM to that way of thinking a lot! I do my best to not make the same mistakes that he has made. I just hope that my sense of diligence, is stronger than my urge to win.” Rocko says: “Reggie, both of us are ALREADY in a good place without needing to do anything else. You made the Final Four; you're already in the same league as your brother. Plus, you survived FAR more elimination ceremonies than he ever has! That's already a feat, in and of itself!” Reggie says: “Thank you, Rocko. All the same, I have no intention of resting on my laurels now. It's not over yet.” Rocko says: “Good point, Reggie. We've still got one final Elimination Challenge to face today, and then it all comes down to the Final Three, being the Best of the Best! Do you think you've got what it takes to smoke the competition?” Reggie answers: “I make it a point to NEVER answer that question prematurely! I only answer that question AFTER I have done it!” Rocko says: “Sounds like some sound advice if I've ever heard it! And I've certainly heard of my fair share of sound advice over the years, that's for sure!” (Confessional)

Reggie says: “If there's one thing that I've learned from Tito, is that you can NEVER afford to get complacent in a long term competition of this level! You may be at the top ONE minute, but you can easily trip and be at the bottom the next! I kind of see now just WHY Captain Retro took it upon himself to win many of the challenges from our team! He NEVER got complacent, and you can't argue with the end results. Team Retro, the team I was on for the majority of this season, got to the Team Merge with ELEVEN members! That was more than HALF of the remaining contestants! He definitely had the discipline to stay focused on the end game! I just hope that I have the same kind of skill!” / Rocko says: “When I got to this point last season, it was different for me. The biggest difference, is that I didn't have to face a challenge in a new place, or have to sing at least one new song in every episode. Even though we had our share of villains that we had to dispatch, I think that I and my fellow Final Three contestants had it relatively easy LAST season! What Reggie has had to do, is compete in the equivalent of an Ultra Marathon! From Alaska, to Death Valley, to New York, to the Amazon, and many places in-between! She's done good so far! All she has to do is to get past one final hump, and we will be at the Final Three! After that, it's anyone's guess as to who will win it all!” (End Confessional)

The remaining contestants and their partners are in the First Class section of the plane. Otto says: “Suzie, don't you want to give your beloved Otto a congratulations kiss for being by your side in the Final Four?!” And Suzie merely replies: “Humph!” Otto asks: “Is that ALL I'm going to get from you?! Come on, Suzie; I already apologized, like, about, 44.44 million TIMES about getting distracted in that Slovakia challenge!” (Confessional) Suzie says: “And if Otto is not careful, that MIGHT be the only 44.44 million that HE'S ever going to see! We can NOT afford any distractions right now!” (End Confessional) Otto asks: “Can't you show me the SLIGHTEST bit of affection?” Unenthusiastically, Suzie cheers: “Go, Otto Rocket. Rah, rah, rah.” Otto sarcastically says: “Careful you don't get WHIPLASH from moving so fast!” Patrick says: “It's too bad you don't have a loving and trusting relationship, like me and Pearl have!” Otto asks: “You call your girlfriend FORGETTING who you even WERE for nearly six WHOLE challenges, loving and TRUSTING?!” Pearl incredulously says: “That WASN'T my fault! I hurt my head! And hurting your head is no joke!” Patrick says: “Tell me about it. Squidward often says that when it comes to getting MY head hurt, I am the definitive King of Pain!” Skipper asks: “Just out of curiosity, I've always WONDERED something about you! I want to ask you something, and I want you to answer me honestly!” Patrick says: “Okay, what do you want to ask me?” Skipper yells: “Were you DROPPED on your HEAD as a CHILD?!” Pearl starts yelling: “How DARE you ask my boyfriend such a--!” Patrick says: “Constantly! Why do you ask?!” And Pearl face-palms herself! (Confessional) Skipper says: “Well, mystery solved!” / Pearl sighs, and says: “Patrick, I REALLY do love you! But, seriously, MAN; you're NOT helping your own case!” / Patrick says: “Skipper asked, what I thought was a fair question! How was I supposed to KNOW that he was using it to insult me?! Catching the undertone of other people's questions, really isn't one of my greater strengths! I'll REALLY have to work on getting better at that, once this whole competition thing blows over!” (End Confessional) Marlene says: “Skipper, remember that LITTLE TALK about making FUN of other contestants' supposed weaknesses', and traits?” Skipper answers: “Uh, to NOT to?” Marlene says: “That's right! So what do we do?” Skipper says: “Drop it and leave alone, lest I tempt fate again?” Marlene pats Skipper on the back, and she says: “Much better! I KNEW you'd learn it eventually!”

(Confessional) Skipper says: “Trying to become a better contestant and NOT trip myself up is like, so HARD, you know! I honestly have NO idea how Captain Retro did it! Granted, he had SOME form of clairvoyance about the future, and even THEN, he was sometimes wrong or taken by surprise! I wouldn't even be DOING this if it wasn't for Marlene! But I got to impress her SOMEHOW!” / Marlene says: “I don't think I was THIS high and mighty when I was in the Final Four LAST time!” (End Confessional)

Sniz activates the intercom, and over the loud-speakers, he says: “Attention, contestants; we are down to the Final Four challengers! We have one Final Elimination challenge today, and it is happening in Chicago!” Pearl says: “I've always wanted to GO to Chicago, but my father would never take me!” Sniz says: “Your challenge for this time, should you choose to accept it IF you don't want to lose; involves running the Magnificent Mile in Chicago, from south to north. You will start where Michigan Avenue intersects with Kinzie Street, and will go up until Michigan Avenue intersects with Oak Street. While you are running on Michigan Avenue, you will stop at the Chicago Water Tower located on the corner of Michigan Avenue and Chicago Avenue, at 806 Michigan Avenue. While there, you will engage in a Chicago Deep Dish Pizza Eat-off against an infamous Spongebob Squarepants eater, Bubble Bass! If you lose or SKIP this part of the challenge, you will be penalized ten minutes, and you will HAVE to take the dreaded STAIRS up the Willis Tower in Chicago; 103 stories or 1,353 feet of them! But if you WIN in the Chicago Deep Dish Pizza Eat-off against Bubble Bass, you will be able to take the Express Elevator straight up, and be able to bypass all the stairs! A move which should prove very beneficial towards the final part of the challenge; circumnavigating the entire width of the Willis Tower! There's only four feet of the sky deck to work with, and you have to circumnavigate of 4,477,800 square feet!” Patrick says: “That sounds DANGEROUS!” Sniz says: “Not to worry! You will be equipped with safety harnesses and safety ropes! If you lose your balance, our Fairy Godparent interns are legally required to pull you back up! The first contestant AND their partner, to safely circumnavigate the Willis Tower safely, will receive Immunity from the ensuing vote-off at the end of this challenge! Whoever gets voted out of the contest at the end of this challenge, will be out of the running for the Grand Prize, but they will go home with $41 million in cold, hard, cash! So, there's a lot to be excited about!” General Barracuda says: “And tell them about our musical selection for THIS time!” Sniz says: “And for an added challenge, since we are GOING to Chicago, all the songs that will be sung for THIS challenge, must be songs that were originally performed BY the band, named Chicago!” Marlene raises her right eyebrow and asks: “SERIOUSLY?”

(Confessional) Sniz says: “YOU try coming up with different genre ideas for all the songs in this season! It was either, go to Chicago and sing songs originally performed by the BAND Chicago; or go to Memphis, Tennessee to sing out-dated country or Dixie Jazz music, or pay MILLIONS of dollars to sing music made famous by Elvis 'The King' Presley himself!” (End Confessional) Skipper says: “But Willis Tower is located at 223 South Wacker Drive, that's SOUTH of where Michigan Avenue ends at Oak Avenue!” Sniz asks: “Do the words, 'Fairy Godparents', ring any bells as to how we will GET you from there to Willis Tower?! But, if you don't like it, you could ALWAYS choose to RUN back there!” Skipper gets an Anime tear sweat drop, and says: “On second thought, far be it for ME to look a gift warp in the mouth!” Otto sarcastically says: “Gee, it sounds to me like we are REALLY going to LOVE competing in THIS episode!” And Suzie gives Otto a DIRTY look! Otto asks: “WHAT?!!!” (Confessional) Otto says: “You know, Suzie could have just TOLD me that my being sarcastic, was going to prompt SOME kind of genius response from Sniz!” / Suzie groans, sighs, and says: “You know, by now, you would THINK that Otto would KNOW better! Even PATRICK knows better than to respond like that, and he drifts out of his own MIND half of the time!” / Patrick says: “You know, I just got the STRANGEST feeling that somebody gave me the most sincere compliment about me that they've ever given me! If that's true, I guess I'll take it! It might be the best I'll ever GET from them!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “Oh, you DON'T love this idea, Otto?! Well, in that case, we'll let you AND Suzie take SOLE control of the singing for the MANDATORY song of this episode!” Otto says: “Come on! Suzie just gave ME the dirtiest look she's ever given ME! She's not going to--!” Suzie interrupts and says: “We will BOTH sing, for SNIZ! Besides, I LOVE singing, even IF it's a Chicago song, and we are NOT about to lose NOW! Just give us the proper signal and we'll begin!”

(Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!) Marlene says: “And now, you can begin!” /

Genre: Soft Rock. Sub-genre: Chicago (the band). Song: “Love Me Tomorrow”. Sung by: Otto and Suzie! / Otto: “She said--.” Suzie: “It's lonely here tonight.” Otto: “She's always sad when she's alone. She said--.” Suzie: “I need you here tonight.” Otto: “She couldn't wait 'til I get home. She loves me, and that's all I need to know. She's part of my life; just a part I won't let go. Then she said--.” Suzie: “Love me tomorrow. Won't you please promise me? Love me tomorrow like today. Love me tomorrow; hurry back. Can't you see I need you much more than yesterday?” Otto: “You know it's always cold at night; it's always lonely 'til the dawn. And though it's not what we both want, knowing she's there, I'll carry on. Because she loves me, and that's all I need to know. She's part of my life; just a part I won't let go. Then she said--.” Suzie: “Love me tomorrow. Won't you please promise me? Love me tomorrow like today. Love me tomorrow; hurry back. Can't you see I need you more than any words can say?” Otto: “She loves me, and that's all I need to know. She's part of my life; just a part I won't let go. Then she said--.” Suzie: “Love me tomorrow. Won't you please promise me? Love me tomorrow like today. Love me tomorrow; hurry back. Can't you see I need you much more than yesterday?” Otto: “Love me tomorrow; love me tomorrow like today. Love me tomorrow; I need you much more than yesterday.” / Sniz claps, and he says: “Wonderful singing Suzie, as usual! Let's hope your challenge skills are as good as your singing skills! They'll have to be if you BOTH want to get into the Final Three!” (Confessional) Suzie says: “I SWEAR!!!! Or rather, I would, if I WANTED to get censor bleeped like Angelica Pickles constantly does! In any case, if Otto BLOWS it for both of us THIS close to the Finish line, I am going to be SO ticked!” / Otto has a weird look on his face, and he says: “Yeah, I think Suzie might be a little mad at me! It's not MY fault that I can't take the rest of the competition SERIOUSLY! Well, maybe it is a LITTLE, but that's NOT the point! I mean, can you really BLAME me?! We've got Patrick the STUMBLER, Skipper the CONSPIRACY theorist, and Reggie to compete against! And the only reason I don't have a nick-name for my sister, is because I think she'd probably KICK me if she found out I called her something insulting! But Suzie has REALLY got to loosen up! We're in the Final FOUR!!!! Something completely CRAZY would have to happen for us to lose right NOW!” (End Confessional) General Barracuda activates the intercom, and announces: “We're making our final approach to the Chicago O'Hare International Airport! Please put your trays and seats back in the upright position and—oh! You know the drill by now!” And the plane makes a soft landing on one of the landing strips. /

The camera cuts to the contestants, looking down an unusually strange sight, as they don't see any cars, vehicles, or vehicles, going down the Miracle Mile! Skipper asks: “And what can we attribute THIS unusual occurrence to?!” Sniz says: “We've blocked off the Miracle Mile for your own safety, contestants. We don't want any unruly fans breaking through and hounding you for your autographs. You might NEVER finish this challenge if they did!” Marlene says: “Too bad. I actually LIKE giving out MY autograph to my ever loving fans!” Pearl says: “I'm SURE you do!” Sniz says: “Anyways, it should take you about a half-hour to run the length of the Miracle Mile, not counting the amount of time it will take you to compete against Bubble Bass in the eat-off, providing you don't get any funny ideas about SKIPPING it, Otto!” Otto asks: “Why only address ME?!!! Someone ELSE might have the same idea!” Sniz says: “Maybe, but you're PROBABLY the only contestant FOOLISH enough to TRY such a stunt!” Reggie says: “He's got you THERE, brother!” Otto rolls his eyes, and says: “OH, SHUT UP!!!!” (Confessional) Otto says: “I SWEAR!!!! Well, technically I don't, because I DON'T want to be like Angelica, but Reggie thinks I am SO predictable! Anyways, Suzie and I are NOT skipping the eat-off because we can't WIN it, but because that event would take away from valuable RUNNING time that Suzie and I could GAIN from NOT doing the eat-off! As in, getting an insurmountable LEAD!” / Reggie says: “Otto is heading for trouble!”

(End Confessional) Sniz says: “In any case, REMEMBER, if you DO choose to skip the Eat-Off, or LOSE, you will be penalized ten minutes from the time you finish the Miracle Mile, to the time you are supposed to climb the Willis Tower! So even if you ARE speedy, that doesn't necessarily mean you'll win! All right! Everybody, get your game faces on!” Patrick asks: “We need to wear MASKS to win this challenge?!” Pearl says: “It's just a metaphor, meaning you need to get ready!” Patrick says: “Oh!” (Confessional) Patrick says: “Getting the hang of knowing what metaphors are, is a really tough CHALLENGE for me! I must have been home SICK with the Flu or something when they taught metaphors at school!” / Pearl says: “I fully BELIEVE, that Patrick has the ability and the know-how to win first place in this entire competition! All he needs is a little encouragement, and a little push, to do it! And I am completely capable of providing BOTH to him!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “On your mark, get set--!” General Barracuda shoots off a firework, and he says: “Practicing for the Fourth of July!” The firework explodes, and Sniz shouts: “GO!!!!” Reggie, Rocko, Otto, Skipper, and Marlene take off into a quick five-way lead, while Patrick, Pearl, and Suzie struggle behind to keep up with their pace! (Confessional) Suzie says: “REAL cute, Otto! Just completely forget the fact that it's your GIRLFRIEND who has to win this challenge, and not YOU!!!! If it weren't for the fact that me LOVING Otto makes Angelica totally CRAZY, I wouldn't be this dedicated to him! Some people might say I'm crazy, but then again, those people AREN'T me!” (End Confessional) A little later, Reggie, Rocko, and Otto are still running fast, but Skipper and Marlene have slowed down and Pearl has caught up to them. Pearl asks: “Do you know how much LONGER before we get to where we're supposed to have the eat-off?” Marlene says: “No! Do I LOOK like I have a G.P.S., installed in my brain?!” (Confessional) Marlene says: “Wouldn't it be COOL if I DID have a G.P.S., installed in my brain, though?! I'd NEVER have to ask directions from anyone EVER again! Probably!” (End Confessional) Patrick stops at a water fountain, and as Skipper walks past, Patrick pants, and says: “Can't...catch...breath! Must...have...condition!” Skipper sarcastically says: “Yeah! It's called, being LAZY! Look it up!” Suzie asks: “So what's YOUR stupid excuse?! You short, suspicious, snidely, snark-mouthed, feathered—WOOH! I'm too TIRED to insult!” General Barracuda drives Sniz in a fancy limo past them, and through a mega-phone, Sniz says: “Pick it up, slackers! The other contestants are leaving you behind in the dust, and are almost to the Chicago Water Tower!” Suzie growls, agitated, and she says: “He can be such an IRRITANT sometimes!” /

Reggie, Rocko, and Otto make it to the Chicago Water Tower, and Rocko says: “This is the place where we, or rather the ACTUAL contestants, have to participate in the eat-off against Bubble Bass!” And Bubble Bass is sitting in the lobby, where a bunch of Chicago Deep-Dish pizzas are waiting for him, and the contestants! Bubble Bass says: “Hello, simpletons! I hope you are prepared to a TRUE culinary connoisseur like ME!” Reggie says: “Oh, it's ON! I may not LIKE eating such unhealthy food, but I will NOT let that stop me from wiping the SMUG smile off your face! Want to watch me wipe the FLOOR with him, brother?!” Otto scoffs, and says: “As if! I'm going to mount an insurmountable lead, climbing the Willis Tower!” Rocko says: “You can't do that! You AND Suzie will get a ten minute penalization!” Otto says: “Ten minutes, shmen minutes, as long as we're in the lead!” Reggie groans and says: “Brother, you are SO going to regret your STUPID decision!” (Confessional) Reggie says: “My brother is a case of penny wise, pound foolish. Sure, he doesn't waste his pennies! But when it comes to planning out strategies for the LONG term game plan, my brother doesn't have a CLUE on how to make long-term tactics to win in the long run, WORK, even if his life depended on it! While I can understand his competitive nature, I'm not sure if Suzie will be as forgiving! That might be what ends up tripping my brother in the long run!” / Otto groans, and he asks: “Does Suzie REALLY think that a ten minute delay is going to stop ME and Suzie from WINNING?! I'd give them thirty MINUTES, and it STILL wouldn't be enough!” (End Confessional)

Rocko is disgusted by Otto's behavior, but unwilling to push Otto on it, Rocko just shakes his head and says: “Fine! You follow YOUR game plan, and we'll follow ours! And we'll just SEE which one ends up winning in the long run!” Otto says: “Fine! May the best MALE Rocket family member win!” And Otto continues to run toward the Oak Street intersection with Michigan Avenue! Reggie shouts at him: “You practically just HANDED Suzie a LOSS right THERE!!!!” (Confessional) Reggie groans, and she says: “SEE?! This is PRECISELY why I made SURE not to ask for Otto Rocket as my partner once I got to the Final Six! It's like Otto Rocket just wants to raise red flags for Suzie's elimination on PURPOSE!!!! Is he really THAT dense, cocky, and over-confidant?! Sometimes I wonder if he really IS related to me?!” / Otto groans, and he says: “Unfortunately, I AM related to that DOUR, sour sister of mine! Dad has the D.N.A., to prove it!” / Rocko says: “Reggie can handle anything this game can throw at her, whether its her own annoying brother, or a cocky, obese, green fish! She won't let them get the better of her!” (End Confessional) Reggie pulls up a chair, and sits at the table, staring at Bubble Bass face to face! Bubble Bass asks: “Well, do YOU want to attempt this FIRST, or should I?” Reggie says: “Oh, I'll let YOU go first!” Bubble Bass says: “Suit yourself!” And he starts gobbling HIS Deep Dish Pizza! (Confessional) Reggie says: “My strategy is two-fold. First off, I want to see what Bubble Bass' method of devouring his food is, so I can figure out how to do it faster and more efficient! The second is, if eating makes him MORE full, it will make it HARDER for him to beat the OTHER contestants who compete against him, after ME! I mean, just because I'm in a competition with them, doesn't mean that I can't level the playing field for them! I just want them to have the same chance as I do! That's what a TRUE competitor does!” (End Confessional) The camera cuts back to Bubble Bass, who has just finished eating his FIRST Deep Dish Pizza! Bubble Bass burps, and he says: “Eleven minutes! That's the time that YOU got to beat!” Suzie arrives, and she pants, and asks: “What did I miss?!” Rocko says: “Nothing, but unfortunately, Otto has his OWN plan! He went on ahead to the Oak Street intersection! He'd rather RISK the ten minute penalization, than waste his time against Bubble Bass! So it doesn't matter if YOU do this part of the challenge, you're already going to be penalized for Otto's stubborn behavior!” Suzie groans, and she says: “I can't believe it! This day can't POSSIBLY get any WORSE!!!!” Skipper, Marlene, Patrick, and Pearl finally arrive at the Chicago Water Tower! Pearl gasps, and she says: “We made it!” Suzie sourly says: “And cue the irony!”

Bubble Bass says: “Good! You're all here at once! That means you can ALL eat at the same time! Except for Otto and Suzie, since Otto isn't here! Suzie, I suggest you get running now! The penalization clock won't START until YOU get to Willis Tower WITH Otto!” Suzie says: “I sure hope the rest of YOU have more fun with THIS challenge than I am!” (Confessional) Suzie groans, and she says: “UGH!!!! It's just been one mind-numbing setback after another! Is this some kind of karmic payback for ME taking Otto away from Angelica even when SHE didn't really want HIM, and he never really wanted HER?! Because if it IS karmic payback, it's doing a really good JOB of messing with my game plan! And the worst part of it is, I brought it upon myself! It's going to take a MIRACLE at this point to keep my game plan alive!” (End Confessional) Suzie says: “When I get to Otto, I am going to give him SUCH a scolding!” And she runs after him! Bubble Bass says: “Reggie, Patrick, Skipper, while you're eating, why don't your partners sing a song originally performed by Chicago to provide you INSPIRATION?! Hint on the word, inspiration; if you know what I mean!” Rocko says: “We know what you mean, and we'll be happy to provide it!” /

Genre: Soft Rock. Sub-genre: Chicago (the band). / Song: “You're the Inspiration”. / Sung by: Marlene, Rocko, and Pearl! / During this song, a montage of the contestants eating as fast as they can, Otto and Suzie arriving at Willis Tower, but having to wait until their ten minute penalization is up, is seen. / Marlene: “You know our love was meant to be. The kind of love that lasts forever!” Rocko: “And I want you here with me, from tonight until the end of time!”

Pearl: “You should know, everywhere I go. Always on my mind, in my heart, in my soul! Baby!” Rocko, Marlene, and Pearl: “You're the meaning in my life! You're the inspiration! You bring feeling to my life! You're the inspiration!” Rocko: “Wanna have you near me! I wanna have you hear me saying, no one needs you more than I need you!” Marlene: “And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see; we're so in love when we're together! Now I know that I need you here with me! From tonight until the end of time!” Pearl: “You should know, everywhere I go. Always on my mind, you're in my heart, in my soul!” Rocko, Marlene, and Pearl: “You're the meaning in my life! You're the inspiration! You bring feeling to my life! You're the inspiration!” Pearl: “Wanna have you near me! I wanna have you hear me saying, no one needs you more than I need you!” Rocko, Marlene, and Pearl: “You're the meaning in my life! You're the inspiration! You bring feeling to my life! You're the inspiration!” Marlene: “Wanna have you near me! I wanna have you hear me saying, no one needs you more than I need you!” Rocko, Marlene, and Pearl: “You're the meaning in my life! You're the inspiration! You bring feeling to my life! You're the inspiration!” Rocko: “When you love somebody until the end of time! When you love somebody, no one needs you more than I need you! When you love somebody!” /

And the epic song montage ends, as all the contestants finish eating, and Bubble Bass is staring in disbelief! Bubble Bass says: “I don't believe it! Reggie, you finished your Deep Dish Pizza in 4 minutes and 44 seconds! Skipper, you finished in 6 minutes and 16 seconds! And Patrick, you finished in 9 minutes and 27 seconds!” Patrick says: “I always KNEW that remembering the basic plot from the episode What's Eating Patrick?; One that I starred in, would come in handy!” Bubble Bass groans, and he says: “Well, a deal is deal! The keys to the express elevator are hanging on the coat hanger behind me! Take one, and go! Reggie first, Skipper second, and Patrick third! And to make it fair, Skipper must wait 1 minute and 32 seconds, since that's how much longer it took him to eat behind Reggie; and Patrick must wait 3 minutes and 11 seconds after Skipper grabs his key, for the same reason that Skipper must wait!” Skipper says: “Man, I hate waiting!” Reggie heads over to the coat hanger, and she says: “Cheer up! With any luck, you won't have to wait for long, but I'm going to grab my key and run...right, NOW!!!!” She snatches her key and shouts: “Come Rocko, RUN!!!!” Rocko says: You don't have to tell ME twice!!!!” (Confessional)

Rocko says: “That's one of the many things I love about Reggie! Always so prompt and diligent!” / Reggie says: “Even though devouring unhealthy food isn't really my thing, I HAD to let it go! Fifteen of my fellow contestants from Team Retro are counting on ME to win this money for ALL of us! We made a bargain, and I ALWAYS stick to my end of the bargain until I can deliver! That's the kind of contestant that I am!” / Patrick says: “Even though I was last to finish, I'm still proud of the fact that I was able to remember a plot of an episode that I starred in, without needing anybody's help to remind me. I'm PROUD of myself! At the very least, Squidward is going to have a much harder time making fun of me for being stupid now than he did BEFORE today!” / Marlene says: “I'm glad that Skipper has a healthy appetite! It certainly has helped us out SO far! Now let's see if the fuel it provides him with, gives an edge in the final part of this competition!” (End Confessional) Suzie and Otto are waiting outside the entrance to Willis Tower, but Suzie is clearly NOT happy with Otto! Otto says: “Come ON!!!! Are you going to give me THAT look all DAY?! We're WINNING!!!!” Suzie asks: “You call THIS, WINNING?!” Otto rhetorically asks: “Compared to making a foolish, greedy PIG out of yourself in a competition with LARD butt?! I'd say, YES!” Suzie says: “You forget, there is 103 stories of stairs that WE now have to run UP!” Otto says: “You mean that I have to run up! Look, I am personally going to carry you up every single step of that Tower! I will show you just how EASY this challenge is for me! There is NOTHING that can slow me down!” (Confessional) Otto says: “I KNEW that would be the thing to impress her! Who is the man with the plan?! THIS guy!” / Suzie says: “All right! Otto had a plan AFTER all! Let us just hope he can deliver!” (End Confessional)

Otto asks: “Sniz, how much more time do we have to wait?!” Sniz checks his watch, and he says: “About five more minutes!” Otto says: “Straight from the source himself! And we all KNOW that health nut Reggie, will NEVER be able to--!” Reggie yells: “Did you just call me a health nut as an insult?!” Otto screams: “YIPE!!!!” Suzie says: “I didn't even say it, and I'M scared! Yipe!” (Confessional) Suzie says: “For some reason, when it comes to Irony, it REALLY seems to want to rain down ALL at once, instead of spreading it out evenly! Why can't I ever just catch a BREAK?!” / Otto groans, and he says: “For some reason, my mouth always finds a way to BETRAY my brain, ego, and common sense, at the WORST possible, conceivable time!” (End Confessional) Rocko arrives right behind Reggie, and Reggie says: “You know what, Otto?! I WOULD read you the Riot Act here and now; but since I'm in the middle of a competition, I'm just going to let you off with a warning! Be more conscious of what comes out of YOUR mouth! It WILL come back to bite you in the BUTT, one of these days!” (Confessional) Reggie says: “Otto has to learn what I learned a LONG time ago! Unless you can get yourself into a high position of power, you can't just shoot off your MOUTH, no matter HOW skilled and athletic you are! It's better that he learn it now, instead of later! Because if he learns it LATER, by then, it could be too late for it to do any GOOD for him!” (End Confessional) Reggie says: “Otto, I'll see you and Suzie at the top, if you can even GET there!” And Reggie and Rocko rush inside! Rocko asks: “Aren't you going to use the key?!” Reggie stops, and she thinks about it! Rocko asks: “Do you REALLY need to THINK about this?! I mean, someone DOES have to win first place and win immunity!” Reggie says: “Well, Skipper and Marlene won't be TOO far behind us, so I think...” Rocko says: “Reggie, this is no time to lose your nerve and have second thoughts, now! So just put the key in the slot, and bring down the--.” The front door opens, and Skipper pants, and he says: “Marlene and I are here! Bring down the elevator already!” Reggie says: “See?! What did I tell you?! The problem resolved itself!” (Confessional) Rocko says: “Don't get me wrong; I'm all FOR having a fair game, but not to the point where it causes us to lose!” / Reggie says: “I still don't know if the winner is going to be determined by jury votes or not. But if it IS, I'm just taking every precaution I can to be seen as the majority favorite! And unlike Bulma Briefs, my attitude is completely natural, and free of pretensions! Now, it's time to get to the final part of this challenge!” (End Confessional)

Reggie turns her key, and the elevator arrives at the ground floor! Marlene asks: “Are we going to wait for Patrick and Pearl?” Skipper rhetorically asks: “Are you serious?! They can fend for themselves! If they REALLY want a slot in the Final Three, than they can EARN it!” (Confessional) Marlene says: “I don't know why, but I just have this WEIRD feeling that the HARDER everyone else TRIES to make sure that Patrick doesn't make it into the Final Three, the more it's going to end up HAPPENING! After all, irony has been hitting Suzie and Otto pretty HARD today; it's only a matter of time before that irony spreads out to the rest of us!” / Skipper says: “Don't get me wrong! Patrick WOULD be the perfect GOAT to compete against in the Final Three, making Reggie the only real threat, but there's only SO far that Suzie and I are willing to carry him! Do you know what I mean? He has GOT to show some back-bone! For us, there is no other challenge more important than this one right now!” (End Confessional) Reggie, Rocko, Marlene, and Skipper, get into the elevator, and Reggie says: “103rd floor express elevator, going UP!!!!” Patrick and Pearl rush in through the front doors, and Patrick says: “Guys, WAIT!!!!” But it's too late! The elevator doors close, leaving Patrick and Pearl on the ground floor! Patrick groans, and he says: “I can't believe it! We're TOO late! I was a FOOL to think those guys would ever let ME into the Final Three!” Pearl sharply says: “HEY! That's QUITTER talk and you KNOW it! My DAD would be very disappointed to know that the love of my life is a QUITTER! He didn't raise ME to be a quitter! Nor did he raise ME to be in love with quitters! The question is, are YOU a quitter?!” Patrick says: “Well, no! But...” Pearl interrupts and says: “There are no room for 'BUTS', in this competition! Only winners, and losers!”

Patrick says: “Well, when you put it THAT way, I want to be a WINNER!” Pearl says: “Than hop onto my back! I'm going to RUN you all the way up to the 103rd floor!” Otto and Suzie enter through the door, and Otto says: “Finally! Our ten minute penalization has ended! And not a moment too soon, it seems!” Patrick hops on Pearl's back; he nods, and he says: “Smoke them!” Pearl says: “With pleasure!” And with a FRENZY that she has NEVER experienced before, she takes off like a BOLT up the stairs, nearly keeping up the pace with the express elevator! Suzie shrieks: “AHHH!!!!” And she seethes! And she starts to say: “OH...why I ought to...! Of all the unbelievable! Stupid, idiotic, bamboozling, ways to...UGH!!!!” Otto says: “Try using actual SENTENCES, Suzie!” Suzie turns around to Otto, and she angrily says: “Oh, you want me to speak in actual SENTENCES?! FINE!!!! This is COMPLETELY, and UTTERLY YOUR FAULT!!!! If you had just LISTENED to ME from the START; none of THIS would be HAPPENING!” Otto incredulously responds: “Oh, so it's MY fault now?!” Suzie says: “Yeah!” Otto asks: “Really?” Suzie says: “Yeah!” Otto asks: “Really?” Suzie says: “Yeah!” Otto asks: “Really?” Suzie responds: “Yeah, REALLY!” Otto looks perplexed, and unwilling to carry the argument any further simply asks: “Very well. Shall we PROCEED to YOU getting YOUR own way yet AGAIN?!” Suzie says: “I'm STILL holding up YOUR end of the bargain to carry ME up the stairs!” Otto groans, and he says: “Me and my BIG, fat MOUTH!!!! Fine! Just get on my back, and don't lose your GRIP!!!!” And Suzie puts her ARMS around Otto TIGHTLY!!!! Otto gasps, and he says: “Not THAT hard!!!! I still need to BREATHE you know!” Suzie feigns innocence, and speaking baby talk, facetiously says: “Oh, I'm sorry! Did I hurt your wittle feewings?! I guess I just don't know my own STRENGTH sometimes!” (Confessional) A close-up of Otto is seen. He groans, and he says: “You know, I'm beginning to think that NO amount of money is worth all the pain and agony that I'm going through today. Somebody better give me ONE good reason as to why I should continue to do this!” The camera zooms out, and SHOWS Suzie in the Confessional WITH him! Suzie says: “I can give you FIVE good reasons!” And she slowly curls her left hand into a fist, and she says: “ONE; TWO; THREE; FOUR; FIVE!!!!” Otto nervously says: “Those are GOOD reasons! This challenge is not only getting TOO agonizing; it's getting TOO dangerous!” Suzie says: “For YOU, maybe!” (End Confessional)

As the express elevator goes up, Sniz's voice comes over the intercom, and he says: “Since most of you have nothing else BETTER to do until you get to your final destination, why don't you pass the time by singing ANOTHER song from Chicago?!” Marlene groans, and she says: “Oh, very well!” Sniz says: “And seeing as how the love between Otto and Suzie is currently on the rocks, why don't you make it a song pertaining to THAT specific situation?!” Skipper says: “In that case, I think we have the perfect song in mind!” / Genre: Soft Rock, than Jazz Fusion. Sub-genre: Chicago (the band). Song: “Hard for Me to Say I'm Sorry/Get Away”. Sung by: Cast! / A montage of four contestants going up in the elevator, and the other four running up the many stairs, is seen. / Otto: “Everybody needs a little time away, I heard her say. From each other!” Suzie: “Even lovers need a holiday, far away from each other!” Patrick: “Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sorry.” Pearl: “I just want you to stay.” Marlene: “After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you! I promise to! Skipper: “And after all that's been said and done, you're just the part of me I can't let go!” Reggie: “Couldn't stand to be kept away, just for the day; from your body!” Rocko: “Wouldn't want to be swept away, far away; from the one that I love!” Otto: “Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sorry! I just want you to know! Hold me now! I really want to tell you I'm sorry! I could never let you go! After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you! I promise to!” Suzie: “And after all that's been said and done, you're just the part of me I can't let go!” Skipper: “After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you! I promise to! You're gonna be the lucky one!” (Short instrumental break, changes into Jazz Fusion as they get closer to the 103rd floor!) Rocko: “When we get there, gonna jump in the air!” Reggie: “No one will see us 'cause there's nobody there!”

Patrick: “After all, you know we really don't care!” Pearl: “Hold on, I'm gonna take you there!” (Instruments play until the Express Elevator, Pearl and Patrick, and finally, Otto and Suzie all reach the top floor!) Sniz is there, and he claps his hands enthusiastically! Sniz says: “Riveting performance, as usual! It's time for your final part of the challenge! You remember what it IS; don't you?!” Otto pants in exhaustion, and he sarcastically says: “How could WE possibly forget?! Circumnavigating ALL 4,477,800 FEET of Willis Tower, in the air, on the Skywalk, which we're not allowed to fall OFF of, even though there's only FOUR whole feet to WORK with?!” (Confessional) Otto says: “I hate this stupid challenge! Hate, hate, hate, HATE IT!!!! Whoever DESIGNED this STUPID Willis Tower should DIE if they haven't already! At the very least, now I have a feeling about WHY Captain Retro doesn't want to or like to climb up STAIRS!” / Suzie says: “I don't know why Otto is so irritated! I'm the one who actually has to hold AGAINST the edge of the building, with nothing but a safety harness to keep me from falling!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “Your safety gear is over there, may sure it's on tight and secure! We really DON'T want to get hit with a lawsuit at this point in the game! Now, is everybody ready?!” He looks over at everyone, and he says: “Wow! Even Patrick got it on right! That, is actually surprising to ME!” (Confessional) Sniz says: “You know, if Patrick actually gets INTO the Final Three now, I think it will be the most HONESTLY surprising Final Three upset I will have EVER witnessed in my time as a host!” / Patrick says: “It may not look like it, but I take safety very seriously! You would not BELIEVE how many stunt doubles my show has to go through, just to make sure that I PERSONALLY, stay safe!” (End Confessional) Marlene says: “We know what the actual contestants have to do! Do their partners have to do anything?!” Sniz says: “Just keep an eye on which direction the wind is blowing! After all, if they lose their balance and slip, they'll have to start from the last corner of the building that they passed!” Reggie says: “Rocko, you got this, right?” Rocko says: “Absolutely! I always have to know which way the wind is blowing whenever I throw a boomerang! I'll keep my eye on the wind, no problem! Even if you can't actually SEE the wind, you still know it's there!” (Confessional) Rocko says: “This will definitely be Reggie's trickiest challenge SO far! She's up against the wind, and a narrow sky walk! This is all that stands between her, and a slot for the Final Three! Go get it, Reggie!” (End Confessional)

Reggie, Skipper, Patrick, and Suzie are all decked in their safety gear, wearing helmets and goggles to protect their eyes and heads from the elements and other nasty, potential projectiles! Sniz says: “All right, everybody is set! Safety harnesses are tight! Goggles and helmets are secure! Paramedics are on stand-by! Let's make it happen, people and other various life-forms! For a slot in the Final Three! Ready, set, GO!!!!” And Reggie quickly takes off, followed shortly behind by Skipper, than Patrick, and finally Suzie! Sniz says: “They are off! It's Reggie Rocket leading by two lengths! Skipper is second by a length! Patrick third...” And his voice trails off as the contestants get too far away from him. Everyone is holding onto the edge of the building as best as they can, going as fast as they can, but taking care not to slip and fall off, lest they start a whole section over! Patrick pulls up ahead of Skipper, and Partick says: “Looks like I'm going to be the FASTEST here!” Otto hears this, and he shouts: “Do you hear THAT, Suzie?! Are you going to put up with THAT?! Speed it up! There's a FORTUNE at steak here!” Suzie groans, and says: “NO!!!! You know what?! I've HAD it with this ATTITUDE of yours! GEEZ!!!! Who do YOU think you ARE?! You live off other people, while simultaneously INSULTING them; and nobody EVER has the nerve to CALL you on it right to your face and COMPLAIN about it, because they think your some sort of delusional, action-seeking JUNKIE or something!” And Otto, for the first time in his life, is completely stunned with SILENCE! Unable to think of anything witty or clever, as a remark to that! Marlene says: “Woah! Suzie, I think you BROKE him!” Suzie says: “At this point, it would be a REMARKABLE improvement! I have got $44.44 million to win, and no one is going to get in the way of--.”

(SNAP!!!!) And just like that, Suzie's safety harness unexpectedly BREAKS, and she begins to fall DOWN 103 stories of the Willis Tower! Otto yells: “SUZIE!!!! I'm COMING!!!!” And Otto, with a SPEED he has never experienced before, begins to SLIDE down the stair bannisters like crazy, hoping against hope, to catch up and SURPASS Suzie!!!! Sniz yells: “FONDUE!!!! I told you that material for the safety harness was QUESTIONABLE!!!! This is what happens when you decide to cheap OUT and use the inexpensive stuff!” Fondue says: “OOPS!” Otto pants and says: “Please get there, please get there, PLEASE get there!!!!” And he runs all the way to the bottom floor, rushes out the front door, and he says: “Tito! Now would be a good time for some of those Hawaiian gods you keep talking about to HELP me like you SAID they can!!!!” And, miraculously, by some MIRACLE, Suzie Carmichael DOES fall, right on TOP of Otto, but the inertia crushes HIM instead of her, BREAKING every bone in his body, but leaving Suzie relatively unscathed! Suzie cries: “OH!!!! Otto Rocket! You CARE!!!! You really DO care! I can't believe I was so AWFUL to you!!!!” (Confessional) Suzie cries, and she says: “You know, you never really know how much someone MEANS to you, until you plummet 103 stories off a building, and you fall onto someone, and they end up getting crushed, even after you've horribly berated them! Otto's crazy behavior actually saved me! You know, if anything about this season would've turned out the way either of us had REALLY wanted it to turn out, Otto would still be in this instead of me! And I think the reason he's been acting so crazy, is because he secretly resents me for stealing the spot-light away from him!” Suzie sighs, and she says: “It's a tough choice, the toughest choice I've ever had to make in my life, but, I've got to make things RIGHT to him!” (End Confessional) Sniz shouts: “We're very sorry about the accident, Suzie! We'll use better harnesses, and we can all try again!” Suzie shouts back: “Thanks for the offer, but I'm afraid that it looks like that I can't compete in this competition anymore!” Sniz loudly asks: “What do you mean?!” Suzie sighs, and says: “I already have an innocent person, who needs my 24 hour protection and care, in order for him to get better again. I'm dropping out of the competition. Otto no longer needs to be jealous of me.” (Confessional) Otto is completely bandaged, except for his face. Otto says: “Wow! Suzie just completely sacrificed her own game for ME!!!! Nobody has ever done something like that for ME before! Most other contestants, myself included, would've gone for the WIN!!!! I'm truly, and utterly amazed! I hope that someday, I can return the favor to her!” (End Confessional)

Sniz says: “Very well. Stay right there! We're coming down!” (Confessional) Sniz says: “Not the way I would've handled a Final Four Elimination, but as long as we have an exciting episode full of twists and turns, that's what REALLY makes the executives at Nickelodeon happy!” (End Confessional) The contestants are sitting around a swimming pool at a hotel, for the final Elimination Ceremony of the season! Patrick says: “Wait a minute! This swimming pool location looks VERY similar to the one we saw in Lone Pine, California! Are we LITERALLY re-using the exact SAME background location from THAT episode?!” Sniz says: “I hope you don't expect me to dignify that with a response! In any case, we are down to the last Elimination Ceremony, that we will have this season. You have all fought long and hard, but one of you will be leaving today. Surprisingly, someone else has already made the choice for you! Reggie, Skipper, and surprisingly Patrick, you all gets bags of popcorn, to symbolize your safety this evening! Suzie Carmichael has decided to drop out, in order to take care of Otto until he gets better. But don't worry, Suzie. For getting all the way to 4th place, you won't be going away empty-handed! You will be winning $41 million, for all your trouble!” Sniz hands Suzie a briefcase full of money, and she passes it to Otto. Suzie says: “Use half of this money for your medical bills. It's the least I can do to thank you for saving me.” Otto wearily says: “Thank you, Suzie. You're truly the best!” Sniz says: “Suzie, the swimming pool drop of shame awaits! Care to go out like the diva you are?!” Suzie says: “Always!” Suzie strips down to her bathing suit, does a triple-backflip off the diving board, and into the swimming pool!

Sniz says: “And just like that, Suzie is out of the competition!” Suzie surfaces, and she says: “I'm still technically HERE, you know!” Sniz says: “Yes, but you ARE technically out of the game! I don't think we could have EVER expected a Final Three like this! Heading into the Final stretch, it's Reggie Rocket, Skipper the Penguin, and Patrick Star! These three teen, TOON, titans, have managed to smash their way past 55 other contestants this season! Now, only one final challenge remains; themselves, and the very road that leads them, to the FINAL challenge this season! Where will they go to?! And what challenge awaits them, once they get there?! The Finale of this season will begin, in the next to last episode, of Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” /

Epilogue: Suzie is tending to Otto Rocket, in a hospital room at U.C.L.A., in California. Otto is contemplating all the things that happened to them this season via flash-back, while he sings a version of a song originally made famous by Chicago! / Genre: Soft Rock. Sub-genre: Chicago (the band). Song: “Will You Still Love Me?” / Sung by: Otto Rocket! / Otto: “Take me as I am. Put your hand in mine, now and forever! Darling here I stand, stand before you now! Deep inside I always knew! It was you, you and me! Two hearts drawn together bound by destiny! It was you, and you for me! Every road leads to your door! Every step I take forever more! Just say you'll love me for the rest of your life! I gotta lot of love and I don't want to let go! Will you still love me for the rest of my life? 'Cause I can't go on. No, I can't go on. I can't go on if I'm on my own! Take me as I am. Put your heart in mine, stay with me forever! 'Cause I am just a man who never understood; I never had a thing to prove! Till there was you! You and me! Then it all came clear so suddenly, how close to you that I wanna be! Just say you'll love me for the rest of your life! I gotta lot of love and I don't want to let go! Will you still love me for the rest of my life? 'Cause I can't go on. No, I can't go on! I can't go on, if I'm on my own! Do you believe a love could run so strong?! Do you believe a love could pass you by?! There was no special one for me! I was the lonely one, you see! But then my heart lost all control! Now you're all that I know! (Instrumental break!) Just say you'll love me for the rest of your life! I gotta lot of love and I don't want to let go! Will you still love me for the rest of my life? Because I can't go on (Can't go on)! No, I can't go on! Because I can't go on! (Will you still love me?) No, I can't go on! (Just say you love me). I can't go on without somebody I can count on! Because I can't go on! (Will you still love me?) No, I can't go on! (Just say you love me). Stay around, and never be alone. Because I can't go on! No I can't on! I can't go on, if I'm on my own.” (Instrumental finish) /

Episode Notes: Bubble Bass makes his second cameo appearance in his second episode in a row for this season. Suzie Carmichael unexpectedly drops out of the competition in this episode, due to her accidentally breaking Otto Rocket's body, after falling off of the Willis Tower. Thankfully, she receives $41 million for all her trouble. Featured songs in this episode, “If You Leave Me Now; Love Me Tomorrow; You're the Inspiration; Hard for Me to Say I'm Sorry/Get Away”; and “Will You Still Love Me?”; all songs originally performed by Chicago, ironically in the CITY of Chicago! Reggie Rocket, Skipper the Penguin, and Patrick Star, have now become the Final Three! /

Personal Notes: This was the second episode in a row where I had to really do my research, and have shown my work. Initially, I was unsure about how I could convincingly eliminate Suzie Carmichael, despite her being such a relatively competent competitor! Than the answer came to me; have something happen to her that was completely BEYOND almost anybody's ability to control! The reason why I have had Suzie and Otto snipe back and forth at each other, was to show the fact that not all couples who get together, end up being completely 100% agreeable with each other and NEVER fight! But just because couples fight, that doesn't necessarily mean that they DON'T love each other. In rare cases, sometimes HAVING the disagreements is what ends up making the relationship STRONGER! And that's what I wanted to have happen between Otto Rocket and Suzie Carmichael! Suzie might be out of the competition, but her love bond between Otto Rocket has just gotten that much stronger! Only two challenges remain! It is ANYONE'S guess, as to who will wind up winning the Grand Prize, in the season finale of “Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” / That's it for my episode idea THIS time!  Enough said, true believers! 

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

AWESOME!

[4EverGreen]

It's time for a case of “Meet Your Early Installment Weirdness!” Thanks to the stored archives of the TV.com forums on the Spongebob Community, and in honor of the upcoming tenth anniversary of my fan-made cartoon series, I have decided to fire up my time machine, and bring back, unedited, the first FULL three episodes of my cartoon series, back when it was “Total Cartoon Island,” for your viewing pleasure. Feel free to read, critique, and laugh, and also, be amazed at how much I've changed, from simply being content to nearly quote episodes of “Total Drama Island” verbatim, to actually coming up with my OWN episode ideas, locations, and characterizations! Needless to say, I've come a LONG way since this beginning! Enjoy! /

"I Want To Be Famous! Part 1." Sniz is on a wooden dock that's branching out from an island and says: "Welcome to the hottest new reality TV show to hit YOUR T.V., Total Cartoon Island! Here's how this show works: we've taken 22 contestants from 10 Nickelodeon shows and have recruited them to come to a musty old campsite somewhere in the waters of Lake Superior, Michigan. These campers will be playing with each other and against each other, all so that their show can be called the best Nickelodeon show of all time, and for a substantial award for whoever lasts the longest, namely a fortune of $150,000 which, lets face it, most of the campers will probably blow in a week. Every 3 days, a new challenge will be held, and one unlucky team will have to face the bonfire of judgment. The campers that do not win valuable marshmallows at the end of every challenge, must report to the dock of shame, catch the boat of losers, and leave. And they can never come back, EVER! At the end of 60 days, only 1 contestant will be able to win the grand prize! Who will win, who will lose, who will walk the dock of shame? Find out all those answers by staying tuned, to Total Cartoon Island!

Theme song is played to the tune of all the cartoon characters theme songs. Sniz is shown on a cell phone, Stimpy is shown swimming in the water, Reggie Rocket and Rocko are both riding/sharing a surfboard, Chuckie Finster gets bitten and scared by a bunch of wild animals, Otto Rocket laughs at his misfortune while Treeflower gives him a severe look, Susie Carmichael and Angelica Pickles are fighting each other on an inflatable raft until they fall over a waterfall, Jimmy Neutron is making karate poses until Lil Deville swings past him, she knocks into an outhouse, causing Patty Mayonaise to fall out of it, Fondue is about to serve a tied Roger Plotz and Ren Hoek some food, while Helga G. Pataki beats Patrick Star in arm wrestling, Daggett and Norbert are both looking at Aang who is admiring his muscles, Phoebe twirls a fire baton then throws it into the air, Sandy Cheeks and Spongebob Squarepants are looking at each other lovingly until Doug Funny pops up between the two of them. The camera then pans out to show all the characters in a circle surrounding a bonfire, while a wooden sign logo above the scene reads Total Cartoon Island created and developed by Jason Cantu.

Sniz is back on-screen and says: "Welcome back to Total Cartoon Island! And in the distance, here comes the boat with the first contestant! Oh, by the way, we told the campers they would be staying at a 5 star resort, so if they seem a little T.O'd, that's probably the reason why." The boat comes up and drops off Phoebe. Pheobe says: "Sniz Browkowski! It's so incredulous to finally meet you in person! You look shorter in real life." Sniz says: "The pleasure is all mine, Phoebe. And the next contestant is, Jimmy Neutron!" Jimmy says: "So you mean this game show is set in the wilderness and not on some kind of stage?" Sniz says: "That would be accurate." Jimmy says: "Yes! This will be so much more favorable to my skills!" Sniz says: "Contestant #3 is Chuckie Finster!" Chuckie says: "I thought the resort would be a bit fancier. Are you sure this is the right place?" Sniz says: "This is Camp Nickelodeon!" Chuckie says: "It looked a lot different on the brochure." Sniz says: "And Camper #4 is Sandy Cheeks." Sandy gets out and sarcastically says: "Oh, this looks promising. I didn't sign up for this!" Sniz says: "If you had read the fine print, you would've realized you did. And don't even think about trying to swim off this island, its surrounded by blood thirsty sharks who are dying to make a meal out of you."

Sandy says: "Fine, I can live with staying here." Sniz says: "Contestant #5 is Patty Mayonaise!" And when she gets out, Jimmy and Chuckie both whistle. Sniz says: "Not too shabby." Patty says: "You seem very familliar. Have I seen you somewhere before?" Sniz says: "I'm Sniz Browkowski...the star of Sniz and Fondue...the HOST of this show?!" Patty says: "Ohhh! So THAT'S where I know you from! Thank you Charlie!" Sniz says: "And contestant #6 is Helga G. Pataki!" Ominious music plays as a ring of fire surrounds the boat bringing Helga onto the dock, with her hair flowing in the wind. Sniz says: "Welcome Helga!" Helga said: "I thought there was going to be a gym here! I can't believe I packed so much exercise equipment! Hold this nerd boy!" And she drops the bags on Jimmy Neutron's feet who screams: "AHHH!!!! What did you pack in there, dumb-bells?!" And Helga says: "Yes." Sniz says: "And here comes Contestant #7, Stimpson J. Cat!" Stimpy jumps off and says: "Whoo! It's great to be here! I am so excited to be competeing against other Nicktoon stars! Say squirrel, what might your name be?" Sandy says: "Sandy Cheeks, and I am SO hoping that we get put together in the same team!" Stimpy says: "I am to! I hope we're lucky!" And contestant #8 is Spongebob Squarepants!" Spongebob says: "Sniz, I'm glad to meet your acquaintance. I watched all the episodes of your show when it was on Kablam! and that was some pretty good work!" Sniz says: "Thank you." Spongebob says: "Say Sandy, it's good to see you here." Sandy says: "Oh, hey Spongebob." Spongebob says: "Maybe later, we can go out together. It would just be the two of us, I can show you the island." Sandy gets a smile and says: "That would be nice." And then the next contestant comes up without any warning! Her shades have her sights set on the campers! Sniz says: "Angelica Pickles! Welcome to--" Angelica interrupts and says: "Can it! This isn't what I was promised! I'm calling my parents! You can NOT make me stay here!" Sniz says: "Well that's why we got lawyers! And Contestant #10 is Patrick Star, riding water-skis!" Sandy says: "Patrick, watch out for the rocks!" But it's too late, Patrick's skis trip over the rocks, and sends Patrick flying into Angelica's matched luggage, a bag falls into the water, and gets Angelica wet! Jimmy says: "Wicked wipe-out man!" And Patrick gives the thumbs up! Sniz says: "And here's contestant #11, the Dougster!" And Doug Funny pops out and says: "This looks cool! I see some of the ladies have already arrived!" Sniz says: "Contestant #12, Otto Rocket!" Otto jumps out and says: "This is a surprise! I DON'T like surprises!" Sniz says: "Your father warned us about that. He also told us that if you act up, that we are free to call him anytime."

Otto says: "Then I'll just make the best of things! Hi there, beautiful!" Angelica says: "Drop dead, you jock!" Otto says: "She wants me." Sniz says: "And the next contestant is Ren Hook!" Ren says: "It's Hoek you eediot! Not Hook! And did you get the memo about my life-threatening allergies?" Sniz says: "I'm sure someone did." Ren says: "Nice ear piercings boy. Did you do them yourself?" Otto says: "Yes. Do you want me to add some to YOUR face?!" Ren says: "Not really, and could you let go of my lip now?" Then the next camper arrives and Sniz says: "And here's the juvenile, 3 time held-back camper, Roger Plotz!" Roger doesn't look at Sniz but looks into the sky and says: "Look, that's a pretty bird!" Sniz says: "Roger, you're anti-social, don't have a lot of friends, don't get out much, is that right?" Roger says: "Correct!" Sniz says: "Look, just don't talk too much and TRY not to get voted off too early!" Roger says: "Fine, whatever!" Sniz says: "And here come the next contestants, Daggett AND Norbert!" Norbert says: "It's a summer camp! That's so neat! I've always wanted to go to a summer camp!" Daggett says: "Oh my gosh, me to! Eeee!!!!" Sniz says: "Contestant #17, Aang!" And Aang steps out of the boat looking strong and handsome and says: "Sniz, what's up?" Sniz says: "I'm good. You know the only reason you got picked for the show was to boost our ratings, right?" Aang says: "That's fine, I can live with that."

Stimpy says: "You're clothes are looking really ripped! Did you buy them that way?" Aang says: "No, I just had them for quite a while, but thanks for asking." Stimpy says: "You're welcome, why did I even say that?!" Sniz says: "Contestant #18, Suzie Carmichael is in the house!" Suzie says: "Can I get a holler?! Hey everyone, feel free to quit now because, I came to win!" Jimmy says: "Wow! I've never seen a girl like YOU in real life before! You're REALLY big, and LOUD!" Suzie says: "What did you say to me?! Oh, it's on now!" And it takes 6 people just to hold her back! Sniz says: "Contestant #19, Reggie Rocket!" Reggie steps out and says: "I see my brother is here to. I thought this would be some place warmer. Where's the beach?" Sandy says: "This is it, rocks and all." Reggie says: "So much for getting my surf on." Angelica says: "Ok then! We've all met surfer girl! Let's meet the next contestant already!" Sniz says: "And here's Treeflower!" And Treeflower says: "So this is my competition?" Sniz says: "More or less." Treeflower says: "Perfect!" Sniz says: "Contestant #21, from Australia, give it up for Rocko!" The wallaby jumps out and says: "What a swinging pad! Surfer shiela, what's your name?" Reggie says: "It's Reggie Rocket." Rocko says: "Reggie, throw another shrimp on the barbie because soon enough, you'll have the pleasure of attending a dance with a down-under theme sometime tomorrow night!" Reggie says: "Wow, that sounds cool!" Sniz says: "And finally, contestant #22, Lil Deville!" Lil stands on the boat and says: "Hi everyone!" But the boat hits a rock, and Lil falls off and hits her head on the dock before splashing in the water! Some of the guys laugh but Treeflower says: "Guys, she could be seriously hurt!" And as Treeflower pulls Lil out of the water, Lil recovers and shakes off the water. Lil says: "Thanks for the help!" Treeflower says: "Are you okay?" Lil says: "I'm fine! I actually needed a good head rush, and that hit the spot! So this is everyone? I have NEVER been to a place that had this many people before!" Stimpy says: "You're sure looking good!" Lil says: "The compliment is likewse the same for you!" Sniz says: "And there you have it! These are the campers who will be competeing on this show! Stay tuned for what happens next!" (Commercial Break.)

Sniz says: "Welcome back to the show! Campers, you've all gotten a chance to get introduced to each other and learn their names. Now its time to learn what this show is all about. This is reality game show. All over the island, cameras have been set up to record any interesting move that any of you might make. After careful editing, the footage is then put together and then distributed to T.V. stations all around the world! You 22 campers will be spending 60 days here, playing against each other, with each other, and maybe even forming romances." Rocko says: "Are there any chaperones here?" Sniz says: "You're all 16, the same age as regular Counselor in training. Besides me, my brother Fondue who you'll meet later, and several camera-people, you have the run of the island to yourself! Every 3 days, you will face a challenge that will test your wits, muscles, brains, and reflexes in different in interesting ways. To this end, you will be split into 2 teams. Whichever team wins the challenge earns invincibility and sometimes, a nice bonus prize. The losing team will have to vote someone off. After the end of each challenge, the camper that doesn't receive a marshmallow must immediately go to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and leave. And they can never come back, EVER! When I call your name, come stand by Stimpy! Doug, Spongebob, Aang, Norbert, Sandy, Patty, Ren, Phoebe, Susie, and Angelica! Your team shall henceforth be known as The Screaming Cats!" Stimpy says: "Wow! And I'M a cat! Cool!" Sniz says: "Everyone else, line up by Rocko! Helga, Daggett, Roger, Patrick, Chuckie, Treeflower, Jimmy, Reggie, Lil, and Otto! Your team will henceforth be known as The Killer Beavers!" Norbert says: "Wait! Daggett really IS a beaver! He should be a beaver! Sniz, make him a Beaver, please!" Sniz continues as though he didn't hear Norbert's request: "Your teams will be split up into two groups of cabins." Patty says: "Excuse me. Can I get the cabin nearest to the lake since I'm the prettiest?" Sniz says: "You are defininitely pretty, but that's not the way it works. The Beavers get the east cabins, the Cats get the west cabins, and you will be divided by gender. Boys get the south side of the cabins, girls get the north side of the cabins. So before you unpack, let me tell you some of the other things we have to offer! The Bait shop, the arts and craft center, the Tuck Shop, and you can enjoy yourselves in the Communal showers/ restrooms!" Patty says: "I don't want to be a Cuban!" Sniz says: "I said communal, NOT Communism!" Sandy says: "It means we shower together, Einstein!" Sniz says: "Also, note the building that looks like an Outhouse, it's actually a place called the Confessional."

(Confessional.) Sniz says: "You can come in here and talk about anything you want. Say what you think about your fellow campers, get something off your chest, or share your real thoughts so the whole world can know what you're thinking. Let it all hang out." / Stimpy says: "I've got something I've been wanting to share my whole life! BURRRPPP!!!!" / Patty with her back to the camera says: "Where's the camera-person? I'm confused." / A random duck is shown putting on lipstick. / Sandy says: "Okay. So far, this sucks." (End confessional.) The campers go their cabins unpack, then meet back at the mess hall. There, they meet Sniz's older brother Fondue! Fondue says: "I don't want to hear any lip about what I cook or how I cook it! I serve IT 3 times a day, and I expect you to eat IT 3 times a day!" Patty says: "Will we be getting all the major food groups? My dad said I should avoid anything with white flour or white sugar in it." Sandy looks at the bland, practically unappealing food and says: "I don't think that's going to be a problem." Ren says: "I think there's some hair in my food." Fondue yells: "WHAT did you say, skinny?!" Ren says: "Nothing!" Fondue says: "That's what I thought exactly! Take some extra, put some meat on those bones!" Stimpy says: "What do you mean? If it looks good, then it tastes good, and I'm loving it!" Sandy says: "Yeah, I hate to be predictable and complain on the first day, but I think I just saw my food move." And Fondue simply slams a wooden hammer on the sloppy joe and Sandy says: "Uh, on second thought, never mind." Chuckie says: "Our first competition is in ten minutes. What do you think it is?" Norbert says: "It's our first challenge! How hard can it be?" / The camera cuts to all the campers in their bathing suits on a tall cliff, overlooking lake superior! Spongebob says: "Oh, barnacles!" / To Be Continued... /

"I Want To Be Famous! Part II."

Sniz is on the dock and says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Island, 22 campers arrived and were divided into 2 teams, The Screaming Cats and The Killer Beavers! After getting settled in their cabins and getting acquainted with each other, they learned what their first challenge was going to be." Norbert says: "It's our first challenge. How hard can it be?" The camera changes to looking at all the campers in their bathing suit, looking down a tall cliff into Lake Superior. Sandy Cheeks says: "I repeat, I did NOT sign up for this!" After the theme song plays, Sniz says: "Campers! Welcome to your 1st challenge! This is divided into two parts. Part one: You will notice two ringed areas below you. The larger ringed area represents the part of the lack stockpiled with fresh-water, psychotic, killer sharks. The smaller ringed area inside the larger ringed area represents the safe zone, which I'm PRETTY sure is shark free." Suzie says: "Say what?" Sniz continues: "For every team member that jumps and survives, awaits a box of supplies. The items are tools which will be used for the second part of the challenge: building an awesome hot tub! Whichever team builds the best hot tub, wins invincibility! Killer Beavers, you've selected to go first. Time to decide if you have what it takes to jump." Stimpy says: "There's no need to worry. I hear that on these kinds of shows, they always have the interns test the stunts first, to make sure they're survivable." (Flashback.) Sniz says: "Fondue, we need to test the stunts first. You KNOW that!" Fondue says: "Do I LOOK like an intern to you?!" Sniz says: "No, but the ones we HAD are all in the hospital! Just jump it, you scaredy-cat!" Fondue says: "I don't get paid enough to do this." Fondue jumps, and he lands in the non-safe zone and says: "Hey, I made it! Wait, something just brushed against my leg! SHARK!!!!"

And Fondue runs for his life! Sniz says: "That seems surviveable enough." (End flashback.) Reggie says: "Who wants to go?" Otto says: "Ladies first." Reggie says: "Fine, I'll jump. It's no problem. Just an insane cliff dive 4,000 feet down. Hi-ya!" And she jumps into the safe zone! Patrick says: "My turn! Geronimo!" He jumps, but he lands on a buoy! Otto says: "Ooh, that's GOT to hurt!" Thankfully, Patrick slides into the safe zone! Jimmy says: "Time to show my wicked skills! Gotta blast!" And he jumps into the water, but he does the splits when he hits the safe zone, and screams in pain! Susie says: "He's going to feel THAT one tomorrow!" Chuckie says: "I can't do it man! Its too scary!" Sniz says: "What's the matter? Are you afraid of heights?" Chuckie says: "That's right! Ever since I was a young kid." Sniz says: "That's all right. You don't HAVE to jump, but that also makes you a scaredy-cat and you have to wear the scaredy-cat hat for the rest of the day." The hat is put on Chuckie and he says: "Oh, man!" Sniz points down the mountain and says: "Scaredy-cat path down that-a-way. Rocko, you're up!" Rocko jumps and yells: "Ban-zai!" Helga jumps and says: "Look out below!" Otto jumps and says nothing, Roger jumps and cheers, but he hits his head on the side of the cliff. Fortunately, they all land in the safe zone. Sniz says: "Treeflower, you're up!" Treeflower says: "Excuse me, I have a condition. It prevents me from jumping off cliffs." Sniz says: "You can be a scaredy-cat if you want, but it might cost your team the win, and then they'll hate you." Treeflower says: "It's a calculated risk. I've seen the other team, I don't think 9 of them will jump." Sniz says: "All right. Here's your scaredy-cat hat, walk down the scaredy-cat path. So that's 7 jumpers and 2 quitters. We're missing 2." Daggett says: "I'm not jumping without Norbert!" Norbert says: "You better believe him! Besides, Daggett is a Beaver, I HAVE to be a Beaver! PLEASE?" Lil says: "I'll switch places with Norbert!" Sniz says: "All right! Norbert, Daggett, you're BOTH Beavers! Lil, you're a cat!" Daggett says: "All right!" Norbert says: "Killer Beavers, here we COME!" And they both jump at the same time and land in the safe zone! Sniz says: "And that makes for 9 jumpers and 2 quitters! Screaming Cats, if you can beat that, we'll throw in some hand-carts which will make transporting the crates back to your cabins easier!"

Suzie says: "No problem! We can do that!" Angelica says: "I'm not jumping!" Suzie says: "Why?!"

Angelica says: "National TV! I'll get my hair wet!" Patty says: "If Angelica doesn't jump, then I won't jump!" Suzie says: "She's jumping! Angelica, I'm NOT losing this challenge just because you got a perm, you spoiled, rich, daddy's girl!" Angelica says: "Back off you ghetto-raised, booty-swinging, rapper singer wanna-be!" Suzie says: "Never, you two-time hating, two-time playing, selfish little brat!" Angelica says: "Well at least I'm popular." And everyone else says: "Oooh!" Suzie says: "You're jumping!" Angelica says: "Make me!" And Suzie throws Angelica off the cliff! Angelica says: "Suzie! You are SO dead!" Suzie says: "I threw you into the SAFE zone, didn't I? I just hope I can hit it to!" She jumps, screams and lands in the safe zone. Patty says: "I thought this was going to be a talent contest!" Sniz says: "Yeah...no." Then Patty jumps, Doug jumps, Lil jumps, Sandy jumps, and they all land in the safe zone. Then Aang jumps, but he doesn't land in the safe zone! Spongebob yells: "Aang, get out of there, swim!" Thankfully, Aang simply uses his water-bending abilities to throw the sharks from away from where the camp is, and everyone cheers as Aang is safe. Phoebe looks down and says: "I can't do it. I'm too scared. I'm sorry!" And everyone meows sarcastically at her. Patty says: "That is SO lame! Isn't that lame?" Angelica says: "Fully!" Then Ren does a beautiful jump, but he belly-flops when he lands in the safe-zone, but manages to get to show okay. Spongebob says: "Nice! See you at the bottom STIMPY!" And he jumps and lands in the safe zone! Sniz says: "Cats, you're now tied with the Beavers! Stimpy, all you have to do is jump if you want to beat them! So don't worry, there's no pressure! On second thought, there is pressure!"

(Confessional.) Stimpy says: "I was nervous before I did the jump. You see, I'm not that strong a swimmer." Roger says: "I'm looking at this guy and thinking, there's no WAY he's going to make it!" Sandy says: "I actually thought that if he jumps this, he's going to die." (End confessional.) Stimpy says: "I'm going to die now. I'm going to TOTALLY die now!" He backs up, stares at the cliff, gets a running start, then as he jumps he says: "Oh CRUDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!" And as he lands right in the middle of the safe zone, a bunch of water is doused out of the lake, and several of the campers are now in trees. Spongebob says: "Stimpy did it! You made it, way to go!" Susie says: "Come on, get on up to shore." Stimpy says: "Not just yet! I think I lost my swim trunks!" Everyone says: "NO WAY!" Aang says: "Too much information man!" (Commercial break.)

The Screaming Cats, now in their regular clothes, are pulling a couple of big hand carts behind them, happily singing: "99 bottles of pop on the wall, 99 bottles of pop. Take 1 down, pass it around, 98 bottles of pop on the wall!" The Killer Beavers however, AREN'T having such a happy time as they have to move the crates manually. Treeflower says: "OW! I think I got a splinter!" Helga says: "Shut it, and pick up your crate, quitter!" Treeflower says: "You need me! I've actually been an actual C.I.T. so I think I know how to help us win!" Reggie says: "I have to do some 'private' business." Helga says: "You need to make it quick! We're already behind!" Norbert says: "Daggett, I have to use the restroom as well." Daggett says: "Oh my gosh, me to!" And they duck behind a bush close to the tree that Reggie is using. The Cats continue singing: "84 bottles of pop on the wall, 84 bottles of pop. Take 1 down, pass it around, 83 bottles of pop on the wall." The Beaver's trials continue. A mosquito pokes Treeflower's left eye says: "OW! Something just bit me!" Otto says: "It's probably some bug. Get some aloe vera on it when we get back to our cabins." Norbert says: "My butt is itchy. Does your butt feel itchy?" Daggett says: "Not only that, it feels like its burning." Sniz drives up in a solar-powered ATV and says: "You guys are way behind! Like, WAY behind!" Helga says: "I am REALLY starting to hate him right now!" The cats continue singing: "66 bottles of pop on the wall, 66 bottles of pop. Take 1 down, pass it around, 65 bottles of pop on the wall!" Norbert says: "It feels so bad now! I have to scratch!" Daggett says: "Me to!" And as they scratch, they notice Treeflower's left eye is now swollen and pinkish! Norbert says: "That's not normal!" Reggie says: "When you went to the bathroom, did you notice if there were any leaves there?" Norbert says: "Yes, there were a lot of them and they were really close to the ground." Reggie asked: "And were they small, shiny, greenish, and circular." Norbert says: "Yes, it was!" Reggie says: "You two sat on Poison Ivy." Norbert says: "What are we going to do?! Someone help us!" And they rub their butts on the ground frantically. Roger can't help but laugh! The cats continue singing: "--take one down, pass it around, 44 bottles of pop on the wall. 44 bottles of pop on the wall, 44 bottles of pop, take one down, pass it around--" Doug says: "Wait! We're here!" Susie says: "Well that was pleasantly easy!"

The camera switches to the Cats trying to open the boxes, but they're using their mouths! Sniz says: "You're only allowed to use your teeth to pry the crates open! I came up with that one to make it more interesting!" Lil drags a rope to open a crate, she does, but as she lets go, it rubs in her mouth and she says: "OW! Rope-burn on my tongue!" And the other Cats manage to open their crates to. Stimpy says: "I've got some wood." Sandy says: "Here are some tools." Spongebob says: "And what appears to be a plastic pool liner." Suzie says: "Angelica, I'm sorry I threw you off the cliff earlier." Angelica says: "That's okay. I needed a good throw. I'm sorry I called you a Ghetto-raised, rap-star singing wannabe. And I LOVE your earrings!" Suzie says: "So are we cool?" Angelica says: "Like the other side of a cucumber!" She walks away and Patty comes up to her and asks: "Did you really mean what you said to Suzie Carmickey back there?" Angelica says: "You mean Carmichael. No, and those are the tackiest earrings I've ever seen!" Patty says: "Then why were you being nice to her?" Angelica says: "Haven't you ever seen one of these shows before? Keep your friends close, and keep your enemies closer." Patty says: "Oh! Angelica, I'm your friend, right?" Angelica says: "Sure, we're friends, for now." Most of the Beavers finally arrive at the cabins as Reggie says: "We made it." Suzie says: "Treeflower! What happened to your left eye, girl?!" Treeflower says: "It's just an allergic reaction." Roger picks his nose and says: "I think its getting worse." Treeflower whispers: "Don't let them know that!" Reggie says: "Nose-picking is SO gross!" Suzie says: "And aren't you missing a couple of REAL beavers?" Treeflower says: "They're getting a drink." And the camera shows Daggett and Norbert sitting in water, which makes their rash go away. Jimmy says: "Yeah, if they drink with their butts!" And Roger laughs again! Treeflower says: "Enough! We can't give up now! I have a plan! Since I've actually BEEN a C.I.T., I nominate that I be in charge of the hot-tub building!" Otto says: "What's your first order of business, cyclops?" Treeflower says: "YOU get a crate and open it! Rocko, you go find those itchy beavers! We'll need all the help we can get!" And the building begins. The Cats are working really well together, and operating like a fully-opeartion and decently oiled macine, the Beavers are uncoordinated, especially Reggie who accidentally keeps hitting Jimmy where it hurts the most! The cats put together a well-crafted, decently heated hot-tub. The Beavers tub is a slip-shod, leaking, hastily made job with cold water. Then its time to judge. Sniz inspects the cats job, and gives it a 9 out of 10! Yet the Beavers, their tub leaks in Sniz's face, then falls apart, scoring only a 1. Sniz says: "The first winning team is the Screaming Cats! Killer Beavers, it stinks to be you right now! You'll be facing the bonfire of judgement tonight, and voting one unlucky camper off."

In the cafeteria, Reggie says: "Who are we going to vote off?" Otto says: "I don't know about you, but I'm for voting the lady beaver off!" Treeflower says: "What?! But why?" Otto says: "Unless I'm mistaken, you and Chuckie are the only ones wearing scaredy-cat hats, and if we ever have to solve a complex algorithm, I feel comfortable with the smartie." Treeflower says: "But you need me! I'm the only one--" Reggie says: "Who's actually been a real C.I.T. at summer. So who would you pick?" Treeflower says: "What about Patrick?" Phoebe says: "No!" The other cats look at her and Phoebe says: "I mean, NO salt! There's no salt on this table. That's bad!" Otto says: "I've had enough 2nd rate food for one day. Come and get me when its time for the bonfire ceremony." Treeflower says: "But we haven't decided who's going to go yet!" Roger says: "I just don't get why we lost. I mean, THEY'RE team is the one with 6 girls!" Reggie says: "What's THAT supposed to mean?!" Helga says: "Elaborate for us, tall, skinny, and green!" Roger says: "Well, guys are so much stronger and faster at stuff then girls!" Rocko says: "You did NOT just say that!" Roger says: "My friends told me that I should help the girls here out, in case they can't keep up!" Helga picks Roger up in a strangle-hold and asks: "Do you STILL think we need your help keeping up?!" Roger weakly says: "Not really!" Jimmy says: "Go easy on him! At least he doesn't think all boys are smarter then all girls!" Roger says: "But we are!" At the bonfire, the Killer Beavers are facing judgement. Otto says to Roger: "Man, you've got a LOT to learn about the real world!" Sniz says: "In my plate, I hold some marshmallows. At summer camps, they represent a tasty snack enjoyed often with chocolate and graham crackers. Here, they represent security and safety. There are 11 campers, but only 10 marshmallows. When I call your name, come and pick up a marshmallow. The camper that doesn't receive a marshmallow, must pack their bags, report to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and leave. And you can never come back, EVER! Otto, Jimmy, Reggie, Norbert, Patrick, Rocko, Helga, Daggett, Chuckie. Campers, this IS the final marshmallow of the evening." (Dramatic music plays as Roger and Treeflower look at each other nervously. Roger shakes, while Treeflower is just motionless, Sniz looks at Roger, then Treeflower, then touches his chin.) Sniz says: "Treeflower. I can't say I'm shocked. I saw you picking your nose Roger. Not cool. Dock of Shame awaits." And Roger walks down the dock to the boat of losers." Later that night, Treeflower watches as the Screaming Cats celebrate their victory. Treeflower says: "Are you recording this? Good! They can all have their fun for now! But I am going to WIN this thing! And nobody's going to stop me!"

Episode Notes: Roger Plotz is the first camper to be voted off. Winning team: the Screaming Cats. /

"Don't Fall Asleep!"

Sniz says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Island, 22 campers arrived at Camp Nickelodeon, and learned that they will be spending the next 8.5 weeks here. The campers were then faced with their first challenge: facing an insane dive off a 5,000 foot cliff. While most campers jumped, a few chose to wore the dreaded scaredy-cat hat. At the bonfire, it came down to two campers. Treeflower has experience as a C.I.T. but she refused to take the plunge, while Roger Plotz's sexist comments managed to tick off every female camper here! In the end, Roger was the first camper chosen to walk the Dock of Shame, proving that lousy schooling and reality TV really don't mix. Who will be the next to walk this lame dock? Find out in the most dramatic bonfire ceremony yet on Total Cartoon Island!

The campers are all asleep in their beds, until Sniz blows an air horn through a megaphone! Suzie yells: "EXCUSE ME! It's 7 AM! Do I LOOK like a farm girl to you?!" Sniz says: "No questions. Get up, you're burning precious daylight!" The majority of the campers while groggy, are nevertheless standing to hear the next challenge. Doug sees Helga listening to music on her cell phone, but when he tries to get close to it, Angelica tries to chomp at him and growls! Angelica says: "Sniz, are those new shorts? You look really buff in them!" Sniz says: "I know! Campers, your next challenge begins in exactly 60 seconds!" Stimpy says: "Excuse me! I don't think that's enough time to eat breakfast!" Sniz says: "Don't worry, you will all get breakfast, once you finish your ten mile run around the island!" Helga says: "Oh, so you're FUNNY now! You want to know what I think would be REALLY funny?!" Reggie and 5 other campers grab Helga to restrain her! Reggie says: "Helga! Either control your anger, or get some anger management therapy!" Helga says: "Sniz, you're enjoying this, aren't you?!" Sniz says: "Only a lot!" (Confessional.) Sandy says: "Yeah, this place still stinks. But now that I'm here, I might as well try to win." Reggie says: "Helga has GOT to get control of her emotions! She's only been here 2 days and she's already thrown her suitcase, and broke a lock on one of the doors." Ren says: "I'll only run for 2 things, politics and money. Guess which one I'm running for today." Sniz says: "On your mark, get said!" And a cork-gun pops: "GO!" / 2 miles: Athletes like Helga, Aang, Reggie, Rocko, and Otto are out in front, Norbert, Daggett, Treeflower, Doug and Patty are walking behind, and others like Sandy and Jimmy are straggling behind. Jimmy says: "How much longer?" Sandy says: "No idea. And don't walk next to me." Ren runs past Angelica to catch up with the others. Angelica says: "Do you mind?!" (Confessional.)

Angelica says: "I DON'T run. And I especially won't run in expensive dress shoes from Paris, France!" Aang says: "I could've used my air-bending abilities to really fly around the island, but Sniz said that would be cheating. Besides, running is good for building endurance." (End confessional.) Angelica walks past Stimpy who's drinking pond water. Stimpy gasps: "Can't catch breath. Must have condition!" Angelica says: "It's called over-eating. Look it up!" Suzie says: "So what's your excuse?! You white, skinny, annoying--I'm TOO tired for insults!" Sniz drives past them and says: "Pick it up, campers! If you're not back by dinner, you don't eat!" 6 PM: Most of the campers have arrived back at the cafeteria. Only a few stragglers remain. Stimpy busts in carrying a collapsed Ren. Stimpy says: "Clear a table, stat!" Suzie says: "We did it, we made it!" Treeflower says: "What kept you Jimmy? We just lost the challenge!" Jimmy says: "I think I'm having heart palpitations!" Sandy says: "Well if they lost, that means we won!" Sniz says: "Running wasn't the challenge!" Suzie says: "Say what?" Sniz pulls a rope connecting a drape says: "Who's hungry?" And reveals a bunch of delicious delicacies. (Confessional.) Sandy says: "After 2 days of sloppy joes cooked by Fondue, I nearly cried when I saw the buffet table." Stimpy says: "And then I saw the table, filled with food! GLORIOUS food! There was Powdered Toast, and sausages, and chocolate bars, and baked beans in maple syrup! Can I just have a happy crying moment?" (End confessional.) 8 PM: Most of the campers are woozy, having nearly eaten to the point where most of them would've burst! Sniz says: "Are you ready for the 2nd part of the challenge?" Stimpy says: "I thought eating was the 2nd part." Sandy says: "What more do you want from us?" Angelica says: "Weird squirrel girl is right. Haven't we been through enough?" Sniz says: "Let me think about it--no. It's time for the Awake-a-thon!" Ren says: "The What-a-thon?" Sniz says: "Don't worry. This is an easy one! You campers only need to not fall asleep. The last camper awake and standing, wins invincibility for their team." Sandy says: "Wait a minute. You mean the 10 mile run and the Eat-off was just to make it harder for us to stay awake in this thing? That's good!" Sniz says: "Campers, to the bonfire!" Spongebob says: "Sandy, how long do you think it will be before everyone is out cold?" Sandy says: "Maybe an hour, give or take. Maybe less."

8 AM: Sniz says: "We are now 12 hours into the competition with all 21 campers still wide awake." Jimmy says: "Stay awake for 12 hours?! I could do that in my sleep!" And he collapses. (Confessional.) Helga says: "When it comes endurance, I've got plenty of it! I plan on staying alert! My older sister Olga has NEVER gone on one of these shows, SHE'S not cut out for it! I'm going to do what she can't and win!" Sandy says: "The awake-a-thon was the most brutal thing I had ever done in my life." (End Confessional.) Ren falls asleep, making the score 10-9 Cats to Beavers. Sandy says: "This is the most boring thing I have EVER done in my life." Spongebob says: "It could be worse. I could be stuck here without having you to talk to." And Sandy smiles. (Confessional.) Chuckie says: "I signed up for this show to get over some of my old phobias. This was DEFINITELY my moment to prove that I wasn't afraid of failing, and take this challenge by the horns!" Angelica says: "So my strategy is to get 2 other campers to form an alliance with me, and take them with me to the Final 3. The question is, who can I get who's either dumb and/or desperate enough to do whatever I say?" (End Confessional.) Phoebe says: "Patty, what are you doing standing on your head?" Patty says: "I'm trying to get the blood to rush to my head. I think its working! You can try, if you want!" Angelica says: "Perfect! Phoebe, Patty, lets talk! I have a plan, to get me and 2 other people into the Final 3, and I chose you girls." Patty says: "Phoebe, we're part of an alliance. Angelica says: "Do you know what this is? This is a VERY big deal. It will require a lot of trust and a lot of honesty. You will do ANYTHING I say? Since I found this alliance, I'm team leader." Patty says: "Sounds good to me." Phoebe says: "Speaking of alliances, I'm interested in making allies with Patrick!" Angelica says: "I don't think so! You can't date him!" Phoebe says: "Why not?" Angelica says: "You can't inter-team date! It's against the rules! Remember what I told you about trust? Of course, you're free to leave the alliance at any time. But if you do, I can't protect you from getting kicked off." Patty says: "No! We want to be in the alliance!" Angelica says: "Good, then its settled." (Confessional.) Phoebe says: "Angelica said I couldn't date Patrick, but she never said I couldn't like him." Patty says: "Oh my gosh! Angelica is taking me to the Final 3! I'm going to the Final 3, I'm going to the Final 3! I wonder what will happen then?" (End Confessional.) Helga hangs up her cell-phone and says: "I'm going to the restroom." But her cell-phone drops out of her pocket. Angelica sees this, and 'casually' picks it up. Patty says: "Angelica, isn't that Helga's phone? Isn't she going to be REALLY mad when she finds out it is gone?" Angelica says: "It is, and that's EXACTLY what I'm counting on!" (Commercial.)

8 PM: More campers have bitten the dust. The tally is 7-4 in the Cats' favor. Sniz says: "Congratulate yourselves! You made it to the 24 hour mark! Time to kick it up a notch! Fairy tales!" Sandy says: "He is NOT serious!" Sniz says: "Once--" and suddenly the tally is down to 4-3, still in the Cat's favor. Sniz says: "Well that was easy!" 12 AM: The 28 hour mark. Sandy says: "Look at Aang. He hasn't moved in 6 hours! What concentration!" But when Sandy pokes Aang, his eyes open up, revealing that he had FAKE eyes on his real ones! Helga says: "His eyelids are painted, I saw it!" Sniz says: "Get OUT! I've got to see this!" And Sniz inspects Aang's forged eyes and says: "Aang, that is REALLY crazy and cool, but you're still out!" The tally goes down to 3-3. 32 hours later: Otto puts Jimmy's hands into ice water. Otto says: "Oh it works! Dude wet his pants!" And Jimmy looks ashamed! Ren is laying next to Doug, kissing his ear, then wakes up shocked at the unintentioned love fest! Sandy says: "I'd wrestled Neptune for a coffee right now." Sniz brings a cappucino and says: "Come on campers! What is WRONG with you? Fall asleep already!" Sandy says: "You got to hook me up! I'd even eat the grinds!" Sniz says: "All right, these 5 in the circle stay with me. Everyone else, please take a shower! I didn't want it to come to this. I said that to Fondue last night. I said 'Brother, I don't want it to come to this.' But these campers are tough! So, I've come up with the most boring, most sleep inducing activity I could find! The History of Nickelodeon: A Pop-Up Book. Chapter 1: The Angry Beavers: a symbol of Canada, an industrious hard worker, and they make a 'dam' fine hat." Helga says: "Boo! Stink!" 4 hours later: Angelica and Helga have finally fallen asleep while Sniz continues to read. Sniz says: "...which in turn was the precursor for The Rugrats Movie." Spongebob falls down exhausted and Sandy says: "No! Don't leave me!" And the tally is down to 1-1. Sniz says: "Time for a restroom break." Otto says: "I've held it this long. I can hold it all day." Sandy says: "But can you hold it 10 more chapters?" Sniz says: "You've got 10 minutes, as long as you don't mind Cosmo filming you." Otto says: "Fine! Just stay out of the stall!" 10 minutes later: Cosmo says: "Otto, you've got to get out." And Cosmo peeks to see Otto has taken slumber. Cosmo whispers into Sniz's ears and Sniz says: "And it's official! Otto took a snooze while doing business! Which means the winner of the awake-a-thon is Sandy! Well-done!" Sandy weakly says: "Yeah." Then falls asleep.

At the Beavers campsite, it looks like a war zone as stuff is FLYING out of the cabins! Helga yells: "AHHH!!!! WHERE is MY cell phone?! One of you must have STOLEN it! Nobody is going ANYWHERE until I get my cell phone back! AHHH!!!!" Reggie says: "Whoever took Helga's cell phone better give it up now before she destroys the entire camp." Angelica walks up and says: "It looks like a cyclone hit this place. What happened here?" Reggie says: "Someone took Helga's cell phone and she won't rest until she finds it." Angelica pulls the cell phone out and says: "Could this be it? I found it in the restrooms last night. She must have dropped it." Angelica says: "My cell phone! My wonderful, beautiful cell phone, thank you, thank you!" Angelica walks away and says: "Tricking a team into turning on their own team-mates, easiest play in the book." Helga says: "So, sorry for that little misunderstanding. I guess nobody stole my cell phone after all! Haha! Campers, campers? OKAY, MAYBE I over-reacted a little. Ha, haha." At the bonfire, the Beavers once again face judgement says: "I've got 10 campers here tonight. But only 9 marshmallows. When I call your name, come claim your marshmallow. The camper who doesn't receive a marshmallow, must go to the dock of shame, get on the boat of losers, and leave forever, and they can never come back, EVER! Otto, Treeflower, Norbert AND Daggett, Chuckie, Patrick, Reggie, Rocko. Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the evening." (Dramatic music plays. Jimmy's eyes are dilating while Helga's pupils are growing, and Jimmy is sweating profusely.) Sniz says: "Jimmy. Helga, the Dock of Shame awaits." Helga says: "Nice. REALLY nice! Who needs this STUPID TV show anyways?!" And she kicks Fondue! Fondue says: "What did I do?!" (Confessional.) Angelica says: "Helga was one of the Beavers' stronger players, and now she's gone. I am SO running this game!" Reggie says: "It's like I've said. People can't just act like total raging psychopaths, then just expect people to forgive them. No matter how strong, fast, or athletic they are. She's NEVER going to have a career if she doesn't get her act together!" (End Confessional.) Treeflower waves and says: "Buh-bye, Helga!" Helga grunts and throws a sharp stick at Tree flower which misses as it hits above her head. Treeflower says: "Touchy!" On the boat, Helga says: "I guess my anger got the better of me, again! But whatever! They just lost their fiercest competitor. I hope they realize that!" Treeflower says: "To the Killer Beavers, and to NOT ending up here again next week!"

Episode Notes: Winning team, the Screaming Cats. Eliminated, Helga G. Pataki. /

Personal Notes: It sure is interesting to note that originally, back in the early days of making these episodes, I never HAD any personal notes to make, mostly because I never felt like there WAS anything personal of my own that I needed to add! These three episodes finally being added onto my own topic, are mostly just for completion purposes, to show that I DID have a rough beginning, but have since, become polished into something much more! I may be willing to add in some of the MORE missing episodes onto my topic, IF, (in the highly unlikely event, there is any demand for them!) / Enough said, true believers! 

[4EverGreen]

Since at least ONE person has reacted favorably to my older, “Total Cartoon Island” episodes (heaven KNOWS why); I have decided to bring back episodes four, five, and six, all in their unaltered, gritty, shameless “Total Drama Island” rip-off infamy. Feel free to read and critique my early installment unoriginality, if you so desire. /

“Basebrawl!" Sniz is on the dock and says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Island, the campers put their endurance to the test, and tryed their best to stay awake. Sandy Cheeks and Spongebob started to form a romance, Jimmy wet his pants, and Otto took a snooze in the restroom, giving the Screaming Cats their second win. Meanwhile, Angelica Pickles decided to form an alliance. Then she stole Helga's cell phone, then sat back to watch the fireworks fly. Even though Helga could've pretty much kicked anyone's butt on the island, in the end, it was her temper that got her kicked off. Can the Killer Beavers avoid losing yet again, and who will be the next to walk this lame dock. Find out on Total Cartoon Island! / In the early morning, Stimpy is up and exercising. He shakes Ren and says: "The sunrise is absolutely gorgeous! You better get ready, because I have a feeling that today, is going to be an exciting day." Ren says: "Sure! Fine, whatever." (Confessional.) Stimpy says: "Ren is very protective of me. Ever since we were 4, he's kept bullies and pests from trying to hurt me. He's a swell pal! I'm glad he's here with me on this island." Ren says: "I don't know what it is about Stimpy. But for some reason, it's IMPOSSIBLE for me to stay angry at him. Trust me, I have tried! But honestly, I really DO like Stimpy, but only as a friend, okay?! I don't want people getting the wrong ideas!" (End confessional.) In the cafeteria, most of the campers have already arrived for breakfast, Otto walks in looking very tired. Sniz says: "Rocket boy, what's wrong?! You look like death!" Otto says: "Stick it! Jimmy kept me up with his stupid snoring!" Fondue says: "3 nights with no sleep? How much are you HURTING, man?!" Otto yells: "Do you want to find out?" Fondue says: "No, it's cool!" Then Jimmy walks in, he thinks that everyone is looking at him with admiration, but in truth, they're all laughing at a mustache that was drawn on his face with black marker. Jimmy says: "What's with the commotion?" Rocko says: "Someone messed with your face, lad." Jimmy looks at his reflection in a spoon and says: "Neat, it's puberty!" Then Sandy walks in tiredly and Sniz says: "Everybody, Sandy is here!" And all the cats clap, but Patty asks: "Angelica, what are we clapping for?" Sandy says: "I'm still so tired! I can't feel my face!" Sniz says: "Be sure to eat up! In 10 minutes, we're playing baseball!" (Confessional.) Doug says: "Now we're talking! Back home in Bluffington, I hit homers and I throw out losers all the time! I'm good, but not as good as Patty though. She's REALLY amazing! But, I think she only likes me as a friend." Treeflower says: "The Killer Beavers are SO sucking right now! Yes, Helga was a psycho, but at least she was an athletic psycho!" (End confessional.) Angelica says: "Patty, Phoebe, lets go over the rules one more time. Rule #1, I'm the Team Leader, and I make the rules. Rule #2..." Patty says: "Breaking the rules can result in you getting kicked out of the alliance?" Angelica says: "Exactly! Rule #3, I can borrow any of your stuff without asking, but my stuff is strictly off limits." Phoebe says: "I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with THAT rule." Angelica says: "That's okay, I can change it. Or I could find 2 other people to take with me to the Final 3."

Patty and Phoebe shake their heads no. Angelica says: "That's what I thought. Let's have a little fun with the Beavers! Hey beavers! Way to kick off your strongest player! Why don't you just give up now?!" Treeflower throws food at her, but she sidesteps it and it hits Sandy. Angelica says: "Missed me!" / At a field, everyone is wearing baseball uniforms. The Cats are wearing green uniforms, the Beavers are wearing red uniforms! Sniz says: "Here's how our version of baseball is going to work. Since this is a half-hour show, we're going to do 5 innings. In each inning, one team must eliminate 5 campers by tagging them with a baseball. But if a camper can't hit the ball, they're automatically out. If a camper hits the ball out of the field and its a home run, they can un-eliminate 1 other camper. If a camper makes a home run, they can switch out and trade places with another camper. Whichever team wins 3 innings, wins invincibility. Cats, since you have 2 extra people on your team, you'll have to sit one camper out on each turn." Angelica says: "We can't afford to get lazy. The Beavers will be trying extra-hard to catch up. Sandy is in no condition to play, who wants to sit with her until we need her? Ren, keep her company!" Ren says: "I am insulted you would suggest such a thing! I want to win this game as much as you do!" Lil says: "Well you're not exactly the best at running, and with those skinny arms, I have serious doubts about your throwing ability!" Ren says: "Give me a chance! Let me play this round and IF I don't do good, you can sit me out the rest of the game!" Phoebe says: "He can go, I'll sit with Sandy." On the Beavers side, Otto says: "Wake me up, and it will be the last thing you do." Reggie says: "This is all YOUR fault Jimmy! You and your stupid snoring!" Jimmy says: "It's called a MEDICAL CONDITION, gosh!" Patrick says: "I can win this game on my own! This is the game I was born to play!" (Confessional.) Patrick says: "I'd like to thank everybody who helped me get to where I am today. My mom, my dad, Gary, Squidward and Mr. Krabs, I wouldn't be here without you!" Ren says: "The last thing I want to play is sports, but if I don't want to be eliminated, I need to play along. All I have to do is play better than most of the other campers, and I'll make it through another challenge."

(End confessional.) The 1st inning begins. Ren's pitching arm turns out to be pretty good! He strikes out Chuckie, Norbert gets a hit but it's caught by Spongebob, Daggett is struck out, Treeflower gets a hit and makes it to 1st, Jimmy strikes out, Treeflower during Jimmy's turn tries to steal 2nd, but Ren throws her out before she can get there, giving the Cats the 1st inning winning. Angelica says: "Ren, your arms might be skinny, but they sure are powerful! How can you throw like that?" Ren says: "Years of practice! I don't like it when someone threatens my friend Stimpy, so I throw whatever I have on me at Stimpy's attackers, and drive them away! That's why I'm able to throw so good!" Angelica says: "I'm impressed! Play this round to! We're up to bat!" The 2nd inning begins, and Patrick's pitching. He tries to throw fast balls, but he doesn't look at where he's throwing! Patrick hits Daggett, Jimmy, Reggie, Chuckie, and Phoebe! Treeflower says: "Finally!" Patrick says: "Phoebe, are you okay?!" Phoebe says: "I think so!" But Ren has picked up the dropped ball and tags Patrick out, ending Round 2. Phoebe says: "I'm sorry, it looks like your team lost again!" Patrick says: "That's okay. Want to take a walk to make your injury feel better?" Phoebe thinks: Have to say no, HAVE to say no! Then says out loud: "Okay!" Angelica says: "Phoebe, where are you going?! You are THIS close to getting kicked out of the alliance!" Ren says: "Instead of complaining, why don't you play? Because unless I'm mistaken, I've already played twice, while YOU haven't even gotten up to bat!" Angelica says: "If you don't watch it, I'll strike YOU out!" Stimpy says: "Don't hurt him! He's just trying to help the team out!" Ren says: "This is a change. You're actually protecting ME for once! I'm flattered!" (Confessional.) Ren says: "I didn't think Stimpy had it in him to stand up for me. Maybe I, NO! Don't forget yourself! He is a FRIEND! That's it! It doesn't run any deeper then that!" Reggie says: "Patrick may be a jock, but he has NO talent! We Beavers have GOT to come up with a killer strategy before we lose!" (End confessional.) Rocko says: "We can't lose another round. Jimmy, wake up Otto!" Jimmy says: "Are you crazy?! He will kill me!" Reggie says: "He's not REALLY going to kill you. He wants to win to. But if on the off-chance that he does kill you, you're the only camper we can afford to lose this round." So Jimmy pokes a long stick onto Otto's face who wakes up and breaks it! Otto says: "You better have a good reason for waking me up!" Reggie says: "I know you need your beauty sleep, but if we don't win the next 3 innings, we'll lose again! You NEED to help us!" Otto says: "And WHY should I do that, SISTER?" Reggie says: "Because if WE lose this game, then YOU'RE the next one who's going home!" Otto says: "Fine! I'll play! But you must do everything I say! In the 3rd inning we're going to use a little strategy that I'VE used against Lars and his cronies. It's called, 'Crush the big guy!'"

In the 3rd inning, Otto is pitching, and he throws 5 balls at Stimpy, and they all hit hard! The Beavers see his strategy. Norbert, Rocko, Treeflower, and Reggie all follow his procedure and get out Patty, Doug, and Suzie! Aang used his air-bending abilities to make the balls miss him, but he's disqualified because Sniz says Aang can't use his super-powers since it would give him an unfair advantage, and he can only use his own skills. The score is 2-1. Reggie says: "That was a great round! We actually have a chance to win this! I say we do exactly the same thing! Jimmy, sit this one out to!" Jimmy says: "But I sat the LAST one out!" Rocko says: "It's for the good of the team, mate!" Ren says: "Not that it matters to any of YOU eediots, but I will NOT let the team lose another round! And WHERE'S Phoebe?! AHHH!" Phoebe and Patrick are sitting underneath a dock kissing each other. Ren says: "Surprise! If I didn't know any better, Phoebe, I'd think you didn't LIKE it here!" Patrick says: "Why don't you just leave us alone?!" Ren holds up a canoe and says: "Why don't YOU dodge THIS?!" And he throws it onto Patrick severely hurting him! Ren says: "Get in a seat and STAY there!" Phoebe says: "Okay!" Ren says: "Aang, what's the damage?" But the 4th round is over, as Lil, Doug, Spongebob, Sandy, and Patty have all been eliminated. Angelica says: "Wonderful! Got any MORE brillant ideas, Mr. Pitcher?!" Ren says: "I don't exactly seeing YOU coming up with anything! At least I HAVE a plan!" Angelica says: "What plan is that? Stay the course until we lose every single following challenge?!" Ren says: "I'll have you know that I was elected president of my high school, and unlike that EEDIOT George W. Bush, I'm not messing up by letting the power go to my head unlike YOU, Miss 'Don't-Make-Me-Play-I'll-Break-a-Nail!'" Angelica says: "I played in the 1st round so SHUT it before I stick a nail up YOUR--" Stimpy says: "Stop it! Can't you see the arguing is tearing this team apart?!" Ren calms down and says: "For once, I agree with him." (Confessional.)

Ren says: "There was a time when I would've reacted a LOT worse then that. I might've even said that I would've KILLED someone! Thankfully, Stimpy showed me that what I needed was some emotional outlets, and while I abhor physical activity, I must admit that nothing is better for making anger go away like sports." Angelica says: "If this was a popularity contest, I would SO be kicking Ren's butt! Make no mistake, if we lose this thing, he's going DOWN!" (End Confessional.) It's the 5th and final round! It's touch and go as the two teams keep see-sawing from one team having more members to the other team having more members, as everybody takes at least 1 turn playing. But eventually, all but one player is elimated from each team, leaving Stimpy to throw out Jimmy! Stimpy says: "Sorry Jimmy, you're going down! Nothing personal, you understand!" Otto says: "Good-night, Jimmy!" And Stimpy throws a lot of balls at Jimmy, but he keeps dodging them all using fancy "Matrix" moves! Ren says: "Hold the phone! What WAS that?!" Reggie says: "Time out! Jimmy, where did you learn to do that?" Jimmy says: "Cindy Vortex taught those moves to me. She said they might come in handy for a challenge here, and it looks like she was right!" Rocko says: "You've got fancy moves like an Outback Dingo, but avoiding throws isn't enough to win this." Norbert says: "He's right, you either have to throw HIM out--" Daggett adds: "Which we know you can't do--" Reggie says: "Or catch the ball and get Stimpy eliminated." Jimmy says: "I can do that. I've got nothing to lose!" The cats are all chatting for Stimpy, whose hard throws will most CERTAINLY knock Jimmy off his feet, while the Beavers are looking nervously. Stimpy says: "Lil, Ren, this throw is for YOU!!!!" And Stimpy throws the ball as hard as he can, it knocks Jimmy to the ground, but when Jimmy gets up, HE'S holding the ball! Meaning the Killer Beavers win! Stimpy says: "No!!!! Why?! Why did it have to be this way?!" Sniz says: "Screaming Cats, what happened? I thought you could win this." Ren says: "So did I but apparently, I was WRONG!!!! MORONS!!!! I'm surrounded by MORONS!!!! None of you even has a BRAIN!!!! It's no WONDER we lost! You are all so INCOMPETANT!!!! It's like I'm the only one with an IQ on this team!!!! I have NEVER been so humiliated in all my life!!!!" Suzie says: "What does Stimpy see in you?" Sandy says: "You are rude, loud, obnoxious, and you got completely upset over NOTHING!" Aang says: "I certainly don't trust YOU on the team!" Angelica says: "Ren, you're DEAD!" (Confessional.)

Ren is slapping himself and says: "Stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID!!!! I couldn't have handled that any worse if I TRIED! But it's not MY fault! My parents never taught me how to control my anger! I mean, Stimpy helps, but its so hard to control it sometimes! Maybe it's not over. I mean, everybody likes Stimpy. They'll listen to him. Besides, they wouldn't get rid of genius. Come ON! They'll never kick me off!" Aang, Lil, Doug, Phoebe, Spongebob, Sandy, Patty, Susie, and Angelica all say: "Ren!" Stimpy says: "I heard that Ren was voting off Phoebe because she dated someone on the other team. I think Phoebe is nice, but if she messed with Ren, then she is SO dead now!" At the bonfire, the Screaming Cats are facing judgement. Sniz says: "You have all cast your votes. There are 11 campers sitting in this circle, there are 10 marshmallows. When I call your name, come pick a marshmallow. The camper that doesn't receive a marshmallow must report to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and get the heck out of here. Stimpy, Angelica, Patty, Sandy, Spongebob, Aang, Lil, Doug, Susie. Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the evening." (Dramatic music plays, Phoebe looks nervous while Ren looks confidant.) Sniz says: "Phoebe." Ren says: "You've got to be kidding me! One mistake, and you kick me off?!" Stimpy says: "I don't understand it! I told everyone to vote for Phoebe! I thought for sure she would lose!" Susie said: "We made up our minds! Except for Ren and Stimpy, we ALL voted Ren off!" Ren says: "Stimpy, you truly are a friend. I knew you'd never betray me." Stimpy says: "Thank you Ren. This is going to be hard, but somehow, I'll win this game for the both of us." Ren says: "Somehow, I believe you." On the boat, Ren says: "Good-bye Stimpy! And good luck!" Stimpy says: "Thank you Ren, good-bye!" (Confessional.) Aang says: "That air-bending of mine got me in trouble. I better be careful from now on. I can't take the chance of unintentionally cheating again." (End Confessional.)

Episode Notes: The Killer Beavers win, and Ren Hoek is eliminated. /

"Culture Shock!" Sniz is on the dock and says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Island, the campers were surprised when they had to face off against each other in the summer game of baseball. The Screaming Cats were confidant as Ren Hoek had a surprisingly good throwing arm, and it didn't help the Killer Beavers that Patrick's game was WAY off, and the fact that Jimmy Neutron throws like a sick girl. But Otto Rocket woke up from a monster nap and got the Killer Beavers back into the game, putting the hurt on the Screaming Cats. But when it came down to Stimpy and Jimmy, everyone was surprised when Jimmy accomplished the unthinkable and got the Screaming Cats eliminated, giving the Killer Beavers their first win of the game. Needless to say, Ren was NOT pleased about this, and made it known to everyone. Bad mistake, because at the bonfire, Ren was faced with the unpleasant surprise that with the exception of his best friend Stimpy, everyone else gave him the boot out of the game and off of the show. What new challenge awaits the campers this time, who will take the next boat to Loserville, Population 3? Find out on Total Cartoon Island!

In the early morning, Sandy is writing in a diary, jotting down her thoughts about her sudden love interest, Spongebob Squarepants. She documents about their time during the Awake-a-thon, how they shared their favorite things with each other, learning what the other liked, and bonding on an emotional level. As soon as she finishes getting her thoughts on paper, she hears Sniz ringing a triangle, meaning that it's time for breakfast. In the cafeteria, Sniz announces: "Today, my brother Fondue and I decided to do something different. In this challenge, you won't have to perform to the best of OUR standards, but rather, show us how good YOUR standards are! Today's challenge, is all about representing your culture. What your ancestry is, what you're good at, and who you are as a camper. Each team must select 3 campers who they feel has the best cultural background and talent. The campers will be judged by Fondue and myself. Whichever team gets the highest combined score wins invincibility for their team. The Culture Contest begins at 6 P.M. Good luck!" (Confessional.) Aang says: "Finally! A good chance to put my air-bending, water-bending, earth-bending, and fire-bending skills to the test! I'll be able to use my skills to an advantage for once, and show everyone what the Avatar is all about!" Angelica says: "On the one hand, I could let Aang pull a rabbit out of his hat or whatever it is he does for talent, and let him win invincibility for my team. But I've also got to think about the future. With his special abilities, he clearly has an advantage over me. And if he has an advantage, that means that it will be harder for me to get rid of him in a future vote-off, and I clearly can't out-muscle him, so I'm going to out-think him, and get rid of him while it's still nice and early!" Spongebob says: "There's no doubt that I've got talent, I've also got facial appeal. In fact, I can think of only one thing that's a drawback for me. I'm so talented, I'm not sure how I'm EVER going to pick just one talent to use for the Culture Contest." Rocko says: "A lot of people have this misconception about Australia, that all my people are good for are making boomerangs and didjeridu's. This is my chance to change people's views on that." Suzie says: "I'll tell you who's got talent, it comes from the girl who's got funk. And I've got plenty of funk, holla!" Otto says: "There's only one choice for me, skateboarding! That's one thing I can do, and I can do it really well!" (End confessional.)

The Screaming Cats and the Killer Beavers decide to pick who they think is best suited for representing culture. The Cats pick Suzie, Spongebob, and Aang. The Beavers pick Otto Rocket, Norbert (because he promises something special for Treeflower,) and Rocko. At 6 P.M. the culture contest begins, and the Screaming Cats decide to take the odd number turns, performing 1st, 3rd, and 5th. Suzie decides to bring soul to the show, and belts out Aretha Franklin's Respect, earning the Respect of Sniz and Fondue, as it earns her an 8 out of 10. Otto performs his great daredevil tricks. He performs ollies, nosegrinds, heelies, nollies, mctwists, inverted kickflips, and tops it off with a REVERSE 720 backflip! It earns Otto an 8 out of 10! So far, the score is tied. Next up to perform is Spongebob. He blows a bunch of bubbles into the shapes of instruments and they start playing by themselves thanks to his bubble-blowing expertise and he sings to Sandy Cheeks. He sings The Kinks You've Really Got Me Now and not only is Sandy impressed, Sniz and Fondue are impressed to, as they give Spongebob a 9 out of 10! Now it's Norbert's turn to perform, and what he has planned is TRULY amazing! When the curtain unrolls, a giant wooden carving that looks like Treeflower is shown, and Norbert has it written on the statue that it was made by Norbert. And Norbert gets romantic as he sings The Romantics What I Like About You and Treeflower is absolutely moved by it. Sniz and Fondue are moved by it to, as they give Norbert a 9 out of 10! The score is still tied, and its down to the final acts for each team. (Confessional.) Stimpy says: "There are two sylabbles for hot, Ava-tar! He's an amazing guy! I could just kiss him--!--Because he's a good team-mate! Why did I SAY that?!" Reggie says: "I've been finding out that Rocko and I share a lot of interests. There's surfing, snow-boarding, hang-gliding, and ice cream. Plus he's an honest, totally nice guy. I think he's got a GREAT chance of winning!" (End Confessional.)

Aang is ready to begin his well-rehearsed, well-choreographed element bending routine, with musical ambience from his native land to help him focus on his task. But unbeknownst to him, Angelica does something underhanded! She switches OUT Aang's CD, and replaces it with one of her own! Aang begins drawing on fire, but then he hears Aqua's Barbie Girl playing, and everyone starts laughing! And even worse, Aang is unable to concentrate on bending his elements with this foreign song, and getting made fun of isn't helping Aang impress anyone else either. After the humiliating experience is over, Aang failed to make one single impressive bending display, and only managed to score one lousy point. Now all Rocko needs to do is to score two points and the Killer Beavers win! And Rocko holds nothing back! He has a film montage shown of places and people in Australia and how they live, as he sings his own version of Men At Work's Land Down Under song! Reggie absolutely loves Rocko's performance, and Sniz and Fondue love it to, giving Rocko a perfect 10 out of 10, making the Killer Beavers the winners yet again! Now the Screaming Gophers must vote an unlucky camper off. (Confessional.) Stimpy says: "Aang messed up big time. He has GOT to leave. I'm sorry, man." Lil says: "It was totally crazy for Aang to do what he did, its crazier than a bunch of stuff I've done. I could tell you all about it, but to make a long story short, I'm voting Aang off." Sandy says: "Aang, we counted on you. And you let us down. I HAVE to vote you off." Spongebob says: "Aang's performance was SO bad, he makes Squidward's clarinet playing look good! I don't know how else to put it, but Aang's no longer of use to us here." Angelica says: "My plan worked like a charm! With Phoebe's and Patty's help, they managed to convince everyone of Aang's uselessness, which means he will no longer be a threat to me in this game. This is in the bag!" (End confessional.) At the Bonfire, everyone is awaiting Sniz's speech. Sniz says: "First, I'd like to congratulate Suzie and Spongebob. You both gave good performances, and we all respect you for that. But there's someone here, who REALLY blew his chance for immunity. Someone is leaving tonight! When I call your name, come claim a marshmellow. When all the marshmellows are gone, whoever doesn't have a marshmellow must go to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and leave. And you can never come back, EVER! Spongebob, Suzie, Stimpy, Sandy, Phoebe, Patty, Lil, Doug. Campers, this is the Final Marshmallow of the evening! (Dramatic music plays, Aang is frowning while Angelica is smiling.) Angelica. Aang, I honestly thought you'd last longer than this, but apparently, I was wrong. Dock of Shame awaits." And Aang leaves with his head held down low, without even saying a word. (Confessional.) Sandy says: "Somehow, I KNOW Angelica is the reason for Aang's sudden departure! Somehow, I've got to get her to admit it, and when she does, then she is SO the next one to leave this show!" (End Confessional.) Episode Notes: The Killer Beavers win, Aang the Avatar is eliminated, which means that his show of "Avatar the Last Airbender" is the first show to be eliminated from "Total Cartoon Island." /

"AHHH!!!! Wilderness!" Sniz is on the dock and says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Island, the Screaming Cats and Killer Beavers had to decide which 3 team-mates could best represent their own culture as well as a talent that was unique to them. Both teams did pretty well. Aang was ready to climax the show, but his act was anything BUT dramatic! It seemed that Aang was a victim of foul play as Angelica replaced Aang's CD with one of her own, and totally threw Aang's timing completely off, netting Aang only 1 point. And when Rocko's special performance dedicated to Australia got 10 points, it sealed victory for the Killer Beavers once again. The Screaming Cats were disappointed by Aang's lackluster showing and showed him the door off the island, proving to everyonr, looks aren't everything. Now there are only 9 Nickelodeon shows in the running to become the best show in Nickelodeon's history. Which show will win, and who will have to walk off the Dock of Shame tonight? Find out the answers on Total Cartoon Island!"

Patty is rummaging around the cabin looking for something. Sandy notices this and asks: "Patty, what are you doing?" Patty says: "I ran out of fake tanner yesterday! Now I have to actually go outside in the actual sun! I just hope I brought some sun-screen! This is truly dramtic." Sandy sarcastically says: "Yeah, it REALLY is!" Patty says: "You don't know the half of it! Do you know how discolored and wrinkled skin can get from too much sun exposure? Oh, you TOTALLY know about it, you're covered in fur!" Sniz announces over the loudspeakers: "Attention campers, your next challenge will be presented to you at the bonfire circle. Be there in 10 minutes!" / At the bonfire, the campers have arrived. Sniz says: "Campers, are you ready?" Angelica says: "Ready for everyone else to admit defeat so I can win?" Sniz says: "Not in this lifetime, because nobody quits, its in the contracts you signed. I mean, its time to be ready for an old camping standby. While it's definitely comfortable to sleep inside warm, insulated cabins, nothing puts hair on a man's chest and shapes on a woman's body quite like roughing it in the actual wilderness! This is a relatively straight-forward challenge. You will each be given a map and a compass to help you to your campsites. There, your camping supplies to help you make it through the night will be waiting there. All you have to do is set up camp, and make it through 1 night. The first team to have ALL their campers back to Camp Nickelodeon in the morning wins invincibility as well as a cool bonus prize! Oh, and watch out for wild animals. There are a couple of big creatures out there, put a few of our interns in the hospital, so there's absolutely no pressure! I wish you good luck!" And the two teams walk down different paths to their different campsites. Fondue says: "Well, they're gone. What do we do in the meantime?" Sniz says: "I don't know about you, but as for me--(rips his clothes off)--I'm going to practice being a nudist!" Fondue says: "I had to ask!"

The Killer Beavers are making their way to the campsite, until Daggett spots something and pulls Norbert aside. Daggett says: "Norbert! I found something really amazing! Perfectly aged, perfectly rotten 1,000 year old Redwood tree wood!" Norbert says: "That's one of the rarest beaver delicacies there is! Daggett, for once, you have surprised me in a good way." (Confessional.) Daggett and Norbert are both together, and Norbert says: "Daggett isn't just my younger brother, he's my BEST friend to!" Daggett says: "Norbert is a role model, and he always pushs me to be the best beaver I can be!" Norbert says: "We do nearly EVERYTHING together!" Daggett says: "I even remember one time when we were 3, and we both got the Chicken Pox at the same time, it felt so good that we could scratch each others spots!" Norbert says: "The brothers that play together, stay together!" Daggett says: EEEE!!!!" (End Confessional.) The Screaming Cats reach their camp. Doug says: "Well, we made it." Angelica says: "But there isn't a buffet table here!" Phoebe says: "We're not going to get room service out here." Angelica says: "I don't see 1 maid out here!" Spongebob says: "This is the wilderness." Lil says: "Don't knock it until you've tried it, because its fun!" Angelica says: "Except for the bugs that bite you!" Stimpy says: "Look on the bright side, there are plenty of ways to keep yourself entertained. For instance, you can go fishing. I happen to be an EXCELLENT fisher!" Angelica says: "Then YOU catch us fish! I'm staying here!" Stimpy says: "Suit yourself. More fun for me!" And as Stimpy walks off with his fishing pole, Angelica says: "At least this will be a good week for a diet!" / The Killer Beavers make it to their campsite. Treeflower says: "Well, it looks like Sniz and Fondue provided us with everything. Except for food. I don't see food. Where's the food, Otto?" Otto sarcastically says: "Well, this has DEFINITELY been a FUN vacation! But I think I'll go back and wait for the boat!" Reggie says: "Otto, you will do NO such thing! As long as I'M on this Island, YOU'RE staying on this Island! I will NOT let you get voted off before me!" Patrick says: "I guess this means we have to find some food." Jimmy says: "I've read all about the flora and fauna of Lake Superior. I'll find us something safe to eat." And as Jimmy leaves to search, Otto asks: "Wait a minute. Has anyone seen Beaver McHandsome and Beaver McBuck-Toothed Idiot AKA Norbert and Daggett?"

Unbeknownst to the other Killer Beavers, Norbert and Daggett have engorged themselves on rotting Redwood until they couldn't eat anymore. Norbert says: "That was amazing! But where's the rest of the team?" Daggett says: "I don't know! I thought you were keeping an eye on them!" Norbert says: "Daggett! It was YOUR turn to keep an eye on the team!" Daggett says: "My brain's unreliable! You know that!" Norbert says: "This is just like the time when we were 6 and we got lost in the Santa Maria Town Mall in Santa Maria, California!" Daggett says: "They even called security out for us!" Norbert says: "And it took them 5 hours to calm you down because you wouldn't stop crying! I was like, 'he's with his older brother who's right here, namely me! We're fine!'" And although they both nod, they then shout: "Killer Beavers! Where are you?!" / The Screaming Cats have their tent set up, but they are exhausted, both from physical activity and hunger. Angelica says: "I could SO go for a raspberry crepe right now." Lil says: "I think my stomach is EATING my stomach!" Heffer comes on-screen and says: "Who ordered the pepperoni pizza!" Wanda from behind camera says: "It's for the camera-crew over here!" Sandy says: "I can NOT believe it!" Stimpy suddenly comes back on-screen and says: "Fear not, campers! I have returned with fish!" Angelica says: "No way!" Spongebob says: "Way to go, Stimpy!" Lil says: "You absolutely rock, I LOVE fish!" And she bites it, causing her other team-mates to gasp! Lil says: "Whoops! I suppose we ought to cook it first." / Daggett and Norbert are still wandering around. Norbert says: "Admit it Daggett! You don't know WHERE we are!" Daggett says: "Of course I do!...Fine, I don't. But it's SO not my fault! They make every single tree look alike!" Norbert says: "I KNEW I should've known better than to listen to you!" Daggett says: "What?! You don't THINK I'm smart enough to find them on my own?!" Norbert says: "Well you're not exactly the best at directions, and don't say you are, because we're L-O-S-T LOST!"

At the Killer Beaver's campsite, they've got a fire going, and they're setting up the tent. Rocko looks at Reggie and says: "Bonkers! You pitch a tent like a guy!" Reggie, just looks at him and stares. (Confessional.) Rocko sarcastically says: "Bonkers, you pitch a tent like a GUY?!" And slaps himself. (End confessional.) Rocko says: "What I meant to say is, you're not afraid of getting dirty, and you're a brave girl for doing this hard work!" Reggie says: "Gee, thanks." Jimmy comes on-screen and says: "Guys, I found a BIG bunny!" And Jimmy has the extremely tall, large bunny from "The Angry Beavers." Jimmy says: "I'll call him Bunny!" Bunny says: "At least someone cares for me." Otto says: "When do we cook him?" Jimmy says: "We're not cooking him! I'm keeping him! I can use someone back in Retroville to help me on my experiments." Treeflower says: "Well, looks like its nothing but nuts and berries tonight." / Norbert and Daggett are still walking around. Norbert says: "I know how to drive, I'm SO much smarter than you!" Daggett says: "I can drive to!" Norbert says: "You SO don't! Trip to Santa Cruz, California last year ring a bell?!" Daggett says: "I can't believe you're bringing THAT up! I WAS wearing a cool speedo that day!" Norbert says: "You crashed our dad's Porsche into a hot dog vendor cart!" Daggett says: "It was totally in my blind spot! All I know is if it wasn't for me, YOU wouldn't know where to take our vacations!" Norbert says: "Well if it wasn't for ME, you couldn't even FIND your way to our vacations!" Daggett says: "Oh, I KNOW my way to our vacations! You lean on me!" Cosmo and Wanda, disguised as chipmunks, begin to imitate them. Norbert says: "If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even be on this show!" Daggett says: "You're just saying that because I'm funnier than you are!" Norbert gasps: "I KNEW you thought that!" Daggett says: "I'll bet everyone else thinks that to!" (Confessional.) Stimpy says: "No doubt about it, beavers ARE funny! But Norbert is SO much funnier than Daggett, and he's smarter, and more suave to!" Chuckie says: "Norbert is the braver, wiser, and more hilarious of his family!" Treeflower says: "Daggett is so stupid, irrational, and immature. But Norbert is sophisticated, refined, level-headed, and has the best sense of humor. It's a sense of humor Daggett just doesn't have!" Jimmy says: "My new pet Bunny actually MET the 2 brothers previously before, and he says Norbert is better than Daggett in everyway possible. Scientifically speaking, he's theoretically AND accurately correct!" Spongebob says: "Other than me, Norbert is the funniest on this island. I've actually learned some of MY jokes from him! But I've NEVER learned any jokes from Daggett!" Otto says: "I don't know who's the funnier between those two beaver brothers and quite frankly, I couldn't care less." Norbert and Daggett are together again. Daggett says: "Norbert is the funniest beaver I know!" Norbert says: "Well Daggett is the funniest beaver I know!" Daggett says: "You're totally funnier than me!" Norbert says: "You flatter me! But we ARE both really funny! Don't you just love how we can say that about each other and not sound totally conceited?!" Daggett says: "I just LOVE that about us!" (End Confessional)

Norbert says: "That DOES it! When we get back to camp, I'm SO disowning you as a brother!" Daggett says: "Fine!" Norbert says: "Double-fine!" / The Screaming Cats have finished their fish, and are now relaxing under the stars for a spell. Sandy says: "Sometimes its nice to just lay under the stars and just do nothing. Of course, its better if you're someone you're like." Spongebob says: "I know. I totally like you! I hope you know that!" Sandy says: "I do now!" Stimpy says: "Lil, do you really think there are wild animals on this island?" Lil says: "Well if there are, they'd better not mess with me! I've got a black belt in judo!" Angelica says: "And a black belt in lying!" Lil says: "Excuse me! I SO do not lie!" Angelica says: "You always lie about everything!" Lil says: "Well if THAT isn't the kettle calling the tea pot black! If people were measured by their honesty, you'd be no bigger than a speck of dust!" Angelica says: "You're cruising for a bruising if you don't shut your mouth and get to sitting your--!" Stimpy says: "Quiet! I hear something rustling in the bushes!" Spongebob says: "I hear it to! What do you think it is?" Lil says: "It's a challenge! Prepare to eat your words, Angelica! Hi-ya!" And Lil begins to karate-chop on the mysterious attacker! It turns out, to be Barry the Bear! Lil says: "Oops! I didn't know one of The Angry Beavers castmates lived here!" Barry says: "You woke me from my hibernation! That's not cool! Now, I'll have to eat someone! ROAR!" Lil tries every move she can think of on Barry, but it doesn't even phase him! Lil says: "I, guess you're not a big fan of The Matrix then, are you? YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!! AHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" And she scurries up the tree, and Doug pees his pants! Angelica says: "Stimpy! Why don't you show us your wilderness skills and get rid of this beast?!" Stimpy says: "Because I forgot my BAZOOKA at home! Give me a break here!" Sandy says: "Stop bickering! I'll handle this!" And Sandy gets out her karate gear and begins to shout! And Sandy sends Barry packing! Spongebob says: "Sandy, you did it! You really did it!" Sandy says: "I really did, didn't I? But we're wasting precious night. We better get to bed. The sooner we go to sleep, the sooner we can wake up and beat the Killer Beavers." (Confessional.) Suzie says: "I'm glad Sandy's on our side. Lil may be crazy, but it seems that Sandy can protect us no problem." Angelica says: "Sandy is DEFINITELY worthy competition! I LOVE worthy competition!" (End Confessional.)

The Killer Beavers meanwhile, are also getting ready for the night. Reggie says: "Why does it have to get dark out here so early?" Chuckie says: "What's the problem, Reg?" Reggie says: "I need to use the restroom, but I'm too scared to leave the tent." Chuckie says: "Me to!" Reggie decides to go outside. But as soon as she's done, she disturbs a nest of pigeons from "Hey Arnold!" They surround her face, and in the confusion, Reggie trips backwards, and knocks a flaming coal onto the Killer Beaver's tent, completely burning it! Treeflower says: "Nice going, Reggie! Now, we have NO PLACE to SLEEP!" Otto says: "Relax, it's cool." Treeflower says: "IT'S COOL?! Things could not POSSIBLY GET ANY WORSE!!!!" And then a raindrop falls on her head, and it starts to pour down HARD! All Treeflower can say is: "AHHHHHHH!!!!" / In the morning, Norbert and Daggett come out of a cave. Daggett says: "It was lucky for us that you found us this place last night. Otherwise, we would've gotten soaked." Norbert says: "It wasn't anything like our dam, sweet dam. It was the worst night I ever weathered." Daggett says: "I know! It was even worse than the time I dated that one girl at that fancy French restaurant, but I kept feeling like I wanted to throw up because of her gnarly bad breath and--" Daggett is interrupted when he points at Barry the Bear. Barry says: "What are you two doing in my cave?" Norbert nervously says: "We were just now leaving! RUN!!!!" And Norbert and Daggett high-tail it out of there! At Camp Nickelodeon, the Screaming Cats are the first to arrive! Fondue says: "So you're back! I guess that means you win immunity!" Most of the Killer Beavers suddenly arrive there and Treeflower says: "I can't believe this! Someone is going down for making us LOSE this challenge!"

Norbert pulls Daggett behind him and says: "Did we make it, Sniz?!" Daggett says: "Please tell me we won!" Sniz walks out of the cafeteria STILL naked and says: "What's all the hub--(sees the campers)--bub? Look, there's a perfectly rational explanation for this. And, I'll let you know as soon as I think of it! But more importantly, the Screaming Cats get invincibility, as well as their bonus prize, an all expense paid trip to the Sniz Shop! Killer Beavers, it looks like you've got two choices as to who you want to eliminate tonight!" Daggett and Norbert are suddenly nervous as the rest of the team looks at them! Daggett says: "I don't care what happens to me, just please go easy on Norbert! This is all my fault! I got the two of us lost, I'll go!" Norbert says: "Daggett, why are you telling THEM that?!" Daggett says: "Norbert, you know its the truth! You have better skills then me! You have a better chance of winning! So if one of us has to get voted off, it might as well be me!" Norbert says: "Daggett! I am SO touched! (Cries.) I am SO sorry for all the things I said about you back in the forest! I didn't mean any of them!" Daggett says: "I didn't either, Norbie! I'll always love you!" / At the Bonfire, the Killer Beavers are facing judgement. Sniz, STILL naked, says: "Here's the truth. I'm a closet nudist. And I was going to be nude for a full day, with nobody else around but Fondue. But the Screaming Cats came so early, and I didn't expect you to follow so soon. So now, my secret is out. But one of your team will STILL be going home! Now I know you're tired from last night, so I'll just throw the marshmallows to you. Savvy? Treeflower, Otto, Patrick, Chuckie, Jimmy, Rocko, Reggie, don't worry Bunny, I wouldn't forget you! Jimmy's rabbit, Bunny says: "Thank you!" Sniz says: "Norbert, Daggett. I don't like to break you brothers up, but one of you will be continuing the game solo from this point on. This is the final marshmallow of the evening. Norbert!" Norbert cries: "Daggett! Say it isn't so! Why do you HAVE to go?!" Daggett says: "Norbert, you knew it was going to come to this. Don't cry for me. The truth is, I'll never REALLY leave you! I will always be right there, in your heart! Besides, I KNOW you can do this! You're stronger, faster, smarter, and you might even be funnier then me! Plus, you're the nicest beaver brother I know! You MUST stay and win, for both of us!" Norbert sadly nods, and Daggett gets on the boat. Norbert says: "I miss you already!" Daggett says: "I miss you more!" Norbert says: "I'll miss you even more!" Daggett says: "I'll totally miss you more!" Norbert yells: "I'll miss you infinitely more! Bye!" And Daggett sails out of sight. / At the Killer Beavers campsite, Rocko goes to Reggie and says: "Reggie, I'm sorry for that lame line I said yesterday." Reggie says: "Forget about it. The pressure of the challenge was just getting to you, it happens to all of us." Rocko says: "So do you forgive me?" Reggie says: "Not only do I forgive you, I TRUST you! You've got a great personality, you know! Don't let anybody tell you differently!" And she gives Rocko a kiss on the lips! And as she goes into her cabin, Rocko LITERALLY rockets out of his clothes naked and says: "YOWZA! I AM IN LOVE!"

Episode Notes: The Screaming Cats win, Daggett is eliminated. Sandy and Spongebob begin to share feelings with each other, and Reggie Rocket and Rocko begin a love relationship. /

Personal Notes: I'm not really sure just why I felt like I needed to start diverging from “Total Drama Island”. I'm sure that part of it was due to wanting to stretch my creative muscles, but I'm sure part of it was also due to initial critiques (that I have long since forgotten). But I do think that the genesis of my later episodes were starting to show in these early works. Still a far cry from what I've become accustomed to more recently, but it's a start! / Enough said, true believers! 

[4EverGreen]

Well, it took almost ten years longer than it should have, but with this submission, at long last, every single episode of season one of, “Total Cartoon Island”, can now ACTUALLY be found on my own spin-off topic, warts and all. Feel free to read and critique as always! /

"Road to Skull Island!" Sniz is on the Dock and says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Island, the campers all discussed their greatest fears. The next day, they then had to FACE their greatest fears, and there were a few surprises! Helga Patacki and Ren Hoek were the root of 2 campers' phobias, and the team that won would get to re-instate their voted-off camper. Phoebe learned that Ren Hoek wasn't somebody to be afraid of, and he had actually become a better dog in his time off. While the majority of the Screaming Cats were able to face their fears, the Killer Beavers struggled to find anyone who was brave on their team. Even though Chuckie, Otto, Norbert, Bunny, and Treeflower all faced their fears, Reggie and Patrick let the Killer Beavers down this time. In the end, it was Patrick Star who was eliminated out of the show, for not having the courage to hang out with gorillas. Now that Ren Hoek is back in the game, what will the campers have to face off against today? The answer to this question and more unexpected twists are coming up on Total Cartoon Island!"

In the early morning, Angelica wakes up, and decides to see if she can find where Sandy Cheeks has hidden her diary, because Angelica is on a mission! And she DOESN'T want anybody to find out about it, NOT! (Confessional) Angelica says: "Other than myself, Sandy Cheeks is the smartest one here, and her brains could cause me some problems in the future. If I want to stay one step ahead of her, I have to know how SHE thinks and use THAT knowledge to eliminate her ONCE and for ALL!" (End Confessional) However, at that moment, Ren Hoek is taking a morning jog around the cabins, when he stops and sees what Angelica is doing. Ren calls out: "Free money for Angelica!" Angelica rushes out and says: "Where?!" Ren says: "Nowhere that YOU'LL be going, unless you listen to me closely! I don't think it's NICE for you to be stealing stuff that doesn't belong to you!" Angelica gasps: "How did YOU know I was going to steal Sandy Cheeks' diary and use it to make her life miserable?!" Ren smiles and says: "Because you just TOLD me, eediot!" Angelica says: "D'oh! I HATE it when someone does that!" Ren says: "However, IF you cooperate with me, Sandy doesn't HAVE to know about this!" Angelica says: "What are you proposing?" Ren says: "All you have to do is to promise that you will NEVER use your alliance to vote me off again! And don't even think about trying to convince the others that they need to vote me off again, because at any given time, I could tell them about your treachery, and then you'll be doomed!" Angelica says: "You are one, shrewd dog! But it seems as though I've got my hands tied! Fine! I won't vote you off again! Happy?" Ren says: "As happy as Stimpy on Powdered Toast Man Day." (Confessional) Ren says: "Stimpy was the one who told me that Angelica was the one who orchestrated my vote-off the last time, and I wasn't going to give her the chance to do it again. I just needed for her to make one mistake and for me to see it, and now I have my bargaining chip. Now the only way I can POSSIBLY lose the game this time is if there comes a time where I just fail a challenge, but that's not going to happen anytime soon!" (End Confessional)

Just then, Sniz says: "Attention campers! Come down by the docks in 10 minutes to learn about your next challenge! It will REALLY interest you!" / Most of the campers arrive by the shore of the island where Sniz has canoes lined up. Sniz says: "We've got a unique challenge today! This time, the challenge is 3-fold. First, each team will be paddling their canoes up-stream to a neighboring island. The island is named: Skull Island! Legends say that this island is supposed to be CURSED!" Lil says: "Wow! A cursed island! That sounds so cool! Wouldn't it be funny if after we spent time on Skull Island, we actually got cursed?" Ren says: "Not really, no." Sniz says: "Once you get to Skull Island, you will have to portage your canoes across the island." Rocko says: "We'll have to pour WHAT?!" Ren says: "PORTAGE! It means carrying the canoes across the island." Sniz says: "Correct-a-mundo! Once you teams get to the other side, you will have to build a fire which will be judged by me. Whoever builds the best fire and gets back first wins invincibility!" Ren says: "Gee! Another mentally stimulating challenge!" Patty says: "I KNOW!" Sniz says: "And watch out for wild animals, they put a couple of our interns into the hospital in pre-production. And if you take anything OFF the island, you will get a terrible CURSE that falls on you! Now, to the canoes!" And most of the campers head down to the canoes. Phoebe suddenly rushes out of the restroom and says: "What did I miss?!" Sniz says: "Canoes?" And Phoebe rushes off, unaware of what she TRULY missed! / Lil says: "This is going to be a GREAT challenge! You know why? I'm like 1/47th Paiute Native American, so the tribe could like totally come to claim me at anytime!" Stimpy says: "Well to tell you the truth, I'd prefer it if you could stay here. You have certain campers who like you, and they're interested in you!" Lil says: "Wow! Really? I'd sure like to meet at least one of them!" Stimpy says: "You're in luck. He's standing right here!" Lil says: "Oh my gosh! Are you saying that you like me? That you REALLY like me, LIKE me!" Stimpy says: "Not only that, I think I love you! I've never known a girl who was funnier than you, and you're interested in so many things that I'm interested in!" Lil says: "Would you like to paddle with me?" Stimpy says: "Oh yes! I'd like that VERY much! You've just made this red cat VERY happy!" (Confessional) Lil says: "How cool is this?! I've finally found a guy who actually wants to date me! Who would've thought it would be a feline?! Not that I care! I believe love transcends all boundaries, and it doesn't matter if someone's white, Asian, Mexican, African-American, or even if its a different species! What matters is if someone loves you and you love them back, that's all that matters! And I think that, I love Stimpy to!" Ren says: "Stimpy has done what I thought was almost impossible. He fell in love with a girl. He fell in love once and almost completely! I mean...I'm really happy for Stimpy, I really am. But where does that leave me? What do I have now? I said that he was only a friend. But I wonder. Was he something more to me?" (End Confessional)

The campers begin to get into their canoes. Doug says: "Hey Sandy! Want to paddle with me?" Sandy says: "Not in this lifetime. I've got someone else in mind." But Patty says: "Sporthank, you have GOT to go paddling with Priscilla and me!" Phoebe says: "It's Spongebob, and I'm Phoebe!" Patty says: "That's what I said Petunia, me and Posie want to paddle with Springbot Squirepin." Phoebe says: "Why do I bother?" Spongebob says: "Fine. That's okay, I guess." Sandy says: "Fine. But I do the steering!" Doug says: "Just the way I like it!" (Confessional) Doug says: "Oh yes! Sandy's about to learn what the Dougster's about! Da na na na na na!" Sandy says: "Honestly, I think Doug Funny is like a younger brother to me. (Cuts to Doug doing air guitar.) An extremely ANNOYING little brother." (End Confessional) The boat teams are formed. Jimmy/Bunny/Chuckie, Norbert/Treeflower/Otto, Rocko/Reggie, Ren/Angelica/Suzie, Sandy/Doug, Spongebob/Patty/ Phoebe, & Stimpy/Lil. Fondue says: "On your marks, get set, (fires a gun/BOOM!) go!" And a dead duck falls down. Sniz says: "You're going to get a LOT of angry E-mails on THAT one!" / On the canoes, Rocko is romancing Reggie with stories about Austrailia, Norbert is telling Treeflower about his trips to California and elsewhere around the western United States, Stimpy and Lil talk about themselves in the 3rd person talking about what movies they really like. In the meantime, Doug keeps trying to tell Sandy about the romantic things he can do for her, but she won't even give Doug the time of day! Doug finally says: "I think I know why you keep shooting me down. It's because of Spongebob, isn't it? (Sandy looks questioningly) That's fine, I'm cool with that. I was sensing a whole, you're into Spongebob vibe. I can put in a good word for you, if you want to be closer." Sandy says: "You'd really do that? Well, if you can get us into the same canoe on the way back, I'll definitely owe you one." Doug says: "Funny you should say that. You see, I'm in a bit of a bind myself. I kind of made a bet with Otto that if I got one of your bra's, he'd have to do the dishes for the rest of the game! (Sandy hits Doug with an oar) Right! That's asking for too much!" Then suddenly, they come upon Skull Island. The Screaming Cats make their way into the murky island, only to run across Giant Killer Pigeons, and Mutant Catdogs! (Confessional) Sniz says: "The Domesticus Felinius Canis Lupus more commonly known as the Catdog, is a local resident of Skull Island, and a remnant of the Pleistoscene Era of the Stone Age. And get this, they're MEAT-Eaters!"

(End confessional) The Screaming Cats manage to get away from the Catdogs, when Doug pulls out a loaf of bread, from his PANTS! When the Killer Beavers come to a fork in the trail, Rocko says to take the right fork, and Reggie agrees, so they go down the right fork. The Screaming Cats decide to take the left fork! They continue to run down the trail, until Spongebob steps in something funny! Spongebob says: "I don't want to alarm anybody, but I think I stepped in quicksand!" (Confessional) Spongebob says: "How am I supposed to know what quicksand looks like?! It looks just like sand!" Fondue says: "Oh man! That is SO funny! I set that quicksand trap up, but I didn't think anybody would actually FALL for it! Man, that is SO priceless!" (End confessional) Patty says: "Hold on Spongebob, I'll save you!" Spongebob says: "No, wait!" And Patty obliviously steps into the quicksand and Patty says: "Oh my gosh, I'm sinking to! I SO didn't see that coming!" Ren says under his breath: "Her head is about 8 feet cube in circumference and you're telling me there's not 1 inch of BRAIN in that entire head?!" Angelica says: "Now you know what I live with!" Doug says: "I'll save you!" He grabs a vine and says: "Geronimo!" Suzie says: "Doug! Watch out for that--(SLAM!)--tree." And Doug crashes into the tree, but the vine falls down so that Patty can grab it, and Spongebob who's hanging onto her leg, use the vine to get to solid ground. Patty says: "Doug, you totally saved my life! I am SO in love with you! Where did you learn to do that?!" Doug says: "Thanks Patty! I actually LOVE you to, but I didn't think that you thought the same way about me, but now I know that you do. And I actually watch a lot of movies!" Ren says: "I'm glad to know that YOU 2 have hooked up, but we've got to run! There's no telling how much ground the other team has covered by now!" / Just as things are looking up for the Killer Beavers, tragedy strikes! Chuckie falls down in pain! Chuckie says: "OW! Man down, man down!" Reggie says: "What happened?!" Chuckie says: "I don't know! I've got SUCH pain! You'll have to go on without me!" Rocko says: "Nothing doing! I'm Australian and my mother taught me that an Aussie NEVER leaves a man OR a woman behind!" (Confessional) Rocko says: "Chuckie's injury looked SO bad! I've seen surfers get eaten by sharks, or getting sucked out in rip tides, or getting mangled up on rocks, but that was MAJOR! And he just kept going! He had a lot of heart!" Chuckie says: "I didn't know if I was going to make it! The situation was touch and go! I don't think I would've lasted if Rocko wasn't there to lend a marsupial hand." (End Confessional) Chuckie's injury is proven to be a SPRAINED ankle with a tiny splinter in his leg!

The Killer Beavers get to the other side of the Island, only to find that the Screaming Cats are already there! Phoebe is searching for wood, and finds a wooden tiki carving of Arnold made by Helga. (Flashback) Sniz says: "If you take anything off the island, you will get a terrible CURSE!" / Phoebe says: "What did I miss?!" Sniz says: "Canoes." (End flashback) Phoebe, unaware of Sniz's warning, decides to take the tiki carving as her own. Although, the Screaming Cats have more wood, the Killer Beavers manage to get THEIR fire going 1st, because Otto brought a lighter. Sniz, in a helicopter above the island being piloted by Fondue, decides that as host, he needs to comment. So Sniz says: "No rules against carrying a lighter. Edge, Beavers." On the Island, the Screaming Cats FINALLY start a fire. Doug says: "Spongebob, can I talk to you for a minute?" Spongebob says: "Sure." Doug says: "I was trying to score a date with Sandy, and I struck out, a lot. The thing of it is, she's not into me. She's into you." Spongebob says: "Are you telling me the truth?" Doug says: "Sure. Besides, I'm in love with Patty now, and I'd have nothing to gain by lying to you." Spongebob says: "All right. How should I go about getting a date with her?" Doug says: "I'll tell you how I'd play it later. Right now, we've got a challenge to win!" The Killer Beavers are desperate to make their fire better than the Screaming Beavers, so Treeflower says that they need more wood. Desperate, Jimmy quickly wons and grabs the paddles AND the canoes, and throws them on the fire! Otto says: "NO! You burned our ride home! Nice going, genius!" Lil says: "Screaming Cats, I have just the thing that will put us over the edge! It's a little fire-starter that I made from 5 different kinds of wood, 4 types of flint, and 3 types of highly combustible rock! Stand back, this is going to be big!" And she adds the stuff on the fire and--BOOM!!!! A HUGE explosion nearly covers all the island, singes all of the Screaming Cats, causing Sniz to say: "Wow! And with that, the Screaming Cats move WAY ahead of the Killer Beavers! What a great play!" Stimpy says: "Wow! That was a cool trick! It's even cooler than all those inventions I make back home! One of them was the Happy Helmet, it once made Ren really happy. Other things were socks that never fell down, and food detector's, to tell you where food is edible! You made a great fire Lil! Stimpy likes!" Lil says: "It's just one of my many talents that will help this team out!"

And she gives Stimpy a kiss! Stimpy says: "Dear Abby, I am in LOVE!!!!" The Screaming Cats get on their canoes and head back to camp, the only change being that Spongebob is sailing with Sandy, and Doug is sailing with Patty and Phoebe. Suzie says to the Killer Beavers: "Farewell, though I know you won't!" Otto says: "We're marooned! And it's all your fault, unless you think of a way to get us out of this situation NOW!" Jimmy says: "I suppose that if we hopped on Bunny's back, he could swim us back. He's big enough." Bunny says: "That's a pretty hefty order, but I want to win as much as you do!" Norbert says: "And since me and Treeflower are Beavers, we're naturally aquatic so we can just swim back to!" Rocko says: "It's not over until it's over! Let's give it our all!" So the Killer Beavers desperately try to catch up to the Screaming Cats, but they are too far ahead. The Screaming Cats make it to the final challenge, meaning the Killer Beavers have lost, AGAIN! Otto says: "Jimmy, you JERK, you COST us the GAME! You are DEAD!" Jimmy says: "I got us back to the island, didn't I? Why don't you vote off Whiny McChicken pants?! He made all of YOU carry him around while he moaned and complained about NOTHING except a sprained ankle and a tiny SLIVER!" Reggie said: "WHAT?! You made us carry you around and cost us valuable time in trying to help us build a fire!" Chuckie says: "I just wanted a little attention! Is that so wrong?! Come on, can't you take a joke?!" (Confessional) Jimmy said: "I could not let myself get voted off at this point in the game. I HAD to do something to keep myself alive. And if that means getting rid of a fellow genius, then its better that its Chuckie rather than me! At least I don't have irrational fears!" Rocko says: "Chuckie might have made more noise than was neccessary out of a small injury. But I'm not ashamed that we helped him get back to the island. I'd do it the exact same way if I had the chance, because I believe that those who do good karma, will have good karma given to them." (End Confessional)

The Killer Beavers are once again facing judgement. Sniz says: "Back again? You must really like it here." Otto says: "Absolutely not, we HATE it! Or at least, I hate it!" Sniz says: "Irregardless, one of you has spent their last night on this island. When I call your name, come get a marshmallow. The camper that doesn't get a marshmallow must go to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and leave. And you can never come back, EVER! Rocko, Norbert, Treeflower, Bunny, Reggie, Otto. Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the evening. (Dramatic music plays, Jimmy is putting mousse on his hair uninterested, and Chuckie is looking at his injury.) Jimmy. Chuckie, your fellow campers thought that you were too much of a scaredy-cat. Hit the Dock of Shame, buddy." And Chuckie walks away dejected. / Later that night, Otto says: "No way Doug, you didn't! Doug says: "Yes I did! I got my hands on a bra! That means dish duty for you, the rest of the summer!" Otto says: "You mean it's from--" Doug says: "A gentleman never kisses and tells." / In her cabin, Phoebe says: "This wooden carving helped us win the challenge. It's SO lucky! I'm NEVER getting rid of it!" And she falls asleep, unaware that an ominous thunder and lightning storm is brewing, signaling the carving's unluckiness. / Episode Notes: The Screaming Cats win, Chuckie Finster is eliminated. Doug and Patty officially begin a relationship, Stimpy and Lil officially start dating! /

"Express Yourself!" Sniz is on the dock and says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Island, the two teams raced against each other to the deadly, cursed, Skull Island, where they faced dangerous animals, quicksand pits, and Patty's utter stupidity. Doug tried to hit on Sandy Cheeks about 65 times, but after he saved Patty's life and fell in love with Patty, he made up for his earlier actions by getting Sandy closer together with the man she really wanted to be with, namely Spongebob Squarepants. Good strategy, Doug. There were winners, and there were losers, namely the Killer Beavers. Jimmy delayed his team by destroying their initial ride back to camp, but he managed to save his own butt when he revealed Chuckie Finster had delayed their team even more by whining and moaning over a tiny splinter and a sprained ankle, so Chuckie was voted off the island! BIG mistake to make, Chuckie. However, one camper named Phoebe might have made an even BIGGER mistake when she did something she shouldn't have, and took a weird tiki carving of Arnold from Hey Arnold! off the island, and it now threatens to curse the Screaming Cats. Will Phoebe live to regret her decision? Will the Killer Beavers be able to get rid of their pathetic losing streak? And can my teeth possibly look any whiter?! The answers to these questions and more coming up on Total Cartoon Island!"

Early in the morning, Angelica Pickles is the first to wake up again, determined that today, she is going to have the BEST day she could possibly have, even if there IS supposed to be a challenge today. Angelica says: "The only thing better than waking up early is to wake up to the perfect day, which I KNOW Phoebe and Patty will provide me!" Phoebe says: "What do you want us to do for you today?" Angelica says: "First, warm up the shower for me. I will NOT take a cold shower in a cold camp in cold Lake Superior in Michigan!" Phoebe says: "Can and will do Angelica." And Phoebe waits for Angelica to give her a compliment, and instead Angelica says: "When I say to do something, I mean NOW! MOVE IT!!!!" (Confessional) Phoebe says: "After spending 18 days on this island with Angelica, I have SO gotten tired of being in an alliance with her. She promised me and Patty safety and security, and yet WE wind up with the short end of the stick! I thought that the reason for making an alliance would be that everything would be equal between us, and yet she keeps telling us to do everything for HER, and expect nothing FROM her to us in return! I don't know how much more of these conditions I can take." Angelica says: "I think Phoebe and Patty are just jealous of me. But who wouldn't be? I mean, I AM the SMARTEST and PRETTIEST girl on this island, and I certainly don't get that way by resting on my laurels. As a young child, I learned a long time ago that there was only one way to get ahead of this world. I had to take what I could, WHEN I could, and this challenge is no different! Make no mistake, the $150,000 WILL be mine, no questions asked! I didn't sign up for this show to lose, which means I WILL win, by ANY means neccessary!" (End Confessional.) At the showers, there is a line of campers waiting to use the restroom. Suzie asks: "What is going on here?!" Patty says: "Angelica is taking her shower, and she needs her private time." Suzie says: "Well how long is QUEENIE going to be?! Some of us got urgent business!" Patty says: "She could BE a while." Ren says: "Just do what I do when there's no restroom to use, do it like the lumberjacks." Sandy says: "Sounds like a good idea to me." Angelica says: "Could someone come in and lotion my back? It's peeling!" Phoebe looks around, but everyone else has already left. So Phoebe sighs and decides to go in and do her thankless, hard job of trying to pretty up Angelica in the morning.

In the cafeteria, Sniz orders the campers to sit down for something special. Sniz says: "I've a got a GOOD surprise for you today!" Norbert says: "Are you bringing back my brother Daggett to camp so we can be together again?!" Sniz says: "Even better! Today's challenge is all about expressing yourself!" Angelica scoffs: "Expressing myself?! Why don't we just do 7 minutes of heaven in a tacky basement closet?!" Stimpy says: "I'm up for that action--no, wait! Ren, was that a rhetorical question?" Ren says: "Of COURSE it was a rhetorical question, but even more shocking is how you even KNOW what a rhetorical question is!" Stimpy says: "Lil taught it to me! She's the best! She's been teaching me EVERYTHING she knows! I'm learning a lot of stuff from her that I never learned from you, which is awesome! Of course, YOU'RE still smart, so no offense Ren." Ren sarcastically says: "None taken." (Confessional) Ren says: "I promised myself I was over Stimpy. If he's in love with a girl, fine! He can HAVE his relationship! But he's nuts falling in love with that insane female! What does she have that I don't have?! I mean, besides curvy shapes and a beautiful hair-do! I've worked hard to improve my attitude here, so I see no reason why I don't deserve a good mate. And quite frankly, it's gotten to the point where almost ANYONE looks good to me now! Sigh, I should've gone with Stimpy when I had the chance." (End Confessional.) Sniz says: "Here's how this challenge will work. Each camper must pick one way they can express themselves the best. It could be through song, it can be through dance, you can even do the judging and win points. Anything goes as long as it's legal. That means YOU, Otto!" Otto says: "What?! I've never done anything illegal!" Sniz continues, ignoring him: "At 6 tonight, be prepared to express yourself!" (Confessional) Stimpy says: "This will be a great challenge for me! I can showcase my new inventions, and display my genius! It's my chance to reveal that Stimpson J. Cat is in fact, a genuine genius, and a lovable guy besides!"

Rocko says: "There are so many different ways to express myself. It's hard to know what to do. But I think when it comes right down to it, I know of at least ONE way to express myself that no other camper can do on this island!" Lil says: "I have a SPECIAL surprise planned for expressing MYSELF tonight! It's going to be GREAT!" Norbert says: "My strategy is to team up with Treeflower and do a duet. We will SO rock this challenge!" Patty says: "There are so many ways I could express myself. My face, my hair, my beauty, my FABULOUS skills, and my bi-languicalness. I speak fluent English AND American!" Reggie says: "Did I ever mention that I could stand on my hands for 20 minutes? Because I totally can!" Spongebob says: "Grilling is an art form, and I always treat it as such. Today I will show everyone the finer side to making hamburgers with time, love, and tenderness." Jimmy says: "It's time for me to blind them all with science! I've got a WICKED invisibility potion that I've been DYING to try! It will win my team invincibility for sure!" Bunny says: "I can run and hop really fast. Is that a talent?" Doug says: "I'm pretty confidant about this challenge. I may not look it, but I have the makings of a great rock star in me. I just needed to find the right song to see, and I'll be a shoe in to win this challenge!" Ren says: "I'm certainly not going to humiliate myself. I'll be a judge, because there's no WAY the Killer Beavers can impress ME with a talent!" Angelica says: "The rest of MY team can come up with all the strategies and plans they want, but it won't do THEM any good, because I have this talent in the bag! All I have to do is make sure that everyone else performs WORSE than me, then either I win immunity for my team, or I get someone else voted off. Either way, I have a place at the bonfire tonight!" (End Confessional.) That night, the judges are picked. Bunny, Phoebe, and Ren Hoek. They will oversee all the other campers expressing themselves. Norbert and Treeflower go up first, singing a duet to each other. Their rendition of Sonny and Cher's "I Got You Babe." At the end of their performance, Bunny says: "A true masterpiece. That NEVER goes out of fashion, and you are SO totally in love with each other, and it shows. 9 out of 10." Phoebe says: "Treeflower, you're very pretty. And Norbert, you're really suave and handsome. Your looks completely compliment your talents. 10 out of 10." Ren says: "Quite frankly, that song was mind-numbing, apalling, and boring. I fell asleep after the first stanza. It was about as much fun as a week of impacted molars. 1 out of 10."

Jimmy goes up next, and wows everyone by vanishing, then making stuff appear to float in air, and Jimmy enjoys himself for 2 minutes, until the Invisibility Potion wears off and everyone sees Jimmy naked! Bunny says: "Bold choice. Unexpected, daring, and completely natural, just like me! 9 out of 10." Phoebe says: "I've got to wash my eyes! 2 out of 10!" Ren says: "I don't even WANT to say anything about this! 2 out of 10." Spogebob goes up next, wowing everyone with his cooking skills and enjoying himself to! Bunny says: "I'm a vegetarian, so out of common courtesy, I consider it immoral for me to eat meat. But you DID put your heart into it, so 5 out of 10." Phoebe says: "I prefer chicken myself, but the sandwiches are marvelous! 9 out of 10!" Ren says: "You cook burgers better than I can! And I've cooked some really mean burgers! 9 out of 10." Spongebob is now the leader. Reggie decides to go up next, but she doesn't look too hot. (Confessional) Angelica says: "While Reggie wasn't looking, I spooned some Ipecac into her chips so that when she goes up to her perform, the stuff she put into her stomach will come right back up, spelling certain DOOM for her!" (End confessional.) Sure enough, while Reggie's doing her hand-standing, her chips come out the NASTY way, and she spews throw-up onto Treeflower, Otto, Suzie, AND Sandy Cheeks! Finally, she slips on some of the liquid and falls off the stage! Sniz says: "Clean-up on aisles 3, 4, 5, 6, AND 7. We've got to hose this place down so please be patient for a moment." (A fake commercial is shown of Cosmo running a hot iron over his hand. Confessional) Reggie says: "I'm so ashamed! I can't BELIEVE that happened! I deserve to go home! Stop it, that's pathetic! Just show some confidence Reggie!" (Cries, end confessional) Sniz says: "Welcome back! Okay, in a surprising twist, all 3 judges gave Reggie's Exorcist act a 2 out of 10. But that's not enough for the Killer Beavers as the Screaming Cats are still ahead!" Stimpy is ready to give his science demonstration. Stimpy says: "Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to be wowed by the mind of the most prestigious feline this side of Hollywood, California. For my turn, I've decided to display my new invention, the animal taming device or ATD for short. With my machine, I can turn a savage, wild animal into a docile, tame, completely harmless companion. I will demonstrate on Barry the Bear, who I've safely got in my--(looks at an empty cage with the bars sawed off)--cage? Where's the bear?" (A bear tears down the curtains) Stimpy says: "Great pyramids of Cheops! The bear is loose! Stand back! I've got a machine and I'm NOT afraid to use it!" But the bear ignores Stimpy and instead jumps into the audience and terrorizes Phoebe, Bunny, Treeflower, Jimmy, Reggie, Patty, Suzie, Fondue, Otto, even Angelica gets freaked out by the rogue creature. Stimpy says: "You might be 500 pounds of savagery but I've got 8 pounds of brain in my 150 pound body, so prepare to get tamed!"

The bear suddenly stops and says with a feminine voice: "Would you guys chill already?" Sniz says: "Say what?" And the bear--reveals herself to have been Lil wearing a bear costume! Stimpy says: "Great Zeus! I did NOT see that coming!" Angelica says: "What are you Lil? Some kind of freak?" Lil says: "I thought it would be funny, ha ha!" (Confessional) Lil says: "Ok, ok. That was SO funny! The campers were all panicking like 'Oh no! A bear is on the loose!' They were like 'We're all going to die!' And I was like 'Roar, I'm going to eat you!' As if I could ACTUALLY do that! There's no way, okay!" (End confessional) Bunny said: "That, was just scary! But Stimpy demonstrated bravery in the face of fake danger so, 6 out of 10." Phoebe says: "I feel-I feel-I feel-as though I'm going to need some therapy after this game is over. 2 out of 10." Ren says: "I give Stimpy a 10 out of 10, just for being Stimpy." Finally, it's Doug's turn to go up next, and he's chosen a DOOZY of a song to rock out to, or so HE thinks! (Confessional) Angelica says: "I figured that if Patty got too close to Doug, she could potentially leave MY alliance and join up with HIM! I had to do something that would give him the boot, so I decided to play dirty, and play the humiliation card! It's so easy to pull one over on the rest of the campers that it's almost not even fun. Of course the key word is, almost!" (End confessional) Doug plays the CD and music begins playing, and everyone is SURPRISED by what they were hearing, and NOT in the good way either! Doug is singing Rick Astley's "Never Going to Give You Up," and nearly all of the campers are writhing in agony over getting Rick-rolled and want it to stop! Surprisingly, it does stop when Doug suddenly notices the REAL Barry the Bear on stage with him! Doug says: "Hey Barry! Do you like this song?" And Barry suddenly exclaims: "ROAR!!!!" (Confessional) Barry the Bear says: "Who would intentionally go on stage to sing THAT song?! What happened to the good old days when there were bands like Chic, Blondie, Donna Summer and New Kids On the Block? Sigh, they just don't make them like THAT any more!" Doug, now in a full body cast, says: "Okay, that was totally random. But it's not so bad, besides having nearly every bone broken by that music hating bear. It's not over for me yet."

(End confessional.) Bunny says: "That song doesn't do justice for ANYONE!" Phoebe says: "I can't believe that Doug reminded us of how truly BAD the 1980's could be!" Ren says: "There's a word for that performance that I can't say, because there are children watching." The three judges say: "Zero out of Ten!" Patty says: "I actually liked it." And even though it's totally unneccessary at this point, Rocko goes up to rub more salt in the Screaming Cats wound. And Rocko expresses himself in poem, AND on stage, as he completely DISROBES, getting naked on-stage to prove his love and loyalty for Reggie, by getting over his irrational fear of appearing naked in public, despite having done this numerous times, and Rocko says that from now on, he will NEVER be nervous to get naked again! Bunny says: "I've NEVER been afraid to be naked in public! 10 out of 10!" Phoebe says: "That was an incredulous performance! 10 out of 10!" Ren says: "I admit it, you really did good, Rocko. 10 out of 10." Sniz says: "And with that, the Killer Beavers win! Screaming Cats, that was a REALLY tough break, you had a strong showing, but it seems as bad luck plagued you in the end. You're going to be sending someone home!" (Confessional) Angelica says: "That scheming, dirty, low-life TRAITOR! And if you think I'm talking about myself, you're wrong! Phoebe is SO out of my ALLIANCE! She deliberately betrayed me! And for what?! Just to get back at me from keeping her away from useless, stupid, Patrick?! Well, I have NO use for traitors in MY alliance! Phoebe is going down!" Suzie says: "Who am I voting for? Well, Angelica is a royal jerk and a pain in my neck. But I've got to say, Doug." Stimpy says: "I've got to vote off Doug. With all your injuries, you're not so useful in challenges anymore." Patty says: "I've got real respect for Penny for standing up against Angelica. That was SO brave. But she is SO dead now!" (End Confessional) The Screaming Beavers are facing judgement for the first time in a while. Sniz says: "Welcome back. While some of you performed quite admirably, others had a performance that some people would call a crime against nature, which is why one of you is leaving tonight. I've got 10 campers at the bonfire, but only 9 marshmallows. The camper--" Sandy says: "Who doesn't receive a marshmallow must immediately go to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers and leave. Can we get on with it already?" Sniz says: "Fine, spoil the moment.

Come up when I call your name to claim your marshmallow. Ren Hoek, Stimpy, Lil, Spongebob, Sandy, Patty, Suzie." Angelica looks at Phoebe and says: "SLASH! Going down!" Sniz says: "Phoebe!" Angelica is shocked! Sniz says: "This IS the final marshmallow of the evening. (Doug is nervous in his full body cast, while Angelica is petrified, completely afraid for the first time in her life!) Angelica." Angelica grabs her marshmallow and says: "You are ALL lucky, okay?! VERY lucky!" Sniz says: "Doug, it's time for you to leave!" Doug, muffled by his bandages says: "I can't even walk!" Phoebe says: "I'll escort Doug down there!" Suzie says: "See you, Doug." Phoebe says: "I feel so empowered. I voted against Angelica and I didn't follow her orders! It makes me feel SO alive!" Doug protests loudly, but is still muffled by his bandages. Phoebe says: "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I've got a lucky charm. (She shows him the Arnold Tiki carving) I got it when we visited Skull Island, isn't it great?!" Doug tries to warn her about it, but to no avail. Phoebe says: "We're all going to miss you, Doug." And she gets Doug onto the Boat of Losers, unaware of what Doug was trying to tell her. (Confessional) Patty says: "Oh, I'll never forget our time together Duncan--I mean Doug! (Blows kiss) Bye!" Episode Notes: The Killer Beavers win the challenge, Doug is mauled by Barry the Bear and is eliminated from being too injured to continue competeing. Phoebe quits Angelica's alliance as Angelica simultaneously expels Phoebe from her alliance. /

"The Heat Is On!" In the Killer Beavers cabin, the boys are starting to wake up from their night's slumber. Otto starts doing push-ups on the floor, until he smells something that SHOULDN'T belong! Otto says: "Jimmy, what's WRONG with you?! Why did you leave your dirty laundry on the floor?!" Jimmy says: "It's one of my scientific experiments. You're just jealous of my superior intellect, and I can easily run circles around you in complicated subjects in High School. Now if you excuse me, I need to take a shower." And after Jimmy leaves, Otto says: "Can you believe that?! He thinks he's better than ME, better than you! Looks like its me, and you two, Bunny and Norbert. I think its time we taught Jimmy a lesson!" Norbert says: "Leave everything to me! Being an older twin brother, I'm an EXPERT at showing tough love! I will handle the matter with Jimmy personally!" Sniz announces over the loudspeakers: "Campers, its time for you to gather at the cafeteria. After eating breakfast, you will all learn of today's challenge!" / After breakfast, Sniz says: "It is my great honor and priviledge to announce to you teams that you have a GREAT difficulty facing you today. The reason why your breakfast was so good today is because Fondue is feeling a little under the weather today, so I ordered some pre-made food in for you. But what I want to know is, can you cook any better than Fondue? And so, here's the challenge you're faced with. Today you'll be competing against each other to create a 3 course meal which will be eaten by Fondue and myself. Whichever team cooks the best meal wins invincibility as well as a nice bonus prize. Your materials are in the truck being driven by Catdog. You can take whichever cooking items you need and as much as you need in order to help out your cause in today's challenge. Once you get out there, pick a head chef and a cooking theme, because things are going to heat up tonight!" The Killer Beavers are the first to check out the food in the truck. Rocko says: "I'm thinking we can do a cool, Italian Vegetarian theme." Bunny says: "You're DEFINITELY head chef!" Angelica says: "Head chef, called it! Try not to mess up THIS time, Phoebe!" Suzie says: "Just ignore Angelica, we'll do a fine job!" (Confessional.) Angelica says: "I HAD to take the leadership role! I'm not letting my team mess up another challenge for me, and everyone else on the team is COMPLETELY useless!" (End Confessional.)

Spongebob's carrying a bag of oranges towards the cafeteria. But Spongebob can't see where he is going, and he walks into a tree and causes a bee's nest to fall down! And the bees start to sting Spongebob Squarepants like crazy! Meanwhile Norbert, Otto, and Bunny begin Operation Teach Jimmy a Lesson into effect. They take away most of his clothes and put them into a bag for safe keeping. The Screaming Cats arrive into the kitchen. Angelica says: "Team, we're going to do a Tropical Theme. Phoebe, Spongebob, you're going to make pineapple slices with sticks in them. Stimpy, Ren and Lil, you're cooking up the roast beef and spare ribs. Suzie, Sandy, and Patty, you're cooking up the upside down Mango Flambe with orange frosting." Spongebob, covered with bee stings says: "Where do you want the oranges?" Angelica says: "Anywhere!" And Spongebob tries to throw the oranges onto a table, but he misses his aim and accidentally knocks Suzie out. Spongebob says: "Oops! I always WAS voted Most Clumsy in Boating School!" (Confessional) Angelica says: "Everything is FINE! Other than Spongebob's klutziness and Suzie being knocked out which means she's out of today's competition, everything is GREAT! This challenge is totally OURS! Oy!" (End Confessional) Sandy says: "Patty, I guess this means we've got to cook the flambe ourselves." Patty says: "Yeah. Do you know how to make a flamer thingie?" Sandy says: "Not a clue, Patty." The Killer Beavers are also getting their act together. Rocko says: "We've got a vegetarian Italian theme to create. Who knows how to create a dish for hungry customers?" Otto says: "I've worked some summers in the Surf Shack creating vegetarian meals, and Bunny knows how to make a mean salad, so I'll whip up some Penne Pasta to go along with Bunny's green salad." Jimmy says: "Reggie and I can make the vegetarian ravioli. I'm an expert when it comes to cutting cheese." And Treeflower chuckles. Jimmy asks: "What's so funny?" Treeflower says: "Nothing!" Rocko says: "And since I need to help out with the main course, that leaves Norbert and Treeflower to make the Canoli whipped cream desert." Treeflower says: "Do I HAVE to cook with Norbert?" Reggie says: "It's for the good of the team." Treeflower says: "Oh, all right." (Confessional) Treeflower says: "Norbert IS handsome, but he has a tendency to be overzealous sometimes. I think it stems from his rivalry with younger twin brother Daggett. And while I can understand sibling rivalry, his attitude about being an older brother who knows better has no place in a challenge such as this. It's going to be hard enough as it is just trying to beat the Screaming Cats without acting up and causing unrest in our own team." (End confessional.) Norbert says: "Where do you want the water Rock-oops!"

And Norbert 'accidentally' spills water onto Jimmy's pants! Jimmy says: "Nice going, Beaver McHandsome!" Otto says: "Ooh, tough break! Looks like you gotta go change." And as Jimmy leaves, Otto laughs as he says: "He's making this too easy, am I right Reggie?" Reggie says: "You guys are SO immature!" Rocko says: "The sheila's right, mates. It ain't right what you doing to Jimmy." Otto says: "But it feels SO good, and that's all that matters to me." In the cabin, Jimmy is looking for some new underwear and he finds a small, green pair that he's been saving. Jimmy says: "It looks like its your time to shine, comrade." In the kitchen, Phoebe is beginning to cut up some pineapple. Angelica says: "Phoebe, you're cutting it up all wrong! The slices need to be more even! You're too sloppy! Go switch places with Stimpy!" Stimpy says: "What are you talking about Angelica? Her slices look fine to me." Angelica says: "Excuse me! I DIDN'T get to be Head Chef because of poor presentation skills!" Stimpy says: "No, you got to be head chef because you CALLED it!" Angelica says: "Are you going to be a team player?!" Stimpy says: "Oh, I'm a team player, I just happen to be allergic to pineapple!" Angelica yells: "DON'T ARGUE WITH ME STIMPY, JUST DO IT! (Whispers) Lazy, good-for-nothing slob!" Stimpy mutters: "Of all the nonsense. Having to cut up pineapple for that stingy, bossy, rude, no--Oh great! Now I've got orange splotches on me! Angelica, what do you reccommend I do about that?!" Angelica says: "I reccomend you wait until AFTER we've won to scratch yourself!" Jimmy comes in wearing nothing but his small underwear and says: "All right! Who took all my pants?!" Norbert and Treeflower are making the dessert and Treeflower says: "Don't squeeze the whipped cream too hard. All of the cannoli's need to have the exact same amount of whipped cream." Norbert says: "Will you relax? It's FINE! Appearance isn't everything when it comes to eating you know." Treeflower says: "I just don't want us to lose this challenge." Norbert says: "Even IF we lost this challenge, I wouldn't let them vote us off! You're too important to me! Am I important to you?" Treeflower blushes and says: "Well, YOU'RE important to me now!" Norbert says: "That's right, loosen up a bit. Let's take this game one challenge at a time."

(Confessional) Treeflower says: "I don't know what it is about Norbert. He just knows how to make a girl relax. Maybe its what he says or the way he says things. Either way, I think I'm getting a crush on him." Norbert says: "Treeflower is both smart AND attractive! She's also a pretty good athlete! She complements me perfectly!" (End confessional.) Patty says: "Angelica, we need some help." Angelica says: "How is the dessert coming?" Patty says: "It's NOT coming! We used all the flambe starter, but it won't flambe!" Angelica asks: "Nothing happened when you lit it?" Angelica says: "Oh!" (Confessional) Angelica says: "Patty, I swear, it's like talking to a kumquat!" (End Confessional) Angelica says: "Pay attention ladies. Here's how you flambe. Step 1, add the flambe starter which, you did manage. Step 2 of 2, you add a flame to flambe." And she ignites a lighter, leans in to touch the light to the dessert and--BOOM! The flambe produces an explosion which chars Angelica's face! Angelica looks in a mirror and screams: "AHHH! My eyebrows are gone! Spongebob!" Spongebob asks: "Is it time for lunch yet?" Angelica yells: "NO! Get me my makeup bag in the cabin!" Spongebob says: "But the bees are outside! I'll get stung!" Angelica screams: "NOW!" And Spongebob runs out of there. Stimpy says: "Excuse me! I NEED a restroom break!" Angelica says: "Well, evidently I need new EYEBROWS, BUT WE DON'T ALWAYS GET EVERYTHING WE WANT, DO WE?!" (Confessional) Stimpy says: "I was letting myself get some rashes from my allergy to pineapples when it suddenly hit me. I'm putting myself in pain for ANGELICA?! I don't even LIKE HER! Some- one has to teach that girl a little thing called respect!" (End confessional) Jimmy is pouring pasta onto the ravioli when Bunny asks: "Jimmy, isn't it unsanitary to cook in something THAT small?!" Jimmy says: "So give me back my pants already!" Norbert says: "Jimmy's right Bunny. Tell you what Jimmy. There's a clean pair of underwear and shorts waiting for you in your cabin." Jimmy says: "That's more like it!" So Jimmy goes into the cabin, and finds the clothes. But in the cafeteria, the other Killer Beaver boys are laughing and pointing to a bottle of hot sauce, some of which has been poured into Jimmy's clothes. And when he puts them on, Jimmy feels a burning sensation and yells: "MY BISCUITS ARE BURNING!" And he runs yelling and screaming into the lake, where he finally feels relief. Jimmy says: "Idiots!"

Spongebob is sneaking outside the cabin, careful not to run into any bees, but Spongebob TRIPS over some bottles and falls onto the cabin, knocking yet ANOTHER bee's nest onto him as he says: "Oh, COME ON!" Jimmy comes back into the cafeteria, wearing some pajamas with horses on them. Norbert says: "Nice outfit, genius boy!" Jimmy says: "This is all I've got left. So if you sicko's want to see me buck-naked, hit me with your best shot." Otto says: "Just stop leaving your laundry around and we'll leave you alone!" Jimmy says: "I already said that it was for an experiment!" Otto says: "Oh well. I tried." Spongebob runs back into the cafeteria, all woozy and swollen from all the bee stings, holding Angelica's make-up bag. Angelica says: "So you got it?" Spongebob mutters: "Barnacles, tartar sauce, fish paste." And collapses as the bag flies out of his hands. It flies into Stimpy's hands. Angelica says: "Give me that bag!" Stimpy throws it to Phoebe. Angelica says: "Phoebe, hand it over!" Phoebe says: "No!" And Phoebe throws it to Patty. Angelica says: "Patty, you BETTER give me that bag!" Angelica looks into the freezer being held open by Ren Hoek and says: "Oops!" And 'accidentally' throws the bag into the freezer, which Angelica runs into! She grabs the bag, but gets LOCKED into the freezer! Patty asks: "Do you think Angelica is going to be REALLY mad about this?" And stone-sized dents start appearing in the door as Angelica screams: "LET ME RIGHT NOW BEFORE I DESTROY YOU!!!!" Stimpy says: "She'll be fine. She just needs to CHILL! / At last, it's time to give Sniz and Fondue their food. And Rocko and Phoebe are setting up the table, as Phoebe sets down the Arnold Tiki carving for ambience. Ren says: "Me and Stimpy are going in to serve the appetizers Lil. You keep watch over the main course." And after they leave, Lil says: "We sure did a GOOD job cooking this food tonight! It's REALLY luscious! I'd better test it to make sure it's warm enough!" And she tries a spare rib! Lil says: "Well that IS superb! Maybe just ONE more piece!" / Sniz and Fondue are eating their appetizers. Sniz says: "Screaming Cats, the pineapple slice are devine and get a 9, and Killer Beavers, your penne pasta passed the testa with a 6. Time for the main course." Ren goes in to get the Roast Beef, only to find the kitchen a REAL mess because of Lil who went primal with the main course, and Ren is NOT happy!

Ren shouts: "PLEASE TELL ME YOU DID NOT EAT THAT ENTIRE PLATE OF RIBS?!" And Ren angrily walks in with the mostly devoured dish with Lil walking behind her. Fondue says: "Uh, this dish looks like it's already been eaten." Lil says: "Not ALL of it! I saved a couple of little pieces for you, right over there, yeah." Sniz says: "You know, I've had worse. So a 2 for you. Time for the Killer Beavers main dish!" Rocko says: "You're going to love this one mate. Me and Reggie made it with LOVE!" Sniz says: "I'm already liking that! This tastes really great! It gets a 9! Time for dessert! Bring out the cannolis!" Norbert puts his hand on Treeflower, who suddenly hugs him in nervousness. Sniz says: "Pretty good whipped cream. I give it a 6. So that gives the Killer Beavers 21 points. Screaming Cats, you need all 10 points from your dessert just to tie it up with the other team." Sandy says: "Don't worry, our flambe is a winner!" But as soon as Sniz and Fondue stick their forks into the dish, they disintergrate. Sandy says: "That wasn't supposed to happen." Sniz spits it out and says: "It tastes like ash! How much flambe starter did you put on there?!" Fondue eats it, and suddenly starts choking! Lil says: "Hold on Fondue, I'll save you!" And Lil gives Fondue the heimlich manuever and saves his life! Sniz says: "Thanks for the save Lil. What kind of flambe was that anyways?" Patty says: "It was Angelica's recipe. Oh wait. ANGELICA! She's still in the freezer! I have to let her out!" And Sniz gives the Screaming Cats a look. Stimpy says: "What? She was making everybody trip!" Ren says: "Holy smokes! She looks bad!" Angelica, now has badly drawn eyebrows above her eyes, and is completely cold and shivering. Angelica says: "You guys are SO dead! Is it over?" Sniz says: "Yes it is. The Killer Beavers win 21-12, and it's not just because Fondue almost died. The ribs stank to." Angelica says: "That's just GREAT! WHY DID WE LOSE AGAIN, PEOPLE?! And what's with the tiki carving?! I didn't authorize the tiki carving!" Phoebe says: "I brought it back as a souvenir, from the other island." Fondue says: "You don't mean Skull Island? The CURSED Skull Island?! The deadliest island in all of Lake Superior?! The one Sniz said to specifically NOT take anything off of or you would be cursed?!" Ren says: "No wonder we lost these last 2 challenges." Phoebe says: "I didn't know! I'll put it back!" And she rushes outside with the carving. Sniz says: "Killer Beavers, as promised, your 7 members will have your bonus prize. Tonight, you'll be eating 5 star buffet foods under the stars tonight. While the Screaming Cats, your soon to be 8 members will face another night at the bonfire tonight." / The Screaming Cats are discussing who they should send home.

Suzie says: "From what I understand, I'd say Angelica has to go! She's caused our team nothing but trouble!" Stimpy says: "She has, but Phoebe was the one who cursed our team. She lost us two challenges. We really can't afford to lose another one. She HAS to go this time." Spongebob says: "You've got a point there." Sandy says: "Curse, if you're still active, please hit Angelica next, and hit her hard upside the head!" / In her cabin, Angelica is putting better eyebrows on her face and says: "Patty, I COULD convince the rest of the team to vote you off. You were a REAL traitor and detriment to our team today! But, you DID let me out of the freezer, so I'll give you another chance. Vote with me tonight, and I'll overlook this little incident." Patty says: "Ok, I'll do it." Angelica says: "See? All better. Oh, and if you EVER team up with Ren and Stimpy against me again, I'll cut off all your hair while you're sleeping!" And Patty looks at her hair nervously. (Confessional.) Angelica says: "Today's vote was really hard but ONLY because there were so MANY annoying campers to pick from!" Patty laughs and says: "I can't BELIEVE we locked Angelica in the freezer! That was SO funny! She's not going to hear this, right?" Angelica says: "Suzie was completely useless, Stimpy wouldn't stop complaining, Ren has been a royal pain in my butt, and Lil messed EVERYTHING up for us!" Patty says: "Angelica looked SO bad when she came out of the freezer. I'd kind of like to vote Angelica off. But--" Angelica says: "I vote for Phoebe." Lil burps: "Phoebe." (End Confessional) The Screaming Cats are once again facing judgement. Sniz says: "You have all cast your votes. There are 9 campers here tonight, and I've got 8 marshmellows. These marshmellows represent the campers who will continue to be campers here. When I call your name, come claim a marshmellow. Whoever doesn't get a marshmellow must pack up their bags, head for the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and leave for Loserville. And you can never come back, EVER! Stimpy, Lil, Ren, Suzie, Sandy, Spongebob, Patty. Campers, this is the final marshmellow of the evening. (Dramatic music plays. Phoebe is shaking with nervousness as she has her fingers crossed, while Angelica just glares at her angrily.) Angelica. Phoebe, time to pack your bags, your sailing out of here."

Phoebe grabs her stuff and hears Angelica says: "You heard him. Boat of Losers that way. That was REALLY stupid of you to take that Tiki carving off the Island." And Phoebe leaves the Island. Sniz says: "The rest of you are safe for tonight. And you might want to burn some sage to get rid of the bad luck vibes lingering around here." Suzie says: "Well Fondue help us out with that?" Sniz says: "Nope, so good luck with that!" That night, Jimmy is sleeping in his bed, and his bed is carried outside. The next morning, he wakes up COMPLETELY naked to the girls of Camp Nickelodeon, and quickly puts a pillow over his sensitive areas! Norbert says: "So Jimmy, learned your lesson?" Jimmy says: "Yes, YES! Okay? YES!" Norbert says: "We need more proof then that." Jimmy says: "I'll never leave my underwear laying around the cabin again! I swear!" Otto says: "What the hey? I believe him. Here's your bag Jimmy. Nice doing business with you." And Jimmy quickly runs inside. / Episode Notes: The Killer Beavers win, Phoebe is eliminated in this episode. /

Personal Notes: The reason why I avoided posting these early episodes on my own topic for so long, is because; quite frankly, I was embarrassed by them! Back then, I honestly thought all I had to do to be original, was to simply take what was done on "Total Drama Island", and simply edit it to be focused around the Nickelodeon Nicktoons characters instead. Of course, this was BEFORE everyone else started doing more or less the same thing, only with whatever intellectual properties they wanted to do it with, which forced me to be more creative, in order to stand out from the pack. But I wanted everyone to see the rough beginnings that I had with my fan-made series, so they can better appreciate the more creative episodes that I come up with in the future! / That's all I have to say at this time! Enough said, true believers!

[4EverGreen]

We're heading into the final home stretch! It's time to get the show on the road for a new episode of “Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” / Sniz is in a hotel lobby, and he says: “Last time on Total Cartoon Global Cruise, it was down to the Final Four! Suzie, Patrick, Skipper, and Reggie, were all vying to wind up on top, in order to be able to be the rightful winner, of $44.44 million in cold hard cash! The competition had led them to Chicago, Illinois, where one final contestant would face an elimination, out of the game. Suzie Carmichael had no end of trouble. Her partner, Otto Rocket, took off on his own, forcing Suzie to skip an important part of the challenge, and losing valuable time, when Otto had to carry her up all the way up the Willis Tower, on 103 stories of stairs! OUCH! As if that wasn't bad enough, Suzie's safety harness suddenly broke, forcing Otto Rocket to quickly descend all 103 stories, to try to save her. He succeeded in saving her, at the cost of Suzie, accidentally breaking every bone in his body! Now THAT'S tough love! Wracked with guilt over having caused the incapacitation of her boyfriend, Suzie decided to drop out of the competition, in order to take care of her beloved. Leaving with $41 million, for all her troubles. Now, with 55 contestants eliminated, we are finally down to the Final Three! Patrick Star, Skipper the Penguin, and Reggie Rocket! Their travels and challenges, have seen them compete in Japan, the tundra of Alaska, San Francisco, Death Valley, New York City, the Amazon rainforest, Paris, Mexico, the Grand Canyon, San Marino, Greenland, India, Mount Everest, Area 51, Australia, China, the Congo, Vietnam, Canada, Norway, Egypt, Pakistan, Slovakia, and more! They have beaten other contestants like Jimmy Neutron, Kitty Katswell, Haggis McHaggis, Lil Deville, Angelica Pickles, Treeflower Fields-Beaver, Judy Funny, Sway-Sway, Harvey Beaks, Super Chum, Invader Zim, Keswick, Kaput, Oonski the Great, Otto Rocket, Buhdeuce, Spongebob, Larry, Master Tigress, Daggett and Norbert, Gonard, Master Po, Dog, Stimpy, Wally, Dudley, Zarbon, Bulma, Captain Retro, Chameleon, and others! They've beaten every other challenge thrown at them so far! Now all that's left is the race that will get them to the final challenge, and the only competition left, is with each other! Three finalists will enter, but only one can claim the grand prize, on this penultimate episode, of Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” /

Instead of the normal show open, a montage of all the destinations and challenges that the Final Three have been through, are played throughout the entire season, is played, while a popular 1979 song plays over the montage. / Genre: Progressive Rock. Sub-genre: Supertramp. Song: “Take the Long Way Home”. Sung by: Supertramp! / Roger Hodgson sings: “So you think you're a Romeo, playing a part in a picture-show. Take the long way home. Take the long way home. Cause you're the joke of the neighborhood. Why should you care if you're feeling good? Take the long way home. Take the long way home. But there are times that you feel you're part of the scenery. All the greenery is comin' down, boy! And then your wife seems to think you're part of the furniture. Oh, it's peculiar, she used to be so nice! When lonely days turn to lonely nights, you take a trip to the city lights! And take the long way home. Take the long way home. You never see what you want to see. Forever playing to the gallery! You take the long way home. Take the long way home. And when you're up on the stage, it's so unbelievable! Oh unforgettable, how they adore you! But then your wife seems to think you're losing your sanity! Oh, calamity, is there no way out?! Oh, yeah! (Instrumental solo) Ooh, take it, take it out! Take it, take it out! Oh, yeah! Does it feel that your life's become a catastrophe? Oh, it has to be, for you to grow, boy! When you look through the years and see what you could have been. Oh, what you might have been, if you'd had more time! So, when the day comes to settle down, who's to blame if you're not around? You took the long way home. You took the long way home. Took the long way home. You took the long way home. You took the long way home, so long. You took the long way home. You took the long way home, uh, yeah! You took the long way home. Long way home. Long way home. Long way home. Long way home. Long way home. Long way home.” / And the epic song ends! /

“Life Is a Highway, Route 66, That is!” / The episode opens up properly, and Sniz is waiting outside of a fancy hotel, for the other contestants to come out! Sniz says: “Welcome to what is surely to be one of the most intense match-ups of the entire season! We've got a three-way battle heading into this final stretch, but there can only BE, one winner! The other contestants are getting their things all ready, to prepare for today's challenge! But before they get out here, we asked them all earlier, to make one FINAL airplane Confessional, in regards to what THEY think their chances are winning the grand prize, on the final episode of this season! Roll the D.V.D. Clips!” (Confessional)

Patrick and Pearl are together. Patrick says: “Well, I'm here! SOMEHOW, despite all the odds against me, through sheer luck and stamina, I made it to the Final Three! Now that I'm here, I guess there's only one thing I can do, and actually try to WIN this whole thing! I have to PROVE to everyone in Bikini Bottom, that a sea star CAN do something great and productive in his life! And right now, the greatest thing I can think of, is trying to win this entire game!” Pearl says: “And maybe after that, you can defeat the Little Monkey Man and save the EIGHTH Dimension!” Patrick says: “One difficult task at a time, Pearl. One difficult task at a time!” / Skipper and Marlene are together. Skipper says: “I can't BELIEVE some fools actually believed that just because I got voted off TWICE this season, that I honestly WOULDN'T make it to the Final Three this season! But I'm HERE, suckers! So WHO'S laughing now?!” Marlene sighs and says: “Skipper, maybe we should just quit and just walk away with third place, right now!” Skipper asks: “Why?” Marlene says: “Well, this whole thing about YOU being eliminated twice, and then being inexplicably brought back twice; it feels like we've CHEATED our way to get to this point!” Skipper asks: “What are you saying?!” Marlene says: “I'm SAYING that it feels like we took AWAY a chance for someone MORE deserving, someone who actually WORKED this entire season to try to GET to the Final Three, and you were just GIVEN a chance when, if EVERYONE is being COMPLETELY honest with themselves, we don't REALLY deserve to BE here!” Skipper asks: “Why do you THINK that?!” Marlene says: “I'm just saying that I feel GUILTY about being here, and the only reason why we're BOTH here, RIGHT now, is simply to PANDER to a demographic, that we should have NEVER pandered to!” Skipper groans, and says: “So NOW you want to try to develop a conscience, after leading on Captain Retro for an entire season, temporarily breaking up with ME for acting crazy, and NOT whaling on Bulma when you had a chance?! How CONVENIENT! If you had CARED about the truth from the START, I NEVER would've been eliminated in the FIRST place!” Marlene sighs and says: “I know that if Captain Retro were here, he would say that he could only protect us from Bulma's plan. He couldn't protect US from our own mistakes!” Skipper asks: “How is MY being here a mistake?!” Marlene says: “THINK about it, Skipper! This show has already had TWO...well, THREE back-to-back male winners in the past two seasons! This show is over-due for a FEMALE winner! And with Suzie gone now. Well...” Than Skipper FINALLY has his epiphany, and he says: “Holy SHI--!!” (Camera Cuts)

Reggie and Rocko are together. Reggie says: “I had a rough time getting my proper footing, initially. I was on a losing team, Bulma put an emotional micro-chip on me, I cast a throw-away vote Suzie's way because I couldn't vote off Angelica, and I had a tough time trying to shine with Captain Retro trying to draw Bulma's attention. But despite all of that, I made it all the way here!” Rocko asks: “Did you ever doubt yourself?” Reggie says: “Well, the thought that I COULD have been voted off at any point was always a thought in my mind! But now that there are NO more Elimination Ceremonies scheduled; there are only two options left to us now; either go big and WIN this whole thing, or go home! And I have NO intention of going home now!” (End Confessional) The three contestants and their partners walk out of their rooms, and Skipper STILL has a shocked look all over his face! Sniz asks: “What's the matter with Skipper?” Marlene sarcastically says: “Oh, his life is over!”

Skipper screams: “My LIFE is OVER!!!! A whole SEASON'S work of effort for NOTHING!!!!” General Barracuda says: “You have no one to BLAME for this predicament except yourself! If you had JUST accepted your initial loss from the START, you wouldn't have set yourself up to face disappointment in the Final Three!” Patrick says: “I'm not expecting disappointment in the Final Three.” General Barracuda says: “I wasn't talking to you!” Marlene says: “The odds are AGAINST Skipper, it's true! But that doesn't mean that he can't POSSIBLY win, does it?!” General Barracuda sighs, and says: “All right. Learn your lesson the HARD way!” Reggie asks: “So, why did you ask us to make one final Airplane Confessional? Don't we NEED the airplane to go to our NEXT destination?” Sniz says: “Not this time, because we are in the HOME stretch! There's only ONE final challenge left, and it's ALL the way, in Hollywood, California! But, there's a catch!” Pearl says: “Somehow, I figured there WOULD be one!” Sniz says: “If you want to participate in the Final Three Challenge, you have to MAKE it to the Final Three Challenge, and you need to make it there BEFORE this episode is over!” Rocko asks: “So, how are we going to make it there without the aid of the airplane?” Sniz says: “Simple, my marsupial friend! Have any of you heard of a historic highway, called Route 66?” Marlene raises her hand, and she excitedly says: “Ooh, I have! Will our getting to Hollywood, California have ANYTHING to do with Route 66?” Sniz says: “Getting to Hollywood, California will have EVERYTHING to do with Route 66! But just to make sure that EVERYONE is on the same page, we will give you the run-down, just like the Rolling Stones!” /

Genre: Rock and roll. Sub-genre: The Rolling Stones. Song: “Route 66”. Sung by: Sniz, General Barracuda, Marlene, Skipper, Patrick, Pearl, Reggie, and Rocko! / Sniz: “Well, if you ever plan to motor west; just take my way, that's the highway, that's the best! Get your kicks on Route 66!” Marlene: “Well, it winds from Chicago to L.A.! More than 2,000 miles all the way! Get your kicks on Route 66!” General Barracuda: “Well, it goes from St. Louis, down to Missouri! Oklahoma city, looks oh so pretty! You'll see Amarillo, and Gallup, New Mexico! Flagstaff, Arizona!” Patrick: “Don't forget Winona!” Reggie: “Kingman, Barstow, San Bernardino!” Sniz: “Would you get hip to this kindly tip? And go take that California trip! Get your kicks on Route 66!” Sniz says: “Sing-along time!” (Green words appear on the screen, and the whole cast sings along) Everyone: “Well it goes from St. Louis, down to Missouri! Oklahoma city, looks oh, so pretty! You'll see Amarillo, and Gallup, New Mexico! Flagstaff, Arizona; don't forget Winona, Kingman, Barstow, San Bernardino!” Rocko: “Would you get hip to this kindly tip? And go take that California trip! Get your kicks on Route 66.” / And the epic song ends! /

Sniz says: “So, to clarify matters, here is what you must ALL do today, if you want to get to the Final Three challenge! You will start here, from the eastern end of Historic Route U.S. 66, at Lake Shore Drive. From here, you must follow the historic corridor as much as you possibly can, making sure to stop at designated stops in order to pick up your colored flags! Reggie and Rocko will be picking up the green flags, Skipper and Marlene will be picking up the blue flags, and Patrick and Pearl will be picking up the purple flags. You will need to present ALL your flags once you get to the designated finish, the Hollywood Bowl, located at 2301 Highland Avenue, north of Hollywood Boulevard, and south of U.S. Route 101! Only IF you arrive with all of your flags, will you be able to qualify to participate in the final challenge! And NO, Patrick, none of you may find out what it is, until AFTER you've completed THIS challenge!” Patrick says: “Wow! It's like he's PSYCHIC or something!” Sniz says: “Now, it's time to find out the cities you must stop at, in order to collect your flags. Now, with the addition of myself and Fondue, along with the 55 contestants you've beaten, that makes for a total of 57 flags altogether, which we have decided to divide evenly among all three of you! That way, you ALL get to do the same amount of work! That means, every single one of you, will have to collect 19 flags in total! Now, onto where your flags are located within the historic corridor of Historic Route U.S. 66!”

Wanda poofs up a map of the United States, for Sniz to point to! Sniz says: “The cities you must stop in, are in Springfield, Illinois; St. Louis, Missouri; Rolla, Missouri; Joplin, Missouri; Galena, Kansas; Miami, Oklahoma; Catoosa, Oklahoma; Oklahoma City, Oklahoma; Amarillo, Texas; Adrian, Texas; Glen Rio, Texas; Tucumcari, New Mexico; Albuquerque, New Mexico; Gallup, New Mexico; Holbrook, Arizona; Winslow, Arizona; Flagstaff, Arizona; Barstow, California, and San Bernadino, California. Once you have all the flags, you will all race to get on-stage at the Hollywood Bowl! If all goes well, maybe ALL of you, will get to participate in the Final Challenge!” Skipper says: “Um, you still haven't told us just HOW we're supposed to GET to all these cities, OR Hollywood, California!” Sniz says: “That's because today, you are going to IMPROVISE! It's a FREE for all, in getting to the Final Three challenge! Use any method you can think of to get to the Final Three challenge! Cars, trains, hot-air balloons, anything goes, as long as it's legal! THAT means YOU, Skipper!” And Skipper just growls angrily! Sniz says: “And don't forget to stop at the cities I mentioned to pick up those flags! You will need those flags, to verify that you did INDEED, stop at the cities you needed to visit, as well as gain entrance into the Final Three Challenge! This challenge is for ANYONE to win or lose! Hopefully, nobody loses it today! Fondue and I will go on ahead, and see you at the Hollywood Bowl! General Barracuda will record and track your progress from the ground, and if you need to record a Confessional, just signal the General, and he will use the Confessional Camera, to record your private, intimate moments! Don't forget what you're playing for! The contestant that wins first place, can get up to $44.44 million in cold, hard cash! Let's make this challenge exciting people! We'll see all of you later, hopefully! Good luck!” And Sniz and Fondue board the Emerald, Green, “Total Cartoon Global Cruise” plane, and it jets off in the direction in Hollywood, California, until it vanishes out of sight! Pearl asks: “So, NOW what do we do?!” General Barracuda says: “You're going to DO, what Sniz WANTS you to do! He wants you to IMPROVISE! Wouldn't be as challenging, otherwise! Just think, how are YOU, going to get to the Final Three Challenge?!” Rocko looks at Reggie, and he says: “I've got that red car that Po has! He gave it to me as a loaner, and I can drive us to our destinations!” Reggie says: “I'll take it!” And they run into the hotel parking lot to get into Rocko's borrowed car! Marlene looks at Skipper, and she says: “Despite what anyone thinks, it's not over until it's over! Think of a way to get the two of us to Hollywood, California!” Skipper says: “I've swiped a bunch of hot-air tanks from the plane before it took off! We can make a make-shift hot-air balloon, and get to Hollywood, California!” Marlene says: “I can't argue with that! I wouldn't know how to!”

And Skipper and Marlene rush off to get their necessary supplies! Pearl says: “Patrick! The other contestants are getting AHEAD of us! Think of SOMETHING!!!!” Patrick says: “Pearl! You KNOW that I'm not EXACTLY the best contestant when it comes to THINKING!” Pearl says: “There's no better time to START than now! There are only TWO whole other contestants still LEFT in the game! It CAN'T just be ENTIRELY dumb luck that you got to the Final Three!” Than Patrick ACTUALLY thinks of something, and he asks: “Pearl; do you HAVE your cell phone on you, and does it HAVE internet access on it?!” Pearl says: “Yes, and yes. Why do you ask?!” Patrick says: “One important reason! Can you access the train schedule, that will take us on a transit route THROUGH the cities we need to go through, that will get us to Hollywood, California?!” Pearl says: “Just a minute and...YES!!!!” Patrick says: “Good! Book us on the quickest, preferably CHEAPEST route you can find, that departs IMMEDIATELY! There's not a moment to lose!” Pearl says: “I've found one that leaves in fifteen minutes; but there's one catch; it's only going to have a fifteen minute lay-over in EACH of the cities that we need to stop in! That means, to be on the SAFE side, we're only going to have fourteen minutes to FIND our flag, and get back on the train! There's no telling how long we'll have to wait or how much we'll need to pay, to get on another train!” Patrick says: “It's a desperate plan, but by working together, I KNOW we can do it! To the train station!”

And Patrick and Pearl rush off for the nearest train station and the next departing train to their destinations, and General Barracuda chuckles, and he says: “Well, folks! Looks like we officially have a three-way race underway! Rocko and Reggie are the FIRST to take the lead, heading off in their red car to Springfield, Missouri! Skipper and Marlene are close behind, flying in a make-shift hot-air balloon, while Patrick and Pearl are forced to spend precious minutes getting their boarding passes, and getting all their stuff onto the train! HEY! I have to actually FOLLOW them! WANDA!!!!” Wanda says: “No need to yell, I'm STILL right here! What do you need?!” General Barracuda says: “The fastest motorcycle you can poof up, with unlimited gas, and make if FAST!!!!” Wanda mockingly says: “So it's OLD Wanda, to the RESCUE again!” General Barracuda says: “Wanda, hurry UP!!!!” Wanda mockingly says: “So it's 'Hurry up, Wanda?! I wish for THIS, Wanda, I wish for THAT, Wanda', and what thanks do I GET, for my services, might I ask you?!” General Barracuda says: “I make my honor as a General on you! Help me with this wish, and I will PERSONALLY treat you to an all-expenses paid trip, to your most FAVORITE place on Earth; Chocolate City, Utah!” Wanda ecstatically says: “Chocolate City, Utah! All right, you got yourself a deal!” And Wanda waves her wand, and poofs up a COOL-looking, green motorcycle, and helmet for General Barracuda to wear! General Barracuda says: “Most appreciated! I'll see you at the finish line!” And he races AFTER the racing contestants! In the plane, which is already ABOVE Tulsa, Oklahoma, Sniz says: “The contestants are on their way, with General Barracuda in hot pursuit! Who will win, who will lose? Who will make themselves potentially look like complete fools and jerks?! Those questions, and others, may be answered, when we come back, on Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” (Commercial Break) The contestants and their partners, all using their different methods of transportation, are making their way to Springfield, Illinois. Rocko says: “This is probably one of the best ways to get to the Final Three challenge, Reggie! I do all the driving, and all you need to do is just relax, and save your energy for catching the flags!” Reggie says: “Believe me, I really appreciate you doing this for me! It makes me feel really confidant about my own abilities!” Rocko says: “Where do you think our flags will be located within these cities that we have to visit?” Reggie says: “Probably somewhere significant within each city that we visit. Should be a prominent spot that's relatively well-known within each city. That's USUALLY how Sniz has operated SO far this season! Just make sure to keep an eye on the gas, and I'll take care of the rest! I've got my eyes on the prize!”

(Camera Confessional) As Rocko is driving, General Barracuda's camera is focused on Reggie! Reggie says: “At this point, I can't afford to think about the possibility of winning now! That way of thinking, is what ALWAYS gets Otto into trouble! I can only afford to think about one flag at a time, and I'll work my way up from there!” General Barracuda says: “Sounds like you've got your game-plan all figured out!” Reggie says: “Well, it's better to have one and not need it, than to need it and not have it!” General Barracuda says: “Truer words have never been spoken!” (End Confessional) In the hot-air balloon, Marlene and Skipper are looking out for any tell-tale signs of where they are! Skipper says: “I thought the FREEWAYS were supposed to be blue, like they look on the map! All I see is a bunch of GRAY! Lots and LOTS of gray!” Marlene says: “Blue, is just the color they use to indicate that it IS a freeway! Don't CONCENTRATE on the symbolic colors of the map! Try focusing on the very REAL, physical colors of Rocko's car! It's red, so use that!” Skipper says: “I spot it, right down below us!” Marlene says: “Our plan to get you to the Final Challenge COULDN'T be simpler! We let Rocko and Reggie guide us to our destinations, keeping them in our sights, and once we have the final flag, we'll zoom on ahead of them, and get to the Final Flag first! We'll have the $44.44 million in no time!” Skipper says: “Except that we STILL don't have any idea, of what the Final challenge is going to be all about! Besides, we technically STILL haven't done our mandatory song yet, so we'll have to do that first, before we do anything!”

(Beep! Beep! Ba-Beep! Beep! Beep!) In the train, Pearl says: “It figures. No sooner do we get all boarded and relaxed, does the show tune start!” Patrick says: “I think it's fun! I mean, it's one of the FEW things this season that I've actually been ABLE to do with consistency! At least it's something I'm good at!” Over the communicators, Sniz says: “That's very true! And for this song, I want you to sing all about how life is a highway! To be specific, the Tom Cochrane version!” Rocko says: “Reggie, it's time for us to rock this song!” Reggie says: “I'm with you there! Let's make it happen!” /

Genre: Rock and roll. Sub-genre: Heartland rock. Song: “Life Is a Highway”. Sung by: Rocko, Reggie, Skipper, Marlene, Patrick, Pearl, and General Barracuda! / Rocko: “Life's like a road that you travel on, when there's one day here, and the next day, gone. Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand. Sometimes you turn your back to the wind.” Reggie: “There's a world outside every darkened door, where blues won't haunt you anymore. Where the brave are free and lovers soar, come ride with me to the distant shore.” Skipper: “We won't hesitate, to break down the garden gate. There's not much time left today.” Marlene: “Life is a highway! I want to ride it all night long! If you're going my way, I want to drive it all night long!” Patrick: “Through all these cities and all these towns, it's in my blood and it's all around! I love you now, like I loved you then! This is the road and these are the hands!” Pearl: “From San Francisco, to those Paris nights!” Rocko: “The Snake River, to El Paso's lights! Knock me down, get back up again! You're in my blood I'm not a lonely man!” General Barracuda: “There's no load I can't hold! The road's so rough, and this I know! I'll be there when the light comes in, just tell them we're survivors!” Everyone: “Life is a highway! I want to ride it all night long! If you're going my way, I want to drive it all night long! Life is a highway! I want to ride it all night long! If you're going my way, I want to drive it all night long!” Skipper: “There was a distance between you and I.” Marlene: “A misunderstanding once, but now, we look it in the eye! Oh!” (Harmonica and guitar solo) Patrick: “There's no load I can't hold! The road's so rough, and this I know! I'll be there when the light comes in, just tell them we're survivors!” Rocko: “Life is a highway! I want to ride it all night long!” Marlene: “Hey!” Reggie: “If you're going my way, I want to drive it all night long!” Pearl: “Life is a highway! I want to ride it all night long!” Patrick: “If you're going my way, I want to drive it all night long!” Skipper: “Life is a highway! I want to ride it all night long! If you're going my way, I want to drive it all night long!” (Harmonica and guitar solo until the epic song ends when all the contestants reach Springfield, Illinois!) / Rocko and Reggie pull over to the side of the highway, and stop their car! Rocko says: “Okay! Let's think logically! Besides Route 66, what is the most IMPORTANT thing about Springfield, Illinois?” Reggie says: “That it's clearly NOT the Springfield of a certain animated show that's been around LONGER than even The Rugrats have?” Rocko says: “Well, yes, but there's something else it's known for! What is it's biggest feature?!”

Reggie says: “It's the birthplace of Abraham Lincoln!” Rocko says: “And isn't his tomb located HERE in the city?! The question is, which cemetery is it located at?!” Reggie says: “Oak Ridge! Don't forget, I got Straight A's in geography, and I remember, having picked him as the hypothetical president that I would most want to be like in case I ever became President, during my 4th Grade President's Day Holiday assignment! I had to learn ALL about him, and NOT on the Internet, to ensure my teacher that I didn't cut any corners!” Rocko says: “Well, for once, it looks like your school studies are going to come in handy!” (Camera Confessional) Reggie says: “Unlike my brother Otto, I take the time to memorize all the different things I study about! You never KNOW when they might come in handy again later!” Rocko says: “Case in point, the situation we're facing right now!” (End Confessional) Patrick and Pearl get off their train, and Patrick says: “Okay, no pressure! Strike that, make that a maximum 14 minute amount of pressure to be on the safe side, for us to get back on the train! We got to figure out where we need to go, and we better figure it out fast!” Pearl says: “I don't think I've EVER seen you this pressured!”

Patrick says: “Well, I've never had a REASON to get this pressured before! There's up to $44.44 million in stake! That's a lot of PENNIES you know!” Pearl asks: “Why do you say THAT?! Do you want a PENNY for your thoughts!” Patrick says: “Well, there's someone FAMOUS on the penny! And I think he was born and buried here, if my BRAIN coral is cooperating with me!” Pearl says: “You're right about THAT! He had to fight a WHOLE Civil War!” Patrick says: “He's also on the $5 dollar bill!” Than Patrick gets his epiphany, and he says: “LINCOLN! That's the guy's name! I remember, because Lincoln Loud once told me that his first name, is the same as that President's LAST name!” Pearl says: “THAT'S how you remember a former U.S. President?!” Patrick says: “Well, it WORKED, didn't IT?!” (Camera Confessional) Patrick says: “Trying to get my Brain Corral, to divulge important information to everyone else, somehow doesn't seem as easy as it USED to be!” Pearl asks: “You don't think the BRAIN Coral is expiring, do you?!” Patrick says: “I hope not! All of our hopes and dreams for getting a win this season, all RELY on my Brain Coral to be fully functional! But if my Brain Coral is reaching the end of it's NATURAL life-span, it will be no more useful to me than my ORIGINAL brain, which wasn't very USEFUL, if you remember all the trouble I've put Squidward through over the years!” Pearl says: “Well, I STILL wouldn't worry about it TOO much! Even if your Brain Coral IS expiring, I still have enough brains for the BOTH of us!” Patrick says: “Maybe, but do you have enough skills and SAFETY insurance for the both of us?!” (End Confessional) Rocko and Reggie race towards the tall obelisk, that marks the location of Lincoln's Tomb! Reggie says: “Our first flag has got to be in there somewhere!” Rocko says: “And there's no other contestant in sight!” Skipper shouts: “And what do you call ME?! Chopped liver?!” Marlene says: “Actually, you smell more like salmon and sardines, which is just the way I LIKE my man to smell!” Reggie says: “You FOLLOWED us!” Skipper asks: “What was your FIRST clue?! Don't answer that, it's a rhetorical question!” Rocko says: “Thank you Captain Obvious!” Marlene says: “Sorry, but it's FAIR play! We need to do this thing, just as much as YOU do!” Reggie asks: “So why not follow your OWN path?!” Skipper and Marlene anchor and tie their hot-air balloon to the ground, and get off. Skipper says: “If heaven WANTED me to follow my own path, it didn't leave me any CLEAR directions to do so! Now if you will excuse us, we have a challenge to complete!”

(Camera Confessional) Skipper says: “Some may say it is a RATHER underhanded tactic to use, letting some OTHER poor schmucks do our hard work FOR us!” Marlene groans, and she says: “PLEASE don't talk like that! You are tempting FATE again! You do this EVERY single time we gain a SLIGHT lead!” Skipper shouts: “COME ON!!!! Do you HONESTLY BELIEVE, that Patrick could have ANY chance of BEATING US?!” And in the distance, a bus pulls over, and out pops Patrick and Pearl! Patrick shouts: “Whoo-hoo! The tour bus took us right here!” Pearl shouts: “And we STILL have ten minutes to spare!” Marlene says: “Well...” Skipper says: “Don't say it!” Marlene continues: “I don't want to be the first one to tell you this, BUT...!” Skipper SHOUTS: “DON'T SAY IT!!!!” Marlene sings: “YOU ARE AN IDIOT!!!! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!” Skipper fumes, and he says: “That's somehow WORSE than what I THOUGHT you were going to say!” Marlene says: “I'm just telling you the way it is! Every time you tempt fate, irony almost IMMEDIATELY proves you wrong! It's like, the whole THEME of your time as a contestant on this show! And the fact that you STILL haven't learned this lesson, THIS late in the game, simply astounds me! Honestly, talking to you, is like TALKING to an eggplant! I almost WISH that I NEVER tried to save YOUR game, by standing up to Bulma Briefs!” Skipper seriously says: “YOU SO DON'T MEAN THAT!!!!” Marlene seriously says: “Don't tempt me! Even in SPITE of breaking up with Captain Retro, I STILL had a pretty decent shot of actually WINNING this season, and do you want to know WHY I gave that up?!” Skipper says: “Well, it's not EXACTLY like Bulma and Zarbon made that choice EASY for you!” Marlene says: “It didn't have to be THAT way at all! Captain Retro TOLD me, that either ME, or YOU, would be going home, no matter what EITHER of us did; and I went out of my way, to ensure that it wouldn't be you!”

Skipper says: “How would YOU know that?! He could have just SAID that, to put that idea into your head!” Marlene says: “I KNEW Captain Retro, for like almost 2/3rds of the ENTIRE game! And he never ONCE told me ANYTHING, that made it seem like he was saying something, just for the sake of trying to get himself further in the game! And he told me that, even in SPITE of the fact that I had broken UP with him! He didn't tell me that for himself! He told me that for ME!!!! And EVEN for you, despite not having any REASON to! I'm sure he was hoping that I would save myself, but I CHOSE to save YOU, because I believed that you were WORTH saving for a change! Everything I ever did for Captain Retro, wasn't because I believed in him and me; I believed in me and you! Only YOU; ever MEANT enough for me to sacrifice my own game for! Only YOU, ever meant enough for me, to feign a relationship for nearly THIRTY-FOUR whole EPISODES, with a guy I didn't even LIKE, because I KNEW that would get me closer to WINNING! He was even WILLING to help me out ONE last time, even AFTER I broke UP with him, because quite frankly, I think he rather PITIED the fact that I had played him along, just to help YOU; of ALL PENGUINS! Did you EVER stop to THINK that MAYBE this whole PROBLEM, of YOU always constantly being so WRONG all the time, all your LACK of ever being to win CHALLENGES at any given time, ISN'T the fault of anybody ELSE?!” Skipper asks: “Well, if it isn't the fault of anybody else, whose fault IS it, then?!” Marlene says: “It's YOU!!!! It's ALWAYS been you! The only reason any of this has HAPPENED to the both of us, or the reason that you eliminated yourself TWICE, was because of YOU!!!! Sure, you ALWAYS claimed that someone ELSE gave you the idea, or convinced you that I was in DANGER of LEAVING you, and the only reason THAT seemed to HAPPEN to you, was because you MADE it happen, with your paranoid delusions of self-grandeur, that you convinced yourself that nothing COULD possibly trip up YOUR scheme to try to win $44.44 million, when deep down, you KNEW as well as I did that such a thing could NEVER happen to YOU!!!!” Skipper asks: “And just WHY, pray-tell, is THAT?!”

Off in the distance, Reggie and Rocko run back to their car, and they say: “We got our flag! See you later!” And they drive off! Marlene says: “Need I EXPLAIN the fail?! If you REALLY wanted the chance to win, you wouldn't have tried to FORCE it to happen! That's why it's not HAPPENING! Because by trying to FORCE something that all the OTHER contestants didn't want to have happen, even Sniz HIMSELF didn't want it to happen, and he only let it happen, because King Julien PAID him $30 million of his own MONEY!” Skipper says: “Which we're going to pay BACK once we WIN!!!!” Marlene says: “Even if we DID win, that would STILL leave us with only $14.44 MILLION of the initial MONEY!! That's not even DOUBLE what I could have won LAST season! Now, I will be the FIRST to admit that the game I played was flawed; but that was MOSTLY out of sheer naivety on MY part! But YOU?! You're SHEER ignorance! You keep plotting away on your own course, IGNORING the signs all around you! And when you get eliminated, you actually WONDER how it is that such an OBVIOUS elimination could have HAPPENED to you! It happened to you TWICE, and it would have happened a THIRD time, if I hadn't stepped in to take, which in retrospect, was a huge CANNONBALL!!!! I let myself get publicly HUMILIATED, on international TV, just to spare YOU!!!! And now here you are, standing around, not letting this CRUCIAL information sink in, and I'm SURE that if Patrick and Pearl were to run out RIGHT now, you would have the audacity to say it was MY fault!!!!” Skipper says: “Wouldn't it be, though?!” Marlene says: “Well, if you had the capacity to LISTEN to ANYBODY with common sense from the BEGINNING, this wouldn't be happening right now! The way I see it, there are REALLY only two viable solutions for you! Either you STOP tempting fate, and just LET this competition unfold the way it's SUPPOSED to, or you deliberately continue to sabotage us, with another one of your pedantically USELESS suggestions!” Patrick and Pearl rush out, and they say: “We found our flag! We can still make the train!” And their bus takes off! Skipper sighs, and says: “FINE! You win! I won't try to force this thing anymore! I messed up ROYALLY! I did a lousy thing!”

Marlene says: “A lousy thing?!” Skipper admits: “All right! I did a LOT of LOUSY things! I LEFT Team Retro because I couldn't stand to see YOU with Captain Retro! I hooked up with King Julien in order to make you JEALOUS!!!! I got ELIMINATED the first time, because I let my stupid vanity and pride, admit that my relationship with King Julien wasn't REAL!!!! I got OBSESSED with trying to beat you after King Julien got eliminated! And when I couldn't, I hooked up with Blonda in an attempt to make you jealous a SECOND time! I listened to Taotie when I shouldn't have, and suggested that Spongebob should be ELIMINATED, which got ME eliminated after Blonda won herself immunity, and left ME holding the bag! I LET Zarbon convince me that the photograph of you and Sniz sleeping together was genuine, even when I should have known full well that it WASN'T! And I let myself be BLIND to Bulma PRETENDING to be your friend could have POSSIBLY been a good idea for EITHER of us, and should have KNOWN that Bulma would try to torpedo one of us, the minute our relationship became a genuine THREAT to her! I ADMITTED everything I could remember! I did a LOT of lousy THINGS trying to win this season! But, I only did it out of LOVE! Isn't THAT what counts?!” Marlene says: “Well, admitting what you did wrong is a start! But all those things you said? That's NOT how you show someone else you LOVE them! That just shows how you're obsessed about something! True love comes from within you! You want to prove that you truly love me? Than you have to promise me something RIGHT now! Even if you DON'T win, you're not going to CRY, you're not going to WHINE, and you're NOT going to complain about how it should have been you! I mean, even Captain Retro sang himself, that you can't always get what you want! And that song, certainly isn't exclusive to referring to ONLY himself; it can refer to ANYONE! The question is, are you going to be mature enough to handle the out-come, when the time comes?” Skipper sighs, and says: “I'll try!” Marlene seriously says: “You don't TRY!!!! 'Trying', indicates that you're not going to take something SERIOUSLY!!!! Either you DO, or you do NOT! There IS no 'Try'!” Skipper says: “All right! I promise, I WILL be mature about the outcome! No matter what it is!” Marlene says: “Than let's stop wasting time talking, and get that flag! No matter how we finish, we're going to finish on OUR terms! And even if it ends up that SOME people might not LIKE the outcome, that's THEIR problem! Not ours! After all, we can't hope to please anyone, if we don't try to be true to ourselves first!” Skipper says: “You're right, Marlene! As long as we're not hurting anybody else, we should have ALWAYS been true to ourselves! I'm sorry it took ME so long to realize this lesson!” Marlene says: “The important thing is, you're realizing this NOW, when you need to learn this lesson the most!” (End Confessional)

In the “Total Cartoon Global Cruise” airplane, it is already flying over Santa Fe, New Mexico. Sniz says: “Here we are to give you an update on your favorite contestants locations! Rocko and Reggie are currently in the lead, heading to St. Louis, Missouri! Patrick and Pearl are following behind in their train, with Marlene and Skipper still INEXPLICABLY at the Lincoln Tomb...no, wait! There appears to be movement there! It seems that...YES!!!! They've got their first flag, and are taking off in their balloon! And it looks like they might be able to catch up to Patrick and Pearl, cause their train is slowing down to a halt! It seems like Otis and Pig from Back at the Barnyard have stopped the train!” / The camera switches to the train tracks, and Pig asks: “Remind me, why are we doing this again?!” Otis says: “The game is called, 'Chicken'. And if YOU panic and move out of the way of the train first, you LOSE, and you are the 'Chicken'!” Pig says: “This is a STUPID idea for a game!” Otis says: “Says the pig who PREFERS to be a CHICKEN!!!!” Pig says: “I'm no CHICKEN! Peck is the chicken! Technically, a rooster, but you KNOW what I mean!” Pearl asks: “Conductor, is this going to AFFECT our train schedule?!” Gordon Quid turns around, and he says: “I'm afraid it is, lassie!” Patrick asks: “Gordon Quid?! What are YOU doing, running the train?!” Gordon says: “This is my last chance this season to get a decent cameo in, and I didn't want to waste it!” Pearl says: “I don't blame you for THAT!”

Gordon says: “But the bottom line is, the longer they stay there, the shorter amount this train will HAVE at the station!” Patrick says: “This is NOT an efficient use of our TIME! We already know that Rocko and Reggie are ahead of us; and even if Skipper and Marlene HAVE gotten into another one of their bickering quarrels like they have in the past, they probably have already made up by now, and will soon catch up with us!” Pearl asks: “But what can WE do?!” Patrick thinks about it, and looking at Pig and Otis, he SEES an answer! Patrick says: “Desperate times, call for DESPERATE measures! We're traveling on steer, AND pig back!” Pearl says: “Sorry, Gordon! We're getting off the train!” Gordon says: “Be sure to give this train service a positive review on Yelp!; if you still use it!” Patrick says: “We will!” And they get off the train, and Pearl says: “Sorry, Otis and Pig, but this is an emergency!” Otis says: “What's the emergency?!” Patrick says: “The two of us; well, technically, ME partnering up with her, are competing against Reggie and Rocko, and Skipper and Marlene! I've been through FAR too many hopeless situations, and too many times, I relied on dumb luck to see me through the situation! But that's NOT going to cut it here! So instead, I propose a NEW, BETTER game for the two of you!” Pig asks: “Oh, and what game would that be; RUNNING?!” Pearl says: “This isn't just, 'Running'. This is something that needs ENDURANCE! Something that needs STAMINA! Like, 'LONG Distance Running! CROSS Country Running'!” Otis says: “We could do that! It sounds like it could be fun!” Patrick says: “Good! Because YOU'RE going to be our RIDES! We've got a LONG way to go, and you're GOING to take us there, and you're NOT going to give us any TROUBLE about IT! RIGHT?!!!” Pig says: “NO!!!! That's not going to be a problem!” Pearl says: “Good!” And Pearl gets on the back of Otis, and Patrick gets on the back of Pig! And Pearl says: “Now, get!” And Otis and Pig start running forward on the train tracks, and Pearl says: “I guess it was a false alarm! I guess your brain coral is working perfectly fine!” Patrick says: “I just hope my brain coral continues to hold out!” Otis says: “I hope my STRENGTH holds out!” Pig says: “I hope our LEGS hold out!”

(Camera Confessional) Patrick and Pearl are riding on Otis and Pig! Patrick says: “Do I feel bad about riding on these two? Kind of! But you got to understand; this is PRACTICALLY a once in a lifetime opportunity! And you know what they say about opportunity! The postman always rings twice! WHOOPS!!!! Freudian slip! Said, 'Postman' and 'Rings twice', meant to say 'Opportunity' and 'Only knocks once'!” Pearl says: “All right, I guess maybe I SHOULD worry about the Brain Coral after all!” (End Confessional) Reggie and Rocko pull up to St. Louis, Missouri! Reggie says: “At least the location for our next flag will be OBVIOUS this time! It's got to be in the Gateway Arch!” Rocko says: “But where?! That's the $44.44 million question!” Reggie says: “Somewhere! I'll start from the right side, and work my way to the left! You go and get some gas while I'm working, and meet me back at the left side as soon as you can!” Rocko says: “Good plan, Reggie! I always KNEW you had a beautiful mind, inside your beautiful head on your beautiful body!” Reggie says: “Well, exercising daily always helps!” (Camera Confessional) General Barracuda is panting, and he says: “I made it! There's too much distance to travel between all you three duo teams! You have GOT to slow down the frequency of your confessionals!” Rocko says: “Well, WE will be sure to keep THAT in mind! Can't make any promises for the OTHER two duo teams!” Reggie says: “In any case, a beautiful, athletic body can get you MANY places! But only a GREAT mind can open the doors to endless possibilities! Exercising my mind is just as important as exercising my body! It's one of the secrets to my great track record of success!” (End Confessional) Reggie rushes into the right side of the Gateway Arch, and Rocko drives off to get gas, but BOTH miss seeing Patrick and Pearl ride in on Pig and Otis! Otis sarcastically asks: “Could you be a little MORE degrading to us?! This is HUMILIATING!!!!” Patrick says: “Too bad! We were thinking of treating you to some Goofy Goober Ice Cream once this whole ordeal is over!” Pig says: “On second thought, feel free to degrade us all you want! It wouldn't be the FIRST time this has happened to us!”

Pearl asks: “Where do we go now?!” Patrick rhetorically answers: “Maybe, the giant, CONSPICUOUS Arch that's FILLING the landscape in front of us?! Kind of BIG, kind of 'Archy', can't MISS it! Well, I guess, technically we COULD have missed it, but then we'd be out of the running for $44.44 million! Even I'M not that dense!!!! Well, usually, I'm not ASKED to be!” Pearl says: “I'm sorry I asked! I'd just feel more comfortable if we could get this challenge accomplished as soon as possible!” Patrick says: “Trust me! I'm with you there!” (Camera Confessional) Patrick says: “Don't get me wrong! We've been in challenges where we've been under SOME kind of time pressure before! But it really MEANS something, when it means the difference as to whether or not you will be able to compete for $44.44 million! All of the sudden, you can't just play with just a few of your best cards and hope that it will be enough! You better be prepared to go all in, or there is no WAY you will be able to play with the BIG boys!” Pearl says: “And believe me, it DOESN'T get any BIGGER than this!” (End Confessional) Patrick says: “I'll go into the left side of the arch, and work my way to the right! You get Otis and Pig some food supplies, so they'll keep willing to keep carrying us!” Pearl says: “Well, I guess I better do it fast, because Skipper and Marlene are off in the distance!” Patrick says: “I need my glasses!” And once again, he comically looks through two DRINK glasses, and sees their balloon off in the distance! Patrick removes them, and he says: “YEP! It's them all right! Time is DEFINITELY of the essence!” Pearl says: “You heard the man! The sooner you take me to the store, the sooner you BOTH get to eat!” Otis says: “I can't argue with THAT!” Pig says: “I wouldn't know HOW to!” And Patrick dashes into the left side of the arch, while Pearl rides off to the nearest store! In the meantime, Skipper and Marlene are closing into the Gateway Arch! Marlene says: “The others have only gotten to the Arch and haven't left yet! With no forcing ANYTHING! See what happens when you LISTEN to your BETTER half?!” Skipper says: “The term, 'Better', is CLEARLY subjective depending on YOUR definition of it; but seeing as how ARGUING against what YOU have said has only PROVED to be counter-productive to me, during the whole ENDEAVOR of this season, I'm going to let it slide!” Marlene says: “Thank you, precious!” Skipper says: “And do me one more favor!” Marlene asks: “What's that?” Skipper says: “Remind me to NEVER enter this INSANE, and INANE cartoon, competition show AGAIN after this season is over! I don't want to disappoint any of my fans ever AGAIN, after all the stupid stunts I pulled!” Marlene says: “No promises!” /

In the arch, Reggie is approaching HER green flag in the exact MIDDLE, top center of the arch from the right, going to the left! And Patrick's flag is close to the EXACT same place, as he's approaching from the left, going to the right! And Skipper, uses one of HIS drills, to drill a HOLE into the center, and all THREE contestants manage to PLUCK their flags at the exact same time! Patrick says: “Well, if this isn't evidence that synchronicity exists, I don't know WHAT is!” Skipper says: “Technically, we already KNEW that synchronicity exists!” Reggie says: “And it's NOT just a popular album released in 1983 by The Police!” Skipper says: “You just LOVE spouting off FACTS that Captain Retro told you, don't you?!” Reggie says: “It's a gift!” / The “Total Cartoon Global Cruise” plane is flying over the Grand Canyon, in Arizona! Sniz is in the cock-pit, and he says: “The action is heating up, and is HOTTER than ever!” Fondue says: “Let's run through the high-lights of all their stops SO far!” / Genre: New Wave. Sub-genre: The Police (the musical group). Song: “Synchronicity I” Sung by: Sting and The Police! /

During the song, a montage of all three duo teams, visiting the Stonehenge Replica at the Missouri University in Rolla, Missouri; the Carnegie Public Library in Joplin, Missouri; the Galena Water Tower in Galena, Kansas; the Coleman Theater in Miami, Oklahoma; the Blue Whale Waterfront Structure of Catoosa, Oklahoma; the SkyDance Pedestrian Bridge in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma; the Santa Fe Building in Amarillo, Texas; the Lions Antique Museum in Adrian, Texas; the Glen Rio Welcome Center in Glen Rio, Texas; the Blue Swallow Motel in Tucumcari, New Mexico; the Kimo Theater in Albuquerque, New Mexico; the historic El Rancho Hotel & Motel of Gallup, New Mexico; the Wigwam Hotel in Holbrook, Arizona; Standing on the Corner Park in Winslow, Arizona; the Orpheum Theater in Flagstaff, Arizona; and the historic House of the Desert in Barstow, California; are seen. They all usually arrive at all these locations, more or less at the same time, each collecting their flags close to each other! /

Sting sings: “With one breath, with one flow; you will know, Synchronicity! A sleep trance, a dream dance, a shared romance, Synchronicity! A connecting principle, linked to the invisible! Almost imperceptible, something inexpressible. Science insusceptible, logic so inflexible! Causally connectable, nothing is invincible! If we share this nightmare, then we can dream Spiritus mundi. If you act, as you think, the missing link, Synchronicity! A connecting principle, linked to the invisible! Almost imperceptible, something inexpressible. Science insusceptible, logic so inflexible! Causally connectable, nothing is invincible! We know you, they know me! Extrasensory, Synchronicity! A star fall, a phone call, it joins all, Synchronicity! A connecting principle, linked to the invisible! Almost imperceptible, something inexpressible. Science insusceptible, logic so inflexible! Causally connectable, nothing is invincible! It's so deep, it's so wide! Your inside, Synchronicity! Effect without a cause, sub-atomic laws, scientific pause, Synchronicity!” / After the epic song ends, the camera switches back to Sniz and Fondue, who are now waiting with all of the relevant former contestants at the Hollywood Bowl, waiting for the arrival of one of the duo teams! Sniz says: “Well, it's taken the better part of THREE days, but at long last, our three duo teams are in the NEAR final stretch! All three duo teams have gotten 18 of their flags, and they just need to collect ONE more in San Bernadino, California! Let's check back with them, as they each make another Camera Confessional!” (Camera Confessional) Reggie says: “Out of all the places I've visited so far within this particular trip challenge, I'd say the most interesting were the Stonehenge replica, and that Blue Whale structure!” / Patrick says: “The most interesting places I saw, included that Galena Water Tower, and the Blue Swallow Motel!” / Skipper says: “The most interesting places that Marlene and I visited, were the Carnegie Public Library, the Coleman Theater, the Kimo Theater, and the Orpheum Theater!” (End Confessional) Fondue says: “I will say this for the three contestants, they've managed to keep even US guessing, and WE'RE the hosts!” Sniz says: “So don't bother asking US to help fill out YOUR private lottery game guesses! As far as we're concerned, the answer is STILL up in the air!” Fondue says: “Now, time to get back to the MAIN attraction! And check our contestants progress!” /

The camera switches back to the three team duos, who are looking southwest, down the isolated stretch of historic Route 66. And they all know that only one more flag separates them, from being able to participate in the Final Three challenge! Reggie sighs, and says: “Well, this is IT!” Rocko says: “Only one more location to visit, before our race to the Hollywood Bowl!” Skipper says: “The culmination of 51 episodes of waiting and working have led to this moment!” Marlene says: “Throughout all our mistakes, all the misunderstandings, and all our errors, we persevered just to get this far!” Patrick says: “All we have to get is ONE more flag!” Pearl says: “Than after that, it's anyone's game to win or lose!” And they all simultaneously say: “To the game!” Reggie jumps back in the red car, and says: “Let's go!” Rocko begins to start the car, but it sputters out and STOPS cold!!!! Reggie says: “NO!!!! NO! No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!!! Not here, not NOW!!!! We were SO close!!!!” Marlene says: “Too bad, so sad! More money for us!” (Camera Confessional) Marlene says: “Just when I think I've figured luck out, it manages to surprise even me! It seems that fortune is FINALLY smiling on us; just when we need it MOST!” Skipper says: “And to think, it ONLY took 51 episodes for Irony to FINALLY work in OUR favor!” (End Confessional) Skipper and Marlene get in their hot air balloon, and Marlene says: “See you at the finish line! If you can even GET there!” Patrick and Pearl turn to Reggie and Rocko, and Patrick says: “Sorry about the car breaking, but, THOSE are the BRAKES!!!! Get it?!”

Reggie says: “Unfortunately, yes! And I wish we didn't!” Pearl says: “Meanwhile, we've got a challenge to WIN!!!!” Otis and Pig begin to notice that their LEGS are wobbling, and Otis says: “Guy, girl! I DON'T think we can CARRY you MUCH...!” (KLUMPF!!!!) And they collapse, and Otis finishes: “LONGER!!!!” Rocko says: “So, what were YOU saying about THOSE being the BREAKS?! Or did you mean the OTHER type of brakes?” Patrick says: “I meant the first one, but I think the STUPID sub-titles said the OTHER one ON PURPOSE!” Pearl says: “Is this show getting META again?! I thought we DROPPED that after the San Francisco episode!” Reggie says: “I guess this show really IS finishing the way it WANTS to! But that doesn't mean that WE'RE finished! We've come TOO far to just quit now!” Patrick says: “But how are you going to get to the Final Flag AND the Hollywood Bowl WITHOUT a working car motor?!” Rocko asks: “Who needs a car motor?! I've been saving something for just such an emergency!” And Rocko goes to the back of the car trunk, and he sighs, and says: “I hoped I would NEVER have to utilize THIS device again, but desperate times, call for DESPERATE measures!” And Rocko opens the trunk, and pulls out, The “Suck-o-matic 3000!!!!” Patrick says: “WOAH!! You're NOT going to utilize THAT dangerous piece of machinery again! That vacuum cleaner has been RECALLED!!!! You can't even BUY that machine anymore, unless you live in TEXAS!!!!” Rocko says: “Relax! Jimmy Neutron and Keswick modified this little baby THEMSELVES!!!! Now, instead of cleaning up everything in sight, it has been FIXED, so that it can only blow OUT air, instead of taking it IN! And we'll use WIND power, to propel our WAY into victory!” And Rocko TURNS on the vacuum cleaner in reverse, and points it BEHIND the car, and sure enough, the FORCEFUL blow pushes the car FORWARD down the highway, to San Bernadino, California! Pearl moans, and sadly says: “MAN!!!! Now we'll NEVER win!” Patrick rhetorically says: “NEVER?! That's preposterous! Why, we've made it all the way HERE, haven't we?! And how DARE you waste such potential, by simply giving up! Shame on you, shame on you, SHAME on you! The worst part of it is, you truly made me believe that I was SPECIAL! That I had a CHANCE! That I truly HAD a purpose! And do you want to KNOW something?! YOU were RIGHT! And I STILL believe IT! And I, for one, am NOT going to give up my dream HERE!!!! Grab some wooden planks, some rope, and find something to make a sail! We're going to make a LAND boat, and push ourselves into victory!” Pearl sighs happily, and she says: “Patrick, I always KNEW that SOMEHOW, you had a BRAIN!” Patrick says: “I'm sorry it took me so long to FIND it! But if there was any time to use it, that time is NOW!!!!”

(Camera Confessional) Patrick says: “All this time, I think the thing that held me back the most, was actually not me thinking that using my Brain Coral would turn ME into a JERK! I think that deep down, I was AFRAID! Everyone always telling me that I was STUPID, or that I was BRAINLESS, or that I was IDIOTIC!!!! I may usually ACT happy, and carefree; but deep down, those comments HURT me! I mean, if someone cuts me, do I not BLEED?! If someone tickles me, do I not LAUGH?! I have FEELINGS, just like everyone else! And every time someone insulted me, it HURT me deep inside; and I think that's why I didn't use the full capacity of my Brain Coral sooner. It's because I was afraid that deep down, they were RIGHT, and it sent me down a spiraling case of pity and self-loathing, that I came to believe for myself! I looked to everyone else for help and advice; because I felt that if I didn't, I would be left behind! But I realize now that the reason they were INSULTING me, might not have been because they actually HATED anything I did on Spongebob Squarepants! I think it was because that they were AFRAID of what I could do, equipped with the Brain Coral! That if I ever FOCUSED and released its TRUE potential, AND mine, I would be an UNSTOPPABLE threat to them! So I'm no LONGER going to listen to their INSULTS! I'm going to do what I SHOULD have done from the START, and listen to my brain, my heart, and my ONE true LOVE!!!!” Pearl says: “Patrick, that is poetry in motion!!!!” (End Confessional) With Patrick's Brain Coral firing on all cylinders, Pearl and Patrick are able to EASILY find all the materials they need!

Pig says: “I'm sorry you have to go, and sorry we can't be of anymore help to you! But we still wish you the best of luck in your quest!” Patrick says: “Don't worry! You've helped us MORE than enough! And we'll still GLADLY take you to the Goofy Goober when all is said and done!” Otis says: “We'll be sure to take you up on that! Just as soon as we regain the feeling in our legs!” Patrick and Pearl, get on their make-shift land boat, and Patrick says: “Pearl, you know what you need to do! Use your whale spout, Pearl! And breathe harder than you EVER have before!” Pearl says: “You've got it, Patrick!” And Pearl begins doing so, and soon enough, the race is once again a three-way competition! / The camera focuses in on Skipper and Marlene, still in their hot-air balloon, and are now looking over the city of San Bernadino, California! Marlene says: “This is it, Skipper! The final flag has GOT to be located in the ORIGINAL McDonald's Restuarant, located in this city!” Skipper says: “Than let's drop in, and pick up our flag!” Marlene looks behind her, and in the distance, she SEES Reggie and Rocko coming down the highway! Marlene says: “And we BETTER do it fast! Reggie and Rocko are STILL in the game!” Skipper says: “I am SO glad I didn't say anything stupid! Otherwise, it would be WORSE right now!” Reggie and Rocko look forward, and they see Skipper and Marlene descending to the ORIGINAL McDonald's Restuarant! Reggie says: “It's just as WE anticipated! Our final flag is located at this restaurant!” Rocko says: “Kind of convenient! We can pick up a meal, AND the final key to our victory! Metaphorically speaking, of course!” Skipper and Marlene settle down on the ground, and securely fasten their hot-air balloon to the ground, and Reggie and Rocko pull up to the restaurant! They rush up to the take-out window, and who should they see EXCEPT Bubble Bass at the window! Marlene asks: “Bubble Bass?! What are YOU doing here?!” Bubble Bass says: “Well, if you folks MUST know, my Grandmother thought it would be a GOOD idea for me to acquire some actual WORK skills, should an opportunity ever arise that allows me to have a girlfriend! And if that ever happens, I need to be able to give her the things she wants and needs!” Reggie says: “Sounds like a good reason, to me!” Skipper asks: “So how do we get our final flag?!” Bubble Bass says: “You got to order something! That way, you'll help ME, and you'll be able to help yourselves!” Rocko says: “We'll order a Big Mac Meal and our flag to go!” Marlene says: “We'll have the same!” Bubble Bass says: “Two orders, coming up!” Reggie looks behind, and she says: “And make it fast! Patrick and Pearl are STILL in the game!”

Pearl is STILL breathing on the sail, and Patrick says: “Keep breathing, Pearl! We're almost there!” Pearl gasps, and she says: “I'm not...sure, how much...longer, I can...keep this up!” Bubble Bass says: “Two Big Mac Meals, each with a flag for the BOTH of you!” Rocko says: “Thank you very much!” Skipper says: “Likewise!” Bubble Bass says: “And good luck to the BOTH of you!” Reggie and Rocko turn on the Suck-o-Matic 3000 again, and continue in their car! Skipper and Marlene get in their hot air balloon and leave! Patrick and Pearl arrive at the McDonald's restaurant. Patrick looks, and he says: “GREAT! Just who we needed to SEE; Bubble Bass!” Bubble Bass says: “Oh! I remember YOU! You're Spongebob's friend! Well, if you think I'll give you the last flag you need, than YOU are sadly mistaken!” Pearl grabs Bubble Bass by his throat, and she angrily says: “Now, YOU listen here! I have just BREATHED a land boat, across a HUNDRED miles of DESERT to get the both of us HERE!!!! We only need ONE more flag to participate in our final CHALLENGE, and if YOU don't give us our final flag RIGHT now, I will DO something, NOT NICE!!!!” Bubble Bass nervously says: “I-I-I w-w-w-will get you, a meal and a flag, r-r-right away!” (Camera Confessional) Bubble Bass says: “General Barracuda, PLEASE do me a gigantic favor! Remind me to NEVER make Pearl MAD again!!!! Like, EVER!!!!” / Patrick says: “WOW! Pearl! You really took Bubble Bass DOWN a notch!” Pearl gasps, and she says: “I'm tired, I'm exhausted! I don't think I have it IN me to get us any further!” Patrick says: “Than we've just got to find something HERE that will help us on our way to get to the finish line!” (End Confessional)

Patrick says: “Bubble Bass! Do you HAVE anything in the restaurant that can help us GET to the Hollywood Bowl?!” Bubble Bass gives them their meal, and their final flag, and he says: “Well, the only other thing we DO have, is some firework rockets, left over from the Fourth of July!” Patrick says: “We'll take every one you've GOT!!!!” And Bubble Bass hands them a BIG supply of rockets, and Patrick ties them to the back of their land boat! Pearl asks: “Patrick!!!! Are you SURE this idea is actually SAFE?!!!” Patrick says: “On a scale from 1 to 10, this plan is EXTREMELY dangerous and has a very HIGH risk for getting us both EXTREMELY hurt! But this might be our only option LEFT for getting to the finish line on TIME!!!!” And Patrick lights a match, and IGNITES all the rockets! Pearl says: “Next stop, Hollywood Bowl!” Patrick says: “Wait a minute! I just lit a bunch of ROCKETS!!!! Rockets EXPLODE!!!!” And the rockets FIRE, and pushes Patrick and Pearl's land boat INTO the air, and it heads DIRECTLY for Skipper and Marlene's Hot Air Balloon, and Marlene screams: “NO!!!! You're heading STRAIGHT FOR US!!!!” And Patrick and Pearl's Land Boat pokes INTO the Hot Air Balloon, and ALL four of the contestants begin CAREENING through the air, WILDLY out of CONTROL!!!! / At the Hollywood Bowl, the previously eliminated contestants are STILL waiting around! Daggett asks: “Do you KNOW how much LONGER?!” Norbert says: “Daggett, I told you a HUNDRED times, the contestants will get here whenever they are good and ready!” Treeflower says: “Well, they better do it FAST if they want to get here in time!” Sniz looks through his binoculars, and he says: “And we've got our FIRST duo team here!” Reggie and Rocko pull their car into the parking lot, and they RUSH inside, and GET onto the stage! Sniz says: “And our first duo team to arrive is Reggie and Rocko!!!!” Otto says: “YES!!!! Way to go, sis!” Fondue says: “Well, is anybody ELSE going to get here?!!!” And as soon as he ASKS that, they hear the HISSING of a hot-air balloon, and Skipper, Marlene, Patrick, and Pearl ALL screaming: “WOAH!!!!!!!!!” (KLUMPF!!!!) And all FOUR of them land onto the stage of the Hollywood Bowl at the exact same time! The four of them all get out of the deflated hot air balloon, and Skipper asks: “Wait a minute! We actually made it ALL the way here?! Alive and unscathed?!” Marlene says: “It's incredible!” Pearl says: “It's amazing!” Patrick says: “So if Reggie got here first, which one of us got here SECOND?!” Sniz looks at his watch, and he says: “I'm afraid I cannot answer that. Because as of right now, we are completely, actually, totally, and irreversibly, all out of...(GONG!!!!)...time.” Blonda says: “Oh, I just HATE it when that happens!”

Sniz says: “You'll just have to relax and tune in next time, to find out just what is going to happen, on the FINAL episode of this amazing season, of Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” / Episode Notes: Featured songs in this episode are “Take the Long Way Home, Synchronicity I,” and “Route 66” and “Life is a Highway”, the latter two songs of which are BOTH part of the episode title of this episode! Cameo appearances in this episode include Gordon Quid from “Catscratch”, Otis and Pig from “Back at the Barnyard”, and Bubble Bass from “Spongebob Squarepants,” making the latter his THIRD cameo appearance in a row! / Personal Notes: It certainly wasn't my intention, nor my design, for this season to take almost PRECISELY three exact years for me to complete, from start to finish. But as it turns out, that's how this turned out! No spoilers, no details, and no surprises will be will revealed from me! You'll just have to tune in and find out, just exactly how everything will be resolved at the end of the season! / That's my episode idea for today!  Enough said, true believers!

[Hayden]

I don't care if you have to put lipstick and a wig on a penguin, just pander to your demographic instead of worrying about the gender ratio of winners! 

Even Patrick would make a more deserving 1st prize winner, because nobody likes Rocket Power! Enough said!

 

 

[4EverGreen]

Hayden, I LIKE "Rocket Power!"  I know ENOUGH people liked "Rocket Power" to give it TWO full seasons on Nickelodeon, which is more than I can say for "Invader Zim" during it's original run!  However, you'll be pleased to know that for the season finale, I'm doing an affectionate parody of "Run, Lola Run". And just like the famous German movie, there will be THREE different endings for what happens during the episode,

and every single contestant will win in at least one of the endings, so YOU get to choose which of the endings that YOU like the best, just like everyone else will!

Enough said!

[4EverGreen]

And then there was one...after all this time, you will FINALLY learn the results of what 52 episodes worth of plot boils down to. I admit, that while this season has had its share of trips and stumbles, some of it even my OWN mistakes due to misreading and wrong-guessing about what my core audience wanted; but overall, I STILL think that overall, this is STILL the best season of the “Total Cartoon” series that I have written so far! I'm sorry for dragging my feet on this for so long, but due to recent events relating to “Spongebob Squarepants”, in a case of “Real Life Writes the Plot”, this season will have an ending, that I never thought would be an actual ending; but I think it will still be a good ending regardless. I hope you're ready for the thrilling conclusion of this ride! / (Dedicated to the memory of Stephen Hillenburg).

Sniz is at the Hollywood Bowl, surrounded by all the former contestants who were previously eliminated after and INCLUDING Snaptrap, surrounding him. Sniz says: “Previously on Total Cartoon Global Cruise, you've seen 58 different contestants duke it out against each other in all kinds of different challenges, as we cruised around the world, seeing many different locations, and seeing lots of character development! But out of the 58 possible contestants, only THREE could emerge, to make it to the Final Three! Reggie Rocket, Patrick Star, and Skipper the Penguin! Skipper had no END of trouble this season! Marlene pretended to hook up with Captain Retro in order to get HERSELF further in the game, causing Skipper to feel kind of 'Ouchy', and get jealous! Skipper became the FIRST contestant in Total Cartoon history, to find a way to lose, un-lose, lose again, and then UN-LOSE again, and SOMEHOW make it all the way to the Final Three! Patrick has had to struggle against IMMENSE odds; battling his crippling paranoia about not being smart or good enough to compete against his fellow contestants, and finding a way to rise above his many detractors, and never giving up, in trying to make it to the Final Three! Reggie Rocket had a bit of trouble in the beginning. Bulma Briefs TRIED to eliminate Reggie, by manipulating her emotions with a micro-chip. And when THAT didn't work, she framed Snaptrap for the job, in order to get him eliminated! Reggie also had to deal with the fact, that Angelica had become TOO difficult of a person to keep in the game! And even in SPITE of Angelica's overwhelming nastiness, Reggie STILL couldn't bring herself to vote Angelica off, and even though she KNEW her vote against Suzie was basically a throw-away, Reggie STILL managed to feel GUILTY about doing it! Finally, Reggie found herself over-shadowed by awesome this season; mostly due to Captain Retro! But after the teams merged, she found herself becoming more relevant, and being able to win more solo challenges, and more than EARNED her slot in the Final Challenge! And the question that remains to be answered is, who is JOINING her in the Final Challenge?! You'll find out soon, on the Grand Finale of Total Cartoon (sings) Global Cruise! Best season EVER!!!!” /

A montage of the Final Three's best moments in season three are shown. Particularly, whenever they helped one of their teams score a win, or whenever they won a solo challenge, and the montage is set to a very well-known Tina Turner hit song! / Genre: Rock and Roll. Sub-genre: Tina Turner. Song: “The Best”. Sung by: Tina Turner! / Tina: “I call you when I need you. When my heart's on fire. You come to me, come to me; wild and wired. You come to me, give me everything I need. Give me a lifetime of promises, and a world of dreams. Speak the language of love, like you know what it means. It can't be wrong; take my heart and make it strong, baby! You're simply the best! Better than all the rest! Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met! I'm stuck on your heart! I hang on every word you say! Tear us apart? Baby, I would rather be dead. In your heart, I see the start of every night and every day. In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away. Just as long as I'm here in your arms, I could be in no better place. You're simply the best! Better than all the rest! Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met! I'm stuck on your heart! I hang on every word you say! Tear us apart? No, no, no; baby, I would rather be dead. (Trumpet solo) Each time you leave me I start losing control. You're walking away with my heart and my soul. I can feel you even when I'm alone. Oh, baby, don't let go! You're the best! Better than all the rest! Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met! I'm stuck on your heart! I hang on every word you say! Tear us apart? No, no; baby, I would rather be dead. You're the best!” / And the epic song ends! / “Shattered!” /

The action returns to the Hollywood Bowl, and Sniz says: “Thank you for joining us on the final episode of Total Cartoon Global Cruise! Now, it's time to answer the question on everyone's mind!” Angelica yells: “When are you giving ME my (BLEEP!) MONEY?!!! You're STILL censor swearing ME?! OH, MY, GOD!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS DIRTY, STINKING, ROTTEN, LOW-DOWN, MOTHERBLABBIN, GASAFRACKIN, TERRAMACKIN, BLASTERCRACKIN, FLAFFERMATTIN, SPEFFERSCRATTIN, RASAPACKIN, WRATHATERRIN, PERRAVERRIN, HAFFAGAFFIN, LASTAPLASTA, COUGHAHAFFA, NEEDLEWHACKIN, NO-GOOD MACHIAVELLIAN JERK!!!!” Harvey's eyes open up WIDE, and he says: “WOW!!!! Angelica Pickles really MUST be evil!!!! Instead of using ACTUAL swear words, she went OUT of her way to make up her OWN ones!” Taotie scoffs, and he says: “Her OWN swear words, my FOOT!!!! She just MEMORIZED the made-up swear words I said against TIGRESS, and is utilizing them to generalize HER feelings toward Sniz!” Sniz says: “Ignoring Angelica Pickles on her FINAL day of tyranny and tirades on this show, the question on everyone's mind is, who is joining Reggie Rocket in the final challenge? Well, we looked over the last episode, and our judges have determined in a BIZARRE twist of fate, both Patrick AND Skipper, managed to BOTH step onto the stage at the EXACT same time! So, we have graciously decided that the Final Challenge WILL be a Final THREE challenge after ALL! Makes it more exciting for us, and more unpredictable for everyone else! Anyways, here is the FINAL Challenge, of this season! We have decided to make the Final Three a celebration of what season three has been ALL about; the SINGING!!!!” General Barracuda says: “UH, you're joking, RIGHT?!”

Sniz rolls his eyes and says: “PLEASE!!!! How many people have actually WATCHED this season, or even the whole show, for the PLOT?! If they had, we would have won AWARDS for this show EIGHT YEARS STRAIGHT! But then again, most true art often goes unappreciated in its own time. Anyways, you three are going to mix it up with the excitement and singing of Total Cartoon Global Cruise! We've got some rocking songs for you to sing in this challenge!!!! I want you three to rock your hearts out SO much, the Hollywood Bowl itself will figuratively become SHATTERED!!!! See how I worked the episode title INTO this actual episode?! Speaking of, since we began this season with a mandatory song by The Rolling Stones, it's only FITTING that the last mandatory song should be by The Rolling Stones as well!”

(Beep! Beep! Ba-beep! Beep! Beep!) Sniz says: “This is it, contestants! Let's end this season on a HIGH note! But not SO high, that you BREAK your voice! Little singing humor, there!” Skipper says: “Don't worry about us! At this point, we're ready for just about EVERYTHING!” / Genre: Punk Rock. Sub-genre: The Rolling Stones. Song: “Shattered!” Sung by: The Cast! / Cast: “Shattered, shattered!” Captain Retro: “Love and hope and sex and dreams are still surviving on the street!” Haggis: “Look at me; I'm in tatters! I'm a shattered!” Cast: “Shattered!” Angelica: “Friends are so alarming, and my lover's never charming! Life's just a cocktail party on the street!” Reggie: “City of Angels!” Patrick: “People dressed in plastic bags directing traffic! Some kind of fashion.” Cast: “Shattered!” Skipper: “Laughter, joy, and loneliness, and sex and sex and sex and sex!” Treeflower: “Look at me, I'm in tatters! I'm a shattered!” Cast: “Shattered!” Po: “All this chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter 'bout Shmatta, shmatta, shmatta; I can't give it away on LaCienaga Avenue! This town's been wearing tatters!” Cast: “Shattered, shattered!” Snaptrap: “Work and work for love and sex; ain't you hungry for success, success, success, success?! Does it matter?” Cast: “Shattered!” Bulma: “Does it matter? I'm shattered! Shattered! Ah, look at me, I'm a shattered!” Sniz: “I'm a shattered! Look at me- I'm a shattered, yeah!” General Barracuda: “Pride and joy and greed and sex! That's what makes our town the best!” Taotie: “Pride and joy and dirty dreams and still surviving on the street! And look at me, I'm in tatters, yeah! I've been battered, what does it matter?!” Tigress: “Does it matter; uh-huh!”

Kaput: “Does it matter; uh-huh, I'm a shattered!” Marlene: “Don't you know the crime rate is going up, up, up, up, up?! To live in this town you must be tough, tough, tough, tough, tough!” Dib: “You got rats in West Hollywood, bed bugs in San Fernando, what a mess; this town's in tatters! I've been shattered!” Patrick: “My brain's been battered, splattered all over Manhattan Beach!” Zim: “Uh-huh, this town's full of money grabbers!” Oonski: “Go ahead, bite the apple, don't mind the maggots, huh!” Buhduece: “Shadoobie, my brain's been battered!” Stimpy: “My friends, they come around; they flatter, flatter, flatter, flatter, flatter, flatter, flatter!” Dog: “Pile it up, pile it high on the platter!” / And the epic song ends! / Patrick asks: “So, tell me, how exactly is this challenge going to work?” Sniz says: “Well, hopefully it SHOULD be a simple one, but depending on WHAT you know, or how GOOD you are at singing songs, it might NOT be!” Stimpy asks: “Will this be a scary challenge for them?!” Sniz says: “Not as long as they have a scary game FACE that they can make at anyone that antagonizes them!” Lil says: “OH! I can make a REALLY scary face! Watch this!” And Lil makes a WEIRD movement with her tongue, and tries to touch it to her left eye, and she says: “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” Stimpy says: “Oh, that's NOT scary! I think that's kind of CUTE!” And Lil SCOWLS angrily and Stimpy says: “WOAH!!!! Now THAT'S scary!” Sniz says: “Now, since Skipper and Patrick are kind of HANDICAPPED, compared to Reggie who's been firing on all four cylinders this entire season, every contestant can ask for TWO former contestants of their choice, to provide them with backup, to the songs they have to sing!” Angelica screams: “ANYONE EXCEPT REGGIE ROCKET TRY AND PICK ME!!!! I DARE YOU!!!!” Reggie nervously says: “No, lets...go with Captain Retro and Rocko!” Rocko says: “Seriously?!” Reggie says: “Statistically speaking, other than me, you two are respectively the smartest and most skilled within this entire season!” Captain Retro says: “Good call!” (Make-Up Confessional) Captain Retro says: “Wow! They brought back the Make-up Confessionals from season two! I always WANTED to use this room! Anyways, I'm just really excited that I get to help Reggie Rocket out in this final challenge!” / Angelica asks: “Whatever happened to being MY best friend?! Why doesn't anyone just TRUST me ANYMORE?!” (End Confessional)

Angelica asks: “Reggie, don't you TRUST me anymore?!” Reggie says: “Come ON, Angelica! It's not that I DON'T trust you...well, actually it's pretty much THAT!” Skipper says: “I'm going with Marlene, and Po for MY picks, for brains and brawn respectively!” Po says: “I get why you would want Marlene with you. But, why pick me, as well?” Skipper says: “Basically, it boils down to the fact that you're all covered in black and white like me. Besides, I feel like I can trust you, like I trust the back of my flipper wings.” (Confessional) Po says: “Honestly, the inner machinations of Skipper's mind never fail to confound me! His brain is like a mystery wrapped up in a riddle, sealed inside of an ENIGMA! In other words, even a panda of MY talents has trouble trying to follow his train of thought!” (End Confessional) Patrick says: “I know that I could go with ANYONE, but I still feel like I should go with Pearl and Spongebob! I mean, if it wasn't for the support and the sacrifice of both of you, I probably NEVER would've made it THIS far to begin with!” Pearl says: “I'm just flattered that you picked me, since I was voted so EARLY off!” Patrick says: “I just think that you deserve to be here more than I do. Honestly, I completely lucked OUT to get to this point! I know that if it were you, that you would've done more to EARN getting here than I did!” Spongebob says: “Patrick, you're not nervous about this, are you?” Patrick says: “How could I NOT be?! My performance in this challenge, will basically represent the sum total of everything that I have ever DONE this season! If I don't do well here; I'll be treated like a bigger joke by Squidward when I get back home than I was before!” Pearl asks: “THAT'S what you're worried about?! Trust me when I tell you this; if it weren't for that whole 'Ink Lemonade' incident, Squidward wouldn't even KNOW that you EXIST!”

(Confessional) Patrick says: “I'm hoping that if I do well in this Final Challenge, I can re-negotiate my contract on Spongebob Squarepants, and make it so that from now on, my character will never be asked to do humiliating or demeaning things to other characters. Because the way things stand now, I HAVE to do what the writers ask me to do, or else I can get fired and replaced, the way that Ren Hoek got fired and replaced from season three of Ren and Stimpy onward! If it weren't for the fact that Stimpy can imitate Ren's voice flawlessly, seasons three through five of THAT show would have NEVER worked out at all! Of course, Stimpy didn't LIKE most of the episodes he HAD to work on in those seasons, but at least he DID them! Now THAT'S what I call dedication!” (End Confessional)

Sniz says: “So, it's all settled, then! And yes, Reggie. I'm well aware of your agreement with the fifteen Team Retro contestants you made an agreement with back before the Paris Challenge. If YOU win the Final Challenge, we WILL honor your promise, and split the Grand Total Prize Money between each of you evenly! Now, can anyone answer the question--(Captain Retro and Bulma quickly raise their hands)--BESIDES Captain Retro AND Bulma--(Captain Retro and Bulma put their hands down)--of what $44.44 million divided by 16 is?” Patrick says: $2,777,500.” And everyone looks at Patrick strangely! Patrick says: “WHAT?! I'm allowed to pay attention and remember things from this season TO, you know! Don't act like this is all about YOU, Skipper and Reggie!” (Confessional) Skipper nervously says: “Wait a minute! Patrick has actually been paying ATTENTION, to EVERYTHING, that has happened to HIM and to EVERYONE this SEASON?! THIS...could be TROUBLE!” / Reggie is intrigued, and says: “So, Patrick has actually been paying ATTENTION this season, huh? This challenge just got a whole lot more interesting AND challenging for me! But then again, I am the type of person who actually thrives better when there's a challenge on the line! Well, Patrick, you've thrown down the gauntlet! Now, time to see if you can deliver!” / Patrick says: “I plan to deliver! I mean, I kind of HAVE to, but I want to, anyways! This Final Challenge could change everyone's perspective of me! If I win this, it will prove that I'm NOT just an idiot, I am someone who can amount to and BE something! This is my chance to SHINE!” (End Confessional)

Sniz says: “Wanda, prepare the Hollywood Bowl!” Wanda says: “You got it!” And the Hollywood Bowl gets decorated with loudspeakers, spotlights, and all the instruments a rock and roll band could need! Reggie says: “This is it, you guys! No matter what happens from here on out, it's anybody's game! And it doesn't matter whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game!” Sniz says: “Here is how the challenge is going to work! Each of you will pick a total of four different songs to sing during this challenge. The catch is, you can't sing any song that has already been performed this season, and you can't repeat a song that somebody else has already sang this season! Now, who would like to go first?” Skipper says: “Oh, I'll go FIRST!!!!” Sniz says: “Sounds like SOMEONE is confidant about his chances!” Reggie says: “I'll go second!” Patrick says: “I guess that means I'm LAST again, as USUAL!” Larry says: “Don't count yourself out just yet! After all, it ain't over until the fat lady sings!” Patrick says: “But we don't HAVE a fat lady!” Larry says: “It's just an expression!” Patrick says: “Oh!” (Confessional) Patrick says: “I still can't quite figure out why it is that I have managed to last this long, and all my friends got eliminated before me! Is it because I'm THAT insignificant of a threat, or was that the universe's way of showing a little pity on me? I REALLY hope it's the second one!” / Angelica FUMES, and she says: “How DARE Reggie not pick ME, ME; after EVERYTHING I TAUGHT her for her to GET to this point! Okay, technically, she never DID anything that I would have done to get to the Final Three, but that's TOTALLY NOT the POINT! Well, I'll show THEM!!!! If I can't get the spotlight to myself, I'll make their ENTIRE little SHOW a disaster! If I can't WIN the $44.44 million, than NOBODY CAN!!!!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: “All right, contestants! Have you decided on the songs that you're going to sing?” Skipper says: “Me and my partners have, and we think you're going to get a little THUNDERSTRUCK by our first pick!”

Patrick says: “Could you repeat that last--?” But Patrick NEVER gets to finish his thought, because Skipper and his band-mates begin playing a very familiar, rocking song, as Angelica goes to the circuit breaker box, and begins trying to ZAP EVERYONE present with LIGHTNING, but she ONLY ends up hitting the other former villains, and HERSELF, and just makes the whole sequence look even cooler! / Genre: Heavy Metal. Sub-Genre: AC/DC (the band). Song: “Thunderstruck”. Sung by: Skipper, Po, and, Marlene! / Skipper and Po, harmonizing throughout: “Thunder! Thunder! Thunder! Thunder! Thunder! Thunder!” Skipper: “I was caught in the middle of a railroad track! I looked around and I knew there was no turning back! My mind raced and I thought, what could I do? And I knew there was no help, no help from you!” Marlene: “Sound of the drums, beating in my heart!” Po: “The thunder of guns, tore me apart!” Skipper: “You've been, Thunderstruck!” Po and Marlene: “Thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck!” Skipper: “You've been, Thunderstruck!” Po and Marlene: “Thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck!” Skipper: “Rode down the highway, broke the limit, we hit the town! Went through to Texas, and we had some fun! We met some girls, some dancers who gave a good time! Broke all the rules, played all the fools! Yeah they blew our minds!” Po: “And I was shaking at the knees, could I come again, please?” Marlene: “Yeah, THOSE ladies were TOO kind!” Skipper: “You've been, Thunderstruck!” Po and Marlene: “Thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck!” Skipper: “You've been, Thunderstruck!” Po and Marlene: “Thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck!” Skipper: “Thunderstruck!” Po and Marlene: “Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck!” Skipper: “It's alright, we're doing fine! It's alright, we're doing fine, fine, fine! Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah!” Po and Marlene: “Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck!” Skipper: “Thunderstruck, baby! Thunderstruck, you've been Thunderstruck!” Po and Marlene: “Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck!” Skipper: “You've been Thunderstruck!” / And everyone EXCEPT the former villains applaud after the song ends! Taotie screams: “ANGELICA, you IDIOT!!!! Are you TRYING to KILL US as WELL as YOURSELF?!!! STOP messing AROUND for ONCE in your MISERABLE life and ACCEPT defeat with DIGNITY like the REST of us!!!!” (Confessional)

Angelica screams: “UGH!!!! What the HEY?!!! WHY AREN'T MY IDEAS WORKING?!!!” Than a familiar male voice says: “Because you KNOW you don't HAVE what it takes to truly be EVIL!!!!” Angelica tenses up with fear and she says: “My DADDY?!!!” And Charlotte comes in with Drew, and she says: “And your MOTHER!!!! We have seen EVERYTHING you've done the past three seasons, and we must say that it's APPALLING!!!! Where do you GET OFF, THREATENING people in the OPEN?!!! It works much BETTER if you just DO what you're thinking instead of saying it out LOUD for EVERYONE to HEAR, like we've done with YOU the past 18 years, or have we NOT spanked you and HIT you enough for you to get the FREAKING message?! Drew, take her AWAY!!!! If you want a dirty deed done right, a woman's got to DO it herself! Angelica, you will NEVER be half the cut-throat woman that I am, EVER!!!! Drew, please POUND her firmly on the buttocks AND the head until her skin turns RED!!!! Maybe THEN, she'll finally get the message STRAIGHT! I'll take care of things ALL by myself!” And Angelica just gulps nervously! (End Confessional) Skipper says: “All right! It's time for our second song! We're playing a little Pinball WIZARD!!!!” Charlotte GRABS Blonda, and gags Blonda over her mouth until they're in a discreet place! Blonda says: “ANGELICA!!!! CHARLOTTE?! What are YOU doing here?!” Charlotte says: “It has become QUITE apparent to me that Angelica will NEVER succeed at being the cut-throat woman I want her to be, and I decided that if she is TRULY that incapable and incompetent of winning the money that I DESERVE to have, than I JUST HAVE to get it MYSELF!!!! And YOU'RE going to HELP ME WIN IT!!!!” Blonda says: “And what if I REFUSE?!!! What THEN?!!!” Charlotte says: “Do you want to go BACK to being the PATHETIC Fairy actress who could NEVER win an AWARD at ANYTHING?! The person who ALWAYS comes in LAST, like TIMMY TURNER?!!!” Blonda GASPS in horror at the prospect, and she says: “Well, NO!!!!

Charlotte smiles smugly, and she says: I KNEW you would help me!” (Confessional) Charlotte says: “It takes a firm, STRONG hand to get anything you want done in this world! A TRUE woman would KNOW about THAT! If you DON'T take charge, than you get LEFT behind! I've spent 27 YEARS clawing my way to the top, and no SECOND half-rate daughter or wanna-be fairy actress is going to get in MY way, of staying on the top NOW!!!!” / Blonda says: “Every time I TRY to get OUT of being evil, THEY pull me back IN!!!! I mean, the 'They', is always subjective, but you know what I MEAN!” (End Confessional) Charlotte says: “Now, you SEE the former contestants out there?! SMASH them all into PANCAKES with giant PINBALLS, or I'll reveal EVERY SINGLE DIRTY SECRET about you to the entire UNIVERSE, and you'll be BLACKBALLED for LIFE!!!!” Blonda says: “THAT'S BLACKMAIL!!!!” Charlotte says: “That's SHOW Business! Life, Camera, ACTION!!!!” Captain Retro suddenly gasps, and he says: “I'm seeing something disturbing! But HOW?! Every single contestant has been ELIMINATED! And who would START something NOW?! It's NOT Angelica, she's WAY too incompetent to pull something like this off! Unless...GASP!!!! It's her MOTHER!!” (Confessional) Captain Retro says: “I guess Rosseau truly WAS right! People ONLY become evil due to the circumstances of which they were raised! Well, it's no WONDER Angelica is SO messed up in her way of thinking! Look at the PARENTS that RAISED her! Where do they get OFF, on treating their own DAUGHTER so SHAMELESSLY?! Well, if Charlotte thinks she can succeed where her daughter failed, she's WRONG! I've spent the entire season protecting these contestants, and I'm not about to stop NOW!” (End Confessional) Po says: “All right, let's get this show on the road!” Genre: Hard Rock. Sub-Genre: Elton John. Song: “Pinball Wizard” Sung by: Skipper, Po, and Marlene! /

During this sequence, Blonda keeps 'Poofing' up human-sized pinballs to try to flatten various characters, but Captain Retro keeps blasting them and turning them into harmless fireworks, once again making the show look more amazing! / Skipper: “Ever since I was a young boy, I've played the silver ball. From Laughlin down to Long Beach, I must have played them all. But I ain't seen nothing like him, in any amusement hall. That deaf, dumb and blind kid, sure plays a mean pinball! He stands like a statue, becomes part of the machine. Feeling all the bumpers, always playing clean. He plays by intuition, the digit counters fall. That deaf, dumb and blind kid, sure plays a mean pinball!” Marlene: “He's a pinball wizard, there's got to be a twist! The pinball wizard's got such a supple wrist.” Po: “How do you think he does it? I don't know! What makes him so good?” Skipper: “He ain't got no distractions, can't hear those buzzers and bells. Don't see the lights a-flashing, plays by sense of smell. Always has a replay, And never tilts at all. That deaf, dumb and blind kid, sure plays a mean pinball! I thought I was the Bally table king. But I just handed my pinball crown to him. Even on my favorite table, he can beat my best! His disciples lead him in, and he just does the rest.” Marlene: “He's got crazy flipper fingers, never seen him fall!” Skipper: “That deaf, dumb and blind kid, sure plays a mean pin ball!!!” Marlene: “He's a pinball wizard, there's got to be a twist! The pinball wizard's got such a supple wrist.” / And the amazing song ends! Captain Retro says: “BLONDA!!!! I KNOW that you're the one doing this, and WHOEVER is putting you up to it, you BETTER stop NOW, your evil endeavors can ONLY end in TEARS!”

Charlotte asks: “WHAT?!!! Angelica said NOTHING to me about some over-powered dog with super-powers protecting all the other contestants! What GIVES?!” Blonda smirks, and she says: “You're not the ONLY one who's capable of deceit! I've been intercepting Angelica's e-mail letters to you, and CHANGING the content of them MAGICALLY, to remove any MENTION of Captain Retro, in order to keep YOU in the dark! Looks like you HAVEN'T thought of everything!” Charlotte says: “Oh, this game is FAR from over! We are simply going to keep trying again, and again, and AGAIN, and AGAIN, until I FINALLY WIN!!!! Comprende?!” (Confessional) Bulma says: “SHEESH!!!! Did I sound THAT CRAZY and psychotic when I was telling Zarbon what to do?! I am SO over the 'Trying to be evil' bit FOREVER!” (End Confessional)

Blonda simply sighs and says: “I should have signed with Hanna-Barbera! They NEVER would've allowed THIS nonsense to happen to me!” Skipper says: “Our next song, shall be, Cold As Ice!” Charlotte says: “He WANTS cold?! We'll GIVE him cold, WON'T we Blonda?!” (Confessional) Blonda groans, and she says: “This challenge isn't going to get any BETTER for me, is it?” / Captain Retro sighs, and says: “Looks like Charlotte has to learn her lesson the HARD way, like her daughter; figures! And by the way, for those of you keeping score at home, as of right now, the score is Karma 43, Blonda zero!” (End Confessional) Po says: “All right, let's get this show on the road! Whatever THAT means!” /

Genre: Foreigner (the band). Song: “Cold As Ice”. Sung by: Skipper, Po, and Marlene! / During this sequence, Blonda cranks up the air-conditioner to be SO cold, it produces, icicles, snowballs, and blizzards, but Captain Retro flies around SO fast, the resulting friction in the air MELTS the snow before it can reach ANYBODY, and turns into a nice, refreshing mist, that cools them down on a hot, summer day! / Skipper: “You're as cold as ice. You're willing to sacrifice our love. You never take advice! Someday, you'll pay the price, I know! I've seen it before, it happens all the time! Closing the door, you leave the world behind! You're digging for gold, yet throwing away, a fortune in feelings! But someday you'll pay! You're as cold as ice, you're willing to sacrifice our love! You want paradise, but someday, you'll pay the price, I know! I've seen it before, it happens all the time! Closing the door, you leave the world behind! You're digging for gold, yet throwing away, a fortune in feelings! But someday you'll pay!” Po: “You know that you are cold as ice!” Skipper: “As cold as ice to me!” Marlene: “Cold as ice!” Skipper and Marlene: “You're as cold as ice! (Cold as ice)! Cold as ice, I know! You're as cold as ice! (Cold as ice)! Cold as ice, I know! Oh, yes, I know!” Po: “Cold as ice!” Skipper and Marlene: “You're as cold as ice! (Cold as ice)! Cold as ice, I know! (You're as cold as ice)! Oh, yes, I know!” / And the amazing song ends! Charlotte groans and says: “UGH!!!! Why can't that FREAKING dog just MIND his own BUSINESS?!” Blonda says: “Captain Retro has had a HABIT of doing that this season! And let me tell you, once he gets his mind SET on something, there really IS no stopping him!” Charlotte furiously says: “Oh, there ISN'T; is THERE?!!! WE'LL soon SEE about THAT!!!! I'll just come up with a plan that Captain Retro can't POSSIBLY STOP, and YOU have the power to MAKE it happen!” Blonda says: “Every other villain this season has tried something STUPID and moronic to get their way that didn't work! What miracle do YOU possess?!” Charlotte says: “Something I KNOW about your past, that comes OUT of your OWN playbook! The MILLI VANILLI show-stopper!”

Blonda gasps in horror, and she says: “No, NO!!!! I ALWAYS regretted granting that wish that RUINED the lives of Rob Pilatus and Fabrice Morvan! I won't DO such a horrible thing, I CAN'T!!!!” Charlotte SCREAMS: “DO IT!!!! Or I SWEAR, I'll MAKE you WISH you had NEVER been BORN, because I'll mess up your reputation SO MUCH, you'll become an UNPERSON!!!! Is THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!!!” Blonda groans in agony, and she says: “I HAVE no CHOICE!!!!” Charlotte smugly smiles and she says: “I know you don't!” (Confessional) Blonda groans, and says: “UGH!!!! Why can't I ever just catch a BREAK during this episode?! Have I really been THAT unsympathetic this season?! Or am I JUST that unlucky?! Either way, neither scenario is a really pretty one to face up to, but I REALLY hope I'm not unlucky, it would make surviving THIS final challenge suck THAT much more!” (End Confessional) Blonda grants Charlotte's insidious wish, and a strange feeling comes over Skipper, Po, and Marlene. Skipper mindlessly says: “For our final song, we will play, Girl, You Know It's True.” Charlotte says: “OOH!!!! NASTY!!!! I KNEW YOU had it IN YOU, BLONDA!!!!” Blonda snarks back, and says: “Your approval fills ME with SHAME!!!!” / Genre: Dance pop. Sub-genre: New Jack Swing. Song: “Girl, You Know It's True.” Sung by: Skipper, Po, and Marlene? / Even though the song SEEMS normal, Captain Retro SENSES something is OFF, because the voices everyone is hearing don't SOUND like themselves, and their lip movements look a little OFF, compared to the words! /

Marlene?: “So what are you doing back?” Skipper?: “Well, I sat back and thought about the things we used to do. It really meant a lot to me, you mean a lot to me.” Marlene?: “I really mean that much to you?” Skipper?: “Girl, you know it's true. I'm in love with you girl cause you're on my mind! You're the one I think about most every time! And when you pack a smile in everything you do, don't you understand, girl, this love is true! You're soft, succulent, so sweet and thin, that's kind of like a vision upon your skin! It lightens up my day, and that's, oh, so true! Together we're one, separated, we're two!” Po?: “To make you all mine, all mine, is my desire! Cause you contain a quality, you, that I admire. You're pretty plain and simple, you rule my world, so try to understand!” Skipper?: “I'm in love girl! I'm in so love girl! I'm just in love girl! And this is true! Girl, you know it's true! Ooh, ooh, ooh, I love you! Yes, you know it's true! Ooh, ooh, ooh, I love you! Girl, you know it's true, my love is for you! Girl, you know it's true, my love is for you! This is some sort of thing, girl, I can't explain! My emotions starts up when I hear your name! Maybe your sweet, sweet voice would ring in my ear, and stimulate my senses when you are near! Come with your positive emotion, love, making, enjoying; that's for me to bust, it's like a girl and a boy!” Po?: “These feelings I get, I often wonder why, so I thought I might discuss this, girl, just you!” Skipper: “And I know what you're wearing, I don't care, as I've said before! No reason that I like you, girl, just for what you are! If I said I'd think about it, you rule my world, so try to understand! I'm in love girl! I'm in so love girl! I'm just in love girl! And this is true! Girl, you know it's true!” Marlene?: “Ooh, ooh, ooh, I love you!” Po?: “Yes, you know it's true!” Marlene?: “Ooh, ooh, ooh, I love you!” Skipper: “And girl, you know it's—girl, you know it's—girl, you know it's—girl, you know it's--.” (Confessional)

Skipper says: “I have no recollection of HOW it happened, but there we were, standing on stage, lip-synching to a Milli Vanilli song, when all of a sudden, the record started skipping, and it was like, 'Girl, you know it's—girl, you know it's'—at least 80 million PEOPLE watching this, mind you! 'Girl, you know it's—girl, you know it's'—and I can't keep repeating that 15 times, so I did the only thing I could possibly do under the circumstance that I found myself in!” (End Confessional) The record keeps playing: “Girl, you know it's—girl, you know it's--.” And Skipper runs off-stage, and he looks for a record player, finds a very WORN copy of a Milli Vanilli vinyl, SMASHES it to pieces, and quickly pulls DOWN the curtain over his CLEARLY embarrassed band-mates! Po shakes his head and asks: “What HAPPENED to us out there?!” Marlene says: “We were HIGH-JACKED!!!!” Skipper says: “Worse! I think we were brainwashed, and her NAME starts with Blonda!”

(Confessional) Skipper says: “This is the LIMIT!!!! They can set me UP with King Julien, they can LIE to me about eliminating Spongebob to be a good idea, they can EVEN make a FAKE photograph of Marlene sleeping with Sniz! But when you MAGICALLY brainwash me into LIP-SYNCHING a GOD-AWFUL Milli Vanilli song from 1989, that's where I draw the LINE!!!! Blonda is going to PAY for this, in SPADES!!!!” / Patrick says: “Look, I feel bad that this sort of thing happened to Skipper, but as far as I'm concerned, he DID have it coming for what HE did to Spongebob! It feels pretty good for somebody ELSE to be on the other end of being humiliated for once!” (End Confessional) Skipper, Po, and Marlene march towards Blonda, but Charlotte is nowhere in SIGHT!!!! Po says: “Blonda, we NEED to have a TALK with you, NOW!!!!” Sniz sternly says: “WRONG!!!! I need to have a talk with you, in regards to that stunt you just pulled, and what it MEANS for your prize money!” Marlene says: “Actually, we were meaning to ask that to you. I know that stunt looked REALLY bad! But there's a LOGICAL explanation! We can explain! Anyways, I guess we were wondering about the $42 million that Skipper has to have won!” But Sniz doesn't respond. Marlene says: “The $42 million for third place, when does Skipper get it?” Sniz says: “He doesn't.” Marlene says: “Why not?” Sniz says: “Because he BROKE the rules!” Skipper asks: “What rules? We didn't see any rules, did we now?!” Sniz asks: “Wanda?!” Wanda says: “You've got it!”

And Wanda 'Poofs' up a movie screen, playing a familiar scene from “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”, and Gene Wilder says: “Wrong sir, WRONG!!!! Under section 37-B of the contract SIGNED by him, it states quite clearly that ALL offers can be made null and void IF, and you can read for yourself in this photo-static copy: 'I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges and licenses, herein and herein contained, etc., etc.! Fax, mentis, encendium, glory accountem, etc., etc.! Memo bliss, purietem encottom! It's ALL there, black and white, clear as CRYSTAL! So you get NOTHING!!!! You LOSE!!!! Good DAY, SIR!!!!” Skipper says: “You're all crooks! You're all cheats and SWINDLERS, that's what you are, how could you DO a thing like this?! Build up a little bird's hopes, and then SMASH all his dreams into pieces?! You're an inhuman monster!!” Gene Wilder says: “I SAID, GOOD DAY!!!!” (Confessional)

Charlotte laughs evilly, and she says: “HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!! Oh, MY!!!! Oh, IT HURTS!!!! I haven't laughed THIS much since Hurricane Katrina DROWNED New Orleans!!!!” Blonda appears in the trailer, looking glum. Charlotte says: “Come ON! Blonda! Isn't THIS what you've ALWAYS wanted?! You're doing a GREAT job!!!!” Blonda groans, and she says: “Oh, when can we STOP?!” Charlotte says: “Just as soon as I have HUMILIATED every single PERSON who HUMILIATED ME in this COMPETITION!!!!” Blonda says: “You MEAN, HUMILIATED Angelica!!!!” Charlotte screams: “I SAID, HUMILIATED ME!!!! When they HUMILIATE my DAUGHTER, they humiliate ME!!!! AND I can't have THAT, now, can I?!” Blonda says: “No WONDER you married a last man with the last name of Pickles! Please, stop this! Even your own DAUGHTER doesn't want this! It isn't FAIR!!!!” Charlotte incredulously says: “FAIR?! I'll tell YOU what's not FAIR; spending a LIFETIME, consigned to the sidelines, watching every OTHER single Nicktoon with NO talent, get FAR more screen-time than YOU!!!! Well, finally, my waiting has paid off, and no second-rate, wanna-be super-hero dog, is gonna mess it up for me NOW!!!!” / Captain Retro says: “I got to hand it to Charlotte, that was a clever, dirty trick! Dirty, but still CLEVER all the same! She KNEW that I could just STOP any physical attempt to get rid of the contestants that she could think of, so she decided to go for a more mental approach, by having Blonda magically brainwash the contestants, so that they couldn't stop themselves, until it was too late! And since Sniz thinks that Skipper broke the rules on purpose, he won't LISTEN to them! I'll have to figure out a way to expose Charlotte, and show her the consequences of what scheming leads to, once and for all!”

(End Confessional) Skipper says: “Come on, Marlene, let's get out of here! WE'LL get even with these guys if its the LAST thing we ever do! One way or another, we'll GET that $42 Million!” Sniz orders the curtain rolled back up and he says: “I'm sorry for that UNFORTUNATE debacle that was put on display here, folks! I TRUST that nothing like THAT will happen with the OTHER finalists, now, WILL it?!” Reggie says: “Of course not! You can always count on US to play a straight game!” Sniz says: “Let's hope so! Because your band is on NEXT! You HAVE picked the songs you want to play, don't you!” Reggie says: “Of course we have! All approved by Captain Retro himself!” Captain Retro says: “And I'll be keeping a close eye on EVERYONE IN the Hollywood Bowl, so if anyone even ATTEMPTS to try anything to SABOTAGE Reggie Rocket, they will be EXPOSED to the ENTIRE UNIVERSE, and will have their name FOREVER associated with MUD!!!!” Blonda says: “I guess humiliating Reggie Rocket is a no-go, then!” Charlotte says: “Oh, we're HUMILIATING her, when they LEAST expect it!” Captain Retro can't keep his guard up 24/7!” Reggie Rocket says: “Our first song is a really, rocking favorite of ours, and since this is our last chance this season to perform it, here is Welcome to the Jungle!” / Genre: Heavy Metal. Sub-Genre: Guns N' Roses (the band). Song: “Welcome to the Jungle”. Sung by: Captain Retro, Reggie Rocket, and Rocko! /

Captain Retro: “Welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games! We got everything you want! Honey, we know the names!” Reggie: “We are the people that can find, whatever you may need!” Rocko: “If you got the money, honey, we got your disease!” Captain Retro: “In the jungle, welcome to the jungle! Watch it bring you to your, cha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, knees, knees!” Reggie: “I wanna watch you bleed!” Captain Retro: “Welcome to the jungle, we take it day by day!” Rocko: “If you want the money, honey, you are gonna bleed!” Captain Retro: “But it's the price you pay!” Rocko: “And you're a very sexy girl! That's very hard to please!” Reggie: “You can taste the bright lights, but you won't get them for free!” Captain Retro: “In the jungle! Welcome to the jungle! Feel my, my, my serpentine!” Reggie: “I, I wanna hear you scream!” Captain Retro: “Welcome to the jungle, it gets worse here everyday! Ya learn ta live like an animal in the jungle where we play!” Reggie: “If you got a hunger for what you see, you'll take it eventually! You can have anything you want, but you better not take it from me!” Captain Retro: “In the jungle, welcome to the jungle! Watch it bring you to your cha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, knees, knees!” Reggie: “I'm gonna watch you bleed!” (Guitar solo)! Rocko: “And when you're high, you never, ever want to come down, so down, down, yeah!” (Guitar solo continues)! Captain Retro: “You know where you are?! You're in the jungle, baby!” Rocko: “You're gonna die!” Captain Retro: “In the jungle, welcome to the jungle! Watch it bring you to your cha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, knees, knees! In the jungle, welcome to the jungle! Feel my, my, my serpentine! In the jungle, welcome to the jungle! Watch it bring you to your cha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, knees, knees! In the jungle, welcome to the jungle! Watch it bring you to your...” Reggie: “It's gonna bring you down! Ha!” / And the epic song ends! /

Reggie Rocket says: “This doesn't seem possible! We performed an entire song, and nothing happened to us! Something is off here!” (Confessional) Reggie Rocket says: “From my personal experience on this show, whenever something bad DOESN'T happen when I think that it SHOULD happen, that's when I start to REALLY worry! I mean, there are a NUMBER of things that could go WRONG in a rock show, as demonstrated by Skipper, so why did nothing happen to me? I mean, I would hope that it might have something to do with my good karma; but in reality, I think SOMEONE is just waiting until Captain Retro lets his guard down to do something TRULY humiliating! I don't think they'll try the brainwashing trick again! Besides, such a tactic would NEVER work on Captain Retro! But if that's not the tactic they'll use, I shudder to THINK of what they might TRULY have in mind!” (End Confessional) Captain Retro says: “Look, Reggie, I know that you're worried, and that you have very good reasons to do so. Unfortunately, I don't think worrying is going to help anything! Besides, we've got six eyes between the three of us, so it's going to be pretty hard for anyone to get the drop on US! Nobody's going to pull any tricky tricks as long as I'm around! You better believe THAT!” Rocko says: “It's time for our next song! It's kind of a more obscure one, but we hope that you'll like it! It's called, I Could Give You a Mirror!” / Genre: New Wave. Sub-Genre: The Eurythmics. Song: “I Could Give You a Mirror.” Sung by: Reggie Rocket, Captain Retro, and Rocko! / (Instrumental opening)

Reggie: “Oh, how can you be so cold, with my arms to hold you? How can you be so cold, with my arms to enfold you? I could give you a mirror, to show you disappointments. I could give you a history. Could you ever listen in to me?” (Instrumental solo) Captain Retro: “Oh, how can you be so cold, when there's a fire burning?” Rocko: “How can you be so cold, when all the ice is melting?” Reggie: “I could give you a mirror, to show you disappointments. I could give you a history. Could you ever listen in to me? Oh, ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh. I could give you a mirror, to show you disappointments! I could give you a history! Could you ever listen in to me? (Instrumental solo) Oh, how can you be so cold, with my arms to hold you? How can you be so cold, with my arms to enfold you? I could give you a mirror, to show you disappointments. I could give you a history, could you ever listen in to me? I could give you a mirror, to show you disappointments! I could give you a history, could you ever listen in to me? I could give you a mirror, to show you disappointments! I could give you a history! Could you ever listen in to me? I could give you a mirror, to show you disappointments! I could give you a history! Could you ever listen in to me?” / And the epic song ends! /

Reggie says: “Okay, now I KNOW something is seriously wrong! We're two for two, and STILL nothing has gone wrong! What could the plan possibly be?!” (Confessional) Reggie says: “What I've learned from my experience in the game show, is that when anything suspicious DOESN'T happen, that's when I KNOW that something really SERIOUS is about to happen! Could Angelica REALLY be that callous and disrespectful to ME?! After all the PITY I showed to her?!” / Captain Retro says: “Come on, Charlotte! What is your GAME plan, here?!” (End Confessional) Charlotte chuckles, and she says: “The time is right, to TARGET Reggie!” Blonda asks: “REGGIE?!” Charlotte scoffs and says: “Oh, PLEASE!!!! Do you think I would waste my time trying to make a plan that involves Captain Retro?! He's an annoyance, yes. But if I try to humiliate him, it wouldn't work, and he's not who really counts ANYWAYS!!!! Reggie is the one I the competition, SHE'S the one we MUST humiliate! And you can HUMILIATE her, the SAME Way Bulma Briefs AND Janet Jackson were HUMILIATED!!!!” Blonda gasps, and she says: “Not a WARDROBE malfunction! The show could get CANCELLED!!!!” Charlotte flashes a SLASHER smile, and she says: “EXACTLY!!!! And THEN, I WILL FINALLY BE THE QUEEN OF ALL NICKTOONS, just like I was ALWAYS MEANT to BE!!!!” Blonda says: “That's WHAT all this scheming and conninving to Angelica has been ABOUT?! Trying to get YOUR show back on the air?! It's been FIFTEEN YEARS, it's OVER!!!! To continue pursuing this FANATICAL dream of yours is PURE INSANITY! Honestly, it's like CERTAIN people holding out for the NON-EXISTANT chance of EVER getting to have SLAVES again which SPOILER alert, is NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!!!! In fact, there's a FAR better chance that the people who WANT slaves will become SLAVES instead at THIS rate, which would be a VERY meaningful irony as far as I'm concerned!”

Charlotte says: “Why don't you take that PREACHING of yours, and SHOVE it up your--!” Blonda says: “Watch your MOUTH! You can get censored swearing just as easily as Angelica can!” Charlotte says: “Irrelevant! You WILL make Reggie Rocket LOSE her top and EXPOSE her BREASTS to the ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!!! Of course, you KNOW what will happen should you, CHOOSE to go against me!” Blonda briefly trembles, than she defiantly says: “I Don't CARE!!!!” And Blonda madly begins firing her wand around, hitting a bunch of former villains in the process! Blonda angrily says: “You can DO whatever you WANT to MY reputation, but I WON'T be a part of your EVIL any longer! I will NEVER stoop that low!” Charlotte gets red in the face, and it looks like she's about to SCREAM and lose it, but she quickly calms down, and she says: “Very well, then! Since YOU won't do it, I'll guess I'll have to do it MYSELF!!!!”

(Confessional) Charlotte angrily pushes buttons on her I-Pad, and she says: “Publish EVERY single ROTTEN secret about Blonda! Send it to EVERYONE!!!! SEND, SEND, SEND!!!! Now that I've RUINED HER life, I'm going to RUIN the lives of EVERYONE else! NO ONE is going to keep ME out of the spotlight! Just you WAIT, Angelica! I'm going to succeed for YOU, and I'm going to succeed for ME!!!! This is my moment of GLORY!!!!” (End Confessional) Rocko says: “You've got to tell us, Captain Retro, what's going on?” Captain Retro sighs, and he says: “Charlotte Pickles, is what is happening. She is here because Angelica FAILED her, and now she's here to do what her daughter could not or would not do!” Reggie asks: “You mean, Angelica is NOT the one who ordered Blonda to brainwash Skipper, Marlene, and Po?” Captain Retro says: “As devious as Angelica is, she was holding back. She knew that if she ever TRULY did anything to betray YOUR trust, it would be the END for your friendship with you, and that friendship is the one thing that Angelica was NEVER willing to betray, no matter WHAT her parents did to her! She might have been a Karma Houdini on her show, but she's had SUCH a miserable life in real life! Don't hate her, for what her parents have done to her!” Reggie says: “You mean, Angelica never went as FAR as Charlotte or Drew wanted her to? Why?” Captain Retro says: “Simple. Because you were kind to her. And you're the only person who has been, in her entire life so far!” (Confessional)

Reggie says: “Oh, man! Now I feel really AWFUL about all the bad stuff that has happened to Angelica this season, which I didn't even think was POSSIBLE, let alone PLAUSIBLE! How could Charlotte and Drew be THAT cruel to their own DAUGHTER?!” (End Confessional) Reggie asks: “What should we do?!” Captain Retro says: “Keep playing. I have a feeling that Charlotte's scheme is going to end up back-firing on her in the most karmic way possible, and it will be COMPLETELY her own fault! In the mean-time, we've got a song to play!” Rocko asks: “What shall we play?” Captain Retro says loudly: “Our next song shall be, The Pleasure Principle!” Charlotte says: “And it will be the LAST pleasurable thing Reggie will EVER sing in her ENTIRE life!!!!” And Charlotte hooks up a giant HOOK to a construction working truck, and turns it on! Charlotte says: “Crud! I forgot the WARM-UP time for these things! It will take at LEAST two minutes before this thing can rip OFF Reggie's top!” / Genre: Dance Pop. Sub-Genre: Janet Jackson. Song: “The Pleasure Principle”. Sung by: Reggie Rocket, Captain Retro, and Rocko! / During this sequence, Charlotte tries to WIELD the hook to keep grabbing at Reggie's top, but it keeps MISSING because Reggie keeps DANCING out of the way! /

Reggie: “You might think I'm crazy, but I'm serious! It's better you know right now! What I thought was happiness was only part-time bliss! You can take a bow! It was all just one big night out on the town, riding in your limousine! We turned right, and I say wrong, which brings us to a stop, as the light is changing! Oh, my meters running, so I got to go right now! It's the pleasure principle, oh, oh, oh!” Captain Retro: “It's the principle of pleasure! Oh, oh!” Reggie: “It's the pleasure principle, oh, oh, oh, oh! It's true you want to build your life of guarantees! Hey, take a ride in a big yellow taxi! I'm not here to feed your insecurities, I wanted you to love me!” Rocko: “Love me!” Reggie: “This has become an all too familiar scene! It's not the first time I paid the fare! Where did you get the idea of material possession? Thank you for the ride to nowhere! And my meters running, so I've really got to go! It's the pleasure principle, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!” Captain Retro: “It's the principle of pleasure!” Reggie: “Ohhhh, it's the pleasure principle, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! I know, what you mean to me! Baby this is nowhere! You know, what became between you and me, human differential! It's the principle of pleasure! Oh, oh, oh, oh! It's the pleasure principle!” Rocko: “Principle!” Reggie: “Oh, oh, oh, oh! You might say, that I'm no good! I wouldn't trust your looks baby, if I could! I got so many things I wanna do before I'm through! Hey! It's the pleasure principle! It's the pleasure principle! Baby, you can't hold me down!” / Charlotte says: “I have you NOW!!!!”

Reggie sings: “Baby, you can't hold ME down!” Angelica screams: “STOP!!!!” And she PUSHES Reggie OUT of the way and at that VERY second, the hook RIPS off Angelica's top, and REVEALS her black-barred, censored breast to the world! Angelica cries: “MOMMY!!!!” Charlotte screams: “How COULD YOU?!!! You ruined EVERYTHING for ME!!!! I was about to HUMILIATE Reggie Rocket in front of the ENTIRE universe, THOROUGHLY destroying her reputation for LIFE, until YOU had to butt in and ruin EVERYTHING for me!!!!” Angelica, looking very battered and bruised, due to what Drew Pickles did to her, simply says: “Mother, Reggie Rocket is MY friend! She's the only one I've got!” Charlotte yells: “What do you need HER for?! With the $44.44 million, you could BUY any friend you WANT!!!! There's like, at least, 3.3 BILLION other girls just LIKE her!!!!” Angelica defiantly says: “Not to ME, there isn't!” Charlotte defiantly says: “FINE!!!! Than you can be a POOR, MISERABLE, USELESS, PATHETIC NOTHING like the REST of them!” Angelica says: “After everything I've been through this season, I'd RATHER be a good, happy, p-p-p-p--.” Patrick says: “Poor?” Angelica says: “THAT, respectable person, than be mean, rotten, heartless, cruel, rich, AND MISERABLE person like YOU are!” Charlotte angrily says: “How DARE you?!” Captain Retro asks: “How dare she? How dare SHE?!!! How dare YOU?!!! Look at how much HORRIBLE treatment Angelica suffered this season, all because she did whatever you TOLD her to do in order to get that INSANE amount of money for you! She only did it because of YOU!”

Charlotte asks: “And your point is?” Captain Retro: “She STILL put herself through all of that abuse, even when she probably knew full-well it would NEVER be good enough for you, because YOUR standards are WAY too high and unrealistic!” Charlotte says: “I built this Nickelodeon network up from SCRATCH! It was NOTHING without me! Do you want it to become NOTHING AGAIN, is THAT what you WANT?!!!” Captain Retro says: “Charlotte, that is NEVER going to happen, even if you DID get your show back, so it doesn't really MATTER anymore, does it?! Reggie, you've still got ONE more song to sing, and if Charlotte is ANYTHING like her daughter WAS, than there's one band's music that SHOULD affect her more than any other band in the world!” Reggie says: “And I've got the perfect song for HER as well!” Blonda says: “You may have ruined MY reputation, but you're about to lose EVERYTHING, right NOW, CHARLOTTE!!!!” /

Genre: Rock and Roll. Sub-Genre: Heart (the band). Song: “Who Will You Run to?” Sung by: Cast, primarily Reggie Rocket, Captain Retro, Rocko, Angelica, and Snaptrap! / During this sequence, all of the former villains PELT Charlotte Pickles with tomatoes, slime, and REAL pickles, as well as take away all of HER money, priceless artworks, and fancy clothes and furniture!

/ Reggie: “You're not sure what you want to do with your life, but you sure don't want me in it. Yeah you're sure the life you're living with me, can't go on one single minute. And there's a new one waiting outside this door, and now's the time to begin it!” Captain Retro: “You found a new world, and you want to taste it! But that world can turn cold, and you better face it!” Cast: “Who will you run to when it all falls down?!” Angelica: “Who's gonna pick you world up off the ground?!” Cast: “Who's gonna take away the tears you cry?!” Snaptrap gives Angelica his OWN lab-coat: “Who's gonna love you baby as good as I?!” Angelica: “You won't know what it's like to live on your own, you've always had me there beside you.” Rocko: “You think it's easy finding someone out there, who's gonna care as much as I do.” Reggie: “What's gonna happen, baby, when you find out, that there's no one there to cry to?” Captain Retro: “You can tell the whole world, how you're gonna make it!” Angelica: “You can follow YOUR heart, but what you do when someone breaks it?!” Cast: “Who will you run to when it all falls down?!” Rocko: “Who's gonna pick you world up off the ground?!” Cast: “Who's gonna take away the tears you cry?!” Reggie: “Who's gonna love you baby as good as I?!” (Instrumental solo) Captain Retro: “You found a new world, and you want to taste it! But that world can turn cold, and you better face it!” Cast: “Who will you run to when it all falls down?!” Captain Retro: “Who's gonna pick your world up off the ground?!” Cast: “Who's gonna take away the tears you cry?!” Angelica: “Who's gonna love you baby as good as I?!” Cast: “Who will you run to when it all falls down?!” Snaptrap: “Who's gonna pick your world up off the ground?!” Cast: “Who's gonna take away the tears you cry?!” Angelica: “Who's gonna love you, baby, as good as I?!” / When the sequence ends, Charlotte SOMEHOW finds herself hanging precariously from the “H” of the “Hollywood” sign, badly bruised, battered, slimed, and covered in tomatoes, and she says: “How did I wind up here?!” Captain Retro says: “That's NOT important! Listen, I'm going to give you ONE last chance to redeem yourself! WHO is Angelica Pickles to YOU?! Don't make me get ROUGH with you!” Charlotte stammers, and she says: “Uh, she's my daughter!” Captain Retro: “Lie!” (SLAP!!!!) Charlotte says: “I'm her mother! (SLAP!!!!) She's my daughter! (SLAP!!!!) I'm her mother! (SLAP!!!!) She's my daughter! (SLAP!!!!) I'm her mother! (SLAP!!!!) SHE'S MY DAUGHTER AND I'M HER MOTHER!!!!” (SLAP!!!! SLAP!!!!)

Than at that moment, Charlotte Pickles LOSES her grip and bounces her way PAINFULLY down the Hollywood hill, all the way to the bottom! Otto asks: “Is she going to be all right?” Taotie says: “Forget about it! It's Hollywood town!” Reggie says: “Well, I guess that means I get the $44.44 million!” Sniz says: “Not yet! There IS one performer, so don't make any long term plans for that money just yet!” Rocko asks: “Are you CRAZY?! Reggie Rocket so OWNED today!”

Captain Retro says: “Come on! Let's give Patrick a CHANCE at this! It's the least we can do after all the nonsense we've been through today! Patrick, what's your assessment for your chance of winning today?” Patrick says: “Personally, I prefer to NEVER make assessments of anything until I've gone through them! I mean, Hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20, whatever THAT means!” Blonda says: “Sniz, Charlotte FORCED me to brainwash Skipper, Marlene, and Po into lip-syncing that Milli Vanilli song and humiliating them. If you're going to punish somebody, make it me, not THEM!!!!” Sniz sighs, and says: “So shines a good deed, in a weary world. Wanda?” Wanda says: “You've got it!” And she magically 'Poofs' Skipper, Marlene, and Po back to the Hollywood Bowl! Skipper asks: “What are WE doing back here?! We were about to see Johnathan!” Sniz says: “You don't need to do that! After Blonda confessed what she did, I am proud to say that, you WON third place!!!! You did it! You did it! I knew you would, I just KNEW you would! I'm sorry for that stunt I pulled with you earlier! Please forgive me! You won $42 million in cold hard cash!” And General Barracuda tosses them a suitcase filled with a bunch of greenbacks, amounting to $42 million! Marlene says: “Well, it's not the $44.44 million!” Skipper says: “But it's better than nothing! That's for sure! Maybe we can do our OWN game show, where we can come up with our OWN endings to things!” Marlene says: “Oh, PLEASE!!!! Like YOU could write a better show than this! I FEAR you are destined to fail!” Skipper says: “Don't tell me that you're STILL not confidant in me?!” Marlene playfully says: “Oh, don't pretend that you DON'T love the way I tease you!” Skipper sighs and says: “Well, it IS awfully hard to resist you when you're all CUTE like that!” (Confessional)

Skipper says: “Honestly, it's kind of sad and pathetic that I had to go up against PATRICK in this Final Three! I respect Reggie as a challenger, so I can handle losing to her! She's definitely earned her spot to be here, I'll give her THAT much! But Patrick? I've been trying to give it my ALL since Day One, than Mr. 'I'm WAY Too Stupid and Carefree to Care', suddenly wakes up, and decides to actually TRY and start winning challenges?! He may be smiling pretty now; but to paraphrase an old saying; 'The bigger the cone-head, the harder the fall'. Or, SOMETHING, like that!” (End Confessional) Patrick says: “As a matter of fact, I only have an idea for ONE song to sing, but it IS almost six minutes long, and will require a bassist in order to compensate. Larry, can you play the bass?” Larry says: “Somewhat. I've had a LITTLE bit of experience playing in Squidward's band, not to mention LAST season of THIS show during that Rock Lobster episode!” Patrick says: “Perfect! Now, here's hoping that we will rock you! Actually, it's Bohemian Rhapsody!” / Genre: Progressive Pop Rock. Sub-Genre: Queen (the band). Song: “Bohemian Rhapsody”. Sung by: Patrick, Spongebob, Pearl, and Larry! /

The sequence mirrors the original version of Queen's “Bohemian Rhapsody” music video perfectly, with Larry in Freddie Mercury's role, Spongebob in Roger Taylor's role, Pearl in Brian May's role, and Larry in John Deacon's role. / Patrick, Spongebob, and Pearl: “Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality. Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see.” Patrick: “I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy.” Patrick, Spongebob, and Pearl: “Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low.” Patrick: “Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me. Mama, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head; pulled my trigger, now he's dead. Mama, life had just begun, but now I've gone and thrown it all away! Mama, ooh! Didn't mean to make you cry, if I'm not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters! (Piano solo) Too late, my time has come! Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time! Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go! Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth! Mama, ooh!” Spongebob and Pearl: “Any way the wind blows.” Patrick: “I don't wanna die, I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all!” (Guitar solo) Patrick: “I see a little silhouetto of a man.” Spongebob and Pearl: “Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?” Patrick, Spongebob, Pearl, and Larry: “Thunderbolt and lightning, bery, very frightening me.!” Larry: “Galileo.” Patrick: “Galileo.” Larry: “Galileo.” Patrick: “Galileo. Galileo Figaro. Magnifico-o-o-o-o! I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me.” Spongebob, Pearl, and Larry: “He's just a poor boy from a poor family, spare him his life from this monstrosity!” Patrick: “Easy come, easy go, will you let me go? Bismillah! No, we will not let you go!” Spongebob, Pearl, and Larry: “Let him go!” Patrick: “Bismillah! We will not let you go!” Spongebob, Pearl, and Larry: “Let him go!” Patrick: “Bismillah! We will not let you go!” Spongebob, Pearl, and Larry: “Let me go!” Patrick: “Will not let you go!” Spongebob, Pearl, and Larry: “Let me go! Never let you go!” Patrick: “Never, never, never, never let me go! Oh, oh, oh, oh!” Patrick, Spongebob, Pearl, and Larry: “No, no, no, no, no, no, no!” Patrick: “Oh, mama mia, mama mia!” Spongebob, Pearl, and Larry: “Mama mia, let me go! Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me!” (Guitar solo). Patrick: “So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?! So you think you can love me and leave me to die?! Oh, baby! Can't do this to me, baby! Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here! (Guitar solo). Spongebob, Pearl, and Larry: “Ooooh, ooh yeah, ooh yeah!” (Guitar solo starts to fade). Patrick: “Nothing really matters. Anyone can see. Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me.” (Guitar and piano quiet down to a whisper). Patrick: “Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. Any way, any way the wind blows!” (Gong!) /

And the crowd just goes absolutely WILD, leaving Skipper, Marlene, Reggie, and Rocko COMPLETELY flabbergasted! (Confessional) Skipper asks: “WHAT...just happened?” / Marlene: “WHAT just happened?!” / Rocko: “What just HAPPENED?!” / Reggie: “What JUST happened?! All season long, Patrick was NOTHING, and he completely shoots by the REST of us when we're not LOOKING?! Has this ENTIRE season just been one REALLY long version of the story of The Tortoise and the Hare?! Because if it is, someone REALLY should have told me that I was the Hare!” / Captain Retro: “I admit, this was a shocker. Even I'M shocked, and I KNEW how it would turn out! Well, maybe not ALL the time, but I figured it out pretty CLOSE to BEFORE it happened!” (End Confessional) Sniz says: It seems that the audience has spoken! Patrick, you are the WINNER of Total Cartoon Global Cruise!” Patrick says: “Say, Sniz?” Sniz says: “If you don't mind, would you give the title and money to Reggie?” General Barracuda says: “WHAT?! But, WHY?!” Patrick says: “All season long, I just wanted to prove something. Prove that I had what it takes to be somebody, to be taken seriously. To not be judged for what I do on my friend's show, and to be judged on my own merits. I stumbled and faltered more than I wanted to, but, when all is said and done, I realize that I never had anything to prove, because it was with me all along. So, I'd rather give the title and the money to someone who REALLY worked for it all season long. Reggie, you wanted the title and the money more than anyone else this season, and I know you'll keep your word!”

Reggie says: “Patrick, are you SURE you want to this? I mean, this could be your last CHANCE to win a season of this show!” Patrick says: “Which means its my last chance to give YOU, your first chance! Besides, what would a guy like ME do with $44.44 million anyways? I'm not going to change the world, not the way that you can. Besides, strangers would just hit me up for money, and Squidward would NEVER leave me alone, and try to become a FALSE friend to me, just based on my cash, not for who I am! So, if it's all right with YOU Sniz, I'm perfectly content with taking second place, and taking the $43 million in prize money!” Sniz says: “Very well! Reggie, since Patrick requested it, the title goes to you, and the $44.44 million gets split up evenly between you, and Treeflower, Craig, Sanjay, Globitha, Robot, Tigress, Daggett, Norbert, Po, Dog, Stimpy, Marlene, Wally, Rocko, Captain Retro, and Suzie! $2,777,500 for each of you!” Rocko says: “Congratulations, Reggie! You did it! You became the champion for season three!” Daggett says: “Even if its only because of a technicality!” Norbert says: “Hey! A win is a win!” Stimpy says: “And as Mr. Horse would like to say; 'Never look a gift win in the mouth!' Or, something, like that!” Reggie says: “I couldn't have done it without all of you! This win is just as much mine as it is yours!”

At the bottom of the hill, where the Hollywood Sign, is located, Charlotte Pickles wearily gets up, and she says: “Wait a minute! So do I GET MY $44.44 MILLION or NOT?!” And as if to give her an honest answer, the BACK of the Hollywood Hill suddenly causes a landslide, heading RIGHT for her, but the camera CUTS before we can see if it buries her alive or not! / Epilogue: As the cast-mates all go their separate ways, back to their own shows, Captain Retro reflects on all the journeys experienced within season three of the show. Genre: Soft Rock. Sub-Genre: The Eagles (the band). Song: “Love Will Keep Us Alive.” Sung by: Captain Retro! / Captain Retro: “I was standing, all alone against the world outside. You were searching for a place to hide. Lost and lonely, now you've given me the will to survive. When we're hungry, love will keep us alive. Don't you worry, sometimes you've just gotta let it ride. The world is changing, right before your eyes. Now I've found you, there's no more emptiness inside. When we're hungry, love will keep us alive. I would die for you. Climb the highest mountain. Baby, there's nothing I wouldn't do. Now I've found you. There's no more emptiness inside. When we're hungry, love will keep us alive. (Guitar solo) I would die for you, climb the highest mountain. Baby, there's nothing I wouldn't do. I was standing all alone against the world outside. You were searching, for a place to hide. Lost and lonely, now you've given me the will to survive. When we're hungry, love will keep us alive. When we're hungry, love will keep us alive. When we're hungry, love will keep us alive.” /

Episode Notes: Patrick technically wins “Total Cartoon Global Cruise,” but he decides to give the title and money to Reggie Rocket, for his own personal reasons, content with taking second place. It is revealed in this episode that both Charlotte AND Drew Pickles are the major reason for why Angelica Pickles has been acting so HORRIBLE all of her life, and Charlotte even HIJACKS Angelica's plan to sabotage the contestants, proving to be FAR more diabolic than Angelica could ever HOPE to be! Angelica officially makes a Heel-Face Turn in this episode, after Charlotte unintentionally humiliates her in front of a universal television audience. The Heart song curse shifts accordingly, to affect Charlotte Pickles instead. Blonda takes responsibility for all her past misdeeds, and manages to get Skipper third place and the $42 million after all. Includes references to Milli Vanilli's lip-synching incident, Janet Jackson's Wardrobe Malfunction, “China Town, Toy Story 2, The Great Mouse Detective,” and “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.” Featured songs in this episode, are “Shattered” (Also the episode title), “Thunderstruck; Pinball Wizard; Cold As Ice; Girl, You Know It's True” (Unfinished, intentionally, because the record player was SUPPOSED to skip); “Welcome to the Jungle, I Could Give You a Mirror, The Pleasure Principle” (Unfinished, due to Angelica Pickles intercepting her mother's attempt to sabotage Reggie Rocket); “Who Will You Run to; Bohemian Rhapsody; The Best;” and “Love Will Keep Us Alive.”

Personal Notes: This episode, for obvious reasons, was hit by a case of “Real Life Writes the Plot.” Most notably, the untimely passing of Stephen Hillenburg affected my decision. My original plan WAS to have three separate endings, giving each contestant the opportunity to win, but I felt that Stephen Hillenburg, having been the creator of “Spongebob Squarepants,” and a major contributing factor to why I started writing the “Total Cartoon” series, I felt it was only fair to make a fitting tribute in his honor. Therefore, I decided to let Patrick be the TECHNICAL winner of “Total Cartoon Global Cruise”, but decide to give it to Reggie; therefore, effectively combining two of my endings for the price of one. And it really regrets me to say that I was NEVER able to, and probably never WILL be able to write a convincingly good storyline for Skipper, no matter how much I TRY! And believe me, I truly DID try! Hopefully, now that this season is over, I can focus on other aspects. There are other stories that I want to write right now. But don't worry! The “Total Cartoon” series isn't finished yet! Not by a LONG shot! “Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back” will premiere sometime in 2019! I'll see you then! Enough said, true believers!

[Hayden]

On 12/6/2018 at 5:10 AM, 4EverGreen said:

The “Total Cartoon” series isn't finished yet! Not by a LONG shot! “Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back” will premiere sometime in 2019!

[Hayden]

On 12/6/2018 at 5:10 AM, 4EverGreen said:

And it really regrets me to say that I was NEVER able to, and probably never WILL be able to write a convincingly good storyline for Skipper, no matter how much I TRY! And believe me, I truly DID try! 

[4EverGreen]

1 hour ago, Hayden said:

If it makes you feel better, I know that at least three of the characters appearing in "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back", will be Rico, Kowalski, and Private from "The Penguins of Madagascar", and at least one of them will make it past the team merge, and possibly all the way to the end!  I'll post more when I've got my character list for the first part of season four finalized!