[Favorite Nintendo Series?]

wario

[SBC What If's]

I can't believe it. They're really gone...my boys! SMILING FRIENDS IS OVER!!!!!!

 

*sniff* I'm sorry. It's just that I loved this show so much, and I didn't expect it to end so soon. Watching new episodes while chatting with the rest of SBC was always a highlight of my day, and now it seems like we won't have many more chances to do that. I could sit here and mope for hours, but I think the show that's all about spreading positivity to the world deserves better than that. And either way, I think we could all use a pick-me-up right now. So to honor the legacy of the show that brought us all so much joy, here's a What If episode dedicated to its memory. To all my fellow smiling friends...this one's for you.

Episode 45: What If...Roy Dismey Joined SBC?

It started out like any other day on the forums (in other words, things were pretty dead), but all that would change when a new member joins...

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[A new thread titled "hello im roy dismey" is created.]

roydi$mey1643: hello im roy dismey hello im roy dismey thank you for having me thank you for having me

jjs: Welcome to SBC! I bring you gree-

roydi$mey1643: uhh because i was just uh i was over there for a second and uh googly goo and uhhh thank you thank you again for having me uh thank you

Zaid: is this guy okay

roydi$mey1643: ok yeah i was thinking i wanted to tell you uhhhhhh ok goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye

dman: love you roy, cya round

[45 minutes pass.]

dman: wait wtf happened to all my doubloons? i had 500k before and now i have none

EDIT: and so does almost everyone else on the site??

jjs: It appears to be a forum-wide issue, but I don't have a single clue on what exactly caused this.

Salmon: I saw Roy Dismey do it when he bumped into you before he left.

dman: you saw that happen? why didn't you say anything???

Salmon: I'm on a break from SBC. I'm not even here right now. You must be hallucina-ting. *disintegrates*

jjs: I suppose that explains why their account has over 2 billion doubloons. Wait, this number looks...familiar...

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Upon further inspection, jjs realizes that Roy's total of 2,147,483,648 doubloons perfectly matches the amount of doubloons that SB&P donated/lost during his 2017 King Neptune reign. Coincidence? HELL NO!!! After Zaid speeds out of SBC and manages to catch Roy on the streets, he reveals (through barely coherent speech) that SB&P contracted him to steal SBC's doubloons because "he uh was just kookidy crazy over the uhhh the getting banned and thank you". And so, a few SBC members decide to head to Rochester, New York to sort things out.

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[The group of SBCers break open the back door to SB&P's house and are shocked to find him standing there and staring at them, completely motionless. It's almost as if he's been expecting them...]

SB&P: Welcome, old friends! So, this is my basement-

jjs: Enough of your quotable moments; return SBC's doubloons immediately or I'm going to get Danny DeVito involved in this.

SB&P: That wouldn't be right, though! I donated those doubloons by accident, so it's only fair that you give them back to me!

jjs: We did give them back to you.

SB&P: Well, I can't check since I'm a Nematode...and besides, I should have the most of something! Ever since I got banished, I haven't been able to check how many posts I've liked!

JCM: *runs the numbers* You've sent 43,862 reactions, second only to that bot who appeared three minutes ago.

SB&P: So, then, I deserve these doubloons! It's the only thing that I can be first at!

sbl: He leaves us no choice. Send em, everyone!

[Carotte, Jaic, Winter, Mythix, OBAB, Cake, Prez, WhoBob, Appy, and countless others shower SB&P with eggplant reactions. He lets out a scream of agony before he suddenly becomes an eggplant himself.]

roydi$mey1643: thank you uhhhh all have something for me um roy dismey ?

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After retrieving and properly dispersing their doubloons, SBC gives Roy Dismey the giant eggplant as a thank you for leading them to SB&P's house. Ultimately, Roy never bothers the forums ever again, and instead moves out to Turkey to start a new life. Although SBC remains upset over the upcoming end of Smiling Friends, they find solace in knowing that one of the show's characters helped to finally take down the site's most infamous stalker/eggplant. It would go on to be one of the most notable things to happen on SBC in 2026, only surpassed by the "Shmaloogles" incident of September 21st. But that's a story for another day...

[Arcade Anarchy V]

i wanna be Mr. Pants from the 2004 Game Boy Advance classic It's Mr. Pants

[Xavier: Renegade Angel]

 

[milk drinkers unite]

[DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence (Success!)]

Happy 2026! It looks like I'm starting the new year by finally ending a long-time project of mine...

Well, it's been quite the ride. After talking about 57 different shows to come out of Cartoon Network, I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. There may have been a few downs in this thread, but there were way more ups, and that's what I'm going to be celebrating today. To close out this thread (and as a birthday gift to myself), I'm going to revisit my ten favorite shows that I've talked about over the past seven years. These are the very kinds of cartoons that made me want to do this thread in the first place, and whether I've known them since childhood or only got around to them recently, each one of them holds a special place in my heart. So let's quit dawdling and go out on a high note! Here's the ACTUAL best of what "the best place for cartoons" can deliver! 

 

DMAN's top 10 BEST Cartoon Network originals

Spoiler

10. Adventure Time
I mean, come on. This show almost singlehandedly saved the network from the CN Real era and defined a decade of animation; it better be damn good. And it is! Its humor, atmosphere, and overarching story were all well done, allowing the show to become one of the longest-running on the channel. That said, I don't think it's perfect. This show lost my attention around season 6, and upon further watching there may have been good reason for that. But that early stretch along with the last few seasons are still more than enough to make the whole thing worth it. Put all these elements together, and you'll find there's a very clear reason for why this show stuck around as long as it did. 

Spoiler

9. Ed, Edd n Eddy
Speaking of long-runners, let's take another look at one of the funniest shows to come out of CN! I tend to not be a fan of "meaner" shows, but this is a rare case where that formula actually works. How, you say? Because, Kanker sisters excluded, no character has the upper hand over any other. Every character who acts like a jerk eventually gets what their karma owes them, and by the end of most episodes the playing field has been leveled. Sure, some moments are a bit too cruel for me, and not every episode ends in the best way, but this show's comedic sense is so strong that I don't even mind at that point. Absolutely one of the best things to come out of early CN, even if I'd never show it to my theoretical children.

Also, this show ended up at #9 in both the overall and best lists. There's a funny coincidence for ya!

Spoiler

8. The Amazing World of Gumball
I guess I was alluding to this one in my last post. Whatever, you shouldn't be surprised at this show being on here. It's an extremely creative and imaginative show, both literally and visually. Not only that, it's really funny. Whether it's old, new, well or poorly aged, this show will take anything and poke fun at it. On top of that, the Wattersons are a delight to follow, dysfunctional as they may be. I'm glad this one came back in recent years so it can finally get the conclusive ending it deserves. Hopefully it sticks the landing this time!

Spoiler

 

7. Class of 3000
And now for what might be the most unexpected entry on this list! This show hit me like a TRUCK when I watched it for this thread. I had heard good things about it, but what I didn't expect was for it to be one of the coolest shows to come out of the network. Its unique visual style is one thing, but the consistent delivery of earworms through its music is another. It is André 3000's cartoon after all, so it makes perfect sense that the songs are this good. And on top of all that, it still manages to be hilarious. It's a shame that this one went so soon, and it's also a shame that no other CN show will ever replicate this one's specific brand of awesome. I'm still happy with what we got though, and "Philly Phil Come Home" will continue to never leave my head. 

Spoiler

6. Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends
Apparently, people started hating on this show when I wasn't looking. How is that even possible? Then again, it has been years since I've seen this one, so I gave some episodes rewatches and...nah, I still love this one. I understand that a lot of people don't jive with Bloo's character, but just like in EEnE, 95% of the time he gets some pushback for his actions. He's a jerk, but the show isn't trying to hide it. Even discounting that, the rest of the cast is fun to watch and I love seeing the antics they all get into. Along with that, it's one of the only shows I've ever seen successfully execute repetitive humor, thanks in part to the visuals. And at the end of the day, in terms of evoking that childlike sense of wonder, nothing beats this one! Also Destination Imagination still slaps; I could watch that one for weeks on end. 

Spoiler

5. Courage the Cowardly Dog
Out of all the original Cartoon Cartoons, this one has to be my favorite. And you want to know the crazy part? I have no childhood nostalgia for this one, because I wasn't allowed to watch it! I mean it makes sense, this is partly a horror show after all, but now you know I'm not biased when I say this show is amazing. All the horror elements are well done of course, but one thing I didn't expect out of this show was for it to be one of the most heartfelt in the bunch. Inbetween all the scares, there are a lot of touching moments in this one. For every terrifying episode like King Ramses' Curse or The House of Discontent, there are episodes like The Mask or Last of the Starmakers which are packed with such raw emotion. Don't miss out on this one like I did. It might not have been my choice, but still.

Spoiler

4. Sym-Bionic Titan
This show deserved so much better than what it got. Everyone already knows this, but I had to restate it because it bears repeating. For 20 episodes, we had one of the most gripping and interesting stories ever put into a cartoon, and then it just disappeared. It really is the greatest tragedy in the network's history that we didn't get more, because this show excelled at almost everything it did. The action scenes are spectacular, the characters are multidimensional (sometimes literally), the visuals are a treat for the eyes, and there's even a touch of humor for good measure. Not every cartoon needs a toy license, especially not one that's as mature as this one, dammit. Overall a fantastic show. It may be in vain, but I'm still holding on to the hope that we'll get to see it again someday. 

Spoiler

3. Regular Show
Yep, this one gets the honor of being my favorite of the big three CN shows from the early 2010s. Adventure Time and Gumball may have been great, but Regular Show is the only one that I stuck around with for virtually its entire run. When you have a show that's this funny, relatable, and completely off-the-wall, it's no wonder that I got so much mileage out of it. Not only that, the show introduces some plot elements later on and they all manage to fit in! Even with its miniscule dips in quality, I still love this one all the way through. There's even an argument to be made that this has one of the most iconic finales out of any show on the network, if not animation in general. And when the rest of the show is just as great, it's not hard to see why I put it this high up. YEA-YUH!!!

Spoiler

2. Samurai Jack
If you told me this was your favorite show of all time, I wouldn't even bat an eye. Like I said, Sym-Bionic Titan is fantastic, but this is Genndy Tartakovsky's true masterwork. No other show on this list reaches a level of pure artistry like this one does. Its visuals are breathtaking, its worldbuilding is immaculate, and the show has a great respect for its audience. It's crazy to think that a show like this even aired on CN at all, but it did. Though I'm pretty sure even the network knew how special this one was, because it wasn't labelled as a Cartoon Cartoon despite airing during the period when those were still being made. No, this was something else, and they knew damn well it was. I know the "ANIMATION IS CINEMA" mindset is poked at a lot nowadays, but in this case it's true. It is, without a doubt, the best original property that CN ever put out.

But if I'm being honest, in my heart of hearts I must admit there's still one show I love more.

Spoiler

1. Chowder
Okay, look. Samurai Jack may just be the greatest cartoon to ever exist, but Chowder is my favorite cartoon of all time. If it didn't end up topping this list, I'd be lying to myself. I loved this show when I was a kid, and I still love it today. It may not be highbrow or mature, but it perfected the one thing I care about most in animation: the funny. This show never fails to make me laugh, let alone put a dumb smile on my face. It even beats out SpongeBob in that regard! Not to mention, the artstyle of this show is really cool. Everything from the static clothing patterns, to the stop motion animation, and even the puppets, all fit right in to the vibe of the show. And oh my god, the fourth wall breaks. It's the most well-known aspect of the show for a reason, being that they're all amazing. The fact that they got the actual voice actors to hold a car wash to raise enough money for their respective cartoon counterparts...tells you all you need to know, really. I could go on and on about this one, so if you want more blabbering from me, just check out my post on in earlier in this thread. For always bringing me joy whenever I need it the most, Chowder is my favorite show that has ever been made. You don't know what you're missing.

 

And...for real this time...that's everything! I want to say thanks to everyone who joined me for this entire thread, even with the years-long gap inbetween. It's been one heck of a ride, but now with it looking like my life is finally about to get back on track, it's the perfect time for these talk-abouts to come to an end. I've talked about some of the best things I've ever seen, some of the worst, and even discovered a few hidden gems. Even in its more milquetoast moments, writing for this project has been a ton of fun. I don't know if I'll ever do something like this again in the future, but if I do you can bet it'll be right here on SBC. Alright, I think that's all I have to say. Good night, and check ya later. 

 

Thank you for sticking with us for all these years. Up next, King of the Hill!

 

THE FULL RANKING:

Spoiler

1. Chowder (10)
2. Samurai Jack (9+)
3. Regular Show (9)
4. Sym-Bionic Titan (9)
5. Courage the Cowardly Dog (9)
6. Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends (9)
7. Class of 3000 (9-)
8. The Amazing World of Gumball (8+)
9. Ed, Edd n Eddy (8+)
10. Adventure Time (8+)
11. The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack (8+)
12. Megas XLR (8+)
13. Ben 10 (2005) (8+)
14. The Powerpuff Girls (1998) (8)
15. Codename: Kids Next Door (8)
16. Johnny Bravo (8)
17. Dexter's Laboratory (8)
18. Space Ghost Coast to Coast (8)
19. Whatever Happened to... Robot Jones? (8)
20. Sheep in the Big City (8)
21. Robotomy (8)
22. The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy (8-)
23. Clarence (8-)
24. We Bare Bears (8-)
25. Time Squad (8-)
26. The Secret Saturdays (7+)
27. Camp Lazlo (7+)
28. Cow and Chicken (7+)
29. I Am Weasel (7+)
30. Craig of the Creek (7+)
31. Grim & Evil (7+)
32. Star Wars: The Clone Wars (7)
33. Steven Universe (7)
34. The Life and Times of Juniper Lee (7)
35. Generator Rex (7)
36/37/38. Ben 10: Alien Force/Ultimate Alien/Omniverse (7)
39. What a Cartoon! (7)
40. Apple & Onion (7)
41. Mixels (7)
42. Transformers: Animated (7-)
43. OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes (6+)
44. Evil Con Carne (6+)
45. Sunday Pants (6)
46. The Moxy Show (6)
47. Uncle Grandpa (6-)
48. Summer Camp Island (5+)
49. Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi (5)
50. Mighty Magiswords (5-)
51. My Gym Partner's a Monkey (4)
52. Mike, Lu & Og (4)
53. Secret Mountain Fort Awesome (3+)
54. Squirrel Boy (3)
55. Ben 10 (2016) (2+)
56. The Powerpuff Girls (2016) (2)
57. The Problem Solverz (1)

[DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence (Success!)]

Merry (late) Christmas! This seems like the right time to post this, don't you agree?

It's been an interesting year for many reasons, but regarding my side of things...yeah, there's still many reasons for interest there, too. Though if there's one thing I especially didn't see myself doing, it was spontaneously reviving this dead thread where I talked about some of my favorite cartoons growing up, plus a bunch of other shows. Unfortunately for me, I will not be covering the good parts today. I know how much people get a kick out of complaining about media (not to mention seeing others do it), so that's exactly what I'm going to deliver! This is your gift, SBC! Are you ready to see the worst of what "the best place for cartoons" has to offer? If not, then...I guess you can just close the tab now? But if you are ready, let our journey down (unwanted) memory lane begin!

 

DMAN's top 10 WORST Cartoon Network originals

Spoiler

10. Summer Camp Island
Well...this is an odd place to start. I should clarify: even though this list is a bottom 10, I don't think every show here is bad. CN's selection is so consistent to me that there's only a handful of shows that can truly reach that tier, and entries 10, 9, and 8 on this list are shows that I had mixed opinions on, and they were just unlucky enough to end up on the list. Case in point, this show. I like the concept, I like Oscar as a character, but I just can't get down with the setting involving the living, breathing...well, everything. Also, and I didn't mention this the first time, I'm not huge on the art style of this show. It feels overly soft and gave me the feeling that I was too old to be watching this, and to be completely fair, I am. The camp was worth a shot, but I'll be fine if I never come back.

Spoiler

9. Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi
And here's a show that went in one ear and out the other, leaving no strong impression whatsoever. I had almost nothing to say in the talk-about, and that hasn't really changed here. There's nothing screamingly awful about it and it delivers the occasional funny joke, but it's also visually uninspired, reeks of self-promotion, and was a bit too dull for my taste. That said, it's still saved from being the most boring show in the bottom 10. We'll get there when we get there...

Spoiler

8. Mighty Magiswords
Unlike the previous entry, I definitely can't say that this one bores me. How can I be bored when I'm constantly being bombarded with some new shiny thing or gag happening onscreen? This has to take the cake as CN's most overstimulating show, and I am not a fan. I love good comedy as much as the next guy, but as someone on the spectrum you can only throw so much at me at once before my brain clocks out. Even then, I wouldn't exactly call this good comedy (it's decent at best), but it still fares better than some shows later on this list...

Spoiler

7. My Gym Partner's a Monkey
Now we've arrived at the most recent show I talked about. We've also made it to properly bad terrritory. Considering how much I loved this one as a kid, revisiting it was shocking to say the least. It's not the worst thing ever (there are six more spots, after all), but this has to be the one that stings the most. I can't say I'm surprised though; a show this stupid and immature would've been right up the child me's alley. I do think that mid-2000s CN gets a bit too much of a bad rap, but if the people who are criticizing that period have this show specifically on their mind, I can't blame them. I'd also give them the pass if they were thinking of a certain other show from around this time, which we'll undoubtedly be seeing soon. 

Spoiler

6. Mike, Lu & Og

Ah yes, the most boring show to ever exist. It's not the kind of thing that will annoy you or make you angry, but it will make you wonder why you're not spending your time watching something better (or watching a Klasky-Csupo show for that matter, which this show was clearly trying to emulate the style of). It's so pointless that I don't even want to spend more time talking about it. Just remember this: if you ever have insomnia, watch this show. It's the perfect cure for that and literally nothing else.

Spoiler

5. Secret Mountain Fort Awesome
Oddly enough, out of all the shows on this list, this is the one I'd most recommend you watch. It's on such a level of insane, surreal, and grotesque that has to be seen to be believed. Even if all the grossout humor wasn't my thing, there isn't very much here for me to appreciate otherwise. The artstyle is too unappealing, the jokes don't hit enough, the characters (well, maybe just Festro) are a bit too unlikeable, etc. Put it all together, and you get a show that I, personally, really don't like. But there's got to be people out there that get more out of this than I do, hence why I say you should watch it, even if ironically.

Spoiler

4. Squirrel Boy
Now, let's talk about a show with almost zero redeeming qualities! Even though this show managed to come out around the same time as the aforementioned MGPaM (a show that I was addicted to, mind you), I barely watched this one at all. And neither did anyone else it seems, because its run ended by the next year after it began airing. Good news, all we lost out on was one of the most annoying CN shows ever. Rodney sucks, Andy isn't much better, and there's still one giant flaw: this show isn't funny. By GOD, it isn't funny. If you're a comedy show and you can't even have good jokes, then you deserve to be off the air within a year, which is exactly what this show got. The only saving grace I can think of for this one is that it didn't ruin a property I was already fond of...

Spoiler

3. Ben 10 (2016)
...oh no. It looks like we're at this point in the list now. As you may have seen throughout this thread, I have a rather complicated history with the Ben 10 franchise. I loved the original, but my attention trailed off more and more with every following series, bottoming out at this show. I didn't even give this one a chance back in the day; the visuals combined with the internet's reaction were all I needed to know it was shit. And surprise, after a more in-depth viewing that impression didn't change. Giving a dramatic action show a comedic element is one thing, making it completely juvenile is another. If it were a choice between this and Teen Titans Go, I'd take TTG in a femtosecond. I hate this show both as a concept and as what it stands for. And yet, it is possible to sink even further from here...

Spoiler

2. The Powerpuff Girls (2016)
This and the previous entry are of a very similar breed, but this one gets the edge for a few reasons. One, this show is screamingly bad. Even though I only watched it on television once, I constantly heard about the most recent controversial thing surrounding it throughout the years it was airing. The fact that the Jared Shapiro incident even happened at all is unbelievable...and disgusting. Two, and this is a lot more personally relevant, this is the show that made me give up on CN. Other shows that debuted after it might've been good, but I care about them a lot less than the shows that aired before this one because it was just that bad. Not to mention that covering this show in this very thread killed off a lot of my motivation to continue. God, I hate it so much. How do you even get worse than this? I mean, the only way that's possible is if you make a show that tries to physically harm its audience...look, if the #1 spot isn't obvious at this point I don't know what to tell you.

Spoiler

1. The Problem Solverz
I didn't even rewatch this one for a screenshot. This show doesn't deserve it. In fact, I don't even think it deserves to be mentioned alongside every other show on this list, let alone this thread. Any show that causes headaches just by looking at it should not be on television AT ALL, and yet this one got five whole months in. Supposedly, no one had an epileptic fit connected to this show, which is a goddamn miracle if true. But even if I ignore all the flashing colors and consant movement happening onscreen, this show is still fucking horrible and deserving of the #1 spot. The comedy sucks, the characters suck, the writing sucks, the concept sucks, it is one of those rare perfect storms where everything about it sucks. I knew that this was bad even when I was a kid, and that sentiment has only gotten stronger with time. It is, without exaggeration, one of the worst things I've ever seen. And now that this list is over, I never have to think about it again. DO. NOT. WATCH.

 

Thank Old Man Patrick that's over with. Good news, CN has a lot more good shows than bad ones! Bad news, that's going to make it a lot harder to narrow down the shows that will be on the best list. Can't wait to see which ones are going to make it? Neither can I! You can expect the list to come out not long after the start of 2026. Oh yeah, and I'm also going to put the full show ranking in that post too. How exciting! In the meantime, I'm going to binge more of the new Gumball episodes that came out, which is definitely not a way of hinting towards one show that will make it on the list!

 

Stay tuned for the best list. The end is upon us!

[Izzy/Maniac talks about every Studio Ghibli movie in existence]

And with that, you've already talked about 2 of the 3 Ghibli movies I've watched lol. I wonder how many spins it'll take before we get to the last one...

[What did you get for Christmas? (2025 edition)]

including but not limited to:

• three shirts, one with the word "eggnog"
• two calendars
• two puzzle games
• math clock
• depeche mode poster
• 6x6 rubik's cube mosaic maker
• gift card to five guys
• warm blanket
• enough licorice jelly beans that it'll take me a month to eat them
• soap

[DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence (Success!)]

Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", dman talked about the show with the cow and the chicken. Today, things come to an end as he talks about the show with the boy, the monkey, and several other animals that I'm too lazy to mention. 

 

 

Well, looks like we've finally arrived at the last show on the list! And it's none other than...

#27: My Gym Partner's a Monkey "Inoculation Day"

[December 26, 2005]

 

This show premiered just one day after Christmas, huh? That's fitting for the time of year we're currently in. Oh God, this show's almost 20 years old...sorry, where was I? Right, the show about animals going to school. My brother and I watched this one a TON back in the day, and I remember holding it in similar high regard as I did with Camp Lazlo. I played the flash platformer game dozens of times, I knew all the words to Animal School Musical, for a good while "PRETTY PRETTY SHINY SHINY" was in constant use of my everyday speech, I could go on with this one. That all said, it's been years since I've even touched this show and, I'll be honest, this is the show I'm the most worried about revisiting in this entire thread. Almost no one brings up this one nowadays, and if they do it's practically always in a negative light. So, will my childhood obsession win out, or will this gym partner be a total bust? Let's change our last names to Lion and find out for ourselves.

The episode starts with a wide selection of animal students on a bus (sounds familiar, doesn't it?), but we specifically focus on Jake Spidermonkey (it's fitting that Tom Kenny gets one last appearance here) and Adam Lyon. Jake spends the whole bus ride being annoying, leading Adam to say that he's glad he's not a monkey, a statement that certainly isn't foreshadowing anything! The bus then arrives at Charles Darwin Middle School, where Principal Pixiefrog announces that it's inoculation day, AKA the day where every student gets their mandatory vaccination shot. While Nurse Gazelle is shooting down various students in the halls with a blowgun, Jake expresses his great fear of getting shots, right before he is caught in the crosshairs of the blowgun himself. As Jake tries to run away, Gazelle sets the blowgun into hi-tech mode. However, since Adam gets in the way, she accidentally ends up hitting him with the blowdart instead of Jake. Jake then goes on about how glad he is that he didn't get hit, but it doesn't matter anyway, because while he's rambling Pixefrog secretly gives him his shot and he doesn't feel a thing. No, the real problem here is that the monkey booster that Adam got is likely to cause an adverse reaction in humans, and surprise, that's exactly what happens. Adam feels itchy, he craves bananas, he swings on a vine, and before we know it he's fully turned into a monkey. Realizing the potential consequences of this situation, Pixiefrog gathers the school faculty to brainstorm ways to turn Adam back into a human. It's then that Gazelle reveals she has an antidote for the booster, which she hasn't revealed until now due to her tiny peanut brain. Anyway, they all trust Jake to lead them to Adam...after he walks them in circles around the same school block for hours, of course. Jake finally leads them into the restroom where, sure enough, Adam appears as apparently all monkeys feel the constant need to desire their butts in the mirror. Before Gazelle can shoot him, another problem arises: due to her miniscule brain, she can't distinguish between Adam and his mirror reflection, and she ends up shooting the mirror. As the faculty tries to run away, Adam picks up Pixiefrog, runs outside, and starts climbing Ingrid Giraffe's neck King Kong style. While Jake climbs her neck in an attempt to put a stop to this, some protestors from the rights group B.A.A.A. (Because All Animals Are Amazing...yes I know that's four A's just go with it) show up and are horrified by the scene. Gazelle gets ready to aim another shot, but due to Jake making his way up, she once again cannot distinguish the two monkeys from each other. She gets it wrong again, but Jake is able to deflect the antidote with his tail and send it into Adam instead. Adam is cured, Pixiefrog is set free, the protestors go for a burger, and Jake makes various butt jokes to everyone's unamusement, including mine. The end.

Well, if the ending of that summary didn't give it away, this show hasn't aged well in my eyes. Like, at all. I'll start with the good: the joke about the school's insurance and the jab at PETA were both mildly funny, and the animation isn't bad by mid-2000s standards. And...that's it. Everything else here is either mediocre, or painful to watch. The biggest problem by far is Jake; a character who is annoying, brainless, unfunny, and has zero redeeming qualities whatsoever. It's unfortunate, but Tom Kenny's final appearance in this thread is by far his worst. Speaking of unfunny, that's how every joke in this show lands other than the very few I mentioned above. It gives me the same vibe as Squirrel Boy, although this show still has a leg up because a few funny gags are better than none! Man, I can't believe I liked this one as a kid...actually, yes I can. From the perspective of five-year old me, a show that's this shit would be my shit. One last thing I want to mention- the editing of the background music is bizarre. Songs will not fit the mood at all, some will just suddenly cut at random points, hell, when the episode ends the music that's playing just fades out with NO sense of conclusivity. It doesn't really affect the show itself, but it's too strange for me to not mention. Before I wrap this talk-about up, I want to stress that I don't think that this show is terrible. Whenever Jake is not on screen, it's just a mediocre show. But the mediocre parts aren't what stick out, especially when Jake is one of two main characters. Even this show featuring giraffe and snake students can't put it in my good graces. What a shame.

 

THE BOTTOM LINE: I learned something important today at animal school: not everything I enjoyed as a kid will hold up with time.

RATING: 4/10 (not good)

 

And...that's everything! After seven years, I have finally talked about EVERY SINGLE CN ORIGINAL IN EXISTENCE (before 2018)! However, I feel unsatisfied going out on a sour note like this, so now is the time where I reveal that I'm not fully done with this thread yet. You see, I haven't been giving all of these shows ratings for no reason. Over the next few days, I'm going to find out how all these toons stack up against each other. Then I'll make a post revisiting the worst 10, and then one more post going over the best 10 along with revealing the full ranking. That way, this thread can end in a more positive fashion. But before we get to that point, we have to go through hell. Will you join me in seeing the worst of what CN has to offer? Because I can't bear to do this alone...

 

Stay tuned for the worst list. I'm betting the show dman just talked about will make an appearance!

[DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence (Success!)]

Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", dman talked about the most unappealingly unhinged show the network ever put out. Today's show is also unhinged, but nowhere near as unappealing. Will dman end up liking it more?

 

 

#06: Cow and Chicken "Field Trip to Folsom Prison"

[July 15, 1997]

 

For our penultimate talk-about, it looks like we're looking at one of the most out there shows to come out of early Cartoon Network. In fact, you could make an argument that Cow and Chicken is the most 90s CN show there is, and that's not just because it didn't make it to the turn of the millennium. We'll get to that discussion in a bit. Anyways, what is my experience with this show? As I alluded to in my I Am Weasel post, there's barely anything there. I definitely saw it on Boomerang one time, but I don't even remember what the episode was about, whereas I clearly remember the Weasel episode I watched being the body swap one. Technically I do remember an episode of this show (this one), but that's only because I covered this on the SBM thread before it hit the shitter. But it never hurts to fully refresh my memory!

The episode starts with Cow, Chicken, and the rest of their classmates on a bus to the infamous Folsom Prison. Though Chicken initially starts the ride sitting next to Cow, he quickly tires of her and sits with humans Flem and Earl to get hyped for the visit. Once they reach the prison yard, Chicken steals a jumpsuit and starts acting like one of the prisoners. But right afterwards, the prisoners (along with Chicken) are sent back inside, leaving one stray prisoner with the opportunity to pose as Chicken and escape. Luckily for the prisoner (Red), no one catches on to the fact that he isn't really Chicken, especially not Cow. While Chicken is loving the prison life, Cow is loving her playtime with Red. But eventually, she comes to a realization: Chicken never spends any time playing with her, so she hasn't been spending time with the real Chicken. Knowing what she must do, she turns into Supercow and rushes to take Red back to prison via bicycle. Meanwhile at said prison, Chicken starts a ruckus in the cafeteria and as a result he is sent to the warden's office. The warden just so happens to be Red Guy (the cartoony devil, not the same as the prisoner), and Chicken finally confesses to not being Red. R. Guy responds by taking Chicken to the yard and announcing to the prisoners that he has been wrongly imprisoned. Since none of them spoke out about this injustice, he sends them all to solitary confinement along with Chicken, and it doesn't look like it's going to end well for him. Thankfully, Supercow arrives right on time to swap Chicken out for Red, and the two siblings ride home. In the end, Chicken thanks Cow for saving him, Mom and Dad (real names and also human) praise Chicken for his honesty about being sent to prison, and they all eat pork butts and taters for dinner, along with some milk to drink. The end.

When I said earlier that this show felt like the most 90s thing CN did, there was one particular reason I had for saying that: this feels like an early Nicktoon on Cartoon Network. Some Nickelodeon shows from the 90s like Ren & Stimpy and Rocko's Modern Life were well known for their crude sense of humor. Most shows on CN are funny, entertaining, and sometimes a bit mean, but there has never been a CN show this crude before or since this one. Even David Feiss's other show for the channel is tame compared to Cow and Chicken. But is it as good as either of those Nick shows I mentioned? Well, I certainly wouldn't put it above Rocko; that one's an all-timer. I don't really know where it would stand next to Ren & Stimpy though, and given all the crap surrounding that show I don't care enough to find out. Though one thing's for sure, and that's that this show is nowhere near as iconic as those two. In fact, some people have even declared it as a rip-off! I don't have a say in the matter personally, so I'll just go ahead and say I still enjoyed my time with this show. Feiss's animation is a delight on the eyes as usual, other than Tartakovsky's shows he might have my favorite visual style on the network. The jokes here are also pretty good, especially Chicken losing his beak and the prisoners immediately dropping a fight to play jump rope. Other than that, I have pretty much the same thoughts here as I did to I Am Weasel. It may have its flaws, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

 

THE BOTTOM LINE: Crude humor can only get you so far, but there's enough spice here to just make up for it. Dig in!

RATING: 7 (leaning on 7.5)/10 (decent)

 

As mentioned earlier, I posted a talk-about for this show back in the SBM thread days, but once again I can't access it. Whatever, there's several links to that thread throughout this one, you can find it. Anyways, not like it's a surprise, but reveal the FINAL SHOW to us, Wheel...!

 

Spoiler

I'm scared.

 

Stay tuned for dman's last talk-about. 1 show remains...

[DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence (Success!)]

Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", dman talked about one of the most bizarre (yet forgettable) ideas for a show the network put out in the mid-2000s. Today's show is also bizarre, but certainly harder to forget...

 

 

#44: Secret Mountain Fort Awesome "Teleport-A-Potty"

[August 1, 2011]

 

Before Uncle Grandpa came around, this was the first show that Pete Browngardt created for Cartoon Network. And if you thought that former show that I covered back in 2019 was too zany and weird, HOOOOO boy it's nothing compared to this one. When this show came out, I heard almost nothing but bad things about it. And at the time, I agreed. My experience watching this show is a very similar one to that of The Problem Solverz: I saw one episode on television, and that was enough to make me nope out on the whole show. Of course, that was almost a decade and a half ago, and my opinions on shows I previously hated have changed over that time. Heck, a good portion of the internet seems to have warmed up to the aforementioned Uncle Grandpa, discovering the show wasn't as bad as most made it out to be. That only leaves the question of whether or not this show deserves the same treatment! Will it be awesome? ...or should it have remained secret?

The episode begins a group of monsters (apparently called "Disgustoids") ordering pizza. Hmm...sounds familiar. Anyways, we have Festro (the big purple one), Gweelok (the green one with serious acne), Slog (the one that looks like it's covered in pubic hair), Dingle (the pet vaguely resembling a dog), and The Fart (you guessed it, the one that's made of butts). Since the Disgustoids live underground, their pizza never arrives. This sends Festro into an overly long monologue about how he wishes they lived in a world where pizza was easily accessible, and just in time Gweelok reveals his newest invention: the teleport-a-potty. So, all the Disgustoids cram themselves in and begin the search for a world where pizza grows on trees. They encounter dimensions filled with vibrant color, flying babies, and sentient rollerskates, but none of them have pizza. The next dimension appears to look no better, and things take a turn for the worse when Festro finishes doing his business in the teleport-a-potty and flushes. This causes the teleport-a-potty to activate with no one inside, effectively stranding the Disgustoids. Before Gweelok can chew Festro out, the group discovers the world they're in is one where monsters rule over humans. Bad news, the leader of this domain is Helmethead, a monster who wants nothing to do with these outsiders. While the Disgustoids await certain death in his dungeon, Gweelok mentions that their only chance of getting home is if they find another toilet, since he can then modify it into another teleport-a-potty. Good news, a group of humans arrive to rescue the monsters and they take them to their human leader. The leader telepathically tells them that there is only one toilet in the land, but it was stolen by Helmethead and is still in his possession, leaving all the humans weak since they haven't been able to relieve themselves in a long time. But a prophecy foretells that a monster from another dimension will grant the humans use of the toilet once more...and said monster from the prophecy looks an awful lot like Festro. Realizing he will never eat pizza again if they don't get the toilet, Festro agrees to help. He assembles an army of humans and his fellow Disgustoids, but he immediately gets eaten by one of Helmethead's soliders. While the remaining Disgustoids engage in battle with Helmethead's army, Festro is able to burst through the solider that ate him once he is inside Helmethead's castle. The two engage in some cartoony shenanigans, and Helmethead reveals he's also been keeping fresh pizza stuck to his massive head under his helmet (which is actually an oven). Festro defeats Helmethead by eating all the pizza, and this summons the rest of the Disgustoids to the toilet. Before Gweelok can fully modify the toilet however, the humans gather round to use the toilet. The Disgustoids quickly jump into the bowl, except for Festro, who can't move due to all the pizza he ate. Despite not saving any slices for them, the Disgustoids still help him escape from the dimension...right after all the humans drop their pants. Festro then says he's fine never seeing a pizza again, before we zoom out and see the Disgustoids have now landed in a dimension that is nothing but a pizza floating in outer space. The end.

Well, that was a lot. What even were all those words I typed in that paragraph? It kinda just went in one ear and out the other. I guess I'll start by saying this: like Uncle Grandpa, it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. There are a few decently humorous moments here (Festro saying "don't leave me hanging" immediately cutting to everyone hanging in a dungeon was amusing) when I expected there to be none. But don't get me wrong, overall this was still pretty damn bad. I thought this show was going to be 2/10 levels of horrid, but it did manage to surprise me...if only barely. First, I cannot get past the art style of this show. It's saying something that the humans are even more unpleasant to look at than the actual Disgustoids. Second, outside of those few moments I mentioned, most of the jokes are duds. I don't find monsters rambling on and on about pizza that funny, sorry guys. To add on to that, the show moves at such an insane pace that any joke that does land doesn't get its full impact in. Also, the whole thing is WAY too out there for me. It feels like an Adult Swim show with even less maturity and even more drugs involved. I can see this one having appeal in a "so bad, it's good" kind of way, but as for me, this is one trip that I'll be fine with never going on again. 

THE BOTTOM LINE: SECRET MOUNTAIN FORT AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!! shhhhhhh

RATING: 3 (leaning on 3.5)/10 (straight bad)

 

And the penultimate show that the Wheel will spin is...

 

Spoiler

No, I will not be talking about the lesbians episode. Or will I?

 

Stay tuned for dman's next talk-about. 2 shows remain...

[DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence (Success!)]

Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", dman talked about the origin point for many loved classics on the network. Today's show is not one of them. I mean it could still be good, but it's not from the What a Cartoon! Show so it's not a classic in that sense. Honestly, I'm struggling to introduce this one, so let's just see what dman has to say already.

 

 

#23: Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi "Dis-Harmony"

[November 19, 2004]

 

So, remember when CN gave the band who sang the Teen Titans theme their own show? Well, if I'm being honest, I can't say I do. There's not much for me to remember from this one. The only bits I do recall are a live-action scene where a janitor plays the drums and the slightly different CN logo at the end. In other words, this show came out right around the time when I was becoming aware of what I watched on television, but not yet fully aware. Who knows what this show holds? Will the music make me lose control? Let's find out!

The episode begins with the titular band finishing up another show, which unfortunately doesn't go too well since the audience is filled with unimpressed yokels. In the backroom, Ami and Yumi lament about their manager Kaz, mentioning that he doesn't know how to book gigs in places where people actually appreciate them. Right on cue, Kaz bursts in and introduces the girls to the winner of their fan contest, Harmony. It turns out she's a full-on obsessive fan, to the point where she knows about every little detail of Ami and Yumi's lives, and has even made puppets in their likeness. Needless to say, the girls are both impressed and creeped out. After they give Harmony small tokens of appreciation, Kaz forces the fan out of the room and the three hit the road. However, their run-ins with Harmony are far from over, as she immediately appears in their dresser wearing bunny pajamas and...sniffing all of their socks. Eugggh. Things only get even more out of hand when Harmony is caught licking Yumi in a photo booth and massaging Ami's feet during a mud bath. Cue a montage of the girls trying to escape their #1 fan, but failing every time. Even when traveling to the moon they aren't safe! The girls ultimately assign the problem of dealing with their stalker to Kaz, since he got them into this mess. But upon hearing Kaz singing the show's theme song in the trailer, Harmony becomes obsessed with him instead, and he runs off in terror. Though initially relieved, Ami and Yumi comically regret their decision instantly and run outside of the trailer to get their #1 fan back. The end.

Well...that certainly was an episode of Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi! I won't mince words here; this one didn't do it for me. I don't hate it, but there's nothing here that gives me much of a reason to return to it. It gets some points for the occasional funny bits (see the image above), but any good will that brings is canceled out by how lackluster the animation is. The backgrounds are often blank, the characters are rarely expressive, no character design stands out if you exclude the main cast, I could go on. I can see why some of those elements would make other people fans of this show, but it just wasn't my bag. Overall, I consider this one mediocre. I'm not one to dismiss all celebrity cartoons as media that only exists to build up the egos of their protagonists (just look at my Class of 3000 post), but this one feels just like that. Pass.

 

THE BOTTOM LINE: Bye Bye, Puffy AmiYumi. You will be missed, but it won't be by me.

RATING: 5/10 (meh)

 

We're approaching the homestretch here, folks! Let's see what the Wheel says is next on the docket...

 

Spoiler

Well, what's so secret about it? HUH?!?

 

Stay tuned for dman's next talk-about. 3 shows remain...

[DMAN's official top 10 Green People]

...I'm sorry.

Let me catch those who might be unaware up to speed. In February of this year, a message I sent in a public Sketchful.io lobby leaked onto the SpongeBob Community Discord, ending up with me being labelled as one of the worst possible things any person can be: racist. At the time I may have seen it as nothing more than a funny, inconsequential shitpost, but being banned from Pictionary for more than a year can do some interesting things to your views on the world. I'm done living my life as a lime-loathing leper, and I've decided that with Thanksgiving being upon us, it's time for me to come clean.

To everyone on SBC, I give you the truth: I do not hate green people, and I never have. Quite the opposite, actually...I love green people! To prove myself (and hopefully beat the allegations once and for all), out of my own volition I have compiled a list of some of my favorite green people in television, music, games, educational television, and everything else under the sun. I restricted myself to only including one character per media property, which resulted in some unfortunate cuts but also gave this list more variety. Alright, enough stalling! Let's look at what I consider to be the best greeners EVER!!!!!!

 

DMAN'S top 10 green people (I love the green people.)

Spoiler

10. Shaggy (from Scooby-Doo)
Yeah, I know, this list just started and I'm already stretching the defintion of "green people". But come on, Shaggy just isn't the same character without his iconic green shirt. Not only that, I bet green is also the color of his favorite drug! Sorry, overused joke is overused. Ignoring that, his hippie-like personality always makes him fun to watch no matter what show he's in. It also helps that he is the subject of many great out of context moments and- dare I say- memes. You'll find that to be a recurring theme on this list...

Spoiler

9. Shrek (from Shrek)
...speaking of memes, let's talk about the multi-layered ogre himself. At first this seemed like a bit too obvious of a choice, but I can't deny how much joy he has brought to me, especially during the pandemic. Anytime I see a picture of Shrek, it takes me back to all the jokes we had surrounding him in Wintercord, most being at OBaB's expense. My apologies, bud. Now if only he had married me instead of Shadow the Hedgehog, SMH.

Spoiler

8. Corvax (from Muzzy)
In the world of educational langauge-learning VHS tapes, nothing beats Muzzy. I was originally going to put said titular character on this list, until I realized there was a much better one lurking beneath, the villainous Corvax himself. I mean, he has a computer! How can I say no to that? And the fact that he's such a simp for Princess Sylvia that he uses his computer to clone her a bajillion times just for them to run loose in the palace is hilarious. Sure, he may deserve the punishment he received in the end, but that punishment doesn't exclude him from this list. What a guy.

Spoiler

7. Yoyo (from Hoops & Yoyo)
Hoops & Yoyo are (read: were) the most iconic Hallmark brand characters. I can confirm that the comedic cat and funny bunny brought me many a laugh throughout the 2000s. So why did I single out Yoyo specifically? Well, um...he's green. Also he taught Hoops how to love. And he was on the electronic coffee cup my family had many years back. Liquid heaven, mmm. I hope these guys are having a blast ruining Christmas in the afterlife, along with all the other characters that inexplicably got a holiday special (looking at you, Grumpy Cat). R.I.P.

Spoiler

6. Yoshi (from Super Mario)
Now we're getting into the green people I really like. The Yoshi comes in many varieties, but I bet there's a reason they chose the green-colored one as the default: because green is the best color! Anyways yeah, I love these guys. Whether they're making funny noises, participating in kart races, or singing their theme song (Yoshi's New Island excluded), they're always a joy to have around. I was nail-bitingly close to placing Green Mario at this spot instead, but I simply couldn't resist going for the happy-go-lucky dino companion. The one that's currently sitting next to me would probably kill me if I did otherwise. 

Spoiler

5. Doctor Worm (from They Might Be Giants/KaBlam!)
They call him Doctor Worm. He's not a real doctor, but he is a real worm. He likes to play the drums. He thinks he's getting good, but he can handle criticism. Now that's my kinda worm right there! Even if Doctor Worm may not have appeared in the flesh, seeing this song being played live in concert was a religious experience for me. It's nice to see a kindhearted worm like himself achieve his dreams, even if to this day I still think he shouldn't have ditched Rabbi Vole to pursue them. They could've been a great duo! Oh, well. Right, and he's also interested in things. How could I forget that?

Spoiler

4. Dr. Phil M&M (from Wyoming)
I don't particurlarly like the original green M&M, I straight up don't like Dr. Phil, and I absolutely hate advertising. So isn't it a miracle that if you put all three together, you end up with one of the finest specimens humanity has ever laid eyes upon? This character is on another level both comedy and concept-wise, as we all know. But there's one big reason I'm putting him on this list: he was the character I used in Hooky 5 for Octerror Fest 2019. And that was the year I won! Also, check out the photo of him in this classic video. Now THAT is epic! 

Spoiler

3. Kermit (from The Muppets)
Not going to lie, these last spots were pretty much a forgone conclusion. When I first started planning this list, the top three immediately fell into place and haven't shifted at all. Anyways, I don't think Kermit is a character that needs any introduction. He is the face of the most iconic ensemble of puppets in television history, after all! He's goofy, his bouts of anger are hysterical, but most importantly, this frog has fully injected himself into meme culture. Whether it be Evil Kermit, Q-R-Cookie Monster, that photo of him with the gun, him Kermitting sewerslide, or whatever else, that shit gets me into a laughing fit every time. I also have to give him (or I should say his Muppet Babies counterpart) credit for appearing in the acclaimed anti-drug television special Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue (1990). Way to go, Kermit! You are a hero to all of man and frogkind. Now, if you could just remove yourself from the Jim Henson Productions logo from 1991 so that the child me would have no reason to fear you, we'd be set. 

Spoiler

2. Servine (from Pokémon)
Those who saw my submission to SBC's Pokémon Best List may have seen this one coming...somewhat. My top choice for that list was actually a three-way tie between the whole Snivy line, so it begs the question: why is the mid-evo here? Why didn't I pick the smug or the regal one? Well, I'm going to blame it on a mix of Pokécord and my ASD. I was already a fan of snakes before, then one day in 2019, this creature I didn't even know the name of spawned in Wintercord, I caught it, and I've been hyperfixated on Servine ever since. I like the legs. They look like tiny boots/heels; it's adorable. Sure, he may have that one abysmal scene in the anime where all the characters say "Servine" eight times in 30 seconds, but if anything that only makes me like them more. It's the closest he's gotten to being a meme, at least. I used to think I was weird for liking this guy so much, but nowadays I don't care. They say that every pokémon is someone's favorite, and you can goddamn bet I am living proof of that! (Also I haven't played any of the games, unless you count the PETA ones. You can shoot me now.)

Spoiler

Before we get to my #1 pick, let's take a look at a few honorable green folks that were dangerously close to making the list!

 

Compy
My #11 choice. Maybe when he gets that pilot he'll make the list proper!

 

Plato
Love him, but putting him on the list would feel like advertising the supermarket chain I work for. I hate advertising.

 

Green
This is an album, not a person. You should still give it a listen!

 

Green Book
Again, not a person. Watch this movie to end racism! It changed my life.

 

this guy
He's been living with me for more than 10 years. I would feel bad if I didn't at least mention him here.

 

Dancing H (green)
It's not worth the epilepsy.

 

Plankton's family
Picking a SpongeBob character seemed too obvious. But these hicks are pretty funny!

Spoiler

1. Glep (from Smiling Friends)
If anyone believes Glep should not be in the top spot, speak now or forever hold your peace. No one? Good. Anyways, ever since this show started picking up in 2022, I have been OBSESSED with this little critter. Just look at his smile above! Look how excited he is to be the new Mr. Frog! Look at how perfect he is! Sure, it may not have turned out well in the end, but that image still fills me with pure happiness. And when I'm not admiring the green thing, I'm constantly asking questions about him. What even is his role in the company? For the most part, it seems like he just sits around watching YouTube on his electronic device all day. He just like me fr!! When are we going to get the Glep episode? Very soon, apparently! If it's as good as the Allan episode this dude is going to be at #1 for a long, long time. I was even crazy enough to build a giant Glep monument in SpongeCraft; it took three hours but every second was worth it! They better restock the official plushes soon or I'm going to start speeding in the next school zone I see. I would also mention that he's funny as shit, but that's a given. I love Glep, and chances are I (and the rest of SBC for that matter) always will. It'll never happen, but even if something cataclysmic happens within the show that knocks him out of first place...

Spoiler

0. Gangster Glep
...we'll always have his gangster counterpart, unaffected by whatever happens in the canon Smiling Friends Universe. KING TYPE SHIT!!!!!!

 

And that's going to wrap up the list! I hope that this thread will open up everyone's eyes so I can stop being treated as a pariah within the community. If there's one thing I want SBC to take away from all of this, it's that I think green people are the best people around. I love green people, SBC! I LOVE GREEN PEOPLE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Now, red people on the other hand...

[DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence (Success!)]

Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", dman talked about Stimulus Overload: The Show. Will today's show help in toning things down?

 

 

#03: What a Cartoon! "Meat Fuzzy Lumkins"

[February 20, 1995]

 

Ah yes, it's time to talk about one of the most important shows in the history of Cartoon Network. The What a Cartoon! Show might not be iconic in of itself, but it cannot be denied how many iconic shows it spawned. Name any CN original from the 90s or early 2000s, and there's a more than likely chance that it got its start on either this show or one of its future iterations. If there's any single show that was most integral in making CN what it was, it's this one. Dexter's Lab, Johnny Bravo, Cow and Chicken, Courage, etc., all of them owe thanks to this little anthology series. But screw all of those, let's talk about the Powerpuff Girls for the third time in this thread!!!

As a sidenote, due to the way this show is structured I'm only covering the first segment of episode one. I have a couple of reasons for this: it's partly because unlike the other anthology shows I covered (The Moxy Show & Sunday Pants) there's not really a unifying theme between these segments, but it's mostly because Wikipedia splits up each episode of this show into lettered segments (not to mention they all aired on different dates), whereas it doesn't do that with the other two shows. So yeah, at least it'll be a short one today.

The episode starts at the Townsville Mall where a jam contest is being held, hosted by the Mayor (who looks quite different than we're used to, also he's not voiced by mah boi Tom) and judged by none other than the titular girls. One of the contestants is Fuzzy Lumkins, the monster hick who puts meat in his jam. Unfortunately for him, the girls dislike his mix and pick a different jam as the winner. Blaming the girls directly for his loss, Lumkins prepares to seek vengeance with the help of his own invention, the Meatgun©. Basically, it's a gun that turns anything it shoots into meat, and he plans to turn the entirety of Townsville into his next meal. Later at Pokey Oaks Kindergarten, the girls get a call from the Mayor informing them of how everything in Townsville is being turned into meat, himself included. The girls speed off to the middle of town and are able to restore the city...somehow. Now the problem is figuring out exactly who committed these heinous acts, and no one in Townsville seems to have the answer. The girls are stumped, but thanks to a quippy talking dog they correctly deduce the identity of the culprit: Fuzzy Lumkins. The girls arrive to stop Lumkins before he can shoot the Townsville Mall, but they have trouble defending themselves from his Meatgun. One beam manages to graze Bubbles' hair, turning one of her pigtails into a drumstick. This causes her to flip out, and she beats up Lumkins in a variety of ways before ultimately shooting him with his own weapon. Ultimately the girls host a barbeque in a recently saved Townsville, but when the Mayor asks why his burger has Lumkins-like diddly-bobs sticking out of it, the girls simply giggle to themselves. The end.

Well, I'm not sure what I expected. If you want to see an early version of what would become one of CN's most beloved shows, here it is! Of course, it's a lot rougher around the edges than the show we're all used to, but there's still good stuff here. My favorite bit has to be during the Bubbles and Lumkins fight scene; inbetween all the violent moments, there's one scene where Lumkins is in the middle of a goofy walk cycle and Bubbles simply trips him with a smile; that part made me chuckle. And the rest of this is fun too, even if it's very obviously a prototype. I can't help but notice the similarities to the actual first episode of the PPG, just replace dogs with meat. That said, I always found Mojo Jojo to be much more fun to watch than Fuzzy Lumkins, but that's me. So yes, while it may pale to its later incarnation, there's still something to get out of these early Powerpuff shorts.

 

THE BOTTOM LINE: What a(n average) Cartoon!

RATING: 7/10 (decent)

 

Man, it looks like there's not an 8/10 or above anthology show in CN's history. I guess KaBlam! and Liquid Television spoiled that genre for me. Oh well, give me another show, Wheel!

 

Spoiler

Hello! Hello!

 

Stay tuned for dman's next talk-about. 4 shows remain...

[DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence (Success!)]

Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", dman talked about what's easily his favorite show in the list. Now all he has to do is fill in the gaps that are left...

 

 

#52: Mighty Magiswords "The Mystery of Loch Mess"

[September 29, 2016]

 

Alright, time to talk about the last remaining show from the period of time where CN was starting to lose my attention. After the complete disaster that was the Powerpuff Girls reboot, this was the next show to premiere. And it's yet another case of a show that I remember being on, but I never actually caught it on TV. However, unlike some of the other shows in this group, I specifically recall going out of my way to avoid this one. It just didn't look like my thing (for reasons that I will soon mention). In the meantime, let's see exactly what happens in this show...there's a lot to cover.

The episode begins with the Warrior (last name) siblings Prohyas and Vambre bored out of their minds and wanting some work to do. After some extreme arm wrestling and having to calm down their pet dragon Grup, the Warriors hear their doorbell ringing. They get excited at the thought of it being a customer, but it's only Hoppus delivering them a message from Princess Zange. Good news, Zange is the one who actually has a job for the Warriors! Over the past few months she's been sending offerings to Loch Mess to keep the peace with the kingdom (and its huge pig guard). Problem is, the delivery people never come back. She entrusts the Warriors with solving the problem, and if they're successful Zange will make them to go-to adventurers for all future missions. Without hesitation, the Warriors accept and start preparing. At Ralphio's House of Swords, Prohyas buys an expensive bacon magisword after Zange tells them the residents of Loch Mess will cool down at the sight of pork products. Then at Slugburger, Prohyas gets overexcited and announces their upcoming mission to their server via microphone magisword. However, this announcement is also overheard by business rivals Morbidia and Gateaux of Witch Way, who believe the mission is better suited for sorcerors like them. So, they plan to go save all the delivery people themselves in the hopes that Zange will make them the priority adventurers instead of the Warriors. Meanwhile, the Warriors have arrived at Loch Mess and are greeted by Hambus, the giant pig guard mentioned earlier. It turns out he has no idea why the delivery people are disappearing either, but he is eager to find out so he offers the siblings a ride to the castle. There, they are introduced to Queen Porcina Pork Loin, and it's quickly discovered that she has been kidnapping all the delivery people so she can keep them as pets. Apparently Porcina isn't too fond of Zange's offerings consisting of various broccolis, but she is much more entertained by said "pets" so she considers them the offerings instead. Realizing that the queen isn't willing to give up her subjects, Prohyas and Vambre use their bacon and tomato magiswords respectively...to no effect on the queen. Porcina responds by sending her other guard pigs to deal with the Warriors, but the siblings are able to use various magiswords to fend themselves off. That is, until they are interrupted by Witch Way, which results in all four adventurers being captured and getting ready to be fed to the Loch Mess Nomster. Thankfully, like with Grup earlier, Prohyas is able to calm down the Nomster with his voice and he becomes obedient. Porcina realizes she doesn't need to kidnap delivery people anymore as the Nomster is already a great pet, so she sets them all free and reinstates her peace with Zange's kingdom...just as long as they stop sending broccoli. Before the Warriors can send the delivery people home, Witch Way beats them to the punch by summoning an escape boat. Fortunately, with the help of the birdcall magisword, the Warriors are able to attract a bird that carries the sorcerors away before they can finish their speech. Back home, Zange congratulates the Warriors on their successful mission, makes them the official adventurers of the kingdom, and gives them a new mission to retrieve a Loch Mess Nomster for herself, as they are apparently very adorable. The end.

Believe it or not, there are still several details I had to leave out of that summary, because boy howdy does this show do a lot in 11 minutes. In fact, I think it's way too much. Remember how months ago I said that OK K.O. was paced too quickly for my liking? Take that pace, multiply it tenfold, and give it a little extra sugar just to be sure. That's this show. There is not a SINGLE moment to breathe in this whole thing. Any jokes that I did like (and there were a few) were instantly drowned out by the next shiny thing that was happening onscreen. Speaking of onscreen, I'm also not a big fan of the character designs here. Sure, considering the period it came from it's not that different, but all the bright colors started to wear on my eyes with time (no, it's nowhere near as bad as Problem Solverz. There's no comparison there). But even with all that said...I didn't hate it. It's not the kind of thing I'll ever visit again, but it was semi-entertaining when I watched it. I wouldn't have enough stamina to get through more than a few episodes in a day, and if I were to guess, its formulas would likely get tiring for me pretty fast. I guess that's where I'm at with this one: hyperkinetic, overexaggerated ambivalence.

 

THE BOTTOM LINE: I think I got hit with the brain-melting magisword, because I can't process any more new information today with everything this show threw at me.

RATING: 5 (leaning on 4.5)/10 (meh)

 

Now, normally I'd link my old talk-about of this show at the bottom of this post, but it seems like SBM has implemented even stricter measures for anonymous browsing because I can't access that thread anymore. Oh well, if you're curious there's plenty of other links earlier on in this topic. Just use one of those to find my old talk-about of this show and you're set. Okay, back to business. You know what to do, Wheel!

 

Spoiler

Ah yes, the spawning grounds.

 

Stay tuned for dman's next talk-about. 5 shows remain...

[The Golden Community Awards XIX -- Nominations]

funniest member: wumbo, winter, salmon, prez, clappy
chattiest member: whobob, jjs, prez, sbl, zaid
spongiest member: carotte, jaic, winter, mythix, salmon
best gamer: prez, darkness, fred, zaid, crush
show stopper: clappy, nuggets, omj, kat, ex
geekiest band geek: prez, maniac, kev, steel, kat
most artistic member: darkness, steel, cha, zaid, nuggets
sportiest member: illini, prez, jcm, trophy, carotte

best episode: "what if...the fake wikipedia spongebob episodes actually existed?", "what if...prez was a jackbox host?", "what if...lisa simpson knew what you can do?" (take a guess where all of these are from)
best artwork: marge (brifter), beer and tv (whobob), block 13 (zaid), manifestation (nuggets), baseball (salmon)

honorary staff member: zaid, owm
honorary member: carotte, slug

[DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence (Success!)]

Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", dman talked about the first show on the list to make it big. Will today's show be able to compare? (In terms of how much it influenced dman's own life, absolutely not. This one wipes the floor.)

 

 

It's November! Halloween is over and Thanksgiving season has begun, so let's take a look at a show I'm very thankful for...

#31: Chowder "Burple Nurples"

[November 2, 2007]

 

Huh, I could've sworn that "The Froggy Apple Crumple Thumpkin" was the first episode. Oh well, whatever Wikipedia says is what I'm going with.

I'm not going to delay my thoughts on this one: this is not only my favorite cartoon in all of CN's history, but my favorite cartoon of all time. I have been waiting to cover this one since the SBM thread began, and now the day has finally come. My brother and I watched this one religiously when it was airing, and we'd quote and make unwarranted references to it constantly. Hell, even my parents were fans of this one, and they wouldn't let us watch SpongeBob back then! Even today I still think about this show, and just recently I binged through the whole thing again. Given that intro I'm pretty sure you all know what score this show will be getting, so let's stop dawdling and see what I've been missing when I wasn't in the kitchen!

The episode starts with Chowder passing by his (not) girlfriend Panini outside. Just like Chowder she is also an apprentice chef, and her cooking master Endive has allowed her to "spread her wings" and make a dish of her own to sell. This makes Chowder also want to try making his own dish, but when he gets back to Mung Daal's catering company, he doesn't think his own apprentice is ready. After Chowder does a lot of convincing (and specifically mentions his rival Endive), Mung relents and allows Chowder to cook a dish. Mung initially suggests "pickle in a cup", but Chowder wants to try a slightly harder recipe, "burple nurples". Unfortunately, he misinterprets basically every instruction in the cookbook. Worse, instead of adding snoreiander to the recipe, he puts in poison. As Chowder goes outside to sell the nurples, Mung must do whatever he can to make sure none of them are sold to any innocent customers. Mung disguises himself and buys all of Chowder's nurples on display for a hefty price, only for Chowder to bring out another five dozen of them. While Mung begs his wife Truffles for more money, Chowder's "friend" Gorgonzola shows up at his stand to try a nurple. To stop Gorgonzola from eating the nurple, Mung has to wear another disguise and haggle all his money away. However, yet again Chowder brings out another batch of nurples to sell. Since his employee Shnitzel has no extra money to give, Mung has to resort to the nuclear option: wearing another disguise and stealing Chowder's nurple supply. While Chowder chases him across the town of Marzipan, Mung struggles to find a viable way to dispose of the nurples. He tries to dispose of them in a toilet, but the toilet is sentient and a fan of burple nurples. He tries to throw them off the edge of the city, but the giant man holding up all of Marzipan is also a fan of burple nurples. Finally, Mung is successful when he arrives at Mt. Fondoom and dumps the nurples into the active volcano. All in all, Mung may be penniless for the next month, but he reassures himself with the fact that everything he believed about Chowder was right. The end.

This is one show where the description I wrote does not do the episode justice: you need to watch it for yourself to get the full picture. Not saying my descriptions would do that for any show I've talked about, because it doesn't. But for this show in particular, there is so much I glossed over. First of all, Shnitzel is the greatest character in all of media. His grumpy nature and speech consisting of basically nothing but "radda" is an epic combination. That being said, Mung Daal isn't too far behind him. But then there's the most important thing I need to mention about this show: it is the funniest thing I have ever seen. There is no way I would be able to fit all of my favorite jokes in just a few sentences, so I'll pull a Class of 3000 and list a few of them:

• Chowder getting stuck saying "PLEEEEEEEEEEASE" to Mung.
• The first recipe Chowder picks is a barely readable, overly complicated dish written in amusingly fancy handwriting.
• Both Truffles and Shnitzel ask Mung if the reason why he needs all their money is due to a "Chowder-related" incident.
• Chowder: "Listen, I've got a lot of customers waiting."
  The city is completely void of people.
• While Mung is haggling with Gorgonzola:
  Mung: "75."
  Gorgonzola: "350."
  Mung: "80."
  Gorgonzola: "360."
  Mung: "85!"
  Chowder: "800 thousand!"
  Mung: "Stay out of this!"
• The fact that Mung isn't fazed by a sentient toilet, but Chowder is absolutely terrified.
• If I had to pick my favorite joke, it'd be this one:
  Mung: "Care to give a free sample to a pretty lady?"
  Chowder: "Sure! You know one?"
  Mung: (pause) "Care to give a free sample to an ugly lady?"
  Chowder: "...no, ugly ladies have to pay."

And all that's not even to mention the copious fourth wall breaks throughout this show. Surprisingly there weren't any in this episode, but just know that they are in the series and they're all GLORIOUS. And THAT'S not to mention the great variety of animation styles, the puppets always appearing in the credits, the fact that Gazpacho might be the actual best character in all of fiction, etc etc. Look, I can't give high enough praises for this show. It's stuck with me all these years for a reason, and I don't see why I shouldn't indulge myself by giving it the score below.

 

THE BOTTOM LINE: It's charming, it's varied, it's hilarious, I love everything here. Except for the poisoned burple nurples, of course.

RATING: 10/10 (one of my favorite things ever)

 

Okay, dead serious this time, whatever comes next has no chance of beating this. We've officially peaked in my book. But go ahead and spin again, Wheel!

 

Spoiler

Certainly one of the choices of all time.

 

Stay tuned for dman's next talk-about. 6 shows remain...

[DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence (Success!)]

Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", dman talked about one of the biggest landmark shows in the network's entire history (with a fitting episode for the Halloween season). Funilly enough, today's show could also be considered a landmark!

 

 

#04: Dexter's Laboratory "DeeDeemensional"

[April 27, 1996]

 

I've talked about almost all of the Cartoon Cartoons in this thread, and yet after all this time I still haven't covered the first one. Well, that ends today! As mentioned by 4EverGreen above, this is what many consider to be Cartoon Network's first "big" show. If you ask any joe schmoe on the street, chances are they won't be familiar with Moxy, Space Ghost, or the What a Cartoon! Show. But they'll probably at least have heard of Dexter and his lab. Additionally, not only was this Genndy Tartakovsky's first show on the network, but his first show period! Before the maturity seen in shows like Samurai Jack, Clone Wars, and Sym-Bionic Titan, he just made a simple comedy show. What will I think of it? I mean, I remember liking it when it was airing on Boomerang at least. Let's see what Dexter's cooking up in his lab today!

The episode starts in the titular Dexter's Laboratory, where the clock strikes 4 and he and his sister Dee Dee are fighting a losing battle against a gelatinous monster. We don't have any knowledge of the events that led to this situation, but we're going to find out soon as Dexter sees no other solution than handing Dee Dee a note, sending her into the past, and telling her to hand the note to his past self to warn him. Unfortunately, Dee Dee isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, so Dexter assumes he is doomed. Dee Dee however does make it to the past, one hour back to be exact. The problem is that when she tries to relay Dexter's future message to past Dexter, he doesn't believe her in the slightest. I mean, the last person he would send to the past to deliver an important message from the future would be Dee Dee, right? So, he tells her to buzz off, causing her to run outside in tears. Now, imagine Dexter's shock when he hears Dee Dee venting to her past self about how mean her brother is. He runs outside demanding to see the future message, but now neither Dee Dee wants to give it to him due to how rude he was. After Dexter begs his sister(s) by telling them he'll do anything to get the message, the girls get an idea. Cut to 15 minutes before the disaster unfolds, and the three siblings are doing a live ballet performance, leaving Dexter displeased. He grows so impatient that he doesn't care about the message anymore, and instead he directs both Dee Dees to test his newest experiment: an interdimensional doorway. Before he can get either one to step in however, a gelatinous monster appears through the gate and the clock once again strikes 4. While future Dee Dee experiences deja vu, Dexter tries to give the Dee Dees another message to send to his past self, reminding Dee Dee she still has the message from future Dexter, so she hands it to past Dexter. Both Dee Dees once again head to the past and Dexter assumes he is doomed, starting everything all over again. The end.

It may not reach the highs of some of Tartakovsky's later works, but this show is still as good a time as I remembered. Dexter's introversion and Dee Dee's extraversion play off of each other really well, and the show is also pretty funny. Usual shoutouts go to Dexter's delivery of "This better be important, woman." and the irony of Dee Dee giving Dexter his note far too late. But honestly, I find it funniest of all how Dexter's destruction is completely of his own doing. It seems to be a theme of many episodes in the show. So yes, I like this one. I don't hold it as highly as Jack or Titan, but it has an easier barrier to entry than Clone Wars so I'll be giving it the edge over that one. Oh yeah, and because I couldn't think of anywhere else to mention it, I once filled out an English homework assignment around an episode of this show. Granted it was a season 4 episode...but still. Also, Rude Removal is a masterpiece. I couldn't think of anywhere to mention that either.

 

THE BOTTOM LINE: It ain't the perfect formula, but it's still reliable. Now leave me alone, I have some important calculations to do...

RATING: 8/10 (pretty good)

 

Just like Dexter, I can feel myself nearing the end...of the show list, that is! Let's get one step closer, Wheel!

 

Spoiler

Damn, I was starting to hope the Wheel would save this one for last at this point...oh well.

 

Stay tuned for dman's next talk-about. 7 shows remain...

[DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence (Success!)]

Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", dman talked about an action show and actually had some fun with it for once! How well will today's show do in keeping the fun train moving?

 

 

#36: Adventure Time "Slumber Party Panic"

[April 5, 2010]

 

I'm really glad the Wheel chose to go in sequential order with this one, because this next history portion takes place inbetween Secret Saturdays and the show I'll be discussing today. As many of you know, CN was in a very bad place in 2009. It was one thing that there wasn't a single new cartoon that year, but that year also brought us the much maligned CN Real block. A bunch of live-action shows airing on Cartoon Network?? It was already a recipe for disaster, made even worse by how low effort these shows were. Considering how low a point of CN's history this was, it is a god damn miracle that Adventure Time came along the following year. It successfully gave new energy to the network, and it cannot be understated just how influential this show was to animation in the 2010s. I've mentioned that Regular Show and Gumball were also highly influential, but both pale in comparison to this one. And as a kid, I loved this one just as much! Granted, I stopped following it in its later years, but today we're talking about an early episode, so it'll be right in my wheelhouse. IT'S TALK-ABOUT TIME!

The episode starts with Finn (the human) and Princess Bubblegum doing scientific experiments in a graveyard. More specifically, Bubblegum is testing her decorpse-inator serum so she can bring candy people back to life. It appears to work on the first subject, but when said subject causes the rest of the serum to explode over the whole graveyard, Bubblegum realizes too late that her serum is incomplete and the corpses have been zombified rather than brought back to life. Since the zombies feed on sugar, this is bad news for the Candy Kingdom. Finn and Bubblegum rush back to the castle and gather all the kingdom's citizens inside. Bubblegum announces that they are going to hold a slumber party in her castle, initially confusing Finn. In private, Bubblegum tells him that if the candy people learn about the zombies, it would scare them so much that they would explode. She convinces Finn to make a royal promise not to tell anyone about the undead while she goes off to finish her serum. Finn gets ready to distract the partygoers until he is interrupted by his brother Jake (the dog), who is curious to know what he and Bubblegum were talking about. Noticing Finn is trying to hide something from him, he gets suspicious. Finn starts a game of truth or dare to get away from the subject, but it backfires when Jake eventually DARES Finn to tell him the TRUTH about what he and Bubblegum were discussing in private. Finn then sees the approaching fleet of zombies outside, and his panicked response only makes Jake more suspicous, but again he distracts by shoving Jake and his girlfriend (Lady Rainicorn) in a closet for 7 minutes of heaven. In the meantime Finn turns up the music, gets the candy citizens to board up the doors and windows, and gives them all blindfolds for the "pinata" game they're about to play. The plan works perfectly as the candy people destroy all the zombies, until Jake exits the closet and a relieved Finn tells him about the zombies, accidentally breaking his royal promise. Time freezes and Finn and Bubblegum are scooped up by the Gumball Guardians, ready to put Finn through trial by fire. Thankfully, there is an alternative penalty: answering math questions. Finn is able to give the correct answer for 2+2, causing the Guardians to fully reset. Thanks to this incident, Bubblegum realizes "4" is the last figure she needs to complete the serum.  They bring all of the corpses fully back to life, Finn learns a lesson about keeping his promises, and old man Starchy admits he loves the taste of flesh, zombie or not. The end.

Even with all the years that have passed, it's easy to see why this show took the world by storm when it was airing. It's charming, it's imaginative, and it's of course funny. It feels like every character here (even those in the background) get their laughable moments, but my favorites go to Finn's line towards Tree Trunks and the entirety of the scene with the Guardians; their line delivery is god-tier. It's a very good first episode. So what about the show overall? I'll be straightfoward and say that out of the three titans of 2010s CN that I keep bringing up, this is my personal least favorite of the three. I still enjoy it, but it never stuck around with me long term like Regular Show or Gumball did. Chalk it up to my own personal taste, I guess. I binged this one in full not too long ago, and even with that knowledge I'm still giving it the rating below. This show both started and ended well and was a tiny bit rough in the middle, but that wild ending makes it all worth it. If you've been living under a rock for the last 15 years, give it a watch!

 

THE BOTTOM LINE: Even if I don't love it as much as everyone else, this one's still an all-timer. 

RATING: 8 (leaning on 8.5)/10 (pretty good)

 

There's still a few standouts left on this list, but I don't think we're beating this one on overall influence for the rest of this thread. Wheel, go on and do your thing!

 

Spoiler

Back to the lab again...

 

Stay tuned for dman's next talk-about. 8 shows remain...

[Very SCARY Music Poll]

[DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence (Success!)]

Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", dman talked about some high-quality history edutainment television. Today's show isn't history or edutainment focused, but will it be high-quality?

 

 

#35: The Secret Saturdays "The Kur Stone (part 1)"

[October 3, 2008]

 

You might be wondering what that "important milestone" that I mentioned last time is. Well, this is the last show I'll be covering with an episode that goes over 11 minutes! After today's post is complete, it'll be nothing but bite-sized watches from here. While I'm on this topic, this show is another case of technically having a multi-part premiere, but like Omniverse and unlike Class of 3000, the website I use splits its two parts into separate video files, so I'll just be covering the first one. Anyways, I just realized I haven't mentioned my experience with this show yet; that's because there's barely any. The ending to the theme song always stuck in my head for whatever reason, but that's as far as my memory with this one goes. It was yet another action show in the period of time when they just weren't my thing (it doesn't help that this show got a crossover episode with my greatest adversary in this thread, Ben 10). Once again I'm going in blind, ready to discover what secrets this show has in store.

The episode begins with the Saturdays (father Doc, mother Drew, specifically son Zak) chasing a frog through the rainforest, accompanied by the cat/gorilla-like creature named Fiskerton and the occasionally invisible Komodo dragon named Komodo. Zak gives us some narration explaining what his family does; they're cryptozoologists who are part of the Secret Scientists, an organization dedicated to studying and protecting cryptids from greater human knowledge. Right after he finishes his spiel, explosions occur at three major Secret Scientist bases, prompting the intro to play. The bases are then breached by various evildoers; most notably one in Arizona is breached by TV show host V. V. Argost, who claims that the Scientists stole a stone from his house and demands that they return it. Back on the Saturdays' side of things, Doc and Drew let Zak test his abilities to influence cryptids on the frog from earlier. It works for a moment, but before Doc can finish studying the frog, it multiplies itself and sends the team running away. Once they make it back to the ship, they receive a warning of the break-in at the Scientist bases. At the Saturdays HQ, Argost ally Van Rook and his apprentice are also searching for the previously mentioned stone. While Zak, Fiskerton, and Komodo stay on the ship, Doc and Drew enter the headquarters to fight the villains off. Unfortunately, they both end up subdued, and Van Rook's apprentice activates a device on his arm.

Before he can attack, Drew frees herself and Doc with her sword and pins the apprentice against a wall. Defeated, Van Rook and his apprentice retreat via teleportation. At that moment, Zak tries running into the headquarters to join the fight, much to his parents' disapproval. Zak argues that he's mature enough to handle more dangerous situations now (despite being 11), but the conversation is interrupted by an incoming message from Dr. Miranda, a scientist at the Antarctica base. Bad news, the piece of the stone being harbored in their base was stolen and she can't get in contact with Dr. Henry, the scientist seen earlier in the Arizona base. The Saturdays go to visit him in person, where he reveals that his piece of the stone has also been stolen. Zak, confused as to what is going on, asks his parents for the full story. They give it to him: the stone pieces are of the Kur Stone, an artifact that gives information to find the all-powerful cryptid known as Kur. Doc and Drew originally discovered the stone, but before their team could even find out what it was, their settlement was ambushed and the stone was stolen by Argost. A group of many Secret Scientists formed to retrieve the stone from the Argost mansion, and although they were successful, only seven came out alive, including Doc, Drew, Miranda, and Henry. This is when they decided to keep the stone secret by separating it into three pieces and keeping them in secret locations. Drew reveals that their piece wasn't even in their headquarters, but somewhere in the Amazon River Basin. Henry suggests they all go to relocate the stone piece, but Komodo then attacks a neural parasite on his neck, revealing that Argost has been listening in on their conversation. Argost then takes brief control of Henry, and he unleashes a storm of explosive beetles on the family. Henry gets ready to sacrifice himself so the Saturdays can escape the ball of beetles and protect the stone, yet despite a giant explosion, he makes it out alive. Dr. Odele confirms Henry is stable, and offers to look after Zak while his parents retrieve their stone piece. Surprisingly, Doc declines the offer as he believes Zak's cryptid-influencing abilities will be important in this mission. To be continued...

To my surprise, I quite enjoyed this one. It has all the same elements that a Ben 10 cartoon of this time would, yet I found myself slightly more entertained by this. The plot of the show is both unique and cool, the action scenes (especially the fight at the Saturdays HQ) kept me captivated, and there were even amounts of humor I liked (Doc throwing a television to Drew's confusion, Zak having recorded multiple episodes of Argost's show, Fiskerton's barely understandable gibberish, etc.). It makes me actually want to check out the second part of this episode, which isn't something I could say for most of the Ben 10 sequel series. I'd even go as far to say it beats all of them (except for the original, of course)! So yeah, this is one I'll have to come back to at some point. It may not be amazing, but there's only 36 episodes, so it'd definitely be more easy to binge than the alternative.

THE BOTTOM LINE: Maybe this show is a bit too secret; I had a good bit of fun with it.

RATING: 7 (leaning on 7.5)/10 (decent)

 

And that wraps that! Hopefully with these much shorter episodes I'll be able to finish these posts with more speed now. Let's see what the Wheel says!

 

Spoiler

 

Stay tuned for dman's next talk-about. 9 shows remain...

[DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence (Success!)]

Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", dman talked about the show at the very end of the list. Unfortunately, it didn't leave much of an impact on him. Will today's show succeed in being more memorable?

 

 

#13: Time Squad "Eli Whitney's Flesh-Eating Mistake"

[June 8, 2001]

 

It's finally time to complete the trio of forgotten early 2000s CN shows that I have a certain fondness for. Sheep was covered near the start of this thread, Robot Jones was just a few months back, and now we'll be taking a look at Time Squad. I remeber liking this one a lot, but after Robot Jones massively grew on me, I also remember it ending up as my least favorite of the three. That said, it's been years since I've seen this one. Who knows? It might surprise me and end up being my favorite of the three. Only one way to find out: let's go back in time to watch its first episode.

The episode begins at Sister Thornly's School for Wayward Tots, where 97% of the kids are total thugs. The odd one out is Otto, an orphaned boy who loves reading books. Unfortunately for him, Thornly has a strict policy against reading, so she gives him a day's worth of chores as punishment when she catches him reading in a closet. By the end of the day he collapses in his bed, but is interrupted by the arrival of far-future time cop Buck Tuddrussel and his robot partner Larry 3000. The two believe Otto to be Eli Whitney, but he reveals they're both in the wrong time AND place. After a close encounter with Thornly, Tuddrussel explains his job: since his future is a utopian society, he fixes the instabilities that crop up in past historical events to make sure the future stays the future. Unfortunately, neither him nor Larry are very good with their history knowledge, so Otto offers to come with them and Tuddrussel accepts his offer, despite Larry's disapproval. Tuddrussel briefly shows Otto around their base in outer space, while Larry explains how he ended up with this job: he was originally created to help satisfy diplomatic negotations, but ever since the world became a utopia his services became unneeded, and so he was relocated with Tudrussel. Eventually, Larry reconfigures the time machine to the correct coordinates, and the trio travels back to 1783 to see what Whitney is up to.

They arrive to find the city of Savannah, Georgia on fire, and Larry suddenly gets beat up by a group of townspeople. We immediately see what has gone wrong in time when one of the townspeople thinks Larry is one of the flesh-eating robots that Whitney built. Escaping from the situtation, the time squad moves further into town to try and find Whitney (it doesn't take them long). After Tudrussel tases Whitney, he explains that he created the robots because he wanted to "do something to help mankind", although he didn't think too far ahead on how flesh-eating robots would accomplish that. The squad heads outside to stop the robots, only to come face to face with them. Otto is too small and Larry isn't made of flesh so the robots target Tudrussel, but after a lengthy scuffle he manages to blow up all of the robots. However, the townspeople rush over to Otto to congratulate him instead, and upon feeling his T-shirt they realize just how uncomfortable their shirts are. Otto explains his shirt is made of cotton, which gives Whitney a new idea for helping mankind. He is now on track to invent the cotton gin, so the work of the time squad is done and they head home, although they are a little worse for wear. The end.

Before I get to the rest of my thoughts, I have to mention that the theme song for this show kicks ass. Anyways, the rest of this show is good too! I'm not that big of a history buff, but I love the concept here. It also doesn't hurt that the main trio have a great character dynamic and the show is funny too. Special mentions go to Tuddrussel giving Otto his taser to deal with Thornly, and Larry begrudgingly serving a drink to Tuddrussel. That said, the way the whole "cotton gin" thing is resolved is a bit contrived, but even then it just adds to the wackiness of this show, so I can forgive it. So, do I still think this show is weaker than the other two I mentioned at the start of this post? Well...yeah, but it's just by a hair. I love Sheep's humor and Robot Jones' art style so much that even a solid show just barely pales in comparison. Whatever, I still enjoy this one and will have to watch more episodes after this. I will also give mention to this quote on the show's Wikipedia page: Beauregard "Buck" Tuddrussel (voiced by Rob Paulsen) is described as "a square-jawed cop too dumb to know he's dumb. Think Buzz Lightyear with a few extra male chromosomes." Holy shit, that made me laugh more than it should've, sorry. Wanna hear another dark joke?

 

THE BOTTOM LINE: Thankfully, this show's premiere was far from the worst thing to happen in 2001!

RATING: 8 (leaning on 7.5)/10 (pretty good)

 

Alright, we're down to our last 10 shows and I'm feeling more pumped than ever! Spin me a good one, Wheel!

 

Spoiler

Ah, we've reached an important milestone...

 

Stay tuned for dman's next talk-about.

[DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence (Success!)]

Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", dman got entirely burned out on the action genre as a whole. The good news is today's show cannot be remotely labelled as such...

 

 

#57: Summer Camp Island "The First Day"

[July 7, 2018]

 

So here we are. This isn't quite the last show I'll be covering in this thread, but it is the last one on that huge list at the start. After this point in CN history, I have basically no experience with any of the shows that premiered after this one (well, except Infinity Train. I won't be covering that one, but if I were to score it it'd probably get an 8/10). Okay, back to this show. I don't remember seeing it on TV once, although I also wasn't going out of my way to try and watch it. One of the only memories I have regarding this one is an SBM thread announcing it was greenlit, and how everyone thought it looked like shit. Thankfully, I don't have to mimic the opinions of SBM's main userbase in 2016. Let's give this camp a visit so I can formulate an opinion for myself.

The episode begins with best friends Oscar (the elephant) and Hedgehog (take a guess) riding a boat to the titular Summer Camp Island. We immediately see their differing views about going to camp; Oscar is excited to try out organized activities while Hedgehog would prefer anything that isn't organized. Upon arriving, Oscar and his mother briefly meet Susie (the head counselor of the camp), and Oscar's mother gives mention to his transitional anxiety. Susie vows to keep a close eye on Oscar, and then all the parents leave on the boat. As soon as the boat is out of sight, Susie and the other counselors reveal themselves to be witches, and various magical things begin happening. Most notably, several inanimate objects come to life. The campers then head to their cabins, and when Oscar tries taking a few moments to relax, he keeps getting interrupted by more strangeness. For example, a peeping monster from outside wants to hang out with him, and his pajamas suddenly come to life. He decides to head to Hedgehog's cabin instead, and she promises to do something "normal" with him- in this case, they're throwing a pajama party. Unfortunately, a bunch of partygoers show up unannounced and Oscar doesn't do well in large groups. He eventually reaches a point where he's so overstimulated that he has to go outside...only to be greeted by a talking shark in the pool. The shark believes Oscar just needs some time to get accustomed to all these new things, but still gives him a choice: he can go home via a secret passage under the pool, but if he chooses to do so...HE CAN NEVER RETURN! Oscar initially chooses to go home, but after hearing his parents' conversation through the front door at the end of the passageway, he realizes he didn't give the camp a proper chance. Just before he is trapped, he races back outside the passageway and resurfaces from the pool. Hedgehog tells Oscar how glad she is that he returned, and the peeping monster from earlier takes a picture so the two can always remember their first day at Summer Camp Island. The end.

...well, damn. This show just stole OK K.O.'s crown in being the show I have the most mixed opinions on. First of all, there's one thing I really like here. Being a serious introvert, I can relate to Oscar a lot as a character. If I had the same experience that he did, I'd probably want to go home too. There's also a lot of laidback aspects to this show that usually are my cup of tea...however, said laidback nature is constantly contrasted by how goofy everything on this island is. There's not much breathing room here, in the universe of the show or out. But even with all the overstimulation, I can't help but feel this was a rather dull experience. I can't even pick out a joke I liked, but then again I don't think the show is going for a comedic vibe. If anything, the purpose of this show seems to be establishing a fantastical world that you'd want to get lost in, but as I've already stated this is not a place I'd want to be. To make a comparison, this feels like slightly better version of Mike, Lu and Og, in that this feels more mature...y'know, despite having talking inanimate objects. Man, I just feel bad. I really wanted to like this one more than I did. I tried my hardest to see if this one would do it for me, but it just never happened. It's unfortunate how the mixed bags can end up being the biggest disappointments of all.

 

THE BOTTOM LINE: Others may find quality here, but one visit to the island is enough for me. What a shame.

RATING: 5 (leaning on 5.5)/10 (meh)

 

You know what, I don't care how long it takes for the next posts to come out anymore. They'll happen when they happen. After all, we're down to our last 11 shows! Isn't that exciting enough? I bet the Wheel thinks so!

 

Spoiler

That's right. We're going back in time...

 

Stay tuned for dman's next talk-about.

[SBC What If's]

We all know that The Room (2003) is one of the most revered and beloved films in cinematic history. From the dramatic script, to the impeccable acting, and the multiple photographs of spoons, every single aspect of it has been praised to the high heavens. And I completely agree...outside of one issue. This has always been more of a personal thing, but I never really enjoyed how this movie ends (SPOILERS: JOHNNY KILLS HIMSELF). It's a total downer and always puts me out of the hysterical mood I had before. But what if I told you with just one simple change in The Room's universe, this huge problem could ultimately be prevented, along with many others? Allow me to propose this entire idea to you with an image, and suddenly all will be clear...

...okay, maybe I should elaborate a bit more.

 

Episode 33: What If...Gary the Snail Was in The Room?

 

So, let's assume that pretty much everything that happens in the opening stretch of the movie is the same. Denny engages in a harmless pillow fight, Lisa orders a pizza, we get a nice shot of Johnny's ass; these scenes are all untouched. However, let's take a look at the flower shop scene to see our first major change.

 

Clerk: It'll be $18.

Johnny: Here you go, keep the change. Hi...

Gary: Meow.

Johnny: Is the kitty real?

Clerk: I'm not sure what it is. Someone came up and told me to give him away to my favorite customer. Would you like him?

Johnny: Oh sure, Lisa will love him. *checks name tag* Hi, Gary!

Gary: Meow!

 

"Aww, that's sweet! I'm sure Gary will improve the lives of everyone in this San Fran apartment!" If that's what you're saying right now, then you better prepare yourself, because there's still a good bit of drama to be had.

 

Johnny returns to the apartment.

Johnny: Hi, babe!

Lisa: Hey, who's that there?

Johnny: This is our new son Gary.

Lisa: Can we keep him?

Johnny: Sure, he's ours.

Gary: Meow!

Lisa: Johnny, he's perfect. I love him.

Johnny: Anything for my princess!

We hear a knock on the door. Johnny answers.

Johnny: Oh hi, Denny!

Denny: We need to talk for a bit.

They walk outside. We hear muffled speech.

Denny: Johnny, what the hell is this? You said you wanted me to be your only adoptive son and now there's this Gary guy? It's supposed to be just me! You're supposed to adopt me! You're my fucking father!

Realizing this is going to take a while, Lisa dials a number.

Mark: Hello?

Lisa: This isn't working out. We need to stop seeing each other.

Mark: Oh thank god, I can't keep going behind Johnny's back like this. See ya.

After the call ends, Lisa looks at Gary and unbuttons her blouse.

Lisa: It's hot in here, huh?

Gary: Meow?

 

Upon review, jjs has requested that I do not speak of what happens in the next scene. You know what? I couldn't agree more. I know this looks really bad, but trust me when I say this still leads to a happy ending. The things I do for Johnny...

 

The apartment is now filled with several pictures of Gary.

Gary: Meow meow meow, meow meow? Meow meow meow!

Lisa: Didn't you enjoy it?

Gary: MEOW!

He speeds out of the apartment, getting Johnny and Denny's attention.

Denny: Oh. Well, that solves my problem. I better get going.

Johnny: No Gary, come back! Denny, would you please help me?

Denny: I have homework to do. Bye!

Johnny: Fuck you, Denny!

While running, Johnny runs into Mark.

Johnny: Oh hi, Mark!

Mark: What's up, Johnny?

Johnny: I'm looking for my new son. I asked Denny to help me find him but he was too much of a chicken. Cheep cheep cheep cheeeeeeep!

Mark: Wait, you mean like the snail that just went past me?

Johnny: Is that what he is?

Mark: I think he's gone, Johnny. He was headed straight for the bay.

Johnny: He can't be gone! No! We need to go home and see if Lisa knows about this.

They both go back to the apartment.

Johnny: Lisa, what happened with Gary?

Lisa: I don't want him anymore.

Johnny: Why Lisa, why? Why would you do this to me? He was our son!

Lisa: Women change their minds ALL the time.

Mark: He would have been so good for you!

Lisa: I don't think so. I don't think any of you are. I'm leaving you, Johnny.

Lisa exits the apartment.

Johnny: Get out! Get out! GET OUT OF MY LIFE! *sigh* Well, at least I have you, my best friend, Mark.

Mark: It's hot in here, huh?

 

Yep, love wins! Unfortunately, I cannot describe this final scene either. But I think we can all agree that this is a much better ending than the one we got. Johnny doesn't die after all! And it's all thanks to our favorite snail, Gary. It's such a shame he died in season 14. Though Gary may be gone, his contributions to television and film (both animated and live-action) will never be forgotten. Rest in peace.

Also, in case you were wondering, Johnny and Mark adopt Denny, Johnny finally gets his promotion, Claudette recovers from her breast cancer, Denny doesn't have a near-death experience, half the cast become pro football players, and Lisa never tears Johnny apart. What an improvement, Mark!