i am feeling very sad
i grew up with an abusive dad and i am having one of those nights where i can't stop thinking about it. he was abusive in every way possible, including sexually. i remember being very scared when i was little. i remember how no one in my family did anything to get me out of that situation. my mom's boyfriend isn't abusive, but he hates me and thinks i'm retarded ( i am autistic and i do not like being called that ) and he sees me as competition for my mom's attention which is so petty. i did have a father figure, but he started ghosting me when i tried to get in touch with him after a year, i guess that is over. i do not usually care that much, but tonight is just one of those nights and i am by myself until sunday and i just needed to get this off my chest.