Dill Clyntin

Last time on this thread, we talked about a Nicktoon that was as exciting and unique as you’d expect a cartoon called “Robot and Monster” to be. This time, we’ll be discussing a show that’s plenty more exciting and thankfully, it’s a series I’m actually familiar with. #38. “Rise of the Turtles (Part 1)” – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles [September 28, 2012] I guess I should start with my entire history with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles……..I don’t have much, actually. I mean, I definitely remember watching the 2003 cartoon and have caught a few episodes from the 1987 cartoon and remember liking both but it’s not really a franchise that really stuck through my childhood the same way SpongeBob or Pokémon has. That being said, there hasn’t been a TMNT cartoon that I haven’t really distrusted and I’d be very surprised if I end up hating this one. Well, let’s find out. Let’s grab a slice of pizza and see if our heroes in a half-shell bode well in the 2010s! The episode starts off with all the turtles and Master Splinter celebrating 15 years since their mutations happened. Leonardo suggests celebrating 15 years by heading up to the surface but Master Splinter says they lack the wisdom and maturity to go up there (I’m getting Korra flashbacks now). After a few begging and pleading, Splinter lets them go up there for the night. The Turtles go up to New York City and explore what there is to do around there. After Raphael scares off a pizza delivery boy, they come across a box of pizza and they get introduced to their signature food. After they do a lot of exploring, they head back to the sewers but before that, Donatello sees and falls in love with a girl named April O’Neill. Seeing she and her father are both taken away by a group of men in suits, the Turtles fight them off. Michelangelo defeats one of them but the man turns out to be a cyborg with a brain that attacks him. He tries to tell the rest of them but just about as he’s about to show them, it disappears. Back in the sewers, Master Splinter scolds the four for not using their powers responsibly and tells them they have to wait another year to return to the surface. After Donatello tells him about what happened with April and her father, he changes his mind and tells them to save her as a team, with Leonardo being their leader. Back in NYC, the Turtles find the logo to the van that kidnapped the O’Neills and find the kidnapper. He escapes in the van but Leonardo uses a shuriken to pop one of his tires. They approach the van when they notice a familiar thermos pop out of it. Could it be the one containing their mother? I dunno, I’m asking you guys. This was the end of the first part and I don’t really feel like watching the second part. Well, if I had any doubts about this series, they’re long gone now! While I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch every episode, it has a lot of the qualities I liked about the other two. Most of my enjoyment really comes from the banter all the characters have with each other. Michelangelo definitely has a lot of my favorite moments in the episode, some of which are the part where he gets his mind blown by the sign to a fortune teller shop, him thinking they’re gonna steal a van, and the part where he plays a guessing game while all the Turtles are waiting for the guy to show up. There’s plenty of cool action in the show to balance it out, much like Teen Titans does. So yeah, if you’re a Ninja Turtles fan, I’d probably recommend it. VERDICT: 8/10 (This is definitely—a pretty decent adaption to a franchise!) RANKINGS: Welp, we're getting pretty close to ending off the 2010s and the first half of our list. Let's consult the will of the wheel and see whether or not our trek into the 2010s continues!

Last time on this thread, we talked about one of Nick’s biggest shows and one of the longest running Nicktoons that’s still running to this very day. The same can’t be said about this show though! #37. “Monster’s Great Escape” – Robot and Monster [August 4, 2012] Folks, sometimes you come across a one-season Nicktoon that’s so great, unique, and amazing that you have to wonder what the executives were thinking canning it so early. “Robot and Monster” is not one of those shows, however. This is the kind of Nicktoon that was made to be canned. And indeed, that was the case, as it only lasted for four months in 2012 with four unaired episodes and Nick stopped rerunning it in 2014! Then it stopped airing forever! Jeez, that’s a lot of fours I said right there…anyways, the idea of this show revolves around, you guessed it, a human and vampire working at a blinking lights factory and they’re also best friends too. So it’s almost like Fanboy and Chum Chum, only with a saner character. With that description in mind, you can imagine I won’t have fun looking at this but we shall do it anyways! The episode starts out with Robot playing a prank (Sound familiar to another character Curtis Armstrong voiced, folks?) on his boss, Gart. Only problem is Monster fucks up and tells Gart they put glue on his controls because he doesn’t know how pranks work. Robot tells of when he pranked Monster back in school by placing a whoopee cushion on his seat, but this upsets him and he starts getting paranoid that he’ll be pranked next. When Robot asks why this is a big deal, Monster explained that the incident ruined his dream of becoming an escape artist through a long, convoluted line of logic. Robot teaches Monster on how to become an escape artist in different ways, his final trick being one where he must escape dangling above a pool of venomous sharks in under 30 seconds. Robot lights the rope and sits down…only to hear a whoopee cushion sound from his seat. Turns out this was all a set-up for Monster’s prank! Then Monster falls into the pool of sharks and gets his deserved just desserts. Well, I went into this show with low expectations at first and after my rewatch, it’s refreshing to see my opinion is still justified! There’s not much you can really get out of this show that you can’t get from better buddy cartoons. And while I do like Robot, I could definitely do without Monster and his sleep paralysis demon looking ass. Yet another unremarkable cartoon from this decade but on the bright side, it doesn’t look like any other future show we cover from that decade will be godawful. We’ll see. VERDICT: 4.5/10 (This is definitely a show!) RANKINGS: Well, that was a show. Save me, San Francisco Wheel Decide!

Last time on this thread, we talked a spinoff based off of one of Nick’s biggest franchises. Today, we’ll be talking about another one of their biggest cash cows……and one that’s still going on to this very day…. #44. “Left in the Dark” – The Loud House [May 2, 2016] Happy new year, everyone! Did you guys also go out, get drunk, and party? Yeah, me neither. Anyways, we’re covering quite a big show on this list. As you know, Nickelodeon has had an annoying habit of treating their non-SpongeBob cartoons badly. Whether it be a tax write-off, lack of promotion, or move to Nicktoons Network, plenty of shows on this list got canned after a year or two (if lucky) so it’s quite the surprise this one would co-rule the network! So why this one? Well, let’s get into it. First, I should mention that I have a very faint memory of liking this show around the time it premiered. I was one of those naïve people who believed that this show could really save Nickelodeon, which…..yeah, really great job it’s doing so far….but we finally have a second long-runner so great, I guess? Honestly, if you need a good analogy of my opinion on this, it mirrors that of my opinion on Rick and Morty, another long-running cartoon. I liked it around the time it was conceived but I slowly gave up on it sometime later. In fact, both shows have problematic creators so it was hard for me to support both shows any further. So with all that said, let’s take a look at this show’s first episode and see how well it aged for me! The episode starts off with a clip from Lincoln’s favorite show, Hunter Spector: Spectre Hunter. Lincoln wants to watch it but all his sisters fight over the remote around the time it comes on. He manages to distract all his sisters in many different ways, all except for Lucy (the goth girl) who wants to watch her favorite show. Lincoln tells her that she can watch her show on their old black-and-white TV, but when he plugs it in, the power goes out and all the sisters blame Lincoln for it. When Luanne (the sister who tells lame jokes) eats one of Lisa (the smart girl)’s cookies, she starts glowing and they use her as a light when they go down to the basement and fix the circuit breaker. Unfortunately, her light suddenly runs out and it’s too dark for any of them to want to go down there. Lincoln takes charge and uses Luanne’s night vision camera to see through the dark. They turn the power back on and Lincoln is ready to see his favorite show……only to find out he missed it. The sisters then sympathize with him and tell them at least he lived the show and the episode ends with Lincoln explaining that having fun with your sisters can be better than watching TV by yourself. So unfortunately, this wasn’t really the show that would save Nickelodeon and after reviewing those two really great Nicktoons, The Loud House does feel like a step down for me. Do I think it’s the worst? Of course not! I just don’t think its humor really appeals to me right now like it has back then. I must have watched a funnier episode as my first because the ones in this episode just weren’t landing. Luanne’s lame jokes and Lily, who’s only purpose is poop jokes, didn’t really help matters either. The joke with Lincoln fighting the ghost and it turns out to be a laundry basket was the closest to a laugh this episode gave me. Another issue I have with this show is the amount of characters in its main ensemble. It’s a unique concept but I won’t lie when I say it was exhausting for me to keep up with all the characters and who they are. I like me some dysfunctional family sitcoms but I’d probably rather watch “The Goldbergs” or “Malcolm in the Middle” instead. VERDICT: 5.5/10 (This is definitely a show!) RANKINGS: Alright, now it's time to see which Nicktoon's next on my list...

Last time on this thread, we talked about one of my favorite Nicktoons that got screwed over by Nick. Today, we’ll be talking about another female protagonist show that also got screwed over by the network! #36. “Welcome to Republic City” – The Legend of Korra [April 14, 2012] You know, when I started off this project, I was really expecting we’d get to Avatar before this one. Feels really weird to talk the spinoff series before the original. Anyways, “Avatar: The Last Airbender” was one of Nick’s best and most memorable series ever. It lasted from 2005 to 2008. Then after one Obama administration, we got a sequel with a totally different protagonist! Got all that, kids? Good. Now let’s delve into my experience with the show. Anyways, I remember watching the premiere of this and thinking it was an alright show. Not nearly as memorable as Last Airbender, but still pretty decent. Though I only remember watching the first season. Not sure why I didn’t check out the rest, I guess it was around the time I stopped checking Nick on the regular. Maybe I was just used to seeing it on Saturday mornings. Yeah, during its first season, Nick ran the show on Saturday mornings. Then moved to Friday nights after Season 2, and eventually dumped onto Nick.com after the second half of Season 3. Didn’t help either that I haven’t seen it advertised as much as its predecessor. So yeah, Nick screwed this show over! Well, with all that being said, I’m ready to give this show another shot! Let’s take a journey to Republic City and find out what I’ve missed all these years. Our series starts off with a narration from Avatar Aang’s son. He explains how his father and his friends ended a hundred year war with the Fire Nation and united to become a place called Republic City where both benders and non-benders can live in peace and harmony. Now that Aang’s reign as the Avatar as come to an end, someone else with the power to bend elements would have to take his place. And that someone else is none other than waterbender Korra. The episode itself opens up with a flashback 57 years after the end of the war where three members of the White Lotus arrive at the Southern Water Tribe to meet a 4-year-old Korra, who is claimed to be the next reincarnation of Aang. Cut to 13 years later, where a 17-year-old Korra is demonstrating all the element bending she’s mastered. The only element she hasn’t mastered yet is airbending. Korra suggests that she’s ready to start training with Tenzin and her waterbending master Katara (oh yeah she’s back) sends her to Republic City to train with him. She and her pet polar bear Naga set off to Republic City. Tenzin (voiced by the incomparable JK Simmons) and his children arrive on a flying bison (sadly not Appa) to meet with Katara and Korra. She wants to train with Tenzin, but he says he can’t because he has to return to Republic City to treat an unstable situation taking place there. Korra suggests going with him but the White Lotus forbids her since the city is too dangerous for her to enter. That doesn’t stop her from escaping though. Before her journey, she bids goodbye to Katara and her two parents. Korra arrives at Republic City but she and Naga cause chaos in the city, giving her a bit of a bad reputation. Since she doesn’t have any of the city’s currency, she goes to a pond and cooks up some fish. She comes across a weird man living in a bush and he tells her to run when an officer arrives and tells her that fishing in that pond is a crime. As she and Naga evade him, they come across the leader of the Equalists, who believes that the tyranny of benders against non-benders should come to an end. Korra protests against him and the leader manages to turn some of the citizens against her. Meanwhile, a group of gangsters (The Triple Threat Triad) pull into the city and ask one of the merchants if he has the money he’s looking for. Before they attack him, Korra uses all the bending powers she’s learned to attack them. As the police arrest them for causing trouble, they also arrest Korra too for the destruction she’s caused in Republic City. They chase after her and her attempts at evasion work until an aircraft captures her and Naga and takes her to court. Chief Beifong (who is the daughter of Toph btw) interrogates her and Korra tries explaining to her that she’s the successor to Avatar Aang. Commander Tenzin enters and takes responsibility for her actions, but he tells Korra that she can’t stay and that she should go back to the South Pole. However, he changes his mind after seeing his children have a warm reception to her. He enlists her help in keeping Republic City safe just like her predecessor has. Afterwards, Korra explains to the townspeople that while she doesn’t have a plan yet, she is the one who will keep their city safe. As she talks, a group of people (I assume they’re the villains?) overhear her on a radio and decide to accelerate their plans. So they are indeed the villains of the show. Well, that was Korra and just as you’d expect, I liked it just about as much as I did the original series! How does it stack against the original though? Well, I don’t know! I haven’t made it there yet! Until then though, I can still appreciate Korra on its own. Much like The Last Airbender, it’s more plot-driven with a small dose of comedic moments in-between. Some of my favorite highlights came from Tenzin’s kids, as well as the other people’s reactions to their antics. Much like Jenny, Korra is an awesome female protagonist, and while I still like Aang, I think she’s the more fun one. Bottom line, this Nicktoon is definitely worth its acclaim. Such a shame it got treated the way it did but at the very least, I’m glad people still remember it after all these years. VERDICT: 9.5/10 (It feels weird giving out this very rare rating again so soon. But you know, even the following act could be just as good and this Nicktoon truly proves that.) RANKINGS: Welp, it's the day before Christmas and I'm already getting presents from my family. Which present did you get me, Wheel?

I'll be "The Ginger-Fred Man"

Okay, I wasn’t expecting to be posting this write-up so early. That’s how prepared I was to talk about this show. Last time on this thread, I talked about Nickelodeon’s biggest cash cow and the very show that inspired a site like this. Will today’s show be any better? Well, it is one of the Nicktoons I’ve been looking forward to covering on this thread, so no duh. #21. “It Came from Next Door” – My Life as a Teenage Robot [August 1, 2003] You know, if there’s any Nicktoon out there that absolutely deserves to be called criminally underrated, it’s this one. It wasn’t X’s level of obscure or anything, you can definitely find more people who still remember and like this, though I don’t see it get mentioned a lot anymore. And compared to how all SpongeBob, Jimmy Neutron, and Fairly Oddparents got their success (memes), Teenage Robot was almost forgotten. Well, time for me to put an end to that taboo. This show rocks. Its history starts off on “Oh Yeah! Cartoons”, back when it was originally called “My Neighbor is a Teenage Robot” and it presumably was going to revolve around Brad and Tuck. By the time the show came out, it became “My Life as a Teenage Robot” and the show officially became out the teenage robot Jenny Wakeman/XJ9 herself. And although I was still too much into SpongeBob or the other of the Big Three, I did make time for this show too! I like to think of this show as Nick’s answer to The Powerpuff Girls the more you think about it. I mean, it’s a show about a girl with a scientist for a parent, who spends her time balancing saving the world from funny to downright threatening enemies and going to school at the same time. Hell, it was created by Rob Renzetti, who’s worked on The Powerpuff Girls before. Alright, time to talk about its first episode before this write-up devolves into a conspiracy. The episode begins with a baseball hitting a window to someone’s house and we see our secondary protagonists, teenager Brad and his little brother Tuck. Brad asks Tuck to retrieve his baseball from the mysterious house. When he gets inside, he notices a robot greeting him and starts running towards the door. When he explains to Brad what he saw, Brad decides to go over to Dr. Wakeman’s to explain about the broken window. As they walk off, Tuck tells Brad that he forgot to ask about the robot she had. While Brad initially calls him on his bullshit, he looks at the window and sees the robot he was talking about. We cut to Jenny’s room when her mother explains to her that she was designed to save the world and that she can’t leave unless there’s a crisis. But Jenny doesn’t wanna spend all her life doing that, she just wants to explore the world of teens! She then meets Brad and asks him about what the teenage life is like. Though she’ll be in trouble if her mother finds anyone else interacting with her. Brad gets her to come outside by grabbing her right arm. He encourages Jenny to hang out with him and Tuck (who doesn’t trust her considering she’s a robot) but the meteor alarm starts going off. She then decides “fuck it” and hangs out with the two. After a montage, Jenny’s pigtails start ringing, indicating there’s a giant meteor approaching and that it’s gonna hit the Earth in 5 minutes. She heads up to space with Tuck accidentally stuck to her to fight the meteor using lots of cool weapons in her arsenal. When she finally defeats it, she and Tuck head back to Earth, the latter looking burnt to death. He finally warms up to her and decides that Jenny is cool. They hang out and Dr. Wakeman gives her the afternoon off considering the world isn’t in peril right now. Cue a bunch of spaceships approaching Earth. Well, it’s been years since I watched this and I’m happy to say my opinion on this show hasn’t dwindled at all! In fact, the opposite happened. Maybe it won’t have the meme status other shows like SpongeBob and Jimmy do but I actually think it worked in this show’s favor. It definitely helps highlight all the smart jokes this show has. Some of my favorites include Tuck repeatedly kicking Jenny the next time he finds her, Brad digging himself deeper when he accidentally calls Dr. Wakeman weird, the fish who freak out after Jenny throws the meteor piece into a fish tank, and Jenny’s 100% accurate Dr. Wakeman impression. And most of all, I like how fun of a protagonist Jenny is! Any time in the show where she ends up invoking a typical teenager stereotype is entertaining and any moment she fights someone is bound to be badass. And can I point out it’s fucking great we have a protagonist who actually stands up whenever someone else mislabels her? Truly the most progressive protagonist in Nicktoon history. Only reason I’m not rating this a 10 is because I find Tuck to be a really annoying character. Though he still has some moments in the series I still find funny. But that small little nitpick couldn’t even tank this show. I’ve still got a lot more Nicktoons in this thread to cover and I can’t guarantee it’ll be my favorite on this entire list, but it definitely deserves a spot on my Top 5. VERDICT: XJ9.5/10 (My rating for this show was the best pun I could come up with.) RANKINGS: Well, that was a tough act to follow! Now let's see which Nicktoon could possibly follow that act.

Last time on this thread, I talked about yet another Nicktoon from the first dynasty of Nicktoons. Today, we’ll be headed to the very end of that decade and talk about one of the big three Nicktoons I remember watching a lot as a kid! And it’s arguably the biggest one of them all…. #12. “Help Wanted” – SpongeBob SquarePants [May 1, 1999] You know, I like to exaggerate around here about how much I really hate SpongeBob. But if I’m to be real here, this Nicktoon was practically my life as a kid. Where to begin? One of my first Halloween costumes was SpongeBob, I collected almost every DVD that came out, played both Creature from the Krusty Krab and the movie game, and practically every new episode that aired felt like a big event to me. Hell, if I actually hated it, I wouldn’t have found my way onto both this site and SpongeBuddy Mania. So yeah, for better and worse, SpongeBob SquarePants shaped my life and even though I grew out of watching it on a daily basis somewhere in the mid-2010s, I cannot deny the impact it’s had on my life over the years. There, now that I have my personal history out of the way, let’s talk about the first episode! All of you guys know the basis of the show anyways and considering this is the shortest episode I’ve covered so far, this write-up will be a breeze! Our episode starts off with our titular sponge getting ready for today, as it’s the day SpongeBob decides to apply for a job at the Krusty Krab! Only problem is SpongeBob doesn’t feel like he’s gonna get the job. One of his neighbors and best friend Patrick Star comes in and slaps some sense into him. Filled with confidence, SpongeBob marches into the Krusty Krab and applies for the job, much to his other neighbor Squidward’s chagrin. His first impression to him and Mr. Krabs fails as he starts flopping out of nervousness. They decide to trick SpongeBob into doing the impossible task of finding a hydro-dynamic spatula so he’s too distracted to come back to the Krusty Krab. The conflict of our story sets in when buses full of anchovies arrive. They start acting unruly towards Krabs and Squidward as SpongeBob’s too busy shopping for a spatula. As they start fearing for their lives, SpongeBob comes back with an actual hydro-dynamic spatula (with port and starboard attachments and turbo drive too!) and serves all the anchovies Krabby Patties in under a minute to Tiny Tim music. And finally, Mr. Krabs hires SpongeBob as his fry cook. So there you have my regurgitation of an episode you’ve watched 100 times by now and yeah, no surprise, it still ages well! There are other episodes of this show that are much funnier and better but that’s not to say this one didn’t have any highlights either. From Patrick’s motivational speech to Squidward “vouching” for SpongeBob to the very end with SpongeBob serving Patrick a bunch of Krabby Patties, this episode is really packed with memorable moments even with its limited run-time. Calling it the best Nicktoon would be too bit of an exaggeration and also obvious but for the absolute impact this show had on my life, I’d be crazy not to put it somewhere in my Top 10. VERDICT: 9/10 (A timeless classic, what can I say? Also, please let this show die, Nick.) RANKINGS: Well, we're officially 15 shows down! Time to see which Nicktoon the wheel gives me next!

Last time on this thread, I talked about a Nicktoon that I thought was the worst one ever on this list. Which makes this next show an improvement? I guess? #3. “Stimpy’s Big Day” – The Ren and Stimpy Show [August 11, 1991] Well, it’s the day before the holiday where you puke your guts out after eating too much food so how about we celebrate by talking about a Nicktoon that’s guaranteed to make you puke your guts out too? We discussed one of the first original three a while back with Rugrats and this time we’ll be talking about the most infamous out of all of them. Most of its infamy coming from how awful of a person its creator was, but also because it was really that strange of a show! Yeah, compared to your average Nicktoon, Ren and Stimpy feels like that weird middle ground between 2 Stupid Dogs and Fritz the Cat in which you’re watching a typical cartoon about dysfunctional pets, but it also feels like something your parents wouldn’t want you watching. We’ll be talking about where this canine/feline duo got their start from and see if it still makes me happy and joyous as it did before. Our episode begins with Stimpy watching The Muddy Mudskipper Show and a sponsor for Gritty Kitty Kitty Litter. The commercial mentions a contest where you write to them about how much you love their product and the winner gets to go to Hollywood and appear on The Muddy Mudskipper Show. Stimpy, naturally, gets excited about this and writes a letter to them. Ren says Stimpy is wasting his time trying to deliver that letter as he thinks contests are scams but to his dismay, Stimpy still delivers his letter. The next morning, two men come to their house telling Ren that Stimpy has won $47 million and he gets to go to Hollywood and appear on The Muddy Mudskipper Show. Ren gets angry and jealous because he wanted that money but then starts to cry because he’ll miss Stimpy. The rest of the main plot is Stimpy getting ready for the show and it ends there because this is the first part of a two-part episode. And pretty much everything after is a segment where Stimpy gives out breakfast tips. The end. So final impression: This was okay. Of all the three first Nicktoons, this one would be my least favorite out of all of them, but at the same time, I can’t deny it had its fair share of funny episodes too! I just wish this was one of those episodes. Not much of substance happens here and it’s really more of a setup for the next episode. I will say, I dig some of the weird interstitial segments like Stimpy’s breakfast tips or the Log commercial at the beginning, though it’s mostly because it reminds me of how Sheep in the Big City would advertise their weird products in between its episodes. Its humor is definitely not for everyone and I still prefer Rocko when it comes to Nicktoons with subtle adult references, but I would argue that it could always be worse! VERDICT: 7/10 (No sir, I don’t hate it. That doesn't mean I exactly love it either.) RANKINGS: Well, that was a decent talk, but let's see if we can talk about an even better show! Without further to-do...

… … … I guess I’m reviewing Breadwinners now. #41. “Thug Loaf” – Breadwinners [February 17, 2014] Apologies for the lack of typical introduction but when it came to all the Nicktoons on my list, this was the one I was least looking forward to checking out on here. And I wasn’t sure how to approach this one since, well, practically everyone’s laid into this show a lot better than I have. Should I just pull a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and just describe the cartoon as terrible and be dead fucking serious while doing so? But then I thought, “nah”. I mean, it is a cartoon I haven’t watched in ages so it is possible I’ve been too harsh on it. I wouldn’t want to be one of those internet people who still calls a bad cartoon from the 2010s the bane of my existence and use it to compare to other short-lived shows on the network, even though I’m almost 27 and I should probably move on from it. You know, those kinds of people. Anyways, Breadwinners, like Making Fiends and Mr. Meaty, originated as an internet short about two ducks who deliver bread over town. Some Nick executives saw it and were like “Yeah, let’s make 77 more episodes of this” and thus the Breadwinners were born. But is it really as bad as I thought it was at 15? Or should I still leave it for the birds? Let’s find out. The episode begins with our protagonists……..oy……SwaySway and Buhdeuce delivering bread all over the town. Things are great up until they run out of houses to deliver and they only have 12 loaves of bread left! Suddenly they get an order for 12 loaves of bread, but it’s located on the most dangerous side of Ducktown, the Lower Yeast Side (geddit?). As their motto states, they’ll have to deliver it despite whatever they’ll face. In their case, it’s hoodlum ducks. So they try and make it to the house without making any eye contact with the other ducks there. They meet the duck, give them bread, and do a victory dance. The end. …..I wish. The two find themselves trapped outside of their van because SwaySway left the keys in the rocket van. To make shit worse for them, a group of biker ducks arrive. They try and befriend the ducks by disguising themselves as bikers and tell them there’s bread inside their van…..even though there aren’t any. Realizing they’ve been had, the leader tries to attack SwaySway but Buhdeuce lands on him (the leader) and gets him eaten by a monster, making Buhdeuce the new leader of the Biker Ducks! Buhdeuce doesn’t want to be a leader but SwaySway tells him to never give up again, for 30 seconds. This show, man. Anyways, they trick all the ducks again by taking a group picture of them and drive out of town. The ducks then prepare for their next adventure. The end. …..again, I wish. The Biker Ducks, as well as that monster from the alley, appear in the back of their van and are about to attack them but Buhdeuce does a booty kick (I may need a shower after typing all this btw) and releases them all into the pond. We finally close off with yet another victory dance and an annoying musical number about how Buhdeuce saved the day using his butt. That was a sentence I said. Okay, now it’s the end. My initial opinion on this show was that it was an obnoxious cringe-fest that tried to be hip towards kids and failed absolutely. But after 11 years and after re-watching the first episode, I can safely say that Breadwinners…………was just as bad as I thought it was. The main characters are too obnoxious, the slang they use feels like they came 7 years too late, and the humor is painfully unfunny. Even the jokes I mildly chuckled at, I could not remember. This truly is the lowest common denominator when it comes to Nicktoons. We’ll see if other shows like Bunsen is a Beast are bad enough to dethrone it but so far, this is my least favorite Nicktoon on here. VERDICT: 2/10 (Indeed, they can’t all be winners) RANKINGS: Alright, that entry completely drained me. But given that we finally got through the show I was gonna call the worst, I can safely say the next show will be a palate cleanser. And that next show is....

Last time, I talked about the one Nicktoon from a decade I was familiar with that I never really watched growing up. This time, we talk about a Nicktoon from a less familiar decade that I definitely know about. #7. “Your Real Best Friend” – KaBlam! [October 11, 1996] You know, there were a handful of ‘90s Nicktoons I haven’t really caught growing up that I ended up liking later thanks to a little site I found called Nick Reboot. Among the many shows that played on there was this little showcase of cartoons called “KaBlam!” and as you’d expect, I loved it just about as much as everyone else on the site did. I mean, it had cartoons! It had ska! It had They Might Be Giants music videos! And rather than just be a typical showcase like “Oh Yeah Cartoons” was, “KaBlam!” has two animated hosts named Henry and June, who would introduce the sketches as well as have their own adventures. And while the show never really spun off successfully as the other one did, it was definitely the more exciting one. Let’s get to it, shall we? Sniz & Fondue: A Toxic Tail: We get to our first cartoon, Sniz & Fondue, a cartoon about two ferret roommates who can’t get along. In this one, Fondue gets tired of Sniz messing up his room so he decides to buy a Madagascar scorpion from an exotic pet shop. However, the tank accidentally breaks and the scorpion’s wandering around the house and he and the family must stop it. The scorpion ends up on Fondue’s back so Sniz slaps it off using a tennis racket and the little kid in the family kills it using her shovel. In the end, Fondue settles on letting Sniz jump on his bed as long as he charges him for each use. Action League Now: Road to Ruin: Our next cartoon involves a group of sentient action figures who form a superhero team called the Action League and their task this time is to stop the Mayor (who is the main villain of the show) from dropping trash over town. They chase after his car but the Actionmobile ends up falling off a cliff and landing on Thunder Girl (who actually bailed out on him mid-fall). They face off against the Mayor but as you might expect, their tiny car had nothing on the Mayor’s and they get crushed. Think that’s how it ended? Nope! The Mayor ends up driving off a cliff and the Action League surviving laugh. Life with Loopy: Hi-Fi Frankenstein: Our next cartoon is a slice-of-life adventure centered around a girl named Loopy and the adventures she has, narrated by her brother Larry. After she mishears Larry call her a “goober”, she makes her own friend named Frank out of parts from her dad’s stereo system. But Larry’s sensed that something’s going on around the house when all of their other appliances went missing. Turns out Frank has started an uprising against humanity. Larry and Loopy team up and fight them off. Afterwards, they both hang out together and listen to music. Prometheus and Bob: Our last short is arguably my favorite out of all of them. The premise is simple: You’ve got an alien named Prometheus trying to teach a caveman named Bob some of future’s greatest inventions and it either ends up going wrong due to the monkey or Bob’s incompetence. This episode’s shorts revolved around them learning about art and bowling. Funny shit, man. And that was KaBlam! I was gonna summarize some of the Henry and June wraparounds but those ones didn’t really have a specific plot this time. There are more episodes of this show that have more interesting plot points for them. That being said, this show is still pretty solid! Prometheus and Bob, as you’ve read above, is my main highlight of the show but let’s not discount any others like Action League and Sniz and Fondue, which were just as entertaining and have their own share of highlights. In general, it’s just a fun show and an excellent tribute to comic animation in general. VERDICT: 9/10 (No matter which time or network you watch this on, it’ll be KaBlammerific!) RANKINGS: Well, that was fun! Whatever show we've got up next, I'm ready for it!

Last time, I talked about a Nicktoon from the 2000s that I was very familiar with. This time, we’ll be talking about a show on the opposite side of that spectrum. Yes, we’re gonna be talking about the most obscure Nicktoon on this list, which is somehow fitting since it’s a Nicktoon about secret agents! #25. “AAIIEE, Robot!” – The X’s [November 25, 2005] (aw yeah check out this low res nick logo quality) Growing up watching Nick in the 2000s, I knew about a lot of shows that aired on the network at the time. Even Catscratch. Even Tak and the Power of Juju. Even Mr. fuckin Meaty. That said, there were also some Nicktoons on my list I never really watched. There’s another example of that on this list but I was able to catch that one a decade later. This one? I know next to nothing about it. I’ve never watched it, I’ve never met anyone who’s really watched it, I haven’t seen it on any Nick Rewinds, I haven’t seen any happy reviews, I haven’t seen any angry reviews, and pretty much the only time I’ve heard it being brought up is in videos talking about lost Nick shows. I only remember it being used for transitions for Turbo Nick’s mashup section, which I was absolutely addicted to using back in the day. And even that never really convinced me to watch the show. Well, it’s been almost 20 years since this show came out so looks like I’ll have to check it out now! Today’s mission? Watch the one 2000s Nicktoon I haven’t seen. But first, we’ll take a look at the intro, which is one of those standard explain the plot intros. Okay so we’ve got the leader, Mr. X, the Patrick Warburton voiced bumbling father. Mrs. X is his wife and a combat specialist of the group. Their daughter, Tuesday, the investigator, and son Truman who’s tech savvy. They form the organization S.U.P.E.R.I.O.R. and must stop the villain group S.N.A.F.U, led by a guy with a bug zapper for a helmet. And all of this is being narrated by Homebase, the TV. This is X-rested Development. We begin the episode with all the X’s facing Glowface (the real name of that bug zapper guy). Mrs. X tries to fight him but she injures her shin by running into a coffee table. Mr. X and Truman try to fight him, but Glowface escapes by taxi. With Mrs. X injured for a few months, Truman comes up with a temporary fix by replacing her with a robot. That way, they could still fight evil as she heals up. Their first mission takes place at an art museum, where they must protect an ambassador from being attacked, though the mission is ruined when Robomom ends up attacking him. Not wanting Mrs. X to think they’re all failures, they lie to her and say the mission was a success. Though this makes her believe the family doesn’t need her anymore. Their next mission continues where they left off when they were fighting SNAFU. Glowface has returned to his base since the X’s forgot to blow it up when they had the chance. The Robomom accidentally destroys the ship’s communication system and Homebase loses touch with the X’s, so it decides to talk some sense into Mrs. X, letting her know they still need her. So she arrives at the SNAFU base on a rocket-powered wheelchair she made. And she manages to wipe out all the people in the base like a badass. Glowface hides behind the coffee table that injured her before but that doesn’t stop her as she just evades it and defeats Glowface just before the rest of the X’s arrive. She gives her family a rousing speech and destroys the robot while doing so. They then return home to watch Spanish soap operas. The end. So that was The X’s! How do I feel about this show? Well…it’s not really a show I would want to revisit but at the same time, I did like some of what I’ve seen. There were some funny gags here and there, some of which include Mr. X dressed up like a child as seen above, the running gag of the robot destroying Mr. X, the Spanish soap operas Mrs. X watches in bed, and her mundane solution I mentioned above. And I definitely dig the 1960s inspired setting of the show. So final conclusion? It’s alright. VERDICT: 7/10 (There are many Nicktoons I would recommend more than this show but I ended up liking this one more than I expected. Though it would definitely be better kept secret.) RANKINGS: And with that, I can now say I have watched an episode of all the Nicktoons of the 2000s. So what's next, Wheel?

Last time, I talked about a Nicktoon that was very influential when it came to ’90s Nickelodeon. Not to mention the first Nicktoon to be made into a movie. Which makes it ironic that the next show following that one was the first Nickelodeon movie to ever be made into a Nicktoon. That’s right! This is the theme song of…. #19. “When Pants Attack” – Jimmy Neutron [July 20, 2002] Alright, so we finally get to our first 2000s Nicktoon on my list! I know what I said about Fanboy, but that one started at the end of the decade so I barely count it. Jimmy Neutron, on the other hand, is one of the most quintessential Nicktoons of its decade. Growing up, it was this and two other shows I remember watching a lot on Nick and for damn good reason too! Much like the other two, Jimmy Neutron was responsible for a lot of the meme culture I still enjoy today. So what do you say we take a look at one of those episodes right now? Gotta blast! The episode starts out with Jimmy and Carl trying to test out one of his inventions, which is an emergency escape system that launches Carl into the air with his pants left behind. This reminds Jimmy that he still hasn’t picked up all the pants he has lying on the ground in his room. His mom, Judy, punishes him by not letting him go to the movies with his friends. When she mentions that pants don’t pick themselves up, Jimmy decides to invent a nanochip that allows the pants to pick themselves up so he doesn’t have to. His dad, Hugh, comes in and gives Jimmy a rousing speech on how important it is to pick up pants but he doesn’t need it when the nanochip becomes a success. Thus, his punishment is lifted and he can finally go to the movies with his friends. The next day at school, we get to see some of the other characters on the show, like the very snobby Cindy and Libby, as well as the Ultra Lord fanatic himself, Sheen Estevez. As Jimmy is in class fighting with Cindy over the history of origami, the nanochip in his pants starts going off, making him suddenly move out of control. It starts affecting the pants of Cindy, Carl, and Sheen too, as they all fly off their bodies too. Jimmy, Carl, and Sheen head off to his lab so they can find out what’s going on. Turns out the pants are going all over to control each and every pair of pants there is in Retroville. They set off to downtown and try to stop the situation (with copyrighted music too!) using his patented Pants Eliminator. It works on all the others, except for Jimmy’s, which just reflects the pins back to him. While his is in the House of Blue Pants, it starts growing stronger and starts controlling the other pants inside. Jimmy comes out of Lucky Joe’s Cleaners with a washing machine he’s able to control. He uses the machine’s main functions (starch, iron presses, fabric softener, the works) to stop each and every pair of pants invading the city. When he runs out of weapons to stop his pants, he uses his iconic brain blast to think of a solution based off past events in the episode. With enough static electricity, he’s able to short out the nanochip and save the day! Though as the boys try to head to the movies, Judy scolds him and tells him to pick up all the pants in town. The end. So is this the first Jimmy Neutron episode I would recommend to others? Nah. But it definitely sets up the whole premise of the show. Jimmy has an impractical problem, invents something to solve it, it goes out of control, and he has to fix it before he faces dire consequences. Even as formulaic as it sounds, the show definitely finds a way to make it interesting and funny! That’s not to say that this episode didn’t have its moments too because it definitely did. Some of my favorite highlights include Carl’s “Folding and Hanging” song, Sheen’s incorrect gender Ultra Lord figure and its lines, and last but not least, HUGH NEUTRON. Hugh has some of my favorite lines of the episode, from his inspiring speech about Luke Skywalker and Attila the Hun hanging up their pants to lawn mowing without pants to him interrogating his own pants……is it any wonder why people say he’s the funniest character on the show? So bottom line, this show still ages well! Would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for some great laughs. VERDICT: 8.5/10 (Maybe it’s not groundbreaking enough for me to put it up with Rugrats and Rocko but it is definitely a blast! Of the brain kind.) RANKINGS: Well, that was a pleasant trip to the 2000s! I hope the Wheel is generous enough to give me another show from that decade that I totally heard of and remember watching a lot!

Last time, I talked about a Nicktoon from the end of a great decade that started a slight decline when it came to quality Nicktoons. Thankfully, we’ve got the opposite situation here as we’re talking about one of the three original Nicktoons! And fittingly, we begin it with its most popular one. #2. “Tommy’s First Birthday” – Rugrats [August 11, 1991] Here’s a history lesson for you alphas out there! Before there was this thing called a “SpongeBob”, this used to be the longest running Nicktoon everyone liked to complain about, spanning a total of 13 years! And we can’t forget about the spinoffs, All Grown Up and the 2021 reboot, either. Wasn’t there another one that took place in pre-school too? Anyways, as someone born at the end of the 90s, my Rugrats experience mainly came from the later episodes where Dil and Kimi were introduced. It wouldn’t be until the 2010s when I watched earlier episodes (one of them being the iconic chocolate pudding one) and suffice to say, it was very interesting seeing them focus more on the adults than the kids in the first season! We’re gonna be tackling one of those episodes of course, because a Nicktoons reviewer’s gotta do what a Nicktoons reviewer’s gotta do. The episode starts off with main parents Stu and Didi Pickles wishing their son Tommy a happy birthday. As they try to feed him pudding (of the chocolate kind, whether it was made in the morning or not is unspecified), Tommy notices an ad for Huskie’s Choice Dog Food and he decides he wants to eat some of that instead of the stuff Stu tries to feed him. He distracts him by spilling pudding over his tie and uses a screwdriver to unscrew him from his baby seat. He crawls over to Spike(TV) the dog’s food bowl and tries to eat it, but he gets stopped by Grandpa Lou. Next scene is where more of the characters enter, mainly the Devilles (Phil, Lil, Betty, and Howard) and Chuckie Finster with a widowed dad. When the parents notice Spike chewing up a teddy bear, they run to him, which gives Tommy the perfect opportunity to tell the other kids about his quest to get dog food. His logic is that if he eats dog food, he’ll act just like Spike (who we see is very energetic). We finally come across the last of the main cast (for now), Tommy’s very spoiled cousin Angelica. She’s known for antagonizing the rest of the babies. That being said, she goes along with Tommy’s idea of getting dog food. As Tommy tries going over to Spike’s bowl again, he is stopped and greeted by his grandparents and Didi’s parents. They take him over to the living room so he can open up his presents, some of what include Drew’s toy truck, Stu’s hover toy, and Howard’s walkie talkies. As Tommy starts crying in an attempt to get out of opening his presents, the doorbell rings and as it turns out, Didi only ordered a puppet stage with no puppeteers. So Stu and Drew (which I now just realized their names rhyme) volunteer to be the puppeteers. The two put on a puppet version of Little Red Riding Hood but then they start fighting like they did the last time they did this. Cue Tommy trying to reach Spike’s food bowl again. Spike exits the kitchen and the babies think Tommy turned into a dog. But Spike’s food bowl was empty, so Tommy tries to reach another can of dog food. Chuckie comes up with the idea of putting batteries into the remote of Stu’s toy and knocking down the can with it. Phil and Chuckie start fighting over the remote as Tommy grabs the toy, leaving him and Angelica trapped. Lil uses the remote to try and save them, though Angelica lands in a bag of flour and the babies end up causing a huge mess in the kitchen. As the hovertoy rolls into the living room, Tommy ends up getting saved by Spike, though the toy also ends up ruining Tommy’s birthday cake. Although it seems the party was a disaster, it doesn’t matter much to the babies because they finally get to taste dog food. Of course, the babies end up not liking it at first (sans Phil and Lil who both don’t mind eating gross things) but they start thinking they’ve become dogs after eating. They crawl into the living room and Grandpa Lou takes a picture of the whole family for their family album, featuring other pictures taken during Tommy’s first birthday. The end. So it’s no surprise this show ended up being the biggest highlight when it comes to Nicktoons! They took the simple concept of childhood innocence and made some pretty entertaining stories out of it. And it also balances those stories with relatable ones featuring the adults too! As much as I was amused with the plot of the babies trying to eat dog food, the other plot with the adults setting up the party had its highlights too. Stu and Drew failing to perform a puppet show gave me some great laughs, along with Grandpa Lou’s rambling stories regarding what he did during his youthful days. Needless to say, this show truly appeals to everyone, including dumb babies. VERDICT: 9/10 (A truly iconic cartoon that would carry off into the rest of the decade! That is, until another Nicktoon took over its crown but we’ll get there when we get there.) RANKINGS: Well, that was a nice show! We'll see if the next show can possibly top that and that show is....

I'll be "The Walking Fred"