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JCM

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Posts posted by JCM

  1. JCM Un-ironically Saves a Superhero While the Grim Reaper Accidentally Castrates a Dolphin

    (JCM, bored in class, throws a crumpled up piece of paper at the trash can and misses. He shrugs and continues listening to jjstheenglishprofessor's lecture.)

    Voice: What is that I hear?

    (A boy in a Superman costume breaks into the window, picks up the paper, and respectfully drops it into the trash can.)

    jjstheenglishprofessor: Person, what the fuck are you doing in tights?

    person: I'm not person! I'm SBC's crime-fighting superhero, Super Hero!

    jjstheenglishprofessor: Wow, that's fucking creative. Get the fuck out of my class, and fix my fucking window!

    Super Hero: No, fuck you! (points at JCM) Fiend! Don't you know that littering is against the law?

    JCM: I'm sorry! I didn't know! Please don't melt my pancreas with your laser beam eyes! It has carbohydrates to metabolize!

    Super Hero: Alright, fine. But if catch you doing another heinous act, you're going down like Katy Perry on every black actor in Hollywood! (jumps out the window)

    jjstheenglishprofessor: You're on the third floor, you fucking asshole!

    (A loud thump is heard.)

    Voice: SUPER HERO needs a medical assistant.

    (At art class, Steel Sponge discusses perspective and other boring stuff. As CDCB reads his Playboy, he slides a stick of gum into his mouth.)

    person: (stands up) Mr. Steel, can I use the restroom?

    Steel Sponge: No! I'm about to cover something important.

    Elastic Dog: That'll be a first.

    person: (running out) Thank you very much, sir!

    Steel Sponge: Person! Goddamn it!

    Elastic Dog: (turns to JCM) So what do you think? Is he about to go into one of his acts?

    JCM: Acts? What are you talking about?

    (Super Hero breaks down the door with a giant hammer.)

    Steel Sponge: What the fuck, person? There's this extremely useful invention called a doorknob!

    Super Hero: Not now, law abiding citizen! I have work to do! (points to CDCB) Spit out that gum, you heathen!

    CDCB: What's with the getup, person?

    Super Hero: I am not person! Don't you see my super suit and super strength and super speed?

    CDCB: And you're a super freak. Super freak. You're super freakay.

    Super Hero: And you're a super idiot!

    CDCB: What the fuck? (slaps Super Hero silly and drags him to the principal's office by ear) Clappy, this little bitch insulted my intelligence! Whip his ass!

    Clappy: Is this true, person?

    Super Hero: (rips off suit) It wasn't me! It was Super Hero! I swear!

    Clappy: ExKizuna!

    (ExKizuna comes into the office, snaps person in half, and throws him out the window. JCM runs in right afterward.)

    JCM: (fights back tears) What have you done with Super Hero?

    Clappy: Mind your own business, JCM.

    JCM: No! All he tried to do was save us from ourselves! Why can't you people understand this?

    Clappy: (turns to Ex) Do you understand any of this shit?

    (Ex shakes his head and throws JCM out the window. JCM lands next to a crying, bleeding person.)

    JCM: Don't let them get you down, Super Hero. They're all part of the conspiracy.

    person: No, they're right. I'm no Super Hero. I'm...person.

    JCM: No, don't say that! You're one of the last good ones we have left!

    person: I have a broken spirit. And a broken spine.

    JCM: You're Super Hero! Say it three times and you'll know it's true!

    person: I'm superhero. I'm Super Hero. I'm Super Hero! (glues his body back together and stands up) I'm fixed! (bends down backwards)

    JCM: I knew you had it in ya!

    Super Hero: I knew I had it in me, too. I'm going to see if Belk has any Superman costumes left, then I'm going to take down that jaywalker over there! Trek now, evildoer! You haven't seen the last of me!

    Jaywalker: Fuck you!

    (Out in the ocean, the Grim Reaper relaxes on a cruise ship.)

    Grim Reaper: Just what my complexion needs. A nice, long break from it all. Hey, a dolphin.

    (A dolphin soars over the Grim Reaper's head. After feeling a few drops of blood on his face, he looks at his scythe and the surprise attached to it.)

    Grim Reaper: OH MY GOD I CHOPPED ITS BALLS OFF

    (The End)

  2. Everyone traded them at my elementary school, but I thought of it as a waste of time and money. Now my cousin's obsessed with Yugioh cards, and my lack of experience is getting me beat by a ten year old every summer. -_-

  3. Oh, and I haven't actually read the whole series yet. I only said graphic novels don't get better because when I did read the third or fourth book several years ago, I had trouble putting it down.

  4. I've never noticed that. In fact, the order has always been pretty random in my eyes. If an episode slips in two or three times in a week or even a day, the chances that you'll see it again anytime soon should be small.

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