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JCM

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Posts posted by JCM

    JCMovies

    in Davy Jones' Locker

    Posted

    JCM Hangs With the SpongeBuddies While the Grim Reaper Donates Blood

    (JCM walks into the janitor lounge and sees Steve Urkel eating melted cheese at a table.)

    JCM: tvguy347?

    Steve Urkel: JCMboy, me bob! I need you to get these banjos to my heterosexual companion at SpongeBuddy Middle School Registered Trademark! (takes banjos from under table and drops them) Did I do thaaat?

    JCM: Um, OK. (picks up banjos and leaves)

    Steve Urkel: This isn't melted cheese! This is yellow paint! Oh, well. (digs in)

    (JCM takes the banjos to SpongeBuddy Middle School, and he runs into Mothra there.)

    Mothra: JCM? I thought we ran you off.

    JCM: Torches and pitchforks don't faze me! I endured the Holocaust!

    Mothra: Oh, you're a survivor?

    JCM: No, a Nazi.

    Mothra: I shouldn't have asked. (walks to her classroom)

    JCM: (shrugs and turns) SBRoxMan!

    SBRoxMan: ::dolphin noise:: you!

    JCM: (shrugs and turns) RedSoxFan!

    RedSoxFan274: ::dolphin noise:: you!

    JCM: (shrugs and turns) The Dark Knight!

    Dark Knight: (gravelly) Say one more word to me and I'll chop your balls off with these bat-shaped throwing devices.

    JCM: (crying) I just want to know where tvguy's heterosexual companion is!

    Dark Knight: tvlover? He's in ssj's class.

    JCM: You mean jjs?

    Dark Knight: Who the ::dolphin noise:: is jjs?

    (JCM marches into ssj4gogita4's class while beating his banjos.)

    ssj4gogita4: (shushes him) They're having naptime.

    JCM: (loudly) Boy, do I miss naptime. Where's tvlover?

    ssj4gogita4: Please leave before I'm forced to taser you again.

    Spongey34: (over intercom) Attention, students! It's time for your daily newbreak!

    Students: (waking up) ::dolphin noise:: you, Spongey!

    JCM: Where do those dolphin chirps come from, anyway?

    ssj4gogita4: It's middle school, ::dolphin noise::tard. They come naturally.

    JCM: tvlover?

    ssj4gogita4: spongedude! God ::dolphin noise::ing ::dolphin noise:: it!

    (At spongedude's room, JCM rolls the banjos in.)

    JCM: You're with abney now?

    abney317: Nice to see you again too, butthole.

    spongedude: If you're looking for tvlover, he's with the librarian.

    JCM: You have a library?

    spongedude: No, we have a librarian.

    (At the librarian's lounge, JCM walks in on DJ Sponge and bookworm having sex.)

    JCM: tvlover?

    bookworm: Get the fuck out!

    JCM: What happened to the dolphin-

    (bookworm literally kicks JCM out of the lounge, and JCM rolls to the bathroom door.)

    JCM: Now how will I find-

    Ricky Ricardo: (opens bathroom door, knocking JCM out) Oh Lucy, I'm home! (looks down) Hey, my banjos! My heterosexual companion must have left these for me! He's getting a prooty good surprise this evening!

    (At the Red Cross down the street, the Grim Reaper walks up to the receptionist.)

    Grim Reaper: How does it look? Can I donate blood?

    Receptionist: According to our records, you're ten trillion pounds too light to donate blood.

    Grim Reaper: Am I still getting paid?

    Receptionist: Get the fuck out.

    Grim Reaper: Yes, ma'am. (leaves)

    (The End)

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