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JCM

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Posts posted by JCM

    SBC-TV News

    in Bulletin Board

    Posted

    um, yeah I guess :P with a lot of enthusiasm now and then lol, but I feel I kind of speak differently in Spanish..IDK

    Oh, I didn't know you were of Spanish descent. Doesn't make your voice work any less impressive, however.

    Also, I just noticed that my post about not being in SBC News again got into this SBC News. I'm not sure if that was intentional, but it's still awesome. :cool:

    Last Thing You Bought?

    in Robot-Pirate Island

    Posted

    What: Sony Surround Sound/3D Blu-ray Player (6 speakers)

    Where: Best Buy

    How Much: $500

    What: Rocketfish™ - 4' Digital Optical Audio Cable

    Where: Best Buy

    How Much: $25

    What: Pulp Fiction [blu-ray]

    Where: Best Buy

    How Much: $15

    What: Transformers: Dark of the Moon [blu-ray]

    Where: Best Buy

    How Much: $30

    What: Final Destination [blu-ray]

    Where: Best Buy

    How Much: $10

    Total: ~$633

    And I didn't spend a single penny. ;)

    What? How? I want in on this! :o

    JCMovies

    in Davy Jones' Locker

    Posted

    JCM Crashes a Party While the Grim Reaper Fudges Up Again

    (ExKizuna stands in front of a mansion's door and checks his watch. He looks up to find JCM dressed like a fairy and staring at him.)

    ExKizuna: Can I help you?

    JCM: I'd like to go into teenj's party. You'll see that my costume more than befits the requirements. (curtsies)

    ExKizuna: teenj's fairy godmother is not on the list.

    JCM: I'm not teenj's fairy godmother! I'm JCM, the manliest man on any list!

    ExKizuna: You're not on this list. Sorry.

    JCM: What?

    ExKizuna: Just kidding. I'm not sorry. Get the fuck away from me.

    JCM: Well, since you said you were kidding... (walks in)

    (EXKizuna grabs JCM and throws him into space. An asteroid hits the mansion a few seconds later, and JCM jumps out of it.)

    JCM: Remember, kids: Always be prepared!

    teenj12: Thanks for breaking my roof, asshole.

    JCM: No problem. Say, where's the food?

    teenj12: Security!

    (ExKizuna grabs JCM and throws him into the pits of Hell. JCM comes back out a few seconds later.)

    ExKizuna: How did you get out of there?

    JCM: I gave the devil your soul in exchange for a safe return.

    ExKizuna: You did what? (a giant red hand comes out of the ground and drags a screaming ExKizuna back in with it)

    (JCM walks into the mansion and takes a shrimp from the punch bowl.)

    JCM: Wow, this shrimp is bigger than my Aunt Mary's bunions!

    teenj12: That's beautiful. Why the fuck are you still in here?

    JCM: Nothing can keep me away from a good party. You hear me, home skillet fresh buns?

    teenj12: Does anyone happen to have a gun I can borrow?

    Sara: Help! The baby's coming!

    JCM: The stork called? Oh, no!

    Sara: Stork? What the fuck are you talking about?

    JCM: The stork babies come from! Duh!

    Sara: I don't have time for your shit, JCM! Somebody call a doctor!

    JCM: A doctor can't do anything! Don't worry! I'll run the stork, since you're obviously too gigantic to run three inches right now.

    Sara: Once the baby's out, I'm going to fucking kill you!

    (JCM runs to a creek, where he finds a stork drinking water.)

    JCM: Stork! Do you have Sara's baby?

    Stock: Caw! Caw!

    JCM: Caw! Caw! Caw! Yes? Let's go!

    (At the party, CF delivers Sara's baby just as that70sguy92 and JCM run in. JCM is holding the stork, which is pecking his eyes out.)

    JCM: I got the-ow!-stork-ow!-guys.

    Sara: You're going to be a great nurse, CF.

    CF: (smiles) Thank you.

    JCM: Does anybody notice me? Nobody ever notices me! (cries blood) That's it! I'm leaving town!

    that70sguy92: It's a boy, guys! (everyone cheers)

    (JCM leaves the mansion in sadness. Once he's outside, he sees ExKizuna covered in ashes and giving him an extremely dirty look.)

    JCM: Oh! Hi, Ex! You aren't taking that whole sending you to the underworld thing personally, are you?

    ExKizuna: (punches JCM, making him bleed further) No, not really. By the way, this isn't a costume party, vagina face.

    (In the underworld, the Grim Reaper attempts to explain himself.)

    Grim Reaper: I'm sorry for letting all those people slip through my fingers, boss! It won't happen again.

    Evil Underlord: First you fuck up the Apolocalypse gig, then you fuck up the Jenkins job, and now this! If you fuck up the hamster thing in the morning, you're through! You hear me, home skillet fresh buns?

    Grim Reaper: Yes, sir. (thinking) Oh well, it's only a hamster. What could go wrong?

    (That morning, the Grim Reaper transports into the home of young Billy, who's with his friend Mandy.)

    Billy: Ooh! Ooh! It's Santa! Santa Claus!

    Grim Reaper: (thinking) Oh, god.

    (The End)

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