Old Man Jenkins

Cocaine Sharks, the kind of Shark Week content I’m here for

Giving Bubble Bass more shit to do is my favorite thing about modern era SB. I give it 11 Mama Bass roastings out of 10. Why 11 out of 10? Because I like to go one step beyond

What’s really strange is that the lines under his nose look like stick legs, the lines on the sides of his nose look like stick arms, that head stalk his eyes and hat are on looks like a tiny head and his nose in the middle of all that looks like a wang. I see you, sponge crew

The final day of Brawlin’ Summer features the big money title fight between Big One winner, Scooter the Surfer, and The Shazampion, Patrick Star! Elsewhere on the card, The Barbell Mafia wants to make sure that The Cocaine Dealin’ Boys have dealt the last of their cocaine, SpongeBob and Squidward fight for the first time ever, SpongeBrawl has its second ever ladder match, a surprise return crashes Squilliam’s victory celebration, The Trash Man meets his greatest match yet and SpongeBrawl bids a fond farewell to The Fast Family and salute them for their service! Couldn’t’ve written a better ending for this summer celebration. It was all simulation that culminated into this final result! I just rolled with it. I’m already fast at work putting together the next show (most of it’s already in the can), which will be a sorta back to school themed one slated for late August/early December. After that, work on the big Halloween event will begin, which might be another multi-parter (tho not as long as Brawlin’ Summer)

The penultimate Day 15 features the first ever Elimination Wumber match to crown SpongeBrawl’s first ever Champion of Wumbology! Elsewhere on the card, Reg is forced to forge an uneasy alliance if he hopes to reclaim his lost Family Chamionship belts, there’s a bit of a Cocaine Dealin’ civil war as The Barbell Mafia and Cocaine Dealin’ Boys both vie for the early advantage in tomorrow’s Summer War, The Trash Man harasses the Shazampion on the eve of his next title defense and there’s a clash between two toasts

I think Larry the Snail is really misunderstood and underrated. He was ultimately just a pawn in SpongeBob’s twisted game of getting Gary jealous. I’m sure if he was given more screen time to flesh out his character, he’d be an all time one-timer.

Whichever ones the homie Craig Mammalton appear in

Day 14 features the final deciding match-up between Scooter the Surfer and Lord Poltergeist to determine who will walk away with The Big One! Elsewhere on the card, we are treated to two returns and two tie breakers while The Cocaine Dealin’ Boys seem to be losing ground as The Barbell Mafia continues muscling in on their territory

The deed is done, your holiness = )

Salty Spitoon because who doesn’t love a little tetanus with their bowl of nails?

Day 11 features Reg roughing it out alone in order to defend the Family Championships! Elsewhere on the card, the War on Cocaine begins and Larry the Snail is out to prove that his pain and suffering is greater than that of Cocaine Sea Bear’s!

Day 10 features the very built up and much anticipated B Bracket finals, destined to go down between Lord Poltergeist and SpongeBob SquarePants (in just time for SpongeBob’s birthday apparently)! Elsewhere on the card, The Cocaine Dealin’ Boys prepare themselves for war in a variety of different ways, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are caught up in two separate story threads, Squilliam wants to be the palest guy to ever step foot in one of Craig Mammalton’s beach parties, and a wild Patrick Star makes yet another appearance!

Day 9 features the last semi-final match-up for Bracket B as SpongeBob looks to prove that he does indeed possess the killer instinct needed to survive this bracket! Elsewhere on the card, the Tourney of Wumbo chugs on, Kevin C. Cucumber and Grubby Grouper collide in the pipeline for a second time and the rise of new opposition threatens the Cocaine Dealin’ Boys’ dominion over the beach! As opposed to their dominion over the White House amirite

We’re officially halfway through Brawlin’ Summer! Day 8 features the first semi-final Bracket B match-up between Tony Fast Jr. and Lord Poltergeist, as well as Pearl and Jumbo Shrimp putting both their Brawlin’ Summer undefeated streaks on the line for a chance to move on in the Tourney of Wumbo! Elsewhere on the card, Squilliam trolls Mermaid Man only to get trolled back, Mrs. Puff settles things with the Cocaine Sea Bears once and for all, and Reg fills in for Sandy to take on The Fast Saga’s Dominic Toretto!

Day 7 features the second half of B Bracket’s opening rounds, which will see Squilliam Fancyson III taking on Modern Man Jenkins and Mermaid Man trying to sway SpongeBob from the path of vengeance! Elsewhere on the card, Tournament of Wumbo kicks off, Larry the Lobster is next to step up to the plate against Armor Abs Krabs and Plankton is also out for robotic revenge but for very different reasons!

A fond farewell to one of my favorite wrestling gimmicks ever. Rest in power, Mantaur

I’ve been actually looking forward to The Goobfather since I first heard about it.

Watched Insidious: The Red Door last Thursday. I wanted to love it, but I only ended up kinda liking it. Scares were minimal and mostly just jump scares that REALLY make use of dat theater surround sound, the one built up good enough scare got spoiled in trailers and ads, the entities (or kind of a lack thereof) were very underwhelming. The Red Faced Demon’s intimidation factor really died down through the years due to the Darth Maul memes and whatnot, but I was at least hoping they would play up the fun camp with him like how exuded in the first movie, but he ended up just being a whole lotta nothing sandwich. Multiple movies beyond just the first two of build up (albeit lackluster) and he goes out with a faint whimper. And all the hype in the marketing campaign being all like “you’re not ready for what’s beyond the door” and it ends up being the same demon’s lair as in the first movie, but somehow not as good and with less atmosphere. And that’s another thing, the last two movies spent a good amount of their runtimes dedicated to setting up something with these red doors and how they’re gateways to all sort of demonic lairs in the further, which kinda gave me the implication that there was some sorta demon power struggle behind the scenes that would come to a crescendo in The Red Door, but that ended up not being the case and we just get that pretty lame ending for Darth Maul here. It was nice revisiting the family from the first two movies and they hold this movie down and keep it from being a complete disappointment, but it kinda sucks that they spend majority of the movie separated and doing their own thing. It’s by design and they make it make sense, but still, the familial unit held it down in those first two movies. And Carl from the second movie shows up for a brief scene in the beginning and then just ceases to be for the rest of it. Just found that weird since it seemed like it was building to him returning to help once again in the climax. I am kinda glad that Specs and Tucker got relegated to cameos ala The Ghostfacers in Supernatural. Chapters 3 and 4 really like overexposed their shtick. And I’m glad they did same with Elise to be perfectly honest. Her not having an active role like even in Chapter 2 made the Lamberts’ victory feel very well earned since they pull it off by themselves. Overall, it’s a nice ending to The Lamberts’ story, but as an overall ending to everything, it leaves a lot to be desired. I have a sentimental value when it comes to this franchise, so it just sucks to see it not go out with a good enough bang. I wouldn’t mind seeing Patrick Wilson direct again tho. and last night I attended a mystery movie and it turned out to be Talk To Me. I thought it was pretty good, better than Insidious: The Red Door, but the ending kinda fell flat for me. I get what they were trying to go for, but idk. It just didn’t gel with me as well as the rest of the movie. I’ll probably catch it again once it gets its wider release. It’s nice to see something out of Australia get a rub like this tho.

Day 6 features the beginnings of The Big One’s B Bracket, which will see Tony Fast Jr. looking avenge his previous loss to Dominic Toretto, as well as Sandy Cheeks facing off against Lord Poltergeist for the first time! Elsewhere on the card, Syd the Crack Head goes at it alone when dealing with a threat to his operation, we celebrate Shark Week by having Manny Mangrove take on Pearl and Kevin C. Cucumber doesn’t give a fuck about surf etiquette!

Greetings from Google.

After a weekend break, we back baybee. Day 5 of Brawlin’ Summer featured the much anticipated A Bracket finals between Scooter the Surfer and Squidward Tentacles! Elsewhere on the card, Boys Who Cry each have their own beach trials to tackle, Mr. Krabs once again finds himself caught in The Dutchman’s Triangle and it’s an all-out beach battle between all sides of the law!

I wanna see an entry entirely dedicated to the great old one known as Pathulhu

I’ll be Names to Run Away from Really Fast. Should be a fun week to login.

Day 4 of Brawlin’ Summer features Reg and Squidward both vying for the right to face Scooter in the Bracket A Finals! Elsewhere on the card, it’s a clash of Boys Who Cry, Craig Mammalton faces his biggest match yet and Larry the Lobster finds himself stuck between The Rock and a hard place!