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Master Cheeks

Cotton Candy Blue
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Posts posted by Master Cheeks

  1. The first two episodes of the season had me concerned, but this one restored my faith in many ways:

    - Mr. Hankey in a non Christmas episode doesn't seem like it works, but it sure did here. He slotted in perfectly as the Roseanne/Kavanunagh parody. The "joke" tweets, the Hankey hearings and his final scene were all done to near perfection. Maybe one or two too many ambien jokes by the end, but it was pretty small fry in the bigger scheme of the episode. It may sound like a weird way to send off a side character who's more or less beloved (or at the very least well-liked) but believe me when I say it was awesome.

    - PC Principal definitely had begun to wear out his welcome for me last season (and probably earlier if we're being real about it) so when I heard the subplot focused around him and Strong Woman's Emmy worthy  relationship, I'll admit I was not intrigued. I figured I'd be writing a blurb here about it being forced, but instead I'm impressed how they managed to make them relevant. The two ended up having quintuplets (5 kids) out their encounter in the S21 finale and this causes significant strain to their relationship and beliefs.  It was interesting to see these two "righteous" (in their eyes anyhow) characters deal with the consequences. Woman doesn't want to acknowledge PC as her children's father due to the implications of their working relationship to PC wanting to be a quality father to them even in spite of this. It's an astounding level of depth for these two and I'm actually looking forward to seeing them again.

    - One classic quote in this episode for me: "I've learned over the years that when you defend poop, you get stained." - Gerald when he refuses to take Hankey's case midway through the episode. In a sense foretelling what would happen with Kyle later on as he tried to stick to his friend.

    - Also that Simpsons jab to close the episode was so spot on and the cherry on top of an excellent episode.

    Grade: A-

    • Like 4
  2. Always wanted to draw, never really thought I could actually do so until recently.  Thinking of this as an early new years resolution more then anything. Here's a sampling of a few recent drawings:

    uX1mktk.jpg

    I call it a finnsicle! I started drawing Finn from AT, but I kinda blanked out on drawing the rest of his body so I made him a popsicle instead.

    Hh6Av3v.jpg

    A doodle of Farmworld Finn and Jake I did yesterday morning instead of taking class notes. I forgot to draw Finn pants, so lets just say he's wearing a robe.

    I'm hoping to update this every week or two with a few new drawings, but we'll see where this goes!

    • Like 5
  3. Includes jobs, volunteer work, etc.

    My best experiences include the 2015 at my summer camp job (the last good/great summer of it I feel) and recent school observation which was really exciting and informative for me. Worst was undoubtedly the dog care job I had in Fall/Winter 2016 where I never got consistent work and then got thrown under the bus by management. It sucked so bad I went back to school. Volunteering for the Obama campaign in 2012 wasn't super fun, but I did get some valuable experiences from it at least. The summer job this year was rough too, but I did have awesome co workers so it did balance out.

    Discuss your experiences below!

  4. Fall Spin-Off/Literature Announcements:

    - Episode four of My Leg! is being pushed back next week to Saturday, October 6th due to conflicting obligations.

    - From then on episodes 5 - 11 will go to my original planned format of being posted weekly on Thursdays (preferably evenings, but not exclusively)

    - The final four episodes (12-16) will be posted in a biweekly format due to their complexity and length from the rest of the series requiring as such.

    - And finally, set your calendars for November 16th as a new literature project will be revealed, set for release in late 2018/early 2019.

    • Like 2
  5. Episode 3: Emergency Landing

    Fred is sleeping when he awakens inside a pitch-black room.  He is alarmed when he cannot see a thing and tries to feel his way around the room. “Wh- OUCH!” Fred ran right into a metal door and stubbed his toe. “What the hell?” Fred then saw Patrick was sleeping on the ground next to him.

    “Patrick. Patrick... WAKE UP!” Fred shouts at the top of lungs. His voice bounced off the walls of the small cabin, making it immensely loud.

    “Wha!? Ahh, SPIDERS! SPIDERS! SPIDERS!” Patrick screamed. He ran around the room aimlessly screaming and yelling until he ran headfirst into a metal door.

    “Wh-What the hell?” Fred said frantically. “Were we kidnapped? What’s going on!?”

    “No sir.” A voice said over the intercom. “The two of you signed up for the army's training course a while back, dont you remember?”

    “Oh, oh yeah!” Patrick exclaimed. “I ‘member!”

    A couple days earlier…

    Patrick is standing in line at the Chum Roller Boulder when an army recruitment wagon rolls on up to next to him. Out of it pops an old man

    “Hey sonny! Would like to sign up for the Army's training program? You’re not likely to be called upon for duty, however you do get a discount card on Jellyfishing supplies if you do sign up!”

    “Yes sir, I'll sign up Fred also, because he's my friend.” Patrick said as he signed the dotted line.

    Present Day…

    Fred glared hard at Patrick. “Dammit Patrick, I don't want to be in the Army!” Fred shouted at Patrick. “The whole reason I came back to Bikini Bottom was to avoid dangerous situations like this!”

    “B-But Fred, the discounts!” Patrick said.

    “As much I hate to tell you this, it’s too late sir.” The other pilot responded. “We’re about to touch down at the Bikini Bottom training barracks.”

    The plane lands gently on a landing strip in the northwest quadrant. The first pilot hands Fred a piece of paper and the second one does the same with Patrick.

    “You two will be placed in the 9th training platoon of the Bikini Bottom army.” They both said. “If I were you, I’d hurry and change into your uniforms before officer Fishbones sees ya.”

    --------

    The two do so and stand in a line of 20 or so other fish dressed in uniforms just like them. After about ten minutes or so the Officer Fishbones spoken of earlier walks around and examines the line of fish. He is an imposingly huge fish covered in scars that represent a lifetime of trouble and anxiety.

    “Who's the bald fish?” Patrick asked.

    “Patrick, that's the commanding officer.” Fred said in a whisper. “He's basically our teacher but worse.”

    The officer then walks up to them

    “Is there a problem sir!?” He asked Fred.

    Fred gulps as he is stared down by the sergeant. “No sir!”

    “Good. Now today, we will begin our treacherous training course, that will push you to the bone, break you soul, and question your very existence in this worthless sea!” The officer began. “… Well that’s what I used to say until the city cut our budget and well…. It’s just this puny little obstacle course now.”

    The obstacle course was merely just a beat-up rock wall and a small sewage pipe with a fishie in it.

    “We’ll breeze right through this and then get put into the reserves.” Fred said. “No sweat!” Fred and Patrick were the last two to go and expectantly passed it with ease, the worst part being a small papercut on Patrick’s knee. However, when they got there an unexpected sight greeted them.

    “What the hell?” Fred said as he saw multiple ambulance trucks put the other men from their platoon in. Some of them were exasperated and out of breath, while others had bones sticking out of their legs. They were in no shape to go to war.

     “Well, if I’m gonna be honest MAGGOT! In any other war time situation I wouldn’t even consider putting you two on the frontlines!” Fishbone began before dropping off. “But you’re the only two I have left, so prepare to head the combat zone tomorrow morning!”

    “Yay!” Patrick shouted.

    “NO! NO NO NO NO NO!” Fred shouts as he kicks a rock. The pain sears through his body instantly. “MY LEG!”

    ---------

    The next day, Fred and Patrick are shipped off to the combat zone, the edge of Shell City, to fight the sea's biggest threat: Scubas. Fred and Patrick look in horror at their enemy and begin to formulate a battle plan.

    “Ok Patrick.” Fred commanded. “So according to these zoning maps, the scubas usually enter through the left of the gift shop!” Fred point to the northwest end of the shop. “So I say that we should go up through the right, and do a surprise attack on them. What do you think of that Patrick?

    “Sure, but uhh, could we stop at the Gift Shop first? I want an energy drink, you know to get me through the pain and treachery of war?” Patrick asked.

    “Patrick, you can have coffee. Not energy drinks, they'll make you energized for an hour, and then your screwed for the other twenty-three hours in the trenches. Have some coffee, and then we'll get into our positions.”

    “Yes sir!” Patrick said.

    After this break, the two then took their positions to the right of the gift shop. But then a tragedy occurred…

    Oh no…. I have to go to the bathroom! Patrick thought to himself. Without thinking, he ran back into the gift shop and exerted his displeasure. Fred meanwhile stood all alone…

    “Attac- Patrick?” Fred said quizzically. Before he could think about it anymore, he was locked into a Ziploc bag and came face to face with the monsters themselves…

    “Dude, we got even more fish than usual today!” One of the scuba divers said, carrying a surfer-like tone to him.

    “Oh yeah man! We're gonna get paid so much extra this time!” The other one said excitedly.

    Patrick sees this happening through the gift shop window. “I’m coming to get you buddy!” He frantically swims to save Fred but is weighted down severely by all the food and coffee he ate.

    “Ooh, I think I’m gonna be sick!”

    And then he burps a burp so loud and strong that the scubas drop the bag, which gets snagged on a rock, and breaks open saving Fred.

    “Thank you so much Patrick.” Fred said with the last of his strength. “I really thought I was a goner.

    “Don't thank me, thank the power of coffee and candy bars!” Patrick replied. As Fred passed out from exhaustion, he came to realize that Patrick, while not the smartest fish around, was one he could develop a bond unlike any other with.

    • Like 1
  6. So truthfully, kinda underwhelming.

    The PMS jokes got old really fast and Cartmans subplot devolved into weak humor pretty quickly. The one plus was I felt they hit upon the general burnout/apathy the general public has felt towards quite well and it made Sharon's anger towards the townspeople more sympathetic. Kinda wish we'd have seen more of the main four besides the opening scene since they are kinda the main characters of the show.

    Overall, I feel there was potential for a nice ep, but that they kinda wasted it on lame PMS jokes and a really unnecessary Cartman plot. Gonna hold out hope for the rest of the season, but not the best start.

    Grade: D+

    • Like 3
  7. I'm a thousand years late ik

    Ok that might've actually been the worst episode of SpongeBob I've ever seen. I mean holy shit what a mess. 

    - The facial animations were way too over the top for modern SpongeBob. They belonged more in Season 6, back in two thousand and late 2008.

    - Ok to piggyback off the last statement, the animations in general were just terrible.

    - Patrick was such a jerk to Squidward for what? Money? Popularity? Success? What is he, Eugene now? But for real what the hell Pat? As Patrick has always been my favorite, this protrayal angers me.

    - The ink was gross and over the top. I'm not as much of a wimp  as disturbed by grossout humor as I used to be, but it didn't work for me still.

    - There was not a single, solitary funny moment for me in this episode. Not one. Even the past worsts have gotten some sort of laugh out of me, but not here.

    I could write a whole lot more, but I think you get the idea: This episode is terrible, no good and very bad I felt. Early contender for #1 my 2019 worst list.

    Grade: F

    • Like 5
  8. It's not offensively bad, but not good either. SpongeBob and Patrick are too dumb for my liking (the name is clearly on the one side of the box you didn't look) and the last 4 minutes when Sandy showed up were massively predictable. Some jokes such as Squidwards angel/devil gag and visual of him being turned into calamari were solid, but otherwise this episodes doesn't have much going for it.

    Grade: D

    • Like 1
  9. Episode 2: Good Job Hunting

    Patrick Star was sitting in his comfy sand chair at home when the doorbell rang, echoing throughout his rock. Opening the door, he saw a familiar face.

    “Oh hey, you’re the guy from the Chum Bucket the other day.” Patrick said to Fred. “How did you find out where I lived?”

    “I called the directory and they told me you lived under a rock.” Fred said. “The only rock in town in fact.”

    “Oh, that makes sense. So, what brings you here?” Patrick asked.

    “Well truth be told… I got nowhere else to go.” Fred stated sadly. “Plus I know your out of a job too, so I thought possibly we could work together to find us both a job.”

    Patrick shrugged his shoulders. “Alright I’m up for it. Guest room’s on the right.”

    “Awesome!” Fred said. “I have a feeling we’ll have jobs in no time!”

    -----

    Three Days Later

    As the steel walls of Old Man Jenkins’ house began to melt, all Fred and Patrick could do was watch.

    “Patrick, why in the world did you use a flamethrower? Termagone would’ve done the trick!” Fred said.

    “But fire burns faster!” Patrick responded. “Are we supposed to be quick about it?”

    Fred sighed. “Let’s get out of here before the old man calls the cops!” Both run away from the house as Jenkins just sits in a chair.

    “Where’d Pinkie and the Brain go?”

    ------

    After it became clear that they had evaded possible arrest, both took a seat on a park bench and took deep breaths.

    “Ok so, being terminators is a no go.” Fred said. “Along with painters, sculptors, construction workers…” Fred read off a list for several minutes before getting to the end. “… and sumo wrestlers. Only a couple things left on this list. Next up is Fry co-“ But before Fred could continue, Patrick spoke up.

    “NO! NO NO NO!” Patrick yelled. “I WON’T BE A FRY COOK AGAIN!”

    Fred frowned. “Patrick, we don’t have the luxury of being able to say something like that. I understand entirely that it’s not an attractive job, but-“ Fred was interrupted again.

    “You don’t understand!” Patrick yelled even louder. “I mean that I WILL NOT BE A FRY COOK EVER AGAIN! EVER!!!”

    Fred began sweating and shaking from the amount of attention Patrick was bringing upon them. “Alright alright, I’ll just cross it off the list!” Fred then did just that and scribbled it out entirely for good measure. “See, we don’t have to do it!”

    “Good.” Patrick said coldly. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have something I need to do. So, I’ll see you at the rock later.”

    And with Patrick walked away silently, leaving Fred concerned and confused.

    -----

    A week had passed since the terminator incident and things remained tense between Fred and Patrick. Still, they stuck it out in their job search and ended up working at A Le Mode Crabee, a fancy restaurant occupied by the elite of Bikini Bottom. Fred was a server/waiter while Patrick became a custodian. It was two weeks into their jobs there that Fred had the mighty displeasure of serving quite the rude customer.

    “Good evening simpleton.” The Squid said. “I would like the crab legs with a side of corral please.”

    Fred couldn’t help but be distracted: he knew he had seen this man before. But not like this. Not so elegantly. Not so pompously.

    “Excuse me are you deaf?” The Squid said.

    “Aren’t you Squidward Tentacles?” Fred asked.

    “Did you not already figure it out from gracefulness?” Squidward said. “Of course, I am Squidward Tentacles!”

    “Well I know. I was in your marching band, you know from the Bubble Bowl a long time ago?” Fred asked. “What are you doing at such a fancy place as this?”

    “I’ve always been coming A Le Mode Crabee for most of the last four years, this is nothing new. Have you been living under a rock?” Squidward replied.

    “Recently yeah.” Fred replied.

    “What?”

    “Nothing. But you weren’t like this last time I lived in Bikini Bottom.” Fred said. “What happened to you in the last four years?”

    Just then, a bright light shined on Squidward, specifically a badge on his chest pocket.

    “Is that an attorney's badge!?” Fred asked. “Are you a… defense attorney?”

    “Sir, I want my crab legs!” Squidward responded angrily. “No more chit-chat unless you want me to personally call your manager over!”

    Fred took the cue and left, but he was still bothered by Squidward’s behavior. Fred happened to pass by Patrick and took the opportunity to whisper to him.

    “Hey, hey Pat!” Fred mumbled. “I wanna ask you something.”

    “Sure what?” Patrick said.

    “Didn’t Squidward Tentacles used to be your friend or something?”

    “Yeah, before he became a hardass.” Patrick said and resumed cleaning. “A lot changed since you left bud.”

    “Yeah no kidding.” Fred said.

    • Like 1
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