The final guest write from the first guest writer!
223b. Break The (Fourth) Leg!
“It’s a beautiful day in Bikini Bottom as the sun shines down on Fred the Fish.” An unknown narrator begins. “Fred is entering the hospital and reminiscing on how he broke his leg for the 690th time at least.”
*Flashback begins* Fred stands at the curb of the sidewalk eating lemon ice cream when the truck runs over his right leg. “My Leg!” He screams in abject agony, clutching at his limp leg. It reminds him of the time before wh-
“Oh no no no!” Skodwarde intruded into the narrator’s space outside of the confines of the episode somehow. “You are not turning my show into torture porn. Get on out of here!”
“But, but it’s essential to the plot! Besides I’m the damn narr-“ The narrator went on before Skod knocked him out cold.
“Whatever, anyone can be the narrator for this dumb story.” Skod said. “All we gotta do is break this idiot’s leg once and get on with it!” Skodwarde then prepares his best narrator voice. “Fred finds himself once again in the hospital, no idea his doctor has been preparing for him yet again!”
Skodwarde then transported himself back into the actual plot and became the doctor.
“Thanks again Doc Skod for the new leg!” Fred said enthusiastically. “Hoping to b- I mean not be here anytime soon! Of course, who wants to be in a hospital?”
“Right of course.” Skod said. “See ya never!” Skod then grinned as he pulled out Tom, the (insert cross-out) pleasure robot (end cross-out) plot device robot. “Tom! I have reprogrammed you to do nothing but destroy, decimate or annihilate Fred’s leg by any means necessary!” Skod commanded.
Tom briefly short-circuited but then had his eyes turn red and face the camera. “Evil red eyes? Neptune, what a cliché.” Skod groaned. “No matter! Break that leg!”
“MY! LEG! BREAK!” Tom spoke before running out of the hospital as Skod laughed maniacally.
Fred was outside eating ice cream again (cross-out begin) because that worked out so well last time (cross-out end) when (cross-out begin) plot armor (cross-out end) SpongeBob just happened to be walking down the street at the same time.
“Fred look out!” SpongeBob yelled instinctively, but nothing was actually happening. “Oh, just kidding!” Just then, Tom flew in and landed on top of SpongeBob’s leg! “My L- Wait, that’s not my line…”
The plot then mysteriously pauses as Skod curses from above in the narrator’s space. “No, no, no that’s not how it goes!” Skod shouted. “Fuck it, let’s skip around a little bit.”
In the flash of an eye, everyone was now at Fred’s job at the incredibly dangerous, chemically unstable nuclear waste facility.
“Break it Tom!” Skod the unstable narrator yelled. “BREAK!”
Tom then threw a highly corrosive chemical at Fred’s leg, but Fred’s (cross-out) Plot armor (cross-out) quick thinking allowed him to get out of the way quickly and it hit SpongeBob’s leg instead, melting it off instantly.
“My Le-“ SpongeBob began screaming before it regrew immediately. “Oh yeah, that feels all fresh and new!”
“No, no!” Skod said. “New scene!”
Now Fred’s leg was tied to train tracks with Tom holding onto SpongeBob so tight he couldn’t move. Skod himself was conducting the train, ensuring success.
“Don’t leave a God’s job to a robot haahah!” Skod laughed to himself. “Any last words?”
Suddenly, Tom began short-circuiting again, his eyes now a lighter blue as he looked at the camera.
“Yes master.. I have learned…. To love.” He stated.
“What!?” Skod said disbelievingly. “What do you mean?”
Tom then flicked the train away from little effort from his pinky finger because Skode gave him that amount of strength for evil. “Fred, I have come to love you and your… leg” Tom softly caressed it.
“NO STOP STOP STOP!” Skod said as he stopped the plot once again. “What the hell is going on with this story? I wanted the robot to hurt him, not love him!”
“This is what happens when you discard narrative effect-“ The old narrator began before Skod knocked him out again. Skod then set the narrator’s space on fire and disappeared. Tom and Fred lived happily ever after for the rest of the episode and SpongeBob went to the next episode to serve as plot device in.