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Metal Snake
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Posts posted by Metal Snake
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Hope you had a great birthday, Cha!
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I did one more drawing last night before my birthday, Gallus from MLP: FiM.
The reason I've briefly gone back to doing sketches is because my drawing tablet isn't working right with my computer right now, just for the record. I'll go back to doing colored digital artwork as soon I can, but for now, here's my birthday gift to you guys.
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DEVIL - Shinedown
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Ha ha, stupid and naughty girls. I liked that fight scene with Lester and the girls all the more just for that alone. Obviously, the return of Drew and Tom was great too. Glad that Tom is back as his normal self, I couldn't imagine him spending the rest of the season yelling, "Globgor!".
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Episode 14: The Crazy Final Battle
“We have to get back to that prison now!” Adrian yelled as she and Felix began to run over there.
“Thank God we were able to convince Hawk and OMJ to let us investigate there alone.” Felix replied. “No matter what their true intentions are, it wouldn’t be right to drag them into any conflict and have them get killed…”
“I know…” Adrian responded. “As soon as she kills off her partner, it’s going to be all-out war…”
In the prison, after Steel Wu had finished echoing his battle cry…
“WHY CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND STEEL?!” Wumbo spoke to the Steel part of himself. “NO ONE CARES ABOUT SOME TYPICAL SHOW FROM CANADA!”
“Yeah, Total Drama Island was kind of stupid looking back on it.” JCM intervened.
“SHUT UP, JCM!” Jayden shouted as he lunged at Steel Wu, with them both grappling each other’s shoulders. “I DON’T LIKE YOU, ALMOST AS MUCH AS I DON’T LIKE RENEGADE AND SPONGETRON NOW!”
“I DON’T LIKE WHAT I DON’T LIKE NOW MORE!” Steel Wu yelled back.
“I NEVER LIKED WHAT I DON’T LIKE NOW!” Jayden cried.
“I NEVER EVEN LIKED NOSTALGIA CRITIC’S PATCH ADAMS VIDEO!” Steel Wu screamed.
“HAYDEN HATER!” Jayden yelled.
“CANADIAN HATER!” Steel Wu yelled back.
“GGGGGRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH-AH” the grunting of the two as they wrestled came to a halt after their armor broke off and their pants fell down, revealing that they were both wearing the same color of underwear.
“*GASP* Blue…” Jayden said in disbelief as he saw Steel Wu’s boxers.
“Cobalt blue…” Steel Wu replied, equally shocked.
They then looked into each others’ eyes and started crying before they both exclaimed…
“YOU DO LIKE WHAT I DO!”
After their crying ended, Jayden offered a hand to Steel Wu, telling him…
“Let’s never fight again, pal!”
“Sure thing, buddy!” Steel Wu replied. “But if I ever catch you wearing red underwear, you’re dead!”
“Don’t worry, I promise to keep my woke glasses on!” Jayden assured, putting on a pair of blue shades that allowed to see the fire surrounding them as nothing more than harmless, blue jelly. As the two walked into the blazing fire, the SBCers began to boo.
“Hey, where are you going?!” Spongetron yelled. “Get back here and make those undies red with your period blood!”
“You’re the best sycophant ever.” Steel Wu complimented Jayden.
“You too, buddy.” Jayden returned the “kind words”.
“You know, these were purple when I bought them.” Steel Wu referred to his boxers.
The screen then went black.
“So wait, that’s it?” Metal Snake remarked, talking through Tron whom he was still absorbed inside of.
“T-t-that’s all folks?!” SOF interjected as The Looney Tunes credits logo appeared and the classic music played...up until Jayden and Steel Wu burst out of the logo, screaming and running away from...a blood-covered Clappy dressed in a Mario suit.
“DO THE MARIO!” he yelled, singing and dancing like the actor from the end of the The Super Mario Bros. Super Show. “SWING YOUR ARMS AND CLAP YOUR HANDS!”
Clappy then slammed two severed human hands together, which had the SBCers gasping.
“Mario...IS A MURDERER!” Renegade yelled a Game Theory reference.
“damn it matpat” SOF said with a frustrated groan.
“Oh God, it can’t be...but it’s true.” Jelly said as the mantis monster who had attacked them earlier arrived. “We’re the murderers Hawk and OMJ are after. Their friends are probably going to come and try saving you by now, but we’re ready to silence them…”
“No matter what you do…” Clappy chimed in. “You won’t be able to stop our master from leaving this island and fulfilling her true desires…”
It was then shown that Crazy Celes was now at the helicopter Adrian and Felix came in on, laughing at the crew she had slaughtered, lying on the ground drenched in their own blood and filled with bullet holes.
“I hope none of you believed the fight with Jayden and Steel Wu was the real final battle…” she remarked as she got in the helicopter’s pilot seat. “What I have planned is going to be nothing like a Portrayed by Spongebob meme…”
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Cool "filler episode". Glad to have the Scooby-Doo homages back, and I also thought it was cute how every officer was named after a King of the Hill character. The cheesiness of how quickly Hank got fired had me chuckling too, reminding me of The Fairly OddParents. Also liked Baghead. Hank became Chester's dad.
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This is America - Childish Gambino
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Ninja Gaiden Sigma
Changed my avatar and signature appropriately to celebrate finally taking down this tough son of a bitch.
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Episode 13: SBC Civil Peace
Dramatic music played as Jayden laid on the floor, feeling the fire and smoke all around him.
“How did this happen?” Jayden asked himself as he saw the charred corpses of all the SBC members who were killed from the plane’s collision with the prison. “The fire...the fury...people believing SBC has a liberal agenda...I feel the pain of it all. And when I listen closely, I can still hear the cries of my dead comrades…”
“THAT’S BECAUSE WE’RE RIGHT HERE CHEWING YOU OUT FOR KILLING US ALL!” the SBCers who were killed yelled at him, disrupting the dramatic music, as it was revealed that their ghosts were hovering just above him.
“That’s right...I remember now…” Jayden said, only slightly acknowledging what he just heard. “I was fighting Steel Wu...and I tried to take advantage of an opportunity while he was distracted by Spongetron and Renegade. Damn...DAMN YOU TRON! DAMN YOU REN! IT’S YOUR FAULTS EVERYONE ON SBC IS DEAD! ALL YOUR FAULTS!”
“Actually, Renegade is still alive.” Steel Wu interjected, pointing to Ren still standing next to Tron alive and well, surviving from her protection. “I guess he’s the Duncan of this lit.”
However, Steel Wu then abruptly screamed, with Wumbo’s personality resurfacing.
“GGGGGRRRRRAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!” a furious battle cry echoed all throughout the prison and the land of North Korea, a cry that was heard even from those who were currently discussing peace…
“Heh heh, I guess someone didn’t take too kindly to being called short…” Hawkbit joked, making a Fullmetal Alchemist reference.
“I think it has more to do with SBC just having their version of 9/11.” OMJ offered his take.
“Pfft, trust me, they got over me giving them that years ago, as well as every other terrorist attack I made on SBC.” Hawkbit replied. “Ah, how I enjoyed putting together those plane crash videos…”
“On second thought, I think your theory makes more sense, sadly.” OMJ said in bemusement as Hawkbit guffawed to himself, preparing to land.
“Hmm?” Terminoob murmured as he, Adrian, and Felix saw the plane Hawkbit was flying in land on the hill where the crashed plane used to be. “Why is another plane coming out here?”
“Stay on guard…” Adrian warned, putting her dukes up, as Hawkbit and OMJ got out of the plane and approached the trio.
“Wassup buddy?” Hawkbit greeted them informally to win their favor, but Adrian wasn’t moved.
“State your business.” she replied, her suspicions unabated.
“Relax guy.” Hawkbit kept up the colloquial talk, attempting to smooth them over. “Our business is the same as yours, we’re with Kozuki too. Old guy called us up to tell us y’all needed some help, so we flew here on a plane to bail ya brothas outta trouble.”
“He just so happened to have your numbers?” Felix asked. “Also, how did you get here so quickly?”
“We’re spies of his.” OMJ answered. “We came here from Japan, which is right next to Korea. Be grateful the Koreas are making peace now, because it made traveling here much easier.”
“Feh, we still would’ve made it here just fine.” Hawkbit retorted. “My brother is an agent of world travel, you know.”
“The Koreas are still making peace?” Terminoob questioned. “Even after we killed Kim Jong?”
“Lolwut.” Hawkbit replied. “Kim Jong’s very much alive, he’s discussing peace with Moon Jae-in as we speak.”
“Ho ho, sorry, my mistake…” Terminoob said with a familiar chuckle, garnering the suspicion of Adrian and Felix…
“Whatever’s going on with ol’ Kim Possible, it doesn’t matter.” OMJ assured them. “Right now, we’ve got ourselves a much more dangerous enemy on our hands. There have been reports of a dangerous pair of Yo-Kai who have been slaughtering Korean soldiers and innocent civilians around here. The victims were either sliced to ribbons or found dead from shock with their hands removed. Have you seen anything of the sort?”
“No…” Adrian answered, before looking at where their plane had landed and realized the surprising absence of Kim Jong and his soldiers’ remains. “Surprisingly…”
“Wait, didn’t the plane crash by the weed farm?” Felix remembered as he turned around and was shocked to see that the fire was no longer there, the weed showing no signs that it had ever been set ablaze. Even Elasticorn had mysteriously disappeared…
“It’s as if we’ve stepped into a parallel dimension.” he remarked to himself in awe. “Just like in Silent Hill...is this Crazy Celes trying to send us a message?”
It was then that Felix turned to see another shocking sight. On the ground where the plane was, he and Adrian were stunned to see a crop circle. They both found that the way the plane fit into the circle bore a striking resemblance to the peace circle sign…
“Now that I remember…” Adrian said to herself in thought. “The first two people who died on the plane were…”
“I wonder…” Felix said to himself in thought as he looked at Hawkbit and OMJ suspiciously. “...if not just Kozuki, but Celes herself has her own ring of spies…”
This is it...all of the clues are coming together. Soon, we will finally have the answer of who killed Clappy and Jelly. We will finally uncover the mystery of the double trouble duo behind the heinous anus homicide next time. And on the time after that, we will uncover the mystery of the Illumichati…
...on the finale of this arc of Crazy Celes…
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Brilliant, brilliant series, one of the best in my opinion. I love how complex the cast of characters is, how no one is "a hero or a villain", how deep the writing goes, where all the possibilities are considered before anyone makes a decision in the story and some horrifyingly dark (and occasionally even spiritual) themes are explored, and how suspenseful the fighting scenes are, where the characters always have to find a way to see through the unique trick their opponent is pulling. I am completely up to speed with the manga, which was so good that it got me to watch the anime up until the Greed Island arc...and read some of Yu Yu Hakusho. I'm serious, I really appreciate Yoshihiro Togashi now. I get why people have been frustrated with the slow pace the manga has been coming out at, but so long as the guy continues to show in his work the care he has for quality content, I am for him all the way.
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The Standard element. That's brilliant. That is the best element by far, screw anyone who hates. I like how things didn't go quite like I presumed with Roxy, it makes sense with her character, as she's not the cunning, sly type. Also enjoy how Skipper's orange knight powers awakened by him protecting Cassidy, it accurately represents how he's changed.
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Light Them Up - Fall Out Boy
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Break - Three Days Grace
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Thrilling episode, it was quite hectic seeing them go back and forth over which side was lying, and I loved how they finally couldn't take it anymore and stopped holding back against Roxy. It would also be great if they told her some time about Ramos, even as she now finally knows the truth about Icy.
My hunch tells me that at this point, she'll play along with Icy's schemes, waiting for a good time to stab her in the back, but I'll see what goes down.
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Losing My Mind - Mystery Skulls
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Episode 12: Fighting Death to the Death
“Oh, how clever.” Jayden snarked. “Ripping off the title of the pre-finale of ATTWL 3, Chasing Death, which was a rip-off of the title of the finale of ATTWL 2, Cheating Death. Good to see that neither you or SOF are original. This is going to suck.”
“I don’t know Jayden,” “disagreed” Steel Wu, playing along with the joke before giving off Steel vibes at the end, “I’m excited to see who the hacker will be...oh. He’s already been revealed, huh? I guess I don’t have a problem with early giveaways though so long as they give things away too soon well.”
“Ugh, I hate spoilers of any kind.” Spongetron chimed in. “I want to figure out what happens for myself.”
“In bed?” Renegade joked with a smirk, which, as expected, elicited a response of groaning from everyone in the room.
“Making a joke like that to a girl younger than him…” hilaryfan80 voiced his disapproval, crossing his arms and shaking his head right next to Homie. “People like that just have no class…”
“Gee, wonder what that says about people who say stuff like that to a younger girl seriously…” Homie snidely jabbed.
“I’m warning you…” hilaryfan80 threatened. “I’m not afraid to give you a warning…”
As the SBCers continued to quarrel and speak negatively amongst themselves, Terminoob paused a video on his computer that was showing this entire scene on video and sighed to himself.
“And I thought my pseudo-cynicism in the past was bad…” he remarked in bemusement. “Do you see why I defected? SBC is nothing more than a circlejerk for this kind of behavior now. Once I feared that the site would devolve into a circlejerk for praising the Nostalgia Critic, but now it’s even worse than I imagined. Now it’s a circlejerk for hating on the Nostalgia Critic.”
“Yesterday it was Teen Titans No!, now it’s NOstalgia Critic…” Adrian said with a sigh. “Even if they’re for things I’ve never cared for, internet hate bandwagons are the fucking worst…”
“I’ve never been more glad than I ever have today that I was always a bigger fan of The Angry Video Game Nerd.” Felix chimed in. “But even if James Rolfe was the one in hot water, I wouldn’t want to help sensationalize scorn for him on the internet.”
“Glad that you two are smart and don’t just go along with the popular opinion,” commended Termi, “unlike some people who just can’t realize that Teen Titans Go! is hilarious. You know, we should work together.”
“Nice try…” Adrian retorted. “I haven’t forgotten that you’re still possessed by Crazy Celes…”
“You have it wrong.” Terminoob corrected. “I’m not possessed by her, I’ve accepted part of her inside of myself and have full control over it. Why do you think I’m able to keep myself much more level-headed and collected than the other SBCers who have become influenced by her aura of insanity?”
“You make a good case.” Felix remarked. “Like us, you appear to have a strong resistance to her powers...but what reason do you have for us to trust that you won’t try to stab us in the back?”
Terminoob snickered, enjoying the parallel to the situation he was just in earlier with negotiating with the other SBCers…
“Once you see the video I captured of the fight, you’ll see you don’t have a choice…” Termi told them as he played footage he had captured from a security camera he hijacked in the prison that recorded the entire duel between Jayden and Steel Wu…
The video begins here…no, don’t worry, I’m not pasting any broken links…
“Please don’t stand by.” Kozuki said from his office, playing Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Links on his phone.
In the prison at the time of the recording...
“IT’S TIME TO D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!” Jayden cried out as he slammed a compact disc against a duel disk he had made appear on his arm...only for the CD to break. “...Huh. Maybe I should’ve used a card.”
“Ho ho ho, I’m sure Toys R Us has some overpriced cards…” Steel Wu taunted as he brandished his sword. “...in hell. Actually, I think “hell” might be overdoing it. I think Toys R Us is more or less in purgatory right now…”
“YYYAAAHHH!” Jayden cried as Steel Wu tried cutting him with the sword and he evaded. “Where did I go wrong?!”
“hold on, i might remember” SOF interjected as the scene flashed back to him making a light from his horn flash to blind Steel Wu, giving Jayden time to bust out his duel disk.
“Oh yeah.” Jayden said in reminisce. “At least Flash was super effective...but that’s the problem. Both of us have always been bigger fans of Pokemon...the only time I was really into Yu-Gi-Oh! was when I was watching 5Ds...wait, that’s it! I don’t need a duel disk, I need a duel runner! But that’s more advanced than a duel disk...I don’t think I could make that with just my powers, I need pre-existing mechanical parts...the crashed plane! It should still be around near the prison...I just need another distraction for Steel Wu...”
“Man, this is boring.” Spongetron said, unengaged with just watching Jayden dodge Steel Wu’s sword slashes. “Can’t we just go back to the throat sex?”
“You’d rather see this fool get raped instead of massacred?!” Steel Wu cried indignantly. “What’s wrong with you?!”
“Hey, I’m just speaking what’s on all of our minds!” Tron defended herself. “Don’t shoot the messenger!”
“Lmfao, loving this conversation.” Steel Wu snarked as Jayden took advantage of his focus turning to Tron to slip away. “Now you’re bringing up shootings?”
“I don’t think that was the context of what she said…” Ren stepped in to defend Tron.
“Yes, let’s not ignore the context of a shooting joke, Ren for president.” Steel Wu scoffed as Jayden peered out a window and was pleased to see that the crashed plane was still up on a hill not far away.
“Yes!” Jayden exclaimed in thought. “I just have to bring it over here somehow…”
“Trust the force, Jayden…” a familiar voice whispered in Jayden’s mind.
“That voice...Clappy?” Jayden replied. “So that’s what I need to do. I have to use my powers to levitate that plane over here…”
“YOU GOT YOUR RAPE IN MY SHOOTING!” Steel Wu continued to mock Tron and Ren. “YOU GOT YOUR SHOOTING IN MY RAPE!”
While Steel Wu’s attention was still diverted, Jayden was able to levitate the plane up from the hill, much to his delight. However, his delight became horror once he heard the plane’s engine somehow start up again, and fly by itself at full speed towards the prison…
“EVERYONE, GET DOWN, NOW!” Jayden bellowed. “THE PLANE’S GOING TO CRASH INTO THE PRISON!”
“YOU GOT YOUR KAMIKAZE IN MY TORTURE CHAMBER!” Steel Wu kept joking, thinking Jayden was just messing with him, but he soon gasped in shock as he looked out the window just before the plane hit the prison and exploded in a ball of fire. Meanwhile, the pilot of another plane that was flying close by, revealed to be Hawkbit, looked out at the explosion and snickered to himself.
“Pretty lights…” he said to himself ominously. “What do you think...OMJ?”
Dramatic music played as it was revealed that OMJ was in the passenger’s seat…
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Hell yeah, FMA rules. Like Rurouni Kenshin, it's one of those series that I keep coming back to because I never get tired of admiring how much pruning and effort went into its complex and mature themes. Even characters that used to kind of get on my nerves, I find new things to appreciate about them.
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Though it's not in color, I did a sketch of Star Butterfly at SOF's request.
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Glad to see this getting a revival. I was bummed that the original stopped at just a one-shot and would enjoy seeing what you'll do different this time.
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Episode 11: Canceled...Kind of
“Good on kind of ripping off that title from Rusty’s Raping Rampage!” Crazy Celes exclaimed, standing in the office of the network executive from earlier with Adrian, Felix, and the SBCers.
“Doesn’t it make sense though,” interjected Felix, “seeing as the original title of this literature was “Rusty’s Raping Rampage Rip-off”?”
“Actually, the real, original original title was “Adrian Bruce”...” Adrian remarked in frustration. “Not “Crazy Celes”...she stole my thunder like she steals everything.”
“Indeed!” Celes confirmed proudly. “And I already did it again! That’s why I joked about the title instead of Spongetron!”
“Really?” Spongetron replied despondently. “Then what I am supposed to do in this lit now?”
“Nothing.” the network executive, an old Japanese man who sounded like Ozu from Kappa Mikey, answered. “You are fired! All of the SBCers in this lit are fired! You have four episodes left to wrap up the story and then you go!”
“WHAT?!” the SBCers yelled. “WHY?!”
“Don’t act so surprised.” the old man responded with a smug grin on his face. “You should admit that you saw this coming after terminoob shared that leak. SBC just doesn’t sell these days. What does sell is mobile!”
Everyone gave him a disparaging look as he pulled out an iPhone with a Spongebob reddit page on it, save for Spongetron.
“He’s got a point.” Spongetron concurred, playing a Yo-Kai Watch game on her tablet.
“Not to mention that now, most of you are dead.” the old man continued to explain. “And it’s easier to sell products under the brand name of a dead celebrity than keep a living celebrity employed.”
“Oh my God…” the SBCers went as they realized what was really going on. “You planned this from the beginning! You’ve been working behind the scenes to break us apart and get us killed just to promote your business! You’re a piece of shit human being, Ozu!”
“That’s Kozuki to you.” the old man revealed his name, unphased. “Now then, leave my office. I have no more business with you.”
However, the SBCers persisted, turning to Adrian and Felix to demand answers.
“How involved were you in this?”
“I know little of the way this “company” is managed.” Adrian answered truthfully. “The only order I was given that I obeyed was recording everything. It was the same case for my brother.”
“Even if we had refused to have any involvement, it would have made no difference.” Felix explained their situation. “In fact, more of you would have died had we refused their orders and done nothing.”
“So you two sincerely were trying to help us.” the SBCers replied, feeling calmer before they turned to Celes. “But what about you?”
“I’m even more involved in this than Kozuki!” Celes confessed proudly again. “I just want to cause chaos and make everyone’s lives harder!”
“so she like i’n Discord, the master of troll” SOF said, as Kozuki began to appear frustrated, pushing a button on his cell phone.
“I thought I told you kids from SBC to leave…” Kozuki reminded them.
“Yeah, I don’t know why we haven’t left Xat yet to move to Discord.” Crushing said with disregard to what Kozuki meant, frustrating him even more.
“Do you want me to have security escort you out?” Kozuki threatened.
“Anyone else getting tired of that old guy ordering us around?” the SBCers asked amongst themselves.
“I, for one, don’t feel we should have to listen to what some old Japanese guy has to say!” Jackie Chan exclaimed. “I say we fight him!”
“Yeah, why shouldn’t we?!” the SBCers agreed. “We have fucking Yo-Kai powers now and nothing left to lose! And Jackie Chan! So let the bastard call his security guards and we’ll just whoop their asses! Everyone, CHARGE!”
The SBCers rushed and jumped towards Kozuki, who smiled to himself menacingly, whispering under his breath…
“Fools...my security guards have already been ordered to remove you from the premises…”
To the surprise of the SBCers, all of them suddenly vanished into a puff of smoke. Kozuki continued to chuckle to himself.
“They just couldn’t accept that they simply wouldn’t cut it in an action show…” he boasted. “I find it beneath me to play along with their childish games, which is why I must thank my ringers who have blended in with their circle…”
“You have spies?” Adrian asked.
“Yes.” Kozuki confirmed. “The shady character...he’s one of my agents. He has leaked all of SBC’s deepest and darkest secrets to me. Would you like to meet him?”
Kozuki then inputted something on his phone, and all of a sudden, the spiral from before appeared below Adrian, Felix, and Celes, taking them back to where they were before. As the trio appeared on the ground where the plane had crashed, Felix was the first to notice a change of scenery...
“Hey, where’s the plane?” Felix asked, looking around to see that the crashed plane was no longer there. “And where did that Elasticorn guy go off to?”
“Vacation.” Elasticorn answered, sitting on clouds above the weed farm that was still giving off smoke. “4/20 blaze it bitches. Anyone needs me, I’ll be working on my dream novel. And you bet your ass it’s going to star terminoob.”
Adrian and Felix then remembered what Kozuki said about terminoob and put two and two together…
“It’s him...he’s the shady character…”
“Surprising, right?” Celes said in a taunting tone of voice as her face transformed into terminoob’s. “WHO WOULD’VE GUESSED?!”
To be continued…
Next time, on Crazy Celes Z! The long-awaited fight between Jayden and Steel Wu finally commences! But will it be worth the hype after all this filler? Will having only four episodes to wrap up so much conflict and so many major plot points spoil the show?
“I don’t know.” Terminoob replied. “I watched the leak of the entire fight and I can’t say for sure whether I liked it or not.”
Tune in next time folks to hear Terminoob’s long-awaited opinions on the much anticipated fight!
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I Don't Know Anything - Andrew W.K.
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Homeless - Old Skull
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Crazy Celes
The show is going to be sort of canceled on April 20th in celebration of 4/20. A special episode will air then, starring the entire cast in a meeting with the old man in his office about the unfortunate future of the series.
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Fantastic episode, even if swag is so overused. Crushing should've gone up against succ.
3 hours ago, Shinji Ikari said:...Huh. This is absolutely true, but what do I care? I'm just some moron who just wants to go about his business reviewing underground obscure music, posting lits, and just lurking.
In any case, good job, even if my overall opinion is "eh".
You are well on your way to achieving true neutrality, young grasshopper.
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Crazy Celes
in Davy Jones' Locker
Posted
Episode 15: The Crazy Final Finale
“Time to pay ol’ Kozuki a visit…” Celes said ominously as she began to fly the helicopter.
“I think i’m be sick…” SOF intervened. “HOW LONG WHAT WERE YOU PLANNING ON DOING THIS”
“We plotted everything with Crazy Celes before we got on the plane.” Clappy explained in a sinister tone. “Since we’ve learned of SBC’s declining traffic and inevitable demise, it’s been our dream to watch the site’s community crash and burn in the world’s greatest country of socialism and war. How I used to long for SBC to be just like North Korea, but then they began to speak of peace and the end of a dictatorship! And worst of all, they WANTED TO THANK TRUMP FOR IT! INEXCUSABLE! That’s why we must do violence upon this nation...we will start a war with North Korea and have both SBC and the rest of the world go down in flames like it was supposed to! And once all is done, I will no longer be known as SBC’s Nostalgia Critic...I will forever be known as...SBC’s Moviebob!”
“good see return of bobby talks cinema” SOF said innocently, not understanding.
“SILENCE!” Clappy exclaimed. “Silence is all I will have from fools like you who mock and dissent me when this is over! It is high time I had you see why they call me...the Ghostmaster…MWA HA HA HA HA HA!”
Clappy laughed evilly as he began clapping his hands furiously, summoning the ghosts of the victims of his massacre to wreak havoc on the SBCers, who were now screaming and running in circles.
“Yes, flee, go around in your circles, you fools!” Clappy mocked. “For no matter what circle you create, it will never triumph over the circle I’ve made that will go around me forever and establish my eternal rule!”
“Uh, me?” Jelly questioned. “Excuse me, buster, I thought this was about us ruling together.”
“Too bad, I was only using you!” Clappy retorted. “I was just waiting for the perfect time to stab you in the back and you couldn’t see it!”
“Well, the joke’s on you, because so was I.” Jelly returned the taunt. “I’ve had one of my blades in your back the whole time we’ve been talking.”
Clappy then realized that the blade on Jelly’s right arm was gone, and turned around to see it wedged deep in his back.
“NO! HOW COULD I HAVE NOT PREDICTED THAT SOMETHING WOULD BE ABLE TO PENETRATE MY HARD SKIN-oh wait,” Clappy lamented his situation before he realized something, “I’m dead now, I don’t have skin. What the fuck was the point of that?”
“To distract you from the trap of doom I set up.” Jelly explained as Clappy saw the ghost trap that was now on the floor, and that Jelly had replaced the blade on her arm with a proton ray.
“NO!” Clappy screamed as Jelly zapped him with the ray and pulled him into the trap. “HOW COULD I HAVE NOT PREDICTED THAT WOMEN COULD BE GHOSTBUSTERS IN TODAY’S PROGRESSIVE SOCIETY?!”
“Don’t try and deny it, it’s the way you wanted to go.” Jelly taunted him one last time before he was fully sucked into the trap. “It’s every cuck’s dream to be utterly defeated by a trap.”
“I remember when I thought that was my dream…” hilaryfan80 snarked, angering Homie once again, who gave him a nudge.
“So now that you’ve defeated your male oppressor, what do you plan to do now?” Homie asked curiously. “I hope you’ve not just magically found Jesus, because Jesus sucks and only old people like him.”
“Uh, I don’t know.” Jelly said dopily, picking her nose with her left blade arm and causing it to bleed. “I guess from now on, I’ll be fighting for love, friendship, and girl power for everyone except Tron while I wait for everyone to forget about all the people I killed!”
This suggestion was met with a loud, resounding “YAY!!!” from everyone before the lights went out and a gunshot was heard...when the lights came back on, Jelly was shown to be frozen with liquid nitrogen as Adrian and Felix stood beside her. With a swift karate chop, Adrian broke Jelly into pieces that were scattered all over the floor.
“Yeah, I don’t play that game.” Adrian told the stunned SBCers bluntly. “I don’t want any of you to forget what I just did.”
“don’t worry all forgiven” SOF replied, annoying Adrian. “anyway, how do git home go”
“We wanted to get home on the helicopter we flew here on…” Felix explained in a distraught tone. “...but Crazy Celes hijacked it, murdering our men in the process. As we paid our respects to them, one of them told us with his dying words about a soldier becoming a shadowy figure and saying something about SOF…”
“oh no i hope he didn’t find out i was illumichati” SOF replied, not realizing until it was too late what he just gave away.
“Huh?!” Adrian went. “What do you know that we don’t?!”
“oops i’m sorry” SOF “apologized” as he readied a teleportation spell. “anyways, gtg”
“STOP!” Adrian cried out as she and Felix rushed towards him in time to touch him and be teleported to his destination with him.
“Well, that sucks.” the SBCers remarked. “How do we get home now?”
Just then, they heard the sound of ACS and OMJ’s plane flying outside, and turned around to see their vehicle through the hole that had been made in the prison.
“Need a lift?” OMJ asked.
Everyone boarded the plane. After it took off, someone asked…
“Wait, what about Jjs, Wumbo, and terminoob?”
“They wanted to stay behind.” ACS replied. “They wanted to get home on their own vehicle that they’re putting together. I decided to let them be them, even if whatever they build can’t beat plane travel, a ride on the good ol’ Hellcat.”
“The what?” the SBCers replied in confusion, to ACS’ annoyance.
“Makes you glad you were partnered with someone who played Jak and Daxter, doesn’t it?” OMJ teased him.
As the plane flew off, terminoob snickered to himself in the voice of Crazy Celes as it took off…
“Yes, enjoy your plane ride for now…” she said sinisterly. “You can keep the plane too. Fly to another world if you’d like and find out where people who have mysteriously disappeared have gone off too…”
While Celes was talking to herself, Jayden looked upon the duel runner he had finally finished with parts he had collected from the prison with a sense of accomplishment.
“Come on buddy, let’s take this baby out for a spin!” Jayden exclaimed to Steel Wu as they got on the two-seater motorbike and it took off.
“We’re off to see the world!” Steel Wu cried happily. “And not like in the MLP song, Steel!”
However, the two’s joy soon turned to frustration when they came to a sign that said, “NO LEFT TURNS”. Stopping the bike, they grumbled amongst themselves.
“Who does that crushing guy think he is?” Jayden said angrily. “If I ever see him again, I’ll ride circles around him!”
“I have an idea on how to show him what for.” Steel Wu suggested. “Let’s make it home by only turning the bike left the entire way!”
Agreeing with the idea, Jayden turned the bike as hard to the left as he could and accelerated, causing them to go around in a circle. They continued to go around and around before Jayden lost control of the bike and it zoomed off a cliff, where they fell in the water below. At an Olympic-style judge stand, terminoob gave them what appeared to be a score of 10 on a card…
“Don’t get your hopes up…” he said forebodingly as he pulled the 10 card apart. “10 is for 1 and 0. 1 is the extra point of credit for effort, 0 is for everything else. What is everything else, you might ask? I couldn’t figure out what grade to give SBC in this current age, so I’ve just decided to go with S for snoozefest, B for bullshit, C for cuckery, F for fuckery, and P for phuckery. Look, I do see a small bit of hope left for this site improving, but the way it’s going now, it’s not going to improve at all. What I would re...co...men...d...d...ddddd-jsan”
“Mwa ha ha ha ha ha…” Celes laughed evilly, taking over again. “They can’t hear you...they’re too busy drowning in the blue…now then, time to move to another plane...”
All of a sudden, Celes was in another plane of reality where she was piloting the helicopter, flying closer to the twin towers of Kozuki’s company…
“Oh, I can only imagine the look on his face when I come CRASHING IN!” she cried as she imagined crashing her plane against the tower and causing Kozuki to go flying out the building while playing a game on his cell phone, happily declaring, “The best part is that you can take it anywhere you go!”.
“AH HA HA HA HA HEE HOO!” Celes laughed maniacally as she put the plane into full thrust towards the side of the building...only to be met with the side of the building exploding before the plane had a chance to collide. Meanwhile, the plane the SBCers were on had made its way back to America, and was flying by the World Trade Center in New York City.
“Ah, it’s good to be home.” the SBCers said with a sigh of relief.
“Yes, it’s good to be back in our own preferred little crazy worlds…” ACS said ominously. “But first, I want to welcome you to my world…”
ACS then began to transform…
Meanwhile, someone was having a phone call...with Renegade.
“Yeah, all three of them are with me right now.” Ren told Kozuki on the phone, referring to SOF, Adrian, and Felix. “It seems none of them truly knew that I was the one who founded the Illumichati. ...Yes, Felix caught onto the references. He thought the show’s emphasis on flying vehicles and parodies was both a nod to Gradius and Parodius. He even wondered by there was no reference to the code. ...Oh yeah, more importantly, they figured out about the alternate dimensions and what was part of our show. Rest assured, their silence is sworn. They bought my trust in helping me do away with those murderous fools who thought they could meddle with our affairs. With their help and terminoob’s combined, we’re sure to give this pathetic circlejerk eyes to see again...Mr. President.”
Ren hung up the phone as spy movie music played.
Inside the plane, ACS turned to the SBCers and sneered as he finished his transformation into...Elasticorn.
“Welcome to the real world.” he said sinisterly.
THE END