Rap Critic

Patrick walks into Mrs. Puff's Boating School to vote for Obama Patrick: Good afternoon, good sir. I would like to cast a vote for one Barack Obama. Fish Attendant: Okay, sir. Do you have a Voter ID Card? Patrick: nervously sweats A-a what? Fish Attendant: A Voter Id Card. Sir, I can't let you vote without a Voter ID Card. Patrick: Uh... yeah! It's in... my other pants. I'll be right back. rushes out Time passes, Patrick returns with shorts coloured inversely to his usual shorts Patrick: All right sir, I believe everything is in order. hands Fish Attendant a card Fish Attendant: Sir? Patrick: Yes? Fish Attendant: Sir, this is a baseball card of a player who doesn't exist, with "baseball" spelled wrong. Patrick: ...Yes? Fish Attendant: Sir, if you want to vote for Obama, you need a Registered Voter Card. Are you registered to vote? Patrick: thinks back to earlier that week SpongeBob: passing Patrick's house See you later, Patrick! I'm going to go register to vote. Patrick: watching TV I won't keep you waiting. The television screen shows a test pattern. Cut back to present Patrick: Panics, runs out SPONGEBOB! Cut to SpongeBob's pineapple, SpongeBob and Gary are playing chess SpongeBob: Now, Gary, I do think you'll regret that move later. I'm about to take your pawn. Gary: Makes a move to knock out Spongebob's queen Meow. SpongeBob: Checkmate?! Aww, best 42 of 83? Patrick: banging at SpongeBob's door SPONGEBOB! SpongeBob: Yeeees, who is it? Patrick: Knocks down SpongeBob's door SpongeBob, I need to register to vote! SpongeBob: Well, why didn't you say so, Patrick? Gosh, I would have thought you'd have that all taken care of. Patrick: SpongeBob, there comes a time in every man's life where he admits he needs some help. So... will you admit to me that you need me to help you help me register to vote? SpongeBob: Sure thing, buddy. What are friends for? Patrick: I know! Cut to Barg'N Mart. SpongeBob and Patrick are holding up the checkout line. Cashier: For the last time, this is not how you register to vote!! SpongeBob: Excuse me sir, I'll have you know I was here last week and you said I was registered to vote! Cashier: YES! You wouldn't stop asking. I wanted you OUT OF HERE! Old Man Jenkins: Come on now, while we're young! SpongeBob: looks sheepishly at cashier Do you at least have one of those buttons? Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick being kicked out of Barg'N Mart. SpongeBob gets up and dusts himself off. SpongeBob: Well, looks like I'm not registered to vote either. Patrick: Well, who do we both know that knows their way around a system of politics that is so intricate so as to stump the brightest of minds? SpongeBob and Patrick have a joint idea. Their lightbulbs merge to form a lightbulb with a big nose. To be continued, maybe, I don't know, have a great day