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jjsthekid

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Everything posted by jjsthekid

  1. pokemon unbound is better than most pokemon games but y'all ain't ready for that conversation 

    1. Danny DeVito

      Danny DeVito

      this is vietnamese crystal erasure smh

    2. Steel Sponge

      Steel Sponge

      game freak hire this guy

  2. Episode 4: Breaking Sponge One day, the cafeteria is seen being overcrowded by angry, hungry campers. They’re acting like the ravenous Krusty Krab customers eventually would, that foreshadowing! Plankton’s special c(h)um is on the menu for today, and it turns out that isn’t quite appealing to the campers, who would’ve thought? Krabs hears all the complaints and bursts in faster than a barefoot jack rabbit, sensing yet another lawsuit in the pit of his wallet (yep, we’re gonna milk this gag). He asks what the kids are bitching about, to which they say they hate Plankton’s food and want Mr. Lyle cooking instead. Plankton refuses to budge, but Krabs steps on him. Krabs says that Lyle took today off, which he wouldn’t allow if he was in charge, so he offers to cook some old fashioned navy food. Unfortunately, the kids don’t want that either, which makes Krabs aggravated. :grrr: He then says if these snowflakes can do better, then one of them should cook. SpongeBob decides to take the challenge, offering to cook. He’s always dreamed about being a fry cook and decides to use this as a first step into the career. Krabs shrugs and decides to give it a shot. He says Plankton will be working with SpongeBob or he’s fired. Who knows, maybe even Plankton will learn how to actually cook something that isn’t fucking disgusting from the kid (spoiler: he won’t). Plankton hides his annoyance and pretends to be excited, as the two get into the kitchen. Meanwhile, Giancarlo realizes one of the campers, Squidward Tennisballs-whoops, Tentacles, has an uncanny resemblance to the mysterious health inspector. He wonders if they are somehow related. Jonathan Banks says there’s plenty of octopi in the sea and it could be a coincidence. Still, Giancarlo suggests Banks delicately question him to see what he knows. Banks says he will do so, while Giancarlo begins researching through the history of Mein Kampf Koral to see if there’s anything he missed. He suspects something fishy is going on around here (drum snare), especially after Banks claims the intruder teleported away like some supernatural creature. Giancarlo knows there’s more to this mysterious health inspector than meets the eye. As Giancarlo shifts through old documents, he finds an old report of some people who tried to claim this land long ago, but got scared away by an alleged “magic Nazi squid.” Nobody took them seriously so the claim was dismissed. Giancarlo believes he’s found his smoking gun and continues to investigate. Back at the kitchen, SpongeBob is ready to cook. Plankton tries to mentor SpongeBob, but that goes about as well as you expect. First, Plankton commands SpongeBob to boil water, but ends up making it on fire. Plankton then suggests something easier, asking him to cut bread. SpongeBob tries to cut the bread, but the knife accidentally goes flying at Plankton, who barely avoids it. To which Plankton replies “too bad that didn’t kill me” (look look we’re referencing an episode you’d rather be watching!). SpongeBob then tries whisking, but gets whisked himself. He then tries to mold some dough, but Plankton gets hurt instead. Plankton has had it, telling SpongeBob to get the fuck out. SpongeBob begs him to give him another chance, for he wants to be the sea’s best fry cook, even pulling the sappy puppy eyes. Plankton, against his better judgment, says he’ll give him one last chance, but he has to actually make something to get his seal of approval. So, SpongeBob gets to work and within a few minutes, whips something up. Plankton asks what it is, and SpongeBob says it’s a special soufflé. Plankton tries it, and it’s…surprisingly good? Perhaps this kid really did have potential after all, but he tells him not to get too cocky. SpongeBob considers it a success and lets out a victory screech (moar references!!!). Plankton tells him to make another. Skodwarde is eavesdropping outside of the cafeteria, and hatches another genius idea that will get Giancarlo in hot water. Skodwarde uses his god powers to make a bunch of meth ingredients fall into SpongeBob’s current soufflé. When it comes out of the oven, it's crystal blue colored, which has Plankton curious and SpongeBob confused. Plankton tries it and reaches ecstasy. Plankton says to SpongeBob he's got a magic touch and that the two of them will make a great team, so here's a low budget visual to accompany that: SpongeBob wants to say he's not sure if it's supposed to look like that, but is happy his chef career is taking off so he decides not to say anything. Skodwarde uses his god powers to replace all of the normal soufflé ingredients with meth, which SpongeBob puts in for his next batch. Plankton passes out the crystal blue soufflé to the campers, who dig in at once, and reach ecstasy as well. Skodwarde gets a good laugh out of this and then begins to call somebody. Banks sees Squidward sitting on his chair, still reading Essential Elements for Band: Bb Bass Clarinet and approaches him. Squidward looks up, annoyed and asks what he wants. Banks says he’d like to ask him a few questions, assuming he’s not wasting his precious time. Squidward says he’ll try. Banks asks him if he has any relatives, to which Squidward says of course. He then asks if any of them are health inspectors, which Squidward denies. He then asks if any have been to this camp before. Squidward then starts to grow suspicious on why Banks is asking him this, but Squidward tells him no. Banks thanks him for his time and walks away. Squidward starts to wonder if Skodwarde's been dicking around with the camp again and needs to find him immediately. As the campers eat their soufflé, Sandy, being the only one there with a brain, realizes the color of it is similar to what Nobby and Narlene had. She tells the campers to stop eating that because it's bad for you, but they look at her like she's a stupid squirrel and ignore her warnings. Typical. Sandy peeks into the kitchen to see SpongeBob and Plankton making the crystal blue soufflé, assuming Plankton is tricking SpongeBob into making meth. Suddenly, a police car pulls up to the camp, and the God of Supremacy Orange Cop (!) gets out of it. Banks sees this and alerts Giancarlo, who both try to hide their worried looks. Giancarlo asks the officer what he can do for him. God of Supremacy Orange Cop says he received a notice that meth was spotted on this camp. Giancarlo assumes he's referring to the narwhals and tells them those were two intruders who were "dealt with." However, GOSOC says he was alerted of this today and needs to investigate pronto. Banks asks if he has a warrant, and the GOSOC pulls one out of his ass. The two can't argue with that, but aren't quite sure what to do now. Sandy then runs out of the cafeteria and tells the adults that Plankton snuck blue meth into their food. The GOSOC thanks the squirrel for her tip and barges into the kitchen, with SpongeBob and Plankton both putting their hands up. GOSOC gets the tiny handcuffs, arresting Plankton. Plankton is outraged, wanting to know the meaning of this. GOSOC explains he's been serving blue meth to children, confusing him. He points to the spiked soufflé, to which Plankton tries blaming SpongeBob, but SpongeBob says he was just using Plankton's ingredients. Plankton tries to protest this, ranting how he's been setup, wants a lawyer, and that he hates the police. GOSOC has heard enough and takes Plankton away. Krabs gives a hearty laugh, saying he always expected Sheldon to end up like this. Plankton vows he will destroy him! Giancarlo apologizes to GOSOC for this employee's actions and promise he does not reflect all of Mein Kampf Koral (the more he says that out loud the more you wonder why nobody suspects anything). GOSOC thanks Sandy for snitching, though Sandy looks at Giancarlo suspiciously, fearing she may have gotten the wrong guy. Plankton says he doesn’t need them and vows that when he gets out of prison, which probably won't take long, he'll open his own successful restaurant because he went to college. He says he won't miss this place but promises he’ll try to remember them all in therapy, as he's thrown into GOSOC's car. Plankton gives them the double bird and shouts "so long, assholes!" as it drives off into the distance. Sandy notes how curiously, nobody got sick from the blue meth this time. SpongeBob suspects maybe his magic touch prevented them from getting sick, and feels even more confident than before now about his cooking abilities. Giancarlo and Banks know Plankton was set up by their "friend", but they wanted to get rid of him for a while, and nobody liked his cooking, anyways, so they can't complain about this turnout. Still, they were cutting it pretty close there and know they need to act fast. Giancarlo tells Bank he's discovered who has been causing them trouble: an ancient god known as "Skodwarde". Squidward looks around for Skodwarde, demanding an explanation, but is unable to find him. Skodwarde, looking from afar, is annoyed his scheme has backfired, although is happy it's lit something a fire under Giancarlo's ass. He wanted to do this easily and quietly, but he now realizes he'll have to do something extreme to hurt Giancarlo's image. He has a devious look on his face, and no, it's not gay thoughts this time.
  3. It's that time of the year again. You know the drill. It's been a decade since the height of Season 8's praise on SBC (lol), and I'm curious to see how it holds up to the community now in the current year. Which episodes will flop and which will reign victorious? Round 5: Match 44: Planet of the Jellyfish vs. Mooncation Match 45: Frozen Face-Off vs. It’s a SpongeBob Christmas! You have until Wednesday, January 19th at 5pm EST to vote. We will then move onto Round 6, the finale. Feel free to post your reasonings for why you voted which episode.
  4. Winners: Match 40: Planet of the Jellyfish Match 41: Mooncation Match 42: Frozen Face-Off Match 43: It's a SpongeBob Christmas! These will move onto Round 5, the semifinals.
  5. 4/10 In "Sleepy Time", Patrick was originally going to dream himself up a new quarter, but it was funnier for him to lose it.
  6. Episode 3: In Search of Camp Kidney One day, the campers are all bored, waiting for something interesting to happen. That’s right, this spin-off is so creatively bankrupt and soulless our characters are that bored, only three episodes in! Squidward is relaxing on a chair, reading Essential Elements for Band: Bb Bass Clarinet. Skodwarde kept demanding that Squidward read a strange book called Mein Kampf, but Squidward had no interest in that, for he only reads true literary talent. Sandy wonders what happened to Narlene and Nobby, to which Krabs assures her that Mr. Esposito sent them on their way and they won’t be a problem anymore. Giancarlo is standing outside of his cabin, looking around his surroundings sharply and carefully. He cannot afford another security breach in his operation. Giancarlo then receives a phone call and answers it. On the other end, a voice tells him “The Elites have heard about his recent problems” (confirming Giancarlo is a part of the group) and ask if he needs any further assistance in squashing them. Giancarlo assures he has everything under control and that the narwhals are taken care of, but will call back if any other issues crop up. The Elites are pleased by this, and end their call by saying “Hail Satan.” Skodwarde observes the bored camp with his binoculars. He needs to scout the place to figure out where Giancarlo is hiding his meth, and if he’s a part of a larger conspiracy, but can’t do that with these obnoxious kids everywhere. Skodwarde prefers to lay low and not reveal himself to the world. He then hatches a genius idea to distract them. Skodwarde knows of a secret camp nearby named Camp Kidney. Yes, the very same Camp Kidney from Cartoon Network show Camp Lazlo. It’s not a Skodwarde production without at least one shameless crossover, ar ar ar! We also know you’d probably rather be watching that than reading this, so we’re going to taunt you. He decides he’ll turn it into a legend to get the kids on a wild goose chase. How ironic, the legend making his own legend. Skodwarde looks at Patrick, who he views as the perfect pawn to spread the rumor. Patrick is throwing rocks a tree stump for some reason, when Skodwarde uses his god powers to make a note appear in his hand. Patrick tries to read the note, but can't make it out. This frustrated Skodwarde, who then dumbs it down to a language Patrick can decipher. Patrick gasps upon reading it, realizing there's a "secret, mysterious Camp Kidney nearby with treasure in it." Patrick tells his finding to the other campers, who aren't sure if they believe him or not. But Krabs says he's heard the legend too, shocking them all. He's tried to hunt for this supposed Camp Kidney for a while, but had no luck in doing so. This piques the interest of the other campers now, finally giving them something to do. So, SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, Squidward and Mr. Krabs decide to go on a hunt to see if this mysterious camp really exists, or if this is bullshit. A few other groups of campers also decide to go on a hunt, but nobody gives a shit about them. Now with the main cast out of the way and only a few irrelevant background campers remain, Skodwarde sees this as a perfect opportunity to take a little tour of the camp. He uses his god powers to disguise himself as a health inspector. As he walks on the holy grounds, Skodwarde feels his god powers getting quite a spike in power. He knew this place was special and belonged to him. He wouldn’t let these little shits and a drug lord take his land. Health Inspector Skod whistle and walks around, then comes across Giancarlo sweeping outside a cabin. Giancarlo politely asks what he can do for him, to which Skod says he's a health inspector and wants to examine the area, flashing his fake badge. Giancarlo is curious, saying he didn't know about a scheduled health inspector visit, but Skod says the letter must have been lost. Giancarlo is suspicious but decides to let him take a look around for now, as Skod does so. Giancarlo then contacts Jonathan Banks, asking him to follow that health inspector around and see what he's up to. Meanwhile, after some nautical nonsense involving whacky hijinks and slapstick, SpongeBob and friends finally discover Camp Kidney, as the Camp Lazlo theme plays in the background! (hopefully they won’t sue) Krabs nearly lets out a couple of tears, surprised to see it's actually real. They observe the Camp Lazlo animal cast in fascination, as if they’ve discovered one of the wonders of the world. But there’s also a talking squirrel in the group, so this shouldn’t be the strangest thing they’ve ever seen. The group approaches the camp, surprising the scouts. Scoutmaster Lumpus is annoyed at the trespassers on his camp and demands they leave. Krabs negotiates, saying they're from a nearby camp who wanted to check the place out, suggesting they could partner up. Lazlo trusts they're good people and convinces Lumpus to let them explore the camp. The groups hit it off at first, having a good old time and everything seems fine. But the more they explore the camp, the more sense something very sus about it. Something feels...off. Why exactly are Camp Lazlo characters underwater? SpongeBob and Patrick throw a frisbee with Lazlo and Raj, when it accidentally smashes into Lumpus's office. SpongeBob and Patrick decide to go get it, which worries Lazlo and Raj. SpongeBob and Patrick enter the cabin, and discover incriminating evidence that Lumpus is not who he claims to be! Sandy discovers some of her own evidence too that this camp is not what it seems. After being caught and confronted, Lumpus unzips his costume to reveal himself as... a shark!? Every other Camp Lazlo character unzips their costumes revealing themselves to be sharks as well. It is revealed that this camp is actually a money laundering front for The Sharks, a communist mafia gang that act as rivals to both Giancarlo and Skodwarde. Yes, the very same Sharks that OMJ teased in a few S9 episodes but didn't go quite the way he envisioned because Trophy had a different vision in mind for his episode, but I'm working my retcon magic to fuse both of their concepts together! Hey, we've had enough retcons so far, why not? (also is anyone honestly even keeping tabs on Skod lore by this point lol) The Sharks say they know too much and gotta get whacked, see. One of them grabs Squidward, ready to shoot him because we gotta get in obligatory Squid abuse somehow. Krabs won't let his kids be hurt and activates his inner Armor Ass Krabs, beating the living shit out of the sharks. Sandy unleashes some of her early karate moves cause we gotta get in feminist power. SpongeBob and Patrick activate their chaos nature, destroying the entire camp. Most of the sharks have been brutally beat up. The Sharks retreat, embarrassed they got beaten by children and a crab. They get the hell outta there and promise they'll be back someday (as seen in Skodwarde episode 198a!). The kids thank Krabs for his help and he tells them to never underestimate the power of a marine. Squidward says this was an awful experience and wants to finish reading his book. They head back, and yes, Squidward's feet do hurt him along the way. Sandy then begins wondering if that camp wasn't so clean, could their own camp have secrets too? Meanwhile, back Mein Kampf Koral, Skodwarde inspects as many cabins as he can for anything suspicious, but finds nothing. He breaks into Giancarlo's cabin, but finds nothing suspicious. Banks sees him in there and knows he's up to not good. Skodwarde then sets his sights on the cafeteria, heading inside. The head chef in there is a guy named Lyle, who is flipping away at the grill. Skodwarde tells Lyle to get outta there, saying he needs to examine this whole area for cleanliness. Lyle decides not to ask any questions and abides, leaving. Skodwarde looks around the kitchen, wondering if there's any secret entrances to the meth lab. But suddenly, Banks confronts him, pointing his gun. He tells him he knows he's not a real health inspector, and asks what he hell he's doing here. Skodwarde then uses his god powers to teleport away, as Banks misses his shots. Banks reports to Giancarlo about what happened, who looks concerned. Who was this fake health inspector? He worried the stupidity of the narwhals may have attracted an undercover DEA agent, or is this is an entirely unknown third party. He knows they have an actual threat on their hands now. Skodwarde then looks over the remains of The Sharks' former camp, pleased his plan to rid them worked out. He knew all along they were there and while he had hoped to wipe them all out entirely, they've still been driven away which is good enough. Now he plans to take down the other shady camp, pondering his next scheme to destroy Giancarlo.
  7. Discuss these two strange gentlemen who tried to sell SpongeBob something. I'm curious to learn more about their backstories.
  8. 118. SBC Wars Episode VII: The Force Goes Woke Film: The Force Awakens Thirty years after the Internet Civil War, the First Order (aka discount Empire) has risen from the fallen SBC Empire and seeks to end the New Universe Republic. The Community (aka discount Rebels) backed by the Republic and led by General Cha, opposes the First Order. Cha searches for her brother, Fred Skywalker, who has gone missing. On the desert planet Instakku, aka discount Xatooine, Community pilot Slug Dameron receives a map to Fred's place from Sebby. Stormtroopers commanded by Kylo Renegade raid the village and capture Slug, while Ren kills Sebby. Slug's droid, Chuu, escapes with the map and encounters a scavenger named Katniss (Hunger Games in space?). Ren tortures Slug using the Force and learns of Chuu. Stormtrooper FN-4052, disillusioned by the First Order, frees Slug, and they escape in a stolen TIE fighter. Upon learning that FN-4052 has no other name, Slug gives him the name "FinnDinner". As they head to Instakku to retrieve Chuu, a First Order Star Destroyer shoots them, and they crash-land. FinnDinner survives and finds only Slug's jacket in the wreck, leading to the assumption of his death. FinnDinner encounters Katniss and Chuu, but the First Order tracks them and launches an airstrike. Katniss, FinnDinner, and Chuu steal the Millennium Hellcat and escape the planet. The Hellcat is discovered and boarded by Hawk Solo and G4ry. Gangs seeking to settle debts with Hawk attack, but the group escape in the Hellcat. At the First Order's Starkiller Discord, a planet converted into a superweapon, aka discount Death Discord. Supreme Leader Joker allows General Hayden to use the weapon for the first time on the New Universe Republic. Joker questions Ren's ability to deal with emotions surrounding his father, Hawk Solo, who Ren states means nothing to him. Aboard the Hellcat, Hawk determines that Chuu's map is incomplete. He then explains that Fred attempted to rebuild the Jedi Order, but exiled himself when an apprentice turned to the dark side, destroyed the temple, and slaughtered the other apprentices. The crew travels to the planet Metadana and meets with cantina owner SG, who offers help getting Chuu to the Community. (Note: JCM makes a cameo as one of the cantina patrons) The Force draws Katniss to a secluded vault, where she finds the lightsaber once belonging to Fred and his father, Kevin Skywalker. She experiences disturbing visions and denies the lightsaber at SG's offering. She then flees into the woods, confused and terrified. SG gives FinnDinner the lightsaber for safekeeping. Starkiller Discord, much like the original Death Discord, destroys the New Universe Republic and its fleet leaving just the Community left. The First Order attacks Metadana in search of Chuu. Hawk, G4ry, and FinnDinner are saved by Community X-wing fighters led by Slug, who survived the crash. Cha arrives at Metadana with MEE6 and reunites with Hawk. Meanwhile, Ren captures Katniss and takes her to Starkiller Discord, but she resists his mind-reading attempts. Joker orders Ren to bring Katniss to him. Discovering she can use the Force, Katniss escapes using a Jedi mind trick on a guard. At the Community base on Invision, Chuu finds Robot Jones, who had been inactive since Fred's disappearance. As Starkiller Discord prepares to fire once more, the Community devises a plan to destroy it by attacking its thermal oscillator. Using the Hellcat, Hawk, G4ry, and FinnDinner infiltrate the facility, find Katniss, and plant explosives. Hawk confronts Ren, calling him by his birth name, and implores him to abandon the dark side. Ren seems to consider this, but ultimately kills his father instead. Devastated, G4ry shoots Ren and sets off the explosives, allowing Slug to attack and destroy the base's thermal oscillator. The injured Ren pursues FinnDinner and Katniss into the woods. FinnDinner fights Ren with the lightsaber to protect Katniss before Ren knocks him unconscious. Katniss takes the lightsaber and channels the Force to defeat Ren in a duel; they are then separated by a fissure as the planet's surface begins to splinter. Joker orders Hayden to evacuate and bring Ren to him to complete his training. G4ry rescues Katniss and the unconscious FinnDinner, and they escape aboard the Hellcat. As the Community forces flee, Starkiller Discord implodes. Robot Jones awakens and reveals the rest of the map, which leads Katniss to the oceanic planet Spotify-To in the Hellcat. On Spotify-To Katniss finds Fred atop a cliff on a remote island. Without a word, she presents him with his father's lightsaber.
  9. It's that time of the year again. You know the drill. It's been a decade since the height of Season 8's praise on SBC (lol), and I'm curious to see how it holds up to the community now in the current year. Which episodes will flop and which will reign victorious? Round 4: Match 40: Karen 2.0 vs. Planet of the Jellyfish Match 41: Plankton’s Good Eye vs. Mooncation Match 42: Way of the Sponge vs. Frozen Face-Off Match 43: It’s a SpongeBob Christmas! vs. The Good Krabby Name You have until Monday, January 17th at 5pm EST to vote. We will then move onto Round 5, the semifinals. Feel free to post your reasonings for why you voted which episode.
  10. Winners: Match 32: Karen 2.0 Match 33: Planet of the Jellyfish Match 34: Plankton’s Good Eye Match 35: Mooncation Match 36: Way of the Sponge Match 37: Frozen Face-Off Match 38: It’s a SpongeBob Christmas! Match 39: The Good Krabby Name These will all move onto Round 4.
  11. People of France! A good looking depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie!

  12. It's that time of the year again. You know the drill. It's been a decade since the height of Season 8's praise on SBC (lol), and I'm curious to see how it holds up to the community now in the current year. Which episodes will flop and which will reign victorious? Round 3: Match 32: Karen 2.0 vs. For Here or To Go Match 33: Planet of the Jellyfish vs. Sentimental Sponge Match 34: Oral Report vs. Plankton's Good Eye Match 35: Mooncation vs. Free Samples Match 36: Mr. Krabs Takes a Vacation vs. Way of the Sponge Match 37: Frozen Face-Off vs. The Other Patty Match 38: It's a SpongeBob Christmas! vs. Mermaid Man Begins Match 39: The Good Krabby Name vs. Glove World RIP You have until Friday, January 14th at 5pm EST to vote. We will then move onto Round 4. Feel free to post your reasonings for why you voted which episode.
  13. Results: Match 24: Mr. Krabs Takes a Vacation Match 25: Way of the Sponge Match 26: The Other Patty Match 27: Frozen Face-Off Match 28: Mermaid Man Begins Match 29: It's a SpongeBob Christmas! Match 30: The Good Krabby Name Match 31: Glove World RIP These will move onto Round 3.
  14. Episode 2: Crystal Squeeze One day, SpongeBob is stacking pinecones. Patrick bursts out from the pile and rudely interrupts him, crying that his candy is gone. Now…he’s gonna starve. They soon discover that other campers, including Sandy, had their candy stolen too. First innocent jellyfish getting gruesomely murdered, and now there’s a candy thief on the loose! A lot of weird shit is happening at this camp, many. Squidward suggests this must be Skodwarde’s doing yet again, to which the other campers groan in annoyance and then mock him. Sandy tells him to keep his nutty conspiracy theories to himself, as she wants to look at facts based on reality. SpongeBob, Patrick and Sandy then find a trail of candy wrappers (thankfully not left by Seb this time, obligatory ATTWL 3 callback!) which they suspect will lead them to the culprit. Skodwarde pulls Squidward aside again, telling him this isn't his doing for once, but Squidward doesn’t believe him. Squidward asks why he killed those poor jellyfish, to which Skod says he needed to lure the camp owner out, that and because he needed something to eat. Skod warns him to keep an eye on him for him, as he suspects he’s hiding something, but Squidward tells him to fuck off and keep his nutty conspiracy theories to himself. Skodwarde sighs, wishing his cousin, or anyone in general really, would listen to him. Later that night, Sandy gets an idea to set a trap for the candy thieves. SpongeBob acts as bait, wearing a candy costume. Suddenly, something bites his leg, freaking him out. The three shine their flashlights, revealing a little redneck stereotype narwhal known as Nobby. They shake the little shit off, who is then grabbed by his partner in crime, another redneck stereotype narwhals known as Narlene. Nobby realizes that's not actual candy (no shit). Sandy says they've caught them red handed, knowing they're the candy thieves. Narlene and Nobby confess, but reveal they meant no harm. They only wanted people's candy to help make a great new product for everyone. They reveal they discovered a secret candy called “Crystal Blue” and spiced it up by adding the stolen candy to it, showing it to the gang. It looks suspiciously a lot like blue meth, but with tons of sweets added on top of it. Sandy was warned by her parents about taking candy from strangers, so she politely declines. SpongeBob and Patrick are none the wiser though, so they gladly eat it. The two goobers are both sent to paradise, high off their rockers, as this plays in the background: Sandy suspiciously asks where they got this Crystal Blue from, to which Narlene says a good magician never reveals their secrets. Meanwhile, a secret underground laboratory beneath the camp is shown. Down there, tons of crystal blue meth, looking just like what Nobby and Narlene are providing, is being produced by workers. Giancarlo observes them carefully. It is revealed that the camp is a secret front for Giancarlo’s drug business, so Skodwarde was right for once. With the keen eye he has, Giancarlo notices the supply line is a little light and that they are missing product. He asks how this happened, and the workers look at each other nervously, hesitating to answer. One of them comes forward and reveals that two stupid narwhals managed to bury their way underground, finding the lab. They took several of the packages and escaped. Giancarlo is not happy that the lab has been compromised and that their product is out there, for he cannot let the kids discover it. He orders the workers to increase security precautions and ominously declares that he will "handle the thieves." Narlene and Nobby continue to sell their Crystal Blue candy to other campers, who happily dive in. Narlane reveals herself to be not that quite stupid, and reveals she's been working on an invention called "Crystal Squeeze" that makes the Crystal Blue candy for them. Sandy is admittedly impressed, as she sees the machine in action, systematically putting the candy onto the blue meth. The campers applaud, continue eating it up. However, Narlene and Nobby then realize they've run out of Crystal Blue to make, promising to get more. Unfortunately, soon the kids become sick from the meth candy fusion. Narlene admits she may have bit off more than she could chew, feeling nauseous. SpongeBob and Patrick admit they've had enough Crystal Blue for a lifetime. Squidward laughs at this, saying that's what they get for taking candy from strangers. Sensing yet another lawsuit in the pit of his wallet, Kounselor Krabs storms out of his office, looking at the sick campers. He asks who the hell the two narwhals are, seeing on his trusty list they're not registered campers. Narlene apologizes, saying she gave this candy out to everyone. Giancarlo appears out of the blue, handing out medicine to make the kids feel better. He tells them to get a good night's sleep to shake it off. He tells them he is not mad, but to be careful about trusting strangers, and ensures this will not happen again. The kids are inspired by this speech and already feel better. Giancarlo then gives that ominous glare to the two narwhal intruders, making them gulp. Giancarlo politely asks Narlene and Nobby to come with him, to which other campers suggest they’re probably in a lot of trouble. And you bet they are. Giancarlo takes them down to his office, then ominously locks the door behind. Narlene says they're sorry for this, saying they didn't mean to steal his blue candy, they were just curious. Giancarlo didn't want to resort to this, but has no choice as they've seen too much. He goes to his desk and pulls a box cutter knife out of it. He then grabs both narwhals and cuts off their horns with his knife, terrifying the two. He then begins gruesomely stabbing them to death with it, leaving quite a mess in the cabin. He orders one of his most trusted workers, Jonathan Banks (guest starring as himself) to clean up this mess. Sandy takes the narwhals' machine and decides to repurpose it into an acorn maker, helping inspire Sandy to make future contrived and insane inventions. Skodwarde, having watched these events through his binoculars, is curious about where the two dumbass narwhals got that blue meth from. He comes to the conclusion someone at this seemingly innocent camp is secretly making it, and sets his eyes on Giancarlo. Wait, no, not in that way…damnit!
  15. Episode 1: The Jellyfish Murderer One day, the French Narrator sets our CGI scene and introduces us to Mein Kampf Koral, one of the most popular and unsuspecting summer camps in the seas. There is absolutely nothing suspicious to investigate there, we promise. Pan down to a cabin, where kid SpongeBob wakes up in the morning feeling like P Diddy after an intense dream about… jellyfishing. Come on now, they’re kids, we’re not quite gonna go that dirty yet. SpongeBob needs to prove himself a great camper by catching his first jellyfish, a day that will be written in history books I'm sure. Kid versions of Patrick and Sandy appear, ready to go jellyfishing with him. Yep, even Sandy is present here, which infuriates many longtime Skodwarde fans for the blatant disregard of its tightly connected lore and continuity. But don’t worry, we’ll hopefully have a satisfying explanation that may make more sense than the show’s. Maybe, idk. Turn your brain off and ignore it for now. They see kid Squidward still sleeping in another bunk, who yes, does still exist at this point in the Skod timeline surprisingly. SpongeBob blows on his clarinet, the awful sounds awaking Squidward and every other camper. Squidward is scared shitless, then angrily takes the clarinet back from SpongeBob, telling him to never touch that. SpongeBob tells him he's gonna catch his first jellyfish today, and Squidward says he'll believe it when he sees it. The kids head outside, when Patrick begins to smell something that kind of smelly smelly, that smells...smelly. Unfortunately, it is not anchovies, but to his nose (wait...) it smells like something potentially illegal. Patrick holds that foreshadowing thought for another time. Larry is seen doing exercises with the kids, here SpongeBob tries to annoy them with jellyfish facts, but nobody really gives a damn. Bubblebath is seen helping give campers baths. Plankton serves...something rhyming with chum and fum to the kids. Sandy asks what it is, but he can't tell her or the camp would get shutdown in a heartbeat. When he serves SpongeBob his food, SpongeBob is very happy because this will give him motivation to catch his first jellyfish. Plankton doesn't have the heart to tell him, so he lets him believe that. Kounselor Krabs blows his whistle, signaling to the kids it's jellyfishing time! And yes, we're aware of what a further mindfuck it is that somehow SpongeBob knew Plankton and Krabs even as a kid, but we'll explain it. Or not. The campers all head to Jelly Meadow. However, the kids are horrified to see dead jellyfish lying on the ground, milked clean of all their sweet delicious jelly. Many kids are traumatized by this scene probably, and Krabs worries about the looming lawsuits. Squidward gasps, feeling that he knows who did this. He tells his fellow campers that his long lost German cousin named “Skodwarde” haunts this camp and is likely responsible for this heinous act. He also further explains that this camp was built on scared land belonging to Nazis and Skod's ancestors, hence why it’s called “Mein Kampf” which you’d think would’ve raised some eyebrows, but the ocean dwellers ain’t the brightest. They all think he’s bullshitting them and don’t take it seriously though, as you probably would too if someone tried unironically telling you something like that. Giancarlo Esposito (starring as himself), the manager of the camp, approaches after hearing all the ruckus. Krabs nervously tells him what happened, hoping he's not fired for this. Giancarlo tells him to relax, keeping a calm demeanor. Giancarlo tells the campers not to panic, as there are plenty of jellyfish in the sea and that this will be investigated. He also insists they not tell their parents to avoid lawsuits. Giancarlo mulls over what could've caused this, but ultimately assumes it was just a wild animal and shrugs it off. The campers head off to find other jellyfish. Suddenly, Skodwarde comes out of the shadows and pulls Squidward aside, telling him to keep his damn mouth shut. Squidward apologizes, saying he just wanted to add some fun to this boring experience, and it's not like they'll believe him anyways. Skodwarde however worries someone may believe it, as he sees Giancarlo investigating. SpongeBob asks who Squidward was talking to, as he turns around to see Skodwarde is gone. Bubblebath suggests it was probably "Skodwarde", as they all laugh at him. After some nautical nonsense of SpongeBob trying and failing to catch a jellyfish, needing to answer his mom's phone call, and breaking into Krabs's office, everyone is beat for the day. Giancarlo has been unable to get any leads of who the sick jellyfish murderer is, but he tells Plankton and Krabs to keep a weary out for anything. SpongeBob feels like a sad virgin because everyone else got a jellyfish but him. Sandy cheers him up by saying she may have a plan. The next morning, Sandy and Patrick rudely kidnap Squidward against his will. He’s painted pink, put in a bowl, and they convince him to act like a jellyfish. Squidward protests that this may not be a great idea with a deranged jellyfish murderer on the loose, but they promise they'll protect him, which only worries Squidward more. They dangle him from a fish line, and make him dance like a jelly so SpongeBob catches it. Patrick tells SpongeBob that there is a “big, ugly ass jellyfish." Skodwarde sees the Squidward Torture Porn in action, and he scoffs at this, claiming only he is allowed to torture his cousin. He then uses his god powers to summon an ugly ass monster to throw a wrench into their scheme and terrorize the camp for the lulz. After they find Jelly Squid, SpongeBob tries to catch it, but the line breaks, and Squidward goes out of control. When he lands, SpongeBob is about to catch him when a big eye opens, and Skodwarde’s monster eats Squidward. Skodwarde views this with a pair of binoculars and laughs at Squidward’s misery. SpongeBob, Patrick and Sandy chase the monster all the way to the camp. SpongeBob tries to talk to the monster afterwards, but it eats him. Note that us Skodwarde writers do not condone vore to avoid lawsuits. After landing in the monster's stomach, SpongeBob finds Squidward, and he blows a bubble that expands so much that it carries the two out of there. Everyone claps, until the bubble pops and the soap goes into their eyes. Sandy offers the monster some of Plankton’s c(h)um, terrifying it and causing it to run off like a baby. Skodwarde is not amused by the monster's performance, and vaporizes it. Nonetheless, this was only an experiment and he'll have better ways to fuck with the camp. Squidward gets out of the bowl, when Patrick says that SpongeBob caught his first jellyfish. Krabs cockblocks him, saying that since fake jellyfish don’t count, SpongeBob don’t get his jellyfishing badge. As a consolation prize though, he is rewarded a “saving a counselor from a monster” badge at least. Sandy then asks why that is a badge, but llike many things, she's not gonna get an answer to that question, ar ar ar! SpongeBob also gets a free complimentary Cuban cigar, to which Krabs insists “ye didn’t get it from me” in case his parents sue. SpongeBob feels honored and promises that when he does catch a jellyfish, he'll release it so it doesn't suffer the same fate as the poor ones earlier. Patrick wonders who the jelly murderer was, but Krabs assures them it was likely just a wild animal serving nature's will and nothing more. At his office, Giancarlo is curious about where this monster came from. Between that and the jellyfish murders, he ponders if someone is trying to disturb his business. He would not allow whoever is responsible to continue this. Skodwarde looks out from a bush, seeing Giancarlo walk to his cabin. Skodwarde doesn’t know why, but he has quite a suspicious feeling about this camp owner and vows he will expose his secret…
  16. It's that time of the year again. You know the drill. It's been a decade since the height of Season 8's praise on SBC (lol), and I'm curious to see how it holds up to the community now in the current year. Which episodes will flop and which will reign victorious? Round 2 Part 2: Match 24: Fiasco! vs. Mr. Krabs Takes a Vacation Match 25: Bubble Troubles vs. Way of the Sponge Match 26: The Other Patty vs. InSpongeiac Match 27: House Sittin' for Sandy vs. Frozen Face-Off Match 28: Mermaid Man Begins vs. Ghoul Fools Match 29: It's a SpongeBob Christmas! vs. Restraining SpongeBob Match 30: The Good Krabby Name vs. The Googly Artiste Match 31: Glove World RIP vs. Move It or Lose It You have until Tuesday, January 11th at 5pm EST to vote. We will then move onto Round 3. Feel free to post your reasonings for why you voted which episode.
  17. Winners: Match 16: Karen 2.0 Match 17: For Here or To Go Match 18: Planet of the Jellyfish Match 19: Sentimental Sponge Match 20: Plankton's Good Eye Match 21: Oral Report Match 22: Mooncation Match 23: Free Samples These will move onto Round 3. Second half of Round 2 coming in a few.
  18. 117. Finding Salmon Film: Finding Nemo Kieran is a clownfish who lives in an anemone in the Great Barrier Wife. His husband, Coral, and most of their eggs are killed in a barracuda attack. Only one damaged egg remains, which Kieran names Salmon. Years later, Kieran is overprotective of Salmon. On Salmon's first day of school, Kieran embarrasses Salmon, and the two fight. While Kieran is talking to Salmon's teacher, Salmon defiantly approaches a nearby speedboat, where he is captured by a pair of scuba divers. Kieran pursues the boat in vain and meets Cha, a blue tang who suffers from acute short-term memory loss, who offers her help. The two encounter three sharks (Wumbo, OMJ and Clappy) who’ve sworn to abstain from eating fish. Kieran discovers a diver's mask that fell from the boat; he accidentally hits Cha with it, giving her a nosebleed. The scent sends one of the sharks into a feeding frenzy, but they flee after accidentally setting off a ring of old naval mines, which knock Kieran and Cha unconscious. Salmon is placed in an aquarium in the office of dentist Renegade in Sydney, Australia. He meets the "Tank Gang", including yellow tang Mythix, starfish sbl, cleaner shrimp Appy, blowfish Winter, royal gramma OBAB, and damselfish Cake, led by RDSP, a Moorish idol. Salmon learns he is to be given to Renegade's niece, who has killed her previous fish. RDSP devises a risky escape plan: Salmon, who can fit inside the aquarium's filter tube, will jam the filter with a pebble, forcing Renegade to put the fish into plastic bags while he cleans the tank, giving them the opportunity to roll out the window and into the harbor. Salmon attempts the maneuver, but fails and is almost killed. Kieran and Cha wake up unharmed, but the mask falls into a deep trench. They descend after it and encounter an anglerfish, JCM in a cameo, which chases them. Cha memorizes the address written on the goggles, and they escape. Cha and Kieran receive directions from a school of moonfish, but Kieran disregards them to take what he believes is a safer route. They stumble into a forest of jellyfish, the stings of which knock them unconscious. They awaken in the East Australian Current with a group of sea turtles including Steel and his son, Trophy. Kieran tells them about his quest, and the story is relayed across the ocean to Sydney where a pelican, OWM, tells the Tank Gang. Inspired by his father's bravery, Salmon makes another attempt to jam the filter and succeeds, and soon the aquarium is covered in green algae. Kieran and Cha exit the East Australian Current and are consumed by a blue whale. Cha tries communicating with the whale, which expels them through its blowhole at Sydney Harbour. They meet OWM, who helps the pair escape from a group of seagulls and takes them to the dentist's office. Renegade has installed a new high-tech filter, foiling the Tank Gang's escape. His niece arrives, but Salmon plays dead to save himself. OWM causes a disturbance, terrifying the niece and throwing the office into chaos. Kieran, seeing Salmon's act, believes Salmon is dead. After Renegade throws OWM out (along with Kieran and Cha), RDSP helps Salmon escape through a drain that leads to the ocean. Despondent, Kieran bids farewell to Cha and begins his journey home. Kieran's departure causes Cha to lose her memory. Salmon reaches the ocean and meets Cha, but she does not remember him. However, her memory returns when she reads the word "Sydney" on a drainpipe. Cha reunites Salmon with Kieran, but a fishing trawler captures her in a net along with a school of grouper. With his father's blessing, Salmon enters the net and he and Kieran instruct all of the fish to swim down. Their combined force breaks the boat’s net, allowing them to escape. Kieran and Salmon reconcile. After returning home to the reef, Kieran is more confident while Cha has remained friends with the sharks. Kieran and Cha see Salmon off as he goes to school. At the dentist's, the filter has broken, and the gang, having been put in bags, have escaped into the harbor. Still stuck in the bags, they ponder what to do next.
  19. It really depends for me. I mostly like it in small, rare doses, but excessive amounts can make me grow tired of it fast.
  20. The prequel to hit spin-off Skodwarde is finally here! As we build anticipation for Skod on the Run's grand finale to the universe, we'll be doing this as a fun supplement. In this 6 part miniseries, SpongeBob and friends get into whacky adventures at a shady camp run by none other than Giancarlo Esposito. But there's more than meets the eye to this camp, as Squidward brings an uninvited legend who soon begins to cause problems. Will this ruin your childhood and the good name of Skodwarde forever? Possibly! Did OMJ give his blessings for this? I think he did! First episode coming soon to SBC+!
  21. It's that time of the year again. You know the drill. It's been a decade since the height of Season 8's praise on SBC (lol), and I'm curious to see how it holds up to the community now in the current year. Which episodes will flop and which will reign victorious? Round 2 Part 1: Match 16: Karen 2.0 vs. The Krabby Patty That Ate Bikini Bottom Match 17: For Here or To Go vs. Are You Happy Now? Match 18: A SquarePants Family Vacation vs. Planet of the Jellyfish Match 19: Sentimental Sponge vs. Squidward's School for Grown-Ups Match 20: Plankton's Good Eye vs. A Friendly Game Match 21: Oral Report vs. Home Sweet Rubble Match 22: Treats! vs. Mooncation Match 23: Free Samples vs. Accidents Will Happen You have until Saturday, January 8th at 5pm EST to vote. We will then move onto the rest of Round 2. Feel free to post your reasonings for why you voted which episode.
  22. Winners: Match 1: For Here or To Go Match 2: Planet of the Jellyfish Match 3: Sentimental Sponge Match 4: A Friendly Game Match 5: Oral Report Match 6: Treats! Match 7: Free Samples Match 8: Mr. Krabs Takes a Vacation Match 9: Way of the Sponge Match 10: inSPONGEiac Match 11: Frozen Face-Off Match 12: Ghoul Fools Match 13: It's a SpongeBob Christmas! Match 14: The Good Krabby Name Match 15: Glove World R.I.P. These will move onto Round 2, which the thread for will come momentarily.
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