Jjs Goodman

EPISODE XXXII: JAWAS Today we'll be covering a different group of sand people. Jawas are seen as greedy scavengers and conniving thieves, though offering a good deal once in a while. Like the Tuskens, is there another side to them? Let's see if today fares any better. Probably didn't do much to change your view on them either, oh well. Tomorrow we'll take a look at more of the galaxy's most obscure droids.

Episode 5: Fake News Inc. One day, Skodwarde realizes the perfect, ingenious scheme to destroy Giancarlo: with lots of slander and libel. He decides to whip up several crazy fake news stories to get the camp shut down. He knows the public loses their minds at the first sign of any controversy, no matter how small. You could even say Skodwarde is going to start the origins of cancel culture with this stunt. Look at all of the backstory we’re setting up here! If there’s one thing Skodwarde knows how to do well, it’s ruining other people’s lives and childhoods. He hopes this will prompt multiple investigations that will uncover Giancarlo’s meth lab and get him out of the picture. His first story is: Mein Kampf Koral supports terrorism!? Skodwarde uses his god powers to plant incriminating evidence around the camp linking Giancarlo to terrorist activities. Skodwarde then sends an anonymous tip to the Bikini Bottom News. He then sits back on his comfy chair, opens up Mein Kampf and watches the shitstorm unfold from there. In Giancarlo’s cabin, Jonathan Banks combs through old documents from previous owners talking about Skodwarde sightings. Giancarlo also discovered that their communist shark rivals have been driven out of the area recently, which he suggests Skodwarde may have orchestrated too. Everything is coming together no. Neither of them can believe this. A Nazi squid/octopus with god powers is their enemy? It sounds like a shitpost from a bored guy on a SpongeBob forum, but it’s reality. Banks suspects based on what he’s read, this camp is built on ancient land belonging to this Skodwarde’s ancestors, and their presence has upset him. Giancarlo wishes he had known that before purchasing this for his shady activities. Giancarlo promises Banks they will be able to deal with this problem, as he does not give a shit about offending a Nazi. However, he is nervous deep inside as much as he tries to hide it. He’s always been able to calculate and counter anything known, but never anything supernatural. He would need to ask The Elites for assistance in this matter. But before he can do that, suddenly, several vehicles are heard pulling up outside. The campers are outside playing, and look in confusion as news vehicles arrive a Mein Kampf Koral. Perch Perkins gets out of one of them, hot off the presses, to investigate their tip. The cameras been rolling and Perch starts reporting without even the first bit of fact checking. Perch: Good evening folks, Perch here to investigate the seemingly unsuspecting camp of Mein Kapf Koral! According to an anonymous tip, rumors say this camp secretly funds and supports TERRORISM!? We’re here to find out the truth. And here comes the camp’s manager, Mr. Esposito, to explain to us what’s going on! Giancarlo is put on the spot as Perch puts a microphone in the face, but tries his best to handle the situation. Giancarlo calmly says this must be a prank, as they are just a simple, innocent summer camp. He points to the campers having fun, not really understanding what’s happening. SpongeBob and Patrick naively ask what a terrorist is. Sandy and Squidward don’t have the heart to tell them, so they promise they’ll understand when they’re older. Giancarlo insists to Perch’s team they can have a look around to see the camp is clean. While doing that, he privately tells Banks to get rid of anything potentially incriminating that Skodwarde planted. Banks heads off like a ninja despite his age. Giancarlo gives the eager journalists a tour, and in the end, they discover nothing linking the camp to terrorism. While this occurs, Banks finds weapons and various Islamic imagery which he cleans up. In the end, this stunt ended up only increasing Mein Kampf Koral’s reputation, as several parents decide to enroll their kids after seeing Giancarlo’s great management. Skodwarde is disappointed his scheme backfired again, but he has better ideas in mind. He notes he’ll need to get Giancarlo’s butt buddy Banks away while he plants his incriminating evidence. He’s admittedly impressed by his uncanny ninja talent to clean up dirt, but he knows that old man can’t keep up with this forever. A montage passes of Skodwarde whipping up as many crazy stories as possible to ruin Giancarlo’sr reputation, while Feel Good Inc by Gorillaz plays in the background during this. The band also probably didn’t exist at the time of when this takes place, but oh well, it’s Skodwarde. They also probably didn’t approve the song usage either, so hopefully they don’t sue. Anyway, several attempted stories include: Mein Kampf Koral is hiding the existence of Seasquatch!?, Mein Kampf Koral is supporting animal cruelty!? (connecting back to those dead jellyfish), Mein Kampf Koral is a secret trafficking ring!?, Mein Kampf Koral is run by communists!?, Mein Kampf Koral is run by Nazis!?, Mein Kampf Koral performs MK Ultra experiments!?, Mein Kampf Koral is haunted by ghosts!?, Mein Kampf Koral has a hidden UFO!?, Giancarlo is not the real camp owner!?, Giancarlo is an escaped felon!?, Giancarlo is a bigot!?, Giancarlo commits tax fraud!?, and Mein Kampf Koral is secretly run by a satanic cult!? (ironically the only story with truth to it). Each time, he creates a bizarre distraction to get Banks away. Eventually Banks catches on and stops falling for them, but he’s unable to clean up evidence in time. But no matter what Skodwarde does, Giancarlo finds a clever way out of it, has valid plausible deniability, blames the shark mafia, claims it’s a misconstrued joke, or says it’s a camp activity, getting the campers to play along. No meth lab entrance is found, either. In the end, this only increases the camp’s reputation, infuriating Skodwarde. Sometimes there’s no such thing as bad publicity, eh? While this chaos is going on, the campers each fight each other to get the news team’s attention, all wanting to be famous. Sandy wants no part in these antics though, as she starts to do her own independent investigations to see if Giancarlo really is hiding something due to all of these recent weird happenstances. Squidward wants no part in this nonsense either and knows Skodwarde is behind these, so he tries looking for him again. Perch eventually has had enough of these false leads and blocks Skodwarde’s number, much to his dismay. Perch says on broadcast that he is not listening to anymore slanderous claims about Giancarlo and his camp. He says he’s one of the cleanest men he’s ever met and that Mein Kampf Koral is the best camp in the sea. (how he said that name with a straight face I don’t know either) The journalists all pull out of there, ready to move onto the next big story. Skodwarde is not amused, to say the least. Squidward finds Skodwarde out in the wild and tells him to stop these stupid stunts because this shit is getting real old, mang. All he wants is some peace and quiet here, he doesn’t need his crazed god cousin fucking shit up! Skodwarde tells him that he cannot, for Giancarlo is a threat that he must get rid of. Squidward asks if he can at least wait until the end of summer to do this, but Skodwarde says time is of the essence for he knows a dark conspiracy lurks in this camp which threatens everyone. Squidward goes "whatever" to it and just begs he keeps him out of this nonsense. Skodwarde keeps spying on the camp, trying to find where the secret entrance to the meth lab could possibly be. Giancarlo and Banks are exhausted and pissed from these shenanigans. They wish Skodwarde would show himself like a man instead of pulling these childish antics. Giancarlo then calls The Elites and tells them everything that's happened. There is a pause, and then they say they've known this day was coming. They say Skodwarde's rise was prophesied long ago and their duty was to destroy him before his powers got out into the world. They explain he'll need satanic power to combat Skod’s god powers. Giancarlo asks where he can acquire these, to which The Elites reveal he needs to torture one of his relatives, in this case, Squidward Tortellini-I mean, Tentacles. They say they'll send torture equipment over asap. Giancarlo and Banks still can't believe what they've gotten themselves into and miss when they were just a secret drug empire. Skodwarde has had enough of standing around like an idiot (and there's a standing fee), so he decides it’s time to take the kiddy show gloves off and get his tentacles dirty. Yep, we're finally transitioning into the Skod you all know and love! The powers of the camp fuel his ambition. At night, Skodwarde sneaks out onto the camp, searching around for the meth lab entrance. He then smells something amiss from the cafeteria. Jackpot. He realizes the meth lab must be under there, and the cooking is able to mask the meth scent. He must give credit where it's due for Giancarlo's genius. Skodwarde breaks into the cafeteria, making a mess in there to find the secret entrance. Suddenly, Lyle walks out of the kitchen, who was just about to head home and closing down for the night. Lyle freezes upon seeing Skodwarde, asking if he can help him with anything. No response. Skodwarde approaches him menacingly. Lyle tells Skodwarde to take it easy and that they can work this out. He holds out dollars, thinking this is a robbery, but Skodwarde swats them out of his hand. He backs Lyle into the kitchen. Skodwarde then gets an idea, realizing the one news story he hasn’t attempted that is sure to ruin any company: a gruesome murder. And he’s got the perfect pawn before him. He then looks over to the fryers, and begins to rev them up (references!!!). Lyle nervously asks what he’s doing, but Skodwade ignores him. Skodwarde then puts latex gloves over his tentacles and puts his phone off to the side, making sure it's at the right angle. Skodwarde then grabs Lyle and dunks his head into the boiling oil, as he screams in pain. The phone is recording Lyle’s gruesome death and dying screams the whole time. After the deed is done, Skodwarde uses his god powers to digitally alter the recording so it shows Giancarlo’s hands boiling Lyle. He then sends the video to the police, and smiles deviously. Checkmate. One episode remains!

Congrats to the winner: It's a SpongeBob Christmas! Thanks to all who participated in this.

Here’s the most divisive SBCinema episode ever. 119. SBC Wars Episode VIII: The Last SJW Film: The Last Jedi Shortly after the battle of Starkiller Discord, General Cha is leading the Community forces in evacuating their base when the First Order fleet arrives. Against Cha's orders, Slug leads a costly counterattack that destroys a First Order dreadnought. The remaining Community escapes into hyperspace, but the First Order uses a device to track them, and attacks again. Kylo Renegade hesitates to fire on the lead Community ship after sensing his mother Cha's presence on board, but his wingmen destroy the bridge, killing most of the Community's leaders. Cha is dragged into space but survives by using the Force. While Cha recovers, Vice Admiral Kylie assumes command of the Community. Running low on fuel, the remaining fleet is pursued by the First Order. On Spotify-To, Katniss attempts to recruit Fred Skywalker to the Community. Under self-imposed exile, Fred refuses to help and says that the Jedi should end. After encouragement from Robot Jones, he agrees to give Katniss three lessons in the ways of the Force. Katniss and Ren begin communicating through the Force, which puzzles them both. Ren tells Katniss that Fred feared his power; in a revelation that will infuriate many fans, Fred confesses that he momentarily contemplated killing Ren upon sensing that Joker was corrupting him, which prompted Ren to destroy Fred's new Jedi Order. Convinced that Ren can be redeemed, Katniss leaves Spotify-To. Fred prepares to burn the Jedi library but hesitates. The spirit of Fred's master YOWMda appears and destroys the library by summoning a bolt of lightning. He encourages Fred to learn from his failure. Meanwhile, Slug entrusts FinnDinner, mechanic Disneygirl, and Chuu with a secret mission to disable the First Order's tracking device. SG directs them to the shady casino town of Crypto Bight, where they meet the hacker Drifter. (Note: JCM makes a cameo as a Crypto Bight patron) Pursued by the local security, they escape Crypto Bight with the help of stablehand children and NFT monkeys they set free. FinnDinner, Disneygirl, and Drifter infiltrate Joker's flagship but are captured by Captain Mothra. Ren brings Katniss to Joker, who reveals that he connected their minds to discover Fred's whereabouts. Kylie plans to evacuate the remaining members of the Community using small transport vessels. Believing her plan cowardly and futile, Slug leads a mutiny. A recovered Cha stuns Slug with a blaster and proceeds with the evacuation. Kylie remains aboard the ship as a decoy to mislead Joker's fleet as the others flee to an abandoned base on Forumotion. Drifter buys his freedom by revealing the Community's plan to General Hayden, and the First Order fleet begins firing on the evacuation transports, destroying many. Ordered to kill Katniss, Ren instead kills Joker and defeats his Gamer Guard with her help. Katniss hopes that Ren has abandoned the dark side, but he instead asks her to rule the galaxy with him. Refusing, she battles him for control of Fred's lightsaber, bisecting the weapon. Kylie sacrifices herself by slicing through Joker's flagship at lightspeed, crippling the First Order fleet. Katniss escapes the destruction while Ren declares himself Supreme Leader. Chuu frees FinnDinner and Disneygirl; they defeat Mothra and join the survivors on Forumotion. When the First Order arrives, Slug, FinnDinner, and Disneygirl attack with obsolete speeders. Katniss and G4ry draw TIE fighters away in the Millennium Hellcat, while Disneygirl stops FinnDinner from sacrificing himself. The First Order penetrates the Community fortress using a siege cannon. Fred appears and confronts the First Order, allowing the surviving Community to escape. Ren orders the First Order's forces to fire on Fred, but they fail to harm him. He then engages Fred in a lightsaber duel; upon striking Fred, Ren realizes that Fred is not physically present, but projecting his image through the Force. Katniss helps the remaining Community escape on the Hellcat. Exhausted, Fred dies peacefully on Spotify-To, becoming one with the Force. Katniss and Cha sense his death, prompting Cha to tell Katniss that the Community can rise again. At Canto Bight, the stablehands recount the story of Fred Skywalker; afterward, one of them moves a broom with the Force and gazes into space. This film would then spawn a very divided and vitriolic reaction online, so we'll course correct the next movie.

It's that time of the year again. You know the drill. It's been a decade since the height of Season 8's praise on SBC (lol), and I'm curious to see how it holds up to the community now in the current year. Which episodes will flop and which will reign victorious? Round 6 (FINAL ROUND): Match 46: Planet of the Jellyfish vs. It's a SpongeBob Christmas! You have until Friday, January 21st at 5pm EST to vote for the champion. Feel free to post your reasonings for why you voted which episode.

Results: Match 44: Planet of the Jellyfish Match 45: It's a SpongeBob Christmas! These two episodes will move onto the final round!

Episode 4: Breaking Sponge One day, the cafeteria is seen being overcrowded by angry, hungry campers. They’re acting like the ravenous Krusty Krab customers eventually would, that foreshadowing! Plankton’s special c(h)um is on the menu for today, and it turns out that isn’t quite appealing to the campers, who would’ve thought? Krabs hears all the complaints and bursts in faster than a barefoot jack rabbit, sensing yet another lawsuit in the pit of his wallet (yep, we’re gonna milk this gag). He asks what the kids are bitching about, to which they say they hate Plankton’s food and want Mr. Lyle cooking instead. Plankton refuses to budge, but Krabs steps on him. Krabs says that Lyle took today off, which he wouldn’t allow if he was in charge, so he offers to cook some old fashioned navy food. Unfortunately, the kids don’t want that either, which makes Krabs aggravated. He then says if these snowflakes can do better, then one of them should cook. SpongeBob decides to take the challenge, offering to cook. He’s always dreamed about being a fry cook and decides to use this as a first step into the career. Krabs shrugs and decides to give it a shot. He says Plankton will be working with SpongeBob or he’s fired. Who knows, maybe even Plankton will learn how to actually cook something that isn’t fucking disgusting from the kid (spoiler: he won’t). Plankton hides his annoyance and pretends to be excited, as the two get into the kitchen. Meanwhile, Giancarlo realizes one of the campers, Squidward Tennisballs-whoops, Tentacles, has an uncanny resemblance to the mysterious health inspector. He wonders if they are somehow related. Jonathan Banks says there’s plenty of octopi in the sea and it could be a coincidence. Still, Giancarlo suggests Banks delicately question him to see what he knows. Banks says he will do so, while Giancarlo begins researching through the history of Mein Kampf Koral to see if there’s anything he missed. He suspects something fishy is going on around here (drum snare), especially after Banks claims the intruder teleported away like some supernatural creature. Giancarlo knows there’s more to this mysterious health inspector than meets the eye. As Giancarlo shifts through old documents, he finds an old report of some people who tried to claim this land long ago, but got scared away by an alleged “magic Nazi squid.” Nobody took them seriously so the claim was dismissed. Giancarlo believes he’s found his smoking gun and continues to investigate. Back at the kitchen, SpongeBob is ready to cook. Plankton tries to mentor SpongeBob, but that goes about as well as you expect. First, Plankton commands SpongeBob to boil water, but ends up making it on fire. Plankton then suggests something easier, asking him to cut bread. SpongeBob tries to cut the bread, but the knife accidentally goes flying at Plankton, who barely avoids it. To which Plankton replies “too bad that didn’t kill me” (look look we’re referencing an episode you’d rather be watching!). SpongeBob then tries whisking, but gets whisked himself. He then tries to mold some dough, but Plankton gets hurt instead. Plankton has had it, telling SpongeBob to get the fuck out. SpongeBob begs him to give him another chance, for he wants to be the sea’s best fry cook, even pulling the sappy puppy eyes. Plankton, against his better judgment, says he’ll give him one last chance, but he has to actually make something to get his seal of approval. So, SpongeBob gets to work and within a few minutes, whips something up. Plankton asks what it is, and SpongeBob says it’s a special soufflé. Plankton tries it, and it’s…surprisingly good? Perhaps this kid really did have potential after all, but he tells him not to get too cocky. SpongeBob considers it a success and lets out a victory screech (moar references!!!). Plankton tells him to make another. Skodwarde is eavesdropping outside of the cafeteria, and hatches another genius idea that will get Giancarlo in hot water. Skodwarde uses his god powers to make a bunch of meth ingredients fall into SpongeBob’s current soufflé. When it comes out of the oven, it's crystal blue colored, which has Plankton curious and SpongeBob confused. Plankton tries it and reaches ecstasy. Plankton says to SpongeBob he's got a magic touch and that the two of them will make a great team, so here's a low budget visual to accompany that: SpongeBob wants to say he's not sure if it's supposed to look like that, but is happy his chef career is taking off so he decides not to say anything. Skodwarde uses his god powers to replace all of the normal soufflé ingredients with meth, which SpongeBob puts in for his next batch. Plankton passes out the crystal blue soufflé to the campers, who dig in at once, and reach ecstasy as well. Skodwarde gets a good laugh out of this and then begins to call somebody. Banks sees Squidward sitting on his chair, still reading Essential Elements for Band: Bb Bass Clarinet and approaches him. Squidward looks up, annoyed and asks what he wants. Banks says he’d like to ask him a few questions, assuming he’s not wasting his precious time. Squidward says he’ll try. Banks asks him if he has any relatives, to which Squidward says of course. He then asks if any of them are health inspectors, which Squidward denies. He then asks if any have been to this camp before. Squidward then starts to grow suspicious on why Banks is asking him this, but Squidward tells him no. Banks thanks him for his time and walks away. Squidward starts to wonder if Skodwarde's been dicking around with the camp again and needs to find him immediately. As the campers eat their soufflé, Sandy, being the only one there with a brain, realizes the color of it is similar to what Nobby and Narlene had. She tells the campers to stop eating that because it's bad for you, but they look at her like she's a stupid squirrel and ignore her warnings. Typical. Sandy peeks into the kitchen to see SpongeBob and Plankton making the crystal blue soufflé, assuming Plankton is tricking SpongeBob into making meth. Suddenly, a police car pulls up to the camp, and the God of Supremacy Orange Cop (!) gets out of it. Banks sees this and alerts Giancarlo, who both try to hide their worried looks. Giancarlo asks the officer what he can do for him. God of Supremacy Orange Cop says he received a notice that meth was spotted on this camp. Giancarlo assumes he's referring to the narwhals and tells them those were two intruders who were "dealt with." However, GOSOC says he was alerted of this today and needs to investigate pronto. Banks asks if he has a warrant, and the GOSOC pulls one out of his ass. The two can't argue with that, but aren't quite sure what to do now. Sandy then runs out of the cafeteria and tells the adults that Plankton snuck blue meth into their food. The GOSOC thanks the squirrel for her tip and barges into the kitchen, with SpongeBob and Plankton both putting their hands up. GOSOC gets the tiny handcuffs, arresting Plankton. Plankton is outraged, wanting to know the meaning of this. GOSOC explains he's been serving blue meth to children, confusing him. He points to the spiked soufflé, to which Plankton tries blaming SpongeBob, but SpongeBob says he was just using Plankton's ingredients. Plankton tries to protest this, ranting how he's been setup, wants a lawyer, and that he hates the police. GOSOC has heard enough and takes Plankton away. Krabs gives a hearty laugh, saying he always expected Sheldon to end up like this. Plankton vows he will destroy him! Giancarlo apologizes to GOSOC for this employee's actions and promise he does not reflect all of Mein Kampf Koral (the more he says that out loud the more you wonder why nobody suspects anything). GOSOC thanks Sandy for snitching, though Sandy looks at Giancarlo suspiciously, fearing she may have gotten the wrong guy. Plankton says he doesn’t need them and vows that when he gets out of prison, which probably won't take long, he'll open his own successful restaurant because he went to college. He says he won't miss this place but promises he’ll try to remember them all in therapy, as he's thrown into GOSOC's car. Plankton gives them the double bird and shouts "so long, assholes!" as it drives off into the distance. Sandy notes how curiously, nobody got sick from the blue meth this time. SpongeBob suspects maybe his magic touch prevented them from getting sick, and feels even more confident than before now about his cooking abilities. Giancarlo and Banks know Plankton was set up by their "friend", but they wanted to get rid of him for a while, and nobody liked his cooking, anyways, so they can't complain about this turnout. Still, they were cutting it pretty close there and know they need to act fast. Giancarlo tells Bank he's discovered who has been causing them trouble: an ancient god known as "Skodwarde". Squidward looks around for Skodwarde, demanding an explanation, but is unable to find him. Skodwarde, looking from afar, is annoyed his scheme has backfired, although is happy it's lit something a fire under Giancarlo's ass. He wanted to do this easily and quietly, but he now realizes he'll have to do something extreme to hurt Giancarlo's image. He has a devious look on his face, and no, it's not gay thoughts this time.

Happy birthday Fred!

It's that time of the year again. You know the drill. It's been a decade since the height of Season 8's praise on SBC (lol), and I'm curious to see how it holds up to the community now in the current year. Which episodes will flop and which will reign victorious? Round 5: Match 44: Planet of the Jellyfish vs. Mooncation Match 45: Frozen Face-Off vs. It’s a SpongeBob Christmas! You have until Wednesday, January 19th at 5pm EST to vote. We will then move onto Round 6, the finale. Feel free to post your reasonings for why you voted which episode.

Winners: Match 40: Planet of the Jellyfish Match 41: Mooncation Match 42: Frozen Face-Off Match 43: It's a SpongeBob Christmas! These will move onto Round 5, the semifinals.

4/10 In "Sleepy Time", Patrick was originally going to dream himself up a new quarter, but it was funnier for him to lose it.

Episode 3: In Search of Camp Kidney One day, the campers are all bored, waiting for something interesting to happen. That’s right, this spin-off is so creatively bankrupt and soulless our characters are that bored, only three episodes in! Squidward is relaxing on a chair, reading Essential Elements for Band: Bb Bass Clarinet. Skodwarde kept demanding that Squidward read a strange book called Mein Kampf, but Squidward had no interest in that, for he only reads true literary talent. Sandy wonders what happened to Narlene and Nobby, to which Krabs assures her that Mr. Esposito sent them on their way and they won’t be a problem anymore. Giancarlo is standing outside of his cabin, looking around his surroundings sharply and carefully. He cannot afford another security breach in his operation. Giancarlo then receives a phone call and answers it. On the other end, a voice tells him “The Elites have heard about his recent problems” (confirming Giancarlo is a part of the group) and ask if he needs any further assistance in squashing them. Giancarlo assures he has everything under control and that the narwhals are taken care of, but will call back if any other issues crop up. The Elites are pleased by this, and end their call by saying “Hail Satan.” Skodwarde observes the bored camp with his binoculars. He needs to scout the place to figure out where Giancarlo is hiding his meth, and if he’s a part of a larger conspiracy, but can’t do that with these obnoxious kids everywhere. Skodwarde prefers to lay low and not reveal himself to the world. He then hatches a genius idea to distract them. Skodwarde knows of a secret camp nearby named Camp Kidney. Yes, the very same Camp Kidney from Cartoon Network show Camp Lazlo. It’s not a Skodwarde production without at least one shameless crossover, ar ar ar! We also know you’d probably rather be watching that than reading this, so we’re going to taunt you. He decides he’ll turn it into a legend to get the kids on a wild goose chase. How ironic, the legend making his own legend. Skodwarde looks at Patrick, who he views as the perfect pawn to spread the rumor. Patrick is throwing rocks a tree stump for some reason, when Skodwarde uses his god powers to make a note appear in his hand. Patrick tries to read the note, but can't make it out. This frustrated Skodwarde, who then dumbs it down to a language Patrick can decipher. Patrick gasps upon reading it, realizing there's a "secret, mysterious Camp Kidney nearby with treasure in it." Patrick tells his finding to the other campers, who aren't sure if they believe him or not. But Krabs says he's heard the legend too, shocking them all. He's tried to hunt for this supposed Camp Kidney for a while, but had no luck in doing so. This piques the interest of the other campers now, finally giving them something to do. So, SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, Squidward and Mr. Krabs decide to go on a hunt to see if this mysterious camp really exists, or if this is bullshit. A few other groups of campers also decide to go on a hunt, but nobody gives a shit about them. Now with the main cast out of the way and only a few irrelevant background campers remain, Skodwarde sees this as a perfect opportunity to take a little tour of the camp. He uses his god powers to disguise himself as a health inspector. As he walks on the holy grounds, Skodwarde feels his god powers getting quite a spike in power. He knew this place was special and belonged to him. He wouldn’t let these little shits and a drug lord take his land. Health Inspector Skod whistle and walks around, then comes across Giancarlo sweeping outside a cabin. Giancarlo politely asks what he can do for him, to which Skod says he's a health inspector and wants to examine the area, flashing his fake badge. Giancarlo is curious, saying he didn't know about a scheduled health inspector visit, but Skod says the letter must have been lost. Giancarlo is suspicious but decides to let him take a look around for now, as Skod does so. Giancarlo then contacts Jonathan Banks, asking him to follow that health inspector around and see what he's up to. Meanwhile, after some nautical nonsense involving whacky hijinks and slapstick, SpongeBob and friends finally discover Camp Kidney, as the Camp Lazlo theme plays in the background! (hopefully they won’t sue) Krabs nearly lets out a couple of tears, surprised to see it's actually real. They observe the Camp Lazlo animal cast in fascination, as if they’ve discovered one of the wonders of the world. But there’s also a talking squirrel in the group, so this shouldn’t be the strangest thing they’ve ever seen. The group approaches the camp, surprising the scouts. Scoutmaster Lumpus is annoyed at the trespassers on his camp and demands they leave. Krabs negotiates, saying they're from a nearby camp who wanted to check the place out, suggesting they could partner up. Lazlo trusts they're good people and convinces Lumpus to let them explore the camp. The groups hit it off at first, having a good old time and everything seems fine. But the more they explore the camp, the more sense something very sus about it. Something feels...off. Why exactly are Camp Lazlo characters underwater? SpongeBob and Patrick throw a frisbee with Lazlo and Raj, when it accidentally smashes into Lumpus's office. SpongeBob and Patrick decide to go get it, which worries Lazlo and Raj. SpongeBob and Patrick enter the cabin, and discover incriminating evidence that Lumpus is not who he claims to be! Sandy discovers some of her own evidence too that this camp is not what it seems. After being caught and confronted, Lumpus unzips his costume to reveal himself as... a shark!? Every other Camp Lazlo character unzips their costumes revealing themselves to be sharks as well. It is revealed that this camp is actually a money laundering front for The Sharks, a communist mafia gang that act as rivals to both Giancarlo and Skodwarde. Yes, the very same Sharks that OMJ teased in a few S9 episodes but didn't go quite the way he envisioned because Trophy had a different vision in mind for his episode, but I'm working my retcon magic to fuse both of their concepts together! Hey, we've had enough retcons so far, why not? (also is anyone honestly even keeping tabs on Skod lore by this point lol) The Sharks say they know too much and gotta get whacked, see. One of them grabs Squidward, ready to shoot him because we gotta get in obligatory Squid abuse somehow. Krabs won't let his kids be hurt and activates his inner Armor Ass Krabs, beating the living shit out of the sharks. Sandy unleashes some of her early karate moves cause we gotta get in feminist power. SpongeBob and Patrick activate their chaos nature, destroying the entire camp. Most of the sharks have been brutally beat up. The Sharks retreat, embarrassed they got beaten by children and a crab. They get the hell outta there and promise they'll be back someday (as seen in Skodwarde episode 198a!). The kids thank Krabs for his help and he tells them to never underestimate the power of a marine. Squidward says this was an awful experience and wants to finish reading his book. They head back, and yes, Squidward's feet do hurt him along the way. Sandy then begins wondering if that camp wasn't so clean, could their own camp have secrets too? Meanwhile, back Mein Kampf Koral, Skodwarde inspects as many cabins as he can for anything suspicious, but finds nothing. He breaks into Giancarlo's cabin, but finds nothing suspicious. Banks sees him in there and knows he's up to not good. Skodwarde then sets his sights on the cafeteria, heading inside. The head chef in there is a guy named Lyle, who is flipping away at the grill. Skodwarde tells Lyle to get outta there, saying he needs to examine this whole area for cleanliness. Lyle decides not to ask any questions and abides, leaving. Skodwarde looks around the kitchen, wondering if there's any secret entrances to the meth lab. But suddenly, Banks confronts him, pointing his gun. He tells him he knows he's not a real health inspector, and asks what he hell he's doing here. Skodwarde then uses his god powers to teleport away, as Banks misses his shots. Banks reports to Giancarlo about what happened, who looks concerned. Who was this fake health inspector? He worried the stupidity of the narwhals may have attracted an undercover DEA agent, or is this is an entirely unknown third party. He knows they have an actual threat on their hands now. Skodwarde then looks over the remains of The Sharks' former camp, pleased his plan to rid them worked out. He knew all along they were there and while he had hoped to wipe them all out entirely, they've still been driven away which is good enough. Now he plans to take down the other shady camp, pondering his next scheme to destroy Giancarlo.

Discuss these two strange gentlemen who tried to sell SpongeBob something. I'm curious to learn more about their backstories.

Happy birthday Winter!

118. SBC Wars Episode VII: The Force Goes Woke Film: The Force Awakens Thirty years after the Internet Civil War, the First Order (aka discount Empire) has risen from the fallen SBC Empire and seeks to end the New Universe Republic. The Community (aka discount Rebels) backed by the Republic and led by General Cha, opposes the First Order. Cha searches for her brother, Fred Skywalker, who has gone missing. On the desert planet Instakku, aka discount Xatooine, Community pilot Slug Dameron receives a map to Fred's place from Sebby. Stormtroopers commanded by Kylo Renegade raid the village and capture Slug, while Ren kills Sebby. Slug's droid, Chuu, escapes with the map and encounters a scavenger named Katniss (Hunger Games in space?). Ren tortures Slug using the Force and learns of Chuu. Stormtrooper FN-4052, disillusioned by the First Order, frees Slug, and they escape in a stolen TIE fighter. Upon learning that FN-4052 has no other name, Slug gives him the name "FinnDinner". As they head to Instakku to retrieve Chuu, a First Order Star Destroyer shoots them, and they crash-land. FinnDinner survives and finds only Slug's jacket in the wreck, leading to the assumption of his death. FinnDinner encounters Katniss and Chuu, but the First Order tracks them and launches an airstrike. Katniss, FinnDinner, and Chuu steal the Millennium Hellcat and escape the planet. The Hellcat is discovered and boarded by Hawk Solo and G4ry. Gangs seeking to settle debts with Hawk attack, but the group escape in the Hellcat. At the First Order's Starkiller Discord, a planet converted into a superweapon, aka discount Death Discord. Supreme Leader Joker allows General Hayden to use the weapon for the first time on the New Universe Republic. Joker questions Ren's ability to deal with emotions surrounding his father, Hawk Solo, who Ren states means nothing to him. Aboard the Hellcat, Hawk determines that Chuu's map is incomplete. He then explains that Fred attempted to rebuild the Jedi Order, but exiled himself when an apprentice turned to the dark side, destroyed the temple, and slaughtered the other apprentices. The crew travels to the planet Metadana and meets with cantina owner SG, who offers help getting Chuu to the Community. (Note: JCM makes a cameo as one of the cantina patrons) The Force draws Katniss to a secluded vault, where she finds the lightsaber once belonging to Fred and his father, Kevin Skywalker. She experiences disturbing visions and denies the lightsaber at SG's offering. She then flees into the woods, confused and terrified. SG gives FinnDinner the lightsaber for safekeeping. Starkiller Discord, much like the original Death Discord, destroys the New Universe Republic and its fleet leaving just the Community left. The First Order attacks Metadana in search of Chuu. Hawk, G4ry, and FinnDinner are saved by Community X-wing fighters led by Slug, who survived the crash. Cha arrives at Metadana with MEE6 and reunites with Hawk. Meanwhile, Ren captures Katniss and takes her to Starkiller Discord, but she resists his mind-reading attempts. Joker orders Ren to bring Katniss to him. Discovering she can use the Force, Katniss escapes using a Jedi mind trick on a guard. At the Community base on Invision, Chuu finds Robot Jones, who had been inactive since Fred's disappearance. As Starkiller Discord prepares to fire once more, the Community devises a plan to destroy it by attacking its thermal oscillator. Using the Hellcat, Hawk, G4ry, and FinnDinner infiltrate the facility, find Katniss, and plant explosives. Hawk confronts Ren, calling him by his birth name, and implores him to abandon the dark side. Ren seems to consider this, but ultimately kills his father instead. Devastated, G4ry shoots Ren and sets off the explosives, allowing Slug to attack and destroy the base's thermal oscillator. The injured Ren pursues FinnDinner and Katniss into the woods. FinnDinner fights Ren with the lightsaber to protect Katniss before Ren knocks him unconscious. Katniss takes the lightsaber and channels the Force to defeat Ren in a duel; they are then separated by a fissure as the planet's surface begins to splinter. Joker orders Hayden to evacuate and bring Ren to him to complete his training. G4ry rescues Katniss and the unconscious FinnDinner, and they escape aboard the Hellcat. As the Community forces flee, Starkiller Discord implodes. Robot Jones awakens and reveals the rest of the map, which leads Katniss to the oceanic planet Spotify-To in the Hellcat. On Spotify-To Katniss finds Fred atop a cliff on a remote island. Without a word, she presents him with his father's lightsaber.

It's that time of the year again. You know the drill. It's been a decade since the height of Season 8's praise on SBC (lol), and I'm curious to see how it holds up to the community now in the current year. Which episodes will flop and which will reign victorious? Round 4: Match 40: Karen 2.0 vs. Planet of the Jellyfish Match 41: Plankton’s Good Eye vs. Mooncation Match 42: Way of the Sponge vs. Frozen Face-Off Match 43: It’s a SpongeBob Christmas! vs. The Good Krabby Name You have until Monday, January 17th at 5pm EST to vote. We will then move onto Round 5, the semifinals. Feel free to post your reasonings for why you voted which episode.

Winners: Match 32: Karen 2.0 Match 33: Planet of the Jellyfish Match 34: Plankton’s Good Eye Match 35: Mooncation Match 36: Way of the Sponge Match 37: Frozen Face-Off Match 38: It’s a SpongeBob Christmas! Match 39: The Good Krabby Name These will all move onto Round 4.

It's that time of the year again. You know the drill. It's been a decade since the height of Season 8's praise on SBC (lol), and I'm curious to see how it holds up to the community now in the current year. Which episodes will flop and which will reign victorious? Round 3: Match 32: Karen 2.0 vs. For Here or To Go Match 33: Planet of the Jellyfish vs. Sentimental Sponge Match 34: Oral Report vs. Plankton's Good Eye Match 35: Mooncation vs. Free Samples Match 36: Mr. Krabs Takes a Vacation vs. Way of the Sponge Match 37: Frozen Face-Off vs. The Other Patty Match 38: It's a SpongeBob Christmas! vs. Mermaid Man Begins Match 39: The Good Krabby Name vs. Glove World RIP You have until Friday, January 14th at 5pm EST to vote. We will then move onto Round 4. Feel free to post your reasonings for why you voted which episode.

The prequel to hit spin-off Skodwarde is finally here! As we build anticipation for Skod on the Run's grand finale to the universe, we'll be doing this as a fun supplement. In this 6 part miniseries, SpongeBob and friends get into whacky adventures at a shady camp run by none other than Giancarlo Esposito. But there's more than meets the eye to this camp, as Squidward brings an uninvited legend who soon begins to cause problems. Will this ruin your childhood and the good name of Skodwarde forever? Possibly! Did OMJ give his blessings for this? I think he did! First episode coming soon to SBC+!

aka Mando Season 2.5

It has come to our attention that tv.com, the site that birthed SBC, was recently shut down for good over the summer. They finally took Old Yeller out. Press F to pay respects. This means JCM's archive is also one of the only traces left of the site's existence. While this was a long time coming and not a surprise at all, it is a lil sad given it was my first online community. Kind of crazy SBC has outlived it now. Feel free to give a toast or post any nostalgic memories here. One important lesson I’ve learned: I’ll never drink a Dr. Pepper from Home Depot ever again, that’s for sure.

During THQ Nordic's 10th anniversary presentation today, they unveiled a brand new SpongeBob platforming game, titled The Cosmic Shake. If you do not count Rehydrated due to it being a remaster, then this will be the first original new SpongeBob game since 2015. Trailer: Story: SpongeBob and Patrick meet the mysterious fortune teller Kassandra who gives them a vial full of Mermaid’s Tears. Legend claims they grant the wishes of those who are pure of heart… Naturally, the two best buddies get overexcited and their flurry of wishes tears open the very fabric of space and time. All while releasing Cosmic Jelly onto Bikini Bottom and opening portals to strange Wishworlds in the process. Now it’s up to our heroes to rescue their friends who got lost in the Wishworlds and bring back Bikini Bottom’s most iconic buildings. But Kassandra has her own devious plan… Features: Unlock classic and new platforming skills like the Fishhook Swing and Karate Kick Don more than 30 F.U.N.tastic costumes like SnailBob and SpongeGar Travel to 7 distinct Wishworlds like Wild West Jellyfish Fields and Halloween Rock Bottom Experience all the buddy movie banter with SpongeBob’s permanent companion Balloon-Patrick Meet all your favorite Bikini Bottomites from the series, voiced by their original actors Enjoy the in-game soundtrack featuring 101 songs from the series, including Sweet Victory It will be developed by Purple Lamp Studios, the same studio behind Rehydrated. The game will be available for Xbox One, PS4, Switch and PC. No release date currently.