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  1. was gonna create a Big Dumb Thread but y'all have been through enough recently so I'll just post my message here: I'm moving on from SBC. Not to do with anyone in particular, but mostly to do with the fact that I've frankly felt uncomfortable over the past few months still being here and being in a completely different stage of my life than I was when things first started. I suppose these recent events have just kind of exacerbated that this isn't where I should be anymore. I don't have any more time to spend on Internet drama and frankly I'm embarrassed by myself for how much I still catch myself up in. Wishing you all the best moving forward, and I'll still be on Discord if you ever want to talk individually. Peace.
    15 points
  2. Fin! 140. SBCinema Film: The Truman Show Jjs is the unsuspecting star of SBCinema, a parody program filmed 24/7 through thousands of hidden cameras and broadcast to a worldwide audience. Clappy, the program's creator and executive producer, seeks to capture Jjs's authentic emotions and give audiences a relatable every The Kid. Jjs has been the star of SBCinema since he was born and Clappy officially adopted him from his Chather. As Jjs was selected from birth, Clappy claims that Jjs came to be adopted not just by the show, but by the whole "world". Jjs's hometown Community is a complete set built within an enormous dome, populated by forum members, who are actually actors, who highlight the product placements that generate revenue for The Truman Show parody. Speaking of which, today’s episode is sponsored by NordVPN. Staying safe online is an ever growing difficulty and you could be exploited by hackers. NordVPN allows you to change your IP address, making you harder to track, securing your privacy. Check out the link at the end of this finale to get 20% off for the first two months and thank you to NordVPN for sponsoring this episode. The elaborate set allows Clappy to control almost every aspect of Jjs's life, including the sponsors. To prevent Jjs from discovering his false reality, Clappy manufactures scenarios that dissuade Jjs's desire for exploration, such as what shows he chooses to binge watch, by constantly broadcasting his opinions and the opinions of his idols like Irate Gamer, Cr1TiKaL, and everyone’s favorite, Douglas Funny Walker. However, Clappy cannot predict all of Jjs's actions. During his college years, Jjs was intended to be shipped with WhoBob, but fell for an extra named Kat. Although Kat was quickly removed from The Truman Show parody before she could disclose its nature to Jjs, he continues to remember Kat, and secretly dreams of a life outside the internet walls. In the real world, Kat is a part of "Free Jjs", an activist group that seeks to cancel the parodies and have Jjs released. As SBCinema approaches its 10th anniversary, Jjs begins discovering unusual elements, such as the emote reactions falling out of the sky in front of his house and a Discord channel that precisely describes his movements. These events are punctuated by the reappearance of his Chather, who had infiltrated The Truman Show parody, with the crew believing the Chactor was somehow recast. Jjs begins questioning his life and realizes that the Cinema somehow revolves around him. WhoBob's stress from attempting to uphold the charade in the face of Jjs's growing skepticism and hostility causes their shipping to deteriorate. One day, Jjs takes WhoBob by surprise by going on an impromptu Jeopardy game, but increasingly implausible emergencies block their way. During an argument ignited by WhoBob attempting to promote another show for Jjs to watch, Jjs determines that WhoBob is a part of the conspiracy and holds WhoBob at chat point. WhoBob breaks character and is taken off the film parody. Hoping to bring Jjs back to a controllable state, Clappy re-introduces Jjs's Chather to The Truman Show parody properly, under the guise of having lost her memory after an accident. This helps the parody regain the views lead with audiences, and Jjs seems to return to his routines, except he begins sleeping in his basement. One night, Jjs secretly disappears through a makeshift tunnel in his basement, forcing Clappy to temporarily suspend the parody for the first time in its history. Audiences around the world are captivated by this unexpected event, and record numbers login to view the finale. This finale was made possible by audible. Audible is the leading provider of audio books. They have over 180,000 of audio books to choose from. Visit www.audible.com for one free audio book! This is the best place for audio books and I cannot recommend it enough. Clappy orders a community wide search for Jjs and is soon forced to "GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 260" and break the production's day-night cycle to optimize the search. Clappy discovers Jjs running away from SBC. He resumes the transmission and, unable to fetch Jjs, creates a violent storm in an attempt to capsize Jjs. After nearly losing Jjs but failing to break his spirit, Clappy ends the storm. Jjs continues to run until he hits the wall of the dome between fact and fiction. Initially horrified, Jjs discovers a nearby staircase leading to an exit door. As Jjs contemplates leaving his world, Clappy speaks directly to Jjs through a speaker system and tries to persuade him to stay, claiming that there is no more truth in the real world than in his artificial one, where he would have nothing to fear. After a moment of reflection, Jjs says his catchphrase: "welp, back to the old grind clocks out", bows to his audience and logs off. The forum members celebrate his escape, and Kat races to greet him. Clappy's supervisor JCM, in a cameo, finally ends SBCinema on a shot of the open exit door, leaving Clappy to mourn over the truth of his defeat. Jjs's fans—the viewers of SBCinema—cheer upon his successful escape and then, after transmission ceases, ask what happens next. Epilogue - SBCinema Cast Members: Where Are They Now!? -We of course start off with Jjs, now ending the SBCinema once and controlling his fate for the first time in his life. He has decided to attend law school and dreams of becoming the next Saul Goodman. -OWM has taken this opportunity to become a future jedi in training. Rumor has it that he has now adopted the last name, Skywalker. -Everyone’s favorite Chather continues to be the most beloved member of this community and hopes that everyone knows how much they love her. She also becomes a wildly successful artist. -Fred has become a one million plus subscribed YouTuber with his own series where he talks about retail music playlists…which in this writer’s opinion is a very fascinating topic because he also can’t stand what retailers choose to overplay constantly. -SBL gets picked up by a major news network and continues to produce the finest newscasting this world has ever seen. An unnamed high level network executive renames his channel to SBLNN and it becomes the number one rated news network. -OMJ, now rich from his Deathmatch royalties, purchases ROH from Tony Khan and actually gives its own weekly episodic television series. He names Luigi Primo, the Pizza Guy, the first Ring of Honor World Heavyweight Championship. -Trophy sells his cannon…thus beating this ten year dead joke into the ground once and for all. He uses his cannon money to buyout Kirk Cousins contract, thus fixing the core of the Minnesota Vikings problems and why they will not win a Super Bowl with him at quarterback. -Katie moves to New Zealand. Need I say more? -tvguy, a famous politician, continues to ask Nuggets to get on Skype. But Nuggets is too busy topping the Billboard Hot 100 with Dinghy Freestyle. -WhoBob, also now free from the SBCinema, decides to purchase a podcast set from Amazon and launches his own podcast with WhoBro, where they talk about movies and television shows. The title is appropriately named The WhoCast Show. -And just like the above, Kylie and Kevin also top the podcast charts with their music takes. Taylor Swift regularly guest stars. -Rusty is the new owner of all Tennessee sports franchises. Although Rusty still can’t fix what is wrong with the University of Tennessee college football program. -SB&P finally figures out what the eggplant emoji on Discord stands for. -Wintermelon enters the Pokemon league and is now a league champion with his Level 100 perfect IV Arcanine. -Jelly starts up a Beatles tribute band with her family. Their tribute band becomes so big that even Paul McCartney is impressed and Jelly finally gets to meet her idol. -Fa inherits the Pittsburgh Steelers from the Rooney family. Fa's first job? Train Kenny Pickett to be the next great Steelers QB. -Steel becomes one of the biggest animation YouTubers and launches a GoFundMe to start his own cartoon. Mr. Enter gets pissed off that more contribute to Steel’s GoFundMe than they did his. -Sauce continues to live life to the fullest and is now a social media influencer with hundreds of millions of followers. Rumor has it that the her followers are divided as to whether her eyelashes are real. -Danny DeVito has officially signed on to play The Thing in Marvel’s Fantastic Four reboot. -Wumbo enlisted in the MLB draft and is working his way up the minor league farm systems as a five tool prospect. The Toronto Blue Jays are going to call him up this weekend. -Ex’s redemption arch is complete christening it as one of the best arches in SBC history. As he continues to stay in touch with his friends while also going to making one of the longest running animes, Kamen Rider Kizuna. -Kieran gets the role as the re-casted Ursula in 2023's live action Little Mermaid movie. -Aya, revealing himself to be the real Jon Moxley, goes on to win the AEW heavyweight championship this coming Wednesday on Dynamite Grand Slam. -Terminoob becomes the new head of the DC Extended Universe. Finally, the 29046th time is the charm as Warner Bros Discovery merges with NBCUniversal. (This was added in last minute due to the rumors yesterday, holy shit what a trainwreck WBD is now) -4EverGreen’s next season is Total Cartoon-rama. -SOF becomes the new head of Nintendo as SOF finds a way to appease all the Nintendo die-hards by doing away with DLC add-ons and releasing fully made games at launch. For once, Nintendo fans finally are pleased with their semi-annual directs. -Hawk decides to retire early with all the money he has made from owning all those talking heads out there like Ben Shapiro and Alex Jones. -PatBack goes on to write his own television series from his own life experiences and ends up winning an Emmy for Most Outstanding Programming. -Patty being the best graphic artist in the game today, decides to get digitized and finally gets to meet Amy Rose for the first time ever. -Kat is now a world famous journalist and regularly attends award shows, but despite all the renowned fame and glamor, she still gets weak when around her husband, Charlie Puth. -Illiniguy now hosts his own Chicago based sports talk show where he has a weekly interview segment with Justin Fields. -Storm gives Titania her own show on HBO Max while it is still up and running before it becomes a hit on whatever the name of the streaming service will be when it merges with Peacock (I still can’t believe this is happening). -Someone finally becomes Somebody. Thus making this annual reoccurring joke dead. -After years of keeping the forums alive, Prez is now the head administrator of the SpongeBob Community. He is rewarded gratefully by Anthony Fantano reviewing Plaid. -Salmon and Dman team up to run for President of the United States and abolish the two-party system. Thus leading to the resolution of our political landscape. -Honest Slug becomes the new lead writer of Family Guy after Season 24. He finally puts the show out of its misery and gets applauded by the fan base everywhere. -BobCarotte becomes a professional tennis player and wins the 2023 French Open dethroning the king of the clay, Rafael Nadal. -Maroon 5 finally break up. -Teenj succeeds Kevin Feige as the new head of the MCU. His first action is to reduce the oversaturation and focus on quality instead of quantity and not treating its graphic artists and writers like shit. The MCU goes back to reliving its glory days once more. -Omair becomes a famous photographer and even after all these years, he still has a soft spot for Nutella and llamas. -70s names his first child, Prudence. -CDCB and CNF meet up and start a weekly episodic television series about classic cartoons and animation. They go on to have a huge cult following. -Mythix buys King Neptune and follows through with his Winx Club Jeopardy idea this time. -Clappy finally wraps up this overlonged epilogue and goes to have a glass of milk and eats brunch. -And last, but certainly not least. JCM, no longer in a cameo, moves into the leading man role. He watches over us all and is the hero when SBC needs him to be. Because sometimes the cameo isn’t good enough. Sometimes the cameo deserves more. Because sometimes cameos deserve to have their faith rewarded. He's the hero SBC deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll cameo him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He’s a silent guardian. A watchful protector. The Snark Knight.
    11 points
  3. https://people.com/tv/betty-white-the-golden-girls-and-hot-in-cleveland-star-dead-at-99/ 2021 really had to get in one last middle finger to us huh. She made it to 100 in my heart.
    9 points
  4. It's that time of the year again: SBC's birthday! Today marks SBC's 13th year of existence! It's truly amazing how this community continues to live on in various ways, whether through the Discord, forums or both. Forums as a concept are long past their glory days but it's still heartwarming to see people still wanting to contribute to them when they can, which means a lot to the staff. We've also reached the point where SBC has outlived tv.com, its originator, which is surreal to think about. Also, the Better Call Saul finale airs today so we're blessed to have that honor too.
    7 points
  5. Our last team event finally reaches its end, and it was the most intense competition we've ever had. The Krew and Buddies kept tying so many times, but in the end, only one prevailed... Final Scoreboard: 1st: Chum Buddies: 19 2nd: Krusty Krew: 17 3rd: Solos: 3 Congratulations Chum Buddies, you are our last team champions! They demonstrated true tyeamwork which helped them edge out to the final lap. The Buddies each received: the Tyeamwork badge, Victory Trophy, 10,000 doubloons, 500 experience points and access to Plankton's account. Quite a loot of prizes to honor this victory, eh? I'm proud of you all, even the Krew who put up one hell of a fight, so don't feel bad about 2nd place. Always tell yourselves: at least you didn't score 3 points, could be worse. Final MVP Statistics: Chum Buddies: @DarknessDG& @SpongeOddFanwith 5 wins! Krusty Krew: @dmandagiraffe with 12 wins! Solos: @WinterArcanine with 2 wins! Final Event Statistics: Jackbox: Krusty Krew (2/3 wins) Weekly Surprise: Krusty Krew (2/3 wins) Kahoot: Solos (2/3 wins) Jigsaw Puzzles: Krusty Krew (3/3 wins) Cards Against Humanity: Tie between all three teams (1/3 wins each) SpongeBob Pictionary: Chum Buddies (2/3 wins) Among Us: Chum Buddies (2/3 wins) Wiki Write-Offs: Chum Buddies (2/3 wins) Trophy Hunt: Chum Buddies (5 hunters) Bikini Bottom Top Chef: Chum Buddies (4 finishers) To cap off this generation of teams, here's a recap of each event they won: Chum Buddies Event Victories (6 victories in total) Mini May 2020 The Super Spongy Square Games 2020 (shared tie) Snowcember Ball 2020 SBC Grand Prix Snowcember Ball 2021 Teams Mania Krusty Krew Event Victories (6 victories in total) March Madness 2020 The Super Spongy Square Games 2020 (shared tie) Octerror Fest 2020 March Madness 2021 Octerror Fest 2021 March Madness 2022 Solo Event Victories: None Thanks to all who played and helped make this a fun finale to teams. See ya later, Bran Flakes.
    7 points
  6. Let's goooooo I wanted to make a throwback to the days when people would post screenshot forum lets plays. Everything is randomized- enemy teams, wild pokemon, their types, their moveset, their abilities, and even who they evolve into. Exciting! My rules are as follows: 1. If a Pokemon faints, it is considered "dead" and stored in the PC box forever. 2. I can only catch the first 'mon I encounter on any route. If it's a duplicate, I may reroll the encounter. I'm also allowed all gift encounters but not two from the same place (So only one Samuel Oak mon) 3. Must nickname all Pokemon after someone based, badass, or tight as hell. (TW: NSFW jokes, nothing extreme but your average shitty internet humor. Light sexual references etc etc) Alright, let's go Chapter 1: Exposition That wraps up the first part! Lots of exposition, so I think from now on we're gonna blitz through this beginning. I'm gonna trim a lot of the fat so we don't end up with any more do-nothing parts, but I wanted this nice welcoming Chapter 1. The decision to cut a lot of the beginning story out should hopefully not be a problem, I hope nobody is using this as their definitive way to experience the game for the first time LOL. But if you are... hey! Stay a while. I love ya. I love all of you
    6 points
  7. So recently, I was reading TVTropes and saw this: This is a very serious issue. As it turned out, Mr Krabs has mutilated Squidward's genitals by cutting them off. This is horrifying, as Squidward has done nothing wrong and deserves to have genitals. Mr Krabs probably cut them off for work purposes, or even just because he likes doing genital mutilation (just like he loves commiting genocide). In my opinion, Mr Krabs should be arrested for this, and be required to pay Squidward's hospital bills. He cannot be allowed to get away with this. What do you guys think about Squidward's genital mutilation?
    6 points
  8. So out of nowhere, my loving cat Jack was feeling very sick, couldn't eat, only drank, didn't use the bathroom really, had black spots on his nose, probably bleeding from his mouth and nose a bit, didn't meow, get up, slept on the ground, looking at us, and I was worried the inevitable was about to happen to another cat of mine at a young age (he may be 11 but I don't care, always wanted my cat to live til 20), and this morning, I didn't get to say goodbye to a loving pet in my family. He was a nice fella, coming in to my room, pawing at me, he acted like a dog sometimes, just kissing your hand and biting it. He was super nice. Never really growled or hissed. Never got angry really. And now. I never get to see him ever again. And I'm depressed about it. Love and cherish your pets. You'll never know when the awful day comes, especially if they were acting normal just a few days ago. I'll miss you, Jack. Hopefully there's an afterlife and you're reunited with your loving brother Elliott who passed in 2013, as well as your friend Ralphy and Tomas. Took this a few weeks ago too. I'm so sad... 2011 - 2022
    6 points
  9. And there we have it... we have reached the end... HERE WE GO!!!!! And there it is! Thank all of you for staying tuned. I really wasn't sure how this would turn out when I first started. But I think it came out pretty well. Despite the relatively low amount of submissions, I think we ended up picking 25 solid episodes that really put a spotlight on the show's various strengths. I hope you guys enjoyed the ride too, despite the unfortunate delay. Regardless of how much this show continues to get milked in the future, we will always have classic Simpsons with us.
    6 points
  10. Hey, it's me, Honest Slug. And yes, this list is still alive. Truthfully, with how long this has taken, I figured that you guys are owed an explanation. You see that in the end we got a rather small sample size. Overall we got 9 participants. Dman, Wumbo, Hippy, WhoBob, Coffee, JJS, OWM, and Mythix all submitted lists, and I would like to thank each and every one of them for making this possible. I too also submitted a list, if that wasn't obvious. However, with 9 lists, that meant that this list ended up being extremely volatile, and the order very much could drastically change from just a single new submission. With this in mind, I knew some people who may have been interested in submitting a list, and thought I could try to delay the list to give them time to rewatch some episodes. I figured that if the list was going to be this volatile, any minor change could seriously make the difference, and therefore I think it made sense to try to get a larger sample. Unfortunately, none of the people I waited for ended up submitting any lists. I don't blame them, we have busy lives, but that's the explanation for why this took so long. If anyone didn't submit for this list ends up coming up with a list later, then maybe we can do a revised version later, who knows. For now however, this is final. Anyways I should probably clarify how this list is structured. I was vague about how many episodes would be included because I really didn't know how many people would submit, and I didn't want to have a situation where we have a list where outlier episodes making it on despite only being on one list. Therefore, I wanted to see the final data before I came up with a specific number of episodes that would make it on. I ended up deciding on 25 episodes. Overall, I think this was the best cut-off to where each episode garnered at least a decent level of support. As for tie-breaking, if two episodes have the same number of points, I pick the one with more lists, if that doesn't work, I pick whichever episode had the highest ranker, if that doesn't work, I just pick my personal favorite.
    6 points
  11. Yeah, this is a thing that is happening. Take it for what you will.
    5 points
  12. I'm not resurrecting the old thread but I am bringing this back for June to coincide with the Spin-Off Festival. The top ten will be posted every week until July 3 and the authors who are top 5 in views by then will get as many doubloons as they have views. A spreadsheet with the raw values I'm using for the new SpongeBoard has also been pinned to the #writing channel of the Discord. Week of May 29, 2022 to June 4, 2022 Total Cartoon Legends! - 261 ( @4EverGreen ) SBCinema - 75 ( @jjsthekid ) SpongeBob SquarePants: Lost in Translation - 66 ( @Steel Sponge ) Most Wanted - 52 ( @jjsthekid ) One-Time Star Wars Characters: Where Are They Now? - 31 ( @OWM ) Patrick Star in the Multiverse of Madness - 29 ( @JCM ) Power Rangers: Multiverse Force - 23 ( @4EverGreen ) Oh Yeah! Collections - 17 ( @Steel Sponge ) Supreme: The Ivory Icon - 10 ( @Rebel the Wolfgirl ) Jjs' Riffing Theater 3000: Family Guy Funny Moments - 9 ( @jjsthekid )
    5 points
  13. As meticulously crafted as SpongeBob has been as an epic narrative, there's unfortunately been one key element missing: ignoring the infamous 2010 BP oil spill, which spawned irreparable damage to the ecosystems. For a show that's set underwater, you'd think it'd be common sense for them to bring it up and show its effects on Bikini Bottom, but nope. I am very disappointed they never found a way to tie into the narrative. Not very bravo, Steve and gang...
    5 points
  14. Greetings, malefactors! After six years of being denied, I have FINALLY been able to take over your website again. My Chum Buddies were unable to secure another win, so I've had enough of them and am taking matters into my own hands. Don't worry, your foolish admins are safe and sound... for now. Special thanks to @sbl for the beautiful skin, who I shall spare from any further hard labor or torture! Here are my immediate decrees: Krabs is banned from both the forum and Discord. "All hail Plankton!" must be at the end of every post of yours or you're going to the gulag. You must eat only Chum Bucket food from here on out. Be sure to pray to my self portraits. All of your doubloon accounts are frozen as I do not believe in wealth. My regime is not without its positives though, as we shall be holding two festivities! The first shall be a turntable party held tonight at 7pm EST! You must play songs and clips related to me or you shall be vaporized. The second will be a Pictionary game dedicated to me tomorrow night. If you draw me incorrectly, you'll also be vaporized. Fun! If you have any questions, don't ask at all. This is also the last time I’ll ever take over the site, so enjoy this while it lasts, peasants! All hail Plankton.
    5 points
  15. So after years of struggling with my identity, I've officially decided to come out as a genderfluid trans girl. Hi. My name's Rebel. What's yours?
    5 points
  16. need a discord break srry, nothing personal. my mental and physical health is just shit
    5 points
  17. you fucking serious with this shit dude lmfao
    5 points
  18. One more, and it's all over! Stay tuned tomorrow.
    5 points
  19. Here's my second ever Spin-Off Direct, covering everything happening with my writings throughout 2022. Here we go! First I'll start off with my current works. 1. SBCinema SBCinema celebrates its 10th anniversary in January 2022, as hard as that may be to believe. I’m honored to have continued it and I’m going to celebrate that milestone by finishing Season 6 in January. The last five movies of this season will be: 116. Captain Phillips 117. Finding Nemo 118-120. Star Wars sequel trilogy Season 7 will then premiere sometime later after that. If anyone wants to guest write on Season 7, let me know in advance and I’ll make room for you. 2. Skodwarde Expanded Universe Skod on the Run: Part 6 of the movie was posted recently by me, only two parts remain. I will be working hard at Part 7 soon, and then @Old Man Jenkins will wrap this bizarre adventure up with Part 8. It's only fitting the creator gets to have the final chapter, which I can already say will be insane. We're looking forward to this ending and hope people enjoy it. Mein Kampf Koral: Kampf will finally come next month, solo'd by me. It will be chopped down from the original plan of 13 episodes to 6 now, which I feel will flow better and I didn't want to drag it out longer than needed. We were holding off to see when Nick would release more episodes for us to parody, but since they're not planning to anytime soon, we agreed to just knock it out as I've already had a satisfying story mapped out. I will release it in a bomb format similar to what I did with Pirate Legends in the beginning of the year. This will also help promote the final part of Skod on the Run, giving the Skodwarde a final ride off into the sun. When all is said and done, both of these will feel like a very final send-off to the Skodverse. We personally don't believe there will be any room for more afterwards. As I've said before, there's only so many times we can bring an old work back and these were mainly done as a 10th anniversary gift. But if in another few years I end up contradicting this sentence, every user on this site has the right to protest for removal from staff and throw me in jail. 3. One-Time Star Wars Characters: Where Are They Now? Season 4 will come in January to celebrate the work’s one year anniversary. As a sneak peek, two episodes in S4 will be about Tusken Raiders and Jawas. One-Time will also continue for 5th and 6th seasons, the latter of which @SnOWMan and I have agreed will be the final season. It’s been fun to do this and we’re happy with all the support people have given it. But we’re slowly running low on ideas and don't wanna overdo it. This will also help us plan out a great final two seasons. We feel by the end of the last season we'll have turned over every stone this universe has to offer. For now, enjoy the ride while it lasts. Next up, here are three brand new works coming next year. 4. Riffing Theater 3000: Family Guy Funny Moments Hey Lois. That's right: I'm doing more JRT miniseries, and next year's will be riffing those old fashioned values on which we used to rely. We'll be riffing 13 of the most infamous Family Guy episodes using transcripts. Special credit goes to @Clappy for this suggestion, as the more I thought about it, it felt like the perfect follow-up from riffing Nostalgia Critic. A lot of us have good and bad memories of taking shots at Family Guy over the years, so this made sense to do next. If there's a specific episode you feel deserves to be here, let me know and I'll try my best to slot it in; I know there's a lot of contenders. I'm going to do my best to narrow it down to the 13 episodes that I feel make the most sense and form a point A to point B of what went wrong with the show like we did with Nostalgia Critic. If anyone wants to be involved, let me know. I won't start this until around spring, so that'll give people plenty of time to prepare and think it over. Freakin' sweet. 5. Scooter's Paradise: Remastered Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. One of my most infamous Tv.com spin-offs is getting a remaster! This may or may not be what all of my Scooter shitposting has been building up to. Back in 2018, I did a remaster of The Adventures of Gary the Snail, my first spin-off, which was a fun trip down memory lane. 4 years later, I’m doing one for my second spin-off. Tv.com's death inspired me to do another and I’m honestly kind of interested in giving this a touch up because it could sure use one lol. I'd like to see if I can salvage this Patrick's Paradise rip-off into something tolerable, and if not, hey, nostalgia. Most episodes will remain the same plot wise, but there will be a few overall structural changes. #ScooterReturns 6. Most Wanted “When you live the life of a criminal, there is no happy ending.” For my final announcement, this work will be the next chapter in my current jjsverse for spin-offs. Most Wanted is a 10 part miniseries taking place after the events of Mystic Guardians. It will focus on Vexacus and the bounty hunter crew he met in the final season. Synopsis: Following the events of Mystic Guardians, Vexacus has returned to his normal life of bounty hunting with a new team. However, just when he thought he was off the hook and on top of the world, several ghosts come back to haunt him. There will be a strong Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul and Book of Boba Fett vibe throughout this. I'll dive deep into the criminal underworld, which I had a lot of fun writing in both MG and PL. This will carry a similar tone to Pirate Legends of centering on morally gray characters, but this time I'm focusing on a straight up antagonist which will be an intriguing experiment for me to tackle. There will be flashbacks set before and during Mystic Guardians. Definitely expect cameos from there and perhaps even Storm Racers too, but they will service the story and not just be done for the sake of connecting the universe. I suppose you could call this Mystic Guardians Season 6, but I also personally don’t as by the end I believe this will be able to stand as its own thing. This will start in spring. I look forward to all of these projects. I'm glad my plan from a year ago to help give this section a reignited spark kind of worked. I think 2022 could be potentially even more fun for writings than 2021 was.
    5 points
  20. Hi everyone! Wumbo and Clappy here to present to you a Christmas present of horrendous proportions. You see, this all started when we learned beloved administrator jjsthekid had a dream that the two of us had reviewed Imagine Dragons' latest album. We decided to make that dream a reality and review it just for him. But when we listened to the album, we decided it was such an... experience that we needed further context. Enter this new Imagine Dragons project, where we will be reviewing all five of their full-length albums and once and for all answering the question: Who are Imagine Dragons, anyway? A generic, bland, rock-adjacent pop band? The confused ramblings of Dan Reynolds set to "music"? A forgotten gem? Maybe not that last one. But maybe something in between! So, starting December 20th and ending December 24th, we will try our best to piece together the career trajectory of Imagine Dragons, one album at a time. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays!
    5 points
  21. Uh oh Lois, SBC is riffing us now! Nyehehehe. For this year's Riffing Theater miniseries, we'll be tackling 12 Family Guy episodes that don't represent those good old fashioned values. Credit to @Clappy again for this suggestion. We've begun working on the first episode, which will be coming soon!
    4 points
  22. Episode XII: You Can't Handle the Booth! THE END (Will I do something special next year for JRT's 10th anniversary? You bet!)
    4 points
  23. since this has been the talk of the discord, this deserves attention here too, best news of the year once an FBI agent acknowledged the site's existence it was over (seriously what the hell)
    4 points
  24. So I was gonna post some other doodles about some other characters but it came to my attention that I'm supposed to draw someone else today- So I did. <.< .... Oh yeah. *ahem* All Hail Plankton.
    4 points
  25. Squidville is another classic beloved episode by many a SpongeBob fan. However, deep within the episode's narrative lies a dark secret: it is an allegory for racism, exampled in the clip above: As this scene and the rest of the episode would go on to demonstrate, Squidville is not a seemingly innocent safe haven for octopi folk: It is an octopi ethnostate. It is quite bold that the SpongeBob writers tackled such a serious concept as early as 2001. Bravo Steve! However, this leaves me wondering several implications this has for the universe. Does Squidville imprison and brutally torture fish that are seemed "inferior"? And how about the geopolitical relations Squidville has with the rest of the sea? This is very important SpongeBob lore I need my answers to.
    4 points
  26. Coming soon to a forum near you 4Kids (Probably): Hey, if we can dub One Piece, we can do this too. Probably.
    4 points
  27. SEASON IV: A NEW... ONE TIMERS? STAR ONE-TIMERS? ONE-TIMER WARS? THE FOURTH SEASON War is upon us. The galaxy is collapsing. Disney is something something. Something something dark side. And the one-timers are back. EPISODE XXXI: TUSKEN RAIDERS We begin our fourth season with the stories of the Sand People. The galaxy sees them as nothing but mindless brutes, but maybe they’re just misunderstood? These stories suggest something different. OK, maybe they don't suggest anything new. But you should still watch out for them. Next episode coming tomorrow.
    4 points
  28. Beats are such an integral part of rap music. I believe viewing it as mainly a lyrical art form is taking a look at it from a wrong angle. Rap is probably my favorite genre of music, so I feel pretty strong about this subject. I don't know entirely to what you've listened to, but after seeing you list albums liks Madvilliany and Ready to Die, it shows to me that you do want to really understand and appreciate this music. If I may suggest albums, based on what you've said: To Pimp a Butterfly by Kendrick Lamar is probably the best example of beats and tonal expression in modern rap music. It is very, very heavily influenced and implements jazz into the entire album. Not to mention the lyrics are very important tell a story through the entire album. This is probably my mainly point of rap that I enjoy the most. A lot of landmark rap albums, to me, tell the best stories in music. Another good example of this is Aquamini by Outkast. I suppose, as you say, you enjoy tonal music over lyrical importance. So, I can understand when an album is more focused on just rapping, like Eminem or something like that. But, a lot of rap that I focus on is very very beat heavy. Now, I could sit here and suggest trap music. I know that, that is not for everyone. But if I had to suggest any trap music, Denzel Curry's TABOO is probably, objectively the best trap album ever. My personal favorite is Die Lit by Playboi Carti, if I may also suggest. I'd like to shift a bit of focus to my favorite rap album, and in turn my favorite studio album ever produced in general; which is Liquid Swords by GZA. Liquid Swords to me, is everything I personally love about rap music. It's the album, other than TPAB, that I suggest to people. Lyrically, it has everything that makes gangsta rap perfect. It's hard, it's aggressive, yet it's sad and has something to say. The beats are nearly unmatched, and the sampling means something greater than most in the genre. Now, focusing on MF DOOM, I can see where your taste lies in that. May I suggest records like Endtroducing... by DJ Shadow (not rap but important hip hop), It Takes A Nation of a Million to Hold Us Back by Public Enemy (important early hip hop that heavily influences modern rap music), Enter the Wu-tang (36 Chambers) by Wu-Tang Clan (which is an influence in major samples being used during albums, much like Madvilliany), The Cold Vein by Cannibal Ox (a contemporary piece of nerd rap that is closely related to Madvilliany), Flower Boy by Tyler, The Creator (more lyrically focused, but obviously influenced by Madvillainy), Some Rap Songs by Earl Sweatshirt (all lyrical and a lot less beats, but all together is linked to that album. Experimental). Experimental rap is also something I would suggest exploring like Exmilitary by Death Grips or Atrocity Exhibition by Danny Green. I could go on and on about rap music, but I hope you can at least give some of these albums a chance. I don't know if I could convince you or anything, I just like seeing people trying to branch out their musical taste. So it's cool that you made a thread like this to try and reach out.
    4 points
  29. After a chilly month with multiple ties, Snowcember Ball reaches its end. The team competition could've gone either way with multiple ties that created much suspense, but in the end, the Chum Buddies clutched the win with 16 points! The Krusty Krew come in 2nd with 13 and the Solos in 3rd with 6. This marks the Buddies' second Snowcember Ball win and 5th win overall. The Buddies all receive 1,000 doubloons and 50 experience points as their prizes. Better luck in the green month, Krew. MVP Statistics: Chum Buddies: 1: @Santa's Little Helper with 6 wins! 2: @Holly Jolly Molly with 5 wins! Krusty Krew: 1: @Fa with 8 wins! 2: @Merry Dmas with 5 wins! Solos: 1: @WinterArcaninewith 2 wins! Event Win Statistics: Cards Against Humanity: Solos (2/3 wins) SpongeBob Pictionary: Tie (1 win per team) Among Us: Tie (1 win per team) Jackbox: Krusty Krew (2/3 wins) Christmas Trivia: Chum Buddies (5/10 wins) Snowman Hunt: Chum Buddies (3 hunters) Advent Calendar: Chum Buddies (3 completers) See you in March for the first team event of 2022.
    4 points
  30. JCM announced the winners on Discord earlier. He is too busy to post the winners here at the moment, so I'll cross-post them in the thread: MEMBERS: WRITING: HALL OF FAME: Congratulations to all of this year's winners, and special thanks to JCM for hosting! I have given everyone their rewards, feel free to put the trophies in your profiles or do nothing with them at all. See you later Bran Flakes for next year's.
    4 points
  31. 4 points
  32. Smoke + Mirrors (2015) Wumbo's Review Clappy's Review
    4 points
  33. Just saw it today in my first trip to the theater in 2 years. My review: Overall, very pleasantly surprised with this. I had a great time. Definitely the best phase 4 film so far and I'm looking forward to where Peter's story in the MCU goes from here.
    4 points
  34. FINALLY! AN EPISODE THATS ACTUALLY GREAT IN THIS GODAWFUL SHOW! LOOK AT THIS SOMETHING FROM MICHIGAN! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SERIES HISTORY! THIS IS ALL THE SHOW HAS BEEN MISSING! 765/10 GOLDEN episode! Make more episodes like this Nickelodeon!
    4 points
  35. Reviving this thread after nearly 2 years to post the one very piece of recent art that I've actually somewhat been quite proud of, and this time courtesy of me new hyperfixation, that jellystone cartoon. A lil' bit of festive squobbie for the hols.
    4 points
  36. Ho ho ho, merry Christmas SBC! For this year’s Christmas present, as part of our current achievements system, we’ve added 4 brand new badges and redesigned the level ranks on your profile to fit the SpongeBob theme (courtesy of Patty for those). You may have already encountered the new badges by now, but they are: Voting Machine, Bran Flakes, Enchanted Tiki and Jellyfish Hunter. I'll explain later in the thread how to obtain them. For those not aware, we updated to IPS 4.6 back in late September which comes with their own new achievements system. Certain actions on the community will award you points using automated rules which will level up your rank. For veteran users, this may remind you of Tv.com's (rip) emblems and also a mix of vBulletin Experience. We also used this new feature as an opportunity reboot our badge system. However, I know a few users have had questions on how exactly this system works and how you earn points. I decided to wait until we had new badges to introduce before explaining in-depth. Now that we have those, here's a comprehensive guide on how to get points and what new badges you can obtain through this system. How to Earn Experience Points: Winning games such as SpongeBob Pictionary, Among Us, Kahoot, Jackbox and Cards Against Humanity gives you 300 experience points. Smaller games such as scavenger hunts or side quests may reward you 100 or 200 points. Becoming Featured Employee gives you 200 points. Winning in the Golden Community Awards gives you 200 points. Following a content item gives you 2 points Following a member gives you and them 2 points each Following 50 members gives you and the last member followed 20 points Joining 10 clubs gives you 5 points Making a piece of content (whether post, status, or a private message) gives you 1 point Reaching a post milestone give you certain amounts of points: Giving a reaction gives you and the user 1 point each Having 50 reactions gives you 25 points Having 100 reactions gives you 50 points Voting in 50 polls gives you 25 points Voting in 100 polls gives you 50 points Being on the site for 1 year gives you 50 points Being on the site for 5 years gives you 100 points Being on the site for 10 years gives you 1000 points Badges: Voting Machine: Vote in 100 polls (New!) Bran Flakes: Reach 100 posts (New!) Enchanted Tiki: Reach 1,000 posts (New!) Jellyfish Hunter: Reach 10,000 posts (New!) One Year Anniversary: Be on the site for a year Five Year Anniversary: Be on the site for five years Ten Yer Anniversary: Be on the site for ten years Ranks: Newbie (0 points) Jolly Good Rookie (40 points) Apprentice (90 points) Explorer (185 points) Contributor (250 points) Enthusiast (400 points) Collaborator (800 points) Community Regular (1300 points) Rising Star (1950 points) Proficient (2600 points) Experienced (3900 points) Mentor (5200 points) Veteran (9100 points) Grand Master (15000 points) Since this system is still fresh and subject to change at any time, expect more new badges and ways to earn more points to come in the future! We hope you have a great holiday season.
    3 points
  37. Wanted to say thank you all for the Honorary Staff Member induction. It was my honor to serve SBC for all the time that I did, and I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. And @Renegade the Unicorn congrats on your win, my friend, it's clear you deserve it.
    3 points
  38. 3 points
  39. Oh man, did not think you'd bring Storm Racers back, but I'm happy you decided to take us on one last drive through their world. I've missed these characters and this last team-up/send-off felt like the perfect way to pay homage to them and their world. Great moments, engaging action, fun easter eggs, and a sense that these characters go on to continue living their best lives. Once more, and for the last time, it was a great ride.
    3 points
  40. It begins... Night Visions (2012) Wumbo's Review Clappy's Review
    3 points
  41. Skod on the Run Part VI: Keanu Reeves Goes to the Movies Keanu and Painty look around at the Planktopolis transformed Bikini Bottom, examining their settings carefully to make sure their eyes aren’t deceiving them. They hear the chants of civilians shouting “ALL HAIL PLANKTON!” and see fish being sent to c(h)um camps. Keanu asks where the hell they’ve ended up now. Painty explains they’ve arrived in an alternate timeline where SpongeBob, Patrick and Skodwarde failed to retrieve Neptune’s Dildo in the first movie. Thus, Plankton killed Movie Neptune, along with Krabs, and declared himself king of the seas, serving as its brutal dictator. Plankton is shown at the Cum Bucket, which has been transformed into a bitchin’ castle. Plankton sits on his throne, with his robot queen Karen sitting next to him. Right next to them is this dimension’s Skodwarde joining the threesome, giving off his trademark smug ass grin. This Skodwarde turn-coated, serving as King Plankton’s right hand man because he couldn’t resist being a part of Plankton’s reicht (and for the lulz, you know, the usual). Several rebels are brought before King Plankton, escorted by Buckethead robots. Plankton says Skodwarde can do the honor, much to his pleasure. The rebels look on nervously as Skodwarde smiles that same smug ass grin once more. Skodwarde begins to physically, emotionally and sexually torture them right in front of the king and queen. He finishes the display by executing every rebel to the tune of Ocean Man. This earns Skodwarde an applause from Plankton and Karen. Keanu and Painty carefully make their way through the hellscape dystopian Planktopolis. They see the Krusty Krab has been completely destroyed, being replaced by the Cum Bucket 2 as a middle finger to Krabs’s corpse. They look over yonder to see several rebels fighting against the Buckethead robots, but are swiftly defeated. Painty tells Keanu he doesn’t want to mess with those, to which Keanu asks how they’re going to escape from here. Painty says they’ll find a way, or rather, as soon as jjs thinks of one. They avoid the Buckethead robots’ sights and then take their search to Downtown Bikini Bottom, or Downtown Planktopolis as it’s now called. Many statues of King Plankton erected throughout and tapestries showcasing him hang on every building. No civilians are in sight, giving the place an ominous vibe. They then hear multiple footsteps. Several Buckethead robots are on patrol, so Painty and Keanu quickly hide in a stony alley. The robots pass by, and the coast is clear. As the two make a run for it, suddenly, a security camera catches sight of the two. It triggers an alarm that annoyingly echoes throughout the city, and the Buckethead robots all become aware. They ominously turn around and begin marching toward the two. The robots begin to surround the two and demand they surrender or face an execution, making Painty is nervous. Keanu calms his fears by telling him he’s had more than enough practice with trashing robots given the Skod Wick world, so he believes these will be a piece of cake. He throws Painty out of the line of fire, who hides behind a stone wall. Painty wishes he could contribute more, but he just be a painting of a head, after all. Keanu does sick kung fu moves on the Buckethead robots, who shoot pew pew death lasers back, and he fires back with his trademark Skod Wick gun. Meanwhile, at Skodwarde’s Legion of Doom Lair, Skodwarde is at the fancy meeting table with Dutchman. The room is a lot quieter now without Pathulu and Spengbab’s presence. Strangely, Poseidon is also nowhere to be seen. Skodwarde asks where Poseidon is, to which Dutchy shrugs and says he’s probably off doing something.The two search every nook and cranny of the lair, but strangely, Poseidon is nowhere to be seen. Dutchy says it’s probably nothing to be concerned about, subtly trying to cover Poseidon’s ass. Skodwarde disagrees however, saying his absence is actually very concerning and he will get to the bottom of it… Back at Dimension 101, Keanu manages to successfully kick the robots’ asses without getting a single scratch on him. Painty comes out of hiding, and in a heartfelt moment, tells Keanu he’s been feelin’ a lil useless on this adventure lately. Keanu insist to him that’s not true, as his guidance is why they’ve made it as far as they have. He says Painty is in some ways, his 2nd Gary. Just because he lacks the fighting talent doesn’t make him useless to their cause. Painty is touched, but then says once Skodwarde is over…what more does he truly have going for him? Keanu admits he doesn’t have the answer to that, but promises he’ll bring him along to wherever they go after Skodwarde’s multiverse of madness is defeated. Painty is touched by this and glad they had this character building conversation. A cloaked man approaches them, and goes “psst, I can help you two fine gentleman find what you’re searching for.” The two aren’t sure if they should trust him and even sense a possible NFT scam, but they promise they aren’t with fuhrer Plankton. They pull down their hood to reveal none other than Danny DeVito (guest starring as himself)! He shows a symbol on his arm, indicating he is a part of The Elites. He tells the two to move their asses and come with him before more of Plankton’s gestapo arrives. DeVito escorts them away to a secluded part of Downtown. They reach an inconspicuous bar known as Paddy’s Pub. DeVito then reveals a secret entrance after pulling a wine bottle. The gang enter the secret bunker. Without their knowledge, a robot had secretly followed their trail, as it carefully watches them enter Paddy’s Pub and transmits this information… Inside the bunker, they see tons of maps and weaponry belonging to the Resistance fighting against King Plankton. The Resistance consists of: Sandy, Bottomites such as Scooter, Larry and Bubblebath, and remnants of The Elites. Sandy is in the back working on a machine. DeVito says there’s no time to spare, as the Big Guy has been waiting for them. Before they can ask questions, DeVito escorts the two to a private room to show. They enter inside, coming face to face with…Poseidon! Poseidon introduces himself as the leader of The Resistance and rightful god of the sea. Oh shit. Poseidon knows they and the audience have a dozen questions, so he prepared an expositive PowerPoint presentation for this moment. Poseidon reveals he has been plotting behind Skodwarde’s back this entire time from the shadows, jealous of how he’s been left out of the lore in and out of universe. He’s sickened by any other being claiming to be a “god” of the sea, for he is the only true one. He sowed the strings allowing for The Elites to be formed and has carefully coordinated several rebellions across the multiverse to take down Skodwarde. But at the center of it all, Keanu is the chosen one destined to bring an end to Skodwarde’s legacy. This leads to gasps from Keanu, Painty and DeVito. Poseidon continues, explaining that when Skodwarde was first birthed, he responded by forging a magical knife, infused with blood, sweat, tears, jizz, Poseidon’s god power and The Elites’ own satanic powers. He notes The Elites’ said satanic powers come from constantly abusing and torturing Squidward, making it an important ingredient of the Skodwarde kryptonite. This is part of why Skodwarde banished him to the Scrapped Dimension, the other part being he’s a dick like that. Poseidon adds this element will be elaborated more in Mein Kampf Koral (subtle promotion). Anyways, the knife was crafted as a failsafe in case Skodwade ever got out of control. Indeed, this was the very knife used by OMJ to off Skodwarde in Who Killed Skodwarde Testicles? (as seen in episode 143!), which Poseidon had guided him to the location. After the events of that episode were resolved, OMJ tossed the knife away, never to be seen again. But Poseidon knew he couldn’t lose it, so he retrieved the knife and transformed it into something that nobody would ever find. Poseidon reveals that Keanu is the physical embodiment of the fabled knife, explaining his lethal power to slay gods as well as his immunity to Skodwarde’s own god power. In fact, Poseidon is the reason Keanu has become the internet sensation he is today and why his career got a rejuvenation. It’s no coincidence that the first John Wick came out in 2014, the same year the events of Who Killed Skodwarde Testicles occurred. Poseidon has been behind everything all along. In other words, we’re pulling a Lost and revealing Skodwarde has always been one long game of chess between two gods. And yes, we’re aware this backstory has reached Kingdom Hearts levels of convoluted. Poseidon asks if there’s any other questions. DeVito decides to ask one the fandom’s been wondering for ages: “I’ve got just one, your holiness: How the hell is there two Neptunes and a Poseidon?” Poseidon explains those two Neptunes, who are secret gay lovers (as first revealed in “Bad Times at the Scrapped Dimension!”), are simply figureheads he allows to rule but they are ultimately followers of Poseidon’s will. DeVito is satisfied with that explanation and is ready to end the exposition. Painty says he smells some whacky retcons whipped out of the writers’ asses, to which Poseidon replies with: “come on, you know what spin-off you’re reading.” Keanu isn’t sure how to process all of this. His purpose in life was to kill a shitpost character from a SpongeBob fan fiction? Poseidon sternly says they don’t have much time and need to get out of here fast, as that there is another dimension, Dimension 102, containing a powerful artifact Keanu can use to end Skodwarde’s multiverse. This artifact is none other than the magic book used by Burger Balls, aka Antonio Banderas, in the second movie. Once the squirrel finishes her machine, they can use it to get outta here. Suddenly, Plankton’s forces begin to march toward Paddy’s Pub outside. Their time was up. Sandy continues to work as fast as she can on her teleportation machine, setting its coordinates for Dimension 102. Scooter says at least this can’t get any worse. Just then, to make that jinx come true, Skodwarde teleports into the hideout in a godly fury. Skodwarde heard everything and is beyond pissed at Poseidon’s receipt, yet he also feels like a dumbass himself for not seeing it coming. Poseidon says he will hold Skodwarde off for them, sacrificing himself. Poseidon uses his powers to throw Keanu, DeVito and Painty into the machine. Poseidon and Skodwarde enter a god battle, sending god powers blasting across the room, but Skodwarde easily snaps Poseidon’s neck, killing him. The rest of the Resistance and the robots attack Skodwarde, but he vaporizes his way through them. Using Sandy’s time machine, Keanu, DeVito and Painty teleport out of there. Skodwarde then nukes the entirety of Dimension 101 and vanishes. At the Legion of Doom Lair, Dutchy is kicking back and watching the events unfold through the multiverse television. Skodwarde approaches from behind and says bluntly to Dutchy: “No more half measures.” Dutchy knew this was coming, and has no other response. Skodwarde says it’s a shame as he always had a soft spot for him, but he cannot take any more risks and will need to finish this story himself. It’s clear he cannot trust anyone anymore. Dutchy shrugs and accepts his fate with dignity. He’s already died before, anyways. Skodwarde then vaporizes Dutchy out of existence right there. Skodwarde looks at the tv, showing Keanu and Painty in Dimension 102, so he knows that’s his next destination. Skodwarde realizes he’s lost control over this multiverse and the only way to fix it is by performing a full measure that kills Keanu for real. In Dimension 102, Keanu, Painty and DeVito have arrived in another hellscape, this time an apocalyptic Bikini Bottom. We’re full Mad Max up in here now, boys. In this timeline, SpongeBob and gang failed to defeat Burger Balls, so the Krabby Patty famine was never resolved. The sea collapsed into chaos and warring factions began to fight for survival. Hope ya still like leather. Burger Balls then got himself a pirate crew, killed the annoying seagulls, and plundered the land thanks to the magic book’s powers, putting Captain Jack Sparrow to shame. Painty explains they'll somehow need to get on land to find Burger Balls, who has the magic book. DeVito asks how the hell they're gonna do that, to which Painty reveals they can get up there with…THE HOOKS! (as seen in episode 20a!) Unfortunately, to get there, they will have to hike through the hell deserts. Keanu, Painty and DeVito begin to traverse through the deserts, to which DeVito obligatorily says: "I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere." Skodwarde arrives in the apocalyptic Bikini Bottom, and looks on at the chaotic setting. Normally he would adore this chaos, but then he gets annoyed and wonders if this is jjs’ attempt to continue SBC: Wasteland Warriors, to which I can confirm no. The more that waste is forgotten, the better. Skodwarde snaps his tentacles, trying to nuke the dimension right then and there, but something cockblocks him. He suspects this must be the work of the magic book and goes on a hunt to find Burger Balls, getting out of the sea. As the gang continues their trek through the desert straight out of Dune, they begin to have a quaint bonding experience, discussing the events they've been through in this part. DeVito says it's an honor to meet Keanu after what he's heard, and the fact he's born to kill god is pretty badass. He then asks the two what they'll do after this mess is over. Keanu says he'd like to forge his own destiny going forward and not serve as a pawn for gods any longer. Painty says he'd like to become a real pirate, not just live as a painting of one. Keanu then asks what he should even write when he does get a hold of the book, as Poseidon wasn’t clear on that. Painty realizes that Skodwarde only exists due to SBC existing, which wouldn’t exist if SpongeBob had ended after the first movie and faded into obscurity. He tells Keanu that is a satisfying compromise that will still allow him to exist in some capacity, and not rid the world of SpongeBob completely. Keanu promises he will write this down, as they look over to see several hooks hanging in the distance. They're almost there. Suddenly, they are jumped by several scavengers wearing Mad Max gear, hissing like feral animals. Keanu and DeVito begin fighting them, as DeVito transforms into The Trash Man. DeVito tells the two to go on without him and that he will hold them off, as time is of the essence and that Skodwarde will be here any moment. DeVito stays behind, letting the scavengers dogpile him. He yells to the two: always love rum ham! Keanu and Painty bid him farewell, as they rush off to the hooks while DeVito unleashes his rage and flings the scavengers off of him, fighting them all like a goddamn hero. Keanu and Painty hop onto the hooks, which carry them up to the great beyond. They look down at the fiery Mad Max Bikini Bottom from the view. They'll miss DeVito's charm, but know they must honor his sacrifice by finishing the mission. They are hoisted up onto a fishing boat, and the fishermen faint upon seeing the two. They then see Burger Balls's ship sailing into view, firing cannonballs at the fishermen's boat. Painty says that be Burger Balls' ship, and that they need to get on board, as the two avoid incoming cannonballs. The boat begins to sink as the fishermen jump overboard. The pirate ship goes right next to the boat, as the pirate crew storms the ship and plunders it for treasure. Keanu and Painty sneak their way out, as they board the plank and are now on Burger Balls's ship. Burger Balls walks down the deck stairs, pointing his sword to the two and displaying a creepy grin. Keanu says he must be Burger Balls, I presume, which annoys him deeply. Burger says he no longer goes by the juvenile moniker of "Burger Balls" and instead has fully embraced is identity as Captain Antonio Banderas, a true Pirate Lord. Banderas explains he knows all about Keanu and why he's here. He was originally sent by The Elites to retrieve the book and use it in their plans to stop Skodwarde, but Banderas decided to go rogue and use the book for other plans. Skodwarde then appears on board the ship, clapping his tentacles. He admits he's impressed Keanu has managed to evade him this long, but this dance ends right here, partner. He is not amused at jjs trying to continue Pirate Legends either, even though that’s not my intent again. Having a pirate villain kind of wrote this scenario itself, y’know. Skodwarde demands Banderas give him the book right now, as he will not let his powers be undermined by a literal ass pull book. Banderas refuses, saying neither of them are getting the book. He says he's been aware of Skod's nuking spree, and he will not let go of this dimension. He's actually happy and a competent threat here, living like a true pirate king. He explains he made it so the book prevents Skodwarde from pulling the trigger that kills him and nukes this dimension. However, he offers to join Skodwarde's forces in killing Keanu and perhaps they can work out a compromise. Skodwarde refuses the offer, saying he doesn't trust anyone anymore, so he decides to attack everyone on board. A massive sword fight breaks out on deck. Keanu steals two swords from a pirate, tossing the other to Painty. Painty sheds a tear, finally getting to live the pirate he wished to be, as he duels some. Keanu stabs two of Banderas's pirates and makes his way to the captain himself. Skodwarde tries to vaporize the pirates with his god powers, but his powers are blocked. Using the book's powers, Banderas also made his crew immortal in true Pirates of the Caribbean fashion, much to his frustration. Skodwarde says that won't matter as all he needs is the book, so he steals a sword as well and fights off the pirates too. Keanu follows Banderas up the mast and duels him above it, carefully looking below. The two get into it real good, and Banderas is the more experienced swordsman, but Keanu is able to deliver a gash right at Banderas's arm, actually hurting him. Banderas is surprised and realizes Keanu must cancel out the book's powers, making him nervous. Below, Painty pushes two pirates overboard and stabs another through the head. It does not kill them due to their immunity, but Painty is having a hell of a time regardless, lads. Skodwarde begins slashing pirates' bodies apart and tossing them overboard, angrily making his way to Banderas. He then sees Painty dueling nearby. Keanu continues to sword fight with Banderas, bringing their duel back onto the captain's deck. In the end, Keanu is able to disarm him. He then punches Banderas in the face, sending him flying to the deck. He drops the book, which Keanu is about to grab, when suddenly… Painty continues to duel pirates, when he then briefly stops and sees Keanu has the book in his grasps, moments away from victory. Within that brief moment, Skodwarde fatally stabs his sword right through Painty. Keanu stops in his tracks, and turns, hearing the dying call of his companion. Painty says one last time, “I wasn’t ready for that, kids…” and dies. Keanu had now lost two of his most trusted companions throughout this insane journey to the evil that is Skodwarde. He had many emotions going through him, but one thing he knew is that this had to end, once and for all. Keanu quickly grabs and writes down in the book: “SpongeBob SquarePants never continued past the first movie.” Everyone is shocked at what Keanu has decreed, even Skodwarde. Banderas is so shocked his balls drop off. Before any of them can attack Keanu, a light shines from the book. Skodwarde, Banderas and his pirate crew all disappear into a Thanos dust. And snap, just like that, the universe around Keanu implodes. History is being rewritten.
    3 points
  42. Ho ho ho, I'm sure people have been eager to see what skins have our Decorators crafted in the workshop this year! Here's what skin roster we have for this year: Everyone: Santa Star: The default winter wonderland of a skin, created by @sbl! No holiday scenery is ever complete without the star on top. Christmas Presents: Continuing the trilogy, Kieran has unwrapped another new colorful skin. Try not to drown yourselves in the presents! Christmas Cookies: A delicious returning skin from last year's Snowcember, created by Kieran. Loyal Customers: Christmas Sweater: A returning warm, comfortable skin that protects your skin (lol) from the cold this time of the year, created by Kieran. Snowball Community: Another returning snowy spectacle of a skin, created by @Cha. Enjoy the skins!
    3 points
  43. 3 points
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