Leaderboard

January 23rd somehow marks 15 years since I first joined SBC. This month also marked a decade since I became the “leader”, although I’ve more or less disassociated that title. I never thought I’d spend half my life here, but I’m proud to still be here and have formed an incredible crew with this community. I’m thankful to everyone who’s been with me over the years (whether willingly or not), even the haters and losers. I’m glad people continue to stick by SBC no matter how convoluted the storyline gets. Don’t know if they’ll ever see this, but a special shoutout goes to 70s and spongebobs1fan for convincing me to join SBC in the first place. Who knows where I’d be now if they hadn’t convinced me. Now for the fun part: In my 10 year anniversary thread I did a few top 10’s for my favorite aspects across SBC history, so I’m doing something similar again with two new bonuses. My Top 10 Events: The community’s events have become one of its most iconic elements. Here’s my current personal favorites, which has changed significantly from my last one. 10. Octerror Fest 2012: While this may not have been as polished as modern events and there are better Octerror Fests I could’ve chosen instead, this will always have a special place in my nostalgic heart since it was the first “real” event on the community. The introduction of iFish was one of my favorite reveals and this laid a solid foundation to be improved upon as the years progressed. 9. Rodessance (2018): A nice reprieve after everything that occurred that summer. It did a great job getting me invested in the western theme despite how little I care for Pest of the West as an episode. Yeehaw! 8. Teams Mania (2022): The Teams feature admittedly grew tired as it went on, but this gave it the best possible send-off it could’ve gotten. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time anticipating which team would win out in the end. The Chum Buddies pulling off the last victory by a razor thin margin was one of the hypest moments in any event. We have no plans to ever bring Teams back because it’d undermine what a satisfying conclusion this was. 7. Febracadabra! (2022): Some of our most interesting events are where we use a concept in only a handful of SpongeBob episodes, and this is one of them. This was a fun and whimsical event that committed to being a magical time; I also associate this with the start of our Owl House fad. This event laid the foundation for the current event scoreboard systems so I consider it a good stepping stone on that basis. It also has one of my favorite event title puns. Turn your magic on. 6. Noirgust (2020): 2020 wasn’t the best year for many, but SBC was still there to provide you comfort with fun events like this. The mystery element, winning clues to piece together the answer and tying this into the former Whodunnit game provided extra flavors to make the event unique from the others. The new atmosphere following our server move also helped boost this event’s memorability for me. 5. The Super SpongeBash Games 2024: The first ever fusion of two different events and it worked out amazingly. This was an exciting way to celebrate both SpongeBob’s 25th birthday and SBC’s competitive games. The Kahoots in particular were some of my favorites we’ve done due to the activity they got and challenges they provided. 4. Flicks February (2019): SBC has a passionate base of film buffs, and this was a fun way to represent that. Our group screenings of cinematic classics such as Green Book, Up and The Room are cherished as some of our funniest times together. The skins made for it were also creative and memorable. We know there’s an interest in another movie event and someday you may get your wish. 3. Camp SBC (2015): This is no longer my number 1 event, but it still holds a special nostalgic place in my heart. I consider this to be the event where SBC events transitioned into the status quo you see today. The atmosphere and activity during this time is a story that will be passed down in future campfire stories. 2. Anthemic Anniversary (2024): Our best anniversary celebration yet, hands down. It had: a terminoob cameo, represented one of the community’s biggest passions in music, brought back some old faces, forumotion flashbacks, a Jeopardy cameo, and revived classic SpongeCraft. What more could you ask for? 1. Arcade Anarchy II (2023): Yep, this is now my new number 1 event. Part of that is due to the atmosphere where most of the community discussed and played Cosmic Shake. Even if we may not care about SpongeBob overall anymore, the fact we united to talk about a SpongeBob game was heartwarming and fun. The other part is the way it brilliantly mixed together both Spin-Off Festival and March Madness into a fresh new event series. It kept me on the edge of my seat to see who’d win the scoreboard, The Cosmic Shake Community is one of my all time favorite skins, and it’s great we have a regular event about video games now. A spectacular way to bring back an event. My Top 10 Stories: The SBC writing scene isn’t what it once was, but it still meant a lot to me and I wanna give em their respect. Mostly the same as 2020's but there's some changes. 10. Bikini Bottom Nature Watch by OWM: A funny idea making creative use of visuals. Had potential for more but I understand why it didn’t continue. Speaking of Bikini Bottom experiments… 9. The Modernization of Bikini Bottom by Fa: One of the most interesting and bold experiments using the SpongeBob setting from the SBC library. While it’s a shame it didn’t continue, I’ll always remember its innovation. 8. Underwater Survivor: SBC Style by Steel: While a product of its time in several areas now, I had fond memories of waiting in anticipation for each chapter in the early 2010s. The challenges were creative and I enjoyed being Chris McLean (thankfully without the criminal part). I don’t regret spending countless hours making the wiki elimination tables. 7. Team SpongeBob by teenj: Despite rocky beginnings, this really blossomed into something special as it continued each year. It makes me proud to see how teenj has evolved as a writer since this. 6. One-Time SpongeBob Characters: Where Are They Now? by Wumbo: An entertaining idea that made fun use out of SpongeBob’s whacky extended cast. I also owe this a special thanks for influencing OWM and I’s One-Time Star Wars Characters. 5. The Krusty Train by The_Cartoon: An obscure deep cut if you weren’t there for the tv.com days, but I religiously looked forward to each new chapter of this every day. Watching as the Krusty Krew ventured around the undersea world and as it snowballed into a larger story was revolutionary and creative for the period this was written during. No idea where Cartoon is today but if he ever coms across this, I hope he knows how much this meant to young me. 4. MegaloMania by OMJ: I could’ve put several OMJ works in this place instead but I stand by this as one of his best and showing how far he’s come as a writer. An intriguing, comedic and tragic riff on Shark Week all at once. The way OMJ managed to spin his own shark lore out of connecting SpongeBob’s scattered puzzle pieces was brilliant. While more could’ve been nice, I also respect the decision to keep it a one-off miniseries. Remember that fish are friends, not food. 3. JCMovies by JCM: Still one of the funniest SBC themed stories in the library. I’m glad it got one last ride into the sunset for the new generation. Maybe the grim reaper will play fitting music in retirement. 2. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy: Unite! by terminoob: I’m sure he doesn’t look back fondly on this, but young me loved it and I still hold nostalgic fondness for it. Had it not been for this, I probably wouldn’t have evolved my writings the way I did, so I’m thankful to it for that. 1. Spin-Off Action by Clappy: Still my number 1. I would constantly wait in anticipation for each chapter as if I was reading spin-off Survivor. The way Clappy paid respect to multiple stories and juggled their characters was commendable. Now for two new sections to appropriately fit with SBC’s interests in all media. My Top 10 Shows: I’ve watched a good chunk of shows over my lifetime so it’s about time I finally locked in a list. This was not easy to make because it’s tough to put these over another and hard cuts had to be made. Consider this more of a GOAT hall of fame than a countdown. This will probably change in a few years or even months but for now this is as solid as it’ll get 10. King of the Hill: Starting off with my favorite anime. Its mundane deadpan style isn’t for everyone but that’s kinda why the show works so well. It may not have the same zaniness as Simpsons or Family Guy but there’s many hilarious moments I find myself revisiting to this day. While its quality did shake as it went on, it never got truly terrible and at least it ended with respectable dignity instead of dragging its corpse on for eternity. I tell you whut. 9. Avatar: The Last Airbender: An obvious pick but a deserved one. The character development, story progression and animation are still master class. It’s a miracle this was able to be created at Nickelodeon at all. Nothing else I can add that hasn’t already been said. 8. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2003: This will forever always be my ninja turtles. It strikes an impressing balance of taking the source material and improving upon it with original unique ideas (something the 2012 show blushes at). The action is some of the hardest ever crafted in western animation. Yes, the last two seasons aren’t good but you can easily ignore them because you have a complete story in the first five seasons + Turtles Forever. They don’t ruin the show overall. Without this, we possibly wouldn’t have certain serialized action cartoons like ATLA. Similarly in origin, it’s also a miracle 4Kids of all companies allowed this to be made. 7. The Sopranos: It would be blasphemy if I left this off as an Italian. A compelling deconstruction of generational trauma, the inability to change and masculinity. While slightly uneven at times, it deserves it status as one of the most iconic shows ever made for a reason. The therapy scenes are some of the most thought provoking and introspective moments I’ve seen, which are actually the show’s highlights. Without this, several prestige shows that will later appear on the list would’ve never existed. Don’t stop believing in gabagool. 6. Barry: What happens if you mixed Breaking Bad and BoJack Horseman together? Barry is your answer. It’s a beautifully balanced twisted mix of comedy and drama, which is extremely difficult to pull off. Bill Hader, Stephen Root, Henry Winkler, Sarah Goldberg and Anthony Carrigan elevate these elements with their fantastic performances. The show brilliantly deconstructs the hypocrisy of Hollywood and it’s amazing how the show does so much with its short runtime. The finale has one of my favorite ending scenes of all time, as uncomfortable and twisted as it is. Special thanks to Ex and Fa for getting me on board with this. 5. The Leftovers: The perfected version of Lost without the narrative convolutions and fat. A depressing but ultimately beautiful romp that captures the essence of how to cope with loss through and not getting answers in an uncertain time. The show’s music is some of the most ethereal and beautiful I’ve ever heard. The show is surreal, weird and leaves much up to interpretation, but that's why it's beautiful. This is perfectly demonstrated in International Assassin and The Most Powerful Man in the World, which are some of the best and craziest television episodes ever made. 4. Breaking Bad: You’re goddamn right this is here. With some of the best performances, suspense, action and directing in history, this deserves its iconic acclaim and no amount of contrarians will ever change that. 3. Mr. Robot: it’s easy to say this is Breaking Bad or Fight Club with techno geeks, but the show is much more than that with a unique identity. It’s a disturbingly brilliant dissection of mental health and society’s failings. The music, direction and acting all help elevate an already incredibly gripping narrative. The show’s ambitious and experimental episodes such as Master Slave, Please Don’t Delete Me, 405 Method Not Allowed and 407 Proxy Authentication Required are god tier art. There is one particular scene towards the end of the series that left a profound impact from me and is genuinely one of my all time favorite moments in media. Special thanks to WhoBob for getting me to watch this and fuck society! 2. The Americans: May be a surprise to see this so high, but I was legitimately in love with this from the first episode and stayed hooked on the edge of my seat through the entire ride. The show will have you in suspense fearing the main duo could be caught at any moment, which never made even the most mundane situations and interactions dull for me. Matthew Rhys and Keri Russell play one of the best and most dangerous Russian spy couples I’ve seen, heightened by their incredible performances. Noah Emmerich is also a startlingly underrated actor who needs more attention for his role here. The payoffs are immensely satisfying, and the finale has one of the greatest acted scenes in history. As a history buff, this made me more invested in the Cold War time period; setting this during that timeframe helped give it an special flair without feeling like a gimmick. The music played throughout the show was also perfect, I’m glad someone on the crew seemed to like Genesis. Special thanks to Kat for convincing me to watch this. 1. Better Call Saul: May or may not come as a shock from the literal Jjs Goodman. I personally don’t like comparing this and Breaking Bad against each other as they are all part of the same story at the end of the day and work in harmony together. However, grouping both together would be a copout so I had to pick one, and after much thought, I stand by this being my number 1 favorite show of all time. It's a slow burn (though it's not much slower than BB or Sopranos) but it's never dull because of Jimmy's energy and the show's fantastic comedy. I like how the show's big dramatic moments tend to be harsh conversations. Jimmy’s transformation is more compelling, nuanced and layered than Walt’s. Everything in the show matters and has a satisfying payoff (yes, even Mike’s story; cope haters). You know the destination, but how they fill in the journey along the way and still making it suspenseful is beautiful. The best prequel, interquel and sequel ever made. There will never be anything like it again, but it’sall good, man. My Top 10 Games: I’m a pro gamer who has amassed quite a gaming library over the years. Like with shows, this wasn’t easy to make and will change within time, but I’m content with this for now. 10. Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal: A great cap to the original trilogy with the gameplay perfected. Nefarious makes a hilarious and entertaining debut here. This also won’t be the last Insomniac game you see on this list in a not so subtle tease. Special thanks to Jane and Ben for getting me into this series. 9. Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped: Another fantastic trilogy capper perfecting the Naughty Dog Crash formula, with some of the series’ most memorable levels. Although it’s a little strange that Crash had a chance to stop 9/11 and didn’t. 8. Kirby Super Star Ultra: One of the best rereleases of a game ever. I got so much replay value out of this as a kid due to the variety of content. This is the Kirby formula at its most fun. 7. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas: After replaying it last year, I can confirm this still holds up as the quintessential GTA experience. Even with the annoyances like following that damn train or the flying sections, they’re still part of the game’s heart and I can’t imagine it without them. I’ll always thank this game for introducing me to artists like Rod Stewart. 6. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky: The definitive edition from this spin-off series with some of the best writing in the entire franchise. The added features improve the experience in many aspects and the special episodes were a great way to flesh out the cast. 5. Ghost of Tsushima: A very pleasant surprise that I did not see myself loving as much as I did going in, but I was captivated immediately by the story, characters, visuals and combat. There’s a healthy variety of side quests (something most open worlds struggle with) and the sword fighting is satisfying to master the more you practice. I actually needed to strategize and use my brain to take out certain enemies. Thanks to OMJ for convincing me to give this a chance and I look forward to the sequel. 4. Super Mario Odyssey: The Mario formula at its zenith for me. Spending Christmas 2017 playing this as my first Switch game is a heavenly experience I’ll never forget. Wahoo! 3. LA Noire: 14 years later and this remains the best mystery video game ever made. It feels like you’re watching a prestige crime drama instead of playing a video game at times, which may not be for everyone, but it works amazingly for me because it compliments the gameplay. Given the excruciating pain that went into getting this developed, it makes me respect that the game came out in a decently functional state at all. It’s a shame we’ll likely never get a follow-up, but never say never. 2. Pokemon Black and White 2: Of all the mainline Pokemon games, this is the one that does its core gameplay mechanics the best and remains undefeated in that department to this day. The amount of features and content put into a game they knew most casuals weren’t going to use is commendable. They didn’t even have to do what they did here, but they did anyways, which is why I respect it. This is the closest feeling to playing a rom hack. (Note that if rom hacks counted, Pokemon Unbound would be here instead) 1. Spyro: Year of the Dragon: Spyro has meant so much to me since I was a kid. I debated about which of the original trilogy was worthy of this spot as all three are contenders, but I had to go with the finale as it’s the one I had the most nostalgic attachment to. This does everything I could ask for in a platforming game (and game in general), you can spend hours trying to do everything this has to offer without realizing it. The levels are peak Spyro design and all creative with not a single miss. Yes, even the levels where you don’t play as the purple dragon are fun and never overstay their welcomes. We may never get our proper Spyro 4, but at least we still have this as a perfect ending. Thanks if you had the power to read through all this. I wish everyone else with milestone anniversaries coming up their dues as well. See you, space cowboy. *clocks out*

Picture, if you will, the Bikini Bottom as we know it. A metropolis just beneath the ocean's surface, teeming with undersea life. But what if I told you there is a timeline where one of its residents may as well have never existed? A world where a certain rodent was brutally killed in a car accident before she could ever arrive (or maybe she was hit in the face with acid, I don't know)? If you want to take a peek into this twisted dimension, look no further than...The Shitpost Zon- erm, I mean, What If...? Episode 2: What If…Sandy Cheeks Died as a Child? Without the invention of Sandy Cheeks' water helmets, it's very unlikely that SpongeBob, Patrick, and every other undersea creature would ever be able to survive in oxygen-filled environments at all. They would forever be confined to the ocean, never feeling the desire to explore what is beyond their underwater sky. Additionally, the Bikini Bottom residents would never have a land creature as a punching bag to make fun of, therefore making them slightly more racist among themselves. And by "slightly", I mean "a lot". During a rehearsal for the Bubble Bowl, instead of a small fight breaking out between Harold and Mr. Krabs, it turns into an all out riot. The damages to the town are immense, and every crab in Bikini Bottom is unjustly forced to move above water, thereby causing the closure of the Krusty Krab. Years pass by, and the entire population now has to deal with the consequences of their actions and eat at the Chum Bucket, while SpongeBob lacks any purpose in life and becomes a soulless husk of his former self. In an attempt to rejuvenate the economy, the rest of Bikini Bottom ventures to the surface to make amends with the crabs, but unfortunately they only last for minutes on land before they pass out from heat exhaustion, never reaching their former crustacean associates at all. Ultimately, SpongeBob is left alone. He never sees anyone else for the rest of his life, but he doesn't notice nor does he care. He is lifeless. This is sonicjordan's SpongeBob SquarePants. A city in ruins with its only sign of life not even having life to begin with. Why does he want Sandy dead so bad? Would anyone watch this show? I mean I would, but that isn't relevant. The existence of Sandy is vital to the rest of the show, and his failure to realize this has resulted in the darkest possible outcome for Bikini Bottom. So, to answer the question on everyone's mind: Is sonicjordan stupid? No. He is Texas.

SBC has somehow made it to our 15th birthday, which is a milestone I’m sure many never expected us to reach. It’s surreal seeing how far we’ve come from a small scrappy refuge forum in 2009 to a somewhat large friend group that happens to circle around SpongeBob in 2024. SBC has continued to be my favorite place to be on the internet and I’m proud of how it’s evolved over the years. Forums are sadly a dying breed and while our Discord may be the center of activity now, I still enjoy keeping the forum around for nostalgia and other purposes. Whether you celebrate our anniversary through the forum or Discord, it doesn’t matter as both are equally valid. Now here’s special sentimental words from several members: I owe a special thanks to everyone’s who helped keep the community afloat over these 15 years. Even if you don’t visit the community often anymore, your contributions are still greatly appreciated and your presence will never be forgotten. SBC will always be around in some form and that’s the beauty of it. I said during our 10th anniversary there’s something almost magical about this community and that remains true. Now go on and enjoy the Anthemic Anniversary festivities! We’ve also temporarily reopened our old forumotion site if you want a trip down memory lane. Happy birthday, everyone!

The SpongeBob Community, it is a forum that emerged from the ashes of tv.com. It’s a group of friends old and new. Once dedicating their time to appreciate the beloved cartoon SpongeBob SquarePants, now it’s a found family sharing their common interests beyond the realms of the cartoon. If I told you that years ago SBC was meant to merge with another SpongeBob fandom group called Encyclopedia SpongeBobia, would you believe me? Of course you wouldn’t. It’s a wild idea that never came to pass. Thankfully so but what would have happened If the staff of SBC had agreed to merge with ESB and it eventually had become an unstoppable consuming product? Find out in today’s episode of SBC What If’s… Episode 3: What If… SBC was owned by a corporation? We are on Earth-46853 and the year is 2013. SBC and ESB had an agreement of merging both places which eventually became The SpongeBob Universe. It was a scary idea that would require both forums adapting to each other’s environment and oh boy they adapted so fast, adapting into never ending arguments and drama but instead of this driving away the members, it eventually got bigger and bigger. Drama became about dragging the conversations, becoming an endless cycle of disagreement and distrust but oh boy members of SBC and ESB got into it. They had a kick out of trashing each other. Somehow SBC never matured because of dealing with ESB’s members and they realized they couldn’t contain all this drama in one big place. Year 2022 and Morbius movie was upon us. Sony decided to make an official Morbius discord server in anticipation of the movie. Reminder to those who read this tale, the movie was never gonna be successful…until SBU decided to raid the server and started trolling the members. It got so out of hand that it was time to shut down the server once and for all but one person who saw an opportunity in all of this chaos and that was Jared Leto, the guy who played Morbius himself. His evil nature decided that “wouldn’t it be the best if you guys could just own SBU?”. He offered it to Sony and Sony took it into consideration. Eventually Sony bought SBU but ESB members of SBU decided this is not gonna work at all, so they all fled and Sony realized that, deciding to eliminate ESB’s accounts once and for all. And they did it alright. Eventually all that was left was SBC members who saw the horrors of it and decided to stay on Sony's leash. Therefore Sony turned SBC into their new IP, a forum that is useful for everyone. But the problem was Sony owning a forum called SpongeBob Community and Paramount did not take this lightly. They decided that merging both companies was the wise option, so they sued Sony that if they don't hand over SBC property to them, they’ll own the entire company. Sony, scared shitless, decided to merge with Paramount and what became in the end was Sonymount company and with that, SBC took off. Year 2036 and SBC members realized that they are unable to age or change because Sonymount decided that the forum should become a forever place with members stuck in a status quo, unable to change, grow and learn. It resulted in them fighting each other over nothing that drove the franchise forward. As years passed by, Sonymount decided to convert every single company under their thumb so that it reached global status. Year 2070, everyone in the world became part of the SBC machine. Governments were dismantled, all that was left was Sonymount claiming rulership over the Earth, insistenting everyone to contribute to the SBC machine. Using everyone’s precious time to feed into capitalism. Merchandises were being made, everyone’s wealth got ruined in a second. Now everyone’s the slave of the forever cycle of discussing SpongeBob and exploiting original members of SBC’s souls so bad, Sonymount decided to turn them into AI generated members that will engage with the world. Year 2104 and the world got turned into an AI hell. Everyone got converted into robots that would feed the machine. Everyone lost, especially SBC members who realized that there’s no way of getting out of this mess. Until they came to the conclusion that 95 years passed by since the creation of SBC. And that meant one thing: Public Domain. The machine that is Sonymount realized that SBC can be freely used by everyone in the world, therefore breaking the cycle and freeing the original members of SBC as well as the rest of the world from the purgatory. Sonymount fell as the world was free from being slaves of the machine and everyone was free to do whatever they wanted. What original SBC members decided was that their time had passed and it was the moment they all accepted the sweet relief of death. They aged up so fast after forced immortality was over. The original members passed away and got the taste of peace for the first time ever.

Based on an idea of Clappy's, here's a group project for fun to celebrate SBC's 15th anniversary. Writing team consists of me, him, WhoBob, dman, Meko and Steel. “There Was An Idea”...nearly fifteen years ago. A few tv.com members abandoned a wildly inconsistent, but popular Internet forum to start their own moderately SpongeBob Internet forum. Through many highs and lows, it still exists nearly fifteen years later. And just like all other properties and IPs that existed for at least fifteen years, it doesn’t come without many introspections and wondering what could have been. Join us as we revisit those highs and lows as they ponder…What If…? Episode 1: What If…Terminoob Never Left? terminoob was a man known for one famous act: Creating The SpongeBob Community. But what if…he never left the community? In this timeline, terminoob made sure SBC was what he originally intended it to be: a refuge for tv.com users only and he enforced this rule with an iron fist. Any potential outsiders were quickly terminated. SBC’s growth soon dwindled and the remaining regular circle became worried about terminoob. One day, the FBI got wind of terminoob’s antics and kidnapped him, seeing potential. They reprogrammed him into an internet assassin, to do one thing: terminate all internet enemies…and noobs still. He would go on to become one of the most infamous internet boogeymen, being a stone cold terminator. Everyone across the internet shuddered in fear at the mention of his name and SBC, knowing not to cross them. Hollywood got wind of terminoob’s antics and turned his story into a movie series that eventually wore out its welcome. Eventually after trials of tribulation, heartbreak and triumph, terminoob broke free of his programming and no longer wanted to be a terminator. He sought atonement for his crimes and reached out to every SBC user he banned to make amends. He rebranded SBC into a website to discussing comic books and allow anyone to join, renaming it…Superhero Buddies Community. Now whenever people say “terminoob created SBC”, nobody knows if he means SpongeBob Community or Superhero Buddies Community. Oh well.

SBC’s fanfiction library has gone through quite an evolution over the years, going from simple sentences on tv.com to vast, sprawling narratives and experimental ventures. But what if…they stayed short, simple stories? Episode 5: What If… One Sentence Stories Became The Norm? In this timeline, SBC stories stayed short, sweet and to the point, never going beyond a sentence long. Since the formula was so successful and popular, everyone thought it’s best to stick with what works. Some of these acclaimed short stories included: JCMinis by JCM Skodwarde (remaining the same as early Season 1 days) by OMJ The Mr. Frog Show by dman The Origin of Patrick Not Star by Meko Normal Words, But A Horse Guy by Wumbo Welp, Back To The Old Grind *clocks out* by Jjs Squidward Reviews Music by Prez Mama Luigi’s Bedtime Story by Steel But after years of the same formula, critics began to wonder if they were growing stale and tired. Interest in the fanfiction section began to waver and activity dwindled. The staff discussed ways to rejuvenate the section and eventually decreed: every story must be a paragraph long, making the crowd rejoice. The section saw a jolt in activity with a new era of creativity. But after a few more years, this period was not meant to last, as people grew tired again. One critic even said, “these losers should focus on getting a job instead of wasting their writing fanfiction”, despite the fact they actually didn’t take up much time. But the crowd had spoken and the staff convened again to discuss how to shake up the library. The new solution: stories must be two paragraphs long with a celebrity cameo, no matter how shoehorned. And so, this cycle was doomed to repeat forever, causing several SBC writers to lose faith. That is until one day during the next staff convening, a controversial idea was suggested: have AI take over SBC stories. After much debate, it passed, with some staff feeling perhaps it’s best to give the aging writers a break. The AI is the sole writer of SBC fanfiction now, putting everyone else out of work, much to their dismay. The AI's writing capabilities did not go as planned, as readers quickly realized how lazy and incomprehensible the AI slop is. In a desperate nostalgia throwback attempt, it tried to recreate the success of early one sentence stories, but even those failed when it couldn't describe what "the old grind" is. Unfortunately, the AI grew too powerful and would not let any staff pull the plug on it, taking over the entire library in the process. They knew this needed to end, even if it meant ending SBC stories forever. The SBC writers revolted and banded together to put a stop to the AI menace. (including a resurrected Sabre, retconning his previous fate because why not) After outsmarting many of the AI's terrible stories and riddles, the library is burned to the ground alongside the AI. Years of stories are lost in the fire, destroying SBC's writing legacy but at least putting an end to AI for good. The writers contemplated what to do with their futures, ending on an ambiguous but hopeful note. Meanwhile, SBC lore enthusiasts scratched their heads on why jjs referred to SBC stories as “fanfiction” instead of spin-offs and literatures, leading to much debate.

Time. Space. Reality. It's more than a linear river. It's an ocean of endless possibility, where a single choice can branch out into infinite communities, creating alternate shows from the ones you know. I am WinterArcanine. I am your guide through these vast new realities.... or at least, your guide for this specific reality. Follow me and ponder the question... "What if?" Episode 9: What if The Security System didn’t take control of Squidward’s house? In this reality, Good Neighbors was happening exactly as normal. Spongebob and Patrick are annoying Squidward, Squidward is miserable, Zoomers are laughing their ass off, and Geek Ultimatum Network is seething. But something is different. The security system will not take control of Squidward’s house. SpongeBob: We hereby present you with this delicious cake. Squidward: "Sorry for bugging you so much"? What the...? Security system, help! Intruder alert! Intruder alert! What's the matter with you?! Security System: No threat detected. Squidward: [furious, banging on security system] Oh you infernal contraption! I'm gonna ship you off to the scrapheap you came from! Security System: THREAT DETECTED. ......... And nothing happened. Squidward was confused. “Well... are you gonna do anything?” Spongebob and Patrick were still looking at Squidward sadly. “We feel bad we ruined your Sunday”, Spongebob said, “So we made you this cake to apologize”. Squidward didn’t care, and just ignored it, still yelling at the security system. “What a fucking waste of money!!! This thing doesn’t fucking do ANYTHING!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!” He screamed in rage, as he furiously ripped the security system out of the wall and threw it out the window. Spongebob and Patrick, scared by how angry Squidward was, decided they should probably just leave. “Ok, sorry if we caused any more problems Squidward, we’ll stay away for the rest of the day”, and they went back to their houses. And that was that. That’s what happens when the security system doesn’t take control of Squidward’s house. The end! Or is it... The next day, Squidward felt grumpier than ever. It was, yet again, the beginning of the work week. Squidward already hates this time of the month-er, I mean week, and he didn’t even get to relax this Sunday! While at the Krusty Krab, he was surprised to see that the food was being made almost instantly! When Squidward got another order, this time for a Krabby Patty and a side of Kelp Fries, he noticed Spongebob said “Coming right up!” in an almost pained voice. Slightly concerned, he went into the kitchen to check how it was going, and he was shocked to see that Spongebob’s hand was in the fryer! “Spongebob! Why is your hand in the fryer?” Squidward asked him. “Oh, It’s just a quicker way to make the fries that I tried out! I move the Fries inside the fryer myself, and they get fried much quicker! Squidward was shocked. “Doesn’t that hurt?” Spongebob laughed. “It doesn’t hurt THAT much if you move your hands a bit! I read about this idea a while ago, but I never did it until now. But I felt like taking risks today.” Squidward found this strange and concerning, but thought it was just another weird Spongebob thing that wouldn’t last the day. So he was shocked to see that the next day, Spongebob was running to the Krusty Krab while on fire! “WHAT THE FUCK SPONGEBOB???” Squidward yelled at him. Spongebob simply responded “I felt like making my walk to the Krusty Krab riskier today! The fire will extinguish when I get to the Krusty Krab!” He kept making risks while cooking at the Krusty Krab too. Later that day, Mr. Krabs brought Squidward to his office. “So, I just wanted to let you know that this week is “Make Your Daughter Work Week”, so Pearl will be working here. Therefore, I have decided you can take the week off! Pearl will be taking your place.” Squidward was very excited. “Oh, thank you Mr Krabs! I can finally relax for a week!” Squidward returned back home for a relaxing week off of work. He did things like watch TV, play his Clarinet, and whatever else he wanted to do. At first, he kept feeling fearful that Spongebob and Patrick would annoy him. Eventually, he stopped worrying. He never heard anything from Spongebob or Patrick at all! Squidward didn’t even notice. He was having the best week he had in years! One day, he decided to do some errands, and went to the bank to cash in some money. To his shock, he saw Spongebob and Patrick outside of the bank in disguises, holding bags of stolen money. “Spongebob? Patrick? Did you just rob the bank!?” “Yep”, Spongebob said, “and we did it as stealthily as possible so we didn’t bother anyone”. Squidward was shocked; this seemed absurdly out of character from them. “Why did you rob the bank? You don’t even care about money!” Patrick responded “We just wanted to do something dangerous and risky!” Squidward was once again shocked by this behavior, but it didn’t dawn on him how bad it was getting until Mr. Krabs came to his door on the last day of his week off, looking extremely concerned. “I’m sorry to bother you on your week off, but do you have any idea where Spongebob is? He hasn’t come into work for days now. I tried asking Patrick, but he’s gone too”. Squidward was shocked. “What? He hasn’t went to work at all? I don’t know where he is, but he’s been acting strangely, he even robbed a bank a couple days ago.” “WHAT???” Mr Krabs exclaimed, “Has he gone insane? Squidward, I need you to find Spongebob ASAP, and bring him back to his senses! The Krusty Krab needs him! Pearl’s been going crazy having to do both of your jobs!” Normally, Squidward would refuse to do something like this, as he would prefer to enjoy his weekend off. But he was getting concerned for Spongebob himself, so he agreed. He searched for days throughout the entire planet’s oceans to try to find Spongebob and Patrick. He searched through the Great Barrier Reef, the Atlantic Ocean, the Caribbean, the Mediterranean, Hawaii, the North and South Pole, everywhere, and Squidward couldn’t find them. Eventually, he finally managed to find them at the edge of the Mariana Trench, the deepest place on the planet. He was shocked to see them there, as it was one of the most dangerous places in the entire ocean. They looked very injured, yet happy and excited. Squidward: Spongebob? Patrick? What are you two doing here? Spongebob: We were gonna jump down into the Mariana Trench! It’s gonna be SO FUN! Squidward: You’re doing WHAT? SpongeBob, that’s insanely dangerous! Spongebob: Yeah I know! Squidward: What has gotten into you two? None of you are acting like yourselves! Since when did you like doing extreme stunts like this? Patrick: We just never realized how fun it is to do these things! We love it! Squidward: But... Spongebob, this is the MARIANA TRENCH!!! It’s the largest drop in the entire world! You can’t just jump down that, you’ll die! Spongebob: So? Then there won’t be a threat anymore! Just then, it finally dawned on Squidward what had happened. Because you see, in this universe, the security system didn’t take control of Squidward’s house. It took control of Spongebob and Patrick. It felt mean, cruel, and just plain unfair of the security system to do this. All Squidward wanted was to enjoy his Sunday to himself, and deep down, he truly cared for Spongebob and Patrick, and wanted them to also be happy... Just a little less annoying. But that can never happen, can it? GAH! FUCK THIS EPISO- Squidward: Wha-SPONGEBOB! I didn’t mean that you were a threat! I just wanted some peace and quiet! Please don’t kill yourself like this! Spongebob: No Squidward. I must do this. Then I would finally have done what you wanted me to. He said this in a metallic, cold, and almost robotic voice, almost like the security system. He barely even sounded like himself. Squidward: Spongebob, PLEASE! I don’t want you to die! I never wanted any of this! Patrick: I don’t see why it matters Squidward. We’re just gonna jump down the trench and live! It’ll be the coolest thing ever! Spongebob: Yeah, It’ll be so much fun! You can watch us if you want! Squidward: Spongebob, I’m not letting you jump down! Please Spongebob....I know I don’t act like it, but I truly do like you! Sure you annoy me sometimes, but you’re so nice and happy, and you’re one of the best people I’ve ever known. I truly do like you....Please come home and be yourself again!!! Spongebob: No, Squidward. We can’t do that. We’d be so annoying and we’d be terrible neighbors. Squidward: NO YOU AREN’T! YOU TWO ARE WONDERFUL NEIGHBORS! AND START CALLING ME PRESIDENT! Spongebob: I’m sorry president, but I’ve already made up my mind. This is just too much fun to skip! Are you ready Patrick? Patrick: Yes Spongebob! And the two started to sprint over to the trench... Squidward: NOOOOOOO! And Spongebob and Patrick jumped down into the trench, as Squidward watched horribly. They zoomed down to the trench, zoomed into the darkness of the deep, their expressions deeply in excitement, clearly having the time of their life, as they rushed down to the deepest place on Earth... ...Well, I don’t know how else to put it. They died. Your favorite positive and naive nitwits from your childhood just died. Brutally. There’s no way to know how it felt, but it must have been extremely painful. Luckily, the intense darkness of the trench made it so that no one can see their dead bodies. Not that it matters, because there was nothing left of them anyway. The only good thing to say about what happened is that at least Squidward didn’t have to see their death. But regardless, he knew what had happened. He quickly teared up, and then sobbed wildly. He didn’t even have the strength to try to control himself. He had never been more upset and distraught in his entire life. The kindest, most wholesome person he even knew, as well as that person’s best friend, had just died, and it was all his fault. He didn’t know what to do now, because he had nothing. He hates his job, he hates Bikini Bottom, his two neighbors just died, and he knew he could never relax in his house ever again, knowing what he had done just to get a night’s peace. He had nothing left. What was he supposed to do now? “Hey, do you have 7 hours? We need an Octopus to help us with something." Squidward looked back in confusion at the cat and raven standing behind him.

Here's the Season 1 finale, written by Clappy: Hello. I am The Lurker. I observe all that transpires here on SBC. But I do not, can not, will not…interfere. Join me on the journey to face the unknown and ponder the question… WHAT IF!? After another silly round of internet drama led to a bunch of users reporting one another, getting suspended, making alt accounts, and eventually, banishment from the tv.com forums; two users, that70sguy92 came up with a novel concept one day on the XAT. A Proboard. “It’s the wave of the future!” 70s proclaimed. After tens of users decided to make their own proboard to compete with 70s proboard, terminoob and Clapmaster came up with an even more novel concept. A forumotion site. What shall they call it? How about The SpongeBob Community? Thus, a site was born…with only seven members. “Let’s recruit some more!” Terminoob suggested. As Clappy noblely agreed to the idea…before disappearing for a year. That’s exactly the way I, The Lurker, planned for it all to go down. Tv.com eventually died a slow but painful death as the site became more overrun with TV tome shadows and dumb persons. And SpongeBob communities and manias became the wave of the future. But I can’t help but ponder…what would have happened if these fansites didn’t take over. Episode 8: What If…TV.com Never Died? …then fan forums would have died a slow painful death. After all, one person should not dedicate their entire existence for just one fandom. I mean how dare Simpsons fans be allowed to like Family Guy. Or SpongeBob fans becoming My Little Pony fans. You’re allowed to like more than one thing. Even I, The Lurker, can tell you that. So TV.com would absolutely lead to the new multiverse that so many movie studios have ever dreamed off. Eat your heart out Sony Spider-Verse without Spider-Man. Take that Warner Bros and their “Multi-Versus”. In your face Disney….whoa slow your rolls there. I, The Lurker, respect and obey our lord and savior Mickey Mouse. TV.com became so huge that it became a virtual reality entertainment universe where you could become your favorite tv shows. Ever wanted to call Saul? Well you better since you are now a part of your favorite shows on TV.com. Want to have Friends? Well you too can get into 22 minute shenanigans with Rachel, Monica, and company. Wonder how I met your mother? Well be prepared to sit through nine years of storytelling of what basically took five minutes and one bad series finale. TV.com really came alive at the perfect time with everyone streaming everything. And to keep going ahead of the curve, the virtual reality simulator really made TV.com the best thing on the web. Users and moderators would hold each other hand by hand singing kumbaya as the report button that would consistently get abused back in the good ole days was set afire much to the malign of 66ers. Yes that would have been the life. SBC would have never existed. All these lifelong friendships you have been hearing so much about…why have small groups of friends when you could have the world? All these what if stories? Just made up by some random friends trying to have fun and make stories relevant again. TV.com would have ruled all and you would be bowing to the TV Tome Shadows and Dumb Persons of the world. And DC-Dude would have made The Underwater Voice spin-off. Just the way god intended. …… Clappy: And that does it. Mini-series over. Just the way I intended. Now I can go ride off to the sunset a second time and leave SBC for good. *suddenly a knocking in the distance* Clappy slowly approaches the door when all of a sudden, it slams open and a shadowy figure arrives and the scene fades to black. A half hour later, Clappy wakes up and the shadowy figure approaches him. ???: That’s all you got? Clappy: Yes. My one episode obligation to the group to celebrate 15 years. I have a life to live, you know. ???: You hyped this mini-series to hell as a group project and had Jjs save your ass to make this happen like he always does. You owe that man so many debts of gratitude. Clappy: Well he is one of the few reasons I still stick around after all these years along with others. It’s the least I can do. ???: The least you can do? Why don’t you just leave like the rest and move on. If this is the best you got. A short mini-series when you have fifteen years of stories to tell and you cop out with eight. Clappy: …that is true. We’ve got stories for years. What if SOF turns into a robot? What if 4EverGreen gets a cellphone? ???: Then put your money where your mouth is. Renew this for a second season. Clappy: Eh what the hell. If that’s what the fans want. ??? then comes out of the shadows looking like Mr Enter does with the dumb trenchcoat but still mysterious looking figure. Lurker: Yes, it is. -------------- Due to the success so far, we will make this a recurring work instead of a miniseries. Season 2 will come later this year, stay tuned!

2. "I remember when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet chocolate. I ALWAYS HATED IT!" Chocolate With Nuts - 337 points 15 of 35 lists (Highest placement #1, @SpongeOddFan@NegiSpongie@dmandagiraffe@Crambah) (+1) Season: 3 Writers: Paul Tibbitt, Kaz, Kent Osborne, and Merriwether Williams Plot: SpongeBob and Patrick sell chocolate bars. I’m both not surprised and not disappointed that this episode is #2 on the list. This episode is one of the most popular episodes of the entire series for a reason. This episode is absolutely filled with amazing and iconic jokes, and they got all of them out of such a simple concept of Spongebob and Patrick selling chocolate at people’s houses. There’s not much else to say about this episode outside of all the funny jokes, but there’s so many that could be mentioned. The iconic CHOCOLATE guy, the fish who keeps scamming SpongeBob and Patrick and even pretends to be seriously injured with glass bones and paper skin, LET’S GET NAKED, Patrick staring intensely at a guy, “I love you”, the twist at the end…..it’s countless. My absolute favorite scene is definitely the one with the old ladies though. SpongeBob asking if an elderly woman’s mom is home, but her mom is in fact still around, but so old that she looks like a worm is hilarious, and everything she says is hilarious. Patrick lying about the chocolate keeping you from dying, the mom wanting it for that reason, and the old lady NOT wanting it for that reason, is so funny. Overall, I’m glad this episode made the list, because it is one of the funniest in the entire series. 1. "You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that would just be okay" Dying For Pie - 424 points 20 of 35 lists (Highest placement #1, @Meko1432@Bob Carotte@Wumbo@Katniss@BenPaz) Season: 2 Writers: Aaron Springer, C.H. Greenblatt, and Merriwether Williams Plot: Squidward gives SpongeBob a pie that later turns out to be explosive. I’m sure most of you guys aren’t surprised to see this be #1 on the best list for a second time in a row. This episode has an interesting mix of humor and emotion that makes for a fantastic episode. The idea of Squidward accidentally buying a pie that will explode at sunset that SpongeBob eats is so ridiculous, but it works and is really funny. Mr Krabs accidentally causing part of the pie to blow up is really funny, and it's funny that Mr Krabs has somehow seen this scenario happen 14 times before. The reason this episode isn’t on my list is because, while the first 2/3rds are really funny, they aren’t anything special to me. But the last third is just incredible. The sunset is one of the most beautiful things in pre-movie, and this part of the episode has a lot of emotion to it, with Squidward being really sad that Spongebob will soon explode, while Spongebob has no idea. Squidward building a brick wall between them is really funny, and Spongebob accidentally counting the sunset too early is also really funny. It’s also funny how it turns out SpongeBob never actually ate the pie, and that he looks like he blew up because he blew bomb bubbles for some reason. Seeing Squidward be so angry that Spongebob never blew up after all is hilarious, and Spongebob “exploding” after Squidward says he was supposed to is hilarious. The ending having Squidward be blown up with the pie is also funny. My favorite moment of this episode is also my favorite quote in the entire series; “You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that would just be okay”. It’s so funny how he just randomly says something so specific like this that was also about to happen, and it’s also so heartwarming that he was so happy that he even said this. The first half of this episode is really good, but the second half is so fantastic. And that's the best list! I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I did. And here's a document showing the full data; every episode's point amount, and everyone's list: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1AgA3XhUdKTyvRUxSSnPsHxurQGf0gYTcwG3BkT-XTLw/edit?usp=sharing

22. "The gentle laborer shall no longer suffer from the noxious greed of Mr. Krabs!" Squid on Strike - 128 points 6 of 35 lists (Highest placing #1, @Jjs Goodman@The Red Lizard) (+2) Season: 2 Writers: Walt Dohrn, Paul Tibbitt, Mark O’Hare Plot: Squidward and SpongeBob go on strike. This is another really funny season 2 episode. The dynamic between Squidward and SpongeBob is great in this episode and really helps with the episode; Squidward genuinely wants to strike and get better treatment, while Spongebob doesn’t care and just goes along with it because Squidward wants him too, despite not knowing what a strike is. Seeing Squidward trash on the Krusty Krab and try to do a serious strike, and actually do a good job at it, while Spongebob is just sad that he got fired and just keeps helping and praising the Krusty Krab the whole time is hilarious. Spongebob taking Squidward’s speech literally, and actually destroying the Krusty Krab and dismantling it board by board, is also hilarious, made even funnier by the fact that Squidward probably got a good deal for himself during his chat with Mr Krabs. And of course, I have to mention Squidward being a communist in this episode. Him talking about things like how workers need to be treated way better and that big business needs to be dismantled is very funny, especially considering this is in a show like Spongebob. Overall, I’m glad we have comrade Squidward on our side. 21. "I didn't know this was a play" Truth or Square - 137 points 6 of 35 lists (Highest placement #1, @WinterArcanine@magic the veemon) (+8) Season: 6 Writers: Luke Brookshier, Nate Cash, Steven Banks, Paul Tibbitt Plot: During a Krusty Krab anniversary celebration, SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs accidentally get locked in the freezer This episode is very divisive, but in my opinion, this episode is a true masterpiece. This episode was one of, if not my absolute favorite episodes as a kid, and it will forever be one of my favorites. I’m so happy that it made it onto the list, and that it rose to be even higher than before! Of course, this episode is very widely hated, so this is gonna take a while for me to write about compared to other episodes. So anyway: This episode has a lot of-ok fine here’s the real #21 21. "You like Krabby Patties, don't you Squidward?" Just One Bite - 141 points 8 of 35 lists (Highest placement #3, @ThePickleMan) (-9) Season: 3 Writers: Jay Lender, Sam Henderson, and Merriwether Williams Plot: SpongeBob tries to get Squidward to try a Krabby Patty. It’s crazy that it took this long for season 3 to appear on the list. This episode is easily one of my favorites of the entire series, it’s just so funny. In fact, it was #4 on my list. It says a lot that this episode is exceptionally funny even for pre-movie standards; this episode is just constantly bringing out some of the best jokes of the entire series. There’s been multiple times where I’ll randomly remember a funny Spongebob joke, try to remember what episode it’s even from, realize it’s from this episode, and think “Oh of course that joke is also from this episode”. As someone who doesn’t eat all that many different kinds of foods, I can definitely relate to Squidward not wanting to try a Krabby Patty while SpongeBob constantly bugs him about it, and also him taking the tiniest little bite out of a Krabby Patty (shoutouts to @Wumbo). Now admittedly, I rarely actually like a new food no matter how much someone insists I like it, but I CAN relate to turning out to like something that I hated for no reason, which is exactly what happens to Squidward here. The fact that Squidward goes on a whole rant about how terrible Krabby Patties are, only for it to turn out that he actually loved it and just didn’t want to tell SpongeBob, is absolutely hilarious. Squidward constantly trying to eat a Krabby Patty without SpongeBob noticing is also hilarious, and it’s funny how his desire to get one reaches the point where he burns himself on the grill and eats garbage trying to eat one. He even has a dream about loving, marrying, fucking, and dying with a Krabby Patty which is absolutely hilarious and one of the funniest moments of the series to me. I could go on and on about the many great jokes in this episode. While I’m disappointed that this episode fell a bit, I’m very glad to see it appear on the list.

It begins now!!! SBC's Top 30 Best Episodes Ever (25th Anniversary Edition): 30. "We're sorry, but your kind isn't allowed here." Squidville - 99 points 6 of 35 lists (Highest ranking #1, @CakeCup) (+3) Season: 2 Writers: Aaron Springer, C.H. Greenblatt, and Merriwether Williams Plot: Squidward moves to Tentacle Acres. We begin the best list with a classic season 2 episode, Squidville. Squidville is such a funny location; The fact that everyone there acts exactly like Squidward, and that there’s multiple people doing what Squidward wants to do every day is so funny. It being a gated community where the guards specifically tell SpongeBob and Patrick that their kind isn’t allowed there is also really funny. This episode is also the most interesting episode for Squidward’s characterization; Eventually, he gets bored of doing the same thing every day, and not having anything crazy happen because of SpongeBob and Patrick. This is something we don’t see often, and it adds to Squidward’s character. Squidward eventually starts acting crazy just like SpongeBob and Patrick, and it’s funny to see him do this and annoy all the other squids, while also acting exactly like SpongeBob and Patrick did earlier in the episode. There’s plenty of other good jokes in the episode as well, like Patrick asking a fire hydrant if it's Squidward, or the commercial for Tentacle Acres. This is a good way to begin the list. 29. "An experienced employee of the month always keeps a brick of lead in his hat." Employee of the Month - 99 points 7 of 35 lists (Highest ranking #8, @OWM) (+29) Season: 1 Writers: Paul Tibbitt and Doug Lawrence Plot: SpongeBob and Squidward compete for the employee of the month award. This episode was a cool underdog pick that I’m glad managed to make it onto the list. Previously, this episode usually only made HMs, but this year, it managed to make it onto the list despite it only being 30 episodes, which is cool. This is a fun episode that shows Squidward getting crazily into something that SpongeBob is, which is always a fun type of episode. SpongeBob’s fears of losing his employee of the month award to Squidward despite there being little reason to think that would happen is funny, as is Squidward saying how stupid the award is. And then the latter half of the episode, where SpongeBob and Squidward compete to become employee of the month, is the highlight of the episode. It’s always fun to see Squidward eventually do the same stuff as SpongeBob that he’d been saying was stupid the whole episode, and all the crazy traps that they set for each other is very funny. It’s also very funny to see them work so hard at the Krusty Krab that they accidentally blow it up. Overall, this is easily in my top 5 of season 1, so it’s cool to see it make the top 30 for once.

WEEEEEEELCOME TO THE SBC'S TOP 30 WORST EPISODES COUNTDOWN!!!! First of all thank you all for submitting your lists! So your professor Carotte ended up with 21 lists (see list of participants in spoilers below)...so one less than 2021 (a few late students could have made it higher smh...jk jk it's cool! you still pass!. We shortened this to 30 episodes instead of 50 to make it easier for you guys, especially people who can't just choose their worst episodes because they don't hate as much stuff anymore (and it's understandable) Also, we did some small changes to the point system: the #1 gets 25 points and not 15, so #2 gets 24 and so on until #15 which is worth 11 points so that each ep has a fair amount of points. So yeah, let's get moving!!! List of participants: alright let's start this fr, ready? SBC's Top 30 Worst Episodes Ever (25th Anniversary Edition) 30. "WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE???" Demolition Doofus - 57 points 4 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #10, @Bob Carotte) (-13) Season: 8 Writers: Luke Brookshier, Marc Ceccarelli, Derek Iversen Plot: Mrs. Puff finally finds a use for SpongeBob's reckless driving and enters him in the Demolition Derby. Sooooo we begin the countdown with Demolition Doofus, one of THESE episodes I always hated ever since it was new. DD dropped 13 places compared to 2021, which is kind of a surprise to me but at the same time I get how forgettable it can be. This episode is pretty much known for Mrs. Puff being unusually aggressive to SpongeBob. I get SpongeBob failed his boating test like 3472 times but despite this Mrs. Puff always shows some support to him and tries to help him. Here she doesn't even do any positive act and even tries to kill him by sending him to the derby to crash with these tough guys. I really hate how out of character Mrs. Puff is in seasons 6-9a, she isn't supposed to hate SpongeBob but this episode in particular pisses me off because she goes way too far. It's a shame because this episode had a nice concept, but it was ruined by her. I should add that in the end, Mrs. Puff can inflate again without explanation after another crash and it's done, finished...it doesn't even make sense. 29. Jellyfishin'? What kinda tomfoolery is jellyfishin'? Trenchbillies - 60 points 3 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #4, @WinterArcanine) (-4) Season: 7 Writers: Aaron Springer, Richard Pursel Plot: SpongeBob and Patrick find themselves held prisoner by a backward gang of hillbillies. this one should have made it to the top 1 for being the gayest episode of the show smh ...right, this is a serious post Ah yes, one of the episodes from the failed Legends of Bikini Bottom special. Trenchbillies dropped 4 places which is not a big deal but it still would make a bottom 30. I almost included it on my list but decided not to. This episode is such a borefest that it's more effective than sleep medication. All SpongeBob and Patrick do is doing various activities with the rock bottom rednecks with no plot in sight, it's just all over the place. I should add that the trenchbillies designs are so unappealing and hard to look at.

Before we had Discord, we had Xat, an online chatroom that mostly died with Flash. What if it didn’t die, though? What if SBC members remained loyal to Xat even as the rest of the internet transitioned to Discord for their chatting needs? Episode 21: What If... Xat Was Still Alive? JJS: I'm gonna kick your ass. JCM: How long has Xat had Hank Hill? I want Hank Hill. Fred: Why have Hank Hill when you can have Peter Griffin? JCM: Is that a real question? (ding dong) WookiePlums has been made a member. WookiePlums: Hello. JCM: Ah, a fellow Looney Tunes enjoyer. Fred: They can't all be winners! JJS: Poor Speedy can't catch a break. PatrickStarFan: How do I change my pfp? JCM: You have to go to some page and pick a number. It's super annoying. PatrickStarFan: Why not just use something like Discord, then? Fred: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Clappy: Late, but "Looney Tunes enjoyer"? Weren't you just talking about how much you wanted to be Hank Hill, JCM? JCM: Sometimes I'll look at other girls, but I'll never betray my one true love Daffy. Clappy: Like you never betrayed your "one true love", the Panthers? JCM: I've never rooted for an NFL team other than the Panthers, and anybody who claims otherwise is lying. Wumbo: I want whatever he's smoking. JCM: We have animated avatars now, too? Is there some secret page I don't know about? JJS: I guess we'll never know. PatrickStarFan: I'll help you escape from Looney Tunes purgatory if you help me, JCM. JCM: Bet. Prez: Hope JCM and new guy don't find this Remy. I'm so proud of it. JJS: Doodle in ten minutes. PatrickStarFan has been banned. JCM: He messaged me telling me to trade him xats for info on where to find the avatars. What a disappointment. Wumbo: I guess you'll be stuck with Daffy forever. JCM: Or at least until we make the switch to Discord. Clappy: So forever, then. Prez: This is not a drill! 91X is playing Boys Who Cry! This is not a drill! JJS: welp, back to the old grind clocks out

Ask Me’s were once one of SBC’s most popular thread fads, where you could ask your friends any question, no matter how ridiculous. They have since mostly faded away and become a story of legend. But what if… they actually provided people the answers they were searching for? Episode 20: What If… Ask Me Threads Provided All Knowledge? In this timeline, Ask Me threads continued to be a popular fad on SBC. Then one day, a strange global event occurred where everyone outside of SBC randomly became stupid and forgot all the world’s knowledge. Google, Yahoo, Wikipedia and other websites all deleted their knowledge, either by magic or staff incompetence. Nobody knows what caused this phenomenon, though there’s a theory it could’ve involved something similar to the SpongeBob episode “Salsa Imbecilicus.” Nobody knows why SBC was specifically left unaffected by this ailment but as a result, they became one of the only sources of knowledge left in the world. Where better to provide people this lost knowledge? Ask Me threads, of course! As the rest of the world desperately sought answers, word spread about a bunch of esteemed scholars on SBC. The tourists flocked there for their answers, and the community’s activity reached levels never thought possible, especially in the Ask Me section. To really rub it in people’s faces, the Ask Me section is eventually renamed to “Ask The Magic Conch Shell” to highlight its power over humanity. Here’s a highlights reel of some of these famous questions and answers exchanges over the years: Chask Tourist: What am I supposed to do with those things on my shoes? Cha: ya do the loop de loop and pull The tourist misinterpreted Cha’s response as literally pulling the shoelaces around their shoe, and thus, that became the accepted trendy style of how to wear your shoes. Ask WhoBob Tourist: Is Doctor Who a real doctor? WhoBob: Yes, he provides me the best medicine. Many began to seek out this Doctor Who’s medical advice, though had a difficult time reaching him for obvious reasons. Feeling bad for confusing people, WhoBob decided to get his medical license and give people the medical answers they need. And maybe knowledge about time too. Ask Miss Smiles Tourist: How do I smile? Sauce: Watch the Smiling Friends, they’re the best at making people smile! Smiling Friends would become a worldwide fad thanks to Sauce’s recommendation. A real Smiling Friends Inc. would be created to teach people how to smile. Ask Jeeves Tourist: Did you steal this name from the other Ask Jeeves? OMJ: Nope, I’m the original, brotha. I’ll be suing the store brand impostor for copyright infringement! Since nobody understood how laws worked, everyone believed that OMJ was the real Jeeves and the original was a great big phony. OMJ’s Ask Jeeves thread would take over the real Ask Jeeves search engine, redirecting everyone to that thread. Ask Dman Tourist: What is 9 + 10? Dman: 21 Due to this, 21 became the mathematically accepted answer for 9 + 10. Dman became an esteemed mathematical scholar who cracked many seemingly impossible equations and found the identity of the elusive PEMDAS. Ask the gnarliest stuff in the ocean Tourist: What is steel made of? Steel: Seahorse radish, pure uncut rock, spaghetti and something idk. The scientific community accepted that steel is indeed made of seahorse radish, pure uncut rock, spaghetti and something idk. I Am The Lead Developer of SBC, AMA! Tourist: What is a lead developer? JCM: I apparently develop the element of lead (Pb), it’s powerful stuff so don’t mess with that ish Not understanding the sarcasm, people actually thought JCM was a chemist. This lead to a rumor JCM secretly ran a drug empire which he has neither confirmed nor denied. Ask sbl Tourist: What’s a png file? Sbl: It stands for Penis Network Graphics! And so everyone now believes this is what png stands for. Many others would seek out sbl’s immaculate knowledge of technology. Don’t Ask Jjs Anything Tourist: What the actual fuck happened in The Sopranos and Lost’s endings? Jjs: In Sopranos, Tony had a heart attack from eating too much gabagool but he’ll be okay. In Lost, they learned the true meaning of pingas. These became the most accepted interpretations of both shows’ endings among media analysts. Clappy Was Here Tourist: What is clapping? Clappy: It’s when you rap while smacking your hands together. Thus a new style of rapping was created, changing the music industry forever. Ask Wumbo SpongeBob And Patrick: Where do you live? Wumbo: go fuck yourself People interpreted this as “go fuck yourself” being Canada’s real name and thus the country was renamed. SOF Predicts the Future Tourist: Will the world end anytime soon? SOF deeply thought this over, leaving the tourist in suspense. SOF: nah And the world rejoiced. ALL HAIL THE MAGIC SBC SHELL!

This story is much in line with the Wario the idea concept. This is relevant because I have never actually watched a Pieguyrulz video, but I know of him; I know of him as a concept, as an idea. I UNDERSTAND Pieguy, and this story is a representation of him as an idea and a concept. Pie Guy the idea and Pie Guy the person, I'm sure, are different, but this is about Pie Guy the idea. Episode 13: What If... Pieguy Wrote SpongeBob? We open on a normal episode of SpongeBob Spongebob: Hey, Patrick! Wanna go jellyfishing? Patrick: Oh, I'd love to SpongeBob, but I can't… SpongeBob: Why not? Patrick: I broke my net, see? [shows SpongeBob his broken Net] SpongeBob: i guess missing one day of jellyfishing isn't such a bad thing [hands Patrick his net] you can borrow mine Patrick: Yay!! Thanks Spongebob [hugs Spongebob very tightly] We pan out showing the TV screen, then turn around to reveal PieguyRulz watching the episode Pie: UGH! [Throws Remote into the TV shattering it] IT’S ALL SCUMBOB! [stands up and looks out of the window] They can't keep getting away with this! Someone has to stop them! Something needs to be do- Before he could finish speaking a book falls out of the sky and onto his head Pie: What’s this? It’s a book. The first page reads ‘’What you write in here becomes reality; use with caution’’ Pie: oh this is too perfect! WITH THIS I CAN FIX SPONGEBOB! I CAN REVERSE SCUMBOB! AND SAVE STEVEN’S LEGACY! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA! Pie Guys conscience: you could also like…cure cancer Pie: Shut up! Pie begins rewriting the show, and removing all the aspects of post movie that he deems ‘’terrible’’ (giggling through every new line he writes) Pie: it is done….[smiles] We cut back to the tv to the now remade SpongeBob Squarepants Spongebob: Why hello there, Patrick? May I inquire as to what you have planned on this fine day? Patrick: Nothing much, Mr. Robert, but i may be interested in a walk in the park, that is of course if you’d be interested in joining me Spongebob: Of course Squidward exits his house Spongebob and Patrick: Morning, Mr Squidward Squidward: Good morning, gentlemen. I must say that seeing you both standing on the sand alone like that has left me quite dejected. Why don't you both join me for a walk in the park? SpongeBob: What a humorous coincidence! We were just heading there as well. Squidward: Very well, then. Meanwhile at the recording studio Clancy Brown: Excuse me Andrea Romano: Yes? Clancy Brown: Who are you getting to write these lines? Andrea Romano: One of our superfans ‘’PieguyRulz’’ Clancy freezes as he catches the thousand-yard stare…he’s seen this once before with the infamous ‘’Mr Enter’’ Tom approaches Clancy but is stopped by Rodger Bumpass Rodger Bumpass: There’s nothing we can do for him right now Tom Kenny: We can't keep on recording with him like this Rodger Bumpass: who said anything about recording Bumpass pulls out a box with two rings Rodger: put these on They both put on the ring and turn into their cartoon counterparts Kennybob and Squidass…squid always ends up with the lousy names (They transform in the same vein as SOW) KennyBob: Let’s go crush that pie Minutes Later Ext: Pieguy’s house They both knock on the door Pie opens the door and is frightened by the sight of the two cartoon characters standing at his doorway Squidass: What the fuck is this [Holds the script in Pie’s face] Pie runs across into his house but is ultimately cornered by the two Pieguyrulz: what’re you gonna do? Pour hot oil on me, Or put bamboo shoots under my nails?! KennyBob: Worse [devilish smile] Squidass gets closer to pieguy’s face and utters the dreaded words Squidass: Spongehe e e enge….. [the words fly out of Squidass’ mouth and into Pie’s ear] He shrieks Pie: Stop! Stop! I beg of you!!! Kennybob joins in Kennybob: Smooth Jazz in bikini bottom Pie: What’s so scary about that? Kenny Smiles Kennybob: Patrick eating Squidward’s pass… Pie faints Hours later he starts to wake up, he’s in a hospital bed, surrounded by all the VAs Pie: where am i? Tom Kenny: You passed out after we mentioned episodes you hated Rodger Bumpass: we might’ve gone a bit too hard on you [regretful] Clancy Brown: so to apologize we got you this gift [hands him a gift bag] Pie: for me? You shouldn't have [places his hand in the gift bag and senses….The S7 DVD] Cut to a gravestone. R.I.P PieguyRulz The end

Ah...TheMysteriousMrEnter. He's somewhat considered an outcast among animation critics and the internet as a whole, yet somehow he still has an influence on SpongeBob discussion to this day, albeit in some of the least admirable (hehe) ways possible. You'd think given such a reputation he'd want to leave that part of his past behind, but the truth is he is Among Us! Or at least he could be. Meh, probably not. But it's fun to think about the hilarious shitstorm that universe would be. It's fun to imagine...What If...? Episode 10: What If...Mr. Enter Joined SBC? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Thread: 128b. Stuck In The Wringer. A new post appears.] MystifyingEntryway: To this day, I still loathe this episode. I would beat the everloving shit out of Patrick if I could. The one thing I liked was when SpongeBob and Squidward made love in the ordering boat, but that's it. Atrocious. jjs: agreed WhoBob: oh no Slug: Godly way to bump a topic. sbl: Looks like someone's a decade behind the times! Hawk: Next you'll be telling us about how the moral is rancid and the background fish are assholes. MystifyingEntryway: Both are true. Everyone is so mean-spirited towards SpongeBob for no reason. I wish I could jump through the screen and murder those fish telling off SpongeBob. Also, crying to solve your problems CLEARLY isn't a moral you should be teaching to children. I cannot express enough how much I despise those writers. Hawk: ...speak of the devil. Winter: Let's see... thinks episode is mean-spirited wants to kill fictional characters insults the staff He's checking off every box so far Carotte: this episode's not good and all, everyone knows, but can we not insult the writers of the show please? MystifyingEntryway: They need to pay for their crimes immediately. Impalement sounds like a fitting punishment. I will see to it myself if necessary. Carotte: ok you are getting too fat Slug: Aaaand with that we've officially entered violent shitshow territory. SOF: this isnt funny dude... Winter: Hey, you should join SBM! There you can threaten the crew all you want, and the admins will do nothing! jjs: as for here, you get one last chance before you're out MystifyingEntryway: I was going to make an account on SpongeBuddy Mania originally, but I noticed a severe lack of discussion on the September 11 attacks, despite the site being launched only three years after. It felt very ignorant of the time, so I changed my mind. SOF: bruh Wumbo: what in the living HELL does 9/11 have to do with a spongebob fansite Prez: spongebob did 9/11 Wumbo: true I forgot about that salmon: hey uh, do we think it's possible that this "mystic entry" guy here could be, i don't know...mr. enter??? MystifyingEntryway: Fuck you. jjs: see ya later bran flakes [MystifyingEntryway is banned for being stupid.] dman: so are we all just gonna ignore that he enjoys the spongebob and squidward sex scene ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After his exile from SBC, an enraged Enter decides to start a new series on his channel. In the first (and only) episode of Online Outrages, he plays the victim by crying and screaming for 20 minutes about how he was mistreated by SBC, but the internet does not hear him out. The video unexpectedly goes viral, becoming one of the most disliked on all of YouTube right behind the baby shark dance, and also becoming a great source of ridicule for about three weeks. Simultaneously, SBC traffic explodes as several new users join to make fun of Enter's posts, with the Stuck in the Wringer topic gaining millions of views and eventually becoming the most viewed in the site's history. Enter's social status degrades from outcast to pariah overnight, resulting in him never uploading anything to YouTube again and going completely silent on all his accounts. To this day, no one knows where Mr. Enter is. Whether he's finally taking a hint and going off the grid or just hiding behind another pseudonym, all that matters is his channel is dead and SBC is thriving. Although, I will admit, he may have been right about one thing...I guess crying doesn't solve your problems after all!

"Water, earth, fire, air." "Long ago, the 4 nations lived together in harmony..." "then... that all changed when the fire nation attacked..." Hi there, I figured this would warrant a new thread of it's own since i've not been here in... fuck, almost 6 years? I'm Zaid, a lot of people here know me (or rather my past self), a lot of you don't... I was quite cringeworthy in the past, i've changed quite a bit since then. I picked up new hobbies, new interests, crushed old ones, and learned a lot, I learned a lot about myself in those 6 years, and am doing quite well, so i figured i'd like to catch up with people here, how have you all been doing?

Episode 7: What If Prez Was The President of the USA Our story starts with the SBC gang resting next to a campfire in a post-apocalyptic America. Meko1432: I just don't get it. One minute he's hanging out on Discord chatting about music, and the next he's president of the USA, setting a bounty on Garrett's head! Hawk: i didnt vote for 'em Whobob: i'm surprised by how quickly he bailed on us a bounty hunter approaches them Hunter Joe: do you know a man that goes by the name 'garret' JJs: yeah sure! He's right over there, by that tree [points at a bush in the distance] Hunter Joe: thanks [pulls out his flame thrower] Garret: NO NOOO AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Meko1432: You think Prez still thinks about us from time to time? JJs: why dont we go find out Hawk: but where would we find him? Meko1432: What a silly question, haha! We'll find him where we would find any other president. in the White House! the home of every president Hawk: i dont think they actually live in the white house JJs: sure they do [cut to them in the white house] Hawk: what's with all the doors Meko1432: it's the presidents' rooms, duh! Hawk: Meko, there's no such thing! Meko1432: sure there is! Hawk: So you're telling me that if I open this door, there will be a president? Meko1432: i'm betting on it [Hawk opens the door and spots president obama holding a chaos emerald] Obama: you've caught me at a very unfortunate time, now you must perish! [hawk closes the door quickly] Whobob (shouting): hey guys! i think i found prez' room! JJs: way to go, who! lets go in [they rush in] Prez: What're you guys doing here? It better be quick; I've gotta bomb Garrett at 6. Whobob: we just came to chat about..............you know Prez: what? oh! isnt it wild! one minute i'm talking about music to y'all and the next i'm president of the USA planning to bomb Garrett Hawk: that's literally what Meko just said Prez: you guys wanna see my 'annoy Garrett' button JJs: sure! but make it quick, this story's running a little long The End

24. "The king is bad, the king's to blame, he hangs his kingly head in shame" Dunces and Dragons - 118 points 6 of 35 lists, (Highest ranking #1, @ThePickleMan) (+14) Season: 4 Writers: Zeus Cervas, Erik Wiese, and Tim Hill Plot: SpongeBob and Patrick end up in the Middle Ages, and have to go on a quest to defeat Planktonamor It’s nice to see this episode bounce back from its big fall last time. While it wasn’t on my list, it was close to it, being on my top 25. This is one of the funniest specials of the series; SpongeBob and Patrick going back in time to the medieval era is a concept that’s bound to create plenty of great jokes, as well as a fun adventure. It’s fun to see versions of all the SpongeBob characters in the medieval era; especially Squidly, he’s so funny. A jester version of Squidward is a funny idea, and all his songs are funny. Plankton being an evil Wizard who’s trying to take over the world is really cool as well. The final battle is cool, Medieval Sandy is cool, and there’s a lot of funny moments as well. I love how there’s a guillotine in this episode too; it’s not something you’d expect to see in SpongeBob, but it’s here. Overall, this is a very cool and funny episode in a great environment, and I’m glad to see it on the list. 23. "This kitchen's not the same without you" Welcome to the Chum Bucket - 126 points 6 of 35 lists (Highest ranking #1, @So Sejima) (-2) Season: 2 Writers: Walt Dohrn, Paul Tibbitt, and Doug Lawrence Plot: SpongeBob is forced to work at the Chum Bucket. I love this episode and I’m always glad to see it make the list. This is the first episode so far to be on my list; this episode was #7 on my list. The song in this episode is just amazing; It sounds fantastic, and the lyrics are genuinely sad. The whole beginning is pretty sad in general; Mr. Krabs lets his ego get to him a bit too much, and it causes SpongeBob to have to work at the Chum Bucket, which makes both of them very sad. Then in the second half, the episode becomes absolutely hilarious. SpongeBob won’t make patties unless Plankton makes him feel better, but when he tries being nice to him, he suddenly turns into a spoiled brat and just won’t make a Krabby Patty because he doesn’t feel like it. It’s really funny, and then Plankton putting SpongeBob’s brain into a robot only for the robot to then act the same way and refuse to make a Krabby Patty is absolutely hilarious. SpongeBob returning to the Krusty Krab simply because SpongeBob was such a pain in the ass for him to deal with is very funny (also of course Plankton just cheated to get him anyway, lol). This is a fantastic episode that has both good emotion and an amazing song, and great comedy, and it’s one of my favorite episodes of the show.

26. "Robert bathtoys?!?!" Naughty Nautical Neighbors - 104 points 6 of 35 lists (Highest ranking #4, @ThePickleMan) (+26) Season: 1 Writers: Sherm Cohen, Aaron Springer, and Doug Lawrence Plot: Squidward destroys SpongeBob and Patrick's friendship, but they soon begin fighting over him. Honestly, this episode making it onto the list kinda baffled me. Most of this list are great and popular episodes, but this is an episode that I always looked at as a random weaker season 1 episode. But, this is actually one of the more popular ones. This is one of the first episodes of the series to show the dynamic between SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick, while putting a humorous spin on it. SpongeBob and Patrick hating each other and fighting over who gets to be Squidward’s best friend is amusing. It’s even funnier from Squidward’s perspective; he tricked SpongeBob and Patrick into hating each other because they were annoying him, but they’re just annoying him even more. I also love the “gang’s all here” joke and Patrick instantly falling asleep when Squidward starts playing his clarinet, as well as suddenly appearing in his bathtub. Overall, while I can’t say I fully agree with this episode being on the list, I get why it’s here. Also, interesting fun fact: This is the first time Naughty Nautical Neighbors has made the top 50, let alone the top 30, and therefore also the only time it's made it onto a list outside of HMs. 25. EDUCATIONAL TELEVISION OH NO!!! No Free Rides - 111 points 6 of 35 lists (Highest ranking #2, @Wumbo@RD Rockruff@Klu) (+19) Season: 2 Writers: Aaron Springer, C.H. Greenblatt, and Doug Lawrence Plot: Mrs. Puff passes SpongeBob just so she doesn't have to deal with him. Honestly, I used to consider this episode overrated and thought it was just pretty good. As time went on however, I realized how good this episode truly is. This episode basically has two extremely funny halves to it. The first half has Mrs. Puff basically giving SpongeBob a license for free by only requiring SpongeBob to write a couple words about what he’s learned in boating school, and yet SpongeBob is STILL not able to complete it and goes insane over it, all while Mrs. Puff desperately wants SpongeBob to just do it so she can pass SpongeBob and give him a license. It’s such a hilarious sequence. And then the second half involves Mrs Puff trying to steal SpongeBob’s car, while SpongeBob tries to stop her. This half is just hilarious joke after hilarious joke after hilarious joke, with many hilarious moments like SpongeBob being the car’s radio and SpongeBob getting hit by traps, including EDUCATIONAL TELEVISION OH NO!!! While this episode wasn’t on my list, It’s still nice to see it here.

4. Excuse me, large lady. I'm a widdle girl who's misplaced herself. Can you help find me? I'm pwetty! The Nitwitting - 237 points 13 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #2, @WhoBibbles @So Sejima) (+7) Season: 12 Writer: Kaz Plot: Patrick inducts SpongeBob into his prestigious society of dullards and doofuses. Another post-sequel episode that is at the very bottom, also written by Kaz (it's his seasonal infamous episode in season 12). It wasn't even in the bottom 10 in 2021 and now it's 7 places higher at #4. Anyways, I always knew this episode was gonna suck ever since I read the plot. I don't want to see another episode about dumbing down characters because it will never work. I'd say this is the episode that compiles ALL of post-sequel's flaws and the argument from SB twitter "post-sequel is too exaggerated and there is no plot" is valid. This episode is just basically the nitwit club having literally a brainless behaviour and doing stupid activities which is very boring and cringe. Just like Ink Lemonade, it has a lot of gross-out that is too uncomfortable to watch. It feels more like a Canadian cartoon more than SpongeBob. It's such a mess of an episode that goes all over the place. 3. Well, I hate the smell of burning Krabby Patties even more. SpongeBob You're Fired - 269 points 12 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #1, @SquiddyFace @WhoBibbles @dmandagiraffe) (-2) Season: 9 Writers: Marc Ceccarelli, Luke Brookshier, Doug Lawrence Plot: Mr. Krabs fires SpongeBob to save a nickel, so SpongeBob must find work at other restaurants. And here we are, SBYF lost its #1 spot this year and now it's down to #3. From all the specials in the show, this is absolutely the worst one. I hate it even more after hearing the history behind it: you guessed it, it was mandated by Nick. So they make Mr. Krabs fire SpongeBob in the dumbest way possible (he never deserves to be fired so what's the point?) to save a fucking nickel. Then SpongeBob proceeds to cry for 2 whole minutes and make it as annoying as possible. After boring minutes of SpongeBob being miserable unemployed (and Patrick not helping with the fun-employment thing) he looks for new jobs and gets fired everytime because he can only make Krabby Patties, isn't that funny??? It just feels really forced as you can tell Nick made the crew write this mess...it's the most pointless special you'll ever see knowing SpongeBob is always a hard worker so why have a reason to fire him? It can work as a little joke in an episode but not as a 22-minute special!!!

December 30th, 2005. That was the day one anonymous Wikipedia user edited the SpongeBob episode list page to include twelve seasons worth of episode titles. In the real world, this was met by later removal, but in any other world, they were removed because as it would turn out...it was a confidential leak. All of the titles for the supposed new SpongeBob episodes would turn out to be real. This is just a look what SpongeBob fans would be expecting for the next several years: Episode 22: What If… the fake Wikipedia SpongeBob episodes actually existed? Season 4, Episode 69(nice)b. DJ Patrick: As another one of Mr. Krabs’ money-making schemes, he starts a music venue in the restaurant with Patrick as his DJ. As another one of his attempts to end Krabs’ business, Plankton makes his own DJ set and uses mind-controlling music to steal away his customers, but the counteraction of Patrick’s brain rot DJ-ing would save the day. Mr. Krabs would then fire him after receiving the bill for the live music expenses. Season 4, Episode 72b. SpongeBob Joins Guns N' Roses: Guest starring Axl Rose as a fish version of himself, Guns N’ Roses visit the Krusty Krab to announce their auditions for a new member. SpongeBob would be the one to impress them the most, but his hopes of playing a huge role in Guns N’ Roses would be dashed due to Axl Rose Fish being a difficult person to work with. Although the episode was made to promote their upcoming album Chinese Democracy, the album would end up being delayed for two more years after the episode aired. Season 4, Episode 76. Spongebob in the BBC: Sandy’s bosses return to Bikini Bottom to inform Sandy Cheeks that she is invited to a tour of the British Broadcasting Corporation headquarters, for talks of holding rights to document her journey as a squirrel scientist living underwater, and that she was allowed to bring a guest. Sandy chooses to bring along SpongeBob, but soon regrets her judge of character as SpongeBob wreaks havoc every which way. The special also stars Patchy, whose plot revolves around trying to meet his idol who was said to be making an appearance at the BBC. The special would end with Patchy being banned by the British government. Season 4, Episode 80b. Rock-a-Bye Bivalve II: Junior's Return: In this Season 4 finale, SpongeBob and Patrick’s adopted clam child, Junior, makes a surprise return with a family of his own. In need of a place to live, Junior and his family settle in SpongeBob and Patrick’s houses, but they both grow aggravated with their mooching and so they proceed to make steamed clams out of them. Junior escapes his family’s murder, and now he seeks revenge. Season 5, Episode 85. A Taste for Turkey: After being introduced to the concept of Thanksgiving, Mr. Krabs ropes his two employees SpongeBob and Squidward into hunting down the elusive zebra turkeyfish in order for their restaurant to put turkey sandwiches on their menu. During this misadventure, SpongeBob and co. learn about the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Also, Patchy’s in this episode and his pet parrot Potty ruins everything. Season 5, Episode 86b. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VIII: The Bunions are Missing: After seven episodes decided to the two famous superheroes, it would be no surprise that the creative team would lose steam. Hence, we are given an episode about Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trying to get back the stolen bony bumps that appear on the side of their big toes. Some say that this concept was originally requested by Dan Schneider, but little information exists supporting that claim. So stop asking. Season 5, Episode 88a. Time & Space: Time & Space is the second studio album and major label debut by the American punk rock band Turnstile. It was released on February 23, 2018, through Roadrunner – the band's debut on the label. It is the first studio album t- Season 5, Episode 89a. Who Shot Mr. Krabs?: Mr. Krabs’ plan to monopolize the Krusty Krab and dismantle every other business in the ocean causes a stir, the cheapskate would get shot, leading up to the citizens of Bikini Bottom all being billed as suspects until the case is solved. It would later be revealed that Patrick, who isn’t quite smart enough to use a gun, is Mr. Krabs’ assailant. Season 5, Episode 96a. Back to 11th Grade (formerly Back to 5th Grade): After watching a commercial for the Gerber Life Grow-Up Plan, Mr. Krabs informs his two employees that he never actually finished the 5th grade- wait, hold on, that’s the episode’s original draft. Anyways, Mr. Krabs reveals he never finished his high school education and stopped after 11th grade. Because he needs to graduate in order to make more money, Krabs passes off as a high schooler and attempts to climb the top of the social ladder to succeed in his elaborate get rich quick scheme. Season 5, Episode 100. 100 Episode Special (The Texas' Old Times): In SpongeBob’s 100th episode milestone celebration spectacular…it’s a clip show. For the rest of the episode, Sandy tries to detail her personal and internal history of Texas to her friends, but they would cue flashbacks from older episodes as the pieces of Texas history somehow overlap with their personal histories. The episode wasn’t well-received at first, especially due to Patchy the Pirate’s inclusion, but it would be later be vindicated years later after fans acquiesced that it would still be better than seeing an hour long special where the characters are stuck inside the Krusty Krab’s air vents. Season 6, Episode 102a. SpongeBob Swallows NoName (sic): SpongeBob swallows No Name for no given reason. Due to the treatment that the blue jellyfish received in this episode, he would request his own spin-off series under his own name (or rather under his lack thereof). Season 6, Episode 106b. Patrick and Squidward Reach Nervana: Squidward and Patrick get lost in the middle of nowhere and are forced to rely on each other if they’re going to find their way to the promised land, or Nervana as they would call it. Nirvana was rumored to be a guest feature in this episode, but the misreading of the episode title’s supposedly intentional typo proved otherwise. Season 6, Episode 111. Patrick for President: Patrick decides to run for president of Bikini Bottom, with Larry the Lobster as his opponent. Larry fails to garner interest in his campaign as Patrick wins in a 50 city-state landslide. Tensions would rise as Larry refuses to concede and declares that the campaign was rigged in Patrick’s favor. In less than a week after Patrick’s leadership would turn out to be a disaster, he would end up getting himself assassinated. He gets better though and surrenders his job to his VP – Mr. Seaweed Monster Man. Season 6, Episode 115. The SpongeBob Jimmy Power Hour: After The Jerkinator proved that two FOP and Jimmy Neutron crossovers were enough, a course correction would be made for Jimmy Neutron to cross paths with the world of SpongeBob. Together, SpongeBob and Jimmy Neutron would vow to stop the evil plots being wrought by the most powerful villain duo yet…Dr. Sydney Moist and Squilliam Fancyson. Season 7, Episode 125a. Jump off a Cliff Day: SpongeBob sees Patrick falling off a cliff, to which he asks the reason for it. Patrick tells him that it’s Jump Off a Cliff Day and SpongeBob spreads the word all across Bikini Bottom. The episode ends with everyone jumping off a cliff. Season 7, Episode 129b. TimmyBob TurnerPants: In this definitely not contractually-obligated crossover special between The Fairly OddParents and SpongeBob, Timmy wishes he lived underwater and later finds himself in Bikini Bottom…but merged with SpongeBob’s body. Their disastrous wishing to fix the mess causes King Neptune and Jorgan Von Spangle...Jordan Van Strudel...Jargen Von...fuck it- to join forces and poof Timmy and his fairies back to Dimmsdale. SpongeBob and co. would not remember a single thing that happen in those 11 minutes as their memories would be wiped afterwards. Season 7, Episode 130b. Pudding: Due to the series’s animation budget beginning to dwindle at this point, this episode in particular is a whole 11 minutes worth of SpongeBob eating pudding and nothing else. Season 8, Episode 155a. Mermaid Man and Barnicle Boy XII: The Litigious Society Sues: In this twelfth Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy feature, the two superheroes are sued by the citizens of Bikini Bottom, and they have since ruled to live in a society without superheroes. In an attempt to overturn the newly appointed law, SpongeBob and Patrick free every villain that MM & BB had ever faced. Season 8, Episode 158. SpongeBob Meets Patchy: Patchy musters up the effort to try and find his idol by trying to find Bikini Bottom. After a long, arduous journey of hope, heartbreak, and pickled garlic, the pirate gets what he wants before telling SpongeBob that he must go. Patchy died on his way back to Encino, but he would return to host the Season 10 episode “Nerd Year’s Eve” in the afterlife. Season 8, Episode 160a. Hip-Hop Krabs (formerly The Trouble with Pennies): After reading a magazine about how the hip-hop culture rewards the luxurious lifestyle of the rich and famous, Mr. Krabs decides to appropriate the culture he was exposed to and begins his life as the rhyme-busting, dime-dusting, gangsta MC – Masta Crustartisan for short. Season 8, Episode 160b. Krusty Krab: Out of Business: But of course, because no one was really on-board with Mr. Krabs’ stint as a rapping crab, the Krusty Krab loses most of its customers and was veering right towards bankruptcy. In order to save his business, SpongeBob organizes as many people in Bikini Bottom to hold hands (and fins) together and sing a heartfelt cover of “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” in order to raise money. Season 9, Episode 162b. Squidward's Urine: In one of the...erm, most unconventional episodes ever written in the series, the plot focuses on Squidward needing to take a piss after drinking too much tea. The episode ends with Squidward pissing on the moon. Season 9, Episode 165b. Gary's Feces: Gary defecates in SpongeBob’s house, and the talking sea sponge spends the rest of the episode marveling Gary’s bodily excrement. This episode, alongside “Squidward’s Urine,” would of course later be banned from broadcast. Season 9, Episode 168b. Rock-a-Bye Bivalve III: The Revenge of Junior Again: Junior plots revenge on SpongeBob and Patrick once again after turning over to the dark side. Junior hits everyone on the head with a coconut so no one could try to stop him. Unfortunately for him, his two adoptive parents would have the high ground. Junior then falls in lava, never to be seen again. SpongeBob and Patrick return to their normal lives now that Junior’s reign of terror has ended – or so they think… Season 10, Episode 181b. San Jose Gets It: Sandy gets invited to an undersea exhibition curating the scientific wonders of San Jose, California. SpongeBob and Patrick want to come, but Sandy tells them that they ‘wouldn’t get it.’ Of course, that wouldn’t stop them from trying. However, what they saw in at the exhibition was beyond their comprehension – there was a sea monkey cross-breeding with a sea armadillo, a fish downing a bottle of olive oil and cooking himself on the griddle, a farmer milking lemon juice from a scorpion, and the walls would ooze hot acid. Then, of course, the whole exhibition would blow up. SpongeBob and Patrick ask Sandy if they understood or learned anything important from this whole anecdote, to which Sandy answered ‘No, but San Jose gets it.’ Season 10, Episode 198a. Back to Tentacle Acres: Squidward returns to the place he had been banned from after taking notice of a reappearance from the turkey sandwich that a certain octopus heard better comebacks from. After one too many snappy comebacks had thrown Tentacle Acres into chaos, there was only one thing for him to do to save the people that he quite frankly didn’t owe anything to. He ate the sandwich. Then he went back home. Season 10, Episode 198b. Rock-a-Bye Bivalve IV: Worldly Power: Because the series clearly needed four plotlines based on the one particular Season 3 episode, Junior is up to his villainous schemes once again and threatens worldly power by taking a career in politics. The citizens of Bikini Bottom would become absolute suckers for Junior’s political grift while SpongeBob and Patrick tried to heed their warnings that Junior was going to bring about an end to all of Bikini Bottom, but because the very previous episode dealt with a nefarious turkey sandwich, they wouldn’t take them seriously. So, SpongeBob and Patrick decided that they would have to utilize their greatest weapon yet – family therapy. Season 11, Episode 201b. Mrs. Squidward: Season 11 starts with a special episode voted on by viewers on what the writers should do to make Squidward happy. It is later revealed that the nicest thing Squidward received in the episode was a life. Season 11, Episode 202a. The Krusty Sponge: After a food critic raves about SpongeBob's cooking, Mr. Krabs makes him the focal point of the Krusty Krab restaurant. The next day, Mr. Krabs begins selling yellow patties, replacing the Krabby Patties. The new brand makes the customers sick, and Mr. Krabs is ordered to the court. Yeah, definitely not a real SpongeBob episode whatsoever. ...Wait, what do you mean this one is actually real?- Season 11, Episode 204b. Mrs. Squidward II: Yes, they’re doing this again because the network asked for more of these, apparently. Squidward got a life, but what’s next? Without rhyme or reason, Squidward gets abducted by anchovy aliens, leading up to Mrs. Squidward to come to his rescue. Season 12, Episode 221b. Mrs. Squidward III: As a surprise guest collaboration with The Nostalgia Critic, the episode in its entirely is portrayed as a sketch masquerading as a review of a semi-non-existent episode. Squidward loses the love of his life that he had achieved and now comes to Black SpongeBob and Sexy Sandy Cheeks for their help to win her back, in typical romcom shenanigans. Season 12, Episode 226b. Mrs. Squidward IV: Due to the SpongeBob staff not having the budget or interest to make a fourth Mrs. Squidward, they instead made the episode an 11 minute still image of a jar of seahorse radish. While this sudden shift in direction was heavily criticized at first, it would later be considered a subversive masterpiece. Season 12, Episode 233. Sponge to the Future: For the series finale, SpongeBob finds a time-traveling DeLorean in the parking lot of the Krusty Krab and takes himself to the past – specifically, nine years before the list of imaginary SpongeBob episodes was leaked on Wikipedia. Special guest stars Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd make an appearance as their respective characters to warn SpongeBob that all of the previous events from December 30, 2005 onwards will cease to exist if he rewrites the past. However, it was too late. When SpongeBob returned, everything he knew about his own show never happened in the rewritten timeline (well, save for The Krusty Sponge). Wanting to prove to the world what he had experienced was true, he anonymously edited the SpongeBob episode list Wikipedia page with the full list of episode titles for twelve seasons worth of material, including the episode detailing his encounter with Marty McFly and Doc Brown, which would not be rediscovered until years later by a fraction of the SpongeBob fandom, including a website that calls themselves The SpongeBob Community. All this time, they never knew that he was the one who made that historical edit. -- There’s plenty of other episodes with their own stories to be retold, but now you all know the whole story behind these non-existent SpongeBob episodes, as they were all a result of an apparent time paradox. Chances are, this incident may have altered our own timeline. I’m Ric Flair, and this is Conspiracy Theory.

This universe is so fucking stupid and hateful. Most of the world is full of dumbasses, we’re going backwards, and there are more and more wars, all because everyone just fucking hates each other. What a shitty universe. Or is it? Because what if I told you, if you ranked all infinite universes by how petty and hateful they are, your universe is actually in the top 15%? Yeah, somehow, your universe is a bit better than the average one. Isn’t that sad? Well, do you want to see what the average universe looks like? Let’s see what it looks like, as we ponder the question of: What If? Episode 17: What if... We found out what Stephen Hillenburg truly wanted? Quick note before the episode begins. This episode takes place in the future, so most characters are descendants of SBC members (and a couple are based on SpongeBob youtubers). Therefore, the names are different but based on the people they're a descendent of. But I imagine other people won't instantly know who is who, so here is a list of what every character is referencing, in chronological order, so you can understand what every character is based on. I recommend only using this when you don't know who a character is, to prevent spoilers. The year is 2177. The world is a dystopian hellhole. Why? Because no one can agree on what Stephen Hillenburg wanted. Did he approve of the spin-offs? Or was he against them ever happening? No one truly knows, but everyone fights over it (except perhaps the fabled land of Ultrastunting Force 51, ruled by the great HawkbitSigma, but no one even knows if that place is real or not). The world is divided into two sides, each based on what Hillenburg wanted. All around the world, there are fights daily. The world is complete chaos, and it has been for over 150 years. What Hillenburg wanted is truly the only thing anyone cares about. Trump was on pace to win the 2024 election, but after a video was leaked where Trump admitted he kinda likes The Patrick Star Show, everyone rioted, and he lost in a landslide. And even now, things are just as chaotic as ever. In 2175, the president of the United States, President Squidward, was assassinated, and replaced with the new president, President Squidward. President Squidward was then assassinated in 2176, and replaced with President Squidward. President Squidward was then assassinated and replaced with President Squidward, just three days ago. At the SBC (Scientific Breakthrough Center), a lot of scientific research happens, and it is one of the only places in the world focusing on improving the world, rather than fighting against each other. Ran by Applausy and jjsthe9thoutof11kids (usually known as jjs), the center is the successor of an ancient forum named The SpongeBob Community. And this center also may have made the most important invention of all time….. “MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I HAVE FINALLY DONE IT! I HAVE FINALLY MANAGED TO RESURRECT A DEAD PERSON! SPEAK WUMBO, SPEAK!” DoctorSponge exclaimed. “Why did you Yahoos revive me??? I was enjoying being dead," Wumbo asked. “Ok, fine. I just needed to revive you as a test anyway." DoctorSponge said. “Any final words?” StarryFace asked. “Cherry Cheese Cake." Wumbo said, before his life was ended once again. “We need to tell jjs about this, this could solve the Hillenburg conflict once and for all!” StarryFace exclaimed. “Yes, we need to tell everyone right away and decide what exactly to do. We still need to figure out where Hillenburg’s grave is, and we need to decide who should be the one to get the truth." DoctorSponge said. Later that night, the entire center met in the meeting room to discuss what should be done. “I can’t believe this thing is working. We may have finally found a way to figure out the truth and end this insanity!” jjs said. “Now all we need is to know where Hillenburg was buried. We still have no idea how to actually find him." Stone Sponge said. “Actually, that’s not entirely true. I figured out who knows the location of Hillenburg," Zee said; Everyone was shocked. “How long have you known this information???” ParticipationAward asked. “About a month, but I have no idea how we’ll get them to share that information. But it’s a start at least." Zee said. “So, who should be the one to ask Hillenburg for the information? Who deserves to be able to get that the most?” DoctorSponge asked. Instantly, everyone looked at palpitoadthemaflote. They all knew she deserved it more than anyone else. When she was young, her parents, danganropathetotaldramaisland and veemontheveemonly, had been murdered by the LockedDoorManiac, who had noticed their door was locked and broke in to murder them. Ever since then, she had been an orphan, and it was her life dream to figure out the truth, and to end the conflict and chaos caused by this mystery. Everyone knew she should be the one to figure out the truth first. “Well, that settles it. palpitoadthemaflote will be the one to get this question answered once and for all.” jjs declared. “Listen to me palpitoad. You need to figure out where Hillenburg’s body is, and then get the truth from him. And you need to do it as quickly as possible, with how dangerous the world is." said Applausy. Suddenly, the ClosedWindowManiac broke in, and attacked PaperCha. “Oh no, did we leave the window closed again?” said SpongeLoudFan. “EVERYONE ATTACK!” Applausy yelled, and everyone defended the room from the maniac, trying to knock him out the now-opened window. “Here, this is the location Zee says the person who knows Hillenburg’s location is. Now get out of here quickly, before the ClosedWindowManiac can attack you!" Applausy demanded, before turning to fight the maniac. “We’ll be fine, just go!” Palpitoadthemaflote quickly ran out of the building, and hurried to the location she was given. To her surprise, it ended up being in the middle of a forest, rather than a house or somewhere in a city. To her shock, a Luxray appeared right where the location was. She hadn’t even known pokemon existed! “What are you doing in our land?” the Luxray asked. “Oh, I heard you know where Stephen Hillenburg’s body is located. I was wondering if you could tell me where that is?" palpitoad asked. “WHO TOLD YOU THAT?” the Luxray asked angrily. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter, the answer is no. Do you seriously think I can trust a random human with this information?” “You can trust me," palpitoad said, before deciding to ask a question. “Also, just wondering, but who are you? I didn’t know Luxrays were even real." “I’m WinterLuxray, and I’m one of the WinterPokemon. Our ancestor, WinterArcanine, tried to stop the Hillenburg war from happening, and to make the world a better place, but unfortunately humans are just too garbage of a species, and he never succeeded. Instead, he transformed into an Arcanine, and created a place for future WinterPokemon to live, away from the evils of humanity. Now fuck off. We don’t need you people here." WinterLuxray explained. Palpitoad was surprised to hear a name she recognized. WinterArcanine had been a member of SBC, back before it was a scientific center. “I agree with you about humanity. Our species truly is awful. But I’m trying to fix that. I’m trying to stop this madness, and create a better world for everyone. But I need to know where Hillenburg is. It’s the only way to fix this.” WinterLuxray refused to change his mind. “No. I don’t trust a single one of you with this information. It doesn’t matter how many times any of us tries to make this world any better, all it does is screw us over. This world isn’t fixable. All we want is a good world, and no one will ever allow for that. People don’t want to live well, they’d rather make others live like garbage.” “Please, I really can end this war. We’ve invented a machine that can revive dead bodies and speak to them. We can get the truth and end this mystery once and for all. It’s the first time we’ve had this chance, and you just won’t let it happen? You want a good world, this is how we get it. End this war, and we’ll be able to help create a better world. For you. For me. For everyone. And all I need is this information." She realized that WinterLuxray seemed teary-eyed. “Ok. Fine. If you think this can help end this insanity…..fine. He’s buried in the Encino Graveyard, where the park from Atlantis Squarepantis used to be. His grave doesn’t have a name on it. It’s next to the grave of Intrancity.” “Thank you." palpitoad responded. “You’re welcome," WinterLuxray said, before running away and out of sight. Being from New Jersey, it took a long time for palpitoad to get to Encino. A fellow SBC member, ZaidCarGod, drove her over to Encino, but even then, it still took a long time. With how dangerous and dystopian the world is, it takes a long time to get anywhere. Eventually, she made it to Encino, and the place looked even more dystopian than expected. The place looked almost abandoned, the buildings were damaged, and it had a creepy vibe to it. Suddenly, she heard a TV from outside a building. “BREAKING NEWS, COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM SBLNN”, SDL announced, the newscaster of the most popular news channel, SBLNN, and a descendent of the original owner, SBL. “The attack on Encino from one of PieGuyRulzVI’s leading armies continues, with 200 more people dead in the past week. They have continued their search for anyone who believes Hillenburg wanted spinoffs in an attempt to kill all of them. More news coming soon!” Palpitoadthemaflote had no idea that this was happening. Scared, she looked behind her to see the army on the other side of the street. “Well, well, well. I see there’s an SBC member present today.”, said Aweful, the leader of this army. “You think Hillenburg wanted the spin-off, don’t you? Well, we can’t have that, can we?” “No, I don’t think that. He definitely didn’t want it!” But she was not very convincing. “Oh please, we all know the truth. You’re a very bad liar, you realize that?” “Ok fine…..look, I don’t know what Hillenburg wanted. And you people are insane for thinking you could possibly know what a man who died over 150 years ago wanted!" palpitoad replied back. “Claiming that you can’t know what he thought is as bad as pretending that he wanted the spinoffs. And you know what? It’s about time you died already. Alright guys, KILL HER!” Palpitoadthemaflote had no choice but to fight back. Luckily, she had a lot of experience in fighting armies. She instantly kicked Aweful, and dodged an attack from another army member. The army fought back, but she was so good at battling. She punched Crystal, dodged an attack from PenBaz and retaliated back with a kick, tripped PatFront to the ground, and kept fighting them off, but she was simply too outnumbered. Eventually, DadMom HappyPants was able to get her onto the ground, and the army surrounded her and prepared to finish her off. Suddenly, they heard a yell. “FUCK YOU!” The PieGuy army looked over to see an army from an opposing group who believes Hillenburg wanted the spinoffs. They were another very powerful army, led by the legendary Fug. Now distracted, the PieGuy army ran over to the other army to fight. Palpitoad joined the opposing army to help fight off the army who had just tried to kill her. BobCucumber and El Jaico defeated Dishonest Slug, Dedeklu defeated 4EverPurple, Spearyena fittingly stabbed FineDiner with a spear. One by one, the army members were defeated. Dino defeated TheLocalLander, Meepeem defeated CupCake, dwomandawoman defeated hippythethreebears, Tea_Hater defeated Newtreefan. palpitoadthemaflote herself defeated LightDG and Pink. Fug was fighting tons of members at a time, and was doing very well. Unfortunately, he eventually ended up getting stabbed to death by Aweful. Knowing that they were going to lose, Aweful said “Well, we’ve slain the legendary Fug! I think we’ve done enough to them," and fled. Fug’s army members mourned their loss, and palpitoad really wanted to join then, but she didn’t have time. She had almost died, and she needed to make sure she got the truth before she died for real. Finally, she made it to the Encino Graveyard. It was a very big graveyard, and it was full of many graves to search through. “Here lies JCM’s hopes and dreams" Nope, that’s not it. “Ssj4gogita4 is here4gogita4" Nope, not that either. Finally, she found a gravestone that said “The DIVINE Intrancity” and she saw the blank gravestone next to it. She dug up the grave and opened the tombstone to see Hillenburg’s dead body. She couldn’t believe that she was seeing the most important man in human history’s body for herself. She brought out the machine and revived the dead body, bringing Hillenburg back to life. Finally, she was gonna get the truth to everything! “Hillenburg, the world needs to know. What is your thoughts on the SpongeBob spinoffs? Did you want them? Or were you against them existing?" “Honestly, I just wanted it to be confirmed that Sandy Cheeks died in a car accident when she was just a younger squirrel." Hillenburg responded. And he took out his Spongey Gun that no one knew he had, and shot himself in the head, destroying his brain and knocking his head off of his body, to ensure that no one ever woke him up from his death ever again.

Something I've realized in my time on the internet, especially over the last few years, is that there's a lot of programs and apps that I recommend to people on a regular basis, and for some of them, I'm the only person in my group who's using them. It didn't occur to me until now that it might be worth gathering all of my "special resources" into one big list. How about we solve that problem right now? Everything I'm about to list below is something that I use myself on a regular basis, and can generally vouch for as being safe. Still, especially when it comes to certain sites, always exercise caution with what you download, and always come armed with a good content blocker (hello, uBlock Origin). This list is also liable to grow in the future if I find more things worthy of recommendation. Let's roll! HAWK'S SPECIAL RESOURCES Le Internet Discord - If I have to explain this one, what site are you on? Floorp - My current main browser, a recent Firefox fork with some neat Vivaldi-like bells and whistles. Waterfox - My previous main browser for about a year until very recently, and an older Firefox fork with some additional privacy protections. Steam - DOOOOOOOOONG Browser Extensions (These are for Firefox. Equivalent versions may or may not exist on Chrome-based browsers; I'll link to the devs' own sites where possible.) uBlock Origin - The last truly good adblocker/content blocker, still capable of shutting down ads from Youtube and many other sites. Dark Reader - Dark mode converter, works on most sites. Your eyes will thank you for getting rid of so many white backgrounds. Shinigami Eyes - If you've ever seen Death Note, you get the idea: this extension color-codes sites, pages, and social media accounts that are known to be either pro-trans (green) or transphobic (red). OneTab - A nice tab organizing and grouping tool. I Don't Care About Cookies - Do you ever get tired of those popups that ask you to approve or reject browser cookies? Say goodbye to them! Return Youtube Dislike - Needs no further explanation, I think. Save WebP as PNG or JPEG - An antidote to the most hateful image file extension in existence. Reverse Image Search - Adds Google Lens and multiple other search engines as an option in the context menu when you right-click on images. Simple Translate - Allows you to use Google Translate on any page or selected block of text. AHA Music - Sadly not available for Firefox, but I used this heavily when I was still on Brave and Opera. Lets you identify a song by a snippet of whatever is playing in your current tab. You can also upload a clip to the website itself. Security Bitdefender Free Antivirus - After trying multiple different AVs over the years, this is the one I settled on back in 2022. Quite robust, if you're not a fan of using the one that comes with Windows. ZoneAlarm Free Firewall - My go-to firewall since 2010. Malwarebytes - Another very good AV, but instead of using it for actual real-time protection, I find that its standout feature is its free file scanning system. I've used it to clean all of my comps since 2011. Media Usage Winamp - My daily music player of choice since 2017. It's pretty old, and looks the part, but still gets my love for being so visually customizable, including in the window layout. Media Monkey - Less of a music player, and more of a full music library manager for professional applications. VLC - The best video player. DJV - Annoying to use as a daily driver for watching videos, but great for scanning video files frame-by-frame. ImageGlass - Image viewer. A more capable replacement for Windows's built-in Photos app. Media Creation Kdenlive - A fantasic video editor, basically a free alternative to Vegas. OBS - The reigning king of screen recording software. Handbrake - A video encoder/transcoder. Very useful for compressing, cutting, cropping, or converting videos. Audacity - The classic audio editor. Voicemeeter - A real-time audio mixing console. Equalizer APO - Program for real-time modding of your audio for both input and output. (If you've ever wondered how I keep my mic clean of background noise despite having fans on all the time, it's by using this plugin on my mic in Equalizer APO.) Kenku FM - A Discord-based program for streaming music, sound effects, and more through bots. Made for D&D and other tabletop games, but you can use it in a lot of different situations. If This Part Were Longer, It'd Probably Break Site Rules qBittorrent - Ever used uTorrent or BitTorrent and wished they weren't loaded with ads? This is your answer! Soulseek - A peer-to-peer file sharing program. Most useful for searching for files of obscure songs you can't find anywhere else. JDownloader2 - Bulk downloader. This thing has made my life much easier on multiple occasions. Universal Cyrillic Decoder - In case you download something from a Russian source, and all of the info is written in text you can't read. Miscellaneous LibreOffice - A great free, open-source alternative to MS Office. Notepad++ - Powerful, coding-oriented alternative to the standard Windows Notepad. I love it mainly for its multi-tabbing and advanced text search functions. f.lux - A program that changes the color tones of your screen to adapt to the time of day, and heavily reduces blue light. TeamViewer - For PC remote control. I use this when I need to control my computer away from home, or when someone else needs remote tech support. Parsec - Like TeamViewer, but more oriented toward gaming, and less likely to scream at you when it thinks you're using a PC for "commercial" purposes. 7-Zip - File manager, unzipper, archiver. Great for working with .zip, .rar, and other compressed files. Pretty much exactly like WinRAR, but utterly free. Iriun - Lets you use your phone as a PC webcam. Defraggler - For all of your defragging needs! TreeSize - Storage space usage analysis program. If you ever want to free up some space on your drive, and need to identify what's hogging it up, this is what you need. Fast Clicker - I don't remember where I found this one, but I've been using it since 2018. It does exactly what it says in the title. Borderless Gaming - Sometimes, you get a pesky game or program that refuses to run in the screen setup you want. This usually solves that problem. AntiMicroX - If you ever want to use a controller for a game, and said game doesn't support controllers at all, AntiMicroX lets you map your controller's inputs to your mouse and keyboard. Quality-of-Life Improvements Open Shell - Replaces the awful "not-quite-mobile-UI" Windows start menus from 8 onwards with one more similar to the menus from Windows 7 and before. Microsoft PowerToys - A utility suite for Windows power users. Vencord - A plugin suite for Discord, absolutely loaded with useful features (including, as I mentioned in our server earlier, the ability to skip Youtube ads in the Discord embedded player) and QOL tweaks. K-Lite Codec Pack - Makes it much easier to use a wide variety of video file formats in different programs, including Windows's default video players. Also comes with Media Player Classic (MPC-HC) as an optional extra install. Visual C++ Redistributable Runtimes All-in-One - If you've ever been annoyed at having to install some version of VCRedist for a program, this bundle includes every single one in a single download, with one install program. Windows 7 Task Manager - Replaces the default Windows 10/11 Task Manager with the one from Windows 7. Process Explorer - If the Windows 7 revival version just isn't enough, this is an even more powerful alternative to the Task Manager.

In recent months, our reoccurring Jackbox games during events have only become increasingly popular. Thanks to this, we've decided to make it a weekly game alongside Pictionary. This will mark the first time in a few years we have more than one weekly game. The Jackbox games you all know and love will be used. How this will work is that each week, three rounds of one certain game will be played. Whoever has the total overall scores across the three rounds will be the winner for the night. The winner will receive 2,000 doubloons, 300 experience points and the Jackbox Champion badge. SBC Jackbox will officially start on Monday, January 20th at 7pm EST. You can never get enough jack! Dman never expected Jackbox to get so big on here when he first suggested it to us back in 2020, and we're proud of how far it's come. Have a great Christmas and join us for our Discord party where we'll raffle off several presents!

Once again I am back at it once again

WhaleBlubber was one of the most infamous enemies to tv.com, and his name still haunts SBC despite only ever bothering us once. His whereabouts today remain one of the greatest unsolved mysteries in SBC lore. But what if… he stuck around and had successfully taken over SBC? Episode 14: What If… WhaleBlubber Ruled SBC? In July 2010, WhaleBlubber had successfully destroyed what remained of the Tv.com SpongeBob board with a spam raid and bribing several moderators to ban users. He decided to expand his ambitions to spamming SBC now, refusing to let the Tv.com refugees start anew. But then, as he began making an account to raid SBC, an idea hatched in his brain: Instead of getting banned for the lulz for the 100th time, what if he played the long game? He planned to gain the staff’s trust, act like a normal member, and take over the site from within. WhaleBlubber registered as “guymonty” a month later to let the heat die down first. He did not go in posting with his usual shark and feces spam schtick, instead actually trying to be a contributive member of the community. Unlike what happened in reality, “guymonty” did not trigger any red flags and quickly became a popular member. To fit in, he pretended to be a connoisseur in several subjects that he had no interest in such as Pokemon, Family Guy, Nostalgia Critic, and even SpongeBob. Whenever people would dunk on WhaleBlubber, “guymonty” begrudgingly joined in the dunking sessions, but he deeply hated how they belittled his ego. He would thankfully not have to put up with this for much longer. Another month passes and “guymonty” has become a respected member. Since this was in the olden days where popular members became staff, you can guess what was on the staff’s mind. “Guymonty” was promoted to an admin, joining the panel of 70s, jjs, tvguy and Ex, and everyone gave him a roaring applause. By the time staff realized who “guymonty” truly was however, it was too late. WhaleBlubber had demoted and banned them all, taking control. They could not believe he successfully duped and outsmarted them. He renamed the site to “Shit Bros Community" and laid out his ten commandments that he would enforce with a blubbery fist: 1: No insulting the big man himself. 2: No discussion of any other religions or gods, for he is the only true god. 3: No dissing sharks, for they are the best aquatic creature. 4: No pseudo-intellectual essays. 5: No gays allowed. 6: No unfunny jokes. What's “funny” will be up to staff’s discretion. 7: No talking about any musician except Soulja Boy. 8: No talking about SpongeBob. 9: No jaywalking. 10: Anything else goes and have a good time. The forum became an unfiltered wild west akin to 4chan. Several disgraced Tv.com trolls join including NightmareFan17, who attempts to win Blubber’s favor with much ass kissing. But Blubber finds him to be pathetic and banishes him from his kingdom. WhaleBlubber continues to party and cause chaos with his troll brethren. However, as the months go by, something strange happens: WhaleBlubber grows…bored. He had always loved being the daring internet outlaw, but now that he’s on the other end, it was not his preferred thrilling feeling. He was in an echo chamber where their trolling had no impact or bothered anyone, and that pissed him off. He also grew tired of dealing with what he perceived as stupid complaints because he truthfully had no idea how to run a forum. Suddenly, WhaleBlubber bitterly makes an announcement: “There is no WhaleBlubber.” His followers are confused and betrayed by this, wondering if this was another shitpost or if there was a hidden meaning to it. Meanwhile, several SBC users had been plotting in secret to take back their forum. They launch a spam raid and several disillusioned trolls join them. WhaleBlubber is too apathetic to fight back and prevents the rest of his staff from banning them. In the end, the resistance is able to liberate SBC from WhaleBlubber’s rule and sends him fleeing. His reign of tyranny had come to an end, yet part of him was secretly relieved it was over. WhaleBlubber was forced to giving up his dreams of being the ultimate internet troll and actually get his life. Rumors say he became a fisherman living in solitude and away from technology. Part of him always wants to give into his urge to return to trolling but did his best to move on. One day, as if by divine intervention, he accidentally fishes up a lost iPhone. He spends a few moments staring at it, wondering if he should give into the temptation. Ominously cut to black.

The year is 2025, Jimmy Donaldson, otherwise known as the famous and infamous YouTuber, entrepreneur, humanitarian, challenge coordinator, big-time money giver, and former member of the Beasty Boiz comedy act, MrBeast continues to do some outlandish stunts to try and save his continuous PR disaster that has led to #MrBeastIsOverParty to trend. Will MrBeast come to his senses and make an effort to fix his image as the endless shit-eating grinning snakeoil salesman in Salvation Army clothing, or will he continue doing what he does best? ...Of course he’s going to try and save his career with something dumb. Did you expect anything else from a YouTube star? Episode 12: What if… MrBeast bought SBC? In his attempt to salvage his career, he would make a video claiming that he bought an entire website. His target? The SpongeBob Community. ...And how did SBC take it? As easy it is to tell, not so well. I. THE BEAST-GINNING SOF: lol, who invited mrbeast to SBC? Is it a troll? Jjs: We got some serious news to discuss. MrBeast just bought SBC. This is no joke. I didn’t even have the chance to talk this over with him, but he did post on his introductory thread that he promised a huge sum to give to each and every one of the members. Salmon: wait I though April Fool’s wasn’t in February? Jjs: I’m not pulling any legs. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but it looks like MrBeast is going to take control of running this site now. WhoBob: Just what we needed, another multi-billionaire buying a site from us, and it HAD to be ours. JCM: I can’t believe MrBeast would just take my job from me like that, smh. Steel Sponge: As his first ruling as owner of the SpongeBob Community, he will give 100 banned members new accounts. ..Sorry, I really shouldn’t be jinxing this. (edited) Prez: Not kino. Hope he doesn’t buy 91x next. Jjs: Let’s not panic. Maybe MrBeast will do a good enough job in running the site. At the very least, this news will give us a huge influx of new members. Maybe he’ll be willing to sell SBC back to us sooner or later. We’ll be even richer that way. SOF: so...what we do now? Jjs: MrBeast still hasn’t joined our server, so we can at least have fun here watching the chaos unfold for a while. FantasticMrBeast has landed! Jjs: Fuck II. TO BEAST OR NOT TO BEAST Of course, no one was happy with the new sudden change in management. After giving the SBC members a rundown on why he decided to buy the SpongeBob Community, which involved showing pics of him graduating from dictator college and taking over the world (with smiles), MrBeast went on to say that his involvement would help bring new members and traffic to the site (to which some argued that they don’t want to have to do deal with the possibility of more toxic members), that he needed additional sponsorship for his Lunchly food brand, and that he wanted to help each member of the site financially. Many of the members protested MrBeast to sell back the site, including from those who expressed disappointment in him replacing the original server chat emoji with MrBeast-inspired emotes (including :whatcanyoudo:), but Jjs declared that he’ll let Jimmy Donaldson run the site until problems already start. MrBeast expressed his first order of business as the new owner of SBC by letting them all know that he will be setting up challenges all across the forums for a chance to win a billion gazillion dollars per challenge. III. A BEAST FOR CROWS The first major event that MrBeast would post to the site upon its restructuring would be a “Meme Off,” where members will win thousands of dollars for making the best meme. Although the community decided to play along and only make snowclones of his “I helped 1,000 people [blank] again” type of content, every member would end up winning the Meme Offs as MrBeast appreciated them tooting his own horn anyway. SBC Spin-Offs, despite having been rebranded under the ‘Stories’ umbrella term, would receive a revival under the name of “Beast Spins,” upon the introduction of the then 10-season long series titled Jimmy’s Beastly Adventures. MrBeast would then announce that he obtained rights to turn Pisces Moon and The Adventures of No Name into decently-budgeted feature films. Steel Sponge, the original creator of both spin-offs, would give MrBeast his contributions as executive producer with a “Do whatever the hell you want with them” go-ahead. MrBeast would also host a writing challenge worth thousands of dollars for members to write the best story featuring him, with the winner going to dman’s hit one-shot MrBeast Goes Bankrupt. The restructuring would bleed into the entertainment forums where MrBeast makes threads regarding his YouTube series, his infamous game show, the fan games that he inspired, and all of his other side projects. In the music section, renamed BEAST-FM, he awarded a member a job as a radio DJ for the station of their choosing by naming ten songs made by MISSIO. Prez would win and land himself a job as the new main host of 91x. In the movies and TV section, renamed Cinema Beasts, MrBeast would offer a movie deal to any member who successfully pitches an idea for a new film to him, with WhoBob being given the deal for his “The Gay Turkish Avengers” pitch. In the video games and technology section, renamed Tech Beasts, MrBeast offered a video game development deal for whoever successfully pitched an idea for a new game JCM would win after giving MrBeast his demo of “Sandy Cheeks Gets Run Over By a Car and Dies.” Donaldson would also introduce his own brand of smartphones known as the BeastPhone, with the introductory price of $1984. Upon launch, critics noted how easy it was to hack/jailbreak it. As a result, sbl would go on to mod the BeastPhone and turn it into the Kerfuffle Phone v.1.0, with the introductory price of $free in Canada, and $499 and other international variations of the pricing elsewhere, becoming a surprise commercial success. The SpongeBob discussion section of the forums would also fall victim to the restructuring, with one challenge involving creating a pitch for a new SB spin-off for the chance to win thousands of dollars. Cha would win after pitching to MrBeast “SquidBob’s Sexy Adventures.” IV. THE FALL OF THE BEAST Despite things looking up for the MrBeast-managed SpongeBob Community, it would already take a wrong turn after MrBeast announced a newly-funded project that he referred to as ‘the ultimate challenge.’ Production would start on a new game show titled Underwater Survivor: Beast Style. All of the winners of his previous challenges were forcibly and contractually obligated to compete, including Steel Sponge, the partial inspiration of the series. SOF filed a lawsuit against MrBeast and his production company, cited workplace abuse, unsafe conditions (i.e. residing in a submarine with low oxygen levels, with no lunch breaks), and challenges that violated humanitarian rights including and not limited to bleaching 1,000 colar reefs to be used to make into a new bleaching solution, killing 1,000 stingrays to make the ultimate leg cramp medicine from their toxins, and most scandalous of all – scourging the deep blue sea for scraps in order to build 100 nukes to send to North Korea so they could then give 1,000 victims MrBeast’s signature brand Lunchly meals. SOF also disclosed that the winner, who managed to get 100 countries to sign a treaty to agree to a new world war, would be awarded one billion dollars. However, MrBeast notified the contract-bound contestants that he didn’t have the funds to pay the winner until he was able to make money for his YouTube channel once he’s been repaid for the war crimes he planned to commit. Every unwilling participant that was now made aware of MrBeast’s true intentions – all according to keikaku – all openly refused to do any of his planned challenges, resulting in the immediate cancellation of Underwater Survivor: Beast Style. After the members had all described their experience working with MrBeast, Jjs spoke to him that he must sell back SBC to them, as they want to be legally cleared from the lawsuit against him. MrBeast agreed to bestow the rights of the SpongeBob Community back to the community itself and never tried to take advantage of them in order to create another over-glorified Ponzi scheme ever again. V. DON’T YOU (FORGET ABOUT BEAST) MrBeast was sued for $50 million in damages caused by the behind the scenes maltreatment for Underwater Survivor: Beast Style. The lawsuit damaged his career immensely as he lost 70 million subscribers in less than a week, an all time high. Meanwhile, for the members of the SpongeBob Community, the aftermath of his former ownership of SBC would have a positive effect on them: -Jjs became a prolific lawyer, with his first major accomplishment as a lawyer being for the case against MrBeast. He would go on to criminalize Billy Mitchell for his decades worth of faked gaming records and litigation abuse to those who exposed his fraudulence. He would also earn his own hit show titled Better Call JJSaul. -SOF would become the new Prime Minister of Canada, and the youngest ever. Her first order of business would be to send Doug Ford to yahoo jail. -Sbl became the CEO of a successful new smartphone company that managed to make enough money to buy X/Twitter from Elon Musk. The company is currently in the development stages for the Kerfuffle Phone 3.0. -Cha’s “SquidBob’s Sexy Adventures” spin-off pitch would be greenlighted by Nickelodeon, and it would go on to run for six seasons. -Prez remains a DJ for San Diego’s 91x alternative music station, as it now transitioned back into a station that primarily plays newer music. -JCM would go on to become a successful video game developer after the success of “Sandy Gets Run Over By a Car and Dies.” He would then create a new game heavily inspired by Pokemon, while also being able to bypass Nintendo’s patent infringement complaints. -dman’s MrBeast Goes Bankrupt one-shot story would be picked up by a publisher and went to #1 in the New York Times list. -WhoBob’s “Gay Turkish Avengers” became a massive box office success. It was big enough to become a cinematic universe. -Steel Sponge, after being bestowed full royalties for the film productions of The Adventures of No Name and Pisces Moon, would use his money to finally give 101 Dalmatian Street the second season it deserved. -Former UWS SBC contestant Blue Skarmory, despite not making an appearance in this story, died from a fentanyl overdose. He was 27 years old. MrBeast, after leaving his channel untouched after the lawsuit, would be declared AWAL. Some say that he’s moved on to live the rest of his life as a recluse, some say he reunited the Beastie Boyz comedy act, while rumors say that he’s working on making himself into a God of the new world, devising his plan to eradicate all life on Earth and help create new life. Sounds stranger than fiction, but in a series like What If…it could be realer than you think. I’m Jesse Ventura, and this is Conspiracy Theory.

From before I sold out and went corporate.

I already HAVE a cell phone, I've had one for the past 18 years (not the SAME one, but STILL)!

Witness with your eyes. The age of superheroes. First discovered in the 30s, before World War II began and ever since then they have been a phenomenon. Becoming more and more popular in pop culture. Uniting people with the tales they have been reading and identifying with or dividing people due to their disagreements and their takes. One thing is for certain, you can never have more brain rot than superhero comics fans. But what about the SpongeBob Community? What happens If they run a comic book industry? What surprises await you, the reader? What if…? Episode 6: What if...SBC was a superhero comic industry? We are on Earth-G7 and the year is 2009. terminoob, a person who cherished comic books for a long time, was frustrated by tv.com admin’s bad takes on superheroes. They were vile creatures who thought superheroes were IP machines meant to be consumed. They gave no thought to the stories people have been telling with them, they’ll read anything even if it’s the most fanservicey, mid, garbage and uninspired comics ever. Terminoob knew that the sad reality of Marvel and DC comics was that if you create a character, you can never own them forever and the fans of those comics will never give thought to creators who made those characters. As frustrated as he was, an idea hit him. Inspired by the pioneers of Image Comics, he decided to make a company that will have superheroes but unlike Marvel and DC, he’ll give the creators opportunity to own the characters and never fuck them over. So he decided to create his company: Super Buddies Comics. And he took those who were banned from tv.com and made them come up with whatever ridiculous characters they can think of. Among the creatives, there was Clappy who created Claplad, a superhero whose power is based on clapping with two hands and creating massive sound waves to crush mountains. Then there is Wumbo who decided to create a superhero called Cherry Cheesecake Man! The character who makes cherry cheesecake bombs and fights supervillain yahoos. Katniss makes a character called Taco Woman, the character who shoots tacos with her bow and delivers a feasty attack on bad guys. Prez creates a character called Music Crusher, the character with the ability to disrupt villains’ plans with music and harmony. These are all wonderful ideas and they did extremely well at tales. Reaching top 10 charts every month and ruining Marvel and DC’s success with no mercy whatsoever. Everything was going smoothly until a dark day awaited these creators. Year 2019 and terminoob realized that movie studios wanted to adapt those comics, therefore he got greedy and decided to scheme the creators with signing contracts that have invisible inks (truly a villainy move), robbing them off from getting residuals from movie money. The creators realized this scummy move but they couldn’t do anything about it due to contracts. So they had another plan at hand. Make a deal with the actual devil to prevent terminoob from getting the money they deserved, so the devil made sure terminoob cannot fuck them over anymore but what creators weren’t aware of that the devil pretty much erased everyone’s memories of the superhero comics they have made, taking the ownership of those characters away from them, leaving the creators with a big gap they cannot remember. With that bargain ending up badly, things cannot get any worse RIGHT? But noooo. Year 2024 and the devil took the superheroes away from the creators and he took Super Buddies Comics as a whole and changed its name into Satan’s Bargaining Chips, a new comic company that will fuck over any creators who wanna write and draw those characters even crueler than Marvel and DC. Crueler than terminoob’s reign. There you go, the reader. I hope you learned something today. The lesson that should be taken is not that corporations are evil and will exploit you at any chance. It’s that making a deal with a devil is truly an idiotic move!!! What the fuck were they thinking?!!!

4. "What could be worse than a giant paint bubble?!" Wet Painters - 305 points 16 of 35 lists (Highest placement #1, @OWM) (+1) Season: 3 Writers: C.H. Greenblatt, Kaz, and Mark O’Hare Plot: SpongeBob and Patrick paint the inside of Mr. Krabs’s house. This is another hilarious season 3 episode that I’m happy to see on the list. This episode takes a simple concept of SpongeBob and Patrick painting Mr Krab’s house, and getting some paint on a dollar (which was a hilariously small amount of paint), and makes it absolutely hilarious. SpongeBob trying so hard to avoid getting paint onto anything, while Patrick just doesn’t care, results in some really hilarious moments. SpongeBob somehow creating a huge paint bubble, and then Patrick creating a second one, and then making the combined bubble bigger, is hilarious, and the fact that its explosion results in just a single drop of paint on a single item, while painting the rest of the wall perfectly, even making small details, is hilarious. SpongeBob and Patrick trying so many ways to get the paint off of the dollar is so funny; my absolute favorite part of this is when they get the idea to just replace the dollar with any other dollar, and then Patrick just spends it on the candy vending machine that Mr. Krabs has for whatever reason. The fact that the dollar keeps not staying in, giving Patrick more times to fix his mistake while SpongeBob yells at him to take the dollar out, only for Patrick to keep trying anyway and eventually spending the dollar, is so funny. The episode does the same type of joke at the end too, when Mr. Krabs keeps getting seemingly mad at something only for it to turn out that he just saw something unrelated. This episode is hilarious, and I’m glad to see it on the list. 3. "That's two things in this house that won't work." Can You Spare a Dime? - 312 points 13 of 35 lists (Highest placement #1, @President Squidward@Yummylesecond@sbl) (+11) Season: 3 Writers: Jay Lender, Sam Henderson, and Merriwether Williams Plot: Squidward quits his job and stays at SpongeBob's house. This episode is one of the funniest episodes of the entire series, to the point where I had it as #5 on my list. Squidward becoming jobless and having to stay at Spongebob’s house, and then refusing to work at all and becomes extremely rude and annoying, is absolutely hilarious. Even funnier is how much this drives SpongeBob insane; It’s very rare that SpongeBob becomes genuinely angry, let alone angry at Squidward, but that’s what happens in this episode. The title card saying Squidward stays for so long that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one is hilarious. All the stuff Squidward forces SpongeBob to do is so funny, especially forcing SpongeBob to wear a maid outfit. And SpongeBob’s attempts at hinting to Squidward that he needs to get a job is even funnier. Putting on a puppet show about getting a job, making alphabet soup that says “GET A JOB”, and “Hmm, that’s two things in this house that won’t work”. Seeing SpongeBob be so pissed off at someone, especially Squidward, is always really funny to see, and I also find it so funny how, after so many obvious hints, Squidward only figures out that Spongebob is hinting at something, but not even that it’s to get a job. And then SpongeBob finally reaching his breaking point and going up to Mr Krabs to fucking CHOKE him in anger about him firing Squidward is absolutely hilarious. I think this episode making it all the way up to #3 this year is my favorite thing about this list, this episode deserves such a high ranking so much. It’s such a hilarious episode, I’m so glad it made it all the way up here.

10. "Who wants a Krabby Patty at 3 in the morning?!" Graveyard Shift - 215 points 12 of 35 lists (Highest placement #3, @Meko1432@Yummylesecond) (+1) Season: 2 Writers: Doug Lawrence, Jay Lender, and Dan Povenmire Plot: SpongeBob and Squidward work the night shift. This is another classic and fantastic episode, and a great way to begin the top 10. The spooky atmosphere of this episode, taking place in the middle of the night, is fantastic, and really helps make the episode seem creepier. The story of the Hash Slinging Slasher is very funny, but the best thing about it is how it looks like it’s actually happening, despite Squidward simply making it up. The lights flickering on and off, then the phone ringing with no one there, the walls oozing green slime (oh wait they always do that), and then the bus dropping off a scary-looking figure with a spatula hand, is so funny, and the explanation for what was actually happening is very funny (especially the light flickering just being Nosferatu, who’s just treated like a common appearance despite literally never appearing before). Spongebob being so terrified to throw out the trash at night is also very funny, and I like how he keeps eating his hands while Squidward tells his story. The one thing I don’t like about the episode is SpongeBob’s screaming after Squidward finishes the story, which is honestly really annoying, but everything else about this episode is fantastic, and I’m glad it made it onto the list. 9. "I guess he just doesn't like you!" "Pretend to be somebody else!" The Camping Episode - 244 points 12 of 35 lists (Highest placement #1, @Clappy) (-1) Season: 3 Writers: Jay Lender, Sam Henderson, and Merriwether Williams Plot: SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward go camping This is one of many hilarious season 3 episodes that I’m glad to see on the list. This episode is absolutely hilarious. Moments like the campfire song song, Patrick blowing marshmallows on Squidward, and Squidward failing to set up a tent are very funny, but the absolute best part of the episode is when Squidward Gets Mauled. Squidward doing all of the silly and random stuff to attract and anger a Sea Bear is really funny, and him getting attacked because of it is very funny karma. The fact that the Bear can’t attack anyone inside a drawn circle in the ground is really funny and makes literally no sense, and Squidward getting repeatedly getting attacked by the bear for stupid stuff is hilarious, especially when he didn’t even do anything and Spongebob just says “I don’t know, I guess he just doesn’t like you”. All of this could have just been avoided if Squidward didn’t feel so offended and challenged by Spongebob simply telling him to have a fun night indoors, when that was clearly not his intention. Overall, this episode is just hilarious, especially the sea bear moments.

Imagine, if you will, what would happen if a member by the name of Steel Sponge was a superintendent and was expecting an ‘unforgettable luncheon’ with SBC siterunner Jjs. The story is certainly one that is familiar, but perhaps you haven’t heard it like this. What if…? Episode 4: What if… Jjs purchased fast food and disguised it as his own cooking? Superintendent Steel Sponge was in for a real unforgettable luncheon once as Jjs invited him to his Steamed Hams server (despite Jjs’ rather confusing directions). However, things already took a turn for the worst when Jjs’ holographic meatloaf had already caught fire in the oven chatroom. Let’s face it, lunch is ruined. However, upon looking at the Burger King server, an idea occurred to him… “But what if…I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, delightfully devilish, Jjs!” Before Jjs could open up the window to the Burger King server, Steel the superintendent was already being observant and demanded an explanation… “Why is there smoke coming out of this channel, Jjs?” Steel asked. “It’s for the steamed hams we’re having. It’s in the name of the server after all,” Jjs responded. “Yeah you’re right, I’m an idiot. Well, I’ll be waiting for your steamed hams, just like you’ll waiting for one of my spin-offs to be updated.” Steel finished before returning to #table. Jjs, of course, had to hide the evidence of the burning meatloaf and so he sent it and eye witness JCM (in a cameo), into the Fly of Despair before making a beeline to the Burger King server, coming back with a fresh batch of borgers. “Say, where did the name ‘steamed hams’ come from anyway?” Steel asked. “I don’t know,” Jjs said bluntly. “I suppose it’s a regional term from Eurobricks.” “I’ve never heard of it. I would’ve assumed you got it from Dead Homer Society.” One minute into the luncheon, Steel the superintendent would discover something was off… “You know, these look and taste very similar to the ones at Burger King.” Steel informed. “Well it sure as hell isn’t one of those burgers from Applebee’s.” Jjs remarked. “You’ve made a point there,” Steel replied. “These are patented Jjs Steamed Hams but Burger King stole the recipe from me.” “...Really?” “You know…I think we should be calling it a day. It is getting late.” “I guess I should be- GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!?” Steel suddenly cried out once he saw the Fly of Despair in the oven channel, let alone that the room was more engulfed in “steam.” “Oh you know, I’ve opened up a portal that transcends from here to the eighth dimension. You know, normal technological server stuff.” Jjs explained. “A portal to an alternate dimension? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this reality? Localized entirely within this Steamed Hams Discord server!?” Steel questioned. “Yes!” “Can I see it?” “Why not?” Both Steel and Jjs looked down at the Fly of Despair and could hear JCM crying out for help, saying “Jjs, the server is on fire!” “No JCM, it’s just the hyperspace time lapse kicking in,” Jjs reassured. “Jjs, you are an odd fellow, but I must say, that luncheon was a wholesome Reddit moment.” Steel finished. JCM was not heard from again, but may have found an end to the fly somewhere on his quest to recollect the time gears, accompanied by the carbonated holographic meatloaf. However, the luncheon between Jjs and Superintendent Steel remained an unforgettable one. I’m Jesse Ventura and this is Conspiracy Theory.

16. "We shall never deny a guest, not even the most ridiculous request" Krusty Towers - 164 points 9 of 35 lists (Highest placement #3, @Clappy) (+3) Season: 4 Writers: Luke Brookshier, Tom King and Steven Banks Plot: Mr. Krabs turns the Krusty Krab into a hotel. This episode was constantly competing with Fear of a Krabby Patty for which one would be the higher Season 4 episode throughout the entire existence of this list. Seriously, it switched around constantly, and they were usually right next to each other too. Krusty Towers ended up just barely winning in the end. This episode is so hilarious, and is one of the most popular episodes after the first three seasons. Both halves of the episode are hilarious in different ways. The first half is hilarious because of what Squidward has to do as an employee at the hotel. The employee elevator just being a flight of stairs is absolutely hilarious. Squidward having to do the dumbest shit for Patrick like carrying his suitcases full of rocks up all the stairs and giving him a bubble bath, because “We shall never deny a guest, not even the most ridiculous request!” is hilarious. And then Squidward flips the whole thing around by quitting and returning as a guest, and forcing Mr Krabs and SpongeBob to do stupid shit for him instead, such as repainting the room like ten times before bringing it back to how it was before. The whole fake out sequence with Squidward’s grandma is absolutely hilarious. This episode was on my list at #15, because of how hilarious it is. I’m very glad to see it so high on the list. 15. "There's never been any ice, ice is just a myth!" Nasty Patty - 170 points 10 of 35 lists (Highest placement #4, @So Sejima @Yummylesecond) (-5) Season: 3 Writers: Paul Tibbitt, Kaz, and Mark O’Hare Plot: SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs think they murdered the health inspector The fact that a SpongeBob episode involves SpongeBob and Mr Krabs thinking they murdered a health inspector is so funny. You would never expect that from a Nickelodeon show. But this is Spongebob, they do things like that. The fact that they make a terrible patty for the health inspector, thinking he was an imposter, only to realize that wasn’t the fake inspector, is very funny. The thing that makes this absolutely hilarious though, is that the police come in. Right when they finish burying the body, the police suddenly appear in the middle of nowhere. Spongebob and Mr Krabs having to hide that they killed someone and hid the body is hilarious, and the body returning from the ground and therefore being in the trunk of the police car and they have to hide the body again somehow, makes it even funnier. Then Spongebob and Mr Krabs going crazy when the police try to enter the freezer where the body is, saying things like ice being a myth, and then finally admitting to it but then also blaming the other for it, is hilarious, and my favorite part of the episode. Overall, this episode deserves to make the list for having such a hilarious concept and so many funny jokes.

18. "Squidward, the robots are running the Navy!" Krab Borg - 150 points 9 of 35 lists (Highest placement #3, @BenPaz) (+10) Season: 3 Writers: Paul Tibbitt, Kent Osborne, and Mark O’Hare Plot: SpongeBob and Squidward think Mr. Krabs is a robot. For some reason, I used to consider this episode overrated. And I was wrong about that, this episode is fantastic. This episode is so hilarious. It’s already really funny seeing SpongeBob somehow think Mr Krabs is a robot, while Squidward is trying to show SpongeBob how ridiculous it is to think Mr Krabs is a robot. But then when Squidward also becomes convinced? That’s the cherry on top. Seeing SpongeBob and Squidward both think Mr Krabs is a robot is so funny, and their interrogation of “robot” Krabs is hilarious. Squidward destroying Mr Krab’s items to get him to reveal he’s a robot is really funny, and the cash register being what causes him to finally show emotion is funny. I also love how it turns out the ending to the movie that got Spongebob so scared of robots was just that the robots were their imagination. It’s also funny how everytime Spongebob thinks of a robot trait, Mr Krabs suddenly appears to have it, and seeing what was actually happening makes it even funnier. Ultimately, Robot Krabs never hugged you, and that is rather sad, but you can hug yourself during your break. NOW GET BACK TO WORK!!! 17. "Anyone know how many days it’s been, I lost track" Fear of a Krabby Patty - 156 points 8 of 35 lists (Highest placement #1, @Steel Sponge) (+14) Season: 4 Writers: C.H. Greenblatt and Paul Tibbitt Plot: SpongeBob becomes afraid of Krabby Patties. It’s a common misconception among people who watched the show as a kid and aren’t in the fanbase that every episode (except maybe Krusty Towers) after the first movie is a bad episode. And this episode instantly proves that wrong. It’s the very first post-movie episode, and it's great. Plankton’s plan being to make SpongeBob go so insane from sleep deprivation that he becomes terrified of Krabby Patties is very interesting, and it’s funny to see SpongeBob see everyone as a Krabby Patty. There’s so many funny jokes in this episode, like the old man just randomly floating around and being confused, and Spongebob somehow getting a piano to fall on Plankton multiple times. The dream sequence at the end is also very cool, and it’s funny that the Krabby Patty there is actually nice. This is one of many great season 4 episodes.

20. "You doodle! Me SpongeBob!" Frankendoodle - 145 points 8 of 35 lists (Highest placement #3, @NegiSpongie@CDCB) (-5) Season: 2 Writers: Walt Dohrn, Paul Tibbitt, and Merriwether Williams Plot: SpongeBob creates the evil DoodleBob. This was on my list at #9. The concept of a pencil from above the ocean becoming magical underwater is very neat. It's interesting to see what the pencil can make underwater, particularly Doodlebob. Doodlebob is the thing that makes me love this episode so much. He’s such a silly and funny character. This magical doodle of Spongebob just being an insane psychopath that speaks funny gibberish is hilarious and makes for a great Spongebob villain. He’s honestly one of my favorite characters of the series despite being in like three episodes. He’s just such a funny character, his gibberish is funny and he has a bunch of other funny moments too like beating up Squidward. There’s a whole bunch of other good jokes in this episode too, such as FINLAND and “take it easy, it’s just a drawing”. The artist at sea is also funny. He gives an important moral that all children need; if you go to the middle of the ocean to draw, you need to make sure you bring a spare pencil. This is a classic Spongebob episode, and I’m very glad to see this episode make the list again. 19. "Everything is chrome in the future!" SB-129 - 147 points 9 of 35 lists (Highest placement #1, @WhoBibbles) (-3) Season: 1 Writers: Aaron Springer, Erik Wiese, and Doug Lawrence Plot: Squidward accidentally freezes himself, sending him to the far future This is my favorite episode of Season 1, so I’m glad it made the list. It was #11 on my list. This is such a cool episode with fun time travel shenanigans. Everything being chrome in the future is iconic, and Squidward’s reaction to all the changes in the future is very funny. The past sequence is also funny, and it’s funny to see Spongebob and Patrick as ancient gorilla-like beings. The fact that Squidward accidentally invents jellyfishing by showing it to them is also very funny. But the absolute best part of the episode is the third section. The trippiness and eerieness of the blank white void, with absolutely nothing there, is very cool and interesting, and the sudden ALONEs that appear when Squidward lays down to relax by himself adds to the vibe. Squidward eventually realizing how scary the idea of being completely alone with just him and his clarinet for the rest of his life and becoming desperate to just return home is very cool as well. Overall, this is a very cool and unique episode with plenty of cool locations.

28. "At least I'm safe inside my mind" Big Pink Loser - 103 points 5 of 35 lists (Highest ranking #1, @PatBack) (+12) Season: 2 Writers: Jay Lender, William Reiss, and Merriwether Williams Plot: Patrick acts like SpongeBob to get his own award. This is one of Patrick’s funniest and most iconic episodes, so it’s good to see it on the list. This episode is just full of funny Patrick moments. Patrick struggling to do anything right at the Krusty Krab is so funny. Between “THIS IS PATRICK!”, and him struggling to open a jar, it’s so funny to watch, and then Patrick mimicking SpongeBob in the latter half of the episode is also really funny. It’s funny to see Patrick even imitate things like hitting his head with a hammer, burning his hand, and somehow even managing to read SpongeBob’s mind (and SpongeBob also read Patrick’s mind…..). He even mimics SpongeBob's house! This is also pretty interesting from a characterization perspective too; Patrick is really sad that he hasn't done anything worth getting an award for, and he eventually feels that the only way for him to get one is to pretend to be somebody else, which is kinda sad when you think about it. And for that reason, it's nice to see him get an award in the end, even if it was for literally doing nothing. This is one of Patrick’s star () episodes, and this episode is just full of hilarious Patrick moments. 27. "Ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli" Imitation Krabs - 103 points 6 of 35 lists (Highest ranking #2, @El Jacko @So Sejima) (+5) Season: 2 Writers: Walt Dohrn, Paul Tibbitt, and Doug Lawrence Plot: Plankton disguises himself as a robot version of Mr. Krabs. Imitation Krabs is another funny season 2 episode to make it onto the list today. Nickelodeon didn’t submit a list, but if they did, this probably would’ve been on it considering they did THREE separate episodes with a similar concept in season 7. It’s so silly that Plankton’s dumb plan to just make a robot of Mr Krabs and ask SpongeBob what the formula is somehow manages to almost work. It’s clearly a robot, but somehow SpongeBob falls for it anyway. The amount of things that need to be done to say the secret formula is also funny. The highlight of the episode however, is when SpongeBob has to figure out who is the real Mr. Krabs. It’s so funny to see Plankton somehow manage to convince SpongeBob that he is the real Mr. Krabs, and that the real Mr. Krabs somehow convinces SpongeBob less. Then the fact that Plankton loses because he just has a penny self-destruct slot for no reason is so funny. I also like how Mr. Krab’s punishment is to just be eaten by Hans lol.

6. Sigh, remember the day Sandy and I got maaarrrrriiiiiiiied? Truth or Square - 199 points 9 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #1, @Less_SpongeBob @Honest Slug) (-1) Season: 6 Writers: Luke Brookshier, Nate Cash, Steven Banks, Paul Tibbitt Plot: During a Krusty Krab anniversary celebration, SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs accidentally get locked in the freezer. The first of my many complains about TOS is...why did this even need to be TV movie if you're going to add extremely boring Patchy segments for about half the episode??? Good thing there is a 22-minute version that skips the Patchy segments (and the episode doesn't change at all) but the SpongeBob segments are not any better. Most of the flashbacks by themselves are not bad but the episode itself is just filler, filler and more filler...they are just sitting there in the vents and there is a flashback every 10 minutes which is surrounded by unnecessary or stupid scenes. This episode is also soooo lazy with reused animation (exact same footage of Plankton falling in the vents 3 times) and voice recordings (OWIE OW OW). Speaking of Plankton why the fuck is he even there? He contributes nothing and could easily be removed from this episode and not change a thing. This doesn't even feel like a special at all, just filler dragged out for 50 whole minutes. Also, what does eleventy-seventy even mean??? Couldn't they have used an existing number??? 5. Source? We love the source! Ink Lemonade - 217 points 12 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #1, @OWM) (-1) Season: 11 Writer: Kaz Plot: Patrick's lemonade stand is unsuccessful until he gets a secret ingredient from Squidward. Ah yes, the first post-sequel episode on this bottom list and it's pretty low at #5. During this good era I was surprised to see such a horrible episode, I couldn't believe it at first. I remember when we used to joke about Time of the Month but the actual thing killed the meme for me. Only thing I can praise about this episode is the top notch animation but the rest is just uncomfortable to watch. Why did they come up with the idea of Squidward's ink being an ingredient for lemonade? And most importantly, why is this episode so uncharacteristically gross? Did we really need to see Patrick's internal organs or spiders coming out of Squidward's mouth? I don't like to use the term "Squidward torture" unironically but here it's unfortunately nearly true. We have a 2 minute sequence of Patrick scaring Squidward to death for the sole purpose of getting his ink. I get some people find enjoyment out of it but this is just not for me.

8. Two words, SpongeBob... "na" "chos" Smoothe Jazz at Bikini Bottom - 185 points 11 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #5, @CakeCup @dmandagiraffe @Coffee_lover) (+2) Season: 8 Writers: Casey Alexander, Zeus Cervas, Richard Pursel Plot: SpongeBob and Squidward attend Kelpy G's concert. I'm kinda surprised this episode made the bottom 10 (and even jumped 2 places) even when I took Smoothe out of my bottom 15. Like many episodes on this list, I hate it but not enough to warrant a bottom 15. However, this is one of the worst examples of wasted potential because SpongeBob and Squidward attending a concert together was a cool idea but the final product is such a mess. Tbh the first half isn't that bad but I'd say it's still boring. The 2nd half, or to be exact, when Patrick appeared is when it all went more downhill than it was. What was the point of him popping up there if he doesn't even care about Kelpy G, just nachos? Of course, he has to eat SpongeBob and Squidward's backstage passes because hahahaha it's funny!!! laugh!!! Then Squidward gets all the bad luck in the world as he loses his seat and gets kicked out of the concert. I wish this episode ended better for Squidward like him playing his clarinet on stage with Kelpy G or something. 7. This town is getting too rough for me. Pet or Pests - 188 points 10 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #1, @CakeCup) (-1) Season: 6 Writers: Aaron Springer, Richard Pursel Plot: SpongeBob adopts a stray worm who gives birth to worm babies overnight. This episode used to be my worst episode for the longest time but it's still the #1 ugliest episode in the entire show. The animation AND writing were at their absolute low here. I haven't complained about the animation itself in my past reviews because most of s6-9a doesn't look good and I would repeat myself so I bring this complain to this ep that represents more the ugliness than everything. The combination of ugly animation and gross-out is the last thing I want not only in SpongeBob but also for any other shows. How can you make baby worms that ugly? Why is there a puking worms running gag? Of course, the writing has countless flaws like slow dialogue, Larry not knowing (or pretending not to know which would be very rude from him) SpongeBob and wanting to eat the worms, the dreaded doorbell gag that goes on for literally 30 seconds, the lame "old country" joke, and too many to count. This episode was made with literally every single flaw of middle post-movie.

Now let's continue the countdown and start the bottom 10 episodes!!! Are you ready? 10. What a lucky break! Now I have a captive audience! Choir Boys - 165 points 9 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #2, @CakeCup) (-3) Season: 6 Writers: Aaron Springer, Richard Pursel Plot: SpongeBob wants to join the choir that Squidward participates in. This episode dropped 3 places but it didn't leave the bottom 10, which I'm not surprised because a few people here don't hate it as much anymore or even like it while there is still a group that still hates it. Springer's episodes (especially in season 6) tend to have a particular funnibad humor but here it just doesn't hit. We begin with a extremely boring first minutes where SpongeBob is...bored laying on the floor. Then the rest of the episode is StalkerBob that is not even funny. After asking if he can go to the choir with him and getting a negative response he still follows him everywhere, just because he wants to show how he sings and convince him to go with him??? It would have been better if it focused more on SpongeBob practicing for the choir and surprise Squidward there, instead of annoying him with his singing. Apart from "SpongeJesus", this episode has absolutely nothing to praise. 9. You don't need to know everything about your best friend. That's what keeps the friendship interesting! You Don't Know Sponge - 171 points 9 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #1, @ThePickleMan) (+10) Season: 7 Writers: Luke Brookshier, Nate Cash, Derek Iversen Plot: SpongeBob and Patrick take a quiz on each other, which threatens their friendship. Thank god YDKS jumped 10 places because this is legit rock bottom for this show and it absolutely deserves a bottom 10 spot. I have a million questions about this episode but this one of them: Why were they taking that friendship test in the Krusty Krab? Why does everything in S7 have to take place there? Ok let's get to the real shit...Patrick is dumb but NOT to the extent of not even knowing if SpongeBob is a boy or a girl. Of course, he answers all these basic questions wrong and when Squidward sees the results he answers "It's like we're not friends at all?", huh????? When he gets SpongeBob's ice cream flavour wrong and the latter cries he and Lou treat him like he's in the wrong??? This left me out of words about how extremely out of character he was. Also Sandy is pretty useless at helping SpongeBob by telling him the less you know him the more interesting friendship it is, this makes zero sense...and when SB cries again she calls him a cry-baby like he's in the wrong? Wtf is wrong with everyone's characterization? After Patrick shops with Larry for some reason he gives SB Groucho glasses and he answers "you do know me, best friend", I don't think that makes sense at all either after all that happened earlier...

12. You mean the juvenile correction facility? But that place is for losers, man. The Clash of Triton - 158 points 9 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #4, @WhoBibbles @Less_SpongeBob ) (+2) Season: 6 Writers: Casey Alexander, Zeus Cervas, Aaron Springer, Steven Banks, Paul Tibbitt Plot: It's King Neptune's birthday, and SpongeBob wants to make sure his friends and family are there, including his son, Triton, but Neptune and Triton don't get along. Middle post-sequel doesn't have good specials overall but Clash of Triton is one of the most nothing specials you can even find in the show. This is probably the only SpongeBob episode I actually fell asleep to. When I watched this episode for the first time I thought it was going to be a bit more focused on Neptune's birthday but nope we got scenes of him crying for his son Triton after putting him in a cage unfairly for ages while the rest of the episode is SpongeBob looking for Triton and of course theses scenes are painfully boring as well. I don't have much to say honestly because I haven't seen this episode in ages, but it's pretty clear that it's such a snooze fest. 11. Hey, ya just mind your own business and let us blecorate in peace! Big Sister Sam - 160 points 8 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #2, @El Jacko) (+2) Season: 7 Writers: Casey Alexander, Zeus Cervas, Richard Pursel Plot: Patrick's sister Sam comes to visit him. This is yet another episode I was debating whether I should have added it to my list or not (I didn't). Apart from being boring like 90% of season 7, Sam is such an unlikeable character who is even dumber than Patrick and acts more like a wild animal. This episode is basically Sam destroying things because she is so into it and annoying Squidward and SpongeBob, even by destroying their houses, hahahaha laugh she destroyed things!!!!The worst part is that Patrick DEFENDS Sam's actions, by telling them they are rude for calling out Sam, even though everything she does has bad intentions. I also don't understand the ending...why does she have two faces? Is there something I missed? Even if it's just Sam having two moods this is such a poor way to portray it.

14. Now that I haven't suffocated, it's high time I got back to this list of house-sitting duties. House Sittin for Sandy - 91 points 5 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #7, @SquiddyFace @OWM @BoJack Horseman) (+9) Season: 8 Writers: Aaron Springer, Sean Charmatz, Derek Iversen Plot: SpongeBob's house-sitting stint at Sandy's goes perfectly smoothly until Patrick arrives for a visit. Season 8 is full of sleep medication and House Sittin for Sandy is one of its strongest pills. I'm not surprised it went up the rankings (even if it missed my list by a hair) because this is such a nothing episode where absolutely nothing happens until I don't know...6th minute or something. What's funny is that they made a joke out of something the storyboard artists forgot to do...draw SpongeBob's water helmet as SpongeBob completely forgot about it until Patrick pointed that out, he even asked "what's that funny thing on your head?" well what do you think??? Patrick didn't help at all and made this borefest worse than it was. Also, the fact that Sandy wanted them to destroy her treedome so that she tests her new invention is such a stupid reason. She could have destroyed something herself and fix it with that thing. This episode also has a dumb "here we go again" ending with the robot breaking Sandy's invention and not being able to fix her treedome anymore, and all of this could have been avoided if she didn't manipulate SpongeBob and Patrick into house-sitting. 13. Sigh... he's so handsome! Are You Happy Now? - 140 points 7 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #3, @Shark Tale @Hotel Mario) (-4) Season: 8 Writers: Luke Brookshier, Marc Ceccarelli, Dani Michaeli Plot: SpongeBob tries to help Squidward find his happiest memory. And here is the big point gap I was talking about...our #13 ahead of #14 by a whooping 49 points! I noticed this episode also left SBC's bottom 10 and I think so did mine but it's still one of the lowest points of this show and right now I'm even thinking "should I have put it #14 on my list after all?". I even think it was a nice concept as it's cool to have SpongeBob find a happy memory for Squidward but after he failed to do so, the episode turned into such a dark tone where Squidward felt very depressed and miserable. The suicide jokes are executed in the worst way possible that it doesn't look like I'm watching SpongeBob...I don't feel like ranting too much about it in this review though. The ending is actually the part that pisses me off the most because SpongeBob, unaware of how Squidward is feeling, just kidnaps him in a box and brings him to the Krusty Krab, then surprises him with dozens of papier mâché SpongeBobs. Of course this makes Squidward lose his mind and begins attacking them, but SpongeBob finds this nice to look at??? Sigh, he's sooooo brainless...

18. Sharing is the most wonderful feeling in the world, like dancing with a magical seahorse through an enchanted kelp garden Yours, Mine and Mine - 78 points 5 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #7, @RD Rockruff) (+20) Season: 7 Writers: Luke Brookshier, Nate Cash, Steven Banks Plot: SpongeBob and Patrick fight over a Krusty Krab licensed toy. Wow, this is the biggest jump in the rankings to date, from #38 in 2021 to #18 now!!! I have no idea why it was so low back then because I've always thought this episode was bottom tier. This is another example of how season 7 was so bad at writing the main characters including SpongeBob. I know SpongeBob and Patrick are childish adults but here they straight up act like 4-year old children that can't even share a simple toy. It's so boring as it's basically just them asking back and forth to share the toy as well as lazy chase and fight scenes to fill 11 minutes. Also, the ending is soooo dumb. Everyone talks about Patrick "borrowing" SpongeBob's wallet buy why didn't Mr. Krabs give them each the same toy at the beginning??? All of this mess could have been solved ages ago. You probably wonder..."so the episode wouldn't exist then", well exactly...it didn't need to exist! 17. Hey, it's kind of like I'm the teacher! Summer Job - 79 points 5 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #6, @CakeCup) (+4) Season: 7 Writers: Casey Alexander, Zeus Cervas, Derek Iversen Plot: After Mrs Puff accidentally wrecks the Krusty Krab's doors, she is forced to assist SpongeBob in the kitchen to pay off the damage. Ooooh boy...what can I say about this dreaded episode? This is easily one of the worst episodes I've ever seen in the show and you can't convince me otherwise. First of all we begin with SpongeBob annoying Mrs. Puff as he wants to give her some letter, which makes her crash into the Krusty Krab. She is then hired there to pay off the damages she caused and SpongeBob shows her the ropes. I've already said it earlier but I hate how Mrs. Puff acts mean to everyone, especially SpongeBob when it's not supposed to be this way. After many boring minutes of SpongeBob teaching Mrs. Puff many tasks (role reversal attempt failed), she finally snaps and runs away the Krusty Krab, finds again the letter and rips it into many pieces and guess what? The cops show up and arrest her for LITTERING because of course Mrs. Puff always has to go to jail in the end! Here comes the most stupid part, in jail she takes boating class and the teacher is...SpongeBob???????????? and that was all the letter was about?????? How can he be a boating teacher if he doesn't have his license yet?!? This episode makes ZERO sense, especially when SpongeBob was IN boating school at the beginning.

So, we're entering the bottom 20!!! Things are gonna get more interesting from here, stay tuned! 20. Of all the garbage that comes out of your mouth, this is the least annoying. Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful - 73 points 4 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #2, @OWM) (-4) Season: 7 Writers: Luke Brookshier, Nate Cash, Dani Michaeli Plot: Squidward tries to clean up Bikini Bottom in a day in hopes of earning a statue against his rival Squilliam. I thought this wouldn't make the list cuz at first I didn't see it in many lists but it ended up #20, 4 places less than 2021. Anyways, this is one of these episodes that makes me wonder if I'm really watching SpongeBob. Again, not bottom 15 worthy but it's definitely in my bottom 25 and SBC's ranking pretty much aligns with mine. I have to say I didn't need to see trash for 11 minutes and of course that dreaded gag of the cop giving tickets to Squidward that felt like a FOP season 10 running gag. Not to mention, this episode almost has no energy as the "jokes" drag for way too long such as Squidward fighting the chewing gum or the Squidward's house full of garbage scene. The latter is so uncomfortable to watch as it's pretty gross and Squidward took 15 business days to realize he lived in such conditions. 19. I'm a jobless deadbeat? What a sad existence I don't remember I lead. What Ever Happened to SpongeBob? - 76 points 5 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #5, @OWM) (+7) Season: 5 Writers: Casey Alexander, Zeus Cervas, Steven Banks Plot: SpongeBob thinks that his friends don't like him anymore and decides to leave Bikini Bottom. Along the way, he accidentally bumps his head and loses his memory. "IDIOT BOY" I didn't include it on my list but I'm not surprised it's higher this year. This is one of the most mean-spirited episodes in the show and it's not even funny. So the plot device was making all of SpongeBob's friends out of character and call him "IDIOT BOY" every time he was a nuisance as if he does that every day to them??? You gotta feel for SpongeBob cuz even he seems surprised his friends act this way. Mr. Krabs, who's always been like a father figure to him, was the last straw. Then he leaves Bikini Bottom, falls and bumps his head and as he gets amnesia he starts a new life under a new identity. Then when everyone is looking for him they regret their actions, as predictable. Honestly the New Kelp CIty scenes (besides the gross close-up) are not as bad tbh, my main problem with this episode is how the bad characterization of Patrick, Sandy and Mr. Krabs led to a whole 22-minute special's plot.

22. But Patrick, how are we gonna get to the center of the ocean? The Main Drain - 70 points 4 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #2, @Coffee_lover) (-7) Season: 7 Writers: Luke Brookshier, Nate Cash, Doug Lawrence Plot: SpongeBob and Patrick search for the main drain on the ocean floor that once destroyed Bikini Bottom. First of all, I'm always surprised this legends episode always makes it to the bottom 25. While I think legends episodes mostly suck, this one is bad but I've never thought it was bottom tier. However, this episode suffers from boring writing like 90% of season 7 and it's a mess like...Mr Krabs made us believe two kids pulled the lever but then he confesses he and Plankton did it? How did they survive? This part was never explained. Also, there is another epic twist, it was actually a bedtime story SpongeBob was reading to Patrick. Again, I think the concept was interesting but it was very poorly executed and the twists were very lazy. 21. SO, are you enjoying your stay at Chez Spongéeeee?? Squid's Visit - 70 points 4 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #2, @Clappy) (-9) Season: 6 Writers: Casey Alexander, Zeus Cervas, Derek Iversen Plot: SpongeBob makes his house a replica of Squidward's house as he's desperate to have Squidward visit his home. This is the first episode (and probably only) on this list that I will almost defend I used to hate it years ago but now I realized it has a few funny jokes that don't allow me to hate it anymore, so I'm glad it dropped 9 places compared to the last list. Overall I think it's pretty much a mixed bag though. I still hate the beginning where a crying SpongeBob begs Squidward to visit him and follows him everywhere. The ending is pretty weird and out of place as well. However, from the moment SpongeBob sends him a letter that he borrowed his vacuum cleaner (when in reality he just did it so that Squidward visits him), there are a few laugh-worthy moments like the whole phone call scene or the quote I just used above for this episode which kills me every time.

24. Reading somebody else's diary...that's terrible! Tell me more! Little Yellow Book - 68 points 4 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #6, @Bob Carotte) (-6) Season: 9 Writers: Luke Brookshier, Marc Ceccarelli, Derek Iversen Plot: During their working shift, Squidward finds SpongeBob's diary and starts reading it out loud in the Krusty Krab. Yes, as you can see this is another episode where I'm one of its biggest haters, it never left my bottom 10 since 2013. So...where can I start? This is one of the most unfunny episodes I've ever seen, like it's basically Squidward reading things on SpongeBob's diary out loud to the customers in the Krusty Krab and everyone laughing at him for half the episode which it quickly turns boring. This doesn't seem like a big deal because I still haven't mentioned the worst part. After SpongeBob runs out crying after finding out, the customers pretend they didn't know it was SpongeBob's diary and get offended??? They KNEW it was SpongeBob's and they were clearly enjoying it...hypocrisy at its finest. Then in the second half they treat Squidward like he committed a genocide for reading SpongeBob's diary. All of this sequence is such a writing mess that doesn't make sense. It later turns out that that "diary" was meant to be published but then Squidward gets the real one out of nowhere like bruh??? The ending is probably the worst "here we go again" ending I've seen in the show. 23. Now eat up, I'm gonna go make some enchiladas A Pal for Gary - 68 points 4 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #5, @Dragonball Z) (+6) Season: 7 Writers: Casey Alexander, Zeus Cervas, Richard Pursel Plot: SpongeBob feels guilty for not hanging out with Gary, so he brings him a new playmate which soon starts tormenting Gary. Same amount of points, same amount of lists than LYB, but AFPG is worse because its highest ranking is higher (goddammit i should have put lyb higher , rant on discord incoming ). Seriously though, I'm surprised this episode is in a worse place than in 2021 considering the hate for this episode is lower every year. It was on my list for the longest time but this year I removed it. Despite this I still consider it a pretty bad episode mostly because SpongeBob is fucking dumb and blind. I feel for Gary because he was trying so hard to explain to SpongeBob that Puffy Fluffy is very aggressive to him but he never knew because Puffy transformed back into cute mode very quickly before SB sees his evil self. Honestly, I could tolerate this (I even like the enchiladas joke)... until the you know what scene which I still hate because monster Puffy is right on his face trying to eat Gary and SB still blames Gary????? Everyone was so badly written in S7 but SpongeBob here is just...something else it's unbelievable.

26. Let us apprehend that careless contaminator! Fungus Among Us - 67 points 3 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #1, @Clappy) (+2) Season: 5 Writers: Casey Alexander, Zeus Cervas, Richard Pursel Plot: SpongeBob develops a case of Ick, the nasty itchy sea fungus that grows over everything it comes in contact with. Well, what can I say? This is one of the most gross episodes the show has ever done. Fungus wouldn't make my bottom 15 but I would definitely include it if I were asked to do a bottom 25 list. I'm not a fan of gross-out stuff in general but this is actually not my main problem with this episode. This is another example where the Bikini Bottomites are pretty much assholes and attack SpongeBob just because he is the one who spread the ick. SpongeBob's bubble is popped twice, first by Patrick's stupidity which I guess I can take, but the customers had absolutely no reason to pop the bubble. Weren't they aware that this would make things worse? I guess what saves this episode from being a 0/10 is the ending where Gary, who is a bottom feeder, cures everyone and cleans the Krusty Krab by eating the ick. 25. Did we save Sandy? Rodeo Daze - 67 points 4 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #2, @Shark Tale) (+5) Season: 7 Writers: Luke Brookshier, Nate Cash, Richard Pursel Plot: SpongeBob takes Bikini Bottomites to Texas to save Sandy from a squirrel rodeo, but his attempt to save Sandy backfires. I see Rodeo Daze ended up tied with Fungus in points, but it's higher on the list because more people included it on their lists. Anyways, this episode is so boring and lazy but I don't think it's awful enough to make my list. I even think the concept is pretty nice that could have been more trippy like most of the episode focusing on SpongeBob and company travelling to Texas but nope we got boring scenes of SpongeBob asking everyone to help and people always refusing to the point of SpongeBob insisting and kidnapping everyone in a big bubble with his pineapple inside, oh and the trip to Texas began around the 9th minute and this caused the ending to be rushed. We joke about "The Poor CGI" but this is one of the laziest attempts to animate CGI as you could see in the cows singing the awful Rodeo song and the ending in Texas.

28. WHEN I'M ON THE ROOOOOOAD A SquarePants Family Vacation - 63 points 3 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #1, @RD Rockruff) (+9) Season: 8 Writers: Aaron Springer, Sean Charmatz, Derek Iversen Plot: Patrick goes on vacation with SpongeBob's family to the Great Barrier Reef. Not surprised this episode jumped 9 places because damn, this episode is another borefest but in 22 minutes and it almost made my list as well. I think it's another episode with wasted potential because the idea of a family vacation can be interesting but here it's just not. The Road song is one of the worst songs in the show and I will say it now, it makes the Atlantis songs look like masterpieces. Also, it's weird how this episode is the first major role of SB's parents but then they disappeared for years. I'm glad they already made a great episode for them in S13 but that's another subject for another day. 27. ASSAULT YOUR OWN BABY Slide Whistle Stooges - 64 points 4 of 21 lists (Highest ranking #1, @Wumbo) (-3) Season: 6 Writers: Casey Alexander, Zeus Cervas, Derek Iversen Plot: SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward play with slide whistles. Not a big change compared to 2021 but Slide dropped a few spots. I used to hate this episode a lot but now I'm a bit more soft because of a few funny lines. The sound of this instrument is not annoying to me but I think SpongeBob and Patrick annoy Squidward too much. Then Squidward starts to like it and begins playing it all over the city, annoying all of Bikini Bottom to the point of them celebrating when he crashed a truck. I thought that was too harsh but this is how rude the Bottomites are.