Leaderboard

Many people debate about what they thought of every presidential era politically but after watching old Fairly Oddparents episodes with my brother few days ago, it gave me an idea for a poll. What would you consider the best era animation-wise? Personally, I'd go with the W Bush era. If we were talking about the shows that had the best continuities, I'd pick Obama, but really, most the jokes I've seen from cartoons poking fun at George W. Bush are the best so I'm going with that one. So make your choice! In the meantime, I'm going to Escalatorland!

Episode XXIV: Merchants No, we’re not covering Star Tours characters or anything like that. We’re covering some of the galaxy’s greatest hustlers, and where their business may or may not have taken them. Dok-Ondar On his homeworld of Ithor, Dok-Ondar made his living selling galactic knick-knacks and other nifty treasures that came his way. It was his true passion, but the poor sales he was getting in return just weren’t cutting it. If his shop was to survive, he needed a change of business model. Taking a ship to Tatooine, the Ithorian trader sought out the old masters. “HEY, YOU! COME ON DOWN TO WATTO’S WARES!” Dok-Ondar realized his true place: selling cheap consumer goods for galactic tourists. Relocating to Batuu, he found his niche selling plastic lightsabers and mouse-branded memorabilia. Droogan Droogan continued his sleazy business into the rise of the Empire, trying to con as many people as possible out of their credits. Unfortunately, his hot streak would come to an end when he tried to scam a high ranking Imperial, which did not go over well. He was promptly thrown into prison. Some time later, he came face to face with the man who inspired him to be a con artist: Tak. Tak had conned Droogan out of a serious fortune several years prior, which made him realize he needed to become a conman himself to survive in this cruel galaxy. He wasn’t even sure if Tak recognized him, but he didn’t care, as his chance for revenge was finally here. He promptly shanked Tak to death on sight, and had his prison sentence extended for life. It is said he still pulls cons on many prisoners to this day, and they know better to not mess with him less they end up like Tak. Gragra Gragra was known as one of the most overly protective merchants in the galaxy. One foolish Gungan had tried to steal a gorg from her stand, but she caught him like a hawk, always watching. Many thieves had tried to swindle her out of her goods, but nobody was ever successful at stealing from Gragra in galactic history. Gragra eventually passed away of old age in 11 ABY, but not before passing her merchant defense secrets onto her daughter, Gragra Jr., who was honored to carry on the legacy. Much like her mother before her, Junior never let anyone steal from the stand. Jira Jira sadly never saw Anakin Skywalker again after he left Tatooine. She sensed there was something special about that kind boy in her time knowing him, and she sure ended up being right in ways she didn’t anticipate. She would never get to see this though, as Jira eventually passed away of old age in 23 BBY. The citizens of Tatooine were struck by this loss. They loved her fruits given how scarce it was on the barren planet. Unlike Gragra, she had never found a successor for her business. Several imitators tried to replicate the success of her fruits, but nobody could truly replace old lady Jira. Later in galactic history, an apple brand known as “Granny Jira”, was named after her, showing her influence would live on. Derla Pidys Derla Pidys had a good gig as Canto Bight’s resident liquor saleswoman. She’d spend her days vending alcohol to some of the worst addicts the galaxy had to offer, and promptly watch the casino’s many machines empty her patrons’ pockets. Soon they would be back, and the cycle would repeat itself. It was a lucrative way to live, but not one built to last, as she would soon discover. One day, after what seemed like another shift, a diminutive man greeted her outside the neon glowing building that both of them had spent so much time inside. His name was Dobbu Scay, once one of her most frequent customers, and now Canto Bight’s mayor. He was here to shut this casino down piece by piece, starting with her. As officials led her away, Mayor Scay continued his plans to clear this city up. Business as usual, as you see. Tomorrow we'll be taking a look at more of the galaxy's most feared hunters.