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  1. Today
  2. The true villain has been revealed. And I must say, things are getting spicy my dude.
  3. Umibozu, Gintoki, Ozu, Guano fully medicated on anti-anxiety pills, Yes Man, Shinpachi (being dragged by Gintoki) were exiting the Lilymu Towers. None of them even noticing Yoshi's corpse still laying there after so long. "Man it's good to be out of there finally! Felt like I was gonna burst with cabin fever." Guano stretched out his little furry arms. "Speak for yourself small purple thing. Me and Hasegawa-san were trapped in an elevator for months! Although that wasn't the first time we were trapped somewhere together, there was that island and, ohoho which reminds me, Odd Jobs! Did you ever get my New Years Cards for THIS year?" Kondo said and held up a picture of him giving a thumbs up although he looked very weak and hungry. Hasegawa was lying on the floor. "You... were able to send out postcards out from a broken elevator but you yourself weren't able to escape..?" Shinpachi answered when Gintoki was clearly ignoring the ape man. "Which reminds me... I sent one out to..." Kondou stopped and blushed the thought. "I really hope she'll meet again with me someday." "If you're gonna meet someone, shouldn't you get some new clothes? Uh.." Guano said, still phased at the fact that the large police man was wearing a bunch of his costumes. "That's a great idea! Come on Shinpachi-kun! We gotta look our best for when I propose to your sister!" Kondou grabbed him and sped off. "WHAT!?! BUT THAT'S JUST ELIZABETH-CHAN AND WHY ME!?!?! OI!!" Shinpachi yelled as he was carried away. -- They started walking about in Tokyo, anything was better than being in the Lilymu Towers the entire series. "So what is this nonsense all about?" Ozu rubbed the palm of his hands against his face. "I have a lot of work to do." "I'm surprised at you Mr. Ozu, the fate of Tokyo rests on our shoulders and all you can do is think about work." Umibozu said and accidentally hit his umbrella long stick on Gintoki's long stick. He fell to the floor with pain. "And you Gintoki! Just lying on the floor during this all! For shame." "Yeah I'm just enjoying it down here baldy." Gintoki struggled to get back up. "Mr. Alien Hunter, what is this thing that you're gonna be fighting? A large man or something? How do you know exactly where he is or even know why you're fighting him? This sounds pretty illogical." Guano questioned. "Kid, don't worry. It says right here on this magical scroll that the power within shall reveal who this monster is." Umibozu got out a small paper again. "Isn't that just a fortune cookie paper?" Guano said and Ozu took it out of the yato man's hands. "I can't believe this! You just got this from Howard's Noodles across the street! I know this bogus hand writing anywhere!" Ozu said and tore it up. "HEY! THAT'S HOLY PROPHECY YOU JUST RUINED!" Umibozu said getting angry. "MANUFACTURING NONSENSE!" Yes Man yelled from behind his big boss man. "OI, IT IS. Pachi-boy WAS right. Who would have actually thought he would be? You know what I'm out of here, I don't need anymore of this shit. Especially umbrellas to my balls." Gintoki and Ozu were about to leave when suddenly someone on a giant dog and a rather large dressed up duck halted right in front of them. They were literally two inches away and Ozu/Gintoki had feared for their lives. "OI WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! YOU COULD HAVE RUN US OVER WITH THOSE LARGE PETS YOU-" Gintoki remove the arms from his head and stood up. He saw a woman in the bright shinning light behind her and suddenly by a miracle his stick didn't hurt anymore. "Boys!" Kiyoko said getting off of Sadaharu. Gintoki and Ozu both held out their arms like she was doing but passed by them. She went to hug Guano and Yes Man very tightly instead. "Hi Mrs. Ozu! You look really pretty today!" Yes Man happily said unfazed by everything. "Mama! where have you been? Where are the others who went to rescue you? I've been so worried about you!" Guano said concerned. In the background Sadaharu began licking Gintoki all over, excited to see him and also hungry. "It's a long, long story my babies. But for now we gotta go help them!" Kiyoko said tapping their noses. "What are you talking about Kiyoko?" Ozu said looking up and down at the strange crossdressing duck in front of him. "There's a.. what do they call themselves again? Uuhh, Yatos! A yato war's blowing up my dude! There's at least four of them battling downtown!" Kiyoko said with fear in her eyes. "Granted it's probably one of the coolest things I've witnessed with my eyes and I'd be damned if I didn't convert some of it into manga stories later on with some killer graphic story telling and something that would easily blow out all the other action genre competition... Where was I?" "Something about a Yato battle?" Guano said as she was still nuzzling them. "Going into the unemployment line." Ozu said gravely. "Oh yes. Thank you sweetheart and thanks lousy business man. Yeah it was huge!" Kiyoko said putting her arms up to show it. "I probably could show you something huger.." Gintoki quietly said feeling defeated by the old man's presence. *Kagura, Katsura and Kiyoko's brother-in-law are in trouble.* Elizabeth signed once Umibozu broke her cuffs off with his strength. "Four yatos?! My daughter!?!? Kamui is gonna have to learn proper edicate for people here in Tokyo.. His arrival must be linked with the prophecy.." Umibozu said adjusting his outfit, a strong, dramatic wind came in with the mood but moved his hair patch to the side of his head. Like I said, I'm not doing anymore of this nonsense-" Ozu said but naturally got cut off by his business rival. "Dude, Ozu, like it or not we have to help these people. If this is really Kagura's father then he must have super strength like the others! He can help. I'm in." She declared. "Well if mama's in, I'm in. It's my duty as the Masked- I mean an ordinary citizen to help others out in times' of crisis!" Guano said heroically. "If everyone's in, I'll come back in. Who knows what they're doing to Zura and the Kagura-chan! And I rrreeallly wanna come back in...come in.. where was i coming in again or who was i coming in again...?" Gintoki gushing over at Kiyoko and Ozu hit him in the back of the head enough to push his eyes out of their sockets. "Guess I'll have to stick around, you never know when they'll be disgusting monsters around you to attack.." Ozu said with his hand up ready to strike the silver haired bastard-child if he stepped onto his territory ever again. "Geez Old Man, I never took you for the jealous type. More like the uptight in his ass type." Dadtoki said rubbing his poor eyeballs but Yes Man hit him again for good measure. --- Hasegawa couldn't believe it, everyone actually let him stay back at the Penthouse and just chill. That or everyone forgot about him... Either way he was psyched! "You bet as hell I am announcer!" Hasegawa plopped down with an arm full of snacks on the expensive ass sofa as he turned on the expensive ass TV with the expensive ass remote. He even got his clothes back in a shocking development! After a few minutes of relaxing, the door bell rang. In a nervous sweat, Hasegawa thought to himself, if he rang the doorbell would it ruin his blissful state he was in for the first time in 10 months or 10 years? He couldn't take that chance. But the door was pounded on for a good 15 minutes. "Who is it!?!" He yelled from the couch. The voice just laughed a little. "Please... I'm tired and exhausted. Come back another day!" Hasegawa begged while eating a handful of Lays and watching the Wheel. But Hasegawa gave into his good nature and opened the door. He was shocked to see the two men behind it. "Oh my god......... it's just the owner of the house's son.." Hasegawa went back to the couch and turned the volume up on Family Feud. "Nani?? I am not him. I am Taka-" Takasugi said offended. "And you must be the Bonsai repair man." Hasegawa said. "Yeah that thing looks like it was skipped on a few days of watering, better check it out. Takasugi was about to put a katana to the his head when Madao actually grabbed it from him. "Hey now! Don't be playing with your father's swords! You nearly chopped my head off. Now if I was you I'd go to my room like a good kid. And you Mr. Bonsai Repairman! Go do your job, I'm sure the old man would be quiet upset!" Hasegawa said. Puzzled as fuck, the two terrorists obeyed him out of pure shock as the dude didn't even flinch at their presence. Hasegawa got up to get a few more sacks before the commercial break was over. "Oh hey look, they even have pitless olives!" He said happily. "Man this house has it all! I wish I could have rented one of these out to impress Hatsu." As he was reaching for them, he put his foot on the ledge of the fridge. From his weight, it toppled over, closed the fridge door and fell on top of his now aching body. Madao yelled for help from the other two, yet got no answer. He laid there, beyond words.... His nightmare would begin again... -- "Oi Hijikata-san. I think we might need some back up." Sougo said calmly on the phone as Kagura almost got punched her face in. "CAN YOU KEEP UP?" Kagura yelled angrily to him. "Nah it's fine, I think you got this." Sougo put his arms back to relax but then she fired a bazooka missile at him. He was black from the hit's smoke. "Fine, fine. Make a man do your dirty work. Even in an age where women want to feel more independent, they still bitch on a man's ass to do the job for them." Sougo said. He grabbed the blaster from her and tried aiming at Kamui who dodged every shot. The missiles hit buildings surrounding them and citizens fled in horror. "Oops." ... "YOU FOOL! YOU'RE TRYING TO GO AGAINST THE ONLY PERSON WHO TRULY CARED FOR YOU?" Katsura said to No Man who had him cornered. Katsura's left arm was broken but he still fought strong. No Man looked like he had all the energy in the world. "What are you talking about Baldy? Brozu? That chump never cared for me. He only used me to book party gigs, pay for drinks and to wait for him outside Love Hotels with a cab. Do you know how embarrassing that was for me?!" "That he made you be his third wheel?" Baldsura said slightly cutting him with a katana. "No that I wasn't allowed any fun of my own while he was having fun in there!" No Man said and then hit Katsura in the stomach with a loud blow. He coughed up blood and fell on the floor. "All of you humans are alike. You just take, take, take without thinking if the other person would want to get something in return from all the taking." No Man said as Katsura noticed the sun slightly peaking through. "Well if you don't mind, I'll take just a few more things from you, bruddah." A badly hurt old man ripped away his green cap and sunglasses while he wasn't looking. No Man suddenly realized what happened but the sun had shined on him a little. It burned some off the skin off his face and he yelled in pain. Getting up, No Man whipped out his umbrella and stabbed Brozu in the stomach. "That won't finish the job that easily." No Man said, pinning him on the floor with it. --- Billy Ray- oops, Abuto ran across building tops as bypassers and residents were afraid and concerned. He located the Shinsengumi cars on a highway with ease and dropped 40 stories onto the ground into the front car. It blew up but Hijikata and Yamazaki managed to roll out of it in the nick of time. Fellow officers stopped traffic with signaling others to go another way. "OI just what the hell do you think you're doing Yato..." Hijikata slowly said, got up and pulled out his katana. "Oh man, that soda is really upsetting my stomach now.." Abuto sighed and put his hand on his forehead. --- "We got to get out of here!" Lily yelled as the building had been shot by some sort of bazooka weapon. "Wait!! My soup!" Gonard ran back inside for it as Mitsuki and Lily were trying to stop him. The restaurant building was falling apart quickly and the girls called out for his name. Even asking by passers to help them, but everyone kept running. Some Shinsengumi members and Tokyo police yelled for the girls to leave. They had to take shelter themselves and quickly ran. Several minutes after everything fell, only rubble had remained. Lily and Mitsuki walked slowly up to the remains, both clinching onto each other. Even Lily was sobbing with her. One of their closest castmates and friend had been crushed to pieces somewhere in that wreckage. It was too cloudy to see still, but they knew he was a goner. No question about it. That is until, they saw a tall shadow walking out. A jade colored amanto with muscular arms was carrying a knocked-out blue haired man over his one shoulder and slurping away a bowl with his free hand, "OH SHIT was this seafood stew?" He wondered if he was considered a cannibal now for eating his own kind but drank anyways. ---- Mikey was working alone in his office, enjoying every single jellybean in his grasp. Why he worked for only jellybeans and not currency was his own deal. He was just happy to be able to control over people at free will and he used that power very often. Especially with him snapping lately at people under his control. The former Lilymu star played with several things on his desk in a bored and desperate state. "YOU! BRING ME SEVEN OF YOUR OTHER CLOSEST FRIENDS!" Mikey yelled at one overweight man who had stumbled into his office. "I'm just a janitor-" "DO IT!" The guy slowly made his way out with his mop and bucket with a squeaky wheel attached to it. ... "It's been 45 minutes and the dude STILL hasn't come back here... UGH." Mikey said tapping his foot but then noticed the guy came back with what he requested. "FINALLY!" Mikey yelled seven others. "Uh, we were on duty." One of them angrily said. "This is so unfair, what makes you think you can pull us from work?" Another said. "This is your ONLY duty that matters right now." Mikey said slamming his hands on his desk. "Now then, I want you all to try on this these new traded items I had custom made." Mikey got from his desk and handed each man an outfit. "PUT THEM ON!" They all hesitated but obeyed his rank. The large men came out a few minutes later in uncomfortable looking outfits. "There! MUCH better!" Mikey said as the others looked beyond confused and disgusted. "Now go ahead and read these scripts I made!" The redhead handed those out too but the workers looked at him in a even more weird way. "DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!" "Hi all, It's a great day to see you all in the sunshine today! Even with my phobia of all things living!" A man with Guano's costume mask on said. "HAHAHAHAHAHA. Guano! You and your crippling fears! Hey Gonard!" Mikey laughed. "Hey uh, Mikey. Would you like to have a sandwich with me? I made one for each of us." A Gonard looking man offered an invisible sandwich. "Thanks Gonard, I'd be delighted to ol' chum!" Mikey exclaimed. "Mikey I'm so glad to be with you today! Even though I don't know who I am.." A guy with a Mitsuki costume said. "It's okay! We don't know who you are either." Mikey laughed. "Oh Mikey you are such the kidster." The fake Mitsuki said. "Mikey Simon, why aren't you saying hello to me? Your dear boss, Ozu?" Some dude in a cheap grey wig and suit said in a bored way. "Oh yes I didn't forget about you Ozu." Mikey said smiling. "YES! Let us talk!" Fake Yes Man said reading it word from word. "Or you Yes Man, haha." "Don't say hello to that dork with the lame TV series, Mikey wanna read mint conditioned Captain Impressive comic books? I'll even let your greasy cheeto fingers on them." The Kiyoko imposter man said. "Oh Kiyoko, you're too kind!" "Uhh, hello Mikey. How are you today?" A middle aged dude with blonde wig and really tight/short skirt said. "I'm just fine! Thanks for asking. My do you look lovely today Lily." Mikey smirked and walked over to "her" seductively. "Say... how about we ditch these others and have a picnic of our own...?" Mikey said with wondering fingers on "her" shoulders. "Okay that's enough!" The fake Lily said and the others agreed. The large men walked out murmuring the most nastiest words about Mikey. "HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING! I'M TECHNICALLY YOUR BOSS!" Mikey said running after them. "Well kiss our ass boss." Fake Mitsuki said before leaving. "Great... now I'm really all alone... I really miss my friends.. I should stop hiding behind fake impersonators of my friends... even though that Lily one was turning me on a bit...okay a lot..." Mikey noticed that the janitor was still there doing his mopping job. "HEY! Can't you see I'm wallowing in my own self pity here? BE GONE!" Mikey ordered but the man stayed quietly. "Don't you know it's not nice to yell at people?" After a long gap of silence the janitor suddenly pounced after Mikey. Mikey tried to squirm away but the large man overpowered him. Before the ginger's frightened eyes, the janitor turned into a freaky black giant worm thing. The creature entered Mikey through his mouth as Mikey fell on the ground, gasping for air. The dressed up crewman who came inside Mikey's office when they heard noise went to run away but were met with a black sticky tar fate, plastering their bodies on Mikey's office walls. The redhead gasped for air as organ and tissue in his body was moving at a rapid speed, feeling his blood drained from within. Within another millisecond Mikey's body had transcended into something hideous and large. With only the energy of one last breath, he inched his way to his hand mirror on his desk and picked it up. Mikey started hyperventilating, not even having the strength to let out a scream. His whole face was at least ten times' it's size. "Now let's try this again, you're gonna be my side anchorman named FM or I'm gonna transform you into something fatal. Come on, let's go! We have Skynews on in 15 minutes, fatso." TBC
  4. Get Out
  5. Thoughts on these?: Everybody Have Fun Tonight Notorious You Keep Me Hangin' On Funkytown Don't Disturb This Groove Here I Go Again I Just Can't Stop Loving You Who Will You Run To Respect Yourself Brilliant Disguise La Bamba I Heard a Rumour
  6. not really classic reddit ugh, don't remind me of all the shit I have to do for school. kill me
  7. that AHZU gif terrifies me to no end
  8. badda boom
  9. my dude. i went to just write some ideas down for my chapter that i would do later this week probably but ended up writing a majority of it already within two hours? i guess I got carried away. But I'm definitely looking forward to Mikey's story?
  10. Oh, thank god "Land of Confusion" wasn't absent on this list. The things I would do to you if it wasn't.... For real though, nice list. "Mony Mony" would've probably topped the year for me, to be honest. Speaking of: Mony Mony I Think We're Alone Now Wanted Dead or Alive Don't Dream It's Over (You Gotta) Fight for Your Right Don't Get Me Wrong Hip to Be Square Tonight Tonight Tonight Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You and DEFINITELY Songbird
  11. 1987 was certainly a big year for music. I'd argue that it was probably one of the best hitmaking years of the decade, in that it's had a lot of songs with a long-lasting legacy. Oh, wait, 1983 and 1984 exist. Never mind! You know, as much as we rag on the late 80s for not living up to what the early half of the decade promised, I still think we can appreciate what it gave to us, and I'd argue there's a lot. Maybe it's a little sillier. Maybe it's a tad more disposable. But it's still pop music, damn it, and in every year there's good and bad. And I'd argue there was a lot of good this year. How much? At least enough to fill a top 10 list! So let's get that underway! It's... Wumbo's Top 10 Hits of 1987 Full List:
  12. Mature

    Episode 38: JCMovies The following trailer is rated H for honest. From the member who brought you JCMterviews and is not an SBC member as far as SBCinema is concerned, comes a show that doesn’t steal the format of The Teenj12 show and doesn’t fail miserably as far as JCM and his fans are concerned. It’s JCMovies, JCM’s most popular spin-off that stars you as an asshole in a collection of random sketches! Nope, not movies, sketches. That’s right, we’re back to lying in the titles. Because as we all learned from SBC: The Soap Opera, honesty does not a good show make. Take it from me. Would I tell you the truth? Meet JCM, the totally not generic misadventurous outcast character, as he goes through the totally not generic struggles of trying to fit in at SBC school. Meet all the other SBCers, a bunch of wannabe gangsters who constantly swear, (watch JCM) deface and cause destruction to property, and make fun of the one Nazi kid. Meet the Grim Reaper, someone who was not afraid to laugh at himself or in the face of death. He and his unfitting music shall be greatly missed. The plot of this show can only be described in one way other than a collection of random sketches, and that’s Home Movies on JCMeth. Nothing happens in this show, no one learns anything (especially JCM), and at the same time, everything you could possibly imagine happens and everyone learns the most important lesson of all...that global warming is just liberal propaganda. I told you all that Trump was right! However, let’s not forget the other most important lesson that this show taught us. No, it’s not that all Canadians are bear-huggers or that souls have bodily fluids. It’s that all good things must come to an end. It’s great to see that this show never went downhill, meeting a fitting end as it danced itself to Death. STARRING Puff Daddy as JCM Jjstheguywhoworkseveryjob as Jjsthekid Principal Brown as Principal Nuggets Don’t Fear the Reaper as The Grim Reaper IN JCMovies
  13. I lol'd at that comment, "*not giving a fuck*", with it being a link to an image of Applejack's reaction to a destroyed place. It was eh. I had a rough night at work. Got slammed with all sorts of stuff because of us being short on workers.
  14. daily bump
  15. Via Netflix: "Blinky Bill: the Movie!" It was pretty good.
  16. how was your day?
  17. "Tearing Me Up" - Bob Moses
  18. Mature

    I'm working on the first episode, but I've got a title: The Coming of Hive Fleet Chimera.
  19. Did you hear the new about the MLP movie and that MLP is getting a season 8? <3
  20. PG-13

    Dang, this is good.
  21. Not going to lie. Before I decided on doing 2011 back over the summer, I was contemplating jumping on 1987 but ended up not doing so due to having a hard time coming up with anything to say for a potential worst list on each song. Out of the ones you have on your worst list, I had Shake You Down, I Died In Your Arms Tonight, Lean On Me, and Next Time I Fall on mine. So glad to see all those on your worst list. Just an all around joy to read as always and I can't wait to read your best list.
  22. dude I don't even know what to say, your level of input and your photoshopped images are amazing
  23. Lily, Gonard, and Mitsuki take seats at a local noodle shop in downtown Tokyo. It was a very underground spot, not many people know about it. It was located just about a block away from Lilymu Studios, so the cast were regulars. "The regular, WITH EXTRA MEAT!" Gonard said, it was still thinking of his pal Hamazaki. He rested his head on his hands and stared off in the distance. "Don't worry Gonard, he has to do his job. You guys can always meet up and hang out after this whole mess is solved!" Mitsuki said, trying to console Gonard. "Thanks Mitsuki, I'm glad I have other great friends like you, and Lily, and...wait a minute, where's Mikey at again?" Gonard was looking all over the bar. "That spazz is still at the tower with Ozu. Don't worry about him, I'm sure he's doing just fine." Lily said, slurping some noodles. ---------------------------------------------- "Yes, I'm going to need 500,000,000 units of jelly beans...No I will not negotiate a price! I'm trying to run a business here. Either you get me those jelly beans or you can find a new dealer...Good, I'm glad we can agree for once. Please don't call me again unless you can complete a deal like this again." Mikey turned off his speaker phone. He was given his own office and title of Lieutenant Simon of the Kaientai. Mutsu knocked on his office door and walked in. "Lt. Simon, the captain would like to speak with you." Mutsu said, blankly. "Thanks Vice Capi Tan!" Mikey popped up from his desk and made his way to the ship's front. Sakamoto was staring outside the large windshield, nothing but space in front of him. "The Big Muts said you wanted to speak with me?" Mikey said. "Yes...Mikey do you miss your home, in Japan?" Sakamoto did not break is sight from the empty space. "Well, yeah, I think of my friends all the time. But I'm really starting to get used to the space life! I've been here, what, 10 months? It feels like it's been longer." Mikey said, looking down to the ground. " you wish to return home? I don't want to force you into this harsh line of work, keep you away from your acting career. I only did this as a plot device." Sakamoto said, receiving a knuckle-sandwich from Mutsu for the 4th wall breaker. "Well Captain, I think I could get used to this, you know? I get to do what I want, and by myself! I don't need anyone like Ozu telling me what to do all the time, and everyone else hogging my spotlight!" Mikey said with glee. "You know you are only a Lieutenant, right Simon?" Mutsu said. "That's even better! I HAVE A TITLE!" Mikey said. "What about Kappa Mikey?" Sakamoto said, again getting another fist to the face. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Umibozu took a seat next to Gintoki on the expensive ass furniture and turned the television to Channel 6 SkyNews to keep up with the latest updates. "Can I wear this?" Kondou came out to the living room wearing one of Guano's costumes on just his lower half of his body. "NO! MY COSTUMES!" Guano was a wreck. "It's ok Ozu Junior! I can always go and make you a new one!" Yes Man said, getting out a sewing machine. "No, it's fine, I have plenty..." he glanced over and always saw Hasegawa wearing one while rummaging through the fridge. "I haven't had real food in almost 11 years." Hasegawa said, stuffing food into the head part of Guano's costume. "You, yes, you are the yes man right?" Umibozu pointed at the coolest kid. "YES!" YM said with joy. "I need to see the parental figure. The elder gods demand it." he said, shaking his fist. "More like a paper making factory!" Shinpachi butted in. "Go back with Tatsuma, please." Gintoki groaned. Shinpachi slumped down into another chair, it appears he had given up at this point. Yes Man led Umibozu to the back office. The living room was completely silent, Hasegawa was munching on food, Kondou was putting on more Guano costumes to fit the rest of his body. Gintoki was snoring, Guano sat and stared at the television and turned up the volume. "LIVE WITH CHANNEL 6 SKYNEWS, IT'S F.B. WITH ANOTHER BIG STORY! I'm here on the ground where the scene of the destruction began! This 7/11 was torn to shreds by the impact of dozens of giant ships! I'm standing by with the owner of this store, Raj, who was an eye-witness to this travesty! Raj, what do you have to say?" F.B. handed the mic over to Raj. "THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST DAY OF RAJ'S LIFE. I, SUPERCODPLAYER1995, AM THE GREATEST YOUTUBER WHO EVER LIVED. I AM WAY BETTER THAN PEWDIEPIE, AND MY 7/11 IS BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE'S. THESE SHIPS DESTROYED MY BUSINESS AND RUINED MY FUNDS FOR MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL. IT WAS ALL ORCHESTRATED BY THAT NO GOOD, SUBSCRIBER STEALING PEWDIEPIE! I WILL HAVE HIS HEAD YET!" F.B. took the mic back. "And there you have it folks, we must find that Sweed and bring Justice! Back to you Janet!" F.B. signed off for now. Guano turned the TV off. "News these days." Guano shook his head. Guano looked around the room to see it dead. Meanwhile, YM let Umibozu into Ozu's office. "I am very, very busy right now." Ozu was playing with his pen. "Sir, I have come to your humble abode to fulfill the great Chinese prophecy laid out for us. It says 3 parental figures from different lands will defeat the fat one. I know it means me, you, and Gintoki." Umibozu said. "How do you know it is me? Why not some other old Japanese man?" Ozu said, putting his pen down. " doesn't matter. What matters is that you fit the bill." Umibozu said, scratching his head. "I just want to get work done, and I keep getting interrupted. I hire a cleaning crew, and they destroy my house. Today is not my dad, sir. Now, please leave me alone." Ozu said. "No, you will not be couped up in this office all day. What is happening out there is too important for you to miss. Your cast, your wife, everyone is out there and you are in here, trying to escape from everything." Umibozu put a hole through the door, trying to grab the handle. "Oops." "MY OFFICE DOOR, YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT!" Ozu started to get heated. "Come and get me then." Umibozu ripped his hand out of the door and kicked it into a million pieces and ran for the front door. "GET BACK HERE! YOU PEOPLE JUST CAN'T KEEP COMING IN HERE AND DESTROYING MY PROPERTY!" Ozu kept chase for the Yato. "YOROZUYA, YOU ARE GETTING YOUR LAZY ASS UP AND HELPING ME OR YOU'RE NOT GETTING YOUR MONEY!" Gintoki stood to attention and gave a salute. "Come on Shinpachi, let's go! We can't miss out on this dough." Gintoki grabbed Shinpachi and high-tailed it. All that was left was Guano, YM, Kondou, and Hasegawa. "So, Ozu Junior, should we follow the boss man?" Yes Man asked. "Well, I kind of like it here. It's actually calm here for once." Guano retorted. "No, I'm afraid I have to agree with the Yes Man. I have to find her again, Tae is waiting for me in that wreckage." Kondou said, standing up in front of Guano. Guano ignored the lump of costumes on the commander, and stood up. "Alright, Yes Man, do you have my medications?" Guano said. "No, I'm not your Yes Man." Yes Man said, teasing Guano. Guano looked disappointed and went to the bathroom. "Can I stay back and eat...please?" Hasegawa asked. ------------------------------------------------------------- "N...No Man? But why? We've known you all this time and yet you reveal this to us now?" Kiyoko was shocked, but not really surprised. "Well, let me walk you back to yesterday, Kiyoko." No Man said, instigating the flashback. "Ahh! N-n-n-n-o Man! S-s-s-so good to see you again. It's been q-q-q-q-quite some time! How did you find us in this f-f-f-freezer?" Kamui said, shivering. "I gave you my coat Chief. You shouldn't be that cold. Anyway, how in the world is this Coke lukewarm in this freezer? Is this magic?" Abuto was examining the can. "I had that gut feeling ya know? It's my day off, and I feel like makin it permanent, ya dig?" No Man said. "Now come on, I know where to get that Break Dancin Fool and his pals." No Man said. "And so you have it, the flashback." No Man said. "Well, that was rather weird." Kiyoko said. "You want to end up like your brother-in-law, Kiyoko?" No Man said, slinging his umbrella over his shoulder. "N-no thanks." Kiyoko hid behind Elizabeth. "Leader...let me handle the Nah Man." Katsura leaped off Sadaharu. He drew his sword and took stance. "Nice shine baldy! You really remind me of that bastard father of mine!" Kamui said with a smile. "Don't call me Nah Man, it's No Man." No Man squared up with Katsura. "So, are we going to duel or what idiot brother? I'm not really in the mood to fight you." Kagura sighed, sliding off of Sadaharu. As she was doing so, Sougo finally caught back up with the gang. He got out of his car and noticed the Yato crew. "Fun, more people in my way. Do I really have to team up with this China chick? She's not even tough." Sougo said, getting a swift kick to the shin, nearly shattering it. "Give me that bazooka you mop head." Kagura grabbed it and shot the RPG right at Kamui, where he just gave it a large roundhouse kick, blowing it up. The explosion caused Abuto to spill most of his Diet Cola. "Well, that was a rather displeasing soda pop. I'm mad, and glad at the same time that it is gone. I'll take on the Shinsengumi, Chief." Abuto said, walking over to Sougo. "Well, this should be pretty easy. The Chief's sister already took you out. I should just pour the rest of this cola on your stupid mug." Billy Ray said, pouring the soda, but was interrupted with a sword going through his robotic arm. "Well, here we go again." Abuto said, sighing. Meanwhile, it was just Kiyoko and Elizabeth on top of Sadaharu. Sadaharu woofed at Kiyoko as she looked down at him. "I really don't and can't fight, and she's in handcuffs. I say, take us to LilyMu tower please. I'll give you all the fast food you can eat afterwards." Kiyoko said, in a sweet voice. Sadaharu began to run towards the towers. "The voice works every time bruddah." TBC
  24. PG-13

    Team SpongeBob - Season 9: Divided Ep.140 "Ruins" Sea Star Society, Tribal Camp The S-Jet is seen landing before the entrance of the Sea Star Society village. Two guardsmen stood in front of the entrance of the village, wielding spears and shields. Linda, Mindy, and Tetra exit the jet. "Sorry about the abrupt landing!" Linda called out. "HOLD!" one guard said. Linda, Mindy, and Tetra took pause. "Who are you?" the other guard asked. "We're a special operative troop under Karate Island authority." Linda said, pulling out legal papers. "We understand your village may have been visited by fugitives a few days ago." Tetra said. Suddenly, a woman approached the entrance. "I knew we'd be visited today by disgruntled forces." Queen Ennet said, holding her staff. "Who are you?" Linda asked. "I am Queen Ennet, and my village has been trying to change the way we greet outsiders. However, we don't take too kindly to threats." Queen Ennet made clear. "We're not here to threaten you. We need information. I'd prefer to receive it before the sun goes down." Linda said, looking up. "I am Princess Mindy, the daughter of the late King Neptune, and sister of the current King Triton." Mindy addressed. "Hoping to connect with me, because we share royalty in common?" Queen Ennet asked. "We just need your help. Give us the information we want, and we'll turn right back around." Mindy said. "Very well. What do you heroines seek?" Queen Ennet questioned. "Team SpongeBob. Did they visit your village?" Linda asked. "No." Queen Ennet said. "She's lying." Tetra said. "How dare you make that accusation." Queen Ennet denied. "I sense and control vibrations. I can tell when people lie by the beating of their heart. But, if you want to continue to give us false answers, you should know that Princess Mindy is a telepath." Tetra threatened. Queen Ennet looked unnerved. "Now, the truth. Where is Team SpongeBob?" Mindy asked. ------- Bikini Bottom, Poseidon's Forest Team SpongeBob lands their stolen Quickjet in the uncharted Bikini Bottom forest. As the gang exits the jet, they take in their surroundings. "Way too dark." Aria said. "..And muggy." Alex added. "Start a fire." Sandy said. "Are we seriously camping out here all night?" Aria asked. "I agree with Aria. We're close to the ancient ruins." Alex said. "We're also tired. We're going in the morning, but right now we need to sleep. We have no idea what's waiting for us." SpongeBob remarked. "SpongeBob's right." Sandy said. "Would you stop dick-riding me all the time." SpongeBob said, angrily. Sandy looked shocked. "I'm.. gonna go pick out a good camp spot." Aria said, walking off awkwardly. "I'm gonna.. go uh... get the new tent supplies." Alex said, rushing off back to the Quickjet. SpongeBob felt guilty. "Are you gonna apologize?" Sandy asked. "Are you?" SpongeBob asked. "I didn't do anything wrong!" Sandy said. "You SHOT our friend!" SpongeBob said. "It was a strategic play. We NEEDED a distrac-" "STOP! Okay, just stop! It wasn't just business. It was YOU shooting a close, personal friend of ours!" SpongeBob yelled, holding back tears. Sandy looked remorseful. "Pearl... you shot, Pearl. She could be dead right now." SpongeBob said. "YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT? I tried to pull off a non-lethal shot, but YOU WERE RIGHT. There's no way to know for sure. Instead of making me feel like shit, maybe we can worry a little bit more about all the craziness at hand!" Sandy yelled. "Exactly how I feel. Until I know Pearl is alive, you are dead to me." SpongeBob said, walking to the Quickjet. Sandy walked over to the spot Aria picked out for camp. Aria was seen using her magic to make a fire. "Nice spot." Sandy said. "Everything okay with you guys?" Aria asked. "You know it's not." Sandy said, looking sad. "It's just, this seems like bad timing. Ya know, after you two... slept together." Aria said. "Bad timing. That seems to be a constant with me and SpongeBob." Sandy said. ------ Left Shore General Hospital The next morning, Bonnie visited Pearl in her hospital room. Pearl appeared fragile, but awake. "Hi, Pearl." Bonnie said, standing at the door with flowers. "Hi, come in." Pearl said softly. "These flowers are from everyone at F.I.N. We felt bad that you almost died because of our incompetence." Bonnie said. "No, come on. I'm in this line of work to no fault of my own." Pearl said. "I'm glad you have a positive attitude." Bonnie smiled. "I was a little surprised that you were in on the whole 'capturing' thing. I mean, we all thought you'd be on SpongeBob's side." Pearl said. "It's complicated. I made some mistakes a few weeks ago. Well, not a mistake in my view, but.. I almost lost my job. I thought that the only way to still do some good, would be to roll with the punches. At least for now." Bonnie explained. "That's exactly how I felt." Pearl said. "Oh, and you have another visitor. He was kind enough to let me come in first." Bonnie said. "He? My dad is here?" Pearl asked. "Uh, no. A young man. He wanted to surprise you." Bonnie said. Bonnie walked out. "Wait.. Bonnie!" Pearl called out. Suddenly, Pintar entered her room. "Oh my goodness.." Pearl said, close to tears. Pintar smiled. ------- Bikini Bottom Forests SpongeBob, Aria, Alex, and Sandy made their way to the ancient ruins. SpongeBob kept up reading the map. "Any reason you couldn't of just sped ahead of us?" Aria questioned. "I have this theory about how F.I.N and Linda found us." SpongeBob said. "How?" Alex questioned. "I believe they somehow tracked me using my speed." SpongeBob said. "Theoretically, they could track the particles in spacetime you leave behind as you're zooming from one place to the next. The technology would have to have been advanced, though." Sandy said. "Do we really doubt that a billion dollar agency like F.I.N can do advanced?" SpongeBob asked. "I guess not." Sandy said. After a few minutes, SpongeBob and the gang arrived at their intended destination. "Should be a little beyond these trees." SpongeBob said. Suddenly, SpongeBob couldn't walk further anymore. "Sponge, what's wrong?" Alex asked. "Uh, I can't walk pass." SpongeBob said. Sandy and Aria tried. "He's right, something 'invisible' is blocking us." Sandy said. "It's a barrier. An invisble barrier." Aria said. "Who would put that here!?" Alex asked. "Someone who didn't want a Divine Jewel found." Aria said. "Aria, you have to break the barrier." Sandy said. "Can you use one of the spells from Shin's spellbook?" SpongeBob asked. "No! Guys, when Linda and F.I.N ambushed us, we left all of our travel packs at the old camp. Containing all our personal items." Aria said. "So, you don't have the spellbook?" SpongeBob asked. "Hold on, we're not out of luck. I took a few days to memorize portions of the book. I have a spell for barrier-breaking." Aria said. "Great!" Sandy said. "Alright then, we might actually get this jewel." Alex said. Alex, SpongeBob, and Sandy stepped far behind Aria. Aria began to chant a spell. "Break the barrier, unleash the hold, all secrets come out from the fold. dlof eht morf tuo emoc sterces lla , dloh eht hsaelnu, reirrab eht kaerb." Aria chanted. The barrier became visible for a moment, and then evaporated before their eyes. "Lets go get this jewel." Aria said, turning to the gang. "YES!" SpongeBob said. The four made their way to the entrance of the Ancient Ruins. "I'm a little nervous." Alex said. "Everything will be fine." SpongeBob said, walking through. The gang looked around. The site was filled with statues and busts of majestic-looking fish. "These are of the Fish Gods. The ones from legend." Aria said. "They're beautiful statues." Sandy said. "My mother always used to read me bedtime stories about them." Aria said, getting emotional. "Could they have actually existed back during the first appearance of the Divine Jewels?" Alex questioned. "I doubt it. But, nice sentiment." Aria said. "There's a small temple up ahead." Sandy said. The gang approached the temple. "There's a code to enter through the door." Alex said. "We don't have time for this." SpongeBob said. "You could use your speed to phase through. I don't think F.I.N could track that, right?" Sandy asked. "I don't know.." SpongeBob said. "If you phase through, the door will become unstable on a molecular level. Alex could then destroy it using his powers." Sandy said. "Alright. I'll risk it." SpongeBob said. SpongeBob put his hands to the temple door. Vibrating himself, he phased through. "Incredible!" SpongeBob said. Suddenly, the door exploded in on him. "Oh! Sorry, Sponge!" Alex said. "Fair warning next time, Mr. Jones?" SpongeBob asked, rubbing his head. The inside of the temple was dark-lit, but in the middle, there was an Orb sitting ontop a platform. "An orb." Sandy said. "The jewel could be inside." SpongeBob said. "I don't think it'd be as simple as just taking it." Aria said. "Lets find out." Sandy said, walking up to the platform. "Sandy, wait!" SpongeBob said. "Done too much of that!" Sandy said, walking forward. Sandy grabbed the Orb. Suddenly, her arm started to turn to stone. "SANDY!" SpongeBob yelled. "I can't let it go!" Sandy said, becoming covered in stone. "No! NOOO!" SpongeBob screamed, rushing to her body. ------ Left Shore General Hospital "Pintar! You're awake." Pearl said, crying. Pintar hugged her. Pearl tried to get out of bed. "Hey, hey! Wait!" Pintar said. "I don't care about my stupid condition! I just want to be with you!" Pearl said. "I know, I know. When I woke up, all I wanted to do was get to you as well." Pintar said. "How long? How long have you been awake?" Pearl asked. "A little over a week." Pintar said. "So, you must know about Cassandra." Pearl said. "Yeah, I found out that she committed suicide." Pintar said. "I'm so sorry." Pearl said. "Everyone keeps saying that, but I'm not sad. She was a horrible woman. An even worse mother. I feel nothing for her." Pintar said. "That's similar to what I felt for my dad two years ago. A year later? I patched things up with him. I realized that life is short, but love lives on forever." Pearl said. Pintar shed a tear. "There's.. there's some things I can never say to her. Things I wish I could." Pintar admitted. "That's okay." Pearl said, grasping his arm. "Thanks." Pintar said. "When I get out of here, maybe we can go on a long overdue date night." Pearl laughed. "Pearl.. I.." "Too soon? Sorry." Pearl said. "No, it's just.. I don't think we should." Pintar said. "What do you mean?" Pearl asked. "I think we should let each other go." Pintar struggled to say. "Pintar, I.. I waited for you for over a year." Pearl said. "I know. But, like you said. It's been over a year. I need to go and figure out who I am with all these changes I woke up to. And you have already moved beyond me. You need to focus on your life right now." Pintar told her. Pearl began crying. "Where will you go? Will I see you again?" Pearl asked, whimpering. "Of course you will. But, I need to find somewhere I belong. It's not here on Karate Island anymore." Pintar said. "I'll always love you." Pearl said, smiling. "And I'll always love you." Pintar said. The two shared a final kiss. "You be safe out there." Pearl said, as Pintar walked off. Pintar just turned around and winked. Pearl watched as he walked out the door. "Goodbye, Pintar." Pearl said, smiling. ------- Ancient Ruins, Bikini Bottom Forests "Aria! Can you help, here?" SpongeBob asked. Aria stared at the stone-encased Sandy. "Hmm.. I have a spell for this." Aria said. "It's so cool to have a witch on the team!" Alex said. "!esrever ,esrever ,esrever" Aria chanted. The stone effect reversed. Sandy dropped the Orb. "Oh my god!" Sandy said. "Are you okay? I was so worried." SpongeBob said. "Were you now?" Sandy questioned. SpongeBob looked at her with an intensity. Alex shot an electric blast at the Orb. The Orb opened up. "There's a jewel inside!" Aria said. "According to the book the Society gave us, the Power jewel is green." SpongeBob said. "This must be it." Sandy said. SpongeBob picked it up, and closed it. "Let's get out of here now." SpongeBob said. The four ran out of the temple, however a surprise awaited them. Linda, Mindy, Bonnie, Ridley, and Director Kyle Reeves stood some distance away. "Oh shit.." Alex said. "SpongeBob, it's over." Linda said, standing in the middle. "Did they track your speed?" Sandy questioned. "This was too fast." SpongeBob said. "They talked to the Sea Star Society." Sandy said, realizing. "Doesn't matter how we got here. What matters is we're taking all of you in." Kyle said, holding the Speed Swiper. "SpongeBob, steer clear of Kyle. He has the speedster weapon." Sandy said. Sandy, Aria, and Alex charged at the opposing side. "Take no prisoners!" Linda yelled, as her side charged. Linda shot a light beam at Sandy. Sandy jumped up, missing it. Alex shot a lightning blast at Linda. Linda did a cartwheel, avoiding the strike. SpongeBob speeded over to Kyle. "You're bold!" Kyle said, raising the Speed Swiper. Aria used dark energy to put a hold on the gun. Mindy shot a telekinetic blast at Aria. "UHH!" Aria grunted, hitting the ground. SpongeBob used his speed to run as Kyle shot out a blast. Bonnie tried to strike Sandy will her batons. Sandy kicked one of the batons out of Bonnie's hands. Bonnie took a step back, as Ridley tried to swing at Sandy. Sandy grabbed his wrist, twisting it. Sandy then kicked Ridley in the face. Alex shot an electric blast at Bonnie's baton. "Ouch!" Bonnie yelled, as it electrocuted her hand. Sandy kicked her in the stomach, and then flipped her over. Linda shot a light blast at Alex, as he hit the ground as well. Kyle took another aim at SpongeBob with the Speed Swiper, hitting him. "SpongeBob!" Sandy yelled, avoiding Linda's light beams. Aria tried to use her powers to help, but Mindy used her telepathy to put a pyschic hold on Aria. "YO-UR..NOT...THE ONLY ONE..WITH PSYCHIC POT-ENTIAL!" Aria said, unleashing dark waves of energy at Mindy. Mindy saw her father, Neptune. "Dad?" Mindy asked, being tricked. Aria shot a blast of dark energy at her. Meanwhile, Linda finally blasted Sandy, who was launched backward. "We're not gonna win this today!" Alex said, over coms. "Sandy, I'll hold Linda. Alex will hold Kyle. Get SpongeBob out of here." Aria said. Linda picked up the Orb from SpongeBob. "Thanks." Linda said. Aria pulled Linda back with a magic spell. Sandy ran over to SpongeBob. "Come on! We gotta go!" Sandy said. Kyle took another aim with the Speed Swiper. Alex kept pelting him with electric blasts. The ground started to shake. "Oh no, it's Tetra!" Sandy said. Tetra ripped out of the ground, making a grand entrance. "GO! We'll hold Tetra!" Aria yelled at Sandy and SpongeBob. SpongeBob and Sandy escaped. Aria and Alex shot their blasts at Tetra, who made a vibrational barrier. Tetra then released a surge of sonic energy, knocking out Aria and Alex. "Two down, two to go." Tetra said. In the forest, Sandy and SpongeBob walked as quickly as they could. "Can you walk without my support now?" Sandy asked. "The feeling in my legs is starting to come back." SpongeBob said. The ground began to shake. Once again, Tetra ripped out of the ground. "Your new signature move, Tetra?" Sandy asked. "I get more powerful by the day. You and SpongeBob get more STUPID." Tetra said. "I'll fight her." Sandy said, taking SpongeBob's arm off of her shoulder. "Just surrender, guys! I don't want to hurt you." Tetra said. "Don't worry, you won't." Sandy said. "Because you're not gonna catch us." SpongeBob said, finally using his speed to get him and Sandy away. "Dammit!" Tetra said. SpongeBob speeded him and Sandy into the stolen Quickjet. "SpongeBob, you need to go back and get our friends!" Sandy said. "I'm not fast enough right now. Even what I did just now took a lot out of me." SpongeBob said, out of breath. Sandy looked sad. "Sandy, they sacrificed themselves for us. We can't let that go in vain! Now get us out of here!" SpongeBob yelled. SpongeBob buckled in, as Sandy started up the jet. With that, the Quickjet blasted off, away from the Bikini Bottom Forests. NOTES: Team Linda and F.I.N capture Aria and Alex. SpongeBob and Sandy escape. Pintar and Pearl reunite, but bid each other farewell. The Power Jewel is found, but is in the possession of Team Linda and F.I.N. First appearance of Bikini Bottom since Season 8. Main Characters Absent: Debbie
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