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OMG, would you look at that! Goobz is reviewing vidyaz! He loves da vidyaz! I sure am, dumbasses! :) Now read and feel the nitpicking throughout your soul...

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Goobz Reviewz... Sonic Forces

sigh Sonic Forces... I really wanted to like this game, especial considering this was the game for the 25th anniversary (yikes!), I really did... but I just couldn't bring myself to appreciate anything whatsoever in this. I'm sure the only thing I probably thought was impressive was the graphics. The new Hedgehog Engine certainly is a marvel on current gen consoles but that doesn't save this game from being one of the most mediocre games of the year. First of all, the art style. I want to like it, but it is generic as hell. There is definitely a consistent theme of things like burned buildings and gloomy skies but there are other themes to add variety like Green Hill... um... Casino Night... and Eggman's Base??? Alright, that's a problem too, the variety is actually extremely lazy in this game for bringing back these zones for the 100th time for the sake of nostalgia pandering, which has been done to death in the series by now. I can give props to the plot though, but that really is the only good thing I can say because the writing is not executed well at all. Sonic got traumatized! Oh no! Oops, nevermind he's the same... what even was the point of that? Power of friendship defeated Eggman? Yeah, i wonder where I have seen that before. Hmmmm... my mind is pretty cloudy on which game it is... Eh, it's probably nothing. Anyways, now we get to the main meat of the game, the gameplay! The gameplay revolves around using three characters (at least it's a step up from only one character for so long), where you can play as Sonic, Classic Sonic, or your very own custom Avatar! Now to get to nitpicking each and every one of these damned characters!!! Sonic: Free movement is non existent with him, his speed cap is painfully noticeable, and his stages really only take a push up of the left control stick and maybe you tap A once or twice. Oh, but you always gotta be holding X. It's not like it decreases the challenge of the game or anything! What if the boost gauge running out? Pshaw! Never! Not with so many goddamn wisp capsules in every level! Classic Sonic: Speed cap is so noticeable it left a scar in my brain, his stages are just Sonic 4 all over again with the shittiest physics I have ever seen! He is running so fast, then he comes to a slope and he slows down in a second. That is strange... He hits a spring and if you move him to the right, he barely budges! Even more strange... Bah, I've came to accept that Classic's levels were just there for nostalgia pandering and putting actual effort into it came last.  Avatar: Way, way too much fucking movement. Your avatar is on ice the entire time, look out! Don't slightly push up on the left control stick or you'll slide into the abyss! The weapons are pretty lame for the most part and do nothing extraordinary but take out enemies in a herd or a circle, I guess. Even better, no dialouge for your Avatar despite your Avatat only having the choice of 3 voices! Wow, a lot of work sure went into this game, huh? But don't forget the music. Oh, the music. Despite this game sucking ass at everything else, the music really is outstanding. Despite what most say, Classic's stage music is actually pretty nice! Modern's stage music is just as good! Avatar's I don't like as much, but I can appreciate it too. Sonic could suck sometimes, but damn was the soundtrack always a part of looking on the bright side of every bad game. Unfortunately, music cannot save how bad this game is. Final Ranking: BAD Final Words: The blueprint said you were going to build a skyscraper, and you build a cardboard box with a bunch of windows drawn on it instead.

M. Night Shyamalan

M. Night Shyamalan

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