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  1. Santa Motu
    Latest Entry

    cuz guess what, schools canceled for the entire day

    PWMDSOKDOWSISKIZDKSKDKDJDNFUSJAISM

  2. Remember when I said that I was keeping a surprise for you guys? This is it right here. You've read the title and now you're all probably asking yourselves, "why? Why are you going to watch every single episode of a show that plummeted in quality since Season 7/8/9/10?" See, no matter how awful the current state of FOP is in these days, I still consider myself a fan of this show. The show that I loved ever since holds so much nostalgic value for me and FOP is a part of why I've wanted to get into the animation industry myself, much like SpongeBob. I'm also going to give all my respect to Butch Hartman when it's due. Like I've already said once, forget all that I've said when I blamed the show's decline on him when all my blame goes to his current writing team. Speaking of which, I'm not going to say names during my reviews, even when I get to the later seasons like seasons 9 and 10, because I'm not the kind of guy who curses out the people who wrote my least favorite episodes. Some of my criticisms for certain episodes will sound harsh, but I'm still going to make myself sound fair towards them. Unrelated to this post, don't worry about my Top 10 Phineas & Ferb episodes list, I'm going to get back to it after this. I was planning to get it out by August but something bad came up during the timeframe I was going to write it up, which is why I put it on hold for such a while.

    And yes, I'm technically ripping off PieGuy's Every SpongeBob Episode Reviewed format, but I felt like someone was gonna have to do this kind of thing with The Fairly OddParents. No one has done it yet, so why not that I do it right now? Hoping that you guys won't pull a Vailskibum on me and call this review series a rip-off on point, I'm going to start up my reviews with the short series of episodes that started it all: a series of shorts that some fans have collectively called "Season 0," otherwise known as the Oh Yeah! Cartoons years.

    Before I begin, here's the ranking system:

    "Excellent" = Solid 10/10. I absolutely enjoyed and appreciated this episode.
    "Great" = Ranges from 8 or a 9 out of 10. I really liked this episode.
    "Good" = A 7/10. Not quite up there, but I found this episode pleasant enough.
    "Okay" = A strong 6/10. This already speaks for itself.
    "Meh" = Ranges from a strong 5 to a light 6 out of 10. I found this episode mediocre at best, but not too detestable either.
    "Scum" = Or should I say..."Fairly ScumParents episode." Hahaha no. "Scum" is only up my alley. Operates at a 2-4/10. I loathed this episode.
    "Irredeemable" = A solid 1/10. Not only have I really despised this episode, but I would treat it as a cautionary tale and convince fellow viewers to avoid it at all costs.


    "The Fairly OddParents" - For those who don't know, The Fairly OddParents had its start as a series of 10 short episodes for Oh Yeah! Cartoons. This was the series that clicked with Nickelodeon right away before it officially premiered in 2001. The show first debuted from the variety series on September 4, 1998, which makes the show slightly older than SpongeBob SquarePants by that technicality. This short in question is exactly how the main story of FOP starts. Timmy is left at home with Vicky babysitting him one day. He wants Vicky to stop pushing him around and for his parents to return home from the movies soon enough before he unexpectedly meets his fairy godparents to help grant his wishes whenever he feels miserable. So, the main question about this episode is: what do I think about? Is it such a classic start? It would definitely be a classic if I give this an "Excellent" rating, but re-watching this episode, I feel weirded out towards some bits. One thing you'll all tell me right away is Cosmo's voice, which sounds deep in comparison to what Cosmo's voice has sounded like since such a long time, or Timmy's voice originally being provided by the late Mary Kay Bergman. Those two things considered, the weirdest thing, however, is that FOP's Oh Yeah Cartoons' art style feels very simple in comparison to the successful show. This style that Butch went for makes me feel like the show is taking place during the 60's or 70's because the short feels like it was made during that time period, not that I'm saying it's a bad thing, but it's what gives 1998's FOP that unique feel. When it comes to the story, the first half is great. As for the latter half, it's basically nothing more than Timmy's fairies giving Vicky a taste of her own medicine. Some of the slapstick from those scenes are pretty creative, but I wouldn't really consider this a classic introduction to the then-show. So, I feel this short is deserving of this ranking: Great.

    "Too Many Timmys!" - In this episode, Vicky lies to Timmy's parents that her back is not feeling very well and they leave Timmy alone with her and to take care of her while they go to the plunger festival. Of course, this means that Timmy has to do everything that Vicky asks for him to do. Already knowing that he doesn't want to handle it, Timmy wishes up 44 1/2 clones of himself. Likewise with the past short episode, it's a simple concept with a simple story, but I really got some entertainment from this one. I liked the tiny Timmy clone, and I also really liked the scene with the barbershop quartet of Timmys, and the one bit where Vicky sees another Timmy clone while holding onto another. It's a simple yet entertaining comedic episode that warrants this ranking: Great.

    "Where's the Wand?" - Want to know a little something funny about this episode? When Nickelodeon used to re-aired these older episodes to promote the Crimson Chin and Cleft webtoons, this particular episode never re-aired and so I never heard of this episode until I discovered on the Internet that there was another Oh Yeah! Cartoons short of FOP that I never saw. Anyways, this episode starts off with Timmy's parents coming home after Vicky babysits Timmy. Vicky was getting ready for a costume party at her school. In the meantime, Timmy is playing pirates with his fairies until Timmy knocks Wanda's wand out of the window, eventually landing in the emergency costume supplies that Vicky was carrying over to the party. This prompts for Timmy and his fairies to try and get the wand back as they fear what Vicky could do with the wand's magic. The final result is a  pretty typical episode where hilarity ensues, but there was a lot of funny moments here and there, like Timmy and his fairies heading to the dance in form of a pumpkin coach, the dull-sounding German band, and the parents' continuing involvement with mundane stuff (i.e. going to a sprinkler foundation meeting), likewise in the last episode I talked about. Great.

    "Party of Three!" - Once again we have another episode dealing with Vicky coming over to babysit Timmy, but in this short, Timmy tries to prove his parents that he can take care of himself at home. Timmy's parents trust him and tell Vicky otherwise that she doesn't need to babysit him now, and so Timmy decides to poof up a party in the Turner household for that occasion. Vicky then decides to spy on Timmy to see if he really is doing good by himself and instantly notices that Timmy is having a party in his house. Candace- I mean, Vicky sees this as an opportunity to bust Timmy and convince his parents to come home to prove that Timmy is reckless by himself, only for them to come to Timmy acting well-behaved and all and for Vicky to end up wasting their time. The episode doesn't have a happy end, as it ends with Timmy's parents noticing Timmy's poor dental hygiene, prompting for his parents to depend on Vicky to continue taking care of him. Despite that, I think this episode cemented FOP as a soon-to-be hit for Nickelodeon, because there was a lot of good jokes in the short, and for the most part, it was really fun to watch, even at this time. The ending can feel a bit like a cop-out, but it was an unusual and reasonable way to stick to the status quo. As for the jokes, I really like the emergencies gag. One joke that struck me the most was this line: "What is this fascination with my fanny?" In short, it's a charming and mostly entertaining episode that I think moves beyond the "Great" rating. In other words... Excellent.

    "The Fairy Flu!" - Timmy gets invited to Tootie's birthday party, but he's not all happy about it because Tootie has a massive crush on him and she's Vicky's little sister. In the meantime, Cosmo has been sneezing a lot, creating a discharge of unusual fairy magic in the process. As it turns out, Cosmo has the Fairy Flu. Eventually, regardless of what kind of trouble Cosmo may cause while he's sick, Timmy goes to Tootie's party before Wanda eventually catches the same flu and Timmy has to cure his two fairies in the guise of balloons. In the end, Timmy gives Cosmo and Wanda sauerkraut in order to cure the flu before they manage to turn Vicky back to normal. Unfortunately, Timmy gets sick due to his sauerkraut allergy, thus allowing for Vicky to watch him and for Tootie to take care of him. Again, it's not a very sweet ending, but regardless, the episode was still very entertaining. Some of the jokes I found pretty funny was Timmy's house being sent to space, Tootie opening up the door to see Timmy having a toilet for a head, the gag with the distressed clown at the party, and the one bit with Vicky explaining the party rules only to turn into a frog. It's a funny, well-written episode, if not one of the absolute best due to the ending. Great.

    "The Temp!" - Halfway through the shorts and we get an episode that focuses more on Timmy and his fairies and a lot less on Vicky. In "The Temp!", Timmy is assigned a temporary fairy godparent while Cosmo and Wanda renew their godparent licenses at the Godparent Academy with Jorgen. Timmy's temp eventually arrives, who happens to be an elf whose only kind of magic is the ability to make toys. Eventually, the elf, Jeff, proves more to be a lousy replacement when he can't meet most of Timmy's demands. The two subplots with the academy and the temp go on until Timmy's room catches on fire. Before Cosmo and Wanda could wish the fire to be put out, Santa Claus arrives to find Jeff, who happened to have had stowed away from the North Pole before the episode ends with Timmy's room back to normal and Cosmo doing an impression of Jorgen. Yeah...you can tell by my need to summarize that I didn't remember this episode so well, let alone enjoy it. It's still an alright episode, but it has its flaws, like the two subplots that just don't add as much interesting. I did like the concept though and I feel there could've been more ground to cover for it. Okay.

    "The Zappys!" - In this short episode, Timmy's fairies get nominated for a Zappy award and so the trio attends the ceremony hosted by a fairy version of Billy Crystal. Meanwhile, Timmy's buck tooth becomes loose and fears that he'll lose it for good. At the awards ceremony, Jorgen constantly forces Billy Crystal Ball to give him every Zappy that he's nominated for due to every fairy in Fairy World being afraid of him. In the last award presented, Timmy tells the audience why he loves his godparents so much, that it makes Billy Crystal Ball refuse giving the award to Jorgen and to give it to Cosmo and Wanda. Jorgen tries to take the Zappy from Timmy, but when that happens, Timmy's buck tooth falls out after getting hit by the Zappy, causing the Tooth Fairy, one of the most famed fairies in Fairy World, to appear at the awards show. Because Jorgen is in a relationship with the Tooth Fairy, he gets nervous and ends up trying to make up to Timmy after angering the Tooth Fairy for knocking his teeth out by giving him his own pair of teeth. Final thoughts, there were some very good moments in this episode. Some of the jokes that really got me was the one scene with Jorgen threatening Billy Crystal Ball to start the ceremony without skimming through his jokes, and the little freakout from the Tooth Fairy about showing up in public without her makeup. However, the best moment in this short episode was Timmy explaining why he loves his fairies so much. It's also one of those moments that strongly defined FOP for what it was, but other than that, there was also the bit where Cosmo and Wanda tell Timmy that they didn't care about winning their award and care more about spending time with their godchild, that moment in which is equally as heartwarming. So yeah, it's very pleasant and enjoyable for a short episode. Excellent.

    "Scout's Honor" - Here's a little interesting fact coming from me, this particular short episode was my first exposure to The Fairly OddParents in general. I was interested in the concept that this pitch for a show was going on and thought it could catch on at some point. I don't remember exactly when I came across this, but I was right. FOP would eventually be greenlit and become one of Nickelodeon's most successful shows. Anyways, "Scout's Honor" deals with Timmy trying to earn a Squirrel Scouts badge for capturing a mythical creature. Pretty interesting to note, Timmy denies help from use of fairy magic through his Squirrel Scouts knowledge by citing a passage from his handbook. Meanwhile, Vicky, camp counselor of the Cream Puffs scouts, attempts to scare Timmy by pretending to be Bigfoot. As for some of my other thoughts on the episode, I thought it was good, there was a sizeable amount of good jokes like the spiritual Bigfoot joke, and Vicky blackmailing the Cream Puffs with their report cards. (the scene in particular that shows that someone apparently failed in Lunch.) I also liked just how knowledge and dedicated Timmy is as a Squirrel Scout, as it serves as an unintentional way of proving that Timmy is very talented in something whereas the later show would write Timmy's character as someone who's good at such things like perfect attendance and what else. Because of these moments, this short episode barely attains an 8/10 rating for me. Great.

    "The Really Bad Day!" - I'm going to make this one brief since I barely remember much from this short episode. In this episode, it's Cosmo's turn to be "bad," due to a tradition where a certain fairy has to be bad for a certain amount of time. However, Cosmo is not very good at being bad, and so Timmy uses fairy magic to enlist Genghis Khan to help Cosmo to be bad before he becomes bad enough to devise a plan to blow up the Earth. I think there could've been more done with the main concept, but in retrospect, I found this episode slightly more enjoyable than "The Temp!" The episode also ends in a fairly light note, which is decent enough, but at the end of the day, it's still alright in my eyes. Okay.

    "Super Humor" - Last episode from Oh Yeah! Cartoons, and interestingly enough, it premiered at the same time that the official show did. I really like the main concept with Timmy trying a variety of superpowers only to notice that they have their own pitfalls. What really got to me was when Timmy becomes Turbo Timmy and wishes up a villain before wishing for super vision to find its weak spots, and the wish ends up being parental supervision. I have to admit, this was one joke that really flew past me when I was younger. When it comes to the other jokes, there isn't much I can say. Otherwise, "Super Humor" is decent at best. Good.

     

    And that's all of them. For an EP-sized season - a series of shorts from Oh Yeah! Cartoons, no less, my final thoughts on this unofficial seasons is that it's a really great one. Great. It's filled with some really good charm, wit, and some of the shorts are forgotten gems when it comes to the series in general.

    Now, because this is a short season, I'm going to break them down to my top three, with my third favorite being "The Fairy Flu!": an interesting premise with a good amount of wit that barely missed the excellent tier. Second place is "Party of Three!": an episode I remember enjoying during my youth and still enjoy to this day. Lastly, my choice for the best Oh Yeah! Cartoons short for FOP is undoubtedly "The Zappys!" Humorous and heartwarming all the same. As for my worst...I don't have a bottom three, and there isn't even a short that I could consider as such. However, just to pick one that I've enjoyed the least, that honor would go to "The Temp!"

    That's 10 down and...283 episodes/segments from the main show to go. It's a long road ahead for me, and it's also going to be a long road before I touch down on the first episode that I gave a "Scum" rating. Hopefully I'll get my next review for Season 1 out in January, and I'll also try and pick up the pace by reviewing the Season 2 episodes on that same month. Till then, see you guys on the flip side.

  3. Hey, I'm back for another Christmas episode, mini-review, would be the best way to say it. Anyway, today I'm going to be covering, for our next Christmas episode, is White Elephant Gift Exchange from Regular Show. This is an episode I've never actually seen before. Here's the thing. When this episode comes out, Regular Show was hitting a bit of...... seasonal rot. Regular Show has always been good though, save for a couple of stinkers, but there was a dip in quality around when this episode came out (Season 6), that managed to repair around late Season 6 and the show was really great again in Season 7 and 8. Are these episodes bad in 6? No, but I haven't seen most of them, and to keep things fresh I wanted to review an episode I've never seen. I stopped REALLY watching Regular Show around Season 5 and really got back into it during Season 7, so yeah, I haven't seen a lot of Season 5/6 episodes. 

     

    Enough with all of that, on to this episode. This episode's plot is very simple. The park employees are tired of Muscle Man's prank gifts during their annual white elephant gift exchange, so the park members except for Muscle Man (obviously) plot to rig the gift exchange to get back at Muscle Man. Very simple, but the episode is only 11 minutes long, and it works! This is a pretty good episode, and it's biggest advantage is the fact it's very festive and fun, and manages to be pretty funny too in the way during the gift exchange it constantly keeps building tension to Muscle Man opening their gift to get back at him and the ways the show builds tension are pretty funny. It's simple, and it doesn't need to be complicated. It's straight forward and easy to jump into. Is it amazing? No, and it's not this show's best Christmas episode (that award goes to The Christmas Special where they have to destroy that one gift). This episode's definite highlight is the scene at the end where Muscle Man opens his gift, in slo mo, as everything in the gift attacks him, which it's actually a really nice detail that the gift contains much of the bad gifts Muscle Man has given to the other employees. One flaw I do have for this episode is the scene with the actual White Elephant seems a bit.... abrupt and kind of useless for lasting only a little bit. But other than that, it's a pretty good episode.

  4.  

    I admit its kinda late to write this considering the storm happened over a month ago but this was the right moment to post this since I finally uploaded the pics I took online. Anyway, as you all might have known, Hurricane Maria struck Puerto Rico on September 20th. At first it looked like it was gonna be just another storm but then the intensity increased to category 4 and later to 5 and that was when things got ugly. We still had things in storage from Hurricane Irma before that so we thought we'd be fine but then the storm struck. I woke up that day hearing the strong winds slam into the windows, but when I looked outside it looked really ugly, the trees and power lines were struggling to stay standing, then I saw the roof top of one of my neighbors fall off due to the strong winds.

    And then came the ugliest part, the winds near the eye wall were so strong that all of a sudden the trees in my house fell, including tall trees and all the palm trees in my backyard and nearby. It was really scary since even the house started shaking due to the wind's pressure, and that point we had lost all communication with the outside world since the phone lines broke down. Not to mention, one of the windows in my room was broken and we had to fix it by putting some steel bars to hold it down, my room was starting to flood also but I took out my personal belongings before the storm so they're ok. On the next day, we got to see all of the destruction, man it was horrible, the entire mountain near my house was without trees, well more like everywhere really, every single tree fell, it was that bad, it was a true catastrophe. The road was blocked for like a day until we helped clear it out of the way, but picking up all the fallen branches was a nightmare since they were everywhere, there's still some left since they were so many.

    When I first traveled in car outside our home, the destruction was everywhere and there were lines in gas stations, bakeries, you name it. A lot of places were closed so it was hard to get any basic goods. The lines in gas stations were awful, at one point we had to stand in line for 8 hours to get gas, it was that bad. In some places there's still lines for food and gas but the lines are not as bad. There were riots and looting in some places, and even murders just to get food to the point where the government had to declare a curfew at night since robberies were everywhere. Getting food was hard and we had to do long lines to get some, the restrictions felt like if I were living in a communist country, and it really felt that way. The water service was down for two weeks and getting water to drink was hard since you know, drinking tap water in Puerto Rico is not safe like it is in the US or Canada. We had to boil tap water in order to drink it, and it tasted awful, but then like a week later we managed to get donations from the municipal government and a box from Unicef that had arrived in my dad's workplace, they included water bottles and some basic stuff for eating and cooking and with that we managed to survive for all this time. Like a week after I started college again since my dad passed near my university and told me he saw some students there, but the place didn't have power and a lot of students quit because of the difficulties in transportation, to this day we're still struggling with the power in college so doing work has not been easy. 

    Things are still hard let me tell you, the power still hasn't come back and transportation is still hard to find. But since I live in the San Juan metro I have it better than a lot of people on other parts of Puerto Rico. Some parts in the center of the island were completely destroyed since there's mostly poorer areas there and people are now suffering since a lot of roads were ravaged in those areas, plus its hard for the government and rescue teams to reach there since they're so remote. Our government had even contracted some American companies to help restore the power but then they canceled the contract since there were gonna have high salaries and a lot of people saw that as unfair since a lot people are still suffering and lost everything. Still, with that cancellation it will take longer for the power to come back. :/ Hopefully our local power company does something right, even if the workers are at odds with our government due to their policies. And also hopefully they will work together and bring all the outside help they promised because this is not looking good and a lot of people are leaving. I swear they risk a revolution if this is not fixed soon since a lot of workers are not being payed enough and a lot of people are not currently working.

    But anyway, my wish is that things get better and I finally get power at home, hearing the power plant everyday is getting on my nerves. At least now I have some internet connection in the backyard which means things are getting better right? we'll see.

     

    Here's some pics I took:

    Spoiler

    59fc92174b7c3_HuracanMaria1.thumb.png.f939572745f049e8f4b7baa0a8a4c248.png

    Lines at gas stations:

    59fc92f14e6ec_HuracanMaria2.thumb.png.44c7f372c411d6a0ff2b65e040820d25.png

    Empty shelves in supermarkets:

    59fc93764541c_HuracanMaria3.thumb.png.1baea55db8f5fa852338e75727a657b2.png

    59fc940040b44_HuracanMaria4.thumb.png.e804289092a63c4dae47c273e76ab9e5.png

    59fc94c64657a_HuracanMaria6.thumb.png.2e82da5e169bd8e764363f0f29e824a6.png

    Food regulations:

    59fc95ba67ba4_HuracanMaria8.thumb.png.5043005a6563e854bd7d85b67b9cac6e.png

    59fc96adbe51c_HuracanMaria11.thumb.png.0dbb8a3ca7900f6a504cc6e4715f9974.png

    People are getting more patriotic lately:

    59fc9757c5dd1_HuracanMaria9.thumb.png.7f667e28b02f4a5ee30890a51a3cca78.png

    59fc9812bfb0c_HuracanMaria10.thumb.png.4df5771fc6c162756d1e9435baeec842.png

    The metro train is still closed:

    59fc9932d3ce1_HuracanMaria12.thumb.png.9fadcf63a8dba09a7dff137e56949abb.png

     

  5. Snowmie❄
    Latest Entry

    because of the recent events that have gone down on the cbox, though much of what was said was easy to brush off as just somebody elses opinion about me, i do think that there is one important thing that this person said, even if it wasnt delivered very nicely, and that is the fact that i should own up to the fact that in the past i have put many members here down for the purpose of comedy, without thinking about these actions might have ultimately been harmful. likewise, i pretended for a very long time to be somebody who i wasn't so that what i said wouldn't make me feel as bad, because i was doing it without attaching my real self to the things i was saying. now that everyone here has known the truth for a long while, i want to own up to anything hurtful i might have said, and apologize for any discrepancies anybody might still have with me from back then. i am still growing up, and i am still working on being the best version of myself i can be. back in 2014/15, i was thirteen, and i was less careful to consider my words. i now know the impact they can have, and i'm glad to be able to befriend all of you now. :iloveyou:

  6. So, not too long after reviewing Praise Him, the demo EP by black/noise metal artist 666Satanic Army666, I was browsing a list of "noise metal" artists on RateYourMusic, and that album came up. Upon reading the description, I read that later on in '06, Lord Arawn Christkiller found a drummer, dropped the 666s from the Satanic Army name, and with "Thunderstormer" released the final song of his short-lived career, a single known as "Fuck Christ". As a supplement to the Praise Him review, I'm going to look at "Fuck Christ" and see if it lives up to whatever merits Praise Him received from me.

    -------------------------------------------------

    Image result for satanic army fuck christ

    SONG NAME: Fuck Christ

    ARTIST NAME: Satanic Army

    RECORDED: 2006

    RELEASED: 2006

    LABEL: Self-released

    PRODUCER: Self-produced

    GENRES: Black metal

    PERSONNEL: Lord Arawn Christkiller (lyrics, vocals, guitar), Thunderstormer (drums)

    TOTAL LENGTH: 3:15

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    -Fuck Christ: With this, Satanic Army shifts from being the quite literal solo project of one Lord Arawn Christkiller to a black metal duo consisting of himself and Thunderstormer. Along with the dropping of the 666s from the name, Satanic Army transitions from the lo-fidelity black/noise metal of Praise Him to standard black metal. Some things from the previous releases remain, however, such as Lord Arawn's growled incomprehensible vocals and repetitive simple guitar riffs, which have lost all of the surf rockish feel. Lyrically, not much has changed. Guided by Thunderstormer's simplistic beats, Fuck Christ is far better than Praise Him, production-wise especially.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    FINAL THOUGHTS

    What can I say about this swan song release from Satanic Army, the obscure Czech black metal project? Musically and production-wise, it's far better than Praise Him, and had Lord Arawn and Thunderstormer recorded any more songs, I feel that they could have become a black metal counterpart to the White Stripes. The guitar riff, while simplistic and repetitive, is catchy and creates a dissonance to the anti-Christian, growled lyrics. While this wouldn't gel with any fans of Praise Him due to none of the noisy feel of that demo carrying over to here, it would appeal to black metal fans, at least those who prefer cleaner productions.

    FINAL SCORE

    7/10

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    Recent Entries

    Bumble
    Latest Entry

    Let me ask you something- am I funny? Because I sometimes think I suck at being funny. I'm pretty good at being the serious one, but when it comes to being funny, 9 times out of 10, I think I suck pretty hard at making a good joke. I just don't get it- I watch several television shows that I find amusing, like Seinfeld or SpongeBob or Gravity Falls. I find a number of good movies, YouTube videos, comic books to be funny. But, quoting a song I had as my profile music on SBM for a while, "I'm a failure and a flop" when it comes to humor. Exactly what am I doing wrong? Am i just not paying close attention to this stuff, because I think I do. If anyone wants to give me some pointers on how to be more of a funny guy, please give them to me. I'd appreciate it.

  7. Okay, Cartoon Network. All of you probably know that name. A quarter of a century ago, this TV channel specifically for animation launched, getting great success over the years. So, I'm gonna talk about the various iterations the network has gone through. I'm not here to debate about the shows themselves or anything, I want to look at the various brandings the network has had, coincidentally coinciding with a huge (belated) birthday celebration for the channel. Maybe comment on some era specific features, along those lines. I also won't be looking at Summer 2007 because that was more of a theme rather a big, long, formal rebranding for the network. Anyways, from Checkboard to Dimensional, this is Cartoon Network Eras: A Retrospective.

    That sounded really cliche.

    Checkerboard (1992-1997): Obviously, the first branding of Cartoon Network. I think Checkboard is a good name, because checkerboard patterns are everywhere in these bumpers. They've always been a mainstay of the network, like in the logos, but they are very prominent here. Notably, there's a set of bumpers with characters moving inside them that I think flows nicely, set to some synth track that I like but gets tiresome after consecutive listens, I think. I believe there were also stop motion variations of those, I could be wrong, but I appreciated them too. 

    I noticed a lot of blocks or marathons there too, like Super Chunk, promoted with some roughly animated characters like a weird looking cow and a hyper fat kid. I think there were some good block/marathon themes like Look What We Found, promoting obscure cartoons and Dog Bowl, a fan-voted contest of cartoon dogs. One feature I took note of was Toon Mail, where kids wrote to characters, in a slightly similar vein to Stick Stickly. At the end, they directed viewers to an AOL address, which I found humorous. 

    A lot of these bumpers/commercials have that sort of charm to them, looking back. There were a lot of What a Cartoon/World Premiere Toons ads I saw, with stuff like Dexter's and Powerpuff, pretty interesting. One thing I noticed if that there wasn't really one age demographic that everything was being marketed to. Of course, there were things like Toon Mail and even some live action PSAs that were towards kids, but there were commercials invoking 60s/70s tropes and showed people watching the show at work, for example, that were more towards adults. And from what I saw, it was pretty well organized. So, yeah, I like it. While I think things got a bit repetitive, Checkboard did a good job of kicking off the network's life. It showed potential viewers what it was all about and managed to tap into many different people simultaneously. 

    Powerhouse (1997-2004): I'd say this is the most iconic and most defining era of the network. It's what I think of when I think of CN, and many shows here are now classics. During this time, there was a more equal and even dominant focus of the Cartoon Cartoons. But even though I'm not talking about actual programming, this era has gotten a big legacy, not the least seeing the staggering amount of bumpers and such that are available to view on the internet. It is, in essence, a powerhouse.

    That's also an appropriate name because the Raymond Scott composition of the same name is sort of the theme song here, as it appears on a ton of these bumpers, idents, and so on. It's always sort of been synonymous with cartoons, so I think it works. Speaking of, I liked what I saw. The bumpers were separated into three colors: yellow for weekdays, blue for nights and weekends, and purple for action cartoons. These colors would make up the backgrounds of the bumpers. I think the color coding is a good idea, though the purple confuses me a bit. Maybe it was done for demographic reasons, I don't know. The backgrounds are more loose, and angular, as well. The checkerboard patterns are still prominent, but a little more abstract.  For example, in a Dexter's bumper, there would be an explosion, and it would make a black screen with white fumes flying up. I think they're set up well, and are pretty creative, most of the time.

    But, one problem I have is that the bumpers themselves got a little repetitive. It would be a short clip of the characters, and then likely a checkerboard cut of them next to the name of their show, and/or a character or announcer saying a joke, and then them next to the name of the show. The solid color background doesn't help with that, here. This is probably less of a problem when they're quick and between the shows and more when you're watching them complied together, but yeah. Despite this, it's a good use of simplicity. I'm not asking for a grand show at the end of a commercial break, but maybe spice things up a little. 

    While they don't go with the Powerhouse theme much, I enjoyed the idents a lot. Quick and simple gags of the characters, and they were pretty good, in my opinion. But yeah, I like this theme of Cartoon Network. It was a simple but defining image for the network, and even made me want to watch some of these shows more, which is the whole point, so that's gotta mean something.

    CN City (2004-2007):  I'd call this sort of a transitional period for the network, between the old and new. This is an era that focused a lot on the bumpers, with the laconic premise being CN characters living together. An simple but interesting concept with lots of potential material between all of the character personalities. Interestingly, old and new characters were here, which I appreciate. 

    They feature CGI recreations of different Cartoon Network sets and CGI sets of other places, and it is really good CGI. Even over a decade later some shots look pretty realistic to me. But, it still has that cartoony edge that keeps it sorta grounded into what CN is about. There were several, mainly character parts, that looked a bit off, like the Eds sometimes, for example, but I think they pulled off everything really well. I also like the music here, it has sort of an urban edge, I guess? I'm not good with describing music.

    I'm not sure if branding the channel with these bumpers made the most sense, though. I guess it symbolizes the city as like the network, with all these shows together, but it's almost too specific, even then? Maybe like have it as like a series of bumpers, I don't know. There were also some bumpers were at the CN logo, there would be a random fart or something, which annoyed me. It was just random for random's sake and as a result just seemed too juvenile for me. 

    Overall, I did like the style and idea of these bumpers, and they were pulled off well. But there were some problems about how it was presented, though they didn't actually obstruct my enjoyment of anything too much.

    Yes (2006-2007): Not to be confused with the exclamation of approval or the band, Yes was the fourth CN era, going at the same time as CN City Actually, it sort of blends into CN City at times, like the up next bumpers, which had the CN City design, but with slightly different music and weird colors. There were a couple different main bumper/ident themes during the year or so Yes was around. Reportedly, there were stick puppet bumpers that I can't find anywhere, and something called The Lunchbox of Doom, showing quick clips of different shows inside a lunchbox. There's nothing outwardly wrong about that from the looks of it, but there's just nothing to Yes.

    Most notably, there were some with characters against a red background saying and doing random crap. But, I can't really find a way to call these great. Some were just random stuff without any setup or punchline, and some went on too long and got tiring. I do think there was potential, like the red background looks aesthetically pleasing, and it can show off the characters quickly, but it just didn't work very well. It seemed like they were trying to push the extra zany and hyper characters, like Cheese from Foster's, who I've never found funny. It's just...I don't know, anything that's trying to market "I pooted" as a catchphrase or slogan of sorts has a problem. 

    To sum it up, Yes didn't really have it's own identity. What it did have was just sorta bland or lifted from CN City, or it was annoying at worst. So yeah, that wraps it up now. Next time I'll be covering the more recent half of CN eras, I promise it'll hopefully be out by the end of the decade.

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    Hey. Welcome to my pointless and time-wasting blog. Hope you enjoy it.

  8. I was planning to do this during the final season of this show, although I was pretty lazy and I forgot all about this. Then @SquiddyFace requested me to do this, so I'm coming back to finish this and there are going to be spoilers just in case If you didn't see these episodes or this show.

    I watched Samurai Jack when I was a kid but I didn't exactly wanna continue watching this because it didn't interest me that much and seeing Jack shirtless sometimes made me feel so awkward. I revisted 4 seasons of this show before the final season started and I was so impressed by the memorable heroes and villains, the animation, each episode having a different genre, music, action scenes and creativity in this show. There are many great shows with dialogue storytelling but this show is magnificent because it excels at visual storytelling. There are still conversations but the visuals tell the whole story and it amazes me to see that. This is also one of the few action packed cartoons I can think of that is great at almost anything. I adore action genre and this show became one of my favorite shows because it also has so many memorable action scenes. And now that this show is over, I wanna honor it by making a Top 15 Best Samurai Jack Episodes list. I already did best Steven Universe and adult cartoon episodes list, so it's SJ's turn to be recognized.

    15. Jack and the Ultra-robots

    What happens when you mix science with dark magic? You get empty warriors that their only purpose is to challenge Jack. Some of my favorite episodes in this series are the ones that Jack has to face with hard obsticals because no matter how you convince us that Jack's skills are amazing, he's not invincible. You still have a shot to kill him If you manage to break him enough. Sometimes TV shows or movies do a silly thing that they make the protagonists invincible enough that they can beat anyone and that sounds like a generic action hero. As long as the action is good or your character have good motivations, I can tolerate the invincible heroes but there are times It gets tiresome becuase you want to feel the pain of the protagonist to get yourself excited for the serious climax. If they can overcome anything, then climax is underwhelming. The worst thing you can do is that you make your character train but in the end, the characters get beaten up a lot by villains with average powers and I've seen that a lot in some other shows and it's just stupid. The perfect way to make your character powerful but not completely invincible is to make your villain smarter or more powerful, instead of dumbing down the hero or making them weak. Jack still has great skills here but he's up against robots with martial arts and they are controlled by magic and they have no emotion. Now that's an exciting way to write a hero vs one time villain(s). At the end, Jack managed to defeat the robots by the power of honor and yeah, it feels deus-ex machina but when you have robots with dark magic, you do gotta fight magic with well, magic? And I can let it slide since Jack's sword is also powered by magic, it's a good way to defeat those robots. In the end, Jack wins but in an epic way.

    14. Jack vs Mad Jack

    This is a tricky one because season 5 revists the concept of Jack facing his demons and while season 5 did a mature job with that, this is the episode that Mad Jack exists because of Aku's magic but that's not why this episode is so great. Jack faced many villains that he defeated so well, so the only person that can truly match is himself, except he's filled with rage. The action scenes of Jack vs Mad Jack is very thrilling because their fight literally destroys a whole forrest. It shows how anger can consume someone enough to ruin everything. We all wanna lock our demons because if we really show how angry we are, we are gonna hurt a lot of people. In Jack's case, he has to fight with his rage to get rid of him but that doesn't work because our anger is very powerful that the more you fight, the more you give power to him. So Jack does the only way to stop him. He stops fighting and he calms himself down, eventually that makes him have peace with himself and Mad Jack vanishes. Season 5 reintroduced Mad Jack in a more different way, so people must have felt like this episode didn't matter but I don't think so. Jack stopped Mad Jack but you can't exactly get rid of your anger. Dangerous or not, anger is still a part of ourselves, so Jack still has his anger but he locks it down to not hurt anything. That's how I see it anyway lol. This episode is amazing because of our sympathy with Jack about facing his worst version

    13. Jack vs the Five Hunters

    lets continue the tradition of Jack against at powerful foes but dear god, five hunters are amazing. Of course Aku would hire actual hunters to hunt down Jack and their hunt makes this episode one of the most thrilling episodes of the season. Unlike previous episodes, this episode is like a cat and mouse game for Jack. Jack has to escape from hunters before they take him down. There's no time to breathe or hiding because these hunters would find Jack in anywhere. What makes this episode so special (other than how much of a thrill ride it is) that Jack loses this battle. Hunters actually catches Jack and Jack has nowhere to run. If these hunters were merciless, Jack would be dead by the hands of Aku. Series finale ladies and gentleman. That thought is actually scary if you really want your hero to win against ultimate evil but thankfully hunters free Jack for showing good challenge at them. Normally this would have been so nonsensical like why these hunters would free someone right after they catch them but these hunters free Jack because capturing Jack already proves that they are the greatest hunters of all time. They don't want to prove that to anyone, except themselves. That's 100% of their motivations and that's what makes them hunters with honor. This episode is brilliant for Jack's failure but also there are many people like him who want to prove something to themselves and they do that with honor.

    12. Jack and the Scotsman

    At first I wasn't entirely fond of Scotsman, yea yea, but then he grew on me as a character. Him and Jack follow the same path and they both have magic swords (I don't even wanna know how Scotsman earned a magic sword), they want to stop pure evil but they are both opposite characters. They are not even like Daredevil/Punisher type of characters that one is a pure hero and other is an anti-hero. Scotsman is also a hero but he's loud, disrespectful and jokester unlike Jack who is quiet, kind and mostly serious. Their dynamic makes this episode unique enough for Scotman to have one sequel and a two part special, tho neither can match the amazing stuff in this episode. It literally starts off with them arguing about who should let other one cross the bridge at first and they could have just pass them at once but they fight over it because why not? I love it because that describes how Scotsman start a fight for something that is not that a big deal, he's a bit hotheaded dude who doesn't know how to properly communicate with others. They fight and it goes on for a freaking day and eventually the bountry hunters find them and they have no choice but to team up. After this, they suddenly becomes friends and that's all folks.

    Seriously, this episode is filled with good humor and interesting dynamic between Jack and the Scotsman and this is a perfect example why Scotsman is so beloved by fans alike.

    11. Jack vs Demongo, the Soul Eater

    You thought robots with dark magic or the greatest hunters weren't enough. Here's a demon who can summon souls of other warriors. Demongo is one of the most memorable villains in this show. Not only he's pretty menacing and threatening, his design as well as his powers makes him a creative villain. And it's dark when you think about the fact that If Jack lost over Demongo, Demongo would eat his soul and make him stay in a prison inside him that he can only get out by Demongo summoning him to fight and then pulling him back. Jack fighting with the warriors is so exciting to watch and Jack doesn't have to worry about killing warriors since they are souls but like what any one person would do, Jack gets inside Demongo (that didn't sound right.) and he frees all the warriors that makes Demongo so powerless at the end. I like when heroes use their mind to solve things, instead of just force. Demongo gets crushed by Aku but he's alive for a funny cameo in season 5, oh ok. Anyway, this episode is nothing more than a fun time with a really amazing villain.

    10. Jack Remembers the Past

    I can see why others would feel like this episode should have been higher and I agree but I enjoyed other episodes more than this. The reason why this is low is that it taked a while for the plot to kick in, I get it that they had to set up the mood but personal opinion, sometimes slow pacing can bother me in this show. That's still no reason to not put this on the list because this episode is very heartbreaking. We already had an episode full on Jack's past and that's The Premiere Movie and we got three more episodes that explored Jack's past but this episode is different from them. This is all about Jack's happy past memories. We already know how Jack became a warrior but we rarely saw what Jack's village was meant for him until this and this makes us care for why Jack care so much for his village. One scene of Aku destroying the village isn't just enough for Jack's motivation to be against at Aku, this episode expands on Jack's motivations because of how much his village matters to him. He had a great childhood there with nothing so bad, except for him seeing dad killing bunch of guys oops but still this episode makes us care for Jack's quest and we feel bad for him and we cry for him for every good thing Aku destroyed.

    9. Samurai Jack Premiere Movie

    Making the first episode of a TV show can be a difficult thing to do because that is the episode that makes you want to see more of the adventures of the character(s). Your pilot can be pretty mediocre, bad or uninteresting enough to lose interest but eventually those shows gain popularity in it's latter episodes like how first episode of Fringe, BoJack Horseman, Arrow, Bob's Burgers, Agents of SHIELD, Supergirl, American Dad, Parks and Recreation (I still need to check that show but ik people disliked first episodes) and more but a show like Samurai Jack opens with a bang. It's a simple struction that many tv shows use in their first seasons but Samurai Jack did it in three episodes that are all connected as one premiere movie.

    First episode gives Jack a motivation and a big quest to save his people from the evil entity known as Aku. We are shown from the first episode on how Jack manages to become the most skilled fighter in the world and he's even granted with a magic sword to kill Aku once and for all. Jack's skills are not mentioned by Jack, neither it's shown quickly. The first part of the premiere movie gives us enough time to process Jack's transformation from a defensless kid to a powerful adult. And we are off to the first battle between Jack and Aku and Aku manages to find a great trick to get rid of Jack for a long time to take over the world. In conclusion this is just the begining of the premiere.

    The show could have been like other shows that their main arc start off in latter episodes or seasons with long world building but Samurai Jack does it all in the second episode. This is all Jack being so confused about where he ended up and how he's gonna get out of this mess. So this leads up to Jack exploring the future with weird creatures and advances technology. Jack eventually finds a group of dogs that their town is in danger because of Aku's insect robots. And that is the whole premise of this show. Jack tries to find a bloody way to return to home but even if that is his whole quest, he doesn't let any people from the future get harmed by Aku's evil. Jack could have been careless about the dogs and he could have only focused on his journey but what makes Jack a hero is that he doesn't leave people behind. Even if his whole goal is to make sure this evil never exists in the future, he doesn't know if he'll actually return to the past, so save many people on the way.

    Third episode is mostly the climax of how everything is build up to this premiere. It's all action packed with no time to breathe, you just enjoy a mindless time of Jack killing every single insect robots. We see Jack's process to become a great fighter and now it's the time to test it with real danger, aside from Aku himself to fight Jack. The action scenes, the music and the animation are all breath taking that it's almost like I'm watching an actual theatrical movie. Heck If this entire premiere was only a theatrical movie that includes the end of Jack finally stopping Aku, this would be one of the most magnificent animated movies of all-time. But nope, this is just the first episodes of many big stories of Jack's adventures and I'm glad for that.

    8. Jack vs Aku

    Jack and Aku fought couple of times in this show and having an entire episode dedicated to them having a fight would be pretty awesome, except like I said, this was done in this show before, so how to make Jack and Aku fighting so interesting again? By making it all comedic. This episode is probably the funniest epsode in the entire series that takes Jack and Aku's dynamic to a hilarity ride. This may even be the most meta episode in the entire series since this episode makes fun of the fact that everytime Jack manages to have a chance to kill Aku or get back into past, he loses and Aku escapes and that is kind of annoying to see in this show sometimes (well no show is perfect lol). So this entire commentary on status quo of Jack losing and Aku escaping is funny, as well as many other moments like Aku's phone conversation that became a popular meme, Aku cheating on the fight, Jack and Aku starting and awkwardly smiling at each other, the whole "I KNEW THAT YOU KNEW..." exchange and Aku's letter to Jack. It's all so funny and awesome. Unfortunately the episode ends the exact same way, Jack loses and Aku escapes but at the very least 13 years later, we got a final season. This episode is a comedy gold.

    7. The Tale of X-9

    Not to be confused by XJ9.

    Samurai Jack is a show that is full of possibilities. A strange and weird future led by Aku is a great way to be unlimited on storytelling. This show can be sci-fi or a fantasy or a silly comedy but the best thing about this show is that you can pick almost anything you can think of and put it here. This episode is a great example of that. Throughout the episode we get a point of view from a villain. This show did make a few episodes based on that premise but none is like this. Heck, the villain is barely a villain. He is X-9 and he has to kill Jack or else he'll lose a dog he loves so much. This episode tackles on the idea of a robot gaining emotions and thoughts of their own. X-9 may be a robot but his backstory is tragic and we actually feel sympathy for him. One of the most interesting aspects of this episode is that this is a story about a friendship between a dog and a machine, it's not a human and a dog, neither it is human and a machine. It's that and it's compelling to sit through. The tone of this episode is so neo-noir and that shows how SJ can do any genre perfectly. Some said this episode took the inspiration from Cowboy Bebop and while I've never seen it, this episode still stands on it's own. Not the mention it's one of the only episodes that has a sad ending to it. X-9 gets killed by Jack and it's horrid how X-9 will never be able to see his dog again, the sweet thing. This episode is emotional, complex and thrilling It deserves more love.

    6. Jack and the Zombies

    If only the last episode of this show was this epic as this one. This episode starts off with Jack wondering around the graveyard and boom, zombies show up and try to eat him. It's always a delight to see a kid show (well SJ is a former kids show but still) dealing with disgusting looking zombies. Yeah, zombies can scare the crap outta kids but it's a bold choice to include actual violent and scary looking zombies in a kids show. This is still not the best thing about this episode. The best thing is that Aku finally strikes and he's there to finish Jack once and for all. Albeit this episode starts to focus on Aku more than zombies, Aku's presence makes this episode a lot better. He's a comedic villain but this is one of those times that he's actually threatening to Jack and Aku's whole deal is to get Jack sword and kill him with that. The twist is revealed that the sword can't kill Jack because Jack is too pure in heart and it's bloody awesome. Jack's final battle with Aku is intense and epic that if this episode ended with Aku finally getting killed, it'd be hell of a way to end this series.

    5. Episode XCIII (season 5 episode 2)

    Season 5 is, for the most part, a great way to bring this show back for one last ride. I didn't like some of the direction this season took later on but even with my complaints, this season managed to be a mature, unsettling and violent season with new great characters, dark themes (PTSD, abuse, murder, loss and depression) great fanservice and an interesting choice to end this show. This episode is my favorite of them because it's so perfect with it's animation, sound editing, music, action-scenes and it features Jack on his most broken self. Not only he's a bit rusty and old and he's facing against Daughters of Aku are highly skilled assassins, he's also fighting with himself. Jack got hurt so badly that it shows he's no longer the greatest fighter he used to be, he's more vulnerable than ever. The most shocking thing of all is that Jack actually kills a human being and that scars him deeply that it carries on to the next episode. Another great thing about this episode is that it actually starts off a bit silly, yet interesting. We see Aku from the second episode of the final season and he's different. Just like Jack, he's dealing with his own problems. He has become a pessimistic, slacker and depressed demon because he couldn't even manage to get rid of Jack and he doesn't wanna face off against him. Mako will always be Aku but Greg Baldwin did a decent job voicing a depressed Aku but still Aku has one funny part in this and rest of the episode is a survival game for Jack. It's one of the most epic stories SJ has given to us.

    4. Jack and the Lava Monster

    Woops, talk about an actual devistating story of a dangerous creature. A reminder that Jack's village wasn't the only village that was destroyed, there was countless villages that Aku erased them all from existence and one person is left to be a reminder of this. Aku may be a silly villain but he's merciless beast. Killing the loved ones of the actual hero defending the village and giving that hero a worse punishment than death? Turning the hero into a monster in prison for all enternity? Jesus Christ, that's the worst thing you can do to someone with a heart of gold. The fight scene of Jack and The Lava Monster is more than a climax. If Jack wasn't sent into future, he would probably end up being another version of The Lava Monster. So Jack most likely sees himself in that monster. The only way to free him is to kill him and it's actually the right thing to do because whatever that person inside the monster no longer exists on this planet and there's nothing he can do at this point, so death is a good reward for him and many people would take it if their faith ended up like him. Jack kills the monster, the monster becomes human and he's taken by angels to Heaven and this all ends with a heartwarming scene of Jack making sure he exists by writing FREE to the rock. That is such a tearjerking scene and this is one stand alone episode. Well done job.

    3. The Birth of Evil

    Most of great shows, movies, games, books and comics with a hero protagonist always explores the villain's backstory, as well as hero's backstory. We already got how Jack became Samurai Jack from the first episode but this episode from season 3 explores Aku's origins and it's told masterfully. Usually villain origins are great if the villain is sympathetic or you understand their goal. That's not the case for Aku here because he was a part of a dark entity in space. Since Samurai Jack has religion(s) for greater good, there has to be a Satan of the religion(s) and Aku represents Satan. That does make Aku a cliched villain with only goal to rule everything and destroy what's good, Aku's sinister tone, his sense of humor and his charisma make him above almost any cliched villain I can think of. And this episode tells us how Aku was born and it's so engaging to see. Jack's father also gets a role in this and his entire motivation is similar to Jack's, tho Jack lost everything whereas Jack's father was in danger of losing everything. So his battle against Aku is so powerful. One mortal army against an immortal Satan. It does make me wonder how Jack's father managed to stop Aku quicker than Jack? Did he also get the same fighting skills as Jack since he was a kid? Well, I suppose you do gotta prepare for any attacks to your village. This episode also explores origin of Jack's magic sword. Thanks to pure good inside Jack's dad, Aku is stopped for now and Jack is born. This was an epic way to make a story of a villain without adding any sympathy towards him. He's evil for sake of evil but he's also a charming character and this episode starts off one of the best villain's journey as well.

    2. Jack and the Haunted House

    Horror genre is probably the hardest genre to be tackled because it depends on how you can actually scare the crap out of people, while writing a compelling story for audience to care about the characters in danger. And I love horror for that. It brings us our worst nightmares or what has potential to be our nightmares and they make it a fun ride. Admittedly horror in cartoons doesn't scare me anymore. When I watched Invader Zim, Gravity Falls and Courage as a teen, I didn't get scared for most of their scenes because when it's animated, I know it's fake, so it doesn't scare me. Good live-action movies or shows with horror elements do scare me because that feels so realistic to me. That doesn't mean I don't love horror in animation. In fact, I admire it so much that more shows, especially adult shows should do more horror. This episode of Samurai Jack didn't scare me but it was one of the most unsettling pieces of horror I've ever seen. Jack and the girl's journey to search for the girl's family becomes more and more scary for the characters and horror stories are engaging if you feel the same fear the characters do. This episode masterfully does that with some great horror scenes, as well as one of the best animated sequences I've ever seen and boy, that got a bit under my skin. This episode uses haunted house premise and it goes full with it without relying on gore and violence. I think most horror stories have to have a tragic or sad ending but occasionally brining happy ending to it is acceptable for the characters you love. And I'm glad at the end, the girl manages to get her family back and they live happily ever after. This doesn't even have Aku's evilness nor a path for Jack's home. It doesn't even need to be. It's one episodic horror time and it's perfect.

    Before number 1,

    Honorable Mentions:

    Jack and the Traveling Creatures, The Aku Infection, Jack and the Spartans, Jack in Egybt, Jack and the Flying Prince and Princess, Jack Learns to Jump Good, Jack vs Ninja, The Four Seasons of Death, Jack and the Three Blind Archers and Samurai vs Samurai

    and my number one is

    1) Jack and the Monks

    Not only this is my favorite episode in the entire series, this is the episode that I believe many people should reconsider watching it. I haven't come across to much who appreciated this episode and I suppose under episodes like Jack Remembers the Past, The Birth of Evil, Premiere Movie, Jack vs Aku, Jack and the Spartans and Jack and the Scotsman; it makes sense but why I think this episode is the best episode in the entire series is that it reveals a big truth. Jack has to climb the biggest mountain that no one managed to reach to the top, so he can learn about the truth and during this journey, he comes across to his biggest challange yet. Nature. There's no villain here, except for nature. Jack trained for his whole life to stop Aku and during every lost in fight, he gets a bit more pessimistic and it's normal to think that. And climbing into the mountain is actually the hardest thing a person can accomplish with strength. The more Jack climbs to the mountain, the more Jack gets broken, tired and injured and that's the deal of this episode. In the end, Jack manages to reach to the top of the mountain and there's nothing there. No portal to the past or a magical device that can kill Aku once and for all. There's only the truth and that truth is to never give up. It'd feel to some people that this is a meaningless task that there's no reward or anything else. It shouldn't be some sort of reward for people. In my view, it's supposed to show that challenges you face in your life are always going hard and you have to hold onto those because eventually you'll get your reward or something meaningful. Jack learns about the truth of life and that's the whole point of this episode. Never giving up is a cheesy message but this episode uses this message better than almost anything else I've seen because climbing a mountain seems impossible in people's mind and during that, there's no short cut. You have to word really hard to get what you want and that could be pretty inspiring. And because of these reasons,this episode is my all-time favorite episode and it's the best character study in the entire show.

    Thank you all for reading this. Making this list was a blast and I'll see you all in a different list. ;)

  9. This post was created over the days of August 15th and 16th (edited August 31st). It was posted (I hope) on time on September 4th at 1:00 PM ET.

    This is part 1 out of 3 (hopefully if I can remember to do it over the school year) of sbl's middle to high transition long ass blog story extravaganzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (that's the full name). This part talks about my projections on the school year before school starts on September 5th.

     

     

     

    IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN doodludo, doodludodo~

    Here in Ontario (Canada), we have 2 levels of early childhood education known as the EMBARRASSMENT YEARS lovely JK and SK (Junior and Senior Kindergarten). Then, the HARD AND PAINFUL 8 levels of elementary education with 3 of them (grade 6, 7, and 8) in the middle/junior high level. I just finished Grade 7 on June 29th and am going to Grade 8 on September 5th. Now, I'm not any of these people:

    - that popular kid in school who has a bunch of friends and acts like a dick to other people and grows up to be a nobody

    - that kid who's an athlete and thinks he's better than everyone

    - that kid who tries to keep up with popular culture around the school and in the world and starts becoming a walking meme

    - that kid who tries to fit in with the popular kids and does but gets shunned out and his/her friends don't care if he/she comes crawling back

    - that kid who's weird to others

    - *insert another "that kid" stereotype here*

     

    I am none of these (so far :P). I'm sort of my own category. I mean, I don't know if saying that I'm my own category makes me sound stupid, but here's why I can justify it: I'm not popular (as of now), but I hang out with the kEwL kIdS and also have kEwL friends and half-friends in random classes and in my own class. I'm not an athlete, but I do sometimes keep up with pop culture and love those dank memays. I was weird/odd from JK to grade 3, then I matured. And I'm sort of just antisocial. Now that my grade 8 friends from the 2016-2017 year are gone, I think I'll start to become a little more antisocial (and probably just talk on the SBC Discord...which you can join >>>here<<<...ha shameless plug) but will still talk to people. It's better than playing soccer every single fucking day, or going to study hall, or doing ONE thing everyday.

    My class last school year was trash for the 1st term (semester) but was great for the 2nd, and I was basically friends or acquaintances with my whole class (we even had inside jokes), but the problem we all had little to no common interests, and we couldn't be like the gifted classes that hangout together at lunch. I also am in a school isn't the best either. It has its ups and downs, including a nice DT lab (design and technology/workshop/shop), nice office staff (although the principal is leaving and she's being replaced by some other guy), and a really good guidance counselor (never had to talk to her so idk how true that is though). It has some sketchy kids though (one 7th grade boy in my class brought a knife to school and threatened to stab a 6th grade girl and got expelled). They do some weird shit and are a group of mixed girls and boys...vaping and probably smoking that Mary Jane (which is going to be legalized across Canada by July 2018 wewwwwwwwww)... breaking stuff, getting the police or fire department called...but I usually stay away from them unless they're people I can trust.

     

    Anyways, here are my predictions about how my life will be during the 2017-2018 school year:

    - I will stay the the way I am in terms of friends but may gain more.

    - I'll be more appreciated (I mean...I hope)

    - Something major will happen (probably with those sketchy kids)

     

    Overall, I believe that this will be a nice last middle/junior high school year. Also, here is a rundown of what these parts will be about:

    - Part 1 (this part) - Before school outlook/predictions

    - Part 2 - 1st to 2nd semester switch, a look back on the 1st, and a new outlook for the 2nd

    - Part 3 - Last day and Grade 8 graduation

     

    So yeah. This is my big blog story adventure. Hopefully I will remember to do it on these days. I'm gone. PYEASE

     

    :swag:

  10. Now unlike the emoji movie graham crackers that i reviewed on sbm, I didn't buy these pretzels on my own need. My mom was literally at the store and bought them without telling me!

    and so

    RPYyG87.jpg

    Emoji Movie Snyder's pretzels (our house is a mess).

    Appearance: 

    I bet you're wondering what kind of cool shapes do they have...

    Well I kinda forgot to take a picture but those shapes unlike the artly graham cracker ones are not original. I gotta say these are some lazy af pretzel designs. Especially for an emoji movie promotion.

    Appearance Score: 4/10

    Taste:

    They're regular Snyder's Pretzels

    Taste Score: 8/10

    Memeness:

    Not much. Not that many jokes to make about these. My mom just gave them to me and I was like "cool".

    Meme Score: 2/10

     

    Overall:

    They're still a good snack but not really worth buying for the branding. In all honesty just get the snyder's Olde Tyme pretzels. That shit is lit. The sourdough utz pretzels are good too.

     

    Overall Score: 14/30

     

    To be continued?

  11. Wanted to flesh out some of my thoughts on who I think will run in the 2020 presidential election in both parties. 

    DEMOCRATS

    The Democratic Party is such a damn mess right now that I think the 2020 primaries are going to be a circus shit show similar to that of the Republicans in 2020. The following are candidates that I think are all but guaranteed to run (copied from a comment I left on my previous blog post with some additional commentary):

    Kamala Harris - A rising star in the Democratic Party and a favorite of the liberal establishment; seen as a worthy successor to the Clinton/Obama wing of the party. Likely the person the media/DNC will support as the frontrunner in 2020 if she decides to run (and she is definitely running lol). Unfortunately, Harris is predisposed to the same kind of generalities that Hillary Clinton was. While she's only 8 months into her term as Senator, her entire platform consists solely of being anti-Trump. While she was a more aggressive Attorney General of California, she also noticeably failed to bring charges again Steve Mnuchin (Trump's Secretary of the Treasury) and his bank, who donated to Harris's Senate campaign. She is definitely a corporate Democrat, albeit one who seems to be a little more outgoing than Clinton. 

    Joe Biden - This man is restless and feels an obligation to fulfill his son's dying wish to run for president again; seems to think he has more to contribute to the country before actually retiring. While he is in many ways a part of the Clinton/Obama establishment, he is also a bit of a John McCain-esque maverick and prone to off-color utterances. Doubt the DNC would support him over Kamala, even with Obama's support – which would place Obama in an awkward position in 2020. He has an unusually close bond with his former Vice President, but endorsing Biden would place him at odds with the candidate the Democratic establishment sees as his successor. 

    Bernie Sanders OR Tulsi Gabbard - If Bernie Sanders decides not to run, there's no doubt in my mind that he will prod Gabbard to run in his place. They would not run against each other. Gabbard will only run if Sanders persuades her to, and to be honest, I don't think he will run again in 2020. He realizes his movement and the success of it is greater than himself and that his agenda has a greater chance of being achieved if somebody like Gabbard is leading the ticket. Gabbard, however, may opt out of running. She would, at age 39, be the youngest president in history and would face the opposite sort of criticism that Sanders receives. While critics claim Sanders will be too old to run in 2020, it's likely Gabbard would be seen as too young and inexperienced. 

    Elizabeth Warren - I think had Clinton not run in 2016, Warren would have. She has presidential ambitions, is one of the leading voices of the progressive faction of the Democrats, and also tends to appeal to the establishment in the way that Sanders/Gabbard doesn't (famously neglected to endorse Sanders in the primaries and later was considered to be Clinton's VP). She has made consistently made headlines on news outlets and social media for her adamant opposition against Trump ("she persisted" was a big story, for example). I don't see her passing up the opportunity to bear the progressive mantle against Trump (or Pence) in 2020. 

    The following candidates are several Democrats whose candidacy I don't think is quite as certain as those above:

    Joe Kennedy III - The charismatic third-term redhead congressman from Massachusetts, Kennedy is another member of Congress whose stock is rising (similar to Harris). He has stoked up his opposition to President Trump in recent months and at age 36 represents a youthful exuberance that could bode well with the American electorate. Beyond that, as a member of the Kennedy family, he enjoys automatic name recognition. He is the grandson of RFK and great-nephew of JFK, and seems to have inherited their oratory skills and good looks (which, whether we like it or not, helps a candidate). Another speculated candidate is Caroline Kennedy, the daughter of President Kennedy and former ambassador to Japan, but if a Kennedy is going to run again, I doubt the family will choose Carolina, who lacks the charm and TV presence of Joe. If she were to run, which is very possible, I do believe she'd be a frontrunner simply because of the grace and positivity associated with the Kennedy brand. 

    Mark Cuban - Another billionaire? Yeah lol. And if you're thinking, "No way he runs, he has no interest in running for office!" may I remind you that we have Donald Trump sitting in the White House right now (atm he's actually in New Jersey lmao but I digress). Cuban has been involved in politics as early as the 2008 election and his parallels with Trump are uncanny. He is essentially a more liberal Donald Trump without the same level of bombast (although he is still prone to saying things that make you turn your head). He's a television star as a panelist on the ABC Show Shark Tank and owns the Dallas Mavericks. If Trump manages to stay on the ticket for 2020 and survives guaranteed primary challengers to again gain the Republican nomination, I wouldn't be surprised to see a billionaire vs. billionaire matchup. I don't think Cuban would get far enough to become the Democratic nominee, but if he were to run, I think he'd be able to form a formidable campaign with a base of Democrats who think the path to victory is fighting fire with fire.

    Mark Zuckerberg - Same thing as above. "What? He wouldn't run!" It looks like he might. One of the defining characteristics of Zuckerberg is that he is insanely competitive and ambitious. His penchant for buying companies and blatantly copying companies that refuse to be bought (see Snapchat) has contributed to Facebook's exponential growth. For comparison's sake, Facebook made nearly 3x the revenue that the Trump Organization did in 2016. Zuckerberg would be a businessman who has a reputation for legitimate and known success in a way that Trump and Cuban might not have had. Additionally, Zuckerberg has been on a yearlong "listening" tour of all 50 states. Suspicious? He has also hired President Obama's 2008 campaign manager, Hillary's 2016 chief campaign strategist and pollster, and President W. Bush's 2004 campaign manager to work for Zuckerberg's foundation. Even more telling, no? Zuckerberg has said he's not going to run in 2020, but that means nothing. Every potential presidential candidate ever has denied running before they run. It's not a guarantee Zuckerberg will run, but it wouldn't be a ball out of left field if he did. 

    Terry McAuliffe - A more vanilla-candidate, I could see McAuliffe tossing his hat into the ring just to see what would happen. Maybe he could get lucky as a compromise nominee (unlikely). He's a major player in the Clinton camp – served as chairman of the DNC, co-chair of Bill Clinton's 1996 campaign, and chair of Hillary Clinton's 2008 campaign. Currently the governor of Virginia and a run of the mill Democrat with positions that nearly perfectly mirror Hillary Clinton's. 

    Eric Garcetti - Mayor of Los Angeles with little national name recognition. Member of the Clinton wing. Jewish and Mexican-American, could gain traction with those groups. Ultimately too boring for voters should he run.

    Martin O'Malley - I think he'll run again with the same mindset as McAuliffe. He'll ultimately be blown out of the water by the more interesting candidates in the same way that Rick Perry and Bobby Jindel were in the 2016 Republican primary. 

    REPUBLICANS

    The Republican Party won big in 2016, and yet they have been unable to convert to a first down. They are broken in a million factions and have the least popular president in modern history carrying the banner of their party. Because of that, it's all but guaranteed that we will see primary challengers to whoever is president in 2020.

    Donald Trump - There's a million different scenarios for 2020 on the Republican side. If Trump doesn't get impeached and is still president when 2020 rolls around, there is no doubt in my mind that somebody is going to challenge him in 2020. The Republicans will be forced to have legitimate primaries because of how unpopular the president is, and that would be incredibly unusual. For incumbent presidents, their primaries are a cakewalk and run unopposed. There is precedent for this happening, however. President Franklin Pierce (back in the 1850s lmao) lost his bid for the Democratic nomination to James Buchanan, who ultimately held onto the White House for the Democrats in the 1856 election. Trump, in my opinion, will face a similar situation should he run in 2020.

    Mike Pence - The likeliest situation (imo) is that Trump is out of the picture and President Pence is looking to launch his own independent bid for 2020. In this scenario, the Republicans are (again) split. Pence represents the Trumpists in this scenario (naturally, as his VP) and it's likely a good chunk of Trump's supporters in 2016 would support Pence in 2020. Unlike Trump, Pence is acceptable to the Republican establishment, as well as the Tea Party. HOWEVER, the other half of Republicans will want a clean break with the Trump/Pence years – which leads to the following candidates...

    John Kasich - One of few candidates to not rule out a 2020 bid, I believe Kasich might have newfound popularity within the moderate branch of the GOP, as well as with disillusioned conservatives reeling from the fallout of a Trump impeachment or resignation.

    Ted Cruz - An incredibly ambitious Texan, I do believe that Cruz would run against Pence (despite them sharing several of the same views). Cruz owes nothing to Pence, who left Congress right when Cruz was entering (Cruz served in the Senate and Pence in the House anyway, so there wouldn't have been overlap). Cruz also has a penchant for not giving a shit about political fallout, such as when he led the charge for the government shutdown in 2013 (when he was only 10 months into his term). He's a darling of hardline conservatives and has a fairly clean record without scandal. He's a Cuban-American (born in Canada lol) already with national name recognition and having come in 2nd place to Trump has the ability to claim he's the candidate most suited to assume the nomination in 2020 (over Pence, who wasn't chosen by Republican voters in 2016). 

    It's difficult to gauge what other candidates may pop up in 2020, particularly given the vastness of the 2016 field, as well as the uncertainty of Trump and Pence going into the election. 

    Ultimately, I'm predicting a Democratic victory in 2020 depending on the candidates of either party. For example, I believe Pence has a better shot at victory than Trump does, particularly if Kamala Harris is the nominee. However, if Joe Biden were to run against Pence, that'd be a Biden victory. Ultimately, the Democrats' potential candidates are much stronger than the Republicans' potential candidates. The Democrats also have on their side the fact that voters like to vote out the party in power, especially with an unpopular president. 

  12. So this takes a bit of context to understand what went on. In no way am I able to see anyone's passwords. SBC stores your password in an encrypted way that cannot be decrypted, so there is no way that I can ever see your password. You can see how this works through this link. There's no way for me to decrypt it without knowing your password, which makes decrypting it absolutely pointless.

    Anyways... a few days ago, I got bored and decided to see if any accounts have the same password. While SBC stores passwords in an encrypted way, if two accounts have the same password, both accounts would have the same encrypted password. Then I discovered something: spongebobfan29 and ImTheKinda1997 have the same passwords!

    19866515_1366621320125286_448263776_n.gif

    I thought this was weird, so I checked out their profiles. Both of them had stopped going on SBC on October 4th, 2015. This is getting oddly suspicious, I thought to myself, and I looked at their posts. There was, in no way, any distinguishing characteristics between the two accounts. They had to be the same person owning both accounts.

    17792582_997739176974_496311067_n.gif

    So I merged them. Of course, I don't merge without getting the opinions of others, but I'm fairly certain that this was a multiple account issue.

    All in a day's work on SBC.

    Hall_Monitor_Gallery_(06).jpg

    Tho I still have no idea if spongebobfan29 is a boy or a girl, but I'm gonna say boy.

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    scarypants
    Latest Entry

    episode 1a store wars

    (we open up to spongebob pokemonpants watching tv)

    spongebob pokemonpants:ugh oh no it's one of those half hours when their is nothing to watch

    (spongebob pokemonpants walks out to his room which had way too many toys  and yet they manage to all fit)

    spongebob pokemonpants:i've played with all these toys 900 times i might as well get 50 new toys

    (spongebob pokemonpants walks over to yellowshadow's house)

    spongebob pokemonpants:yellow i need you to take me to walmart

    yellow shadow:but that's all the way into the real world

    spongebob pokemonpants:i would go to the store in sbmville but remember when we went there last time

    (flashback)

    (yellowshadow was near the cash register)

    yellowshadow:i want a mcdonalds happy meal

    cash manager:sir how many times to i have to tell you that we don't serve them go to mcdonalds if you want to buy a happy meal

    yellowshadow:buy me a happy meal

    (the cash manager pulls a laser out and hits spongebob pokemonpants on accident thus turning him into a demiveemon and mudkip hybrid)

    (flashback end)

    yellowshadow:really they tried to mix me with mudkip dna for wanting a happy meal

    spongebob pokemonpants:really it was in a walmart the best store ever

    (yellowshadow turns his head)

    (yellowshadow:look a happy meal with a white dino thunder ranger toy)

    spongebob pokemonpants:were that's one of my 8 favorite suits for not having a black eye thing like most suits do

    (spongebob pokemonpants runs outside to get the toy)

    yellow shadow:thank ssj he's gone

    (yellow shadow locks the door and windows to keep spongebob pokemonpants out)

    spongebob pokemonpants:aw it's just an operation overdrive figure

    (outside spongebob pokemonpants was banging on the door)

     

    spongebob pokemonpants:i guess he locked it oh well to the end of town

    (5 seconds was wasted on spongebob pokemonpants walking then we saw a computer screen)

    spongebob pokemonpants:computer open the portal to walmart

    (a portal opened in the computer screen then it sucked spongebob pokemonpants in and turned him into a human but with blue skin)

    spongebob pokemonpants:oh a walmart

    (goes inside then buys all the stuff from the gumball machines)

    spongebob pokemonpants:next up is pokemon cards

    (next we see an aisle with every card game but pokemon)

    spongebob pokemonpants:where are my pokemon cards

    greninja:i am turning them all into barney training cards

    (spongebob pokemonpants screams so much the camera breaks then the hole in the camera absorbs greninja)

    greninja:i will get you back someday

    spongebob pokmonpants:now i need a my little pony toy

    (5 minutes from the toy aisle vladimir king was holding a dora the explorer shirt)

    vladimir king:hey um pokemonpants spongebob i was just getting this dora shirt

    spongebob pokemonpants:did you just call me by the wrong name that's it it's behavior card day

    `(this of this scene is cut do to being an unfunny meme and due to the rest of the people not even being in school)

    vladmir king:did we really have to do that unfunny meme also nothing happened and taking that toy thing was stealing

    sponebob pokemonpants fine i'll cut it from the episode

    (yellowshadow was shown next to a my little pony toy)

    pongebob pokemonpants:yellowshadow i have a bone to pick with you

    (spongebob pokemonpants goes near yellowshadow and literally picks a bone from his arm)

    Yellowshadow:how dare you i will get revenge

    (yellow dahdow goes next to pinkie pie and bites her head off)

    Spongebob pokemonpants:you monster how dare you now to call ebay and have it sell your house

    Yellowshadow:wait what

    Spongebob pokemonpants:now to buy dvds

    Yellowshadow:about that an sbm user already bought them all

    Spongebob pokemonpants:who

    Yellowshadow jebural

    Spongebob pokemonpants:now to fix the mlp toy

    (he fixes it)

    Spongebob pokemonpants:wait this isn’t a walmart it’s the stupid ripoff kmart

    Yellowshadow:vladmir king you need to get out of the store

    (yellowshadow and vladmir king rush out of the store)

    (Spongebob pokemonpants turns into a unicorn)

    Spongebob pokemonpants:now to burn kmart

    (spongebob pokemonpants used his unicorn horn to bring gas and matches near where he was then put the match in the gas)

    Spongebob pokemopants:now to use my magic to save all he toys

    (spongebob pokemonpants uses his magic to save all the kmart toys then after he does the fire happens)

    Spongebob pokemonpants:oh look something good is finally on

    (spongebob pokemonpants begins to glow until a cop appears)

    Ssj:spongebob pokemonpants you are under arrest

    Spongebob pokemonpants:aw man

    (spongebob pokemonpants gets handcuffed)

  13. You know, as I learned, writing a Bottom 10 isn't really all that fun. Definitely not this one either. Putting on boring songs that you basically have no commentary for and putting a song on the Bottom 10 that I know a lot of people would disagree with. And being the excellent year that 1999 is, there were slim pickings for the worst list. But you know what is fun? Making an excellent Top 10 I know people would agree with.

    Somebody once told me that 1999 was the best year for '90s music ever. That somebody was me and a bunch of other people too. I could make, like, a Top 40 for this year if I wanted to. Unfortunately, I only have to talk about 10 songs. 10 awesome songs. The best of the best. Here we go. Without further stalling, I finally present to you...

     

    Fred's Top 10 Songs of 1999

     

    Spoiler

    I honestly haven't met any living soul who hates The Goo Goo Dolls.

     

    10. "Black Balloon" - Goo Goo Dolls

     

     

    Really, what is there to hate about them anyways? I'd say that they're a much more sappier version of Gin Blossoms but is that really a bad thing at all? No, this song and band is just awesome.

     

    Lead singer Johnny Rzeznik said that this song was about a woman who is struggling with a heroin addiction and her lover who is desperately trying to save her. It's also about seeing someone you love that is so great just screw up so bad. It could be about any of those things. What I like about this song is just how the song treats the subject matter by sounding a little emotional but at the same time, sounding more lively. I feel like that's how all subject matters be treated. Don't care what most of you think, clearly the Goo Goo Dolls did something right.

    Spoiler

    Some things, I feel like shouldn't be said. I mean, saying them isn't illegal or anything, it's just........very strange. It'd probably be something you would probably get made fun of for. I mean, you can say something ridiculous like "Here's a Ricky Martin song on my Top 10" after you just put one of his songs on a Bottom 10 list a while ago. There is no way in hell that Ricky Martin's gonna be able to top artists like Goo Goo Dolls or Mariah Carey or Matchbox 20. There's no fucking way.

     

    Anyways, here's a Ricky Martin song on my Top 10.

     

    9. "Livin' la Vida Loca" - Ricky Martin

     

     

    Okay, I might be getting a little flak putting this guy over many better artists, but yet there's something about this song that makes me just love it. I mean, it's stupid, for sure, but it's an incredibly energetic and catchy song and Ricky Martin's just having a blast performing it. That and it sounds way more lively than Ricky's other song. Hell, I'm pretty sure it would kick ass even completely in Spanish!

     

    Actually, I don't think any song that's in primarily another different language makes the song bad. I mean, I like "99 Luftballons" and that song is completely in German. If the production of your song is actually more lively then boring, then who gives a shit about the language?

     

    Okay, I think I'm going on a completely different tangent here. Point is, this is a great Ricky Martin song, and will probably be my only favorite.

    Spoiler

    8. "No Scrubs" - TLC

     

     

    To me, TLC was the girl group that did everything right to the genre this year. While you've got Destiny's Child singing about demanding their spouses to pay their bills and Blaque doing...

     

    http://ytcropper.com/cropped/Am59827bfc620a1

     

    ...that, TLC are doing what they do best. Telling off the people they don't like. Scrubs.

     

     

    Not that Scrubs, of course. Comedy Central has a lot of nerve replacing my Always Sunny reruns with that show, though. But I digress.

     

    That's what I like about TLC. They are not afraid to get back at their enemies. They're an incredibly ballsy and badass group. I have no problem with this being the #2 song of the year. And really, anyone who disagrees with that is a scrub. And a scrub is a person who won't get no love from me.

    Spoiler

    Okay, so putting that Ricky Martin song on my Top 10 was embarrassing, what other embarrassing choice will I make next?

     

    I suppose that the next song on my list is gonna be from some boy band but there's no way that's gonna happen, right?

     

    .....right?

     

    ......Christ, what has 1999 done to me?

     

    7. "I Want It That Way" - Backstreet Boys

     

     

     

    Actually, you know what? I am gonna stand for this choice. You can say what you want about the Backstreet Boys all you want, but this song is practically untouchable. You'd pretty much have to be dead inside not to enjoy this. (Yeah, even you boy band haters.) While doing this project, I've had it get stuck in my head multiple times. I can't even get myself to stop singing it. And that part before the last chorus is just awesome.

     

    http://ytcropper.com/cropped/4f5988aeee947a6

     

    That's right. I don't wanna hear you say you don't like that part.

     

    I honestly think that this is one of those iconic songs of 1999. Even more iconic than "All Star", which I kinda got tired of hearing of. I dunno, blame the over-saturation of Shrek memes on YouTube. This song, though? I will probably never get tired of this song. And why should I? Why should you? For the love of god, sing it already!

    Spoiler

    All right, so I should probably be done with embarrassing myself even more on this list. Be glad that the rest of this list is rock-dominant.

     

    6. "Fly Away" - Lenny Kravitz

     

     

    This is Lenny Kravitz. The guy who wrote "Justify My Love" and nothing else. Nah, I kid. He definitely wrote other better music. This being one of them.

     

    I honestly see why this is his best song. The one everyone loves. This song pretty much establishes Lenny Kravitz's title as the king of funk rock. Starts out with a nice guitar hook and then kicks in and gets even better from there. And of course, Lenny Kravitz's voice is awesome. I can't name one thing I don't like about this song. I think it deserves the spot as Lenny's magnum opus song. YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!

    Spoiler

    You didn't think I would make this Top 10 without acknowledging the Chili Peppers, right?

     

    5. "Scar Tissue" - Red Hot Chili Peppers

     

     

    This is, like, one of those near-perfect songs that the Red Hot Chili Peppers ever did. It could just be the nostalgia bias talking but this was the first ever song I've heard from them. After hearing this song, I knew I had to check out more songs from this band. Along with the Californication album which is really great, by the way.

     

    This is one of the more chiller songs in their repertoire, which is one of the things I like about the band. After hearing Lenny Kravitz rock out, I sure needed this song to put me in a chiller mood. But that's the Chili Peppers for you.

    Spoiler

    You know, talking about acts like Lenny Kravitz and Red Hot Chili Peppers are great and all, but let's take a moment to talk about a one hit wonder.

     

    4. "Save Tonight" - Eagle-Eye Cherry

     

     

    Yeah, why not follow a chill song with an even chiller song? This song always seems to make me happy every time I listen to it. I mean, one of the lyrics is "Let's delay our misery". Listening to this song really makes me want to delay my misery and just become a happy man.

     

    Why this got the nod over "Scar Tissue" is because it's an incredibly positive and feel good song. And we could always use songs like this every year. Let's just let the music do the talking while I move on to the next entry.

    Spoiler

    Sometimes in music, you can easily hook someone in with a great riff. Or you can easily hook someone in with the first line straight at the beginning of your song. Well, there's a song this year that did both of those things and I think you know what it is.

     

    *breathes in*

     

    I WISH YOU WOULD STEP BACK FROM THAT LEDGE, MY FRIIIIIIIIEND

     

    3. "Jumper" - Third Eye Blind

     

     

    I swear, that's one of the best ways to start out a song. But enough about intros, let's gush about more of what makes this song great.

     

    The lead singer himself, Stephan Jenkins said this was about a friend who was gay (Not that there's anything wrong with that) who jumped off a bridge and killed himself. That's where the first line of the song comes from. He also said that the inspiration also came from some emotional experiences he had from his childhood. His parents divorced, he was poor and went to a rich high school, he was dyslexic and still has ADD. His life was.........extremely rough, to say the least. This song is about facing the traumatizing events you've had in the past and putting them all away, which is a nice message to put out there. It's also great to see that message backed up with awesome rock music.

     

    A song with a great opening, a nice message, an awesome guitar solo in the middle, and a cool snare coda at the end. I think that's all there needs to be said about this song. If you don't like it, well..............I won't understand.

    Spoiler

    Putting Ricky Martin above the Goo Goo Dolls on here was a strange move to make. I mean, putting a song from a guy who I don't even care for above a song from a band that I really like? Maybe I am livin' la vida loca...

     

    Despite that, I still managed to find a Goo Goo Dolls to top both of those songs. And make no mistake, it's my favorite Goo Goo Dolls song from this year.

     

    2. "Iris" - Goo Goo Dolls

     

     

    Out of the three songs they released this year, I chose this one as my favorite. Simply because it's the most powerful and emotional out of them all. Complete with the great production and, of course, Johnny Rzeznik's excellent voice, it really makes for a great song.

     

    Like I said before, I would put this band up with Gin Blossoms as one of my favorite pop rock bands of all time. Whenever we can't get a Gin Blossoms song, I'll always count on the Goo Goo Dolls for songs like these. And really, what kind of soulless person wouldn't?

    Spoiler

    If there's anything that's cool about this year, it's that two artists managed to make comeback songs this year. The first one we have is Cher.

     

     

    This is her song "Believe". A song I've been pondering about putting on my Bottom 10. But really, should I really be too hard on this song? Is it really Bottom 10 material? Well.......no.

     

    That song actually began to grow on me a lot. Not too much though because, well, it has the same issue I have with "All Star". Over-saturation. I live near a nightclub and one night, they played that song on repeat all night long. I couldn't get to sleep without thinking about that song. Hearing Cher using auto-tune in my thoughts. But despite that one experience, I really can't be too hard on the song anymore. I can't be too hard on Cher for my nightclub playing that song all night. So at best, the song is okay. Not a bad song at all but not something I totally love.

     

    Meanwhile, the other comeback artist that year collaborated with another singer and released what I would consider to be the best song of 1999. Though given that he's one of the most influential guitarists of all time, I knew I had to send it to the top. So here he is. Carlos god damn Santana.

     

    1. "Smooth" - Santana featuring Rob Thomas

     

     

    While I would understandably get tired of "Believe", I can't imagine I will ever get tired of this song. This is a masterpiece of a song and I don't wanna hear anyone say otherwise.

     

    Not only is this song fronted by a legendary guitarist, who proved that he can still rock his way into relevancy, it's also accompanied by Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 fame, who does a really great job as the lead singer with his excellent vocals. Complete with two awesome guitar solos at the middle and end.

     

    It's really hard to not believe that this was his comeback song. He later then collaborated with other artists and soon, the pop world let him back in again. For good reason too.

     

    The song also became a massive success too. It won three Grammys. It was the #2 song of 2000 (blocked by fucking Faith Hill, of all artists). Hell, even Billboard ranked it as the second successful song in Billboard history. Can't really argue with them. With a song as awesome as this, it deserves it. As it also deserves to be my favorite song of 1999.

    FULL LIST:

    Spoiler
    1. “Smooth” – Santana featuring Rob Thomas
    2. “Iris” – Goo Goo Dolls
    3. “Jumper” – Third Eye Blind
    4. “Save Tonight” – Eagle-Eye Cherry
    5. “Scar Tissue” – Red Hot Chili Peppers
    6. “Fly Away” – Lenny Kravitz
    7. “I Want It That Way” – Backstreet Boys
    8. “No Scrubs” – TLC
    9. “Livin la Vida Loca” – Ricky Martin
    10. “Black Balloon” – Goo Goo Dolls
    11. “Heartbreaker” – Mariah Carey featuring Jay-Z
    12. “Out of My Head” – Fastball
    13. “…Baby One More Time” – Britney Spears
    14. “Slide” – Goo Goo Dolls
    15. “What It’s Like” – Everlast
    16. “Back 2 Good” – Matchbox 20
    17. “That Don’t Impress Me Much” – Shania Twain
    18. “Take Me There” – Blackstreet featuring Mýa, Mase and Blinky Blink
    19. “Every Morning” – Sugar Ray
    20. “Man! I Feel Like a Woman!” – Shania Twain
    21. “My Love Is Your Love” – Whitney Houston
    22. “Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)” – Jay-Z
    23. “I’m Your Angel” - R. Kelly and Celine Dion
    24. “It’s Not Right but It’s Okay” – Whitney Houston
    25. “Nobody’s Supposed to Be Here” – Deborah Cox
    26. “Doo-Wop (That Thing)” – Lauryn Hill
    27. “Jamboree” – Naughty by Nature featuring Zhané
    28. “When You Believe” – Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey
    29. “Someday” – Sugar Ray
    30. “Kiss Me” – Sixpence None the Richer
    31. “I Still Believe” – Mariah Carey
    32. “All Star” – Smash Mouth
    33. “What’s It Gonna Be?!” – Busta Rhymes featuring Janet
    34. “All I Have to Give” – Backstreet Boys
    35. “She’s So High” – Tal Bachman
    36. “Unpretty” – TLC
    37. “Sweet Lady” – Tyrese
    38. “Miami” – Will Smith
    39. “Genie in a Bottle” – Christina Aguilera
    40. “Ex-Factor” – Lauryn Hill
    41. “If You Had My Love” – Jennifer Lopez
    42. “Where My Girls At” – 702
    43. “Ghetto Cowboy” – Mo Thugs
    44. “Give It To You” – Jordan Knight
    45. “The Hardest Thing” – 98 Degrees
    46. “Lullaby” – Shawn Mullins
    47. “When a Woman’s Fed Up” – R. Kelly
    48. “Can I Get A…” – Jay-Z featuring Amil and Ja Rule
    49. “Love Like This” – Faith Evans
    50. “A Lesson in Leavin’” – Jo Dee Messina
    51. “Hands” – Jewel
    52. “From This Moment On” – Shania Twain
    53. “Believe” – Cher
    54. “Summer Girls” – LFO
    55. “Because of You” – 98 Degrees
    56. “Write This Down” – George Strait
    57. “These Are the Times” – Dru Hill
    58. “Back at One” – Brian McKnight
    59. “Amazed” – Lonestar
    60. “(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time on You” – Alabama and ‘N Sync
    61. “(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time on You” – ‘N Sync
    62. “Last Kiss” – Pearl Jam
    63. “Faded Pictures” – Case featuring Joe
    64. “All Night Long” – Faith Evans featuring Puff Daddy
    65. “Angel” – Sarah McLachlan
    66. “I Do (Cherish You)” – 98 Degrees
    67. “Music of My Heart” – ‘N Sync and Gloria Estefan
    68. “Trippin’” – Total featuring Missy Elliott
    69. “Happily Ever After” – Case
    70. “I Will Remember You” – Sarah McLachlan
    71. “Anywhere” – 112 featuring Lil Zane
    72. “So Anxious” – Ginuwine
    73. “Better Days (And the Bottom Drops Out)” – Citizen King
    74. “Sometimes” – Britney Spears
    75. “Heartbreak Hotel” – Whitney Houston featuring Faith Evans and Kelly Price
    76. “Please Remember Me” – Tim McGraw
    77. “Fortunate” – Maxwell
    78. “I Need to Know” – Marc Anthony
    79. “Satisfy You” – Puff Daddy featuring R. Kelly
    80. “Angel of Mine” – Monica
    81. “Spend My Life With You” – Eric Benét featuring Tamia
    82. “How Forever Feels” – Kenny Chesney
    83. “Bailamos” – Enrique Iglesias
    84. “You” – Jesse Powell
    85. “Bills, Bills, Bills” – Destiny’s Child
    86. "Chanté's Got a Man" - Chanté Moore
    87. “Steal My Sunshine” – Len
    88. “Back That Azz Up” – Juvenile featuring Mannie Fresh and Lil Wayne
    89. “Mambo No. 5” – Lou Bega
    90. “Lately” – Divine
    91. “Tell Me It’s Real” – K-Ci & JoJo
    92. “Stay the Same” – Joey McIntyre
    93. “She’s All I Ever Had” – Ricky Martin
    94. “808” – Blaque
    95. “If You” – Silk
    96. “Wild Wild West” – Will Smith featuring Dru Hill and Kool Moe Dee
    97. “Almost Doesn’t Count” – Brandy
    98. “Have You Ever” – Brandy
    99. “Who Dat” – JT Money featuring Solé
    100. “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” – Mark Chesnutt

     

  14. Old Man Jenkins
    Latest Entry

    ???: First of all, I would like to send a shout out to all the villains out there who crushed the heroes throughout the last month and finally proved that it's a good thing to be active without ever really being active, and that it does pay to be a villain.

    The scene opens to a member in a darkened room, eating an obscenely large piece of cake.

    image.jpg

    ???: I see it. I see it everyday. People talking amongst themselves. People envisioning themselves of who they want to be. But they do not have the courage, they are not bold enough to be who they really want to be, unlike myself. From the dark colors of my aesthetic, to the facial prosthetics that I wear on my face, to the freakin cheap disguises! THIS. IS. ME. I put myself into the position where I am venerated and open to praise from people like you. People, who are sheeps to society! People, who are caged and shackled by the system! People, who would live their lives as they are told to do so. They'll get an education that'll put them in shambles financially and mentally, they'll get a job that they can't stand, they will settle for a spouse who doesn't please them, they will have kids that will grow up to hate them! And then, you will grow old, you will decay, you will wither, and then, you will die. Whereas I, I shall live forever! So if it's such a piece of cake for you, then go ahead, choose life.

    image.jpg

    ???: Choose life!

    image.jpg
    image.jpg

    ???: Choose life!

    image.jpg
    image.jpg

    ???: Choose life!

    image.jpg

    ???: But why would I wanna go and do a thing like that? For I have chosen NOT to choose life, I decided on choosing something else! I have CHOSEN to live long enough to become...The Villain.

    image.jpg

  15. Bublé Came Out of Hibernation
    Latest Entry

    Screen Shot 2017-07-13 at 3.06.59 AM.png

    I'm calling you, SM.

    And I'm calling YOU out, Netizens.

    That's right.

    You are hurting Wendy.

    She has gone from healthy to beyond anorexic. You broke. her.

    Screen Shot 2017-07-13 at 3.06.47 AM.png

    SOMEBODY PLEASE GET THIS GIRL A CHEESEBURGER

    Screen Shot 2017-07-13 at 3.07.11 AM.png

    You can see this poor girl's bones : (

    Screen Shot 2017-07-13 at 3.07.20 AM.png

    The madness needs to stop.

    Wendy was fine. She wasn't stick thin like other K-Pop idols, but she was still skinny. Probably skinner than most people in Korea.

    She was healthy.

    All I'm concerned about is the health of the idols I watch and listen to on the daily, and this has me worried to death.

    Luna made a video a while back about how her pre-comeback diet is the "water diet."

    Water. Diet.

    As in, she only drinks water, no food.

    She starves herself!

    I wouldn't be surprised if all SM idols follow this same "diet," if you call it that.

    Something needs to change in the Korean music industry. This is not normal.

    But the thing is...

    just about everyone does it.

    Every K-Pop group does this shit every comeback.

    This won't change unless fans put pressure on the industry to allow their idols to eat.

    Until then... somebody get Wendy some Wendy's.

     

    P.S. please listen to 빨간 맛 Red Flavor by clicking here. It is a bop.

  16. It's hard to believe that we're already six months into 2017. Music-wise, this has been an interesting time, with so many good albums and singles to rave about. And at this halfway point in the year, I want to talk about my favorite songs of the year so far. I decided not to limit myself to songs that are currently on the Billboard Hot 100 so I could have a bit more variety in my picks. This isn't a ranked list, just a collection of 10 songs I'm into.

    "Perfect Places" - Lorde

    Spoiler

     

     

    Lorde's second album, Melodrama, is a delightful slice of pop music. It has a different instrumental sound due to her working with a different producer (Joel Little worked on debut album Pure Heroine, while Jack Antonoff, of fun. and Bleachers, who co-wrote and co-produced songs on Taylor Swift's 1989, co-produced and co-wrote all the songs on Melodrama) but the lyrics still undeniably sound like Lorde. I adore a lot of songs on the album but Perfect Places, the final track, is possibly my favorite (at least until I listen to Melodrama a million more times :P). It's a catchy, anthemic ode to being young and trying to find a "perfect place" of happiness by drinking and partying, only to feel more lost. Lorde has said that the concept of Melodrama takes place during a house party and this song evokes feelings of the rager winding down, as you come off the high of the party and wonder what to do next. It's a beautiful song.

     

    "It Ain't Me" - Kygo feat. Selena Gomez

    Spoiler

     

     

    Tropical house may feel like a tired genre at this point thanks to all the pop songs that jumped on the trend, but I still think it's a pretty cool genre of music. And Norwegian DJ Kygo is pretty good at it if some of his earlier projects are to go by.  His production on this track is excellent. I love the acoustic guitar in the beginning, I love the bass and synthesizers, I love the finger snaps, and I especially love the way the syllables of Selena Gomez's lyrics are layered over the chorus. I've said it before but Selena Gomez has never sounded better on this track. It sounds beautifully nostalgic.

     

    "Slide" - Calvin Harris feat. Frank Ocean and Migos

    Spoiler

     

    Who would've thought that Calvin Harris knew how to bring the funk? The songs he's released lately have a totally different feel to them than his typical EDM fare. Slide is a groovy, modern take on disco that's buoyed by the beautiful vocal stylings of Frank Ocean and decent bars from Quavo and Offset of Migos. When I first heard of this collab, I was wondering how this was going to work, but the different elements somehow slide (heh, puns) together well.

     

    "Sign of the Times" - Harry Styles

    Spoiler

     

     

    If there was a contest judging the One Direction guys' solo attempts, I think Harry Styles is winning this race so far. His self-titled album is pretty solid. It's soft rock, psychedelic, folksy--a wild mishmash of different influences that he pulls together to make his own. I still think this track is fantastic. It's a bombastic, arena rock-style track that pulls me in so much that I don't mind the length. 

     

    "DNA." - Kendrick Lamar

    Spoiler

     

     

    Kendrick Lamar goes IN on this song. His delivery packs a punch and the bars themselves are incredible. Not to mention it's backed by an awesome beat from producer Mike WiLL Made-It. One of the best rap songs of the year and one of my favorites from DAMN.

     

    "The Man" - The Killers

    Spoiler

     

     

    Nearly 5 years after their last album, Battle Born, the Killers are back with new music! And what a way to come back. The Man is a funky track with bragging lyrics, though you get a sense that Brandon Flowers is being a bit tongue-in-cheek. The addition of a backup choir makes this track even cooler than it has a right to be. Consider me hyped for the new album, boys.

     

    "I Feel It Coming" - The Weeknd feat. Daft Punk

    Spoiler

     

     

    I'm a fan of The Weeknd's dark, atmospheric brand of R&B, but this sunny, fun track is a nice change of pace. It's a beautiful love song that's the marriage between the Weeknd's soulful crooning and Daft Punk's sweet disco production. 

     

    "Drew Barrymore" - SZA

    Spoiler

     

     

    I hadn't heard of SZA before listening to "Consideration", her collaboration with Rihanna on Riri's album Anti last year. Now I'm kicking myself for not listening sooner. This is such a raw, real, wonderful song about feeling insecure and having low self-esteem. I definitely want to check out more from her and I recommend her to y'all as well.

     

    "Hard Times" - Paramore

    Spoiler

     

     

    After Laughter is Paramore's poppiest-sounding album yet, not that that's necessarily a bad thing, and Hard Times embraces an 80s pop style wholeheartedly. It's catchy and fun with some profound lyrics hiding underneath the beautiful synthpop goodness.

     

    "Love" - Lana Del Rey

    Spoiler

     

     

    Lana's upcoming album is called Lust for Life, and I can definitely hear a newer, more vibrant Lana on this track. The lyrics are unabashedly happy in their celebration of love without becoming too sappy and the track has such a cosmic, enchantic feel to it. I'm in love.

     

    A few honorable mentions:

    "That's What I Like" - Bruno Mars

    Spoiler

     

     

     I love Bruno Mars. His reworking of 70s/80s funk and soul hasn't gotten tiring to me yet. The man is gifted at making a sexy, fun R&B jam and this is no exception. 

     

    "Castle on the Hill" - Ed Sheeran

    Spoiler

     

     

    While I don't dislike Shape of You as much as some, I will say that it's not even close to being the best single on Divide. That honor would go to Castle on the Hill, a charming folk-pop song that's an ode to his hometown. It paints a beautifully nostalgic picture of Ed Sheeran's life through the lyrics and that chorus has an epic sound to it.

     

    "HUMBLE." - Kendrick Lamar

    Spoiler

     

     

    Of course, I couldn't forget about this #1 smash. Kendrick is good at "conscious rap" but he can definitely create a straight up banger too. Humble is full of swagger and confidence, and thanks to Kendrick you believe that he's as great as he says. 

     

    "Bad Liar" - Selena Gomez

    Spoiler

     

     

    When I first heard this song, I wasn't feeling it. Then I listened to it again...and again...and it actually grew on me. I especially dig the sampling of the bassline from Talking Heads' song "Psycho Killer". This is definitely a weird song that doesn't sound like a lot of songs on mainstream radio right now and while I am a sucker for typical pop, that's what makes Bad Liar so appealing to me.

     

    What are your favorite songs of the year so far? Let me know.

  17. Let's do something new!  Ah yessir!! -cocks fist-, it's time for the first ever Extreme Championship Wednesdays, EEEEEEEEVER.  I'll be reviewing and talking about every ECW PPV from Hardcore Heaven '95 all the way to December to Dismember; every Wednesday!  So, without further ado, let's get EXTREME!

     

     

    Our first match of the night is showcasing some tag teams.  The current title holders, as Joey Styles calls, "dastardly, and unbelievable", Stevie Richards and Raven, accompany The Pitbulls to their match.  They are facing the Dudley's, that is Dudley Dudley and Snot Dudley.  1Q6dBvt.gif look at that little goober.  The match was pretty straightforward, a simple tag match.  The Pitbulls were dominating the match early, beating the snot out of Snot.  The crowd was its usual hot self, but were hot for Richards, Raven, and Beulah.  Beulah and some plant get into a cat fight, KITTIES, OH MY GOD.  So Raven escorts them out of the ringside area, leaving the Pitbulls all by themselves.  Dudley Dudley finally gets himself in the match, lays some beat downs on the Bulls.  But Snot again gets his ass beat by chairs and then a super powerbomb.  As one of the Pitbulls were covering Snot, Dudley hit him with a flying axe handle and layed Snot on top of him, getting the victory for the new tag team.  Pitbulls cut a loud promo about some jargon after the match.

     

     

    Second match is another tag match between Chad Austin and the Broadstreet Bully vs. Dino Sendoff and Don E. Allen.  Sloppy as fuck match with nothing to report, since the fucking police got called, AH YESSIR IT'S 911.  HE COMES OUT AND MURDERS THESE JABRONIS.  Paul E. comes out with him, and the crowd start to erupt with cheers and chants for him.  He tells the jabronis, "Welcome to the E C FUCKING W ARENA!"   1461705115537Red-Siren-Animated.gif1461705115537  Luckily, Scott Steiner was not in ECW at the time.

     

     

    qkfmjqo.png wait, what.  So the next match on the card is the human thumb, Val Puccio, or as he goes by, Big Malley.  He went into singles action against Hack Meyers, (this will not be the first time my dudes).  49OGE2m.png  good lord.  The "Shah of ECW" Hack Meyers comes out looking like Mr. Slave,  jRvDsDB.png  oh Jesus Christ...  Joey Styles absolutely roasts Big Malley through introductions, funny shit.  tycDf6S.png  this shit ain't real.  I can't even start the match without stopping to grab these ridiculous screenshots.  Don't get me started on Meyers's hair either, shit is hideous.  The match for about 3 minutes is the crowd shitting on Malley.  Every time he goes for a strike, the crowd chants "Shit!", but every time Meyers hits, they chant "Shah!"  Fun stuff.  Malley has control most of the match, until Malley misses an elbow drop and Meyers pins him for the 3.  My guy is memeing out here.

     

     

    Next match I have a feeling will be a banger.  We've got 2 Cold Scorpio vs. Taz with Paul E in his corner.  Taz dominates the match early, but Scorpio tries getting into Taz's head through psychology, taunting him and wearing the same colors as him.  Great mat wrestling, Taz showing why he is the king of the headlocks.  tumblr_o7nuzp8iMa1u1ljrzo1_540.gif  Sorry Kev.  Taz hits some huge suplexes and forces Scorpio to run out the ring.  Scorpio wins a test of strength and gets the upperhand with a few good power moves.  The ECW fans then begin to chant "Virgil" at Scorpio, 5nOagP7.pngTaz finally gets in another Tazplex, controlling the match again, but not for long as Scorpio hits a piledriver and sets up that fucking Tumbleweed BOY tumble.gif?format=750w  Taz then no sells it like an actual tumbleweed.  Taz hits a nasty Tazplex and gets the pinfall.  BUT WAIT, Scorpio's foot was on the rope.  Bill Alfonso runs down and restarts the match, woah dude.  He then threatens to shut down ECW.  Paul E. ain't having it.  Scorpio comes in and blindsides both Taz and Paul with a chair, drops the leg brother on Taz and gets the victory.  Solid match right there.

     

     

     

    A little interlude with Joey Styles plugging the show, and then mentions Shane Douglas.  Shane comes down and gets in Style's face.  Douglas is wearing a WWF shirt, tMl9KwE.png  fucking gold.  The crowd get pissed at him and start chanting "We Want Flair", McLols.  Crowd start Wooing, making this promo gold.  Douglas starts looking for more journalists to eat, calling out all journalist.  Look out big Metlz.  Douglas starts talking about conspiracies like he's Alex Jones, and then insults Styles more.  Crowd gets more pissed, telling him to shut the fuck up.  Douglas then says he's gone from ECW.  Lol.  Then "Woman" comes into the ring, (Nancy Benoit) and tells him he's a pretty smart dude.  He then calls her a slutbag.  Douglas puts her in an arm lock and Sandman comes to the rescue.  But then Cactus Jack comes in and runs Sandman out.  Douglas then threatens Sandman later in the night. Good promo for the middle of the show.

     

     

    Next it's tag title match time with Raven and Richards, accompanied by Beulah, going up against Tommy Dreamer and Luna Vachon.  Dreamer sporting a cast after Raven broke his fingers.  Raven and Dreamer start brawling on the outside, which leaves Luna and Richards in the ring to fight.  Dreamer hits Raven with a DDT and comes in to help Luna.  Luna grabs Richards by the balls and flips him across the ring, awesome.lBjvdZK.gif  Dreamer goes back outside to beat Raven up more, with the help from audience members of course.  Raven gets busted open with two frying pans to the face.  They weren't drying pans, I checked.  Dreamer leaves and comes back with this object in his hands, S44Odlg.png.  E C Fucking W.  It's apparently a TV antenna, whatever that is.  In the ring, Luna is mopping the floor with Stevie, lols.  Dreamer continues to search for signal using Raven.  Not sure a bird is going to help you Tommy.  IUqlyYL.png  Did Dreamer just vandalize South Swanson St. or does Paul just leisurely have newspaper stands laying around.  Dreams throws Raven into the stand to which Styles remarks, "Raven won't soon forget that headline!" Bummed-WWE-Wrestler-Reaction-Gif.gif  Luna keeps getting near falls in the ring, still beating the shit out of Stevie.  Dreamer comes back to help Luna out, RfvvVNh.gif  Women.  Raven gets back up and kicks the shit out of both Tommy and Luna.  Raven drags Tommy back to the newspaper stand and works on the broken fingers, ?format=750w  damn son.  Dreamer is incapacitated, while Raven and Richards take care of Luna.  Hitting a double DDT, but she kicks out!  Dreamer evens it up by tying Raven up in the ropes.  Luna hits a superplex, but Beulah comes in and throws powder in her face, the X factor.  This allows Richards to roll up Luna for the victory.  Good match, fun stuff.

     

     

     

    Bill Alfonso is summoned to the ring and is ordered to referee the Taipei Deathmatch between Axl Rotten and Ian Rotten.  Broken glass glued to the fist of each opponent, boy you know this gon be bloody.  Axl lands the first punch and cuts Ian.  Alfonso checks Ian and confers that that was enough, and stops the match.  As the announcement is made, Public Enemy and The Gangstas start brawling at the entrance.  Alfonso demands they be evacuated out of the building.  The Deathmatch is restarted after Alfonso leaves, and the two brothers just wail on each other. L2TY0sP.gif  Ian has control, landing big blows on Axl.  Ian starts cutting him with little shards.  Axl finally gets offense in with a kick, and starts digging away.  Fucking brutal.  Ian then hits a low-blow, yikes.  Axel drops Ian down on some thumbtacks and does a splash for the victory.  Hmm, violence, very ECW.

     

     

     

    So, we some how end up with Raven, Richards, Luna, and Dreamer all brawling for what seems like an eternity, then the Pitbulls come out.  They start fucking throwing each other through walls and tables.  Well, that sure was 10 minutes of the show.  Paul you crazy son of a bitch. 7fb.gif

     

     

    Next is the ECW World Heavyweight Championship match between the champ, Sandman with Nancy and Cactus Jack.  Sandman of course looks like he just woke up from a 16 hour nap and then drank a 12 pack.  He then takes a million years to enter the ring, classic Sandman.  Foley comes out with barbed wire wrapped around his fist.  Sandman is wielding two kendo-sticks, one more than Bayley was afraid to use.  This was like a real anime battle.  At least he gave Nancy one to hold for later, she might need it.  Nancy starts the match by throwing beer in Foley's face, that's rasslin.   22wT99m.gif....dive.   Foley finally gets control after hitting a huge DDT that Roberts would be proud of.  Cactus starts giving Sandman some more concussions with kendo stick shots.  Sandman gets a chair, and halts Foley's offence.  Of course, Foley cuts himself with his own barbed wire.  Sandman hits the laziest DDT that would not make Roberts proud.  Nancy leaves and returns with some more barbed wire.  Sandman wraps it around himself like a Christmas tree.  220px-ECWdectodismember2006.jpg maybe later.   Foley gets hit by some splashes with the barbed wire, but Foley isn't having that shit.  One Sandman botch later, he gets the upper-hand again.  legdrop.gif?format=750w brother - HH.  Foley starts hitting Sandman with barbed wire punches and cuts open the champion.  Nancy comes into the ring and hits Foley, but he ain't having that shit and shoves her ass down.  Could've been worse.  The ref then takes a bump, you know what that means.  The franchise comes into to try and help out Foley and hits a piledriver on Sandman.  Damn it, he isn't supposed to be here!  Then, swerve!  He attacks Cactus!  No longer friends.  Sandman gets laid on top of Foley and gets the victory.  maxresdefault.jpg

     

     

     

    Finally it's the main event, Public Enemy vs. The Gangstas.  You know anything with New Jack is bound to be a barnstormer, and absolute technical masterpiece.  OwwrfAL.png   I wonder if they got that from Dreamer?  He does eat weird things.  Shit breaks down real fast.  Mustafa and Rocco brawl to the back of the arena and we got our selfs a table spot boys.  driveby.gif?format=750w  Hell yeah.  Meanwhile, New Jack is beating the shit out of Johnny with ironically a billy club.  How very thug.  But Grunge fires back with the shitbox.  Rocco then gets thrown into a big fan, but unfortunately does not get comically diced up.  sS2RvFs.gif  This gif perhaps sums up the match in whole.  Of course, New Jack no sells it, like the story teller he is.  The original gangster New Jack.  Someone hands Mustafa a keyboard, to which Styles remarks, "Must have been handed to him by one of our internet ECW fans!"  Fucking smarks.  Grunge eventually gets a croquet mallet.  Rocco eventually gets the mallet and does a top rope dive with it to pin Mustafa.  What a shitfest, but hey, New Jack was in it.

     

     

    Overall, show was good.  Main Event was rather boring and bad, but the title matches were fun so this show gets 2.5 broken tables out of 5 from me bubba.  Tune in next time for November to Remember, in June!

  18. Good news! Activistion lost the spongebob licence!

    NOW GOOD SPONGEBOB GAMES CAN EXIST AGAIN!

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    Little Saint Nick
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    OK...this is your first time doing this, Lettuce...don't freak out..deeep breaths...

    So, now that's outta the way, hi there! My name is Retthi Manchot, but you can call me Lettuce. You're probably wondering how I accessed this site if it doesn't exist on Core Earth. Well, Omnus and Alpha had a malfunction with the Morphing Grid, it crossed over into the Warp...listen, it'll just sound weird if I explain it all, OK? Point is, this little mishap allows me, at least for a while, to access the internets of other universes! Isn't that cool?! Anyways, I'll use this little blog here to talk about whatever's on my mind.

    Don't be shy introducing yourselves! I'm sure we can get along great! See ya soon!

    -Lettuce

    (So, as I announced before, I'm creating this special character blog for the duration of SOF 7. Here, you can interact with Lettuce directly, asking him all kinds of questions, talking, etc. Hope you enjoy this as much as I will.)

  19. This blog page will update with every new episode title card of The Quickster, along with their corresponding episode number. 

    Show Logo: The Quickster.png

    1. FF.png

    2. Illustress.png

    3. Loose Canons.png

    4. Lady Quick 1.gif

    5. Time Turn 2.gif

    6. Power Play.png

    7. The Fire Fighter.png

    8. Paradox 1.png

    9. shot heard round the timeline.png

    10. What's Fast Banner.gif

    • Poster: What's fast poster.png
  20. INTRODUCTION TO THE BLOG

    Greetings all, Renegade here. As you guys may recall, I used to have a blog that was dedicated to reviewing the entire Power Rangers series one episode at a time. It failed, mainly because a: it was so ambitious, and b: I just plain forgot about it. So, I've decided to revisit the concept, this time using the first (or, the earliest I can recall) anime I remember seeing as a kid: Sailor Moon, created by Naoko Takeuchi. This blog, much like Renegade the Unicorn Reviews Power Rangers, will cover the series in its entirety (although Sailor Moon has only 5 seasons, thankfully) and will have the same format, which I will once again inform of, for those who didn't read my previous blog:

    INTRODUCTION - The introduction to the episode, usually containing tongue-in-cheek snarking.

    THE EPISODE - The blog's main "meat", if you can call it that. I summarize the episode, and talk about any lessons that it tries to teach.

    MY OPINION - Wherein I give my thoughts on an episode, its plot, and usually the moral if it has one.

    SCORE - I give the episode a rating, using the X/10 format, along with reasons why.

    INTRODUCTION TO SAILOR MOON SEASON 1

    The first season of Sailor Moon, as to be expected, sets up the premise for the series: A lazy schoolgirl named Usagi Tsukino, while running late for class one day, encounters a mysterious cat named Luna, whom informs her that she is tied to a long-ago civilization known as the Moon Kingdom, and she is recruited to help search for the kingdom's princess, as well as an artifact known as the Legendary Silver Crystal. However, an organization known as the Dark Kingdom is doing the same, as well as trying to gather energy for a being known as "the Great Ruler". Recruiting four others to her cause, Usagi goes into battle as the warrior Sailor Moon. 

    Hope you enjoy this as much as I will. Renegade, out.

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