kev Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 My New Project SBC SNL A live comedy sketch show Coming Soon PM me if interested in writing a sketch 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kev Posted July 6, 2013 Author Share Posted July 6, 2013 Here is the premiere of SNL! Thanks to GardenBoy and The Squid! I can't thank them enough for what they done for me! Thank you! *** THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS RATED PG-13 FOR MILD LANGUAGE EXTREME VIOLENCE AND MEMBER MOCKING. THE FOLLOWING EVENTS ARE 100% FAKE. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. NEWS UPDATE Written By kevin_ng2010 Dylan: Welcome to SBC Action News! I’m your News Anchor, Dylan! Unlimitedcha: And I’m Dylan’s Co-Anchor, Unlimitedch- Dylan: No time for that! Unlimitedcha looks annoyed. Dylan: Our first story for today is about our city’s glitch. Unlimitedcha: Here is Aqua Nuggets with more info at SBC Center. Aqua, You’re on. AQUA!!! Aqua: Oh sorry. I was talking to Aya. Reports say that there has been a glitch to the city’s electrical power. Some reports say that the electrical power has malfunctioned. Causing Newleaffan to have multiple clones. NO, AYA, DON’T HANG ON THAT HIGH WIRE!!! BACK TO YOU DYLAN! Dylan: Thanks for that report Aqua. We’ve been interviewing city citizens about this situation. Take a look. Wumbo: I’m pretty sure they will do something about it. Aqua: But what if they don’t? Wumbo: Then f--- them! E.V.I.L: Well, I’ve experienced this once. At SBM. His name was Nick. OMJ: Well, I personally think it’s great! Huh? Oh, you mean the power. I thought you were talking about S(lums)BU. I think it’s horrible. Aya: If this situation continues, and there is no way to fix it. I’ll tell every new citizen they’re in hell. IN HELL!!!! Unlimitedcha: In other news, our beloved Graphic Maker, Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick has retired and has moved to SBM City. We wish the best in luck for him. Dylan: He will be missed. Our other story of the day! SpongeBob fan1 was reported missing. He was asking for an illegal Office 2007 code in exchange for 10 doubloons. Unlimiedcha: And so he has been charged with a Hit & Run. He stabbed Rickpat and ran with the code. Call 1-800-SBC-CITY to report location of SpongeBob fan1. And our last new of the day- *BUZZ* Hello? Yes. OH NO, I’m late. Sorry, Got to go. Hosting SNL. Dylan: Bye Cha. So…LIVE FROM SBC STUDIOS, ITS SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE! SBCSNL HOST UNLIMITEDCHA WRITERS KEVIN_NG2010 GARDENBOY THESQUID CREATED BY KEVIN_NG2010 PLEASE WELCOME YOUR HOST, UNLIMITEDCHA! Unlimitedcha: Hello everyone! Thank you. Settle down! Please. The audience stops applauding. Unlimitedcha: Ok, ok. Welcome to SNL! We’ve got a great show planned for you tonight! It’s a full house! Am I right? *Audience Cheers* Unlimitedcha: Of course! They cheer every time. Anyway, our city is now jam-packed with building that are built for member to host meeting to Ask Questions! That’s what coming up next. Don’t change the channel because SNL will be right back! UP NEXT ON SNL: Ask Questions with The Squid Later, SBRAF *** Unlimitedcha: Welcome back! Here is Ask Questions! *Awkward Silence* Unlimitedcha: Huh? Oh, Okay. Sorry guys. There has been a mix up. Let the show begin! *Audience Cheer* *** HEADS OFF Written by The Squid Queen: Hello! Halibut? Halibut: Yes? Queen: Off with your head! Halibut: NO! Queen: Come on, Halibut, get over here so I can go OFF WITH YOUR HEAD! Halibut: You'll never go off with my head! (Halibut runs away) Queen: I demand that that I go off with your head! Halibut: No! (Halibut runs into fast food resturaunt) SG: Hello! Welcome to Cliché Fast Food! May I take your order? Halibut: Yeah! I’d like a tuna burger, and THERE’S A WACKY LADY COMING! Queen: Off with your headsssssssssssss! SG: Oh no! I don't want to lose my head! (Halibut jumps over the counter) SG: No! That's where all the sauce is! Sauce: What? SG: No, not you. Halibut: Ahh! A rat! SG: Oh, that's a fake one I put there so people like you would jump back out. Halibut: Say, the BBQ sauce is good. (Newleaffan enters) Queen: Off with your head! Newleaffan: Maybe a doctor will give me a smarter head. But what if he doesn’t? What if I die? But what if he does? What if I get a mannequin head? What if I get a robot head? Queen: Forget it. Newleaffan: What if I get a small brain? What if I have acne? What if I'm bald? Queen: (Stares at Cha) Off with your head! Cha: Ahh! Fine! Just don’t kill me! Queen: What? Cha: Nooo! Queen: Crazy people. (Queen enters kitchen and takes lettuce head) Queen: See? Everybody: Oh. SG: You know, that lettuce belongs to us. Queen: Well, I don’t give a crap. *** Unlimitedcha: Security? Newleaffan? Yeah, he’s back stage. Go get him! Yeah, Let’s take a break now! UP NEXT: What does SBRAF mean? Find out after SNL returns from the break! *** SUPER BATTLE ROBOT ACTION FORCE! Written by GardenBoy BATTLE ROBOT! BATTLE ROBOT! BATTLE ROBOT ACTION FORCEEE! Characters: Mark: The Robot who owns the house and talks to the SBRAF though a giant TV *not ripping off Major Monogram* Alpha: obviously the very responsible leader (Robot) Rockwell: the second in command boring medic guy (robot) Jace: The irresponsible fun awesome guy. *not ripping off Michelangelo (robot) Dave: The kinda dumb strong guy. (robot) *please note we did not rip off Hasbro or Machinima. Also use this site for Russian translations, http://translation2....an-Translation/click the drop down and select the Russian to English translation* Episode 1: К России И Назад Jace: Alpha why did you buy all this toilet paper? Rockwell: Yeah we don’t even use the bathroom. Dave: or have a--holes… Alpha: well…. I just thought that…. LET’S GET A—HOLES INSTALLED! All except for alpha: no we’re definitely not doing that. Mark: Super Battle Stupid Long Acronym people! All: what is it Mark. Mark: Galvatron rigged one of Russia’s airlifts to blow! Rockwell: But isn’t galvatron one of Hasbro’s Tran…. Alpha: NO! NO COPYRIGHT CLAIM! Mark: actually I bought the rights to the name from Hasbro. Man there a pain in the gears in court. Rockwell: But if you bought the rights and were in a TV show, didn’t we just break the 4th wall 3 times? Mark: Oh no.. *Door explodes* *Many 4TH WALL POLICE DEPARTMENT officers are standing pointing their guns at them* 4WPD Officer: FREEZE F--KERS! Alpha: Yeah about that… *all 4 of them fly through the ceiling* *all staring at the giant hole in the ceiling* 4WPD officer: so…. Mark: get out of my house. *scene cuts to Russia* Alpha: You all heard what Mark said! SBRAF disperse! And do something mission related… Rockwell you’re with me. Rockwell: Ok… **5MINUTES LATER** *Jace is walking down a street in Moscow* *He bumps into a person who turns out to be Vladimir Putin* Vladimir Putin: Что hel человек!!! Jace: What the heck man! Vladimir Putin: СДЕЛАЙТЕ ВЫ ЗНАЕТЕ, КТО я!?!? Jace: no.. BUT DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?!?! Vladimir Putin: УМРИТЕ ГЛУПЫЙ BYATCH! *putin pulls out handgum* *jace transforms his hand into a gun* *they point their guns in each other’s faces* Vladimir Putin: не знайте то, что Вы делаете попытку, бездельничают смнением как Путин! Jace: uh huh… *shoots Vladimir Putin’s head off* *Jace and the guards stare at Putin’s body* Jace: ах shi------ *Alpha and Rockwell are wating for the others to arrive* Alpha: they should be here by now? *Dave walks up* Alpha: Hey Dave! We completed the mission! So what did you do? Dave: I played Russian roulette… and won… *They see a big bullet hole going through his head* *Jace runs toward them* All: hey Jace. Jace: yeah no time we have to leave now! Dave: why? Jace: Because I kinda killed Vladimir Putin… Alpha: YOU DID WHAT!! Rockwell: ah выдумка. Alpha: What? Dave: oh Russian Solders coming up. *Russian soldiers surround them* Rockwell: Looks like we’re gonna have to take them head on. Alpha: SBRAF ROLL OU--- Dave: COPYRIGHT CLAIM! Alpha: SHADDAP!!! *really freaking awesome fight scene with awesome music ending with the SBRAF defeating thE Russian Army.* Jace: Well I’m not coming here again.. *Alpha looks at him very angrily* Jace: What? UP NEXT: Unlimitedch & GardenBoy closes the show *** Josh & Brian 612 Warf Ave. Written by GardenBoy *side notes: beware, bad grammar ahead and folk is pronounced ‘fough’* *scene opens to an abandoned warehouse* *address is 612 Warf Avenue* Josh: Man, what is this place? Brian: I don’t know, I think it’s an abandoned warehouse. Josh: Wait I know this place! IT’s the warehouse next to the Gentlemans club. Not like I go there or anything…. *someone walks out of the dark* *it turns out to be an abandoned warehouse where a gang takes as their hideout.* Gang leader: Waz gewd, Ninjas. You be on our hiz-house now. Josh: Huh? Brian: I speak ‘black’ he’s saying that were on their terf now, and probably that they want something from us. Josh: Ok ask them what they’re doing here. Brian: waz up waz up waz up waz up waz uuuuup my ninja. Gang leader: Maaaan wuz it look like? We be tryin’ to start ai pyramid scheme son. Josh: Ok ask him what’s it gotta do with us. Brian: Sheeeeeeeit. Wuz ai biz in da hiz-house? Gang leader: Maaaaaan you gots da money son. We looked up yo records and yo da richest in da hood, mo. Anyways onto business. Yo got da money? Brian: Yo Josh do we have any money? Josh: naw at least not on me. Brian: (to gang leader) Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. Gang Leader: Ice, that’s just grizzy. Whatever, peeps pop da caps in their azzes. *gang members cock their guns* Brian: Naaaaaaaaaaaaaw, son. Gang Leader: a’ight son. I’ll reconsider son. Gang Leader: You know what son? You mofos can help us wit our pyramid scheme. Josh: Isn’t that great… *scene cuts to a random street* Gang Leader: a’ight mo if we’re gonna pull of all dem schemes I got planned, we gonna need a getaway car. Gang leader: So you mofos is gonna do some grand theft auto and steal us a car. Josh: Why are you talking so loud? DO you want the cops to hear us?? *a policeman is walking down the street* Gang Leader: YO FOLK I CAN DO WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE SON. IF I WANT TO TALK LOUD ABOUT STEALING CARS THEN I’LL DO IT!! Policeman: What’s this about stealing cars? All: ummmm… *they run away while the police chases them.* *they get away and return to the hideout.* Gang Leader: Ice, that’s just grizzy… Well thanks to some people we didn’t get the car… Josh: But it’s your fault. *Gang Leader stares at Josh* Gang Leader: Folk before I was interrupted I was gonna say that I has another plan. Brian: Elaborate. Gang Leader: See we get lots o acid see, and den we melt down the walls of a bank den… Josh: That’s just peachy keen but how/where do we get acid? Brian: Sheeeeeeeeeit where da acid in da hiz-house? Gang Leader: See son you didn’t let me finish son. SO we make a rapsong with a badazz beat see, with the message of feddin’ da shortez see, then they bring da food here to dis address and then we gets da flies, and the flies see they spit acid see when they eat see, so we get all their acid and use it to melt down a bank then we gets da money to start ai pyramid scheme IN DA HIZ-HOUSE! Josh: Yeah um we’re not doing that. *** Unlimitedcha: And that concludes this episode of Saturday Night Live! Thank you all for watching! Good Night! Next Episode 7/20: Newleaffan 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbl Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 This is awesome! When will I BE IN A SKIT! Newleaffan gets to be in a skit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Cowboy Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Gang Leader: Sheeeeettt. Then get the helllllllll out sonz. *** Unlimitedcha: And that concludes this episode of Saturday Night Live! Thank you all for watching! Good Night! Next Episode 6/13: Newleaffan NOOOOO THAT RUINS THE WHOLE PLOT OF THE NEXT EPISODE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kev Posted July 8, 2013 Author Share Posted July 8, 2013 NOOOOO THAT RUINS THE WHOLE PLOT OF THE NEXT EPISODE. Edit it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Cowboy Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 True lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moar Boy Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Need moar me. Maybe I can be a random guy who get blown up in the very beginning? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kev Posted July 12, 2013 Author Share Posted July 12, 2013 7/27: Nuggets 8/3: Wumbo 8/10: TBA That's all for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgerpants Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 Can I be in the show? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kev Posted July 16, 2013 Author Share Posted July 16, 2013 Need moar me. Maybe I can be a random guy who get blown up in the very beginning? Can I be in the show? Don't push it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClassicNickelodeon Fan 1 Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 Don't push it I say we take Kevin and push him somewhere else! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kev Posted July 16, 2013 Author Share Posted July 16, 2013 Halibut has joined our panel of writers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kev Posted July 20, 2013 Author Share Posted July 20, 2013 Series Premiere Of SNL, July 6, 2013, 7:55 PM Unlimitedcha: Security? ???: You found him yet? Unlimitedcha: Newleaffan? Yeah, he’s back stage. *The Security Guard reveals to be OMJ* OMJ: I’m on my way to the studio. Unlimitedcha. Go get him! *OMJ looks at Newleaffans wanted poster* OMJ: Oh it’s on bitch! snl writters kevin_ng2010 sbnator20 maxwell halibut *Cuts to backstage* NLF: Shh, it’s me. NFL. So we’re live backstage at the first tapping of SNL. I’m in Unlimitedcha’s Dressing Room. It’s really dark in here. Let me take this torch. Ah, burn. *NFL walks down the stairs* NFL: I hear voices. *Somebody opens the door* NFL: Who is here? I-I-I’ll give you my other accounts that I made. *Screen turns to static* 8:00 PM NFL: This place is freaking me out. What the- *NFL looks at a dead, hanged upside down Squidly* NFL: I NEED TO GET OUTTA HERE!! *Wind blows NFL’s torch* NFL: AHHH, HELP! IT’S DARK! 8:15 PM *OMJ searches for NFL in Cha’s Dressing Room* OMJ: He’s got to be in here. *OMJ walks down to the dungeon* OMJ: Man, it’s cold in here. NLF: Cha? OMJ: FOUND YOU LITTLE BASTARD! *They both fight to the death until OMJ was sitting on NLF* OMJ: AYA, HURRY! *Suddenly, Aya comes in the room* Aya: 1…2…3…WEED THE PEOPLE! LET’S KILL HIM! *OMJ and Aya both punch NLF again and again* pARaNORmAL AcTiVItY *** PRESENT DAY LIVE FROM SBCSTUDIOS, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Now, Here is SBRAF *** SUPER BATTLE ROBOT ACTION FORCE! Written by sbnator20 BATTLE ROBOT! BATTLE ROBOT! BATTLE ROBOT ACTION FORCEEE! Characters: Mark: The Robot who owns the house and talks to the SBRAF though a giant TV *not ripping off Major Monogram* Alpha: obviously the very responsible leader (Robot) Rockwell: the second in command boring medic guy (robot) Jace: The irresponsible fun awesome guy. *not ripping off Michelangelo (robot) Dave: The kinda dumb strong guy. (robot) *please note we did not rip off Hasbro or Machinima. Also use this site for Russian translations, http://translation2....an-Translation/ click the drop down and select the Russian to English translation* Episode 2: Робот Работы в качестве няни Высшего качества Сила Актона *Dave and Jace bust through the door* Alpha: Where were you guys? Jace: Well we weren’t out killing people if that’s what your thinking. Alpha: What!!! Dave: Umm who are these shorteez? Alpha: Oh these are Brian’s kids. Jace: Brian? Alpha: Yeah you know Brian, black guy; we went to Vegas with him? Dave: Wait he’s married? Rockwell: Apparently Mark: Super Robot things!!! All: What Mark… Mark: Terrorists are threating to blow up Canada!! Dave: So? Rockwell: Shhhhhhhhhh your offending people. Jace: Those darn terrorists. Alpha: But we have to babysit these kids… Mark: Well figure it out yourself. Mike out. *Big TV screen turns off* Rockwell: So what now? Alpha: Wait lemme think… Ummmmmm you two (pointing at Jave and Dave.) go and save Canada while Rockwell and me stay here a put the kids to sleep. Rockwell: Wow is that the best you can do? Alpha: Shut up… *Dave and Jace fly through the ceiling* Alpha: Huh… ***5 MINUTES LATER*** Rockwell: (whispering) Well the kids are asleep and… *Dave and Jace fly through the wall next to the door. Jace is holding a bag of chips* Alpha: Whoa! You guys saved Canada that fast? Jace: Yeah that’s what we did… *The TV is on with the news channel.* News Anchor: Breaking News! Terrorists have just blown up Canada!! More on that later… Now for some new from earlier today! There have been reports that two giant metal humanoid beings were at the town’s square allegedly stomping and killing people. More on that story later, now for more recent news. The 7-11 down the street from here has been robbed about 5 minutes ago… *Alpha looks at Jace angrily* Jace: What? Alpha: YOU STOLE IT??? Jace: No… Maybe… (eating chips while talking.) News Anchor: This just in! The SWAT team has arrived and has found a trail of potato chips leading to a house… *Alpha still looks at Jace angrily* Jace: What? Alpha: YOU LEFT A TRAIL OF POTATO CHIPS??? Jace: I got hungry on the way here… *Brian bursts through the door* Brian: Um yeah I need the kids like right now. Alpha: What happened Brian? Brian: Um nothing I like need the kids RIGHT NOW…. *He runs in the room where his kids are sleeping and picks them up and runs out the house* *A piece of debris from the hole that Jace and Dave made falls on Brian* Dave: So can robots even eat chips? Jace: I don’t know but if just feels right, Y’know? *Alpha still is looking at Jace angrily* Jace: What?? Their house explodes showing that the SWAT team have found their house and are surrounding it SWAT officer: FREEZE!!! IT’S THE SWAT!! Alpha: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFU— *** Now here’s “Squidly & The Fool”! *** Squidly and the Fool By The Squid Squidly: Gah, I hate this confounded instrument. Fool: You know, I hate it more than you do. Squidly: Here, you try playing this mess. (The Fool plays the clarinet) Squidly: Oh, you peasant! That composition hasn’t even been invented yet! Fool: Hey, it’s not my fault. Squidly: Yes it is. You must’ve come from the future! Fool: I hate you. Squidly: I’m annoying, aren’t I? Fool: Yup. Squidly: Good. Fool: Curses. Squidly: Now, take me to your time doohickey. Fool: I don’t have one. Squidly: You must be arrested for refusal to admit treason! Fool: You can’t do that! Squidly: It’s medieval times. I can do what I want because we forgot about plumbing! Fool: Squidly: You admit it, right? You have that face! Fool: You mean the face I was born with? Squidly: Yes. It says “I’m a loser and I should lose my head”. Fool: Well, your head says BALD! Squidly: It’s called “Cranium Deficiency”. Fool: That means “No brain”, right? Squidly: No! It means… I don’t know what it means, but it’s a way for me to say I’m bald without me saying I’m bald… doh… Fool: The truth cometh out. Squidly: I have a hat, you prepz. Fool: Yeah? Well I have fashionable clothing. I am from the future. Squidly: HA! YOU’RE A FUTURE PERSON! I KNEW IT! Sauce: This was the "fooliest" doll I could find! Cha: Why did you lie to me then? Sauce: I don't have the future doohickey think. Cha: What was this from? The Notre Dame movie? Sauce: No… it was from a knockoff. *** Up Next: Halibut’s First Sketch, if it ever happens… *** No Host means no SNL? Well we don’t give a crap. SNL is host less tonight. Deal with it. Right now, You’re reading this. Hello! This is kevin_ng2010 speaking. Uh yeah, Halibut hasn’t post his sketch. Yer Fired. That’s all for now! Just Kidding. I’m just toying with ya. Right Now: Josh & Brian! By sbnator20! *** *Scene opens the abandoned warehouse * Josh: This has to be the dumbest thing I have ever seen…. *The warehouse is full of food* Gang Leader: Man I told yas dat dis was gonna work. Peope love dem some shorteez. (Note: Here is the ‘For the Shorteez’ song) Brian: So how are we supposed to get the acid? Gang Leader: Man I told you….mannnnn I don’t know man didn’t think I’d get this far man… Josh: Well you should have thought of it because now were stuck here doing nothing and my wife needs me home by six. Brian: But you don’t have a wee- Josh: SHUT UP. So can I go? Gang Leader: Um Ye-No. You guys are stayin’ he’e til you get a plan. Josh: Didn’t you say that we need the flies to get the acid so don’t we have to just wait here until the food gets old and flies appear? Gang Leader: Hell no! ...yeah. Brian: Sooooo… ***A FEW WEEKS LATER*** Gang Leader: See man I told you this would work! So does anyone have a plan? Josh: Look we’ve been standing here for 3 weeks I don’t think anyone has a plan!! Josh: Well we’re leaving now. Gang Leader: Ok go I don’t care! *They walk out the warehouse and are stopped by gang members* Gang Leader: Well you’re now use to us anymore and we can’t just let you go so… You gon’ die! Brian: But what about the deal! Gang Leader: Niga yo deal has changed! Lock and Load! Three voices: Not if we have anything to say about it! *Three penguins slide in and defeat the gang members surrounding Josh and Brian* Gang Leader: Not You! I hate those psychotic penguins! *He flees into the warehouse* Josh: What the??... Skodward: Guten Tag! My name is Skodward and these other penguins are Colonel and ummmm… Dragovich: it’s Dragovich…. Skodward: Whatever. Skodward: Like I was saying…. *Josh and Brian look at Skodward while he’s talking* *Brian kicks all three penguins into ‘kingdom come’* Brian: Well that’s the end of that. Josh: Yeah…. You wanna see a movie? Brian: Ok I guess… *They start walking toward the movie theater and Brian starts singing* Brian: (singing) For the shorteez! Josh: Don’t sing that… *** Thanks for watching SNL! See you next Saturday with Nuggets! Good Night! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kev Posted July 24, 2013 Author Share Posted July 24, 2013 SNL is in a hiatus as of right now. I'm gonna focus on other projects. SNL will STILL CONTINUE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweat Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 SNL is in a hiatus as of right now. I'm gonna focus on other projects. SNL will STILL CONTINUE! Cue Dick in a Box! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kev Posted July 24, 2013 Author Share Posted July 24, 2013 Cue Dick in a Box! Canned. I mean it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Sejima Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 Canned. I mean it. really? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kev Posted August 9, 2013 Author Share Posted August 9, 2013 really? Yus o3o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMM Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 Love this. Continue. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kev Posted August 12, 2013 Author Share Posted August 12, 2013 Love this. Continue. The new episode will air this Saturday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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