Scary Story Contest

[JCM]

Greetings, mortals! It is I, the Floating Shopping List, and I am here to find the most terrifying wordsmith among you and crown him or her as the champion of this year's Scary Story Contest! Do you have what it takes to match the sheer horror of the "Milk", "Eggs", and "Cheese" combination? Test yourself now! The deadline is next Friday, All Hallow's Eve 2014, after which I and my fellow floating shopping lists which will judge your work against the others. Are you afraid? You should be! Post your story submissions in this thread. They must be original, not plagiarized from someone, and be a maximum of 1,000 words. Whoever wins will be given 5,000 doubloons, and all other submissions will be given 1,000. So, what are you waiting for? Get writing!

[sbl]

There once was a ugly barnacle he was so ugly that everyone died. The end. OR IS IT DUN DUN DUNNNN

 

 

 

na jk this is just a fake story I don't want to enter

[Clappy]

Am I allowed to enter a Halloween themed episode of SBCinema?

[JCM]

Am I allowed to enter a Halloween themed episode of SBCinema?

 

Sure.

[Clappy]

Sure.

Sweet:

 

The Canadian Chainsaw Massacre

Film: Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

 

On October 31, 2014, five young adults, Sauce, her boyfriend Shin, Kan, Wumbo, and Cha, are on their way to a Our Lady Peace concert after returning from America, to buy “sandwiches”. As they drive through Waterloo, Canada, they pick up a distraught hitchhiker (JCM in a cameo) they spot walking in the middle of the road. After trying to talk to the hitchhiker, who talks incoherently about "a hot tempered man", he pulls out a .357 Magnum and shoots himself in the mouth.

 

The group goes to a nearby eatery to contact the police where The Great Aya tells them to meet the sheriff at the mill. Instead of the sheriff, they find a little boy named Omair who tells them that the sheriff is at home getting drunk when the sheriff should be drowning his sorrows in Nutella. Sauce and Shin go through the woods to find his house, leaving the other three at the mill with the boy. They come across a Waterloo plantation house where Sauce is allowed inside by the owner, an amputee an proud Waterlooian named Jenkins, to phone for help. When Sauce finishes, the old man asks her for the validity of her eyelashes. Shin goes inside to look for his boo and is bludgeoned with a sledgehammer by ______  aka:

 

 

Hot tempered, he drags Shin's body into the basement to make a new face

 

 

and discovers a small black box that falls from Shin's pocket. Opening it, he discovers an engagement ring intended for Sauce.

 

Meanwhile, Sheriff Elastic arrives at the mill and disposes of the hitchhiker's body, wrapping JCM in plastic wrap and putting him in his trunk. Sauce returns and finds that Shin is still missing. Wumbo and Sauce go back to Waterloo Jenkins's house, where Sauce distracts him while Wumbo searches for Shin. Jenkins realizes Wumbo is inside and summons _____ by the name of Future Writer…Cartoon Fan…Enigma, who attacks them with a hot tempered stunner.

 

 

Sauce escapes and heads towards the woods, but Enigma slices Wumbo's leg after he refuses to Shake It Off. Enigma carries him to the basement and impales him with a meat hook clothesline before rubbing salt on Wumbo's stump and wrapping it in butcher paper.

 

Sauce makes it back to the mill but before she can leave, Sheriff Elastic shows up. After spotting marijuana on the dashboard, he orders Sauce, Kan and Cha to get out of the van so he can get high as a kite. Elastic gives Kan the gun he took from JCM and tells him to reenact how JCM killed himself. Kan, scared and disturbed by the sheriff getting blazed, attempts to shoot, after listening to Jjs in his head tell him how to do it, only to find the gun is unloaded. Sheriff Elastic handcuffs Kan and drives him to Jenkins house (a drive which includes a verbal berating), taking the van's key with him. Sauce manages to hot wire the truck, but one of the wheels falls off, and Enigma begins chainsawing through the roof.

 

 

When Cha attempts to flee she is chased and killed by Enigma for her preferences for Lilcorey. Sauce, who sees that Enigma is wearing Shin's face as a mask, runs and hides in a nearby trailer with two women inside, an obese middle-aged women known only as 'The Negi', and a younger women named Jelly, presumably her daughter, who offer her tea and try to soothe her. The women talk strangely, and after telling Sauce they don't have a phone for her to call for help, a telephone rings and Jelly tells someone on the other end "she's jere". Sauce discovers they have kidnapped a child when she sees that the baby with them is the same child in a photograph with JCM. However, the tea is drugged and she passes out before she can leave the trailer. Sauce wakes up at the house surrounded by

 

:

 

Enigma, The Great Aya, Sheriff Elastic, Waterloo Jenkins, and little boy Omair.

 

The Great Aya tells Sauce that her excuse for her actions is that Enigma was hot tempered his whole life, because of a skin disease that left his face disfigured and she felt no one cared for her family besides themselves. Sauce is taken to the basement, where she finds Wumbo. After several unsuccessful attempts to help him off the meat hook clothesline, she kills him to end his blog’s suffering.

 

Afterwards, she finds a crused Kan handcuffed in a bathtub. Omair, who does not agree with his community’s actions, leads them out of the house. Omair rejects Sauce's plea to come with them, and distracts Enigma long enough for them to escape. Sauce and Kan find an abandoned shack in the woods and barricade themselves inside. Enigma breaks in and discovers Sauce, but Kan attacks Enigma, causing him to drop his chainsaw. Hot tempered, Enigma lifts Kan entangling his handcuffs into the Canadian flag, and slices his groin, killing him. Sauce runs out of the shack and escapes through the woods.

 

While pursuing her Enigma trips over a wired fence and cuts his own leg with the chainsaw. Sauce finds a Tim Horton’s and hides under a table. Enigma opens the doors across from hers and she attacks him with steaming hot coffee, burning off his right arm. Sauce runs outside and flags down Jensen Ackles, whom she tries to convince to drive away from the community. But he stops to find help at the spooky haunted house full of supernatural occurrences. Sauce sees The Great Aya and Sheriff Elastic talk to Jensen Ackles, and Jelly watching over the kidnapped baby in a highchair. When Jelly walks outside to join The Great Aya and Sheriff Elastic, Sauce sneaks the baby out of the eatery and places her in Jensen’s Impala, before hot-wiring it. Elastic notices her and tries to stop her, but she runs him over repeatedly until he is dead. Enigma suddenly appears in the road and attempts to stop her with his chainsaw

 

 

But he is too hot tempered, and Sauce escapes with her babe.

[Old Man Jenkins]

Here's a lil something-something I put together.

Family Reunion

For years, Sheldon J. Plankton had always kept himself distant from his extended family, mostly out of shame in knowing that he's the only one out of the thousands of them who actually went to college and strived to achieve bigger and better things in life than just guzzling down root beer, watching trash TV all day. So it would come as sort of a shocker to Clem when he found out that cousin Sheldon would volunteer to host the annual Plankton Family Reunion at his restaurant, The Chum Bucket. Before Clem could put anymore of what little bit of thought he had into it, the idea of all the free root beer he could drink at the function swept through his mind like red tide.

The Plankton family made their way to Bikini Bottom in droves, all gathering at what looked to be the biggest reunion in years. Sheldon welcomed them in with open arms, almost immediately indulging them in an entire buffet of what was pretty much of the chum variety. From chummy joes, chumsticks, chum nuggets, chum burger, chum fricassee, and of course, his special Chum Bucket Supreme.

"Hey cousin Sheldon!" Cousin Jeke shouted out to him. "What's the recipe fer this here 'chum freak assy'?"

"Well Cousin Jeke," Sheldon responds. "I first put in about three teaspoons of chopped onions an- oh dear, your fricassee looks like it could use some more salt!"

Sheldon quickly covered Jeke's fricassee with a pinch more salt. A pinging sound could be heard coming from the kitchen.

"Sounds like my chumbalayas are done. I'll be right back!" Plankton hastily made his way into his kitchen, the doors shutting loudly behind him.

As appetizing as all this chum was to the common plankton, Clem couldn't help but wonder where all the root beer was. He set his plate down and followed Plankton into the kitchen to inquire about it. When he entered the kitchen, Sheldon was nowhere to be seen. There appeared to be no chumbalayas cooking, and worse, no root beer anywhere. Clem climbed up on to the kitchen island to give himself a better view of the room. He steps foot onto a piece of paper, which was like a giant to him. Next to the paper was an open bottle.

Clem looked over the paper and it had what appeared to be a recipe of some sort on it.

1. Three tsp. of chopped onions

2. A pinch of salt

3. A cup of love

4. 4 lb of freshly ground plankton

Sheldon finally emerged from a secret door to what appeared to be his laboratory behind the oven. He instantly notices Clem looking over the paper and jumps up to approach him.

"Hey there, Clem-Clem! Whatcha have here?" Sheldon asked with false sincerity.

"I don't know" Clem replies. "I can't read!" Clem laughed to himself. Sheldon laughed along with him, a bit more maniacally, but that didn't seemed to throw Clem off.

Sheldon laid a few cases of root beer out on the table, covering the paper.

"Here's what you've all been waiting for!"

"SOOOOEEE! Root beer, root beer, root beer!" Clem shouted out with glee.

"Say Clem, do you mind helping me distribute these root beers to everyone? A couple thousand seem a bit more than I can handle." Sheldon asks, pouring a few cups to hand out.

"Sure thing Cousin Sheldon, that's what family's fer!" Clem grabs a case and accompanies Plankton back out to the reunion.

"Wonderful." Plankton muttered, snickering to himself.

"Boy, I tell you what, I CAN'T WAIT to put one of these cups of love to my lips I'm tellin' you right now, Cousin Sheldon!"

[JCM]

This was a tough one, but the floating shopping lists have decided, and the winner of the 2014 Scary Story Contest is...OMJ! Congratulations! You and Clappy will receive your doubloons now.